Chapter Text
Lan Xichen was never too fond of the ocean or boats. He was always afraid of what could be underneath the seemingly calm surface, but today it was almost a relief to see just how fathomless and dark the waters could be. He could go down for ages and ages and no one would ever find him again. He takes the last swig from a bottle and throws it in the water. Then he takes a deep breath, feeling the cold rails against his hands and the sea breeze blowing in his face. He looks up at the sky, letting the warm sun kiss his skin, and lets go.
His body falls in the air before it crashes into the cold water. The impact stings his face and body and the cold chases away any warmth left in him. The water takes him down and Lan Xichen can only stare up into the surface. Pillars of light surround him as he looks up to the surface, the bleak dark waters temporarily illuminated by the sun’s rays. He wonders what his uncle would say. What about his brother? Would they mourn, would they be…relieved? That they didn’t have such a burden to take care of anymore. What would his brother’s face look like at his funeral? What would people think? What would he leave behind?
Is this all that his life amounted to?
.
.
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What would his uncle say?
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What would his brother do?
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.
Suddenly he’s back in his childhood home. There’s freshly laid snow and Lan Xichen is walking hand in hand with his younger brother. A-Zhan looks up with wide big eyes and asks, “When will we see mama again?”
Lan Xichen is suddenly flooded with regret and fear. His lungs start to burn but he can feel his body start to kick. He starts to claw up to the surface, but it feels like he’s swimming through molasses.
It’s strange that just as he’s about to enter the cusp of death, he’s reinvigorated with the will to live.
Too little too late. A phrase that seemed to follow my life. He thinks morosely as the edges of his vision darken. Just when the light seems dimmest, a streak of purple fills his vision and strong arms wrap around him.
He wakes to air forcibly entering his lungs and he feels himself hacking up salt water. His throat burns but his body is greedily gulping in air. The sun seems too bright, and the saltwater stings his eyes.
“Take it slow.” A raspy deep voice rumbles. There’s a hand rubbing his back soothingly as he’s coughing and gasping for air. Lan Xichen flops onto his back again as he tries to calm his breath and racing heart.
“You okay?” a voice asks. Lan Xichen felt his head swim. The alcohol he consumed still coursing in his veins making him feel dizzy. His eyes stung and he placed his hand over them to keep the sunlight out.
Lan Xichen lets out a hoarse “Yes.” then asks, “Am I alive?”
“Yes you’re alive. Dragged you out myself.”
Lan Xichen takes his hand off his face and tries to blink away the stinging water, but his vision still blurs and his head is still dizzy from the alcohol and near death experience. He can only make out dark hair cascading over pale shoulders and piercing blue eyes. In the corner of his eyes, he sees the sparkling flash of purple and a flipper on the sand.
“I thought mermaids sung after they rescued someone.” He says stupidly.
There’s an almost incredulous huff above him, but even more surprising is a voice that sings,
“Ahaaah Ahaaah don’t you fucking die on me here or I’ll kick your ass back to the sea~.”
For the first time in a long while, Lan Xichen laughs. It’s starts off choked, unsure and unused, but it only takes a second for him to start laughing. Loud and unencumbered.
There’s an indignant sputter above him, but Lan Xichen continues to laugh at the whole ordeal. The emotions roll through him like the unending waves, and he starts to cry and sob in agony over…everything. He would have missed it all. Missed the feeling of joy and laughter and missed his friends, his family. The sobs grow louder now, and a hand is rubbing his shoulders as he cries.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He kept repeating. The voice didn’t say anything back, but the warm hand on his shoulder keeps him steady. Wave after wave of sobs came out of him, and when it finally ended he whispered, “I’m just a burden. I just make everyone’s life miserable…I even troubled you.”
“You didn’t.”
Lan Xichen laughs sardonically. “Didn’t I?”
“No.” was the firm answer. “You looked like you needed help. So I helped you.”
“…but I wanted to die.” He admits shamefully.
“Maybe in the beginning, but you looked like you were fighting when I saw you.”
“…how did you know?” Lan Xichen asks.
“You were trying to swim for air. And when I saw your face, it looked like you were calling for help.”
“And…you just gave it to me?” Lan Xichen asks.
The voice above him scoffs. “I’m not a dick. I wouldn’t just let someone drown.”
Lan Xichen chuckles a bit. “…no you’re not. But I feel like I am.”
“…why?”
“So many people got hurt. In so many terrible ways, and yet…I’m here crying and feeling terrible. But I―nothing ever happened to me. I didn’t get hurt like they did. So why do I deserve to even…” Lan Xichen chokes on the cry bubbling to his lips. There’s a hand rubbing his shoulder again as he cries.
When they die down again, the voice say, “You were hurt too. You matter too.”
“Do I?”
“Of course…and you can always ask for help too.”
“…I’d feel terrible doing so.” Lan Xichen says quietly.
“They want to.” Was the firm reply.
Lan Xichen chuckles. “How are you so sure?”
“Because they love you.”
Such a straight forward answer, but maybe that straight forward answer was all he needed. A confident simple answer.
He angles his head to try and see his savior, but the sun is blinding, and he can only make out dark long hair and clear eyes before a hand goes over his face.
“Don’t stare at the sun, you’ll hurt your eyes.” The figure says. “We’re losing daylight and I need to get my things so we can get you out of here.”
Lan Xichen wanted to sit up and see his savior properly, but he felt weak and his arms were like jelly. He barely managed to sit up to see long black hair and a glittering purple tail disappear under the waves.
“Was it really a mermaid?” he thinks before he’s hit with a wave of exhaustion and feels himself lie back down and close his eyes to sweet oblivion.
.
.
“-ng Zhang?”
“-chen?”
“―feeling alright?”
“Xichen?”
Lan Xichen gasps awake and blinks the light out of his eye. He’s greeted with his brother and uncle’s face peering worriedly at him.
“Shufu? Wanji?” he rasps.
“Xiong Zhang.” Lan Wanji breathes with relief. “Does anything hurt?”
Lan Xichen takes a moment to feel his body and says, “I think I’m ok. I feel mostly tired and achy.”
His brother nods and his uncle seems to relax the tension in his shoulder. The two look over their shoulder and Lan Xichen nearly freezes when he sees Nie Mingjue and Nie Huisang standing to the side. His friend had a deep frown marring his face as he slowly walks to the bed. His fists are clenched and Nie Huisang is looking worriedly between the two of them.
“Da-ge.” Nie Huisang says quietly.
But Nie Mingjue doesn’t respond, he only glares at Lan Xichen and then the most unexpected thing happened. Tears started to fall from his old friend’s face. He places a strong hand on Lan Xichen’s shoulder and says, “Don’t let that bastard take any more than he already has.”
Lan Xichen could only gap. His mouth not forming sounds. He can only hold Nie Mingjue’s hand and tightly say, “Okay.”
The Nie’s don’t stay too much longer, but they promise to come by his place when he’s discharged. His uncle leaves for a moment to take care of hospital paperwork leaving Lan Xichen with his brother.
The two are silent, but it’s not the usual peaceful silence that normally follows the two. It’s tense and Lan Xichen can see the tension in his little brother’s frame.
“Wanji…” Lan Xichen starts, but his brother cuts him off.
“Do not.” He says.
Lan Xichen feels his mouth click shut. He feels regret that he made his brother an unintentional accomplice in his failed suicide. He isn’t sure if Lan Wanji could ever forgive him.
But he’s surprised again when his younger brother envelops Lan Xichen in a strong hug. “Do not leave.” Lan Wanji says quietly.
Lan Xichen puts a hand on his brother’s head and strokes it. “I won’t. I promise.”
“Mn.”
--
Lan Xichen isn’t kept long in the hospital, but when he’s discharged his doctor, Song Lan, hands him a card.
“If you feel like you need some support, he’s the best in the business and very discrete.” Song Lan says handing Lan Xichen a business card. He takes it and sees the embossed name, “Xiao Xingchen, Ph.D, LMFT – Licensed Therapist”
Lan Xichen holds onto the card tightly and says, “Thank you doctor.”
The man nods and leaves the room when his uncle and brother come back. They drive back to Lan Xichen’s home and his brother says, “I’m staying.”
Lan Xichen only nods and looks around the room. His family must have come by to clean things up. Some pictures are missing, the Ficus tree that used to be in the corner of his living room is replaced with a tall money tree. It’s like they surgically came in to cut out the tumors in his home. It’s relieving in some ways and sad in others to see how much of his life was affected by him. Lan Xichen takes a breath and says, “Thank you. Shufu, Wanji.”
The two of them nod and Shufu bustles into the kitchen to make tea.
Lan Xichen breaths but it still feels like he’s underwater.
--
His uncle stays for two weeks before he has to get back to the academy, but he gives a stern, “Please call, Xichen” before he goes. Lan Xichen promises to call.
The days drag on. It feels like the tide of time is scraping his raw body over sharp rocks. There are days when he feels so heavy he could drown. His brother is there though. Patient, calming. Nie Mingjue comes by sometimes, but it aches to see him sometimes. The uneven footsteps of his friend sometimes feel like daggers to his heart.
Nie Mingjue doesn’t seem to mind as much now, he had gotten used to the prosthetic over time and he’d been able to heal.
Unlike Lan Xichen.
He’s sitting in the living room one day when his brother comes in and places a purple orchid on the coffee table. “From Nie Huisang.” His brother says.
But Lan Xichen is enraptured by the color and is brought back to the cove and the rushing of the tides as the sparkling purple tail disappears into the waves.
“-ang? Xiong Zhang?”
Lan Xichen blinks and turns to his concerned brother.
“Yes, Wanji?” he says.
Lan Wanji frowns. “Is brother okay? Should I return it?”
Lan Xichen shakes his head and touches the purple petals. “No, it’s nice.” He smiles and this time it feels more genuine.
More purple seems to creep into his home after that. Not that Lan Xichen minds. It reminded him of the man? mermaid? and that moment on the beach.
Lan Xichen is fiddling with the keys on the piano one day. It’s easier than sitting next to his guqin or xiao. His brother looks pleased with the improvement.
He’s playing melody. One that’s been rattling in his mind lately. Something that’s taking shape into a song.
“It’s beautiful.” His brother says.
Lan Xichen smiles. “Thank you.”
He pauses.
“Wanji, what do you think of mermaids?”
“…mermaids?”
“Or perhaps I should says mermen.” Lan Xichen ponders out loud.
“Hm fantasy creatures Xiong Zhang.” Lan Wanji says.
Lan Xichen smiles, “Yes perhaps you’re right.”
--
Time moves on as it does. Lan Xichen slowly starts to ease back into his life, with a few changes. Now he sees his therapist every week instead of weekly dinners. Gone were the peonies and golden accents. Now there’s lavender and purple to fill the voids. He’s grateful that his manager and team have been keeping the public and press away from him, but he still feels a little stir crazy inside his home.
“Xiong Zhang…really likes the ocean and fish now.” Lan Wanji says one night they’re having dinner.
Lan Xichen pauses and looks around; his brother is right. Somehow, he’s gathered a sizeable collection of oceanic and aquatic themed things from the small seashells decorating the counters to various books and magazines on the ocean and marine life to the whale plushie on the couch and even the TV background is showing fish swimming in the ocean.
“Ah…I suppose so.” Lan Xichen says sheepishly. “I guess I’ve gotten a better appreciation for it.”
“…is Xiong Zhang interested in marine life?” Lan Wanji asks.
Lan Xichen thinks about it. “I guess so, but I think more than that it gives me a lot of peace to see them swimming around. Although I guess I can only do it from home right now.” He says sadly.
His brother has an odd gleam in his eyes but doesn’t say anything else.
He doesn’t bring it up again until a week later when he suddenly thrusts a card on a lanyard into Lan Xichen’s hands.
“Wanji?” Lan Xichen asks confused.
“The Lotus Pier Aquarium is only a thirty-minute drive from here.” Lan Wanji says. “You are allowed to access it on Mondays and Tuesdays when they are closed to the public and also before and after operating hours.”
“…Wanji?” he dumbly repeats unable to process what his brother is saying.
Lan Wanji doesn’t look annoyed for his part. He only says, “I’ve gotten permission from the aquarium director, Dr. Jiang, and she is more than happy to let you have special access. She’s let the staff know and they are very discrete.”
There’s a pause as Lan Wanji waits for his brother to say something.
Lan Xichen looks at the card, it’s blue with a cartoon beluga on the front and a holographic VIP across it. Then he looks back up to his brother and embraces him tightly.
“Thank you Wanji.”
“Of course, Xiong Zhang.”
--
It takes him a week to gather the courage and resolve to go to the aquarium. Even though he knows the aquarium is closed to the public, it still feels nerve wracking to be out in what is usually a very public place. In his car, he does the grounding exercises his therapist Xiao Xingchen taught him before heaving himself out of the car. Dr. Jiang is waiting for him at the front door with a welcoming and warm smile on her face. Lan Xichen only knew her in passing since his uncle and her parents (may they rest in peace) were friends and she was married to Jin Zixuan, but their paths hardly ever crossed.
(Lan Xichen had always been too busy with Jin Zixuan’s half-brother)
“Mr. Lan, welcome. I’m Dr. Jiang, director of the aquarium and chairman of the Jiang Oceanographic and Marine institute.” She says extending her hand out.
Lan Xichen grasps it and says, “Dr. Jiang, I’m so very grateful that you’ve given me VIP access. I hope I’m not burdening you or your staff members.”
“Not at all.” She says with a smile. “We’ve done it before and I’m sure we’ll continue to do it again. The staff are very aware that certain…public figures would prefer to have access to these wonderful animals away from the public. They’ve all signed non-disclosure agreements and are very discrete.”
“I have no doubt that you and your staff are very reliable.” Lan Xichen says with a smile. “And I can’t thank you enough for your help.”
“It’s no problem. Come let me show you around and I can also show you where the VIP entrance is. Your badge should already be working to get through the doors, and I’ll go over a few ground rules.” Dr. Jiang says, leading the way into the aquarium.
It was a good thing Dr. Jiang was guiding him through the aquarium. The Lotus Pier Aquarium was massive. It hosted one of the largest tanks in the world that holds 3 enormous whale sharks. They also have belugas and dolphins and a wide variety of ocean and fresh water life. But the crowning jewel was their coral exhibit. Their colorful coral garden took up a large space in their aquarium where people can admire the brightly colored organisms and the myriad of sea life surrounding it.
Dr. Jiang guided him through all the exhibits, and they finished with the aquarium’s namesake. Outside was a large lotus pond with a bright purple bridge going over it. It was fragrant with the smell of lotuses and the brightly colored flowers float serenely on top of the placid water. “It was quite a bloom this year and I’m sure it’ll look just as magnificent lotuses will sprout again next year. You can actually see some of the pond life from the underground floor where you’ll find many species of lake fish living among the lotus stalks.”
“It’s truly magnificent, Dr. Jiang.” Lan Xichen says with awe. “I’m sorry that I’ve never had a chance to see it until now.”
“Well, you’re never too old to get curious about new things.” Dr. Jiang says with a smile. “I think that does it for the tour. You’re welcome to stay for as long as you’d like.”
“Thank you, Dr. Jiang.” He says gratefully.
“Oh please call me Yanli. We’ve known of each other for over two decades now.” She says with a teasing lilt.
Lan Xichen chuckles a bit. “Yes it’s true. I’ve known of you for over two decades and yet somehow this is the first time we’ve spoken more than a cursory hello. You should also just call me Xichen.”
Jiang Yanli smiles brightly, “Well I hope you enjoy your time at the aquarium. Please let us know if you need anything.”
After she leaves, Lan Xichen takes a moment to breathe in the cool air and stare out into the large pond. He’s sure that it will look magnificent in summer.
Then he wanders through the aquarium halls, bathed in a cool turquoise light as it shines through the clear waters of the exhibit. He sits down in front of the largest exhibit with the three whale sharks lazily moving through the water. He wonders if his own merman moves as smoothly in the water like this. With his sparkling purple fins and black hair trailing through the currents just wandering through the world freely. Lan Xichen wonders if he could ever feel like he could do the same. After everything that happened with Jin Guanyao.
He pushes the thoughts aside and walks towards the large tank. He sits on the floor and leans his back against the massive plexiglass walls and looks up. Staring at the fish above him and letting the hum of the quiet aquarium clear his mind.
--
“Xiong Zhang, you look better now.” Lan Wanji says one day over breakfast.
Lan Xichen looks up with surprise. “Do I?”
“Mn, more calm.” Is the answer.
Lan Xichen smiles, “That’s good.”
“Mn, I’m glad Xiong Zhang likes going to the aquarium.” Lan Wanji replies as he sips his tea.
“How did you even get the idea and get Jiang Yanli to come personally? It seems like she’s an extremely busy woman.” Lan Xichen asks curiously.
Lan Wanji pauses and looks at his brother. “Wei Ying. He takes me there sometimes and Jiang Yanli is his sister. He helped me get in contact with her.”
Lan Xichen suddenly freezes. Of course how could he have forgotten. “…Wei Wuxian?”
Lan Wanji nods. “Mn. Did not want to bring it up since he’s…”
“No.” Lan Xichen interrupts. “I know that you and him are together and I don’t want you to try and hide it for my sake.” He feels his smile waver but it was the truth. His brother did not ask for this and Wei Wuxian had done the right thing. Even if it had scorched him in the process.
Lan Wanji did not look convinced but he nodded and changes the subject to something else.
--
Lan Xichen goes to the aquarium at least 3 times a week. Usually Mondays and Tuesdays and after hours on Sundays. Sometimes he goes just for a hour, sometimes nearly the whole day. He knows nearly all the turns and exhibits by heart now. Sometimes, he sees Jiang Yanli and they chat for a bit. She’s always generous and kind with a warmth radiating from her. Some days she even sends him home with homemade food which he takes graciously.
One day he incidentally bumps into her husband Jin Zixuan, on his way to meet up with his wife. Which lead to the awkward exchange of,
“Lan Xichen.”
“J-Jin Zixuan.”
“…how are―”
“―are things―”
“…”
“…”
A cough.
“…”
“…I’m sorry. Lan Xichen. I stepped away from it all and…”
A shake of his head.
“No…this isn’t on you. Jin Zixuan.” And it feels a little easier to say.
“Still…”
“He made his choice…they both made their choices.”
A nod.
“I’m going to make sure they are punished for it.”
“…me too.”
Jiang Yanli’s sunny disposition soon comes in to dispel the clouds.
“A-Xuan, you’re here. Where’s A-Ling?” she asks with a smile.
Jin Zixuan scoffs. “Where else but with his beloved Jiu-jiu.” Despite the tone, there’s a sparkle of humor in his eyes.
Jiang Yanli laughs. “Of course he is. We better go them before they get into too much trouble. Xichen, it’s nice seeing you. Sorry to have to cut things short we have a family dinner reservation soon.”
“It’s not problem, Yanli. Please have a good night with your family.” He says. The couple leave quickly, and Lan Xichen is left alone again.
(Later he realizes that this was the first time he heard about the other Jiang sibling)
All good things though come to an end. The peace he’s felt for a while is instantly shattered by a phone call from his lawyers and later Nie Mingjue. What strength he had seem to leave him at the thought of facing him in the court room. With all the people, reporters, victims. To know that he was partially (if not fully) responsible for everything Jin Guanyao had done.
He suddenly feels trapped and out of place in his home. Every corner echoing with memories of him and a-Yao. He had to get out.
He belatedly realizes that he’s in the aquarium now, curled next to the beluga exhibit. The cold plexiglass seems to ground him a bit, but it can’t stop the shaking in his limbs, and it can’t stop his stuttering breathes. It feels like he’s drowning all over again.
He tries to remember the exercises, but it’s so hard to fight against the current of panic running through him. He’s flailing again. Unable to break and get air. Heartbeat thudding loudly in his ears.
BA-DUMP-BA-DUMP-BA-DUMP-BA-DUMP
Then something cold hits his hands. There’s a faint smell of citrus. There’s a hand on his shoulder firm but warm, a contrast to the cold ball in his hands.
Lan Xichen looks down and it’s a frozen orange. His fingers automatically curling around it as he focuses on the cold sensation. He unknowingly takes in a deep breath letting the frosty citrus scent waft through his nose. Slowly his breathing returns to normal, and his heartbeat isn’t a pounding drum against his ear. He keeps his eyes trained on the bright orange fruit, letting it roll around in his hands.
“They’re going to open soon.” A voice next to him says.
Lan Xichen is taken out the moment and looks next to him. A young man is sitting next to him with dark black hair tied in a bun on top of his head and clear silver-blue eyes. For a moment Lan Xichen is transported to that cove with the merman who saved him.
But it’s snapped away with a sharp, “Hey, are you with me?”
Lan Xichen blinks and nods still unable to find his voice.
The man nods. “Okay c’mon. I’ll take you to my lab. There’s an exit from there. I’m sure you don’t want people seeing you.”
Lan Xichen winces. Right, it was early Thursday morning. He’s sure that people would be coming in soon. He wordlessly gets up and follows the man through the aquarium’s hallways, until they hit a door that says “Staff only”. Lan Xichen and the man go through just as he hears the voices of families coming through the hallways.
He breathes a sigh of relief now that he’s not out in the open and follows the man through the back of the aquarium until he stops at door. Lan Xichen hears keys jingle, and the man soon opens the door and they walk through. Even before he enters, he’s hit with the smell of seawater and can hear the hum of filters.
He’s guided to a seat and realizes that he’s still tightly holding onto the orange. The frost has melted and the water drips down his fingers to the floors. A hand comes into view and takes the orange from his hands. Lan Xichen looks up and sees the man putting it in the small fridge underneath the desk.
“How’re you feeling now?” the man says.
“Um…okay I think.” Lan Xichen answers.
The man hums and nods. “You can stay as long as you need here. Do you want something to drink? I have coffee or tea.”
Lan Xichen looks down at his hands again. They’re still trembling, and he isn’t sure if he’s ready to head out just yet. “…tea. If it’s not too much trouble?”
“It’s not.” Is the reply and he busies himself in a small corner of the office area with an electric kettle.
While the man is making the tea, Lan Xichen looks around. It’s a fairly large room with three tanks on one side filled with various sea life and on the other side is an overly stuffed bookshelf and long desk. Papers and diagrams are covering walls with splashes of colorful post-its all around.
A steaming mug is suddenly in his face and Lan Xichen takes it gratefully. “Ah…thank you.”
“No problem. I’m gotta get going but stay as long as you want here and that door over there actually leads out towards the back of the aquarium and the staff and VIP parking.” The man says.
“…ah okay.” Lan Xichen says dumbly.
The man nods leaves as quickly leaving Lan Xichen alone in the office.
Time ticks on and Lan Xichen finds that each breath is a little easier and he feels a little steadier as the warmth of the tea seeps into his hand. He doesn’t drink it, only holds it tightly in his hand. He stares at the bright tank in front of him. There’s anemones and coral along the bottom with small bright fish darting around. Slowly he starts to feel more grounded and after what feels like hours he finally stands up and puts the now cold tea on the desk.
Lan Xichen feels a little guilty just leaving when the man helped him out but he doesn’t think it’s a good idea for him to head out and he doesn’t really feel like waiting in a random stranger’s office. He spies the stack of post-its and quickly peels one off and writes something on it. He looks around trying to find a good place for it, but he ends up sticking it to the mug before he heads out the door at the back.
True to the man’s word, he’s led out to the back where the VIP parking is and his car is only a few feet away.
As soon as he gets home, he heads to his room and falls face first onto his bed.
After that day, it feels like the following weeks are packed with meetings and paperwork. Before he’d stay at the aquarium for hours on end, but nowadays he has to keep it to short 1 hour visits. Too busy meeting with his lawyers and the investigational team. His brother takes him to every meeting and even his uncle comes down and stays at Lan Xichen’s home while he’s going through everything. There are days when he feels like he can’t breathe and days after the meetings when he just locks himself in his room and lies in bed. On one of those hard days, Lan Wanji comes up to him and says, “Let’s go to the aquarium Xiong Zhang.”
Lan Xichen is tempted to say no but as he looks up at his brother he can’t help but say, “Okay.”
They drive in silence up to the aquarium and they head inside.
Save for a few workers cleaning and taking care of the exhibits, the halls are empty. They end up heading towards the large exhibit with the whale sharks and the brothers sit down to watch the massive animals swim around the tank.
Lan Xichen pulls his knees to his chest and places his chin on the tops of his knees, and they silently watch together. Lan Xichen breaks the silence when he says, “I’m not sure if I can do it.”
“Xiong Zhang…” is the sad reply.
Lan Xichen gives his brother a tight smile. “I still will, but…it’s difficult. And I don’t feel like I have a right to say that I’m having a difficult time. Especially when everyone else…”
Lan Wanji places a hand over Lan Xichen’s knees. “Xiong Zhang…you were also hurt deeply.”
“But I was never…used or a-assulted or―or―”
“Doesn’t matter. You were still hurt. They still used you.”
Lan Xichen bites his lips. “It feels underserving...”
“Xiong Zhang should not compare trauma. You were hurt that’s all that matters.”
The words seem to echo in his mind, and he is reminded of the beach, the merman and the caring hand on him. Lan Xichen feels his lips wobble. “I―I matter too?”
Lan Wanji nods, and he wraps an arm around his brother’s shoulders. They both sit silently, but Lan Xichen can still feel all the warmth and love and care in his brother’s hold.
“I love you, A-Zhan.” Lan Xichen says smiling softly.
“…I love you too, Gege.”
They’re heading back to the car when Lan Xichen hears a commotion outside, Lan Wanji moves in front of his brother and goes behind a pillar. Before the view is completely blocked, Lan Xichen can see two men with their hands up and another one yelling, “―fuck off before I call the cops!”
“N-no. We’re new temp workers. Look here’s our badges.” One of them says showing the badge on the lanyard.
“We don’t hire temp workers assholes!”
“Ah…change in protocol...”
“Nice fucking try assholes, but no there wasn’t―and I FUCKING see you there! Don’t you fucking take another step!”
There’s some shuffling around a new voice says, “Look, why don’t we just…forget that this unfortunate thing happened, and you can get something nice for yourself.” Theres another rustle and Lan Xichen is sure that the man is handing out a stack of bills. “We know that Lan Xichen comes here― you don’t even have to confirm or say anything just let us…let us take a few pictures and stake out for a few days…and if you know something or seen something you’ll be appropriately compensated.”
There’s a pause and Lan Xichen tenses. He’s sure it’s a handsome payment and what person wouldn’t want to pocket some cash? Especially if it’s some minimum wage aquarium tech.
But to his surprise (and probably the two men) there’s a sound of a slap and then a, “Go stick your dicks in an anemone you fucking sea cucumbers!”
“W-wha? You crazy fucker―PFFF―ACK―WHAT THE FUCK?” There’s a sound of liquid squirting quickly out of something.
“You crazy asshole! Is that an oc―ADSFLJK IT INKED ME!” came the incredulous cry.
“Get those fuckers Lulu!”
“Fucking Christ I’m not paid enough for this shit!”
The two paparazzi run off while the loud cursing man shouts, “IF I FUCKING SEE YOU ASSHOLES HERE AGAIN I’LL THROW YOU IN THE HAGFISH EXHIBIT!”
Lan Xichen and his brother stay still for a few minutes more until they hear a car drive off and the man huffs and says, “You did good Lulu.”
The only reply is a splash of water, and Lan Xichen is more confused than ever. His brother seems unbothered and comes out of their hiding spot with Lan Xichen cautiously behind him.
The man seemed to hear them and turned. Lan Xichen is surprised to see that it was the same man who helped him out previously and lent him his office when he had a panic attack. Still the same piercing clear eyes, messy bun and wearing a white lab coat like armor. Next to him is a wheeled cart with a glass box filled with water and what looks to be an…octopus?
Lan Wanji seems unfazed by it all and nods at the man, greeting him with a deadpanned, “Dr. Jiang Wanyin…Lulu.”
Lan Xichen could swear that the octopus waved back at his brother.
“Lan Wanji.” Dr. Jiang Wanyin greets back equally deadpanned.
The two stare at each other and Lan Xichen feeling slightly awkward and ends up stepping up saying, “Ah, Dr. Jiang Wanyin correct? I’m Lan Xichen, Wanji’s brother.” He holds out his hands. The doctor stares at him for a minute and then sighs before taking the hand saying, “Only your brother uses my full courtesy name, but you can just call me Wanyin or my personal name Jiang Cheng. Everyone else does.” He says while looking pointedly at Lan Wanji.
“Dr. Jiang Wanyin has worked hard for his title. He should be referred to appropriately.” Lan Wanji retorts.
A tick is forming on Jiang Cheng’s eyebrows. “Right. Well. I’m going to leave before I let Lulu strangle a certain someone.”
“Lulu would never.” Lan Wanji responds confidently. Jiang Cheng flips him the bird in response and stalks back inside with Lulu.
Lan Xichen blinks at the encounter and turns to his brother. “A friend of yours?”
Lan Wanji looks like he ate a very very sour plum. “No. He’s Wei Ying’s and Yanli’s younger brother.”
The older Lan blinks, “…really? He’s very…”
“Mn.”
The pair walk off to the car and during the drive Lan Xichen says, “…He seems nice.”
Lan Wanji nearly swerves into a pole and Lan Xichen thinks it may be better to keep those thoughts to himself.
It seems that Lan Xichen is the only one who doesn’t know Jiang Wanyin because after he told his uncle an abridged (and clean) version of the events, his normally stoic uncle says, “Ah so you met Jiang Wanyin then? A studious young man. Very bright, talented and so polite. I’m glad that you two met. He is a loyal friend to have.”
It was as close to ‘gushing’ as he his uncle could get.
“Ah…you know him Uncle?” Not bothering to correct him on the ‘friend’ label.
“Yes. He was in our after-school dance program until college, but he still takes classes occasionally. A shame he never went professional. His instructors and I thought he was quite talented, but…I’m glad to see that he’s doing something equally rewarding. He’s always been more like his mother. Head in the sea.” His uncle responds almost…fondly.
Lan Xichen hums in response and they move on to other topics. But even when they move on to other topics, Lan Xichen still sees the bright clear blue-grey eyes and booming voice in the back of his mind.