Chapter Text
Valentino found me late that night. Broken glass from my screen was scattered around my living space in Vee Tower. I relate my stream of consciousness to that of a dream. I could sense Val’s presence, I could hear his high heels colliding with the tiled floor and his far from inaudible dramatic gasp when he saw me, and I knew this wasn’t my imagination. It was somewhat like sleep paralysis in the way that I was awake but immobile. Tino, with his general disregard for my well being, tried to wrench my screen-eyes open, but to no avail, besides for him cutting his finger on the crack. I lay silent for a long time, feeling Valentino carry me bridal style to my couch. He draped me across his lap, stroking my arms and chest. He whispered words of comfort as well as the occasional plea to wake up. I tried my best to tell him I was okay, but I couldn’t move at all. That would have been a lie, anyway, seeing as I was severely injured.
Eventually, but quite painfully as well, whispered brokenly, “...V-Val…?” It was more like a question than a statement.
He jolted, hugging me closer and mumbling, “Voxxy, oh my fucking shit, are you okay…? Jesus Christ…”
It felt nice to be enveloped in Valentino’s embrace. We had fought earlier that week, but I had a feeling we were back together again. I thought it was strange being coddled like this after an injury that wasn’t even his fault for once. I tentatively peeled my eyes open to stare up at him. He looked tired, scared, anxious, and sad. He scrambled for a pillow to prop my head up with. I smiled wearily and leaned into him, squeezing my eyes shut while I tried not to cry. The humiliation of being found and babied like that was embarrassing enough. He embraced me tighter, kissing the top of my screen. My hat had been lost in all the commotion.
“Who did this to you?” Val asked. He bent over me to pet my hip, which felt quite calming.
“...A-Al…” I replied, a stray tear making its way down my face.
Valentino growled softly, glaring down at me. But it didn’t seem like he was mad at me this time. “How dare he hurt my Vox.” He uttered, putting extreme emphasis upon each word. His possessiveness was always reassuring, if not slightly off putting. This time it was very nice to hear. I grinned tiredly up at him, easing a soft smile out of his scowl. “...Aww, you’re adorable…” He whispered. My grin widened, and my confidence increased. I sat up slightly.
“Thanks Val. But, um, y’know how I was gonna ask Alastor to join the Vees?” I questioned.
Valentino nodded. “Yeah.” Realization hit him quickly. “Wait, did he hurt you this badly because of that?!” I couldn’t even catch a hint of his normal flirtatious tone.
“...Well, not exactly.” I said. “I may or may not have asked him…the other thing.”
His eyes widened. “No, you did not…” He chuckled softly. “Did you ask Alastor to join us AND be your boyfriend??”
I grimaced slightly, hearing this out loud made it seem much worse than it felt at the time. I nodded slowly, watching his expression become more and more stressed. I could also see slight amusement, but that’s just Val being Val.
He chuckled softly, whispering, “Vox, you’re such an idiot sometimes…”
I chuckled as well, nodding again. “I feel bad though. I kinda got all weird on him. Like, I was all screamy and upsetti spaghetti.” I joked, trying to lighten the tense mood. I was also trying to ease my strong emotions I was having towards Alastor in the first place. Maybe that…word choice was uncalled for, but then it seemed to fit.
Valentino laughed, shaking his head. “That sounds like you. What did he say when you confessed your undying love~?” Val had regained some of his usual flirtatious mannerisms, which I could appreciate. It made our conversation feel much more natural, specifically less embarrassing on my part. I was still incredibly upset and angry about Alastor, but I tried my hardest not to show it.
“Ah, well…He just insulted me, criticized our brand, and beat me up.” My voice quivered on the last section of my sentence, and I knew Valentino saw right through me. I tried to play it off casually, but it was obvious that a part of me wanted to start sobbing then and there.
Tino frowned, looking in my eyes and seeming genuinely concerned for once. He sighed. “Hey, Vox…? I know I’m usually not this, uh…nice…or caring…towards you…and, I guess I probably won’t stop…” He took a sharp inhale. “...punishing you…like that…so I guess I’m sorry for that…but, my point is…” He took a deep breath, and my expression drastically softened. Valentino had never said that to me before. Even if his word choice wasn’t all that great either, I knew he meant it. I nodded, waiting for him to continue.
Val sighed again. “Ah..Anyway, my point is that I suppose Alastor was being a bit cruel towards you. And I know this is slightly hypocritical of me, seeing as I have been even more harsh than he has, but you didn’t really deserve that. So that sucks.” He rushed at the end of his sentence, and I could tell that was hard for him to say. I nodded again, smiling softly this time.
“Thanks, Val. I appreciate that. Wanna sleep with me tonight? Not in that way, just…cuddle?” I asked wearily, closing my eyes as I was too tired to move.
He grinned and nodded. I had a feeling this was going to turn less wholesome than I had hoped, but thankfully I was wrong. He threw me carefully over his shoulder and took us to his bed. I giggled for a moment when he put me down, noticing he still had his four throw pillows embroidered with the words, “cum,” “sex,” “kink,” and “daddy.” But that’s just Val being Val. He followed my gaze towards the pillows as well, and giggled along with me.
“They’re my prized possessions,” Tino chuckled. I chuckled, too.
After he set me down, he grabbed a T-shirt and a hoodie from the back of his closet, throwing neon pink lingerie across the room as he searched for sweatpants. I giggled again, remembering that Val had a favorite pair of pajama pants he always wore. I settled into the bed as he came back with them, throwing the T-shirt and sweatpants at my face to stifle my laughter. He changed into his hoodie and pajama bottoms, and I would be a liar if I said I didn’t watch him as well. Valentino put his hands on his hips and went into his bathroom to get a first aid kit. He set it down next to me on the bed.
“This may hurt a bit, kay?” Valentino asked, raising a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and a few cotton balls.
I nodded, wincing slightly when it touched my skin. He rubbed it softly, drying it off with a washcloth and warm water.
As he did so, he muttered, “You’re okay, stay strong, I know it hurts, baby~...”
I tried to keep a straight face, but hissed louder than I intended when he cleaned the largest wound across my chest. He kissed the side of my screen, whispering, “Almost done, honey~...”
He eventually finished, letting me go limp in his arms. I tried not to make eye contact with him, but we both knew how much that had hurt me.
Val hugged me for a while. “Alright, Voxxy. I’m gonna need you to lift your arms so I can take off your dress shirt.” He said.
I frowned for a moment, attempting to take off my own shirt, but that just ended with me toppling to the side. He chuckled, slightly worried. I looked incredibly silly to say the least.
“Vox, can I help, please?” Valentino asked.
I reluctantly nodded, raising my arms as high as I could without it hurting too bad. He sighed softly and wrestled my shirt off my body. I whimpered softly a few times when the fabric brushed against some nasty wounds, but other than that it went pretty well. He looked down at me for a moment before taking off my pants as well with slightly less trouble than before. I panted heavily for a while, the pain starting to creep back up on me. Valentino seemed to notice and kissed me on the screen-forehead, which felt nicer than I’d care to say out loud. I sighed, much to Val’s delight, making us both laugh again. Valentino in a hoodie and pajamas next to me in my underwear seems interestingly suggestive. Luckily, Val didn’t take advantage of me and helped me put on the rest of my comfy clothes. Tino layed down and I snuggled into him to the best of my ability. I sighed, draping my arm across his torso. We sighed in unison, him cuddling me as the big spoon, and me as the little spoon. That’s what we usually did, and that’s what we liked. We slowly drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms.
“.....Mm…..hey baby…~?”
I scoot slightly closer to the deep voice, whispering groggily, “H-hm?” I frown slightly, not wanting to wake up from that dream I was having. I still kinda like reliving when Alastor left. Momentary peace I guess.
A sigh from the opposite side of the bed blows air in my face as Valentino scooches closer to me, too. “You should probably wake up now, honey~”
“Val, I’m too tired…” I mumble.
He chuckles, cupping my screen-cheek with his right hand. “Ah…I understand, but I really usually don’t wake up before you most of the time~...How’d you sleep last night~?”
I shrug, whispering, “Not good I guess.”
He chuckles again, quieter this time. “Look at me, hun~”
“Nooooo…..” I whine, leaning closer to him.
Valentino giggles, first almost silently, but slowly growing louder. I stay still because I’m still pretty tired. He keeps laughing and laughing, so I ask, “...W-what’s up?”
He finally stops, which makes me kind of relieved, but even more intrigued. He mumbles, “Your screensaver…~”
I grow slightly embarrassed, remembering that when I sleep, my screen shuts off. So my face is replaced with a black background with a white “VoxTex” bouncing around. I giggle softly as well, finally opening my eyes as my regular face appears again. Val looks like he’s about to explode with all the laughter he’s holding in. He also looks quite sweet like this. I smile gently, leaning into the hand he has on my shoulder. “...How long were you watching the logo move around on my face?” I ask, giggling softly as I do so.
He blushes slightly, chuckling, “Longer than I care to admit~”
We both laugh at that, me leaning forward to actually cuddle with him. We lay like that for a few moments before he whispers, “You know I hate to be the one to say this, babe, but you need to go to work now.”
I whine quietly, not wanting to leave. “Val, I don’t wanna go~…….”
He nods, smirking down at me. “Wanna finish what we started last night instead~?”
My eyes widened, immediately shaking my head half humorously and half seriously. ‘Ha, NO THANK YOU. I actually did finish. 10 fucking times. And you asked me how I slept, weirdo…Of course I’m tired after that.”
He laughs, chortling, “I had almost forgotten about that~! Yes, you were rather drained after the whole…thing that happened~...” Val trails off, probably remembering the entire ordeal. He winks at me, making me stick out my tongue at him in playful annoyance.
“Oh fuck you,” I giggle, becoming more and more happy just bantering with Val in our bed.
Valentino hugs me closer, whispering, “You’re totally shitting me if you’re gonna act like you weren’t begging for more~”
I jump out of his arms, grabbing my shirt from the floor and putting it in the hamper, really wanting to get away from the situation. “Welp, time for work!” I declare noisily, making him flinch slightly.
He chuckles anyway, giving me the side eye. “Now where’s the rest of your clothes, mister~?”
I look down at myself, seeing a pair of Val’s unfortunately-kinda-pretty magenta underwear being the only thing covering me. I shrug, exasperated with the day already and mumble, “I’m gonna change, look away.”
He nods in agreement but doesn’t turn away, still smirking like an idiot. I shrug again, grabbing a semi-casual outfit from the closet and undressing. “Not in the mood, Val!” I shout, still bumbling around like a madman trying to jump into my pants, which isn’t necessarily working for me. He laughs, watching me. I don’t mind anymore, it’s what we usually do anyhow. I finish getting dressed and kiss him on the cheek, whispering, “Wish me luck, honey.”
“Good luck, Voxxy~” Val pulls me in for a real kiss as I lean away, kissing my screen as passionately as anyone can really kiss a TV. I smile softly as I end the kiss, a gentle blush dusting the edges of my face.
“Bye babe~!” I yell as I open the door to leave.
He waves, looking over at me with a melancholy expression. Val hates it when I leave him alone. As I shut the door behind me, I linger for a moment, wishing I could go back inside and pepper him with tiny kisses. I pull out my phone to quickly text him, “that underwer was not my color, val. buy blue next time.” But I leave anyway, navigating the halls of VoxTex enterprises I’ve grown to know so well. I like being alone with my thoughts, getting to wonder about all sorts of crazy things running around in my brain. For instance, It’s interesting being dead longer than you’re alive. Over time, I’ve lost connection to who I was as a human, feeling like a brand new man in Hell and almost forgetting the crimes I committed in my lifetime. As I enter the elevator, I look over my shoulder at a short woman who was most likely one of Vel’s people. I face forward before realizing how young she looked. It’s sad how young some of the people in Hell are. Like that creepy child, Niffty. Wasn’t she in her 20’s? Damn. I’m in my late 30’s and never looked back, but she….she had a whole life ahead of her. She could’ve turned herself around and got into Heaven! But I suppose I shouldn’t be bothered with any of the members of that idiotic ‘Happy Hotel.’ Including Alastor, who I think renamed it the ‘Hazbin Hotel.’ That’s clever. Reminds me of ‘Kidz Bop.’
Wait, I shouldn’t concern myself with Alastor! The idiot, the moron, the imbecile! He doesn’t deserve to stand on the ground I walk on. Velvette told me about the Overlord meeting I couldn’t go to, she saw Al there! He was obviously disappointed with how little the others missed him. Ha! Take that, Bambi! Alastor deserves double-death. Alastor deserves none of my love. Alastor-
“Alastor??”
Alastor was standing right in front of my office, facing me, and looking up at the clock on the archway. “Vox~??” He chuckled in mock-surprise.
“Why are you here…?” I mumble, confident grin shifting into an angry pout.
He sighs, checking the clock and drawling, “I think the better question is why were you not here, Vox? You are 13 minutes late and counting~.”
I shoot him a confused look. “But we weren’t planning to hang out today...?”
Alastor glances up at the clock again. “Well of course not, but you’re late for work. I was planning to spring an impromptu meeting on you this fine morning~.”
I roll my eyes, silently wondering what Al could want from me. “Um, okay I guess. Could you just, uh, scooch to the right so I can get into my office…?”
He rolls his eyes as well, stepping to the left to make way for me. I glare at him as I enter the passcode to use the door, muttering, “You could have just asked me for the password the other day when we were hanging out.”
His eyes widen slightly, asking, “Would you have given it to me? The password~?”
I nod as I lead him into my office. “6667”
Alastor tilts his head as the door shuts automatically behind us. “Hm. 666 makes sense, but what about the seven…?”
I sit down at my desk, arranging some papers as I say, “Overanalyzing my passwords, I see. Updated the password every year you were gone. The two years you disappeared, I kept it as 666, not realizing you were gonna be away so long. On year three, I changed it to 6663. The next year, I changed it to 6664. And so on and so forth. I’ll probably just make it 666 now, I guess.”
His ever-present smile falters slightly, but I barely notice as I start up my computer and hook up some cords to my monitor-head. “No, that’s okay~” Alastor chuckles, walking closer to me and leaning against my chair, left arm holding him up. I blush more than I hoped I would, trying to distract myself with the work I have to do. He just stands there, taking in the ‘fancy gadgets’ I’m using.
“Well, Vox…” Alastor sighs, looking me up and down. “This has become increasingly uncomfortable.”
I stay still, checking my VoxMail and leaning away from Alastor. “Didn’t you come here for a reason other than driving me batshit insane?”
He laughs, waving his hand. “That’s just an added bonus, I suppose~!”
I grumble, shielding my blushing face from him with one of my hands and keeping my other hand on the computer mouse. I’m interrupted by a ping from my phone, which I recognize as a text from Val. I check it, seeing indeed a text from Valentino. An image. I click on it, seeing a photo of him posing in dark blue and red lingerie. It has no caption. I blush profusely, feeling Alastor lean over my shoulder and make a slight squeak. I know Al isn’t into that kinda thing. Bambi’s more innocent than everyone thinks.
He laughs again with much more vigor. “Oh, dear. Anyway, I did come here for a truly plausible reason.”
I look up at his smarmy face. “Ugh…what do you fucking need, Al??”
“Ah, somebody’s in a pleasant mood~!”
“It would be more pleasant if I was with Val.”
He frowns. “Oh yes, abusive Valentino, the one you claim to love~!”
I shrug, shooting Al a dirty look. “Maybe I do love him for real, Bambi.”
He rolls his eyes, summoning his microphone. “You are attempting to rid yourself of me, and it is failing miserably. What was that phrase you used…? Oh yes, ‘crash and burn.’ You are crashing and burning, darling~”
The only thing burning is my body, causing my cooling vents to start whirring. Alastor looks around quizzically. “Dear? What is that awful noise? And that…burning rubber odor..?”
I press both pointer fingers on my temples, too tired to be dealing with my rival/crush. “Leave me aloneeeeee…” I whine, leaning back in my chair. “I’m getting absolutely zero shit done.”
He chuckles, almost putting a hand on my shoulder but recoiling at the last second. “Y-you never get anything done, Vox~” He drawls, acting like I didn’t notice the little crack in his voice.
I laugh. “You alright, Al? Hit puberty again, I see.”
He chuckles, walking briskly to sit on my desk. “Oh my…Do you really have no idea why I’m here~?”
I look him in the eyes, getting even more confused. “Huh? I dunno. Not paying much attention.” That was a lie and we both know it. He looks away for a moment before turning back to me, looking much more focused.
“Ugh…Vox, I-...” Alastor starts, losing all the focus he had before.
I frown, noticing the weird faces he’s making. Why is he talking like that? He’s so…unsophisticated. Why is he being so different around me?
“I feel…” He sighs, making my eyebrows raise off my screen. What the fuck? Feelings? Alastor doesn’t like feelings! What's happening?? Is he gonna stop being my friend? Oh fuck.
“I LOVE YOU, DATE ME!” I blurt out, causing him to somehow get all his recently lost composure back. Perfect timing.
“Ha! Not in a million years~”
“No, just one date! Please…? We could go as friends, or…n-not friends?”
Alastor chuckles, “Yes, let’s be not-friends~...”
I almost slap him but keep the self-control I know I need. “Alastor, come on! We could be something great! Really, really great! You just don’t get it, we-”
“I do ‘get it,’ Vox. I understand what you want. Unfortunately for you, our desires do not overlap.”
“But, n-no! You really don’t get it. We could go to that knockoff Ozzy’s…well, nevermind. You don’t like that kinda stuff…We could go to that new coffee shop that opened up…what’s it called, Satan’s Brew or something like that…But that doesn’t matter. Just get a bit dressed up, or don’t!! That’s okay. We could go right now, I’d just want to wear something nicer. It’s okay, that’s fine. Just...uh, don’t leave, okay? Meet me there at 7:00pm, kay? Um, is that alright with you…?”
He giggles, humming, “Look at you, pretending to care about me…How charming~!”
“W-what..? N-no, I-..d-d-definitely, not, I-...w-well, I couldn’-t…h-huh? D-do you…?” I stutter, losing my train of thought in the process.
Alastor giggles again. “Oh, poetry~! Be sure to write it down and send it to me in another meaningless letter, alright?”
My face turns bright red as I try not to pout or yell. It’s okay, everything’s fine. Just a bad day. Another horrible, terrible day.
“Goodbye, Vox~!” And with that, Alastor turns and leaves, door slamming behind him. I sulk there for a moment, everything that happened on repeat in my stupid brain. I throw my fist onto the arm of my chair.
“FUCK! UGH, THE PRICK! I HATE YOU, ALASTOR!!” I screech, swiping my coffee mug decorated with the words ‘Fuck Alastor’ and dumping it onto the ground. I stare at that for a moment. “G-go…Go die in a hole and commit arson on yourself, Al. Get dunked on. Get raped! Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, nononononono, don’t get raped, please don’t get raped. Damn, what if I jinxed it, what if-...” I trail off, sighing. That was kinda pathetic. I mutter, “Don’t get raped, Bambi…I’m the only one allowed to rape you.”
“Val, I’m home~!!” I sing, undoing my tie and throwing my suit onto the coat hanger. “Valentino~?” I call his name, hearing a sudden thud from the upstairs as he comes rushing down.
“Oh, baby, you’re home~! I’m so happy to see you today. I love you so much, come here~...” He peppers my screen with kisses, hugging me close.
I grumble softly, wanting nothing more than to take a warm bath with my boyfriend.
“Aw, bad day? I’m so sorry~...That sucks. I heard the Radio Demon came to visit. I thought about checking in on you, but I assumed you’d be pretty pissed off so I left you alone. You okay, babe~?” He seems pretty sincere for once.
I secretly wish he had stopped by the office to give me a hug. “Hey, V-Val…? About Al, I um…”
Valentino rolls his eyes. “What, that you like him? I know, everyone does by now. Why do you think I left you alone with him~? Kinda wish I hadn’t though. I want you all to myself~”
I sigh, feeling slightly more confident. “That’s sweet. And possessive, as usual. But, uh, this is…important. I love him. And I wanna date him.” I grimace, not sure how he’ll take this.
Val chuckles, shaking his head slightly. “Hah, I knew you were poly. Even when I asked and you were like, ‘Hell no,’ I had a feeling~”
Now it’s my turn to shake my head. “T-Tino, I’m…I’m not polyamorous.”
He frowns. “Huh? But, w-what…?”
My grimace worsens as I start to look down slightly. I’m honestly scared he’ll hit me.
He looks away, turning to walk in an oval around the coffee table. “I-...I don’t understand. You’re not…you’re not l-leaving me for Alastor, are you…? Are you? Are you leaving me for Alastor…?”
I wince, nodding slightly. “...Y-yeah, kinda.” All of a sudden, I can’t even detect any bit of flirtiness in his voice. Just anger, sadness, and betrayal. Which I understand.
“V-Vox…? V-Voxxy…? Y-you…you said you loved me…You said you’d love me forever and never leave me, no matter what. You…You swore you’d never r-run off with Alastor…D-don’t…Don’t leave me…Pl-please…Please don’t go…?” He phrases it as more of a question. I know he’s scared, which makes my heart hurt more than I ever expected it to. He’s being so…vulnerable. And real. Like, he’s not looking for sex. He’s looking for a partner. A boyfriend that I couldn’t be for him. I almost reach out to touch his shoulder, but I stop myself.
“Val, I…I’m sorry…I know what I said…I know how hard this must be for you…I wish I didn’t have to hurt you.” And that’s true. It’s always been true.
“N-no, Vox…! Is it something I did? I-I can change! I can change for you, baby~! I’m all yours, j-just please…” Val whispers, looking like he’s gonna cry.
I sigh sadly, feeling horrible. All I want is to cuddle and have makeup sex, but I know this is the right decision. It’s hard to know he isn’t even trying to manipulate me or anything right now. He’s just trying to get me to stay with him, to not leave him. And somehow, that hurts even more than any punch he’s ever thrown at me. I’d rather he break my screen to give me another pain to focus on. But he just stands there. Valentino, for once in his life, stands still. Heartbroken. And this time, I’m the cause. “I-...I’m so sorry, Tino…V-Val, I feel terrible right now…If I-I’m gonna be completely honest, all I want right now is a hug and a blowjob. But we shouldn’t d-do that…I’m so sorry I couldn’t be the boyfriend you needed me to be…A-actually.”
He nods, still processing all of this. “I’m trying to be angry, but I can’t. I’m just…s-sad. And I guess that makes sense. Cause I still love you.”
I nod as well, taking his words in. “I just want to make this official, so sorry if this hurts more. But, um, we’re breaking up.”
Valentino looks away. “I-I…I know. O-okay. I’ll have Vel bring all your stuff to your penthouse. Bye, V-Voxxy.”
I turn away, not wanting to see the hurt look in his eyes anymore. “Bye, Val.”
I walk into Satan’s Brew, feeling like a new, slightly more depressed man. I wear my standard outfit without the regular suit. Val used to say I look sexier that way.
I strutted in, turning heads as I did. It’s not every day the most powerful Overlord walks into a local coffee shop. I sit down at a free table, making a few people sitting close by move away, some even running out the door. Normally I’d be amused or proud of this sort of thing, but today, it makes me feel even more alone than I usually do. Because now I have nobody. Velvette will probably side with Valentino for once, as she should. And they’re my only friends. I had Alastor for a long time, but then I screwed up. Twice!! What an imbecile. And this time, I’m talking about me. I just wish he cared about me as much as I care about him. And I ruined my Hell-wide reputation during the little hissy fit I threw when I heard he was back. And now he hates me. Again. I guess I really do have no one. Just me, myself, and I…ordering a frappuccino.
I tap my foot, waiting for a waiter to offer me a drink. Just then, the bell on the glass door rings, causing the room to fall silent. I barely notice until some rando sinner demon whispers in awe,
“Two Overlords in one coffee shop…”