Chapter Text
What the hell? What the hell! Tony’s brain raced through so many emotions and thought processes at once, he felt like he’d slammed his head into twelve brick walls and was stumbling around like some cartoon character with stars over his head.
Also, Tony could not stop staring at that arm.
After almost forty years he’d met the guy with the metal arm again! How on—wait! How did he know this was the same guy? Forty years? This guy was mid-twenties to early thirties at most. He couldn’t have been the same person Tony had seen all those years ago.
But the probability of someone having the same arm and on the correct side of his body no less…
And the cut to his cheek…
What the hell!
Tony flexed his fingers. “If you’re my soul mate, why are you still aiming your gun at me, and why did you break into my home?”
The man quirked an eyebrow at Tony. “Why are you still aiming your repulsor at me?”
“I’m not the one who broke into your home!”
“Hurt yourself,” the man demanded.
“What?”
“Your cheek is tingling where I cut mine, correct? Harm yourself now and I’ll take away the pain. That will be enough proof, no?”
Tony stood indecisively in front of the intruder. Because while logic dictated that his soul mate was older, it also said that this man had to be his soul mate. Tony could sense the man’s pain, and the odds of there being another man with a metal arm on his left side was extremely unlikely.
Tony raised his uncovered hand to his mouth. He paused with his fist inches from his lips. His eyes met the stranger’s.
Blue eyes met his in challenge.
Tony bit down hard on his hand.
He felt a spark of pain, only for it to disappear a second later.
The man flexed his hand.
Tony lowered his fist but kept his armed hand up. “Okay, you're my soul mate. What are you doing here? Come to murder me?” Because if this somehow was the same man Tony had seen all those years ago, then there was a real chance that he was talking to a murderer.
The man didn’t answer right away. Instead he cocked his head to the side. His eyes skimmed over Tony briefly. Slowly, he lowered his weapon. “I need sanctuary.”
“And I was the first person you thought to come to? What? No family or friends? Just some stranger?”
The man touched his chest, right where the arc reactor was settled on Tony’s. “A stranger in only some ways.”
“Poetic.” Tony turned his head away for just a second, unwilling to think about the implications of the man’s movement. Tony’s arm dropped by two inches, but he wasn’t ready to lower his weapon just yet.
Suddenly the elevator door burst open and Steve came in with his shield at the ready. “Tony, are you—” Steve choked on what he had to say. “Bucky?”
“Who the hell is Bucky? Unless you’re talking about—” Tony said, just as the mysterious man fired off a shot at Steve.
Steve blocked.
Tony yelped.
The man charged at Tony, grabbed him, and pinned him to his chest before Tony could send off a repulsor blast. The muzzle of the man’s gun brushed Tony’s temple. It was hot from its recent firing, and Tony winced at the burn, only for his pain to fade. He glanced curiously up at his captor.
“Drop your weapon,” the man commanded Steve.
Steve looked like a lost puppy. “Bucky…”
“Drop. Your. Weapon,” the man commanded.
Steve was torn.
Tony raised his gauntleted hand up at the man’s face. “I’ll shoot.”
“You’ll kill us both.”
“Not a bad way to die,” Tony countered.
“Tony, no.” Steve rushed at Tony, lunging for the gauntlet.
The invader shot Steve in the chest.
Tony screamed and reached out for Steve.
Then suddenly there was a dart in his neck and he was falling to the ground.
“Are you shitting me?” Tony exclaimed as he held an ice pack to his neck.
Steve cringed. He glanced at the containment cell that had been built for the Hulk, but was now housing a pissed off James “Bucky” Barnes, or as Natasha liked to call him “Winter Soldier”. Apparently, Tony’s soul mate was a man who was supposed to have died seventy years ago but had somehow ended up in the hands of Hydra and was now one of the top assassins in the world.
Tony would bang his head on a wall if it wasn’t his moneymaker.
Also, Tony was royally pissed at Clint for darting him in the neck. Darting James—Winter—whoever the hell the man was, was one thing, but why Tony? That had clearly been some sort of revenge for all the times Tony had beat Clint at Mario Kart.
“Well?” Tony demanded of his three teammates, two of which were acting like he was freaking out over something minor.
Natasha eyed Bucky—James—Soldier, or whoever he was, like she was trying to solve a puzzle. “The surveillance footage shows that he came to find you.” She glanced at Tony. “He’s your soul mate.”
Tony crossed his arms over his chest. He felt like he was being picked apart by her gaze. “Apparently.”
Clint whistled lowly. “Wow. That’s amazing. No, really. What are the chances of you two ever meeting? He was born in the 1920s and you in the 1970s. He’s supposed to be dead, and you—”
“We all know the backstory,” Tony snapped.
“They made him a weapon,” Natasha said, her eyes glued to James. Her gaze cut to Tony. “You really don’t understand what it means if he came here of his own free will.”
“I know it can’t be anything good,” Tony said.
“Tony, please,” Steve pleaded. “I know this is all very strange, but—”
Tony raised his hand up to silence Steve. “Before you continue that sentence, let me ask you this: what you’re about to say, are you saying it because you truly believe I don’t have a reason to be concerned that an assassin—possibly former—broke into my house? Or are you saying it because he is your friend?”
Steve straightened. Anger flashed through his eyes, and suddenly it was “Captain America” and not “Steve Rogers.” “I’m saying you should come at this with an open mind, because at this point we don’t have all of the facts, and there is the very real possibility that he needs our help.”
“And if he doesn’t,” Clint piped in, “then he still has information on Hydra.”
“A terrorist group that Steve and I are only now just learning is still in existence even though it was supposed to have been destroyed decades ago.” Tony looked pointedly at Clint and Natasha.
Clint raised his hands. “Hey, first time I’ve heard anything about them actually still existing. I’ve only heard rumors and conspiracy theories until now.”
“And what’s your excuse?” Tony aimed at Natasha.
“I’m on Tony’s side with this one,” Steve said.
Natasha studied them before she answered. “It’s almost impossible to destroy such a large group. There will always be people who believe in that group’s values. Just look at other hate and terrorists groups. Just because a few extremists pledge themselves to an organization doesn’t mean they are a real threat.”
“Considering these Hydra leftovers have the number one assassin on their side, I think they’re a real threat.”
“Had,” Natasha corrected. She stepped up to Tony and stared him down. “Talk to him.”
“I have nothing to say.”
“He is your soul mate, and whether or not that means something to you; it means something to him if he came here to find you.”
“And what if that is what he wants? Make me trust him then kill me or one of you?” Tony turned to Steve. “If he really does work for Hydra then you’re probably his real target. We can’t let you near him.”
The corner of Steve’s mouth twinged. “I think I can handle myself.”
“Says the guy who got shot in the chest.” Tony patted Steve on the chest; he could feel the bandage under Steve’s shirt where the bullet hole was covered.
“The bullet missed.”
“Barely.”
“You’re too emotional,” Natasha aimed at Steve. “Tony may be James’ soul mate, but he’s paranoid enough that he will keep his guard up, unlike you, Steve.” Her face softened with compassion. “It is obvious you care about him. He will use that against you.”
“You’re acting like he’s our enemy when a moment ago you were fighting for him,” Steve stated. “What is your goal here, Romanoff?”
“If he broke his programming then I want to support him, but until we can be sure, I’m not letting my guard down. None of us should.”
“I’m with Nat on this,” Clint said. “I trust her with this.”
Steve’s fists clenched. He swallowed down his words and casted a frustrated and longing look at his once best friend. “I want to help him.”
“And we will, but not until we know his mental state. The only way to do that is to engage with him.” Natasha turned to Tony.
Tony held up his hand to stop her from speaking. “I know what you’re going to say. I’m the one he came for, so he’s only going to talk to me, which means I get to hang out in the Hulk’s play pen with him. Yay, but I’m not going in there unprotected.”
“Any weapons you bring in there he can use against you,” Clint said.
“Not my gauntlet; it’s programmed for only me. I think I want a protective vest too, just in case we missed a weapon.”
“We didn’t,” Steve insisted.
“One of the world’s deadliest assassins? If he doesn’t have a weapon, I’m pretty sure he can make do.”
Tony swallowed hard as the door to the Hulk’s cell slid open.
James lifted his head and glared at the gauntlet on Tony’s hand.
The door slipped shut behind Tony.
“Starting to regret finding me?” Tony wiggled his gauntleted fingers in an imitation of a flirty greeting.
Even though James was the one in the more vulnerable position, he watched Tony with a deep intensity that shook Tony’s nerves.
“You should fear me,” James answered.
Tony stopped in the middle of the cell. “Come again?”
“You have no reason to trust me, outside of me being your soul mate.”
“Is this reverse psychology?”
The corner of James’ mouth quirked up. “I’ve killed many people. Sometimes even in rooms like this. Seemingly no weapon around. You just have to get creative.”
Tony’s throat went dry. “Yeah. Been there, done that. Kind of how I became Iron Man.”
James eyes flickered past Tony to the three Avengers who were watching the proceedings from outside. His blue eyes returned to Tony. “Was that during the three months?”
Tony’s heart stopped and he inhaled sharply. He’d only spoken about his time in Afghanistan in the broadest of terms. He could still remember being in a hazy state as his chest was cut into, adding to the pain of shrapnel clawing its way through his chest. It had been more agonizing than the first time he’d taken on James’ pain. Then suddenly it had stopped and what he felt was just the insertion of metal in his chest, of his skin and muscles being pushed and rearranged. It hadn’t hurt.
He had also felt the tingling sensation across his skull that he’d opened himself to many times in the past. He’d welcomed it then. The lancing, burning pain in his skull had distracted him from his chest being torn open.
It had hurt, but at least it was a familiar pain—almost comforting really.
There had been weeks during those three months in which his body had ached and hurt terribly. Then there would be weeks in which he felt blissfully strong. Those were the weeks when James had taken on his pain.
Looking back on it, their pain-sharing had been far more intimate than Tony had realized. James knew in deep detail what kind of torture Tony had gone through.
And if James hadn’t been an assassin that had spent decades working for a terrorist group, Tony might have just crumpled right there on the floor and hugged James.
The silence between them was heavy and poignant.
Tony couldn’t stand it.
“What do you want?”
James stared dead ahead.
Tony scowled. “Say something. You already said ‘sanctuary’ before. What other reason do you have, because you can’t honestly expect me to believe that you would risk your life on the off chance that I’d help you out when we don’t even know each other.”
James frowned, his stare going inward. “I’m not sure. No one has asked me what I want before.”
“No one?”
James shook his head. “I am—I was just a weapon. I am human now.”
Tony scoffed. “Maybe we should put you in a dunce hat, because in case you missed it: you’re human. Except for maybe that arm of yours.” Tony eyed the appendage. There was a lot of damage at James’ elbow. He wondered what the story was behind that.
“In flesh, but not in mind.” Once again those icy blue eyes stabbed Tony in the soul and held him in place. “Not in mind until you. You were kind to me when no one else was. You took my pain when I didn’t take yours. Even now you do.” James touched his left shoulder.
Tony flinched. He stopped himself from touching his shoulder. He was so used to the constant thrum of pain, he’d forgotten for a moment that the source of it was sitting in front of him.
James Barnes.
His soul mate.
Who would have ever imagined?
“Natasha said Hydra made you a weapon too.” Tony sat down in front of James and crossed his legs. “Mind telling me about it?”
James smiled, an expression that was dark and twisted. “Very well.”
James was intriguing.
He didn’t push for Tony to trust him. He didn’t play up the fact that he was Tony’s soul mate; although, he didn’t go out of his way to avoid the topic either. He spoke simply and curtly, which at times made him sound poetic. He revealed Hydra’s secrets like he was talking about the weather. When he dropped the bombshell about Hydra agents in SHIELD, Steve and Natasha had gone racing off to Fury.
It had been weeks since then and Fury was still hacking and burning away the traitors in his agency—not literally; although, Tony did wonder.
James had also been held captive for over a month and Steve was chomping at the bit to get him out of Hulk’s cell and into a proper room.
It irked Tony how pushy Steve was being, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to let James out and watch how the man interacted with the world.
James certainly wouldn’t be spending any time with Steve. He scowled every time Steve referred to him as Bucky.
Tony had inquired about a name once, but James response had been: “I don’t need one.”
“Well, I need you to have one. I don’t like referring to you as 'former assassin' in my head,” Tony had half-lied. Yes, he thought of James as a former assassin, but ‘James’ was what Tony referred to him as in his head.
“Then don’t.” James had shrugged.
“So what? Do I call you ‘soul mate?’”
“If you like.”
Yeah, Tony had not enjoyed that conversation. He’d still take it over the ones in which James described in detail what Hydra had put him through.
Tony never would have guessed that all those times he’d taken on that blackout inducing pain in his skull that his soul mate had been strapped to a chair that was wiping away his memories.
James eyes as he told that story though…
His blue eyes had been filled with so much wonder and adoration for Tony that Tony had found himself choking down words. James showed very few emotions, even when in Tony’s presence. That had been the first time James had been so open and displayed something so positive that it had stolen every word and oxygen atom from Tony’s lungs.
It was the first time Tony experienced a moment devoid of any doubt about James’ intentions.
There had been several moments since then.
It was why Tony was so torn about whether or not James should be allowed to roam Avengers Tower freely.
“You are stressed,” James’ voice interrupted Tony’s thoughts.
They were seated across from each other. Their knees brushed.
Tony no longer wore his gauntlet during his visits with James.
“And how would you know that I am stressed?” Tony smiled, playing coy so as to hide his inner turmoil.
James’ flesh hand twitched as if he wanted to touch Tony. Instead he brought his hand up and bent forward so Tony could see his neck and spine. James traced his finger down the base of his skull to where his shoulders met below his neck. “I feel your pain here.” James straightened.
He stared imploringly at Tony.
Tony looked away. “Just a lot on my mind.” He rubbed his left shoulder. “I could upgrade your arm, you know? I’m an engineer and one of the best. I could make you an arm that is more lightweight. One that doesn’t cause you as much pain.”
“Don’t you mean it will cause you less pain?”
“Us,” Tony corrected. “It will cause us less pain.”
“Tony, don’t let this affect what you’ve accomplished so far,” Natasha spoke softly as blue holo screens danced between her and Tony. “He’s getting better. What he did was because—”
“Of the programming, I know!” Tony snapped. He turned his back on Natasha and hunched over one of the desks in his lab. Tony slammed his fist on the table, sending papers and loose screws flying and rolling away. He slumped. “Just…give me time to process.”
Natasha frowned, but nodded her head. Her footsteps were silent as she left Tony to mourn.
Tony sighed and turned around to face the holo screens.
A Hydra file found hidden in SHIELD’s database displayed a picture of his parents’ car crash and a picture of James in Winter Soldier attire.
Tony slumped against his desk and fell to the floor.
“Why didn’t you tell me you had killed them?” Tony demanded of James.
James stared at his lap, lost. “I didn’t know how.”
Tony stormed off.
Tony spent over seventy-two hours locked in his lab. JARVIS and Steve had done everything short of bombing the door to get Tony out and into an actual bed.
His hands were covered in burns from wielding a soldering iron without proper protection and while sleep-deprived.
He didn’t feel any pain though.
Tony stumbled into the tiny room located on Steve’s floor (someone had decided to move James while he’d been locked away).
James grabbed Tony by the collar of his shirt and appeared to be about to deck him and throw him when he realized Tony was the one who had entered his room.
Tears gathered in Tony’s eyes and he glared at James.
James bowed his head. He cupped Tony’s hands in his and rubbed his thumbs over the burns and scars there.
For five minutes they just stood there in silence.
Finally exhaustion hit and Tony collapsed into James’ arms.
Tony woke in a stranger’s bed.
His eyelids fluttered open, and he looked around the slightly familiar room. He knew he was the one who had designed it, but some of the décor had been altered. The blankets and sheets were a calm blue where they should have been white. Or were they supposed to be gray? He couldn’t remember.
James was propped up against the side of the bed. His eyes were closed, but his body was ready to spring at a moment’s notice.
Tony sighed.
James slowly turned his head and looked at Tony.
Tony nuzzled the pillow under his head. “Morning.”
“Morning.”
Silence.
“I built a new arm while I was in the lab. It’s much better. Want to upgrade?”
James nodded cautiously.
“Good.” Tony yawned and closed his eyes. “I’m going to sleep some more. Don't let anyone attack while I’m resting.”
There was a beat of silence, then: “As you wish.”
James flexed his new metal arm and scrutinized it.
Tony beamed.
His left shoulder felt twenty times better.
James glanced at Tony. “May I feel it?”
“Feel what?”
“The pain. It’s so much lighter… I’m curious.”
Tony hesitated. “You sure? I’ve been taking on that pain for a long time now. You think you can handle it?”
James smiled softly. “I think it’s my turn to take on the burden.”
Tony shrugged. “Okay. Just remember: you asked for it.”
Tony rejected James’ pain, and suddenly it felt like he had no arm at all. It had been so long since he’s allowed James to feel the pain of his shoulder that Tony had forgotten what his shoulder was supposed to feel like without it. “Wow.” He touched his shoulder.
James grin grew as he touched his shoulder too. “Wow.”
“Someone is targeting you?” James demanded to know. He had Tony slightly pinned to a wall; he sometimes forgot what was considered rude/seen as intimidating.
Tony squared his shoulders and met James’ furious look with one of ambivalence. “It’s just some crazy old coot named Mandarin.”
“He’s threatening you.” James’ voice went ice cold.
Tony sighed and patted James’ bicep. “Calm down, tiger. I got it under control.”
James scowled.
Tony smiled. “What? Don’t trust me?”
“No.”
Tony blinked, having not expected the answer.
James grumbled. He wrapped his hand behind Tony’s neck and pulled Tony’s head toward his.
Tony sharply sucked in a lungful of air. It looked like James was about to kiss him. Tony had no idea if that was a good or a bad thing. James was his soul mate, but there were still so many—
James pressed their foreheads together.
Oh. That was nice too.
James closed his eyes and breathed in deep. “I don’t trust you not to hurt yourself. I have forty years worth of knowledge to back up my worry.”
Tony huffed. “I can say the same about you.”
The smallest smile curled James’ lips. “Then we are in agreement. We must stay together and protect each other.” James raised his head, and his lips brushed across Tony’s forehead. “ Moya dusha. ”
James pulled away.
Tony gaped. “Did you just...?”
James smirked.
“Are you sure you weren’t sent to kill me?”
“If I was, it will be the sweetest death I have ever given someone.”
The circuits in Tony’s brain overloaded. “I have no idea whether what you just said is sweet or creepy.”
James just smiled and held out his hand. “Together?”
Tony eyed James’ hand before taking it in his own. “Together.”