Work Text:
PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU’VE GOT ME
In a world where the nickname your soulmate will call you appears on your chest on your eighteenth birthday, you’d think it would be easy to find them. You would just get on with your life and wait to hear someone call you by that name.
That’s exactly what Harry thought all his life leading up to his 18th birthday. For years he used to daydream about what name would be forever etched on his skin, what it would feel like when he first saw his soulmate’s eyes. How they would fall madly in love in an instant and live happily ever after.
So when he woke up on the day of his 18th birthday, he couldn’t wait. He felt the tingling on his chest, under his pectoral muscle next to his heart. He jumped out of the bed and hurried to his mirror. After rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he squinted and tried to read what it said. nettiK. What the hell is Nettik? Well, at least it would be easy enough to know when he’d met his soulmate. It took Harry’s sleep-addled brain a little while to understand that the word was mirrored and he took a better look. K-I-T-T-E-N. Kitten. Harry looked at the word in utter disbelief. It couldn’t be, could it? Anything else, please, but not that one.
Because there was only one nickname he absolutely hated and it was kitten.
*******
BREAKING NEWS:
Actor Louis Tomlinson to join the cast of Story Of My Life
May 2nd, 2024 - Anna McLean
After months of fan speculation, the star of the show All This Time is confirmed to be joining the popular daytime drama Story Of My Life. 28-year-old Tomlinson is most known for playing the beloved character Bryce in All This Time, before his character’s unfortunate end last season, and won the Best Newcomer Award at the British Soap Awards in 2022.
Tomlinson will be taking on the role of River Hawkins, who’ll come to the town of Falling to join his cousin Storm Hawkins’, played by Zayn Malik, law firm. The creator of the show, Jack Forrest, has issued a statement that Louis Tomlinson will be playing an openly gay character and that there will be a romance in sight for him. With whom, that is yet to be disclosed...
Tomlinson came out as bisexual in December 2023 and it is rumoured his coming out was the main reason his character in All This Time was written off from the show. The producers and the show's creator, Stuart Crown, issued a statement that what caused Tomlinson’s departure wasn’t because of any personal reason, but rather the direction the show was going. “The story arc of Bryce had simply run its course and it was a mutual decision agreed on by all parties,” Crown said in an interview earlier this year.
Story Of My Life is one of the most popular daytime shows in the UK. The show has gained a lot of teen and young adult audience in the last year. This is mostly due to the character Jasper Walker, played by Harry Styles. Styles, age 26, has become one of the most beloved actors in the UK’s soap scene. His effortless charisma and good looks, not to mention his impeccable acting, has helped the show to establish its place in the soap opera world.
We here at SoapSpot are truly excited to see where Story Of My Life will lead us. Please make sure to subscribe for more juicy gossip about your favourite Actresses and Actors of the British soap world!
Harry closes the tab on his phone where he had been reading the article and throws the phone with a huff next to him on the sofa. He rubs his hands up and down on his face and huffs again. Liam still doesn’t say anything. He just scrolls on his own phone with an unimpressed look on his face. Not one to be ignored, Harry huffs again.
“H, you need to tell me if something’s bothering you. I’m not up for this diva stuff,” Liam says without looking away from his phone.
“I’m not being a diva,” Harry pouts. “It’s just that… why does it have to be him ?”
“They had a chance to get one of the best soap actors in the industry so of course they went for it. It’s not rocket science, Harry. He’s going to be a great asset on the show. Not to mention also to you.” With that Liam finally lifts his gaze and looks at Harry.
“But there’s a lot of great actors who could’ve been just as good,” Harry protests. “Why does it have to be him?”
“You’re the one who wants to come out and it helps that the show is willing to go the extra mile for you. Not many actors get that kind of support. Writing Jasper’s sexual awakening is helping you personally and with a character like Tomlinson’s River, it’s going to be easier. You’re the one who didn’t mention to Jack that you have a weird school girl crush on Tomlinson, so that’s on you.”
Harry whips his head to Liam so fast it’s surprising he didn’t strain anything.
“I do NOT have feelings for him!”
“No, you just pine from afar and avoid him at all costs at industry events. May I remind you what happened at the soap awards?” Before Harry can stop him, Liam goes on. “You stayed in the bathroom for an hour because Tomlinson was talking to Nellie and Niall. An hour, Harry! We were all looking for you and only after I sent you a text that he’s gone home, you finally came back to the party.”
“I ate something dodgy that night,” Harry mumbles but even he doesn’t believe himself.
“Yeah, right. It’s always something, isn’t it? You have to get over it because you’ll be working with him. And closely, if I may add,” Liam says as he’s gathering his phone and bag. “I have to go now but call me if you need anything. The table read for your first joint scene is tomorrow and you need to get over this.” Liam waves his hand in Harry’s general direction dramatically, basically addressing all of him. “Whatever this is.”
Rude. Liam can be sassy when he wants to be.
“Fine,” Harry says and crosses his arms on his chest.
He can’t make himself look his agent in the eye. He knows he’s being childish over this but he can’t help it. The truth is, he does have a crush on Louis Tomlinson. He’s talked to the actor only once before when he had just started to work at Story Of My Life. Unsurprisingly, Louis had been charming and gorgeous, oozing with charisma, so there was no way he wouldn’t have developed a crush. Their conversation had been brief, but Harry felt fireworks. And that resulted in him trying to avoid Louis ever since then.
He wasn’t out to the public and if anyone saw him fawning over the older man it would have been too obvious, so he had done the only thing he thought was appropriate... He avoided him. That had been easier said than done, since the industry in the UK wasn’t that big to begin with. There were plenty of parties and award shows where they were both in attendance, which only meant that Harry became quite familiar with the toilets and hallways of all the venues.
But now he couldn’t avoid Louis any longer. He’s been cast on the show as Harry’s love interest.
It all started a few months ago when Harry announced to Liam and his team that he wanted to come out and the show’s creator had suggested they write the coming out into the show. Or kind of. Harry’s character Jasper was going to have a sexual awakening and in the midst of it all, Harry would come out in real life. He and his whole team had agreed that he’d come out as bisexual, and not gay like he really was, because he had been seen “romancing” several female co-stars and aspiring models early on in his career. All of these relationships were obviously PR that helped make Harry’s name known to the public, as well as protected his sexuality. After years of lies and being seen as a womaniser, Harry made a decision. He was ready. It was time for him to come out.
This decision was actually inspired by watching Louis come out late last year. It had given Harry some courage to talk to Liam about the possibility since Louis’ coming out was taken mainly positively by the public. Of course, there had been some media discourse and his previous employment was terminated but overall the news had been received well.
Shockingly, Harry’s team had been supportive and talked to the show’s producers and creator. Turns out, after running the numbers, the prospect of a queer love story boded well with the show’s main demographic. Everything was fine with them and the ball had been set to roll. And then they dropped the bomb that Louis was going to be the love interest. Harry wasn’t able to do anything to stop it from happening. Louis was loved by the audience and he’d bring a lot of new fans to the show. It was already in the news and social media was in a frenzy. People were excited to have Louis in one of the best soaps in the UK and the number of viewers of Story Of My Life were already going up.
So Harry has to make a choice.
- He could continue his avoiding, but that would look weird since Harry loved to interact with all of his co-stars.
- He could admit to Louis that he has a crush on him but then he would have to deal with the humiliation that comes from that, and the possibility of being rejected.
- Or he could pretend to not have any kind of feelings towards the man.
Feigning indifference, that's what he would go for…
Now that that’s settled, Harry gets up from the sofa and starts to make his way out of the studio. He needs to get home and have a good night's sleep in order to be prepared for tomorrow's table read.
*******
Harry does not get a goodnight’s sleep. He turned in early but then he tossed and turned with thoughts about working with Louis Tomlinson and that had led into thinking about his eyes and cheekbones and the scruff on his jaw. And then that had led into thoughts about his bum and thighs and that had led to a very shameful wank.
Now he is sitting at the round table in the studio’s conference room and watching people as they arrive for the table read. They would start filming the following day and today was more about the cast meeting its newest member than actual acting. Though they would go over the script and see if there needs to be any adjustments.
Nellie flops down next to Harry and gives him a tired smile.
“Long night?” Harry asks.
“More like an early morning. The baby woke me up at the crack of dawn and wouldn’t go back to sleep. I didn’t want to wake Greg because he has an important meeting today so I’ve been up since five. I swear to you that baby knows when I need to have my A game on,” Nellie says while shaking her head.
Nellie plays Jody in the show, Harry’s character's sister and in real life they’re almost as close as siblings are. Harry adores her baby, Thomas. He is always spoiling him so Nellie had made an ultimatum that Harry can’t come to see Thomas with a gift. Harry had pouted at that but the need to be with Thomas was stronger than his desire to buy him everything in the kid’s department at the store.
Harry and Nellie talk about Thomas and work. They’re interrupted by a loud laugh from the corridor outside the room. Harry knows that laugh. He’s heard it enough times even when he’s been actively trying to avoid hearing it. It’s one of the most beautiful sounds ever to grace Harry’s ears and he has to remind himself that he has chosen to ignore everything that comes with the man that laughs outside the room.
Louis steps inside with Niall, the show’s head writer. They’re still chuckling over whatever it was they were laughing at in the corridor. Louis is smiling so hard that his eyes are nothing but small slits in his face. There are crinkles by his eyes and Harry has to tear his eyes away before he starts swooning. Instead he tries to paint an unimpressed expression on his face and it earns him a nudge in the arm from Nellie.
“Are you alright, H? Do you need to go to the bathroom?” she asks with a worried look on her face. Okay, so apparently he looked more constipated than unimpressed. Fuck, he’s supposed to be an actor, even a brilliant one, and he can’t act indifferent infront of his friends and co-workers.
“No, I’m fine. Let’s just get this done,” he says and reaches over to grab his copy of the script from the table. Nellie gives him one more worried glance but then shrugs her shoulders and takes her own copy.
“Alright, lovers! Welcome to the table read for this week's episodes. As you are all aware, we have a new addition to the cast this fall. Please help me welcome mister Louis Tomlinson!” Niall starts to applaud and everyone except Harry joins him. It earns more curious glances towards him but he’s focused on flipping through the pages of his script.
“Thank you all. It’s great to be here with you. I’m looking forward to working with all of you,” Louis says and Harry can feel his eyes on him. It sends a small electric shock through him but he’s able to suppress the shiver that was threatening to go down his spine.
“Good to have you here, Louis. Now, for this week we are introducing Louis in the show. As you know, he’s going to play Zayn’s cousin,” Niall nods to Zayn and he raises his hand to give Louis a wave. “And we are going to start hinting at the storyline that has Harry’s character Jasper questioning his sexuality.” Niall’s gesturing to Harry but Harry keeps his eyes on the script.
After a small pause, Niall continues. “Anyways, tomorrow we start shooting the scene where Louis comes to town. So let’s start the reading with Zayn and Louis. Go ahead gentlemen!”
Louis and Zayn start to read and Harry’s having trouble tuning out the scene. It’s just that Louis’ voice is so unique. It’s a bit high and there’s a slight rasp that has Harry hanging on to every word that comes from his mouth. And he can’t seem to be able to look anywhere else than to that said mouth. The thin lips that look incredibly red even across the table. Every once in a while Louis’ tongue makes a quick appearance to lick his lips and Harry is mesmerised. He’s busy imagining that tongue licking every part of him when he realises that everyone has stopped talking and all eyes are on him. He blinks and looks at Niall.
“You alright, H? It’s your line,” Niall says with an amused grin.
“Oh, right. Must’ve zoned out. Sorry about that. Where were we?” Harry says and looks at Nellie's script to see where they’re at.
“You were about to be blown away about my appearance,” Louis says across the table and winks. Harry’s definitely not blushing.
“More like appalled,” he says under his breath and flips to the right page of his script.
“What was that, love?” Louis asks.
“Nothing. Now, should we get on with it?” Harry acts like he isn’t about to throw himself over the table because the blue-eyed man called him love. He’s quite impressed at his voice which comes out a bit chilly and biting.
“Sure, no need to get your claws out, kitty,” Louis remarks.
Harry whips his head up and stares at Louis wide eyed. “What did you just say?”
“Chill, mate. Let’s just get this over with.” Louis has the audacity to roll his eyes even if Harry’s entire world is spinning. He said kitty, not kitten . That’s just what he needs, for Louis to be his soulmate. Fuck, it wasn’t kitten. Relax, Harry , he tells himself and takes a deep breath.
“Sorry everyone. I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m a bit tired,” Harry apologises. He gets sympathetic grunts and Nellie taps his forearm in a soothing gesture.
“Don’t worry about it, Harry. If you’ll just read your line so we can finish. The ladies in the wardrobe have asked to have you in for a fitting after this and I’m not the one to make them wait,” Niall says.
*******
The rest of the reading goes without a hitch and soon Harry’s making his way to the wardrobe that everyone calls the closet. He’s stopped by a shout of his name.
“Harry!” It’s Louis, because of course it is. Harry closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before opening his eyes and turning around to see what Louis wants.
“You’re going to the closet?” Louis asks.
“Yeah, for the fitting,” Harry admits.
“Mind if I tag along? Still don’t know which way everything is in here,” Louis says while rubbing the back of his neck. If Harry would have to venture a guess, he’d think Louis is nervous.
“Sure, just come this way.”
Louis comes up next to Harry as they start their walk over to the wardrobe department.
“So, you’ve been here for a couple of years now?” Louis breaks the silent walk.
“Yeah, two years in June,” Harry answers.
“And you like it here?”
“It’s great, yeah. Everyone here is really supportive and they have good work ethics,” Harry says.
“So it’s just you, who has a problem with me then?” Louis asks with a faux nonchalant tone.
Harry stops walking. Before Louis realises that Harry’s stopped, he’s taken a few more steps. He then stops and turns to look at Harry. Harry is opening and closing his mouth because he can’t think of anything to say.
“Wh- what?” is what he comes up with. Way to go, Styles, that’s really eloquent . Harry internally rolls his eyes to himself.
“It’s just… You kind of had an attitude at the reading and I’ve only heard great things about you from everyone here and my friends in the industry so I assumed that it's me who you have a problem with,” Louis says and he’s rubbing his left palm with his right thumb. He’s not looking at Harry but down at the floor in front of him.
Harry suddenly feels incredibly guilty. He didn’t mean to make Louis feel like shit. The poor man lost his contract at his old show because of his sexuality, and now Harry was treating him badly. He just wanted to protect his own heart and now he's gone and made a mess. He sighs and fiddles with the curls on top of his head.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you feel bad. I’m just shitting myself because of the coming out,” Harry apologises. He gives Louis a smile that he’s hoping is reassuring. Louis nods and smiles back. It’s not the smile that makes his eyes crinkle but at this point Harry takes what he can get.
“It’s a big deal to have a character going through what yours is about to go through. It must be nerve wracking,” Louis says.
“Plus there’s my own coming out in the mix so nerve wracking is an understatement,” Harry chuckles and continues to make his way to the wardrobe. It takes him a couple seconds to realise that Louis isn’t following and he stops and turns. Louis is still down the hall and has his head tilted and he’s looking at Harry with furrowed brows.
“Coming out? What do you mean?” he asks Harry.
“They didn’t tell you?” Now it’s Harry’s turn to be confused. “The reason why Jasper is having a sexual awakening is because I’m planning on coming out.”
“Oh! No, they didn’t tell me. Well, congratulations then, I guess,” Louis says and there’s the smile Harry wants to see forever. Shaking his head Harry gestures down the hall and they fall into step with each other. The silence is almost comfortable now and maybe Harry can be cordial and treat Louis just like he treats every other member of the cast and staff.
They arrive at the closet and are greeted by the wardrobe ladies Florence and Julie.
“Oh goody! You’re both here,” Florence squeals. “Hi, Louis. I’m Florence and this lovely bird here is Julie.” Louis shakes their hands and says that it’s nice to meet them.
“Okay, we have this ensemble for you for your first appearance,” Julie says and hands Louis a wooden hanger with a dark grey suit and another with white button up hanging off it. “And for you Harry, here’s the shirt we talked about and the skinny jeans.”
Harry takes the items from Julie and goes behind the curtain to change. Louis takes the dressing cubicle next to him.
It’s a tough job to get into those jeans but Harry’s had quite a lot of training. For some reason the writers have him dressed in the tightest jeans Flo and Julie can find because apparently “ that’s what Jasper is all about ”. The shirt has some floral pattern embroidered on it and is almost see through. It flows nicely on his body. Harry loves it and he might just have to steal it from the set.
He steps out from the cubicle and turns to the ladies. They fuss over him and talk to themselves about getting more of these flowy shirts for Harry. Their chatter is interrupted by the sound of a curtain being pulled to the side and then there is Louis.
The suit is fitting him like a glove and Harry’s mouth has gone dry. The way the cut on the suit jacket accentuates Louis’ slim waist is unbelievable. The trousers are tight in all the right places and Harry has to tear his eyes away from Louis’ thighs. Harry turns around and goes to the minifridge that’s located in the corner of the room. There has to be a water bottle there, right? Harry’s going to die from thirst but it’s probably not the kind of thirst that any drink can quench.
“Look at you, my dear!” Florence says and there’s a hint of proudness in her voice. “The measurements we got from your people were absolutely bang on. That suit is made for you! There won’t be a single person in the UK who won’t be head over heels for you when the episode airs.”
“We don’t have to adjust anything!” Julie shouts excitedly.
“Well, if that’s the case, I’m going to change back to my own clothes and…” Louis starts and then stops when he spots Harry at the corner. “Wow, you look…” Louis clears his throat and continues, “you look great, Harry!” Then he’s hastily making his way back into the cubicle and Harry is left speechless.
Great. He thinks Harry looks great. That's what you say to a mate when you see them dressed for a night out. Oh, well. At least Florence and Julie think he looks amazing. Harry opens the water bottle and takes a sip from it. Maybe the water will wash down any of the disappointment that has made its way to Harry’s chest.
Louis comes out before Harry has the chance to change and he sees that Louis takes another lingering look at him but he’s then turning his gaze to Julie who is holding her arm out to take Louis’ suit from him.
“This was a pleasure, ladies. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Louis says. He then turns to Harry and gives him a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow too, kitten.”
Harry is stuck staring at the door where Louis just disappeared through.
“Did he say…” Harry starts.
“Kitten,” Florence says with a nod. “Harry…”
“No, it’s just a fluke. It doesn’t mean anything,” Harry says firmly.
Harry usually has his soulmate marking covered up with skin coloured tape but because of how long he’s been working with Florence and Julie they’ve seen what’s written on his chest. And because Harry has always known that his soulmate would be a man it didn’t even matter that they saw what was etched on his skin. But now he wishes that they didn’t know. He rubs his temples with his fingers and goes behind the curtain to change back to his own clothes.
Once he’s out he sees the looks on the ladies faces.
“Really. I don’t think it’s him. There was an incident at the reading and he called me kitty there. He must’ve said kitty and we just heard him wrong.”
“Harry…”
“Please Flo. Just let it go.”
“Okay. But for what it’s worth, you could do much worse,” Florence says with a mirth in her voice.
“Maybe, but he’s not my soulmate. So now that we’ve established that, what do you say about ordering some more of these beautiful shirts for me?”
*******
The days after the incident, as Harry comes to call it, goes by with lots of hectic filming. Jasper’s storyline is so precious to Harry and he wants to make it believable and good. It helps that he has lived it. Although he always kind of knew that he wasn’t that attracted to girls, it still was somewhat shocking to realise that he liked boys. When back in school all his mates were gushing about tits and girls in general, he didn’t understand the hype. But when he saw Justin Miller in skin tight jeans, he knew. That boy’s bum was Harry’s sexual awakening. He was lucky to have a family that was open and accepting so the coming out part wasn’t that bad. Of course it still had made him nervous but when his mum had just smiled and opened her arms to give Harry a cuddle, he understood that he’d been worried for nothing. Niall had asked for his story and the writers had included parts of it in Jasper’s story.
And now they are filming the part where Jasper meets River for the first time. Harry is wearing the outfit Florence and Julie had picked out and Louis is in the suit. Harry thinks that there might be quite a few sexual awakenings that happen when the episode airs. Louis is just that gorgeous. The suit makes Louis look even more fit than on a normal day and that just makes it more difficult for Harry to concentrate on delivering his lines. Harry just hopes that people think all his floundering is because of his acting skills, rather than his unrequited crush. After all, Jasper is supposed to be flustered and nervous. And that’s exactly what Harry is.
“And… cut!” the director shouts and Harry takes a deep breath. “Wonderful work everyone! I think that’s a wrap on today. Have a lovely weekend!”
Everyone claps and shouts their goodbye’s and then Harry is making his way to his dressing room. When he enters, Liam is sitting on the sofa.
“Hi, H! I saw a little of that last scene you were filming and everything looks great,” Liam greets Harry. He stands up and walks up to Harry to give him a hug. Harry buries his head in Liam’s neck.
“Thanks, Li. I’m not really sure it was that great but thanks for saying that,” he chuckles and lets go of his agent and goes to grab his water bottle from the side table.
“Oh, come on, Harry! That was great acting. I really believed you to be gobsmacked by River.”
“I’m not sure how much of it was acting,” Harry says quietly but Liam catches it anyway.
“That’s what I also thought. But it can be passed off as just your acting skills so don’t get all weird about it,” Liam consoles him and rubs his hand up and down Harry’s back in a soothing manner. It actually does help and Harry feels like he can breathe a bit easier.
There’s a knock on the door and before Harry can open his mouth to allow entry the door opens and Niall pokes his head through.
“Alright, lads? Fancy a pint or two at Leo’s?” Niall asks enthusiastically.
“Why not?” Liam shrugs his shoulders. “Is… ahm… Is Zayn coming?” he continues with a slight blush. Harry looks over to Niall and the amused expression on the Irish man’s face mirrors his own.
“Yeah, the whole crew has agreed to come. What about you, H?” Niall answers.
“Well, maybe just for a pint,” Harry agrees. He’s not quite sure if he wants to go but since everyone (and that means Louis too) is going it would look odd if he wouldn’t join them.
“Ace, lads. I’ll see you there,” and with that Niall is off and the door is shut behind him. Harry takes another sip from his water and turns to Liam.
“So, you and Zayn, huh?” Harry smirks.
“Shut up, H,” Liam says and with a pout he’s walking to the door. “Let’s just go, please.”
“Sure,” Harry laughs. “I’ll just need to change but you can go ahead. I’ll catch you at Leo’s.”
“Okay, don’t take too long. See you there!” Liam says and waves and then Harry is alone in his dressing room.
He tips his head back and exhales while looking at the ceiling. He can totally do this. It’s just a few drinks with his co-workers. It doesn’t matter that the most beautiful man Harry’s ever seen is going to be there too.
*******
Leo’s is packed when Harry arrives. He changed into some wide legged green trousers and a blue sweater over a white button down shirt. To complete the look he put on his pearl necklace. He makes his way to the bar and jumps when there’s a hand placed on his shoulder.
“Relax, H, it’s only me,” Zayn says next to him. He grabs Harry’s arm and drags him towards the back of the pub where their crew has claimed a couple of booths. Harry sees Niall and Liam sitting in one of them with Louis and Nellie. There’s free seats on both ends of the booth’s benches, one next to Liam and another next to Louis. Before Harry has the chance to sit next to Liam, Zayn is already claiming the seat. So Harry’s only option is to sit next to Louis or bail.
“There you are, H! Come and sit, we got you a pint already,” Liam shouts loudly as if reading Harry’s mind. Harry braves himself and takes the only vacant spot left. Niall hands him the pint and Harry takes a small sip. He really doesn’t like beer all that much but since they’ve got it for him he’ll drink at least half of it.
“Not a beer drinker, eh?” comes the raspy voice next to Harry. Louis says it so quietly that no one else can hear him.
“Nah, it’s alright. It’s already bought,” Harry shrugs.
“Don’t worry about that. What would you actually like to drink?”
“Please Louis, it’s okay. I’m perfectly fine with this.”
“Harry, tell me what you want and I’ll go get it for you.” It comes out almost as a command and Harry finds himself looking into the bluest eyes he’s ever seen.
“Tequila soda,” Harry whispers.
“Alright, love. If you’ll just move so I can get up,” Louis says and smiles at Harry. Harry stands up and lets Louis go to the bar. He sits back down and is met with four pairs of eyes on him.
“What?” he asks, confused.
“Where did Louis go?” Niall asks at the same time as Liam groans “What did you say to him?”
Harry narrows his eyes to Liam before he answers. “He went to get me a drink.”
“But we already got you a pint,” Niall says with furrowed brows.
“Yes, and thank you for that but I’m really not that fond of the taste of beer.”
“But you always drink beer with us,” Niall continues.
“Because you always get me one and that’s alright.”
“You should've said something, mate,” Niall’s voice is laced with hurt.
“I’m sorry, you’re right. I should’ve told you, but it’s really not a big deal. I’m fine drinking beer if it means I get to hang out with you lot,” Harry apologises and throws his arm around Niall’s shoulders. He gives him a tight squeeze and feels how the man next to him relaxes.
“Well, from now on there’ll be no more beer for you,” Niall grins and lifts his own pint glass in a cheer.
Harry laughs and then there’s a tall glass set down in front of him, bubbling with tequila soda. There’s ice and lime wedge floating in it too. Harry lifts his head to smile at Louis who’s sitting down next to him.
“Thank you, you really didn’t need to do that.”
Louis waves a dismissive hand and smiles. The crinkles by his eyes really are out to murder Harry. “But I wanted to. Now there’s more beer for me,” he says and drags his own pint next to the one that was Harry’s.
“Oi, I can drink that! Mine’s already gone,” Niall hollers and reaches across Harry for one of the glasses.
“Not a chance, Neil! I got Harry his drink so it’s only fair that I get to have his pint,” Louis says, clinging on to the glasses while turning his back to shield them from the Irishman.
There’s some more bickering between the two that only stops when Zayn says that he’s going to get another round.
The night passes quickly with talks about the show and what everyone is planning on doing this weekend. Nellie is the first one to call it a night. She gives everyone a quick hug and then she’s off.
The boys stay for another round. Harry opts for water since he’s already had three tequila soda’s and is feeling quite a bit tipsy. His inebriation must be obvious because Louis light heartedly teases him about his even slower speech pattern than normal. Harry pouts and then giggles when Louis digs his fingers to his side.
After their glasses are empty they leave the pub and stand outside while waiting for their rides.
“You want to catch a car together, Z?” Harry asks. They live relatively close to each other so it would be convenient for them to share.
“Um, I’m actually going to go to a…” Zayn starts but is cut off by Liam.
“To a party! Isn’t that right Zayn? You were talking about a party that’s close to mine so maybe we could ride together,” Liam exclaims. He’s also avoiding eye contact with Harry so of course Harry is curious. It’s Louis that speaks next.
“Yeah, Zayn’s big on going to parties,” he chuckles. “Who’s party is it?” There’s a mischievous glint in Louis’ eyes and he winks at Harry.
Zayn is rolling his eyes and blushing. “A friend of mine is having a birthday party.”
“What friend?” Niall asks innocently. Harry can see right through him. He also knows that something’s up.
“Oh, you don’t know them. Come on, Liam. The car’s here.” Zayn grabs Liam’s arm and practically drags him to the black car that’s waiting for them by the curb. Once the door is closed, Harry, Niall and Louis burst into laughter.
“Not suspicious at all,” Louis says and laughs some more.
“Yeah, they could’ve held up a sign that says “we’re going to fuck” and it would’ve been more subtle,” Niall states.
Harry honks out his signature donkey laugh and immediately throws his hand over his mouth. Oh god, that was embarrassing , he thinks to himself but when he looks at the two men infront of him, all he sees is that Niall is bent over laughing and Louis is looking at him with a soft smile and what could almost be described fondness in his eyes. Harry feels breathless all of the sudden and if that’s not his cue to go, he doesn’t know what is.
“That seems to be my car. This was great but I think I’m gonna head home. I’ll see you both on Monday,” he says and turns towards the car.
“No, that’s my car,” Niall comments. “Okay, bye bye, lovers! I’ll see you when I see you.” He hugs Louis first and then throws his arms around Harry. “Sorry about the beer. I’ll get you tequila next time,” he murmurs in Harry’s ear and smacks a wet kiss against his cheek.
“Don’t worry about it. Get home safely,” Harry whispers back and then Niall’s gone.
“So, where do you live, Harry?” Louis breaks the silence.
“Ealing Common.”
“Oh, well, that’s definitely not on my way,” Louis chuckles.
“Yeah? Where do you live then?”
“Chelsea.”
“That’s quite posh of you,” Harry smirks.
“Oi, shut it! It was an investment,” Louis lightly swats Harry on the arm but he’s smiling so Harry doesn’t think he’s actually offended.
“We could still share a car. I’ll just drop you off first?” Harry suggests. And wait. What the hell is he doing? He was supposed to avoid Louis and here he is offering to spend even more time with him.
“That works for me. Thanks, love,” and the bloody crinkles appear again. He really needs to stop smiling at Harry like that.
“Good, that’s good,” Harry nods.
They both get in the car that’s pulled up to the pub and Louis gives the driver his address. Harry notices that they’re sitting awfully close. Their thighs are almost brushing and Harry can feel Louis’ body heat even through the layers of clothing between them. He rubs his sweaty hands on his thighs and clears his throat.
“Actually, Lou. I was wondering if I could ask you something.” Harry hears the sudden inhale from Louis and turns to look at him. Louis clears his throat before he speaks.
“Sure, what about?” Louis asks while leaning back in his seat and rolling his head against the headrest to look at Harry.
“About your coming out?” Harry’s voice raises at the end so it seems he’s asking rather than telling.
“Okay, go ahead.”
“Not here,” Harry says and looks pointedly towards the driver who’s looking at the road in front of him pretending not to listen. “Somewhere private?”
“You want to come to mine now?”
Does he want to go to Louis’? He does but Harry also knows that he wants to be sober when having this conversation. And whoa! Harry realises that he actually does want to go to Louis’ house and spend even more time together. Not the plan, he reminds himself, but at the same time the plan is starting to feel like something he doesn’t want to do anymore. It’s so easy to talk to Louis, it’s almost like they’ve known each other forever. Harry knows that they’ve not talked that much yet but he still feels at ease with the blue-eyed man.
Much too soon the car stops and Louis’ hand is on the handle.
“Harry? Do you want to come up?” Louis asks and tilts his head towards a beautiful house.
“No,” Harry says and there’s a split second that Harry swears he can see a disappointment cross Louis’ face but then he’s smiling at Harry again. Although not with the crinkles.
“Alright, that’s fine, love. Maybe some other day?”
“Um, are you free this weekend?” Harry suggests. His right hand flies to his mouth and he’s pulling his bottom lip with his thumb and index finger, a nervous habit he has had for years. Louis raises his arm and tugs Harry’s hand away from his mouth gently. Harry looks up at Louis, surprised.
“Don’t do that, love,” Louis whispers and then he’s holding Harry’s hand in his. “Yeah, I’m free tomorrow. You want to come here or should we meet somewhere else?”
“Dinner? I could cook?”
“Are you asking or telling me?” Louis asks amused.
“Both? I mean…” Harry starts and stops. Louis squeezes his hand and oh, they’re holding hands. Harry blushes. “Um, I mean that I can cook us dinner if you want to come to my place.”
“That sounds lovely,” Louis says smiling and the crinkles are back. Harry feels relieved but doesn’t really understand why. That crinkled eye smile just seems to make Harry breathe a little bit easier.
Louis releases Harry’s hand in order to fish his phone out of his back pocket.
“Here, put down your number and I’ll text you so you’ll have mine. And send me your address. At what time do you want me to come over?”
Harry takes the offered phone and enters his digits. He hands the phone back and Louis taps his screen a couple of times and then Harry feels his own phone vibrate against his thigh where it’s in his pocket.
“Does 7pm work for you?” Harry asks.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” Louis answers and then he opens the car door. He steps out and then leans back in. “See you tomorrow, kitten.”
Before Harry can say anything in response the car door swings shut and Louis is bouncing up the stairs to his front door. When he reaches the door he turns around and waves with a smirk on his face. Okay, there’s a slight chance that Harry heard him wrong again, but two times is not a coincidence. But even as Harry tries to convince himself, he already knows he’s fucked. Louis Tomlinson is his soulmate.
*******
Harry spends the Saturday afternoon stress cleaning and then he runs to the Sainsbury’s close to his flat to get things for dinner. Before he has any time to panic he’s busy chopping bell peppers and trying, unsuccessfully, to keep calm.
Since exchanging numbers last night he and Louis have been texting a lot. Like constantly. It started with Louis simply asking if Harry got home alright and before Harry knew what happened, it was 3am and the conversation wasn’t showing any signs of stopping. He had then said goodnight a bit reluctantly and if he had dreamt of blue eyes and sharp cheekbones, no one but him needed to know.
When he got up in the morning the conversation over texts had continued. Louis had wished him a good morning and then Harry had asked if there was anything Louis wouldn’t eat. Apparently sushi was out of question and he wasn’t that keen on avocados. Guacamole would be okay but no plain avocado. There had then been some avocado related jokes by Harry ( Do you know Avocado’s favourite music genre? Guac ‘n’ roll! ) and some eye rolling emojis from Louis. It had been so effortless. And that kind of worried Harry.
He was trying hard to forget what he had realised the night before but with Louis constantly texting him and the fact that he would be there in person in… Harry checks the wall clock above the dining table and is shocked to see it is a quarter past six already. Bloody hell, he still needs to take a shower and the food is only half way done and Louis is going to arrive in less than an hour. Alright, Styles! Get a move on. First shower, then worry about everything else.
Fresh out of the shower, Harry steps into his bedroom and goes straight to his closet, towel hanging around his waist. After grabbing a pair of blue jeans and a white tank top, Harry walks over to his dresser, tugging the top drawer open to select a pair of underpants.
He is about to grab one of his pants when his eyes land on the back of the drawer. He moves his hand over the collection of soft fabrics hidden back there and the comfort it brings to him makes him grab the pair of light yellow cotton knickers with a delicate lace trimming on the waistline instead. Harry doesn’t wear lingerie all the time but he really likes how they feel and look. They make him feel comfortable and so it is an easy decision to pick them and pull them on. After all, he needs every bit of comfort he can get tonight.
He gets his brown cardigan with yellow accents on the sleeves and yellow birds on the front from the closet to finish the look.
Once dressed, Harry rushes back to the kitchen and continues to prepare dinner. He went through all of his trusted recipes, including every fancy and complicated pasta dish, but in the end decided to make salmon with a side salad and homemade dressing. Simple, yet when prepared correctly, extremely delicious. He plans to cook the salmon only after Louis arrives so it would be absolutely perfect.
Just as he finishes chopping everything for the salad his buzzer goes off. Harry wanders to the intercom and pushes the call button.
“Yes?”
“Hi, Harry. It’s me.” Louis’ voice sounds lovely, soft even though the static distorts it slightly.
“Hi, Lou. Come on up. I’m on the first floor,” Harry says and buzzes him in. He takes a deep breath and holds it for a while before releasing it, chest deflating.
The knock on the door makes him jump and he shakes his head to himself, embarrassed by his nerves. Harry opens the door and Louis is standing there with a bottle of wine and some kind of box in his hands.
“Hello,” is all Harry can say, mouth dry. Louis is standing there like a dream, wearing a cream coloured sweater and blue jeans just like Harry. He looks so cosy that Harry has to fight the urge to cuddle up to him. He opens the door while stepping aside to give Louis room to enter his flat. “Come on in.”
“Thanks, love. Here, my mum taught me to never visit anyone without bringing them something.” Louis hands the wine and the box to Harry. “It’s just some white wine and dessert. I heard the other day you talking to Julie about the bakery that makes the best chocolate eclairs so I went there today and got us some.” Louis shrugs his shoulders as if it’s not a big deal. To Harry it’s a huge deal. The bakery in question only makes the eclairs early in the morning and they’re always sold out before 10am. That means that Louis had to be out and about already at 8am when the bakery opened, which is quite a feat considering they had texted till 3am.
“Oh, thank you,” Harry says and feels how his cheeks are warming up.
Louis steps into the flat and toes his shoes off without Harry having to ask. He lines them up next to the door and stands up.
“Your flat looks nice,” Louis compliments while peering around the living room. “I can see why you like living here. It took me like five minutes to walk here from the tube.”
“Thanks. Yeah, it’s really convenient. Probably the biggest reason I’m not looking to move closer to central London.” Harry walks to the kitchen that’s next to the living room. Some might call it a kitchenette since there’s no place for a table but it’s fully equipped and the dining table is right next to it in the living room so to Harry it’s a kitchen. He puts the wine in the fridge to chill a bit and places the eclair box on the counter.
“I get that. I used to live in east London but the commute was always such a hassle so when I started to make some decent money, I decided to buy my house in Chelsea. It’s so much easier to get around the city from there.”
“Is it a big house?” Harry asks. He opens the fridge again to get the salmon.
Louis is looking at the photos Harry has hanging on the wall of the dining area. There’s some of his family and friends and some from the travels Harry did when he took a year off before uni.
“I guess. It has four bedrooms so my sisters can stay with me when they’re in London.”
“How many sisters do you have?” Harry bends down to get his skillet from the bottom drawer. His back is towards Louis who hasn’t answered so Harry glances over his shoulder. Louis is looking right at Harry’s bum. Well, that’s interesting. Harry smiles to himself before he speaks. “Lou?” he asks softly.
Louis shakes his head and rubs his hand across his face. “Yeah?”
“I asked how many sisters you have.”
“Right!” There’s an awkward chuckle coming from Louis. “There’s five sisters and one brother.”
“There’s seven of you?” Harry questions with raised eyebrows, though he does recall reading something like that from a magazine.
“Yeah, can you imagine? Me mum’s got her hands full that’s for sure,” Louis giggles. “I’m the oldest. I was seven when Lottie came along so I helped me mum a bit.”
Louis walks over to the kitchen and hops to sit on the counter, thumping his heels gently against the cabinet below. If it were anyone else Harry would’ve already chastised them and told them to get down. But Louis looks like he belongs there watching Harry make dinner (or lunch or breakfast, whatever) so Harry lets him be.
“That sounds lovely. There’s only me and my sister but I think we still managed to give our mum more grey hair than was fair.” Harry smiles when he thinks about his mum and sister. He puts the skillet on the hob and turns on the gas. He pours some olive oil on it and waits for it to heat before placing the two salmon fillets on it.
“Is your sister older or younger than you?” Louis asks.
“Gemma’s older. She’s a journalist and always travelling for work. She’s based in London though so when she’s here, we get to hang out.” Harry grabs some salt and pepper from the counter and seasons the fillets from one side and then flips them so they cook thoroughly.
“That’s nice. Our Lottie is a makeup artist and travels for work too but Fizzy and the older twins come to stay at mine about once a month. Younger twins are still a bit too young to come by themselves so me mum comes with them from time to time.”
“Two sets of twins?” Harry squeals.
“Yeah, they run in the family,” Louis chuckles.
“Wow, your mum must be a superhero or something,” Harry says, shaking his head.
“That she is. Raised me by herself for years before me stepdad came into the picture. Do you need help with anything? Sorry should’ve probably asked that before,” Louis says as Harry’s turning off the flame under his skillet.
“No worries, everything is already set. I just need to plate these and then we can eat. Although if you could get the wine you brought from the fridge and open it, that would be great.” Harry opens a cupboard and takes out two plates so he can put the salmon fillets on them. He carries the plates to the table while Louis hops down from the counter to get the wine.
“Where do you keep the bottle opener?” Louis enquiries.
“It’s in the top drawer,” Harry answers while getting the salad bowl out of the fridge.
Louis finds the bottle opener and opens the wine bottle. He fills their glasses and sets the bottle on the table. Harry places the bowl in the middle and gestures to Louis to take a seat.
“Everything looks wonderful, love. And it smells incredible,” Louis says after taking a sip of the wine.
Harry thanks Louis while settling down on his seat. He’s blushing again because of the compliment. If Louis asks about it he’ll blame it on the heat from the stove.
They both serve themselves salad, Harry more than Louis and they dig in. The moment Louis gets the salmon in his mouth he practically moans. Harry stares at him wide-eyed. It sounded almost indecent.
“Wow, Harry. This is unbelievable. Don’t think I’ve ever had salmon as good as this. Usually it is so dry.”
“Um, thanks,” Harry gets out. He’s blushing again or maybe he never stopped.
For a while they just focus on eating. The silence isn’t uncomfortable and Harry thinks it’s quite nice. This is what he has always craved, sharing a meal and just being with a person, in their presence. He feels that there’s no expectation for him to say something just to fill the quiet. Louis’ demeanour is calming and Harry gets a bit lost in his daydream that this is what it’s supposed to be. He’s brought back by Louis tapping his fingers against the back of his hand that’s resting on the table.
“Where’d you go, kitten?” Louis asks softly. He’s smiling at Harry and Harry thinks he’s never seen him smile like that. Like it’s something just for him.
“Please, don’t call me that,” is what Harry says while looking down at his nearly empty plate. He’s whispering it, almost like he doesn’t want to say it, but still feels he needs to. After all, he does hate that nickname.
“Oh, sorry.” Louis quickly withdraws his hand and looks a bit embarrassed.
“It’s just… I kinda hate it?” Harry’s voice lifts at the end so it comes out more like a question than a statement. He feels like he’s questioning himself but ignores it for now. He does hate being called kitten, he really does.
“Okay, I’ll try not to say it anymore,” Louis says but the smile he gives to Harry isn’t the one he had on before. Harry doesn’t like this smile and wants that other one back. Louis clears his throat before he speaks again. “So you wanted to ask me about my coming out? That’s the reason you invited me over, right?”
“Right,” Harry answers, feeling a bit dizzy with the change in subject. That is why he asked Louis to come over. He goes to take a sip from his wine only to find the glass empty. Louis lifts the bottle and fills Harry’s glass. “Thanks. Um, I just wanted to ask how it felt. Like, kind of what to expect when I do it.”
“Well, I think it’s different for everyone. I was a bit scared but those who truly matter have always known who I am so at the end of the day it was just a weight off of my shoulders. It was exhausting to hide that part of me, not to mention how it hindered my sex life.” Louis winks at Harry and lifts his glass to his lips. Yeah, Harry just has to go on with his life with permanently flushed cheeks.
“Um, that’s…” Harry starts and his voice is a bit higher than normally so he stops and clears his throat. “That’s kind of how I feel. I just want to be me and not double check everything I do just so I don’t accidentally out myself,” Harry muses while focusing his eyes on the swirling of the wine in his glass.
“It’s shit when you have to do that. I remember how my first management team really made me feel like a second class citizen just because I happen to like men too. They were adamant that I wouldn’t make it as an actor if I ever came out. ‘ Teenage girls are your target audience. You need to be someone they can imagine having sex with and being a fag isn’t that. ’”
“Oh wow, they really said that to you?” Harry places his glass on the table and reaches out to take Louis’ hand in his. “That’s fucked up,” he continues and shakes his head. He’s unbelievably happy that he has Liam, and the rest of his team, rooting for him.
“That was years ago so it doesn’t bother me anymore,” Louis tries but Harry cuts him off.
“Lou, you remember word for word what they said. So of course it still bothers you. That’s not how to speak to anyone.” Harry now has Louis’ hand between both of his and Louis’ hand is so warm and soft. He looks straight into those blue eyes and tries his best to convey that he’s being sincere.
Louis lowers his gaze to their joined hands and nods. When he lifts his head to look at Harry again his eyes have a slight sheen.
“Thanks, love. It is what it is and it’s all in the past. I now have an incredible team that has my back,” Louis says quietly with a smile. “And you’ve got nothing to worry about. You’ve got bloody Liam Payne in your corner.” Louis’ voice is stronger and there’s a hint of teasing in it. Harry laughs at the statement.
“I was actually just thinking about it. He’s been so great with all of this but then again, we’ve known each other for ages. I know all of his secrets from uni so,” Harry shrugs his right shoulder and gets up from his seat. He gathers their empty plates and carries them to the kitchen. Louis follows him with the wine glasses and the bottle.
“You need…”
“Do you want…”
They start talking at the same time and then stop. They giggle before Louis raises his eyebrows to coax Harry to speak first.
“I was just going to ask if you wanted tea or coffee with the dessert,” Harry says and lifts the box with the eclairs to somehow prove a point.
“I’d love some coffee actually,” Louis answers. “You need some help with the dishes?”
“Nah, I’ll load the dishwasher later. You go and get comfy on the sofa.”
“Alright, ki-,” Louis starts but stops himself. “I mean, Harry,” he continues sheepishly.
Harry doesn’t say anything, he just smiles at Louis. He already misses the way Louis says ‘kitten’ but he did ask Louis not to call him that. So he needs to get over it.
He grabs the coffee grounds and measures them into the coffee maker. He then turns on the tap and runs it for a while to get some cold water. He fills a jug with water and pours it in the coffee maker before flipping the switch. Harry goes over to the cabinet where his mugs are and carefully selects two. For himself he chooses a mug that has a rainbow sheep on it and it says ‘ I’m the rainbow sheep of the family ’. Gemma had gotten it for him after he came out to his family. It is his favourite mug and already has some slight discolouration from constant use. For Louis he picks a mug that Liam bought him. It has a nice floral pattern, the reason why Liam chose it for him, and fancy text that says ‘ Eat a bag of dicks ’. Liam hadn’t noticed the writing until Harry had burst out laughing. He had been mortified but Harry loved the mug. He usually saves it for Liam but something tells him that Louis will appreciate it.
Harry can hear that Louis has turned on the telly and that there’s some kind of footie replay going on. He turns to find Louis sitting on the sofa with his feet propped up on the coffee table. Louis looks like he belongs in Harry’s living room and that’s kind of scary.
Harry looks away while taking a breath. He turns his eyes back to Louis and asks “How do you take your coffee?”
Louis looks up and there’s that smile again. The one Harry thinks is only reserved for him.
“Black, no sugar, love.”
“Alright, you heathen,” Harry scoffs.
“What was that?” Louis asks, raising his eyebrows.
“I said you’re a heathen. Who drinks black coffee with no sugar? Heathens I tell you.”
“Well, it’s better than the oat milk shit that those hipster folk drink,” Louis quips.
Harry feels his cheeks turning red even though he’s in front of an open fridge. His hand is on the oat milk carton he was just about to grab so he can add it to his coffee.
“Oh, don’t tell me. You drink your coffee with oat milk,” Louis says softly.
“It’s better for you than cow milk. And black coffee is just vile,” Harry answers while getting the carton out of the fridge and turning to the counter to get their coffees ready.
“Are we really fighting about coffee and what we drink it with?” Louis asks and gets off the sofa. He walks into the kitchen and places his hand at the small of Harry’s back.
“We’re not fighting,” Harry says haughtily. “We’re bantering.” They kind of are fighting but Harry doesn’t want to admit that. He feels Louis’ gently rub his lower back and all the fight leaves him.
“Okay, if you say so,” Louis agrees. “I can take these to the living room,” he continues and grabs the eclair container.
“Thank you.”
Harry follows Louis and sits beside him on the sofa. He places the mugs on the coffee table and Louis grabs his. When he sees the writing on the mug he laughs.
“Not the kind of mug I imagined you owned. I love it,” he says and takes a sip of his coffee.
“Liam got it for me. He thought it was pretty flower mug and only after I laughed he realised he fucked up. It’s one of my favourites,” Harry tells him while opening the box with the eclairs. He takes one and bites into it. The chocolate on top and the creamy custard filling with the airy choux bun is absolutely perfect. He lets out a pleased moan.
“That good, eh?” Louis says with a rasp in his voice. He clears his throat and lifts the mug back to his mouth. His eyes are trained on Harry’s mouth when Harry licks his lips to get any chocolate that might’ve stuck there.
“These are the best. Go on, you should try one,” Harry says and nudges the box towards Louis.
“Alright, let’s see what the fuss is about,” he chuckles as he goes for the eclair. He takes a bite and covers his mouth with the back of his hand while he chews. His eyes widen and he looks at Harry looking surprised. Once he’s swallowed he takes his hand away. “Oh my god! I’m not that fond of sweet pastries but these are like little drops of heaven.” He takes another bite and soon he’s finished with it. There’s a bit of chocolate stuck in the corner of his mouth and Harry fights the urge to lick it away.
“Nice Friends reference by the way,” Harry giggles. “You got some chocolate there,” he continues and points to Louis’ mouth.
“Oh,” Louis says and licks his lips. He misses the spot. “Did I get it?”
Harry shakes his head and Louis tries to lick it away again but to no avail. It makes Harry laugh.
“Oi, don’t laugh at me. Please help,” Louis pleads with an adorable pout. And who is Harry to object? He lifts his right hand and swipes his thumb on the corner of Louis’ mouth. The chocolate comes off but Harry’s hand lingers on the stubbled cheek. Their eyes are locked to one another and everything in the world stops. Harry doesn’t know how long they stare at each other but they’re brought back by a loud cheer coming from the telly. The footie highlights that Louis had put on earlier is still on. Harry finally lowers his hand and grabs his mug from the table. He realises he still has his half eaten eclair pinched in his fingers, the chocolate on top of it melting and coating his digits, so he fills the awkward silence that has set upon them with chewing and hastily stuffs the rest of it in his mouth.
After he finishes the pastry he clears his throat. “So, you’re a footie fan then?”
Louis seems startled by the sudden sound of Harry’s voice but gains his usual easiness quickly.
“Yeah, played a bit back in the day. If I wasn’t so set on becoming an actor I might’ve gone in that direction,” Louis says nodding.
“My knowledge of the game should make me a better player but it feels as if I have two left feet when I’m on the field,” Harry tells Louis with a giggle.
“We should go sometimes,” Louis says with a smile.
“We really shouldn’t. Not if you were considering it as a career. I would totally embarrass myself,” Harry shakes his head.
“If you say so. You could always come as a cheerleader, though,” Louis agrees with a wink and looks at the clock above the dining table. “It’s starting to get late. Maybe I should go home.”
Harry isn’t ready for him to go. He’s having a great time and he wants Louis to stay. Maybe forever.
“Or we could watch a movie?” he suggests. Louis studies his face and Harry’s hand flies up to his mouth to tug on his lower lip. Just like the night before, Louis is quick to grab his hand. He shakes his head slightly.
“What movie do you have in mind?” Louis asks and he’s holding Harry’s hand in his. Harry looks at their joint hands and he’s having trouble speaking. Louis squeezes his hand and Harry lifts his gaze to Louis’ face. “So the movie?” Louis says softly.
“Right,” Harry shakes himself out of whatever the hell trance he was in. “You can choose, just as long as it's not a scary movie.” Harry gets the remote from the coffee table and clicks onto his Netflix account. He hands the remote to Louis. “I’ll just head to the loo, be right back.”
Harry gets up and he is forced to let go of the hand that’s still holding his. He misses the touch already but he really has to have a wee. He goes down the hall that leads to the bedrooms and the bathroom. While he uses the washroom and relieves himself, he starts to wonder what the hell made him ask Louis to stay and watch a movie. Only a few weeks ago his plan involved indifference and avoidance. What changed? So what if the actor is his soulmate, and uses the nickname Kitten? Louis obviously doesn’t know they’re soulmates yet, so this might not go any further than friendship and Harry still suffering with his unreciprocated crush. He washes his hands before he makes his way back to the living room.
“Do you mind if I go too?” Louis asks when Harry sits back down on the sofa.
“Of course not. Just go straight through and it’s down the stairs and to your left.”
“Cheers, kit- um, love,” Louis says and quickly makes his way down to the bathroom.
Harry stares after him. The sweater Louis is wearing has risen up from the back and has left Louis’ denim covered arse out on view. Harry has no choice but to watch. It’s right there. Gorgeous, plump, looking like it would be a perfect fit for Harry’s hands when Louis has his legs wrapped around his waist.
Harry shakes his head to get rid of the filthy image in his brain. At the very least Louis and him were friends now, right? And friends do not think those types of thoughts about other friends. Trying to distract himself, he collects the empty coffee mugs and the empty bakery box from the coffee table. He walks into the kitchen and starts to load the dishwasher, filling it with their used mugs and plates and cutlery. He’s just started the cycle when Louis comes back. He smiles at Harry and plops down onto the sofa.
“Can I get you something to drink?” Harry asks.
“I’m alright, thanks darling.”
“Okay. So what did you pick?” Harry makes his way back to the living room and sits on the opposite corner from Louis. He tugs his legs under him and turns to look at Louis who looks almost offended. “What?” Harry asks.
“Why are you all the way over there?” Louis inquires. There’s a slight frown on his face.
“What do you mean? This is a perfectly good place to watch a movie.” Harry has no idea what Louis is on about.
“But wouldn’t it be better to be, I don’t know, next to me?” Louis asks and smirks a bit.
“Why? You want a cuddle or something?” Harry quirks his left eyebrow and fights the urge to grin. There’s a small smile lingering on Louis’ lips.
“Actually, that would be great. I’m big on cuddling while watching a movie,” Louis says and winks. That makes Harry laugh but he’s already moving down the sofa to be next to Louis. So much for avoidance AND friendship. Harry is so fucked. Both plans keep getting derailed. Louis lifts his left arm and Harry scoots under it. He rests his head on Louis’ shoulder and some sort of feeling of belonging comes over to him. Like this is a place made just for him. He ducks his chin to his chest and bites his lip so his pleased smile won’t be visible to Louis. Apparently his dimples give him away anyway because the hand that’s resting on his shoulder comes to poke his left cheek.
“Your dimples are cute,” Louis whispers and did Harry already mention he was fucked?
“Thanks,” he whispers back. A bit louder he asks, “So, what are we watching?”
“I couldn’t decide so maybe we’ll just watch some Friends ?”
“Sure, that sounds great. Do we start from the beginning or?”
“The first season isn’t the best, in my opinion. Let’s start with the London one. The one where Ross marries Emily and Monica and Chandler hook up?”
“Oh my god, I love that season!” Harry exclaims. “The ones where Monica and Chandler try to hide their relationship. Comedic gold!”
“Yeah? That’s my favourite too,” Louis says and uses the remote to click on the 5th season of Friends . The famous theme song and beginning credits start after a second of buffering.
*******
Harry wakes up in the middle of the night. The tv is still on and the video is paused because no one has clicked on the “Are you still watching?” notification. Harry blinks a few times and then he’s hit with the knowledge that there’s a warm body partly under him. Louis has his feet still propped up on the coffee table but he’s fast asleep. Harry has thrown his leg over his thighs and is hugging his waist. Louis has one arm around Harry’s shoulder and the other one is clinging onto the arm Harry has over Louis' stomach. His head is bent a bit to the right. His neck will be killing him in the morning if he doesn’t move soon.
Harry extracts himself from Louis and gently shakes him.
“Louis?” he tries but Louis isn’t waking up. Louis’ hair has fallen over his eyes and Harry runs his fingers through it. “Lou, wake up,” he whispers and is rewarded by the cutest nose crunch he’s ever seen. Louis smacks his lips together and lifts his head. He groans and his hand flies to his neck to rub the sore spot.
“Bloody hell, what time is it?” Louis asks quietly with his eyes still closed. Harry glances towards the clock.
“2am. We fell asleep,” Harry states the obvious and rolls his eyes to himself.
“Yeah, kitten. I can see that,” Louis chuckles but immediately clamps his mouth shut. “Sorry. I better be off.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Lou. It’s 2am, the tube isn’t running and the taxi will cost a fortune. You stay here for the night,” Harry says determinedly. He gets up and to prove a point places his hands on his hips. Louis looks at him and it looks like he’s going to fight Harry on this but after a second he deflates.
“Alright, I’ll take you up on the offer. If I can just get a blanket I’ll sleep right here.”
“There you’re being ridiculous again. I have a guest room that has a very comfy bed. Not a chance for you to sleep on the sofa,” Harry scoffs. He holds out his hands and Louis places his own on them. Harry pulls him up with a bit of too much force and Louis stumbles a bit so Harry lets go of his hands and grips his waist in order to steady him. Louis’ hands land on Harry’s chest.
They are so close that Harry can see all the shades of blue in Louis’ eyes. The indigo of the night sky. The pale blue of the grape hyacinth that his mother has in her garden in the spring. The sapphire blue of the precious stone. The aquamarine of the water in the Caribbean. The hues of blue that take his breath away.
Louis’ eyelashes are long and curved up. They’re the most beautiful ones he’s ever seen. They fan across his cheeks when he slowly blinks and it draws Harry’s attention to the freckles on his cheeks. Like constellations. He wishes he’d get the chance to trace and connect them. Make a map of them in his mind.
Harry continues to lower his eyes to Louis’ lips. They’re thin and red. Louis’ tongue slips out to wet them and the movement pulls Harry out of his trance. He flicks his gaze back to Louis’ eyes and pushes him gently away from his own body. Louis’ hands fall from Harry’s torso and Louis is quick to put them in his pockets.
“Um, I’ll show you to the guest room?”
It takes Louis a second to answer and when he does his voice is a little bit deeper and raspier than normally.
“Yeah, yeah, show me the way,” Louis says while nodding. Harry turns and starts towards the hallway.
He stops at the top of the stairs and opens the door to his right. He flicks the light switch and the room is bathed in soft light from the ceiling lamp.
“There’s clean sheets in, I just changed them about a week ago. Towels are in the closet if you’d like to take a shower. If you need any extra blankets or pillows, there’s some in the closet as well.” Harry goes to the said piece of furniture and opens the doors. He’s showing them like he’s the presenter of the game show and Louis laughs softly.
“Alright, thanks. Is it too much to ask if I can borrow a toothbrush?” Louis asks.
“No worries, there’s some in the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom. You go ahead, I’ll just go and make sure I got everything cleaned up in the kitchen.” Harry thumbs awkwardly back to the open door and hurries to the kitchen.
Once he hears the bathroom door close, he releases a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. He braces himself against the kitchen counter and hangs his head. Bloody Louis Tomlinson with his round delicious bum and tired eyes that are going to be the death of Harry. And to think that he actually is his soulmate. Even though he tried, Louis couldn’t stop calling him kitten. Sure, he had stopped himself before the word had escaped but Harry believes that soulmates can’t help but call their other half with the nickname destined to them. He wonders what Louis’ nickname is and if he’s said it yet. Surely Louis would’ve mentioned it, right? What if Louis is his soulmate but he isn’t Louis’? Is that even a possibility? If there’s even a slight chance for that, Harry isn’t going to bring the soulmate shit up to Louis. He’ll just wait to see if Louis does.
He pushes off the counter and turns down the lights in the kitchen and living room. He makes his way to his bedroom and starts to undress. He folds his cardigan and places it on the back of the armchair he has under one of the windows. He pulls his tank top off and throws it in the hamper next to his closet. He pops open the button of his jeans and unzips them before he shimmies out of them. When he bends over to pick them up, he hears a thump and a muffled curse. Harry quickly turns around while clutching his jeans to his chest and he can see Louis with his back to Harry. Oh fuck, he forgot to close the door before getting rid of his clothes.
Louis is rubbing his elbow. He probably hit it and that’s the sound Harry heard. Harry throws his jeans on the bed and grabs his robe. He pulls it on and ties it around his waist. It’s a red silk one and if he wasn’t so worried that Louis hurt himself he might worry about the way he looks in his robe and the fact that Louis just saw him in his delicate panties.
“Lou, oh my god. Are you alright?” Harry hurries to the door. “Do you need an ice pack?” What can Harry say, he becomes quite the mother hen, when someone is potentially hurt.
“Fuck, yeah,” Louis breaths out. He’s shaking his arm and bending it. “I’m fine Harry. Just me being daft and running into the wall.”
“Are you sure? Maybe you really should ice it.” He draws his eyebrows together, concerned.
“It’ll be fine, don’t worry about it,” Louis says softly and reaches out to smooth the line with his thumb. He smiles his Harry smile and then he pulls his hand away as if he had burned it. “Shit, sorry. Didn’t mean to do that.” He crosses his arms over his chest and trains his eyes first on the hem of Harry’s robe that barely covers the tiger tattoo Harry has on his thigh, but quickly ducks his head so he’s looking at his own feet. He looks so flustered and Harry bites his lip to hide his smile once again.
“Lou?” Harry whispers and gently lays his hand on one of Louis’ arms. Louis snaps his head up and looks at Harry startled.
“Yeah?” Louis whispers back.
“It’s okay,” Harry lets the smile take over. “Are you sure you’re alright?” he then asks.
“Me arm’s fine, darling,” Louis answers and his features soften. “I think I ought to get some sleep. Goodnight, k-” Louis looks like he’s about to launch himself out of the front door so Harry squeezes his arm to assure him that everything’s fine.
“Good night, Lou,” Harry breaths out and before he can talk himself out of it, he leans in and places a soft kiss on Louis’ cheek. He doesn’t stay to see if it does anything to Louis. He turns around quickly and closes the door, putting some much needed space between them. As it clicks shut, Harry leans against it and takes a deep breath. Bloody Louis Tomlinson for making Harry a mess.
*******
The weeks after the dinner go by fast. The morning after Harry made them breakfast and they talked about everything but Louis seeing him in panties the night before. Louis left after giving Harry a hug and Harry watched from the window as Louis made his way to the tube station.
The British summer has been uncharacteristically warm so far. They’ve had a couple of weeks of a bit cooler weather with some heavy rain, but all in all it has been lovely. Harry and Louis have been texting often and hanging out with the rest of the cast, and Harry would consider them to be close friends now.
As planned, in the show Harry’s character Jasper is slowly questioning his sexuality and the support he is getting from the audience is mostly positive. They are getting praised online for portraying it genuinely and Harry’s acting is considered authentic.
Louis is a big asset to the show and there are people who have started shipping Jasper and River, calling them Rasper. It’s a relief that people are so accepting. The viewer numbers are rising and the producers are happy.
But now Harry is panicking. He received the script for next week's scenes and there’s a kissing scene. A kissing scene between Harry and Louis. It’s not that Harry didn’t know that there would be one but he sort of forgot. And he really does want to kiss Louis, has done it many times in his dreams, but he doesn’t want their first kiss to be in front of all their colleagues.
To make matters worse, no one knows Louis is Harry’s soulmate. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone about it before he has had a chance to speak to Louis but then again he hasn’t got a slightest idea how to approach the subject with Louis. So basically, Harry is screwed.
He’s sitting alone in his dressing room, flipping through the script and trying to control his panic when there’s a knock on the door.
“Come in,” Harry says without looking at the door.
“Hi, darling,” comes softly once the door is opened. It’s Louis. “Did you get the script?”
Harry raises his head and sees Louis leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. There’s the smile that’s only for Harry on his face. Harry feels his own lips turn up to give a smile to Louis. He wonders if Louis is able to tell that this smile is only reserved for him. Because Harry doesn’t smile this softly to anyone else and he himself knows that. It has also caused Liam to try and smack some sense into him a couple of times. Still Harry can’t help it. He holds up the hand currently containing the papers.
“Yep, got it this morning.”
Louis pushes himself off the door and walks the short distance to the sofa. He sits down at the edge and turns his upper body towards Harry. “So,” is all he says.
“So,” Harry counters. He throws the script on to the coffee table and leans his head on the back of the sofa. He rolls his head to look at Louis. “It seems that Jasper and River are going to kiss.”
Louis chuckles and averts his eyes from Harry’s. He’s looking everywhere but Harry while rubbing his right hand with his left. In the weeks Harry has known Louis, he’s come to realise it’s a soothing gesture as well as a nervous habit. Harry lifts his head and reaches out to intertwine their fingers.
“You alright, Lou?” he inquires softly.
“Um, just wanted to know if you’re okay with it? With the kiss,” Louis gets out with a bit of trouble.
“Well, it was bound to happen with the storyline being what it is. Are you alright with it?” Harry wants to know. What if Louis doesn’t want to kiss him? What if he finds it repulsive?
Before Harry can spiral any further, Louis speaks. “Yeah, comes with the job, doesn’t it?” he says with a laugh. Oh, he thinks it’s just part of the job. Harry kind of deflates with that statement. Louis doesn’t really want to kiss him but will do it only because he gets paid to do it.
“Oh, right.” Harry lets go of Louis’ hands and stands up to go and get some water. Anything to get away from Louis.
“Harry.” Louis’ voice is so damn soft and Harry can’t look at him. He opens the minifridge he has in the corner of the room and grabs a water bottle. He opens it and gulps down half of it before he’s ready to turn around and face the blue-eyed man.
Harry hears Louis getting up from where he was sitting and closing the distance between them. Louis puts his hand on Harry’s arm and gently turns him around. He takes the bottle from Harry and screws the cap back on before he places it on the vanity beside them. He never breaks the gaze he has locked on to Harry’s eyes.
“Harry, don’t you even for one minute think I would only kiss you because I’m getting paid.” How is it possible that he knows exactly what Harry was thinking? Is this part of the whole soulmate thing? Then why doesn’t Harry know whatever the hell Louis is thinking right now?
Harry takes in a shuddering breath. The intensity in Louis’ eyes is overwhelming so Harry has to close his eyes.
“Kitten, I really, really want to kiss you right now. Can I?” Louis whispers. Harry can do nothing but dumbly nod. He can’t even open his eyes. He can feel Louis’ right hand come up to his cheek and he’s gently caressing Harry’s cheekbone with his thumb. Harry leans into the touch and then he can feel Louis’ breath on his lips.
There’s a knock on the door and they both jump at the noice. Harry’s eyes fly open and before he can utter a word, the door opens and Niall is walking into the room.
“H, you want to go for a coffee?” Niall shouts. Bloody loud leprechaun.
Harry and Louis stand with a few feet separating them and still looking into each other's eyes. Neither acknowledges Niall.
“Oh, Tommo! You’re here. Want to grab some coffee with us?” Niall is oblivious of the tension between the other two men. The comment however snaps Louis’ attention. He turns to Niall.
“Nah, I think I’ll head home. Have an early Friday night and all that. Feels like ages since I’ve just hang out by meself.”
Louis waves them goodbye but stops at the door and gives Harry one final look. A look filled with hunger and want. It makes Harry feel electrified. Then Louis nods and raps his knuckles against the door before shutting it. Harry just stares at the closed door. He wants to run after Louis but then there’s a hand on his shoulder and he tears his eyes to look at the blue in Niall’s eyes. It’s nothing compared to Louis’.
“So, coffee, Harry?” Niall asks.
“Yeah, might as well,” Harry agrees with a sigh.
*******
Harry spent a couple of hours with Niall at the coffee shop near the studio. Niall talked his ear off about how he had seen Liam leave Zayn’s dressing room looking freshly fucked. Liam had actually confided in Harry three weeks earlier that Zayn and he were soulmates and they were about to come out as a couple. Harry had been elated but kept this knowledge to himself. He didn’t tell Niall any of this even when he tried to get Harry to spill the tea, which seemed to be the whole reason for Niall suggesting the impromptu coffee date in the first place.
Now he’s walking up the road from the tube station to his flat. The late September night is a bit chilly and the sun is setting. Harry tugs his colourful cardigan tighter around him. When he crosses the street to get to his home, he sees a figure sitting on the steps with their head bowed down. He slows his feet and tries to see who it is. He’s heard from some of the people in the industry that they have had stalkers but Harry hasn’t encountered one before. Maybe this is the time he does.
He doesn’t see the small rock on the pavement and he kicks it against the stonewall surrounding his building. At the sound of it the figure on the steps lifts his head and Harry stops completely.
“Lou? What are you doing here?” Harry asks.
Louis stands up and brushes off any dirt that might’ve been stuck on his bum.
“I need to talk to you,” he says hastily.
“Okay, let’s go up.” Harry gets his keys from his purse and opens the front door. He leads Louis up the stairs to his door and opens it wide so Louis can step inside while Harry jiggles the keys from the lock. After closing the door he places the keys and the purse on the small table beside the door. “Can I get you something?”
Louis shakes his head. His hands are tucked into his hoodie pocket and he looks distressed.
“Are you okay, Lou?”
“You keep calling me that,” is all Louis says with his eyes trained to the floor. “You always call me that.”
“What? Lou? Yeah, doesn’t everyone?” Harry is baffled. He doesn’t understand what Louis means. He toes off his sneakers and sees from the corner of his eye Louis doing the same. They pick up their footwear and line them up by the door.
“Nobody calls me Lou. It’s always Tommo or LT, maybe Lewis every once in a while, but only as a joke. Never Lou.” Louis lifts his head and the intensity in his eyes is kind of scaring Harry.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I won’t call you that anymore. I didn’t mean to offend you,” Harry says quietly. He feels tears prickling and he blinks them away.
“No, kitten, I’m not saying you need to stop. I mean, I don’t want you to stop calling me Lou,” Louis says quickly and closes the space separating them. He takes Harry’s face between his hands and forces Harry to look into his eyes.
“You said kitten,” Harry whispers.
“Sorry, for some reason I can’t seem to stop. I know it makes you uncomfortable, so you can punch me if I ever use it again.” Louis loosens his hold on Harry’s face and Harry is quick to lift his hands to Louis’ wrists to keep him in place.
“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable anymore. It’s grown on me,” Harry chuckles. He keeps drawing circles with his thumbs on the backs of Louis’ hands.
“Yeah?” Louis asks with his Harry smile. Harry smiles back and nods. He leans his forehead against Louis’.
“I think we need to talk,” Harry says in the small space between them.
“Me too. Maybe we should sit down for this?” Well, that can’t be good, can it? But Harry just nods again and lowers their hands. He lets go of Louis’ right wrist and leads him with a tight grip on his left to the sofa. They sit down at the opposite corners and turn to face each other.
Harry hugs himself and waits for Louis to speak.
“Okay,” Louis starts and then stops to take a deep breath. He’s fiddling with a loose thread on Harry’s throw blanket that lays on the back of the sofa. “When I was growing up, I wasn’t that excited about that whole soulmate crap everyone was talking about. I mean, me mum met me dad and fell in love. They weren’t soulmates in the way that they didn’t call each other the nicknames they had on their skin. They just fell in love and had me. Of course that didn’t last and me dad eventually fucked off. Then mum met me stepdad and again fell in love but they weren’t soulmates either. There never was a question if they loved each other and they had the girls and were happy even if others thought they weren’t meant to be. And in the end, they did break up. So that made me think that it doesn’t matter if I ever found me soulmate, love isn’t destined only for soulmates. Mum did eventually find her soulmate but she never regretted loving me dad and stepdad. She says it was a different kind of love but it was real and she has always felt that everything she went through was written in the stars. So I never set out to find me soulmate. I only wanted to find love.” Louis lifts his head and looks straight into Harry’s eyes.
“Then I met you. From the start there was some kind of magnet that pulled me in one direction, to you. First I thought it was only sexual because you’re so hot,” Louis says with a smirk and Harry guffaws. He tries to hide it by smacking his hand to his mouth but he’s too late. Louis snickers but then schools his features. “But then I felt as if I knew you even though I didn’t know you. I could read you from little cues your expressions and body language gave. You didn’t have to say anything and I just sort of knew what was going on inside your head. Not all the time but enough times for it to make me question the feeling. Why was I feeling like that?”
“Why?” Harry whispers and subconsciously leans towards Louis. He stretches his left arm across the back of the sofa and Louis is quick to lace their fingers together. Louis fixes his gaze to their joint hands and continues.
“I realised it after the first week of us working together. That night we went to Leo’s and we shared the car to get home. That’s the first time you called me Lou. And that’s when I knew.” Louis lifts his eyes back to Harry’s and the silence between them is heavy. Harry gulps before speaking.
“Knew what?” His whispered words sound loud in the dim living room. Harry hadn’t turned on the lights when they entered and the only light in the room comes from the small table lamp in the corner that Harry has plugged in with a timer. Shadows play across Louis’ face and he is so beautiful. Almost ethereal with the way the light catches on to the few silver hairs on his temples. He shines bright like a beacon on a lighthouse to guide the ships. To guide Harry home.
“That you, Harry Styles, are my soulmate.” Louis says it so quietly that at first Harry's not quite sure what he said but when it dawns on him that he heard him correctly, his breath hitches.
“I didn’t think I would be,” Harry says. He can’t tear his eyes from Louis. “I wanted to be but I honestly thought I wouldn’t be. That I’d be destined to pine for you even though I knew you were mine.”
“I was your what?” Louis wants to know and Harry realises that he didn’t use the word.
“My soulmate,” Harry breathes out.
Harry watches as Louis’ face morphs from apprehension to confusion to pure happiness. The smile Louis gives Harry would make him fall on to his knees if he wasn’t currently sitting down.
“Yeah?” Louis asks in a whisper and Harry ducks his head with a bashful smile before nodding. “Come here,” Louis says and tugs Harry’s hand that he’s still holding. Harry goes easily and settles onto Louis’ lap, straddling him. He wraps his arms around Louis’ neck and caresses the nape of hair in the back. “I don’t think I’ll ever forgive Niall for interrupting us earlier,” Louis grumbles while firmly grabbing Harry’s hips. Harry can’t help but giggle.
“No Irish here right now, is there?” Harry gets out between the bursts of laughter. He calms himself and looks into the ocean that is Louis’ eyes. “Lou?”
“Yes, kitten?”
“Please, kiss me.”
Louis trails his hands up Harry’s torso and gently cradles Harry’s face like delicate porcelain. He tilts Harry’s head just a little bit and with an agonisingly slow pace brings their faces closer. His soft lips meet Harry’s fleetingly before he puts a little more force into it and Harry melts. All Harry can think is “ this is what it’s supposed to feel like, this feels like home ” when his lips move against Louis’. None of the kisses he’s had before even compare to this. The way it is brand new, yet somehow familiar, is incomprehensible.
Harry tries to get even closer to Louis even though he’s literally in his lap. Harry threads his fingers in Louis’ hair and pulls him deeper into the kiss. He parts his lips and swipes his tongue against Louis’ lower lip. Louis’ mouth falls open easily and Harry dives in. Their tongues explore each other and Harry shivers. They keep kissing until they’re both breathless. Harry leans his forehead to Louis’ and keeps his eyes closed.
“Fucking hell, kitten. All those times I imagined kissing you, they didn’t even come close,” Louis breathes into the sliver of space between them. Harry giggles and buries his head in the crook of Louis’ neck. Louis runs his hands on the expanse of Harry’s back while Harry snakes his arms behind Louis’ back so he can hug him tight.
“So you’ve been thinking about kissing me then?” Harry asks but it comes out muffled because his mouth is pressed against Louis’ shoulder.
“That’s not all I’ve been thinking,” Louis says darkly. It makes Harry shoot his head up and look at Louis with wide eyes. There’s hunger in Louis’ gaze and Harry can’t help but dive right back in and continue kissing him.
Their hands roam all over each other's bodies and Harry can feel Louis’ arousal under his bum. He rolls his hips experimentally and swallows Louis’ answering moan. Fire lights itself inside of Harry and he feels the need to get Louis closer. Feel his skin against his own. They really need to get all these layers of clothing out of the way.
Harry doesn’t stop kissing Louis while he tries to shed his cardigan off. Louis comes to help and soon Harry is able to throw it on the sofa next to them. Louis tugs his t-shirt out of his trousers and his warm hands sneak under the cotton. He trails his hands across Harry’s abdomen and to his back. Harry breaks the kiss in order to lift his arms and Louis gets the hint and pulls the shirt off. It flies, landing on top of the cardigan.
Louis stops every movement and just looks at Harry’s exposed upper body. It goes on for quite a while and Harry starts to feel self conscious.
“Lou?” he asks with a quiver in his voice.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Louis says in a daze. He gently caresses Harry’s abs and sides but then he stops again. His eyes land on the left side of Harry’s chest and quickly flick them up to meet Harry’s before they’re back on the writing under Harry’s peck. He lifts his right hand and with his thumb he traces the letters there while his palm rests on Harry’s ribs. “I can’t imagine how it has felt to have a name you hate staring back at you every time you look in the mirror.” Louis shakes his head minutely. “I really hope you don’t hate it anymore,” he then whispers.
“I don’t,” Harry is quick to answer. “Don’t want anyone else to call me that though.” Harry scrunches his nose at the thought of someone else saying that to him and Louis has the audacity to laugh. “Heyyy!” Harry drawls and smacks Louis’ shoulder. When his hand lands he realises that Louis is still wearing his hoodie and that’s actually not fair at all.
“Why am I the only one shirtless? Get this off,” he says and tugs at the green hoodie.
“Alright, alright,” Louis laughs and sits up straight so Harry can drag the garment off of Louis’ body. The hoodie gets thrown on the same pile as Harry’s clothes.
Coming face to face to shirtless Louis Tomlinson is close to a religious experience. At least that’s what Harry thinks. He is ready to bow down and thank all the gods and goddesses in the universe. Tanned skin littered with tattoos. Toned chest and abdomen, yet there’s softness around the lower tummy. Tiny waist and trail of hair disappearing into his trousers. Harry’s fingertips trace patterns across Louis’ torso leaving goosebumps behind.
Harry can’t seem to get enough. He wants to touch everywhere. Wants to feel the softness of Louis’ skin under his palms, wants to know every corner of this man’s body. Lay kisses on it, trace the tattoos with his tongue, feel the coarseness of the body hair with his finger tips. He flattens his hands on Louis’ chest and skims them over to his shoulders and down to his biceps. Harry’s gaze follows the movement of his hands but then his eyes land on Louis’ left pec and the word under it. Lou . Harry traces the letters with his right index finger and he lifts his eyes to look at Louis.
“I really thought everyone called you Lou. It feels so natural to me but guess it’s a soulmate thing,” he says while stroking his finger across the word. Harry knows there must be a goofy smile on his face but looking at Louis, he can see he’s not the only one.
“No, only you. Some have tried but only because they saw it. They never said it before the clothes came off.” At the thought of someone else seeing Louis naked Harry again scrunches his nose. He’s not inexperienced himself so it’s not rational but he can’t help it. The idea that he’ll be the last one feels right.
“You mentioned something about imagining doing things with me?” Harry tries to sound indifferent but his voice is a bit higher than normal because of the anticipation.
“I did,” Louis says while he nods. He licks his lips before he continues. “I want to lay you down and kiss all over your naked body. Trace all your tattoos and scars with my lips.” Louis leans closer to Harry and brushes his lips on his chin. He peppers the jawline with kisses and nips at his earlobe. Hot breath tickles Harry’s ear before Louis speaks. “Then I’m going to make you feel so good, make you feel me for days.”
“Fuck,” Harry breathes. He turns his head and locks their lips in a passionate kiss. It’s messy and Harry absolutely loves it. There’s still more to do so Harry detaches himself from the addictive mouth and scrambles up from Louis’ lap. “Bedroom, now,” he says and now his voice is deeper and even he himself can feel the heat from his own gaze.
Louis is on his feet quickly but doesn’t make a move towards the hallway. Instead he stands before Harry and grabs his hips. He leans up for another kiss and trails his hands down to Harry’s thighs. He taps the left thigh twice before he’s hauling Harry up. Harry has no choice but to jump and wrap his legs around Louis’ waist. He lets out a nervous laugh and folds his arms around Louis’ neck.
“Please, tell me that you’ve got me,” Harry pleads when Louis starts walking towards the bedroom.
“I’ve got you, kitten. I’ll never let you fall.” Harry basks in the promise that’s in those words.
Harry is quite impressed how easy it is for Louis to carry him. He’s a couple of inches taller than Louis and his long limbs should make it awkward but Louis carries him effortlessly and they make it safely into the bedroom. Louis lays him on the bed and Harry scoots up so he’s in the middle of it and stretches to the side so he can turn on the bedside lamp. He feels Louis’ eyes on him and turns back to lay down on the mountain of pillows.
“You are so beautiful,” Louis declares, standing beside the bed. “I remember when I first saw you. It was a couple of years ago at some award show. I was there with a date but I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you.” Louis climbs on the bed and straddles Harry’s thighs. He smooths his hands on Harry’s abs and continues to talk. “Your hair was longer then, down to your shoulders. The curls bounced when you laughed at something someone next to you said. I wanted to run my fingers through them. I wanted them tickling my thighs when you went down on me.” Louis’ fingers are on the button of Harry’s trousers and he toys with it without opening it. “You had your shirt almost completely unbuttoned and I could see this peeking out.” Louis taps the moth tattooed on Harry’s torso. “Could also see these.” Louis cups Harry’s pecs and leans down to kiss the sternum. “Wanted to have my mouth wrapped around your nipples.” Louis licks the right nipple before taking it into his mouth. Harry arches off the bed and bites his lower lip to keep any noises inside. He still can’t help the little desperate whine that escapes.
Louis lets go of the now raised bud and reaches up to gently tug Harry’s lip from between his teeth. “Don’t. I want to hear every sound. Want to hear how I make you feel.” They lock their eyes and Harry releases his lip.
“Please,” is all he can say. He doesn’t know what it is he’s asking, but trusts that Louis does.
Louis nods and kisses Harry. He keeps it tender yet firm before moving down to kiss Harry’s jaw and neck. He nips at the skin with his teeth and Harry whimpers. He feels as if his skin is on fire and all that Louis does only makes the flames grow higher.
“My date wasn’t impressed. She huffed and left. Though I didn’t realise it until you left my field of vision.” Louis keeps on peppering Harry’s skin with light kisses and occasional bites while he keeps talking. “Then I got to talk to you. You were a little ray of sunlight and I wanted to soak in your warmth. As you know that didn’t happen. After that I always tried to find you whenever I went to any of the industry events but you were nowhere to be seen.” Louis has now made his way down to Harry’s belly button. Harry is breathless but he has to say something. He has to come clean about the last two years.
“I… I avoided you.” Louis suddenly lifts his head and stares at Harry with a frown.
“You avoided me?”
Harry nods. “I didn’t know you and you still made me feel like I was the most important person in the room when we talked. I… um, guess I couldn’t handle that and tried to stay away from you in an effort to hide my crush.”
Louis smiles and goes in for a kiss. Harry threads his fingers in Louis’ hair. He can’t believe he’s actually kissing Louis. It’s all he wants to do from now on. Every day, every minute, every second. For eternity.
Louis lets his fingers trail back down to Harry’s trouser button and flicks it open. He detaches himself away from Harry’s mouth and moves to Harry’s side so he can unzip the trousers. Harry lifts his hips in order for Louis to remove them along with Harry’s socks. They get flown off the bed.
“No panties tonight, hmm?” Louis quirks one brow and smirks. Harry’s hands fly up to cover his face.
“No. Um, I only wear them occasionally. Is… is that a turnoff?” he asks hesitantly.
“Kitten, please. When I saw you wearing them the night I stayed over, I couldn’t tear my eyes off of you. It took me a while to get me senses back and then I tried to hurry away and you know how that went, with me busted elbow,” Louis chuckles.
Harry lowers his hands to his chest and locks eyes with Louis. “I knew you were ogling me,” he says mischievously. Louis laughs.
“Can’t blame a bloke for admiring when before his eyes is a work of art,” he says with a wink.
“Guess not,” Harry shrugs and reaches out to the string that’s holding Louis’ joggers up. There’s a telltale bulge in the front and Harry’s mouth waters. He tugs the knot open and Louis gets up from the bed to shed them to the ground. He tosses his pants in the process and Harry just stares.
Louis’ cock is thick and angry red at the tip. It curves slightly to the right and up to Louis’ belly button. Louis takes it in his hand and sighs while leisurely stroking it. Harry wants to smack Louis’ hands away so he could touch it instead.
There’s a bead of precome at the tip and Harry sits up so he can lean in and lick it away. But before he can, Louis steps back and smirks. Harry pouts.
“Come on, Lou. Don’t tease. I want to touch,” Harry pleads.
“Not until you’re naked too,” Louis counters and Harry doesn’t hesitate. He rids himself of his pants and sits back on his haunches in the bed. His cock stands proud facing Louis.
“Gorgeous,” Louis breathes and steps to the bed. He gets one knee on the bed and leans in for a kiss. Harry is more than happy to oblige. He plants his hands on either side of Louis’ face but doesn’t keep them there for long. He trails them down Louis’ body and settles them on his waist. He lets himself fall to the side grabbing Louis and making them both tumble down on the bed. Louis’ right leg falls between Harry’s and Harry rolls his hips to get some friction to his cock. He breaks the kiss because he can’t help but throw his head back on to the pillows and moan. Louis takes advantage of the position and starts attacking Harry’s stretched neck with love bites, leaving bruises on the skin. Harry has a fleeting thought about being sorry towards their makeup artists who will need to cover any marks on Monday but in the end he doesn’t care. Not when Louis is rutting against his thigh and making sounds of pleasure in his ear.
Louis raises his head from where he was making a good job of marking Harry and whispers in his ear. “What do you want, kitten? Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”
Everything . That’s what Harry wants to say but maybe it’s too soon.
“You, in me,” Harry pants. “Please, fuck me.”
“Shit,” Louis says and rests his forehead on Harry’s shoulder. After taking a deep breath he raises his head and looks straight into Harry’s eyes. “You sure?”
“Yes, Lou. Please, I want you to fuck me.” Harry isn’t ashamed to beg. He has his breathtaking soulmate in his bed. They are both hard and there’s nothing he wants more. He needs Louis in him.
“Alright. Do you have lube and condoms?”
Harry stretches his left arm to the bedside table and opens the top drawer. He quickly finds what he is looking for and places the condom next to him on the bed and the bottle of lube in Louis’ hand. Louis lifts one eyebrow and the corner of his mouth but says nothing. He sits up and taps Harry’s left thigh. Harry parts his legs and Louis lays between them. He kisses Harry’s left inner thigh and makes more marks there before switching to the other side to give it the same treatment. Louis opens the lube and pours it generously on his fingers. He rubs the liquid to warm it up.
Then there’s a finger circling Harry’s rim. He goes rigid for a little while, before he relaxes. Louis keeps smothering his thighs with wet kisses and rubs soothing circles on his hip with his free hand. He puts some pressure on the finger but doesn’t breach the tight ring just yet. No, he’s a bloody tease who doesn’t seem to understand that Harry is dying here. He burns for Louis and that wanker is teasing him.
“Louiiis,” Harry whines.
“Yes, kitten? Something wrong?” There’s a smirk evident in his voice and Harry might hate him a little.
“Stop being a twat and get on with it,” Harry huffs and lifts his head to look down at Louis. He hopes he looks menacing but he probably looks more fucked out than anything else, and they haven’t even started yet.
“As you wish,” Louis murmurs and finally lets his middle finger enter Harry’s hole.
It’s always a weird feeling at first whether it’s his own finger or someone else's. It takes a while but soon the weirdness turns into pleasure and Harry relishes in the feeling of having Louis’ finger pumping in and out of him.
Harry chances a look at Louis. His eyes are fixed where his finger is entering Harry. There’s only a sliver of the blue to be seen. Rest of his eyes are swallowed by the black of his pupils. Harry can’t help but preen in the realisation that he made Louis this aroused. Maybe Louis is able to feel Harry’s gaze because he is suddenly staring straight into his eyes. Harry swallows and licks his lips.
“I want to get my mouth on you, kitten. Can I?” Louis says with a deep rasp colouring his voice.
“Fuck. Yes, but I might come?”
“No, you won’t. Not until I’m in you,” Louis commands and takes hold of Harry’s long cock with his free hand. Without breaking eye contact, Louis leans and licks the precome from the tip. He twirls his tongue around the head before he takes it in his mouth. The feeling of a wet and warm mouth around Harry’s dick is indescribable. He moans unabashedly and his right hand flies to Louis’ hair. He’s not trying to push or guide Louis in any way, he just needs to have a hold of something to ground himself.
Louis’ tongue toys with the sensitive spot right under the swollen head and Harry’s hips have a mind of their own in the way that he tries to get his cock further into Louis’ mouth. That’s not going to happen though because Louis is pinning his pelvis down to the mattress with his free arm.
Harry can’t help the cries he lets out and the answering hum around his cock makes him believe that Louis is pleased. It’s not something Harry has given much thought but feeling the vibrations of approval make him preen under the silent compliment. Pleasing Louis is going to be his mission in life.
Soon Harry asks for another finger and not long after that Louis adds a third one without asking. Harry feels amazing with Louis’ mouth enveloping him and fingers in his arse but he’s not full enough. He needs Louis’ cock inside.
Harry searches for the condom he laid next to him and when he finds it, he lets out a little cheer. Hearing that Louis lifts off of Harry’s dick and starts tugging it slowly. Harry has to focus to get any words out.
“I… I’m re… ready, Lou. Will you, oh my god , please fuck me?”
Louis retreats his fingers and lets go off Harry’s cock. He sits up on his legs and reaches for the condom Harry is holding.
“Nah-ah, I get to put it on. You didn’t let me touch before so this’ll only be fair,” Harry says as he raises into a sitting position. Louis simply stays put between Harry’s spread legs waiting for him to unwrap the condom. He smooths his hands on both of Harry’s thighs while he watches Harry tear the wrapper and pull the condom out.
Finally, Harry is able to wrap his long fingers around Louis’ neglected cock and Louis hisses at the contact. He ducks his head and inhales a breath through gritted teeth. Harry tugs at Louis’ cock a few times and watches carefully every expression on Louis’ face. He wants to learn what Louis likes, what his face looks like when he’s deep in the passion, what it looks like when he comes. He digs his blunt finger nail into the slit and Louis throws his head back with a moan. Harry marvelles at the sounds coming from Louis because of him.
He takes a firm hold of Louis’ dick and rolls the condom on. Louis is looking at the motion and Harry searches for the lube that Louis had discarded earlier but doesn’t find it.
“Fuck. Where did you put the lube, Louis?”
It takes a while before Louis can comprehend what Harry is asking and then they are both looking for the missing bottle. Louis finds it under the pillow and Harry grabs it from him in order to cover Louis’ cock with it.
“You know what? We should get tested so I can take all of you bare,” Harry says conversationally while stroking Louis.
“Shit. Um, yeah. I’ll call my doctor first thing tomorrow,” Louis answers frantically and Harry giggles. He leans up to kiss Louis and is rewarded with a tongue in his mouth.
Louis lays Harry back down gently so he can rest his head on the pillow. He leans on his left elbow that he places next to Harry’s shoulder and gives a sweet kiss. Too sweet for the position they’re in. Harry melts into it.
He can feel Louis’ cock nudging at his entrance and he spreads his legs just a little bit more to accommodate Louis. They brake the kiss and Louis looks at Harry with a question in his eyes. Harry nods and then Louis is pushing in.
While Louis did a great job preparing Harry, he is thick and Harry’s breath hitches. The stretch is deliciously overwhelming and Harry wraps his legs around Louis’ waist. Louis enters him with small thrusts until he is completely sheathed in Harry’s warmth. He buries his head in the crook of Harry’s neck and shoulder and his wet mouth attaches itself onto Harry’s skin. Harry tries to comprehend all the feelings running through his mind but they’re jumbled together and all he can identify is unbelievable contentment. Like everything he ever wanted and needed is right here. Everything he never knew he was missing. This is everything, Louis is everything .
“I know, baby. You’re everything too, kitten.” Harry hadn’t even realised he had said it outloud but Louis echoing his sentiment makes Harry glad he did. He drags Louis from his neck for a kiss before he urges him to move.
Louis sets out a slow pace and keeps kissing Harry. Harry trails his hands on Louis’ back and shoulders and up to his hair. He needs to feel him under his hands.
When the kiss turns more like them panting into each other’s mouths than actually kissing, Louis ups the speed. He also starts talking, mumbling all sorts of praise.
“Taking me so well, my darling. Never knew it could feel like this, you’re so perfectly tight around me. Making me feel so good, kitten,” he breathes between thrusts. His cock almost brushes Harry’s prostate but then Louis changes the angle just a little bit and he hits it dead on. Harry screams.
“There, Lou, fuck! OH MY GOD!”
Harry lets his hands roam to Louis’ arse and he was right. It fits perfectly in his hands. He tries to pull Louis even closer and Louis snakes his right hand between them. He curls his fingers around Harry’s cock and starts to stroke him in time of his thrusts. Harry already feels the warmth gathering in his gut and his balls tighten. He is so close, he just needs a final push to get there.
“Come for me, kitten,” is being whispered in his ear and that’s it. Harry comes with a shout. His come shoots up to his belly and he can see stars, a whole galaxy, behind his closed eyelids. Louis’ movements become erratic and just before Harry starts to feel oversensitive, Louis comes too. He stills completely and then collapses onto Harry. Harry wraps his hands tightly around Louis’ back. He doesn’t care that his come is between them and that Louis is going soft inside him. He needs to be holding Louis, holding onto him so Harry doesn’t float away. The weight on top of him tries to leave but Harry only hugs tighter. Arms and legs around his boy Harry is the happiest and more satisfied he has ever been.
After cuddling for a while Louis gently coaches Harry to get cleaned up. They get into the shower together and help each other to wash all the sweat and come off. Harry asks Louis to wash his hair and when his expert fingers slightly scratch Harry’s scalp, he can’t help the content hum leaving his mouth. Almost a purr.
“You truly are a kitten, baby,” Louis laughs before he urges Harry under the warm spray to wash away the shampoo.
They dry themselves and then get back to the bedroom. Louis helps Harry change the sheets before they crawl under the covers naked. Louis lays down on his back and stretches his left arm for Harry. He uses Louis’ bicep as a pillow and cards his fingers through the coarse hair on Louis’ chest. Louis lets the fingers on the arm that’s under Harry trail up and down Harry’s left arm.
“Lou?” Harry asks in the dimness of the bedroom. They turned down the bedside lamp but there’s some light coming from the window where they forgot to shut the blinds. Harry’s too comfortable to get up and shut them. The sun rises from the other side of the flat anyway.
“Yes, kitten?”
“This is it, isn’t it? I mean we are soulmates so this is it, right?”
“Yes, baby, this is it. You and me, until the end.”
Harry smiles and leaves a close mouthed kiss on Louis’ chest, right over his heart. He smooths his hand over Louis’ stomach and settles it on his waist to hug him tight. He throws his left leg across Louis’ thighs. Louis’ right hand comes to grasp Harry’s left elbow while with his left arm he tightens the hold on the younger man. They fall asleep holding each other and with matching smiles on their faces.
*******
BREAKING NEWS:
Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson confirm they are soulmates
October 28th, 2024 - Anna McLean
The producers of the hit soap Story Of My Life issued a statement today that their cast members Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are soulmates. They are in a relationship but the pair says they don’t want to share their private life any further. They wish for the media and fans to respect their request for privacy.
Styles, 26, and Tomlinson, 28, met earlier this year when the latter joined the cast of Story Of My Life. Their characters Jasper Walker and River Hawkins have also been involved in a whirlwind romance and the fans are delighted by the fact that real life has imitated art.
In the same statement it was announced that Zayn Malik, who plays Storm Hawkins on the show, and Liam Payne, Mr. Styles’ agent, are also confirming their soulmate status.
The spokesperson for Story Of My Life says that everyone in the SOML family are happy for the two couples and wish them a lifetime of happiness.
We here at SoapSpot are beyond thrilled that Rasper has found each other in real life. All the love for the happy couples!
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