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like most things, it starts with namjoon.
and by that, yoongi means that namjoon comes bursting into his studio in a flurry of uncoordinated limbs and a shout of his name, tripping over the shoes that yoongi had just left scattered in front of the door (it was eight p.m. on a wednesday, who the hell was going to come looking for him? namjoon, apparently.) and nearly faceplanting right into the carpeted floor, turning at the last moment to just hit the ground with a resounding thud that shakes the things on yoongi’s desk. he blinks.
“you have too much muscle, namjoon-ah.” yoongi says. he gets a grunt in response.
more movement by the door grabs yoongi’s attention, his gaze snapping in its direction where jung hoseok currently stands, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest and an amused look on his face.
“hi,” yoongi settles for, glancing back down at namjoon, who’s slowly collecting his limbs beneath him to just roll onto his back and stare up at the ceiling. “how can i help you at eight o’clock on this lovely wednesday evening?” he glances at the clock on his laptop again, as if the time will have drastically changed since the last time he looked at it (the laptop he’s just been staring at listlessly for the past however long it’s been).
“you need to come to this party with me.” namjoon says, and instantly yoongi pulls a face. a party full of drunk and sweaty undergraduates and loud music, probably full of the billboard top 200 (which yoongi doesn’t have anything against, it’s just that there should at least be some variety at a party for musically inclined students) and shitty alcohol is absolutely not up any of yoongi’s alleys, not that he has many to begin with.
he’d much prefer to remain shut in his studio, hunched over his laptop and keyboard, spitting out bars and writing lyrics in the recording booth, nitpicking at everything that he comes up with or curled up in his bed pretending like he doesn’t exist.
“please, hyung?” namjoon pleads. “taehyung’s gonna be there.”
“and why do i have to be there if taehyung’s there?” yoongi asks. he and namjoon have been over this several times. taehyung is absolutely down to clown and is disgustingly in love with namjoon and yoongi has no idea how namjoon doesn’t see it. “why don’t you take hoseok with you instead? he’s livelier at parties than i’ll ever be.” yoongi gestures to the man in question.
“i’m here for moral support.” hoseok provides.
“go be his moral support at the party.” yoongi narrows his eyes.
“i’m his moral support to ask you to be his moral support.” hoseok shrugs. “besides, i’m going on a date. so i can’t. i also heard from taehyung that his best friend is going with him to the party.” that has yoongi’s brow lifting, curious.
yoongi sort of remembers the first time he’d heard about taehyung’s best friend. it had been at the beginning of the year, his first year of his master’s degree. every department has a meet and greet party every year so the freshmen can meet their upperclassmen and the upperclassmen can establish some connections to their revered guests, ranging from producers to higher-ups of entertainment companies. he still sort of can’t believe that he was able to speak to and shook hands with several well-known producers.
it had been a handful of months ago, but yoongi remembers how taehyung had found him almost immediately, excitedly telling him that his best friend had just recently transferred to their university and was now his roommate. he was a vocal performance and dance double major but had a keen sense for producing and mixing, so taehyung was certain that they’d get along with each other.
gguk has a great ear for music, and sure, he ’s sort of a top 40 slut, but he really likes obscure music too.
when yoongi had asked if taehyung’s friend was here, the younger boy had deflated, just a little bit, and admitted that he’d tried to drag him along, tried to convince gguk-ah to come, but wasn’t able to find him when the time came.
yoongi had told taehyung that maybe they could try to meet up at another time, and then namjoon showed up so yoongi slipped back into the crowd and towards the bar to avoid having to witness their awful push and pull mutual pining. at least he’d been able to speak with a few producers one on one, felt flustered by the praise they had for his tracks and mixtapes, uncertain how else to react.
the few times that yoongi had swung by taehyung and jimin’s apartment, the younger boy was never there or his bedroom door was firmly shut and one of the other two would put a finger to their lips, telling yoongi to be quiet. they explained that gukkie was always at the gym or in the studio, and if he wasn’t there, he was studying in the library or sleeping.
later, yoongi found out that the reason why taehyung couldn’t find his best friend was because he went to go hide on the fire escape. which, okay, wow, because yoongi knows that the fire escapes are notoriously known for being a bitch to get onto, so this kid must be pretty agile.
yoongi doesn’t actually know his actual name, he’s only ever heard him be referred to as gguk-ah or gguk, and he’s never really bothered to ask. maybe he’ll ask when they first meet.
“what does taehyung’s best friend going to this party have to do with me?” yoongi asks, finally, even though he himself is a little nervous, maybe a little excited at meeting this person.
“hasn’t he wanted you to meet him in ages?” namjoon asks. that’s true.
“i guess so.” yoongi frowns.”
“c’mon, hyung, you haven’t been out recently.” namjoon pleads.
“namjoon, i came out of the closet when i was thirteen. i’ve been out for eleven years, the fuck do you mean.” yoongi mutters. hoseok barks out a laugh and namjoon lets out an aggrieved sigh. “besides, i’m not dressed for a party.” he gestures to himself.
“you look hot,” namjoon shrugs. “besides, i doubt anyone would care. the music department kids fucking love you.”
“they like agust d,” yoongi corrects.
“agust d is you. they love the stuff you put out as suga, too.” hoseok huffs. “besides, you always carry some makeup in your bag and you have the steadiest fucking hands i’ve ever seen so you can just do it in the car.”
“i’m not getting out of this, am i?” yoongi asks with a slight sigh.
“nope,” hoseok says cheerfully.
so yoongi finds himself in the passenger’s seat of hoseok’s car, applying eyeliner and kohl and eyeshadow in the tiny little mirror on the sun visor, with namjoon in the back and along with hoseok, rapping along (screaming) to cypher, a track that the three of them had thrown together back when yoongi was a junior and the others sophomores and it’s sort of become an anthem on their campus, much to their horrified glee.
when hoseok drops them off on the edge of campus, there are already several townhouses in full swing, bass boosted music rattling the sidewalk. yoongi’s already feeling apprehensive about this whole thing, hands shoved into his pockets.
“it’s gonna be fun, hyung,” namjoon says, already bouncing on the balls of his feet, excited. yoongi doesn’t even get much of a chance to say anything else because namjoon is knocking on the door. it opens almost immediately and they’re greeted by lisa.
“oh! you guys made it, welcome!” she beams, throwing the door open to let them in. namjoon almost immediately ditches yoongi and he makes a face, lisa letting out a delighted little laugh. “i’m surprised you’re here, yoongichi. you’re not much of a party person.”
“i’m not,” yoongi shakes his head, raising his voice to speak a little bit louder. “namjoon and hoseok convinced me to come.” lisa arches a brow at that.
“well, there’s alcohol in the kitchen. i’m needed to go play beer pong, again. enjoy yourself!” she taps his shoulder gently before she’s slipping away.
yoongi sighs, making his way towards the kitchen, only stopped a few times by some of his current classmates and some underclassmen, some asking him how he’s doing and others complimenting his work as suga, because they don’t know (for certain, at least) that he’s agust d, revered and almost worshipped artist on their campus with namjoon, rap monster, following closely behind.
he gets approached a couple more times, for other reasons, ignores the sultry looks thrown his way, the not so subtle leans into him, the flirtatious touches that sort of make his skin crawl, the way he turns his body to ward off the touches in a way that seems casual, a silent rejection. it’s not that yoongi’s never dated before; he had the unfortunate pleasure (he doesn’t know how else to explain it) to date kim seokjin, campus heartthrob (even though he’s not even a student anymore) and also rapidly rising actor and model.
they were friends first. yoongi’s not a very tactile person. he likes physical touch, sometimes craves it, but it has to be the right kind. sometimes the simple touch of fingers to the back of his hand to get his attention has his skin crawling and other times he just wants to burrow into the warmth of someone else’s arms.
seokjin was patient, always patient, never pushed yoongi for more, was always just content with what they had. he’s not sure how their friendship developed into a relationship, but he thinks that he might have kissed seokjin first. either way, they’re better off as friends now, and seokjin never fails to tease yoongi light-heartedly about how much of a power couple they could’ve been.
that being said, yoongi’s really never been interested in relationships, in romance, never really felt very attracted towards someone, never shared thoughts or opinions on what celebrity or classmate was more attractive, sometimes even getting weird looks when he would shrug and say he didn’t care when the questions were directed towards him. he likes having sex on occasion, but he doesn’t need it. admittedly, he mostly likes making sure his partner feels good rather than focusing on his own pleasure and he’a damn good at it. and he’s content with knowing that he’s probably aromantic and asexual, but, but,
he’s probably been here for about an hour now, already having finished his drink twenty minutes ago, when he sees him.
there, in the corner of the living room, half hidden in the shadows and visible when the strobe lights flicker over him, is probably the most attractive man that he’s ever seen in his life. if yoongi’s being honest with himself, he can’t really see the man’s features from this far away, but there’s something about him that just draws yoongi in. it’s pretty clear that he’s not a big party person either, hunched in on himself and staring at his phone, a cup in his hand.
so yoongi makes his way over, namjoon and taehyung in the back of his mind, and a small smile quirks at his lips when he notices a clip of exo’s love shot chorus choreography playing on loop on the young man’s phone.
“you’re either a really big fan of exo or you’re thinking really hard about something.” the young man jolts at yoongi’s voice, as if he’d been stuck in a trance. yoongi watches, a little amused, as the young man’s eyes flick down to his phone, grimaces slightly, then lifts the cup to his lips to drain the rest of it.
“both,” he says, and yoongi thinks that his voice is so, so pretty, lilting and soft and sweet, clear and audible over the chaos in the house. yoongi reaches into his pocket, takes out a push pin, offers it a little awkwardly. then the young man turns his head to look up at yoongi for the first time, and he finds himself floored.
gorgeous, is yoongi’s first thought, then, his eyes. his eyes are fucking massive, probably the size of the goddamn moon, innocent and young, dazzling and sparkling and yoongi could probably get lost in them. he’s pretty sure he already is. he’s enraptured by the slope of the young man’s nose, his strong jawline, his pretty lips with lip rings (oh god, he has lip rings), the piercing just above his left eyebrow, the multiple earrings, some dangling to brush against aforementioned jawline, everything contrasting the boyish charm that clings to him.
his shoulders are broad broad broad, framed very nicely by the oversized denim jacket that he wears, the white shirt that he wears beneath is probably five sizes too big, tucked neatly into a pair of baggy black cargo pants, billowing and loose around what yoongi suspects to be a dangerously trim waist, and yes, yoongi’s a lyricist, he’s a writer, he’s a storyteller, and as fucking cliche as it is, yoongi finds himself at a loss for words.
it’s a little scary, to feel all of these new feelings about a stranger, nonetheless, suddenly swirling around inside of him.
the young man is also just staring up at yoongi with those big wide fucking eyes and yoongi’s not too oblivious to the different kinds of stares he get nor is he shallow, but he’s pretty sure that he’s getting checked out too. it makes him feel warm all over.
“um,” the young man says, just staring staring staring at yoongi, and when yoongi arches a brow, he blushes beautifully. “just. thinking.”
he’s cute.
yoongi leans against the wall next to him, his heart thumping a little faster in his chest, excited, maybe a little nervous, and he can still feel that wide-eyed stare, a little awed, a little heated, and it’s so different from the stares he gets from his underclassmen, from the others who stare at him because they know who he is, because they like the yoongi that is portrayed through his music, they like the yoongi that they don’t actually know.
“see something that you like?” yoongi asks, feeling the back of his neck heat, sort of hates the way his voice comes out a little shy and breathy, tongue flicking out to run along his lower lip, trying to curb his anxiety. he’s never properly flirted before, so he’s not certain what he’s supposed to do. he fiddles, fingers reaching up to mess with his hair, but he’d forgotten that hoseok had helped him tie most of it back so he can’t really do anything with his hands so he drops them and the longer that the wide-eyed silence continues, the warmer his face feels.
“yeah,” the young man blurts, and yoongi blinks, pleased. “um. you’re really pretty.” and oh, yoong’s stomach flutters. then, “sorry, was that too forward?”
yoongi stares at him. he’s unable to keep the small bout of laughter from bubbling up his throat, because this young man is worried about being too forward when yoongi was the first one to see him, the first one to approach, the first to flirt. if there’s anyone being too forward, it would be yoongi. yoongi, who has very little relationship experience, yoongi, who’s never really shown interest in anyone ever before. it feels laughable. but the young man doesn’t seem to be worried about that; in fact, he looks much more concerned that he might be offending yoongi that it makes him feel horribly horribly endeared.
“no,” yoongi clasps the back of his neck, his laugh a little nervous, a little shy. “i did ask.”
“you’re very pretty,” the young man says, sounding very earnest and genuine and yoongi burns. he figures he can be bold, be a bit braver, so he glances over and deliberately drags his eyes over the young man, head to toe, slow and lingering, tells him, “you’re not so bad yourself,” and watches the pretty blush bloom on his face.
the young man continues to stare. it’s not uncomfortable, it’s a sweet sort of thing, like he’s trying to figure yoongi out, like yoongi has captured his attention and doesn’t want to let it go quite yet. it sort of makes yoongi feel like art. he’s sweet, so sweet and so kind, so earnest it hurts, just a little. yoongi hears him murmur, lips parting, breathing out a pretty, pretty, pretty, so effortlessly pretty, turns to him, still shy and breathless, looks at the subtle makeup that accentuates the young man’s features, thinks he’s pretty, pretty, pretty, so effortless pretty, too.
yoongi hasn’t had anywhere near enough alcohol to feel affected by it, but it’s clear that the man in front of him has had enough to lose his proper filter and the others around them to lose their basic motor skills. yoongi’s just about to straighten up and ask if the young man would like to join him for a breather (with no other intentions, because consent is sexy sexy for yoongi, and maybe he wants to be able to see what he looks like halo’ed beneath the lights outside.
it happens too fast for him to fully comprehend, getting shoved abruptly and toppling over into the young man. heat coils in his gut when he feels thigh muscles tense beneath him, the little grunt of surprise and slight exertion as the stranger keeps himself braced up against the wall to support yoongi’s weight, now suddenly in his lap. yoongi’s hip barely grazes his clothed abdomen, but he can feel the heat, can tell that there’s plenty of toned muscle beneath.
yoongi’s hands flutter uselessly, flustered, for several moments before they rest on the young man’s shoulders, broad shoulders, strong shoulders, feels his breath hitch when warm and steady steady hands press into his back, to his thigh. it’s strange to feel this warm, to feel this tugging low in his gut, unfamiliar but not entirely unwelcome.
he should move. he should really really move, but he’s so warm, feels safe cocooned in these arms, feels the way fingers tighten in the fabric of his jacket, as if wordlessly asking him to stay there. he’s staring at yoongi with those big sparkling doe eyes, cheeks so prettily flushed, that warm and yearning gaze tracing over his features, dipping down to his lips. yoongi is half in this man’s lap and he doesn’t even seem to be struggling. and that’s– that’s. fine. something. wonderful.
and when one of his own songs comes on, when everyone starts chanting his name, chanting agust d, agust d, the desire to get the hell out is so much stronger. he couldn’t give a fuck if namjoon wants him to stay, he’d feel a little bad about not meeting taehyung’s best friend after months of trying to find a time for them to meet, but it probably won’t be long before they come to find him.
so when the stranger tells yoongi that he has a headache, voice soft and a little petulant, yoongi jumps at the opportunity.
his name is jeon jeongguk and yoongi learns that when jeongguk has enough alcohol, he says a lot of things that he thinks he’s saying in his head like wow, he’s even prettier in the natural light and oh, did i say that out loud? and hot. and he gets flustered, blushes so pink and genuine at compliments, that he’s a lover and not a fighter, which makes sense, because he seems so soft soft soft despite the slightly intimidating stature.
his name is jeon jeongguk and when he scrunches up his nose or thinks really hard, he looks like a bunny. when he smiles big and bright, his top lip curls up, just a little, and it shows his teeth in an endearing smile, and he has soft hands. those two things are not related, or maybe they are. jeongguk looks like a fighter, but he’s kind and sweet, holds the world gently in his hands, has so much hope in those big big eyes of his.
his name is jeon jeongguk and he’s gorgeous and sweet and shy and he seems to like staring at yoongi’s mouth and yoongi wonders if it would be inappropriate to kiss him.
yoongi’s pretty sure he’s already fallen.
yoongi doesn’t necessarily believe in soulmates, but he’s pretty sure jeon jeongguk comes real damn close to it. yoongi’s a listener, not much of a talker. but if yoongi can get talking about his passions, he’s happy to share. he can tell that jeongguk is the same, adores the fiery spark in his eyes when he gets worked up about something. the wide-eyed look on jeongguk’s face and the way he pursed his lips in though when he’d told yoongi he liked agust d, when he’d asked yoongi what agust d meant by his tongue technology still has the tips of yoongi’s ears burning.
he likes listening to jeongguk talk, likes listening to the sing-song lilt of his voice, thinks that he must have a beautiful singing voice too. something about jeongguk’s story sounds familiar, but yoongi’s too caught up in watching the way jeongguk smiles and goes scrunch-nosed, the way his heart is pitter-pattering erratically in his chest, wondering what has changed in him to want to suddenly get to know this man more, to want to feel his arms around him again, to lean into his warmth and to know what would happen if he were to kiss jeongguk.
he doesn’t entirely expect jeongguk to ask yoongi about himself. jeongguk is less drunk now, but yoongi suspects that the slight permanent flush dusting his cheekbones has nothing to do with alcohol. yoongi likes talking about what he likes to do, but when it comes to talking about himself, yoongi’s not very good at that.
still, jeongguk is sweet and so seriously endearing, determined to not let yoongi brush things under the rug, still rambles and gets lost in his head, and it hurts yoongi, just a little bit, to hear jeongguk call himself a nobody, to second-guess things and yoongi has to make sure jeongguk knows. has to know that yoongi was flirting, that he did find jeongguk attractive, that jeongguk flirting back with him has him flustered, too, that he thinks jeongguk is still charming when he’s slightly more sober, a little more awkward and a lot more shy.
he wonders then, if jeongguk transferred last year, then he must have gone to the music department’s meet-and-greet party. but, “no,” jeongguk says, shaking his head, chewing on his lower lip, tongue playing with that piercing. “i was hiding on the fire escape so taehyung wouldn’t drag me with him.” and–
oh.
“kim taehyung? music performance major and a visual arts minor?” yoongi stares, probably in disbelief. out of all of the people in that crowded house party he could’ve been drawn to, it was taehyung’s best friend, someone he’s never once met or seen photos of. someone he’s always just managed to miss whenever their friends meet up. then it makes more sense, he’s heard taehyung and jimin and namjoon all call jeongguk by gguk and gguk-ah, doesn’t understand why he didn’t register the nickname when he said it himself.
gets a little jealous when jeongguk lights up and demands more information when he discovers (or rediscovers, it seems) that kim namjoon, like kim rap monster namjoon is his best friend’s crush, which first of all, odd, because yoongi would’ve thought that taehyung would’ve told jeongguk who he had a crush on, and second, ouch? yoongi already knows that jeongguk has an adoration for his music as agust d, has already described to yoongi in depth all the parts in agust d that he likes, parts that had him thinking, the lyrics and speed that had him listening in awe, looping verses over and over again, so he wonders why exactly he, as agust d, didn’t get this sort of reaction (but he also knows that the only person who can probably compete with namjoon’s thighs is probably jeongguk himself).
it’s a bit silly, really. and maybe yoongi’s feeling a bit petty, a bit sour about it, but there’s something in him that trusts jeongguk enough with this little secret (a not-so-secret, but one nonetheless), and he’s pleased to note how quickly jeongguk catches onto it, to hear that jeongguk’s been a fan since the very beginning, until– “wait hyung, so you do know what agust d means by his tongue technology, then!”
yoongi sputters as jeongguk cackles in delight, high-pitched and so so happy, obviously very pleased with himself for catching yoongi in his little half truth. jeongguk has plenty of questions about yoongi’s musical process, how he writes lyrics, how he decides what instruments to use to fit the feel, how he decides what stays and what goes. in return, yoongi asks jeongguk about being a vocal performer, about dancing too, and jeongguk admits that he has a cover channel where he’ll sometimes post both dance and vocal covers, promises he’ll show yoongi sometime soon when they both pull out their phones to realize that they’re dead.
that fluttery, warm feeling hasn’t left yoongi since he’d first laid eyes on jeongguk, and it doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. jeongguk seems pretty tentative about physical touch too, sometimes reaches out for yoongi’s sleeve and hesitates, fingers twitching in yoongi’s direction like he’s not certain if he can. yoongi finds himself craving it.
even when they’re walking back to the campus, their shoulders barely brushing, their hands shoved deep into their jackets respective pockets, yoongi wants to reach out to lace their fingers together, has a feeling that jeongguk wouldn’t pull away, lean in further instead. feels warm warm warm, his chest blooming when jeongguk nudges him about twenty minutes after they’ve left the convenience store, blinks lazily at him, tongue flicking out to wet his lower lip.
says, “it wasn’t just drunk me talking, by the way. i really meant it when i said you were the prettiest person i’ve ever seen.” stares at yoongi like he’s everything that he’s ever wanted and will ever need.
“and what if i said that you’re the prettiest person i’ve ever seen?” yoongi returns, unable to stop the slight upturn of his lips, really really hopes that he’s not misreading things between them.
“i would tell you to go look in a mirror,” and there’s that little bunny scrunched nose. they’re quiet again until they hear the scream of jeongguk’s name and then, “fuck.” jeongguk is shedding his denim jacket, revealing very nice and very muscular arms (he thinks he sees tattoos) that has yoongi’s eyes going wide and choking back an embarrassing noise.
jeongguk is fast, practically halfway across the massive field with taehyung chasing behind him when yoongi manages to collect himself and gather up jeongguk’s discarded jacket. he hears them yelling at each other, takes out his phone to turn on the flashlight alongside namjoon as they wordlessly follow the younger pair.
“have a nice time?” yoongi asks, as they hurry through the damp grass.
“yes. looks like you had a nice time too, hyung.” namjoon fires right back.
“touche.” yoongi shrugs. in the distance, there’s a high-pitched shriek and he thinks he sees jeongguk trip and fall onto the ground, taehyung practically tackling him a moment later.
“how’d you find jeongguk?” namjoon adjusts the strength of his phone flashlight.
“just in the corner. i didn’t actually realize it was him until a lot later.” yoongi says.
“you didn’t know that jeongguk was taehyung’s best friend?” namjoon sounds baffled. they’re getting closer now, and yoongi hears jeongguk’s voice, a little wail of, “why would you bite me, i’m baby!” and yoongi sort of has to agree. he also agrees with taehyung’s following comment, but he’s going to carefully tuck those thoughts away for the time being.
“no one’s ever told me his actual name or shown me his face, it was always nicknames.” yoongi rolls his eyes, and goddamn, how the hell did jeongguk and taehyung get so far away so quickly?
“mm, sounds like fate,” namjoon says, and before yoongi can think of something else to say in return, they’ve finally caught up to the other two and yoongi can see that jeongguk has taehyung pinned to the ground with what looks like ease, one hand trapping both of taehyung’s above his head and the other keeping taehyung’s shoulders pinned to the ground, sees the way the light from their phones glances over the curves of muscles and accentuates them and yoongi probably shouldn’t be feeling the sudden surge of warmth that swirls in his gut. because that’s attractive.
yoongi has never considered himself to be into muscles, never thought that he really had a type, but as the night progresses, yoongi’s starting to think that it’s just jeongguk that he’s into. admittedly, yoongi was perfectly fine with the idea of being single for a very long time, struggling to connect emotionally and physically with others, but there’s just something about jeongguk that makes it all seem so easy, and yoongi really really does hope that he’s not setting himself up for heartbreak.
he really does hope, especially when jeongguk turns to him and makes grabby hands, wordlessly asking yoongi to haul him up and yoongi realizes that jeongguk is strong and thick with muscle and taehyung’s comments really aren’t helping either. gets a little bold, feels tingles in his fingertips when he curls them around jeongguk’s wrist to stop him from hurtling himself at taehyung, feels his heart slam against his ribs, sees the way jeongguk’s eyes go a little wide, the blush that dusts the bridge of his nose, feels tingly all over when jeongguk practically burrows into his side.
and yoongi doesn’t have that many friends, but he’s stunned that somehow, jeongguk knows all of them, even more stunned when jeongguk whirls on him when he discovers that yoongi and seokjin used to date, says hyung! like he’s scared he’s not enough, that yoongi had more and could’ve kept it, stares at him with wide eyes tinged with insecurity and yoongi wants to tell him, yearns to reach out and cup his gorgeous face, wants to tell him the words that ache in his gums, threatening to fall from the tip of his tongue, but it’s not the right time, not the right place and yoongi may not have known jeongguk for very long, but he does know that jeongguk deserves everything good.
and yes, jeongguk is soft and loveable, a lover and not a fighter, is cute and gorgeous and handsome and with a bunny scrunched smile, is sweet and intelligent, thoughtful and selfless and it’s been so so long since yoongi’s thought about dating, even longer since yoongi’s wanted someone, wanted anything this bad, and it makes him nervous because these feelings are new, and, “yeah, but jeongguk’s the first person i’ve felt attracted to, both physically and emotionally.” and it’s out there, yoongi’s said it and he can’t take it back, feels his face turn fire fucking red, and he thinks that his heart is beating so fast it’s going to send him into an early cardiac arrest.
jeongguk’s holding his hand still, from when yoongi helped him get up on his feet, and it’s so fucking quiet, it’s like everyone’s been stunned into silence and yoongi’s too much of a coward to look up and just look at what everyone’s doing, what they might be thinking, just stares at his barely visible feet, thankful that his hair is still long enough to cover his face from view. and finally, when it feels like it’s becoming absolutely unbearable,
“take care of him for me, yeah jeongguk?” it’s namjoon, and he’s watching yoongi with a small and soft smile, and even in the dark, yoongi can see the happiness and pride shining in namjoon’s eyes, an i’m happy that you’ve found someone who can make you happy and a i’m proud of you for being brave, for putting yourself out there, and then there’s the gentlest pressure against his cheek and yoongi’s brain sparks out.
he can’t help the noise that escapes his throat, the way he’s suddenly burning up and wanting more, wants to feel jeongguk’s soft soft lips against his cheek again, maybe pressed to the tip of his nose, against his lips, brushing his jaw, anything that jeongguk would be willing to give him. his skin isn’t crawling as jeongguk threads their fingers together, tugging on his hand and shooting him that soft bunny smile. his stomach doesn’t churn at the thought of doing more, doesn’t feel sick when he wonders what jeongguk’s strong arms would feel like wrapped around him, feels almost high and pleasantly buzzed when jeongguk says he wants to take yoongi on a date.
and yeah, yoongi never stood a chance.
“so, hyung,” jeongguk starts, hands tucked behind his back as he scuffs his shoe against the welcome mat before the door of his apartment. “i’ve never, um, really done this before.”
“done what, bun?” yoongi asks, gentle as he reaches up to brush some loose strands of hair away from jeongguk’s face, feels his breath catch when jeongguk nuzzles into the touch, nose barely brushing yoongi’s thumb, pressing against his palm. jeongguk inhales, a little shaky, pauses, then shifts even closer, one of his hands coming up to curl his fingers ever so gently around yoongi’s arm, brings his wrist to his lips and nose, breathes in just a little, has yoongi burning burning burning, breath hitching so loudly that he knows jeongguk has to have heard it.
“you smell really good.” jeongguk mumbles, blinking his eyes open, lashes fluttering against the pale skin of yoongi’s sensitive wrist. he swallows thickly, tongue darting out to wet his lips. jeongguk’s eyes follow the movement, lets out a soft and breathy “hyung,” that’s edged with desperation.
“inside,” yoongi reminds him, tongue thick in his mouth, feeling like his words are too hoarse, too big for him to keep to himself. “let’s talk inside first, yeah, bun?”
“okay,” jeongguk agrees, the word still as breathy as before. he thumbs over yoongi’s pulse once before he turns to the door and punches in the keycode. they toe off their shoes and jeongguk leads them to the couch, where they sit on the cushions facing each other, their hands tangled loosely together between them.
“i know you said that you’ve never really done this before,” yoongi says, staring them off, quiet and a little insecure. he’s the hyung here, he should be the one leading this discussion. “but neither have i,” he fixes jeongguk with a look when the younger opens his mouth, as if to protest. “i came out as bisexual when i was thirteen. it’s changed a little since then, and i’m still figuring things out now.” yoongi admits. “i don’t like labels too much, don’t like putting myself in a box, but for the sake of having a baseline, i’m beneath the aromantic and asexual umbrellas. i’ve never felt a strong romantic or sexual attraction towards anyone before, and the times that i thought i did, they never…” he chews on his lower lip. “they never lasted long.” he says quietly.
he pauses for a moment, grateful that their hands are linked so he doesn’t pick at his skin or his clothes, nerves thrumming beneath his skin when he looks back up, says, “a lot of times, physical touch makes my skin crawl. it’s a weird thing, sometimes it’s just fine and other times it makes me want to claw my nerve receptors off and even then i still feel an uncomfortable phantom touch. sometimes i crave it and then the next second, when i actually get it, i feel ill and twitchy. but,” he says, when he can feel jeongguk starting to pull away, “i don’t know what it is, but there’s something about you that makes me feel at ease. i feel calm. like me.” he flips their hands over, once, twice, goes, “your touch feels soothing.”
jeongguk inhales sharply. “i– thank you for telling me, hyung. for trusting me.” jeongguk murmurs, his thumbs briefly swiping over the backs of yoongi’s hands. jeongguk’s hands are shaking, just a little bit. his throat bobs when he says, “will you tell me if you’re ever uncomfortable? even if you think you might feel it coming on, tell me? i don’t ever want to make you feel like you don’t want to belong in your own body.”
“i will,” yoongi nods, feeling soft soft soft and maybe in love. “i was very comfortable around you tonight, gguk. you’re very sweet.” jeongguk blushes. “i’ll admit that tonight was the first time that i felt a tug,” yoongi continues quietly, lifting one of their laced hands to bring it up to his sternum, where his heart is still pounding steadily against his ribs. “and here, too,” yoongi untangles their other linked hands to press his now freed hand to his stomach, still a little nervous about feeling jeongguk’s touch there because that feels intimate, and reaches back out to link their fingers together, dropping their hands between them.
“oh,” jeongguk breathes, soft and reverent.
“i like you,” yoongi tells him, straightforward, watching those starlit eyes sparkle. “and i would like to try to date you, i just ask that you be patient and understanding, because i’m still trying to work things out.”
“i would like that a lot, hyung.” jeongguk nods. he pauses, tilts his head to the side and furrows his brows. “do… hyung, do you want to try to be friends first? i mean– just in case, like, sometimes people need to get to know the people they’re interested in better, to establish a sort of emotional connection before they feel ready for a relationship.” he blinks big big eyes at yoongi. “i do want to date you, hyung, i think you’re so so pretty and handsome, you’re so smart and you work hard, and you’re very kind. but i’m scared to jump into things and i’ve never dated anyone for real before and so i’m really nervous and i don’t really know how this works.”
“we can be friends first, gguk-ah,” yoongi agrees, trying to coax jeongguk to look up so he can offer him a small smile. “hyung’s new to this too – we can figure it out together, yeah?”
“yeah,” jeongguk breathes. “sounds good, hyung.” he hesitates, stares down at where their hands are tangled together, flips them so yoongi’s wrists are exposed, untangles their fingers so he can brush his thumb against yoongi’s delicate wrist bones, fingers careful and delicate as they untangle his bracelets. “i still want to kiss you, though,” jeongguk admits softly, shy and uncertain, a pout on his lips. yoongi swallows, his throat clicking, and jeongguk looks up and yoongi gets lost in those galaxy eyes.
“we should wait,” yoongi whispers, even as jeongguk tilts forward to knock their foreheads together, gentle and soft. “gguk-ah,” he says weakly, feeling the soft puff of jeongguk’s breath against his lips. his fingers tighten against jeongguk’s.
“i know,” jeongguk whispers right back. he inhales shakily and yoongi can feel the way his body trembles, just a little bit, beneath his touch. “you’re just so…” he trails off with a breathy sigh, and yeah, yoongi can understand. “you’ll tell me?” he says, and at first, yoongi’s confused, not certain as to what jeongguk’s referring to, but then the younger man is carefully untangling one of their linked pair of hands, fingers barely grazing yoongi’s elbow, a tentative touch, and yoongi understands.
“i will.” yoongi says, voice low. “you make me feel like i belong, bun.” he says, and jeongguk makes an almost pained noise in the back of his throat.
“you know,” jeongguk murmurs, “as much as i want to do things right, i really hate myself for suggesting that we take it slow, that we be friends first. i’ve been wanting to kiss you all night. the cheek kisses weren’t enough.” yoongi licks his lips, expels a soft and shuddery sigh.
“maybe just one,” yoongi suggests, even as his voice comes out a little shaky. he swallows thickly. “just one, just tonight.” he can barely hear his own voice, pitched several octaves lower, and then jeongguk’s hands are coming to trail up yoongi’s arms, up his shoulders, slow and tentative, barely brushing touches, eyes flicking over yoongi’s face as if gauging his reaction.
when those hands come up to cup his face, yoongi sighs softly into them, tilts his face to press a kiss to jeongguk’s palm, hears him swallow thickly, lets jeongguk gently tilt his face up, eyes fluttering shut when jeongguk dips his head down. there’s the barest of pressure against yoongi’s lips, a butterfly kiss, and right when yoongi’s about to protest that it wasn’t a real kiss, jeongguk kisses him.
it’s soft, warm and perfect and yoongi feels himself melting into it, letting out a soft hum of contentment. it’s a simple press of their lips, nothing heated, nothing hungry, just exploring and tentative. their lips part with a soft noise and just as yoongi’s about to open his eyes, jeongguk presses their lips together again in another soft kiss. this time, yoongi’s hand comes up to clutch at the crook of jeongguk’s elbow, hears the breathy sigh that escapes jeongguk, pulls back from the kiss with a content smile this time. their foreheads knock against each other.
“wow,” jeongguk whispers.
“wow,” yoongi echoes, reaching up to cup jeongguk’s cheek, much like he did when they were standing outside of the apartment. jeongguk brushes his nose against yoongi’s wrist again, presses a featherlight kiss to it, eyes finally fluttering open. his eyes are soft as they look at yoongi, a blush dusting across his cheeks and nose, and yoongi tucks jeongguk’s loose strands of hair behind his ear.
“okay, a week of getting to know each other before we make the decision?” jeongguk breathes, and yoongi lets out a soft, amused snort.
“it sounds like we’re making a business deal.” yoongi chuckles.
“maybe we are,” jeongguk grins. “i give you a week’s worth of not-dates and you can decide if i’m a worthy candidate at the end. it’s me, i’m the prize. i give you my wonderful company and you get a hot guy who will shower you in compliments in return.” jeongguk tugs at yoongi’s ear, playful.
“looks like i’ve hit the jackpot, then.” yoongi grins right back, warm warm warm, “hyung will pay for our not-dates.”
“will hyung pay if we go on real dates?” jeongguk ponders.
“i guess you’ll have to wait a week to find out.” yoongi reaches up to tweak jeongguk’s nose.
so they go on not dates—
yoongi goes back to his apartment that night (namjoon’s door is closed and he can hear the soft murmuring of voices from behind it), goes to sleep with a soft smile on his face and a new number in his phone. he goes to his classes the next day, buries himself in work in the studio for a couple of hours, jolting when his phone buzzes from jeongguk, a text simply asking him lunch, hyung?
they go get ramen, yoongi pays and jeongguk pouts. jeongguk is devastatingly attractive, dressed in an oversized hoodie and baggy black cargo pants, a beanie shoved onto his head of fluffy hair. they go for a walk in the park, both of their hands tucked away carefully in their pockets. jeongguk plays with his lip ring a lot and yoongi fiddles with his bracelets. they talk about everything and nothing, yoongi shares a little bit about what he’s working on in the studio, jeongguk shares a little bit about what he’s been working on choreography wise with jimin.
yoongi shyly invites jeongguk to come back with him to the studio to get some work done, asks if jeongguk wants to see and jeongguk lights up like the night sky.
and they keep going on not dates—
they get lunch together, sometimes get dinner too, they work together in silence in yoongi’s studio or even jeongguk’s bedroom, sometimes the library when they want a change of pace. they take walks around campus, go on late night convenience store runs when they can’t sleep because they’re both insomniacs with a fucked up circadian rhythm. jeongguk sometimes links their pinkies together when they walk, sometimes brushes their shoulders together, always looks at yoongi so so fond, and yoongi can only look back and know that his feelings have only gotten stronger.
and they start to be a bit more brave—
yoongi gathers the courage to invite jeongguk to stay the night about four days into their friendship, having stayed up in the living room having a ghibli movie marathon. it’s four thirty-two in the morning and jeongguk is nodding off against yoongi’s shoulder. he offers his bed to jeongguk, tells him that he can take the couch, but jeongguk lets out a little yawn and does a little stretch before he curls back up into himself, blinks sleepily up at yoongi, tells him quietly and shyly that they can share, because, because friends can do that, right? because jeongguk and taehyung are best friends and they share a bed sometimes, and then jeongguk’s eyes go a little wide as if he’s realized something.
says, “only if hyung is comfortable with that. hyung can say no, or– or if he says yes and then changes his mind, he can push me off, and–” and yoongi lets out a little soft laugh, so painfully endeared by the big doe eyes, tells jeongguk that he will be okay, that he’s liked curling up next to him while watching movies, that jeongguk is a comforting warmth, admits that he sort of wants to know what it feels like to be wrapped up in jeongguk’s arms because they look safe and warm and jeongguk goes soft soft soft, says, “oh,” so quiet and breathy and lets yoongi tug him to his feet and lead him down the hall. yoongi has never slept better.
and soon it’s been three weeks and they haven’t really talked about it yet, but yoongi knows that something’s there, that they both know something’s there and they’re trying to find the right time to say something.
and so jeongguk invites yoongi over to a small halloween celebration he, taehyung and jimin are going to be hosting, tells him that namjoon will probably tell him to come because taehyung’s inviting him. tells him that hoseok and maybe even seokjin will be there (he giggles that cute little laugh, nose doing that bunny scrunch when yoongi’s face does a thing. he doesn’t mind seokjin, honestly, considers him a great friend, but he could do without a night of relentless teasing he knows he’s going to get) and that he would really like it if yoongi came, but if it’s not his scene, then that’s okay too.
yoongi asks jeongguk if there will be dancing. jeongguk says that he, jimin and hoseok will be challenging everyone to a just dance battle. yoongi asks if there will be alcohol instead, and jeongguk laughs. says, “you’ll have to come to the party and find out, hyung.” and yoongi agrees.
yoongi should not have agreed to this. he’s currently standing in front of jeongguk and taehyung and jimin’s apartment door after a long group lyric writing session in the studio with lisa and jihyo, dressed in all black clothing, tight black clothing, black cat eats, a black tail attached to the back of his pants and a little triangle nose and whiskers, drawn on his face with eyeliner. his eyeliner is slightly winged, giving his eyes a more feline look but he feels ridiculous and lisa and jihyo are next to him dressed as belle and aurora.
“you look cute, yoongichi.” lisa grins at him. “gguk’s going to be all over you.”
“shut up,” yoongi bites, cheeks heating. he can hear the american halloween party music already, hears some other music beneath it and some yelling from beyond the door and before he can even think about making an excuse to get out of it, jihyo’s ringing the doorbell.
“hi, hyungs!” taehyung is the one who opens the door and yoongi catches a glimpse of jeongguk, namjoon, jisoo and nayeon in front of the television, having, as jeongguk said that they would, a just dance battle. he can’t really tell who’s winning. “aw, kitty hyung’s cute,” taehyung adds with a shit-eating grin, yoongi flipping him off.
they shuffle inside and seokjin spots him from across the room, a shit-eating grin splitting his face as he lifts his can of beer, shouts yoongi! and jeongguk whirls around, halfway through their song, gasps out a hyung! and his face splits into that big wide bunny smile and he vaults himself over the couch with ease (and yoongi’s heart does a weird pitter patter at that) and ignores the others’ protests to wrap yoongi up in a hug, smushing their cheeks together briefly.
yoongi doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry that jeongguk’s dressed up as a bunny, the ears completely askew atop his head, bobby pins barely keeping them in place. yoongi pulls away just a little bit and feels his breath hitch when he takes in what jeongguk’s wearing; very nicely fitting gray sweatpants and a very fitted white muscle top beneath a baggy gray zip-up sweater, half undone and hanging loosely over his broad shoulders. the bridge of his nose amd the apples of his cheeks are dusted in pink glitter, an even pinker triangle drawn on his nose, with little whiskers on his face.
“hi, bun.” yoongi says quietly, smoothing his fingers through jeongguk’s messy hair, fixes his bunny ears, resists the urge to smooth his palms over jeongguk’s bared skin. “having fun?”
“mhm!” jeongguk nods, big and bright, and yoongi can tell that he’s drunk a little bit. he hears seokjin whining for him and rolls his eyes, pats jeongguk on the ass, playful but firm, nearly falters when his fingers brush what’s unmistakably a cottontail attached to his pants, much like yoongi’s cat tail, something that he managed to miss earlier.
“go back to your game, bun.” yoongi tells him, bumping their foreheads together as jeongguk makes himself small in yoongi’s arms, burrowing into him. “i think seokjin wants to talk to me.” he catches seokjin’s eye from across the room, clocks the arched brow, the curious and almost flabbergasted expression.
“but hyung’s here.” jeongguk mumbles, just as namjoon and the others let out a victory cry as the round finishes, hears something about we should thank yoongi for showing up and giving someone else a chance to win, but then jeongguk’s lifting his head to bump their noses together. “kitty hyung’s so pretty,” he says.
“yeah, gguk-ah?” yoongi hums, a smile tugging at his lips. “my pretty bun.”
“yours,” jeongguk agrees, nuzzling his head beneath yoongi’s chin. it has to be uncomfortable, the way jeongguk is practically folding himself in half to fit himself into yoongi’s space, and it takes several moments for yoongi to register jeongguk’s admission, feels himself burn bright.
“ggukie!” jimin shouts from across the room, waving his bottle of soju in the air. “if you’re not gonna play, give the remote to someone else! that someone meaning me, by the way.” jimin’s dressed as… yoongi’s not quite sure, really.
yoongi’s not certain how he missed it (quite possibly because his eyes gravitated immediately towards jeongguk) but jimin’s dressed in a godawful combination of clothing; a bright tie-dye long sleeved shirt with blues and greens and pinks and purples beneath an orange and yellow and white hawaiian short sleeved shirt, and black and red plaid patterned khaki shorts, knee high white socks and yoongi sees a pair of slides kicked off to the side, has an inkling that those are what jimin’s choice of shoe is despite living in the apartment they’re all currently in.
“let me talk with hyung, yeah?” yoongi murmurs, dipping his head low to speak to jeongguk. he cards his fingers through jeongguk’s hair, or what he can of it, anyways. “hyung will give you more cuddles when he’s done.”
“okay,” jeongguk nods, pulling himself out of yoongi’s arms to press a kiss to his cheek, has yoongi’s lips turning up into a big gummy smile and then jeongguk turns to vault himself back over the sofa, one of his bunny ears smacking namjoon in the face.
“am i hallucinating?” seokjin teases, the moment yoongi’s sat down next to him with a bottle of soju in his hands. yoongi scrunches his nose up, brings the bottle to his lips. seokjin’s expression goes softer. “you look really happy. i’m proud of and even happier for you, yoongichi.” seokjin bumps their shoulders together, gentle.
“thanks,” yoongi says, shy and relieved. “he’s…” he trails off, glancing up at jeongguk, grinning big and wide as he destroys the others in the game based on the yells and scores on the screen.
yoongi sees jennie and tzuyu standing a little off to the side, talking with hoseok and jimin, is relieved to note that they really did just invite their close friends. sees lisa going to greet one of their friends, part of a relatively prolific trio of young producers in their university, rapidly growing in popularity as they rack up views and establish a fanbase.
they’re in the music production program, bang chan (or christopher, yoongi remembers the younger man introducing himself with both names), seo changbin and han jisung (who looks like he’s barely old enough to be in college, until yoongi remembers from the meet-and-greet department party, how bang chan said his younger brother got his high school diploma at sixteen). he makes a mental note to say hello to them later.
“he’s good, isn’t he?” seokjin asks, leaning back into the couch as they watch their four friends dancers before them, jeongguk, nayeon and jisoo much more fluid than namjoon, but at least namjoon’s trying his best. “he’s sweet. he actually came to talk to me about you.”
“oh,” yoongi’s not sure what to say about that.
“it was quite cute.” seokjin gives yoongi an encouraging smile. “i won’t say anything because i don’t want to ruin things for him, but just know that he likes you a lot.”
“i like him a lot,” yoongi admits. “it’s…” he chews on his lower lip. “no offense, hyung, but it’s a lot different than what i felt when we were together.”
“yah,” seokjin whacks yoongi’s arm. “i’m an amazing boyfriend, thank you very much.”
“i know,” yoongi grins, wry. “i just don’t think we fit. when i was with jeongguk the first night that we met, it was like everything in my head went quiet. i didn’t really have to think about things, i just felt them and i didn’t panic about it like i usually would. we held hands and it didn’t feel like there was an itch beneath my skin. it was– it was good. really good.” yoongi says, all in one breath.
“that’s incredible, yoongi.” seokjin says, voice soft soft soft, eyes shining with something that looks a bit like pride. “i’m glad that you’ve found someone who you fit with.” yoongi’s eyes slide back over to jeongguk. they’re picking a song, scrolling through the options, and jeongguk must feel yoongi’s eyes on him because he lights up and offers a scrunch-nosed smile, tilts his head at seokjin, as if asking if he can come over yet. yoongi’s fond fond fond.
“me too,” yoongi murmurs, lifting his free hand to crook his fingers in jeongguk’s direction.
“hoseokie-hyung, your turn!” jeongguk crows, ignoring jimin’s yell of indignance, tossing the controller onto the other couch before he bounds over and practically just crawls into yoongi’s lap, folding himself small small small so he can burrow into yoongi’s arms, careful of the bottle. “hi, hyungs.” jeongguk says, tucking his feet beneath the couch cushions, resting his head against yoongi’s shoulders, the bunny ears brushing the back of yoongi’s neck.
“hey, gguk.” seokjin grins, eyes crinkling at the edges. “have you been taking care of yoongi?”
“yes,” jeongguk sighs happily. “make sure that hyung eats and sleeps and gets out of his studio to go on walks. but hyung likes to take care of me, too.”
“yoongi’s a very doting hyung, isn’t he?” seokjin huffs, patting jeongguk’s knee.
“mm.” jeongguk hums, sneaking an arm around yoongi’s body to hold him. yoongi loops one of his own arms around jeongguk’s trim waist, tugs him a little closer, rearranges him so the cottontail isn’t digging into his thigh or jeongguk’s tailbone. jeongguk wiggles in his lap, gets more comfortable, smacks a quick peck to his cheek.
“i’ll leave you two to catch up,” seokjin winks, and yoongi rolls his eyes even though he knows that the blush on his cheeks must be evident. “let’s get a coffee sometime, yoongichi, yeah? it’s been a while.”
“text me,” yoongi nods, and seokjin dusts his palms off on his thighs and stands up, goes over to talk to taehyung and jihyo, jimin now over with hoseok. “hey, bun,” yoongi says again, brushing his nose against jeongguk’s cheek. “how much did you have to drink?”
“not a lot,” jeongguk wrinkles his nose. “just a couple shots. might’ve took them too fast though.”
“you seemed pretty steady when you were dancing.” yoongi points out. jeongguk tilts his head up, lips parting in a gasp like he’s just realized something.
“hyung saw me dance for the first time.” he says, eyes crinkling. “was i good, hyung? huh? was i?”
“amazing, baby.” yoongi says, the little term of endearment slipping out. jeongguk shudders in his arms, lets out a happy little sigh and shifts his arm to loop it around yoongi’s neck instead, reaches up with his free hand to tug at the bunny ears, making a noise of frustration at the bobby pins keeping it in place. “gguk, gguk-ah,” yoongi says, laughing a little. jeongguk pouts at him.
yoongi sets his bottle aside and coaxes jeongguk to sit up a bit so yoongi can carefully take out the bobby pins, sets them and the headband aside and jeongguk curls into him right away.
“hyung, i have a recital soon. you can come to it. i want you to see me dance for real.” jeongguk says.
“was this not dancing for real?” yoongi asks, smoothing his fingers through jeongguk’s hair.
“no,” jeongguk huffs, pouts his lips and yoongi can feel the subtle brush of his lips against his neck. it sends a pleasant shiver down his spine, something he tries to suppress but jeongguk feels anyways, feels jeongguk tense a little in his arms, as if afraid. yoongi swallows thickly, feels his pulse start to thunder beneath his skin. he doesn’t say anything, just tilts his head minutely to the side and feels jeongguk’s soft puff of breath, the tentative press of lips against the warmed skin of his throat.
“bun,” yoongi lets out a soft and breathy sigh, hand coming to rest on the small of jeongguk’s back, feels the younger man grow a little bold, peppers soft kisses up the length of his neck, nothing more than just a chaste press of his lips against his throat. his breath hitches when he feels the barest hint of tongue, swallows thickly and tangles his fingers into the hair at the back of jeongguk’s head.
“sorry,” jeongguk exhales, pulling back just a little bit to rest his head on yoongi’s shoulder instead.
“it’s okay,” yoongi murmurs. licks his lips, a little nervous, “i liked it. it felt nice.”
“yeah?” comes jeongguk’s reply, breathy. yoongi hums, low in his throat, tilts his head down to press a tentative kiss to jeongguk’s temple. jeongguk makes a little purring noise in the back of his throat, a happy sigh escaping his lips. he’s gone a little quiet, melting into yoongi’s arms.
about fifteen minutes later, jeongguk is fast asleep against yoongi’s shoulder, his hands tucked in his lap, his own shoulders almost curled in on himself as he snores quietly, a comforting warmth against yoongi’s chest. yoongi cards his hands through jeongguk’s hair, talks with whoever comes over to sit down and chat.
he’s pretty content to just watch everyone cycle through the just dance games, watches as jimin, hoseok, lisa and jihyo all start playing together, watches the way their competitiveness ramps up by several notches, hears the way that the monopoly game across the living room is getting more an more heated by the minute, watches taehyung throw what seems like thirty uno cards in nayeon’s laughing face.
eventually, jeongguk wakes, shifting with a little yawn and blinks sleepily up at yoongi, goes, “did i fall asleep?”
“for a little bit,” yoongi nods, bumping their heads together. “can hyung get up? i need the bathroom and i think everyone wants to play some games with us.” jeongguk pouts, but he lets yoongi up.
they play some card games and a few board games, genuinely just enjoying hanging out with each other to have fun, drink some alcohol (in moderation) and snack on the food that seokjin, jimin and jeongguk had prepared, some of the other dishes brought over by yoongi, lisa and nayeon the day prior. jeongguk sticks close to yoongi for most of the night, fidgeting and always shooting yoongi a bright smile when the older tangles their fingers together.
jimin pulls out what looks like a portable karaoke machine, plugs in microphones and demands that everyone needs to participate. it starts off with nayeon and jihyo singing a duet and then changbin and jisung rapping and singing together as bamg chan watches them with unbridled fondness. jimin and seokjin scream along to lisa’s solo performance and when jeongguk shyly takes the microphone, nudging taehyung’s shoulder, all yoongi can do is stop and stare.
he's heard jeongguk sing a little before, little hums and melodies, but nothing quite like this. yoongi understands now, when namjoon says that jeongguk had taken the vocal performance department by storm; he could listen to jeongguk sing all the time and never tire of it. he wants jeongguk’s voice on his tracks. he threads their fingers together when jeongguk finishes, murmurs soft praise and compliments that have jeongguk blushing to his hairline.
eventually, the attention turns to him, lisa starting the slow chant of agust d, agust d, and he notices changbin and jisung’s wide eyes (they probably didn’t realize until now that yoongi is agust d) and the entire room joins in, namjoon shoving the microphone into his hands with a shit-eating grin. everyone cheers when yoongi hauls himself to his feet, adjusting the stupid cat tail and sees the way jeongguk’s watching him with eyes wide with anticipation.
the same drumbeat starts up, the same song that probably helped kickstart whatever he has with jeongguk, so he wants to do good, wants to make sure he can show jeongguk what he does, how he lets the music transform himself, fiddles with the mic, tilts his head up briefly to slip on a mask fit for a performance and he sees jeongguk’s lips part when yoongi lifts the mic, swipes his tongue over his lips and takes a deep breath before he starts.
namjoon, hoseok, seokjin, lisa and jisoo all join in, yelling out a to the g to the u to the std, and when the verse comes up, everyone goes quieter, yoongi’s certain that jimin’s actually turned it down to hear it better. it’s been a bit of time since yoongi’s performed this song for anyone but he’s relieved that he can fall back into the familiar and easy rhythm of the beat and lyrics.
high off the sudden adrenaline pumping through his veins, he lets himself get dragged into another series of songs with namjoon and hoseok, feels himself blush rather ferociously when he sees the way jeongguk is staring at him (a little dark, maybe turned on, very impressed). they even convince bang chan, changbin and jisung, their little trio called 3racha, to give them a sneak peek of one of their songs on the album, a song called zone. yoongi likes the build-up to the start of the song, likes the way it compliments their voices and phrases, arches a brow at the strong start and the adlibs and emphasis on notes and pitches. he’s heard some of bang chan’s work before and it’s pretty clear that the three of them are going to make it places if they keep working hard.
high off of the happiness skittering over his skin, he lets himself get roped into a couple rounds of just dance, feels his cheeks warm and body tingle when jeongguk’s eyes just follow his every move, slow and lazy and appreciative (adoring, maybe a little hungry and if yoongi emphasizes his body rolls, that’s between himself and god), talks with bang chan briefly about the mini-album that the little trio are just about ready to put out, somehow lets himself be convinced into doing goddamn body shots off of jeongguk.
jeongguk refuses to let anyone force yoongi into doing it, damn near tears because he’s stressed that yoongi’s feeling pressured into it and when yoongi brings him down, hands rubbing gently over jeongguk’s biceps, tells him that it’s okay, tells him shyly that he’d like to, jeongguk looks struck dumb. and when jeongguk ends up popping a boner, staring at yoongi with big wide doe eyes, his shirt half rucked up his chest and stopping beneath the curve of his pecs, the hem slightly damp with alcohol, sweater paws shoved into his mouth, flushed up to his ears and down to his chest, yoongi coaxes him to curl into his lap, bury his face into yoongi’s neck as their friends rib him gently.
if he’s being completely honest, the low thrum of arousal in his stomach was a nice surprise, he doesn’t hate the feeling when he knows that jeongguk felt good, and it hasn’t dimmed. the feel of jeongguk’s heated skin beneath his lips and tongue, the way his muscles twitched and tensed at every touch (admittedly, yoongi was teasing just a little bit, maybe lingering with his touches, maintaining steady eye contact even after jeongguk tilted his head back), the shaky breaths that left his lips and the way his fingers curled so tightly around yoongi’s arm he probably going to have bruises is imprinted into his mind.
“m'sorry, m’sorry,” jeongguk mumbles into yoongi’s skin, still red, red, red.
“it’s okay, bun.” yoongi brushes his nose against jeongguk’s temple, voice a low murmur. “it makes me happy to know i can make you feel good.” jeongguk shudders in his arms, shuffles closer and not so subtly tugs the now fully zipped up hem of his sweater further down his lap. yoongi pretends not to notice.
“hyung,” jeongguk says, pouty.
“yes?” yoongi asks, still rubbing his thumb over the small of jeongguk’s back. they’re in jeongguk’s bedroom now, most of their friends deciding to turn in for the night (yoongi shot a narrow eyed look at lisa and bang chan when they mentioned maybe going back to the studio, ignoring the fact that if he didn’t have a lapful of sweet and sleepy and still slightly horny jeongguk, he’d go back to the studio himself) and the apartment is mostly quiet, save for the low murmuring in the kitchen.
jeongguk blinks up at him, sleepy. “are we– can we date, hyung?” and yoongi feels a small smile splitting his lips.
“yeah, gguk. i think i’d really like that.” jeongguk beams up at him, toothy and bright. “you’re so good, bun.”
“better with you,” jeongguk sighs, snuggling into yoongi’s arms. he pauses, then tilts his head up, cheek squished to yoongi’s shoulder and squints at him. “comfy? sorry, i never asked.”
yoongi tightens his arms around jeongguk, swaying them back and forth enough to hear jeongguk giggle, says, “very comfy.” he presses his nose to jeongguk’s temple, breathing him in. jeongguk’s just about to drift off when there’s a light rapping on the door and then namjoon pokes his head in, expression softening when he takes in yoongi resting against the headboard and jeongguk cuddled up into his lap.
“hey, hyung.” namjoon says, and jeongguk makes a disgruntled little noise. “i’m going to head back to our apartment. are you going to stay?”
yoongi hesitates briefly. it’s still all new with jeongguk, and sure he doesn’t feel like crawling out of his skin, and maybe they’ve shared a bed before but, but–
“no pressure, hyung.” jeongguk tells him, pulling away briefly to cup yoongi’s face, squishing it a little bit and tapping yoongi’s drawn-on kitten nose. “slow and steady,” jeongguk squishes yoongi’s face again, forcing fish lips and yoongi sputters, pulling his head back with a little laugh.
“alright, gguk.” yoongi says, heart beating a steady rhythm against his chest, one that sounds a lot like love. “slow and steady.”
yoongi kisses jeongguk first.
(technically second, if they count the night they met. but yoongi is the first to kiss jeongguk after becoming boyfriends.)
they’re in yoongi’s studio, messing around and jeongguk is behind yoongi’s laptop and mixing table and yoongi is in the recording booth because they’re doing a remix of a pop song for one of jeongguk’s classes and yoongi’s recording a rap verse and jeongguk’s begging him to hear him sing. yoongi can’t sing and he tells him this but jeongguk just pouts and hits the button to just play the track so yoongi just fucking yells into the mic, voice hoarse from the lazy verses sliding off his tongue and then cracking at the sudden change.
jeongguk explodes into laughter, eyes shining so so bright, hiding his smile behind his hands, giggles reaching yoongi’s ears through his headphones as jeongguk presses the button to be heard and yoongi’s heart fucking flutters and he’s sure his hitch of breath is audible and he’s so so taken by jeon jeongguk. he hangs up the headphones and abruptly leaves the recording booth, coming back out into the studio to meet jeongguk’s wide eyes, frozen, as if afraid he may have offended yoongi by laughing.
“wait, hyung, don’t be mad at me for– hrmph?” jeongguk’s panicked words get cut off with a little squeak as yoongi strides over to him, cups jeongguk’s face in his palms and tilts his head up and kisses him. jeongguk melts into it immediately, a soft sigh of contentment escaping his lips, fingers coming up to curl into the fabric of yoongi’s hoodie pocket.
jeongguk’s lips are so soft, the metal of his piercings cool against his mouth and yoongi’s heart is thundering so fucking hard. when he pulls back briefly, jeongguk makes this little confused noise in his throat, brow furrowing and lips pouting and yoongi kisses him again. jeongguk tugs at his pocket, coaxes yoongi to come closer and stand between the younger’s legs, yoongi’s thighs pressing against his chair. they’re close-mouthed kisses, long presses of their mouths together, lips clicking when they part, shaky inhales and exhales before they come closer again, wanting more.
“hyung, hyung,” jeongguk whimpers as yoongi tilts his head further back, pressing a little harder, fingers curling around jeongguk’s ears. yoongi hums softly, warmth spreading through his limbs, kisses jeongguk sweet. he feels jeongguk’s fingers, still hooked into the pocket of his hoodie, as if afraid to touch anywhere else and when yoongi nips lightly at jeongguk’s bottom lip, he feels the younger man jolt, a low and reedy noise sounding in the back of his throat.
yoongi’s been wanting this for ages, since the first night he met jeongguk, since they decided to try being friends first, every time he saw jeongguk afterwards. there’s a low thrumming beneath his skin, but it feels nice, feels like yearning for more, feels a bit like coming home. he pulls back, just a little bit, lets out a soft huff when jeongguk chases his lips, the younger’s hands coming up almost tentatively to curl around yoongi’s elbows, noses at yoongi’s jaw with a needy noise.
“what is it, bun?” yoongi rumbles.
“want you,” jeongguk whines, his eyes fluttering open. his pupils are blown, eyes dark and pleading, pouting up at yoongi. “please?” he blinks a couple of times, rolls his lower lip into his mouth, rings clicking against his teeth. "if– if you also want it.” he adds, ducking his head. yoongi chews on the inside of his cheek.
“i do want more,” yoongi admits, stomach swooping when jeongguk’s head snaps back up and he stares at him with big doe eyes. yoongi licks his lips, jeongguk mimicking the motion, fingers tightening ever so slightly on yoongi’s shoulders. “fuck,” yoongi breathes, tugging jeongguk’s head up again, curling his palms around jeongguk’s neck, fingers sliding into his hair, ducking his head down again.
the kiss is hungrier this time, jeongguk parting his lips on a moan, one that dissolves into a deeper one, throatier, when yoongi swipes his tongue over jeongguk’s lower lip. jeongguk tilts his head, tugs yoongi sharply, causing the older man to tilt forward, hands leaving jeongguk’s body to steady himself on the arm rests of the chair. yoongi doesn’t stop kissing jeongguk, even when jeongguk coaxes yoongi to climb into his lap, straddling jeongguk in the seat, once again able to get his hands back on soft and quickly heating skin.
jeongguk is pliant beneath yoongi, hands falling to his hips, thighs twitching beneath yoongi and yoongi’s suddenly reminded of the night they met, when a stranger had practically shoved him into jeongguk’s lap when the younger man was practically doing a wall sit, how jeongguk had easily held both of their weight. yoongi feels the tentative press of teeth against his lower lip followed by an equally shy swipe of tongue, feels his heart thunder in his ribs as he parts his lips to grant jeongguk access. he hears the little hitch of breath, shifts forward just a little to slant their mouths together more comfortably, and–
oh.
jeongguk whines as yoongi pauses, feeling the hard press of jeongguk against his thigh, the way the younger man pulls back from the kiss to just bury his face into yoongi’s neck with an embarrassed noise, and yoongi’s pretty sure that his brain is rebooting. jeongguk’s this worked up from yoongi kissing him and it does things to yoongi’s brain chemistry.
“gguk,” yoongi says, tugging at jeongguk’s hair. jeongguk makes a pained noise in the back of his throat. “bun,” yoongi tries, unable to keep the smile out of his voice.
“hyung,” jeongguk whines. “it’s embarrassing. it’s– we haven’t even done anything and i’m like this, and– and– ugh.”
“you’re kissing the person that you like,” yoongi nuzzles into jeongguk’s hair. “don’t be embarrassed about feeling good.” yoongi tugs a little harder, hears the hitch of jeongguk’s breath, feels the way his hands tighten briefly on yoongi’s hips, makes a note for it later. “besides,” yoongi murmurs, his voice barely audible with how low it’s dropped, “hyung wants to make you feel good.”
“fuck.” jeongguk whimpers, hips twitching beneath yoongi’s body. “want more, want hyung to make me feel good, want hyung to feel good too.”
“you do,” yoongi presses himself a little closer to jeongguk, hears the gasp when he rolls his hips forward, subtle but there, puts pressure where jeongguk wants it, feels the way jeongguk’s fingers dig into his skin. yoongi’s not sure where the courage came from, his skin is on fire but not in the bad way, it burns so good, and he gets more bold at each tentative press of his hips, feels it trickling through his veins at each little gasp and whine that escapes jeongguk’s lips.
“hyung, hyung,” jeongguk stutters out, tilting his head up and eyes fluttering shut, pleading. yoongi kisses him again, cups the side of his neck with one hand as the other trails down his shoulders, over his chest, fingers barely brushing over jeongguk’s nipples and the moan he gets, the way jeongguk jolts beneath his touch has him doing it again. and again. his thumb presses into it, rubbing, making circles, flicking and teasing until jeongguk’s a shuddering and whimpering mess beneath him. briefly, yoongi wonders if he can get jeongguk to come like this.
when yoongi presses his hips forward again, lets jeongguk feel him too, hears the jeongguk muffle a sob into yoongi’s shoulder, squirming so much beneath him that he nearly dislodges yoongi completely. yoongi seats himself as fully as he can on jeongguk’s lap, settling his weight down on the younger’s thighs.
“baby, gguk-ah,” yoongi breathes, drinking down all of jeongguk’s noises, soothes him and smooths his hands down jeongguk’s shoulders and sides, feels more heat pooling in his stomach, feels the way his pants are getting a little tighter, feels the way jeongguk’s impossibly hard and hot beneath him. “bun,” he kisses him, jeongguk moaning into it, trembling so sweetly beneath him.
“hyung,” jeongguk gasps. “hyung, can i touch? can i touch you?”
“yeah, bun, yeah.” yoongi breathes. “just above the waistband, okay?”
“okay,” jeongguk’s hands are immediately sliding beneath yoongi’s hoodie, still tentative as if waiting for yoongi to tell him to stop. yoongi shudders, jeongguk’s palms are so hot to the touch, rough and calloused, and he feels jeongguk freeze.
“feels good,” yoongi rasps, kissing jeongguk again, slips his tongue into jeongguk’s mouth, hears the melodic moan that escapes his lips. “feel so good, bun,”
“i feel good too,” jeongguk moans. it only takes a couple strokes of yoongi’s tongue before jeongguk is shuddering beneath him, hands gripping at yoongi’s waist so tightly, eyes squeezed shut as he clutches yoongi close.
yoongi strokes his fingers through jeongguk’s hair, pressing gentle kisses to jeongguk’s temple, murmurs gentle praises and comforting words as he helps jeongguk come down from his high. there’s a bright flush riding high on jeongguk’s face and when he finally lifts his head, eyes a little dewy and lips all swollen and bitten, yoongi smiles softly at him.
“hey, bun.” yoongi says, pressing a kiss to the tip of jeongguk’s nose. jeongguk lets out a breathy sigh, tilts his head forward with a murmured and reverent little woah, and yoongi snorts. jeongguk blinks sleepily at him, all lax and boneless from his orgasm, and yoongi kisses his forehead.
“having come in my pants is uncomfortable.” jeongguk mumbles.
“sorry,” yoongi chuckles softly, moving to get off of jeongguk’s lap. jeongguk makes a little noise of protest. “come sit with hyung on the couch.” he helps jeongguk stand up on wobbly legs and guides him over to the couch, patting his thigh. jeongguk goes easily, tucking himself close and yoongi keeps a steady and soothing hand on jeongguk’s back. he knows jeongguk has a change of clothes with him, mostly because jeongguk mentioned he was planning on going to the gym later.
he’s not sure how long they sit there when jeongguk suddenly jolts with a gasp, whirling to stare up at yoongi with big eyes.
“what’s up?” yoongi asks.
“what about you?” jeongguk worries his lower lip. “i– i got off, but you didn’t.”
“i’m okay,” yoongi shakes his head. it’s true. even though he did feel that thrum of arousal in his gut the entire time, even though he did get hard, just knowing that he could make jeongguk feel good was enough for him. he doesn’t think he’d mind it if he tried something more if it was with jeongguk.
“okay,” jeongguk pouts, brow furrowing.
“if hyung wants something at another point, he’ll let you know.” yoongi nuzzles his nose into jeongguk’s cheek. “promise.”
“mmkay.” jeongguk sighs. then, “i really want to change out of these clothes.” he squirms in yoongi’s lap, cheeks still tinged pink and yoongi pretends that he doesn’t see the wet patch.
as jeongguk shuffles into the bathroom right down the hall to change, yoongi grabs his phone to order from jeonggku’s favorite place, greets the younger man with a chaste kiss when he comes back, cheeks still flushed, and curls up into yoongi’s lap.
“i don’t know if you still plan on going to the gym, but i got your favorite takeout.” yoongi says, tilting his head up to look at jeongguk. jeongguk’s eyes crinkle at the edges.
“thanks, hyung.” jeongguk dips his head to press another gentle kiss to yoongi’s lips and yeah, yoongi thinks that he could get used to this.