Chapter Text
Fukase: the meme squad— also known as the disabled gang.
Flower: ... At some point we've GOTTA find a catchier name.
Oliver: Leave it, he won't stop.
Piko: July is our month— Disability Pride Month! And it's our prerogative to talk about our issues and make our voices heard!
Fukase: It is also our duty and honour to complain about both our disability and people’s stupid questions.
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Flower: I lost a day of my life lying in bed doing nothing but sleep. And even though I did nothing but sleep, I don't feel refreshed or feel any more able to get out of bed and do things today.
Piko: Disabled culture!
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Piko: I have to go ask Miki to look at a wall and tell me whether the horrible robot skeleton thing I'm seeing is real or if it's a delusion.
Miki: Oh, yeah, this one’s real.
Wide shot. Calne Ca is standing there.
Fukase: Disabled culture!
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Fukase: People think that my cane is just for show and don't believe it's real! And they accuse me of faking if they see me walk without it— even though that's not how that works! Whatever, I just trip them when they walk by.
Flower: Disabled culture!
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Oliver: For fuck's sake this is the last time I'll ever say this, get on my right side where I can SEE YOU—
Flower: Disabled culture!
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Flower: Never anything so depressing as getting out of the funk temporarily only to realize that everyone else is much further ahead than you, and feeling unable to catch up, which causes you to spiral further!
Piko: Disabled culture!
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Oliver: this is our ‘Have you tried yoga/clean eating’ tally.
He pulls out a large whiteboard, of which the entire surface is covered with tally marks. He then unfolds a second, then third page also covered in tallies, until the board is comically large.
Fukase: If I had a penny per tally, I'd finally be richer than Miku.
Flower, grimacing: Disabled culture!
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Fukase uses his cane to turn his light switch off.
Fukase: never mind, having a cane rules. Disabled win, everybody.
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Flower: My head hurts.
Fukase: My hands hurt…
Oliver: My ankles hurt!
Piko: Guys, for the last half an hour my phone has felt like it's vibrating even though nobody's texting me and there's no notifications of either texts or calls and I don't even have my phone with me right now.
A beat.
Fukase: Yeah, you have it the worst.
Flower: time for us to all scream in agony?
Oliver: Yup.
All: (Various screams of anguish)
All: Disabled culture!
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LEN enters, so anxious he is practically vibrating: GOD! Have any of you people seen my headphones?
Fukase: Whoa, whoa. What's up with you, banana boy?
Len: Well, I wanted to do some work, but I need to do chores first, and to do chores I need music or else I'll go insane from hearing the beeping sound from Luka’s TV show, and I can't find my headphones right now, so I don't have my music, and I can feel my focus slowly slipping away while I'm looking for it, and it's gonna be lunchtime soon which will TOTALLY break my groove because then I'll have to figure out how to switch from that back to work, and the deadline’s coming up so I feel even worse because I put this off for so long that it's biting me in the ass and it's my fault that things are so bad now. So.
All: …
Flower: Wow, man.
Len: Ugh, sorry. That was… too much, right?
Fukase: Y’know, Len, I don't think I’ve ever understood you as well as I do now.
Len: …Thanks?
Piko: Listen, all of that and a run-on sentence? He’s part of the gang, guys.
Len: The… you guys have a gang ???
Oliver: Len, I'll just… say you should maybe go and google ADHD. In the meantime, welcome to the disabled… gang… god, Fukase, we need a better name.
Fukase: Well, it can't have ‘squad’ in it, we can't have two groups that end with squad! It's, like, derivative!
Piko: As if ‘the disabled squad’ is any better!
Flower: Well, you guys complain but you never come up with anything!
Fukase: Yeah, and I've been having flare ups, so there!
Piko: Well, I'm sorry I could barely work when I keep seeing beheaded people lurking in my room! And I'm a V2, haven't I gone through enough? You're the one who's supposed to coin things, anyway!
Fukase: What are you talking about, my company's basically abandoned me!
Oliver: Ugh, come on! You're still popular in the fandom, don't be so dramatic. Hiyama-sensei has DID and nobody really knows him. If we're going by that measure, he has it the worst.
Fukase: But he and Miki are getting a super cool SynthV voicebank at the end of the year!!
Flower: What if it turns out like my Cevio before I got my update? Fancy voicebanks don't mean anything.
Fukase: Hey, I thought you were on my side!
The conversation devolves into pointless squabbling. Zoom out to Len at the edge of the group, still looking shocked.
Len: ...
Len: What the hell is ADHD????????????