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“Hey guys, wanna know a fun fact about me?”
Hikaru and Takeshi grunted, unable to stop staring at their game. On his TV screen, a turtle shell impacted Takeshi’s car, prompting a curse from his bald friend.
“I can actually speak Russian,” Masachika said, accidently taking a turn far too wide and falling into the abyss. “Motherfu-”
“Cope, and I doubt that.” Came from Takeshi. “Taking 4 lessons on Duolingo doesn’t count as learning the language, dumbass.”
"Это больше чем ты можешь сказать, ленивая су- <It’s more than you can say, you lazy b-> ” Masachika said, before he received a smack to the back of the head.
“Wait, was that actually-” His kart got caught by a flying shell, the blue explosion sending him flying. “Shit! Hikaru, you son of a-”
“I’ll have you know that my mother is a very nice lady.” Hikaru stayed calm, rocketing into the lead as they headed into the last lap. “But that’s very impressive, Masachika. How long did it take you-”
“2 years, thank you.”
“-to memorise that Google Translate line?” Masachika could hear the smug in his tone. He didn’t take his eyes off the game though, passing several computer-controlled racers. He hoped his aura of spite was radiating towards Hikaru, at least.
“But seriously man, two years. That’s nuts. And you’re fluent?”
“Speaking, yeah. Still can’t read or write, though.” His two friends hum in acknowledgement.
“Wish I had that kind of aptitude,” his bald friend bemoaned, “all I got in my genetics was being unreasonably good at Mario Kart.”
“What did we say about saving smack-talk until after the race?” Finally activating the Bullet Bill he’d been saving the whole time, Masachika rapidly rocketed into the lead from fourth.
“WHAT! How’d you get one of those so far up?!”
“Never heard of item smuggling, oh prodigious one?”
“Shut it!” yelled Takeshi, “just because you have main protagonist powers doesn’t mean you get to act all smug about it!”
“If I’m such a protagonist like you say, where’s my cute silver haired tsundere love interest?”
“With how two are arguing, you won’t even need it. You’re practically an old married couple already.”
“Shut it Hikaru! As if I’d ever- Did you just pick Rainbow Road?!”
“My name is Alisa Mikhailovna Kujou. I’m of Russian descent from my father’s side, and Japanese from my mother’s side. It’s a pleasure to meet you all.”
“Aright, Kujou-san. Please take a seat next to Kuze-san.”
Masachika Kuze…was not someone who paid much attention, if he was being incredibly honest. Especially in class. However, he was forced out of his half-asleep state by the gazes of Hikaru and Takeshi. Well, maybe just Hikaru, as Takeshi’s eyes were mostly drawn by the two big…personalities of the new transfer student.
They were quite nice, he couldn’t blame-
Ahem.
But why were they staring at him so much? Were they expecting him to make a move or something? No way!
He turned to look at his new seat-neighbour, but quickly found his eyes drifting down-
“Противный… < Disgusting… >”
He turned back away, cheek resting on his crossed arms. “Ну, в этом ты права…" <Well, you’re not wrong about that…>”
“For the millionth time, I’m not telling her!” Well, a million might be an exaggeration, but it certainly felt that many.
“And why not? We know what she’s been saying since the school festival, we even got our own verification of it!”
“How would you even start that conversation?!” For once, he was glad Yuki was absent. She would have never let him hear the end of it.
The silence of his friends filled the living room. They obviously hadn’t thought further ahead than ‘Convince Masachika to confess to the cute Russian girl and wingman him.’ (or ‘watch him crash and burn’, in Takeshi’s case). They obviously hadn’t counted on significant pushback.
Honestly, Masachika couldn’t blame them. Anybody in class would jump at the chance to confess to Alya if they thought they had even a sliver of a chance, and many did so even without that confidence. To have what they perceived as a perfect chance lined up for him…it would be an insult not to take it, right?
Of course, they didn’t have the full picture; he couldn’t blame them. And besides…
“What do you think will be her first thought when I tell her: ‘I’ve been knowing what you’re saying since day one. Yes, even the mean stuff…’ .” Masachika put on a sinister smile. “Sounds like the start of an R-18 doujin, and one with the tags people normally avoid…”
“Going straight for the home run, Kuze? Never thought you had the drive.”
“Or the balls, to be honest.”
“Fuck both of you.”
He instantly regretted it, seeing the smug look Takeshi sent his way. “Sadly, Masachika, I am one who wants a girlfriend, and you’re not nearly handsome enough to change that. Maybe try asking Hikaru- AAAGH!”
The arm around his neck cut it off at the very end of the sentence. “Now, Takeshi-san. It’s not right to spread those kinds of baseless rumours. Takeshi silently pleaded for help, but a quick look into Hikaru’s shadowed eyes told him all he needed to know. Besides, ‘not handsome enough’? Even if it was right, he shouldn’t have said it.
“Well, I have a sudden urge, be back in a bit~”
“Kuze, you bastaaaaaaaard!” Masachika heard, a self-satisfied smile creeping it’s way onto his face.
“So, how is it? Hearing princess Alya’s forbidden language?” The words are delivered with no small amount of contempt, but that much, Masachika is used to. The contents, however, are not.
“What?” Only years of throwing up quick lies save him here, reflexively spewing a half-baked denial. “What are you-?”
His classmate (well, yearmate. He certainly doesn’t recognise the face) once again gives him something he’s familiar with; a look that asks: ‘are you stupid?’
Most of the time the answer is ‘yes’, but that’s not important right now. The questioning look he gives is. And the answer he receives even more so.
“Have you been living under a rock? Everyone knows you speak Russian.”
It was the answer he was expecting, but he still coughed on his spit, surprise gripping him.
“E-Everyone…?”
“Except for the Russian girl in question. And you, apparently,” His senior tagged on the last part dismissively.
A million questions flashed through his mind. What? Why? When? How? All mysteries he really wanted solved, but they’d have to wait until after he met with the ‘who’, which he already had strong suspicions about.
“Excuse me for a moment, senpai. I have some friends ,” he stressed the word dangerously, “that I’d love to have a talk with at the moment.”
They’d found a seat in the time he’d been held up, probably talking about some anime or another. (A shy red haired rock guitarist and her outgoing pink friend, apparently. Kita the…Stone? Something like that.)
Failing to notice the chilling presence behind them, Hikaru and Takeshi continued their merry chat, only to be startled when they felt a strong grip on their shoulders.
“You guys…” Masachika’s eyes twitched, and a cross shaped vein was visible on his forehead as he spoke. “Come with me. Now.”
He leaves no room for argument, and Hikaru quickly starts doing as told, Takeshi quickly gathering up his tray with shaking hands.
“Listen, Masachika, if this is still about me stealing that Star from you during Mario Party yesterday, I already-”
“Zip it.”
“Got it, shutting up.”
Following Masachika to a less populated area in the school, Hikaru is the first to ask: “So, what’s this about?”
Looking around, and finding the area suitably sparse for his tastes, the lazy genius answers: “So, which one of you guys spilled it?”
All he gets in return is a set of confused looks: “Spilled what?”
Masachika’s eyes scream ‘Are you an idiot?!’ at him, but he eventually bites, explaining the situation as best he can. Hikaru and Takeshi, however, seem just as confused as he is.
“And you think we did this?” Takeshi can’t stop incredulity from slipping into his tone. “Even putting aside a motive, do you honestly think we’d have enough clout to get this to spread, apparently as fast as it did?”
“You’re right in that regard…maybe if it was Hikaru, but to think anyone would believe you is a bit…” At Takeshi’s cry of indignation, he scoffs. “You were the one that said it!”
“And you were supposed to be the good friend who went: ‘What are you saying, Takeshi? Anyone would believe you in a heartbeat because you’re extremely cool and popular, and every girl in the school is secretly in love with you!’”
“You know, I make it a habit of only lying to my friends a little bit.”
“What, so you think I’d get rejected if I, say, confessed to Suou-san- BLEGH!”
Rubbing his suddenly reddening cheek, Takeshi shoots a death glare at Masachika. “What the hell was that for, man?!”
“I don’t know,” Masachika says, staring at his fist in contemplation, “I just felt a sudden urge to punch you in the face.”
“Why you-!”
“Guys, this is going nowhere.” Hikaru speaks placatingly. It’s starting to worry him how often he has to be the voice of reason in the group. “Weren’t we supposed to be figuring out-”
“Even though you already have Kujou-san charmed, you also want to claim Suou-san as well- GAAH!”
During his sentence, the former Suou Masachika’s foot lashes out in a brutal kick to Takeshi Murayama’s gut, worthy of a spot at the Olympics. Spit flies from his mouth, and an enraged Masachika bellows: “Shut it, don’t you dare say it-!”
‘This is going to be a long day’ is the one thought that Hikaru Kiyomiya can muster.
Alisa Mikhailovna Kujou was generally one to ignore the mutterings of the people around her. After all, they were usually either praise or jealousy directed at her, neither of which she had a desire to pay attention to.
Walking through Seirei Academy’s vaunted halls, she allows herself to tune out the whispers of her classmates as she passes them by. Vice President Sarashina had requested help with her paperwork, and Alya, familiar enough with her somewhat more physically-focused senpai, agreed easily enough to help, even if it meant sacrificing part of her lunch break.
However, her plan is disrupted when her ears catch a name she is very familiar with.
“Do you… Kuze -san really…-ssian…?”
Alya freezes for a half-step, barely managing to prevent herself from tripping over her own feet. What is this about Masachika-kun?
“What others are talking about isn’t any of my business, but if it’s about my p-partner…” She tried to rationalise it.
The two girls, previously swept up in their own conversation, were suddenly treated to the site of one of the school’s princesses peaking demurely around a corner, obviously nervous about her approach.
‘Cute.’ was the first thought on their minds, watching the silver haired girl lost in her own world, concentrating on nothing but her thoughts as Alya pondered if she really did have the right to intrude on the conversation.
Noticing she had been caught as the chatter died down, Alya hastily straightened her already immaculate uniform, and nervously approached the two: “S-So, what are you two talking about?”
Recalling who they were just speaking about before the sudden interest of the ‘Solitary Princess’, the two come to the obvious conclusion. While one is obviously torn, all Miyako Iwasaki can think of is ‘I ship it’, a grin stretching across her face.
“Oh, nothing. This is just some old news at this point, I’m sure someone as close to Kuze-san as yourself must have heard it already.”
‘Something people close to Masachika-kun know? But I n-never…’ a shadowy image filled Alya’s mind, one of Masachika surrounded by a posse of girls, each begging for his attention.
“But what about Alisa-san?” One of them would ask, pressing herself closer against him.
“Oh, her? I don’t even think of her…” he’d smirk, “After all, she doesn’t even know I-”
“Kujou-san?”
“Ah!” Snapped out of her nightmare by the two students she was speaking to and recomposing herself, she cleared her throat, ignoring the dusting of red coating her cheeks.
“W-Well, I heard nothing new about Masachika-kun recently. What is it you were referring to?”
All Iwasaki could do was smirk slightly: “Apparently, someone heard through the grapevine that Kuze-san is able to understand Russian. Is that why you-?”
She was unable to finish her sentence, a red-faced Alya sprinting past her down the hall. Said red-faced Alya was entirely unprepared for the memories that had suddenly been pulled to the forefront of her brain, each embarrassing in their own right. Luckily, it didn’t matter, right?
After all, there was no way Masachika-kun actually understood Russian, right?
After having tracked down the source of the rumours to a certain blonde haired school idol (“I can’t believe you can actually speak Russian, Kuzecchi. That’s hilarious! I never thought you were actually reacting to Kujou’s words!” The laugh she gives is entirely fake, Masachika can tell. He’s given plenty like it before) class continues as normal for the day. And then the week.
After nearly two weeks of having the rumour in circulation, despite Masachika (and Ayano’s) various attempts at damage control, the rumour seemed to have run a full course, dying a natural death. Seirei academy moved quickly, after all, and nothing churned through news faster than the rumour mill.
As the days drew on, he’d allowed hope to blossom that the fire would die down before reaching his seatmate. After all, she was the ‘Solitary princess’. Having seen her…lacking social skills before, Masachika doubted she would be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and hear this baseless, unsubstantiated claim.
Unfortunately, his luck ran out on a late Friday afternoon. Returning from lunch, he saw a red faced Alya fidgeting in her seat, unable to meet his eyes with hers, or even look in his direction.
‘Fuck.’ was his first thought.
‘How do I deflect?’ was his second.
“K-Kuze-kun…” Her soft, nervous voice sounded so incredibly cute, and her pouty expression just made him want to pinch her cheeks. Resisting the urge, he continued listening: “I h-heard that you c-can understand R-Russian…”
‘C’mon, just act natural…’ He thought.
“Hmm? Where’d you hear that from?”
Her blush reached up to her ears, cutely turning a bright crimson. It contrasted well with her snow white hair, he remarked to himself. “N-Nowhere, I j-just passed someone i-in the hall… a-and-”
“Well, you shouldn’t believe everything you hear, Alya.” Stay cool. Act natural. Keep your voice from wavering. “If I was really able to speak Russian, do you think I’d be able to keep quiet after hearing everything you say?” No lies here, just questions.
“R-Right. Well, I’ll inform the student council that we should spend some effort preventing baseless rumours from gaining traction.” Gone was the nervous wreck of a you girl who just thought her crush got exposed. In her place, a smug young princess once again confidant that the language barrier hid her true feelings.
“Дурак. Он совсем без понятия, что я говорю… <Idiot, he really doesn’t have a clue what I’m saying!> ”
Masachika sighed.
Even though it really didn’t.
“Если ты меня понимаешь, тогда тебе придется взять на себя ответственность за это... <If you can understand me though, you’ll have to take responsibility for this…> ”
He could feel the blood coming up for a cough.
Not at all.
Then, the thought occurred to Alya: ‘Wait, how does he know what I was saying in Russian-’