Begin Again

by hansareum

Summary:

First love, first kiss, first of everything, even the first heartbreak. He thought that all of his firsts would be his last, he was so wrong. He didn't expect it to end this way.

He gave so much trust, love and everything of his, only to be left empty. This is a story of Han jisung - a musician (or soon to be) who loves and will do anything for who and what he loves.

(don't be fooled by this summary, I'm bad at it)

Notes:

Information might be inaccurate as well as the setting. Also English isn't my first language so please be understanding :)

this is hard, help ㅠㅠ

Chapter 1: The start of something new

Third person's pov

8th Grade

At the age of 13, Jisung had a lot of dreams. He wanted to be a chef, an architect, a business man, a fashion designer. He was undecided, but he was leaning in to arts. He could be a painter too. Well that future is far ahead, he was only 13 still.

Han was sitting quietly outside his house, watching ants carry the sweets he laid there. It was summer, well it was summer every day here. He was suddenly interrupted when he felt a slight tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see it was another kid, maybe a little older.

That's how he met Lee Minho, the new kid. He moved in at the house next to his yesterday. He found out he was a year older than him. They got along quite well and became the best of friends. At school, they were inseparable. They got attached too quickly and in the blink of an eye, they already knew each other for 2 years.

10th Grade

At 15, Jisung grew feelings he never knew he could feel for another guy, the guy being his best friend. It was confusing and hard but he got through it.

He confessed to Minho and suprisingly (not) he felt the same way. That was the start of something new, for them and their relationship.

A month into them as a couple, they were laying down in Minho's bed watching another drama that they weren't even paying any attention to.

"Do you think our parents would get mad if we tell them we're in a relationship?" Jisung asked out of nowhere.

"I don't think they'd be mad, they're supportive you know. If you're ready we can tell them." That's true, they are supportive of them, of whatever things they do.

It's only been a month, but he was so sure of Minho. Moving his gaze away from the movie playing on the screen of the tv. He looked at Minho. God, he loved the guy so much. They haven't said the L word yet but they felt it, they know by heart. His tall, sharp nose. That long eyelashes. That lips, oh he so wished he could feel on his.

He looked back at his eyes, only to find Minho looking back. They stared at each other for a minute, maybe longer. As cliche as it may sound, they didn't know who leaned in first but they didn't care. Their lips moved in sinc, it was a perfect fit, as if it was some type of puzzle.

Their first kiss. A moment to remember. A few days later, they told their parents about their relationship and as expected they were proud and supportive.

1st year College

18 year old Han was determined to become a musician, a singer, a songwriter. He wanted to give his message to the world, whatever it may be. And so he took music education and majored in composition. He also took a lot of minor courses that will help him in his journey as an artist.

As for 19 year old Minho, he decided to drop out of college and hunt for an agency. He talked about it with Jisung and together, they found one. They both got in and a few months later, Minho got his first role. It was a supporting role, a small one but it was better than nothing. Plus he was only starting.

Jisung didn't drop out and continued studying for his course. It was necessary to have a diploma to get better opportunities. He wasn't jealous that Minho started his career at 19, rather he was proud.

A year later, Minho got his first main role. Jisung was proud, supportive. But Minho was hesitant. It was a BL series. New to the industry but quickly rising to its popularity. They talked about it, Jisung insisted he get the role, said that it was for his career. Minho argued that it may come in between their relationship. So Jisung negotiated that he can tell his co-star about their relationship.

That's how Jisung met Seungmin Kim. One of the hottest Actor in the industry. He was friendly and supportive of their relationship. That's how they became friends.

Everything was going well. Seungmin often goes to Minho and Jisung's apartment to unwind and hang out. They became the closest. But outside of everything, the company didn't know about Minho and Jisung's relationship. The fans ship Minho and Seungmin. The series was doing well. But Jisung was still stuck. He still wasn't a musician. But to him, it was okay. He wanted to finish college first and see how everything goes.

Graduation day

At the age of 21, Jisung finally got his diploma. He was ecstatic, he thought that after this he would finally debut as a singer-songwriter. But after talking with the company, they said he needed more work with his vocals. So Jisung worked hard, he trained more.

Sneak peak to Minho and Jisung's relationship, they haven't made love in a while, maybe somwhere along two years, they haven't even kissed in months. They haven't been seeing much of each other. Minho's career was rising, his popularity increased. The series with Seungmin was still going even after two years. It already had two seasons. The fans kept telling them that their chemistry was great. So the projects between the loveteam was growing.

Jisung didn't question it when Minho started losing time for them, because it was his career. He understood that. He was also busy with training so he could debut.

Jisung was 22 when he was called by the company. He was 22 when they told him they knew about his relationship with Minho. He was 22 when they asked him to choose:

a. break up with Minho and stay in the company.

b. break up with Minho and leave the company.

c. don't break up with Minho, but both will leave the company.

Jisung knew the company wanted Minho to stay, he also wanted him to stay. His career was growing, he didn't want that to be snatched away from him. He had no choice. He picked Minho. He'll always pick him.

So Jisung told them he'll leave Minho and the agency. The company had no problems with that. So when they were finished. Jisung went home to their shared apartment and packed his bags. He got all his things in his car and he waited in it to talk to Minho.

He knew it was wrong. To decide for the both of them. But he wanted to protect Minho, he loved him too much and with 8 years of a relationship with Minho. And a decade of knowing him, he didn't think much. He will always choose love over his career.

Nervous to be waiting and breaking the news to Minho. He knew he'll be mad. But Jisung wasn't selfish. He never knew how. So when he saw Minho's car parking, he sat up properly in his car seat and waited for him to get out.

'why is Seungmin here?' he thought. He didn't mind it and followed them up to the apartment. He saw them opening the door and waited a few minutes so he could also come in.

What he didn't expect is to hear arguing. He wanted to open the door and stop them from getting into a heated fight but he heard something he shouldn't have.

"I seriously think we should stop doing this, Seungmin. I can't keep feeling guilty about this. We should have stopped a long time ago." Hearing this, Jisung got curious. Maybe they were practicing a scene? But he called him Seungmin so, that's not it.

"Look Min, it didn't stop you for three years. We've been hooking up for three years. Doesn't that mean your relationship is over? You should be with me. At this point, you already are. Don't you think so?" what?, no that's a lie. That's not true

"Fuck, I know what we did, I know what I did. We were drunk." that's not an excuse, Minho. Listening to this, Jisung didn't even realized he was crying.

"We weren't always drunk for the three years we were hooking up, Min. That's a shitty excuse. Just admit it, you like me too. Don't you? You've been coming back to me for three years. And when was the last time you fucked Jisung? like come on, I know you by now."

Seungmin was right. Fuck he was so right. Without a word, Jisung walked away. He got into his car and drove to anywhere. Just anywhere. Far away from everything and him

Jisung sent one last text to Minho. It was wrong to end things that way but he couldn't face him. For once, he wanted to be selfish. For once, he wanted to think about himself.

On the other side, Minho received a text while laying down with Seungmin by his side.

Hi, Minho. I wanted to talk to you in person but that's going to be hard for me. And also you wouldn't let me. I texted to tell you that I wanted to end things between us. I know its sudden but the agency talked to me. They found out about us today. They only talked to me, I guess. I knew they wanted to keep you. You are one of their best actors there. So I decided to go. You're important to me. This was my decision, so don't go blaming yourself. I want you to take care of yourself and keep growing. I'm going to start my own career too but in a different place. So when you receive this message, I've already blocked you. I'm sorry, Minho. I do love you. So much, maybe a bit too much. I love you, I'll still be cheering for you.

"what?" was all minho could say.

Chapter 2: Twenty Three

Notes:

I'll be adding images in other chapters, let me know if you don't see them. <3

Third person's pov

One year later

For a year, Han Jisung was laying low. He worked at a cafe near the city he currently ran away to. He also made a new friend there.

Seo Changbin, the cafe owner. He also owns the gym upstairs, well he owns the entire building. His place is at the third floor which is the highest point, Jisung was flabbergasted when he found out the whole floor was his apartment. It was a beautiful area. It was shocking to him that Changbin was only a year older yet he owns a cafe, a gym, and the whole ass building.

When Jisung was, kind of, running away last year. He found the cafe by chance and asked if they wanted a new employee. That's how he got a job there. He didn't face his parents ever since but kept updating them that he was okay and that he was finding agencies.

It wasn't exactly a lie, he didn't give up on his dreams. He still write songs. He even wrote a song about him and their past relationship. It was entitled 13, 'cause they met when Jisung was 13. But having no proper equipment, he recorded the song with his phone while playing the guitar.

When Changbin found out that Jisung was sleeping in his car and taking a shower at the gym upstairs, he took him in. His own words being "What the hell, dude. You could've stayed with me upstairs, I have like enough room for a fucking family." Jisung stayed there for a few months until he could afford an apartment. Yet Changbin didn't really want him to move, so up until now he still lives with Changbin.

Present Day

"Dude, stop fucking sighing. You've been staring at nowhere since this morning. The hell is your problem now?" Changbin might talk like that, may use a lot of profanities. But he's the most nicest and caring guy he had ever met.

Rolling his eyes at that, Jisung replied, "I miss my studio at home" He did, Jisung's dad was also a musician. But in a band. So his dad had built his own studio at the basement. Having all sorts of equipments and sound proof walls. That's where his dreams came from.

"Then go home?" Changbin said, as if that was the most obvious solution. For context, Changbin never asked Jisung about his past. He didn't want to pry, he only knew that he was running away, not from home but from something. He didn't emphasize on that, so he never asked too.

"If only it was that easy, what if the thing I was running away from was there??? then what?" He looked stressed out. Changbin looked at him and said, "You know it's been a year, this 'thing' that you're running away from. It's always going to be there. It's better if you know, you face it?"

"I hate it when you make so much sense" Jisung said and pouted. He was right, there's no point in running away. I mean you could literally see Minho everywhere. The billboard, posters, TV's and just everywhere. He just sighed at that. It's not like he hasn't moved on, he kind of is. But there's always that lingering feeling he had. An empty spot in his heart. But currently, he was too afraid to love again, to trust again.

Han's dilemma was interrupted when Changbin's phone buzzed with a notification. He saw how his face changed from annoyed to excited. "Han, Dude! remember Chris? Chan? My friend from somewhere. So he's like having this annual event. Usually his trainees would go perform on them so they'd get known before debut but like he needs one more to complete a set 'cause his other trainee got sick. It's on saturday and I told him you were gonna fill up that spot."

"Chris who now?? Saturday? Perform??? Bro it's Thursday!! What the fuck?!"

"Well you can't bail, I already told him and he's excited. But seriously? you don't know Chris? I've been talking about him like since ever?? He's the CEO and founder of CB entertainment? the leading agency for musicians?" Changbin explained.

It took a moment for Jisung to let the information sink to him before he started freaking out, "All this time, you had a friend. A friend who owns an entertainment, an agency. The leading one at that. For musicians. Okay. Why didn't you tell me?? I could've sent them a sample of my songs, I could've gotten in a long time ago."

Changbin looked at him pointedly, "Dude, I literally gave you his number? the same day you told me you were a music graduate. Like I slid it to you while we were at the gym then."

"oh... I thought you were giving me your trash"

"you are hopeless, wtf. I'll just give him your number" he walked away while shaking his head in disbelief.

(❀◦‿◦)

Later that afternoon, while. Jisung was getting ready to close the cafe early, he got a text from an unknown number.

They talked for a while and Chan offered for Jisung to go to his company and record his song properly. Said that he could go anytime. 

Jisung really wanted to go today but he said that he'll go tomorrow and will get everything ready for now. He was having a breakdown, everything was moving fast. Maybe this will be the start of his career. He had to choose a song to cover too. Well, guess we'll find out on Saturday. 

 

 

Notes:

good for han, choose yourself too. I'm projecting don't mind me. (◕‿◕✿）

Chapter 3: This is me

Notes:

so I don't really have schedules for updates. I update whenever I can and when I get ideas for fillers.

Han Jisung's pov

I was standing infront of CB entertainment, today is the day. This could become my new beginning. Fuck, I don't even know how I got here. I don't know how I drove to get here. Wtf wtf wtf. 

I took a deep breath and started to walk inside, 'cause you know I probably looked dumb standing outside their building for almost 10 minutes, like who does that!?!

I walked to the front desk or whatever, I can do this, fuck what do I even ask? What do I say? 

"Good day, Sir! what can I do for you?" the lady at the front said. Wtf wtf wtf. 

"uhm... Chris asked me to go here, today?" that was fucking awkward what the hell. 

"oh, can I get your name?" my name? what's my name? 

"Uhh Jisung, Han Jisung" who the fuck forgets their name? Why do I keep cursing? fuck Changbin and his influence.

"Okay, you can go up to the 5th floor, the second door to the right. You'll find Mr Bang there, have a nice day!" I bowed slightly to her and walked towards the elevator.

Okay, so 5th floor and the second door to the left. Wait did she say left? or right? Fuck I can't go back there. I'll just find out on my own...fuck my life.

When the elevator stopped, I stepped out and started to walk. I was about to open one of the doors but it opened first. 

"Oh! are you perhaps Jisung?" the one who opened the door asked. I nodded at him and he continued, "I'm Chris, come in. There's tons of equipments you could use here. Oh and I loved the song, so heartbreaking. Is there a reason why it was titled 13" 

"Thank you... and it's titled 13 because that's when I met my best friend, who became the love of my life, known them for 10 years, dated for 8 but... something happened so yeah."

Why did I have to choose this song like I had tons of other songs, but maybe I wanted someone to hear it. 

"let's get started, I'll help you out so we could move faster. And I'll guide you with the vocals."

We started and talked a lot, when I told him what song I would cover and when I recorded it he was impressed, he even shed a tear. 

(❀◦‿◦)

It was already 11 pm when they finished everything. They didn't even leave the studio so they could be done fast. They ate, worked, and talked for hours there. 

"Chris, thank you, really. This is a one in a lifetime opportunity for me." Jisung started, they were going downstairs so they both could get home. 

"I'll be thanking you if you want to sign with my label. From what I saw today, you're by far the most talented one among my trainees. I don't get how you haven't been out in the industry by now. And I'm not being kind 'cause you're Binnies friend, okay?"

"I would really love to sign with you. I was with an agency for years but they didn't even bat an eye for me so yeah I got out, been out for a year." 

A lot of memories, with him, with the agency, with my old apartment. Gosh, I wish things were different. 

"Well, I saw your talent, your potential. I'm not letting you out of my sight now. By the end of this event, I want to debut you Jisung. You've mentioned that you had other songs right? Will you let me listen to all of them?"

This felt like a dream. I would hug him but first time seeing each other... uhh no thanks. 

"For real? Yeah I'll uh send all of them to you tonight, I can do that. O my gosh, thank you so much Chris." I didn't hug him, but I did jump up and down like crazy. 

We bid our goodbyes, after Chris kept offering to take me home. I argued that I wasn't a kid anymore and he was literally just 3 years older than me. 

When I got to my car, I started to scream and hit my head at the steering wheel. God, don't wake me up if this is a dream. 

I got home quickly and started to run to Changbin's room. I didn't care that he was already asleep, I jumped straight on top of him. 

"what the hell?!?!" Changbin grunted. 

"Bro, O My God, I'm gonna be a singer-songwriter. Bro, I'm gonna debut." I shouted while hugging him. 

"Congrats you crybaby. Come on, let's sleep" 

Notes:

I really love 13, Han's vocal was just soooo scrumptious. ＼(☆o☆)／

Chapter 4: Over you

Notes:

I'll be adding images here too, mostly tweets, so let me know when it doesn't show up for you.

I tried writing a longer chapter, took two days cause there was a power interruption today for the whole day so yeah! Ignore typos please. (*‿*✿)

Third Person's pov

A lot of realization came to Han over the year. He didn't realize his past relationship ended even before he knew about them hooking up. 

They didn't go on dates anymore, they didn't spend even just a little time with each other like they used to. They neglected their relationship. But Jisung knew that, he just kept understanding him. 

He didn't want to end their relationship. That was what he feared the most then. But it still ended, and he can't do anything about it but accept things. When he broke up with him, it didn't hurt much because he already expected it. That it will happen sooner or later. But the betrayal wasn't expected, the broken trust wasn't expected. He at least thought they'd get back to being best friends, but he doesn't see that happening in the near future. He just can't, not yet. 

He stared at himself in the mirror. He repeated the phrase 'you can do it' over and over. He'll perform today, finally show everyone what he can do. 

There was a tap on his shoulder and when he looked up he saw Changbin smiling at him. He was so glad he met him. The support he needed was always there because Changbin was there. 

"Dude, go kill it okay? I'm so proud of you for getting here. And don't ever forget me when you go viral and blow up the internet, okay?" Changbin had that playful smirk he always had when teasing Han. 

"Bin, I'm nervous as heck" nevertheless, Han smiled and slightly punched Changbin's shoulder. 

"Han? you're next" they called out. Han looked at Changbin nervously but he only gave him a reassuring smile. 

He took the deepest breath and got up the stage, it was a little silent. Some cheering, they probably don't know him yet. Here goes nothing. Jisung cleared his throat and held the mic stand. 

"Hi, you probably don't know me. I'm new here. My name's Han. Like the others I'll be singing a cover first and then my own song. I hope you can listen to what my heart conveys along with the song. Thank you!"

With that, Han took the guitar and strapped it. He took one last look at the audience, it looked like a concert with how many people there were. He smiled and gave the signal. He started strumming his guitar. 

Now playing: Over you by daughtry (listen to the song if you haven't heard it yet) 

♪ Now that it's all said and done

I can't believe you were the one

To build me up and tear me down

Like an old abandoned house ♪

He wanted Minho to be his last. He met him at such a young age, grew up with him. They built themselves together, to be the best of who they are. Yet here he is, left alone. Broken and building himself back up on his own. 

♪ What you said when you left 

Just left me cold and out of breath

I fell too far, was in way too deep

Guess I let you get the best of me ♪

What he heard that day, he didn't know what to feel, to think and how to process those words. He felt sick knowing he was kissing and loving the same guy. He trusted him too much, showed and gave him everything he could offer. Because he thought, Minho would never hurt him. They were best friends first before becoming a couple. So it made sense to him. Yet he got stabbed. 

♪ Well, I never saw it coming

I  should've started running a long, long time ago

And I never thought I'd doubt you

I'm better off without you

More than you, more than you know ♪

He didn't think a day where Minho would find someone else would ever come. But he should've known better. But whatever the past did, its now in the past. There's no use dwelling over it. He'll get better. 

♪ I'm slowly getting closure

I guess it's really over

I'm finally getting better

Now, I'm picking up the pieces

And spending all of these years

Putting my heart back together

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through

I got over you ♪

Whatever happened in the past, he could see clearly now. He knows that breaking up was for the best, for him and Minho. At first he thought the day he would get over him will never come, but here he is now. Getting over him, picking himself up and being the best version of himself. 

He ended the song with a smile. This is it, the feeling, the rush, he always wanted this. He loved being on stage and singing his songs. 

"Did you guys enjoy that?" with a new rush of confidence, he asked the audience and they responded immediately. Shouting a 'yes' and other things he couldn't comprehend. 

"This song will be the last song for this night, it's a little slow. I could call it a love song almost. Its about sacrifice, love, and hurt. It's an original entitled 13. Listen to it well!" 

He hoped he could hear him singing this song. He doesn't blame Minho. He's not angry. Jisung is just... hurt, tired, empty, confused. He wanted nothing more but go back to how it used to be, but just as friends. 

He left his guitar and let himself feel the moment. He wanted to cry so badly. He hasn't cried since he walked away. He wanted to be strong, but he just wants comfort, home, and felt loved again.

 

Han Jisung's pov

I remember writing 13. It was a few weeks after the break up. I felt lost, I couldn't put to words what I was feeling. It felt like my heart was too heavy yet felt empty. 

I missed him so much during those weeks. I thought about just coming back. He doesn't even know that I know about his affair. I thought about not confronting him and just going back to how we were. I thought about enduring everything just to come back to him. 

But I knew that even if I comeback to him, to how we were. Nothing will make things better, I wouldn't just forget. Nothing will ever be the same again. 

So during those weeks, I imagined how he would react. How maybe he'd feel guilty. How he'll be sorry that I sacrificed for us and how I'll reassure him it was my decision. That I love him, but now... now I don't. I don't think I'll ever love him the same way again. 

♪ This happiness doesn't seem to be mine

I must let it go, send it far away

Nostalgic memories that last deep inside

They give me a headache ♪

I reminisced our moments, our firsts during those ten years I've known him. They were all happy memories but they hurt too much, it made me feel nauseous to think about them. To know that what we had will just be a part of my past.

♪ like the rolling waves

The memories and words we shared

wash over me again

Ah ah ah~

The night I walked you home

My warm spring days

The day when thick mist filled the air

You were my universe ♪

I couldn't stop our memories from just coming back to me anytime and everwhere I go. Questions, so many unaswered questions. Just why? why did I have to meet you so early? why did I have to love you? why did you have to hurt me so much? why can't I let you go? 

I couldn't stop my tears from flowing anymore, the first time I cried since our break up. Fuck. There's this lump inside my throat that I want to get out, I wanted to shout, to let him know that I know. 

♪ To do what's best for you, 

I denied myself

To me it was perfectly right, 

but why? 

What are you sorry for, 

it was my own will and desire. 

I could give you my all and

it still wouldn't be enough ♪

I thought I gave him everything, my all. It wasn't enough. Why wasn't I enough? Was there something wrong in me? Am I ugly? Am I not worthy? ...Am I easy? 

♪ During days when we were young and naive, 

what we loved 

were your pure, clear eyes

that gazed into you and me ♪

I wish we were still young. I wish things were different. I wish you loved me more. I wish I was enough for you.

After ending the song I bowed to them and started walking back to my dressing room. Fuck why can't I stop crying? Why did he have to do this to me? I  closed the door behind me but I didn't know I had company. 

"Sung? hey, what happened?" the person said, I couldn't really see who they are, my eyes were too blurry from my tears. 

"I... please just go, IㅡI can't talk right now"

I felt someone hugged me and whispering it's okay over and over, why does he sound so familiar? I let myself be comforted by the person not really thinking much, I just wanted to cry everything out. 

(❀◦‿◦) 

It has been minutes, maybe an hour until I finally calmed down. I haven't even looked up to see who was hugging me still. They were stroking my hair carefully, I want to stay like this for a while. But that'll be awkward, so I let go of the hug and wiped my tears with the back of my hand. 

"waitㅡLix? Felix, what are you doing here?" 

"Hello to you too, I missed you so much Sungie. It's been years since we last saw and I didn't expect to meet up like this. You know I was gonna surprise you, but I got surprised instead."

Lix, he was one of my friends back in high school. Something just happened, another memory, for us to grow apart. We didn't have any ill feelings with each other before we parted ways. So everythings well. 

I met him when we were in 10th grade, if I remember correctly. He became one of my closest friend and we were inseparable after knowing our birthdays only had a day, maybe a few hours apart. One day he confessed to me in an empty classroom. Petals all over the floor, candles lighting up the room, and him standing with a cheesecake in hand. He knew me, he knew how I wanted romantic and cheesy things. 

But the day before that, I found out how much I loved Minho in a not so friendly way. If he was a day early, maybe I would've said yes. And that day, Minho also saw us but he didn't pay any mind. He walked away fast. That's how I confessed to him, rejected Lix and got myself a boyfriend. 

"I'm sorry, I've been having a tough year. I miss you too, lixie." he smiled at me and, "Gosh, I miss that smile"

"stop saying that, you always said those words along with compliments back then, that's why I misunderstood things" he chuckled. 

"How are you, Lix?" 

"well, I've been good. I'm a model now and a host too on some show. Maybe I'll invite you there and interview you. How about you? Are you still with Minho?" 

"thats great lixie, but uhh I'm not with him anymore. We broke up a year ago." This is good, I get to talk about my past with someone I can trust. 

"WHAT? did he hurt you? did he break your heart? I told him I'd kill him if he hurt you!" he was always protective of me, If I chose you then, If I said yes to you then. Will I be happy and not broken now?

"You can not hurt anyone, you're an angel. You can't spill this to anyone, though. He's still an actor afterall. You know Seungmin? his 'loveteam'? well he cheated on me with him. They've been at it for three years and I didn't notice. How pathetic, right?" I saw how his face drop by what I said, I mean isn't it true? 

How can I not see what was happening right in front of me? How was I so blind? Same questions for over a year and I still don't know what I did wrong, what things I could've offered for him not to find someone else. 

"That's not true Sung. He's the one who's crazy and pathetic for not seeing you. You're literally the best. You know if I was still single, I'd still come running after you. You're enough, pretty, talented, you have almost everything. He just couldn't see that. And he is so dumb for that, for not being content." 

"Who's the lucky guy? or girl?" 

"Don't try to avoid my compliments and the subject. But you'll meet him soon." I grinned at that. 

"Ahh you still know me, catch up with me okay? I just need to find Binnie, he's a new friend of mine."

"Okay, still have my number?" he asked before we both stold up. 

"Of course, if you didn't change it."

"I didn't, bye Sungie. Meet with me soon, okay?" he said and hugged me one last time before he left. 

(❀◦‿◦)

After the event, I texted Chris that I wouldn't be able to meet with him. Excusing I was tired, which is true. I called Bin to come take me home, I couldn't drive with my state. 

So here we are, laying down on his bed after another crying session. He was always understanding of me. How is he not in a relationship? 

"Dude! you're trending on twitter, like right now. Look at some of the tweets." He shouted. 

"Bin, I love you but you're so loud sometimes. Let me see." I got his phone and started scrolling.

That photo's kind of nice. 

Oh? Chris also has a fandom? I kinda look stupid in that picture. 

Oh yeah, I cried on stage. Fuck why did I cry on stage?!?! Oh my God I probably looked like a crybaby. What would be my first impression to them now??? 

"Ji, your phone's been buzzing since earlier. Maybe you shoukd go check that. They could be following your accounts, you might want to check for embarassing posts."

"OH MY GOD, NOOO" I scrambled to get to my phone. 

I immediately openned it to see notifications only to be disappointed. 

I thought I blocked his number? 

Notes:

I'm a Han biased, in case you didn't notice. He looks so good in that freaking outfit.

Anyway sorry about the song lyrics, it was important for the plot •﹏•

Chapter 5: Remember that night

Notes:

updates will be inconsistent, probably. Depends if I'm too tired from my job (╥_╥).

Han's pov

It's been a day since I received that message. Ignored it for the sake of my mental health. All I did was distract myself and get ready for my debut. 

Chris told me that it's up to me what song I wanted to be part of my mini album. So what I did since yesterday was to pick, rearrange, and re-recorded my songs. 

I've been stuck in the studio where I met Chris. I definitely wanted to include 13 in it. Maybe at the end. I considered some old love song I dedicated to him, which was titled Close.

This album will be about us, about ending that chapter, turning all the pages and closing that book. I want to write a new story about me and maybe a new someone. 

I sighed while I wrote the lists of songs. It's kinda ironic how my intro would be Close. He'll know for sure that all the songs are for him. It's a message too. So if he doesn't get what it means, maybe I'd talk some sense into him. 

I got up to get some coffee in the cafe on the first floor. The coffee's really great here, I love how my life's turning out. I just hope nothing comes crashing soon. 

While walking towards the elevator, I received a message from someone. Oh, it's Lix. 

I laughed quietly at that and started to walk on the way to the cafe. I'm grateful I have Lixie back in my life. He's such a good influence and a positive person to have in your life. 

Once I entered the cafe, I searched for Lix. He's definitely not alone. But I can't see his face 'cause his back is facing me. I'm so bad at small talk, what do I even say??!? 

"Sungie! come sit" Lixie shouted, glad there's only a few people in here. He stood up and hugged me before guiding me to sit next to him while his boyfriend is sitting infront of us. Lix put his arm around my shoulder and started introducing us while somehow vibrating?? how the fuc-? 

"Oh my gosh so, Sungie this is my boyfriend, Jeongin. Jeongin this is Jisung my first love!" I was about to say hi but what he said last shocked me. I didn't know that. 

"Lix! you can't say that!" I said while and lightly pushed him of me. "Sorry about that, not really a good first impression, my name's Jisung, Han Jisung" I said properly while smiling softly and offering my hand. 

He smiled at me, wow he has a killer smile. Why is everyone around me so fucking pretty?

"Hi, I'm Yang Jeongin. You can call me Innie and no that didn't offend me. I'm used to him talking about a lot of stuff and I think I've heard about you before. Kind of mentioned a lot of 'sungie' here and there. I'm a model btw, I sing sometimes too when there's projects." I looked at Lix when he said that. He didn't forget about me. 

"Sung, of course I didn't forget about you. I just didn't want to come in between you and you know who. Plus you can't really forget first loves!" I rolled my eyes at that but still smiled. 

"You really can't stay shits like that. Innie I don't know how you're still with him. I'm kidding, I know exactly why. Anyway, uhm I'm preparing for my debut as a singer so I don't think I can stay long. We can talk for a few minutes though" 

I forgot to mention, Lixie bought me a slice of cheesecake and an Ice Americano. He still remember my favorites. He's really a keeper. 

We talked for a while and got to know more about each other. They've been together for a year and a half already. They met in a modeling project along with Huji? I forgot his name. They said I can meet him soon and that we would get along well. 

We bid our goodbyes and I walked back to the studio. After this, I'll let Chris approve them and then a phoroshoot will happen. M/V shooting and stuff, I'm gonna be busy as hell. But that's good. This is my beginning. 

(❀◦‿◦)

I yawned and checked for the time. It's almost dinner already. I haven't even checked my phone for hours. I rolled my chair to the back sofa and reached for my phone. Oh wow, twitter (X) notifications? why are people tagging me? 

Oh yeah, we took a picture earlier. I smiled at that then reposted the tweet and closed my phone. I stood up and carried my bag then walked out of the studio. Ugh, I need to eat dinner and come back here. 

I should just eat in the cafeteria, it's closer and I could come back fast. It's not like Chris is telling me to finish eveything by the day. But I just wanted to finalize everything fast. I want to debut as soon as possible. I mean there's really no rush in this, I just want everything to be over so I could fully let go of the past. 

While I was eating, someone sat infront of me. "Dude, you are going home with me after this." he took one of my meat then continued, "Channie told me that you've been stuck in that hole for the whole day and yesterday. No buts, come home"

I slumped my shoulders in defeat then said, "okay but I'll just check one last time with my songs if its saved properly. You can wait in the car, I'll be fast."

He stood up and messed my hair before walking the path down the parking lot. I wanted to finish everything today. 

After I finished my dinner I got back in the studio, I openned it to hear one of my songs playing. Maybe Chris came to see my progress? 

I got in to see it was someone familiar. What is he doing here? 

Notes:

Who might it be? 🤔

I'm 21 btw and I'm a fossil stay! ♨ oh and I refuse to call twitter as X.

Sorry for the short update, today's (13) my dads 1st death anniversary.

Chapter 6: Be Alright

Notes:

so sorry for not updating for a long time! I don't know when I'll be able to update next but I'll try to fit it in my schedule (╥_╥)

Third Person's pov

Jisung stood frozen on the doorstep of the studio. Unable to move as he saw the person sitting in his chair and listening to his songs. Fuck he wasn't ready to talk to him, not yet. Not when he hasn't completely healed and forgotten about what they did. 

"Hi, Jisung. It's been a while. Can we... Can we talk?" 

Still not processing what's happening, Jisung just stood there, wide eyed. Looking directly at one of the person he didn't want to see, not yet at least. 

Regaining himself, he started walking towards the chair and stopping the music from playing. He made sure to save all his files then proceeded to go out of the studio, not uttering one word to that person.

"Come on, are you really going to ignore me? After you left us? After breaking up? It was you, who broke up, it was you okay? it wasn't anyones fault but yours!"

Jisung started walking away towards the elevator, he wanted to go away, he wanted to speak his side. To say he knows. But he stayed silent, nothing good will ever come out if they're both angry. 

"Do you know how miserable we were since you left? How hard it was for us? We had to postpone a lot of our projects since you left suddenly, you had a big impact on us, you know? you were like a glue that kept us all. But fuck stop walking. Listen to me!" He started walking faster until he couldn't anymore. 

"Fucking hell, face me and talk to me!" he followed him up until the elevator. 

Hearing that shout, he flinched lightly but recovered quick when the elevator opened and he saw someone, an escape. 

"Love! Oh my gosh, I've been waiting for you" Jisung said, and hugged the guy in the elevator then looked back to the guy following him. 

"Seungmin, I'm really sorry but I can't talk right now, maybe some other time. My boyfriend here, he's picking me up and we really need to go." With that the elevator closed and Jisung walked to the other side of the elevator making some space between him and the other guy, he didn't actually know who. 

"uhhh... hello to you too? I guess?" the man chuckled, he looked at Jisung and fuck was that man gorgeous as hell. 

"I'm really sorry about that! He was pestering me to talk but I didn't want to, not yet anyway. I was just in a troubling position and you were there. And I can give you anything for helping me out, not that you did anything but stand there awkwardly but—" he was cut off when the guy laughed again. 

Fuck even his laugh was pretty. 

(*‿*✿)

Han's pov

I don't know how I got in someone's car. Why did I even do that?!? That's so fucking embarrasing. But come to think of it, this guy seems so familiar too. I feel like I've seen him before. What if he was an ex, kidding I only have one and he's an ass. 

The 'guy' cleared his throat then proceeded to speak, "I'm Hyunjin, Hwang Hyunjin if you didn't know. I'm a singer-songwriter here. I haven't seen you here before tho?" 

oh. 

oh. 

WHAT THE FUCK! 

"Oh my god, I did not just do that to you! that's so freaking embarrassing. I'm freaking sorry about earlier." I hid my face on my hands as I finished talking, but I felt a tap on my shoulder so I looked up at him. 

"Your name?" he asked then tilted his head slightly to the side, like a curious puppy. Why is he so freaking beautiful and cute?!? 

"I'm uhm, I'm Han Jisung. I'm new here and about to debut soon as a singer-songwriter too." I suddenly felt shy talking about myself infront of someone so... high already. 

"Oh congrats! Can I have your number?" huh? 

"for what?" I asked, not that I shouldn't trust him, I don't even know if I should. 

"Well, you said you'll make it up to me right? Maybe we should keep in touch. Plus maybe we can do a collab too!" Why does he look like a cute ferret? and why did I agree giving my number to him? 

He insisted on taking me home even though I refused, so when we arrived he looked shocked to see where I lived. 

"Wait, you live here? Isn't this where Chris' boyfriend lives?" he asked me. Wait what? 

"Chris has a boyfriend?" I asked back. 

"No, I mean I've been here before but I didn't really pay attention to anyone. It was some sort of party a long time ago when I was still a trainee." 

"I'll have to ask them soon...do you want to go in or you have some other plans?" I asked, of course out of kindness. It's not exactly my house. 

"I'd love to but I have a schedule later so I'll pass this one, thanks though and I'll see you later love" hyunjin said with a teasing smile and waved at me as I got in. 

I leaned at the door once I got in then exhaled a deep breath. Fuck that was intense, weird, and a memorable experience. I walked towards my room but stopped when I got a call. 

Incoming call: Binnieツ

I forgot about him. 

Notes:

hey! how are y'all? Sorry about that very short update! I'll make it up soon.

What do you think about hyunsung's first meet??