JOHN: LOAD PREVIOUS SAVE ==>

by bluebootyraider

Summary:

The game was never really meant to be won. It's output, the universe John could never really call home, is cursed. So when John and Calliope are faced with two, equally bad options, they decide to go for a third.

What if instead of destroying Lord English, they made sure he never existed in the first place? Maybe it really was possible to fix everything. To truly have a happy ending.

So John (now with Aradia by his side), reluctantly prepares for another retcon. And, unbeknownst to everyone but her, Calliope calls in a favor. For a fleeting moment, a perfect future is within their grasp.

However, when faced with "canon" once again, they find out the hard way that it could never be that easy. Every win comes with a brutal sacrifice, by the time they realize, it's too late. Not wanting to doom the timeline they created, their only hope is that, perhaps, the path to heaven goes through hell first.

Chapter 1: Prologue (FLASH WARNING AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER)

Notes:

4/13/25

I just wanted to thank everyone for their support of this story so far, and let you all know there's a gif at the end of the chapter! credit to my friend nat (nattbot/ natndraw) for the drawing! Just a warning, it flashes!

John stares at the picnic blanket.

JOHN: calliope? can i be honest for a second?
CALLIOPE: yes?
JOHN: no offense, but this feels really… performative?
CALLIOPE: what do yoU mean?
JOHN: i feel like you’re trying to get me to engage in some kind of metaphor i don’t have the information to understand, which is pretty frustrating considering the stakes are so high.
JOHN: can you please just tell me what you actually want?

Calliope pauses. She looks at John, almost - but not quite - confused. She frowns. She stares at the food in front of them and pokes at it briefly, avoiding John’s gaze.

CALLIOPE: yoU don’t have to do this if yoU don’t want to.
CALLIOPE: i hope it doesn’t feel like i am forcing yoU to eat something.
JOHN: uh, yeah, so that’s not really the issue i’m having. the food really isn’t the problem here.
JOHN: this feels like you’re avoiding answering my question.

He can see her start to sniffle.

CALLIOPE: i’m wasting yoUr time. i’m sorry.
ROXY: aw callie no thats not true @ all

John sighs. It is kind of true. He was supposed to make a potentially life ending decision soon. If Calliope was going to tell him not to do that, this was just about the most frustrating way to go about it. But, it’s not like he wanted to fight Lord English. He’ll hear it out.

JOHN: i mean, i’m happy to just have a picnic! again, that’s not even the problem. and now i just feel you just put a lot of weight on this and now you’re dropping it. i want to know if all my friends will die if i don’t eat this steak.

The sniffle turns to a cry and with that she’s bawling.

CALLIOPE: john yoU’re right!
CALLIOPE: i just feel so Ungrateful.
CALLIOPE: we were sUpposed to enjoy this fUn new Universe with all of our friends! It’s jUst that i feel like, and i don’t want to be rUde becaUse so many good things have happened, bUt-
CALLIOPE: it just doesn’t feel right.

Roxy puts an arm around her shoulder, and holds her as she cries. People stare, and all three of them ignore that staring. John comes in, and Calliope squeezes him so hard he knows it will leave a bruise

CALLIOPE: is it okay if i eat some of this? i just want one piece.

She says, gesturing to the candy.

ROXY: go 2 town bb
CALLIOPE: thank yoU, roxy.

John watches her unwrap one off-brand green dum dum, still sniffling. He looks at her, brows furrowed. It reminds him of being a kid again, with his dad holding a lollipop hostage as he got his flu vaccines. He always threw a tantrum about it. One time he thought his dad had caved, leaving him smug about it for weeks, but it had turned out he hadn’t even noticed the jab through his screaming. A lump formed in his throat. He wished he had just tolerated it. That he hadn’t always been such a brat. Just once...

ROXY: callie can i b real with you?
ROXY: i think i sorta agree
JOHN: wait, you do!?
ROXY: yea i just feel like all my friends r acting all weird
ROXY: and this place feels empty in a way i didnt expect

John lies back on the ground. He almost laughs in relief. Finally. Finally, Someone was putting into words what he had been feeling for years. Empty. Earth C was nothing like the planet he had left, and it wasn’t just sparse in population, it was sparse in character. Very few cultures, very few holidays, very few people worth knowing. And it wasn’t getting better. In fact, he was losing what little he had. His friends weren’t just acting weird, they were acting just as empty as the world itself. They were fading away.

JOHN: oh my god, i thought i was going insane!
JOHN: i can’t believe we all feel this way! why did none of us ever talk about this!
JOHN: honestly i’ve been sort of feeling this way since i got my powers but WOW has it been getting worse!
JOHN: like i feel like jake lost half his personality on one of his runs.
ROXY: OMG
ROXY: ok 1st of all that is really mean john dont say that
ROXY: but 2nd of all
ROXY: :(
ROXY: i wish i could tell u ur wrong
ROXY: but jane has been mean and dirk has been a total nutcase
ROXY: and jake is
ROXY: well
ROXY: the lights arent fully on upstairs in a way i find rly concerning
ROXY: he always was kind of a dipshit but i dont think he was ever THIS out of it
ROXY: there was a glint behind in eyes that made him so magnetic n fun
ROXY: i feel like that's gone now and its depressing
JOHN: right!
JOHN: and it’s not helping that all his friends are making him like, twerk all the time!!!
ROXY: ...
ROXY: twerk?
JOHN: ugh! i dont watch any of it and i don’t want to but aren’t they making him do weird sexual stuff!? on tv!? i always thought if he was going to be famous he’d do shitty b movies or some thing like that, not...what ever weird diaper fetish wrestling he’s doing with dirk.
ROXY: oh yeah
ROXY: yeah that’s weird af
ROXY: ive tried to intervene a few times but u know what trying 2 do that w/ dirk is like
ROXY: p much impossible now :(
JOHN: also, i feel like a HUGE asshole saying this too but jade! jade is acting weird! and i don’t know but she’s been really bad at interacting with people in a way she wasn’t before!
JOHN: and also she has a tail now and i don’t know why!?
JOHN: she didn’t have a tail before? she just grew one! unprompted!
JOHN: roxy, i’m not sure i can take this anymore! this is total nonsense!

Calliope frowns.

JOHN: what?
CALLIOPE: john i am not sUre there’s anything we can do. i think we jUst have to move on.
JOHN: so just ignore it?
CALLIOPE: UnfortUnately, yes. the corrUption is impossible to stop.
CALLIOPE: i jUst wish my brother never existed. i can’t shake the feeling he’s behind this somehow.
CALLIOPE: it’s impossible thoUgh, he can’t not exist. jUst as i can’t not exist.
ROXY: well do u know that 4 sure
CALLIOPE: what do yoU mean?
ROXY: do u know if its possible for ur brother to not exist
ROXY: or what if
ROXY: and mayb im fuckin crazy 4 this but hear me out
ROXY: what if LE didn’t exist!
ROXY: like we never had to fight him bc he never happened
CALLIOPE: roxy that soUnds paradoxical! we might as well erase everything at that point.
CALLIOPE: bUt...
CALLIOPE: hm, it's hard not to get caught up into imagining a Universe where we coUld have all of this and not have it slip between oUr fingers.
CALLIOPE: what do yoU think, john?
JOHN: i don’t know. i’m not a time player, i don’t really know any thing about that and no offense but neither does dave. at least, not on this level.
CALLIOPE: well, dave isn’t the only time player. the trolls had one as well. do yoU remember her?
JOHN: you mean aradia? yeah we weren’t really close, she seemed kind of weird.
ROXY: john dont b rude
JOHN: sorry! i don’t even mean it in a bad way! she just seemed really obsessed with death. she was nice, and it’s not like she was a terrible clown or a weird furry or anything.
CALLIOPE: don’t say that aboUt gamzee! he’s not all bad! i promise, he jUst had a really difficUlt life and he’s really troUbled.
JOHN: calliope, gamzee sucks. the nicest thing he ever did was raise you, and even then, he chained you to your room so your shitty brother could kill you.
CALLIOPE: well, he did that to both of us!
JOHN: that’s not better.
CALLIOPE: it was for oUr safety! besides, he didn’t know my brother woUld chew his own leg off! and gamzee only does those horrid things becaUse my brother tells him to.
JOHN: well it sure seems like he likes doing those horrible things your brother tells him to do. which still means he sucks, by the way
CALLIOPE: U∩U.
ROXY: hey guys can we pls not have this argument right now its super loaded
JOHN: you’re right. i’m sorry.
CALLIOPE: it’s okay, john. i Understand why yoU don’t like him.
CALLIOPE: i just want to believe the best in people.
JOHN: and that’s fair! i mean, i don’t know if it’s a good idea, but i guess i understand where you’re coming from.
CALLIOPE: ...
CALLIOPE: i am going to invite aradia to come over.

Calliope gets out her phone, and she’s barely even sent the text before John sees a winged figure zooming over the grass, flying low enough that her shoes nick a daisy.

ROXY: :O how did you get here so-
ROXY: o rite lol
ARADIA: you know what
ARADIA: give me one second

Aradia zaps away and returns, carrying a mug of tea in one hand and a somewhat limp rose over held up beside her via telekenesis. Roxy moves to help her onto the grass, and Calliope puts a pillow under her.

ROSE: Hello, Roxy.
ROSE: Thank you, Calliope.
ROXY: how have u been doing?
ROSE: Things have been difficult lately. We can talk more after we’re done. What’s all this about?
ROXY: we were talkin abt how everything sucks now :(
ROSE: Oh I agree, but I discussed this with John.
ROSE: Since completing the game, we’ve been drifting farther and farther away from canon.
ROSE: The changes we’ve been experiencing are a result what little teathers we have left to it fraying.
JOHN: i mean you tried to, but if i’m being honest i am not really sure what any of this means.
JOHN: i think you’re just using a bunch of fandom language, but i’m not in a fandom so i have no idea what you’re talking about, or how it relates to any of us? it’s all just word salad.
ROSE: Canon, John, is the word I’m using to describe what it was like for us to be in the game.
JOHN: that doesn’t make sense, though! why would not being in the game mean we magically change?
JOHN: and how do you know it isn’t just us changing as people?
ROSE: John, I feel like on an intuitive level you know that’s not true.
ROSE: Because we aren’t just developing, we’re going off course.
JOHN: that also doesn’t make sense!
JOHN: people don’t have “courses”. And if we do, nobody follows them.
ROSE: Oh trust me, John. I’m far past the point. I could reminisce about how my path was ripped away from me, but that would assume I haven’t already done it until I’m blue in the face.
ROSE: But it’s not that we’re doing things in an unexpected way, or that we’re backsliding. Although we are.
ROSE: It’s that we’re losing the parts of ourselves that make us interesting.
ROSE: People don’t generally become less complex.
ROSE: The only reason that I’m even using the word “canon” is because I’ve seen this before.
ROSE: Back when I used to write earthsea fanfiction, I noticed that, through either misinterpretation, lack of reading comprehension, or just bad writing skills, the characters would often seem…off.
ROSE: They aren’t just different, they’re worse. They take a complex, 3D structure and turn it into something flat and then scribble all over it.
CALLIOPE: that feels kind of Uncalled for.

John looks at calliope, brow raised. For the first time, she looks mad. Not hurt, not sad, mad. She’s usually so non confrontational and polite that seeing her defensive almost made him uneasy. Rose looks unperturbed. Roxy looks deeply uncomfortable.

ROSE: How so?
CALLIOPE: people have different interpretations of characters. it doesn’t make them bad writers.
ROSE: I disagree. I read fanfiction to see the characters I love, I don’t read fanfiction to look at people’s OC’s painted as the characters I love.
CALLIOPE: well maybe yoU don’t, bUt some people do. Some people want to take the design or concept of a character and take that somewhere different! and that’s okay! Besides, fanfiction is a good way for yoUng or inexperienced writers to practice.
CALLIOPE: shaming those people doesn’t make fandom more comfortable, it makes it more Unfriendly.
ROSE: I don’t necessarily disagree, but that’s sort of irrelevant to my point. Regardless of whether it’s intentional, or even whether it’s bad, it’s that fandom changes things.
CALLIOPE: i sUppose that is trUe, bUt how is it relevant?
ROSE: Because, Calliope, that’s what’s happening to us.

Rose pauses dramatically.

ROXY: lmao what
JOHN: yeah, okay, let me get this straight.
JOHN: so according to this “fanon”-
ROSE: I prefer to call it a “lack of canon”.
JOHN: that’s just more words for the same thing, but okay.
ROSE: There is a difference.
JOHN: sure, rose.
JOHN: so according to this “lack of canon”, i’m miserable, jade has no people skills and is obsessed with threesomes, jake is a sex object with no personality outside of talking like a 30s radio host, you’re WAY more of an ass hole-
ROSE: Thank you. It’s good to hear someone finally acknowledge it. Kanaya is far too good to me.
JOHN: you’re welcome! ANYWAYS, karkat is mopier and swears less creatively, and dirk and jane are…dictators???
ROSE: That seems to be the direction things are going.
JOHN: okay, so how do we fix it? because it SUCKS.
ROSE: Simple. We go back, and we finish our arcs.
JOHN: so you’re saying that not addressing our personal flaws has made them worse?!
JOHN: i don’t even know why you’re even bringing up this “canon” stuff when this seems like it’s pretty obviously our problem.
ROSE: It’s all connected.
ROSE: SBURB was supposed to be a collaborative game. And our solution to getting close and failing to get a cheat code in your retcon powers, and in Vriska.
ROSE: Her plans were intelligent in the short term, but in the long term they were disastrous. Our reward was tainted.
ROSE: I firmly believe we had the strategy and the ability to win that game if we genuinely wanted to. We just chose to hack and slash our way to the easiest ending possible. We are paying the price for that now.
ROSE: Lord English isn’t done with us yet. I don’t know how, or why, but his talons are reaching into this session in ways even I couldn’t have predicted.
ROXY: …
ROXY: callie u were rite :O
CALLIOPE: i was?
ROSE: I have a suspicion that Dirk is becoming his ultimate self, and if that is correct, I believe one of his alternates was a part of Doc Scratch. I’ve been seeing a slow change. I didn’t want to believe it at first, but I am familiar with the man. I know him when I see him.
ROXY: :O
ROXY: oh no!
ROXY: what about jane?
ROSE: I don’t know. From what I saw, the tiara was disabled, but she’s acting as if it wasn’t.
ARADIA: disabled by who
ROXY: uh 1 of the sprites the combo of hal n uh…
ROXY: the other voidey troll i think
ARADIA: ...
ARADIA: oh my god
ROSE: What?
ARADIA: i have a feeling that tiara might not have been fully disabled
ROXY: omg WHAT
ROXY: i mean hal was always up to his little schemes but i feel like THATS a bit of a stretch
ROXY: what motivation would he possibly have had 2 make jane a crazy dictator
ARADIA: well keep in mind its not just hal
ARADIA: and equius um
ARADIA: while he was never outright villainous he was a bit... shortsighted
ARADIA: to the point of being actively stupid and selfish at times
ARADIA: nepeta did a good job keeping him down to earth but if shes gone and hes fused with a guy people are calling a schemer thats pretty ominous
ARADIA: and equius would have had motivations to keep jane crockertier
ARADIA: ill just leave it at that
ARADIA: i feel like he deserves to keep his dignity
ARADIA: or whats left of it anyways
ROSE: A valiant sentiment. I suppose my thirst for gossip will have to remain unquenched.
ROSE: Well John, now that you know the stakes, I feel like your choice is obvious.
ARADIA: unfortunately i think so

John gapes at Aradia.

JOHN: wow, what?
JOHN: i thought you were more of a “this is just the fate of the universe” kind of a person.
ARADIA: oh i was
ARADIA: and to an extent i still am
ARADIA: but its not like ive been living under a rock for the last few years
ARADIA: so many were crushed under the fist of my home planet
ARADIA: death might be part of life
ARADIA: but to watch earth slide into becoming another alternia
ARADIA: i cant bare to see that
ARADIA: even if it goes against every fiber of my nature
ARADIA: i am willing to help you destroy lord english
ROXY: i feel like it might b 2 risky 4 john 2 leave us rn
ROXY: what with all our friends spiraling
ROSE: I don’t think we have another choice.
ROXY: r u sure?
ROSE: Well, ignoring the problem will only make it worse. If the universe is falling apart now imagine what it will be like in 20 years.
ROSE: Whatever mold is growing now will only have time and warmth to fester.
JOHN: i mean, i don’t think we have to do NOTHING...
JOHN: but i agree with roxy just going full force and fighting LE head on would take YEARS of planning.
JOHN: i mean not to pretend i don’t have a stake in all of this, but and if i die we lose our retcon powers.
JOHN: is there any third option?
ROXY: weren’t we talkin abt him not existing in the first place
ROXY: it would solve a lot of problems

The five of them exchange glances and a moment of silence.

ROSE: Would that even work?
ARADIA: i mean
ARADIA: probably not
ARADIA: his existence is paradoxical
ARADIA: but our best option would be to try and win a session without his key components and see what happens.
ROSE: Gamzee and Caliborn are impossible to kill. I know nothing about Equius or Hal, as I never met them, but stopping that combination would at least be a good place to start.
ROSE: So that would mean all sprites are prototyped. Equius being alive and Hal having a body would be helpful, but it isn’t strictly necessary.
CALLIOPE: i think that’s a good idea, he seemed so excited aboUt it.
ROXY: aw callie ur so right that he would b so happy
ROXY: and i bet that would be better 4 every1 bc all the confusion btwn him n dirk was driving jake up a gdamn wall
JOHN: so how much are we changing? i mean you guys know better than i do but it seems like we’re already really screwing with things if we’re bringing back trolls that weren’t even in the session.
ROSE: Your abilities seem to have an overriding impact on the whole doomed/alpha timeline dichotomy. I doubt this will doom whatever timeline you’re creating automatically.
ARADIA: but that doesnt mean theres no cost
ARADIA: after we do this this universe may no longer exist
ARADIA: that includes all of you
ROXY: i dont know. i would be willing to make that sacrifice but i am not sure anyone else would be
ROXY: rose?
ROSE: It’s too late.
ROSE: The fact that we’re having this conversation at all means we’ve passed the point of no return.
ROSE: There is no path forward. We either lose ourselves slowly, in an agonizing way, or our universe crashes and burns.

Rose closes her eyes, leaning back. The combination of the magic and the heaviness of the conversation clearly took a toll on her.

ROSE: I’d like to see Kanaya again. I may be destined to abandon her, but I’d like to make our last moments count. Let’s get there the old fashioned way, though. By car.

There’s a long pause. A moment of forlorn silence, before Roxy starts to solemnly pack up the picnic. Calliope seems frozen, slowly twirling the ring of life on her finger before she stops, taking a deep breath.

CALLIOPE: john, if yoU are really going to do this, i think yoU’re going to need this.

Calliope puts her hand in Roxy’s. Roxy looks confused, before it dawns on her and tears well in her eyes.

ROXY: callie no!

The cherub shakes her head, a sad, forced smile on her face.

CALLIOPE: roxy, i have to. this ring is too important, it might be the only way yoU all can make it oUt alive.
CALLIOPE: bUt john?
CALLIOPE: Can yoU promise me something?

There’s a fire in her eyes that John has never seen before. She’s resolute.

JOHN: yeah.
CALLIOPE: if yoU’re able to find that chain in my bedroom…
CALLIOPE: break it.

John nods, solemnly .

JOHN: got it.

CALLIOPE: okay, then.
CALLIOPE: goodbye roxy.

Roxy hesitates, tears overflowing now. and for a moment it seems like she won’t be able to do it. But the fire in Calliope's eyes is unmistakable. Roxy can’t resist it, she caves. She removes the ring of life from Calliope's finger. Calliope falls into her arms, lifeless, and Roxy clutches her, sobbing. But even her body doesn’t last, it fades in her arms until Roxy is clutching herself instead, practically screaming. Rose uses the last of her strength to comfort her, and they both lie together on the blanket, Rose wiping the tears from her face.

ROXY: i cant believe she’s gone
ROSE: I know.

Rose coaches Roxy through her sobs, their heads pressed together. Soon, they’re both crying.

ARADIA: john i think this is our cue to go
JOHN: alright, um.
JOHN: bye, everyone.
JOHN: i’ll see you soon.
ROSE: You probably won’t. But, still. It was nice knowing you, John. And if it’s any consolation, you’re doing the right thing.

Rose hands the ring to John. Roxy squeezes his hand, and they stay there for a moment before he pulls away. John takes it upon himself to finish packing up everything but the blanket. Roxy motions for him to take the food, and he does, leaving the basket with Roxy’s car keys on top of the empty basket. Guess it was a good thing she got her license, after all.

John exhales, and looks over Aradia, who holds her hand up for a fistbump, which John reluctantly returns. And with that, the two of them Zap on out of there.

Chapter 2: Terezi's list

TEREZI: SO WH4T YOUR3 S4Y1NG 1S
TEREZI: 1 FUCK3D UP

The three of them are in fuck knows where, Paradox Space, and Terezi is absolutely devouring Calliope’s leftovers in the driver's seat of Dad Egbert’s car. John is understandably nervous.

ARADIA: you did the best you could with the information you had at the time
TEREZI: L1ST3N YOU DONT N33D TO SUG4R CO4T 1T B3C4US3 1 KNOW TH4TS A TOT4l L13

She says, in between mouthfuls of cinnamon gummies.

TEREZI: 1 4LR34DY KNOW WH4T 1 D1D WRONG
JOHN: didn’t you already have me correct your mistakes? i thought that was the whole point?
TEREZI: Y3S
TEREZI: 4ND YOU D1D CORR3CT TH3M
TEREZI: YOU CORR3CT3D MY M1ST4K3S
TEREZI: WH1CH 1S 3X4CTLY HOW 1 FUCK3D UP
TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT
TEREZI: (L1K3 4N 1DIOT)
TEREZI: TH4T 1F 1 JUST 4JUST3D FOR MY OWN BLUND3RS 3V3RYTH1NG WOULD B3 F1N3
TEREZI: BUT 1N R3TROSP3CT TH4T W4S V3RY STUP1D
TEREZI: TH4T CLOWN GOT UND3R MY SK1N MOR3 TH4N 1 THOUGHT
TEREZI: TH3 TRUTH 1S 4LL OF US 4CT3D L1K3 MORONS TH4T D4Y 4ND W3 4LL P41D TH3 PR1C3
TEREZI: MURD3ROUS R4MP4G3S AS1DE CHO1C3S W3R3 M4D3
TEREZI: HORR1BL3 STUP1D CHO1C3S

Terezi looks at Aradia, and snorts.

TEREZI: YOU W3R3NT 3V3N TH3R3 FOR MOST OF 1T
ARADIA: i heard about it though
TEREZI: SO YOU 4GR33 W1TH M3

Aradia laughs, sighing.

ARADIA: i mean back then i would have felt powerless to stop it
ARADIA: our naivety was built into the fabric of the game
ARADIA: i sort of rationalized it by telling myself we were never meant to truly succeed
ARADIA: but knowing what i know now
ARADIA: yeah we were acting like morons

Terezi turns to John, and hands him a piece of paper.

TEREZI: 1 4LR34DY H4V3 4 L1ST FOR YOU
TEREZI: SO GO KNOCK SOM3 S3NS3 1NTO THOS3 LOS3RS >:]
TEREZI: NOW 1F YOU DONT M1ND
TEREZI: 1M GONN4 GO CR4SH YOUR D4DS C4R

And with that, Terezi reaches over John’s lap and opens the door, unbuckles his seatbelt, and shoves him out of the car. Aradia jumps out with him. Before John even has time to react, she’s revving the engine.

JOHN: actually, i do mind? what the fuck!?!?!?
TEREZI: BY3

And with that, Terezi speeds off into the distance. John stares, open-mouthed, before trying to fly after her, but Aradia holds him back, her wings fluttering like a hummingbird and ruffling John’s hair.

JOHN: what?! no!!! aradia let go of me!!!

John struggles against her, but it’s no use.

ARADIA: youve got the list
JOHN: yeah i have the stupid list! let go of me! i gotta go after her.
ARADIA: no you dont
ARADIA: lets go

John relents, snorting in indignation.

JOHN: ugh! fine!!!!
ARADIA: alright! now lets have a look at our first item

The two of them stare at the list, written in messy ink. John sighs. She's being cryptic again. Isn't this how they ran into this problem in the first place? It must be some sort of ego thing. Or just the thrill of the mystery. Mysteries are only cool if you can solve them, and that's never really been John's strong suit. He's capable of it, sure, but he'd rather cut to the chase. This is all just a little bit too much.

K1DS 4R3 MORONS:

4PR1L(4) 13 = 4K 13Y
JUN3(6) 12 = 12T 6S
6 + 12 = 18
8.413S > 18Y < 19Y

>:]

ARADIA: wow
ARADIA: i mean thats a big ask.

John looks over Aradia’s shoulder at the list, and raises a brow.

JOHN: i don’t even understand why she has to be so cryptic.
JOHN: what is she trying to say?
ARADIA: she wants us to interfere so the game starts later
ARADIA: almost two and a half sweeps later
JOHN: uh… that sounds like a terrible idea. won’t that fuck everything up big time?
ARADIA: im assuming she wouldnt have put it in here if it did
ARADIA: shes the seer and im guessing shes thought about this pretty thoroughly
ARADIA: if this works it will really help us
ARADIA: she said it herself kids are morons
ARADIA: besides paradox space is surprisingly self stabilizing
ARADIA: so much is out of our control
ARADIA: and this action is so passive that i wouldnt be surprised if it doesnt change anything at all up until the point where we REALLY start messing things up
JOHN: i don't know, i changed a LOT between 13 and 18. i’m basically an entirely different person.
ARADIA: well you also had a bunch of stuff happen in those five years
ARADIA: again i think this is worth a shot
ARADIA: doc scratch put us at a disadvantage by having us start the game so young and as far as im concerned were just evening out the playing field
ARADIA: i would trust terezi
JOHN: are you sure that's a good idea?!
ARADIA: lets at least see how things play out
ARADIA: if it goes poorly ill just doom the timeline to work around the whole denizen problem and we can try again
JOHN: that’s your plan!?!? to just kill everyone!?!?!?
ARADIA: pretty much
ARADIA: ive done it before
JOHN: holy shit! what?
ARADIA: if it makes you feel any better ive gotten very good at causing painless death so nobody is going to suffer
JOHN: it doesn’t!
ARADIA: well maybe youll change your mind once we get started
ARADIA: off we go!

Despite...that comment (she's not serious, she's definitely joking), John is thankful for Aradia. The combination of their abilities made this task easy for them, and she knew the trolls much better than he did, so she was better equipped to make the more personal changes. Most of them, anyway. Dave almost never used his time powers, so John didn't get to see them, and action outside of finishing the game, and seeing a time player at the height of their craft was truly incredible. Aradia was practiced; she measured a million times before cutting once. The differences were careful, postponing the finding of the game. Postponing the team charge disaster, postponing her own death, and finally, postponing John’s birthday present. She was right. Paradox Space continuously righted itself as Aradia predicted. If anything, it was almost too easy. Eventually, the two of them found themselves in the final four hours, standing together on the roof of the meteor.

ARADIA: i think its best if we split up here
ARADIA: i should stay out of this as much as possible, people knowing im alive will really throw a wrench in things
ARADIA: you deal with tavros nepeta and eridan
ARADIA: ill deal with jade and then come back
JOHN: jade?
ARADIA: yeah i think it would be a good idea to have all of our planets
ARADIA: in case of emergency
ARADIA: try to resist intervening as much as possible, stick to the list.
JOHN: alright.

John’s now acutely aware of the pit opening up in his stomach. What the hell had he gotten himself into?

Chapter 3: M4K3 T4VROS TO S1T TH3 FUCK DOWN

John finds Tavros at the bottom of the stairs. Shaking his head, he sits down next to the other boy. Tavros is shockingly unfazed by John zapping in. Tavros really reminds John of Jake. They both have this air about them that makes people want to help when they’re down and out, a thing that happens frequently for both of them. While some people (meaning, Vriska) might dismiss this as an annoying weakness, John had actually learned to appreciate it. He’s thankful, he’s kind. Nice people always had good things to say about Tavros, and over the years John’s learned that what nice people have to say about you is one of the most important indications of someone’s character.

JOHN: hi, tavros.
TAVROS: hI,
TAVROS: aRE YOU JADE’S BROTHER,
JOHN: yes?
TAVROS: cAN YOU UM,
TAVROS: mAYBE TELL HER i’M SORRY FOR THE WHOLE LOVE CONFESSION THING, i’M KIND OF EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT NOW,,,

John facepalms. Well, he never said either of them made it easy for themselves.

JOHN: oh my god, i don’t have time for this.
TAVROS: oH,
TAVROS: nEVERMIND,
TAVROS: iS IT OKAY IF i ASK WHY YOU’RE HERE, sINCE IT SEEMS SO IMPORTANT,
JOHN: i’m here to tell you not to kill vriska.
TAVROS: hOW DID YOU KNOW THAT,
TAVROS: dID SHE TELL YOU,
JOHN: kind of? she didn’t send me, though. aradia and terezi did.
TAVROS: aRADIA,
TAVROS: tHAT MEANS SHE’S OKAY THEN,
JOHN: apparently she had a quest bed on derse or some thing nobody knew about.
TAVROS: oH, OKAY,
TAVROS: tHERE ARE SOME PROBLEMS THOUGH,
JOHN: like what?
TAVROS: i THINK i KIND OF,,, HAVE TO KILL VRISKA,,,
TAVROS: i’M NOT EVEN SURE I EVEN,,, uH, WANT TO,
TAVROS: sHE AND I SORT OF BONDED IN A WAY I WASN’T EXPECTING,
TAVROS: cONSIDERING THAT SHE DID PRETTY MUCH PUSH ME OFF A CLIFF WITH HER POWERS,
TAVROS: bUT I DON’T THINK I HAVE A CHOICE,
TAVROS: sHE KIND OF RUINED EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE,
TAVROS: aND NOW THAT I HAVE MY CONFIDENCE,
TAVROS: (sORT OF),
TAVROS: i HAVE TO FINALLY PUT A STOP TO IT,

Tavros starts to pull himself up, and fails. John lends him a hand, and they both lean up against the wall.

JOHN: do you actually think you can do that?
TAVROS: iF i AM BEING HONEST
TAVROS: pROBABLY NOT,
TAVROS: aCTUALLY ALMOST DEFINITELY NOT,
TAVROS: bUT i HAVE TO TRY,
JOHN: wait, so you’re telling me that you know you can’t defeat her?
TAVROS: yES,
JOHN: do you... think you’re going to survive???

Tavros looks at the ground, shoulders slouched.

TAVROS: nO,
JOHN: so... why are you doing this again?
TAVROS: bECAUSE,,,
TAVROS: ,,,
TAVROS: i DON'T KNOW,
TAVROS: i GUESS IT’S WHAT RUFIOH WOULD WANT ME TO DO,

John raises an eyebrow.

JOHN: rufioh?
JOHN: like, the character from the movie hook?
TAVROS: nO, LIKE THE EMBODIMENT OF MY CONFIDENCE,
JOHN: so, your imaginary friend?
TAVROS: yES, BUT i KNOW HE’S NOT REAL,
TAVROS: hE’S JUST A GUY IN MY HEAD THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER SOMETIMES,
JOHN: let me get this straight.
JOHN: you’re going to fight vriska.
TAVROS: yES,
JOHN: a thing you know you can’t do and that will also probably kill you.
TAVROS: aLSO YES,
JOHN: because your imaginary friend, who you made up, MIGHT tell you to do it, if he were real.
TAVROS: ,,,
JOHN: are you sure it’s not because vriska told you you should do it?
TAVROS: tHAT MIGHT ALSO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT,

John sighs, shaking his head. He wished he'd been nicer to Tavros when they had met in the dreambubbles. The fact that Vriska had STILL been harassing him even after she had killed him was fucking pathetic. There was a part of it John could understand, Tavros obviously had bad judgement, and there was a part of him that did want to knock some sense into the guy, but this wasn't the way to do it. Tavros might be good natured and forgiving, but that didn't mean that what Vriska had done didn't have an impact. It clearly did. Tavros was completely unable to set boundaries with her.

JOHN: listen, dude.
JOHN: don’t take this the wrong way, but i’m not sure that there’s any thing you can do that will make vriska respect you.
JOHN: and that’s not because of any thing you did wrong!
JOHN: it’s because SHE’S an asshole!

Tavros exhales, a cross between relief and resignation. John puts a comforting hand on his shoulder, and Tavros leans on John, angling his head so that his horns don't hit him. God, what a sweet kid. It’s amazing that after everything he’s been through, he’s still so trusting of someone he just met.

TAVROS: i KNOW,
TAVROS: tO BE TOTALLY HONEST,
TAVROS: i DON’T REALLY CARE THAT VRISKA DOESN’T LIKE ME,
TAVROS: aS IN, IT DOESN’T HURT MY FEELINGS OR ANYTHING, WHEN SHE SAYS I’M WEAK,
TAVROS: bECAUSE I KIND OF KNOW IT'S MORE ABOUT HER THAN IT IS ABOUT ME,
TAVROS: iT'S JUST,,,i THOUGHT THAT WE’D SORT OF FIGURED IT OUT,
TAVROS: bUT NOW I’M AFRAID I MADE THINGS WORSE,
JOHN: i mean, yeah. that’s sort of the problem. engaging with her just makes her feel like she’s doing some thing right.
JOHN: have you tried just ignoring her?
TAVROS: i MEAN, I’VE TRIED AVOIDING HER,
JOHN: no not like, avoiding her, ignoring her.
JOHN: just not showing up to fight her at all.
TAVROS: ,,,
JOHN: i mean there’s gotta be other people that are worth hanging out with instead.
TAVROS: wELL i MEAN,
TAVROS: tHERE IS SOMEONE,
TAVROS: sOMEONE I ACTUALLY JUST REJECTED,
TAVROS: bUT NOW THAT I’M THINKING ABOUT IT,
TAVROS: i THINK I MESSED UP,
TAVROS: wE REALLY HAD FUN TOGETHER, AND IF HE WANTS TO TRY BEING IN A QUADRANT,,,
TAVROS: i THINK I SHOULD GIVE HIM A CHANCE,
TAVROS: bECAUSE PART OF LEARNING TO BE CONFIDENT IS LEARNING TO TAKE CHANCES,
JOHN: yeah, that’s the spirit!
TAVROS: yOU KNOW WHAT,
TAVROS: i’M GONNA FIND HIM RIGHT NOW,
TAVROS: i THINK HE NEEDS ME,
TAVROS: bYE JOHN!
TAVROS: aND THANKS, FOR EVERYTHING,,,
JOHN: you’re welcome, man.

 

John smiles as he zaps out. God, why hadn’t they done this earlier? Honestly, based on how this was going, he really didn’t see what could possibly go wrong.

Chapter 4: L8

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]

AG: Oh.
AG: My.
AG: Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!!!!!!!!
AG: I can’t 8ELIEVE THIS!!!!!!!!
AG: After EVERYTHING! After all of your posturing and fe8gning and f8king, you STILL fl8ke on me!
AG: You’re so frustr8ing, I can’t t8ke it anymore!!!!!!!!
AG: Why is nothing I ever do enough!? I feel like I’ve tried everything! It’s ridiculous!
AG: We almost had a 8r8kthrough, a real one! And here you are, running away like some stupid cluck8east!
AG: I’ve 8een w8ing up here for HOURS, Tavros!
AG: Time is RUNNING OUT!
AG: Fuck it, fuck this.
AG: I give up, you win.
AG: If you want to stay weak, if you want to 8e a loser!
AG: 8E MY GUEST!
AG: 8ecause i’m done w8sting my time!
AG: Do you hear me?
AG: Done!!!!!!!!

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]

AG: Also, here's a pro-tip. May8e next time, if you're trying to ignore someone, may8e think about 8locking them first, dum8ass. Kind of a stupid move on your part.
AG: That is what you're doing? Right? You are ignoring me?
AG: 8ecause if that is what you're doing it wouldn't kill you to give me a heads up a8out it. Just for posterity's s8ke.
AG: Ugh fine whatever, I don't care.

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]

AG: Hello????????
AG: Are you online? Why does it say you're offline? You're never offline, not even when you're l8zing around on prospit.
AG: What the fuck is going on?
AG: Did something happen to your phone????????
AG: ........????????
AG: Oh, shit.

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]

Chapter 5: Search and Rescue

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]

AG: Heeeeeeeey~
AG: Just a quick question.
AG: Have you seen Tavros?
CG: NOPE, FUCK OFF. I’M NOT DOING THIS TODAY, OR EVER. IF YOU TWO NOOKMUNCHERS WANNA HAVE YOUR SICK LITTLE FUCKING DYNAMIC, FINE. GOD KNOWS NOBODY CAN FUCKING STOP YOU, BUT FOR FUCKS LEAVE ME THE HELL OUT OF IT.
AG: Hm, that doesn’t sound very leaderly of you. I thought you were supposed to 8e taking care of us. Herding us like a little 8arkbeast.
AG: I, for one, don’t feel very cared for.
AG: 8esides, I think he’s done with me forever. I just got stood up. He just didn’t have the 8alls to face me. I should have known.
CG: GOOD. YOU DESERVE IT. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU’RE MESSAGING ME OTHER THAN TO BRIGHTEN MY DAY, BECAUSE IF THAT’S THE CASE, IT’S TOO LATE. YOU ALREADY RUINED IT BY SPEAKING TO ME.
AG: Again, not very supportive.
CG: AGAIN, DON’T CARE.
AG: Besides, I’m not trying to get 8ack with him. I’m done too. I just want to make sure that moron didn’t fall down a flight of stairs and 8r8k his neck instead of his legs this time.
AG: (8ecause if he did, I’d 8e really disappointed if I didn’t get to see it myself.)
CG: I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO DIGNIFY THAT BULLSHIT WITH A RESPONSE. I’M SURE HE’S JUST IGNORING YOU, WHICH HE SHOULD BE DOING, BECAUSE YOU SUCK.
AG: Okay, well, can you at least check if he’s ignoring YOU?
CG: WHY DO YOU CARE. SHOULDN’T YOU BE GLAD TO NOT SEE HIM AGAIN?
AG: Ugh, quit stalling and check for me, won’t you. I’m not asking that much.
CG: FINE.
AG: Thank you. <33333333
CG: OH GOD, JUST GIVE ME A SECOND SO I CAN FINISH VOMITING.
AG: You really need to get 8etter at receiving affection.

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]

Karkat takes a deep sigh and steps away from his computer, rubbing his temples. He’s exhausted. The kind of tiredness that physically hurts, and the stress wasn’t helping. Why did everyone have to fuck off the moment Aradia exploded? Was it too much to ask these morons that they all just stick together for once? For a few fucking hours? It’s ridiculous.

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board TEAM ADORABLOODTHIRSTY.
CCG: ALRIGHT SO JUST A HEADS UP THIS IS GOING TO BE A QUICK MEMO AND I DON’T WANT ANY OF YOU DUBMFUCKS CLOGGING IT UP AGAIN.
CCG: I AM LOOKING FOR CURRENT INFORMATION, SO ANYONE FROM THE PAST IS GOING TO BE IMMEDIATELY BANNED, BECAUSE I, AS PER FUCKING USUAL DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR FUCKING AROUND.
PAST gallowsCalibrator [PGC] 4:13 HOURS AGO responded to memo
PGC: OH MY GOD 1 C4NT B3L13VE W3 4R3 ST1LL DO1NG TH1S
PAST centaursTesticle [PCT] 3:14 HOURS AGO responded to memo
PCT: D -–> I agree
PCT: D -–> This is getting abs00100tly redic00lous
CCG banned PCT from responding to the memo
CCG banned PGC from responding to the memo
CCG: THE ONLY THING THATS FUCKING REDICULOUS IS YOU PEOPLE’S BATSHIT TENACITY WHEN IT COMES TO NOT FOLLOWING BASIC FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS.
CCG: LET’S TRY THIS AGAIN.
CCG: TO ANY OF THE *CURRENT* TROLLS. AS IN RIGHT NOW.
CCG: BECAUSE APPARENTLY I HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY AGONIZING EXISTENCE SPELLING THINGS OUT.
CCG: HAVE YOU SEEN TAVROS?
PAST adiosToreador [PAT] 10:25 HOURS AGO responded to the memo.
PAT: oH SORRY,
PAT: i’M RIGHT HERE,
CCG: HOLY SHIT. I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF.
CCG banned PAT from responding to memo

Karkat bangs his head on the table, and the other trolls look at him, concerned. Kanaya, who is currently messaging Jade, gives him a sympathetic frown.

KANAYA: I Havent Seen Him
KANAYA: And I Have Spent Some Time Exploring These Passages
KANAYA: It Might Be Useful To Message People Privately
FEFERI: Sollux and I )(aven't sean )(im bass t)(roug)( eit)(er.
SOLLUX:oh god, plea2e tell me he diidn't end up gettiing iintwo 2ome 2hiit wiith vrii2ka agaiin.
KARKAT: YOU SAY THAT AS IF IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE. APPARENTLY THEY WERE ABOUT TO HAVE SOME BIG SHOWDOWN, BUT I GUESS HIS ONE REMAINING BRAIN CELL ACTUALLY DECIDED TO FIRE THIS TIME AND HE DIDN’T SHOW UP. SHE JUST MESSAGED ME TO WHINE ABOUT IT.
SOLLUX: okay two thiing2:
SOLLUX: fiir2t of all, fuckiing fiinally.
SOLLUX: 2econd of all, you are a dumba22 iif you are takiing that at face value.
SOLLUX: not two be a downer, but iid 2tart lookiing for a corp2e.

Karkat tries, and fails to conceal his panic. He hadn’t wanted to admit it, but the ever deepening pit in his stomach was threatening to break his resolve. The only thing giving him any comfort was how unlike Vriska it was to try and cover her tracks like this. But that might just be her getting smarter. Establishing an alibi so it would look like he just disappeared out of nowhere. As if no one would suspect it was her. That alone was hilarious, and if Karkat was in a better mood, he might have actually laughed aloud.

FEFERI: Are you S)(ore he’s not with Gamzee?
KARKAT: NO, BUT NOBODY HAS SEEN HIM EITHER.
KARKAT: I SHOULD PROBABLY CHECK IN.

carcinoGeneticist[CG] began trolling terminallyCapricious[TC]
CG: OKAY SO BEFORE I COMPLETELY FLY OFF THE HANDLE.
CG: I KNOW THAT THERE’S A VERY POSSIBLE CHANCE THAT YOU AND TAVROS ARE JUST FUCKING AROUND PLAYING STUPID CARD GAMES, RAPPING, OR DOING SOME OTHER INANE SHIT.
CG: AND IF THAT'S THE CASE, CAN YOU AT LEAST TELL ME?
CG: BECAUSE IT’S BEEN A REALLY LONG TIME SINCE ANYONE HAS HEARD FROM EITHER OF YOU AND I’M HONESTLY STARTING TO GET WORRIED.
CG: I KNOW YOU’RE PROBABLY SLEEPING OR JUST HIGH OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND.
CG: BUT SHIT IS KIND OF GOING DOWN RIGHT NOW, SO IF YOU COULD JUST PULL IT TOGETHER FOR A FEW HOURS...
CG: I’D GENUINELY APPRECIATE THAT.
CG: …
CG: GOD WHY DO I EVEN FUCKING BOTHER.

He furrows his brows, already feeling guilty for that last message. For all he knows, Vriska had killed both of them and he was bitching to a corpse. The memo lights up again.

CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAC: :33 < *ac sniffs the air thoughtfurry, but comes up empty*
CAC: :33 < im sorry karkat!
CAC: :33 < equius and i havent s33n paws or tails of him since he finished with tavros’s legs!
CAC: :33 < but purrhaps you could message gamz33 he might know!
CCG: YEAH ,I’VE BEEN TRYING TO DO THAT BUT HE’S NOT RESPONDING.
CAC: :33 < hm
CAC: :33 < well i just asked equius fur advice and he told you not to bother him
CCG: TELL HIM I SAID HE SHOULD GO FUCK HIMSELF.
CAC: :33 < ://
CAC: :33 < well i hope efurrything turns out okay!
CCG: ALRIGHT EVERYONE, I’VE GOT EVERYTHING I NEEDED. I’M CLOSING THIS MEMO.
CCG closed memo.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]

AG: Soooooooo........
CG: WHAT.
AG: So did you hear from him?
CG: NO, AND NOBODY ELSE HAS HEARD FROM HIM EITHER.
CG: VRISKA WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
AG: What do you mean? That’s what I’m asking you!
CG: BULLSHIT. HOW DO I KNOW YOU’RE NOT JUST TRYING TO COVER YOUR TRACKS?
AG: Cover my tracks???????? What the fuck are you accusing me of????????
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I’M ACCUSING YOU OF? YOU’RE TELLING ME TAVROS SAYS HE’S GOING TO COME FIGHT YOU AND ALL OF A SUDDEN HE’S MISSING!?
AG: You’re saying I killed Tavros? Ok8y, here’s a question: If I had, why would we 8e having this conver8ion? That wouldn’t 8e very intelligent of me, would it?
CG: I DON’T KNOW, BECAUSE YOU’RE SOME SORT OF SICK FUCK WHO GETS OFF ON PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY? IT’S FUCKING BAFFLING THAT YOU’RE EVEN SURPRISED BY THIS. EVERYONE KNEW THIS SHIT WAS COMING. YOU MOST OF ALL.
AG: What the hell Karkat????????
AG: I can’t 8ELIEVE this! I came to you, asking for YOUR HELP and THIS IS THE TH8NKS I GET!?!?!?!?!
AG: Fuck you!!!!!!!!
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE. FUCK IT. I’LL LOOK FOR HIM, BUT IF I FIND HIS FUCKING CORPSE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD VRISKA.
AG: Good! Gr8! Have fun vindic8ing me!
AG: Asshole.

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]

He paces around the room so fast it borders on a light jog, hands enmeshed in his hair. He just needs to sleep. Just one good night of sleep and he’d be able to figure all of this out, somehow. Maybe he’d just wake up to Tavros next to him, playing Fiduspawn, just in time for him to get shit on by one of those horrible monsters. That fantasy seemed to him equally likely as rest itself.

KANAYA: Are You Alright
KARKAT: I AM NO WHERE FUCKING CLOSE TO ALRIGHT. WE HAVEN’T EVEN BEEN ON THIS METEOR FOR TEN FUCKING HOURS AND THINGS ARE ALREADY GOING TO SHIT.

Karkat exhales, his breath shaking a little.

KARKAT: ALRIGHT.
KARKAT: KANAYA, YOU MAN THE FORT WHILE I GO TRY AND FIND TAVROS.
KANAYA: I Actually Need To Take Care Of Something
KANAYA: Would It Be Possible To Delegate This Task To Someone Else
KARKAT: CAN IT WAIT?
KANAYA: I Suppose It Can
KANAYA: But Not For Long, I Am Not Sure I Can Put The Matriorb Back In My Sylladex
KARKAT: GODDAMNIT, OKAY.

The two are interrupted when the transportalizer flashes and Eridan walks up to Karkat, cape billowing behind him. He’s ridiculous. Gaudy and ridiculous, especially with those stupid rings, Karkat thinks to himself. And yet, Karkat likes him anyway. He likes Eridan more than he likes most people, even he isn’t entirely sure why. He duly notes that they may as well be pale at this point, and wonders why he’s holding back. Eridan seems to care what he thinks. Enough that he’s willing to put aside the whole sea dweller thing, which does mean a lot even if it’s most likely because no one better will speak to him.

ERIDAN: wwhat the hell is goin on
KARKAT: TAVROS IS MISSING.
ERIDAN: wwait seriously you gotta be kiddin me
ERIDAN: howw the hell does someone go missin here this place is so fuckin cramped
KANAYA: Its Actually Quite Labyrinthian Once You Take Into Account All The Different Floors
KANAYA: I Can See How Someone Can Become Disoriented
ERIDAN: typical
ERIDAN: wwe should havve nevver givven him legs if he wwas gonna use them to get fuckin lost
KANAYA: I Didnt Realize You Were Involved

Eridan snorts.

ERIDAN: anywways
ERIDAN: kar i really need your help with somethin
KARKAT: WHAT?
ERIDAN: basically im feelin like shit right noww and i really need someone to talk to about it

That’s why. Because it never fucking ends with him. There’s never a time or a place. Never in his life has Eridan had so much as an inkling that it would be better for everyone for him to hold back and try coddling his own feelings for once. Not even during an emergency. Karkat could tolerate the pretentiousness, and he’d be the world’s biggest hypocrite if he called out Eridan for being an asshole, but god dammit it was almost impressive how needy he was.

KARKAT: WHY DOES EVERYONE NEED ME TO BE HERE RIGHT THIS FUCKING SECOND?
KARKAT: I AM GONNA LOOK FOR AN HOUR. WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME ANYWAYS. CAN YOU WAIT UNTIL I GET BACK?
ERIDAN: i mean not really im fuckin going through it right now

Fuck. He’s insatiable.

KARKAT: WELL, DO YOU WANT TO COME WITH ME?

It's not that Karkat isn't willing to help, it's that he doesn't have time to help. A part of him actually likes listening to Eridan's problems, if nothing else it was a distraction from his own. It's just...fuck! Tavros could be dead! He knows it's just going to be more romantic winging, which again, was fine, but it was in no way more important than Tavros's life.

ERIDAN: no
ERIDAN: also nevvermind
ERIDAN: i’vve got something to take care of here anywways

Eridan scowls at him. Karkat considered losing his shit right then and there. Fucking seriously? After everything Karkat had done for him? Did it all mean nothing if he couldn’t be there every single fucking second!? Karkat could say what he wanted about Equius (perverted, elitist, hypocrital, humorless, all true things), but at least Equius fucking TRIED to control himself. Nepeta didn’t have to be there CONSTANTLY in order for him not to lose his shit. Besides, they were wasting precious time having this argument. One of their Teammates was potentially dead. It actually might have been helpful to have Eridan there in case Vriska showed up, but apparently that was too much for his ego to bear. He’d rather sit and sulk in the lab. Fine.

KARKAT: WELL I’M LEAVING.
KARKAT: IF I’M NOT BACK IN AN HOUR.

Karkat falters. Was this even a good idea? No, fuck that, he’s already committed.

KARKAT: ASSUME I DIED.
KANAYA: Are You Sure You Dont Want Help

It was a really tempting offer, but no. Kanaya needed to stay in the room as a neutral party to make sure these stupid fuckers didn’t kill eachother.

KARKAT: JUST STAY HERE FOR NOW.

Kanaya clutches the matriorb close to her chest, and nods solemnly. Karkat nods back, and heads to the transportalizer.

Chapter 6: K1CK 3RID4N 1N TH3 B4LLS FOR M3

Not ten seconds pass between the time that Karkat left the room and the time when John walks in and gives Eridan a hearty knee in the crotch. The kick was swift, strong, and devoid of any personal animosity. John had no fucking clue who this guy was, only that he was 1) dead in both of his timelines and 2) enough of an asshole that nobody wanted to reminisce about him for long. This was taking care of business. Eridan screams and crumples in on himself, and the three other trolls stare at him, open-mouthed. Sollux grins.

SOLLUX: niice.
ERIDAN: shut your fuckin face sol

John clears his throat, retrieving the list from his sylladex.

KANAYA: Are You The John Human
JOHN: yeah?
KANAYA: How Did You Get Here
JOHN: oh. right! uh, i got special powers in the future, i’m here to make sure you guys don’t die.
KANAYA: Oh
KANAYA: Well Thank You
ERIDAN: wwhat the hell does kickin me in the bulge have to do with savving our lives
SOLLUX: other than iit beiing hiilariiou2?
JOHN: i don’t know. i wasn’t the one deciding what to do. that was future terezi. she made me this list of things to do and this is one of them.
ERIDAN: wwhy

John shrugs.

JOHN: i mean it’s probably because you’re a douche bag, based on what i’ve heard other people say.
JOHN: oh, yeah also the next thing on this list is me telling you not to try and join jack noir.
JOHN: so maybe that has some thing to do with it.

Without speaking, Feferi gets up from the hornpile, marches over to Eridan, and delivers a fully wound backhand to the mouth. Eridan’s glasses fly across the room.

FEFERI: E-ridan you )(ave got to be squidding me!
ERIDAN: WWHAT THE HELL FEF!?
FEFERI: Don’t “wwhat t)(e s)(ell” me!
ERIDAN: you dont evven know if thats true
KANAYA: Is It
ERIDAN: wwell yeah but-

And with that, Feferi delivers yet another backhand, to the other cheek this time.

FEFERI: I can naut BE-LIE-VE- this!
FEFERI: Do you seariously t)(ink I don’t sea t)(roug)( t)(is s)(ip!?
FEFERI: W)(at was even your plan!? To try and find jack noir and lead all )(im back to everyone else so we could all DIE–!?
ERIDAN: i wwas gonna take you with me
FEFERI: Of COURSE- YOU WE-RE-! I am seasick and tired of this!

Feferi is practically shaking with anger, fists clenched and tears welling in her eyes.

FEFERI: )(ow many times do I )(ave to tell you I don’t want to be toget)(er!
FEFERI: And you can blame sollux all you want for t)(at, but t)(e trut)( is t)(at even if I was single I STILL wouldn’t want to be wit)( you!
FEFERI: Because you don’t respect me!
FEFERI: W)(en we were moirails i spent my W)(OL-E LIF-E trying to be t)(e breakers for your emotional tsunamis.

Eridan narrows his eyes, and starts to get up.

ERIDAN: im sorry
ERIDAN: but since your actin like you did all the wwork in our moirallegiance
ERIDAN: i wwanna ask you somethin
ERIDAN: wwho wwas it again wwho was responsible for feedin YOUR lusus
ERIDAN: wwhile you sat around doing fuckin nothing all day
FEFERI: You could )(ave asked me to take over at any point!
FEFERI: But you never did because you WANTE-D me to owe you. And if I ever told you no you’d )(avve las)(ed out and made my life a living s)(ell! And I know t)(at because you’re trying to do t)(at RIG)(T NOW!
ERIDAN: wwell maybe it wwould have been better if because the minute I stopped you hadnt left me for some GUTTERBLOOD

Sollux gets up, horns flickering.

SOLLUX: what the fuck diid you ju2t call me?
JOHN: ...
JOHN: (i fucked up.)
KANAYA: (That Seems Very Likely)

Eridan raises his wand. Fuck, Fuck, fuck. John needed to act fast. He jumps in between them.

JOHN: okay, first of all.

Both Eridan and Sollux pause, Eridan lowers his wand and the electricity around Sollux’s horns dies down a bit.

JOHN: i am so fucking glad i kicked you in the balls.

Eridan scoffs.

ERIDAN: i dont havve “balls”
JOHN: i don’t care!
JOHN: second of all, why the fuck are you doing this?
JOHN: she clearly doesn’t want to be with you! even if you do love her or what ever, which, for the record, i doubt, why would running off with her even help you in the first place?
ERIDAN: wwell it would convince-
JOHN: would it?
JOHN: would it convince her!?
FEFERI: NO!
JOHN: exactly!
JOHN: also, i don’t understand why you keep antagonizing sollux?
JOHN: how does that help you?
FEFERI: )(e’s trying to get me to auspisticize between t)(em, so Sollux and I won’t be matesprites anymore.
JOHN: seriously? would that even work?
FEFERI: NO!
ERIDAN: oh im sorry
ERIDAN: i didn’t realize wwe wwere makin baseless assumptions
ERIDAN: you dont wwant anythin to do wwith me or my feelins
ERIDAN: so wwho the fuck are you to tell me wwho i do and dont hate
JOHN: i mean, i guess he does have a point there.
JOHN: also, you wouldn’t call some one…that word… if you didn’t hate them.
SOLLUX: ii mean piitch ii2nt ju2t hate.
SOLLUX: you al2o have two be attracted two the per2on.
SOLLUX: whiich ii2 what 2he doe2n’t beliieve.

Sollux says, folding his arms and looking at Eridan. There’s a little bit of a smirk playing on his lips, and Eridan narrows his eyes at Sollux. Or well, squints at him anyways.

JOHN: oh, okay. well, eridan.
JOHN: are you attracted to sollux?
ERIDAN: …
ERIDAN: i mean yeah i guess
SOLLUX: that'2 not very conviinciing.
ERIDAN: no i mean youre a pretty good lookin guy
ERIDAN: i mean youre not attracted to me so wwhy does it fuckin matter
SOLLUX: ii mean mo2t of what'2 ii2 2toppiing me from datiing you ii2nt your look2, iit’2 your per2onaliity.
ERIDAN: so you are attracted to me
SOLLUX: ii mean yeah, ii gue22.
JOHN: okay, uh.
JOHN: can we work with that!
KANAYA: (John Why Are You Doing This)
JOHN: (shh, it’s working.)
ERIDAN: wwhat the hell
ERIDAN: are you tryin to pull one ovver on us
JOHN: no, of course not!
JOHN: i just really think that if you two are really into one another you should, erm.
JOHN: follow your heart!
JOHN: or spade, or what ever.
KANAYA: (Just So You Know This Is Quite Literally The Opposite of Auspistice)
JOHN: (well they’re not fighting one another, are they?)
FEFERI: ()(e’s got a point.)
KANAYA: (I Suppose Youre Right)
KANAYA: (Im Sorry John I Shouldnt Have Been So Quick To Question Your Judgment)
JOHN: anyways, what i am saying is, i’m a huge advocate of what ever this is.
JOHN: and by this i mean you two!
JOHN: together!
JOHN: so um.
JOHN: kiss or some thing, i don’t know.

John backs away, gesturing to both of them with an open hand.

SOLLUX: eheheh...

Sollux, throughout this conversation, has been covering his mouth, his shoulders shaking and his eyes bright.

SOLLUX: ehehehehehehehehehehehehe-

He’s unable to contain the snickering and his face breaks into an uncontained, euphoric grin.

SOLLUX: hehehehehahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

The snicker turns into a full on laugh, and the laugh turns into a howl. He’s fucking wheezing, crumpling in on himself, unable to get air. Little bursts of electricity are circling around his horns as he cackles. He gasps, clutching his abdomen as he scoots himself over to Eridan, still laughing.

SOLLUX: come kii2 me, you liitle shiit.

He chokes out in between fits of giggles. He's bitingly acerbic, even when incapacitated.

SOLLUX: dont be-

He wheezes.

SOLLUX: a fuckiing coward.

Eridan’s face flushes and leans away from Sollux, who's now making exaggerated kissy faces.

ERIDAN: wwhat the fuck his gotten into you
SOLLUX: you can’t fuckiing do iit can you?
SOLLUX: oh, you wea2ley liittle fuck.
ERIDAN: yes i can i fuckin can
ERIDAN: just stop puckering at me like a goddamn minnoww

Eridan tries, and fails, to collect himself. He sighs, deeply, rolls his eyes, and gives Sollux a chaste peck on the lips.

SOLLUX: that wa2 bull2hiit.
ERIDAN: WWHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WWANT THEN

Eridan says, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

SOLLUX: that2 not the 2ort of kii22 you give your lu2u2, iit2 not the kiind of kii22 you give 2omeone you’re iinto. you're liiterally ju2t proviing her poiint iin front of everyone. god thii2 ii2 so fuckiing embara22ing.

Sollux rolls his eyes, wiping a tear. Eridan folds his arms, indignant.

ERIDAN: okay wwell wwhat wwould that look like
SOLLUX: god okay 2o two be clear i am recogniiziing thii2 a2 the trap iit i2.
SOLLUX: but ii’m the one who deciided two commiit two the bit, 2o..
SOLLUX: “no eriidan,
SOLLUX: liike thii2:”

Sollux, pulls Eridan towards him by the lip of his shirt and kisses him. Eridan makes a little muffled squeak as if to complain, his eyes wide open, but falters. Neither of them moves their lips as they stay locked together in unforgiving silence. Their breaths, filled with trepidation and self-consciousness, start to sync despite their better judgment. Then Eridan closes his eyes, and everything falls into place. Sollux grabs his face, and there's a struggle for a moment where they both fight one another. Eridan tries to grab his horns, and Sollux growls and pushes his hands away with his Psiioniics. Then, Sollux lets Eridan try to bite his lip, just so he can pull away and watch Eridan come back. There's still an element of denial to it, their hands stay away from each other's torsos, but the way they fit together is obvious. Sollux likes putting out fires, and Eridan likes starting them. It’s symbiosis.

JOHN: (yep, definitely a good thing you all aren’t 13 years old.)
JOHN: (i mean i already feel weird watching this.)
JOHN: (uh.)
KANAYA: (I Agree This Is A Very Awkward Situation In Which To Be An Unaffiliated Party)
KANAYA: (And It Seems To Be Escalating In A Way I Did Not Expect)
FEFERI: (I completely sea your point…)
FEFERI: (But it is better t)(an t)(em fig)(ting to t)(e deat)(.)
KANAYA: (I Suppose)
KANAYA: (Do You Think Karkat Has Found Tavros Yet)
JOHN: (wait, what?)
FEFERI: (No one )(as sean Tavros in a w)(ile.)
FEFERI: (Apparently )(e was doing to fig)(t Vriska, but never he s)(owed up.)
JOHN: (oh thank god, i was worried he might change his mind!)
JOHN: (hopefully his confession ended up going well.)
KANAYA: (Confession to Whom)
JOHN: (not sure, but it seems like it was one of his close guy friends.)
FEFERI: ()(e’s probably talking about Gamzee. t)(at’s so sweet. I )(ope )(is porpoise-al goes well!)

John’s blood runs cold.

JOHN: wait, what?
KANAYA: (Gamzee And Tavros Are Close and Also Very Cute Together)
KANAYA: (I Agree With Feferi I Hope They End Up Working Out)
JOHN: son of a BITCH!
SOLLUX: what the-

But John’s already gone.

Chapter 7: When I'm Clownin'

On a “freakout” scale of 1-10, Karkat was maybe at an 8. As if he wasn’t getting enough of Vriska, she had to infect his freakout scale. Tavros wasn’t in his room, and the Transportalizer to Gamzee’s wasn’t working. He ran down each of the hallways, checking each ectobiology lab and creation room, dizzy with panic. God, he was actually getting lost. He needs to sit down. He slumps against the wall at the pit of a flight of stairs. If only could just close his eyes, just once.

But then, his phone goes off.

TC: yeah you could say i’ve gotten my shit together.
TC: DEPENDS ABOUT HOW A MOTHERFUCKER SEES IT.
CG: HOLY SHIT FINALLY.

Karkat says, almost not meaning it, as if he’s placating him without really understanding why.

CG: TAVROS IS MISSING. NOBODY KNOWS WHERE HE IS AND WE’RE STARTING TO GET REALLY FUCKING WORRIED. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?
TC: yeah i’ve motherfucking seen him alright.
TC: SEEN HIS MOTHER FUCKING CORPSE IS WHAT I’VE SEEN.

Karkat’s heart sinks. Some part of him within himself that knew this was a lost cause, but he had really been holding out hope. He now realized how stupid that was.

CG: GAMZEE I’M SO FUCKING SORRY, I AM SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT. I CAN’T BELIEVE I FELL FOR THE MOST OBVIOUS SCHEME POSSIBLE.
TC: it’s okay man.
CG: NO THE FUCK IT’S NOT. I LET ONE OF OUR TEAMMATES DIE ON MY WATCH. I FELL FOR THE MOST OBVIOUS LIE OF ALL TIME.
TC: IT’S ALL PART OF THE MOTHERFUCKING PLAN.
TC: a motherfucker was never meant to live.
CG: GAMZEE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? AND WHAT IS WITH YOUR QUIRK?
TC: AS IF I WOULD MOTHERFUCKING TELL YOU.
TC: you wouldn’t understand if i did.
TC: I’VE BEEN ALERTED TO ALL SORTS OF MIRTHFUL MOTHERFUCK.
TC: you motherfuckers always liked to mock me for shit.
TC: THE WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING UNIVERSE MOCKS ME FOR SHIT.
CG: GAMZEE, DUDE.
CG: YOU KNOW I’M AN ASSHOLE SOMETIMES. I DON’T

Karkat’s hands are shaking. He can’t finish the sentence.

TC: you don’t what?
TC: MEAN THAT SHIT?
TC: it’s okay, bro.
TC: YOU DON’T MOTHERFUCKING HAVE TO.
TC: i’ve got a whole planet of motherfuckers mocking me.
TC: A WHOLE FUCKING PLANET MAKING ME OUT TO BE SOME FUCKING JOKE.
CG: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.
TC: shut the fuck up.
TC: SHUT THE MOTHER FUCK UP.
TC: shit doesn’t matter anyways.
TC: BECAUSE ALL OF PARADOX SPACE IS ABOUT TO MOTHERFUCKING IT’S LAUGHING ON.
TC: but it won’t be at me this time.
TC: I’M PITCHING TENTS FOR THE DARK CARNIVAL BROTHER.
CG: WHAT?
TC: you heard me.
TC: I’M WRITING THE FLYERS IN ALL YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN BLOOD.
TC: from pretty motherfucking pink.
TC: TO PUNCHLINE MOTHERFUFCKING RED.
TC: oh fuck i can’t stop hearing that motherfucking song.
TC: THAT MOTHER FUCKING EARWORM HAS KNAWED ME THE FUCK OUT THE OTHER SIDE.
CG: GAMZEE IF YOU’RE HEARING VOICES IT’S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING THROUGH SOPOR WITHDRAWAL. WE CAN FIND A WAY TO ALCHEMIZE YOU MORE WE JUST HAVEN’T HAD TIME YET.
TC: that’s about the funniest shit i’ve heard.
TC: MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE TALKING TO ME AS IF THIS IS SOMETHING YOU CAN PUT BACK.
TC: nah this shit isn’t delusional.
TC: IT’S MOTHERFUCKING REVELATORY.
CG: NO OFFENSE BUT THAT IS THE EXACT KIND OF THING A DELUSIONAL PERSON WOULD SAY!
TC: fuck offense, i’m not going to be all convincing you...
TC: OF THINGS THAT ARE CLEARLY MOTHERFUCKING OBVIOUS.
TC: to any motherfucker.
TC: WHO’S TALKED TO THE RIGHT MOTHERFUCKING PEOPLE.
TC: and is willing to motherfucking hear shit.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? WHAT PEOPLE ARE YOU TALKING TO?
I would say that depends on how you look at it. Really, it’s less “people” than it is “person.”
CG: WHAT THE HELL? WHY IS THERE A BLANK LINE OF TEXT?
CG: WAIT...
CG: NO
CG: NO NO NO PLEASE NO
CG: GAMZEE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THIS GUY BEEN FUCKING US ALL OVER SINCE THE BEGINNING PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T FUCKING LISTEN TO HIM
TC: us?
TC: WHO THE MOTHERFUCK IS US?
TC: there’s only me.
TC: AND MOTHERFUCKING ME.
TC: anyways...
TC: I'VE GOT GUTS TO MOTHERFUCKING SPILL.
TC: honk.
TC: HONK.
TC: :o)

Chapter 8: The Prophecy

 

JOHN: i fucked up.

Terezi lowers her glasses to look at him, and smirks slightly. She may not be able to see him, but that isn’t going to stop her from chewing the scenery. John notices her eyelashes are a little wet, her nose a little teal, but doesn’t think anything of it.

TEREZI: 3GB3RT

She sits back in her chair, playing with her cane.

TEREZI: YOU 4R3N’T SUPPOS3D TO B3 H3R3
JOHN: i know! it’s a long story, i don’t have time to get into it, but i need to ask you some thing.
TEREZI: WHY SHOULD 1 T3LL YOU 4NYTH1NG
JOHN: because i’m trying to help you!
TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT 1 W4S TH3 ON3 H3LP1NG YOU
TEREZI: NO OFF3NS3 BUT 1 4M USU3LLY TH3 ON3 WHO M4K3S TH3 PL4NS 4ROUND H3R3
TEREZI: ON 4CCOUNT OF TH3 F4CT TH4T YOU SUCK 4T PL4NN1NG
JOHN: well, you are! kind of...
JOHN: most of the changes we’ve been making have been your idea, or alternate you’s idea…
JOHN: here!

John passes her the list and Terezi sniffs it, dragging her tongue over the paper. She holds it out in front of her, pondering its contents for a while, before giving it a final lick for good measure and nodding, satisfied.

TEREZI: Y3P
TEREZI: TH3S3 ARE D3F1N1T3LY MY PL4NS
TEREZI: 4LR1GHT 3GB3RT
TEREZI: YOU’V3 CONV1NC3D ME
TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU W4NT TO KNOW
JOHN: okay, i have two questions.
TEREZI: 1 H4V3 TWO 4NSW3RS
JOHN: is there any way for all of you to survive?

Terezi looks at him for a moment before sighing.

TEREZI: STUP1D QU3ST1ON
TEREZI: N3XT

She barks, waving her hand dismissively.

JOHN: that’s not an answer!
TEREZI: N3XT!

John rolls his eyes.

JOHN: fine! is there any way for both tavros and vriska to live?

Terezi’s face falls. She pauses, and closes her eyes. She breathes deeply, brows furrowed, jaw clenched tight. After a while, she turns back to her computer screen, sniffing it tepidly.

JOHN: terezi?

John asks, with marked gentleness.

TEREZI: 1T W4S 4 STUP1D QU3ST1ON B3C4US3 TH3R3 W4S NO PO1NT TO 4SK1NG 1T
TEREZI: 1F YOU D1DN’T 4LR3ADY KNOW TH3 4NSW3R TWO TH3 F1RST
TEREZI: YOU WOULDN’T H4VE N33DED TO PR3P4RE TH3 S3COND ON3 1N 4DV4NC3

She says, coldly. John frowns. Terezi shakes her head.

TEREZI: NO
TEREZI: TH3 4NSW3R 1S NO

She hands him back the list.

TEREZI: YOU’LL ST1LL N33D TO DO 3V3RYTH1NG 3LS3
TEREZI: NOTH1NG H4S FUND3M3NT4LLY CH4NG3D

Chapter 9: Blackout

Sollux and Eridan look at each other and slowly back away, all four of them silent. Eridan clears his throat, and steps on the transportalizer. It doesn’t work. He stands on it. It doesn’t work. He stomps. Nothing.

ERIDAN: wwhat the fuck
ERIDAN: no
ERIDAN: sol you gotta fix this fuckin immediately
SOLLUX: waiit, what the hell?
SOLLUX: al2o iit2 not my job two fiix mechaniical 2hiit, dumba22.
SOLLUX: iill message eq.
SOLLUX:..

Sollux sighs deeply, the kind of sigh that really just, originates in one’s bones.

twinArmegeddons[TA] began trolling centaursTesticle[CT]

TA: hey, a22hole.
CT: D -–> Language

Sollux growls, and Eridan shoots over to look at his computer screen. Sollux swats him away.

TA: nope, we’re not doiing thii2.
CT: D -–> Doing what
TA: your whole 2htiick, iit’2 not happening.
CT: D -–> What are you asking of me
TA: fiirst of all, wii2e guy, ii don’t need you bo22iing me around.
TA: ii don’t tolerate iit from ED and ii am 2ure a2 hell not goiing two tolerate iit from you.
CT: D -–> Hm
CT: D -–> Fascinating
CT: D -–> You are somewhat like Karkat in regard for your distaste for following social convention
CT: D -–> But you are much STRONGER than he is
CT: D -–> Thus you do command more respect than a typical lowb100d even if your mannerisms are abhorrent
TA: why the fuck are you telliing me thii2 liike ii care?
CT: D -–> I suppose I am thinking aloud
TA: okay, well siince ii’m apparently “one of the good one2”:
TA: fiix the tran2portaliizer.
TA: now.
CT: --> I see
CT: --> Um
CT: --> Give me a moment
CT: --> I need to compose myself

Sollux facepalms.

SOLLUX: goddamniit ff, he’2 doiing the thiing.
FEFERI: I mean, no offense, but I’m not s)(ore w)(y you're surprised.
KANAYA: What Thing
SOLLUX: the thiing where he get2 turned on when you tell hiim what two do.
KANAYA: Oh
KANAYA: I Did Not Know That Was A Tendency Of His
KANAYA: I Have Never Experienced It For Myself
KANAYA: Although To Be Honest I Do Not Want To
SOLLUX: fuck GA, that2 hone2tly 2urprii2iing.
KANAYA: Perhaps Vriska Told Him I Wasnt Interested In Men
FEFERI: W)(y would s)(e say t)(at?
KANAYA: Because I Am Not
KANAYA: Well That Is A Bad Way Of Putting It
KANAYA: Men Are Interesting
KANAYA: But I Do Not Find Them Attractive
SOLLUX: waiit, like the entiire gender?
KANAYA: That Is Correct
KANAYA: I Have Never Wanted To Be In A Concupiscent Relationship With A Man And I Most Likely Never Will
SOLLUX: huh. ii didn’t even know that wa2 po22iible but ii guess iit’s kind of cool.
KANAYA: Thank You
KANAYA: I Usually Do Not Consider Myself To Be Cool So I Appreciate That
SOLLUX: anyway2, he may not do iit two you GA, but FF he’2 going two do iit to you biig time, 2o brace your2elf.
FEFERI: Oh, I don’t reely mind it.
FEFERI: I actually t)(ink it’s kind of flattering.

Sollux raises a brow.

FEFERI: Not t)(at I would ever c)(eat on you!
SOLLUX: that’2 not w)(y ii wa2 confu2ed, ii don’t really care iif you fliirt wiith hiim.
SOLLUX: ii mean, ii get iit. 2weat a2iide, he’2 buiilt liike a god. ii don’t blame you for thiinkiing iit’2 hot when he grovel2 liike that for you.
ERIDAN: wwait wwhat
SOLLUX: not agaiin..
ERIDAN: okay first of all
ERIDAN: stop makin assumptions
ERIDAN: this isn’t about fef
ERIDAN: it’s about howw ivve been askin that guy to be caliginous for ages and he says he doesn’t fuckin bite because i’m a seadwweller
SOLLUX: well, he’2 lyiing two you.
SOLLUX: becau2e that’2 ab2olutely not why.
ERIDAN: then wwhy
SOLLUX: iit’2 becau2e he clocked you.
ERIDAN: as wwhat
SOLLUX: a2 a brat, lmao.
ERIDAN: WWHAT

Eridan opens his mouth, aghast.

ERIDAN: i’m fuckin royalty i don’t bottom
SOLLUX: you ju2t let the guy who “2tole your giirlfriiend” 2hove hiis tongue down your throat. ye2 you do.
SOLLUX: al2o, you dated AG for liike a 2weep, how 2tupiid do you thiink ii am?
ERIDAN: no youvve got it all wwrong
ERIDAN: she respected me
ERIDAN: and wwe did things alternia proper
SOLLUX: you could not pay me two beliieve you.
KANAYA: Not To Interrupt
KANAYA: But Have Any Of You Noticed That The Computer Screen is Black
KANAYA: And Has Been For This Entire Conversation
SOLLUX: 2hiit.

All four of them race to the screen. She’s right. Sollux checks the wiring, unplugs and replugs the cords, checks the other computers.

SOLLUX: the problem ii2 the electriiciity.

Sollux tries to use his psiionics to power the computers for a bit, and while it works for a second the moment he stops the computers power back off. He tries again, and the computer short circuits. Any attempts after that fail.

SOLLUX: what the hell?
SOLLUX: ii don’t even know how thii2 ii2 even po22iible..
SOLLUX: 2omeone text kk two look at the electriic panel.
SOLLUX: ii thiink 2omeone’2 me22iing with 2omething.
FEFERI: On it!

cuttlefishCuller[CC] started trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]

CC: )(i Karkat!
CC: Just so you know we’re experiencing some problems wit)( t)(e transportalizer and computers, Sollux told me to s)(ell you t)(at you s)(ould check the breakers.
CG: OH FUCK
CG: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
CC: Don’t worry! We’re all totally fine!
CG: NO
CG: THIS IS NOT FINE
CG: YOU GUYS NEED TO HIDE RIGHT NOW
CC: W)(y?

And with that, the lights are out. With no computers to light up the room, it wasn’t even bright enough for a troll to see. There was a complete void, the only light coming from feferi’s dim tablet, which only reached the edges of her hair and-

ERIDAN: WWHAT THE HELL!?

Eridan screams.

KANAYA: Whats Wrong
ERIDAN: holy shit there wwas
ERIDAN: there wwas a fuckin face over your shoulder
SOLLUX: what!?
SOLLUX: what diid iit look liike?
ERIDAN: i can’t make out wwho wwithout my glasses but they wwere grinnin like a fuckin maniac

Eridan whips out his wand, trying to use it to light the darkness. Something horrible scuttles into a corner.

SOLLUX: ii ju2t heard 2omethiing move

Feferi grabs her trident. Kanaya unsheaths her chainsaw.

Then, very quietly.

  :o)

And all hell breaks loose.

Chapter 10: Six Shots Fired

Two distinct WHAMS ring across the lab and psiioniics illuminate the room in a brief flash of blue and red long enough to see yellow blood splatter and Sollux crumple to the floor.

FEFERI: SOLLUX!

She cries out as she rushes toward him, dropping her trident so try and feel for a pulse as she pushes them both into a corner for protection. Kanaya moves to guard the two of them revving her chainsaw, and Eridan fires at the ceiling illuminating the room for a millisecond, just enough for Feferi to see the blood dripping down his temple and find the two dents in his skull.

FEFERI: No, no, no, no, no...
FEFERI: Sollux? Sollux can you )(ear me!?

Sollux, unresponsive, chokes out breaths, each one weaker than the last.

ERIDAN: at this point youre best just killin him
ERIDAN: otherwise youre just lettin him suffer

Eridan rushes to Sollux, pushing the wand against his temple as he wedges in behind her. Feferi tries to shake him off, tears welling in her eyes.

FEFERI: Get t)(e S)(-ELL AWAY FROM )(IM!

Sollux’s breathing gets shallower, and shallower, and finally, it stops. The two of them pause for a moment, shocked. Feferi starts shaking Sollux, kissing him and pressing her head against his. Eridan tries to wrestle her away.

FEFERI: No.
FEFERI: NO!
ERIDAN: fef im not evven doin this to pull one ovver on you
ERIDAN: you need to let go so wwe can get outta here
FEFERI: I DON’T B-ELI-EV-E YOU! I DON’T B-ELI-EV-E YOU’V-E )(AD A C)(ANG-E OF )(-EART SO QUICKLY. YOU’V-E B-E—EN WANTING SOLLUX GON-E FOR SO LONG!
KANAYA: Eridan Let Her Go
ERIDAN: come on kan you can fuckin hear him he’s not breathing
KANAYA: You Are Not Helping Things As Much As You Think You Are

Eridan tries to console her, running his thumb along the patch of her arm that he’s gripping. She growls, jaw clenched in anger.

FEFERI: -Eridan. Get. Off. Of. Me.
ERIDAN: i’m tryin to help you
ERIDAN: and im only pushin up against you because wwe dont havve enough space and youre in this stupid corner
FEFERI: I said STOP!
KANAYA: Eridan Leave Her Alone
ERIDAN: no fuck just let him go fef
KANAYA: Eridan Back Away
ERIDAN: no
KANAYA: Eridan Please
ERIDAN: gimme one good reason
KANAYA: Fine
KANAYA: I Need You To Light Up the Room Again
ERIDAN: wwhy
KANAYA: Because I Cant Find The Matriorb

Kanaya’s voice is shaking.

ERIDAN: fuck the orb kan
ERIDAN: just get a neww orb
KANAYA: I cant
KANAYA: Eridan You Know I Cant

She holds back tears almost successfully. The room shakes as objects start crashing to the floor.

ERIDAN: fine

Eridan raises the wand, but before he has time to fire it, before can even react, the figure grabs his hand. Eridan can’t struggle, he’s not strong enough, and while Eridan does not fire the wand, he doesn’t need to, because the wand goes straight through Feferi’s lower abdomen.

Blood curdling screams, from both of them this time.

ERIDAN: FEF NO
ERIDAN: NO NO NO
KANAYA: What Happened
FEFERI: W)(Y!?

Feferi’s voice is almost as thick with betrayal as it is with hurt.

ERIDAN: NO I DID NOT I PROMISE FEF SOMEONE GRABBED MY HAND I SWWEAR ON MY FUCKIN LIFE I-

Eidan’s cut off, spluttering. Behind him, Feferi can feel three spikes touch her back.

FEFERI: —Eridan?

She manages to stammer out in the silence.

FEFERI: -ERIDAN!?

But he’s already hit the floor. There’s a long pause. For a moment, everything is still.

KANAYA: Feferi
KANAYA: If You Can
KANAYA: I Need You To Get Up And Move Toward My Voice
FEFERI: T)(ey )(ave my trident.
FEFERI: And I can’t just leave -Eridan and Sollux like t)(is!
KANAYA: Feferi Please
KANAYA: I Am Going To Come To You But There Are Broken Computers In My Way.

Feferi is able to crawl out from the corner enough and Kanaya is able to move far enough across the floor that the two of them are able to meet in the middle as Feferi collapses into Kanaya’s arms. Kanaya feels Feferi’s lower stomach gingerly and is able to find the end of the wand.

KANAYA: I Can See The Bleeding On Your Stomach
KANAYA: Is there Anywhere Else.

Feferi sobs as she inhales shakily.

FEFERI: T)(ere’s blood on my t)(ig)(s.
KANAYA: Wait How

Kanaya pauses, feeling the angle of the wand as her stomach drops.

KANAYA: Oh

Feferi winces and leans into Kanaya. Kanaya cradles her as she can feel the blood start to soak into her skirt. Feferi sobs quietly.

FEFERI: Kanaya?
KANAYA: Yes
FEFERI: Can You be )(onest.
KANAYA: Of Course
FEFERI: If I )(adn’t ended t)(ings wit)( -Eridan
FEFERI: Would we all be okay rig)(t now?

Kanaya looks at her in genuine confusion, head cocked slightly to the side.

KANAYA: I Dont Think I Could Possibly Predict That
KANAYA: I Am Not A Seer

Kanaya frowns as Feferi’s breathing starts to slow.

KANAYA: Feferi
KANAYA: This Isn’t Your Fault

Kanaya pauses.

KANAYA: But I Understand
KANAYA: I Understand Why You Think That

Feferi grabs Kanaya’s hand. Kanaya squeezes. Feferi squeezes back. They both squeeze, until there is only one of them left to squeeze. Until it’s just Kanaya holding a limp hand. Kanaya places her down and takes out her chainsaw.

KANAYA: Alright
KANAYA: I Don’t Know Why You Arent Attacking Me
KANAYA: But Trust Me When I Say
KANAYA: I Have No Qualms About Attacking You

Her weapon whirrs to life, and there is just a bit of light coming off of the button on the handle. It’s not enough to see very far, but it is enough to just barely light up a figure. They scuttle, heading towards the other corner as it paws at an open vent.

KANAYA: Oh No You Dont

Kanaya swings the chainsaw, and it barely misses as the figure ducks out from under her, the chainsaw slamming into a broken computer. She launches herself towards the sound of it stepping on another horn and rears it up. Just as she’s about to strike, the light from the saw illuminates two things:

1. The grinning face of Gamzee Makara, holding something over his head.
2. The Matriorb, about a half inch away from her blade.

KANAYA: No
KANAYA: NO!

Kanaya throws the chainsaw behind her and dives for the Orb. She wrenches it away from him and he goes in after it. He tackles her to the ground and she digs her heels into him to try and push him away, holding her mother’s precious egg close to her chest even as the horns threaten to pierce her skin. Even as his hands close around her neck and he slams her head into the ground. Even as she pushes and spits and bites and it does nothing. Even as he can feel him feeling around beside her and grabbing Eridan’s wand. Even as he rears up. Even when he stabs her in the neck, twice, grinning the whole time. Even as she can no longer breathe…

She.
Does.
Not.
Let.
Go.

Because when he is done he rears his head up, satisfied, and crawls back into that air vent, that means she has won.

That means the matriorb is safe.

Chapter 11: Familiar Faces in Dark Corridors

Despite hopelessly feeling lost just a moment ago, Karkat is easily able to find his way to the electric panel. The cover is off, strewn on the floor. He fiddles helplessly with the wiring, having none of the tools or the knowledge to fix anything. One thing is clear, though, when he goes to feel the switches he can tell that it’s wet. He pulls his hand away for a moment. Unsure, what to do. If what’s on his hand right now is sweat, Equius has already fixed the breakers and he can use the transportalizer, if it’s…oh god. Is it blood? Is the panel covered in blood? Karkat starts to hyperventilate, holding up his phone as a light, but pulls it back, confused. The substance he does find is definitely not sweat, but it doesn’t feel like blood. He touches it, reluctantly, and it’s somewhat sticky, like sopor but less viscous. Almost, but not quite, rust colored. He wipes it on the wall. Anything to get it off. It makes him feel dirty, in a way he does not want to explore.

carcinoGeneticist[CG] added twinArmegeddons[TA] to the chat

CG: I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO SOUND INSANE BUT I THINK GAMZEE IS FUCKING WITH THE POWER ON THE METEOR.
CG: HE’S LOST IT. HE’S FUCKING GENOCIDAL. HE WANTS TO KILL ALL OF US.
CG: FUCK FUCK FUCK
CG: I KNOW THE GOOD THING FOR A LEADER TO DO WOULD BE TO STAY CALM BUT I CAN’T FUCKING DO THAT. I AM SO FAR IN OVER MY HEAD RIGHT NOW.
CG: I THINK WE’RE GOING TO NEED TO ASSEMBLE A TEAM OF PEOPLE TO DEAL WITH IT.
CG: YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT VRISKA, BY THE WAY. EVEN IF YOU WERE A MASSIVE DICK ABOUT IT. TAVROS IS GONE. OR AT LEAST, I THINK HE IS. GAMZEE SAID HE FOUND A BODY BUT I HAVE NO IDEA IF I CAN TRUST HIM RIGHT NOW. HE COULD BE VERY EASILY JUST BE LYING TO FUCK WITH ME.

No response. Karkat awaits five agonizing minutes.

CG: SOLLUX ARE YOU THERE?
CG: THIS IS SO NERVE WRACKING I HAVE NO IDEA IF YOU GUYS ARE NOT RESPONDING TO ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEAD OR BECAUSE THE POWER IS OUT.
CG: GODDAMNIT.

Karkat furrows his brow. He hears something in the ceiling. He sighs in relief.

KARKAT: NEPETA?
KARKAT: NEPETA, I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M SAYING THIS.
KARKAT: I NEED YOU TO MESSAGE EQUIUS AND TELL HIM TO COME OVER HERE. AND FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD DO NOT LET HIM WANDER THE HALLS BY HIMSELF.
KARKAT: GAMZEE’S TAKEN A WHITE FEATHERED WATERBEAST DIVE OFF THE GODDAMN DEEP END OFF THE MASSIVE RECREATIONAL ABLUTION TRAP AND WE CANNOT LET HIM-

No.

Karkat thinks, his heart dropping six floors. Because it’s not Nepeta who lowers themselves from the air vent, it’s-

GAMZEE: whose this “gamzee” motherfucker?
GAMZEE: HE SOUNDS LIKE A REAL MOTHERFUCKING RIOT!

Gamzee slams Karkat against a wall and it’s almost comical what little resistance he can put up. Their bodies are flush together and Karkat can feel just how wet Gamzee is . It’s like he had been swimming. Karkat, damn him, starts to fucking cry. His face scrunches up and he looks away to try and hide it but there’s nothing he can do. He’s such a fucking weakling.

GAMZEE: what’s the matter?
GAMZEE: A MOTHERFUCKER FIND HIMSELF SPEECHLESS?
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

Gamzee wraps his arms around Karkat, face nestled in the back of his neck.

GAMZEE: i’m just trying to give my best bro a hug.
GAMZEE: IS THAT SO MOTHERFUCKING WRONG?
KARKAT: GAMZEE I-

Karkat doesn’t know what to say. This is fucking absurd and Karkat isn’t sure whether to hug gamzee back or push him away.

GAMZEE: it’s hard to lose a best friend.

Karkat decides to reciprocate the hug. Gamzee smiles into his shoulder, rocking them back and forth.

GAMZEE: YOU WOULDN’T KNOW.
KARKAT: WHAT?
GAMZEE: a motherfucker has never had a motherfucking experience in the motherfucking diamond department.

Karkat looks at him, confused.

KARKAT: I MEAN, YEAH? NOT OFFICIALLY.

Gamzee pulls back to look at him, his face darkening.

KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY. ME ERIDAN SORT OF HAVE A THING BUT WE’RE NOT EXCLUSIVE OR CONCRETE.
KARKAT: I DON’T-
GAMZEE: WHAT.
KARKAT: I THOUGHT YOU KNEW THIS.
KARKAT: I THOUGHT EVERYONE KNEW THIS.
KARKAT: I MEAN IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER I’M GONNA FUCKING END THINGS WITH THAT FISH STICK. THERE’S NO POINT. HE CAN’T HELP HIMSELF AND AND HE WON’T LEAVE ME-
KARKAT: OH MY GOD, ARE YOU FUCKING CRYING?

The look Gamzee is giving him sends shivers down his spine. Tears are welling up in his eyes, yes, but those eyes are right red. He’s not heartbroken, he’s furious.
Gamzee hits him in the face. Hard. So hard Karkat crumples down to the ground, head spinning. Gamzee straddles him, punching him over and over again. In the chest now, so hard he feels something crack. Karkat screams and Gamzee grips his face until little beads of cherry red blood dribble onto his fingers. Gamzee smirks.

GAMZEE: don’t you worry, invertabrother.
GAMZEE: YOU WON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER ANYMORE.
GAMZEE: i already took care of it.

Then, Gamzee gets up and just… leaves. Just leaves Karkat to swim in and out of consciousness on the floor of the meteor, alone. To watch his vision start to go dark, and his breathing start to slow.

No.

No.

Not like this. Not alone. He was going to force himself, through sheer determination and a possibly broken ribcage, to fucking breathe.Each inhale is like (troll) sisyphus pushing that rock up the goddamn hill. But he kept doing it. He kept breathing.

It is a while before anything happens. Anywhere between five minutes and an hour. It was so hard to tell when everything hurt so bad and he kept falling in and out of consciousness. Then, a noise, footsteps, echoing in the dark. Gamzee was back to finish the job. His heart seizes. He tries to play dead, and for a second, he really thinks it’s working. But then, Karkat feels searing pinpoints of pressure on his aching ribs. He winces, bracing for what he knows must be the end. Two hands slip underneath his legs as he’s lifted up and-

Wait.

Chapter 12: Hurt, Comfort

Karkat wasn’t one to (unnecessarily) draw parallels between his life and romance movies, but his time spent watching them had sometimes given him something of a sixth sense. Sometimes, it manifests as an intuition about a person. Sometimes, it’s an inkling that a planet would be a very lovely place to kiss or to confess one has been pining for years. Sometimes, it was that he was not being murdered but was, in fact, being (somewhat) gently cradled against someone’s hearty pecs by a ridiculously muscular pair of very sweaty arms. God fucking damnit.

He looks up at Equius, whose expression is (as usual) unreadable. Good. He doesn’t want to read it. Equius carries him down the hallway and through to his room, where Nepeta rushes to his side.

NEPETA: :OO < KARKITTY!
NEPETA: :OO < what happened!?

Equius transfers Karkat over to Nepeta, who sets him down and starts covering him with (thankfully) clean towels.

NEPETA: :(( < my meowrail told me mew fur hurt but i didn’t realize how pawful it was!
NEPETA: :(( < who did thiss to mew?!

Karkat can’t find his voice, and when he’s finally able to speak it’s uncharacteristically quiet.

KARKAT: gamzee.
EQUIUS + NEPETA: –- :33 < > What?!

The two say, looking at one another in shock. Karkat groans and Nepeta moves to press a dainty tea cup against his lips. Karkat drinks. Normally it would be far too sweet for him, but fuck it tasted good right now.

EQUIUS: D -–> What happened
KARKAT: I TRIED TO FIX THAT STUPID FUCKING PANEL.
KARKAT: HE CAUGHT ME AND SLAMMED ME UP AGAINST THE WALL.
KARKAT: HE MADE A PALE ADVANCE ON ME.
NEPETA: :33 < *ac opens her meowth in shock* what!? did you try to pacify him!? how did it go!?
KARKAT: AND AS IF IT WEREN’T MADE SELF EVIDENT BY THE FACT AND THAT I HAD TO GET ARSON MITIGATOR CARRIED OUT OF DANGER BY AN ELITIST DOUCHEBAG, JUST BARELY SNATCHING ME FROM THE GODDAMN GREASEPAINT COVERED JAWS OF DEATH.
KARKAT: IT WENT BADLY.

Nepeta cocks her head to the side, almost curious.

NEPETA: :33 < did you spurrn him?!
KARKAT: NO! THAT’S THE THING THAT CREEPS ME OUT.
KARKAT: HE GOT REALLY PISSED AT ME BECAUSE I SAID I WAS ALMOST WITH ERIDAN.
EQUIUS: D -–> I see
NEPETA: :33 < mew s33?
EQUIUS: D -–> Sometimes highb100ds
EQUIUS: D -–> Meaning purple, not b100
EQUIUS: D -–> Can be
EQUIUS: D -–> Partic001ar about firsts
KARKAT: I’M SORRY BUT NO, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FETISH THING, NOT AN ACTUAL PART OF “ D --> Highb100d culture ”.HUMANS CARE ABOUT FIRST TIMES, I’VE WATCHED THEIR MOVIES. TROLLS DON’T AND NEVER HAVE. AND IF I’M WRONG, WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF THIS? WHY ISN’T IT IN ANY MEDIA AND WHY HAS GAMZEE NEVER MENTIONED IT?
EQUIUS: D -–> It is a facet of the religions popular in their ranks
EQUIUS: D -–> Is an e%pectation for low ranking partners to be not only submissive, but ine%perienced
EQUIUS: D -–> Fresh b100d, unsullied
EQUIUS: D -–> Se%ual or romantic innocence that is not a choice but an innate quality that preserves itself
EQUIUS: D -–> Of course they never told you

Equius says, smugly.

EQUIUS: D -–> The point is that you shouldn’t have to be asked
EQUIUS: D -–> I never expected for Gamzee to take it this seriously, but I cannot say it comes out of nowhere
EQUIUS: D -–> He was always pious, even if until now nothing else about him fit his rank
EQUIUS: D -–> Perhaps, that is why he

Equius’s face falls.

EQUIUS: D -–> ...
NEPETA: :33 < why he what?
EQUIUS: D -–> Nothing
NEPETA: :33 < *ac cocks her head to the side beclaws she senses her meowrail is hiding something impurrtant*
EQUIUS: D -–> Nepeta you will stop this at line of interrogation at once

NEPETA: :33 < no
EQUIUS: D -–> Yes
NEPETA: :33 < no
EQUIUS: D -–> Yes
NEPETA: :33 < no
EQUIUS: D -–> Yes
KARKAT: YOU GUYS DO REALIZE THAT ERIDAN AND FEFERI SOLLUX AND KANAYA ARE STILL TRAPPED IN THE TRANSPORTALIZER ROOM.
NEPETA: :OO < what?
EQUIUS: D -–> I am well aware
EQUIUS: D -–> This seemed to be a more pressing issue
EQUIUS: D -–> I plan to inspect the situation more thoroughly when i have the opportunity to do so
KARKAT: YOU MEAN WHEN HE’S NOT ACTIVELY TRYING TO MURDER ALL OF US.

Equius snorts. It sounds sufficiently horse-like.

EQUIUS: D -–> I think it is safe to say that the highb100d is having a bit of trouble adjusting
EQUIUS: D -–> But I don’t think what is happening is unsalvageable by any means
EQUIUS: D --> He simply needs to learn to manage himself now that he doesn’t have access to slime

Karkat rolls his eyes so hard he almost blinds himself.

KARKAT: EQUIUS. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.
EQUIUS: D -–> I do not kid
KARKAT: THIS GUY IS OUT OF HIS MIND.
EQUIUS: D -–> Is that so
EQUIUS: D -–> Is he e%periencing a mental crisis

Karkat is blindsided by the stupidity of the question, so much has to stop for a moment and actually mull over why Equius would even ask it. Obviously, Gamzee is having some sort of episode. Or he wouldn’t be doing all of this! Only a delusional person would…right? He thought about Sollux. Sollux, who heard voices constantly. Who would sometimes message him freaking out about fucking spiders in his walls, who Feferi and Aradia said would sometimes scream at his own reflection until someone would wrench him away from the mirror. Sollux, who would never strike an innocent person of his own volition. Never.

Gamzee said he was hearing a song, and that he felt like it was mocking him, but was that insanity? Was that delusional? Now that he was thinking about it, when the song Fergalicious by, (troll) Fergie dropped, Karkat had also felt like something in that song was mocking him. And not just mocking him, reaching deep into his soul and trying to tear it apart.

...

But at some point he realized he just really fucking hated that song

KARKAT: I...
KARKAT: HE’S MAD.

Equius nods with approval.

NEPETA: :33 < so gamz33 is just throwing a tempurr tantrum?
EQUIUS: D -–> I would not say
EQUIUS: D -–> Just
EQUIUS: D -–> Highb100d rage is not a thing to be treated lightly
EQUIUS: D -–> Give me a moment

Equius takes one of the towels and stands behind the metal boxes, resting his face on his elbows. Most of his body is obscured but based on his face, he’s really sweating. More than Karkat had ever seen him sweat before. His breathing is deep and ragged, his brows furrowed, little blue droplets dripping down his chin even as he dries himself off furiously.

NEPETA: :33 < equius?
NEPETA: :33 < do you want me to come over there?
EQUIUS: D -–> No
EQUIUS: D -–> We should speak privately but not right now
EQUIUS: D -–> Right now I need to be alone
EQUIUS: D -–> I need to take care of something
KARKAT: OH MY GOD ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO JERK OFF RIGHT NOW?
KARKAT: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?

Equius opens his mouth but before he can say anything-

Notes:

sorry it's been so long, i've been really busy. i will try and keep updates more regular from this point forward.

Chapter 13: 4ND FOR FUCK'S S4K3 T3LL K4RK4T NOT TO S3ND 3QU1US TO H1S D34TH

Summary:

shit's about to hit the fan soon, i'll be raising the rating to keep up with that but it will be getting much darker and will be nsfw. just a warning in advance so you can turn back. whether or not this gets to dead dove will be unclear, but i will make the call when that happens. either way, i do promise this thing will have a happy ending, come hell or high water. short chapter for now but i will post again soon.

KARKAT: JOHN!?
NEPETA: :33 < aradia!!!
EQUIUS: D -–> Hrk
NEPETA: :DD < you’re alive!
ARADIA: yes i am!
ARADIA: i had a bed hidden in derse even i didnt know about
KARKAT: WELL THAT’S CONVENIENT.
NEPETA: :33 < *ac leaps into aradia’s arms and gives her a big hug because ac is so glad to s33 her*
NEPETA: i am so glad to s33 you!

Nepeta says, leaping into Aradia’s arms and giving her a big hug. Karkat's face is bright red. John laughs to himself. I guess paradox space needed his “epic trolling routine” to go just as badly. Waitt... was I being an asshole? Oh my god, I totally was, wasn’t I? I was a total asshole!

JOHN: uh...sorry, karkat.
KARKAT: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SORRY FOR?
KARKAT: SORRY FOR WASTING MY GODDAMN TIME? WHY ARE YOU HERE?
KARKAT: YOU BETTER EXPLAIN THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW, EGBERT. I AM NOT IN A GOOD MOOD FOR REASONS THAT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS.
JOHN: oh, right! my list!

John clears his throat.

JOHN: uh, karkat! don’t send equius to fight gamzee!
EQUIUS: D -–> ...
NEPETA: :33 < ...
KARKAT: WE ARE SO FUCKING FAR FROM THE POINT OF ME EVEN COMING UP WITH THAT PLAN.
KARKAT: I DO NOT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GETTING THIS ADVICE BUT IT IS SO UNBELIEVABLY RANCID I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU HAVEN’T DUG YOURSELF A HOLE CRAWLED INTO IT OUT OF SHEER HUMILIATION.
EQUIUS: D -–> No
EQUIUS: D -–> He has a point
EQUIUS: D -–> I should not fight Gamzee
EQUIUS: D -–> But I believe a conversation is in order
NEPETA: :33 < equius are you sure? that doesn’t sound like a good idea
EQUIUS: D -–> I think we should talk privately about this
EQUIUS: D -–> I am in a stable enough place where we can do that

He nods at everyone and motions for Nepeta to get up. Nepeta follows.

EQUIUS: D -–> We’ll be back

Karkat and Aradia both look at John, who groans.

JOHN: ...
JOHN: does any one here have a shovel?

Aradia smacks her forehead.

Chapter 14: Meowrails and Mixed Feelings

Equius sections the two of them off in Nepeta’s room. They don’t go far into it, she doesn’t let him, but they do sit down in a pile of sugar (which he immediately begins to melt into) and she curls up in his arms. He kisses her forehead.

 

NEPETA: :33 < equius i really don’t think this is a good idea
EQUIUS: D -–> I understand that
NEPETA: :33 < but mew are going to do it anyways :((

There’s a slight quiver in Nepeta’s voice.

EQUIUS: D -–> Yes
EQUIUS: D -–> I am res00l00te
NEPETA: :33 < do you at least understand why i dont want you to go
EQUIUS: D -–> Why
NEPETA: :(( < beclaws i’m afurraid i’m going to lose you!

She sniffles.

EQUIUS: D -–> I understand
EQUIUS: D -–> Nepeta
NEPETA: :33 < yes?
EQUIUS: D -–> Do you remember when we were 100king into the history of humans, and I said that it was very il100strative
NEPETA: :33 < *ac purrks up and mrrps curiously* is this about the monkeys!? i love the monkeys!
EQUIUS: D -–> Yes
EQUIUS: D -–> Despite their inferiority to Equine, Bovine...or feline mammals
EQUIUS: D -–> I think their social structures are fascinating
EQUIUS: D -–> Specifically their ranking system
EQUIUS: D -–> They need hierarchy in order to not fight, their social groups break down without them
NEPETA: :33 < equius we aren’t monkeys!
EQUIUS: D -–> Yes, but we are trolls
EQUIUS: D -–> And trolls, like monkeys, are violent
NEPETA: :33 < *ac folds her arms. she knows a furry good countpurrpoint!* not all monkeys are violent. what about the bonobos? i saw those videos you showed me of them sharing!
EQUIUS: D -–> ...
NEPETA: :33 < see! not evfurrything n33ds to be so black and white!
EQUIUS: D -–> Hm

Equius appears lost in thought. There’s a bead of sweat dripping down his temple.

NEPETA: :33 < Equius i know you want to try and convince gamz33 to be a good leader, but look at the way he treated karkitty!

He looks down at her, brows furrowed.

EQUIUS: D -–> I agree it’s
EQUIUS: D -–> Concerning
EQUIUS: D -–> But more so because it seems like he picks unsuitable targets
NEPETA: >:(( < you mean people who have done nothing wrong!
EQUIUS: D -–> E%actly
EQUIUS: D --> But it is not une%pected that he would be unpredictable
EQUIUS: D --> It is his b100d that makes him violent
EQUIUS: D --> But it is also what makes him perfect
EQUIUS: D --> His
EQUIUS: D --> Urges
EQUIUS: D --> Simply need to find a more appropriate avenue
NEPETA: :33 < equius?
EQUIUS: D --> Yes
NEPETA: :PP < you’re doing the thing

Equius scoots to try and get Nepeta off of him, but she clings on.

EQUIUS: D --> Nepeta I am so sorry
NEPETA: :33 < it’s okay
EQUIUS: D --> No, Nepeta
EQUIUS: D --> It’s not
NEPETA: :33 < equius it really is!
EQUIUS: D --> It’s not about you
EQUIUS: D --> I promise
NEPETA: :33 < i know
NEPETA: :33 < plus it’s already gone
EQUIUS: D --> I should not even bring up things that cause problems

Equius’s breath catches on the inhale. Nepeta purrs on his chest, making little biscuits on his arm.

EQUIUS: D --> It’s not being a good moirail
NEPETA: :33 < equius
EQUIUS: D --> What
NEPETA: :33 < some meowrails pail and they’re still good meowrails

Equius tenses up. She headbutts him.

NEPETA: :33 < i dont want to do that with mew though

He relaxes, slightly.

EQUIUS: D --> I do not want that either
NEPETA: :33 < you know why
EQUIUS: D --> Because we’re pale
NEPETA: :33 < yeah! i’m super pale fur you
NEPETA: :33 < but you know why else??
EQUIUS: D --> Why

Nepeta grins, scrunching up her nose and placing her finger on his.

NEPETA: :33 < beclaws you’re stinky :33

Equius sighs, his entire body collapsing in visible relief.

NEPETA: :33 < i love you my stinky stinky boy <>

She says, squishing his cheeks and wiggling his head around. She lets go of his face, satisfied.

EQUIUS: D --> I love you too, Nepeta
EQUIUS: D --> I love you so much

When Equius and Nepeta emerge, John looks uncharacteristically grim, Karkat is asleep, (finally), and Aradia is waiting for them with baited breath.

ARADIA: so
ARADIA: what was your choice
EQUIUS: D -–> I need to seek the highb100d
EQUIUS: D -–> Or else we’ll have no chance of survival

John winces. Aradia exhales.

ARADIA: okay so to be clear
ARADIA: john and i advise against that
EQUIUS: D -–> I know
ARADIA: and there is nothing that i can do to convince you otherwise

Equius casts his gaze to the floor.

EQUIUS: D -–> There is nothing you could reasonably do to convince me otherwise
ARADIA: hm
ARADIA: lets step outside of the room for a moment
EQUIUS: D -–> Oh
EQUIUS: D -–> Of course

The two of them walk silently up the stairs out of the room and down the hallway. Araida is acutely aware of how Equius is looking at her. They both are.

ARADIA: i know what this probably looks like to you and i do sort of want you to leave that at the door if you can

Equius frowns, clearly disappointed.

ARADIA: i just want to see if you can maybe be honest with me now that we’re not in front of everyone else
EQUIUS: D -–> I see
EQUIUS: D -–> And what if I am not inclined to be entirely forthcoming
ARADIA: then at least i can say i tried
EQUIUS: D -–> ...
EQUIUS: D -–> Tell me
ARADIA: equius i know why you are doing this
ARADIA: i mean i dont think its really all that subtle but i feel like i know this part of you better than pretty much everyone except
ARADIA: well
EQUIUS: D -–> E%cept Gamzee

Aradia exhales.

ARADIA: yes
ARADIA: i know this part of you better than anyone except gamzee
ARADIA: so i understand what im asking of you when i say
ARADIA: i know what you want
ARADIA: and it is an incredibly bad idea to get it from him

The two of them sit in that for a moment. Equius closing his eyes and breathing softly.

ARADIA: i know
EQUIUS: D -–> No
EQUIUS: D -–> You do not know
EQUIUS: D -–> As much as you are an e%eption in nearly every aspect, you are not a highb100d
EQUIUS: D -–> On a biological level, you do not understand
ARADIA: yes i do
ARADIA: equius i do
ARADIA: i know its hard to believe but rustbloods do feel attraction, we do get horny, and even if we didnt
ARADIA: i mean
ARADIA: i had your blood at one point
ARADIA: your blood in my veins in my heart that you-
EQUIUS: D -–> I’m sorry

She stares at him for a moment, stunned. God what was he even apologizing for. There were so many options. The chip was the thing she wanted the most, and she had a feeling that that’s what he meant, and it honestly annoyed her that he couldn’t just say that. While it was true that he had apologized immediately after admitting to programming her heart, she had suspected that it had been more a way to grovel at her than it was to express any real regret. Still, she had tried to put the incident past her. In the grand scheme of things, it was bad, but not strictly unforgivable and far from the worst thing a blueblood had ever done to her. It would have been far worse if he had tried to have sex with her, or if he had refused to tell her how to remove the chip. At least she still had the ability to say no to him, that counts for something, right?

No. It doesn’t. And if it did, it wasn’t for much. She’s not going to play defense for him. She shouldn’t have to. It hurt her. It was fucked up.

She’d never really been able to reconcile her opinion of him, which is so odd because she had done it for Vriska. She didn’t even like him dating alternate versions of her, although clearly theywere just fine with it, and seemed to hate her for getting in their way. Was he really that attractive? He was, honestly. Even with the sweat and the broken teeth, she resented that about him, too.

It’s just that he didn’t seem to have learned! Her kissing him just reinforced his bad behavior, he thinks it’s some sort of game! But...she was looking at someone who seemed remorseful. So she wonders... has this version of him even messed with her heart at all? God, that would really make things so simple, wouldn’t it? If it was all just youth? If she was being honest she’d also fantasized about having the power to make someone fall in love with her...hadn’t every child? And that’s what he had been, right? A child? He hadn’t looked much like a child since the onset of puberty. So it was easy to forget that this man was not a man, but a boy. Maybe, when given the chance to actually grow up, he knew better.

She doesn’t want to confirm it, she just wants to imagine. She looks at him, barely even looking at her, and wonders how someone could look so tough and yet so vulnerable. He almost reminds her of Tavros, in some strange way, and that scares her. She pulls him into a hug. He stiffens, then relaxes.

ARADIA: equius
ARADIA: please
ARADIA: i know i cant convince you not to see him
ARADIA: but please
ARADIA: for the love of god
ARADIA: dont do anything stupid

Chapter 15: Flehmen

The five of them travel to the site of the breakers, with Aradia helping keep Karkat steady. He was struggling to breathe deeply without extreme pain. The medication John had given him was only barely helping. He would be better served by opiates, but the situation was too dire for him to lose any of his mental faculties. They needed everyone as down to earth as possible. When they get to the scene, Karkat stops.

KARKAT: OH, FOR FUCKS SAKE, I FORGOT ABOUT THIS CRAP.
ARADIA: what do you mean?
KARKAT: I’M SORRY AM I HALLUCINATING? DO YOU PEOPLE NOT SEE THE SLIME ALL OVER THE GODDAMN BREAKERS?
ARADIA: oh okay i see it now
ARADIA: wow thats really a strange color
ARADIA: john do you have a word for this one
JOHN: i’m so bad with this stuff, but i guess it’s like, mauve?
KARKAT: GOD, WHERE THE HELL IS TEREZI? THIS THE EXACT SITUATION WHERE WE NEED HER.
JOHN: i think she went to go look for tavros.

Equius moves past John and starts fiddling with the panel. The transportalizer whirrs back to life almost immediately.

EQUIUS: D -–> The breakers are fine
EQUIUS: D -–> It appears the highb100d was just turning them on and off at random
KARKAT: OH MY GOD.
KARKAT: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! THAT IS SOMEHOW MORE UNHINGED THAN HIM BREAKING THEM.
KARKAT: ALSO I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ARE ACTUALLY TOUCHING THAT STUFF IT’S DISGUST-
KARKAT: OH MY GOD ARE YOU SMELLING IT!?

Equius’s hand is in front of his face. He’s stood, frozen, mouth slightly open and his upper lip curled ever so slightly.

KARKAT: OKAY FIRST OF ALL WHEN I SAID WE NEEDED TEREZI I MEANT WE NEEDED SOMEONE TO ANALYZE THE EVIDENCE *NOT* SOMEONE TO FUCKING HUFF THAT SHIT WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

He stares at the ceiling, his breathing getting heavier. The four exchange glances as Equius brings his hand closer to his face.

JOHN: are you doing alright there, buddy?
JOHN: i don't know if you’re, like, upset, or you’re scared, or what, but you’re acting really weird right now.

Aradia gives Equius a once over.

ARADIA: oh
ARADIA: okay i see what's going on here
ARADIA: wow
ARADIA: um
ARADIA: equius is this really what we need to be doing right now?
ARADIA: because i feel like there are bigger priorities than-

Suddenly, Equius books it down the hallway in the opposite direction. Towards -Karkat realizes as his blood runs cold- the direction Gamzee went.

NEPETA: :33 < equius no don’t go that way!!!
JOHN: what the fuck!?
KARKAT: NO NO NO
KARKAT: OH MY GOD SOMEONE STOP HIM!

Aradia throws him backwards, the four of them having to dodge as he slams into the wall behind them so hard it dents. He crumples to the ground still panting, covered in sweat and little flecks of plaster. The four of them surround him, Karkat clutching his side.

JOHN: uh...are you okay?
EQUIUS: D -–> I do not know how to answer that question

Nepeta swoops in, prying his hand away from his face and removing his soiled gloves. He looks at her.

EQUIUS: D -–> Can you smell that
NEPETA: :33 < *ac sniffs the gloves, trying to tap into her huntress instincts*

She is similarly entranced by the smell. She pulls back, pupils constricted, and mouth open.

JOHN: okay i’m starting to think this stuff might be like...you know.
KARKAT: WHAT?
JOHN: uh...drugs?
NEPETA: :33 < *the huntress mrrps fiercely in disagr33ment*
NEPETA: :33 < oh no it’s not that!
NEPETA: :33 < it’s just a furry interesting smell
JOHN: Okay so what does it smell like?
NEPETA: :33 < it smells like purrey
NEPETA: :33 < the same fur you equius?

Equius snorts, looking feverish,

EQUIUS: D -–> Not even slightly
NEPETA: :33 < well purrhaps that’s beclaws you nefur hunted!
NEPETA: :33 < you dont know what fear smells like
NEPETA: :33 < it’s animalistic like this
EQUIUS: D -–> I
NEPETA: :33 < you?
EQUIUS: D -–> We'll discuss this later

Equius in a tone that makes it clear that they will discuss it never.

JOHN: so...not to be rude, but i think you should probably take a shower or some thing. this is really getting out of hand.
JOHN: nepeta if you wanna come with me, karkat, and aradia, we probably should probably check on the computer room. oh and equius?
JOHN: i was gonna let you sort of make your own decisions here, but if THIS is your reaction to just...smelling the electric panel? i really don’t think you are gonna be able to hack it in a two way confrontation this guy. honestly, i’m not even sure i trust you in the computer room if there’s going to be more of that um...what ever that stuff is.
EQUIUS: D --> I thought we had a plan, why are we straying from it
KARKAT: COUNTERPOINT, IT WAS A SHIT PLAN AND IT DESERVES TO BE STRAYED FROM.
KARKAT: JUST BECAUSE I’M INJURED DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT STILL YOUR LEADER. SO THAT’S AN ORDER, TRY NOT TO LOSE YOUR SHIT OVER IT!
JOHN: oh, are we still doing the leader thing?
KARKAT: OBVIOUSLY.
JOHN: wait, so i was the leader of the humans...and you’re the leader of the trolls. so are you leading me or am i leading you? because i am pretty sure i have to lead you.
KARKAT: UGH, WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS SO DIFFICULT.
KARKAT: IT’S SIMPLE, EGBERT. WE’RE CO-LEADERS.
KARKAT: YOU CAN LEAD ME, AND I’LL LEAD EVERYBODY ELSE. BUT DON’T THINK THAT MEANS I LIKE YOU. WE STILL HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS, THE TWO OF US.
JOHN: uh..what?
KARKAT: UGH, I’M NOT EXPLAINING THIS TO EVERYONE ON THIS GODDAMN METEOR.I’M SURE YOU’LL FIGURE IT OUT EVENTUALLY.
NEPETA: :33 < *ac raises her paw, she has an idea she would like to share with the leaders*
JOHN: yeah? what is it?
NEPETA: :33 < equius what if you go look fur gamzee and john and i will come with you to make sure you’re okay!
KARKAT: FINE. IT’S SETTLED. EQUIUS YOU CAN GO HUMILIATE YOURSELF AND DIE LIKE A MORON, BUT KNOW IT’S GOING TO BE NEPETA WHO SEES YOUR CORPSE.

Nepeta looks at Karkat in horror, Equius moves to comfort her, arms outstretched. She fits herself into them, and relaxes. Equius narrows his eyes at Karkat.

KARKAT: DON’T YOU DARE LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. WE ALL KNOW WHERE THIS GOES IF NOBODY KEEPS YOU IN CHECK.

Equius casts his eyes down. He gently touches his lips to Nepeta’s hair. Nepeta plays with a pocket on his cargo shorts, picking off little lint balls.

EQUIUS: D --> Fine
EQUIUS: D --> I am going to take a shower
EQUIUS: D --> And then we will leave together and confront the Highb100d

Nepeta sighs in relief.

NEPETA: :33 < a apurriciate you being willing to compurrmise
EQUIUS: D --> Thank you, Nepeta
EQUIUS: D --> Alright. That’s enough horsing around
JOHN: (nice.)
EQUIUS: D --> That was unintentional
JOHN: who makes puns unintentionally!?
EQUIUS: D --> It happens when I'm nervous
JOHN: (pfft.)
JOHN: okay guys, we gotta get a move on!
JOHN: i guess we’ll see you in a little bit!

Nepeta purrs into his chest, squeezing him before getting up, he leans into her, ever so gently, but it still pushes her head to the side. She dabs him off, and kisses his forehead.

NEPETA: :33 < bye equius,
NEPETA: :33 < i will s33 you later
EQUIUS: D --> Goodbye Nepeta

He stares at her, brows furrowed. Before getting up and dusting himself off.

JOHN: alright guys, i think we’re going to have to do this.

Chapter 16: Triage

All of them were nervous, but none of them could have possibly expected anything this bad. There was just so much blood. In pools on the floor and in streaks on the tables and in splatters all over the walls.

KARKAT: NO!

As if he hadn’t said it enough. His voice breaks as he rushes towards Kanaya, shaking her, cradling her on his lap. She looked so pale, so cold. The rest of them stand in shock. Nepeta chokes out a sob. Aradia and John look at one another. John feels sick to his stomach. Images of his father’s lifeless body flash in front of him. He hadn’t seen a scene this bad, this bloody, since then. The epic clash of might that had been their final battle had been nothing compared to this. It was almost more violent because of it’s quietness. Aradia reaches out and grabs his hand. It’s warm, and comforting.

ARADIA: what do you want to do now
JOHN: i...

He splutters, starting to hyperventilate. He can’t get the image of his father out of his head. He kneels down beside Eridan and Sollux. Both of them are rigid, but a look at Feferi reveals she’s not.

JOHN: oh my god.
JOHN: i think, uh.

He looks at Aradia helplessly, she’s quiet, thinking.

JOHN: does this doom-
ARADIA: not necessarily
JOHN: don’t we need sollux?
ARADIA: we have the ring of life remember
JOHN: i-

A lump forms in his throat. Right. Obviously they would need that for one of the players. It was stupid for him to think otherwise.

JOHN: we have four people!
ARADIA: right!
ARADIA: so what do you want to do?

He furrows his brows at her. Why did she have to put this all on him? She knew these people better, he had no idea who most of them even were! What would his Dad tell him to do? Look for the helpers. He’d say to call 911, is what he’d do. But there was no 911 here, so he had to settle for the next best thing.

JOHN: okay guys i know this is gonna sound super weird, but i think we need to try some thing.
JOHN: i don’t think eridan and sollux are going to make it either way, but feferi and kanaya might if we do this so uh
JOHN: i don’t know how to explain this very well but um.

John pulls Feferi out onto the floor so she’s lying flat on her back.

JOHN: nepeta you’re stronger than me, so you’re gonna need to do this part.

Nepeta rushes over, still crying, but resolute.

JOHN: interlock your fingers like this over her heart.

He puts one hand over the other and laces his fingers together. She does the same over Feferi's heart.

JOHN: and then just push rhythmically like 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4.
NEPETA: :(( < her ribs are pressing down!
JOHN: that means it’s working!

Aradia and Karkat start to do the same with Kanaya, with aradia doing chest compressions and Karkat sitting above her.

JOHN: okay karkat i need you to start doing rescue breaths!
KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!
JOHN: just blow into her mouth!
KARKAT: WHAT!? HOW!?
JOHN: like this!

John blows into Feferi’s mouth, as hard as he can. He can feel little wisps of breath magic pass between, as he cups her face.

KARKAT: EGBERT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU-

All of a sudden, Feferi’s eyes flutter wide open and she gasps, sitting upright! Nepeta rushes to hug her and Feferi hugs back.

FEFERI: Jo)(n!? Aradia!? Water you doing )(ere!?
FEFERI: I t)(oug)(t I was gonner for s)(ore!

Kakrat looks over in shock and while Aradia gives her a very brief thumbs up and a grin before going back to Kanaya.

ARADIA: alright karkat you’re on!

Feferi looks down at Sollux and Eridan.

FEFERI: O)(...
FEFERI: O)( my cod...
FEFERI: Do you need me to )(elp!?
FEFERI: Is there anyt)(ing we can do for t)(em!?
JOHN: i...i mean you can try.
JOHN: but this thing only works when you’re sort of dead, not like, fully dead.
FEFERI: )(ow do you know if they’re fully dead?
NEPETA: :33 < um...
NEPETA: :33 < so purrhaps this is relevant
NEPETA: :33 < it does apurr that somebody wrote the word “DEAD” right next to them.
JOHN: what the...

Nepeta’s right. Both Eridan and Sollux are lying down, the words “DEAD” scrawled next to each of them in violet and gold respectively.

JOHN: ...
JOHN: well. that’s fucked up.
JOHN: but uh, yeah i think i agree they seem pretty fully dead to me.
NEPETA: :33 < do you think gamz33 did that!? that’s clawful!!!
FEFERI: GAMZ-E-E!? W)(at!?
JOHN: oh yeah, gamzee’s super evil now.
FEFERI: 3:O!!! But, )(e was so peaceful! I was s)(ore )(e didn't )(ave it in )(im!
KARKAT: APPARENTLY HE’S HAD SOME SORT OF BULLSHIT CELESTIAL EPIPHANY WHERE HE FOUND HIS GODDAMN CALLING AS A SOCIOPATH MURDERER WHO RUINS ALL OUR LIVES FOR NO DISCERNABLE REASON.
FEFERI: I mean, I can shore sea t)(at now!
JOHN: so... are you like, good?
FEFERI: O)( cod, no. T)(is )(urts like S)(-ELL. But, t)(at’s ireelevant in the grand seame of things. W)(ere is everyone else?
JOHN: ugh, so equius is going to try and go reason with gamzee.
FEFERI: W)(ale, t)(at s)(ounds like a )(orribubble plan!
KARKAT: WE KNOW. WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS.
JOHN: as far as i know, every one else is out looking for tavros. actually, nepeta maybe you and i should go check in on them while equius is still in the shower.
NEPETA: :33 < ok!
JOHN: karkat you stay here!
KARKAT: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK!? ARE WE SERIOUSLY SPLITTING UP? HOW MUCH LONGER DO I HAVE TO KEEP DOING-

But John’s already gone.

Notes:

https://nationalcprfoundation.com/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwy8i0BhAkEiwAdFaeGLw9ZVs7rGRhAOZ7qI5LrcqyrLHNCMsf0QPAaBJth_AdAH9JMKIXJxoCK9gQAvD_BwE

Chapter 17: Coltnapped

Equius had to try and calm himself down. He had, instinctively, thought of messaging Gamzee for help and that thought had been so ironic it made his head spin. Highblood. The thought mercilessly destroys him. Tears him to shreds, it sinks its teeth into his throat, it nestles its beautiful claws into his hair, and it just pulls and it pulls and it pulls until he’s drowning in it, gasping for air on the floor of the shower.

There is no relief.

The porcelain starts to crack with the pressure from his fingers. He turns the temperature down, way down, and lets the shower run on him. He showers often. He’d been called out on smelling like sweat when he was younger and had been incredibly stringent about staying clean ever since. This is his third since he came onto the meteor. The last was maybe two hours ago. He likes the white milk soap he grew up with, the kind that came in a lovely deep blue box, stamped with a lovely gold seal. It smelled earthy and animalistic and a little bit sweet. He had learned the hard way that that smell, along with everything else about him, was a bit of a hit or miss with other trolls. But he never smelled unclean, he made sure of it.

He feels unclean, though. The fact that he had slipped up and reacted when Nepeta was on his lap was unforgivable, it didn’t matter if she didn’t care, he did. He has a problem, and she was being a good moirail for trying to soothe him about it, but it didn’t make a meaningful difference as to whether or not it existed. It wasn’t her duty to fix this. That was his. And he couldn’t do it. Nor could he ask to put it on anyone else.

So he gets out of the shower, puts on a fresh pair of clothes (he kept a few in his Sylladex for times like these), and dries his hair. The heat of the blow dryer makes him start to sweat again, but he at least looks significantly more presentable. He exits the bathroom, expecting to have to traverse the entire meteor, expecting that Gamzee is hiding somewhere, that he does not want his plans disturbed and will be very cross with him when they are.

He doesn’t expect Gamzee to be waiting for him.

GAMZEE: don’t motherfucking ruin this for me.

An arrow whizzes through Equius’s horns, striking the wall behind him. Gamzee shoves Equius up against a wall, hand over his mouth. There’s a little bit of resistance from Equius, mostly out of sheer surprise, but it crumbles. There’s a slight rumble.

GAMZEE: WHAT DID I-

Footsteps. Equius watches the Gamzee’s eyes grow wide, before he turns to leave, grabbing Equius by hair and dragging him down the hallway.

EQUIUS: D --> Highb100d
EQUIUS: D --> We need-
GAMZEE: save it.

Equius is having trouble even getting his bearings on where they are, let alone where they’re going. It’s so dark, and this is uncharted territory. After several flights of stairs it was a wonder neither of them fell down, he can feel himself getting pulled through a transportalizer into yet another dark room. In it, Gamzee corners Equius, who shrinks into the wall in his deference.

GAMZEE: YOU TALK A BIG MOTHERFUCKING GAME.
GAMZEE: a motherfucker notices that sort of devotion from another motherfucker.

Gamzee whispers, advancing on him. Equius bites his lip.

EQUIUS: D --> Thank you highb100d

Gamzee laughs, then goes silent.

GAMZEE: BUT I’M NOT CONVINCED HE CAN PUT HIS MONEY WHERE HIS MOUTH IS.
GAMZEE: you can’t trust a motherfucker who hides his eyes like that.
GAMZEE: YOU START TO GET THE FEELING HE’S GONNA MOTHERFUCKING CROSS YOU.
EQUIUS: D --> I
EQUIUS: D --> Take them off then

Gamzee reaches over to touch his face, pulling off his glasses.

GAMZEE: nah, i’m not convinced.
EQUIUS: D --> How can i convince you
GAMZEE: YOU PROVE ME THE MOTHERFUCK WRONG.
GAMZEE: kneel.

Equius hesitates. He was supposed to be trying to reason with the Highblood. He really was intending to do that, not to cave so easily like this. Had he already ruined his chance? He could feel Gamzee’s breathing get rougher. He could feel him seething. No. It would be unwise to trust a human and his lowblood leader over his own instincts. He knew highbloods better than any of them. He sinks to his knees. Gamzee pauses, pats Equius on the head. Equius’s breath catches, feeling the heat, always present but now unbearable, spread through him like milk in a black coffee. Gamzee gets something out of his sylladex. It’s a candle, a few actually. They light up the room softly. Equius raises an eyebrow before he realizes what sort of candles they are. On Alternia, all non-votive candles are mandated to be in glass jars, to never be less than two thirds as wide as they were tall. These are long, thin, and mounted to candle holders. Shoot. His eyes flit upwards to see an arrow pointed at his head.

GAMZEE: LOOK AT ME YOU MOTHERFUCKING TRAITOR.

This was a sacrifice.

Chapter 18: Elementary, Dear Egbert

John and Nepeta transport into the hallway. Terezi is there, waiting for them, dressed as redglare. It’s a classic, but this time it’s got a twist. She’s wearing a plaid deerstalker cap, red and teal. It clashes with her outfit, even with the matching color scheme.

JOHN: oh my god, is that my dad’s pipe?! how did you even get that?!

She puts it in her mouth, but does not light it.

TEREZI: YOU’R3 SO P4R4NO1D

She waves him away.

TEREZI: TH3R3 4R3 MOR3 1MPORT4NT TOP1CS TO 4TT3ND TO

Terezi turns to Nepeta, and hands her a little blue tophat and thows a fake mustache at john.

JOHN: this is stupid.
TEREZI: I GU3SS YOUR3 NOT V3RY COM1TT3D TO FINDING TAVROS!
JOHN: that doesn’t even make sense!
TEREZI: JOHN YOUR M1ND 1SN’T SOPH1ST1C4T3ED 3NOUGH TO COMPR3H3ND MY M3THODS
TEREZI: T4K3 1T N3P3T4
NEPETA: :33 < *ac puts on the mustache and reluctantly replaces her hat, as she finds it much less adorabloodthirsty than her purrivious choice of headwear*
TEREZI: F1N4LLY, SOM3BODY WHO T4K3S TH1NGS S3R1OUSLY
NEPETA: :33 < *the huntress is ready to accept her quest from the mighty dragon, looking furry capable ind33d.*
TEREZI: N3P3T4 I B3LIV3 W3 H4VE A MYST3RY ON OUR H4NDS
TEREZI: 4 M1SS1NG P3RSONS C4SE
TEREZI: FOR TH3 D1SS4P34ANC3 OF T4VROS N1TRAM
NEPETA: :33 < :OO
TEREZI: W3’V3 4LR34DY W4ST3D PR3C1OUS T1M3
TEREZI: 1’M OP3NING AN 1NV3STS1GT1ON
TEREZI: 4ND W3’R3 GONN4 ST4RT A S34RCH P4RTY
NEPETA: :33 < that’s my least favfurite kind of purrty :((
NEPETA: :33 < although i do like searching fur things
TEREZI: TH4TS 3C4CTLY WHY 1 3NL1ST3D YOU TWO
TEREZI: JOHN 1S LOR3 4CCUR4T3 BUT 4PP4R3NTLY H3’S TOO PR3C1OUS TO G3T 1NTO COSTUM3.
TEREZI: 4LSO H3’S 4 DUMB4SS.

John rolls his eyes, and with that, the three of them begin the search. Every room is empty aside from the scattered memorabilia of the trolls. They didn’t have a lot of time to settle in. About half an hour passes. Nepeta looks increasingly nervous as they move forward.

NEPETA: :33 < i am starting to worry about my meowrail
NEPETA: :33 < it is furrboding that we haven’t found pounced into him yet

John looks at her. She’s right, he thinks, anxiously.

JOHN: i mean he said he was taking a shower, which i know he did because i can feel the humidity in this hallway! he’s probably waiting from a message for us so that we can meet up. i’ll send a message right now.

John says, taking out his phone.

NEPETA: :33 < well purrhaps but it does make me a little apurrehensive that gamz33 is on the loose and he is nowhere to be found
TEREZI: W4IT WHAT
TEREZI: WHO CAR3S ABOUT-

Terezi holds her arm out and the other two bump into it.

TEREZI: STOP
TEREZI: 1 H34RD SOM3TH1NG

Terezi points. All three of them start racing towards the noise. They arrive seemingly seconds too late. There’s an arrow in the wall and a dent just beneath it. No blood.

NEPETA: :(( < no no no no
TEREZI: FUCK W3 H4V3 TO 4CT F4ST
TEREZI: W41T
TEREZI: TH3R3S 4 SM3LL COM1NG FROM TH4T 41RV3NT.
NEPETA: :33 < *ac wishes to go investigate*
JOHN: (shit.)
TEREZI: *GC TH1NKS TH1S 1S 4 GOOD ID34 4ND 4SS1GNS H3R 1T 4S H3R F1RST OFF1C1AL T4SK*
TEREZI: S2ND 4 D3TA1LED R3PORT
TEREZI: I W4NT NO STONE L3FT UNTURN3D
JOHN: shit!

John grabs Nepeta’s arm.

JOHN: nepeta, please don’t do this!
NEPETA: :33 < why!?

She shakes away from him, jumping up and starting to wrestle the grate off with her claws.

JOHN: i-
JOHN: it’s really important! your life is on the line here!
NEPETA: :33 < i know

She’s so matter of fact. It’s physically painful. John’s running out of ideas.

JOHN: please.

Nepeta is able to pry the grate off, and it crashes to the ground. John remembers then, the first time he had ever seen Gamzee. It was during the retcon, he was on the roof of the meteor. That placid smile on his face, scratched by her claws, olive blood still dripping off of those bowling pins.

JOHN: nepeta.
JOHN: there’s only one person who can save equius from gamzee.
JOHN: and it’s equius
JOHN: not you.

Tears wells in her eyes. She looks at the vent, then at John. John thinks she’s about to burst out crying, but she doesn’t. Instead, she inhales.

NEPETA: :33 < well if i purrish, then at least i know i tried!

And with that, she scrambles into the vent.

JOHN: STOP!

John grabs the tail end of her jacket, pulling her towards him. She hisses, metal claws screeching and sparking as they dig into the metal. He keeps pulling, and nearly fully prying her out.

NEPETA: LET GO!

She hisses, voice breaking into a sob.

JOHN: NO!

So she swipes at him. John flies back. Reeling. There was no question about it. If she had hit, it would have been a heroic death. She wouldn’t have intended to, she was trying to cut the cloth between them, but it was a messy swipe and she was INCHES away from his jugular. Without a plan B. Without a second chance. It would have been the end of everything, and before he even has time to process it, Nepeta is gone.

JOHN: SHIT!
TEREZI: R3L4X.
JOHN: terezi, why didn’t you HELP ME!?
JOHN: i thought i gave you the list!
JOHN: it specifically told nepeta not to go in the vents!
TEREZI: OH COM3 ON TH1S IS G3TT1NG R3D1CULOUS, YOU R34LLY N33D TO G3T W1TH TH3 PROGR4M
TEREZI: TH4T L1ST 1S BULLSH1T AND FULL OF L13S
JOHN: it’s YOUR LIST!
TEREZI: WH1CH 1S HOW 1 KNOW TH4T!
TEREZI: YOU’V3 B33N DOUBL3 CROSS3D 3GB3RT
TEREZI: 1T’S 3X4CTLY TH3 SORT OF TH1NG 1 WOULD DO, WH1CH 1S HOW 1 KNOW 1 DID 1T
JOHN: terezi i know what happened to you guys! this list is pretty solid advice based on everything i’ve seen work! she was SO CLEAR that this CAN’T HAPPEN!
TEREZI: OK4Y TWO TH1NGS
TEREZI: ON3, YOU TH1NK1NG 1T’S “SOL1D” 1SN’T 3X4CTLY CONV1NC1NG
TEREZI: TWO, 1 DON’T G1V3 4DV1CE, I G1VE CLU3S
TEREZI: AND TH3S3 JUST SO HAPP3N3D TO B3 EGBERT PROOF
TEREZI: TH1NK 4BOUT 1T, WH3N HAS MY 4DV1C3 WORKED TH3 WAY YOU THOUGHT 1T WAS SUPPOS3D TO?
JOHN: never!
JOHN: it’s been a total disaster!
JOHN: tavros didn’t fight vriska but he’s still missing! eridan didn’t betray any one but he and sollux are both dead anyways! And Kanaya might have been able to save the matriorb but we were going to get that back anyways! other than feferi living, there has been NO PROGRESS!

Terezi sighs, leaning her chin on her cane.

TEREZI: P4T13NC3, 3GB3RT
TEREZI: YOU C4N’T S33 TH3 POSS1B1LT13S 1N TH3 W4Y 1 C4N
TEREZI: B3FOR3 YOU SHOW3D UP W3 H4D V3RY F3W P4THS FORW4RD TH4T D1DN’T 3ND 1N TOT4L AN1H1LL4T1ON
TEREZI: TH4T’S NO LONGER TH3 C4S3
TEREZI: B3S1D3S
TEREZI: DO YOU R34LLY TH1NK L3SS TH4N 4 HOURS 1S LONG 3NOUGH TO W4TCH TH1S 4LL PL4Y OUT
TEREZI: YOU’V3 DON3 3NOUGH H3R3
TEREZI: NOW W3 W41T 4ND S-

A blood curdling scream rips through the hallway. It’s Nepeta. John’s heart sinks like a rock.

TEREZI: GO

Chapter 19: The Enemy of My Enemy

John thought he knew what he’d find on the other side of that vent. Terezi had prepared him for it. But it isn’t Equius that lies dead on the floor in front of them, and it’s definitely not Nepeta. It’s Tavros . If it weren’t for his distinctive blood and his horns he wouldn’t have been recognizable. That and the innocent face trapped in a permanent expression of horror. And there’s that fucking mauve all over him. John vomits in one of the empty chests.

TEREZI: JOHN G3T YOUR SH1T TOGETHER TH1S 1S 4 FUCK1NG CR1ME SC3N3
NEPETA: >:(( < HOW COULD YOU VRISKERS!
VRISKA: Oh for fuck’s sake, Nepeta, will you just w8 for one second so I can expl8-

Nepeta lunges at Vriska, claws out and poised to kill. Vriska grabs her by the wrists and slams her against the wall behind her.

VRISKA: Where. The fuck. Is your moirail?

She hisses, their faces inches apart. Nepeta’s deflates.

NEPETA: :(( < he’s gone

Vriska pulls back, her eyes widening.

VRISKA: What the fuck do you mean, gone!?!?!?!? Gone, dead?
NEPETA: :33 < gone missing! just now!
VRISKA: Okay, then. Fuck this. We don’t have time to spare. How do you get us out of here? JOHN!

She snaps her fingers.

JOHN: no!
JOHN: every one stop! we need to step back and figure this the HELL out!
JOHN: vriska!
JOHN: why did you kill tavros?

He’s mad. How can she just not care!? He can’t believe he had ever had feelings for her. How had he not cared back then!? How had he had no idea how callous she was!? She made it sound so much more complicated, but Tavros had never had a chance! She had baited him into all of this, it was just an excuse to do what she wanted to anyways!

VRISKA: Oh for FUCKS sake I was FR8MED!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: Can’t you morons see that!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Terezi kneels beside Tavros, and takes a closer look at the body. Broken ribs. Head injury… She looks at the wall, it’s painted with blood spatter up to the ceiling. There were divetts where Tavros had kicked into the metal wall with his legs. He had been slammed into the wall repeatedly. Possibly dozens of times, before he finally passed and yet, most of the damage was done post mortem. His chest, legs, and abdomen are eviscerated. His head was cut almost clean off. She’s trying to get a read on the mauve.

VRISKA: Doesn’t this seem a liiiiiiiitle too easy!? I’m the last person to have heard from him-

She’s not. John thinks. He is.

VRISKA: -and he said he was going to kill me! I mean o8viously if he had shown up, I would have wiped the floor with him. 8ut hedidn’t.

John and Terezi stare at one another, exhausted. It’s such a laughably bad argument, but it doesn’t matter. They can’t kill her. They’ll have to spare her from justice no matter the outcome.

TEREZI: ...
TEREZI: SH3’S R1GHT
JOHN: right!? how is she right!?
TEREZI: S33, N3P3T4 TH1S 1S WHY 1 M4D3 YOU W4TSON
TEREZI: T3LL H1M
NEPETA: :33 < there’s no blood
NEPETA: :33 < a kill like this would have purrtainly left her covered in it
JOHN: trolls can change their god tiers...
TEREZI: TH4T’S 4 GOOD PO1NT-

Nepeta shakes her head.

NEPETA: :33 < i caught her off guard
TEREZI: SH3 COULD B3 F8KING 1T
VRISKA: Uh, I’m right here!

Terezi turns to look at her, head half cocked to the side, vacant red eyes staring.

TEREZI: VR1SK4, D1D YOU MURD3R T4VROS?
VRISKA: No. I already told you, I was fr8med.
TEREZI: BY WHO
VRISKA: Well if I knew THAT, you’d think I’d 8e telling you, wouldn’t I!
NEPETA: :33 < it’s gamz33

John’s heart drops. She’s right. He knows she’s right. How could he have been so stupid!? Terezi had warned him about this exact thing and he had fallen for it.

VRISKA: What!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I was thinking may8e Eridan. Trying get me 8ack 8y living up to his ancestor or something like that. Gamzee’s a wuss. There’s no waaaaaaaay he’s c8pa8le of this shit!

Terezi sighs.

TEREZI: 1 H4D MY SUSP1C1ONS OF H1M 4S 4 PL4Y3R 4ND 4S 4 P3RSON
TEREZI: BUT 1 4LW4YS THOUGHT TH3Y W3R3 ROOT3D 1N P4R4NO14
VRISKA: Why?
TEREZI: TO B3 HON3ST 1 JUST THOUGHT H3 W4S 4 CR33P 4ND 4 LOS3R
TEREZI: H3 D1DN’T S33M TO C4R3 1F H3 M4D3 P3OPL3 UNCOMFORT4BL3 4ND SOM3T1M3S 1 F3LT L1K3 H3 W4S S4B4TOGING MY GO4LS W1TH SGRUB BY PURPOS3FULLY 4CT1NG L1KE 4 DUMB4SS
VRISKA: I mean I thought he was just stupid.
TEREZI: TH4TS WH4T 1 TOLD MYS3LF
TEREZI: ...
VRISKA: ........

Vriska paces, trying to put two and two together.

VRISKA: When was the last time you saw Equius?
NEPETA: :33 < we had just left him so he could take a shower because we didn’t think he could fight gamz33 on his own!
VRISKA: Well, duh. That choice is o8vious,considering they were d8ing.

Everyone turns towards Vriska, mouths on the fucking floor.

TEREZI: >:O
NEPETA: :OO < :OO
JOHN: WHAT!?!?!?
VRISKA: I mean, I don’t know if it was official, 8ut when we were neigh8ors I l8erally heard them talking for HOURS every day. Something was going on. I’d 8et on it.
NEPETA: :33 < fur how long
VRISKA: Sweeps, probably.

Nepeta looks like she’s been hit with a ton of bricks.

NEPETA: :(( < he...nefur told me
VRISKA: Yeah, 8ecause it’s fucking em8arrassing.
NEPETA: :33 < but i wouldn’t have judged him!
VRISKA: Nepeta, If I were Gamzee Makara’s long term, long distance, low commitment, casual girlfriend, I would kill myself. Frankly, I think he’s just a8out the only person who wouldn’t. 8ut telling you!? Telling anyone!? That’s simply just too much for a soul to 8ear. Even his.

Nepeta’s shrinks down to her knees. John sits beside her, putting his arm around her. She leans in.

NEPETA: :33 < i’m sorry
NEPETA: :33 < fur almost hurting you
JOHN: i’m sorry for what i said.
JOHN: i would have done the same thing if it had been some body i loved.

Vriska walks over to the two of them, arms folded.

VRISKA: Listen, I know I’m a suspect. I get that this looks really 8ad, and you all pro8a8ly think I should 8e executed, or wh8ever. 8ut let’s f8ce it, you need me.

Terezi rubs the dragon head on her cane.

TEREZI: W3'R3 GO1NG TO H4V3 4 CONFRONT4T1ON ON TH3 ROOFTOP. 1 W1LL DO 4 SUSP3CT 1NT3RV13W TH3R3.
TEREZI: JOHN, 1F TH3R3'S 4NYTH1NG YOU N33D TO DO B3FOR3 TH3 T1M3R RUNS OUT, NOW 1S YOUR CH4NC3.

John takes out the ring of life, and puts it on his finger. He sighs.

JOHN: yeah, actually.
JOHN: i think i have an idea.

Chapter 20: String of Fate

Jade Harley is sobbing, the spectagoggles on the ground in front of her, cracked. Aradia appears in front of her and she gasps.

JADE: oh my god! aradia, you’re alive!
JADE: and youre here to come help!
ARADIA: i am
ARADIA: but first
ARADIA: do you need a hug?
JADE: yes :(

Aradia leans in and Jade melts into her. She hadn’t had a hug from anyone except Bec for so long. Aradia is soft, and she feels human even if she isn’t. Jade settles on her chest, and Aradia runs her fingers through Jade’s hair. She feels guilty for feeling better, but she does. It’s so wonderful just to feel that touch, and it warms something within her she didn’t even realize was frozen solid.

ARADIA: its going to be okay.
JADE: i dont believe you. this is all my fault, we never should have played this stupid game!
JADE: i should have at the very least fought against it!
JADE: i was so selfish :(
JADE: all i wanted was for us to be able to be together
JADE: i never imagined this
JADE: i should have just lived with it
ARADIA: jade

Aradia runs her hair through Jade's hair.

ARADIA: you know better than anyone that our fates were sealed from the moment we were conceived
ARADIA: its not your fault

Jade sniffles, eyes red. Aradia hands her a tissue and she blows.

JADE: oh i mean what am I even saying! i know all that
JADE: im not stupid
JADE: it’s just hard to not think of what could have been when i feel so helpless
JADE: and on top of that i feel like a hypocrite after what i just said to jadesprite!
JADE: i was going on and on about how we needed to have hope and how we could trust in the future
JADE: but she was right! my visions were wrong!
JADE: i dont know what to do :(
JADE: i feel like ive been trying to hold it together for SO SO long just carrying the weight of of the UNIVERSE on my shoulders
JADE: and im just so tired
ARADIA: i know its hard but youre not going to have to do this alone. we are going to work together this time!
ARADIA: have you made the deal with your denzien yet?
JADE: yes :(
ARADIA: okay thats good!
ARADIA: i am going to try and keep things as similar to he blueprint of the alpha timeline as possible
ARADIA: so i cant intervene in every respect
ARADIA: but once you go godtier we are going to get both your and my planets back, that way we can bring tavros and everyone else whos dead back!
JADE: ...
JADE: tavros?

They look at eachother, confused.

ARADIA: i assumed that you saw him, and that was why you were crying. after all, dave is perfectly fine! i did check on him.
JADE: what!? :O
JADE: thats not...
JADE: i mean i guess it is sad that tavros is dead, but no offense, that probably wouldnt make me cry this much, i just dont know him all that well
JADE: and its not about dave this time...
JADE: its...

She can barely even get the words out.

JADE: its about john. :(

Chapter 21: Funeral for a Living Man

John looks on the battle ground. It’s all going to be worth it. He thought. Just one more dead body and it will all be worth it. This was going to be the bravest thing he ever did. Braver than fighting Lord English, that’s for sure. Maybe his dad wasn’t meant to live, but at least, at least he needed to have the chance to say goodbye. To send both him and Rose’s mother off in the proper way. However, when John reaches the battlefield, it’s not his father’s body he finds, it’s his own. His father, very much alive, is clutching John’s corpse, sobbing as he caresses his face.

JOHN: ...
JOHN: dad?

Dad looks up, stunned. He looks at the body in his hands, unsure what to do.

DAD: ...
DAD: SON?
JOHN: DAD!

John rushes him, nearly knocking him over. The two of them hug. For the first time in a decade, John is bawling; he can hear from his father’s breathing that he’s just barely holding it together. His Dad pulls him back, looking at his face.

DAD: WHAT HAPPENED?

John falters, staring at his own corpse. It dawns on him. It had been 5 years. this corpse wasn’t his. This was another John. A John with five years of experience he’d never have. But this was his dad. His Dad. Back from the dead, back to see him, Then, he remembers Typheus’s warning.

JOHN: ...
JOHN: oh my god.
JOHN: oh, no, no, no.
JOHN: dad, i think i messed up.

John felt horrible about it, but it was such a relief to say that. To finally confide in a parent after relying on himself for so long.

DAD: WHAT’S WRONG?
JOHN: ugh, it’s really complicated but i think, i think i ruined everything. i wasn't supposed to be here. i think me being here...killed me!

John expects his father to be mad. Expects him to immediately turn on him. He was so used to being told he had ruined everything. And in many ways, he had! He had ruined everything.

DAD: NO, SON.
DAD: YOU SAVED ME.
DAD: YOU JUMPED IN FRONT OF JACK NOIR.
DAD: EVEN WHEN I TOLD YOU TO RUN.
DAD: SOMETIMES, I WISH YOU WEREN’T SO BRAVE.

Dad’s voice breaks.

JOHN: dad, that’s not...
JOHN: i...

Now they’re both crying. John pulls away.

JOHN: we have to get you some where safe before jack comes back.
DAD: NO. I HAVE TO KEEP YOU SAFE. IT’S MY JOB.
JOHN: wha-
JOHN: oh.
JOHN: oh shit!
DAD: PLEASE MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.
JOHN: sorry, uh, shoot!
JOHN: alright dad, i’ve gotta do a few things. i hope you don’t mind tagging along with me.
DAD: ALRIGHT, I TRUST YOU, SON.

Chapter 22: KARKAT: TROLL THIS WORTHLESS HUMAN

carcinoGeneticist[CG] began trolling ectoBiologist[EB]

CG: ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN.
CG: THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.
CG: IT IS A WRATHFUL GOD WHO DESPISES YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DARED TO FEAR.
CG: I HAVE WATCHED YOUR ENTIRE PATHETIC LIFE UNFOLD.
CG: I HAVE OBSERVED YOU WHILE YOU WOULD QUAKE AND TREMBLE IN PERSONAL PRAYERS OF SHAME.
CG: WHILE YOU PLEADED FORGIVENESS FOR BEING SUCH A WRETCHED DISGUSTING FAILURE ON EVERY CONCEIVABLE LEVEL.
CG: PROSTRATE BEFORE THE STUPID AND FALSE CLOWN GODS YOU HAVE SCRIBBLED ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BLOCK.
CG: BOGUS DEITIES WORSHIPED BY A PRIMITIVE "PARADISE" PLANET.
CG: BUT YOUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE ANSWERED.
CG: THERE ARE NO MIRACLES IN STORE FOR YOU, HUMAN.
CG: ONLY MY HATE.
CG: IT IS A HATE SO PURE AND HOT IT WOULD CONSUME YOUR SAD UNDERDEVELOPED HUMAN THINK PAN TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE.
CG: IT IS A HATE THAT TO FATHOM MUST BE PUT INTO SONG.
CG: SHRIEKED BY THE TEN THOUSAND ROWDY SHOUT SPHINCTERS PEPPERING THE GRUESOME UNDERBELLY OF THE MOST TRUCULENT GOD THE FURTHEST RING CAN MUSTER.
CG: IT IS A HATE THAT MADE YOU AND WILL SURELY DESTROY YOU.
CG: MY HATE IS THE LIFEBLOOD THAT PULSES THROUGH THE VEINS OF YOUR UNIVERSE.
CG: IT IS MY GIFT TO YOU.
CG: YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THAT.
CG: YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT.
EB: aw...i missed you, buddy.
CG: OKAY FIRST OF ALL, SHUT THE HELL UP, NOOKWHIFFER. I WORKED REALLY HARD ON THAT RANT AND I AM NOT ABOUT TO HAVE YOU BRUSH IT OFF MY TROLLING ATTEMPTS LIKE THEY’RE NOTHING.
EB: woah, no way dude! that was epic as hell! i’m thoroughly trolled!
EB: oh man, never lose your sparkle, karkat.
CG: WOW, HOLY SHIT. I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE A PUSHER ATTACK OUT OF SHEER SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT.
CG: ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME? I’M YOUR FUCKING GOD. YOU DON’T TELL GODS NOT TO LOSE THEIR SPARKLE.
CG: ALSO, HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?
EB: listen, this is all old news karkat.
EB: i’m the john human, and i know you because i’ve been talking to you since like, forever!
CG: HOW THE FUCK IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
EB: it isn’t! well, not with out shenanigans. oh boy, we’ve had a lot of shenanigans, but i’m sure none of this makes any sense to you.
EB: ...
EB: i mean it would make a whole lot more sense if you trolled me backwards...
CG: WHO DO YOU TAKE ME FOR? SOME SORT OF MORON? I’M NOT FALLING INTO THIS TRAP. I’VE KNOWN TEREZI LONG ENOUGH TO SMELL SHIT WHEN I SEE IT. YOU’RE GOING TO TRY AND BAIT ME INTO SOMETHING STUPID SO I’LL HAVE TO SCURRY AWAY LIKE A LITTLE SQUEAKBEAST. NO, BULLSHIT. YOU’RE GETTING NOTHING FROM ME.
EB: aw, but it was so easy in my time line!
CG: WAIT...TIMELINE? ARE YOU BRAINDEAD? THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS YOU FUCKING IMBICILE. I CAN TELL YOU FOR SURE THAT I’VE BEEN PLAYING THIS GAME FOR *WAY* LONGER THAN YOU HAVE. SO I THINK I KNOW A THING OR TWO MORE THAN YOU.
EB: if only you knew karkat, if only you knew...
CG: GOD, YOU’RE THE MOST OBNOXIOUS PERSON I’VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF MEETING, AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THAT MEANS IF *I’M* THE ONE SAYING IT. SO NO, JOHN HUMAN. I AM NOT GOING TO TROLL YOU BACKWARDS.
EB: well i mean you sort of have to. i mean look how far along in the game i am! i’ve clearly talked to you, already. any thing else would doom the time line!
CG: ...
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAVE TO HAND IT TO YOU. YOU HAVE REACHED A WHOLE DIFFERENT STRATOSPHERE OF OBSTREPEROUSNESS. NOT ONLY DOES YOUR VERY EXISTENCE MOCK ME, YOU’VE FORCED ME TO HELP YOU RUIN THE VERY UNIVERSE I CREATED. IT’S SOME SORT SICK ATTEMPT AT WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS *COSMIC* DEGRADATION.
EB: that’s referring to the scatch, right?
CG: YES, OBVIOUSLY. HOW COULD IT NOT BE!? YOU ARE PLANNING TO OPEN THE FUCKING RIFT! A PLAN SO STUPID I CAN’T EVEN WRAP MY HEAD AROUND WHAT KIND OF BRAIN DEAD SPECIES WOULD EVEN BE ABLE TO COME UP WITH IT!
EB: oh man, you might want to take that one back considering it was YOUR idea, after all!
EB: hehehe.
CG: DON’T HEHE ME, ASSWHIPE! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN. I’M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET, JOHN. YOU MAY HAVE WON THE BATTLE, BUT YOU HAVE *NOT* WON THE WAR.
EB: i mean sure, except i totally do!
EB: we’re going to meet soon! don’t you worry about it! then, you can troll me until your heart's content!
EB: although you aren’t exactly going to be in great shape when i next see you in person...maybe i’ll pay you guys a visit.
EB: any ways, i gotta go do the thing you’re about to tell me to do! see you in a few hours?
CG: FUCK OFF. I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS, JOHN.
CG: SHIT IS GOING TO GO DOWN! DO YOU HEAR ME! YOU’RE GONNA REGRET EVER CROSSING ME, EGBERT.
EB: is that a yes?
CG: IT’S A FUCK YOU IS WHAT IT IS!
EB: haha, i know you well enough to know that’s basically the same thing!

Chapter 23: "This is the skin of a killer, Karkat"

Despite Feferi waking up almost instantly, the CPR was hopelessly ineffective for Kanaya. Feferi had switched out with Aradia. The logic being that perhaps a life player might yield better results. However, things were starting to look bleak. They had been at it for almost ten minutes now and there was practically no change. She was growing colder by the second.

KARKAT: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. COME ON.
FEFERI: Aw, karkat! don't give up )(ope! Come s)(ell or )(ig)( water we've gotta keep trying!

Karkat exhales, once again, to Kanaya’s mouth. It feels deeply wrong. He forces himself not to cry for an agonizing five more minutes. Then collapses onto her. He could have stopped this. He could have prevented this, and now his friend, the most wonderful, kind friend he’s ever had, is dead. It should be him, instead of her. Anyone but her. He should have stayed and let Gamzee kill them both. At least then he could have been there. At least he could have tried. He’ll never recover. He thinks. The world will, from this point forward, have a Kanaya shaped wound.

KARKAT: FEFERI, WE CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS. SHE’S BEEN DEAD FOR TOO LONG. EGBERT SAID IT HIMSELF IT’S A LOST FUCKING CAUSE.
ARADIA: karkat let me check
ARADIA: if shes really gone i think ill be able to tell

Aradia leans in to listen to Kanaya’s breathing. Feferi gives Karkat a hopeful look, which Karkat returns with one of utter helplessness. Suddenly, Araida yelps.

ARADIA: ack!

Kanaya, who is, clearly, very much alive, has latched onto Aradia’s neck, her arms clamped around her waist. After a few seconds, Kanaya pulls back, gasping, skin glowing with white light. Blood spills onto her shirt. Everyone gasps, including her.

KANAYA: Oh My God
KANAYA: Aradia I Am So Sorry
KANAYA: I Don’t Know What Came Over Me
ARADIA: its okay
ARADIA: were all just glad youre alive
KARKAT: YEAH I MEAN...
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK!?
KANAYA: I Could Not Agree More Karkat
KANAYA: What The Fuck
KANAYA: ...

She turns to Feferi and Aradia, breathing heavily. She reaches out and grabs Karkat’s hand. Karkat finds himself squeezing it for dear life.

KANAYA: Also I Swore You And Feferi Were Both Dead Last Time I Checked
KANAYA: That Appears Not To Be The Case
ARADIA: oh i went godtier!
ARADIA: as i explained to karkat it turns out i had a dreamself on derse nobody knew about
ARADIA: including me
FEFERI: And Jo)(n brought me back to life wit)( )(is god tier magic!
KANAYA: Hm
KANAYA: That Seems About As Convoluted As Everything Else I Have Experienced Over The Last Pedigree
KARKAT: HOLY SHIT KANAYA WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.
KANAYA: I Think I Must Have Been
KANAYA: And Now I Am Undead
KANAYA: So To Speak
FEFERI: I mean it s)(ore looks that way, considering you just tried to take a c)(unk out of Aradia.
KANAYA: I Am Aware
KANAYA: It Is Quite Embarrassing
ARADIA: no need to feel guilty!
ARADIA: im totally fine :D
ARADIA: but you are going to have to find someone else to feed on because ive got a lot on my plate right now
ARADIA: ;)

If Kanaya could have blushed, she would have.

ARADIA: speaking of which we need to head up
ARADIA: don’t forget this
ARADIA: you fought so hard for it

Aradia places the matriorb in Kanaya’s lap. Kanaya holds it close to her chest.

KANAYA: Lets Do This

Notes:

hey, fair warning this is about to get increasingly nsfw. the sex scenes will be plot relevant but increasingly graphic so don't say i didn't warn you

Chapter 24: Or Else Let Him Be Mine, and Mine Alone

Notes:

So the characters specifically reference their "final conversation" in this story a lot, for reference, it's this: https://www.homestuck.com/story/2221. Also, content note: the following chapter depicts severe inter partner violence happening under the veneer of kink/bdsm. If this is disturbing to you, I would recommend approaching the rest of this story with caution, if at all. I've made a bunch of oblique references in the authors notes to the story becoming "more disturbing" and this was the sort of content I was referring to. This is my "dead dove, do not eat" moment. Also note I'd consider this on the border between mature and explicit.

Gamzee needed to get this over with, he could feel his plans slipping through his fingers. It was very bad for him that Terezi was remaining clear headed throughout this. He, in comparison, was losing his grip. Equius was possibly the most important part of his plan and he was struggling to complete the task. In his head he was going to lure Equius out and taunt him. He wanted to watch the light leave his eyes. He wanted to watch him fail to resist the temptation to die for him. What he did not want was for Equius to try and argue with him.

EQUIUS: D --> Highb100d I have no idea what you mean
EQUIUS: D --> My loyalty has been e%eptional
GAMZEE: liar.
EQUIUS: D --> E%plain

Gamzee has to resist the urge to not fire the bow then and there. No. He could bring this back into his control if he was smart about it. The anger he needed was a cool blade, painful and precise, not the flames burning him from the inside out. Equius had spent his life trying to elicit that kind of rage from others, often working off of crumbs, so he could bring Gamzee to the edge without even trying. And it works. Gamzee loses it.

GAMZEE: I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN SHIT YOU MOTHERFUCKING TOLD ME WITH YOUR OWN DAMN MOUTH.
GAMZEE: the last thing you said to me.
GAMZEE: THE LAST THING YOU MOTHERFUCKING SAID TO ME.
GAMZEE: was that you think that
GAMZEE: GUTTERBLOOD
GAMZEE: is better than me.

Equius winces. He tries to hide it, but it’s obvious. The slight crease between his brows, the wrinkle of the nose. Gamzee kicks him back against the wall and points the arrow at his mouth. Equius looks up at him, and Gamzee scowls at the reverent, sinful gaze of those pleading blue eyes.

GAMZEE: AND THEN YOU MOTHERFUCKING LEFT ME
GAMZEE: like i wasn’t.
GAMZEE: SHIT.
GAMZEE: for the whole.
GAMZEE: MOTHER FUCKING PEDIGREE WE WERE THERE.
GAMZEE: and now you come crawling the motherfuck back.
GAMZEE: AND START CALLING YOURSELF LOYAL.
GAMZEE: you’re a motherfucking streetwalker is what you are.
GAMZEE: YOU’RE FREE MOTHERFUCKING USE.

Equius is shaking. Sweat pours down his face. He’s backing up, probably trying to pretend to hide his arousal. An act which is failing miserably. Gamzee’s grip on the bow is so hard he can feel it threaten to break under his hands.

EQUIUS: D --> We only kissed once and she-
GAMZEE: listen motherfucker.
GAMZEE: I DON’T BELIEVE YOU.
GAMZEE: and even if i did.
GAMZEE: EVEN IF I MOTHERFUCKING DID.
GAMZEE: it’s her motherfuckin virtue that kept you clean.
GAMZEE: NOT YOURS.

Gamzee growls, voice dripping with venom. He can see it now. Images of her fucking him. Her fucking him. Her hands tracing his body, him letting her ride him, or, god forbid, put her hands around his neck. He wanted to rip that panel off her throat and let her blood, Equius’s blood, drain from her, leaving her the empty shell she was meant to be.

GAMZEE: i bet you begged her for it.
GAMZEE: I BET YOU BEAT YOURSELF RAW JUST THINKING ABOUT HER REJECTING YOU.

Somehow that’s even worse. Gamzee can feel those angry tears once again. It’s too much. The lying. The treason. Because that’s what it is. Treason. Equius was a traitor for deferring to Aradia, for choosing her when he was-

Oh, but that’s a dangerous thing for him to admit.

He’s allowed to take pleasure in this. He’s not allowed to get invested. Equius doesn’t deserve Gamzee finding him worthy of anything but the gutter. He deserves to be a lowlife, ugly pervert, and the very notion of him being seen as otherwise should be a joke, laughed off by any serious individual. If Gamzee had control of the story, that’s what he’d be. That’s the narrative that deserves to exist. It’s one he’d fight for...

Whether or not it’s true is a different story.

EQUIUS: D --> Highb100d I swear
EQUIUS: D --> I know it sounds difficult to believe
EQUIUS: D --> But my pursuit of her was never based on an assumption that se% was even on the table

Gamzee scowls, almost offended.

GAMZEE: that’s a joke.
GAMZEE: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BELIEVE SOMETHING SO MOTHERFUCKING STUPID.
EQUIUS: D --> Because
EQUIUS: D --> I could destroy her
EQUIUS: D --> It would not be worth the risk to try
EQUIUS: D --> My strength is ungovernable
EQUIUS: D --> I cannot e%ercise enough control not to hurt myself or someone else irreparably if I seek relief
EQUIUS: D --> So I don’t

Gamzee’s grip loosens, ever so slightly. It was a story tailor made to convince him. The only way in which Equius would be a viable supplicant, considering he knew the rules, was if he had no choice. It’s too perfect of a story. It must be a lie. He should dismiss it outright and kill Equius for the inconvenience. He should... but what if it’s true? .

 

GAMZEE: i spilled those righteous secrets to you in confidence.
GAMZEE: SO WHEN YOU GO ALL MOTHERFUCKING IMPLYING SHIT A MOTHERFUCKERS GOTTA ACT SUSPICIOUS.
EQUIUS: D --> I have no proof
EQUIUS: D --> And I don’t e%pect you to believe me

He wants to know more than anything, and it’s unverifiable. Equius had always come off as someone experienced, someone who knew what he was doing, but very little of Equius was visible upon first glance. Also, it’s not entirely unbelievable. He had been cloistered away in his castle from the world since he was so young, and all he really ever did once he entered the game was try and strengthen his Moirallegiance. He did kiss Aradia, but, compared to everyone else, Equius was romantically committed to very few people. Aside from a bit of casual flirtation that never really went anywhere, it really only was, in the concupiscent quadrants, Aradia and Gamzee. He’d rejected everyone else. And she was out of the picture. Now that he thought about it, Equius had never asked anyone for sex. He’d even rejected the advances of Eridan and Vriska, as rumors would suggest. Even his roleplays with Gamzee weren’t explicit. Poor thing. All he had ever wanted was to be obedient.

Maybe Doc Scratch had given something for his trouble. An apology for everything his so called “friends” had put him through. It wasn’t his first choice, maybe not even his second, but he’ll do. Gamzee smirks.

GAMZEE: it must have fucked you up, then. us talking like that.
GAMZEE: THOSE CONVERSATIONS WE HAD PROBABLY HAD YOU SQUIRMING IN ALL SORTS OF WAYS.
EQUIUS: D --> They did

Equius averts his eyes. There was, upon closer inspection, something vulnerable about him. Maybe even something innocent. Gamzee scans his face, then prods the arrow against his lips.

GAMZEE: open.
EQUIUS: D --> What
GAMZEE: YOUR MOUTH YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER WHAT DO YOU THINK.

Equius opens his mouth, somewhat curiously, resting his lip on it. Hm. He really needs someone to lead him. That could be a sign of inexperience. Gamzee throws the bow aside and wrenches Equius’s mouth open with his fingers. Equius is pliant, which was to be expected, but Gamzee could already tell how tense each muscle was. He examines the upper palate for bruising. There is none. That gives him faith. He had a feeling that Equius wasn’t the sort of person who would have sex infrequently, it was all or nothing. He slides three fingers down Equius’s soft palate and into the back of his throat. It’s a trick. It would be impolite to choke, but if Equius knows how to suppress his gag reflex, he would have had to have learned to do so. That, of course, would mean an arrow through the throat. Gamzee has no patience for this sort of charade. It disgusts him. Vriska would do it. She is the exact kind of person who pretends to be worthy of him. She’d pretend not to know what she’s doing then suck on his fingers with a grin. Equius, though, gags. Hard. It’s unbelievably tight on the swallow and he whimpers so nicely. His teeth scrape a little on Gamzee’s hand, leaving a tiny scratch as Gamzee’s hand leaves his mouth. Equius panics when he notices the injury.

EQUIUS: D --> Highb100d I sincerely apologize
EQUIUS: D --> the last thing I wanted was to injure you, let spill your precious b100d in-
GAMZEE: SHUT UP.

Gamzee hits him hard, even though he doesn’t care. He just wants the reaction. Equius falls backwards, nearly knocking over several of the candles as his raven hair catches their soft glow. Then, Gamzee leans into the light, and Equius’s eyes widen. Only now does he notice the full spectrum of color Gamzee is soaked in...

Fuck.

Gamzee flips, and all at once that white hot flame fills his chest once again.. No. Equius does not get to be scared. Not after everything he’s said. Not after begging for this violence, not after insulting him, going against his own principles and disrespecting him day after day for not committing it. Gamzee can’t even gain the composure to kill, only to maim.

He drops to his knees, taking the arrow from the bow and thrusting it into Equius’s chest, the flames of the candles reflecting on its metal tip. Not deep enough to pierce the ribs, but deep enough to penetrate the muscle, blood soaking through his shirt as it sticks to him. Equius screams in pain and backs into the corner as Gamzee keeps thrusting it into him. Over, and over, and over. His cries are desperate, calling out to nothing and no one. Gamzee finally stops, and the two of them look at one another, Equius’s breathing getting deeper and the sheen of sweat starting to stream in rivulets down his face. Gamzee backs away. holding up the light to his chest.

GAMZEE: tell me if i got any of your blood on me.

Equius pants.

GAMZEE: ANSWER ME. I DON’T WANT ANY OTHER MOTHERFUCKER TO KNOW I TOUCHED YOU.
EQUIUS: D --> On your
EQUIUS: D --> Hands
EQUIUS: D --> Highb100d

Gamzee growls.

GAMZEE: fix it.

Equius, devoted even through his agony, does as requested, taking a towel and a water bottle from his sylladex. Gamzee had never seen anyone look so flushed. Highbloods never even get warm and he’s hot. He leans forward, crawling onto his knees, and pours the water over Gamzee’s hands, rinsing the blue from them. Then, he collapses forward onto the floor. Still conscious, Gamzee notes as he grabs Equius’s horns and pulls him back to a position where he can sit half upright, but still writhing.

GAMZEE: I THOUGHT IT WAS YOUR DUTY TO TAKE THIS SHIT.
GAMZEE: i thought that was what you motherfucking wanted.
EQUIUS: D --> Highb100d please

It’s less a cry for mercy than it is a plea for his own resistance. Gamzee shakes his head.

GAMZEE: MOTHERFUCKER THIS IS SACRED PAIN.
GAMZEE: that’s why you’ve got that drive for it.
GAMZEE: I KNOW YOU THINK THAT SHIT FEELS GOOD, DON’T YOU?

Equius pauses, closes his eyes, and after a long silence, nods. Gamzee smiles, crawling over him, their faces almost touching.

GAMZEE: i can deliver that shit unto you motherfucker.
GAMZEE: I CAN MAKE YOU FEEL THAT SWEET FUCKING BLISS.

Gamzee, after lifting Equius’s shirt with the towel, raises one of the candles from beside them and drips the wax onto his chest. Equius’s mouth opens, lip trembling, brows raised as that hot liquid touches him. He’s quiet now. Perhaps knowing the noise that would escape him would betray what little front he still had left. Eventually he can’t handle an open mouth as tiny moans escape on the exhale, and he closes it, reduced to whimpering. Gamzee softens again. It reminds him of the better moments, back when he was innocent and they were talking regularly. Gamzee liked toying with Equius even before he understood what they were really doing. It was nice to be fawned after for once, instead of mocked. At least Equius knew how to push past his fear and disgust and show some appreciation. It’s why he was so important in all of this. What was a messiah without his devoted apostle?

GAMZEE: see?
GAMZEE: NOBODY GETS THAT SHIT BUT YOU AND ME. NOBODY FUCKING-

Gamzee’s suddenly overcome with so much grief and anger that he almost cries. Everyone else had abandoned him. Everyone else thought he was a joke. Just like they thought Equius was a joke. If only he could prove just how wrong they were. It’s so unfair. Why was the only person to show any fucking respect the one he had no choice but to destroy? Equius was the perfect supplicant. He should be able to stay here forever, but he can’t. He’d have to make it count, then. He pulls himself back from the edge of tears, leaning in, inches away from Equius’s face, then presses their foreheads together.

GAMZEE: you don’t have to fight that shit anymore.

Equius stops fighting. His whole body relaxes, as if he was never really in pain to begin with. Maybe he can’t be. Maybe there’s nothing Gamzee can do to him that will ever make him scream for anything but more. Gamzee touches his chest with the towel, wiping the wax off of him, pressing his wounds until they stop bleeding.

EQUIUS: D --> Please

Equius says, in a pitiful whisper. Gamzee just wants to kiss him. To bite his lip until it bleeds and then spit in his mouth. He wants more, actually, but he's running out the clock. They don’t have time for this nonsense. He had to kill Equius. Gamzee grabs Equius by the horns again and forces him to his knees, snatching the bow and snapping it in half, and oh god, damn him that stupid fucking whore opens his mouth. No. Gamzee can’t even look at him. Not long enough to tie the bow around his neck let alone pull.

GAMZEE: put your hands behind your back.

Equius does as he is told. Gamzee wraps the bowstring around his wrists, and Equius stays as still as a statue. Gamzee grabs the other boy’s chin with his hand and tilts his head up. Equius is still flushed and panting.

GAMZEE: YOU BREAK THAT AND I MOTHERFUCKING KILL YOU.
GAMZEE: got it?
EQUIUS: D --> Understood

Gamzee knows Equius won't escape. He never has, and he never will. So he rips himself away, and finally makes his way towards the rooftop.

Notes:

No sex in this chapter, but there will be sex in the story shortly. just not quite yet. Also, Gamzee’s goat dad was really slacking in idiom department, because clearly he’s never told this poor guy not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Chapter 25: Investig8ion

Notes:

Hey sorry this chapter took so long, I was facing some writers block. Also updates will be less frequent because I'm starting grad school but I promise the story isn't dead. I've still got 14ish chapters to go until I'm through with my drafts, and I'm still adding to that. I am also planning to start lengthening these chapters going forward. This is chapter is a part 1/3 type deal. You'll understand why later.

The seven of them, in various states of disarray, head to the top of the meteor. Vriska leads, storming up the stairs, clutching her dice so hard her fingernails injure the flesh of her palm, blood dripping off her knuckles. Terezi can smell it from behind her. Nepeta is beside her, mumbling to herself anxiously. Everyone else trails behind them. Karkat limping, and Kanaya helping him up.

 

KARKAT: HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE THIS METEOR.
KANAYA: It Has Come Up
KARKAT: IT’S DESIGNED TO BE TERRIFYING. WHY THE FUCK DON’T THESE STAIRS HAVE RAILINGS? IT’S LIKE WHOEVER MADE THIS PLACE WAS BAITING US TO DOOM THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IN THE FUNNIEST WAY POSSIBLE.
KARKAT: FUCK IT WOULD BE JUST MY LUCK, TO HAVE US ALL DIE BECAUSE I TRIP.
ARADIA: if you fall ill just catch you
KARKAT: THAT’S NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS FUCK THIS PLACE. FUCK HOW DINGY AND CONFUSING IT IS. FUCK HAVING TO TURN A CORNER AND BE FORCED TO COME FACE TO FACE WITH SOME ASSFUCKING GOATSHIT ECTOBIOLOGICAL NIGHTMARE, FUCK BEING STUCK WITH YOU MORONS, FUCK VRISKA THINKING SHE CAN JUST TAKE OVER-

Vriska guffaws.

VRISKA: Alright 8uddy, I’ve been toler8ing your little leader shtick for quite some time now, so I’d think you’d 8e a little more gr8ful. If you think you’re so tough why don’t you go confront Gamzee head on!?
KARKAT: I FUCKING DID.
VRISKA: And how did that work out for you?
KARKAT: ...
VRISKA: 8actly. I’m fine with you playing wriggler overseer when we’re all puttering around like morons, 8ut i’m the 8rawns in this oper8ion and you know it.

She turns around. Everyone else stops walking. Terezi shakes her head. She knew Vriska would seize this opportunity. Vriska could appreciate how savvy it was, even if it makes her uneasy.

Then again, this whole thing makes her uneasy. It was difficult to put her finger on what, exactly, but something about the way this timeline was panning out was not quite right. John’s meddling was a huge clue. He isn’t a time player, even if he was being aided by one. She also did believe John was telling the truth when she said another version of her had something to do with it, but why. These changes did not feel as tight and calculated as the ones she’d be advising a time player to make.

For example, what was postponing the game going to help? The entirety of Paradox Space was temporally fluid, bending itself to force each player’s hand. It didn’t matter if they were 6, 8, or 10, they were still going to act like the same dumbasses they always did because that’s what they were designed to do. But the magnitude of that decision sticks with her. The insane level of risk and commitment that it entailed. It couldn’t have been for no reason, she just needs to figure out what it was.

The one trend she’d noticed was that, instead of telling people to make specific changes to the environment, the advice John got seemed to be centered around encouraging her friends to be more logical than they actually were. But the thing is, why the hell was she assuming it would work? Everyone in their session was a goddamn idiot. She would never be stupid enough to assume she could really fix their issues, so why would she ask John to?

Also, if Eridan deserved an intervention, why didn’t Gamzee? Surely something made him snap, if all of this was true, and there were several eyewitnesses...Funny, if she hadn’t had them, all signs would have been pointing to-

VRISKA: And Terezi, you can do your investig8ion but we all know Gamzee killed Tavros. And Sollux, and Eridan, and Kanaya, and Feferi, and -

Nepeta, by the sound of it, is on the verge of tears. Terezi puts a hand on her shoulder, and sighs, cutting Vriska off.

TEREZI: H3R TYR4NNY H4S NOT R34CH3D 4 V3RD1CT ON T4VROS 4ND W3 DON’T H4V3 4NY N3WS ON 3QU1US

And it sure was weird they didn’t have a body.

TEREZI: 1 W1LL NOT H4V3 B14S T41NT1NG MY COURTROOM >:[
TEREZI: 1 N33D YOU P3OPL3 TO WORK W1TH M3 H3R3
VRISKA: Work with you???????? You’re the one who won’t work with me!!!!!!!!
TEREZI: TH4TS B3C4US3 YOU’R3 D1FF1CULT TO WORK W1TH
VRISKA: Well may8e you’d 8e able to m8ke it work if you people could all have a little f8th in me.

This is met with silence. Finally, they reach their platform, each putting their foot on it to transport them to the top of the meteor. Gamzee, as expected, is waiting for them. He’s probably smirking, covered in a splattered mess of blood. Nepeta draws out her claws, Vriska raises the fist carrying her dice, Kanaya readies her chainsaw. Even Karkat gets his sickle out. Terezi steps out in front of them.

TEREZI: HOW M4NY T1M3S DO 1 H4V3 TO T3LL YOU P3OPL3 NOT TO T41NT 3V1D3NC3!?

They can’t do this yet. She needs to gather her evidence, she needs to know what happened and why. This is all too easy. It’s all too simple.

TEREZI: TH3R3 W1LL B3 ORD3R 1N MY COURT! ORD3R 1 T3LL YOU!
TEREZI: NOW.

Terezi sighs, Then she takes an entire table, complete with a desk light and chair out of her Sylladex, and sets it on the floor.

TEREZI: 1 N33D TO QU3ST1ON TH3 SUSP3CTS.
TEREZI: F1RST UP
TEREZI: VR1SK4
VRISKA: F8NE!

Vriska sits down, petulant. Terezi stands in front of her, leaning down on the desk.

TEREZI: D3SCR1B3 TO M3 YOUR R3L4T1ONSH1P W1TH T4VROS N1TR4M.

Notes:

unchanging the rating from explicit back to mature bc i think my story might have got buried and according to some dms i got people couldn't find the updates. I think that should be okay to do this, because it's right on the border between e/m but I'm going to change it back in a few chapters. Just an fyi make sure you either bookmark this story or save the link somewhere if you want to be able to find it later because i'm constantly updating and changing tags/ ratings. just giving everyone a chance to see it first because i don't think i gave enough of a heads up.

Chapter 26: The Fairy Queen (nsfw)

Notes:

Oh, also thank you almanich for your help and inspo, you’re so fun to rp with. thank you Rose for helping me beta this story.

Fair warning, this chapter contains Vristav. Also fyi this is the longest break I'm doing for a while. I was just getting adjusted to grad school. Also this chapter was hard to write.

Weeks in the past, but not many...

Tavros is still holding the lance over her chest when she ascends. The force is so great it knocks him back against the wall and he almost gets lost in the rubble of the building. She sees him even through the blinding light of the magic surrounding him. She's nearly shining herself, blue wings against the orange of the skyline and the orange of her clothes. She doesn't waste time, all but crashing into him. She pulls him from the wreckage, her fluttering wings jostling his hair as she stares him down.

VRISKA: What the fuck was that?
VRISKA: What the f8ck was that!?!?!?!?
TAVROS: uH,
VRISKA: UH!?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN UH!?!?!?!?

He has the audacity to look at her confused. She has to breathe in order to keep it together.

VRISKA: Listen, I get having a flair for the dramatic 8ut would it have KILLED you to have may8e speed it up?! Just a tad!?!?!?!?!?!?!? You w8sted so much tiiiiiiiime! Precious time!!!!!!!!
TAVROS: i GUESS i JUST NEEDED A SECOND TO, pSYCHE MYSELF UP, tO ACTUALLY DO IT, yOU KNOW, iT'S, kIND OF A wEIRD TASK, aND I’VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE IT BEFORE,
TAVROS: i MEAN, i THINK MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST BE HAPPY THAT IT JUST ENDED UP UNFOLDING THAT WAY ANYWAY, sINCE, tHE RESULT THAT WE WANTED, iS WHAT ENDED UP HAPPENING,
VRISKA: God, you need to talk less, 8ecause NEWSFLASH, no it did not!
VRISKA: This is the pro8lem with you! Sometimes I feel like you're playing dum8 with me! I drop all these hints and riddles and clues and it all just goes WOOSH! Over your head!

She waves her free hand over his head with her free hand.

VRISKA: I work so hard to think up this stuff!!!
VRISKA: I've got all this sym8olism and metaphor and it's W8STED! W8sted on you, Tavros!
TAVROS: ,,,i MEAN, i THINK SOMETIMES,,,yOU,,,
VRISKA: I, what?

Vriska narrows her eyes.

TAVROS: wELL, yOU KIND OF MAKE EVERYTHING REALLY COMPLICATED, aND CONVOLUTED, aND THEN GET MAD AT ME WHEN i DON’T GET IT,
TAVROS: wHEN IT SEEMS LIKE, tHINGS COULD MAYBE BE, eASIER, iF NOT EVERYTHING HAD TO BE A QUEST, aND YOU JUST TOLD ME WHAT YOU WANTED,

She frowns. At least he’s standing up for himself. Sort of. In the most passive, pushover way possible.

TAVROS: bUT I COULD STAB YOUR CORPSE IF THAT WOULD HELP MAKE YOU LIKE, eXTRA POWERFUL.

Vriska smacks her forehead, groaning. It’s like he had spent his entire life working to elicit her anger; he just brings her to the edge without even trying. Now he’s trying to diffuse the situation, but it doesn’t work. She loses it.

VRISKA: NO!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: You're too l8!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: L8ey, l8ey, l8. Too l8 to kiss me, and too l8 to kill me!
VRISKA: If you had aw8kened my dreamself it w8uld have RUINED EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: It was the ONE TIME where k8ssing me would have 8een the WORST IDEA EVER!
TAVROS: bUT i, uH,,
TAVROS: dIDN'T, dO THAT, rIGHT,,?
TAVROS: sO, i THINK, iN THE END, bY NOT DOING THAT, i ENDED UP DOING THE RIGHT THING, }:)
VRISKA: 8EC8USE I TOLD YOU TO! D8PSHIT!
VRISKA: Why do I have to l8y everything out for you!?
VRISKA: I feel like I’m walking you up to the finish line and you just won’t cross it!!!

 

It’s the sunk cost fallacy. She thinks. It doesn't matter what she does, how hard she works to lay this all out for him. It would have been one thing if he had refused to, if he had turned against her and let her suffer intentionally, but to chicken out? That was unforgivable.

And yet...doubt still lingers. He was holding the sword. Yes, he’d hesitated, but it’s not like she never did that. Maybe if she should have held on for longer, gritted her through the pain for just a few more moments, things could have been different. Now she’ll never know. She could read his mind if she wanted to, but she could never predict what he would have done.

She deflates, dropping him. He lets out a little “oof” as he hits the ground, but he seems fine enough. She crosses her arms and paces the ground. Goddamnit. He’s not willing to progress as a player. She should either give up, or change strategies. Of course giving up isn’t in her vocabulary, so it was time for her to get started on the latter.

Tavros was a kid who refused to grow up. It was a brainless mindset for a child on alternia, but suicidal one for an adult. He was lucky he’d been saved by the bell with SGRUB, otherwise he’d be toast. What he doesn’t seem to understand is that being a pathetic little wriggler fucking sucks. Wriggles are stupid, they’re naive, AND they still have to deal with the same shit that adults deal with. Being an adult, in comparison, is awesome. Being an adult comes with power, it comes with skill. So if he’ll drag his feet kicking and screaming every time she tries to get him to fight or strategize, then she’ll have to provide some sort of incentive for him to do it himself.

Hm.

She’s already laid the groundwork for it, and if he accepts the reward, then that’s it, that’s her proof! She flies back, landing with one leg on either side of him.

VRISKA: Do you even understand any of this stuff?! The imagery! The lance! The stuff I was talking a8out with gamers and alchemy!? The frogs?! The genesis of this very universe!?

Tavros looks at her like she’s some sort of conspiracy theorist. Maybe she is. Or maybe, he’s a moron.

TAVROS: i DON'T, rEALLY THINK THAT i'M THAT MUCH OF GAMER,
TAVROS: i THINK, uNLESS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT FIDUSSPAWN, wHICH i DON'T THINK YOU ARE,
TAVROS: bUT,, i DO THINK MY LANCE IS PRETTY COOL,

...
She’s going to lose her goddamn mind.

VRISKA: Okay, I mean right! Good, I'm soooooooooo glad you like your lance, 8ut when I was talking a8out games I wasn't talking a8out dum8 games like Fiduspawn or whatever weird crap Sollux plays, I was talking a8out this game.
VRISKA: You know........SGRU8?
VRISKA: And we're doing alchemy........??????????
VRISKA: So cutting the chase for us would mean.......
VRISKA: ?!?!?!?!
TAVROS: i GUESS IF YOU WANT TO,
TAVROS: dO SOME ADVENTURING, yOU KNOW, sINCE THERE'S STILL A LOT TO DO, tO, cOMPLETE THE WHOLE GAME AND ALL OF THAT, sINCE, iT'S PROBABLY GOING TO LAST A PRETTY LONG TIME,,
TAVROS: aND YOU SEEM TO, hAVE IT FIGURED OUT, mOSTLY, i THINK,

He doesn’t get it, but it’s progress. At least he was doing something that wasn’t fucking around.

VRISKA: Actually Tavros, that's a gr8 idea.
VRISKA: Thank god, just as I was starting to lose f8th in you! Come on.

For once, she actually helps Tavros into his little rocket, and they’re off, speeding through the second gate with Vriska flying beside him.

They settle in his house, with Tavros back in his wheelchair, taking a moment to help Gamzee figure out how to move one of his couches. Vriska sits on the ramp leading to his recuperacoon, kicking her feet under her. She doesn’t have time for this.

VRISKA: Okay, Tavros.
VRISKA: Let’s talk strategy.

Tavros pulls out the map she gave him.

TAVROS: hEY VRISKA,,,
TAVROS: cAN i BE KIND OF MEAN FOR A SECOND,,,

Vriska raises an eyebrow.

VRISKA: Shoot.
TAVROS: sO THIS MAP,,,
TAVROS: iT’S UH,,,
TAVROS: REALLY BAD.

She snorts.

VRISKA: Well, duh, your land is dum8 and simplistic.
VRISKA: I don’t know what else to say.
VRISKA: Stupid lands get stupid maps.
TAVROS: nO I MEAN,,, THE ANNOTATIONS ARE REALLY BAD ADVICE,,,
TAVROS: bEFORE WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE TRYING TO CUT ME TO THE CHASE, i WAS KIND OF UNDER THE ASSUMPTION THAT THE CHASE WOULD BE LIKE,,,
TAVROS: sOMETHING RELEVANT TO MY QUEST,,,
TAVROS: aND i AM KIND OF STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT, hOW HOW BEING ON YOUR PLANET, aND ALSO IGNORING MY QUEST, hELPS ME WITH MY QUEST,
VRISKA: Well you weren’t making any progress, so I decided to have you change course, and this might not help you with your planet's quest, 8ut it does help you 8ecome a 8etter player.

She says flipping over onto her stomach and wiggling into a flattering position.

TAVROS: hOW,,,

Vriska sighs, and stares at the posters on his wall. She hates them, hates what they represent. Yet another aspect of Pupa Pan she hated. Pupa is a moron. He does absolutley fuck all every hour of every day, and receive these pretty little fuckers cater to and are literally willing to die for him anyways. For what? Because he’s nice? Because he exists? Pathetic.

How can someone possibly go through life idolizing a story like that? Doesn’t he know how badly it reflects on him? God she needs to break him out of this, and fast.

VRISKA: I mean it would 8e ideal if you could figure that out for yourself.
VRISKA: Do you think you can?
TAVROS: ,,,
TAVROS: uH,
TAVROS: sORRY, i’M,,, rEALLY DISTRACTED,,,

Tavros is staring at her wings, enraptured. She flutters them for him. She really looks just like them, doesn’t she? Did it really take him that long to notice?
VRISKA: They are pretty cool, aren’t they? I’m a real fairy now, not like one of your dum8 f8ke ones. :::;)
TAVROS: tHEY’RE SO COOL,,,lIKE THE COOLEST THING i’VE EVER SEEN,
VRISKA: Woooooooow, really?

Vriska feigns shock. Pretty well, she thinks.

TAVROS: yEAH,
TAVROS: cAN, CAN i TOUCH THEM,,,
TAVROS: i KNOW FAIRY WINGS ARE ALWAYS REALLY FRAGILE, bUT I PROMISE I’LL BE GENTLE,,,

Vriska smirks, slowly opening and closing them. His hands trace them over, gently. There’s a reverence he has in his touch she’s never seen before. She’d always dismissed his gaze towards her as unfocused at best, fearful at worst. Now he’s locked in, enthralled.

Is that what she had to do this entire time? Just sit there for him? She’s almost offended. All the work she had put in to make him chase her.... Turns out all she had to do is lie here and let those tiny scales, blue, translucent, and glistening in the overhead light, rub off onto his fingers.

TAVROS: oH NO,,,
TAVROS: vRISKA I’M SO SORRY,,,i THINK i DID SOMETHING WRONG,
VRISKA: Why? Are they damaged?

She asks, unconcerned.

TAVROS: i DON’T,,,tHINK SO,,,
VRISKA: 8ecause they’re god tier wings.
VRISKA: They’re meant for 8attle.
VRISKA: I’m surprised they’re even tangi8le, they’re 8asically an illusion.

Noticing the scales on his hand have now disappeared, he reaches out them again, breathing very softly. Vriska arches her back, ever so slightly. He takes his hand away, just for a moment, and holds it above her, hesitating. Vriska holds her breath. God, finally a test he’s willing to take. They both wait with baited breath for his decision, and for once, he makes it. He presses down, forcing the wings apart with his fingers. She gasps.

VRISKA: There we go.........

She whispers.

His hand stays pressing on her, almost shaking. She waits there, in that agonizing silence, for what feels like hours. Fully lost in fantasy. Her elation falters, frustration quickly returning. He can’t do it, can he? God what is he doing!? She’s laid it out for him so well. There’s a part of her that feels like she wants to cry. She’s made it so easy so easy for him.

Then his hand moves. Gingerly, barely even touching her, his fingers play with the slit in that fabric on her back that exposes her wings. Then, he’s lifting the hem of her top, letting his warm hand touch the small of her back. Then he pulls it back, stuttering awkwardly.

TAVROS: vRISKA, um,,,
VRISKA: My god, what now?

She isn’t in a place to make demands, but she can’t help yourself.

TAVROS: yOU CAN WASH IT, RIGHT,,,
VRISKA: The godtier? I mean, o8viously. You shouldn’t have to though. It’s magic.
TAVROS: nO, I THINK YOU DO HAVE TO,,,

She raises an eyebrow.

VRISKA: Why does it smell like 8ad?
TAVROS: nO ITS UM,
TAVROS: sTAINED,,,

The blood rushes into Vriska’s face so fast she almost faints. She can’t even deny it. She knows it’s true. She can feel the wet fabric pushing into her nook. She’s shaking. She’s having an out of body experience.

VRISKA: Ha! Well easy fix for that!

She magics away her god tier, and slides into his recooperacoon. She doesn’t allow for an awkward silence, she fakes it until she makes it. It’s too late to turn back now.

VRISKA: Wanna come join me?
TAVROS: i dONT THINK THE TOP IS BIG ENOUGH,

Fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck.

VRISKA: Well, good thing you’re talking to a real gamer.

She takes her laptop out of her sylladex, wipes the sopor slime off her fingers and starts fiddling with the game. It’s actually pretty easy for her to make his recuperacoon big enough for the two of them, a thing which he seems pretty stoked about.

TAVROS: wOAH,,,
TAVROS: nOW i CAN FIT MY HORNS IN,,,

Tavros excitedly wheels up the ramp, almost crushing her laptop before she can put it away. He slips in. Ending up flush against her body. Vriska’s heart is pounding in her chest.

VRISKA: You’re really just going to get in here fully clothed?

Then, he too, is struck with self awareness. She smirks at him.

TAVROS: iT JUST,,,tAKES SO LONG TO TAKE MY SHIRT OFF,
VRISKA: Well, you have other shirts, don’t you?
TAVROS: yEAH,
VRISKA: Okay, then, stay still.

Vriska takes a knife from her sylladex. Tavros tenses up.

VRISKA: Relax man........

She grins.

VRISKA: I wouldn’t hurt a fly.
TAVROS: tHATS NOT,,,uM,,,pARTICULARLY COMPELLING,,,

Vriska laughs, straddling him as she cuts the fabric away, lifting his hips up as she removes his pants and underwear. Tavros looks up at her. She moves closer to his face; he closes his eyes. Suddenly, he’s inside of her.

VRISKA: FUCK!

Vriska jumps back against the opposite wall of the recuperacoon. The edge of it folds her wing, damaging it. Tavros makes a pathetic little noise as he slips out, then covers his mouth in shock.

TAVROS: sORRY,,,

He looks away from her, also pressed up against the wall. It’s small enough that they are still touching each other. No way to avoid that.

VRISKA: What the hell!?
VRISKA: May8e warn me next time!!!!!!!!

She fails to hide the fear in her voice, even though she doesn’t understand its presence.

TAVROS: i CAN’T REALLY CONTROL IT AT ALL,
TAVROS: aND i’VE NEVER,,,
TAVROS: i DON’T, KNOW,,,

He panics, she softens. She can’t complain, really. She’s lucky she hadn’t rendered him impotent.

VRISKA: Oh, come here.

She presses him up against the wall. His bulge has retracted again. She shakes her head, he needs to make up his mind.

VRISKA: I’ll get out. If you want me to.
TAVROS: nO, i WANT YOU TO STAY,
TAVROS: i JUST THOUGHT I’D -

Vriska laughs out loud, cutting him off.

VRISKA: Why do you care? I’ve done worse to you. It’s not like it hasn’t-
VRISKA: Nevermind. Listen,
VRISKA: I’m not weighing your heart against a feather, here.

Tavros shakes his head, handing her the kind of heavy silence she hates more than anything else. The kind that allows her to stew in her own regrets and bad memories. She’d screwed up her chance, hadn’t she? Goddamnit, after all of that, she’d fucked it up? Fuck, she was such an idiot. Her only hope of redemption now was to pull it back. She can, she has confidence in herself. If any woman could navigate dealing herself a shit hand, it’s her.

TAVROS: i JUST,,,dON’T THINK THIS IS A VERY GOOD IDEA,
VRISKA: Which is why your dick going rogue is good, actually!
TAVROS:,,,
TAVROS: ,,,wHAT,,,
VRISKA: You heard me. You're right, Tavros, we're cursed. We should never allow this to happen. 8ut if it just........
VRISKA: Does.
VRISKA: Then who’s to 8l8me!?
TAVROS: ,,,i GUESS,,,nEITHER OF US,,
VRISKA: Riiiiiiiight.
VRISKA: So there it is! Put it out of your mind, sweet Pupa. It’s f8.

Vriska doesn’t even recognize the words coming out of her own mouth. Is this really the depths she’s had to sink to? God, the things she’ll do for the plot.

TAVROS: ,,,
TAVROS: wOW VRISKA, i NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY,,,
VRISKA: Of course you haven’t. And it’s like, who am I to fight your passivity? It’s your n8ure!
TAVROS: ,,,
TAVROS: yEAH,,,
TAVROS: yOU’RE RIGHT,,,
TAVROS: iT IS MY NATURE,,,
TAVROS: i SHOULD JUST SIT HERE, aND IF IT HAPPENS THAT’S GREAT AND IF IT DOESN’T THAT’S FINE TOO,
TAVROS: bUT EITHER WAY, i HAVE NO AGENCY,

Vriska’s eye twitches.

VRISKA: ........
VRISKA: Fuck it.

She bears down, and they’re having sex. Tavros moans in a way a top really shouldn’t, and she covers his mouth instinctively with a kiss. Finally, they’re kissing . Finally. And, he’s kissing her, sucking her lip and holding her waist. She brings her own legs up, they’re both boyant enough in the slime that she can just float with her legs up.

VRISKA: Good 8oy, you’re such a good 8oy.

She whispers into his ear. She’s impressed with him. She feared that he’d just lie back and think of the empire, but he’s really holding his own. He’s got one hand on her hip now, the other in between them, his fingers tangled in with her bulge. She sighs.

VRISKA: You like getting to pl8y with one of your little fairy girls don’t you?
VRISKA: Instead of just having her pl8y with you.

She flutters her wings - now healed, albeit covered in sopor- again. His bulge thrashes and he starts kissing her neck, trailing down to her chest. He looks up at her.

VRISKA: Oh god don’t eat that.

She wipes the sopor from his lips.

TAVROS: oH, uH,,,
TAVROS: iT’S ONLY A LITTLE BIT,
TAVROS: i AM PRETTY SURE IT’S OKAY,,
TAVROS: eVERYBODY EATS A LITTLE i THINK JUST LIKE, aCCIDENTALLY,,,
VRISKA: Yeah, 8ut your tolerance is shot 8ecause you couldn’t fit in the damn thing until today.
TAVROS: wELL EITHER WAY i THINK i MIGHT HAVE HAD LESS THAN YOU BECAUSE i AM, uM.

He puts his fingers inside of her, along with his bulge. His thumb is pressed up against her bulge, stroking it’s base.

TAVROS: i THINK i’M GETTING SOME INSIDE OF YOU.
VRISKA: Oh, fuck.

The buildup as she comes is so fast it almost doesn’t register as one; she just starts spasming. She throws her head back as she moans, face flushed.

TAVROS: oH MY GOD, dID YOU JUST-
VRISKA: Keep going.

She says, and he does. Seemingly unburdened from trying to keep up his stamina, he grabs her hips and fucks her, hard. She’s pretty much screaming. It’s a little exaggerated. She’s capable of having a quiet orgasm, but she wants to encourage him.

VRISKA: YES!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: Oh god, finally. FINALLY, yes.
TAVROS: vRISKA,,,

He whines, leaning into her neck.

VRISKA: I can’t 8elieve you’re just letting me ruin you like this.

They both giggle. Oh god, they are high, aren’t they? They start kissing again. For how long? Who knows, both of them lose track.

VRISKA: I am going to mind control you to come inside of me.

She teases, expecting pushback, but she doesn’t get it, instead Tavros’s breathing gets heavier.

VRISKA: Oh w8, you really want that?

Tavros’s face flushes.

TAVROS: i UM,

She looks at him in utter disbelief.

VRISKA: No. Tell me. Tell me you want it.

He pulls out, panting.

VRISKA: Tell me.

He gives her a pleading look, then casts his eyes down.

TAVROS: i,,,
VRISKA: Oh, come on.

Tavros gasps for air, then whimpers.

TAVROS: pLEASE,
VRISKA: Please what?

He splutters.

TAVROS: pLEASE, dO THAT,
VRISKA: Hm.
VRISKA: I’ll t8k it.

It’s harder to mind control him when she’s high, but he’s easier to mind control too, so it works out. She brings his hands up to her hips and forces him as deep as possible. Then she makes him finish with a groan, his bulge quivers as it fills her. Most of the come immediately spills out, but enough of it gets so deep it will probably stay inside of her for quite a while, a reminder of her poor decisions for days to come.

He doesn't have time to fully pass the afterglow when they both hear a noise from her computer.

VRISKA: ........
VRISKA: Tavros.
VRISKA: I swear to god.
VRISKA: Do NOT tell me you left your mic on.
VRISKA: Woooooooow, as if you weren’t already the worst server player in history.

She flirtatiously slaps his arm.

TAVROS: uH,,,
TAVROS: i SHOULD PROBABLY GO FIX THAT,
VRISKA: No. It’s too l8 now. We’ll deal with it later.

Tavros nods. It’s fine. It’s just Gamzee.

Notes:

So I feel like a comment I anticipate getting is "you didn't make them toxic enough"/"you didn't make Vriska enough of an asshole". To that, I'd say that just because a relationship has good moments doesn't mean it's a good relationship. Not that they're really in one, but I digress. Tavros has always been incredibly gracious towards Vriska. It doesn't mean what she does to him is okay. Neither does her thinking she's hot. Also, Vriska's less harsh on him, but notice that she's really at her most amicable when she's getting what she wants, which is telling. Still, it's nice to show a soft(er) side to her. Anyways, all these complicated dynamics are why it took me so long to write this chapter. I hope you like it!

Chapter 27: TEREZI : 4DJUD1C8 ==> (DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT - READ THE CHAPTER NOTES)

Notes:

I would recommend that, before reading this chapter, you all read the story all the way through if you haven't in a while. Previous chapters contain a lot of foreshadowing for what's about to happen. This chapter will also seriously recontextualize some of the previous events.

Also, fair warning, I did have some levity and hope in this chapter, but the end is incredibly dark. I hope it comes across as respectful. I did my best. If you're a reader of my story and want to take this opportunity to dip out before things get too horrible, I won't blame you for either skipping this chapter or abandoning this story entirely. If it's the former, I'll let you know in the beginning notes when the coast is clear once again.

Thanks again rose (jigsawbaptism) for helping me with Vriska! For those not in the know, jigsawbaptism helped me with my other fanfic, vrisky buisne(xt). She is a savant with Vriska; my work on this character would not be possible without her!

content warning: mentions and discussions (but not depictions) of rape, depictions of abuse, gaslighting, gore, and violence.

Terezi sniffs around. She loves Vriska’s god tier. It’s a scent she’s come across before, but not in such high quantities. It’s so citrusy. Orange, definitely, but more genuine than the treacle syrup of the Faygo she was used to. It was fresh, that same floral note she got when she first smelled Prospit. She’ll have to try and lick it at some point but now’s not the time.

VRISKA: How dare you?
TEREZI: WH4T
VRISKA: Not you, HIM.

She gestures towards Gamzee.

VRISKA: How DARE YOU look at me like that you FUCKING MONSTER.
VRISKA: You’re lucky I don’t cut you down where you stand.

He’s grinning, but there’s an edge to it. It's a certain tightness in his jaw that makes Terezi uneasy. She shakes her head. So they’re both hiding something.

TEREZI: 1S TH4T 4LL
VRISKA: There is l8erally no reason you would 8ring this up other than to humilli8 me. What the fuck am I supposed to tell you that you don’t already know.
TEREZI: 1 SM3LL BULLSH1T
TEREZI: 1LL 4SK YOU TH1S ON3 MOR3 T1M3...
TEREZI: 4RE YOU GU1LTY OF TH3 MURD3R OF T4VROS N1TR4M

Vriska throws her head back, dramatically.

VRISKA: Uuuuuuuugh.
VRISKA: You can’t 8e fucking serious! Like, who even fucking cares at this point? We know he’s dead, isn’t that all that matters?

Objectively, a horrible response. Terezi does her best to roll her eyes, not having pupils and all.

TEREZI: 1T R34LLY 1S 4 Y3S OR 4 NO QU3ST1ON.
VRISKA: ........
VRISKA: Stop that.

Terezi notices it, out of the corner of her eye. Gamzee, moving closer to them, to her. She squirms. God, it’s a miasma of color, blended and putrid.

VRISKA: Is there an actual point in this line of questioning? Seems pretty redundant to me, Neophyte!
VRISKA: Sounds like you already have your mind m8de up!

Terezi shakes her head.

TEREZI: YOU 4R3NT 3V3N GO1NG TO PL34D YOUR C4S3?
TEREZI: YOU’V3 LOST YOUR 3DG3
TEREZI: ...
TEREZI: M4RQU1S3

Vriska glares, then softens, her eyes cast down. She rubs her thumb each side of her D8, in order, she knows the number placements by heart. Once, twice, three times...and so on, until eight, when she exhales.

VRISKA: ........
VRISKA: I didn't kill him.
VRISKA: I would have, 8ut I didn't.
VRISKA: What can I say? The opportunity didn't present itself. It happens. You'd know that 8etter than any8ody, wouldn't you?

This does not deserve a response, so they sit in silence until Vriska can’t handle it anymore, and she speaks again.

VRISKA: So getting hung up on what I would or wouldn't have done is not only a colossal w8ste of 8reath, you're actively putting EVERY8ODY ELSE in mortal peril. Nice going!
TEREZI: 1 KNOW YOU WOULD H4V3 K1LL3D H1M 1F H3 H4D TR13D TO F1GHT YOU
TEREZI: 1T'S TH4T NOW 1 KNOW H3 W4S GO1NG TO D13 31TH3R W4Y
TEREZI: TH4T’S WH4T 1 DON’T UND3RST4ND.
VRISKA: Well then why the fuck do you care? Just 8ring me to the gallows already. That’s where this always ends.

Terezi fingers her gavel, listening to Vriska’s bated breath. She moves to grab it, then stops.

TEREZI: ...
TEREZI: 1 KNOW YOUR3 LY1NG TO M3 S3RK3T
TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW 4BOUT WH4T
TEREZI: BUT TH3R3S SOM3 CRUC14L P31C3 OF 3V1D3NC3 1M M1SS1NG 4ND 1 TH1NK YOU KNOW *3X4CTLY* WH4T 1T 1S

Vriska averts her eyes. This is weird behavior, especially for her.

TEREZI: JOHN CROSS3D T1M3L1N3S
TEREZI: H3 C4M3 FROM 4 *F1N1SH3D S3SSS1ON* TO STOP T4VROS FROM F1GHT1NG YOU

Vriska’s eyes fly back to Terezi, shifting back and forth as her jaw opens in shock.

TEREZI: NOT TO M3NT1ON H3 POSTPON3D OUR S3SS1ON FOR 2 4ND 4 H4LF SW33PS SO T4VROS WOULD B3 MOR3 L1K3LY TO H4V3 TH3 S3NS3 TO L1ST3N
TEREZI: 4ND BY TH3 LOOKS OF 1T
TEREZI: 1T WORK3D
TEREZI: SO WHY TH3 H3LL D1D 1 JUST F1ND YOU N3XT TO H1S CORPS3

Vriska stands up.

VRISKA: Oh my god, what!?!?!?!?
VRISKA: THAT’S WHAT JOHN WAS DOING HERE!?
VRISKA: Why the fuck didn’t he tell me!?
VRISKA: After EV8RYTHING I’VE DONE FOR HIM!?!?!?
TEREZI: DO YOU R34LLY TH1NK TH4T WOULD H4V3 CH4NG3D 4NYTH1NG?
VRISKA: Well typically I like to 8e involved in any plan that includes saving me, is th8t really soooooooo unreasona8ble!?

Terezi folds her arms.

TEREZI: YOU TH1NK YOU WOULD H4V3 G1V3N H1M D1FF3R3NT 4DV1C3

Vriska is silent for a long moment.

VRISKA: I would have considered my options. May8e stuck with you so I didn’t get caught up in this mess.
TEREZI: SO YOU’D 3XP3CT 1’D SUSP3CT YOU
VRISKA: O8viously. That’s a thing that isn’t even really worth noting. 8ut if I was going to do it, I’d just do it. I wouldn’t do this 'throw-a-rock-and-hide-my-hands' routine, and you should know that 8ecause I never have. And if I did, it’d be a whole lot less sloppy than this.

Exactly. So why the hell would she have any reason to hide anything if she was telling the truth?

TEREZI: SO YOU’V3 B33N FR4M3D
VRISKA: Duh.
TEREZI: BY WHO

Vriska gestures to Gamzee.

TEREZI: WHY
VRISKA: I don’t know.
VRISKA: May8e 8ecause I’m the o8vious choice?
VRISKA: 8ecause I’m the only person he’s really scared of and he wants to take me out as a threat!? The options are l8erally endless.

She says, a little bit too quickly.

TEREZI: HM

Terezi pauses, then starts to pace.

TEREZI: 4LR1GHT TH3N
TEREZI: 1’LL 3NT3RT41N 1T
TEREZI: YOU’R3 1NNOC3NT
TEREZI: HOW D1D YOU F1ND TH3 BODY?
VRISKA: I was looking for him! Holy shit, this is so stupid.
TEREZI: SO W3R3 YOU LOOK1NG, NOT TO K1LL H1M, 4 TH1NG YOU S41D YOU’D DO, BUT FOR OTH3R, MOR3 N3BULOUS R34SONS. D1D YOU F1ND 4NYTH1NG B3FOR3 YOU FOUND H1S BODY?
VRISKA: Listen, he challenged me.
VRISKA: I know, I know, he didn't have a chance. I said the same thing!
VRISKA: So I promised I'd give him a free shot.
VRISKA: 8ut, he had to find me first.
TEREZI: AND H3 D1DNT SHOW UP.
VRISKA: Yeah, so I started looking, not to kill him this time, 8ecause I knew he’d chosen not to attack me. I knew something was wrong, and clearly I was right.
TEREZI SO H3 TOLD YOU H3 W4S C4LL1NG 1T OFF, TH3N?
VRISKA: Of course not, I just assumed that. Coward's way out, as usual.
VRISKA: John could've w8ed ten more sweeps and it wouldn't have made him a man!

Gamzee snorts. Terezi turns towards him, about to say something, when Feferi interjects.

FEFERI: )(e was probably busy!
FEFERI: Jo)(n said )(e )(ad a confession to make.

Terezi whirls around. Finally, a solid lead.

FEFERI: I figured )(e was talking about Gamsea, and said so, and )(e got really upset and disappeared!
TEREZI: WH4T SORT OF CONF3SS1ON

Gamzee puts an arm around Terezi’s shoulder, and she hears Vriska clutch her dice.

GAMZEE: i aint heard motherfuck about a confession.
GAMZEE: BUT I'VE NOT BEEN FEELING MYSELF OR SHIT ELSE RIGHT FOR THE PAST WHO KNOWS.

Terezi scoots away from him.

TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU M34N.
GAMZEE: i wish i could tell you invertasister but i just don't know what i don't motherfuckin know.
GAMZEE: SHIT WILL CATCH A MOTHERFUCKER OFF GUARD WHEN YOU SEE THINGS NO MOTHERFUCKER WAS MEANT TO SEE, HEAR SHIT NO MOTHERFUCKER WAS MEANT TO HEAR.
GAMZEE: one second i'm a motherfucker's showing me his wicked rhymes.
GAMZEE: NEXT THING YOU KNOW I'M SOAKED THROUGH AND NOT A BROTHER WILL MOTHERFUCKIN LOOK ME IN THE EYE.

Terezi softens, just a tad. So he was possessed. God, that would make sense...wouldn’t it? This is all so unlike him. She can feel the doubt start to creep in. If Gamzee wasn’t in control of his actions, they have an entirely different problem.

GAMZEE: i don't remember a thing, but that's chill.
GAMZEE: CAUSE AT LEAST MY CRIMES HAVE MOTHERFUCKING COMPANY.

Gamzee starts advancing on Vriska, who growls. It’s wild, almost...fearful.

GAMZEE: i mean who’s to say a sister didn’t make me do it?

Shit. Did she?

Terezi picks up the gavel.

VRISKA: Come on Terezi, this is a distraction. You have to know that.

She raises her arm. It’s too perfect. Vriska’s never done her own dirty work, has she? She’s always used subterfuge. The only difference now is that she’s gained the audacity to try and shift the blame onto Gamzee. Poor, sweet, innocent Gamzee...

...

Wait.

No.

She has to think. Think logically, a thing she’s perfectly capable of doing. She gave John a list, she gave herself a list. A list which made it very clear it couldn’t spell everything out for her, but it was full of clues.

And she wasn’t wearing this goddamn hat for no damn reason.

Unless she had severely miscalculated, her future self must have known that there wasn’t a way to prevent anyone from dying. So, someone would have had to commit the crimes. But, the list would probably shift depending on who was at fault. Vriska and Eridan had been guilty of something, otherwise there would have been no point in telling John to stop them. Something especially relevant considering that guilt is a matter of life or death in this game if a player is god tier. Which Vriska is.

Meanwhile, there was no such attempt to preserve Gamzee’s innocence. That could mean one of two things. Either he’s done nothing wrong, or nothing can be done to prevent his treason.

As for the former, Gamzee just implied he's possessed. That's information that would be crucial for her to know if she was going to stop the murders from happening. There were a million candidates for who would have done it. Vriska, Scratch, that stupid fucking puppet that keeps showing up everywhere. The options were endless. However, any of them would mean that there was a possibility of an intervention. Dealing with whatever or whoever possessed him would be priority number one, because Gamzee was a massive threat, more so than Eridan and probably more than Vriska, because at least Vriska can be reasoned with. It's possible that there was no stopping it, if someone as powerful as Doc Scratch were behind it, there were players, like Nepeta, who might be able to reverse the possession if they went god tier. It would at least be worth trying, but nothing like that was mentioned, and Vriska is the only god tier. It stands without mentioning that, if she was the culprit, John would have been instructed to either reason with her or take her out. He wasn’t.

Also, it couldn’t have been Vriska. She had no motive. Killing Tavros? Sure. Killing Kanaya, Eridan, Feferi, Sollux, and possibly Equius? No way. Especially Equius. He’s her biggest ally. He had saved her life, and he was her best bet at getting a solid character witness. As for aging them all up, Terezi must have done that because she knew it would change their motivations, somehow, but she already knew it hadn’t changed Vriska’s...So once again, all signs lead back to Makara.

She bangs her gavel on the table.

TEREZI: NOT GU1LTY

Everyone gasps.

TEREZI: N3XT!
VRISKA: W8, what!?
TEREZI: JUST GO B3FOR3 1 CH4NG3 MY M1ND
VRISKA: Fine, yeah. F8ck.

Vriska walks back to the crowd, and they part the way for her, still leery. When Gamzee takes her place, Terezi can practically smell the rage rising from him like a polluted smoke.

TEREZI: 4LR1GHT
TEREZI: 1M GO1NG TO B3 HON3ST
TEREZI: 1TS NOT LOOK1NG GOOD FOR YOU
TEREZI: NOT ONLY 4R3 YOU 4 SUSP3CT FOR 4 MURD3R, 4ND 4 P3RSON OF 1NT3R3ST 1N A M1SS1NG P3RSONS C4S3-
NEPETA: :(( < (*ac meows sadly*)
TEREZI: YOU’V3 4LSO D3F1N3TL3Y DON3 FOUR OTHER CR1M3S

She wants to know if this throws off his game at all, and it seems to because he bangs his fists on the table so hard Terezi almost jumps.

GAMZEE: HA.
GAMZEE: a sister brings up numbers like it’s a motherfuckin tell.
GAMZEE: THAT’S THE BIGGEST JOKE IN PARADOX SPACE.
GAMZEE: considering the bitch you just let go has me beat by a motherfuckin long shot.
TEREZI: UGH DO 1 H4V3 TO 3XPL41N CONT3XT TO YOU
GAMZEE: DON’T MOTHERFUCKIN BOTHER.
GAMZEE: i know special treatment when i see that shit.

He wants her to prove him wrong. She won’t.

TEREZI: WH3R3'S 3QU1US
GAMZEE: HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW?
TEREZI: G1V3 M3 4 BR34K
GAMZEE: (why, jealous?)

He sneers. A chill goes down her spine. Then, something horrible swells within her. She’s on the precipice of a vision. Memories that aren’t hers threaten to burst through an invisible dam in her mind.

TEREZI: WH4T?
GAMZEE: I DIDN’T SAY A MOTHERFUCKING THING.
TEREZI: YOU CL34RLY JUST 4SK3D M3 1F 1 W4S J34LOUS
GAMZEE: you didn’t hear shit.

She feels dizzy, almost outside of herself, her mind is clouding over again and he’s standing up, advancing on her.

TEREZI: Y3S 1 D1D
GAMZEE: (MAYBE A SISTER’S LOST HER MIND.)

He whisper-yells, too close to her. She can’t move away.

TEREZI: 1 KNOW 1 D1D
GAMZEE: you sure?

Terezi pauses, eyebrows starting to furrow in doubt. Fuck, fuck. He’s getting so close to her that they’re practically kissing. Then, Vriska interjects.

VRISKA: Gamzee, shut the fuck up! She’s right, and this is an em8arrassing hill to die on.

And just like that, the spell is broken. Her head is clear as day. He turns to Vriska.

GAMZEE: DID I MOTHERFUCKING ASK YOU?

Terezi snorts, recomposing herself. She paces around, truly getting into character this time, as she shakes off her panic. She points her cane at him, dramatically.

TEREZI: YOU C4N TRY TO FUCK W1TH M3 4LL YOU W4NT
TEREZI: BUT 3V1D3NC3 DO3SN’T L13
TEREZI: ST4ND UP
TEREZI: L3T’S S33 1F TH1S P4SS3S TH3 SN1FF T3ST

Gamzee does as he’s told, but she can feel him leering at her. She’s not going to let it get to her, though, not this time. She leans in to give the goofiest, most exaggerated sniff she can.

TEREZI: SO F4R W3V3 GOT R4ZZL3B3RRY BURST-
KARKAT: MY GOD, TEREZI, READ THE FUCKING ROOM!
TEREZI: NOBODY L3TS M3 H4V3 4NY FUN >:[
KARKAT: TEREZI IT’S THE BLOOD OF OUR FRIENDS.
TEREZI: 4ND?
TEREZI: 1 F33L L1K3 TH1S 1S P4Y1NG HOM4G3
KARKAT: IT’S PAYING HOMAGE IN THE SAME WAY THAT LEAVING A BOTTLE OF PISS ON A SHRINE IS PAYING HOMAGE.
TEREZI: MAYB3 TH4TS WH4T WH4EVER GOG 1M WORSH1P1NG 1S 1NTO
KARKAT: WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHOOSE A GOD WHO ISN’T FUCKED IN THE HEAD SO THE REST OF US AREN’T THIRD WHEELING FOR BOTH OF YOUR FUCKED UP FETISHES
TEREZI: F1N3
TEREZI: 1TS V1OL3T
TEREZI: BLUH
TEREZI: AND P1NK (4LTHOUGH 1T’S TOT4LLY BUBBL3GUM)
TEREZI: 4ND Y3LLOW 4ND J4D3 4ND-

She stops in her tracks. A soured wine reaches her nostrils. Acidic. Not like vinaigrette, like bile.

KARKAT: WHAT
TEREZI: 1TS... M4UV3

Mauve was too generous, really. There are plenty of nice things that could be mauve. She didn’t mind wine, even though it was a bit challenging. Some wildflowers were mauve. This wasn’t like any of that. This was some color even humans haven’t named. She’s seen it on their skin before, though. It was the color of a painful, deep, bruise. She looks up at Gamzee. Fuck.

TEREZI: 1’V3 JUST PL4C3D YOU 4T TH3 SC3N3 OF TH3 CR1M3
TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU H4V3 TO S4Y FOR YOURS3LF
GAMZEE: i never denied i motherfuckin saw him.
GAMZEE: YOU EVER THINK MAYBE THAT’S WHY I LOST MY SHIT.
GAMZEE: seeing my best friend all fucked up and gone forever.
GAMZEE: IT’S ENOUGH TO DRIVE A PERSON TO MOTHERFUCKING MURDER.

Terezi narrows her eyes.

TEREZI: 1 S41D M4UV3 NOT BROWN
TEREZI: 1N ORD3R TO G3T M4UV3 FROM BROWN, YOU’D HAV3 TO M1X 1T W1TH PURPL3

Then Terezi stops. She gives him another sniff.

TEREZI: BUT 3V3N TH4T DO3SN’T M4K3 S3NS3 B3C4US3 YOU 4R3N’T BL33D1-

Oh, God.

And then the dam breaks. The force of it knocks her down as she’s flooded with memories. Of the timeline, of their relationship. Every time he had struck her, beat her, raped her. How she had let him get away with murder, and in thanks for her mercy, he had fucking destroyed her.

And now he’s done it again. To Tavros.

...

But she’s not going to let him get away with it. Not again. Not ever again.

So finally, at long last, she spits out her verdict.

TEREZI: GU1LTY.

Nobody else knows what’s happening. They look sad...disappointed even, but no one gets it. Except Vriska. She lets out a shriek, a wail really, of rage, horror, and grief. Her dice clatter to the floor, all eights, and blue light envelops her. She charges him with Mindfang’s sword, still screaming, and pierces him in the chest. His blood splatters on her, and he stares her down, unmoving. She pulls the sword out and stabs him again, this time so hard it knocks him backwards and onto the ground. He doesn’t stop staring.

VRISKA: WHY WON’T YOU JUST F8CK8NG D8E????????!!!!!!!!
GAMZEE: it’s not in the cards for me, sister.

She throws aside the sword and rips the flesh from his chest. She peels apart his ribs, shoving her fist into him and ripping out his beating heart. She slams it on the floor beside them. There’s an explosion of purple. It covers nearly all of them.

VRISKA: FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.

Even with his heart ripped out, he doesn’t stop breathing. Vriska shakes him, and tears her fingers deeper into his chest, soaking herself in his blood. Everyone looks on, horrified. Muted gasps and muffled cries as, one by one, they all come to the same conclusion she does. Vriska cries out, sobbing.

VRISKA: HOW COULD YOU?!

A long moment passes as Gamzee seethes through his shredded lungs. Finally, he speaks.

GAMZEE: YOU SAID IT YOURSELF.
GAMZEE: you already motherfucking ruined him.

And with that, Gamzee’s eyes finally close.

Notes:

https://youtu.be/-9jcQsMwtWU?si=xnk6vbNoZyunZkMN

Chapter 28: Love, Calliope

Notes:

12/14/2024

It's been over a month. Fuck. I still can't believe it. Which is funny, because I already knew. 2 and a half years ago, that spring, I had a pit in my stomach. I fucking knew.

 

Content Warning: the following chapter may be upsetting to those who have experienced sexual violence or abuse. reader discretion is advised.

dear...yoU know exactly who yoU are.

yoU promised me yoU woUld get this sorted, that everyone woUld retUrn to their normal selves! their canon selves! nobody gets possessed! nobody gets corrUpted. yoU PROMISED! bUt this is all WRONG. gamzee woUld never do this! he loves his friends. he woUldn't harm karkat of his own free will, and he was SO SAD when tavros died. the gamzee i know woUld never kill him, and he woUld NEVER force himself on anyone! he's not that kind of person. he's jUst not.
in case yoU’re too lUcky to Understand what it’s like to go throUgh what he went though, jUst becaUse someone's in a bad way doesn't mean they're a bad person! he's been throUgh so mUch, yoU know? his lUsUs abandoned him. none of his friends respect him... they don't even care if he sUffers! you must not know what it's like to have the person yoU love the most not care aboUt yoU at all. to loathe yoU, even. it hUrts. it hUrts so badly.

and maybe i'm jUst biased, bUt he was kind to me! he was! he really did care, and he really did love me. maybe yoU jUst don't Understand that side of him! maybe yoU're jUst seeing what yoU want to see! yes, he might be irredeemable now bUt that's becaUse yoU made him that way!!! and i’ll never forgive yoU for it.

oh screw it! i have to confess i do hate yoU right now. i try not to feel this way bUt it’s so hard when yoU do things like this. yoU were sUpposed to destroy my brother, not become him! yoU both think yoU know this story better than anyone else, and ESPECIALLY better than me. was that the point of all of this? jUst to brUsh me aside? to make me feel bad becaUse i don't have the exact same opinions as yoU do? and yoU know what? yoU did it! becaUse i do feel bad. i feel bloody fUcking awfUl. i feel like yoU hate me, and i don't know why, becaUse all i've ever done is love these people and this story. that's all i've ever wanted to do.
so do yoU? right? yoU certainly said yoU did. yoU told me yoU loved them too! all of them, even gamzee. so i really don't Understand why yoU’re doing this!
i'm sorry. i promise i’m not mad at yoU. please jUst change yoUr mind. please jUst take it back. it woUld jUst mean so mUch if you did.

 

love,
Calliope

Chapter 29: Change of Heart

John was too young to appreciate the beauty of the scratch the first time. Or maybe he was too busy grieving. Not anymore, though. Now, with his father beside him, they watch the Quills of Echidna scratch the Beat Mesa. He dispatches his enemies just as easily, but now his father is looking proudly upon him. John beams from atop a mountain of grist.

ARADIA: oh hi guys

The two of them turn around, and Aradia waves at them. Dad holds his hand out and Aradia takes it, shaking it heartily.

ARADIA: im aradia
DAD: I AM JOHN EGBERTS DAD.
ARADIA: thats great!
ARADIA: and i hope you dont mind but i am going to need the ring of life from you
JOHN: well lucky for you, i still have it!

John glances over at his Dad, who casts his eyes downward. John frowns.

JOHN: we were going to use it, though.
ARADIA: you still can! i only need it for a little while
ARADIA: although if youre trying to bring someone back id wait. ive already rounded up the bodies in my sylladex so we can figure out prototyping later since they wont decompose or anything if we keep them there
JOHN: you can do that?
ARADIA: as the maid of time? absolutely
JOHN: i mean that's pretty brutal.

She laughs.

ARADIA: not really
ARADIA: besides its important
ARADIA: now if you dont mind im going to take you all back to the meteor for a brief moment
JOHN: shouldn’t we be on the ship?
ARADIA: well get there!
ARADIA: oh and johns dad?
ARADIA: you might want to close your eyes

John keeps them open, he shouldn't have.

JOHN: STOP!

John screams, his voice breaking. Aradia freezes everyone but the two of them. John can feel the blood rush to his head. He can’t take it anymore. He wasn’t prepared. He must have convinced himself subconsciously that now that his Dad was back he was out of the woods. That somehow, cosmically, his own father had brought some sort of peace to this universe. He was so fucking wrong. He stares at Gamzee’s corpse, his bright purple blood splattered all over Vriska, who holds his heart, still caught in a vestigial half-beat.

John’s mind goes blank, an unpleasant numbness overtakes him. He’s been able to keep it together for so long, but he can’t do it anymore. He sinks to his knees.

What kind of special hell had he created?

JOHN: we need to do another retcon.
ARADIA: what do you mean?

John hears his voice echo outside of himself, realizing just how much he truly hates it.

JOHN: i-
JOHN: what do you mean "what do you mean"?
JOHN: this universe is worse than the one we left! we ruined every thing! we have to fix it, right now!

Aradia sighs, giving him a half smile.

ARADIA: john we had two goals
ARADIA: to restore canon
ARADIA: and stop the creation of lord english
ARADIA: i told you not everyone is going to make-
JOHN: and stop the death of our friends!
JOHN: or more like YOUR friends, aradia!

John turns to her, his consciousness flooding back to him in one fell swoop. Blood rushes to his face. He entangles his hands in his hair. Her species may have different norms around death, but that didn’t mean he had to like it...or her.

JOHN: how the fuck do you sleep at night?

Aradia’s brows furrow, and she takes a deep breath. It’s the first time John has ever seen a chip in her veneer.

ARADIA: john
ARADIA: i know this is going to sound condescending
ARADIA: but i really think you-

Aradia fumbles with her words, probably trying not to call him a naive moron. He doesn’t have the patience for it, but wills himself to give her the benefit of the doubt.

ARADIA: i understand that your dad died
ARADIA: i get that you saw your timeline get destroyed and lost several versions of your friends
ARADIA: i completely understand why you would think that retconning
ARADIA: the thing that brought you back all of the people i just mentioned
ARADIA: could save everyone
ARADIA: but it cant
ARADIA: there are forces beyond your control
JOHN: like what

His voice loses its harshness.

ARADIA: the players in my session grew up in a nightmarish dictatorship under a strict caste system created by lord english
ARADIA: we were constantly being subjected to propaganda that told us to maintain this hierarchy even after our planet had long since died
ARADIA: we had no formal education, nothing to teach us how to unlearn any of this
ARADIA: we were taught to turn against each other from birth
ARADIA: on top of that we had scratch whispering in our ears the entire time
ARADIA: goading us into our worst impulses
ARADIA: do you really think that a couple of brief conversations is enough to change that?
ARADIA: you think i havent tried?
ARADIA: its a formidable task to grow a garden in salted earth
ARADIA: terezi is a seer and the smartest person we both know
ARADIA: dont you think if there was a way to prevent this she would have?

John hides his face in his hands, he lies down on the ground, feeling his throat start to seize up. He can’t stomach this, trading lives like playing cards. Maybe it was necessary, laudable even, for Terezi and Aradia to harden their hearts enough to make the decisions that would save the most people, but he’s just not capable of that.

JOHN: well then what the fuck is the POINT!?
JOHN: no matter WHAT i do it’s lord english this and doc scratch that and i’m so FUCKING TIRED OF IT!
JOHN: we spent YEARS trying to figure out a way to get rid of him, only to FINALLY pull it off but NOPE, he’s still there! he was there the WHOLE TIME! ruining every thing good and now he’s FULLY BACK. ready to kill even more people this time!

He says, gesturing at the green sun. Aradia kneels down next to him.

ARADIA: i never said it was a forgone conclusion
ARADIA: i said it was going to be difficult
ARADIA: do you remember what rose said about how we hacked and slashed our way to a victory?
ARADIA: about how that eventually spelled our downfall
JOHN: yes?
ARADIA: well
ARADIA: we still have that chance
ARADIA: this timeline isnt unsalvageable
ARADIA: i dont know if its our doing or if its sheer force of luck
ARADIA: but people are surviving now that didnt before

John puts his head in his hands.

JOHN: does that mean there’s still a chance we can help everyone? even tavros and sollux???
JOHN: (also eridan...i guess.)

Aradia sighs.

ARADIA: death’s door is rarely ever anyones final destination around here
ARADIA: so as long as we defeat lord english
ARADIA: there is hope

They have to do it then. For Tavros.

JOHN: ...
JOHN: ok.

John wants to die, but instead he speaks the wish he’s been dreaming of for a decade now.

JOHN: i want my dad.

Aradia unfreezes John’s dad, who opens his eyes. His face sinks, and John immediately feels selfish. His dad didn’t deserve to see this. He doesn’t even have context. His father pulls him into a hug and lets out a shaky sigh.

DAD: ALL I HAVE EVER WANTED IS TO PROTECT YOU.
DAD: I FAILED.
JOHN: no, dad. you didn’t fail!
JOHN: i’m just so happy you’re here right now.
JOHN: you have no idea how much that means to me-

John starts crying. He can smell his Dad’s old spice, just like how he remembered.

JOHN: i just want this all to be over.
JOHN: i just want to go home.
DAD: ME TOO, SON.
DAD: ME TOO.

They hold one another again, for a long, long time.

ARADIA: alright john
ARADIA: do you want to keep going?
JOHN: ...
JOHN: yeah.

And with that, everything whirrs to life again.

Notes:

those sure are some blue curtains

Chapter 30: Keep Your Eye On The...

SOLLUX: where the fuck am ii?

Sollux awakens in a cold sweat as the green sun practically blinds him. He’s wearing some sort of metal ring. Gold, he can tell by its conductivity. He looks around, disoriented. He’s on top of the meteor, surrounded by people. Feferi runs to hug him, he leans into her chest, and Aradia.

...

Aradia!?

SOLLUX: aradia holy 2hiit you’re aliive!?
ARADIA: yep!

Sollux is overcome with so much emotion he can barley speak. There she is, just how he remembered her. God, she looks so happy. He thought he’d never see that smile again. He leans back.

SOLLUX: how did you go god tiier!?
ARADIA: from my slab on derse
SOLLUX: waiit what? ii thought you 2peciifiically 2aiid you were a 2peciial ca2e and that you diidn’t have a dream2elf or a que2t bed
ARADIA: i did!
ARADIA: but i was wrong
SOLLUX: ii mean, ii gue22 that2 fair.

Sollux laughs, and squeezes Feferi’s hand. He doesn’t really care how it happened. He’s just glad that the universe had some goddamn mercy for once. His relief is short lived, however, as he realizes that Feferi is covered in blood.

SOLLUX: oh fuck.
SOLLUX: fef are you ok?
FEFERI: O)( don’t worry aboat me! I’m fine, reely!
Sollux knits his brows and squints, looking around. Wait, what the fuck?!

SOLLUX: ..
SOLLUX: holy 2hiit.
SOLLUX: diid..
SOLLUX: diid vriiska ju2t kiill gamzee??!!
VRISKA: I sure fucking hope so.

She says, giving him a hearty kick. Nobody even flinches.

SOLLUX: 2orry ii 2hould rephra2e that.
SOLLUX: diid you people just let vrii2ka kiill gamzee??
KANAYA: You Missed A Lot Of Context
KANAYA: I Assure You If You Knew It You Would Not Feel Very Sorry For Him
SOLLUX: kanaya you need two explaiin that 2hit riight now.
KANAYA: Sollux Gamzee Was The One Who Attacked Us
SOLLUX: WHAT??!!
KANAYA: I Know It’s Hard To Believe But I Saw Him
SOLLUX: 2o he al2o killed tavro2

Sollux looks around. All of them look haunted by some truth he can’t access.

SOLLUX: why the fuck i2 nepeta weariing a top hat fake faciial haiir?
TEREZI: 1T W4S FOR OUR 1NV3ST1G4T1ON
SOLLUX: ok??
TEREZI: H3’S GU1LTY.
NEPETA: :(( < *not to change the subject but ac is also quietly panicking about her meowrail and is wondering if her pounceller would maybe investigate that as well befur it’s too late*
TEREZI: R1GHT
TEREZI: 4R4RD14 COM3 H3R3
ARADIA: yeah?

Terezi whispers something in her ear, Aradia looks taken aback.

ARADIA: thats sort of a personal question
ARADIA: is there any reason why youre asking

Terezi whispers something else.

ARADIA: do you really think thatd be enough of a draw considering that

Aradia whispers back. Terezi shakes her head, looking over at Gamzee.

TEREZI: SO WH4T YOU 4RE S4Y1NG 1S H3 W4S 4LSO GU1LTY OF TR34SON
TEREZI: 1V3 B33N GO1NG 4T TH1S 4LL WRONG
TEREZI: TH3 QU3ST1ON SHOULDN’T B3 WH4T CR1M3S H4S H3 COM1TT3D 1T SHOULD B3 WH4T CR1M3 H4SN’T H3 COM1TT3D
ARADIA: hm

Aradia angles herself awkwardly towards Gamzee and speaks very loudly.

ARADIA: just so everyone knows.
ARADIA: i will be keeping a very close watch over all the kernel sprites
ARADIA: and any sunglasses containing auto responders
ARADIA: so if you want any of those things you are going to have to go through me first
ARADIA: which is going to be very hard for people that cant use my music boxes to time travel because i am taking all of them with me
ARADIA: (was that helpful?)
TEREZI: (10/10 3XPOS1T1ON DROP 1 COULDN’T H4V3 DON3 1T B3TT3R MYS3LF)
ARADIA: :D
VRISKA: (I h8 being left out of shit.)
NEPETA: :(( < guys can you please tell us what’s going on?
TEREZI: 1T’S A CO1N FL1P
TEREZI: BUT 31TH3R W4Y H3’S D3FIN3T3LY M1SS1NG
TEREZI: N3P3T4
TEREZI: YOU ST1LL H4V3 TH4T MOUST4CH3
NEPETA: :33 < yiss i still have it on!
NEPETA: :33 < although i will say it feels...furry insensitive right now.
TEREZI: FUCK PROPR13TY
TEREZI: W3V3 GOT A MYST3RY TO SOLV3
TEREZI: BUT F1RST...
KARKAT: FIRST WHAT.
TEREZI: SOLLUX
SOLLUX: yeah?
TEREZI: 1 N33D YOU TO FL1NG TH1S TH1NG 4T TH3 GR33N SUN 4S F4ST 4S YOU C4N
SOLLUX: are you 2eriiou2?
ARADIA: yes
ARADIA: we need to cross sessions
SOLLUX: holy fuck
SOLLUX: okay 2o ii can do that
SOLLUX: and with thii2 riing ii won’t diie
SOLLUX: but ii am goiing to sure a2 fuck wii2h ii wa2 dead

He looks around. Fuck, he doesn’t have a choice, does he?

SOLLUX: alriight. here goes nothiing.

Sollux presses his palms on the roof. His horns crackle, then spark, then whirr in a blinding light. Aradia’s time powers allow them to stay put as it accelerates. When it reaches a stable speed, Sollux collapses. Feferi catches him and Karkat rushes in to help.

KARKAT: HOLY SHIT SOLLUX ARE YOU OKAY?!
SOLLUX: do ii look okay?
SOLLUX: fuck
SOLLUX: 2orry kk
KARKAT: FUCK THAT DON’T SAY SORRY
KARKAT: ALSO, YOU CAN COME WITH US IF YOU WANT.
SOLLUX: dude ii don’t know, ii mean ba2ed on the 2peed we’re goiing at iit’2 gonna be like thr-
SOLLUX: oh fuck
KARKAT: WHAT
SOLLUX: where the hell ii2 gamzee
KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HIS CORPSE IS RIGHT -

Gamzee’s corpse is not in fact, right there. It, along with his heart, is gone, with only a trail of blood as evidence, trailing deep into the meteor.

SOLLUX: nope
SOLLUX: fuck thii2

And with that, Sollux plucks the ring off of his finger and immediately falls down to the ground, deceased.

FEFERI: SOLLUX! 38(
ARADIA: oh no
ARADIA: well that does kind of throw a wrench in things
ARADIA: uh
ARADIA: let’s try plan b
ARADIA: feferi if you wanna come with me and john you and i can see sollux in the dream bubbles
FEFERI: I t)(ink I’d prefer that.

Aradia grabs Feferi’s hand, and Feferi squeezes it.

ARADIA: alright well, first thing’s first

And, as if on cue, Rose and Dave appear on the meteor. Dave immediately runs to John.

DAVE: yoooo holy shit
DAVE: i dont want to make this weird but can i hug you
JOHN: uh, yeah? obviously?
JOHN: come here, dude.

John gives Dave a bear hug, and Dave practically melts into his arms in the least homoerotic way possible.

DAVE: im not crying right now just so you know
JOHN: i totally believe you, man.
DAVE: okay awesome because that would be lame as fuck

John pulls back and Dave is practically jumping in excitement.

DAVE: woah hey john check out this fucking lying bitch who told me you were dead

Dave gestures to Rose, who facepalms.

ROSE: That’s no way to talk to your sister, Dave.
DAVE: listen man give me a break ive only known about our little star wars fiasco since like five minutes ago give me some time to adjust goddamn
JOHN: ...star wars?
ROSE: Nevermind. That’s not important.
ROSE: Anyways, re: John, I’m certainly happy to be proven wrong. Even if I don’t quite know how you managed to survive a heroic death.
KARKAT: (maybe there was a hidden quest bed on derse nobody told him about.)
ARADIA: (:D)
JOHN: technically you’re both right! i’m alive and also i did not survive. heh...it’s complicated.
ROSE: It seems so...

Rose looks around, her eyes flit over to Kanaya.

ROSE: You must be Kanaya.
KANAYA: That Would Be Correct
ROSE: It’s nice to meet you.
KANAYA: Likewise

Rose gives Kanaya an up and down, Kanaya touches her hair bashfully. She’s still covered in blood.

TEREZI: SUP COOLK1D
DAVE: holy shit now its a fucking party

They hug, and Dave tries for a fistbump. She misses.

KARKAT: NO THE FUCK IT IS NOT A PARTY
KARKAT: DAVE YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT JUST WENT DOWN
DAVE: wow okay dude maybe you should get one of your troll friends to remove the massive stick somebody clearly shoved up your load pusher or whatever the fuck you people call it
KARKAT: EXCREMENT SCHUTE.
DAVE: wow that is so much worse jesus christ
DAVE: oh man
DAVE: i am so excited to annoy the fuck out of your jealous ass for the next three years
DAVE: also oh my god is that the fucking cat girl
NEPETA: :33 < *ac confirms she is ind33d the effing cat girl*
DAVE: holy fuck this meteor is going to be AWESOME
DAVE: john are you fucking pumped because im pumped
JOHN: aw dave, i’m really sorry to be the bearer of bad news here, but i can’t come with you guys.
DAVE: wait seriously whats the hold up
JOHN: i've gotta stay with jade.
JOHN: it's not fair for her to be all alone or with a bunch of people she doesn’t know.
JOHN: and i gotta make sure my dad is okay.
DAVE: fuck youre right
DAVE: maybe i should come with you
JOHN: no, you’ve gotta stay here. there’s a specific way this has to go. aradia, feferi and i are gonna go on the ship.
JOHN: you and everyone else are gonna stay here on the meteor.
ROSE: It’s a good plan. Dave, if you can tolerate the presence of a lying bitch, I’d love to have you stay.
DAVE: we can make it work
DAVE: damn
DAVE: i guess this is goodbye
JOHN: i’ll see you in a few years!
DAVE: yeah man see you in a fe-
KARKAT: NOPE.
KARKAT: JOHN I AM NOT DONE WITH YOU YET.
JOHN: oh no...
KARKAT: DON’T "OH NO" ME. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP LEAVING BEFORE WE CAN HAVE AN ACTUAL CONFRONTATION?
KARKAT: I WAS GONNA TROLL YOU INTO OBLIVION AND YOU KEPT FUCKING AVOIDING ME.
JOHN: uh, karkat, i am not sure this is a good time.
KARKAT: NO SHIT TROLL SHERLOCK, BUT YOU’VE LEFT ME NO CHOICE SINCE YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING LEAVE US NO MATTER WHAT I DO.

John sighs, deeply.

JOHN: is this about the whole hate thing?
JOHN: because, i'm not gonna lie, this whole "kismesis" thing sounds really stressful!
KARKAT: FIRST, OKAY YOU’RE ASSUMING SOMETHING I HAVEN’T FUCKING SAID YET.
DAVE: yet
KARKAT: SHUT UP.
KARKAT: SECOND, GOD WHY DOES YOUR SPECIES HAVE NO NUANCE WHEN IT COMES TO HATRED. IT’S BEYOND AGGRAVATING TO HAVE TO TRY AND WALK YOU PEOPLE THROUGH THIS STUFF.
KARKAT: OF COURSE IF YOUR DEFINITION OF THE WORD IS "HATE" MEANS "I THINK YOU’RE DISGUSTING" OR "I WANT TO KILL YOU" I SOUND DERANGED BUT HAVE YOU MAYBE CONSIDERED FOR ONCE IN YOUR PATHETIC LIFE THAT THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEAN?
KARKAT: BEING A KISMESIS IS BEING IN A PERFECT RIVALRY. IT’S LITERALLY IN THE NAME, KISS MET NEMESIS, I’M NOT SURE I CAN SPELL IT OUT ANY BETTER!
JOHN: oh!
JOHN: wow actually that does make a lot of sense when you put it that way...it sounds actually appealing instead of being just horrible.
KARKAT: THAT’S WHAT I’VE TRYING TO PITCH TO YOU THIS WHOLE TIME, MORON.
KARKAT: JOHN YOU AND I ARE FUCKING PERFECT OPPOSITES. IT’S LIKE WE’RE MEANT TO HATE EACH OTHER.
KARKAT: LIKE OUR RIVALRY WAS WRITTEN IN THE STARS.
JOHN: hm...
JOHN: i still don’t think that really applies to us!
JOHN: we’re much better as allies than as rivals. besides, i like being around you too much to be your rival.
KARKAT: BUT...FUCK.
KARKAT: DO YOU REALLY NOT HATE ME AT ALL?
JOHN: not even a little. i actually think you’re pretty cool!
KARKAT: GOD IT’S BECAUSE YOU SAW ME WHEN I WAS INJURED, WASN’T IT?
KARKAT: YOU PROBABLY JUST FUCKING PITY ME.
KARKAT: OKAY WELL MAYBE THERE’S STILL A CHANCE
KARKAT: LIKE IF LATER OVER TIME I PROVED MYSELF AND YOU STARTED REALLY HATING ME MORE
KARKAT: LIKE REALLY GOT TO KNOW ME AND FOUND OUT ABOUT HOW MUCH THERE WAS TO HATE
DAVE: (holy shit this is fucking embarrasing.)
KARKAT: I HEARD THAT YOU COLOSSAL SHITSTAIN.
JOHN: uh...
KARKAT: FUCK WHAT AM I BABBLING ABOUT.
KARKAT: THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS, WE JUST MET FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
KARKAT: AND YOU’RE LEAVING NO MATTER WHAT, SO IT'S ALL A MOOT POINT.
KARKAT: SO FORGET I SAID ANYTHING.
KARKAT: GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
JOHN: listen, karkat. i really don’t want you take this personally when say this, but there’s no way you and i can be together. and i promise there’s a really good reason for it!
KARKAT: WHAT?
DAVE: dude it’s cause hes straight
KARKAT: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
DAVE: its when guys arent into guys or girls arent into girls or whatever
KARKAT: THAT’S A THING?
DAVE: yeah its most humans
JOHN: i mean, that’s the answer i originally gave! but it’s not the reason i can’t be with you, karkat, not any more.
DAVE: so you do like guys
JOHN: no...i mean, i don’t think so? i’m pretty sure i don’t! i’ve never liked a guy before and i probably never will.
KARKAT: WAIT
KARKAT: SO WHY IS THAT NOT THE REASON?
JOHN: listen karkat, it’s not that i have a problem with alien romance or anything like that, it’s not even that i’m not a homosexual.
JOHN: ...
JOHN: it's because you’re supposed to be with dave!

The silence is deafening. Then, Terezi and Vriska both erupt in laughter. Dave laughs along with them, albeit nervously.

DAVE: oh man john you and the fucking pranks
JOHN: this isn’t a prank...
DAVE: haha sounds like the exact thing a guy would say if hes doing a prank
KARKAT: FIRST OF ALL, THERE’S NO WAY THAT’S TRUE. EITHER DAVE’S RIGHT OR YOU’RE FUCKING DELUSIONAL. EVEN IF IT WERE, HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW THAT?!
JOHN: uh, because i’m from a different time line than you?
ROSE: (Oh my god. He’s right.)
KANAYA: (How Do You Know)
ROSE: (Our John jumped in front of his father to save him from Jack. He died a heroic death. Somehow, this John managed to cross over with Aradia, despite not being a time player himself. None of the other answers I have make sense or sound feasible.)
TEREZI: 1F TH1S 1S TRU3 1T W1LL B3 TH3 WORST FOR M3 B3C4US3 1T M34NS 1 W1LL H4V3 TO R3SP3CT JOHN NOW
TEREZI: 1TS THE ONLY W4Y TO R34CT TO SOM3ON3 DROPP1NG SUCH 4N 4M4Z1NG R3V3L4T1ON 4T SUCH 4 B4D T1M3
KARKAT: NO FUCKING WAY, TEREZI DO NOT SIDE WITH HIM HE’S A SHIT EATING LIAR AND THERE’S NO WAY THIS IS A THING WE DID IN ANY TIMELINE EVER.
DAVE: yeah terezi you have seer powers you know that shits bs

Terezi thinks for a second, before her face breaks into a shit eating grin.

TEREZI: L1ST3N GUYS W3 4LL H4D 4 PR3TTY GOOD RUN BUT B4S3D ON TH3 R3V3L4T1ONS 1'M G3TT1NG FROM S41NT JOHN 1 4M GO1NG TO H4V3 TO M4K3 SOM3 4DJUSTM3NTS
KARKAT: WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?
TEREZI: 1'M BR34K1NG UP W1TH BOTH OF YOU PR33MPT1V3LY

Karkats stares at her, open mouthed, fighting back confused tears.

KARKAT: TEREZI
KARKAT: WHY
TEREZI: B3C4US3 1T 1S TH3 FUNN13ST TH1NG 1 COULD POSS1BLY DO
DAVE: you know what
DAVE: i kind of fuckin respect that
TEREZI: YOU B3TT3R R3SP3CT 1T COOLK1D B3C4US3 N3WSFL4SH MY WORD 1S L4W >;]
DAVE: you know what its kind of sick to see you and john team up
DAVE: fuck it would be so fun to have you both here its such bullshit we cant bring everyone
DAVE: welp
DAVE: karkat looks like hes gonna disintegrate and even im starting to feel bad for him so i think the jig can be up at this point john

Dave pretends to dab at a camera. He really gets into it. It is so cool.

KARKAT: NICE WAY TO TAKE THE HEAT OFF YOURSELF, ASSHOLE. EVERYONE KNOWS YOU’RE LOSING IT UNDER THOSE DUMBASS SHADES.
DAVE: whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night
DAVE: anyways hes totally punking us
DAVE: thats all there really is to say on the matter
JOHN: i’m not, but if you guys would feel better if i was then uh, you can go ahead and believe that if you want...i guess i can’t stop you.

Dave and Karkat exchange glances.

DAVE: you are
KARKAT: I AGREE.
KARKAT: ALSO THAT HATE CONFESSION WAS ALSO NOT SERIOUS.
NEPETA: :33 < it wasn’t?
KARKAT: YES NEPETA. IT WAS 100 PERCENT NOT SERIOUS AND ALSO A HUMAN PRANK.

John sighs, furrowing his brows at Dave, who is now bouncing around nervously.

DAVE: and even if you werent joking youd still be wrong
DAVE: because the only person straighter than you is me obviously
DAVE: a thing which i have never questioned ever
DAVE: im constantly mackin on all sorts of bitches and by bitches i mean women and not men
DAVE: and before you say "dave what about the time you asked tavros to suck your crotch dashaund"
JOHN: what the fuck???
DAVE: well that was a little thing we in the buisness like to call
DAVE: irony
DAVE: which means that shits funny specifically because youre not a homosexual or whatever the fuck your dumbass sister keeps suggesting you are youre fucking straight as shit
DAVE: and she only says that shit to fuck with you anyways
DAVE: right rose
DAVE: rose youre only saying that to fuck with me you dont actually think im into dudes
ROSE: Dave...
DAVE: john you believe me
DAVE: john youll fucking vouch for me right
JOHN: listen dave, i gotta run.
JOHN: take care of yourselves, okay?
JOHN: i’ll miss you.
DAVE: ...
DAVE: holy fuck is this actually how were leaving things for three years
DAVE: jesus christ how did i manage to one up karkat thats genuinely impressive

John puts a hand on his shoulder.

JOHN: dave do you want another hug?
DAVE: ...
DAVE: ill accept it

Chapter 31: Set Sail

Summary:

Hey Everyone! The fic isn't dead, yay! Sorry, this last semester has been nuts. The good news is that I've finished my outline (the whole plot is done, I've got chapter-by-chapter summaries completed for the last 80 (fuck.) chapters), plus another ten chapters that are quasi done. Thank you, nat(https://www.instagram.com/natndraw/?hl=en), for for helping me with the drawing (providing the sketch) I wouldn't have been able to do it without you!!!

JADE: JOHN!

Jade leaps into his arms.
JADE: oh my god i thought you were a gonner for sure :(

John laughs nervously.

JOHN: well, i'm not very gone now!
JADE: :D

Jade gives him a squeeze before pulling back and looking at his face. Her smile falters.

JADE: john you look older

There’s a long awkward pause. Jade leans back into him, but John’s gaze shifts to Davesprite, who up until this point seemed ambivalent at best to John's presence, and is now eyeing him suspiciously.

JOHN: Dave?
DAVESPRITE: is that a fucking question or
JOHN: should i call you dave sprite or do you want me to call you dave?
DAVESPRITE: ...
DAVESPRITE: david
DAVESPRITE: call me david.
JOHN: no way dude, i’ve gotta draw the line somewhere!

 

John rolls his eyes with a smirk. It’s so hard to tell what Davesprite is thinking behind those shades, but his shoulders relax.

DAVESPRITE: daves cool
DAVE: wait what the hell is your dad doing here
DAVE: i thought all our guardians were supposed to be dead
JOHN: it’s...something about my denizen.

Dave purses his lips and inhales, trying not to let his stress show. He looks around.

DAVE: yo john can we talk for a second

A pang of anxiety runs through John. He gives another nervous chuckle.

JOHN: uh how about...later?
JOHN: there’s going to be a lot of later.
FEFERI: )(ow long exactly?
ARADIA: three years
ARADIA: but you and i can skip ahead to the end if you want
ARADIA: i was planning to do that anyways
FEFERI: Are you s)(ore t)(ats a good idea? You just said we could stay here! It seams like it mig)(t be better to wader it out.

Araida looks at her, puzzled.

ARADIA: oh right
ARADIA: um
ARADIA: i am not sure why youd really want to stay though
ARADIA: its going to be a bit of a slog
FEFERI: W)(ale, maybe that’s a good thing! So muc)( )(as )(appened in the last day, I’m totally ex)(austed, and I’ve only just started sealing.
FEFERI: Besides, w)(o do we )(ave waiting for us w)(o won’t also be on t)(at meteor or in the dream bubbles?
FEFERI: ...
FEFERI: Aradia?

It’s only a brief flash, but a look of agony strikes Aradia’s face like lightning. She suppresses it in a moment, though, forcing back a smile before anyone else sees it.

JADE: well, i think the more the merrier! i’ve spent my whole life alone and i for one am really happy that you guys are even considering tagging along
JOHN: and dont forget we also have my powers! so we can even access the other sessions! i don’t think boredom is an issue.
ARADIA: you know what
ARADIA: you guys are right
ARADIA: there’s no harm in hunkering down for a little while!
ARADIA: so that’s it
ARADIA: it’s decided

She turns to Feferi.

ARADIA: for three years it’ll be just us
ARADIA: you
ARADIA: me
ARADIA: john
ARADIA: jade
ARADIA: davesprite
ARADIA: john’s dad whose name i still don’t know
ARADIA: and all these corpses!

Notes:

Another (longer) chapter is going to be uploaded tonight!

Chapter 32: Bedbugs

Summary:

Here's something a little longer! If you've skipped to the latest chapter just an FYI there are two new chapters, so make sure you read the one before this if you haven't already
CW: Benzodiazepine use

That first night was grueling. That’s all there really was to say on the matter. The seven of them go to the computer lab, which they all immediately start retooling using the alchemizer. They added doors, a manual entrance was crucial to avoid another massacre- along with an attatched bathroom. They bring the treasure chests in (sans the one john puked in), consolidate loot, and lay down some blankets and furniture. Terezi adds a corkboard and places a ball of red yarn beside it, which Nepeta takes for herself, batting at it nervously.

TEREZI: TH4TS 4LL W3 C4N DO FOR NOW.
ROSE: I think we should all probably rest. Kanaya, you and I can start working on hatching the matriorb tomorrow.
VRISKA: Rest? HA! Fat chance.
VRISKA: We need to find Equius now. If he’s not dead already, time is running out.
NEPETA: :33 < *the huntress readies herself fur battle*
TEREZI: GUYS NO
TEREZI: TH4TS JUST WH4T H3 W4NTS YOU TO DO
KARKAT: TEREZI IS RIGHT, WE ALL KNOW HOW THIS GOES DOWN
KARKAT: HE’S GOING TO FIND SOME WAY TO SEPERATE US, AND THEN HE’S GOING TO PICK US OFF ONE AT A TIME
KARKAT: THAT’S WHAT HE DID WITH EQUIUS
KARKAT: THAT’S WHAT HE’S GOING TO DO WITH YOU TWO
VRISKA: Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?
VRISKA: I’m 8etter than Gamzee, in every single way. I think if tonight has proven anything, it’s that. If you think I am going to just shrivel up and die in a one on one then honestly go fuck yourself.
KARKAT: OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP BEING DENSE.
KARKAT: IT’S NOT YOU I’M WORRIED ABOUT IT’S NEPETA.
VRISKA: Don’t 8e condescending, Karkat. Nepeta’s tough as hell.

Nepeta nods her head vigorously and pulls out her claws.

KANAYA: Her Toughness Isnt Being Called Into Question
KANAYA: The Fear Is That When Push Comes To Shove
KANAYA: It Wont Be Enough
KANAYA: Her Skill As A Warrior is Formidible
KANAYA: But Theres Strong And Theres Killing Gamzee Strong
KANAYA: I Felt His Grip And I Still Feel It
KANAYA: The Difference Between Him And Equius Might Be Meaningful To Them
KANAYA: But To Us It Is Insignificant
KANAYA: You Can Best Him Though Your Superior Luck
KANAYA: But The Fact Of The Matter Is Even You Could Not Kill Him
VRISKA: ........

 

Vriska silently sits down in front of the door, staring at it darkly.

VRISKA: I didn’t realize I was finally worth speaking to.

Kanaya takes a forceful, deep breath.

ROSE: I think it’s probably best to try and put whatever differences we have behind us at least until things settle.
KANAYA: I Was Attempting To Do Just That
VRISKA: No you weren’t! You were 8eing fucking condescending! Just like you always are! Just nagging and whining and needling me until you get sort of concessions with no regard for how difficult it is for me to give them up!
KANAYA: How Do You Expect Me To Reason With You When You Are Constantly Speaking Over Me
KANAYA: Of Course It Looks Like Needling When You Expect For Me to Fight Fang and Claw For Even The Most Minor Victories
KANAYA: You Just Want To Do What You Want To Do Unimpeded
KANAYA: Anything Compared To That Is Framed As Completely Unreasonable
KANAYA: But The Truth Is That Sometimes What You Want Is Bad Vriska
KANAYA: Sometimes It Is Destructive Or Immoral Or Dangerous
KANAYA: In This Case It Could Lead To The Death Of One Of Our Few Remaining Friends

Vriska turns to Kanaya, smiling through gritted teeth.

VRISKA: Woooooooow! Do you see what you did just there!? Didn’t that feel good? Now imagine how it would have felt if you had communic8ed those feelings to me earlier instead of FUCKING A8ANDONING ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!

She bangs her fist on the ground, eyes full of tears.

KANAYA: Vriska Look Me In The Eyes And Seriously Tell Me You That Would Have Listened If I Told You What You Did To Our Friends Was Unacceptable
KANAYA: Ill Wait

Vriska turns away.

VRISKA: ........
VRISKA: I would have appreci8ed it.
KANAYA: Vriska Why Is The Burden On Me To Act Like The Paragon Of Maturity When You Cant Even Do The Bare Minimum
KANAYA: You Expect for Me To Move The Earth For You For Crumbs In Exchange
VRISKA: I’m Sorry are you-
KANAYA: No
KANAYA: Let Me Speak
KANAYA: During Our Moirailiegence I Was In A Constant State Of Solving Puzzels To Feel Cared For Because Your Affection Was Hidden Behind A Million Eyerolls
KANAYA: But At The Same Time You Expected Me To Be The One Thing Standing Between You And Emotional Ruin

Now Kanaya’s about to cry.

KANAYA: I Stayed Because I Loved You And I Wanted Us To Work So Badly
KANAYA: But When You Pulled That Stunt With Tavros Our Relationship Crossed The Event Horizon
KANAYA: It Was Wrong
KANAYA: You Knew It Was Wrong
KANAYA: And I Knew That I Was Going To Be The One Cleaning Up The Mess
KANAYA: But I Just Couldnt Do It Anymore
VRISKA: Then you should have 8roken up with me! If things were soooooooo impossible just end it!!!!!!!! Don’t leave me in the lurch! Don’t ignore me! You! You of all people know how much I h8 that! You pro8a8ly did it on purpose 8ecause you wanted me to feel as 8ad as you and that’s fucked! May8e not as fucked as anything I did 8ut it’s still iS and you KNOW that.

Kanaya sighs. She moves over to Vriska, and sits down beside her. She sighs.

KANAYA: Youre Right
KANAYA: And Im Sorry
VRISKA: ........
VRISKA: Yeah.
VRISKA: Me too.

A long silence. Then, Nepeta motions Terezi over.

NEPETA: :33 < (*the huntress will not sit idly by to s33 her meowrail purish, she must go find him*)
TEREZI: (*H3R M4G1STR4T3 FORB1DS 4NY SUCH QU3STS*)
NEPETA: :33 < (*then purrhaps ac will have to go rogue* :PP )
TEREZI: N3P3T4 NO
TEREZI: 1M B31NG S3R1OUS
TEREZI: TH1S 1S 4 T3RR1BL3 1D34
TEREZI: 1 KNOW 1T SOUNDS CR4ZY BUT 3QU1US 1S S4F3R W1TH G4MZ33 1F YOU’R3 NOT 1NVOLV3D
TEREZI: 3V3N 1F YOU DO BR1NG H1M B4CK S4F3 4ND SOUND H3'S ST1LL 1N D4NG3R B3C4US3 G4MZ33 W1LL 4LW4YS B3 4 THR34T 4S LONG 4S W3'R3 ON TH1S STUP1D ROCK
NEPETA: :(( < i don’t believe mew
NEPETA: :33 < none of you know equius like i do!
NEPETA: :33 < he’ll defeat gamz33 easily if i’m by his side
TEREZI: 1 DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'R3 3XP3CT1NG TH1S TO GO BUT TRUST M3
TEREZI: H3'S NOT GO1NG TO KOWTOW TO LOV3 4ND FR13NDSH1P
NEPETA: :33 < i know but-
TEREZI: TH1S 1S HOW YOU D13 N3P3T4
TEREZI: 1'V3 S33N 1T 4 M1LL1ON T1M3S
TEREZI: YOU TRY TO S4V3 H1M
TEREZI: 1T'S TOO L4T3
TEREZI: H3 K1LLS YOU
NEPETA: :33 < which is why we n33d to go now!
TEREZI: N3P3T4 YOU DON’T UND3RST4ND 1T W1LL 4LW4YS B3 TOO L4T3
TEREZI: H3'S WORK1NG W1TH SCR4TCH, H3 W1LL 4LW4YS KNOW MOR3 TH4N YOU
TEREZI: H3 1S 4LW4YS ON3 ST3P 4H34D
NEPETA: :33 < well then how do we beat him

Terezi shrugs, she looks exhausted.

TEREZI: TH4T'S TH3 MYST3RY

Dave goes into the bathroom to brush his teeth and Rose starts setting up the makeshift beds. Karkat makes a little nest for himself. Terezi paces. Kanaya eventually gets up from Vriska’s side, washing her face and changing into a nightgown (emphasis on gown. it’s pale pink, Victorian style).

ROSE: It’s lovely. I’d ask for a duplicate but I’m already in PJs. Can I use your face wash?
KANAYA: Of Course
ROSE: Thank you.
ROSE: You know I don’t actually mind this set up. It’s a bit like a sleepover.
KANAYA: We Do Not Have Sleep Overs On Alternia
KANAYA: What Is That
ROSE: It’s when you invite another person over your house to sleep over platonically. It’s a party of sorts.
ROSE: It’s fun in theory but in practice it is mostly awkward.
ROSE: Or, it sounds that way. I’ve never had one.
KANAYA: How Come

Rose frowns.

ROSE: I was a reclusive child, but I suppose that’s not really why. I spent most of my teenage years trying to hide my mother’s drinking. It’s not the kind of rumor you want spreading.
KANAYA: That Sounds Incredibly Difficult
ROSE: Funny. I’ve waited to hear those words for so long, but suddenly I’m inclined to disagree. I don’t think I knew how good I had it.

Rose gives Kanaya a small smile before washing up. Dave goes into the bathroom to brush his teeth and when Rose returns starts setting up the makeshift beds. She offers Kanaya a spot next to her in a pile of blankets, which Kanaya gladly accepts. Karkat makes a little nest for himself and Dave sits next to him, albeit with a wide breadth. Nepeta sits on the floor, sniffling.

KANAYA: Nepeta What’s Wrong
NEPETA: :33 < i can’t sl33p without him
NEPETA: :33 < back befur all of this i had pounce
NEPETA: :33 < and then i had him
NEPETA: :33 < and now i’m alone and it’s pawrrible
KARKAT: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE NEPETA

Nepeta looks at him, ready to burst into tears.

DAVE: dude i swear to god if you are about to be a dick to her after she just lost her boyfriend
DAVE: you will literally be the worst person on this meteor and that includes weird clown who might have murdered him
KARKAT: WOW CAN YOU EVEN LET ME FINISH A GODDAMN SENTENCE FOR ONCE WITHOUT MOUTHING OFF LIKE A DOUCHE?
DAVE: i felt like i was helping you by stopping you from being more of a douche
KARKAT: NO YOU MORONIC GRUBSHITTING ASSCLOWN YOU JUST MADE ME LOOK LIKE THE BIGGEST DOUCHE BY CUTTING ME OFF BEFORE I COULD SAY SOMETHING HEARTFELT
KARKAT: UGH
KARKAT: NEPETA JUST COME HERE

Nepeta leaps into Karkat’s arms. Dave sits down beside them, patting her hair.

KARKAT: FUCK OFF DAVE
DAVE: im just petting her jesus
KARKAT: YOU ARE DOING THIS SPECIFICALLY TO ANNOY ME
DAVE: no way i am doing it because shes fucking adorable look at her shes purring

Dave comes in to hug Nepeta from the other side, pulling Karkat in as well, who growls. Dave leans back and pulls all three of them to the floor. Terezi starts cackling.

DAVE: oh shit shes totally sleeping now i cant get up
NEPETA: :33 < (:33)
DAVE: damn this sucks for you karkat but theres nothing i can do because were both sleeping
VRISKA: God, you guys are so predicta8le.
TEREZI: 1T'S HON3STLY R34LLY 1MPR3SS1V3

 

They do all start nodding off eventally. At least, everyone but Vriska. Vriska, who is repeatedly rolling a set of dice towards the door, with increasing desperation. This goes on for 2 hours.

ROSE: ...
ROSE: Vriska have you been dropping those dice in perfect sets of eight this entire time.
VRISKA: Yes, and if you try and mess me up, I swear to fucking god I will fucking end you.
KANAYA: Dont You Dare

Kanaya murmurs, still half asleep.

ROSE: It’s fine.
KARKAT: NO, ROSE, IT’S NOT FINE. THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE. VRISKA YOU NEED TO STOP.
VRISKA: I’m trying to get 8^8 sets of eight
TEREZI: VR1SK4 TH4T 1S OV3R S1XT33N M1LL1ON
VRISKA: FUCK i just lost count! I was at 1056.
KARKAT: OKAY COOL WELL IT LOOKS LIKE YOU CAN STOP YOUR STUPID GOAL NOW AND LET ALL OF US SLEEP.
VRISKA: No. I’m starting over.
KARKAT: NO. YOU’RE STOPPING.
VRISKA: Noooooooo. I’m starting over.

At first glance, her tone is petulant, at a second, it’s desperate.

KARKAT: TEREZI YOU NEED TO GRAB HER DICE.

Terezi holds out her hand, and Vriska grabs them away from her, hissing.

VRISKA: NO!

Vriska cries out, Nepeta wakes up, bleary eyed. Dave takes the opportunity to take more of Karkat’s blanket. Karkat yanks it back, and Nepeta uses the confusion to snuggle up closer to both of them.

VRISKA: I’m doing this for you, you know that right? I’m proving my luck to you! I’m proving it to all of you! I don’t have time to sleep. I don’t have time.

Her breathing starts to quicken. It goes from fast, to completely out of control. She starts gripping the dice and banging them on the ground, still in sets of eight.

VRISKA: No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
VRISKA: Oh my god. I can’t 8reathe. Terezi I think he got me. I think he........he poisoned me. I think I’m dying.
ROSE: Alright.
ROSE: Kanaya I need you to walk with me down to the Alchemizers.
VRISKA: Rose, you can’t leave! I need to come with you.
ROSE: It’s okay.

Rose says, with some urgency in her voice. The two of them leave and Vriska lunges at the door. Terezi grabs her.

VRISKA: NO!
TEREZI: VR1SK4 YOU N33D TO C4LM DOWN 1T'S GO1NG TO B3 OK4Y
VRISKA: 8ULLSH8T! NO IT IS NOT! IT’S NOT GOING TO 8E OKAY.

 

Vriska collapses, hands shaking. She’s really struggling to breathe now. She inhales in ugly gasps and exhales in screams. Terezi sits beside her.

 

VRISKA: UGH, GOD IT HURTS. OH MY GOD, WHY! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
TEREZI: WH4T HURTS
VRISKA: I DON’T KNOW!? EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING HURTS! I JUST WANT TO RIP MY INSIDES OUT!

She collapses on the ground, clearly struggling for air.

VRISKA: Terezi. You need to kill me.
TEREZI: VR1SK4 NO
VRISKA: Please! It’s fucking mercy at this point and if you don’t do it i-
ROSE: Vriska.

Rose stands over her, a white rectangular pill in her hand.

ROSE: I need you to get up, and I need you to take this with a glass of water.
VRISKA: What the fuck is that.

She says, dazed.

ROSE: Alprazolam
VRISKA: I’m not taking medic8on if I don’t know what it does.
ROSE: It’s going to stop you from feeling like this.

Vriska eyes Rose suspiciously.

VRISKA: You’re trying to turn me into an addict.
ROSE: Oh you have no idea. I used to steal these from my mother’s medicine cabinet, going off of them was complete hell. I didn’t even go cold turkey, either. But you have to take them for a while, this is just one.

Vriska takes the pill.

VRISKA: It’s not working.
ROSE: Give it a minute.

Terezi marches out and offers Vriska water and a toothbrush. Vriska obliges, spitting back into the cup. Terezi shakes her head.

TEREZI: YOU D1SGUST M3
VRISKA: Pfft, go cry a8out it.

Vriska says, her breathing starting to finally slow. She takes her spit cup and dumps it out in the bathroom.

TEREZI: 3V3RYTH1NG 1 DO FOR YOU 1S W4ST3D

Vriska lets the water run over her face for a while before coming back. She removes her bra out from under her shirt and drops it on the floor. Terezi throws it at Karkat, who by now is asleep. Vriska plops down beside Terezi, leaning on her. Terezi, reluctantly, leans back.

VRISKA: Fuck you, Rose. You should have let me suffer.
ROSE: And why is that?
VRISKA: Because it’s perfect.
ROSE: You do realize there’s a spectrum between numbing yourself to the point of oblivion and being overtaken by your own insurmountable suffering.
VRISKA: I’ve yet to 8e convinced.
ROSE: Well perhaps we can work on that.
DAVE: (oh shit vriska watch out shes gonna make you one of her clients)

Vriska waves him off. Closing her eyes.

ROSE: My office is always open. I think it would serve you well.
VRISKA: I think......
ROSE: You do?
VRISKA: Yeeeeeeeep.
ROSE: Curious. Sounds like something we’ll have to discuss in therapy.

Vriska chuckles, and soon, against all odds, they all nod off to sleep.

Chapter 33: Devil's In the House of The Rising Sun

Summary:

Hello! Happy 4/13, Everyone! I'll be doing Q and A on my tumblr (same as my ao3) so if you want a question answered, drop it in the comments! I'll be sticking to one per person. Oh also, check out chapter 1! natbot gave me some new fanart and it is so awesome!

Doc Scratch’s knuckles have always been white , so the tension in his fingers is displayed in their motion, tensing and untensing into fists with his palms on the keyboard. They give away the lie that Doc Scratch, and men like him, enjoy a good challenge. They don’t.

Nevertheless, Doc scratch has never been outdone before, although some might argue that was only a win by default. His only worthy challenger had forfeited, choosing to make a statement rather than play by the rules. No heir apparent has arrived since, despite several anointings. Cowardice? Maybe. But apprehension and evasion was understandable when trying and failing was met with more contempt than just letting the whole thing rot.

So really, it was better to just let this place accumulate mildew than deal with a bunch of petulant children whining about the open windows.

Or, that was the logic. The reality is that there were many attempts to beat Scratch. None had succeeded, though, all for the same reason: they never played by the rules. He had given his players so many chances, loosened the standards for them so many times, but it was never enough. Glitching objects, missing files, unscripted dialogue. The only way anyone could think to beat him was to change the shape of paradox space and everyone in it, but to what end? Even the most casual gamer knows that modding removes achievements. Real winners never cheat.

The thing is, if you play your cards just right, you don’t need to.

TC: IT’S NOT MY FAULT.

Scratch’s hands stop, clenched and almost shaking as he watches Gamzee clutching his injury, heaving. What had become of his disciple? It didn’t take much to tear him from piety, did it? What a waste. Gamzee had never acted like this before, and that alone is almost enough for Scratch to call foul. Not yet. It’s not wrong enough. Gamzee’s adaptable, but he’s never done well with the retcons. This is especially bad, but he’s come back from worse. Doc scratch doubts a fridge is in his near future. Gamzee still has options.

Tell me you are aware of what the problem is.

Prove to me you aren’t a complete moron. He thinks, but does not say. So I don’t have to call the whole thing off.

TC: she stole the motherfucking melodies from me.

Good.

And Vriska. You left Vriska alive, and worse, exonerated.

TC: I’VE BEEN FACED WITH SHIT NO MOTHERFUCKER COULD HAVE PREPARED ME FOR.

Which you reacted to so poorly I almost considered sabotage.

Do you not seek salvation?

TC: of course i do.

Then control yourself. You’d do well to learn from your human cofaiths. Their devoted have temperance, or least enough dignity to cover up their sin.

Gamzee bangs his head back on the wall of the hallway. The twice barbed jab stinging more than his flesh wound.

You are going to have to deal with Equius soon.

Gamzee closes his eyes, a soft growl escaping him. Low, puttering.

Is that something you can do?

Letting Equius starve is an option, but it’s a cop out, and a somewhat risky one at that. Equius was the troll he knew the least. Maddening, Equius was a part of him after all. How did his opponent, a human with nothing in common with the troll, know more about the blueblood than he did? Scratch groped within himself for some semblance of understanding. What traits did they even have in common? Poise maybe. Although Equius lacked it when it counted. Scratch struggled even to imagine the desire to submit. Gaze, perhaps. They shared a vision. Both of the world and of its inhabitants. The softness of skin, the harshness of a whip. The perspective is different, but the eyes linger in the same places.

He looks at Gamzee. She has something up her sleeve doesn’t she? Fine. So does he.

TC: I
TC: ...
TC: yes.

Chapter 34: The Hammer and The Anvil

Notes:

KARKAT: ALSO, I DID LIKE HOW YOU HANDLED THE SEX SCENES.
KARKAT: YOU LOCKED IN ON SOME CLASSIC NOXIOUS BLACKROM TROPES THAT WERE ALL THE RAGE ON ALTERNIA, AND THEN UNFORTUNATELY SWEPT UNDER THE RUG BY EARTH C'S IDEOLOGICALLY WHITEWASHED POST-CASTE SOCIETY.
KARKAT: NASTY SHIT WITHOUT THE CULTURAL CONTEXT, BUT A CRITICAL THREAD IN THE GRAND TAPESTRY OF LOVE AND HATE.
KARKAT: THEY ALL MADE ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF, AND I RESPECT THAT.
- Homestuck: Beyond Canon (Page 764)

Edit: I forgot to shout out about my beta! Thanks to Madam_Melon_Meow for helping me with this chapter!

 

6/23/2025 update coming soon guys, super promise. I've been experiencing writers block due to some unfortunate circumstances that made it pretty much impossible to write this story. finally coming out of it again, though, so expect to see more from me soon!

CW: Abuse, Dubcon, Drug Use (alkyl nitrite), Sadism and Masochism, Orgasm Denial, Strangulation, Body Dysmorphia

Equius can tell by the sound of Gamzee’s gait that he’s injured, but Equius keeps his eyes cast to the floor. Vriska is probably the only person capable of doing this much damage. He secretly hopes it was her, anyone but Nepeta. Besides, Gamzee can’t kill Vriska, and a stalemate is probably the best outcome for everyone. That is, if Gamzee lives.

...

Should he?

The Highblood's death would guarantee Nepeta’s safety. It had occurred to him to escape while Gamzee was gone, to run away with her somehow, but he had decided against it. There was nowhere to go. They can’t hide forever, and it’s not the sort of life Equius can put on his moirail even if they could. Equius could kill Gamzee, but he won’t, and they both know it.

Equius can feel the Highblood glowering at him. Then, he crouches behind Equius and silently unwinds the bowstring from his hands. It’s loosely wound; the point wasn't to keep him contained; it was a tripwire. Gamzee places the bow beside them and glares at Equius again. There isn’t a single ambient noise in that room. Equius can’t help but search for his gaze; their eyes meet, and Gamzee slams Equius’s head into the floor.

GAMZEE: THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
GAMZEE: You did this to me.

The high blood hisses in his ear. Equius is pressed against the wall, back to it; it made him feel small for the first time in his life. There was only an inch or two height difference between the two now, not like when they were children and Equius towered over him.

Gamzee’s hand pauses as it starts to loop under his shirt. Equius is as still as a statue, as if one wrong move will make the Highblood reconsider and he’ll lose interest, sweeping him aside like everyone else. Gamzee traces Equius’s back muscle, then slips Equius’s shirt over his head, which almost gets caught on his intact horn. The Highblood starts fully stripping him, and Equius shivers as each barrier between them disappears like sugar in water. That’s all Equius wants to do: dissolve into the Highblood, to be completely subsumed by him.

Then Equius, jaw clenched, feels the Highblood’s hand on his rear, feels it slip between his legs, and feels it not find what it’s looking for. Equius tenses. He should have at least given a warning. Normally, he was proud of his anatomy, as he was, to put it euphemistically, “created in the image of the art he venerated.” He was the biggest troll he knew, including those he’d seen in nonfiction erotica, but he had no coital opening. A fine situation for a top, but he’s not one. Beyond show and tell, this was a hindrance, and the Highblood is not pleased.

GAMZEE: WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS!?

The Highblood turns Equius around to face him, and the Highblood’s expression is so disgusted that Equius’s stomach drops. Equius splutters. He should have said something. Why didn’t he say something?

EQUIUS: D --> I prepared
EQUIUS: D --> It won’t cause any problems
EQUIUS: D --> I promise
GAMZEE: why?/

The Highblood’s voice drips with contempt. No, no, no. He’s made things worse now, but foolishly keeps trying to talk his way out of it.

EQUIUS: D --> I wasn’t e%pecting anything of you Higb100d
EQUIUS: D --> It’s just that on the minuscule chance we ended up here, I didn’t want there to be an issue-

The Highblood strikes him, and for the first time, Equius is not ready for it. His body still reacts with arousal, but that hits him a moment after the shock, setting him off kilter even more.

GAMZEE: YOU MOTHERFUCKING LIED TO ME!?
EQUIUS: D --> No
EQUIUS: D --> I-

He had, hadn’t he? No, he had never had sex. No had never even come before, but oh god, had he tried. For years, practically every day. There wasn’t a solution for him that was safe or effective, so he had eventually given up, but not before he had exhausted every possible option. Not before he had injured himself (several times and once severely) trying. Why were they even having this conversation? Why were they even considering that he would pass as some sort of vestal. The thought is completely ridiculous, Virgin or not, he would never pass as submissive, let alone an ingenue. They both deserve to feel stupid and delusional for that idea.

His vision swims, and the room starts to turn purple.

Equius’s opinion of his own body up until this point had been so positive it bordered on autoerotic narcissism, so when the shame hits him, it’s like falling out of a 100-story building. His head goes below water, and he sinks like a rock. Every awful word everyone had ever said about his appearance, every negative comment from Karkat, Vriska, and even Nepeta, all echo in his mind like a swarm of flies. He had dismissed most of them as playful or at least unserious, but did they mean it? Is that why no one wanted him? If someone were to see any of Equius’s conversations with the Highblood, would they pity the Highblood? Should they? Was he so disgusting that the ardent contrition itself was a form of insubordination? Maybe that’s what the Highblood was here to do, dispose of him like-

Make it stop. Please make it stop. This was not the kind of pain he could handle. It was the only kind of pain he couldn’t handle. He can’t see anything now, so he begs.

EQUIUS: D --> Please Highb100d, I am so sorry
EQUIUS: D --> For everything I’ve done to you

Equius could feel his own inferiority radiating off of him like a poisonous miasma.

EQUIUS: D --> I just wanted you to help me

There’s a bitter silence as Equius looks at the ceiling, carefully mapping out each tile as the color slowly fades. He notices the feeling slowly ebbing, too, and tries to breathe.

Finally, he forces himself to read the Highblood’s face once again. His eyes are half-lidded, and hungry. In them, Equius finds relief, finds vindication. Why was he even questioning this? If the Highblood truly wanted to discard him, he would have sniped him from across the hallway, not seduced and ritualistically maimed him. This went beyond rage, beyond revenge, and beyond pure bloodlust. The Highblood wanted to conquer him.

The despair evaporates instantly. A rush of heat spreads through him, and whatever arousal had been abated by his fear and shame rushes into him like a tidal wave. The Highblood wraps his hand around his throat. He digs his nails in, dragging his hand over Equius’s collarbone, leaving a bright blue line down his injured chest and past his stomach. Equius gasps as the Highblood strokes his cock and-

Did he just come?

There’s blue on his stomach and chest now, but Gamzee’s not looking at him differently. They make eye contact, and Gamzee laughs, shaking his head.

GAMZEE: you didn’t.
GAMZEE: YOU’RE REALLY BRAND NEW ENOUGH FOR ME TO HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT?

He’s loud, but not angry now. If anything, he looks happy. Good. Thank god. He completes the inky trail down Equius’s body and cups his hands on the back of Equius’s thighs. The Highblood positions himself up against Equius’s rear, and Equius can feel the Highblood ’s bulge starting to try and enter him. Equius tightens reflexively. The Highblood tries again. No luck.

GAMZEE: you need to chill, motherfucker.

For a moment, Equius could almost believe that Gamzee was back to his old self. There’s a harshness, though. He’s annoyed.

EQUIUS: D --> I apologize, I am trying to rela%, but considering the circumstances it is
EQUIUS: D --> Difficult
GAMZEE: TRYING ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH, YOU NEED TO DO IT.

The Highblood grips his thighs harder, pulling Equius towards him.

GAMZEE: don’t tell me you’re getting nervous now.

Equius bites his lip.

EQUIUS: D --> No

Gamzee rolls his eyes, pressing his fingers on Equius’s taint. A shiver runs up his back. He can feel himself tighten like a vice.
EQUIUS: D --> Oh god, I am just not used
to-
GAMZEE: STOP TALKING.

 

Gamzee pulls a small bottle from his Sylladex and waves it in front of Equius, who looks confused.

GAMZEE: smell it.
GAMZEE: AND DON’T BE FUCKING FEEBLE ABOUT THAT SHIT.

Equius obliges, unsure of why exactly the Highblood wanted this from him. He inhales deeply and sharply, expecting it to be some sort of pheromone, but it’s not. It’s chemical, like turpentine or a very cheap perfu-

EQUIUS: D --> Oh

The headrush is so intense that he falls backwards and hits his head on the floor. Not hard. Or, if it was hard, he couldn’t tell. The Highblood puts the cap back on the bottle and, once again, moves between his legs. This time, there is no resistance. At all. It goes down to the hilt on the first try.

Equius cries out in pleasure. It’s such an odd feeling. A filling, a pressing, a blurring of the edges between them. More than just blurring. They’re one now. The highblood’s bulge flicks up, and the resulting spark of pleasure is so intense it elicits an involuntary gasp or cry. Equius gives up what little control he has left. He’s at his most pathetic, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. This is what he had been craving, been yearning for, all this time

EQUIUS: D --> Yes. Highblood-
EQUIUS: D --> Please
EQUIUS: D --> Please don’t hold back
EQUIUS: D --> I can take anything you give me
EQUIUS: D --> And if I can’t, then you should break me for it
EQUIUS: D --> Let it be punishment for my insolence
EQUIUS: D --> Every scrape is a-

His voice breaks into a moan, he can’t speak coherently. The Highblood is pushing his horns back and using it is leverage to fuck him harder.

EQUIUS: D --> Ah-

The Highblood leans down, pressing their chests together as he kisses Equius’s neck. Then bites down. Equius’s eyes roll up and flutter as his mouth opens.

GAMZEE: well that’s good, motherfucker, because you’ve got a lot to answer for.

The Highblood continues to mark him. Equius’s cock, rubbing between the two of them, is wet. He can feel the precome spilling out.

GAMZEE: THEY’RE ALL GOING TO KNOW WHAT I DID TO YOU.

Equius can feel the Highblood smirk into his neck. Equius imagines it, being dragged out in front of them. The reactions he’d want the most. Astonished, aghast murmurs as he struggles to explain himself. What was there to explain?

EQUIUS: D --> I-
GAMZEE: you want that?

Equius groans desperately.

EQUIUS: D --> Yes

He’s panting so hard he feels lightheaded. The Highblood pulls back for a moment, and Equius turns his head to watch him grasp the bow. Equius brings out his wrists. The Highblood laughs.

GAMZEE: HOLD YOUR HEAD UP.

Equius pauses, then does as he is told. The Highblood slowly wraps the string around his neck. Equius is sure to set his head down gently; whatever drug the Highblood had given him was starting to wear off, meaning he was starting to tighten up again. The Highblood grunts in response, stopping for a moment, brows furrowed and mouth slightly open. He takes a deep breath, then another. Equius can feel Gamzee’s bulge twitching and then stiffen inside of him. Then, the Highblood pulls out. His cock dripped onto Equius. There’s maybe a cup's worth between what’s covering his stomach and what’s between his legs. Equius watches him as he inhales deeply, and Equius doesn’t move a muscle, his hands limp beside his face. He’s trying not to move harder than he’s ever tried anything in his life, now flushed almost as blue as his bruises. The Highblood doesn’t even look at him.

EQUIUS: D --> Please
EQUIUS: D --> Please

He can hear the Highblood start to calm down, pants turning to a deep growl. Then, the Highblood forces himself back in just as he starts pulling the string. Equius almost loses control; without the drugs, Equius can’t relax enough for it not to hurt. That’s fine, though, he wants to be hurt. The lack of oxygen is blissful, that perfect pressure on the sides of his face and in his ears. The dizziness, the heat building inside of him. It’s so good. It’s so good. Oh god, he isn’t going to survive this. How could he ever be expected to survive this? His voice breaks into a desperate cry.

EQUIUS: D --> High-

And then Gamzee stops thrusting. The bow loosens. Equius can feel the oxygen rush back into him again. For a moment, he’s in denial as he gasps and the pressure leaves him.
...

So that was it? He was done? After this, after all of this, had Gamzee not planned to kill him after all? Was his only goal to show Equius what he was capable of, and now that Equius had proven his loyalty and satisfied him, his reward was not only release, but forgiveness?

Equius closes his eyes, it’s perfect. He’s perfect. How could Equius have ever doubted him?

EQUIUS: D --> Thank you
EQUIUS: D --> Thank you Highb100d
EQUIUS: D --> For your mercy

Equius looks up. The Highblood is smirking so hard it’s practically a grin. And then it dawns on Equius just how uncomfortable he is. There’s just enough pressure on Equius’s prostate that he can’t calm down. Just when he starts to feel like he can make peace with the tension, the Highblood ’s bulge licks forward, and it’s somehow even more unbearable. Equius’s fingers clench and unclench in desperation as he pants helplessly. It aches, and he isn’t allowed to move. He starts to panic. He breaks the silence with a whimper, and the Highblood laughs at him.

GAMZEE: i don’t know why in the motherfuck you would-
GAMZEE: EVER THINK I HAD ROOM FOR MOTHERFUCKIN MERCY.

The Highblood starts pulling the string, hard. So hard that Equius can feel it cut his throat, but he can’t think about anything other than how to get the Highblood to keep pressing up. Just press a little more. Please. Please, more. He knows the Highblood wants something from him. He wants, so badly, for the Highblood to just say it, because he’ll give anything. Then, it dawns on him.

TC: iF i CoUlD mAkE yOu SmIlE iT'd Be ThE bEsT fUcKiN mIrAcLe I eVeR dId PaRt Of.

He had known. This entire time. How could Equius have been so blind? Here he was thinking that the Highblood was an idiot, that he had no idea what Equius had wanted and why. No. It was Equius who was the fool all along. The Highblood had been toying with him everyday for years. It was all an elaborate ruse. And here he was, letting Equius in on the joke. And Equius smiles, because he finally gets it.
A few things happen then. The first is that the Highblood’s bulge curls in on itself, sending a prickling sensation up Equius’s spine. Then, it happens. A feeling starts between his legs and fills his entire body. It’s indescribable. Pure relief and euphoria spread through him like wildfire. It’s as if all the pleasure he’s ever felt was distilled into a single moment, so intense he can’t even comprehend it, good he can’t control a single muscle in his body as it rips through him. Equius’s smile morphs into an open-mouthed gasp. His back arches, his head jerks back and-

Notes:

“The urge towards love, pushed to its limit, is an urge towards death"
- French Philosopher and Pervert, Georges Bataille

Chapter 35: Deusex Machina

Notes:

alas i cannot deny it anymore. i was hit...by the AO3 curse. the past year has been wild. this fanfic and the response to it has been a real positive impact on my life, so i appreciate you all for that!

content warning: same as prev chapter.

Gamzee grips both halves of the bow, shaking with rage. The broken string hangs loosely off each end of of the bow. Equius Zahhak is unconsious, but not dead.

The sheer fucking stupidity of what Gamzee has just done hits him like a ton of bricks. He had made the same mistake twice in a row. It should have been so easy to kill Equius. He was seconds away from doing it too, although it was hard to tell with so much color on both of them. Gamzee puts a gentle hand to Equius’s throat, and feels the place where his neck was cut by the string. His fingers linger there for a moment, squeezing and feeling Equius’s faint pulse, watching the rise and fall of his chest, both soft and intensely labored. It’s not a deep abrasion. It might scar, but he won’t bleed out.

Fuck.

Gamzee stands up slowly and walks to the bathroom.

He’d always been apathetic about bathing when he was eating sopor, but sobriety had a way of bringing the unpleasant sensation of griminess to the front of his mind. He was soaked in his own blood, in the blood of others, in sweat, and in old greasepaint. He runs the water hot and steps in, covering himself in suds. Even with all its components, the water is purple; what washes from him now is indistinguishable from what pumps through his veins.

After a final rinse, he turns off the water and looks in the mirror. The greasepaint is still there, albeit smudged. That doesn’t bother him. It’s the last remnant of his faith as it existed before it was shattered. He doesn’t wash it off.

He towels himself dry, not bothering to put his soiled clothes back on, and walks back to the mess he’s made. Equius is waking up, albeit slowly. Gamzee stands in the shadows and watches the blueblood sit up in the reflection in the bathroom mirror. Equius slowly raises a hand to his neck, touching the wound gingerly, then looks between his legs. He inhales sharply, then lies back down again, panting rapidly.

EQUIUS: D --> Highb100d

Equius murmurs. His tone is hoarse, desperate.

EQUIUS: D --> Please, highb100d
Equius lets out a shaky sigh.

EQUIUS: D --> Come back

Gamzee snorts, and steps into Equius’s field of view. Equius shudders. Gamzee laughs to himself.

GAMZEE: you wouldn’t know what’s was good for you if it hit you in the motherfucking face.

Gamzee saunters over to him, lifting his chin so Equius is looking at him, kneeling.

EQUIUS: D --> Then do it, highb100d
EQUIUS: D --> Hit me

Gamzee cups his hand underneath Equius’s jaw.

Gamzee smirks.

GAMZEE: NO.

...

The scene changes. You, dear reader, are now looking at a study that you recognize. However, instead of its typical orange resident, someone new types at a keyboard. A brown eyed girl with cherry nails and lips to match. You can see the next line as she writes it.

EQUIUS: D --> Then please just, let me stay

EQUIUS: D --> I'll earn it
EQUIUS: D --> I promise

Gamzee’s eyes narrow as he looks over Equius’s face, searching for a sign of his inevitable betrayal. All he finds is the same look as before. Eyes desperate and pleading, mouth half open with his tongue touching his bottom lip.

GAMZEE: deal.

Suddenly, she hears something.

Thump thump thump.

She freezes, hand still on the shift key, then slowly closes the span tag.

Thump thump thump thump thump.

It’s coming from down the hallway. Her eyes widen with recognition, then her lips curl in a determined smirk.

For now. Gamzee thinks.

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP! CLANG! CLANG CLANG CLANG!

Metal against wood, hinges cling to their screws. Splinters crack and start flying almost as fast as her hands on the keyboard.

And with that,

WHAM! Not a second too soon, the door hits the ground the just she finishes the final line.

Gamzee shoves his cock into Equius’s mouth.

A scream pierces through the air, and two knees (one metal, one bone) hit the floor.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was……………………………………………………. Caliborn.

Notes:

"this chapter is short" you may say. well counterpoint i have to format this all by hand and it took me 5ever thank you for your patience <3

Chapter 36: AUTHOR: CONTEMPLATE YOUR LIFE CHOICES

Notes:

Okay so I was gone once again, but it was because of good things this time. I was in Europe and then came back to do a fuck ton of fly fishing. I was able to get 1 chapter out while I was on vacation because I was meeting up with an IRL friend who was also into Homestuck. Now back to business as per usual. I am currently writing a few chapters ahead of the one I'm posting, but I've updated my outline with a play-by-play of the rest of act one that I think doesn't suck. Super proud of what's coming up, yall have a lot to look forward to.

Update 7/28/25: Alright, no more guest accounts are allowed to comment. I didn't want to have to do this, and unfortunately, it's a case of one bad actor ruining it for everyone. I don't want to have to deal with bots anymore. :/

CALIBORN: YOu RuINED MY STORY YOu BITCH!

He points his bony little finger at me. He looks like a green Gollum, and he talks like Cartman sans the lisp. I’ve been waffling back and fourth on whether or not I like him. It depends on the day and my mood. Sometimes I’ll read John ruins a wedding and decide he’s funny, that his misogyny is too pathetic to be offended by, and that I’m charmed by him. I convince myself that he can change, and that I should invite him into the fold. I can keep him around to toy with until he gets his shit together. It'd be funny.

Then, I think about the way that he talks to Calliope. I imagine what it must feel like to be her. To be subsumed by such a hateful person. I get distracted by my own overwhelming sense of doom. The waves of injustice crashing over the flesh and blood universe I write to escape from. His voice starts sounding familiar. I imagine him saying, "your body, my choice," and suddenly it's not funny anymore.

But like, that’s stupid, right? It's a bad comparison. Caliborn is a joke character who impacts the plot because this is Homestuck we're talking about. He’s not “we own your bodies” sexist, he’s “mojo dojo casa house” sexist. “Ew, cooties” sexist. I’m not a middle schooler; that stuff no longer bothers me. I really can’t afford to be that sensitive, even if I know I am. I've got real shit to work through. Calliborn can switch his strife specibus to pepper spray and haul up in whatever closet he wants. Not my issue.

I exhale, a smirk playing at my lips.

Hi, Caliborn. What happened to your “U?” you should have it by now if you’ve got the peg leg.

CALIBORN: I AM NOT HERE TO TALK ABOuT LETTERS. I AM HERE TO TALK ABOuT HOW YOu DO NOT DESERVE TO LIVE. YOu DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRITE THESE CHARACTERS. YOUR FEMININE DEGENERACY GETS IN THE WAY. THIS JUST CONFIRMS IT. NOBODY KNOWS THIS STORY BETTER THAN ME. NOBODY.
CALIBORN: ALSO, DO NOT SAY HI TO ME.
CALIBORN: HOW DARE YOu FILL MY STORY WITH ALL SORTS OF- uGH. BARF. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO SAY IT.
CALIBORN: THIS IS THE WORST THING A WOMAN HAS EVER DONE TO ME BESIDES EXIST.
CALIBORN: HOW COuLD YOu PRETEND TO MAKE A GOOD STORY AND RuIN IT WITH DISGuSTING SMUT.

I raise my brow. This is the closest Caliborn will come to admitting he likes my writing. I’m shocked. That is, until I realize I’m writing him, too. I just complimented myself. Damnit.

Weird. I’d think you’d love “my version” of Gamzee. I thought if anyone would appreciate a violent patriarch, it would be you. -

I cut myself off. The truth is that writing Gamzee is a battle now. Whatever ability I had to channel him is fading fast, but that’s not somehting I’m stupid enough to tell him about. I don’t have time to stutter, though, because he interjects.

CALIBORN: NO. THIS VERSION OF GAMZEE IS OBSESSED WITH SEX AND IT’S WEIRD. CANON GAMZEE WOULD NEVER DO THIS.

...
Pfft.

CALIBORN: FUCK YOu. YOuR STORY IS BAD. IT’S JuST PEOPLE TALKING WITH A LITTLE BIT OF MuRDER. MOSTLY DONE BY WOMEN. WHICH DOESN’T COuNT BY THE WAY. AND YOu DESTROYED MY PRECIOuS OTP WITH THAT HORRIBLE CAT GIRL.
It isn’t even finished yet, dude, chill. You have no clue what the final fleet is going to look like.
CALIBORN: YOu DON’T GET TO FINISH IT, DELETE IT NOW OR I’LL KILL YOu.

Is he planning to attack? I finger the penknife next to my notepad, which has about a quarter of the pages torn out. Most of them are in the trashcan next to my leg. My strife specibus is technically swordkind; I fought with an épée de cour when I was younger. I was good at it, but I dropped fencing in college It’s been almost a decade since I last picked it up. I drop habits a lot. Writing is one of the few things I haven’t given up on.

Alright. Hate to break it to you, because I know you’re used to pushing people around and getting your way, but this place is under new management, and I don’t negotiate with terrorists.
CALIBORN: AGAIN?
I roll my eyes. Yes! Everyone left because they were sick of your bullshit! They can’t stand this place anymore and I don’t blame them one bit, because you make everything miserable. Now, because of you, no one will touch canon. Except me. You're welcome.
CALIBORN: uGH.
Caliborn stamps his foot, it hits the ground with another loud “CLANG”
CALIBORN: NO! NO NO NO! I AM NOT GOING TO LET MY PRECIOuS STORY GET TAKEN OVER BY SOME LICENCOuS-
Oh, big words!

This sets Caliborn off, blood rushes into his face, and he screams at me. He’s so loud and pissed that I can’t even make out which slurs he’s hurling my way. I can do is stop him from moving, and he flies into an even bigger rage when he realizes I’ve restrained him.

CALIBORN: YOu THINK THIS IS GOING TO STOP ME!? LISTEN DuMB WHORE, I AM GOING TO COME TO YOuR HOuSE AND KILL YOu BECAUSE YOu WROTE A STORY I DIDN’T LIKE. OR EVEN BETTER I’LL GET YOuR READERS TO DO IT FOR ME. THEY ALL HATE YOu FOR WHAT YOu’VE DONE. ISN’T THAT RIGHT!? LOOK READERS. READERS DO YOu HEAR ME? SHE HATES YOu. SHE HATES YOu JuST LIKE HuSSIE DOES. GO FIND HER AND KILL HER. I KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES. I’VE GOT THE DOSSIER RIGHT HERE.
CALIBORN: ...
CALIBORN: WHAT HAVE YOu DONE?
I stopped you.

I grin. Then frown. I'm strapped into the "funny/scary" Tower of Terror yet again, suddenly aware of the thousands of eyes watching me right now. I mean, he’s right, isn’t he? I just published porn on the internet. A thing that is famously forever. This could fuck me over. This could ruin my life. Panic washes over me as my hand shakes. My fingerprints are all over my pages, and I hadn’t considered there might be a very real cost. What is my world going to look like in three years? Is what I'm doing even going to be legal? Fuck. Should I erase everything while I still have the chance?

Fuck that. I'm not throwing away another half-finished story. I promised myself then that this time, I was going to stick it out. I'm not going to break that promise. This means the world to me. I'm not giving it up. If I'm going down, I'm going down swinging.

Then, I notice something off with Caliborn's god tier. I’ve bought enough cheap dresses to know bad stitching when I see it, and when I look at his grimace closer, I can see yellowed white peeking out from underneath the gold on his tooth. Caliborn looks at me, and falters. Wait...-

CALIBORN: I KILLED MY SISTER AND I AM GOING TO KILL YOu TOO.
No, you didn’t.

Caliborn falters.
You didn’t kill calliope.
Caliborn looks at me sideways.
CALIBORN: YES I DID.
No. You didn’t.
Caliborn searches my face, and I search his. Neither of us finds any sort of explanation. He furrows his brow.

CALIBORN: YES.
No.
CALIBORN: YES.
No.
CALIBORN: YES.
No.
CALIBORN: YES.
No.
CALIBORN: YES.
No.
CALIBORN: YES.
No.
CALIBORN: YES.
Give me your leg.
CALIBORN: WHAT?
Your golden leg. Give it here.

Caliborn eyes me suspiciously and holds out his leg. I get on my knees and grab it.

Pull.

Caliborn, doesn't know what to think of the fact that I'm kneeling in front of him. He opens his mouth to half-heartedly mock me for it, but closes it, because knows that I would never do it in front of any other part of Lord English. I would be either too scared or too proud. I don't feel this way about him, and that's an insult. I inject him with one of my memories. My dad is helping me take off my ski boot. He recoils, not knowing what to make of it. It's complicated in a way he isn't used to.

CALIBORN: You smell weird.
It’s L'Interdit. Pull your leg up.

Reluctantly, Caliborn pulls his leg up, then watches in horror as his clawed foot slips out of its metal shell. I stand up and hand it over. He looks at it in horror. It takes him a moment to gain his bearings. Then, he screams at me, backing away.

CALIBORN: OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD YOu’VE RUINED EVERYTHING. IT’S ALL ROTTEN NOW. LIKE YOU. YOu ARE A ROTTEN WOMAN.
...
You know what?
CALIBORN: WHAT?
Touché.

Chapter 37: Mother's Core

Notes:

So i have good news and bad news.

Bad news: i can't tell you about the good news
Good news: i can't tell you because it's very exciting
Bad news: these exciting things might involve me taking down this fic.
Good news: is that if that happens, it's because it will be posted somewhere else. Somewhere redacted. Somewhere...adapted? Into a visual format? Onto a different website?? Perhaps. We'll see. Either way this fic will live.

Without revealing a ton of stuff in case this all falls through and I look like a moron, engagement (kudos, comments, and recommendations within fan communities, etc) is incredibly helpful to me, especially right now. It gives me a chance to get noticed and potentially scouted for opportunities. What was once an adolescent pipe dream may is now be tangible in a way I could never have anticipated. I don't want to jinx it. I'm just hopeful. I'm so fucking hopeful.

Rose scribbles on the clipboard she’s been using to map any uncharted corridors. It was difficult. Both seers were extremely confident that they understood the layout of the meteor... at first. They had both gotten lost on day one. Day two Dave had tried to alchemize food and had noticed that there was an extra door into one of the bathrooms. Day three and Nepeta had found an air vent that that lead to a room with no doors. Only four walls. By day 5, things had started to "stabilize", and by day 10 Kanaya finally felt comfortable enough to hatch the matriorb. Not alone, though. She’s glad she didn’t even have to ask Rose to come with her. Kanaya looks around cautiously, hugging the matriorb to her chest.

KANAYA: So Im Not Exactly Sure Where To Put It
KANAYA: In Fact
KANAYA: I Am Not Sure How Any Of This “Motherhood” Jobs Works At All And As I Am As The Humans Say
KANAYA: Winging It
ROSE: From what I’ve heard, that’s pretty typical.

Kanaya and Rose descend down the steps together, before Kanaya pauses, eyeing a strange circular mark. The two of them make eye contact, and Kanaya sits kneeling down in front of it, her fingers tracing down the metal slit cleaving the circle in half. This was it, she can feel it.

KANAYA: If I Am Being Completely Honest
KANAYA: This Is An Unbelievable Amount Of Pressure And I Am Starting To Become Increasingly Aware Of Its Ability To Crush Me Under Its Weight

She sighs.

KANAYA: I Do Appreciate You Helping Me With All Of This
KANAYA: It Is A Difficult Task In Good Company And An Impossible Task Alone
KANAYA: I Think We Should Put It In One Of The Labs That Doesn’t Have So Many Creations In It Already
KANAYA: I Cant Be Sure
KANAYA: Worse Yet
KANAYA: I Dont Have Skaia To Guide Me
ROSE: If the Matriorb is safe at this point I don’t think it is in any danger at the moment. At least, that’s the conclusion my abilities are guiding me towards.

Kanaya breathes a sigh of relief, feeling the urge to cry wash over her. She lets it, allowing Rose to touch her back. Her heart flutters.

ROSE: The integrity of your makeup is genuinely astounding.
KANAYA: I Have A Very Good Setting Spray.

Kanaya lets out a shaky breath.

KANAYA: It Is My Last Memory Of My Mother
KANAYA: She Gave This To Me Before She Died So That I Could Allow Our Species To Survive
KANAYA: I Pulled it From Her
KANAYA: She Gave Up So Much For Me I
KANAYA: It’s So Difficult For Me To Know It Is On Me To Forge That Legacy
ROSE: Forge a legacy.
ROSE: I like that.
ROSE: It reminds me of the Tikkun Olam

Kanaya cocks her head to the side.

KANAYA: I Am Not Sure I Understand
ROSE: Sorry, I should explain. It’s a phrase from my religion. It roughly means “to repair the world”. My mother took it very seriously. I still remember going to protests with her before our relationship started to deteriorate. She’d lift me up over her shoulders so I could see everyone’s signs, and the other protesters used to hand me things. I’ve still got a rainbow “Say No To the Bush Agenda” pin from 2003. It’s in my sylladex, look:

Rose takes it out and hands it to Kanaya. It was a metal pin, with a paper overlay covered in plastic. It wasn’t perfectly printed; the bottom text saying “to the bush aganda” was almost too small to read and even then was threatening to wrap around the crimped edge.

KANAYA: What Is A Bush Agenda
KANAYA: Does It Have To Do With Plants
KANAYA: Or Is This Some Sort Of Euphemism I’m Not Understanding
ROSE: No, god no. I endorse any lowercase bush agenda. Plants or otherwise.
ROSE: Bush is the also the name of one of our elected leaders.
ROSE: Former leaders. He was replaced. A president can only stay in office for 8 years.
KANAYA: Who Killed Him
KANAYA: Was It Obama
KANAYA: Ive Heard About Obama

Kanaya stands up straight, feeling confident. Dave had told her all about Obama. Unfortunately, Rose covers her mouth, clearly trying not to laugh.

ROSE: Well.
ROSE: I-
ROSE: I apologize, I’m not laughing at you.

Kanaya doesn’t fully believe that, but appreciates the reassurance even if it’s performative.

ROSE: I’m just enjoying the image. It’s inaugeration day. An audience of thousands stands in wait, with tens millions more watching via live broadcast television. Obama, in front of his wife and children, lays down his hand to the bible with his other hand raised. George is opposite to him, saying each line to Obama, which he repeats proudly.
ROSE: “I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear, that I will execute the office of the United States faithfully, and will - to the best of my ability - preserve protect and defend the consitution of the United States. So help me god.”
ROSE: And then Obama pulls out a gun.
KANAYA: That’s How It Worked On Alterina.

Rose looks at her for a moment frowning, then takes Kanaya’s hand in hers.

ROSE: I want to live in a world where you find my jokes as absurd as I do.

And then Rose kisses her.

Kanaya’s heart leaps into her chest and she makes an involuntary, suprised peep. Rose’s lips are so soft, and the matte lipstick she wears smells and tastes like dark cherries. Kanaya reaches out and grabs her hand, and Rose squeezes it. Rose knows just how to kiss her. It’s like they’ve been together for an eternity.

The two of them pull apart and Rose reaches up to adjust Kanaya’s lipstick, coaxing the smudge it back into her lipline. The two of them walk down until they eventually find one of the labs. It is, thankfully, untouched. Kanaya stands in front of it, slowly walking to the center of the room.

KANAYA: What Now
ROSE: Try feeling the ground between the largest tubes.

She does so, and her fingers catch on a small key hole.

KANAYA: Oh

Kanaya takes the same key she used to unlock her chastity modus, and fits it into the keyhole on the ground. It turns, and beneath her a trap door opens up, revealing a shallow, rectangular hole in the ground. The hole is lined with a soft flesh-like substance, warm and pulsing at her touch. Kanaya, breath shaking, removes the matriorb from her pouch and places it into that hole. It envelops the matriorb as Kanaya gasps, shaking with anxiety.

KANAYA: I Am Afraid I Did Something Wrong
ROSE: On the contrary, it’s working.

Kanaya grips both sides of the hole as it churns, revealing pieces of the matriorb, which is cracking apart, revealing white movement underneath gray chitin. Mouth parts become visible as the infant eats away its shell. The womb subsides as the maiden grub reveals itself, with its big, white eyes and its soft, chubby body, little legs flailing around helplessly as that pseudo flesh subsides.

Kanaya nearly collapses as she takes it in her arms, the feeling indescribable. Love seems insufficient. Instant, insurmountable tenderness, eternal, unconditional devotion. The need to never let this beautiful creature struggle or leave her side again. She holds it to her chest. It latches instinctually to what was once those stab wounds.

ROSE: Is your baby...feeding?

Kanaya feels a warmth spread through her. Baby. Yes. Yes this is my baby. I love her and she is my baby. I love my baby.

KANAYA: I Think So
KANAYA: I Think The Blood I Took From Aradia Metabolized Into Sustenance Somehow
KANAYA: I Am Unsure
KANAYA: The Mother Grub On Alternia Was A Millennia Old
KANAYA: Our Records On How To Breed Them Were Destroyed To Centralize Reproduction
ROSE: So...what do you want to do next?
KANAYA: I
KANAYA: I Think We Have To Go Back Up
KANAYA: We Can’t Possibly Leave her Here Alone

Kanaya holds her baby to her chest, wrapping her in her arms, and kisses her horn gently.

ROSE: Alright, then. You lead the way.

Notes:

quick lighthearted chapter before i start rearing to throw you people back into the pit of suffering