Chapter Text
“Two Overlords in one coffee shop…”
I look up, coming face to face with the one and only Alastor. I gasp quietly, and I’m pretty sure Al doesn’t notice. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking.
Alastor glances left and right as the customers quickly file out of the cafe. A soft blush appears on either side of my screen when Al directs his attention towards me. He looks me up and down subtly, and I probably wouldn’t notice if I wasn’t fucking in love with that flipping dweeb. I pay attention to every breath that fucker takes, and he knows, too! He knows I wanna marry him and all he can say in return is, “I wish someone had the power to revoke your talking privileges.” But he doesn’t. Not this time at least. In all honesty, I prefer that talking privileges thing rather than the awkward silence we’re having right now. We both stay silent as we study each other’s faces. Well I’m not sure if he’s studying my face. I’d like to think he is.
“...Um…Hey, Al…What’s the haps…?” I ask tentatively, causing him to raise an eyebrow.
He sighs, taking a seat in the chair across from me. “...Well? Are you going to start the date or should I~?”
My breath catches in my throat. “W-what…?”
Alastor rolls his eyes, strolling over to the cash register. At first I thought he was going to leave, since the door is over there, but he just yelled into the kitchen, “What poor management! Do you truly believe dear Vox the Overlord and I, the Overlord have come all this way to simply glance at an empty establishment? Do you have waiters, or are they too unprofessional to talk to us? Would you prefer I scream my order to you from here~?” He pauses a moment, seemingly waiting for an answer. When none comes, he screeches, in what sounds like his best annoying tone, “I would like a-”
A demon comes rushing in, wearing an outfit similar to mine. I grimace for a moment, feeling a teeny bit upset that my style has been stolen in front of Alastor, and amused, seeing as the demon doesn’t look very good in it. I also feel a bit sorry for him, seeing as he probably never thought he’d meet the Overlord he’s copying. I maintain a straight face after my minor slip up.
“U-um, sorry sir. W-want me to take o-orders now…?” The demon asks. The name on his nametag is “Val.” How unoriginal. I feel even sorrier now.
Alastor sends him a sharp nod, taking a seat again. I try my best not to burst out laughing at Al’s cruel humiliation of the coffee place, but he’s not making it any easier. He’s never really been able to relax, but this is a whole new level of uncomfortable and tense. His spine is stick straight, and his left eye is twitching. He keeps on adjusting his monocle and fixing his bowtie. I frown slightly, watching him. He doesn’t look over at me to see it. He just stares at the little demon called “Mike.”
“Ah, yes. Thank you for that entertaining display of professionalism. I’ll have to give you a five star rating on a tiny picture box for touching~” Alastor says sarcastically, because I know he definitely did not buy a phone from my company.
I roll my eyes. “Oh sure, you bought a Voxtaphone?”
He ignores me, continuing to stare at Mike. “How about you grant us a few minutes to discuss our orders~?”
Mike nods, rushing out of the room and back into the kitchen. I sigh, pulling out my phone to check it while Alastor just stares at me eagerly, like he needs something. I’m trying so hard not to explode right now, seeing as Al just called me ‘dear Vox’ less than a minute ago, and he seems to consider this a date. Which just excites me even further. I’m trying to play it cool, but I’m sure whatever my tells are seem obvious to him. I glance up from my phone, silently checking Alastor out. Honestly, he looks like a hot waiter. With his puffy white sleeves, and everything else he’s got going on, I’m gonna need a drink of water and a few deep breaths. I can feel my body starting to heat up from anxiety and just by looking at Alastor, and my cooling vents start whirring. I don’t feel any less hot right now though. He tilts his head to the side, probably hearing the fans blowing.
“..Vox? Dear, what is that noise?”
I blush slightly, mumbling, “...my cooling vents…?”
He chuckles softly, looking into my eyes. “Why are you on your phone, darling~?”
I shrug. He makes a good point. “Well, I’m not really on it. The awkwardness is just getting to me.”
Alastor chuckles again, making me smile a bit in response. “How was your day, Al?” I ask.
He rolls his eyes, waving a hand to the side. “Oh, I had a delightful day. At least, after you stopped pestering me~!”
I roll my eyes, on the cusp of having another screaming fit, but I hold myself back. Al’s teasing always works a bit too well.
“Why’d you decide to come here…?” I ask tentatively.
“Hm~?”
“Why did you come here?” I repeat. “You already rejected me for, what, the 3rd time? It’s exciting to see you here, but also super confusing. You called it a date, and you called me darling, but I can’t really tell what that stuff means to you. Did you say it without thinking about it, or just, like, so I’d notice? Because that definitely grabbed my attention.”
His grin widens as I ramble on and on. Is this what he wanted? “Oh, Vox. You seem to be in a questioning mood of late. Why do you think I said those things~?” He questions.
I frown slightly, my blush slowly becoming more prominent. “Well, I guess I think you said that stuff to flirt with me.”
His grin dissolves into a tight smirk, seemingly strained. “One should conduct a study on your delusional brain. Or your computer mainframe whatnot~”
I snicker, rolling my eyes at him as our gazes meet.
“The way you think is just so interesting~”
“Good interesting or bad interesting?”
Alastor opens his mouth to say something, but then, for the first time in his entire life, closes it. “Mm. The latter, I suppose.” He answers.
Besides for his usual smarmy manner, he also looks a little distressed. I wanna ask what’s wrong, but I’m not exactly sure how to go about it. “Um…you alright…?”
“Oh, cursed Angel Dust…Why do I listen to that lewd spider~...?” He utters under his breath. I giggle quietly, enjoying seeing Al pissed. I always like it when he shows more emotion than the usual passive-aggressive (mainly aggressive) horseshit.
“What about Angel?”
He clears his throat. “One could assume you know of him, seeing as your boyfriend is Valentino~”
I shake my head. “My ex boyfriend is Valentino.”
Alastor raises an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh? Well then, I suppose the night has the possibility of going somewhere completely different than I had originally anticipated~”
Now it’s my turn to raise an eyebrow. “I can’t tell if you know what you’re implying.”
He shakes his head roughly, as if to get the thought out of his brain. “No, I understand what I’m saying. I hate saying it though, but I feel peer pressured into it. Most of what I’ve said to you, Angel Dust advised me to say. I may have written some of it down~” He pulls out a small, yellow notepad from the inside of his suit, muttering softly as he reads it over. I watch, chuckling gently as Al frowns at it.
“May I see?” I wonder.
He looks up at me, shaking his head again. “I don’t want you to tent your pants if you do~”
My blush increases even further. “W-what?”
He shakes his head a third time, whispering frantically, “Angel told me to say it, for god’s sake~!!”
I blush slightly less, a quizzical look glued onto my face. “Why’d you take advice from him? Sure, he’s pretty nice, but what did you need advice for? Also, I’m sorry, but your flirty ass shit is fucking insane. You’re somehow even more fucking confusing than usual.”
I notice his posture straighten a bit. He adjusts his monocle, saying, “I simply needed a couple pointers on how to not insult you during one of our conversations. Because it seems like you don’t like that. And Angel just told me to be myself, but imagine I was talking to my mother, and handed me a list of phrases. None of which I would dare speak to my mother~”
My eyes widen. “You were talking to me like you were talking to your fucking mom??”
“I suppose so, but at least you don’t occupy the same space in my brain as her~!”
I roll my eyes, done with whatever shit he’s trying to pull. “What are you doing here, Al?!”
“Flirting with you~!!!”
“.........What.”
He covers his face with his hands, running his hands through his hair nervously. “...I wasn’t talking to you how I’d speak with my mother! I wouldn’t say flirtatious things to her.”
I stay silent for a moment. I’m not really sure why this day feels so important, but I guess there’s a reason for that. I left Val, Alastor showed up for a date, he’s not insulting me, he’s flirting with me…? I guess I’m just overwhelmed, overreacting, and slightly embarrassed.
“I-...Sorry…I just also wanted to let you know, um…the compliments are nice, but it’s okay if you insult me sometimes too. I like it. Both of them. Just…in moderation I guess.”
He nods softly. “You make a fair point, Vox. I’ll be sure to…consider that…in the future~.”
I nod as well. “....Uh…so…if you said you’re flirting with me, does that mean you like m-”
“-Yes, Vox,” he interrupts, “Yes it does~.”
My blush increases as my ability to speak drastically declines. I open and close my mouth a few times, wanting to say something but grasping at fragments of words. I decide to stay silent and simply look at him, taking a deep breath as I study his figure. His bowtie is charming. I like it.
“Um…okay. Well, as you probably figured out a long time ago, I…well, I feel the same way, I guess.”
He nods, chuckling quietly. “...Would you…Oh, by Lucifer himself, would you like to be my boyfriend~?”
I nod frantically. “Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!”
Alastor giggles, reaching out a hand towards me. I know I’m supposed to hold it, but I can’t help but just poke his claws a bit before I do. By that point, he is visibly shaken. I’m aware he’s touch-averse, so maybe I could have been a bit more considerate. But he seems to enjoy it anyway.
“Do you wanna…y’know…go to my place…?”
He raises an eyebrow. “Well…Sure, but…could we please not…do anything?.”
That answer surprises me, as well as the fact that he never stopped smiling this entire conversation. I’ve been grimacing and getting nervous and just looking plain bored, and here he is somewhere between a smirk and a menacing grin. But I like that about him.
“Of course, Al. Sorry I was so…y’know…forward…?”
He nods, smile softening a bit. “Ah, you are incredibly awkward, dear Vox.”
“Mm…I like your face.” Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. Why am I like this?
He snickers, turning into a chuckle, morphing into full-on laughter. He continues like that for a while before finally calming down. Wiping a stray tear from his eyes, he mutters, “Dear, you make me hysterical~”
I chuckle softly, loving that I made him laugh. Even if I got a bit embarrassed in the process.
He lets go of my hand as he stands up, waiting for me to do the same thing. I get up, knees slightly wobbly from how intense that whole convo got. I reach for his hand, and reluctantly, he takes it.
“What about the coffee?” I ask.
“If they haven’t come out to take our orders yet, they’re never going to~.” He answers. I guess that’s valid.
“But what if they were waiting for us to finish with our banter shit?” I say as I open the door for him.
“Doesn’t matter. I’d rather be where I am right now~.”