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"It is good to see you again, Sam. Even if your body is not the same as it once was," Optimus had said back then. Used those words to suffocate whatever else he wanted to say, wanted to do, now that Sam stood in front of him once more. Alive and well.
Sam had smiled up at him. The new metal plates of his body had caught the setting sun. It had painted his gray and black frame in tones of orange and red. Just as it had highlighted the letters on his frame that only Optimus could read now. "It's good to be back."
There had not been any more words spoken between them back then. There simply was no need to. Just a comfortable silence as they enjoyed just being in one another's presence again.
Optimus could not describe how much he had missed being with Sam like this. There had always been something to the once-human. Some sort of tranquility, a peace that always helped greatly in calming Optimus - if they were allowed such a luxury.
An effect that had only gotten stronger, now that Sam was a Cybertronian.
He obviously had not mastered control over many aspects of his new body yet. And as much as Optimus was more than willing to help him master every aspect he could, he found himself reluctant to help Sam regulate his EM-field properly, to dampen those pure and beautiful emotions he radiated.
Not when it meant that Sam felt like a miniature sun next to him. Sam's happiness, his relief, his own comfort to be in Optimus' presence - all filled Optimus with a warmth that reached even the darkest corners of his processor. It made Optimus feel at home like very little else had after the war began, and twisted Cybertron until it could barely be called such.
And then, there was the purest emotion of them all. One that made Optimus want to close the distance between them and curl around Sam protectively.
Love.
Pure love.
Far more, far purer, than anything Optimus deserved after all these years.
It was a form of affection that had been frowned upon to display in public as Sam did now. Rules, regulations and social expectations had them all mute their emotions until they were but a muted gray mush. The war hadn't helped. Any emotion freely shown was taken advantage of from either side.
Maybe now that could change.
They were alone again, as they had been so many times after that first reunion. Sam had decided to lay on the ground, and look up into the depths of space as the universe passed them by. Optimus joined him.
Despite his processing prowess, Optimus found it difficult to remember the last time he had done something like this. To simply relax, and be reminded of how small he was compared to everything else out there. Such a stark contrast to his every waking moment, when he was reminded of his status as a Prime over and over again.
Beside him, Sam relaxed completely. His EM-field started radiating that blissful mixture of emotions once more. The same mixture Optimus slowly found himself growing addicted to.
This time, though...
This time, Optimus wanted to let Sam know. No matter how hard it was to let his emotions flow freely after all these circles.
It was a painfully slow process. One after another, he removed filters and programs he had put in place in order to protect himself and those he considered his. He turned his optics to Sam as he removed the last one, and let some of the love he held for Sam flow through.
Optimus not only saw but also felt the exact moment when Sam's sensors picked up on the change. The constant buzzing of his happiness was replaced by curiosity. His head tilted as if to absorb more, his processor running through possibilities of what exactly he was feeling. Curiosity turned into confusion.
Until realization hit.
Sam hesitantly turned to Optimus. His optics wide in disbelief, yet oddly hopeful. "What is that?"
"It is my EM-field. We Cybertronians use it to better convey our true feelings."
"And what...," Sam trailed off, still unsure.
Optimus resisted the urge to get closer. "What you're feeling right now is my love for you."
"Oh... I-" Sam sat up. Optimus felt his happiness but also the restlessness. Sam had always needed to be moving to help guide his mind to where he needed it to be. Even now, Optimus heard parts folding and unfolding, clicks that served no other purpose other than to help Sam think.
"I...," Sam sucked in air. "I love you too."
Optimus smiled at him as he sat up as well. "I know. I have felt it from your EM-field every second we were together."
Sam ran a servo over his helm. "Then why didn't you say anything? Why now?"
"Because I did not want to overwhelm you. After all, you have not been a Cybertronian for long."
A sinking feeling fluttered across Sam's EM-field.
"Is that it...? Do you only love me because I'm a Cybertronian now?"
"No," Optimus was quick to cut in. He projected an aura of comfort. Lifted his right servo to cup Sam's face, caressed the plates that copied Sam's human face as best as they could. "No, while my feelings have only grown with time, they are not dependent on what species you are. To me, you have always been beautiful."
With his free servo he took a hold of one of Sam's and settled it over his spark chamber. Over the life that Optimus had been willing to give to protect Sam. Over the life Sam had returned to him. Over the Matrix of Leadership Sam had sacrificed everything to get to him.
"Even more so in all those places only I know about."
A mixture of embarrassment and awe surrounded Optimus before it faded back into that blissful mix Optimus loved to let himself get lost in. He sent out another pulse of love as Sam relaxed into him further.
"It's unfair how good you are at talking yourself out of situations."
"It is a skill I worked hard to acquire, I assure you." Optimus smiled at Sam. He intertwined their digits above his spark.
"What do Cybertronians do show affections?"
"Many things, all meant for a different kind of bond. Though, the one they all have in common across is resting one's helms together." Optimus used his hold on Sam's face to pull him closer and do just that.
A small shock of electricity ran between them as metal met metal. Sam sucked in air in surprise as their EM-fields overlapped. It got impossible to pin down who projected which emotion, as they all became one, for however briefly.
"And... what about between lovers?"
Optimus slid his servo down Sam's frame. Caressed the hard edges and softer curves that made up Sam's chest plates. Settled it on Sam's hip to coax the younger closer. "Most of them can only be performed once both parties have decent enough control over their frames to not cause injuries."
"But?"
"But there is one that I am certain you are quite familiar with."
"And what would that be?"
Instead of answering, Optimus tilted his helm and caught Sam's lips with his. Vulnerable plates slid across each other. Edges got caught on one another and pulled painfully at plates, causing both of them to let out pleasured groans.
Hearing such a noise from Sam, Optimus could not help but to project more of the love, of his desire for Sam. To show Sam more than just a glimpse of the effect Sam had on him during all those years Optimus had spent pining for him. Wanting, waiting, yet knowing that his affections would most likely never be returned. A future he had dreaded so much, but one he had been prepared to accept.
A future that thankfully never came to pass.
Optimus could have remained like that for eternity. Just savoring the feeling of Sam's lips against his own. Maybe he would have as well, hadn't Sam's cooling fans gotten loud enough for Optimus to hear. It was a clear sign of overstimulation, Sam's processor not yet adapted to how many impressions Optimus exposed him to. Reluctantly, Optimus detangled whatever plates were still caught on one another as he created some space between them.
He looked at Sam, burned the look on Sam's face into his processor. How he desperately cooled himself down. How his optics were dimmed to reduce the amount of stimulation they picked up. How one digit came up to trace his own lips in awe. Optimus had done that. All those years of fantasizing paled in comparison to the real thing.
Sam let out a low sigh. "I can see what you mean about overwhelming me. That was... a lot. Great, but too much." Sam tilted his head as if listening to the sound of his own processor working.
"We can take things as slow as you need to." Optimus rested their helms together, even as he filtered his EM-field more thoroughly again. "We have all the time in the universe to do so."
Sam hummed. "That sounds nice." After pressing a quick kiss to Optimus' cheek, Sam laid back down on the ground. "Just feels weird. Like I'm a 16-year-old virgin all over again."
Optimus wisely kept his processor and vocalizer in check. He laid down beside Sam, this time with no space left between them. "You will get used to your new body in time. And I will help you with whatever you need," Optimus promised.
"You might need to start with that EM-field. I can't believe you all let me send out my emotions on full blast for that long."
"We all enjoyed feeling them. Projecting one's emotions freely like that was only ever done behind closed doors around family, and even then, only truly around sparklings. Rarely around friends. It is a sign of trust, just as it is a sign of home. I am certain the others did not mean any harm by it, we all have merely been too caught up in finally feeling at peace again. You have helped us a lot since we first met. Even now, you are the one who makes us feel the most at home."
After a few long moments of Sam not saying anything in return, Optimus turned away from the stars far above to him, only to find Sam's optics already focused on him. Optimus felt Sam's EM-field ripple with realization and reverence.
"There you go again, talking yourself out of situations," Sam muttered. He turned back to the stars. "Maybe I'll start with something else then...," he trailed off.
His smaller servo slipped into Optimus' own. Smart digits intertwined with his own. Optimus smiled at him before he too turned to the stars again. He let some of the peace he felt brush against Sam, enveloping them in a calm bliss as they continued to just lay there, and bask in one another's presence.