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🐸Frogstarion🐸
Astarion opened his eyes and winced. Sunlight. He immediately rose to his feet and searched for the nearest place to hide, which was difficult to do in this brightness. It took a while before his eyes were used to it.
He looked at his hands to confirm what he was feeling; he must have been in the sun for quite a while, as it was around midday, and he wasn’t dead or burning. He closed his eyes and lifted his head towards the sun, feeling its warmth on his skin.
As he wondered how this could be possible, he remembered being snatched from the streets of Baldur’s Gate by a giant tentacle. Astarion shuddered. It transported him onto a flying ship, where another tentacled freak put a worm in his eye.
That worm was concerning, but Cazador would definitely be the bigger problem. Even if Astarion would explain his master that he was taken away by no fault of his own, Cazador’s wrath would be unforgiving. He needed to find a way to hide from him.
Nothing in his surroundings told him where he was. There was the wreckage of the weird tentacled spaceship, a river and a forest. Astarion sighed. He hated the wilderness. Since he didn’t know where he was, it didn’t matter much which direction he would choose. He started walking and hoped he’d find something or someone useful along the way.
He heard voices ahead of him and eventually saw two men shouting at an old lady. They were insisting the lady knew something about their sister, who left them to find a hag for help. A hag, Astarion thought to himself. If I play this well, a hag can probably help me.
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“A FROG?! YOU TURNED ME INTO A FROG?! YOU FUCKING TREACHEROUS HAG! I’LL KILL YOU!”
Ethel looked down at Astarion hopping on her floor. “Calm down, petal. I can’t understand you without a potion of Speak with Animals. You’re just ribbeting at me.”
“THEN TAKE ONE YOU FOUL OLD BITCH!”
Elthel completely ignored him. “But I can guess what you’re trying to tell me, and to that I say; you wanted a way to hide from your master for eternity. Trust me, he won’t look twice at a frog. You’ll be safe in my swamp. Now, stop bothering me and leave me to my experiments on your spleen, or I’ll step on you!”
“YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!”
Elthel gave astarion a stern look and shook a finger at him. “Stop the ribbeting. Go and find Mayrina, she’s outside petting the sheep. You can moan at each other about how terrible your lives are. Shoo!”
Hop
Hop
Hop
Hop
Hop
Hop
Astarion saw a woman in the bog from the balcony, petting some redcaps standing around her with unamused expressions on their faces. Astarion sighed and wondered if it would be useful to befriend the young human woman. Would it even be possible to do that as a frog?
He hopped onwards into the bog, and jumped on her shoulder. She shrieked. “You startled me, little frog. What do you want? Surely you’re not after the hay for the sheep?” She petted Astarion’s little green head.
“Those aren’t sheep. They’re redcaps.”
“I’ll take that as a no,” Mayrina said. “Sit tight, little frog, we’ll feed the sheep together.”
“They’re redcaps.”
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Astarion had heard Mayrina’s entire life’s story in the first afternoon they spent together. He was glad he didn’t need to put effort into appearing interested, because he didn’t have many muscles in his frog face to show bored expressions. The downside of being a frog is that a frog stomach aches for flies. He had caught half a dozen already. With his tongue. It disgusted him, but it seemed to happen without thinking about it. He guessed that was the animal instinct he now had.
Mayrina was kind to him, even though he was just a frog to her. She took care of him, making sure he was comfortable on her shoulder during the day and on her pillow at night. She even fed him dead flies she found here and there, which he appreciated, since he didn’t have to catch them out of the air, which hurt his ego quite a lot.
Auntie Ethel had commented that ‘ the frog ’ had found her. That monster didn’t even have the decency to tell Mayrina that he wasn’t really a frog.
Mayrina had to eat a rotten pie because Ethel told her she’s ’eating for two’, a group of four people in armour came in to see auntie Ethel. They told her they had tadpoles in their heads as well. Astarion tried to shift his focus from the fly that he was tracking through the room to the conversation between them. He recognised some of them; they had been on the ship as well.
Those people were actively looking for a solution to one of his problems. They seemed capable of protecting him from Cazador, or even fighting his old master with him. It was time to change teams. He thanked Mayrina, and hopped over to the group of four.
Which one had the best chance at accepting him and wouldn’t swat him off the shoulder? he wondered. The one that was on fire was an obvious pass. The one with the long black braid and bangs didn’t have a very kind attitude about her, and neither did the green woman with a tiny nose. The man in purple robes seemed kind enough, though.
“Little frog, where did you go?” Mayrina called. It broke Astarion’s frog heart. He turned his little green body around and watched her looking for him. He sighed. He couldn’t leave her after she had been so kind to him.
“I’m here!” he answered. He knew she wouldn’t understand him, but at least his attempts to speak produced sound, so it was effective after all. Mayrina smiled when she spotted him.
Hop
Hop
Hop
Hop
“Don’t go too far, little frog. I was worried I lost you.” Mayrina cupped her hands and Astarion hopped inside, snuggling in her palm.
“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”
The group of four attacked Auntie Ethel, and Mayrina and Astarion were transported into a cage suspended above an underground river in a cave. It was dark and the smell in the air was even fouler than the bog itself, even for a frog’s nose. Mayrina sat down and started to cry. A part of Astarion was annoyed by her constant moaning, but he also understood her reaction to harsh reality. Her life was perfect until her husband died, and it all went downhill from there, to the point where she believed she could solve some problems by giving her baby to a hag. The poor girl was grieving and afraid, like Astarion when he went to the hag to find a solution to his problems. He hopped onto her knees and placed a paw on her cheek in an attempt to comfort her.
Mayrina smiled while the tears were still rolling down her face. “Oh, little frog. Sometimes it seems like you can understand me. Wouldn’t that be nice.”
“I understand you.”
She laughed. “I’m going mad, aren’t I?”
“No, darling. You’re not mad. You’re just a kind soul. I didn’t think those existed.”
The group of four came into this cave to fight the hag, and between the shouting, the wailing and the cage that was set on fire, Astarion had a hard time following what was going on. Mayrina held him close and he waited until this nightmare was over.
They were still alive after the nightmare. Mayrina was talking to the people who killed the hag, but Astarion didn’t follow anything that was happening. He turned around on Mayrina’s shoulder and found the fly he heard before. It was just out of reach, but if he jumped towards it, he would catch it.
And he was hungry, so he did.
Mayrina shrieked and called him. “Little frog! Why did you do that? You need to be more careful.”
While Astarion was munching on the fly, she picked him up and continued talking to the hag killers. Good, Astarion thought. She’s telling them about her husband. Surely these people will help.
“Help the nice lady, purple man,” he said, even though he was aware that nobody would understand him.
Or did they? The man narrowed his eyes at Astarion. For a moment, Astarion saw loads of books and a winged cat, carrying a pair of boots towards him. But it wasn’t him, it was the man standing before him.
“There’s something wrong with that frog,” the man said.
Mayrina covered Astarion with one of her hands. “My frog is fine. Leave him alone!”
“He’s right, Mayrina. I’m not a frog.” Astarion sighed. He tucked his arms underneath his body and went to sleep. This whole ordeal had been exhausting.
He woke up when Mayrina gently urged him to crawl out of her hands. He stepped on a smooth wooden surface and looked around. They were outside again.
“This is Connor, little frog. He would have liked you. He would have taught you tricks, I know he would.” Tears streamed down her face. “I miss him so much. We’ve been together for so long, and loved each other so dearly, I couldn’t imagine a reality in which he was gone. But he is really gone, and it feels unreal. It’s not right.”
She burst out crying and sobbing. “I don’t know what to do, little frog. I can’t do this without him. How can I raise a child alone, and in this state?!” She sat down on the floor and buried her head in her hands.
Behind her, the man in purple appeared with the ladies in armour behind him. “Mayrina, I found a wand the hag was planning to use to resurrect your husband, but I don’t think he will return to you in the state you want him to be in. I’m sorry.”
Mayrina stood up and yelled at the man. Astarion joined her. “You will help Mayrina, wizard, or I’ll turn you inside out!”
He saw red when the man didn’t show any sign he’d do as Mayrina asked. He instinctively cast Mirror Image and spat his venom at the man.
The man screamed as he was hit, and sent three red streaks of magic at Astarion. The impact didn’t hit Astarion, but landed on the wizard instead.
Astarion had no idea how that had happened, so he could only laugh at him being close to death already, by his own spell.
The green woman screamed as she charged on the frog, and managed to hurt Astarion pretty badly, but not nearly enough to kill him. He gave her a venomous look, since he was out of real venom at that moment, and watched her as she suddenly decided to charge the black haired lady instead.
“What the fuck is wrong with that frog!?” The woman on fire roared. She tried to separate the two other women, who winced when she touched them.
“I didn’t sign up for this. I’m out,” the black haired woman said, turned around and walked away. Since the green woman was still trying to attack her, they both left.
The woman on fire helped the wizard on his feet, which clearly caused some burns on him, and they followed the others.
“I don’t understand, it’s just a tiny frog! We’re running away from a frog!” The wizard complained as he stumbled away.
“Just a tiny frog? Ha! You have no idea,” Astarion yelled after them. He turned around, proud of his victory, and saw Mayrina frozen to the ground in surprise, or fear.
“I guess there is something strange about you after all, little frog. Are you going to attack me as well?” she asked with a slight tremble in her voice.
“Of course not, darling. You wouldn’t let me sleep on your pillow anymore if I did.”
Mayrina sighed. “I hope that means no, but most of your ribbits sound the same, honestly.”
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Astarion had travelled there with Mayrina after she gave her husband a proper burial. He watched her grow in confidence in the city. She brought together a small community of people who had also been victims of hags, and she often spoke fondly of the prospect of raising her child. She had become a brave young woman and Astarion was proud to be her little frog. He got used to a life as a pet, and he wasn’t mad that this turned out to be his fate.
He didn’t mind the hats she made him wear at all. She made little paper hats, and sometimes something out of fabric. She’d always put him in front of a mirror to show how cute he was. Even though this frog body was not his own, he loved seeing his reflection. He liked being fussed over and she called him handsome a lot, and he would receive pets after playing dress-up.
When Mayrina decided that an open mouth meant a smile, it became a way for Astarion to communicate with her more effectively. He used it when Mayrina was thinking out loud about the name for her baby. She somehow knew she was carrying a boy, and trusted her instinct.
“How about Milo?” No reaction.
“Tedrick?” Every name ending in rick was too upper class even to Astarion’s taste.
“I’ve always liked Anderewe.” Astarion cared for Mayrina dearly, but she was terrible at naming a baby.
She sighed. “I was also thinking about naming him after Connor. He will have something from his dad he would never lose.” Astarion watched her face. The pain of loss was still fresh and deep, but he saw that honouring her husband would make her happy, even though the memory was painful. He opened his mouth to show his approval.
Mayrina smiled back. “Do you like Connor, little frog?”
Astarion kept his mouth open, showing her his ‘smile’.
“Connor it is, then.” She touched her belly lovingly and spoke to her child. “I can’t wait to meet you, Connor.”
Astarion’s favourite activity by far was when Mayrina also spotted a fly. She’d carry him while chasing it, and rooted for him to catch it. Sometimes it took three seconds, sometimes it was half an hour, but they always managed to catch the fly as a team.
Mayrina regularly expressed her doubts about being alone in raising her child. Astarion would often place his paw on her cheeks as she cried, trying to comfort her. He hated that he couldn’t tell her she would be fine.
“Wouldn’t it be nice if you turned into a prince if I kissed you?” She laughed through her tears one day. “Just like the fairytale. We would live happily ever after. And you could help me with the baby.”
“There’s no harm in trying.”
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Mayrina and Astarion didn’t expect to meet the four people who fought the hag again, but since they loved poking their noses in other people’s business, they met again in Baldur’s Gate. They found the Hag Support Group at the exact time they needed help. A traitor had joined Mayrina’s community and turned her into a sheep. Astarion was livid, stayed on her back, attacking anyone who came too close to her.
The man in Purple stood before Astarion and Mayrina with their eyes wide open. “It’s… that frog. Remember that frog? I still have nightmares about that day in the swamp,” the woman on fire said.
The man raised his hands. “We’re here to help. We know that Mayrina was turned into a sheep, and we can reverse it, hopefully.” He took a green bottle out of his bag and showed it to Astarion. “This is a potion of Speak with Animals. I will take it, so we can talk. There’s no need to attack us, okay?”
After he drank the potion, Astarion started talking.
“ Finally someone figured out how to talk to me. I AM NOT A FROG!”
“Right. Okay. Do you mean that you are a toad or that you were changed into a frog?”
Astarion stared at the man in disbelief. “I am sitting on a sheep who is actually the human leader of a group of hag survivors. Can’t you take an educated guess? Don’t ever call me a toad. I am a frog.”
The man nodded. “That’s what I thought. We can probably change you back as well. If that’s what you want.”
“If that’s what you want ? Are you mad?”
“I don’t want to assume anything. Anyway, I’m Gale, this is Karlach, Shadowheart, and Lae’zel," Gale gestured to the women beside him.
“I really don’t care.”
“Your manners suit your current frog state. A word of advice: be nice to the people offering a helping hand. Shadowheart knows a spell to remove a curse, we think it will do the trick.”
Astarion would have rolled his eyes if he could. “Well, go on then.”
Shadowheart stepped forwards and cast her spell on Mayrina, who changed back, knocking Astarion to the floor in the process. Mayrina immediately turned around and picked up Astarion.
“Little frog? You’re a person? You could understand me all this time?” she asked.
“He can answer that when I remove his curse as well. Please put him on the floor,” Shadowheart said.
“Wait!” Astarion turned to Gale. “Before you do, I need to tell Mayrina something.”
“I’ll pass it on,” Gale said.
Astarion turned around in Mayrina’s hands and faced her. “My sweet. Before I turn back, there’s something you need to know. I don’t know how to put this… I’m a vampire.” An awkward laugh escaped his throat that sounded awfully like a ribbit, even to himself.
“He’s a vampire,” Gale translated to Mayrina.
Astarion turned around. “ Really? In this case it is vital that my message is not summarised.”
“He called you sweet and was nervous to tell you,” Gale added. Astarion put his frog hand on his frog face. This man was useless.
Mayrina stared at the frog in her hands. Astarion opened his mouth, hoping she understood that he wouldn’t be dangerous to her.
“Nevermind that, I changed in front of him! I treated him like a pet!”
“I liked how you treated me,” Astarion reassured her.
“He said he liked that,” Gale translated.
“The pet thing, Gale! Don’t leave out important stuff!”
“Oh. Yes. He was talking about you treating him as a pet. He liked being treated like a pet,” Gale added.
Mayrina didn’t know how to react and kept staring at the frog in her hands.
“There’s just that there’s a vampire master in Baldur’s Gate who is looking for me. I want to change back, but that means I can’t stay,” Asatrion said.
Gale translated the message properly this time. Mayrina looked at him. “I know you’ve helped me before when you didn’t have to, risking your lives to kill the hag. Would you do that again to help my little frog? Can you kill a vampire lord for us?”
Karlach’s face lit up. “A vampire lord? Cool! I want to fight a vampire lord!”
“You heard my friend, Mayrina. We’re happy to help,” Gale answered.
Mayrina thanked him and put Astarion on the floor. Shadowheart cast her spell, and the handsome pale elf stood before them.
Astarion sighed in relief. He looked down at his own hands, and was glad to see his fingers without wet webs connecting them. He ran his hand through his hair and his tongue over his fangs. He was back.
“Finally! I’ve waited long enough to do this,” he said and approached Mayrina. He took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles.
“Hello darling, my name’s Astarion.”