Chapter Text
Intro– It was a summer’s Sunday
Carmilla’s week had started as normally as it possibly could.
That Monday she had drunk her coffee while watching the news, paid her rent in time without needing to skip too many groceries and even allowed herself some time for reminiscing on her date from Friday– a decent evening in a forgettable pub, that had lead to a nice night of well deserved stress relief; She didn’t indulge often, preferring quality over quantity, but after the months of non-stop work to try and keep the streets of her city clean, she felt like lowering her standards was something she could indulge herself with. Sex was always sex, after all, and she needed an hit of adrenaline from something that didn’t involve having to run and climb over fences to catch another dealer. Her and Daniel were even on amicable enough terms to not make her feel too empty afterwards, and that was enough.
Yeah, Carmilla’s week had started in the most uneventful and mundane way possible...
That’s why she was quite surprised when, on the Sunday of that very same week, she woke up in hell.
Notes:
Small intro, not too much to say. The first chapter will be added immediately after. The second chapter will be published next Wednesday!
Chapter 2: 1– Qué carajo? / What the (literal) hell?
Summary:
Carmilla is freshly landed in hell, and extremely confused. Some people are always assholes, some people are nice or so they seem.
Enjoy!
Notes:
NOTE: IN THIS CHAPTER, THERE'S A SLUR.
It's signaled with an asterisk. It's a slur against Mexicans, and I DO NOT APPROVE OF ITS USE. I put it in the mouth of a racist pig, whose actions are to be condemned. It's here for writing purposes, not to offend anybody.I have a great faith in this fandom, but still: I remind everyone to be civil.
On a lighter note: still no Zestial, but he will join us soon!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
1– Qué carajo?
A camion had almost run her over. Twice.
She didn’t know where she was, but for sure it wasn’t Mexico City... not even her homeland was so blatantly violent. And there were far too few children on the streets.
Maybe she was dreaming. Maybe she was in a coma, or maybe she was in surgery. She could remember the explosion strangely well, all considered, and it hadn’t been nice, even if relatively painless... she was probably hallucinating by now, her feelings exasperated by painkillers and anaesthetics... she had always kept away from drugs, her tolerance wasn’t high. That must have been it. She didn’t feel dead, she wasn’t injured, so this whole ordeal must have been a freaking trip. She would wake up to an hell of an headache... but HOW was she supposed to wake up in the first place? Her dreams had never been so vivid. She only knew that she couldn’t stop moving, if she didn’t want to get stepped over... and so kept aimlessly walking.
The impact with a board pair of shoulders put an end to her confused wandering. She didn’t even have the time to apologise, before getting shoved away and against the nearby (broken) street lamp
It didn’t hurt much, but still. She could do without a second concussion, thank you very much
《Watch yourself, you fucking cunt!》
《What is it wet-bag*, are you deaf or just that dumb?》
《Even still got a pretty face, what a waste》
《Well, maybe that we can fix.》
Four guys and a gal, all with porcine features. And... ready to throw hands. And a machete, and some knives, and a bat, apparently.
Okay. Fuck them.
Carmilla usually tried to solve things peacefully, especially given her career and... side missions, let’s say, but she was more than capable of beating the shit out of whoever needed it.
So, when the blondish one tried to go and take a swing at her with his bat, she grabbed it and fucking snapped it in half.
Cool. She couldn’t do that when she was awake. Maybe Uriè was onto something with the whole lucid dreams idea.
The girl yanked her by her ponytail. Carmilla got back in the present
《What the fuck bitch?! That was my favourite bat! 》
《Don’t harass random people on the streets and you won’t get your toys broken! 》
《Oh, she thinks she's smart!》
《Oh, no, you’re mistaken. I know I’m. 》
And so, the fighting started.
I need a way out.
Carmilla was resilient like few others. If life threw lemons at her, she started a lemonade business. Yet, she was getting tired. This dream seemed to last hours, and her opponents were better equipped than her. People all around were watching like it was some kind of freak show, shouting encouragements and cheering. A good portion screamed slurs at her, but she toned it out... she had learned how years ago.
Two other guys had joined the fight after she had sent the gal to the ground permanently, and things promised to go on like that. How wonderful.
She was faster and obviously better trained, and that was why they hadn’t landed a serious hit on her yet, but that’s where all her advantages ended: she was disarmed, outnumbered and confused.
That’s why she needed a way out before things got ugly. That’s why she couldn’t find one, even as one of the guys managed to pin her to the floor, the other ready to punch her head into the cement
Weirdly, the hit to her face never came She got abruptly yanked to her feet by... a mass of pink hair?
《Do you mind if I join? Kicking ass is my favourite sport!》
A woman was standing right in front of her, a cascade of pink hair around her slender frame. Her eyes, black with pink dots, shined with mischief.
Carmilla grinned
《Be my guest!》
From then on, the battle was awesome. She and Pinky (okay, not her name, but it suited her just fine for the time being, not like Carmilla was going to call her that out loud) completely annihilated those assholes.There was kicking, punching, and... was that a whip? Awesome.
With someone watching her back, Carmilla was able to play it less on the defensive, and even to take one of her opponents’ knives for herself.
Never been the bloody type, but she would make it work.
Twenty minutes, and the two of them were resting on a nearby windowsill, Carmilla catching her breath while the other woman was busy spraying some kind of graffiti signature on the wall.
When she finished, she spoke to her again for the first time
《That was fun. You’re kinda good at moving those legs》
《Thanks! A ballerina never forgets 》
《Shit, fancy sport, that’s cool》 her newfound companion spotted something that turned her smirk into a grimace《oh fuck》
《What? 》
《More assholes coming. Fucking crazy ones. Run! 》She ordered, jumping down. Carmilla followed
《Hey, wait...》 Carmilla gripped the other’s arm when they landed. She didn’t know where to run, and staying there wasn’t an option. She got pushed away
《We have to move, doll! If you wanna get wretched fine, but don’t slow me down! 》
《I don’t know where to go! 》
《Well, I do!》 “Pinky” started walking, but then she turned around abruptly 《... so, are you following me or not? 》
《Yes, yes I’m coming》Carmilla hurried after her《Thank you for helping me out before》
《Don’t mention it. Any reason is a good reason to punch a racist pig. Especially big ones like Jonny B.》 she turned into an alley《Frankly, you’re lucky that the accent gave you away, otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered to help you, newbie.》
《Still. I’m not often in the position of punching back right away》
《Really? You look strong enough. Ballerinas don’t dirt their hands? 》
《I wish. I’m not a ballerina, I just like ballet, but that stuff is expensive. 》 they climbed on a ladder, reaching a rooftop. It was quite hidden, surrounded on three sides by taller buildings《at least where I’m from. This place is strange. Where are we?》
《You don’t know? You looked like fresh meat, but I didn’t realise this fresh. How long have you been here? 》
《I have been going around for... little more than an hour, I think? Time feels weird. 》Carmilla looked at her newfound companion《Are you some kind of odd fairy godmother of dreams? When will I wake up?》
《Oh dear》 she turned to stare at her, her voice unamused《I hate being the one to break the news to you love, but there’s no waking up from this. You're dead.》
《Yeah, from too much overtime. Be serious, were are we? 》 at the other’s uneasy glare, Carmilla arched a brow, almost jokingly《if I was dead I would know, don’t you think? 》
The woman kept staring
《Have you not... seen yourself in a mirror or something yet? 》
Seen herself? Yes, of course, people here looked weird, but this was a dream, so it was normal. Dreams weren’t supposed to be faithful to reality or logic, right? What was she supposed to look like? Would she recognise herself?
Taking her silence as a no, Pica passed her a small, cracked mirror
《Okay, use mine. Anyway, you are kinda of hot, so on that side you can’t complain》
But Carmilla wasn’t listening. On the small surface, staring back at her in fear, were reflected a pair of red eyes. Her skin appeared desaturated, almost grey... was her hair white? She saw the mirror shake and realised it was because of her own hands. Had they always been that big? Certainly not. Not outside this nightmare.
Carmilla looked into the mirror and saw a monster. A diablo.
No.
No no no no no no no.
She couldn’t be dead.
She... she would have felt it! Her heart... and the air In her lungs... it was all the same! She was in the middle of the street and then... nothing! No pearly gates, no sulphuring flames, no old man with a long bear to tell her why she had been casted down there -as soon as she saw herself, she knew she was a damned soul– no chance to explain herself, just an ugly street and plenty of people. Some better and some worse, apparently, just like home.
It was ridiculous! Death couldn’t be something so... so mundane.
She realised she had collapsed on the floor only when the pink haired woman started shaking her. Hard.
《Okay. Listen. Stop panicking, por los diablos! 》 She screamed, forcing her to stand and dragging her away 《this doesn’t have to be so scary. You’re dead, and so what? Everyone here is. Death has its perks! Like, you’re pretty much immortal now. Unless an angel gets you during the extermination, that is in twenty days, but...》
Carmilla barely grasped her companion’s words, but the little she understood was enough to push her out of her silent stupor
《Angels? Extermination? 》
《Don’t worry about that. Perks of death, remember? 》 the woman docked under a concrete log, reaching a even lower roof, and Carmilla followed《pretty much everyone you ever loved and lost is here. Heaven is hard to get in. So, tell me: what did you do? Dealing drugs, hired gun, got wasted from sunset to dawn and then some more for lunch? Careful, now we jump》
《I’m... I was a cop》replied Carmilla as they landed in what looked like a parking lot
《Ah! Corruption, that’s it? 》
《No! I never took a bribe》
《Are you for real? Then the fuck did you do? 》
《I... I kind of took justice in my own hands, from time to time?》
《Did you kill someone?》
《Kind of.》
《... did they deserve what you served them? Turn right, we get a ride on the elevator. 》
《Thanks. And yes, my only regret is not doing worse. 》
《Well, fuck. This means they’re probably here too. Fuck, what did I get myself into? That’s why you don’t lend an helping hand down here.》 the sinner shook her head with a frown 《Okay, this is what we are gonna do: tell me what your loved ones did, or how they died, and I’ll try and see if I can figure out where they may have settled going from there. You’ll need allies》
Well, mierda.
《I know pretty much nothing about my father, not even if he’s already dead... and if he was, I would try and avoid him. My mother died of cancer when I was a little kid, and never hurt a soul in her life. My sister is still alive, and we haven't talked much in the past few years anyway.》
《Ughhh. Girl, you ain’t helping me out much here. This is our stop, let’s go.》 They were now on another roof 《Any long-passed friends? 》
《Not really... no one I can trust anyway 》
《Grandparents? We go left》
Carmilla jumped from roof to roof after her guide. The streets were full of red lamps, it looked like they were flying over a small Chinatown. In different circumstances, Carmilla would have really enjoyed the view
《Two I never knew, one died before I was born, the other when I was four. Was a literal saint. 》
They reached a dead point, but the other started climbing down a rusty ladder until they reached another, lower roof. The jumping continued.
《Lovers?》
《I turned thirty-one last month, I don’t really have many dead acquaintances 》
《Acquaintances? The fuck do you speak?》
《I was poor and alone most of my childhood, and good manners got me a long way》
《Fuck, STOP GIVING ME SENSITIVE INFORMATIONS ABOUT YOU DAMMIT. You’re in hell, everyone for themselves! 》
《Well, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it! And anyway, you don’t even know my name, what will you do? Go around saying that the Mexican foster care system doesn’t work? Because, that’s pretty common knowledge. 》
《Fuck. Fuck this, fuck me, fuck you. 》 the woman massaged her temple, giving Carmilla the side eye 《You’re truly alone down here, umh? 》
Carmilla shrugged. If panic wasn’t an option, nonchalance would have to do.
《So it appears》
They paused right above a tight alley. It stunk of garbage and human waste.
《Really well. I hate this, but I can’t just let you wander Lucifer knows where without a clue. So, listen carefully, I’m gonna give you a fast summary of how shit is going to be from now on. You ready? 》
《Yes...?》
《Okay. First things first: extermination. It comes once a year, is basically a purge because hell is overpopulated, Angels come down there and slaughter pretty much whomever they can reach, except for hell-borns. 》
《hell-borns...?》
《Yeah, no time for that, you will figure it out. Anyway 》 she went on. If her speed was due to a lack of patience or to the fear of overwhelming the fresh soul, is hard to say. Probably a mix. 《as a sinner, you’re confined in the pride ring, where Overlords have their domains. DO NOT, and fucking remember this, DO NOT MAKE DEALS WITH THEM. Especially for your soul. They will drain you for all you’re worth and here there’s no death to set you free. It will be endless suffering. 》
Carmilla nodded
《 No deals. Understood 》
《Good. At least you seem smart. Now, last point: you need a crowd. 》
《... a crowd? 》
《Yes. Don’t trust anybody enough for them to get the upper hand on you, but don’t isolate yourself so much that nobody will care to help you when you are in deep shit. Favours for favours, sex for drugs, call it like you want, just get yourself someone to stand with as long as you don’t have anything important to lose. And》 She started moving again, hands going all over her pockets until she found a small key《you need a job.》
They descended halfway into the alley, but lucky didn’t have to reach the ground: the woman used her key to unlock a window, and they climbed inside what looked like a dismissed restaurant.
《I can help you only with three paths, so choose wisely: will be it adult entertainment, drug dealer or hired gun?》
《... is nobody hiring bodyguards? I’d like an honest job. 》
《Oh pentagram. You’re screwed. 》
In the end, they did find a compromise: hired gun, but only against sinners. Killing was not the main goal, and it wouldn't be permanent.
Pica shrugged. The new girl was the one that had to lay in that bed, she was allowed to make it as uncomfortable as she wanted.
Notes:
I hope you liked it! Pica is my original character, she will retain a minor role in the story, but will have her moments. She's... a mix between Cherry Bomb and Blitzø from Helluva boss, so not the best with relationships... but you will see!
ADDITION
I drew human Carmilla! And, a "younger" version of her, for when she was a soul freshly arrived in hell. Enjoy!https://twitter.com/Lara_black3788/status/1786512011741831319?t=4kbyk05R_nzxNsC2k2e0VA&s=19
Chapter 3: 2–Job hunting
Summary:
Carmilla needs a job and more side characters are introduced. What can I say? I watched Helluva Boss, and there are decent people in hell.
Notes:
Okay, this is the last chapter without Zestial, from the next one we will get much more of our favourite spider and more space will be dedicated to introspection and Carmilla's feelings!
I'm sorry for the slow start, but I really needed those first chapters to establish the context of my story, and how others view Carmilla... she is a little different from Canon here because she's younger, not yet a mother, and has still to grow into the iron lady that we all know... and to di so, she will have to go through a lot. I don't particularly like when we know that a character is strong and smart just because someone says they are, so I need to give her space to prove herself and her abilities... even if she's really, really tired.
Writing action is my weak spot, but I tried my best... I hope this chapter won't be boring!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
2– Job hunting
It hadn’t been easy but, apparently, even before an extermination people had grudges to settle, and enemies to fuck over, so there she was. Ready for her first job interview. Pica (Carmilla had not missed the mark by much with the nickname Pinky) had been nice enough to lend her a different shirt for it.
《Here you go. I can’t go around and introduce you to people dressed up like a doll 》
《I don’t look like a doll! It just has some ruffles. 》
《Whatever. Keep it for after you’ve been hired 》
After their brave escapade, Pica had guided her through the building, that had revealed itself to be, in fact, an abandoned tea house. When they had reached a room furnished only for an old couch, Pica had told her to sit. She wasn’t too tired yet, adrenaline still running through her body, but her head did feel dizzy, so she complied.
As soon as she sat, her body almost melted into the lumpy pillows.
《Okay. I’m not letting a literal stranger into my house just yet, so you can rest here for a couple of hours or so while I think of someone who will give you a job. Sometimes I crash here when I need to lay low. 》
《Thank you. You’re being... really kind to me. 》
《Don’t fall for it. I’m being nice because it will profit me, the moment you give me actual troubles, you’re on your own. 》
《Still...》
《Save the sentimentalism. Rest now, you may not get another chance for a long while. 》
Carmilla had closed her eyes, only to reopen them with the rising of a new day. When she sat up, still confused, Pica threw a shirt at her and started talking fast. Did... was she holding a granola bar with her hair?
《What? People have wings and I can’t get magic hair? Never seen it before? 》
She hadn’t.
But, Pica had snooped around, and she had found a job suitable for her, and so they would go and try their luck... well, Carmilla’s, at least.
The K.N.I.F.E quarters were located in a rundown building with paint peeling off the walls, but the office itself was nice, with a couple of fake plants and a clean floor. Probably, the mess was kept behind one of the three closed doors that opened on the main area.
Carmilla straightened, keeping her head up. Pica, by her side, exhibited a much more relaxed attitude
《Good morning, losers! Look at what I found? Fresh meat! 》
《Fuck off, Pica. 》
《Aww Rif, don’t be like that. When have I not brought you a good deal? 》
《The last two times you almost got us busted. And the only time you brought us a dude, it was a shit-show. 》
《But this ain’t no guy! She’s a gal. 》
《That I can see. 》 he said, looking Carmilla up and down 《And what does this friend of yours want?》
《She’s a newbie, looking for a job and no trouble. 》
《Get out. 》
《But, Rif— 》
《No. We’re not hiring. Why are you even asking, two weeks before the Extermination? 》
《Twenty-one days 》
《Still. 》 he turned, finally addressing Carmilla《listen, miss... nothing personal. But this is not a good time. Look somewhere else. And for hell’s sake, don’t ask to the fucking crackhead to introduce you. Our Pica here is not someone sensible would want to be associated with. 》
In normal circumstances, Carmilla would have been outraged by the way the man spoke to her newfound... friend? Guide? Whatever. The only thing that kept her from calling him out on his rudeness was Pica uncaring attitude... she had barged in calling the man a loser, after all, maybe this was their normal dynamic? Maybe hell had different standards of politeness? She would need to figure it out later.
《That’s stupid! I’m telling you she’s good! 》
Right when she thought that Pica would climb on the man’s desk, the door slammed open
《Hi boss... Pica, hey, love the new jacket! Who’s the gal? 》
《Janice, sugar, nice to see you. This is Carmilla, your potential new colleague, if your boss there could get his head out of his ass and give her a chance 》
《New girl? I didn’t know we were hiring 》
《Because we aren’t, John. 》
《What a pity, could have used one more good looking person 》
《To compensate your ugly quota? 》
《Be nice to poor Marta! It’s not her fault that she looks like that 》
《Assholes. 》
《Will you all, please, go and start to work?》
《Sure thing boss, but I needed to know if April had been able to fix my gun. 》
《Ah, no. I’m afraid that it’s beyond repair. 》
《Again? 》
《Well, the fuck you want from me, I’m an apothecary, not an engineer 》
《Don’t get aggressive! I’m just tired of changing guns so often 》
《If you didn’t use them as a brick to smack our targets on the head instead of shooting, it wouldn’t happen half of the time 》interjected John, a large bull-like demon
《This once it wasn’t my fault! The bullet got stuck, I had to act fast! 》
《Yes, but if only you could stop and think sometimes—》
《Like you don’t get offed every other week— 》
《I’m bigger! I’m easier to target— 》
《Always the same—》
《WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP! It’s eight in the morning, and I’m in no mood. 》
《I could fix that 》everyone in the room turned to look at her. Carmilla had been silent up to that point, witnessing the bickering, and shrugged nonchalantly. She had put her eyes on the gun as soon as it had been taken out of its envelope, identifying the model instantly... she knew that mechanism well. It was a golden opportunity. 《I’m pretty skilled with weapons, I worked with them my whole life. And then, what’s the loss? If I can’t fix it, nothing changes, but if I can, you get a working gun and the proof that I would be a good asset to the company... 》 she fixed her gaze on the boss 《you wouldn’t turn down a good deal only because you don’t want to be proved wrong, would you sir? 》
The man huffed, unimpressed, but gestured for her to take a seat at the desk
《Fine. Someone go and get her the tool box. You got two hours, and if you don’t manage, I want the both of you out of my office for good. 》
She had fixed it in less than an hour. The gun was as good as new, maybe even better, every single dent completely gone, and the bullets no longer got stuck in the barrel. Janice was ecstatic, and the girls basically demanded that he gave her a chance on the field. Pica, the little shit, was amusing herself greatly, an “I told you so” grin plastered on her face.
Carmilla simply stood there, waiting.
Rif knew a lost battle when he saw one.
《Okay. I have two simple jobs scheduled for today. You can accompany Marta on the first, to see how we work, and on the second you’re on your own. If you don’t screw up I may– let me repeat myself, I MAY – consider hiring you. No promises. 》
She gave a serious nod
《Alright, I’m in. But if I succeed and you decide to not hire me anyway, I want to be paid for the day. 》
《Okay, fair I guess》
Pica jumped out of her chair, stretching in satisfaction, like a cat that got the bird
《Cool. I’ll come to pick you up tonight, see you, girls 》
《I’m not a girl! 》
《You, I don’t want to see, John. Bye Rif! 》
Following Marta on her job had been simple: they only needed to take some photos of a cheating wife... the hardest part for Carmilla was trying to forget what exactly they had to see. Seventeen limbs between two people wasn’t something she was prepared to witness, especially not if contorted in the vilest parody of eroticism to ever disgrace the planet with its presence.
She needed a shower. And new eyes.
But it didn’t matter. Marta had explained her their protocol, and now she was ready to be sent on her first solo job... that was retrieving some photos proving an affair from a rival company. Well, she could work with it.
They had not told her that the other team would try to shoot her on the spot.
It was nothing that Carmilla couldn’t handle, but a little warning would have been nice.
She had to climb into the enemies’ lair, break into their safe, retrieve the photos of their client and only their client, get out and go back to the base, all quickly and unnoticed... she felt a rush of gratitude for Pica and her insistence to make her change: the shirt with whom she had arrived was certainly prettier, red with ruffled sleeves and a skirt-like end over her belly and pants, but would have been too eye-catching for such a job. Her now white hair was already a bit too flashy against the darkness of the streets there... maybe she would have to dye it black again; that was a thought for another moment. Now, she had to get those photos.
The “breaking-in part” had been surprisingly easy. The S.I.N.’s members had all been out on jobs or errands, leaving only a young-looking technician to guard the building... duty that, judging from the loud music that could be heard from his headphones, he didn’t take that seriously. Carmilla slithered into the boss’ office, trying to open the safe without damaging it. The more inconspicuous she acted now, the more time she would have to get out and back to K.N.I.F.E.... unfortunately, the same loud music that had aided her entrance was now making quite hard hearing any kind of click coming from the metal box.
Yet, Carmilla was nothing if not patient, and her many – unusual – skills had always managed to serve her well, so, after a few attempts, the safe came open under her experienced hands. At least the S.I.N. seemed to have a good organisation system, and the photos did not result hard to spot... she double checked to ensure that they didn’t have a backup plan, and then approached the window to climb out again.
The sound of a trigger being pulled, made her duck just in time. A bullet fled a few centimetres above her head, smashing the glass... a few splinters fell on her hair, but the most of it ended up on the streets. Carmilla turned around, holding her own gun in front of her.
So much for a clean job.
《Who do you work for? 》
The sinner in front of her was tall, with blue hair and a black ninja-like attire that covered most of his face.
《I’m on my own. Now, if you will excuse me...》
She jumped as high as she could, hitting the ceiling and using the added push to throw herself at the enemy. The man was taken by surprise, and couldn’t avoid her kick completely, but still manages to take an hold of her leg and twist it... Carmilla ignored the pain, using the added leverage that her big hands offered to throw herself at him, head-butting him with all her strength. It hurt, but she succeeded in knocking him off for good, and without catching even more attention. Where was the other guy? This place needed better security. Well, not her problem.
Carmilla positioned the sinner’s head better, ensuring that it was aligned with his spine
《Sorry for the concussion, nothing personal. 》 Then, she disappeared like she had arrived, climbing down the building with the agility of a spider on its web.
Carmilla had come back successful, photos in hand. She had stood serious and professional during the whole exchange, something that Rif could appreciate. Still, now he had to decide what to do with her. Marta, in her foresight, had sent her off on some errands with the promise to treat her with coffee later, and so now they had about an hour to discuss undisturbed. He hoped it would be enough.
《Team, special meeting. See you all in my office in ten minutes. 》
《Is it about the new girl? 》asked Janice, April peeking out from behind a gun catalogue
《Save your questions for later, please. 》
Rif sighed, walking back into his private office. The matter had to be addressed, and it was better to do so sooner than later, but, pentagram...
Didn’t he hate the headache.
He looked at his gang. Four sinners that trusted him, and on whom he knew he could always count. Maybe not the best assorted team, or the most skilled, but it worked for them. Were Carmilla's abilities worth the risk of disrupting the balance?
《So, should we or should we not hire Carmilla?》
《Sounds like a good deal to me. I’m tired of being the only one in charge of maintenance around here 》
《Well, boss, we ARE kind of understaffed right now. 》
《With how often John has to regenerate, another pair of hands would be... handy. 》
《Hey! Like you never got torn into half. But, yes, she’s right sir, we could use the extra help. 》
《Skilled with weapons, good on the field, legs for miles... I see no downsides! 》
He gave Martha the side-eye
《Let me name a few: another health insurance, another pay check for me to sign at the end of the month, someone else to share guns and knives with... we are all a little overworked from time to time, but I’m not sure that we are at such point that the expense would be justified. We are not in red, but not even swimming in gold. 》 he paused to look at their expressions, then continued, head in his hands 《I know that April is not our fix-it-all, but she makes a decent job at fixing stuff anyway, without extra pay. Janice can patch up a wound just fine, while John is good at keeping the record straight and Marta is the one who runs errands for us all half of the time... would it be nice to have someone to pick up the slacks and focus on the actual jobs? Yes. Would Carmilla be better at fixing, patching up, keeping the book and running errands? Probably yes, when she gets in sync with us. Would it save us so much time that we could pick up more jobs? Probably not. Do we have 1200£ plus insurance to spare each month? No, not really. 》
《But you still called a meeting, so it means that you’re thinking of hiring her anyway! 》
April seemed hopeful, backed up by Marta
《And she did make quite the impression. Such a clean job, considering how trigger-happy do those bastards get. 》
《She does have talent, and the one you don’t befriend may turn into an enemy. Remember Paul? 》
《Fucking Paul 》
《Hate that guy 》
《Bat-shit crazy son of a bitch 》
《Asshole》
《Exactly. Now, Carmilla doesn’t seem completely unhinged, but having her on board wouldn’t be bad. 》
《Maybe... we could hire her part-time? 》
《Or on contract? Like, paying her for each job instead of a fixed sum each month? 》
《Is that “hiring on contract”?》
《 I don’t know, mama was Italian, I grew up in Germany, deal with my poor English. 》
《Okay, okay! Jeez, always the same thing, every time— 》
《Squad! Please, focus on the problem at hand. 》 would Janice and John ever stop bickering and go on a date? Probably not. 《What do we do with Carmilla? 》
《You could give her the jobs that we usually don’t take because they’re too low-budget or make her go with me and Janice on missions that need some extra hands instead of Marta, so she could focus on more “spy centric” ones... we ask for 500£ for a basic job, we could offer to pay her 150£ each instead of the usual rate, and maybe slip an extra 50 bucks every time she fixes a gun or something. We will surely need the extra help at least once a week... without covering insurance, and saving on repurchasing weapons, we would be out of less than 700£ at month. We could afford it. 》
《And you think she will agree to work for us without health insurance? In hell? 》
《If we gift her a gun to start, maybe yes? She is fresh, if nobody caught her up already on the infections that go around down there, she may assume it is a good deal. 》
《Okay. Let’s give it a shoot. 》
And that, friends and enemies, was how Carmilla Carmine was hired.
Notes:
Yes, Janice is Italian. It was a little hint at the strong migration that occurred when many Italian people went to Germany looking for a job... she's a side character and won't be explored much, but her lore is basically that she grew up quite poor but reasonably happy, until she got involved with a bad crowd and ended up killing someone in a car accident. She was drunk driving, and still can't forgive herself completely, even if it was her boyfriend that let her drive while intoxicated. Her mum visited her grave until she passed as well, and in heaven cried for her until her memories faded away.
John was quite the quick tempered guy, always in a fist fight, and one day got offed by a jealous husband. He is accident prone and quite clumsy.
April was an apothecary... or, at least, she studied for it. Strongly inspired by MaoMao of the apothecary diaries, she poisoned someone and stole a corpse once. No, you don't want to know how or why.
Marta is... horny. But, she's also really observant and good at cracking codes. She will discover her true potential when Internet becomes a thing (this ff takes place in the 80s). She killed someone who threatened to out her as a lesbian to her family. She likes being in hell, because she feels finally free.
Rif is a decent man and he cares about his team... but it takes a lot for him to get attached, and tries to avoid getting involved in anything risky.
Pica will be more developed, so I won't talk much about her now, but let's just say that her full name is Pink Cocaine and that she's a champion at self sabotaging all her relationships.
Here is a design of Human Carmilla! If you want, sometime check if I added links, because I draw fanarts but not always in time for them to come out with the chapter.
Human Carmilla
https://twitter.com/Lara_black3788/status/1786512011741831319?t=4kbyk05R_nzxNsC2k2e0VA&s=19Carmilla on her first meeting with Zestial
https://twitter.com/Lara_black3788/status/1787609892645200111?t=3ND30dWLxJ_EKPJUZJv0EQ&s=19Pica:
https://twitter.com/Lara_black3788/status/1787611150395252859?t=VVH6XVDjaXV27HnY63-OWg&s=19Have a nice week, I hope you enjoyed this update!
Chapter 4: 3– A shadow on the wall
Summary:
Carmilla is too sleep deprived. Finally, Zestial makes his first appearance!
Notes:
Okay, Zestial is a little dark here, but hey, nothing unexpected. In the final notes I'll add some considerations that I won't put here to avoid spoiling the chapter for you all, but you can skip them if you're not interested. Still, they may help you understand some things better.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
3– A shadow on the wall
Scarlet with warmth, was the summer’s night
Poisoned with anger, green with magic
The streets were full of screams
Yet the silence of massacre corroded your path,
And the demons’ hearts were full of fright
Yet your claws left behind only empty, bloody chests...
Tell me: did you expect,
Between the cracking of bones and the fading of hope
To find, untouchable and untainted
A spring rose, blooming in white?
Lord Zestial thrived when surrounded by fear. Nightmares, phobias, compulsions: that was his realm.
He was not an ancestral entity, those were far superior and far more impartial, but to humans – especially the array of them, left to rot in hell– such trivial definitions could not make a difference, not when they could feel spiders crawling out of each of their orifices and larvae moving into their stomachs, getting larger and larger after feeding on the very flesh of their victims, growing until the skin ripped apart because of their pressure, leaving intestines and fluids to fall to the ground... for Zestial few things could be more pleasant than seeing the pure, unhinged terror in the eyes of a man that got to see all of his interiors before being graced with death.
If, he was graced with death.
Zestial could be a little sadistic, after all, if he deemed it necessary. Of course, he had standards, and the fear of the innocents had never amused him as much as the one of those who made themselves big on others’ weaknesses... but luckily for him, there in the Pride Ring, there was never a shortage of his favourite picks.
Now that he was an old Lord, with thousands of souls backing his power and centuries of experience under his belt, slithering around the alleys of hell to feed on screams was no longer a need, but he kept doing it, as a form of amusement... one that had lost its appeal long ago.
He kept the habit out of boredom, and in some rare occasions he had even been pleasantly surprised...
Tonight, it promised to be one of those lucky times.
Carmilla was rightfully exhausted.
After officially hiring her, Rif had sent her out on another job almost immediately. It was probably for the best, as per agreement her first job was just a trial and she wouldn’t get paid, but goodness, wasn’t she tired. Between the interview, fixing the gun, the job with Martha, the job on her own, running errands for K.N.I.F.E, the paperwork for her “being hired on contract”, her first real mission as an hired gun, it had already become 22:00, and she had gotten up at six after not enough sleep at all, not after the day she had had, nor the double shift she had to endure on Saturday night, before... well, before dying. Better not to think about it.
The point was: she had slept less than 6 hours in the past two days, got into an ugly fight and walked up and down for half of that forsaken ring, and now she was exhausted. She only wanted to go and climb into a bed that was no longer hers, and she couldn’t. She had nowhere to go, and she needed the money to try and start anew. So, she would grit her teeth and keep bearing the pain and fatigue in silence.
At least, Pica had got her an old phone, so she wouldn’t have to go back to base to receive new orders... it was a small mercy she was grateful for, especially since Rif had just texted her a new mission... an harder one. The promise of extra pay, and that she would get the next day off helped keeping her spirit high.
22:00. Between reaching the site, retrieving the stolen engagement ring, and making her way back... yeah. This could all be over by 3:00 a.m., then, she would find a place to crash for the rest of the night. Everything else, would be a problem for tomorrow.
Carmilla took a deep breath, straightened and went on her way, map in her pocket and gun at her belt. She could do this. She needed to.
Feelings of disorientation and rage attracted his attention, and he indulged his instincts, called like a moth to the lamp... but he was no defenceless insect, and the light that had dared to catch his eye could be forever extinguished if he so desired.
The commotion and vibrations came from one of the many dirty alleys that infested the Pride Ring, and Zestial slithered into the darkness, unnoticed and undisturbed, to seize the situation. He found his place in a little corner, the brightness of his eyes dimmed by the veil of shadows surrounding his person.
He had always been an imposing being, and as such had spent decades of his time perfecting the art of hiding in plain sight... after all, there was nothing more terrifying than being attacked right there where safety was presumed to reside, and he was the Master of Terror.
At first glance, nothing seemed amiss: a group of five or six sinners, well equipped, all shouting and shooting toward something. How disappointing. He had almost hoped to find something interesting, instead of a common brawl... well, one has to content oneself from time to time. He would make the best out of it.
What could he do tonight, to amuse himself with those poor souls? Use his demonic form to reduce the whole lot in a nothingness of urine and tears? Send his beloved, venomous little pets to climb on their legs and pick at their limbs until the pain and confusion drove them halfway into madness? Or should he just tear them all apart, in a simple but always satisfying demonstration of power?
A white flash caught his attention, and that was enough for his plans to descent into oblivion. He didn’t know it yet, but the next few seconds were going to change the course of his afterlife.
His gaze was fixed on a cascade of hair.
Long, silvery hair, belonging to the most beautiful lady he had ever seen.
Zestial followed her movements avidly, like a wolf would his unsuspecting prey.
She was fast, even without wings.
The way she struck her adversaries reminded him of the kick of the mantis. She kept bouncing from building to building, using the limited space to her advance. Moving high, and not widely, making use of the shadows to camouflage herself, to force her enemies to shoot blindly. Many bullets ended up breaking into shreds or bouncing back at impact, rending the dark street an even worse battlefield for the lesser demons that, unable to get to a more elevated position, were stuck to the ground.
Zestial found himself musing about her motives to keep fighting: by now, she could have long fled the scene.
She was agile, and enchantingly so, her movements graceful like a ballerina’s.
She descended on them, an Erinne whose fury could not be contained, her knife as fast as a blink... and yet, her visage appeared cold, like she was taking no pleasure in her victory. He couldn’t focus on the shape of her mouth or the colour of her irises, quick as she was, but a crimson flash was still distinguishable in the darkness of the alley.
A misplaced thought crossed his mind– that those devils were quite fortunate, to have such a sight as their last memory of this life. He shook it away to bring his focus back on the woman, now standing victorious surrounded by corpses, like a black widow on her web.
Lethal, but elegant.
She seemed to hesitate for a second, looking around, feeling observed. She inspected the corners keeping up her guard, until her gaze pierced the darkness in which he had hidden himself, making him hold his breath, expectantly... but no common sinner could have spotted him so easily, if he didn’t allow so. They exchanged stares without her being the wiser, and he had time to assess that his mystery lady had, indeed, beautiful eyes.
Finally, she shrugged and made her way back to one of the men. She knelt on him to opened his jacket and retrieve a tiny box. She stood up to send a text, but didn’t move further.
So, she was an hired weapon. It didn’t suit her.
The woman still didn’t move. She kept staring at the dead man at her feet, seriously, quietly, almost religiously. The spectacle was over, but Zestial, just like her, couldn’t bring himself to slip away.
After some long minutes, she finally turned around, seemingly ready to leave... but something stopped her in her tracks. She went back on her steps and knelt again next to the man.
She closed his eyes gently, with a slight bow of her head. Only then, she left.
What an unexpected sight there in hell, were everything sacred had no value.
And so it was that lord Zestial found himself intrigued. Deeply intrigued, in fact. That was something exceptional in itself.
Carmilla felt nothing. Her rational side –the trained one, the one who had tried therapy, the one who had read the “self-help” books and done meditation– told her that she was probably dissociating, and that she needed a minute or so to rest, get back in touch with her emotions and collect herself... but she was too shocked to care, and so she kept walking, her feet numb and icy but still able to carry her. Where was she going? She was lost. She had to go back home. Where was home?
She had killed a man.
It didn’t matter that he would come back or whatever. His blood was on her hands. She was a monster
She kept wandering aimlessly for what it felt like hours. Around five in the morning, she finally made her way back to K.N.I.F.E.
She went in and gave her report like an automaton. She handed the tiny box. John complimented her, and she gave a soulless reply. Why wasn’t Rif here? She could remember something about the occasional night shift, but it was all confused. It didn’t matter. She crashed on the sofa and passed out, finally blessed with a dreamless sleep.
When she woke up, she realised she had been dead for more than 48 hours. Would her funeral be tomorrow? Who would attend?
Pica kept calling her, shaking her from her stupor.
《Hey? Carmilla? Are you in there? 》
《Yes, yes, I’m awake. Sorry, I was really tired. 》
《I can see it. Fuck, Rif, you wore her out》
《I’m fine. 》the last thing she wanted was looking weak 《where you saying something? 》
《Yeah, that if you want you can crash at my place until you find somewhere else. NOT for free, mind you. 》
Carmilla shrugged. Anything was good at the moment; she only wanted a bed.
《Thanks. We can go as soon as Rif pays me for yesterday. Okay? 》
《Yeah, works for me. 》
Zestial had been around for centuries; he was the most ancient Overlord, and the most powerful, having had almost four hundred years to amass souls and resources. He had spent his first centuries refining his abilities, cultivating his powers, binding to himself anyone who could prove themselves useful... and keeping his relationship with the other Overlords civil, when possible. It often wasn’t.
He was deeply feared and respected... but he lacked competent allies. Allies who would come up with their own well thought plans to weaken the ones they opposed and not only limit themselves to apply what he instructed. Intelligent people could be dangerous, but they also had so much potential. Zestial was no gambler... but he knew how to take a calculate risk, from time to time.
His mystery lady was obviously skilled, and probably had more hidden talents beside her strength, but that wasn’t unheard of... what got him was her attitude. She was probably fresh in hell, from the look of it, but still. Someone capable to hold on their principles even in afterlife was quite notable. For powerful that he was, he was aware of his limits: given the state of things, the only way he could get even more of the Pride Ring under his influence was doing so indirectly. Maybe this young soul would turn out to be the ally he desired, to whom he would grant trust and that would repay him with her own. They would watch each other’s back, and expand their web of influence... if she proved herself to truly be as wonderful as she seemed, and if he managed to gain her devotion, then they could become quite the fearsome allies. He just needed to shape her as he desired.
But first, he had to track her down. His web of spiders was already at work, following her every movement, and it wouldn’t be long before he could know everything about her. After all, it was better to strike before she found someone else to be loyal to... it would be a true waste of potential.
Notes:
I do, in fact, have a diagnosed derealisation disorder. It's not nice, but it can happen to anybody under stressful circumstances. Here I'm using my direct experience: sometimes, when I fall into derealisation, I am aware of it, just unable to snap out of it. It can last a few minutes or hours. I love Carmilla deeply, and that's why before giving her the happy ending that she deserves, I'm going to make her go through a lot... but almost all her physical symptoms will be based on things that I experienced on my own skin, so they will look less like a medically accurate report and more like how a person in that situation would feel and interpret it. I have never been pregnant tho, so for that I rely on people I know for accuracy.
Zestial here doesn't know Carmilla yet, nor love her. He is fascinated, and he will fall hard and fast, but be ready for him trying to be slightly manipulative and not always the best in the next few chapters. He is a gentleman, but one that has earned his place in hell because of his many mind games and schemes. It would be weird if he didn't somehow try to get the upper hand on her at the start.
If you're asking yourself why Pica was there: John called her. To him Carmilla seemed fine, so it wasn't out of worry, but because he knows that Pica is used to host new sinners for a price, and thought she would do the same for her. John was doing the night shift because Martha had to stay out late on a mission.
Chapter 5: 4– Of deals, roommates and cheap mugs. Not in that order.
Summary:
Carmilla is trying to get her life back together, but it's hard when you're not even sure that you'll still be there to see the end of the month.
First official meeting between our favourite Overlord and our beautiful lady!
Notes:
Nothing to say here, check the final notes, they may help clarify some points... I hope you will enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
4– Of deals, roommates and cheap mugs. Not in that order.
《So, this is my place. You get the couch, a shelf in the fridge and a drawer in the kitchen. You can put your clothes on the chair, when you get them. Rent is 50 bucks a week, mostly because we need to bribe the landlord to let you stay. You can use the bathroom, but don’t touch my shit, you can use the kitchen, but don’t eat my food. There’s little warm water, so shower fast, and there’s no heater, but I can lend you a blanket. Fuck whomever you like, but don’t trash the place, it’s already shitty as it is. In a couple of months, I want you out, if I had wanted a roommate I would have stayed with my ex. ¿Está todo claro, muchacha? 》
《Yes. Stay out of your hair, I get it》 Carmilla shrugged, sitting on the couch. It was still better of some places where she had crashed to as a teen, so nothing new under the sun.
《Good. Now, I gotta go. Do your things and don’t get me evicted》
Pica went out, and Carmilla let herself sink into the couch. She was so tired, and had absolutely nothing to cheer herself up, not even coffee.
Her first pay had been 400$, 100$ of which had gone towards repaying Pica for the phone. This month she would need another 200$ for rent, leaving her with barely enough money for food (if she DID survive to pay the fourth week of rent, of course).
She needed clothes. A brush, underwear. At least 10$ would need to go towards laundry.
As a child, she had grown used to walk around with stained t-shirts and sticky socks, the smell easy to ignore in the mess of the streets... but she hadn’t been in such state since she had been taken in by the orphanage, and in her adult life she had always been quite well groomed. She couldn’t lose the little control she had left over her life by letting herself fall into degradation. Even if she had to hand-wash everything in cold water, she would stay clean.
She would make a list of necessities and stick to it. Groceries could wait, for a week or so she would make do with some noodles or crackers... if things worked out, she would be called for another job soon, and that would give her enough money for healthier meals.
Shelter, enough to not starve, hygiene and then everything else. That had always been the order.
She could do this. She had to.
Carmilla was almost done with her shopping. The only thing missing was a brush, and then she would be all settled to finally go “home” and rest. She was so tired, and her back was killing her.
She was snooping around for a good deal, when she spotted it.
A black coffee mug with a red ballerina printed on top.
She instinctively reached for it, before catching herself and dropping her arm.
It was silly, really. She didn’t have much money, nor space, and nice things weren’t on her priority list, the wise thing to do would be managing without it, at least for a little while, or buying a cheaper one... but. The mug was so similar to the one she had owned when she was still alive, with the ballerina depicted in an eternal Èpaulé against the dark background.
The cup she had owned was black and white, and it had been an housewarming present to herself, when she had managed to get her first apartment. It had meant so much for her, being able to buy something just because it was pretty, like a physical reminder of her newfound financial stability, if not security... how hard had she worked to build her life from scratches? rising from an homeless orphan to a detective had taken a series of efforts and sacrifices that had spanned throughout almost two decades, always studying and working harder than anyone else to prove that she was worth the investment, the time, the trust... and now? Her life was over, and she was again left with nothing to her name.
She could feel tears stinging her eyes. It was unfair, so damn unfair. She had done what she had to take some fucking predators off of the streets, why was that enough to condemn her to this? She didn’t deem herself superior or a Saint, but she hadn’t been selfish. She had only tried to make things a little better... guess it wasn’t a good enough explanation for the “good guys”. Well, fuck them.
This was her new reality, and she would carve a place for herself, like she had done the first time. She would turn this hellhole into an home.
She grabbed the mug with determined fury, and put it in her basket. Her sanity of mind was well worth ten dollars.
So.
Underwear, three shirts and another pair of pants had amounted to 57$. Buying a mug for 10$ (she did not regret it), a toothbrush, a comb, toothpaste, soap, 2 in 1 shampoo & conditioner (her hair would be ruined, but she needed them clean) and laundry detergent had left her with 15,50$. She had bought cheap coffee, an 8$ pack of “alternative meals” bars and a 2$ bag to actually carry around her stuff. And look: she even had 2$ to spare!
She was ruling this.
《Did you... did you clean my apartment? 》
《Yeah, you know how it is. Starting on a good foot and all of that. Don’t get too used to it》
Carmilla had come home still feeling crushed, and stepping foot into the messy flat had almost sent her over the edge... but she had quickly composed herself.
She wanted to at least get her own bedroom before allowing herself a full breakdown.
Being the practical and hard-working woman that she was, she had figured out that doing something to improve her current living situation would make her more good than crying over it... so she had looked around until she found a bottle of all-purpose detergent, some rugs and a sponge. Pica, apparently, even owned a broom!
Then, she had scrubbed that place until it fucking sparkled.
Her knees hurt, but it had been worth it. At least the rancid smell wouldn’t torment her all night long.
Pica shrugged
《Fine by me, shit was piling anyway.》 She eyed Carmilla’s new shirt《 Did you do your shopping? Followed my advice? 》
Yeah... Carmilla wasn’t going to steal shit. Not on her first time at the mall. Like, she wasn’t above it, and she had to when she was much younger, but she still needed to figure out the best escape route and a confrontation with security wasn’t what she needed to end her day. She would purchase things in the honest way as long as she could, and avoid troubles and haunting déjà-vu.
《Bought some necessities. 》she replied instead, noncommittally. Pica was helping her, but had made it clear that it was only a temporary thing, a kindness inspired by the hate they had both received in life. Neither of them could afford to give too much and Carmilla wouldn’t ask.
《Good for you. I’m here to change, I’m going to a party》Pica headed toward her room, but then she paused to look at her up and down 《do you want to come? Entry for gals is free》
Carmilla stared at her, perplex
《Do you mean like... the sober friend thing? 》
Pica busted out laughing
《No! Oh pentagram, no. You can’t come to one of these parties and stay dry! 》She paused to catch her breath 《what, were you Muslim or something? Because, great news, it doesn’t matter anymore what you do, you’re in hell. Or are you just a teetotaller? Because that’s even sillier》
《Neither. Just don’t feel like drinking. 》 Carmilla gave a shrug, trying to mask her uneasiness. She didn't feel well, she had barely bought anything to eat, and the mere idea of getting alcool into herself under such circumstances made her recoil《 I’m trying to find my footing, getting wasted won’t help... but I can still come with you if you want. For safety 》
She was tired, but never impolite... it was a force of habit, to give more of what she was physically able too. It had made her popular during exams, and overworked most of the year. Pica gave her the side-eye, almost annoyed, before going to her room.
《Better no. It wouldn’t be fun with a guard dog. 》
When her host finally emerged, a good hour later, she was clad in a two-piece matching set composed by shorts and a glittery top. Carmilla guessed that, given the ability of her hair, she wouldn’t need to take a purse or jacket with her.
《Have fun, call if needed 》
Pica gave a noncommittal grunt, but something stopped her on her tracks. She stared at Carmilla for a long minute, before resolving herself to spit out whatever was on her mind
《Carmilla...》 She chewed on her lips, like every word was costing her a big deal《you seem smart. Try to not lose yourself like the rest of us. 》
Then she headed out, not to be seen until much later into the next morning.
9 pm. K.N.I.F.E. quarters
The conference room of the “Killers N Investigators Finding Evidence” headquarters had seen, in its six years of activity, many kinds of clients. Their common denominators? The need of retrieving something that had been stolen, of gathering proof of a cheating spouse for some shit-show or another, and their low position in the social hierarchy.
Were you too weak for taking matters in your own hands?
Did you need someone to guard a low-budget event?
Did you have some money?
Then, K.N.I.F.E. was the right fit for you!
They stayed in their lane, and things went mostly smoothly. They didn’t deal with freaking Overlords!
Yet, here he was. Entertaining an Overlord. The oldest Overlord in all of hell. Rif gulped again, feeling extremely uneasy.
Lord Zestial had manifested himself in his office while he was finishing the paperwork for the day, and the poor sinner had almost pissed himself from the fear. His years of practiced steel-nerves had been his only saving grace.
He had greeted the Overlord as politely as he was able to, then he had sat, offering his services. Maybe the older sinner only wanted something retrieved, and it would be a painless affair.
That was not the case.
Lord Zestial had looked down at him with his poisonous glare and, in a calm voice that made you wish to evade your own skin, had inquired about his newest hire, Carmilla Carmine.
What the actual fuck?
The Overlord had explained – with the tone of someone who doesn’t owe explanations to anybody and it’s only humouring the pretence of courtesy – that he had heard of Carmilla from a trusted source, and now wanted her to take a job from him, to test her skills. And what kind of job: looking over some of the souls owned by him during the next extermination; more than a test, it could be correctly defined as a mission with no return.
《Doth thou deem her fit for the task?》
Had asked the Overlord, almost mockingly, after he had finished to expose his request.
And Rif... no, he didn’t. Carmilla was strong and bright, but she had never experienced an extermination. The noise, the smell and the chaos were enough to send even some of the most seasoned souls into hysterics, a newbie like her wouldn’t be able to withstand the horror... especially not if she was supposed to stay and protect other souls instead of hiding.
《She has been out on a couple of jobs, and she seems promising... but sir, she’s freshly dead. She knows nothing about how to survive an extermination. I suggest hiring someone more skilled. 》
《Thou doth seem to care about thine employees well-being quite a deal, for the owner of an hired-guns company. 》
《I… I just don’t wish for you to find our services lacking because of a bad pick, sir. Someone else could serve you better. 》
《Then. We shall call upon the woman herself. Allow her to make the choice, and I’ll not hold thee responsible if she can’t live up to expectations. 》
Rif wanted to deny him. He didn’t meddle with overlords, and Carmilla did look promising, and somehow kind and full of life, he didn’t want her dead if she died, he would lose a potential great employee. She was skilled with guns, after all.
《Thank you, sir, yet…》
A single glare from Zestial was enough to kill the bravery that had managed to reach the sinner’s tongue
《Art thou denying mine request?》
《No! No, sir, of course, I would never! 》
《Then organise an encounter with her, before I melt thee from the inside.》
《As you wish, sir. I’ll talk to her tomorrow... 》
《Summon her now.》
《Pardon?》
《No time like the present. Summon the lady, I shall ask her directly, and I shall ask her tonight. 》
《Of course sir. As you demand. 》
Left with no other choice, he sent Carmilla a text. Maybe, if she didn’t reply, the Overlord would lose interest and give up on hiring her... but the girl was too damn hardworking, and replied in less than five minutes that she would arrive in half an hour.
Alone with the powerful Overlord, the sinner could do nothing but try and soft him up for Carmilla. She didn’t know the ways of hell yet, and her earnestness may sound like disrespect to the ones used to absolute obedience... stressing the fact that she had died less than a week ago and that she was still kind of naive were the only protections that he could possibly try and put between her inexperience and an Overlord’s wrath over a perceived slight... still, he couldn’t bring himself to speak. Yes, he liked Carmilla, but not enough to risk his skin for hers. He had other employees to think about, and an overlord’s anger was not something they could afford. Still, he tried to find a good way to speak on Carmilla’s behalf for ten solid minutes, giving up without even starting several times, before Zestial interrupted him for good.
《Thou shall go and resume thine closing activities until her arrival. I doth not wish to force more overtime upon neither》
It was the politest “fuck off” someone could receive from an Overlord, and the sinner took it. He had done what he could, now it was up to Carmilla to read the room and not get torn into pieces.
How the hell had that girl gotten herself into an Overlord’s radar in less than a week? If she kept bringing troubles, he would have to let her go. Better sooner than later, before he and the others got too attached to her... if she survived her first misstep, that was it.
Apparently, not joining her new roommate (flatmate? Temporary host?) had been the right choice, since her new boss summoned her to work less than an hour later.
Carmilla was fresh from her shower, and ready to jump in the comfiest T-shirt she had been able to buy, but given her lack of resources she was in no position to object; so, she got dressed, put her hair back in a ponytail, and headed out the apartment. More walking, how fortunate!
She had always been athletic, first out of need and then out of her love for classical ballet, and in her adult years her job had kept her active... but damn, did her feet hurt today. She just wanted to put them up.
When she finally reached the office, her boss was waiting for her on the threshold.
The man was short and chubby, but had a professional demeanour that put her at ease. Now he was covered in sweat, pale in the face, and she wondered about what happened to reduce the usually composed sinner in a nervous wreck.
《Ah, Carmilla. Here you are. How was the walk? 》
He was... stalling. She inconspicuously adjusted the blade in her sleeve, scanning their surroundings.
《I had no troubles on my way here. You wanted to see me about an urgent job, should I grab the red or the blue block note? 》it was code word. Red meant that there were troubles, blue that everything was under control.
He gave her an almost proud look 《The blue one. But please, keep in mind that red ink may be required, so keep it within hand reach》
Ah, so that was it. An important client whose discontent would cost them, if things didn’t go according to their plans.
Carmilla wondered why the boss had called her in for such a tricky matter, since she was new. Was it some sort of test? In any case, she needed to handle it perfectly.
《Of course sir.》He gave her a nod, and started to walk toward his office. She followed.
It took her a second to adjust to the complete darkness the room was bathed in. The only thing that gave away the presence of another, were two pairs of glowing green eyes.
As the figure raised, some of the darkness seemed to dissolve like fog. Now that she could see more clearly, she focused her attention on the new client.
He was... tall. Imposingly so, and a pristine top hat contributed to visually elongate his figure even more. His thin frame was completely enveloped in a dark cloak. A big, spider-like pin kept it closed on his chest.
His unmoving eyes, still bright even in the no longer obscure office, seemed to take in every centimetre of her person. A shiver ran down her back, and she felt weirdly underdressed. Exposed and vulnerable. Like the gun at her belt could do nothing to keep her safe.
Still, she straightened and reciprocated his stare. The man kept up his grin-like smile, but seemed pleased.
Her boss gained back their attention with a light, awkward cough.
《Lord Zestial, sir, this is Carmilla Carmine, my newest hire.》
《Carmilla, this is Lord Zestial. He... heard about you, and was interested in purchasing your services for a task of the outmost importance. 》
She greeted the Overlord with an almost imperceptible nod of her head
《It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.》
《The pleasure is mine, miss Carmine. So》 his grin stretched into a full, glowing smile, sharp like his fingers《let us talk about business. 》
Notes:
Yes, Zestial is kind of a bastard to poor Rif. And why not? He is ancient, bored, and hasn't yet had the chance of refreshing his manners. He wants something, and he is going to get it no matter what: his manners are only a tool to get his way, nothing more... at least, in these circumstances.
It may look like Rif is too fond of Carmilla, considering how little he knows her, just to then switch to wanting to fire her... let me explain. My Carmilla, because of reasons that will be later explored, has literally a different aura from other sinners that makes her look and feel almost alive, and it drags other sinners to her, for better or worse. This, with her personality, talent, beauty and attitude makes easy for people to find her enchanting... but this doesn't mean that they're automatically willing to risk their skin for her. Attraction is not always equal to devotion.
No, Carmilla hasn't been dead for a week: it has barely been three days : died around 5a.m. on Sunday, spent the day in an haze and then with Pica that took her to K.N.I.F.E on Monday, where she worked the whole day and night... now it's Tuesday, she spent the day doing chores and made her way to K.N.I.F.E around 10p.m... so she has been dead for around 65 hours. She's just being really vague about it to avoid looking too vulnerable.
I had doubts about making Carmilla buy the cup, I almost forced her to let it there... but, using my own experience, I decided that having her make an "unwise" monetary choice worked better: she is trying to get her afterlife to look like the life she knew, without yet realising that things will never be the same again. There were days in which I was a little short on money, and still decided to buy a "treat" over "necessities" because I thought it would benefit me more on the long run... sometimes I wad right, sometimes I was wrong.
Thanks for reading!
Chapter 6: 5- I saw something pretty one day
Summary:
Carmilla and Zestial need to meet again. While getting ready, both think about their first meeting and reflect about the impression that the other has made on them.
Notes:
Okay, here Zestial speaks more, so:
"Thou" is for "you", as a subject
YOU/THOU are lovely
"Thee" is for "you" as an object
Can I do something for YOU/THEE
"Thy" will be mostly used for "thyself", meaning "yourself"
"Thine" means "yours". There are other forms, more archaic, like "thyn" or "thyne", but my autocorrector is already going crazy, so let's make our lives easier. This story is long and, while I want and need to establish a good speech pattern for Zestial, having to put translations or too many notes won't do.
Regarding the story: stuff is going to happen. This chapter was supposed do have even more in it, but it was getting too long, so I decided to divide them. I really hope it turned out fine, it was hard to write, but I'm quite content with it right now.
I'm submerged by exams, so next week I might have troubles updating, or I might update during the weekend.
All feedback It's immensely appreciated- it gives me energy, and knowing what you all think helps me making some choices for the parts of this story that are still "in divenire" (work in progress)
Read the final notes for added details... and enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
5– I saw something pretty one day
I saw something pretty one day,
And like Hades I gave into the temptation
Of stealing it away, burring it underground
So that I could cradle it into my grave,
Like a rose in a bed of thorns.
Carmilla had revealed herself to be even more intriguing than he had imagined.
Upon their first meeting, it was obvious to him that she was bone tired, but she had still stood, confident and stern under his gaze, a white lion, magnificent in its rarity. And yet... inside she burnt with a passion, a will to live and fend for herself so fiery that it could have melt steel into nothingness. Each question, each demand, sparkled something inside of him. It was strange, the icy aura emanating from her warm skin was uncanny and befitting at the same time. It made him want to observe her, examine her every limb and thought, until he figured out all her secrets. It was almost like the roles had been reversed and she, the freshly deceased, was cold and unreachable, while he, the devil with ice in his veins, felt warmth rise in his bones at the mere idea of her closeness...
Those were... some extremely inappropriate thoughts to entertain toward a lady, a potential ally no less, and Zestial chastised himself repeatedly for his lack of decency.
Still, he couldn’t avoid the desire of having her all to himself. He was not used to share, maybe a slight sense of possessiveness could just not be helped... but as long as he didn’t act on it, there was no harm done, and he was nothing but a controlled gentleman. What if he didn’t like the idea of her working for someone else? He just felt like it was a waste of her energy, especially seen on how many mundane errands they sent her. He wouldn’t waste her time in such a way!
He willed his muscles to relax. Asking her to drop everything and come to work for him full time after only one meeting would just scare her away, and scaring her away would just slow down his plans. He needed to be patient, and bid his time, even if it meant sharing that intriguing mind of hers for a little longer. He had spent eons without her, a few more months wouldn’t be a problem... and anyway, nobody could stop him from reminiscing to trick the time, if so he desired
Their first official meeting had been exciting. Zestial was in death just as courteous as he had been in life, but always with the unspoken truth that he didn’t owe his consideration to any sinner. He had, from time to time, graced some of the more interesting Overlords with his presence, like Lady Rosie, but he never put in those visits any effort to be perceived as pleasant... Yet, with Carmilla, he found himself willing to indulge each and every rule of chivalry. Something told him that mere good manners could never be enough to make an impression on such a woman.
When she had come into the office, it was still submerged in shadows, but he could see her clearly. Her eyes focused on his own, white irises and red sclera, while she seized him up. He towered over most sinners, and he could feel her uneasiness, the vulnerability running under that steel-like skin, but for the first time he didn’t rejoice in it. Powerless and tired, she didn’t even flinch. Dignified until the end, a flower challenging winter.
He tried to give her a smile, but it had been centuries since his glee had been born from something different than a bloodshed, and all he could manage was a grin.
Her boss introduced them, but he didn’t pay attention to him. He would send the man out soon anyway; he had a jewel to inspect and he wished to do so in private.
Carmilla Carmine, Carmilla Carmine, Carmilla Carmine.
That name that his spiders had whispered to him through their web all day long, that he had savoured on his tongue since knowing it for the first time, that he had yet to associate with well-defined features but that spoke of bravery and piety, the name of a woman that still honoured the corpse from whom she had taken. That name, the lady it represented, were now standing in front of him, frizzy curls and gentle lips, a blade in her sleeve and gun at her belt. A forbidden fruit, and he didn’t know why.
《It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.》
Oh, that voice, the sharp tongue that its softness concealed... the attention that she paid to his every word, the way she studied him.
Her foresight (she felt so alive next to him, he wanted to rise his hand and touch her cheeks and throat, feel the rising and fall of her lungs. He barely needed to breathe)
Her fury in rejecting what she didn’t approve (there would be time to change her mind)
The way her whole being vibrated with curiosity when she finally dared to pose her last, forbidden question, a longing for power unknown to the woman herself pushing her over the edge of her pragmatism (they would need to work on that, he couldn’t let her put herself in harm’s way without a plan... but Lucifer, didn’t the sparkle in her eyes made his head feel dizzy)
She would not go down without a fight. She would not submit.
It was indeed fortunate that he didn’t want her to.
Zestial smiled, straightening his pin, and slithered away from his Manor. There would be plenty of time to gain Carmilla’s trust and make her see his ways... but for now, he had to go and “pick her up” to escort her to the meeting with his other associates. They had an extermination to prepare for, after all.
《So, let us talk about business. 》
Carmilla couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out how, but she had been hired by an Overlord. On her third day in hell. Rif hadn’t been too enthusiastic, telling her to not let the others find out, but had refrained from outright scolding her: It wasn’t her fault if she had made an impression, and that gig promised good money for the team as well.
Yes, it also almost promised a second death, but that would be a worry for another day. For now, it would be better to focus on more imminent things, like what to wear to meet the new colleagues she was supposed to work with. Lord Zestial had told her to bring something warm, since the meeting would be held underground, but Carmilla didn’t own a jacket and had no money to buy another. The shirt with whom she had manifested in hell was the nicest thing she owned, but it didn’t exactly scream “professionalism”, and was way too eye catching to risk it. Why couldn’t they have a normal meeting in a normal office?
Because she had gotten herself hired by what could be, for all she knew, a madman, that’s why.
Pica would kill her if she knew that, after all her warnings, Carmilla had still agreed to work for an Overlord, even if only briefly... she felt a bit guilty, really, but as risky as it was, the offer had been too good to pass.
Carmilla felt uneasy. Lord Zestial had asked Rif to leave the room to discuss the details of the job privately. Her boss had given her a desolate stare, as to ask her not to blame him for his compliance. She had smiled at him: making people feeling guilty about dumping things on her had never been something she was good at, acting understanding and reassuringly came much more natural to a character as honest as hers. Being left all alone with a shady opponent put her on edge, even if he didn’t seem interested in being hostile... but she was no coward, and so had done her best to listen carefully and figure out what his deal was.
The Overlord had exposed his plans clearly, without attempting to disguise the risks of the whole operation, and this calmed her a little: even someone powerful could be reasonable, and as long as he didn’t lose his temper, she would have no qualms about trying to be, in her answer, as candid as he had seemed to be in his offer.
《So, you wish to hire me to help put together a last minute contingency plan to keep some of the souls you own out of harms way. This would involve working on a really strict schedule with people that I have never met before, and also entrust them with my life and safety while I’m getting my part of the job done... outside, during what is basically a mass genocide, and of which I have no first-hand experience. 》
《Some of the details are missing, but I deem thine summary satisfactory. What doth thou say, miss Carmine? 》
《I’m afraid I must refuse your offer, sir.》
《Is that so? Pray tell why? 》
She tried not to shiver under that voice. He didn’t seem angry, still sitting politely in the chair next to hers – well, it looked something like a chair, it was mostly made out of shadows – but how could she truly know? His face was as unreadable as a mask.
Honesty. Honesty was always the best course of actions, if you didn’t even know what to lie about.
《It sounds like a suicide mission, and I have just died last Sunday. I’m not eager to repeat the experience. 》
《Not even for a great profit?》
《Wouldn’t be worth too much compared to my very existence, sir. I can always try my luck and find a lucrative gig after the extermination, but not if I’m double dead. 》
《So, thou art saying that, to even consider working for me, I shall make thee an once in an afterlife-time offer... I paid smaller prices for the ownership of whole souls. Thou drive an hard bargain indeed, mine dear lady. 》his words were measured, but his tone was light, almost jovial.
Carmilla felt the knot in her throat loosen a little. Her bravery rose a bit more.
《The buyer doesn’t make the price. If you want me to put my existence on the line for your gain, you must be ready to try and show me how doing so could benefit me as well. 》
《A battle of persuasion, then, miss Carmine?》
《If you wish to call it so, sir. But empty words won’t win me over. 》
《And I shall not attempt to waste thine time with such drivel. Let’s start with thine concerns about mine associates keeping their end of the deal and not putting thee intentionally in harm’s way; thou wouldn’t be entrusting thyself to them, yet to mine self: thou, of all the sinners I considered for this task, art the only one whose soul I doth not have bound to me by a contract. I shall give orders that they keep their word to thee, and they will have to oblige. For what regards trusting me... 》 he paused, letting the words linger in the air, studying her stoic features for a trace of yielding《...I guarantee I doth not make empty promises, like I doth not make empty threats; I’m a gentleman of mine word, thou may ask to any soul in hell. Proceeding with mine case... thou shall face this extermination, that thou’re ready or not. Doing so while working for me won’t be excessively more dangerous than spending the day trying to hide on thine own. Thou might find solace in the company, and in the certainty that, should things turn for the worst, there would me more than a soul between thee and the angels’ spears 》
《Why should it be? I’m not one to flee the scene when I’m needed the most, and I doubt that anyone would willingly sacrifice themselves for my sake. 》
《Of course, I had no wish to imply that thou’re a coward. Yet, mine associates would give precedence to thine safety because I shall order so, obviously. An hired contract is more important than an owned soul, in this case. 》
Oh, no. She would have none of it
《Don’t you dare. 》she uttered between gritted teeth, sounding angrier than she meant to, and he lowered his eyes on her again, trying to figure her out, like a scientist dissecting a frog. She took a deep breath – how many breaths would she need to take just to survive this conversation? – and tried to salvage her outburst. She really couldn’t afford to escalate the situation 《With all due respect, sir, I already don’t particularly like the idea of souls being owned – but that’s hell’s way, so I won’t criticise you for it. But I couldn’t ever stand the idea of someone being forced to lay down their existence for me. Should I accept the job, you’ll not do such thing: your orders in my regard will limit themselves to a ban to stab me in the back, and nothing else. 》
The scientist in his eyes turned into an amused pupil, and there was almost a fond exasperation in him when he spoke again, no offense taken
《Hast someone ever told thee that thou’re quite the peculiar creature, miss Carmine?》
《Plenty of people in plenty of occasions. I stay firm in my position. 》
《Then, I shall oblige thee. I shall not force anyone to give their life for thee. Now, may I proceed? 》
She nodded, satisfied.
《Very well. This is the final point thou shall take into consideration: if thou agree, I shall let thee keep the weaponry thou will be equipped with even after the mission. It might help thee greatly, to have something more than a single gun and an embezzled knife to thine name. 》She didn’t take his bait, but her brows furrowed briefly and her gaze fell on the blade hidden under her shirt. He wanted to know if she would figure out how he had figured out that it wasn’t originally hers, but all in good time《 If things don’t work out at thine current employment, being well equipped will grant thee more options for the future. All this in addition to an extremely generous pay check that will help thee settle in thine new afterlife much faster. Affording transportation, an apartment... such luxuries don’t come easily. 》he grinned down at her, probably noticing how tempting she found his offer. Laying back against his chair in satisfaction, he summoned a contract and offered it to her to read《What doth thou say, miss? Is the prospect of a great improvement of life enough to consider risking thine safety a little more than what thou would be otherwise forced to? It seems a fair deal. 》
She didn’t like how sure of himself he sounded. The smile on his face was almost mockingly, as a refusal at that point was unfathomable. It rubbed her in the wrong way: yes, she was at disadvantage, but she was still the sole owner of herself, and he had no right to think that she would bend to his orders just because he worded them nicely. He had great manners, but they weren’t enough to mask his arrogance, and he had still to arouse in her an admiration sufficient to justify it. Her pride willed her to refuse, and her self-preservative instinct urged her to put as much distance as possible between this demon and herself...
Yet.
There was something about him and his attitude that captivated her, and encouraged her to get nearer, to know more... surely he guarded plenty of secrets, and Carmilla’s yearn for knowledge had always been her Achilles’ hell. But how much was she willing to risk for a gut feeling?
There had to be a good balance, somewhere between fleeting and getting stuck into his web. He had made an offer, and in the privacy of her brain she could admit it wasn’t a wicked one, but maybe she could make some demands as well, to gain herself something more precious than money, and to make things clear from the very first second: Overlord or not, she would not submit to him. If he wanted her services, he would treat her as equal, at least as a person. She was used to be ordered around by a boss or another, and that she could accept, because discipline in a group was needed to ensure the collective success... but being looked down for who she was, that’s where she had always drawn the line, and she had no intention of changing her ways now.
This was a negotiation, she could ask, but what was that she wanted? Deep down she knew, but allowing her ambitions to surface could turn into a double-edged knife, she has spent a lifetime trying to settle for what she could reach... but what had it gotten her? Her life was over, and this might be her chance of doing something better for herself.
She was a ballerina; the art of balance was her own. She could do this.
She fixed her gaze on the Overlord, who had been patiently waiting for her to make up her mind. At least she couldn’t accuse him of intemperance.
《Three conditions. If you’ll accept them, I’ll accept the job. 》
He grinned again, making an ample gesture with his right hand. It was bigger than hers.
《Let’s hear them, I’m sure we shall be able to work something out. 》
《First: If you’re giving me weapons for the extermination, I want them as soon as possible. I need to try them out and study the mechanisms, so if there are any problems during the battle I’ll have a backup plan. 》
《Extremely reasonable. This shall be granted hastily. 》
《Good. Second: I’m new to hell. I don’t know the politics, I don’t know the hierarchy, I’m unaware of who to seek and who to avoid to lead my afterlife in peace. Knowledge and power often align, and you seem to have plenty of both: I’m not interested in your secrets, but I want to know more about the workings of hell and how to survive it. Nothing fancy, but the “mess around and find out” method is not the one I wish to rely upon. I especially want to understand how to avoid getting tangled in a soul binding contract. Would you be willing to teach me a little? I ask for nothing more than some useful advices. 》
This time, it took a second for him to reply. He didn’t look offended, mostly surprised, but from his expression it was impossible to understand more
《I will. Yet thou shall swear to keep a certain discretion about mine teachings. And to trust mine judgement if I say that thou’re not yet ready to learn about something. 》
《Asking for teachings is in itself an act of trust. I’ll not push you. 》
《Then, we are in agreement. What is thine third condition? 》
Now it was Carmilla’s turn to pause, like if she was almost considering to back out, unwilling to push her luck... but pushing her luck had gotten her this far, and there would always be time to “know her place”
《More than a request, is an information. I have heard that the angels fight with angelic steel, and that after the extermination there are plenty of weapons left behind. Am I right? 》
She had heard of it by chance, it would have been impossible not to: everywhere – in the streets, at the mall, even on buses – there were poorly printed flyers, banners and warnings that, with their red ink, screamed to the entirety of the population of the Pride ring to stay away from all angelic weapons, distrust resellers and to try and send as many hell-born children as possible to some other rings for at least the following two weeks starting from two days before the extermination. They all had a weird seal, and were signed by a certain “princess Charlotte Morningstar”. Between that, a service at the radio and a few information that she had managed to catch from the TV while she was cleaning, Carmilla’s interest had been piqued. It screamed danger from all sides, but something about it also called to her, and this was her chance to know more. Deciding what to do with her freshly conquered information, would be a quest for another day.
This specific curiosity, judging by the deep frown on his face, resulted quite worrisome to the Overlord. He answered slowly, pondering each word with the outmost care
《Thou are indeed. That kind of steel is hard to discard, it usually takes several weeks of acidic rain sent by the King himself to dwindle them into something vaguely manageable for demons and hell-born to gather and throw aside. 》
《But there are some weapons made out of it even here in hell? 》she pressed, dissatisfied with his sudden reticence
《Poor imitations of weaponry: blades too dull to cut and some shapeless arrow unfit to be launched. Why? 》
《If I managed to gather some of that steel, would someone contest it? 》
His eyes seemed to glow for an instant, a flash of red appeared in all the green, but it was gone as soon as it had appeared
《A single cut could fester and kill you in a matter of hours. Many fall victim of the extermination when the angels are long gone, because they hurt themselves in the devastated streets. Thou shall stay away from such steel as much as thou’re able. 》
《But no one would contest me? 》 She insisted, turning completely toward the Overlord, her eyes glimmering with interest《give me a truthful answer, and I’ll consider all my requests satisfied. 》
He pursed his mouth in a thin line, but, for all his discontentment, in the end he couldn’t deny her (or maybe, he couldn’t deny himself the chance of seeing her face brightened by the sparkle of an idea).
《Thou would be free to do with it as thee please, should you be able to handle it in the first place. 》 was the curt reply; then, regaining his good mood, he leaned more into her as well《So? Will you work for me, miss Carmine? 》
Carmilla offered him her hand to shake 《With no trickery or deceit. I’m a woman of my word. 》
They touched for the first time, and there was electricity in that contact. Both choose to ignore it.
Notes:
So...
Zestial is a little dark. My poor devil hasn't had a relationship in 400 years and the last was an arranged marriage, let's cut him some slacks... but not too many.Carmilla is exhausted, but something in her is about to snap. She spent her human life settling for less, and trying to avoid drama, and she's getting tired of it. This will be elaborated more in the future.
WARNING: kind of spoiler (not really, mostly it's the summary of my take on these two)
Basically, my interpretation of their relationship at this stage is "he is in love at first sight, to the point of almost reaching obsession, but is too emotionally unaware to even notice, and really needs to learn to chill and some boundaries" and "she has so much shit going on that, until she sorts it out, she won't even have the time to think about romance... but she is intrigued by him, and finds him quite attractive, even if she would rather die than admit it".
They are still growing into who they will be, and their friendship is just blossoming... but I swear, the journey will be quite full of surprises!
Chapter 7: 6– New prospective
Summary:
Carmilla meets some of Zestial’s men- and they're not particularly happy about it.
Zestial sees his fascination with this lady grow, and finds himself unable to do much about it.
While coming up with plans for the extermination and trying to manage a crew of rogues, will there be any time for tenderness?
Notes:
So... I guess I should say a few words in my defence.
I apologise for the delay: this month has been rough. I finished exams, had to pack up for a move, got my period three times (yes, that wasn't pretty) and also decided that the whole time line of this story was off, and reworked it to fix the problem. Now this fanfiction will be longer, but I'll have enough chapters to explore everything properly.
In the meantime I wrote other stories, but didn't have the mental energy to focus on this, that it's so complex plot-wise.
From now on, we will be back to our weekly updates, even more frequent if I'm able.Last things last, this is quite the long chapter, with 6.666 words... so I hope this will back up my apology.
I thank everyone for your comments: they kept me company, gave me energy, and brought me joy... maybe it might sound a bit vain, but I really love receiving them. They help me fight the self doubt!
Now that all is said... please, enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
6– New prospective
《Art thou ready to meet thine new colleagues, miss Carmine? 》
Zestial asked, as soon as they had settled in the underground base. The room was well furnished, cold but decently comfortable, with seats and proper equipment, and Carmilla hoped her hair and long sleeves would be protection enough against the chill.
They had met in a secluded spot not too far from the K.N.I.F.E headquarters. The details of the job had been discussed at length after the reach of their deal, and lord Zestial had given her a few more suggestions before teleporting. The... travel, had not been necessary painful, it was like when you fell asleep on your arm for a while and couldn’t move it afterwards, but with her whole body. The numbness had still been unpleasant, though, and she had had to rely on the table once his grip on her had been removed, so she was quite sure that it wouldn’t become her favourite kind of transportation anytime soon. The fact that he had given her little warning hadn’t helped.
He had offered her his hand after explaining that he needed the contact to bring them both to destination without risking dropping her in the wrong spot, but once she had taken it, he had acted unexpectedly fast, pulling her against him and under his cloak without another word; everything had faded into a swirl of darkness and lights for a few seconds, and then she had found herself underground, with her legs numb and gripping the nearest thing for dear life. She felt that she would have been much more upset if he hadn’t released her as soon as it was over, putting a safe distance between his body and hers, and pulling a chair out for her in apology.
She had taken a deep breath, sitting down.
Maybe he wasn’t used to carry other people with him, and it was easier if he did it as fast as possible, as a bandage to rip off. She gave him the benefit of the doubt, and did not complain.
《You gave me all the information I have, sir. You can answer your question better than I. 》
He chuckled, the sound low and unfittingly warm
《That’s quite the correct observation. Then, I’m certain thou shall fare just fine. And remember not to give excessive confidence to these souls. They won’t hurt thee, yet they might be quite unruly. 》
《I’ll keep it in mind.》 She scanned the room《 Will they arrive anytime soon? 》
Zestial nodded
《As soon as I call upon them. Stay close to me. Sometimes souls can be a bit... dizzy, when summoned. 》he recommended, pulling her chair towards his own a bit
《Summoned? 》she asked, looking up at him. He seemed satisfied by her rise in attention, and gave her a smirk that on anyone else would have looked almost flirtatious
《Allow me to demonstrate 》
He moved his hand as to pull something invisible from the ground, and pools of greenish smog materialised from thin air. The smoke swirled into five different vortexes, and shortly after six figures stumbled out of them.
Most of the men hit the floor gracelessly, unable to keep their balance. At least, some had had the foresight of bringing a pillow, that they threw hastily aside as soon as their eyes focused on Zestial. Only one managed to land on his feet.
The Overlord looked at them with an emotionless expression, so different from the ones he had worn around her. He allowed them a few seconds to recompose themselves, before addressing them. Carmilla, at his side, stood up, uncomfortably aware of the attention laser focused on her
《Now that all art present, I shall do some presentations. Miss Carmine, this is mine crew destined to damage control, they shall introduce themselves to thee properly after mine departure. Gentlemen, this lady is Miss Carmine. She shall work by thine side to come up with a better strategy, and then assist with patrolling 》 he gave them all a dark stare, his eyes flashing with red like she had thought she had seen the previous night in Rif’s office. Displeased. 《Thou shall not mistreat her nor purposefully put her in harm’s way. Backstabbing is also vetoed. She’s been hired for the exact purpose of improving thine performance, and I hope thou shall keep it in mind. Doth I make mineself clear? 》
All men nodded, a few “yes my lord”, “of course” “at your command” echoed in the room. No-one dared to look him in the face.
Part of Carmilla – the one who had spent the last decade trying to make everyone do their job – was impressed. No yelling, no threat needed, no overwhelming show of power or authority. She had tried to have a similar effect on people when alive, even if in a kinder manner, and could respect the skill. Another side felt uneasy: those men looked rough, decently strong and not particularly fond of Zestial. To have such immediate obedience, he must have had great leverage against them... she needed to figure out exactly how strong a soul contract could be, but now was not the time.
Zestial was getting ready to leave
《Really well. I shall be back by the end of the witching hour. Have a productive meeting, and behave thyselves. 》he warned again, before turning to her 《miss Carmine. I leave them in thine hands. 》
《We will do our best 》she replied, used to answer for her partner or team as well.
He nodded, before teleporting away, the silence of his departure a bit underwhelming after the spectacle of the summoning.
She turned to her new colleagues, scanning them briefly: most were in their forties, starting with a big guy that resembled a werewolf and seemed ready to bite, while another equally buff man, with a shaved head and dressed as a sailor from the 30’s, studied her with disgust. The only one who was smiling at her was a blond, elegant man that looked a lot like an Apollo, with his long curls neatly styled and a pristine white outfit. He seemed out of place. Two men around her age, maybe a bit younger, kept staring at her like she was an hallucination. One had obviously dyed red hair while his companion looked a lot like a stoned teen. Carmilla noted that they had appeared from the same portal. Another man, a bit darker than she had been when alive, seemed to study her, even if with less disgust than his colleague. He was a bit older than her, and fairly handsome, if one had time to think about such things. Carmilla found it comforting: he looked so human compared to the rest of the sinners she had met, that her sympathy, even if disguised, went immediately to him.
Not that there was anything inherently wrong in how people looked down here... Pica had been good to her, just as Rif. And Zestial hadn’t harmed her either, for now.
Since the silence lingered, she re-introduced herself. 《Good afternoon, I’m Carmilla. You are? 》 the silence – hostile, amused or awed that it was – continued, so she prodded further《I’m not asking for your ID, a nickname will do. 》
They kept staring. The red one – or so Carmilla would call him, in lack of a better name – was the first to crack. And, for the next few minutes after that, hell broke loose.
《He’s Mikael, I’m Lukas.》
《Shut up! 》
《Well, someone had to take one for the team! 》
《Next time play with your own ass, asshole! 》
《It’s not like— 》
《You all, shut up! If I have to punch someone like last year, I’ll! 》 yelled the werewolf-like one, throwing the penholder settled on the table at them. He then turned to Carmilla, snarling《Who the fuck is this bitch, now? 》
《Carmela, or so it seems. 》commented the cute looking one, before adding 《Call me Marcus 》
《What is she doing here? Are we a knitting club now? 》 Marcus shrugged
《You should have asked the boss instead of cowering like the dog you are— 》
《Who did you call dog, you son of a bitch— 》
《Gentlemen! Please. 》 intervened Carmilla, not wanting things to degenerate. The insult hadn't escaped her, but there was no better way to make them stop than ignoring it, unless she wanted things to get out of control《I’m here to help, let’s not get violent》
The two bigger guys looked at her, to then laugh as if she had said a particularly juicy joke. Lukas and Mikael, emboldened by their peers’ attitude, started openly questioning her
《Are you a new soul? Why didn’t you get summoned like us? 》
《How long have you belonged to the boss? You look fresh 》
《True. Do you have special abilities or something? You didn’t get dropped 》
《You got special treatment. It isn’t nice. 》
《My dear fellows, you really turn deaf with fear when our lord is around. 》 their prodding was interrupted by the blond man, that threw her an apologetic look《Miss Carmine. You’re a free soul, right? 》 She nodded, and he turned to the other two for a moment《see? She couldn’t have been summoned. I’m Lauren, by the way》
《A free soul? For this job? 》Mikael jumped up
《Are you crazy? Or like– in deep shit? If you owe money, trust me, this ain’t worth it. 》insisted Lukas, shocked as if she had grown a second head.
They had gotten extremely close to her, and she gently pushed them away, to gain some breathing space
《I have been hired. Thanks for your concern, but I find the terms of my contract quite agreeable. Now, should we get down to business? 》
The answer was no: they couldn’t.
The first thirty minutes had been spent bickering, threatening, accusing, throwing stuff and jabs. Not only those people didn’t like her, they seemed to barely tolerate each other. Still, for all the screaming, something was certain: Zestial’s orders were stronger than their own anger. They insulted, and called her every name under the sun (well, Hyena), but none of them dared to harm her, even getting to the point of stopping midway into a fistfight if she put herself in between. Once realised that, Carmilla used it to her advance.
Lauren and Marcus were just happy to watch everything go down, and didn’t need handling. Mikael had lost interest soon, and Lukas was chatty but not aggressive. The hardest part had been tiring Hyena and Brutus into a bored acceptance of her presence, but she had managed after a while.
By midnight, everyone was seated, and they had finally started going through their plan for extermination day.
Carmilla noticed five things:
First, those men had no idea of what teamwork was;
Second, Lukas and Mikael were heavily co-dependent;
Third, Marcus was the unofficial boss, but wouldn’t do much with it;
Fourth, almost none of them hoped to make it out alive;
And last but not least, they had no idea of what they were doing.
What a well assorted team. Still, Carmilla didn’t give up, prodding and insisting until she got at least a broad idea of what the hell they usually did. Her findings were... disconcerting at best, if not outright disheartening
《And it works? 》she asked, in complete disbelief, as Mikael explained that he usually just wandered around without a real itinerary
《Not really. But it’s what we always do. 》
《... but it never worked? 》
《Hard to say. It’s not like we are keeping records, you should ask lord Zestial, if you really want to know. 》
She massaged her temples, before glaring at them, exasperated
《Wait. So, to make things clear, you’ve been using the same strategy that didn’t work for the past ten years, without any change, and always spending only a couple of weeks planning the logistics? 》
《Pretty much yes. Can we go on now? 》
《No! This is absurd, it makes no sense! It’s a terrible strategy under any aspect! 》
《Listen, doll 》 Started Brutus, and she readied herself for another string of insults and jabs《if you have any complaints, bring them up with the boss. We already got shit to sort out, and contrary to yours, out skins are on the line, so stop bitching and shut up! 》
《Brutus... 》warned Lauren, but Hyena interrupted him
《No, he’s right, why should give the time of the day to a newbie that doesn’t know shit about how things work here? She ain’t better than us 》
《Because the boss hired her, and he wants us to work with her. 》 reminded Marcus, emotionless《she isn’t wrong, to be honest, we keep doing the same thing every year, it’s getting old 》
《Don’t fix what ain’t broken 》
《Our strategy was never sound to begin with 》
《So, now you’re on her side? What, hoping to get laid one last time before the extermination? 》
《Repeat it if you’ve the nerve— 》
《Could we, please, FOCUS? 》 She interrupted. This was going nowhere, and their lives were on the line. She turned to each of them, her glare sharp enough to gain her a minute of silence《We need to make a plan, no time for bickering. I don’t think that I’m better than anyone in this room, and I can recognise that you have more practical experience, yet you need to stop acting like I’m just here for decoration: I’m a professional in my own right, and I can provide some insight that is lacking. 》she kept staring daggers at them, daring any to protest《we need to at least figure out what did or didn’t work in the past, to understand if we can salvage something, or cut the parts that made more damage than good... do we at least know how many of the people working on a contingency plan have been injured or worse each year? 》
Marcus was the one to offer the first, careful, reply, followed by Lukas
《For what I can remember, we had at least a death per extermination. Up to five injured, with a big chance of not surviving infection without being treated properly by lord Zestial 》
《And does he usually offers to tend to wounds? 》
《He never refused, but many of us would rather try their fate than ask. 》
“That’s so stupid” she thought, but kept it to herself 《Okay. We can start from there. Give me pen and paper, I’ll start putting some numbers down. Those who didn’t make it? Has it been investigated why? 》
《They were out during an extermination. Go figure. 》
《Yes. But the dynamic? Did they get cornered? Ambushed? Were they on their own or working in pairs? How many fatalities could have been prevented? Were they protecting their charges? 》
《Whoa, whoa, too many questions! How are we supposed to know? 》
《Didn’t you try to find out what had happened to your colleagues? 》
《No. The instant this shit is over, it’s again everyone for themselves. I’m not losing time trying to understand if Lukas here got beheaded or impaled 》
《Fuck you Mikael, don’t jinx me! 》
《Yeah, sorry, won’t happen again. Anyway, no, we don’t play detectives. Why do you care? 》
《Because, I have been hired to do this job, and I’ll do it thoroughly! 》the whole truth was, she couldn’t just accept the idea of the people around her dying without at least try to do something. They might not like her, and she surely couldn’t call herself fond of them either, but she still wished them safe. Not that she would say so, of course.
《I wonder what it feels like. Doing something because you wish to see it done right and not because you’re forced to. 》said Lukas, and Carmilla looked at him questioningly 《We are owned souls, and not particularly valuable ones, that’s why we don’t care. We just want to get this over with, with our afterlife intact. 》
《Most of us were in some kind of gang, or belonged to another Overlord before. Lord Zestial got us in a collective deal or by defeating our previous owner, and was never particularly interested in us or our skills. We just... hang around until he summons us. Not the worst we could get, but it ain’t exactly a rewarding career either. 》explained Mikael, with a shrug
It was weird, for her, having to frame Zestial in such light. Upon meeting him, she had felt that he was strong, and much more powerful than her, a potential danger... but she had still felt some sort of attraction towards him. He was captivating.
Making the image of the threatening yet gentlemanly Overlord she had seen overlap with the one of the merciless owner of souls, that didn’t care if his minions lived or died, was hard. Was he really no better than a slave-master? This was hell, but that was a line she was not willing to cross.
The devil’s lawyer got a tail himself.
She didn’t have enough data to judge the situation, so she settled for a polite reply, as close to the truth as she was able to offer: she too, after all, had to give up exploring her potential because of others
《I can imagine. 》
《You can’t. 》 growled Hyena, but then his scowl turned into a smile, as he laid back in his chair《but you will soon, when you end up joining us for good. The boss doesn’t hire, he conquers. 》
Let him try. She was not defenceless, and would rather go down fighting than surrendering
《I’m afraid that isn’t in my plans. 》
《And what makes you think that your plans count anything down here? 》
《Hyena, stop 》chided Lauren
《She ain’t worth a warning, mate. 》 added Brutus《Let her see for herself 》
The man threw her another glare, and then went back to his sulking.
As long as he was quiet, she didn’t really care of what he thought of her.
She was used to not be liked, even in her own house.
《So. I’ll try to find out the exact numbers and circumstances when this meeting is over, but we still have three hours to spare, we need to put them to good use. 》
《If she decides to snoop around, it’s on her. We don’t want to be involved 》cleared Lukas, as Mikael nodded
《Let’s do this: we can try and recall everything we did each year, it will take a while, and then Carmen can go and ask the boss if he has more records. Speaking only for herself. 》Marcus came in her aide.
She appreciated it, but realised that none of them seemed able to spell her name.
《I will ask on my own, don’t worry. 》
《Perfect. Now, Lauren, you were with me since the first time, do you remember if we ever...》
Carmilla sat better in her chair, taking notes and trying to adjust her hair so it would shield her better from the cold that seemed determined to cling to her bones.
Yes, it was going to be quite the long night, but at least now things seemed ready to go somewhere useful.
They usually covered each one sixth of the district, with little communication. They dressed in their best battle attire, weapons in plain sight, and went up and down buildings ensuring that no one was visible from the outside, and trying to show face as to ensure that the other sinners knew that something was being done for their protection.
Zestial had explained to her that, as per agreement, angels were forbidden from entering private houses or other building, such as libraries, schools and anything that represented knowledge. Places of sin, like brothels or clubs, were free domain.
Still, the exorcists were known for playing dirty, throwing their spears through windows and cracks as often as possible. They avoided densely hell-born habitated areas, but it didn’t much to prevent the massacre: sinners were above most natives of hell, and preferred not to mingle with them. The goetian, a sort of nobility, lived safely in their own palaces.
Carmilla had known that there was a catch as soon as lord Zestial had told her that houses were off limits: it would have been too simple. She had been right.
Houses were a safe zone, but hell didn’t have enough of them for all its inhabitants, and homelessness was a plague. Even if one could find shelter, what heaven recognised as “private buildings” was extremely strict.
Nothing with wheels (no cars, no caravans, no containers)
Nothing without foundations (no tents, no itinerant quarters)
Nothing that was falling apart or missed a wall or a roof (no run-down or damaged buildings, no abandoned houses)
No places that had been built without a proper permit – even if, apparently, that same princess Charlotte that had signed the omnipresent flyers had the habit of going around and approving as many of those building as possible a week before extermination, and sending demolition orders the week after. The latter were mostly ignored, but it helped keeping some more people safe.
Carmilla wasn’t sure she would ever see that princess in person, but she felt a connection to her nonetheless: they both had the ungrateful job of trying to keep others safe. She had felt curiosity bloom in her as lord Zestial had explained her the basics of the hellish Royal family... she wasn’t so naive to think that this Charlotte Morningstar would be anything like a Disney princess, or even an human one, the devil’s kin surely wouldn’t go around singing and throwing confetti, she would probably be quite the nightmare inducing creature... but there had to be at least some kindness in her heart, for the princess to dirty her own hands in an attempt to save her subjects. Carmilla respected that. It made her feel less alone, like someone was somehow watching her back.
Even so, it didn’t make her job less arduous.
She listened carefully to her colleagues retelling of the past ten exterminations: Lucas and Mikael took every chance to try and shine, exaggerating their talents, and making every story that involved them last twice as necessary. Carmilla let them do their thing: it was painfully obvious that both men had survived purely by chance, and this was their way of coping. They weren’t teens, but they were young, still upset about their lack of prospects.
Lauren, while much quieter, was the only outright polite one, and Carmilla appreciated his refined language. It made her almost laugh, in that mess of cursing and growling.
Of six men, four didn’t take her seriously, two looked like the only thing keeping them from attacking her were Zestial’s orders, one didn’t trust her, two were ogling her like teens... it was nice, for a least one to be a bit more welcoming.
Marcus was concise and precise, but also the one with more information to give, once figured out what she needed to know.
Brutus and Hyenas, that preferred go through the exterminations with the help of some alcohol-induced bravery, didn’t have much to add to the conversation, if not for a good measure of tension.
Even so, after a while everyone run out of details to add, or even banter.
Zestial had dropped them all there at eleven. He would be back by four. It was barely three in the morning.
《Are you sure that’s all we know? 》
《You made us recall the names of twenty other people and a decade worth of near death experiences. That’s all. 》commented Brutus, tired
《Well, we still have time to spare 》she explained, rearranging her papers
《And, we will spend it sleeping 》 Carmila looked at the others as they made themselves more comfortable, arched brown an mouth in a thin line
《Don’t worry Carmela. Our lord lets us rest after we finished our meetings. He won’t get upset, as long as we have proof we did our job first. 》reassured Lauren, reconquering the pillow he had used to soften his landing during the summoning.
She sighed
《Alright, then. I’ll... put all our notes together in the meantime. 》
《Whatever rocks your boat. 》
《Just be quiet. 》
They passed out almost instantly, and Carmilla was left alone in the now much darker room.
She was tired as well.
When Zestial came back, he didn’t get upset to find the crew asleep, just as they had promised. His mere presence, though, was all it required to make them all jump up, as if for a nightmare, and greet him.
He scanned each man before, apparently satisfied, giving them a cold thanks and letting them return to their own homes... Carmilla was a bit disappointed of being unable to witness the landing of an un-summoning, weirdly enough. She hoped it was gentler than the way in.
As soon as they were alone, Zestial went to hover next to her, studying her face and notes with a much kinder look. She was slightly trembling from the cold, now that she had been still for a whole hour, but he was polite enough not to address it.
《So, how did it go? 》he asked, lending her an hand as to help her to her feet.
Carmilla, concerned that he would just teleport them away without warning, stood on her own.
《Everything went smooth. Nice people, very cooperative 》she assured, used to make the truth sweeter. Even so, she couldn’t refrain from giving him a bit of a side eye《Still, we need to have a little chat》
《We need to have a little chat 》Her tone, deeply displeased, sent a shiver down his spine. Against all logic and his better judgement, he found it extremely attractive.
Carmilla looked tired, her hair a bit tangled, and she was obviously cold. Why she hadn’t brought a jacket, he couldn’t figure. Still, her eyes shone with determination, and her posture was fierce.
The way her lips moved – slowly, pushing one against the other to form a thin line in a show of disappointment or meditation – hypnotised him. The words rolled from her tongue coated in nectar, and he found himself drinking from them like a men of the dunes would from a rare oasis.
His traitorous mind tried imagining how it would feel, swallowing them directly from the stream.
Fortunately, he had enough self-awareness and control not to let it show, and focus on her actual concerns. She wasn’t the first beautiful woman he had ever been around, for hell’s sake, why did he feel so... so different, around her?
《Thou seem displeased. Have my operatives given thee any troubles? 》
《No. They’ve been extremely cooperative. 》 she repeated, and he didn’t buy it for a moment. Still, if avoiding them his wrath was her strategy, he wouldn’t mess with it, at least for now. She went on《Did you realise that none of them has ever received any records or feedback about the outcome of the yearly contingency plan? 》
Ah, that.
《I’m... aware. 》
《And how did you expect for them to improve their strategy without knowing what went wrong? 》
She looked at him, as unable to imagine him commit such an oversight. He was, in fact, much less unaware of his actions than this, and decided to tell her at least a partial truth. It was a privilege rarely bestowed.
《I didn’t. 》 he explained, without sugar-coating it《I never trusted them to come up with a sound plan. That’s why I hired thee. 》
She didn’t look much more pleased, or even flattered, but refrained herself from speaking her mind.
He wasn’t particularly happy about it. If there was a thing he was learning about Carmilla Carmine was that, if she didn’t share her opinion, it was only to conceal how outright negative it was. He didn’t want her to think ill of him... it would be bad for the partnership he hoped to build.
《Well, I’ll need the records if you want better results. If you didn’t keep track of the losses, we will have to go by memory. 》
《Doth not worry, I have extremely detailed records about every extermination, starting from the first one. I have been around quite a long time. 》He assured, peaking up at the chance of showing off his power again. She was not impressed, if she had caught his veiled boast at all
《That’s good. And, lord Zestial? 》A firm nod. Her stare against his.
《Yes, miss Carmine? 》
《I’m not someone with whom one should play cat and mouse with. So, don’t try it. 》
Part of him wanted to chuckle, because she was like a kitten threatening a lion. Part of him, had the feeling that that particular kitten’s patience was better off not tested.
He gave her a reply worth of a gentleman
《Wouldn’t dream of it. Beautiful minds art to be challenged, and not deceived. 》
She seemed satisfied enough, if a bit sceptical, and sat back again to show him what she had managed to put together.
Her handwriting was quite beautiful.
There were so many districts. And lord Zestial’s was the largest. Trying to identify a pattern in the last fifteen years of exterminations had been a complex endeavour, that would have required a fresh, well rested eye.
Carmilla was not well rested in the slightest, but would have to make do with what she had. Luckily, her mind had always been sharp, able to focus through fatigue and adversities, and didn’t betray her in her hour of need.
And she had to admit, the tea that Zestial brewed was quite the kick. Energising for sure.
She had proposed to stay in the same underground room where the meeting had taken place to examine whatever papers he had, but he didn’t like the idea: the ceiling was too short for him, and he would have to keep going to and from his house to bring her whatever she needed, so she had agreed to be teleported to his place. It still felt weird, even if this time he waited for her to get a more secure footing, before letting her go.
He had materialised them in a study, dark but well kept, and invited her to get comfortable as he gathered what was needed. She had been a bit surprised when he had returned not only with the long-awaited documents, but also with a teapot and biscuits
《It’s going to be quite the long endeavour. A sugary treat might help. 》
She hadn’t eaten much since arriving. She was entering her fifth day in the world of the undead, and the only somewhat proper meal she had had was a cup of noodles... but could she trust whatever he offered? Her new form seemed faring decently enough with little food, after all, why risk it?
She thanked him anyway, before focusing on the hand-written numbers. She deemed better just not partaking in the snack that outright refusing to eat, but he seemed to read through the lines of her actions
《It’s not poisoned. Well, not more than any other herbal based concoction. 》
《What? 》she raised her head abruptly, glaring at him
《Herbs are almost always toxic. The point is: for who? 》
《Is this a threat? 》
He laughed, again in that warm way that suited his whole demeanour so little, and Carmilla was shocked to realise she found it soothing. She needed more rest.
《Nay. I promised to teach thee, didn’t I? 》
《Must our first lesson be at almost five in the morning? 》
《Thou hast a point, miss Carmine. Mine apologies, for someone like me, that doesn’t require much sleep, time can be quite irrelevant. 》
《Wait, you don’t sleep? HOW? 》
Maybe she needed to stop throwing angry glares at her boss. Or maybe he needed to be a bit less annoying. “The latter, definitely the latter”, suggested her tired brain.
No. No antagonising the really powerful demon that could kill her in cold blood before dawn, please.
《Oh, I doth sleep. I simply require much less rest than others, so I indulge only once or twice a week, and for few hours. I’m quite powerful, as thou may see. 》
Presumptuous devil.
《The last time I unlocked those powers, I was eighteen, with a supermarket aisle worth of coffee in my veins and it was finals week. Crashed for three days afterwards. 》 she sighted, rubbing her temples《sometimes, I miss the stamina. 》
He grinned, pouring her a cup
《I’m not a coffee connoisseur. Yet, I assure thee, this particular tea contains quite the quantity of caffeine. 》
“Ah, fuck it” she thought, before accepting the cup and drowning it “If he decides to drug me and not have the job done, that’s on him”
They had kept going until nine or ten in the morning, the perpetually red sky making night and day indistinguishable, but then fatigue had gotten the best of her.
She woke up long past lunchtime in a scarcely furnished yet clean bedroom, her shoes set near the door and a note on the nightstand next to her
“Thou needed proper rest, so I took the liberty of accommodating thee for the remaining of thine sleep. Feel at ease using the restroom as thou see fit, running water is present so thou might shower, if so desired. There are some tea and biscuits on the desk, the teapot is enchanted and shall keep it warm. On the armchair, there’s a jacket for thee. Consider it part of thine equipment, it’s far too cold to doth without at night. When thou’re ready, please reach me downstairs, so we may discuss the remaining of the day."
She scanned the room. Someone had let her sleep in, left her breakfast and a present?
Carmilla bitterly though that, alive or dead, it was the closest thing to a nice awakening she had gotten in years.
Carmilla wasn’t going to rest by her own volition. Zestial had figured this by the second hour of uninterrupted scheming. Obviously, he hadn’t left her alone to deal with everything, quite enjoying seeing her mind at work and honestly wanting to see how well she could do if she received all the aide necessary... he had been surprised.
He had high expectations, and she had managed to surpass them greatly. Her talent for individuating patterns was... enchanting. Her brain, her thoughts, her abilities... he wanted them for himself, but not like everything else he had taken.
He wanted them to be freely given to him, for Carmilla to willingly add her talents to his... he felt that, to receive such a gift, he would gladly give her the same in return.
It was a disconcerting thought, and he tried to evade it, focusing on the matter at hand.
Carmilla had realised that most of his lost men had been cornered while alone, usually near the ground, or in secondary alleys. Angels didn’t lose time with roofs
They went for the most well-equipped sinners. Angels wanted demons to feel powerless
They seemed to avoid those who could be more easily confused for hell-born. Carmilla, too new to hell to know all the species, had noticed that there was a systematic avoidance for those with horns, wings or other clearly inhuman traits, especially if accompanied by fur or reddish skin. Zestial, that had realised the same thing a few years prior, shared with her his own theory: not all angels could feel a demonic aura. Many of them pretended, to induce more fear, but actually went by clues.
It made sense: angels rarely attacked on their own, even if they were far more powerful than common sinners, and went for those less likely to be hell-borns.
Carmilla, though, noticed something he hadn’t: the exterminators often attacked in the sex districts where, according to his maps, sinners mingled with succubi. What where those? Where they so different from humans that it would be impossible to try and disguise as one of them? After all, if angels went with the philosophy of “better safe because we can’t be sorry”, they would surely spare when in doubt, wouldn’t they?
Zestial had, in all his documents, a copy of the formal agreement. If angels killed any hell-born directly, hell had the right to rebel. And that was something the upper ups didn’t want.
It was a simple idea, really, but so smart. Something that neither him, so different from hell-borns, nor his men, unused to disguises, had thought about. He couldn’t know it then, but he would find out with time that Carmilla’s ability to put herself in other people’s shoes and approach things from an unusual angle, were some of her biggest strengths.
Something she didn’t seem good at, though, was knowing when to stop and rest. It wasn’t overconfidence... more a desperate need to get everything handled in time.
He had asked her if she wanted to lay down for a bit, but she had insisted she was fine... so he had played a little trick.
He had no intention whatsoever of roofing her drink, he didn’t have the habit of drugging his allies, but switching her tea with an infuse of Matricaria chamomilla, Melissa and Valeriana officinalis wasn’t such an overstep. And it was for her own good.
He wasn’t concerned. Simply, having such a bright mind working itself into the ground wouldn’t do.
Carmilla had fallen asleep at his desk, cup still half full, her beautiful hair cascading around her. She looked so pacific, and so vulnerable... he had lifted her hesitantly, as not to wake her, and brought her in a spare room. It was simple, but he hadn’t been expecting for her to stay over, and so it would have to do for the time being.
He used his shadows to push the covers aside, and laid Carmilla on the mattress. Should he remove her shoes? She would be more comfortable, but it might be an overstep... she stirred, pulling her legs near her stomach, and he made up his mind: if she got upset once awake, he would apologise, but he couldn’t risk for her to get uncomfortable and accidentally waking up. She needed to rest.
He undid the laces slowly, pulling each shoe away with extreme care, before rising from his kneeling position and tucking her in.
He looked at Carmilla again, now able to stare without unnerving her, and thought at how hard she had worked even when exhausted, at how little she had eaten, at how cold she had looked before the tea... he looked at her, and felt a desire of never having to see her in discomfort again. The last time he had felt anything similar, he had been flesh and bones in the land of the living.
Still, in a room empty if not for a sleeping lady, there was no denying it if not to himself: he wanted to see her succeed, and he wished her close. And he knew he would do questionable things, to get what he wanted.
Notes:
Zestial: I'm suave, I'm powerful, I'm a gentleman, I'm in love ad I'm not aware of it
Carmilla: this presumptuous fucker is messing with me. And I'm too tired for it.
Chapter 8: 7– Of deceiving friends, growing obsessions and waiting dawn
Summary:
Seventeen days to the extermination. Everything is frenetic, and in all the planning Carmilla doesn't get much time to reflect about her own feelings.
Between lies that start to pile, teammates that are at the same time attracted and repulsed by her, and an Overlord whose heart has started to go wild, let's just hope that the consequences won't be too much to handle...
But for now, extermination has arrived.
Notes:
So...
My tablet broke, this chapter got accidentally deleted not once but TWICE, I went to the city where I attend university for a really close friend's graduation, but I had a collapse (no worries, she didn't find out) and they called me an ambulance at the station (no worries: I managed to evade it). My train was late and I got home at midnight.My tablet got fixed.
Then I plastered two rooms, fainted again, painted a bathroom, fixed a cabinet, fainted again (No worries: I saw a doctor and he sent me to another one that I'll see tomorrow)... part of my family is in the hospital and I'm trying to manage everything. Sorry for the delay.
But, this is around 9300 words, so... forgive me (again)? I'm trying my best.
Regarding the chapter itself: after having to start again for the third time, I just wanted to GET THIS OVER WITH! Like... I still worked on it until I wasn't happy, but I'm not sure if the pacing is a bit off, or if I managed to make it interesting. Feedback is welcome!
Anyway. Next chapter is the extermination, then we will get plenty of Zestial and Carmilla... bonding. Please be patient, this is a slow burn (like... burning stone with warm water kind of slow) but we're getting into it! I love you all!
P.s.
If you're a friend of mine reading about the ambulance accident, please don't tell anybody else, thank you! 💜
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
- 7– Of deceiving friends, growing obsessions, and waiting dawn
I got a secret in my pocket,
And share it I may not
The price would be too high,
One I cannot quite afford.
Yet I’m a bit scared,
Of the coming of daylight:
What if it reveals plain and bare
What I want you not to find?
-17
Waking up at Zestial’s house had been a bit weird, even if only because it was the first time since she had died that she had actually gotten out of bed. A proper one.
Zestial didn’t seem, from his note, in any hurry of getting her out of his house, but she still felt a bit uneasy so, after a quick wash, she had headed downstairs.
The Overlord was sitting at a long table, enjoying a book. The room was mostly bare, with the table and chairs as the main furniture, but to be fair the whole Manor seemed to share the same vibe, with few paintings, dusty carpets and an overall gloomy atmosphere... the room she had woken up in was the only place where she had seen a splash of colour, mainly in the tea set and the towels that had been left in the bathroom, and she questioned if it had been another curtesy reserved to her as a temporary guest.
The thing that had gotten her the most, though, was the lack of bookshelves. She had never been rich – or well off enough to have big savings – but even she had managed to fill her house with them... looking at him read made her mourn the loss of her own collection again. She would have to rebuild it from scratches, but would she even find the same novels in hell?
No time to be sad about it now.
《For someone who seems to enjoy reading, you surely don’t have many books laying around, sir. 》
《Carmilla, awake so soon? 》 he asked, a bit startled by her voice. He had addressed her by name, and realising made him cough a bit, as if in embarrassment, but he recovered fast enough 《I hope thou rested well, miss Carmine. 》
《Very well, thank you. I apologise for having fallen asleep; it was quite unprofessional. 》
He shook his head in denial, and rose to pull a chair out for her
《Skimble-skamble. N’er before had someone put in this operation as many efforts as thyself. I must be the one to apologise, for not foreseeing that thou would need rest. Yet, take a seat, please, doth not stand. We got plenty to discuss. 》
《Indeed》she agreed, taking the seat he had offered.
Zestial sat back as well. His hands, that were resting on the table, tickled, and he did his best not to think about how he missed the warmth of her skin. He held them tightly, to resist the urge of caressing her cheeks... while she was sleeping, he hadn’t been able to take his thoughts away from her. And now here she was, so tauntingly near, the jacket he had gotten her laying in her lap... he needed to focus on something else.
The volume in front of him gave him the right opportunity.
《I doth have books, anyway. Thousands of them. I simply prefer keeping them in the library, or in mine laboratory, since many art quite precious. This one, for example, has been printed one century ago》Carmilla’s eyes focused on the cover, embellished by the illustration of a dragon, and he offered it to her to inspect. She touched it with a delicate reverence, and he felt a pang of... envy? He wondered how would it be, to find himself the object of such attention
《This makes more sense. Books are one of the best things ever created. 》
After the extermination, he would have to show her his collection. He was sure she would love it.
《What is thine favoured kind? I assume thou enjoy reading more than manuals. 》
《Well... I like pretty much anything I can put my hands on. If I had to pick two titles, I’d go for “Little Women” and “La muerte de Artemio Cruz” 》
《That’s quite the fast pick! May I suppose that there’s some sentimental attachment to those? 》
《They were the first books that I ever owned. For a while I was confined to my bed when I was younger, and I was bored. A lady gifted me some of her kids’ books, and I fell in love with them. Reading... was a breath of fresh air. I got hooked. 》
《Boredom is a woeful thing, to a bright mind. 》he commented. He wanted to ask if she had been seriously ill as a child, why had not been her parents the ones to provide her with something to read, if she had already managed to find a copy of those books again, and so on... but he didn’t have the words, or get the chance. He didn’t know how to show this kind of interest towards others without sounding as he was conducting an interrogation.
《Being bored can be worse than being in pain. But we should go back to business, sir, before we run out of time. 》 He agreed, and on they went.
《You’re back! Where have you been? No one has seen you since yesterday night. 》
The travel from Zestial’s house to her temporary one hadn’t been too taxing – he had teleported her back to where they had met, and insisted to order her a taxi – but it didn’t mean it had been relaxing, either. With dozens of papers in her bag and nothing else to focus on, her mind had drifted back to the human side of her new mission. Those men despised her, and the two who didn’t were neutral at best, and yet she was responsible for them, she had to be their protector... how would she make them cooperate? Would she be able to keep them safe? Would she succeed? And why couldn’t she stop thinking about Zestial’s voice? Both of them had politely ignored that he had been the one to take her to bed, but now she was starting to feel embarrassed, and a bit stupid: letting her guard down had been a grave misstep, and she couldn’t afford those! And it had been so unprofessional.... thinking about it made her head ache.
Once arrived, she didn’t receive the best welcome. Pica was on the couch reading a magazine, but she jumped up to scold her as soon as she stepped foot inside.
They had never said there was a curfew. Goodness, did she miss her old apartment.
Carmilla breathed in and out, trying to fight her growing irritation. Pica had been nothing but kind to her, and didn’t deserve to be snapped at just because she was a bit overwhelmed... she didn’t want to be ungrateful.
She took on a conciliatory tone
《Sorry. Were you worried? 》
《No, of course not. 》 the other huffed, squaring her up with badly hidden suspect《still, you alright? At night it’s cold as fuck. 》
《I’m fine, I was busy. 》
《Did Rif send you on a job? 》
《Yes. 》
It wasn’t exactly a lie. It was Rif that had introduced her to Zestial, after all, and she had been hired through K.N.I.F.E.
《And the jacket? 》
《I got paid. I needed something warmer for the night, the other day it was freezing. 》
Still not technically lying.
《It’s a cute jacket. Where did you get it? 》Pica insisted, something accusatory in her voice, and Carmilla sighed internally.
Oh, fuck it. She had enough things to sort out, if Pica insisted in snooping around, she would have to improvise. Carmilla had learned early on that acting dumber than she was could be quite advantageous, and even this time a bit of exasperated naivety would be the ace up her sleeve... she was sorry, but she barely knew this girl, and she couldn’t afford to trust her with this yet.
《Not sure. 》She shrugged, as if the questions didn’t particularly bother her 《A gal was selling stuff at the side of the street, this seemed good, she was in an hurry, I just got it. I can try to remember where I was, if you want... 》
At her words, Pica relaxed almost instantly, letting out a faint laugh. Crisis averted.
《Carmilla, Carmilla... how they haven’t eaten you alive yet, I don’t know. It was stolen stuff; they were trying to get rid of it with some profit. 》
《Oh. Should I give it back? 》she asked, putting on the most surprised facade she could muster
《Naa, you’re good. If someone questions how you afforded it say it was a present from a guy. Not that anyone will really care in two days. 》
《Okay, thanks. 》
Pica looked at the jacket again
《It’s a relief. That thing is pricey. 》
《Did you think I wouldn’t have enough money for rent? 》
《A bit. But mostly that you had gotten yourself into some mess. 》
《Just because I got a new jacket? 》
《Sometimes Overlords, especially smaller ones, lure in with presents. They act like they respect your skills, and want a cooperation, and then... SBAM》 the pink haired sinner emphasised, slamming her hand against the wall《They steal your soul, freedom and will to live. 》
Well. Her new acquaintance/ potential friend/ roommate surely didn’t like Overlords. Carmilla had already figured it out, but this was a good reminder on why she had to keep this particular jig a secret.
《I’ll... keep that in mind. 》 Pica nodded, turning to go grab a coke from the fridge 《Anyway, how much did you pay this? 》
《Fifty bucks? 》was it too much? To little? It was a nice jacket, that seemed a fair price for an illegal reseller on the corner of the street
《What a steal. This brand is usually expensive because the spells it uses are good, it probably has added stuff for warmth and resistance. Didn’t you notice? 》well, Carmilla had figured out from her brief trip to the mall that most of the clothes in hell were slightly enchanted to adjust to different body proportions, but she hadn’t paid too much attention to the jacket, since she hadn’t actually worn it yet.
《I was so tired, I didn’t really register it. I’m still getting used to this new body. 》
She sucked at lying, but half-truths were easier
《Fair enough. What now? You gonna rest? 》
《I’ll eat some noodles, then I need to go to the office. 》
《Working you thin, eh? Okay, don’t get killed. 》
Pica went back to her room, and Carmilla relaxed as well. She would pay her the rest of the rent as soon as possible, so maybe she would get a bit less angsty when a mission kept her away for a long while... or at least, so she hoped.
《So, how did it go? 》asked Rif, looking like he would have rather not known.
Carmilla, who stood in front of his desk, perceived it, and kept her answers vague. It was also part of her deal with Zestial, after all.
《Surprisingly well. Not much has been decided yet, but we’re working on it. 》
《And with... him? 》
《He’s fine. 》she assured.
Zestial – Lord Zestial – was mostly alright by Carmilla’s standards. He acted extremely gentlemanly, never touching her more than necessary or commenting on her body. As a boss, he was reasonable, had promised her a fair wage and, thing that made her appreciate him even more, actually reimbursed her for her commuting across the Ring.
Extreme doubts about his morals, motives and character aside, Carmilla had no problems working for him. Yes, he was infuriating in his carelessness towards his men, but she couldn’t dwell on it now, nor tell Rif she had pretty much scolded her hirer– she wouldn’t ever hear the end of it.
She changed the subject.
《Do you have any jobs for me, sir? 》
《Some guns need fixing, and April needs someone to go and pick a few supplies from the shop. 》
《Nothing else? 》
《You’re already putting in a lot of hours with your gig. He hired you through the company, and is paying a percentage to us as well, so I thought it fair to not overwork you. We needed a technician more than anything anyway, fix the guns and we’re okay. 》
《Fine by me. 》she agreed, making to leave, but Rif stopped her
《Out of curiosity, what hours did you do? 》
For someone that wished to be left in the dark, he asked a lot of questions. Carmilla tried to figure out if it was a legitimate curiosity, or if he felt obliged by his sense of responsibility as her primary boss. The second was more likely.
《The day after he came here we met at eleven in the evening and kept working until... nine or ten in the morning. 》
《I hope the commute back home wasn’t too long 》
《A bit, but it was fine, I had some time to think. 》
《After twelve hours on the clock? 》
《I went home in the afternoon, just the time of having some lunch and I came here. 》
He gave her a weird look, spoke, and then seemed to immediately regret it
《Where did you sleep? 》
《I fell asleep at the desk. 》there was no need for Rif to know the details, and he was clearly on the same page, since he didn’t question her further.
《Okay. 》
The silence was awkward, and Carmilla felt a bit off... something in Rif’s attitude towards her had shifted, but she didn’t know why. She was the same from yesterday, was he really so tense just because she had taken a job from an Overlord? It had been him the one who agreed to Zestial’s request first, why was he mad at her, now?
Maybe she was still tired and he was worried about the approaching extermination, she shouldn’t overthink things without proof... better go back to work.
《May I go now, sir? 》
《Yes, yes of course. You know where the tools are. 》
He seemed startled, as if he had already spaced out. Carmilla just nodded, and exited his office in silence.
《Carmilla, here again? 》greeted Janice, followed by Martha
《Damn, you already fixed everything. 》she said, noticing all the weapons sitting beside her 《If you keep this rhythm, we will have to start calling you “the Queen of Guns”! 》
《I just got plenty of practice 》
The other shook her head, amused. The fact that her colleagues at least seemed to still treat her normally was a relief.
《You’re far too modest for this ring. Are you coming on a job with us today? 》
《No, I’m on errands duty. About that– only April needs supplies, no one else? 》
《Get some gauze and canned food as well. One never knows. 》
《Okay, add them to the list. John? 》
《I think he is fine, but I’ll text him. 》 Martha stalled a bit, as if pondering if asking something would be a good or bad idea 《Have you started getting stuff for the extermination as well? Will you be with us or with Pica? 》
Carmilla froze internally, but she hoped it would just look like the question had caught her off guard
《I’m not sure yet. But, I still got seventeen days to figure it out 》aka, coming up with a sensible lie.
《I’m sure Rif will ask you soon... probably, he wants you to first work with us for at least a week. 》assured Janice with a smile
《Maybe 》agreed Carmilla, knowing very well that that was not the case; the lies were starting to pile, and she had a bad feeling about it.
-16
The room was really pretty, on the tones of white and cerulean. Geometric patterns were depicted on the wallpaper, and the wood pavement was neat and clean. In a corner, a medium sized desk was placed, with anatomy books and various illustration disposed on it with great precision, next to a few jars containing blood, eyeballs and various other organs. A round table, relatively short, completed the picture, accompanied by two armchairs.
Zestial sat comfortably in one of those, a cup of tea in hand, but he looked uncharacteristically distracted, detail that didn’t evade the other man present in the room.
DoKteur had been, as his name suggested, a doctor, back then when Queen Victoria was still in power. He was an old man that had managed to live well into his seventies, with a greyish goat-like beard and an heavy constitution, whose lack of ethics had landed him in hell. He was, all in all, a loyal dog that, lacking the abilities required for surviving alone or the bravery for even trying it, had found himself an owner that suited his taste as soon as possible and got settled in his new situation without a fuss. This was a characteristic greatly appreciated by Zestial that, used to rule by fairness and fear, had few souls at his disposals that could lend him an ear when he wished to ease his mind... and the goal of today's visit was no different.
He just couldn’t get Carmilla out of his head, the fact he wouldn’t see her until the next day was driving him insane, and he needed to talk the situation over with someone that, while bound to secrecy, would still offer him a new perspective... there were so many things that he wanted to understand about his still-so-mysterious lady, but he couldn’t make himself speak clearly, and he had just gone on and on for half an hour about inconsequential details, like her profession and fighting skills.
Telling someone else of her incredible mind, of the rhythm of her breath, of how perfect she looked in slumber... it seemed wrong, a break of trust, as if letting unworthy eyes pry in a lovers’ chamber. Zestial couldn’t bring himself to share that side of her, and he didn’t want to dwell on why.
《I simply doth not understand why she didn’t bring a jacket. I had warned her it would be cold. 》he said instead, because he had been concerned about how cold she had been under his touch when he had teleported them to his home, and because that was the only doubt that DoKteur would probably be able to help him with.
《I’m certain it shall be of no consequences, my lord. Sinners are quite resilient. 》the other assured, waiting for explicit consent to give suggestions. He had the freedom – and duty – of telling Zestial what others didn’t want to, but this didn’t mean he wouldn’t tiptoe around it as much as possible.
Carmilla had been the only one to show him her displeasure openly in decades.
《Yet, why? She’s not the kind to neglect such a thing, or to be senselessly stubborn. 》
《Maybe she didn’t own a jacket. 》DoKteur suggested, and Zestial thought about it for a moment
《Elaborate. 》
《You said she’s a fresh soul, my lord. She probably doesn’t dispose of a significant income yet... an hired gun can cost as little as 250$ per job, if she had been here for a few days she probably had earned very little, or hadn’t yet been paid at all. 》
That was... logical. A starting point. He had tried to leverage the fact that Carmilla’s situation wasn’t prosper to get her into their contract, after all... he just hadn’t stopped to think on how that would translate in more practical aspects of everyday life. After centuries of magic and power, he could admit of being a bit out of touch
《This makes the most sense. I appreciate thine insight, DoKteur. 》
《At your disposal, my lord. 》 the other replied, with a bow of his head《How will you act now, if I might ask? 》
《I sent her current boss part of the agreed payment yesterday, I’ll ask her if she has received her share as soon as I meet her again. I doth not mind getting her more equipment, even if not strictly related to this mission, but she won’t ask, and I doth not want her to go without. 》
It had already taken him hours to figure out how to make her accept the jacket, and he doubted Carmilla would accept anything not mission related from him without “earning it”. How could someone be so humble and prideful at the same time? He had to admit, her dignity was something that few souls possessed.
《You seem to hold this soul in great esteem. 》commented DoKteur, a slight envy in his voice. Zestial ignored it, too busy trying to make sense of the mess in his chest and mind.
His reply was full of pride, satisfaction dripping from every word
《Indeed. She’s truly a wonder. 》
《From you, my lord, it’s a great compliment indeed. 》
《Thou have no idea. I hold no doubt that soon all of hell shall know her name. 》
Zestiall grinned, all wicked green and poisonous fangs. This time, he didn’t even notice the distaste in the doctor’s eyes.
-15
He finally met her again, to give her the weapons he had promised. She looked pale and tired, and he asked if there was something he could do to make the preparations easier. It had nothing to do with him being worried.
She seemed to ponder it for a minute, but then she gave in
《Do you have a place for me to work on the rest of the presentation? The office is off limits during the day, I can’t let my roommate see it, and it would be useful not having to hide everything every time someone walks by. 》
《Thou art welcome to finish in mine study. May I? 》he asked, offering his hand to teleport. She took it somewhat hesitantly, but once arrived she didn’t need to grab on anything, so it was a progress, and he had the chance of enjoying her closeness just a bit longer.
《It gets less disorienting with every new travel. Is it tiring, to bring others with you? 》she asked then, as she started disposing all her papers on his desk.
《Not at all 》he assured, gaze fixed on her movements. The truth was, he was growing quite fond of carrying her around... but that was not something he could admit, for both of their sakes.
-14
《We could use a pair of extra hands on this job, why don’t you call Carmilla in, boss? 》
Janice, may the pentagram un-bless her, proposed.
《I already sent her on a job. 》Lied Rif. Well... kind of. Carmilla was doing something for lord Zestial, it was a mission he had sent her on, if one read between the lines
《What job? 》
《Engagement ring to retrieve. 》
《... didn’t she do that already? 》asked John.
《What can I tell you? Maybe grooms are easy to rob. 》
This charade was starting to get hard to maintain. But it was for the best, so he had to go through with it.
-13
Carmilla was so tired. She had been working almost nonstop for days, and she needed a couple of hours to herself.
《I’ll be out until tomorrow 》informed Pica, that seemed to live everywhere but in her apartment 《You can use all the hot water if you want. Hell knows you look like you could use a long, warm shower. And please, don’t deep clean everything again, if you get some free time fucking SLEEP. 》
She smiled gratefully, closing her eyes to rest them a bit. Who would have told, that in hell she would find a better roommate than in high school? Pica could be quite rough, but Carmilla was starting to learn, day after day, that it was just the way she cared about people.
It was... nice. She would get her her favourite noodles, as a thank you.
-12
《I’m gonna go grab a pizza. Wanna come? It’s on me. 》
《What’s the occasion? 》
《We might die soon, I want to be nice to someone. 》
《I already ate 》she lied. Her stomach and hellish foods didn’t seem to get along in the slightest, whenever she ate anything different from noodles or a tiny sandwich, she ended up throwing up 《but if it’s okay with you, I wouldn’t mind a coke. 》
《The drink, right? 》
《Of course I mean the drink! 》
《Hey. We’re in hell, I sell drugs, you better specify. 》
《You what?! 》asked Carmilla, concerned
Pica laughed, throwing her red shirt at her
《Wear something nice, we might run into someone cute! 》
Carmilla threw her a pillow in retaliation, but then hurried to get dressed. She was... eighty percent sure that Pica was kidding, but this was not really the time and place to try and make anyone “see the light”.
Just an evening without the thought of death looming over their heads would make them both some good.
-11
His tea tasted bitter. Centuries without knowing Carmilla, and now a day with no news was enough to put Zestial in a sour mood.
Like... she had been at his house a lot, but always working, and he longed for her company in a way that seemed almost absurd. Was it because he knew he would barely see her again before the extermination? Was it because the knowledge that she was overworking herself didn’t let him rest either ? He didn’t know, but fact was that Zestial was growing sullen, and it was a nuisance.
That’s why, when she had asked him to meet him one more time, he had been delighted. He had patted the little spider-messenger affectionately, and gone to get her at their usual spot. There would surely be business talk, but as long as she spent some time with him, he would try to enjoy the moment anyway.
《May I doth something for thee? Doth thou need anything else for the mission? 》he asked, gesturing for her to sit and grab a pastry, if so she liked (she didn’t).
《I apologise for the inconvenience, but I need one last thing before I explain the plan to the team. That book that you used to show me the different kind of hell-borns... could I have some photocopies? 》
《Most certainly! I shall get it for thee after our teatime. 》he assured, offering her a fragrant cup that she accepted, contrary to the food. Not a sweet tooth, apparently. Unimportant, he would have time to learn her tastes after the extermination...
Of course, they would have time... they would.
That particular book she wanted copies of wasn’t too rare or frail, so he would just give it to her. As long as it helped keeping her safe, he wouldn’t even mind not getting it back.
-10
Carmilla paused, looking at the men seated around the table, the presentation she had put so much effort in hanging behind her
《So, that’s the plan. All clear? Any suggestions to improve it? Any doubts? 》
《Yes. To scratch all this and just do what we do every year. 》complained Brutus, and she gritted her teeth to avoid exploding
《We already covered that improvising doesn’t work. 》
《And you have no proof this will either! 》he insisted
《But I used data to come up with it, and all my skills. If you could just trust— 》
《Trust? I don’t trust you for shit. No-one here does. 》 the others tried to shush him, but he stubbornly refused to yield《No, I can’t keep this inside any longer. You feel off! When you’re around tongues get loose, and you give me the fucking shivers! I don’t trust you, you whore of a witch, double faced spy! 》
His words stung. Why couldn’t things go smoothly, just for once? It was exhausting.
Deep breaths. In and out, in and out, no screaming, no escalating, staying in control. She could do it.
《I’m not a spy, nor a witch. 》 She replied, cold《I have no motives outside the ones I declared. Not trusting me is your choice, but my abilities are another matter. You should still try and follow the plan, since our lives are on the line, and we must cooperate to increase our chances not only at success, but of survival as well 》
《“Our” lives? Who do you think you’re fooling? We all know very well that, should things go astray, we will be the ones forced to stay out. 》
《I won’t leave any of you behind. 》anger was starting to bubble inside her, harder and harder to reign《I have never abandoned a teammate in my whole life, and I have no intentions of starting now. 》
There was a thick silence in the room. That anger... it was dangerous, and icy enough to freeze the blood in their veins. Carmilla didn’t seem to notice, but there was an edge on her, something wild, that made them retreat. That made them believe her words.
Lauren was the one to break the tension, probably sensing that she would snap if tested further. He spoke hesitantly, yet forcing a levity into his tone, as if it could be enough to lighten the mood
《Well, I quite like this plan. I think we could give it a try. 》
《I mean... Lauren is right. What do we have to lose? Time? Energy? We got plenty of them. 》commented Lukas, his voice faint, and Mikael nodded alongside him 《what do you say, Marcus? 》
He spoke carefully, not wanting to compromise himself too much, or break that eerie calmness, but his words were still in her favour
《The boss sent her to help, and on that much we all agree. We don’t know what he expects us to accomplish this extermination, but he went through the hassle of hiring someone. I say we follow her plan: if he isn’t happy, we still obeyed, and it’s not our fault. 》
《She’s not our boss! I didn’t sign up for this! 》Brutus protested, but now he sounded almost scared, as if Carmilla would steal the little of himself that he still owned.
Their reactions caught her off guard, and she forced herself to relax, letting her demeanour soften. They seemed to follow suit, even if slowly
《No. She’s the one who will have to deal with our boss, if shit hits the fan. 》reminded Marcus
《Okay, you win. 》 Conceded Brutus, but his eyes couldn’t meet hers《What are we supposed to do, now? 》
《First things first》Carmilla explained, extracting a thick book from her bag and positioning it on the table 《we need to pick proper disguises. 》
-9
《Art mine men behaving, miss Carmine? I can give them a reminder that thou art in charge, if required. 》asked lord Zestial.
The situation was a mess, but he wasn’t the right person to confide in... not when she didn’t know what he would do to them in retaliation. And she wouldn’t have the time anyway: she needed to show him another idea she had had, and then she would have to run back to K.N.I.F.E. to help John while April was on a mission.
《Everything is under control, sir. No need for you to get involved. 》she assured, starting to hand him a few sketches.
He seemed a bit disappointed by her being in such an hurry, but he would have to cope: she was far too busy to worry about entertaining him as well.
-8
《I can’t believe we’re stuck buying makeup, now. It’s ridiculous. 》complained Hyena for the sixth time, to the dread of everyone else
《It’s mostly body paint and fake appendages, I’m sure our masculinity will be able to survive it. 》replied Marcus, for the sixth time as well, as he was trying to figure out which one was the right shop
《Still, it’s her plan, why can’t she sort this shit out as well? She’s a girl, she knows how this stuff works. 》
《Probably Lauren uses more products than her. 》commented the other, still fighting with his map
《And I won’t apologise, your scalps are dry as a...》
《Save it. Why did I agree to come with you losers anyway? 》
《Because, you use car wash as shampoo, body lotion and toothpaste. Not the best starter pack. 》
《He has a point. 》
《Fuck you, you’re the one who told her that we could find fake tails quickly, it’s your fault we can’t just paint ourselves in weird shades and call it a day. Why do you keep uttering nonsense anytime she’s near? Can’t you keep your mouth shut? 》
《It’s not my fault! I just can’t avoid it! 》defended Lukas
《What is that supposed to mean? 》the other snarled. The younger sinner gulped.
《When she’s around, my tongue gets loose. It’s like having a tiny voice in my ear telling me that, if I’m honest, she’ll sort out my problems. 》
《Bullshit. 》
《That’s how I feel! 》
《You’ve gone too long without a good fuck, that’s what’s wrong with you. If you survive this, make yourself a favour and find a succubus to celebrate with. 》
《Or a fake one... I mean it respectfully, but I’m looking forward seeing Carmen as a succubus 》 commented Michael
《Succubae 》corrected Lauren.
《That, yes. 》
《Don’t get your hopes up, I’m pretty sure she’ll be busy celebrating with the boss. 》Mumbled Hyena 《What? We all thought that. 》
《You know he doesn’t do that kind of things with his souls. Says it’s coercion. 》reminded him Marcus
《Then, good for him that the pretty bitch doesn’t belong to him. Can have a roll in the hay. 》
《Hyena, cut it. Why do you dislike Carmilla so much, anyway? Say what you want, but she worked her ass off to come up with a decent plan. We had to put up with much worse, in all these years 》
《I didn’t ask for it, and I’m not gonna be grateful for something I didn’t want in the first place! 》
《I think the kid is right, though. There’s something off about her. 》said Brutus, almost whispering
《Oh please, not you too! 》Hyena turned towards the other, as if betrayed
Brutus shrugged with a grimace, as if even speaking about Carmilla was enough turn his body unpleasantly cold and dump
《And how do you explain what happened the other day? It was fucking terrifying, like having an angel’s blade against my neck. She’s unsettling, like a siren. Makes you feel like displeasing her will bring bad luck. 》
《Oh, please. Is blondie, here, the only one who ain’t drooling over her? 》lamented Hyena, with disgust
Marcus threw him a glare, while the younger ones turned red
《You’ve been trying to get her in bed for two weeks! 》Mikael shoot back in revenge, with Lukas’aide
《True – you’re not the one to talk, with all your showing off! 》
《I don’t show off – I assert dominance. And anyway, she ain’t my type, too frigid. 》
《She won the “dominance” race》 joked the redhead, elbowing his friend, that laughed.
Hyena punched him, and a somewhat decent conversation went lost in a brawl.
(Lauren managed to acquire make up for everyone, though, so that was something.)
-7
《I’m telling you again: trash my apartment and there’ll be hell to pay. Don’t let anyone hide here. Don’t have sex in my bed. Stay out of my medicine cabinet. Am I clear? 》
Pica warned for the tenth time, as she finished grabbing a few more things to store in her backpack
《Yes, Pica, don’t worry. 》repeated Carmilla once again.
《Have you come up with a plan on what to do during the extermination? 》
《I’ll stay with Rif and the girls, they invited me to join their “office safe room”. 》
It was a bold-faced lie. To placate her conscience, she repeated herself that it had been Rif's idea to tell Pica that Carmilla would spend the day with the team
The longer she lived with Pica, the worse she felt about lying. She had tried to convince Rif to just be honest, but he didn’t want to hear reason.
《And what if she finds out? 》she protested 《if we tell everyone, at least we can do so on our own terms, and they will be less upset. 》
《She won’t. Pica hates talking about the extermination. 》
《And the girls and Jack? 》
《I’ll come up with something, don’t worry. 》
《... and if I just came clean? It seems easier, I’m not a good liar, and in the long run... 》
《What “long run”? You should worry about surviving the 7th! 》He snapped, and she tensed. He sighed, regretting his outburst, before continuing more calmly 《listen, it’s nothing personal, but I need to watch out for my team, and I don’t want them to get involved. If you tell Pica, she’ll show up here to rip me a new one, and everyone will find out! I’m sorry I couldn’t think of a way to refuse his offer, but now we’re in this together. It’s our secret, you can’t just choose to spit it out. Okay? You need to promise》
Our secret. The words sounded bitter in her ears. It was her life on the line, her skills being used, her time being invested. Why did he have the right to decide what she did or didn’t have to bring in the grave with her?
She was tired, so very tired. Why did she always have to be silent for someone else’s peace of mind?
“It didn’t happen. You hear me? It didn’t happen, you dreamt, you read too many books, your imagination is too wild. You hear me? It didn’t happen. You are lying. STOP FUCKING CRYING FOR GOODNESS’SAKE, SHUT UP!”
《Carmilla? Please, I need you to promise you won’t tell her, at least for now. 》
Don’t tell anybody.
She shook her head and nodded, trying to send that forsaken memory away, back in the corner of her brain that she never visited
《I promise, sir. I won’t tell. 》
《You listening? 》asked Pica, waving an hand in front of her face, and Carmilla forced a smile
《Sorry, I spaced out a bit. 》
《I noticed. I was saying, it’s good that you’ll spend the day with them, exterminations can get quite nasty, and a newbie like you would be lost. And this place ain’t safe either, not if you’re alone. 》
And to think that the truth was that she would be out there, trying to evade the angels
《I still don’t understand why do you want to spend such a day in another district. 》
《And, it’s not your business. 》replied Pica. She had been quite... snappy, about her plans, and Carmilla raised her hands in platitude
《Just be careful. 》
The other softened a bit
《You as well. Save the fact you’re a teetotaller, you aren’t the worst roommate I ever had, you know? 》
《And save from the quantity of hair I keep finding everywhere, you aren’t bad yourself》
Pica laughed, grabbing her small backpack and heading to the door
《Good to know. See you after this whole mess, bitch! Stay alive! 》
Carmilla watched her leave and she felt... empty, and a bit sad inside. She and Pica weren’t exactly friends, not in the conventional sense... but they liked each other, in their own way. Carmilla hoped she wouldn’t lose her as well.
-6
《No. 》was the horrified reply.
《Yes. 》she had slept five hours in four days, she was ready to fistfight god, angels didn’t scare her.
《The boss approved of this? 》asked Lukas, looking at her project as if it would bite him
《He did. 》
《You’re a fucking menace 》commented Marcus, but there was a begrudging respect in his voice. And a bit of concern, but she ignored it.
《I’m aware. 》 she grinned《Now, let’s go, we have some traps to set! 》
-5
The tension had dissipated bit by bit when they started training outside. Brutus avoided her like the plague, and Hyena mostly ignored her, but she has started to learn more about the others.
Like, it was better to randomly yell at the younger ones when they were out of her sight, just to make sure they weren’t slacking off too much
《Mikael, I swear, if you’re smoking weed instead of testing the rope I’ll come there, and it won’t be nice!》
There was some noise of stepping of feet and hushed “hide it!” “I’m trying” “she’ll see the smoke”, then a yell
《I’M CLIMBING, DON’T WORRY! 》
Ah, her old “teacher voice”. It always got the job done.
-4
Her costume was done. The guys’ costumes were done. Maybe, they could just survive this.
Lord Zestial wanted to see her again. She wasn’t sure she could manage that as well.
-3
《She relies a bit too much on luck. It’s not something I can appreciate, my lord. 》
DoKteur was trying – and failing – to mask how impressed he was with Carmilla’s plan.
Zestial was trying – and failing – to mask how much he was regretting setting her up for something as perilous as going out during a massacre.
《Confiding in luck is aiming blindly and hoping to hit something. Having faith is knowing thou has made all in thine power, and confiding that thine efforts shall bear results. There’s a difference, DoKteur. 》
《I just don’t wish for you to suffer should she die. 》
Zestial, in normal circumstances, would have laughed of such ideas. Suffering over a loss? Him? For a lady that he barely knew, and whose abilities he was, in fact, testing? What an absurdity.
Yet, this time he couldn’t bring himself to openly refute the other. It would have felt like a betrayal.
- 2
《Carmilla 》
At Marcus’ call, she raised her head from the mechanism she was working on. He was standing in front of her, Lauren by his side, Lukas and Mikael slightly behind.
《Yes? 》
《We have this sort of... tradition, so to say. The night before the extermination we go out to have some fun, and then we wait dawn together. 》
《It's a great way of keeping up the spirit 》explained the blond.
She still looked at them questioningly, so they went on
《We think it would be... fair, for you to join. If you want. We convinced Hyena and Brutus as well. 》
《We were thinking about meeting sooner this time. Get in our disguises and then spend the night in a club. 》
《It could also help us disguising our aura better... you know, smell and stuff. 》
《So... you in? 》
Getting some company and at the same time the chance of making sure they wouldn’t get too drunk? Not to talk about how this was the first outright friendly gesture she had received from them.
Carmilla smiled brightly, her expression so sincere and unprecedented that the whole room seemed to get warmer around it.
《Of course, count me in! 》
-1
《Hey boss, where’s Carmilla? I haven’t seen her in a week, and it’s getting late, we should lock up soon. 》 asked John.
This was the moment Rif had not looked forward to, especially since no matter how hard he thought about it, he couldn’t come up with a perfect lie for his team. At this point, all he could count on was blind luck and gaslighting.
《She’s with Pica, they left a week ago. 》
《Neither of them told us. 》commented Janice, unconvinced.
《You know how Pica is, she doesn’t like to share her business. 》
No one seemed to buy it completely
《I know, that’s why it’s weird. She’s been disappearing for two weeks around extermination day each year... and now she brings along Carmilla, that she has known yes or not for two weeks? 》
《And Carmilla just went instead of staying here, with us? You invited her to join us, right? 》added April
《Of course I did. 》 It was an absolute lie: why inviting her when he knew very well that she would have to be somewhere else anyway? Yet, what they didn’t know, couldn’t hurt them《Stuff about having things to do together, you know how it is. They clicked quite quickly, after all. 》
《Like... a couple? 》John asked again, and Rif seized his chance of changing topic
《Maybe. 》
《Rif, those two have the same romantic chemistry of spaghetti and ananas! You can have them on the same table, but not in the same plate! 》protested the other
《Pineapple? 》he asked, ignoring the rest
《Not now. 》 she interrupted, irritated《And, I’m pretty sure Carmilla is straight. Martha? 》
《My gay radar didn’t get triggered. But if I’m wrong, damn, Pica won big time! 》
Janice gesticulated as to say “see? Told you so!”
《I don’t buy it. 》
He had absolutely no idea of what Carmilla liked and no sentor at all of a romantic relationship blossoming between her an their favourite pink haired mess, but now here he was and he had to go through with it.
He jokingly scolded the young woman, to hide his nervousness
《Hey, she just arrived, maybe she’s getting used to her new sexual freedom. Let’s leave the poor girl alone, I wasn’t even supposed to tell you that she was with Pica! 》
《Okay, okay, we will keep the secret. 》Reassured April
《Still, it’s weird》
《But if someone sees them make out I want a video, it must be so damn HOT 》commented Martha, lost in the fantasy.
Janice slapped her quite hard on the back of the head, and the other hit the floor laughing.
Rif let go a sigh of relief: ten hours to the extermination, and then twelve hours to spend in silence. He could manage.
In hell he had no one to grant him forgiveness, but his mind still went to that poor soul that he had been unable to protect.
Five hours to the extermination.
The night was still young, and when it faded into dawn, blood would be shed... but now the midnight had just struck, and they still had a few hours of carefree fun before them.
Carmilla sighed, looking down at her pinkish hands. They all had their disguises on, and she had quickly figured out the downside of being perceived as a succubae in a club full of drunk people. She slithered into the shadows, in an attempt to reach the balcony and some peace.
The sky was crystallised in red, and it hurt the eyes
《On the run from your admirers? 》
《Marcus》his voice had startled her a bit, but she did her best to hide it《what are you doing here? 》
《Escaping that pandemonium, just like you. I knew we shouldn’t have let those two pick the club, they don’t make a brain-cells in two heads. 》
《It’s not that bad 》
《Liar 》he teased 《but you’re a kind one, so you’re forgiven. 》
They stayed in companionable silence for a while, Marcus taking a drag from his cigarette from time to time... the smell was sweet, but it still made her stomach turn, and she tried to think about something else to make the peace last... had she been at home, now she would be looking at the stars. Did they have stars in heaven? If yes, why did they have to inflict pain on those who had lost even that last hope?
《What are you thinking about? 》
《Just the sky. I miss how it looks from earth. 》
《After a while, you won’t even remember it. The longing will get duller. 》 he said, and she couldn’t understand if it was intended as mockery or comfort《how do you feel about tomorrow? 》
《Hopeful. We did our best, it must amount to something. 》
He stared at her intensely.
《You don’t really think that he makes us put on this whole charade because he really thinks it will make a difference, right? 》
What did he mean? Zestial – lord Zestial – was a questionable man, but he had done all she had asked to boost their chances at success... it wasn’t the attitude of someone who believed his attempts to be useless; if things went wrong, it would be her fault, not his.
Marcus seemed to sense her confusion, and elaborated a bit more
《It’s only another strategy to keep his souls under control. Give them the illusion that something is being done for their protection, so they won’t think about rebelling 》he started, leaning against the rail, his curls moving slightly in the breeze. It was so cold – how could the night be so cold, under the same canopy that made the day a boiling pit? – and Carmilla tightened her grip on her jacket, but never stopped looking at the other 《Overlords own souls, all of them. But there are different kinds of ownerships... the most common, since it requires less magical abilities, is a contract by establishment – like a ius soli, as Lauren puts it – where an Overlord can demand things like tributes, loyalty and services from other demons by simply maintaining control over a territory. Space in hell is scarce, sometimes living in a district instead of another is a necessity more than a choice. Those sinners are not prisoners, they can leave at their discretion, if they can find somewhere else to go. Lord Zestial's territory won’t get empty any time soon: he works alone, they can do whatever they want as long as they pay... it works for both parts just fine. As far as souls’ ownerships go, those are the lucky ones. Then, there are the ones that get conquered against their will. The boss... he’s one of the few sinners who has been capable of mastering such magic without losing his own souls to a bigger fish. They get completely absorbed by the winner, not dead and not alive, without a will or a conscience... those souls are not better off than the ones drifting in the Ether. 》
She had been silent during his explanation. The images, vague as they were, made her shiver.
《It sounds terrifying 》
《Must be, I hope to never find out. That’s not the grave I picked for myself. 》He turned back to the parking lot, as if he didn’t have the boldness of saying more to her face.《Then, there are contracts like ours: chains, that bind us to our owner; they can be longer or shorter, the collar tighter or looser, depending on what you agreed upon, but the result is pretty much always the same – you must obey, do what you’re told, with little chance of freeing yourself, or resisting punishment... don’t you see? Me, Lauren, the boys, even Hyena... we’re all on a leash. And we are somewhat lucky, since our lord delights in screams but he doesn’t torture the souls he owns unless he feels like they wronged him. 》a pause. Carmilla counted the cars under them to steel her own nerves《I think that’s why you’re hard to like: you’re fierce, free, able to speak your mind... you are everything we long for. 》
《Why are you telling me all this? Aren’t you scared I’m a spy or something? 》
He shrugged, throwing away the cigarette that had by then wasted away
《Would be logical to do so, but I don’t feel like it. The others are right to say that there’s something weird about you, you give off different vibes. It’s a bit unsettling at the start, but by now I grew used to it. 》
Seven cars, seven cars, seven cars. Red and black and one green. She spied him from the corner of her eye.
《If it helps, you’re not the first one to tell me this, but I swear I'm not doing anything. 》
《Maybe it has to do with your new form? Some sinners gain special abilities, once arrived in the underworld. 》
《I have no idea. Sure thing is, I have no control over it. 》
《It could be nothing, maybe it’s just the charm of the freshly deceased.》 He offered, before growing mischievous again《 The boss seems quite taken with you, though. You sure there’s no love potion involved?》
Carmilla huffed, shaking her head 《He’s not taken with me. Part of our deal was that he would teach me a few things that would help me survive hell, nothing more... 》
《He’s teaching you? It’s worse than I thought. 》 he half joked, but then grew completely serious 《Lord Zestial isn’t the kind of man to share his secrets for free, you should be careful. 》
《There’s no secrets-sharing, and we set boundaries. Everything is under control. 》
《Carmilla... You’re a bright mind, by now I learned that much. But, you’re also so... naive, at times. 》 he turned towards her again, ignoring her scowl 《There’s no “setting boundaries”, and no winning, with an Overlord. He will eat you alive, trust me, I know him. 》
《You’re badmouthing your boss a lot, for someone on a leash. How do I know you’re not the one testing me? 》
《You worried for my safety, pretty lady? 》he questioned, a slight smile on his lips
《A bit. 》She shrugged, feigning a nonchalance she didn’t feel.
《Don’t be. He said we couldn’t deliberately put you in danger, and not warning you about him would be quite the deliberate choice. After so many years, one learns how to twist vows. 》he grinned, before straightening up《We should go back inside, make sure no one gets too wasted. You in, or would you rather stay here and dream about the moon? 》
He disappeared in the faux darkness of the club, and she followed almost without thinking... that might very well be her last night alive and she didn’t want to be alone.
Notes:
So. We met DoKteur. You all better remember him, because he WILL be back (and I hate him so much).
I hope you enjoyed!
Chapter 9: 8– The Extermination
Summary:
The Extermination is here.
Between careful planning, aces up her sleeve and her intelligence and determination, Carmilla will have once again to overcome something enormous... will things go smoothly?And how is it to feel again, when you've not cared about anything in a long time?
Between the horrors, I like to think of this as "the chapter of hope"
Notes:
So... it's been a while. In my defense, I have basically built an house in the meantime, plus my move. It was something.
I'll probably edit those notes in the morning because right now I'm exhausted, so... check them away in a bit.
I hope you all enjoy the chapter, it was really hard to write. It was also extremely long, with more than 11000 words, and that's why I kind of decided to split it... not in two real chapters, but I added a second title in the middle, to help the readers keep track... this is confused I need sleep I'll fix this tomorrow.
Please let me know what you think, I live for the feedback, it keeps me motivated and gives me energy... I love long reviews, but I cherish even the shorter ones!
I love you all, sorry for the wait, and thank you for all the encouragement!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
8– The extermination
“Hope” is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops – at all –
And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm
I’ve heard it in the chillest land
And on the strangest Sea
Yet – never – in Extremity,
It asked a crumb – of me.
– Emily Dickinson
《Come away from that tree, you little rascals 》
Called the imp woman, rising on her toes to get the point across better. Her long dark hair, carefully combed and streaked with grey, contrasted with her pyjama, still crinkled from sleep. The red skin of her face looked smooth, untainted, if not for a fatigue hard to conceal. Even so, she stood fierce and expectantly, imposing as only a mother could be.
Three pair of yellow eyes looked down at her with various degrees of guilt, before the tallest child decided to speak for the whole trio
《But mama! We want to see the angels! 》
The little boy seated next to her son gave an unconvinced nod, while Barbie backed up her twin with much more enthusiasm. The woman sighted, giving the children a worried look
《No, it’s dangerous. A stray spear might hit you! 》
《And you can’t perform if you’re dead, so at least Fizz needs to come back inside. 》
The half asleep voice of her husband caught her by surprise, but she lost no time in smacking him behind the horns, gaining a pained “ouch!” from the man. Dealing with the kids' antics was part of being a parent… or surrogate one, she guessed, and she loved it even when it got hard, but Cash would have to watch his attitude at least for the day. If one of her little ones run out to cry in the middle of the mess that was to come because of his insensitivity, she would kill him.
A stern look was all it took to silence any of the man’s bubbling protests, and her attention focused back on the three little implings that were observing the scene from a safe distance
《You all need to come inside. Here it’s dangerous》she said, leaving no room for discussion. Then, she added more sweetly, winking to her baby boy《I even prepared your favourite snack. 》
《With horse crackers? 》
The little boy peaked up. She gave a big grin – she knew her circus
《With horse crackers. 》
At the confirmation, her Blitzo scrambled to get down from the three as fast as he could, followed by Fizz and screaming so much that, had it been any other day, some other adult would have surely come to scold him
《Yay! The last one to arrive is a chicken! 》
《Hey, you cheated! 》complained the smaller one.
Only her little girl stayed still, looking at her in disappointment
《I don’t like crackers》
The woman smiled softly, lowering herself to her daughter’s level and leaving a caress on her curled horns
《Not even jewel shaped ones? 》
Barbie lightened up just like her brother had done a few minutes prior
《Thanks mum, you’re the best! 》she gave her mother a tight hug, before taking off after her twin《Run as much as you can, you monkeys! I’m faster anyway! 》
She raised, looking at the children fake fighting near the entrance of the tent, before pulling her features back in something hard and turning to her husband.
The fact he hadn’t even tried to complain about how much she must have spent to get the children some treats gave her hope that, after not being able to move the circus to another ring before the extermination, he wasn’t willing to further push his luck with her, and that he would watch his tongue at least for the day. Still, better safe than sorry
《Behave 》she warned, and the man raised his hands in platitude.
《Yes ma’am. 》
She let out a satisfied huff and went back to the tent herself – three hyperactive five years old trained for acrobatics could not, under any circumstances, be left unsupervised. Not if they wanted their home to stay up until the angels’ arrival, at least.
Everything was red.
The sky, the blood covering the streets turned into rivers of despair, the screams.
Everything was a red stain, and the angels were the cancer consuming it.
Black and white, white and red, with an x for an eye, horns, and merciless smiles.
White, like the light of an hospital, their shade unpleasantly hot.
Black, like petrol, like smoke, black like death was in some people’s mind... Carmilla’s death had not been as dark as them.
Her death had been confusing, unexpected, maddening, but it had still left her a silver of hope. The spears descending from the heavens were unforgiving, unrelenting. If those were the angels, she was glad to belong in hell.
She ran, as fast as she could, jumping from a roof to the other, the faux wings bouncing with every movement.
The bag at her side – the most useful tool she would have to survive the day – a reminder that she was prepared for everything... lord Zestial might have given her guns and knives, but she knew better than making aggression her main strategy.
Her mind went back to her teammates.
She had squared each of them. Under the makeup, their faces were still flustered from the drinks and the heat of the club, their breaths heavy and foggy against the cold of the dying night. Dawn was behind the corner
《Here you go, take these 》
She had seventeen tiny bottles in her bag – two for each, and three to spare and keep safe. She handed them carefully, the signets carved on the glass hint enough that in it there was more than common water
《What's in there? 》asked Lauren, with a certain reverence
《Three times boiled unholy water》
《Where the hell did you get that?! 》Brutus took two steps back and Hyena’s fur stood up as a groan escaped him
《From the lake 》
《That fucking thing is acidic, how did you even get close enough??? 》
《Grace, carefulness and a whip 》
《Why the hell did you wait until the last moment to tell us? 》
《I told you it would have been useful to have 》
《But not that you would go and get it! 》
《Didn’t want to promise anything before making sure I could deliver 》
《Why didn’t you gave them to us when we met?》Mikael’s question made sense, and she had thought about setting things in motion earlier, but she had ultimately decided against it. Why saddle them all with an extra worry before it was necessary?
《Bottles of unholy water and a club seemed a bad combo, and I wanted to let you enjoy the night as much as possible … but now it’s time. Dawn will come soon, and I’m positive you won’t accidentally spill it anywhere. 》
《Fair enough. Always full of surprises, aren’t we? 》
Commented Marcus, his opinion hard to pin, but the smile on his lips spoke of intrigue and a bit of admiration.
《I try. 》 Had her path been different, Carmilla would have read into his expression something more... but it hadn’t, so she averted her gaze, focused only on her duty, and settled for a brief reply 《 Now, listen carefully: angels often don’t stay to see if the job is done properly, and we can use this to our advantage; if you see someone injured but the field is otherwise safe, try to wash their wound with it, it will buy them time to get home and maybe find an healer. Should you cut yourselves on anything, use it and then call me immediately. 》
《Are you sure? Unholy water is hard to handle, we could mess up 》
It was a calculated risk, but all things considered she liked her odds. The water she had given them was a bit more tamed than lord Zestial’s books recommend, but it would minimise the chances of something going wrong.
《I already tamed it, so it’s worth a try... worst case scenario, it will diminish their pain, and that’s something. Now, are you ready? 》
The men exchanged looks before nodding. Lauren raised his fist to the sky.
《To Death, may She exempt us from a rendezvous with Ether for another year. 》
Carmilla could see the fear clung on those souls, and felt a need to soothe it. She smiled at them, like she used to do when she was alive and her team had to face too much overtime to manage a particularly though case, confident and charming like a Ray of sunshine after months of winter.
Standing like that, her own fist raised, hair moving in the breeze, she was nothing short of a Nike ready to bring her soldiers to victory, voice clear and strong against the fog of doubt
《To Death. May she never be able to surprise us again. 》
Carmilla dove in an alley, ready to throw herself into her mission. She had made a promise, and would see it honoured, whatever it took.
Zestial paced up and down the rooms. Some, on the lower floors, were crowded – at least for his standards – with souls that he owned and about whose wellbeing he cared enough to offer protection within his own house... usually, that was enough to put his mind at ease, but not this year. He kept spying out the windows, knowing well that most of his spiders by now had probably found refuge in a corner or the other, limiting his abilities to patrol the Ring as he desired.
When he had gone to Carmilla’s boss to set her up for the ungrateful task of helping prepare his men for the extermination, he was still mostly ignorant about her character, and had assumed that for all her piety she still wouldn’t risk herself for someone else. It had taken him less than a conversation to understand that he was wrong.
Carmilla was driven first and foremost by her will to protect those under her care, will that was backed up by an unparalleled sense of duty. And now, that soul so ready to do whatever it took to see others safe was out there, in the middle of a pandemonium.
It was his fault, and the thing most disconcerting was that the guilt was actually eating at him.
But why?! It was a test! He wasn’t supposed to feel like this! Had been any other at risk of not surviving, he would have simply took it as a sign that they weren’t worth of his time... but then, why did he find himself in that room that she had occupied, even if only for a night? Why did he wish she was there instead of outside, there where he could keep her safe and sound?
Carmilla wasn’t a statuette to wrap up in cotton wool, she could be deadly and he was more than aware of that, but she made him feel things that he had never felt before. He wanted her near, and knowing that she was in danger – because she was, it was useless to beat around the bush, so much could go wrong – and that it had been his idea made him drown in regret. If she died because of him, he would have ruined the one good thing that may have happened to him in eons, and he probably deserved that, but Carmilla didn’t, she was not a martyr to punish for his sins.
He had to stop thinking like that. Carmilla would be fine, she was smart, and more ill prepared people had survived before, after all. Why should she succumb?
This extermination could not be over fast enough.
Zestial spared one last look to the room: clean, empty, impersonal like most of his Manor had been since he had given up any pretence of making it look more welcoming... maybe this would be a good chance to do some renovations, put in use again the good linens, the tapestries and embroidered blankets he had commissioned so long ago and that now could only be found in his personal chambers. It was all quite old-fashioned stuff, but it would still suit Carmilla more than that complete anonymity. Focusing on what to do to make his house more comfortable for her would be a better distraction than imagining a scenario where she didn’t come back safe and sound.
He closed the door behind him, making sure to lock it so no one would accidentally wander inside, before making his way to the other wing of the manor. While building it, he had always kept his kin in mind, and destined plenty of space for those he had assumed would eventually joining him... but then his teachings had revealed themselves less ungodly than most had claimed, and he had been left with a bitter relief and too many empty rooms. He was glad his family had been spared from hell, but that happiness wasn’t enough to mend the hole in his chest.
Nowadays he rarely entered those chambers anymore, not being one to wallow in his own sufferings, but during exterminations he simply couldn’t avoid it. It was like a silent call that pulled him to those that, as a fresh overlord, he had believed would eventually become Elisabeth and Catherine’s quarters. At the start, the rooms had been furnished with the outmost care, filled with fabric and toys, and kept clean and updated... but since the first time the angels had begun their yearly massacre, he had bothered less and less, almost considering the presence in hell of a place reserved for his daughters as a bad omen.
He sat on the windowsill, observing the carnage from behind the curtains.
It had started circa two centuries ago.
Heaven had always meddled with the matters of hell, but something had shifted in the past millennia... the reasons were so remote that not even an ancient being like Zestial could recall them – he was arrogant, but still aware that his two hundred years of afterlife were nothing to most angels. Hell had become more and more crowded, a spike in the birth rates of hell-borns had shaken the frail status quo of a realm that was already holding by a tread. The occasional flood of holy water or pestilence weren’t enough anymore to contain the numbers – and the risk of uprising – and so, the exterminations had been announced.
The original plan demanded for two twenty-one days of free reign with no neutral territories, no asylums, no limits on the number of souls that could be killed in a single extermination, and no obligation to spare the natives of hell... for being governed by angels, the sky surely didn’t seem a place for mercy.
It was probably for the best that heaven’s original demands had never become public domain, but Zestial, that had made of secrets his reign, had followed the treaties carefully, asking what could be asked and spying to find out what couldn’t. His carefulness and foresight in such delicate circumstances had earned him many things, the most obvious being:
Enough knowledge to gain the fear and recognition of the Ars goetia, even if not their friendship;
A great advantage to survive the first exterminations without losing too many of his souls;
A newfound respect towards the king.
It was public knowledge that his Majesty wasn’t particularly popular within his own subject, with the queen being the main representative of the Royal family, yet Zestial couldn’t help but admire the skills he had relied upon to reach the agreement that both parts were now abiding to: the king had fought long and hard to ensure not only the protection of any of his future heirs, but also to force their opponents to back off, at least partially. It had been almost three years of negotiations, minor battles and demonstrations of strength, but he had finally succeeded... exterminations were a gruesome affair, but they could have been so much worse.
He felt a bit outraged on the king’s behalf, seeing him being taken less and less seriously as time went by, to the point that the Sins were treated with more respect than him. Once the first few generations of natives (the ones who had witnessed life before that yearly appointment with despair, and Lucifer’s dedication to the protection of hell) had passed, hell-borns and sinners seemed to have forgotten what had cost to grant them an extermination as limited as the current one. Had Heaven had their way, in less of a decade hell would have been completely extinguished.
The status quo was barely keeping everything together, but it was the best they could get. Only if the very foundations of both realms got shaken, if something big and unpredictable happened, only if something gave the demons a fair chance at fighting back, only then things could have turned in hell’s favour. But it was impossible, and wishful thinking never led anywhere.
Or so he had always thought.
Carmilla had made herself home under his skin, with her marvellous mind and the purity of her character. The ability to see the potential in others had been one that he had developed as a child, and that, even if neglected for a few decades, now had come back at full force to illuminate him on the wonder that Carmilla Carmine promised to be. Not that he needed for more light, that soul was bright enough on her own.
Wishful thinking was useless, and yet what Carmilla brought with her wasn’t a wish, only pure, untainted hope.
It was obvious, from all her questioning and the books she had focused on, that she had some plans to try and use angelic steel at her advantage. It worried and excited him at the same time.
It was something he would never say, because a secret is worth more than seven truths, but he had tried, in the past, to forge an angelic-tainted weapon for himself, yet all attempts had failed, and he had almost lost a finger in the process... it wasn’t something he wanted for her to risk, but he also felt like trying to keep her away from her destiny would be foolish, sinful almost... but in that valley of tears that was hell, being holy could come at an high price, one that he wasn’t willing to see paid with Carmilla’s blood. She was... far too precious to be lost to something as fleeting as of hope.
He threw one last glance out of the window, then at the twin beds placed against opposite walls, and let out a deep sigh, his hands tormenting the hair of the doll in his lap. It had been a pretty thing, when he had bought it, with an elegant dress and golden earrings, but time had made it ugly. The paint on the porcelain had faded, the dust had turned it dull, and the petticoats now looked yellowish. The poor doll had wasted away without ever knowing the touch of the child it was destined to... would Carmilla be inevitably ruined as well, independently that she did her best to evade the darkness of hell or that she embraced it? If she clung to the hope of remaining pure, it could do her more bad than good...
Maybe he was being an hypocrite, considering that hadn’t it been for his own dark hopes, he probably wouldn’t have bothered hurrying with his own ascension centuries before... but he was cold and selfish, desperate for something he wanted. Carmilla was a candle, and would set herself on fire to warm others. Keeping her flame out would keep her safe, but the price of that, he couldn’t guess.
Something told him, it would be higher than blood.
Run.
She had to run, run, run
The place she had found refuge in had collapsed five hours into the extermination, and now she had to run, escape, get to the only other safe heaven she was aware of.
Faster and faster and faster, trying to ignore her bleeding arm and blistered feet.
She had to get home to her husband, she had to get to safety, she had to get away from there...
She had to run, run, run...
But nothing was where it was supposed to, and soon she fell, lungs pierced by an angelic spear, her body just another stain paving the streets of hell.
《Do you think it will work? 》
Mikael made himself as flat as possible against the wall. Their patrol had gone smoothly, so much that they had gotten a bit too bold and failed to check properly before climbing down a cramped passage, and now found themselves – literally –with no way out as two angels approached. Their only saving grace was that they had not been spotted yet.
《It’s not like we got a better option 》
Carmilla had insisted to disseminate the whole territory with tiny traps. Exploiting a simple mechanism, they were supposed to launch things and producing a loud noise, hopefully catching the angels’ attention long enough to get any of them out of a dire situation. The traps were completely innocuous – there had not been enough time to project and build anything more complex, especially given that the only one able to help Carmilla in the endeavour had been Marcus – but it was something.
They had considered it a waste of time at the start, but now that it was their only chance at survival, they were glad that Carmilla had ignored their protests and forced them to help her set the traps anyway. How a newbie like her had managed to figure out how to integrate magic in the remote was a mystery, but they had other things to worry about.
Lukas drew the runes as fast as he could, trembling slightly in fear of dropping it. When all was done, there was an anxiety inducing moment of silence, before a loud “BANG” followed by other sounds, as of a dumpster being slammed shut.
Mikael and Lukas could hear the angels’ voices, made acute and terrifying as they filtered through their masks and the tall buildings surrounding them
《What was that? 》asked the farthest away, as the other tried to peek in the small opening. The two sinners held their breaths, the darkness their best camouflage.
Thank Lucifer the angels didn’t use flashlights.
《I don’t know, we need to check in there 》was the reply.
The other huffed.
《Leave it alone, the sparkle you saw was probably just an hell cat, or another of those awful spiders, it’s too narrow for any demon to fit in there anyway. 》 the angel was out sight, but they could hear a lingering fear clinging to its tone《With all these in-deep checks we are losing too much time, we will end up not meeting our quote for this extermination if you don’t hurry, and Adam won’t be happy about it 》
The nearest angel, that had stuck its arm in the opening and was a few centimeters from Lukas head, froze, before retracting.
《You’re right. Let’s go, there are easier preys. 》
Both men stood still for a long while, until nothing could be heard anymore, be it fluttering of wings or the menacing cling of a spear, before finally starting to climb out again.
As they reached the roof, they took a deep breath, their bodies going slack as the tension left them. They were still alive.
Carmilla’s idea had seemed crazy, but it had worked... maybe, they could try and listen to her just a bit more.
In the sex district, there was little hope to hold on to.
Pica tightened her embrace around the younger boy, shielding him from the pandemonium going on right outside their improvised hideout in the tiny space under the stairs of the library... Pica didn’t know why, but angels never seemed to check there.
A kiss on his sweat covered forehead. An attempt at comfort.
Her face pressed in his hair, the smell of a devastated life clinging to her clothes. A life that she was not able to protect most of the time, but that she still cherished with all she had left
《We will get through this together, Yí, don’t worry. I won’t let them hurt you. 》
There was no answer. Only silent tears soaking into her shirt.
Rosie took a sip of her tea, ignoring what was going on right outside her barricaded window with a nonchalance barely betrayed by the stiffness in her shoulders.
Exterminations were a gruesome affair indeed, but they always left in their wake quite the tasty buffet. Being she quite the optimistic vulture herself, she would focus on that.
Empty, empty, empty...
Someone.
Carmilla had been patrolling the streets of hell from above, looking for any soul that had been left out during the massacre. In most cases, all she could do was fixing their hiding spot better, or directing them toward a darker alley; she had already used two of her traps, and had to be careful to stop the angels from tracing a pattern. As the hours passed, it became harder and harder distinguishing the corpses from the survivors, and she didn’t know if being glad or horrified... in all the mess, even the angels would be forced to slow down, but the thought did little to console her.
That’s why, when she spotted a bluish sinner making his way in an empty corner, and the badly closed window of a nearby palace, her mind orchestrated a new, if risky, plan. She descendent on the poor soul grabbing it from behind, and covered his mouth with one of her big hands.
《Don’t scream. I’m on your side, and I’ll take you somewhere safe, okay? 》the other nodded – if out of fear or desperate trust, one could not tell – and she released him 《Good. Stay still. 》
She threw the confused boy over her shoulder, and started climbing up the building using one of the many tiny ladders that characterised hellish architecture – or at the very least, the one of Zestial’s territory. Once reached the seventh floor or so, she pushed open a window before slithering in and dropping her cargo on the floor.
The poor tenant – an elfish like sinner, with big pointy hears and red hued skin –didn’t look particularly thrilled by the unexpected visit, and the point was further driven across as a flying slipper almost smacked Carmilla in the forehead.
There was a short second in which each of them studied the other two.
Now what?
《DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK?! 》exclaimed the unwilling host in relief, as he realised that neither invader was an exterminator.
Carmilla shrugged, before giving them a stern look and instructions that left no space for debate
《He lives here until the end of the extermination, no questions allowed. Stay inside, don’t kill each other and keep quiet. 》 she turned around, to inspect the window《Your window's lock was broken, that’s why I picked this place. I’ll fix it, so don’t panic if it gets a bit noisy or dark. 》
She started to climb out, but both sinners clung to her before she could take her leave. She turned, annoyed. Couldn’t they see she had no time to waste?
《Wait! Don’t go away, are you crazy?! There’s the end of the world going on out there! 》
《Yeah, stay here, my place is small but like... I’m not a monster, don’t go die 》
Their genuine concern melted away her indignation, and she gifted them a smile, precious comfort amongst the horrors of the day
《Don’t worry, everything is under control, protecting this district is my job. Now, hush 》
She gently freed herself of their grips, and dove back in the street. The two remaining souls stood quietly for a few moments, as they tracked her shadow against the curtains and the sound of metal tickling, before dark and quietness overtook the room.
They looked at each other.
Then at the now barricaded window.
Then at each other again.
《Do you think...? 》
Spoke the blue sinner, to break the tension, but was interrupted by his still stunned companion
《No. Lord Zestial doesn’t work with succubi. 》
《I don’t believe she was really one. Her eyes were off, and she didn’t fly to take me here. 》he informed, sitting down on one of the cushions on the floor. All that running had taken a lot out of him.
《Then... 》he started, with a vague gesture of his hands.
《Seems so. 》was the conclusion.
Both looked at the window again, until the red skinned one, still in disbelief, blurted out again
《This is absurd, they have never done anything like this, they usually just patrol! 》
《New management? 》offered his counterpart, looking around
《Apparently. 》
《I hope she survives. That girl was awesome. 》
《Agreed 》
Another awkward pause, filled only by the rumbling of a stomach
《So... do you have any food nearby? 》 asked the rescued, earning an outraged glare from his host《What? Something tells me we’re gonna be stuck together for a few hours still, why starve? 》
The young man seemed to ponder it for a second, before shrugging and handing the other a pack of cookies. That extermination was weird enough without questioning it further
《Here, but, don’t push it 》
《I won’t. I’m Anthony, by the way. You? 》
Janice cried softly, trying not to make a sound. John offered his chest to muffle the tears, and April a cup of anxiolytics.
They all knew the noise took her back to the forsaken night of the car crash, to the guilt and shame and despair that had come once she had realised how much that one mistake had cost her and others, but with death looming just a few feet from them, they couldn’t offer a better distraction.
A few hours still, and it would all be over.
Marcus checked his phone. Carmilla had sent an update ten minutes before, it would be wise to text her as well to let her know he was still alive, as was Lauren... they had been doing that for the past ten hours, and would keep going for the next two.
His heart hurt a bit, as he realised that this time the thought of double dying didn’t scare him as much as usual... not with someone out there that kept checking on him, and that would probably find his body and give it a proper goodbye if he didn’t make it.
What a weird type, that Carmilla. Hot as a forge, cold as a blade, and she made him feel again the ghost of affection.
Something told him he would have to kiss her, if he made it out alive. Something else, reminded him that a woman like her was made for admiration, not romance.
The striking of a clock could be heard in every corner of the city, as the portal from heaven got sealed again.
The black and white hues of angels left their spot in the sky to the yellows and pinks and greens and reds of fireworks, enough to paint a rainbow over the bloody streets, an offer of peace to the souls that had survived the divine massacre.
Carmilla couldn’t believe her eyes as she climbed up the ladder to observe the city around her, jumping from a building to another to make sure that the exterminators were really gone. An unrestrainable smile pulled at her lips, as she turned her last landing in a small pirouette.
Was it really over? She had just seen Marcus, from Lauren’s last text everything seemed under control...
As she thought that, a single vibration came from her phone, and she swiftly checked it. As she read the message, Carmilla went pale, and hurried to make her way to the other side of the district.
One of the guys was hurt.
Mierda.
The Aftermath
《It was my fault, I distracted him, we didn’t see— 》
Mikael was hyperventilating, but Carmilla didn’t have much time to calm him down. She put an hand on his shoulder, pushing him aside gently, trying to get enough space to examine Lukas.
She didn’t know how, but he had managed to get his side scratched by a spear... it would have been less than nothing, hadn’t it been made of angelic steel.
The poor boy laid unconscious on the ground, and his friend clung to him like on a lifeline. She looked at Marcus, and he came to get Mikael away
《Don’t panic. Take a deep breath, everything will be fine. 》he tried to reassure, even if he didn’t seem to believe it either.
Brutus, in the background, shook his head, as Mikael kept sobbing
《That’s an angelic wound, things won’t be fine! 》
《They will. Give me space to work. 》assured Carmilla. 《Marcus, help me, we need to get him inside without jostling him too much. 》
The advantage was that the accident had happened in a mostly secluded spot, and with some luck the nearest building wouldn’t be too dirty either. Given the partially collapsed ceiling, Carmilla doubted they would find anyone hiding inside.
《Someone call lord Zestial. I’ll start the procedure, but we need him 》
《But... 》
《Call. Now. 》 she interrupted the rising protest《Blame me if you must, but hurry. 》
Marcus nodded, even if with some reticence, and left the room with Brutus. Mikael, still in shock, slumped in a corner and didn’t move anymore.
She was on her own.
《What happened? 》
Receiving a call from a sigil that very much wasn’t Carmilla, and right after an extermination, had been an horrible experience. Teleporting on site only to find two of his men hadn’t been much more reassuring.
《Lukas is hurt. 》explained Marcus, trying not to winch.
《And Carmilla? 》
《She was the one who told us to call you, my lord 》
Zestial had wanted to know where she was, how she was, why hadn’t they checked on her yet, but his accusatory tone got misinterpreted. At least, now he knew she was alive.
《And where is she? 》he asked so coldly that it made the two men lose their voices
He knew he couldn’t really blame them, he was the lord fear and rejoiced in it, but after spending a day regretting his decisions and wondering if she would survive, his patience was running thin, and he wanted plain answers.
《She’s inside with Lukas, tending to him. 》explained finally Marcus, showing the way.
Zestial’s whole demeanour relaxed as soon as he saw her. She was standing next to a table, her fingertips busy tracing symbols around the infected skin of his subordinate.
《Carmilla... 》he started, glad to see her, but she didn’t give him time to express it.
She turned abruptly, gloves stained with blood, a “no-nonsense” gleam in her eyes, and immediately started explaining the details
《Lukas got grazed by an angelic spear. I already drew the runes, I also applied three times boiled unholy water and some clean bandages, but I haven’t sealed them yet. What else can you do? We need to proceed quickly. 》
Her attitude took him aback – and not only in in a strictly professional way, he would later admit, quite guiltily – but he regained himself almost instantly
《I have an herbal concoction and more runes. 》 he approached the table to inspect the damage himself. There was only a solution he could think of《This doesn’t seem too deep, if we cut the infected flesh with an hellish blade, it shall regenerate. 》
《If we don’t cut? 》
《It could fester. 》
《Very well. Pass me my bag. 》she ordered, and he obeyed without thinking twice about it.
She extracted a syringe, and started preparing it. He recognised the content as an anaesthetic that would grant him a somewhat painless experience.
《Mikael? 》
As she was going to inject him with the medicine, something, barely a whisper, came from the boy. Zestial would have ignored it and continued, but Carmilla paused, gently caressing the younger one’s forehead with the back of her hand
《Lukas, do you hear me? 》
《Mikael... where... 》
《He’s here, he’s safe, but you have been hurt, and need to be cared for, okay? 》
《Am I dying? 》
《No, no one will die today. But we need to cut around the wound, alright? 》
《I’m scared 》
《It’s your choice. But this will make sure that you’ll live. 》
《Young Lukas... 》started Zestial, and Carmilla threw him a glare, as to intimate him not to give orders in such circumstances.
He was an Overlord. Such an attitude was bound to be unacceptable, yet under her gaze he felt like a pupil scolded by a wise teacher. He had witnessed their exchange in silence, awestruck by the tenderness that such a woman could display under the right circumstances... who was he to contrast such a power?
He simply nodded
《Thou hast the right of deciding what to doth, free of mine influence, yet I suggest thou agree. 》
The young one looked at Carmilla with teary eyes
《Will you be the one to cut? 》
《Do you want me to? 》he nodded, and she promised 《then, I will. 》
She made the injection and they watched him drift into a merciful, if artificial, sleep
《I got a sterilised blade in there, hand it to me– and be careful. 》she instructed, and Zestial complied
《Perfect. Do you have your herbs? 》she asked, and he summoned them in his hands.
《I cut, you sew it with your web. Then, we put the medicine and clean gauze. 》
《The runes nearest the wound, under the gauze, shall be depicted with his own blood, to avoid an immunity reaction 》He warned
《Right. Ready? 》
The procedure went smoothly. The conditions were not ideal, but Zestial was fairly certain that there wouldn’t be any infection... they just had to hope that angelic curse wouldn’t expand.
He watched as Carmilla fixed the gauze, and then took a clean blade to cut her arm again. He noticed that, under the sleeve, she was already bleeding, even if not much, and he took her wrist to stop her.
She turned to him, annoyed. It was understandable, after such a long ordeal, but he couldn’t let her hurt herself over nothing
《What? We don’t have time to lose 》
《Thine blood possesses little magic, it will take plenty of it to trace an effective rune》he explained.
《We don’t have anything else, so mine will have to do. It’s not like blood loss will kill me. 》
She made as to free herself from his grip, but he tightened it slightly and took the blade
《Allow me 》 he said, making a small cut on his palm《mine holds more magic, no need to hurt thyself 》
She pulled down her sleeve and watched him work. He tried to focus on the runes, and not on how the sight of her open skin had made his stomach twist. It unsettled him more that a corpse would have... more than the sight of Lukas wounded body.
《Carmilla. Thou hast done what could be done, now come away from the floor. 》
《Not until I’ll be sure that he will be okay. 》
《Carmilla, be reasonable... 》
《I’m being reasonable. He was under my responsibility, and now he’s hurt, so I’ll take care of him 》
She was kneeling next to the bed, in lack of a chair, a wet cloth in hand.
They had managed to take Lukas at his house – Lauren had made a stop to get Marcus’ car, and had reached them by the time the improvised operation was over – and now they were all there.
Well... almost all. As they were preparing Lukas for the transfer, lord Zestial had grown tired of all the crowd and noise, and had intimated to anyone that wasn’t actively doing anything to leave; Brutus and Hyena had taken the chance immediately, even if from what she had gathered at least one of them was still asking for news through Lauren.
Carmilla felt responsible for what had happened, and couldn’t be persuaded to leave the young man alone. With Mikael just now starting to regaining himself, and the other two in the living room, she felt a duty to keep guard... but Zestial didn’t seem to agree with her reasoning.
《I didn’t hire thee to be their governess, they shall face the consequences of their own actions. 》 this time, he didn’t stop at words, and pulled her to her feet gently《He shall be fine. Thine arm needs tending as well. 》
She snatched her arm from his hold
《It’s just a few cuts, and they’re clean. No need to worry. 》
《Carmilla— 》he started again, but she cut it short
《I did my job. This is because I want to, I’m not leaving. 》
Zestial knew that, deep down, she had an healthy fear of him and of how he could react if displeased, but it was obvious that her dedication now was stronger.
He could try to take advantage of it, but he found himself unwilling of recurring even to the emptiest of threats... he was capable of great violence, but he was not a violent man, and Carmilla had managed, without even trying, to gain his respect. Intimidating her into obedience was not something he wanted to do. At that point, he doubted he could.
Unexpectedly, it was Mikael that finally brought an end to his growing frustration
《I can take your place, you should patch yourself up 》 he murmured to Carmilla, so softly that he was almost inaudible《It would make me feel less useless 》
She looked at him for a long time, before sighting and handing him the cloth
《It needs to be switched and cooled off every ten minutes or so 》
《I got it 》
As soon as she stood aside, Zestial seized his chance, grabbing her by the shoulders and guiding her away
《Lord Zestial—》she started to protest, but he got her out and on the nearest couch nonetheless, in his actions a carefulness almost incompatible with their speed
《Thou hast been an excellent nurse. Now, sit down 》
He pulled up her sleeve, and she did her best to conceal her uneasiness in front of Lauren and Marcus that, one seated and the other leaning on the only armchair, were watching them with mild alarm.
She raised her arm for all to see
《See? Nothing bad. 》she assured
《Indeed. 》 conceded lord Zestial, finally satisfied, as he examined and bandaged the scratches
《You should rest a bit anyway 》 dared to suggest Marcus, handing her a glass of water《Are you cold? You can have my hoodie 》
《I’m fine 》
《Are you sure? We could find you a blanket》
《I’m not hurt, I don’t need coddling 》
《Blood loss would make anyone feel colder, and it’s night either way. 》said Zestial then, draping a blanket over her shoulders
《I don’t— 》
《We have a deal, miss Carmine. I shall uphold mine end. 》
She looked around the room in defeat
《... thank you. Now, please, give me a little space. 》
Everyone seemed okay with that, and the two men went in the kitchen to put up a pot of coffee. Zestial sat at the other end of the couch, his expression unreadable, but Carmilla was a bit too tired to care.
《He’s waking up! 》
Came screaming Mikael an hour later, and everyone jumped up to go check on Lukas... except the Overlord, that opted for a slower and more dignified peace.
《Am I dead? 》asked the young one, still dizzy from the anaesthetic and medications.
《Nope. I’m afraid you’re still stuck with us 》
His friend laughed between tears, his eyes glowing as sobs shook his chest, and Zestial realised he had never before seen one of his souls look this alive.
He stayed on the side, unseen and almost forgotten, as everybody congratulated the boy on his survival. It was... bittersweet to witness, especially as Carmilla gently scolded him for giving her an heart attack. She cared so much... had he ever cared that much about something outside of himself?
He shook himself out of his meditation, and approached the bed as well.
《Luckily, thou did not fall prey of the angels. Thou got injured, but received proper treatment, and shall be fine in a short while. Still, I would like to know: how did thou get hurt in the first place? Did thou stray from what had been planned? 》
《It was my fault, my l-lord. We were so overjoyed of having survived the extermination, that we didn’t see that a spear had been hidden between walls. I failed to warn him in time 》intervened Michael, only to be immediately interrupted by his friend
《I should have been more careful, I’m to blame, not him. 》
《I doth not care about which one of you was more careless; it’s still an unacceptable behaviour 》
He could sense Carmilla’s gaze on him.
Displeased.
Maybe it had been a bit too soon for questions? He simply wanted to get all the information as they were still fresh, yet Carmilla’s glare made him reconsider. Maybe a kinder approach would be more well received, given the circumstances.
《No need for heroism. We just survived an hecatomb, I’m not looking for a scapegoat... yet I expect you to be more savvy next time. Miss Carmine was not responsible of your well-being, it was fortunate that she went beyond her duty in preparing such a good contingency plan nonetheless. 》
《We will be more careful. We’re mortified. 》
《And we know we were the ones to mess up. We’re sorry, Carmen 》
《All that matters is that we all made it. 》she assured, now more relaxed
《Exactly. Then, all is settled. Thou shall be fine, it was a mere scratch, yet avoid strenuous activities for a fortnight and keep to thine bed. Doth not wash away the runes for at least three days, I’ll send someone to check on thee on the morrow. 》
《Yes... thank you, lord Zestial, my lord. 》
《Thank you, I’ll... I’ll make sure he doesn’t overdo it. 》
《Perfect. Now, I shall leave you all to your deserved rest. 》 with that, he turned to Carmilla, that didn't seem to enjoy being the centre of attention 《Allow me to escort thee to thine apartment, miss Carmine. It has been a long day. 》
《Maybe I should stay the night, make sure Lukas is really fine... 》
《There’s nothing more that requires thine presence, thou would do better to go rest as well. 》
《Don’t worry, Millie. We got this. 》
《Alright then. But text me to let me know how it is going, I’ll visit again soon. 》
《You can count on it 》assured Marcus.
The time of a nod, and Zestial teleported her away
《The boss seemed mad, do you think Carmen will be alright? 》
Asked Mikael again, tormenting his hair
《She will, he was probably just annoyed because she seemed to care more about Lucas than his orders 》
《Do you think we did the right thing, leaving them alone? Maybe I should call her now 》
《Don’t. If he’s mad because she didn’t listen right away, she is the only one who can deescalate the situation now. We risk making things worse for her if we check too soon. 》advised Marcus, nervous as well.
《I don’t think we need to worry, though, she seems to be handling him just fine. 》
《I don’t know... he seemed in an hurry to take her away. What if he hurts her? 》
《 He also got her a blanket, so I’m sure he wasn’t that upset. And anyway, you know how he is, he never manhandles ladies, he will forgive her eventually. 》 reasoned Lauren《She’s hired, not owned. Their dynamic is different. 》
《If you say so. Why are you smiling now? 》
《Oh, nothing. I just think you’re both worrying over nothing... if I can be honest, to me he seems quite fond of her wild edge. 》
《We shouldn’t gossip about the boss’ private life. 》 snapped Marcus at that, uncomfortable《we should go home now, let Lukas rest. 》
《Are you going to give me a ride? 》
《Sure. Just hurry up. 》
In the car, the conversation was dire.
《It would be good if she became a permanent part of our little team, don’t you agree? 》
《Maybe, but for her own good I hope she doesn’t. Between Hyena, Brutus, the terrible hours and the danger, the wisest route would be to get her money and quit. 》
《Shame. Having some hope to cling to would make us all plenty of good. 》 tried again the blond, before giving up《You seem upset. It’s for what I said before? 》
Mikael tightened his grip on the steel, as he tried to avoid the corpses still on the street. Driving after the extermination was a mess.
《I expected the others to insinuate things, not you. She and the boss aren’t an item. 》
《I meant no offence, you know I like Carmilla, she’s a damn genius... but you have seen what I saw, right? You must admit that our lord has never before been so fond of someone, not even his bird of prey. I know I’m not imagining things. 》
《She’s incredibly skilled, not like us, she’s bound to receive special treatment 》
《It was more than “special treatment”》 he sighed, looking out the window《If it can lift your spirit, I don’t think the feelings are mutual, for now. And you are better looking, you could still have a chance. 》
《I don’t like Carmilla like that.》 he snapped《 I just don’t want her to fall prey of an overlord’s tricks. 》
《And if it isn’t a trick? He was human, once, like all of us, he might sincerely care for her 》
《To care one needs an heart, and I would be surprised if lord Zestial didn’t take the first chance to get rid of his. Now shut up and tell me where I need to turn, this forsaken day needs to end. 》
“No worst blind than the one who doesn’t want to see” thought Lauren, but started paying attention to the street anyway. It wasn’t his place, to make others see the obvious.
His heart was beating fast. He felt a weird mix of ecstatic, furious, worried sick and blissfully glad.
Carmilla was alive and mostly well, and she had outright disregarded his orders to do what she deemed fair, and she had been so smart about it that he had been left with noting objective to reprehend her with. She was covered in stains, the pink makeup losing its grip and revealing the natural skin underneath... she was so disarmingly beautiful, and it was absolutely unfair.
Her hair had no right to look so soft and tempting after all the sweat and dirt, or her eyes to glimmer with such charming wit... and the way she had bossed him around had no right of making him feel as turned on as he did, but he just couldn’t avoid it.
That woman would drive him insane.
After the gut-wrenching stress of the day, all he wanted to do was hold her tight, feel her pulse under his fingers and promise he would never again tempt her to dance so near death’s clutches. He wanted to apologise, ask her if she felt alright, if it had been too much of a shock... but she appeared so... serene.
She had been worried for her charges, but that tension was almost gone, melted away from the awareness of a job well done. She had been through humanity’s worst nightmare, and yet desperation hadn’t clung to her like it did to other souls. Her soul was still fresh, still light as a clear conscience, and for a long moment Zestial doubted that such a creature could really belong in hell. Hadn’t he known better he would have sworn that her presence there must have been some kind of mistake.
《Sir? Could you let me go? Where are we? 》
Asked Carmilla, an edge of fear in her voice. Why now did she seemed to fear him more than death itself, when in so many other occasions they had been so comfortable with one another?
《Mine house. This is mine laboratory, thou hast never been here before, I shall show thee around in a better occasion》 he explained, releasing her and hoping that the casual tone would reassure her even when he struggled to conceal his own tension《Sit here and stay still, please. I need to gather some supplies. 》
She eyed the operation table with mistrust
《What for? 》
《Checking that thou art truly unharmed 》
《I’m not a child, I don’t need to be checked 》
《Of course. 》 He conceded, one of his shadows slithering behind her《Doth not move 》
《Stop... hey! 》
The shadow pulled at the neck of her shirt, exposing the badly bruised shoulder. The muscles seemed swollen and inflamed, maybe strained, and it had to be painful.
He had put his left arm before her, to keep her standing, and she stood abnormally still as his fingers traced the sore spot.
She needed a proper lenitive, and to rest.
《Did thou crash against something? 》He asked, detaching himself from the fact that it was Carmilla’s skin the one he had just touched. The skin of her back.
He had to do what was good for her, and what she needed was proper medical care.
《A wall. There was no other way. 》
《I see. 》 he said, helping her to stand straight again《Take off thine shirt and sit on the table, please, I shall medicate thee properly. 》
She went pale in the face, and he tried to understand if he had chosen his words poorly again, but he was pretty sure he hadn’t accidentally used any slang for something improper, this time... why was she so upset?
《The others were banged up as well, why am I the only one that gets a personal check? 》she accused, and he tried to placate her in a way that wouldn’t confirm her that, while he never refused help to his souls when asked, he was more than happy to turn a blind eye the rest of the time.
《They have each others. Once home thou shall be alone, with no one to aide thee, am I right? Assuming that it has not been damaged at all, that’s it. 》
《You can’t force me to accept help if I don’t want it 》
《No, yet in conscience I can’t let thee wander alone in this state either... 》he said, moving as to reach her neck again
《You have no idea of how much worse I have endured, don’t dare to touch me! 》She snapped, swatting his hand away. She froze immediately after, surprised, embarrassed and maybe a bit scared by her own reaction
《I'm... I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Just... 》
He looked at her, some understanding drawing upon him. He had had a mother, sisters, associates... a wife, for hell’s sake, he should have known that his actions would be ill received, even if well intended... It was his turn to feel ashamed, but he couldn’t let his feelings get in the way, be them pleasant or not
《I apologise. I shouldn’t have acted like I did 》he reassured, offering her what he hoped was a calming smile《Thou art right, I am simply making assumptions, and I was wrong for acting so ungentlemanly-like. Yet, I promise I only wish to help 》
He summoned one of his dressing gowns and offered it to her, taking a step back
《Have this, wear it with the open part on thine back... Use it to cover thyself as I put some ointment on the bruise. I shall doth mine best not to touch thine undergarments. Feel free of keeping thine weapons at hand, I shall take no offence 》 He turned around, giving her privacy 《I beg thee. Thou hast done a lot for mine men today, and for mine souls. Allow me to repay thee with the same consideration 》
There was a long pause, them some ruffling of clothes. She had probably untied her jacket from her waist
《Alright. Just... let’s do this quickly. I have stuff to do before morning comes. 》
《As thou wish. Let me know when thou art ready, I shall be right outside 》
《There’s no need to circle around admitting that something makes thee uncomfortable, art thou aware? 》
He asked, as he finished applying the cold and sticky substance on her shoulders and neck. Her lower back had been, luckily, mostly spared.
《It doesn’t hurt that bad, it could have healed on its own 》she replied, curt. Be it fatigue or discomfort, she was being uncharacteristically quiet.
《I was not referring to the injury, even if thou should make an habit of addressing such things sooner as well. I’m talking about thine... discomfort, around others: I shall not judge thee for being modest, we may always find a workaround to prevent thee from feeling outraged as thou receive proper care 》
She turned in the batting of an eye, offended, and Zestial found himself facing her with no prior warning. Not the best, for someone who was trying to keep the body he was working on and the lady he was fascinated with as separated thoughts.
《I’m sorry. What? I’m not! 》
《Thou art clearly uncomfortable at the idea of being exposed before others, maybe especially men. Thine uneasiness was not linked to mine specific person, or it would have taken much more than a bathrobe to soothe it. I understand, and hell or not I won’t judge thee for wanting to keep thine privacy 》 he explained, walking a few feet away to get a warm cloth.
He offered it to her as she kept studying him like a puzzle she needed to crack. Should he go on or stay quiet? Maybe a plain reassurance would be for the best
《And for what concerns any latent fear of me personally attempting anything indecent against thee, I beg thee to set them aside. I’m not a degenerate, and have no interest of forcing myself on a lady... or anyone else, for that matter. Lust is a powerful thing, yet lust without consent is merely violence. 》
《Living up to your gentlemanly aesthetic? 》she asked, almost melancholic, and he felt a pang of... offence? Sadness? Longing?
Was he wounded that she could think so lowly of him, or was he upset because someone had clearly given her reason to?
《I may be a monster, Carmilla, yet I doth have a conscience. And gentleman or not, I assure thee that I deem intimacy appealing and satisfactory only when all parts involved give their enthusiastic consent. I can proudly say I have no sin in that regard 》
《Sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything, just... I don’t know, didn’t expect the Overlord from the Middle Ages to be more progressive than some of my... colleagues 》
She seemed guilty now, and he regretted being so plain in his choice of words... yes, his honesty would make her believe him, but his dear Carmilla had had a terrible day, and was injured, he should have tried to lighten the mood, especially given the subject at hand.
Who knew if she had met those kinds of monsters, and if they had worn a smile to conceal their intentions.
《Thou must not apologise, it’s for the best that thou art guarded. I am aware that women can be more... vulnerable, to such kinds of threats, and thou art correct in taking thine time to assess someone’s character... 》 he assured, then, noticing Carmilla’s surprised look, he continued《Doth not be surprised... ancient or not, to not notice such a thing, it would take only deliberate ignorance, and that’s something I abhor. I guarantee that in mine person thou shall find the most observant ally. 》He promised, and with that his tone turned darker again, as he moved to stand right in front of her, his four eyes scanning hers 《Has someone given thee any problems since thine arrival, mine dear? If they survived the cleanse, I could handle their punishment in thine stead. A name and I shall make them pay... even a description shall do 》
《No, no one did anything to me. And anyway, I’m not a damsel in distress and I don’t need saving. I was a cop, I handled violent men daily, I can fend for myself, thank you. 》
《On the long run? I have no doubt. Thou hast survived an extermination, thine wit and strength art not up for discussion. Yet... while thou art still learning the ways of this realm, it might serve thee better to rely on someone with more experience, at least in some occasions. Not like a “damsel” ... imagine thyself more as a young Knight that knows when to rely on the cavalry. 》
She seemed to reflect for a long moment
《Did you rely on someone? When you were fresh like me? 》
《I had no one trustworthy. Yet it seemed fair, since so many privileges had been granted to me as a birth-right when I was alive. 》 He explained, starting to comb her long hair in a braid. She didn’t protest, maybe needing the distraction just as much as him《Doth not get me wrong, mine dear, I had dirtied mine hands to get what I wanted plenty of times already... yet starting from scratches was something new, and I dare say, a refreshing experience. What I have now, I owe to no one but me, and I take pride in such an accomplishment. 》
《In life, I feel like I never did anything but start from scratches.》 She confided, tiredness and closeness making her tongue loose《 I had plenty of people around, but... 》
《None was really there for thee. 》 he finished for her《privileged or not, loneliness has been mine only companion for a long while as well. Sometimes I think I’d like to change that. 》
《Then, you should probably start working on it 》
《Oh, I am. Slowly, yet fiercely, I’m heading towards success. On this have no doubt. 》
He assured as he tied a black ribbon around her pale curls《Thou art all done. 》
《Thank you. 》 She said, inspecting his work – both her shoulder and braid – with her hands《The way out? 》
《Not so fast. I shall first give thee something to regain thine energies, and the blood thou hast lost. 》
She shook her head
《I still have things to do, I can’t take anything that could make me less alert 》
The fact she didn’t seem to realise she was already less alert was worrisome
《Would eighteen hours be enough? 》 He asked instead of commenting《I can give thee something that shall make thine body feel as good as new, with no collateral effects, for eighteen hours, but then thou shall probably feel bone tired. Is it an acceptable compromise? 》
《Alright. Do you need help preparing it? 》
《No. Simply rest while it boils, thine speech is starting to sound slurred. I shall wake thee if slumber takes thee. 》
《Here we art. 》he said, inspecting their surroundings before letting her go 《art thou sure thou wish to be on thine own? 》
《Yes. Thank you for the ride 》
《Miss Carmine? 》
《Yes? 》
《Should thou need a place to hide something, ask the spiders. They shall understand thee. 》
《What do you mean? 》
《I think thou knows 》 he grinned《I have figured out that thou hast something planned. I hoped thou would have reconsidered by now, yet, it’s thine decision to make, and I deem best to support thine ambitions even if I’m not certain of what they entail. I barely recommend that thou act with intelligence and foresight, as if on the line there wasn’t thine life alone. 》
《Why? 》
《I want to give thee a fair chance. Let us see what thou art capable of when not hindered. 》he simply explained, handing her a fluffy white spider 《Be careful, mine dear》
And with that, he disappeared.
Carmilla looked at the creature in her hand, then at the spot where Zestial had stood only a moment before.
Somehow, she had done it. She had kept her team safe, she had increased the chances of survival for Zestial’s souls, she had been the strategist and protector she was supposed to be. Now, with a lighter heart and a moment to breathe, she could actually start to put her afterlife together.
The air was again gelid around her, but for once Carmilla didn’t feel cold at all; as she climbed up the walls, she couldn’t avoid smiling, a liberating laugh tickling her throat. Even surrounded by the proof of massacre, her heart felt light as a feather.
From the roof, she admired the skyline of the city, the fireworks still sparkling on the horizon and the screams muffled from the distance, her body intangible and pleasantly numb against the hard cement.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, letting the hellish breeze murmur to her of the life in the pentagram. She felt, for a short moment, completely at peace even if she knew it couldn’t be allowed to last... the night was still young, and she had a lot to do.
Notes:
The whole name of the young boy that was with Pica is "Xīn-Yí 心怡 " that means "free spirited heart." Initially I hadn't planned of inserting her as well in this chapter, but then my friend, let's call her "Joy", asked me about it, and I got inspired.
The tone of this chapter was hard to balance – it's about the extermination, something gruesome and terrifying – but also about a woman that is given, for the first time in forever, the chance of proving how wonderful she is. In a story about hell this would be the darkes chapter, but in Carmilla's personal tragedy, the hardest part has still to come.
On a funnier note: it's fortunate that Zestial doesn't have hair, because worrying about Carmilla would make his head turn white overnight.
I thank everyone for the support... I'll try to post again before the end of September, I'm sorry if I'm slower than promised but I'm doing my best. I literally wrote part of this covered in paint and dust as I was helping my mum renovating an house.
Chapter 10: 9– The start of something
Summary:
Carmilla is busy dealing with everyone and their cousin, while Zestial tries to help her without looking like a complete moron. Pica makes her return, Carmilla learns some stuff and the author is extremely tired but still hopes she managed to pull this off.
Between banter and new deals on the table, get ready for an emotional rollercoaster!
Notes:
I know it took me forever to update, and I apologise. I was never satisfied with this chapter, and it took me a bit to reach a point where I could see it working... at the start I was sure I would be able to make weekly updates, because I thought my chapters would be between 2000 and 4000 words top... but here we hare, hitting 14.500 words. One could say that my updates are like Zestial’s meals: far away but very substantial!
Jokes aside, here I must rectify: updates will be at most twice a month... I'm truly sorry, but this is the rhythm I cansustain right now.
About the chapter itself: the start is rough, but I recommend you push through to enjoy the brighter sides... like Carmilla in cute clothes and Zestial being a wholesome idiot.
I thank everyone for the comments- they gave me so much drive when I was feeling low– and I hope you will enjoy this chapter as well.
Happy Halloween, even if a bit late!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
9– The start of something
Pretty lady, pretty lady,
What do you do?
So sweet and enchanting,
We should dance a Pas De Deux
You glow in a moonlight
That I’m too cursed to see
And yet how I long
To keep you near me...
Poor angel with nowhere to fly,
Precious pearl that cannot cry...
Maybe once tangled in my web
You will stop longing for the sky.
7-11th September
The first week after the extermination had been the closest thing to relax that she had experienced in eons. Zestial’s concoction had left her feeling heavy and boneless after a bit, and then absolutely sore the day after, an she had barely made it home before collapsing on the couch... she should have known that there had to be a catch, to an eighteen-hour elixir of energy, and she was quite sure that Zestial had, in fact, warned her, but their whole conversation was misty in her memory... not that it did really matter, in the end: she had managed long enough to do what she wanted to, and now she had, finally, some time to rest.
The first two days, she had slept without even registering the passing of time. It would have probably gone on longer, hadn’t hunger raised its ugly head. Carmilla had pacified it with what she had laying around – some crackers, and a cup of noodles – and then gone back to sleep for another day.
The fourth, she started feeling lucid again– and therefore, to worry. Where the hell was Pica? Had she even survived the cleanse?
Mikael had sent her some messages to update her about Luckas’ situation – and his ringtone, put at the highest volume, had basically been her alarm; Marcus had texted to ask if she was had made it home safe (and received a very late reply), even Rif had made himself known to assure her that at K.N.I.F.E. they were all still alive... the only radio silence was from her roommate.
Now, Carmilla knew that the possibilities were endless – broken phone, dead battery, more time needed to commute back home, since she had left a whole week prior the extermination – but she couldn’t stop assuming the worse. And since worrying wouldn’t help anybody, she started coming up with her own plan... or at least, she tried.
Coffee on the stove, map in hand, Carmilla had a lot to sort out, for herself and her... friend. Point was: from where to start?
Pica had obviously not wanted her to interfere, and the pride ring was enormous, too much for her to trace down someone on her own with zero hints... maybe she could ask Zestial if he could help them?
She scratched the idea as soon as it formed in her head. Pica hated Overlords, getting one involved would be the worst thing she could do... and even if it hadn’t been the case, she had to be careful not to fall in his debt. No need to act rashly without knowing what – if anything – had happened to her. Asking Rif if he had any insight on the situation could be a wiser move for now.
Carmilla sighed, starting to type the message... hopefully, Rif wouldn’t leave her hanging too long.
“Good afternoon, sir. Sorry for bothering you, but Pica hasn’t come back home yet and I’m starting to get worried, it’s been four days since the extermination... she won’t even answer my texts and calls, so I wanted to go looking for her, to make sure she’s okay... I was hoping that you would be able to give me some ideas from where to start”
“Don’t go.
Pica likes to be alone after the extermination.
Will be back in town by the end of the week, probably. Let her do her things.
She will get mad if you go get her sooner. She’s fine. She does this every few months, all is good.
Get her some painkillers if you really want to do something for her, she’ll need those.
Have a good day. Rest a bit.
And don’t text the others, they think you’re with Pica. See you by the 21st”
Of course, the first person she genuinely liked in hell, and it had to be a loose cannon with the habit of going MIA at least twice a year. Carmilla wholeheartedly hoped that her anxiety was unfounded as Rif said...
Wait.
“Have you told the others that I was with Pica while I told Pica I was with you???”
“Poor planning. But don’t worry, it will be fine as long as we don’t mention it.”
An headache started pulling at her nerves. This would definitely not be fine... but at this point, there wasn’t much she could do to change the story, and it was on her... she shouldn’t have trusted someone else to come up with an excuse for her.
Left with no ulterior “damage control” to do, Carmilla’s focus had been free to fall back on her own projects and feelings... and that was a tricky territory.
She had managed to collect thirty pieces of angelic steel – mostly from where they had been pierced with the intent of them causing more damage after the allotted time that the exterminators had, but many from bodies as well. It hadn’t been easy to stomach, but she had still tried to.
Once she had left the safe distance that the roofs offered, Carmilla found herself in the land of nightmares, and now without any urgency or adrenaline to act as a buffer. Reality was at her fingertips, and she had to look at it, touch it, feel it on her skin and process it.
It was nauseating.
The corpses of those killed by an angelic blade were almost all disfigured beyond recognition – melted bones and liquefied flesh, the teeth falling off the jaw as the eyes grew swollen... the stench was even worse, as if the carcasses had been left to rot in the streets for days instead of mere hours. It was... depressing to witness.
A body in particular had caught her attention. Despite the forsaken weapon still in it, and the rotting already spreading through the flesh, it still looked ethereal... an uncanny beauty, out of place in the horror.
It belonged to a young woman, with vibrant purplish hair and bluish skin. She had been stabbed in the back, her lungs pierced by an angelic spear... Carmilla couldn’t know how long she had been in hell, but it was clear that she couldn’t have been more than twenty at the time of her first death, her face still chubby and somewhat naive under the cascade of hair.
Carmilla kneelt at her side, caressing the strands away from her cheeks. “I’m sorry” she whispered, a last act of kindness to this poor soul that was now lost forever “you didn’t deserve this. I hope you’re in a better place...”
Maybe these words were empty, given how they were already in the underworld, but she still somehow believed them. It was easier than accepting the nothingness
《What are you doing? 》a masculine voice, shaky with anger, startled her.
She turned, guard high once again, but her hands raised in platitude... no need to fill this day with more violence
《I collect steel. There’s plenty, no need to fight over it. 》
A man, in his twenties or thirties, his face haunted like a graveyard. He kept staring, but it was almost as if he didn’t see her, his eyes fixed on something farther away
《Move 》he intimated then
《I said— 》she tried again, but to no avail
《I SAID MOVE 》 he screamed, and it was so raw and desperate that Carmilla actually moved.
She didn’t know what was going on, but this was not about territories or steel... that was the sound of an animal that hauls at the sky, the kind of agony that comes from a fate worse than death itself... and she wasn’t so foolish to stand in its way.
She moved to the side, and he approached the young girl’s body
《That’s my wife》 he murmured then, now white as a ghost 《What have you done to my wife? 》
Realisation draw upon her, and her heart ached for those poor souls– the one gone and the one forced to stay
《I’m sorry. 》she said again, this time out loud 《the exterminators got her 》
Another scream left him, desperate and nonsensical, as he went to throw himself on the body... but Carmilla was faster, and grabbed him before he could end up impaled as well
《Take your hands off of me! 》he fought back, trying to shake her off, kicking and biting as he cried, but she kept holding him, dragging him to safety despite his anger
《You will die as well if you act rashly! The spear is still inside her! 》She tried to reason, but reason wasn’t the answer
《I don’t care! Let me go! 》
《Don’t be stupid, do you think this is what she would have wanted? 》
At that, he froze. He was no longer fighting, and turned to her, completely lost
《One last time... 》 he pleaded《... I need to hold her one last time... please... 》
She understood. When her mother had died, her only comfort had been holding her hand in hers until she had been taken away... and now she shared his pain, felt it in her bones. There had to be a way to help him.
《Maybe I can help with that. But I need you to stay here and not put yourself in danger, okay? Let me work. 》
He nodded, mostly spaced out, and she sat him on the side, keeping her hands on his shoulders until she felt him going slack, then she approached the corpse slowly, as if the poor girl could still get startled by sudden movements.
Carmilla extracted the spear with great care, almost tenderly, and poured a bit of unholy water on the wound... it wouldn’t save her, but maybe it could keep her body from rotting further. Give that poor man time to mourn his beloved.
She used some bandages to wrap her torso – the illusion of hope as the girl grew colder and stiffer each minute. Now that the body was on its back, the eyes were well visible – wide open and blue like the deepest ocean, and at the same time shallow with emptiness. Death could be poetic, beautiful, heroic... but there on the ruined street, it was just senseless and dull.
Carmilla picked up the sad remains as if they were a baby to cradle, and offered them to the man, who sat there with a gaze empty if not for its tears
《Thank you, for trusting me with her 》she said, her voice soft 《now you can take her home and put her to rest properly... giving her a grave will give you some peace 》
His eyes met hers, and then fell on the girl. He took the body and held it to his chest, wailing, sobbing, tears falling from his cheeks to hers, mutual grief for the mutual lost.
He kissed her forehead, caressed her hair
《Sunshine... 》 he kept calling《my Sunshine... 》
They stayed like that for an endless hour, but Carmilla didn’t have it in her to just leave them like that... two ghosts in mourning, that needed that last embrace before parting. And so she waited, a guardian to their pain.
When the man finally calmed down, and raised as to leave, she felt a weight lift from her shoulders, like a guard almost ready to dismount.
He turned to her, still overwhelmed but now somewhat cold... at least so was his voice, heavy and stern
《You have plans for those spears, right? 》he asked, hinting at the small pile she had with her, and she nodded
《I do... do you want to keep this one? 》
If he want the spear that had killed his wife, he could have it. She hoped he wouldn’t kill himself with it once alone, but with all the discarded ones laying around her refusal wouldn’t make a difference...
She wouldn’t deny him something that could give him comfort in the vague hope of protecting him... but he shook his head, and asked for something different and completely unexpected.
《The spear that took away my Sunshine... promise me that you will find a way of throwing it back to the sky. Please》he begged, and it sounded like a prayer
Carmilla was stunned. That wasn’t something she could do. That wasn’t something she could dare... but how could she refuse?
And so, she promised anyway.
After that, the rest of her time had passed in an haze... more weapons, more corpses, more gut wrenching horror. Giving to each body she touched the same respect she had given to the girl’s would have been unmanageable... but she had tried, removing the spears and closing their eyes, gifting them as much dignity as possible. Maybe it had been wasted time, and the cannibals would soon eat the unclaimed corpses either way, but she had never been one to give up just because something seemed pointless, and didn’t regret it. She had to do what she deemed fair, and stay loyal to the few principles she had, no matter where this afterlife would take her.
12th September
Zestial, in his own house, had a lot to keep himself busy as well... but his mind wouldn’t stop drifting away, to something – someone – that kept evading him.
If he turned the pages of his books, it was the softness of her curls that his fingers searched for, and if he spent any time in his laboratory, all he could think of were her tired eyes and soft voice... and of how he wanted to hold her for real, hold her a little longer, until she was well again.
The few hours he had managed to spend near Carmilla after the extermination hadn’t been enough to quiet the longing in his soul, not by a long stretch... if anything, that phantom of closeness had made him hungrier, and now it was taking him all his willpower not to just go and check on her unannounced; he knew she deserved at least a week of peace and quiet, but hadn’t his connection to the little white spider reassured him of her safety, he would have lost it in less than a day. It wasn’t like him, to be so impatient, but out of character feelings were becoming the new norm, when Carmilla was involved.
She could make him spend hours on a couch waiting for a subordinate to regain consciousness, and act reassuringly even with those who had messed up... she could make him give his own blood without asking, just to spare her a new cut... and feel shame, and something akin to empathy, and a blind rage toward those who had hurt her. Carmilla, with her fierceness, with her intelligence, with her proud independence made him want to protect her. Give her the safety she seemed to have enjoyed so little.
Zestial sighed... that woman would drive him a new kind of insane, and he was looking forward to it.
Figuring out what to do with the steel she had hidden all over the city was not easy in the slightest. After checking, she had confirmed that it was indeed still where she had put it (not that she held many doubts... lord Zestial’s spiders seemed to know every crack and secret of the Pride Ring, and their nests were terrifying enough to dissuade anyone from prying nearby) but this didn’t mean she had any idea on what to do.
The first step would probably be figuring out what was the “material” base of the spears – what kind of metal, or league had been used for them – and then how that steel was gifted angelic properties... were they just normal weapons that got blessed? Or was everything made in heaven automatically “holy”? There were also other questions to answer to, like what would they do to a living soul, or to hell-born... would there be a way to get sinners “immunised”, at least a bit? What did she even want to obtain? Weapons to protect herself, or a cure? Was she trying to get a profit out of this or was it all for curiosity’s sake? Probably not, given that she would have to cover the costs of her experiments someway... still, it wasn’t something she could entrust anyone with, if successful her little stunt could land her in deep troubles...
Carmilla shook away the thought: worrying before she knew what she was even doing would be a waste of energy. And considering that at the moment she didn’t even have a bedroom, let alone a laboratory, maybe a good, safe start would be finding an apartment. She couldn’t live on Pica’s couch forever, the other girl had been clear about not wanting a permanent roommate... and she would be back to complain about it. Pica was witty and fast, she wasn’t a novice, and this extermination was nothing new to her... she had surely survived, and would be back. Carmilla believed in her, and so had to act accordingly.
Given that her host had to be fine and on her way back, she was left with the question: how does one find a reasonable apartment in hell?
14th September
She hadn’t gone far in her research for an house – after spending a couple of days looking around, she had figured out that right post extermination there was a bit too much chaos to accomplish anything – for landlords, it was simpler to wait a couple of weeks than having to go through the whole process of emptying and cleaning a room whose renter could still actually be alive... of course, there wasn’t a lack of malevolent landlords in hell of all places, but Carmilla preferred to spare herself that particular drama. And she would be given all her pay in a week or so anyway... it wasn’t the end of the world if she took a bit longer to figure out what she wanted, for once. It was a rare instance.
Roommates were out of the question- for her privacy and their safety – so she would have to shoulder the rent on her own. She could do with little space, but she would probably need a room that she could lock and isolate, to use as a laboratory... it would be better if it had its own sink, but that maybe was asking too much. How high would need to be the temperature she would have to work with? She couldn’t bake angelic steel and her dinner in the same oven... probably. Maybe renting a laboratory would be the easier route, but then she would need some security for it – even if just to stop random idiots from accidentally offing themselves permanently – and that would be an expense she was not ready to face. If she went to live there as well, maybe...
She was lost in such pondering and reasoning, when something hit the apartment's door with a big thud.
Carmilla raised to check, gun in hand, but lowered it almost immediately after hearing Pica’s voice
《Carmilla? 》she slurred, to the point that it was barely recognizable 《you home? I lost my fucking keys 》
《Pica! 》she exclaimed, in a mix of happiness and tension, hurrying to open the door《What happened to you? 》
《Everything 》
Was the soulless reply.
She looked her friend over with mild alarm. The poor thing was a mess, her backpack was missing, her clothes were stained and torn... she was standing, but barely, and the stench of alcohol that surrounded her didn’t do anything to reassure; Carmilla didn’ waste time in hypothesis, but grabbed Pica under the arms to support her better and dragged her inside, before locking the door again and helping her to the couch
《 Here, sit down a bit... I’ll get you some water, you’re safe now 》
《Is someone following you? 》 she asked, after having helped the other take a few sips from the bottle. Her eyes were inflamed, her lips chapped, and overall she barely sounded like her friend... Carmilla was worried, but it wasn’t the first time she witnessed something like this《Did... did you use any substances? Drugs? I need to know to help you, I’m not judging 》
Pica didn’t answer her question, instead muttering something before digging her face in the pillow and starting crying again, shaky breaths wreaking her lithe body, almost like convulsions
《Pica... 》she tried again, tracing small circles on her back in an attempt to soothe. The woman turned to look at her, heartbroken but somehow lucid
《I lost him. I lost him again. 》
《I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. The... exterminators? 》
《No. We survived that. It’s... it’s the same thing every year. We are together again, then I lose him. I can’t do this anymore, but I cannot die, or who will take care of him? He’s my băobèi, I love him... 》
Carmilla didn’t speak any Chinese, but some words transcended languages. She bended over her friend in a weird hug, a bit stiff but still full of care
《I’m still sorry, we will figure it out... I’m here now, okay? I’m here... 》
She kept talking until, shortly after, Pica passed out.
17th September
After Pica’s return, all planning and activities had been put on hold. Carmilla had spent all her time caring for her and calling the hospital to try and find a solution to their predicament – after a long negotiation with the neighbours to borrow their phone book... what they thought she would steal it for, she had no clue and was in no mood to investigate.
Pica was seriously ill – convulsions, vomiting, trembling, overheating and then cold sweat – and in more than one instance Carmilla feared the worst would happen... the fact that her friend wouldn’t actually, permanently die was of some solace, but it didn’t mean the experience wouldn’t be scarring for the both of them. Also, she was still getting used to the idea, hadn’t seen anyone regenerate yet, and the concept of death still hit hard... to be completely honest, she still needed to make peace with the fact that she herself had now been dead for basically a month, and getting hit with everything at once wasn’t easy to deal with... she could postpone her grief not to jeopardise the present, but under the surface she knew she wasn’t exactly doing well.
Things hadn’t been made easier by any of her new colleagues or acquaintances – between the guys and the girls, her cell phone had never stopped buzzing, and she had found herself trapped in the crossfire of well-intended questions... between all the excuses she had been forced to come up with, all the calls and Pica’s sickness, she was at her wit’s end. She had almost hoped to have reached rock bottom for the week, when, on Wednesday, lord Zestial started contacting her as well. Marvellous.
At the very least, that particular nuisance had been funny – a giant spider had crawled through her window with an ancient looking phone tied to its back with some sort of web, and a note tied to one of its many legs... the spectacle had been so absurd that she had genuinely laughed, and almost forgiven how creepy it was that Zestial knew her address without needing to ask... but she guessed that for an Overlord as powerful as him, such things had to be easy. Another worry unlocked, but she would focus on the bright side for the moment: it had been absolutely hilarious and Pica hadn’t been awake to see it happen and bust her. Everything was still under control.
She had barely gotten the time of freeing the little messager of its cargo, that the phone started ringing. Afraid that the noise would catch others’ attention, she picked up immediately
《Hello... 》
《Miss Carmine, what a pleasure! 》 Zestial’s voicec was vibrant through the interphone, and a bit loud, like he was unused to communicate in such a fashion. Had he gone through the whole trouble just to talk with her? It couldn’t be 《 I apologise for the inconvenience, yet it has been ten days since we last spoke and thou hadn’t contacted me yet to discuss the conclusion of the operation, or updating me about thine health... please, doth tell me how thou hast been. 》
《I’m okay 》she sighed, tired 《Sorry... I have a lot on my hands right now. 》
《Is something the matter? 》he asked, in a tone that she couldn’t exactly pinpoint
《No, just... could this meeting wait a week or so? I really don’t think I’ll be able to leave the house sooner than that... maybe I could write a formal report? 》
There was a pause. Then he spoke again, gentle yet firm
《That won’t be necessary, if thou’re unable to leave, then I shall come to see thee instead. Doth not worry, I doth not mind the change of scenery 》
《What? No, wait— ! 》
He didn’t give her time to protest. Fuck.
Barging into someone house was ungentlemanly-like, and that was not up for debate... unless you were worried about that someone’s wellbeing, right? There had to be reasonable exceptions to all rules, after all.
The little spider had kept bombarding him with signals of distress for days now; Zestial had managed to talk to Carmilla over the phone in hope to soothe his nerves, but her voice, rough and drained, had been the final straw...
If she wouldn’t tell him what was wrong, then he would have to go and check for himself.
《What? No, wait— ! 》Carmilla was alarmed.
What the hell did he think he was doing? Was that some sort of intimidation tactic? Oh, but she would show him—
《Thou doth not seem injured, that’s a relief 》
《¡DIOS! 》
She let out a small scream as he materialised right between her back and the wall, causing her to startle and almost fumble to the ground.
He grabbed her immediately, stopping her fall, and bringing her body closer to his
《Careful! We doth not want for thee to get hurt now, doth we? 》he asked, his hands already turning her face right and left to check for bruises or cuts.
She tolerated it briefly, before pushing them away, still quite irritated
《Then don’t ambush me like that! 》
《That was quite impolite of me, I shall admit so. Yet I hope thou shall forgive me; I was simply eager to check on thee 》he assured.
She sighed, looking elsewhere
《Well, thank you for your concern, now please go away... I’m sorry, it’s not a good time 》
《I still need— 》
They got interrupted by the sound of steps... It had already been too lucky that Pica had stayed asleep up to this point
《What was that noise? 》asked the other woman from behind the door, trying to open it
《Nothing! I just... saw a spider! 》
If Zestial found her excuse offensive or anything, he better keep it to himself, given how close they were to get busted. Carmilla thought quickly, then grabbed him by the arm and pushed him into the bathroom, just in time before Pica came out.
She forced a smile
《See? Nothing out of place, you should lay down a bit longer, I was going to take a shower anyway... 》
He heard the two women talk for a few minutes – the stranger mostly uttering complete nonsense – before Carmilla joined him in their improvised meeting spot. It was cramped, and the ceiling barely high enough for him, so he had decided to evoke himself a chair to be more comfortable.
Before Carmilla’s disgruntled expression, he couldn’t refrain to tease her a bit
《So, a spider? 》
She gave him a death glare that made something flutter in his chest
《Shut up, it’s the fastest thing it came to mind 》
《I’m flattered 》
《Of course you are 》she sighed, shaking her head, a slight smile pulling at her lips... but she still looked tired.
《Thine roommate sounded unwell. And thou seem exhausted 》he dared to note.
Wrong move.
《That’s none of your concern. 》 She snapped, going rigid again《Why are you still here anyway? 》
《Could we speak in a slightly more appropriate environment? Thine room, perhaps? 》
She shook her head again, leaning against the sink
《That was my room, and as you see, it’s not available, now please let’s cut this short 》
《I... understand. 》he simply said, sparing them both from an awkward discussion about her living arrangements 《Apologies for intruding, yet thou kept avoiding me and being vague about the reason, so I grew worried. 》
《Well, you have seen I’m fine, now please leave before Pi— my roommate sees you 》
《Art thou worried the sight of me shall scare her too much? 》he tried to joke, not to put her on the spot, but he was aware it could very well be the real reason.
She followed suit, probably tired of the tension as well
《More that she will pull my neck like a chicken if she finds out I have been working with you. Screw it, she might try to pull your neck as well if she sees you in her house 》
《I highly doubt she possesses the abilities to doth so. We art both skilled in combat. And she didn’t appear particularly threatening 》
《She isn’t very...lucid, at the moment. Usually she’s full of wit. 》at that, she looked slightly mortified
《Drowning sorrows in alcohol will doth that to anyone. 》he commented, off-handily. To him it had been so obvious that he hadn’t even thought about the weight of his words.
Carmilla wasnot impressed.
《I’d appreciate if you didn’t throw shades at my friend. She had a rough extermination. 》
He... hadn’t exactly intended to throw shades, only to make her feel a bit better; it had been a while since he last tried.
《Mine apologies, I forgot mine self and spoke too harshly. 》
《Apologies accepted. 》she conceded, tending her ears in search of any abnormal movement.
He decided to try and go back on track.
《I wanted to tell thee that I have selected some topics that I’m certain shall be of thine interest, and we may start going over them, if thou art amenable 》
《About that... I’m afraid I’ll have my hands full for a while, I don’t think I’ll be able to leave the house anytime soon. Would it be a problem if we adjourned ourselves in a month or so? 》
《Miss Carmine, I’m more than willing to wait until thine schedule clears, yet I must inquire: why is thine roommate's state thine problem? With all due respect, she must have done this to herself. 》
《She’s my friend. I can’t just leave her while she goes through a mental breakdown, she needs me. 》
Her willingness to put herself last was something he couldn’t understand or approve of... it made her vulnerable, and that wouldn’t end well.
The fact that he was also moved and awe-stuck, meant absolutely nothing.
《And how long doth thou plan to allow her needs to overshadow thine own? 》he pressed
《I don’t know what you’re talking about, my needs are being perfectly met. 》she disagreed, pushing back her messy hair.
She was still beautiful, absurdly so, but that couldn’t change that she almost looked sick herself. If he wanted something done about it, he would have to do it himself.
《May I visit thine friend, once she falls asleep? 》 He offered《If her state of inebriation is chronic, or if she took some of the long lasting substances that this realm has to offer, it might require something stronger than common medicine to accelerate her healing 》
《Absolutely not! And don’t even think about slithering in! 》
Carmilla looked at him like he had just suggested a beheading
《Why not? I shall be quiet, and she never the wiser 》
《This doesn’t change that it would be messed up! 》 she stressed, trying to get her point across《She doesn’t like Overlords, letting one see her while she’s at her worst would be a major break of trust! 》
《Doth thou think that maintaining her dignity is more important than getting her help? 》
《I am getting her help. 》
《Clearly not the help she needs 》
Wrong move.
Thank Lucifer she didn’t practice witchcraft or he would be bleeding by now
《Please, leave. 》
《Apologies, apologies! 》 He tried to placate《hast someone ever told thee that thou art an extremely fiery creature, dear Carmilla? 》
《No, but they told me I’m an hothead 》
《That’s reductive. 》 he smiled, before turning serious again《Listen, I really mean no offence, yet I’m not used to tiptoe around such topics not to hurt others’ feelings. Thou may accuse me to be extremely un-empathetic toward souls I doth not care about, and I shall accept it, yet this does not change that reason is on mine side. Thou art not a poisons’ expert, or an hellish drugs’ one, what even is thine plan to help her? 》
《I’m calling the hospital every twenty minutes. 》she had managed to get from Pica the name of what she had taken – Pink Cocaine Constant Party – but he was right, she had no idea of how to treat it... that’s why she had tried to find medical help.
《Art they picking up? 》
《Not really, their advice was to let her overdose and regenerate 》she admitted, an hint of rage under the calm mask
《I imagined that much. They won’t help thee. 》
She looked up at him
《And why should I trust you to? You just admitted you don’t care about her! 》
《Yet, I doth care about thine well-being. Thine friend’s situation is distracting thee from bigger goals, not to mention that I doth not enjoy seeing thee in distress, and the cleanest solution for me is helping fix things as fast as possible. As simple as that. 》
《Just to be clear... you basically see my friend’s breakdown over something that is clearly eating her inside as a minor inconvenience that you want fixed so you can... meet the terms of our agreement faster? 》
《No, not at all, I wish to see thee well and thine mind engaged in more pleasant endeavour, I’m in no hurry to cease our cooperation, on the contrary, thou hast made quite the impression and I wish to keep thee near. 》
《So, this is only about what you want? 》
It seemed that she was unable to wrap her head around it. He didn’t blame her: such investment in others’ affairs was quite out of his character... at least, given the circumstances. Well, too late to go back.
《I doth not see how this shall affect things. Thine friend shall receive help either way. 》
《And what do you want in exchange? 》she insisted
《Naught at all. 》
《I don’t trust your terms. 》
Of course. Smart people came with their whole set of doubts.
《Then, that thou agree to discuss more business with me, once things settle. 》 he offered then《This shall not bound thee to accept anything – or doth anything. Simply a promise that a day of our mutual choice, before the coming of the new year yet preferably within the month, thou shall sit with me and listen to a few proposals of mine. What doth thou think? 》
《My soul is off the table 》
He was glad she kept stating that. In hell, it was the safest way to avoid being stuck in a deal... but he still needed to teach her better. All in due time.
《That goes without saying, miss Carmine. 》
《Only a meeting to talk business, no obligation to do anything? 》
《I promise on mine honour. 》
《And this isn’t a complicated plot to hurt my friend? 》she asked
《What would I gain from it? Only thine disdain 》was his reasoning.
She finally seemed convinced
《You’re something, you know? 》
《We have that in common, I dare say. So, doth we have an agreement? 》
He offered her his hand
《You still can’t see or touch my friend. 》
《I shall doth what I can with the information that thou provides. Is that acceptable? 》
She looked at his palm, for a moment, before agreeing
《Okay, you got yourself a deal 》
When they touched, they both still felt electricity go down their spines, just like the first time
19th back to work, pov from 23rd September
Carmilla hated having to admit it, but Zestial’s help had been a literal turning point. And a lifesaver. A saving grace, so to say, and she couldn’t stress enough how much she hated the notion. Receiving help was already bad, but receiving help from someone so much higher on the social scale from her was even worse.
Probably, her irritation was aggravated by how kind he had been about it. Once in business mode, they had fallen in a perfect rhythm, she reporting all she knew – symptoms, name of the drug, what medicines she had already tried – and he listening and taking notes and going back and forth to bring her a book or the other. He had been useful, and patient, and given her names of good apothecaries that could prepare the right concoction for her, so she wouldn’t have to come up with more lies or blindly trust him again... hadn’t Rif put her on that awkward spot, she would have gone to April, but the damage was done.
Truth was: the second week after the extermination had been an absolute mess, and he had been the one who had helped her manage the most, and she didn’t know how to cope with it. She had been so mistrustful, so tense, and yet he hadn’t left her on her own... and now Pica was better, stuck at home with what appeared all in all an ugly cold, but definitely stable and on her way to recover... she was relieved, but also worried.
What could someone like Zestial ever want from her? He could afford more experienced hitmen, he had the loyalty of his souls – even if unwillingly given– and he was more than intelligent enough to come up with his own plans... he also seemed to have plenty of free time, if his willingness to help her without having to rearrange his schedule was anything to go by, so really, she had nothing to offer that could warn such... warmth, from an Overlord. It agitated her.
At the very least, he didn’t seem interested in taking advantage of her position either, and that was a relief. Not being assaulted on the job was always nice... and he had gone out of his way to reassure her and make her feel safe when alone with him. No groping when she had fallen asleep, no comments on her body when he patched her up, no hint of physical violence... given how many chances he had got to try something and didn’t, under that aspect she couldn’t help but deem him trustworthy. And if he had some human decency, then what stopped him from also having some genuine kindness inside? Maybe he really was just interested in working with her, and this wasn’t all a trick to steal her soul.
Carmilla sighed. Was she being stupid? She always tried to form her own opinion... but now she was a bit afraid that, if she stopped repeating herself all the warnings she had been given against him, she would end up liking Zestial more than it was safe to. He was... charming, in his own way. Had the ability of dominating the room without making her feel small, his personality was intriguing, a dark night all to explore, his company a crazy adventure that seemed to call for her, and she felt hypnotised by the green of his orbs, unmoving and still so focused...
That, was the kind of thoughts that would land her in big troubles.
She really hoped she wasn’t getting herself in debt with someone so much more powerful than her… polite or not, giving Lord Zestial that kind of power over her would be an huge mistake. That’s why she threw herself in her work with even more ferocity. Relying on only one person for her income would be naive, especially if that person could afford to replace her on a whim... she needed to prove Rif how much she could bring to the table on her own, even when Zestial wasn’t involved.
There wasn’t a weapon that escaped her fixing, no dried blood thar survived her cleaning, no paperwork safe from her sorting out... all in between jobs. Rif seemed hesitant to send her on too many solo missions, so she was mostly stuck with trivial matters, and it left her frustrated but god, would she pour her soul into them anyway. She was a fury that could not be avoided, to the amusement and bewilderment of her colleagues
《Milla, take a break, this place is fucking immaculate 》scolded Janice, from her safe spot on top of her desk
《Yeah, this floor is cleaner than my kitchen, scrub it some more and you’ll dig an hole in someone’s ceiling 》agreed John, between the jokingly and the terrified, trying to keep his dirty booths away from her clutches
《I’m not done yet. 》was, once again, Carmilla’s reply
《Will you ever be? It’s been hours. 》
Martha complained, while April, busy reorganising her own inventory as well, was enjoying the whole ordeal
《Shhh, let her do her thing, I like the idea of some hygiene 》
John turned to her
《Why with you is everything always so extra? Can’t you be a bit mediocre like everyone else? At least post an apocalypse? 》
《If I got a job to do, I’ll do it as god commands, otherwise what’s the point? 》 Carmilla replied, absentmindedly. The work day would be over in an hour or so, and she was quite tired.
One could have heard a pin hitting the floor
《Ohhh 》
《The fuck 》
《Are you crazy??? 》
Her colleagues’ reaction left her quite confused
《What did I do now? 》
《Don’t say that! 》
《What? 》
《The... “g” word. 》
《... God? 》
《Yes. 》 hurried to explain Janice《this is hell. Those commands don’t bring anything nice down here. 》
Carmilla wasn’t sure that putting a taboo on the name would improve anything, but being in Rome it was better to do like the Romans... she had higher hills to die on.
《Makes sense. I apologise. 》 she conceded, and they relaxed
《It’s alright. You’re still fresh, but you should be more careful: a word out of place in front ow the wrong crowd and you will be out of service for two weeks straight 》
《I’ll keep that in mind, thank you. 》
There were... so many new things she still needed to get used to.
Martha sighed
《Do you… do you plan to join us for a drink or will you stay here all night? Our favourite pub reopened and we wanna go check if all the staff survived. 》
《That sounds like fun… but I can’t. Pica is home waiting for me, we were planning on ordering a pizza and watch a movie 》
《So, Rif was right, you two are— 》Martha was interrupted by Janice, that pulled her in quite the rough side hug and exclaimed, a bit awkwardly:
《Getting along nicely! That’s swell, Pica is always so grumpy. Enjoy your evening, maybe you two can join us next time! 》
Carmilla looked at them. Why were they acting so weirdly, now? They hung out with Pica quite often, from what she had gathered, it couldn’t be that surprising that the other woman was capable of making friends... she would need to look into it. But tonight she didn’t have the time... she had to hurry home. Pica was doing much better, at least physically, but she didn’t trust her to be alone for a whole evening – not yet, at least – but her worries were not something for others to see.
《Sure thing. Thank you, Janice. 》
She smiled politely, and no one commented further.
《Fuck off 》Pica growled, hiding her face into her locks a bit better.
Her new friend apparently had the habit of growing her hair and hiding inside it as if it was a cocoon, giving the impression of a giant pink butterfly every time she was awoken and forced to come e out. It was a mix between cute and cool that never disappointed... it reminded Carmilla of a swaddled baby, not that she would dare telling that to the other while she was in such a sour mood.
Still, the sleepy “fuck off” that followed every wake up call had become part of their routine, it was familiar, and it didn’t bother Carmilla at all. The roughness was safe territory, for her
《How are you feeling? 》she asked to the curled up woman, shaking her gemtly.
《Like shit. 》the other finally conceded, sitting up with an huff.
《Understandable. I got us some pizza, maybe it will help 》
《Are you gonna actually eat it, or will you just stare at it while I devour the whole box? 》asked Pika, and sounded almost concerned.
Carmilla shrugged
《Stare, probably. But it’s fine, I’m not hungry. 》
《Is it about money? I cam afford my own food, you don’t need to go on strike. 》
《No, don’t worry, I got paid for some jobs and side gigs, I got cash right now… I’m just not in the mood for food. 》reassured Carmilla, only to earn an unconvinced glare
《If you say so. 》
《I do. In fact, I need some more clothes: what do you think about a trip to the mall, when you feel better? You can help me pick up stuff. 》
Her original plan had been to just go and grab some proper formal clothes for the business lunch that she and Zestial had planned for the next week, but she could involve Pica and make a day of it. She probably needed a bigger wardrobe anyway, with how much dirt clung to her during jobs... during the winter, everything would take much longer to dry, and it would be better to prepare ahead.
Pica seemed to like the idea as well
《I guess I must. Left to your own device you would probably end up buying the plainest, most boring things ever. 》
《Hey! Are you saying I got bad taste? 》protested Carmilla, in mock offence.
Pica scoffed
《You got excellent taste – you can see that I’m the coolest. But you’re too sensible to let yourself explore, and that’s a pity and honestly quite sad. 》
There was a moment of silence
《… this go a bit deep. 》
《Yeah, sucks when it happens. Pass me a plate and put on the movie. 》 agreed Pica, grabbing a slice 《we can go on Thursday. Saves us the weekend crowd. 》
《Are you sure it’s not too soon? 》
《I need a distraction. Or I do something, or I do coke. 》
Carmilla took those words to heart.
That was the first time Pica addressed what had happened and, even if she wasn’t ready to talk about it properly, Carmilla wouldn’t ignore her way of asking for help.
24th September
The meeting had been small and quite informal, only between her, Lauren and Marcus, and it had been called only to coordinate the retrieving of the traps that they hadn’t used, for the next time, and to stop others from figuring out their strategy... so she was caught a bit off guard when the latter had asked her out as soon as they were left alone
《So, what do you say? We can go somewhere quiet, get a beer –:or some wine, you look like you could like wine more – and enjoy the evening. Get to know each other better... tomorrow at eight? It will be fun. 》
《Tomorrow I have plans with a friend, and next week I have a meeting... maybe at a later time? 》she stalled.
It was always awkward, to refuse a date, but she had to... she had way too much going on.
Marcus eyed her with suspicion
《You didn’t even have time to go see Lukas. Is the meeting with lord Zestial? 》
《Maybe 》she avoided answering directly, feeling put on the spot, but he questioned her further
《Are you already working on next year’s plan? 》
《No... we need to discuss other job opportunities 》
《You should be careful... with the attitude you pulled because of Mikael, he could still be pissed. 》he warned, but seemed upset himself, even if he was trying to not let it show.
Against all reason, his words made her feel quite... defensive. Rationally she knew he had his reasons, but the reaction was instinctual.
《Lord Zestial isn’t that unreasonable, he knows I did what had to be done. 》she tried to reason, only irritating him further
《Growing a bit too fond of him, aren’t you? 》he teased, a mean edge in his voice.
She didn’t like that.
《No, I’m not. 》 A deep breath《I’ll make my best to see you all soon, and go visit Lukas, but right now I got a lot on my plate. 》
《It’s okay, I get it... 》 he tried to calm down as well, looking as if he regretted his approach 《... Carmen, believe me, I’m not trying to be a jerk, but you really shouldn’t trust him. It would be your downfall 》
She knew that... or at least, her brain did.
《I know, don’t worry, I’ll be fine. 》
About trusting or not, she could make promises only to herself.
25th September
Going shopping with Pica was an experience. Even with her mostly wild stylistic choices, she had plenty of taste for fancier dresses as well, and it had come in handy when picking an outfit for her business lunch... of course, Carmilla had had to lie, making up an excuse on how she wanted to be ready in case she got a chance to interview for some other kind of job... but the results had been the same, and now she was very proud of her purchase: a beautiful black dress that was still comfortable to move in, and that wouldn’t make her feel out of place in whatever restaurant Zestial had picked for their upcoming meeting. Part of her had initially been annoyed at being put in a position where she was forced to dress up or look like an idiot, but she had soon changed her mind: the fact that she would for once look her best and not barely put together gave her an unexpected boost of confidence... and to be honest, it was fun; she had barely ever indulged herself with something as trivial as new clothes, had never shopped with a friend, and now was having a blast – she had found some gorgeous jeans, a very pretty leather jacket and two pairs of combat boots that absolutely ruled... and Pica was also half encouraging and half forcing her to try on more feminine things, with frills and flowers and bold prints that she quite liked but would have usually been too down to earth to actually consider... but now, she was going nowhere.
She quite liked how the day was going
《Try it on! 》insisted Pica, holding up a pink dress-like shirt, with puffy sleeves, a cherry printed pattern and a tiny bow on the front... it was extremely cute, but the idea of actually wearing it in public made her cringe. And it would clash horrifically with the professional image she was trying to portray
《Pica, it’s pink 》
《And so? Pink is badass 》she said, with a flip of her hair
《I have no doubts about that, but I just can’t pull it off. No one will take me seriously 》Carmilla reasoned, making her friend huff and plop herself down on the small poof on the corner of the changing room
《Milla, for fuck’s sake, we’re dead 》
《You told me that my shirt made me look like a doll! 》
《Yeah, but it was before you proved you could handle yourself just fine! 》she said, rising again and pacing up and down the room《The rules here are simple: if you can kick ass, you can go out in a full princess costume and no one will give you shit. If you can’t, better lay low.》
《And we both can kick ass 》Carmilla concluded
《It’s Big Alfredo’s doctrine, ever heard of it? 》
《But I would still rather live as peacefully as possible 》
《But, this isn’t a princess gown! 》Pica insisted, handing her the shirt anyway
《You got a point. 》 she conceded《It is pretty 》
《Try it on! Worst case scenario, it’s hideous, and you don’t buy it. 》
《Yeah, I guess it won’t hurt 》Carmilla finally relented, disappearing behind the curtain for a few minutes.
Once changed, she looked herself over in the mirror– it was cracked, but it did its job well. The shirt wasn’t as tight as she had feared, and hugged her figure gracefully. It was bright and fun, quite unlike her, but she could picture herself wearing it.
She came out and showed the garment off with a pirouette
《So, what do you think? 》
《It suits you. Gives ballerina vibes. 》approved Pica, satisfied after another good guess.
Carmilla changed back quickly and then threw at her friend a red hoodie that she had added to her pile earlier
《Now it’s your turn! 》
Pica examined it and then threw her a glare
《Pucca? Really? What am I, twelve? 》
《You’ve a lot in common 》she shrugged with an impish smile 《you must try it on! 》
《Carmilla, don’t be racist! I’m Mexican-Chinese, not Korean! 》Pica laughed, feigning offence
《I meant the crazy combat hair! 》 Carmilla joked as well《I never asked how your family ended up in Mexico 》
《My father was Chinese, second generation immigrant, my mother came to live in Mexico City after the wedding. I died in 1964, about them, I don’t know and I don’t care. 》
《I get it. 》 messy families were kind of her thing as well, after all《I was born I 1949. Had I stayed in the city, maybe we would have met. 》
The other nodded, absentmindedly
《You lost your mum young, right? Did you move in with relatives? 》
《Kind of. We were already all living with my uncle... but it was a messy situation. 》
《And your estranged sister? Was she older or younger? 》
《Ten years older, or something like that. She was actually the one who... took care of me for a while, after our mum died. 》
《Was she any good at it? 》
《She tried her best. 》she replied, brief.
Pica had never expressed much interest in her past before, but today, maybe because of the circumstances, maybe because how much time they had ended up spending together while she recovered, she had turned into a river of questions. Normally Carmilla wouldn’t mind too much, but her childhood was a bit of a sensitive topic, and she didn’t like talking about it
《I get that... being the big sister is hard. 》 Pica commented, looking at her hands, lost in her own memories《Did you have other siblings? 》
《No... 》 Carmilla started, but then thought better of it《Well, wanting to be accurate, some sisters, but I never met them... they didn’t survive long after birth, and I was the youngest. 》
《A miracle baby 》
“A cursed one”. Carmilla thought, but kept it to herself.
They needed to change the subject.
《You? 》she asked, to deflect, but Pica turned extremely sad... sorrowful, in a way.
《A younger brother, he was basically my baby. He died before me. 》
That was... something hard to cope with.
《I’m sorry... is he in heaven now? 》
《No. 》
《Oh. 》 she was starting to put some pieces together, but everything was too vague for her to bring up her new theory 《Can I do something to help? 》
《Not really. 》 was the resigned reply《Let’s take a break, I’m tired of this place, and I’m starving. 》
A distraction. Yes, they needed that.
《Okay. I saw an hot dog stand...? 》she offered, starting to fold the clothes she had decided to buy
《Nice 》agreed Pica, helping her to keep her mind busy 《hope they got soda 》
《If they don’t, we can look somewhere else 》
They went on silently for a bit... they had done it, they had changed subject, but Carmilla couldn’t avoid asking one last question, because letting everything to rest like that felt like a shortcut that neither of them needed
《Can I ask what was his name? 》
Pica smiled, but her eyes were bright with tears
《Xīn Yí... because he was supposed to always be free. 》
28th September
When Carmilla finally walked in their boot escorted by a waiter, Zestial scanned her from head to toe, mentally thanking that his lack of pupils would make his admiration less obvious... it still wasn’t the politest thing to do, but he couldn’t help it: she was a delight to look at. When he had told her that he had arranged their business lunch in an high-end restaurant with a dress code, he hadn’t expected the results to be so pleasant.
The dress she was wearing was simple, black with a red belt and mid-calf length, but it was the first time he saw her in a skirt, and the effect of the fabric moving around her legs was mesmerising. Her shoulders and upper arms were covered by a bolero jacket, black as well, but with a few red rhombuses embroidered on the sides of the open front... the hairstyle was simple, a braid pinned to form a bun, but it left her lovely neck completely exposed, and that to him was absolutely a win...
It made her look professional and elegant at the same time, like a panther, or a ballerina before a performance, and that look on her made him feel things on which he didn’t want to reflect just yet... but considering all the stress she seemed to always be under, he should keep in mind to give her plenty of chances for dolling herself up and go to interesting places, in the future. It was the smart thing to do, since he wanted her on his side and he actually liked her company... nothing deeper.
He shook himself from his thoughts, and welcomed her properly.
《I was awaiting for thee. Please, take a seat 》
He gave her his best smile, as she eyed their surroundings with suspicion
《It’s a small table. Will it only be the two of us? 》
《No one else’s presence was required. 》
《Alright.》she conceded, a shadow of discomfort in her voice.
He tried to put her at ease
《Doth not be concerned. I merely desire to discuss thine project. Wine? A cup of tea? 》
《Which one? I’m a busy woman. 》
《Carmilla, Carmilla... thou are quite the resourceful lady, yet the both of us know for a fact that thou art not in a position to cultivate many projects. And it’s a pity, given how even the best ideas could amount to nothingness for a lack of means. 》
She stayed quiet, so he went on. Careful, tiptoeing between tempting and admired
《Thou art skilled with weaponry. More than thou let transpire. Methinks thou art working on something, something that could bring a significant change here in hell... 》he paused, for a more dramatic effect《and I desire to know more. 》
《And if I didn’t want to divulge my ideas with anyone? This place seems to lack policies to ensure intellectual property, after all. 》
《Well, thou see miss Carmine... I have been there for a long time. I’m aware of where my talents reside, and mechanics and inventions don’t doth it for mine self. Stealing thine idea would not give me profitable results. After all...》 he paused, putting down his teacup《...it takes quite the genius to figure out how to work with angelic steel. 》
She didn’t need to ask him how he had figured her plan out – not when he had been the one to answer to most of her questions – but it still bothered her. He had seemed quite unhappy about her intentions... she had hoped she would have more time before he decided to pry into that particular business of hers.
Still, she could try to see if it was only a bluff. No need to make things easier for him.
《What tells you I’m not just planning to resell it? It takes a crazy person to try to work with something so unstable, and as you know I’m an extremely level headed soul 》
At that, he laughed, wholeheartedly and almost carefree, a deep and warm sound that made her shiver... and not completely in an unpleasant way.
He looked at her, his eyes bright with something akin to softness, and she clutched the tablecloth to keep her nerves in check
《Miss Carmine, let us be honest. Thou rarely lose thine composure, yet thine “level headiness” is no more than a facade, thou’re fierce like fire and ambitious as an artist. A passionate soul, if thou concede me the bluntness, one that cares so much about others that won’t hesitate risking angering an Overlord to get her way. Doth not look at me like that: this is no trap, I promise. In earnestness, I admire thine temperament... I find it quite beautiful, and befitting of a lady as incredible as thyself. 》he paused, his gsze never leaving her《Now that pleasantries are out of the way, I have a proposal for thee. I grant thee the tolls and a laboratory to develop thine idea, and in exchange thou will strike a deal with me 》
When she replied, her voice was cutting
《Deals down here are a dangerous thing 》
《So is trying fate without any protection. I got eyes and hears all over the Pride Ring... and in many parts of hell as well. Think at how many advantages an alliance with me could gain thee... it’s the kind of deal that most souls wouldn’t even ever dare dreaming about 》
Carmilla barely refrained herself from glaring at him, her jaw clenched
《Is this a threat or flattery? You make it hard to tell 》
《Plain honesty, mine dear: I doth not usually make such generous offers to common sinners... yet thou’re special, and I’m willing of giving thee the special treatment thou deserve. 》he placated, quite surprised of not finding the slightest lie in his own words... Carmilla was special indeed.
Yet, it seemed to rub her wrong.
《You expect a lot of me 》
《I can recognise a good opportunity when I see it 》
《My soul is off the table. 》Carmilla’s voice was firm. A point on which she wouldn’t bulge.
This seemed to have become their recurring phrase, almost like an inside joke between two old friends, and Zestial almost chuckled, amused. It would probably be nice, to have such a loyal friend, ready to do above and beyond to ensure that he was fine... they could see one another without needing a reason, and spend hours chatting or reading. It wasn’t something he had ever had before. He had never been popular, among his peers, and had learnt to deal with the longing since his earliest days as an human... and yet, Carmilla made he want to risk the disappointment again. It would be well worth it, if there was a chance of them getting closer... What an intriguing creature, pulling out of him such weird thoughts... she was quite the adventure, and he would make sure of keeping her near in a way or the other. And if his conscience pulled at him, warning him not to play tricks on her, he silenced it with the reminder of how exceptionally benevolent the woman in front of him was, too much for her own good. Carmilla was softer than he had planned for her to be... and he had ended up liking that side of her more than it was reasonable to. He needed to reflect a bit more about what was going on exactly... in the meantime, keeping an eye on her would give him peace, and the guide and protection he would offer as an ally would be in her best interest as well, so he had nothing to feel guilty about. It was a win-win situation.
《Then it’s fortunate that I doth not wish for it. All I ask for is thine future alliance and a percentage of the earnings 》
If he was honest to himself, the last part was mostly a formality to him. More allies meant more power, and that was more precious than wealth, in many cases.
《What percentage? 》
《20% until mine investment has been repaid, 10-15% until I have gained a fair sum from it. A smaller percentage shall be agreed upon afterwards, if we decide to continue our cooperation. 》
《Does this percentage take in account the eventual expenses? 》
《Most certainly. It shall be applied to the sum that remains after all the production expenses have been covered, and eventual aids paid. 》
《And if my idea ends up in a flop? I have zero proof that it won’t be one. 》
《Then, thou shall take upon thyself some tasks that I do not wish to entrust to someone less skilled until your debt is repaid. 》
《Like? 》
《Planning for the extermination, as thou already did – without the obligation of patrolling thyself, this time – accompanying me on some missions to conquer or secure new territories, maybe acting as mine representative on some more social occasions, or as a “plus one”, as the youth says... 》 Zestial made a vague gesture with his left hand, the cape attached at his wrist fluttering with the movement. Carmilla tried not to stare too much at the flashes of green. 《I’m not usually in favour of business lunches, too many people involved and rarely anything gets concluded... yet, I must reprimand mineself, I am not behaving as a good host. What would thou enjoy for supper, miss Carmine? This venue offers some meat delicacies. 》
《I’m not hungry, so please proceed according to your tastes. 》 was the hasty reply《Going back on the main topic. If I understand correctly, you’re offering to basically sponsor my project, and in exchange you’ll get a percentage if it succeeds. But if I fail, I’ll have to be your kind of secretary until we’re even. 》
《More like mine aide, yet yes, thine understanding is appropriate 》
Carmilla stared at him like she was trying to pierce into his soul. When she spoke, her words were bold, but not unexpected
《It sounds like a sham. 》
Zestial found it fascinating. How would it be, growing accustomed to such behaviour? He had to find out, or he wouldn’t find peace ever again
He kept his smile hidden behind a serious tone, an arched brow his only demonstration of amusement
《Pray tell, why?》
《Well, first things first. How much are you willing to invest, and how much time do I have to produce results. Profitable ones, especially. Then: what assures me that you won’t inflate my debt or assign a really low monetary value to my labour, so to keep me in debt forever? What interest would you apply to our transactions? If I realise it’s taking me nowhere and I want to stop my research before it lands me in more debt, will I be able to do so? 》
《Thou art asking all the right questions. It’s rather refreshing. 》 usually it came easier to him to feign disinterest, mostly because his interest wasn’t easily piqued... but this time, that was not what he wanted – Carmilla was already trying to keep him at arms length, and that wouldn’t do. She obviously wouldn’t be easily charmed, but some sincere praise couldn’t hurt their blooming alliance 《I’m willing to invest quite the sum, but we can discuss the exact quantity in mine office at a later date. I don’t need to put a firm deadline, yet we shall agree that twenty years with no results could be deemed a reasonable time to label the idea as unfeasible. I’ll keep track of all the expenses with thee, and thou shall be consulted ere any purchase. If I buy something without thine explicit consent, or without notifying thee the price, it shall be considered freely given, and so not to reimburse. Should’st things take the less desirable turn, I assure thee that I shall compensate thine labour accordingly to the market rate... the medium one, not the cheapest. Thou shall have complete intellectual freedom over the project, so its start, hiatuses and end shall be completely up to thine person. 》
《Seems a little too good to be true. What would you expect of me in the meantime?》
《Thine loyalty, first and foremost. And thine undivided professional energy. 》
《So, I should give up my job?》
He leaned a little into his chair, cup again in hand, voice unperturbed
《Thou shall find thine new employment an improvement 》
Well, it was true. He wouldn’t lose her time on tedious maintenance, he would keep things always interesting... and make sure she worked fair hours, didn’t grow overtired, and didn’t skip meals. He would keep her close, and appreciate her as the jewel she was... she might not be convinced yet, but would see it I the end
《I’m not sure about that. Right now, I have direct control on the money I earn and how I spend it, and I can always quit if things go south. There’s no way out of a deal 》
“Oh, yet that’s it, thou shall not desire to find a way out of our partnership”
He kept the darker thoughts to himself and, always the gentleman, reworded his plan to make it sound more appealing
《If I proposed thee to work for me on a salary? I shall retain a percentage, so instead of indebting thyself and then repaying me all at once, thou shall be able to keep the owned sum under control. And, thou shall be able to dispose of the rest of thine income as thou please. 》
《I’m not sure about this. And why do you care so much about striking a deal with me, sir? I’m sure plenty of sinners would agree to your terms with less resistance. 》
《Thou art not wrong. 》he conceded 《Yet, they would not be worthy of mine effort. Haply, thou shall be more inclined to agree after a visit to mine private quarters, we could discuss this further and redact a draft together, seeing ink on paper might let thee seize the potential. 》
《If I agree to this... draft contract, what will happen? Will I be bound to signing it? 》 she asked, feeling silly. She really needed to start diversifying her sources more
《No, yet I shall be bound to notify thee any additions I wish to put. No trickery 》
《Sounds... agreeable. When would you be available to write it down? 》
《Immediately after we have finished dining. Thou may not be hungry, yet I’m positively famished, so I beg thee to indulge me, out of politeness. No good host could eat, with their guest staring at an empty plate. 》
《Very well, as you wish.》 She appeared... discontent, and he couldn’t figure out why. Yet, she started browsing the menu anyway, obligingly 《Is... is this actually rat stew? 》
The look on her face was what the youth would have called “priceless”: a mixture of disbelief, disgust, disheartening and pure unhinged acceptance.
He tried to offer her some solace
《The ars goetia frequent this diner as well. Many of them are... more influenced from their physical forms than us sinners. Yet thou shall find many satisfying options containing no such kinds of meat. 》 at her lost stare, he couldn’t refrain a smile. For the next business lunch, he would pick a more sinners-oriented place 《Haply, for this one instance, thou shall not be opposed if I ordered for thee as well? I’m quite well versed with the names of the different ingredients 》
She put down her menu in defeat
《Yes, thank you. That would be appreciated 》
《Any preferences? 》 He inquired 《Doth not give me such an eye, mine dear. I required thine presence at lunchtime, the least thing I can doth is providing thee a good meal. 》
She narrowed her eyes at what seemed to be becoming a recurring nickname, but let it go with a shrug. The Overlord’s speech pattern was quite peculiar, and it must have been solely a slip of the tongue or something just as inconsequential
《Everything down there tastes wrong. As long it’s edible and there’s no snake or bird feed in it, I will not complain. 》
He grinned, aware that it would be the perfect opportunity for making an impression
《Sounds reasonable. Thou shall not worry, thou art in good hands. 》
●●●
Okay, maybe he had overestimated his ability to choose appetising dishes. Or underestimated how hard it could be for a fresh soul to get used to hell’s flavours. Maybe Carmilla was simply quite picky with her food (something told him that was not the case). It didn’t matter. The only thing that counted was that she didn’t like anything.
Oh, she ate. She ate pretty much everything he had ordered for her with a stubbornness that only the fear of losing face could instil, swallowing each bite as if it tasted like mud.
He had ordered a lot. He rarely ate, but when he did, he went overboard... and today, the desire of impressing his soon-to-be ally had won over his sense of measure. Maybe, the fact that she seemed to keep sacrificing her own health to benefit others had also played a role in all of it, but if that was the case, Zestial didn’t owe explanation to anyone.
Anyway, now he was regretting his choices. The poor dear was turning green, and it was painful to watch... he couldn’t refrain himself anymore, he had to put a stop on that torture.
《Carmilla, thou must not force thyself to eat foods that are not of thine liking, we shall order something else. 》
《I’m fine. Don’t order me anything else, please. I’m just not very hungry, and this is a lot. 》She insisted, giving murderous glares to her plate.
If that mutton hadn’t already been butchered, cooked and served, it would have gladly died all over again
《Then leave it. It shall be of no consequences. 》
《No, it’s a sin to waste food. 》
Her reply was automatic, like she had heard and repeated it thousands of times. She stiffened, when the irony of her words caught up to her. He gave her the mercy of not commenting on it.
《Thou art right. Still, doth not force thyself. Being cruel to oneself is not a virtue either. 》he mentally recapped what he had ordered《another couple of dishes are coming. If thou doth not like them, leave them. 》
《But... 》
《I shall eat them. Or we can exchange dishes. Nothing will go to waste. 》
For himself, he had chosen also a small plate of fish, that didn’t go with the rest of the meal but that he particularly enjoyed. He hoped that he could exchange it with one of Carmilla’s and make her feel better without forcing her to eat too much... with how slowly she was proceeding, he would surely finish the rest of the dishes by the time she emptied hers. Then that torture would be over and he would try to make it up to her with some herbal tea at his Manor.
He didn’t expect her to point the extremely chilli-stuffed dish he had ordered mostly out of curiosity
《What’s that?》
《A new dish that I never tried, so I didn’t get it for thee as well... Chilate de pollo, I think? 》
《Chilate?!》
《Doth thou know it?》
《It’s typical of my homeland.》 She eyed it almost hopefully 《would... would you mind to swap? 》
That thing looked as hot as fire itself. It would surely make her sick... but he found himself unable to deny her. After all, she was already feeling unwell
《As thou wish, mine dear. Yet be careful, it may be a little too spicy for thee 》
She devoured the whole thing with an hunger she had managed to hide before. Had hellish food been so terrible for her up to that point? What had she been eating for the past month? Her bites were almost famished
《This. Is delicious. 》 she said, a brightness on her that made her look younger, almost alive《I can’t believe that there’s actually something that tastes like food down there. 》
《Gluttons can be sinners, mine dear. There are many restaurants in the pride ring, hast thou not tried any of them yet? 》
《No, I have been too busy. And Pica’s place is too far from the centre. But I don’t mind, I’m used to put food last anyway... I’m not much of a glutton myself, as long as I can stomach it it’s fine. 》
She had given him a polite, jokingly answer, yet he regretted his question. He was quite sure she had arrived in this realm with nothing to her name but her skills, of course restaurants had not been a priority.
He promised himself he would make it up to her... she deserved to see the prettiest sides of her new home, and he would make sure she would never miss on anything again.
30 September
Carmilla stood politely on the side, gift basket in hand, but she didn’t waste the chance of examining her surroundings.
Mikael and Lukas’ house was much nicer than she had imagined. Messy, not as spotless as her standards required, but still spacious and comfortable. She had been made to understand that it was Zestial the one who provided living arrangements for his souls, and what she could see he didn’t slack off on that front. It was a relief.
《Looking great, Carmilla! 》welcomed Lukas, propped on the couch. Mikael and her had texted and called, but it was nice to finally see him again, since now he was well enough to have outside visitors – and she had no other emergency to manage.
The occasion had been turned in a small gathering.
《Thank you, I just got some new clothes and wanted to enjoy them a bit. 》 She replied politely, to keep the idle conversation going《How are you feeling? 》
《Perfectly fine! I was told that in a few days it will be safe for me to remove all runes. 》
《That’s good to know. You gave us all a scare 》
《Sorry about that 》he laughed softly 《and, thank you for saving me. I have been told that without you my ass would have been in much bigger troubles. 》
《It was nothing, I’m just glad you’re okay. 》she dismissed 《so, need any help around the house? I can help clean up a bit if you two have been too busy 》
《Please, no, no work for a couple of hours! Sit down and relax a bit. Wanna a snack?》
《Actually there are no snacks yet, I was just going out to buy some more... We had Brutus and Hyena over earlier and they finished everything. To be fair, conversation was stale, and chewing was easier 》
《True... hey, why don’t you go with him, so he can show you around a bit? I bet you have never been in this part of this part of the pentagram before! Outside the roofs, I mean. The streets are still messy, but most shops have reopened, at least part-time, maybe you could grab a snack and kill the time while everybody else comes. 》
It wasn’t a wicked idea.
《Yeah, why not, I’m sure he could use the extra hands 》she agreed, flexing her fingers, and the two turned to her in shock
《Was that... a joke? From the inflexible Carmen? 》
《If you can’t fight it, embrace it 》
Lukas laughed
《I like the spirit! But of course, someone like you would end up seeing the bright side of a curse, you’re just like that 》
Had he just... roasted her new body proportion? His words didn’t seem to match his relaxed expression, and it made her guess that maybe there was some context she was unaware of
《What makes you think that I’m cursed? 》she asked, in hope to clarify.
Now he seemed the one confused.
《Not you! Well, not only you. All of us...You know, the curse. 》
《Not really? First time I hear of it 》
He sighed deeply, dragging a palm across his face
《I keep forgetting that you’re kinda new to hell. Maybe Lauren can explain later? I’m not good with this stuff. 》
《I’ll do it while we are on our way! 》 intervened then Mikael《It will be fun, to be the teacher for once! You on board, Millie? 》
《Lead the way 》she smiled at his enthusiasm.
He beamed, grabbing the keys and heading to the door while dragging her along
《At your command! Lukas, I’m going out and I’m taking all the brain cells! Don’t burn the house down while we’re gone! 》
《Cretin! 》 he replied, laughing as well《Mills, remind him that I want something with white chocolate, this idiot has one track mind! 》
And with that, a new adventure started.
●●●
They were heading back home, Mikael’s backpack full of salty and sweet treats, and everything seemed calm.
He had shown her a few cafés, a craft shop and at least three different tea houses – given his vibes, she had never thought that she would find so many food related things I Zestial’s domain, but she was starting to reconsider that take – and they were exchanging anecdotes and information about hellish life and the planet earth... the time would come when even for her it would be only a distant memory, but for now she enjoyed talking about it.
And the insight a common sinner could offer was different from the one of an Overlord, and therefore quite interesting, at least to her.
《So… every sinner has something about their body that they hate, right? 》she asked, trying to wrap her head around the concept
《 And that’s impossible to change or at the very least extremely hard to hide, yes. 》confirmed the other, and she let out a small breath
《I hadn’t realised this... 》
《It’s a really fleeting thing to catch on to. Some sinners got such small curses that it’s impossible to tell… it’s a personal torture, not really meant to be on display. For you it’s you hands, for me it’s the skin…》
《Actually… I like those new hands. They’re extremely useful, I wouldn’t go back if offered to. 》
《Really? 》he asked, surprised
《Really. Why is it hard to believe? 》
《Because, you’re gorgeous, and without them you would look completely human… well, mostly. 》
She chuckled a bit at such naivety, shaking her head
《But…we’re not humans anymore. What would be the point of looking the part? 》
《That’s right too, I guess… so, what do you hate about your body? 》he asked, andshe stopped to think about it
《I… nothing in particular. It was weird the first week, but now I have grown used to it, and I don’t like it any more or less than my old one. 》she ended up replying, and it was the truth
《Brave. Good for you. 》his voice sounded a bit melancholic at that
《Thank you... I like your skin, anyway. It looks refreshing in this sea of black and reds… like a clear sky. 》she offered, trying to cheer him up, but he got flustered, his cheeks now blue as blueberries
《Damn, Millie, you’ll make a guy hard 》 he tried to deflect, earning a friendly slap on the back of the head, that made him cry out and laugh at the same time《Sorry, my bad, I ruined the moment. Jokes aside, thank you. I… appreciate the kindness, I’m just no longer used to it. We’re all so mean down here. 》
She had noticed... she wished she could tell him that if everyone started being a little bit nicer, then things would improve quickly, but she wasn’t naive. Truth was, in a mean word kind people got eaten alive, and it took a lot of courage to be the voice outside the chorus
《That’s— 》she started, trying to find the words, but a sound of steps approaching made an alarm ring in her head
《What’s wrong? 》Mikael asked, seeing her getting tense, but she silenced him
《Shhh. I heard something. 》
He obliged, and Carmilla turned to look at the corner they were about to take... part of her hoped it was just Zestial or one of his spiders accidentally scaring the hell out of her again, but that was a flickering hope... Zestial’s presence never screamed “troubles” like this one did
《Who are you? Show yourself! 》She demanded, gun in hand as Mikael did the same... she had never seen him fire, and she hoped he was a better shooter than he was a boxer
《As you wish, sweetheart 》
A slimy voice, followed by a tall man with platinum blond hair, and a group of rogues that proceeded to corner them.
Carmilla glared at the one who appeared to be the boss, positioning herself to protect Mikael better, and he smiled menacingly, the pale strands surroundings his slender and oily face like an ugly curtain
《So, lord Zestial’s new hire, am I right? I think the two of us could enjoy a little chat... 》he turned to her companion, weapon clearly in sight《alone. 》
Well, shit.
Notes:
宝贝(băobèi) = treasure, darling, baby.
Sunshine: was a sex worker that in life was drowned by her pimp. Once in hell, she fell into the same pattern for some time, until she met her husband, that helped her escape and get clean. The two lived happily together for many years before the current events. She picked the name Sunshine for herself, because it was the first thing he called her when they met.
"Big Alfredo’s doctrine" is a reference to the show "this world won't make me evil" by Zero Calcare"
So... in story, September is basically over, and another month has gone by. It is being stressful time for our dear Carmilla, but also of growth and bonding.
Now she got cornered... what will happen? You'll find out soon.
I'll probably soon post on my socials some drawings of her in her new outfits.
I hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading, and I hope the chapter didn't feel rushed! I was trying to give a sense of overwhelm, but still I tried to keep things clear and to give enough space to each topic I touched.
Have a great life!
Chapter 11: 10– Partners in sin: I can share your pain (I can't share you)
Summary:
Bad things happen, but in the aftermath Carmilla and Zestial grow closer. Carmilla also finds out about something she had never taken into account before.
Notes:
The start of this chapter is the hardest to bear, with some references to heavy topics, but then things improve... for the most part.
I hope you will enjoy this chapter, I worked on it relentlessly (I apologise for the wait, I trier my best)
Here I played with fire, the (characterization) stakes are high... and I would love to know what you all think.
Please read the final notes, I say more there.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
10– Partners in Sin – I can share your pain (I can’t share you)
Pure white lily, slender and pale
Meek naive daisy, a withered youth
These are Little innocent things
That the sky shall never know.
Thou hast wings of moonlight
So doth not despair
Thou art an ancient beauty
So sing not thine requiem,
Oh noble Swan
Sharp feathers glinting in blood
30th September, 1st October -
From Tuesday to Wednesday afternoon
The man eyed her as if she was a piece of meat up for sale, and Carmilla felt a shiver go down her spine... she knew that look too well not to.
《I have heard a few rumours about you, but they failed to mention what a pretty thing you are. What a shame, had I known I would have dressed up more. 》
He smiled at her, making a spectacle of licking his lips, the gesture just as viscid as his person.
Mikael seemed to think the same, as he tried to step in front of her and act as a shield
《Who are you, and what do you want from her? 》
《That’s none of your business, little punk 》one of the henchmen, a shark like sinner, threatened.
She had to intervene before things got out of hand
《If he has nothing to do with whatever this is, then let him go. 》she demanded, keeping up a stern facade
The blond leader laughed in her face
《I’m afraid I can’t, or he will go rattle to your boss the moment we lose sight of him. 》
《That’s where you’re wrong 》 she smirked, taking a step forward toward them《Attacking me, an hire, is something you can hope to get away with. But with an owned soul... you sure you want to play that game? 》
《Carmen! 》Mikael whispered, alarmed, as another rogue intimated her to shut her mouth.
Their leader seemed to think it over
《No, no, the pretty lady has a point 》 he conceded《Can you promise he won’t try to play knight? 》
《Yes. Give me one minute 》Camilla assured, before pulling her companion closer to her and ordering him, her voice now barely audible 《Mikael, I need you to go home 》
He looked at her in disbelief
《No! I won’t leave you with them! 》he whispered back, desperate
She slowly shook her head
《Listen, I can handle this, but not if I have you to worry about as well. 》
《But... 》
《No buts. Please, listen to me 》she pleaded
《So, sweetheart? 》the slimy man urged, having grown impatient.
Mikael looked between her and the gang, clearly torn, before finally giving in
《Alright 》He whispered, squeezing her hand, before turning to the blond 《I’m not going to alert my lord》
The other seemed pleased
《Good. Guns here. 》he ordered.
Mikael went to obey, but Carmilla stopped him, glaring at their abductor as if daring him to push her further
《 After he leaves. 》
The man narrowed his eyes at her, but agreed with a rough gesture of his hand.
Mikael left with an heavy conscience; Carmilla watched him disappear behind the corner with a relief filled heart
As soon as Mikael was gone, they took her gun and leaded her to a big container filled with big wooden boxes, as the ones near ports, and whose entrance was guarded by a single wasp like sinner.
Most of the group went back to its normal occupations, and she was left alone with the blond leader – a certain Captain Jonny D, staying at how his men addressed him – and two henchmen, the shark like one, that went by the name “Zanna” and a monkey like one that called himself “Mombo”.
The trio was insufferable, their words full of innuendos, but at least it seemed that they had deeply underestimated her, since they hadn’t even bothered to tie her up or check her booths for inner blades... it would come to bite them back, she just needed to be patient and play her cards right.
《This is quite a big gun for a tiny thing like you. I wonder what other big things you could handle 》Zanna derided, as they sat her on a filthy chair... the space they had lead her in was delimitated by curtains, almost like an indoor circus tent, with mismatched colours that had once been bright but were now washed off by dirt and dust... the place was also horribly noisy, with explosions and gunshots audible every few minutes... one in particular resounded again and again, as if in a loop, and Carmilla listened carefully to isolate it.
Her craftiness was misinterpreted
《Scared of a bit of dynamite? Well, get used to it doll, old Jack’s machine is a clock, and never skips a “bang” 》
She looked at him with annoyance
《Fifteen. 》
《The fuck? 》The man snarled, his temperature flaring at the slightest provocation.
She didn’t give him any satisfaction, too used to men like him to show any fear
《I agreed to give you thirty minutes of my time. You just wasted half. 》
The captain laughed, twisting one of her curls within his oily fingers
《Please, sweetheart, don’t be so defensive. I’m just interested in your... talents. 》He sibilate, his hand trying to slither past her neckline《And your soul. It would make such a nice trophy to rub in your boss’ ugly face. 》
She smacked him. Hard.
《Keep your dirty hands off of me 》
He reacted by immediately grabbing a fistful of her hair and dragging her to her feet with it...
She wanted so badly to kick him in the balls, but needed to stay calm. Lure him in a false sense of security, and strike when he least expected it
At her lack of reaction, he snickered again, letting her fall back on the chair and turning to his accomplishes
《Guys, what do you think? Our little siren wants to play hard to get 》
Mombo the monkey followed his suit, backed up by Zanna
《I like the attitude. Cold bitches are always the hottest, once you break them 》
《She’s a frigid whore, but maybe I can warm her up for you, Captain. Gimme half an hour 》
《With these thighs? You won’t last ten minutes, but I volunteer for the second shift 》
They joked, as she wasn’t even there
《Oh, be polite you. That’s no way to speak to a lady. 》their leader scolded, but it was just to mock her, the attribute dripping with venom
She didn’t give them the reward of a reaction, so they kept going
《What, did we offend you? Then you should have held dear on your little knight 》
《The old man seems to have found the perfect pet, just as prideful as he is. 》
She looked at them as the dirt they were
《Your time is up. Now, if you don’t have anything else to say, I’ll take my leave. 》
《After I let you little friend go? You wound me. 》
《I agreed to give you thirty minutes to tell me what you wanted. You wasted the chance, and that’s on you. I’m not interested in selling you my soul, so now you can step aside and let me go on my way or face the consequences of a broken deal. Your choice. 》
《Let’s continue this conversation in my quarters, with a glass of wine 》
《I’m not interested. 》
《Nobody gives a fuck 》 he said, grabbing her hard enough to bruise and dragging her behind another curtain, where he forced her on a lumpy couch《I think you should use that pretty brain to think better about your attitude, hell is a big scary place for a nice little thing like you, am I right? But I think you’ll be much more agreeable after I show you what good care I could take of you. Come here... 》
He gripped her waist, trying to unbutton her jeans. She shoved him aside... they were alone and out sight, this was her moment to strike
《I told you not to touch me. 》
In response he tried to slap her, but failed as her big hands worked as an excellent shield. He pulled out a knife, and held it against her stomach in frustration
《Afraid of me getting a little bit handy? You shouldn’t be, I’m a gentleman... my associates, on the other side, they would have their fun without much restraint, you heard how they talk... They would make you their little toy, and by the time they’re done you wouldn’t even remember how it feels to be human. 》
Not even remember how it feels to be human.
By the time I’m done with you, you’ll forget how to think.
Worthless little slut, I could kill you now and you wouldn’t be missed, bury you in the backyard and your sister wouldn’t even notice, so STAY FUCKING STILL
She tried not to show it. She really, really tried not to show it.
But these words hit her deeply, in a spot that had never stopped to hurt, and her face contorted in a grimace
《That scared you, didn’t it? Smart girl 》Jonny D looked at her, finally satisfied. He dropped the knife to push her back on the couch, his fingers finding their way under her shirt《I’m usually polite, but if you don’t do something for me, why should I waste time on helping you out with them, I’m a busy fella... but if you sign the contract, I’ll see that they keep their hands to themselves. 》
She wanted to punch his face over and over, break it beyond recognition... instead she forced the sweetest smile, a plan finalising in her brain
《Promise? 》she asked, all sugary, so false that only an idiot could have missed it.
Luckily, Jonny was indeed an idiot
《Of course 》he assured, bending to kiss her neck, the illusion of triumph making him even hornier.
She needed to act fast
《Can I see it? 》
He seemed annoyed, but still lucid enough to figure out that once he gained her soul, he would be able to do whatever with her, so he handed her the contract and a pen to sign it.
Exactly what she wanted.
Carmilla pretended to read it with great care, slow as if she was struggling to decipher what was written
This went on for almost five minutes, before the man grew frustrated, his fists clenched as he asked
《Why are you not signing it? 》
Don’t. Snap.
《I can’t read well. Could you help me with this word, please? 》she asked instead, as sweet as she could be, pointing at a word
He sighed, barely hiding his glee at the thought that she couldn’t properly read
《Of course, doll... 》
He leaned on the paper, trying to spell out the word, probably not the best reader himself.
Closer. Just a bit closer...
Then, it happened.
That devilish machine was going to do that awful noise again, and right on time as he got exactly where she wanted him.
Carmilla tightened her hold on the pen and used it to stab him in the eye, so forcefully that she would have been surprised if his brain was still intact.
《YOU WHORE 》he screamed, but the sound got muffled, and probably no one but Zanna and Mombo would hear it.
She grabbed his gun and smiled as he clutched half of his face in pain
《My soul belongs to me and me alone. Don’t forget it, MOTHERFUCKER! 》
A couple of bullets and some rope was all she needed to take care of the other two when they came to investigate the commotion... And she could have killed them, shoot them straight in the head and gotten this over with. She didn’t.
She wounded them enough to get away and ran.
Thinking about it, even years down the line, she would be unable to explain why. Maybe her training as a detective had kicked in, maybe she had gone for not lethal areas out of habit because she had been a cop, and cops aren’t supposed to kill when avoidable.
Maybe adrenaline had made her forget that she was in hell, and no one would come to arrest her for murder, and that after all it wasn’t even murder, since they would regenerate anyway.
Probably, it was because nothing, even decades in hell, would ever be enough to persuade her that human lives were worthless, her forgiveness second only to her desire to protect the ones she loved... that day, not knowing that she was already protecting something – something precious – she spared them
She forgot that ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves... so she shoot them in the legs and ran.
That place was a fucking labyrinth, boxes and curtains and tents everywhere, making it hard to see or even get an hold of directions, but she used it to her favour. All she knew was that she needed to get on the opposite side of that big metal prison, and that the best way to do it was acting as if she had done it thousands of times. She grabbed random stuff and moved it around as she walked, trying to appear as if she belonged and was currently extremely preoccupied with her job... assuming that she had just lost her soul, too distracted by the incessant noise and chaos, too drunk to recall or recognise her, most people paid her no mind, letting her slip away without a second glance. Her colourful outfit made it impossible to blend with the men, gaining her the occasional pinch, and a couple of whistles as she got confused for some sort of off duty escort, but she gritted her teeth and answered to everything with “I’m busy, the Capitan sent me to do this” , “move, the Capitan sent me to grab that”. Someone even asked if she knew about the girl they had apparently ambushed, but she shrugged, acting as if her only concern would be to clean the mess afterwards “today I do the cleaning, I don’t ask questions”.
Only the women –mostly owned souls, she assumed – seemed to see through her obvious bullshit, but they stayed silent, something akin to admiration in their eyes. Like they had figured out she was playing everybody, and were proud of her for that, eager to take their revenge through her... she regretted not being able to just free them all, but she first needed to learn more about soul contracts. She had memorised the terms of hers, maybe if theirs were similar she could figure out how to undo them... it would be great.
But right now, she had to get out.
Thirty minutes later she finally got to the exit, a broom and some random stuff on hand – rope, an empty detergent bottle, a bucket – to seem more convincing. And just in time, she thought, as something started to stir inside, people starting to notice their leader’s prolonged absence... she had thought about just escaping, but that damn container had no windows. She had to risk the door, even if it was guarded by the same wasp like demon from before
《Who are you, and where the hell do you think you’re going? 》it asked, in a surprisingly feminine voice.
《I’m just the cleaning lady. 》Carmilla answered, rising her broom a bit.
The demoness seemed sceptical, and didn’t hesitate to question her
《Dressed like that? 》
《Wasn’t expecting to be on duty today. I’m annoyed as well 》she faked a smile 《Can I go? It’s already late 》
Something told her that she had picked the wrong persona to slip in – with these circumstances, a real maid would have sounded much more dead inside, her outfit was off, and the adrenaline rush had made her sound way too energetic – but at this point it was too late to take it back.
Airhead it was, if she still hoped for this to work, but at this point it was like climbing on a mirror
《I’m pretty sure I just saw you get in with the Capitan 》
As she expected. Carmilla shrugged, trying to keep up the part, but her mind was already working to come up with a contingency plan
《Our business is done, and he put me to work. He was also quite cross with me, so if you could let me go and do my job, you would be sparing us both a world of trouble... 》
《Don’t try to play me, if you had really stricken a deal with him right now you would be on your back thinking of England 》the guard gave her a derisory smile 《and let’s be honest – he didn’t try to steal you from lord Zestial to just let you off easy. He would be displaying you for the whole hell to see 》
Carmilla saw her get her teaser out, and was fast enough to avoid it, decking just in time and kicking the other woman off her feet.
She kicked the weapon away and, using the other’s slowness to her advantage, tied her arms and mouth with the rope she had brought.
《You did this to yourself, I was just trying to go home 》
She raised, ready to run as far away as possible and leave that day behind, but something grabbed her legs and pulled her back down.
How?
She looked at her enemy. And the extra set of arms that they had, apparently, kept hidden until now.
Of course. This was hell, how had she forgotten?
She had no time to dwell about it.
The wasp-guard yanked her by the hair and against the floor, hard enough to break skin and make her cry out in pain.
She bit her in retaliation, obtaining to be freed, just in time to be faced with another problem.
Zanna, Mombo and another couple of henchmen had joined in. And they looked pissed.
She probably needed to rethink her “no murder” policies.
This time they didn’t lose time in teasing or chit chatting, having clearly learned their lesson about letting her free to move, and immediately charged on her. She jumped out of the way and over their heads, but this part of the container was almost completely empty, with smooth walls and nowhere for her to bounce on or hide for a surprise attack.
She used the last four bullets against the wasp-guard and the new henchmen that, being completely unharmed, had been the hardest ones to keep at bay. They had disassembled her own gun and she had had no time of fixing it, all she had left was a short knife and her agility, as long as it lasted... considering how fatigued she was getting, and that she was sure her ankle had gotten twisted somewhere along the way, she was pretty much screwed.
She hated admitting it, but some back up in that moment would have been nice, maybe she could try to run back in between the tents and use the rune that Zestial had given her...
No.
No, no, no, no. He would never come for her, she would get herself trapped for nothing. She could sort this out on her own, she had to.
She desperately looked around once more
Five enemies, three still standing perfectly well.
Two useless guns.
A knife... she could try to throw it at one of them, but then? There had to be something...
Then she realised. The metal table the guard had been using as a post, she could make a weapon out of it... she wasn’t sure of how strong her arms were, but if there was a good time to find out it was then and there.
She made a run for it, dodging bullets as she got cover behind the metal surface. She grabbed the metal leg and pulled.
“Please” she thought “please, I need to be strong enough for this, I don’t want to die again, and I don’t want them to put their hands on me. God, please, if you’re out there somewhere let me be strong enough, if I need to fend for myself again, please, this time let me be strong enough to succeed ”
The metal came apart, the torn end not as sharp as it could have been, but still intimidating, scalding hot as she basically melted the piece away from the desk... All the eyes were on her, but she was too overwhelmed to realise what she had done. All she knew was that she needed to get out.
What went down next, happened in a blur. Cornered like an animal, her halo gave way to fangs and nails.
She swung her improvised bat in the air, initially aimlessly, but then with determined fury. One, two, three, four, five times, ignoring the screams, not even having heard them, completely deaf to any plea.
Her body, so sore a moment before, was now numb to any pain, her arms as powerful as a machine.
She moved gracefully, from prey to hunter, her bat dancing in the air and across bones and flesh, tearing bodies apart as if they were made of clay.
Vertebras, guts, intestines, all flew in the air as she hit again and again, without ever missing her targets, no matter how much they tried to outrun her.
Red lips, red hair, red face red eyes red tongue red teeth red clothes red booths red fangs red nails red hands, her hands covered in blood
By the time it was over she was completely covered in blood, soaked, bathed in the proof of her sin as in the unholy parody of a baptism.
She looked at her hands, she looked at the room, at the corpses that she had so disfigured... what had she done?
Oh god, what had she done?
She dropped her bat and ran.
After all this, shocked to her core, all Carmilla would have wanted was finding some rest, some comfort, some semblance of peace.
Someone, apparently determined to meet their death, had other plans
《I underestimated you, doll. The rumours really don’t make you justice. 》 Jonny greeted, his eye somehow bandaged《I thought you were just eye candy, but damn, you can fight》
Why was he there? To kill her? She deserved it for what she had done, for the monster she had let slip out of her, but not like this. Not by his filthy hand.
《Oh, are you shaking? That’s pretty. You’re pretty... Red is definitely your colour, you look so hot soaked in it》He backed her against the wall, and she witnessed in silent horror as he licked from the croon of her neck up to her lobe《We had a rough start, but it’s not all trash. I could still show you how it is to work for a man with some humanity left, instead of a complete freak... what do you say? A death machine like you can’t seriously be happy to be his toy. He’s out of your league, do you really think he won’t get bored with you in a year or so? With me, it could last longer 》
With him? The one who had threatened to rape her again?
His words ignited a dark rage inside her.
《 From the looks of it, I would be better off as his slave than as your ally. 》
He smiled at her again, the curve of his mouth uncanny... a smile, but crafted to poison.
《That’s a bad attitude. Maybe I was wrong, you like being someone’s pet, and need to be trained the hard way... tell me, does he fuck this pretty mouth of yours whenever you talk back, or doesn’t he have the anatomy for it anymore— 》
She punched him, hard enough to send him to the ground
《Don’t speak of Zestial that way. 》
She was an exhausted mess, five minutes away from fainting, but that comment was exactly what was needed to refuel her anger... because, truly, how did he dare?
Zestial hadn’t been the one to kidnap her.;
Zestial hadn’t been the one to assault and threaten her;
Zestial hadn’t been the one to push her to violence;
It didn’t matter that Zestial was on Overlord, and that he probably wouldn’t particularly care about such allegations, she couldn’t stand the comment because it was unfair.
Of course, she didn’t exactly trust him yet... but he had been good to her. He had been helpful without asking for much in return, and upfront about his deals... if he had an hidden agenda, it wasn’t getting in her pants. It wasn’t much, maybe, but it had to account for something, and she wouldn’t let others accuse him of something he hadn’t done.
《He’s a better man that you’ll ever be, so get his name out of your mouth 》
《I can’t believe it! You really are a well-trained bitch! 》the Capitan looked at her in disbelief, he had raised back to his feet and was now laughing in her face.
Let it be his last laugh. She couldn’t take it anymore.
She used her knife to stab him in the stomach, and then the throat, and then the heart. Methodical. Mechanical. Not there when it happened.
《Sleep well, malnacido 》
She was so tired.
Her head pulsed, and the ocean was running through her ears, bloody waves of pain and confusion. She didn’t know on what part of the border she was anymore, nor how she would get back home... All she knew was that she needed to go somewhere else, safer and less trafficked.
She forced herself up. Her left ankle was an indefinite mass of white pain, but she gritted her teeth and stood anyway, leaning heavily against the wall, she had walked off worse and she needed to get away before anyone else noticed what had just gone down... but maybe this time there was another way.
Not too far from her there was another of these weird metal ladders, the wall it was attached to so dirty that some more stains would hardly be noticed... She could use it to get to the roof and away from the crime scene. There she could rest a bit, hoping that her accelerate healing would do its duty... it wasn’t the worst plan.
Fighting the dizziness, Carmilla managed to drag herself to the ladder... it stopped at the height of her neck, so she would have to pull herself up. With great fatigue, she started the climb... it was good that she could still use her right foot properly, because her hands were getting more and more sore as she went on, the rusty metal cutting into her skin as she did her best not to lose her balance...
She collapsed immediately after reaching the roof.
Mikael had run back home as fast as he could, taking shortcuts even as the fear of being ambushed again cornered him. He had made it in record time, collapsing to the floor once inside.
Lukas had tried to jump in his aide, but the pain in his side had made him fall back on the couch with a grimace almost immediately and Lauren – that had apparently arrived a while ago and was now cooking something for dinner – abandoned his pot and went to check on him.
It was Marcus, who had also joined them for this little get together, probably in hope of seeing Carmilla, to lend the other boy an hand to get up, and that was when Mikael had thrown himself in an erratic summary of what had happened, explaining that at least the two of them had to go back to help her – he wasn’t a good fighter, but Marcus had a great aim, and together they could hope to be of some use.
To his surprise and exasperation, his older colleague was of a different advice
《Why?! Why won’t you help her!? 》
《I told you, Carmen doesn’t need rescue, and we should mind our own business 》he replied once more, going back to lit himself a cigarette
《But she might be in danger! 》Mikael insisted, even more panicked. Lauren was staying out of the discussion, as usual, and Lucas was trying to weakly back him up from his horizontal position, but Marcus wouldn’t bulge, and he couldn’t figure out why
《Or, she might be contracting with someone else, and interfering will jeopardise it 》he suggested again. He seemed convinced that Carmilla would be fine no matter what and while the admiration was, well, admirable, it didn’t mean that to the two younger boys it didn’t seem completely nuts to not even go check...
But then again, they were the ones in debt with Carmilla. Marcus obviously liked her, but in a different way, and “respecting her space” was the hill he had decided to die on, disregarding even such extreme circumstances.
Well, not interfering was his choice. Didn’t mean Mikael couldn’t change his plans accordingly.
《I’m gonna call lord Zestial. 》he said, petty but almost ready to do it.
Marcus gave him an derisory grin, as if he was an idiot
《Good idea, so after he’s done with her she will have the chance to go look for her guts all across the pentagram as a fun pastime. That will be useful for sure! 》
It was Mikael’s turn to snarl
《The boss will not hurt Carmilla, for sure not worse than these assholes will! 》
《Why shouldn’t he? 》Marcus asked.
The best answer that came to mind was what his guts had been suggesting him since the extermination, when he had seen his lord follow the orders of this fresh soul without arguing, and giving his blood to spare hers
《I think he has a soft spot for her. 》he almost whispered, looking at his shoes.
He could feel, more than see, the disgust on the other’s face.
《You’re so stupid. 》
Maybe he was, but he refused to sit still and argue about it while the person who had saved Lukas’life was in danger
《This is a waste of time, I’m going back. 》
《Alone? And what will you do if she actually needs help, scream like a child? Make yourself a favour and leave her space! 》Marcus insisted, following him and grabbing his arm as to stop him, but Mikael shoved him away.
He was weaker but at the moment he was also angry.
《I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’m going to make sure that those mother-fuckers don’t touch her. And if summoning the boss is what it takes, I’ll risk it! 》
Mikael exited slamming the door, and Marcus sighed, walking to the kitchen to grab himself a beer to calm down
《He will get her in trouble with someone. Why can’t he just let her be?》
He grumbled, feeling a mix of uneasiness and worry.
《Because he cares. And care is often clumsy, but still quite powerful》 replied Lauren, seasoning some chicken breasts, before adding《Are you sure you don’t want to go to the rescue? If you like her, it could be a good opportunity to show that you care as well 》
Marcus let out an exasperated sigh
《She’s a better fighter than any of us, she doesn’t need a sitter 》
《If Mikael truly ends up asking the boss for help, and he shows up, Carmilla will inevitably become closer to him, you know 》
He didn’t like where Lauren’s reflection was going
《I don’t see why this would be my problem 》he replied, curt
《If you say so. 》the other shrugged, and his serene indifference irritated him even more.
He turned to him abruptly
《Why aren’t you going if you care so much? 》
《I’m cooking, and I don’t think Carmen needs urgent back up 》 he simply said, going back to his stew《but it would have been nice if you had offered anyway 》
Why was it so hard for everyone to understand that Carmilla wasn’t that kind of woman? She was strong, too strong to require help, and way too level headed to wish for silly gallant gestures
《She doesn’t want help. Even during the extermination, she instructed us to try and stick in pairs, but she went off alone. I’m just trying to respect that. 》
What a pity, that blind acceptance doesn’t always get you a long way.
The bad thing about having ears everywhere was that at times you got really irritating news you couldn’t really do much about – not without overstepping way too many boundaries at once, at least.
Like, finding out that Carmilla had apparently become quite popular within his subjects... and rivals, which was admittedly the most irritating part.
He didn’t mind other people liking her – he knew she had done a spectacular job during the extermination, and from what he had heard she was bound to soon become almost an urban legend, with her kind words and determination... she was incredible, it would have been weird if people hadn’t started speculating about her. And as long as it stayed between his subjects, he had no objections... if they were all impressed with his new hire, it was only good for his reputation, and he was sure Carmilla would be happy as well, once he told her how much she was already liked. He felt actually a bit smug about the whole thing... but.
The fact that some rising wannabe Overlord could think about getting in contact with her and stealing her from under his nose... it made his blood boil.
Carmilla was his, how did anybody dare to think about trying to take her from him?
The thought made him freeze. Carmilla... she wasn’t his, not by any means. He didn’t own her, she could barely be considered a soul of his domain, living on the border... she wasn’t exactly his employee, and they hadn’t signed together even the weakest of contracts, what right did he have of vetoing her from accepting a job from another Overlord, be it even a rival? She was a free soul, she could do what she pleased.
Still, he couldn’t placate his rage. And he wasn’t even mad at her for the supposed slay, he just wanted to annihilate everybody else! What the hell was wrong with him? He had never felt such a vicious possessiveness toward anyone else.
His souls... they belonged to him, but not in the way he felt that Carmilla did. He wasn’t exactly a pious lord, he admitted he could even be considered neglectful and uncaring, but he still recognised the personhood of his subjects. He demanded loyalty, their skills to be put at his disposals, he carefully schemed to make the creepiest rumours grow wild and used the fear they generated to better exercise control over his territory... but he didn’t destroy his souls. Punishments were inflicted for discipline, not amusement, and never had he raised a finger on any of them without being provoked, never – even when faced with the most infuriating betrayal – had he used any kind of depraved retaliation, be it inflicted by himself or others. It was bare decency, yet still more than one could expect from a realm with hell’s reputation. His morals could be skewed, but they were not negotiable or outright perverse. There was something... sacred, about some bonds, about some actions, and master or not he didn’t feel like he had the right to exploit or twist them. His souls were his – his to command, to invest in, to order around, to shape... but also his to be responsible for. It was patronising, he knew, but he had never pretended to be an humble man.
With Carmilla... it was a completely different thing. His possessiveness over her was so much more intense, and so much less controlling at the same time.
If he sat at a table, she wasn’t his to devour, or his as a servant, bound and supposed to obey. She was his, as in “her chair belongs next to mine”, as in “the wine in my cup is only hers to share”, as in “I shall never let her go without”.
It was all... very intense to process, but he wasn’t sure he could avoid doing so much longer, not when she was his in a way no one else had ever been... she was not his, but she belonged with him. Had he been another man, he would have called what he felt “being in love”, but he was himself, barely human anymore, and love was not something his heart could ever be capable of feeling. But... “care”, maybe. “Care” could be the right word.
He cared about her wellbeing, and her future, about her... he cared about the bond they had started to form, and now he was furious, because someone had tried to get in the way, and his fury was tinted with anxiety, because he wasn’t sure that she would even want to make a deal with him, given other options.
He was jealous, because he didn’t want anyone else to have with Carmilla what he hoped to... but she wasn’t his, and there was no telling her to listen and focus on them. Was there even a them?
For the first time in many years, he had no idea of what to do. And it was unpleasant in many, many ways.
《Lord Zestial 》
Marvellous. A surprise visit was not what he needed, not when he was already feeling so irritated.
《Why hast thou disturbed me? I’m in no mood for chit chat. 》he said, gelid, glaring down at Mikael. The poor soul trembled, and Zestial did his best to calm down a bit – sour mood or not, this could actually be important, or the boy wouldn’t have dared using his rune 《Have Lukas’ conditions worsened? Speak once and for all, so we might doth something about whatever is troubling thee so. 》
He gulped a couple of times, tried to speak, lost the nerve, gulped again and tried once more.
It took him three or four attempts, but in the end he managed to spit out what was his problem – and just in time before Zestial lost his patience
《It’s about Carmilla, sir. Boss. Lord Zestial, my lord, sir. 》
Of course, it had to be about her. It wasn’t enough that he had spent the last few days tormenting himself on what to do about her – or better, about the very detested sinners that obviously didn’t know their place and were scheming to try and strike a deal with her, and therefore to take her away from him –, but now there was even one of his youngsters to add to the headache.
Zestial had concluded (not without discontentment or a grand use of self-restraint) that the only fair thing to do was letting Carmilla her spaces. He would talk to her in a few days, warn her about potential dangers, and then stay out of her business and let her make her own choices... he wanted an ally, not a puppet, and anyway he had come to respect her way too much to go behind her back to preclude her any opportunity. This didn’t mean he was particularly happy about his resolution, or that he wanted to stagnate on it more than necessary... but he couldn’t ignore Mikael.
He let out a tired sigh, massaging his temples slowly, an habit that Carmilla had managed to rub off on him during their very short acquaintance... he needed to banish her from his thoughts in a way or the other.
《What about her? 》he asked, instead.
He could resist anything but temptation.
《While we were walking around, 》 Mikael started, shaky, obviously trying to be efficient in his report《another sinner, known to be trying to get affirmed as an Overlord, stopped her saying he wanted to talk to her about something. 》
So soon?
Zestial thought, fury crawling up his skin once more. He had hoped he would get to speak to her first.
《I have no right to pry in her private business. If she wants to share, she’ll do it herself. 》 he replied, apparently emotionless.
He could feel the fear coming from his subordinate, silent and a bit unrefined, bitter but familiar like an acquired taste. He almost felt sorry for the boy, but this facade was the best he could offer: had he let his true feelings slip, he would have scared him to a quite unpleasant second death
《Yet, I thank thee for thine loyalty. Thou art dismissed. 》
This should have settled it, but something in Mikael’s eyes sparkled. Zestial knew well what it was: courage, the only thing that won over fear.
《My lord, please, it’s not about loyalty- not that I’m not loyal, I mean— shit. I mean: they didn’t seem to have good intentions, and, and—》he started, interrupted, fumbled... but still tried, determined 《and I think she needs help, and I don’t have anyone else I can rely on. Please. 》
Wait.
They had threatened her into staying?
Without even thinking it through, Zestial sent his spiders to look for her. He would probably manage to be discrete enough to help her out without her noticing... there was no need to play the hero, he just wanted to find her and make sure she was alright
《She is more than capable of handling herself, thou shall not succumb to such agitation 》 he started to reassure, quite mechanically.
His mind was getting flooded with smells and silhouettes and streets by his spiders, and he didn’t have much focus to spare for the boy in front of him. He needed him calm and gone, so he could go look for Carmilla
《But I went back to where I left them, and now it looks like a butcher’s shop! There’s blood everywhere, and I can’t find Carmilla! 》 he finally admitted, tears in his eyes, having clearly interpreted his master’s words as a refusal to help《I’m worried, but alone I can’t do anything… 》
Zestial’ attention snapped back on him.
A battlefield, and he thought only now to mention it?
It was too late for discretion, they had already lost precious time. They would have to go at this rescue old style
《Where? 》 He demanded.
Mikael’s eyes lit up again.
《Where I used my rune... 》
Perfect.
《Hold onto mine cape. 》he ordered, using one of his big hands to drag the stunned boy closer.
As they teleported Mikael had the impression – but couldn’t have sworn on it – of hearing
“And next time, lead with that”
《Carmela? 》
She looked up at him. What was he doing still around?
Her head ached, her limbs felt heavy and her tongue was sore, but she still tried her best to give him a smile
《Mikael. What are you doing here? I had told you to go home 》
《What happened to you? You’re completely soaked in blood! 》he asked, hurrying to her where she was sitting. Was she sitting or lying down?
《Don’t worry, most of it isn’t mine, if any... Things simply got a bit violent, not very civil, those wannabees 》she dismissed, trying to sit up.
He looked at her in horror
《A bit violent? You weren’t this messy after the extermination! 》
《That’s true. 》 she laughed, but it was so empty it only worried him further《Isn’t it a shame? I have to go home, I need a shower, I’m dirty. 》
《Oh, no, no, no, no. I came here with the boss, now you’ll come, and he’ll take care of you... 》
《I don’t need care, I have dry ice in my purse 》
She finally stood up, kept her balance for a moment and then collapsed again, her ankle refusing to cooperate.
Was it still twisted? It felt so...
《Oh pentagram– sit down! 》 Mikael, slightly shorter than her, grabbed her from under her arms, and gently guided her back to the ground《Boss! 》 he yelled then, to nothing in particular, maybe some well camouflaged spiders《 I found her, it looks gruesome, it, it— 》
《It’s not her blood, compose thyself》
Zestial’s voice interrupted his panicked rambling.
Carmilla wanted to look at him, but her head felt too heavy, her neck too weak...
He tilted her chin up with his long fingers, the index under her jaw and his thumb on her cheek. It felt blissfully soothing, especially as he used his handkerchief to wipe off some blood from her eyes
《Carmilla? 》he called, softly.
She found words a bit hard to manage, at the moment
《Zestial, hi 》
《Is she okay? 》Mikael asked, worried and unused to seeing her in such a dizzy state.
Zestial hummed, before replying
《I doth not know. She appears unscathed, yet I suspect a mild concussion. 》
《What do we do? 》
《We go to mine house. 》 he explained to the young man, before directing his attention on Carmilla again《Carmilla, art thou able to stand? I need to examine thee properly, and to doth so we will have to teleport 》
《Of course I can》she immediately assured, but Mikael knelt next to her, his hands on her shoulders to keep her still
《She fell when she tried! 》
《Because my ankle got twisted, but I’m fine, and I can stand up. I just need a moment 》
《I see. 》Zestial didn’t leave her time to try to stand up again.
He picked her up, an arm under her knees and another on her back – as if she was a bride – and held her close to his chest, ignoring the blood that would now stain his clothes as well... and his hold was so careful, and yet so firm, that for a moment she felt like she was floating
《Apologies, dear, yet this is for thine own good. Mikael, stay near. 》he ordered.
She was too exhausted to protest, Mikael was fast to obey and so, in less than a minute, they were gone.
Carmilla’s body had gone limp in Zestial’s arms by the time they arrived at the house, causing Mikael a non-indifferent amount of panic.
Zestial was quite concerned as well, even if more about her mental state than physical one, but had to maintain his calm demeanour: if he showed too much worry, Mikael would lose his mind, and even Carmilla could get needlessly agitated
《Doth not fret, she needs quiet. 》 he instructed, moving Carmilla out of his reach as the younger man tried to shake her awake 《Carmilla, doth thou hear me? 》
She let out a weak sound, and he sighed in relief: she was completely spent, but still conscious.
He slowly sat her down on a nearby couch, that hadn’t been used in eons, if ever, and summoned a glass of water. She drank avidly, and so he refilled it again and again, until she seemed to feel satisfied. From how she moved， it seemed she hadn’t received any serious injury, but he would have to wait for her to get cleaned to be completely sure.
《I have in mine laboratory everything necessary to heal her, once all the blood is removed. 》he assured
《I’ll help her wash it off 》Mikael energetically offered, Carmilla’s presence putting him more at ease... even if the lady herself didn’t seem particularly comfortable with the idea
《No, I’m fine, don’t touch me. 》she protested, but went mostly unheard
《It’s okay, you wanted a shower, right? It will be fast— 》
《Cease. 》Zestial interrupted. 《Go wait somewhere else, thou need to clean up as well, I got this under control. 》
He knew that the boy had honest intentions, and no wish to take advantage of the situation, but it wasn’t enough to make him agree to entrust him such a delicate task... and the way Carmilla stiffened at the offer, her hand weakly clutching his, only served to strengthen his resolution.
No one but him would see her at her most vulnerable, it was a matter of respect.
《I want to go home 》she whispered once they were left alone, as Zestial gently brushed some soaked strands away from her face
《We art working toward it, dear, be not afraid. 》 He reassured, evoking a weird looking candle, whose flame was exceptionally bright and cold, and proceeding to move it very closely to her eyes《please, stay still. 》
He instructed as she squirmed away from the light. That thing seemed to only worsen her headache
《Put that thing away 》She complained, trying to swat it away but missing.
Zestial took her hand and calmly led it back to rest on her thighs, muttering something under his breath
《Light sensitivity. Movements uncharacteristically uncoordinated, slurred speech. Thou, mine dear, hast received quite the harsh hit on the head, I’m afraid, in addition to the wounded ankle. Doth thou remember what happened? 》
She shrugged, confused and unwilling to relive the moment
《They... she... someone slammed my head against a lot of stuff. But I cut them in two, so we’re even. 》
He couldn’t tell if she was joking or was serious, but certainly she looked on the verge of tears, so he tried to make her focus on something else
《Doth thou know their names? 》
《Unimportant. 》 she brushed him off《I want to go home 》
《I shall bring thee home after thou art all cleaned up. 》 he promised《We doth not wish to worry miss... to worry thine roommate, right? 》
《Right 》she agreed, almost automatically, ceasing any resistance.
It probably wasn’t the first time that someone convinced her to get herself in order before going back to her friends or family; it was concerning, to say the least, and he would have to investigate the matter further, but for now he would use what he had to make her feel better
《Exactly. Now, allow me to assist 》he picked her up again, and then explained《Now, I shall take thee in a bathing chamber, sit thee in the tub and leave thee alone to get undressed and wash up, alright? Thou hast no reason to feel unsafe, naught shall happen to thee. Doth thou follow? 》
《Yes 》
《Excellent. Here we are 》he said, opening the door to a small room adjacent to another long-forgotten bedroom.
He sat Carmilla on a chair, helped her remove her shoes and jacket and then into the tub
《That’s perfect, mine dear. Just sit down... perfect. 》 he praised, unsure on what to doth in those circumstances... being reassuring wasn’t his strong suit《Art thou able to reach the faucet with ease? 》
《Yes 》she said again, but this time seemed a bit more grounded, even reaching out to make sure that her words corresponded to the truth 《I think I will be able to manage 》
《Alright. I shall be right outside. 》
Some time passed. He waited patiently, but after the third worrisome sound of stuff falling around he felt compelled to check
《Art thou having troubles with the water? 》he asked through the door
《No 》 she replied immediately, but she sounded almost... embarrassed. Her tone explained itself as she continued 《My clothes won’t come off... the blood glued them to my skin. 》
《Oh dear 》 he should have thought about that《Wait, I’m coming back in, alright? 》
She made a sound as of approval, and so he proceeded.
《Art thou alright? 》
《I didn’t know I had so much strength in my arms.》she turned to him, as tears silently ran down her cheeks《 I didn’t mean it... they were horrible, but I didn’t mean it... 》
She started sobbing uncontrollably and he knelt beside her, at a loss on what to do.
When was the last time he had met someone that felt guilty about killing? Probably centuries.
And when had been the last time he had felt the need to comfort a regretful soul? This, he realised, was probably a first for him.
He wiped her tears again, and squeezed her shoulders... her frame was so slender, even with all the willpower it held inside. So frail and uncrushable at the same time.
《They attacked thee. I’m certain thou tried to get away peacefully, it’s nothing to be horrified about. 》
《I cut them in half...》
《They shall regenerate anyway. The one on thee is a victimless blood. 》
《Victimless 》she repeated, seemingly finding comfort in the thought that the consequences wouldn’t be permanent.
He caught on that, and doubled down
《Yes. We are all already death, this blood shall find its way back into their veins. Doth not let it stain thine peace 》
She looked up at him, a dim smile on her lips, but it was enough to make something in his chest buzzle like a firefly
《Thank you 》
She was... so beautiful.
Some moments went by, and after another glass of water Carmilla had calmed enough to let him help her.
He used a pail to pour some warm water all over her clothes, and then some soap to try and fight the stickiness. Unfortunately her pants had been jeans, and she had been unable to pull them down with just one hand while keeping herself up with the other, as tired and sore as she was, so in the end he had ended up doing so himself... a quite awkward affair that neither was eager to repeat.
At least the shirt had come off without too many issues, leaving Carmilla in her underwear and the towel that Zestial had given her to cover up.
All in all, they had managed without incidents, and Zestial counted it as a win, even if now he would definitely be unable of ever wash the feeling of her soft skin off his fingers... the longing would be a torment, but it didn’t matter in the great scheme of things, not when Carmilla had just trusted him with herself, even if reluctantly.
He watched her sit a bit straighter, goose-bumps forming on her arms now that the hot water had made her more sensitive to the chilly air
《I shall rinse thine hair until there’s no dirt left, alright? Doth not panic, I have no intention of hurting thee, I promise. 》
She nodded, turning to him
《I believe you 》
He couldn’t help but smile as he started his work
《Good... stay still for me, dear. Perfect 》 he said, as he worked the soap into the curls, doing his best not to get lost into the sensation. He rinsed her hair over and over again, until the water turned from red to brown and from brown to clear《it’s done, it’s all done 》
She rested her back against the tub, clearly drained. He would have to make sure she didn’t fall asleep
《Thank you 》She gratefully muttered, her eyes fluttering close for a moment before she managed to force them open once more.
She was so... endearing. So cute, all sleepy and warm... He wanted to hold and kiss her until she felt well again, serene and safe.
He set these thoughts aside for another day
《How art thou feeling? 》
《I’m okay. I’m better, at least. 》
《Art thou sure thou can be alone? 》
《Yes. 》
《Then, I shall go get thee a change of clothes.》he stalled on the threshold for another moment《 Mikael will be right outside if thou need any aide 》
《Alright, thank you 》
Once outside, with a well closed door between himself and Carmilla, he finally allowed the tension inside him to melt. Of course, most of it had been worry... but not all. Part of it tickled like a feather, leaving him with sensations never experienced before, and he couldn’t make sense of them. Nothing revolutionary had happened, but he could tell that, from then on, things between him and Carmilla would somehow be different.
《Carmilla, do you hear me? 》Mikael asked from behind the door, his voice small and uncertain
《Strong and clear 》answered Carmilla, forcing herself to sound in less pain than she actually was
《Lord Zestial told me to stay outside unless you call, so I’ll wait here, okay? 》
《Yes. Thanks for your time, I owe you one 》
《Don’t mention it. Do you need anything? Shampoo? I’m sure we can ask Lauren for some. 》
《No, I’d rather if no one else got worried over nothing, I’m fine 》
Mikael had seen her, Zestial had seen her... it was already two too many for her taste. She had worked hard to gain the respect of the guys, she didn’t want to lose it over nothing.
Mikael, out of her sight but not of her earshot, shifted his weight from a foot to the other
《I’m afraid I already run my mouth about the ambush. 》he admitted, sheepishly
Well, wasn’t it great?
Carmilla groaned, but muttered an “it’s okay” all the same. Mikael had tried his best.
《I’m sorry, I didn’t know what else to do... 》 he apologised, before changing the topic《So... what kind of soaps does my lord have? Are there any frog scented ones? I’m curious! 》
It was her turn to lighten up, even letting out the smallest laugh
《Are you trying to make sure I don’t pass out in the bath? 》
《Is it working? 》he asked, and could imagine her shaking her head with fond resignation
《I could use a dryer. 》she admitted, after a moment of silence
《Will do! As soon as Lord Zestial comes back, I’ll ask him if he can drop me off at my place for a moment. 》
As if summoned, Zestial appeared behind him with a basket
《Doth thou need something? 》
Mikael got startled, but managed not to jump up in terror
《She needs a phon. It will take... five minutes top, boss. 》
Zestial nodded. He had assumed that they would simply have to use the fireplace, but this was probably for the best, given how long and dense her hair was
《Take thine time 》he said, preparing to unsummon the younger man 《use the spiders when thou’re ready 》
《Yes sir, thank you. My lord. Bye Millie! 》he saluted, before disappearing
《Millie? 》Zestial asked with a raised brow, amused
《My name is weird, most people mess it up most of the time, just let it be. And he’s a sweet kid, I don’t mind 》
《That he is... and he seems to have grown quite attached to thee. 》
《The last month has been stressful for him, and today he got scared. He will go back to normal in a bit 》she reflected, before asking《Why did you show up? 》
《Mikael was concerned about thine safety, and alerted me, even if not as quickly as the situation would have required. 》 He paused a moment, then continued, his voice lower《Thou should have called 》
《I can handle myself just fine without constant backup, thank you. I got out alive, after all 》she replied, stubborn.
《Thou got a concussion! If not to help in the fight, thou should have alerted me that thou were in need of medical care! 》
Zestial found his discontentment hard to hide, but she refused to go down without a fight
《It’s a mild one, I took worse when alive and got back up just fine. 》
《This is different 》 he protested, taking a deep breath. He didn’t need to, but it helped him calm down《They targeted thee because thou’re working for me, I have a duty to intervene to protect thee 》
《Is this curtesy reserved to thine owned souls as well? 》she snapped, feisty as always.
He liked that about her.
《Indeed. In centuries, only twice has someone been so stupid to attack those under mine command, and did not live to tell. 》he grinned, even if she couldn’t see him, flaring his powers around the room out of habit.
Carmilla stayed quiet for a moment, seemingly pondering his words. When she spoke, she did so in a soft voice, almost inaudible
《You’re quite unforgiving 》
《Only with mine enemies. 》 he assured, with a light frown. He had been in a bad mood for days, and finding her in a pool of blood hadn’t helped, but he still knew better than causing her further distress... it would be counterproductive. A change of subject was in order《This discourse is inappropriate for the circumstances, it’s very late. Art thou ready to come out? 》
《I am. I’m all wrapped up, you can come in.》 she said, seemingly relieved.
Bullet dodged.
《Perfect. Doth not worry, we shall sort thee out in a jiffy 》He didn’t really need to use the door, but he did so anyway, since it would probably startle her less.
Once inside, he wrapped her in a second big towel and helped her out of the tub. He had changed as well so to not get her dirty again, and he held her against his chest
《You’ll get all wet... 》she warned, trying to keep her hair away from him
《I doth not care, water won’t melt me 》he assured, but she still seemed worried
《Do you have an extra towel?》He got it for her, and she tied it around her head 《okay, this can work 》
He took it as a sign that she was ready, and started to take her elsewhere... a cup of tea was in order.
《Doth thou need anything else? Does thine head still hurt? 》
He asked, after having seated her on an armchair and handed her a warm mug that she gratefully accepted
《No, I’m fine. It’s just a slight concussion, I’m still coherent 》
《Art thou certain? I can call a doctor, it would put me more at ease 》
《I’d rather not. 》 she said, sounding nervous 《What about you? You sound tense 》
《I dislike seeing thee in pain... and I must admit, seeing thee so shaken unsettled me. 》He looked at her with concern, before moving to squeeze one of her hands《Art thou sure thou’re not hurt more than thou let transpire? 》
She understood the implication, but she didn’t acknowledge them fully – she was far too exhausted to have that conversation.
She deflected
《This is the second time I have killed someone since I arrived here. I know it’s only temporary, but I still hate it. 》
《Nothing else? 》
《Nothing a warm soak couldn’t solve. 》
She replied, cagey. He got the hint, and diverted his focus on the next point of interest of her statement... he also let go of her hand, although a bit reluctantly
《So. Thou doth not usually kill? 》
《Not if it can be avoided. Sometimes one must do what is necessary. 》
He had figured that much, given her behaviour, but it was all still quite vague
《May I ask how many people have thou killed in thine lifetime? Ere coming to hell, I mean. 》
《It’s quite the personal question, don’t you think? 》
Maybe it was
《Mine apologies, I meant no offence— 》he started, but she stopped him
《It’s alright 》 she sighed, trying really hard not to drift off《you can try to guess, if you like, it will keep me awake while we wait. 》
A game? He could work with this.
《With pleasure... I dare say, I dare say... fifteen? 》
《Nope. Why fifteen? 》she asked
《Thou died young. You dislike killing. Counting a person per year since adulthood, plus eventual double killings due to accomplishes, it seemed a fair esteem. 》he explained his reasoning.
She looked at him, her head slightly crooked on the right, as if she was thinking about something he had said
《Thirty-one is not that young. And, no, that’s not it.》
It was, but pointing that out would have been pointlessly cruel. He focused on guessing her body count
《So, it is less? 》
《Less. 》
《Between seven and ten, then. 》
《Go lower. 》
It was his turn of staring at her
《Did thou even ever kill anyone at all? 》
《I did. I think that’s why I’m here. 》
《Thou sound quite serene. 》he noted. She cared so much about human lives, even despicable ones, yet she appeared completely free of remorse. It was a rare thing to witness.
He shrugged, as if she had had plenty of time to think about it
《I did what had to be done, and I don’t regret it. If doing what I deemed right damned me to hell, so be it. 》
Zestial was once again out of his dept... what could he even say to someone who accepted their damnation with such grace?
《Thou’re a noble soul indeed, Carmilla. I hope thou art aware of that. 》
《Is it a nice way to say that you think I’m an idiot? 》
She smiled awkwardly, but he tightened her hands in his once more, urging her to look at him
《No, I truly think that thou art incredible. Being a bit idealistic is not necessarily a flaw. 》
Surprised, she turned, finally focusing on his eyes
《I’m not an idealistic. 》 she explained, hesitant, as if nobody had ever bothered to ask and then listen《I’m an extremely concrete person: there are people out there – women, children, even men – with no protection at all. Or you do something for them, or you’re no better of those who prey on them. 》
Who even was this woman? How had he been so lucky to meet her?
《In either case, thou art worth of admiration. I for sure shall give thee mine 》He said, an affectionate glint in his eyes that made her face light up with colour... he laughed softly at the sight, warmth spreading under his skin as well《Apologies, I did not mean to fluster thee 》
《I’m not flustered. 》 she protested《 You’re just... peculiar. 》
《Peculiar? 》he asked, sounding pleased, his long fingers moving up and down her wrists. She stared at them as if hypnotised.
Her skin was raw and broken... but in that moment, all felt so pleasant
《Yes. There’s something about you, but I can’t quite put my fingers on it. 》
《Well, I shall not stop thee from trying to get an hold of whatever thou desires, mine dear. On the contrary, thou hast all mine support. 》
She leaned towards him
《What a gentleman 》she almost whispered.
His heart had unexpectedly remembered how to jump up and down.
《Have thou ever doubted that? 》
Just as she was going to reply, a tiny blue spider climbed over his shoulder, and Zestial seemed to get a bit annoyed, even as he gently patted the small creature
《It’s Mikael. I shall be back in a moment 》
《Won’t you summon him? 》
《Doth thou want me to? 》He asked.
She shook her head.
《No, I don’t want to be a bother. He has already Lukas to worry about... and I don’t want him to see me half naked, if I can help it 》
On that, he wholeheartedly agreed. Even if she was completely bundled up in towels, there was no need for indiscreet eyes to pry into that weirdly soft moment
《Then I guess thou shall be all mine to take care of 》
《That’s not what— 》 she started, but he was gone before she could finish
《Presumptuous devil. 》she muttered, a small smile on her face
The atmosphere at Mikael and Lukas’ house had been... weird, to put it lightly.
Marcus just sat around with a mortified expression and a towel, trying to wipe what Zestial could only guess was soup off of his face and hair; Lauren had given him a polite bow, inquired about Carmilla, and gone back to cleaning the shards of a tureen from the floor. Lukas was not in the living room, and Mikael seemed to have barely calmed down after an heated argument.
All three seemed surprised in seeing him there. Zestial feigned not to notice the tension.
《Thou said the phon was ready? 》he asked, and Mikael hurried to hand the strange device to him.
《Thanks. I shall summon thee later to tie up any loose ends. 》
《Of course, my lord. 》
And with that, he left. His business was done, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to interfere in whatever confrontation was currently unravelling between his men… as long as Lauren was there, things wouldn’t escalate too badly anyway.
《I could have done this myself 》
《Thou could have. Yet, I’m here, so why not seize the chance? 》
Zestial was combing her hair, careful not to put any strain on the side of her head that hurt the most.
After retrieving the hairdryer, he had sat next to her and taken care of drying her hair so that her arms could rest, then he had put her on another couch in a different room – this one seemingly a bit more lived in, with a lit fireplace – and left her alone for a bit so she could finally change into a nightgown... and now he was there again, with his fingers running through her locks and his voice in her ears.
Her face felt a bit too hot, and she wasn’t sure she could blame it on the fire.
《The last person to brush my hair like this was my mother. 》she said, absentmindedly, as sleep started to make her tongue loose 《It’s been a very long while 》
《Did she... pass before thee?》
《Yes. She was only thirty-seven 》
Something in her chest tightened... she had always thought that her mother had died too soon, but until now she hadn’t realised that she hadn’t even made it to her age. Whatever she said about thirty-one not being “so young”, fact was that she had lived less than her own mother, and now would never get the chance of seeing her again, fix what was broken... had death been nothingness for everybody, at this point she wouldn’t have existed to be upset about it, but since she was still perfectly sentient but stuck in hell... well. She might not regret her life choices, but it was a new kind of pain, realising that not even death would ever reunite her family.
《Is she down here as well? 》Zestial asked, hesitant. He seemed to have read her expression quite well, but yet gave her space to let it out. She... appreciated him for it.
《She was a Saint, the most lovable person one could ever wish to meet... she must have gone straight to heaven. 》 she explained, with a melancholic little smile 《But that’s okay, life was tough, I’m glad she at least got to enjoy something better. And I’m glad she can’t see me now, she would be heartbroken. 》
All stayed quiet for a moment, and she fidgeted with her nightgown; it was black with purple ruffles, extremely long and with sleeves that reached well past her knees when not rolled up... it obviously belonged to Zestial himself, but it was both modest and comfortable, especially after having spent so much time in filthy clothes. She tightened the excess fabric around herself, looking for an hug that she could not have...
It took her by surprise, when Zestial put his hands on her shoulders... light, barely a squeeze, but still so grounding.
《She would not. I doth not know thine mother, yet no one could be displeased in seeing what a wonderful woman has their child turned into. 》 He said, making her turn and gently guiding her back against the couch《Now, lie down. 》
《I’m fine. 》She said, as he tucked her in under an heavy blanket
《Thou shall be on the morrow, after some rest. Us sinners can count on a fast healing, yet thine body still requires some care to recover. By then, thou shall have thine clothes back as well. 》
She sighed, closing her eyes, her head still pulsing even against the soft pillow.
《I’m almost fine, then 》she teased, trying to hide her sadness.
Zestial smiled, but stayed quiet. All he could do for her was done, and she couldn’t expect him to just stick around until she fell asleep...
But he didn’t leave.
He kept sitting next to her on the long couch, and she could feel his gaze on her... it wasn’t particularly off-putting. In fact, had they had a bit more confidence with one another, she would have probably put both her legs on his lap, in hope of relieving the fatigue;
As if on cue, he lifted the blankets to put another pillow under her ankles
《Thou shall be more comfortable so 》he started, then stalled, as if uncertain about continuing talking.
After a moment, he made up his mind
《I... understand, thine pain. Mine loved ones reside in the skies as well. Of course, I imagine things art slightly different... yet I know how it is, to mourn even after death. 》
Carmilla looked up at him from her spot. What could someone even say to this?
She sat up to put her hand on his shoulder in a quiet caress, hoping that her gesture could communicate more comfort than her words
《I’m sorry 》
《Doth not be. It has been a long time. 》 He dismissed, leaning forward to brush a strand away from her cheeks. He frowned at what he saw《They cut thine ear open. It shall heal by morning, but thou might have to get it pierced again. 》
She wouldn’t force him to dwell on a sore subject. She played along
《I had earrings when I arrived, maybe it will appear again on its own? 》
He shook his head
《Thou’re not regenerating from scratches. Thine appearance might slightly change. 》
《Okay 》she accepted his explanation, covering a yawn.
Her stubbornness made him smile, and he gently guided her under the covers once more
《Thou’re very tired. Please, rest. 》
《No lo soy》she muttered, her eyelids too heavy to stay open
《Eres! 》Zestial chuckled, and she was so exhausted she didn’t even realise he had answered her in Spanish.
All stayed quiet for a long while, and Zestial was almost sure she had fallen asleep, when she called
《Zestial? 》
《Yes, dearest? 》he answered, a bit surprised
《Thank you, for coming for me 》
《As many times as it’s needed, Carmilla. 》
As she finally drifted off, a tender smile refused to leave his fangs.
When he summoned Mikael again, he seemed much calmer, but Zestial still gestured for him to keep his voice down.
《She is asleep now, but will recover by morning. Thou did the intelligent thing, in alerting me. 》
《Yes my lord, thank you. 》
The other nodded, seemingly still tense. What was it today, that no one seemed capable of finding peace?
Zestial repressed a sigh, deciding instead to investigate the matter. He gestured for the boy to sit, and then handed him a cup of tea as he took his own seat
《What is tormenting thee now? I can feel it 》
Mikael spoke with uneasiness, his shoulders so tense they would soon turn sore
《My lord, you... aren’t mad at Carmilla for what happened, right? She had no choice but do as they ask 》
Zestial took a sip of his tea.
Being known as the Lord of fear was very advantageous, and he had spent centuries perfecting his reputation, but at times like these the title showed its downsides... the fact that he could tear souls apart with a finger didn’t mean he was a brute. He was a gentleman, first and foremost
《I’m not unreasonable – had she even stayed by her own volition, I would have had no right to be upset, she’s a free soul. Nonetheless, loyalty is something I always appreciate. 》he replied calmly
《Thank you, my lord... 》Mikael kept looking at anything but him
《Yet 》 he interrupted, sparing the poor boy the awkwardness 《I would like to know what exactly happened before you two got separated 》
《I was a coward— 》
《Please. A report, not a confession, I’m no priest. 》
He stopped him again. He wanted some answers, it was two in the morning and far too late to start a whole “repentatio”. No one important had died, it was time to clear things up so he could decide how to proceed.
Mikael started again with a deep breath
《We were walking, and they ambushed us. They threatened to get rid of me, but Carmilla managed to convince them to let me go with the promise I wouldn’t run to you. I wanted to stay, but she insisted 》
《Makes sense, thou art a terrible fighter 》
《Yes, my lord. I know. 》
From the boy’s dejected expression, maybe he had put it a bit too bluntly. Maybe he needed to get out of the house more, his social skills had gotten far too rusty
He tried a different approach
《Thou hast other qualities though. Doth thou remember the day we met? Thou accidentally shoot thyself in the foot 》
Mikael looked directly at him for the first time, perplex on where he was going with that
《How to forget. Made quite the fool out of myself. 》
《Well... henchman was not thine vocation, and it was quite simple to see, yet thou still had some dignity. 》
Mikael eyed him with suspicion
《I did? 》
Zestial nodded, satisfied of having his attention
《Before wounding thyself, thou were still in conditions to run, yet stayed behind for thine friend. I must say: it takes some courage to try and shoot an Overlord, fail, injury one self and yet still have the presence of mind to offer a deal. Stupid, yet brave, and thou could have very well saved Lukas’ life 》
《I didn’t think you remembered that day so well 》Mikael didn’t know what to make of that conversation anymore.
Zestial offered him a knowing grin
《Of course I doth. I’m the keeper of thine soul, right? I couldn’t possibly forget the most essential thing I learned about thee 》
《That I’m... stupidly brave? 》
《Hat thou hast something to live for. It’s more than thou might realise 》 he explained, and then turned to the big clock hung on the wall《It’s getting late, thou should go. Carmilla’s clothes are in the bucket. 》
《Yes, sir, of course, sir. I’ll take those home and wash them, so she’ll have them back by morning... 》
He went to get it and checked the content, but then turned to Zestial again, confused
《My lord, sir. Her shirt is not there.》
《I kept it. 》 He explained, summoning a different bucket《I shall use the blood on it to trace whoever dared to hurt one of mine people. This can’t go unpunished. 》
Mikael looked at him, his confusion turning in what Zestial could only identify as curiosity
《I thought that miss Carmine wasn’t yours, my lord. 》
《She does not belong to me. Yet, I deem her under mine protection. 》 He grimaced, looking at the ruined shirt 《This garment will not survive mine laboratory 》
《The jeans will be cleaned, but the flowers will never be the right colour or stay up again. 》 Mikael added, feigning casualty 《 It’s a pity, she had just bought this stuff... I guess she will have to do some more shopping soon. 》
Zestial turned to him
《Doth thou think they are still selling these? 》
《Well... the outfit was new, so probably yes. From the tag it should be from the big mall on the verge of the border. 》
He got an idea
《Mikael 》
《Yes, my lord? 》
《Go to that mall and get her new ones. Identical, if thou art able. Or send Lauren, I doth not care, simply get her a replacement. I shall pay for it, they targeted her because of our association, it’s only fair. 》
A mischievous smirk crossed Mikael’s face, but it was hard to pinpoint. More satisfied than malignant, so Zestial decided against addressing it immediately... the day had been long enough.
《Of course. I’ll ask around to Lauren, or Marcus...》
《I doth not care about who goes, simply get the job done 》he dismissed.
Mikael jumped at attention, weirdly excited from this apparently simple task
《Of course, my lord, at your command! 》
1st October
The rest of the night had been blissfully uneventful.
Carmilla had stayed asleep until late morning, giving Mikael the chance of going to the mall, get the replacement clothes and drop them off without her being the wiser; Zestial wasn’t trying to trick her, it was just an omission to spare her any uneasiness, no need to make a big deal out of it... in the remote scenario of her getting suspicious, he was fairly sure he could still get away without upsetting her. One could even look at his little white lie as his way of not being obnoxious... it was a gamble he was willing to take.
So, he had folded everything on a chair and let her rest as he thought about what he could cook for their lunch. Probably fresh bread and cheese with some sort of soup... plain things that even Carmilla could eat without issues.
She looked so peaceful, all wrapped in the fluffiest blanket he had managed to find, and he felt like he could grow fond of the sound of her breath, enough to listen to it for the rest of eternity, given the chance... he tried not to stall around her more than necessary, even if the temptation was big.
He needed to get someone to clean the other fireplaces around the house, so next time there would be a more private place for her... such a big Palace, and his neglect had ended up turning most rooms unserviceable during the colder months.
It was truly a shame.
He was thinking about what other things he should probably get back in touch with, when Carmilla started to stir.
She turned on her left, then to the back of the sofa, gripping the blanket and hiding further underneath... then she realised she was somewhere unfamiliar and jumped to a sitting position, still clutching the blankets and scanning the room for any potential threats.
《Well awaken, Carmilla. How doth thou feel? 》he greeted from his armchair
She stared at him wide eyed for a moment, before recalling why she was there and relaxing
《Weird. I feel like I should be sore, and I’m, but at the same time I’m not 》 she answered, holding the covers up to her chest, in clear embarrassment 《Good morning... is it morning? 》
《More like lunchtime. Here, drink this 》he offered her a cup, then walked away, careful not to look in her direction out of respect
《What is it? 》she asked, her tone low-key horrified
He honestly couldn’t blame her: that thing stunk, it was universally agreed upon, but made up for its stench with its usefulness
《A potion... it’s extremely rich in nutrients, and it shall make thee some good, even if its scent is quite unappealing. Consider it a “get better” gift. 》
《Thank you. 》She said, sceptical. Still, she held her nose and drank it in one gulp, the absolute recoil plain of her face... the indignation was the one of a cat who had been feed some kind of citrus, and it was honestly hilarious
Even if he sympathised, he couldn’t contain a small laugh, earning himself a cutting glare
《What’s so funny? 》
《Apologies, thine expression was quite amusing. Doth thou wish for something to wash the taste off? 》he offered, to pacify his disgruntled guest
《Do you have any coffee? 》she asked, obviously still sour
《That is out of question, I’m afraid. Thou should keep in mind that thou just had a concussion, miss Carmine 》
《Are we at “miss” again? 》She looked at him, slightly confused. He was... slightly confused as well.
《I fail to follow 》
They stared at each other
《You’ve been calling me mostly “Carmilla” Since yesterday. Why the switch? 》
Oh Lucifer. What was the protocol there?
《Apologies, I’m afraid I got a bit taken away with mine concern, I meant no disrespect 》he said, nervously. Was she upset? Angry? Had he taken too many liberties?
Carmilla just shrugged with a smile that soothed his nerves
《If I can be honest, at this point I think that we can completely drop the “miss”, no one ever called me that anyway. 》
Did that mean what he thought it did?
《Art thou giving me permission to address thee as “Carmilla”? 》
《I am. Or is it too much for an old soul like you to handle, sir? 》She teased
Was that so? Two could play that game
《Oh dear, doth not be mistaken: I can handle a lady’s request perfectly fine... one is never too old to treat a pretty name like the jewel it is 》he replied, leaning on her to switch her cup with another, and brushing a curl away from her face as he stood up.
From her flustered expression, he had played his cards right... if only his heart could stop dancing in his throat, all would have been fine.
《No need to be so… poetic, about it. It’s just a name. 》she tried to dismiss, staring at her cup. She was so... delectable, even when shy.
Why? He had never been fond of bashfulness, but as he looked at her, eyes hiding under long lashes, fangs toying with her lower lip, he was forced to admit that maybe even it had its charms...
He kind of wished it was him, the one biting her mouth
The thought was so intrusive and inappropriate that he almost teleported away, his well-practiced self-control his only saving grace. He had to bring his mind back on the right track, before he did something stupid
《Names hold power, mine dear, doth not forget that. 》 he explained《In fact, given thine generosity, I must insist that thou drop the formalities as well. 》
《Do you want me to call you “Zestial”? Seriously? 》
《Thou wish me to call thee Carmilla, right? 》
《Yes, but, you’re an Overlord... isn’t it inappropriate? 》
《“Zestial” is the name I choose for mineself, and now I wish for thee to use it... I must insist, in fact. 》seeing her doubtful expression, he added 《we may keep our titles in public, and our conviviality shall stay discreet, if it pleases thee so. 》
That finally seemed to convince her
《Thank you, it works for me… Zestial. 》
A bright smile on her face. Warmth between his lungs, more than his skeletal body should have ever allowed for.
Zestial discreetly gulped.
Yes. His plan, whatever it was, had definitely backfired.
Changing into proper clothes had been a relief. She hated being barefoot, and stepping back into her combat boots felt like taking a step back into her comfort zone.
She examined her lobe in the bathroom – it had healed perfectly, without leaving a single scar, just like her ankle. She still felt sore in her lower back, fatigued more than normal... but it probably was just the lack of proper meals. Not eating had been the quickest solution, but she needed to figure out something else long term... soon, but not today.
Zestial had insisted she stayed for lunch, promising it would be a simple assortment of soup, bread and cheese, and she felt compelled to oblige him, since he had gone to such lengths to take care of her... he was a strange man, but he had been good to her, and she owed him at least some gratitude. Even if she dreaded the idea of consuming a whole meal, she would have to suck it up and be polite.
She undid the last of her braids and, after taking a deep, steading breath, went to join him in the tiny sunroom.
The lunch was less dreadful than she had imagined – a spread of different breads, especially fresh baguettes and a light spinach soup, both things that she found herself able to stomach with little issues.
Zestial seemed immensely pleased with himself as he watched her eat, his plate polished long before hers and trusty teacup within hand reach. They stayed mostly silent, simply enjoying the quietness until, after she had finished her soup, he finally asked if she was willing to tell him what exactly had happened.
While she would have rather not, she saw no point in denying him: everyone involved was already dead, she doubted he would go haunt them more just because she had gotten a couple of scratches, and honestly, she wanted to let that weight off of her chest... so she had told him pretty much everything, omitting only their threats to assault her and the insults to his person
《At that point, I had almost got out scot-free, but I forgot that people here can have extra limbs... functional extra limbs. A wasp like demon managed to yank me by the hair and against the floor because I thought I had tied them up properly... I hadn’t. I think that’s where I got the concussion. At that point, I managed to grab a metal tube...and things got bloody. I would rather skip the details. The final ambush was from their leader. I managed fairly well. 》
He noted her discomfort, and shifted the subject
《Doth not bee harsh on thyself. Bug demons tend to have such characteristics, yet thou had no way of knowing 》
《Do you? 》
She asked, catching him off guard, but he was not displeased
《I beg thine pardon? 》
《Do you have extra limbs, you know... 》she gestured vaguely 《under the wings. Cape. I’m sorry, your body is a bit hard to pin point 》
《I hadn’t realised thou were paying attention 》he smirked, and she huffed
《Don’t flatter yourself, I pay attention to everything 》
《Of course thou doth 》
《Avoiding my question, lord Zestial? 》she baited.
His grin grew wider
《How could I, leaving such a lady unsatisfied would be indecent indeed. For starters, I’m not a bug demon. My form is an hybrid between bat, spider and humanoid characteristics. 》 he explained, with a sly smile《As thou hast correctly observed, I have wings. 》
She nodded, observing attentively as he rose to extend his right one
《This kind of prevents me from having a stable additional set of arms... I’m able to materialise an extra pair, that is not naturally part of mine sinner form, contrary to mine wings. Those arms are weaker and more uncoordinated, unworthy of the expense of magic and energy required to summon them, especially since I can rely so heavily on mine spiders and shadows if I feel the need for extra hands.》
《So... wings mean no extra limbs? 》she asked, trying to identify some kind of pattern. It was a good idea, even if things were not that plain
《No. It’s a good general rule, yet it has plenty of exceptions, especially for non-magically inclined sinners... they’re less powerful, and not a grand threat, but they can have more enhanced physical abilities – like, extra limbs. 》
《Flattering 》
She said, deadpan, and he seemed to only now realise he had been speaking to a non-magical sinner about how magical sinners were inherently better off... which wasn’t exactly a lie, but it didn’t need to be put so bluntly either
《Apologies, Carmilla, I didn’t mean to diminish thine abilities in any way. 》
《Don’t worry, no need to tiptoe around the truth. 》
《What doth thou mean? 》
《I’m a good fighter as long as it’s about weapons and physical strength, I know nothing about magic... and it seems quite essential down there. 》
She tried to act nonchalantly, but he could see that the matter worried her, and it simply wouldn’t do. She had him in her corner, he would watch out for her
《Thou art extremely smart and resourceful, and proved it once more by taking advantage of the weak spots of thine enemies. Magic simplifies life, yet it is not a requirement: with more experience and better equipment, it shall be made up for 》
《But no gun can win against magic, right? Ars goetias don’t fear weapons 》
True. Still, that didn’t make them invulnerable
《They fear other things, more subtle and vicious. On that regard, I shall watch thine back for now, but all shall be easier, once thou have built thyself a fear inducing reputation 》he assured.
She bit her lips, as if forced into an awful choice
《I’m not sure I’m willing to do what it takes... 》
《Then lie 》he said, as it was as plain as day 《Thou doth not need to commit heinous crimes to be respected, only for others to believe thou hast. What is whispered behind closed doors is so much more powerful and sinister than what is screamed in board daylight 》
She turned to him, reflecting on his advice with weird fascination. Of course, she was well aware that people lied to look better... but to look worse? And do so in such a conscious manner? It was... intriguing. Maybe not so dissimilar from her playing dumb when convenient, but still not something she was too familiar with
《You’re full of tricks 》she noted, an hint of admiration transpiring from her voice.
It was enough to make Zestial glow with pride
《And generous enough to share some with thee, as long as thou maintain some discretion on the matter 》he winked.
She was sincerely at a loss
《Why are you so kind to me? What do you have to gain from it? 》
《Why art thou so fair with me? 》
Her eyes widened at his retort, and he chuckled, sitting back in his chair to enjoy another sip of his tea. He could see the mechanisms move in the poor dear’s mind as she came to the realisation that he was speaking the truth – she was fair to everybody, and it included him.
It was quite the entertaining spectacle, but he had no desire to use her as such
《Thou adjust thine attitude to mine actions, doth not think it went unnoticed. I find it very refreshing 》 he explained《Beside thine talents, beside thine mind... thine character is one I admire, and I guess I wish to prove that, should thou give me thine loyalty, it wouldn’t be misplaced... Even if thou distrust me for now. 》
《I don’t distrust you... well, I do, but at the same time not? I’m just... confused. You aren’t exactly a black and white figure, you know? 》
《I’m the Lord of Fright, I’m obviously on the dark side. Doesn’t mean I wish to drag thee down with me 》he joked, but her expression stayed serious
《I’m in hell just like you, you can’t corrupt me much further 》 she reflected《 I have met many people since arriving down there, and most of them aren’t bad... well, not eternal damnation kind of bad, at least for my standards. 》
《Doth thou judge me worthy of hell? 》 the question escaped him before he could stop himself. Part of him felt ashamed of having put her in such a spot, but it was too late to backtrack... he tried at least to put her at ease《Doth not hesitate, either answer shall be welcome. 》
《I’m not a Saint, or an angel, and sure thing I’m not god, I have no right and no means to judge you 》her voice was firm, deeply honest.
Could a soul as bright as her have truly bestowed no judgement upon him?
《Thou art too opinionated to have no thoughts on me 》
《Oh, I have many. 》she smirked, taking a sip from her own cup.
Curiosity would kill him.
《Would thou be willing to share at least one? 》
She pretended to mull it over for a moment, before deciding to indulge him
《People are complicated 》
He nodded, his gaze fixed on her
That much was common knowledge, but he still listened as if she was going to reveal him the deepest secrets of the three realms... a mind like hers could have found a pearl even amongst the dirt
《And you, my dear Zestial, are still a man under all your reputation and power. Maybe one day I could discover your true character, but it would take quite the intimate relationship, so I don’t think this particular truth will ever be mine to own 》
《Why, mine dear 》he smiled, his eyes glinting with fascination 《A woman like thee should never say never 》
She had returned home fairly happy, feeling still a bit under the weather but not exactly bad. She felt a lot like taking a nap, though, and it was quite out of character for her... but it had been an eventful couple of months, maybe her body just needed some extra rest. She would wash the dishes that had piled in the sink in her absence and go lay down for a bit.
Her plans got pretty much annihilated as soon as Pica realised she was home, and came to greet her with another of her questioning sessions that, by now she had learned that much, were her way of looking out for her
《So you’re alive. Where have you been? 》
《Party. Sorry, it was a sprint of the moment, or I would have asked you to come. 》
Carmilla lied on the spot. She was getting good at this again.
《A party? 》the other insisted, unconvinced.
《Yes. It was fun. 》 She replied, trying to sound more casual than cagey.
《You went to a party in hell that lasted the whole night, and came back home smelling of soap and with ironed clothes? 》
《I crashed at a friend’s house 》
Maybe this once she hadn’t properly thought this through.
《Mmmhh-mmm》 Pica looked at her like a mother would a child that, with hands still covered in chocolate, tried to deny having eaten the cookies 《Carmilla, you’re a bold faced liar 》
She felt her blood go cold, as she hurried to salvage the situation, even if at the moment she wasn’t even sure of what or how her friend knew
《No, it isn’t how it looks! 》
Pica gave her a conspiratorial grin, and leaned against the small counter. Her relaxed demeanour didn’t match the reaction she had feared, maybe she didn’t know of Zestial, or was happy as long as she kept her soul to herself...
《Spit it out. Is he cute? 》
《... What? Who?》
Had she just asked if Zestial was cute?
Carmilla looked at her with wide eyes, and Pica laughed
《The boy you hooked up with! 》 She announced, triumphant 《I’m not blind. You dressed up cute, you disappeared from afternoon to afternoon, you have the dumbest smile... I know there’s someone. And maybe this wasn’t even the first time you met him... you haven’t been to any party, you are seeing a guy! 》
That was... so completely wrong and unexpected, but at the same time so plausible, that Carmilla almost busted out laughing. All her messages, secret outings, even the weird stuff that she at times borrowed from Zestial... it made sense that Pica’s first guess hadn’t been “cooperation with the oldest living Overlord and his crew” but “hook-up”.
It was actually a good cover, for sure more manageable on the long term than whatever Rif was currently coming up with, and so Carmilla seized her chance
《Well, I’m busted! 》She fake-confessed with a nervous laugh, that Pica mistook for embarrassment.
Anticipating some fun at the expenses of her friend, she pressed further
《So, is he cute? 》
《He is... fairly attractive 》Carmilla pondered her words carefully, a sincere blush rising to her cheeks at the memory of Zestial’s long fingers against her heated skin.
Why was he of all people in her mind now?! It was... so inappropriate. He wasn’t even her usual type, with his eccentric ways and theatrical appearance... all quite intriguing, she had to admit, his whole aesthetic scratching a spot in her brain she didn’t even know was there.
She shook her head, suddenly very aware of Pica’s presence and embarrassed of her own subconscious ideas.
At least her friend seemed blissfully ignorant of her predicament, and continued her teasing
《And is he good in bed? 》
She asked, with an impish grin
《Pica! 》 Carmilla half yelled, now even more flustered《that’s none of your business! 》
《Okay, okay, keep your secrets 》she laughed and then moved again to grab something in the fridge, obviously satisfied of having gotten a reaction from her eternally level headed friend《just remember to always use a condom. Just because you can’t have kids anymore, it doesn’t mean you wanna catch whatever else usually goes around down here. AIDS is a pain to deal with, and none of us has time for it anyway... why are you looking at me like that? 》
Pica’s observation had been a clearly offhand one, with no intent to hurt her. Uttered in an almost mundane tone, as if she had told her to grab an umbrella because it was raining acid outside, and having to throw away clothes would be a nuisance... her friend had obviously thought nothing of it, but the implications of her statement were still enough to shatter something inside Carmilla.
Something she had forgotten was even there.
《Why did you say that I can’t have kids? What made you think that? 》she asked, her voice trembling a bit
《Carmilla, we’re sinners! 》Pica tried to laugh, but she had started to look uneasy as well.
Carmilla was confused about what was going on
《I know, but I don’t see how my particular sin would make me a bad parent... like, not now, of course not now, but eternity is long, if I can make it out alive 》
Pica had turned paler than a ghost
《Oh fuck. You’re serious.》
《Yes, I’m... don’t panic, I’m not pregnant! 》She tried to reassure, as the other girl started pacing up and down.
《Of course you’re not! 咳, 咳, 我怎么这么糊涂! 》
Her words made Pica alt abruptly, the woman pulling on her long pink hair as if her sanity depended on it
Carmilla absolutely didn’t understand a word of what Pica had just said, but she didn’t need a translator to figure out the very controlled panic that had just been unleashed
《Pica... 》she called, but was once again interrupted
《Sit down. I need you to sit down now. 》
《What, why? What are you doing? 》
《We need some tea 》Pica explained, grabbing the water boiler and an old teapot from a shelf
《I have never seen you drink anything that wasn’t a sugary abomination, and now you want tea? 》
《I don’t want tea. We need tea, that’s different. 》
《Okay. What do I— 》
《Just. Just sit. Call Rif, tell him you’re not going in tonight. 》
She ordered once more, seemingly exasperated, and Carmilla finally obeyed, at this point on edge herself.
《No need, whatever this is I’m sure we will manage in time 》
《I’ll text him later. 》 Pica dismissed《During difficult conversations, do you want privacy or the whole squad to bawl your eyes out? 》
《Privacy. 》
《Good choice, me too 》the other nodded, setting two cups and the teapot in front of them, before plopping herself next to her
《Okay. So. 》 She started《Do you remember the whole being dead thing? 》
《Yes. It’s not a constant thought, but, like... I’m aware. 》Carmilla nodded, perplexed. Where was this going?
《And that we’re in hell, and that it’s extremely crowded down here? 》
《Yes. Of that I’m aware every second of every day. 》she grimaced at that, thinking about all the chaos that surrounded their apartment
《We’re being punished, you know. 》Pica reminded, way too gently for her personality.
Carmilla was starting to hate it
《I know. 》 she confirmed again, a bit impatient《What’s the point? Do we like... need permission or something to have kids? 》
Pica seemed unable to look her in the eyes anymore
《Carmilla... we can’t have kids. We’re all barren, sterile – men, women and anything in between. There’s nothing that can be done to change that. 》
And just like that, the bomb was dropped.
There was a painfully long moment of silence.
《But – how? 》
《I don’t know how. But it’s how things are down here... I’m sorry. 》
Pica curtly replied. She glanced at her for a moment, but then looked away again.
Carmilla sat perfectly still. The temperature in the room hadn’t changed, but she felt like she was slowly freezing from the inside.
Heavy, and at the same time fragile as glass. Crushed and physically sick, like she had been poisoned...
Lead.
She felt like her belly was suddenly full with it, her womb animated, forced to betray her against its own will. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, she wanted to destroy something with those hands too big and that now would forever stay empty, she wanted to go grab god by his beard – he had to be a man, to have inflicted on her something like this – and throw her pain in his face until he was forced to acknowledge it, feel it, experience her same sufferings at least once in his eternal all powerful existence outside of time and space...
She wanted to let it all out even if it meant looking crazy, smash something and then lay in bed and sleep the rage off until this turned out to be all a nightmare...
But instead, she stayed in her place, apathetic.
《Okay. 》
She simply acknowledged. Pica seemed concerned.
《You don’t look particularly okay. 》
《I am. 》 she replied, calm as still water《This is on me, I should have figured it out. The only children I have seen around have been imps and hellhounds, and no one worried about sinners’ kids before the extermination. It was stupid of me, to not piece everything together. 》
《But... you didn’t want kids, right? You’re thirty-one, you had plenty of time when you were alive, isn’t it a relief that you won’t have to worry about getting knocked up anymore? 》
《I guess you got a point 》
《Of course I do, babies are so overrated! They are expensive, and they cry all day long, you can’t take them anywhere... trust me, you dodged a bullet. If you ever babysat you would agree! 》Pica tried to cheer her up.
It was quite pointless.
《Indeed. 》
《Let go of the long face! Hook ups with no consequences, isn’t it great? 》she smiled nervously 《if you give me a smile, I’ll share with you my secret stash of alcohol. I even have wine, the good one! 》
《Thank you, Pica, but I’m fine, really. I appreciate the offer, tho. 》
Carmilla got up, grabbed her jacket and headed for the door
《Where are you going? 》
《I think I need a walk. Some fresh air will make me good. 》
Outside, the smell of the streets made her stomach twist.
Notes:
Story nothes
咳, 我怎么这么糊涂！(Hāi, wǒ zěnme zhème hútu! ) = Oh, how could I be so stupid!
There are two references in this chapter– one to Oscar Wild and one to Epic the musical. Can someone find them?
Also. I'll soon post some drawings where Carmilla is wearing some of the outfits that I mention at times. I'll add the links here.
Author note
My dear darlings.
I will use this note to say something about the length of my chapters (this one is 18.000 words, and I really hadn't seen it coming).When I started writing , I thought I would stay on the 2000/5000 words per chapter, but found myself unable to.
You see... Zestial and Carmilla both have the potential of being such complex characters, and I want to explore it fully.
I could have skipped half of this chapter, and written "Zestial helped Carmilla get cleaned" instead of showing it... but it would have felt wrong. Like robbing you all (and myself) of the growing tenderness between these souls.This is why I decided to keep writing detailed scenes, even if the chapters are getting longer... I think the quality of the story gains from it, and even if I know I'm still learning, I want to gift you the best possible version of my fanfictions.
I thank you all for the perseverance and the feedback.
Tons of love,
Mentha.
Chapter 12: 11– Of lost things (the pain of missed chances)
Summary:
Carmilla isn't doing well mentally, Pica shows us why she has magic hair, everyone is worried about something, Zestial gifts us a "The beauty and the beast moment", Carmilla’s pants are too tight and she needs a new outfit for her date.
Everything sprinkled with trauma, of course.
(Was there a better way to sum up this chapter? Probablyyes, but I've been working on it for so long, this seems the only fitting one– nonsensical and confusing but weirdly straight to the point, just like my life.)
Notes:
So...
I'm back from the land of the dead.
Last time I updated it was December, and I'm very sorry for the delay... First I had a lot on my hands, between study and unfinished project, then I came back to my university city and had to deal with a weird grief in my own weird way... how do you explain that you can't mourn a person because they disowned you long ago, and you have already cried their share of tears, but that you're still sad, and miss what could have been? How do you make peace with the fact that someone died despising you?
I wish I could throw my heart at the sea, let the fishes eat it, maybe I'd feel lighter... but I can’t, and I keep dreaming her shadow, that wants to drag me down as I cry.
It's a bit of a lot, but not that important. I'll get over it, as wind always does.I found comfort in this chapter... or more correctly, in this half chapter. In fact, it was coming out so long I decided to split it and post what I was done with, because I think you all have been waiting way to long.
No particular desclamairs for this chapter... maybe look out for the derealisation, and the grief, but nothing excessive here.
I hope you will enjoy, I poured my soul into this, but I'm still worried you'll find it boring.
An hug to Mary that graduated, and to everyone else that finally accomplished what they were looking forward to... and foe who is still waiting, it's okay: I'm lost too 💜
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
11– Of lost things (the pain of missed chances)
Carmilla wandered the streets, lost.
She was too tired to go far, so she mostly slithered from an alley to another until she found a quiet roof. Her body went slack on the concrete terrace, and she sat in a corner, hugging her legs as she kept telling herself not to cry– It would have been utterly pathetic.
Of course they were all barren. Children are a blessing, aren’t they? Why should she have expected a blessing in hell. Why should god have damned innocent souls to the eternal pit just to give sinners some happiness. She hadn’t had children while alive, and now it was too late... and if she regretted it, she had no one to blame but herself.
She had been told over and over again that she was getting older, that she needed to settle down and start a family, but the moment had never seemed right to her. Never enough money, never enough time, always too much stress, too many people to tend to... she should have seized her chance while she still had it, but honestly, how could she have been a mother, while busy being everything else?
The truth was, she couldn’t really complain, could she? All in all, she had been lucky, not to have kids. It would have been a lose-lose situation anyway.
Had she even gotten pregnant as soon as her body had allowed her to, and birthed a child by sixteen, what would have then been of it? Orphaned as a teen, left ward of a State unequipped to take care of it, with no financial help and probably little support from extended family... she certainly would have tried to save up for her own child's future, but there was only so far that a detective’s salary could stretch... if she had somehow still managed to attend the academy, graduate and stay hired while juggling a toddler on her own. Rubén wasn’t a bad man, but he already had his hands full, and she knew he would have been even less welcoming, had she showed up to his doorstep with a baby instead of a pay check... and then there was Magdalene.
What would have her sister said? Called her an idiot, sure, but Carmilla liked to think that she would still have tried to help her out, at least with some money. Blood had always been important to her, after all... but realistically, what would have it changed?
As a teen Carmilla had been so vulnerable, that who knows with who would she have ended up trapped... in the best-case scenario, she would have been a single mum with no education and no prospects. She didn’t like that picture.
What if she had had a kid later on, then? With Alejandro, Todd or even Daniel?
She felt dirty admitting that, but these three were the most reliable men she had ever dated, and she trusted none to take care of a child on their own. Daniel would have tried, maybe, but he simply disliked kids so much, that their family would have been rooted in resentment... and honestly, it was already hard to cope with the whole “being dead” thing, the thought of being forever separated from her baby would have driven her to insanity.
Knowing that out there her own child had been left to fend for themselves would have been unbearable. Even the hypothesis was enough to make her chest ache.
No, Carmilla needed to stop the drama and see how lucky she had been, to never become a mother: it had spared her tons of pain. She had helped raise her nephews, and now they were all old enough not to need her anymore, she had saved enough for Junior to study music, made sure those kids always had mended clothes and decent grades... even outside her family, she had taught ballet to little girls, and given her free time to after school programs. She had arrested predators, saved hundreds of lives from human trafficking, broken skin and bones to never leave anyone behind... and where strength and her gun couldn’t reach, she had cooked, and cleaned and sang and cared and given, given all there was to
Never a mother, but a teacher, a guardian, an aunt, a protector. She had made someone happy, if not herself, and she thought she could live with it. There was no point in missing what she couldn’t have anymore, and she didn’t regret not having forced a child into a life of insecurity– that hardship had been only hers.
Then, why didn’t her eyes stop burning?
3 October, Thursday night
A trapezium of cold light spilled in the dark living room as the door opened with a squeak, its hinges in desperate need of some oil.
She would do that tomorrow, another thing to add to her list. Another thing not to think about the lead in her womb, about that deserved loss. Not to think at all would have been a blessing, one of the many she would forever be denied
《Carmilla? It’s one in the damn morning, what the hell are you doing in the bathroom? 》
Carmilla turned to her roommate, and to Pica she seemed a doe blinded by headlights.
《Sorry. Lost track of time 》
《I can see it... oh fuck. What in Lucifer’s name is that? 》She walked in, resting her hand on the wall only to retreat it immediately as it touched something cold and creamy
《Dye. 》
Her voice was as empty as her gaze. It was bad.
Pica had never been good at comfort– the only person she had ever held was her brother. She wasn’t sweet, she wasn’t generous, and she didn’t know what to do, when seeing Carmilla like this hurt something inside of her.
She had no idea on how to soothe nightmares, she only knew how to shake people awake, but they had no one else to call and Carmilla had been there for her when she needed it. She forced her voice into something witty, letting her no-nonsense attitude mellow the sourness of her soul... she was not good at this, but she needed to try
《Yes. And why is it more on your arms than your hair? Why are you even dying your hair? 》
The other gave an half shrug, looking around as if only now noticing the state of disarray their sink versed in
《An experiment, I wanted to check something... never mind. I didn’t take in account that my hair now is different from when I was alive... I messed up, I’m sorry, I’ll just wash this out and do something about it tomorrow morning 》
Well, with that she could help. Hair was safe territory, something she knew all about. It could work.
《Oh no. Or we salvage this now or you’ll have to get a drastic haircut 》
《Doesn’t seem too bad compared to washing this mess off... do we have any scissors? 》
Carmilla seemed tired enough to seriously consider it, so Pica swatted her behind the head, throwing her scissors to the side for good measure
《Fuck no. Sit down, hand me the box, we can still fix it 》
《But you were sleeping... 》
《And now I’m awake. Gimme that 》 she ordered, grabbing it before Carmilla could comply– she didn’t even seem aware of the bag at her feet《at least you got a decent brand. How many boxes did you buy? 》
《I’m not sure. I let the clerk handle it... I think it’s black 》
《Black indeed. Imp’s shade, but it will suit you. She gave you five boxes, we can work with it. Was she a succubae? They are always the nicest. 》
《I think so. 》
Pica sighed
《Your brain ain’t braining, dolly. Let me grab you a chair and I’ll sort out this disaster 》
Carmilla just nodded. At the moment, she couldn’t care less about what would happen to her body.
《You seem to know very well what you’re doing. Have you ever dyed hair before? 》
Pica’s fingers were gentle between her locks– untangling the mess, washing off the dye that she had carelessly applied in her haze. It helped bring her back to the present, even if barely.
The other woman puffed out some air, pausing her ministrations to look at her in the mirror, the pride of a professional shining through
《Have I ever? Girl it was my life. Worked for my auntie as a kid. Dyed my own hair pink for years after I moved. Did it in prison. I’m a fucking genius with hair! 》
Carmilla would forever marvel at how many things one could keep learning about another... she had never been particularly self-centred, but it was still weird, at times, to realise how deep everyone’s past was, full of controversies and pains and joys. She wished she could ask more, learn more... but she was too exhausted, and the chance sipped through her fingers.
《Seems I got lucky... I never got my hair dyed before. I should have thought twice before messing up a whole bathroom 》
《Now you think about it, bitch... but I guess you had to learn somehow. 》 Pica grinned, before focusing on her head once more《So, you liked your natural hair a lot? Or was it dress code or something? 》
She thought about it for a moment
《I loved my hair, especially when it finally grew long again, even if styling it was a chore in itself. It made me feel good, neat and ready... it still does, even if I’m relearning how to care for it. 》
《Is this why you went for the dye? You missed how you looked? 》Pica asked, genuinely curious.
That Carmilla would need to do something to process what she had learnt was to be expected, but she hadn’t thought she would have chosen a makeover. Dyeing all her hair black was at the same time so drastic and so... tame, compared to the many other coping mechanisms available in hell. That girl was weird.
《Not really. I always thought I would go white before thirty anyway... 》 she tried to joke, but it felt more like a confessiom《But yeah, I wanted to check if that was my curse... you know, being stuck with white hair forever. I don’t mind it, but forever is a long time to grow exasperated. 》
Pica paused again, looking at her in the mirror and then moving to directly meet her gaze. She seemed... appalled
《Carmilla 》
《Yes? 》
《Let me get this straight. You dyed your hair in the middle of a random Thursday night just to check if a rumour you heard somewhere was true? 》she asked, laughter threatening to win over her voice.
《Now that you put it like that it sounds a bit silly... wait. 》 Carmilla stopped, hesitant《What do you mean “a rumour”? Isn’t that, like... a certainty? 》
Pica couldn’t keep up with the straight face. She busted out laughing.
《Oh my, no! 》 she was trying to recompose herself, really. She knew it was probably insensitive, to lose it like that, but she couldn’t help it: for someone so smart, that newbie was extremely naive.
Carmilla stared into the void. She had thrown herself head first into the first distraction that came to her mind, and now she looked like an idiot. Had she really thought she would ever make a decent mother? Mothers are supposed to always know best. How could she protect her child, when she was apparently so easily swayed?
《I’m an absolute idiot 》
《Right now, yes. But as long as this is the craziest thing you did for your experiment, no one will know. Until I start teasing you about it ten years from now 》 Pica had stopped laughing, and softened noticing Carmilla’s dejected expression... she looked like she would have cried, hadn’t she run out of tears already《To be fair, and give whoever told you that “benefit of the doubt” you love so much, this is something that many sinners and hellborns legitimately believe, so maybe they didn’t mean to trick you... but contrary to other, real curses, this is mostly an urban legend. Most people have something they dislike about themselves, and some struggle so much to accept their new bodies that they find it more comforting to think that they have been cursed. There’s nothing magical about self-hatred: it’s all human. 》she explained, a bit bitter.
The fact that Mikael hadn’t intentionally tricked her helped, but it also made sink in how much she had been relying on Zestial for information: or once she got one from someone else, and poof– it was a lie... and he was teaching her things as part of their deal. It was all temporary, how much time did she have before needing to find another reliable source? Unless they stroke a proper deal, very little.
《But then... how can I learn new things? 》
Pica grew silent, going back to part her hair into sections. When she spoke, she sounded stern
《Curiosity killed the cat, you know? 》
《But satisfaction– Ouch! 》she repressed a small cry as her friend pulled her hair particularly hard with the comb.
《Don’t joke about that, or I’ll kill you myself. I have already skipped a funeral too many. 》
Carmilla bit her tongue, determined to hide the pang that went through her skull. After her little crisis she had gone straight to the office, gotten enough jobs from John to keep herself busy the whole day, and then spent the evening going around aimlessly, only to end up in a cosmetic shop, where some part of her brain had had the brilliant idea of buying the dye. She hadn’t drunk, she hadn’t eaten, she had barely sat down and her concussion had started to act up again. Her head felt tender, and that energetic pull, even if well intended, hurt more than Carmilla cared to admit. But Pica couldn’t know it, so she kept quiet– it wasn’t too bad, after all.
《I’m sorry 》
Pica sighed
《Listen. Or something is so important to survive that everyone learns it in a few months, or is the kind of information Overlords have control over. And you don’t want to meddle with Overlords. Clear? 》
《Clear. 》
《Don’t sulk. 》
《I’m not. 》
《Yes, you are 》 she set aside the brush, closing her eyes as she tried to keep her mood in check《Listen...I’m sorry I didn’t think to mention the whole barren thing sooner... I’ve been here for a while, I never liked kids, it just... got out of my mind. 》
《It’s alright. It’s not your fault... and I appreciate all the help you’ve given me. I really do. 》
《Don’t mention it. 》
《I... 》
《No, really, don’t. This whole emotional talk thing is not my... thing. 》 Not having much energy to waste in bickering, Carmilla obliged her, even if she would have preferred talking it out.
For a moment they stayed quiet, but then Pica put up once more her signature grin, a plan forming in her head
《So, since you don’t particularly care about being a brunette again, what do you think about another kind of experiment? 》
4 October, Saturday.
Initially, the general mood had been one of calm boredom. They were all trapped in the office on a Saturday because they needed to go over their finances– now that October had officially started and that things had gone back to normal past extermination, it was the best time to renew insurances and place orders for new weapons.
April was making the inventory of her herbs, to check if there was anything particularly pricy that needed to be restocked, Martha kept rearranging brochures and articles to once more plead her case with Rif to persuade him to get a computer for the office, while Janice and John went over the list of their usual clients, trying to figure out how many hadn’t survived the extermination... it was supposed to be an easy procedure, just dull.
At least, until she had arrived.
Carmilla had been called in to try and fix as much equipment as possible, to see if she could work one of her miracles and save them some money, but when she had shown up, dressed to the nines, something shifted. She seemed the same, maybe a bit distant, greeting them quickly before sitting at the table to start working, and yet something was clearly wrong. Even as she focused, she kept a smile plastered on her face, tense like the last dam left to keep a tsunami of emotions at bay.
John had already noticed that she was feeling a bit under the weather on Wednesday, but this time the weirdness of it caught everyone by surprise.
For starters, she looked exceptionally good.
She was wearing nice jeans with a blue flower print all over and a new blazer with padded shoulders, like those that lately had become so popular in American movies. With a shadow of makeup a bit too vibrant for her skin tone and her now jet-black hair styled in a bubble braid that reached her lower back, she wasn’t less pretty than a fashion doll ready for the runaway, and it was giving everyone the goose-bumps.
It was such a shift from her usual self, and it felt overall so artificial, that it was impossible not to find it uncanny.
They tried to ignore it, act as if nothing was amiss, but the weight of her aura was too much. Maybe she had some powers linked to empathy she was unaware of, to make them feel so affected, like they had personally received sad news, but no one knew how to approach her about it.
After a long hour of exchanging glares and subtle texts, it was decided that Janice would have to make the first move.
The woman got up, feigned a stretch to seem inconspicuous, before asking out loud
《Does someone want a coffee? I’m gonna go grab some 》after waiting for the general approval, she turned to Carmilla that, engrossed in her work, had barely noticed the exchange 《Millie, would you mind coming with me? 》
Once addressed, the woman looked up in confusion. Janice made a vague, ample gesture with her hands
《I could use some help, I don’t want to spill the drinks》
Carmilla blinked twice, her gaze flickering around the room as if she was tempted to ask why couldn’t someone else go– someone whose fingers weren’t covered in grease, maybe... but she thought better of it, and agreed
《Oh. Of course, give me a minute 》
She washed her hands, and then they went, walking in silence to the bar around the corner. The distance was short, and soon enough they reached it, but instead of ordering everything to take, Janice got them two coffees and brought them to a small table in the corner.
Carmilla looked at her, perplex
《Rif will be mad if he finds out we’re lollygagging on the job 》
Janice shrugged, pulling out a chair for Carmilla and the sitting down herself
《We came in on a Saturday because he asked us to, he’ll have to live with us taking a break. 》before the other’s unconvinced expression, she insisted 《Please. I need to talk to you. 》
《About what? 》asked Carmilla, taking a seat, but her voice was void of the usual curiosity.
Janice took a deep breath
《Sorry if I seem indelicate, but are you okay? You seem a bit... off. 》
《I’m fine, thank you. I’ve just been sleeping poorly lately. 》she answered, defensive. Her colleague offered a soft smile, in hope of making her open up
《I can image Pica’s couch ain’t the comfiest... but this seems something deeper. Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? No pressure, but maybe it could help you find a solution. 》
Carmilla sighed, taking a sip of her coffee. It was disgustingly bitter, acid enough to make her want to puke.
《I don’t think that’s possible. But thank you, I appreciate the effort. 》
《Whenever you need it. You’re a pretty chill gal, it sucks to see you upset. Brings down everyone’s mood, it’s contagious! 》Janice tried to joke, but Carmilla only felt a stronger pang of guilt. She hated being pitied, and even more to drag people down with her
《I’m sorry if I distracted you, I can go work in the spare room. 》she offered, her gaze cast down as her cup turned colder and colder against her fingers
《No! This isn’t an “out of sight, out of mind” scenario! 》 the other hurried to reassure《we just want you to be okay 》
《I’m sorry. I’ll get better soon. 》
Janice sighed, a veil of discontentment in her voice
《You did nothing wrong, it’s just... you’re usually so bright. You’re the kind of soul that lights up a room when she comes in, always so encouraging... you have no way of knowing this, but you’re making a world of good to Pica too. Without you, at this time of the year she would usually be stumbling around high as fuck... much more than now, believe me. Your presence anchors her 》
《She’s the one who has helped me the most 》
《She probably thinks you’re pretty okay– and for Pica, that sure is something 》
Carmilla nodded, unsure on what to say next. The abrupt call from the barista saved her from the awkwardness.
《We should go, or all the coffees will get cold before we make it back 》
Janice nodded, clearly dissatisfied with their conversation but aware that she had no way of making Carmilla talk, if she didn’t want to... it would be a long Saturday.
They had gone back to the office, delivered the drinks and resumed their work as normal, but Carmilla couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. It made her skin crawl, and it wasn’t long before she found herself unable to stand the silent attention anymore.
She made a show of looking at the clock before getting up and knocking on Rif’s door
《Sir, if it’s okay I’m taking these home to finish tomorrow, I have... a different shift in half an hour 》
Maybe using the phantom of Zestial's influence to be allowed to clock out early was dishonest, but she had to get out or she would start screaming and no one would be able to calm her down, no matter how hard they tried.
Maybe Rif bought her bluff, maybe not, but her expression was enough to persuade him not to pry further
《Alright, I pay you by the piece anyway. But there’s no emergency, it can wait until Monday. 》
《It’s okay, I’d rather wrap this up sooner than later 》
Rif shrugged in agreement, and Carmilla left after a rushed goodbye. The room immediately returned lighter, but all her colleagues still shared the same question: what the hell was wrong with her?
Once home, Carmilla just laid on the couch and spent the rest of the day curled up into a ball.
She was exhausted, and nothing seemed appealing– food was disgusting, work was dull and her clothes were too tight around her waist, leaving her uncomfortable and overstimulated. Pica had insisted she dressed up that morning, so she could join her at some club in the evening, not waste her Saturday, but Carmilla would rather sleep.
The next morning she would get up, shower as she studied her belly– it felt bloated in a weird way, the skin tense under her palm– before getting dressed again and going back to fix equipment. The next day, Pica would get home and scold her for moping that long, drag her to some other party with too much noise where Carmilla would put up a facade to make her happy... this would all happen, but later.
That night, finally alone, she cried herself to sleep.
6 October, Monday
On Monday, she had gotten up at Dawn to deliver the fixed equipment to Rif before office hours, all to avoid the girls and John– she was functioning on two hours sleep, and couldn’t deal with their concern, it would have been too painful.
Not wanting to go back home, where Pica was sleeping off the hungover of the previous night, she had gone to kill a couple of hours in a café, browsing the newspapers for job ads and apartments. She was too unfocused to accomplish much, but it helped her get an idea of how much apartments were going for... not that getting one seemed a particularly good idea: if she really ended up messing around with angelic steel, a wrong move could turn into a tragedy very quickly.
A laboratory wouldn’t be as cheap, even if she decided to live there, and it would be an easier target for buglers the moment she stepped outside. If she accepted Zestial’s deal, tho...
Carmilla rested her head in her hands, a long sigh escaping her lips. She didn’t feel ready to decide on anything so big, but she would have to, and soon.
It was almost time to go meet him at their agreed location– always the same spot, not too far away from K.N.I.F.E or Picas’s place. He had said he would teach her more things today, so she should have been in the clear, but the idea of him bringing up the subject filled her with dread.
She didn’t expect Zestial to wait around forever while she made up her mind, she only wished for some space... but it would have been dumb to sabotage her future because of her current feelings, and dumb was not something she could afford. The state of her hair was already a reminder of her stupidity– she had to make the best out of the only reliable source she had, at least until it lasted.
Beggars can’t be choosers, or so they say, and she had to pull herself together.
At 11 a.m. sharp, she adventured inside the alley, breathing a sigh of relief when she spotted Zestial amongst the shadows– it was a good thing he was always on time, because that place screamed “Rob me” and she couldn’t deal with that today.
《Carmilla 》he welcomed, offering her his hand 《shall we? 》
She took it, his leathery skin now familiar against hers, and followed his lead as he pulled her closer to his chest, the winged embrace the closest thing she had gotten to an hug in a long while.
She whispered she was ready, and in a blink, they were gone.
He kept her close as she regained her balance, moving only to brush a black strand behind her hear
《Thine hair... 》he started, now sure that the colour wasn’t a trick of the light, but then remained silent. When Carmilla lifted her forehead from his chest, the dizziness finally at bay, she found his eyes fixed on her
《I dyed it. 》she explained, feeling stupid in doing so– like there could be another explanation.
He hummed, still studying her tight up-do intently
《This isn’t the colour of when thou were alive 》he commented, and it rubbed her the wrong way. She didn’t know why, she was just... mad. And Zestial was so much more powerful that there was no risk of her ever hurting him
《How do you know that? 》She snapped 《you never saw me alive 》
《That is correct, yet this shade of black is too deep to occur naturally. I would know, as an amateur of arts 》he said, seemingly unbothered
《So? It’s dye 》she muttered
《Yet, thou didn’t use it to look more human-like 》he replied, his voice so calm that she deflated 《is something the matter? 》
She let out a deep breath, her shoulders slightly dropping as she started shaking– not much, it was barely noticeable, but for a moment she thought she would cry again
《Maybe it was just a mistake 》
She felt like she had made countless mistakes
《Thou hast an eye for details, thou would have noticed 》
Maybe, hadn’t she been in too much shock to care
《Maybe I was distracted》
《Something big must have happened, to monopolise all thine attention 》his voice was so warm, part of her wanted to just give in and talk all her feelings out, explain that nothing had happened, nothing would ever happen, and that it was that nothingness, that emptiness, that was now devouring her, starting from her womb and up to her soul... but she had never been good with words.
《Why do you care? 》
《Thou art freshly deceased, and now that the extermination has passed thou hast more time to dwell on it. A noticeable physical alteration, added to thine clearly melancholia, give me enough reasons of concern... especially after the misadventure of a few days prior. There’s no shame in it 》
《I’m fine. 》 She insisted, but she was sure her eyes, if not wet, now were at least even more red《I... I just acted too rashly to check if something I was told was true. I regretted not thinking it through five minutes into it 》
Zestial seemed to understand that it was only the tip of the iceberg, but focused on comforting her, offering a smile as he bent to observe her head more closely
《I think thou art a looker, styled like this... yet, if thou wish to have thine hair fixed, in the Cannibal district there art plenty of reputable salons. Doth not be frightened by the location, they tend to be quite professional with their clients 》
Why... why was he being so kind about it? He had no reason to try to help her with something so silly
《No. My roommate managed to salvage it, and anyway it’s not a full head dye, it will wash off in a few months 》 he blinked twice, his four eyes in sink, probably confused about what she meant. And maybe it wasn’t his business, but he just seemed so... innocent, in his curiosity, that Carmilla found herself rising her arm to untie the bun that she had carefully crafted that morning, letting the long, white strands free to fall and mix with the black ones. The sudden lack of tension felt like relief
《The beauty of thick hair, I guess 》her voice was monotone, but it didn’t discourage him.
He made a turn around her, examining the style from all angles. His antics amused her a bit: a powerful Overlord in awe of something as mundane as hair. Well, if he was so invested, it wouldn’t hurt to teach him
《My friend dyed the outer strands and all the ends. So it looks black as long as I keep everything tied up 》
He murmured in seeming approval, raising an hand as to touch her but then hesitating
《Ingenious. Ingenious indeed 》
《I know, she’s some sort of hair genius 》
《We art in agreement. May I? 》 he asked, giving in to temptation. As soon as she nodded, he gently took a long curl between his fingers, twisting it as he watched 《Beautiful. Thick and soft, it’s like a Persian cat’s fur 》
Carmilla felt her cheeks heat up, and pulled away to mask her embarrassment. Men had always complimented her looks... but not quite like this.
The curl slipped away from Zestial’s fingers, and he let it go with an half huff. Maybe he would have liked to study it longer, but he didn’t complain. Somehow, his attentiveness made her feel even warmer, and she turned her head slightly, trying to deflect
《Yeah... I don’t mind it, but it’s so different from when I was alive, I don’t know how to deal with it anymore 》
He hummed again, as if trying to remember something
《It can be a bit unsettling at the start, yet in time thou shall get used to it. It took me only half a decade 》
That caught her attention
《Is your hair fur too? I never saw you without your hat 》
She gave him a look, and he chuckled
《And I’m afraid thou shall not, mine dear. The hat shall always remain in its place 》
《So, I’ll never get to see your fur? It can’t be much, if it’s all hidden so easily 》
《Most of mine fur is on mine chest, so I’m afraid that’s the case 》he replied after a moment, a facetious smile on his lips.
Very well. Two could play that game
《Why? I could always get you to drop your shirt 》 she teased, leaning more towards him, not even sure on why she was tormenting the poor man so much《you promised to train me in combat against magical creatures, didn’t you? I count I’ll make you sweat enough, eventually 》
He let out a squeak, exactly like a bat would have, clearly not having foreseen such boldness from her
《I doth not sweat. Mine anatomy prevents it. 》he clarified, puzzled
《What a pity 》she doubled down with a smirk that he soon matched 《it could have been fun 》
He leaned toward her as well, using his index to tilt up her chin and properly look her in the eyes as he bent over her
《My devilish lady, thou art playing with fire. 》he warned.
His voice was warm, his fingers icy, and she had so many mixed feelings inside her. For days she had felt nothing, everything, rage, exhaustion, shame, disappointment, anxiety, dread, acceptance, bargain, denial... but now, in this bubble, she felt good for a moment. She had always turned to sex as a stress relief, the affection she got afterwards usually worth the hassle... was this what she was doing? She wasn’t exactly turned on, but she wasn’t unaffected either. Was she under a spell? What would he do to her? Even worse, what would she do to herself?
In that haze of feelings and instincts, desire mixed with terror
《Will you burn me then? 》
The words left her lips in a whisper, but it didn’t sound as cheeky as it should have. It was like a breath of winter.
《No. 》 Zestial assured. He let go of her chin, caressing her cheek with his knuckles before stepping away《No, I won’t. I shall not hurt thee in any way– in fact, I enjoy our game and wish for us to play much longer. It couldn’t happen, if I burned thine wings, could it?》
《Moths kill themselves for a glint of warmth 》she felt cold, colder than before.
He took one of her hands in his, pulling her closer
《Yet butterflies art so much happier when they get to dance in the sunlight, doth thou not agree, mine dear? 》
《Am I a butterfly to you? 》
Her eyes were big and lost. He had no idea of what had happened between Wednesday and then, but he needed to fix it
《Not quite. Thou art a bit more graceful 》 he smiled, but his expression soon turned into concern as a couple of tears fell down her face《Is everything fine? Did I overstep? 》
《No, no. You did nothing wrong 》 she assured, roughly wiping her eyes with her free hand, seemingly stuck between letting go of him or clinging to him for dear life《Forgive me. I’m being silly. 》
《Thou art not, please doth not think so. Won’t thou tell me what is tormenting thee? It isn’t like thee, to get so overwhelmed, there must be something deeper. 》
She wasn’t full on crying, but now her distress was too plain to dissimulate, and he couldn’t stand seeing her sad. He led her to the couch, offering her a glass of water to calm down. She let go of his hand and gripped that instead, the inanimate object easier to focus on
《I just... I’m finding it so hard to adjust to hell. I don’t regret my choices, but being here is like getting an hit after another... and everyone is tiptoeing around me, I feel like an alien. I just... I wish I could get a moment to get myself together. 》
《I understand. 》 he did. When he had first been precipitated into this realm, he had had to overcome so many obstacles, survive so much grief... but he had done it, and so would Carmilla... this time she wouldn’t be left alone, he would cheer her up... and maybe the solution was right under his nose
《Come with me 》he urged, raising in one fluid motion. To be a spider/ bat/ humanoid demon, he surely could move like a snake
《Where? Why? 》she asked, sliding further away from him, still on edge
《Thou need some quietness, some beauty. Let us show thee something worth of turning thine day around. 》 he coaxed, offering his hand again《May I? 》
She looked at his extended palm without taking it, but got up to follow him
《Alright, lead the way 》
They went up for different levels of stairs, crossing at least three rooms in the process– maybe more, since a few had no door at all and Zestial had to teleport them to the next section– but she could admit that the makeshift labyrinth was quite impressive, as long as she didn’t have to live there.
They finally reached a big, engraved door, that gave into a tiny, dark room, with blue walls all covered in symbols partly hidden by crimson curtains. In the shadows, everything appeared dusty and almost washed out, but in the centre, where one could have expected a desk or– why not, given the circumstances, a cauldron– stood out a spiral staircase that led to the lower floor, seemingly elongating into the void
Zestial encouraged her to go first, to enjoy whatever spectacle awaited her, and so Carmilla did, descending into the darkness as each step lightened up under her feet. It took a few minutes, as she couldn’t see further away than her legs, her heart racing in her chest, but then he gently stopped her with an hand on her shoulder
《Art thou ready, Carmilla? 》he asked, almost an excited edge in his voice.
Her throat was dry, the mystery tantalising... anticipation kept bubbling under her skin
《Yes. 》
Like stars in the night, hundreds of lights started to appear around the room– they could seem enchanted candles, but many were actually luminescent spiders, whose abdomens brightened every corner like fireflies’– yet that was a detail to notice later, after everything had had the time to sink in better. Now, she was too enthralled by everything else to focus on the logistics
《So, what doth thou think mine dear? 》he asked, pride rolling off of his tongue like honey.
She had thought he was arrogant in the past, but how could a person not be after putting together something like that?
《It’s… beautiful 》
That was all she could say.
Zestial had the understanding, since he was a child, that knowledge was power, and he had spent his life collecting information to then use to his advantage. Be it how to decipher a code, heal an infection, spread a rumour or figure out a battle strategy, whatever could be learned for him was worth knowing and even with all his pride, he had never neglected to hold in high consideration his predecessors, and rely on what had already been written and discovered– even if he had always despised the concept of “ipse dixit”, enemy of any improvement. He had been an avid collector of books in his living days, and death hadn’t changed that passion of his; on the contrary: with centuries at his disposal, he had built a library that would have risen the envy of most goetias, and that didn’t lose its splendour even if compared to the ones of the five Kings themselves.
It extended over five different floors– seven, counting the two extremities– all linked by a single main staircase. Starting from the very top, there was what he liked to call the observatory box; it was a tiny room with a domed ceiling, where he could use most of his enchanted books to perform magic different from his own; it had the narrowest chimney to catalyse spells, leading the energy in a completely rounded room –to which only his shadow form could access– before letting it flow down again, toward him and the rest of his territory, like a waterfall.
Then, there were two more levels above the ground, one slightly larger than the other, like in Dante’s purgatory, and three underneath, with the first slightly smaller than the previous one, the second extending under almost half of the house, and the third, unreachable by anyone but himself, as small as a wheel. Underneath all that, with a pressure that was already a punishment in itself, was placed the dungeon.
The layout grew more and more unhinged the deeper they went, with the shelves arranged into heptagonal labyrinths that, if one strayed more than five rows from the centre, could become unescapable. While the upper floors had a system of minor ladders that could link them together in many different spots –to access a secret rooms, reach a particularly secluded alcove, or even as an easier way out of a dead end– the subterranean ones only had the main staircase as a way out, detail that could turn them into a death trap for any undesired guest. The few that had managed to infiltrated Zestial’s house had never been able to leave, and he had each time made sure to drain every bit of energy from their souls before disposing of what was left of their bodies... but an intrusion certainly wasn’t the current case.
Carmilla’s presence was something he almost ached for, and so he had been more than thrilled to escort her to the level directly under the observatory. He rarely allowed guests there, not wanting them so close to the only entrance of his precious library, but for her an exception was due: seeing his collection would make Carmilla happy, and he was far too selfish to deprive himself of her smile.
That room was the perfect starting point: grand enough to entertain and distract her, but not too overwhelming. It housed beautiful books, paintings and interesting artefacts, but nothing dangerous, and the magical aura wasn’t as strong as in the lower levels, so it wouldn’t add stress to her body... it felt good, actually, to finally show her something he took so much pride in. She wasn’t easily impressed by wealth, but his library was like a glimpse of his soul... it had to intrigue her, at least a bit.
《It’s beautiful 》
《I’m glad thou approve of it, darling. It took a long time to put together this collection, yet it turned out impressive enough to satisfy me. These books art one of mine biggest treasures. 》
Carmilla nodded, looking around in awe
《I can see it. 》
He smiled
《Please, doth explore freely. This section doesn’t hold anything threatening, and since thou hast permission to be here, the shelves won’t trick thee 》
She turned toward him at that, but then her gaze drifted towards the books once more– clearly she had decided that killer shelves weren’t where she would draw the line of magical nonsense she could put up with.
《I’ve never seen so many books together. 》 she approached the nearest cabinet, her fingers hovering near the covers without daring to touch any of them《I... I don’t even know what half of these languages are 》
Well, maybe it was still a bit overwhelming
《I shall guide thee, then 》 he approached her from behind, resting an hand on her shoulder as he took out for her the book she was eyeing the most. He pressed it in her hands, and she took hold of it as if it was made of crystal《Hell hast plenty of downsides, yet there’s beauty hidden in its corners. Now, this is only mine private library, yet I spent many peaceful hours here, and I’m certain we shall be able to find something thou art interested in 》
He wasn’t used to be humble, yet he tried, for her.
《Why? 》she kept looking at him with her big, confused eyes; by now he knew what she was asking: “why are you being kind to me?”
Truth was, he didn’t know. She simply had a way of getting under his skin and making it tingle in all the right ways… she was too precious not to be cherished, and he had too much good sense to neglect her
《I can be generous with the ones I deem worthy. Now, mine dear, from where shall we start thine education? Choose freely, there art plenty of options 》he replied, in lack of a better answer, indicating the room with an ample gesture of his left hand;
She stalled a moment, thinking, weighting her options, her mind flooded by the sheer number of possibilities
《Do you... do you have anything on curses? I want to learn all there’s to know about sinners, so I won’t make stupid mistakes again 》
That was a peculiar way of phrasing it. An hint, that he would set aside and analyse better at another time
《Wise choice. Incertus animus dimidium est sapietiae– half of wisdom is a doubtful mind. Knowledge shall be thine best defence against trickery 》he smiled once more, leading her to the closest reading corner and inviting her to sit, before melting into a sea of shadows to collect all they would need from the depths of his shelves《Make thyself comfortable, darling: our lesson is about to commence 》
8 October, Wednesday
She had ended up spending the rest of her day with Zestial, and she had gone back to him on Tuesday as well– it couldn’t have been helped. With him she found the tranquillity that had been escaping her for months, mixed with the mental excitement of learning new things. The library had been a spectacle: not only the books themselves, that with their details and hand-painted covers could be considered artworks of their own, but the moving lights, and the miniatures hanged on the wooden shelves– beautiful drawings, some more refined than others, depicting anything, from still-life to anatomically correct insects, mythology scenes and botanic tables–, it all helped to create the perfect atmosphere. The comfortable armchair, the warm tea... and yes, she could admit that, Zestial’s deep voice had been the cherry on top.
He had guided her through couple of books, highlighting the chapters that could help her the most at the moment– deals, taboos and protective runes. She would probably be unable to do much with the latter themselves, since she held no magical abilities, but Zestial had insisted on starting from there. Exactly because she couldn’t rely on magical intuition to protect herself, she had to study the symbols, memorise the ones that could weaken a spell and in what order the lines needed to be traced to work.
He had been a patient teacher, his hand guiding hers until all she could focus on were the movements, the curve of her nail on the paper, heart weirdly light as she let herself be led in that territory so unknown and so distant from all her woes. It had been... relaxing.
“Mine door is always open” he had said the first evening, and it sounded so genuine even if she knew better. Why was Zestial of all people, the only one capable of soothing her aching heart? It made no sense, and even less when she found herself more unwilling to leave each time. Was he trying to trap her with honey? She refused to be caged, even if the sweetness was addictive.
Part of her wished she could have stayed immersed in that calmness forever... but of course it couldn’t be, and so that Wednesday she had defeated temptation and started to get ready to go to the office. She needed to show face, and prove that she was doing just fine, the melancholia of a few days prior just a fluke.
She was tying up her combat boots –her ankles swollen without a reason– when her phone rang, and she picked up, expecting Rif or maybe Janice
《Hi, who’s there? 》
《Carmen? 》Marcus’ voice came as a surprise, but she had never called him back to organise that get together with the others, so it probably shouldn’t have... she knew how awful it sounded, but she had completely forgotten about that.
《Marcus, hi. How do you do? 》she asked politely, trying not to sound too impatient. She wanted to try to catch a bus, her feet were killing her
《Fine. All is fine 》
《Did you need anything? 》she hoped he didn’t want to propose a get together now, she would try to find time soon but now she was in no mood.
《No, don’t worry, I just heard you had a bit of a misadventure and since you never call, I wanted to check on you. How are things now? 》
Right, that. She had grown quite fond of Mikael, but she still wished he would learn to be more discreet
《Much better, but it wasn’t anything too bad in the first place 》 she dismissed《just a couple of assholes that forgot themselves 》
《Yeah, that checks, but it still sucks. 》
《True. Any news? 》
《No, all normal. 》
《That’s nice to hear 》 he stayed silent a bit too long for it to be comfortable; if they kept stalling she would end up being late, so she tried to wrap up that conversation 《Well, thank you for calling, if there’s nothing else– 》
《Actually 》 he interrupted, in a sprint of bravery《If you’re not too busy, I thought we could go out this Friday. You know, have some fun 》
《Oh. 》 she didn’t want to do that. She already needed to put up a facade for her colleagues, this would be the last drop《I’m not sure it’s a good idea, I’ve been quite tired lately 》
At least that was not a lie, but he insisted
《Exactly! You need a bit of an holiday! A drink, maybe a movie. We haven’t properly talked since before the extermination. 》
《You’re right, but– 》
《You promised you would find some time for me. Going back on your word already, pretty lady? 》
She sighed internally– he had a point. They would probably work together again, and it would be unwise to create resentment, especially for something as little as not being in the mood. She had to be nice... and to be honest, maybe he was right. She was starting to feel, toward Zestial, some very unwise feelings, and this outing would bring her back to reality.
《Okay, yes, it could be nice. Will the others come too? 》she asked, resigned, already quite sure of the answer
《Lauren says he has already neglected his husband too much, and Mikael is mad at me. Unless you want to invite Gorilla and King Kong, I think it’s better if we go out on our own. Is that okay? 》he checked, but there was some eagerness in his voice.
She didn’t know why it made her only feel more tired. Marcus was fun, smart, quite handsome, and the few moments they had spent together hadn’t been half bad... if she put in the effort of dragging herself on a date with him, she could actually have fun. And sex, maybe, if it didn’t compromise their relationship too much– it would make her some good, release the stress.
《Yes, yes. So, Friday... 》
《At 11 p.m.》 he confirmed, triumphant, as soon as she accepted《 the theatre is open all night and the pub is a graveyard before that anyway 》
Carmilla hummed, her eyes focused on the magazines that Pica had left around the room. Half a dozen, she needed to pick them up, maybe buy a shelf to arrange them
《Sounds like a plan. 》
《Great! Dress nice, I’ve a car and indoors it’s warm anyway. See you soon! 》
《See you on Friday 》she muttered, but the line had already gone silent.
9 October, Thursday
Her plan had worked out quite well, and at the office everyone seemed to have accepted that she was, once again, doing perfectly well.
After hours, she had also agreed to go out with the girls and John for some pizza, and the evening had turned out to be pretty pleasant, even if the food itself hadn’t looked appealing– she had settled for snacking on some fries and salad, earning an affectionate scolding from Martha, that assured her that she really didn’t need to be on a diet; that hadn’t been her goal, but given how her trousers did, in fact, feel a bit too tight, maybe cutting out calories wouldn’t be a bad idea... and after all this time, she probably needed to find some proteins she could stomach anyway.
Or maybe her belly was bloated because she had been mostly fasting for too long... but that wasn’t an option she was willing to consider, since she had no control over what her body could keep down or not . It was less alarming to think that it was the processed foods’ fault– in weeks, the soup Zestial had cooked for them had been almost the only fresh thing she had eaten... it couldn’t be healthy. She knew, but sure thing she wouldn’t acknowledge such a weakness in front of anyone, especially Zestial himself.
Speaking of the devil, she wished he could have been as easily swayed as everyone else, but that day he seemed determined to play doctor with her.
《Art thou sure thou art well? Maybe for today thou should rest a bit 》he had asked almost immediately after teleporting them to his house, checking her from all sides and trying to feel if she had a fever. And true– she felt dizzier than usual, and had been forced to drop on the nearest chair the moment he had let go of her because her knees refused to cooperate, and maybe she should have put more effort in her make-up, but honestly, it wasn’t his business; she had thrown up her soul that morning, coursing the soda April had convinced her to get, and concealing the bags under her eyes had been the last of her concerns. She was tired and wanted to get to work, there was no time to rest.
《Well, I’m here now. No use in suggesting what isn’t doable, we should keep going 》she shrugged.
《We have a perfectly functioning bedroom here》 he insisted, unconvinced 《 and I recently got some fireplaces cleaned as well. Thou may rest as long as thou wish, and we will continue our lesson later. I doth not have other obligations planned for today. 》
Well, she did. She had promised Pica to help her fix the gun she had won in one of her many scuffles, she couldn’t spend the night elsewhere.
《Are you trying to get rid of me for a couple of hours? 》she teased, hoping he would let it go. He frowned.
《Thou knows that’s not the case. I simply worry, thou art known for being quite reckless with thine health 》
《I’m still standing 》she dared. The fact he was right didn’t change that his words stung her in her pride. She didn’t need to be fussed about!
《Doth not settle for crumbs, mine dear: thou may have so much more. 》He sighed
Under different circumstances, by now she would have been offended and upset... but he sounded so genuinely concerned she just couldn’t. Was her complexion that bad? He kept staring at her! She needed a diversion.
《I’m truly fine... and anyway, I brought you some cake! It’s with chocolate, I’m sure you’ll like it. 》She announced, taking a small package out of her backpack.
Zestial looked between her and the box a few times.
《Art thou trying to bribe me? 》
《Yes. Take it or leave it. 》
After throwing up the meagre content of her stomach, she had gone to a bakery in hope of finding something that looked appetising for herself, without much luck. Still, there was a beautiful cake on display, and she had ended up getting some for him instead– he had been a very generous host, and it only felt fair to reciprocate the curtesy... and she had to admit, catching Zestial by surprise made her feel a bit smug《What? You’re the most obvious sweet tooth I’ve ever met, this was bound to happen 》
He chuckled
《It’s rare for guests to bring refreshments with them 》
《If you’re worried about poisons, don’t be: I’m not dumb enough to waste my time trying to off you now 》
The chuckled turned in a full on laughter, a deep sound from his belly– how could someone so lanky be so charming? When he spoke, he filled the room even more, as if not to leave space for anyone else, his voice as imposing as his height, but at the same time inexplicably warm... her own insides felt hot, especially as he leaned on her to push a stray curl out of her face... what a mess
《Of course, I shall never insult thine intelligence in such a way. I shall start keeping my guard high in a year or so 》
《You don’t take me seriously at all, do you? 》she laughed too, but it didn’t feel completely genuine. How could she, when everything was so confusing?
《Of course I doth, otherwise I wouldn’t have expressed interest in hiring thee. 》he assured. He could admit, at least to himself, that by now his interest had become quite personal –Carmilla was a wonder in herself, with a spirit so bright that both her abilities and flaws faded in the background– but he wasn’t sure that hearing that would be of any solace at the moment, so he opted for a more diplomatic answer 《I have an eye for spotting talents 》
《But you don’t think I’m a good fighter 》she pressed. She didn’t know how or why... with him, she just felt at ease while pushing her luck.
Zestial studied her for a moment
It seemed that his lady was determined to find out what he thought of her, a not-so-subtle agenda in all their conversations... it was understandable, since the offer of a contract still loomed heavily between them. He had avoided pressuring her, mindful of her distress, but he hadn’t stopped thinking about it– on the contrary, having her in his house only made him more determined to keep her close.
It wasn’t uncommon to improve a contract during negotiations to make it more appealing, the original draft always offering less than one was truly willing to give, but the level of concessions he was willing to make at that point had to be unheard-of: he would have done almost anything to get her to stay, and now it was all about pacing between the temptation and the space, giving Carmilla enough hints of what she could have without making her feel like that generosity was too good to be true.
She had a potential that he couldn’t ignore, and if there was more to it, he had no one to answer to. Of course, her technique needed work, and she was far too good for hell... but there was an edge to her character, that made her not meek at all. If possible, it made her even more alluring– she avoided biting out of choice, and he wanted to know how much pain had it took to make her so kind.
He was prideful, and maybe at times condescending, but he could see things as they were: he wanted Carmilla in his life more than she wanted him; she would have gladly agreed to work for whoever treated her respectfully, but for him finding another lady like her would be impossible, so he was the one that had to sell the deal to her, so to say, not the other way around. It was almost like a courtship.
He shook the thought away– it was inappropriate of him to think about Carmilla like that, and anyway he had more urgent matters to worry about, like how to answer her question without her assuming the worst. He could have deflected, told her she had a great technique, but it would have been an half-truth. She was so precious, and the most valuable thing he could offer was his honesty...
《No, yet it’s because thou’re not a fighter in the first place 》he started to explain, carefully monitoring her expression《Thou’re perfectly capable to fight, and extremely skilled when thou decide to doth so, even with all the difficulties that come from getting used to a more demonic form. Thou’re fast, agile, clearly very strong and resilient, and thine aim has naught to envy to the angelic army. I’m no expert of firearms, yet mine men speak of thee with the highest regard and I can see that thou’re good... yet, thou’re no soldier. Even while engaging in combat, the true jewel remains thine intelligence.》
She pondered his words door a bit, as if trying to figure out how she felt about them, before finally asking:
《Then what use am I to you? 》
He allowed himself to drop on the recliner next to hers, slouching against the back as he let some deep breaths in and out. He didn’t look at her, trying to focus on how his words would affect her. Empathy was a double edge sword, one that he had always exploited to get what he wanted, and it felt foreign, trying to get in someone’s shoes to guess their path
《I think I made mineself clear enough in mine offer: I doth not wish to hire a soldier. Thou’re a strategist, an inventor... thine talents would be wasted on the battlefield. If in mine service, thine role would be mainly an intellectual one, and thou wouldn’t need to dirty thine hands more than thou deem necessary. Reducing someone with thine potential to an hired gun would be like using a gemstone to hold a door in place– feasible, yet very silly indeed. 》
《I was a cop and a detective all my adult life 》she said. Maybe she had intended to sound angry, to challenge his opinion of her, but it appeared more like she was questioning it herself. Why had she become a cop? It surely could be a stimulating job, and probably it had made a difference for her community, knowing her character, but had it made her happy? Had it really fulfilled all her intellectual needs? It was easy to forget, with how bright she was, but Carmilla was a flower that had bloomed among death and gore; she deserved, in death, to find some peace
《I doubt the profession ever suited you. 》 He dared to say, finally turning towards her《I doth not know why thou didn’t pursue thine studies, brilliant as thou are, I can only guess that circumstances weren’t kind to thee... yet now thou hast the chance, and I think thou should take it. 》
《Are there universities for sinners here in hell? 》she asked, sounding uncertain. She had known there were schools, but during the planning for the extermination they hadn’t focused on which ones were attended by who.
《Of course, and many other options beside that 》 he assured, taking advantage of her interest《I could open plenty of doors for thee– wouldn’t thou like that? There’s so much to learn 》
《I fear the price of your help 》she admitted, staring at her lap, and while the sentiment was neither new or unexpected, it still hit him in the guts
《Fear is an intelligent emotion– keeps us all from danger. 》 He cautiously comforted 《Yet, it might deprive thee of precious opportunities. I doth not wish to own thine soul, Carmilla, I promise. Thou may trust me not to act against thine interests 》
She muttered her understanding, but kept her eyes away from him.
His words were pointless, he knew: the merchant will always try to convince you that his shop is the best in town, and being his own guarantor wouldn’t do a thing to soothe Carmilla’s nerves... she had to start trusting him on her own terms, and insisting would only spoil their time together. He had given her enough new material to think about, for today
《Well, this discussion is growing too heavy for an afternoon tea, isn’t it? We shall leave the business talk to another time 》he raised, offering her his hand 《would thou like to head to the library? It might make thee feel better 》
Carmilla had agreed, seemingly eager to finally occupy her mind with something, so they had once more crossed all the rooms to get to the library, where they had spent a good two hours in a corner, him going through titles that could suit her needs and she reading a copy of “An hell of an education”– a book that might not have been particularly rare or hard to come by, but that had as a co-author the king himself, and was therefore worth reading. Honestly, Zestial doubted that his Majesty had added a single word in, if not for some poorly timed digressions, but the volume had officially been commissioned by the Royal family, and was quite the complete guide to the different schools of the realm, if not a bit too superficial to actually make plans. It was an easy read, that hopefully would allow Carmilla to learn and daydream without feeling too crushed... but it had been a while, and that deep frown hadn’t left her forehead.
《Carmilla... 》 he finally spoke《Art thou still thinking about what I said? 》
She set aside the book carefully, with the attention that always distinguished her, before looking up at nothing in particular
《If I cannot fight, what even is the point? 》
《I never said that. And whoever does, is a liar. Thou art a fierce, and hast proved over and over again that thou’re capable of taking care of thyself. 》
《As long as magic isn’t involved 》she sighed, slouching as all the fatigue of the world seemed to loom over her
《Thou simply need training, and it shall be mine duty to see to it 》 he hated seeing her like that; Carmilla deserved so much better, her eyes were made to glim with joy, not to burn with tears, and he wanted to grant her that – happiness and safety and all that was best for her. He went on:《Exactly like thee, mine dear, I’m no warrior. I never was– in mine living days, I explored the seas, foreign lands... if killing became a necessity I used mine brain, and mine potions, actual combat was always a last resource. Creatures like us art not made to mindlessly obey, we’re never the brawn of the operation, we art the masterminds. It’s no shame, it’s an honour. 》
She turned to him, almost angered, her tone harsh as she tightened her hands into fists
《It’s different! You have extravagant magic powers that allow you to go wherever you want, a vast knowledge of everything useful, and even in life, something tells me you’ve never been the lowest of the lowest. I... 》 she paused, her voice fading into a whisper《I’m just a lost soul in a world that would gladly eat me alive 》
《I shall not allow that 》 he took one of her hands in his, the fist giving way easily as ragemelted into fear and he tried to coax her to focus on him once more《Carmilla, look at me– I shall not allow that, I will keep thee safe. I... appreciate thee, regardless of any deal, and I deem thee under mine protection. No harm shall come to thee. 》
《I don’t want charity, I want to be able to protect myself! 》
《Then, we shall make sure thou art! 》 He said, firm《I promised to aide thee to get acquainted to magical duels. Next time, we shall start 》
She looked at him, waiting for the catch. There was none.
《Are you serious? 》
He nodded
《With the due precautions, yet yes. We shall start with simple sparring, and then progress into more realistic matches– no point on getting thee hurt, being around actual magic can already take a toll on one’s strength, and it would be wise to get thee used to it 》 she seemed sceptical, so he explained, in hope of convincing her《like teleporting. Thou felt dizzy at the start, yet by now it stopped affecting thee as much... most of the time. Today was quite the unfortunate exception. 》
At that, she grimaced, but seemed persuaded nonetheless
《I understand... I thought it was because of the movement. Can it get worse than that? 》
《Unfortunately. Yet, mine house is full of enchantments, mine powers art from the Ether and hell itself is saturated with magic... thine body has probably already adjusted a bit. Thou doth not need to worry: I shall go slowly, let thee tell me what thou can handle. We got time. 》
He said that with so much certainty, for a moment she believed it as well. Maybe this time things could be different, she would get a real chance to choose and fight for herself
《Thank you. 》
She squeezed his hand back, and for Zestial it was worth more than thousands of words. He smiled, the expression as soft as his mouth would allow, as he dared to pull her in a tentative side hug
《Thou’re a very special soul, Carmilla. Thine past must be an heavy burden, yet please, allow thyself to start anew. A future is something thou still deserve. 》
10 October, Friday
That day, she had made a conscious effort to look good. A new outfit, ears properly pierced, makeup, perfume... she had even gotten a perm!
Pica had suggested her an affordable hairdresser that had a little salon nearby, and at her insistence Carmilla had caved, thinking that it made sense– a new look would probably help separate the work relationship she had with Marcus from the personal one... even if her friend couldn’t know that. For what Pica was concerned, this was just another date with her mystery guy, one for which Carmilla wanted to look a bit more sexy than usual. She had teased her about it, but had seemed clearly relieved, thinking that the other had finally snapped out of her sadness. Carmilla had no heart –or reason– to tell her the truth, and so she had allowed the stylist (a pretty redhead with a coiffeur cut) to talk her into some “jheri curls”; the final results were a bit over the top, maybe, but she still liked it.
When alive, she had avoided anything “over the top” look-wise, since many already gave her an hard time simply for existing in her workplace, but now she was free to be as wild as she wanted, and had every intention of seizing her chance... the time she had spent with Zestial hadn’t made her forget the pain, but it had helped soothing it; there was something about that man– his manners, maybe, or the way he made her comfortable – that lulled her into the vaguest shade of peace... it wasn’t much, but enough for someone like her. Away from the safety of his company, the bad thoughts fought to resurface, and she refused to succumb... some careless abandonment seemed the perfect way to drown everything, at least for now... she hadn’t been thrilled when Marcus had asked her out, but the closer the evening got, the giddier she grew, a restless excitement that bordered the manic. Maybe that night would be fun. Maybe she would really get to relax... and with someone she didn’t need to have so many mixed feelings about. She had tried so hard, after all.
Picking what to wear hadn’t been easy – after going through all her clothes she had realised that she just didn’t own anything suitable for a date, and to make things worse, her body was still being uncooperative, stomach bloated and chest stupidly sore... so she had ended up giving in and going to the mall in search of something that could help conceal the problem; it would be noticeable once she got naked, but hopefully at that point Marcus’ attention would be elsewhere...
She had turned the place upside down, muttering curses against her lack of control over her figure – it was like it had grown swollen since her arrival, against all odds... and she swore her arms felt thinner. The issue was from chest to hips, and the weirdness of it irritated her. Luckily, hell had something for everyone, and she had finally walked out with something.
The set she had bought was quite the daring choice. The silhouette wasn’t anything special, with boot-cut trousers and a sleeveless dress-like top. The fabric, on the contrary, was outrageous: an almost completely see-through tulle, that would do close to nothing to shield her curves from prying eyes; it was indeed sexy, but would she look stupid? The neckline was much deeper than what she was usually comfortable with, and her bare back would be left completely exposed... maybe the old Carmilla wouldn’t have dared, always busy saving up for someone, looking sensible... but she had very little left to lose, she wanted to feel good, to look inviting and enjoy her evening... so she went for it.
Once dressed, Carmilla’s thick fingers roamed over the red and black fabric, following the warmth of the skin underneath, and she felt a wave of relief in knowing that Pica was already out on her own. The layers did a good job at concealing her belly, and the undergarments she had picked– a full piece teddie, with a very low back and mini shorts – helped balance the look, but she still felt so... exposed.
Left untied to make justice to the style, her hair offered some sort of protection, and it was a comfort.
As she stood on her toes to better look at her reflection, Carmilla tried to imagine Marcus’ reaction. She had seen how he had looked at her when she wore her disguise, even if at the time there had been much bigger things to worry about, and now she wondered if he would like this look too. She rested her forehead against the glassy surface, closing her eyes as she tried to picture his smirk in her mind, but all she could think of where long, spindly fingers brushing her curls to the side, a sharp mouth pressing a kiss to the nape of her neck as a much taller frame loomed over her, backing her into a corner, her palms open against the wall, tiny breaths escaping her lips as his hands went lower, teasing the warmth between her legs... she shook her head, feeling a wave of shame rise to her carefully painted face.
Her brain was a traitorous creature, but all the indignation in the world could nothing against the hunger spreading inside her; it would have been pointless to make a big deal out of a fantasy, she was sure there was no meaning behind it, only some misplaced lust that would soon be redirected towards a more appropriate target. There was nothing to worry about.
She sighed, splashing some cold water on her naked wrists to recompose herself– she was ready to go.
She hat texted Marcus to meet her a few streets away from her place, and when she had arrived, he was already there, even if she was a bit early herself.
《Wow 》 he whistled after recognising her, his eyes roaming her figure up and down in appreciation 《you look stunning! 》
He wasn’t hard on the eyes either, she noted with a smile. She wasn’t a fan of the box-cut he sported that evening, but the flared trousers really suited him, their flower pattern matching the one on the jacked whose bold burgundy and pink, green and white details truly complimented the darkness of his skin. The shirt, in hues of yellow, had the first few buttons left open, allowing her to steal a glimpse of the top of his chest... what she saw was nice indeed, but then again, she had already known that Marcus was attractive, even more so when he put in the effort
《How nice, but you look pretty handsome yourself, this colour suits you! 》
《Thanks 》he laughed, maybe a bit flustered, opening the car door for her《the pretty lady first 》
She let out the faintest laughter 《such a gentleman 》
A weird expression crossed his face at the word, but it was gone before she could dwell on it
《Wasn’t your hair all white? 》he asked once they both got seated inside, taking hold of one of her curls and twisting it between his fingers. She instinctively pulled away at the unexpected touch, feeling a slight pull as he didn’t let go immediately, but she did her best to keep smiling... he had just gotten a bit too eager, it was forgivable
《Yes, I dyed it, I was in the mood for a change 》she explained; maybe it wasn’t the whole story, but close enough
《It was a good call, you look so much better 》 he added before thinking it through, running his hand in her hair again 《Like– you were gorgeous before too, don’t get me wrong, but this makes you seem... warmer? Sorry, words aren’t my forte 》
《I’m still deciding if keeping it, but thank you 》she liked the colour too, but honestly, she still regretted it a bit. She hadn’t realised how fond of her white hair she had grown until she had seen herself with that tight black braid the first time, and now was looking forward to the dye fading off
Misinterpreting her tone as if asking for suggestions, he doubled down
《You should go all in – full head colour. And keep the curls, they make you look softer. Like... switch the black with a dark brown, find something to mask the forearms a bit, and you’re basically human, even if the hair will always feel a bit off. 》he stressed the last part by rubbing a lock between his thumb and index, frizzing it up
《It would take too long to keep the curls all the time, I had to get them done 》She informed, forcing herself not to lean against the car window to get further away, hoping he would get the hint, then added《And I’m not human anymore – I’m dead. Wouldn’t clinging to how I looked before be counterproductive? 》
He finally left her hair alone, and started the car
《Dead or not, you can still try to be pretty 》
He had seemed to tolerate her well enough during the meetings, why did she need to change now?
《Is it the beauty standard, down there? To look as human as possible. Or is it just you? 》 she asked, out of curiosity. He gave her a side eye as if offended, and she explained 《I died recently, I’m just trying to figure out if it’s your preference or an actual thing 》
《Damn, Carmen, you do ask some weird questions 》 he laughed, shaking his head《I have no idea, I don’t really pay much attention to what others think. I’m into humans, if that’s what you’re asking – like... wouldn’t it be weird to do the deed with some kind of monster with seven tongues and four arms? Or with fur, or eyes where eyes don’t belong? Like, it’s normal that demons like that look for the same in a partner, but otherwise it’s just gross 》
Carmilla stayed quiet. It was true that her job at K.N.I.F.E included some unpleasant spectacles, like the private endeavours between cheating spouses, but she doubted it was due to the number of feathers or tentacles involved– she simply didn’t want to see other people have sex, and having to sneak in and gather proof was as uncomfortable as it could get... but. In different contexts, many hellish forms had their appeal, one to whom she had found herself quite receptive to.
At her silence, he insisted
《Take the boss – he’s so horrid he has built a domain on the repulsion factor, I doubt anyone would ever want to tap that 》
《I don’t think that lord Zestial relies that much on the way he looks – it’s more about charisma 》she replied, cautiously. It was a given that Zestial thrived on fear, and that he took pride in that, so getting defensive – especially with someone who had lost their soul to him – would have been pointless... but it still didn’t sit right with her.
Zestial looked down on almost everybody, but he seemed to do so more out of lack of compassion than outright cruelty... and that wasn’t even completely true, given how good he had been to her. He seemed to respect talent, and not too interested in meddling with the lives of the souls he owned... she was far from calling him a good man, but she had been forced to deal with much worse on earth.
She couldn’t forget the good qualities she had seen in the overlord, so, even if Marcus probably had his reasons to badmouth him, she didn’t feel comfortable partaking in it.
Her approach seemed to make him quite unhappy
《If you think so, 》 he started, condescending《 maybe you should ask him about the complex views of the hellish society on human-like individuals. He might even make you a little drawing on the side. 》
Carmilla hated that mock tone. What if she wanted to learn? Zestial seemed more than happy to teach her stuff, he had been disappointed when she had told him she couldn’t make it that morning.
She took a deep breath. It was better to wrap up that conversation before things turned too unpleasant.
《Okay, I will if I get the chance. 》she said, nonchalantly.
Marcus turned to her abruptly, almost hit another car, steered just in time, cursed the other driver, stopped the car on the side of the street and then turned once more to Carmilla, that was clinging to her seat, startled by the sudden jerking motion of the vehicle.
Maybe before getting an apartment or a laboratory or anything she should try to get a car – there was nothing she hated more than being a passenger
《You’re joking, right? 》he asked, frantic; he was so agitated, she barely got to utter a “no” before he slammed his fist against the wheel, interrupting her
《You can’t do that! He’ll tear your face into shreds!》 He shrieked, upset《I was just kidding, dammit. It’s a miracle he hasn’t yet made you pay for how despondent you act, stop pushing your luck 》
《I need to learn in a way or the other! 》she pushed back. She had found someone willing to nurture her curiosity, why couldn’t the people around her just be supportive, for once?
《By trusting a fucking psycho? Can’t you just settle for not knowing like the rest of us, or are you too good for it? 》
There was a deep, uncomfortable moment of silence.
《Did he ever hurt you? 》she blurted out. It wasn’t a good question, but she couldn’t stop it anyway
《What the fuck!? 》he hissed, as if slapped
《I need to know how he treats his souls, since I’m working with him. 》 she took a deep breath, trying to modulate her tone into something conciliatory 《Please – there’s something– anything– that you’re allowed to tell me? He doesn’t seem like a violent man. 》
Marcus deflated as well. He seemed torn, but not as if forced to stay quiet– more as if she had backed him into admitting a truth he couldn’t accept
《He never did. 》 He finally conceded《He doesn’t have a violent temperament, most of the time. But he’s no man– he’s a monster, and you’ll realise that soon. He isn’t nice to you out of respect, it’s a matter of pride; you’re a woman, and he likes to fancy himself a gentleman, it inflates his ego. He’ll discard you the moment you aren’t useful anymore》 he grimaced, as if his own tongue had turned sour《He doesn’t do that with his owned souls, that’s true, but it’s only because he’s a possessive bastard, so jealous of his toys he won’t allow others to play with them even when he’s done. 》
There were many feelings inside her, and none she was able to express. She felt exhausted all over again.
He stared at his hands, afraid to meet her gaze.
《You don’t believe me, do you? 》
《Not completely. 》she admitted. Zestial could certainly be dangerous... but the Overlord everyone warned her about and the man that had patched her up had little in common. Monsters can serve you sweets, but they never treat you like a person.
《I had heard that you and lord Zestial had got quite cosy after your misadventure, but I had refused to believe it until now 》He muttered, sounding almost disgusted
《He was kind enough to patch me up, that’s all. 》she corrected. Marcus wasn’t entitled to knowing every thing that went on in her head.
《Without clothes 》he remarked, glancing at her barely covered legs as if to get even at least on that front.
She stayed still, dignified, as if his accusation was such a low blow that even acknowledging it would have added insult to injury. She wouldn’t shrink in shame.
《I was lent a nightgown. You know, since I was covered in so much blood that my hair had turned red – what do you do, when you need to wash off? Jump in the shower with your boots on? Save it– I don’t want to hear 》she said, glacial, glaring at him with pure disdain when he tried to say something 《 If you’re done acting like my professional choices need your approval, I think we should let the matter rest – unless you want to spend the evening talking about lord Zestial, thing that you’re free to do with someone else, but in which I don’t want to have any part 》
《Would you really call out our date over this? 》he asked, shocked.
She shrugged.
《I’m not spending the night with someone who only wants to insult me to my face. 》
《I don’t want to insult you! 》 He protested, taking a deep breath to try to calm himself down《I’m... just a bit disappointed, I guess. 》
《Over nothing, really. 》
He stared at her as if she was hiding something horrible, but she didn’t bulge. Time passed thick and uncomfortable, until he finally gave in
《You’re right. This is our evening, enough sulking! 》 he tried, forcing a smile. He flexed his fingers, stretching slightly before turning the car on once more《are you ready? We will have tons of fun! 》
Carmilla nodded, but didn’t say much. The evening had decidedly started on the wrong note, but maybe they could salvage it. She had to be graceful, and not give Marcus’ outburst too much weight – his situation wasn’t easy, and maybe he had felt like she had preffered Zestial’s company over his... the fact he was somewhat right, convinced her to forgive him. They all had their bad moments, and now that he had let his anger out, things would surely go smoothly.
To her relief, things did seem to improve.
Once the car was somewhat parked and they started to walk around, conversation came a bit more easily. Carmilla marvelled at how lively the streets seemed now, compared to the weeks preceding the extermination: shops and restaurants open well into the night, each with its own atmosphere; the souls of Zestial’s domain seemed to prefer keeping most of their business indoors, with few tables on the side walk and bleak facades, but from the open doors and the few windows, came nice smells of roasts, spices and heated wine, accompanied by the sound of ancient music and a wave of warmth, that Carmilla could absolutely picture expanding from a well fed fire.
It tickled her curiosity, but she didn’t show it – she didn’t know what was Marcus’ relationship with these places, and wanted to avoid touching another sore spot. He seemed pretty confident about his plans for the evening anyway.
They had just stepped foot into the cinema, when from behind the counter a voice stopped them
《Sorry kids, the cinema is closed. 》
Marcus frowned, going to tap the wood twice
《We aren’t kids, it’s me! And weren’t you supposed to be open? The extermination has been over for weeks! 》
A lizard like demon finally emerged; his skin was made of scales, all light blue with orange dots, and his eye sockets seemed to move, from the sides of his head to a more human centre, like he was always transitioning between the two forms. He looked grumpy, all covered in grease stains, but not particularly bothered. There was something... sociable, in his demeanour
《Oh, hi Marcus. Yes, but our plumbing system didn’t get the memo.》He said, pointing to the rags placed to contain the damage to the inner part of the cinema《 We will be back on track next week, same spectacle same hour. 》
《I already bought the tickets for tonight! 》Marcus protested, unhappy with the turn of events.
The lizard-man shrugged
《We have a no refunds policy, you’ll have to wait for next week》
《Hank, this is ridiculous, couldn’t you send out a warning or something? 》
《If one day someone comes up with some kind of billboard where businesses can put live updates effortlessly and cheaply, we will use it, until then, it was on you to check. We did, in fact, hang a warning on the door this morning... ask one of the spiders, next time, they always know stuff. 》 he then nodded to Carmilla, finally noticing her《You should figure out something else, before your date freezes 》
Marcus didn’t even turn to her, and instead insisted
《She’s not cold, and at the very least I want my damn money back 》
《Out of the question 》
She was, in fact, very cold, but that was on her, she shouldn’t have taken Marcus literally, and now had only herself to blame for not bringing a jacket– and leaving her shawl in the car.
As the two argued, she looked around, trying to find something to keep her mind entertained
《You could promise free snacks 》 She spoke up, eyeing the price list hung on the wall; the two stopped their squabbling for a moment, and she continued《no refund annoys people, so they go elsewhere. If you promise, I don’t know, free popcorn and a soda for the next movie to all the ones that won’t be able to use their tickets tonight because of the plumbing, you’ll get less angry costumers and a fuller theatre right after reopening. It’s not like stale popcorn doesn’t end up in the trash anyway, you’ll cut your losses 》
Hank thought it over for a moment, before deciding it was indeed a great idea
《Damn, Marcus, where did you get this pretty thing? She’s smart! 》
He blushed a bit at that, but she couldn’t tell if it was a good or a bad thing
《We’re colleagues 》he muttered
《Another of lord Zestial’s souls? 》 he asked, surprised, turning to her with new interest 《you must be fresh, I would have remembered such a pretty face 》
《I’m not.... I’m just an hire. 》she replied, awkwardly. She couldn’t lie about something like that, but was she making things worse? Would Marcus feel like she was taunting him? She hoped not.
《Kid, you scored. Go take her somewhere nice 》Hank laughed, dropping the hammer in his pocket and climbing to the ceiling with no rope or stairs, moving like a lizard, as one does 《you know the way out, I have a business to get running 》
Before they could realise what was happening, the short demon was out of reach
《You ugly– 》Marcus protested, climbing on the counter to get a bit closer to him 《 come back, you overgrown lizard! 》
《I’ll give you free popcorn! 》Hank yelled from the ceiling, always laughing.
At the absurdity of the whole situation, Carmilla couldn’t help but start laughing as well
《What’s so funny? 》Marcus demanded, turning to her with a scorned expression
《It’s a bit funny. 》she pointed out, trying to suppress a giggle. She hadn’t seen such shenanigans since she had moved out of the group home.
《Maybe it is. 》 he conceded, starting to crackle as well. It was a nice sound.
He came down, and started to lead her to the door with an hand around her waist
《Come here, let’s go to the pub... at this point, it’s best to at least get some drinks 》
She agreed, and out they went. Someplace warm sounded heavenly right now.
As they walked, they tried to talk a bit about themselves.
She found out that Marcus had been dead a long time, having been born in the late XVIII century Bolivia; he told her he was the fifth son of formerly enslaved parents, but that he had never been an actual slave himself, and left it at that. Given the historical implications, Carmilla avoided pressing the topic, and moved to tell him a bit about her own childhood, focusing on the funnier stuff, even if on the spot not much came to mind.
Being both very private people that didn’t feel comfortable in sharing personal details on a first date, they soon found themselves in dire need for more conversation starters, but it was like walking a minefield– everything regarding the extermination seemed to rub him the wrong way, she wasn’t as enthusiastic about films as he was (but learned that he had adopted his current 70s aesthetics after watching the movie “Wattstax”, that he had absolutely loved, and she thought it was quite endearing), they had different pastimes...
Another unexpected barrier was the linguistic one– he spoke Spanish whenever possible, and was disappointed of finding out that she actually stuck to English most of the time; she explained it was the language she had grown up with, since her sister refused to speak anything else with her, and that even if she was perfectly capable of speaking Spanish, it didn’t feel always spontaneous, particularly after not using it for a bit– she didn’t know Chinese, and Pica liked English better than Mexican; the gang was a mix of German, Italian, French and Japanese that had ended up building its own vocabulary through the years... Zestial had died centuries ago, and given how many books written in French and Latin he owned, she considered it fortunate he spoke modern English at all.
She still tried to switch to Spanish with Marcus, to make him happy, but it just didn’t work out. While he had learned English after death, and kept up with the times through movies and social interactions, his Spanish was still the Bolivian variant from a century ago– the grammar was different, he used a slang she was completely unfamiliar with, even the pronunciation wasn’t the same... while it wasn’t his fault, and she was open to learn more, there was only so much she could enjoy of a conversation that she didn’t understand, and so she had asked to go back to English, or at least to some dialect they might have in common. He agreed, but she could tell he was annoyed, like she was doing this only to spite him, and it didn’t help the mood in the slightest.
In the course of the following three hours, they made the unpleasant discovery of having nothing in common outside their interest in mechanics and a couple of singers. She had the feeling he might actually be interested in fashion and sewing like her, but he denied it vehemently, like she would have thought any less of him... she didn’t get it, since he hadn’t made that much of a fuss during the extermination, but she guessed a thing were the boys, and another was a date, so that became an off topic as well.
They had gotten to the third bar of the evening, he refused to dance because there were some people he knew, the food didn’t convince her in the slightest, and she was so damn bored.
《You aren’t too good at having fun, are you? 》Marcus commented with a sigh, halfway into his second pint at that bar;
Carmilla looked up from the fries’ centre she had been pretending to be snacking on for the past ten minutes, unsure of what to say. Everything seemed a dead end, and she only wanted to go home.
《Sorry. I find it hard to relax around strangers... and I’m tired. 》
He looked at her, unconvinced, but let it drop
《Makes sense. Wanna cut this short and go somewhere else? 》
Please no.
They had already changed bars twice, and it was always the same. Marcus had no interest in starting a conversation, whatever she said seemed to rub him the wrong way, and if at the start of the evening they both seemed interested in getting laid, by now she had completely lost interest – she was bored, she was cold, she was disappointed, she felt uneasy... but it wasn’t like she could say all that.
《No, finish your drink 》 she assured, trying to smile《it’s not like we’re out of time 》
Marcus nodded, clearly still unconvinced, and went back to his drink.
《We could have split the bill. I have cash, I can give you back my half now 》Carmilla suggested, once they finally got out, trying to distract herself from the unforgiving wind.
《You ate, like... two fries. 》 He replied, a bit annoyed, before forcing himself to adopt a more polite approach 《Maybe I should have asked what you liked before picking the place 》
《No, it’s okay, really. I’m having some troubles adjusting to hellish foods, I found out that I don’t like burgers anymore tonight 》
《Lucky me, then 》he huffed, lightening up a cigarette.
《I’m sorry 》she apologised, sighing herself.
She was sorry for ruining his free evening, but she was also tired of having to apologise for everything, like this was all her fault. She was trying her best... what could she do, if she had never been much fun to hang out with?
She felt centuries old and exhausted, as they walked in the freezing night
《Na, it’s okay, adjusting is hard. 》 He tried to comfort, maybe finally taking notice of the sourness in her voice《So, what would you like to do? 》
《Maybe a stroll somewhere warmer? Here it’s quite windy. 》
He laughed, shaking his head
《Wanna admire the dumpsters’ panoramic? Unless we go inside, it’s cold everywhere. 》
She shrugged, hugging herself for warmth. She couldn’t avoid noticing how Marcus kept staring at her chest, and even it that was something she had expected, maybe even hoped for, while choosing her clothes, now it made her uncomfortable
《It’s 4 in the morning, I don’t know what there’s to do. 》
《Pizza? 》he suggested, almost to tease her
《I’m not hungry 》she snapped
《Wine? 》he doubled down, clearly enjoying riling her up.
That was going nowhere. But she had to be the bigger person.
《Is there a coffee shop or something? A cup of tea would be nice. 》 she proposed, because it seemed the most unproblematic option on the table, but after saying it out loud, she realised it would really be perfect: a coffee shop would be warm, clean, without strong smells or too many people... they could relax a bit, and then decide what to do. Even go to his house, if the mood improved a bit... it wasn’t like she hadn’t said yes to worse.
Marcus clearly didn’t think the same, as he gave her a grim stare
《What did I say? 》she asked, and he snapped, as if she was forcing him to spell the obvious out for her
《We’re in lord Zestial’s district. Of course there are teahouses. 》
She looked at him, still confused
《That’s good, isn’t it? We can grab a drink and be on our way 》
《Do you really want to go get tea while on a date? 》
He was getting angry, and she was too.
Deep breaths. Be the bigger person.
《Why not? I’m cold 》
《We can get whiskey 》
《I’m cold and I want to stay sober! 》
《I didn’t make you to be that fancy, sure thing you don’t dress like it. 》He snarled, cutting and judgmental.
Carmilla kept her stance, refusing to be shamed.
Be. The bigger person.
《I’m asking for a cup of tea, hot chocolate if we go wild, not for low tea with the Queen 》
Bigger person. She could do it.
《Damn, why are you so snappy? 》
Oh, fuck it. Enough is enough.
《I? I’m the snappy one? Everything I say seems to make you mad! What the hell is wrong with you tonight? And don’t say nothing, because I’m on my last nerve 》
She was mad, in a way that Marcus probably hadn’t expected, but by now he should have known she wasn’t the kind of woman that put up with nonsense forever
He looked at her, as if chastised
《I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be taking this out on you, I’m just... 》 he tried to find the right words《Mad. 》
《Did something happen? 》she asked, a bit more softly.
He stared at his shoes, as he muttered
《You and lord Zestial are getting a bit too cosy. I don’t like it. 》
She sighed, putting an hand on his shoulder, in an attempt to offer comfort
《I already told you, we aren’t getting cosy. 》
《But you two are getting along! 》he snapped, turning to her in a fit of rage, slapping her hand away 《It’s indecent! 》
It didn’t hurt, but the skin felt on fire where he had hit, and on instinct, she took a step back.
Suddenly she could feel the weight of the gun against her hip... the one she had brought in case they were ambushed again, but that now helped her to stay calm while confronting someone that was supposed to be on her side, and it wouldn’t even be the first time... no.
She had to keep her chill, there was no reason to escalate the situation... Marcus hadn’t attacked her yet, he was only struggling to keep his own emotions in check.
《Is it so bad if we have a civil relationship? 》 she started, with a different approach... if denying didn’t work, maybe she could try putting things into prospective for him《I work for Lord Zestial, and he has been quite kind to me. I don’t think you should be mad, since it doesn’t affect you, while for me this job is making a difference. 》
《Carmen, he fucking owns my soul, I hate him! 》 he yelled, throwing the cigarette he was holding to the ground《I hate him, I despise him, I wish him a world of troubles! 》
Carmilla paled a bit. Marcus was causing a scene, and while the street was mostly empty, it wasn’t a secret that Zestial had ears everywhere. She didn’t want to be associated with the commotion... but even more, she feared for what would be of her companion; she had no idea of how Zestial dealt with public displays of discontentment, and didn’t want to find out.
《Stop it! Let’s go somewhere else, if you want to scream! 》She pleaded, starting to drag him by the arm, but he ignored her
《He doesn’t care, terror is his favourite flavour 》
《Let’s go home anyway, I’m freezing! 》
She insisted, but he didn’t pay her any mind
《I don’t want to think about him while I’m enjoying my free time! 》
《Then don’t! I already told you to drop it hours ago! 》she replied, keeping dragging him towards where they had parked.
He let her lead the way, but was clearly mad about it as well
《You are making it hard! It’s like you’re doing this on purpose! 》
《What the hell are you talking about? 》she snapped, as he made them stop once more.
If he kept it up, she would throw him on her shoulder and get done with it.
《You keep talking about all these little things that remind me of him! The extermination, that stupid book, your last job, and now fucking tea! 》he accused
《Well, I don’t want tea anymore, are you happy? Let’s just go away 》
She pulled him forward, he pulled her back.
She hadn’t paid too much mind to it before, since he had seemed calm, but maybe she shouldn’t have let him drink that much.
With a final snap, he took his arm from her, pushing her away so energetically that she almost lost her balance
《Well, if you think I’m so hard to deal with, you should just go and fuck him, if you haven’t already! 》
For a moment, they stared in each other’s eyes, horrified, refusing to believe what he had just said. Carmilla let her arms drop by her sides as she straightened up, turning away
《Carmen, I— 》he started, full of regrets, but she cut him off, gelid.
《This date is over. 》
《No! I’m sorry. Do you want to— 》
《Let me get my shawl from the car and I’ll be on my way 》
《Carmen, really, I’m sorry. I was a jerk 》
《You were 》she replied, nonchalantly, continuing to walk, him close on her heels
《But— try to get in my shoes! You don’t know what it’s like, to be owned. 》
She made a full spin toward him, making Marcus almost crash against her, and stared in his eyes with unmasked disdain
《Do you think I’ve never had to deal with someone dandling their power over me? Or with someone who kept hurting me, while being unable to escape? It sucks, but you don’t go bleed on people who didn’t cut you! 》
《It’s different. 》 He tried to explain, at a loss for words or reasons《Whatever happened to you can’t have touched you so much, if you have still so much will to live! Pain ruins people in a way someone like you could never understand... 》
Something inside her boiled– an outrage, a rage that, she knew, she couldn’t afford to leave unchecked.
Was he really talking down to her as if she was some kind of sheltered flower? What did he know of her?
Of her, that had spent her childhood losing everything over and over again, that had lost her mother, her sister, her innocence? That had been forced to give herself up for a greater good before even becoming a woman, and that now would never get her life back?
What did he know, about being tied up, and locked where it was dirty and dark, because someone else couldn’t be bothered by her existence? Did he know how it felt, to be stuck in a bed, every muscle immobilised, bones in shreds, as the sun entered every day from the same window, tormenting her, making her sweat, mute and forced to endure it, her hair turning into mats against the pillow as she could feel, and never see, insects and cockroaches walk over her useless legs; she had survived everyone forgetting about her over and over again, she had raised above the pain, above the silence, had learned to dance again on her broken feet...
She had taken everything life dished her, and had done so without complaining or cruelty... how did he dare disregard the goodness that had cost her so much? She had fought to stay alive, and death wouldn’t be enough to make her surrender
She pushed all her feelings down, in the depths of her belly, until her face was empty, like her throat, like her chest, and when she spoke her words were little more than air and ice
《I suffered too. And I’m in hell just like you, don’t forget that. 》
《You’ve been for so little... 》
《And you for so long. It’s your new environment, learn to cope with it. 》cruelty didn’t come natural to her, but as she watched him shrink under her words, she felt a vague sense of satisfaction. She would have time to regret it, but right now, it was enough not to snap
《You’re being unfair 》he whispered
《I’ll live with it 》 she said with a shrug, taking notice of the street nearby, where a few cars were still travelling undisturbed by the hour《Screw the shawl, I’m stopping a taxi 》
She turned away once more, but he launched forward, clinging to her arm, strong enough to bruise, his nails almost digging into her skin as he pleaded
《No, please, don’t be like that, let’s not end this on a sour note. Please, Carmen? 》He spoke fast, his breath frantic, desperate《A drive around the city. I’ll buy you tea– please. Whatever you want. Another hour is all I ask. I don’t want to fight 》
She tilted her head to look at him.
Feelings were such a complex thing... but now she was empty, she didn’t feel anything anymore. She could have convinced herself she wasn’t there, hadn’t it been for the cold that had slowly climbed his way into the entirety of her body
《I’m sorry. I’m sorry, please, give me another chance. Please. 》Marcus kept pleading.
Why was he so anxious? Did he fear she would speak up? Didn’t he know she was a very quiet person? That she would never get him in trouble, even with himself?
She had no desire to stay... but if it made him happy, what difference did it make to her?
《Okay. 》 She conceded, and her voice felt rough, foreign《Let’s... let’s just get away from this wind. 》
Kids play dolls with whatever they have on hand.
Marcus remembered his sister, tying together rugs and leaves to make toys for their little cousins, feathers that used to fly everywhere as soon as the game got a bit rough... he remembered how the puppet’s head would never stay up, falling to the side as the neck was too weak to support it.
It was one of his fondest childhood memories, and now Carmilla reminded him a bit of that, a doll, that had no interest in playing but would give him free reign to do as he pleased.
It was a weird, scary feeling... to have that charming colleague of his so silent and abandoned as his hands roamed over her body, trying to get her back to the present... to him.
《You’re so pretty... my pretty lady. My pretty Imilla. 》 he called, as he kissed her neck, her mouth, her fingers absentmindedly caressing his curls from time to time.
They were in his car, they had drove some more, trying to talk. This time he did all the work, and finally realised how he really hadn’t made things easy for her the whole evening... he had ended up parking in the nicest spot he could find, and he had said something about how lovely she looked, before kissing her the first time.
Her lips were cold and numb against his, but it was a taste of life, and so he had kissed her again and again, until the seats were completely down and she was laying under him, his jacket abandoned to the side as his hands explored her body through the light fabric, yearning for more but not daring to even pull her shirt up, devastated by the lack of response
《I’m sorry, I was an idiot. Forgive me? I’ll make it up to you 》 he tried to coax, kissing the palm of her hand. It was big... too big to be human, but still warm and inviting against his face《I can make you feel good. Wouldn’t you like that? Talk to me, please... a nod will do 》
Carmilla made a sound as if giving him permission to do as he wanted, and he tried to make it work, to find in her expression an hint of enjoyment.
He slowly let his fingers slip under the waistline of her pants, to move her underwear to the side as his right hand pinched her nipple through the fabric... his head bowed a few centimetres from her lips, but he was unable to catch even the faintest moan.
It was like Carmilla wasn’t even inside her body, and he couldn’t go on like that.
He lifted himself from her, taking away his hands. At that, she actually looked at him for the first time since they had gotten back to the car, and he tried to smile, look somewhat reassuring
《Not in the mood, eh? 》he said, moving one of her curls to the side
《Does it matter? 》
Why was she looking at him like that? Did she really think he would just go on even if she was completely checked out?
《Of course it does. I don’t want to hurt you 》
《I’m not in pain. 》the indifference in her tone felt like a slap.
《That doesn’t make it right 》He said, separating from her abruptly and climbing back to his seat《It’s okay, it happens... I’ll take you straight home now, I promise. Are you okay? I should have water, somewhere. Do you need to eat? We can stop... 》
《I’m good. 》she assured, sitting up.
She didn’t seem particularly coherent, and he adjusted her seat for her before turning the car on
《That’s... that’s good. Perfect. 》
《Didn’t you want sex? 》she asked after a while
《Are you still in the mood? 》
She shook her head slowly
《No. 》
《Then, that’s your answer 》 he replied, eyeing her with badly concealed worry《Sex is the kind of thing where only two “yes” set things in motion 》
《Very mature 》
《One of the bright sides of hell 》
Minutes of quiet followed, as they both retreated in their own thoughts
Carmilla kept looking outside the window, and there was something about her that felt deeply disturbing... like all peace had left her for the night.
He just wanted to get her home safe and leave.
《Maybe we can try as friends. I think we put too much pressure on a single date 》she finally said
《I think we did...》 he admitted《but I’ve been here for so long. I don’t want a friend, I want something more. 》
《I don’t think I can give you that. 》
She replied, still without looking at him.
He had figured, but felt like trying wouldn’t hurt
《Can’t we even try? 》
《Not in the right way. 》
He laughed a bit, nervous, shaking his head
《And I thought you were into me. 》
《I didn’t mean to lead you on. 》
Well... she didn’t deserve to feel guilty on her own. It wasn’t like he had much to be proud of.
《It’s okay... I didn’t mean to turn our date into a pity party. 》
《You are handsome, if it’s of any solace. You’ll find someone to be with 》
《I would have to start looking around... and that’s not my forte. 》
《Maybe it’s time to change that 》 she turned to him for a brief moment, seemingly a bit more present《don’t settle for me just because I’m easy to deal with 》
He wanted to tell her that that was not the case... but he knew that deep down she was right. He had taken of her what he found alluring, disregarded the rest, and asked her out because someone else had placed her within his reach, sparing him from having to actually take any big initiative
《You’re a beautiful consolation prize. Enough to make one feel like a Winner, I’d say. 》he tried to joke. It didn’t seem to land.
《Maybe. But what good is it, if you can’t stand my personality? 》
《It’s not that I don’t stand it... you’re just... a bit too regal for a poor devil like me. But, I could learn to live with it! 》
《I’m very tired, Marcus 》she said, and she wasn’t crying, but he felt like maybe she would have needed to.
He had no idea of what to do, and just hoped he could get her to her house fast enough to avoid the whole situation to get out of hand
《I can turn off the radio... you can close your eyes a bit, I’ll wake you up once we arrive, we’re close 》
Five more minutes. He could last that long!
《No. I’m tired of being what people settle for. 》
《Well, you also settle for what’s available, don’t you? 》he asked, confused.
《I’m tired of that too 》
He didn’t get that. He didn’t get any of this.
《So, what will you do? 》
She shrugged a bit
《Focus on myself, work. Get an apartment. 》
《All alone? 》
《Maybe. At least until I don’t stop missing the stars 》
He nodded, sure enough he knew what she was talking about, at least about that. Once he had told her she would soon forget the moon... but now he realised she wouldn’t just let her memory slip through her fingers as many others tried to
《Solid plan. 》
They stayed quiet until destination.
《Are we still on good terms? 》she asked, seemingly out of nowhere, as he stopped the car
《Of course. And, should you change your mind, or get in the mood for a hook-up without anything at stake, hit me up, I’m your guy 》
《I like working with you too much, so for me there’s something at stake, and I don’t think I will risk it again. 》 She smiled, not happy but kind, and leaned to kiss him on the cheek before taking her shawl and slithering out the door《 Goodnight, Marcus. 》
She was magical... not something he could handle, but damn, was she a fairy
《Wait! 》he called, and she stopped to listen as she adjusted herself to be a bit warmer.
He had taken a resolution.
《If you want to know something so bad, you can go to the Universal Library. It has a waiting list, but it was founded by the Queen, and Overlords can’t meddle with it... it’s a bit safer of whatever you’re doing now. 》 He sighed, tightening his grip on the wheel to hide his worry《Don’t lose yourself, please》
《Thank you Marcus, I appreciate it 》she replied solemnly, and a moment later, she was gone.
As he watched her shadow disappear in the dark, Marcus slammed his head against the wheel, regretting half of his life choices.
《¿ Por qué hice eso?¡Siempre hago eso! 》
It didn’t matter that she wasn’t mad at him anymore... he still felt like a fucking idiot.
Notes:
I posted a drawing of Carmilla’s outfit here:
https://www.tumblr.com/mentha-vacciniumrainbow/780308118948151296/httpsarchiveofourownorgworks55591705chapters?source=shareThe second outfit... you'll see what it is for.
Give me a bit of time to explain why Spanish isn't Carmilla’s "first" language even if she's Mexican and spent most of her adult life speaking it. The reason is quite sad, and you'll soon get to know it.
"A looker" is 1920s slang for "good looking girl/lady". Zestial is trying to sound a bit more modern, to offer comfort better, but he's still a few decades off. He's doing his best
"Imilla" mens "young girl", and is used in Bolivia, Chile and Peru. Given its assonance with "Carmilla" I decided to make it the nickname Marcus has for her (even if privately).
The relationship between Marcus and Zestial is... complex, to put it lightly.
I might update the notes.
I should be able to post the "second part" of this chapter in two weeks.I hope you enjoyed!
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