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“I thought Ted didn’t drink tea.” Colin mused as a few of the lads were getting into the locker room. He had glanced into the office and noticed the dainty cup full of off-amber liquid. It had to be some sort of green tea, maybe even a honey-lemon herbal tea, but it still seemed very out of place on the American’s desk.
“It could just be in a tea cup, ya know?” Jamie sauntered over to the cup and gave it a critical eye. “I mean, he’s kind of always drinking, this might just be some bid to try to hide it at work.”
“A terrible bid, since he’s very vocal about his hatred of a nice cuppa. Does it smell like anything?” Colin asked. Jamie picked up the cup and gave it a quick whiff, but it didn’t smell like any kind of alcohol he knew of.
“Dare you to try it, bruv.” Isaac nudged Jamie a bit.
“I do not think that will be very good. Plus training will be starting soon, yeah?” Sam tried to be the voice of reason, but was drowned out by others trying to get Jamie to try the mysterious liquid.
“200 hundred pounds say you don’t.” Was the line that had the Mancunian downing the whole lot down. His face screwed up and he stuck his tongue out in disgust.
“No wonder the Gaffer don’t like tea if this is the shit he’s drinkin’. It tastes like right mud, and not like the good kind.”
“The hell you mean ‘the good kind’, boyo?” Colin looked around to see if anyone knew what the other man had meant.
“Not sure, but it ain’t this.” Jamie placed the cup down and wandered back to his locker to continue getting ready. He wanted to get to the pitch. He couldn’t help the bubble of excitement burst in his chest and then out into the world as a collection of giggles. His heart was kind of pounding in his chest and his body started to feel like it did when he was way in the zone and practically floating across the field to score another goal.
“What’s got you giggling, bruv?” Isaac was suddenly at his side. Jamie practically jumped out of his skin before devovling into another fit of giggles. “Jamie?”
Jamie tried to explain why he was laughing. It was because… another fit of giggles and Jamie had to sit down. Just had to sit down because his body was too heavy and too light to stay standing. He missed the bench and the whole room lurched as players, his team, moved to catch him. Isaac was way strong.
“Big arms.” Jamie giggles didn’t cease. His face started to hurt, but in a way that felt odd but okay. It felt like his mouth was pooling too large and his face was stretching, but he knew he wouldn’t just rip apart so it was okay. Isaac had him, Isaac was their captain now, because Roy got injured and was now their coach and he was training Jamie personally, which was fucking “Mim-mnt.”
“Woah, do you think he’s dying?” Colin’s voice circled about. “I can go get the medics?”
“Get the coaches.” Isaac said.
“Mimmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnt.” Jamie patted one of Isaac’s large muscles. Patting turned into just plain petting, which should have been weird, but his hand felt tingly if he stopped, so he continued. Isaac didn’t seem to mind.
“You still with us, Bruv?” Isaac said, and it took a moment for Jamie to realize he was the one being asked. But in the time that he realized someone had said something to him, he also forgot the words. He just ended up staring Isaac down with slightly vacant eyes.
“Oi, what the Fuck’s wrong with Tartt?” Jamie perked up. He knew that voice! It was his “best fucking friend!”
“I thought I was your best friend?” Isaac asked.
“Rooooooy!” Jamie tried to wiggle out of Isaac’s arms, but found that his arms couldn’t work. “Me arms are dead, but tha’s okay, innit? Don’t need arms for footie, do I? I gots my feet and all of my toes, see?’ Jamie leaned forward to take off his boots and socks to show Roy he had the perfect amount of toes and feet for feet-ball… football.
“We sort of dared Jamie to drink the tea on Lasso’s desk, and now he’s gone mental.” Isaac explained.
“Bumbercatch owes me 200 hundred pounds. I’m gonna all the ice cream with it. Gonna … wanna get ice cream.” Jamie looked down at his feet, he scratched at his toes and realized that he couldn’t have ice cream because he hadn’t gone to training yet. He couldn’t go to training though, because his arms were dead.
“-amie, Jamie.” Jamie took a gasping breath, unsure if he had been breathing at all today. He sniffled and looked up to see Beard, Lasso, and Roy all surrounding him. “That’s it you little prick, come back to us.”
“Now, Jamie, was this the cup you drank from?” Beard held up the little tea cup. Jamie's nose wrinkled.
“Bad mud.” The three men exchanged glances.
“I might know what is going on.” Beard said. “This is one of Jane's cups. I’m going to bet if we watched the camera we’ll see her sneaking in and putting this on Ted’s desk.”
“I thought you were off again.” Roy grunted. Jamie mimicked his grunt and returned to giggling. Grunting and giggling and rubbing at the man’s large muscles.
Jamie jerked a bit, looking around, because he’s pretty sure he was with Isaac, but now he was on Roy’s lap and they were in the coach’s office and not the locker room. His heart started to pound in his ears. He tried to scramble away, but Roy’s arms tightened around him.
“Hey, calmed down, it’s fine. You’re fucking fine, just high off your fucking ass.”
“Yeah, we should fuck.” Jamie breathed. “Ice cream first.” He breathed in and he breathed out and in and out and he had to keep on breathing. The automatic breathing had stopped and he was in manual mode. He wiggled his toes, “pinky and the one next to it and the middle one and then the big one and the one next to the big one that was the tall one and one was supposed to go to a market.”
“We can’t really take him to a hospital, the paps will have this plastered on every news paper they can fucking get. You’re sure he’s not going to just keel over?”
“No, Jane likes to experiment, but she knows what she is doing. It’s nothing but weed, but the THC levels were pretty high, because she had meant it for me as a gift.”
“How often do you come to work high?” Jamie jerked his head and Ms. Welton was here. And so was Keeley, she looked really serious. Business woman serious. It was kind of hot, but Jamie was going to fuck Roy, so he couldn’t think about Keeley. He was going to get one of his toes, “the one going to the market, to get him ice cream first and then he’d fuck Roy. Well more like let Roy fuck him, because his arms were dead so it would be hard to thrust and shit.”
“Tartt, stop fucking talking.” Roy growled. Jamie barred his teeth and let out a growl of his own. “Oi.”
“Am not talking’, am I?” Jamie reached up and squished Roy’s cheeks. The man just glared at him. “I’m being very quiet, yeah?”
“How do we get this fucking muppet back to normal?” Roy placed his hand over Jamie’s mouth.
“We just have to ride this out.”
Jamie felt his eyes growing heavy, enjoying the warmth and weight of Roy’s hand and body.
“Oh, look, babes he’s fallen asleep.” Keeley’s voice was behind at least five clouds. They were thick and turning a bit gray. And then they turned black.