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Logan sat on the couch reading a newspaper- well... Not technically 'reading' but more like finding an excuse to pretend as if he were distracted. In all honesty, he couldn't focus for crap. Every sentence he tried to read on the crumpled paper was read without regard as his thoughts revolved around 'him'.
Wade was bouncing around the apartment like an over excited child high on sugar, all of his suit on besides his mask. For the past week he had been going crazy talking about an old friend of his who was going to be popping back into town. Some guy called "Cable" or something, Logan couldn't care to remember.
But the thing was was that Logan 'did' remember.
See, Logan had met practically all of Wade's friends, including a few extra, and while it had taken a while to warm up to them, Logan had never felt this kind of... Frustration.
Vanessa, for example, was Wade's ex. And even though Wade had talked a time or two about trying to win her back, Logan could tell it wasn't meant to be. Not only did Vanessa have a new boyfriend who she was happy with, but Wade wasn't attempting to do anything special to win her back- in fact, Logan was positive Wade didn't even want her back anymore.
So he didn't have anything to worry about.
Until now, that is...
For the past week all it had been was "Cable this" and "Cable that." Blah blah blah, just shut up already! Ugh, it took Logan so much effort not to break stuff or stab the merc both because of embarrassment and respect for Al's apartment.
Now, about the embarrassment part. Logan was basically having an internal war with himself and his emotions. First, he was angry and frustrated because he didn't like the way Wade spoke so highly of this Cable guy. Second, he was worried and anxious that there was a possibility Wade and Cable had something more going on than just casual friendship. And third, Logan was embarrassed that he was feeling this jealous in the first place.
Roughly rubbing his forehead, Logan glared while watching Wade run back and forth through the kitchen in a rush to finish cooking whatever the heck smelt so damn delicious. Apparently the meal was for Cable. Logan huffed. Wade never cooked anything for him...
The sound of the doorbell ringing startled Wade more than it did Logan. Mary Puppins barked once and happily went to scratch at the door.
"No no no no, I'm not done yet," Wade began to pace, struggling between opening the door or resuming cooking, "I just-he-it's early-why-fuck me-fuck him-fuck fuck fuck. Peanut! I need you to come watch this for me."
Logan grinned a very fake grin and laughed sarcastically. Like hell was he going to help cook for Wade's little 'friend'. "Here's an idea: go fuck yourself."
"Well I would, but between ejaculation and house fires, I choose the latter," Wade wiped his hands on his pink apron and rushed to the door, "Thanks for the support, peanut, I'll be thinking about this moment while crying myself to sleep tonight as I reimagine my momma leaving me on the sidewalk in front of a Mcdonald's. Wanna know what happened to her? Well, ha, so do I."
"Oh my fucking god," Logan grumbled and rolled his eyes.
Wade picked up Mary and opened the door, saying cheerfully, "Pookie!"
Logan grimaced. "Pookie?" What? Ok, don't overthink this, he chanted to himself. Wade had silly pet names for everyone. It was like Peter/sugar bear. Totally platonic and innocent. There was no reason to get angry.
As the door opened up wider, the smell of a variety of metals filled the room along with cheap men's body wash and cherry chapstick. Logan tried his damnedest to focus on his newspaper, but he couldn't. Every time he lowered his head, he found his eyes moving back towards the door. Just what did this amazing 'friend' look like.
"Wanna explain why I was imprisoned by a bunch of time-fuckers for a whole week?" Cable was immediate on asking as he stepped into the apartment.
Logan was hyperactive with how fast he took in the details. Ok. The guy wasn't that tall nor that short. His voice was low, gravely, and dangerous yet calm. He wore black pants, a grey vest, a fanny pack, multiple weapons and half a cape. His hair was short, silver and black. One of his eyes was mechanical looking and funky, and he had a metal arm.
Logan wasn't going to lie, this level of weirdness was totally down Wade's alleyway.
"Ok, first, I'd like to introduce you to Mary Puppins- aka, Dogpool- she's the newest addition to the team. We rescued her from a really nasty variant of mine- totally not good looking by the way, maybe a little bit too much on the top, could have done for a day at the salon- oh, and no healing factor. Can you believe it?"
"I don't care about your ugly mut, so why don't you just shut up and answer my question already," Cable, despite being obviously impatient and irritated, spoke calmly.
Wade gasped and jerked Mary away, "How dare you call her ugly. I'll have you know that she's a beautiful mix of uhh... Something and something else- and yeah, sure, maybe there's some imbred stuff going on, but that's not the point! The point is that she survived. She survived and she's happy and she's loving. If I were you, I'd take notes."
Cable scuffed and rolled his eyes. "Just answer my question."
"Right right, let's talk about everything 'you' want to talk about. After all, I've only known you to be generous-"
"Wade." Logan cautiously said.
"Remember the shit with Russell? You didn't even give him a chance to explain. I mean I know he was kinky and had a rather slippery slope and his fingers were always weirdly lubricated-"
"Wade, your-"
"But that still didn't give you the excuse to kill an innocent child. What kind of monster are you? I'm sorry to say this, but The Black Phone already had it's run. If you wanna kill children, you're gonna have to get creative and I don't mean-"
"Wade, for the love of God, your food!" Logan finally shouted.
Wade heaved the most dramatically stupid gasp, handed Mary over to an unwilling Cable and rushed to the kitchen where his stir-fry had taken on a rather unpleasant black sheen.
Awkwardly holding the dog, Cable shut the door and took a few steps into the apartment. He looked around for a few seconds before finally settling upon the stranger on the couch.
Logan could feel his eyes and decided to look up and meet them.
"Where's Al?" Was what the man asked.
Logan had to admit, he had been expecting something else. "She's takin' a nap. Why you wanna know?"
Using one hand to hold the dog, Cable unzipped his fanny pack and took out a plastic bag full of peculiar white powder. "Give this to her, will ya," And then he tossed the baggie onto the coffee table.
Logan couldn't help himself. His anger got the better of him. "Why don't ya do it your god damn self?" He growled.
Fuck, how embarrassing. Logan could feel his face burning. This guy hadn't been here that long and already he couldn't stand him. The patience and calm he displayed was admirable and no where near anything Logan could reach. He was also the only other person who Wade praised almost as much as him, and that made him... Insecure.
"Hey Wilson, you aware that there's a dick on your couch?" Cable hollered.
"Are you aware that there's about to be six blades inside you? Three in your face and three up your fuckin' ass." Logan accidentally ripped his newspaper as he sat upwards.
After turning burners off and rearranging skillets, Wade rushed back into the living room and made a quick time-out sign. "Whoa whoa, hey, not in Al's place. If you two wanna get jiggy, by all means I'd love to be in the splash zone, but I'm afraid we're gonna have to take it elsewhere."
Wade reached down, grabbed the baggie and tossed it into an empty mug, "Al will find her magical pixie dust, no worries. And, to answer your question, said dick on my couch is none other than the infamous wolverine."
Cable quickly asked, "I thought he was dead?"
"And to answer your question before that, I brought him here. Basically we skull fucked the entire TVA and I got a new friend out of it. Oh, and we saved the entire universe from extinction no thanks to this knock-off, finger-face fucking, bald, totally-didn't-have-a-nice-ass Charles Xavier."
"That doesn't really answer my question," Cable went to hand Mary back over to Wade, "And I don't give a fuck where he came from. Just answer me this: is my family going to be safe?"
"Technically it really did answer your question because I said that we saved the entire universe. So yes, pookie, your family is going to be safe." Wade patted his head in a mockery of comfort.
Cable simply shoved his hand away and said gruffly, "Knowing you, saving the universe could mean having the world's most fucked up acid trip."
"That was one time!" Wade argued.
Logan relaxed although only slightly. He really, really didn't like this guy, but Wade was right. They couldn't fight in Al's apartment. Maybe some other time...
After what felt like a lifetime of the two arguing, Wade finally convinced Cable to go with him to a nearby restaurant before he left.
"Feel free to come with us, peanut," Wade waved playfully while gathering some stuff.
"Pfft, even the muts got better things to be doin'," Logan spoke in his grumpy, angry tone even though every fiber in his body screamed at him to tag along.
"Nuh uh," Wade picked up Mary and brought her in for some face kisses, "She's comin' with. Have fun developing liver cancer, peanut, I'll make sure to bring you back some good rubbing alcohol."
Logan was almost shaking. Normally Wade would beg him to go with him even if it was just to do laundry, but now? It was as if he could care less about him, and Logan was not used to that.
Logan was not used to not having Wade's attention.
It was driving him insane. He felt like a dam ready to burst. His insecurities entangled with his anger and fed to him a million different thoughts that were attacking him like a hail storm. It was almost difficult to breathe.
What could be so great about Cable that it made Wade want to choose him over Logan, especially for what pretty much sounded like a date?
Logan couldn't stand it. Just the mere thought of Cable getting more of Wade's attention- especially 'that' kind of attention- was simply too much to fight against.
And that's how he ended up here.
In the backseat of a Kia, Logan sipped heavily from a liquor bottle while listening to Wade's endless onslaught of WORDS.
Cable was driving while Wade sat passenger- which totally didn't piss Logan off in any way, mind you.
As Wade dramatically explained the Void, Cassandra, and the TVA, Cable mindlessly listened without much bother. Even when Wade made offensive comments, the most he ever did was mumble a threat and resume driving. Logan would never admit it, but the guy sure had more patience than he did. More 'experience' too...
When Wade finally did talk about Logan, it was faintly positive and mostly degrading. He shamed how mean he was- and yeah, that kind of hit a cord in Logan. He made fun of his drinking problem, his temper and his Batman mask. Though he didn't speak ill of his past or mistakes.
But still, Wade didn't talk about Logan as much as Logan would have liked.
And Wade definitely wasn't talking 'to' Logan as much as Logan would prefer.
And it was beginning to piss Logan off.
When Wade began to talk about activity plans, Logan finally snapped and punched the back of Wade's seat.
"You shut your damn mouth 'bout this 'hiking' bullshit," Logan rose his voice, "In case you forgot, we already got plans."
"We... Do?" Wade turned his head back to give the x-man a very confused look, "And watch it, sunshine, Kia's are very fragile, remember?"
Logan felt slight panic. Ok, they didn't have any plans, but he was getting so sick and tired of hearing the plans Wade was currently making with Cable that he couldn't help himself. He could only hope it would be enough when he gruffly answered, "Yeah, we do. So fuck whatever shit you're trying to come up with now. We're busy."
"We are?" Wade squinted his eyes, "Please explain. Unless we fought a little too hard that dementia fucked my brains while I was unconscious, I don't remember us having any kind of plans."
Logan panicked again. Fuck. What to do. What to say. Maybe he should lie. "I can't believe you forgot about it. Leave it to Wade fuckin' Wilson to mess shit up."
"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. What plans? All I can remember is Al's doctor's appointment and doing the laundry- and to me, those sound more like chores. Not plans," Wade argued.
Logan punched the back of the merc's seat again, only this time harder. It didn't matter if they were fighting or arguing. Just being the spotlight of Wade's attention in any way made Logan feel a sense of longing and relief he hadn't known ever existed inside him.
With the force of the punch causing Wade to suffer minor whiplash, he tilted his head and said softly, "Ok." And then he gently went to place Mary on a protesting Cable's lap.
"If it's another car fight you want, I'll gladly give you one," Wade turned around to face the backseat dweller, "But I'll warn you, we're in a Kia. It's not as strong as the last car we-mother-fucking-bitch-who-shot-Bambi's-mother!"
Logan stabbed Wade through the backseat.
And then an all new blood bath began.
Cable pulled the Kia over, stepped out, lit a cigarette and walked Mary around. He even bought her a few hot-dogs to munch on while they waited for the battle of stupidity to be over with.
After about a ten minute fight and two minute nap, a bloody Wade and Logan slowly emerged from the wrecked yet still functional Kia.
As Wade stumbled around, Logan grabbed him by the collar and yanked him close, growling threatenly, "Get the dog. We're going back home. Now."
"But-I- just what the fuck is your problem?" Wade grabbed his hand and shoved it away, "Ever since last week you've been acting like more of an ass than usual, and that's saying something because you're the ultimate king of ass-holes. If CNN had a contest out for world's biggest ass-hole, you'd win. Ha, for a second I thought it was dying down, but noooooooo. Something pissed you off."
"Enough, Wade," Logan growled, his fists shaking at his sides, "Let's go."
"Ah, no. There's no way I'm going home with the king of ass-holes," Wade stepped back and crossed his arms, "Like, can't you tell me what the fuck it is that's bothering you? Did I dry your clothes too long? There not enough alcohol lying around? Did Mary Puppins poop in your litter box? What? What is it? I know it's something because a week ago you weren't acting like this."
And then it hit Wade. His head snapped up and he was looking over at Cable who was letting two elderly women play with Mary.
"Ohhhhhhhhhh," He drew out in the most painfully obvious manner, "I see what's wrong. Yeah. It makes perfect sense. You're jealous."
Logan slowly turned around, "Say that again?"
Wade grinned big, "You're jealous of pookie over there." And then he started laughing. He laughed so hard that he was snorting, "Oh god, this is hilarious."
"Listen here," Logan stomped up and pointed a deadly finger in Wade's face, "I ain't jealous of no one, you got that? I could care less what you and that creep have planned together."
"Well, if that's as true as you want it to be, then why lie about 'us' having plans?" Wade began to prod.
"Because we fuckin' do," Logan lied and shoved the merc backwards, "You're just too dumb to remember."
"And you're just the one who had to ruin a perfectly good Kia to avoid answering the question as to what exactly those plans were," Wade said rightfully and took a few steps closer to the wolverine. "So... Mind telling me again, this time without the claws?
Barriers in Logan's mind came crashing down, his patience broke and his hidden feelings bled out. Fuck it all. Fuck everything. He had been hiding it for weeks now.
"You wanna know what my fuckin' plans are, Wade?" He growled, looming over the merc with deadly eyes filled with hunger and need.
Wade stared at him with those puppy brown eyes, clearly intimidated and curious- possibly a tad bit concerned, and Logan loved it. He loved it when Wade looked at him, talked to him, and paid attention to him. He loved those adorable eyes, those stupid, scarred lips and pale skin. The endless heap of jokes, puns and comments. Logan loved it all.
He really hoped Cable was watching this, because he was about to make a statement.
"Why don't I give you a fuckin' demonstration," And then he smashed their lips together.
Wade made what could only be described as an excited high-school girl squeal, his back arching and toes curling. He tried to pull away out of pure shock at first, but a firm hand on the back of his head kept him in place. And when Logan's tongue came out to party? That was it.
Wade 'melted'.
Moaning, Wade kissed back with just as much fever, his arms wrapping around Logan's back and finally-FINALLY- going to squeeze his delectable ass cheeks. Best. Wolverine. Ever.
Logan growled, pressing both their bodies together and kissing hungrily. He practically devoured Wade's mouth whilst his hands explored his body. Some time during the kiss one of them bled, but it wasn't clear who. Probably Wade since Logan liked to bite.
When they separated, Wade's eyes took a few seconds to properly flutter open. Logan was still gripping the back of his head and waist, and he growled low and possessively, "That's my fuckin' plan."
"I..." Wade stuttered, "I kinda liked that plan."
"Hey dipshits," Cable hollered, "Place is right there. I'm hungry. Fuck in the street, don't fuck, I don't care, but I'm going. Dogs going with me."
And then he left for the restaurant.
"Aww," Wade smiled sweetly, "He likes her. Now... About the fucking?"
"Why don't we see just how much the Kia can withstand?" Logan gestured to the partially ruined car beside them.
Wade laughed and stroked his cheek, "Oh, I love your plans so much."
Logan gripped him tightly and smiled, "Me too."