Whispers in the Dark [Kagehina]

by bo_love

Summary:

Kageyama is a lonely alpha working by himself in the bakery his grandfather left him. Hinata is a desperate, pregnant omega who asks him for a job. Living and working together throughout Hinata’s pregnancy and birth, they grow closer in their shared passion for baking and their love for the tiny pup. But despite mutual pining, insecurities and past mistakes keep them from voicing their feelings.

Notes:

Welcome to my third kagehina omegaverse fic. I've been toying with this idea for a long time and finally started writing it down. This one will be low angst. It's a slow burn, friends to lovers, single-parent story that will have lots of fluff, pining and eventual smut. Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Beginning

Kageyama works quietly in the kitchen, his focus entirely on the texture of the dough he is kneading with his bare hands. Soft classical music plays on a small Bluetooth speaker on a nearby counter. He isn't sure of the composer, but it was one of the ones Kazuyo used to listen to, maybe Mozart or Bach. The melancholy timbre of the violins causes Kageyama to feel a nostalgia for his grandfather that is somehow simultaneously pleasant and sad.

He is lost in his own world, his mind occupied with pastry dough and fillings, ingredients and baking times, on which special recipe he wants to make for the weekend. He works alone, as usual, his only words of the day spoken sparsely with customers who come to buy his treats and praise his goods as if they tasted like a piece of heaven.

Kageyama is used to the silence, embraces it most times. He is comfortable in the kitchen he grew up in and feels like he belongs here, if nowhere else. Among the ovens and mixers and counters of his childhood, he can imagine that his life is fine, no more than he ever expected, no more than he deserves.

He inherited the business, the building, and the upstairs apartment when Kazuyo died. The bakery allows him to feed himself and pay for necessities. He has no debt, minimal bills and modest needs, so the unexceptional income from the small operation is sufficient. He has no family besides his sister, whom he talks to and texts with every day. He has a long-haired calico cat named Mikeneko, whom he dotes on. He doesn't go out to bars or restaurants, rarely shops or ventures out for no reason. He has no friends to speak of, only the regular customers who greet him like an acquaintance.

He has no life beyond the bakery and the apartment.

But as long as he has his baking, as long as he can envision and create sweet concoctions with his bare hands, as long as he can sell them for enough to live, there is nothing else he needs in life.

At least that's what he tells himself.

The bakery's bell chimes indicating a customer has entered. Kageyama quickly rinses his hands and wipes them off on the towel hanging from the belt of his white apron that he wears over worn jeans and a faded blue t-shirt that Miwa bought him years ago.

He exits through the door to enter the area by the counter. He is greeted by a sight that fascinates him. A short red-haired man standing by the doorway, his eyes closed, his head tilted back.

The man is beautiful, mesmerizing like that, as if frozen in time, a look of ecstatic joy on his face. His messy hair is tousled with unruly curls, his nose is cute and perfectly proportioned for his face, his eyebrows the same ginger hue as his hair. But it's his lips that capture Kageyama's attention. They are plump and pink and slightly parted.

They are perfect for kissing.

As Kageyama stands silently gawking, the redhead opens his eyes and looks at Kageyama across the small expanse of the room. He smiles and Kageyama takes in a sharp breath.

The man's eyes are a deep, rich golden brown, alight with mischief and delight and excitement, and his smile is wide and blinding. It lights up his whole face, and whereas before he looked peaceful and ethereal, now he looks blinding and joyful and absolutely captivating.

Kageyama's heart skips a beat, and he feels a foreign flutter in his gut. Though he is embarrassed at his body's reaction to the man, he is unable to look away.

"It smells amazing in here," the man remarks, locking his amber eyes with Kageyama's, seemingly holding him hostage with the intensity of his gaze alone.

Despite his warm feelings, Kageyama snorts. "Of course it does. It's a bakery." Kageyama immediately regrets his harsh words as the voices of his grandfather and sister echo in his head, telling him his words are too blunt and not at all tactful or friendly.

The man seems unperturbed by Kageyama's gruff, almost rude reply. He continues to smile as he approaches the display case where Kageyama has artfully arranged his offerings. The man's eyes scan the items greedily, his hands tracing lightly on the glass as if he'd love to touch as well as see what's inside.

The faint smell of cinnamon and sugar wafts into Kageyama's nostrils, which momentarily confuses him because he didn't make cinnamon rolls today. It takes him a moment to recognize that the sweet scent is coming from the man in front of him. An omega then. Kageyama is somewhat relieved to discover this fact, attributing his strange reactions to his alpha instincts rather than anything that he might have control over.

"Everything looks so good!" the man exclaims, almost with a whine.

"Everything is good," Kageyama responds, without arrogance. He is just stating facts. He knows his pastries and cakes are superb in every sense. But again he wonders at his tone, questions his response, considers what he should have said instead. What would Kazuyo have said in this situation?

The man tears his eyes from the case and meets Kageyama's gaze. He laughs then, and the sound is full and rich and makes Kageyama's stomach tighten in an unfamiliar fashion. The omega orders four different types of pastries and Kageyama has barely passed him the small box before the man shoves the first one into his mouth. He closes his eyes and inhales deeply, humming with satisfaction. Kageyama's stomach betrays him and flips again.

"Did you make all of this?" the man asks, opening his eyes. He now looks fascinated and impressed and Kageyama feels the familiar pride in his work. The omega has a small dusting of powdered sugar at the corner of his mouth.

Kageyama wants to lick it off.

"Yes," Kageyama answers simply, ignoring strange impulse.

"Gwah! I want to make all of these pastries and more. I'm going to have my own bakery one day. I don't have the right equipment yet, but I do my best with what I have. I'm going to learn everything I can, and I'm going to be a better baker than you someday!"

Kageyama snorts again. "You're going to make pastries better than mine?" For some reason, Kageyama's heart is beating too fast. Instead of worrying about his mocking tone and offensive words, a particular memory of his grandfather rises to the forefront of his consciousness. He forces it away, and focuses on the challenge in front of him.

"Yes, I will," the man says as if this is a trivial thing.

Kageyama feels his hackles rise. Who is the guy anyway? He crosses his arms over his chest and scowls. He sees the man's eyes flutter down to his arms and then back, and thinks he sees the flush of pink on the man's cheeks. Kageyama guesses the man is embarrassed by his careless and frankly unrealistic proclamation.

"You? Are going to beat me? Even if I'm the best in Tokyo? The best in Japan? Even the world?" Kageyama's voice is harsh and scornful. Again, he knows his tone is off-putting, offensive even, but right now he doesn't care. He knows he insulted the man, but instead of looking angry, the short redhead just appears determined.

"If that's what it takes to beat you, then yeah, I'll be the best in the whole world! I don't care how long it takes, ten or twenty years or whatever."

"Yeah, well, you have a long way to go, so you better get going."

"How do you know that?"

"You said you don't even have the right equipment."

"Not all of us have the opportunity to work in bakeries at such a young age." The bitterness in the man's voice causes a strange emotion to bubble to the surface. Kageyama doesn't have a name for it.

"So?"

"So, I know I've got catching up to do. But I will. You mark my words."

Kageyama is trying to figure out how to respond when the man hastily wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, erasing the dusting of sugar from his lips. Kageyama is focused on the corner of the omega's mouth where the sugar used to be, strangely disappointed.

"How much do I owe you?" the man asks, breaking Kageyama from his bizarre train of thought.

It takes Kageyama's brain a few heartbeats to catch up with the conversation. He feels heat rise to his cheeks and ducks his head to hopefully avoid detection. He tells the man the total, then takes the money and tucks it into the cash register. The man hesitates before leaving.

"I'll be back. And I'll prove you wrong." He looks so intense right now that Kageyama's breath hitches. The man's eyes blaze with determination, with rare conviction. He looks like an avenging angel, a warrior. Kageyama is unable to look away.

"I'll be waiting." Kageyama doesn't know where the words came from, and adamantly refuses to attribute any significance to them. It was just a manner of speaking, meaningless words, empty promises.

The only kind of promises there are.

The man continues to the exit, throwing one last look over his shoulder as he reaches the door. For a second, Kageyama thinks he is going to say something else, but he doesn’t, just turns and walks away. The bells over the door fall silent after a second and Kageyama is again met with the quiet atmosphere he is used to.

But now the quiet seems deafening, like the man's exit caused a massive void or a black hole. It was as if the man stole the electricity from the air when he departed, took the energy in the room with him as he went. The bakery feels colder and dimmer now.

Kageyama shakes off the peculiar sense of loss. Although the interaction with the customer was unusual, it was just that. A customer came to buy his pastries and left. There is no more significance to it than that. He often gets repeat customers, so there is a chance the man will come back again.

Kageyama hates that he hopes he will.

He scolds himself for his fanciful and irrational thoughts about the stranger that he will likely never see again. He forcefully pushes away the poignant memory of his grandfather's premonition. He heads to the kitchen to finish the batch of pastry dough, back to his boring, predictable, lonely life, and adamantly refuses to give any thought to the intriguing omega. He knows that the meeting was only a brief aberration in the trajectory of his pathetic life, worth no more thoughts, no more energy.

No more hope.

He continues with the only thing that brings him comfort and satisfaction, working with the dough, throwing himself into his recipes, his craft. If he focuses on this, his life, such as it is, is enough for him.

At closing time, he cleans his work area and checks again that the ovens are off. He locks the front door and turns the sign so the "Closed" is visible from the outside. He turns off the lights and makes his way to the back stairwell that leads to his apartment upstairs. He greets Mikeneko as she curls around his legs, practically tripping him as he fills her food bowl. He fixes himself a simple dinner of oyakodon and eats it in front of the television, which is almost constantly tuned to cooking channels. The apartment is quiet except for the droning from the TV and the occasional meow from Mikeneko.

After dinner, he texts Miwa and they share snippets from their days. She lives across town, and they sometimes have dinner together, but she is working late today.

A few hours later, Kageyama readies for bed. He turns in early since he wakes up before five o'clock to start baking for the day. He lies in his bed, staring into the darkness. Against his will, images of the beautiful man fill his brain, his blazing eyes, his ample lips. Kageyama rolls to his side, trying to push away the errant thoughts, but he is unable to do so. Perturbed, he blames his stupid alpha for his reaction.

Forcing his eyes closed, he tries to distract himself by listing everything he has to accomplish tomorrow, but he only gets partway through before his thoughts drift back to the omega with the intoxicating scent and the determination and confidence of an alpha. The juxtaposition is what intrigues him, Kageyama decides. Again, his grandfather's words from that fateful day ring clearly in his brain. Kageyama squeezes his eyes tighter and wills away the preposterous, tenuous hope that threatens to plant itself in his subconsciousness and ultimately wound him.

He will not think about the omega. He will not think about the future.

He spends some time fortifying the wall he has erected around his heart, cataloging all the reasons why his life is fine.

He falls asleep to the low hum of the fan and the soft, comforting purr of Mikeneko asleep by his side.

///

Chapter 2: Desperation

Summary:

Hinata finds himself unexpectedly pregnant and desperate to escape his situation. He goes to the only place he can think of, the one place that made him feel welcome.

[Three months later]

 

Hinata stares with panicky disbelief at the plus sign on the plastic stick he is holding. It might as well be a huge neon sign flashing at him, "You're pregnant, you stupid fucking omega." He is still gaping as the blood starts to whoosh in his ears and his heart starts thumping erratically.

How could this have happened?

He is on birth control. He has been on birth control for a long time. His brain struggles to come to terms with the evidence he is seeing in front of his eyes.

In desperation, he grasps at the instructions again, looking for what the signs mean, hoping by some miracle that a plus sign means he's not actually pregnant. He knows this is foolish, but he does it anyway, reads the caption over a few times just to be sure, checks the stick again, his head swinging back and forth between the paper and the plus sign like some hopeless, oblivious pendulum.

When his brain catches up with the reality of the result, he next scans the text for the chances of a false positive. It is very rare, less than a one percent chance, but maybe that is what's happening.

As he wraps the test in tissue and puts the opened box and instructions back into the drugstore bag, he convinces himself this must be the case. He should go to a doctor and confirm that this is all a mistake.

Because the alternative is unthinkable.

He crumples up the bag and shoves it into his backpack. He can't put it in the trash and take a chance that Sunada might find it.

He shudders at the idea of what the fallout from that would be.

He washes his hands and splashes cold water on his face, holding back the tears that are threatening. For a moment, he props himself up, hands on the sides of the sink, face still dripping with water, and looks in the mirror. Even to himself he looks terrified. Lost. Dejected.

What is he going to do if he really is pregnant? He can't possibly stay with Sunada. He has to leave, there is no doubt in his mind. He could never, under any circumstances, raise a child in this environment.

He refuses to.

He drops his head and tries not to think about his family, but the memories come anyway, and the tears follow. He misses them so much. He wishes he could talk to his mom about this, to ask for advice. He wishes he could feel his father's steady presence, his unwavering confidence that things would work out. He wishes he could hug Natsu, and just talk to her. He wishes he had someone to listen to him. And more than anything, he wishes he had a home to go back to.

But he forfeited that privilege when he left.

As he dries his face, he makes a plan, sketchy as it is. He will verify that he is carrying a pup, and if he is, he will get a job. He will need to save money to move out of Sunada's house. Right now, he doesn't have any money of his own. Everything he has is controlled by his capricious boyfriend. He looks in the mirror once more, thinks about the incident from last night, and decides, fuck it. He's going to get a job and move out even if he's not pregnant. He won't take this abuse any longer.

But he has to be careful, to not let on what he's planning to do, because then things would surely get worse.

He takes a deep breath, grabs his backpack and unlocks the bathroom door, pausing to make sure the house is still silent. Hearing no signs that his boyfriend has come back home, he walks to the front door, grabs his house key, and heads out.

He walks a few blocks and slips into an alley where he tosses the bag with the pregnancy test into a dumpster. Somehow that action alone lifts some of his anxiety. He continues walking until he reaches the free clinic and pauses to look around, making sure no one is there to see him enter. He takes a deep breath, calls on his inner strength, such as it is, and walks through the door.

About ninety minutes later, he exits through the same doors, feeling panicky and confused and scared. It's true. He is pregnant. Somehow, his birth control failed him, even though he took it religiously. The nurse looked at him with sympathy and explained that even the best birth control methods were not one hundred percent effective. He nodded numbly and thanked her, at least he thought he did, but he isn't sure because he is still lightheaded and that swooshing sound in his ears is back.

He stands outside the doors of the clinic, paralyzed by indecision. He knows he has to do something, to go somewhere, to get a job and start implementing his plan, but his feet appear to be cemented to the sidewalk, and he feels vaguely nauseated in a way that he's sure doesn't have to do with any pregnancy hormones.

Thoughts swirl in his head as he stares at the ground. Suddenly, a woman bumps him with her large purse, and as she apologizes, he shakes out of his stupor. He begins walking, with no destination in mind, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that there is a life growing inside of him, a life he hadn't wanted, hadn't planned for.

But as he walks further, the idea of becoming a parent takes shape in his mind. He is still scared shitless, but he feels a newfound purpose. To protect this pup by any means necessary. With that decided, he turns his thoughts to where to go and what job he would like.

He is lost in thought as he puts one foot in front of the other, considering restaurants, retail stores, and other jobs that are prevalent and always hiring. He pauses when he smells the sweet aroma of cookies and cakes.

Hinata looks up and is surprised to find himself in front of the bakery, the one he wandered into a few months ago.

The one with the gorgeous alpha who smelled like heaven.

He pauses to examine the outside. A simple sign reads "Kazuyo's Bakery," and the exterior is painted a bright white with black trim. It is nondescript except for the delicious smells that waft out from the doors and windows and whatever other cracks allow those delectable scents to escape into the world.

A tiny voice in his head wonders if he intended to come here all along. If somehow his unconsciousness guided his feet back to this location where he remembers feeling happy and welcome and somehow at home.

Back to the alpha with the gorgeous blue eyes and the muscled biceps and the pouty lips.

Hinata stares at the door for a few seconds more. He wants to be a pastry chef, has wanted to be one since he saw that show on the cooking channel with the chef who seemed to create masterpieces with only sugar and flour. He has no skills to speak of, only what he has managed to figure out in a normal home kitchen, by watching and reading and copying whatever he could find.

Hinata feels the bile of betrayal rise in his throat. He came to the city with Sunada with the promise of enrolling in culinary school. A promise Sunada never fulfilled. He said it was never the right time, or they didn't have the money, or any other excuse that sounded half plausible. But after a while, Hinata had realized that it wasn't going to happen, that Sunada would never allow him to have something that would give him the means to escape and be independent.

Swallowing past the sudden lump in his throat, Hinata straightens his shoulders and lifts his chin. He would ask for a job here. He could do lots of things to help in the bakery, even if he wasn't yet a certified baker or pastry chef. He was good with customers, and he would do whatever mundane jobs he was assigned just so he could be here and learn. It would be a step toward having his own bakery some day, a step toward the dream he was not ready to give up on. He would just have to be persuasive and persistent when he talked to the owner.

He opens the door and registers the soft ringing of a bell as he is again assaulted with the sweetest smells, just like he had been the first time he was here. Today he detects notes of sweet breads, chocolate and caramel, cheesecake and strawberries. The scents mingle together to create an enticing atmosphere that surely tempts anyone who enters to spend their hard-earned money.

Hinata approaches the counter just as the same black-haired alpha from last time exits from a doorway and stands behind the counter. Hinata may be imagining that the alpha is looking at him with some emotion because those deep blue eyes are fixed on him and the man's lips are doing that pouty thing again. From here, he can smell the alpha's alluring, bold coffee scent.

God, he is gorgeous and smells like heaven, Hinata thinks before forcing himself to focus on the task at hand. He puts on his brightest, most charming smile and looks up to meet the alpha's gaze. He considers flirting a little but is too intimidated, so he hopes his normal, cheery personality will save him in this case.

"Hi! I was hoping to speak to the manager or the owner."

"You are."

Hinata frowns for a fraction of a second. This young alpha can't be more than twenty or so. Is he the manager?

"Oh, you're the manager? Wow, you're so young!" Hinata hopes the alpha will take this as a compliment.

"I'm the owner and the manager. And the only staff," the alpha answers, his face unreadable.

Hinata responds, surprised, "You own this place?? By yourself?"

The alpha's face morphs into a grumpy frown. "Yeah, so what?"

Hinata realizes he needs to fix this mistake immediately and get on the alpha's good side. "I'm just really impressed! Like I said, you seem young. You must be really talented to have your own shop at your age. Some kind of baking genius!"

"I inherited it from my grandfather when he died," the alpha admits, his voice quiet.

"Oh," Hinata answers, his face falling. He is immediately filled with regret. "I'm really sorry to hear that."

"It's fine," the alpha answers, even though it's clearly not as far as Hinata can tell, but he allows the statement to go unchallenged and gets back to business.

"So, um, my name is Hinata Shoyo, and you are…?"

"Kageyama Tobio."

"Yes, well, Kageyama-san, I want to apply for a job."

Kageyama's eyebrows draw together in confusion, and Hinata finds the frowny pout to be adorable. The fond feeling doesn't last long, however.

"I'm not hiring."

Hinata tries not to let his disappointment show. Time to be persuasive.

"Are you sure, Kageyama-san? I could do a lot of things to help you. I am good with customers, and I could work the counter so you would not have to come out of the kitchen as often so you could focus more on your baking. And I'm willing to do whatever tasks you ask. I can clean, sweep, wipe down the counters, wash dishes, whatever you need!"

Kageyama's head tilts slightly to the right, reminding Hinata of a puppy. A very cute, adorable puppy that Hinata would like to cuddle immediately.

Kageyama seems to think it over for a moment but then shakes his head slightly. "I'm sorry, but I don't make a lot of money, and I can't pay someone to do those things when I can do them myself."

"But…" Hinata begins, feeling his heart squeeze. He needs to say something, to be persuasive like he planned, but he hadn't expected to be turned down because the bakery didn't have money to pay him.

"I just really need a job," he finishes, half to himself as his head drops to nearly his chest. He wills himself not to cry, not to give up. There must be dozens of bakeries in Tokyo that he can apply to. He will just have to go to them and hope at least one is hiring. But for some reason, the idea of working here seems to be the best, the most pleasant. It might be the gorgeous alpha, yes, but more so, the atmosphere here just makes him feel comfortable in a way he can't explain.

Resigned, he lifts his eyes to Kageyama. His words die before he can get them out because Kageyama is looking at him strangely.

"Why do you need a job so badly?" the alpha asks. His curiosity is evident.

Hinata falters, trying to decide how much to divulge. "I need to get out of the place I'm living in. Really soon." He makes eye contact with Kageyama for a moment but has to look away. The intensity is too much right now as if Kageyama can read into his thoughts, or maybe sense his desperation.

Kageyama examines him for several seconds, then asks, "Why do you want to work here?"

Hinata perks up. "I told you before, but you probably don't remember. I want to be a baker myself someday," he began.

"I remember," Kageyama interjects.

Hinata is surprised and pleased that Kageyama remembers their brief interaction several months ago.

"So I thought, if I worked in a bakery, I could learn, you know, how to, um, bake things."

Kageyama scoffs at Hinata's statement. "People go to school for that, you know."

"I know," Hinata says, trying not to let his bitterness and disappointment of that lost dream bubble into his tone. "But I can't do that right now. So I thought I could learn while working. Like an apprenticeship. And this place just feels so… homey. Right somehow."

Kageyama's eyes narrow slightly as he studies Hinata's face. Hinata returns the look with as much confidence as he can muster, but he wonders if he went too far with that last statement. Kageyama might think he's some weirdo stalker or something.

"I can't pay much," Kageyama states, but it doesn't sound like he's refusing Hinata this time. It sounds like the beginning of a negotiation, and Hinata jumps into it with both feet.

"Like how much can you afford?" Hinata asks, willing to take pretty much anything.

Kageyama grabs a notepad from under the counter and appears to do some quick calculations in his head. He scribbles a figure on the paper and slides it to Hinata.

"I can pay you this much per week."

Hinata squints at the chicken scratch. "I can't read that, Kageyama! Your handwriting is horrible!"

Kageyama shoots him a menacing look that Hinata does not take seriously at all, then grabs the paper back and writes a figure slowly and carefully. He pushes the pad back to Hinata, who is able to distinguish the number this time. He does some quick calculations in his head. If he can hide all of his money from Sunada, he could move out in a few months.

It's not ideal, but his gut is telling him to take this job, even if he might be able to work elsewhere for more money. There's just something about this place, about this surly, gorgeous alpha that resonates with his soul. He can't explain it, but it feels right to be here.

"That's fine, Kageyama-san. I accept."

Hinata watches as Kageyama lets out a small huff of breath, and he suppresses a smile. He thinks he will get along fine with the prickly alpha, who may not be as grumpy as he wants everyone to believe.

"Okay, then. You can start tomorrow. Be here at six."

"Okay, Kageyama-san! Thank you!"

"Don't call me that. Kageyama is fine."

"Okay, Kageyama. Um, do you think I can ask one more favor?"

Kageyama stands up a little straighter and folds his muscled arms across his chest as if steeling himself for bad news. "What?" he asks, his voice showing his lack of patience.

Hinata has to force his greedy eyes not to stare at those muscled biceps and forearms, but it's difficult. "Can you, um, pay me in cash or maybe with a handwritten check that I can cash myself? I just can't… er, use a bank account."

Kageyama's eyes narrow as he examines Hinata's face and body language. "Why not?" he asks, as if Hinata were some sort of criminal on the run from the law.

"It's not what it sounds like, I promise. I'm not a criminal or in any trouble. Well, I mean, with the law. I just need to have some money that no one knows about."

"So you can leave the place you're in right now?" Kageyama correctly concludes.

"Yes," Hinata agrees, hoping Kageyama will leave it at that. Kageyama's eyes stay glued to Hinata's for several heartbeats, and Hinata expects more uncomfortable questions.

But after a moment, Kageyama nods and answers, "Okay. But if I find out you are doing anything shady, you're out immediately."

"I'm not, Kageyama. I swear. And I understand. I won't let you down."

Kageyama grunts and repeats his earlier instructions. "Fine. Be here by six tomorrow morning. It's a Saturday, so we'll be plenty busy. Don't be late."

"No, sir. I won't. I promise. Thank you, Kageyama. Really, this means a lot to me."

"Okay, whatever. Don't get all emotional. I'll see you tomorrow."

Hinata thanks him again and heads to the door, a spring in his step that hadn't been there before. Suddenly his situation does not seem so dire. If he can figure out what to tell Sunada about this job, something that will convince his boyfriend to let him come here each day, it will all be fine. He just has to be convincing and obedient and submissive, and maybe Sunada will allow it.

Hinata just prays that whatever he says won't trigger one of Sunada's rages.

 

///

 

Chapter 3: Secrets

Summary:

The duo begins working with each other and some secrets are revealed.

Notes:

Y'all I'm so sorry for the long delay in this chapter. I have been having some health problems and they got to a point where I needed surgery, so I had that done a few days ago. I am just now getting back to feeling better!

Anyway, I hope you like this next chapter. Reminder this is a slow burn so it will be a while before things heat up!

 

Kageyama is fairly certain he is losing his mind.

There is no other explanation for why he offered the beautiful, alluring omega a job. Kageyama works best alone. Based on past experiences, he knows this is true and he promised himself long ago to keep it that way.

So he kind of shocked himself by extending the job offer to red-haired omega, who had somehow clouded Kageyama's judgment with his big, sad eyes and his adorable freckles and his enticing scent. Fucking omegas.

Kageyama absolutely refuses to consider the possibility that this particular omega is anything special. Hinata's omega pheromones just affected Kageyama's alpha, that's all. It's just biology, some chemical shit that Kageyama doesn't have to understand the inner workings of to be aware that the effects exist, whether he likes it or not. So the omega looked vulnerable and his protective alpha instincts kicked in.

And okay, yeah, the omega looked attractive and that also appealed to his alpha. Fine. Fucking biology or whatever.

However, there are a couple of very good reasons why It doesn't matter if he thinks Hinata is cute or appealing or even breedable. First and foremost, Kageyama is going to be Hinata's boss, and his grandfather taught Kageyama that someone in a position of authority over another person should never make romantic overtures because of something called sexual harassment. Kageyama understood that the person could think they could lose their job if they say no, so he will have to keep his thoughts about Hinata's perfect lips and fluffy hair and toned muscles to himself.

Which is fine, because no one ever finds Kageyama to be a suitable romantic partner anyway. He is aware that he is traditionally attractive, and several omegas, a few betas, and even another alpha have shown romantic interest in him before. But he also knows that he is surly, frowns a lot, doesn't talk much, and fails to respond appropriately to social cues. Everyone who has shown him any sort of attention usually gets over it pretty fucking quickly once they realize what his personality is like.

So yeah, he can admire Hinata all he wants, but Hinata will never look at him as anything other than his boss or coworker. In fact, once Hinata gets to know Kageyama, he might just get fed up and piss off to find another job.

Kageyama adamantly ignores the brief pang of disappointment at that thought.

He heads down from his apartment to the bakery at around 5:00 AM, flicking on lights as he walks through the kitchen. He has two hours before the shop opens to the public, and he has several types of pastries to make during that time. Luckily, he has the routine down from years of practice. He turns on the Bluetooth speaker and calls up one of his work playlists on his phone. It is one that particularly reminds him of Kazuyo.

With the comfort of the music and the familiar surroundings, Kageyama starts to bake.

He gets so lost in the zone that he forgets that Hinata is starting work today until he hears the banging on the front door. Startled at first, then annoyed at the noise the idiot is making, he quickly washes his hands and wipes them on the towel hanging from his belt as he walks to the front door.

As he opens the door, his senses are assaulted with the sweet, alluring scent of cinnamon rolls. Fucking hell, Hinata smells like a dream. He chastises himself for having such thoughts about his employee, reminds himself of the definition of sexual harassment, and goes on the offensive to override the soft thoughts he was just having.

"Jesus, dumbass. Are you trying to wake up the whole neighborhood?" Hinata's smile wobbles and Kageyama immediately regrets his harsh words.

"You didn't answer at first, Kageyama, so I knocked louder."

Kageyama definitely doesn't feel bad for making Hinata's smile falter, nope, not at all. Hinata is his employee, nothing else. He grumbles an apology and mentions that Hinata can come to the back door in the future. Despite Kageyama's severe words, Hinata's smile is back, and he is bouncing slightly as they walk back to the kitchen.

"Gwah! I can't believe I actually get to work in a bakery! I'm so excited!"

Kageyama is a little surprised that anyone could be excited about this work. He has never met anyone else like himself and Kazuyo. Even his older sister, Miwa, who was exposed to the bakery growing up just like Kageyama had been, found it boring.

Kageyama starts by showing Hinata around the workspaces. He shows him around the kitchen, points out the cleaning supplies and the bathroom, teaches him how to run the cash register, and runs down the prices of the various items. Hinata bounces along, listening intently and saying everything is "Cool" or "Awesome," and Kageyama doesn't know whether it's cute or annoying.

Definitely annoying, he lies.

He allows Hinata to watch him make a batch of Japanese cream puffs, explaining his steps as he goes. He allows Hinata to put them in the oven and set the timer as he moves on to the next product, his special Japanese cheesecake. He puts that into the oven, explaining to Hinata what to do to make sure it doesn't crack while baking and will not deflate too much when removed from the oven. Hinata listens with rapt attention, his eyes wide with interest and something akin to joy. Kageyama has to admit that having someone as absorbed as he is in the details of baking is a nice change, but he absolutely will not admit that Hinata's wide eyes and exuberant expression are fucking mesmerizing.

 Nope, nothing to see here.

The first few days that Hinata works at the bakery go well. Hinata is wonderful with the customers, friendly and cheerful. He talks some of them into trying new treats, and Kageyama grudgingly concedes that sales have been up the last few days, even with Hinata sampling the products because he insists he has to know how good they taste to properly sell them.

Hinata is a fast learner in the kitchen as well. He has a natural knack for decoration and presentation, though Kageyama tells him he has to get good at the basics first, especially the dough. He works with Hinata in his spare moments, instructing him about various dough types, recipes and tips and tricks, which Hinata listens to with rapt attention, his brown eyes clear and focused on Kageyama's every word. Like Kageyama is some god, some gifted being.

Kageyama tells himself it is absolutely not cute when Hinata's eyes do that trembly, sparkly thing when he finds something Kageyama does to be impressive.

Kageyama is a liar.

On Hinata's fourth day working for Kageyama, he silently sneaks in through the back door of the bakery without Kageyama noticing at first. When Kageyama turns around, he is shocked.

"Oi, dumbass, why are you sneaking up on me like that?"

Hinata's expression is dull, and he looks pale. "Sorry, Kageyama. I didn't mean to. Just not feeling so great today."

Kageyama inspects the omega more closely. "What's wrong?" he asks, sounding annoyed.

Hinata pales even more at Kageyama's harsh tone. "I'm sorry. I just feel like…"

Hinata pauses to find his words, and Kageyama is horrified to see him turn green. Hinata spins on his heel and rushes for the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Kageyama is glued to the spot, trying to figure out what is happening, when he hears the unmistakable sounds of Hinata vomiting.

Fucking hell, Kageyama thinks. That idiot! He's probably hung over.

Kageyama fumes as he waits for Hinata to emerge from the bathroom. A few minutes later, Hinata opens the door and walks toward Kageyama on unsteady feet. He starts to say, "I'm sor…"

"Did you go out and get drunk last night or something? Are you hung over?" Kageyama knows his words are too accusing, too confrontational, but he does not need a worker who is sick from hangovers. He runs a tight ship, keeps his bakery running smoothly and always keeps himself in the best health. He won't tolerate someone abusing their body with alcohol or drugs or anything like that.

"No!" Hinata insists, "It's nothing like that, I promise. I just… I don't know, okay? I woke up this morning feeling sick. Maybe it was something I ate."

Kageyama studies the omega for a moment, deciding that Hinata is not lying to him. He scoffs again, but asks Hinata in a kinder tone, "Do you need to go home and rest?"

"No!" Hinata blurts out, too quickly, reminding Kageyama that Hinata had mentioned he needed to get out of his current living situation. Part of Kageyama wants to ask, to probe for more information, to learn what is going on in Hinata's mind, but he reminds himself it's none of his business. He is Hinata's boss, nothing more.

"Okay, well, take it easy. Let me know if you need to take a break. And make sure you stay hydrated."

"Okay, I will," Hinata agrees easily.

As the morning progresses, Hinata vomits one more time but manages to perform his duties at the bakery well enough. By afternoon, he is maybe not exactly as cheery as he had been the first few days, but he is mostly back to himself. Kageyama is relieved that this strange morning is behind them, and he can focus on the large cake he needs to prepare for a wedding this weekend.

But then it happens the next day, and the day after as well.

On the third morning when Hinata exits the bathroom after vomiting, Kageyama is waiting there with his arms crossed across his chest. Hinata catches a glimpse of him and his countenance immediately looks afraid, so Kageyama forces himself to lower his arms and modulate his voice.

"Hinata, are you okay? Really? This clearly isn't food poisoning." Kageyama has a feeling about what's going on, a guess really, but he hopes he's wrong.

Hinata tries to push past him, but Kageyama steps into his path. Kageyama's eyes bore into Hinata's, searching for the truth, but he is momentarily sidetracked by the wetness around Hinata's eyes and the look of despair the omega tries to hide.

"You can talk to me, you know. I… want to help." Kageyama's words sound stilted and strange even to himself, but he prays Hinata doesn't notice his awkwardness.

To Kageyama's horror, tears start leaking from Hinata's eyes and, dropping his chin to his chest, Hinata starts to sob. Kageyama is frozen with fear and indecision.

Acting on pure alpha instincts, he draws Hinata into his arms, enveloping him in a hug. He releases soothing alpha pheromones and whispers soft words against Hinata's hair. "It will be alright. It's going to be okay. Try not to worry, you'll get through this."

After a moment, Hinata pulls back and wipes his tears away with the back of his hand. His eyes are bloodshot, and his cheeks are streaked with tear tracks. He looks embarrassed, though Kageyama isn't sure why.

"I'm sorry," Hinata begins, clearly intending to blow off the whole encounter. "I don't know what came over me. I've just not been feeling well and I'm just so emotional…"

"You're pregnant," Kageyama states, knowing he's correct.

Hinata's eyes snap to Kageyama's, and he looks abjectly terrified. "How… what… how did you know?"

"Just a guess, but you're sick in the mornings and not the afternoons. And your scent is super sweet. Maybe it is always like that, but I didn't recall it the first time we met, so…"

"I'm sorry," Hinata apologizes, his face falling into a frown. "Do you want me to go?"

Kageyama tilts his head slightly, trying to understand Hinata's words. "Go where?"

"Leave. Stop working here, you know."

"Why would I want that?" Kageyama asks, genuinely confused.

Hinata also cocks his head as if trying to puzzle out Kageyama's words. "I don't know. Maybe I'm too much trouble, getting sick and stuff. Maybe later I won't be able to work the long days and you'll have to let me go."

"Do you want to stop working here?" The idea makes Kageyama's heart somersault in his chest.

"No!" Hinata insists. "I just don't want to be a burden." Hinata adds the last statement while averting his eyes. Kageyama realizes he's ashamed.

"You said you needed a job, right? To get out of the situation you're in?"

Hinata nods but still doesn't meet Kageyama's piercing gaze.

"And I take it it's bad?" Kageyama knows he is getting too personal, asking too many questions that are none of his concern, but his alpha is feeling particularly protective of the omega right this moment.

Hinata nods again.

"Well then, you stay as long as you need to. Till you can get out or away. Whatever."

Hinata tilts his head up and his eyes are shiny again, still wet with unshed tears, but he also looks hopeful, Kageyama realizes, and Kageyama feels satisfied that he was the one who caused Hinata to look that way.

"You're sure?" Hinata asks, maybe not quite believing his good fortune.

"Yeah, whatever, dumbass. Just don't get too lazy," Kageyama adds as a way to pivot away from the intimacy of the conversation.

Hinata's bright smile is back, and Kageyama has to look away or he will be sunk. He's so fucking screwed.

"Thanks, Kageyama-kun. I'll work hard, you'll see."

"Okay, well, let's get started on those tarts."

 

 

+++

 

 

Since Kageyama learned Hinata's secret a few days ago, the omega seems to be more open and forthright with him. Kageyama secretly revels in the stories Hinata tells him about his baking mishaps and is eager for any tidbits that give him a glimpse into Hinata's home life. Hinata occasionally refers to his parents or sister, but if Kageyama asks him about them, Hinata clams up, stating they aren't close anymore. Kageyama understands Hinata's reticence because he doesn't like talking about his grandfather either. Some things just cut too deep.

As they are finishing up the decorations on the lovely, multi-tiered wedding cake, Hinata glances over to see Hinata's face scrunched up in concentration as he applies flowers made of frosting. His tongue is sticking out of the side of his mouth, and he looks adorable.

Kageyama wants to kiss that mouth, to taste the omega's lips. He wants to run his tongue along Hinata's scent glands, to get first-hand knowledge of that sweet, intoxicating scent.

But he knows he can't, so he forces himself to look away.

Hinata breaks the silence, "Hey, Kageyama? Have you always worked alone? I mean, since your grandfather passed?"

Kageyama glances over, but Hinata doesn't move his eyes from the cake he is working on. Kageyama wonders how much to reveal, but he figures he knows some things about Hinata, so it's only fair that he divulges a little about himself.

"No, not always. After Kazuyo passed, I hired a guy my age named Kindaichi. He was a good worker, but we didn't exactly get along."

Hinata is still concentrating on the intricate flowers and doesn't look up, but asks anyway, "What do you mean? How so?"

Kageyama purses his lips, looking for the right words. He knows he was to blame for that fiasco, that it was his mannerisms, his attitude that drove Kindaichi away, yet he hates to make himself look bad in front of Hinata.

For some reason, he wants Hinata to like him, to like working here.

He's objectively ridiculous.

"Uh, so, he didn't like me. He said my standards were too high, that they were impossible to live up to. He said no one would ever want to work with me and he quit. I've never tried to hire anyone again."

Hinata tilts his head up, and his honey-brown eyes look at Kageyama with compassion. Kageyama swallows hard, telling himself not to read too much into it. Hinata is a kind person, so of course he would feel bad at hearing that story.

"He sounds like a dick," the omega says frankly.

"Oh, not really. Just honest."

"Nah, he really does sound like a dick," Hinata reiterates before refilling his piping bag.

Kageyama feels a strange warmth in his belly but forces himself to ignore it. "Anyway, It doesn't matter, because I like to be by myself." Liar. "To work by myself." Liar.

Hinata's eyes snap to Kageyama's. "What? You don't like working with me?" Hinata's tone is teasing, and Kageyama fights a smile.

This omega, Jesus, he likes being with him.

He intentionally paints a frown on his face. "I didn't say that, dumbass. I just like working alone, doing everything myself. At least I know it's done right."

Hinata's head tilts to the side, and it reminds Kageyama of a puppy. A very cute, adorable puppy.

"Aw, come on. Don't you get lonely? Admit it, you like having me here!"

Kageyama refuses to meet Hinata's eyes because he's sure he can't hide his true feelings. Having Hinata here is amazing. He had been alone so long, worked by himself for so long, that he forgot what it was like to have a partner, someone to talk to. It was nice.

Maybe too nice.

Maybe he needed to stop this line of thinking right fucking now. Because he can't ever kiss that stupid smirk off Hinata's face. He feels a pang of true grumpiness that matches his frown.

"Whatever. It's not horrible, I guess."

"What?" Hinata squawks indignantly. "Kageyama-kun, you wound me!"

Kageyama glances over to catch a quick look at Hinata's face. His lips are stretched into a smile, his eyes are shining, and he looks mischievous and beautiful and so incredibly enticing.

It's almost more than Kageyama can handle.

"Whatever. Finish this up while I get it ready to deliver."

"Yes, sir!" Hinata pipes up, and Kageyama dares not turn to see if that little shit did that on purpose just to see him squirm.

He's only been working with Hinata for just under two weeks, but he already knows that is totally something Hinata would do.

He physically shakes his head as if he can knock the wayward thoughts from his brain.

He's so fucked.

///

 

Chapter 4: Decision

Summary:

Hinata tries to hide his pregnancy from his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend

Hinata arrives back at his apartment after work Sunday evening wanting nothing more than to sleep. He is exhausted after spending nearly two weeks of eleven-hour days on his feet, and he is guessing his pregnancy is only exacerbating his fatigue. He struggles to keep his eyes open and stifles a yawn as he toes off his shoes in the genkan.

Checking the time, he trudges to the kitchen to prepare a proper meal before Sunada comes home. He is slow in his movements but prepares some okakodon and leaves it to simmer on the stove. He puts the rice into the rice cooker, then settles down on the sofa, propping his feet up onto the coffee table and laying his head on the back to get a few minutes of rest before his soon-to-be ex gets home from work.

The past couple of weeks have been a huge strain on him, both mentally and physically. He's been avoiding Sunada, trying to stay as far away physically as possible so that the alpha can't detect the change in his scent. And also because the thought of being near that asshole makes Hinata feel even more nauseated than he does from the morning sickness.

Since Hinata decided to leave his boyfriend, he's been fighting to hide the disgust that he now holds for the alpha. It's been difficult because Sunada is a jerk on his best days. When Hinata came home from work those first few days, he went to his bedroom right after dinner, thankful that Sunada had insisted on separate bedrooms when they moved into this luxury apartment. At the time, Hinata had been upset, his pride stung that his alpha didn't want him next to him each night. But he realized it had turned out for the best since his boyfriend often came home drunk and wreaking of alcohol, snoring like a fucking chainsaw all night.

The first two nights Hinata worked at the bakery, Sunada had accepted his claims of being exhausted and had left him to himself. The third night had been Saturday, Sunada's weekly night out at the gentlemen's club he belonged to, though Hinata didn't think that any of the alphas who frequented it were anything close to gentlemanly. The club was a popular hangout for alphas to play poker, watch omega strippers, and ingest large amounts of alcohol and drugs.

His fourth night of work, last Sunday, Hinata had retreated to his bedroom, feeling vaguely nauseated after eating dinner. He feared it was morning sickness starting to rear its ugly head, and he just wanted to hide under his covers and sleep for the next two days he had off from work.

But he knew he could not be that lucky. Later that evening, Sunada had knocked on Hinata's bedroom door.

"What is it?" Hinata had responded to the knock.

Sunada opened the door, his silhouette backlit from the light in the hallway. "I want to fuck you."

Hinata had balked, of course, realizing this day was going to come. "I'm sorry, Zenji. I really don't feel well. I think… I think I'm getting a migraine," Hinata added, in what he perceived at the time to be a stroke of genius. It was not uncommon for Hinata to have migraines that lasted at least several days. This excuse might buy him more than one night.

Sunada approached the bed and crossed his arms. His scent of sandalwood wafted to Hinata's nose and he felt like gagging. Since he decided to leave, the scent had become revolting to him. Hinata could not see Sunada's face clearly, but his stance was intimidating in and of itself. Sunada was just under six feet tall, with big beefy arms and meaty thighs. He could easily overpower Hinata if he wanted to.

"Did you get your first paycheck today?" Sunada had asked.

Hinata flinched. He had lied to his boyfriend about his job, claiming it was an unpaid apprenticeship. He needed to be able to save up all his money, and he knew if he brought home any kind of paycheck, Sunada would take it from him 'for his own good' because Hinata was 'young and foolish.' He trembled now, praying that his boyfriend hadn't somehow found out about his lie.

"I told you," he said neutrally, "it's an unpaid apprenticeship."

"I know you told me that, but I find it hard to believe that even you are dumb enough to work for free."

Hinata kept his voice steady. "Why? People pay to go to school to learn to be pastry chefs. I know you know that because you told me school was too expensive when I first moved to the city with you."

"Shoyo, you know that things got rough unexpectedly. I'm going to pay for your schooling when I'm on better terms financially."

Hinata bit his tongue, thankful that the darkness hid the annoyance that he was sure was plastered across his face.

"Anyway," Sunada had continued, "What does that have to do with why he's not paying you?"

Since he had come to his senses, slowly over the last eighteen months, Hinata had realized that Sunada really was not very smart, which was ironic considering how the man constantly accused Hinata of being dumb.

Hinata fought to keep the sarcasm from his voice. "Because it's a win-win situation for both of us. I don't have to pay to go to school because I can learn on the job. He doesn't have to pay me because I want to learn."

Sunada stood silently for a moment while Hinata held his breath, wishing he could see Sunada's face clearly to judge his mood. He was likely to go off at the least provocation, so Hinata had learned to read his tells.

"Fine. Tell me when your migraine is gone. It's been too long since I popped a knot."

"Of course," Hinata said placatingly, while internally vowing, Never again, asshole.

The next day was when the morning sickness began in earnest. Hinata felt like he was going to die. The nausea was so bad he was dry heaving long past the point where his stomach had emptied. He'd never been so sick in all his life. He was beyond relieved when the feeling had faded a bit in the afternoon. He had managed to make dinner for Sunada and avoided any yelling, but had retreated back to his bedroom, claiming his migraine was still raging. The next day, his second day off from work, was much the same.

Wednesday had been the third day of morning sickness. He dragged himself from bed at five AM to go to work. He felt like a zombie. Every step had been an effort like his feet were encased in concrete. It had been horrible. He had tried to hide it from Kageyama without luck. He had been enormously grateful that his boss had been cool about it.

He had managed to avoid Sunada for three more nights with his migraine excuse. Last night had been Saturday, which Sunada always spent at the gentleman's club. So Hinata survived another entire week without Sunada getting close enough to detect his change in scent and come to the correct conclusion. Which brought him to tonight.

As Hinata's head rests on the back of the sofa, he tries to think of an excuse that will keep Sunada away longer. He knows he can't lie forever, but he hopes he can make it long enough to save up sufficient funds.

At just before seven o'clock, Hinata hears Sunada's key in the door, and he inhales a deep breath to steady himself. He can do this. He has to, he has to make it through and play a part and keep him and his pup safe until they can escape. He keeps his eyes closed as he hears his boyfriend in the genkan, then as the footsteps get closer. He can detect Sunada's scent, sense him towering over him, so he peels open his heavy eyelids.

"How are you feeling today?" Sunada asks.

The old Hinata might have thought he asked out of concern, but Hinata now knows everything Sunada does is for his own benefit.

"Still tired."

"Migraine still?"

"Um… not really, but my head is still a little sore and I feel a bit nauseated and…"

Sunada turns toward the kitchen, ignoring the rest of Hinata's excuses. Hinata gulps, recognizing that this might be where he runs out of luck.

"What's for dinner?"

"Okakodon."

"Is it ready?"

There's a warning in his tone that the old Hinata, the naïve one, might have missed. "Yes, it's ready. Wash up and I'll have it on the table in a few minutes."

Sunada goes to the bathroom to wash his hands as Hinata scoops the food into bowls and sets them on the table with a glass of water for himself and a beer for his soon-to-be ex. The man comes back, sits down and begins eating without an 'Itadakimasu.' This, for some reason, irks Hinata more than anything right now.

As Hinata eats in silence, Sunada drivels on about his work at a sporting gear company for hikers and outdoors people. Hinata pretends to listen, still trying to think of excuses that might keep the man across from him away from him for another night.

When dinner is over, Sunada stands without giving thanks to Hinata, grabs another beer and turns on the television, leaving Hinata to clean and store the dishes. Hinata tries not to take offense at this sexist behavior because honestly, it's the least of his worries right now. Right now he needs a plan, and none is forming in his muddled brain.

After he finishes the dishes, he quietly approaches the man on the sofa. "I'm heading to bed."

Sunada looks up, his eyes sharp. A sneer is about to grace his face, Hinata is sure. Hinata braces for Sunada's response.

"I'll be there later," Sunada says in a tone that Hinata knows better to argue with. He starts to sweat as he reaches his room. He wishes he could lock his door but knows without a doubt that his piece-of-shit, soon-to-be ex would have no qualms about breaking it down just to prove that Hinata could not hide from him. Not in the apartment that he pays for.

Hinata is so exhausted, he climbs into bed at eight PM, but sleep will not come. Ideas bounce around his mind like ping-pong balls, but none are solid enough to take hold. He can't think of any further excuse to keep Sunada away from him tonight.

Hinata hears the television sound abruptly cut off about two hours later. Damn, this is it. He quickly settles under the covers and pretends to sleep. He knows it won't be enough, but he has to try.

He hears the knock at his door but pretends he doesn't. He holds his breath as he waits to see what the other man will do. The door opens quietly, and Sunada comes to stand at the side of his bed. Again, the sandalwood scent is obnoxious at this distance. Hinata stifles a gag and hopes that his heartbeat isn't as loud as the thunder he hears in his own ears.

"Shoyo, wake up."

Hinata pretends to stir but doesn't answer.

"Shoyo, wake up," Sunada commands loudly and rudely.

Hinata doesn't have to pretend to jerk at the noise. "What? What the fuck, Zenji?" he says without thinking to curb his words and his attitude.

"I haven't fucked you in more than two weeks. It's ridiculous, and it stops here."

Hinata swallows hard and tries his best to sound sympathetic, "I'm sorry, but I told you, I haven't been feeling well."

"Too bad. I've waited far too long. You're not fulfilling your duties as my omega."

Your omega, Hinata scoffs, Your convenient body but without any commitment. In their early days, Hinata had begged for the security of a mating bite, but Sunada had never wanted to commit. Now Hinata is beyond grateful for his soon-to-be ex's selfishness.

"I don't want to, Zenji. Please, not tonight."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Hinata's fear spikes. Sunada is on the border of losing it, he knows by the souring of his scent and the dangerous edge to his tone. He has to find a way to placate him. "Nothing, I'm just… I'm not feeling well. Please understand, alpha," he adds the last to appeal to Sunada's swollen ego. "You could go to the gentleman's club if you wanted," he adds, keeping his voice meek.

Sunada seems to contemplate for a second or two, then swears softly under his breath. "I will, but I won't be denied anymore, Shoyo. If you won't fulfil my needs, maybe I'll find someone else."

Hinata knows it's meant as a threat, but Sunada has no idea how badly Hinata would like him to do just that. Find someone else to control and belittle and fuck.

Hinata stays silent, and Sunada stands for another several seconds before turning to leave. As the door clicks shut behind him, Hinata lets out a breath. He listens closely and hears the jingle of Sunada's keys and the thud of the exterior door closing, indicating Sunada has left.

That was a close one. He knows he's going to need to figure something out tomorrow, but for tonight, he's bone tired and barely able to keep his eyes open anymore. He'll worry about his next move after he gets a good night's sleep.

Hinata is woken from a deep sleep by a ruckus coming from the living area of the apartment. There is some bumping and cursing, and Hinata figures Sunada is shitfaced again. Checking the time, almost two AM, he decides to get up to use the ensuite bathroom.

He sleepily relieves his bladder and washes his hands, then flicks off the light as he opens the door. He takes a couple of steps back toward his bed and is startled when he runs into a solid object. He yelps as strong hands close around his upper arms.

Sunada's breath wreaks of alcohol, so sour that Hinata feels a wave of nausea wash that cramps his stomach. "I'm going to fuck you now, Shoyo. I'm not waiting anymore."

Hinata feels dizzy at the realization that his time is up. The idea of submitting to this man is revolting, and then there's the chance Sunada will detect the change in his scent from this distance. And then what?

Everything crumbles.

Hinata tries to wriggle away as the grip on his arms tightens to an almost painful vice. "Zenji, not tonight."

Sunada pulls him close, despite Hinata's escape attempts. From this distance the scent of sandalwood and alcohol makes Hinata's stomach threaten to revolt. Sunada buries his face in Hinata's neck, and Hinata's skin crawls as he holds his breath. "Come on, baby. Haven't you missed being full of my knot?"

Ah, here we go, the attempted sweet seduction that always comes both after and before the anger and aggression.

"Of course," Hinata lies, "But I told you, I just don't…"

Hinata registers the exact second Sunada recognizes his altered scent. The other man's muscles freeze, and he pulls back slowly.

"What the fuck is going on, Shoyo?" He sounds pissed. "Why is your scent different? It's sweeter…"

Sunada's confusion allows Hinata to free himself from Sunada's grasp. "Oh, fucking hell. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking pregnant?"

Hinata switches on the lamp on the bedside table because he wants to be able to see in case he needs to defend himself. He sits on the side of the bed. His palms are sweaty, and he might possibly vomit, but he's got to keep his wits if he's going to get out of this unscathed.

"Answer me!" Sunada demands.

Hinata keeps his eyes downcast but answers, "Yes."

"What the actual fuck? How did this happen? I thought you were using birth control. Jesus, are you fucking trying to baby-trap me, you stupid whore? Is that what this is?" Sunada is wild with anger now, and Hinata's fear is making him feel like a ball of energy, ready for fight or flight. The accusation is comical, however, since the last thing Hinata wants is to stay with Sunada. But he, of course, won't tell him that.

"Of course not, Zenji. I'd never do that. I was on birth control. I took it religiously, but there's always a small chance of pregnancy, even when birth control is used properly. Certainly, you're aware of that."

"Jesus, Shoyo. I don't want a fucking pup around. You're going to get fat and never want to have sex and then the pup will take all your attention. This is ridiculous. Wait, is this pup even mine? Have you been whoring yourself out while I’m at work?"

Hinata is struck numb by the accusation. He's never cheated, has never been a cheater, and has never given Sunada any reason to believe that. Ironically, at this moment he would prefer if literally any other alpha on earth were the father of his pup rather than this asshole, this selfish, cruel, manipulative bastard.

"Zenji, of course it's yours. Jesus."

Sunada is pacing the small space now, and it's unclear to Hinata if he even heard his answer. "So this is why you're avoiding me? Why you're not feeling well? How far along are you?"

"I think about seven weeks. I haven't been to a doctor."

Sunada stops pacing and faces Hinata. "Good, then it's early enough that you can get rid of it."

For a moment, the world tilts on its axis and Hinata feels off-balance, untethered. When the room stops spinning, red-hot rage rises in his gut.

"No. I'm not 'getting rid' of it. I'm keeping this pup."

"I told you, I don't want a fucking pup!"

Hinata stands, his courage rising now that knows it's the end. "I don’t care what you want. I'm keeping the pup. And I'm leaving you."

Hinata feels the barest sense of smug satisfaction as Sunada's eyes go wide and his mouth falls slightly open.

"What the actual fuck, Shoyo? You're not leaving me. Where will you go? You can't go back to your family in Miyagi. How are you going to support yourself with your fucking, stupid unpaid apprenticeship and your lack of skills at literally anything??"

Hinata tilts his chin up and feels fire burning in his heart and his gut. "I don't know, but I'm not staying here with you anymore. I don't want to be with you. I hate the way you treat me, the way you control and insult me, and I will not bring a child into this world to live like this. So you don't have to worry about having a pup around. You have no obligation to this baby, no obligation to me. I'll be gone soon, and you can just forget me. Find some other pathetic young omega to put up with your shit. I don't care."

Hinata pushes past Sunada and opens the closet. He drags out the two suitcases he left Miyagi with eighteen months ago and opens them on the bed. He starts going through his closet and drawers, haphazardly tossing in the worn clothes that he had before he met Sunada and leaving the nice, sometimes designer pieces Sunada had purchased for him. He feels cold and starts shivering as he packs because it is insane to leave in the middle of the night, but he can't help it. He can't stay here one additional minute.

"Fucking hell, Shoyo. You're a piece of work, you know that? After all I've done for you? I brought you here to the city, I gave you a life, a place to live, and this is what I get? You're just making this decision without me?"

Hinata pauses as anger and resentment, both directed toward himself and the other man, bubbles over into his mouth.

"You took me from my family with false promises. You made me turn my back on them and choose you! And when we got here, things were nothing like you said. You didn't hand me my dreams, you asshole. You stole them from me. Along with my family and my innocence. I wish I'd never laid eyes on you!"

"Ungrateful whore omega!" Sunada growls. "Fuck you. Get the fuck out of here. I'm done with you."

Hinata stands frozen for a few seconds with his hands fisted at his sides, as Sunada stalks out of his bedroom and slams the door behind him.

As if it was your fucking idea, you piece of shit, he thinks bitterly.

Hinata dresses himself in sweats and a hoodie, finishes packing his clothes and grabs his toiletries from the bathroom. He comes back to the bedroom to survey what else to take. He has very little in the way of personal effects in his room. A couple of books, which he leaves behind, a few baking magazines, which he takes, and a photo frame with a picture of him with his mom, dad and Natsu at his high school graduation. He stares at the photo for a long time as bitter tears gather and then overflow.

If only he could go home.

But no, Sunada orchestrated it so that his family would no longer welcome him.

He viciously wipes his tears and carefully wraps the photo in a t-shirt before placing it in the suitcase, then he zips it up and sets it on the floor. He throws a few final possessions into the second suitcase, then zips it as well. He knows there's nothing in the living room or kitchen that is his. All those things were bought with Sunada's money, so he's done. This is everything he owns now. This is his life, neatly, or not so neatly, confined to two suitcases.

The tears are still flowing, but he ignores them at this point. He takes one look at his phone, and a familiar pang of loss and longing flows over him. He remembers the day eighteen months ago when he left Miyagi, when Sunada had insisted he leave his phone so that his parents couldn't track him down and make him come back.

His heart squeezes so tight in his chest that he gasps.

Then he tosses his current phone onto the bed, the one Sunada paid for. He feels some slight sense of retribution that by leaving it here, he has turned the tables on Sunada, that Sunada will not be able to locate him either, just like his parents couldn't back then.

How many lifetimes will he leave behind in this manner, he wonders?

He walks by his keys on the table in the genkan where he normally keeps them and heads out of the apartment without any further thought of what he's leaving behind. His only worries now are where to go.

He can get a hotel for the night, but all his money is at work, where he's been hiding it to keep it from Sunada. As he exits onto the sidewalk, he realizes he will have to wake up Kageyama and feels horrible about it but doesn't think he has a choice unless he wants to sleep on the street. If not for the pup, he might consider it. He walks toward the bakery, one suitcase in each hand, as he rehearses what to say. Will Kageyama be upset when he shows up on his doorstep at three AM? Angry enough to fire him?

Hinata bites his bottom lip as he walks. He knows Kageyama will be grumpy, but if Hinata has learned one thing, it's that Kageyama is kind above everything else. He would never do anything so cruel once Hinata explained the situation.

He walks in the cool September night, shivering slightly and wishing he'd thrown on more than a hoodie. The walk is only a matter of blocks, but there are few people out at this time of night, making the lamplit streets seem eerie. Hinata is relieved when he arrives at the back door of the bakery and shakes off the strange, creepy feeling.

He knocks on the door loudly, since he knows Kageyama is upstairs and will have a hard time hearing. He mentally chastises himself for not calling Kageyama before he left the phone back in Sunada's apartment. He waits a moment and when there is no sound or movement, he knocks again, louder this time. He takes a step back to see if he can see any light or movement from the apartment upstairs, but all is still and quiet.

Panicking a bit now, Hinata knocks, or more accurately, pounds on the door. He yells Kageyama's name, hopefully loudly enough for Kageyama to hear, but not his neighbors. Finally, he sees the soft glow of a light in the upstairs apartment, then another, and he lets out a breath. He prays again that Kageyama won't be too angry with him and will understand his predicament.

Hinata is not prepared for the sight of the Kageyama who flicks on the kitchen's lights from the switch near the stairs, and his heart flip-flops in his chest. Kageyama is wearing navy blue sweatpants.

And nothing else.

His chest sports a smattering of dark hair between his pecs, and another dark line travels south and disappears under the waistband of the sweatpants that are hanging low on his hips. There is a visible bulge in the front that Hinata's eyes are drawn to. For a split second, he wishes his life weren't in shambles, because hell if he wouldn't like to see every naked inch of this fucking gorgeous alpha.

The band of Kageyama's boxers shows on one side, suggesting he donned the pants in a rush. His hair is sticking up at odd angles, and his face looks murderous, but also sleepy and somehow soft.

It's adorable. And hot. And fucking confusing, okay?

When Kageyama gets to the door, he swings it open with a, "What the fuck, Hinata? It's three in the morning!"

"Kageyama, I'm so sorry, really. But…"

Hinata notices when Kageyama's eyes land on his suitcases. "Are you alright?" he interrupts Hinata to ask, now sounding concerned.

"Yes, but…"

"You've been crying," Kageyama states. "Are you hurt?"

The question causes a faint flutter in Hinata's chest. Kageyama noticed his red, swollen eyes. Kageyama is worried about him.

 "No, I'm fine. But I left him. And I need to get my money so I can get a hotel."

"What?" Kageyama asks, confused, and Hinata realizes belatedly that he never actually told Kageyama that the home situation he said he needed to get away from involved a man. He'd explain later, he figures, because he just can't handle that right now.

"I sort of hid the money you've paid me in the utility closet. I didn't want to bring it home because I was afraid he'd find it and take it and ask questions I didn't want to answer."

Kageyama's eyebrows draw together slightly, and he scowls. "Who are you talking about? Your, what, boyfriend?"

"Yes, well ex-boyfriend. I just left him. I just need my money, and then I'll leave you alone."

"Hinata, I'm not going to let you leave here and go to a hotel in the middle of the night. Bring your bags in. You can stay here tonight. I've got two empty bedrooms."

"Kageyama, thank you, but it's not necessary. I'm really sorry to bother you. I just need my money and I'll go to a hotel. I don't mean to intrude further than I already am."

Kageyama crosses his arms over his broad chest and Hinata is momentarily distracted by all those arm muscles. Kageyama is speaking for a few seconds before Hinata's brain focuses back on his words.

"… stupid for you to spend that much money on a hotel for one night. It will take a decent chunk of what I've paid you."

Hinata looks up then, and Kageyama looks determined and unmovable.

And strong, and sexy as fuck.

Wait, what?

Shaking his head as much to clear his horny thoughts as to indicate disagreement, Hinata responds, "It's not necessary, Kageyama, though I appreciate the offer."

"Hinata, you're being a dumbass."

"I beg your pardon?" Hinata squawks.

"You heard me," Kageyama says as he moves behind Hinata, his scent of coffee washing over Hinata and making him feel somehow relaxed and horny at the same time. Kageyama hoists both suitcases, then pushes past Hinata again on his way toward the stairs.

When Kageyama reaches the stairwell to the upstairs living quarters, he pauses, looking a bit unsure. "Do you really not want to stay here? I mean, I think it's best, but if you really don't want to…"

Hinata debates for a moment. He doesn't want to inconvenience Kageyama, that is undoubtedly true, but he also doesn't want to spend a large portion of what little he's saved on a hotel for one night. Kageyama is offering a room, and Hinata knows he'll be safe here until he figures something out. And Kageyama really doesn't seem to mind, in fact, he seems rather insistent. Maybe he is being a dumbass.

"Okay, if you're sure you don't mind, I would appreciate the offer. But just for tonight. Until I figure out what to do."

A strange emotion flits across Kageyama's face, but it's quickly gone. "Of course. Get some sleep tonight and figure it out tomorrow."

"Thank you, Kageyama," Hinata says sincerely as he closes and locks the back door. Kageyama is already halfway up the stairs when Hinata turns off the lights to the kitchen. He ascends the narrow stairs covered with worn brown carpet that is fraying at the edges. When he reaches the top, he finds Kageyama facing him in a living room.

He looks around a bit to see a fluffy but worn beige sofa and matching side chairs. There is a television mounted on the wall directly across from him and two open doorways on either side. To his left, there are two large bookcases half-filled with books that stand like sentries around a large set of windows. The once-white curtains look a bit yellowed, even in this low lighting. While everything looks dated and a bit bland with the white walls, everything appears clean and uncluttered.

When his eyes circle back around to Kageyama, the alpha jerks his head and walks toward the doorway to the left of the television. Hinata follows him past a closed door on his left, and then Kageyama gently kicks open the second door. They are in the kitchen now, which is painted a soft, buttery yellow with white trim, white doors, white tile and white appliances. Again, Hinata notes the décor is dated, but the kitchen is spotless and free of messes or clutter.

He follows Kageyama into a small bedroom that is painted a sapphire blue that reminds Hinata of Kageyama's eyes. There's a double bed against the wall to his right, and a dresser next to the door. On his left is a door, presumably to a closet, and on the fourth wall are two windows also adorned with white curtains, but these are thicker and clearly newer.

Kageyama drops the suitcases next to the bed and turns. Hinata is suddenly overwhelmed with the events of the night, and he chokes up. He's exhausted, faintly nauseated and, it hits him, homeless. He breaks into tears again, not even trying to hold in his sobs.

"Hey," he hears Kageyama say softly, "It's okay." Before he can register the words, he's being held in an embrace. The scent of coffee surrounds him, and all he can register is how nice this feels, to be held, to be comforted. After a few moments, he starts to feel less distressed and realizes Kageyama is letting out soothing alpha pheromones. Somehow the thoughtful gesture almost breaks him again.

If only Kageyama had been his alpha instead of Sunada.

After a minute or two, Hinata's weeping subsides.

Kageyama leans back to examine his face. "You okay now?"

Hinata nods and unceremoniously wipes the tears and snot with the back of his hand. "It's just a lot. Too much, really."

Kageyama backs away gently. "I bet. Get some rest. We'll figure things out tomorrow. Bathroom is across the hall if you need it."

"Okay, thanks, Kageyama."

Kageyama takes a few steps toward the door but pauses before leaving. He turns back to say one last thing. "It's going to be okay. You're safe here."

Hinata is again struck by Kageyama's kindness. The reassurance is what he needed after the upheaval he's had. On his walk here, he had wondered if he'd made the right choice, but now, in the blues and whites of Kageyama's spare bedroom, the alpha's words still fresh in his head, he knows he's done the right thing.

He'll figure out what else to do tomorrow. For now, his body and his mind are desperately in need of rest.

He peels off his sweatpants and hoodie and practically collapses onto the bed, not bothering to get under the covers. He pulls a small white afghan from the bottom of the bed and covers himself, and within minutes of his head hitting the pillow, he relaxes into sleep.

 

 

///

 

Chapter 5: Kindness

Summary:

Hinata needs a place to live

Since it is his day off from work, Kageyama allows himself the luxury of sleeping in. He wakes without an alarm at just after seven o'clock, and lies in bed for a while, considering the events of the night before.

Seeing Hinata at his door had been a surprise, but realizing the omega was in distress, dragging suitcases with him, had given Kageyama a scare. He had wondered about Hinata's home situation when the omega asked for a job. Now it seems it had been worse than Hinata let on. Kageyama cannot even imagine how terrified Hinata must be, alone, broke and pregnant. The idea makes his gut twist into an uncomfortable knot.

He finally rises from his bed and shuffles to the kitchen to make breakfast. There is no sign of movement from the room Hinata is sleeping in. Kageyama imagines Hinata must be exhausted, mentally and physically.

After breakfast, Kageyama showers and throws in a load of laundry. He feels antsy, unsettled as he waits for Hinata to wake. He usually runs errands on Monday morning but doesn't want to leave the apartment, so he turns on the television to watch his favorite baking show.

Finally, at just after eleven o'clock, Kageyama hears signs of movement. The door to the bedroom opens and he hears footsteps, then another door closes, probably the bathroom. He rises to meet Hinata in the kitchen.

When the redhead emerges from the bathroom, he looks rumpled and pale. Kageyama's heart squeezes again. His protective alpha instincts want to take care of this omega, make things better for him. To give him whatever he needs to be safe and happy and healthy.

He realizes he needs to get a grip on his alpha instincts because Hinata is not his omega.

"Hey," he says softly as Hinata's eyes land on him.

"Hey," Hinata answers without his usual energy.

"How do you feel? Are you hungry?"

Hinata considers for a second. "My stomach is a little queasy, but yeah, I think I could eat something bland."

"How about some toast? Maybe a banana? Tea?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Have a seat," Kageyama suggests, pointing toward the small kitchen table surrounded by three chairs.

Kageyama prepares the simple breakfast for Hinata. Placing the plate in front of his guest, Kageyama takes the seat across from Hinata and watches him eat, slowly and carefully, as if gauging his stomach's reaction to each bite.

"Anything else I can get you?" Kageyama asks as Hinata finishes the toast.

"No, I’m good. Thanks, Kageyama."

Kageyama examines Hinata's face, pale with dark circles, a dullness in his eyes that Kageyama is not used to seeing. Again, he wants to fix it, take away that haunted look.

He's so fucked.

"Whenever you're ready to talk, I'm here," he offers, not knowing what else to do to help.

Hinata looks up, a tiny spark in his eyes that somehow makes Kageyama feel proud to have put it there. "Thanks. Can I take a shower first?"

"Of course."

As Hinata showers and dresses, Kageyama cleans the dishes and then waits on the sofa, somehow nervous for the conversation. He has an idea to help with Hinata's situation. It is probably or definitely a bad one, something that is going to put him on the road to heartache, but he's planning on speeding down that highway anyway.

Yep, definitely fucked.

When Hinata emerges from the bedroom, his hair wet and a shade darker than Kageyama is used to seeing, he looks more awake, more alive. He sits in the chair beside the sofa and curls his legs up under him. He looks like he wants to speak but seems unsure.

"So," he begins, "I guess I owe you an explanation for showing up in the middle of the night."

"You don't owe me anything. But I'm happy to listen and help you figure out what you are going to do next."

Hinata nods and looks down, picking at some nonexistent fuzz on his sweatpants. "I'm not sure where to start."

"Take your time."

 Hinata takes a deep breath. "I guess you figured out I left my boyfriend," he begins, waiting for Kageyama to nod before continuing.

"His name is Sunada. The relationship was…" he pauses here, his eyes cast downward as if ashamed, "It was just not good. In so many ways. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew I had to leave, but I didn't have any money. Like at all. He controlled all of that. That's why I came to you for a job."

Kageyama's hackles rise at the notion that this asshole controlled Hinata to the extent that he had no money of his own, but he tamps down the irritation and nods encouragingly.

"So I was trying to hide my pregnancy from him. I had to keep him at a distance because I knew the change in my scent would be obvious. So for the last couple of weeks, I complained about being tired and having a migraine. Looking back, it was probably stupid of me to think I could hide it long enough to save up money to leave."

"Don't say that. You weren't stupid. You were hopeful."

One side of Hinata's mouth turns up and his eyes flash some emotion that Kageyama cannot identify. "Yeah, okay. So last night, he came home from this club he goes to, and I thought he would leave me alone, but he came to my room. He got close enough to detect my scent. And he figured it out."

Hinata pauses to take a breath, but he looks shaken again. Kageyama wants to hold him.

"He first accused me of doing it on purpose to trap him," Hinata said, his face clearly showing his disgust.

"But you didn't do it on purpose, right?" Kageyama asked.

"No, of course not. It was an accident. I was on birth control. It must have failed."

Kageyama's heart stutters at Hinata's bad luck. "I'm sorry. That really sucks."

Hinata scoffs. "Yep."

As Hinata tells the rest of the story about what happened the night before, Kageyama's hackles rise on Hinata's behalf. He wants to punch this guy. No, he wants to beat the fuck out of this asshole. He's selfish and manipulative. He's a horrible excuse for an alpha.

Hinata finishes, "Then he asks how far along I am and when I tell him, he… he…" Hinata pauses to swallow. "He said I should get rid of it."

Clearly this idea is upsetting to Hinata, as he looks like he might cry. Kageyama doesn't know what to say, so he waits while Hinata gathers his thoughts.

"I couldn't bear the thought. I mean, I know people do that and I don't judge them, but for me, I just couldn't even imagine it. I mean, this pup is mine, it's part of me. I just lost it. I snapped."

He looks to Kageyama for some sort of support, and Kageyama is quick to reassure him. "I don't blame you, Hinata. I think that's a natural reaction to what he said."

Hinata seems relieved. "Thank you. At that point, I just needed to leave, to get away. I couldn't stay. I know it was stupid to leave in the middle of the night but…"

Kageyama interrupts. "Don't say it was stupid. Your instincts told you to get away, and instincts are rarely wrong."

Hinata looks hopeful. "You really think so?"

"Yeah."

Another small smile. "So I came here to get the money I'd hidden, and now, well, I'm apparently homeless."

"Do you think he'll come find you here or at the bakery?" Kageyama asks. He doesn't want Sunada to find Hinata and upset him, but part of him wishes the piece of shit would come so Kageyama can punch him.

"I'm not sure. I left my phone there so he can't track me." Hinata frowns as he realizes, "I guess I need a new phone." He looks up and continues, "I never told him the name of your place, but I guess there's only so many bakeries within walking distance of his apartment. It's possible, I guess."

Kageyama swears he can see Hinata shiver even from this distance and swears he will keep the omega safe from this asshole at any cost.

"Is he dangerous? I mean, did he hurt you physically?" Kageyama asks, holding his breath.

"Nah. Manipulation is more his style," Hinata responds bleakly.

Kageyama feels a tightness in his chest abate, if only slightly. At least Hinata and his pup are not in physical danger.

"Any ideas what you're going to do now?" Kageyama asks.

"None yet. A hotel will take my money as fast as I can earn it. I don't have enough for a security deposit on an apartment."

"Any friends in the city you can stay with?"

Hinata looks a little ill for a moment and shakes his head. "He didn't let… I never made any friends since moving here."

Kageyama's anger ratchets up another notch. He wants to beat the shit out of Sunada. Alphas are supposed to protect and care for omegas, not control them.

"What about your family? Where are they?"

Hinata's face droops and he looks down at his lap again. "They're in Miyagi."

"You said you weren't close, but can you ask them for help? Even go back home?"

Hinata shakes his head violently. "No. I can't go back." His response is so adamant, so forceful that Kageyama immediately backs off. There's a story there, one that is clearly painful for Hinata, but Kageyama won't push. He decides this is the time to suggest his idea.

"How do you feel about staying here?"

Hinata's head snaps up. "With you?"

"Yes, with me, dumbass. You can see I have the room. And this way I'll be sure you're not late for work."

Hinata manages a small chuckle. "I've never been late for work, idiot." There's a short pause before he continues, "I don't know. I don't want to impose on you. You've already given me a job."

"It's fine. You need a place to stay, I have room. It's a no-brainer."

Hinata studies him for a moment, searching his face, and Kageyama feels unsettled at the inspection.

"You are really kind, Kageyama."

Kageyama shrugs. "I guess I take after my grandfather."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Kageyama answers, thinking back about Kazuyo. "He would help anyone, neighbors, friends, strangers on the street, stray or hurt animals. It was second nature to him. He told me the reason we are here on Earth is to take care of others, to try to make their lives better. He lived by that."

When Kageyama looks up, Hinata has a warm smile on his face, and it makes Kageyama's heart stutter. He wants to see that look over and over, not the pained expression that Hinata had on his face just moments ago.

"He sounds amazing."

"He was. I miss him a lot."

"How along ago did he pass?"

"About a year or so ago."

"So you've lived here a year?"

"No, I've lived here since I was a kid."

"With your grandfather? What about your parents."

The mention of his parents makes Kageyama's chest tighten uncomfortably. "They died in a car accident when I was five. My grandfather raised me and my sister."

The look of compassion on Hinata's face is almost enough to break Kageyama. "Oh, Kageyama, I'm so sorry! That must have been so horrible!"

"It was a long time ago. I don't even really remember them that well."

Hinata studies him for a moment. "Where is your sister?"

"She lives across town. She's a hairstylist. We talk regularly."

Hinata's bottom lip protrudes slightly. "I guess we're both mostly on our own, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess."

There's another brief silence while they both take in that reality. Then Hinata asks, "So, if I were to stay here, how much rent would I pay?"

"Oh, um, I don't have a mortgage, so there is no rent. I only pay utilities and food."

Hinata looks thoughtful. "How much would my share of that be?"

Kageyama does some quick calculations of what he usually pays per month, adding on additional costs for more food, and then cuts it in half. He tells Hinata a number.

Hinata's eyes go wide. "That's just over what I make in a week. I could save most of my money. In maybe six months I would have enough to have a security deposit, first month's rent, and money left over to buy what the baby will need."

Kageyama nods encouragingly.

"Are you sure, Kageyama?" Hinata says, looking hopeful and doubtful at the same time. Kageyama could not ever say no to that face. He wants to see Hinata happy and secure, not stressed and sad.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Oh, my God. That's amazing. Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. I just need to get on my feet and then I'll be out of your hair. Like I said, six months at the most."

The idea that Hinata will leave after six months causes Kageyama to feel a strange sense of loss, which is ridiculous since Hinata hasn't even lived here yet.

"So what else should I know?" Hinata asks, his excitement clear.

"Oh, um, well, as you can see, I like things neat and tidy, so I would like for you to keep it that way as much as possible. Keep your stuff in your room and help pick up."

"Of course!"

"I usually go to the bank, do the grocery shopping and do meal prep on Mondays, so if you can help with that, that would be great."

"Absolutely!"

"And I usually like to get the cleaning done on Tuesday mornings so that I can enjoy the rest of my day off before I go back to work on Wednesday morning."

"I'll help with that too! Anything you ask!"

"Maybe we could take turns making dinner?"

"Yes, that's great."

"Um, that's all I can think of. Anything else you want to know?"

"No. That's great, Kageyama. I really do appreciate your help. I'll be the best possible tenant, I promise."

"Okay, then, it's settled."

With that decided, the pair leaves the apartment to run the errands. Hinata chats the entire time, commenting on people and animals they see on the street, asking about baking and peppering Kageyama with random questions. Kageyama can hardly keep up with the conversation, it bounces around so much, but he decides he likes it. Hinata doesn't seem to care that he doesn't talk that much, and it feels nice to have someone by his side instead of always being alone.

At the grocery store, Hinata is like a little child bouncing around on his heels and commenting on the different choices. They wander up and down the aisles, selecting foods for upcoming dinners and snacks.

At once point, Hinata sees his favorite cookies and exclaims, "Oh, I love these!" He picks up the box and shows them to Kageyama. "Do you like them?"

"Not really."

"Oh," Hinata says as his face falls. He puts the box back on the shelf. It takes a moment for Kageyama to register what is happening.

"You can get them, Hinata," he says.

Hinata looks up, and that defeated look is there again. "But you don't like them."

"So? You do."

Hinata looks so unsure, so timid that Kageyama's gut twists again. "Are you sure? I don't want to spend money on something just for me."

What the fuck did that asshole Sunada do to him? Kageyama thinks as his anger boils hotter. He grabs the cookies and throws them in the cart. Pinning Hinata with a serious look, he says, "You can have anything you want, even if I don't like it. Anything. Understand?"

Hinata's cheeks flush pink and he avoids Kageyama's eyes, but he nods and they continue.

It takes a while for Kageyama's heart rate to return to normal and for him to set aside all the things he wants to say to this piece of shit Hinata left, but they eventually finish the shopping. At home, they prepare meals for the week. Hinata is back to his normal self, chatting away about food and chopping vegetables and cooking in general. Despite the noise and occasional dumb comments, which he always feels the need to point out, Kageyama enjoys this slice of domestic life.

After dinner, they sit side by side on the sofa to watch baking shows and discuss the chef's choices and methods. Kageyama occasionally explains something to Hinata that he doesn't know, and Hinata oohs and aahs over Kageyama's knowledge. After a while, Hinata's comments slow to a trickle, and Kageyama is surprised to feel Hinata's head on his shoulder.

He looks down and Hinata is asleep, his face slack, his lips slightly parted. From this distance, he can see the smattering of freckles on Hinata's nose. Hinata's cinnamon and sugar scent is so sweet, so intoxicating that Kageyama breathes in deeply, taking as much in as he can without Hinata knowing. It's sort of perverted he knows, but he can't help himself. He takes a moment to just enjoy this closeness, this touch. It's been so long since he had anyone to share his life and his passion with. In some ways, Hinata fills the void Kazuyo left when he died. Kageyama realizes how badly he's missed the connection with another person.

He knows he should wake Hinata and let him go to bed, but he selfishly lets the moment drag on as he listens to Hinata's soft, even breaths. He had been so lonely for the last year and, he realizes, so lost in grief.

He thinks back to Kazuyo's words to him, that one time when he was eleven. He can't help it. The idea has been lodged in his brain since he met Hinata, and he wonders for the hundredth time if Hinata is the one before mentally applying the breaks.

He makes a soft choking sound that causes Hinata to stir. He needs to get a hold of himself. Hinata is his employee and now his tenant, so he's just doubled the reasons he could never suggest more than friendship. If he were to ask Hinata on a date, tell him he was interested in him as more than a friend, Hinata would feel like both his job and his home could be threatened if he said no, and Kageyama would never put Hinata in that position after the trauma he's been through.

No, he can't do that to Hinata. So he'll take these moments, appreciate the small touches, enjoy the moments and remember that at least he isn't so lonely anymore. At least there's something to live for.

Even if it's only for six months.

 

///

Chapter 6: Adjustments

Summary:

Hinata gets comfortable in his new life

Notes:

y'all, I'm a terrible person. I gave Kageyama a cat and forgot all about her for 4 chapters. But don't worry, she's back in this chapter.

A week after leaving Sunada, Hinata finally feels like he can breathe. Like the vice around his chest, the squeezing in his lungs, has finally loosened. He notices the lack of tension in his muscles, the absence of the constant worry that he had carried for months.

He feels free.

He is proud to say he has a bank account in his own name and a phone he paid for himself. It's his first real foray into adulthood and independence. He's twenty-one years old, but he feels more like a newly minted adult, just turned eighteen and clueless about the world. But it's okay because he's going to figure it out. He has to, for himself and for his pup.

With Kageyama's help.

Hinata is pleased to say that being around Kageyama is natural and easy. Despite the alpha's grumpy nature, he is not fussy or demanding. He's not selfish or controlling. With Kageyama, he doesn't have to pretend, doesn't have to hide his feelings or opinions, doesn't have to live up to some impossible and secret expectations.

He hadn't realized how exhausting that was until he no longer had to do it.

He is happy with the routine he's fallen into with his boss and roommate. They've taken to running in the park after work, though their races have frustratingly ended with Hinata falling behind. He knows it's the pregnancy that makes him tired and takes away his usual stamina, but it still wounds his pride to lose to Kageyama. It is almost worth it, though, when Kageyama comes back to check on him when he stops to catch his breath, when Kageyama asks if he and the pup are okay, asks if he needs anything. It's so sweet and considerate that it makes Hinata's heart hurt a little.

He's content to watch baking shows with Kageyama, critiquing the chefs' choices and bickering over which of them would do it better. He's satisfied with the division of chores in the apartment, even if Kageyama won't let him clean the bathrooms. Although he uses eco-friendly products, Kageyama still insists that Hinata should not inhale the fumes, so Hinata is restricted to washing dishes and sweeping the floors. Another one of the small gestures that Hinata can't help but notice and appreciate.

He's satisfied with his relationship with Kageyama's calico cat, Mikeneko, who appears to like him just as well as she likes Kageyama. Hinata is happy to help with feeding her and playing with her, even if he is jealous when Kageyama's large, strong hands glide over Mikeneko's fur lovingly, making her purr. Sometimes he thinks about those hands on him, raking over his skin, making him hum with contentment. But then he stops himself because he should not be thinking pervy thoughts about his boss and roommate.

Two weeks after leaving Sunada, Hinata is nine weeks pregnant and still experiencing morning sickness. He doesn't vomit quite as often, but the nausea is still sometimes overwhelming. On particularly rough mornings, Kageyama sends him upstairs to rest if the bakery isn't too busy. Another day, another act of kindness.

He is now getting pretty good with several of Kageyama's recipes and is allowed to make some of the products each day. He loves interacting with customers and enticing them to try Kageyama's treats. He enjoys visiting with some regulars, asking about their spouses or kids or work. His job at the bakery is all he could ask for. He gets to do what he loves, talk to people, and look at Kageyama's pretty face all day. What's not to love?

He is getting used to Kageyama's grumpiness, which he's realized is really just a cover for other emotions. For example, he can now tell when Kageyama is confused, frustrated or thinking just by observing the tilt of his frown and the degree of scrunching of his eyebrows. It should not be as cute as it is, a big, strong alpha looking so adorable, but there you have it.

He is doing better at making decisions, being independent and stating what he wants. It still feels awkward at times, but Kageyama never tries to control him or change his mind. He's respectful and at times, indulgent, and it's scary how exhilarating and terrifying that feels to Hinata after being suffocated by coersion for so long.

Hinata is especially pleased with the way Kageyama has allowed some casual physical contact between them. Sometimes when Kageyama moves past him in the bakery or their apartment, he places his hand on the small of Hinata's back, sending sparks of electricity up his spine. When they're watching TV, Kageyama lets him rest his head on his shoulder without comment, and the proximity allows Hinata to inhale Kageyama's coffee scent, which he adores. It isn't much, but to Hinata it means everything.

He feels safe with this alpha.

One afternoon about three weeks after Hinata left Sunada, Hinata is in the bakery's kitchen with Kageyama making some dough to chill for the next morning. They are listening to classical music, as always. All of the pieces sound the same to Hinata. They all have violins and flutes and pianos, and they all sound nice, but he can't really tell the difference between concertos and sonatas or the different composers. But Kageyama can.

Hinata is trying not to be distracted by the sight of Kageyama's hands kneading dough, pressing and folding and pressing some more, his hands moving automatically and effortlessly in some competent and inadvertently sexy repetitive motion. Hinata has some brief flashes of those strong hands massaging the muscles of his back.

Or his ass.

It takes effort to draw his mind from those dirty thoughts, but he manages to do it and happens to sneak a peek at Kageyama's face just as the song changes. The new music causes a small uptick of Kageyama's mouth.

"What are you smiling about, 'Yama?" Hinata asks, intrigued.

Kageyama looks over as his eyebrows shoot up. "What?"

"You're smiling," Hinata tells him, as if Kageyama wasn't aware.

"Was I?" Kageyama asks, then shrugs. "I guess this piece reminds me of one time with my grandfather. It was playing then."

"Tell me about it."

"You don't really want to hear it, do you?"

"I do."

Kageyama looks off into the distance, his hands stilling for a moment as he remembers. Then he resumes his kneading, staring at the dough as he speaks.

"I was young, maybe six or seven. I was trying to mix some cookie dough, but it was really thick and sticky, and my hands weren't strong enough to make the spoon move the dough. I got really mad, and I just kept trying over and over until I was crying from frustration and my hand was aching. My grandfather came over and put his hand over mine. He said, 'Tobio, you can't do everything yourself, even if you want to. Sometimes you need help. Sometimes, you need to let someone help ease your burden. Remember that.' Then he dried my tears and helped me finish mixing. When we finished them together, those cookies tasted really good, like the best ever. At the time, I thought somehow he added some magic to them, you know how kids think. But I just think it was the satisfaction I felt. And maybe the love. I don't know. It's stupid really."

Despite his dismissive words, Tobio looks fond, as if the memory soothes him.

"It's not stupid at all. He sounds really great," Hinata says softly.

"Yeah, he really was."

"So are you doing better? Letting people help you?"

Kageyama looks pained for a heartbeat and shrugs again, not meeting Hinata's probing gaze.

"You're letting me help you," Hinata observes.

"I guess," Kageyama concedes.

"Come on, Kageyama-kun, admit it. You like having me around."

"Whatever, dumbass. Are you finished yet? You're taking forever."

Hinata squawks with indignation, but he's pleased because there's a hint of a smile gracing Kageyama's beautiful face.

He feels like he's just climbed Mount Everest.

Kageyama being in a good mood gives Hinata the courage to bring up something that's been on his mind. "Hey, Kageyama? I was thinking of something about the business. Do you want to hear it?"

Kageyama looks suspicious but says, "Um, okay."

"So, I'm getting really good at some of your recipes, especially the matcha cookies and the muffins. What if I took those over in the morning so you could try something different?"

"Different? Like what?"

"Whatever you want to try. I was thinking, you could have daily specials, something you don't serve every day. We could put one of those chalkboards out on the sidewalk and advertise what's available that day, so people would have reason to come in more often, you know? Like if you make things that are different and only serve them once a week, they might come in multiple times. Or the new items might tempt new customers to come in, then try our regular products too."

Kageyama has his thinking frown on. It's definitely not cute, Hinata tells himself.

"Maybe," Kageyama answers after a moment. "Do you think that would help business?"

"I think so, but it really can't hurt to try right?"

"I have been wanting to try some new recipes, but I haven't had the time," Kageyama adds, clearly warming up to the idea.

"Well, just think about it. It's just a suggestion, and it's your decision."

Kageyama grunts, but he doesn't sound angry. That's just his agreeing grunt, so Hinata presses on. "I had another idea too, about the bakery. But I don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Kageyama is eyeing him suspiciously, but he's not angry, just wary. "It's fine. What is it?"

"So, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but the shop is looking a little well, bland."

Kageyama looks hurt, and Hinata immediately tries to explain.

"The gray and white paint is fine, really, but don't you think some bright colors would make the shop, I don't know, more cheery and fun?"

Kageyama has his thinking frown on again. "I never thought about it. It's always been this color," he comments, almost to himself.

"I don't want to hurt your feelings, 'Yama, really. I'm sure part of you wants to keep it like your grandfather had it."

"What colors would you paint it?" Kageyama asks.

"It's of course, up to you, but any colors I think would help. I was thinking peach and light blue to make it playful and sweet. And, if you wanted, I could paint a mural."

"You can paint?"

"Well, not that well, but I was thinking – and again, these are just ideas – but what if we took that big plain wall and painted 'Kazuyo's' in colorful letters? And I could paint like some cupcakes and cakes on the walls too, to add some visual interest."

"It sounds like a lot of work," Kageyama comments.

"Not really. It should only take a couple of days."

"Maybe. Let me think about it."

"Okay, take your time."

Hinata is ecstatic when Kageyama agrees to both his ideas a few days later. On their next days off, Hinata is confined to the kitchen with a mask over his nose and mouth while Kageyama paints the walls the peach and light blue colors Hinata picked out. Hinata is not allowed in the room being painted because he's eleven weeks pregnant and Kageyama read that inhaling fumes from latex paint is bad for him and the pup. Hinata is a bit miffed at being left out of the action but is secretly pleased that Kageyama is so sweet and protective of him and his pup.

Hinata periodically yells from a distance to make sure Kageyama uses the correct colors in the right places, and Kageyama gripes at him. They bicker back and forth, but Hinata doesn't move from the kitchen, and Kageyama dutifully paints the colors as Hinata has instructed.

Later that afternoon, Hinata works with a small palette of acrylic paints (which are safe for mother and baby, he checked) to paint 'Kazuyo's' on the large, blank wall. He adds some cute cupcakes, cookies and cakes in pinks and purples and yellows. The artwork is not extremely sophisticated, but Hinata thinks it makes the inside look cute and welcoming.

When he's done, he asks Kageyama, "How does it look?"

Kageyama's frown suggests he's covering up being overly pleased. "It looks okay, I guess," he concedes, making Hinata scoff with incredulity.

"You're lying, 'Yama. It looks good, admit it!"

"Maybe. It's not worse, I guess."

"Kageyama, you're so annoying. Just admit it looks good."

Kageyama turns and leaves, throwing a, "Nah, don't think so," over his shoulder.

Hinata calls after him, "You suck!" but he's feeling smug because he knows Kageyama likes it.

Hinata's smile doesn't fade as he cleans up the paints. He loves making Kageyama happy, getting him to sport even a hint of a smile, doing things to help his business. Kageyama doesn't just feel like his boss and roommate; he feels like a friend, and Hinata wants to repay his kindness and everything he's done for him.

That evening, they collapse onto the sofa, by mutual agreement foregoing their run. Hinata feels completely worn out, and he realizes he probably overdid it today. He curses at his condition again, but only because it drains his energy and makes him want to sleep just about all the time.

Kageyama looks a bit wilted himself, his eyelids droopy as he sits sprawled on the sofa. "I'm too tired to cook," he comments. "Let's have something delivered."

"Mmm," Hinata hums his agreement, not even bothering to open his eyes as his head rests on the arm of the sofa.

"What do you want?" Kageyama asks.

For a moment, Hinata is paralyzed as he tries to discern the right thing to say. It takes him a full minute to recognize that Kageyama has no preconceived notions for him to live up to, no ulterior motives in asking, no nasty comments ready if he says the wrong thing. He just wants to know what Hinata thinks.

The incident is another reminder to Hinata of just how conditioned he was by Sunada. It's the cookie incident all over again. He became so used to deferring to Sunada, so used to setting aside his own wants and needs that it became second nature. He wants to cry when he realizes just how brainwashed he was, how far he had strayed from being his own person.

He knows he still needs to work on this but also recognizes that it's not going to go away overnight. He promises himself to do better, for himself and his pup.

Still keeping his eyes closed, he clears his throat and considers what he really wants to eat. The answer comes to him almost immediately.

"Pizza."

"Yeah, sounds good," he hears Kageyama agree. A couple of minutes later, he hears Kageyama's phone thud as it's dropped onto the table. "It'll be here in thirty minutes."

"Okay," Hinata answers, intending to nap while they wait.

Drifting in and out of consciousness, Hinata hears when Kageyama gets up and goes to the door to get the pizza. He's hungry, but he doesn't want to open his eyes just yet. He's just so tired he feels like he could sleep for a week.

"Dumbass, sit up and eat," he hears Kageyama grumble.

He lets out a strangled sound that might be a whine. He tightly shuts his eyes until the aroma of the pizza makes his stomach grumble. He sits up, rubbing his eyes. Kageyama has foregone plates and has just opened the box on the coffee table and grabbed a slice to shove into his mouth. Hinata follows suit and soon the only noise is their chewing.

The food gives both of them a small burst of energy, and they turn on one of their favorite baking shows. Hinata watches with interest for a while, but as Kageyama criticizes the chef's choice of frosting color for his cake's flowers, Hinata's eyes start to drift closed again. He rests his head on Kageyama's shoulder, taking in the coffee scent that he finds so soothing, and listening to the sound of Kageyama's rough voice.

He shifts to get comfortable and hums a couple of responses to Kageyama's questions, but with his full belly, Kageyama's pleasant scent and the coziness of the plush sofa combined with Kageyama's shoulder as a pillow, it's not long before he's dozing off.

The next thing he knows, he's being prodded awake.

"Hey, dumbass. Come on. Time for bed."

"No," Hinata whines, knowing he sounds like a child. "Wanna stay here."

"You can't sleep here, idiot. It's not good for your back. You need to sleep in a bed, get a good night's rest for your body and the pup."

"Don't want to," Hinata retorts, his mouth forming into a pout even as he squeezes his eyes shut.

"Hinata, don't be an idiot. You're an adult. Get up and go to bed."

"I don't wanna be an adult right now. I just want to sleep here. Why are you being mean?"

"Mean? Jesus. You really are a child."

"I'm tired. Just leave me here, 'Yama. I'll see you in the morning."

Hinata feels Kageyama's weight lift from the sofa beside him, and he lets himself slump over until he's lying on his side. He's satisfied with himself, thinking Kageyama is going to just leave him to sleep like he asked when he feels arms slide under him.

Hinata's eyes fly open as he's lifted from the sofa like he weighs nothing. "Kageyama, what are you doing?"

"Taking you to bed," the alpha answers, and Hinata hates what those words do to him, how he wishes Kageyama meant them in a decidedly not innocent way.

"Ugh, you're so mean," he reiterates, even as he snuggles himself closer to Kageyama's chest, enjoying the feel of the strong arms around him. He inhales Kageyama's scent and wishes this moment could last forever.

"Whatever," Kageyama answers as they reach Hinata's room. He practically tosses Hinata onto his bed and commands, "Go to sleep. And don't oversleep in the morning."

"I never oversleep," Hinata mumbles as he burrows into his pillow. He hears the door close and can't help but relive the last minute before falling off to sleep. He sighs out loud, entertaining the idea of being carried to bed under more sexy circumstances, of Kageyama kissing him and doing, well, other things, things definitely involving those large, strong hands.

He knows it's ridiculous, of course. Kageyama has never shown any interest in him romantically. Plus, Hinata knows he's going through a recovery phase where anyone who shows him the slightest kindness will seem like a supremely attractive potential mate because he's used to being treated so badly. He's sure he's just rebounding from Sunada's influence and glomming onto Kageyama because he's the one who's there in front of him.

When he has more distance from the awful situation he came from, Hinata knows these feelings will go away. They're just a passing crush, a fanciful dream that's a rite of passage from where he came from to where he's going.

When he gets more distance from the Sunada situation, when he feels more confident in his own decisions and independence, he knows he won't feel this way about Kageyama anymore. Kageyama will still be a friend, will still be someone Hinata cares about, but he won't be fantasizing about Kageyama being his alpha.

A couple of months, maybe, and this pesky, inconvenient crush will go away.

 

///

Notes:

I'm excited to announce that I'm getting ready to publish Mine To Protect with OCs on Amazon Kindle in the next couple of months. If you want to follow my "real" writing career, go to my website https://adsanoauthor.wixsite.com/adsano or follow my author accounts on social media:

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Chapter 7: Confrontations

Summary:

Visitors come to the bakery. Kageyama confronts his feelings for Hinata.

Kageyama is acutely aware that he is fucked.

He is well acquainted with the realization that Hinata has him wrapped around his little finger. He is intimately familiar with the idea that he would do anything for the omega. He is painfully conscious that he can't say no to Hinata's big, amber eyes and pouty lips.

The concept started as a little fluttering in the back of his brain, but now, seven weeks after hiring the redhead, five weeks after inviting him to live with him, and a week after painting the bakery and trying out some new specials, he has accepted the notion as truth.

He is in the bakery's kitchen, working on a new recipe for matcha chocolate cake and contemplating his fucked-ness when the back door to the bakery opens. Kageyama is confused because Hinata is out front waiting on customers, so who is coming in the back door?

"Good morning, Tobio!" Miwa calls as she enters, and Kageyama relaxes. She comes to hug him, but his hands are covered in flour, so he leans into the hug without returning it.

"What are you doing here, o-nee-chan? Don't you have to work today?"

"I do later, but I wanted to see the new paint."

"Oh, okay," Kageyama says. He had mentioned to Miwa how he and Hinata had given the bakery a makeover. He washes his hands and then leads her into the public area of the bakery.

Hinata has just finished serving a customer, so Kageyama introduces them. "Hinata, this is my sister, Miwa."

Hinata's smile is wide and bright. "Nice to meet you, Kageyama-san!" he says as he bows low. "Wow. I can't believe how much you two look alike!"

"Yes," Miwa agrees, "The Kageyama genes are strong." Then looking around the room, her eyes open wide and she starts to meander toward the walls. "This looks amazing!"

Kageyama follows Miwa, leaving Hinata to help the next customer. She is studying the big wall with the mural and smiling that small, fond smile she often gets.

As Kageyama comes to stand next to her, she says, "Tobio, it really looks great in here. It's welcoming and bright. I love it."

"I'm glad. I was a little worried about changing how ojiisan had it."

Miwa turns to him, "He would love this, Tobio. I'm sure of it." Her sincerity causes a warm feeling to take hold in his gut, and Kageyama nods as a response because speaking seems too difficult past the lump that has suddenly materialized in his throat.

"How's it going with the new daily specials? Is it helping business?"

"It's too early to tell, but I think it might. We'll have to wait a bit and see."

"Ah, well, I hope it helps." Miwa throws a glance over at Hinata before turning back. "How's everything going with Hinata?"

Kageyama's eyes automatically find the redhead, watching him for a second too long as he gushes about Kageyama's cheesecake to the current customer. "Good. He's a talented baker. And he's great with customers."

When he looks back at Miwa, one side of her mouth is turned up and she looks like she did when they were kids and she was about to play a trick on him. "And he's awfully cute, too."

Kageyama can feel the heat rush to his cheeks and internally groans because his sister is not going to let this go, he's sure of it.

"So?" Kageyama says, trying to sound as disinterested as possible when you're blushing like a fool over a crush. Despite his best efforts and his sense of self-preservation, his eyes dart back to Hinata.

"So," Miwa is grinning like the Chesire cat now, "You're obviously into him."

"What? Why do you say that?"

"Tobio, come on. It's obvious. You can't keep your eyes off of him!"

Again, Kageyama's eyes find Hinata. He hates that his sister is right, hates that she can see through him. "Whatever. It doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm his boss. And he's my roommate or, I guess my tenant. So it's not cool to make any advances. Ojiisan was very clear on that. It's called sexual harassment."

Miwa's eyebrows draw together. "I know what it's called, and I guess that's true." She throws another look over at Hinata. "But I don't think it would matter if you really liked each other."

"He doesn't think of me that way," Kageyama insists.

She looks over at Hinata. He's currently telling the customer that they have to try Kageyama's amanattō since it is the best he's ever had. He continues saying that Kageyama is the best baker in all of Tokyo. Miwa looks back at Kageyama with another smirk.

"He seems pretty fond of you if you ask me, but okay, I'll drop it. Anyway, I should be getting to work soon."

The customer leaves and it's just the three of them in the room. Miwa approaches Hinata to say goodbye. "It was nice to meet you, Hinata-kun. Thank you for making the suggestion and helping Kageyama paint the bakery. It looks really great."

"Oh, thank you, but I didn't help paint. Kageyama wouldn't let me because he said inhaling the fumes would be bad for my pup."

Kageyama watches as Miwa's eyes go wide, then flick down to Hinata's still flat belly and then back to his face. "Oh, Tobio didn't tell me you were expecting. Congratulations!"

"Thank you."

Miwa turns to Kageyama. "Tobio, walk me out, would you?"

She says goodbye to Hinata and heads back to the kitchen, Kageyama following behind. When they reach the back door, she turns and whispers, "He's pregnant? You didn't tell me that!"

"It didn't seem important."

"The pup isn't yours, is it?"

"No! We've never… had sex. Geez."

"Where's the pup's father?"

"He lives here in the city, but he's out of the picture. He is… he was not good to Hinata."

Miwa studies him, her mouth turned down slightly. "Tobio, be careful. I don't like this. A pregnant omega with a questionable ex. It all sounds very complicated."

"There's nothing to worry about, Miwa. I'm helping him get on his feet. He'll be moving out of the apartment before the pup is born."

Miwa pauses, looking like she wants to say something else, but finally just nods. "Okay, if you say so. I'm always here if you want to talk."

"I know."

"Love you, little brother."

"Love you too."

 

++++

 

When Miwa leaves, Kageyama resumes his baking, but his head is elsewhere. He briefly panics at the thought that he is so obvious in his interest in Hinata that the omega can tell as easily as Miwa did. But if Hinata had noticed, he would have said something, wouldn't he? Or at least hinted that he knew.

Kageyama tries to recall their interactions to see if there are any indications that Hinata is onto him. But there are no innuendos or insinuations, no barbs or jokes, no references that he can think of. So he's probably safe.

Maybe. Hopefully.

It's all fine, he tells himself. Hinata is likely oblivious to his feelings, and he can go on stuffing them down and pretending that all he feels for Hinata is friendship. He's never harbored any delusions that Hinata would want him back. Kageyama has never been an alpha that any omega would want once they got to know him. He knows he's grumpy and doesn't talk enough, doesn't express himself well.

Hinata would never want Kageyama when he could have anyone he wanted.

And Kageyama is convinced that Hinata could have anyone he wanted.

Kageyama tells himself this, protecting his poor, fragile heart from breaking. He's a pro now, anyway, practically having surrounded it with bubble wrap by this point. Having Hinata close, as an employee and temporarily as a roommate, is good enough for him.

He's never dared to hope for anything even half as good.

 

++++

 

A week after Miwa visits, Kageyama is in the bakery's kitchen, cleaning up and getting ready to close for the day. As is their routine, Hinata is in the front wiping down tables.

Kageyama hears the bell over the front door chime and frowns considering the time. He expects to hear Hinata's cheery voice kindly tell the customer that they're closing, but he hears Hinata say, "What are you doing here?" and his blood runs cold.

Kageyama quickly makes his way to the front of the bakery and his eyes take in the two people facing Hinata. One is a muscled man with dark hair, dressed in gray slacks and a blue button-down dress shirt. The other is a tiny woman with long brown hair. She's wearing a form-fitting green dress with high heels. Kageyama's eyes turn to see Hinata's face. He looks pale, distressed.

Scared.

The alpha is close to him. Too close. He looks big next to Hinata, who appears to have shrunk in comparison. It makes Kageyama's skin crawl.

"Mio here was just telling me that there's a bakery she loves and that we need to get some of their cheesecake. I could only hope that it would be the bakery I'd find you in. And well, here we are."

"Go away, Zenji. There's nothing for us to say."

"What's going on here?" Kageyama interjects, approaching the trio. He notices Sunada standing up straight, taking a more aggressive stance. Despite his logical brain kicking in telling him he has nothing to prove, Kageyama does the same, satisfied to find he has a few inches on the other alpha.

"I was just saying hello to my old friend, Hinata," Sunada says with false affability.

The alpha's fake pleasantries are obvious and cringe-worthy. "Looks like you did already. And I expressly heard him tell you to go, so you should."

The alpha ignores Kageyama's warning and turns back to Hinata. "Oh, come on, Shoyo. I really want to know how my pup is doing."

Kageyama watches the surprise flash across the woman's face. She clearly didn't know Hinata was carrying Sunada's pup.

"You don't care one bit about this pup, Zenji. Just leave us alone."

"I do care," Sunada says, his tone achingly saccharine. "I was thinking, I think I'd like to have visitation rights when he's born. Maybe even joint custody."

Hinata looks stricken, and Kageyama's heart squeezes. Kageyama takes an instinctive step toward Hinata.

"You wouldn't! You didn't even want this pup, Zenji. Why are you doing this?" Hinata cries. He's lost his composure now and Kageyama wants to punch Sunada so badly that his fingers twitch at his sides.

"Maybe I've changed my mind. The idea of a little mini-me running around does have some appeal."

The curl of Sunada's lip as he speaks is disgusting and cruel, and Kageyama struggles to keep his cool. "You're only doing this to hurt him, and we all know it. You've caused him enough pain already, don't you think? Hasn't he had enough of your treatment? Why don't you just crawl back into the hole you slithered from and leave him alone."

Sunada turns to him and he puffs himself up some more. "And who the fuck are you?"

"I'm his boss. This is my place, and it's time for you to leave now."

Sunada's eyes bounce from Hinata to Kageyama and an evil grin appears. "So are you two fucking?" And then to Hinata, "Is this your new alpha?" he asks with disdain.

Kageyama's anger immediately spikes and he answers before Hinata can speak. "Not that it's any of your business, but no. Now get out."

Sunada stupidly grabs Hinata's shoulder as he starts to say, "Shoyo, come on. Why can't we talk about our pup?"

Kageyama's reflexes are faster than his consciousness because before he knows it, he's got Sunada's wrist in a vice grip and is removing his hand from Hinata's body.

"Don't fucking touch him," he growls, surprising even himself at the alpha display. He's emitting aggressive pheromones now without even making the choice. He senses Sunada doing the same thing, but he doesn't care. His omega is being threatened and he's had it with this trashy alpha's bullshit.

Sunada wrestles his hand away from Kageyama's grip with some effort but then tries to recover. "You're awful protective of some omega that you aren't even fucking," he says accusingly as if he knows the two are hiding something.

Kageyama's rage ratchets up another notch and his aggression seeps into his voice. "It's none of your fucking business what we do. But make no mistake. This omega is my employee and my friend. He and his pup are part of my pack, and they're under my protection. And I will protect them at any cost. Right now, you are a hostile alpha on my turf. So you need to leave now before I ignore reason and kick your ass like my alpha is begging me to."

Sunada seems to consider pushing further, but he must sense the hostility emanating from Kageyama in waves. "Fine. I'll go now. But Shoyo, please think about visitation at the very least. You'll be hearing from my lawyer when it's closer to the pup's due date. I'm sure we can figure out a co-parenting situation that is acceptable to both of us."

"Like hell," Hinata hisses.

"Get the fuck out, Sunada. You're on my last nerve."

"I was just leaving. Mio might be right about the cheesecake here, but clearly the staff makes the place supremely unpleasant."

He turns to leave, and the woman chances one last nervous, frightened glance at them before following.

When he's sure the danger has passed, Kageyama turns to Hinata, who is white as a ghost and looks ready to collapse where he stands.

"Oi, dumbass, sit down," he instructs as he guides Hinata to a chair behind him. Hinata sits and hangs his head into his hands. He sounds like he is trying to breathe deep and steady, and Kageyama just lets him for a moment. He hates that the omega's scent is soured from stress and fear.

After a couple of minutes, Hinata looks up and he's fighting back tears. "Kageyama, he wants to see the pup. What am I going to do?"

Hinata's voice cracks at the end, and Kageyama suddenly wishes he had punched Sunada right in his ugly nose like he wanted to.

"It's going to be alright. He's just bluffing. He's trying to upset you, to have some control over you when he knows he lost it."

Hinata seems to think that over for a moment, but then says, "Maybe. But he could get a lawyer and get visitation. Oh, god, Kageyama, you don't think he'd get custody of the pup, do you? Because he has more money and a place to live?"

The idea makes Kageyama's hackles rise and he again wishes he had punched the asshole. "I don't think the courts like to take pups from their mothers without good reason."

Hinata seems to let that sink in. "Okay, but he could get visitation. And then what? He could do anything to the pup when I'm not around. I won't let him near this child, Kageyama! I won't!"

Hinata's words have become a desperate wail, and all Kageyama wants to do is comfort him. He squats down in front of Hinata's chair, taking both of Hinata's hands in his. "It's going to be okay. I'm not going to let that happen either. We'll figure this out, Hinata."

"But what if I need to pay a lawyer? That will cost so much and I'm trying to save and…" Hinata finally breaks down and starts sobbing, and Kageyama's heart twists uncomfortably. He hauls Hinata into his arms and does his best to soothe him. He emits calming pheromones and rubs circles on Hinata's back, all the while telling him, "It's okay, it's going to be okay. We'll figure it out, Hinata, I promise."

"I can't… he can't get anywhere near this pup. I won't allow it. I'll do anything I have to. I'll run away, I'll… I'll fucking kill him if I have to."

Hinata's venomous words startle Kageyama and his whole body freezes. When he recovers from the shock, he says reasonably, "No, you won't do that because then you'd go to jail and your pup needs you. We'll figure this out, Hinata. And I promise you, I will do anything and everything to prevent that monster from laying a finger on you or your pup."

Hinata pushes back enough to see Kageyama's face. Kageyama hates the look on his face, despises the red eyes and the tear-streaked cheeks. He detests that sad, haunted look in those pretty amber eyes. He wants to make it go away, realizes that he really would do anything to accomplish that.

"You will? But you don't owe me anything, Kageyama." Hinata's eyes look hopeful but disbelieving.

"I don't, but I will do it anyway. You are my friend, and you need help. It's the right thing to do, the moral thing."

"But what if he gets legal access to the baby? What then?"

"I'll do whatever it takes, Hinata, to protect you and the pup from him."

Kageyama must look dead serious because Hinata looks a little stunned. "Anything?" Hinata asks, his voice a conspiratorial whisper.

In that moment, Kageyama realizes the depth of his feelings for this omega, because he is dead serious. He would kill that fucker Sunada if it came to it. And he'd go to jail and accept it.

'You're so fucked' starts flashing over and over again like a neon sign in his mind.

"Yes. If it means keeping you and your pup safe."

The words seem to calm the omega because he pulls Kageyama back into a hug and takes a deep breath that sounds to Kageyama like relief.

"Okay," Hinata says softly. "I'll trust you. We'll figure it out."

"If it comes to that, we will. But remember, I think he's just doing this to hurt you. He doesn't really want the pup around from what you said."

Hinata nods into Kageyama's shoulder. "Yes, I hope you're right. It does seem likely."

I hope I'm right too, Kageyama says to himself as he holds the omega.

God, if only Hinata were his omega, if only the pup were his pup, he would have everything his heart desires. But he knows, having those things is not in the cards for him. Not with his abrasive personality and meager income. So he'll continue being Hinata's friend, continue offering protection until Hinata goes off on his own or finds his own alpha or reunites with his family.

It's all he can do. He doesn't have a choice, not really. And that's one thing Kageyama has always known, that he's never had much say in how his life goes.

 

///

Chapter 8: Disclosures

Summary:

Hinata reacts to Sunada's threats. Another visitor comes into the bakery.

After several minutes, Hinata finally feels steady enough to gently push Kageyama away and tell him, "I'm okay."

Kageyama studies Hinata's face, making sure he means it, Hinata supposes. Accepting that Hinata is sufficiently comforted, Kageyama rises from the floor. Hinata immediately misses the comfort of his scent.

They lock up the shop, finish their cleaning and head up to the apartment. Hinata feels drained, exhausted both emotionally and physically. He struggles to get up the stairs, his legs like weights. He needs to sleep.

He gets to the sofa and plops down headfirst. Kageyama doesn't say anything at first, but Hinata can feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of his shirt.

"You need to eat something," Kageyama finally says.

"Not hungry," Hinata mumbles without raising his head, his voice muffled by the fabric.

"I get it, but you need to eat for the pup."

Hinata hates that Kageyama is right. "I feel sick, 'Yama."

"At least have some crackers with peanut butter."

"I'll eat crackers but not peanut butter."

"Hinata," Kageyama says as if negotiating with a child, "You and the pup both need protein. If you're not going to eat a proper meal, at least have peanut butter with your crackers."

Hinata pouts into the sofa even though he knows Kageyama can't see it. "Fine," he agrees finally.

He hears Kageyama puttering in the kitchen for several minutes but keeps his face smooshed into the sofa and his eyes closed. He wants to go to sleep. Tomorrow he will be able to emotionally process what happened tonight. But not now. Now he needs to rest, to forget, even if it's only for eight hours.

He hears Kageyama place a dish on the coffee table. "Sit up and eat. Then you can go to bed."

Hinata whines because he already feels like a child, so why not? With effort, he pushes himself into a sitting position. The plate Kageyama has offered him has ten round crackers, each neatly and evenly covered with peanut butter.

"That's too much," Hinata says.

"That's three tablespoons of peanut butter, which is only ten grams of protein. It is the least you should eat for you and the pup. You actually need more, but this should be good enough if you promise to eat well tomorrow."

Hinata looks up to see if Kageyama is serious, but he looks normal. Same frown, same blue eyes, same unfairly beautiful face.

Hinata is struck again by the alpha's kind and caring nature, how he seems to automatically default to a caretaking mode. It feels so strange to Hinata. He is used to doing everything for his alpha, so being waited on and pampered is a foreign concept.

He accepts the food from Kageyama, thanks him, and begins nibbling on the first cracker as Kageyama sits down by his side without speaking. It feels nice to have Kageyama around for so many reasons, but Hinata is especially thankful for the alpha's assistance during the confrontation with Sunada.

Yes, he knows he can stand up for himself, can fight for himself. He is learning to be self-sufficient after a lifetime of relying on his parents and then Sunada. But when Zenji threatened him by implying he would try to take his pup, Hinata had lost it. His brain and body had frozen in terror, and he had been unable to think with the buzzing sound filling his head. Thankfully Kageyama had been there, had had his back when he needed someone to speak for him.

Hinata glances over at Kageyama's face to find the alpha watching him closely. "Do you want to talk about it?" Kageyama finally asks.

"No, not right now," Hinata says. He takes his time but dutifully finishes the crackers and places the plate back on the coffee table.

"Thanks, 'Yama," he says again, fighting to keep his eyes open.

"You're welcome. Do you want to watch Sugar Rush?" Kageyama asks, referring to one of their favorite baking shows.

"Sure," Hinata says, letting his head fall onto Kageyama's shoulder. Kageyama gets the remote and pulls up the next episode, and they watch in silence for a while, with only occasional comments here and there. Hinata soon gets so sleepy, he can't stay upright, so he shifts and rests his head on Kageyama's thigh.

"Mmm, better," he mumbles, curling his legs up and not even trying to pretend that he's still watching the show. He drifts off to sleep easily with the sounds of the television as background noise. He wakes up when the noise stops and realizes Kageyama has turned off the television.

"You should go to bed. It's getting late."

"Okay," Hinata agrees with a yawn. He stretches his muscles, then stands and says goodnight to Kageyama. As he brushes his teeth, he wonders if he dreamed the feeling of fingers threading through his hair.

 

+++

 

It's been about a week since Sunada showed up at the bakery and threatened Hinata. Hinata knows this because everything about that scene is burned into his brain, and he can't put it out of his mind.

The worry has been plaguing him almost every waking moment. The idea that Sunada would actually want to see their pup, that he might get access to the child without Hinata around makes Hinata's stomach clench despite him being mostly over morning sickness.

He will not allow it. Not ever. Not under any circumstances.

As he goes through his days, he considers different options, from lawyers to leaving the country to killing Sunada in a myriad of ways, from poison to taking out a hit. He knows he is losing it, knows he is obsessed, but he can't shake the feeling that he absolutely must do something to stop this from happening. He feels like the Grinch desperate to stop Christmas from coming to Whoville.

Hinata's worry is compounded by his upcoming doctor's appointment the next day. He is anxious about the pup's health to the point of playing a recurring scenario in his head where the nurse or doctor can't find the pup's heartbeat. It's unlikely, he realizes, but it's possible, and lately, he has not been doing so well putting things in proper perspective.

Kageyama must notice that he is especially preoccupied today because his boss says, "Oi, dumbass, what's with you today? You've been kneading that dough as if it personally offended you."

Hinata balks at the comment and the realization that he has lost track of time. He can feel his cheeks heat from embarrassment. "Oh, sorry. I was a little distracted."

Kageyama pauses as he fills pastries with jelly and examines Hinata in a way that makes Hinata feel exposed. "What?" Hinata says defensively.

"What's going on with you? Are you thinking about your ex?"

Hinata notices that Kageyama rarely refers to Sunada by his name. "Yes, sort of. And also, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I'm sort of nervous. I should have gone before now, I know, but with everything going on, and…"

Hinata pauses to look up at Kageyama, expecting to see some sign of disapproval or disappointment in him for not seeing a doctor before now. But Kageyama is looking at him like he always does, this time with his worried frown.

"Is everything okay with the pup?" Kageyama asks, his voice canting a bit higher than normal.

"Yes, or at least I think so. I just… I'm anxious to go and… Kageyama, what if there is something wrong with the pup?"

Kageyama's face relaxes into his normal frown. "Oh, well, it's probably going to be fine," he says in his regular voice.

"I was wondering," Hinata begins carefully, "I know it's your errands day and all, but would you…" he looks up into Kageyama's eyes, and again the color reminds of his mother's Lapis ring. He feels a sudden ache in his gut and his heart because he misses his mother. He wishes she were here so that he could talk to her about this, about his pregnancy and his worries.

He feels his throat start to constrict but forces his words past the blockage. "Would you come with me?"

Hinata chances a look at Kageyama's face, which has softened considerably into an expression that Hinata sometimes sees but doesn't understand. There's no frown to be analyzed, just a look that's somehow open and honest. It unnerves Hinata to see this, to be faced with a puzzle that he can't solve when he thought he could read Kageyama like a familiar book.

"Of course, if that's what you want," Kageyama responds, turning back to his jelly filling.

Hinata lets out a deep breath, just now realizing how much of a burden has just been lifted. Having Kageyama there will calm his nerves, make him feel more steady, more confident.

If Kageyama is with him, he can handle this. He can handle anything.

 

+++

 

The next day when Hinata is called back into the examination room at the doctor's office, Kageyama trails behind him. The nurse has Hinata sit on the exam table and takes his vitals while Kageyama sits in the visitor's chair watching with an unreadable expression.

Since Hinata is nervous, he chats almost non-stop with the nurse, asking about how long she's worked there and if she has pups of her own. The nurse is friendly and answers Hinata's questions as she prepares him for the exam.

"When the doctor comes in, we'll use this machine to check the baby's heartbeat," she tells him, pointing to a device with a wand-like handle. "We'll put some gel on your abdomen first, so it's a little cold, but the procedure isn't uncomfortable or invasive."

"Okay, thank you," Hinata answers before the nurse exits the small room. He is antsy and still worried about the pup and trying valiantly to push away the scenario his brain concocted. His legs jiggle and his fingers tap the paper on the exam table in an annoying, repetitive rhythm.

Finally, a knock sounds at the door and the doctor enters. She's middle-aged with shoulder-length black hair and red glasses. "Hello, Hinata-san. I'm Doctor Matsumoto." She offers her hand to Hinata and then to Kageyama, who awkwardly accepts it. "And you must be Hinata-san's partner?" she asks.

Kageyama turns an unhealthy shade of red, and Hinata has to contain his laughter. He interjects, "Ah, no. He's just a friend here for moral support."

"Oh, I see," the doctor says as her eyes dart between the two like she's watching a tennis match. "Well then, let's see what we have here," she says to the room as she pulls up Hinata's chart. "So looks like you're fourteen weeks along. How have you been feeling?"

"The morning sickness is mostly gone," Hinata answers, "So now I'm just really tired all the time."

"Yes, I'm afraid that's normal. Have you been having any problems? Any bleeding or cramping?"

Hinata feels a little ill at the thought but is thankful that he can answer no.

"Good," the doctor responds. "And what about sleeping and eating? Are you getting enough rest? Eating healthy?"

Hinata can't help but sneak a look at Kageyama who always makes sure he has a healthy meal, or at least peanut butter with his crackers. "Yes, ma'am. I try to eat balanced meals every day, and I sleep at least eight hours a night."

"Great. If you're not already taking a prenatal vitamin daily, I recommend you do that. You can purchase it at any drug store."

"I will do that. Thank you."

"Do you have any questions for me?" Doctor Matsumoto asks.

"Not that I can think of. I'm just a little nervous about the pup's health. I'll feel better when I hear the heartbeat."

"Ah, yes, well that's understandable. Let's get to it then. Please lay back," she instructs Hinata, then pulls his shirt up to expose his stomach and squirts some gel on it. She takes the wand and runs it over his stomach for several seconds, then stops.

Hinata can hear it immediately. His pup's heartbeat. His anxiety wanes almost instantaneously, and he focuses on listening to the steady thumping.

"There it is," the doctor says with a smile. "Looks like it's about one hundred and fifty beats per minute, just where we want it to be."

Hinata looks over at Kageyama and sees that strange look again. But he's too happy, too relieved to dwell on it.

"Good. I was… I was a little worried."

"I understand. Next month when you come in, we'll do an ultrasound. We'll be able to see the pup, measure them, and check for any signs of problems. Once you see them, I hope you will be less anxious."

"Yeah, I hope so too," Hinata answers.

"Great," the doctor says as she removes the wand and wipes the gel from Hinata's stomach. "Do you have any questions before I go?"

"No, I don't think so. Thank you, Doctor Matsumoto."

"We'll see you next month, Hinata-san."

As they exit from the doctor's office, Hinata chats and Kageyama is quiet. "Did you hear that, Kageyama? The baby's heartbeat. Wow, that was really cool, don't you think?"

"Yeah, it was. Do you feel better now?"

"Yes, I do. I'm still going to worry, but not as much now. And I can't wait for next month! Will you come to that appointment with me too?? We'll see an actual image of the pup!"

One corner of Kageyama's mouth rises fractionally, and Hinata knows he's excited about it too, even if he doesn't admit it. Hinata feels better now, on even ground. Before the appointment, he was so focused on the possibility that there was something wrong with the pup. Now he just feels excited.

There's a life growing inside him.

It seems more real now that he's heard the heartbeat, and he's sure it will be even more so when he sees the image on the ultrasound. He pushes aside thoughts of the pup's piece-of-shit sperm donor for the moment. Right now, he wants to feel happy.

He casts another glance at Kageyama out of the corner of his eye, and wishes, not for the first or last time, that the alpha beside him was his pup's sire.

 

+++

 

In the weeks after his doctor's appointment, Hinata notices his stomach is no longer flat. He has a cute little baby bump that he finds himself rubbing absently. In a way, it feels satisfying to be showing. It makes it more real, both to him and the outside world. That little belly bump is a sign that reminds him every moment that there is a pup growing inside him.

On the other hand, this new development is slightly annoying because his pants don't fit so well anymore. He can't wear his normal jeans, and he needs to fold the waistband of his sweatpants under his bulging belly. It's not ideal, but it's not yet noticeable. His shirts still fit, at least for now, and he figures he'll worry about new clothes when it becomes necessary.

It's almost closing time on a Saturday evening, and Hinata is wiping down the tables as the duo prepares to lock up. Hinata hears the bell over the door and has a moment of panic as he remembers the last time the bell rang at this hour. He looks up, frozen to the spot, part of his brain expecting to see Sunada, but it's not him. It's a petite woman with long dark hair. She looks familiar somehow, and then it hits Hinata.

She was the woman with Sunada when he came in three weeks ago.

The woman approaches timidly, carefully as if trying not to scare a wounded animal. Hinata doesn't know what to make of this visit, so he braces for another confrontation, figuring she is here as Sunada's messenger.

"Hinata-san?" the woman says in a quiet voice. "You probably don't remember me. My name is Ikeda Mio. I… I met you a few weeks ago with Zenji."

Hinata frowns at the woman, feeling irritation and anger rise. "I don't have anything to say to you, so you can just leave."

"No, wait, Hinata-san, please. I… Zenji doesn't know I'm here. I wanted… can I talk to you?"

There's something in the woman's voice, a desperation that Hinata recognizes, but he's still wary. "About what?" he asks carefully.

"When your friend said Zenji hurt you, what did he mean?" The woman looks sincere and honestly, frightened as well. Something in Hinata's heart twists uncomfortably.

"I don't know that you really want to know, Ikeda-san."

Ikeda takes a step forward, and Hinata can see the pleading in her eyes. "Please. I want to know. I need to know. I'm… scared."

"Has he hurt you?" Hinata asks, immediately on alert.

"No. But if he hurt you, I'm afraid I'm next."

Hinata debates for a long moment, his pride warring with his sense of responsibility. He doesn't want to relate everything Sunada did to him to another person, let alone a stranger. Yet, he also doesn't want her to suffer the same fate.

He is lost in thought when he hears Kageyama's accusing voice, "What are you doing here?" Hinata turns, and Kageyama is addressing Ikeda. He looks menacing now, strong and intimidating, and Ikeda seems to shrink under his scrutiny. "I wanted to… I just wanted to talk to Hinata-san…" she stutters, and Hinata feels compelled to intervene.

"Kageyama, it's okay. She wants to know about Sunada. About how he hurt me."

"And why is that? Are you going to report back to him? Give him something to use against Hinata?"

"No!" Ikeda insists, and Hinata can see tears pool in her eyes. "I'm afraid! I wanted to know… I wanted to decide what to do."

"What do you mean?" Hinata asks.

"Like maybe I should leave him," she admits. "I need to know if I should. Please, Hinata-san."

"You should definitely leave him," Hinata responds.

"But can you tell me? I don't want to leave him. I love him, or I think I do anyway. But I need to know what he's done."

Hinata glances at Kageyama, who still looks angry and wary, then back at Ikeda. She is clearly distraught and afraid, and Hinata decides that maybe he can spare her more anguish.

"It's okay, Kageyama. I'll talk to her."

Kageyama stares at him so long that Hinata expects him to object, but he just nods and says, "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," his words a clear warning to Ikeda.

"Thanks, Kageyama," Hinata says, then motions for the woman to sit down. "How long have you been with him?" he asks.

"Not long. A month and half."

"Ah," Hinata says nodding. "I bet everything's pretty great right now, right? He's giving you gifts, telling you how amazing you are, taking you to fancy places, showing you off, right?"

Ikeda nods stiffly.

"That's how it started with me too. I was young and stupid. I thought his attention made me special, it made me feel that way anyway. I let it sweep me away. I enjoyed it. For a while."

Hinata thinks back to those early months with Sunada, how he felt like someone had finally loved him and valued him.

And how it had all fallen apart.

"But, Ikeda-san, it didn't last. Once I moved into his apartment, it all changed. He became controlling and restrictive. He didn't want me to have a job or friends or money. He wanted to know where I was at all times. He expected me to stay home and cook and clean for him, and to have sex with him whenever he wanted. He broke his promises to me," Hinata continued, as he choked back an urge to sob at how stupid and naïve and trusting he had been.

The woman looks stricken now, her heart-shaped face pale and her lips drawn into a tight line. "I'm sorry that happened to you, Hinata-san," she says, and he can tell she is moved, indignant on his behalf.

"Yeah, me too. So do yourself a favor. Get out before he does that to you, before he begins controlling and manipulating you. You don't want someone like that, even if he does seem attentive and generous at the beginning. You want someone who is truly kind, who really cares about your wellbeing. You want someone who will sacrifice for you, not to ask you to do it for them without anything in return. You want someone who puts you first, who protects you, who makes you feel safe and protected and loved."

Ikeda is crying now, and Hinata pauses. Looking up, he sees Kageyama in the doorway to the kitchen, staring at him as if he's just seen a ghost. Kageyama quickly averts his eyes and turns back to the kitchen, as the force of his own words wash over Hinata like a tidal wave.

All those things he described about what a partner should be describe Kageyama to a tee. He looks back toward the kitchen, turning the words over and over in his head and realizing with a force that steals his breath that his feelings for Kageyama are not some silly crush on an alpha who just happened to be in close proximity.

No, his feelings for Kageyama are deeper than that. He realizes he trusts the alpha, relies on him as a friend and confidante.

And despite his earlier prediction, these feelings are not going away. They are only getting stronger. They grow with each kind gesture, with each protective stance, with every word that shows that he cares about Hinata's well-being.

Oh, my god, I'm so fucked, Hinata thinks, even as Ikeda is drying her tears with a handkerchief.

"Thank you for telling me, Hinata-san," the woman says. "I guess that's why you left him, right?"

"Well, yes, but I left when I found out I was carrying a pup. I couldn't bear the thought of raising a child with him, of subjecting a child to that environment."

"I understand. If it was as bad as you say, I wouldn't either."

"It was," Hinata assures her.

"I really do appreciate you talking to me. It is breaking my heart, but I needed to know."

"I'm sorry for you, as well. I hope you get out soon."

"I'm going to. I want to talk to my parents, figure out how to best do it."

Hinata's heart squeezes at the mention of Ikeda's parents. If only he had his family to lean on when he left.

"Anyway, thank you again. I wish you well with your pregnancy." Ikeda clasps her hands together and bows to Hinata.

"I wish you well too. Be safe, Ikeda-san," Hinata responds, bowing as well.

Hinata walks her to the door and locks it behind her. He flicks off the lights in the shop and returns to the kitchen where Kageyama appears to be trying to look busy. When Hinata approaches, Kageyama looks up and asks, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," Hinata answers, though he doesn't feel okay. He feels overwhelmed with the realization that his crush on this gruff, handsome alpha is growing. "Let's go up and eat."

They make their way upstairs to the apartment where Kageyama quickly cooks the meal they had prepped earlier in the week. They eat together at the small kitchen table, discussing the success of the new products Kageyama has tried baking. They finish their meal and clean up the dishes together, with Hinata washing and Kageyama drying. They make some popcorn and settle into their nightly routine of watching baking shows on the sofa.

Hinata is arguing with Kageyama over a contestant's choice of using fondant to decorate their cake when he feels a flutter in his tummy that is most decidedly not gas. He freezes, his hand holding the popcorn paused halfway to his mouth, waiting to see if he can feel it again.

Kageyama notices that Hinata has stopped talking and looks over to see what's going on. He must be alarmed at what he sees because he says urgently, "Hinata? What's wrong?"

Hinata's eyes slide over to Kageyama's face. "I think I might have felt the pup kick."

Kageyama's eyes go comically wide. "Can you feel it this early?"

Hinata is equally uninformed. "I don’t know. Let's look it up."

Kageyama whips out his phone and does a quick search. "Well, if Google's new AI algorithm can be trusted, it says you can feel the pup's movements starting at around sixteen weeks."

Hinata answers, "I'm sixteen weeks now, so maybe that was what that was."

Kageyama's brows draw together, and he's got his thinking frown on. "What does it feel like?"

"It's weird. Like a little flutter in your belly, almost like gas, but also, not."

"Where was it?" Kageyama asks, staring at Hinata's belly.

Hinata lifts his shirt to expose his modest baby bump. "Here," he indicates, putting his hand on the right side of his belly.

"Do you think you can feel it on the outside?" Kageyama asks.

"I don't know," Hinata answers honestly.

Kageyama reaches out a hand, then pulls it back as if burned. His cheeks turn adorably red as he asks, "May I?"

Hinata stifles a grin and indicates it's okay. Kageyama puts his hand to Hinata's belly, just where Hinata's hand was a moment before.

"Tell me if you feel it again, okay?"

"Okay," Hinata says. For several minutes, they are both quiet, intensely focused on detecting any slight movement beneath the skin on Hinata's abdomen.

Then Hinata feels that flutter again in the same place, faint but definitely noticeable, and blurts out, "There!"

Kageyama turns to face him, his pouty, sad frown firmly in place. "I couldn't feel anything."

He looks so disappointed, so adorable and earnest and fucking gorgeous at that moment that Hinata's heart nearly bursts with emotion.

I love him, he thinks with a calm acceptance of the inevitable. I fucking love him.

Hinata's next impulse is to comfort the alpha. "I'm sorry. I'm sure it will get easier to feel as the pup gets bigger."

"I guess," Kageyama says, removing his hand but still pouting.

Hinata just stares at Kageyama's face for a moment, committing this moment to memory. This moment, with the television in the background, on the plain beige sofa, with Kageyama's inky black hair and Lapis blue eyes, his big hand warm on Hinata's belly, his coffee scent calming and delicious. This is the moment Hinata will remember as the point he recognized his feelings are deep and real.

He won't act upon them because Kageyama has never given any indication that he thinks of Hinata as other than a friend. But it will be okay, he tells himself. He'd rather have Kageyama as a friend than not at all.

He'll take what he can get, Hinata thinks to himself. It's more than he's ever had before, and it will just have to be enough.

 

 

///

Chapter 9: Fantasies

Summary:

Kageyama has a rut and Hinata reveals why he can't return to his family.

Notes:

I'm so sorry y'all. I forgot when I posted the last chapter to tell you that I'd be traveling and wasn't sure when the next chapter would be posted. :(

So I've given you a little smut to make up for it. :)

Kageyama is strangely disappointed that he can't feel the baby kick. He looks up at Hinata and is struck by the omega's soft expression, one he's never seen before. Hinata's cheeks are dusted a soft pink. His lips are slightly parted, and his eyes twinkle like stars. He looks so angelic and kissable at that moment, Kageyama's heart stutters a bit in his chest.

The realization that he loves Hinata washes over him.

This is the face I want to wake up to every day, he thinks. This is the face I want to see every night before I go to sleep.

He has hopelessly fallen for the omega. He would do anything for him, would move mountains to make sure he and his pup are safe and happy. He wants to spend every day baking and bickering and arguing with Hinata. He wants to hold him in his arms, caress and worship him, kiss his lips and his nose and his forehead.

Kageyama expected to feel overwhelmed once he felt this emotion for the first time. Instead, it envelops him like a blanket of warmth. It was inevitable, from the moment Hinata stepped into his bakery three months ago.

Kageyama surrenders to the inevitable.

For the hundredth time, he wishes the pup Hinata carried were his, that the three of them could be a family. It's foolish and impossible, but his heart is certain on that point.

It doesn't matter what I want, he thinks as he pulls his hand from Hinata's soft, warm skin. Because Hinata doesn't think of him that way, doesn't see him as a potential partner. He is Hinata's friend, boss and roommate. Nothing more. It will never be more.

He knows Hinata will leave one day, will take his pup and move on. So Kageyama promises himself that he will cherish the time he has. He learned from his grandfather to live in the moment, to appreciate what is right in front of you when you have it.

Because, in the end, life eventually takes it from you.

 

+++

 

A week after Kageyama's epiphany, he stands in the bakery's kitchen. He pounds pastry dough as if it was Sunada's face. He frowns, pouts even, as he listens to Hinata talk to that stupid customer.

The customer is a tall, blonde, handsome alpha who comes into the bakery a couple times a week. He wears a suit and carries a leather messenger bag, which indicates to Kageyama that he has some fancy office job. He flirts incessantly with Hinata, who laughs at his jokes and accepts his compliments with a blush and a demure 'thank you.'

Kageyama hates him.

The customer, not Hinata, of course.

Today, the alpha tells Hinata he looks very nice in his pink shirt and that it compliments his skin and hair color.

Fucking asshole. Who says that?

Next, the alpha asks for his favorite pastry and asks if Hinata made them. When Hinata says 'yes,' the alpha insists that Hinata must be the most talented baker in Tokyo, if not all of Japan. Kageyama wants to vomit.

He still pounds the dough as he concludes this alpha is a class-A douchebag. But then he hears the alpha ask if Hinata wants to go to dinner with him, and Kageyama's whole body freezes.

He holds his breath as he waits for Hinata's response. Hinata is gracious and kind as always but ultimately turns the alpha down.

Kageyama lets out a relieved breath.

When he hears the bell over the front door ring, he resumes kneading dough more professionally. He needs to get a hold of his jealous, possessive thoughts about his completely platonic friend and employee. He doesn't know why he's so jealous today. Well, more so than usual.

Then it occurs to him. His rut is coming soon.

When Hinata walks into the kitchen with a smile, Kageyama's frown turns more pronounced.

Hinata immediately reacts, "What's wrong, Baka-Yama? You put salt in the dough instead of sugar again?"

"Shut up, dumbass," he answers as he wipes his hands and faces Hinata. "Why didn't you say yes? To that alpha?"

"What?" Hinata asks.

"When that alpha asked you out, why didn't you say yes?"

"I don't know. Because I'm pregnant."

"So?"

"I shouldn't be dating."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"You could if you wanted to, you know," Kageyama presses on. He doesn't even know why he's doing it. He doesn't want Hinata to date anyone else. Ever.

"What's going on?" Hinata asks, sounding annoyed. "Why are you pushing me to date?"

"I'm not pushing you to date. I just said you could if you wanted to!"

"Well, I don't want to!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

They stare at each other silently for several seconds. Kageyama immediately regrets picking a fight. "I'm sorry," he offers. "I'm getting near my rut, and I'm on edge. I shouldn't have said those things."

Hinata's face and stance relax. "It's okay. I get it. Are you feeling okay? How close is your rut?"

"About five, maybe six days away. We should talk about how that will go."

"Oh," Hinata replies. "Okay. What do you usually do?"

"I usually close the bakery for a few days."

"I can keep it open if you want," Hinata offers.

"You won't be able to make our usual inventory by yourself."

"I know, but I could make some. I can just explain we are out of some things due to you being sick."

"I don't know. I usually just close."

"Kageyama, this will give us a little more income. It will be okay. I mean, if you don't want me to, I understand," Hinata hesitates, looking earnest and intense, "But I want to… I need to be able to do this on my own, without you."

Kageyama considers. He knows Hinata wants to be independent, wants to stand on his own two feet. Kageyama acknowledges Hinata can probably do it well enough already. He has gotten better every day and soon will be able to go off and run his own bakery. The idea causes Kageyama to be both proud and melancholy. He doesn't like the idea of Hinata leaving but knows it will happen at some point.

"Okay, fine. But don't think you can count this as a win," Kageyama adds.

"Oh, I'm definitely counting this as a win. Actually two wins, one for convincing you, and then one when I successfully run the bakery without you."

Kageyama huffs as Hinata grins at him.

"What about at home?" Hinata asks, shifting gears.

"Oh, yeah. Well, I don't think I should… I don't think you… I don't think we should come in contact with each other while it's going on. I've never been around an omega during my rut, and I don't know how I'll react."

Hinata's face falls, and Kageyama immediately realizes he's upset the omega, though he doesn't understand why.

"I guess I can find somewhere else to stay," Hinata begins, and Kageyama realizes the misunderstanding.

"No, you don't have to leave! I didn't mean that. My bedroom has an ensuite bathroom, so that isn't an issue, but I usually come out into the kitchen when I need food, so maybe I can just keep enough to eat and drink in my bedroom, and I can stay in there the whole time."

"I don’t want to inconvenience you in your own apartment, Kageyama."

"It's fine, really. You can even help get the food ready if you want."

"Okay, I will then," Hinata replies, and that smile Kageyama is so fond of is back.

"Okay, then. Thank you, Hinata."

"Anytime."

 

+++

 

Five days later, they finish dinner and settle down on the sofa to watch Cake Wars. Kageyama takes his usual place on the left side of the sofa, but Hinata, instead of his usual place next to Kageyama, decides to plop down at the other end where he can rest his head on the arm.

An emotion that resembles resentment blossoms in Kageyama's chest. He crosses his arms in front of him, sure his face sports a scowl. What the fuck is Hinata doing? Hinata always sits next to him and lays his head on his shoulder.

He might have let out a "Hmph" or maybe it was a growl, but Hinata turns his head in Kageyama's direction.

"What's got you so crabby, Grumpy-Yama?" Hinata asks.

"Nothing," Kageyama says churlishly.

"Aw, come on, tell me," Hinata prods.

 "You're way over there," Kageyama whines, realizing he sounds like a child. "And I wanted to cuddle."

"Aww, Cuddle-Yama, you want me closer?"

"Yes, please."

Hinata giggles and scoots closer, putting his head on Kageyama's shoulder. "Is this better?"

Kageyama immediately feels relief. "Yes. Thank you."

They watch for more than two hours, Kageyama content and satisfied with Hinata by his side. But halfway through the third episode, Kageyama notices he's distracted. By Hinata's scent.

Since when did Hinata smell so fucking good?

Kageyama has always thought Hinata smelled good, but now his scent is magnetic, alluring, enticing.

Kageyama wants to bury his face in Hinata's neck and drown himself in that scent.

He is seconds away from giving into that instinct when it occurs to him – his rut is starting. He jumps up, and Hinata falls over as a result.

"What the fuck, 'Yama?" Hinata asks.

"I'm sorry. It's just… I think my rut is starting. I have to go. I have to…" He doesn't finish that thought, which was "get away from you" because he doesn't think that would sound too nice.

"Oh, okay. Let's get everything set up for you. I'll grab the food we prepared."

As Hinata goes to the kitchen, Kageyama goes to the laundry room to get the basket of his clean clothes. As he leans to pick it up, he notices a basket of Hinata's dirty laundry waiting to go into the washer. He sneaks a look over his shoulder, and confident Hinata will not see, grabs one of Hinata's t-shirts from the pile and hides it in his basket. He brings everything back to his room just as Hinata finishes piling the provisions on top of Kageyama's dresser.

"That ought to do it."

"Good. Thanks, Hinata."

"Yeah, no problem. I'll see you in a few days, I guess. I'd say 'have fun' but that sounds a little weird, right?"

Kageyama laughs briefly. "Yeah. I'll see you later."

Hinata leaves his bedroom, and Kageyama snaps the lock into place. He retrieves Hinata's dirty t-shirt from the basket and tucks it under his pillow. He showers and gets into bed naked, wanting to sleep as much as possible before his rut kicks into full gear. He drifts off to sleep, thinking of how Hinata looked when Kageyama tried to feel his pup kick.

It's his favorite image to conjure in his brain.

 

+++

 

Kageyama wakes to find himself humping his bed. He takes a minute to realize he was having a dream, about Hinata of course, and that his rut is in full swing. He grabs Hinata's t-shirt from under his pillow and rolls onto his back. His right hand goes immediately to his cock, while his left hand presses the t-shirt to his face. He inhales deeply and groans at the intensity of Hinata's scent on the garment. It should be gross, but Kageyama is enthralled with the scent of cinnamon and sugar combined with Hinata's sweat. He strokes himself slowly and purposefully as he lets his mind wander to his favorite fantasy.

Hinata is sitting next to him on the sofa with his head on Kageyama's shoulder.

They are watching TV, and it is a normal evening until Hinata says, "Hey, Kageyama?"

Kageyama turns his head toward Hinata, and before he knows it, Hinata kisses him. Kageyama is shocked, but soon surprise gives way to relief and happiness and wanting.

It's his first kiss. And it's everything.

Hinata's lips are slightly chapped, but they feel plush against Kageyama's mouth, and he can't find the will to complain.

Kageyama knows they'd be chapped because that dumbass always forgets to use chapstick. Also, because he knows Hinata is a greedy bastard, he wouldn't just kiss him with his lips, so…

Hinata prods with his tongue, nips at Kageyama's lips with his teeth, devours Kageyama's mouth with fervor. And Kageyama is lost, bewitched, so wrapped up in Hinata that nothing else exists in the world.

Hinata pushes him down onto his back and climbs on top of him, still plundering his mouth. Kageyama puts up no resistance because Hinata is a force of nature, a tsunami, and Kageyama is just a man.

Hinata runs his hand up under Kageyama's shirt, skimming his fingers across the muscles of his stomach, his ribs, and back down his side. The contact makes Kageyama burn hotly, wanting more. He runs his hands up Hinata's back, then under his shirt to grip the muscles at his sides, and Hinata moans softly. Kageyama has never heard a more beautiful sound.

Hinata breaks the kiss to bury his face in Kageyama's neck and inhales deeply. "You smell so good," he murmurs.

He likes the idea of Hinata saying this, so he always makes sure it's in there.

Hinata starts grinding on him then, and the sensation of their dicks pressing together is too much for Kageyama. He wants so badly now, has waited so long.

Hinata leans back and starts tugging on Kageyama's shirt. "Take this off. Wanna feel you." Kageyama is not about to argue, so soon his shirt is off, and so is Hinata's, and they are back to grinding into each other, Kageyama's hips rising to meet Hinata's.

In his fantasy, Hinata is not pregnant because that just seems creepy.

Hinata is still devouring his mouth, letting out little moans and gasps every so often, and the sounds are driving Kageyama mad. Hinata's scent is so thick and sweet that Kageyama can nearly taste it.

He wants to taste it.

Hinata breaks the kiss and declares, "I want you to fuck me. Will you? Please, 'Yama?"

And Kageyama can only nod numbly.

Hinata sits up and strips off his pants and boxers in one go. His scent is so much stronger now that Kageyama inhales sharply. As Hinata tosses the garments to the floor, Kageyama can see they're soaked with slick, and his dick twitches. Hinata pulls off Kageyama's pants and boxer briefs as well, then climbs on top of him, his thighs straddling Kageyama's hips.

Kageyama is mesmerized by the sight of a naked Hinata, his skin flushed a soft pink, his eyes hooded and hazy with lust. He watches carefully as Hinata positions himself over Kageyama's cock and sinks down.

Logically, Kageyama knows that preparation is involved before this happens, but he doesn't really know how that works, so he always skips over it and moves onto the good stuff.

Hinata moans lewdly and tells Kageyama, "Oh, god, you feel so good. So big."

It's Kageyama's fantasy, so he can make Hinata say anything he wants.

Hinata plants his palms flat on Kageyama's chest and starts riding him. Kageyama grips Hinata's hips, helping him move, while he watches Hinata, mesmerized. Hinata's lips are slightly parted, and he lets out soft groans each time he slams down onto Kageyama's cock. His eyes are closed most of the time, but when he looks at Kageyama, it's intense and erotic.

Hinata starts moving more quickly and stutters, "I'm close. Please touch me, 'Yama." So Kageyama reaches out a hand and strokes Hinata's cock while he snaps his hips up. Within seconds, Hinata moans lewdly and cum spurts over Kageyama's hands. He watches Hinata's face with fascination as he orgasms. Hinata's head is thrown back, his mouth is open, and his eyes are squeezed shut. He is beautiful.

Kageyama comes soon after, and it's the most intense, earth-shattering orgasm he's ever had. Hinata collapses on him and murmurs that he loves him. Kageyama says he loves him too, he's always loved him, then kisses his forehead and holds him tight, feeling like the luckiest man on earth.

Kageyama doesn't want to think about knots and cleaning up cum, so the fantasy ends there. He's still got Hinata's shirt pressed to his face as he strokes himself to completion, muffling his moans with it. He feels a bit like a creep masturbating with the help of his friend's dirty laundry, but he's in rut, and it's rough, so he's going to ignore that feeling for now.

After he comes down from his high, he cleans up and lays back on the bed, tired. But soon another wave hits him, and he grabs Hinata's t-shirt again, like the major creeper he is. He's got his right hand on his cock again and another fantasy plays out in his mind.

He is taking a shower in his bathroom. It's right before bed, and he's sleepy and half out of it, so he doesn't hear the bathroom door opening and closing. The next thing he knows, the shower curtain slides open and Hinata stands there, naked and gorgeous.

Again, Hinata is not pregnant in this scenario.

He's all lean, lithe muscles and tan skin, and Kageyama's eyes skim up and down, taking all that beauty. When his eyes come back to Hinata's face, he is smirking, "Mind if I join you?" he asks and then climbs in behind Kageyama without waiting for an answer.

Kageyama is too dumbstruck and too horny to say no, so he doesn't speak, just watches Hinata reach to get the soap. Hinata begins washing himself, and Kageyama's eyes are glued to every patch of skin that Hinata's hands glide over. Hinata steps into the spray to rinse off the soap, then finally turns to Kageyama.

"Need some help?" he asks, then proceeds to wash Kageyama's skin with the same languid movements. Kageyama just lets him, watching silently as Hinata's hands touch every part of him. Hinata gets to his dick and says, "Nice," as he starts stroking soap over Kageyama's length until it's hard.

Fine, so he has a thing about Hinata praising his dick.

Kageyama looks down and practically comes at the sight of Hinata's hand wrapped around him. But Hinata stops and steps aside so that the spray rinses Kageyama off. When he's free of soap, Hinata drops to his knees.

He admits this is quite dangerous and likely to result in injury in real life.

Hinata wraps his lips around Kageyama's dick and Kageyama has to steady himself by leaning on the shower wall. Hinata's mouth is so hot and wet, and his tongue is doing fantastic things around the head of Kageyama's cock. It doesn't take long for Kageyama to warn that he's close. Hinata grabs onto both of Kageyama's ass cheeks and bobs his head more furiously. Kageyama buries his fingers in Hinata's hair and comes down his throat. Hinata pops off, looks up at him and grins ferally. Kageyama pulls him to his feet…

Again, sudden movements are not recommended in the shower due to risk of injury.

And kisses him wildly. He can taste his own cum on Hinata's tongue and it turns him on more. Hinata says, 'Take me to bed, 'Yama,' and Kageyama does. They dry off quickly.

Kageyama skips over that part in his fantasy.

And they rush to his bed. Hinata quickly gets on all fours and presents to him. Kageyama pushes in right away.

Yeah, he knows – prep. But he can do whatever he wants in his head.

Hinata is moaning like a whore and begging for his knot, and Kageyama pounds him until Hinata screams and comes untouched. The sensation of Hinata clenching around his dick has him coming, shoving his knot in.

The fantasy ends there, and when Kageyama comes in his fantasy, he also comes in real life, again inhaling Hinata's scent from the shirt. His head is fuzzy, but whatever thoughts he can grab onto are of Hinata. Always Hinata.

He spends the next few days with Hinata's shirt pressed to his nose, losing himself in various fantasies about his friend and coworker. In one, Hinata comes up behind him while he's washing dishes in their apartment's kitchen and gropes his dick. In that one, Kageyama ends up pressing Hinata against the refrigerator and fucking him standing up.

In another, they're in the bakery, cleaning up after closing. Hinata comes into the kitchen and stares at him until Kageyama says, 'What?' Then Hinata presses himself to Kageyama, threads a hand through Kageyama's hair, and kisses him. He pulls back and says, "Fuck me. Right here," and then Kageyama takes him from behind while Hinata is chest down on the counter. When they are done, they are both covered in flour, so they need to take a shower.

Cue the shower fantasy.

Another favorite scenario that Kageyama likes to revisit is one where Hinata sneaks into his bedroom late at night and wakes him up. Hinata is in heat, desperate and begging for Kageyama's knot. Kageyama obliges the omega and presses Hinata's back to the mattress, lifts his legs up over his shoulders, then fucks him hard and fast. He watches Hinata's face as he loses himself to the bliss and babbles about how good Kageyama feels and how much he's always wanted him.

The next three days pass in one giant cycle of sleeping, waking, fantasizing, coming, cleaning up, then sleeping again.

Through all of it, Hinata's shirt is never far away.

 

+++

 

On the fourth day, Kageyama wakes and knows his rut is over. He strips the sheets, showers and debates how to sneak Hinata's shirt back to him.

Or maybe he'll just keep it for next time.

When he finally emerges from his bedroom later that morning, he finds Hinata at the kitchen table scratching numbers on a notepad. He feels embarrassed that he has just jacked off to Hinata's image and scent for the last three days but justifies it by telling himself Hinata never needs to know.

"Hey," Hinata says, looking up. "You're back. Doing okay?"

"Yeah. I'm good. What are you doing?" Kageyama says as he sits down next to Hinata.

"Oh, well, a customer recommended a family lawyer to me in case Sunada tries to get custody," Hinata begins, and all of the pleasant feelings Kageyama was enjoying due to elevated endorphins go flying out the window at the mention of that piece-of-shit alpha.

"So I called their office to ask about fees, and it's more expensive than I thought. I was doing some calculations, but I don't think I can afford it." Hinata looks distraught. His eyebrows are drawn together, and his mouth is tilted down in the biggest frown Kageyama thinks he's ever seen on the redhead.

"Let me see," Kageyama says and takes the pad to look at the numbers. "That much?" he asks when he sees the figure.

"Yeah."

"I have a little money saved, but not that much. I'm sorry I can't help."

"It's not your responsibility, Kageyama. But thank you. I just… don't know what to do."

Kageyama debates for several seconds whether to bring up this point of contention between them and decides it needs to be said.

"Have you thought any more about contacting your parents? Maybe they could help you with money."

Hinata shakes his head vigorously. "I can't."

"They're your family, whatever mistakes you made. They love you. I'm sure they'd want to talk to you, that they'd want to help you."

"I can't. You don't understand," Hinata says, paling.

"I want to understand, Hinata. So tell me. If you want to."

Kageyama waits patiently, unsure how Hinata will react. Hinata hesitates, looking off into the distance over Kageyama's shoulder. His face is pinched, and it's so uncharacteristic of Hinata that Kageyama regrets pressing him. But then Hinata starts to speak.

"I met Sunada, well, just about two years ago now. I was nineteen, just out of high school, and young and stupid. All I wanted was to go to school to be a pastry chef. But we didn't have the money, so I was waiting tables at a local diner to save up. But school was so expensive, and the tips were not a lot. It was frustrating. I was restless, itching to get away, to start my life.

"One day Sunada came into the diner. He was older than me and just seemed so sophisticated. He was well-dressed, charming and handsome, and he left me big tips. He flirted with me, took an interest in me, and I was flattered.

"We chatted, and he told me he was from Tokyo and in Miyagi on a business trip. He came in a couple of times that week but then was gone for a while. I didn't think much of it until he came into the diner again a month later. He was back in town on business, and he picked up right where he left off. Flirting and complimenting me. Calling me beautiful and alluring, asking what I was doing waiting tables. You know the lines.

"That day, he asked for my phone number, and we started texting constantly. When he wasn't coming to Miyagi for business, he would visit me on weekends. He took me to fancy dinners, showed me off, bought me expensive gifts. He made me feel special, important.

"It was all great as far as I was concerned, though I wanted to see him more often than on weekends. So when he asked me to move to Tokyo with him a few months later, I wanted to go. He told me he would pay for me to go to school, and I thought everything was perfect, that my life was finally going in the right direction. I was flattered and excited, and in love, or so I thought.

"I told my parents about moving to Tokyo with Sunada, but they weren't happy. They didn't like that he was so much older than me. He was twenty-eight, so nine years older. They didn't like how quickly things were moving. They didn't like that they had never met him. They told me not to go, basically told me I was being young and stupid.

"But I wanted to do it so badly, was so convinced everything would be great, that this was my chance to get out of that small town and do everything I ever wanted. I was angry at them, but part of me didn't want to upset them, because they were my parents, y'know?

"When I told Sunada what happened, he told me they didn't want me to be happy, that they were treating me like a child, that they wanted to keep me home with them and prevent me from leaving. He said they were trying to control me, to keep me from being independent and living my life.

"I was stupid, so I believed him. I got angrier, indignant even, and decided right then to go to Tokyo. I packed my suitcases, and Sunada came to pick me up that night. When he pulled up in his car, and I dragged my suitcases to the front door, my parents were obviously angry and upset. They said I was making a mistake, that I wasn't thinking clearly, that I was rushing into this, and it wouldn't turn out well.

"We argued, and I spit back all of the hateful words that Sunada had planted in my brain. They were hurt by my accusations, and things just got really ugly. There was yelling and swearing, and I finally just said I was leaving.

"That's when my dad said, 'If you walk out that door, don't bother coming back because you won't be welcome.' My mom gasped, but she didn't contradict him, didn't try to smooth it over or make him take it back, so I figured she agreed with him. So I walked out.

"That's the last time I saw them. And that's why I can't go back."

Kageyama feels compassion and sympathy and another wave of rage at Sunada. Hinata is clearly devastated as he relates the story, and his face looks so pained that it makes Kageyama's heart hurt for him. Kageyama desperately wants to make things better for him, and he thinks reconciling with his parents is important for Hinata. So he pushes a little.

"They just were angry, I'm sure they didn't mean it. Didn't you ever try to contact them?"

"No. I was still angry at them for a long time. And then when I realized I had made a mistake, when Sunada got mean and abusive, I was too embarrassed to call them, too embarrassed to admit I had been stupid, just like they said."

"You weren't stupid. You were trusting." Kageyama insists. "They didn't try to contact you?"

"I left my phone in Miyagi. Sunada told me to. He said they were paying for it, and I had to make a clean break if I wanted to really be independent. So they couldn't have called because they didn't have my number."

"And they never looked for you in the city?"

Hinata laughs despondently. "Even if they tried, they wouldn’t have found me. I didn't have anything in my name, no apartment, no job, no bills, no bank account. I was a ghost."

Kageyama's anger at Sunada spikes again, and his hands clench reflexively. "Couldn't they have looked up Sunada to find you?"

"I never told them his full name."

Kageyama frowns, "What about social media?"

"Sunada didn't let me have it."

Again, Kageyama feels a burning desire to punch Sunada in the face. God help him if he ever comes face to face with that asshole again. He really will punch him next time.

He forces himself to soften his voice and says, "So they might have tried to contact you, Hinata. They might have wanted to get in touch, to smooth things over. You won't know unless you reach out to them."

"I can't," Hinata says again, and it is starting to annoy Kageyama how Hinata doesn't seem to listen to reason.

"Well, I still think you should try to contact them. It was a long time ago, and they're still your family. They still love you, Hinata."

"Kageyama, I can't just show up pregnant and unmated. It will just prove how stupid I was. I'd be humiliated."

"They're your family, they don't care about that."

"I just cant, Kageyama. Okay? I just can't."

After a moment, Kageyama relents. "Okay," he says, remembering what his grandfather taught him, that people need to accept things in their own time, and you can't force them to act until they're ready. So he'll wait, maybe try again another time. Because he is convinced that Hinata needs his family to be truly happy.

And all Kageyama wants is for Hinata to be happy.

 

///

Chapter 10: Longing

Summary:

Another surprise at the bakery and an ultrasound.

Notes:

Sorry for the short chapter and for being behind on responding to reader comments.

I'm working HARD on my edits for Mine To Protect and it's almost ready for beta readers! (Those are people who read a book before it's published to find errors and suggest improvements to the author.) I'm shooting for a November 1 release, so it's getting close! I'm both excited and nervous (nervicited?)

If you'd like to be a beta reader, please email me at [email protected].

Hinata is relieved that Kageyama drops the conversation about his family. Thinking about his family, what he's done to alienate them, shatters his heart and makes him writhe with guilt and shame.

To banish those painful emotions, Hinata tells Kageyama about what's happened over the last few days. He talks about getting up an hour early to start work and what recipes he was able to bake himself. He related how understanding the customers were when they learned the bakery did not have some items or any of the daily specials. He tells him how exhausted he's been and praises Kageyama for doing it on his own for so long. He fills Kageyama in on the weekend's receipts and informs him he went to the bank and did the food shopping and preparation yesterday.

As Hinata prattles on, he decides there are several things he will not be telling Kageyama.

He will not be admitting that he burned the cheesecake on Saturday. That is between him and the cheesecake and the smoke detector.

He will not divulge that on Sunday night, he finally gave into the urge to look behind the door that Kageyama always kept closed and found what must have been Kageyama's childhood bedroom. It's a tiny room, barely big enough to hold a single bed and a dresser. The walls are painted a soft, baby blue and there are trains painted on the walls. The bedspread is navy blue and again covered with trains. There is a small rug with images of train tracks and a box of wooden trains. He imagined Kageyama's grandfather decorating this room with care for the traumatized little boy, taking something Kageyama clearly loved and trying to make the room a safe haven. Hinata thought of five-year-old Kageyama, with his round face and giant blue eyes, playing with his trains in this room, heartbroken and missing his parents and not understanding how cruel the world could be. The thought stole the breath from Hinata's lungs.

Hinata will also not be letting on that yesterday, frustrated that his shirts barely covered his burgeoning belly anymore, he almost raided Kageyama's laundry for something to wear. Because Kageyama might think he's creepy to want to be close to his scent, and people who are just friends do not steal each other's clothes.

And speaking of creepy, he absolutely, one hundred percent will never disclose what he did on the second night of Kageyama's rut. He had turned off all of the lights before bed so that when he walked through the kitchen, it was only illuminated by the dim glow of streetlamps through the window. But instead of turning to the left to go to his own bedroom, he was drawn to Kageyama's bedroom instead. He tip-toed to the door and gently pressed his ear to it, listening for the sounds of Kageyama in rut and perversely hoping to catch a whiff of his scent.

The scent was faint, and all he heard were soft, barely audible groans. He had backed away, ashamed of himself, but he could not ignore his omega's primal urges to have the alpha behind the door. His omega wanted to break down the barrier between them, to throw himself at the alpha's feet, onto his bed, whatever was necessary to submit to the alpha and make him understand how desperately his omega craved him, his scent, his knot. His pups.

He had reached out to touch his palm to the door, indulging in the fantasy for a moment, but then snatched his hand away. He had hurried back to his room, cursing himself for his lapse in judgment. But unable to sleep, his mind had filled with images of Kageyama in rut. How his eyes would blaze with lust and the urge to dominate. How his voice would be low and gruff. How his big hand would grip Hinata's hips.

How his knot would feel filling him up.

Hinata will never admit to anyone that he touched himself with those images swimming in his brain. That he gripped his cock as he imagined Kageyama's big hands on him. That he came as he pictured Kageyama looming over him, pounding into him, breeding him.

Yeah, that secret was going with him to his grave.

Hinata's brain jerks back to the present. Kageyama is now looking at him from across the kitchen table with one side of his mouth turned up. "You did good, Hinata."

The praise is modest, but coming from Kageyama, it means the world to Hinata. "Thanks. I worked hard. I need to be able to do this on my own."

"I know."

Again, the words are sparse but meaningful. Kageyama's face is soft and Hinata wants to kiss him. But he can't, because, you know, they're just friends. Hinata sighs internally and broaches another subject.

"So, next week I have to go to the doctor for an ultrasound. They're going to check that everything looks okay with the pup." He pauses, suddenly shy and a bit embarrassed. "I'm kind of nervous that they might find something wrong. And I… I don't have anyone else, so I was wondering, will you come with me? For moral support?"

Kageyama's eyebrows shoot up for a second, but then he forces them back down. Hinata can see his cheeks pinken slightly and wonders why Kageyama is embarrassed.

Kageyama answers, "Sure," and the nonchalance of his answer seems incongruous with his reaction, but Hinata figures Kageyama has just never seen an ultrasound or been in a doctor's office surrounded by pregnant people and babies.

"Thanks, Kageyama," Hinata says as a weight lifts from his shoulders. Somehow he feels that if Kageyama is there with him, he will be able to handle whatever the ultrasound finds.

 

+++

 

A few days later, Hinata is sweeping the front of the bakery as they close for the day when the bell over the door rings. Absently, he turns to inform the customer that they are closing when he is faced, close up and personal, with Sunada, his face twisted into a sneer.

"What the fuck did you tell her?"

Hinata backs up a step as his pulse races. "Wh… what?"

"Mio left me! And it's your fault. She said she talked to you, and then she left! You did that just to make my life miserable, didn’t you?"

"Me?? Make YOUR life miserable?" Hinata says incredulously, but Sunada is not listening. He takes another menacing step toward Hinata, rage pouring out of him in waves. "You vindictive little bitch!" he hisses as he grabs Hinata by the wrist.

Hinata is so focused on Sunada, so afraid to take his eyes off him, that he is shocked by what happens next. Kageyama whirls Sunada around and punches him so hard he staggers back several steps and struggles to stay standing. Kageyama advances on him and Sunada backs up reflexively, apparently too smart to take on this clearly enraged alpha.

"What the fuck?" Sunada exclaims, rubbing his jaw.

Kageyama's expression is murderous, and his fists are tightly clenched as he backs Sunada against a wall. "Keep your fucking hands off him. Don't EVER touch him again. Or I swear to god…"

"You assaulted me! I could call the cops on you."

Kageyama pauses, his face filled with derision. "That's how you want to play this, you coward? You assaulted him first. Maybe I should call the cops myself."

Sunada's face scrunches up and he doesn't respond for several seconds.

Kageyama continues, "Don't ever come here again. Don't ever come near him. If you do, I won't worry about a restraining order. I'll take matters into my own hands, and you'll have to look over your shoulder everywhere you go wondering when I'll exact my revenge."

"Are you threatening me? Jesus, you're a fucking lunatic."

Kageyama stares, his face hard and his eyes glinting. "Leave and don't come back. Ever."

"You'll be hearing from my lawyer."

"Whatever. I don't care. Just stay away or you'll regret it."

Sunada casts a final glance at Hinata and walks away. When the bell over the door finally tingles, Kageyama turns to Hinata.

"Are you alright?"

Hinata is trembling, frightened and confused, but his omega is reacting fiercely to the protective alpha display.

Good alpha. Strong alpha.

Want alpha.

"I'm… I'm okay," he manages as the conflicting emotions crowd his brain.

Kageyama comes to him and holds out a hand. Hinata instead steps to Kageyama and crushes himself to his chest, beyond grateful when strong arms come around to embrace him.

"He's never going to leave me alone."

"He will. I'll make him if I have to."

Hinata nods, his face still nestled in Kageyama's chest. He can hear Kageyama's heart thudding, and the sound comforts him. They stay there for several minutes without moving, and slowly Hinata's heart rate slows and his anxiety wanes.

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

There's more, so much more to be said, but Hinata can't speak past the lump in his throat. He wants to tell Kageyama that he loves him, that he wants to be with him, but he's so afraid.

Of rejection, of losing his only friend, the only thing in his life right now that tethers him.

He swallows down his words, crushes down his feelings, and tries to be content with this closeness that will never be more than what it is right now.

 

+++

 

The next week, Hinata takes Kageyama along to his doctor's appointment. Hinata is twenty weeks pregnant and has a cute little baby bump. He knows he's going to need new clothes soon, but he's hesitant to spend money. He needs to save as much as he can for when the baby is born, and if Sunada forces him into a custody battle, he'll need even more cash. More than he knows how to come up with.

But those anxieties will have to wait because today he's having immediate anxiety over his ultrasound. He's terrified that they're going to find something wrong with the pup. He has been praying that everything will be fine, but he just can't manage to set aside his fear until he sees the images and hears the doctor say everything is alright.

As they sit in the waiting room, Hinata fidgets, shifting periodically in his seat. Kageyama watches him and doesn't say anything at first, but when Hinata lets out a deep breath and adjusts his position yet again, Kageyama grabs Hinata's hand and pulls it into his lap.

"Sit still, dumbass. It's going to be okay."

Hinata pouts but tries to stay still. Kageyama's warm hands are comforting, and he tries to even out his breathing.

They are finally called back into the examination room and Hinata is instructed to get onto the exam table, while Kageyama stands next to him. The technician readies the machine as Hinata situates himself and pulls his shirt up to reveal his tummy.

He admits to the technician, "I'm really nervous about this. I mean, that something will be wrong with my baby."

"Oh," the woman responds with a laugh. "It is possible, but it's pretty rare with young, healthy couples like the two of you."

Hinata's eyes snap to Kageyama, who's looking at him with wide eyes and red cheeks. "I'm…" Kageyama starts to protest, "I'm not…" Hinata bites back a smile at the flustered look on his friend's face.

"So," the technician says, squirting the gel onto Hinata's stomach. "Let's take a look."

Hinata's face immediately pinches, and he reaches for Kageyama's hand. Kageyama envelops Hinata's small hand in his own, and Hinata immediately feels grounded. He takes in a deep breath and glances at Kageyama, who nods at him reassuringly.

Turning to the screen, he watches the grainy black-and-white image, looking for something recognizable on the grainy 2D image. He wanted the 3D, but it was more expensive.

"Ah, there they are," the woman says, as a face becomes clear on the screen. "There's your baby!" Hinata stares in disbelief at the tiny nose and round cheeks. He's overcome with joy and in love already with this tiny human.

He looks over at Kageyama, who's staring at the image, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted. When Kageyama meets Hinata's eyes, he looks awestruck. Hinata smiles and squeezes his hand, again inordinately grateful for Kageyama's presence.

"Does everything look okay?" Hinata asks the technician.

"I have to check a bunch of things, so it will take a bit." Hinata waits impatiently as she moves the wand over his stomach, stopping periodically to freeze the image and take pictures, then clicking on parts of the baby's body. Hinata watches as she measures the size of the baby's head, the bones in their legs, and the diameter of their stomach. He's content to just stare at the screen, his mind chanting, That's my baby, over and over.

She finishes her scans and whispers, "I'm not supposed to say anything, but looks okay to me. The doctor will read the scans and come talk to you."

Hinata lets out a deep breath. "Okay, thank you," he says with a soft smile.

"Now, the last thing is if you want to know the baby's sex, I can tell you."

"You saw it?" Hinata asks. He hadn't seen anything that looked like it indicated if it was a boy or girl.

"Yes. Do you want to know?"

"I… I don’t know," Hinata stammers. He had been so worried about the baby's health, he hadn't considered that he could find out the sex if he wanted. He looks over to Kageyama.

"What do you think?"

Kageyama frowns his confused frown. "Me?"

"Yes, you. Who else am I talking to?"

"I'm not the father, Hinata. My opinion doesn't matter."

Hinata's heart squeezes at Kageyama's words. His voice is soft when he says, "I know. But if you were. The father. Would you want to know?"

The expression on Kageyama's face is something Hinata has never seen before, and he is baffled at what it means. He has gotten pretty good at reading Kageyama over the last few months, but he can't decipher this new look.

Finally, Kageyama answers, "Again, it's not up to me. But if it were my child, I don't think I'd want to know. I think I'd want to be surprised." He holds Hinata's gaze for a few seconds, and Hinata weighs his words, again thinking how badly he wishes Kageyama were his pup's sire.

Then Hinata answers the technician, his eyes still glued to Kageyama's. "No. I don't want to know."

"Okay, then," she says as she wipes the gel off his stomach. She hands him several pictures of the baby that she had printed. "The doctor will be with you soon."

After she leaves, Hinata continues to stare at Kageyama for several more seconds. He can't help but get lost in his fantasy again, can't help but imagine having a family with Kageyama. How happy and content his children would be. How cared for and loved.

But it's just a fantasy.

He presses his lips into a tight line and finally breaks eye contact, the emotional high from the images of the pup now tempered by his longing for something he can't have.

The doctor enters a few minutes later and updates them on the results. She assures them everything looks fine, that there are no apparent problems with the pup's development. The baby is measuring a little bit small for their gestational age, but well within the normal range. She asks if they have any questions, and when they say no, she finishes up the appointment. Hinata rises from the exam table, and reluctantly lets go of Kageyama's hand.

When they get home, Hinata pins the black-and-white pictures to the refrigerator with a magnet and stares at the images smiling. His pup. That's his pup, and in twenty weeks, that pup will be here, and he will have to take care of them. He is both thrilled and terrified.

He thinks of how he promised Kageyama he would move out before the pup was born and feels instant panic. He doesn't know he can do this alone. He doesn't want to do it alone.

If only he could stay here with Kageyama, to have his help with the pup, Hinata is sure he could handle it then. Kageyama would help him, Hinata was sure. And Kageyama just generally made his life easier, eased his burdens, soothed his heart.

With Kageyama by his side, he felt like he could take anything on, including raising a pup.

With Kageyama by his side, he felt invincible.

But how could he ask a not-yet twenty-one-year-old man to give up everything for him? To put his life on hold to help Hinata care for his pup, a pup that is not Kageyama's?

It is too cruel to consider, too much of a sacrifice to ask of a friend and coworker. So Hinata shoves down the urge to ask for Kageyama's help, pushes down his feelings of unrequited love, and steels himself. He will have to do things on his own.

He brought this on himself. A string of ill-advised, stupid decisions, along with some bad luck, brought him to this point in time, in this situation. Alone.

He is an adult, so he'll take responsibility, move forward as best he can.

He can wish all he wants for something more from his friend, but he can never ask for such a sacrifice.

He loves Kageyama too much to burden him.

 

///

 

Notes:

I knew everyone wanted Kageyama to punch Sunada (including Kageyama himself), so I delivered. Hope you liked it. :)

Chapter 11: Gifts

Summary:

It's Kageyama's birthday

Notes:

I'm continuing edits for Mine To Protect and it's almost ready for beta readers! (Those are people who read a book before it's published to find errors and suggest improvements to the author.) If you'd like to be a beta reader, please email me at [email protected] or fill out this form https://forms.gle/cKN6BXqRPcwAkb8f7
Beta readers will be sent the manuscript in early September. Release is scheduled for November 1.

Kageyama stands in their apartment's kitchen, staring at the ultrasound photos of Hinata's pup. They're black and white and blurry, but there's an unmistakable face in one image that Kageyama swears looks like Hinata. It gives him hope that the child will look like his mother, which would be a blessing. He doesn't think Hinata would cope too well if the child looked like that asshole, Sunada.

And he probably wouldn't either.

Hinata emerges from his room carrying a basket of laundry, and Kageyama burns with embarrassment as he remembers stealing Hinata's dirty clothes during his rut. He managed to sneak Hinata's shirt back into the laundry after Hinata mentioned he couldn't find it. Otherwise, he might have kept it.

Hinata says as he passes, "Just let me throw this load in, and then we'll watch Bake Squad."

Kageyama nods and retrieves the popcorn from the microwave. He dumps it in a bowl and settles onto the sofa, calling up the show on the television. When Hinata finally joins him in the living room, Kageyama notices he's walking slower than usual. It's unusual for the normally energetic redhead.

"You okay?" Kageyama asks, now concerned for Hinata's health. He hopes the omega isn't getting sick.

"Yeah, I am tired. It feels like the baby is just sucking my energy, y'know?"

"Go to bed early tonight, then."

"I will Worry-Yama."

Hinata plops down next to Kageyama, and Kageyama is immediately comforted by the omega's familiar, sweet cinnamon scent. He relaxes and calls up the show, and they start watching.

Kageyama notices every time their hands brush in the bowl of popcorn because he is a whipped, pathetic fool. He wishes he could hold Hinata's hand while they watch, wishes that touches between them were allowed, welcomed even.

He's so fucked.

They finish the popcorn and let the next episode begin. Hinata provides a running commentary while they watch, talking about everything from the ingredients to what the people are wearing. Kageyama just listens, grunts when appropriate, and occasionally argues with Hinata's declarations, which leads to bickering without any heat behind it. They compete about who will correctly predict the winner, and Hinata wins this one.

"Ha, told you she would win! That brings my total up to 79 wins to your 82."

"Whatever, dumbass," Kageyama retorts, huffy at losing this one when he was sure the man's creation would be the winner this time.

Hinata looks like he's about to gloat some more when he suddenly exclaims, "Oh!"

Kageyama is startled and instantly on high alert. "What's wrong?"

"The pup kicked! It was a big one."

Kageyama's eyes are instantly drawn to Hinata's baby bump, and Hinata must sense what Kageyama is thinking because he pulls up his shirt to reveal his slightly protruding stomach and puts his hand on the side.

"It was right here. Want to see if you can feel it?"

Kageyama blushes, slightly embarrassed that Hinata remembers he wanted to feel the baby before and guesses he will want to again. But he does want to feel it, and he won't give up this chance. A bit reluctantly, Kageyama places his palm over the spot Hinata indicated. Hinata's skin is warm to the touch, and Kageyama is surprised at how firm Hinata's belly is.

They wait in silence for a while, and then Kageyama feels a quiver under his hand, no more than a flutter, but definitely a movement. His eyes snap to Hinata's.

"Was that… was that them?" His voice is hushed, and he feels awestruck.

Hinata's face is soft and sweet, and he's got a lazy smile on his face that makes Kageyama want to kiss him.

"Yeah, that was them."

"I could barely feel it, but it was there. Is that what it feels like to you?"

"Yeah, it's subtle, like a tiny wave in my stomach. It's weird but reassuring. Like, I know they're in there moving."

Kageyama is blown away that he just felt evidence of the life growing inside his friend. It seems so much more real now, when before it was just theoretical. Now that he has tangible evidence of the pup, has felt it with his own hands, he feels overwhelmed with an unnamed emotion, some combination of awe and longing and jealousy that the pup Hinata carries is not his.

It always comes back to that.

Kageyama clears his throat, suddenly aware that it feels closed and constricted. He reluctantly removes his hand and says, "I guess feeling them, seeing the pictures too, makes it more real."

Hinata's smile falls from his face and his eyebrows draw together slightly as he tugs his shirt back down. "Yeah. It's a little too real, you know? Like, I'm worried about what will happen when they're born. I was looking at this list of baby items that new parents need, and Kageyama, it was so long. There are so many things I'll need besides the crib and clothes and bottles, and I don't know if I'll have the money to buy everything. I feel anxious when I think about it. And I'm going to need new clothes for myself soon too. Mine don't fit well anymore and that is going to cost money too. I guess I didn't think about that before. Maybe I can get stuff at a thrift store, and that will help some."

Hinata pauses, and Kageyama hates the worry on his face, hates how anxious he looks. Kageyama wants to fix it for him, to do something to relieve Hinata's burden.

"I have some clothes that should fit you. You can borrow some if you want."

Hinata's eyes light up, and it reminds Kageyama of a puppy about to get a treat. "You'd let me borrow your clothes?"

Kageyama is simultaneously confused and pleased with Hinata's response. The idea of Hinata wearing his clothes provokes a possessive response that makes him and his alpha happy and content. But he's confused that Hinata is so excited about saving the few dollars that clothes would cost at a thrift store.

"Sure. I have some things I don't really wear, so I won't miss them if you borrow them."

Hinata's smile is back, and Kageyama feels strangely satisfied with himself. "Thanks, Kageyama. I would appreciate that."

"We'll look through my drawers tomorrow after work if you want."

"That would be great, Kageyama. Thanks."

That settled, Hinata lets out a yawn, and as they stream the next episode, he lays his head down on Kageyama's lap without preamble. Kageyama's brain nearly short circuits, but Hinata seems unphased and unaware of Kageyama's crisis. He keeps talking as if they were still sitting side by side, and eventually Kageyama relaxes and puts his hand on the bare skin of Hinata's arm, appreciating the warmth, but not daring to caress the skin like he wants to.

From here, Kageyama can clearly see the scent glands on Hinata's neck. They're exposed to him, practically begging to be licked.

And bitten.

Kageyama lets himself indulge in that fantasy for about two nanoseconds before he pushes those thoughts away and tries to concentrate on Hinata's chatter.

After a while, though, Hinata's words become less frequent and eventually stop. Kageyama wonders if he's fallen asleep, but can't see his face, so he waits a while until he's certain. He lets the episode end and turns off the television, wondering how to handle the situation. Should he wake Hinata up? Let him sleep for a while?

As Kageyama debates, Hinata turns over in his sleep so that his face is now inches from Kageyama's crotch.

Kageyama stops breathing. Hinata is surely asleep now, he's certain. His face is relaxed, his eyes closed, his breathing even.

But did he mention Hinata's face is inches from his dick?

Fucking hell.

Kageyama battles to restrain his dirty, sex-starved brain from going THERE and focuses instead on Hinata's sleeping face. It's a sight he's not had the pleasure to observe so closely and without judgment. Hinata's copper eyelashes cast soft shadows on his cheeks, and his lips look so soft and plump. Emboldened by the situation and not fearing recrimination, Kageyama reaches out a hand and brushes Hinata's bangs from his face, staring at what he believes to be the most beautiful creature he's ever seen.

Emotion overtakes him, and he can't help but whisper to Hinata's sleeping form. "You're beautiful, you know that? Why do you have to be so gorgeous and in my face all the time? It's not fair. You're a dumbass, so I don't know why I love you, but I do. I just wish… I just wish you loved me back."

Kageyama pauses, suddenly aware that his chest is tight and tears are threatening. He has to stop this nonsense. And that's what it is, impossible, foolish nonsense.

He will get over it. He will enjoy this time with Hinata while he has the chance. He tries not to think of the future, because it's too hard, too painful.

Kageyama wakes Hinata with a gentle voice, "Hey, dumbass, wake up and go to bed."

Hinata rouses and takes a second to notice the position he's in. "Wha… Oh. Oh, god, I'm sorry." Hinata's cheeks flush dark pink as he scrambles away from Kageyama, almost falling off the sofa in the process.

"Be careful, idiot. Jesus, you're going to hurt yourself."

"I'm sorry. I'll just go. Sorry. Goodnight, Kageyama. Sorry," Hinata stutters as he bolts from the room.

Kageyama's heart drops. Hinata was so anxious to get away from him, he practically recoiled at the nearness of Kageyama's private area. The reaction tells Kageyama everything he needs to know. Hinata's feelings for him clearly aren't romantic or sexual.

It's a hard pill to swallow, but nothing other than what he expects.

 

+++

 

The next evening after dinner, the pair enters Kageyama's room to see what clothes Hinata can borrow. Kageyama notices that Hinata looks around nervously but isn't sure why. Maybe he doesn't like being surrounded by Kageyama's strong scent. Kageyama snatches several t-shirts from his drawer and tosses them onto the bed.

"Try these. I don't wear them much," he says, then pulls open and searches through a couple more drawers.

When Kageyama finishes, he turns to see Hinata shirtless reaching for one of the garments on the bed. His sweatpants are tucked below his belly, which is unfairly cute. His shoulders, chest and arms are toned and tan, and Kageyama wishes he could touch Hinata, really touch him. All over. He turns away and tries to douse the heat flaring in his gut.

Hinata tries on the first shirt. It's too big in the shoulders but covers his belly admirably. Hinata glances at himself in the mirror while Kageyama tries not to lose his shit over Hinata in his clothes. Kageyama takes a moment to consider whether he'd rather see Hinata half-naked or in Kageyama's clothes, and ultimately decides it's a tie.

Hinata says, "This will work," and shucks off the blue shirt. Then he reaches for a black one and repeats the process, while Kageyama looks on as discreetly as he can manage. Hinata tries on several shirts and decides they all will work to cover his belly.

"These are great, Kageyama. Thanks."

"Do you need pants too?"

Hinata looks thoughtful. "Yeah, I probably will soon."

Kageyama retrieves three pairs of sweatpants from another drawer and tosses them to Hinata. "Here, these are a bit small on me."

Hinata holds them up by the waist. "They're going to be way too long."

"They have elastics at the bottom, so it should be okay."

Shrugging, Hinata peels off his own sweatpants and Kageyama can't seem to breathe. Hinata's thighs are sculpted and strong, and copper hair covers his legs. Kageyama peels his eyes away with maximum effort and tries to swallow despite his mouth feeling like cotton.

He looks back when Hinata starts laughing. Hinata has Kageyama's sweatpants on. The bottoms pool around his ankles and he has the waist pulled up over his belly. He looks ridiculous and adorable, and Kageyama laughs along with him.

When Hinata turns to him with his eyes dancing and his smile wide and contagious, Kageyama is lost again to Hinata's allure.

"Well, this is an interesting look," Hinata says as he chuckles.

"Interesting is not the word I would go with. More like stupid."

Hinata laughs again, and the sound fills the small room. "I guess if I covered it with a shirt, it wouldn't be so bad."

Kageyama shrugs. "And you'll also wear an apron over it at the bakery at least."

"It will be fine, I think. At least I won't have to buy new clothes for a while. Thanks, Kageyama."

"No problem," Kageyama says casually as if this whole situation hasn't got him and his alpha preening with satisfaction. He thinks he can probably survive the next few months just fine if Hinata will be wearing his clothes regularly.

If only they had more than a few months left.

 

+++

 

The next week is Kageyama's twenty-first birthday. He and Miwa have plans to go out to dinner, as is their tradition, but this year, Kageyama wonders if he should ask Hinata.

On one hand, he hates to leave Hinata alone. He's used to spending almost every moment with Hinata at work and at home, and celebrating without him seems strange and uncomfortable. On the other hand, he and Miwa have done this alone the last few birthdays, and he's not sure she'd welcome the intrusion.

In the end, he decides to forego an invitation to Hinata. Instead, he informs him of his plans with Miwa, which Hinata seems fine with.

On the morning of his birthday, Kageyama is greeted by Hinata wishing him a cheery "Happy Birthday" while serving him a large, hardy breakfast that smells like heaven, though not as good as Hinata himself. After work, he comes home and showers, and at around seven o'clock, Miwa knocks on their apartment door to pick him up.

Hinata answers, "Hello, Miwa-san. Nice to see you."

"Hi Hinata. You're looking well. How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good. Just a little tired."

"Kageyama said you had an ultrasound and everything…"

She pauses as Kageyama approaches, now ready to leave. He hugs her in greeting, "Hi, o-nee-chan."

"Happy birthday, Tobio."

"Thanks."

Miwa turns back to Hinata, "So, yeah, Kageyama said everything went okay with the ultrasound. Do you know if it's a girl or boy?"

"Oh, no. We di… I mean, I didn't want to know."

Miwa's eyes dart to Kageyama's and narrow. He feels uncomfortable, like she's studying him under a microscope, so he blurts out, "Okay, well, we should be going. Have a good night, Hinata!"

He rushes Miwa out the door and to her car parked on the street. He opens the driver's door for her and waits for her to get in before closing it and walking to the other side. He uses the time to calm himself. Hinata didn't do anything wrong and there's nothing to whatever Miwa is thinking, so he can just relax. Miwa always likes to make more of situations than there is, anyway, he tells himself.

They arrive at the restaurant, a favorite of their grandfather's. He used to take them there for special occasions, including their birthdays, and they have continued the tradition since his passing. They are seated and order their food before Miwa starts asking him questions.

"So, how's business?"

"Good. Hinata was right. The daily specials are bringing in more customers, plus it's fun for me to try new things."

"I'm glad to hear it. Grandfather would be proud of you, Tobio."

Kageyama feels himself blush and offers Miwa a small smile. He hopes it is true, that Kazuyo is looking down on him, proud of what he's done to grow the business.

He asks Miwa about her work, and she talks for a while about coworkers and clients at the salon. She has some funny stories to tell, and they are laughing by the time their food arrives.

As they begin to eat, Miwa asks about Hinata. "Hinata is looking well. What's going on with his situation? You know, the ex and all?"

"Oh, well. The ex is still an insufferable asshole. He came into the bakery a couple of weeks ago, yelling at Hinata and grabbing him. I sort of… lost my temper."

Miwa eyes him suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

"I sort of punched him. And threatened him."

"Tobio!" Miwa says, her tone admonishing.

"I couldn't help it, Miwa. He had his hands on Hinata. I thought he would hurt him."

"Tobio, please be careful," Miwa says, her face drawn with worry.

"I'll be fine. Sunada is a coward. I don't think he'll come back."

Miwa puts down her chopsticks and levels a pointed glance at Kageyama. "So, you reacted pretty violently to someone touching Hinata. Is there still nothing between you? Because it looks to me like…" She trails off, leaving the rest unsaid, but her meaning is clear.

Kageyama is unsure how to answer. He and Hinata, technically, are just friends and roommates and coworkers. They have never crossed any of those lines.

Except for the cuddling.

And the clothes sharing.

And Kageyama's dirty fantasies.

Things that he will never, ever tell his sister.

"No. We're just…"

Kageyama pauses, at a loss for words. He is not so delusional that he doesn’t realize there is something between them that goes beyond friendship. But how can he explain this thing between them to Miwa when he doesn't understand it himself? They're not lovers, not in a romantic relationship, but their bond goes beyond friendship.

"It's hard to explain. We're partners, I guess. He pushes me to get better, like with the specials, and I push him to get better at the basics. We just work well together at the bakery. We have this groove we get into and when we're together, we just get things done successfully without having to explain or talk about it. And I'm comfortable with him. I don't have to pretend. I can be myself and he accepts me. With him, everything is just… easy."

Miwa studies Kageyama closely for several seconds, her mouth pursed and her eyes steady. Finally, she asks, "So, do you love him?"

Kageyama is sure he's frowning when he answers, "Yes, but Miwa, I don't think he feels the same."

Miwa inhales softly. "Have you asked him? Talked to him about your feelings?"

"I can't. I don't want it to be awkward since we live and work together. Besides, he's already got so much on his mind. He's worried about money and stuff. His clothes don't fit anymore, and he found this list of everything first-time parents need and he doesn't know how he's going to afford it."

"Yeah, my friends have babies, and it is expensive."

"I just don't know how he's going to do it when he moves out. I'm worried about him."

"So he's planning to move out?"

Kageyama frows again and takes a drink of water, refusing to meet Miwa's eyes. " That's the plan."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I don’t know. I'm trying not to think about the future."

Miwa peers at him again, and Kageyama suddenly feels like they're kids again and she's just caught him sneaking cookies while Kazuyo isn't looking. "Please be careful, Tobio. I'm worried about you. I'm worried you're going to get hurt."

"Don't worry about me, Miwa. I'm a big boy. Twenty-one, in fact."

"Yes, I'm aware," she laughs.

When Miwa drops Kageyama back at his apartment after dinner, he enters to find Hinata waiting for him at the kitchen table. He pops out of his chair when he sees Kageyama, and Kageyama is greeted by Hinata's now familiar cinnamon and sugar scent.

Home.

That's what Hinata smells like.

He's so fucked.

"How was dinner?" Hinata asks.

"Good," Kageyama answers, still struggling with his recent epiphany.

"Good. I'm glad you had a nice time with your sister. I, um, have a birthday surprise for you."

Hinata fiddles with his hands, and Kageyama realizes he is nervous. "You didn't need to do that," he assures Hinata.

"I know, but I wanted to. Come sit down."

Kageyama sits at the kitchen table, and Hinata brings over a lovely-looking Japanese chocolate cake covered with powdered sugar. He's put a single candle on top.

"Hinata, you didn't need to do this," Kageyama says, feeling a pleasant warmth that Hinata made his favorite cake on his birthday. The cake smells wonderful, rich and bold, and that combined with Hinata's scent makes Kageyama feel like he's in heaven.

"I know, but I wanted to. It's not every day you turn twenty-one!" Hinata lights the candle and sits down. "Go on," he urges Kageyama. "Make a wish."

Kageyama stares at Hinata for a few seconds. He knows what he wishes for. That Hinata won't move out in a few months, that he will stay here, forever, that he will pledge his love for Kageyama, that the three of them will be a family. He wants that more than anything, and lets himself, just for a moment, believe that a silly wish made while blowing out a candle will bring him the future he covets.

Focusing back on the cake, he makes his wish and blows out the candle. When he looks back to Hinata, the redhead is smiling widely, fondly. "Wait. I have a present for you too!"

Kageyama flushes, silently pleased with Hinata's special treatment. Hinata goes to his room and returns with his hand behind his back. "I found this when I went to the thrift store. I mean, it's not that I would buy you a cheap, secondhand gift, but…"

"It's okay, dumbass. You didn't need to get me anything at all."

"I know but I wanted to. Here."

Hinata holds out his hand and presents his gift to Kageyama. It's a cookbook of French desserts from Le Cordon Bleu. "I thought you could check them out, see if you wanted to make some, or maybe alter some recipes to give it your own flair."

Kageyama's eyes light up. Le Cordon Bleu is a famous cooking school in Paris. He eagerly takes the book and thumbs through, delighted at the colorful pictures and unfamiliar recipes.

He can't help but smile at Hinata's thoughtfulness and his own excitement over the recipes. "Thanks, Hinata. This is amazing."

"You really like it?" Hinata looks a bit unsure, a little uneasy.

"Yeah, I love it. Let's have some cake and then we'll see what looks good in here."

Hinata's megawatt smile is back, and Kageyama feels a comforting warmth spread over him. Again, he thinks back to his wish. It is probably never going to happen, but he vows to enjoy the time he has left with Hinata.

With his partner.

 

///

Notes:

Not sure if I'll be able to update next week, but I'll try!

Chapter 12: Surprises

Summary:

The new year brings some surprises

It's New Year's Day and Hinata is thankful for another day off from work. He's been so tired lately. He feels like he can never get enough sleep, like the pup is sapping every drop of energy. He imagines the baby sucking it out through the umbilical cord, using it like a giant straw. He is now twenty-three weeks along. With only about four months until the baby is due, he knows he needs to start making plans to move out.

But he doesn't want to. He wants to stay with Kageyama. He wants to wear the alpha's clothes and smell his comforting scent and continue to bake and argue and compete with him.

As he drags himself out of bed and shuffles toward the bathroom, he recalls the embarrassing event a couple of weeks ago when he woke up and opened his eyes to Kageyama's crotch right in front of his face. He had been horrified, convinced that Kageyama had been repulsed. The alpha had probably woken him up as soon as he rolled into that position, uncomfortable at the idea of his friend so close to his dick.

Hinata had dashed from the room as fast as his pregnant self could move and closed himself in his room, breathing hard and burning from shame. He had vowed not to get himself into that sort of situation again, to spare Kageyama the discomfort of Hinata being too intimate given they were merely friends.

But despite his mortification, the scene had played out in his brain many times over the last couple of weeks. Now, he frequently revisits a dirty fantasy that involves him waking up in that position and sucking Kageyama's dick.

He's a pervy, unworthy friend, he knows, but he's sex-starved, okay? It's January and he hasn't had any action, besides his hand, since August. It's been a long time, and Kageyama, well, he's stupidly attractive and nearly irresistible.

And Hinata is a very weak, very horny man.

Besides, he's pregnant. It's not like he can go find a casual hookup. Damn it. If only Kageyama wanted some benefits along with their friendship.

As Hinata exists the bathroom, his eyes land on his very hot, very sexy, very eligible best friend who has never once made any sort of move, showed any indication of courting behavior, or spoken any words that suggest he is into Hinata in a way that involves fucking his friend into oblivion.

Hinata sighs.

"What's wrong?" Kageyama asks in his usual concerned manner.

"Nothing," Hinata answers, avoiding Kageyama's gaze. He helps himself to some breakfast and sits next to Kageyama at the kitchen table. "I've been thinking. I need to start looking for apartments. The baby is due April 30, so I should be out of here by April 1 at the latest, maybe earlier."

Kageyama's face pinches, and he doesn't answer right away. He looks back at his cereal and answers, "Yeah. I guess so."

Hinata suspects something is bothering his friend, but he doesn't know what. He's about to ask when Kageyama's phone pings. Kageyama picks it up, reads the text, types a reply, then places the phone back on the table.

"That was Miwa. She's coming over. Says she has something for me."

Hinata's eyes light up. "Is it a late birthday present?"

Kageyama shrugs. "I don't think so."

"Well, what is it?" Hinata asks, burning with curiosity.

"I don't know. We'll see when she gets here, I guess."

"Ugh. You're no fun. Maybe it's something for the bakery. That new mixer you've been wanting?"

"I don’t think she can afford that."

"Maybe she's got a boyfriend she wants to introduce you to."

Kageyama scowls, and that little crease that Hinata thinks is adorable appears between his eyebrows. "I hope not."

"What's wrong? Don't you want your sister to be happy?"

"Of course, dumbass. I just want to make sure she finds someone who's good to her."

"No one's good enough for your sister, huh?"

Kageyama shrugs again. "Whatever."

"Maybe no one is good enough for you either. Is that why you don't date?"

Kageyama's eyes snap to Hinata's before they dart away. "Why do you care if I date or not?"

Hinata feels heat rise into his cheeks. "I don't. I just want you to be happy. I want you to find a good person, just like you want for Miwa."

Kageyama gazes at him, opens his mouth and inhales, but instead of speaking, he snaps his jaw shut and abruptly gets up from the table, causing a loud scuffing sound as the chair legs scrape across the floor.

"I need to get dressed before she gets here."

Kageyama disappears behind his bedroom door, leaving Hinata confused because he thought Kageyama was already dressed.

About thirty minutes later, Hinata is tidying up the living room when Kageyama calls to him, "Miwa is downstairs. She wants me to come down."

"Okay," Hinata responds, a little salty at not being able to see the surprise. He straightens items on the tables and dusts the bookshelves until he hears heavy footsteps pounding on the stairs. He peers through the doorway to find Kageyama carrying something that looks like a gate, followed by Miwa carrying two large shopping bags.

"What's this?" Hinata asks, intrigued.

Kageyama carries the dark wooden object into the living room and leans it against the wall. Miwa sets down the two bags next to it, then turns to Hinata.

"It's for you, Hinata-kun."

"What?"

"It's baby stuff. There's a crib, stroller, car seat, and some blankets and clothes."

Hinata's mouth falls open and he gawks at her.

"I don't… What? Where…?"

Kageyama exits the room, presumably to get another load from the car, as Miwa smiles softly at him.

"Kageyama mentioned that you are worried about buying everything you'll need for your baby. I have several friends who have children. I asked them if there was anything they didn't need anymore, and I'm bringing it to you."

"Miwa-san, you didn't need to… that is so nice of you… I'm speechless," Hinata stammers.

Miwa answers, "It's no trouble at all."

"I suspect it was more trouble than you are letting on, but I really appreciate this! I am worried about money, and this will help a lot. This means so much to me. Thank you."

"I'm happy to help," Miwa answers as Kageyama arrives with another piece of what Hinata now recognizes as a crib. Kageyama sets it next to the other piece and leaves the room again.

"I see kindness runs in your family," Hinata observes with a small smile. "Kageyama said your grandfather was remarkably kind and caring."

Miwa's face softens. "He was. Very much so."

"I'm sure he'd be very proud of you and Kageyama. I'm not sure how I can ever repay you for this, but if there's ever anything I can do to help you, please let me know."

Miwa's face turns serious. "Just… be good to my brother."

Hinata is confused at the request but immediately agrees. "Of course! I'd never hurt him, I promise."

She cocks her head to the side and asks, "And why is that?"

Hinata's heart stutters as his true response knocks around in his brain. Because I love him.

Obviously, he can't tell Miwa this. She probably thinks that Hinata is not good enough for her brother. That he is stupid and careless to be unmated and pregnant at twenty-one, that he will never amount to anything of note, that if he latched onto her brother, Kageyama would suffer, would be weighted down by a responsibility that shouldn't be his at this young age.

And she'd be right.

So Hinata swallows the words that demand to be released from his mouth and says, "If not for Kageyama, I'd be living on the streets. I owe him a lot for giving me a job and a place to live. I would never repay him with anything other than the kindness he has shown me."

Miwa squints her eyes at him, assesses him, then says, "So there's nothing going on between you two?"

Hinata laughs nervously. "Wh… what do you mean?"

"I mean, you spend all your time together, and he's an alpha and you're an omega and… well… If I'm not mistaken, you're wearing his shirt."

Hinata feels his face burn with embarrassment. "Ooh," he says, pretending he hadn't understood the first time. "Oh, no. We're just friends. Yep, just two friendly… friends. And roommates, too I guess, but there's not any… you know… unfriendly stuff going on. Not that sex is unfriendly. Oh god, I don't mean that I think about sex. Why did I say that? No, no sex or sex-like things. Nothing like that. Of course not, because Kageyama's my friend. Haha. Yep. Just friends. Two friends. That's all."

Hinata finally trails off, aware that he sounds like a complete moron. Miwa stares at him, her eyes narrow and probing, and asks, "Do you WANT something to be between you?"

Hinata laughs nervously again. When he answers, his voice is thin and reedy, "Who me? Oh, I, um… well, I…"

Just then, Kageyama comes back into the living room with a stroller in one hand and a car seat in the other. He places them down next to the other things and turns to them.

"That's it."

"Thank you, Tobio," Miwa says as Hinata lets out the biggest breath he's ever held in his lungs. He feels like he's escaped a death sentence, avoided the gallows, dodged a bullet. His brain is clearly still in shock because he apparently can only think in cliches right now.

Miwa turns back to Hinata, looking like she wants to say something further. She hesitates for a moment but then smiles and tells Hinata, "Good luck with your baby, Hinata-kun. And remember what I said."

"Thank you, Miwa-san. Truly. And I will."

Kageyama walks her to the door, then comes back a moment later. Hinata is staring at the pile of baby items, still shocked and warmed at Miwa's gesture.

"That was nice of her," Kageyama says.

"Yes," Hinata agrees. "Extremely kind. I told her it must run in your family."

When Hinata turns to Kageyama, the taller man blushes a soft pink. God he's adorable, Hinata thinks.

"We can store it in the spare room for now. This will save you a lot of money and should help a lot when you get your own place."

Kageyama's eyes meet Hinata's as if silently asking a question, but Hinata doesn't know what it is, doesn't know how to respond. A lump forms in his throat and he fights back tears, whether from Miwa's gift or the idea of leaving Kageyama, Hinata isn't sure.

"Yeah," is all Hinata manages to croak out. "I, um, have to go to the bathroom. I'll move this stuff after."

Hinata speeds from the room to the bathroom and slams the door shut behind him. He leans on the sink, willing away the tears that threaten. It must be pregnancy hormones, he tells himself, knowing it's a lie.

He splashes cool water on his face and dries it, and the act grounds him and chases away his tears. At least for now. He straightens his spine and goes to face his friend once again.

Kageyama is leaning against the back of the sofa with his arms crossed. He's frowning when Hinata reenters the living room.

"Are you okay? Are you sick?"

His obvious concern almost brings back Hinata's tears, but he shakes it off. "I'm fine. Just had to pee. So, um, we should move this into the spare room, you said?"

"Yeah. I'll get the heavy stuff. You just grab the bags."

When he enters the little bedroom with Kageyama, the vibe is different than when he peeked in alone weeks ago. Kageyama leans the crib parts against the dresser, and Hinata places the bags of clothes and blankets on top of the train bedspread. He'll go through them later to see exactly what's in there, but his heart feels too heavy right now.

When Kageyama brings the last of the things into the room and sets them by the wall, he stands up straight, and it strikes Hinata how large he seems in this small space. "So, I guess this was your room when you were young."

Kageyama's eyes skitter around the space. "Yeah. Until I was twelve and Miwa moved out. Then I got the room you sleep in now."

Hinata eyes the bed, then looks back at Kageyama. "You were twelve? In that tiny bed? Did your feet hang over the edge or what?" Hinata jokes.

Kageyama huffs out a small laugh and flashes a brief smile that warms Hinata's heart. "Yeah. Pretty much, by the end anyway." Kageyama scans the room again. "It's not really big enough for a teenager. Only a child. Or a baby."

Their eyes meet, and Hinata's breath hitches. Is Kageyama implying something? Does he want Hinata to stay? Or is he just reading into things, letting wishful thinking cloud his judgment and observational skills?

Hinata clears his throat. "Yeah, I guess it really only works for a child." He would not mention a baby, his baby. He needs to get out of Kageyama's place, out of his life, and let him live again.

Kageyama starts to say something, but Hinata speaks over him and tries to lighten the mood and the heaviness in his heart. "So, I guess little Tobio really liked trains, huh?" he teases.

"Shut up, dumbass. I was six when Kazuyo decorated this room for me." Kageyama looks grumpy but there is no bite to his words.

"You never changed it? Even when you got older?"

Kageyama glances around the room again, and his expression seems far away. "Nah. It was… comforting, I guess, to keep it the same."

Hinata studies him, and again imagines a tiny, round-faced Tobio with sad, blue eyes, missing his parents, struggling to understand why such a tragedy had taken them from him.

"I can tell your grandfather decorated it with love," Hinata says softly.

Crinkles appear around Kageyama's eyes as he remembers with a smile. "Yes. I realized that. Later."

"I'm sorry you lost him. I wish I could have met him."

Kageyama's eyes fix on Hinata's. "Yeah, I wish that too."

That strange sensation washes over Hinata again, that feeling that Kageyama is hinting at something that Hinata can't quite understand. He needs to get out of here, to escape before his resolve disappears.

"Well, I guess that's it," Hinata says much too brightly. He sees Kageyama's face fall but can't deal with it at that moment. He exits the room quickly, throwing a "Thanks, Kageyama," over his shoulder before retreating to the safety of his room. He leans against the door and takes a deep breath.

What the fuck? Is he imagining those little innuendos? Is he going crazy? For real this time?

After a moment, he climbs into bed even though it isn't yet noon. He rubs a hand over his baby bump and tries to recall everything he can about what happened earlier. Everything jumbles in his mind, Miwa's words and Kageyama's strange looks, and he can't quite seem to make sense of anything. He must be too tired, he decides, as he lets his eyes fall closed. He'll worry about it later.

 

 

+++

 

 

It's three days into the new year, and business is going well. With the daily specials growing in popularity and the new décor, the bakery has steadily grown its customer base. With profits on the rise, Kageyama gave Hinata a raise not long ago, and Hinata's spirits are high today. He tries not to think about the confusing emotions from New Year's Day and has started looking for apartments, determined to stay with his original plan.

Hinata wipes down the tables out front as Kageyama cleans the kitchen out back. The bell over the door chimes, and Hinata stiffens, bracing for another visit from Sunada. When he turns, though, he sees Ikeda Mio, the woman who had been with Sunada and then dumped him due to Hinata's interference.

"Ikeda-san, hello. We're about to close."

"I'm sorry for the intrusion," she responds with a bow. "Can I talk to you? Please?"

"Is everything okay?" Hinata asks, gesturing for her to take a seat at the table. He slides into a chair across from her as she says, "Not really."

Kageyama stalks from the back room, clearly on high alert. "What's going on?" he asks gruffly, causing Ikeda to stutter an apology.

"I'm so sorry for the intrusion. But I have news. About Sunada."

Hinata watches Kageyama's face turn sour and feels his own stomach churn. He turns back to Ikeda. "What news? Are you alright? Did he do something to you?"

Ikeda shakes her head. Her mouth is pinched shut and her eyebrows are drawn together in distress.

"Hinata-san, Sunada is dead."

All the air whooshes out of Hinata's lungs. He stares at the woman for several seconds, playing the words back in his head, trying to wrap his brain around their meaning. He can't seem to manage it. He feels Kageyama's hand on his shoulder, squeezing softly, sees Ikeda's pained face, but everything seems far away, surreal.

"What?" he finally manages to say. "Can you say that again?"

Ikeda rushes to explain. "Sunada is dead. They found him on New Year's Day in his apartment. They're doing an autopsy, but they suspect he died from a mixture of alcohol and drugs."

Hinata still stares at her. He hears the words, but they don't seem real.

"How do you know this?" Kageyama asks.

Ikeda looks up at Kageyama looming over both of them. She swallows hard as if intimidated by him. "The police called me. I guess I was still listed as an emergency contact on his phone."

The silence and stillness in the bakery are eerie. No one speaks, no one moves.

Hinata can feel Kageyama's hand on his back now, steadying him. He's still trying to process the news. His scent is souring due to distress and confusion. "He's dead? Really?"

"Yes. I know this must be a shock."

"I can't believe it," Hinata says softly, almost to himself.

"You can check the death notices if you don't believe me," Ikeda offers.

"It's not that. It's just…" Hinata trails off. Hinata pauses, aware now that Kageyama is releasing calming pheromones to help comfort him. He feels the tightness in his chest abate slightly.

"I know this is a shock, Hinata. But at least he won't come for your pup now. At least you don’t have to worry about that." Kageyama's words are meant to soothe him, Hinata knows, but instead, his brain latches onto a single thought.

"My pup has no father," Hinata mumbles dumbly as he stares at the tabletop.

"Your pup is better off without a father than with Sunada," Kageyama argues.

Hinata nods but still struggles to process the news.

"I'm sorry for shocking you like this. I thought you'd want to know," Ikeda says kindly.

"Thank you," Kageyama answers for Hinata. "We appreciate it."

Ikeda stands. "I'll be going now. Hinata-san, I truly wish you the best with your pup. Be well."

"Thank you, Ikeda-san," Hinata murmurs.

Kageyama's hand disappears from Hinata's back, and Hinata immediately feels unsettled. Kageyama walks Ikeda to the door and locks it behind her. When he returns, he squats down in front of Hinata and takes his hands.

"Hinata? Are you okay?"

Kageyama's nearness and his coffee scent are soothing now, and Hinata tries to concentrate on that to center himself.

Hinata meets Kageyama's blue eyes, sees the concern there, and melts a little again. "My pup has no father," he repeats, aware that he is fixated on this thought for no good reason.

"It's okay. They're better off. You are the only parent they'll need. You'll take care of them, be good to them. They'll never have to know what an asshole their father was."

The words wash over Hinata, appealing to his logic. "You're right. I can tell them he died, and I won't have to explain why I left him."

"Yes, exactly."

Hinata has a sudden, horrible thought. "What if they ask what he was like, though? What do I say?"

Kageyama squeezes his hands. "That won't be for a long time, Hinata. You'll have time to figure it out."

"He's dead," Hinata repeats, feeling like he needs to hear it, to say it for it to be real.

"He's dead. He won't ever hurt you again, nor anyone else. This is no loss to the world, Hinata."

Hinata nods. "This is no loss to the world," he repeats numbly. He stares at his hands. He knows he should feel relief, but he's still shocked.

"Hinata?" Kageyama asks gently. "Are you okay? What can I do to help?"

When Hinata looks up, Kageyama's face is soft, his eyes questioning, and Hinata feels another surge of love for this alpha. If only this alpha were his pup's sire. If only he had chosen better, not been such a fool. What if? he wondered.

"I wish things were different," Hinata says, and Kageyama squints in reaction.

"You wish he weren't dead?"

"I don't know. I just… wish things weren't like this. I wish I hadn't been so stupid, made such stupid choices. I wish I wasn't alone. I wish…"

"You're not alone," Kageyama insists, squeezing Hinata's hands tight. "You are not alone."

Kageyama's expression is dead serious, and Hinata nearly sobs with emotion, with gratefulness. How can he not love this man? And why should he keep it inside?

He opens his mouth to declare his love, to give a voice to all the feelings he's been holding inside for months.

But no words come out.

Kageyama looks at him expectedly, his eyes questioning, but Hinata can't manage to speak. If he says what he's thinking, he's sure that Kageyama, out of chivalry or obligation or selfless kindness, would accept his confession regardless of his own feelings.

And Hinata can't do that to him.

He can't trap Kageyama into this life with him. Hinata is the one who made these bad choices. He is the one who ignored his parents' advice, who ran off with an older man, who ended up pregnant and unmated. He is the twenty-one-year-old failure, the soon-to-be broke single parent. He is the one who made this bed, who arrived at this point with his own, foolish choices. He is the one who should struggle with a child, with too many bills and not enough money, with the life he crafted for himself. Not Kageyama.

Kageyama hasn't done anything wrong. He's made all the right choices, done what was expected of him. He doesn't deserve to serve Hinata's sentence with him just because Hinata doesn't want to be lonely.

Hinata closes his mouth again, fighting back tears.

"I'm tired," is all he says.

Kageyama's face instantly morphs into a look of concern. He stands and offers Hinata his hand. "Let's get you upstairs. We can finish the rest in the morning. Come on, you need to relax. I'll make you something to eat."

Hinata peers up, appreciating Kageyama's beautiful face, wishing again that it was all different, that he had met Kageyama before… before he screwed up everything. Maybe they could have been together, maybe they could have built a life.

But Hinata had doomed them long before they even met.

He reaches out his hand and accepts the help as Kageyama pulls him to his feet. He trudges up the stairs, his mind swirling with images of what could have been.

 

///

Notes:

Mine To Protect is almost ready for beta readers! (Those are people who read a book before it's published to find errors and suggest improvements to the author.) If you'd like to be a beta reader, please email me at [email protected] or fill out this form https://forms.gle/cKN6BXqRPcwAkb8f7 Beta readers will be sent the manuscript in the next two weeks.

Not sure if I'll be able to update next week, but I'll try!

Chapter 13: Standards

Summary:

Hinata looks for apartments for him and his pup.

Notes:

Sorry I've missed the last couple of weeks but now Mine To Protect is out to beta readers!

I'm also going to be looking for ARC readers for the book. Those are people who get a free copy of the e-book with the understanding that they will leave a review on Amazon (and Goodreads if they have an account). ARC readers will be sent the book around Oct 15-17 and will be asked to leave a review on or close to November 1 when the book releases.
If you're interested in being an ARC reader, please email me at [email protected] or fill out this form https://forms.gle/A4mKCyfjfhK44G6HA

Thank you all for reading!

Kageyama walks behind Hinata as he trudges up the stairs to their apartment, making sure the omega doesn't fall or stumble. He knows Hinata is upset by the news of Sunada's death because his scent has soured and his demeanor is defeated. But Kageyama can't exactly understand why Hinata is bothered by the news.

Kageyama is thrilled that asshole Sunada is gone. It may make him a bad person, practically celebrating someone's death, but he doesn't care. That monster abused Hinata, so he deserves to rot in hell. And the fact he went there sooner rather than later? Oh well. He brought it on himself with alcohol and drugs.

No, Kageyama doesn't feel one tiny bit bad.

But Hinata does for some reason, and Kageyama wants to be supportive, even if he doesn't understand.

When they reach the apartment, Hinata immediately heads to his room to change clothes, and Kageyama does the same. They come out of their respective rooms at around the same time, and Kageyama again feels that undeniable smugness that Hinata is wearing his clothes.

"I was thinking of cooking, but then I thought, pizza sounds better. Is that okay?"

"Oh, yeah, that's great," Hinata responds without his usual pizza enthusiasm.

"Go sit down and put your feet up. The doctor said to not be on your feet too much or your ankles will swell."

Hinata peers at him strangely for a moment, then agrees. Kageyama can't figure out that look that Hinata sends his way regularly. He feels like he should understand it, or at least be able to decode it, to perceive what Hinata is thinking. But so far, he's been unable to. He guesses he'll keep trying. Or else, maybe ask someday.

He calls into the living room, "Pizza will be here within thirty minutes. I'm going to do some laundry and cleaning. Do you have your feet up?"

"Yes, Bossy-Yama, my feet are up."

Kageyama throws in a load of laundry and folds another load. He puts away the dishes from the strainer and wipes down the refrigerator handles since it's flu season and he doesn't want Hinata to get sick. He can't help but stop and study the ultrasound image once again, cataloging the ways the baby resembles Hinata. He wonders if they'll have red hair and big amber eyes. They'd be so cute, just like their momma.

His phone buzzes to indicate the pizza is almost there, so he's saved from his embarrassing thoughts. He tosses the rag into the laundry and heads down the stairs to meet the delivery person. He comes back up and enters the living room to an adorable sight.

Hinata is asleep on the sofa with his head resting on the back and his feet propped up on the coffee table. He's got one hand on Kageyama's cat, Mikeneko, who is lying on his belly, apparently sleeping as well.

Kageyama's heart does a funny flip-flop at the sight, and he smiles despite himself. He sets the pizza down on the coffee table and takes out his phone. He knows it's creepy to take pictures of someone without their permission, but the image is just too cute not to capture it. He'll show Hinata when he wakes up. He's sure the omega will like it.

"Hey, dumbass. Pizza's here." Something about the scene he walked in on makes him soften his voice, so the nickname doesn't have its usual bite.

Hinata wakes up looking disoriented and cute with his unfocused eyes and confused face. "Whaaa…. ? Ugh, I fell asleep. Oh, hi there, Mikeneko."

Kageyama watches as Hinata runs a hand down the cat's back and she purrs with satisfaction. He fights off the urge to smile again. Once a day is enough.

Hinata gets up to use the bathroom and wash his hands while Kageyama takes a slice out of his pie and turns on the television.

"What do you want to watch?" he asks when Hinata comes back.

"I don't care," Hinata answers, and his response convinces Kageyama he's still feeling off about the whole Sunada thing.

Kageyama puts on Baking Impossible and they begin to eat. Hinata is uncharacteristically quiet for a while. But then someone on the show does something he considers stupid, and he can't keep quiet.

"What an idiot!" Hinata exclaims, and Kageyama is happy that he seems more normal again.

Hinata starts chattering about the show, and Kageyama listens, his anxiety lessoning as Hinata's behavior becomes more familiar and his scent returns to normal.

At one point, Hinata says, "I could do better than these people. I'm going to go on one of these baking shows one day, and I'm going to be the best!"

Kageyama scoffs. "You still burn the cheesecake almost every time."

"Shut up! Japanese cheesecake is hard, okay?"

"Whatever."

"I will, you watch. I'm going to be the greatest baker in all of Tokyo, maybe even Japan. I'll be better than you someday. If we went on this show together, I'd definitely kick your ass."

"You think so? You better get moving then. At least learn to make cheesecake without burning it."

"I will. You'll see," Hinata insists, and Kageyama fights another smile. His Hinata is back.

When they finish eating, Kageyama picks up the pizza boxes to bring them to the kitchen. "What the fuck, Hinata? You ate three more pieces than you usually eat."

"I'm eating for two," Hinata responds defensively.

"A tiny baby does not need three pieces of pizza."

"Hey, I looked it up and the baby is the size of a grapefruit now."

"A grapefruit-sized baby does not need three pieces of pizza! Three pizza slices weigh more than a grapefruit."

"How do you know? Have you ever weighed a grapefruit?"

"Oh, my god. You're ridiculous."

"I was hungry, okay? Stop being mean. You know, being pregnant sucks. You should let me have this."

Kageyama immediately feels guilty. Being pregnant must suck, or at least he imagines. "Fine. Sorry."

"It's fine. Hey, while you're out there, can you get me some ice cream?"

 

+++

 

The next week on their day off, Kageyama comes back from his run to find Hinata sitting at the kitchen table looking at his phone. Hinata scowls at him, presumably because he can't run anymore with his big belly and his awkward gait and his swollen ankles.

"How was your run?" he asks.

"Fine," Kageyama says as he gets a drink of water.

"Good. So, listen. When you're done showering, can you take me to see these apartments? They're not that far away, but it would be a lot of walking, and it's pretty cold."

Kageyama pauses with the glass halfway to his lips. He knew this day was coming. Hinata had said he wanted to move out, but still, Kageyama feels blindsided.

He schools his voice to sound as disinterested as possible. "You're looking so soon?"

Hinata doesn't look up from his phone. "Yeah. I mean, the baby is due at the end of April, so I should be in my new place by March or April first at the latest. It's already January, so I found some places that are for rent in March. I thought I'd start early, you know, take the stress off a bit."

"Oh," Kageyama says. "Yeah. That's perfectly reasonable." The words come out of his mouth, but they're miles away from what he really wants to say.

Kageyama wants to just come out with it, tell Hinata he can stay here, that it will be too hard caring for his pup alone. But he's trying to be a good friend, trying to let Hinata be independent and stand on his own two feet.

But it sucks.

Kageyama doesn't realize at first that Hinata is looking up at him, his eyes wide and his face expectant as he waits for Kageyama's answer.

He's so cute. I want to kiss him.

The thoughts pop into Kageyama's brain, and he immediately blushes, even though Hinata has no clue what he's thinking. He puts down the glass and clears his throat, "Oh, um, yeah. I'll drive you. No problem. Give me, like, thirty minutes."

"Great. Thanks, Kageyama."

Kageyama strips and enters the shower, distracted as he washes. He knew Hinata would move out, so he should have prepared himself. He's been living in some fantasy world, pretending that this arrangement they have would last. He's stupid, he admits as he turns off the shower and dries himself off. Of course Hinata would want his independence, would want his own place.

Plus, it's not like he and Hinata have anything between them. They're friends and coworkers who knew the living arrangement was temporary until Hinata got on his feet. Well, now he's on his feet, or nearly, and Kageyama just needs to suck it up.

As he dresses, he realizes his alpha is not on board with this idea.

My omega. My pack. Protect.

"Shut up," he tells his alpha just before entering the kitchen again.

Hinata is staring at him with eyebrows drawn together. "Who were you talking to?"

"What?"

"I heard your voice when you were in your bedroom. Who were you talking to?"

"No one," Kageyama lies. "You imagined it."

Hinata appears ready to throw back an insult but must think better of it since Kageyama is doing him a favor giving him a ride. They get into the car and Hinata gives Kageyama directions to the first apartment.

Kageyama pulls up to the first house, a four-story apartment building in a questionable neighborhood. Hinata seems excited, so he doesn't mention that the area seems run-down, and he's trying not to judge anyway. Hinata finds the manager on the first floor and the man takes him to the empty apartment.

The first thing Kageyama notices when they enter is that the apartment smells like cigarette smoke. It's a cute two-bedroom place, not big, but with a decent kitchen and natural light. But for him, the smoke is a deal-breaker.

He asks the manager, "Are you going to have this place cleaned out before it's rented? The smell of smoke is really bad."

The manager shrugs. "Dunno."

Kageyama stares at him, waiting for more, but the man doesn't offer any other information. Kageyama's gaze slides to Hinata, and Hinata chirps, "Okay, well, thank you for showing the place to me. I'll let you know what I decide."

When they're back in the car, Kageyama immediately says, "You can't take that apartment. You can't have the baby in a place that smells like cigarette smoke."

"Agreed," Hinata says. "It was strong. Too bad though. It was kind of a cute place."

Hinata directs Kageyama to the second apartment. It's a three-family home, so no elevator. The neighborhood is not any better than the last, in Kageyama's opinion. Hinata finds the landlord on the first floor, and the old woman gives him the keys, saying it's too hard for her to make it up the stairs. They trudge up two flights to the third-floor apartment.

Kageyama comments, "Hinata, how are you going to walk up all these stairs carrying a baby and a bag or stroller or groceries? This is unrealistic."

Hinata is frowning a bit, but says, "Let's just see what it looks like inside."

The apartment is clearly dated, with yellowing paint, faded wallpaper and ancient appliances. It has two bedrooms, one even tinier than the one at Kageyama's place. But one thing catches Kageyama's attention.

"Hinata, look at this."

Hinata comes to the place in the kitchen where Kageyama is standing. "The linoleum is coming up from the floor. These edges are jagged. You could trip, or the baby could hurt themselves when they start crawling. You can't stay here. It's too dangerous."

Hinata looks thoughtful. "It's not that bad. Maybe I could fix it."

"No, I don't think so. Plus that's the landlord's responsibility, not yours. I don't think they keep this place up very well, and besides, those stairs are going to be awful with a baby."

"I guess you're right," Hinata concedes.

They get back into the car and Hinata gives Kageyama directions to the third apartment building. As they get closer, the houses become more dilapidated and the weeds grow higher. Hinata tells Kageyama they've arrived, and there is a group of about six men, maybe teens, maybe young twenties, hanging out on the steps of the house next door, smoking something Kageyama is sure is illegal. They have dirty clothes and look unkempt like they haven't showered in days.

He keeps driving.

"Kageyama! That was it! Why didn't you stop?"

"You can't live there," he declares, aware that he sounds like a tyrant dictator. But there is no way he's letting his… letting Hinata live in that horrible place.

"Why not?" Hinata cries, clearly upset.

"Those men, that neighborhood. Just no. It's not safe for you and your pup, Hinata."

Hinata clamps his mouth shut and crosses his arms. On the way home, he's sullen and doesn't speak.

The next week on their day off, they repeat the process. This time, Hinata has four apartments he asks Kageyama to drive them to.

The first one Hinata likes. It's got two decent-sized bedrooms, and the neighborhood isn't as bad as the last few, but the apartment itself is in disrepair.

"Hinata, I saw several small holes in the walls where the plaster is visible. You can't live here. The baby might stick their fingers in and get them stuck. Or even eat the plaster. It's not safe for a pup."

The second apartment looks like it has been updated. The appliances are new, and the walls are freshly painted and free of holes. There is no linoleum coming up from the floor. Hinata thinks the two bedrooms would work for them and is excited until Kageyama points out that there is no bathtub, only a shower.

"How are you going to bathe a baby without a bathtub?"

"In the sink, maybe?" Hinata says hopefully. "I've heard of people doing that."

"The baby will outgrow the sink in no time. I don't think this is a good idea."

When they leave the second apartment, Hinata is pouting. The third apartment is a definite no for both of them. Hinata found mold growing in the bathroom, and they hightailed it out of there as quickly as possible.

The fourth place they look at that day is a one-bedroom on the first floor. The neighborhood is decent, and it's not too far from the bakery.

"Kageyama, this one looks nice. It's clean, no holes in the walls, no mold. The appliances look old and the paint is a little dingy, but it's got a bathtub!"

"Where's the second bedroom?" Kageyama asks.

"Oh, well, this one only has one bedroom."

"Where is the baby going to sleep?"

"I figured I could put the crib in my bedroom."

Kageyama frowns. "I don't think that's a good idea. You'll need space for the baby's stuff, not just their crib. Where will you put their clothes and other stuff? It's awfully small. The baby will hardly have any room to move around."

Hinata looks crestfallen. "I guess. But it's not so bad, compared to others."

"Are you going to settle for just something that isn't as bad as other places? Your child needs a decent place to live, Hinata."

"I know that, Kageyama!" Hinata snaps. He heads out of the apartment, and Kageyama pauses, trying to determine if pointing out the obvious was the wrong choice.

No, he can't live here. He needs to find somewhere nice. For the pup. I'm just helping him see that.

He follows Hinata to the car.

One week later, they're at it again, and Hinata seems to be on edge, though Kageyama can't figure out why. Hinata's posture is stiff, and he seems hostile for some reason.

That's strange, Kageyama thinks, but chalks it up to pregnancy hormones. Hinata did say that being pregnant sucks, and looking at all these crappy apartments wouldn't help anyone's mood.

There are only two apartments to look at this week. The first apartment is in a nice building, newly painted, with a big yard in the back.

When they pull up to the house, Kageyama pauses. "Why does this place look familiar?"

Hinata looks over at him. "I don't know."

Kageyama stares at the house for a moment. "I feel like I've seen this on TV. Maybe the news."

"So what?"

Kageyama's eyebrows draw together. "What's the address?"

When Hinata gives it to him, he does an internet search. "I knew it! Someone was murdered in this house."

"What?"

"Yeah. I saw it on the news. Domestic violence. A man killed his wife in the… let me see, yeah, the first-floor apartment."

"That's the apartment I was going to look at."

"You can't live here, Hinata. You can't raise a baby where someone was murdered."

Hinata's face scrunches up. "Kageyama, what does it matter? It's not like someone's going to murder me. It was domestic violence, not a random attack."

"So? You don't want murder memories in the home, do you?"

"Murder memories? What the fuck is that?"

"Like, you'll be rocking the baby or cooking or, even worse, trying to go to sleep and you'll suddenly think, 'someone was murdered here.'"

Hinata rolls his eyes. "I don't think 'murder memories' is a thing, Kageyama."

"What about ghosts?"

"What?"

"There could be ghosts in the apartment. You know, because the woman wasn't ready to die, and she hasn't, you know, moved on."

Hinata looks exasperated. "Moved on where?"

"To the afterlife. Jesus, don't you watch movies or anything?"

"Kageyama, you're being ridiculous. I'm going to look at the 'murder apartment.'"

"I'm staying here."

"Fine!"

"Fine."

Kageyama waits in the car, wondering what the hell is wrong with Hinata. Who wants to live in a murder apartment? What if the ghosts scare him or the baby? It's crazy. Hinata is crazy, that's all he can come up with.

When Hinata gets back in the car, he looks sullen. "Well, how was it?" Kageyama asks.

"It was fine, but thanks to you, all I could think about was ghosts and murder memories."

"So you're not going to take the apartment?"

"Jesus, fuck. No, Kageyama. Just drive me to the next one, will you?"

Hinata seems belligerent now, and Kageyama is clueless. He just saved his friend from ghosts, what the fuck is wrong with that? Friends don't let friends live in haunted apartments. It's, like, a basic rule of friendship.

The second apartment is close to the bakery, on the first floor, has two bedrooms and a tub, and is free of mold and holey walls.

"What do you think?" Hinata asks excitedly.

"There's no yard for the baby to play in. It's all concrete."

Hinata's face falls. "Kageyama, the pup isn't going to be playing outside until they're like, a year old."

"You should bring them out earlier, let them play in the grass and the outdoors. My grandfather told me kids need to play in nature, and that's what I did when I was young."

"Kageyama," Hinata begins. His face is red, and his eyes are sharp.

"What?" Kageyama says, clueless as to why Hinata is flushed. Is it hot in here?

"Never mind," Hinata snaps.

"What?" Kageyama repeats, sensing something is wrong. Hinata's scent is souring, and he's clearly distressed.

Was it something I said?

They get back into the car, and Hinata refuses to speak to him. He crosses his arms and looks out the side window. Kageyama suspects Hinata doesn't want to look at him either, but he doesn't know why.

When they get back to the apartment, Hinata whirls on him. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Kageyama, clueless as he is, asks, "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Hinata practically yells, "You found something wrong with every place I looked at!"

"Every place you looked at had something wrong with it."

"According to you!" Hinata spit out.

"Hinata, don’t you want a nice place for you and your pup?"

Hinata's hands fist at his side and his face is red. His eyes are shooting daggers at Kageyama. "What the fuck, Kageyama! Of course I do! But has it occurred to you that I can't afford nicer places than the ones we've looked at?"

The words cut Kageyama, because no, he'd been a fucking idiot, and that hadn't occurred to him. He doesn't have to pay rent, hasn't ever paid rent, and has no sense of what places cost.

"No. I didn't," he stutters.

Hinata is not done though. His body is taut with tension, and his face is contorted. "Well, good for you not having to worry about money. But some of us do! And those were the only places I could afford that were close enough for me to walk to work!"

"Well, I'm sorry about that. But I don't want you in crappy places, okay? I don't want you and your pup somewhere where you aren't safe."

"Some of those places were fine! You just made up excuses to sabotage it for me! Why? I thought we were friends! You should be happy for me. You should be helping me!"

Kageyama's heart drops. Hinata is so furious he looks like he could explode. And Kageyama did this to him.

Why?

He's silent for a moment, and begins, "I am happy for you. I want to help you. I just… I just don't… Ugh!" he yells in frustration.

"What? Tell me what's going on. Because right now I'm so pissed I could just walk out of here!"

"No, don’t! That's not safe. I…"

"What's this about, Kageyama?" Hinata asks, modulating his voice.

What is this about? Kageyama thinks. He hadn't really realized it, but his desire to keep Hinata and his pup close had colored his judgment about the places he saw. It's true, nothing was right for Hinata, nothing was good enough for Hinata, because it wasn't here. With him. He doesn't want to tell Hinata this, doesn't want to expose himself so painfully. But he owes Hinata an explanation.

He owes Hinata the truth.

Kageyama can't manage to look Hinata in the eye when he admits, "I… I'm sorry. I just… my alpha wants to protect you and your pup. You're part of my pack, and I can't keep you safe if you're far away. You'd be unprotected in those places. I wouldn't be able to keep an eye on you. Look, Hinata, I know you want to do this on your own, to have your independence, but you could stay here with me. It's clean and safe and you won't ever be late to work. And I could help you with the pup. Like, babysit and stuff. And you wouldn't be alone."

Kageyama finally finds the courage to look at Hinata. The omega's head is tilted, and the angry body language has disappeared.

"Kageyama, I was doing this to give you independence, not me," Hinata says, his voice soft.

"What? My independence? What do you mean?"

Hinata slumps into a kitchen chair and runs a hand through his hair. "I was trying to leave so you could get back to your life."

"What does that mean? Back to my life?"

"With me here, you can't have people over and stuff. You can't date. You can't have a social life because I'm here making things awkward."

Kageyama wonders where that idea came from. "Hinata, you've been here months, and I've never had friends over or brought someone home or dated."

"I thought that was because I was here," Hinata responds, his voice sounding even smaller.

Kageyama scoffs lightly. "I never did that before you came either."

"Really? I'm not, you know, interfering with your life?"

Hinata's expression is hopeful, expectant, and Kageyama can't believe they haven't had this talk before. He's so fucking stupid.

"No. I didn't have a social life before. I actually have never had one."

"So, what does that mean for us? Did you mean… are you offering for me to stay? Here? With you? Me and the pup?"

"Yes," Kageyama answers as hope bubbles in his chest. "Is that so hard to believe? I want to help you."

Hinata drops his eyes to his hands fidgeting on top of the table. "But…" he begins, then looks up to meet Kageyama's eyes. "But what if you want to date at some point while I live here? Or," he adds quickly, "If I do, while I live here."

Kageyama can't quite discern why Hinata looks sad as he asks this question. Maybe because he's worried he'd have to move if Kageyama dated someone?

"I don't have any plans to date. And you said you said you didn't want to date while you're pregnant. So that is a few months anyway. Then for the first several months after the baby is born, you probably will be too tired to date, so we're talking a ways in the future."

Hinata is peering at him, and Kageyama is again reminded of a cute, adorable puppy. Is kissing puppies gross? He should not be thinking of kissing puppies.

"So we can cross that bridge when we come to it?" Hinata asks.

"I think so. Do you?"

Hinata is quiet for a moment, but then says, "I guess."

The words embolden Kageyama. "We could fix up the spare room and put the crib in there."

"What about the bed?"

"I'll put it down in the back room of the bakery. You can take naps down there instead of having to come upstairs."

"I don't need naps," Hinata insists.

Kageyama scoffs. "Who are you kidding? I know you're always exhausted. I can tell in your face, in how slowly you move sometimes." 

That funny look is back on Hinata's face. If only Kageyama knew what it meant. Why did he have to be so bad at reading people? So bad at social cues?

"Okay then," Hinata says after a small pause.

"Yeah?" Kageyama asks as something like joy fills his chest.

"Yeah. Thank you, Kageyama. It means a lot to me. Really."

"Of course. We're friends. I want to help."

Hinata's face immediately turns sour, and Kageyama again, fails to understand why.

 

+++

 

The next week on their day off, they decide to take the bed down to the bakery to start making room for Hinata's baby's things. Kageyama refuses to let Hinata help with any lifting because he's almost six months along now and it's not safe for the pup.

Kageyama takes the bedframe apart and takes those pieces downstairs without incident, but the mattress is another matter. It is only a single bed, so the mattress isn't large, but it's still awkward for one person to maneuver it through doors and down the stairs.

Kageyama manages to steer the mattress out of the small room and to the door, but as he starts to move down the stairs, the top of the mattress hits the ceiling and topples on top of him. He falls onto his back, the stairs digging into his shoulders and hips, and he can hear Hinata laughing hysterically.

"Oh, my god," Hinata sputters out when he manages to stop laughing for a moment. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," Kageyama answers, knowing the mattress muffles the sound of his voice.

Hinata is guffawing now, and Kageyama is annoyed. He tries to get up, but the mattress is pretty heavy, and he has no leverage. He falls back down.

More laughing.

"Do you need help?" Hinata manages to say between giggles.

"No, I'm fine!" Kageyama growls, trying to preserve some of his alpha's dignity. "Besides, you can't lift anything or strain yourself. I'll get it."

He tries again, and the mattress falls on top of him again.

"Are you sure you don't need my help?" Hinata teases.

"I'm fine!" Kageyama says, realizing this is patently false as he lies there flattened by bedding. "Go upstairs and leave me alone!"

"I need to know if I should call an ambulance," Hinata says before falling into another fit of laughter.

"Hinata, I swear to god, just shut up."

Kageyama takes a deep breath and tries to rise again. With some very awkward bumps to his knees and another near fall, he manages to get to his feet. Breathing more heavily than he cares to admit, Kageyama gets a good grip on the mattress and starts down the stairs again.

He makes it halfway, but the mattress gets caught as he tries to turn the corner at the landing where the stairs make a ninety-degree turn.

"Fucking hell," he curses when he realizes he's stuck.

He can hear Hinata laughing again. He's come down a few stairs, presumably to get a front-row seat to Kageyama's humiliation.

"You should pivot."

"What?"

"You know, pivot!"

Kageyama glares at him. "Are you fucking quoting 'Friends' to me right now?"

Hinata doubles over with laughter. "Pivot! Pivot!" he yells, imitating Ross, and Kageyama wants to punch him, and maybe sort of kiss him.

"You're a menace."

"At least I'm not some idiot who can't pivot."

"You're fucking lucky I'm stuck right now or I'd…

Hinata taunts him some more. "Or what? You wouldn't hurt me. Not when I'm pregnant."

"Well, you better be careful. Maybe I'll wait until after the pup is born and suffocate you with a pillow in your sleep."

"Yeah, sure. I'm so scared."

Kageyama ignores Hinata and inspects where the mattress is stuck. He is able to back it up enough to free it, and then pivot (god help him, hopefully Hinata doesn't realize this) until he can safely get the mattress past the landing and down the stairs.

When he comes back up, he is sweating, and Hinata is still laughing.

"Don't say a fucking word, Hinata, I swear…"

Hinata does his best to school his face. "I'm done. For now."

Kageyama sends him a warning glare, and they both go back to the tiny bedroom.

"We'll leave the dresser for the baby's clothes, but we should probably paint the room before we put the crib together. What color do you want?"

Hinata looks wistfully around the room. "Leave it," he says.

"What?"

"Leave it like this. It's cute."

"It's blue."

"I can see that. I learned my colors in pre-school."

"What if it's a girl?"

"Are you seriously gender stereotyping my child before they're even born?"

"What the fuck does that even mean?"

Hinata laughs at him again, but this time it's warm and not mocking. "Just keep the blue and the trains. And the rug too. I like it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

They work together to assemble the crib, and within an hour, it stands where the single bed used to be. Hinata leaves to wash up, and Kageyama pauses for a moment to take in the room. It seems strange without the bed that had been there for, what, sixteen years? But the crib is nice, and the room feels hopeful again.

And Kageyama feels hopeful too. Hinata will stay with him, at least for a while, and he can help him with the baby when they come. And he won't have to worry about Hinata's safety, about him being lonely or alone and overwhelmed. He can keep an eye on him and the pup this way, and that makes his alpha very satisfied.

He knows it's not forever, but it's enough for now.

 

///

 

Notes:

Did you all catch the "Don't You Want Me" baby-size reference? 😊

@TallulahVikings – thanks for reminding me about the cat I always forget!

Also, can you tell I just did not take this chapter too seriously? Poor Kageyama. He's so clueless. "Poor pretty talented Kageyama is clueless." I wrote a fic about that once.

Chapter 14: Breakdown

Summary:

Hinata becomes overwhelmed with impending parenthood.

Hinata is putting away the freshly laundered baby clothes that Miwa gave him. He is alone in the apartment since Kageyama is out shopping for groceries. Hinata used to enjoy going with him, but nowadays he gets too tired walking around the store. He is twenty-eight weeks along, and less than three months remain until the baby is due. His belly is getting bigger and more uncomfortable each day, his ankles are swelling, and his back hurts more often than not.

He folds the tiny baby clothes and places them neatly in the dresser that Kageyama used as a child. He counts how many he has of each item, onesies, pajamas, tiny undershirts, then consults the list he's compiled from various sources that tells him what he will need for his baby. There are so many items left unchecked so far that it makes him a bit anxious, but now that he has some of the clothing items, he wants to see how many of each clothing item he should have.

It doesn't say.

How many does he need? Should he buy more undershirts? Does he need more onesies? It doesn't say. Why doesn't it say?

All at once, emotions overwhelm him. If he can't even figure out what items to buy, how is he going to raise a tiny, helpless pup on his own? How will he know what the baby needs, how to take care of them and keep them safe and healthy?

He's convinced he won't know, that he will somehow screw up the child, that he will be a miserable failure as a parent.

His sobs come, strong and deep, and tears overflow.

He has no idea what he's going to do. He's terrified he will not be able to care for his child. He's already a failure because he doesn't even know what to buy, and it's going to hurt like hell when he gives birth, and that terrifies him as well. And he doesn't even have a birth plan! The doctor said he needs one and he doesn't have it yet.

He is a failure. He will be a failure.

He wants his mom. She would know what to do, what to say. She could help him with all these confusing emotions and all the things he doesn't know.

He drops to the floor on his knees and cries even harder as despair overtakes him and combines with fear and regret and longing for his family that he misses so dearly.

It's too much. It's all too much.

He's overwhelmed now, lying on his side on the floor with his arm over his face. He doesn't know how long he lies there before he hears Kageyama's voice.

"Hinata! Are you alright? What happened? Are you hurt? Is it the baby?"

Hinata shakes his head without removing the arm that covers his face. "I'm not hurt. The baby's fine."

He thinks he hears Kageyama let out a relieved breath. "Then what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Hinata shakes his head again, unwilling or unable to admit his failures to his friend, to this alpha that he wants so badly to be his. An alpha wants a competent, nurturing omega, not a miserably inept one. Not a loser like Hinata. How can he admit to this amazing alpha how horrible he is doing, how badly he will do?

He can't.

He lets out another sob.

"Hinata, you're scaring me. What's wrong? Talk to me."

Kageyama's voice is soft, and it makes Hinata feel worse. He is so inadequate as an omega.

When he doesn't answer, Kageyama gently removes the arm from covering Hinata's face. "Hinata? Talk to me, please. I want to help. Let me help."

Hinata slowly opens his eyes. Kageyama's face is drawn into a frown, and his eyebrows are pulled together with concern. Hinata sniffles and awkwardly tries to sit up, able to only when Kageyama helps him. He wipes his face with the back of one hand.

Kageyama sits next to him on the floor. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Hinata hangs his head low. "I… just got a little overwhelmed."

When he doesn't continue, Kageyama prompts him. "About what?"

Hinata looks up into Kageyama's deep blue eyes. Why does he feel like he's failed this alpha when this alpha isn't even his? Doesn't even want to be his. His heart squeezes.

"I just… looked at the list of things I need for the baby, and there's so much, and I… I wanted to know how many of each clothing item I should have for the pup, so I would know if I should buy more or not, you know?"

Kageyama nods encouragingly.

"But it didn't say, and I felt anxious and frustrated and…"

Hinata pauses again and takes a deep breath. "And I just thought, if I can't even figure this out, what am I going to do with a child I'm responsible for? How will I know when they're hungry or sick? How will I keep them safe when I have no clue what I'm doing?"

Kageyama studies him for a minute, looking thoughtful. "I don't know for sure, Hinata, but I don't think any parent knows what they're doing at first."

"I know but Kageyama, if I can't figure out this easy stuff, what am I going to do about the hard stuff?"

"You'll figure it out, Hinata. We'll figure it out. I know you're going to be a great parent."

Hinata shakes his head sharply. "No, I don't think so. Kageyama, honestly, I'm terrified." Hinata meets Kageyama's soft gaze, knowing his eyes are red and puffy and that he looks like shit and that Kageyama can probably see how scared he is.

"I am scared of the birth, of how much it's going to hurt, and I'm scared of what comes after. I don't… I don't think I can do it."

"You can. I believe in you."

"Kageyama, I don't even have a birth plan. The doctor says I need one and I don't have it and it's only twelve weeks before the baby comes."

"What's a birth plan?"

"It's a plan for the birth!" Hinata practically yells, but Kageyama still seems clueless, so he softens his voice. "It's a plan, for how I want the birth to go, what I want to happen, if I want the drugs and stuff."

"Do you? Want the drugs?"

"I'm so scared of the pain, I think yes."

"Okay, so you have a plan."

"Kageyama, it's not that simple. And besides, it's not just that. I…"

Hinata hesitates and turns his head to see Kageyama's face only inches from his. How easy it would be to lean over and kiss him, to confess his love. But what would Kageyama say right now, with a lap full of pitiful and obviously incompetent omega? He'd probably laugh in Hinata's face. Despite his best efforts, tears pool in Hinata's eyes again, and he hiccups.

Kageyama immediately pulls him into a hug and Hinata rests his head on Kageyama's shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. It's going to be alright. We'll figure it out. We'll get through this. All of this."

"I want my mommy," Hinata whines, knowing he sounds like a child who's skinned his knee, but he can't help it. He does. He wants his mother.

"She would know what to do. She could help me, teach me. She would make me feel less scared, and I think with her near, I could do it Kageyama. But she's not. She's not here and I screwed that up!"

Kageyama hugs Hinata a little tighter and rubs comforting circles on his back as Hinata sobs onto his shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay. You know, Hinata…" Kageyama pauses for a few seconds, but then continues, "You could contact your mom. Call her. Tell her about the baby and ask for help. She's your mother. I'm sure she will forgive you, would help you if she knew."

"I can't!" Hinata insists, his face still smushed against Kageyama's shoulders. "I can't, Kageyama. I screwed it up. I hurt them, and they told me not to come back."

"That was two years ago, Hinata. I'm sure they're not angry anymore. You should call them. I think it would be good for you."

"Kageyama, I just can't, okay? Please believe me. I know what I saw and heard, and they won't forgive me for those awful things."

Hinata feels Kageyama's body stiffen and waits for a reply, but none comes. They stay there for a few minutes until the heaviness in Hinata's heart lifts just a little, until Kageyama's presence and calming pheromones soothe Hinata's nerves just enough for him to feel less unhinged.

Kageyama says after a long silence, "Why don't we go shopping to get some of the things on your list? Will that help, do you think? Since you won't be moving out, you won't have to pay those high rents, and you will have that extra money for baby stuff."

"Maybe," Hinata says, then sniffs. "That is true, actually. I hadn't thought of that."

"Well, let's get some of those things off your list, and we'll get them set up. That should make you feel less stressed, don't you think?"

"I guess," Hinata answers, his spirits lifting a bit more at the idea of shopping and the realization that money is not as tight as he thought now that he can stay with Kageyama for a while longer.

"Where's the list?" Kageyama asks.

Hinata hands him the wrinkled paper that's been clutched in his fist. "Here. But it doesn't say how many onesies or pajamas or undershirts to get."

Kageyama studies the list. "Well, let's get some more of those things. It's better to have too many than too few."

"I guess," Hinata agrees.

"Come on," Kageyama says as he stands and offers Hinata a hand. "Miwa always says that shopping makes her feel better. Let's test it."

The comment makes Hinata smile. He accepts the alpha's hand and awkwardly stands up despite his belly getting in the way. He suspects Miwa is right.

 

 

+++

 

Kageyama drives them to a Babies R Us not far from their apartment. The store is large and a bit overwhelming, but Kageyama grabs a cart and Hinata starts looking around, list gripped tightly in his hand.

Hinata's mood starts to improve as he finds some things from the list and puts them into the cart. He finds a thermometer and adorable bath towels and washcloths with rubber duckies on them. He selects a baby shampoo from the shelf, surprised there are so many to choose from. He moves onto the bottle section and gets what he needs there, again perusing through the myriad of choices. Sometimes he asks Kageyama what he thinks, but mostly the alpha stays quiet, trailing along behind him and offering support.

It's so freaking cute.

When they get to the clothes section, Hinata hesitates, overwhelmed by the thousands of items in front of him. He feels a little queasy but decides to start on one side and just work his way to the other.

As he is looking at a table with tiny onesie shirts and matching pants, Kageyama calls his name. "Hey Hinata. Look at these."

Hinata steps over to where Kageyama gestures to footie pajamas. One is pink with strawberries on it, and one is blue with blueberries on it. "Do you like them?"

"They are adorable!" Hinata squeals, falling in love instantly with the cute designs. And Kageyama pointing them out, well that's just adorable too. "Which one should we get? The pink or the blue?" Hinata asks.

"We should get both. We shouldn't uphold gender stereotypes. I looked it up, by the way."

Hinata chuckles, again feeling that warmth for the alpha next to him. He sighs internally.

"Yeah, let's get both. They are really cute."

They continue to make their way around the store, and Hinata's mood lightens each time they select an item. He chooses an adorable blanket with baby giraffes on it. He finds crib sheets that have little blue trains on them and shows them to Kageyama, who blushes as Hinata tosses them into the cart. He tries not to think about the money because Kageyama is right. He'll have a lot more than he figured because he won't have to pay rent at a place of his own, but he still tries to be frugal while making sure he gets what he needs.

He debates baby monitors for some time, checking over the features of each. This one is a little difficult, and he wishes Kageyama were here. He looks around and sees Kageyama coming back toward him, holding a book.

"Hey, where'd you go?"

"I found this book. Check it out. It's got information about the basics of feeding, bathing and changing your baby, plus sections on when to expect for different stages of their development. It talks about fevers and rashes and stuff, and when to call the doctor and when to go to the hospital."

Hinata accepts the book and starts thumbing through it. "It does have a lot of info," he says, then looks up at the alpha. Kageyama looks expectant like he's hoping Hinata will like it.

"Do you think it would help you feel better about all the stuff you don’t know?"

"Yes, I think it will help a lot. Thanks, Kageyama."

"Okay, good," Kageyama replies, and Hinata notices the faint pink stain on his cheeks.

Too cute.

Hinata puts the book in the cart, and they continue to look at baby monitors, debating (okay fine, arguing) over features, but Hinata finally decides on one. They put that into the nearly full cart and continue to the next aisle, where the store has cribs set up. They don't need a crib thanks to Miwa's friend, but Hinata's eye catches something hanging on one of the displays.

It's a mobile with several little trains hanging down. Hinata stops and stares at it for a moment, running his finger over the sweet little engines colored blue, yellow, green and red.

He stares at it wistfully. He's kept it to himself, but he loves the trains because Kageyama loved them as a child. Having them in his baby's nursery somehow ties the child to Kageyama, even though the alpha isn't the baby's sire. Hinata feels the softness of the plush trains with his fingertips as he wishes for about the hundredth time that Kageyama was his pup's father, that they could be together as a family. But again, he reminds himself with acute disappointment, Kageyama has never shown any interest in him beyond friendship, never made a move, never tried to kiss him or ask if he wanted to be kissed.

It is maddening to have what you desperately want, what you need, right in front of you, so close, but unable to touch it. Well, they do touch, but not sexually, not as partners, not as lovers.

Kageyama had said Hinata and his pup were part of his pack, and that had to count for something. But wait, did that mean Kageyama considers Hinata like, a brother or cousin?

Oh my fucking God, Hinata thinks, swaying a bit as the bile suddenly roils in his stomach.

He hears Kageyama speak, and straightens, pulling his hand from the mobile as if he'd been caught doing something illegal.

"That's cute," Kageyama says. "More trains, huh?"

"Oh, yeah. It is really cute. But it's not necessary, and it's a lot of money," Hinata says, pointing to the price tag. "It's not on the list of essentials, and I don't want to spend money that I don't need to. I know the baby is going to be expensive for, well, forever."

"But you like it, don't you?"

"Yeah," Hinata says offering a small smile. "I do. But it's fine. I got some train crib sheets, remember, and those I do know I need."

Kageyama studies him with squinted eyes and Hinata wishes he knew what the alpha was thinking. But then Kageyama said, "Well, I think we've hit the whole store. Anything else you want to look at or are you ready to check out?"

"Ready to check out, I think," Hinata answers, shoving away the melancholy feeling and focusing on how good it feels to have checked things off his list. They go to the cashier and pay, and Hinata balks at the total. But he reminds himself he's got a decent amount of money saved, and that all these things are necessary.

They bring the loot home and get things put away in the nursery. Hinata is exhausted from the shopping and his earlier emotional meltdown, but he goes to bed that night feeling a little calmer.

He still doesn't have a birth plan, and he still misses his mom, but he feels a little less stressed, a little less anxious.

Only twelve weeks to go until the baby is due. In just under three months, he will be a mother. It's crazy and he's scared shitless. But he tells himself people have done this for thousands of years. If they can do it, he can too.

But still, he would feel so much better with his mom at his side.

 

 

+++

 

One night a week after their shopping trip, Hinata can't sleep. He's twenty-nine weeks along, and his growing bump makes it hard to get comfortable in bed. The pup has also started kicking his bladder, which makes him jump and unfortunately keeps him awake. He tosses and turns all night and is horrified when his alarm goes off and he realizes it's time to get up.

He trudges down to the bakery and finds Kageyama pulling a perfect fucking cheesecake out of the oven. Damn it, why can't he get that right? He swears he'll bake a fucking Japanese cheesecake as perfect as Kageyama's one day soon.

Kageyama looks up and says, "You look like shit."

"Thanks," Hinata answers sarcastically, but without any bite.

Kageyama frowns. "Seriously, though, are you feeling okay?"

"No, just tired. I couldn't sleep last night."

Kageyama frowns his concerned frown. "Why not? Are you sick?"

"No, just tired, I promise," Hinata answers, fighting off tears from exhaustion combined with the words of this sweet, considerate alpha.

"Well, rest when you need to today."

The duo starts their usual routine at the bakery. When they open, Hinata waits on customers and helps with the baking and cleaning up, but he drags more and more as the hours pass.

"There's a delivery coming this afternoon," Kageyama reminds him as Hinata returns from the front after helping a customer to the last of Kageyama's daily special. "Will you be able to watch the front while I get the boxes in and inventoried?"

"Sure," Hinata agrees, even though just speaking seems difficult at this point. He makes it through another couple of hours, but by one o'clock or so, he feels ready to collapse. His eyelids droop, and he shuffles his feet because they feel like lead.

Kageyama tells him, "Go lie down and rest for a while."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's quiet right now, and the delivery isn't due until four o'clock. Take a nap."

"Okay, thanks," Hinata agrees, relieved and anxious to lie down.

Hinata drags his feet to the bed that used to be in Kageyama's bedroom and snuggles up with the blanket. The baby is thankfully not moving around too much, and he finds a relatively comfortable position on his side with a pillow under his belly. He just needs to rest for an hour, he tells himself.

He wakes to Kageyama gently squeezing his shoulder. "Hinata, wake up."

"Oh, sorry," he apologizes. He's groggy and a bit disoriented. "I must have conked out. I'll get up and tend the counter so you can get ready for the delivery."

"It's already done. It's past five o'clock. I already closed up."

"What? I slept for four hours?"

"You obviously needed the sleep."

Hinata sits up, suddenly feeling guilty. "Kageyama, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I swear! Did you take care of the delivery all by yourself? And bake and watch the front? That must have been stressful."

"I used to do it all the time before you worked here," Kageyama points out, pouting.

"Business wasn't as busy back then, either," Hinata argues. "You don't need to pay me for those hours. I'm sorry, truly."

"Don't worry about it, dumbass. Let's just go upstairs."

Hinata feels bad that he let Kageyama down, so he tells his friend to relax while he prepares Kageyama's favorite curry dinner. As they eat, Hinata apologizes another three times while Kageyama fills him in on the events of the afternoon. After cleaning up the dishes, they settle on the sofa.

"What do you want to watch?" Kageyama asks.

Hinata considers. "I'm in a mood for a rom-com. How about '13 going on 30.'"

Hinata knows Kageyama won't argue with his choice of movies because he never does. Hinata makes popcorn and they stream the movie. Eventually, fatigue catches up with Hinata again and he leans on Kageyama's shoulder. Halfway through the movie, Hinata is struggling to stay upright, so he lies down on his side with his head on Kageyama's lap. Kageyama's hand absently squeezes Hinata's upper arm.

Hinata watches the movie and can't help but relate to the 'in love with your best friend' aspect of the story. He doesn't want to wake up in ten or twenty years and find that he and Kageyama have drifted apart. He can't stand the thought of it. He has to tell Kageyama how he feels. Now.

"Kageyama, I have to tell you something," Hinata says with conviction as he awkwardly works himself into a sitting position. He looks to Kageyama's face and sees…

He's asleep.

Kageyama's head rests on the back of the sofa. His eyes are closed, and his face is relaxed. He looks so beautiful like this, so stunning, that Hinata's breath catches. Hinata looks his fill, now that he can, up close and personal without being seen or judged. Kageyama has unfairly long, black eyelashes that any woman would be jealous of. His lips are pink and pouty and full, and Hinata wants to kiss them.

Hinata has to laugh. He's fucking asleep. It figures.

Hinata speaks softly to the sleeping alpha next to him. "You fucking idiot. I was just about to confess to you." He gently places his hand over Kageyama's, while resisting the urge to push the inky bangs off Kageyama's forehead because he's afraid the gesture would wake the sleeping alpha.

"You are so frustrating, you know that. You pick this time to fall asleep? Seriously? You never fall asleep on the sofa. That's my job. Ugh. You're frustrating, but also sweet, and caring and kind, so aware of what I need. You take care of me, hold me when I'm falling apart, make me believe I can do anything. I'm still frustrated that your fucking cheesecakes are better, but I'm going to catch up to you, and I can't stay mad at you for that. Not when you're so perfect in every other way. I wish you were my pup's father. I wish we were together, you and me, and that we could raise this baby together. I love you, Kageyama. I should tell you this when you're awake, I guess. But not tonight. I guess the universe is trying to tell me it's not the right time."

He uses the remote to switch off the television and gently nudges Kageyama. "Wake up Sleepy-Yama. The movie's over and you fell asleep."

"I did. What happened?" Kageyama says, rubbing his eyes and looking completely adorable.

"Jenna went back to being thirteen and did things differently, so she and Matty ended up together."

If only I could do the same, Hinata thinks.

"Matty? The best friend when they were kids?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, well, that's nice," Kageyama answers, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion. His eyelids still droop, and he looks cute when he's disoriented. If only Hinata could see this every day when the alpha wakes, his life would be complete.

"We'll watch it again sometime so you can see the end if you want."

Kageyama stares at him for several heartbeats, and Hinata can't gauge his expression. Hinata's heart thumps wildly in his chest as he considers if Kageyama heard his confession.

But then Kageyama stands and says, "Okay. Goodnight, Hinata."

Hinata is simultaneously relieved and disappointed. "Goodnight, Kageyama."

 

 

///

Notes:

Yes, there really is a Babies R Us in Tokyo

Chapter 15: Yearning

Summary:

Kageyama buys Hinata a gift and has another rut.

The next week on his next day off, Kageyama makes a stop at Babies R Us while he's out running errands. Since Miwa's salon is close to the store, he stops in to talk with her after he's done shopping.

The bell over the door tinkles softly as he enters, and a dozen pairs of eyes swing in his direction. The stylists and clients vary in age from twenties to seventies, but their expressions are similar. Smiling faces, assessing eyes. Some of the younger people look at him eagerly and hold his gaze, which makes Kageyama squirm. He imagines the older clients wonder if they can set him up with their children or grandchildren.

He ignores the stares a six-foot-two male alpha draws in a hair salon and makes his way to Miwa's station. Luckily she is between clients.

"Hey, baby brother. What brings you here?"

"I have to ask you a favor."

"Of course," she says before noticing the bag he is carrying. She frowns when she sees the name of the store. "What's in the bag?"

"Oh, I just bought a gift for Hinata for his baby. Listen…"

Miwa's face turns sour. "A gift for his baby?"

"Yeah. So?"

Miwa looks around and seeing all the eyes discreetly or no-so-discreetly watching their interaction, she grabs his arm and pulls him to a staff room at the back of the salon.

"What the fuck, Miwa?"

"Tobio, are you giving Hinata a courting gift?"

Kageyama's heart drops. "No! Why would you say that? I told you we were just friends."

Miwa scowls at him. "You are such an idiot. He's going to think it's a courting gift."

"No, he won't," Kageyama insists.

Miwa gives him that pitying look she always sports when he is obtuse and socially unaware. "Tobio. You are an alpha. You are giving a pregnant omega a gift for his baby. He is absolutely going to think it's a courting gift."

Kageyama's stomach clenches. "What? Why? And how do you know this alpha-omega courting crap? You're a beta."

"Tobio, I know plenty of alpha-omega couples, and I also paid attention in school."

"It's not a courting gift," Kageyama says weakly, now unsure of his own motivations.

"Regardless of your intentions, he will think of it that way."

Kageyama frowns, trying to decide what to do. He knows Hinata really wanted what he bought, but said it was too expensive. He's trying to do something nice for his friend, but he doesn't want Hinata to get the wrong idea.

Or the right idea, his traitorous brain supplies.

"I'll just make sure he knows it's not that when I give it to him," Kageyama concludes after almost breaking his brain.

Miwa studies him thoughtfully. "Tobio, I'm worried about you. This situation with Hinata is getting complicated. I know the ex is gone now, but he's about to have a baby and things are only going to get more confusing. You're clearly struggling with these blurred lines between friendship and something more. I don't want to see you hurt."

Kageyama responds, "I'm not going to get hurt, o-nee-chan. I have no delusions that Hinata thinks of me that way. If I don't have expectations, I can't be disappointed."

"I'm not sure any of that is true, " Miwa says gently.

Miwa's words give Kageyama pause, but he shakes off the uneasy feeling that his big sister is right. "It's going to be fine. I'll make sure he knows it's not a courting gift. I just wanted to do something nice for him. There was something he saw that I know he loved, but it was too expensive."

Miwa's brows furrow even further. "God, Tobio, it's expensive too? I'm really…"

"Not that expensive, geez. It's not like it's diamonds or anything," Kageyama interrupts.

"Tobio…"

"It's going to be fine, sis. Okay?"

Miwa looks doubtful, but says, "Okay."

"So," Kageyama continues, "I need to ask you a favor."

 

+++

 

Kageyama arrives home to find Hinata lounging on the sofa wearing Kageyama's t-shirt and sweatpants. The t-shirt now pulls tight over his belly, and Kageyama's heart stutters at the adorable sight. Hinata is absently petting Mikeneko, who is snuggled on top of his baby bump.

Hinata looks up and greets Kageyama. "Hey."

"Hey," Kageyama answers, settling on the sofa and petting the cat himself. Hinata's scent is so alluring from this distance, sweet and enticing. He wants to bury his face in Hinata's neck. He also wishes he could feel Hinata's baby bump because it's so cute, but it's weird to ask. He purposely pushes both ideas out of his stupid head.

"I got you something," Kageyama says as he hands over the bag. Hinata's eyes light up and he tries to sit up straight. Mikeneko is not happy to have her nap disturbed and scampers off, and Hinata awkwardly works himself to an upright position.

"You didn't need to do that," Hinata says. Though his words are wary, his face tells another story. Kageyama hands over the bag, and Hinata opens it. He pulls out the mobile with the trains that he admired at the store last week. Kageyama watches as Hinata's face softens and his cheeks flush slightly.

"Kageyama, you got the mobile?" Hinata asks, looking up with stars in his eyes.

"Yeah. I knew you wanted it, and I wanted you to have it."

"But it was expensive!" Hinata protests mildly.

"The bakery is doing really well lately, thanks to your ideas. I may even have to give you another raise."

Hinata's cheeks pinken a bit more. "You don’t have to, but thanks for saying that. It's wonderful, Kageyama, really. Thank you. It means a lot to me."

Before Kageyama's brain has time to weigh in on the matter, his mouth blurts, "It's not a courting gift!"

Hinata's eyes snap to Kageyama's, and Kageyama swears he can see the twinkles in them extinguish. He's not sure, but is Hinata's scent souring too? But why?

Hinata opens his mouth to speak, but Kageyama interjects, "Miwa said you would think it was. A courting gift. And I didn't think you would think that, but she said you would, so I just wanted you to know it wasn't."

Hinata smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Oh, of course I don't think that. Haha. That would be stupid."

"Yeah, stupid," Kageyama adds with a forced chuckle. He suddenly feels his chest tighten, and the mood has shifted, though he can't for the life of him figure out why.

"I'm going to go put it on the crib right now," Hinata says, pushing himself into a standing position. "Thanks again, Kageyama. This really is sweet."

Kageyama watches Hinata waddle from the room and frowns over the interaction. He knows something is wrong, but as usual, he's clueless about what it is and what he should do to fix it. He follows Hinata to the baby's room, where Hinata does his best to reach over the crib with his big belly in the way. He gets the mobile attached to the crib and stands back to idly run his finger over one of the red trains.

Hinata turns, and Kageyama thinks he looks wistful. "Thanks again, Kageyama. Your kindness continues to amaze me. Someday, someone's going to be very lucky to have you as their alpha."

Kageyama's heart simultaneously soars at the compliment and freezes at the implication that someday he will be someone else's alpha. Not Hinata's. He opens his mouth, knowing he has to say something, but not knowing what.

"Hinata, I…"

"I'm going to take a nap. I'm really tired all of a sudden."

Kageyama snaps his mouth shut and tries to read Hinata's mood as the omega passes by him and out of the room. When Hinata is gone, Kageyama hangs his head and takes a deep breath. He's not sure if he's just dodged a bullet or wasted an opportunity.

 

+++

 

Later that day as Kageyama prepares dinner, he gets a text from Miwa. Smiling, he turns to Hinata, who is sitting at the kitchen table scrolling through his phone.

"Hey, Hinata?"

"Yeah," Hinata answers, not looking up from his device.

Kageyama comes over to sit across from him at the table. "I just heard from Miwa. I asked her to see if some of her friends with babies would be willing to talk with you, and she said they agreed."

Hinata looks up with narrowed eyes. "Say that again."

"Miwa asked a couple of her friends with kids if they would talk with you, to answer your questions and stuff. They said they would."

Hinata cocks his head to the side. "You asked Miwa-san that? For me?"

Kageyama can't gauge Hinata's mood. He suddenly feels his palms sweat and clenches his hands in his lap. "Yeah. Is that okay? I mean, I'm sorry if that was out of line."

"No, it's fine. It's just…" Hinata drops his eyes to the table, then lifts them again. He's got that starry look again. "That's very thoughtful, Kageyama."

"I just thought, since you had questions and didn't really know anyone to talk to, that this would help, you know."

One side of Hinata's mouth turns up. "It will help, thanks 'Yama. So when will I meet with them?"

"I asked if they could meet next week on our days off. So maybe Monday? I thought we could meet at that coffee shop down the street."

"Are you coming too?"

"No, well, I mean. I thought I would sit with Miwa while you talk with her friends. Give you some privacy."

"That sounds great. Please tell Miwa-san that I said thank you and that I'm really grateful."

"I'll text her now."

 

+++

 

The next Monday, Kageyama waits in the kitchen, fidgeting as Hinata gets ready to meet Miwa's friends. They are running a little late, and Kageyama is anxious.

"Hinata?" he calls.

From his bedroom, Hinata answers, "What?" in a testy voice.

"Are you almost ready?"

Hinata opens his bedroom door. He's frowning and looks like he might cry.

"What's wrong?" Kageyama asks, immediately alarmed.

"It's stupid…" Hinata begins as tears well in his eyes.

Kageyama comes to stand in front of him. Hinata's scent indicates he's distressed. Kageyama's heart hurts and he doesn't even know why, but he immediately releases calming pheromones to help comfort the omega.

"What is it?"

"I don't have anything nice to wear." Hinata looks ashamed.

Kageyama chuckles softly. "Hinata, they're not going to care what you're wearing."

"But I want to make a good impression! And all I have are t-shirts and sweatpants. Ugh, this belly is so fucking annoying!"

Hinata whirls around and heads to his bed, where he plops down.

"You only have eight weeks left. It's almost over."

"But 'Yama, I'm already huge and it's only going to get worse! I can't tie my shoes. Fuck, I can't even see my shoes. And I have a hard time getting up from the sofa, and my ankles look like softballs. And I have no nice clothes to meet Miwa's friends!"

Hinata's words come out as a whine at the end. Kageyama tentatively enters the room and sits next to Hinata on the bed. "I don't pretend to know how it feels, but I'm guessing it will all be worth it when they're born. That's what people say, anyway."

"Ugh, I know! I just hate this! I want to feel normal again."

"Eight weeks isn't that much."

"What should I do about clothes?"

"I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure Miwa wouldn't ask any friends who would judge you."

Hinata looks up, his huge amber eyes a little misty. "You think so?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure Miwa would even be friends with anyone who would judge you."

Hinata huffs a small laugh. "I guess. Thanks, 'Yama. You always know what to say to make me feel better."

The words cause Kageyama to blush. "Whatever. Now get ready, dumbass. We're late."

"Mean!" Hinata retorts, but there's no bite to it.

Fifteen minutes later, they arrive at the coffee shop. Hinata insisted on walking since it was only a few blocks, but he shuffled along at a snail's pace that made Kageyama want to crawl out of his skin.

They enter the coffee shop and Kageyama immediately sees his sister sitting at a table with two people. One of Miwa's friends is a gorgeous woman with shoulder-length black hair. She is seated next to a man with gray hair. The two approach the seated trio, with Hinata trailing behind Kageyama nervously.

"Hi, Tobio. Hi, Hinata," Miwa calls when they reach the table. "These are my friends, Kiyoko and Suga. Guys, you know my brother, and this is his friend, Hinata."

"Nice to meet you," Hinata says with a bow.

"Hinata, Kiyoko has twins at home. They're what, eighteen months now?"

"Nineteen, actually, but yeah. They're terrors. Just like my husband," Kiyoko responds, but her words are soft and joking.

"And Suga here has a three-year-old and an eight-month-old. Is that right, Suga-san?"

"Yep!"

"Why don't we get something to drink? My treat," Kageyama says.

They all approach the counter, and after all order and receive their drinks, Hinata and the two parents settle at one table, while Kageyama and Miwa sit a few tables away.

"Thanks for doing this, o-nee-chan."

"It's no problem," Miwa answers. "Just a few texts and an hour of my time. Plus I get a free latte and some time with my brother." She grins at him, and he lifts his mouth in a small smile in turn.

"Well, it means a lot to Hinata, so thank you."

"And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Does it mean a lot to you?"

She's studying him and there's more to her words, but as usual, he's unable to decipher what she's getting at.

"Yeah, I mean, I appreciate the favor," he answers carefully.

She abruptly shifts topics. "So, what happened with the gift?"

"Nothing. I told him it wasn't a courting gift. It was fine."

"And how did he react?"

Kageyama hesitates. He doesn't know how to explain Hinata's reaction. "He was happy about the gift, I'm sure of it. But he acted kind of weird when I said it wasn't a courting gift."

Miwa perks up and leans over the table toward him. "Weird? How so?"

"I don't know. I think maybe it upset him."

Miwa prompts him. "And?"

"And what?"

"And what do you think that means?"

"What? How the fuck should I know?"

Miwa sits back and lets out a big sigh. "You're such an idiot, I can't believe we're related."

"What the fuck, Miwa?"

"Tobio, he wanted it to be a courting gift," she explains patiently, as if to Suga's toddler.

Kageyama shakes his head. "I don't think so. He's never given me any indication he likes me as more than a friend."

"Tobio, you two have got to work this out. You need to talk instead of dancing around each other."

"I thought you didn't want me to get involved with a pregnant omega."

"I never said that. I said things were confusing and complicated and to be careful. But if you both want to be together, it's not really that hard."

"He doesn't want me like that," Kageyama says as his heart squeezes in his chest. "If he did, he would have said something by now."

"And what if he's waiting for you?"

"He's not."

"How do you know?"

Kageyama hesitates again. "I just know. And besides, I can't be the one to bring it up. If he doesn't feel that way about me, he's going to feel awkward, and he'll worry about his job and his apartment being in jeopardy. I can't do that to him. He's got a lot on his mind. He's really worried about the baby coming, and he feels crappy."

Miwa stares at him for several long seconds, and Kageyama shifts in his seat. "Do you want to know what I think?"

"I'm not sure, but I know you well enough to know you're going to tell me anyway."

"I think the feeling is mutual between you two, and for some reason, which I haven't figured out, he's afraid to tell you."

"No," Kageyama argues, even though he wishes with all his heart it was true.

Miwa sighs as if she has suffered a long time. "Okay. But I will totally be telling you 'I told you so' when it happens."

"It won't. We're just friends."

Just then, the three omegas at the table across the room laugh loudly, and both Kageyamas turn to the trio. They are all smiling as Hinata types something on his phone. Suga meets Kageyama's eyes, then Kageyama hears him say, "Your alpha is very handsome, Hinata."

Kageyama's whole body freezes, and he feels the blood drain from his face. Hinata's eyes snap to his, and for one long second, their gazes lock. Then Hinata turns away and laughs. "Oh, he's not my alpha. We're just friends."

Suga looks from Hinata to Kageyama, and with an enigmatic smile says, "Oh, really? I'm sorry. I must have misunderstood Miwa."

Kageyama drops his eyes to his coffee and wills his thumping heart to slow. Hinata laughed at the idea of Kageyama being his alpha. There it is. Miwa is wrong.

"Tobio," Miwa says, "I swear I didn't tell them you two were together."

"I believe you," Kageyama mumbles.

"What's wrong, then?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

When they are done with their coffees and chat, Hinata and Kageyama wave goodbye to Miwa and her friends. Hinata chatters on the way home.

"They helped me decide to use cloth diapers instead of disposable and Suga is even going to give me some he doesn't need anymore. And I got some great tips about websites that are helpful. And they totally helped me feel better about what to have prepared before the baby comes and what can wait until after."

Kageyama can't help but smile at Hinata's mood. "That's good."

"Thanks again, Kageyama," Hinata says, looking up and smiling. The stars are back in his eyes, and for one brief second, Kageyama wonders if Miwa is right.

 

 

+++

 

The next week, Kageyama is in pre-rut. He's been restless and irritable, and he goes for an extra-long run that morning to try to burn off some energy. He's back in their kitchen, gulping down his second glass of water when Hinata emerges from his bedroom.

Wearing only boxer shorts tucked under his belly.

Hinata freezes, as does Kageyama, the glass halfway to his mouth. They stare at each other for several heartbeats.

Hinata recovers first, "Oh, um, sorry! I didn't know you were back from your run, and I forgot to bring my clean laundry into my room last night."

Kageyama feels like he's been punched in the gut. Hinata's tan skin is all smooth and clear, and his big belly is adorable. It occurs to Kageyama that Hinata's growing a pup, that he's fertile and strong. That he'll be a great mother to that child.

Good omega. Want omega. Breed omega.

Fucking hell, Kageyama thinks as he abruptly turns and puts his glass in the dishwasher. He has to get away from Hinata right now.

Hinata is down the hall getting his laundry, and Kageyama dashes for his bedroom, slamming the door harder than he intended. He collapses his back against the door, breathing hard and willing his stupid horny alpha to stand down.

A moment later, he can sense Hinata on the other side of the door by his scent of sugar and cinnamon seeping through the cracks between the door and its frame. Holy hell, he's so fucking tempting.

"Kageyama?" Hinata asks tentatively. "Are you okay?"

Kageyama swallows hard, knowing he's in full rut now and trying to form coherent sentences when his alpha is overpowering his brain with instincts.

"Yeah," he manages. Very eloquent, Tobio.

Hinata pauses for a second. "I… I thought you slammed the door. Are you upset?"

"No. I… I just. My rut hit and I needed to get to my room. I didn't mean to slam the door. Sorry if that startled you."

"It didn't. I just… Are you okay? Do you have what you need in there?"

No, Kageyama's alpha screams. I need you in here.

"I'll be fine. If I need anything else, I'll get it while you're sleeping."

Another pause. Kageyama can sense Hinata even though he can't see him. Only inches separate them. So close, but yet so far. If he could only open the door, had the guts to do it. But part of him knows he's a coward. His muddled brain floats back to Miwa's words, but he can't think straight right now.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Hinata offers. His voice sounds strange, and Kageyama can't seem to decipher the tone. But his alpha asserts itself again, drowning out any reasoning.

Yes, let me fuck you. Let me have you.

"I…" Kageyama croaks out the word, not even knowing what he meant to say. He could easily let his alpha win, say the words. It would be so easy.

But he can't.

Hinata is more than seven months pregnant, and Kageyama isn't sure his alpha would be anything resembling gentle with the omega.

Plus, Hinata laughed at the notion of Kageyama being his alpha.

Hinata's words didn't mean what they sounded like. It's only a generic offer of assistance, like getting him food or drink. That's all. That must be it.

"I… I don't think so. Thanks."

Hinata pauses again, and Kageyama holds his breath, as much to block out the sweet aroma of Hinata's scent as to wait for an answer.

Finally, Hinata says, "Okay. Well, let me know if you need anything. I'll keep the bakery running while you're out of commission."

Kageyama manages to grunt, "Don't overwork yourself."

He hears Hinata chuckle softly. "I won't, Worry-Yama."

Kageyama senses Hinata step away from the door and confirms that he can no longer detect his scent. He breathes out a sigh, whether from relief or disappointment, he has no clue. He shuffles to his bed, collapses, and immediately takes his cock in hand.

In his fantasy, he opens the door.

Hinata says, "Is there anything I can do to help?" and Kageyama answers, "Yes." He opens the door and is immediately overcome with Hinata's scent.

His alpha screams, Mine, Take, Breed.

Hinata looks up at him, his big brown eyes almost pleading. Kageyama is helpless. He grabs the omega by the arm and pulls him to his chest. He swoops down and captures his mouth in a dirty, wet kiss. Hinata is soon moaning and pressing up against him as if he can't get enough.

In his fantasy, Hinata isn't pregnant. No, he can't be, because in this fantasy, Kageyama is going to breed him.

Kageyama bends down and lifts Hinata under his thighs. The omega's legs immediately wrap around Kageyama's waist, and he growls. He strides to the bed and sets the omega down, immediately covering Hinata's body with his own. Their mouths are devouring, their hands touching each other everywhere.

Kageyama pauses to strip off Hinata's shirt, then buries his face in Hinata's neck, licking over his scent gland and groaning at the pure ecstasy of tasting the omega's skin. Hinata bucks up against him, and Kageyama's dick is rock-hard already.

He pulls back and strips off Hinata's pants and boxers, which are already soaked through with slick. He drops to his knees by the side of the bed, pulls Hinata toward him, then buries his face in Hinata's entrance, lapping up the slick from its source. Hinata moans and begs.

"Oh, god, Tobio, please. So good. Need you. Need your knot. Please alpha."

Kageyama pulls away and stands, quickly stripping off his own clothes. He looks down, takes in Hinata's beauty, his flushed skin and his wet, puffy lips.

Mine, his alpha growls possessively.

Kageyama flips Hinata onto his stomach and presses his body over the omega's.

"Gonna fuck you good. Gonna breed you."

"Yes, please."

Kageyama slides in easily due to the abundance of slick, and Hinata moans with pleasure.

Kageyama fucks him hard and fast, eventually dragging them both to their knees for added leverage. Hinata's hands twist in the bedding, and he lets out little gasps of "Ah, ah, ah," every time Kageyama pounds him.

Kageyama is going to come soon, and he's going to fill this omega with his seed.

"Gonna breed you good, omega. Gonna fill you with my pups."

"Yes, alpha. Want your pups. Want your knot. Please."

Kageyama reaches around and strokes Hinata's neglected dick. The omega moans lewdly as Kageyama uses slick to facilitate the slide.

Soon Hinata is gasping, begging, "Yes, yes, don't stop, please, gonna come."

"Come for me, Sho. Wanna feel you clench around me."

The words catapult Hinata over the edge and he moans low and loud as cum coats Kageyama's fist. As predicted, the clenching around Kageyama's cock is divine, and he feels his knot expanding, catching on Hinata's rim in an exquisite, teasing sensation. A few more thrusts and his knot pops.

His seed fills Hinata and his alpha preens, My omega. Breed omega. Stuff omega full of pups.

In his bed, Kageyama's orgasm crests, and cum dirties his hand and chest. He sucks in ragged breaths as his heart rate slows.

He is such a creep, jerking off to the idea of breeding his friend. His very pregnant, very vulnerable friend.

Yet his alpha doesn't seem to care about being creepy. His alpha wants, craves, yearns.

And for the next few days, Kageyama is helpless to fight his alpha.

 

///

Notes:

The next five weeks of my life are going to be hellish with overtime at work, traveling, and final edits and marketing for the release of Mine To Protect on November 1. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to update every week, but don't worry. I promise I will not leave you hanging for long and I will absolutely be publishing in November.

Chapter 16: Changes

Summary:

Hinata reacts to Kageyama's strange behavior, the bakery gets a new employee, and the baby is almost here!

Notes:

Hello readers! Sorry it has been so long without an update. My life has been so crazy lately. I’m still working 60+ hour weeks and I’m at the breaking point. I’ve had to push back the release date of Mine To Protect yet again because I’m exhausted and have no time for anything. Anyway, I missed my volleyball idiots too much so I took some precious time for this update I’ve been thinking about for about a month. Sorry to drop a cliffhanger and then make you wait for the rest. Will try to update again when I have time and energy, but I will definitely finish this story at some point.Hello readers! Sorry it has been so long without an update. My life has been so crazy lately. I’m still working 60+ hour weeks and I’m at the breaking point. I’ve had to push back the release date of Mine To Protect yet again because I’m exhausted and have no time for anything. Anyway, I missed my volleyball idiots too much so I took some precious time for this update I’ve been thinking about for about a month. Sorry to drop a cliffhanger and then make you wait for the rest. Will try to update again when I have time and energy, but I will definitely finish this story at some point.

Hinata stands perplexed in front of Kageyama's closed bedroom door. He had gone to get his clothes but had been startled when he heard the door slam. Concerned, he had thrown one of Kageyama's large t-shirts and hurried to the bedroom to see what was wrong.

"Kageyama?" Hinata asks tentatively. "Are you okay?" He can smell Kageyama's strong coffee scent seeping through the cracks in the door and allows himself to inhale the tantalizing scent.

Yeah," Kageyama answers in a scratchy voice.

Hinata pauses, unsure of what to make of the sudden door slamming, followed by the vague response. He waits a moment for Kageyama to offer an explanation, but Kageyama remains silent.

Hinata tries again. "I… I thought you slammed the door. Are you upset?"

Was Kageyama upset at seeing him only in his boxers? Offended? Repulsed even?

Hinata's heart drops as he waits for an answer from the other side of the door. He wishes he could open it, that Kageyama would open it, so he could read the alpha's facial expressions and gauge his mood.

"No. I… I just. My rut hit and I needed to get to my room. I didn't mean to slam the door. Sorry if that startled you."

Kageyama's voice sounds strangled, choking almost, and Hinata instinctively reaches his hand to the door, planting his palm flat against the wood in an effort to feel closer to the alpha. He supposes rut could make Kageyama sound like that, but it's all so strange, and he feels a rising need to know what the problem is. To help fix it.

"It didn't. I just… Are you okay? Do you have what you need in there?" Hinata asks.

Kageyama's response comes after a few long, drawn-out seconds. "I'll be fine. If I need anything else, I'll get it while you're sleeping."

Hinata frowns, again wishing he could see Kageyama's face. He debates whether to ask his friend to open the door so they can talk face-to-face but decides it might be too much for Kageyama right now. Still, he wants to help. Feels compelled to do so.

The thought occurs to Hinata that maybe Kageyama's rut is making it difficult to be around him, but the idea seems a bit outrageous. He is thirty-five weeks pregnant and not exactly what anyone would consider attractive.

Yet still, what if…?

Could it be possible that Kageyama wants him like Hinata wants Kageyama? Hinata presses his hand closer to the door and inhales the alpha's scent again, letting it flow over and through him like a balm to his soul.

Could it be?

Hinata's heart thumps like a bass drum in his chest as he works up the nerve to ask, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

There, he said it. It could be read in so many ways; it’s suggestive yet sufficiently vague. Hinata holds his breath, waiting for a response.

He wants so badly for Kageyama to open the door. Open his arms. Open his heart.

After a few tense seconds, he hears Kageyama's scratchy voice begin, "I…" Hinata inches closer to the door, his hand trembling where it presses against the wood. Kageyama is just on the other side, in rut, and the possibility is…

"I… I don't think so. Thanks," Kageyama finally croaks out, and Hinata feels his heart drop into his stomach. His hand falls from the door and clenches at his side.

He was so fucking stupid to think…

Of course no alpha would want him in his current condition.

Pushing away thoughts of his unattractive state, he straightens his back, determined not to reveal his foolish hopes. "Okay. Well, let me know if you need anything. I'll keep the bakery running while you're out of commission."

"Don't overwork yourself," he hears Kageyama growl in his usual grumpy tone.

Despite his wounded pride, Hinata chuckles softly that Kageyama still worries about him even when in the throes of rut.

"I won't, Worry-Yama.

Hinata stands frozen for another several seconds, trying to decide if there's anything else he should do or say, but he realizes he's being stupid again. Finally, he turns and walks back to get his laundry. When he returns to his room, he climbs into bed and allows himself to indulge in the fantasy.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he says, and he can hear a soft growl and heavy breathing on the other side of the door.

He holds his breath as he waits, and soon the door jerks open. Hinata steps back, startled. His heart is thumping.

Kageyama’s scent flows heavy and thick from the room. His eyes are dark and hooded as he faces Hinata. Hinata gulps, suddenly a little afraid.

Or is that arousal?

“What did you say?” Kageyama asks. His voice is low and gravelly, and Hinata’s omega immediately responds. He can feel slick starting to leak from his hole.

“I… I said… um… I asked if there was anything I could do to help,” Hinata stammers.

“What? With my rut you mean?”

“Y-yes.”

Kageyama’s eyes narrow, and Hinata feels vaguely nervous but is unable to look away.

“What would you help with? Like getting me food and water?” Kageyama asks in that sexy, scratchy voice. Hinata has to force his brain to engage with logic because the proximity of this gorgeous, amazing-smelling alpha is making him lightheaded.

“Y-yeah, I guess. Or… other things.” Hinata can’t believe he had the courage to say that. He watches as Kageyama’s grip on the door tightens to the point that his fingertips turn white.

“What other things?”

God, Kageyama’s voice is so low and appealing. Hinata wants to take off his clothes and get on all fours immediately.

“You know, like, help-help. With your rut,” Hinata hedges.

Kageyama’s stare is so intense, Hinata has to fight the urge to drop to his knees.

“What are you offering, Hinata?” Kageyama says, his voice equal parts challenging and enticing.

Hinata manages to swallow past the lump in his throat. The word comes out scratchy, but it comes out.

“Myself.”

Kageyama’s face flushes slightly, and his grip tightens further on the door. “You mean you’d let me fuck you?” he asks.

The words do strange things to Hinata’s body. He feels warm all over, and tingly. He feels equal parts afraid and aroused. Slick drips from his hole, and he can tell Kageyama notices by the way his nose wrinkles slightly.

Hinata lifts his chin. “Yes. If it would help you.”

“Don’t offer that unless you are absolutely sure.”

“I am.”

The words have barely passed Hinata’s lips before Kageyama grabs him by the back of the neck and captures his mouth in a desperate, rough kiss. Hinata’s knees buckle from the feel of Kageyama’s lips along with that enticing coffee scent.

Soon he feels himself being lifted and wraps his legs around Kageyama’s waist. He is being carried, but he doesn’t care where as long as Kageyama keeps kissing him. Kageyama lays him down on the bed, then covers Hinata’s body with his own. Hinata groans and feels more slick trickle from his hole.

Kageyama reaches down and drags Hinata’s shirt off over his head. He places open-mouthed kisses across Hinata’s jaw and down his neck, stopping at Hinata’s scent glands to inhale deeply. The alpha lets out a deep growl, and Hinata suddenly feels desperate to be claimed by the alpha.

Hinata’s scent seems to spur Kageyama on as well. He stands and drags off Hinata’s sweatpants and underwear all at once, tossing them aside and dropping to his knees beside the bed and between Hinata’s legs. Hinata gasps as Kageyama spreads his legs open and dives into his hole with his tongue.

Hinata’s moans are deep and lewd as Kageyama sucks up the slick that now flows steadily from Hinata. He eats as if he is starving, licking and sucking and probing and Hinata is having an out-of-body experience.

Kageyama traces his mouth along Hinata’s taint and takes his balls into his mouth to suck and tease with his tongue. By the time he’s got Hinata’s cock in his mouth, Hinata’s skin is tingling all over and he is seconds from coming. Hinata runs his fingers through Kageyama’s silky, dark strands as he chants, “Yes, yes, yes.”

It is indeed, less than one minute before he shoots his load down Kageyama’s throat. As Hinata slowly opens his eyes, he sees Kageyama stand and look down at him as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. His look is feral, hungry, and Hinata soaks up the look like a drug and commits it to memory.

Kageyama says nothing but quickly strips off his shirt, pants and boxer briefs. Hinata’s breath catches at the sight in front of him. Kageyama’s sculpted body looks strong and chiseled, and his big alpha cock stands thick and proud. It’s so big, much bigger than Hinata could have ever imagined, and instead of feeling scared that it will hurt him, he is eager to have it split him open.

Okay, so Kageyama’s cock is probably not monster size, but it’s Hinata’s fantasy so he can imagine anything he wants.

Suddenly Hinata needs it in his mouth, so he sits up and immediately swallows down as much as he can manage, choking when the head hits the back of his throat. Undaunted, he keeps going, sucking and using his tongue to press at the slit. He feels Kageyama’s fingers embed in his hair and tug gently as the alpha swears softly.

“Fucking hell, Shoyo, your mouth feels amazing. So good, baby. So good for me.”

Hinata preens at the praise and is enjoying himself fully, so he’s a bit disappointed when Kageyama pulls away. Hinata looks up with questioning eyes as Kageyama commands him in that rough voice, “Present for me, omega.”

Hinata feels slick drip down the inside of his thighs, and he is sure now that his cock has rallied. He scrambles to comply, and within seconds is on all fours on the bed, ass up. Kageyama kneels on the bed behind him, and all the hairs on Hinata’s body stand up and he feels bumps emerge on his skin.

Kageyama runs both hands up and down Hinata’s back, then kneads his ass for a few seconds before he spreads his cheeks open and presses his thumb into Hinata’s waiting hole, which clenches around the invasion. Kageyama doesn’t speak, and it is quiet in the room except for Hinata’s labored breathing and the obscene squelching sound of Kageyama’s thumb moving in and out.

Soon Kageyama replaces his thumb with two fingers, and Hinata cries out, whether from discomfort or deliverance, he isn’t sure. Kageyama’s fingers deftly open him up, probing around for that sweet spot. When the fingers hit their mark, Hinata keens deeply, and he hears Kageyama chuckle softly, that asshole. As Kageyama’s long, skillful fingers continue their assault, Hinata becomes more and more desperate, rocking back and forth, asking with his body for more.

When Kageyama adds a third finger, Hinata can’t help but exclaim, “Yes!” and Kageyama seems to share his impatience because it’s only a minute before he removes his fingers and lines up his cock. Before Hinata can finish his prayer of thanks, Kageyama presses in with his giant cock, and Hinata cries out from the invasion.

Kageyama stills, and asks, “Are you okay?”

Okay, so alphas in rut probably wouldn’t stop to ask an omega this, but this is Kageyama, and he is consistently worried about Hinata’s well-being. So yeah, Hinata’s fantasy is totally going to include that detail.

“Yes, yes! Please, need it. Need you. Fuck me, alpha. Please.”

Kageyama growls and heeds Hinata’s words. He begins pounding into him, pushing him up several inches on the bed before dragging him back against his cock. Hinata is mindless with pleasure, focused solely on that fat cock grazing over his prostate, and making him see stars. He’s going to come soon, he knows. It will be fast and intense, and while part of him wants this to last, he can’t seem to find the will to protest because it just feels too fucking good.

Kageyama’s fingers are digging into the meat of his hips, and Hinata’s hands tangle into the bedsheets as he lets out little “ah, ah” sounds every time he’s pounded. He is delirious with pleasure, conscious only of the sensations wracking his body. He’s getting close, is aware that the tiniest stimulation to his neglected cock is going to catapult him over the edge. He can feel Kageyama’s knot starting to inflate, and it catches on his rim causing a strange combination of discomfort and pleasure.

He feels Kageyama’s fingers grip his hips more tightly and knows instinctively that the alpha is ready to come. He reaches down to touch himself, but Kageyama bats his hand away and wraps his big hand around Hinata’s cock. Hinata’s body immediately convulses, and he moans lewdly as his cum coats Kageyama’s hand. Kageyama grunts as he buries himself deep with one last thrust, and Hinata feels the pressure of the alpha’s knot popping and the warmth of the alpha’s cum flooding inside him. The sensation sends another shiver through him, and he feels utter contentment.

They are both dragging in raspy breaths for a moment, then Kageyama lays on his side, bringing Hinata with him as the little spoon. The alpha doesn’t speak, but nuzzles against Hinata’s scent glands, licking over them occasionally. Hinata lies relaxed in the alpha’s arms, feeling safe and wanted and utterly satisfied.

 

+++

 

Hinata manages to keep the bakery running for the few days that Kageyama is indisposed due to his rut, but it takes a toll on him. He is so tired he fights to keep his eyes open if he stops moving for a moment. He burns his hand being careless with a hot pan, causing him to cry like a baby even though the burn doesn’t hurt that much. He is absent-minded, disorganized and flustered much of the time.

He just feels off.

He’s run the bakery without Kageyama before, but this time feels different. He is physically exhausted, and his brain is scrambled from his constant worries about the pup being born in a little more than a month. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready to be a parent, and it’s terrifying.

And he misses Kageyama, his constant, calming presence and his gruff but supportive words. He hadn’t realized how much those words meant to him, how much stress they relieved until now.

Since when did he come to rely so much on Kageyama’s company? Since when did it become impossible to go a few days without the alpha beside him?

Hinata is sitting on the sofa in a near catatonic state with tears streaming down his face when Kageyama finally emerges from his bedroom in the evening three days after his rut started. Hinata looks up slowly to see Kageyama’s surprised face.

“Oi, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

Kageyama sits on the sofa and puts a hand on Hinata’s knee. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

Hinata turns to Kageyama slowly, taking in the scowl that means he’s worried. “I’m just… Kageyama, I’m so sorry. I tried really hard, but I didn’t do so well with the bakery while you were gone. I burned the cheesecake, and I forgot to make matcha cookies yesterday. Then I was distracted, and I made a mistake at the register, and the kitchen was a mess last night and I was so tired I couldn’t clean it properly. I haven’t swept the floor in two days because my back hurts and…”

“Hey, hey,” Kageyama says softly as he pulls Hinata into a hug. “I’m sorry it was so hard. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

Hinata nestles his face against Kageyama’s neck, inhales the familiar, comforting scent and immediately feels steadier. He shakes his head to indicate he doesn’t blame Kageyama, and murmurs, “Not your fault.”

Kageyama continues to offer soothing words and releases calming pheromones, and soon Hinata’s heart hurts less. He snuggles closer, admitting to himself that he has missed the physical comfort of Kageyama’s strong, steady embrace.

After a few minutes, Kageyama leans back and snags a tissue from the box on the end table. “Here, dumbass. You’re getting my shirt all wet.”

Hinata smiles as he takes the tissue because he knows that is just Kageyama deflecting.

“I’ve been thinking about hiring someone at the bakery,” Kageyama begins as Hinata wipes his tears. “We’ve been so much busier now that we’ve done the redecorating and have the specials. And with the baby coming soon, you’ll need time off. What do you think?”

Kageyama is asking him? About his business? Hinata feels a warmth spread through him. Kageyama is treating him like a partner, and it makes him feel proud.

“I think that’s a good idea. Even if they just worked the front and helped with cleaning and deliveries. They wouldn’t need to actually do any baking.”

Kageyama nods. “Yeah, that’s what I thought too. I mentioned it to Miwa last week, and she has a friend looking for work. We could maybe see how this friend works out, have her start soon so she has time to learn the job before the baby comes.”

“That sounds good.”

“I’ll tell Miwa.”

Hinata sniffles and places the dirty tissue on the table. The pressure in his chest has subsided, but not entirely. Now he just feels drained.

“You don’t look so good, Hinata. Was it really that bad?”

“It’s just too much. I’m so exhausted. And I’m…” Hinata looks up into Kageyama’s deep blue eyes, laser-focused on him as if hanging on his every word. “I’m terrified. The baby will be here in a month, and I’m not ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. And…”

Hinata pauses, unsure whether to divulge the last part. But he’s never kept things from Kageyama, never had to.

You know, except the whole issue of being in love with the big, dumb alpha.

Hinata looks away for a moment, momentarily embarrassed that of all things, he’s not had the courage or the confidence to divulge that one, very important secret.

But that’s not what this is about.

“I… I went on social media two nights ago,” he begins. Kageyama’s frown deepens fractionally, and Hinata can’t help but think how cute the alpha looks when he’s confused.

“My sister, Natsu, turned thirteen two days ago. I… was missing her and wanted to see if she had created accounts. Our parents were really strict that we couldn’t get on social media till we were thirteen, and…well, I saw pictures of her, of them,” he goes on, feeling the tears fall down his cheeks again. “She’s grown up so much in the last two years, and I…”

Hinata’s voice cracks, and he finds himself engulfed in another hug.

“I miss them, ‘Yama. I want to talk to them, but I’m so ashamed of what happened.”

Kageyama circles his hand over Hinata’s back several times to calm him. “You can always call them, Hinata. I bet they miss you too.”

“I don’t know. But I’ll think about it. I just can’t forget that night. I can’t get over the feeling that they are better off without me.”

Kageyama grips Hinata by the shoulders and leans him back. He looks a little pissed, and Hinata is a bit stunned.

“They are not better off without you. Stop making it seem like you have done something awful or are a bad person.”

For a moment, Hinata doesn’t know how to respond. Part of him believes what Kageyama is saying, but the other part just can’t forget the final words his father spit out that night.

“I’ll think about it,” Hinata says, mostly truthfully.

“Okay, good. Now have you eaten? Have you been keeping up with healthy meals?”

Hinata can feel himself blush, and he knows that Kageyama knows the answer to that.

“Oi, you’re such a dumbass. Put your feet up while I make some dinner. Sleep if you want to.” Kageyama stands, but before heading to the kitchen, he pins Hinata with a serious look. “And Hinata, I am sorry for leaving you to deal with that yourself. I won’t let that happen again.”

Hinata feels emotion swell in his chest. This alpha is so good to him, so sweet and caring. If only they could be together, like a couple instead of friends, or whatever this was.

But right now he’s too tired to think about it, so he lies down on the sofa and allows himself to sleep without any stress for the first time in three days.

 

+++

 

The next week, Hinata just finishes helping a customer when a petite, blonde young woman comes into the bakery. Hesitantly, she asks, “Um, hello? I’m Hitoka Yachi. I’m supposed to talk with Kageyama-san about a job?”

“Oh, hello, Hitoka-san! It’s nice to meet you! I’m Hinata Shoyo.”

The young woman blushes profusely and answers, “Oh, hello Hinata-san. You can just call me Yachi.” She reaches out a small hand, which Hinata shakes. “Wait here and I’ll get Kageyama.”

Hinata goes to the back and tells Kageyama that Miwa’s friend is there about the job. He waits while Kageyama wipes off his hands, and they both head back to the front of the bakery, where Yachi is fidgeting nervously while she waits.

“Hello, Hitoka-san. It’s nice to meet you,” Kageyama says. His deep voice and towering height seem to scare the tiny blonde and she physically flinches. Hinata feels bad for her. If someone didn’t know Kageyama was a big teddy bear, he would seem pretty intimidating.

Hinata manages to calm Yachi’s nerves by teasing, “Don’t worry, Yachi. He just looks scary. He’s really very nice.”

“What the hell, Hinata?” Kageyama whispers under his breath.

Yachi sends a wary look at Kageyama, but nods at Hinata’s words.

“So, Hitoka-san…”

“You can call me Yachi,” she blurts out suddenly, causing Kageyama to pause and study her curiously.

After a few seconds, he begins again, “So, Yachi, Miwa told you about the job, I assume? We want someone to cover the register, interact with customers, and help with cleaning and deliveries. There’s no baking required.”

“Yes, Kageyama-san, I understand. I can do all of those things!”

“Great. Hinata, why don’t you show Yachi around. I’ll mind the counter.”

“Sure, ‘Yama!” Hinata chirps.

He escorts Yachi around the back, showing her the kitchen, storage room and cleaning supplies. When she asks about the bed in the back room, Hinata sheepishly admits that he takes naps there. “I get really tired now.”

“When is your baby due?”

“In about four weeks, on April 30. That’s partly why we need more help.”

“Congratulations!”

Hinata notices that Yachi is less nervous now than before, and figures she was just afraid of Kageyama’s scary face. He tries to reassure her some more.

“Kageyama is really very nice. He sounds gruff and angry, and his face is scary-looking, but he’s really very kind and considerate. He looks after me a lot, makes sure I don’t overwork myself and that I eat right. He takes good care of me.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet,” Yachi says with a small smile. “How long have you two been together?”

The question startles Hinata, though he doesn’t know why. Everyone seems to assume the two of them are a couple.

If only.

“Oh,” Hinata says evasively, “We’re not together. We’re just… friends.”

Yachi pales and apologizes profusely, “Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry, Hinata-san! I just… oh, I’ve offended you. Please accept my apologies.”

She bows deeply, causing Hinata to frown. “It’s fine, Yachi, really.”

She straightens, but still looks stricken.

“Anyway, I think you’ve seen everything. Ready to get to work?”

“Absolutely!”

 

+++

 

The next week brings some relief for Hinata. With Yachi helping at the counter, Hinata feels more comfortable taking naps. He can only make it until nine or ten in the morning before he’s ready to rest for a while. He arranges himself awkwardly on the bed in the back room of the bakery because climbing all of those stairs is just too difficult with his swollen ankles, heavy belly and sore back. When he wakes, he feels halfway human for a few more hours before he needs to rest again.

A week and a half after Yachi starts working at the bakery, Hinata hears the oven timer ding at just after six AM. His cheesecake is done. He’s been working on this for months now and is desperate to get it right. He hates that Kageyama’s fucking cheesecakes are always perfect. He hates that Kageyama wins this one over and over again.

He slips on the oven mitts and opens the oven. He leans over to take the cheesecake out, careful to not let his big belly get in the way. He slides it from the oven and carefully sets it on the counter.  For once it has not cracked or deflated in the oven.

It looks perfect.

Hinata stares at the cake in disbelief for a moment, then whispers, lest his voice alone cause it to collapse.

“Kageyama!”

Kageyama turns from the other counter where he has been sprinkling powdered sugar over a batch of shu cream. He looks at Hinata questioningly, and Hinata, still afraid to jinx his luck, tilts his head toward the perfect cheesecake. Kageyama’s eyes dart to the cake, then back to Hinata.

“Yeah?”

“You idiot,” Hinata whisper-yells. “Do you see it? Do you see how perfect it is?”

“No,” Kageyama answers, but Hinata can detect a small smile as Kageyama turns back to his work.

“You’re an asshole,” Hinata mutters. “This is a perfect fucking Japanese cheesecake. And you know it. And I know you know it.”

“Whatever, dumbass,” Kageyama says, but Hinata can tell by the inflection in his voice that Kageyama is proud of him.

 

+++

 

Two nights after his perfect cheesecake, which Hinata has continued to pester Kageyama about, asking for his praise, Hinata is lying on the sofa while Kageyama cleans up after dinner. He feels so huge and awkward. He hasn’t seen his toes (or his dick) in ages, and he is tired of the baby using his bladder as a trampoline.

When Kageyama comes back to the living room, Hinata works himself into a sitting position and allows Kageyama to sit down before propping his feet onto the alpha’s lap. It has become a bit of a habit for them to do this in the evenings. Kageyama massages Hinata’s sore feet and swollen ankles while they watch their baking shows.

While Hinata relaxes into the comfort of his foot massage, the baby starts turning and twisting in his belly. The movements are fluid but still feel jarring. He lifts his shirt to see the bulge of what he thinks is a foot ripple over his belly. It is so strange.

“Hey, ‘Yama, did you see that?”

“What?” Kageyama asks.

“Watch,” Hinata says as he continues to stare at his belly. Another minute or so passes and again, a bulge sticks out of his stomach a good inch as the baby stretches.

“Oh wow. Does it hurt?” Kageyama’s blue eyes snap to Hinata’s wide with surprise and concern.

“No, it just feels weird.”

Kageyama hesitates, then asks, “Can I… feel it?”

“Sure,” Hinata answers for two reasons. One, he doesn’t want to deny Kageyama anything ever, and two, he likes the feel of the alpha’s large hands on him any way he can get it.

Kageyama rests his palm on the place where the bulge last appeared, and they both wait, breathing quietly. After another moment, the baby’s foot again stretches out Hinata’s belly, not far from Kageyama’s hand.

Kageyama’s eyes again meet Hinata’s. “That’s so weird. They’re almost here. It’s kind of hard to believe.”

“Yeah,” Hinata agrees. I’m pretty scared. Only two weeks now.”

“Have you decided on names? You haven’t talked about it lately.”

“I think I’ve narrowed it down to two names for girls and two for boys,” Hinata answers. “Want to hear them?”

“Yes. Of course.”

Hinata tells Kageyama the two boy names he has chosen, then the two girl names. “Do you like them?” he asks, eager to know Kageyama’s opinion.

“Yes, they’re all very nice.”

“Which do you like better?”

Kageyama looks uncomfortable. “Why does that matter? I’m not…”

Hinata cuts him off before he can say he’s not the pup’s father because somehow hearing that hurts Hinata in a way he doesn’t fully understand. “I know, but I want your opinion. I’m asking for your opinion.”

Kageyama studies Hinata silently for a few heartbeats, then answers, “For a girl, I like the first one. For a boy, the second one.”

Hinata sighs with relief, even though he can’t explain the feeling. “Yeah, I was leaning that way too, for both.”

“So, have you chosen?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Hinata smiles at the alpha, and for a moment, they just look at each other. After a moment, Kageyama seems to realize his hand is still on Hinata’s belly, and he removes it slowly.

“So, what do you want to watch?”

 

+++

 

By the time Hinata is thirty-eight weeks pregnant, he has his hospital bag packed and is more than ready for the baby to come. He’s uncomfortable and hasn’t been able to sleep. He has to constantly pee because the baby seems to be training for the Olympic high jump. His ankles are the size of softballs, and he waddles like some ginger penguin everywhere he goes.

“I want this baby out!” he declares at least a half-dozen times a day.

Yachi smiles at him understandingly but says nothing. Kageyama rolls his eyes. “Yeah, we know, dumbass.”

Hinata’s crankiness turns to anticipation as he gets to one week before his due date. “Any day now!” he declares.

Yachi smiles at him understandingly but says nothing. Kageyama rolls his eyes. “Yeah, we know, dumbass.”

By the time his due date arrives, Hinata is still in a good mood, but when April 30 comes and goes, he starts to become anxious again.

May 1 he is still a bit hopeful that maybe he will go into labor that day.

May 2 he starts to get a bit salty, because hasn’t this baby gotten the memo that they’re supposed to be born by now?

On May 3, Hinata is downright pissy. He jumps up and down several times during the day.

“What are you doing?” Kageyama asks.

“I’m trying to shake them loose,” Hinata explains as if this makes perfect sense.

“It doesn’t work that way, you know, dumbass.”

“Whatever, shut up.”

By May 4, Hinata is about to throw hands. This fucking baby better not be stubborn and obstinate like Natsu was as a child, or so help him, he’s not going to survive the kid’s childhood. He’s cranky and irritable all day. He sees Yachi and Kageyama share looks over his behavior more than once but chooses to ignore it because he only has room in his brain for one meltdown at a time.

By May 5, he drags himself from bed with superior effort and trudges down to the bakery. He feels nauseated and his head is pounding. Kageyama is already there, working at the counter with some dough.

“I can’t stand it. I want this baby out!”

“I know. Soon.”

“I don’t want to wait anymore!” Hinata yells. “I refuse to wait anymore!” he insists, knowing he sounds ridiculous.

“It doesn’t work that way, dumbass, and you know it. What did the doctor say?”

“She said the baby would come when they’re good and ready, and that lots of first-time mothers go over their due date.”

“So, there. What’s the problem then?”

“The problem, Kageyama,” Hinata says, emphasizing each word, “Is that I don’t want to do this anymore! I want my body back!”

Kageyama opens his mouth, but Hinata cuts him off. “I swear to god, Kageyama Tobio, if you say it doesn’t work that way, I’m going to clobber you with that rolling pin!”

Kageyama’s mouth snaps shut, and Hinata huffs off to the front to unlock the doors.

The morning progresses like any other, though Hinata’s nausea persists. “I’m going to lie down,” he tells Kageyama and Yachi, who look at him with concern.

“Let me know if you need anything, Hinata,” Yachi says.

“Thanks, Yachi. I’ll be fine. I just feel sick to my stomach. I’m sure it will pass.”

He makes his way to the bed, takes a couple of minutes to get comfortable on his side with a pillow tucked under his belly, and promptly falls asleep.

When he wakes, he knows he slept deeply because he feels disoriented. He rubs his eyes, wondering if he should rest some more, but a glance at the clock indicates he’s already slept for more than two hours. He heaves himself into a sitting position and stays there for a moment, working up the motivation to leave the bed.

As soon as he stands, however, he feels a flood of water gush down his legs. Standing there in stunned silence, it takes him a moment to figure out what is happening.

He feels elated and terrified all at once, and he gives in to his first instincts.

“Kageyama!” he yells, knowing the panic in his voice will alarm the alpha.

As predicted, Kageyama comes barreling into the room. “Hinata! What’s wrong?”

Hinata looks down at the puddle at his feet, then back to the worried alpha. “My water broke. The baby is coming.”

 

///

Chapter 17: Family

Summary:

Hinata’s baby is here, and Kageyama is a mess.

The words ricochet around in Kageyama’s brain like a pinball, but it takes him several seconds to register their meaning.

The baby is coming.

Holy fucking hell.

The realization hits him like a freight train, and panic immediately sets in.

He rushes to Hinata’s side, grabs him by the arm, and drags him toward the door. “Okay, let’s go to the hospital.”

“Kageyama!” Hinata says as he digs in his feet.

“What?”

“I need to change my clothes because my pants are soaked. And I need my bag. And we need to tell Yachi what’s going on.”

“Oh, right,” Kageyama says, dropping Hinata’s arm. “I’ll go get your stuff. You tell Yachi.”

Kageyama’s heart is pounding as he rushes up the stairs to the apartment. He’s panicked and nervous and excited, and he can’t decide which emotion to feel right now. He pushes the door to the apartment open, not bothering to close it, and dashes toward Hinata’s room.

He doesn’t see the cat.

The next thing he knows, his face bashes against the back of the sofa, and pain stabs throughout his face. He lands on his side, hard, and another burst of pain crashes through his shoulder and makes his teeth rattle. He lays there, disbelieving and hurting, while Mikeneko stands in front of him, staring as if he is a pitiful loser.

He is being judged by a cat.

“Kageyama? Are you okay? What was that thud?” he hears Hinata call from downstairs.

“Nothing. I’m fine,” he yells. [Morgan Freeman voice: That was a lie.]

Silence for a few heartbeats. “Are you sure?” Hinata calls up, sounding unsure.

“Yes, I’m getting your stuff. Just give me a minute.” Kageyama pulls himself into a sitting position, rubs his shoulder, gives one last death stare to his possibly murderous cat, and stands. Shaking himself slightly, he walks briskly to Hinata’s bedroom.

He opens the top drawer where he knows Hinata keeps his underwear and pulls out a pair of boxers with cupcakes on them. He vaguely registers how ridiculous (cute) Hinata is before he grabs a pair of Hinata’s (his) sweatpants from the bottom drawer. Clothes in hand, he walks quickly back to the door, scanning for the cat as he moves.

When he’s clear of the deadly feline, he closes the door and bounds down the stairs in time to hear Yachi say to Hinata, “I’ll take care of everything here, just like we discussed.”

Hinata turns to Kageyama as he approaches and exclaims, “Kageyama! You’re bleeding!”

“What?”

“Your nose is bleeding, idiot. What happened?”

Kageyama wipes his nose with his hand and is alarmed to see blood. Fucking hell. He’s supposed to be a strong, competent alpha. What the hell is happening?

“It’s nothing. Here’s your clothes.”

He sees Hinata and Yachi exchange worried a look and is thankful when neither says anything.

“Here,” he says, shoving the clothes at Hinata. “Sit down.”

Hinata slides his pants down his thighs and sits on the side of the bed. He is wearing Kageyama’s shirt, which covers his crotch, but Kageyama has to remind himself not to stare at Hinata’s bare legs as he slides the wet garments off Hinata’s legs and replaces them with dry ones. When both Hinata’s boxers and sweatpants are up over his knees, Kageyama stands and turns away, as does Yachi, while Hinata pulls the clothes fully on.

“Okay, let’s go,” Kageyama barks when Hinata says he’s done. Kageyama again grabs Hinata’s arms, but Hinata again refuses to be led.

“My bag, ‘Yama.”

Crap. The bag.

“Be right back.”

Kageyama runs to the stairs again and starts taking them two at a time.

He misses one.

He realizes his error just as his forehead crashes into the edge of a stair. He hears Hinata gasp and Yachi squeak.

“’Yama? Oh my god, are you okay?” Kageyama hears Hinata’s words, even though his head is spinning, and he’s got stars floating in front of his eyes.

“’m fine,” he mumbles, picking himself up and continuing up the stairs, determined not to let them see how much he’s hurting. He enters the living room again and scans the room for Mikeneko, who’s perched on the windowsill, out of his way but still watching him with feline contempt.

Fucking cat.

Convinced he’s safe, for now, he rushes to Hinata’s room and grabs the bag that Hinata has had packed for the last couple of weeks. He rushes back into the living room, slowing until he locates the cat, who is still disdainfully judging him, and then picks up his pace across the living room. He rushes down the stairs, satisfied that he doesn’t trip, and rushes out of the bakery’s back door and to his car parked in the driveway. He chucks the bag into the back seat, gets into the driver’s seat, and starts the car. As he’s backing out of the driveway, he sees Hinata and Yachi at the door.

Hinata waves.

Oh, fuck. He slams on the brakes.

“Remember me?” Hinata teases as he waddles to the car.

Silently cursing, Kageyama puts the car in park and jumps out to help Hinata to the passenger side. Hinata is smirking at him, and Kageyama feels his face flush with embarrassment.

“You have a cut on your forehead,” Hinata remarks as Kageyama assists him into the seat and helps him buckle his seatbelt.

“It’s nothing,” Kageyama murmurs, wanting to ignore everything about his behavior in the last ten minutes.

When he gets into the car, he chances a look at Hinata, who is still smirking. “It’s fine, Kageyama. Calm down.”

Kageyama backs out of the driveway, throwing a wave at Yachi standing at the door. “I am calm,” he insists. [Morgan Freeman voice: Kageyama was most definitely not calm.]

As he drives to the hospital as fast as he can manage without endangering their safety, he looks over at Hinata, who doesn’t look nervous at all.

“How are you? You don’t seem nervous.”

“Actually,” Hinata responds, looking at him with a softness that makes Kageyama’s heart skip a beat, “I’m pretty Zen about the whole thing. It’s happening whether I’m ready or not.”

Kageyama frowns, trying to reconcile this Hinata with the Hinata who had been nervous about the baby’s arrival for months.

“That’s… good, I guess.”

“It’s going to be fine,” Hinata says reassuringly, and Kageyama feels his anxiety tamp down a notch.

When they arrive at the hospital, Kageyama rushes in, pulling along a slow, waddling Hinata. The intake nurse looks up, and her gaze travels from Hinata’s giant belly to Kageyama’s battered face.

“Who needs medical attention?” she asks.

“He does,” both say, pointing at each other.

The nurse frowns, and they both talk over each other again. “He needs to have his nose and forehead looked at,” Hinata explains at the same time Kageyama says, “His water thingy exploded.”

Hinata's mouth gapes open, and after a second, he squawks,  “My water thingy?”

“I don’t know what it’s called!”

“My water broke, ‘Yama, it didn’t explode.”

“Whatever, dumbass. She knows what I mean.”

“Oh, so you’re here for delivery? But what about his face?”

“My face is fine.”

The nurse frowns deeper.

“Kageyama, let them look at your face.”

“No, you’re having a baby. That’s more important.”

Hinata studies him for a minute and seems to decide not to argue. He turns back to the nurse and explains, “My water broke about thirty minutes ago.”

With one last suspicious look at Kageyama’s just-been-in-a-barfight appearance, the nurse begins to get Hinata checked in.

 

+++

 

By the time they enter the hospital room a while later, Hinata has started feeling mild contractions and Kageyama’s anxiety is back.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Just a little cramping right now.”

The delivery nurse introduces herself and helps Hinata change into a hospital gown. She takes his vitals and gets him comfortable in a bed but encourages him to get up and move around whenever he wants.

Kageyama is a bit confused that everyone is so calm. “Why isn’t she moving faster? Where’s the doctor? Why are you so calm?”

Hinata studies him, his brows furrowed slightly. “It’s going to be a while, ‘Yama.”

Kageyama frowns. “How long?”

“Hours.”

What the fuck? “Hours? How many hours?”

“The doctor said first-time moms can be in labor from twelve to twenty-four hours.”

Kageyama feels nauseated. “Twenty-four hours? Are you fucking kidding me?”

The nurse throws him a bemused look, and Kageyama feels stupid.

“Didn’t you read about it in that book we got?”

Kageyama realizes he skipped over that part, figuring it wasn’t that important. “I mostly read about after the baby’s born,” he admits.

Hinata chuckles softly. “Well, it’s going to be a while. So why don’t you let her look at your face?”

“My face is fine.”

“Yeah, it’s still ugly. Please, ‘Yama. At least let her clean you up.”

Kageyama huffs softly at the dig and looks to the nurse, who is watching their exchange. “Okay, fine,” he relents.

The nurse checks his nose and declares it’s not broken, thank god. She wipes up the blood and cleans the wound on his forehead. That doesn’t need stitches either, which is good. She applies some antibiotic ointment and places a Band-Aid over the cut. When she’s done, Kageyama quietly thanks her and looks back to Hinata, who is smiling fondly.

“What?” Kageyama prompts.

“You look cute with a bandage on your forehead.”

“Whatever… dumbass,” he tacks on at the end.

As they sit there quietly, Kageyama’s anxiety begins to wane. Soon he feels his heart beating at a normal pace and the tightness in his chest has relaxed. Until he watches Hinata’s face and sees a slight grimace, probably due to pain.

“Does it hurt much?”

“Nah,” Hinata deflects. “Just feels like cramps for now. But they’re getting stronger.”

Kageyama frowns, wishing he knew what to do and say to make this better. But as usual, he’s crap with this sort of thing.

A couple of hours pass, and Kageyama is periodically pacing the small room. Hinata scrolls through his phone until a contraction hits then he grunts and scrunches up his face.

Kageyama can tell it’s getting more painful.

“Can’t they give you something for the pain?” he asks, feeling helpless.

“This isn’t anything yet, ‘Yama. It’s going to get a whole lot worse. I’ll take the drugs when it’s time.”

“When will that be?” Kageyama asks in a near whiny voice.

“I don’t know. Probably a few more hours.”

Fucking hell. This birth shit really sucks.

A couple of times, Hinata rises from the bed and walks up and down the hall, pausing when a contraction hits and bending over slightly. Kageyama waits patiently, wishing he could do something useful besides being the world’s worst wingman.

The nurse checks periodically and is encouraging, but things are moving way too slowly for Kageyama’s liking. He has texted Miwa and Yachi to tell them nothing has happened yet. He’s scrolled through his phone, he’s played Hinata’s favorite playlist.

He’s held the omega’s hand and watched his pain levels increase.

By ten that night, almost eleven hours after Hinata’s water broke, Hinata’s contractions are coming more frequently, and Kageyama can tell the pain is starting to get bad by watching the omega’s face.

After a strong contraction that had Hinata clamping Kageyama’s hand in a vice grip, Hinata collapses back on the bed. His eyes are closed, and he looks tired already. Kageyama doesn’t think that’s a good sign.

He whispers to the nurse, who is taking Hinata’s blood pressure. “Is this… is everything, like, normal? Is he okay?”

He spares a quick glance at Hinata, who he can see smiling ever so slightly.

“Yes, Mr. Hinata. Everything is normal.”

Mr. Hinata? What the fuck?

“I’m not...” he starts to say when he feels Hinata squeeze his hand. He looks over to the resting redhead and sees him shake his head almost imperceptibly. He frowns, wondering what that’s all about, why Hinata doesn’t want him to correct the nurse, but by the time he’s asked himself the question, the moment has passed, and the nurse has scurried out of the room anyway.

The next several hours are monotonous and exhausting. Hinata rests in between contractions, but they’re coming every few minutes now. Hinata has asked for the epidural, thank fuck, because watching Hinata’s contorted face and feeling him squeeze his hand has got Kageyama on edge. How do omegas do this all the time? It looks ridiculously painful and even thinking about a baby coming out… down there… is enough to make anyone squirm in their seat.

He's supposed to be the strong, competent alpha, but he has an epiphany that omegas are the stronger secondary gender, hands down.

As Kageyama’s phone is about to die around two AM, and he ruffles through Hinata’s bag for a cord, three medical staff in scrubs enter Hinata’s room wheeling a cart with them. Fucking finally. Hinata has been in labor for fourteen hours already, and Kageyama’s nerves are shot. He just wants his omega to be pain-free, just wants this baby to be born healthy and as soon as possible.

The staff talk to Hinata, tell him they’re here for his epidural, explain the procedure and what to expect. Kageyama can’t listen because his eyes are locked on the fucking gigantic needle sitting on the cart.

What the actual hell? That is not the needle that they’re going to stick into Hinata, is it? Into his spine? Is that even possible? Is it going to paralyze him? Kill him?

Kageyama can feel his heart racing and his breath catching at the thought. He glances at Hinata, who hasn’t seemed to notice the needle. That’s good.

Kageyama tells himself to play it cool, but his heart pounds wildly in his chest and his ears are whooshing. Hinata squeezes his hand, and Kageyama drags his gaze from the needle that seems more appropriate for an elephant than a human.

“Hey,” Hinata says softly. “You okay?” He looks completely exhausted, Kageyama decides. His eyes are heavy-lidded with dark circles under them. He looks pale and his hair is disheveled.

He’s the most beautiful creature Kageyama has ever seen.

“Why are you asking about me? You’re the one in pain.” And I can’t help you. I can’t make it better.

“You look worried.”

Kageyama nods as the image of that giant needle piercing Hinata’s body floats in his mind again. He shivers.

“Are you cold?” Hinata asks, looking concerned.

Why is this dumbass worried about him?

“No, I’m fine. I’m just… I just… How’s the pain?”

“It’s pretty bad, not gonna lie. It will be better once the epidural kicks in.”

Kageyama nods, and Hinata squeezes his hand again. “I’m okay, ‘Yama. And the pup is almost here. I just want to skip all of this and get to that part.”

“Yeah, me too,” Kageyama answers quietly. He reaches up to wipe the sweat-soaked bangs from Hinata’s face with his free hand. Hinata’s eyes flutter shut, and he looks so angelic that Kageyama’s heart swells.

The spell is broken by the medical staff kicking Kageyama out of the room.

“Why? I want to stay with him.”

“We don’t allow partners in the room while we administer the epidural, sir.”

“But I…”

“It’s okay, ‘Yama. I’ll be fine. Why don’t you get some coffee or something?”

Kageyama studies Hinata nervously, then looks at the stoic faces of the staff, who he’s sure are not going to change their minds.

“Fine,” he says, then reassures Hinata. “I’ll be back as soon as they’re done, okay?”

Hinata smiles, but then another contraction hits, and his face scrunches up in pain. Kageyama starts back towards him, but one of the nurses intercepts him and practically shoves him out of the door.

Grumpy at being kicked out, Kageyama stops at the bathroom, relieves himself, and splashes cold water on his face. For the first time, he gets a good look at what damage his falls did to his nose and forehead and flinches a bit. No wonder Hinata was worried. His nose is swollen and faintly bruised, and he’s got a bandage on his forehead that makes him look twelve instead of twenty-one. Like Hinata, he has dark circles under his eyes. He’s been up for more than twenty-one hours, and he’s beat.

He grabs a foul-tasting coffee from the cafeteria, ignoring the horrendous taste and focusing on the caffeine benefits. He’s back outside the room for about five minutes before the team and the cart exit. He slinks in and finds Hinata looking much the same as before.

“Are you alright? Was it okay?”

“It wasn’t pleasant, but I can already feel the effects. Contractions don’t hurt as much.”

“Good,” Kageyama says, pleased that the omega wasn’t injured with the needle from hell. “Get some rest.”

“Okay,” Hinata says sleepily. As his eyes close, he reaches out for Kageyama’s hand, and the alpha grasps it, pulling it to his lips to gently graze a kiss across the knuckles. For a moment, he freezes, blaming the exhaustion for the careless gesture, but Hinata doesn’t seem to notice, and after several heartbeats, Kageyama’s fear subsides. Still holding Hinata’s hand, he arranges himself in the hospital version of a recliner. It’s plastic or some other non-man-made material and is not very soft, but he doesn’t care too much. He reclines partially in the ugly green thing and closes his eyes as well.

As he dozes, Kageyama senses the nurse coming around to check on Hinata. He hears soft murmurs between them, the nurse telling Hinata he’s still got a ways to go, Hinata asking how much longer. But he’s so fucking tired, he doesn’t open his eyes.

As the sun comes up the next morning, he finds that not much has changed since he closed his eyes a few hours before. The next couple of hours progress with Kageyama in a hazy, sleepy trance, as he nervously oscillates between checking on Hinata and dozing himself.

He wakes with a start at around eight AM, and it takes him a moment to get his bearings and notice the time. It’s been nearly six hours since Hinata got the epidural and he’s not noticed any change. It occurs to him that might not be a good thing.

Hinata still appears to be sleeping, but the nurse is quietly tapping away at the computer, so he asks her softly, “Is everything okay? With him and the baby?”

The nurse turns to face him. “Yes, but… he’s not progressing as we expected. Usually at this point after the epidural, the patient would be more dilated, if not ready to give birth.”

Kageyama frowns as his heart stutters. “What does that mean?”

“I’ve put a call into his doctor. She’ll be coming in soon to explain and answer your questions.”

Kageyama frowns as his mind races with what-ifs. What does that mean? Is there something wrong with Hinata? With the baby? Are they going to be alright?

The omega is still sleeping, so he holds in his anxious spiraling, trying to rely on reason when his emotions are running the show. Realizing that Miwa would be awake by now, he texts his sister to tell her the news. She manages to calm him down, arguing that if the nurse doesn’t seem alarmed, he shouldn’t either. He appreciates the support but still doesn’t believe her.

A little after nine o’clock, Hinata’s doctor, Dr. Matsumoto, arrives with a resident in tow. She introduces the other doctor to Kageyama, who promptly forgets her name.

“How are you, Mr. Hinata?” the doctor asks him, and Kageyama is too tired to correct her.

“Is he okay?” he asks anxiously. “The nurse said he hasn’t been progressing right.”

The doctor smiles a reassuring, but Kageyama is convinced, fake smile. “I’m sure it will be fine, but I’m going to take a look.”

She examines Hinata, who is now awake and talking sleepily as the doctor asks him questions. After a few minutes of questions to the nurse, the doctor approaches the side of Hinata’s bed.

“Mr. Hinata, you’re not progressing as we expected. The nurse indicates you’ve not dilated any in the last few hours. That gives me concern.”

Kageyama’s heart stutters as Hinata squeezes his hand. Hinata’s voice sounds small and meek when he asks, “What does that mean?”

“Well, sometimes a mother’s body doesn’t react well to the epidural. If things slow down too much, it increases risk of infection and hemorrhage.”

“Hemorrhage?” Kageyama asks. “Like bleeding?”

“Yes,” the doctor confirms.

Kageyama’s heart drops to his chest. Hinata might bleed too much? What does that mean? Would he die? Would he need surgery? What about the baby? Is the baby going to be okay?

He’s about to ask, regardless of how crazy he sounds, when he hears Hinata’s voice, stronger than before. “What do we do?”

“I think we should wait a bit longer, maybe a couple of hours. If there’s still no progress, I will recommend a C-section.”

Hinata’s already pale face whitens even further. “I didn’t want a C-section. I wanted to have this baby the normal way.”

“I understand. No mother wants a C-section, but waiting too long in this condition, as I said, increases the risk of infection. We want you and your baby to be healthy, Mr. Hinata. That’s all I’m trying to do for you. I wouldn’t recommend this if it wasn’t necessary, I assure you. Why don’t we give it a couple of hours, see if there’s any change? It will also give you time to get used to the idea.”

Hinata mumbles his agreement, and the doctor leaves the room. Hinata refuses to look at Kageyama for several minutes as he stares at the blue designs on his white hospital gown. Finally, he lifts those big, honey eyes to Kageyama’s.

“What should I do, ‘Yama?”

“About the C-section?”

“Yes.”

Again, it occurs to him. This baby is not his. This is not his child, his family.

But as the familiar words swirl in his brain, another forceful thought barges in.

The hell it isn’t.

Hinata is his family, just as much as Miwa is. Hinata and this baby are part of his pack, and he swore a long time ago to protect them. Maybe Hinata doesn’t love him like a partner, like a boyfriend or mate, but it doesn’t matter.

This is his pack. His family. And he will do what he needs to do to protect them.

“If the doctor says that’s what you need, you should trust her. She’s been doing this a long time. She knows a lot more than us. And she’s right. We all want the same thing, for you and the baby to be healthy. I think it sounds better than infection or hemorrhaging, don’t you?”

Hinata’s eyebrows draw together slightly. “Yes, but I wanted to give birth the normal way. And surgery is going to mean a longer recovery, where I won’t be able to work or…”

“Forget about work. I know surgery is going to be painful and recovery will be hard, but if the doctor thinks it’s best, we’ll deal with everything else.”

Hinata stares at him with a thoughtful look. His brown eyes are probing, his head is cocked slightly to the side.

“Okay. Okay. I… I will do it if I have to. For the baby.”

“For the baby,” Kageyama reassures him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

 

+++

 

Later that morning, more than twenty-four hours after Hinata first went into labor, the doctor suggests a C-section is prudent, and Hinata agrees. As soon as the doctor gives the word, the lull and quiet of the room are taken over by busy nurses. Kageyama is told he needs to come with a new nurse who has just entered the room.

“Why?” Kageyama asks.

The nurse responds, “We’ve got to suit you up, Daddy.”

Daddy? Suit up? What the fucking hell are they talking about?

“We’re getting you ready for your mate’s surgery, Mr. Hinata,” says the nurse as if he’s talking to a child. Kageyama is again reeling from the ‘mate’ label and his apparent new name of Hinata as he glances at Hinata. A nurse is getting him ready to wheel to surgery as well.

Hinata looks over and sends him a reassuring smile. “Go ahead, ‘Yama. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you in there, Daddy,” he adds with a wink. Kageyama can feel his face heat with embarrassment, but he doesn’t have time to dwell on it, because the nurse is practically dragging him to another room.

“It will be fine. Doc does these all the time. No problem,” the nurse assures him.

“Hmph,” Kageyama offers by way of reply as the nurse hands him a gown to put on over his clothes, a surgical cap, and covers for his shoes.

Before he knows it, Kageyama is being led to a room that he assumes is the operating room. There are probably eight or nine people in there, scurrying around, and Hinata is in the center of the room on a gurney.

“You can go to him,” the nurse assures him. “Just try to stay out of the way.”

Kageyama approaches, noticing again how pale Hinata appears. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m all drugged up and ready to go,” he assures Kageyama as a scrub-clad person erects a screen over Hinata’s belly, blocking their view from the surgical area.

The doctor swoops in, followed by the same resident. They’re both in surgical gear. Dr. Matsumoto comes to stand next to Hinata’s head. “Ready to meet your baby?”

Hinata manages a brave smile. “Yes.”

“Let’s do it then. What do you say? Boy or girl?” she asks as she approaches the foot of the bed.

“I say girl,” Hinata offers. What about you, ‘Yama?”

“I say a boy.”

“Well, one of you is going to be right,” Dr. Matsumoto says cheerfully. “Okay, Mr. Hinata, I’m going to start now. You won’t feel anything, and your baby will be here within a few minutes.”

Hinata reaches out a hand, which Kageyama gratefully accepts, as he is scared too. He prays for a safe birth, for a healthy baby, for everything to go according to plan.

He is distracted by Hinata saying, “What do I get if I win?”

“What? You mean if it’s a girl?”

“Yes,” Hinata says, looking at him with that evil, shit-eating grin he gets. Kageyama plays along.

“You get a baby girl, dumbass.”

“That’s not what I mean, idiot.”

“What do you want then?”

“I don’t know. You can do my laundry for a month.”

“Pfft. I probably will be doing that anyway since you’re having surgery.”

“Well, then you can…”

Hinata is cut off by the doctor’s exclamation, “It’s a girl!” followed by a small squawk that Kageyama knows must be the sound of a baby. They both look over, but can’t see anything past the screen, then they turn back to each other and lock eyes for several heartbeats.

“A girl,” Hinata whispers, awestruck. “I win this time, ‘Yama.”

Kageyama smiles because he doesn’t care one single fuck about losing this one. He’s about to reply when a nurse comes toward them holding an impossibly tiny, purple squiggly thing that Kageyama thinks looks more like an alien than a baby. She places the baby on Hinata’s chest and they both stare at the tiny pup with disbelief.

Hinata places his hand on her tiny back and slowly and gently moves it up to her head, which is covered with a coat of fine, ginger fuzz. She makes a tiny, grunting noise that is so weak and cute, Kageyama drops to his knees beside the bed. He stares at her little face, one chubby cheek pressed against Hinata’s chest. She has Hinata’s nose, he realizes right away.

“She looks like you, dumbass,” he says with awe, as he feels a tear slip down one cheek. He hears Hinata chuckle and looks up to find his eyes similarly wet.

“I guess the red-haired genes are strong,” Hinata argues, petting over her gently as she snuggles more closely to his skin.

“She’s… she’s beautiful, Hinata. Perfect. You… you did good.”

“She is perfect and beautiful. Thank you for everything.”

Kageyama wants to respond but can’t manage it past the lump that has suddenly formed in his throat. He chokes down whatever embarrassing noise was prepared to bubble up against his will, and stares at the pair in front of him. The sweet baby, a perfect replica of Shoyo, with her round cheeks and cute nose and red hair. Then he looks up to Hinata, eyes wide and loving and honest. Those eyes which are always so pretty anyway, now shine brightly with that sparkle Kageyama has seen before, along with the tears that are threatening to spill over.

He loves him.

This omega, this man who came into his life eight months ago and turned it upside down. Who he bickers with and bakes with and competes with. And in that moment, Kageyama can’t imagine a life without Hinata, a life without this person who has made him feel alive for the first time in a very long time.

The love bubbles inside him, growing and strengthening until it’s too big and too powerful to contain in his body anymore.

Kageyama reaches out a hand to cover Hinata’s where it rests on the baby’s back, and says, “Hinata, I need to tell you something. I…”

“Sorry, Mr. Hinata, but I’ve got to run a few quick tests and get her cleaned up. I’ll give her right back I promise.” The baby lets out a tiny cry at the loss of warmth as the nurse gently picks her up and brings her to a table where she works efficiently but silently. Both Kageyama’s and Hinata’s eyes follow the baby as she’s carried away, and Kageyama swallows with effort.

What the fuck had he almost done?

He had almost confessed his love to a man who was still being sewn back together, who had just gone through the trauma of surgery, who relied on him for a job and a place to live. How could he be so selfish to almost unburden himself at this point when Hinata is so vulnerable?

Again, Kageyama reminds himself that if Hinata doesn’t return his feelings, he might feel like his job or home is in jeopardy. That he might feel pressured to accept Kageyama’s confession because he has no choice.

Only an asshole would do that.

Kageyama is not about to be an asshole.

“What were you going to say?” Hinata says a moment later, turning his amber eyes back to Kageyama.

“Nothing. Just… I’m proud of you. And I’m happy for you. She’s beautiful. And you’re going to be a great mom.”

Hinata smiles warmly, and his eyes seem to search Kageyama’s for something, but Kageyama can’t tell what. But before he has time to ask, the nurse has returned the baby, wrapped in a blanket and a ridiculously small pink hat. She looks like a burrito – a very adorable burrito – and the moment is lost.

 

+++

 

Later, when Hinata is done with surgery and Kageyama is back in street clothes, they are back in the hospital room with “Baby Girl Hinata” as she is currently called, still burritoed up and resting in a small baby bed next to Hinata’s hospital bed.

While Hinata is still a little out of it due to the anesthesia, Kageyama calls Miwa to tell her the news.

“Tobio? Is it over? Is the baby here?”

“Yes, o-nee-chan. It’s a girl. Just under three kilograms and forty-six centimeters. [That’s six pounds, nine ounces and 18.1 inches for U.S. readers.]

“Oh, that’s wonderful. How is Hinata?”

“He’s still a little out of it from the surgery, but everything went fine.”

“How are you, little brother?”

“Exhausted.” Kageyama looks at the clock and realizes it’s three PM. He’s been up for, what, maybe thirty? Thirty-four hours? It’s hard to do math with his brain so foggy.

“I bet. Can I come up later to visit?”

“I’ll check with Hinata to see if it’s okay. I’ll text you later. Can you please let Sugawara-san and Kiyoko-san know as well? I’m sure Hinata would want them to be told quickly. I’ve already texted Yachi.”

“Will do. Please tell Hinata congratulations for me. See you soon, Tobio. Love you.”

“Love you too, sis.”

Kageyama disconnects the call and turns to find Hinata eying him with half-lidded, hazy eyes. “Was that Miwa-san?” he asks. His voice sounds a little scratchy, but Kageyama just thinks it’s cute.

“Yeah. She says congratulations and that she will tell Sugawara-san and Kiyoko-san for us.”

“That’s good,” Hinata mumbles.

Kageyama comes to the side of the bed and examines Hinata more closely. “How are you feeling?” he asks, realizing that now he knows the baby is fine, his concern has shifted to Hinata.

“Okay. Still a little out of it.”

“Yeah, the nurse said it would take a while to wear off.”

Hinata shifts his eyes to the sleeping infant next to the bed. “She’s amazing. I can’t really believe she’s here.”

“I know. Me either,” Kageyama says sympathetically. “Did you decide on a name?”

“Yeah. I’m going to name her Natsuki.”

Kageyama smiles because that’s the name he likes too. “It’s beautiful, and it suits her.”

“I think we’ll call her Suki.”

“Sounds good.”

Hinata nods with satisfaction. “I’m going to rest now. You’ll tell me if she wakes up?”

“Of course,” Kageyama agrees. He douses the lights so it’s not quite so bright and arranges himself as comfortably as he can manage in the ugly chair.

He’s awoken a while later by a small, squawking sound and it takes him a minute to remember where he is. Ah, yes. Hinata’s baby.

Natsuki.

He shakes his head and lifts himself from the chair. He takes the few steps to the baby’s crib and peeks in. She’s squirming and making soft, cooing sounds that are irresistibly cute. He looks over and sees Hinata is still conked out, so he decides to try to hold the baby off for a bit to let Hinata sleep.

He ever-so-gently pats her back. “There, there, Suki,” he whispers. “It’s okay.”

She squirms some more and lets out a louder noise that sounds a bit angrier. He looks over, but Hinata hasn’t budged. Deciding to spare Hinata as much as possible, he reaches down to pick up the tiny pup.

He realizes she is so small that her feet don’t even reach to his elbow as he holds her head in his hand. She squirms a little more and makes more cute baby noises, so he tucks her into the crook of his arm, still amazed at how small she is. As he whispers softly to her, he bounces slightly. He doesn’t know where he learned to do that, but he figures it’s just instinct. A moment after the bouncing starts, Suki quiets down, and Kageyama continues to move her gently to keep her content.

After a moment, he starts walking around the room, whispering sweet and silly things to her. “You’re finally here. Your momma has been anxious to meet you. You’re gonna love him so much. He’s amazing. And you look just like him, which is good, so good.”

A brief image of that fucking asshole, what’s his name, flashes in Kageyama’s mind, but he pushes it aside. Sunada deserves not so much as a fleeting thought.

“When you come home, you can meet our cat, Mikeneko. She’s usually sweet, unless she’s trying to kill me, or is looking at me like I’m pitiful or stupid. But I’m sure she’ll like you.”

It occurs to Kageyama to be a little worried about the baby around the cat. He makes a mental note to discuss it with Hinata so they can keep Suki safe.

“You are so beautiful, Suki. Just like your momma. But don’t tell him I said so because that dumbass will get all smug and self-satisfied and probably tease me about it until we’re eighty.”

The baby doesn’t answer him, of course, and Kageyama chances a look over at the hospital bed. Hinata is still breathing evenly and deeply, so he’s probably still asleep. Good. Can’t have Hinata knowing he thinks he’s beautiful.

“I’m not your daddy, but I promise I’m going to take care of you and your momma, okay? You’re part of my pack, and I’m going to make sure you are safe and happy. And I’m going to spoil you, and love you, just like I love your momma. And maybe someday when I don’t think he’ll feel pressured to accept me, I’ll tell him that I love him. That I love you and I want us to be a family. And maybe, if I’m very, very lucky, he’ll accept me.”

He looks down at the baby, embarrassed by the words that he allowed to flow off his tongue. She is still sleeping, her little lips puckering slightly every few seconds, but she is quiet and still. He glances over at Hinata, suddenly afraid he might have been heard, but after several seconds, there is no movement from the hospital bed either.

Kageyama breathes easy knowing his confession is still his secret.

 

+++

 

Three days later, Hinata is back to his lively self, though his movements are limited due to his incision, and they are ready to take the baby home. Miwa and Yachi came to visit, as did Suga and Kiyoko. Kageyama is feeling more confident holding Suki, and he admits to himself, if no one else, that he enjoys the feel of the pup in his arms when he’s able to get her away from her momma.

He’s standing in the room, doing that bouncy thing that he suddenly started doing the first day Suki was born. He knows that he mostly doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, but he’s long past being embarrassed by it, even though Hinata has teased him about it.

Hinata is sitting up in bed, filling out a bunch of forms he needs to complete before they bring Suki home. Kageyama isn’t paying much attention to Hinata as he silently scribbles on the papers, but then Kageyama feels a set of eyes on him. He looks up to find Hinata staring at him intently.

“What?” Kageyama asks.

Hinata stares for another several seconds. He opens his mouth, then closes it. His eyes continue to focus on Kageyama for a second, then drop down to the baby for several heartbeats before rising back up to Kageyama’s face again.

“Nothing,” he mumbles, turning back to the stack of papers. “I just can’t wait to get out of here.”

Kageyama cocks his head to the side, almost certain Hinata is lying, or at least hiding something, but when he’s just about to question his friend, the nurse comes back in.

“Almost ready to go, Mr. Hinata?”

“Yes,” Hinata answers. “All done.” He gathers the papers and hands them to the nurse but refuses to look at Kageyama. Kageyama knows something is wrong but figures he will ask Hinata later. He also is dying to leave the hospital and get back to their apartment where they can be comfortable.

Even if their cat sometimes tries to murder them.

The nurse takes the papers, checks them over, and stacks them neatly by the computer. “All set then.”

She leaves the room briefly to get a wheelchair, then returns and helps Hinata into it while Kageyama nestles Suki into the car seat and buckles her in. He checks the restraints three times but then allows the nurse to check them as well, knowing Suki’s safety is way more important than his stupid alpha pride.

When they’re ready, the nurse wheels Hinata out of the room, and Kageyama follows with Hinata’s bag in one hand, and Hinata Natsuki in the other.

 

///

Notes:

The baby is named after Natsuki Kizu, the creator of Given, which I’m totally obsessed with. Any other Given fans out there?

I also thought Hinata would like a name similar to his sister because he misses her so much.

Chapter 18: Baby Life

Summary:

The couple adjusts to a baby in the house.

When the pair arrives home from the hospital, Kageyama carries the baby in the car seat in one hand and steadies Hinata with the other. Hinata is sore, and moving this much hurts, but he grits his teeth as they slowly ascend the stairs to the apartment. The baby is asleep in the car seat, so Kageyama sets her down and tries to help Hinata into the bed.

It soon becomes apparent to Hinata that trying to get into a regular bed is awkward and painful with his incision. He feels tears of pain sting his eyes as he tries to move his body into position, but soon gives up.

“’Yama, this hurts too much. Maybe I should sit in the recliner. Maybe even sleep there.”

Kageyama has that cute frown on his face, with that little crease between his eyebrows and Hinata knows it’s his concerned look.

“Okay, let’s get you over there. Go slow. Take it easy.”

Hinata shuffles to the recliner in the living room and sits down gingerly. He sighs with relief when he can relax his muscles. He raises the footrest and closes his eyes, waiting for the pain to subside.

“Do you need some painkillers?” Kageyama asks. When Hinata opens his eyes, Kageyama’s concerned face has morphed into a more intense worry.

“Yeah, that would be great.”

Kageyama gets Hinata the pills and a cup of water. He sets it up so that Hinata has his phone and the TV’s remote on the table by his side, as well as the pills, tissues and his drink. He leaves the room and comes back carrying the car seat and sets it on the sofa so that Hinata can watch the sleeping pup. She’s covered with a blue blanket with trains on it, and her impossibly small face peeks out with her head covered by a tiny pink hat. Her lips are pursed as if she’s puckering up for a kiss.

For a moment, they both just stare at her, marveling.

Hinata’s eyes start to water, and he curses himself for being ridiculous.

Kageyama notices, because of course he does. “What’s wrong? Is it the pain?”

“Nah,” Hinata answers, feeling silly. “I’m just… overwhelmed. I can’t believe she’s here. And she’s perfect, isn’t she?”

He looks up and Kageyama has a dorky smile on his face too. “Yeah, she’s perfect. You did good, Hinata.”

“Yeah,” Hinata agrees, pushing the word past the lump in his throat. It comes out hoarse.

Before this child was born, before he held her in his arms, he could not have fathomed in his wildest dreams the depths of the love he could have for a person he just met. But he laid eyes on her and it was love at first sight. And he knew immediately, he would do anything for this child, give anything, be anything to ensure she was safe and happy. The feeling, though he knew it was natural, was still new and overpowering. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to it.

He fights the tears, though he doesn’t know why. He’s been cut open, he’s now responsible for a newborn and his hormones are running rampant, so he should allow himself the indulgence.

“Anything I get you?” Kageyama asks.

“Maybe a blanket. I think I’m going to close my eyes for a while. I hate to admit it, but just the short trip from the hospital has made me feel tired.”

“Of course,” Kageyama agrees, and brings him a small throw from his bedroom. “Anything else?”

“No, I’m good. Thanks, ‘Yama,” Hinata says, his eyes already closed.

 

+++

 

Hinata is startled awake by Suki’s cries a couple of hours later. He looks over and sees her face scrunched up as she squawks, and he guesses she must be hungry again. He tosses the blanket to the side and lowers the recliner’s footrest but before he can stand, Kageyama zooms into the room.

“Sit down, dumbass. I’ll get her.”

“I can do it,” Hinata insists.

“You just had surgery. Sit down and rest. I’ll change her and bring her back.”

Hinata is not going to argue with Kageyama when he’s offering to make his life easier, so Hinata sits back down and watches as Kageyama takes the crying infant from the car seat, shooshing her and cooing to her until she calms down. Hinata waits as his friend disappears into the baby’s nursery, then emerges a few minutes later with a calmer baby, who he hands to Hinata to feed.

“Thanks, ‘Yama,” Hinata says, accepting his daughter from the alpha. He tries not to think about how adorable Kageyama looks carrying his pup so carefully.

As Hinata feeds her, Kageyama puts the car seat into the front closet and gets the bassinet from the nursery. He arranges the small baby bed next to Hinata’s chair, so it is within arm's reach.

“How’s that, do you think?”

Hinata looks over and smiles, feeling pampered and not minding one bit.

“It’s good. Thanks.”

For the rest of the day, Kageyama dotes on Hinata and the baby alike. He gets Hinata food and drinks and blankets, cooks dinner, and lets Hinata choose the baking shows they watch. He even escorts Hinata to the bathroom. Hinata jokes and asks if Kageyama is going to come in with him while he pees, and gets a “Shut up, dumbass” as Kageyama closes the door behind him and waits outside while he relieves himself.

After the third time Hinata finds Kageyama peeking at the baby while she’s sleeping in the bassinet one foot from him, he asks, “Kageyama, what are you doing?”

“Just checking on her.”

“She’s right next to me. She’s fine,” Hinata insists.

“I know. But I just wanted to see for myself.”

Hinata chuckles at the alpha’s protectiveness while he simultaneously pushes down his omega’s instincts that tell him this alpha would be the perfect mate.

He already knew that anyway.

When it’s time for bed, they decide Hinata will sleep in the recliner to avoid the awkwardness of trying to lie in bed. Hinata gets comfortable in the chair and covers himself with the blanket but is surprised when Kageyama stretches out on the sofa next to him with his own quilt.

“’Yama, what are you doing?”

“Going to sleep?”

“I mean, why are you sleeping out here?”

“I want to be close when she wakes up. Or if you need something.”

Hinata is a bit surprised at the answer. He didn’t expect Kageyama to take his comfort quite this seriously, but he should have. Kageyama is a caretaker at heart.

He maybe, just maybe, falls in love a little bit more.

“Okay, well, thank you.”

“Get some rest. She’ll be awake in another couple of hours.”

At first, time is blurred together with the same routine every few hours. The baby cries and Kageyama gets up to get her. He brings her to the nursery to change her diaper, then brings her back to Hinata to feed. Hinata tries to stay awake while he’s feeding her, but regularly dozes off, until Kageyama snaps at him, “Dumbass, wake up.”

When the pup is fed and asleep, Kageyama will lay her back down carefully in the bassinet. Sometimes she’s fussy though and will immediately cry if she’s laid down. At those times, Kageyama holds her against his broad shoulder and walks her around the room, gently patting her back and talking softly or humming or singing. Hinata can hear him cooing and humming, and his heart expands again.

But the singing – that is just wrong.

“You suck at singing, ‘Yama,” Hinata mumbles from his position on the chair.

“Shut up. She doesn’t care,” Kageyama bites back, then in a softer voice, he addresses the pup, “Do you, aka-chan? Tell your momma to mind her own business.”

“Suki is my business.”

“My singing is not.”

Hinata can only laugh. He admits to himself the sight of his crush doting on his pup is doing funny things to his stomach. When Kageyama hands the now calm baby back to Hinata, he takes her and flushes when he realizes Kageyama scented her to calm her.

Fucking hell, his omega is not going to survive this.

 

+++

 

Kageyama announces on the morning of the second day home that he’s closed the bakery for a couple of weeks.

“You don’t have to do that just to stay with me all day. I’ll be alright alone for a few hours.”

“No, someone needs to be here to help you. It’s fine.”

“But you’ll lose business,” Hinata argues.

“It’s fine. Business is really good lately. Your ideas have really helped.”

Hinata flushes slightly at the compliment. “But what about Yachi?”

“I gave her the time off with pay. And she is posting on our socials that we’re closing for a while due to the birth of your baby, and everyone is really supportive.”

“They are? I’ll have to check that out.”

“Yes, so stop arguing.”

“I’m not arguing. I’m just pointing out that I don’t need a full-time babysitter.”

“Until your wound heals a little more, you do need one.”

“Fine,” Hinata huffs.

“Fine,” Kageyama retorts. He walks into the kitchen to make dinner, but Hinata isn’t too upset. He appreciates the help and, honestly, feels all warm and fuzzy that the alpha is taking such good care of him.

Later that day, Suki wakes up from a nap, and Kageyama brings her into the nursery to change her diaper. The door is open so Hinata can hear him talking softly to the pup.

“Oh, no, aka-chan. Your pajamas are wet. We can’t have that, can we? Let’s get you changed.”

Hinata smiles as he imagines Kageyama’s large hands working with the tiny diaper that probably isn’t even as big as his palms. He hears him giving the baby a play-by-play and his heart swells some more.

“Okay, Suki, we’re just going to get rid of this old nasty diaper, okay? We’re going to get you all clean. There, doesn’t that feel better? Okay, here’s a nice dry diaper now so you’re all set. What should we wear, do you think, the pink or the blue?”

Hinata imagines Kageyama holding up the two onesies with the blueberries and strawberries that they bought at the store.

“The blue? Good choice. No gender stereotypes for you, am I right?”

Hinata feels the smile split his face open, and his heart feels like exploding. Kageyama is like, a real daddy to Suki, and suddenly, Hinata feels the need to confess, to ask Kageyama to be theirs, his and Suki’s.

But as usual, he chickens out within seconds of the idea. This is no time to complicate things between them. What if Kageyama doesn’t think of him in that way? It would be so awkward and embarrassing, and it’s not like Hinata can move out when he’s five days postpartum.

No, he’ll just wait. He’ll tell him when the time is right. Maybe.

Later that night, Hinata insists that he really needs a shower because he can barely stand to smell himself anymore. As the baby dozes in the bassinet, Kageyama helps Hinata to the bathroom, which is great, but refuses to leave him alone, which is not.

“For fuck’s sake, I can take a shower by myself, ‘Yama.”

“Don’t swear around the baby.”

“The baby is in the other room!”

“Whatever,” Kageyama answers as he runs the shower to warm the water.

“Are you going to, what, watch me??” Hinata asks, realizing his voice is squeaking.

Kageyama turns and scoffs. “Of course not. But I’m not going to leave you in here alone. You might slip and fall, and you could bang your head or rip out your stitches.”

“I think I’ll be alright.”

“Well, I’m not taking chances with your safety,” Kageyama insists, crossing his arms over his chest. Hinata is pissed, but not so much that he doesn’t appreciate the flexing of Kageyama’s biceps and forearms as he assumes the determined stance.

Hinata debates how much to argue and decides it isn’t worth it. “Fine. But turn around. I don’t want you looking at me like some creepy old man.”

Kageyama rolls his eyes but complies, and Hinata quickly undresses and steps into the shower, pulling the shower curtain closed to afford himself some privacy. He washes quickly and tries to ignore the fact that the object of his very dirty fantasies stands just a few feet away from him. While he’s naked.

Fuck.

He senses some new shower-related fantasies forming in his horny mind, but forcefully pushes them away while he finishes washing. When he turns the water off, he sees a towel being passed to him from behind the curtain and takes it to dry off. He wraps the towel around his waist and pulls the curtain back, suddenly feeling shy.

Kageyama’s gaze only briefly scans his body and then focuses on his feet, and Hinata cringes inwardly. Of course he wouldn’t be attractive to a strong, handsome alpha like Kageyama. He’s just had a baby, and though his belly is flat now, the skin is flabby, and he has stretch marks. Hinata swallows hard, pushing down the feeling of inadequacy. When would he ever be attractive enough for someone like Kageyama, who could have any omega he wanted?

Kageyama hands him clean clothes and turns his back so Hinata can dress. Hinata tries not to feel sad that he no longer needs to borrow Kageyama’s sweatpants and shirts, but part of him absolutely feels the loss.

To distract himself from his pitiful thoughts, he complains, “You don’t need to be with me every minute, you know.”

Kageyama doesn’t turn around, but replies, “When I’m sure you’re not going to fall and hurt yourself, I’ll leave you alone.”

“Hmph,” Hinata answers as he finishes dressing.

 

+++

 

After three days back home, Hinata wants to try to get back into his bed, as he’s dying to sleep lying down. That night, with Kageyama’s help, he manages to get into bed without it hurting too much, and he relaxes and sighs deeply. Kageyama hands him the sleeping baby, and Hinata waits while Kageyama brings the bassinet into his room and situates it right next to his bed. From this distance, he can pick Suki up by only leaning over. It’s perfect.

Kageyama places the baby monitor on Hinata’s bedside table, says goodnight, switches off the bedroom light, and slips from the room.

The silence is deafening.

For the first time in days – how many has it even been, six maybe? – Kageyama is not in the same room with him. It feels strange.

Lonely.

Hinata physically shakes his head to fend off the melancholy thoughts. It’s not as if Kageyama is going to be with him all the time, that’s just not possible, so he’d better just get used to it now rather than later.  At some point, he’s going to have to learn to take care of Suki by himself. Because at some point, Kageyama is going to not be around. At some point, he’s going to find a partner and leave Hinata and Suki behind.

At some point, they are going to be peripheral to his life.

Hinata sighs and accepts the thought as something he will deal with when it’s time. Right now, he’s happy to be back in his own bed, and to get some much-needed sleep before his pup needs him again.

Hinata wakes to Suki’s squawks from her bassinet. He must have dropped into a deep sleep because he feels groggy as he tries to get his bearings. He sits up and switches on the bedside lamp, rubbing his eyes and checking the time on his phone. He’s about to get out of bed when Kageyama enters the room.

The alpha looks exhausted with dark circles under his eyes and his hair sticking up at odd angles.

He looks adorably grumpy.

“I’ll get her. Stay there,” Kageyama says.

He scoops up the tiny infant and immediately starts talking to her as he takes her from the room. “Hey there, aka-chan. Are you ready to eat again so you can grow up big and strong? Let’s get that wet diaper changed first, okay? Then I’ll take you back to momma.”

Hinata sits himself up in bed with pillows propped behind his back and waits for the pair to return. When Kageyama returns, he has the baby nestled in the crook of his arm. She looks miniscule in his big arms, and Hinata is sure Kageyama’s biceps are as big as the pup’s head. His omega instincts immediately rise to the surface, telling him that this alpha is good and strong, will protect them, will make an excellent mate.

Fucking hell, I know, okay! he yells to his omega in his head.

Kageyama hands Hinata his pup and sits on the bed while Hinata feeds her. The baby eats her fill, then promptly falls asleep again, so Kageyama gently picks her up and places her in the bassinet. He gruffly tells Hinata to go back to sleep, flicks off the light and leaves the room. Hinata is torn between annoyance at the salty tone and affection for the alpha’s sweetness.

A few hours later, the whole process is repeated. Kageyama comes into Hinata’s room, gets the baby to change her, then brings her back. When she’s asleep, he sets her down and goes back to his own bedroom.

At five o’clock in the morning, Suki is up again, and Kageyama trudges again into Hinata’s room. He looks exhausted still, and it’s sort of scary looking at this point. Hinata is starting to think this is kind of stupid, so when Kageyama hands the freshly changed baby to Hinata to feed her, Hinata says, “You don’t need to go back to your room every time. Why don’t you lie down here? It’s so much closer.”

Kageyama looks stricken for a moment, and Hinata immediately regrets the offer. His first thought is that Kageyama must be afraid – or appalled – at the idea of sleeping next to Hinata.

But when Kageyama speaks, Hinata doesn’t get that sense at all. He realizes the alpha is worried about him. As usual.

“You wouldn’t mind? I’ll take up room in your bed, and you may not be able to rest very well.”

Fuck. Why does Kageyama need to be so thoughtful and considerate all the time? It’s killing him.

“I can’t move around much anyway, and it will be easier on you. Come on,” Hinata says, patting the bed next to him.

Kageyama looks like he’s considering it, then must give in to his exhaustion. “Okay, if you’re sure.” He climbs into Hinata’s bed and situates himself practically at the edge, as far away from Hinata as possible without actually falling out. Hinata rolls his eyes but says nothing.

Kageyama dozes off while Hinata feeds Suki. When her belly is full and she’s off in dreamland again, Hinata reaches over and lays her carefully in her bassinet. He looks over and sees Kageyama is out cold. Hinata smiles. Kageyama is a big, dumb alpha, but he’s pretty great. He switches off the light and promptly falls asleep himself.

The baby wakes again just after eight o’clock. When he hears her right next to him, Hinata opens his eyes and blinks them rapidly to get his bearings. He feels movement beside him and is temporarily surprised until he remembers Kageyama agreed to sleep next to him.

Hinata looks over and the sight of sleepy Kageyama is too adorable to handle. He’s frowning as he stirs, and his bangs form a messy curtain over his forehead. He looks beautiful there in the morning light that slices through the gaps in curtains, all perfect angles and planes. He finally opens his eyes and blinks a few times before he focuses on Hinata, who finds himself embarrassed to be caught staring.

Kageyama seems as surprised as Hinata was to wake up with someone next to him, and he immediately bolts from the bed. “Sorry I didn’t hear her right away.”

The idea that Kageyama couldn’t wait to get out of his bed stings Hinata’s pride.

“It’s fine, ‘Yama. I can change her.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m up,” the alpha says, scooping up the baby in his capable hands as if he’s been caring for babies for years and not just a week. Hinata can’t help but admire Kageyama’s broad form as he leaves the room carrying his child.

He has to tell his omega to shut up again as it chants that it wants alpha for a mate.

 

+++

 

The next week or so is a blur. Hinata is exhausted from broken sleep and still sore from his surgery, though the pain is lessening, and he’s getting more range of movement back. He’s convinced Kageyama that he can take showers on his own now, though he’s not sure if that was a victory because now he doesn’t have a hunky alpha staring at his mostly naked body.

Their days revolve around the newborn pup’s schedule. Hinata gives her her first bath in the kitchen sink, which Kageyama scoured three times with various cleaners to make sure it didn’t have germs. Kageyama watches with fascination and snaps pictures with his phone as Hinata gently cups water in his hand and pours it over her ginger fuzz. The baby seems unhappy with the whole ordeal and fusses until she is out of the water and wrapped in a rubber ducky towel.

Hinata is sure that Kageyama has already amassed a thousand pictures in Suki’s first week alone. Besides the bath pics, there are pictures of each of them holding her, pictures of her sleeping or with her tiny fist in her mouth. There’s an adorable picture of Mikeneko peering over Hinata’s shoulder from the back of the recliner and examining the baby with her usual feline contempt. There are pics of Suki making faces, pursing her tiny lips, or scowling. Hinata jokes that the baby looks like Kageyama when she scowls, and it earns him a “Shut up, dumbass.”

Their one-week visit to the doctor goes well. The baby has gained weight just like she’s supposed to, and Hinata’s incision and stitches are healing as well.

The day after their doctor’s appointment, Miwa comes to visit. She brings a gift for the baby, some adorable pink and purple dresses with matching headbands with giant bows.

“What are these?” Kageyama says, holding up a bow that is about twice the width of Suki’s head.

“Bows, of course, Tobio. You know, so people know she’s a girl.”

“We don’t do gender stereotypes in this house, o-nee-chan.”

Hinata stifles a giggle while Miwa stares daggers at Kageyama.

To her credit, Miwa ignores Kageyama’s words and asks to hold the baby. She talks with both of them as the baby sleeps in her arms and she repeatedly compliments Hinata on how sweet and adorable the pup is. When the baby wakes up, Kageyama stands and takes her from his sister, then leaves the room, talking to the infant in soft tones.

Miwa looks stunned, or maybe just thoughtful, Hinata thinks. But she’s definitely got something to say.

She turns to him to say, “He’s very good with her.” There’s more than just a casual observation behind her words, Hinata is sure.

Hinata smiles despite himself. “Yeah, he’s great with her. He’s been such a big help. I could not do this without him.”

She studies him for a couple of seconds before asking, “And how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. Still a little sore. Exhausted for sure. But good.”

“And Tobio? How has he been?”

For some reason, Hinata senses this is dangerous territory. Miwa has said things in the past that make Hinata suspect that she knows how he feels about her brother. He answers carefully, not wanting to say anything too revealing.

“He’s been good. Tired. But he seems to like having her around. He takes a ton of pictures. Want to see?” Hinata takes out his phone to share some with her.

She oohs and aahs as she looks on. While Hinata swipes through dozens of pictures, Miwa asks, “So, has Tobio said…”

But she is cut off when Kageyama comes back into the room with a wide-awake Suki, who is gnawing at her hand.

“She’s hungry,” Kageyama declares. “At least I think so since she’s trying to eat her hand.”

Kageyama hands the baby to Hinata, and Hinata sees Miwa studying Kageyama warily.

“Well, I should be going. Will you walk me to my car, Tobio? Goodbye, Hinata. Congratulations, again.”

“Thank you, Miwa-san.”

The two leave the apartment, and Kageyama comes back a few minutes later, frowning more than usual. Hinata has a feeling Miwa said something to Kageyama, and he’s dying to know what it was. Did she tell him that she thinks Hinata has a thing for him? Oh, god, please no. Did she comment about the baby or Kageyama’s caretaking role? No, that didn’t seem like her.

Hinata’s curiosity is killing him.

“Everything okay?” he asks, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Yeah,” Kageyama answers without meeting his eyes. “What do you want for lunch?”

Hinata asks for a sandwich, but his mind is on whatever Miwa said to Kageyama. His heart pounds foolishly, whether from suspected doom or anticipation, he doesn’t know. All he knows is that Kageyama looks upset but won’t talk about it.

That night as they ready for bed, Hinata reflects on how wonderfully strange it feels to have Kageyama sleep in his bed with him. He knows it’s his omega that feels safer with the alpha close by him and his pup, but he tells his stupid omega to shut up.

Because Kageyama is not his alpha.

However, as usual, his omega doesn’t listen to reason and only reacts to instincts. As they fall asleep that night, Hinata remains awake for a while thinking. He would love to tell Kageyama how he feels but is terrified of being rejected, of Suki being essentially rejected as well. He knows Kageyama dotes on the baby, but he doesn’t know how the alpha feels about him. Kageyama has never given any indication that he has feelings for Hinata that go beyond friends."

“‘Yama,” he whispers.

No answer.

“Kageyama.”

Still no answer, no rustling, no movement of any kind. Kageyama’s breathing is steady and even, and he doesn’t move a muscle. Hinata doesn’t dare to speak any louder lest he wake up Suki. Plus he figures if Kageyama is that dead asleep, he must really need the rest. They both do. So he’s being stupid. Again.

Hinata takes a deep breath and whispers to Kageyama’s sleeping form. “Thank you, ‘Yama, for taking such good care of me and Suki. You’re a good alpha. You’re going to make some omega very happy someday.”

He pauses, surprised by the twisting in his heart when he thinks about Kageyama with another omega.

He continues, knowing if he weren’t whispering, his voice would crack.

“I wish it were me. I wish you wanted me like that, like a mate. That you wanted me, all of me, like I want you. I wish you would give me some sort of sign, anything that would tell me you feel the same. But I guess I’m just being stupid. It’s been eight months. If you were going to make a move, you would have by now.”

Hinata pauses, wounded by his own words.

“But anyway, regardless of how you feel about me, I love you. I always will. And whatever happens in the future, even if you go off with another omega and live a happy life, I’ll never forget what you did for me and my pup, how you cared for us when we needed it. You’re a good man, Kageyama Tobio. A very good man.”

Hinata chokes back the sob threatening in the back of his throat. The idea of Kageyama with another omega makes him feel like vomiting. It might happen sometime. Kageyama might start dating, might find a real partner. And if that happens, Hinata is going to have to either watch it or leave, and both options sound like the epitome of living hell.

He swallows down the nausea, blinks back the burning behind his eyes and tells himself to be thankful for what he does have. He has someone to help him, to care for him, even if that is only as a friend, and that is far more than he anticipated when he found out he was pregnant.

He tells himself he will be grateful for each day, for this child of his, for the joy she’s brought to him.

And he vows he will try not to be so greedy as to want what he can’t have.

 

///

Notes:

So, I’ve been pretty depressed lately. I finally don’t have to work 60 hours per week, but I feel like I need a month to recover. Plus everything going on in the world, it’s been pretty bleak. I’ve put off the release of Mine To Protect yet again, probably into 2025 now, and I’m bitter over it. I want to quit my job and write all day, but I can’t. Anyway, I can write about gay volleyball players, so that’s what I’m doing.

Chapter 19: Wanting

Summary:

Kageyama goes back to work at the bakery and Hinata has a birthday.

Notes:

This is a short chapter because I wanted to switch to Hinata’s POV for the next chapter where things will really start to heat up. So buckle up, cause the good stuff is coming soon!

Kageyama opens his eyes thinking Suki is crying. He pauses and listens, groggy from sleep, but it must have been a dream because the room is quiet except for Hinata’s soft breaths. Suddenly, he realizes why he can hear Hinata’s breathing so clearly. The omega is draped over him, his leg hoisted up over Kageyama’s thighs and his face smooshed against Kageyama’s bicep. Kageyama’s shirt has risen up during the night, and Hinata’s arm is slung over his middle, the heat of the omega’s skin burning his stomach like a brand.

Holy fucking hell.

He looks down and can see half of Hinata’s face, relaxed in sleep. His mouth is slightly open and Kageyama registers that the dumbass is drooling on his arm, but he can’t find the will to care. He can see Hinata’s auburn eyelashes and the dusting of pale freckles over his nose. He can smell the coconut shampoo Hinata uses, combined with the omega’s cinnamon and sugar scent. It’s a little more subtle now that Hinata is no longer pregnant, but it’s alluring and intoxicating just the same. He allows himself the small indulgence of burying his nose in Hinata’s hair and inhaling deeply.

Kageyama remains still, afraid to move and wake the sleeping man beside him. It’s not his fault that he woke like this, and he’s going to enjoy the feel of Hinata’s warmth blanketing his body for as long as he can.

If only he could wake up like this every day. If only he were allowed to hold the omega like this whenever he wanted, run his hands over Hinata’s skin, nestle his nose into Hinata’s neck and lick at his scent glands.

This train of thought is problematic for so many reasons, but primarily because of the boner he’s sporting that is not going to go away if he keeps thinking about Hinata’s skin and scent.

To distract himself, and also because he still needs to process it, he thinks back to his conversation with his sister yesterday as he walked her to her car.

“Tobio, what’s going on with you and Hinata? Have you told him how you feel?” Miwa was frowning slightly at him.

“No. I can’t do that now. What if it makes him uncomfortable? He can’t exactly get up and leave after just having surgery.”

“Are you getting the baby always? Changing her and all that, like you did today?”

“Yes, I’m trying to help. It’s still painful for Hinata to get up and down with the incision.”

“What about at night?” She narrowed her eyes at him, and he felt inexplicably embarrassed.

“Yeah, I get her at night for him too.”

“Every time?”

“Yeah, so?”

Miwa looked at him incredulously. “How do you even hear the baby from your room? And isn’t that a pain to get up and walk to his room several times a night?”

“It’s only usually three times a night. And… I hear her because I’m in the room with them.”

Miwa’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. “What do you mean? You stay in Hinata’s room all night? In his bed with him??”

“Yeah, so what? It’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal? That you’re sleeping in the same bed with an omega you’re in love with? That you’re caring for his pup as if she’s yours? You’re acting like a mate, you know that right?”

“I know. But I love him, o-nee-chan. And I love her, too. I fell in love with her the moment I set eyes on her. I couldn’t help it.”

Miwa pressed her lips into a tight line. “Tobio, I’m really worried that you’re getting in too deep. That you’re going to get hurt.”

“I know. I probably will.”

Miwa’s mouth fell open slightly at his admission. “What are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing. What can I do?”

“Emotionally distance yourself. Protect your heart.”

“Miwa, I can’t do that. It’s not who I am. I take care of them because I want them to be happy and healthy. I want to make Hinata’s life easier, so I’ll help in any way I can. I can’t just not do that. I can’t turn it off. This is all I know how to do, this is the only way I know how to be. I know I’ll get hurt, but I’m just going to cherish the time I have. I’ll deal with the fallout when it happens.”

Miwa’s expression turned sad and fond. “You are so much like grandfather, you know that? Not just with the baking, but his outlook on life, his kindness. You are the child of Kazuyo’s heart. You are a good man, little brother, and I know he would be so proud of you. So would our parents.”

Kageyama’s heart skipped a beat at Miwa’s words. He missed Kazuyo so much. Not so much his parents, as he had been so young when they died, but his grandfather’s absence was felt every day.

He managed to speak past the lump in his throat, but it came out scratchy. “Thank you. They’d be proud of you too. Independent, doing what you love, happy.”

Miwa smiled softly. “Yeah, I like to think that.”

“I love you, o-nee-chan,” Kageyama said as he pulled her into a hug. “I know you’re worried about me, but I’ll be okay. I know what I’m getting into, what I’m already into. There’s no turning back, so try not to worry.”

She nodded into his shoulder, then pushed back to look at him. “Okay. I love you too, Tobio. Be well.”

The rehashing of the somber conversation has the desired effect of making his boner disappear, but he’s left feeling dissatisfied and restless. He knows his sister is just worried about him, and he totally gets it. Yet he doesn’t know what he can do to allay her fears. He can’t see any other choices than the ones he’s making now.

He knows he wants to tell Hinata how he feels, but he can’t do that now, not when the omega is so vulnerable. When Hinata is healed from surgery, when he’s back on his feet both physically and mentally, Kageyama promises himself he will tell Hinata how he feels. To finally take his chance, whatever the outcome.

 

++++

 

The next week is a blur of baby-centric chores. Feeding, changing, bathing, singing to sleep, then repeating all over again. Kageyama watches with surging affection as Hinata softly coos to the tiny pup, assuring her, playing with her. He affectionately runs his hand over her ginger fuzz and talks about her future as a redhead. He falls asleep holding her.

And he sings to her. Not much better than Kageyama.

“Oi, your singing is shit, dumbass.”

“Hey, watch your language in front of the baby.”

“Sorry. But still, you suck.”

“Not as much as you.”

“Whatever, just stop traumatizing her with your voice.”

“No, she likes it, don’t you aka-chan?”

The baby coos, and Hinata grins triumphantly. “See, told you.”

Kageyama grumbles but it’s hard to be mad when Suki looks so stinking cute in Hinata’s arms. He takes a picture instead.

Kageyama has hundreds of pictures of Suki on his phone already. He can’t help but snap pictures when she looks cute, which is pretty much all the time.

There’s one particular picture he snapped of Suki and Hinata that Kageyama pulls up often just to look at. Hinata is holding her in his arms, and she’s got one tiny fist wrapped tightly around his index finger.

Hinata looks at Suki with stars in his eyes.

The picture of both of them nearly brings tears to Kageyama’s eyes. He loves them both, so much it hurts. He yearns for Hinata with his heart, while his alpha yearns for him with his body. As Kageyama watches Hinata be such a caring, doting mother to the child, his alpha keeps screaming to mate and breed the omega.

He has to tell his alpha to shut the fuck up daily.

He thinks more about what Miwa said and doubles down on his promise to himself to tell Hinata how he feels when Hinata is on his feet and independent again.

When Suki is two weeks old, Hinata moves around more easily, but he’s still in pain from the surgery and he looks exhausted. He has dark circles under his eyes, and he’s too pale. Kageyama wants to do something to take the pain and fatigue away, but he can’t do anything. So he helps as much as he can, trying to lighten Hinata’s load in whatever way possible.

When Kageyama goes back to work that week, it is with a heavy heart. He doesn’t like leaving Hinata alone with the baby and considers getting a babysitter to help.

He greets Yachi at the back door to the bakery, and she greets him much too cheerily for this early in the morning. But he supposes she hasn’t been getting up every few hours every night for the last couple of weeks.

“Good morning, Kageyama. It’s good to be back! How’s the baby?”

Kageyama can’t help but smile when Yachi mentions Suki. “She’s great. Want to see some pictures?”

After he’s run through a couple dozen pictures and Yachi has praised the baby’s cuteness sufficiently, they get to work. Yachi forms the matcha dough into cookies while Kageyama rolls out dough for the pastries.

“How is Hinata doing?”

“Good, I think. Tired, of course.”

“Yeah, it must be awful to get up several times during the night with the baby.”

“Yeah, it is.”

Yachi stops with a ball of green dough in her hand. “Wait? You get up too?”

“Yeah,” Kageyama says, uncomfortable with her tone. Why does everyone think that’s so weird?

“Every night?”

“Yeah,” Kageyama says, rolling his dough a bit too forcefully.

Yachi is silent for a moment, but then asks, “Kageyama, can I ask you something?”

“I guess,” he answers, studiously avoiding her gaze.

“Why aren’t you and Hinata together?”

Kageyama keeps rolling as he keeps his eyes fixed on the dough. “I… I’ve never told him how I feel.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t know if he feels the same. And besides, I don’t want to pressure him. What if he’s uncomfortable? What if thinks he would lose his job and his home if he doesn’t accept my confession? What if he feels like he has to accept? I just can’t do it.”

“But Kageyama, I think…”

“Yachi-san, please. I know what you’re going to say. But I can’t tell him now. I have to wait until he’s in a good place.”

“But…”

“Please just drop it. And please promise me you won’t mention anything to Hinata.”

Yachi’s face pinches, and she looks distraught, but after a moment, she agrees. “Okay. I promise I won’t say anything to Hinata.”

“Thank you. Let’s get these in the oven.”

Kageyama is thankful when Yachi sticks to her promise and doesn’t mention Hinata or Kageyama’s pitiful one-sided obsession with the omega.

When they open the doors that morning, several regular customers wander in, eager for their sweets after two weeks without. Several inquire about the baby, and Yachi calls Kageyama to the counter a few times so he can show the interested clients a few pictures of Suki from his camera roll. He gets congratulations, which thoroughly confuse him, and watches as Yachi’s face shows a combination of amusement and snarky ‘I told you so’ vibes.

Late in the morning, Kageyama is in the kitchen cleaning up after making a large batch of pastry dough when he sees Hinata enter the kitchen from the door that leads to the apartment. He’s got Suki nestled to his chest in a baby carrier, and the pup appears to be sleeping.

“Hinata, what are you doing?” Kageyama barks, suddenly anxious for the pair’s safety.

“I came to visit. I was bored, and I miss the bakery.”

“Did you walk down the stairs by yourself with her??” Kageyama asks, aghast.

“Yes,” Hinata answers with a tinge of attitude. “We don’t all fall down the stairs like you, ‘Yama.”

Kageyama pointedly ignores the insult. “You could have been hurt! You could have fallen and hurt both of you!”

“I held the handrail. We’re fine!”

“This time! Next time, text me and I’ll come up and walk down with you.”

“Oh my god, ‘Yama. You’re so overprotective!”

“I’m just…” Kageyama begins to say “protecting my pack” but bites his tongue.

When he stops short and doesn’t offer any other words, Hinata prods, “What? What are you doing?”

Hinata’s face is serious, probing. His eyes are narrowed, and the look makes Kageyama’s heart pound faster for absolutely no reason. He wants to walk away, but Hinata’s gaze has his feet glued to the floor.

“I just want to… protect my pack, okay?” Kageyama admits, though the effort costs him.

Hinata’s face softens, and his eyes do that sparkly thing again. “We’re your pack?”

“Yes, of course. Dumbass,” he tacks on for the added distance.

“Why is that?” Hinata asks, his voice quieter than a moment before. The tone does strange things to Kageyama’s insides, makes him feel like dropping to his knees, begging to be accepted.

Idiot.

He fumbles around for something innocuous to say and settles on, “I’ve said this before, Hinata. It’s no secret. You’re my employee and my roommate and my friend. Of course, as an alpha, I want to protect you and your pup.”

Hinata’s face contorts, and Kageyama can’t figure out why he’s upset the omega. Maybe it’s post-partum hormones?

“Is that all?” Hinata asks carefully.

Now is the time. Do it, Kageyama thinks.

But in the end, he can’t. For the same reasons he just told Yachi a few hours ago.

“What else would there be?” he throws out carelessly.

Hinata visibly flinches, and Kageyama feels like an ass. But what is he supposed to say? Is he supposed to just beg the omega to love him?

No, he can’t do that. Not now.

Kageyama ignores the way his skin crawls at the idea that he just hurt Hinata. He convinces himself he imagined it, that it was only wishful thinking.

Because he can’t possibly entertain the notion that Hinata might want him too. Not now, not with so much on the line, with too high of a chance that everything could be ruined if he says what he feels and drives Hinata away while he’s in such a vulnerable position.

No, he can’t do it yet.

Soon though. Soon he will.

 

 

++++

 

 

The next month passes quickly. Kageyama is so worn out by working all day and then being up a few times each night with Suki that he’s starting to feel irritated and irrational. He snaps at Yachi a couple of times, then apologizes profusely. He texts and calls Miwa, but her continued inquiries into his relationship with Hinata start grating on him.

He’s usually a patient man, but he’s starting to feel overwhelmed caring for Hinata and Suki. He’s starting to feel like he can’t handle it, like can’t do everything he needs to do, like he can’t be everywhere and do everything for everyone.

Like he’s not enough.

Most mornings, he wakes up to an alarm at four thirty AM with Suki still sleeping and Hinata snuggled up to him.

It’s not a bad way to wake up, but rousing himself from the comfortable bed, untangling himself from Hinata’s limbs, lifting his tired body into a standing position to work for the next twelve hours becomes a chore that he hates. He’s never felt this way before about his job. He loves the bakery, loves what he does in his kitchen, in the quiet or with Kazuyo’s music playing.

But lately, it’s been difficult. Really difficult.

He shuffles out of the room to a purring Mikeneko, who rubs up against his legs as she waits for him to serve her breakfast. He jumps into the shower and washes without any consciousness of his actions. He wonders if he fell asleep in the shower.

Yachi has been a great help at the bakery working long hours herself, and Kageyama briefly wonders if he should hire someone else, but he’s too tired to think logically about the idea.

Today he’s got the extra chore of baking Hinata’s birthday cake. Hinata is twenty-two today, and Kageyama wants to make him his favorite Mont Blanc cake. He readies the ingredients for the birthday dessert along with his regular offerings. He’ll make two cakes and serve the other as his special of the day.

The day goes slowly, and by the time Hinata and Suki come down to visit late in the morning, Kageyama’s eyelids are drooping. But still, he pushes on because what choice does he have?

That evening he makes Hinata’s favorite food, tamago kake gohan, even though it’s typically for breakfast, because Hinata asked for it and Kageyama is whipped. He also places an order for meat buns, which is delivered that evening before dinner. Between those two foods and his beloved strawberry soda, Hinata is in heaven.

“Kageyama, this was an amazing meal! Thank you so much!” Hinata pats his belly as he sits at the kitchen table in front of his empty plate, bowl and glass.

Kageyama blushes despite himself. He’s holding Suki, who’s awake and trying to eat her fist. Her brown eyes are open wide, staring at him. They are caramel colored, so much like Hinata’s that it’s scary. She is a copy of him in her coloring and features.

“It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing. It was thoughtful and just what I wanted.”

Kageyama mumbles a ‘you’re welcome’ and asks if Hinata wants cake.

“You made cake too? What kind?”

“Mont Blanc,” Kageyama answers, unsure why he feels his face flush at the admission. It’s just a cake, and he’s a baker. It’s absolutely not a big deal.

Hinata’s face lights up, and the smile he graces Kageyama with reminds the alpha why he bothered to go all out or Hinata’s birthday.

To see him smile.

To make him happy.

“You are the best, Kageyama!” Hinata praises as Kageyama, still holding Suki, takes the cake out from under the cover with one hand to reveal Hinata’s favorite.

“Hold on, let me get a candle.”

“Ooooh, I get a wish too?”

“Of course, dumbass. It’s your birthday.”

“Kageyama Tobio. How many times have I told you to watch your language around aka-chan. Geez. Her first word will probably be ‘dumbass’.”

Kageyama scoffs as he pulls out a candle and lighter. He places the single candle on the cake, and with Suki held at a distance due to his long arms, lights the candle.

Hinata watches him light the candle with anticipation, his whole face lit up. Kageyama puts the lighter down out of reach of the baby and fixes his eyes on the omega, who glows in the yellow aura of the candle. Hinata studies the cake for a second biting his bottom lip, and then closes his eyes and blows out the candle. When he looks back at Kageyama his eyes are glistening again, and Kageyama thinks he’s never seen anything so beautiful.

Afraid that his emotions are plastered across his face, he clears his throat and asks, “Did you make a wish?”

“Yes,” Hinata says, his voice breathy. He still hasn’t moved his gaze from Kageyama, and it’s disconcerting. Acting out of self-preservation, Kageyama rises and gets a knife from the drawer, again holding it far away from the baby. He hands it to Hinata, then goes back and gets two small dessert plates and two forks, which he places in front of the omega.

Hinata cuts two slices, telling Suki he’s sorry but she’s too little for cake, but when she gets bigger she can have some too. Kageyama smiles at Hinata’s adorable interactions with the baby. When Hinata finally digs into his cake, he moans with pleasure, and Kageyama has to tell his stupid dick to stand down because it’s not /that/ kind of pleasure.

“Oh my god, this is so good, Kageyama. I hate to admit it, but it tastes better than any I’ve managed to bake over the years.”

“That’s because you suck,” Kageyama offers, falling back into their comfortable bantering rather than think about how that moan sounded coming from Hinata’s lips.

“Hey, I’m getting so much better at everything!”

“Except cheesecake. Probably Suki-chan will be making better cheesecake than you are when she’s five. Isn’t that right, aka-chan?”

“Rude! And on my birthday too!” Hinata protests, but Kageyama can tell he’s not serious.

When they finish their slices of cake, Kageyama says, “I’ve got one more thing for you.”

Hinata’s face lights up with joy again, and Kageyama thinks how easy it is to please Hinata with small gifts and gestures. He goes to his bedroom to retrieve a small package, and when he’s back, Hinata has cleared the table and put the cake away.

“You didn’t have to do that. I would have taken care of it.”

“It’s fine. I wanted to.”

“But it’s your birthday.”

“It doesn’t mean I can’t do a little something to help you. You worked all day, then cooked for me, and I know you’ve been exhausted.”

Kageyama is a bit surprised and more than a little embarrassed that he’s been so transparent. “I haven’t been that tired,” he says, putting the gift on the table in front of Hinata but avoiding his eyes.

Hinata’s voice is soft when he responds, “You have and I’m sorry for it. But I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done. Truly, you’ve been a blessing to us, Kageyama.”

When Kageyama dares to look up, Hinata’s eyes are doing that sparkly thing again, and he’s momentarily mesmerized by the beauty. Hinata is looking at him with what? Affection? Longing?

Should he do it? Should he confess now? Hinata’s not recovered yet from the surgery and can’t work right now, but maybe.

Maybe it’s time?

Kageyama is about to open his mouth, to throw caution to the wind, but just then Hinata breaks eye contact and turns his attention to the small, poorly wrapped package. He gently rips the paper, then opens the flat box to reveal a framed picture of him and Suki.

Kageyama chose the picture of Hinata looking down at Suki with such obvious love and adoration, and it’s clear that Hinata is speechless. He runs his finger over the image of his daughter, and Kageyama sees tears start to leak from his eyes.

“Do you like it?” Kageyama asks quietly, working up the courage to follow up his question with a confession.

Hinata looks up at him, his brown eyes swimming with tears, and to Kageyama’s surprise and horror, Hinata bursts into tears. He drops his head into his hands and sobs, his shoulders heaving and his breath raspy.

“Hinata? What’s wrong? You don’t like it?” Kageyama says as he starts to panic. What did he do wrong?

Hinata shakes his head ‘no,’ but his face is still buried in his hands, and he’s still sobbing uncontrollably. Kageyama glances at the baby to gauge her reaction, worried that the noise might upset her, but besides taking her hand from her mouth and scrunching up her face, she’s not showing any other reaction to the ruckus.

He sets his hand on Hinata’s shoulder and squeezes, then scoots his chair closer so he can sling an arm over the omega’s shoulder.

“Hinata, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

Hinata cries for a few more minutes without speaking, but eventually his sobs subside, and he lifts his head. When he turns to Kageyama, his eyes are bloodshot, and his face is wet and flushed.

“Tell me, please,” Kageyama urges Hinata.

“I…” Hinata begins, then pauses to clear his throat. “I just miss my family so much, ‘Yama. Since I had Suki, I just can’t help thinking about my own mother. How she must have held me like that, how she did everything I’m doing for Suki. And I miss them so much. I want to call them, but I’m scared and ashamed.”

“What are you scared and ashamed of? Still the same things? Of being unmated and having a child? That you left them?”

“Yes, but that matters less now somehow. But I’m afraid, what if my dad really meant that? What if he really meant that I should never come back? What if he still feels that way?”

“You won’t know until you contact them, I guess,” Kageyama admits.

“Maybe I will. I’m not ready yet, but maybe. I just keep thinking, if my mother loved me like I love Suki, she would forgive me. I can’t imagine not forgiving Suki if she made a mistake. So my mom, she probably would be okay if I came home, right?”

Kageyama’s heart squeezes in his chest, but he knows it’s from recognizing how Hinata feels. “Yes, I can’t imagine that she wouldn’t forgive you.”

“But I just don’t know about my dad.”

Kageyama wants to reassure him because he knows in his heart that if Hinata’s father feels about Hinata the way Kageyama feels about Suki, there’s no way he wouldn’t forgive him either. There’s no way that a father’s love can be somehow less forgiving, less anything than a mother’s.

“I think you need to give them a chance, Hinata. What do you have to lose?”

Hinata studies him with sad, wounded eyes. “I guess you’re right. I’ll think about it.”

Kageyama squeezes Hinata’s shoulder. “That’s a good idea. I’ll always listen if you want to talk about it.”

Hinata nods and murmurs another thanks, then stands and takes Suki from Kageyama’s arms. “Let’s get aka-chan her bath. Then we can watch my favorite baking show to top off my birthday.”

Kageyama agrees because he’s helpless to do anything other than give Hinata what he wants.

 

///

 

Notes:

So I’ve been outlining the rest of the story, and I’m afraid I’m going to end up with another 100K-word monster! Only a few more chapters until they figure things out, and I’ve got through Chapter 26 planned. After that, I’m not sure how the story will end, so who knows how long I will drag out their happy times after they finally get together.

Chapter 20: Suspicion

Summary:

Hinata makes a friend and goes back to work, Kageyama has another rut, and Hinata asks Kageyama a shocking question.

After his birthday dinner, Hinata gives Suki her bath and puts her to bed before he and Kageyama watch their baking shows. When they go to bed that night, Hinata climbs into bed next to Kageyama. He’s gotten used to the comfort and warmth of Kageyama in his bed, but that doesn’t stop him from wanting more. He turns his body away from the alpha as he normally does. Facing toward Kageyama is too tempting.

He wants cuddles, caresses, kisses.

And more.

It’s pathetic how badly he craves love and attention from his friend. How he longs for something more, something romantic and physical and all-encompassing.

Kageyama is a caring and sensitive alpha, and undoubtedly an amazing dad to Suki. Hinata can’t imagine anyone ever living up to the standard Kageyama has set.

He shifts a bit trying to get comfortable as the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings swarm his mind. He doesn’t know what to do, if he should say something, if he should give some hints to the clueless dummy beside him. But every time he considers this option, it comes back to the same old thing: Kageyama has never given him any indication of liking him as more than a friend.

Still, the caring and kindness the alpha showed over his birthday dinner is perplexing for someone who is just a friend. Isn’t it? The food, the picture. God the picture of him and Suki was breathtaking and moving. How did Kageyama capture that so perfectly?

And how did the image break Hinata’s hold over his emotions?

He has thinking a lot about his family lately. Becoming a parent has slowly but surely affected how he perceives his own parents. He now sees the incident when he left home in a different light, and he can put himself in their shoes. If Suki had done something ill-advised, foolish and careless, he would be angry perhaps, but he would never stop loving her. He would never cut her off. It was inconceivable.

So maybe, just maybe, his parents feel the same. Maybe if he called or went to see them, it would be okay.

He’s starting to think that when he feels better, when he’s ready, maybe he’ll go back to Miyagi. Maybe he’ll reach out. As Kageyama said, he has nothing to lose.

 

++++

 

After Hinata’s birthday, he is seven weeks past his surgery and is feeling mostly back to normal. He starts to take Suki on walks around the neighborhood in the mornings and is thinking about going back to work, at least part-time.

One morning, he and Suki are walking past a particular home a few doors from the bakery that Hinata finds simply adorable. It’s an older style, two-story home painted brown and white, but what draws Hinata’s gaze is always the lovely garden. It has small shrubs, flowering trees and hundreds of flowers that splash color over the yard. Today there is an older woman working in the garden. She looks up as he passes by, and they wave at each other. She takes off her gloves and peers over the fence at Suki in her stroller.

“Hello there. Your baby is adorable. How old?”

“Thank you,” Hinata says with a small bow. “Seven weeks.”

“Ah, congratulations.”

“I simply love your garden. I’ve been admiring it on our walks.”

“Well thank you. Now that I’m retired, I find gardening to be an enjoyable pastime.”

They talk for a few minutes, and Hinata says goodbye and takes his leave, but now that he’s walking regularly, he sees the woman several times a week, either working in the garden or sitting in the yard with a book or coming or going from the house. They talk quite often and become friends. Her name is Mrs. Eguchi and as they become closer, Hinata begins to see her as a grandmother figure. She is in her sixties and has several children and grandchildren herself. Her husband still works so she has days to herself. Hinata shares about his work at the bakery and his life with Kageyama, though he leaves out most of the details. She hasn’t visited the bakery, she tells him, because she has diabetes and can’t eat sweets, but admits that her husband occasionally visits to satisfy his sweet tooth.

A few weeks later, in the middle of July, Hinata considers going back to work. He raises the issue with Kageyama.

“Hey, ‘Yama,” he says one night as they watch Sugar Rush. “I think I want to go back to work, at least part-time. I was thinking I would only work half days to start, and it then Yachi wouldn’t have to come in so early. What do you think?”

Kageyama turns from the television with a frown. “What about Suki?”

“I was thinking I could work for a few hours in the early mornings and bring Suki with me. She could stay in her bouncy seat or in the pack-and-play. Then later in the morning, I could maybe get a babysitter for a few hours.”

Kageyama looks thoughtful. “Who would babysit?”

“I was thinking about asking Mrs. Eguchi.”

Kageyama is frowning again, but it’s his thinking face this time. Hinata tries not to smile at the adorable, grumpy look on the alpha’s face and the noticeable crease between his eyebrows.

“We hardly know Mrs. Eguchi.”

“I’ve gotten to know her pretty well.”

“We don’t know how she is with kids.”

“We can ask. See what she thinks.”

Kageyama stares at him for another few seconds. “I want to meet her. Talk with her.”

Hinata smiles, because of course Kageyama would want to check out a potential babysitter.

A few days later, Hinata runs into Mrs. Eguchi and asks if she’s interested in babysitting. Not only does she say yes, but she seems overjoyed with the prospect, going on about how she’s missed babies since her grandkids are getting older.

The next day after the bakery closes, Hinata and Kageyama take Suki down the block. Mrs. Eguchi invites them in and offers them tea. They sit in the living room as she serves them. Hinata has Suki in his arms, and Kageyama's eyes are scanning the room as if looking for hidden dangers.

“It’s nice to meet you, Kageyama-kun. Hinata-kun has told me a lot about you,” she begins.

Kageyama’s eyes flick to Hinata’s but then back at the older woman. “It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Eguchi.”

“So Hinata says he wants to go back to work part-time. I told him I am more than happy to look after Suki-chan for a few hours.”

“Yes, he has told me. Thank you. May I ask, where is your husband? Will he be here when Suki is with you?”

“Oh, I doubt it,” the woman says, waving her hand. “He works at the university until six or seven each evening. I have been hounding him to retire, but he loves his teaching so much, I doubt he will. He’ll probably die in his office grading papers someday,” she laughs.

Kageyama nods, but Hinata can sense he has more questions. Kageyama continues with his interrogation. “Are you good with kids, Mrs. Eguchi?”

“Oh, yes, I’d like to think so. I certainly love kids. Hinata might have told you, but I raised four of my own, and have six grandchildren, ages five through seventeen.”

“Do they like you?” Kageyama asks, making Hinata exclaim, “Yama!”

Mrs. Eguchi only laughs. “I think so! They draw me pictures, call me on the phone, come visit when they can.”

Kageyama nods with satisfaction, then observes, “The house is not baby-proofed, I see.”

“’Yama!” Hinata chides, then turning to their hostess, he apologizes. “I’m sorry about that. Kageyama doesn’t seem to realize that ten-week-old babies don’t move around on their own and therefore don’t need house proofing yet.”

He sends a glare to Kageyama, who shrugs and then looks back at Mrs. Eguchi. “Do you have a criminal record?”

“Kageyama! What the f… heck?” Hinata exclaims, terrified Mrs. Eguchi will be offended.

Again, the woman laughs it off. “You are an interesting man, Kageyama-kun. I will forgive you for your overprotective alpha instincts, however, as my dear husband is the same. No, I don’t have a criminal record. I admit to a speeding ticket or two in my youth, but that is it. Oh, and I hope you won’t judge me, being young yourself, but back in the day, I might have indulged in a tiny bit of alcohol before I was legally allowed to do so.”

“So there is no drug or alcohol use now? By you or your husband?”

“Oh, heavens no, unless you count some sake with dinner once in a while.”

Kageyama nods and looks around the space while Hinata begins, “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Eguchi, for Kageyama’s behavior. He tends to go a little crazy when it comes to Suki’s safety. He even yelled at me once for walking down the stairs with her, if you can imagine.”

“Oh, I know how alpha fathers can be about their pups.”

“She’s not mine,” Kageyama mumbles, causing both sets of eyes to snap to him. The silence is awkward for several heartbeats.

Hinata recovers first and stammers, “I’m sorry, I should have mentioned, we, um, aren’t a couple, and Kageyama is… not Suki’s father.”

Mrs. Eguchi looks from one to the other thoughtfully. “Oh, I’m very sorry for making that assumption. Just with the way you two act, I just thought… well, I am very sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Hinata says to defuse the tension. “It’s something others have assumed as well.” He feels his heart pounding rapidly for no good reason and risks a look at Kageyama, who is frowning more than usual. This time it’s his scary face, and Hinata thinks it’s time to leave.

“Well, thank you for your time, Mrs. Eguchi. I think it’s time for us to get Suki and ourselves some dinner. Thank you for your time. I’ll talk to you soon. Let’s go, Kageyama,” Hinata adds with an edge to his tone.

When they are on the sidewalk, Hinata lashes out. “Kageyama, what the fuck was that?”

“Watch your language around the baby.”

“She doesn’t understand it! What the hell were you doing back there, interrogating her like that?”

“Just making sure she’s a safe person for Suki to be around. You should want that too.”

“Of course I do! But those questions were rude!”

Kageyama stops walking and turns to him. “They were necessary to know. What if she had said yes to any of that? Then we could not, in good conscience, leave our… leave Suki with her.”

Though he was still angry, Hinata’s brain latched on to Kageyama’s near slip. Did he think of Suki as his? Then why did he point out that he wasn’t the pup’s father a few minutes ago?

Hinata doesn’t have time to process before Kageyama starts to walk back toward their apartment.

 

++++

 

When Hinata goes back to work the next week, he is both excited and a little scared at how Suki is going to react to being in her bouncy seat or pack-n-play, but the first few days go pretty smoothly. It’s a bit of a shock to Hinata’s system to get going so early and be at work at six in the morning. After an early breakfast for both of them, he brings Suki downstairs and situates her in the bouncy seat where he and Kageyama can see her and talk to her, but not too close to the work area. She is content for a while, chewing on her fist as both of them coo and sing to her while razzing each other for their terrible singing voices.

After about two hours, though, Hinata is starting to lose energy. He washes his hands, then picks Suki up to change her. He puts her in a sling over his front since he’s mostly done in the kitchen and goes to tidy up out front. Customers come in and fawn over the baby, and though he’s tired, Hinata feels pretty satisfied with the morning.

Around nine o’clock, he brings Suki to Mrs. Eguchi and then comes back to the bakery, ready to work for real. He’s missed being alongside Kageyama in the kitchen, missed their interactions and their bantering. It feels good to be back to normal, somewhat anyway, and he feels happy and content for the rest of the morning.

By noon, however, the physical exertion combined with broken sleep at night catches up to him, and Hinata is grateful when Yachi arrives at work. He picks up Suki from Mrs. Eguchi, pleased to hear that everything went well, and takes her home to feed her lunch and get her a nap. He sleeps himself when she finally snoozes that afternoon.

Hinata falls into a routine for the next couple of weeks. Everything is going smoothly, he feels almost back to normal physically, and he’s happy to be back to work. He’s even adjusted to that two or three hours a day away from his baby, and though part of him feels guilty about it, part of him knows it makes him happier and more content to have a few hours at work, to feel like he is something more than just a mother.

But then something strange happens at the end of July.

Hinata puts Suki to bed in the evening, then he and Kageyama turn in later that night. They have the day off the next morning, so Hinata is looking forward to some down time and to getting some chores around the apartment.

When Hinata wakes up, the sun is shining through the gap in the curtains. He blinks his eyes, groggy and confused. He feels rested for the first time in a long time, and he can’t figure out why, until it occurs to him.

Suki didn’t wake up in the middle of the night.

The realization hits him like a freight train, and he suddenly panics that his baby is sick or – god forbid – even worse. He bolts from the bed to check the baby in the bassinet. He hears Kageyama mutter but ignores him. Suki looks okay, but he’s feeling a horrible dread that she’s stopped breathing, so he puts his hand gently on her back.

The relief is palpable when he feels her tiny chest lifting and falling with her breaths. Hinata feels like crying.

He collapses back onto the bed, where Kageyama is propped up on his elbow, looking at him strangely. “What the hell?” he whispers angrily.

Hinata feels the emotion overflow, and he covers his face with his hands. He whispers back, “She didn’t wake up last night. I got scared. I thought she… I thought maybe…”

Hinata starts crying quietly and instinctively rolls toward Kageyama, who envelops him in a hug. “What did you think?”

“I thought she maybe was sick or even… even… dead. You know babies die from SIDS, right?”

He can’t see Kageyama’s face but knows he’s frowning. “No, what’s SIDS?”

“Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Babies sometimes just die in their sleep.”

Hinata feels Kageyama stiffen and realizes he’s just given Kageyama something to worry about that the alpha didn’t know existed a moment before. He feels worse now. He buries his face in Kageyama’s chest and waits for his heart to stop hurting so damn bad.

“She’s fine, right?” Kageyama asks calmly.

“Yes.”

“Okay, then. She’s fine. She’s alright. Try to breathe.”

“She slept through the night,” Hinata adds, just now registering the implications, that maybe he can start to get a good night’s sleep, at least maybe sometimes.

“Yeah, I guess she did,” Kageyama agrees as he absently rubs his hand in circles on Hinata’s back. “Wonder if she’ll do it again or if this was just a one-off.”

“Well see I guess.”

The next night it happens again, then again and again. On the morning after the fourth night, Hinata wakes early, before either Suki or Kageyama. He gets out of bed carefully this time, and just because it feels like he needs it, he places his hand on Suki’s back until he can feel her breathing. He checks the time and realizes he doesn’t need to get up yet, so he climbs back into the bed facing Kageyama. The alpha is on his back, his arm slung over his head. Hinata examines Kageyama’s profile, his face devoid of the usual frown.

He likes waking up with Kageyama, seeing the alpha relaxed and, okay fine, beautiful. Hinata resists the urge to run his finger along Kageyama’s jawline, to skim across his lips. He smiles at the idea until something hits him.

If Suki sleeps through the night, there is no reason for Kageyama to stay in his bed anymore.

The notion sours Hinata’s mood. Maybe if he doesn’t mention it, Kageyama won’t bring it up. He hopes so, because giving up this closeness, even though it’s nothing to Kageyama, seems like a loss he’s not ready for.

Suki cries not long after, and they all start their day. That night when the baby falls asleep, Hinata gets up to put her in the bassinet when Kageyama says, “Do you think you should put her to sleep in her crib? Since she’s been sleeping through the night?”

Hinata considers. The pup is getting pretty big for the bassinet, and since she has slept through the night for several nights, it is probably a good idea. Hinata changes direction and lays the baby down in the crib. She looks so small in it, and he just stares at her for a moment, wondering how the first three months of her life went so quickly. He checks that the baby monitor is on, then turns off the lamp and switches on the soft nightlight. He quietly leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

When it’s time for the adults to head to bed, Hinata heads to his room but pauses when he senses Kageyama is not behind him. The alpha is standing in the kitchen.

“What?” Hinata asks as he turns around.

“I… I guess there’s no reason for me to, um, stay in your room anymore?”

Hinata feels his heart sink, but manages an awkward, “Oh, um, yeah. I guess… I mean unless…”

Kageyama is frowning at him, so Hinata stops and starts again. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Goodnight, ‘Yama.”

Kageyama murmurs goodnight, and Hinata goes to bed alone for the first time in months. The room seems empty, the bed cold. He feels alone, lonely. It takes him a long time to drift off to sleep that night.

 

++++

 

One day in early August, Kageyama warns Hinata that his rut is coming within the week. They make plans for the bakery for when Kageyama is out of commission, which looks a little different since this is Kageyama’s first rut since Suki was born. But Hinata assures Kageyama that he and Yachi can make things work.

At home, Kageyama is a little more clingy, wants more cuddles with Hinata on the sofa and regularly scents Suki. Hinata takes it all in stride since it’s not much different than previous ruts.

Until one morning at the bakery.

Hinata is wiping off some of the tables in the front when a tall alpha comes in. He’s got sandy brown hair and a nice smile. He smells like sandalwood. The alpha immediately starts chatting with Hinata.

“Hi there. It’s my first time here. A friend said you have amazing cheesecake.”

“Oh, yes, we do! I can get you some if you want.”

“Yes, I definitely want to try it,” he pauses to read Hinata’s name tag, “Hinata-san. Did you make it?”

“Not this one,” Hinata says with a smile. “The owner made this cheesecake. I’m still working on perfecting mine.”

“I’m sure your cheesecakes are tasty as well,” the alpha says with a wink.

It takes Hinata a second or two to realize the alpha is flirting with him. It surprises him, honestly. He was pregnant for so long that he forgot that alphas flirt with omegas that don’t have mating bites.

Part of him is flattered, and the thought, I still got it, floats through his head. But then the alpha seems too close in his personal space, and Hinata feels uncomfortable. He instinctively takes a step back.

“Oh, um…” Hinata starts to say when Kageyama comes into the room and immediately sizes up the situation. He strides over to Hinata and asks, “Are you okay?”

Hinata stammers a ‘yes’ while the alpha looks on with furrowed brows.

“Can I help you?” Kageyama asks with too much hostility.

The alpha’s easy smile is slightly strained. “Nah. Hinata here was just going to get me some of your famous cheesecake.”

“I’ll get it for you instead,” Kageyama says gruffly.

“But I was hoping Hinata could help me,” the alpha counters, his smile now more for show.

“Hinata has something to do in the kitchen.”

Hinata watches the display of alpha aggression in front of him with confusion. Why does Kageyama care if an alpha talks to him? Why does Kageyama want him to go into the back? It’s not like this alpha was going to ask him out or anything.

Was he?

“I…” Hinata begins.

“Yachi needs you in the kitchen,” Kageyama insists, still staring down the other alpha. Hinata can sense the posturing from the men, and when he detects the aggressive pheromones from both, he decides to leave to defuse the situation.

He turns toward the kitchen and sees Yachi in the doorway watching the whole encounter. As he enters the kitchen, he vaguely hears Kageyama offer to get the customer a slice of cheesecake.

“What the fuck just happened?” Hinata asks Yachi.

Yachi has a sly smile on her face. “What do you think happened?”

“Kageyama is acting weird. It must be because his rut is coming.”

“That’s an interesting pre-rut behavior,” Yachi comments, looking at Hinata intently. He senses there is more behind her words, but he can’t figure out the subtext. Yachi continues, “Almost like, I don’t know, possessiveness.”

“Nah. He’s just protecting his pack. That’s what he said before.”

“Hmm. I’ve never seen a friend react that way.” She emphasizes the word friend. “It’s more like the behavior of a jealous alpha protecting his omega.”

Hinata immediately disagrees. “Nah, that can’t be.” But then he looks at Yachi and thinks he sees she’s trying to communicate something without words. “Can it?” he asks, suddenly unsure.

Yachi shrugs. “I don’t know. What do you think? I mean, have you thought about it? You know, you and Kageyama?”

“Have I thought about it?” Hinata asks with a wry laugh. Hell yeah, he’s thought about it. But Kageyama doesn’t think of him like that, romantically, sexually.

Does he?

Hinata turns to Yachi. “Hey, Yachi, what do you think…”

Hinata is interrupted by Kageyama returning to the kitchen. His demeanor is menacing, and his scowl is pronounced. He approaches Hinata. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It was nothing.”

Kageyama growls in response, then returns to the dough he had been working on. Hinata glances at his back, then to Yachi, then back to Kageyama.

Could Yachi be onto something?

 

++++

 

Kageyama’s rut starts a few days later, and Hinata and Yachi manage to run the bakery well enough. Hinata is sad to leave Suki with Mrs. Eguchi for longer each day, but the older woman seems happy enough to help, and Suki seems content enough to stay with her. Plus, it’s only for a few days, Hinata tells himself to counter his guilt.

After the second night of Kageyama’s rut, Hinata gets up in the early morning before Suki wakes. As he walks through the kitchen on his way to the bathroom, he hears Kageyama say something from behind his closed bedroom door. Thinking Kageyama needs something, Hinata approaches the door and puts his ear to the wood. He listens, holding his breath, for a few seconds when he hears Kageyama’s low, growly voice.

“Hinata.”

Hinata freezes. Did Kageyama just say his name? During his rut? Does he need something?

No, that wasn’t a call to someone for help. That was a moan.

It can’t be true, Hinata thinks, but still, he presses his ear back to the door, his heart hammering and his pulse racing. He listens intently, almost convincing himself he imagined the whole thing. But then, he hears it again, this time more desperate.

“Hinata!”

Hinata slowly backs from the door, dumbfounded. Is Kageyama thinking about him during his rut? Is he… oh my god… touching himself as he calls Hinata’s name?

The idea both thrills and terrifies Hinata. He has gone so long believing Kageyama doesn’t think of him like that, but the evidence in front of his eyes is pretty telling.

Or is he just going crazy? Imagining it? Is he dreaming?

If it is true, then Kageyama is just on the other side of that door, maybe naked, likely aroused, and Hinata is here, available, and god knows, willing.

What should he do?

Without thinking any further, he knocks softly on the door, figuring if Kageyama is asleep, he won’t hear the soft tapping. He quietly says, “Kageyama?”

Silence.

Hinata waits several seconds, ten, maybe twenty, then tries again. A soft knock plus a question. “’Yama?”

There is no answer.

Hinata stares at the door, wondering if he should open it, but it is rude and even dangerous to enter an alpha’s den while they’re in rut.

It’s crazy to even consider, yet Hinata’s feet won’t move. He’s glued to the spot.

What if?

His thoughts are interrupted by Suki’s cries from her nursery. The sound shocks Hinata back to reality. He shakes his head, ashamed of what he had almost done, what he was thinking.

Yet still, as he goes about his day, he can’t help but wonder if he’s onto something. He keeps going back over a few things on repeat. First was the fact that Kageyama almost said Suki was ‘their’ baby, then Kageyama’s reaction to the alpha who flirted with Hinata. And Yachi’s reaction was strange, almost as if she was trying to tell him something, to lead him to a conclusion. And finally, hearing his name fall from Kageyama’s lips when he was a rutting, horny mess.

Could it actually be that Kageyama wants him like that?

The idea stays with Hinata almost constantly during the next few weeks. He is constantly trying to observe Kageyama for other signs to bolster his theory, but the alpha offers none. Hinata can’t bring himself to mention hearing his name from Kageyama’s room, and they both carry on as usual.

In the meantime, Hinata has been reading up on heats after giving birth. He knows he’s probably going to have one soon, but what he’s read scares him.

Almost every source indicates that an omega’s first heat after birthing a pup is worse than normal. The articles mention it being terribly painful as the omega’s body starts to go back to normal after pregnancy and birth. Hinata’s heats were absolutely awful before he got pregnant, so the idea of them being even worse than that is making him scared and anxious.

He reads about ways to counter these nearly unbearable heats, and all the things he reads say the same thing – that the best way to counter the effects is with a heat partner.

The idea takes shape in Hinata’s mind at the same time he considers if Kageyama could really have romantic feelings for him.

Kageyama as his heat partner is almost all he can think about for weeks.

In early September, just as Hinata registers that it’s been exactly a year since he walked into the bakery and asked for a job, he feels the signs of pre-heat coming on and recognizes decision time is near. For the next couple of days, he debates, considers from every angle, thinks about the risks and the frankly fantastic benefits of taking the risk and asking Kageyama to share his heat with him.

He finally decides that life is too short, that he’s got reason to believe Kageyama will agree. And maybe most importantly, that there’s no one else he would even consider asking.

A couple of nights later, Kageyama exits from the nursery after having put Suki to bed. He sits on the sofa, pets Mikeneko who hops onto his lap, and asks what Hinata wants to watch.

Hinata is fidgety and can’t help second-guessing his decision, but he knows his heat is coming soon, probably tomorrow, and he has to do this.

“Um, nothing. Can we talk?”

Kageyama’s brows furrow into what Hinata now recognizes as his confused face. “Sure. What’s up?”

“I’m in pre-heat,” Hinata starts out.

“Yeah, I know. I can detect the change in your scent. Don’t worry. When it hits, I can bring Suki to Mrs. Eguchi while I’m at work. I’ll take care of it.”

“Yes, thanks. But… I wanted to ask you something else. Everything I’ve read seems to say that the first heat after giving birth is really horrible.”

Kageyama frowns. “I’m sorry. What can I do to help?”

Hinata laughs nervously. “Yeah, so that was what I wanted to talk to you about. I was thinking of taking a heat partner.”

Kageyama looks angry, even murderous for one heartbeat, but then he schools his features. “Aren’t you afraid of getting pregnant again?”

“I’m on birth control. And y… I’d make sure my um, he, would use a condom.”

“Didn’t you get pregnant on birth control before?”

“Yeah, but it’s so rare, what’s the chance it happens twice?”

“How the fuck should I know. What am I some math genius?”

Hinata had to laugh. “Um, maybe in another universe.”

“Shut up, dumbass,” Kageyama scoffs, but still, Hinata senses he’s upset over something. Then it occurs to him that Kageyama might think he’s going to ask another alpha to be his heat partner.

“So, um, would you want to?”

“What?” Kageyama’s eyes snap to Hinata’s. They look frantic, wild.

“Do you want to be my heat partner?”

Hinata can see Kageyama’s panic as the alpha’s face flushes pink and he looks away. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all.

“Why me?” Kageyama asks quietly.

Hinata hadn’t been prepared for this question, but he should have been. He starts to stammer out his reasons without revealing his innermost secret. “Because, well, it’s convenient,” he begins, only to glance up and see Kageyama’s frown.

He rushes on, “And I trust you. Mostly because I trust you.”

Something flashes in Kageyama’s eyes, but it’s gone too fast for Hinata to identify.

“Is that all?” Kageyama asks, and Hinata is suddenly frozen with fear. He could say it now, he could confess, he could blurt it out and let the cards fall where they may.

He considers for about half a second, but it turns out he’s a coward.

“I mean, you and I are close, right?”

Kageyama studies him with an inscrutable look. Hinata thinks he can almost see the wheels turning in Kageyama’s mind, and wonders what he will finally say.

After a few seconds, Kageyama drops his gaze to the cat in his lap and absently runs his hand over her fur as he says, “I don’t think you’d want me to be the one.”

It’s Hinata’s turn to frown. “Why not?” he asks, genuinely curious.

Kageyama is silent for a long time, and as the seconds tick by, Hinata wonders if he’s not going to answer at all.

Finally, though, Kageyama says softly with his eyes still fixed on the cat in his lap, “Because I’ve never done it before.”

Hinata breathes a sigh of relief at the response. “Oh, that doesn’t matter to me. I mean, there’s nothing special about being a heat partner. It’s just, you know, sex.”

Kageyama raises his eyes, and Hinata sees the sadness and maybe self-doubt written all over his face, as he clarifies, “No, I mean… I’ve never done IT before.”

It takes Hinata several heartbeats to fully comprehend what Kageyama is saying.

He’s a virgin.

Hinata didn’t expect that, though once he thinks about it, it’s really not all that surprising. He knows Kageyama keeps a lot to himself, doesn’t really put himself out there. It makes sense that he has never dated. Or fucked.

“Oh, well, I didn’t know. But it doesn’t matter to me. I…”

Suddenly, something occurs to Hinata, and he stops short. He can feel his heart rate rise as he realizes the enormity of what he’s just asked his virgin friend.

He drops his eyes to the sofa to apologize, and his words are quiet and gentle. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know or I wouldn’t have asked. I understand why you’d want to wait. I mean, why you’d want your first time to be special, to be with someone you care a lot about. Someone you love.”

He hears the alpha say, “Yeah, I guess that is what I had always wanted. But…”

Hinata can’t bear to look at Kageyama’s face, and he suddenly can’t stand to be in the room anymore.

“I understand,” Hinata says quickly, standing. “Well, I’m going to bed. Goodnight,” he adds, not looking back as he hurries out of the room.

He reaches his bedroom, closes the door behind him, and collapses against it.

Kageyama has just admitted he wants his first time to be with someone special, with someone he loves.

And that is not Hinata.

The tears trace tracks down his cheeks, but he doesn’t make a sound.

 

///

 

Notes:

Coming up – smut that isn’t a fantasy!

Chapter 21: Heat

Summary:

Hinata’s heat begins. Will Kageyama help him through it?

Notes:

This is a long chapter (over 9k), but it’s smut and fluff, so I think you’ll forgive me.

Kageyama sits stunned while Hinata races from the room as if he can’t stand to be near him anymore.

What the fuck just happened?

Hinata asked him to be his heat partner. Kageyama had heard that correctly. But had Hinata bolted when he found out Kageyama was a virgin? No, that wasn’t right. It was when Kageyama agreed he wanted his first time to be with someone special.

Hinata hadn’t let him finish. He was going to do it, he was going to confess, pour out his feelings, finally. But Hinata had left before he could find the words.

He has to fix it. He has to tell Hinata the truth. It’s time. It’s past time.

Lifting the cat off his lap and setting her on the sofa, Kageyama goes to Hinata’s room and knocks on the door. “Hinata? Can we talk?”

A short pause before Hinata answers, “Not tonight, okay, ‘Yama? I’m heading to bed.”

“But it’s important,” Kageyama presses.

“I’m sorry. I just… Just not tonight, okay? We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Kageyama starts to protest, to point out that tomorrow Hinata will be in heat, and they wouldn't have a chance to talk, but he doesn’t press the issue. He needs Hinata to be in a receptive mood when he finally tells him the truth.

He’s waited a year, certainly he can wait a few more days.

He moves through the apartment, locking doors and turning off lights before he makes his way to his ensuite bathroom and readies for bed.

There’s still the issue of what to do about Hinata’s heat. Should he do what Hinata asked? There are some obvious benefits of course. Just the idea of touching Hinata’s body, of being inside him, knotting him.

Holy hell, yes please, and thank you.

Even if it’s just one time, the memories would stay with him forever. But can he do it if Hinata thinks it’s ‘just sex’? Can he make love to the man he loves knowing he doesn’t love him back?

Kageyama frowns to himself as he strips to his boxers and gets into bed. He needs to talk to someone, to get things straight in his head.

Picking up his phone, he texts Miwa to see if she’s awake and can talk. She calls him within a minute.

“Tobio? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

“Yes, everyone’s fine, o-nee-chan. Sorry to scare you. It’s just, something happened, and I need to talk.”

“Okay, of course. What’s going on?”

Kageyama takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. “Hinata asked me to be his heat partner.”

The silence from the other end of the phone lasts several heartbeats, then Miwa finally asks, “What did you say?”

“Well, that’s where it gets complicated,” Kageyama answers. He then starts from the beginning, relating the whole conversation to his sister as best as he can remember. Miwa interrupts periodically to clarify.

“He said it was because you were convenient?? Ouch.”

“Yeah. But then he said it was mostly because he trusted me.”

“Oh,” Miwa says, her voice softer. “Oh. Then what?”

When Kageyama tells her the part about Hinata saying they were close, Miwa makes a frustrated noise.

“What?” Kageyama asks.

“It’s just, Tobio, have you considered that maybe he likes you back?”

Kageyama is quiet for a moment, considering. “I don’t know. I didn’t think so.”

“Why else would he ask?”

“I don’t know. Because he needs someone? And he trusts me?”

“I don’t think that’s all. He wanted to see your reaction. He wanted to know if you want him back.”

Kageyama shakes his head, even if Miwa can’t see it. “No, I don’t think so. Or… at least I’m not sure. He said it was ‘just sex.’”

“What? Tell me exactly what he said.”

Kageyama hesitates for a second, “Okay, but Miwa, when I tell you this next part, I need you to not act like a big sister. I need you to just be my friend right now.”

Miwa’s voice softens again, “Of course, Tobio. Of course. Now what happened next?”

Kageyama relates the part of the conversation where he admitted his inexperience to Hinata. He expects some sort of reaction from his sister, but she just listens quietly and lets him get everything out.

“He said it didn’t matter to him, but then he got really weird. He said I would probably want my first time to be with someone special, someone I cared about. Someone I loved.”

Kageyama hears Miwa gasp softly. “And what did you say?”

“I was gonna tell him, Miwa. I was going to confess, I swear. It was on the tip of my tongue, but when I started, he just jumped up and left.”

Kageyama can hear the suspicion in Miwa’s voice. “What did you say exactly?”

“I said something like that was what I always wanted, and I tried to continue, but he left too quickly.” As Kageyama finishes, the sadness and frustration bubbles up again.

“You have to talk to him. Tell him what you were going to say,” Miwa insists.

“I tried. Right after it happened. But he said he didn’t want to talk, and I didn’t push the issue.”

“Oh,” Miwa says, sounding disappointed.

“So what do I do, o-nee-chan? I don’t know what to do.”

“About which part? The heat or the confession?”

Kageyama answers right away. “I’m going to confess. I am, I swear. But I can’t do it during his heat. He won’t be thinking clearly. So I’ll wait until it’s over. As soon as it’s over.”

Kageyama can hear the smile in Miwa’s voice. “That’s good, Tobio. I think that’s the right thing. Honestly, I think he likes you back.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I really do.”

Kageyama lets out a shaky breath, and the tightness in his chest loosens a bit. “Okay. Okay.”

“So, what are you going to do about his heat?”

“Oh,” Kageyama answers, feeling the tightness creep back. “I don’t know. What should I do?”

“Do you want to be his heat partner?”

“Yes. Hell yes.”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

Kageyama pauses and picks at a loose thread on his bed cover. “I guess there’s two things. I’m not sure I can do it if he only thinks it’s sex. If he’s just looking for a friend with benefits, you know? I mean, that might be a little too much for me to handle. Do you think?”

“I don’t know, Tobio. Only you can answer that.”

Kageyama thinks it over, considers what would happen if he confesses after Hinata’s heat and Hinata turns him down. Could he live with that rejection after being so close, so intimate with Hinata? Or would that make it worse? Is a few days of bliss worth the heartache?

Quite possibly, he thinks.

Especially if it means he would help lessen Hinata’s pain.

“I think I could do it. I mean, it’s what I’ve wanted. Regardless of what it means to him, it would be special to me. If he rejects me, at least I’d have the memories.”

“Okay, well, sounds like you have figured that out. What’s the other thing?”

Kageyama hesitates because this part is harder. “What if… What if I’m not, you know, good?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… what if I can’t, you know, satisfy him?”

“Oh,” Miwa answers. “Oh, I see. I don’t think that’s a problem, Tobio. I mean, from what I understand about omegas in heat, they’re not super picky. They just want a knot, you know. Probably you don’t have a very high bar, I’m guessing.”

“You really think so?” Kageyama asks, unsure.

“I really think so, but if you want, I could ask some omega friends.”

“No!” Kageyama insists, then softer repeats, “No, that’s okay. I can maybe look online.”

“So, do you think you’re going to do it?”

Kageyama considers for a few seconds, then answers, “Yes. I want to help him, Miwa. I don’t want to think of him being in so much pain. It kind of hurts me to consider it. And, as long as I won’t disappoint him…”

“You won’t, I’m sure.”

Kageyama nods as if to reassure himself. “Okay. Okay, yeah.”

“You feeling better now?”

“Yeah. Thanks, sis. I know I don’t say it often enough, but I love you and I really appreciate you.”

“I love you too, Tobio.”

They disconnect the call, and Kageyama sets an alarm on his phone, thinking through everything he has to do in the morning if he’s going to take Hinata up on his offer. He falls asleep with a strange combination of anticipation and anxiety.

 

++++

 

Kageyama wakes early and immediately checks his phone. There’s a text from Hinata from around four AM saying his heat is starting and asking if Kageyama can take care of Suki. Kageyama sends a brief text back, even though he’s not sure Hinata will look at it.

He showers and dresses, then quickly walks down to the bakery. He posts a sign on the door saying they are closed due to illness, then texts Yachi to tell her not to come to work. She asks why, and Kageyama hesitates before texting: “Hinata’s heat. I’m going to stay with him.”

Yachi sends back a bunch of emojis with hearts and an eggplant, and Kageyama stares at the message for a moment wondering what that means. But soon Suki cries, and he puts his phone away.

Kageyama gets the baby out of her crib, amazed at how big she is now. At four months, her cheeks are chubby, and her ginger hair is getting longer. Her giant amber eyes still dominate her face, just like her momma, and Kageyama is again overwhelmed with the love he feels for the pup. He changes her, gets her dressed, and feeds her breakfast, talking softly with her the whole time. When he is rewarded with some chubby-cheeked smiles, his heart stutters.

When seven AM rolls around, Kageyama texts Mrs. Eguchi to see if she can watch Suki for the day. When the babysitter agrees, Kageyama packs a bag for Suki and takes her down the street. When he returns to the apartment a little while later, he sees Mikeneko staring at him from her perch on the windowsill.

“Wish me luck,” he says to the cat, who just stares at him with disdain.

Kageyama walks to Hinata’s room, and pauses briefly, taking a deep breath, before he knocks on the door.

“Hinata?”

Kageyama hears a soft groan from the other side of the door, but no verbal response.

“Hinata?” he tries again.

This time he hears Hinata answer, “What? Is Suki okay?”

“Yes, she’s fine. I… can I come in?”

The silence drags out for several seconds, and Kageyama second-guesses his decision. What if Hinata rejects him? Tells him to go away? How pathetic would it be to be rejected by an omega in heat?

“Why?”

“I… please, can I just come in to talk for a minute? Then I’ll leave if you want me to.”

He hears a soft, “Okay” and then reaches for the doorknob. His palms are sweaty, he realizes, and he pauses to wipe them on his sweatpants before slowly opening the door.

The first thing Kageyama registers is the sweet, intoxicating scent of cinnamon and sugar. It’s Hinata’s scent but amplified by ten. It nearly brings him to his knees, and his dick immediately responds. His alpha pushes to the surface, already telling him to knot and breed.

As he enters the room, Hinata sits up in bed. He is naked to the waist, and the sheet covers his lower half. Kageyama’s eyes devour the sight in front of him. Hinata’s skin is flushed pink, and his hair sticks up at odd angles. Hinata’s lean muscles are lithe and covered with a thin sheen of sweat. It takes Kageyama a minute to force his eyes away from Hinata’s form and to his eyes.

“Suki is okay, right? Where is she?” Hinata asks.

“She’s fine. I took her to Mrs. Eguchi’s,” Kageyama answers, realizing his voice is scratchy.

“What time is it? Why aren’t you at work?” Hinata asks.

“It’s about seven thirty. I…” Kageyama pauses, then steps closer to the bed, trying to ignore his alpha screeching in his head. “I wanted to know if you still want me to, um, help you.”

Hinata’s head cocks to the side. “You want to? I thought you wanted to wait. So your first time would be with someone special.”

If only you knew, Kageyama thinks. He steps closer until he stands at the foot of Hinata’s bed. The scent is so alluring he has to fight the urge to drop to his knees and beg. “It’s not an issue.”

Hinata’s eyes squint at him as he presses, “What do you mean it’s not an issue?”

“Just… don’t worry about it. It’s not anything to worry about. I’m here. I want to help. If you still want me.”

Hinata’s face softens, “I do. But are you sure, ‘Yama?”

Kageyama realizes how much he needed to hear Hinata say he still wanted him, realizes he was more afraid of being rejected than he knew.

“Yes, I’m sure. I want to help.”

A smile appears on Hinata’s face, and Kageyama can’t believe that he looks even more beautiful than he did a moment ago. Hinata reaches out a hand, and Kageyama walks to the side of the bed and reaches behind him to lift his shirt over his head and off. He hands the garment to the omega, who accepts it and immediately buries his face in it and hums with satisfaction.

Kageyama’s dick twitches.

When Hinata removes the garment from his face, he tucks it under his pillow, then holds his hand out to Kageyama, inviting him into his nest.

Kageyama’s heart is pounding erratically, but he gets into the bed, lying on his side facing Hinata. He has no idea where to start, what to do, what Hinata needs.

“Tell me what to do to help you,” he whispers softly, and Hinata’s eyes do that sparkly thing again. Kageyama briefly wonders if Miwa might be right, but then Hinata scoots closer so that their chests are only inches apart, and Kageyama can’t think anymore.

“Will you kiss me?” Hinata asks, his voice soft and inviting. Kageyama wants to pinch himself to remind himself this is real. Instead, he leans closer, his gaze fixed on Hinata’s honey eyes until the moment their lips meet. Hinata’s lips are soft and plump, and Kageyama can’t believe he’s actually feeling them pressed against his own.

He pulls back after a second, and Hinata looks at him with those big amber eyes. “Was that your first kiss?” he asks softly.

Kageyama is a bit embarrassed but nods curtly. Hinata flushes slightly and his smile gets a little bigger. “I’m glad it was me,” he says softly before leaning back in for another kiss.

Kageyama tries to process what Hinata just said, but his thoughts are soon carried away as Hinata presses their bare chests together and kisses him for real. This kiss is hot, hungry, and Kageyama can only try to keep up as Hinata takes the lead. Hinata’s hand is now running over the muscles in his back, and it occurs to Kageyama that he can touch Hinata as well. He lifts a hand and tentatively presses it to Hinata’s side. The omega’s skin is burning hot, but soft and silky. Kageyama moves his hand to run up Hinata’s spine, to press against his waist, to hold him close so that he never escapes.

Kageyama is lost in the kiss, is enthralled with Hinata’s mouth and tongue, is still trying to process this reality when Hinata moans into his mouth. The sound goes straight to Kageyama’s dick, and his alpha begins its relentless chant of Fuck. Knot. Breed. over and over in his head.

Hinata pauses for a second to pull at the sheet that separates them, then tosses it aside. He hikes his leg up and over Kageyama’s hip and presses his fully naked body back to Kageyama’s. As Hinata assaults his mouth and rakes his fingers down his back, Kageyama registers the hardness of Hinata’s cock against his hip, and it nearly drives him mad. He wants to devour the omega, to have every piece of him, to own him, to please him.

Kageyama’s hand traces down Hinata’s back, stopping just above the curve of his ass, and the alpha hesitates, wondering if he should ask permission. But then Hinata grabs Kageyama’s hand and presses it to his ass cheek, and Kageyama greedily accepts the gesture and kneads Hinata’s ass. The omega moans again and starts grinding against his hip.

Kageyama is quickly losing his ability to reason.

Within a few seconds, Hinata is gasping and begging, “Please, I need you.”

“Tell me,” Kageyama manages between kisses, “Tell me what to do.”

“Touch me. Please.” Hinata rolls onto his back, and Kageyama gets his first opportunity to take in the omega in all his naked glory. He’s so beautiful, all sleek lines and toned muscles. As Kageyama’s eyes rake down Hinata’s body, they stall at Hinata’s pretty, perfect cock standing tall among ginger curls. Kageyama licks his lips while his alpha screeches at him incessantly in his head.

Kageyama manages to drag his eyes from Hinata’s cock and looks at the omega questioningly. “What do you want?”

“Touch me,” Hinata demands, dropping his eyes to his dick to make himself clear. “Use slick,” he adds, and Kageyama finds himself complying immediately. Propping himself with one elbow, he reaches between Hinata’s now spread legs and runs his hand along his inner thigh, which is indeed, dripping with slick. After gathering some on his hand, Kageyama reaches for Hinata’s cock and closes his fist over it.

The groan from the omega nearly makes him lose his mind.

“Yes, oh god, yes,” Hinata chants.

Kageyama begins to stroke, amazed at how easy the glide is when aided by slick. He pumps up and down, not really sure what Hinata likes, but figuring Hinata will tell him if he wants something different. Kageyama chances a look at Hinata’s blissed out face and falls in love all over again. The omega looks so alluring that it’s all Kageyama can do to hold back his alpha and resist fucking the omega senseless.

Unsure he can withstand Hinata’s beauty any longer, Kageyama buries his face in the omega’s neck as he continues to stroke. He inhales the ultra-sweet scent of Hinata in heat, and it’s more tantalizing from this close. Without thinking, Kageyama runs his tongue over Hinata’s scent glands, wanting to taste it from the source.

His dick kicks again as Hinata moans loudly. Hinata’s hand goes up to grip Kageyama’s shoulder as he buries his face in Kageyama’s neck.

“Fucking hell, you smell so good, ‘Yama.”

“Mmmm, you too,” Kageyama manages, still licking at Hinata’s scent gland and jerking him as the omega clings to him.

“Your hands are so big,” Hinata says in a throaty voice. “I knew they’d be so big.”

Wait, what? Hinata has thought about his hands?

But Kageyama doesn’t have time to process the words sufficiently because Hinata thrusts up into his fist and grabs him by the hair to pull his head back and kiss him.

Fucking hell.

Kageyama is carried away by Hinata. Hinata is a tsunami, a force of nature, and Kageyama is along for the ride. His free will is gone, replaced by an instinctive need to do whatever Hinata wants, give him whatever he wants.

Hinata’s kisses grow urgent, and his hips move more quickly as he moans again and breaks his mouth away to chant, “Yes, yes, just like that, gonna come.”

That’s all the warning Kageyama gets before he feels the hot liquid coat his hand. He looks down to see the cum burst from Hinata’s cock onto his stomach, and it’s the single hottest thing he’s ever seen in his life.

He continues to stroke Hinata’s cock until the omega bats his hand away, “Okay. Okay, enough.”

Kageyama reaches behind him to the tissues on the nightstand and then uses a few to wipe off Hinata’s stomach and his own hand. He turns his attention back to Hinata’s face as the omega lies with his eyes closed, occasionally twitching.

God, he’s so fucking beautiful.

Kageyama wants to touch him, needs to, so runs his hand along Hinata’s side, down to his hip, to his muscled thigh. He feels privileged to touch Hinata like this, like he’s being granted a special gift, one he never thought he’d have.

After a couple of minutes, Hinata opens his eyes. They’re doing that sparkly thing again, and Kageyama’s heart skips a beat.

“Hi,” Hinata says with a smug smile.

“Hi.”

They stare at each other awkwardly for a moment, then Hinata says, “That will help the pain for a while, but not long.”

“Okay. Then tell me what you want next.”

Hinata looks at him for a moment, then says, “I want you to fuck me. Do you want to?”

“My alpha does, yes.”

Hinata narrows his eyes slightly. “And what about you?”

Kageyama answers honestly, “I just want to give you what you need.”

Hinata smiles softly. “Of course you do.”

Kageyama begins to wonder what that means, but his thoughts are interrupted by Hinata’s next words. “It’s what I need. Please, alpha.”

“Yes, yes, of course,” Kageyama answers without hesitation. “Tell me what to do.”

“I need to be prepped. I can do it myself, or you could. If you want to.”

Kageyama doesn’t need words to know that Hinata wants him to do it. He just knows. “I’ll do it. Tell me.”

“Start with one finger. It should be easy with all the slick.”

Kageyama leans down to kiss Hinata’s plump lips again as his hand wanders down Hinata’s stomach, past his now soft cock, and between his legs. He slips his middle finger inside Hinata’s waiting hole, and as predicted, it slides in without resistance.

Hinata moans into his mouth again, and Kageyama swears it’s going to be the end of him.

He moves his finger in and out a few times, but it doesn’t take long before Hinata murmurs against his mouth, “Add another.”

Kageyama complies, pushing in with his index and middle finger. He can feel Hinata clenching around his digits as his alpha screams at him again to knot and breed.

“Curl them up,” Hinata murmurs against his mouth, and Kageyama does as he’s told. He’s rewarded with the lewdest, most pornographic moan he’s ever heard, and his dick kicks again.

“Fuck. Your fingers are so much longer than mine. I knew they’d feel so good.”

Hinata has thought about his fingers? What the hell?

“Yes, just like that, holy fuck. Yes, don’t stop, please.”

Kageyama is pulled from his thoughts by Hinata’s words, and he focuses on repeating the motion he had tried with his fingers. He’s petting Hinata’s prostate, which seems to make the omega crazy. Kageyama is here for it.

“Add another, ‘Yama,” Hinata breathes out between kisses. When Kageyama does as he’s asked, Hinata groans and rocks himself against Kageyama’s hand. They stay that way for a couple of minutes, devouring each other’s mouths while Kageyama’s fingers continue their assault.

“That’s good,” Hinata finally says. “I’m good. Fuck me now.”

Kageyama’s heart hammers at the words he’d never thought he’d hear. He removes his hands with a squelch and stands up beside the bed. He looks at Hinata with wonder for a moment. He looks so damn gorgeous, so fucking alluring, so fucking breedable.

“Do you have condoms?”

“Yes, top drawer of the nightstand,” Hinata answers.

Kageyama grabs one from the box and places it on top of the nightstand. He then strips off his sweatpants and boxers and steps out of them. He looks up to find Hinata’s eyes raking over him hungrily.

“Fuck, ‘Yama. You’re so gorgeous,” Hinata says with awe in his voice. Kageyama doesn’t know what to say to that, so he doesn’t answer, but then Hinata scoots to the side of the bed, pulls Kageyama close to him, and takes his whole cock into his mouth.

Kageyama’s brain goes offline.

Hinata’s mouth is hot and wet, and the suction around his cock is heavenly. Hinata is moaning, taking him so deep that the head of his cock hits the back of Hinata’s throat, choking him a little, but Hinata continues as if sucking Kageyama’s dick is his mission in life. Kageyama’s hands slide into Hinata’s hair, and he hears the omega groan again.

Kageyama is not going to last like this. Fucking hell, if this is what Hinata’s mouth feels like on him, what will it feel like to be inside him?

Suddenly, he needs to know with an urgency that practically bowls him over. In his head, his alpha’s chants are loud and aggressive, drowning out any rational thoughts.

Fuck. Knot. Breed.

“Hinata, stop now. I’m not going to last like this,” Kageyama manages to say.

Hinata slides his mouth off Kageyama’s cock and looks up. His honey eyes are glazed over, his lips are swollen, and saliva is dripping from the side of his mouth.

He is the most gorgeous thing Kageyama has ever seen.

Hinata looks stunned for a moment but then pulls away, and Kageyama reaches for the condom. His hands are shaking as he tears the package open and rolls the condom over his throbbing length. When he looks back at the bed, Hinata is on all fours presenting for him.

Son of a fucking bitch, he’s perfect.

There is no more thinking involved because Kageyama’s alpha wrestles control. Kageyama slides into the bed to kneel behind Hinata, running his hands up and down his back and over his ass before he separates his ass cheeks to examine his clenching hole that is steadily dripping slick.

The scent and sight are so intoxicating that he can’t help it. He dives in with his mouth, wanting – no needing – to taste the elixir from its source.

The sound coming from Hinata’s mouth sounds like keening, and the noise only spurs him on. Kageyama licks and sucks and probes, drowning in the taste of slick, lost in the sounds of pleasure coming from the omega under him.

Kageyama doesn’t know how long it goes on, he’s so enthralled, but Hinata’s pleas finally penetrate his haze.

“Fuck me now, please alpha. Need your knot. Please don’t wait. Need it now.”

Kageyama pulls his mouth away and wipes the slick away with the back of his hand. He looks up and Hinata’s face is buried in a pillow. The omega sounds like he might be sobbing.

Not bothering to ask if Hinata is okay, Kageyama lines up and slides inside in one brutal thrust. The squeeze around his dick is sublime, but he can’t focus on it for long because Hinata keens again, and Kageyama can’t tell if it’s from pain or pleasure.

He freezes and asks, “Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes, yes. Just fuck me, please.”

The words are all Kageyama needs, and he starts to move slowly. Every time he bottoms out, Hinata makes a sound, whether it be a moan or a ‘yes’ or some other vocalization.

It’s too much.

It’s not enough.

It doesn’t take long for Kageyama’s knot to start to inflate, and he can feel it catching on Hinata’s rim with every stroke. The sensation is so good, so erotic, so far beyond anything he could conjure in his mind.

But Hinata’s face is still smushed into the bed, and suddenly Kageyama needs to see his eyes, read his expression. He pulls out abruptly, causing Hinata to whine with frustration. The omega peers over his shoulder, looking irresistibly flushed and fucked.

“Get on your back,” Kageyama instructs, and Hinata scrambles to comply. He opens his legs up, and Kageyama is again struck with Hinata’s beauty and how lucky he is to have the omega like this, all to himself.

Kageyama slides back in, then props himself on his elbows so he and Hinata are face to face. Yes, this is better now. He leans down and kisses the omega hungrily, licking into his mouth and swallowing his moans as he thrusts in and out, never breaking his pace.

His knot is inflating more with each thrust, and he knows it won’t be long. Hinata feels too good, it all feels too good for him to hold out much longer. Hinata grabs his hair with both hands and murmurs into his mouth, “Yes, god yes, you feel so good. I’ve thought about this so many times. It’s so much better than I imagined.”

Wait, what? Hinata has thought about this so many times? Like when?

Kageyama’s brain struggles to make sense of the words with the limited blood in his brain, but then he’s completely sidetracked again by Hinata exclaiming, “Yes, Tobio, oh god. I’m so close.”

The sound of his given name on Hinata’s lips combined with the sensations and the scent of Hinata all around him sends Kageyama over the edge.

He reaches down with one hand and strokes Hinata’s cock while he forces his knot inside. Hinata tenses up, then bucks his hips as cum once again coats Kageyama’s hand as Kageyama’s spend fills the condom. Kageyama is floating, lost to the pleasure coursing through his body, listening to the sounds of the omega beneath him.

This is bliss.

After a moment, Kageyama collapses onto Hinata, pressing his face to the omega’s neck. He breathes harshly for a couple of minutes, listening as Hinata does the same. The omega’s hands are still buried in his hair, and it feels right, grounding.

He thinks he could fall asleep like this. Hell, even die like this, and he would be happy and fulfilled. But then he hears a muffled, “You’re heavy.”

Grunting his apologies, Kageyama rolls to his back, taking Hinata with him so that the omega is resting comfortably on top of him. He hears Hinata purr contentedly, and his alpha preens.

He did this. He satisfied this… you know what, to hell with it, HIS omega. And it was amazing and perfect.

And he wants to do it again and again.

Kageyama feels Hinata running his fingers in circles over his chest, but otherwise the omega doesn’t move. Kageyama vaguely wonders if he’s falling asleep, but then Hinata says softly, “You’re a good alpha, Kageyama. The best I’ve ever known. Thank you for helping me.”

Kageyama is briefly overcome with emotion at the praise but manages to speak past the lump in his throat. “Hin… Shoyo, you know I’d do anything for you.”

“Yes, I think I'm starting to believe that.”

Kageyama wraps his arms around Hinata and squeezes. There’s more to say, so much more, but not now. Just a few more days, Kageyama tells himself, and he’ll say everything he’s been bottling up for a year.

For now, he’s just going to hold his omega close, to enjoy this feeling of satisfaction and love. For as long as it lasts.

 

++++

 

With Hinata catching his knot, they are joined together for a while. As Hinata’s breathing evens out, suggesting he’s sleeping, Kageyama’s mind begins to wander. He starts thinking about the strange things Hinata said, putting them together like pieces of a puzzle.

Hinata had said he knew Kageyama’s hands would be big. That means Hinata has thought about Kageyama’s hands, about how big they are, and that would be strange if he thought of Kageyama as a friend, right? Yes, Kageyama decides, it does seem to suggest Hinata thought about Kageyama’s hands specifically on him, and not in a friend-like way.

Exhibit A.

Continuing with that line of reasoning, he remembers Hinata said something about knowing Kageyama’s fingers would be so long and would feel good. Um, yeah, there is really no other way to interpret that, Kageyama concludes. He definitely believes Hinata thought about his fingers doing… stuff to him and that it would feel good.

Exhibit B.

And finally, Hinata said he’d thought many times about Kageyama fucking him. He could possibly have just started thinking about it recently since deciding to take a heat partner, Kageyama supposes, or it could have been longer. But regardless of the timeline, Hinata thought about Kageyama in a sexual way.

Exhibit C.

As the pieces start falling into place, Kageyama tries to think back to other times, to see if he can view any more of Hinata’s words or actions through this lens. His mind immediately latches on to the gift he gave Hinata, the one Miwa thought Hinata would think was a courting gift, how Hinata’s eyes were shiny and full of light, then had dimmed when Kageyama said it wasn’t a courting gift at all. Thinking about that interaction now, with said omega draped over him and caught on his knot, the scene hits him differently. Like maybe he really did disappoint Hinata that time. Maybe Hinata wanted to be courted. It seemed so fantastical at the time, but now, well, maybe not.

And then there was the time when Kageyama had been defensive about worrying so much about Suki’s babysitter, and Hinata had pressed him, asking why he cared so much. Kageyama remembers with some shame saying he just wanted to protect his pack, that he and Hinata were friends, and when Hinata asked if that was all, Kageyama had cowardly lashed out saying ‘What else is there?’ He recalls how Hinata flinched and feels another wave of guilt.

But still, it’s more evidence that Hinata feels for him as more than just a friend.

There were other times too, now that Kageyama thinks about things in this new way. The way Hinata had asked if there was anything he could do to help Kageyama with his rut several months ago. Kageyama had thought at the time that Hinata’s voice sounded strange, that there was more to his words than just the surface meaning, but he hadn’t let himself believe it, not in his state where he wanted to claim the omega there and then. But if Hinata really had thought about Kageyama in a sexual way, maybe he really had been offering himself.

And then, just a few weeks ago during Kageyama’s last rut, Hinata had knocked on his door right after Kageyama had unintentionally moaned out his name. Kageyama had been so embarrassed, so vulnerable in that moment, that he didn’t answer, just stayed silent hoping Hinata would go away. But thinking back, why would Hinata knock if he knew Kageyama was in rut? It was well known not to bother alphas in that state, that they were unpredictable and dangerous. Hinata would know that. Could it be possible that Hinata thought Kageyama needed help in a non-sexual way? Possible, Kageyama concludes, but still, considering all of the other things Kageyama was putting together, it was just as likely Hinata may have been offering to help in a sexual way.

There were other times too, Kageyama concludes as he goes back through his memories, playing scenes like a slide show in his mind. Reactions that Hinata had that Kageyama chalked up to one thing or another, words that he wrote off as meaningless, interactions that he told himself could not possibly be because Hinata wanted him. He had always made excuses, refused to believe the cues.

Part of it was self-preservation, he supposes, but part of him wasn’t able to comprehend that Hinata might want him. He’s just a man, nothing special. He doesn’t have a big house or a fancy car or a high paying job. He just has himself, and he’s never been anything special. Someone like Hinata could have anyone he wanted, could make anyone fall in love with him, so why would he choose Kageyama?

Even as the thought forms in his head, he knows the answer. Because they fit, they are good together, strong together. They may bicker and fight, but at the end of the day, they just work.

Suddenly, Kageyama feels like the biggest fool to walk the earth. Since when has Hinata ever indicated that money or status matter to him? Never. He’s always complimented Kageyama for his kindness and attentiveness, he’s never asked for anything special, never sought out gifts or extravagances. He has always just wanted to be with Kageyama.

He’s such a fool.

After all this time, it hits him like a bucket of ice water. What Miwa said, what Yachi hinted at, what others believed when they just assumed he and Hinata were together. It was so obvious to everyone except him that Hinata liked him back.

He vows again that when Hinata’s heat is over, he will tell him. It’s just a few days, but it feels like forever now that he’s pieced together this great mystery that actually never was a mystery at all.

 

++++

 

Kageyama loses track of time and must have dozed off a bit because when he’s aware again, he feels Hinata grinding his cock against his hips and licking over his scent glands.

“’Yama,” Hinata mumbles. “Need you.”

Kageyama thinks this is the best fucking way to wake up and rolls toward Hinata. He uses his finger to angle Hinata’s face up toward his and kisses him. Hinata hums with contentment, and it does something strange to Kageyama now that he’s considered that Hinata may like him back. Maybe this whole thing isn’t just sex – for either of them. The notion settles in his mind and colors his perception of everything that comes next.

Hinata hikes his leg over Kageyama’s and pushes impossibly closer as their arms wrap around each other. Hinata moans softly as his hips continue to press and seek friction.

“’Yama,” Hinata whispers as Kageyama breaks off the kiss to trail wet, hot kisses down Hinata’s neck to his scent gland, where he licks and sucks for a moment. “Tobio, need you to touch me.”

Kageyama isn’t sure he’ll ever get used to his given name coming from Hinata’s lips, but he murmurs against Hinata’s neck.

“Tell me what you need.”

“I want your mouth on me.”

“Where?” Kageyama asks, nipping at Hinata’s collarbone and shoulder.

“Everywhere,” Hinata breathes out in a sexy, alluring tone. Kageyama looks up and meets Hinata’s deep amber gaze, and what he sees takes his breath away.

Hinata’s feelings for him are written all over his face, they’re shining out of his eyes, they’re radiating off his body in waves.

Kageyama has just been too stupid to see it.

“Okay, I’ve got you,” Kageyama replies, determined to satisfy his omega. He moves his mouth over Hinata’s chest, down his sternum, over his belly, over his stretch marks.

Suddenly Hinata says, “No, not there.”

Looking up, Kageyama asks, “Why? What’s wrong?”

The glow has faded from Hinata’s beautiful face and Kageyama only wants to do whatever it takes to put it back there.

“I have stretch marks,” Hinata says, his voice laced with shame.

Kageyama pauses for a moment, studying Hinata’s face. He really means it. He is ashamed of his body. Kageyama knows he needs to shut this down right off the bat.

“Shoyo,” he says softly as he places soft kisses right on top of the stretch marks on one side of Hinata’s belly. “You are beautiful. And these marks are part of you, so they’re beautiful too.”

When he looks up, Hinata’s expression is part disbelief and part adoration. “But they’re bright red and ugly,” he protests.

“No,” Kageyama says again, running his mouth over the marks on the other side of Hinata’s belly. “They’re not. They’re part of you. They show that you carried Suki, that you gave her what she needed to be strong and healthy when she was born. They represent strength and life. There’s no way that could ever be ugly.”

Hinata’s bottom lip trembles a bit. “Do you… do you mean it? You really think that?”

“Yes, I do, Sho.” Kageyama kisses them some more, mumbling, “I do” and “You’re beautiful” and other sweet nothings until he feels Hinata’s body relax. When Kageyama looks up again, Hinata doesn’t look uncomfortable anymore, just hungry, eager.

Kageyama moves his mouth lower, skimming over Hinata’s outer thigh, then to the inner thigh, causing Hinata to gasp softly. Kageyama’s wanderings are rewarded with the sweet taste of slick on his tongue, which he savors for a second before looking up to meet Hinata’s steady gaze. Kageyama moves over Hinata and runs his tongue up the omega’s cock from root to tip, then swirls his tongue around the head. Hinata lets out a sound somewhere between a sigh and a moan, and Kageyama works his tongue over it for a while before taking the whole thing in his mouth until his nose is buried in Hinata’s ginger curls. He increases the suction and moves his head up and down while his finger teases around Hinata’s entrance. Hinata’s moans get louder, but Kageyama pops off to ask, “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” Hinata breathes out, and the sound is so fucking sexy that Kageyama’s already steel-hard dick kicks again.

He slips a finger inside and prods around for the spot that made Hinata unhinged before, then takes Hinata’s cock in his mouth again, moving his hand and mouth together in a steady rhythm. Hinata embeds his hands in Kageyama’s hair again, and hell if Kageyama doesn’t already absolutely love the sensation. He works in another finger and immediately goes back to the spot. Hinata is a moaning mess now, babbling incoherently, stuttering out words and sounds in no particular order, until Kageyama hears, “Yes, yes, yes.”

That’s all the warning he gets before he feels hot cum hit the back of his throat. He chokes a bit but swallows it all down while continuing to work his mouth and hand until Hinata calls him off. He pops off and wipes his mouth, then chances a look at the omega under him.

God, he’s fucking stunning.

God, I love him so much.

“Okay?” Kageyama asks softly as he slides up to kiss Hinata’s lips.

“Mmmm,” Hinata hums.

Kageyama can’t help but chuckle softly. “What do you want now?”

“Fuck me. Please.”

Kageyama is not surprised and reaches into the top drawer of the bedside table to grab another condom. He rolls it on with more steady hands this time, then climbs between Hinata’s legs.

Suddenly, Hinata’s eyes snap open and he says, “No, wait.”

Kageyama freezes, confused.

“I want to ride you,” Hinata says rolling over.

Kageyama’s brain stops working for a moment while he tries to process. “Lie on your back,” Hinata tells him. “So I can see you. I want to watch you, Tobi. I want to see your face.”

Kageyama’s heart stutters a few times before he has the presence of mind to respond to Hinata’s request. He rolls onto his back and watches with rapt fascination as Hinata straddles his hips. Kageyama’s cock is standing up, hard and proud and already leaking, and Hinata studies it for a moment, then gives it a few strokes before meeting Kageyama’s eyes again.

He looks hungry again, and Kageyama can’t blame him, because he wants to be inside Hinata right this fucking minute. To claim, to satisfy. The constant buzz of his alpha in his head is background noise now, so steady and pervasive that he takes it for granted. When he has Hinata like this, there is nothing else he wants more.

Hinata gets a sly grin on his face before he positions himself over Kageyama’s waiting cock then lets himself slide down, inch by inch. Kageyama is enthralled by Hinata’s face as he watches the omega’s eyes flutter shut. Then Hinata’s mouth drops open, and when he’s taken all of Kageyama’s cock, he licks his lips and opens his eyes. He smirks again, and Kageyama feels his heart threaten to explode.

Mine, his alpha insists.

Fuck. Breed. Knot.

Fucking yes, Kageyama thinks as Hinata plants his palms on Kageyama’s abs and starts to bounce. His movements are lithe, and Kageyama can only stare with longing and admiration as he watches the omega take his own pleasure. Kageyama’s hands run up Hinata’s thighs to his hips as he fights the urge to pound up into the omega. He lets Hinata set the pace, content as long as Hinata seems that way.

The achingly slow strokes strain Kageyama’s patience and his hold over his alpha, yet he remains impassive as long as he can. After several minutes, Hinata’s movements start to slow, then die down even more.

“’Yama, I’m getting tired.”

“What do you want?” Kageyama asks softly, wanting to hear Hinata say the words.

The omega opens his eyes, and they’re hazy and lidded. “Need you to fuck me hard. Please, make me come again.”

A growl escapes Kageyama’s chest before he can register it, and he grips his hands hard on Hinata’s hips before planting his feet on the mattress and thrusting up with all of the strength he can muster. Hinata groans like a porn star and throws his head back in ecstasy. Fucking hell, just the sight of Hinata like this is enough to get him off, but he tries to hold on for as long as he can.

Kageyama feels his knot inflating, feels the resistance as he pushes in and pulls out, but it’s an exquisite sort of torture that he wants to feel over and over. Hinata is mindless now, looking like he’s just trying to hold on as Kageyama bounces him on his cock.

After a moment he starts chanting again, “Yes, oh god, right there. Yes, so close, I’m so close, Tobi, gonna cum, gonna cum.”

Kageyama reaches out with one hand to stroke Hinata’s neglected cock, and it only takes two pulls until Hinata’s body tenses up and white cum shoots out over Kageyama’s stomach. The clenching around his cock is sublime, and Kageyama finally pushes his knot inside as it pops and he comes into the condom. Hinata cries out again, then collapses onto Kageyama’s chest. They both drag in ragged breaths for several minutes, as Kageyama gently brushes his hands up and down Hinata’s back.

He could get used to this. The sex, the intimacy. And giving Hinata what he needs in this new capacity.

And it’s a bonus that he gets to experience this bliss himself.

He’s unaware that he’s smiling until Hinata pushes himself up on his hands. Kageyama opens his eyes to find Hinata grinning at him.

“Pretty smug, there, aren’t you, alpha?”

Kageyama shrugs, too satisfied to be baited. Hinata looks at him, head tilted to the side as if he’s trying to see into Kageyama’s soul. Kageyama feels exposed now, more exposed than he felt when he first stripped naked.

Fortunately, Hinata says nothing, but leans down and softly kisses him. Then the omega hums with satisfaction and snuggles his face to Kageyama’s neck. Kageyama feels the puff of Hinata’s breath on his skin, smells the omega’s scent, registers the heat from his body, and thinks, This. This is contentment.

 

++++

 

The cycle continues throughout the day, with Hinata having periodic needs, and Kageyama satisfying them temporarily until the omega’s pain starts again. The pattern is predictable but exhausting, and Kageyama finds his energy is waning in the afternoon.

Omegas in heat were insatiable.

When they are able, he insists Hinata drink water and eat, even if it’s only a bite or two of a granola bar, and he does the same.

As five o’clock approaches, Kageyama warns Hinata that he has to get Suki from Mrs. Eguchi and that he will be gone for a few hours while he takes care of the baby. Hinata whines, but Kageyama promises he will be back as soon as he gets the pup asleep for the night.

When the five o’clock alarm sounds, Hinata protests and Kageyama reluctantly drags himself from the omega’s bed.

He doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

But out of obligation, he dresses and walks the short distance to the babysitter’s house to pick up the pup and bring her home. He is happy to see her, of course, and gives her snuggles as they walk back home. Once back at the apartment, he feeds her dinner, plays with her, then gives her a bath. He dresses her for bed, then sits with her on his lap as he reads several of her books. Finally, as the baby dozes off to dreamland, he puts her to bed in her crib and returns as quickly as he can to Hinata’s room.

Just the few hours away from his omega makes him feel edgy and anxious.

He knocks as he opens the door and calls, “Hinata? I’m back.”

The sight that greets him breaks his heart. Hinata is curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed with tears running down his face.

“Sho? What’s wrong? Does it hurt that bad?”

Hinata nods and the movement shakes another tear from his eye. Kageyama watches it fall down his cheek, then sits down on the side of the bed and wipes the tracks with his thumb.

“Why didn’t you use a toy?”

“Because,” Hinata says with a scratchy voice. “You’re what I need. No toys. Just you. Always you.”

Holy fucking hell. This man is going to be the death of him.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m here. I’m back. I’ve got you, okay?”

“Okay,” Hinata agrees weakly.

Kageyama quickly strips and works on another condom as Hinata rolls to his back and opens his legs in invitation. Kageyama climbs between Hinata’s legs and slips inside without any resistance. Hinata moans and wraps his arms around Kageyama’s neck and his legs around Kageyama’s waist.

Kageyama leans down and licks the tears from the omega’s face. “It’s okay now, Sho. I’ve got you. I’m gonna take care of you, okay? I’ve got you.”

Hinata nods and leans up to kiss him, and Kageyama kisses him back, hoping all the love he feels will somehow be communicated with his lips, with his body, with his touch.

Over and over throughout the night, he does his best to meet Hinata’s needs, to keep the pain at bay, to show him he loves him and cherishes him. But morning comes again, and Kageyama has to leave to take care of Suki.

“I’ve got to go, Sho, but I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Use your toys, okay?”

Hinata shakes his head but won’t open his eyes. Kageyama sighs. “Okay, well, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

When Kageyama returns to Hinata’s bed later that morning, he finds the omega in much the same condition as last night. Kageyama gently scolds him while he slips inside, telling him to not be a dumbass, to use the toys to relieve the pain, but Hinata refuses, insisting he needs Kageyama and no one and nothing else.

Kageyama’s heart simultaneously breaks from sadness and sings with joy.

Because his omega wants him, only him.

On the fourth day, Hinata informs Kageyama that his heat is almost over. When five o’clock rolls around and it’s time for Kageyama to leave to get Suki from the babysitter, he asks Hinata, “Do you think it will be over before I get Suki to bed tonight?”

“Maybe. Probably.”

“Okay, well, I’ll come in if you don’t come out or message me before then. If it’s over, we’ll get the room cleaned up. Then, Sho, I want to talk to you about something important, okay?”

“Okay.”

Kageyama reluctantly leaves Hinata’s bed, praying to all the gods he can name that it’s not the last time. He gets Suki from the babysitter’s house, and when he returns, Hinata is still in his room, so he starts getting Suki’s dinner.

After she’s fed and burped, he lays out her play blanket, places her down on her belly, and gets down on the floor beside her. He puts various toys in front of her, talks with her, pretends he’s the bear or the bunny, and rolls his favorite toy by her – a bright red train he retrieved from the basket in his room. They play for a while, but eventually, she lays her head on the floor and looks at him with her big brown eyes, and he knows she’s tired. He rises from the floor and readies her bath.

There’s still no sign of Hinata.

Once her bath is over, and Kageyama has Suki dressed in pajamas, he sits with her on the recliner and reads to her from her baby books. She coos a bit and tries to touch the pages while he encourages her and tells her what the pictures are, naming ‘dog’ and ‘kitty’ and ‘cow.’ Finally, her head starts drooping, and he knows she’s ready for bed. It’s just before eight PM, so he scoops her up and walks her around the living room while he sings softly (and badly). After about ten minutes, she’s asleep, so he walks to her nursery and gently puts her in her crib.

Anxious to get back to his omega, he quickly steps over to Hinata’s room, expecting him to still be in heat. He knocks as he walks in, but instead of lying in bed, Hinata is sitting upright on the side of the bed.

His heat is over.

Kageyama feels disappointment wash over him that he doesn’t get to fuck his omega anymore. But then that emotion is replaced with anxiety over confessing.

He said he’d do it when Hinata’s heat was over.

It’s time.

“Is your heat over?” he asks, knowing it’s a stupid question.

Hinata looks over his shoulder, and Kageyama is struck by the pale, pained look on his face.

“Shoyo? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Kageyama asks as he approaches Hinata’s side.

“It’s just… I got up a while ago. I was going to shower, get cleaned up, but I checked my phone.” Hinata says looking up.

“What’s wrong?” Kageyama’s anxiety is skyrocketing now. Whatever is bothering Hinata, he’ll fix it.

Hinata answers, his voice filled with wonder and regret, fear and despair. “It’s a message from my sister.”

 

///

Notes:

As I was writing, I was thinking to myself, how do condoms work in omegaverse? I mean, do they go over the alpha’s knot? How does that work?? If you have insight into this very pressing issue, please let me know in the comments.

Chapter 22: Homecoming

Summary:

Hinata finally goes to see his family.

Notes:

Another long chapter, but the good stuff is getting here!

Hinata stares at the word. Just one word, two letters.

Natsu: hi

He should have expected it, he supposes. He looked Natsu up on socials, so it stands to reason she found him too. He hasn’t posted anything, just used it to check in on her, on their family. Maybe part of him hoped this would happen when he created the accounts.

He looks from his phone to Kageyama, who stands in the doorway frowning. “What does it say?”

Hinata answers, “It just says ‘hi.’”

Kageyama walks towards him and sits next to him on the bed. “Did you answer her?”

“No. Not yet.” Hinata’s thoughts are swirling. What does it mean? Why is she reaching out now, after all this time? What should he do?

“Well, are you going to?”

Hinata looks up into Kageyama’s lapis blue eyes, which are laser-focused on him. “Should I?”

“It’s up to you,” Kageyama says, always supportive.

Hinata considers. He’s wanted to reconnect with his family, has missed them so much. Is this the first step?

He realizes his hands are shaking as he types a response.

Shoyo: hi

It’s only a few seconds before three dots appear.

Natsu: are you okay?

Shoyo: yeah, I am. you?

Natsu: yeah

Hinata pauses, not sure where to go from here. He considers that when he left, his sister was eleven. She’s now thirteen, in year seven.

Shoyo: how’s middle school?

Natsu: it sucks. the girls are mean and the boys are stupid

Hinata chuckles.

Shoyo: sounds about right

Hinata stares at the screen, but the dots don’t appear right away. He looks up to Kageyama, who shrugs. They both wait. After a few minutes, another message appears.

Natsu: where are you?

Shoyo: Tokyo

Natsu: oh

There’s another pause, and Hinata debates whether to say something or wait for a response. He asks Kageyama, “What should I say now?”

Kageyama’s brows draw together as he thinks. “I don’t know. Do you want to know why she texted? Or do you want to tell her anything?”

There is so much Hinata wants to say. Too much for a text, maybe too much for a lifetime. How are their parents? Is their grandmother well, or he realizes with a jolt, is she even still alive? Do they forgive him? Do they still love him?

Does she still love him?

As he’s considering how to respond, the three dots appear again, and a few seconds later, a message appears.

Natsu: i miss you

A sob erupts from Hinata’s throat, and he hangs his head in shame. His eyes sting and start to water. Kageyama reads the message, drapes his arm over Hinata’s shoulder and squeezes in a gesture of comfort.

A tear drips onto the screen.

Hinata swipes it away, then types:

Shoyo: i miss you too

He waits for her reply with a tightness in his chest. Finally, it comes.

Natsu: why didn’t you ever come home?

The words slice through his heart, and the guilt rises sharp in his gut even as bile rises in his throat. Kageyama gasps softly as he reads the message, then squeezes his hand again, encouraging him.

Hinata’s hands continue to tremble, but he manages to answer honestly.

Shoyo: i was afraid and ashamed

Hinata waits, wondering how that will be received, if Natsu can forgive him for his stupid, selfish behavior.

Natsu: still?

Oh, if she only knew the shame, the regret. Hinata is not sure he will ever fully shake the feeling. When he first left, he was ashamed of his choices, then he was ashamed he’d been manipulated and abused. Now he’s – not ashamed, that’s not the word – but worried about how they’d react if they knew he had a child with his dead abuser.

Shoyo: idk. it’s complicated

It’s the honest answer, he supposes. He holds his breath, waiting for her response.

Natsu: mom misses you too

The words shake Hinata to the core. He looks up at Kageyama to confirm he’s read it right, to check if Kageyama sees the same thing he is. Kageyama turns up one side of his mouth in a small, encouraging smile, and nods as if to say, ‘Go on, answer her.’

Hinata’s hands still shake.

Shoyo: she does? she told you?

Natsu: no but she goes in your room and cries sometimes

Another sob as Hinata absorbs the news, both at the heartache he’s caused his mother and the realization that she misses him. Could it be that he could go back now? Could they actually forgive him?

He looks up at Kageyama, who’s smiling more now. “That’s good, Shoyo.”

“That she cries?” he responds sarcastically, but Kageyama isn’t fazed.

“No. But she misses you. That shows it’s not as bad as you think.”

Hinata considers Kageyama’s words, but there’s still one thing he has to know.

Shoyo: what about dad?

The response takes a minute as if Natsu is deciding what to say.

Natsu: idk he never talks about you

Shoyo: oh

Now what? His father could still be angry, could still never want to see him. But if his mother and sister would forgive him, could his father as well?

Hinata looks at Kageyama again. “What now?”

“I don’t know, it’s up to you. But you could go see them. Your mom and sister want to see you.”

“But I don’t know about my father.”

Kageyama hesitates slightly and presses his lips together for a moment before he says, “Hinata, I think your dad would forgive you too. I think he loves you just as much as your mother. I don’t think he would stay mad at you.”

“Why do you think that?” Hinata asks, genuinely curious.

Kageyama’s eyes flick away towards the window they are facing. He doesn’t look at Hinata when he answers, “When you had Suki, you said you understand how your mom feels about you. And I just…” He finally meets Hinata’s amber eyes. “Look, I know Suki isn’t mine, but I get how your dad feels.”

Hinata’s heart squeezes with affection for the alpha who loves Hinata’s daughter as if she were his own. He needs to talk to Kageyama, to tell him how much he loves him, how he wants them to be a real family, and the words threaten to bubble out without his consent.

But he clamps his mouth shut. Now is not the time. Not with this situation hanging over him, driving his anxiety, plaguing him with indecision. He types the honest response.

Shoyo: i’ll think about coming home

Natsu: please come, sho

Hinata hesitates for a second, not wanting to promise her anything, needing time to think. Then he sends a final message.

Shoyo: i will, i promise. i love you

Natsu: love you too <3

Hinata hangs his head, feeling exhausted after the exchange. Kageyama pulls him into a hug and kisses the top of his head.

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I could go back. We could drive to Miyagi on Monday on our day off.”

“If that’s what you want, I’ll take you.”

“They don’t know about Suki.”

“No, they don’t.”

Hinata’s shame bubbles up again. “I’d show up with a pup, unmated.”

“I don’t think they’ll care. They’ll just be happy to see you, I think.”

“Let me think about it.”

“That’s fine. You have four days to decide.”

Hinata nods and sets his phone down. Then he remembers something. “You said you wanted to talk to me about something?”

Kageyama frowns, then shakes his head. “It’s nothing important. We can talk later when you’re not so worried about your family.”

Hinata studies the alpha for a few seconds, sensing it is important, but he knows not to push Kageyama until he’s ready to do something.

“Okay, well. I should get the bedding changed.”

Kageyama helps him strip the bed and put on new sheets. When the bed is made, Hinata looks at the alpha, debating what to say. He wants to ask Kageyama to stay with him, but he has no reason now that his heat is over and Suki sleeps in her nursery.

If Kageyama notices Hinata’s distress, he doesn’t show it. “Well, goodnight I guess.”

Hinata watches Kageyama’s broad back as the alpha leaves his bedroom and closes the door behind him.

“Goodnight.”

 

++++

 

The sheets are cold.

Hinata’s brain homes in on that particular sensation. He’s had Kageyama in his bed for the last several days, keeping him warm, taking care of him in every way.

And now he’s alone.

He reaches over a hand to the side where Kageyama used to sleep when Suki was a newborn. He closes his eyes and remembers the feeling of a warm body next to him in sleep, and the images morph into memories of a hot body on him and inside him during his heat.

Fucking hell that had been amazing.

He feels the tears well up unexpectedly and recognizes the message from Natsu has just jacked up the emotions already churning due to his heat experience.

He went from thinking Kageyama viewed him as a friend, to wondering if the alpha felt something more for him. He had some indications, some clues to support that idea, and they seemed to add up. But the conversation the night before his heat killed those hopes.

Kageyama wanted his first time to be with someone special, someone he loved. He admitted as much.

But then he came anyway and said it wasn’t an issue.

Something nags at Hinata as he considers the words. He was in heat, so his memory isn’t always clear, but he’s pretty sure that’s what Kageyama said. So does that mean Kageyama gave up on that hope for Hinata? Why would Kageyama do that? If he had waited for the right person for years, why would he change his mind in twelve hours? It doesn’t make sense.

Hinata rolls over and thinks hard, trying his best to remember Kageyama’s words and actions during the haze of his heat.

He knows Kageyama took good care of him, gave him what he needed. Kageyama kissed him sweetly when he asked, touched him when he wanted, fucked him hard when he needed it. The alpha lessened his pain, made sure he ate and drank enough, comforted him with his body and his words. He told him not to worry, that he’d take care of him, that he is beautiful despite the scars he bears because of childbirth.

And at one point, Kageyama said he would do anything for Hinata. Hinata is not sure he will ever forget those words.

They’re not the words of a friend, of that he’s sure.

But the one thing that doesn’t fit is Kageyama saying he wanted to wait for the right person to lose his virginity to.

Hinata rolls onto his back and stares into the darkness, considering the possibility that Kageyama has feelings for him too.

Loves him back.

Knowing everything he knows now, Hinata supposes he could confront the alpha, confess his feelings, see what happens. Part of him wants to march across the kitchen to Kageyama’s bedroom and do it right now. Because now that he’s has a taste of what it could be like if they were really together, he wants it more than ever. He wants it all, all the tender kisses and hand holding and family time. And yes, the sex.

But he won’t because of Natsu’s message, this stuff with his family, the possibility of going home and maybe being forgiven or maybe being cast out again.

If Kageyama rejects him now, it will crush him, and he can’t bear the idea of losing Kageyama and facing his family at the same time. That would be too much for his fragile heart to bear.

Hinata considers Natsu’s message, sent to him out of the blue, giving him hope he’d dared not entertain until now. He could do it, go home, come clean, beg for forgiveness. He’s optimistic that his mom and Natsu would be happy to see him. But he’s still not sure about his dad.

He rolls onto his side again. It would shock them if he showed up with Suki, he’s sure. But if they still loved him, they’d love her too, right?

He needs to think it over, get comfortable with the idea. As Kageyama said, tomorrow is Thursday, and they wouldn’t go until Monday anyway. He has four days to decide.

To see if he’s brave enough to risk his pride and his heart.

 

++++

 

The next morning, Hinata comes down to the bakery with Suki in his arms and finds Yachi already in the kitchen.

“Hinata! Good to see you! And this adorable girl of yours!” Yachi practically snatches Suki from Hinata’s arms, and Hinata chuckles as his co-worker fawns over his daughter. Yachi talks with and entertains Suki for some time while Hinata joins Kageyama in the kitchens. They work in silence, side by side, and Hinata feels a calmness settle over him, that familiar comfort of having the alpha close by doing what they both love.

When Yachi deposits Suki in her playpen and grabs an apron, Kageyama leaves the kitchen to stock the cases up front with freshly made treats.

“So,” Yachi says with a smirk as she faces Hinata across the counter. “How was it?”

“How was what?” Hinata asks, confused.

Yachi rolls her eyes. “Kageyama said you had your heat and that he was staying with you. So how was it? The sex?”

Hinata can feel the blood flood his cheeks, and he’s sure he’s as pink as the icing he’s frosting cupcakes with right this moment.

“He told you that??”

Yachi shrugs noncommittedly. “Well?”

Hinata stares at the cupcakes in front of him to avoid her stare. “It was good, I guess.”

“That’s all?” Yachi presses.

Hinata looks up to meet her gaze. “It was good, really good, okay?”

Yachi actually giggles. “Aha, I knew it! And did you two, you know, talk about anything?”

Hinata goes back to frosting cupcakes. “Come on, Yachi-san. You’re an omega. You know there’s not a lot of talking going on during heats.”

“I know but I thought maybe you two might have talked when things were quiet or maybe after.”

Hinata pins her with another stare. “About what? What are you talking about?”

Yachi actually growls with frustration. “You two! You two are so… frustrating!” [Morgan Freeman voice: Yachi is all of us.]

Hinata wants to ask what she means, but Kageyama comes back into the kitchen. Hinata glares at her for another several seconds, wondering what she knows that he doesn’t.

 

++++

 

Sunday night after they put Suki to bed, Hinata sits down with Kageyama to watch one of their favorite baking shows. He’s staring at the television but not really seeing anything. He’s too distracted.

He’s been thinking for days and thinks he wants to do it. To take the chance.

“Kageyama?”

“Yeah?” Kageyama answers automatically.

“I think I want to go home.”

Kageyama’s eyes snap to Hinata’s. “If that’s what you want, I’ll drive you tomorrow.”

Hinata nods. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

He knows Kageyama means it.

The next morning, Hinata is anxious and flustered. He wonders if he should pack for a few days, in case his family accepts him back and he stays for a while. If they don’t, Kageyama will drive them home the next day, so he at least has to pack overnight.

He sits on his bed, staring at the open suitcase on his bed, going through every scenario he can picture, from a warm welcome to a nasty confrontation. He fidgets and stares out the window. He knows he should pack something, just in case, but he can’t seem to move.

Kageyama knocks on the door. “Hey, are you almost packed? It’s almost time to leave.”

They had agreed to leave after lunch so that Suki would sleep for the first couple of hours of the four-hour drive, and also so that they arrive in Miyagi when his parents are home from work and Natsu is home from school. It’s after twelve o’clock, and Hinata hasn’t packed yet. Kageyama’s reminder spurs him into action.

“Yes, I’m almost done,” he lies.

He opens his top drawer, and overwhelmed with what to choose, he scoops up an armful of underwear and socks and tosses them in the bag. From the second drawer, he grabs an armful of shirts, and from the bottom drawer, an armful of pants. He closes the suitcase over the mound of disarrayed clothes and zips it shut. He grabs his second suitcase from the closet and exits his room. In the living room, Kageyama is on a blanket on the floor with Suki, and they are playing with the red wooden train. Despite his anxiety, Hinata has to smile at the scene.

In Suki’s room, he grabs armfuls of diapers, pajamas and clothes, not even bothering to look at what he’s chosen. He knows Kageyama already packed other necessities and toys for Suki, so he’s just grabbing whatever’s left. He can’t think too hard now, not when his stomach is churning and it’s time to leave.

When the car is loaded with Suki’s portable crib, all of their suitcases, and the three of them, they pull out of the driveway and head toward Miyagi. As hoped, Suki falls asleep quickly, so the first part of the ride is quiet and calm. But Hinata’s emotions are all over the place. He bounces his leg, taps his knee, bites his fingernails, among other nervous gestures. He notices Kageyama glancing over at him every few minutes from behind the wheel.

Finally, the alpha says, “It’s going to be alright, Hinata.”

Hinata looks up and studies Kageyama’s handsome profile. “Do you really think so?”

Kageyama pins him with a serious, earnest gaze. “Yes, I do.”

Hinata nods as if to reassure himself, but his stomach is still in knots, and his worry only increases the closer they get to his parents’ house.

After a stop to use the bathroom and a couple more hours of driving, they arrive in Miyagi. As they enter Hinata’s neighborhood, he suddenly exclaims, “Kageyama, pull over. Please.”

Kageyama seems startled but parks the car and turns to Hinata. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I’m not sure I can do this,” Hinata says.

Kageyama presses his lips together and grabs Hinata’s hand. He squeezes slightly, then says, “I really think it’s going to be okay, Sho. But even if it’s not, this is the right thing to do. To at least try to say you’re sorry and reconnect. And if they don’t want you back, I’m here. I’ll always be here for you. You’re not alone.”

Tears well in Hinata’s eyes at the sweet gesture and words. God, he loves this man. And he’s going to tell him soon. Just as soon as he gets past this visit to his family.

He nods several times and says, “Thanks, ‘Yama.”

“Okay now?”

“Yeah. Okay. Let’s do this.”

A moment later, Kageyama parks the car in front of Hinata’s childhood home. They sit there for a minute as Hinata works up his courage.

“Do you want to bring Suki with you?”

“No, not now,” Hinata responds. “If they accept me back, I want it to be because of me, not her. And if they reject me, I don’t want her in the middle of it.”

“Okay, I’ll be right here,” Kageyama tells him. “Just signal if you need me.”

Hinata looks over again at Kageyama’s face. He’s wearing his concerned frown, and it’s adorable. It occurs to him how much Kageyama has done for him, how much he’s relied on the alpha over the last year.

How much he loves him.

He can do this, Hinata decides. Kageyama is right. Regardless of the outcome, it’s the right thing to do. He gets out of the car and approaches the front door, wiping his now sweaty palms on his pants. His pulse is racing. He hesitates at the door, swiveling his head to get a final glance at Kageyama in the car. Kageyama gives him a thumbs up, and Hinata turns back to the door.

Taking a deep breath, he rings the doorbell.

He hears footsteps from the house and braces himself. The door swings open, and there is Natsu. She’s taller and her face is more mature than when he left. He realizes how happy he is to set eyes on her after two and a half years.

Her scream erupts as she throws herself at him. “Oniisan! You’re here!” She wraps her arms around him and squeezes him so tight he can hardly breathe.

“Yeah, I’m here. I missed you, Natsu. So much. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left.”

“I’m so glad you came home,” she whispers, and he can hear her voice crack.

“Me too. You’ve gotten almost as tall as me.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Hinata hears a gasp from behind Natsu and opens his eyes. His mother stands there, looking just the same. Her eyes are wide, and her hand covers her mouth.

“Shoyo? Shoyo, is it really you?”

Natsu disentangles herself, and Hinata steps forward. “Hi, Mom.”

Mrs. Hinata lets out a sob, then steps toward Hinata, cupping his face in both hands. “My boy.  You’re here. I’m so happy you’re here. I’ve missed you so much.”

“Mom,” Hinata says as his throat clogs up. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I was so stupid.”

She pulls him into a tight hug. “Shh, it’s okay now. It’s in the past. It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re here.”

Hinata tries to hold back his tears as he clings to his mother. He has so many emotions swirling in his brain, thankfulness, regret, happiness, sadness. It’s all too much to process.

Finally, his mom steps back and holds him by the shoulders. “Let me look at you. You look well. Are you well?”

“Yeah, Mom. I’m good.”

“Okay, then. Let’s go get your fa…” She turns and notices her husband behind her at the same time Hinata registers his father in the doorway. He looks stern. He’s frowning and his brows are drawn together. Hinata feels his heart start to pound in his chest.

“Dad.”

It takes a few heartbeats, but his father’s lips start to tremble, then he steps toward Hinata and envelops him in a big hug.

His voice is scratchy as he says, “Son. I’m so sorry. I’ve regretted my words every day since you left. I’m so sorry. I’m so glad you’ve come home.”

“Dad,” Hinata cries, unable to hold back anymore. “I’m sorry too. I was so stupid.”

“We both said and did things we regret. It’s okay now. You’re back. I’m so glad you’re back.”

They hug for another several seconds until Mr. Hinata pulls away. Hinata wipes his tears with his hands, then nods to himself as if to assure himself this is real.

“Let’s go inside, shall we?” Hinata’s mother says. “We can talk over dinner.”

“Wait,” Hinata says. “There’s someone here with me.”

His father looks murderous. “It’s not Sunada is it?” His voice is laced with contempt.

“No. He’s not in the picture anymore.” Hinata watches his father relax as he waves Kageyama forward. Kageyama gets out of the car and retrieves Suki from the backseat. Hinata hears his mother gasp again.

His parents and sister stand in stunned silence while Kageyama approaches the door and hands Suki to Hinata. Hinata kisses the baby’s forehead, then turns to his family.

“Mom, Dad, Natsu. This is Suki. My daughter.”

The words seem to take a couple of seconds to seep in, then Hinata’s mother squeals with delight. “I have a granddaughter? Oh my goodness, Shoyo! She’s beautiful! And looks just like you!”

Mrs. Hinata practically wrenches Suki from Hinata’s arms. “Hello, there, Suki. I’m your grandma. Aren’t you beautiful!”

“How old is she?” Natsu asks.

“Four months. She was born on May 5.”

“My goodness,” Mrs. Hinata says. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“Yeah,” Hinata agrees.

Hinata notices his father examining his unmarked scent glands, but he is relieved when he doesn’t comment on his unmated status.

Instead, Mr. Hinata gestures to Kageyama and asks, “Is this Suki’s father?”

“Um, no,” Hinata says clearing his throat. “Dad, everyone, this is Kageyama Tobio. He’s my boss, my roommate and my friend. He drove me here from Tokyo.”

Hinata’s father seems to relax. He bows slightly and holds out his hand to Kageyama. “Nice to meet you, Kageyama. Thank you for bringing Shoyo home to us.”

“It was my pleasure, Mr. Hinata.” Kageyama bows slightly as he shakes Mr. Hinata’s hands.

“Let’s go inside now,” Hinata’s mother says. “We have so much to talk about!”

Because the dinner they had prepared is not enough for the extra mouths, they order food to be delivered while they sit in the living room. Hinata sits in one side chair and Kageyama in the other while his mother rests on the sofa holding his daughter with his father and Natsu on either side.

“Is she healthy? Does she eat well? She’s lovely, and so much like you! How does she sleep? She has such pretty eyes, doesn’t she? Natsu, she looks like you as a baby. What’s her full name?”

Hinata’s mother peppers him with questions as she fawns over the baby. Hinata answers dutifully and earns a hug from Natsu when he says Suki’s full name is Natsuki and that he thought of Natsu when he named her.

When the food arrives, they sit around the kitchen table and catch up on what has happened in the last two and a half years. They discuss his parents’ jobs, his grandmother’s good health and Natsu’s school. Hinata tells them about his life in Tokyo and his job at the bakery. They steer away from more serious conversations by silent agreement until dinner is finished. When the dinner dishes are cleared and washed, they all gather around the table again with cups of tea.

Kageyama holds Suki in his lap, and she grips her fist around his finger as Hinata’s mother asks him, “Can you tell us what happened after you left? I want you to know that we tried to contact you immediately, but we didn’t have a phone number for you or Sunada, or an address. We searched online for Sunadas in Tokyo, but there were so many. And we could never find your name. I even got every social media platform and looked for you there, but I didn’t see an account for you even though Natsu thought you had been on most of them.”

“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t have any social media because I deleted it.”

“Why?” Natsu asks, as if deleting socials is beyond comprehension.

Hinata doesn’t want to lie but also doesn’t want his little sister to hear about Sunada’s abuse. “It’s complicated. I wasn’t really myself for a while. You know that Sunada said he would pay for me to attend culinary school when we got to Tokyo, but that… didn’t work out.” Hinata looks at his hands as he fidgets.

“So what did you do in Tokyo if you didn’t attend school?” his mother asks.

“Well, I um, stayed home. Kept the house clean, cooked, you know.” Hinata looks up into his mother’s eyes and knows she perceives there’s more.

“Oh,” she says. “Well, that must have been relaxing, I guess.” Her tone is strange.

“It wasn’t really. Things with me and Sunada didn’t go well. Within six or seven months, I knew I’d made a mistake.”

“Why didn’t you come home then?” Hinata’s father asks.

“It’s complicated, Dad. But I just couldn’t.”

His father shoots a look at his mother, then they both look at Natsu. “What?” Natsu says.

“Nothing. So, Shoyo, what happened then?”

“I found out I was pregnant with Suki last August. Mom, Dad, you have to believe me. I used birth control, I swear. I wasn’t irresponsible or anything. Just the birth control didn’t work.”

Hinata looks at Natsu to gauge her reaction. He’s not used to talking about sex in front of his little sister. She doesn’t look grossed out or anything, so he guesses that’s good.

“I believe you, Shoyo. What happened?” Mrs. Hinata asks.

“Well, because things with Sunada were… not good, I knew I didn’t want to raise my baby with him. So I went to Kageyama’s bakery for a job.”

Hinata’s father looks surprised and addresses Kageyama. “It’s your bakery? You own it?”

“Yes, sir. My grandfather left it to me when he passed two years ago.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. You’re quite young to be a business owner, aren’t you?”

“I’m twenty-one, sir. I’ll be twenty-two in December.”

“And does your business do well?”

“Yes, sir. Especially since Hinata came on board last year. He’s had a lot of good ideas that have increased business, and I was able to hire another employee last spring before Suki was born.”

Mr. Hinata nods with satisfaction, whether from the fact that Kageyama’s business is stable or that Kageyama is not as old as Sunada, Hinata is not sure.

“What then, honey?” Mrs. Hinata asks.

“Kageyama gave me a job, and I started to save money so I could leave Sunada. I tried to hide my pregnancy from him, but he found out and he wasn’t happy. We fought, and I left him. I went to the bakery to get the money I had saved and…”

Natsu chimes in, “Why was your money at the bakery?”

Hinata panics, realizing he just hinted at the abuse he suffered. He doesn’t want to alarm anyone so he deflects, “Oh, um, just for safekeeping. Anyway,” he goes on, not waiting for a response, “Kageyama offered for me to stay in his spare room until I got on my feet. But then when the baby was almost due, it just seemed better to stay there, you know. So I’ve been there ever since. Suki was born in May. I had to have a c-section, but Kageyama was at the hospital with me. And he helped me after she was born. And I guess, now we’re here.”

Again, Hinata’s mother and father share a look that Hinata catches. He glances at Kageyama, who’s wearing frown that shows he’s worried.

His mother says cheerily, “Well, I guess now we know. But we are so happy you’re back, Shoyo. Truly.”

“I’m glad to be back, Mom.”

Kageyama interjects, “Sho, it’s getting near Suki’s bedtime. Are we staying here or leaving to…?”

“Of course you can stay here,” Mrs. Hinata interjects. “You can stay in your room as long as you have a place for Suki to sleep.”

“Yes, we have a portable crib.”

“Oh, but what about Kageyama?” Mrs. Hinata turns to Kageyama and says, “I’m sorry, Kageyama-kun, but we don’t have a spare bed or an extra futon.”

Kageyama opens his mouth but Hinata interrupts. “It’s okay. Kageyama can sleep with me.” Hinata watches as Kageyama snaps his mouth shut and looks at him questioningly.

“Oh,” Mrs. Hinata says, looking back and forth between the two. “Oh, okay then. Yes, then it’s settled.”

“I’ll put her to bed then so you can spend more time with your family.”

“That would be great. Thanks, ‘Yama.” Kageyama stands and brings Suki to Hinata. He hugs and kisses her and smooths back her ginger fuzz. “Goodnight, my love. Mommy loves you.”

Kageyama leaves the room, and Mrs. Hinata says to Natsu, “You should do your homework and get to bed as well, Natsu.”

Natsu rolls her eyes but gets up from the table and gives Hinata a hug around his shoulder. “Goodnight, oniisan. Night mom, night dad.”

When Hinata is alone with his parents, his mother suggests they move to the living room. When they sit, she tells Hinata, “Now, tell us everything you left out because of your sister.”

Hinata takes a deep breath and recounts most of the ugliness with Sunada. He tells them about the broken promises, the demeaning comments, the isolation. He talks about how he was not allowed to get a job, have money or a bank account, to have friends or social media. How Sunada controlled every aspect of his life. How he thought about coming home but had no money to get there. How he was ashamed of what he’d done.

Hinata’s father seethes as Hinata goes on, and finally exclaims, “If I ever see that piece of shit, I’m going to kill him!”

“You don’t have to, Dad. He’s dead.”

“What?” Mrs. Hinata gasps.

“He died when I was pregnant. They think he overdosed on alcohol and drugs.”

“Oh!” Hinata’s mother says at the same time his father says, “Good.”

“I wasn’t sad, and I feel guilty about that,” Hinata admits.

“Don’t waste any sympathy on that monster,” his mother insists.

“And you’re well now? You enjoy your job? You and Suki are safe and happy?” Mr. Hinata asks.

“Yeah, Dad. We are. I love working with Kageyama at the bakery. He’s taught me so much, and I’m getting really good at many recipes now. And yes, Suki and I are happy. Kageyama is really good with her. He helps me a lot. Overall, my life is pretty good. It’s better now, though, now that I know you don’t hate me.”

“We could never hate you, Shoyo. You’re our son,” his mother says sincerely.

“Yeah, I began to understand that when I had Suki.”

“Well, we’re just glad you came back, glad you can forgive us. Forgive me.”

“We all said things we regret, Dad. I’m sorry I was so stupid. You both tried to warn me about him, but I didn’t listen. I was so ashamed of that.”

“Honey, you were young and impressionable. He paid attention to you, made you feel special. It’s no shame to be taken in by a manipulator.”

“You knew what he was?”

“I suspected,” Mrs. Hinata continued. “We both did. He was so much older than you, and so smooth, so slick. I just felt he had ulterior motives.”

“I wish I’d listened. I’m sorry I didn’t.”

“And we’re so sorry at what you went through. We would have gotten you out of there if we could have, Shoyo. You know that, right?”

“I know, Mom. It’s my fault I stayed.”

“Don’t go blaming yourself, son. You were the victim.”

Hinata nods to acknowledge his father’s words, then his mother adds. “And now you have Suki, so some good did come out of that awful situation.”

“Yes, you’re right about that.”

“Well, you two night owls can keep talking, but this old man needs to get some sleep,” Hinata’s father says as he stands. “Will you be up before I leave for work?”

“Yes, I should be,” Hinata answers.

“Then I’ll see you in the morning, son.” Mr. Hinata grips Hinata’s shoulder and squeezes tightly.

“Goodnight, Dad.”

Shortly after, Hinata and his mom also head to bed. Hinata tiptoes into his childhood bedroom to find Suki asleep in her portable crib and Kageyama awake in his childhood bed. It’s a tight fit, but Hinata doesn’t mind.

Hinata climbs in and faces Kageyama’s shadow.

“Hey,” Kageyama says.

“Hey.”

“I told you it would be alright, dumbass.”

Hinata smiles into the darkness. “Yeah. You did. You were right.”

Hinata hears Kageyama scoff. “Of course I was.”

“Thank you, ‘Yama. For being here. It helped. A lot.”

“I’ll always be there for you.”

Hinata reaches out a hand in the darkness, sliding it towards Kageyama’s shadowed form. He is relieved when he feels Kageyama’s big, strong hand grasp his and squeeze.

“Goodnight, Sho.”

“Goodnight, Tobio.”

 

++++

 

The next morning, Hinata wakes early with Suki and sees his father off to work and Natsu off to school. When his mother makes no move to dress for work, he asks why, and she tells him she’s taken the day off.

Hinata and his mother spend the morning with Suki as Kageyama looks on. Hinata feels slightly guilty that Kageyama doesn’t have much to do to help with Suki with his mother around. As a grandmother, she wants to dress and play and hold the baby as much as possible. Hinata can see Kageyama pouting and feels sorry, but he also thinks it’s ridiculously adorable.

As Suki naps, the three adults sit down to lunch, and Kageyama says to Hinata, “I have to leave soon to get back and open the bakery tomorrow morning. What are you going to do?”

“Oh, um, I hadn’t thought about it,” Hinata says as his eyes slide from Kageyama to his mother.

“Oh, Shoyo, honey, please stay for a few days, at least. We’ve just gotten you back, and we’ve just met Suki.”

Hinata looks back to Kageyama. “Can you handle the bakery without me for a week? Maybe you can come back next Monday?” He then turns to his mother and explains, “The bakery is closed on Mondays and Tuesdays.”

Kageyama nods. “Sure. Yachi and I can handle it, if that’s what you want.”

“Yeah, I think I do. Mom, you’re sure it’s okay?”

“It’s more than okay, my love.”

“Okay, then. It’s settled,” Hinata says. After lunch, he watches Kageyama pack his duffle bag, kiss Suki on the top of her head, and say goodbye to his mother.

“Thank you, Mrs. Hinata, for your hospitality.”

“Oh, you’re most welcome, Kageyama-kun. Any friend of Shoyo’s is welcome here.”

“Except Sunada,” Hinata mumbles under his breath.

Hinata waves as Kageyama drives away, and he immediately feels lonely, which is ridiculous considering he is surrounded by his family.

That night, the bed feels cold again.

 

++++

 

Hinata and Suki spend the next few days enjoying Hinata’s family. His parents dote on the baby, and they all enjoy playing with her and catching up. It almost feels like old times, Hinata thinks as a peace settles over him like a warm blanket.

He waited so long to come back out of some foolish pride, some misplaced shame. But that’s all in the past now. He has his family back. After all this time, the hole he’d felt in his heart seems full again.

Yet at night, he misses Kageyama. He misses the bakery and their bickering. He’s texted Kageyama a few times but only gets brief responses, and it almost feels like Kageyama is angry with him, though he has no idea what for.

One night, after everyone else is asleep, Hinata and his mother sit together drinking tea. Hinata sent a text to Kageyama a few hours before, but so far, the alpha hasn’t responded.

“What’s going on?” Mrs. Hinata asks, nodding toward Hinata’s phone.

“Oh, Kageyama hasn’t answered my text.”

“Is that unusual?”

“Well, I’m not sure. I mean, we’re usually together so…”

“Tell me more about him,” his mother asks, sipping her tea.

Hinata smiles and puts down the phone. “Oh, well, he’s great. I owe him everything, Mom. Without him, I wouldn’t have a place to live or a job that I love. He’s been so helpful with Suki.”

“I noticed that when he was here,” Mrs. Hinata comments.

“When I was pregnant, he made sure I ate right, took me to the doctor’s appointments and rubbed my feet and ankles when they were sore and swollen.”

“Really?” his mother asks, one eyebrow arching.

“Yes. And he stayed with me at the hospital. I was terrified when they told me I would need a c-section. But he was right there with me, so I wasn’t alone.”

Hinata can see his mother’s face soften. “I’m so glad you weren’t alone, son.”

“And then he helped so much after my surgery. I couldn’t get up very well with the pain, and so he got up with Suki and changed her so I didn’t have to get up and down so much.”

Mrs. Hinata arches an eyebrow. “Is that so? Well, I’m glad you had help after surgery. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“I wanted you there, Mom. I really did. I’m not too proud to admit I cried for you more than once. I had no idea how hard it was to be a parent. But Kageyama helped a lot, especially at night.”

“He got up with her during the night?”

“Yes, until she started sleeping through the night a little over a month ago.”

“Kageyama got up with your baby in the middle of the night for three months?” She sounds incredulous, and Hinata feels the need to defend Kageyama.

“Yes?”

“Isn’t that inconvenient for him?”

“I mean, she slept in the room with us, so it wasn’t that inconvenient.”

“Oooh,” Mrs. Hinata says. “So you are sleeping with him.”

“What? No! Kageyama and I aren’t together.”

Hinata’s mother scowls at him. “I don’t get it. You talk about him as if he hangs the moon, he dotes on you and your baby, and you sleep in the same bed, but you’re not together?”

Hinata hangs his head in his hands. “No,” he replies, the word muffled by his palms.

A few seconds tick by, and then his mother asks, “But you want to be?”

Hinata nods.

“So why aren’t you? You obviously love him.”

Hinata looks up, thankful to finally have someone to talk to about this. “Because I’m not sure he loves me back.”

Mrs. Hinata sits stunned for a moment, then breaks out laughing.

“What? Why are you laughing?” Hinata asks, stung.

“Oh, honey. You know I love you, but you are so stupid.”

Hinata blanches at the insult. “Why do you say that?”

“Oh, sweetie. That man adores you! He looks at you as if you are the world, and the way he treats your child is not how a ‘friend’ acts. A man does not get up in the middle of the night for three months for a ‘friend.’ A man does not rub his friend’s feet. A man does not make sure his ‘friend’ eats healthy and gets enough rest. He’s courting you!”

“What? That’s not true. We’re friends.”

“Sweetheart, whatever is going on in your head, it’s evident that everything he’s done for you has been courting behavior.”

“But he gave me a gift once and specifically said it wasn’t a courting gift.”

“Well, that is strange, but maybe he thought you wouldn’t accept a courting gift from him.”

Hinata sticks out his bottom lip as he considers his mother’s words. “You really think so? You think he loves me back?”

“Yes. I do.”

“Oh.”

The idea forces a flood of emotions into Hinata’s chest, and he is momentarily unable to speak or breathe.

“Oh.”

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

“I’ve wanted to confess for so long, but I wasn’t sure he wanted me back. I wondered, suspected, but I wasn’t sure.”

“Shoyo, honey. I’m as sure of this as I’ve ever been.”

Hinata bites his bottom lip. He should do it. He should confess to Kageyama. He thinks about how he has Suki, has his family back. If only he had Kageyama by his side for real, as a partner, if only he and Kageyama and Suki could be a family, his life would be damn near perfect.

Hinata looks up at his mother. “Okay, I’m going to do it when he comes on Monday.”

Mrs. Hinata squeezes his hand and smile. “I’m happy for you, Shoyo. He’s a good man, a good alpha. From everything I see, he takes good care of you and your pup. You’d be lucky to have him, and he you.”

“Yeah, I think so too, Mom. Thanks.”

When his mother heads to bed, Hinata decides to call Kageyama instead of waiting for a text back. Kageyama picks up on the third ring, sounding worried.

“Hinata? Are you okay? Is Suki?”

“Yeah, we’re fine. You didn’t answer my text.”

“Oh, I got busy and forgot I guess.

“You doing alright?”

“Yeah. It’s quiet here,” Kageyama admits.

“I bet.”

“So listen, I want to talk to you about something when you come back to Miyagi on Monday.”

“What is it?”

“Not over the phone. I want to do it in person.”

Kageyama hesitates slightly. “Okay. I guess.”

“Okay, then. I’ll see you in a few days. Goodnight, ‘Yama.”

“Night, Hinata.”

Hinata disconnects the call and smiles to himself.

What he wants is almost within reach.

 

///

 

Notes:

The confession is coming soon, next chapter I think (unless it gets too long)

Chapter 23: Truth

Summary:

In the quiet of the empty apartment, Kageyama finds that Hinata’s been hiding something that could change everything

Notes:

Sorry in advance for the angst

It’s too quiet.

Kageyama keys into the empty apartment Tuesday evening after driving back from Miyagi and is greeted by Mikeneko rubbing against his legs. He stoops down to pet the cat, then tosses his duffle bag in his room. He ensures the cat has enough food and water and scoops the litter. He throws in a load of laundry and heats some canned soup for himself.

He eats in deafening silence.

There’s no fussing or cooing from Suki, no chattering from Hinata.

He shivers even though he’s not cold.

He cleans up the dishes and looks around the apartment for something to clean, but everything is in order. He checks the time, but it’s only eight o’clock, so he puts on a baking show, watching numbly.

It’s no fun without Hinata commenting and making snarky comments.

He shuts off the television.

Restless, he stands and goes to Suki’s room. He arranges the stuffed animals on the dresser and peers into her empty crib.

His heart squeezes.

He eyes the mobile that he gifted Hinata and gently runs his finger over the red train that hangs from the string. The whole mobile sways gently.

For some reason, it makes him so sad he has to leave right away.

He closes the door behind him. Remembering the laundry, he moves it from the washer to the dryer. After pressing the buttons, he stands in a daze, wondering what to do with his time.

He feels lost.

He wanders back to his bedroom and showers for lack of something better to do. He dresses in boxer briefs and climbs into bed. It’s not even ten o’clock, but he turns off the light and tries to sleep.

But sleep doesn’t come.

His alpha grumbles about having his pack so far away where he can’t protect them. He misses Suki. He misses reading to her and singing her to sleep. And he misses Hinata. His smile, his voice, the joy he fills the apartment with.

Ever since Hinata’s heat – has it only been six days? – his mind has overflowed with images of Hinata, flushed and hot, wanting, moaning.

Begging for his knot.

Those four days were surreal, a literal dream come true. He wants that again, so badly he can taste it. The yearning is so deep, so visceral that he feels his gut clench at the thought.

And he had been almost sure Hinata wanted that too. Wanted him back. Loved him back.

He knows Hinata needs to do this, needs to be with his family after the long absence, needs to try to mend the broken bonds.

As he stares into the darkness, too agitated to keep his eyes closed, it occurs to him that Hinata might want to stay in Miyagi.

The thought causes him to gasp out loud.

He covers his mouth with his hand, though no one is around to hear him. His heart thumps and his pulse races.

Would Hinata really want to do that? Kageyama considers the reasons to stay. Hinata would have a lot of help with Suki, and she would grow up surrounded by family and friends. Something he definitely doesn’t have here.

In Miyagi, Suki would have a yard with a swing set – Kageyama saw it when he was there. She would have a nice house filled with love, and Hinata would not have to worry so much about her care because he’d have all kinds of babysitters readily available.

Now that Kageyama thinks of it, there are a lot of reasons for Hinata to stay in Miyagi. And only one reason to come back.

Kageyama himself.

But is that enough? He thought that Hinata might possibly love him back, but is that enough to leave his family? To leave his home, to leave a place where he can raise his daughter in safety and comfort?

Kageyama throws his arm over his face and tries to fight the lump in his throat and the tears that are starting to form. The idea is unbearable.

But, the rationale part of his brain reminds him that he wants Hinata to be happy, and if that is without him, shouldn’t he accept that?

The conversation with Miwa pops back into his mind, how he said he would probably get his heart broken. Maybe that time is coming.

It’s sooner than he expected.

He wants more time.

He tosses and turns that night, unable to shake the feeling of dread, the sensation that this idyllic life he’s enjoyed for the last year is about to come to an end.

 

 

++++

 

 

The next morning, Kageyama is in the bakery’s kitchen mixing dough for matcha cookies when Yachi comes in and greets him.

“Good morning, Kageyama-kun! How did it go with Hinata’s family?”

“Good. They were happy to have Hinata back. He and Suki are staying there for a week.”

“Oh, goodness, that’s great news! I bet he’s so happy and relieved.”

“Yes, he is,” Kageyama agrees without emotion.

Yachi pauses, and Kageyama looks up to see her studying him.

“What?”

“You don’t seem as happy for him as I expected.”

Kageyama shrugs and goes back to mixing his dough. “I am happy for him.”

Another pause, and this time Kageyama doesn’t dare to look up from his work.

“Did something else happen?”

“No.”

“Kageyama, I can tell something is wrong. Do you want to talk about it? Oh, god, did you tell him how you feel? Did he reject you?”

“What? No, I didn’t tell him. There was too much going on.”

“Phew,” Yachi says, letting out a breath. “You had me scared for a minute.”

“Me? I didn’t do anything.”

“So,” Yachi says, her voice sharper. Kageyama looks up to find her standing with her arms crossed. She looks scary for some reason, all four-foot-ten of her. “What’s bothering you?”

Kageyama feels helpless to resist stern Yachi. “I just…” he looks back at the dough, but his hands won’t move. “What if he wants to stay there? Like, forever?”

“Kageyama.” Yachi’s voice is gentle. “That won’t happen.”

His eyes snap to hers. “How do you know that?”

“I don’t, for sure. But I’m almost certain he won’t leave you. I don’t think he could, any more than you could leave him.”

Kageyama feels his throat constrict again. “Why do you say that?”

Yachi sighs a long, drawn-out, harassed sigh. “Kageyama, he loves you back. I’m sure of it.”

Kageyama chokes back a sob as he takes in Yachi’s words. They support what he suspected, but…

In a tortured whisper he manages to say, “What if it’s not enough?”

Yachi presses her lips together and doesn’t answer the question. Instead she asks, “When is he supposed to come back?”

“Next week,” he rasps out.

“Try to hang in there. I’m sure you’ll see next week that it will all be fine.”

Kageyama nods, unable to say anymore.

 

 

++++

 

 

Thursday night, Miwa slides into a booth across from Kageyama at their favorite ramen place. She’s been hovering and fussing over him ever since Yachi told her Kageyama was worried about Hinata staying in Miyagi. This afternoon, she called and insisted they meet tonight for dinner, and Kageyama didn’t have the energy to argue with her.

She greets him with a smile. “Hey, little brother.”

“Hey.”

Miwa sets her purse next to her, then turns to study him. “You look pitiful.”

“Gee, thanks, o-nee-chan.”

She shrugs off his comment and picks up the menu. They sit silently for a moment, then the server comes to take their order. When their menus are collected, Miwa puts her elbows on the table and leans toward her brother.

“Okay, spill it, Tobio.”

“What?”

“Talk to me.”

“Yachi already told you, so I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

“I want to hear it from you.”

Kageyama fiddles with his napkin, avoiding her gaze. “You are relentless sometimes. What if I don’t want to talk about it?”

“No choice.”

Kageyama meets her gaze, annoyed but also touched. She’s concerned about him, he knows. He also knows that ever since they were young, talking things out with her always helps. It allows him to identify and process his feelings.

He sighs heavily. “I’m worried Hinata will want to stay in Miyagi with his family. Like, forever.”

Miwa leans back, more relaxed now. “Why do you think that?”

Kageyama hesitates a little, gathering his thoughts, then tells her everything he’s been thinking, how Hinata will have support, all of his family, so much love and care for Suki, a big yard with a swing set, a comfortable home, on and on. He talks for several minutes, listing all of the reasons he can think of why Hinata would choose to stay in his hometown rather than return to Tokyo.

To him.

By the time Kageyama runs out of steam, their ramen has been served and they eat for a moment without speaking.”

“So, is that all?”

Kageyama shrugs. “I guess so.”

“And have you thought about his reasons for coming back?”

Kageyama considers this question, something he’s not thought about. “I guess there’s the bakery, which I know he loves. And Yachi and Mrs. Eguchi. And even Suga and Kiyoko, who he’s made friends with.”

“And you.”

Kageyama shrugs again. “I guess.”

“You don’t believe that’s enough reason to come back? You don’t think he’d come back for you?”

“I don’t know.”

Miwa studies him for several seconds. “You never told him how you feel?”

Kageyama shakes his head.

“How do you think he feels about you?”

“During his heat, I thought he… it seemed like he cared for me. There was something there, something I could feel.”

“But he’s never said anything to you either?”

“No.”

“And whatever this unspoken thing is between you, you don’t think it’s enough for him to give up everything in Miyagi.”

“Yes. That’s about it.”

Miwa takes a drink of water, thinking. “What does your gut tell you, Tobio? Not logic, not pessimism, just your gut. Is this thing between the two of you strong? Lasting?”

Kageyama considers for several minutes, still fiddling with his napkin. “It is on my side. I can’t even imagine myself with anyone else. But I just don’t know about him.”

Miwa folds her hands on top of the table, then pins Kageyama with a serious gaze. “Do you want to know what I think?”

Kageyama nods, and Miwa continues, “I think he loves you back. I think he’s going to come back to you. I also think you need to stop putting it off and just tell him. Tell him how you feel, how much you love Suki, how you can’t imagine yourself with anyone else but him.”

“And what if he rejects me?” Kageyama asks as pain squeezes his heart at just the thought.

“I don’t think he will. I’ve watched you two for a year now, and I fully believe it’s mutual. But if he does, well, at least you’ve taken your shot. At least you’ve been honest with him and yourself. At least you’ve loved both of them the best you know how, and you’ll have no regrets.”

Kageyama stares at his hands in his lap as his sister’s words seep into his consciousness. “You’re right, I guess. And if that’s what he chooses, then I’ll live with it. At least I know he’ll be happy, that Suki will be loved and cared for.”

Miwa reaches a hand over the table, palm up. “I really think it will be okay, Tobio. But if it’s not, I’ll always be there for you.”

Kageyama reaches over and latches his hand onto hers. “I know. Thanks, sis.”

 

 

++++

 

 

The next night, after three days of silence and boringness and emptiness, he hears Hinata’s voice over the phone.

“So listen, I want to talk to you about something when you come back to Miyagi on Monday.”

“What is it?” Kageyama asks, his chest suddenly squeezing uncomfortably.

“Not over the phone. I want to do it in person.”

Kageyama hesitates slightly, his fears jacking up several notches. “Okay. I guess.”

“Okay, then. I’ll see you in a few days. Goodnight, ‘Yama.”

“Night, Hinata.”

Kageyama disconnects the call and tosses the phone on the sofa next to him. This is it. Hinata is going to tell him he’s staying in Miyagi. Kageyama can feel the truth settle over him like a heavy, dark blanket.

He leans his head against the back of the sofa, closing his eyes and willing back the tears. He feels Mikeneko jump onto his lap and purr softly. He pets her soft fur absently and wonders if she will be his only company from now on.

 

 

++++

 

 

Sunday after work, Kageyama again comes home to a quiet apartment. He turns the television on to a random show just to have some noise fill the void. The cat sticks close to him as if she can sense his mood. He feeds her and makes himself a sandwich. He hasn’t cooked a proper meal since Hinata and Suki have been gone.

Tomorrow, he’ll drive back to Miyagi. Hinata wants to talk to him about something. If he tells him he’s staying with his family, Kageyama vows to tell him how he feels, to see if that will change Hinata’s mind. He has to at least try.

After dinner, he’s drawn again to Suki’s nursery. He stands in the room that holds so much of his past and his present.

And he hopes his future as well.

Before Suki was born, he had no clue how intensely a person could love, how overwhelming and all-encompassing love for a child could be, how much a person would be willing to sacrifice for their child. But now that he knew, it had changed him.

Love had changed him.

Kageyama runs his hand along the top of the bureau and straightens the stuffed animals again, even though they’re perfectly arranged. On a whim, he opens the top drawer to see some of Suki’s clothes, thinking it will somehow make him feel closer to her.

But the drawer is empty.

Frowning, he considers why Hinata needed to take all of the onesies with him, as there were many more than Suki would need for a week. A sinking feeling washes over him, and his blood feels like ice in his veins. He closes the drawer and pauses for a second to gather his courage, then opens the second drawer. There are three shirts in the drawer and nothing else. Kageyama’s pulse quickens and his stomach clenches. He leans down and opens the third drawer. Two pairs of pants, one pink, one purple.

And nothing else.

Suddenly it’s hard to breathe. Kageyama tries to suck oxygen into his lungs as his mind swirls. Hinata took almost all of Suki’s clothes with him. Why? Why would he do that if he only planned to stay a few days or a week?

Kageyama closes the drawer in slow motion and stands. He feels dizzy. Was Hinata planning this all along? To stay with his family if they took him back? Why else are all Suki’s clothes gone? Did Hinata take all of his own clothes as well?

Kageyama is compelled to enter Hinata’s room. He knows it’s an invasion of privacy, but he can’t help it. He has to know, has to prepare himself for what’s to come.

He opens the top drawer of Hinata’s dresser. There are two pairs of underwear and three pairs of socks. Most everything else is gone, even Hinata’s cupcake boxer shorts, which Kageyama knows are his favorite. As his alarm increases, he closes it and opens the second drawer. Two shirts. An old gray t-shirt with holes that Hinata wears when he cleans, and a black t-shirt that Kageyama has never seen him wear.

Kageyama’s mind is nearly blank now as reality settles in. The next drawer will also be empty. Hinata took all of his and Suki’s clothes to Miyagi. He was planning to stay all along.

Kageyama takes a deep breath and realizes how much his chest hurts. There’s an ache in his heart, a feeling of despair, of despondence. He wants to open the last drawer, but he can’t seem to do it right away. It feels like once he does, he won’t be able to deny what’s staring him in the face anymore.

Still, he only pauses ten, maybe twenty seconds, then leans down to open the third drawer. It has no clothes at all in there, only a stack of papers in the corner.

Even though he expected it, Kageyama gasps. He knew he would find the drawer empty, but part of him still doesn’t believe it. He stares at the bottom of the drawer for several seconds, unable to look away. His heart thumps and blood swishes in his ears.

Hinata isn’t coming back.

He stares for several more seconds as the words echo over and over in his head. Hinata isn’t coming back. Hinata isn’t coming back.

He’s frozen, unable to move, to act, to do anything except experience this devastation.

Then his eyes skim over the papers in the stack. And for a second, he thinks he sees his name. Confused, he leans closer and picks up the second sheet of paper, only partially covered by the top sheet, which looks like Hinata’s discharge papers from the hospital when Suki was born.

His heart stops for several seconds. What is he looking at?

It can’t be true. It doesn’t make any sense. He stares at it for a long time, his mind reeling.

His hands are trembling when he digs his phone from his pocket and calls Miwa.

“Hey, Tobio, what’s up?”

“Miwa,” he chokes out. “I need you to come over. Now.”

“Tobio, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Yes, I just, I really need you to come over. Now. Please, o-nee-chan.”

“I’m on my way.”

 

 

++++

 

 

Fifteen minutes later, Miwa uses her emergency key to enter the apartment and makes her way to Hinata’s room where Kageyama sits on the side of the bed.

Her voice is gentle, “Tobio? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Kageyama tries to answer but no words can escape his constricted throat.

Miwa squats in front of him, and he meets her eyes, twins of his own. “Hey, you’re scaring me, baby brother. What’s going on?”

Kageyama hands her the sheet of paper and numbly watches as she reads it. Her eyes flick up and down the page several times as if to confirm what she’s reading.

“What the fuck. You didn’t know this?”

Kageyama shakes his head.

“I don’t understand,” Miwa says. “You said Suki wasn’t yours. That you didn’t even know him when he got pregnant. Why would he list you as the father on the birth certificate?”

“I don’t know,” Kageyama rasps out.

“He must have had a reason.”

“If he did, he never told me.”

“Did you ask him about it?”

Kageyama shakes his head. “No. I called you first.”

Miwa stands, places the birth certificate on Hinata’s dresser, then offers Kageyama a hand, “Okay, let’s think about this. Come on, let’s get a drink. Do you have any alcohol?”

Kageyama stands, but his legs feel like lead weights. “Just beer.”

“Go into the living room. I’ll bring one to you.”

Kageyama plops onto the sofa as Mikeneko slinks around him, purring softly as if offering support. When Miwa hands him an open beer bottle, he takes a large chug, then rests the bottle in his lap. She sits next to him and takes a drink as well.

“Okay, so you didn’t know. He must have had a reason, so just ask him.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?” Kageyama asks quietly.

“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask him.”

“He lied. He lied to me. He’s been lying to me,” Kageyama says, his voice growing louder with each sentence.

“You need to call him, talk to him about it.”

“I don’t want to talk to him right now. I’m so fucking pissed right now.”

“Tobio, I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for…”

Kageyama slams the bottle down on the coffee table so hard that Miwa jumps.

“He’s been lying for almost five months. He’s purposefully kept this from me and for what? What reason could he possibly have to betray me like this?” Kageyama yells, breathing hard.

“Tobio, please try to calm down.”

“I don’t want to calm down. I want to scream. I want to drive to Miyagi right now and yell at Hinata. I can’t believe he would do this to me. Why would he do this to me? Why would he lie about something so important?”

“Tobio,” Miwa says in a gentle voice, “Maybe this is a good thing.”

“What? That he fucking lied to me?”

“No, not that part. But you have told me before you wished Suki was your pup.”

“Yeah, but not like this. Not when Hinata did this without my consent, without my knowledge. Not like this. Jesus fucking Christ, I even thought he might love me back. I’m so fucking stupid.”

“You’re not stupid!”

“He must have had a good laugh at my expense. What, I guess I’m financially responsible for her? Is that what he wanted? To trap me?”

“Tobio! Stop! Listen to yourself. Hinata would never do that!”

“I don’t know what he would or wouldn’t do anymore, Miwa. Maybe I don’t know him like I thought I did.”

“Tobio, maybe he wanted you to be her father just like you wanted.”

Kageyama shakes his head, so hard it rattles his teeth. “That’s no reason to lie to me!”

Miwa opens her mouth but shuts it again. “Just call him, Tobio. Ask him to explain.”

“If I talk to him right now, I’m going to say something I regret.”

Miwa pauses for several seconds, then asks, “You’re driving to Miyagi in the morning, right?”

Kageyama nods, feeling bile slosh around in his stomach. He had planned to make the four-hour drive and confess his love while praying that Hinata felt the same. But now, he can’t even think about that.

How can he think about a future with someone who lied to him?

“Well, just talk to him then. I’m sure he’s got a reasonable explanation.”

Kageyama looks up and feels himself sneer. “There’s nothing he could tell me that would excuse this.”

“Tobio, give him a chance to explain. If you love him, then at least give him that courtesy.”

“I will, but it won’t change anything. It won’t change how hurt and betrayed I feel.”

Miwa sets her hand on top of his and squeezes lightly. “Try to hold off judgment until you know the whole story, please.”

“I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything.”

“Fair enough.”

Miwa stays for another two hours until Kageyama seems less angry. He swears and grumbles some more in that hour but feels like he’s mostly gotten it out of his system by the time she offers to stay the night. He declines, saying he’s fine, and she reluctantly leaves after making him promise to call or text if he wants to talk.

Kageyama shuts the door behind Miwa and locks it. He heads to his bedroom and strips down to his boxer briefs. He sets an alarm for the morning and flicks off the light, but he’s so agitated that sleep doesn’t come for a long time.

He runs through possible scenarios that might happen when he gets to Miyagi. What Hinata might possibly say. He wonders if he even wants to confess anymore. If Hinata wants to stay with his family, then Kageyama can come back here to Tokyo and go on with his life.

And if Hinata somehow tries to get money from him, to pay child support for Suki, all Kageyama has to do is demand a paternity test. He’s not going to be stuck paying money for eighteen years for some other alpha’s kid.

While part of him feels satisfaction with that line of thinking, another part feels a sinking sense of loss. Suki doesn’t feel like another alpha’s kid.

She feels like his.

Fucking hell, why did Hinata have to do this? Make him fall in love with his kid and then betray him like this?

In what fucking universe is this fair?

Kageyama stifles a sob. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough. If Hinata is going to tear his heart out, Kageyama would just as soon get it over with.

 

 

++++

 

Kageyama pulls up to Hinata’s childhood home and parks the car. He sits motionless, hands still clasped on the wheel, staring into nothingness.

He’s not sure he can do this.

Since last night, his stomach has been in knots and his head has been pounding, and he’s driven more hours today than he slept last night. Still, he knows he has to do this. To get it over with, like ripping off a Band-Aid.

If Hinata doesn’t give him a good reason for lying, or if he wants to stay here with his family, Kageyama will turn right around and drive back to Tokyo.

The minutes tick on, he’s not sure how many. Then he sees Hinata open the door, smile and wave at him. Somehow, he rejoices at the welcome sight while anger simultaneously bubbles up again. He can’t stay in the car anymore, he supposes, so he pushes down the emotions as best he can, then gets out and approaches the house.

Hinata’s smile is wide and bright, and Kageyama remembers how it used to light up his whole day. The sight right now, with the turmoil he’s experiencing, with what he knows, now just makes him feel nauseated.

“Kageyama! I’m glad you’re here. We’ve missed you.”

Hinata hugs him loosely, still smiling, then backs off. “Come on in. Suki missed you too.”

Kageyama doesn’t argue, because how can Hinata know a four-month-old baby missed him, but he follows Hinata into the house and removes his shoes in the genkan. He trails behind Hinata to the kitchen, who is chatting about their dinner last night at his grandmother’s house.

Kageyama is barely listening because holding himself together is taking more effort than he expected. When his eyes land on Suki in Mrs. Hinata’s lap, his heart constricts. Her chubby cheeks bunch up as she smiles at him and reaches out her chubby arms.

He feels a great relief when he’s got her in his arms again, her head resting on his shoulder. He whispers softly to her. “Hello, Suki-chan. Did you miss me? Have you been having fun here with your family? I’m glad to see you.”

He gently rubs his hand on her back and rests his head on hers. He sighs, feeling more stable, more centered now.

When he looks up, both Hinata and his mother watch him with twin smiles. He suddenly feels self-conscious. He clears his throat, “Has she been okay? Is she adjusting okay to the new surroundings?”

“Yes, she’s been fine,” Hinata replies.

“Good,” Kageyama says, relieved. He sits down at one of the kitchen chairs and balances Suki on his knees, facing him. She smiles and makes baby noises at him, and he can’t help but smile back. It seems like she’s grown in a week, which he knows is silly, but she looks bigger, her hair slightly longer. He takes in the details he’s missed, as if memorizing her features.

“Kageyama,” Hinata says, breaking him out of his little pocket of joy, “My mom is going to take Suki for a walk so we can talk.”

Kageyama’s heart plummets to his gut, and the happiness floats away. “Of course,” he says, though he doesn’t feel that way at all. Kageyama reluctantly lets go when Mrs. Hinata takes Suki from him.

Mrs. Hinata waves to them and calls as she exits the front door, baby in hand. “We’ll be gone, what, maybe thirty minutes?”

She seems to be asking Hinata the question, and he replies, “Yes, or a little longer maybe.”

“Okay, then. We’ll just go to the park, won’t we Suki-chan?” A moment later the front door closes, and Hinata faces Kageyama.

“Would you like something to drink?”

Kageyama has to clear his throat, which is suddenly dry. “Yes, some water, please.”

Hinata fills two glasses of water and returns to the table, placing one in front of Kageyama. He sits in the chair adjacent to Kageyama’s and places his own glass in front of him. They both take small sips to fill the awkward silence. Kageyama feels his stomach clench.

“How has your week been?” Hinata asks conversationally.

“Fine,” Kageyama lies.

Hinata cocks his head and narrows his eyes. When Kageyama glances away, Hinata says, “It’s been really nice to be here with my family again after so long. I’m so grateful that you encouraged me to come, that you supported me and drove me here. So thank you for that.”

“It was nothing,” Kageyama answers looking up. “It was the right thing to do.”

“Still,” Hinata says, staring into Kageyama’s face. Kageyama drops his gaze to the glass in his hands.

“How was business this week?” Hinata asks, and for some reason, the benign, meaningless questions snap Kageyama’s patience.

“Look, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend like everything between us is fine.” Kageyama tries to keep the edge from his voice but fails. “I found Suki’s birth certificate. Why didn’t you tell me? You lied to me, Hinata. I thought we were friends, but you lied to me. For four months!”

The color drains from Hinata’s face so fast it would be comical in any other circumstance. He sputters, “I didn’t lie…”

Kageyama spits back, “A lie of omission is still a lie.”

Hinata presses his lips together into a straight line. He seems to be gathering his thoughts, or maybe trying to keep himself together, Kageyama can’t tell.

Finally Hinata speaks, “Kageyama, I’m sorry. I should have said something, should have told you or asked your permission. But I panicked, okay? I was there in the hospital, and it just hit me hard that I was alone, that I was all that Suki had. I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen to her if something happened to me, if I… died or something. I didn’t have any contact with my family, so I didn’t know if they’d take her. And I couldn't put Sunada’s name down, because what if his family wanted to take her? I don’t know anything about them, and if Sunada was the way he was, who knows what they’re like? I just…” Hinata looks to him, his eyes wet and pleading, “I just couldn’t take the chance that they’d get her. I needed to know if something happened to me that she’d be safe, taken care of, loved. And I knew you’d do it. I watched you with her, from the start I knew you’d take care of her, keep her safe and happy, love her. I wanted to ask you, but I was too afraid. I thought about making you her guardian, but it seemed like it would take too long, and I’d need a lawyer and stuff, and I just felt this urgent need to have this done. For her, Kageyama. From the moment she was born, I knew I’d do anything to protect her, and I just… I know it doesn’t make sense, but I needed to do this for her. I truly thought it was best for her, and I know you can understand that. It was all for Suki, ‘Yama. Please believe me. I never meant to hurt you, and I never meant to lie. I should have told you. I’m so sorry. I should have told you. I was going to tell you, I swear, I just wanted it to be the right time and…”

By the time Hinata’s words trail off, his face is streaked with tear tracks and his voice is scratchy. As Kageyama takes in Hinata’s words, listens to his explanation, his chest squeezes uncomfortably and tears pool in his eyes, threatening to spill over. Hinata trusted him with his child, wanted him to take care of Suki if anything happened to him. It’s too much. Too much emotion, too much feeling, too much everything.

Kageyama shakes his head slowly, and a tear escapes and slips down his cheek. “I’m flattered, Hinata. Really. Thank you for trusting me. But, still, you had more than four months to tell me. When were you going to do it?”

Hinata pins him with a soulful look, and whispers, “When I was sure you loved me back.”

Hinata’s words are so quiet that Kageyama barely hears them, and he questions what he thinks he’s heard. “What? What did you say?”

Hinata’s face is pleading again, his eyes wide. “I love you, Kageyama.”

It takes Kageyama’s brain several seconds to process the words. Words he’s coveted and yearned for. It doesn’t seem real.

“I don’t understand…”

Hinata laughs softly and takes Kageyama’s hand into his own. “You’re such an idiot. I said, I love you. I should have told you a long time ago.”

“You never said anything…”

“I was afraid you didn’t love me back.”

“How long?” Kageyama suddenly needs to know this, to know how long they’ve been dancing around each other.

“Since last year, before your birthday. I wanted to tell you, and there were so many times I almost did, but I was a coward because I didn't think you liked me that way. You never made a move to court me or anything. But you were always there for me, always took care of me, of Suki too. And we have fun together, we work well together, and we just fit, you know. Like, everything is just easy with you. And, Tobio, you make me happy, like really happy. So that’s why I love you. And I had to tell you now because I can't go on like this. I can’t go on being so close to you, but not having all of you. I want to be with you. I want to be with you in every way. I want you to be Suki's father in every way too, because you have been there to raise her and love her from day one. I know she's not yours and alphas don't usually like to raise other alphas' kids but…”

“I don't care about that,” Kageyama grumbles.

Hinata smiles softly and squeezes Kageyama’s hand. Kageyama stares at their entwined hands and rehashes the words that Hinata has spoken, trying to make sense of them, as if they’re some foreign language that he must be misunderstanding.

“I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure what you felt.”

“Tobio, I invited you to my bed. Didn't that make you wonder?”

“Yes, I did wonder a little, but…”

Hinata continues, “After you said you wanted your first time to be with someone special, someone you loved, I wondered why you agreed to be my heat partner, but I admit I was selfish. I desperately wanted you to touch me like that and I wanted to touch you so badly. I wanted to kiss you and taste you and feel every inch of you. I wanted you inside me. So,” Hinata says, taking a breath, “I understand if you don't feel the same about me. I just had to tell you because I can't go on like this. I need to have all of you, Tobio. I want it all. I want dates and holding hands and sex. I know I'm being selfish again, throwing all this at you, but…”

“I do,” Kageyama finally manages to say. He licks his lips, feeling his mouth dry up.

Hinata’s eyebrows draw together in confusion. “What?”

“I do feel the same way,” Kageyama repeats, meeting Hinata’s surprised gaze. Kageyama fights off the tears and forces the words out from his parched throat. “I’ve loved you since the first time I set eyes on you, even before you came to work for me.”

“What?”

“I know it sounds stupid,” Kageyama admits as he feels his cheeks warm with embarrassment.

“Tobio, it's not stupid at all,” Hinata insists. He now looks more curious than surprised. “Why didn’t you say anything?” he asks softly.

Kageyama can’t meet Hinata’s eyes when he answers. “I was worried if you didn’t feel the same way about me, you’d think you’d need to move or get another job. I didn’t want it to be awkward, and I didn’t want to put you in a bad position. Not until you were in a good place where you had the means to leave if you wanted to.”

One side of Hinata’s mouth curves up into a half-smile. “That’s actually very sweet. And very typical of you.”

Kageyama shrugs.

Hinata continues, “But what about the night before my heat when you said you wanted your first time…”

Kageyama squeezes his hand and feels a laugh bubble up. “You’re such a dumbass. I was going to confess to you then, but you left before I could speak. I agreed to be your heat partner because my first time was with someone special. It was with you.”

“Oh,” Hinata says, eyes wide. “Oh.”

“Shoyo,” Kageyama begins, taking Hinata’s hand in both of his. He needs Hinata to understand this, needs him to know how serious he is, so he makes sure his voice is strong and steady. “You and Suki, you're all I ever wanted. If you want me too, that will make me the happiest man on earth.”

“Really?” Hinata says as his lip wobbles and wetness gathers in his eyes.

“Yes, really.”

Kageyama leans over and places the softest, most tender kiss onto Hinata’s lips. He pulls back slightly, then cups Hinata’s face with his large hand. He uses his thumb to wipe away the wayward tear that meanders down Hinata’s cheek.

Hinata hiccups, then blurts out, “I can’t believe this is real.”

“Me either.”

“Are you still mad about the birth certificate?”

Kageyama considers the question. “A little, I guess, but I understand your reasons. But Shoyo, if we’re going to be together, we need to be able to trust each other. I promise you I’ll never lie to you. Can you promise me?”

“I promise, Tobio,” Hinata says, crying some more. “I promise. I’m so sorry.” Hinata clasps both hands around Kageyama’s wrist and nestles his face into Kageyama’s palm. “But…”

Kageyama’s heart skips a beat and he leans back to study Hinata’s face. Hinata is sporting that shit-eating grin. “But what?”

“What if I’m planning a surprise birthday party for you? Then I might have to lie a little.”

Kageyama chuckles. “That doesn’t count, dumbass.”

“Or what if you guess a Christmas present that I’ve gotten you, and I don’t want to ruin the surprise?”

“That doesn’t count either.”

“And what if I burn a cheesecake and just toss it in the trash before you get to work and don’t tell you? Does that count?”

“I can smell when you burn a cheesecake, so you can’t hide it from me.”

Hinata is grinning fully now. “What if we’re, you know, playing in the bedroom and I say, ‘No, I don’t want it’ but I really do?”

Kageyama can feel his cheeks burn red. “Dumbass. Obviously, that doesn’t count either.”

Hinata smiles his bright, wide smile, and Kageyama’s heart flip-flops. But then he remembers how Hinata wanted to talk to him about something.

Kageyama leans back, wary. “But what about your family?”

“Huh? What about them?”

“Don’t you want to stay here in Miyagi with them? Isn’t that why you packed all your clothes?”

Hinata’s brows draw together, and his bottom lip sticks out. “What? No. I was late and couldn’t concentrate enough to decide what to pack. So I just grabbed a bunch of stuff and shoved it in my suitcase.”

Kageyama lets out a breath of relief. “Oh. But then, what did you want to tell me?”

Hinata looks sheepish. “I wanted to tell you how I feel. How I just want to be with you and our child.”

Kageyama freezes. “Our child?”

“Yes, Tobio. Our child. Suki. Remember her?”

“Shut up, dumbass,” Kageyama gripes, but his heart feels like it might explode. “So, you want to come back home? With me? To our place?”

“Yes, I want to come back to our place. That's our home, mine and Suki's. Our home is with you, Tobio.”

A sob rises in Kageyama’s throat and he’s only partially able to smother it, so a small sound comes out. Hinata kisses Kageyama’s palm and draws his hand from his face. He holds Kageyama’s hand gently in both of his.

“Our home is with you in Tokyo, where you and I can bake together and bicker and watch baking shows and take care of our daughter and you can rub my feet.”

“I only rubbed your feet because you were pregnant, dumbass,” Kageyama gripes.

“Well, I guess I'll just have to get pregnant again, then, because I really want my feet rubbed.”

Kageyama is surprised again and wonders how many of these revelations his heart can take today. “For real, Sho? You'd want that? With me?”

“Of course I’d want that with you. Maybe two or three more pups ought to do it.”

Kageyama feels a laugh bubble up. “We’re going to need a bigger house!” He pauses, then squeezes Hinata’s hand. “Shoyo, it's too much. You and me and Suki, as a family, it’s more than I could ever hope for.”

“It shouldn't be, Tobio. You deserve everything good in life. You are the kindest, most caring, most loving alpha I’ve ever met. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. When I think about where Suki and I would be now if I’d never walked into your bakery that day, well… Anyway, I’m so happy I found you. And I’m so happy you love me back. It’s more than I could have ever hoped for as well.”

“Nah, loving you is as easy as breathing.”

Hinata cries and laughs at the same time. “Same to you. Now, let’s get our daughter and go home.”

 

///

Notes:

I admit the plot point about Kageyama not knowing he was on the birth certificate is unrealistic because the father has to sign the birth certificate, at least here in the U.S.

Also, I’m not sure when I’ll update again. Since I’ve got some time off from work, I’m going to work hard on revisions to Mine To Protect. I won’t take too long of a break though, and I absolutely will finish this story, I promise!

Chapter 24: Homecoming II

Summary:

The couple returns home to their apartment in Tokyo and begins their life together. There is sex involved.

 

Hinata's mother enters the genkan a while later, closing the door loudly and yelling, "We're home." Hinata throws Kageyama a bemused look, and they remain sitting at the table, hands clasped tightly as if letting go might cause the last hour to evaporate into a dream.

Mrs. Hinata enters the kitchen carrying Suki, who immediately reaches out her arms to Kageyama. Hinata's heart melts.

As Kageyama takes Suki and starts talking to her, Hinata's mother asks hopefully, "Is everything okay?"

Hinata's smile is wide and genuine. "Everything is great, Mom." He takes her hand and squeezes it tightly, and her eyes light up. "We're heading back to Tokyo later today."

Mrs. Hinata's smile dims slightly, but she nods, casting a look at her granddaughter in Kageyama's arms. "That's great, Shoyo. I'm happy for you."

After lunch, Hinata leaves Suki snoozing on Kageyama's shoulder as he and his mother head to his room to pack his and Suki's things. When they are alone, she asks, "So, it went well? He feels the same?"

Hinata feels like his smile might split his face open. "Yeah. He does. Miraculously."

"I told you, Shoyo. I'm always right."

Hinata laughs as he tucks clothes into the suitcase. "Yeah, I admit it. You are. But there's something else I should probably tell you."

Mrs. Hinata cocks her head to the side and draws her eyebrows together. "What?"

Hinata sits on the bed and taps a space by his side indicating she should sit next to him. "I sort of did something without telling Kageyama, and he found out and was upset that I hid things from him."

"What did you do, Shoyo?" his mother asks, wary.

"I sort of put him on Suki's birth certificate as the father."

Mrs. Hinata's mouth drops open. "But I thought Sunada was Suki's father."

"He is. Was. But you have to understand, Mom. When she was born, I was all alone except for Kageyama. And all I could think about was who would take care of her if something happened to me. And I just knew Kageyama was the one I trusted her with."

"I guess I understand that. That says quite a bit that you believed in him that much. He didn't take it well?"

"He was upset that I lied to him, but we worked it out. We're together, Mom. I think… no, I know I want to mate with him. Eventually. He's the one I want."

Mrs. Hinata smiles and grips Hinata's hand. "I'm so happy you found him, son. He's good to you and Suki, and I think you are going to be really happy. And," she continues grinning a little evilly, "I expect lots of grandkids."

Hinata chuckles. "I promise I will start on that task as soon as possible."

They finish packing and wait for Natsu to get home from school and Mr. Hinata to arrive home from work. Hinata says his goodbyes to his family, hugging them tightly, and promising to facetime often and visit regularly. There are tears now from Mrs. Hinata, but happy ones mixed in with the sad ones.

Before they pull out, Kageyama picks up his phone. "I'm just going to give Miwa a quick update. She'll be mad if I wait until we get back to Tokyo." He taps out a quick message, then puts down the phone and puts the car in gear.

On the road, Kageyama's phone dings and Hinata picks it up to read Miwa's text to Kageyama. Hinata laughs as he reads, "She says, 'I told you, you big idiot. I'm going to hold this over your head for the next fifty years.'"

Kageyama scowls. "She's going to be unbearable."

"What exactly did she tell you?" Hinata asks, setting the phone on the center console and turning his body to face Kageyama.

Kageyama's cheeks pinken, and he throws a quick glance at Hinata. He clears his throat, "She's been telling me for a while that you liked me back."

"Really?" Hinata drawls, very interested in hearing this information. "For how long?"

"I don't know. Maybe six months? Seven?"

Hinata carefully considers his interactions with Miwa. He wondered if she suspected his feelings for Kageyama, but he hadn't been at all sure she would say something to her brother about it. "You didn't believe her?"

Kageyama stares at the road ahead of him and fidgets uncomfortably. "I just didn't know."

Hinata sighs. "Just think. If you had listened to Miwa-san, we could have been together months ago."

"You could have said something too, dumbass," Kageyama says defensively.

Hinata smiles softly. "Yeah. I could have," he admitted. "I guess we're both dumbasses."

Hinata reaches over to grab Kageyama's hand. Kageyama sends him a reluctant smile, still apparently salty over Miwa's message, but Hinata recognizes that he's happy as well.

"Gwah! I'm so happy, Tobio. I can't wait to get home with you and Suki. It's going to be great."

"It won't be that much different than it was before."

"Except I get to kiss you whenever I want."

Kageyama's face reddens again, and Hinata loves this new power he has over his, well, boyfriend. He decides he's going to do this a lot just to see Kageyama's shy, embarrassed, cute face.

When they arrive back home, they unpack, have dinner and go through Suki's nightly routine. It's painfully normal, except for the smiles and blushes they share whenever they're close to each other.

Hinata feels giddy, bubbly.

Happy.

Before they put Suki to bed, Kageyama sits on the sofa and tucks her into his lap with a book. He reads the words and talks to her sweetly, pointing to pictures and saying words like "dog" and "cow." She looks at him with her big, amber eyes and coos, grinning a toothless grin when he makes animal noises.

Kageyama looks so comfortable and content. His face is relaxed and so beautiful that Hinata feels compelled to record it. He pulls out his phone and snaps a few pictures. One of them captures the moment perfectly and Hinata feels his heart squeeze at the image of his daughter and his alpha.

He feels his throat constrict as he realizes how freaking lucky he really is.

Once they settle Suki down in her crib for the night, Kageyama plops into his usual spot on the sofa and picks up the remote. He starts to say something, but Hinata has been waiting all day to get him alone, and he's not going to waste it watching TV.

Hinata boldly walks to Kageyama and straddles him. Kageyama gasps softly, but his hands automatically come to rest on Hinata's waist. Hinata rests his hands on Kageyama's shoulders, and he says simply, "Hi."

"Hi," Kageyama returns, sounding a little breathless.

"You have no idea how many times I've wanted to do this."

"Yeah? How many?" Kageyama asks teasingly.

"At least a hundred."

Kageyama's eyes dance a bit. "I might have thought about it a couple of times myself."

"So, about that thing I said about kissing you whenever I want… what if I wanted to now?"

Kageyama licks his lips. "I'd say go for it."

Hinata feels something like joy well up in his chest and he leans forward and fits their lips together. Kageyama's lips are soft and feel right on his. He threads his fingers into the silky, black strands and both hears and feels Kageyama draw in a soft breath.

Hinata's heart races, and his dick takes notice. He deepens the kiss and is pleased when Kageyama's hands pull him closer. They explore each other's mouths for a while, teasing, then Hinata pulls away to breathe. He moves his mouth along Kageyama's jaw and down his neck, lingering over the tender flesh of his scent glands. Kageyama's scent is strong here, pure, and so fucking intoxicating that Hinata's dick twitches again.

Kageyama smells like home.

He can't believe he gets to do this now.

"God, you smell amazing, 'Yama."

"Mmm," Kageyama hums as he buries his face in Hinata's neck as well. "You too, Sho. So fucking sweet."

Hinata licks over the skin some more, moaning softly when Kageyama's hands skim under his shirt and up the bare skin of sides. He experiments with grinding his cock against Kageyama's and is rewarded with a growl and a reciprocal thrust.

Fucking hell.

Hinata moves his mouth back to Kageyama's and devours him this time, thrilled and aroused when Kageyama gives it back to him in kind. Hinata's desire is ratcheting up quickly, and he knows what he wants.

"Tobio," he says breaking his mouth away. "Can I… "

Hinata has to stare for a moment as he takes in Kageyama's face. His deep blue eyes are hazy, and his cheeks are flushed. His lips are red and wet. Hinata has to kiss them again.

He dives in for one more firm kiss, then looks into Kageyama's eyes again. "Can I suck you off?"

The noise Kageyama makes sounds a bit like choking, but he nods and Hinata moves quickly. He slides down to the floor between Kageyama's legs and pulls down his sweatpants and boxer briefs enough to expose his already hard cock.

Fuck, Kageyama is thick and long and already leaking. Hinata licks his lips and chances a peek up at Kageyama's beautiful face. He's blushing again, or still, and Hinata thinks it's the cutest fucking thing he's ever seen. Kageyama's hands are fisted at his sides, and he looks about as close to busting as Hinata feels. His eyes are glued to Hinata, and Hinata can't help but smirk before dipping his head down.

He licks a long, wet strip along the underside of Kageyama's cock, and Kageyama gasps softly. Equal parts emboldened and hungry, Hinata angles Kageyama's length between his lips and sucks on the tip.

A moan this time, half stifled.

He swirls his tongue, then goes down as far as he can until the tip hits the back of his throat. He closes his eyes to enjoy the taste and sensation, then starts moving up and down, using his fist to stimulate what he can't reach.

Within a couple of minutes, Kageyama is a mess. He's gone from stoic, quiet noises to babbling. "Jesus, fuck, Sho. Oh my god. Your mouth feels so amazing. You're gonna make me pop a knot."

Hinata hums and opens his eyes to lock on Kageyama's. When their eyes meet, Kageyama curses. "Sho," he says as he laces his fingers through Hinata's ginger locks, "You're gonna kill me before I'm twenty-two."

Hinata grins ferally and continues his assault. He can feel Kageyama's knot expanding and he squeezes his hand around it to heighten the pleasure. Kageyama's grunts are more frequent and there are no words for several seconds, then his fingers tighten in Hinata's hair, and he thrusts up into Hinata's mouth. Hinata feels the knot pop and chokes down the hot liquid that coats his mouth. He watches Kageyama with fascination as he throws his head back and groans with ecstasy.

Fuck that was hot.

After a moment, Hinata pulls off and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, then climbs back into Kageyama's lap. His dick is painfully hard now, but he's riding a high, of pheromones and self-satisfaction and love. He kisses Kageyama's jaw, licks over his ear, and inhales his scent until the alpha emerges from his fog.

When Kageyama peeks at him through hooded eyes, he teases, "You okay, alpha?"

"Jesus, Sho. You have my permission to do that anytime you want."

"Yeah? Good?"

"Ugh, do you even have to ask? I'm going to give you a point for that without even arguing."

Hinata smiles as he kisses Kageyama's relaxed lips. A moment later, Kageyama seems to rally. He starts kissing Hinata back, and his hands are exploring Hinata's bare skin again.

After a couple of minutes, Kageyama says, "I've thought about this so many times myself, but it was never this good in my fantasies."

Hinata chuckles. "Yeah, mine either. But my heat, that was fucking fantastic, not gonna lie."

Kageyama breaks the kiss and leans back to look into Hinata's eyes. "You said then that you thought about my hands and my fingers. I started to suspect you had feelings for me, but when you looked at me, I could tell there was something there. That you felt something too."

Hinata's heart skips a beat. "It was hard to hide my feelings when you took such good care of me."

"I tried. And I want to keep doing it."

Hinata sighs. "I know. That's just you. Thank you, Tobio."

One side of Kageyama's mouth pulls up slightly, and Hinata knows it's his shy but proud smile. "So, alpha, how about now?"

Kageyama frowns slightly. "Now what?"

"How about you take me to bed and take care of me."

One eyebrow shoots up, then Kageyama grins for real. "It would be my pleasure, omega."

Before Hinata can register the words, Kageyama is standing. Hinata wraps his legs around Kageyama's waist, giggling with euphoria. Kageyama walks into the kitchen but pauses. "Your bed or mine?"

"Oh, um, you have the en suite bathroom, so that's probably easier. But grab the baby monitor, just in case."

Kageyama diverts to Hinata's bedroom, and Hinata plucks the monitor from the dresser. Kageyama walks back through the kitchen to his bedroom, then kicks the door shut. He allows Hinata to place the monitor on the bedside table, then tosses him on the bed before covering him with his body.

Hinata revels in the feeling of Kageyama's weight pressing him down, of Kageyama's mouth on his ear, then on his scent gland. Kageyama's mouth lingers over the tender flesh, licking and sucking and making Hinata squirm with desire.

"Shoyo, you smell so fucking good. I can't wait to sink my teeth in. I can't wait to mate with you."

The words flow over Hinata like a warm blanket. "I want that too, 'Yama. So much. But maybe we should wait until we've been dating more than eight hours."

Kageyama chuckles. "Dumbass. Obviously."

Hinata laughs as well, his love for this selfless, kind alpha overflowing until he can't hold it in anymore.

"God I love you."

"Love you too, Sho. So much."

Kageyama pauses to lift Hinata's t-shirt up and over his head, then moves his mouth down to take one pink nipple into his mouth. As he licks and bites softly, Hinata moves his hands to Kageyama's hair and embeds his fingers there as he arches his back. Kageyama's mouth moves lower, down across his stomach, and Hinata bites his tongue to avoid saying anything about his scar and stretch marks.

"So sexy," Kageyama whispers as he worships Hinata's skin. "So fucking beautiful."

"Now that my belly is flat?" Hinata asks.

Kageyama pauses and his eyes snap to Hinata's. "Are you kidding me? You were so fucking sexy when you were pregnant?"

Hinata's shock is immediate. "Really? But that time you saw me without a shirt, you disappeared into your bedroom. I thought you… I thought you didn't want to see me like that with my big belly."

Kageyama scoots up closer so they are nose to nose. "You are such a dumbass. I was in rut. You were right there in my face, obviously breedable, and my alpha wanted you so bad. I wanted you so bad."

The words generate a warmth in Hinata's chest. "Really?"

"Yes, really. I can't wait to breed you."

He says it so matter-of-factly, but it still sounds so fucking hot that Hinata's cock jumps. "Yeah?"

"Definitely."

"We should probably wait until we've been dating more than eight hours."

Kageyama rolls his pretty, blue eyes. "Clearly," he says as he resumes kissing Hinata's stomach. Hinata's heart flip-flops, and he closes his eyes to enjoy the sensations. When Kageyama reaches for the waistband of his pants, he lifts his ass to allow his alpha to drag them down his legs and off, along with his cupcake boxers.

Kageyama sucks down Hinata's cock in one go, and Hinata hisses with surprise and arousal, but then Kageyama pulls off just as quickly, and Hinata's eyes snap open to find Kageyama standing. "What are you doing?"

"Getting lube, dumbass."

"Oh."

A moment later, Kageyama settles back onto the bed, and Hinata relaxes as he feels Kageyama's hot, wet mouth on him again. Then, a wet finger circles his entrance, and he gasps, tangling his hands in the sheets under him. When Kageyama slips a finger inside, probing as his mouth continues to suck and tease, Hinata's breathing quickens.

When Kageyama adds a second finger, then crooks them just so, Hinata sees stars. Sucking in a raspy breath, he feels the heat pool in his gut. "Tobi, oh god, so good."

Kageyama hums around his dick and pushes a third finger in. The stretch is a bit uncomfortable, but all that is forgotten when those long, talented fingers find his prostate again, petting over it relentlessly until Hinata feels himself barreling toward the edge. "Yes, yes, oh god," he chants, bucking his hips. Kageyama doubles his efforts with both his hand and mouth, and before Hinata can warn his alpha, he's shooting his load. Groaning as Kageyama works him through it, Hinata lets the waves of pleasure wash over him and drown him.

Finally, Kageyama removes his mouth and hand, and Hinata feels suddenly empty. His eyes crack open to see Kageyama standing and shucking off his clothes, first his shirt, exposing his sleek torso and muscled arms, then his pants and boxer briefs. His legs are thick and strong, and his cock has rallied since their encounter on the sofa. He looks virile, strong, gorgeous.

Perfect.

Hinata props himself up on his elbows. "You're the one who's beautiful, Tobio. I can't believe you're mine."

Kageyama blushes again and leans down to kiss Hinata's lips. "I am yours. For as long as you'll have me."

"Then you'll be mine forever," Hinata promises as his heart threatens to burst with happiness. They kiss for a moment, tenderly, playfully, then Kageyama pauses and backs away slightly.

"Oh, shit. I need to get a condom from your room. I don't have any."

Instinctively, Hinata says, "Wait," before the thought is fully formed in his mind.

Kageyama's eyebrows draw together. "What?"

"Don't."

"Don't get a condom?"

"Yes. I mean, you don't need one. I don't care if you don't."

Kageyama's face morphs into his confused frown. "I mean, I know you can't get pregnant outside of your heats, but what about, you know, other stuff?"

"I'm not worried about STDs and honestly, Tobi, I want to feel you." Hinata only realizes the truth of the statement as it leaves his mouth.

Kageyama's eyes darken dangerously, and electricity rockets up Hinata's spine. "You're sure?"

"Yes, please."

"Fuck," Kageyama swears softly as he covers Hinata with his body. Their bodies meet with urgency this time, and they are all dueling tongues and greedy hands. "Sho," Kageyama chants, "Want you so bad."

"Take me. Do it," Hinata begs as he opens his legs and invites his alpha in. Kageyama lines up and pushes inside slowly, inch by inch, and the sensation of his hot skin without a condom burns Hinata up.

"Oh, god," Hinata moans lewdly as Kageyama slips inside, then bottoms out. Kageyama leans down to capture Hinata's mouth in a kiss and starts to move his hips in time with his plunging tongue. Within a minute, Hinata's hands are squeezing Kageyama's ass, pulling him closer as his hips rise to meet each thrust. He wants his alpha deeper, harder.

He wants more. Needs it.

"Tobio, let's switch positions."

Kageyama's eyes meet his, glazed with lust. "Okay. How do you want it?"

"Can I ride you?"

"Fuck, yeah," Kageyama agrees pulling out and lying on his back. Hinata feels predatory as he crawls over his alpha, leaning down to kiss his waiting lips, then leaning back and finding his hard alpha cock, lining up, and easing down slowly. It burns in the best possible way as he takes Kageyama fully inside him. He's deep, so deep, and Hinata feels so full. It's exquisite.

He starts to move himself up and down as Kageyama's hands massage his thighs, then his hips. Then one of those large hands closes around Hinata's dick, and he groans with satisfaction, picking up the pace. He can feel Tobio's big cock grazing against his prostate, but it's not enough.

"Need more. Harder. Please, Tobi."

Kageyama growls in agreement, and plants his feet flat on the bed, then thrusts up so forcefully that Hinata's whole body convulses with pleasure. "Oh, yes. Like that. Oh, god, don't stop."

Kageyama obeys his omega's command, hammering into him from below, as Hinata hangs onto Kageyama's pecs and shivers every time his prostate is pounded. He's delirious with need, on the edge of nirvana as his alpha owns him.

God, his alpha is perfect.

Within a few minutes, the tension builds to a crescendo, and Hinata throws his head back as his orgasm crests. He feels his cock kick, over and over, as the waves of pleasure crash over his body and he moans like a porn star. After a few more seconds, Kageyama thrusts up forcefully as he pulls Hinata onto his cock by the meat of his hips. Kageyama's grunts fill Hinata's ears as he pops his knot, then his spend fills Hinata's hole. It's warm and strange and absolutely wonderful.

Hinata collapses onto Kageyama's chest, making a mess between them, but he pays it no attention as he drags ragged breaths into his lungs and listens to Kageyama's thumping heart. They lie that way for a minute or so until Kageyama rolls them to their sides.

Still connected, Hinata reaches up to brush an inky strand from Kageyama's forehead. His eyes are still a bit unfocused and his cheeks are red, and he looks handsome and adorable all at once.

"Hi," Hinata murmurs.

"Hi," Kageyama answers, still sounding a little breathy.

Hinata sighs heavily. "That was amazing."

A ghost of a smile traces over Kageyama's face as if he's too tired for a full smile. "Yeah."

Hinata pulls Kageyama's hand to his lips and places a kiss on his palm. Kageyama's eyes sparkle, and Hinata doesn't know how he missed the adoration he sees there. It's so obvious now.

"I like looking at you," he says sweetly.

"I like looking at you too," Kageyama replies seriously.

"I love you, Tobio. So much. Forever."

"I love you too. So much. Forever."

 

///

 

Notes:

Sorry for the delay in updating. Working HARD on edits to Mine To Protect. Damn, editing is difficult! I'm adding in scenes and changing the order of events, and truthfully, going a bit insane.

I'm actually thinking of releasing a paperback, even though I originally didn't think I would. Is anyone actually interested in buying a paperback as opposed to a Kindle book?

A.D. Sano Contact Info:

If you want to stay up to date on the MTP release and other related info, you can join my mailing list on my website https://adsanoauthor.wixsite.com/adsano/

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or Facebook https://www.facebook.com/authoradsano/ .
(I deleted my author account on the Nazi's site.)

Bo_Love Contact Info:

I'm trying to make the move off twitter but I'm scared people won't be able to find me. I'm on the following alternatives:

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Chapter 25: Unveiling

Summary:

Everyone reacts to Kageyama and Hinata finally getting together

Wednesday morning back at work is a challenge Kageyama wasn't prepared for. He is working next to Hinata at the kitchen counter and trying to focus on the pastry dough he's kneading. But Hinata is so close to him, his scent alluring and intoxicating, and all Kageyama wants to do is hug and kiss him, scent him, touch him constantly, and maybe take him in the back room to fuck. This is not going to be good for business. Probably anyway.

When Yachi comes in for her shift, she says her good mornings as usual. She hangs up her jacket in the other room, then returns, tying an apron around her waist.

"How was Miyagi, Hinata-kun?"

"Good! It was good to see my family, to catch up, to have them meet Suki."

Kageyama watches as Hinata's face lights up. He loves that Hinata has reconciled with his family, that he can smile and not have that weight on his shoulders anymore.

"That's great! I'm so happy for you. We're glad to have you back, though. Kageyama…" she looks at Kageyama suggestively, "and I missed you here."

Kageyama can feel his face heat with embarrassment. Hinata's laugh is light and full. "I bet he did," Hinata says, then turns his bright face to Kageyama, his eyes doing that sparkly thing.

"You missed me, huh, Kageyama-kun?"

Kageyama is going to die, is going to fall face-first into a pile of dough, is going to suffocate on flour. "Shut up, dumbass," he mumbles. Hinata scoots toward him, wraps his arm around Kageyama's waist, and presses a kiss to his shoulder, still smiling.

Yachi chokes out a sound, then sputters in a high, squeaky voice, "What… what am I seeing? What is going on?"

Hinata's smile is more smirking now, and Kageyama can't believe he still looks so attractive like that. "We're together now," Hinata says simply.

Yachi's face turns red, and her mouth opens and closes a couple of times like a fish before she nearly shrieks, "Since when????"

Hinata answers, "Since Monday, when Kageyama came to Miyagi."

"Monday?? Monday??"

Kageyama worries that Yachi is going to have an aneurysm.

"Monday was two days ago!"

"Yeah?" Kageyama asks, wondering what days of the week have to do with her reaction.

"Neither of you thought to text or call me??" Yachi's voice is lower now, and Kageyama is a little scared.

"Should we have?" Kageyama asks, truly confused.

Yachi closes her eyes and breathes in deeply through her nose. When she opens them, her face is hard. "Don't you think I would have wanted to know?"

Hinata apologizes, "Sorry, Yachi. We just didn't think about it."

Yachi turns on Hinata, waves of tension radiating off her body. "I can excuse him because he's clueless, but YOU should have known better, Hinata-kun!"

"I really am sorry, Yachi. We both are," Hinata says earnestly. He lets go of Kageyama and bows to Yachi. "We were so excited and just kind of forgot. And then when we got back to Tokyo, we were a little busy…"

Kageyama chokes a bit, and Yachi's eyes swing to his, squinting.

"Oh, my god," she says, "Just don't continue that sentence. I get it. Geez, you people."

Yachi takes a deep breath, straightens and notches her chin up. "I forgive you, and I am happy for you. You two belong together. I'm just glad you finally listened to me. I've been telling you two for months to get together!"

Kageyama blushes again, and Hinata looks affronted. "What?"

"I knew it. I knew you both were into each other, but did either of you listen to me? No!"

Hinata looks chastised and apologizes, "Sorry, Yachi. I should have listened. I was just too afraid."

Kageyama is surprised and stares at Hinata's confession. Hinata slaps his arm and says, "If you're sorry, you should tell her too, Kageyama."

Kageyama mumbles an apology. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you sooner, Yachi-san."

Yachi huffs, "Well, okay then." She lifts her chin, then says, "I'm going to open the door and start working then."

When she's gone, Hinata looks up to him and shrugs. "Who knew she'd be so invested in our relationship?"

Kageyama shrugs as well. "She said she knew we both felt the same for months. I guess we were pretty dumb."

"Yeah, I guess," Hinata relents. "I'm glad I'm not stupid anymore, but I won't speak for you," Hinata teases.

Kageyama rolls his eyes, "Very funny, dumbass. Get back to work."

 

****

 

As the day continues, Kageyama fights off distractions and thoughts of kissing his partner as often as the bell over the door to the bakery tinkles. He hears customers come in and greet Yachi, though he can't hear all the words of their conversations, just some exclamations here and there.

At one point, he heard a customer practically yell, "Finally!" He wasn't sure what that was about but figured it was because he had finally gotten around to making wagashi again after a long hiatus.

At another point that morning, he hears Yachi giggle, and a customer loudly proclaim, "That's great!" He assumes the woman has tasted some of his desserts and really likes whatever she's tried.

A third customer is similarly excited about their confectionaries today, yelling, "Woo hoo!" from the counter. He and Hinata must really be making some fabulous desserts today!

Kageyama is happy and content as Hinata hums next to him throughout the morning. A couple of times he relents when Hinata pouts and stands on his tiptoes for a kiss, but then he gets back to work. Kageyama nearly chokes when Hinata playfully swats him on the ass. He quickly looks around to make sure Yachi isn't witnessing this embarrassment.

"Don't do that, dumbass," he chastises Hinata as a blush spreads through his cheeks to the tips of his ears.

Hinata has that shit-eating grin he gets when he's being a menace. "Why not?"

"Because…"

"Because why?"

"Ugh, you're impossible!"

"But you loooove me," Hinata sings.

Rolling his eyes, Kageyama picks up a tray of matcha swiss rolls and brings it to the front. Yachi is talking to a middle-aged woman with a short, dark bob who comes in frequently.

He greets her politely, as always, "Good morning, Suzuki-san. How are you today?"

She smiles at him, but there is something off Kageyama can't quite place. "I'm great! And how are YOU, Kageyama-kun?"

Kageyama frowns at the tone, sure he is missing something. "I'm fine." He continues to the bakery case and places the rolls on a plate there. As he bends over, he hears a surprised squawk.

"Oh, Kageyama-kun! You have a… um, handprint on your… um…"

Kageyama stands up straight and stares at the customer and Yachi, who are both holding back giggles. "What? What's wrong?"

Yachi controls herself long enough to get out, "Kageyama-kun, you have a flour handprint on your, um, backside."

Kageyama is sure he's red as the strawberries he tops his cheesecake with. He twists his body to try to look at his butt but can't see it. He huffs back to the kitchen and stares down Hinata.

"Did you put a handprint on my ass?"

Hinata looks up, surprised and then gleeful. "Did I?"

Kageyama turns around to show his ass, and Hinata starts laughing hysterically. "I guess I didn't realize the flour on my hands would show up so well on your dark jeans."

"What do you mean, 'so well'? A customer saw me like this!"

Hinata's eyes get wide, and he stifles another giggle. "Oh, that's, um, terrible," he says, clearly not thinking it's terrible at all.

"You are a menace! I'm going to wipe this off."

"Okay!" Hinata sings to his back. Fucking Hinata, embarrassing him in front of customers.

When Kageyama returns to the kitchen, he is working on some melonpan when he hears another woman exclaim, "It's about time!" from the front counter.

What is 'about time'? Kageyama wonders. Curious as to why all of the customers are so excited about his pastries today, he stands near the door so he can hear what Yachi is saying without being noticed.

"Yes, isn't that great?" Yachi says excitedly.

"I'm so excited! I can't wait to tell my grandmother in Osaka."

Her grandmother in Osaka? About his baked goods? What the fuck is going on?

When the young woman leaves, Yachi is wiping down the counter. Kageyama approaches, and she jumps from surprise.

"Kageyama-kun, is there something you need?"

"What was Ito-san saying it was 'about time' for?"

Yachi's eyes pop wide and then dart around the room, looking anywhere except at Kageyama.

"Yachi?"

"Um, so I sort of told her you and Hinata finally got together, and she said it was about time."

Kageyama's mouth falls open, and he gapes at her for five full seconds before he sputters, "What?"

"She's very happy for you two. She and her grandmother…"

"Her grandmother? In Osaka?"

"Yes, she and her grandmother have been hoping you two would figure things out and finally confess."

Kageyama feels like he's being punked. "Ito-san and HER GRANDMOTHER IN OSAKA have been hoping Hinata and I would get together?"

"Yes. Everyone has."

"Everyone?" Kageyama sputters, unable to wrap his brain around this unbelievable piece of information.

"Yes, Kageyama. Everyone. Haven't you heard their responses today when I finally told our customers the news?"

Kageyama blinks slowly several times as his sluggish brain crawls up to speed. "You have been telling everyone the news today? About me and Hinata?"

"Well of course! They've been watching you two for a year, waiting for one of you to make a move. Of course I was going to tell them when it finally happened!"

Kageyama feels like he's in a weird dream or a reality show where everyone but him is in on some joke. "Our customers have been waiting for me and Hinata to get together? For a year?"

Yachi looks a bit annoyed. "Yes, Kageyama. Everyone in Tokyo knew before you two idiots figured it out."

"Hey! We're not idiots!" is the only rebuttal Kageyama's feeble brain can manage.

"Okay, then," Yachi says. "Sorry." She doesn't look like she believes it or is really sorry at all.

The bell over the door tinkles again, and Yachi turns to greet them. Kageyama shuffles back to the kitchen, wondering what the fuck is going on, and why he didn't realize sooner that all of their customers knew he had a thing for Hinata. And even crazier, knew that Hinata liked him back.

 

****

 

That evening after dinner, Miwa comes to visit them. When she enters the door, she immediately hugs Hinata, calling him her 'brother' and telling both of them she knew all along they were meant to be together. Hinata seems to take it all in stride, laughing along with his sister, but Kageyama feels a bit salty at how everyone seems to have figured out their relationship before the two of them did.

After hugging Shoyo, Miwa turns right to Suki and picks her up. "Hello there, Suki-chan! It's Auntie Miwa! I can't wait to be the best, coolest aunt ever. I am going to spoil you soooo much!" she cooes. Kageyama frowns as he watches this gaudy display and sits down next to Hinata on the sofa. Hinata, as he has been all day, seems to be grinning happily at all of these strange developments.

"Oh, I spoke to Suga and Kiyoko," Miwa says as she sits in the chair and arranges Suki on her lap. They say, "Congrats and it's about time."

"That's nice," Hinata says at the same time Kageyama says, "What the fuck?"

Miwa narrows her eyes at him. "Tobio, no swearing in front of the baby!"

Chastised, Kageyama pinkens, but he still presses on. "They said 'It's about time'? Are you sure you're not just adding that in to prove how right you were?"

"Tobio, I can't believe you would accuse me of that! Of course that's what they said."

"So both Suga-san and Kiyoko-san were just waiting for us to get together?"

"Yes," Miwa answers.

Kageyama crosses his arms over his chest, still petulant. "So did EVERYONE except the two of us know that we liked each other?"

"Yes, Tobio. EVERYONE. Even the cat knew."

Three sets of eyes swivel to Mikeneko, who sits perched on the back of the sofa behind Hinata's head.

"Meow," Mikeneko answers.

Kageyama chokes out an indignant protest, "What the f…" but stops when he meets Miwa's scolding eyes. "What the… heck?"

He turns to his boyfriend for help, but Hinata is cackling like some unhinged hyena out of the Lion King. "You think this is funny?" Kageyama asks incredulously.

Hinata turns to him, his eyes dancing with mirth. "Yeah, sort of. You don't?"

"No," Kageyama retorts, "I find it insulting."

"Aww, come on Tobio," Hinata says, pointedly using his first name to embarrass him further. "You gotta admit it is pretty funny. I mean, even Ito-san's grandmother in Osaka…"

"Just shut up, dumbass," Kageyama hisses with a pout.

Miwa scolds him again, "Tobio! Language!"

Kageyama crosses his arms over his chest as Hinata laughs even louder. Hinata leans over and whispers something to Miwa, and they both start chortling hysterically.

"What? What did you say?"

Miwa is laughing so hard that tears are running down her face. Hinata's face is red because he can't catch his breath.

"What? What is going on?" Kageyama presses.

Finally, Miwa stops laughing enough to get out a few words, "Shoyo said… if Suki could talk…"

Kageyama cuts her off, "Just stop! You two are unbearable."

They both continue with their giggle fits until Suki joins them, and Kageyama feels again like he's in some alternate universe. He does not think this is funny, and he's starting to question the sanity of his sister and his boyfriend.

After several minutes, Hinata and Miwa's laughter subsides to chuckles, and they both sigh dramatically. Kageyama doesn't dare speak, lest they crack up again.

If they do, he's taking Suki and leaving.

"So," Miwa finally says, sounding half normal, "I brought Suki some new outfits."

"Oh, thank you, but you didn't need to do that Miwa-san," Hinata says earnestly.

"I really did. Someone needs to save this child from you two fashion disasters. Don't they, Suki-chan?" she asks the baby, who coos back happily.

"What do you mean fashion disasters?" Kageyama has had enough bullying for the day, thank you very much.

Miwa looks up, her eyes still sparkling and teasing. "You and Hinata wear sweatpants and t-shirts most of the time. Your idea of dressing up is a pair of jeans and a shirt with buttons. Neither of you own a decent pair of dress shoes. I refuse to let my niece grow up without any sense of fashion. If she chooses to dress like her parents, that's fine, but I'm going to make sure she has the choice by bringing some nice clothes."

"We get her nice clothes," Kageyama insists, pouting again.

"I know, sweetie. I'm just going to get her some more nice ones. And we'll go shopping when you're older, won't we Suki-chan? Yes, Auntie Miwa will take you shopping!"

Kageyama turns to Hinata, who just shrugs. "If she wants to buy Suki clothes, I'm not going to tell her no," Hinata whispers.

Kageyama pouts some more.

When Miwa finally leaves, Kageyama takes Suki and sets her on a blanket on the floor while Hinata walks Miwa to the door. He's had enough of his sister's teasing for today and needs to decompress with his daughter.

God, how amazing that sounds!

Since she's five months old now, she can roll over from front to back and back to front. Kageyama lays on his belly next to her and watches as she rolls around. He places a wooden train car just out of reach and marvels at how she rolls to get it.

Hinata returns and arranges himself next to Kageyama. He drops his chin onto his folded arms. Without speaking, they both watch Suki play for a while. She rolls right up to Kageyama, and he can see into her open, drooling mouth.

"Hey, Sho? Is that a tooth in her mouth?"

Hinata leans over and peers in, then runs his finger over her gum. "Yes! Suki-chan! You're getting your first tooth! You are such a big girl!"

She gurgles happily in response.

Kageyama is grinning now, somehow excited at this milestone, even though it seems foolish. All babies get teeth. Suki is just like any other baby.

Except she's his.

And he can be foolishly happy over a tooth if he wants to be.

He glances over and finds Hinata studying his face. "What are you smiling for, 'Yama?"

Kageyama pauses. "I know it's stupid, but I'm happy she's getting a tooth. I like watching her do all these things. Like, a month ago she couldn't roll over like this, and now she can. It's kind of amazing, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Hinata says softly, his eyes warming. "Yeah, it's amazing."

Kageyama knows there's something more to that statement, and he feels his skin flush. Hinata reaches out a hand and brushes the bangs off his forehead. "You're amazing, too."

A sense of contentment overflows in Kageyama's heart. "You too," he responds, knowing they look and sound like sappy, ridiculous lovers.

But he figures they've earned it.

Suki's babbling draws their attention away from each other. She's making noises, "Mmmm-maaaa, mmmm-maaaa."

Hinata brightens. "Yes, you're such a smart girl. Are you saying Mama? Say it again. Mama. Mama."

"Mmmm-maaaa," Suki repeats, and Hinata turns to Kageyama. "She said Mama."

Kageyama scoffs. "Okay. She said something that vaguely sounded like that. I'm sure she's not calling you Mama."

"I think she was!" Hinata insists.

"Okay, whatever," Kageyama agrees, just to keep the peace.

Suki continues to babble, making a sound like Mama, then another like Baaaa-baaa.

"Do you think she is saying Baba for bottle?" Hinata asks.

"Sho, she's five months old. She's not some genius. Those are just sounds."

"She could be a genius!" Hinata shoots back indignantly.

Kageyama just stares at him.

"Maybe," Hinata adds, sounding less sure.

Suki continues to vocalize all kinds of sounds, and Kageyama does not pay much attention until he hears Daaaaaa-daaaa.

His head shoots up, and he looks at Hinata. "Did you hear that?"

"What?" Hinata asks teasingly.

"She just said Dada," Kageyama says.

"I don't think so, Tobio. Those are just random sounds. It's not like she's a genius or something," Hinata retorts, clearly throwing Kageyama's words back at him.

"Shut up, dumbass. She TOTALLY just said Dada. Didn't you, princess?"

"Daaa-daaa."

"See? I told you!"

Hinata squawks, "She isn't saying Mama but she's saying Dada? What the hell?"

"She clearly is saying Dada. She only sort of said Mama."

"She said Mama too! I heard it!"

"Hmmm," Kageyama hums, knowing he's riling Hinata up.

"Kageyama Tobio, admit she said Mama too or I'm going to…"

"To what?" Kageyama asks, grinning evilly.

"You ass," Hinata says as he realizes Kageyama is teasing. "But it did sound like Mama," he adds under his breath.

"Let's call this one a tie."

"Deal."

They both turn to their daughter and watch her. Hinata takes out his phone and starts to record a video, urging Suki to repeat the sounds. When she repeats Mama and Dada after many prompts, they both beam with pride and share the video with their families. Hinata puts away the camera, then leans over Kageyama, placing a kiss on his lips.

"'Yama, I'm really, really happy," he says, his smile soft and shy.

Kageyama feels a warmth blanket his body. His omega's smile, his omega's scent, everything is perfect right now. Suki tries to climb up on Kageyama's arm, and he picks her up and places her on his chest. She looks up at both of them and squeals happily.

"Yeah. I'm really, really happy, too," Kageyama responds.

 

///

 

Notes:

I'm still editing Mine To Protect and based on feedback, am planning to release a paperback in addition to the Kindle book! I've added a bunch of scenes and am pretty happy with how it's going, but it is taking forever due to work and family commitments (and also a bunch of external stressors here in the U.S. that are challenging my mental health). I'm hoping to finish during March and release in April. Don't hold me to that though!

A.D. Sano Info:
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Bo_Love Info:
I'm trying to make the move off the Nazi's site, but I'm scared people won't be able to find me. I'm on the following alternatives:
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Chapter 26: Given

Summary:

Hinata finally experiences Kageyama in rut

Notes:

Yes, I did name this Given and yes, it is a nod to the anime. I'm obsessed with Mafuyama. They're just Kagehina in a different font.

As the crisp autumn breezes give way to chilly winter winds, Hinata is the happiest he's ever been. Business is good at the bakery, so good that they're considering hiring another worker to help Yachi in the front. Suki is thriving, chubby-cheeked and good-natured. Miwa showed them how to put tiny little pigtails in her auburn hair, and she looks so freaking adorable that Hinata can't even stand it. He regularly facetimes with his family, and they visit about once a month. In between visits and video calls, he sends cute pictures of his daughter to the family group chat just to see their over-the-top comments and reactions.

One day in early December, Hinata is working on another cheesecake in the kitchen while Kageyama dusts powdered sugar over some Christmas cakes. He's humming a silly kids' song that Suki likes. It's been stuck in his head for days and it's annoying the shit out of him.

Yachi comes from the front of the bakery asking if they have any more matcha cookies. Hinata points her to the tray in front of him, and Yachi puts a hand on his shoulder as she leans in to grab it.

Both are startled when a low growl comes from Kageyama.

Four eyes swing to the alpha, who's scowling fiercely at Yachi's hand, which is still on Hinata's shoulder. Both Hinata and Yachi seem to clock the situation at the same time, and Yachi quickly drops her hand and apologizes.

"I'm sorry, Kageyama-san. I was just getting the matcha cookies." Kageyama watches her with dark, wary eyes as she scuttles from the room.

"'Yama, what the fuck was that?"

Kageyama ignores the question as he pulls Hinata to him and immediately starts scenting him. Hinata allows the affection as his mind does some quick calculations.

"Is your rut coming?"

"Mmm," Kageyama hums in acknowledgment.

"Okay, I get it. But you can't growl at our employee!"

"She was touching you," Kageyama mumbles. "I didn't like it."

"I know, baby. But still, keep your growly feelings to yourself."

Kageyama stops scenting and leans back, his lips pursed in the most adorable pout. Hinata takes pity on the poor, pre-rut alpha and leans up on his tiptoes to kiss him.

"Do you need to go upstairs and get your den ready?"

Kageyama pouts deepens when Hinata ends the kiss. "Not right now. I should make it till the end of the day."

"Call Miwa-san then. Ask her to come get Suki this evening."

After work, Hinata picks up Suki from Mrs. Eguchi and explains how they won't need her to watch Suki for the next few days since they feel better having Miwa watch her overnight. When he gets home, he prepares pork curry for dinner, then packs a bag with Suki's things. When Miwa comes to get their daughter, Hinata hugs her tight and kisses her all over her sweet, pink cheeks before allowing her aunt to take her from them.

As Miwa leaves, Hinata realizes Suki is seven months old and he's only been away from her for more than a few hours one other time – when he had his heat back in September. He knows Miwa will take good care of her though, so he allows himself to indulge in the memories of those amazing few days. They make him anxious to get on with Kageyama's rut. He's curious how the alpha will act and is looking forward to some intense sex.

They cuddle on the sofa and watch baking shows. Kageyama doesn't even want to let Hinata get up to go to the bathroom by himself. Hinata relents but only allows Kageyama to stand outside the closed door. He's not quite ready for his boyfriend to watch him pee yet.

As the evening progresses, they ready Kageyama's bedroom for his rut, gathering water and snacks to keep close by. At bedtime, they brush their teeth and strip down to boxers before climbing into Kageyama's bed. Hinata is tired from working all day and falls asleep quickly.

He is awakened by a soft growling. "Shoyou?"

Upon hearing his name, Hinata's eyes snap open. He is lying on his back and can see Kageyama looming over him in the faint glow of the nightlight they kept on. The alpha's eyes are laser-focused on him, his pupils blown so wide that Hinata can barely see the blue ring surrounding them. Kageyama braces himself on his hands, placed on either side of Hinata's head. His muscles are bulging with the strain.

He looks hungry.

"Sho. Want you. Need you."

"I'm here, babe. What do you need?"

Relief flashes across Kageyama's face, and Hinata realizes he was waiting for permission. He drops his weight onto Hinata and immediately starts nuzzling his neck and licking over his scent gland as his hips grind into Hinata.

Hinata is fully awake now. He wraps his legs around Kageyama's waist.

"Need to be inside you."

"Okay, do it."

Kageyama pulls away from Hinata's neck with a slurp and unceremoniously drags his boxers down over his hips. Before Hinata sees the garment hit the floor beside the bed, Kageyama has his dick in his mouth and his finger probing his slicked-up hole.

Hinata gasps and embeds his fingers in Kageyama's silky locks. "Oh, god, Tobi."

Kageyama hums as he sucks in his cheeks. At the same time, he presses a second finger inside, wasting no time opening up his boyfriend. Hinata moans at the sensation as Kageyama expertly presses on his prostate.

"Fuck, yes!"

How the fuck does he find it so quickly? Every single time.

Hinata has this fleeting thought before all meaningful cognitive function ceases. Kageyama is three fingers deep and petting against his sweet spot like a pro. Hinata is losing blood to his brain as gooseflesh spreads over his body, and the urgent sensation gathers low in his gut.

"'Yama," he gasps, bucking his hips off the bed.

Kageyama hums around his dick, and the vibration sends Hinata crashing over the edge. He groans lewdly as his cock kicks, and Kageyama works him through it until he's squirming from oversensitivity.

"Okay, okay," he begs, and Kageyama finally pops off and easily slides his fingers from Hinata's ass. Standing up on his knees, Kageyama slides off his boxer briefs, and Hinata gets one brief, breathtaking view of the alpha's thick, hard cock before Kageyama presses him into the mattress and slides in effortlessly due to the excess of slick. The feeling of fullness sends tingles throughout Hinata's lower body, and he immediately wraps his legs around Kageyama's waist, digging his heels in to get his alpha closer, as if that was even possible.

Kageyama's hips are pistoning in and out as Hinata holds on tight with both arms and legs. Kageyama is sucking on Hinata's scent gland, murmuring, "Can't wait to mark you, make you mine."

"I am yours, Tobio," Hinata breathes out in a near-whisper.

"Want everyone else to know."

"I want that too."

Hinata can feel Kageyama's knot expanding, providing a delicious stretch, a divine fullness. The feeling is like nothing else. It's sublime, addictive.

"Want to stuff you full of my pups. Keep you pregnant all the time. Soon as you have one, gonna fill you with another." Kageyama's voice is hoarse, his breathing labored.

"Yes, baby. I want your pups. So much."

"You look so good pregnant. Wanna see you round and full."

"Okay, whatever you want," Hinata agrees, mindlessly tilting his hips to increase the pressure where Kageyama is pounding his prostate dead-on each time. "Anything you want."

"Be my good omega."

"Yes, I will, I promise."

Kageyama's knot catches on Hinata's rim with each pass, and Hinata knows the alpha is close to blowing his load. The stretch borders on painful, but at the same time, Hinata loves the feeling of fullness, of being owned like this, to know that his alpha desires him so desperately and wants to stuff him full of pups. Hinata's second orgasm is building now with the steady strokes to his sweet spot and the friction of his dick trapped between their stomachs.

Kageyama latches onto Hinata's neck again, mouthing over his scent glands so harshly that Hinata momentarily fears Kageyama will mark him accidentally. But then the alpha merely sucks the tender flesh as his hips finally drive his knot inside, filling Hinata up. The sensation of the big, alpha knot sends Hinata cascading over the edge. His cock kicks between them, and he feels the warm, hot liquid on his stomach.

Kageyama is breathing harshly, still sucking on Hinata's neck, but more gently. Hinata draws in some ragged breaths, though it's hard with Kageyama's weight pressing him down.

A moment later, Kageyama rolls to his back, taking Hinata with him, and Hinata can breathe easier. He tucks his head under Kageyama's chin and enjoys the warmth and connection. They don't say anything for a moment, but when Hinata's brain function kicks in again, he murmurs, "Tobio, how many pups do you want?"

Kageyama's big blue eyes fixate on him, but they're still hazy. "I don't know. My alpha would say, like, ten, or however many I can fuck into you until you're too old to catch them anymore."

Hinata chuckles softly. "What about you?"

"I don't know," Kageyama answers as his lips turn down in a small frown. "Two more? Maybe three? Whatever you want, honestly."

"Two or three more is good. Not ten, though, okay? Your alpha is going to have to just deal with it."

Kageyama laughs softly.

The day and night pass in a blur of sleep and sex. Hinata's ass is sore as fuck, but he's got no regrets. Kageyama in rut is a sight he wondered (okay fantasized) about for a long time and experiencing it firsthand is no disappointment. Having his boyfriend routinely dirty talk about getting him pregnant while repeatedly knotting him is no burden whatsoever.

After one particularly rowdy interlude, Kageyama falls asleep, and when his knot goes down, Hinata quietly slips from the bed to use the bathroom. Afterward, he reaches for his boxers but remembers that Kageyama literally ripped them off him an hour ago, so they're bound for the trash. Kageyama is lucky those weren't his favorite cupcake boxers, or Hinata would be pissed right now. That particular garment is soaked with slick and sitting safely in the laundry basket at this point.

He pads, naked, toward his bedroom. It's the dead of the night, and the dim light of the streetlamps illuminates the kitchen enough for him to navigate without turning on a light. He gets to his room, flips on the light, finds a pair of his least favorite boxers, and slides them on. He switches off the light and quietly makes his way across the kitchen. He passes through the door to Kageyama's room, which he left open, and is suddenly grabbed. The door slams shut behind him, and before he knows it, Kageyama has his back trapped against the closed door.

"You left me," the alpha growls accusingly. His face is inches from Hinata's, and he's flushed and tense.

"I just went to get clean boxers."

"You don't need those. Why did you leave me?"

Hinata reaches up a hand and cups the alpha's jaw. "Tobio, I'm not leaving you. Ever. I just went to the other room."

"Don't leave. I don't like it. Want you near me," Kageyama insists, his face serious and grave.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

"Okay, good," Kageyama mumbles. Without any warning, he roughly drags Hinata's boxers down his leg, and Hinata has just enough time to kick them off before Kageyama bends down to lift him by the back of his thighs and presses him against the door. Hinata's legs instinctively wrap around his alpha's waist. His face is a couple of inches above Kageyama's so that the alpha has to tilt his head up to kiss him, but that doesn't stop Kageyama from devouring his mouth at the same time he grinds his hard cock against Hinata's ass.

Soon Hinata is craving the feel of that big cock inside him. But he doesn't need to ask.

Kageyama positions his cock at Hinata's entrance and pushes inside without resistance. He's mouthing at Hinata's scent glands and babbling again about pups and Hinata being round and pregnant. As the waves of pleasure wash over him, Hinata realizes he's never felt so loved, so desired, so wanted ever in his life.

And as his orgasm crests, tears of joy and contentment spill over his cheeks.

 

++++

 

Kageyama's twenty-second birthday arrives a couple of weeks later, and Hinata can't help but tease him a little for being younger. Kageyama takes it in stride, of course, but Hinata knows he's been stressed at work. Kageyama had to rise early that morning to finish not one, but two wedding cakes, and Yachi has been out sick for three days.

When they close the bakery that evening, Kageyama looks pale and drained.

"Are you sure you want to go to dinner tonight? You look really tired."

"Yeah, it's tradition," Kageyama answers. "I'll be fine after a shower."

"Tobio, you know, Suki and I don't have to come with you. I know it's always been you and Miwa at your birthday dinner."

Kageyama looks wounded at Hinata's words. He turns and stands in front of Hinata, gently tilting his chin upwards with his finger. "No, Shoyo. It's always been my family at dinner. You and Suki are my family now. So you're coming."

Kageyama punctuates his words with a soft kiss to Hinata's lips that makes the redhead flutter his eyes and flush slightly.

How can such simple words make him feel like the world tilted on his axis?

"Okay," Hinata mumbles, entirely smitten and not one bit sorry about it.

At the restaurant, they have a highchair for Suki, but Miwa ends up holding her niece in her lap most of the time. She animatedly tells them stories about a customer at work that day, and Suki's big brown eyes are fixed on Miwa's face. Kageyama has had two cups of sake, giving him a flushed, innocent look that Hinata finds irresistible. Kageyama is also hanging on Miwa's every word as she relates the funny story, and Hinata can't help but watch his boyfriend and daughter looking enthralled at the same time. It's too cute.

Kageyama seems relaxed, happy, content. He's lacking the reserved awkwardness he sometimes displays in social situations, and Hinata loves how he is right now, laughing unreservedly, his eyes dancing with humor.

God, he fucking loves him so much.

When they return home after dinner, they bathe the baby, and Kageyama reads her a story. Hinata's only had a few drinks himself, but he feels light and bubbly. He's eager for Suki to go to sleep so he can give Kageyama his birthday present.

Finally, Suki's eyes fall shut and don't open again, and Kageyama gently lifts her from his lap and puts her to bed. Hinata meets him outside Suki's bedroom door, and they go together to Kageyama's bedroom.

"Are you ready for your birthday present?" Hinata asks mischievously. He's been teasing Kageyama all day about this present so that damn alpha better be grateful.

"Sure," Kageyama says, drawling out the word like he's figured out it involves sex.

"Not yet, Romeo," Hinata chastises him. "First get naked and lie on the bed. On your stomach."

"So far this is sounding pretty sexual."

"Haha. Are you gonna do what I said or not?"

"If I say no, does it get sexual faster?"

Hinata is equal parts amused and irritated. "No!"

Kageyama huffs softly and tugs off his shirt. Hinata watches the lithe muscles flex as Kageyama strips for him, tossing his clothes into the hamper. He stands for a moment as if letting Hinata look his fill.

This view of Kageyama is Hinata's favorite eye candy.

Hinata drags his eyes from Kageyama's thick thighs and long, pretty cock hanging there in a nestle of dark curls. "Get on the bed, on your stomach," he instructs, his voice hoarse from lack of moisture in his mouth.

Kageyama obeys with a smirk, which Hinata pointedly ignores. He lays on his stomach with his face resting on his folded hands. Hinata is rewarded with the back view of naked Kageyama, which is his second favorite eye candy.

"So what are you going to do to me? You're sure it's not sexual?" Kageyama asks cheekily.

"I'm going to give you a massage," Hinata says, recovering his wits from the sight of his boyfriend's naked body. "I know you've been stressed. I thought this would help."

"Do you even know how to do a massage, dumbass?"

"Shut up. I watched some YouTube videos, okay? I can do it good enough, anyway."

"Okay, fine. And then we can have sex?"

Hinata scoffs. "Yes, Horny-Yama. We can have sex after."

"Okay," Kageyama agrees. He closes his eyes and relaxes his body. Hinata rubs some lotion on his hands and straddles Kageyama's very naked, very round, pert ass.

Concentrate, Shoyo!

Hinata pushes away his lustful thoughts and focuses on kneading Kageyama's muscles like he learned in the videos he watched. He presses and rubs his hands over Kageyama's shoulders and back, admiring the sleek ridges. Kageyama relaxes and occasionally lets out little sighs of satisfaction, which only spurs Hinata on.

"Feel good?"

"Mmm. 'S good, Sho. Thank you."

Hinata is emboldened by the praise and continues his ministrations, placing random kisses on Kageyama's muscles here and there when the whimsy strikes. He works his fingers and thumbs down Kageyama's arms, circling over and over when he feels a knot. He can't help but try to circle his fingers around Kageyama's bicep and is mildly thrilled to find out his fingers won't touch.

"What are you doing?" Kageyama murmurs.

"Nothing!" Hinata says, too loudly, embarrassed at being caught. Kageyama chuckles softly, and Hinata is grateful he doesn't mention that he knows what Hinata is doing.

Hinata continues down the first arm, then repeats the process with the second. When both arms are done, he goes back to Kageyama's shoulders and neck for a bit before sliding himself down to work Kageyama's legs. Damn, Kageyama's ass is right there, round and perfect. Hinata drags his eyes away, then focuses his attention on his boyfriend's legs. Those muscles are all defined and taut as well, and Hinata is getting really freaking excited. Damn, Kageyama is a fucking perfect specimen, like some Greek god sent to earth to tempt Hinata's horny-ass brain.

He comforts himself by remembering he will be railed soon.

He finishes both legs and works his hands up the back of Kageyama's thighs to his ass cheeks. Hinata begins to massage the globes gently and briefly considers biting them. He wonders how Kageyama would react to having a hickey on his butt. Unwilling to venture out that far in their first massage, he makes a mental note to ask Kageyama about it for next time.

Massaging Kageyama's perfect ass results in Hinata sporting a massive boner. I mean, who can blame his poor dick when he's got a freaking hot alpha right there? Hinata works his way up to Kageyama's lower back, then further up to his shoulders, scattering kisses and soft bites on the skin as he moves up. When he reaches Kageyama's neck, he licks over his scent glands, and kisses beneath his ear, enjoying the potent scent that reaches his nose from this close distance. He can feel himself slicking up, ready for his boyfriend to take him apart.

"Tobio, I'm done now. And I want you. Fuck me, please."

Hinata continues mouthing over the sensitive flesh at Kageyama's neck, expecting the alpha to roll over and get this party started, but after a moment, there's no response.

"Tobio?" Hinata says, pushing himself up on his hands.

That fucker is asleep.

Hinata freezes for several seconds, debating what to do. Kageyama looks so gorgeous when he's sleeping, it's patently unfair to the rest of the regular old normal-looking humans on the planet. He has unfairly long, dark eyelashes that Hinata admires for a moment. His face is relaxed, and the familiar tension in his jaw is gone, but there's still a tiny wrinkle between his eyebrows as if the frown he wears while awake can't be entirely erased by sleep.

Hinata considers waking Kageyama up. He's horny as fuck, but knowing how stressed and tired Kageyama has been, and looking at him sleeping so peacefully, he can't bring himself to disturb the alpha. Instead, he snuggles against Kageyama's side, resting his cheek on his bent arm and tossing one leg over the back of Kageyama's thighs. He gently brushes the choppy black bangs from Kageyama's forehead and smiles as the alpha's lips turn down into a frown.

As he watches Kageyama sleep, he thanks the universe for the hundredth time for putting the two of them in each other's orbit. He feels incredibly lucky to have found this amazing man, this steady, caring, kind alpha to care for him and his pup.

Sixteen months ago, he'd been in an abusive relationship, miserable and pregnant and terrified, with little hope for his or his pup's future. But now, he's got everything he wanted, or at least everything he needs in life, with his alpha and their daughter.

Hinata can't help but whisper into the darkness. He knows he could say these things to Kageyama, and he will at some point. But right now he feels compelled to express them out loud, to maybe tell the universe what he's feeling when silently thinking it doesn't seem sufficient.

Maybe Kageyama's subconscious will hear his words, believe them wholly and truly.

"Tobio, I can't believe I'm here with you like this. That you want me too, like I wanted you for so long. I'm not sure you understand what having you in my life means to me, that you really know everything you've given me. A home, a job doing what I love, a family that I adore. You gave me confidence and healing and peace of mind, a sense of belonging, a reason to get up in the morning and to chase my dreams. You gave me hope for the future. And happiness. So much happiness. I love you so much, Tobi. I can't wait to spend forever with you."

He turns his face and presses a kiss on Kageyama's arm. The alpha hasn't moved and still breathes steadily and evenly.

Hinata tosses his arm over Kageyama's back and lets his eyes close, warm and content.

 

++++

 

The new year arrives and along with the normal celebrations comes the onset of Hinata's next heat. The couple is snuggling on the sofa watching a baking show after the baby has been put to bed. Hinata is, as usual, commenting on the decisions made by the bakers. He notices Kageyama repeatedly burying his face in his neck, not that he minds. He rather likes it when the alpha gets clingy.

"You smell so good," Kageyama murmurs against Hinata's neck. He licks over Hinata's scent glands, sending a chill down Hinata's spine. Hinata purrs with satisfaction. "I think you're in pre-heat," Kageyama adds, now kissing the sensitive skin under Hinata's ear.

"Am I?" Hinata asks, trying to think clearly enough to calculate the date and remember his last heat. "Yeah, I guess so."

Kageyama is now nipping at his earlobe, driving Hinata to distraction. "I'll call Miwa and have her pick up the baby."

"Mmm, okay," Hinata agrees before turning his head so that they can kiss.

The next day, they make plans for Miwa to keep Suki again for a few days. Miwa seems ecstatic every time one of them has a heat or rut, and Hinata has the sense that she wishes it would happen weekly so she could steal Suki from them and raise her as her own. In a completely good way, of course.

That evening after Miwa picks Suki up, Hinata readies his nest, while Kageyama stocks up on food and water and condoms. They cuddle in Hinata's nest, both naked since Hinata decided to skip the boxers.

Hinata wakes in the middle of the night, burning with fever. His body is covered with a sheen of sweat, and his stomach is cramping horribly. By the soft light they kept on, he can see Kageyama on his side beside him, snoring lightly. This time, he has no sense or patience to examine the alpha's beautiful sleeping face.

"Tobio, wake up baby. I need you. Need your knot. Please." His voice sounds whiny and desperate, as he starts to grind against Kageyama's leg and lick his neck. Kageyama wakes quickly.

"Okay, I'm awake. I got you, baby," Kageyama promises as he rolls Hinata onto his back and licks into his mouth in a dirty display of dominance. His hand snakes down to Hinata's already leaking hole, and he presses inside easily while he licks into Hinata's mouth. Within a minute or so, Hinata is a bucking, moaning mess, and Kageyama wastes no time working up to three figures as Hinata desperately presses against his hand. The alpha expertly locates his prostate and responds appropriately to every twitch and moan as if he can interpret the grunts as directions. As if he can read Hinata's mind.  

Kageyama quickly slips on a condom and fucks him hard and fast, just like Hinata likes and needs during his heat. When he feels Kageyama's knot pop, Hinata comes with a rush, his vision going black before a kaleidoscope of colors dances behind his eyelids. They lay sweaty and breathing heavily for a moment before Kageyama rolls them to relieve Hinata of bearing his weight.

It takes Hinata a few long, languishing moments to return to this plane of existence. As his brain comes back online, it occurs to him to wonder how Kageyama knows exactly where to touch him, how the alpha can read his gasps and slight involuntary twitches like a book and knows just how to adjust his movements as if Hinata had asked for it out loud, like some fucking guess monster.

Fucking hell. Four months ago Kageyama was a virgin, and now he's an expert in sex? Or just in Hinata's body? Is sex for them like their professional life, where they just get each other, know instinctively what the other is thinking, can read each other and know what the other wants and needs without words?

"God, Tobio, you take such good care of me," Hinata mumbles lamely since he is too cum-drunk to articulate all those thoughts right now.

"I'll always take care of you, Sho," Kageyama responds gently. Hinata pries his eyes open, and Kageyama pins him with a pointed, serious look that shows Hinata he means it in every sense of the word.

"I know you will, baby. Thank you."

They lie there silently for several minutes while joined intimately. Hinata's eyes are closed, and Kageyama draws light, soft circles on his back.

"Hey, Tobio? How long do you think till our heat and rut sync up?" Hinata wonders out loud. He wants that to happen so badly. Alpha-omega couples mate during their joint heat-rut due to the pain of the mating bites being dulled by the effects of their cycles. So counting down to that synchronization means counting down to claiming Kageyama as his mate.

"Well," Kageyama answers, "Almost all alpha-omega couples who only have sex with each other have their cycles sync within one year. So I guess by next September? What's that? Nine months from now?"

"Yeah," Hinata sighs. "Nine months. That's too long."

"It will be worth the wait, baby. We have our whole lives," Kageyama assures him, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

The words melt over Hinata, and he feels a warmth that has nothing to do with his heat. He smiles against Kageyama's chest.

"Yeah, our whole lives."

///

Notes:

A/N: I'm still editing Mine To Protect and will be releasing a paperback and a Kindle book. Edits are going slow, and getting feedback from others takes forever. It's really frustrating, and honestly, I'm not feeling very supported by my family and friends. May will be the earliest release at this point. I'm just going to keep chugging along.

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I'm trying to make the move off the Nazi's site, but I'm scared people won't be able to find me. I'm on the following alternatives:
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Chapter 27: Forever

Summary:

Suki's first birthday and an unexpected development

As the cold winds of January give way to the warm breezes of spring, Kageyama's day-to-day life is satisfying, both at the bakery and at home.

Business is good, and much of that is due to Hinata's influence, pushing him to create new recipes, to step up his game over and over again. Hinata is becoming quite the pastry chef himself, and he comes up with crazy ideas for new treats that the two collaborate on and ultimately bring to life.

He and Hinata are ultimate partners, he supposes, as if the universe conspired to bring them together to make each other better, to complete each other.

As if fulfilling a promise.

Many days as he works with the dough and the pans and the ovens, he remembers his grandfather fondly. Good memories of their time in this kitchen seem to come to him more often, and he can smile now and not feel the heavy sadness that weighed him down before Hinata came into his life.

At home, his boyfriend and his daughter are the light of his life, his reason for living, for getting up every day. He loves taking care of them, seeing them healthy and happy. He loves the life he and Hinata have made, the family they've created.

Nowadays, Kageyama feels a serenity he hasn't felt since his parents were tragically taken from him all those years ago. He will never forget them, will never truly heal from the trauma, but he's happy that he's been able to make something of his life, to create a happy family like his parents had before it was all shattered.

Hinata's scent is constantly on his mind now, as he uses it to gauge his boyfriend's mood and to take care of any stress or problems the omega has. Most times, Hinata's cinnamon sugar scent is sweet and clear, and Kageyama feels content that his omega is happy and satisfied. He is quick to sense when Hinata's scent sours, indicating anxiety or worry. It's not often, but sometimes an issue at work or a cough or sneeze from Suki will throw him off. At those times, Kageyama loves holding and scenting his omega, assuring him things will be okay, sensing Hinata's heart slowing and his scent clearing.

But nothing compares to the change in Hinata's scent when he's horny, and god, his omega is ridiculously easy to bait. Kageyama has realized he can tease his boyfriend just by walking shirtless into the kitchen to the laundry area to get a clean shirt. He smirks to himself as he sees Hinata's jaw drop and his eyes rake over Kageyama's naked torso. When he returns to the kitchen a moment later, Hinata practically jumps him. Kageyama has also found that coming out of the bathroom in a towel is another sure way to entice his boyfriend, as is reaching up to a high shelf so that his stomach is revealed under the hem of his shirt, or strutting around the bedroom shamelessly naked while his sleepy omega lies in bed a few feet away.

Yep, Hinata is just too easy.

And Kageyama loves it, loves feeling so wanted, so desired. He's addicted to the sensation, to the need he can sense pulsing from his omega.

Hinata is addictive, and Kageyama doesn't think he will ever get enough, not while he still breathes.

He's looking forward to the time when they can mate, and thinks about it often, especially when his eyes land on Hinata's scent gland on his neck. The alpha in him longs to sink his teeth in, to lay claim, to let everyone know this omega is his and his alone. But waiting for their cycles to sync is grating on him.

It's been seven months since they’ve been with each other exclusively. In theory, their cycles should sync within five months, which he realizes isn't that long. But when Kageyama sees some alpha raking their eyes over Hinata's unmarked scent gland, he feels a little unhinged. He needs to put his mark there soon.

His rut arrives on time on the first of April, and Miwa takes Suki for them. It's an amazing feeling to have Hinata there to help him through it, and he hadn't known what he'd been missing before. It satisfies his alpha so much more to have an omega to fuck, even if he knows logically that that omega will not get pregnant. But alphas are dumb, so he spends most of those three days with "knot, breed, pups" on repeat in his stupid, wolf brain.

In the middle of April, about three weeks before her first birthday, Suki is playing with some toys on the living room floor. She's been crawling for a few months now, and she's so fast that Kageyama sits on the floor with her to make sure she doesn't get into anything harmful. They've babyproofed the apartment so there are plugs in the electrical outlets and whatnot, but Suki sometimes tries to climb on things like bookshelves, and Kageyama is scared she'll fall or have the whole thing topple onto her.

Hinata is in the kitchen making pork curry, and Kageyama watches as Suki crawls to the coffee table and pulls herself up to standing. She's been doing that quite a bit, and grins like she's proud of herself.

"What are you doing, princess? Are you standing up like a big girl?"

"Dada, dada, dada," Suki says, flashing her four little teeth, two up and two down.

Kageyama grins, as he always does when she says that word. He can't believe how much he adores this tiny human. The love he feels for her sometimes overwhelms him to the point of stealing the breath from his lungs.

"Yeah, that's right, I'm your dada."

She turns toward him, still grinning, and lets go of the table. Kageyama watches in stunned silence as she sways a little on her chunky, unsteady legs, and takes two, then three, timid, wobbly steps toward him.

Finally finding his voice, he whisper-shouts to the kitchen, "Sho! Come here, now!"

Kageyama sees Hinata step into the room out of the corner of his eye, but he dares not look away from his daughter as she steadies herself, then takes two more teetery steps toward him. He hears Hinata gasp as he holds out his arms.

"That's it, Suki! Come on, come to Dada. You can do it!"

She's still grinning and manages another shaky step before falling forward and catching herself with her hands. She manages to stand upright again, then takes another step toward him before collapsing again. She seems to give up, so he lurches forward and gathers her in his arms.

"Suki, you did it! You walked like a big girl!" Kageyama rolls onto his back with her on his tummy, pressing soft kisses all over her rosy cheeks. She squeals with delight.

Hinata is on the floor with them now, throwing his arm over Suki and kissing the soft ginger fuzz on her head. He adds his own praise to Kageyama's. "Suki, you walked! What a big girl! I'm so proud of you!"

They lie there in a family heap, talking nonsense and praising, kissing and giggling at their daughter's achievement. Kageyama's heart is so full of pride, he imagines it swelling until it bursts out of his chest. He briefly pictures the Grinch's heart growing three sizes and thinks he knows what that feels like.

It's such a small thing, really. It's something all children learn to do, but this is his daughter, his pup, making it feel momentous.

How? How did he get so lucky?

Kageyama doesn't realize he's crying until Hinata leans over, wipes a tear away and kisses his cheek. "Sappy-Yama," Hinata whispers, but his eyes are so fond, so filled with love and adoration, that Kageyama is truly afraid his heart might explode. When the omega's happy scent washes over him, he thinks to himself he has everything he needs right here, right in his arms right now.

He doesn't know how, doesn't know why, but he won't question his good fortune. He only vows to enjoy it.

 

++++

 

They throw a party for Suki's first birthday. They close the bakery for the day to accommodate the crowd. Hinata's family drives from Miyagi, and Kageyama's jaw drops at the sheer number of presents they carry in for his daughter. He briefly thinks they are going to need a bigger place for all those toys.

Miwa is there as well, fawning over her niece and promising the now toddler that she is going to be the best, coolest aunt ever, and if her parents are ever mean to her, just call Auntie Miwa. Kageyama is equal parts annoyed and amused.

Yachi has come as well, along with Suga and his family and Kiyoko and hers. The four children under age five create a bit of havoc, but everyone is happy and relaxed.

The bakery is decorated with train images in primary colors, and the cake Kageyama made has blue frosting with a red train design. Hinata helps Suki open presents while everyone talks and chats and takes pictures of the little girl with her tiny copper pigtails and her rosy, pink cheeks.

Kageyama takes hundreds of pictures.

When it's time for cake, they sing happy birthday while Suki scowls at them, not understanding what is happening. Hinata jokes that she looks like Kageyama with the frown on her face.

They finally serve the birthday girl cake with blue frosting. She stares at it, confused, until Hinata dips his fingers in the frosting and touches it to her mouth. She tentatively takes a small taste, and then her eyes light up, probably because they've never served her such concentrated sugar before.

Everyone laughs as she dives in to feed herself, squishing the cake and covering her hands with frosting and cake debris. Everyone else is served cake as well, and they eat and drink and enjoy each other's company for a while.

When all is said and done, Suki has demolished the cake, either by eating it or spilling it. Crumbs are all over the floor and table, and poor Suki looks like a Smurf in a sugar coma.

They see their guests out, and Hinata brings the sleepy, sugar-crashed child to bathe her while Kageyama cleans up the mess in the bakery. By the time the child no longer looks like a character from the Avatar movie and is asleep from her busy day, Kageyama collapses on the sofa, more tired than if he worked a twelve-hour day.

Hinata comes out of Suki's room, quietly closes the door, and plops down next to Kageyama, who immediately grabs his hand. Hinata squeezes it and comments, "I'm exhausted."

"Me too."

"It was a good party, don't you think?"

"Yeah. I think your parents cleaned out the shelves at Toys R Us."

Hinata chuckles. "They did go a bit overboard."

Kageyama smiles at the memory of how happy all the Hinatas looked, and he's grateful that his boyfriend was able to mend the relationship with his family.

"Well, I'm beat. Let's head to bed."

"Wait," Kageyama says, "I have a present for you."

Hinata's gaze snaps to his. "For me? It's not my birthday."

"I know that, dumbass. But I have to give it to you tonight, to celebrate Suki being with us a year."

Hinata cocks his head to the side. "Okay. What is it?"

Kageyama pulls a leather bound book out of the drawer of the end table and hands it to Hinata. Hinata's eyebrows draw together. "That's your journal."

"Well, yeah, but… but I started this the day Suki was born. Every day, I wrote about her, or sometimes us. I wrote down everything she did, when she smiled for the first time, when she learned to roll over or crawl, when she got teeth. It's all there. I know it's not a traditional baby book like my parents had for me and Miwa, but…"

Hinata's eyes are doing that sparkly thing again, and Kageyama pauses, not knowing what else to say. Hinata takes the book in his trembling hands and opens to the first page, dated exactly one year ago.

"Natsuki was born today. Hinata had a hard time, but he was so brave. I wanted to take away his pain, but I couldn't. It was awful to watch. But then, when they handed her to him, I felt such love for this tiny pup and for her mother. I loved Suki from the moment she took her first breath. She's beautiful and perfect, just like her mama. I wish they were both mine, but even if Hinata never loves me the way I love him, I promise I will protect him and the baby. They are part of my pack, and I willl take care of them for as long as I am able, as long as they let me."

Hinata's eyes are shiny with tears, and wet trails meander down his face. "Really? You really promised this that day? You… you loved me that much even then?"

Kageyama nods as he brushes a tear from Hinata's cheek. "Yeah."

Hinata looks gobsmacked, but the sweetening of his scent is all Kageyama needs to know his boyfriend is greatly pleased. The omega gazes back at the book, thumbing through the pages filled with Kageyama's sloppy handwriting. Some pages have little sketches on them, of Suki with her hair in pigtails for the first time, a crude drawing of her with a tooth or crawling. Hinata stops sometimes to read the words, to run his finger reverently over the drawings or to just look at Kageyama as if he hung the moon.

"This…" Hinata begins and then stops to clear his throat. "This is the most precious gift I have ever received, Tobio. I will treasure it always. Thank you."

Hinata leans over and presses his lips to Kageyama. There's no intention beyond a show of love and gratitude, just a soft kiss, a promise, a thank you. Kageyama pulls the omega into his arms, inhaling his scent, and thanking the universe again for bringing this man to him.

 

++++

 

In the last few days of May, Hinata enters pre-heat. He's alright for a couple of days, just more moody and anxious than normal, but mid-morning of the third day, Kageyama can tell he's close to full heat. His scent is becoming more saccharine, he looks tired, and his skin is pink with warmth.

"Go upstairs and get your nest ready. Just text when it starts for real. I'll make sure Miwa gets Suki and that Yachi closes up for us."

Hinata mumbles his agreement and shuffles up the stairs. Hinata only sleeps in his bedroom (nest) during his heats now, and they readied the room last night with food and drinks and nesting materials. So he should be fine for a while. Kageyama needs to finish some things in preparation for being away from the bakery for a few days, so he's pretty busy and distracted until he gets a text from Hinata mid-afternoon.

It just says, "now".

Kageyama tells Yachi he's leaving and verifies she's got everything under control, sends a quick text to Miwa to remind her to get Suki, then heads up the stairs to their apartment. He hurries to Hinata's bedroom, knocking as he opens the door.

He's assaulted by two things simultaneously: the glorious sigh of Hinata in his nest, naked and covered in sweat with his hand around his cock; and the overpowering scent of the omega, so strong and familiar, but so much more potent than normal.

Kageyama feels a growl rise in the back of his throat before he hears it escape. He sees Hinata's eyes go wide, but all he can think of is breeding his omega. He strips off his clothes in a heartbeat and pounces on Hinata.

"Tobio, what… what's going on?"

"Gonna knot you, breed you, omega. Right now," Kageyama hears himself say without deciding to speak.

"Tobi, what's happening? Are you… oh god, are you in rut?"

Kageyama hears the words, but it's too hard to think with the swooshing in his head and the relentless voice telling him over and over to breed.

He runs on instinct alone, flipping Hinata onto his stomach, drawing him up to his knees, and pushing inside, aided by slick.

Hinata moans lewdly, "Oh, god, Tobi, so good. Please don't stop. Need you so bad."

Kageyama grunts like an animal as he fucks Hinata hard and fast. His ears buzz with words on repeat.

Knot. Breed. Pups.

Hinata is moaning every time Kageyama bottoms out. Kageyama can hear his omega's sounds of pleasure, but they are only peripheral to his goal: to breed. His fingers dig into the meat of Hinata's hips, holding him firmly and controlling his movements. He's intent on his own release, determined to fill his omega with his seed, to knot him and keep him on his knot long enough for the omega to catch his pups.

It's not long before his knot starts to inflate and to catch on Hinata's rim with every pass. "Yes," his alpha growls with satisfaction. "Gonna breed you, fill you so full of my cum, fuck a pup into you."

"Tobio, Tobi," he hears Hinata's voice pierce through the rushing river in his ears.

Kageyama finally hurtles over the edge, popping his knot and forcing it inside. He hears Hinata cry out from maybe pain, maybe pleasure, but he's too cum-drunk to determine the difference. He lets out a long, growly moan, and then finally collapses on top of the omega, who grunts softly under his weight.

Kageyama's mind is foggy, and his thoughts are scattered, but he hears Hinata's muffled words, "You're too heavy," and rolls onto his side, bringing the omega with him and engulfing him in his arms. The buzzing still fills his head but fades little by little. As his heartbeat slows, his brain sputters back to life.

What the fuck?

"Tobio? You okay?" Hinata asks softly.

Kageyama blinks his eyes open, trying to get his bearings. He's in Hinata's nest, and Hinata smells amazing. He must have just fucked his omega because Hinata's knotted, but he hardly remembers anything except the feral instinct to breed.

Oh, fuck.

"Yeah," Kageyama rasps out.

"Are you in rut?" Hinata asks. His voice sounds small, unsure, and maybe hopeful.

"Yes, I think so," Kageyama admits. "I mean, yeah. I am."

Hinata is quiet for a few heartbeats as they both try to process the events.

"You just had a rut a couple of months ago."

"I know. I guess we've synced."

He hears Hinata suck in a swift breath and pulls the omega closer. Hinata peeks over his shoulder, and his wonder shines in his honey eyes.

"So we can mate now?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

Hinata's smile widens a little at a time, as if he's letting the knowledge sink in slowly. "Are you sure?"

"What kind of question is that, dumbass? Of course I'm sure."

Hinata's smile is blinding now, and Kageyama kisses his stupid lips.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am, you big, dumb alpha."

"Hey, that's no way to speak to your future mate."

Hinata giggles, and joy bubbles up in Kageyama's chest. They lie there in each other's arms waiting for Kageyama's knot to go down. Hinata is unusually quiet.

"Are you okay? You're not talking."

"It's just feels weird, don't you think? Like, we've talked about this so long, and now we're going to do it. Like, soon."

"I don't think it feels weird. I think it feels right."

Hinata swivels his head back again and reaches a hand back to tug Kageyama's head toward him. He kisses him thoroughly, and when he pulls away, he's smiling.

Kageyama's knot goes down, and they quickly clean up a bit and drink some water, but soon they are both heating up again, their bodies begging for release. After giving Hinata a sloppy blow job, Kageyama presses him back on the mattress, hooks his knees under his elbows, and slides in with little resistance. Hinata's moan of pleasure sends a spark of excitement up his spine.

He's got pups and knots on his mind, yes, but now he's more focused on the gland on Hinata's neck, the one he's about to sink his canines into. He presses his face to the skin there and licks and sucks, the sweet taste of cinnamon dancing on his tongue, making him thrust harder, faster, more desperately.

Hinata's hands are all over him, running through his hair, over his back and shoulders, "Tobio, Tobio," Hinata chants. "Need you. Want you. So bad." Hinata's face is buried in Kageyama's neck now as well, mouthing over his scent gland, making him harder and more desperate than he's ever been. He's so close to sinking his teeth in, to making this omega his mate, for now and forever.

His knot begins to swell, and the time is near. He knows Hinata senses it as well as he squirms under him, so he releases his legs. Hinata immediately wraps them around his waist, urging him closer until their bodies are tangled and touching at every possible juncture so that it's impossible to tell where one of them ends and the other begins. The scents of cinnamon and coffee and sex hang heavy in the air, filling Kageyama's lungs, making him and his alpha desperate to mate, to finally claim what is his.

"Gonna breed you good," he mumbles against Hinata's skin.

"Yes, yes, do it," Hinata murmurs, drunk on pleasure.

Kageyama sucks again on Hinata's scent gland, and the cinnamon coats his tongue, fills his nostrils, seems to seep into his pores. Hinata is doing the same to the scent gland on his neck, and it's finally too much. He grinds his hips deep, so deep, and his knot pops. The waves of pleasure wash over him, flowing through his body, and he hears Hinata's moan as wet, hot cum gathers between them.

"You're sure?" he asks one more time, articulating the only coherent thought in his head.

"Yes!" Hinata hisses.

Kageyama licks one more time over the tender flesh with his tongue, then presses his teeth down hard enough to break the skin. Hinata cries out, but it sounds more like pleasure than pain. Kageyama sucks away the blood, as he feels Hinata's teeth on his own scent gland. He braces for the shock of pain, but it's only slight when it comes, but the satisfaction and the pleasure overwhelm the pain one hundred times over.

They are mated.

He kisses and nips at Hinata's neck, still floating from the endorphins of his orgasm, now mixed in with pheromones and whatever oxytocin and shit just released when they mated. Whatever that was, he was drunk on it.

Or maybe he was just drunk on Hinata.

His omega – his mate – is moaning softly and purring. His alpha puffs up with pride.

Mine.

"Tobio," Hinata whispers softly.

"Yeah?"

"We're mated." His voice hitches at the end.

"Yeah, I know," Kageyama says softly, lifting his head to look into his mate's amber eyes. He watches a tear slip down Hinata's cheek. "Are you okay? Why are you crying?"

Kageyama's momentary panic subsides when Hinata pulls him close and kisses him firmly.

"Because I'm happy, you dumb alpha."

Kageyama can't even be mad at the insult.

"I can tell you now, out loud, in the open. I don't have to whisper in the dark anymore. That I love you so much, that you mean everything to me, that I am so thankful that I found you, for how good you are to Suki, for how…"

Hinata's voice cracks and he hiccups. Kageyama presses soft kisses to his eyes, his cheeks, his nose.

"Who's sappy now?" Kageyama can't help but tease.

He feels rather than hears Hinata's chest rumble with laughter.

"I love you, Sho. So much. I'm so happy you're mine, and that everyone will know you are."

Hinata's smile is that soft, adoring one that always makes Kageyama's heart flip-flop. "Kageyama Tobio, you are the best man I know. I'm proud to call you my mate."

It's Kageyama's turn to choke up a little. He kisses his mate again, softly and reverently, hoping his actions will convey all the things in his heart that his dumb brain can't articulate. They kiss lazily for a moment, but as euphoria of mating wears off, Kageyama has a horrible realization.

His blood runs cold, and he freezes.

Hinata looks up, alarmed. "Tobio? What's wrong?"

"I… I forgot to use a condom."

They stare at each other in stunned silence as the seconds tick by. Kageyama feels his heartbeat race. He hadn't meant to do it, he'd just  been so wrapped up in his hormones, so blinded by his alpha's urge to breed, that he just forgot.

"Sho, I'm so sorry. I just…"

"It's fine. I'm on birth control."

Kageyama feels relieved, but only for a moment until he remembers. "Weren't you on birth control when you got pregnant with Suki?"

"Y-yes."

"Did you use a condom then?"

Hinata grows silent. "No. I got pregnant when we didn't use a condom."

"Sho, I'm so sorry. I lost my mind. I wasn't thinking."

"It's fine," Hinata says with a nervous laugh. "I mean, what are the chances of the birth control not working twice?"

Kageyama hugs his mate close, letting out calming pheromones. They have of course talked about having pups, and Kageyama truly would love nothing more than to see Hinata round with his child. But only when Hinata is ready.

"I'm really sorry, Sho."

There's something in Hinata's voice when he answers. "It's fine. I mean, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, right?"

Kageyama leans back to look into Hinata's big, golden-brown eyes. They are doing that sparkly thing again, and Kageyama's heart stutters.

"It wouldn't be, no," he agrees.

"Would you… would you be happy if I was? Pregnant, I mean?"

"Yes," Kageyama answers immediately. "But only if you were."

Hinata's smile is soft and gentle. "Then let's not worry about it."

Kageyama's lips tick up on one side. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He leans down to kiss Hinata, his mate, then scents him thoroughly until Hinata purrs with contentment.

"I love you, Tobio. I'm so happy right now."

"Me too," Kageyama whispers as he snuggles his face into Hinata's neck. "So happy."

 

///

Notes:

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I'm STILL editing Mine To Protect and will likely still be when I'm 100. I'm working with an amazing editor and am on my 5th (!!) version. Probably an August release at the earliest. I'm just going to keep chugging along and trying to keep my anxiety at bay. Still not talking to my family about this stuff, which sucks, but at least I'm used to it by now. :/

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Chapter 28: Lucky

Summary:

No matter what happens, kagehina realize how lucky they are to have found each other

Notes:

Sorry for the delay in posting. I started a new job and it's kicking my butt. :(

When Hinata wakes in the morning, he draws in a deep breath and opens his eyes.

"Gah!!!" he squawks when he sees Kageyama's face hovering a foot above his.

"Shhh, dumbass. You'll wake the baby," Kageyama chastises, as if Hinata is the one who did something wrong.

Hinata is not happy. "Tobio, why the fuck are you staring at me while I'm sleeping?"

"I think you're pregnant."

"What?" Hinata stutters. This is way too intense for only having been awake for seventeen seconds.

"You smell different. I think you're pregnant." Hinata's brain slowly chugs into gear. It has been two weeks since his heat, so the timing works out.

Frowning, he pulls his wrist to his nose and sniffs at his scent gland. "I don't smell a difference."

"I do. It's sweeter, more sugary. I'm pretty sure you're pregnant."

Still fumbling for logic, Hinata remembers they are mates now and that alphas can detect even the tiniest shifts in their omega's scent. God, this is too much thinking for only being awake for thirty-three seconds.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, pretty sure. Listen, Shoyo, I'm sorry. This is my fault. I didn't mean for this to happen. I mean, I WANTED to knock you up, but only because of my rut. I didn't really want this if you didn't…"

Hinata lifts his hand and gently presses his index finger to Kageyama's lips. "Tobio, shhh. It's okay. Let's check first before we get ahead of ourselves."

Kageyama frowns his guilty frown, and Hinata reaches up to smooth the crease between his eyebrows with his thumb. Kageyama's face softens, but only a little. "Do you want me to run to the drug store and get a pregnancy test?"

"Would you mind?"

"Of course not." Kageyama kisses Hinata's nose before he climbs out of bed. As he dresses, Hinata's eyes rake over the muscles of his back and legs, stopping to admire his perfect, round butt. Damn, his alpha is gorgeous.

"I should be back before Suki wakes up," Kageyama tells him.

Hinata nods in agreement, and when he's alone, stares at the ceiling, lost in thought. He decides he won't worry until he knows for sure, but his gut is telling him Kageyama is right.

He considers what it would be like if they did have another pup and decides it really wouldn't be that awful. They're mates now, and the bakery is doing really well. They have the money to support another child, and while the apartment is a little small, they barely use the bedroom that used to be Hinata's.

They could do it if they had to.

But does he want to?

Hinata shifts to his side and imagines a tiny pup with Kageyama's inky hair and striking blue eyes. A boy, maybe.

When he realizes he's smiling, he has his answer.

When Kageyama returns, Hinata rolls from the bed and takes the pregnancy test. He and Kageyama both fidget anxiously in the en suite bathroom as they wait for the results. Hinata is trying to keep his feelings neutral, but now that he's considered what it would be like to have Kageyama's pup, he's afraid he will be disappointed if the test is negative.

He studies Kageyama's face to gauge his alpha's state of mind, and Kageyama's face shows his worry.

Hinata lays his hand over his mate's and squeezes it gently. "Hey, Tobi, no matter what, it's going to be fine."

Kageyama's deep blue eyes are swimming with sadness and regret. "I should have used a condom, Sho. It's my fault if it's positive."

"We were both in that room. It was both of our responsibilities."

"No. You were in heat, you weren't thinking straight."

"And you were in rut! Tobio, I'm not angry. I'm not upset. I think… I think I want it to be positive."

Kageyama's eyes bore into his, and Hinata sees the surprise, the doubt, and finally the acceptance. "Do you mean it?" Kageyama asks hopefully.

"Yeah. I think I'd like a pup that looks like you," Hinata answers honestly.

"But we just mated. And Suki is only thirteen months old."

"I know. But I did the calculations, and the pups will be about two years apart. That's not uncommon."

"Are you sure you're ready to go through it again, though? I mean, it was pretty rough on your body."

Hinata considers the strain on his body from his first pregnancy, the aches in his back, hips and knees, the constant pressure on his bladder, and the horrific pain of labor. But then he pictures Suki's sweet newborn face and remembers the tidal wave of love when he first held her in his arms.

It was all worth it.

"It was hard, but I will do it again. I want to. I told you, you dummy, I want two or three kids, so eventually this was going to happen."

"Are you sure, Sho?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Hinata melts into Kageyama's arms in the small bathroom, and his alpha holds him for a few minutes until the timer dings. Hinata looks up and sees Kageyama's doubt resurface. He cups both hands around his mate's face and reaches up on his tiptoes to kiss his lips.

"Ready?"

"Yeah. I guess."

They both turn to look at the test result.

 

++++

 

By the time his birthday comes a week later, Hinata is vomiting every day. Kageyama had planned a party for him, but Hinata is too sick, and they have to cancel.

"I'm sorry, Tobio. I know you worked hard to arrange this, but I feel awful. I just want to stay here with you and Suki."

"It's okay. I understand. We'll just relax."

"Right. As I run to the bathroom every hour," Hinata grouses.

Kageyama's face droops, and he approaches their bed where Hinata is propped up with several pillows. "I'm sorry, Sho. I wish I could do something to make it better." He sits down and draws Hinata into a hug.

"I know. Thanks," Hinata mumbles into his alpha's shoulder.

"Let me just get Yachi and the new guy situated downstairs, and I'll be back, okay?"

"Okay."

The next week passes in a blur. Hinata vomits a few times each morning, then lies in bed, drifting in and out of sleep until afternoon. The morning sickness is better later in the day, but it never really goes away, not completely. He feels nauseated 24/7, and it sucks so bad that the tears come almost as often as the trips to the bathroom.

Sometimes in the evening, he can keep down rice, crackers, or bread, but he doesn't eat much because it makes him feel worse. Kageyama reminds him he has to eat to nourish the baby, but Hinata can't force himself to chew and swallow food a lot of the time.

He is bitter over the situation. He was never this sick with Suki.

He is losing weight and looking pale. He has dark circles under his eyes. He can't stand his reflection in the mirror, so he stops looking. He hasn't been able to work, which makes him feel guilty and antsy. He misses baking, but Kageyama insists they have things under control and that Hinata only needs to focus on himself right now.

At the end of June, when Hinata is eight weeks pregnant, they have their first doctor's appointment. Hinata squirms nervously on the exam table as Kageyama stands by, holding his hand, his face pinched with worry.

Dr. Matsumoto, the same doctor who delivered Suki, enters the exam room and greets them. "Hello, Hinata-san. It's good to see you again. I understand you're pregnant again. Congratulations! How are you feeling?"

"Not too well. I've been really sick this time, vomiting every day, and losing weight."

The doctor frowns slightly and checks his chart. "Yes, I see that. I'm sorry. I'll give you some tips for the nausea before you go. How many times are you vomiting each day?"

"Two or three times in the mornings."

"Does it get better in the afternoons?"

"Not really. I mean, I usually don't vomit, but I feel sick all day."

Dr. Matsumoto offers a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry to hear that. It does happen to some mothers. Are you able to keep any food down at all?"

"Yes, sometimes in the evenings."

"I want you to watch that very carefully. If you aren't able to get any nourishment, you need to call my office and come in, okay?"

"Okay."

"Let's take a look, shall we?" Dr. Matsumoto says, turning on the ultrasound machine.

"I… I didn't get an ultrasound this early with Suki. Do you think something's wrong?"

"No, but since you are feeling different, I want to take a look, just in case."

Hinata glances up to Kageyama, who squeezes his hand in silent reassurance.

The doctor squirts gel onto Hinata's stomach and places a wand over his belly. Soon, three sets of eyes are squinting at a grainy, black-and-white image. She moves the wand a little, then seems to focus on something.

"Oh, well," she says mysteriously, causing Hinata's heart to squeeze in his chest.

"What? Is something wrong? Is it bad?" he blurts as he feels Kageyama's hand squeeze his again. His mate's eyebrows are drawn together, and he's got his worried frown on.

"Oh, no. I'm sorry if I scared you. Everything's fine. Let me put it this way. This," she says, pointing to a white blob that looks like a kidney bean, "is your baby."

"Is he alright?"

"Yes. But also, this," she says, pointing to a similar white blob, "is your baby."

"Wait, what?" Hinata asks, his brain stuttering. He looks up at Kageyama, who is staring at the screen, eyes wide and mouth gaping.

"There are two babies, Hinata-san. Congratulations. You're having twins."

"Say what now?" Hinata says again. This can't be right. They were supposed to have one baby. When he or she was born, they were supposed to have two kids under two. This would make three kids. Three kids under two. That's not good. He can't do that. No, no, no, no, no.

He turns his face to his mate. "Tobio?" he says, pleading. He expects Kageyama's expression to mirror his own distress, but instead, Kageyama's face brightens with an uncharacteristic smile.

"Holy shit, Shoyo! We're having twins!"

"I don't understand," Hinata sputters, turning back to the doctor, hoping she'll tell him there's been some mistake. His brain can't seem to catch up.

"Twins are actually quite common for alpha-omega couples, the doctor says. They occur in almost twenty percent of naturally conceived pregnancies, compared to three percent of pregnancies in beta couples. That's probably why you are sicker this time as well. Twin pregnancies produce more HCG, the pregnancy hormone, than single pregnancies, and that contributes to nausea."

"Oh," Hinata says, still trying to process the news. He feels even more ill than he did before he came in. He can't handle two babies and a toddler at once. He just can't.

He looks at Kageyama, still shell-shocked, but his mate grabs his hand, kisses his forehead and assures him, "It'll be okay, Sho. We'll deal with it. I'll take care of you, whatever you need." Kageyama leans down to scent him, and soon his anxiety eases.

Until another thought occurs to him.

"But what about the apartment? It's so small…"

"We'll turn your bedroom into the nursery for the twins. It will be okay, babe. I'll make sure it's okay. And holy shit, Sho, two more pups!"

Kageyama's expression of joy is contagious, and Hinata's anxiety wanes. If Kageyama is this thrilled, it can't be a bad thing. Right?

"Don't worry, babe," Kageyama says softly, as he offers a small but genuine smile. "We can handle everything. As long as we're together, we're invincible."

 

++++

 

A week later, Hinata wakes to the sound of Suki crying in her crib. He blinks open his eyes to a dimly lit room and a bed missing his mate. Taking a moment to check in with his body, he realizes the nausea is still going strong, and he feels weak and drained, even after sleeping for ten hours. He's anxious to get up, though, not only to see his daughter and mate, but because his mother arrived late last night from Miyagi, and he is looking forward to spending the next week with her.

He drags himself from the bed, fighting the sloshing in his stomach as he stands. After using the bathroom and thankfully not vomiting this time, he finds Kageyama and Suki in the kitchen. She is chattering away in her highchair, banging her hands on the tray as Kageyama prepares her breakfast of gohan and tamagoyaki. Hinata places a kiss on her forehead as she says, "Mama."

"Good morning, my love," he says to Suki before cuddling up to Kageyama's back and wrapping his arms around his mate's stomach.

"Good morning. How are you feeling?"

"Same," Hinata mumbles into his back.

"Do you want something to eat?"

"Maybe just rice."

"Okay, sit down and I'll get it."

Hinata sits and talks softly to his daughter for a moment before it occurs to him. "Shouldn't you be downstairs? Who's watching the bakery?"

"It's fine. I went down early and got several batches done. Yachi is there, and so is Yamaguchi."

"Ah. How is he working out? I've hardly had a chance to talk to him." Hinata fights off the resentment he feels over being too sick to work. He's visited the bakery several times, but he doesn’t feel well enough to actually bake anything, and he's afraid of vomiting while he's there.

"He's doing well. He's got a few of the recipes down pretty well, and he and Yachi seem to get along."

"That's good."

Kageyama serves them breakfast, and Hinata forces down a few bites of rice while Suki makes a mess of her food. When they're done, they wipe rice and eggs from the child's face, hands and clothes, and then remove her from the highchair to clean it and the floor. Hinata wonders if a dog would be a good idea, so they don't have to sweep the kitchen three times a day.

After they have their daughter and the kitchen presentable, Kageyama settles Suki on the living room floor with some toys and situates Hinata on the sofa with his legs up. He prepares tea as Hinata watches Suki build a tower with blocks. Kageyama serves him ginger tea and some umeboshi, both good for nausea, and sits down beside him on the sofa to hold his hand and wipe his bangs from his forehead.

"I'm sorry I have to leave you for a while. If you need anything, just text, okay? I'll come right up."

"Okay," Hinata says, leaning into Kageyama's touch.

Kageyama studies his face, and Hinata is acutely aware of how pale and sickly he looks. "I wish I could do something. I wish I could go through this for you. I would, in a heartbeat."

Hinata's lip quirks up in a fond smile. "I know. Thank you."

Kageyama kisses him softly on the lips. "Remember, if you need anything at all, just text, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks."

As Kageyama stands, Hinata notices his mother watching them from the doorway, smiling softly. Kageyama says his goodbyes, and Mrs. Hinata sits on the floor next to Suki, greeting her granddaughter and son.

"How are you feeling, Shoyo?"

"Same. Nausea is pretty bad, but I'm hoping this ginger tea and umeboshi will help."

"Ah, yes. I survived on those when I was pregnant as well."

The shared information is such a small thing, but Hinata is suddenly overwhelmed with gratefulness for his mom's presence.

"Mom, I'm really glad you're here, and that I can talk to you about this stuff. I…" he pauses, feeling emotion choke his throat, "I really wanted you, wanted to talk to you and ask your advice when I was pregnant with Suki."

Her smile is warm and sad. "I know, sweetie. I wish things had been different then, too. But I'm here now, and for any other babies you have."

"Oh, god. I can't think about that now," Hinata groans.

Mrs. Hinata grins and seems to consider her next words. She hesitates slightly before continuing, "I… I admit I was a little surprised when you told me you were having another pup, pups, so soon…"

Hinata studies her face, looking for disappointment or judgment, but he sees only concern and curiosity.

"Honestly, Mom, we didn't plan it. I was in heat, and it triggered his rut, and you know how it is. We forgot a condom. I'm on birth control, or I was, but it doesn't seem to work for me. I was on birth control when I got pregnant with Suki, too."

His mother smiled sadly, "Well, I'm glad to know you were responsible."

"I was Mom, really. I tried to be, anyway."

"I believe you. Anyway, these babies are a blessing to all of us, right?"

Both sets of eyes swing to Suki, who is concentrating hard on making a stack of blocks.

"Absolutely," Hinata answers.

They both chuckle. For a while, they watch and interact with Suki before Mrs. Hinata asks, "So, Kageyama is attentive to you, it seems. I know you told me, but it's different seeing it."

Warmth floods Hinata's chest, and he knows his face looks goofy and smitten when he answers, "He is. He's the best alpha I've ever known. Kind, supportive, protective. I love him so much, Mom."

"I can tell, and it's clear he adores you as well. You're a wonderful couple, and you have your whole lives in front of you. I'm really happy that you've found your person, Shoyo."

"Yeah, me too. Thanks, Mom."

"You're very lucky, and so is he."

Mrs. Hinata reaches over and squeezes his hand, and in that moment, Hinata feels so thankful for her and for Kageyama and Suki, for everything he has, that tears prickle his eyes.

"Yeah, I know."

 

++++

 

A few weeks after his mom visits, Hinata jolts awake at four AM with an urgent need to throw up. He stumbles to the en suite bathroom and lifts the lid just in time for everything in his stomach to come back up. He is on his knees, choking and spitting, disgusted and anxious, when he feels a steady hand on his back.

"It's okay, I'm here. It's going to be okay."

The soft voice and the comfort of Kageyama's strong hand are enough to calm his anxiety. He spits a few more times, and when he thinks he's done, he rests back on his feet and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Magically, a wet washcloth appears, courtesy of Kageyama, and he wipes his mouth and then his face.

He's so fucking sick of vomiting, of feeling this nausea every minute of every day. He's twelve weeks along, and it should be starting to go away, but it's not. And then there's his belly, much too large for only being three months pregnant. Suddenly, it's all too much. He doesn't have the strength or the energy to do this. He just can't anymore.

A whine escapes his throat, but before his sobbing starts in earnest, he's pulled into Kageyama's arms. Wrapped in his mate's embrace, he lets it all out, bawling uncontrollably. All the while, Kageyama rubs his back and kisses his forehead and tells him it's alright, he's here, it's going to be okay, he's so sorry.

Eventually, Hinata's tears are spent, and his sobs turn to soft hiccups. There's a huge wet stain on the front of Kageyama's t-shirt from his tears. He's exhausted. And still nauseated.

"There, feel better?"

"A little," Hinata murmurs into Kageyama's chest.

"I'm so sorry, babe. I wish I could do something. I wish I could fix this for you."

"I know." The sweetness of his mate's words soothes over the rough edges of his emotions.

"Feel like you're ready to go back to bed?"

Hinata nods, and Kageyama escorts him back to their bed, wrapping him in his arms and rubbing his back until Hinata's exhaustion overcomes him.

When he wakes again, Kageyama is gone from the bed, but he can hear Suki and him in the kitchen. The bakery is closed today, so he gets to have his mate with him all day, and he feels relieved because he's feeling vulnerable and fragile and really needs his mate today.

It's a lazy day at home, but in the afternoon, they all need to get out of the tiny apartment. Kageyama suggests a walk to the park. It's a pleasant day in late August, and the temperatures have started to cool. Hinata feels like he can probably make the short walk, even with his ever-present nausea.

At the park, Hinata sits on a bench, tired from the walk, which is embarrassing for someone who used to be so active and in shape. Kageyama and Suki head to the playground, where the toddler goes down the slide all by herself. Kageyama is so proud of her, he scoops her up from the bottom and twirls her around. From this distance, Hinata can see his daughter's huge smile and hear her shrieks of delight.

God, he loves this man and this child more than he would have ever thought any human was capable of loving another.

It takes him a minute to realize tears are streaking down his face. Stupid hormones.

That evening after they put Suki down for the night, Hinata is fighting to stay awake on the sofa as one of their favorite baking shows plays on the TV. Kageyama is absently rubbing his feet, which feels divine. He is nodding off and is startled by Kageyama's voice asking him if he wants to go to bed.

The alpha escorts him to the bedroom, and after Hinata uses the en suite bathroom, Kageyama enters it and closes the door behind him. Hinata strips off his sweatpants and the t-shirt that Suki got food on at dinner and tosses them in the laundry hamper. In his cupcake boxers, he reaches into the dresser for one of Kageyama's t-shirts that easily fits over his growing belly. Before he can fully get it over his head, he hears his mate growl from across the room.

"God, Sho, you are so beautiful."

"Huh?" Hinata says, looking up to find his mate starry-eyed, which to him is ridiculous because he's too pale with dark circles under his eyes, and a belly that has no business being this big at only three months.

Kageyama comes and kneels in front of him, lifting up the shirt and placing tickly kisses on Hinata's belly.

"I can't decide what I like better – your naked stomach or it covered by one of my shirts."

"Tobio, what the hell?" Hinata says, even as his hands come to slide through Kageyama's silky locks.

More belly kisses are accompanied by Kageyama's hands grabbing his ass.

"Tobi?"

"You're so fucking sexy like this. I love that I fucked pups into you. I know you feel awful, but I can't help it. You are irresistible."

"What? I don't understand."

Kageyama stops kissing his belly and looks up with his big blue eyes. "Can I fuck you, Sho? I know you don't feel good, but you wouldn't have to do anything. I just need you, and I love you so much, and you're so fucking hot like this."

"I…"

"Please?"

Hinata considers his mate's offer. He hasn't gotten off in who knows how long since he's felt so terrible, and Kageyama said he wouldn't have to do anything…

"I don't have to do anything?"

"No. Nothing. I just need to be inside you. I want you so much. I love you so much…"

The alpha looks desperate, and Hinata takes pity on him. "Okay, but seriously, I'm not doing anything except laying there."

"Deal," Kageyama says, quickly getting to his knees and taking Hinata by the hand. He leads Hinata to the bed and gently kisses his neck, nipping at his scent gland before sliding the shirt up and over his head. Kageyama's coffee scent is strong and sharp, and Hinata inhales deeply, appreciating his mate's aroused scent after a long hiatus.

Kageyama runs his hands up Hinata's sides, then over his shoulders and down his arms, leaving a tingly trail in their wake. Hinata sighs softly, letting his mind relax and his body melt into the alpha's touch.

Kageyama's fingers hook into the waistband of Hinata's cupcake boxers and pull them down over his hips and off. He eases Hinata back and onto the bed and then straddles his legs. The look on his face is one of awe and adoration, and Hinata's heart flip-flops.

"God, you are so beautiful. So perfect," Kageyama whispers. "I love your belly, the evidence that you are carrying my pups. You are so sexy." Hinata blushes at the compliments, his body warming from the tips of his toes to his hairline, his nausea forgotten as he focuses on the blood whooshing through his veins.

The fact that his alpha wants him so desperately, treasures and loves him – it's overwhelming.

Kageyama leans down and presses their mouths together. Hinata sighs, letting the alpha control the pace, vowing to do nothing but accept what his mate wants to give him. The kiss is firm but slow. There's nothing urgent here, just the knowledge that they can enjoy each other's bodies and make each other feel good.

Kageyama trails his mouth across Hinata's jaw, over to his ear where he nibbles, then down his neck to his collarbone. Hinata feels goosebumps break out on his flesh, and breathes in deeply, letting his eyes flutter shut.

As Kageyama's lips move further south, Hinata sighs, and Kageyama chuckles. "Doing okay?"

"Mmm," Hinata hums in response.

"Good." Kageyama spends a moment littering kisses all over Hinata's stomach as he massages his hips.

"Do you really love my belly that much?"

"Yes," Kageyama insists. "I almost died the first time I saw your naked, pregnant belly. I'm so glad I get to touch it this time around. And all the other times in the future."

Hinata huffs, "One pregnancy at a time, okay alpha?"

"Hmph," Kageyama responds as he moves lower, pushing Hinata's legs apart so he can settle between them and plant kisses on his inner thighs. Hinata can feel his need growing as Kageyama's breath hovers near his dick and hole, and he lets out a soft moan when Kageyama makes no move to do anything more than nip at his thighs.

"Tobio, stop teasing," Hinata whines.

"You're such a needy omega," Kageyama teases, but there's no bite behind it. "What do you want?"

"Your mouth."

"Where?"

"You know where, you jerk."

"Here?" Kageyama asks before sucking down Hinata's dick.

"Oh, god," Hinata groans as he registers just how much he's missed this over the last couple of months. "Feels good, 'Yama."

His mate hums around his cock, shooting another jolt of desire up his spine. His hips twitch involuntarily, and he realizes he's not going to last long at all. His hands instinctively reach for Kageyama's hair and tangle through it, holding his alpha close, keeping him just where he needs him. It's only another minute before he's gripping Kageyama's hair tightly and canting his hips, and then his breath stutters as he slips over the edge.

Kageyama's mouth is locked on him, swallowing down his load, his fingers digging into the meat of his hips as he rides his high. God, that felt good. It had been too long.

 When Kageyama pops off, Hinata is still trembling from the aftershocks of his orgasm.

"Good?" Kageyama asks, and Hinata pries his eyes open to see his mate looking feral, his hair spiked and messy.

"Yes," he breathes out. "So good, baby."

"Good," Kageyama says as he stands and strips. Hinata's gaze hungrily takes in his mate's form, all hard muscles and sharp lines. His alpha is gorgeous, but he doesn't have time to dwell on aesthetics because Kageyama is settling between his legs again, lifting them up and spreading them, then lathing his tongue over his hole.

"Holy shit," Hinata exclaims, surprised by the onslaught of sensations when his nerve endings are still tingling from his orgasm.

His protests soon turn to moans as Kageyama's tongue probes and prods, and the wet heat is sublime. Hinata tangles his hands in the sheets and does nothing to stifle the lewd sounds that escape his throat. When Kageyama finally pulls his mouth away, he immediately shoves two fingers inside. The slide is easy with an abundance of Hinata's slick already dripping from his hole. Hinata shouldn't be surprised at how quickly Kageyama's capable fingers find his prostate and immediately start petting over it until Hinata is panting.

"Tobi, oh god. Yes, don't stop, right there. Please don't stop."

His mate complies until Hinata is a desperate, whiny mess. Kageyama then slides his hand out and gets to his knees before pulling Hinata closer and pushing his cock inside without preamble. Hinata is suddenly stretched full, and his guttural groan sounds pornographic as he hangs onto the sheets for purchase. Kageyama slides in and out, babbling to him the whole time about how good he feels, how he's so tight and so perfect, how he loves his body.

The words and the constant glide of Kageyama's cockhead over his prostate have him quickly racing towards the edge. He's lost now to everything around him, the nausea and exhaustion that have plagued him forgotten. The only thing Hinata can feel is the exquisite press inside his body, filling him up, taking him apart. He doesn't even need any stimulation to his dick this time. He comes with a shout as his alpha grunts and pours inside him. They both suck in deep breaths for a moment, their sweaty bodies glistening. Kageyama leans down, kisses him gently and murmurs a soft "I love you."

When he feels Kageyama slide out, he winces at the cum sliding from his hole, but then he feels a warm washcloth skim over his skin, treating him with reverence. Kageyama returns to the bed and lies beside him, gathering him to his side.

As Hinata's head rests on Kageyama's pec, he tangles his fingers in the alpha's chest hair and mumbles, "I love you so much, Tobi. I'm so lucky to have you."

"No," Kageyama insists as his arm tightens around Hinata's shoulders. "I'm the lucky one."

A smile turns up Hinata's lips. "Let's agree we're both lucky, okay?"

He feels Kageyama press a kiss to his sweaty forehead. "Okay, dumbass. Now get some rest."

Hinata murmurs his agreement, but he's sure his words are incoherent as he drifts off to sleep, safe and warm in his alpha's arms.

 

///

Notes:

I've been editing Mine to Protect for, like, a year. I feel like I am going through the longest pregnancy ever recorded, and it may never end. No way I can release in August now, possibly September. I am trying not to get discouraged, but it's hard.

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Chapter 29: Invincible

Summary:

Hinata survives the rough pregnancy, and the twins arrive.

Notes:

Sorry for the delay in posting. I'm still getting used to my new job and am STILL working on Mine To Protect edits. Details about release date in end note.

So what's your guess for the twins? Two boys, two girls, or one of each? Let me know in the comments.

Kageyama's alarm dings at 4:45 in the morning, and he fumbles to turn it off before it wakes Hinata. He stares into the dark for a couple of minutes, trying to wake his sleepy brain and prepare himself for the long day ahead. Turning to his side, he scoots closer to his mate. He can't see anything but Hinata's outline in the darkness, but he can hear his even breaths and senses no distress from the omega.

He scents him quickly, kisses his forehead and whispers, "I love you" before rising. He showered before bed, so he slips into the bathroom to throw on clothes and brush his teeth. Before going down to the bakery, he tiptoes to Suki's room and gently cracks open the door to listen. She is sleeping soundly, so he closes the door and heads downstairs, using his phone's flashlight to guide him in the inky blackness.

Flicking on the lights in the bakery kitchen, he blinks at the brightness until his eyes adjust. He begins the day as he always does – switching on the ovens and selecting music. Today he's in the mood for his grandfather's favorite classical pieces, so he sets up the playlist on his phone and plays it through the Bluetooth speaker.

These early mornings in the quiet kitchen are when he feels the closest to his grandfather. He can almost feel Kazuyo's presence next to him as he measures the flour, butter and salt, can almost hear his words telling him how to mix and knead for the best results. The memories comfort him, as they always do, but he's feeling more melancholy, more introspective today.

He often wonders what his grandfather would think of his life, his accomplishments, but lately he's been more confident that his grandfather would be proud of how his life has turned out so far. The business is successful, constantly growing, and he's got a family that he loves and cherishes. It's wild that in a few short months, they will have three kids, and he's a bit nervous, but also excited. He knows that he and Hinata have enough love for all of them, and he really does love being a dad.

He smiles a bit as he imagines Kazuyo watching over him, observing and hopefully approving. He's tried his best to be a good person, a good man, a good alpha, and he feels like he's doing a pretty good job. He's trying, every day, to be the best he can for his pack, his daughter, his mate.

His mate. God, he loves Hinata so much it hurts. He thinks back to that first day when the fiery redhead came into the bakery and made his declarations. The memory makes him smile, as it always does, because that is the day his life pivoted on its axis, the day everything started to fall into place.

The day he realized his grandfather's words were true.

He's got matcha cookies prepared and two cheesecakes and cream puffs in the oven when Yachi and Yamaguchi shuffle in at six o'clock. They work together for a while to prepare the shop for opening, and he gives Yamaguchi instructions for the morning before heading back upstairs to take care of his family. He'll be interviewing another potential employee at ten o'clock, and he hopes if this person works out, he'll have more time to spend with his growing family.

The sun has started to rise, casting greyish shadows over the apartment. The first thing he does is tiptoe into the bedroom to turn off the baby monitor. Hinata has been so tired lately, he doesn't want the baby to wake him. He cracks open Suki's bedroom door so he can hear when she wakes and then starts on breakfast and what pre-preparation he can do for dinner.

Shortly after, he hears his daughter fussing and enters her room. This is his favorite part of the day, when he finds Suki sitting up in her crib, her hair mussed, her eyes still droopy from sleep. She looks so much like Shoyo that his heart always flip-flops in his chest.

"Good morning, my love," he coos, picking her up. She snuggles against him, and he just spends a moment hugging her, nuzzling her soft hair, and appreciating just how much love he has for her.

Once her diaper is changed and she's sitting in her highchair, she's more awake and babbling. "Dada, dada."

"Yes, Suki?"

"Dada," she repeats and then giggles. She's so silly and beautiful and perfect, and his heart swells in his chest.

Life is good.

Hinata makes an appearance just after nine o'clock when Kageyama is playing with Suki on the living room floor. She's got her trains and some blocks, and she's building a tower only to smash it and knock it down by running a train into it. This seems to amuse her greatly as evidenced by her giggles and her insistence, "Dada! Look! Bam!" Her pigtails bounce as she crashes the blocks and laughs, and he can't help but smile at her exuberance.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Hinata says as he waddles into the living room. His hair is sticking up, reminding Kageyama of their daughter's appearance a couple of hours ago. His belly is frankly enormous, even though he's only six months along. Kageyama worries that the twins will be eight pounds each. [A/N: that's about 3.6 kg]

"You needed the sleep," Kageyama says, "and I had things under control."

"What about the bakery?"

"They're fine for now. I'll go back at ten to interview Azumane-san."

Hinata hums in agreement as he leans down, awkwardly, to stroke their daughter's hair. "Good morning, Suki-chan."

"Mama!" Suki beams. "Look. Bam!"

As the blocks tumble again, Hinata chuckles. "Wow!" He turns to Kageyama with a look that says, Should we be worried about her?

Kageyama shrugs, but grins anyway, then watches as Hinata sits down gingerly on the sofa.

"How's your nausea today?"

"Eh. Still there, but not horrible."

"Do you want some rice?"

"Yes, please."

Kageyama gets Hinata the rice he usually has for breakfast since it's all he seems to be able to stomach in the mornings. When Hinata finishes eating, he rubs his belly.

"How are the babies today?"

"Good. Not too active yet."

Kageyama hears Suki yell, "Babies!" just before she goes to Hinata and puts her hands on his belly.

"Yes, Suki-chan. There are babies in there. Two babies. One, two." Hinata holds up one finger, then another to help the child count.

Suki seems to think, then disappears into her room and returns with two teddy bears. "Babies."

"Yes, honey! One, two, babies," Hinata says, pointing at each of the teddy bears in turn.

"Two babies," Suki repeats, then shoves them under her shirt. "Two babies, two babies, two babies," she repeats walking around the room, doing a damn good impression of Hinata's waddle.

Kageyama stifles a belly-laugh and watches the two people in the world he loves the most. They are so beautiful, so amazing, and he's so thankful for them. He's sure he has a goofy, smitten look on his face, but he's fine with that.

As he appreciates his family, the cat jumps up onto the chair just beside his right shoulder. He turns to her and sees her watching Hinata as well. Then she looks back a him and meows. "Yeah, Mikeneko," he says, giving her a scratch. They are pretty great, aren't they?"

 

***

 

A few weeks later is Kageyama's twenty-third birthday. As is their custom, they have dinner at the restaurant where they used to celebrate with Kazuyo. Miwa is there sitting with Suki on her lap, while Kageyama and Hinata occupy the other bench in the booth. Hinata has to sit sideways because his belly is too big to sit normally. He's annoyed about it, but Kageyama secretly thinks it's cute.

As they eat and laugh and enjoy each other's company, Kageyama again feels Kazuyo's presence. He can't help but smile as his heart overflows with love and contentment.

Back at home, he puts Suki to bed and comes back to the living room to find Hinata with his feet propped up on a pillow on the coffee table.

"Feet hurting?" he asks sympathetically.

His mate nods wearily. "Yeah."

Sitting down on the table, Kageyama starts kneading Hinata's feet and ankles (cankles?) as the omega rests his head on the back of the sofa and closes his eyes. Sighs escape here and there as Kageyama works on one foot and then the other. When he's done, he snuggles up to Hinata on the sofa and draws him into his arms.

"I'm sorry this is so hard on you."

"I know, thanks," Hinata mumbles into his shoulder.

"It's almost over."

"Ha. Two more months."

The doctor has told them she will schedule a c-section in February when Hinata is thirty-six weeks, that is, if the babies don't come before then.

"That's not that much."

"Seems like forever."

"I know. I'm sorry, babe."

"Hmmph."

Kageyama puts one hand on Hinata's belly. "Are they very active right now?"

"Yeah, pretty active."

He waits a few minutes, hoping to feel the babies move, and is rewarded with a fluttering under his palm.

As always, he's awestruck at this miracle. He shuffles down to press both hands to Hinata's belly, then says, "Hey, babies. I'm your daddy. I can't wait to meet you. You are so loved already."

Another flutter, maybe a kick, and Kageyama is thrilled. He looks up to meet Hinata's eyes, and finds them teary. Hinata's got a dopey look on his face, and Kageyama's heart squeezes.

"What? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Hinata croaks. "It's just… this reminds me of when you did that same thing with Suki. And that was the moment… that was the moment I realized I loved you."

The words soak in slowly. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Hinata agrees, his voice cracking.

Kageyama scoots up and holds Hinata's face in both hands. "That's when I admitted it too. That I loved you. But I think… I think I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. That first day in the bakery."

Hinata manages a smile, and Kageyama kisses him tenderly. "Thank you for walking into my bakery."

Hinata nods, and more tears well in his eyes. "Okay, Sappy-Yama."

"Tch. You love it when I'm sappy."

"Yeah, I do," Hinata admits with a chuckle.

"Ready for bed?"

"Not quite. Could you massage my back? It's really aching."

"Sure."

Kageyama helps Hinata to stand, then the omega kneels on the sofa with his elbows propped on the back. He can't lie down on his stomach, so they've figured out that this position allows Kageyama to give a good massage while keeping Hinata comfortable.

Hinata hums with satisfaction as Kageyama's hands work his back muscles, occasionally letting out a moan that Kageyama tries very hard not to equate with sexy times. He shoves the horny thoughts away and focuses on relieving his mate's pain.

Or at least he tries to.

But it's been a while since Hinata usually feels ill, and his mate is so sexy and alluring. And the sounds he's making, god, they go right to his dick.

Focus!

Kageyama is frowning to himself when out of the blue, Hinata chuckles. "Remember last year on your birthday when I wanted to seduce you with a massage and you fell asleep on me?"

Kageyama flushes with embarrassment, even though his brain insists he has nothing to be embarrassed about. "Yeah. Why?"

"Nothing. Just funny that the roles are reversed this year."

"I am not trying to seduce you!"

"Hmm. Too bad," Hinata says coyly.

Wait, what?

"Did you… do you want me to seduce you? I didn't think you'd want sex with all the pain you're in."

"Well," Hinata hedges, "I mean, if you don't want to…"

"I want to!" Kageyama answers too quickly.

"Then go ahead. But I'm not moving, okay?"

Kageyama subconsciously licks his lips. "You're sure, Sho?"

"Mmm, yes, please Tobio."

Who am I to deny my omega? Kageyama thinks as he hitches down his pants.

 

***

 

Kageyama is waiting nervously in the living room for Hinata to finish packing. Hinata's mother is there playing with Suki and will watch her while they are at the hospital. In a few hours, Hinata will deliver the twins via planned c-section, and Kageyama is both excited and nervous. The idea of his mate going through surgery and all the pain that follows makes his stomach churn. On the other hand, he can't wait to meet their babies.

Finally, Hinata wobbles into the living room, carrying a duffel bag. His belly is comically large, sticking out so far that it looks fake.

"Dumbass, I was going to carry that for you!" Kageyama chastises.

Hinata seems too tired to even fight. "I know. You can carry it now."

"Tch," Kageyama clucks as he goes to his mate and hoists up the bag.

Hinata-san looks up from her spot on the floor. "Hey, sweetie. Are you all ready to go?"

"Yeah, Mom. I'm ready. I can't wait to get these babies out. I'm so freaking huge, it looks like I have a volleyball under my shirt."

"Or two," Kageyama teases.

"Or a whole volleyball team," Hinata-san jokes.

They all laugh, even Hinata, who is acutely aware of the monstrous size of his belly. Then, he gets a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Hey, Mom. Did I ever tell you how Tobio hurt himself when I went into labor with Suki?"

Hinata-san returns his devilish grin. "I don't think you have."

Kageyama feels his face start to flush and burn with embarrassment. Good thing he loves this fucker.

"Tobio was so nervous when my water broke that he ran to get my bag, tripped over the cat, and smashed his face on the sofa, giving him a bloody nose."

Hinata is laughing as he tells the story and needs to pause to catch his breath. "And then, then he forgot the bag and ran up the stairs again, and… and fell again and cracked his forehead against the stairs."

Kageyama is rethinking this whole 'spend his life with this man' decision.

"And when we got to the hospital, they weren't sure who needed medical attention," Hinata finishes, laughing so hard tears have welled in his eyes. Hinata's mom is laughing too, as is Suki, even though she doesn't really understand the story.

"Are you done now?" Kageyama asks sullenly.

Hinata laughs for another moment, trying to suck in deep breaths. Finally, he says, "I guess so. You're not going to break your face today, are you, Tobi?"

"Shut up, dumbass."

They both kiss their daughter goodbye and thank Hinata's mom for helping before making their way to the car. The weather is crisp, a typical February day, and Hinata is shivering by the time he makes it to the car. Kageyama chastises himself for not making sure his mate had a heavier coat.

At the hospital, Hinata is admitted and prepped for surgery. Kageyama is nervous, his brain cataloging all the things that could go wrong with the c-section. He must be frowning because Hinata reaches out to squeeze his hand.

"Hey, Tobio, you okay?"

Kageyama tries to work his face into a neutral expression so he doesn't worry his mate. "Yeah, just a little nervous."

He leans down to kiss Hinata, then scents him. "You okay?"

"Yeah. A little nervous. Not looking forward to the recovery from the surgery. But I'm anxious to meet them! What do you think? Two girls? Two boys? Or one of each?"

Kageyama has considered this since they decided not to find out the sex of the babies. "I still think one of each," he says confidently. "What do you think?"

"I still think two boys," Hinata says confidently. "It feels different than it did with Suki, and I can't wait to see two little boys with your hair and eyes."

Kageyama can't be mad at that, but he leans down to kiss Hinata's forehead. "I want them to look like you. You're beautiful."

"Aww, Sappy-Yama makes another appearance."

"Shut up, dumbass," Kageyama responds, but with no bite.

The doctor comes in to do the final check before the surgery, then Hinata is wheeled to the operating room while Kageyama gets suited up again in surgical scrubs, a cap, mask and gloves. He's calmer this time now that he knows what to expect, but he still feels his heart thump louder than usual as he fears for his mate's safety.

He's guided into the operating room to stand near Hinata's head, and they're both unable to see the surgical site due to the surgical drape above Hinata's stomach. Kageyama grabs Hinata's hand, squeezes and kisses it.

"You ready?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Yeah. I can't wait to meet them." Kageyama offers a small, reassuring smile, which Hinata returns. The doctor asks if they're ready, then begins the procedure. He watches Hinata's face, looking for any signs of pain, but his mate's face remains neutral, thank god.

A few minutes later, Kageyama hears a soft squawk and his heart skips a beat as he feels Hinata squeeze his hand. The doctor announces. "It's a girl!" and they look at each other, excited and joyful.

The baby is quickly cleaned off and settled on Hinata's chest. "Hey baby girl," Hinata says in the softest, gentlest voice. The sound brings tears to Kageyama's eyes as he looks at the tiny pup. She has a head of black hair, and her scrunched-up features remind him of himself when he's angry.

"She looks like you," Hinata whispers, his tone awestruck. Meeting Hinata's eyes, Kageyama admits, "Yeah, I guess so."

"She's beautiful," Hinata insists.

"Yeah, she is. You did good, Sho."

The doctor, who has been working while they admired the first twin, makes another announcement. "It's another girl!" she exclaims. The couple looks at each other and grins. Another tiny cry, some fussing, and the second baby is settled onto Hinata's chest next to her sister. She too has soft, dark hair.

Hinata puts a hand on each tiny back as tears splinter down his cheeks. "Hello, girls. I'm your mommy." He kisses both of their heads, then looks up to Kageyama.

His heart is full, too full for his chest now, and he feels his breath stolen. "You did so good, Sho," he says, threading his hands through Hinata's hair, kissing his head, bending down to kiss the tiny babies on his chest. "So good. I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you for having my pups."

He doesn't realize at first that tears have streaked down his face until the tickle forces him to wipe his cheek.

He turns to the doctor as a sudden, horrible thought pops into his head. "They're alright? Healthy?"

"Yes!" the doctor explains. "We'll do a couple more tests and will watch them closely, but they both had excellent Apgar scores. Your babies are healthy, Kageyama-san."

His breath whooshes out as relief washes over him. "And my mate? He's okay?"

"Yes," the doctor says, standing. "We have him all stitched up. Everything looks fine. Congratulations to you both!"

There is rustling around him, but Kageyama can only focus on his family, his pack. Happiness bubbles in him, and he feels like laughing.

"What do you want to name them?" he asks Hinata.

"What we decided for two girls, Mika and Mei. If that's still alright with you."

"Yes, it's perfect. They're perfect. You're perfect, Sho. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Tobi," Hinata says as his eyes do that sparkly thing that makes Kageyama believe he can do anything as long as Hinata is by his side.

Later, as Hinata sleeps in the hospital bed, and the babies slumber in bassinets by his side, Kageyama wakes from a light sleep in the hospital room's recliner. The darkened room is partially illuminated by the streetlights that the blinds don't fully block. Checking his phone, he sees that it's one o'clock. He's only been asleep for about an hour, and he expects the babies to wake again soon to eat.

He stands and tiptoes across the room to watch his sleeping family. First, he admires the twins, wrapped tightly in blankets, their inky hair peeking out from under tiny pink hats, their faces tiny and perfect. God, they have three girls now! This is amazing, and frightening. But mostly amazing.

Scooching down next to the first bassinet, he softly rests a hand on the pink hat and whispers, "Hello, Mika. I'm your daddy. I can't wait to watch you grow up. I'm going to love you and support you and care for you the best I can. I'm so happy you're here."

The tiny pup makes the faintest coo, and Kageyama's heart squeezes.

He moves to Mei's bassinet and sees almost exactly the same sight. A brief panic spikes as he wonders if they will mix up the babies, and then Mika will be Mei, and they will never know. But he forces himself to set that worry aside, for now.

Again, he places his hand gently on her back and feels the soft rise and fall of her chest. "Hello, Mei-chan. I'm your daddy. Your mommy and I are so happy to meet you. I love you so much, and I'm going to do my best to make sure you stay happy and healthy."

The words hover in the air for a moment, as Kageyama realizes the deep, aching truth of his words. His family is his priority, and he will do anything for them. His heart swells till it feels like it will burst from his chest. God, how lucky he is.

He hears a soft, "Tobio?" from Hinata's bed, and moves to his mate's side.

"I'm here, Sho. Are you okay?"

Hinata's hand reaches out to grab his, and their fingers intertwine. "What are you doing?"

Kageyama can feel himself flush and is thankful the shadows hide his embarrassment. "I was just talking to the twins."

"I heard you."

His heart squeezes again. "I know I was being sappy, you don't…"

"Tobio," Hinata interrupts.

"Yeah?"

"Come here. Kiss me."

He obliges his mate by placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"You don’t have to whisper in the dark anymore, you know. You can say these things out loud. In fact, I like hearing them."

Kageyama thinks his heart might burst with love and adoration for this man, and for a moment, he can't speak past the lump in his throat.

His voice is scratchy when he finds his words. "Yeah? Should I tell you then? How much I love you and our pups? How happy I am that I found you, that you gave me these children? How hard I'm going to work to keep you all safe and happy?"

"Yeah, you should tell me, Tobi. And I'll tell you back. How much I love you and our pups and our life. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

More tears well, and Kageyama doesn't think he's ever cried so much in one day. He squeezes Hinata's hand, bends down for another kiss, brushes their cheeks together."

"The same goes for you. I know that no matter what the future holds, we'll handle it together. You and me. Together we're invincible."

"Yeah," Hinata whispers, snaking a hand around his neck and pulling him down for another kiss. "Yes, we are."

 

///

Notes:

You guys, only the Epilogue is left. I'm so sad to bring this story to a close. :(
Also, I remembered the cat, so yay me!

Update on Mine To Protect -- I am almost done with edits, and my plan is to release in December or January, with pre-orders starting in November or December. Way, way later than I originally planned, but at least I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Please follow me as A.D. Sano on socials or join my mailing list, which pitifully has, like, 6 people on it.

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Chapter 30: Epilogue

Summary:

Ten years later.
Kageyama finally shares his grandfather's words with his mate.

Hinata lugs his suitcase up the front stairs of their house, which he still sometimes thinks of as Mrs. Eguchi's, even though they bought it from her years ago. Kageyama trails behind him, looking tired and grumpy, and Hinata pauses to check on his mate before opening the door.

"You okay? Ready to get back to the chaos?"

"I missed the kids, yes. The chaos, not so much."

Hinata smiles fondly and says, "Well, it's our chaos."

"True. Let's get inside before they break the door down and attack us on the porch."

When Hinata unlocks the door and swings it open, he calls, "We're home."

And all hell breaks loose.

The thunder of footsteps, sounding like a herd of elephants, rumbles through the house. He hears a scream of delight, then a scream of fear and a crash from the kitchen. Dogs are barking, kids are yelling – arguing by the sounds of it – and screaming, "Mommy! Daddy!" as both human and canine bodies start barreling down the stairs and through doors into the living room and toward their location.

Hinata braces himself.

The five-year-old twins, Eito and Eiko, are pushing each other as they run, each trying to get to their parents first. Eito manages to body check his sister at the last minute, and she and her long red braids go careening into the sofa, as he yells with victory, "I win!"

Eito launches himself at Tobio as if he is home base and Eito is trying to score the winning run in the World Series. "Daddy!"

Kageyama manages to stay standing as he catches the red-haired hellion child. "Hey buddy," he says as he hoists up the grinning child and gives him a hug. "What happened to your tooth?"

The boy's golden-brown eyes, eerily similar to Shoyo's, dance with mischief. "It fell out, but the Tooth Fairy didn't come. Grandma said she is on vacation. I didn't know Tooth Fairies took vacations, did you, Daddy?"

Hinata doesn't hear Kageyama's response because a second red-haired wild child has just picked herself off the sofa and bolted into his arms. "Mommy!" she screams so loud he thinks he's lost hearing in his right ear. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too, Eiko-chan," he assures her as he hugs her small frame. "Did you behave for Grandma and Auntie while I was gone?"

"Well, I tried awfully hard, Mommy, really I did, but Eito…"

Frowning, he tells her, "We'll talk about it later, okay."

"Okay," she answers, apparently not at all sorry for whatever she did while he and Kageyama were in London.

He puts her down while both dogs, seven-year-old Pomeranians named Shiro and Choco, bark, jump and circle their feet. As the rest of the kids approach them, there are thankfully no further body checks. Little Reiji, their youngest at three years old, holds his arms up begging for Hinata to lift him.

"Hello, sweetie," Hinata says, loving the way Reiji's little, chubby arms circle his neck and his fluffy red curls tickle his neck. This is why they keep having babies, he thinks, because he loves it when they're little like this, adorable and cuddly and sweet."

"Mommy," the child mumbles against his shoulder. "I missed you."

"Aww, I missed you too, my love. Was everything okay?"

The child leans back and stares back at him with Tobio's startling blue eyes. "Eito was mean."

Hinata sighs. This is a common problem for them, as Reiji doesn't appear to have the demeanor to fight back against his big brother. "I'm sorry. We'll talk about it later, okay?"

The child clings to him tightly as he looks over to see Suki hugging Kageyama. At twelve, she's growing into a young woman, looking more like Natsu each day. Hinata smiles at the special bond his oldest has with his mate. When she has something important to talk about, she goes to him first, and he always seems to help her find her way. She's always known that Tobio is not her biological father, but they have made sure she knows that he chose her and that he's loved her since before she was born.

Their middle child, seven-year-old Kazuyo, approaches Hinata and leans in for a gentle hug. With his inky hair and bright blue eyes, Hinata always imagines he's looking at young Tobio. Kazuyo is quiet and observes everything and everyone around him, though he often hides his nose in a book and appears not to be paying attention.

"Hi there, Kazuyo, my love. Was everything alright while we were gone?"

Kazuyo shrugs. "Eito called Reiji a baby, Eiko stole Suki's makeup, and Mika and Mei fought over a boy."

Hinata's eyebrows shoot up. "Is that so? I guess I need to talk to them." Hinata lowers his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "And how were Grandma and Auntie?"

"They were not happy," the boy whispers back seriously, and Hinata internally cringes.

"I missed you, Mommy. And Daddy too," the boy says quietly, and Hinata knows their son must have suffered with no one around who really gets him like his father.

"I'm sorry, honey. We won't be going away for a long time, I promise." The assurance seems to satisfy the child.

Suki comes to him next with a tight hug and a soft, "I'm glad you're home."

"Me too," Hinata responds, and though his daughter doesn't say it, he can see the relief in her eyes. He suspects she tried to help her grandmother and aunt with the younger kids. He'll talk to her later how that is not her responsibility.

Lastly, their ten-year-old twins greet him with hugs. The girls are more carbon copies of Tobio, but easy to tell apart. Mika is quiet and a bit timid, wears her long, dark hair in braids, and usually carries a book in her hand. She rolls her eyes so often, both at her siblings and her parents, that Hinata is afraid her eyes will get stuck like that. Mei is a force of nature, outspoken, direct. She cut her hair to her shoulders last year, so the kids at school wouldn't mix her up with her twin. She's the one in the family who says what everyone is thinking but is too afraid to speak out loud.

When they have hugged all of their kids and the dogs have stopped barking, Hinata's eyes scan the room to find his mother and sister watching them patiently.

His mother is a mess. Her hair is coming out of her ponytail, and straggly strands are sticking up in odd directions. Her face looks drawn, with dark circles under her eyes, and her clothes are rumpled and stained. She looks like a victim who's just survived some natural disaster.

His kids are sort of a natural disaster, Hinata muses.

His eyes flicker to his sister, and Natsu looks equally disheveled, but unlike their mother, she's actively frowning at him. His instincts say 'retreat,' but he's a man now, not a child, so he approaches them.

"Mom," he says, coming up to hug her as Haiiro, the youngest of their three cats, darts from between her legs and into the kitchen. "Thanks for watching them. Were they… um, okay for you?"

His mother, who was raised by the philosophy 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all,' simply answers, "Shoyo, it's good to see you. We're glad you're back."

"What was that crash in the kitchen? Are you okay?"

His mother's eyes flash with frustration. "I tripped over the dog and dropped my tumbler. I'm fine."

Hinata offers a sympathetic smile, then turns to his sister. Natsu is more direct about how the kids behaved as he wraps his arms around her in a loose hug. Her voice is menacing. "Next time you and Tobio go on vacation, call Miwa-san to babysit."

He leans back to examine her face.

She's not joking.

"That bad?"

"Yes. Your children are animals."

"Natsu, that's not nice," their mother chastises.

Hinata notices that she doesn't contradict her daughter's sentiment.

Attempting to avoid the awkward conversation, Hinata turns and announces to the room, "We have presents for you all!"

More squealing, yelling, barking and mayhem ensue as animals and children bounce around the room. He sees their orange cat, Momo, get trapped under Eito as he bounces on the chair, and the cat hisses and scurries away. Meanwhile, Reiji is trying to hug Choco, who squirms out of his grip and hides behind the sofa. Those poor dogs are often petted and hugged within an inch of their lives by their youngest, and Choco does not tolerate it. Neither does Mikeneko, who seems to sense that Reiji will target her next, as she meows and dashes from the room.

Hinata opens his suitcase and starts passing out presents. There is more yelling and barking, as impossible as that seems, as every child gets a gift. When he hands his mother and sister antique jewelry pieces from England, his mother's expression softens, but Natsu is still shooting daggers at him as she whispers, "Thank you, but I'm still not ever babysitting your kids again."

After the gifts are distributed, Suki asks, "Well, are you going to tell us how it went?"

Hinata and Kageyama settle on the sofa with Reiji on Hinata's lap, then look at each other and grin slyly. On a whim, they had applied last year to appear on The Great American Baking Show – strangely filmed in London – and to their surprise and delight, had been accepted. This trip was to film their episode.

"It was really good," Kageyama began.

"Did you win?" Mei asks.

"We can't tell anyone that, not even you," Hinata insists, "until after the episode airs. There's something called an NDA…"

"Well, tell us what you can," Hinata's mother urges.

"Well, it was cool," Hinata begins.

"The kitchens were so big and professional and so well-stocked," Kageyama adds.

"And the challenges were hard, but fun. Like, they gave us an ingredient and we had to use it."

"And," Kageyama adds proudly, "Hinata made the most perfect Japanese cheesecake."

Hinata feels his cheeks heat up as he gazes at his mate. "I wouldn't say it was exactly perfect…" he hedges.

"It was," Kageyama assures him, grabbing and squeezing his hand. Hinata's heart flip-flops in his chest. To have his mate, his partner, recognize that he finally achieved something he'd worked long and hard at, well, who can blame him when he feels his eyes sting with tears.

"So when does the show air?" Natsu asked.

"About two months from now."

"Aww man," Eito grouses. "That's such a long time to wait!"

"You'll get over it," Mei says, rolling her eyes.

Squeezing Kageyama's hand again, Hinata looks around at all the people he loves most, and his heart feels like it might burst out of his chest.

 

++++

 

Hinata's mother and sister seem to disappear in record time once the excitement dies down, insisting that the drive back to Miyagi is totally doable, despite the late hour, and Hinata feels a twinge of guilt for what they must have gone through in the last week. He tells himself he'll call them tomorrow – to grovel.

The adults throw together a simple meal, and the family gathers around the dining room table, all nine of them, with both dogs stationed under Reiji's chair as they wait for the inevitable droppings from the messy child. He and Kageyama ask their kids more about what happened while they were gone, about school and friends and fights, while refereeing squabbles between the twins, who try to see who can kick each other the hardest under the table. As expected, Reiji spills his bowl of rice, which the dogs gobble up, while Kazuyo has to be told to put his book away, and Suki is chastised for looking at her phone.

It's a normal meal.

The older kids clean up the table and load the dishwasher, while Hinata and Kageyama take the younger kids upstairs to start their bedtime routines.

This is not Hinata's favorite time of the day.

As he runs the bath for Eiko, he hears the four oldest children stomp up the stairs. He peeks into the hall to tell them to start taking their showers in the other bathroom – fortunately, they have three – when he sees Eito charging down the hall as if to tackle one of his sisters. Hinata is just about to open his mouth to yell at him to stop when Kazuyo, his nose in a book as usual but clearly aware of his surroundings, sticks out his foot and trips his brother. Eito falls flat on his face.

Kazuyo keeps walking as if nothing has happened.

Hinata doesn't know which boy to address first, but he doesn't have to, because Kageyama storms out of Reiji's bedroom looking like the big, scary alpha he is, and scolds both boys. After checking that Eito's nose isn't injured from his face plant, they are both sent their separate ways to get ready for their baths.

Hinata supervises Eiko's bath and listens as the older girls complain loudly about how long Suki is taking in the shower. He ignores their sniping, but hears Kageyama tell Suki to hurry up, that her time is almost up.

Listening to his mate navigate the complexities of having seven children always makes him smile. Despite what Kageyama said earlier, he knows his alpha adores all their children, even if they do drive him crazy.

When Eiko's bath finishes, he sends her back to her room and calls to Eito, who runs around the corner and body checks his sister. Instead of crying, Eiko tries to punch him, but out of nowhere,  he sees Kageyama's hand come and still her fist.

"Go to your rooms, both of you," Kageyama says in that stern, deep alpha voice that Hinata finds so fucking sexy.

Eiko has her bath, and there's no squabbling from the older kids' bathroom, so Hinata calls that a win. When Eiko is finished, Kageyama carries little Reiji to the bathroom and hands him over.

"Almost done," he quips, though he looks tired.

Reiji's bath takes a while because he likes to play, and Hinata feels like he's going to fall asleep sitting there by the tub. Finally, when the little boy is wrinkled and clearly waning, Hinata washes him up and lifts him from the tub.

"Time for bed, little one."

"I'm not tired," the child insists, despite his drooping eyelids.

Hinata chuckles softly. "Okay, but it's still bedtime. Do you want me or Daddy to read you a book tonight?"

"You, Mommy. Please."

He kisses the child's ginger curls and takes him to the tiny room he has all to himself as the baby of the family. He gets the boy dressed in his teddy bear jammies, then reads him a picture book. Kissing his head, he switches on the night light and turns off the bedside lamp. Kageyama comes in as he leaves, and he catches his hand briefly and squeezes it in silent reassurance.

Hinata makes his rounds to the kids' rooms, saying goodnight to each. He tucks them in and kisses their foreheads, telling each how much he loves them. He assumes Kageyama has already done his own rounds, because when he finally trudges back to their bedroom, his mate is already there, starfished on the bed, staring at the ceiling. When Hinata approaches, Kageyama makes room for him, and he snuggles up, resting his cheek on Kageyama's pec.

He takes in his mate's coffee scent, so comforting and familiar. "I'm exhausted," Hinata mumbles.

"Me too."

"They're exhausting."

"Absolutely."

A few heartbeats pass before Hinata offers, "You're a great dad, you know that."

He hears a soft huff. "Thanks. You're a great mom."

"Thanks."

Hinata lifts his head and pins his gorgeous mate with a grin. "I can't believe we won."

Kageyama's smile is that rare, beautiful one. "I know. It's unbelievable."

"It was so fun to be there with you, to bake beside you like that, against others from around the world. Everyone's going to see that show, you know. Business will skyrocket."

"I know," Kageyama agrees. "I've already been thinking about hiring additional staff. Even with Yachi, Yamaguchi and Asahi, we can't handle it all. We'll talk about it."

"Okay," Hinata agrees, placing a soft kiss on Kageyama's jaw. "Did you really think my cheesecake was perfect?" Hinata asks mischievously. He wants to hear it again.

"You know I do, dumbass. It's what gave us the win."

Hinata sighs contentedly. "Remember when we first met, how hard it was for me to do those?"

"They're difficult to make."

"I worked really hard to get that."

"I know you did, and I'm proud of you."

"Thanks."

Kageyama stares up at him, looking thoughtful and maybe a little nervous. "Sho," he starts, "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course. What's up?"

Kageyama scoots up so that his back rests against the headboard, and when he's settled, Hinata climbs up and straddles him.

"Oi, dumbass, I'm not going to be able to concentrate with you on top of me."

Hinata smirks, "Try."

"You're insufferable."

"You love me anyway."

When Kageyama's frown fades and that soft, warm look appears in his eyes, Hinata is lost. "What did you want to tell me?" he asks, trying to concentrate on the conversation, but it's difficult when Tobio looks at him like that and smells so good.

"Do you remember when you first came into the bakery that day? What you said?"

Hinata chuckles at the fond memory. "I remember telling you I was going to be a better baker than you someday."

"Yeah, and do you remember what I said?"

Hinata's chest fills with love for his alpha. He whispers, "Yeah, you said, 'Even if I'm the best in Tokyo? The best in the world.'"

Kageyama's smile is so soft and affectionate that Hinata's heart flutters. "And you said you'd do it, even if it took ten or twenty years. Well, here we are. It's only been thirteen years."

Hinata's smile feels like it's going to split his face open. He cradles his mate's face in both hands. "We did it, Tobio. We're on top of the world. I could never have seen this view without you."

A sparkle flickers in Kageyama's eyes. "We did it together, Sho."

Hinata leans in, presses their lips together softly, languidly. When he pulls back, Kageyama says, "There's more."

"Okay." Hinata tilts his head, curious what more there could be.

"That day we first met, I…" Kageyama halts, uncharacteristically fumbling for words.

"It's okay, babe. You can tell me anything."

Kageyama closes his eyes, breathes in, and opens them again.

"Sho, before my grandfather died, he told me something. He told me that he knew I felt alone, that I'd suffered a lot in my life, but to have hope, because someday, someone was going to come along, someone better…"

Kageyama pauses and hauls in another shaky breath, while Hinata's breath is trapped in his lungs as he wonders where this is going.

"He said, I would one day meet someone who shared my passion, who would challenge me, and make me better – a better baker, a better man, a better alpha. That this person would stay by my side, walk with me through life, that as a team, we'd be able to handle anything, that we'd make each other better, the best possible version of ourselves. And I wouldn't be alone."

Hinata can feel the tears sting his eyes as he whispers, "Tobi…"

"It's you, Sho. I felt it that first day, when you walked into my bakery and complimented me and insulted me and challenged me at the same time. I… I wanted it to be you. And it is."

Kageyama's voice cracks at the end, and tears are slipping onto his cheeks as Hinata feels wetness coat his own face.

"Tobio," he whispers, not knowing what else to say. Because words don't seem enough, he leans down, still holding Kageyama's face, and kisses him again as love and adoration fill his heart.

"I'm so glad I found you, Sho. You're everything to me, you and the kids."

"Tobio, I'm glad I found you too. You and the kids are everything to me, too. I love you so much."

Kageyama huffs softly, and a corner of his mouth turns up. "I love you too."

Hinata stares into his mate's eyes as a giddiness rises in his chest. "We're pretty good together, huh?"

"The best," Kageyama agrees.

Another kiss, then another, and Hinata leans back. "I want you, Tobio. I want you to make love to me, right now."

Kageyama's eyes spark with heat. "I wouldn't want to deny my mate, would I?"

"Absolutely not," Hinata says, planting another few kisses on Kageyama's lips and jaw. "You know," he says between kisses, "Reiji is already three."

Hinata can feel his mate freeze below him. "No, Shoyo," Kageyama insists. "No more kids!"

"But I miss it when they were babies! And you love it when I'm pregnant."

"I do, babe. It's just, every time you get pregnant, we have more kids."

"What the fuck, Tobi? That's literally how it works."

"I know! I just wish my alpha could keep it in his pants."

"Tobio, come on. You love babies, too!"

"Shoyo, I would do anything for you, but not that. Please."

"But babe, your alpha wanted ten kids."

"And you only wanted three!"

"I know, but I've changed my mind."

"You're already almost thirty-four. Your fertility starts to decline at thirty. You may not even be able to conceive."

Hinata rolls his eyes much like his daughter. "When did we ever have trouble conceiving?"

Kageyama looks panicked now. "We're due for another set of twins. We cannot have nine kids, Sho. That is absolutely bonkers."

Hinata's grin is devilish. "Okay, well, we'll talk about it later. My heat's not coming for another couple of months anyway."

Kageyama mumbles into Hinata's mouth as he kisses him again. "We will not talk about it, Sho. No."

"We'll see," Hinata insists, feeling a laugh bubble up in his throat.

Another baby or not, their life is pretty much perfect.

 

THE END

///

++++

 

Kagehina's family:

 

Natsuki (Suki), 12 years old. She has red hair, golden-brown eyes, and is active, talkative and loud. She wants to be a baker when she grows up but is still obsessed with trains, just like she's been all her life. She is a daddy's girl, and though Hinata is a little jealous, he loves the bond that she has with Kageyama.

 

Mika and Mei, twins, age 10, black hair, blue eyes. Mika is quiet and a bit timid. She likes books and baking with her parents but doesn't like baking with Suki because she talks too much. She wants to be an author when she grows up. Mei is outspoken, direct. She can be loud like Suki but also has quiet moments. She likes anything fast, wants to fly planes or race cars when she's older, but if that doesn't work out, she wants to be a veterinarian because she loves animals.

 

Kazuyo, age 7, black hair, blue eyes. Like Mika, he's quiet, an observer who likes to watch things unfold around him. He's very perceptive, seems to understand people well, which is how he gets under his siblings' skins so easily. He loves art, is good at sketching, and wants to be an artist or a psychologist when he grows up.

 

Eito and Eiko, twins, age 5, red hair, golden-brown eyes. When they were born, their hair was bright red, so their parents named the boy Eito (bright warrior) and the girl Eiko (bright child). They are the wild children, always climbing, bumping, jumping, fighting. They give their parents gray hair but can be sweet when they know they're in trouble. Eito wants to be a professional football (soccer) player when he grows up and runs around pretending to score goals even inside the house. Eiko also likes sports but prefers running to ball sports. She also likes any kind of games, card games, board games. Tobio is teaching her chess.

 

Reiji, age 3, red hair, blue eyes. He's a sweet, quiet momma's boy who would rather sit in Shoyo's lap and read books rather than take part in the craziness of the twins. He loves on their animals so much, trying to hug and pet and squeeze them, that Mikeneko and Choco run from him every time he gets close.

 

Three cats:

Mikeneko, age 15, calico;

Momo, age 5, orange long-haired;

Haiiro, age 1, gray short-haired.

 

Two dogs:

Choco, age 7, brown Pomeranian;

Shiro, age 7, white Pomeranian

 

+++++

Notes:

OMG, I can't believe this story is over! 137K??? For real? I had this story in my head for ages about Kageyama raising Hinata's child. I am pretty happy with how it turned out, and I'm so sorry for the big lag in finishing. Much love to everyone who read and stuck with me. <3

~Annie

P.S. Did you catch the reference to Don't You Want Me? Kageyama always bringing up Hinata's declining fertility bc he has a death wish in every universe.

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Update on Mine To Protect -- I am almost done with edits, and my plan is to release in December or January, with pre-orders starting in November or December. I will post on all my bo_love social media, but please follow me as A.D. Sano on socials or join my mailing list, which pitifully has, like, 7 people on it. (It was 6, so thanks DocGraham!)

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