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Lena sighed as she snuggled tighter into Kara’s arms, fighting to avoid thinking about the wind rushing past them as they flew, trying to focus instead on Kara’s warmth.
It was a Friday night. In keeping with their tradition - ever since Kara had come back from the phantom zone - Kara lifted Lena into her arms, carrying her to their stargazing spot. For months, that spot had simply been the roof of the Tower… until Lena found an old run-down observatory in the desert east of National City, and bought it.
Lena reminded herself to breathe, focusing on the next steps for restoring the observatory instead of the wind rushing by. With Alex and Kelly busy planning their wedding, and Nyxly gone, Lena and Kara planned to spend their next few weeks on the restoration project. The new components were already ordered and nearly done being manufactured. And Kara had offered to, quite literally, do the heavy lifting of the project.
Maybe it was unwise. Considering Lena’s feelings for the blonde, some part of her knew that she should be trying to get a little distance. Not participating in these romantic stargazing excursions. Not excitedly poring over blueprints with the kryptonian as they figured out how to put the observatory telescope together. All that did was prolong the pain when she should be trying to move on. Trying to have a normal friendship. At least I’m trying to move on in other ways, Lena justified to herself. Maybe when I-
“Almost there,” Kara murmured in Lena’s ear, and Lena felt them start to descend.
Kara’s heart hammered in her chest as Lena curled up closer, blanket tight around them both. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to feel normal around her, Kara thought, glancing at the brunette from their place sitting at the desert floor. I don’t think I’d ever want to.
After all that they’d been through, Kara felt lucky enough just to have her forgiveness - she could never expect more. Even if Lena were somehow into women, Kara thought, a little mournful, After everything, that ship has sailed…
But if they had their Friday nights of stargazing, that would be enough.
The observatory was rusted and broken, but the site in the desert was gorgeous. Far enough away from the city lights to bring out the dazzling spread of the Milky Way, like white dust scattered across the skies. Kara couldn’t wait to put the new observatory together - couldn’t wait to show Lena all the things she could already see. And if the Lena Luthor Foundation would now own and operate the observatory, serving its science and youth programs, that was only a bonus. Esme and her classmates would love this, Kara thought. “When does everything arrive?” Kara asked.
“The first shipment is next weekend,” Lena replied.
Kara turned to her. “I could fly over and get it, ya know-”
“Please, Kara,” Lena said, smiling back at the blonde, “It’s nice enough that you’re offering to put it together.”
Kara smiled back, and turned up to the stars.
“Did kryptonians ever wish on stars?” Lena asked.
“Nope,” Kara said. “That would be sacrilege, given that our star was our god.”
“Makes sense.”
“I wish on Rao, sometimes, though,” Kara said. “When I landed, I mean. And started learning Earth traditions. I’d find him in the sky and make wishes.”
“What do you wish for?” Lena asked, and the expression on Kara’s face faltered.
She had wished for so much throughout the years. For her family to return - her younger self never imagined that would come true, years later. She wished she would be able to learn to control her new powers - and that came with time. She wished that her new foray into being a superhero would bring people hope - and she would never stop trying.
She wished for Lena’s forgiveness, which she also received. She wished for Lena’s love, until the day in the Fortress where she realized she would never have it, and she stopped asking.
She only made one wish after that - after Mxy’s visit - but even then, she knew it was foolish. Mxy’s magic was clear, as Kara’s nightmares never failed to remind her. Even the smallest mistake could cost her everyone she ever loved. Rao, I hate secrets…
Kara had long accepted reality. She would never needlessly complicate her relationship with Lena, she would never risk her loved ones in telling the world who she was. Some secrets were better kept. “Sometimes I wish I could be all of me,” Kara finally said. “Everywhere. With everyone.”
Lena snuggled closer. “Do you ever consider coming out? Telling the world who you are?”
“It doesn’t work that way.”
“Why not?”
Kara shrugged. “It’s fine, Lena. It’s just a dream.”
Lena took a shaking breath as Kara deposited her safely on her balcony floor, trying to soothe the pounding of her heart. Slow breaths, she reminded herself, slow breaths.
“Movie tomorrow?” Kara said, opening the balcony door as Lena stepped inside. “You mentioned Interstellar-”
“Oh, I- I can’t,” Lena said. I guess I should bring this up at some point, she thought nervously. “I have a date.”
“Oh,” Kara said, and Lena noted her surprise as the kryptonian’s eyes darted between her own. “You met someone?”
Lena swallowed. “An ex.”
“Jack?”
“Turns out he’s married on this Earth,” Lena said, glancing down. “I’m going on a date with Andrea, actually.”
Kara froze, a long pause causing Lena to shift uncomfortably in return. It doesn’t mean she has a problem with it, Lena told herself. She’s just processing new information.
“But- she betrayed you?” Kara said, her voice cracking slightly.
Lena’s shoulders relaxed a little, realizing that Kara’s pause was just confusion. I thought I told her enough about Andrea helping me with Newfoundland to clear that up? “We’re not fighting anymore, Kara,” Lena said, looking Kara in the eye again. “I forgave her.”
Kara held her gaze for a moment longer, before turning away. “I hope you have a good time,” she said softly.
There was a familiarity when Lena met Andrea’s lips again, as the other woman tugged Lena down on top of her.
What was the old adage? The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Logistics of their current position aside, Lena thought she could give it a try when Andrea asked her out.
Lena knew she was falling to wishful thinking - after all, dating James hadn’t helped her get over Kara. But there had once been something real between her and Andrea, her and Jack. If she went back to someone she had been with before Kara had ever entered her life, maybe she could reignite the spark. Remember what it was like to want someone else.
She expected dinner to be awkward and strange, but she found herself laughing at the old stories Andrea shared. Despite the Crisis, it seemed many of their Mount Helena memories were intact, and for a couple hours, Lena - awash in nostalgia - didn’t think of Kara at all.
But that all changed when she found herself on top of Andrea, trying to force herself to feel what she just couldn’t feel. Not anymore.
It was Andrea who broke the kiss, panting, looking up at Lena with far too much understanding. “Lena…”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Andrea whispered. “We don’t have to do this.”
“Rotate the horseshoe mount 90 degrees,” Lena shouted, forgetting that she didn’t have to. Despite Kara’s hover a few stories up - holding a giant chunk of metal - she could hear Lena just fine all the same.
“Like this?” Kara shouted back, holding the u-shaped piece of metal above the mount below.
“Perfect!”
Kara gingerly lowered the metal to the telescope base, giving it a shake to check for sturdiness. “I think we’re good!” she said, before floating back to the ground.
“This is amazing. You’re amazing,” Lena said, pulling Kara in for a tight hug, leaving a small kiss on her cheek.
Kara blushed and smiled, casting Lena a gentle look. “Just in time for sunset,” Kara said. “Ready for dinner?”
“Of course.”
The lab space and visitor center would still need to be built once the telescope was up - and with those would include amenities, like a microwave and a solar-powered generator - but for the time, Kara’s heat vision would be enough. She warmed up the Chinese food she had packed (though the potstickers had disappeared shortly after they arrived), and handed off the container and a water bottle to Lena as they took their seats on the floor outside to watch the sunset.
Conversation flew by as it always did, the two eagerly awaiting the night sky as it began to appear in the dusk. What could be seen in National City simply couldn’t compare to the galaxy in the middle of the desert - and it took Lena’s breath away each time. “I can’t wait to get the mirror installed,” Kara said, talking about the last piece of the telescope project. “This is going to be so cool when it’s working.”
Lena admitted that there was an uncomfortable tension in her stomach. She had thought Kara would ask her about her date with Andrea, but it became clear that Kara wasn’t going to. Of course she wouldn’t, she’s not interested in me that way, Lena thought to herself. She’s just letting me live my life.
But Lena shook it off. There was something else that had been gnawing at her. “I don’t want to push you,” Lena said. “But I was thinking… have you talked to Alex about coming out? The world is more supportive than it was a few years ago. Because of you, I might add.”
Kara shrugged. “Someday the world gets there. I know supers live openly in the future,” she said. “But now? I mean, I’ve been reporting on myself for years.”
“Cat and Snapper made you get multiple sources most of the time,” Lena said. “Some people will be angry, but I think a lot of people will understand. Especially with all the good you’ve done.”
Kara sat quietly.
“And I could help,” Lena said gently. “I’ve- I’ve done the media anger circuit before.”
Kara sighed, pulling her knees to her chest, placing her chin down. “It’s… it’s not really about that. I know it ends badly.”
“What do you mean?”
Kara glanced over at Lena, searching her eyes as she tried to figure out what to say. “I saw… my future. If I revealed myself. It didn’t go well.”
“How did you see your future?” Lena asked curiously.
Kara nibbled nervously at her lip. “Remember that imp I talked about? That we helped when you were in Newfoundland?”
“Yes?”
“He… helped me before. Let me try different things in my timeline, if I wanted to reset it. Showed me what my future would be if I…” Kara turned away, shrugging. “I just know it goes wrong. None of you will be safe if people know who I am.”
“Kara-”
“It’s fine, Lena.”
Lena was a Luthor.
It’s not like this endeavor required much subterfuge anyway. Kara had already given the Fortress computer permission to provide Lena with information - meant for the times when Lena would be looking for information while Kara was in the armory - and Lena’s portal watch took care of transportation. So…
“LENA LUTH-OR,” the computer bellowed.
“Fortress,” Lena said, “I need all the information about any fifth-dimensional imps who may have made contact with Kara Zor-El.”
“Kara Zor-El has made known contact with two imps,” the computer repeated. “Most recently, Princess Nyx-”
“Skip her.”
“The other is Mxyzptlk. Former foe-”
“Foe?” Lena asked, alarmed.
“Mxyzptlk attempted to forcibly marry Kara Zor-El,” the computer repeated. “However, Kara Zor-El successfully foiled his attempt. He has since made his amends.”
Lena glanced up at the screen, reading the two names in quiet thought. “Thank you.”
This is dumb, this is dumb, this is so fucking dumb, this can’t be a good idea-
Lena paced in her apartment, running her hand nervously through her hair, mulling over whether she wanted to summon this mysterious Mxyzptlk. I want answers, she thought. How can he really see every conceivable future? Just seems like bullshit-
“Need something?” came a voice.
Lena startled, turning to find a… strange man in her living room. “Who the hell are- oh.”
“Yeah,” he said, shrugging.
“The Fortress said your name.”
“Yes.”
“Did Nyxly-”
“Not from the Phantom Zone.”
“Okay,” Lena said, shaking. “Well, I’m Lena-”
“I know who you are,” Mxy said, almost smirking. “And you presumably know who I am. So why did you summon me here?”
Lena swallowed hard. May as well cut to the chase. “Kara… wants to tell the world who she is,” Lena said. “But she’s convinced that it’ll result in everyone’s deaths.”
“Oh,” Mxy said, eyes widening. “I, uh… huh.”
“Can you really see into the future?” Lena said. “Because my understanding is that that’s not an exact science.”
“Yeah, I suppose I should tell her about that,” Mxy said, mulling. “In my defense, I was trying to make her feel better. It was the most obvious way.”
“... lying to her?”
“I’m not sure I see your point.”
Lena sighed. Trickster imps. “But you’ll tell her the truth?”
“Yeah, I’ll do that now,” Mxy said, raising his hand. But just before he snapped his fingers, he paused. “Did she ever tell you why she tried to reset reality?”
Lena tilted her head curiously. “To see what would happen if she revealed herself?”
Mxy smiled. “Something like that.” But before Lena could ask further, he snapped his fingers - and was gone.
Kara trembled as she took a seat at her couch, mulling over Mxy’s words before he left. It wasn’t real?, she thought to herself.
She could still see the newspaper scroll - Eliza, and Alex, and Cat, all dead from the murderous Children of Liberty. She could still feel Lena in her arms, panting in fear as she fell out of the metal cocoon meant to kill her. None of that was real, Kara thought.
For the past year, she had been haunted by nightmares. That one day she might make a mistake, and the world would find out who she was. She loved being Supergirl, helping the world with her strange gifts - but to know that a single slip would be hunting season on everyone she loved? It felt like too much to carry at times.
But now she knew it didn’t have to be that way.
She wasn’t sure she wanted to tell everyone. But a burden had been lifted. Kara smiled softly, thinking about how Lena had somehow been able to summon Mxy. How the brunette sought to give Kara the option. Something warm twinged in Kara’s heart.
Kara glanced down at her hands, mulling over the last burden she carried, centered on the brunette. A small part of her lamented - if only she had known Lena could love a woman, if only she had known that Lena could even love someone who had once betrayed her - but Kara smiled, too. Because now she could imagine a different life. Maybe not the one she wanted, but one that was no longer weighed down by what she had to hide. What would life look like if she could be honest?
Maybe I don’t need to carry anymore secrets, Kara thought. Even if all we ever do is gaze at stars.
“Perfect!” Lena shouted.
Kara breathed a sigh of relief as she lifted her hands from the 5,000lb mirror. “It’s set!” she said excitedly, as she drifted back to the ground. “The telescope should be fully operational!”
She could hear Lena scuffling in the lab room, murmuring 63 degrees declination and tapping at her keyboard. Kara heard the gentle whirr of motors as the telescope began to shift. “What are you looking at?”
Lena smiled, gesturing for Kara to sit in the observation chair as the telescope halted. “You tell me,” Lena said.
Kara leaned forward, hovering over the eyepiece, before smiling. “Argo,” she murmured, glancing up at Lena.
Kara gestured, and Lena found herself in Kara’s lap - with the lab still under construction, there was only one chair - peering into the telescope. She supposed it should’ve been odd… but after all the times Kara carried her out to the observatory, or even all the times she had ended up in Kara’s lap during a particularly crowded game night, it felt surprisingly natural. So they sat, taking turns peering into space, enjoying the stars.
“How did you learn Mxy’s name?” Kara eventually whispered.
Lena could feel herself blush. “I didn’t think he would mention me,” she murmured. “I- I found his name in the Fortress. I don’t mean to push, Kara. I just wanted you to know that the option was open. If it’ll make you happy.”
Kara nodded. “Maybe I will. Someday. I just need time to think about it. The nightmares aren’t easy to shake, even if I know they might not be real.”
Lena smiled, and curled up in Kara’s lap, resting her head on her shoulder as Kara’s arms wrapped around her. “Why did you try to tell the world who you were? With Mxy?”
She felt Kara stiffen beneath her.
“Are you okay?” Lena asked worriedly.
“I’m fine, I just…” Kara hesitated.
Lena was about to ask again when Kara began to shuffle. Lena jumped to her feet, and Kara stood, pacing across the room. Lena recognized the impulse - it was the same that Kara had during the Pulitzer, as she crossed the room, murmuring anxiously under her breath before telling Lena the truth. “Kara? What’s going on?”
Kara turned.
She’s nervous, Lena realized, taking a couple steps towards her, but the blonde backed away. Lena halted in place, uncertain.
“When I wished on Rao,” Kara said, looking Lena in the eye. “I wished for you.”
For me?, Lena wondered, her eyes widening. “And you’re saying- with Mxy, the do-over-”
Kara’s eyes dropped to the floor. “I tried to fix us. I’ve loved you for so long. I just didn’t want to lose you.”
A small smile appeared on Lena’s lips as Kara’s words washed over her. She loves me, Lena thought, as she stepped closer to the blonde again. Kara continued to stare at the floor, but she didn’t falter, didn’t back away. When Lena finally reached her, she held up a hand, caressing Kara’s face as the startled kryptonian looked back up at her. Lena took in the deep blues that gazed nervously back, knowing that her next words would make the kryptonian smile. “When I wished on stars,” Lena said, “I wished for you too.”
It was a Friday night as Lena packed food into a small picnic basket - potstickers, and wine, mugs for their hot cocoa - when she heard the small double-tap on the balcony.
She glanced up, finding the blonde smiling as she walked through the door, and Lena felt a warmth in her chest. There was a lightness in Kara’s step - even for one who could fly. In the end, Kara had decided not to rush into the decision to reveal her identity. But knowing that she could, knowing that it wouldn’t spell a certain doom for everyone she loved, lightened the weight on her shoulders. And for that, Lena was glad.
Kara picked up the basket, planting a small kiss on Lena’s lips in greeting - that, despite its briefness, was still so novel to make Lena’s head spin. Breaking apart, the couple made their way outside as the balcony door clicked behind them. Lena nodded as Kara picked her up in a sweeping motion, and she wrapped her arms around Kara’s neck.
“Ready?” Kara said.
“Ready,” Lena answered.
And they took off into the night.