Chapter Text
The bliss and cheery festivities of the last quidditch match, and Gryffindor winning the match and the cup was short lived and they came back to reality Monday morning. Every lesson was filled with preparation and revision for what will appear on their O.W.L.s, as they were quickly approaching as May ended and June started.
Fifth years were now starting to panic, or feel panicked as they all began diving into studying. Grace made studying fun, at least for her and Harry. For every right answer, and right attempt at a spell, Grace gave Harry a kiss, and that was the only time she allowed any kind of kisses – so for Harry it was quite the motivator. Until her hair went up into a knot on the top of her head. That was when he knew that she was really trying to concentrate and was taking her studying seriously, so Harry did the same.
Grace let out a heavy sigh and clenched her eyes shut. She could feel a headache beginning to form and there was tight pressure between her shoulders. Harry frowned, glancing over at her and saw her roll her shoulders before pouring over her potions book again. He reached over and started to rub her neck slowly. A soft moan escaped Grace’s lips as her eyes fluttered closed.
“You’re stressing too much,” he said softly as he put a little more pressure on her neck.
“That feels really good,” she whispered, letting herself relax in her seat.
“C’mon, flower, take a break,” he whispered, then pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “It’s nice outside, enjoy the sun a little bit before our break is over.”
“But the forgetfulness potion –“
“You know the forgetfulness potion.”
“But –“
“Gracie… please, pick up the book later,” he stressed. Grace sighed and nodded, closing her book and putting it back into her bag. “Thank you,” he smiled and kissed her cheek.
“Harry…”
“Yeah?”
“Kiss me,” she asked, and Harry grinned; he didn’t need to be asked twice. Harry turned her head toward him and kissed her.
There were some younger girls giggling, but Grace didn’t care as she deepened the kiss. This is what she needed, just a kiss from Harry. She groaned when she heard the bell ring, signaling that breaktime was over and it was now time for Transfiguration.
“C’mon,” he whispered, and gave her another quick kiss before taking her hand. Grace gave a whine as she picked up her bag and let Harry drag her away to class.
The two of them took their seats, and instantly brought out their transfiguration book. Grace also pulled out her notebooks from the previous four years, and started reading them.
“Your O.W.L.s. will begin next week,” McGonagall announced as she flicked her wand and writing appeared on her blackboard. “I would, if I were you, write this schedule down on a piece of parchment that you will not lose, or if you are organized enough to have a diary planner,” she said. Grace reached into her bag and grabbed the diary planner Hermione had gifted her for Christmas and opened it to the weekly view, then grabbed a piece of parchment and began copying the board.
“As you can see,” McGonagall continued, “your O.W.L.s are spread over two successive weeks. You will sit the theory exams in the mornings and the practice in the afternoons. Your practical Astronomy examination will, of course, take place at night.
“Now, I must warn you that the most stringent Anti-Cheating Charms have been applied to your examination papers. Auto-Answer Quils are banned from the examination hall, as are Remembralls, Detachable Cribbing Cuff,s and Self-Correcting ink. Every year, I am afraid to say, seems to harbor at least one student who thinks that he or she can get around the Wizarding Examinations Authority’s rules. Our new… Headmistress – “McGonagall stressed the word with a look that reminded Grace very much of the look her mother had given Rita Skeeter the previous year, “has asked teachers to tell their students that cheating will be punished most severely – because, of course, your examination results will reflect upon the Headmistress’s new regime at school…”
Grace held back a smile when she saw McGonagall’s nostrils flare in annoyance.
“However, that is no reason not to do your very best! You have your own futures to think about.”
“Please, Professor,” Hermione started, raising her hand, “when will we find out our results?”
“An owl will be sent to you some time in July,” McGonagall answered.
“Excellent,” Dean sighed in relief, “so we don’t have to worry about it ‘till the holidays…”
Grace frowned as she started copying the dates from her piece of parchment into her daily diary, using colored ink to block out times for the exams, and time for studying and practicing. She was so focused on making sure her schedule for the next two weeks was perfect, that she let out a yelp when she felt her hair being tugged.
“C’mon, it’s time for lunch,” Harry said, then began helping her gather her things.
“I can’t believe I’ve wasted the whole class…” she mumbled, stuffing everything in her bag. Harry rolled his eyes as he snatched up her diary and looked at it.
“You’ve got the next two weeks completely planned out,” Harry shook his head as they walked out of the classroom. “What’s the blue ink for?”
“Oh, that’s for you,” she answered, smiling.
“Me?”
“Mhm,” she nodded, “I’ve got to fit in time to spend with you, even if it’s only studying. I know you struggle a little in potions so I’ve made sure that when we have to take our potion’s test, that I’m quizzing you to make sure you’re prepared… and I know that you struggle a little with the practical side of transfiguration so I’ve carved room for us to practice together. I want to make sure that you get into all the classes you need so you can be an Auror…”
Harry blinked, confused and touched. He stopped walking and grabbed her hand, forcing her to look at him. “Grace… I’m touched, it means a lot that you care that much but… what about you?”
“What about me?”
“What about your studying for your tests?”
“Well, helping you is also studying,” Grace shrugged.
“But… don’t you need to get into the same classes?”
“Why would I need to get into the same classes?”
“…Aren’t you going to be an auror too?” Harry asked. Grace shifted uncomfortably and looked down at her feet.
“I’ve told you that I don’t want to be one…” she said in a small voice as she wrapped her arms around her middle. Harry blinked, and his heart fell in his chest. She’s told him a few times before that she didn’t want to be one, but he had hoped that she would’ve changed her mind, that maybe all those D.A. meetings would change her mind.
“Then what do you want to be?” he asked softly.
Grace grimaced and hugged herself tighter, still avoiding his eyes. “It doesn’t matter –“
“Yes it does,” he said.
“No, it doesn’t –“
“Yes, it does,” he frowned. “It matters because it’s what you want to do… Grace, you could be anything and you’d be amazing…”
“But you want me to be an auror…”
“Yeah,” he nodded, “I’d love it if we were both able to be aurors together – “ Grace grimaced again as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “ – but if that’s not what you want to do, that’s okay… what matters is that you’re doing something that you want to, and knowing you, you’ll be amazing at it…” Harry closed her diary and stuffed it into his bag before resting his hands on her shoulders. “Why do you think what you want to do wouldn’t matter?”
“It’s…it’s silly,” she shook her head.
“No it isn’t,” he frowned.
“You don’t even know what it is,” she rolled her eyes at him.
“It isn’t silly because you want to do it…” Grace glanced up at him, and he gave her a small smile.
“I haven’t decided what exactly I’m going to do after Hogwarts…” she admitted quietly. “Both things I want to do… are things that I’m going to have to wait to do, one way or another…”
“Like what?” he asked confused.
“I’d like to be a teacher…” she said and Harry blinked, surprised. When he didn’t say anything else, she groaned and went to pull away. “See! It’s stupid, and I know you’re probably thinking that it’s a waste of my talent, and that I’d be a better auror, or something! This I why I didn’t want to tell anyone –“
“No,” Harry shook his head as he took her hand. “I was just surprised, that’s all,” he smiled. “Grace… You’d be an amazing teacher! I could see you being the Defense teacher, and only you could break a curse like that,” he grinned, and her cheeks flushed.
“That’s the problem…” she started again, and Harry blinked and frowned in confusion. “I can’t be a teacher…”
“Why can’t you?”
“Because…” she paused, and looked away from him, feeling shy and insecure. “Because… I – I also want to be a mum…” she whispered. Harry blinked as his lips parted and he looked at her in surprise. His heart did a strange little skip and his stomach did a flip at her words. He felt his chest tighten as he began imagining her holding a little baby girl with curly hair and grey eyes that looked just like her, while another little boy with black hair and green eyes that looked like him held onto her leg. He imagined her singing to them, and teaching them how to ride a broom, playing with them… They’ve joked about the twelve kids, but this was the first time that he had imagined it – them having kids. Harry quite liked the idea of Grace being a mother.
“It’s stu-“ Grace started but Harry pulled her into a kiss and deepened it as he held her tightly against him.
“It’s not stupid,” he whispered against her lips and kissed her again. “You’d be an amazing mother,” he smiled, and her cheeks went red as she smiled at him – her own heart doing skips as the butterflies erupted into flutters.
Monday came and none of the fifth years talked at breakfast as they all were still doing last minute studying and practicing for their Charms exam. Grace reviewed her notebooks over and over again as she stuffed a piece of bacon and half a slice of toast into her mouth at once. She felt Harry tug on some of her curls, signaling that breakfast was now over and they had to go wait outside the Great Hall.
As they waited outside, Harry started rubbing her shoulders to try and calm her nerves as she muttered different charms and practiced the wand movement with her finger. Then the doors opened and they were being called forward class by class. When they entered the Great Hall, all the house tables were replaced by rows of desks all facing the staff-table where Professor McGonagall stood facing them. Grace looked at Harry, and he gave her a small, encouraging smile and brought her hand to his lips.
“Good luck,” she whispered.
“You too,” he nodded. Grace gave him a small smile before heading to her desk toward the front of the hall.
She sat down, and stared at McGonagall nervously, wringing her hands on her lap. “You may begin,” McGonagall announced and turned over the enormous hourglass on the desk beside her that also had spare quills, ink bottles and rolls of parchment waiting if they were needed.
Grace turned over her paper and read the first question: a) Give the incantation, and b) describe the wand movement required to make objects fly.
Easy. Grace said to herself as she dipped her quill into the ink and started writing her answer. Then she moved onto the next question: a) give the incantation, and b) describe the wand movement required to lock objects such as doors, windows, trunks, etc.
Also easy. Grace smiled as she wrote her answer. It seemed to be a pattern, and by the time she was half-way through her test, her nerves were being lifted. She knew all of these. She was going to do fine.
“Well, it wasn’t too bad, was it?” Hermione asked as they waited in the entrance hall two hours later, clutching her exam paper. “I’m not sure I did myself justice on cheering charms, I just ran out of time – did you put in the counter-charm for hiccups? I wasn’t sure whether I ought to, it felt like too much - and on question twenty-three – “
“Hermione,” Ron interrupted sternly, “we’ve been through this before... we’re not going through every exam afterward! It’s bad enough doing the once.” Grace snorted and turned to Neville.
“How do you think you did?” she asked, nudging him lightly.
“All right… I think,” Neville nodded. “I think I got some of the wand movements mixed up, and I think I spelt some of the incantations wrong…. But I think I did all right. You?”
“I think I did fine,” she shrugged, and Harry snorted and tried to cover it up with a laugh. “What, Potter?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
“You thinking you did just fine,” he rolled his eyes at her. “You can create a little, floating snow cloud with just a thought and a flick of your wand,” Grace’s cheeks flushed, “so you doing just ‘fine’ is an insult to yourself.”
“Oh shush,” she huffed, giving him a light glare, “it’s just a simple charm, a joke charm!”
“…Grace you tried to teach it to me and I made it rain in common room,” Harry retorted, and her cheeks flushed.
“…Shut up.”
Then the door opened, and everyone froze in anticipation as Professor Flitwick stepped into the Entrance Hall.
“Abbot, Hannah,” he called out, and Hannah took a deep breath and walked forward. “Black, Gracia – “ Grace swallowed the lump her throat, and took a deep breath.
“You’ve got this, Gracie,” Neville whispered and she nodded. The only thing that calmed her nerves – even if it was for a few seconds – was when Harry kissed the back of her hand and squeezed it before letting go.
“Professor Marchbanks is free, Miss Black,” Professor Flitwick motioned to an elderly woman. Grace only nodded and made her way to the elderly woman who sat behind a small table near the far side of the room.
“Black, is it?” the woman said in greeting, raising a thin, white eyebrow. Grace’s cheeks flushed and she nodded. “I had the pleasure of testing both of your parents during their O.W.L.s,” she added and Grace looked surprised, “both incredibly talented. Let’s see if those talents have been passed down –“ Grace’s cheeks flushed a darker pink, “ – please make this eggcup perform cartwheels.”
Grace nodded and took a deep breath, but for some reason holding her wand felt weird in her trembling hands.
“It’s all right to be nervous,” Professor Marchbanks said gently. “Take a moment to calm the nerves,” Grace nodded as she closed her eyes and took another deep breath and shook out her arms. When she exhaled and opened her eyes, she stared at the eggcup and with the proper wand movement and incantation, the eggcup was doing cartwheels and jumps and spins around the table.
The eggcup was replaced with a wine glass, and Grace had to levitate it, and keep it levitated for a minute then use the descending charm to lower it back to the table. After the levitation charm, she was asked to turn a rat from it’s dark brown color to a pink one. Grace’s brows furrowed at this one, and she paused, mouthing the incantation to make sure she got it right and thought of its fur changing color. Grace couldn’t decide which shade of pink to go with, so Professor Marchbanks blinked in surprise as the rats fur changed would slowly fade seamlessly into different shades and tones of pink until Grace chose a nice, pretty, rose color.
“Well, done, Miss Black,” Professor Marchbank nodded in approval. “Now, I’ve seemed to have a dull quill, could you please summon one of the eagle feather quills from the staff-table?” Grace nodded.
“Accio quill,” Grace said confidently, and one of the eagle feather quills from the staff-table zoomed over and Grace caught it effortlessly, then handed it to Professor Marchbanks, who nodded as she took it.
“Please enlarge this chess piece to the size of a common house cat,” Marchbanks instructed, and Grace nodded. She mouthed the incantation a few times to make sure it was correct, before doing the wand movement. The chess piece was a little large, and Marchbanks raised an eyebrow at her.
“Sorry… my friend has a cat who is a little large and fluffy. It’s part kneazle, so it’s larger than normal cats.”
“Interesting,” Marchbanks nodded as she wrote something on her piece of parchment.
Grace continued with her practical exam. She was tested on cheering charms, banishing charms, locking and unlocking charms with a locked jewelry box, lighting and extinguishing charm, mending charm, locomotion and slowing charms, silencing, counter-spells, and she finished with giving a teacup legs, and made it dance gracefully around the table.
“Thank you, Miss Black,” Professor Marchbanks nodded with a small smile as she finished writing on her parchment. Grace nodded as she made her way to the exit behind the staff table, and headed back up to the common room.
She was the first one to return and she went straight up to her room and pulled out her mirror.
“Dad!” she called after casting a muffling charm around her bed.
“Aren’t supposed to be studying?” Sirius asked as his face appeared in her mirror. He raised an eyebrow at her but she only smiled at him.
“I just finished my charms exam,” she said, relaxing into her headboard.
“How did that go?”
“I think it went really well! I had to turn a rat pink and I couldn’t decide which shade of pink because Professor Marchbanks didn’t specify, so I did all kinds of shades and this really pretty fading effect between colors. I also had to give a teacup legs, and I made dance like the muggle ballet. I think it impressed her.” she said excitedly, and Sirius beamed at her in pride.
“That’s my girl! I charmed her too, but with my transfiguration exam. I turned my teacup into a bouquet of flowers.”
“Is that part of the exam?!” Grace asked, her eyes widening. She didn’t remember that.
“No! No, it’s not don’t worry,” he shook his head and she instantly relaxed. “I did it before I left. I think that’s what made my ‘Exceeds Expectations’ into an ‘Outstanding’ if I’m honest,” Grace nodded, feeling a little better. “What do you have tomorrow?”
“… Transfiguration.”
“Ah. Still the same schedule I see,” he nodded. “Well, is there anything you feel like you’re struggling with?”
“I don’t know…” she shrugged. “I’m helping Harry study and practice tonight, I know he struggles a little in Transfiguration and I want to make sure he can get at least an ‘Exceeds Expectations’ –“
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“It’s wonderful that you are for Harry that much that you want to help him get into his N.E.W.T. level classes, little star… but what about your classes?” Grace’s head was suddenly feeling heavy and dizzy with a sense of déjà vu. “Last time we talked, you didn’t mention your career advice and how that went…”
“It went fine,” she shrugged. “I talked to Professor McGonagall… she doubts I’ll get anything less than ‘Exceeds Expectations’ on any of my exams.”
“But what classes are you taking next year?”
“All of them except for History of Magic, Astronomy and probably Divination…”
“You’re giving up Divination?” Sirius frowned in concern. “You love that class…”
“Yeah…I did… but I don’t like astrology, and that’s mostly what we’ve been doing for two years and… I like Firenze fine, he’s very interesting but… I don’t like astrology. It’s too generic and it really hurts my brain with all the retrogrades, and different signs rising, or in Jupiter or Venus or something and I don’t want to continue that. I’ll just continue with my little hobby of tea leaves and tarot cards.”
“I’d hate for you to give up a class you like…”
“I’m still going to continue with Care of Magical Creatures,” she shrugged. “I have a feeling I’m going to be the only one though…”
“How so?”
“I know Harry, Ron and Hermione aren’t as interested in the subject as I am… and they only enjoy it for Hagrid,” she sighed. “It’s fine, it means I can spend more time with the animals on the reserve.”
“All right…” Sirius nodded, frowning in concern. “As long as you’re taking classes that you need and want to take for what you’re planning on going into…” he said, letting his voice fade in hopes she would tell him. “Which is…..?”
“Which is what?”
“What are you planning on going into?”
“Oh… I talked to McGonagall, we’ve got it sorted… kinda,” Grace shrugged.
“But…what is it?”
“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”
“Oh, c’mon, love, you can tell me,” he smiled encouragingly at her. “Let me guess… Auror?”
“Nope.”
“Really?” he asked surprised, and she nodded. “…didn’t see that coming. Okay, er… you’re going to go into the Department of Regulation for Magical Creatures and work for the werewolves?”
“Nope,” Grace shook her head, and Sirius blinked again as he stared at her in shock.
“Really?” he asked, his voice going a little high, and she nodded again. “All right… hmm… Muggle relations?” she shook her head.
“Dad just… drop it okay?” she sighed. “I talked to Professor McGonagall and we have a list of classes for me to take next year.”
“…It’s all right if you still don’t have an idea of what you want to do, little star,” he said softly. “Hell, I didn’t even know what I wanted to do.”
“Really?” she asked surprised. “But didn’t you start the Auror training with James?”
“Only because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time,” he shrugged. “You’ve got to remember, Grace, when I was finishing school Voldemort was beginning to gain power and influence. I had no desire to be an Auror and only did it because it seemed like the right choice. I had the skill and talent for it, but then James and I were recruited into the Order and… well, you know the rest…” he finished, his voice fading. “I never really got a chance to really think about what I wanted to do. Helena and I had plans to travel the world, go to different magical communities… live our life before – well… then I wanted to settle down after a few years…”
Grace’s heart fell in her chest.
“We never got the chance…” he said sadly.
“Because of me…” she whispered.
“No,” he said sharply as he shook his head. “No, not because of you –“
“But you two had plans and… then I happened and your plans changed…”
“We never got the chance because of the war,” he corrected her, “not because we had you.”
“Sure sounded like I was part of the reason…” she muttered. Then there was an awkward silence between them. “If… if you and mum didn’t have me… would you two still be together?” she asked quietly, a thought she’s had for months – ever since she read the letter from her mother.
“No,” Sirius answered somberly after a few moments. “I don’t think we would be…”
“Why?”
“Because… we wanted different things,” he answered simply. “I think even if we didn’t have you, even with the war going on… I would’ve wanted a family after it ended. Seeing James and Lily happy with Harry… I would’ve wanted that…” he shrugged. “Even if there wasn’t a war… after a couple of years, Helena and I would’ve continued to fight about the same things. I would’ve loved to travel, party a little bit, enjoy being young with Helena… but after a few years….” He shook his head. “Seeing Harry grow up, being around Molly’s children… I would’ve wanted my own and Helena…Helena never wanted that. We would’ve split eventually. We would’ve split even if I was never sent to Azkaban…” Grace only nodded. “What brought this on?”
“It… it was something Mum said in a letter…”
“Helena wrote to you?” he asked, surprised.
“Yeah… for my birthday, well it was the day after my birthday,” she shrugged, “but she didn’t want to send it on my birthday because she didn’t want to upset me… but this was the first time she sent me something for my birthday before the twenty-eighth…”
“Helena…wrote to you?” he asked again, and she nodded. “What did she say?”
“She said she was glad I was recovering well, and asked how I was doing…” she started. “Then she… apologized for what happened – well she said she was sorry that I heard her, and that she didn’t want to find out that way – “ Sirius scoffed. “ – and… she said she did try, at first… she tried for you but…” her voice faded, and she didn’t finish but Sirius nodded in understanding. “She said she still wanted a relationship with me… in some way…”
“She did?” he asked, sounding surprised.
“Yeah… but…” she shrugged. “Words only mean so much and I told her that, and that if she wanted to be in my life she had to prove it.” Sirius nodded.
“And…has she?” he asked carefully.
“She’s sent letters, we’ve only exchanged a few since I told her that. It’s hard with the Inquistorial squad going through all the mail. I can’t really tell her a lot…and there’s somethings I just don’t feel comfortable sharing with her – “
“And that’s understandable,” Sirius nodded.
“It’s okay… right?” she asked, and he frowned in confusion. “That… that I’m talking to Mum?”
“Of course it is,” he said quietly. “Grace, I’m not going to tell you that you can’t talk to Helena. She’s your mother, and… if she’s finally starting to come around and trying to talk to you then it’s your choice. Yours and Harrys. I’m not going to tell you – either of you – to choose sides.”
“It’s weird though…” she started, “Harry told me about what happened when she came to see me when I was in the hospital wing… he said she almost started crying.”
“Yeah…” Sirius nodded. “When she came back here to tell me about how you were and what she decided…she started crying. I think seeing you that way did something to her. I’m surprised she reached out, is all. She cares in her own, weird, distant way…”
“But she doesn’t love me…” Grace whispered. “I wasn’t what she wanted…”
“Grace… I want you to know, I need you to know that you weren’t a mistake to me,” he said softly, and she nodded.
“I know…”
“You were a surprise, an unexpected surprise – “
“That’s a nice way of saying accident…” she said quietly.
“A happy one,” he corrected her. “Accident, surprise, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I love you more than anything on this earth. I was so happy when I found out Helena was pregnant, even if it was sooner than I planned or expected, and I was so happy when you were born…” Grace felt herself smiling. “It’s you and me against the world, remember?”
“Yeah,” she nodded, her smile widening.
“Good,” he nodded curly. “Now, that you’ve had a little break. How about I try and help you with transfiguration?” Grace nodded excitedly as she set the mirror down to grab her transfiguration books and notes.
After another hour, Grace had finally said goodbye to Sirius, then made her way back downstairs to the common room to see Emma, Seamus, Lavender, and Hermione all sitting around one of the larger tables in the common room, all pouring over their transfiguration books.
“How’d it go?” she asked, taking a seat and setting her things down.
“I accidentally set the professors quill on fire…” Seamus sighed and Grace grimaced, “and exploded a plate…”
“I made my examiner laugh a little too long,” Lavender frowned. “And I got the color-changing and growth charms mixed up again!”
“I did too!” Seamus groaned.
“I accidentally blew up a plate… I got confringo and confundo mixed up,” Emma groaned, looking close to tears.
“Oof...” Grace grimaced. “Hermy?” she asked, turning to Hermione.
“I’d not like to talk about it, thank you,” she huffed as she turned the page in her Transfiguration book.
“What did you do?”
“…I made my teacups legs a little too long and a little bigger for the cups size,” Hermione muttered. Grace blinked and stared at her dryly before rolling her eyes and opening her book.
Not long later, Neville came in looking all red faced and jittery as he sat down next to Grace. He didn’t say much, instead he took out his transfiguration book and started studying with them. She reached over and rested her hand on his, and he grabbed it and squeezed it.
“Did you blow anything up or catch anything on fire?” she asked.
“No…”
“Well, it can’t be any worse than that,” Grace assured him with a small smile.
“Gracie!” Seamus exclaimed, mildly annoyed but she only grinned.
A little later, Parvati and Harry both joined them, pulling up more chairs. Everyone started shifting to make room for them, and for Dean and Ron for when they come up. Harry pulled his chair next to her, and Ron’s between himself and Hermione, while Parvati squeezed her chair between Lavender and Emma.
Even at dinner, none of them really talked leisurely. It was nothing but revision between bites of food. Grace was helping both Neville and Harry with their wand movements for some spells, and their pronunciation for others. Then after dinner, they all went back up to the common room and continued studying and practicing for the next days exams.