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In this world, there are many strange things that can not be explained by science or rational logic! Ghosts, Perfect Girls, spirits, demons, and many more- wait, what was the second one?
We open on a quaint office known as the Spirit's and Such Consultation Office, located in Seasoning City. Here we meet its residents having a quiet day, which is a solid half of their days, at the office.
It is approximately 5:41pm and 23 seconds.
The eldest resident at age 28, Reigen Arataka, is the founder and boss of the agency. He is the self-proclaimed Greatest Psychic of the 21st Century . He has shown little to back this claim up, but his student never fails to show unwavering belief in this obviously false claim. Furthermore, he runs almost every aspect of this agency and is the primary one to speak to customers.
Due to his silver tongue and fantastic people skills, even when they are given problems unrelated to ghosts, he can satisfy customers into becoming regulars
By all accounts, he looks rather unassuming if not like a blatant con man. Logically, there should be nothing that makes him likable or appealing to his two employees. However, due to his unique way with words and unexpected kindness, he has gained the wholehearted trust of his student and the extremely conditional respect of his other employee.
The second-eldest employee, with quite a large age gap, is the most Perfect Girl in the world. That is not an exaggeration. Teruhashi Kokomi, currently age 16, has known since the moment she was born that she was perfect and has carried herself as such ever since.
On the surface, she is the exact opposite of Reigen Arataka. The fact she is working at a consultation office for spirits (and such) should cause any sane man or woman to break out into sobs for her sanity and close proximity to a con man.
This is an unfounded worry.
Unknown to anyone but herself (and a certain pink-haired boy), Teruhashi Kokomi was an incredibly cunning and cutthroat young woman. She was able to hide it significantly better than Reigen since people were naturally inclined to do whatever she wanted, but she had not grown up blind.
When everyone within a hundred-yard radius of you fawns and ogles over you while constantly saying how perfect you are, you quickly learn your worth. And young Teruhashi Kokomi certainly did. Growing up she learned exactly what words to say to get someone taken by a mob, how to tell if someone was lying to her, if she was being stalked, and many more horrific things that a little girl shouldn’t have to know.
(She has yet to realize how deeply horrifying this is for a young girl to know. This will be important but later. )
(Not in this story. Just generally much later)
With her silver tongue rivaling Reigen’s trained and genuine charisma, she had thought that she would work the front when she first asked for a job. After all, she was beautiful enough that with her as a receptionist, customers would flock there! She was wrong for one of the few times in her life.
She attempted to, on her first day, but after an older customer spent the entire consultation attempting to ask her out, Reigen put her slightly away from the customers so that they didn’t immediately see her face if she didn’t actively move toward them.
She still didn’t fully understand why he was making such a large deal over an ordeal that happened to her regularly. She doesn’t know his reaction is because this isn’t a normal thing for a teenage girl to experience. Reigen does not know that the reason this encounter did not faze her was because it happens hourly though he remains concerned nonetheless.
This level of mutual obliviousness is only interrupted by the third resident of the building. A terrifyingly powerful psychic with poor control over his emotions. An individual by the name of Mob.
Actually, his name was Kageyama Shiego, but Mob was a nickname that caught on. He was a middle school student at Salt Middle School and was a very monotone young boy.
Currently, it was just Reigen and Teruhashi in the office. Mob had been there for a short while but had been sent home to rest after it became clear that he was still tired from P.E. class and wouldn’t be able to do work. Thought, it’s not as if Reigen made Mob do work that wasn’t related to exorcising spirits.
Despite his inherent scumbag nature, he was hesitant to give either of his employees work that they wouldn’t be able to handle. So he primarily made Mob work on his homework and had Teruhashi work more on proofreading their social media site if she completed her own homework before arriving (Which she almost always did as was expected of the Perfect Pretty Girl).
Right now, it was a very pleasant day in the office. Teruhashi was rewriting some of their old advertisements and working on a new one that could be printed out on their faulty old printer. Mob had attempted to fix it yesterday with his powers and hadn’t succeeded much to his disappointment.
Teruhashi was still adjusting to Mob’s powers but the boy was so mild-mannered and polite that it made it quite difficult to actually be afraid of him.
Additionally, her beauty made her synonymous with Jesus but if he had blue hair. So between her being blessed by God and Mob’s powers being powerful enough to destroy Japan (probably), they were mostly on equal footing.
She looked up from her computer and stretched her arms, keeping an eye on Reigen in the corner of her eye. No reaction. For the past few weeks, she had been slowly testing the limits to see what he was like. Most men fawned over her as if she was an actual goddess but Reigen remained an odd exception.
He made the remark once that she was incredibly pretty and had predictably said ‘Oh wow’ upon seeing her as everyone did but had done nothing else.
Teruhashi may have been the perfect pretty girl, but contrary to popular belief, her primary personality trait, barring pettiness, was stubbornness. She was committed to figuring out exactly what Reigen wanted with her and wouldn’t rest until she knew his exact, almost definitely impure, intentions.
Unfortunately for Teruhashi, Reigen Arataka was not a pedophile. Reigen Arataka, even though the man regularly attempts to scam people out of their money and has been lying to a middle schooler for some years, was not a bad person at heart. (This is something that only Mob is aware of, however)
Reigen may have been initially surprised by Teruhashi Kokomi’s beauty, but as he was not attracted to little girls in any sense of the word, he immediately got over it and went into customer service mode. After the first interaction, he witnessed a man older than him leering at a teenage girl, he did his best to ensure that it wouldn’t happen again.
As it stands, Teruhashi Kokomi was unaware of the fact that Reigen genuinely cared about her well-being with no regard for her beauty (or unsavory intent) and Reigen Arataka is unaware that Teruhashi thinks he has any non-platonic intent to her.
This misunderstanding has been slowly simmering since Teruhashi first started working there a few weeks ago. Uninterrupted, it’s likely this would’ve slowly begun boiling until it exploded in a dramatic confrontation involving tears, yelling, psychic powers, and an angry mob or two.
Luckily for them, that was not what happened because that misunderstanding was cleared up today.
Teruhashi Kokomi stretched, taking a break from where she had been carefully adding subliminal messages to their website, and turned to her boss, “Oh, Reigen-san. Do you mind if I take a break..?”
Here Teruhashi was employing a careful trap. This was the first time she’s asked directly for a break without using Mob’s own wellbeing as an excuse. She’s carefully making herself seem more pitiful to see what Reigen’s reaction to her will be. Will he rise to the bait and do what she’s expecting (Whine or otherwise make an excuse for her to keep working?)
Reigen glanced up from his computer, “What? Of course, you don’t need to ask me. Go ahead and take ten.”
Oh! A skilled parry from Reigen Arataka and he doesn’t even know he’s playing.
Regardless, Teruhashi’s poker face reveals nothing as she internally curses at him for not taking the bait. She carefully begins to lay her next trap with a sweet smile.
“Ah, thank you, Reigen-san! Do you mind if I-” The girl cuts herself off when she gets a notification on her phone. Mentally, she begins cursing profusely at what idiot could be texting her right now when she is in the middle of laying one of her traps.
Teruhashi looks down at her phone and instantly pales. This catches the attention of Reigen who frowns and stands up a bit, “Hey kid, you alright?”
The sound of another person's voice spurs Teruhashi into action from where she had been staring at her phone in open horror. In her panic, she makes a simple but extremely unmistakable error.
She flounders.
“What? Oh, yes! I’m fine! Um. I just to, I mean I just need to-” The girl begins picking her things, frantically stuffing them into her bag with no care for her usual organization.
Reigen properly stands up from his desk and walks over, only absentmindedly glancing at the phone before focusing his entire attention on the teenager in front of him.
“Teruhashi-, kid , look at me.” He says in as gentle but stern voice he can manage. It only works for a second, making her instinctively pause and look at him in a panic. But a second is all Reigen Arataka needs.
After all... for all his lies, his best skill is
People!
“Listen to me. Take a deep breath.” The man begins to make overexaggerated breaths, making sure to make them as physically involved as possible.
Teruhashi Kokomi has gone through many different challenging situations since she was young, but this was the first time since the tricycle incident of ‘09, that she’s allowed herself to be upset in front of other people. With that being said, that means;
Teruhashi Kokomi has never been genuinely comforted when upset in her entire life.
Watching her boss do objectively ridiculous motions and hand gestures to show that he’s breathing in and out, her mind is in a state of intense shock at the entire situation, and she copies him.
Once Reigen manages to get Teruhashi to visibly calm down, he opens his mouth to ask something. That something could be anything at all. Place your bets!
A.“Who was the person on the phone?”
B. “What was that?! You’re not perfect anymore, get out of my office! I’m telling the news!”
C.“Your car's extended warranty is up. Are you going to renew that?”
D.“Are y-” [Gets interrupted by frantic knocking]
If you guessed D: “ “Are you-” [Gets interrupted by frantic knocking] ” You would be correct!
Reigen takes one look at the door, another at Teruhashi who is quickly descending back into a panic attack and hurries her into the backroom.
“Alright, I’ll deal with this, you stay here and um.” The man flounders in the face of a teenager on the verge of tears and knocking that is getting increasingly faster as pass, “Eat something? I guess. Or you can just sit and de-stress!”
Without another word, the con man quickly closes the door, takes a deep breath, and opens the front door.
Any greeting he could have is stopped immediately by two factors.
- The fact that the man almost shoulder-checks him to get into the room
This itself is incredibly rude and something Reigen was not expecting but it is not what ultimately caused the man to be rendered speechless. After all, it's not the first time he dealt with customers who weren't exactly hospitable. The primary reason was...well.
2. The man’s appearance
You see, this man…was extremely attractive (and looked weirdly similar to someone Reigen had seen before)
(The man will only realize who this is 71 hours later when watching a movie rerun and seeing the main actor. He switches to the next channel)
He was attractive to the point that it almost seemed unearthly. Reigen had only seen this level of raw beauty harnessed into a human vessel in one other person who looked remarkably similar to this man.
For you see, this man is none other than Teruhashi Makoto.
Any Saiki K fans most likely groaned (or screamed) in either dread or annoyance upon reading this man's name. This is the correct reaction.
For those (Mob Psycho only) fans who have the pleasure of not knowing who this individual is, let me enlighten you. On top of being a famous actor he is also-
.
.
.
(Is this a dramatic enough pause?)
.
.
.
-a pervert.
You could call him a ‘sis-con’ but that takes away from some of the true revolting nature that he shamelessly excludes.
On top of being a shameless pervert and pedophile, he’s also incredibly rude.
This specific aspect of his truly awful personality is revealed almost instantly as he begins demanding to know where his sister is
“Where is my Kokomi, you miserable charlatan?!” God, he speaks. His voice is truly as awful as everything else about him.
“Sir, sir , calm down. Can you tell me what you’re looking for? Or who you’re looking for?” Oh, Reigen…both the fans and Kokomi (who’s very much spying from the other room, looking in through a crack in the door, while doing something on her phone) applaud you for trying to keep the situation calm, but there’s no use reasoning with a man like this.
“ Kokomi! My sister! The tracker in her phone said she was here,-” Ew. “-and she’s been avoiding my texts recently!”
“Listen, sir, if you just calm down we can talk abou- Did you just say tracker ?” Ah, it seems like Reigen is beginning to realize, “Why is there a tracker in her phone?”
Oh no, Reigen, don’t ask-
“Because I need to keep tabs on my future wife, of course!” Ah. There it is.
“What.” This is less of a question and more of an involuntary reaction to Makoto. But even if it was a question in some form, unfortunately, there is no answer to that. Except if you asked ‘What did he just say?’ where the answer would be ‘Exactly what you thought he did’.
“Ah, well you see-” The following rant he goes on could be transcribed, but there's no writer in the world willing to genuinely write it out.
You get the gist though. There is quite a bit of creepy stuff involved in this. Jeez, he just made a third remark about being fated soulmates with his sister.
However, by the bored and embarrassed look on poor Kokomi’s face (who is still typing on her phone, safely hidden by a door), it seems as if this is a common rant that she’s heard. The poor dear.
…seriously, he’s been taking for a minute. Someone should punch this guy.
It’s a wonder it hasn’t happened already but god, someone should do it.
…he’s still going. People don’t give Kokomi nearly enough credit for not strangling this man in his sleep. For fuck's sake, I can’t believe no one has-
Oh shit.
Reigen did it.
This is one of Reigen’s special attacks
Fuck this Creepy Sis-Con
Where he punches a pervert, often times a sis-con, in the face because no one else has.
“Alright, listen. I don’t care who you are, but you need to leave. I don’t condone people like you being in my office.” Reigen's is as awe-inspiring as ever but-
WHAT’S THIS?! TERUHASHI MAKOTO IS NOT DONE WITH HIS ATTACK?!
“I could sue you for this!” Oh no, that’s an actual possibility. While almost every single aspect of him is lacking, the one thing he has an abundance of (other than looks) is money. What is Reigen gonna do to counter this?! “Someone like you would never s-”
“Stop.” The woman of the hour herself, Teruhashi Kokomi stands in the doorway of the backroom!
“Go home, Makoto!” She explodes, her calm demeanor from a minute ago dissolving, unable to keep her temper to herself any longer. Good for her.
The piss poor excuse for a man sputters nonsensically, “But, K-kokom-”
But the girl isn’t done yelling, “I told you to stop putting trackers in my phone! I knew it was dumb to assume you hadn’t done it this time, but you promised! ”
You can see Reigen’s heart actively breaking as Kokomi becomes more and more enraged. You could actually use Reigen’s expression for the dictionary definition of ‘Devastated’. It’s actually a bit hard to look at.
Though, it’s understandable that he’d be upset as any not-horrible adult would be horrified upon learning that their teenage employee regularly deals with her creepy incestuous brother putting trackers onto her things without her knowledge after promising to not do it again.
“Kokomi, we both know I had to!” Oh shit, he’s still speaking, “Who knows how many horrible and disgusting men are out in the world!” You are one of those men.
Reigen looks as if he’s about to punch Makoto again and Kokomi might beat him to it.
“Kokomi, we both know…” Dang it, he’s about to go on another rant. Also, why is he speaking like she’s a child? Does his creepiness know no bounds- no, it does not. Stupid question to even ask. “...no oth-”
Oh, his phone rang! Maybe we’re lucky, and it’s the cops coming to tell him to turn himself in. The perv looks down at his phone and rolls his eyes before answering it,
“What?! I’m in the middle of something!” Is all he manages to get out before there’s unintelligible screaming coming from the receiver.
The man's face pales, and he attempts to stammer out what seems to be an explanation before the screaming on the other end somehow seems to get louder.
Makoto looks at Kokomi who has an oddly smug look on her face before rushing out of the office, yelling apologies for not being able to stay as he does so.
In the silence of the office, neither of its inhabitants do anything for a long moment. They remain still like statues or paintings, unable to make the first move.
As expected though, Reigen is the first to move with a simple eyebrow raised at Teruhashi.
“I texted his manager.” She blurted out quickly as if she wouldn’t get another chance to speak. Which was completely false, Reigen would let her speak all she wanted.
Also, that explains what she was doing in the backroom before she ended up coming out. It would make sense, this isn't nearly the first time she's had to do so.
“That’s my brother, Makoto, and for some reason, he thinks that he’s destined to marry me and my parents are never around to tell him that he’s gross and I don’t want that, and he’s creepy, and I hate him-” Okay so, she’s not really breathing while ranting, maybe someone should cut her off actually,
"-and it’s not like they’d even say anything if they were around since they think it’s all one big joke!” Jesus, that is some heavy trauma that she’s dumping.
“Besides, it’s not like I exactly have a place to complain right?! I’m the Perfect Pretty Girl, and I’m not allowed to complain about anything that’s less than horrible, I’ve dealt with him for 16 years, I can deal with him for a few more until I can legally move away, and I can change my name and I can get away and-” She’s cut off by Reigen’s next comment.
“Kid.” She’s cut off by Reigen’s firm voice. He’s squatting in front of her so that she has to look down at him. She didn’t notice he was even there.
With a gentle voice and soft expression, he asks a simple question. The one he wanted to ask in the first place when he first saw her nearly having a panic attack over a text message from a contact named ‘Him’
“Are you okay?”
It’s almost paternal in its concern and that’s what causes the floodgates to truly open.
Teruhashi breaks into heavy sobs and throws herself into Reigen’s startled but waiting arms.
It’s a long time before she’s able to say anything else before she wipes her tears or has the mind to get embarrassed.
But for now, as she’s being tightly held in arms that are nothing but platonic and familial for the first time in her life, she allows herself to just focus on the warmth she feels.
In this world, there are many strange things that can not be explained by science or rational logic. Ghosts, Perfect Girls, spirits, demons, and horrible family.
We close on a quaint office known as the Spirit's and Such Consultation Office, located in Seasoning City. Here we meet its residents having a rather eventful day, which is a solid half of their days, at the office.
It is approximately 6:24 pm and 45 seconds.