Work Text:
Stepping through the rippling portal, Dean suddenly found himself engulfed by darkness. Disoriented by this sudden shift in environment Dean came to a halt, allowing his brain a chance to catch up. As he stood there, waiting for his mind to acclimatize, Dean couldn't help but notice how different the darkness of The Empty felt. The pitch-black environment wasn't like the darkness of a moonless night, nor the darkness of an abandoned building. Instead, this darkness felt thick and confining as though it might smother Dean at any moment.
As his mind processed this change in surroundings, it dragged an old memory to the surface — waking in a pine box, six feet under. The feeling of being stuck in such a small space, and knowing that a single wrong move would see him suffocate under a mound of dirt.
Knowing this wasn't the time or place to deal with any sort of traumatic flashback, Dean quickly pushed that memory aside and dragged his focus back to the mission ahead of him — finding Cas. And bringing him home.
Blindly reaching into his jacket pocket, Dean pulled out his trusty flask. Removing the lid, Dean hesitated briefly before downing most of the liquid inside. Rather than the pleasant (and usually welcome) burn of liquor, a disgusting earthly flavor flooded his taste buds. Resisting the urge to spit out the revolting liquid, Dean forced himself to swallow the potion Rowena had concocted for him. With that mouthful descending towards his stomach, Dean tried to suppress his gag reflex as he emptied the flask of its remaining contents, screwing his eyes shut as he forced the rest of the potion down.
With his flask now empty, and a vile taste lingering in his mouth, Dean took a deep breath and focused on pushing away the nausea that had swept over him. Slowly letting his breath out, Dean repeated the process until he was somewhat confident that the potion was going to stay down. Halfway through taking in a final deep breath, Dean paused.
Something was happening.
There was an odd sensation around his chest, a strange pulling sensation. It felt as though someone had thrown a lasso around him and was gently tugging him forward. Turning slightly to his left Dean realized the tugging direction didn't change — now pulling him to the right instead of forward. Realizing this must be how Rowena's potion was going to direct him to Cas, Dean couldn't help but feel slightly hopeful.
Maybe he really was going to see Cas again.
Turning back to face the direction he was being pulled toward, Dean started to walk forward.
Descending deeper into The Empty, the inky darkness seemed to somehow thicken — it felt as though he was walking in the thickest, dry fog imaginable. Despite taking a quick glance around, Dean couldn't tell if the environment had changed with inky darkness essentially rendering Dean blind. He couldn't even use the echo of his own footsteps to assess the environment as the realm seemed to absorb the sound. Unsettling as this was Dean kept moving, trusting the potion to guide him to his destination.
—
Dean had no idea how long he'd been walking for — it might have been a few minutes, or maybe it had been hours. Being unable to see, hear his own footsteps, or even smell anything was disorienting to the hunter, so it was unsurprising that time slipped away from him too. To keep himself somewhat grounded, Dean found himself tapping a fingernail against his flask, the faint sound keeping him focused on the task at hand.
Having been derived of most of his senses, Dean soon found that there was nothing to distract him from the negative thoughts that started to trickle in.
What if the potion isn't working?
What if I'm walking into a trap?
What if I never get to tell Cas…
Occupied by trying to fight his own mind, Dean almost missed the subtle change of The Empty. At first, Dean thought his eyes were playing tricks on him after spending so long in the dark. But, as he kept moving forward, he soon realized it wasn't his eyes. There really was a pale blue, almost white glow, on the horizon.
After walking for however long in the inky darkness, this glow caused a small spark of hope to appear within Dean. And the fact that this glow was coming from the direction he was being pulled in — there was no way that it was a coincidence. Despite the glow barely making a difference to the overall darkness of The Empty, Dean couldn't help but increase his pace. With his confidence boosted, he strode forward following the potion’s pull, guiding him straight towards the light.
As he moved closer towards whatever was producing the glow (and hopefully Cas) Dean noticed the light seemed to grow stronger. Had Dean been anywhere but in The Empty, he probably wouldn't have even noticed the weak light. And even if he had noticed it, chances are he would have found it to be no help.
But right now? This soft glow was the sole reason that Dean could see anything at all.
Looking towards the faint light, it reminded Dean of driving in the night between the towns of the Midwest. And seeing the soft glow in the sky that appeared just before the moon started to rise. Not a full moon, but maybe a half-moon.
As much as Dean enjoyed having some sort of light, he soon discovered that this dim light had a down side. Unable to tell if it was because of the faint light, or if it was tiredness creeping up on him, every so often Dean found himself distracted by movement in the corner of his eye. The first couple of times Dean spun around, gun drawn, only to find himself staring into the darkness. After these false alarms Dean tried to push on, telling himself there was nothing there.
His brain, however, had other plans and as he followed the potion's pull, Dean had to deal with his mind unhelpfully reminding him what was hiding in the shadows.
Despite fearing what was lurking in the darkness that surrounded him, the first sign of life Dean encountered didn't jump out at him from the inky darkness. Nor did it creep up on him and grab him from behind. Instead, it seemingly appeared from out of nowhere, as though the shadows had pulled back from it.
With his eyes focused on the glow coming from the horizon, Dean first thought the dark blob on the ground was an illusion — a trick caused by the soft glow on the dark environment.
Coming to a halt, Dean took a moment to assess the dark patch ahead of him. Even from this distance, Dean could tell the dark whatever-it-was looked different compared to the surrounding shadows. Yes, it was dark like the rest of The Empty. But, unlike the surrounding Empty that had a void-like endless darkness, this patch appeared to have a solid darkness about it. Perhaps this was due to the way the glow appeared to curve around the dark patch, as though it was making its own shadow. As he slowly moved closer, Dean started to realize the glow wasn't just curving around the dark patch, but appeared to be outlining the area as though this different darkness was glowing.
Despite still unable to see any real details, Dean was now fairly certain that whatever he was looking at was no illusion. At least not an illusion caused by his own mind.
With a hand wrapped around the handle of his gun, Dean continued to move forward, carefully watching the dark area as he crept.
As he drew closer, the shape of the patch became clearer — it looked to be a body. Stepping nearer, Dean was soon able to identify that the figure was face down and clothed. Approaching the body the glow grew brighter, as if reacting to his presence.
Dean peered at the figure as he approached, hoping to identify some sort of features to identify whoever this was. He knew The Empty was filled with both demons and angels, many of whom had a score to settle with him.
In the low light, Dean couldn’t tell how far away he was from the prone body, but knew he was close. He could make out some sort of overcoat; its loose material covering the upper half of the body. Craning his neck, Dean peered toward where he thought the head should be and came to a sudden halt.
There was just enough glowing light to allow Dean to spy a mop of dark messy hair peeking out from the coat.
A spark of hope ignited within his chest and Dean tried to keep it under control.
Resuming his movement towards the figure, Dean managed to control the hope within him. That was until he realized that the mop of Cas-like hair wasn't peeking out from any old coat, but rather a very familiar trench coat. Finally letting hope take over, Dean gave in to the urge and sprinted towards the figure.
Skidding to a halt beside the body, Dean dropped to his knees and rolled the person onto their back to see their face. It was only then that all traces of doubt left his system.
He had found Cas.
Kneeling beside Cas, all Dean could do was stare at the angel's face. Since that painful day in the dungeon, Dean had struggled to picture Cas without the sad smile. Gone were the mental images of Cas smiling, his eyes sparkling with happiness. Dean had been only able to picture Cas's tear-filled eyes as he bid Dean goodbye.
Lying on the ground of the Empty, Cas looked peaceful. There was no sign of any tears, no sadness, no goodbyes. Just a peaceful Cas and Dean watching the angel sleep.
Dean wished this peaceful moment could last, but he knew they needed to get moving. Peaceful moments would have to wait for now.
With Cas showing no acknowledgement of Dean's arrival, Dean had no choice but to try and wake him. Slowly reaching out, Dean placed his hand on Cas's right shoulder and spoke the angel's name.
"Cas?"
Watching the angel in front of him, Dean watched as Cas's eyes slowly opened. For a moment Cas gazed at the hunter, before closing his eyes again and letting out a sigh.
"Just leave me alone. Let me sleep."
The weariness in Cas's voice was clear — it was as though Dean had woken him a hundred times before.
With his hand still firmly on Cas's shoulder, Dean gently shook the angel.
"Cas, it's really me."
Cas didn't even bother to open his eyes this time.
"No, it's not. You are not Dean Winchester. You wanted me to sleep, so let me sleep." Irritation crept into Cas's voice as he tried once again to dismiss Dean.
Dean could feel his own frustration rising — they had no time for this. They needed to get up and move before The Empty found them. Trying to keep his voice low, Dean let a bit of the frustration take over.
"Cas, you stupid son-of-a-bitch, it's me! You know, the guy you confessed your undying love for and then died?"
Cas opened his eyes again as Dean spoke, and the hunter could see the realization setting in. Meeting the angel's gaze, he couldn't help but continue.
"What the hell was that anyway? I didn't even get a chance to—"
Cas suddenly sat up, cutting Dean off.
"Dean? But how?"
The sight of Cas sitting in front of him with his beautiful blue eyes full of surprise, pulled Dean's mind back to the here and now. But despite knowing that The Empty could appear at any moment Dean still couldn't help but smile as he helped Cas to his feet, pulling the angel into a strong embrace. Holding the hug for a moment, Dean savored the feeling of being able to hold Cas close, before reluctantly pulling apart.
Meeting Cas's gaze once again, Dean noticed the angel's expression was now one of worry.
"Dean, you can't be here. If The Empty finds you they'll—"
"I'll do what, Castiel?"
A voice echoed out from behind Dean, sending shivers up his spine. Spinning around, Dean prepared himself for an attack but there was no one in sight. Before he could ask Cas what was going on, Dean heard a familiar squelching noise. He felt his stomach turn as the sound grew louder and memories of the dungeon rushed in.
The tears running down Cas's cheeks.
The sad smile.
The thick black ooze engulfing Cas…
Pushing the memories aside, Dean tried to focus as he took a step back to position himself beside Cas. Knowing he might have to grab Cas and run, Dean gripped the angel's forearm. He was not going to lose Cas again.
Despite wanting to take Cas and get out of dodge, Dean forced himself to stand his ground. Unconsciously holding his breath, Dean watched as the thick goo oozed out from within the darkness and rippled across the ground towards them. As the goo came to a halt about ten feet away, Dean felt slightly relieved. That relief was short-lived. The goo started to grow in height, forming what looked like a terrible Scooby Doo villain. The Sam-sized pile of goo continued to morph, slowly shaping itself into a humanoid shape. Dean could clearly identify a black goo torso, with arms, neck and a head. Where the face should have been, there were small waves of goo rippling across the surface, with no sign of eyes, nose or even a mouth.
Despite the lack of a mouth, a voice clearly sounded from the creature.
"Were you going to tell this human what happens when I find you awake? About how I can cause you such intense pain that you'll beg me to let you sleep?" The Empty taunted Cas, reminding him he was powerless here.
Dean had heard countless threats of intense pain from monsters, demons, angels, and even humans over the years. Most overestimated their abilities and hadn't even come close to following up their threat. But Dean knew The Empty was different. He hadn't seen The Empty in action, but had heard tales from Jack and Sam about the power it possessed, and the pain it could inflict.
He also knew that last time Cas had been a resident of The Empty, he had managed to annoy the entity so much that it had returned Cas back to Earth. However, as Dean stood next to the angel and listened to the threats coming from The Empty, Dean could tell that the power dynamic had changed. Cas did not have the upper hand here. As he racked his mind on how they could escape, the entity spoke again.
"I could give a demonstration. Show him exactly how I like to persuade you into sleeping,” The Empty paused. “But today, Castiel, I'm feeling… generous." Dean knew if this creature had a mouth, it would be smirking. "It's not your fault you woke up. No, it's your little friend's fault.”
At this comment Dean felt Cas tense up, as though he knew what was coming next.
The Empty continued.
“Instead of punishing you,” The Empty's head turned slightly towards Dean, “I'll punish your friend here. I'll make him wish he was back on the rack in Hell. Oh yes, Dean, I know all about your fun times with Alistair."
Dean had expected The Empty to threaten him, had even expected to be attacked. What he hadn't expected was for it to know exactly what buttons to push to switch his fight or flight response to 'freeze'
Before Dean could pull his brain out of freeze mode, Cas reacted.
"No! Send Dean back to Earth! I'll go back to sleep."
The Empty tutted.
"Oh Castiel, always sacrificing yourself to save your Dean. But I'm afraid that's a no to your suggestion. Your pesky friend found his way to you once, who says he won't do it again?"
Before Cas had a chance to put himself further into harm's way, Dean quickly interrupted.
"Then send us both back. That way, Cas won't wake you and I'll have no reason to come back."
Silence fell across the realm as The Empty appeared to consider Dean's suggestion, "That does sound appealing. The annoying buzzing noise that is Castiel would be gone. And I could finally go back to sleep. But why should I make your escape this easy for you when you've both made my existence so difficult?" The Empty briefly paused, as if to keep the hunter and angel in suspense on purpose. "I won't be sending you back. Instead, you can leave via that portal you ripped into my realm."
"And Cas?"
"Castiel can also leave via the portal."
As he stared at the humanoid goo creature, Dean tried to spot the catch. From what he'd heard about The Empty there was no way it would make leaving as easy as walking through the portal. Unable to figure it out, Dean had no choice but to ask.
"That's it, we can just leave?"
"Not quite." The smirk had returned to The Empty's voice. "Castiel made an agreement with me, and I don't normally cancel an agreement. But, as I said, I'm feeling generous. The moment Castiel passes through the portal, the agreement will be null and void. However, in order to get to the portal, you'll need to follow some…rules.”
“What rules?”
“Firstly, Castiel must follow you towards the portal. Secondly, Castiel must not touch or talk to you. You, on the other hand, must not look at, talk to, or touch Castiel. If either of you break any of these rules before you both have passed through the portal, then he stays here with me."
As The Empty listed the rules, Dean had the feeling he'd heard conditions like this before — these rules seemed familiar to him. It dawned on him — the tale of Orpheus. Before Dean could dwell on this realization too much, The Empty added a final remark.
"And if you fail and you come back for him again, I will not hesitate in making you long to be back on the rack."
Knowing better than to ask The Empty how they knew so much about his time in Hell, Dean simply nodded.
"Fine."
"Castiel? You're being unusually quiet over there."
Looking towards Cas Dean could see the angel had his head tilted slightly, as though he was still processing The Empty's deal. Turning his attention away from the entity, Cas met Dean's gaze.
"Dean, you don't have to do this."
Dean had lost count of all the sacrifices he had made over the years. His childhood had gone to his father, his teens and 20s to protect Sammy, and the years since then to protect the world. Now, as he gazed back at Cas, all Dean could see was the Castiel he'd seen in the dungeon. The sad smile. The tears. The "I love you."
He knew it was finally time to stop making sacrifices for others and to live for himself.
"I'm not leaving without you, Cas."
Clearly Cas could see the determination on Dean's face, as the angel didn't bother to try and change Dean's mind. Turning his attention back to The Empty, Cas answered the unspoken question.
"I agree to your terms."
"Good. Time to start your journey. Take a step forward, Dean. Oh, and make sure to let go of Castiel's arm. Unless you really want to break a rule on the first step."
Pausing, Dean glanced towards Cas who gave a small nod of reassurance. Still gripping Cas's arm, Dean gave it what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze. Taking a deep breath, Dean turned his gaze to The Empty before letting Cas's arm slip out of his grip as he took a step forward.
As he moved forward Dean watched as the angel slipped from his field of vision into a blind spot. A wave of panic crashed over Dean and he found himself fighting against the overwhelming urge to turn around to check on Cas. Reassuring himself that the angel was exactly where Dean had last seen him, Dean pushed away the intrusive thoughts his mind threw at him. Taking another deep breath, Dean took another step forward, then another, all while glaring at The Empty
"Not feeling so fine now, are we Dean? Let's see how much faith you really have in Castiel."
The Empty's cruel and mocking tone suggested it saw the emotional battle Dean was fighting. Unable to think of a response Dean watched as the goo entity vanished, leaving him once again surrounded by darkness.
The sudden darkness brought on yet another rush of panic – where had the soft glow gone? As he'd approached Cas Dean had concluded that the glow had been coming from the angel. But with the glow gone, did that mean that Cas had gone too?
Or was this a trick by The Empty to push Dean towards failure?
With his brain spiraling, Dean took a breath in before slowly letting it out. As he tried to pull his mind to the here and now, Dean attempted to focus on his surroundings.
Five things I can see? …nothing but darkness.
Four things I can touch?
Dean slowly moved his hand, dragging his fingers across the metal of his gun, the rough seam of his jeans, the smoother texture of his shirt, before rubbing his thumb and finger together to feel the roughness of his own skin.
With his mind no longer slipping, Dean skipped the rest of the mental exercise. Focusing once again on his environment, Dean quickly realized that he'd been wrong with his initial assessment of what he could see. He could see something. Like a bright star twinkling in the night sky, there was a pinprick of light in the darkness. Realizing that this speck of light must be the portal, Dean took a step in that direction. As he turned slightly towards the light, it dawned on Dean that he had overlooked another sensation, one that would help keep him grounded. The pulling sensation from the potion was still there.
Cas was behind him.
As Dean walked toward the lone star in the darkness he tried to keep his focus on the pulling sensation in his chest, his one reminder that Cas was behind him. But, even with this beacon of hope within him, he soon felt the tendrils of doubt weaving themselves into his mind.
What if Cas isn't following and I'm walking away from him?
What if The Empty is holding Cas back, forcing him to watch me leave?
What if he doesn't love me anymore?
Desperate to try to distract himself from his own brain, Dean found himself once again drumming his fingernail against the flask. Each tap not only made a sound but also sent a gentle vibration across the metal cap and combined, this seemed to be enough to distract his mind.
As he walked Dean soon found himself tapping away to songs that came to mind. No singing, no humming, just tapping and nodding his head to the song.
—
After tapping out what Dean believed was the best version of Paint it Black that The Empty had ever heard, Dean didn't move on to the next song on his mental playlist. Instead, he gave his fingers a break and let the silence descend again. Not wanting to give the negative thoughts a single moment to creep back in, Dean quickly tried to keep his mind occupied and grounded as he continued his journey.
He was halfway through a mental debate about if the flickering light was closer to the brightness of Jupiter or Venus when Dean picked up a faint noise. Silencing his inner voice, he couldn’t help but slow his pace as he listened carefully.
Silence.
Just as he was about to speed back up and chalk the noise up to his imagination, Dean heard the sound again – a soft tapping noise. Surprised at hearing something other than himself in The Empty, it took Dean a few moments to decipher what he was actually hearing. It wasn't just random taps. It was morse code.
Dean had known morse code for most of his life — he'd learnt about it at school and soon snaffled a guidebook. Figuring it might be useful, Dean had committed it to memory and when Sammy was old enough, taught him the code too. Communicating dots had been easy. A simple tap of a finger or two against a thumb expressed those well. It was the dashes that had been difficult until one day Dean realized that if he rubbed his thumb down against his index and middle fingers it made the perfect long noise for a dash. And right now, Dean swore he could hear someone using that exact technique.
Straining his ears, Dean carefully listened to the code being tapped out.
Dash dot dot. Pause. Dot. Pause. Dot dash. Pause. Dash dot.
<Dean>
Knowing that there was only one being (that he knew of) sworn to silence nearby, Dean quickly responded with his own message, tapping and rubbing his thumb against his fingers. Slide tap slide tap. Pause. Tap slide. Pause. Tap tap tap.
<Cas>
With the simple three letters done, Dean held his breath, as he awaited, and hoped, for a reply.
Dash dot dash dash. Dot. Dot dot dot.
<Yes>
Dot dot. Dash dash.
<im>
Dot dot dot dot. Dot. Dot dash dot. Dot.
<here>
Letting out his breath in relief, Dean felt some of the tension he'd been holding vanish. Cas had managed to follow Dean through The Empty.
However, that feeling of relief was short-lived as Dean remembered the rules The Empty had laid out. Sliding and tapping his fingers, Dean shot off a quick reply.
<We cant talk>
Dean hoped that Cas understood what he meant, that it wasn't a case of Dean not wanting to talk to the angel. Continuing to move forward at a reduced pace, Dean listened carefully for both Cas's response and the possible arrival of The Empty.
<No talk. We r not talk>
As he mentally translated Cas's reply, Dean realized that the angel had a point — The Empty had said no talking. It hadn't ruled out other forms of communication.
Dean couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips. Cas was once again finding ways to annoy the ancient entity. Reassured that they weren't breaking the rules, Dean asked the next burning question.
<Can u c me>
<Ur soul glows>
Somewhat surprised at that answer, Dean took a moment to process this new information and the questions that it raised. Could Cas see Dean's soul because of the potion or because he always could? If Cas could see the glow, then what about The Empty? Was it following the glow, waiting for an opportune moment?
As Dean tried to sort through the mental barrage that Cas's answer had caused, he nearly missed Cas's next message.
<U can speed up>
With the confirmation that Cas was right behind him, Dean's attention had drifted from the task at hand to the angel. Now that he knew that Cas could see him, Dean picked up the pace and continued to stride towards the portal.
—
Focusing on the pinprick of light ahead of him, a small burst of joy swept through Dean as he noticed it start to grow. Having been the size of a star in the sky for so long, the twinkling light now seemed to grow with each step closer. Before he knew it, Dean found himself standing within reach of the rippling portal.
As he stared at the portal deja vu started to sweep through Dean's mind. He had been in this situation before. In Purgatory.
Behind him a soft tapping sounded as Cas tapped out a single word.
<Dean>
He could almost hear Cas's questioning tone in the taps, could picture the slightly confused expression along with the head tilt, as Cas wondered why Dean had come to a halt.
Right now, Dean was glad he couldn't speak. If allowed to Dean wasn't sure if he would be able to talk, to even convey what was stopping him from stepping through.
Taking a steadying breath, and with a slight tremor in his hand, he tapped out a message.
<will u follow>
Time seemed to slow down as he waited for Cas's answer, hoping the angel would be able to pick up on the words Dean didn't express.
Will you follow me this time ?
Or will this be like Purgatory all over again?
As the first sounds of Cas's reply sounded, Dean found himself holding his breath as he decoded a ‘y’, followed by an ‘e’ and an ‘s’.
<yes>
Somewhat reassured, Dean tried to remind himself that Cas had absolutely no reason to lie to him. The angel could have refused to undertake this journey, or he could have broken The Empty's rules deliberately. But Cas had followed Dean through the darkness and had even found a way to get around the stipulations. He had even told Dean that he would follow him through the portal. Dean knew he had to trust the angel behind him.
He had to have faith.
Focusing on the pull in his chest, the reminder that Cas was here with him, Dean took a step forward. Followed by another. Before he knew it, Dean found himself stepping into the portal and out of The Empty.
As Dean stepped back into The Bunker, his senses were suddenly overwhelmed after being deprived for so long. The dim light of the dungeon felt less like a single bulb and more like someone had pointed a spotlight directly at Dean’s face. His own breathing sounded like some sort of industrial fan. And the smell of rancid blood attacked his nasal passages. Struggling to remain oriented under this onslaught, Dean managed to step forward to make space for Cas to enter the room. With his head spinning Dean stumbled, narrowly avoiding the bowl of spell ingredients on the floor and managed to stagger over to a wall. He could feel himself slipping, unable to fight the darkness sweeping over him. Losing consciousness, Dean could have sworn he heard Cas call out to him.
—
As he started to wake, the first thing Dean noticed was the comfort of his mattress under his back. The way it molded around him and supported him after even the hardest hunts. Dean couldn't help but feel it had been too long since he had been in his comfy bed. As he became more awake Dean couldn't help but wonder why it had been so long. He tried to grasp his most recent memory.
Cas .
With the memories of The Empty flooding back in, Dean found himself fully awake. Opening his eyes he quickly sat up, fully intent on springing out of bed. However, the presence of a certain angel sitting at his desk stopped him in his tracks.
“Cas?”
The angel, lit up by Dean's desk lamp, gazed at Dean.
“Hello, Dean. How are you feeling?”
Pushing the covers back, Dean swung his legs off the mattress to sit on the edge of the bed. Looking at Cas, he could see concern in the angel's eyes. Shrugging the question off, Dean simply replied with, “I'm fine” before following up with, “what about you? Did The Empty try to stop you from leaving?”
Cas shook his head.
“No, we followed the rules so The Empty didn't try to stop me. But as for you being fine — Sam told me you'd been gone for a week. The Empty is no place for humans as I'm sure you realize now. I'll go get him —”
As Cas went to move Dean reached out and grabbed the angel's arm. Looking up at the half standing angel, Dean couldn't stop himself from asking, “Stay? Sam can wait. I–We need to talk.”
Sitting back down, Cas pulled the chair closer to Dean. Concern was still etched on his face.
“Dean? What is it?”
Unable to pull his gaze away from Cas, Dean knew what he needed to say. And he knew he needed to say it now before he chickened out.
“When The Empty took you, you–you said something. Told me you loved… me.”
A sad, wistful smile appeared on the angel's face.
“I did. And I still do. I meant every word of what I said. But I don't expect you to feel the same. If you want me to leave once we've finished the case, I understand.”
“Case? What case?”
Cas tilted his head in confusion.
“I presumed you needed me for a case.” Pausing for a moment, Cas appeared to consider this new information before asking, “Why did you come for me?”
Internally sighing, Dean realized it was now or never.
“For you Cas. Not for your help on a case. But for you. Whenever you die Cas, I'm a mess.” Dean pulled his gaze away from Cas, looking at a spot above the angel's head. “I hit the bottle, hard. I do stupid things well, stupider than normal. And I get careless and reckless — been told it's like I've got a death wish. I never really understood it. Until now.”
Briefly pausing, Dean looked back at Cas, hoping he wasn't disgusted by Dean’s actions. Rather than being disgusted, the angel appeared to look concerned at this revelation, while also taking in the hunter's every word. Meeting the angel's gaze, Dean continued.
“You telling me you loved me and that you cared, and you wanted something you couldn't have? It made me realize; I felt the same way about you. I care about you like you are family, but I–I love you in a whole different way. That's why I came for you. Not for a case, but for me. For us.”
As Dean spoke, he could feel the tell-tale prickling in his eyes as tears started to fall. He knew there was no point in fighting them and by the time his voice broke on the ‘for us’, his cheeks were wet.
Having not moved a muscle while Dean was speaking, Cas now reached over and took Dean's free hand into his own.
“Dean, I never dared to hope for this moment, but now it is here — Dean, I really want to kiss you. May I?”
Maintaining his gaze with Cas, Dean nodded.
“I wanna kiss you too.”
Leaning forward, butterflies briefly fluttered in Dean's stomach, but they soon vanished as his lips met Cas's. Letting go of his arm, Dean reached for the angel, pulling him closer as they deepened the now passionate kiss.