Work Text:
May 1, 2024 - 12:30 AM
MONSTER KILLERS groupchat
Steve: i’m not even gonna try connections today i know it’ll just make me mad
Eddie: yeah today’s was really bad
Nancy: Connections
Puzzle #325
🟦🟦🟦🟦
🟨🟨🟨🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟪🟪🟪🟪
Eddie: kill yourself
Steve: 317 555 4493
Eddie: what is that
Eddie: oh my god
Eddie: is that the phone number for the funeral home by nancy’s apartment
Eddie: LMFAO can’t you just say kys like a normal person
Nancy: Wordle 1,047 2/6
⬛⬛🟩🟩⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Nancy: 😁
Eddie: go to hell
6:06 AM
Robin: you know some of us sleep normal hours and don’t appreciate our phones being blown up in the middle of the night
Robin: Connections
Puzzle #325
🟨🟨🟨🟨
🟩🟪🟩🟩
🟦🟪🟩🟩
🟦🟩🟩🟩
🟦🟦🟦🟦
🟩🟪🟩🟩
Robin: FUCK
Eddie: ha loser
Robin: you didn’t even do it
Eddie: i actually got purple no problem and then just gave up so
Robin: are you still fucking awake go to sleep
Eddie: no rest for the wicked bitch
6:25 AM
Steve: eddie passed out like two minutes after sending that btw
ROBIN & STEVE private messages
Robin: how do you know that
Robin: steve answer me
Robin: steve how did you know when eddie went to sleep
Robin: were you in his bed again
Robin: ????
Steve: chill out
Steve: i went and checked to see if he wanted breakfast before i left and he was already asleep 🙄
Steve: no i didn’t sleep in his bed again
Steve: that happened ONE TIME
Steve: and nothing happened. i told you that
12:30 PM
EDDIE & NANCY private messages
Eddie: lmfao i fell asleep in steve’s bed again
Eddie: idk
Eddie: do you think it means anything that steve invited me to his room to watch a gay as fuck movie on his laptop
Eddie: and that he did that stupid fucking yawn arm behind the back move on me
Eddie: and that he held me all night long while he slept and i played minecraft on his laptop
Eddie: i mean it could mean nothing right. maybe the arm thing wasn’t a move
Nancy: no wonder you’re so bad at connections
Eddie: that’s cold, wheeler. sorry not everyone knows a plane is meant to go with point and line and not the word FLY. some of us failed geometry twice
Eddie: jesus fucking christ
Eddie: is that a yes or a no on the steve thing
Eddie: it’s kinda killing me
Eddie: no man has ever made me jork it this much
Nancy: this conversation is over
Eddie: okay sorry
Eddie: do you want to see the house i built last night
Eddie: i used steve’s back as a mousepad btw
Eddie: can i be honest
Eddie: i built the house in creative mode
Eddie: jeff made me an operator in the realm so i can just switch back and forth whenever i want
Eddie: i went in creative mode to do one thing and then i just never turned it off
Eddie: but i think it’s okay because i did build the same house in survival mode once so ive already proven myself
Eddie: but i also cut corners the first time because i didn’t have everything i needed
Eddie: and this new house has way more stuff so i didn’t actually prove myself at all if you think about it
Eddie: and i spawned a bunch of mobs into a pit with eggs and killed them all for XP
Eddie: is that cheating
Nancy: oh my god eddie you need more friends
Nancy: i’m BUSY at WORK
Nancy: but yes, show me your house
Eddie: i think gareth uses creative mode too
Eddie: i went to his house and he has at least 20 dogs
Eddie: there’s no way he got all those variants from all the different biomes and got them home without getting killed
Eddie: and dying and respawning at home leaves your dog where it is if it’s too far away
Eddie: one of my dogs got killed last night and i almost started crying
Eddie: right there in steve’s bed
Eddie: do you think he would’ve known something was wrong and woken up to wipe my tears
Eddie: he would’ve asked what was wrong… and how to fix it…. and i would say oh woe is me…. the only thing to fix this… is to suck a dick
Nancy: eddie
Nancy: that’s enough. go back to sleep
Eddie: AND ALSO
Eddie: there’s just no way gareth had enough bones to tame that many of the wolves into dogs
Eddie: each one takes like 3 to work. sometimes more
Eddie: do you know how many skeletons you’d have to kill to get all those bones
Eddie: A LOT OF SKELETONS
Eddie: okay i’m sleepy again
MONSTER KILLERS groupchat
Nancy: we need to get eddie a new hyperfixation
Nancy: i can’t keep hearing about minecraft
Steve: you know he's had a minecraft related dream every day this week
Steve: he like closes his eyes and sees the blocks in his head
Steve: he told me he had a dream where he spent all his money on a bike at walmart, ate a bad edible that was laced with some shit and he started hallucinating on the bike ride home and saw endermans everywhere
Steve: and then he got accused of murder
Robin: so not too different from his real life then
Eddie: 🙄
Eddie: steve i told you that in confidence. you’re making me look like an obsessive loser who only thinks about minecraft
Nancy: yeah STEVE’S making you look like that
Eddie: okay should i kill myself then
CONCERNED CITIZENS - new groupchat
Robin: steve are you home rn
Steve: no i’m working
Nancy : can you call eddie and check on him or something
Steve: what, because of a joke about killing himself?
Robin: need we remind you of spring break 2020
Steve: we don’t even know if that was a real attempt or not.
Robin: well he 100% knew he wasn’t making it out of that alive before he did it so
Nancy: yeah, steve, honestly. just check on him, okay?
STEVE & EDDIE private messages
Steve: hey man
Eddie: what’s up
Eddie: i really killed the chat huh
Eddie: tough crowd
Steve: it’s just that like
Steve: we all kinda classified your whole thing with the bats as a suicide attempt
Steve: so
Steve: i mean, i don’t know, right? but the girls are concerned
Eddie: do you guys have a groupchat without me
Eddie: oh that just made my chest hurt stevie
Eddie: how will i ever recover from this
Eddie: you cant see me but i’m clutching my chest and falling to the ground wailing in sorrow right now
Steve: eddie
Eddie: yeah, yeah. whatever. i’ll cool it with the killing myself jokes. happy?
Steve: man, i don’t really care what jokes you make as long as you’re doing okay
Steve: if that’s how you cope or whatever, then i can’t judge
Eddie: aw you care about my wellbeing
Eddie: but not enough to let me be in all your groupchats…. how long has this been going on for steve
Eddie: its okay…. ill leave monster killers so you can have your fun without me…. i understand
Steve: you’re so fucking dramatic dude
Steve: and the groupchat was made ten minutes ago
Eddie: :( ten minutes without me
CONCERNED CITIZENS
Steve: eddie’s fine
2 PM
STEVE & NANCY private messages
Nancy: you’re lying to robin
Steve: what ever happened to ‘hello’
Nancy: hello. you’re lying to robin
Steve: says who
Nancy: says eddie and robin are my best friends and they’re both telling me conflicting stories
Steve: eddie’s telling you about me? what’s he saying?
Nancy: you never had this bad of a problem asking me out in high school, so what’s the difference with eddie? he’s sleeping in your bed! and you’re lying to robin about it!
Steve: no i told robin i didnt sleep in EDDIE’s bed. i didn’t say eddie didn’t sleep in mine
Nancy: you tell robin everything
Steve: and thats the whole reason
Steve: robin knows everything about me
Steve: sometimes i just want things that are for myself. is that bad? i feel bad sometimes
Nancy: obviously not
Steve: okay then what’s the big deal
Steve: i really like him, nance
Steve: and i know he’s not that close to robin
Steve: its not really my place to tell her that eddie stays in my bed and lets me cuddle him all night
Steve: especially when me and him aren’t even dating? and robin kind of teases about this stuff. and she gives me that look, like she pities me because i didnt have my sexuality crisis until twenty when everyone else around me had theirs at like
Steve: ten
Nancy: she doesn’t look at you like that
Steve: i dont want to talk about this anymore
Steve: i just need to figure everything out with eddie before i talk to robin about it. she always wants me to talk things through with her
Steve: some things don’t need to be talked through!
Nancy: okay, steve. i understand
Nancy: for what it’s worth, i didn’t have mine at ten either
Steve: i know
Nancy: and you should just be honest with eddie
2:20 PM
CORRODED COFFIN - minecraft realm
EddieTheBanished: oh **** steve’s home. i gotta go
EddieTheBanished: what the **** i forgot minecraft censors bad words
EddieTheBanished: goodbye world
EddieTheBanished set own game mode to survival.
EddieTheBanished has fallen from a high place.
EddieTheBanished has left the game.
GarethTheGreat: he knows he doesn’t have to kill himself every time he disconnects right
JeffCC: i don’t know if he does
Freak03: he doesn’t
GarethTheGreat tried to swim in lava.
GarethTheGreat: ****
CORRODED COFFIN groupchat
Eddie: btw i forgor i’m not allowed to make jokes about killimg myself anymore. steve said nancy and robin don’t like it 😐
Eddie: sorry if that concerned you all
Eddie: im working on bettering myself
Gareth: shut the fuck up no you aren’t
Eddie: no i’m not lmfao
Eddie: remember we’ve got a gig tomorrow boys
Eddie: in case steve lets me suck his dick and i dont have time to remind you again before tomorrow
Jeff: dont bruise your throat we need you in tip top shape for tomorrow
Eddie: well hopefully i’m in tip top shape AND get topped by someone’s tip
Freak: what the fuck
Jeff: i shouldn’t have said anything
Eddie: sorry that was fucking stupid
Eddie: i’ll workshop it
Gareth: no need to do that
Eddie: oh so it was good
Gareth: fuck no
Eddie: ouch. i’m going to talk to someone who actually likes me
Ronnie: i’m so glad i didn’t leave this groupchat when i left the band
Dougie: no for real
Ronnie: i’m rooting for you btw munson
Eddie: at least somebody loves me
Eddie: ronnie just say the word and you’re back in the band i think the drummer position is about to open up
Gareth: HEY
4:45 PM
MONSTER KILLERS
Eddie: gig tomorrow who’s gonna be there
Steve: me :)
Robin: nah gotta work. break a leg
Nancy: i’ll try to make it
6:00 PM
CORRODED COFFIN groupchat
Eddie: okay i’m back
Ronnie: i take it no dick sucking is happening tonight
Eddie: sigh. alas
Eddie: no
Eddie: steve brought home dinner and then passed out in front of the TV
Eddie: the king needs his beauty rest
Eddie: also i have no fucking clue how to even open up that conversation. how do you fucking. ask to suck someone’s dick
Ronnie: you’ve literally done it before
Ronnie: you’ve told us in detail about several of the dicks you’ve sucked
Eddie: okay but those didn’t count
Eddie: i actually like steve and want to have his children and marry him and i’ll kill myself if he doesn’t feel the same way
Eddie: how do i even know if he likes me!!!
Gareth: eddie are you gonna play minecraft tonight
Eddie: yeah lmao let me go get steve’s laptop
11:50 PM
STEVE & NANCY private messages
Nancy: by the way, you have less than a month to tell eddie how you feel
Steve: what? why?
Nancy: my lease is up in 30 days and i need a new place to live
Steve: ???
Nancy: i’m moving into eddie’s room. you need help with rent anyway and you need to just move him into your room full time
Nancy: he’s sleeping there most nights already
STEVE & EDDIE private messages
Eddie: who are you texting
Steve: i’m laying right next to you why are you texting me
Eddie: feels too quiet in here to talk
Eddie: who are you texting
Steve: you now
Eddie: did you just hear my sigh and see my eyes roll
Steve: i’m texting nancy
Eddie: oh okay
Steve: is that okay?
Eddie: sure
* * *
Steve locks his phone and puts it back down on his wireless charger. He rolls over in bed to face Eddie, who’s looking at him with his big eyes lit up by the glow of his own phone. Steve slips an arm over Eddie’s waist and tugs him in close.
“Is this okay?” Steve asks softly into Eddie’s arm.
Eddie squeaks out a little yeah and snuggles in closer.
“We have to talk,” Steve says.
“It’s too quiet in here,” Eddie whispers back.
“Alexa, play Spotify,” Steve says, turning to watch the device light up blue before she says okay, playing Spotify.
The opening notes of Immigrant Song play far too loudly through the small speaker. Eddie was the last to use it, and it makes Steve smile, picturing Eddie playing his game all day in Steve’s room. Eddie uses his phone to turn the volume down a few levels.
“Nancy just told me her lease is up this month,” Steve says. “And she needs a place to live.”
“Oh. What’s she gonna do?”
“Well, since you’re, like, unemployed and don’t pay rent here, I was thinking she could move into your room.”
Eddie sits up abruptly, looking down at Steve with a hurt look on his face.
“You’re kicking me out? I can — I mean, I do have a job. Kind of. I can pay rent!” Eddie blurts out. “I just thought — you said your parents were paying our rent, you said it was fine, so I didn’t—”
“Hey, hey,” Steve says, gentling him with a hand on his arm. “I’m not kicking you out, and I’m not making you pay rent. Your gigs don’t pay that much, man, I know that, and you need it for your T and shit, so — no, I didn’t mean it like that. And by the way, my parents pay my rent. I’ve been covering yours this whole time.”
Eddie squawks out some sort of surprised noise and Steve laughs under his breath.
“And I’m not kicking you out. I was gonna ask if you’d move in with me, actually,” Steve says. He holds his breath, waiting for the answer.
He thinks he can hear the gears turning in Eddie’s head, each click bringing Steve closer and closer to something he’s been avoiding for years at this point. Almost four years living with Eddie and Steve’s been crushing the entire time — too scared to ruin their friendship or to make things awkward between them as roommates.
It’s taking Eddie so long to answer that Steve thinks maybe his fears weren’t unfounded. Maybe Eddie just isn’t interested in him and —
“News flash, Steve, but I already live with you,” Eddie finally says. “Like I moved in with you three and a half years ago if you happened to miss that.”
“No, no, no,” Steve says. “I mean move in here. Into my bedroom.”
“Why would — I mean… Would that mean…”
“Eddie, oh my god,” Steve huffs. “I’m asking you to move in here because I want you to be my boyfriend!”
If Steve wasn’t already completely head over heels in love with Eddie, the little gleeful laugh he lets out in response to that would send Steve tumbling the rest of the way there. He throws himself at Steve, landing on top of him and nearly sending them both off the edge of the bed.
“Boyfriend, huh?” Eddie asks.
“Yeah, Munson, what do you say?”
Steve rolls Eddie over onto his back and fits himself over him. Eddie’s legs spread around him, his big brown eyes staring up at him through his bangs. It’s dark in the bedroom, just a little bit of light from the hallway creeping in, but Steve can see Eddie and the little private smile on his lips.
“Yeah, okay,” Eddie says, all casually like Steve asked him if he wants to watch a movie or help him with laundry.
Steve kisses him.
Their phones both ding at the same time and they both pull away and breathe out quiet laughs.
Eddie digs his phone out of the blankets and unlocks it to show Steve the new message.
May 2 2024 12:03 AM
MONSTER KILLERS
Nancy: Wordle 1,048 3/6
⬛🟨⬛⬛⬛
🟩🟨⬛⬛🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Eddie types something out and Steve watches as he hits send on it and then tosses his phone onto the nightstand on his side of the bed. It’s always been Eddie’s side in Steve’s head, but now it really, officially is.
“Are you going to kiss me again, or what?” Eddie asks.
His bottom lip juts out in a little pout that has always driven Steve crazy. Completely up the wall batshit insane if he’s being completely honest. He’s always had the urge to take Eddie’s bottom lip between his own and suck on it, to kiss and bite and kiss some more.
And now he can, he realizes. He’s allowed to do that.
Just before he does, he grins and says, “I’m gonna do a whole lot more than kiss you, baby.”
* * *
2:30 AM
CORRODED COFFIN groupchat
Eddie: okay so i’m a liar
Eddie: guess who has a boyfriend
Jeff: is that why you haven’t been on minecraft all night
Eddie: well yes
Eddie: turns out steve’s dick is huge
Eddie: might need to use my cane tomorrow. don’t think i’ll be able to walk after all that
Gareth: aren’t you supposed to be using it anyway
Eddie: says who
Gareth: says your doctor because you got a chunk of muscle taken out of your thigh???
Eddie: okay well yes but
Jeff: that happened to my buddy gregory house
Eddie: he got his pussy pounded so hard he couldn’t walk the next day?
Jeff: no he… never mind
Eddie: *1 image* [Steve passed out, face down in bed, lit up in the dark by the flash]
Eddie: boy pussy so good steve fucking died
Ronnie: is that a reference to a meme or something
Eddie: https://www.tumblr.com/rozmiatacz/714651824291987456/boy-pussy-so-good-archie-fucking-died
Ronnie: you had that link ready to go way too fast
Eddie: boy pussy so good archie fucking died
Jeff: i still can’t believe you’ve seen the entirety of riverdale more than once
Eddie: in a lot of ways. i am jughead jones
Eddie: riverdale was based off hawkins
Freak: we should sue
Eddie: i’m going to assign riverdale characters to all of you guys and our next campaign will be a riverdale special somehow
Ronnie: goodnight
Gareth: i gotta go feed my dogs
Freak: im busy that day
Jeff: i just simply don’t want you to do that
Eddie: fine. steve’s waking up anyway
Ronnie: USE PROTECTION
Jeff: could you imagine a tiny eddie running around
Eddie: 😅😅😅
Gareth: what’s that supposed to mean
Gareth: eddie what do you mean by that
4 AM
EDDIE & NANCY private messages
Eddie: fuck you
Eddie: don’t bother coming to my show tonight we aren’t friends anymore
Nancy: good morning eddie. what did i do now
Eddie: when you and steve were together you gave him all these statistics about the the effectiveness of birth control and now he’s insisting we use condoms every time we fuck
Nancy: okay and
Nancy: also congratulations. i’m glad you both finally got your heads out of your asses
Eddie: AND!!!!! steve won’t cum inside me
Eddie: and it’s all your fucking fault
Eddie: i’ve been denied three times already tonight….. do you know how many that’ll be multiplied by the rest of my life
Eddie: i don’t think i can live like this
Nancy: you just got together eddie
Nancy: he just doesn’t want to get you pregnant???? when you’re ready to try then do whatever you want
Eddie: i’m going to be 25 this year! my mom had me at 19 and died when i was 6. do you know how old than made her
Eddie: i’m running out of time!
Nancy: no you are not, eddie munson
Nancy: i love you and i'll be at your show tonight. i’m going back to sleep
Eddie: love you too :(
Nancy: i think next time you announce your relationship to people maybe leave out the part about wanting steve to finish inside you by the way
Eddie: 🙄
Eddie: okay fine
1:20 pm
STEVE & EDDIE private messages
Eddie: hi
Steve: morning baby
Eddie: :)
Steve: did you sleep okay
Eddie: like the fucking dead
Steve: good
Eddie: how’s work
Steve: slow. i’ve drank two monsters already trying not to fall asleep from boredom
Eddie: fucking me all night probably didn’t help ):
Steve: not at all. worth it though ;)
Eddie: mwah 😘
Steve: ❤️✊🫢
Steve: that’s me catching your kiss
Eddie: is it too soon to say i love you
Eddie: jk
Eddie: unless…?
Steve: not too soon. i’m pretty sure i said it like three times last night
Eddie: remind me??? say it again???
Steve: 🙄
Steve: love you
Eddie: are we telling people
Eddie: i already told nancy. sorry
Eddie: i had to yell at her for poisoning your mind against creampies
Steve: you didn’t
Steve: please tell me you didn’t
Steve: not the telling her part. idc about that because she’s the one that made it happen actually. i mean the creampie part please tell me you didn’t actually say that to my ex
Eddie: 🤐
Steve: if you really want me to cum in you i will
Steve: but we’re both getting tested first
Steve: and we’re having a loooong talk about what happens if your BC fails
Eddie: jumping for joy right now
Steve: also yeah we can tell people
Eddie: good because i told my band too
MONSTER KILLERS
Eddie: i have an announcement to make
Eddie: i’m officially moving into steve’s room
Eddie: because he’s my boyfriend now
Steve: :)
Robin: that’s crazy. last i heard nothing was going on between you two
Eddie: we move fast
Eddie: already said i love you’s and wrote our vows and everything
STEVE & ROBIN private messages
Robin: hmmmmmm
Steve: i just asked him out last night
Steve: i really like him
Robin: i know. i’m happy for you. if he breaks your heart he’s toast
Steve: im not worried about it
May 3 12:15 AM
MONSTER KILLERS
Eddie: just used the $50 i made at my gig tonight to buy plan B
Eddie: guess who’s getting fucked raw
Steve: not tonight!!!
Eddie: no fair
Steve: you said you were going to get snacks did you actually spend all your money on plan B or
Robin: can you guys not do this here please
Jonathan: wait a second
Jonathan: is eddie trans
Eddie: i talk about my pussy all the time dude
Jonathan: i thought that was just a gay thing i didn’t know you meant it literally
Jonathan: btw do you have any weed
Eddie: yeah obviously. i’ll bring you some tomorrow
Jonathan: cool
Nancy: i always forget you’re in this chat
Jonathan: me too
Robin: i wish i could forget i’m in this chat
Eddie: omw home from the pharmacy. can u be naked and hard when i get home
Eddie: wrong chat
Robin: oh my god
STEVE & EDDIE private messages
Eddie: omw home from the pharmacy. can u be naked and hard when i get home
Steve: 💀
Steve: of course baby