Chapter 1: Peaceful Haven Bridge
Chapter Text
Ganji Gupta was not made for love.
It was a concept that he struggled to wrap his head around most of the time. How romance could be beautiful and easy in movies and books, but incredibly ugly and messy when you got to see it in person. He cared little about relationships, because in his perspective, it was a waste of time. Additionally, he didn’t need any distractions or people to weigh him down while he was so busy with cricket.
Oletus University always kept him occupied. He was decent in his grades, being able to balance both studies and sports in his schedule. Ganji did not care for partying— it wasn’t anything exciting, especially since hanging around random people for one loud night sounded worse than nails on a chalkboard.
He hated to admit how awfully lonely he felt sometimes. The cricket players on his team knew him, but he seldom talked to them outside of practice. Ganji wasn’t fond of friendships or being too accustomed to the company of other people. He was mostly alone for a lot of his life, and he lived in the shadows, only until he was recognized for his talent for cricket.
The batter was well aware of the fact that was the only reason anyone really liked him. For once, it was the only downside of his sport— he would attract fangirls everywhere.
He hated the attention, when it came all in one single wave and practically drowned him until he was suffocating. How could anyone live like this, being in the center of the spotlight?
He knew.
The captain of the rugby team, William Webb Ellis. They were in the same year, but he seemed proficient in almost everything, which pissed Ganji off more than it should’ve. The reason? William was a little better than Ganji was. He was a little better in class, with slightly higher grades. He was a little— no, extremely— more popular than him. Fuck, all because he was like a ray of sunshine and actually reeled in a ton of girls because of his charismatic personality.
He was blessed by the gods, especially in looks. Ganji knew that William was aware of his attractiveness. He had a strong, muscular build that everyone admired, the whitest, proudest smile, and long, healthy locs that complimented his face so well.
Ganji had gone to school with him since middle school, and their little rivalry had gone on for years. He was more bitter about it, while William took it lightly. He’d tease him about it every now and then, marking a few of their rare interactions before they moved on with their days.
One particular day, following one of Ganji’s practices on a hot afternoon, he found someone watching him from the stands. One tall silhouette, and the loud cheers that erupted from the guy’s mouth. The cricket player felt his stomach churn at the sound, heading in his direction whilst taking his helmet off.
"Good work today! You’re a lot better at cricket than you used to be." William shot him a thumbs up, looking down at him.
Ganji scrunched his nose, taking that as a backhanded compliment. He did a small head shake with a confused look on his face, as if to say, “what’s the point?” and “why are you here?” at the same time.
"Thanks. I guess.”
William winked encouragingly, looking down at the cricket helmet in the batter’s hands. He was quietly standing in place and spinning it in his fingers, avoiding eye contact with the forward. He huffed with a small smile.
"Aw, ya not in the mood today, Gupta?"
"Piss off."
"Hey, what did I do?"
"Just spit it out. Why are you here?"
Ganji’s eyes twitched with exasperation, his eyebrow inching slightly as he glared at William. The taller man leaned forward from where he was sitting, seemingly perplexed.
"I finished practice early. I was passin’ by when I saw you guys out on the field."
"Nothing better to do, huh? You’ve always got yourself caught up with rugby. Seems now that your only hobbies outside of that consist of constantly being better than me at everything and stalking me like a creep."
"Finally right about something for once."
William got up from the stands, descending the steps to meet Ganji on the ground. The batter was passive the entire time, his eyes slowly rising up to meet the forward’s when he stopped in front of him.
"Did you need something?"
“You always ask me that.. can’t a guy just talk to his friend and see how he’s doing?"
"Do you just like making me look stupid? What makes you think we’re friends? I don’t like you." Ganji grimaced.
"Maybe you are stupid. For being so stubborn and holding onto the past, even though I never really did anything to you. You just hate me because of your one-sided competition." William ruffled a hand over the shorter’s hair, laughing at his futile attempts to swat his arm away.
"One-sided? Don’t act so innocent. God, that’s what I fucking hate about you. You act like you’re too good to do anything wrong."
"Like what?"
"Like—" Ganji grabbed William’s wrist, holding it in front of him so he would stop messing up his curls. He ran a hand through his hair, glaring with his lip slightly curled. "You.."
William tilted his head down, raising an eyebrow. Ganji’s face went red with embarrassment as he couldn’t find anything to say. He pushed the forward’s wrist out of his reach, turning his back to him to go back to the field.
"You’re all bark, no bite, Ganji."
"Not really. I just have better things to do."
"More important than me?" William jested.
"Yeah, definitely." Ganji slid his helmet back on. "Practice isn’t over yet. Are you planning on sticking around the whole time?"
"Mostly," William scratched the back of his head. "Are you busy tonight?"
"Why?"
"We should hang out."
"You still don’t get the hint, do you?" Ganji rolled his eyes, "I told you, we aren’t friends, so stop acting like—"
"Maybe if you gave me a chance to talk to you one on one, we could be friends."
"Why would I want that?"
"You’re pretty closed-minded. Also, you know I ask this every time, but have I really done anything wrong to you? Be honest."
Ganji loosely crossed his arms, clicking his tongue with irritation when William repeatedly tapped on his helmet. He didn’t answer the question, because he knew William was right. He didn’t have a reason to hate him— he just.. did. Maybe out of jealousy, maybe out of spite.
"I simply don’t like you."
"Let me change that. Where’s your dorm?"
"Excuse me?"
"Where’s your dorm?" William repeated.
"Why?"
"I’m taking you out. We’re gonna have some fun, friendly bonding time together."
“In your fucking dreams. I gotta go." Ganji quickly swiveled around, marching away.
"Oh, no, hang on now—"
The forward stopped him, grabbing his shoulder and yanking him backwards. He heard an angry groan from the batter, in which he ignored. If Ganji was gonna try to bite his hand off, he would have to try harder than that.
"God, leave me alone, will you? I’m not going to hang out with you."
"Tell me where your dorm is, and I’ll stop asking you."
"I’m not telling you."
"Dinner’s on me."
"I’ll pass." He shrugged the man’s hand off of his shoulder, taking a few steps forward to get back on the field.
"What if we went to the Indian cuisine place near that one cafe?"
Ganji suddenly came to a halt. William smirked, knowing he already roped him in by the way he clenched his fists and lowered his head in thought. A moment of silence passed as the curly haired man decided what to do. He shifted a foot and turned to face William.
"412."
"Thanks," William waved him off, before remembering something else to add. He followed the cricket player again, calling his name. Ganji was close to popping a few blood vessels.
"What’s your number?"
"I am not giving you my number. You’re asking for too much. Leave me alone so I can practice."
"C’mon, please." William held his phone out, shockingly small in his hold. Ganji swallowed hard, snatching it from his fingers. He furiously punched in his number, thrusting it back into his hands.
"There. Happy?"
"Delighted. I’ll swing by around 8."
"Fine. Now fuck off."
"I’ll be watching from here."
Ganji didn’t know what to wear to go hang out with someone. He wasn’t sure where they were exactly going besides the restaurant. He stared in his mirror for awhile, surrounded by deafening silence as his roommate was too busy running around someplace else.
It was a hangout, not a date, so he could dress casually. He settled on a basic grey sweatshirt with a long, baggy white tee underneath and wide-legged jeans. Ganji kept the blue bandana on because it just felt right. As he was in the middle of spraying his cologne on, a loud ring from his doorbell startled him.
When he checked the peephole, there was a big, dark eye staring right back at him. He gasped from shock, flinching away from the door. The snickering from behind it made it obvious who the visitor was. Ganji threw the door open, scornfully looking William up and down.
He was wearing something similar— a black sweatshirt with a logo on the back and jeans.
"Hey, what the hell? We’re matching." William laughed.
Ganji wished he had worn something else.
"It wasn’t intentional. You’re here early.. it’s only 7:30." Ganji frowned. "You went through the trouble of getting my phone number just to not text me a heads-up?"
"I thought you’d enjoy a surprise visit more." William nodded his head. He took a moment to stare at Ganji, leaned his face down to face him. The batter inched away, fearful.
"What are you doing?"
"You smell good." William forced a hand on Ganji’s sleeve and tugged him forward, smelling the cologne he sprayed on his neck. "Are you wearing Chanel?"
Ganji nodded stiffly. He could smell a faint trace of an aromatic, citrusy cologne on William too. He smelled.. amazing. As expected of a guy who took care of himself.
The forward stayed eye level with him, and he had to physically shoo him away. Ganji clenched his jaw, exhausted with him.
"Do you need something? What are you staring for?"
"Chanel is fancy. I didn’t take you as the type of guy to be into cologne."
"Okay, thanks, Mr. Cologne Connoisseur.. I’m not into that shit. My mom recommended it to me."
"Expert taste," William patted Ganji’s shoulder, straightening his posture. He pulled his keys from his pocket, twirling them in his fingers. "So, where do you wanna go?"
"Why are you asking me? You were the one that planned this, you fucking moron."
"I didn’t really have anything in mind. I didn’t think you’d actually agree, anyways." William chuckled to himself as Ganji backed out of his dorm and locked the door, towering behind him while playing with his keys. "I guess I can make anybody like me."
"Shut up. God, you’re annoying."
William sneered. He stopped spinning his keys in his fingers, clutching them in his palm.
"Alright. Act that way if you wanna be difficult. I’ll get food by myself and call someone else to tag along."
He walked off, throwing his keys up and down into his hand. Ganji was stuck standing in front of his door, appalled by the audacity of that man. Was he claiming he wasn’t good enough to spend time with? Just how egotistical could he be?
"William, hang on!"
Ganji grabbed his arm and forced the taller man to look at him. His mouth hung open from surprise from William gently turning his head down to peer towards him. He was a lot more handsome in person— they were really worlds apart. His half-lidded eyes gazing down at him caught him off guard.
"What do you want, Ganji?"
"I’ll go with you, okay?"
William grinned. Ganji wanted to slap it clean off of his face.
"Told ya." The forward threw his arm around the batter’s shoulder, having to bend down a little to compensate for their height difference. "You can’t even stand the thought of me going out with someone else?"
"Why do you talk about me like I’m an insecure girlfriend?"
"You sure act like one."
Ganji made a face at the comment, but it was funny to him. He fought back a smile.
"It’s not my fault. I don’t want you hanging out with other girls, William." He wiggled out of his side hug, following him down the hallway as they were headed to the stairs.
"I told you, they’re just friends, baby. Don’t you trust me?" William playfully teased back. He was stunned to see Ganji joking with him for once, hinted by the faint smile on his lips.
"I do trust you. I just want to be sure you’re not cheating on me. You’re always going out and never telling me where you are."
"I would never do that to you."
When they reached the stairs, they both stood idly at the top for a moment. After a long moment of silence, William had the courage to look at Ganji after what they just said. Unexpectedly, the batter made eye contact at the same time. The rugby player howled, doubling over from how hard he laughed. He had to grip onto the railing to make sure he wouldn’t fall down.
Ganji smiled. He felt unusually light. Standing next to someone and talking to them didn’t feel like a chore for once. They haven’t even left the dormitories yet, but he thought that he was already getting a taste of the experience.
As they climbed down the stairs, William talked a lot, pestering Ganji about his classes and how cricket was going. He gave very short answers, but he wasn’t used to this, so what more could he say? He still felt a little tense being around William, but after that short interaction with each other, he feels a little looser.
When they got outside, a cold gust of wind tickled their faces, and they were grateful to have dressed appropriately for the weather. The sky was a muted purple, so it wasn’t entirely dark yet. The golden glow of the sun was just barely visible.
"How’s your mom doing?" William randomly asked when they were heading to his car. Ganji scratched the side of his head, wondering why he brought it up.
"She’s fine. What gives?"
"Back in middle school, you complained a lot about her being overbearing."
Ganji pursed his lips. It was weird of William to remember a detail like that, but it was true. His mother was particularly overprotective of him when he was entering his adolescence, hence why he couldn’t go out so much or talk to other people easily. She didn’t want him to hang around the wrong people, but he gave up on finding someone who fit her standards, so he never made friends. It didn’t mean he hated her for it, though— he loved her.
"I guess. She is a bit better now, maybe. She’s still worried about me."
"I figured from the stack of letters on your desk."
"Uh— hey, hold on, how did you know—"
"There’s my car. Come on." William ushered him along, nudging his back. Ganji growled in protest, pushing the guy off of him as they bickered.
“William, how did you know!?"
"I didn’t. I guessed!"
"You’re always so fucking nosy!"
"Get in my car and quiet down! You’re making this look like a kidnapping, man."
"Maybe it is. I should try calling someone for help." Ganji grinned. He took a deep breath, unable to get a single gasp out when William clamped his hand over his mouth. Swinging open the passenger door, the forward shoved him in so hard, Ganji toppled inside like a domino. William was cautious not to slam the door on his legs, before hurrying over to his side of the car.
"Goddammit, Ellis, remember not everyone plays an aggressive sport." Ganji groaned, holding his head in a dazed state. William snickered, clicking his seatbelt on and starting up the car.
"Join the rugby team then."
"First off, too late. Second, I dedicated my entire life to cricket, and I don’t plan on dropping it anytime soon." Ganji sat upright, sticking his tongue out as he put his seatbelt on as well.
"I always asked you to in middle school too. You said the exact same thing." William observed his surroundings, backing his car out. "I guess some things never change."
"Clearly. Because you keep trying to find reasons to talk to me."
"Can’t believe it took you this many years to finally let me hang out with you."
"Why would you want to? Why me? You’ve got the whole school wrapped around your finger, William."
"Eh, I know, but.. I’ve known ya." William did a little side nod with his head, thinking about restating his sentence. "I’ve known ya longer. Not literally, we just went to the same school for awhile."
"Do you know who you are, William Ellis?"
"In the flesh." William winked, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel.
"Obviously. Everybody knows you. Who gives a damn about me?" Ganji leaned his elbow against the armrest, cupping the side of his face in his palm.
"I mean, I do. That’s why we’re here." William did a half shrug. "I did care about you. I think today’s just the first time you really let me, though."
Ganji glanced over at him. It was such a heartwarming sentence coming from him so nonchalantly. He didn’t know how to respond to it. Ganji opened his mouth, cutting himself off and biting his tongue. Eventually, he covered his mouth and tried to wipe the blush off of his face (even if it was useless).
Ganji took the opportunity to judge William’s car. It smelled exactly like his cologne, and he couldn’t complain at all. The lining of the leather seats were black and wine red. From his mirror, there was a tiny rugby ball dangling from it. The batter poked at it curiously, his eyes following it as it swayed like a pendulum.
"Pfft."
Ganji pulled his eyes away from the car accessory, meeting William’s. He had a warm look in his gentle expression, smiling at him before looking at the road.
"You remind me of a cat. My cat, maybe."
"You have a cat?"
"Yeah." William paused, sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth. "We’re not supposed to have pets on campus, I know, but.. she’s a cutie pie."
"You don’t strike me as a cat person." Ganji pretended to be uninterested, peeking at William from the corner of his eye. ".. can I see a photo of her?"
"You most certainly do look like a cat person to me." William slipped his phone into his hand, alternating between keeping his eyes on the road and opening his photo album. "Hang on."
Ganji couldn’t deny that fact. Cats were cute. He met a few sweet strays before, but his mom was deathly afraid of him getting diseases from them. It had been awhile since he got to see one in person.
They stopped at a red light, and William handed Ganji his phone.
"You can swipe through and see. She’s an American Shorthair. I found her a few weeks ago. All alone on the side of the road, no momma or other kitties to be seen. I assume she was abandoned by a person."
Ganji scrolled through the photos, almost cooing at the sight of the tiny kitten. He would have thought it was cute if it weren’t for the horrific fisheye angles he captured of the little creature.
"What’s her name?"
".. Cricket."
Ganji smiled at the stupid name. William moved when the light was green, but he was leaning forward towards the steering wheel while blushing.
"Any reason why?"
"No. I just thought it sounded funny."
"I’d hate to be her." Ganji zoomed in on Cricket’s big, beady eyes. He looked over all the kitty pictures, William hearing frequent sounds from him as he did so— how he would say "aww," or go "oh, she’s adorable," it made his heart swell with pride. Fuck yeah, Cricket was his pride and joy.
Ganji was enjoying looking at the photos in silence. They were coexisting peacefully for once without bothering the other person. William would check up on Ganji every now and then, to make sure he was doing alright, and also because he was holding his phone for awhile.
Upon swiping past a picture of Cricket standing awkwardly on the dorm floors, Ganji’s eyebrows knitted together when he accidentally stumbled across a photo of William. He was supposedly in a gym bathroom, taking a mirror selfie while showing off his physique.
The batter’s jaw dropped, not intentionally. He was built like a damn Greek god. His arms were so defined, his body was jacked as hell— he stared at it longer than he would have liked to.
The forward caught sight of this and snatched the phone out of his hands the second he blinked. Ganji grinned.
"Who’s that for, Ellis?"
"Nobody."
"Then what?"
"Don’t worry about it." William’s face flushed.
Ganji laughed, leaning on the storage box of the center console to cover his mouth. The humiliation on the other guy’s face was priceless, and it was a look he didn’t want to miss again. He weakly punched William in the arm, wheezing hard.
"Are you showing off to impress a girl?"
"Maybe. What, jealous?"
"You’re getting way into this whole ‘insecure girlfriend’ stuff."
"You started it."
"It was funny at the moment." Ganji sighed. "I’m a little jealous. What’s your routine?"
"I could take you to the gym with me sometime."
Ganji scrunched up his face, raising an eyebrow with uncertainty. He didn’t know if he was going to hang out with William after this time— after all, coming with him wasn’t something he planned on doing. Only because he pitied him for begging like a dog.
"We’ll see," Ganji stared at the time on his phone screen. It was nearing 7:50. He checked outside, and they were still rolling through the town. "Do you know where we’re going?"
The surrounding town around Oletus was not jam-packed with people. It was a relatively calm town that held lots of pride for the prestigious school. There were a perfect mix of things to do around here— but William never specifically mentioned what.
"Would you wanna eat first or what?"
"Yeah."
"Alright, then."
Eventually, they made it to the restaurant and settled down before placing their orders. After the server left, Ganji immediately went on his phone, while William sat across from him and leaned forward with crossed arms.
"Come on, Gupta, can’t even handle talking to me for a few minutes?" William pushed a finger down on the top of Ganji’s phone. The batter resisted, shooting him a nasty look.
"I think I’ve reached my limit, Ellis."
"We haven’t even been out for that long yet."
"So?"
"You don’t wanna, like, catch up on anything?" He tapped his knuckle against the table. "I never properly talked to you." William turned Ganji’s phone off. The curly haired man responded with an angry "Hey!" before begrudgingly putting his phone face down.
"I don’t know what to talk about."
"How’s your family?"
"They’re good." Ganji frowned. "I miss them a little. Wish I could stop by sometime and take all my siblings out to do something. But cricket’s got me busy all the damn time, I can hardly do anything."
"Yeah, I get that. Same with me for rugby."
"Yet you have the time to raise a kitten?"
"In my defense, she’s worth my time. She deserves my full attention."
"Since when was a brute like you so soft-hearted?"
"Since.. forever?"
"Not to me."
"You take everything I say personally! I swear, breathing around you pisses you off!" William threw his hands up in surrender. "I feel like I’m treading on thin ice just talking to you right now."
"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You’re proving my point!"
"If you weren’t sitting across from me and we weren’t in a public restaurant, I’d choke the hell out of you."
"Good luck with that. You’re out of luck in terms of height." William made a gesture with his hand, holding it above his head to emphasize Ganji’s short build compared to him.
"It’s not impossible. I’ll do it in the parking lot."
"Who will drive you home when I’m unconscious?"
"I’ll steal your keys."
"Hey! And leave me on the ground?"
"I’ll jam you into the backseat, like how you threw me inside the passenger seat."
William widened his eyes in a manner that was just so outrageously stupid to Ganji that he couldn’t contain his laughter. He smiled and made a sound between a snort and a "pfft," covering his mouth as he wheezed in silent laughter. William did the same, clutching his chest in pain.
Though they had been hanging out for maybe half an hour, William was relieved to see that it wasn’t all bad. Ganji may have been cold to him initially, but it was clear that he was starting to lower his defenses and get comfortable with him. He took it as his best accomplishment yet.
Their food arrived, and they took their time to eat, Ganji having to swat William off like a starving animal when he made attempts to steal his food or drink. Needless to say, the food was great, and the experience was nice. William made him feel like he had fun for the first time in awhile.
When it was time to pay, Ganji was in the middle of grabbing his card when William stopped his wrist. He blinked like a frog before slowly making eye contact with the forward, waiting for him to give an explanation.
"Don’t worry about. It’s on me. I’ll pay."
"We can split it, dummy. I’m not letting you pay for all of it." Ganji tugged his wrist from William’s hand,
"No, I promise it’s fine! I invited you, so let me get the bill."
"No, I said we can split."
Ganji was intrigued by how insistent he was. He expected William to ask to split it anyway, because who wouldn’t? It’s what he would do if he took someone out. But William had to be better than everyone else.
The server returned with the bill, and before William even let Ganji lift his hand up, he offered his card to the server and encouragingly told them he’d pay. When the server noticed the menacing scowl on the batter’s face, they were daunted and hastily shuffled away.
"Why won’t you let me split it!?"
"I told you, dinner would be on me." William smiled dorkishly.
"Like hell it was.." Ganji took his wallet out of his pocket, searching around. "I’ll pay you back."
"Ganji, stop, it’s fine."
"Let me—"
"I promise, it’s okay." William nodded to reassure him he was being honest with what he was talking about. Ganji squinted at him, giving up and tucking his stuff away.
The server returned with William’s card and a few candies. They left a tip and took their leave, both sharing the treats as they left the door. Walking through the parking lot, Ganji was relatively calm being next to William.
"Are you still gonna choke me in the parking lot and drive off?"
"I’m thinking about it."
"That’s real nice."
Ganji rolled his eyes. He was embarrassed to admit that he knew damn well that William could bodyslam him into the ground and leave him unconscious instead. He pinched the bridge of his nose, grumbling to himself.
The sky had gotten darker, and he checked the time on his phone. It was 9. They didn’t have a super strict curfew, although it was recommended that they be back at the dorms by 11 PM.
"Are we going back?" Ganji poked curiously. He didn’t think William knew what he was doing, so they both stopped in the middle of the parking lot facing each other.
"It’s a little early."
"Well, what else do you have in mind?"
"Ice cream?"
Ganji pondered to himself, glancing off to the side. He wasn’t positive that he would be able to finish the whole thing, but he did want something sweet to cool off his tongue. The food in the restaurant nearly had the two of them crying.
"Sure. But I’m paying for myself."
"Not if I beat you to it." William ruffled his hair, running to his car. Ganji’s eye twitched, and he chased after him. But how can someone keep up with a rugby player, despite their own athleticism? It physically pained Ganji to see the distance between them increase as he fell behind.
"You’re just doing this to spite me, aren’t you!?" He yelled at him, panting. His legs were aching from running so fast, and he eventually slowed down.
"What if I was?" William yelled back. "Don’t slow down now, Gupta! You gotta catch up to me."
That’s what I’ve been doing my whole life, Ganji thought. I was trying to catch up with you.
He brushed the thought off, spotting William’s car ahead of him. The forward was standing there, catching his breath and smiling at Ganji.
That kind, motivating smile. It made his heart hurt more as he ran faster. He didn’t know why. William was standing there, waiting for him, and his body got a sudden burst of energy to continue moving.
Ganji coughed after stopping in front of William, bending his neck down to steady his breathing. He let out a small squeak when someone bumped his head two or three times, dumbfounded.
"Nice job. Don’t throw up, though." William patted his head, opening the passenger door for him. "Hurry up."
"I’m not gonna throw up, asshole." Ganji tilted his head up at him, still gasping for air. His face flushed a very faint red, and his brows were furrowed, as usual. William chuckled, ignoring the batter’s pathetic shove at his arm when he entered the car.
Soon enough, they were on the road again. The forward set up the GPS on his phone, humming as he opened a music app as well. William offered Ganji the aux, but he looked weirdly confused when the phone was handed to him.
"Go ahead. Play whatever song you like."
"No, I’m good." Ganji set the phone in the cupholder, fidgeting with his fingers.
"You sure? What’s up?" William turned his head to face him for a second, keeping a close eye on the light in front of him. "You know I don’t care what music you play, right?"
Ganji blushed, staring at his hands with no reply. William huffed, taking his phone to turn on his own playlist. The first song to come on was "Pink + White" by Frank Ocean. The batter wasn’t sure what to expect, but it was a good song. He eased into his seat, still playing with his hands, massaging or cracking his knuckles and brushing over a few scars.
William watched him intently, examining the size of his hands without looking too suspicious. They were almost the same as his, firm with long fingers. He always had his gloves on because of cricket, but seeing the realness of his slightly rough skin and his thumb trailing over his scars was interesting.
He snapped out of his thoughts when the car behind him honked angrily at the green light. William slapped a hand over his mouth, awkwardly driving forward. Ganji turned his head back to look at the pissed driver.
"What’s his fucking deal?"
"I don’t know." William mumbled. He cussed to himself, mortified.
They drove for a few more minutes, some Kendrick songs shuffled on his phone. Ganji was noticing a pattern, but he didn’t say anything to observe the way William smiled and hummed or lip-synced to the words, tapping his fingers on the wheel to match the beat. He wanted to know if there was more to William’s taste in music.
They finally pulled into the parking lot of the ice cream place. Upon entering, Ganji shivered at the immediate temperature change, even though he was wearing long clothes. William snickered at him, patting his back before going up to check out the flavors.
"What do you like?" He turned to the shorter guy. Ganji followed, leaning next to him to stare down at the different flavors. Everything looked sickeningly sweet to him, so he settled on something basic.
"I’ll just get a small vanilla cup."
"Alright."
A worker came up to William, smiling brightly. She looked up at him, asking what he’d like to order. Ganji stood a few inches behind William, looking at his phone to distract himself. The interaction was short and meaningless to him, but all he wanted to do was pay and get it done.
They scooped their ice cream into cups, the forward getting his slathered in a mountain of toppings. When they were paying, William pulled his card out.
"Are you guys paying together or separate?"
Ganji tried to slip past him, holding his card.
"We’re paying separ—"
"Together." William put his hand over Ganji’s mouth and pushed him away, ignoring the muffled complaining from him. The worker took his card, which made the batter even more agitated. He ripped William’s wrist off of his face.
"I can pay for myself!"
"Yeah, you can. But I won’t let you."
"I’m gonna kill you."
"Good luck trying."
Ganji raised his hand to slap him in the face, but he tripped forward when he missed. He gritted his teeth when William caught him by his arms, standing off to the side with a smug grin.
"You’re too predictable."
"I—"
"Here’s your card." The worker interrupted him, handing it back to William. He released the furious cricketer from his hands to accept it.
"Thanks." William took Ganji’s vanilla cup, handing it to him. He stubbornly refused to look up at him, and the forward prodded him in the shoulder. "Your ice cream. You don’t want it?"
Ganji turned his head away. William snorted. So he could hear him, but he was being a bitch again.
"That’s more for me." He shrugged, walking out the door. Ganji gave him a sideways glance, before realizing that he was being left behind yet again. He chased after him, wanting his ice cream back.
"You don’t need that much ice cream! Look at yours! Stop being greedy!" Ganji caught up with him. He made an ineffective attempt at snatching the cup of vanilla ice cream from him, because William raised his arm over his head, out of his reach.
"You didn’t want it."
"Of course I want it! So give it to me!"
"Say the magic word."
Ganji clenched his fists, annoyed.
"I’m not a kid." He put a hand on William’s shoulder, using him as support to jump up. His fingers barely touched the ice cream, and he was starting to pout.
"Just say it, and I’ll give it to you."
Ganji stopped jumping. He took a step away from William, scanning his surroundings. Nobody was nearby— at least he hoped so. It was a stupid mistake to underestimate how bad William’s childish behavior was.
"Please give it to me."
"What’s my name?"
The muscles in Ganji’s face twitched. He shook his head, refusing to go any further than that. William nodded in turn, telling him he had to do it before his ice cream melted.
"Fine! William, please, just give it to me, goddammit!"
William lowered his arm. Hearing him struggle to say that entire sentence without breaking eye contact was ridiculously cute. Ganji made another impatient move and hopped up to snatch it, missing again. The forward laughed and pushed his face away.
"Hang on, hang on!" William calmed him down. He looked at the cup of vanilla ice cream, and in one swift motion, he took the spoon and took a bite of the dessert.
"Mmph. That’s really good," He muttered. Sticking it back in the cup, he gave it to Ganji, only to be met by the absolutely crushed look in his eyes. Ganji took it in his hands, but he felt like he just lost his appetite. He glared at William, wishing he could stab his eyes out with the exact same spoon. Before he had the chance, William started walking again.
"Did you have to use mine? Gross! You put it back in too, you ass!" Ganji reached over William’s hand to grab the taller man’s spoon, but he was too slow. William grasped it before him, taking a huge scoop of his cheesecake flavored ice cream and swallowing it instantly.
"Mine tastes better," William licked his lips, swiping at the corners with his thumb. "Well, what are you gonna do now?"
Ganji sullenly stared at his ice cream, then to the shop. He stopped following William to grab another spoon.
"Hey. Ganji, where are you going? There’s somewhere I wanna take you."
"I’m grabbing another spoon because you contaminated mine."
"I’m not sick or anything! You can eat from that one just fine!" He shouted, but the batter kept walking. William fished his keys from his pocket, unlocking his car. "Guess I’ll meet you there then. Have fun walking."
Ganji froze in his tracks. He heard William’s door open and close, along with the roaring of the engine starting up. He was mad at him for teasing him so much, but he knew that going to the car would just be playing right into his hands. Yet, he still went back and slid into the passenger’s seat resentfully.
"Guess who came runnin’ back.." William leaned over the center console, laughing mockingly in Ganji’s face. "Didn’t want your spoon anymore? That’s too bad. Eat your ice cream while you c— mhff-!"
Ganji shoved a spoonful of vanilla ice cream into William’s mouth to shut him up. He pulled the spoon out, plunging it into his ice cream.
"Shut up." He took a bite of his dessert, looking away. "I don’t need a spoon anymore."
William had just digested it by the time he realized what Ganji did. Had he even noticed? Here, he was just whining about being too scared to share spit with him over a spoon, but he did it immediately after it was in William’s mouth. This guy had balls.
"Yeah, okay.."
"Where are we going?" Ganji leaned back into his chair, his spoon in his mouth as he gnawed on it.
"We’re going to Peaceful Haven."
"Like that huge ass bridge? The one that glows red?"
"That’s the one."
"What do you wanna do there?"
"I don’t do. We could just chill there and then go home. Walk around a little. Play in the park." William shoveled a heap of cheesecake ice cream, chocolate, caramel, and graham cracker crumbs into his mouth. "I have a ball in the back of my car."
"I’m not playing rugby with you. If you tackle me, I hope I projectile vomit all over you."
"Eugh, Ganji, that’s fucking gross."
"That’s the point."
"I won’t tackle you," he hesitated, "maybe."
"Damn dog."
William wolfed down the last of his ice cream, leaving it perfectly clean. He set the empty cup in the cupholder, cracking his neck and stretching his arms and setting up his GPS before driving out of the parking lot.
Ganji was too occupied with his ice cream, taking slow bites and repeatedly gnawing or licking at the spoon, lost in thought.
Why the hell did he do the thing with the spoon anyway? What was he trying to do? Trying to get a reaction out of William? It didn’t even work.. it just backfired on him. If William was so sure that sharing a spoon was perfectly fine, why did it feel so odd? He didn’t look bothered by it, so Ganji was definitely overthinking it.
Not only that, the entire time they’ve been out so far, he lost count of how many times William touched him. He knew rugby players were physical and all, but it felt so ticklish or unfamiliar when he felt his hands on him.
Ganji finished his ice cream, stacking it on top of William’s discarded cup. He got back on his phone, checking his notifications.
What was there to check for, who was he kidding? He didn’t talk to anyone. The only recent contact he had in his phone was William.
William was quiet. He was focused on driving, now that it was pretty dark. He didn’t bother Ganji about anything. To the batter’s dismay, he hated the awful silence and wished William would start rambling again.
Ganji opened his camera app and faced his phone over his shoulder, snapping a picture of the forward and sending it to his number. Not long after, William heard a text message from his phone, picking it up, eyes flickering from the road to his screen.
He was skeptical about receiving a message from Ganji. When he opened the photo, William laughed to himself. He typed with one hand.
Ganji’s phone buzzed, and he looked down at what he replied with.
[ I look good, don’t you think? ]
He stared at the picture he took of William, briefly looking over it. His side profile was nice.. his eyes were warm, and his face overall did look good. For a split second, his memory recalled that photo he saw of William while scrolling through his cat pictures, and his face went red. He pressed his phone to his face, blushing horribly.
"Ganji?" William touched his shoulder, pulling him towards him so he could see if he was fine. Ganji shook his head and closed his eyes, hiding behind his phone as he tried to lean the opposite direction.
While William was driving, he was prying a lot, bugging Ganji to get some words out of him. It was a mix of him asking the batter, "come on, tell me what’s wrong," and the guy in question mumbling "no" under his breath.
"It’s nothing, William," Ganji whispered over and over, shaking his head when William tried to lower his phone so he could see his face.
"Clearly isn’t. Tell me what’s up."
"I swear, it’s nothing, alright?" Ganji pouted again. pulling the collar of his sweatshirt over his nose, sinking into his seat. "Are we almost there?"
"It’s gonna be a few minutes. Maybe 20? 25? We’ll see." He whistled to himself. "You can’t admit that I’m handsome?"
"Excuse me?" The batter pulled his sweatshirt off of his face, peering up from where he sat.
"Was that what made you freak out?" William put a hand up, bowing his head. "I get it. Other people react the same way. But that’s sweet of you, Ganji."
"I never said anything. What if I said you look like shit?" Ganji spat back at him. "It won’t kill you to be a little more humble."
"Eh." William shrugged. He offered Ganji his phone, silently offering him the aux again. After a reluctant pause, he took it from his hand, their fingers brushing for less than a second.
Searching for his account, he clicked on his playlist, the first song to come into play being "Heartbeat" by Childish Gambino. William approved of his choice by the happy taps on his steering wheel and the quiet murmurs of his voice singing along to it.
The rest of the ride was time for Ganji to settle down and relax after eating a lot and talking to William a fair amount. He was getting a little tired, and the darkness of the car tempted him to close his eyes. He gave in not long after.
William found it peculiar that Ganji suddenly stopped talking. Taking a peek at the guy in the passenger seat, he blinked at the cricket player, who was absolutely knocked out. William’s phone was still in his hand, resting on his lap. Ganji’s head bumped a few times against the window.
The forward sighed, his hand gentle as he took Ganji’s to pull his fingers off his phone. His hand wasn’t as calloused as he imagined; as a matter of fact, they were pretty soft, but still textured.
He changed the music to something a little quieter and more soothing, a classical symphony filling the silence. Ganji’s breathing was light, but William could still hear it. He kept an eye on him the entire time, until they made it to the bridge. William parked his car, tapping Ganji awake.
"Ganji." He patted his shoulder. The other student did not bother waking up. With a laugh, William poked at his face, surprised when even that didn’t work. He pinched Ganji’s cheek (not too harshly), and he finally opened his eyes.
With a sleepy face, Ganji ran a hand over his eyes, looking around to identify where they are. They were in the city now, and the entrance of the giant red bridge was nearby. Ganji groaned from the blinding flash of the city lights, curling up in William’s car. The forward hopped out of the car, wandering over to the batter’s door and opening it.
"Ganji. Let’s go." William reached his hand to grab his arm and drag him out, before being hit on the wrist. Ganji’s voice was husky and flat, clearly mad about being woken up.
"Don’t wanna."
"What do you mean ‘don’t wanna?’ Do you want me to carry you there so badly?" William put a hand on Ganji’s seat, leaning forward.
"I’m not in the mood for your jokes, William."
"You don’t think I’m serious, huh?"
"Shut up and let me sleep.."
William unbuckled Ganji’s seatbelt, catching the shorter guy’s attention. He leaned close to his face, raising a brow. Ganji was still, only inches away from touching his nose— he didn’t know what William was planning, but he was scared he could feel the heat from his face.
"Last chance?" William mused.
"Fuck you." Ganji smiled.
The forward backed off, and the batter scoffed. His soul nearly left his body when William suddenly dove towards him, wrapping his arms around his body and his legs. He lifted Ganji out of the car like he weighed nothing, slinging him over his shoulder and shutting the car door.
"Hey!" Ganji punched his back several times, kicking his feet. "Put me down! Oh my fucking god, William-! What if someone sees me? Stop!"
"Did you think I was kidding?"
"Of course I did!" He hissed. William held onto his legs tightly, and he abruptly went quiet. Ganji covered his face, embarrassed. William started walking, laughing boisterously at the shameful mumbles coming from him.
"I don’t need you to carry me.."
"Then what are you bitching about? Being too sleepy to go with me? If you don’t wanna walk, I don’t mind carrying you myself."
"That’s very gentlemanly of you. But you’re getting too comfortable."
"I know. Wanna see how comfortable I can get?"
Ganji narrowed his eyes. If this was enough to make his heart race, whatever William was implying would put him into cardiac arrest. He blushed and shook his head, letting himself be held. On the way to the bridge, there weren’t a lot of people to be seen. Maybe they were lucky.
He hadn’t been carried around like this before.. considering how tall and heavy he was, who would have thought? Ganji was slightly bigger than other people, but next to William, he felt wickedly small. Now he was getting hauled around like a sack of potatoes. He didn’t even feel tired anymore because of how shocking the situation was.
Reaching the entry point of the bridge, William put him down. Ganji nearly lost balance because his legs felt like lead after hitting the ground— he staggered into the forward, right into his hands. He was burning up so badly, despite the chilly weather. Every single time he felt William against him, it was like sparking a flame inside of his chest. His heart was on fire, and he could combust if William kept up this behavior with him. He had to step away from him to control his thoughts.
"Let’s walk. It’s nice out here." William motioned for him to come with him.
"Hmph."
It was dark at night, and the sky was partially black, save for a few twinkling stars up in the sky. The red lights made the bridge look hazy, and Ganji couldn’t help but admire the view of the river and the city below them.
He was too absorbed in the scenery that he didn’t realize that William wasn’t walking next to him anymore. The forward trailed behind, holding his phone up to take a photo of Ganji in the middle of the bridge. He managed to get 5 pictures before the batter heard the suspicious camera shutter sound and jumped at him upon catching him in the act.
"What the hell are you doing!?" Ganji wrestled with the phone in William’s hands. "Delete it!"
"You did it to me first!" William grinned. "Let me show you the photos, at least. They look cool."
"Fine! But if I don’t like them, you have to delete them."
William opened his recent photos and swiped through the photos of him. As Ganji leaned closer to his arm, he bit his lip while his eyes glossed over the pictures of himself. He never considered himself attractive overall, but a few of them made him look so much better than he thought. Although, he gave William a good scolding when he started giggling over the last photo where Ganji’s hand was covering the screen.
"Delete the last three!" He shouted as he tried to steal William’s phone. "Or I’ll do it myself!"
"Fine! Fine! I will!" William deleted the photos as promised, and they continued walking.
While the batter gave him an earful for taking pictures without him knowing, William couldn’t help but think about how good-looking he was. He looked handsome in the dark, underneath the neon red lights, looking clueless as to what was happening around him. The brooding look in his eyes made the forward wonder how he was still..
"Hey, Ganji?"
"What?"
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
Ganji’s face twisted up at the sudden question. He let out a plaintive laugh, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I don’t. Why?"
"You’re hot as hell, dude."
"What?"
"Not in a weird way," William put his hands up defensively, "but you’re really attractive. How are you single?"
"Beats me."
"Are you scared of talking to girls?"
"No, that’s such a s-stupid quest—" Ganji cupped a hand over his mouth, hearing himself stutter. William laughed and teased him for it, pulling an arm around his shoulders.
"You act so tough, yet you’re too much of a pussy to go on a date with someone?"
"I don’t have time for things like that."
"Pfft. Excuses. I can set you up with someone sometime."
"I don’t think that’ll be necessary, William."
"Why not?"
"I don’t think I’m interested in being in a relationship yet."
"Well, give it time. You’ll feel it soon."
"Easy for you to say. You’ve been with a lot of people." Ganji rolled his eyes. "You’re a player on and off the field, huh?"
"What? No, of course not." William slipped his phone inside his pocket. "They just.. don’t work out.."
"Right. I don’t wanna waste my time with that."
"You just gotta find the right person."
"Easier said than done."
They walked on the bridge, Ganji scrolling through his social media pages and showing William any funny videos he came across. They took a break and sat against the railing when he complained about his legs cramping.
William rested his arms over his knees, leaning his head back.
"So, what do you think?"
"About..?"
"Today."
"Today? Today was.. something, I guess." Ganji smiled to himself, scratching his face. "If I had to be honest, I think I had fun."
"You talk like you’re not sure about how you feel."
Ganji frowned.
"I had fun with you today. I would.. like to.. do it again.. some.."
His voice wavered, and he got increasingly quieter, up until the point where his voice just drowned itself out. He fixed his curls and his bandana, averting his gaze. He couldn’t get too hopeful yet— maybe William would be busy— the both of them, actually. Athletes hardly had free time.
"Nevermind, forget it."
"Nah, I heard you. I’d be happy to hang out with you sometime. How about tomorrow? I’ll buy you coffee. We could even grab breakfast or something. It’s a Saturday, so we can go wherever you want."
Ganji was thinking to himself again; William saw it in his eyes, the way he tongued the inside of his cheek, the toying with the drawstring of his sweatshirt. He looked softer tonight. William wanted to see more of this side of him.
"Sure."
"I’ll drive you again. How does 10 sound?"
"Fine by me."
"Alright." William got up off the ground, stretching his legs. He offered a hand to Ganji, and the shorter man laughed, taking it with a firm grip.
They walked back to the car, talking back and forth, until it was just William droning on and on about whatever crossed his mind, with Ganji nodded and humming in reply to his words. William could see the fatigue of the guy next to him, so he guided him to his car as soon as he could.
When they reached it, William opened the door for Ganji, helping him get in so he didn’t trip on the curb. Once he was in his seat, he shut the door and got behind the wheel, tapping through his phone to find directions back to the dormitories.
They were both drained from the long day, and William completely lost track of time. It was much later than he thought. Ganji was already close to losing to his drowsiness— his head frequently tipped down when he was just about to sleep, before he shook himself awake, and so on.
William started a recording on his phone, holding the camera towards Ganji as he was driving. He could spot him in the corner of his eye, with a relieved smile.
For their first official hangout together, it went way better than William expected. The constant bickering was always funny to him, but Ganji acted like they knew each other since forever. The way he acted today was something he never saw before. William could hardly think of a time where the batter last treated someone like they actually made him happy.
He’d love to be that person.
Ganji’s head continued to fall forward persistently, until he actually closed his eyes. Stopping at a light, William kept his phone steady while reaching for a blanket in the backseat. He pulled it over the cricket player, tucking it over his shoulders. His thumb brushed the “Pause Recording” button, setting it in the cupholder. They’d be back at the dorms soon.
William made it back to the campus and parked his car, taking a minute to just sit back in his car and take a breather. He bumped Ganji’s arm to tell him they were here, but the batter was a heavier sleeper than he anticipated.
It was 11 PM, so everyone was probably in their respective rooms, sleeping in. Ganji didn’t look like he’d be waking up anytime soon, and William would feel bad about waking him up too hike up a few flights of stairs to get to his room. William’s dorm was closer, and he didn’t have a roommate, so Ganji staying in his for the night wouldn’t hurt.
He removed the blanket and carried the batter out of his seat, regardless of whether or not he’d find out in the morning and kill him. After successfully entering the building, William used the elevator to get to his room, being cautious about not dropping Ganji.
At his door, he shifted the sleeping guy over his shoulder so he could unlock it. Cricket was eagerly waiting for William’s return at the door, and he nearly threw Ganji to the ground when he felt something jump onto his leg in the dark.
(After he turned the lights on and saw his beloved kitten, he peeled her off of his jeans and kissed her on the head before tucking her in his pocket.)
William yawned, striding over to the unoccupied bed across from his. Ganji slipped out of his arms, gently settling into the mattress. The forward got a few extra pillows and blankets, adjusting the batter’s head and covering him so he would be comfortable enough to sleep good. He went out of his way to remove his headband too, setting it on his desk.
Before he left him alone, he took a picture of Ganji cozied up in his room as William held a thumbs up in the frame.
William dug his hand into the pocket of his sweatshirt, yanking a tiny little kitten out of it, dangling uselessly in the air. He kissed Cricket on the head and gave her a few scratches before setting her on the ground. He changed into something more breathable, trying to weave around the jumpy creature following his every step as he discarded his clothes into a laundry bag.
He fed the kitten and also tucked her in her tiny little nest at the foot of his bed, offering Cricket her favorite blanket and a stuffy to cuddle. Cricket yawned, pawing at the air and making biscuits on her toy. William eventually opted to go to bed as well. The forward shuffled underneath his blankets, turning on his phone to do a little scrolling before heading to sleep.
He checked his camera roll, rewatching the video he took of Ganji falling asleep in his car. His head bobbing was so dumb, yet he kept replaying the moment to see it happen again.
William was grateful to become friends with Ganji. It felt like he was missing out for awhile— the way they talked felt so natural. He was usually frustrated when it came to talking to different people because they didn’t like his loud personality. Even if Ganji would make remarks about it, it was easy for William to read his face and the tremble in his voice when he got too nervous to say anything else about him.
It was clear that he just wanted freedom too. Ganji didn’t smile like that before— not until he let William drag him out of his pit of loneliness. Not until the reflection of the red lights illuminated half of his face, not until he recognized that he could count the stars in the sky, not until his eyes laid upon the flowing waters of the river.
William captured that split second of elation in his heart in a single photo.
He collected everything he took of Ganji today and opened a new photo album on his phone, labeling it as the batter’s name. William even recovered the deleted photos. Without thinking about what he was getting himself into, he saved the bridge one to his favorites.
Chapter 2: Cafe Girl
Summary:
Ganji and William go to a cafe for breakfast. William’s obsessing over a new girl, and the batter feels uneasy about it. He meets a nice girl at the cafe, and he might just have a chance at making his love life better.
Chapter Text
Ganji shifted around in his bed, sweating uncontrollably in his sweatshirt and jeans. This was probably the worst outfit to wear to bed, and now he was dealing with the consequences as he woke up.
He rolled around, throwing an arm over a pillow to snuggle his face into. The batter was only getting comfortable again, until something wet and coarse licked his face. He yelped out loud in disgust, opening his eyes to William holding a little innocent Cricket in his hands.
"You’re finally up." William released the cat onto Ganji’s bed, fighting back a grin when the other guy glared at him. His face immediately softened up when Cricket crawled towards him. Ganji turned his body to lay on his side, facing her and closing one eye to let her lick his cheek. He smiled when she put a tiny paw on him.
"What time is it?" Ganji mumbled. He caressed Cricket’s cheek with his finger, as she responded with weak meows.
"It’s eight in the morning." William showed him his phone. Ganji lifted his chin up to read the time, nodding to him with a quiet thanks.
He went back to playing with the kitten, and the forward watched how she fit perfectly in his hand, climbing and nipping at his fingers. William was especially fond of the care in Ganji’s movements, slowly and gentle as he played with the cat. He could hear him talking to Cricket with a big smile. He recorded them on his phone, at first without Ganji seeing.
"Hi, baby." The batter cooed sleepily, with that same rasp in his voice from yesterday. Cricket headbutted his nose, trying to sneak underneath the gap under his chin and his arm. She meowed and whacked at him to grant her entry to the tiny space, and he tilted his head up to let her slip through. Cricket wrapped her paws around his wrist, cuddling him.
William wasn’t sure if he was jealous of him, or his own kitten.
Ganji caught the rugby player recording him, and the once adoring look in his eyes dissolved instantaneously. He blushed, trying to shield his face by leaning over Cricket and covering her.
"Stop.. don’t record me. It’s embarrassing."
"She likes you. Right, baby?" William leaned the camera towards Cricket, and the kitten chirped happily. Ganji hovered over her, fawning over the way she licked his chin.
"She’s really cute."
"She’s giving you kisses."
"I love you, Cricket. Aw, look at you, sweet girl." Ganji scooped her up in his hands, peppering her in kisses. She meowed and made a swimming motion, wriggling around.
He burst out laughing, letting her crawl around on his chest. The batter leaned his head back into the pillow, snickering at the ticklish kisses on his neck. He could feel Cricket nipping at his chin again, but he didn’t stop her.
"She’s way nicer than you." Ganji looked at William, rubbing the kitten’s cheek.
"What? Where do you think she got her cuteness from?"
"Definitely not you. Cricket’s better than you by a long shot. Ain’t that right?"
She meowed in agreement, accidentally slipping into the crook of Ganji’s neck. He had to fish her out and rebalance her on his chest. William was glad he caught it on video.
"I can’t believe you like me just for my cat."
"Aw, William, don’t misunderstand it." Ganji poked Cricket’s nose, playfully waving his finger around to watch her chase after it. "I don’t like you. I do like your cat, though." The batter winked.
"That’s so mean. You know all the things I did for you?"
"I’d kick your ass for waking me up early, but this is the best thing to wake up to."
Ganji looked William up and down, before acknowledging that he was already dressed for the day. He smelled clean and presented himself so nicely— he had a black bandana tied over his locs, a loose black button up with white wave patterns, and dark wash jeans. He was trying to count the necklaces he had on.
Was he dressed so fancy just to grab breakfast? Could Ganji even match that style? Why was he so much better than him at everything? He chewed on his lip, unknowingly admiring William.
William hadn’t stopped recording, but he tried not to laugh at Ganji pausing after that sentence. In the video, his eyes were trailing up and down, ignoring the kitten in his arms. He stopped the video, hiding his phone in his pocket.
"I appreciate the compliment."
"H- what? I didn’t say anything, though."
Ganji could see the slight crease in William’s eyes, and his body temperature was spiking again. He suddenly understood what he was trying to tell him, and he brought Cricket closer to his face, kissing her to hide his shame.
"I wasn’t talking about you. I meant your cat."
"Yeah, yeah," William shook his head. "You gonna get ready or what?"
"It’s so early." Ganji groaned, snuggling the kitten in his arms as he rolled to turn his back to William. "Let’s go back to sleep, Cricket."
"Don’t steal my own cat from me, you lazy bitch. Come on, get your ass up. Go back to your dorm and shower, you smell."
"I do not." Ganji glanced over his shoulder, scowling. After a few seconds of cursing to himself, he handed Cricket back to her rightful owner, rising up from the bed. "I can go back to my dorm and grab my stuff. I can’t shower in there though, I don’t wanna wake up my roommate— he’s not a morning guy."
"That’s fine. Use my bathroom. You can come back and play with Cricket, too."
"Anything for her." Ganji got off the bed, standing up to stretch. He felt around his pockets, filled with dread when they were empty. The batter threw the blanket off of the bed, searching the mattress.
"Where is it?"
"What are you looking for?"
"My phone. I can’t find it." Ganji lifted up his pillow, patting the entire bed down.
William simply reached forward, tugging Ganji by his hood with his free hand. He let out a small hitched gasp, his hands scrambling up to his neck.
"Calm down. I have your phone. It’s charging on my desk. I also put your keys and your wallet there too."
"You didn’t steal anything, did y—"
"Nope. I didn’t take anything. Take a look if you don’t believe me." The forward tossed him his wallet. Ganji looked at him doubtfully, checking to see that all the contents inside had been unchanged. Everything was where it was supposed to be.
William gave him his phone and keys too, shaking his head. Cricket stared at her owner and mimicked his motions, shaking her wobbly head.
"What—"
"What would you do without me? I know." William smirked. "Go and get ready, idiot."
"Fine, I will. You better be taking us to a good spot if you’re so excited to go."
"You’ll like it."
"Let me give Cricket a kiss." Ganji stepped towards William. He gave the kitten a peck on the cheek, holding his hand out so she would return the high five. "I’ll see you later, baby."
"You talkin’ to me or her?"
"What? Her, obviously. Like I’d call you that in a million years." Ganji scoffed, rising back up. He stuffed his things into his pocket, ruffling his hair. "Hey, give me my headband."
"Cricket claims it as her own." William picked up the blue headband and held it in front of Cricket, letting her snatch it and nibble on it. Ganji blinked, accepting defeat. Because it was her, he would let it pass.
"I’ll be back. I’ll use your shower."
Getting back into his dorm and grabbing his stuff while simultaneously trying not to wake up his grumpy roommate was a task. Ganji felt like he was walking in a minefield, being mindful of every step and move he took. He grabbed a bag and gathered all the things he needed to get ready, glancing to see if Norton was waking up.
He safely slipped out of his room without alerting the guy, and he hurried back to William’s dorm to see his cat. Ganji knocked on the door and backed up a few steps, taking a quick look at his phone.
When the door creaked, he was immediately startled by Cricket being tossed to him. He dropped his phone in order to catch her, but thankfully, her claws clung onto his sweatshirt. Ganji pressed his lips together, holding her in one palm while bending over to pick up his phone.
"Thanks for the surprise gift, William. I guess I’ll take my leave, now that I got what I wanted."
Ganji smiled and turned away from the door, walking away from the forward standing there.
"Yeah, not a chance. Get your ass in here."
William grabbed his hood, dragging him back towards him. The batter made a choked sound, accepting his fate.
"Yes, sir.."
He stumbled into William’s dorm, looking around for the bathroom door. The forward pointed to a white door nearby.
"I have towels if you need some. Actually, if you need anything, let me know, alright?"
"I’ll be fine."
Ganji put Cricket down on the floor. She meowed pitifully, making a poor attempt at hiking up his pants. He pried her off, holding her like she was a dumbbell. William whispered to draw the kitten’s attention over to him, in which she happily trotted over to him.
The batter brought his bag and other morning things into the bathroom, looking over his shoulder to see both the cat and her tall owner staring at him inquisitively. Ganji narrowed his eyes.
"Do you need something?"
"No."
"Stop waiting outside the door for me like a dog."
"So mean!" William laughed, still squatting on the ground to pet Cricket. She wobbled her way to the batter, calling for him. William had to try and drag her away before her head got slammed in the door.
"Sorry, baby. I’ll be back in a second." Ganji nudged her head out of the way, clicking the door shut and locking it. While he was in the middle of taking his shirt off, he noticed the little paw jammed under the gap of the door, and he snickered at it.
The shower was refreshing and rejuvenated his body right away. He almost melted at the sensation of the hot water trickling down his back, and he could easily sit here in the steam forever. Working his hair products into his curls was always a tedious process, but the result always ended up nice. As he was washing himself, he took note of William’s own products, somewhat surprised by how many he had.
William did emphasize his hygiene. The guy hardly ever smelled as bad as the other rugby players. Ganji thought it was surprising how there wasn’t a single 3-1 bottle of body wash in sight.
While Ganji was showering, William was laying in his bed with Cricket, holding a small squeezable tube of cat food for her to lap up. He kept it up to her mouth and smiled at the mess on her face he’d have to clean later. At the same time, he scrolled on his phone, checking any messages he had.
His inbox was usually blown up with a bunch of messages from his admirers, girls who were interested in him and were brave enough to shoot their shot with the rugby player. In his mind, he felt too mean to leave them all ignored, so responding to every message was a task.
There was a pretty girl named Maeve he had his eye on. He was willing to meet up with her sometime and go out together, but since he was getting along with Ganji, he didn’t know when to plan a date. Maeve asked if they could call and talk about it, so that’s what he ended up doing while his friend was busy showering.
Ganji got out of the shower and dried his hair, styling it a little neater while frequently checking time. He changed into a loose black and white tracksuit, trying to brush his teeth and wash his face after. The batter could hear William’s voice from behind the door, and by the sound of it, he was talking to someone on the phone.
He carried his bag out as he left the bathroom, fixing his silver earrings. Cricket popped up from William’s chest, gravitating towards the batter. Ganji set his stuff down and picked her up. He almost let her lick his face, before seeing the fresh cat food on her mouth.
William was smiling big and wide while calling someone. Ganji made eye contact with him, confused as to who he was talking with. Who could be making him laugh this much?
The forward got up out of his bed, still engrossed in his conversation. You ready to go? He mouthed to Ganji. He noddly softly, stroking Cricket’s fur with his fingers.
"Next week sounds great. Well, hang on, let’s see—" William walked to the calender hanging on his wall, narrowing his eyes at the date. Ganji stood behind him, standing up on his toes to investigate and see what he was talking about.
"You wanna go to Starlight Diner?" William grinned. He turned around, patting Ganji’s head as he walked past him to grab his things. The forward motioned for him to get moving so that they could go buy breakfast. Reluctant, he put Cricket back in her tiny bed and followed William.
He sounded like he was talking to yet another girl. William felt like the type of guy to talk to someone new if he got bored of one person. Ganji himself couldn’t keep track of who he last talked to— even more, the last person he actually dated.
Ganji felt like gagging at how sappy William was being. His voice was a lot sweeter than usual, honeyed to appeal to the girl on the phone. Even while they were leaving his dorm and going down the stairs, he was forced to listen to his stupid laughter and his idiotic flirting, desperately trying to suppress the burning feeling in his chest that was annoying him.
William just became his friend. Although he could be frustrating, Ganji was still learning how to build these complex connections with people. It made him feel irritated when he was standing right next to him, still being ignored.
Like how it used to be. Ignored by everyone, except William. He didn’t like the idea of him turning away for a second. Ganji sighed loudly, descending the stairs to get ahead of William.
The forward grabbed him by his sleeve, pulling him back towards him like he was on a leash. He furrowed his brows, smiling as he lowered the phone.
"Why are you in a rush? We have time, Gupta."
"Shut up." Ganji brushed his arm off. "I just wanna get out of here."
"Do you feel awkward about me calling someone?"
"Not at all."
"You look mad. Something wrong?"
"Not at all. Can you hurry? I’m hungry."
William nodded, lifting his phone to his ear again.
"I’ll call you later, Maeve. See ya."
Ganji watched him hang up, tucking his phone away as if nothing happened. They reached the main floor and headed out to the parking lot, sighing at the warm air today. He eyed William every few seconds, and he caught him half the time. Letting his curiosity get the best of him, he slowly looked down and muttered something.
"Who were you.." Ganji glanced off, stopping himself from finishing the sentence.
"Huh?" William leaned down, cocking his head. "Sorry, I didn’t catch that."
"William, who were you calling?"
"What? Oh, you mean just now?" William looked at his phone, happily showing a picture of someone and putting the screen in front of Ganji. "Some cute girl. Her name’s Maeve."
The batter leaned his chin down to check out the photo, drawing his mouth into a flat-lipped smile. She was genuinely gorgeous— clear, brown skin and big soft lips, her smile almost equal to William’s. Her eyes were downturned and her makeup was flawless, complimenting her features. Maeve’s hair was thick and wavy, running down past her chest.
Ganji nudged the phone back to William, nodding. They approached his car, moving to different sides so they could enter.
"She’s pretty."
"Right?" William sighed dreamily, unlocking his car. "I’m taking her out next week. We only started talking recently, and—"
"That’s good for you." Ganji interrupted, quickly stepping forward to open the passenger door and slip inside the car. William was baffled, but despite that, he wordlessly got into the driver’s seat.
He started up the car after they secured their seatbelts. While driving out to get to the cafe, William leaned towards Ganji.
"Are you jeal—"
"Will you shut up about that!?" Ganji snapped, slamming his hands on the armrests. "Stop asking if I’m fucking jealous of you! It’s almost like you want to rub it in!"
Fuck, Ganji panicked, leaning his head against the headrest. He got mad over nothing again. William was always taunting him, and he could tolerate it half the time, but why did it piss him off this time?
"Oh.. my bad. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything." William whistled, inching away from him to focus on the road.
"Whatever."
"What do you usually get at cafes?"
"Why do you care?" Ganji bit at the skin around his thumb, looking towards William.
"Well, I’m curious. I think a person’s order can say a lot about them."
"Not telling you."
"It can’t be that bad."
"I never said it was bad.."
"Whatever you say." William hummed.
They rolled into the cafe’s parking lot, waiting outside. Ganji had been here before, as the students at their university (him included) visited quite often. He was the first to exit the car, and he waited for William, who was still in the car, occupied with obsessively checking his phone. The batter rolled his eyes, turning away to observe the town.
For a weekend, the cafe wasn’t too crowded. There were plenty of people inside, some sitting outside to bask in the sun and enjoy the nice weather. Ganji watched the bustling cars passing by, thinking about how nice it’d be to bring his siblings here.
William left the car, searching around for Ganji. He found him staring off into the void, unsuspecting of the forward behind him. The cricketer was the perfect height for him to lay his head on top of his hair.. with his curls so freshly washed, he was tempted to do it. He smelled clean.
Ganji was checking his phone, taking his eyes off of the world for a moment. In that instant, someone touched him on his shoulders, and he jumped. William pulled him back, and he looked down at him excitedly.
"Done daydreaming? Let’s go inside."
"I wasn’t daydreaming. I was waiting for you." Ganji pushed him away. "Bet your ass was busy texting Maeve."
"I was."
"That’s nice." Ganji opened the cafe door, walking in while holding it for William. He claimed a table for two, sitting down almost immediately before William could stop him.
"You want me to order for you, don’t you?" The taller man snickered. The other blushed, although he did not respond to his comment. William checked out the line.
"What do you wanna get?"
Ganji lifted the menu up in his hands weakly, resting his cheek in his palm. He wet his lips, thinking quietly. William waited, but he also observed how ridiculously charming the cricketer was when he was shy.
"Get me a cappuccino.. and a French Breakfast plate."
"Oh. Wow." William stifled a laugh. Ganji glared at him. "That’s so cute.."
He didn’t try to make fun of him— it really was cute how he could like these sweet things even though he acted so scary. It was only ironic how an intimidating guy like him had another persona where he secretly adored things like cats and sugary desserts.
"Tch. Why do I bother going anywhere with you..?" Ganji stood up.
"No, you’re not going anywhere." William scoffed, grabbing his arms as he forced him back down in his chair. Ganji stubbornly refused, until he was completely sat down. Clearly, running was not an option.
"Wait here. I’m ordering."
".. fine."
William left to go to the line. Ganji bit at his thumb again, nervously scrolling on his phone. His leg was trembling, quickly tapping on the ground. He tried to steady himself. What gave him anxiety was beyond him; whether it was the crowded space and William leaving him for a second, or the thought of William abandoning him after just becoming friends, he was scared of socializing.
Someone gently tapped his shoulder from behind, and he raised his head, swiveling around in his chair. A brunette girl around his age smiled down at him. Ganji straightened up, lowering his phone.
"Hi." She grinned politely.
"Hey." Ganji rested an arm over his chair. He looked her up and down, putting on a soft smile so he wouldn’t scare her away.
"Uhm.. my friend over there thinks you’re really cute.. and she wants your number.."
She pointed behind her to a ginger girl at a nearby table, who was bright red and hiding her face in her hands. Ganji gazed towards her, and then for a second, he looked at William.
Are you scared of talking to girls?
Idiot. Why would he be scared?
"Sure."
Ganji took the strawberry phone in the girl’s hands, and put his number into it. Afterwards, she nodded gratefully with a quiet thanks and returned to her friend. The ginger girl was still smiling at him, so he returned the gesture and raised a hand to wave at her.
William was waiting in line to order, and he looked in Ganji’s direction once or twice to see if he was still there. To his delight, he caught him talking to a girl. He turned his phone off and watched the conversation, staring at the batter the whole time.
He looked comfortable.. the forward bit his lip watching Ganji immediately change his personality, replacing that intimidating scowl with a heartfelt look in his eyes when talking to a girl. William felt like it was cute to see, and he almost wished that Ganji spared enough time to look at him without malice for once.
The curly haired man spotted him watching from afar, and he craned his neck to look back at him, glaring again. William winked at him and lifted his chin in the direction of the girl, signaling for him to go talk to her. Ganji ignored him, going back on his phone.
When he placed their order and paid, he was quick to go and bug the batter about it. He approached Ganji from behind, grabbing his shoulders and tipping his chair backwards. Ganji let out a tiny gasp, lifting his head to meet William’s eyes.
"What—"
"Who was that girl you were talking to?"
"Who, the brown haired one?"
"Yeah."
"Her friend wanted my number.."
"And you gave it to her?"
Ganji nodded, blushing. William shook his chair, shaking with excitement.
"And you didn’t scare them away, right?"
"Why would you say that?" Ganji hissed, shooing William away like a fly. He scolded him, pointing for him to sit back down and behave normally.
(The forward obeyed him, anyway.)
"So.. wow. You talk to girls. That’s," William whistled, fixing his bandana, "that’s.. shocking."
"I’ll show you, you ass. I can talk to a girl just as well as you can." Ganji leaned back in his seat, arms crossed.
"Really."
"Yep." He replied with a curt nod, smirking.
"Really, Ganji?"
Ganji’s smile left his face at the sound of William purring his name and letting it roll off his tongue so naturally. He opened his mouth, unsure of what to say after.
"I.."
"Yeah?"
William made eye contact with him. Ganji returned the look, immediately folding when he saw the forward’s eyes flicker down for a split second. He glanced away, scrolling through his phone so he would have a reason not to talk to William.
"What’d I say about phones, Ganji? Don’t ignore me because you’re shy."
"Oh my god. Can you not talk to me like that?" Ganji blushed, turning his phone off before William had the chance to snatch it. "It makes me feel weird."
"Weird.. how?"
"Are you so naturally flirty that you don’t process anything that comes out of your mouth?"
"Only for you." William snickered. Ganji kicked him under the table, and the rugby player started wheezing hard. It wasn’t hard to get a reaction like that from anyone, but seeing he managed to make him feel a little bashful, he’s never let it go.
To William’s amusement, Ganji listened to him and never took his phone out. He was clearly awkward about it and itched to have a distraction, but instead, he would clasp his hands together and fidget with his fingers. The batter curiously eyed around the cafe, observing the different tables and the bustling conversation around.
William took a sneaky photo of Ganji, saving it in his phone. He posted it onto his social media, smiling at how cute he looked.
Ganji caught him on his phone after scolding him. He frowned, leaning forward.
"Hey. So does the phone rule only apply to me?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"What? That’s not fair."
"Never said it was."
"So I’m not good enough to talk to, got it." Ganji rolled his eyes bitterly, resting his cheek in his palm. "Not as good as Maeve.."
"What was that last part?" William looked up from his screen.
"I didn’t say anything."
"Oh. Alright."
A server came to their table with a tray, setting their drinks down in front of them, and dishing out their food. The scent of the breakfast plate should have been able to wake Ganji up, but he felt even more sluggish. He stared deep into the grooves of the wooden table, tuning out the sound of the tables around them.
William was busy taking a picture of his food, until he noticed how eerily quiet Ganji was. He hadn’t even taken a good look at his breakfast. His eyes were open, yet they seemed so empty. The forward nudged his arm, before he was startled by the batter hitting him away instinctively.
It worked, though. Ganji snapped out of his thoughts. He widened his eyes after he slapped William’s hand off of him.
".. I’m sorry."
"It’s.. Ganji, no worries. Didn’t mean to scare you."
Ganji picked up his fork and knife as he shrugged. He poked at his egg, cutting it in half. He watched the yolk flow slowly. The atmosphere was good at first, but now it was starting to hurt his head. He felt like something was itching inside of his body, but he didn’t know what to do to get rid of the feeling. He couldn’t just bail either.
William was devouring his food, taking long swigs of his refreshing fruit juice. He checked up on Ganji from time to time, concerned about how slowly he was eating. The shorter man was biting on his fork, barely chewing.
Would starting conversation help?
"So," William swallowed, "did you sleep well?"
The way Ganji glared at him told him he said something wrong. William tried to force an innocent smile, hoping he wouldn’t take it the wrong way.
"It was fine."
"I hope you didn’t mind that I took you to my dorm."
"Not like it means anything. Not that I care." Ganji bit a small piece of bacon, his eye twitching faintly. "My roommate would have been pissed if I came back late, so.. thanks for that, I guess."
"How come?"
"He gets mad if you disrupt him in his sleep. Pain in the ass. I argue with him sometimes, so it gets annoying." Ganji took a sip of his coffee, sighing. "People are naturally irritating."
"Who’s your roommate?"
"Norton."
"Oh, god. Out of all people?"
"Yeah."
"I feel bad for you."
"But what can I do about it?"
"I don’t have a roommate. Why don’t you be mine?" William pointed at him with his fork.
"Ugh. Between you and Norton, I’d rather stay as his roommate." Ganji cringed. "Nice try, but no."
"I’m way nicer. And don’t forget who else will be in my room if you decide to stay with me."
Ganji stopped eating. He took a deep breath, dropping his fork as he clenched his fists. The batter pressed his hand to his temple, and William had a smug grin on his face as he knew he was already convinced.
"I hate that you have to drag Cricket into this."
"So you do like my cat more than me!"
"Yes, god, William, I love your cat more than anything."
"But, that’s besides the point— would you really consider rooming with me?"
".. you won’t give me an earful everyday for accidentally waking you up, will you?"
"I won’t."
"Will you clean up after yourself and actually do your chores?"
"Obviously."
".. can I sleep with Cricket?"
William frowned, tearing a small bit of his croissant to eat.
"What if I said no?"
"Then I won’t room with you."
"Well, she’s so little. What if you rolled onto her in the middle of the night?"
"I’ll keep her safe. Tucked right into my shirt." Ganji finally smiled, and it made William feel relief wash over him.
"Then.. sure." The forward raised an eyebrow. "But don’t hog her from me. That’s my kitten, Ganji."
"Okay. Uhm.. I can talk with the RA about it, hopefully."
"I can’t wait. It’ll be fun to have you around."
Ganji caught himself smiling again, but he didn’t stop this time. He laughed softly, and the sound tickled William’s brain in all the right ways. There were people he knew with their own laughs, but never had he ever felt so light when he listened to someone with a voice like his. He could listen to him like that forever.
It was a shame he didn’t laugh as often.
They ate their food in solidarity, talking about the things that they could do if they were roommates. William mentioned that they could study together at night, because he knew Ganji was a little smarter than he was.
"Maybe it’s because you’re always hitting your damn head on something." The cricketer teased. William laughed and flicked his head.
"Sometimes, but that doesn’t make me completely stupid."
"I’d beg to differ."
"Okay, well, just imagine it. We could study together in my room, and Cricket can help too."
"Of course. She’s probably smarter than you are."
"Alright, that’s enough." The forward sighed in defeat.
Ganji never said anything about how the idea of rooming with William made him feel. In all seriousness, he was really happy. He could have a weight lifted off his shoulders. No more useless bickering with Norton, bitter, petty arguments that emerged every time he walked through the door.
They argued so often that his neighbors and classmates would go up to their door to voice their complaints and concerns. It was humiliating because it wasn’t his fault they just didn’t get along well.
William was nice. It made him nervous. Ganji could’ve easily been like Norton— he would regret snapping at him whenever he was in a bad mood.
William saw the scrunch in Ganji’s nose, a look of uncertainty in his eyes. He whistled to catch his attention, and the other guy raised his head.
"What?"
"You good?"
"Yeah." Ganji paused. "I.. I guess I’m really thinking about it. Being with you wouldn’t be so bad."
"Is that so..?" William pursed his lips and rubbed his face, looking away. His head felt so light hearing that wording. "You mean it?"
"Yeah. I mean it. Why wouldn’t I?"
"I just— I didn’t believe that you’d actually consider it. We’ve been hanging out for only a day or two."
"You’re nice to me." Ganji mumbled, finishing his coffee. He hummed, cleaning up the table and organizing their plates into neat stacks. "I don’t like talking to other people. But you’re pretty cool, you know?"
William grinned. Ganji telling him he was a nice person to be around made him feel elated— hearing this specific guy claim that he didn’t like talking to anyone else made him feel like an exception. He contained his excitement, nodding in agreement.
"I appreciate it. You’re decent too. Love to hang out with you again sometime."
"Good luck with that. Considering our schedules, it won’t be that easy." Ganji brushed his hands off. He reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. "How much do I owe you?"
"Seriously, man, you don’t have to—"
"Let me pay for something for once.."
"Nah. I invited you to hang out, so obviously I’m always paying."
"Is that how it works here?"
"Yeah."
".. tch. Fine." Ganji scoffed, sliding his wallet back. "I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be back."
"Alright." William waved him off as he got up. He watched Ganji for a few seconds, before sinking back against his chair with his phone out. He had a few new messages from Maeve, and comments under his post of Ganji. The forward’s brows raised subtly when most of them were girls thirsting over his friend.
He told himself he wouldn’t think much of it, and maybe it was a good opportunity to set Ganji up with someone anyway. Yet when he read through each comment, it made him feel somewhat jealous of the attention he was getting. William squinted hard at a sexual comment about him, almost tempted to delete it.
William read over Maeve’s message while waiting for his friend to return.
M: How’s your day so far?
W: It’s great. I’m at a cafe with my friend.
M: Oh, that’s sweet! Who are you with?
W: Ganji Gupta? You know him?
M: Like.. the cricket player with the scars?
W: That’s him.
M: Wasn’t there a rumor going around about him awhile ago?
W: What are you talking about?
M: The last place he played cricket for mysteriously burnt down with people inside it. Everyone says that he was the one involved with it.
What the hell was she talking about? William sat up straight, leaning over his phone. He looked baffled at what Maeve was saying.
W: Maeve, he wouldn’t do a thing like that
W: He’s a good person
M: Sorry, I just want to make sure you’re being safe
M: People say he’s violent
M: He’s always yelling in his dorm
M: I hear it every night.
W: It’s because of his roommate. It’s nothing more than that.
M: Okay. Just looking out for you.
Maeve was a nice person. But the tone she used when talking about Ganji sounded so.. different. Was she implying that he was a dangerous person to be around?
How could he let someone get away with talking badly about his friend?
W: I promise, it’s fine. Thanks anyway.
He put his phone down, needing a second to cool down. If he texted Maeve any further, he was worried that he would say something out of line. He just couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that anyone could ever think Ganji was a bad person.
Sure, he might have been.. scary. He transferred to their middle school out of nowhere, and rumors started piling up instantly. William heard all about them. Rumors that he was a foreigner, that he was dirty, that he was aggressive and would swing at anyone who looked or talked to him— it was all bullshit.
He did recall now that there was news about the Queen’s Guard incident some time ago.. a fire. Ganji was the first person to be suspected, despite the other cricket players. It didn’t look good for him at all, and he’s been watched from a distance since then. Only William was ever brave enough to talk to him.
Even so, when he did, there was nothing wrong about this guy. They were two sides of the same coin. Everyone loved William and they were fearful of Ganji, when they were so similar. What were they scared of? Couldn’t he just prove that the batter wasn’t the criminal everyone assumed he was?
The forward heard Ganji’s voice from afar, and he noticed him talking to a ginger girl at a table. He was smiling and nodding, his eyes glancing in William’s direction before meeting his gaze. Ganji visibly blushed, waving to the girl as he returned to him. The girl and her friends turned to one another, erupting into giggles.
"Sorry." Ganji picked up his stuff. "Should we go now?"
"Yeah." William stood up, stretching his arms. He grabbed his keys, looking the batter up and down. "You’re making a lot of moves today. What happened to not being interested in a relationship?"
"Uh.. well, I just—"
"Hang on."
"What?"
William reached a hand out, fixing the collar of Ganji’s jacket. He stood there, frozen the second his hand brushed his neck. Why didn’t he just point it out? Ganji could’ve easily fixed it himself. He didn’t know what to do, except stare at William’s hand working to neaten his clothes for him. It took a lot of willpower to not think about how rough his hand felt, and how it made him shiver a little.
Oh, fuck, and there was the scent of his cologne. It always smelled so damn amazing, it was the only thing he could think about.
A finger harshly nudged his chin up, and he gasped from how off-guard he was. William laughed at him, leaning away as he swung his keys in his hand.
"You’re all good. What were you saying?"
"Let’s talk about it in the car."
"Fine by me."
Ganji left a tip before they headed out the door to William’s car. Settling into the black-and-red leather seats, he poked at the rugby ball dangling from the mirror. As they both buckled their seatbelts on, William pried a little more.
"Does she go to our school?"
"Not as far as I’m aware."
"Are you really interested in her?"
"I don’t know. She’s cute, I guess. She approached me first."
"That’s what I’m talking about!" William slapped a hand over Ganji’s shoulder, encouragingly. "Go get your girl, man."
The batter threw his head back and barked out a laugh, throwing William’s hand off of him.
"Don’t rush me. It’s not familiar to me yet."
"What do you mean?" William started the car, backing out of the parking lot. He looked around for other cars, leaving the cafe.
"Don’t embarrass me."
"I’m not trying to. I don’t know what you mean by that."
"I haven’t dated a lot of girls, like you."
"And hey, you know what? That’s fine."
"It’s not. Everyone likes you a lot, because you’re good at rugby, and they all know you."
"You’re the same. You’re fucking amazing at cricket."
Shit.
Ganji almost evaporated at the compliment itself. William teased and mocked him for playing cricket, but when he admitted that he had talent, his heartrate nearly accelerated. He couldn’t remember the last time someone really acknowledged his talent.
"It.. you know, it doesn’t matter how good I am. I’m not interesting like you. I feel like, no matter what I do, everyone’s always scared or disgusted by me." He pressed a hand to the side of his head, massaging his temples.
"Are you saying that girls are scared of you?"
Ganji noddedly sadly. William tilted his head, softening his eyes.
"I see. Well, that changes now. Look on the bright side. There’s a girl that likes you. So shoot your shot, and I think everything will be fine." He ruffled the batter’s hair. William played with his fluffy curls, grinning at Ganji’s irritated groans.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, promise. Girls are easy."
"I trust you, William."
William nodded. He pulled his hand away from Ganji’s head. The batter appreciated his concern and his reassurance when he needed it. He hoped that his next partner would be like that.
A hand slapped his thigh, and he flinched with a pained yelp. Ganji glared at William suspiciously.
"Also, if it doesn’t work out, don’t feel discouraged. You still have me." The forward tapped his finger on the batter’s leg. Ganji looked flustered, and it was the exact reaction he wanted. He stifled a loud laugh as the shorter guy tried to process what to do.
"Get off of me." He mumbled, pushing William’s arm away. "Do you even know where we’re going?"
"Oh. I was gonna drive back to the dorms. Did you wanna talk to the RA today, or were you deciding later?"
".. I might need more time."
"No problem. Did you wanna go somewhere? Like the park? We can take a walk."
"Today’s pretty nice." Ganji replied, playing with his fingers again. William hummed in response, turning in the direction of the park.
William couldn’t help but watch Ganji the entire time. He reflected back on what Maeve said, about burning the Queen’s Guard. No matter how hard he looked at him, he couldn’t feel anything wrong with him. Maybe she was just easily influenced by the rumors.
While staring at him, he observed the scar on his nose, and more scars on his hands. He never remembered how Ganji got those. When he was in middle school and highschool, he didn’t have those before. If he guessed right, they just appeared either this year, or the one before.
Was he allowed to.. ask?
"Ganji."
"Yeah?"
"How’d you get those scars?"
Ganji’s smile dropped the second the words left his mouth. William felt an overpowering sense of dread in the car. He should have realized how personal the question was, especially when the batter suddenly lowered his eyes. He wanted to apologize for bringing it up, but he was curious to hear what he would say.
".. it’s none of your business. Stop asking." Ganji pulled his sleeves down, looking away with his arms crossed.
"Sorry." William shrugged.
The car ride was quiet again, until they reached the park. Ganji was almost as silent as he was when he was asleep. William tried to nudge him when they got there, but the batter already hurried to open the door and leave. The forward followed him after locking his car.
They followed the path, walking side by side. Children were on the playground, laughing and screaming together. Both William and Ganji looked over at them.
"Look at that kid," William snickered, pointing to a little boy sitting on top of the monkey bars. "Huh, I miss playing on the playground with my friends like that."
Ganji didn’t say anything. He looked at the kids playing, and his heart felt weirdly heavy. He couldn’t reminisce on his childhood like William did. All of his friends were in India, and all of the kids here always excluded him. When he moved in middle school, he didn’t have anyone to play with, did he?
William could read the look in his eyes. He walked ahead, grabbing Ganji by his sleeve and dragging him along. When the batter stumbled along, he quickly let go.
"So," he sighed, "when do you think you’ll tell the RA?"
"I don’t know." Ganji kicked a rock. "I’ll see if Norton changes at all. If he keeps being an ass, then that’s that."
"Let me know when you do make up your mind. Don’t keep me hanging, Ganji."
"I’ll try not to." Ganji looked up at him, raising his eyebrows. "Though, don’t give me a reason to change my mind."
"I won’t."
Ganji cocked his head slightly with a subtle smile. William glanced at his face, studying his deep set eyes. It fitted well with the hazy brown color of his iris— he looked down at his scar, and how it ran across his nose bridge. The guy was charming, if anything. William was jealous of his eyes, especially. He loved how pretty they looked.
Whatever the forward was doing, he wasn’t hiding it well. Ganji felt like he was under some kind of pressure as William was looking right into his soul. His pupils kept moving up and down when he was making eye contact with him. Whether it was intentional or not, it was too much for the batter to handle.
"Is there something on my face? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Yeah, there is."
They stopped walking, and William extended his hand. Ganji waited for his palm to make contact with his face, and when it did, he tried to stay still. His thumb rubbed his cheek softly. The batter wanted to strangle himself the moment he felt that warm flutter in his chest again.
Hopefully it wasn’t another one of William’s idiotic attempts at making him look like a fool.
"It was an eyelash." William put his hands in his pocket, standing up straight.
"Thanks."
He casually started walking again. Ganji trailed behind him, rubbing his cheek. William’s phone started ringing in his pocket, and Ganji almost sighed out loud when he knew who it was from the way he smiled.
"Maeve?" The batter leaned forward.
"Yeah." William picked up his phone, pressing it up to his ear with a wide grin. "Hey, Maeve."
If I knew that he was gonna drag me here just to talk to her all day, I would have chosen to go back home.. Ganji rolled his eyes. He got on his phone, seeing he got a text message from someone. It was the girl from the cafe.
?: Hey, are you the guy from the cafe?
G: Yeah.
?: What’s your name?
G: Ganji. Yours?
E: I’m Evelyn.
G: Nice to meet you, Evelyn.
He quickly saved her as a contact. Ganji bat an eye at William, who was, unsurprisingly, too absorbed in his call to give any fucks about him.
E: Sorry for getting my friend to ask for your number. You’re really cute, and I was too shy to go up to you myself.
G: I don’t mind.
Ganji held his hand over his mouth, thinking. What was he supposed to say at this point? He didn’t know how to flirt at all.
G: You’re pretty, too.
E: Aw, thank you.
G: What school do you go to?
E: Cypress.
G: Oh, that’s nice. Not too far from the cafe.
E: Yeah, I go there all the time with my friends. Where do you go?
G: Oletus.
E: Whaat!? Really?
G: Yeah.
"Pfft, seriously?" William laughed on the phone. "Maeve, I swear, you look fine. That dress looks good on you. The photo’s cute."
He looked over to the side, catching Ganji on his phone. The cricket player was smiling and chuckling to himself, and William, nosy as he was, read his messages.
Who the hell is Evelyn? He scrunched his nose. Ah, hang on. Of course— the cafe girl.
His perfect smile and the sound of his soft voice when he huffs or snickers at her messages made William feel a sense of competition. He put an arm around Ganji’s shoulder, making him nearly drop his phone.
"What are you doing?" Ganji turned his phone off.
"What? Nothing." William whistled innocently.
The batter scoffed. He couldn’t text a girl, but William could talk with his? This was unfair. He wrinkled his nose, frowning.
"Aw, don’t give me that look. Brighten up. It’s a nice day."
"Shut up."
"Are you shy because I interrupted something?"
"No." He blushed. "No.."
"You’re blushing." William cupped his face, squeezing his cheeks. Ganji shook his head, whacking him in the face.
"Knock it off!"
William laughed, but he still kept his arm around Ganji for comfort. He forgot that he was on call with Maeve for a second, and remembered only when she kept on calling his name through the phone.
"Sorry, sorry. Were you saying something?"
He resumed his call, and Ganji was still trapped in his arm. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop on purpose, but he overheard them talking about their date next week. The batter had an idea, and decided to text Evelyn back.
G: Hey, are you busy in about 2 weeks?
E: Nope, I should be free.
G: Would you wanna go to a restaurant together?
E: Oh, that sounds great. What are you thinking?
G: Coeur d’Amour?
E: That place is beautiful! I’d love to go!
G: Sounds good. I’ll text you more details.
He turned his phone off, so William wouldn’t be snooping again. It was about time he tried to be more social, so if he could get a girlfriend, maybe it’d do some good for him and his reputation. Ganji felt happy just thinking about it.
William was still busy talking to Maeve. He wanted to ask to go back to the dorms at this point. How long were they going to be on the phone for? The forward asked to come here to walk together. Ganji somehow felt excluded despite standing right next to him.
He shifted William’s arm off of his shoulders, but the taller guy didn’t even seem to care. He kept walking ahead, smiling so carefree. Ganji was getting frustrated. He grabbed his wrist to stop him.
The forward blinked and widened his eyes, lowering his phone to look at him. The batter looked upset again.
"Can we go home? Or sit down somewhere, at least?" His fingers loosened around William’s arm, slowly slipping.
"Oh. Oh, I’m so sorry. Yeah, there’s a bench, we can sit for a few minutes."
William guided Ganji to a place to sit. He was confused when he sat farther away from him, but he left him alone. He talked to Maeve until she said she had to go, and they both said goodbye as she ended the call. Sighing and leaning back into the bench, he poked Ganji on his shoulder.
"Ready to go back?"
Ganji nodded.
"Let’s go back to the car."
Ganji slammed the door shut, happy to be in the comfort of William’s car. The cologne woke him up, and he sat up a little straighter while putting his seatbelt on. He poked at the rugby ball again, before turning to the forward.
"Hey, William?"
"Yeah?"
"You’ve.. dated a lot of girls, haven’t you?"
"I guess. Most were just talking stages."
"What?"
"Like, I talked to them, but I never committed to that."
"That’s a thing?"
"Yeah."
"That sounds like an asshole move."
"Euuh.." William winced. "Things just.. don’t work out, sometimes."
He set up the GPS back to the dorms, before remembering Ganji’s question.
"Why are you asking?"
"I don’t know what to do. I haven’t been in a committed relationship before. I haven’t even had something like this before."
"Because of your mom?"
"Partially. It’s also.. everyone not liking me, and all."
William shook his head. He got back on the road, resting his arm on the center console.
"Ganji, important things to know about girls is that they think a lot about everything. They know stuff. They wanna hear what you think about them, too.
"What do I do?"
"Be super nice and careful with her. Tell her how pretty she is. Ask how her day’s going. They like a nice guy. And a funny one, too. Girls are attracted to handsome guys with good personality." He tapped the side of his head.
"I don’t think I have that."
"Yeah you do. The hell are you talking about?" William knocked on Ganji’s head. "You’ve got a lot of good traits. You’re handsome, smart, athletic, and funny."
"Is that really enough, though? I don’t really know how to flirt or anything. What if I say something stupid and she ditches me?"
"Flirting’s easy." William shrugged. He stopped at a red light.
"You do it all the time, that’s why." Ganji rolled his eyes as he looked away.
William raised an eyebrow. He leaned over to Ganji, lifting a hand to his jaw and turning his head to face him. The forward tilted his head down, locking eyes with him.
"Then take notes from me."
"Ah. Yeah.."
William broke eye contact once to glimpse down at Ganji’s mouth. The batter had a small split on his lip that he never noticed before. It looked like another healed scar, like the other ones. The way they slighted parted as he stared in awe at William— he was tempted, but he let go of him and put his hands back on the steering wheel.
Ganji felt dizzy. He barely did anything, but he was so hypnotized by his eyes. William did that specific look again. Why did it work every time?
"You’re planning on dating that girl?"
"I.. hope so."
"Huh." William nodded. "Okay, that’s good for you."
"Why?" Ganji mused. "Are you jealous?"
"Nice try." He smirked.
"Yeah, okay." He groaned. "I hope I don’t fuck up or anything."
"There’s no way."
"You have way too much faith in me, you know? Might be the only person who actually cares."
"And I’m happy to be that person."
"Hmph."
Ganji scrolled on his phone. He was looking through people’s posts online, until he saw a photo of.. him. His heart dropped when he saw it— he didn’t know who took it, but his mind immediately went to the worst case scenario, and he was worried that—
Oh.
The batter took a second to realize that it was taken today. When they were at the cafe. William posted a picture of him when he wasn’t aware. Ganji hesitantly checked the post, scrolling down at the comments. He was, more or less, shocked to see what people said about him. William peered over at his phone.
"You finally saw the post?"
"When did you take this?"
"Today. At the cafe. That was before you yelled at me for being on my phone."
"Why did so many people like it?" Ganji pointed at the comments below. "And what’s with the comments? Are these bots? Why does this one say—"
"Don’t read that." He covered Ganji’s screen. "And don’t worry. There’s a lot of good comments. See, you’re a ladies man! Everyone thinks you’re cute." William scrolled and pointed.
Ganji chewed on the inside of his cheek. He liked the post, turning his phone off.
"William?"
"What’s up?"
"Have you had a relationship that really worked out before?"
"Ganji.. I.. technically, none of them did."
"How about this— have you had a relationship that you still wish lasted a little longer?"
William drummed his fingers against the wheel again. He hummed, looking up at the car roof. Ganji rolled his eyes. Did he really date that many people?
"Honestly? Shit, now that I think about it, none of them really stood out to me."
"How come?"
The forward rubbed his neck. Would Ganji look at him any differently if he tried to say that he had relationship problems too? In his point of view, he was never interested in someone long enough to commit to them. Half the time, they didn’t even want to be loved by him, and they wanted something else.
Over time, he just became accustomed to it and only had temporary relationships afterwards. People might’ve liked him, but nobody ever loved him.
"That’s what time does to a relationship."
That was his answer. Simple, straightforward— it was the truth, but not the entire truth. It would still satisfy Ganji.
"Why do you still talk to girls, then? To keep yourself busy?"
"Huh?"
"Wouldn’t it be good to take a break and find someone that really loves you? I can’t help but imagine how tired you’d be after being with so many people."
"God, Ganji, are you calling me a whore?"
"What? No!"
"I’m kidding." William laughed. Ganji furrowed his brows. He propped his elbow on the center console, mirroring the forward.
"I’m serious, though.. you should take care of yourself instead of getting caught up in so many of these.. things."
"I’m glad you’re looking out for me." William patted his arm. "I’ve been through it all, though."
He pulled into the dorm’s parking lot, sighing. Ganji’s hand lingered over his seatbelt, staring at William with worried eyes. The forward noticed. He smiled, removing his seatbelt.
"I’ll be okay."
"You’re a shitty liar, William Ellis."
"Woah." William widened his eyes.
They both got out of the car at the same time, standing on opposite sides and looking at each other from over the car roof. Ganji scratched his neck, walking over to William to follow him inside.
"Listen, dude.. I know you’ve got, like— a lot more experience than me, but anyone with half a brain could see that what you’re doing is just draining."
William squinted, unsure of whether of not he was being criticized. It wasn’t anyone’s business but his about how fucked up his love life was. He was going to take it personally, but with how downcast Ganji seemed, he swallowed his words down.
"Maybe nothing works out because you’re rushing into new relationships so fast. I think you should, uhm.. take it slow? Something like that."
"No, I get what you mean."
"If you start working on yourself first, then things will get better."
William nodded. Ganji really had a point— he never felt satisfied in any of his relationships because there was so much intimacy, yet a lack of one at the same time. What he said about William craving for a constant source of attention to keep himself busy might have been true.
"I guess so." The forward entered the dormitories, and he threw an arm around the batter’s shoulders. "Here, I’ll promise you this. If it doesn’t work out with Maeve, I’ll take your advice and start focusing on myself."
"Promise? Swear on your life."
"I swear on my life."
"I believe you."
William smiled, squeezing him a little tighter with his arm around his neck.
"Let’s go say hi to Cricket."
Chapter 3: Never a Winner
Summary:
Ganji talks to Norton about their problem, and it doesn’t go smoothly. William accompanies Ganji as he finally moves forward with switching rooms. The batter has a game to win for his school, but he’s more upset over something else.
Chapter Text
For the next few days, Ganji had a lot on his mind. He’d think about a lot of things— everything, all at once. He would think about his cricket practice. He’d think about his classes. He’d think about Norton, and consider talking to him about changing his habits. He’d think about switching rooms for his own comfort. He’d think about William and Maeve, or Evelyn, or his family!-
Oh, for fuck’s sake, his brain was swelling. It hurt to just imagine anything at all. Sometimes it excited him, or it overwhelmed him. Ganji felt like his life could go somewhere now that he had a friend to talk to.
William didn’t talk to him that much during the weekdays. They’d exchange a few messages, but never full conversations.
(Unless it was late at night and William nagged Ganji enough to cure his boredom.)
The forward found him at every cricket practice, encouraging him to do his best. With an upcoming game, Ganji really needed to give it his all. Before William, his swings felt sluggish and overall lacked the right amount of force to send the ball flying.
With the confidence William offered him, Ganji could see that his swings were getting better by each day. His coach complimented his form and exceptional performance more— the praise he didn’t receive so often from him made him feel elated. William’s thumbs up made him smile harder after every successful hit.
After practice on Wednesday, Ganji was sweating and burning up. The weather was unusually hot today, and he forgot to bring his water bottle with him. As his teammates were heading out in their separate directions, he was packing up his stuff to return to the dorms.
The batter grabbed the hem of his shirt to try and pat off the sweat on his face. He let out an exasperated groan, hanging his head over his bag.
I’ll fucking pass out in this heat. Goddammit, it was pretty cold just a few days ago..
Slinging one side of his bag over his back, Ganji tried to stand up straight. His legs were shaking so badly, and every part of his muscles seemed to explode with pain if he moved too much. He stood in one place, continuing to pat at his forehead with his shirt.
"Hey, Ganji."
The batter perked his head up curiously. Turning to look over his shoulder, the miserable, exhausted look on his face vanished immediately. Ganji grinned widely upon seeing who it was.
"William, you’re late." Ganji laughed. "That’s not like you."
He wished he could walk to William, but his legs refused to budge. Ganji took one look at him and almost collapsed to the ground— he wasn’t the only person who was suffering from the heat. The forward looked like he just came right out of practice, carrying his gear and bag around while drenched in glistening sweat.
"So you do pay attention to me?" William teased in return.
He couldn’t help but admire how it made his heart ache at the sight of a guy with the prettiest smile in the world. Ganji’s teeth were remarkably perfect, and his eyes had this gentle, sweet gaze when they crinkled just the smallest amount. He couldn’t erase it from his mind. William loved to see it every time they met.
And to know that his presence was enough to make him happy, he held it close to his heart.
"How could I not? I mean, it was too damn quiet today. I never saw you show up to watch practice."
"Sorry. I was busy with rugby practice."
"It’s fine." Ganji nodded. He shifted his arm to keep his bag from slipping, inhaling sharply when he felt his muscles tighten. The batter pressed his hand into his arm to massage the pain away.
"Was practice pretty bad today? You look horrible. Here. I got this for you." William rummaged around in his bag for awhile, before pulling out a cold Gatorade. He handed it to Ganji, who shook his head with a grateful smile.
"You’re the best." The batter opened it hastily, chugging it down his throat. He wiped his mouth, putting the cap back on the drink. It was definitely more refreshing than he thought.. yet, he was more shy about William going out of his way to take care of him. Ganji offered the Gatorade to him in return.
"You want some?"
"Sure."
William snatched the bottle from Ganji. He took a quick drink, closing it and tossing it back to him. The batter slipped it in his bag, made his way to him, and they finally started heading to the locker rooms together. William could hear Ganji breathing hard as they walked— he sounded like he was in pain with every gasp, and his muscles were shaking more than usual.
He put a hand on his shoulder, in which the shorter guy flinched from initial surprise. Ganji lifted his eyes to find William’s, and he seemed perplexed.
"What?"
"Are you alright?"
"Pfft, yeah. Practice is rough.. we got a game coming up, so we gotta do the best we can." Ganji laughed it off. "We do stuff like this all the time, William. It’s okay."
Ganji stopped shivering when William touched his shoulder. His palms were scalding, and he could feel the heat passing from his hand to his shoulder. His fingers were so firm on him— it almost felt like they fit perfectly right into the crook of his neck.
"If you say so. But your muscles are seriously tight, man." William gently kneaded his palm into his shoulder. "Should go back to your room and sleep for a bit."
"Mmh.." Ganji groaned as he rolled his neck, humming at the temporary relief from William pressing his hands into his back. He wondered if he minded how terribly sweaty and warm he was— the humidity of the air made him feel sticky and uncomfortable, so he couldn’t imagine that the forward was feeling any better.
He didn’t respond to William’s comment about going to his room, because on top of everything he was worried about this week, his problem with Norton bothered him the most. They ignored each other since Ganji last came back from William’s dorm, so he never had a chance to address anything.
Seeing the guy just made his blood boil. Ganji put his hand over his forehead.
"What’s that for?" William leaned on the batter’s shoulder. "Oh, no way.. did Norton do something again? You can sleep in my dorm tonight if you need to."
"No, I won’t need to. Though, seeing Cricket would be nice." The curly haired guy closed his eyes in frustration. "Where the hell do I even start?"
"Tell me more."
"I haven’t talked to Norton at all since I got back from your dorm Saturday. We barely acknowledge each other when we’re in the same room. Most of the time, at least one of us is out of the dorm, somewhere else. I don’t even think he’d care if I just left, William."
"I think now is a good time to ask to switch rooms, then. Come be my roommate."
"I’m still not sure. I think I should give him one last chance before I move."
"Are you giving excuses to not room with me?"
"Maybe."
"Asshole."
"It’s your fault." Ganji shrugged.
William slowly reached his arm over Ganji’s shoulder, waiting to see if he’d swat him off. The batter let him hug him, and he did so appreciatively. Their heads bumped together from how eagerly William embraced him, and Ganji laughed at his idiotic expression.
"God, you smell like shit." He complained.
"Says you." William tugged at Ganji’s headband, releasing it to let it fling right into his eyes.
The forward had to restrain the batter so he wouldn’t kill him right where he was standing. With the sound of their fits of laughter, they finally made it to the locker rooms to freshen up. They entered the building together, dropping their bags to the ground and collapsing onto the benches to rest. Ganji hunched over with his hands clasped together, while William leaned his head back and stretched his arms out.
"I’m so tired."
"Of Norton, or from practice?"
"Both." Ganji pulled his headband off, throwing it on top of his bag. "Norton’s just always getting on my nerves. Today is a chore day, so I’m not looking forward to that."
"If I hear yelling from another room, should I assume it’s you?"
"Maybe."
"Do you, like— need me to come with you for emotional support or something?"
"He’s too much of a fucking pussy to do anything. It’s fine." Ganji bit his nails. "Plus, I’m not petty like him. Why should I risk my career by fighting with him?"
"If it gets out of hand, you can call me."
"Jeez, I got it under control, Ellis. I’m perfectly capable of handling these kinds of situations." Ganji stood up, stretching his sore body.
William raised an eyebrow at him. The skepticism in his eyes displeased the batter. The longer he felt his stare on him, the more he shifted around in place. A teasing laugh came from under William’s breath before he got up too.
"We’ll see about that." The taller guy ruffled his curls, kneeling down to grab his bag. "I’m gonna shower and change. If you wanna walk back to the dormitories together, that’s cool with me."
"Yeah. I don’t mind that at all."
"Sweet."
Ganji enjoyed the private showers in the school locker rooms. He felt much better after being able to clean himself off and remove that dirty, sweaty feeling from his back. His shower was a little shorter than William’s, since by the time he was out, he could still hear the water running from his stall.
Ganji got dressed and dried his hair with his towel. He had a maroon tank top with black shorts, with black compression armbands to help cover his scars. The batter was still fixing his appearance in the mirror, adjusting his medallion and running his fingers through his hair. He hardly noticed the fact that William was already done showering.
"Are you in here, Ganji?" The forward called out.
"I’m still here." He responded blankly.
"Do you have a spare towel? I forgot mine."
"I think so."
He stepped away from the mirror to search his bag, pulling out an extra towel. Ganji rose up and looked around for William. He expected him to still be in his shower, but as he swiveled around—
"Hey, thanks." William smiled, looking down at him.
Ganji stared at him with empty eyes, glancing down. It looked like he just snuck out of the shower to creep up on him when he wasn’t aware of it. Water dripped from his locs, and it beaded on his skin. The locker room suddenly felt a lot hotter than the temperature outside.
He had a sudden realization of how attractive the forward really was. He wanted to get it out of his head. He wasn’t attracted to men, but god, William was fine as hell, he might consider himself blessed to be in the presence of a man like him.
The batter repeatedly glanced over at William’s face and his body, before turning his eyes away with a flushed look. He threw the towel into the forward’s face and walked back to his locker.
"It wouldn’t kill you to put some clothes on." He mumbled quietly, turning the dial on his lock to open it and put his stuff away. Ganji tried his best not to think about it any longer.
"I didn’t have a towel, you smartass. Plus, you know it’s just us in here, right?" William took the towel in his hands, patting his face. He laughed at the batter, cowering in front of his locker to hide his shame.
"I get it."
"Don’t feel insecure, Ganji," the forward replied as he dried himself off, "I won’t judge you if you—"
The batter froze. He slammed his locker shut, rattling the contents inside. Ganji stared him dead in the eyes, furrowing his brows.
"William Webb Ellis, I will shove your dead body into this locker."
"Really? What happened to not being petty enough to start a fight? Even so, I’d like to see you try."
"You ass! Just go hurry and change so we can leave!"
"Seriously? You don’t wanna stall so you can avoid seeing Norton?" William shook his head, going to his locker to put his clothes on. Ganji sat down on the bench, scratching his neck.
"I think the sooner I can bring it up, the faster I’ll make up my mind."
"Hope you get that figured out." William looked at his phone, running his fingers through his locs. He smiled at his screen— Ganji knew what he was looking at, and it reminded him of the forward’s plans this week. He wasn’t sure if it was fine to ask, so he toyed with his medallion while waiting for the other athlete to finish up.
"How’s Maeve?"
"Hm? Maeve?" William blushed. "She’s awesome, dude. I mean, she plays volleyball, she’s really smart, she plays violin, and she’s fine. I love talking to her. Maeve gets me, and I feel like I could just talk to her all day sometimes.."
William rambled on, but Ganji tuned him out halfway through his tangent. So, that’s why he’s been messaging me less. He rolled his eyes. Ganji himself had talked to Evelyn a fair amount of times, but he always made room for William too.
"I was just talking to her on the phone yesterday, and she was telling me about some—"
"Don’t you guys have a date this week?" Ganji cut him off.
"Huh? Hey, how do you know about that?"
"I was.. you know, right there with you." The batter tilted his head down, looking up.
"Oh. But, yeah, we do. This Saturday."
"I hope that goes well."
"What abo—"
"Are you done changing? Let’s go back to the dorms. I’m busy."
William scrunched his nose at Ganji interrupting him for the second time. He wasn’t sure what his problem was this time, but he wasn’t in the mood to argue. He narrowed his eyes faintly, taking his stuff with him.
"Yeah. We can go."
Exiting the building together, they stepped foot outside again, smacked in the face with a gust of hot air. Ganji winced and reached for the Gatorade William bought him, both of them sharing small sips between each other. They walked all the way to their dorms, escaping the heat and sluggishly finding their way to the elevator.
(William had suggested taking the stairs, but Ganji refused and dragged him along.)
They pressed the buttons to their floors, patiently waiting as they stood on opposite sides.
Ganji leaned against the wall, scrolling through his phone to pass the time. William cocked his head and quietly checked him out. His arms were well defined, similar to his legs; he was considerably built for a cricket player, but god did he look amazing. He smelled like the ocean, his curls still freshly damp from his shower. His eyes were focused on his phone, and he bit the inside of his cheek in deep concentration.
Ganji didn’t realize that he was being watched until he noticed it in his peripheral vision. He pretended to look distracted, but even he got curious as well. The batter looked up from his phone, catching the forward’s gaze. He gave a sheepish close-lipped smiled, gently lowering his eyebrows.
The sweet appearance of Ganji’s face under the warm lighting made William feel something strange in his chest. His smile was so endearing— it melted his heart like putty, and suddenly, he almost thought he was a little prettier than Maeve. Nothing made him feel as lost as he did in those eyes.
The elevator rang as a signal to tell them they’ve reached their floor. Ganji stepped out, waving off to William before walking down the hallway. He assumed that he would return to his dorm with the elevator, but the forward had other plans. He was mostly concerned about how Norton and Ganji’s interaction would play out— his friend swore he didn’t need his help, but it felt right to look out for him anyway.
William stepped out, staying a fair distance away so Ganji couldn’t catch him. He watched him from behind and followed him to his dorm, staying near the stairwell so he was able to leave if nothing happened.
Ganji unlocked his dorm room and closed the door gently. He heard shuffling and papers from behind him, in which he assumed his roommate was here too.
"Hey, Norton." He called in the friendliest voice he could force out of his mouth.
Norton replied with a gruff sigh. Ganji frowned at his failed attempt at trying to be nice.
"You know what day it is?"
"Wednesday. Why?"
"We gotta do our chores."
"Tch." Norton looked up from his desk with an annoyed look on his face. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Can we save it for later or something? I’m kinda busy."
"You can set aside some time to just get it over with now."
"I already told you, I’m fucking busy."
"Yeah, you’re always busy, every single fucking chore day, ironically. You think I’m not busy either?" Ganji threw his stuff by his bed, exhaling deeply. "You always complain about doing chores. Half the time, I’m the only one who gets shit cleaned around here."
"I do do stuff. You just expect me to do too much."
"Are you fucking serious?"
"Yeah. I did the laundry last time."
"And you somehow screwed that up? You overloaded it, and you just left it in the washer! I was the one that had to get it for you!" Ganji shouted. He clenched his jaw, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I’m not sure how anyone can be this dense, sometimes. You don’t even wash your own dishes."
"Whoever was in the kitchen last should do the dishes. It’s not my responsibility."
"Do you think I’m stupid? No, you always make me do the dishes. You won’t even wash a spoon if it was the one thing you used. You always leave the kitchen and never clean it up on purpose."
"Personally, our dorm is pretty clean, so I think having chore days all the time is just exhausting."
"Exhausting for who? You, who gets to sit around like a lazy bitch all day? You, who can’t even cook for yourself?" Ganji threw his hands over his head, grasping his hair between his fingers.
"Apparently, you know how to do everything better than me. When I try doing shit, you get all pissy, just the way you are now. So I just decided to leave everything to you. Go do the chores if you care so much about it, Ganji." Norton took a sip of his energy drink, sighing. "Fuckin’ pain in the ass, man.."
"You are a pain in the ass. This is why no one likes you!"
"Oh? Oh, is that how it is?" Norton got up from his chair, knocking it over in the process.
Ganji tried to keep his distance, sensing that Norton seemed to be hostile. He was walking closer to him. The batter wasn’t aware of the fact that he himself was suddenly feeling anxious. He recognized this aggression in his past— seeing someone approach him with the same malice as before made his muscles weak.
"I meant it. You’re a lazy bitch. You always find a way to make your problems somebody else’s. I can’t believe I had such an incompetent person like you as a roommate."
Ganji pointed an accusing finger to him. Norton grabbed him by his wrist, clenching so tightly that he could have burst the batter’s veins.
"Let me bring you back down to Earth for a second. Just because you’re good at cricket doesn’t mean shit. You’re just as awful as me. People are scared of you too." Norton snapped back. "Everyone knows about the Queen’s Guard, and you aren’t hiding it from anybody."
Ganji snarled at him.
"That was all a fuckin’ rumor!" He protested. "How could I be anything like you? You’re a scumbag. All you do is leech off of me and do nothing in return. You’re greedy and selfish, and I can’t wait another second. I’m going to switch rooms just so I won’t have to see your miserable face ag—"
Without a second to react, the batter was attacked. Norton punched Ganji in the jaw. He clenched his fists, stopping himself from fighting back. He couldn’t. He had no choice— his future was Oletus, and he couldn’t sacrifice it to save his dignity. No, he couldn’t disappoint William, either.
Ganji was dazed from the hit. His vision blurred, and his mouth tasted like something metallic. Norton grabbed his neck and shoved him against a wall, pinning him against it. The hand on his throat tightened, and he let out a small pained breath.
"Shut your fucking mouth." Norton growled. "Go on. Leave. Try to leave. You can blame me for being a jerk, but you’re not exactly an angel yourself. If you tell anyone about this, I’ll get you kicked out of Oletus without a second thought."
Norton punched him in the face again. It didn’t hurt as badly as the first one did. Ganji lifted his chin up, grimacing with a bleeding lip.
"Your worthless mother would be disappointed to see what a failure of a son she raised. You’re doing her a favor by leaving her." Norton hissed.
"You’re a coward."
"You son of a bitch."
"Get off of me!"
Norton choked him with more pressure. Ganji could feel the tightness in his neck, the panging in his head— and he swallowed hard, as Norton raised his hand— how could he let this happen to himself?— just as he could feel himself getting dizzier—
the door opened.
They both paused in fear, snapping their heads towards the person in their room. A looming figure waited at the doorway.
"Get off of him. Now."
Ganji widened his eyes upon hearing his voice. He gasped when Norton stopped choking him— he coughed wildly, trying to gasp for air. The guy swore under his breath, backing off. A hand took Ganji by his arm, pulling him backwards. The batter knew who it was— who else could it be?— but he was still at a loss for words. He forgot to lock the door. How did William come here so quickly? How long was he listening for?
William forced him out of the dorm, shutting the door behind them. He made sure to give Norton a warning glare, if he dared to make any snide comments as they left. The forward pulled Ganji to the stairwell. Ganji saw he still had his duffel bag with him. He must have known what would’ve happened.. did he stay behind for that reason?
"What are you doing here?" Ganji panted, still trying to catch his breath.
"I told you I should’ve come with you." William opened the door leading to the stairs, and they stopped for a minute. William pulled Ganji in front of him to observe his condition.
He didn’t look too badly injured. His neck was faintly red from Norton’s hands, and his lip was bleeding. His jaw was red as well, which meant that a couple of blows must have been exchanged.
"Did you fight back?" William grabbed Ganji’s wrist. He felt guilty at how he flinched, but he checked his knuckles.
"No." Ganji whispered weakly. "You know I couldn’t. You of all people should understand why."
"I know. I know." William pressed his thumb into the center of Ganji’s palm. "But how could you not?"
"I don’t wanna lose everything over something like this." The batter wet his lips, briefly sliding his tongue over the blood on his mouth. "It wasn’t worth it."
"I’m glad you’re more rational than he is. You alright?"
"I’m fine."
"You swear?"
"I swear."
"Let’s go report this. Come on."
"No!"
Ganji pulled William back. The forward looked astonished to see his panicked reaction.
"No, no, please. It’s not worth it, Ellis."
"What’s wrong?"
"Please." Ganji’s voice cracked. He grabbed William’s arm with both of his hands. "Just let go of it. Don’t bother. Just take me to your dorm."
The forward couldn’t read what was going on in his mind. Ganji’s face was so indescribably sad— he had his head lowered to hide himself from William’s gaze, and he was shaking uncontrollably. What had really happened in there that made him feel so horrible?
"If you say so.”
Ganji’s fingers loosely slipped away from his arm. William wanted to grab his hand so badly. There was thick tension in the air, and all he could do was walk in silence to give the batter time to collect his thoughts. He led him to his room, opening the door for Ganji to enter first. Placing his hand on his back to softly nudge him forward, he followed and locked the door.
Cricket came to sneak up on Ganji, leaping onto his shoes when he stepped inside. The batter blinked slowly, picking up the kitten. He sat down on William’s bed with her in his lap, playing with her fur between his fingers. William came and sat next to him, figuring that he needed the company.
Cricket meowed and crawled from Ganji’s thigh over to William’s. The shorter guy sighed shakily, petting her soft fur as she climbed into her owner’s hands.
"How much did you hear?" He turned to William.
"What?"
"You were eavesdropping, weren’t you?"
"Maybe. I don’t know." The forward shrugged.
"Just admit it."
"Yeah, okay, you caught me. I was listening. It was hard to hear, but there was a lot of yelling. What happened in there?"
"I just told him to help me with chores and then he started making excuses again." He rested his hands on his shorts, slowly clutching them in his sweaty palms. "I guess I had so much pent up anger that I lashed out at him. Then the damn brute just.."
Ganji touched his jaw, trailing his hand down to his neck.
"I fucking hate him."
"Do you need an ice pack for your jaw?"
"I think I’ll be okay."
"No, Ganji. I’ll get one."
William got up and crouched down as he opened a mini freezer. Pulling a small gel ice pack, he sat back down next to Ganji.
"You should lay down and sleep."
"How could I sleep after that?" Ganji tried to smile, but the pain in his jaw shot through his entire face. He let out a strained gasp, wincing.
"Lay down, man."
William reached his hands out. Ganji backed away instinctively, but the forward touched his shoulders and pushed him down onto his pillow. He sank into it with ease, but he was so dumbfounded by how cautiously and thoughtfully William handled him.
He carefully cupped the batter’s face with one hand, touching the gel pack to his injury. William made him hold it up himself as he climbed off the bed. He leaned down to pick up Cricket like a crane, plopping her right onto Ganji’s chest. She marched towards his face, licking the bottom of his chin.
Ganji rubbed the back of her ears, blushing at how tenderly William was watching him. His eyes were big and full of interest— he hadn’t asked for the guy to help him out, but knowing that he stayed back because he was thinking about him made his heart race a little faster. Cricket seemed to notice it first when she pawed his chest and started meowing in his face.
"Thank you, William." He murmured quietly.
"Of course, man. If I didn’t know any better, I’d beat the hell out of that dude right now." William sighed. "But, of course, a guy like me has a reputation to worry about."
"I’m not sure why you stayed behind and decided to follow me. But I’m really glad you did." Ganji kissed Cricket on the head while scratching her, earning a few happy purrs. "You have a beautiful heart."
William short-circuited when he heard it coming from him.
Upon hearing those words, suddenly, everything around him felt brighter. Ganji’s face was sincere, and he was enamored by those lucent eyes again.
The forward laughed and acted calmly in response, crossing his arms.
"Thanks." He grinned.
Ganji studied his features with half-lidded eyes, glancing up and down. William was admirable. He knew that if he had him in good hands, then maybe he and Maeve would do even better. That girl had the best guy to look out for her— he felt strange about it, but at some point, he’d have to accept that William had other priorities besides him. Ganji had Evelyn, anyway.
"Maeve’s lucky."
"How come?"
"She has you. She’s lucky." He repeated again.
"You have me too." William sat down on the edge of the bed. "I can say the same for your girl. She’ll be pleased to see what a good guy you are."
"You really think so?"
"Totally. That’s what I think of you. You’re great."
He was more than great. He was brilliant. He wasn’t perfect, but maybe that’s what made him stand out to William. The forward caught the batter smile momentarily, throwing his head back into beautiful laughter. William saw the knitted brows that indicated that it caused him discomfort to smile, but he did it without a second thought.
Ganji’s jaw was killing him. But hearing the praise made him giddy, and the excitement in his chest was too much to keep bottled up inside of him. He giggled even harder when Cricket licked his neck, sensitive to the feeling of her sandpaper tongue. It was sweet. He felt ecstatic, lying in William’s bed, accompanied by him and his cat.
Eventually, William started snickering too. They wheezed together, both amused by the sound of the other person’s loud and obnoxious voice while they laughed over nothing.
Did it always feel this good to be appreciated? He wasn’t sure before. At least he knew now.
They finally quieted down, and William turned to Ganji.
"So, when are you talking to the RA?"
"I’ll do it today, I guess. Better do it fast before that shitbag thinks about destroying my stuff, right?" Ganji groaned as he tried to sit up. Cricket yelped and dug her tiny claws into his shirt, clinging onto the fabric. William plucked her off and rested her on the ground.
"I’ll go with you."
"No, William, it’s— huh?- Hey—!" Ganji shivered when William grabbed his hand and pulled him up. He kept the gel ice pack pressed to his jaw, frowning at the forward.
"No, you don’t have a choice. I’m going with you."
"Fine," Ganji surrendered, "but I can’t promise you that I’ll be able to move in immediately. Unless some miracle happens, and they’ll let me get through the whole process quickly, then.. yeah."
"No worries. I’ll be waiting for you either way, Ganji."
"Thanks."
"Let’s go, then."
It was awkward for Ganji to talk to the RA and explain that he wanted to switch dorms because he had trouble with his current roommate. He intentionally left out what their other arguments were about, but he simply put it as "having issues that weren’t being addressed or resolved."
William waited behind him for emotional support. He would playfully run his fingers along Ganji’s back muscles, smiling when the batter shivered or squirmed at the touch. He glared at him a couple times mid-conversation, but he was focused on talking to the RA the whole time.
He pretended not to know what parts he did hear from Ganji and Norton’s argument. When he was outside of their room, he could hear them screaming and throwing insults at each other. Something that crawled under his skin was the hatred in Norton’s voice as he mentioned the Queen’s Guard incident, and Ganji’s mother.
Knowing the batter, those two topics were sensitive to him. If William recalled correctly, when the Queen’s Guard burned down, everyone was injured or killed except for Ganji. He didn’t know anything more than that. He also knew that Ganji loved his mother a lot. She was a hard-working woman, as he said himself.
It’d make sense why he almost broke down at the stairwell. Norton was horrible for bringing those things up. Thinking about Ganji’s mournful look when William pulled him out of that room, it made the forward’s heart ache for him.
The woman Ganji was talking to stepped away to go and grab something. He tilted his head up to make eye contact with William.
"Thanks for being so patient."
"Yeah. Your jaw feeling any better?" William poked his cheek.
"Mmph. Stop that," Ganji closed his eyes, pushing William’s hand away. "It still hurts, but not as much."
"It’d kinda suck if Norton scarred your face."
"Why? Because I have enough already?"
"What? No. Because—" William pursed his lips, cutting himself off. ".. nevermind."
"Ah? What is it? Just say it." Ganji turned around to face him. He reached his hand up and flicked William in the forehead."You can never make up your mind."
"That’s—"
Ganji heard footsteps approaching him from behind, and he whirled around. He was tense at first, yet soon relaxed again when he saw it was just the RA. The batter glanced at William, before going to continue his conversation with the woman.
William got on his phone and checked his messages, finding a new notification from Maeve. Every time he saw it, it reminded him that he’d be able to see her in three days. He took a seat while waiting for Ganji, hurrying to respond to her.
Ganji was busy nodding and discussing what to do with his current situation. He felt William’s presence behind him disappear all of a sudden— checking over his shoulder, he found him hunched over his phone. The RA’s voice was eventually tuned out as he zoned out and stared at his friend.
"Hello? Did you get that, sir?" The woman peered over.
"Huh?" Ganji quickly returned his attention to her, his face subtly turning red. "Sorry. Could you repeat that?"
"Yes, no problem. As I was saying, you can fill out a request form, and we’ll send you a confirmation email sometime during the week. Once you receive that, you’ll be free to move into your new dorm on the following day."
"Thank you so much." Ganji nodded in gratitude. He parted ways, striding towards William. Yanking him by the collar of his shirt, he started dragging him back to the dorm.
William followed him obediently, instantly sliding his phone in his pocket. He trailed after Ganji like a puppy, and the shorter guy tried his best not to grin.
"Did you hear that, William?"
"Huh?"
"I might be able to move in this week."
"Really?" William’s eyes lit up.
"Yep."
"Oh, fuck yeah!"
Ganji chuckled at his sudden reaction. He was already thinking about how they’d spend more time together— he could see him every morning, every night. Their conversations would be endless. William would be a face that he would actually enjoy waking up to.
"I’m gonna file a request tonight. I’ll—"
"Message me when you get the confirmation email. I wanna help you move in."
".. just what I was about to say."
"Shit, this is amazing!"
Ganji’s hand lost its grip on William’s shirt. The forward pulled his arms around his neck, hugging him from behind. Astounded by the unexpected gesture, he tripped backwards into the embrace.
"You’re really that excited to have me be your roommate?"
"Obviously. It’s lonely sometimes."
"What’s Cricket there for, then?"
"She gets lonely too."
"I see," he sighed. "I’ll be happy to see you two soon."
"Don’t take too long, Gupta."
Norton wasn’t in the dorm when Ganji got back. He was shaking just by holding his hand over the door handle alone, but once he unlocked it and peeped inside. It was dark, and everything was silent. The batter flipped the light switch, bracing himself— but nothing came.
Ganji sat down at his desk, turning his laptop on. The process for filling out a request form wasn’t as complicated as he thought. Eventually, he filled out all the information in a few minutes, and he stared mindlessly at the submitted information. Leaning back in his chair, he rested the back of his hand over his burning forehead.
His phone vibrated in his hand, with a call from William. Ganji answered after a few seconds of thinking what he would’ve wanted.
"Hello?"
"Gaaanji.."
"Yeah?"
"Wanna come sleep in my dorm tonight?"
"You really wanna get used to being in the same room as me, huh?" Ganji laughed, throwing his head back and swirling around in his chair. "Norton’s not here tonight. Don’t know where he ran off to. Hopefully he’s gone long enough for me to pack my shit and leave."
"Just making sure. I don’t want you to get suffocated in your sleep or something."
"He doesn’t have the balls. That’s a bit far."
"Are you sure you don’t wanna come over?" William mused. "Cricket misses you."
"Is it just Cricket that misses me? Why are you begging me to come to your room so badly?"
"Ah, goddammit. I miss you too, man. Come hang with me."
"No, William. I’ll be busy."
"Please?"
"No."
Ganji’s eye twitched at the loud wail that came from the phone. He hung up on William, setting it down on his desk.
He would just need to wait sometime this week..
On Friday, Ganji had his cricket game. William came (like he always did) to watch him play, and needless to say, he was impressed by how graceful he was in a real match.
The forward caught a few small glimpses of his narrowed eyes underneath his helmet, scanning the field, or searching the crowd. William whistled every time Ganji wasn’t in the middle of batting to catch his attention. It worked every time, and it brought the cutest smile to his face when they locked eyes.
Ganji had incredible reflexes when he batted. William could just barely keep up with the ball when the bowler swung it at such a frighteningly fast pace— yet the batter swung his cricket bat with ease with each throw, precisely finding the exact moment the ball would collide with his bat.
Seeing the ball fly into the air was breathtaking for William. He had seen Ganji play before, but his capability and talent always knocked his socks off, like he was watching cricket for the first time. With a weapon like him on the team, their opponents had no chance of winning.
William had eyes for him only. Whether or not he was batting, the forward was captivated by his character, and how he glowed in the sweltering sun after taking his helmet off. The Oletus uniform showed off his arms, a sliver of his biceps visible to the crowd between his compression sleeves.
Despite looking so good, he pitied the batter’s condition. It was hot today, so being layered in pads and whatnot must have pushed Ganji over the edge. Yet apparently, even hot temperatures weren’t enough to hold him back.
It was a close game, but Ganji’s team won in the end. The stands were cheering wildly, and William heard faint murmurs about Ganji Gupta from other people.
".. he’s good.."
".. is he the kid?.."
".. I heard he’s insane."
".. I think that’s him."
Biting his tongue so he wouldn’t jump into the middle of a conversation so carelessly, he left the stands to go look for Ganji in the dressing rooms.
After a bit of wandering around, as he was turning a corner, he crashed into someone shorter than him.
"Oh— my bad."
They had something tough on their head, and William didn’t recognize it until he opened his eyes. The guy was dizzy and wobbled on his feet, and he regained balance quickly. When he lifted his head, Ganji’s mouth hung wide open when he saw William in front of him. His hands scrambled to take his helmet off, revealing his face, red and sweaty from the heat.
"Hey, Ellis?" Ganji grinned. He fixed his bag over his shoulder. "I was looking for you."
"Gupta, you were.. oh my god, that was fucking crazy! You carried your team!" William cheered.
He crushed the cricketer in a bear hug, making him drop his helmet. Ganji couldn’t hold back his bashful fits of laughter, and he let the forward do as he pleased as he spun him around energetically.
His legs were so ridiculously weak from the game. He put all his energy into playing the best he could, to at least turn everyone’s eyes away from his past and towards his current feats. Even if he tried this hard, he couldn’t escape the rumors wherever he went. But the only person who seemed like they didn’t care was William.
How sweet it was to be oblivious to everyone around you.
William let go of him to give him room to stand, but Ganji grabbed onto his arm before he could fall onto the ground. He understood why, and offered a hand around his waist for support.
"Where are you headed now?" William nudged the batter.
".. man, I just need to take a shower. I’m gonna melt underneath all this gear."
"Do you need me to drive you back?"
Ganji looked around cautiously, leaning his head closer to William’s ear and motioning for him to listen. The forward bent his neck down to be level with him.
"I’m supposed to be on the bus right now. Some shit about a celebration for winning the game. But I don’t care about that."
"Why not? Go have fun, Ganji."
Ganji didn’t respond for a few seconds. He bit the inside of his lip. It wasn’t the fact that he simply didn’t feel like going, it was more like the other cricket players didn’t want him to go. Despite being a good batsman, he knew why they were all avoidant of him.
"It’s okay, William."
"You really don’t want to go?" William led them over to Ganji’s helmet that he dropped earlier. He knelt down and picked it up for him, carrying it in his free arm.
"Not in the mood, I guess. I think it’d be more fun hanging out with you."
William gave him a small squeeze around his body to show his appreciation. His hand felt so secure right on his hip, Ganji’s head felt so hazy from the contact. He could have passed out from the heat at that very moment, if it weren’t for the fact he was too concentrated on staring into William’s eyes.
"You look like you’re gonna collapse, dude. Let’s get to my car. I’ll turn the AC on."
"Oh, please do." Ganji grumbled.
They walked in the torturously hot sun to the parking lot, escaping to William’s car. Ganji missed seeing the black-and-red leather seats, and upon seeing the rugby charm hanging from his mirror, he poked at it to watch it swing.
"You always do that every time you get in my car." William snickered, sliding into the driver’s seat. He tossed Ganji’s helmet into his arms.
"I can’t help it." The batter dropped his bag and helmet below his feet.
The cold air rushing into the car made them both sigh. The two athletes sat still for a few minutes to cool off, occasionally peeking out and watching people leaving the cricket grounds. William heard a ping from his messages, lifting his phone to see who it was.
M: Our cricket team’s amazing.
W: You were at the game?
M: Yeah, with my friends. Was that Ganji batting?
William smiled proudly.
W: That was him.
M: He’s good.
W: Isn’t he awesome?
"Ganji, c’mere."
"What?"
William grabbed Ganji by the collar of his uniform. The batter made a confused hum as he was pulled towards him, and a camera was quickly pointed to his face. He stared into the lens of William’s phone, blushing while knitting his brows and glancing away.
"What are you doing?"
"Sending a picture of you to Maeve."
"Stop.."
"She said you were pretty good today."
Ganji’s face flushed from the compliment. He made an attempt to try and conceal his face with his hand, but William captured a photo in time. Saving the photo for himself, he forwarded it to the girl, letting go of Ganji’s uniform.
M: Aw. You guys are together right now?
W: Yeah. He wanted a ride back.
M: I was wondering if you wanted to go out somewhere afterwards. To celebrate, yeah?
W: Oh. Give me a second, then.
"What did she say?" Ganji leaned over William’s shoulder.
"She wants to hang out after I drive you back. Is that alright with you?"
"Yeah." The batter smiled. "Go ahead."
Seriously? Ganji thought as he slipped his cricket gloves off. I guess it’s okay. I’m tired, anyway. I’ll take a nap or something when I get back.
"Have fun, okay?" He whispered, shortly after.
William rested one hand on his steering wheel, looking Ganji up and down. He felt like the response was.. different. It could have been that the guy was tired, but it was too dry coming from him. There was no opportunity for him to tease Ganji for being an insecure girlfriend this time— he was almost disappointed.
"You be safe." William responded.
After William dropped him off at his dorms, he returned to his room, where Norton was (once again) nowhere to be found. Ganji stood at the door with all of his stuff in his hands, dropping his cricket bag to the ground.
The batter threw his helmet, ripping his cricket gloves off and chucking them against the wall. He tore his shoes off just as messily, removing his leg pads with shaking hands. The inexpressible anger that coarsed through his veins made him feel immensely sick to his stomach.
He was a winner. He was always the winner. All he did for this stupid school was carry their cricket players to victory, before being discarded until their next match. Ganji didn’t feel like he was worth recognizing. So, was he going too far by being upset with William leaving to celebrate his victory with someone else? Had the implication in the words "it’d be more fun hanging out with you” fly over his head?
Was he really still winning anymore? Ganji would be more satisfied with a loss than a win that he couldn’t be proud of. It was like this since the day he moved to Britain, an endless cycle of being used and lied to for anyone else’s entertainment.
He was a scapegoat when it came to the cricket team’s faults. But then the second they just barely scrap up a winning score, he doesn’t even get a fraction of the credit. How much longer could he handle staying behind?
Ganji sat down onto his bed, burning hot with frustration. He opened his phone, having no messages from anyone— not Evelyn, not William.
That was just another great thing going on in his life. Evelyn never messaged him on her own, and he always had to shoot a message for a response the following day. He never asked William if it was normal, but it definitely infuriated him when he saw how often Maeve texted him first.
Ganji ran his hand through his hair, tugging it. He had to stop thinking about William. But he hardly left his mind, when everything he did seemed to surround the forward. That only reminded him that he should’ve checked to see if he got a confirmation email from the school about his room request.
Ganji sat down at his desk, rubbing his tired eyes with his hands. He opened his laptop and checked his inbox, sitting a little straighter when he saw the title of the message.
As he skimmed through the email, he sighed. The request had been accepted thankfully. That was one good thing about today. Ganji reached for his phone, shooting William a message about the information.
G: Got the email. I can move in tomorrow.
No, that’s his date with Maeve. Ganji groaned.
G: I can move in Sunday.
He tapped his foot against the floor anxiously, bouncing his phone in his hand. Ganji’s eyes waited for William to mark the message as seen or read, but it stayed delivered for a few seconds. He turned his phone off, annoyed.
The best thing he could do was take a shower and crash into his bed to call it a night. His head was pounding from the game and the loud environment— along with everything else on top of it. Ganji closed his eyes and imagined how nice it’d be to go outside for some fresh air.
He took a quick shower to freshen up, drying his hair and throwing on a quick t-shirt with shorts. Ganji took his phone and earbuds, along with his keys and wallet, heading out the door. Upon stepping out of his room, he saw a figure turning the corner. It looked like Norton accompanied by another person.
He took the stairs down, hurrying to go outside. Ganji’s plan was to take a small walk around campus— maybe even go buy something to eat or drink to celebrate the win for himself. The batter connected his earbuds to his phone and started up his playlist before walking.
William scratched at his neck while he was driving, thinking about his friend. A part of him felt horrible for ditching him; but at the same time, Maeve asked out of the blue. They were both free, so why would he miss the opportunity?
Something about Ganji’s face rubbed off on William in a weird way. Even underneath his curls, that undeniable eyebrow twitch showed that something was wrong. He even left the car without saying "bye" or anything of the sort.
While waiting at a red light, William finally remembered something he said earlier, and he wished he knew sooner.
"I think it’d be more fun hanging out with you."
And he said that while looking at him.
William Ellis, the idiot of the century. He dug his fingers into the steering wheel, debating on slamming his head into it. The forward scolded himself for ignoring such a sweet thing from him, and he realized that he must have hurt his feelings somehow by leaving him alone.
Was it too late to turn the car back? He looked behind him, biting his lip nervously.
Maeve was waiting for him, though. William was on his way to pick her up so they could go where she wanted. He massaged his forehead, looking ahead at the flash of green from the light above.
I’m so sorry, Ganji.
William followed his GPS for a few minutes until he got to Maeve’s destination, where she was patiently waiting and looking around for his car. He honked at her and let out a small huff of laughter when she jumped at the loud sound. She found his eyes, and her lips immediately spread into a wide grin.
"William, hey!" Maeve wandered over to the passenger seat. "How are ya?"
"I’m good."
She looked around the car, turning back to face him.
"Where’s your friend?"
"Ganji? I dropped him off back at his dorm."
The mention of his name coming from his own mouth made William’s heart burn. He imagined he was sitting by himself in his room, trying to keep himself company. Maybe he could have let him inside of the forward’s room, so he at least had the cat to talk to.
"Oh."
"So, where did you wanna go?"
"I was thinkin' ice cream— if you’re in the mood, obviously."
"Sure." William nodded. He knew where the place was. It was where he went with Ganji just about a week ago.
God fucking dammit, Ganji, Ganji, Ganji-! Why was that all he could think about? He was sitting with Maeve now. It wasn’t her that liked to poke at the rugby charm hanging from his mirror, or to take sneaky pictures of his face while he was driving. It wasn’t Maeve he had to playfully wrestle into the car just to have fall asleep on the way back to Oletus.
It was Ganji. That was Ganji’s seat. He had plenty of people sit in his car before him, but ever since he touched that spot, he basically claimed it. Even now, after the cricket game was finished, William could smell faint traces of his sweat and the cologne on his uniform.
William tried to ignore it as best as he could. When they got to the ice cream place, he ordered the exact same thing he got last time— a cheesecake flavored special. Maeve got chocolate. They shared bites of each other’s ice cream, and he liked seeing the smile on her face.
But his stomach churned when he looked at her face and it wasn’t familiar to him. Another knot formed in his chest thinking that it was Ganji’s smile he was getting mesmerized by. Her eyes were bright, but Ganji’s were dark. Everything about her made him think about him, even for an instant.
Maeve offered him a spoonful of ice cream, in which he accepted with no words. She was a nice girl, something he couldn’t deny. She was playful as well, but not in the same sense as..
Get over it, William.
Right.
They finished their dessert and tossed the cups away before getting back in the car. Maeve told him she wanted to go somewhere pretty at night so that she could take pictures of her outfit to post online. William suggested a place that he would probably regret mentioning.
"Peaceful Haven Bridge?"
"What’s that?"
William smiled and shook his head, setting up his GPS again.
"It’s a really pretty bridge that glows red at night. It’d be perfect for photos, if that’s what you like."
"That sounds great! Let’s go, then."
The whole duration of the car ride, he let her play songs on his phone. Their taste in music was drastically different, but some of the songs he actually liked. Maeve was a singer, loud and proud; she had an angelic voice, and she could belt out any lyrics without taking another breath. William thought it was amazing.
She laughed and giggled so sweetly, it was like honey and it made his heart swell. Maeve was gorgeous like nobody else— her face was perfectly clear, she had a surprisingly beautiful nose, and her hair made her look like a goddess. They looked like a perfect pair.
When they got to the bridge, they walked together on the sidewalk to get there. Maeve was, from what William had observed, very extroverted. She loved talking all the time, socializing, and making jokes. William noticed how she seemingly hated silence.
"What did you think about the cricket game today?"
"It was pretty good. I knew we were gonna win. Ganji’s just seriously fucking cracked at that sport." William smiled and blushed.
"Yeah, he had some good plays." Maeve shrugged. "So, what are you wearing tomorrow?"
"I have a tie that matches your dress."
"Oh, really? That’ll be really cute!" She grinned.
"Yeah." He looked up ahead, pointing to the bridge. "See how it looks from here?"
"Oh my gosh!"
Maeve squealed. She searched her bag for her phone, unlocking it and shoving it into William’s hands. He was startled by the suddenness of it, but eventually he understand what she wanted to do. William waited for the girl to find a spot to take a picture, and he followed her around like her own paparazzi.
While taking a photo of her walking down the red bridge, he felt his phone buzz from his pocket. William lowered Maeve’s camera and reached for his phone to look at who sent him a message. He was only able to read Ganji’s name before Maeve called him over and asked him to hurry up. He ended up silencing the notifications to continue following her.
Trailing behind the shorter girl, he swiped through the photos he took of her, glossing over each one for a few seconds. The light and the gentle breeze made her look stunning. One of the pictures was so scarily similar to the one he took of Ganji, and he tried to ignore it.
William wouldn’t say that he had a bad time; in fact, he had a great time. Except that everything he did before was with another person.. was that why he was so uneasy about nothing feeling the same?
They took a few more pictures, even taking one together over the river and the city landscape. Maeve got her phone back as they were heading back to the car, and her cheery mood made William feel somewhat better about going out with her.
"You’re really good at photography, William."
"Am I?"
"Yes! These look so good! Thanks so much." Maeve cupped his jaw and kissed his cheek.
"Anytime."
His fingers were itching to look at his phone. He wanted to check the time, and also what Ganji decided to send him. William was worried sick about him, so much so that he wanted to buy some food for him and swing by his dorm to see if he was doing alright.
When they got in the car, Maeve and William spent a few minutes relaxing and checking their socials before going anywhere. The forward opened his messages app, intrigued by Ganji’s text.
G: Got the email. I can move in tomorrow.
G: I can move in Sunday.
William had to contain his happiness. He was so thrilled about getting to have a roommate for once. Taking a small peek over at Maeve, he replied.
W: I can help you with your stuff
W: Can’t wait to see you soon.
W: You’re not asleep yet, are you?
Ganji finished his walk around the campus, after stopping at a convenience store to get a bottle of oolong tea. It was getting slightly colder outside, so he retreated to the comfort of his dorm to get some sleep. He got ready for bed, brushing his teeth and washing his face. The warm water on his skin merely distracted him for a few seconds before he could feel the heaviness on his heart again.
The batter dimmed his lights and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it on his chair. Ganji crashed onto his bed with his phone, opting for a little bit of doomscrolling before he got to sleep. He checked his socials to see what his classmates were up to.
Ganji’s room felt colder when he stopped upon one familiar face.
He rested his thumb on his screen, staring at William. Maeve had posted a small photo dump on her page, and for some reason, he cared enough to look through every photo. There was a sour taste on his tongue when he recognized the location of all of these pictures.
The ice cream place. The bridge. What kind of cruel coincidence was this?
Ganji’s eyes narrowed spitefully. Why did William bring her there, of all places? It was significant to him because it was one of the few times he really enjoyed going out with someone one-on-one. Clearly, it wasn’t as special to the forward.
They were posing together in a few of the photos, Maeve holding William’s face with one hand most of the time. She was much shorter than him, so he was always bent down next to her.
He hoped they were having fun.
Ganji’s entire mood was ruined by the end of the night. The batter liked her post before he forced himself to turn his phone off, shoving his face into his pillow. Tomorrow was Saturday, and William was likely too busy to hang out with him. Maybe he’d go to the park.
His anger slowly melted away as his eyes fluttered shut, snuggling in his blanket as tightly as he could. About an hour after he fell asleep, his phone suddenly alerted him with a ringtone. A call spooked him awake— with an irritated mumble, he lowered his brightness to see who the hell wanted to bother him. Ganji hit the answer button without checking the contact name.
".. hello?" He muttered drowsily, still half awake.
"Ganji?" William’s voice came through from the other side.
"William?"
"You sound dead, man."
"I was sleeping."
"Did I wake you up?"
"Ugh.." Ganji huffed. "Yeah, you asshole."
"Sorry." William laughed over the phone. The batter looked up at the small light from his screen, wishing he could loop the sound of his voice again.
"What do you want?"
"Just making sure you’re alright."
After he ditched me? He called me because he felt bad. I hate him.
"I’m fine. Goodnight, William."
"Wait, don’t go yet!"
"Do you need something?"
"I’m.. kind of busy tomorrow. Do you mind taking care of Cricket while I’m gone?"
"Sure, I’ll babysit your kitten while you’re getting it on with Maeve. That sounds lovely." He responded sarcastically.
"Ganji, come on."
"I said I would do it." Ganji grimaced. "Is that all you need from me?"
".. can you stay on the phone for a little?"
"What’s this for?"
"Nothing."
Ganji ruffled his curls, snickering weakly.
"It’s nice that you care. But go spend the rest of the night with Maeve. I’ll be fine."
"Ganji, please—"
"You keep begging for something, but you won’t say what. Tell me the truth now or at least tell me Sunday morning."
"Hang on, man." William pleaded again. Ganji heard a distant voice, a soft whisper of a girl asking what was wrong. He closed his eyes.
"I’m going to bed. Goodnight."
".. no, Ganji-"
The batter hung up on him. William clutched the steering wheel in his hand, staring at his phone. The glare of the red light shined down on his fingers as he waited to drive to the dorms.
"Maybe he had a long day."
He shook his head, as if he were trying to reassure himself that the whole interaction just then wasn’t tense at all. What he said felt so passive-aggressive, especially about hanging out with Maeve. William was sure that he really got on his nerves by not sharing his celebration with him like he wanted to.
"He’ll be better in the morning." Maeve patted William’s shoulder.
"I guess so." The forward bumped his head back against his seat. "You need me to pick you up tomorrow night?"
"Yeah."
"And back?" William cocked his head.
"I’ll need one back, too."
"We can just go to my room afterwards."
"I like that."
"Alright."
William turned to enter the parking lot of the dorms. After he took his keys, they both left the car, following each other to the doors. Upon stepping inside, Maeve faced William with a small smile on her lips.
"Thanks for coming today. The bridge was really gorgeous."
"Anytime."
William laughed softly, leaning down to exchange a hug with her. Maeve’s hair was soft, and she smelled strongly of coconut and vanilla. He buried his head in her neck for a second longer, before they both moved away, resting their hands on each other’s arms.
"I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Maeve."
"Bye, William."
They headed in opposite directions, parting with a wave. William shoved his hand in his pocket and checked his phone, as if he expected Ganji to message him back after. His notifications were from groupchats, but none of them came from the batter. William took the elevator up, but not to his floor— as he waited, he checked the pictures he took of Maeve that night.
She was a dangerously good-looking woman. William loved her eyes and her smile in each photo, and how the red light intensified her beauty. The forward leaned back against the elevator wall.
He checked his albums, and stopped upon seeing the one he created for Ganji. His hands froze when his eyes fixated on the face of the batter at the bridge, looking off-guard. After a second of hesitation, he looked through the other videos and photos he vividly remembered just last week.
Him falling asleep in the car, him in William’s room with his cat, him when he just woke up, and him at the cafe— the forward was smiling uncontrollably. That was the face he liked to see more than anything. The more recent photos of Ganji were those that William snuck of him when he was at practice.
William chuckled at the one he took of him today, when he was in his car after winning the game. He looked so ridiculously cute when he was flustered by the compliment.
His smile faded somewhat quickly when he remembered that was only moments before he decided to go hang out with Maeve. Ganji didn’t look at him again after that. William wanted to make sure he was genuinely doing fine before he went to sleep— the guilt was eating him alive from the inside.
The elevator stopped at Ganji’s floor. William navigated the hall to find his number— 412. He knocked at the door three times.
The batter stirred awake for the second time. He was not happy at all, twitching a brow at his door while sitting up in his bed. Ganji scratched the back of his neck as he threw his legs over his bed and got up. Trudging to the door, he swung it open carelessly.
William didn’t know how to react when he saw Ganji again. The second he opened the door and stood face-to-face with him, he was overwhelmed with joy. There he was, the man in all his glory, standing in the darkness of his room, with his hair a curly mess and only shorts on. It had been hours since William last saw him, and he didn’t know why he was so eager to see him again.
"Can I help you?" Ganji squinted. His eyes were adjusting to the light, so he had a hard time identifying the person in front of him. He jumped with a quiet yelp when he was tackled in a hug, staggering backwards into his room.
"Ganji."
William hugged him tighter, wrapping his arms around his back. His skin was so warm. He could feel the burning sensation of his body on his hands, and he felt incredibly real. It eased the taller man as he leaned his head towards Ganji’s hair, breathing in the refreshing ocean smell. The forward gently ran the knuckles of his fingers along the scars on his back.
"Are you drunk?" Ganji mumbled, turning bright red with embarrassment. William kept on brushing the parts of his back that he was sensitive to, so he flinched and tried his best to stay still.
It was really random of the forward to just stop by without any warning. Ganji was too surprised to ask why he came. If this was his deplorable attempt at trying to tell the batter he was sorry for bailing on him, then it was working.
"No. I’m not."
"Why are you here, then? I think you’re at the wrong room."
"Nope. This is the right one."
William tilted his head, leaning closer to the batter’s neck. He smelled like cologne, coconut, and vanilla— in which the batter assumed was from Maeve. Ganji decided that he couldn’t take any more physical touch, or he would die on the spot from mortification. He shoved William’s face away with his hand, moving away from the hug.
"Are you here to tell me what you want from me? You were being weird on the phone," he looked him up and down, "and you’re still being weird now."
"I don’t want anything from you. I.. just wanted to stop by."
"Is that it? Is that really the reason why you keep acting this way? Is the William Ellis too embarrassed to admit he missed me?" Ganji burst out laughing.
The forward covered the batter’s mouth with his hand, stepping inside his dorm and shutting the door behind him. Ganji raised his eyebrows, being forced to move backwards when William dragged him with him.
"Keep it down."
He pushed the batter onto his bed. Ganji sat back in awe, before scoffing.
"I was only kidding."
He didn’t even deny it.
Ganji fluffed his curls, running his hand through his hair. William standing in front of him and looking down at him made him nervous.
"So.. how was your— you know. Little date?" Ganji awkwardly gestured with his hands.
"It was good." William shrugged. The batter leaned forward, scrutinizing his face.
"You look upset. Did something happen?"
"No. It was good, I promise. We went to get ice cream, then I took her to the bridge."
"I saw. Must have been fun."
"Yeah."
They were both quiet for a minute. The crickets chirped outside, and the two athletes were keen on holding eye contact with each other. William was taking in all of Ganji’s appearance to distract himself. His eyes showed that the batter was still groggy, but rather than glaring into his soul, he was looking up at him fondly.
"You excited for your date tomo—"
"I’m sorry."
Ganji cocked a brow at him, confused.
"Hah? Where is this coming from?"
"I know you said you wanted to hang out with me. I still feel like a dick for ignoring it."
"I’m over that." Ganji played with his medallion. "If you wanna hang with your girl, I’m not stoppin’ you. Plus, that won’t matter. I’m moving in with you soon."
The batter stood up, stretching his body. He crossed his arms, smiling at William.
"Thanks for looking out for me. But I can do things on my own. Go do whatever the hell you want, Ellis."
"You’re my best friend. I don’t want you to think I don’t care about you."
"I wouldn’t be mad at you if you didn’t."
"Ganji."
"Sorry, sorry. Uh- uhm.. it’s.. getting late, I guess. See you Sunday?"
"See ya, Gupta." William nodded, before heading out.
Ganji watched him leave. He wasn’t sure if it made him feel better or worse about how he felt. William went through the trouble of apologizing to him for no reason.. how could he stay mad at a face like that?
Tomorrow would be a good day. Just spend the rest of his time entertaining Cricket, as he awaited the day of his own date with Evelyn the following week. He hoped he was as fit for this stuff as William was.
Chapter 4: Replacement
Summary:
Ganji fears he may be losing his place as an important person in William’s life. He’s the only person who ever saw the batter as something other than a threat— and he can’t bring himself to talk about it.
Chapter Text
The morning of William’s date with Maeve, Ganji had woken up pretty early to begin packing his stuff for tomorrow. He got ready in his bathroom, rushing through his morning routine and throwing on a navy tee over a white long-sleeved shirt, paired with loose black jeans.
Ganji was prepared to leave his dorm, planning on stopping by a few places to get boxes and other packing materials. It was good that he had most of the day to himself before he had to head over and take Cricket.
He didn’t drive as often as William did— only when he had to, then he would make short trips to get what he needed. When he got into his car, he exhaled while sliding into his seat. The only decorations he had inside were the few bracelets and necklaces his siblings made for him, along with the first medal he won in a cricket game here.
The batter managed to get his hands on several moving boxes, most generously offered to him. The early morning weather was particularly cool, but he was definitely sweating from how tiring it was to keep on hauling boxes back and forth to his trunk.
After stuffing as many cardboard boxes as he could into his car, he stared at them for a moment, feeling doubtful.
Feels like I’m forgetting something.. is this enough? Fuck, what if it’s not? I can’t waste time. I think it’s good if I grab a few more—
He froze, suddenly patting his hand around his pocket for his phone upon feeling vibrations from it. It was a call.. a call from William, no less. Ganji smiled and answered the phone, closing his trunk.
"Hello?"
"Ganji, where the hell are you, man? I went to your dorm and you’re not even here." William complained in his ear, sounding absolutely miserable without him. The batter chuckled, amused.
"I went to get some stuff. Sorry for not telling you. I wanted to leave you be, so—"
"Hey, what!? I offered to help you with your stuff, you know!"
"Euh.. you did?"
"Did you not see my message?"
Ganji blushed as he opened the door to the driver’s seat, shaking his head with a small hum.
"Mm-mm."
"You fuckin’ idiot.."
"Not my fault. I was sleeping, and you know that."
"Whatever you say," the forward replied playfully, "but I’m gonna come help you out when you get back. Where are you?"
"I’m heading back now. Don’t miss me for too long."
There was a short pause from William. Eventually, Ganji was worried that what he said was too strange, and maybe he would take it seriously. He sat inside his car, tapping his finger against his phone.
"Pfft.." William snickered. "I’ll be here waiting for you, Gupta. ~"
"Don’t bail on me this time. See you soon, Ellis."
Ganji lowered his phone and hung up the call. After putting his seatbelt on, he started his car, but he just sat in total silence. He slapped both of his hands on the steering wheel, clutching it until his knuckles were white. Ganji tilted his head down, trying to stop the rush of heat that flowed to his face.
What the hell was that tone? Nobody had spoken his name so softly before. He didn’t know what to say to that.
Ganji always found himself in these situations with William. He smacked his hands over his face, taking a deep breath to clear his thoughts before he had to drive back to the dorms and get his shit together. Seeing the forward right now would make him pretty happy.
As he left the department store’s parking lot and followed his GPS back to the school, he concentrated on the road as hard as he could. One thing he noticed between him and William was that one of them could drive more freely than the other.
Perhaps it was his mother’s protective influence as he grew up, but Ganji was always cautious when driving so he wouldn’t do anything reckless. Everything William did was so carefree.. he could turn on songs and sing while driving, never losing track of which direction he was going. He could talk without breaking his focus.
Maybe that was why Ganji enjoyed driving with him more than doing it by himself. He liked the freedom William offered him. Something about him infected Ganji like a parasite, and it consumed his every waking thought, wondering if he could take control of his life the way the forward did with his own.
After a few minutes of driving, he stopped in the dorm’s parking lot. Ganji stepped out of his car, hurrying to text William about his arrival. Someone whistled from a distance, and he immediately perked his head up.
He recognized the forward from afar. The taller man was wearing a red and black graphic tee with black sweats, with a matching beanie and shoes. His smile was wide and bright when he saw the batter.
William waved at him, pushing a large moving cart onto the sidewalk. Ganji widened his eyes when he saw it— it completely slipped out of his mind to get one. Thankfully, his friend wasn’t as dumb as a rock sometimes. He had to give him some credit.
".. Hey, William." The batter grinned, sighing his name like he was holding his breath.
"What’s up?"
"How did you know I’d be here? I was gonna text you."
"I don’t know. Had a feeling." He shrugged cluelessly. "Need help unloading? Did you get everything you needed?"
"Yeah. I got a ton of boxes for free, luckily." Ganji shuffled over to the trunk of his car, tapping a button to open it. He reached inside to grab the flattened moving boxes, balancing them all in his arms.
"Did you get tape for the boxes?"
"Oh, shit!" He dropped everything in his arms, throwing his hands over his head. "Goddammit! I knew something was missing.. ugh, this—"
"I have some you can use." William left the cart on the sidewalk, walking over to Ganji. He knelt down, picking up the flattened boxes at his feet.
"For real?"
"Yeah, no problem."
"You’re the best. Thanks." Ganji smiled gratefully. He glanced down at William picking up the stuff he dropped, before deciding to go ahead and start grabbing the rest of the boxes in the trunk.
When the forward stood back up to his full height, he looked at the batter to make sure that he grabbed everything he needed. Ganji craned his neck in his direction, gazing right into his eyes again. They smiled at each other kindly.
"You can close the trunk." Ganji signaled to the button above his head.
"Why? Can’t reach?" William teased, raising an arm over Ganji’s head to click it. He gently nudged the batter out of the way, pulling him next to him as the door closed. It was hard to ignore the frown on his face from the joke.
"I’m just nearly as tall as you." Ganji narrowed his eyes.
"Whatever makes you feel better." William eyed his vehicle interestedly. "Nice car."
Ganji observed his white crossover SUV, shrugging.
".. thanks. But it’s not as nice as yours."
"You’ve probably been in my car more than you’ve been in your own."
"I haven’t been in there that much.." Ganji huffed. "Let’s bring this stuff inside."
The two athletes returned to the moving cart and stacked all of the flat boxes on it, pushing it to the elevator. The size of it was a little obnoxiously big, and it took up most of the space in the middle, separating them. Ganji leaned against one side of the elevator, while William was on the other side.
William pressed the button to Ganji’s floor, and they waited as the doors closed. The batter looked around carefully, crossing his arms. The other man got on his phone to distract himself, scrolling through messages and posts online. Ganji pursed his lips.
"So.. you ready for your date?" He smiled.
The question was unexpected, and it caught William off-guard. He bat an eye at Ganji, turning his phone off as he shoved it into his pocket. Ganji could see the faint blush on his face when he laughed awkwardly in response to the question.
"It’s not my first. Not anything new to me or anything."
"Does she not make you nervous?"
"Nobody makes me nervous.. Ganji."
"Hm." Ganji raised an eyebrow at him.
William was burning underneath his skin. His hesitation in saying his name was unintentional. It was partially true, what he said. None of his past relationships or girlfriends ever made him feel “nervous,” in the context of feeling shy around them.
The only person who could make him really dissociate from the rest of the world just to really admire them was Ganji. Maybe it was the way he talked and smiled that allured him, or how methodical his swings were in cricket. Maybe he felt that they understood each other more than anyone else could, despite their newly blossomed friendship.
They reached Ganji’s floor, and they pushed the moving cart out into the hallway. Slipping past other students that were venturing in the opposite direction, the two athletes stopped in front of Ganji’s door. William rested a hand on the cart as Ganji fumbled around to find his keycard.
"Where has Norton been lately?"
"Don’t know, don’t care." Ganji seethed, speaking with a bitter undertone.
He really hadn’t gotten over their small little spat on Wednesday, and he was holding a personal grudge against the guy for several reasons. The batter touched his jaw just thinking about it.
"You haven’t seen him at all?"
"It’s not like I bother looking for him, you know. You’re.. kind of.. the only person I care about, anyway." Ganji lowered his voice, mumbling.
"What was that?"
"Nothing." He shook his head. "Come inside so we can get this done fast."
"I still need to get the tape."
"Oh— right."
"Wait here. It’ll be fast, promise." William patted Ganji’s back reassuringly, leaving the cart with him as he raced to the stairs.
The batter watched him as he departed, and he was caught unawares when the forward turned over his shoulder to look back at him. He pushed against the door to the stairs, winking to him before turning the corner. Ganji stifled a small chuckle as he propped his door open, pulling the cart inside of his dorm.
While he waited for William to return, he stood in the middle of the room, his back to Norton’s half. Ganji glossed over the various cricket posters and medals hanging on his wall, and the pictures of his family hanging on a string of lights. He had a lot of things to start taking down— not only that, he had his clothes to organize.
Ganji climbed onto his bed and slowly started working with the decorations first, carefully peeling them off the wall without damaging the paint. He organized them in a big messy pile on the floor, too engrossed in taking everything down that he didn’t notice the guy at the door.
William raised an eyebrow inquisitively, carefully sneaking into Ganji’s room. The curly-haired guy was fighting against an adhesive strip that was sticking to his fingers, looking away from the door to try and yank it off. His friend was leaning behind him, setting down the packaging tape on the bed.
In an effort to scare him, William pulled his arms over his neck in a chokehold without warning, making Ganji scream out loud. A flash of fear flickered in his eyes when he fell back and faced William, shaking for a few seconds. The forward howled with laughter, messing up his curls.
"It’s just me. Don’t be scared."
Oh, fuck, he’s gonna kill me for this, William thought as he analyzed the furrow in Ganji’s brows. He looked upset, so he braced himself for the insults ready to be hurled at him.
Instead, the batter’s muscles stopped trembling, and he relaxed instantly. He raised his free hand and patted William’s arms.
".. Asshole. Thank god you’re back, though.." Ganji blushed. "You got the tape, right?"
"Of course."
William could feel the movement in Ganji’s chest and his neck when he breathed heavily and swallowed hard. He almost felt sorry for spooking him, and he expected that he would be a little more snappy. That was how he usually was— maybe he was in a good mood today.
After he let go of Ganji, the batter scoffed, going back to trying to shake the adhesive strips stuck to his hand. When he tried to peel them off with his fingers, they would keep resticking to him. He threw his head back with an peeved look.
"What’s wrong?" William put his hands in his pockets, looking down.
"This damn tape gets stuck on everything, I can’t get it off!" Ganji turned himself on the bed so he would be looking in William’s direction. He crossed his legs, holding his hand out for him to see.
"You’re making this harder than it needs to be, Ganji."
"Shut the fuck up for once, will you?"
"No can do. Give me your hand."
Ganji extended his hand, tangled in the tape. William grabbed him, pressing his thumb in his palm. They both said nothing about the contact, but the batter could hardly pull his eyes away from the way the forward’s hand was slow when it came to taking the adhesive strip out.
William was clumsy with his fingers, but it distracted him even more to be trying to focus on helping Ganji without sneaking a little glance at him every time. Eventually, he got the tape out, crumpling it into a tiny ball and tossing it aside.
"Thanks." Ganji mumbled. He uncrossed his legs, letting them hang over his bed while he pressed his palms down into the mattress. "So, how fast do you think we can get this done?"
"Maybe like a few hours. It won’t take long if we don’t get distracted. Though, knowing you, you’re easily distracted."
"Because of you."
"Really?" William smirked.
Ganji looked him up and down, averting his gaze with a flushed expression.
"No."
"You’re so shy sometimes," the forward jested, taking the tape he left on the bed. "I’ll put the boxes together for you while you gather your stuff. I can help after I’m done."
"Alright." Ganji rose up fron his bed and dusted his pants off.
Most of his belongings were pretty easy to move, and he didn’t have to worry much about disassembling any furniture. He stashed away all of his posters and photos into a box, whereas his trophies and medals were secured in another. As they began to fill more crates, Ganji labeled each of them with a Sharpie before they put them back in the cart.
"Your wall looks so.. naked." William fought back a smile as he looked up at the scene, ripping the packaging tape to put onto the boxes.
"I know." Ganji exhaled. "It feels weird."
He worked his way through his side of the dorm, stripping his bed of his comforter and sheets. His desk, once scattered with books, papers, and letters, was completely clean after he pushed everything into a box to clear the area.
The more time he spent cleaning out his dorm, the sooner he realized that he had a lot of things to pack. William constantly reminded him to get his stuff in the kitchen and the bathroom— and with each reminder, Ganji responded with a very loud groan, complaining of exhaustion.
"We gotta get this done today, so you’ll be ready to move in tomorrow. I also have my thing with Maeve today, y’know." William clicked his tongue.
"I know.. goddammit.. this shit makes me tired." Ganji bent down to unplug something from the outlet, hanging his head low to try and ignore his back pain.
"Have you had breakfast?"
"No, man."
"Maybe that’s why you’re acting like a dick."
"Excuse me?" Ganji snapped his neck around, holding a power strip in his hands. William saw the twitching of his fingers as he gripped onto it tightly, acknowledging that he was one wrong word away from getting whipped in the head.
"I’m kidding, Ganji." William grinned. "I can go and buy us something to eat. What do you want?"
"Uhm.. I’m not.. really sure." He lowered the power strip into a box, slicking his curls back with his fingers.
"How you feel about subs?"
"I don’t care. I don’t think I’ve had subs that much."
"Perfect. Anything you want in particular?"
"Surprise me. Get me whatever."
"You allergic to anything?"
"Nah."
"Alright."
"I’ll pay you when you get back. Tell me how much it is when you do."
"Nah, you’re not starting this again." William rolled his eyes, reaching into his pocket for his keys. He bumped his fist against his chest before pointing at Ganji. "It’s on me."
"You always say that. Just let me repay you for once."
"Nope. Alright, I’ll be back. See ya, Ganji."
".. be back soon, Will."
"Will?"
"Will— ah, William, sorry."
"No, it’s cool. You can call me Will. It just sounds.. different when you say it."
Ganji squinted at him skeptically. He opened his closet, hiding his face behind the doors.
"Is it my accent?"
Lowering his voice, he stared at all of his clothes hanging in front of him shamefully. He was particularly insecure of the way he talked, despite living in Britain for a few years now. Ganji sounded like a foreigner to everyone— that’s what they associated him with, no matter how hard he tried to fit in using their language.
The batter froze where he was, waiting for William to answer him. He wondered if he would laugh at the way he talked, like he—
"I like it."
"You do?" Ganji replied with a confused tone, looking dumbfounded.
"Yeah. I like the way you talk. It sounds.. uh.. I don’t know the word. I guess it sounds real nice to listen to." William shrugged weakly. "Well, I’ll be back in a few minutes. Take breaks if you need to."
He nodded his head as a farewell, before closing the door on his way out. Ganji was still standing in front of his closet, but his face was angled towards where William once was. His chest and his head felt light with excitement and hope, thinking about how sweet it was to hear that from him.
While the forward was gone, he cleared out his closet, folding his clothes nicely and packing them tightly into boxes. Ganji found his cricket uniforms and was sure to bring those with him too. He stuffed his shoes and other important accessories into more moving boxes, once again losing another desperate fight with the packaging tape. Ganji sat slumped over a large box, fatigued and extremely famished.
He took a moment to scan over the messiness of his room, the various items he had abandoned on the ground and the open boxes that he had yet to completely fill. Ganji lost track of time, and he had no idea how long he had been packing his stuff for— he was stunned to see that it had only been an hour, after it felt like an eternity.
At that point, he decided to call a break for himself. Ganji completely underestimated how hard this would be. He was getting miserably lonely without William’s company, and he worried about how long it’d take for him to return.
Ganji climbed onto his bed, naked and bare after he stripped all of its charm away and shoved it all away. He sank into the navy blue mattress, falling onto his back with a heavy chest. The batter got on his phone to scroll through his messages and social media, reluctantly waiting to see what he should send to William.
Ganji’s thumbs fidgeted awkwardly over his screen, tapping before he quickly started typing something up.
G: Coming back soon?
He was rather astonished by how quickly the message was marked as "read." It was a comforting feeling for him to know that William could see when he texted him so quickly— in a way, it was reassuring. Ganji blinked slowly at the tiny indicator that showed that William was responding to him.
W: Just picked up the food. I’m on my way back.
W: Why? You miss me already?
G: Do I?
W: Do you?
G: Hurry up. My arms are sore, and I’m already getting tired.
W: Dodging the question, Gupta.
G: No such thing.
W: I’ll be back before you even know it. You know I’m not going anywhere.
G: See you, Ellis.
W: Leave the door unlocked for me, Gupta.
Ganji let out a weak childish laugh, turning his phone off. Pressing his forearms against the mattress, the batter pushed his body upright, sliding off the bed to get back to work.
William made it back to the campus and parked his car, carrying the bag of food and drinks he bought. He navigated his way through the dormitories, taking the stairs to Ganji’s floor. As he observed the steps, he remembered when he had to drag him out of his dorm before he got injured badly. They were standing right here togethed, and William was frantically checking his face for any wounds.
It felt like it happened yesterday. At least he could pull Ganji out of that situation now.. he would be able to treat him a thousand times better if they were roommates. If his efforts to make his life better succeeded, seeing that smile would be worth it.
William meandered through the hallway, stopping in front of room 412. His hands were full, and he couldn’t quite open the door handle with his elbow. He made a few attempts to push it, but they proved futile, as it never budged.
The sound of something rustling behind the door startled him, and he backed away. Ganji swung the door open like he wanted to snap it right off its hinges. He grinned widely when he saw that William returned.
"You’re back!"
"I am back." William shrugged, holding out the food. "Take these."
"Thank you."
The batter took the paper bags from William’s hands, setting them on the counter in his small kitchen. He placed the drinks alongside them, locking the door behind the forward.
"Damn, you got a lot done while I was gone." William whistled. The room was a lot clearer than when they initially walked in here earlier— the walls, the bed, the desk; they were all back to normal. He noticed Ganji’s closet he left open, and it was practically empty.
"I just wanted to get done fast," Ganji muttered, fishing out two wrapped subs from the bag. "I have the bathroom and kitchen left to do. No way in hell am I letting Norton keep the shit I bought myself. Which one’s yours, by the way?"
Ganji lifted the two sandwiches in his hands, puzzled. William snickered, snatching the one in his right hand.
"They’re the same thing."
"Oh, really?" He studied the wrapped sandwich in his hands, peeling it back to see the inside. "It.. smells good."
"Try it. It’s my favorite."
William unwrapped his, taking a large bite out of the sandwich. Ganji experimentally did the same thing, biting the end of it. He chewed for a few seconds, raising a brow as he processed the flavors that fell on his tongue.
The bread was plush and soft, sweet and savory. The freshness of the toppings and the smokiness of the meat made him melt. The tangy sauce enhanced the flavor, simply making it even more addicting.
William watched Ganji eat and how hard he smiled despite how his cheeks were full like a chipmunk’s. He seemed to love the sub, and he couldn’t help but feel a little proud of his selection. After he swallowed his food down, Ganji put the sandwich on the counter, washing it down with a drink.
"Thank you so much. That tastes fucking amazing."
"I know."
"I should probably finish packing my stuff. You can sit and eat here." Ganji walked past the small dining table with two chairs, pulling one of them out.
"I wanna help too."
"I can do it, it’s fine. Just enjoy your food."
"If you say so. Call me if you need help." William tore a chunk out of his food, mouth full. He sat down in the chair, eyes following Ganji as he returned to close up the boxes.
There was a little struggle when he closed them up. He prioritized neatly taping them up and moving them aside into the moving cart. His room was relatively cleaned out— having packed all of his clothes and other possessions, he was ready to move on to their bathroom.
As Ganji was reorganizing his stuff, he collected all of his skincare, his hair products and soaps, and any colognes he almost forgot about. His eyes glanced over to his towel, reminding him that he should have probably done the laundry before he left. The batter rested the back of his hand over his head, exhausted.
He returned to the area connecting the kitchen and their rooms, seeing William was still sitting at the table, on his phone. The forward spotted him picking up his laundry bag and rushed to stand up next to him.
"Do you need me to carry that?"
"Huh? No, it’s fine."
"C’mon, I can do it for you. Finish up packing your stuff."
"William.."
"Give it to me."
"I said it’s fine!"
"Stop being difficult."
William approached Ganji, reaching for the laundry bag. The batter smiled, clinging onto it tightly as he moved it out of the forward’s grasp. He turned his back to him and avoided his playful attempts to snag his things, grinning wide when he looked over his shoulder. William’s chin was just barely touching his shoulder when he tried to reach the straps of the bag.
"Give me the bag, Ganji!"
"Don’t bother! I’ll do it myself!"
"Don’t make me do it."
"Do what?" The batter snickered, daring to push his luck.
A pair of hands suddenly tickled against the sides of Ganji’s body, and he widened his eyes, unable to contain the inevitable, infectious laughter that exploded out of his mouth. His abdomen tightened, and his eyes clenched hard while his body curled up to stop himself from convulsing and losing balance.
"William! William!" Ganji cried out, and his voice quivered as he pleaded his name again. "William.. shit, stop it! Please—! I—!"
"Give me the bag, Ganji!"
"No, goddammit—! William, s-stop, I’m gonna die!"
He threw his head back, howling until he started slowly losing the strength to keep himself standing. His knees staggered, and he tried to keep his fingers from loosening from the bag. Ganji keeled over to ensure William wouldn’t reach the bag, but he was shocked to see how committed the guy was to winning their fight.
William couldn’t contain the smile on his face. Ganji was clearly losing the fight, but he was laughing like a child. He gasped for air between giggles, hitting the forward’s arms away from the bag. Unfortunately, he was found at a disadvantage when William caught his wrist and held onto it to pry the bag out of his hands.
He let go of his friend, backing away before he had the chance to steal it back. Ganji’s legs gave out and he fell onto his knees, catching his breath with heavy sighs. William slid the bag over his shoulder, doing a small side nod to prove he was victorious.
"I warned you."
"I fucking hate you.."
"Are you really that ticklish?"
"Shut up!" Ganji scowled. He pushed himself up, using the support of his desk to get back onto his feet. "Go and do my laundry like you wanted to. Don’t tell me you did all that for no reason."
"Maybe I did. It was funny."
Ganji looked him up and down. The glare in his eyes signaled to William that he was getting impatient.
"Willi—"
"Yes sir, I’m on my way." The forward whistled, saluting to him as he turned to the door. "Call me if you need anything."
He didn’t even have time to open his mouth to say the forward’s name before he got cut off. Ganji blinked twice with incredulity, chuckling at his irresistibly charming and witty mannerisms.
"I will."
William waited for Ganji’s load to finish drying, and he passed some time by going on his phone. There were a few people doing their laundry as well, and small conversation filled the silence of the room, besides the rumbling of machines. He had been waiting for about an hour or so before sending Ganji a quick message to check up on him.
W: How’s the packing going so far?
G: Almost done. Need to clear out the kitchen
G: But this sandwich is so good
W: Thanks, I know.
G: Maybe you’re not that big of an idiot.
W: Says you.
G: I’m bored. Can you come back yet?
W: Nope.
G: Fuck you.
W: I said I’d be back soon.
G: Not soon enough.
"Oh my god, William?"
A familiar voice made him look up from his phone. The cheery, soft tone of a certain girl was easy for him to recognize. It was Maeve. She came with in an empty laundry basket, waving as she approached a loaded dryer and started gathering her stuff.
"I didn’t know you’d be here." Maeve laughed. "Do you normally come around this time?" She occasionally looked at William with gentle eyes.
"I didn’t plan on it, but I’m helping Ganji with some stuff."
"Oh. What’s up?"
"He’s moving out of his dorm."
"Wow, today?"
"Yeah. He’ll be my new roommate." William smiled. "It’ll be great."
"That sounds amazing!" Maeve closed the dryer, holding the laundry basket and propping it on her hip. "Does he need help?"
"I think he’d appreciate it."
"Nice! I’ll just follow you back when you’re done."
"Sounds good."
Ganji had all the kitchen cabinets wide open, scrambling back and forth to double check that he got everything he needed. He wished he had a checklist or something to make it less irritating to pack everything and to count on his memory.
A knock on the door immediately made him stop what he was doing. He walked over to unlock it for William, running his fingers through his curls.
"Thank god you’re back. I think I packed all my stuff, so now—"
"I brought Maeve to help, if you don’t mind." The forward set the laundry down inside the room.
".. huh?"
Maeve peeked from behind William’s shoulders, greeting Ganji warmly. She waved at him and smiled, but he was too tense to return the gesture. Ganji put his hand up to greet her back before he turned away from the door.
"Come in. Watch your step."
Maeve stepped inside the dorm, checking the scenery. She made a small hum when she saw how empty most of it looked.
"You got this done just today?" She asked Ganji.
"Yeah. It wasn’t that hard.. William helped and all. I think I can put the stuff in his room today and unpack later." Ganji looked over his shoulder, before turning around to face the both of them. "But I’ll stay here for the night, so you guys can spend more time together."
"I can help you guys tomorrow too, if I’m not busy."
"Sure." Ganji shrugged.
It was hard to hold a conversation with anyone besides William for him. Considering it was Maeve, he did feel somewhat uptight when they were all together here. Ganji still thought about last night, though it felt like a blur in the moment. The photos of the bridge flickered in his mind for a minute, and he had to start moving before he dwelled on it any longer.
Ganji crouched down to haul the boxes into the moving cart. William came to his side to help him, and they moved the stuff together with ease.
The batter’s eye twitched when he gazed over towards the forward. The taller man seemed to catch this, and he lowered his head down, assuming Ganji had something to say.
"When do you need to leave for your date?"
"Maybe like.. I don’t know, 5? I gotta get ready, then we need to go to our reservation early."
"It’s 3 right now."
"Seriously?" William chuckled. Ganji nodded in response, setting a box down.
"I think we’ll have to make like.. two or three trips to get everything."
He went to the counter to take a quick bite of his sub. When he passed Maeve, she faced her body towards him, looking just as awkward as he did. Something told him that she was afraid of him.
"I saw you playing last night. That was.. pretty damn good."
"Thanks."
"How long have you played cricket for?"
"Few years," he spat out dryly. There were parts of his life in which he didn’t want to talk about his cricket experiences. If Maeve was trying to pry, he wouldn’t let her.
"Where did you play at?"
"I played in India." Ganji avoided the question. He looked away from her, following William. "I think we’re good now. We can go to your dorm."
"Oh, alright. I’ll push the cart for you."
William, Maeve, and Ganji left the dorm, pushing his stuff down the hallway. The batter strayed behind the couple, chatting happily about how excited they were for their plans that night. All he had to be excited about was spending a few hours pet-sitting Cricket.
Seeing them walk together made him feel rather lonely. It reminded him that Evelyn seldom messaged him back anymore. Ganji had excused it by assuming she was busy with her life, but she never told him anything. It always felt like she was just answering him half the time.
He took out his phone and opened her contact, typing.
G: Do you need a ride next week?
Ganji quickly slipped his phone back in his pocket, not expecting her to respond. A sudden ring in his phone made him freeze for a moment, before he checked if it was really his that went off.
E: Yeah, that would be great, actually. I can give you my address.
G: That sounds good. What time do you feel like going? I can make a reservation.
E: I think 8 is a good time.
G: Alright. See you soon.
E: I can’t wait! See you, Ganji.
William was absorbed in his conversation with Maeve, realizing that Ganji had been quiet and following behind them for some time. He checked to see if he was still there— he was relieved when he looked like he was fine with him having Maeve around, but he was on his phone, occupied with something else.
"Ganji?"
"Ah- yeah?"
"Are you texting Evelyn?"
"I am. Wh-"
"Who’s that? Does she go here?" Maeve beamed.
Now they were both staring at the batter. He felt uneasy, gently lowering his phone and slowly glancing between the two of them. Ganji looked at William for longer than he intended to.
"She goes to Cypress. I met her at a cafe last week."
"Oh, that’s so cute!"
"She’s.. cool."
Ganji never told William about his plans to go on a date with her. Knowing him, he’d pester him about it until the day of. He didn’t want to admit that he was somewhat nervous about the concept of a date, mainly because he would get made fun of.
"How’d you guys start talking?" Maeve continued as they walked down the hallway. Ganji took it as a gesture of friendliness, and didn’t mind laying out the details of the time Evelyn’s friend approached him at the cafe.
William studied Ganji as he and Maeve talked. There was a kind aura that surrounded him, and his eyes seemed fuller with life than before. He didn’t have to hide his smile as often, and he laughed freely as he rambled quietly about his life.
I’ll have to thank Evelyn big-time whenever I meet her again, the forward thought. I wonder how she managed to make him so much happier.
They finally got to the elevator, and he moved the cart inside. Ganji stood by himself on one side, whereas Maeve stood with William, once again softly conversing over small matters. Ganji crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, looking away.
The doors opened, and the three hurried down to William’s dorm with Ganji’s stuff. The forward stopped to unlock it, slowly peeking in before fully pushing it open. The batter stood next to him, also curiously looking inside.
"Does she know about Cricket?" He whispered.
"Yeah, obviously."
William ventured inside, calling for his kitten. Maeve and Ganji stood at the door, both smiling with amusement when a tiny creature emerged from under the bed and meowed at William’s arrival.
"She’s so tiny in real life.." The girl sighed.
"She’s cute." Ganji agreed, before returning to the cart. "Might wanna move over for a sec."
"I can help you," Maeve walked to the opposite end of the cart. Together, they moved it inside of the room, after William cleared the area and put Cricket on his bed.
They removed all of Ganji’s boxes and set them on the ground delicately, each taking turns to entertain Cricket and keep her from interfering with their unpacking. The batter was confused when Maeve and William burst out cackling as they pointed to his leg, only to discover the small kitten hiking up his pants with a sad cry.
He plucked her off and slipped her in the small shirt pocket on his chest, continuing to unload his stuff. Once it seemed like they managed to get most of it out, Ganji remembered that he would have to go back for the rest of the boxes in his room.
"I’ll be back," he walked over to Maeve, taking the kitten out of his pocket as he handed Cricket to her. "I’ll try to be fast so you guys can start getting ready for your date."
"What time is it?"
"Almost.. 4, maybe."
"I should probably get going, then." Maeve pet Cricket and scratched her head, giving her to William. "It takes a long time for me to get ready. I’ll see you tonight, William."
"See ya."
"It was nice to meet you, Ganji."
"You too. Bye."
Maeve was the first to leave. Ganji paused, looking to William with a smile.
"I think she’s good for you."
"I know." William laughed. "I hope I don’t fuck it up this time."
"I have faith in you. You guys are a good pair."
"Thanks, man."
"I’ll get going, now." Ganji dragged the cart towards the open door. "I’ll be back—"
"Wait, without me?"
"William.. it won’t take that long."
"But it’d be fun if we did it together."
William noticed the red flush on the batter’s cheeks. Ganji squinted, avoiding eye contact.
".. just play with Cricket or.. ugh, fine."
"Yeah! Let’s go!"
After two trips to and from Ganji’s room, he successfully moved all of his stuff into William’s dorm. He fell face first into his new bed, too unbothered to put his sheets and comforter on it. William planted Cricket on his back, letting her crawl on his body. Ganji flinched slightly when she tickled him.
"Just in time to get ready for your date, huh?" Ganji mumbled.
"Yep. I’m gonna take a shower. Also, could you please feed Cricket for me?"
"Sure. C’mere, baby." Ganji whispered to Cricket, picking her up while sitting up. She meowed and nipped at his fingers. Heading to William’s kitchen, he dug around until he found the stash of wet canned food.
He opened it up and prepared it in a tiny bowl for her, but it was more of a mess than he thought. Cricket was so viciously hungry, she maneuvered around Ganji’s hands to try and smash her face into the food. He had to keep sliding her backwards on the counter to make her stay away. Soon after he was done, he finally allowed her to eat, lowering her and her bowl to the ground.
Ganji recorded Cricket devouring the wet food, stifling a laugh when she lifted her big head and her mouth was covered with the wet slop. He looked over the video, showing it to her as if she understand how stupid she looked. Cricket stared with big beady eyes, before diving down into another mouthful of food.
William spent a particularly long time in the bathroom getting ready, but Ganji was fine with it. He cleaned up Cricket’s face before she had a chance to go dirty his or William’s clothes, and they played with a little feather toy on a string.
He let her roam around freely, whether it was curiously scratching his moving boxes or crawling into his lap when he was sitting on the floor. The sound of a door unlocking and opening made both the batter and the cat look up at the same time.
Ganji was dazed at the sight of William. He looked so enchanting, and he knew of no man of greater splendor than the forward standing just a few feet away from him. The wine red of his suit complimented his dark complexion, and his stature made him look like a true model.
And god, he hated it so much, the fact that he had a split second of thinking, "I wish I was Maeve."
"So, how is it?" William smirked. Ganji did not hide his feelings well, so the forward could see his eyes looking him up and down with bewilderment. He’d let him take in the sight first.
"Holy shit, dude." Ganji spoke through a shaky breath. "You look.. great."
"Thanks." William went up to Ganji, offering a hand to help him up. The batter held onto Cricket and he grabbed onto the forward, being pulled back onto his feet. He stumbled forward, catching a small hint of William’s cologne again.
Cricket sneezed at the smell, and Ganji quickly set her down on the ground so she wouldn’t have to inhale the perfume. He looked up at William, admiring his face.
"Goddamn." He cussed out loud.
"What?"
"Maeve’s lucky."
"Jealous again?"
"Of you, yeah."
Ganji noticed his collar was crooked. He moved his hands to try and straighten it for him, but William, to his surprise, stepped away from him. The forward saw what he was reaching for, but he gave him a kind smile and a dismissive hand.
"I got it." William fixed his suit. He pulled up his sleeve to check the time on his watch, sighing in relief when he finished on time.
"I’m gonna go to Maeve’s dorm. I‘ll let you know when we’re on the way back." William walked past Ganji, patting him on the shoulder. "Make sure you and Cricket both behave."
".. Yeah. I hope the date goes well."
"Thanks. See you tomorrow."
"You too."
The forward hovered his hand over his curls, stopping before he really touched them. His fingers twitched, and he suddenly couldn’t bring himself to mess up his hair this time. Ganji saw in the corner of his eye, how he pulled his hand away. William got his keys, phone, and wallet, gently locking the door behind him.
He had this awful feeling in his gut, standing isolated in the middle of the room. It felt like he was reliving memories of his past experience, this unsettling sensation of despondency caused by him getting abandoned by everyone else. Ganji knew he was overthinking it again.
William didn’t really mean to send off those kinds of messages. He knew that in his heart. But his mind thought otherwise, and it couldn’t ease the hole burning through his chest when he clenched his fists with anger.
His breathing accelerated, and he could feel that familiar constriction in his chest from the spiraling emotions that crashed over his head like perilous waves. The batter’s nails were starting to press into his palms, forming deep marks in his skin until he could feel the pain shooting up his wrist.
Why did he have to feel this way? He couldn’t find a reason to be mad. He didn’t understand why he was so resentful, or who caused him to act like this. It couldn’t be Maeve; she was impossibly sweet and delightful, and even if he envied her for catching William’s eye, he knew she was a good person.
William himself.. Ganji couldn’t bear to think of him.
He let himself fall to the ground onto his knees, with his hands between his thighs as he spaced off. Ganji’s face was hot, and his clothes made him uncomfortable. He wanted to crawl out of his skin, and maybe dig a hole where he could bury himself and disappear from the world forever.
Something meowed, and it shattered his train of thought. Ganji lifted his head, turning to see where the noise came from. Cricket jumped onto his leg, and she looked up at him apologetically, as if she could sense his sadness.
Ganji laughed pitifully, moving Cricket into his lap to scratch her ears and stroke her fur. She was such a little, peculiar animal, but she understood him faster than anyone else he had known. Scooping the kitten into his hands, Ganji held her up in front of him. He lightly inched his head closer to her, in which she returned the action, bumping their noses together.
"Thank you, baby."
Cricket meowed at the endearing name, licking over his scars. Ganji held her close to silence the sobs that threatened to leave his mouth, and the tears that wanted to fall.
William waited outside of Maeve’s dorm, after he sent her a message ahead of time that he’d be coming. She told him to be patient and hang in there for just a few more minutes so she could get her final touches in for her outfit. He wasted some time on his phone, sending Ganji a message out of boredom.
W: Is Cricket alright?
No response. It was unusual. The batter responded suspiciously fast whenever he wasn’t at practice.. yet, this time, it stayed on delivered for a few seconds. William rocked himself back and forth on his heels, thinking about him.
It was the same heart-dropping feeling he experienced last night when he left him to go out with Maeve. Guilt was biting at him, and he was anxious about Ganji thinking that he wasn’t good enough to be around. William sent a follow-up message just to be sure.
W: Are you busy tomorrow? Let’s go out after you’re done with moving in.
The messaged was marked as read. Ganji started typing, between short pauses.
G: I’m busy.
"Fuck, man.." William ran a hand over his head, narrowing his eyes at the reply.
"William? You still out there?" Maeve called from inside her room.
"I’m here."
When she opened the door, the forward’s mouth gaped wide open with disbelief. Maeve was glowing head-to-toe, radiant in the gold jewelry and wine red satin dress that reached the ground. She had a matching red clutch in his hands, and her elegance was unfathomable. William was grinning ear-to-ear.
"Wow, Maeve.. you’re beautiful."
"You look handsome as well, William." She smiled and bowed with thanks. "Should we head out now? When do we need to be there?"
"We’ll be a few minutes early."
He escorted her to his car, and when they got in, Maeve settled comfortably in the passenger seat. She flipped the sun visor down and opened the vanity mirror to touch up her makeup. William waited for her to finish before he set up the GPS and got on the road.
They arrived at the Starlight Diner just 10 minutes before their reservation. After being seated at a table together, Maeve skimmed through the menu while admiring the scenery.
"I feel like I haven’t been here in years."
"It’s pretty, huh?"
"It’s gorgeous."
"I had a feeling you’d like it here." William smiled, looking through his menu too.
They had a long discussion over what to get for their appetizers, before agreeing to settle on fried calamari as a default. The server took their orders for their meals and their drinks before departing and leaving the couple alone to talk.
"So, how’s volleyball going?"
"Nothing new. The usual stuff," Maeve shrugged. "How about you? I heard you guys have a rugby game coming up real soon."
"Ah, yeah," William leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms. "It’s a lot of practice for the rest of the week, but we always win."
"Oletus really lives up to its name." She laughed. "What made you want to go here?"
"I heard Oletus was well known for their rugby team. My coach recommended me, anyway. I think the campus is pretty cool, too. If I didn’t come here, I don’t know who I’d be talking to nowadays."
"Me too. This school has a pretty damn good reputation for their volleyball program. I met a lot of amazing people during my time here." Maeve laced her fingers together, resting them under her chin with her elbows on the table. "Speaking of which, how did you and Ganji become friends?"
William’s brain buffered when he heard Ganji’s name again. Without a second of hesitation, he lit up instantly, snickering to himself when he remembered his past.
"We went to the same middle school together. He was a transfer student from India. Heard he could play cricket really well, and I guess I was just.. I don’t know. I wanted to know more about him. It was hard to talk to Ganji, because he didn’t like interacting with other people and shit, y’know."
"I can only imagine. Moving to a new country sounds terrifying. Maybe you intimidated him."
"No way." William scoffed. "We never really got close during middle school, or highschool. I tried to talk to him even during those years, but he avoided me like the plague. It was only recently that he cracked for me."
"I can see. He looks like the happiest guy in the world when you’re around. I was honestly a little scared of him, but he seems a lot friendlier in person, compared to what I’ve heard."
"I feel like I pressured him into being friends, sometimes. I showed up to his practices without telling him, and over time, he let me. My presence was tolerable. Ganji.. man, he’s the best guy ever."
"You guys get along well."
"He hates my guts sometimes. He’ll tell you that." William ran a hand through his locs. "But he likes me. He gives me advice and looks out for me. I’m.. not sure how good I’d be doing without him."
"It really sounds like you’ve changed each other."
With a slow nod, he adjusted his position in his chair. He desperately wanted to redirect the conversation. William cherished Ganji beyond everything else, but talking about him any more would make him feel sick from missing him.
"How’s your family?" He quickly changed the subject.
"They’re great! I get to go home and see them tomorrow," Maeve clasped her hands together, resting her knuckles under her jaw. "I told them a little about you. They’d love to meet you sometime."
That’s fast, William thought, masking his reaction with a polite nod. He recalled what Ganji told him before, just last week.
"Maybe nothing works out because you’re rushing into new relationships so fast. I think you should, uhm.. take it slow? Something like that."
William scratched the back of his neck. It wasn’t something that was within his control— his relationships were always fast paced, and it just happened to get a point where he became accustomed to it. He had already reached this stage in his relationship with Maeve, so what was there for him to do? He couldn’t simply “slow down.”
"If I’m not busy, maybe I could tag along."
"Are you serious?"
"It’d be nice."
"That’s so sweet! My little brothers would absolutely adore you!"
They both laughed at the thought of it. Maeve had two younger brothers and a little sister— William had been raised as an only child, but he was good with children, considering he entertained his friends’ siblings all the time back then.
He wished that he had younger siblings that could look up to him. If he had the chance to meet Maeve’s, it would make him feel a little more fulfilled with himself. She was already back to rambling about how her brothers would love to have another guy in the house, to play football and whatnot with him, and to have him take them out all the time. William agreed with everything she said.
Their drinks and appetizers came out, and their date seemed to be going pretty smoothly. Their compatibility was surprisingly strong— Maeve’s personality was identical to William’s, and he never thought he’d meet someone who was so like him. They shared several similar interests and preferences.
Maeve was passionate like him. She was altruistic and loved taking care of others before herself. That girl brought joy and entertainment to anyone who encountered her, and she proved herself to be true from how often she made William laugh out loud. She was perfect. Maybe for a few minutes, he had forgotten about Ganji, and he was so fixed on her.
Their food came out, and the two agreed to take a photo before they started eating. William stopped Maeve after she set her phone down.
"Let me take a picture of you."
"Me?"
"Yeah. You can post it. Isn’t that what you like."
"Sure. Let me just do this real quick.."
She ran her hands through her hair, brushing it out and fixing it over her shoulder. Maeve positioned herself so she was posing for the photo, leaning an arm on the table with a hand on her cheek. The candlelight and the warm ambiance of the restaurant gave life to her skin.
As William held the phone in his hands, he took several shots before she asked to inspect them and pick out the good ones. He gave it to her without hesitation, waiting to see her reactions to herself. Her wide smiles indicated that she liked the results.
A buzz from William’s phone in her hands made them both peer over at his screen. Maeve offered the device back to him.
"It’s from Ganji."
"Ganji?" William repeated back, sounding worried. He took the phone back, his eyes flickering to read what he could have possibly sent.
G: I’m going back to my dorm. Been a long day. Cricket’s coming with me, so don’t worry about us. Goodnight.
The forward pouted, feeling displeased with the message. It always felt like Ganji was finding a reason to head off to bed early. Something itched to beg him to not go back yet— William couldn’t recognize the longing in his heart, but he let his fingers move on impulse.
W: It’s so early, though.
G: I’m tired.
W: I’ll swing by when I get back.
G: Don’t bother.
G: Goodnight.
He felt something crawling up his back, and it sent shivers down his spine. What was this gut-wrenching anger that emerged so abruptly? Ganji rejected him and turned him away— all for what? Was it his bitterness for going unnoticed by William yet again?
The forward tucked his phone away, forgetting to respond back to his message.
After finishing their meals, William paid and left a tip before they headed outside. It was dark in the city, and the moon was bright above their heads, full and enchanting in the night sky. They both gazed upon the spectacle, Maeve murmuring something under her breath.
"The moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?"
"It is."
"It’s breathtaking with all the stars around it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many in a long time."
"You’re right." William checked his watch and reached into his pocket for his keys. "Shall we get going?"
"Of course."
They made a short walk to William’s car, and he opened the passenger door for her while holding her hand to help her inside. They both put their seatbelts on, admiring the scenery of the restaurant from the outside.
"This place had such a good steak." Maeve remarked.
"Only the best."
"You’ve got great taste, William Ellis."
"I think so, too. I mean, look at you."
"Oh, shut up.."
He let out a quiet huff of playfulness, putting the car into reverse. William started the drive back to the dormitories, giving Maeve the freedom to play whatever she wanted on the aux. They didn’t talk much on the way back, and the mood was relatively calm and casual. William only stayed silent for so long because he was continuously thinking about Ganji.
The guy just needed to get his shit together or something. One day he’s out criticizing William for living the way he wants and being with whoever he chooses, but when he really thinks about trying to change his ways to get into a better relationship, Ganji’s suddenly mad at him all over again. It didn’t make sense.
Ganji wasn’t his priority at the moment. It was rugby and Maeve that really mattered here. William tapped his fingers on his steering wheel, wondering if he should start focusing more on what was more valuable to him.
He thought about it for the entire drive. His heart hated to think about casting Ganji aside. He had such a special place.. but considering everything else.. he wasn’t the most important at the moment.
When they got back to the dorms, William offered to let Maeve come back to his room to stay for awhile. He knew what to expect; the opportunity was right in front of her. She looked ravishing at that time, and before either of them could process whatever happened next, he was already busy peppering her in small kisses in the dimness of his room.
He thought of nothing else but her when he would breathe her in against her lips, the softness of her hands when they linked together with his own. William didn’t care if it was loveless or not— she was divine, and he would draw out this moment a little longer, to drink her up like the richest wine in the world until he was drunk in her pleasure.
Not once did Ganji cross his mind. He had someone else to distract him— he was content the way he was.
As for the batter, he laid on his side, curled up on his bed without much to help keep him warm. Before he left William’s dorm, he pried open one of his boxes with his clothes inside and changed into something comfortable. Ganji was too drained to fish out all his other things to take a shower, so he and the tiny kitten, who was hidden in his pocket, returned to his old dorm.
His room felt a lot chillier than the night before. He freed Cricket from the confines of his pockets and gently tossed her onto his bed, collapsing onto it as well. Ganji laid back, ready to start doomscrolling again.
He didn’t feel any better looking through various videos and stupid content online, but they took his mind off of things for a minute. Ganji was exhausted from being mad, but it always felt like he was constantly annoyed by everything. Reflecting back on his weird interactions with William as of late, it bothered him more that he could sense their relationship was not normal anymore.
The batter threw his arm over his eyes. His mind eventually shut itself down after his fatigue caught up to him, and he was knocked out. Ganji’s phone never turned off, and it was stuck looping a video over and over. He was in too deep of a sleep to care about something minor like that.
Cricket understood that he was sad and drowsy. She crawled through the space between his arm and his head, cuddling next to his face and nuzzling his cheek. Ganji hugged her close to keep her from falling. He mumbled a sleepy goodnight to her, before they both drifted off to bed.
The following morning, Ganji groaned as the sunlight seeped in through the window and directly blinded him. He sat up uncomfortably, looking down at Cricket, still hiding close to him. The batter put a hand to his head, rubbing his eyes and patting around to find his phone.
The scorching heat from his screen made him quickly draw his hand back. He was startled by the burning touch, so he flipped his phone over to see what could have possibly been running so long to make his phone heat up. Ganji was rather annoyed when he saw it never turned off when he was scrolling online.
His phone was at low battery. Great way to start the day.
Ganji reached his hand near his bedside, searching for his charger. He struggled to find anything for a moment, nearly tipping off the mattress when he tried to look around. The batter froze when an immediate thought occurred to him.
He left his stuff in William’s room— including the charger.
Looking around with panic, he wondered if Norton had a charger around that he could use. He spotted a cord near his bed, sighing with relief. But, as he started to lift it up to plug in his phone, he was unlucky enough to remember that they had different phone types.
Ganji released the cord, shoving his phone into his pocket. He didn’t have much of a choice besides to go up to the forward’s room to get his charger.
The batter made a gentle whisper to the sleeping kitten, stirring her awake. She wobbled over to his open palm, climbing onto his hand to let him pick her up. Ganji tucked her in his pocket, leaving his room to make the embarrassing trip to William’s dorm.
The dorms were so eerily quiet, and he could hear how loud his footsteps were in the stairwell when he took a single step. When he got to William’s floor, he paced slowly down the hallway, trying to find his number.
Cricket meowed in his pocket. Ganji freed her, holding her in his hand when he lifted the other to knock on the forward’s door. The batter stepped back hesitantly, trying to soothe his nerves by petting the cat.
Nobody opened the door immediately. He assumed they were still sleeping. After a few more seconds of waiting around, Ganji gave up and decided that he was better off leaving and doing something else. As he turned away to go back to his dorm, the door made a faint clicking sound.
It creaked when the guy behind it opened it and peeked outside, catching the back of someone’s head heading down the hall. William narrowed his eyes to spot out the mess of curls that seemed so far away, before calling out to him.
"Ganji?"
The batter stopped walking. He glanced back upon hearing his name.
".. Hey."
"Were you the one that knocked?"
"I did."
"What do you need?"
Ganji strolled up to William, standing a few feet away for his own comfort. He inspected the forward’s appearance, looking as if he hurriedly threw some pants on just to answer the door. It made him look away awkwardly.
"Do you have a charger I could borrow? I left mine in one of the boxes, and I don’t wanna disturb you guys."
You guys? William raised an eyebrow. How’d he know she was in here?
"Yeah, for sure." He disappeared behind the door for a short time, returning with a white charger and setting it in Ganji’s hand. The batter slid it inside his pocket.
"Thanks. Uhm, also—"
"Hm?"
"Do you want Cricket back?"
William’s eyes wandered down to the cat in his hands. They also looked over Ganji’s body, taking in his full appearance.
"I can take her back."
Ganji passed her over to her rightful owner. Cricket rotated her body towards the batter and meowed sadly when she had to separate from him. William laughed and scratched her chin, holding her in his palm.
"Thanks for looking after her."
"It was nothing. I hope you guys had a good time last night." He looked the forward in the eyes with sincerity, but perhaps even a hint of weariness. "See you."
"Hang on."
"What?"
William held his hand out to ruffle Ganji’s hair. The batter instinctively flinched before he stopped and looked reluctantly at him. He wanted to walk away, to try and dodge it. But he stood still, maybe even tipping his head gently so William could reach him.
When his hand touched his head, William messed up his curls. The interaction was awkward for the both of them— Ganji didn’t know why he stayed for him, but his heart yearned to feel that physical contact so badly that he was automatically drawn to him. His face immediately twisted into something of shame and regret, walking away before either of them could say anything.
Cricket meowed goodbye to him. William put her on the floor. When she tried to follow Ganji to his dorm, the forward had to slide her back inside the room with his foot to close the door.
He couldn’t get rid of this heaviness that weighed down on his heart so greatly. It happened every time he saw Ganji show up in front of him, and he couldn’t comprehend why his body reacted so differently around him. It could have been the inner turmoil in his mind between spending time with him or Maeve.
He knew they weren’t the same person. He knew they were both so different. Maeve was like William, and Ganji.. maybe they just didn’t bond like that. They were both great people, but he favored her more because of her interest in him. They didn’t have problems.
Sometimes he wondered if he’d ever truly understand Ganji. There’d be times where William would be reminded that their lives made them feel worlds apart.
Who was he kidding? Ganji wasn’t laidback like him— it was foolish of William to miss the fact that the batter lived a harder life than he did. He wouldn’t be easy to read like a book. William wasn’t good at handling other people’s emotions, anyway.
Cricket pawed at his feet, begging to be picked up again. He groaned and knelt down, lifting her up to give her a kiss. And for some reason, she smelled so vaguely familiar to him.
She smelled like Ganji.
William scrunched his nose, turning around to the pile of boxes behind him. Today was Sunday— the day Ganji was supposed to be coming in to unpack his stuff and officially become his roommate. His short period of excitement left as fast as it came. He wasn’t quite sure when the batter planned to return to get his stuff laid out. It was worth shooting a text to him to clarify.
By the time Ganji got back to his dorm, he hastily opened the door and closed it with trembling hands, pressing the back of his head against it. He couldn’t explain the reactions in his body that always resulted in him getting anxious of William and moving away in fear.
The batter needed to get his mind off of it. He got to the ground to plug in his charger and his phone, and he stayed where he was, raising his chin to look out the window.
Everything seemed to repeat itself. He dwelled on the past before, and he would continue to think about what happened to him for the rest of his life. Ganji was afraid that William only needed him when he was bored and wanted someone to amuse him, the way his former cricket team took advantage of him as their plaything.
He felt the same way every time, and he had to face the truth when it came back to bite him— Ganji Gupta was good enough to be seen, but not good enough to be liked.
The batter stood up and laid down on his bed, staring at the ceiling until he could detach himself from the world. Solitude was all he had ever know when he moved and joined the Queens Guard. Here, he was facing it differently.
Ganji wondered if something was ever wrong with him. If there were many more reasons as to why he wasn’t normal like anyone else. There was a phrase people used to describe feeling like an outcast.. "like a fish out of water," he remembered.
He was a foreigner. He spoke different. He looked different. He acted different.
No amount of people could change the fucked up way he was. No amount of time could let him learn how to live normally and find closure in his life. Ganji was doomed to be second to everything, when he couldn’t do anything about it.
Britain was cruel. They made him feel like he wasn’t human sometimes. Ganji frequently contemplated between death, or moving back home to India, depending on how horribly he was feeling on those days. Either one would bring him peace. To leave Oletus scared him. But to go back to where he knew he would be accepted motivated him.
Ganji’s mind grew too tired to think any longer, and he didn’t recall much before he fell asleep. He wasn’t able to rest for long when his phone buzzed with a message.
Rolling onto his side to fetch his phone, he briefly looked over the text, holding his breath when he knew who the sender was.
W: Still planning on unpacking today?
Ganji bit the inside of his cheek.
G: I’ll do that on my own.
W: Ganji, I can help.
G: I assumed you had to go somewhere with Maeve.
W: I didn’t
W: I didn’t plan on it, but maybe
G: Just go with her. I’ve told you once, it doesn’t bother me to do things on my own.
W: Why are you like this?
G: Sorry?
W: You’ve been so weird. You keep avoiding me. Did I do something to piss you off or what?
G: How considerate.
W: Do you think I’m fucking playing around? Just tell me why you’ve stopped talking to me.
G: But we have been talking. We are talking right now, aren’t we?
W: Quit acting smart with me.
G: What are you trying to accuse me of?
W: What, is it Maeve?
G: What about her?
W: Does she bother you?
G: No. Why would you think that?
W: You’re always talking about some "go hang out with Maeve"
W: Then you ignore me.
G: I just want you two to spend time together.
W: If you have a problem with her, just say that. I don’t want to hear you or see you looking all depressed every time I do go out with her for whatever you’re getting upset about.
W: It makes me worried— if you insist on doing shit on your own, then fine.
G: You’re going too far.
W: I’m being honest with you. I do care about you, but Maeve is my girlfriend
W: I care about her
W: When she wakes up, I’ll take her out for breakfast so you can go and unpack whatever you need to.
W: Ganji?
W: Ganji, your stuff.
W: Are you seeing my messages?
W: Hello?
W: Dude, I’m gonna come to your dorm.
W: What happened?
Ganji stopped replying.
Chapter 5: Envy
Summary:
Ganji starts becoming avoidant of William. Their friendship is a constant push-and-pull; the forward thinks he’s helping, and the batter thinks it’s stupid. Just as William’s life keeps on getting better, Ganji is spiraling.
Chapter Text
After William woke Maeve up, he told her that she should head back to her dorm and get ready to go get breakfast. He lent her one of his sweatshirts and a pair of shorts so she could comfortably go back to her room, with her clothes and stuff in hand.
William himself got ready quickly for a casual breakfast date. He put on a white muscle shirt and dark blue jeans, with a belt and a black denim jacket. As he fixed his locs in the mirror, something left a bad taste in his mouth.
The conversation with him and Ganji ended abruptly, without another word from the batter. Naturally, as a friend, he was concerned; the forward felt tormented when he discovered how aggressive his tone was, after it was too late. Never would he have thought that he would be so dedicated to choosing a girl over a close friend of his, but here he was, letting his self-condemnation swallow him whole.
William knew Ganji would hate to see his face after what he said. He said it in the heat of the moment. Deleting the messages wouldn’t remove it from either of their heads— if it made him feel this awful, he couldn’t grasp how the batter must have been right now. Should he take responsibility and apologize for what he said?
He picked up his phone from the bathroom counter, calling Ganji’s contact and waiting for him to respond. The call declined suspiciously fast. William didn’t give up, and he called a second time. The ringing persisted longer than the last call, and when he believed it was about to go to voicemail, Ganji picked up.
"Ganji?"
No response. William left his bathroom, pacing his room.
"Ganji? Please answer me."
".. I’m here."
"Listen, man, I have to tell you— I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything I said. I wasn’t thinking."
"Please, stop."
".. what?"
William’s heart dropped when he heard something between a choked sob and a trembling sigh from the other guy.
"Shut up for a minute." Ganji swallowed again.
The batter suddenly laughed into the phone, but William knew it wasn’t anything of happiness or gaiety. He wished that he knew the right things to say right now. But he wasn’t good at communicating with emotions. He simply gripped onto his phone as hard as he could, waiting for Ganji to speak.
"You really don’t.. think about the things you say and do, huh?"
"I was in a bad mood. I swear, it—"
"You just so happened to take it out on me?"
"No, no! I wasn’t trying to take it out on you, I promise!"
"Ellis, I think we both misinterpreted each other. And uhm," Ganji smiled, "that’s alright."
"I’m so sorry."
"I don’t care about it. Stop apologizing."
".. alright." William held his tongue, as he didn’t protest. "So.. when do you want to come over and unpack?"
"I might hold off on it for now. I don’t feel good."
"Are you good? Do you need me to come—"
"No." Ganj sighed through his speaker. "There’s no point."
"Ganji, I’m just trying my best to make sure you’re fine."
"I am. Who do you take me for, a liar?" Ganji mumbled. "Don’t worry. Please. I’m okay."
"Say you’re being honest."
".. I-I am. Look, it’s just— shit. I gotta go." Ganji exhaled heavily again. "I’m sorry."
"Ganji—!"
Ganji quietly cursed underneath his breath before saying something, something along the lines of "I can’t do this" before he hung up on William. The forward lowered his phone and clenched his fists. He knew something was wrong, but he wasn’t sure if he had the guts to go and confront Ganji directly about it.
His friend needed him, but why did he have to be the one that made him upset to begin with? Was it true that William spoke impulsively and didn’t realize what he said until it already left his mouth? Did Ganji know him better than William knew him?
He put his phone into his pocket, just about to open his door. When William pulled the door handle, he jumped when Maeve was standing right in front of him. She made a squeaking sound when he appeared out of nowhere.
"Sorry—!" The girl held back a laugh. "Are you ready to go now?"
"I was about to go see.." William leaned on the doorframe, knitting his brows together as he watched down the hallway. The hallway where Ganji was about an hour ago, standing with what felt like so much distance between them. The forward looked down at her again.
".. nevermind. Yeah. I’m ready."
"Okay! Let’s go! Where are we headed?"
"That cafe sound alright to you?"
"Yeah!"
Goddammit, I’m doing it again.
William forced a smile as he locked his door. Maeve’s eyes made him feel lightheaded. Too many things were happening at once today— the last thing he wanted to do was bring them to a place that he and Ganji made memories at once.
But then again, the words left his mouth before he knew what he said.
Ganji was going to shove his fist down his throat. After the call ended, he felt incredibly nauseous, this aching feeling beyond any emotional pain he ever felt before. If William thought he made anything better, he was dead wrong. He thought he was going to suffocate from the way he was breathing so hard; hearing the forward’s voice made him spiral.
So what if it was about Maeve? Ganji liked her, but he was only afraid of being forgotten. Seeing how William reacted anyway scared him even more and fed into his delusions.
His phone buzzed with a notification. Ganji dried his eyes before looking at what he wanted now.
W: We’re leaving the dorm. I left a box cutter on the counter. I’ll give you my keycard so you can get inside. Go to the stairs.
I forgot that I don’t have access to his room. The front desk must have it.. how careless of me to have forgotten it.
G: I can go pick up my card at the check-in desk.
W: Take mine. It’s faster.
G: Okay.
Ganji unplugged his phone after it had enough battery to last the day. Shoving the charger in his pocket, he left his room and only braced himself mentally to interact with the forward again.
He went to the stairs as he was told to. William was a floor above him, so it wouldn’t take long for them to cross paths. And just like he had expected, when he climbed up one set of stairs and was already turning, two people were passing by. Ganji was too faraway in his thoughts to notice them.
Maeve and William cocked their heads towards the batter. He kept on walking, like he never saw them right in front of him. William whispered a weak “hey” to get his attention.
Following behind Ganji, he grabbed his arm.
The batter’s fight-or-flight instincts immediately triggered, and he was close to twisting his arm to free himself from his grasp. When Ganji looked over his shoulder and saw William’s eyes, he dropped his guard. Still, he pulled his arm away.
"Hey."
"Just give it." Ganji grimaced, turning his eyes away. He held out his palm.
"Yeah, I know. Here’s the card." William pulled something from his pocket. The curly-haired man snatched it with frightening speed. He left no last words for the forward or the girl next to him before continuing on to his dorm.
William didn’t look away until Ganji was out of sight, pushing the exit door of the stairs open and disappearing. Maeve tapped William softly, confused.
"What happened? He doesn’t look happy."
"It’ll pass." William mumbled in reply. "Don’t worry about him. Let’s go."
They descended the stairs together, unaware of the fact that Ganji never really left. He stood just outside of the door to the stairs, having heard them whisper about him. His eyes felt heavier than the feeling in his chest.
It’ll pass. I’ve heard that one a couple times.
Ganji approached William’s door number, touching the key against the lock. It lit up and unclicked, allowing him to step inside slowly. There were tiny meows that told him Cricket was nearby, so he was cautious when he entered the room.
Sure enough, she pounced out from behind the stack of boxes, skipping over to his feet. Cricket meowed and rubbed her face against his legs. Ganji smiled, squatting down to scratch her behind her ears.
"Hi, baby. I’m back."
The kitten purred and held onto his fingers, licking his palm. Ganji gave her one more good, loving scratch before standing up. He wanted to get this done as fast as he could, before they came back.
He weaved past Cricket, dodging her futile attempts at trying to catch his feet like it was a fun game. Ganji approached the kitchen counter and grabbed the box cutter, clutching it in his hand tightly. He eyed the first box he saw, and he took it off of the pile and set it down on the bed. It was labeled in his handwriting— "clothes."
The batter stabbed the tape with the box cutter, tearing at it until he could pry the flaps open with his hands. Ganji found the empty closet on his side of the room, and he went back and forth, arranging his clothes on hangers and neatly folding and stacking his things.
When he finished unloading his first box, he turned on some music on his phone to let himself feel less tense. Having Cricket there as company took his mind off of everything, and Ganji eventually found himself getting settled in as he emptied out each box.
He fixed his mattress, sheets, comforter, and pillow on his bed, remembering to plug in his charger when he found it. Ganji decorated the empty desk with his books, a few trophies, and photos of his family and relatives. He sorted his stuff that belonged in the kitchen, leaving it on the counter to organize later.
It had been an hour and a half or so since William and Maeve left. He got a lot accomplished, and he was happy with his work. All Ganji really had left was to set up his stuff in the bathroom, the kitchen, and the rest of his posters and medals on the wall. It was almost feeling less like a prison.
He took a break to play with Cricket. She had wandered off somewhere in the dorm, and he had to search the entire room to find her hiding spot. Ganji heard scratching from the cardboard boxes, and he wasn’t surprised to see she managed to sneak her way inside one of the empty ones.
Ganji sank into his bed, laying Cricket on his chest as he opted for a quick break on his phone. She sat down, tucking her paws under her body, melting into the comfort of his clumsy hands itching into her fur. A notification startled them both, but the batter was extremely anxious, hesitant to see who it was.
To his relief, it was Evelyn.
E: Hey! How are you?
G: I’m doing fine.
G: Just in the middle of moving into my new dorm.
E: New?
G: I changed rooms. My last roommate was a total asshole.
E: Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. What happened?
G: Total killjoy. We got into arguments everyday, over stupid things. I confronted him about it one day, and he went batshit crazy.
E: I see.. well, who’s your new roommate now?
G: It’s the guy I went to the cafe with.
E: Oh, your friend?
Ganji huffed. He didn’t feel like talking about William, but he backed himself into a corner.
G: Yeah.
E: That sounds pretty fun, at least. Getting to share a dorm with your friend is exciting. You guys can get closer that way.
G: Anything beats having to room with that guy again.
E: I hope you’re not having too much trouble moving in!
G: It’s fine so far. Thanks.
G: How have you been?
E: Busy, I guess. I’ve been so caught up in my work, and personal stuff.
G: That’s a good thing. I admire that you take your studies seriously. Though, I hope everything’s alright for you.
E: It’s nothing bad. Just a lot going on right now.
Ganji dropped his phone on his face when a knock scared the living daylights out of him. He shot up, spooking Cricket when she was just getting comfortable on his chest. The batter laid her down on his pillow, standing up to go open the door.
He only had to glance up once to know who was waiting outside. Ganji peered from behind the door, pushing it open for William to enter. It took him a second to see that Maeve wasn’t here, and that the forward came alone.
"Where’s—"
"She’s going to visit her family." William sighed blankly.
Ganji smelled a sweet and savory scent that lingered on the forward. It made him feel like he was starving, reminding him he didn’t eat anything in the morning. He’d probably go find something later.
When he turned away from William to finish unpacking, the forward slipped his fingers into the back of Ganji’s collar, pulling him towards him. He made a quiet choking sound, swiveling around with an annoyed expression on his face.
"What?"
"I brought you food, if you wanted it. Also bought a cappuccino— I remembered that you liked it."
William held up a small takeout bag and a cup of coffee, offering them to Ganji. He was nonplussed by the kind gesture, frozen in place as he gawked at it as if he were holding a human head.
"Uhm.. thank you." He took the bag and the drink, setting them down on the kitchen counter. William stepped inside and closed the door, leaving the two of them alone together.
Cricket climbed down the bed using the boxes as steps, meowing joyfully when she saw her owner. William picked her up and set the kitten on his shoulder. Ganji caught a full glimpse of his outfit, wishing to know where he could have gone while dressed so neatly.
"Did you go to the cafe?"
William sat down on his bed with his cat, playing with her as he focused on the batter cutting open another box.
"Yeah. How’d you know?"
"Just a guess." He shrugged.
Ganji let out a strained breath as he lifted the box, walking to the bathroom to sort through his stuff. William set Cricket down and got up to follow him. The batter could hear him just a few steps away, and he couldn’t care enough to snap at him and tell him to leave him alone.
He removed all of his hair products from the box, venturing around the bathroom to put his things in their respective places. William leaned against the doorway, watching him intently. Ganji tried to pretend that he didn’t mind him being there, but he couldn’t stand the pressure of having his eyes on him all the time.
"Did you come follow me just to stand there and admire yourself in the mirror?" Ganji hissed. He was crouched underneath the sink, trying to clean out the dusty space inside of the cabinets.
"Yeah," William laughed in response. "I’m just leaving it to you, since you look like you got this under control."
The small little flecks of dust in the air made Ganji suddenly sneeze, slamming his head into the face frame of the cabinet. William flinched at the loud bang that followed after, and the way the batter fell backwards onto the floor with his hand over his face.
"Shit. Goddammit.."
"You.. alright?"
"I’m fine." He grumbled. Ganji rubbed the red mark on his forehead, getting back onto his knees to continue cleaning out the cabinet to store his stuff.
"So, Ganji?"
"What?"
"Are you free Tuesday?"
Ganji let out an audible groan and stopped digging around in the cabinet. He rolled his eyes and shook his head, giving William an exasperated glare.
"I have practice. You have practice. Actually, you’re the one with an upcoming game. Don’t try to make plans at a time like this." He relaxed his shoulders, picking up his cleaning supplies and sliding them inside the empty cabinet. "It’s useless."
"I know, but why the hell would I care about that? Look, man, between you and me, I think we should try hanging out more again."
"Why do we have to do that? I live with you now— are you not satisfied with that?"
"What? No, of course I’m happy to have you around now. I just want more time with you, like.. one-on-one."
"Once again, I live with you now," Ganji mumbled through grit teeth. "I really don’t get what else you could possibly want from me."
"Are you still mad at me?"
"Annoyed, maybe."
"I said I was sorry." William crossed his arms, pressing his back against the wall.
"Saying it doesn’t mean anything. I expected you to know that. Yet again, you’re not the smartest person ever, are you?" Ganji closed the cabinet doors, standing up. "Move. I need to get something."
"Well, Ganji, hang on, dude."
William stopped him when he tried to shove past him. He grabbed Ganji by his shoulders, pushing him back into the bathroom and holding him so he would face him directly. The batter looked swayed by the abruptness of the action, but he kept a straight face.
"I’m sorry. I know I’ve been hanging out with her more. I don’t want you to think I don’t like hanging out with you anymore."
"William, I’m not jealous." Ganji raised an eyebrow, smiling. He raised his hand, politely lowering the forward’s palms from his shoulders. "And you’ve already told me that before."
"I don’t think you believe me."
"I’m gonna go eat."
Ganji brushed off William’s comment, sliding past him to go to the kitchen. The forward looked him up and down as he left, rubbing the back of his neck. He couldn’t collect his thoughts, and it was bad enough that he never knew what words to piece together to try and make someone feel better.
The batter called him stupid, but he was smart enough to know that Ganji didn’t respond to him accusing him of being doubtful because it truly was how he felt. How was he supposed to properly apologize if sorry didn’t fix anything for either of them?
William found Ganji in the kitchen, reheating the leftovers he brought home. Cricket stood at his heel, bumping her head into his ankles and circling around him. He never lifted his head to notice the forward observing him a few feet away. Leaning on the opposite side of the counter, he peered up at Ganji.
"How’s.. Evelyn?"
"What?" The batter huffed. He was in the middle of plating his food, casting a strange glance towards William.
"Is that not the girl you’re talking to?"
"It is, but.. how do you know her name?" Ganji raised an eyebrow with suspicion, until he was distracted by Cricket digging her tiny claws into his legs. He had to force her away before she hurt him.
"You talk about her."
"No, I don’t."
"Well, you told me her name before."
"I’ve never told you her name."
"Yeah, you have though. I remember." William sat down on a stool, leaning forward.
"I can assure you that I have never mentioned her to you before."
Ganji poked at his food, stabbing a small portion of a fluffy pancake with his fork and taking a bite. He let out a small groan of satisfaction, stuffing his mouth with the warm, comforting breakfast. William smirked at his funny reaction to his first meal of the day.
"It can’t be that good."
"Fuck.. mhf, shut up. Of course it is." He chewed and swallowed hard. "But anyway, I’m not sure why you suddenly care. Me and her.. she’s fine. We still talk. I just don’t bring her up because.."
"Because?"
"Because I actually want to take it slow? I’m not used to talking to someone like this. Unlike you, I prefer to keep my shit private." Ganji bit down on a piece of bacon, looking away. "You’re busy with your own things too."
"Talking to someone isn’t so hard. You just gotta adjust to it— get used to talking casually with another person, tell them what they wanna hear."
"Only you’d know that."
William ignored Ganji’s criticism with a small eye twitch. The batter took a sip of his coffee, unbothered.
"Are you and Maeve really dating now?"
"I.."
Ganji rolled his eyes with a low murmur. The delay in William’s answer was anticipated. Putting his hands up to signal for Ganji to wait for him to finish his sentence, the forward tilted his head in a half shrug.
"We are. We are dating."
"You sound unsure."
"Nah, I’m definitely sure."
"Well, that’s good."
Ganji nibbled on his fork. He seemed to be daydreaming about something from how faraway his eyes looked. Something convinced William that he was being judgmental about how quickly they got together, but who was stopping him?
William pointed at Ganji, smiling hard with a passionate look on his face. The batter was skeptical, returning a very perplexed frown at him.
"You know what, Gupta? I think you should make a move on Evely— mmgh—!"
"And I think you should shut up more often."
Ganji stared at him with narrow eyes, arching his brow. He had his fork in William’s mouth, silencing him with a sausage. When his hand flew up and grabbed his wrist, he gasped from surprise, pausing as William made him pull the fork out. They held eye contact for a few seconds— he could see the mischievous look in his face, and he was doubtful about what he was planning. The forward clutched his wrist, scaring him into dropping the utensil.
"Why don’t you make me?"
"Oh, god, William.. do you ever go a day without flirting with anything that talks or breathes?"
"Come on, Ganji.. are you really nervous? Your face is red."
"No, it’s not. Shut up." He blushed, trying to pull his arm away.
"Don’t deny it."
"Let go of me!"
Ganji growled at him as they playfully fought back and forth. He couldn’t force himself to be mad at William anymore. In the batter’s heart, he knew the only reason why he wanted to annoy him was because he was the only other person who would willingly give him attention at the moment. With Maeve temporarily gone, it was back to the two of them.
He was stuck as a second choice, whether he liked it or not. His appetite was ruined just from thinking about it— William felt his movements turn increasingly sluggish, and he stopped trying to tease him. He lifted his fingers enough to weakly let go of Ganji. The batter didn’t pull away. If anything, he felt empty without the touch.
"Are you done unpacking yet?"
"I’m almost done. I can do it by myself."
"You’re finished with your food?"
"I’m not hungry," he tugged his hand away and pushed the plate towards William, "you can finish it for me."
"No, I already ate. Here— let me help you with your stuff so you can rest." William got off of his stool. He stood over Ganji, sliding an arm over his shoulder.
"I swear, it’ll take a minute, so just let me.."
"I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll help you out, alright?"
Ganji blinked at him slowly, sighing with annoyance.
"Fine."
"Okay, let’s hurry!"
It was Tuesday. Ganji finally finished his training for the day, and he couldn’t help but feel sad about not being able to see William. The forward was so busy with training that he hardly had time all week to stop by and pay Ganji a visit.
They never really made amends, but things felt like they went back to normal. Ganji learned that if you ignore something enough, your brain will forget about it, even if it burns a hole through your heart each time it’s mentioned. It wasn’t a big deal anyways, and he knew his emotions got the better of him that day. William wouldn’t understand, so he had to suppress it to not worry him.
The batter packed his equipment and wiped the sweat from his forehead, leaving the cricket ground. As he was on his way out, he was following the trail until he saw a large group of men practicing on a big field. Just from where he stood, the number 13 was perfectly visible to him. He recognized the black locs that fell from the rugby player’s head; despite the helmet that hid his face, he knew who it was.
Ganji assumed that he was going to go through an excruciatingly painful practice, so he kept on walking, passing the field entirely.
He searched for a vending machine on campus and bought himself a Gatorade. The batter quietly stashed it away in his bag, heading back outside to check up on the forward. Ganji stopped at the fence that surrounded their practice ground, spotting another person watching the rugby players.
It was a girl— a girl he knew.
"Maeve?"
She spun around, frightened by the sudden voice. When she laid her eyes upon the approaching batter, a sweet smile formed on her lips, recognizing him.
"Ganji! What’s up?"
"What are you doing here?"
"I’ve been dropping by to watch William sometimes. He’s pretty good, huh?"
"Captain of the rugby team to you."
"I just can’t look away. The way he moves is so.. god, I don’t know. He moves very fluidly, and no one can keep up with him. He moves like everything just comes naturally to him."
"I guess you’re right." Ganji took out the Gatorade bottle, holding it out to her. "Can you give this to William when he finishes?"
"Huh? Oh," Maeve took the drink, nodding. "Of course. Are you leaving?"
"Yeah, sorry." Ganji fixed the bag slipping down his arm, rolling his shoulders. "Tell him I said hi."
"I will. Take care."
"You too."
It’s too weird for us both to be here. I shouldn’t be following William like a dog, anyway. Maybe I can go back and rest a little. He ran his hand through his hair, humming to himself as he traveled to his dorm.
William’s drills were torturous— there was no other kind of pain in the world that could compare to what he had to do to prep for games. He was on the verge of passing out after their training was complete, and his calves were spasming from the tension. It hurt to walk at all, but he trudged out of the field, hauling his stuff with him.
"William!"
Maeve ran towards him, shouting and waving a hand to catch his attention. He panted and caught his breath, spotting her in the corner of his eye. William lifted his arm and greeted her with a small side hug.
"How are you, Maeve?"
"I’m great! How’s practice?"
"I wanna fucking kill myself."
She laughed, patting his cheek apologetically.
"You’ll make it. Then, you’ll win for our school."
"Hopefully."
"Ganji stopped by earlier, and he—"
"He did? Where is he?" William blurted, the exhaustion leaving his eyes and his voice when his friend was brought up. He frantically looked over Maeve’s head, hoping to find him nearby.
"He went back to his dorm. He told me to give you this."
She put a bottle of Gatorade in his hands. William was overjoyed to feel something cold, and even more thrilled about having something to drink.
"Thanks." He cracked the lid open, chugging it hastily. William exhaled in relief, before raising an eyebrow at Maeve. "Why didn’t he stick around to watch, though?"
"He did, only for a few minutes. He never said why he had to leave."
"We can go find him, if you don’t have anywhere to be."
"Sure!"
Ganji anticipated William’s return ahead of time. After he sorted through his work, he changed into his workout clothes, sliding his compression sleeves on right as the door opened. His eyes fluttered when he glanced over for half a second, going back to what he was doing. He could sense the presence of more than one person.
"Found you, god." William sighed. He dropped his bag next to his closet, inviting Maeve inside. They sat down on the forward’s bed together.
"Nice to see you again, Maeve," Ganji ignored him. "Are you not busy?"
She looked confused to see him talk to her. Maeve turned to William with concern, but he glared weakly at the batter. His eyes scanned him up and down, noting his clothes.
"Nope. I’m not really in a rush, so I followed William back."
"That’s nice. At least you know how to keep him in check."
He fixed his sleeves over his arms, slipping on a bandana over his hair. Ganji turned away to check the weather and the time on his phone, reaching for his headphones on his desk. William stared at his back muscles that were barely visible from under his shirt, and the faint burn mark on his shoulder. There was a moment where he simply couldn’t take his eyes off of him.
As Ganji was putting his tennis shoes, William felt the need to stand up and question him. He walked towards the batter. The shorter man was crouched on the floor, trying to tie his laces, when he tilted his chin up at him curiously.
"Where are you going?" William asked, almost sounding demanding.
"I’m going out for a run."
"At this time?"
"What?" Ganji smirked. "William, it’s the evening. What do you mean ‘at this time?’"
"Aren’t you sore from practice?"
"No. But I bet you are, so do yourself a favor and leave me alone." He mumbled resentfully. "See you."
Ganji took a step towards the door, stopping himself. He turned around in Maeve’s direction. Softening his eyes, he smiled at her, hoping he wouldn’t intimidate her again.
"You too, Maeve."
"Bye, Ganji."
Once he left, the room fell silent again. William sat down at his desk, spinning in the chair.
"Is he mad at me?"
"He didn’t seem mad."
"Only to you."
"I don’t know. Does he normally act that way?" She shrugged.
"He’s very.. on and off. Sometimes, he has this thing where some days he’s happy and full of energy, but other days he’ll be depressed. I don’t know what to do about it."
"He has mood swings?"
"Yes!" William leaned back in his chair, raising one hand to his temple. "He’ll be funny one day, get annoyed with me the next, and then he’ll ignore me completely after."
"I don’t think you should be mad at him."
"I can’t help it. He’s always being confusing and he never lets me help him."
"Then talk to him about it."
"He avoids me all the time!"
"Talk to him tonight, then. I’ll— oh!"
Maeve was distracted by the sound of a meow from under the bed. She and William both noticed a furry animal crawl from the space. Cricket looked sleepy as she sniffed around, meowing with her tail patting the floor. Maeve leaned over and picked her up.
"As I was saying," she continued as she stroked the kitten’s fur, "I’ll leave so that you guys can talk privately after he comes back."
"He doesn’t like talking."
"Have you tried?"
"A lot of times! I just make him even angrier when I talk to him. He sucks at it."
"William, I told you, stop taking it out on him."
"What the hell does he want me to do, if I don’t know what’s wrong with him? I can’t read his mind."
"Give him some time. I think he’ll tell you whenever he’s ready— prying might be the reason why you’re pissing him off."
"I’m trying to be a good friend by checking up on him! What’s wrong with that?"
"Well, honestly, people try to distance themselves from others when there’s a problem because they think it’s better for the other person. It’s a defense mechanism for their emotions. Did anything happen lately that you think might be causing this?"
William squinted, looking away.
"No."
Maeve understood he was lying. But she was kind enough not to push him to say anything.
Ganji tapped his keycard against the lock, using his shoulder to push the door open. His run helped him destress and take some things off his mind. Feeling the cool air and the bed waiting for him just a few feet away made him smile with ease.
The batter shut the door quietly, taking his shoes off. He was too busy staring at his feet that when he looked back up, William was coming towards him. Ganji stiffened when he had nowhere to run to avoid him.
"We need to talk, man."
"About what?" Ganji set his shoes on a rack. "There’s nothing wrong, and I think we’re both tired. I need to—"
He tried to walk around the forward. William intercepted him, putting an arm up to block him off. He backed him against the door. Ganji huffed at his attempt to evade him, even more humiliated with how he was trapped like an animal.
"William, I don’t have time for this."
"You need to let me know what’s wrong." He spoke pleadingly, leaning over the batter.
"It’s nothing of importance to you," Ganji furrowed his brows. He dared to look William in the eyes, even if it made him breathe a little harder. Suffocation weighed down on his chest, and he expected what he was trying to confront him about. He wasn’t ready to admit it.
"It is important to me, because you are."
"I—"
"Why are you trying to ignore me?"
Jesus. I acted nice to Maeve like he wanted me to, and now he’s upset about me neglecting him. I don’t know what to do. How do I get out of this? Ganji bit his lip, breaking eye contact.
"I’m not trying to. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe it’s a coincidence."
"You can’t play it off. Please, can you just let me know what’s wrong so I can fix it?"
"Nothing’s wrong, so how about you let me go?" Ganji raised a dismissive hand, trying once again to walk away from the conversation. He was staggered by William’s speed when he grabbed the batter’s wrist and pinned it against the door, preventing him from getting away.
"Listen to me, goddammit!" The forward scowled. "I’m not an idiot. I know you’re pissed off about something. It’d help if you told me what, or why."
"It’s nothing! I don’t know what else to tell you!" Ganji shook his head, glowering at him with frustration. "Even if there was a problem, it’s mine, not yo— ugh—!"
He opened his mouth and cut himself off. William grabbed his jaw, cupping his face while leaning in close to him, a few inches from his nose. He held Ganji’s head up so he wouldn’t look away.
"I’m your friend. I’m trying to look out for you. Why won’t you let me?"
"Because you wouldn’t get it." Ganji closed his eyes when William squeezed his cheeks roughly. He was shaking, but he stood his ground. How did he manage to get himself into these situations?
"Help me out and let me understand you."
"Why would you care? Even if I told you what’s on my mind, you wouldn’t know what to say, right?" He swallowed nervously. "Or you’d find a way to tell me it’s because I’m fucked up in the head."
"Why would I say that?"
"You say stuff without thinking, after all."
William hesitated. He had Ganji glaring at him, his dusky eyes staring him down with the most contempt he had ever felt in his life. The batter was warm under his palms, and he was close enough to feel his breaths. The look in his face was unreadable.
"I don’t get you, sometimes."
"I told you so."
"Why don’t you ever try and talk to me? Do you trust me? I want to know what bothers you— it makes me feel useless knowing I can’t do shit."
"How do you think I feel? I can’t even trust myself, William. How could I trust you if I can’t even tell what’s wrong with me?" Ganji tried tilting his chin away. "I’m not good at communicating my feelings. I think you know that by now. I don’t want to burden you with it, so let me handle it on my own."
"You don’t have to do it by yourself. I.."
"I don’t want you to see me when I look weak. Let me go, and let’s pretend it didn’t happen. Don’t let it ruin your week— don’t let it distract you."
William redirected Ganji’s chin, so he would be facing him. It made the batter lightheaded seeing how close he was. He wondered what his next words would be, or his next move. William was so still. There was too much tension in their eye contact, and they both knew it, but neither of them cared enough to avert their gaze. He was so close.
Ganji was hot with anger and immensely full of shame. William felt something new arising; it was unknown to him— it was above compassion, admiration, and concern. Seeing how small the guy in his hands looked below him, he knew it would do no good to interrogate him.
After a heartbeat, William let go of his chin, doing something that was unforeseen by Ganji. He gently brushed his hand on his cheek, running his thumb over his nose scars.
"Fine. I’ll drop this," he straightened his back. "But, if you ever need me, I’m.. here."
William left him alone. Ganji was paralyzed, leaning back against the door. He ran his hand over his face and struggled to get a hold of himself. What kind of sick intimidation tactic was this? His stomach churned with uneasiness. He was sure that he’d never find himself completely open and vulnerable to William again— not when he was concerned with Maeve.
Friday was William’s game day. The whole week was uncomfortable for Ganji. He didn’t talk much with him, half the time being because he was already with other people, including his girlfriend. It felt like stabbing himself and twisting the knife into his body— his only escape would be his date with Evelyn on Saturday.
Despite steering clear of his friend, he couldn’t bring himself to miss the game.
The stadium was just filling up, and the amount of people in the stands made him claustrophobic. He didn’t see anyone he knew. Ganji settled for an empty area, sitting by himself.
He was waiting on his phone to pass the time, up until the rival team and Oletus both appeared on the field. The thunderous cheers and uproars from the crowd scared him half to death. Ganji looked around, squinting to see if he could spot a certain player.
The number 13 stood out to him, bearing the name "ELLIS" on the back. William was energetic and full of enthusiasm as his team made their entrance, laughing with his teammates and wishing them good luck before the game started. Ganji’s eyes were fixated on him, even during the match.
There was a reason why William was so popular; he was the fastest on the team, in terms of speed and reaction time. He had a strong arm that could send the ball spinning perfectly in the air in a beautiful trajectory, and careful hands when he caught it. The forward was untouchable when he was competitive.
Ganji felt incredibly jealous of him. For every touchdown they scored, the stadium cried his name with praise. He was so loved by everyone. What was he doing that Ganji couldn’t do? Why weren’t they on the same level? He was talented too, but why couldn’t he find that same level of recognition from people?
He saw William’s gorgeous smile from the stands. The rugby player raised a hand to the crowd, turning his back to Ganji as he did a small nod to a certain person. He searched the faces in the direction that William was looking at, and it didn’t him long to spot Maeve’s silhouette from afar. It wasn’t easy to see her face, but the white from her teeth told him that they definitely found each other.
At some point, the game stopped being enjoyable to him. He stuck around long enough to see Oletus win, as per usual, before getting up to leave. Ganji twirled his keys in his fingers, stretching his body as he headed for the exit.
William didn’t come back to the dorm that night. Ganji didn’t know why, and he insisted that he didn’t care that he was gone. The forward sent him a message after he finished showering and feeding Cricket, and he unplugged his phone from his charger, raising an eyebrow at the bright screen.
W: I’ll come back late. We’re going to a post-game celebration.
G: Okay.
Ganji tossed his phone onto his bed. It reminded him of when he ditched his own cricket celebration to try and spend time with William, only for him to leave for someone else. He wanted to gag at the thought. At least William had people that wanted him around, and didn’t make him feel like having him around was a chore.
Why would he care, though?
The morning of his date with Evelyn, Ganji woke up earlier than he normally did. He slept well enough so he would be in a good mood for the day, but he sat irresolute on his bed, staring at the wall. William was still sleeping with an arm thrown over his eyes, and Cricket was sound asleep in her bed.
He hoped that he would get everything perfect for his first— or, technically second— meeting with her. Ganji got up out of his bed to clean himself up for the day. He brushed his teeth well and washed his face, enjoying the quiet and the peace of being able to get ready in the morning like this.
His body tingled with nerves throughout. He’d never been on a formal date before— his phone had tabs open with first date tips and conversation starters so he wouldn’t mess up. Ganji hoped he had a chance at a relationship, to prove he was worthy of someone’s respect.
He wanted to ask William for advice, but then again, he wasn’t in the mood to tell him anything, especially his date.
Ganji needed to eat something well so he would feel good. He had the option to cook something— he bought groceries recently, and it’d help him improve his skills in the future. The batter smiled hopefully and opened the fridge, searching for ingredients. He thought about how many servings he should make; he was originally planning to cook for himself, but upon seeing the forward’s current state, he would make him a portion just because.
William shifted awake when he smelled something delicious in the room. His eyes were half open before he rubbed it, seeing Ganji in the kitchen cooking something. He quickly got out of his bed to investigate.
The batter was walking back and forth to the stove, the counter, and the microwave, occupied with trying to plate everything. He saw William had woken up, looking at him once as acknowledgment. Ganji tried to focus when the taller guy came and peered over his shoulder.
"I didn’t know you could cook."
"Of course I can," Ganji rolled his eyes. "My mother would grill me if not. I had to help her cook because of my siblings."
"What are you making?"
"You’ll see."
"Alright," William smiled. "What’s the occasion? You look happy."
"Nothing special." Ganji lied. He lifted two perfectly fried eggs off the pan and slid them onto two plates. They draped over the slices of avocado toast perfectly, with runny yolks dripping down the egg white. William marveled at the beautiful plating of the food.
"You can sit down and wait. I’m almost done."
"Thanks. I’m gonna go to the bathroom, and I’ll be back."
William left to go do his morning routine, and Ganji hummed to himself as he continued cooking. Both the plates had eggs and kale, avocado toast, strawberries, and tomatoes arranged in an organized pattern. He set them on the table before going back to the kitchen.
Ganji prepared two bowls of oatmeal with Greek yogurt, strawberries, bananas, chocolate, and peanut butter for both athletes. He had protein shakes prepared as well, and after setting up breakfast, he admired his work. Once William came back, he would eat with him, so he got a headstart on cleaning the kitchen.
The forward came back, yawning and stretching his arms. He got a good look of the food in front of him, widening his eyes in disbelief.
"Goddamn!" He sat down, studying each item. "Are you sure today’s not a special occasion?"
"Maybe." Ganji laughed softly while wiping down the counters. William wondered what could have gotten him in a good mood— whatever it was, he missed seeing his smile and hearing his laugh so much, he was satisfied.
They both sat down at the table and ate together, although Ganji was rather quiet. William was sore from partying too hard last night, so the companionable silence made both parties feel at ease. William was the first to finish his food.
"You cook really well, Ganji." The forward complimented him while he washed the dishes. "That was the best thing I’ve ever had."
"Thank you.." He lowered his head bashfully. It was the one time he believed William was being truthful; he saw the guy’s plate, and he was sure to eat every last crumb.
"Leave your dishes, by the way. I can wash them."
"Alright. I’ll go check up on Cricket." Ganji finished the last spoonful of his oatmeal and drank a bit of his protein shake. He left the kitchen to find Cricket. She was stretching her limbs, rolling onto her back and meowing when she saw the batter. He called her over to the kitchen to eat her food.
"Are you going anywhere today, William?"
"Me?" William shrugged. "Not really. Maybe I’ll go to the gym or something. Did you wanna come?"
"No, I’ll be busy."
"If you say so. What are you up to?"
Ganji crossed his arms, leaning against the fridge. There wasn’t any point in hiding it now if he was gonna find out eventually.
"I’m going on a date today."
"What?" William turned the sink off, turning his entire body around. "What? Today? You just told me this now?"
".. yeah."
"Is this your first first date?"
Ganji nodded with embarrassment.
"Aw, fuck, why didn’t you tell me sooner? I can help you out, ‘kay? When is it?"
"There’s still time. I don’t go until 8."
"Let me give you advice."
It was 5 in the afternoon. Ganji was tense, but William’s help really did make him feel less self-conscious. After taking a shower, he stood in front of the bathroom mirror to see if he should shave. After thinking, he chose to go through with it. William assured him that it would be a good idea, since clean faces were typically appealing to most women.
The batter rinsed his face off and applied moisturizer and an aftershave on his skin, staring at his reflection. He practiced his smile as William instructed, but it didn’t seem right. Ganji leaned on the bathroom counter, groaning.
He flossed and brushed the hell out of his teeth until his arm was aching. Once he cleaned up, he changed out of his clothes into a finer-looking suit. William knocked at the door and called him name to check up on him.
"Is everything alright in there?"
"Yeah. I’m almost done, just give me a minute."
Ganji sprayed on a generous amount of cologne, fixing his curls. He had to calm himself down for a few seconds before he was ready to open the door. It creaked quietly when he peered from behind it, checking to see if William was nearby. The forward smiled encouragingly, motioning for him to come forward.
He looked at the mirror one last time before leaving the bathroom. Ganji wore a dark navy suit with a white button-up underneath, and his tie was detailed with small, intricate patterns. There was a moon-shaped lapel chain on his suit that made the forward stare for awhile, thinking about how beautiful it looked. He gazed towards the batter’s face, and he seemed remarkably alluring.
William lit up so brightly that it made Ganji wonder when he last looked at him in such a way. It made him jump when he was grabbed by his sleeve and yanked forward.
"You look amazing, Ganji. I think she’ll love it."
"I hope so."
William laid his hand on his shoulder. His hand slid towards his neck, fixing his collar. Ganji didn’t move away. He needed his help, after all. It made him laugh when William was distracted by his small lapel chain, using his finger to play with it.
"This is really fancy."
"I don’t wear it often— only on special occasions."
"This is a really special occasion. I’m glad I could see it. Now, show me your smile."
"What?"
"Come on, lover boy. You gotta have a good smile if you wanna steal someone’s heart."
"I can’t smile if it’s not natural." Ganji frowned.
"Try it. Come on." William grinned. He poked the sides of his body, hoping to get something out of him. His plan worked when he saw the batter crack a smile, trying desperately to push the forward away. Ganji’s softness had them both at peace. At last, he found that his world was bright again when they were together, in each other’s company. He blushed sheepishly.
"You’re gonna ruin my suit, William, get off!" Ganji threw his head back with a laugh, swatting him away.
"There you go. That’s perfect."
"Okay, okay. I think I’m ready." He brushed off his suit.
"Let me get a photo of you."
"Why, for yourself? You didn’t see me drooling all over you when you had your date." He shook his head. "I really should get going—"
"Please?" William held his phone up, holding his fist out as he waited for him to return the gesture. He resisted the urge to take a picture of Ganji’s pout at that instant.
Ganji thought about it; he had been so bent on keeping himself in a good mood all day, which technically meant keeping William happy as well. If it was the only thing he asked of him before he left, then it wouldn’t hurt to wait just a minute longer.
The batter raised his knuckles and pressed them against William’s in a soft fist-bump, smiling weakly while looking up at the camera. Once he heard the shutter, he moved away, sliding his phone into his pocket while grabbing his wallet and keys.
"I’ll see you when I get home."
"Stay safe."
"I will."
Ganji sat in his car outside of the place where Evelyn told him to wait. It was a short distance for Cypress’s dormitories, but he passed the time by looking on his phone. William sent him a photo of Cricket and her huge head mindlessly looking into the camera, holding a thumbs-up next to her face. He followed it with a "good luck" message. Ganji sent a heart to the picture, putting his phone away.
It took longer than he thought for Evelyn to come out, and he was beginning to feel anxious. Ganji scratched the back of his neck as he bounced his leg against the floor of his car, studying the school’s exterior. It had been 15 minutes since he got here.
The batter cracked his knuckles to calm himself down. He zoned out while reviewing everything William advised him to do: to be himself, to be natural, to be sure to compliment her and ask questions— not personal ones— and to always stay confident. That was honestly asking for a lot from Ganji, but he was looking for room for improvement.
Someone knocked on his passenger window, and he flinched. Ganji brushed his hand over his hair, glancing over towards Evelyn, who was leaning down to look at him with an awkward grin. She waved and pointed to the door, asking him to unlock it. He swiftly clicked the button by his left hand, and she stepped inside the car.
"Hi." She greeted Ganji.
"Hey."
The ginger girl tucked her hair behind her ear after she put her seatbelt on. Evelyn’s dress was a long, forest green, cinched at the waist and decorated with subtle sparkles. There was a silver piece at the center of her chest. Her hair looked shinier than he remembered, voluminous with even waves. She looked around Ganji’s car, before observing his outfit.
"You look nice."
"Thank you. You look beautiful. The green really matches you."
"You think so?"
"Of course. Ready to go?"
"Yeah."
They arrived at the Coeur d’Amour, already seated by a hostess. Ganji couldn’t shake off his nerves— the restaurant was crowded, and he was afraid of not being able to make the date work. But they were already here— he had committed to this, and he was going to go through with it.
He noticed that Evelyn was checking her phone frequently. Ganji rubbed his neck, looking around. Even if he didn’t show it, he was already stressing out— he wasn’t ready to say something, but he had to be the one to initiate the conversation.
"You said you’ve been here before, right?"
Evelyn hummed when she realized he was speaking to her. She set her phone screen-down on the table, fidgeting with her fingers.
"Oh— yeah, I have. I was here last year for a friend’s birthday dinner. It’s gorgeous, but I don’t see myself coming here that much. It’s too fancy." She chuckled nervously, brushing her hair behind her ear again. Evelyn shrugged when she made eye contact with him for two seconds before focusing her eyes somewhere else.
"What’s your favorite meal here?"
"There’s a salmon dish. It’s pretty good."
"I assume that’s the one you plan on getting?"
"Yeah."
"Are you getting any drinks?"
"Riesling."
"That sounds great."
The server came in as if on cue. With a notepad in hand, Ganji told him their orders— he settled for a pheasant dish, paired with a red wine. Evelyn wanted an appetizer, so he made sure to ask for one as well. Once the server left, they both leaned back in their chairs, looking equally uncomfortable. Evelyn was on her phone again, while Ganji was fixing the cuffs of his sleeves.
"How’d your friend find this place?"
"She likes French cuisine," she replied blankly, still looking at her phone, "back then, she heard about a new place in the city and wanted to try it out."
Ganji couldn’t help but feel like he was talking to a wall— William strictly told him to avoid turning his attention away from Evelyn at all costs, but he wasn’t prepared for the opposite to happen. He tried to play it off and continue asking questions.
"She had good taste. I haven’t been here before." Ganji tried his hardest to keep a smile on his face while glancing at her. "How long have you lived here?"
"Most of my life. My family wanted to move cities when I was younger."
"Do you like it here?"
"Sure."
"Would you ever think of moving anywhere else in the world?"
"I don’t know. Like.. Italy, or something."
The batter nodded in response. Neither of them spoke for about 10 seconds before the red-haired girl felt something was wrong. She put her phone down, blushing shyly while playing with her hair.
"How about you?"
"I moved here in middle school to play cricket. I used to live in India. If I had the chance, I’d really love to move back. Britain’s alright, but it’s the homesickness that gets to me easily."
"Awh."
Ganji and Evelyn talked for a little longer. It seemed oddly one-sided, as the curly-haired guy was asking more questions than she was. She responded to all of them, but very rarely did she ask a question about Ganji’s life. Moreover, her responses were a little bland, and lacked the information that he hoped to learn.
The server returned to their table with their wine and their appetizer, a small dish of ratatouille. The two shared their portions of the vegetables, talking more about themselves while eating.
As their conversation progressed, Ganji thought everything was going fine. Sure, she was on her phone a concerning amount of times whenever he was talking, but why should it bother him? It was her business. Evelyn wasn’t very great at holding eye contact, but he understood how she felt— it was frightening to talk to new people. He wished there was a way he could reassure her to calm her down.
Their meals arrived when they were starting to run out of things to talk about. Ganji felt relieved to give himself a break, but Evelyn looked cautious again. She spaced off while staring into her salmon, and the batter leaned his head to study her face.
"Evelyn? Evelyn, are you alright?"
Evelyn blinked, sitting straight again. She put her hands over her cheeks, laughing weirdly.
"I’m so sorry. Yeah, uhm.. I’m good, no worries."
"Okay." Ganji sighed. "Do you want me to take a picture of you? You look very—"
"No, it’s fine." She interrupted him, rather abruptly. Ganji was suspicious of her unusual demeanor.
"No problem."
He ate his meal quietly, seeming content with the taste of the meat. Ganji took a small sip of his wine and enjoyed himself, unaware of the fact that her food was still left untouched. Evelyn massaged her temple as she pondered over something to herself.
She got up from the table, confusing Ganji when he watched her step away with her hands clutching her long dress. Evelyn turned back to him, pointing somewhere in the restaurant.
"I’m gonna use the restroom."
"Oh. Yeah, go ahead, that’s fine."
The ginger girl gave him a weak smile before she walked off into the crowd towards the restroom. She disappeared into the crowd of people very quickly. Ganji sat alone at the table, sipping from his wine glass again. His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out curiously. It was none other than William.
W: How’s it going?
G: It’s good.
W: That’s amazing. When’ll you be back?
G: I don’t know. I won’t be gone for long.
W: Remember everything I told you. Keep it up!
G: Thanks.
He tucked his phone away, continuing to eat by himself. Ganji had observed that she barely touched her food, and the only things she had were the ratatouille and the wine glass with a faint lipstick stain on it. Something about it rubbed off on him in a bad way, but once again, he ignored it.
About five minutes passed since she went to the restroom. Ganji thought he could feel eyes on him for sitting alone like some kind of moron and eating by himself, when there was an empty seat in front of him. His leg wouldn’t stop tapping repeatedly on the ground, and this anxiety left something stuck in his throat.
He checked the time on his phone, and it looked like the minutes just added up. She didn’t come back for awhile, and it was making him panic. How long were girls supposed to take in the restroom? Was it better if he gave her a bit more time before messaging her?
Ganji waited a little longer, ordering another glass of wine while she was gone. She had been gone for 10, then 15, then 20 minutes. He stared at the abandoned seat across from him, and the fragrant salmon that was starting to lose its warmth and smell. Massaging his cheek, he couldn’t sit still anymore— he had to know if she was okay. He took his phone and opened Evelyn’s contact to send a message.
G: Is everything alright? You’ve been gone for awhile.
Instead of defaulting to "Sent", the message was marked as "Message Not Delivered." His eye twitched as he kept a smile on his face, thinking it was simply a problem with the service.
G: Evelyn?
The same pop-up followed his message in red, bold letters. He hated that he immediately knew what it meant; his blood ran cold as he dropped his phone onto the table, grabbing his hair with his hands. Ganji wanted to break something— the anger and betrayal that rippled inside of him was unexplainable. He let himself get tossed aside again.
Without wasting a second to think, he downed both his red wine and Evelyn’s half-empty glass.
She could have at least eaten her food, but she didn’t even have a morsel of it. Ganji couldn’t bear looking at the dish without feeling sick and shaken up. His own food didn’t taste any good to him either— he felt increasingly nauseous and exhausted. Evelyn was lucky that she could do something so effortlessly and not worry about the consequences. If she wasn’t interested in him, that’s all she needed to say. Why did she make him waste his time— and his money— if she wasn’t planning on staying?
Ganji had to pay the entire bill, and he did so begrudgingly. The server didn’t say anything to him; he spared the batter a pitiful glance as he took his card, thanking him. He took the leftover food home for William, because he knew that he couldn’t eat it without stomaching the fact he got ditched on his first date.
The wine wasn’t bad enough to impair his driving, but it definitely heightened his emotions more than he would have liked it to. Ganji had his hand over his head the entire ride home, gripping his steering wheel until he could see the veins under his skin. At red lights, he covered his face and tried to think about what he did wrong.
Was he destined to live a life without luck? Every good thing that ever came to him ended up being deceiving, and the one time he thought that the universe was generous enough to give him another chance, he was proven wrong. Nothing came his way, and nothing stayed. Ganji was a miserable man— it was the one thing that was true about the rumors that followed him everywhere.
He thought about how he’d come home to William, how he’d be bombarding him with questions about the date. Thinking about the forward’s face worsened his current mood. Ganji felt insecurity around him, and it filled him with rage. William lived a better life than him, and all he ever did was shove it in his face.
It was awful— he was a talented athlete that was truly loved by others. He had everyone wrapped around his fingers. He had a wonderful, kind, and loving girlfriend that cared about how he felt. He was surrounded by people that wanted him around. William was friendly by nature— he was lovable. Ganji was repulsive no matter what.
The batter itched at the back of his neck, progressively scratching harder until his skin was burning and tainted with red marks. Everything he did up to this point suddenly felt worthless; what he did to make himself fit in, to be approachable, to be good. He couldn’t change his fate, and he knew that. Why couldn’t he come to terms with himself?
The drive took years to get back to the dorms. Ganji avoided everyone as best as he could, briskly speeding past the front office. He staggered up the stairs, tripping once, then twice. It took him a few minutes to get to his floor and find his room. The batter set the bag of food down to find his wallet, tapping his keycard against the lock.
William was sitting in his bed with Cricket after he came fresh out of the shower. She was eating at his shirt, stopping when she heard the familiar door click a few feet away. The kitten meowed excitedly at Ganji’s return. Her owner was equally thrilled to see him, jumping off the bed to greet him.
"Hey, you’re back! How was it?"
Ganji shook his head at him, looking at the floor with heavy eyelids. He brushed a hand through his curls, mumbling slurred words under his breath after leaving the food from the restaurant on the counter. William raised an eyebrow, walking up to him.
"Are you okay?"
"Shut up and leave me alone!" Ganji snapped, shoving him away. "Just shut up. Stop asking me about anything.."
The batter let out a heavy sigh and took off his coat, tossing it onto a chair before raising his hands to fumble with his tie. He was indignant about what happened at the date, and another word from William would make Ganji bite his head off. His fingers were clumsy as he trembled— William was reluctant to say anything when he remarked how badly he was seething.
"Ganji. Tell me what’s up."
"Fuck you, goddammit! Do you think you know everything?" Ganji successfully loosened his tie and left it hanging over his shoulders, diverting his attention away by leaning back onto the counter. "What the hell would you know?"
"Did the date.. not go well?"
"No, it was fine! It was perfectly fine!" Ganji laughed hysterically, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. "You’re so fucking dumb, it pisses me off. I can’t stand to look at you. No, of course not! The date was horrible! Can I even call it a date anymore after how quickly it ended?"
"It couldn’t have been that bad."
"You wouldn’t know. You wouldn’t fucking know!" Ganji kicked over a chair, and it hit the ground with a loud, frightening crash. William clenched his fists. It was obvious that he wasn’t completely sober, and whatever occurred at his date would make him lose control of his emotions. He tried to calm him down by holding his hands out.
"Okay, Ganji, hang on. Just listen to me, alright?"
"What? Like you’d have anything to say to me?" Ganji snarled. He pointed an accusing finger at William, pushing against his body. "I told you to shut the fuck up! Was I not clear enough the first time? Huh? Do you really know what to tell me, or is this an attempt to make yourself look like a good person?"
"What? No, Ganji, I’m just worried about you."
"Why do you always make me out to be this way? Why does everyone treat me like this?" He shouted, his breath rasping against his throat. "Am I insane? You think I’m fucking crazy, huh? Just like everyone else? Are you starting to think the rumors are true?"
"What ru—"
"Don’t act like you don’t know!" He threw his hands over his head. "It doesn’t do you any good to hide it. Everyone knows, so there’s no way you don’t. Has nobody ever told you to stay away from me? Has anybody ever told you that I might be dangerous?" Ganji pointed to himself, putting both of his hands over his chest.
William froze, thinking about when he texted Maeve a few weeks earlier. She mentioned something along the lines of that— hearing the words flying out of Ganji’s mouth, he was speechless. The batter’s eyes saddened when he recognized the expression on the forward’s face, how his lip twitched as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t.
"You knew, and you ignored them?"
"I didn’t believe them. I would never believe them, Gupta. I know in my heart that you’re a good person. I’ve been around you, and I’ve seen what you’re really like!"
"No, you haven’t! You’re wrong again! You don’t know anything about me! What makes you think you have the right to decide whether you know who I am or not?"
Ganji’s voice cracked. After a long pause, he looked William right in the eye, letting his arms drop to his sides.
"I hate the person you are, William."
William didn’t reply. His lips tightened, as to give the batter more time to speak.
"What, so now you won’t say anything back? I’m talking shit about you right in your face, and now you think you’re man enough to hold back this time?" Ganji raised his voice with a smug grin on his face. "Do you know all the times you acted this way to me too? Remember if I did anything at that moment?"
".. What are you talking about?"
The curly-haired guy pointed to their door. William’s eyes batted towards it, and he shook his head, waiting for clarification.
"You had me pinned against that wall, and you were basically trying to force me to talk to you. You never apologized about that, either."
"I’m so sorry."
"Forget it. It’s too late— and that’s besides the point. You wanted to get me to open up, but you were never aware of how you executed it. I was fucking scared of you. Even if I felt like telling you what was wrong, I was horrified at seeing someone I— someone I trusted trying to push me into admitting my weakness.
Do you ever take a second to think about I really feel? I’m no stranger to pity, William. I can tell when someone really wants to know if I’m alright and when someone just— just fucking feels like shit seeing the state I’m in. Either that, or they’ll take advantage of it to belittle me."
The batter stopped to catch his breath, rubbing the side of his face. He was warming up, and the wine was starting to kick in and disrupt his cognition— but there was no point of return.
"I never tell anyone how I feel. Because they don’t care. It’s too much energy to try and help someone, you know. I bet you realized that, right?" Ganji laughed pathetically. "If I ignored everything.. if I told you not to talk about it anymore.. I swore I’d forget about it. But it didn’t work. It— ah, shit. William.. you’re a walking reminder of everything I hate about myself. It’s why I don’t like you."
William was only a small distance away from Ganji, but he felt farther away than ever. It might have been the first time he had to stay and listen to someone talk to him like this. A conversation like this for him was unfamiliar— and it could’ve been volatile.
Ganji couldn’t control his emotions. William didn’t understand them. What could they have done?
The forward was in awe of him. His words had struck him deeply, and he was beginning to see the batter in a new light. He wanted to understand him, to feel him in every way. Seeing how isolated he felt encouraged William to try harder and hear him out.
"Tell me what you mean by that. What do you hate about me? Tell me everything. I’m listening."
"You want to hear me criticize you? Really? That’s so unlike you, Ellis."
"Go on."
"I hate everything about you. I hate your snarkiness, I hate your stupidity, I hate your deceitful personality, I hate your arrogance, I hate how you’re a womanizer, and I hate how short-tempered and stubborn you are.
I hate the sport you play, I hate you and your stupid teammates, I hate that you’re naturally social and everyone loves you, I hate that you know what people want to hear, and I hate how well you can talk to people."
Ganji exhaled, stepping closer to William as he listed more things about everything he despised about the forward. He made sure that William was listening; he kept a steady gaze, hoping that he knew he meant every word.
"You have a perfect life! You’re loved, you’re wanted, you’re smart, you’re athletic, you’re funny, you’re kind and so, so painfully beautiful that you could clearly have any girl in the world and still never be satisfied with her.
"That’s why I hate you. You have everything I want, and it’s not fair. Everything is yours, while nothing is mine.
"I’m not sure why you even wanted to be my friend. Maybe you lost a bet, maybe you planned on making my life miserable ever since you knew me. You did it. I know that you go on and get rid of people once you’re bored of them. I won’t let you ruin me like this.
"William Ellis, I hate you more than life itself, and I hope you fucking—"
William moved so fast that Ganji’s brain lagged and couldn’t process anything in time to react. He felt his calloused hands on his cheeks, and they harshly crushed his face between his palms. Everything after that was a sudden mirage.
Chapter 6: Tensions
Summary:
.. How did I let this happen?
Notes:
hello. i am so sorry for posting slow im so busy.
Chapter Text
Ganji gasped just as William dipped his head down to kiss him. The ferocity of it almost knocked him off balance— thousands, millions of thoughts flooded his brain, asking so many questions. Why was he kissing him? He had never kissed anybody before. Why was it William? Why did William do it first? He had a girlfriend— why did he go for it? They were friends— why did he go for it?
William’s lips were burning, and his mouth was reminiscent of a powerful minty taste that lingered on Ganji’s tongue. They felt so plush, and the batter had a fleeting thought cross his mind, telling him that everything about this was wrong, horribly wrong, both to himself and Maeve.
Ganji tried to break the kiss off. He put his hands on William’s shoulders and pushed gently, getting enough room to breathe. There was little to no time for him to open his eyes and look in front of him before the forward rushed to close off the space between them, pressing himself flush against his face.
William was starving for something this passionate and real. His hunger for Ganji only made him lose his senses and discipline, turning him a man with unrestrained desires. He had one goal: to prove that he did sincerely love the batter despite his flaws.
He knew he had control over the kiss— Ganji was in a daze, murmuring William’s name every time he tried to move away to get air. One second without him made the forward dissatisfied— the warmth of his face brought comfort like no other. William kissed him hard, ramming his nose against his scars, pulling him closer. The way Ganji grabbed at his sleeves while being so lost and disoriented made him smile.
"H-hang on.. William.."
He moved his head away, slowly taking a few steps back. His face was bright red all the way to his ears. William tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear, caressing his cheek with his finger.
"What? What is it?"
"Were you not listening to a word I said? I told you how much I hated you, and you thought the next best thing to do w-was to—"
William advanced once more, pulling him in for another longing kiss— his motions, which were careful and delicate before, increased in intensity when he ran his tongue across Ganji’s lower lip. His boldness left him stunned. Despite how much he loved how it felt, Ganji continued to cut the kiss short to speak, backing up more.
"William.. this isn’t—"
His parted mouth gave William an opportunity to silence him again. He navigated his hands up to Ganji’s waistcoat, unbuttoning it hastily. A low groan and a tug at his arms encouraged him to keep going. He had an idea of what Ganji was trying to say— he himself knew what they were both thinking.
William didn’t know why he kissed him— he couldn’t think of another way to comfort him. The moment felt right, but now he realized it was bad timing. Everything about this was dangerous— his friendship, his relationship with Maeve, and how Ganji was intoxicated.. even if it was a small amount. The kiss must have triggered a rush of emotions in his body, and if he went any further, the batter would cave in. He’d feel so good that it would inevitably take William down with him. Ganji wouldn’t turn back.
Neither would he.
Ganji couldn’t stop his heart from bursting. Each time William went back and kissed him, his tongue would impatiently push against his, biting his bottom lip as if he forgot that the batter had no experience in this. He hated to say it out loud, but this moment in his life he had feared and dreaded for so long— having his first real kiss— felt like a dream come true.
No, he reminded himself, I can’t be doing this. I shouldn’t be doing this.
They had moved so far away that they were no longer near the kitchen. Resisting the urge to kiss him back, he moved away, opening his eyes to look at him. Ganji rested a hand on William’s cheek, panting quietly.
"Did you have to prove me right?"
"About what, Ganji?"
William mumbled as he slid his hand along his jaw, holding him by his chin and tilting his head back. The simple gesture enticed him, and he was beguiled by the forward. His hand slid down William’s cheek, touching the side of his neck.
"Everything I said."
"I want you to tell me what. Tell me again."
"I hate you." Ganji slurred.
"Yeah? You hate me so much, huh? Yet, here you are. It’s like you can’t get enough of me."
"You’re awful. Stupid, foolish.. you have everything you want, but you still can’t make up your mind about who you want?" He hissed. "I hate you— but you really are a cunning man, and now I understand why everyone falls in love with you so easily. You know how to get your way."
"Did you say you love me?"
"Nonsense. You know that’s not true. Even if it was, I could never date you."
"Oh, why not?"
William nudged Ganji backwards against the door. He pulled his waistcoat off, throwing it where he left his jacket. Slowly, he guided his hands down the sides of his body and brushed his hips. The batter placed his hands on his shoulders, angling his head so he was only a few inches from his lips. Ganji’s eyes flickered down towards them before meeting William’s gaze.
"You’re no good for me."
"I can be the best you’ll ever have."
"I want to believe it, but you’re a liar; how many other people did you swear the same thing too?"
William gave him an uncomfortable, tight-lipped smile. He looked away once.
"It’s the truth, though. What else can I say?"
"You’re full of pride. Are you not ashamed?"
"No, not one bit. I stopped caring about what everyone thought about me. I’ll do whatever I want."
"You know what I think about you, Ellis?"
"Yes. I’d love to hear what you have to say about me, Gupta."
"I trusted you. I was so happy to be friends with you. I thought you liked being around me. But now that I look at the wretched person you are, all of it seems nothing more than just an act. Will I ever have a chance to stand next to you? Will you overshadow me for the rest of my life?"
Ganji laid his forehead against William’s. He knew he was opening up too soon and he was showing his vulnerable side again. With his drunken state, it was a recipe for disaster. How far was he willing to go, when he had William right where he wanted him all this time? The forward’s hands were massaging him gingerly on his waist, almost convincing him to push everything aside and give himself up to William.
Ganji understood that he was in too deep to push him away now. He was digging his own grave.
"I wish everything was normal again. But because of you, it’ll never be normal. You approached me, cast me aside when you didn’t need me, and now you’re suddenly crawling back— acting like you’ve loved me for years. Just leave me be. I don’t want to be your second option, just because Maeve isn’t always around."
"No, oh, fuck, Ganji. I want you so bad."
"Why do you try so hard to be difficult?" He shook his head sullenly. Ganji cupped William’s face, resting his thumb over his lip.
"It’s not my fault, and I mean that. I just feel this way around you— I don’t know what other explanation there is." William argued.
"You can’t have everything. Just accept that! Why couldn’t you solve your own fucking problems before roping me int—"
William smashed their lips together in a last-ditch effort to get him to shut up. He didn’t want Ganji to lecture him any longer. The taste of him was like a drug, addictive in all the right ways. The forward never took him as someone who reveled in wine— he tasted so sickeningly sweet and delicious, acidic and sour. It fit his personality.
Ganji’s senses were augmented by the drinks he had earlier. Everything was sensitive— wherever he felt William’s hands or lips, he made him shiver. The kiss itself was already so sensual. He could physically taste William’s desperation and his yearning. Ganji couldn’t reject him— he finally reciprocated the kiss out of sentiment, kissing him like it’d be the last time he’d see him again.
He poured his years of bottled up anger and affection into it, opening his mouth wider, allowing William to remind him how a person felt in his arms. Ganji’s years of isolation made him lonely— he craved this for far too long.
His jaw was aching and his head was spinning, but not once did he ever think about stopping. Ganji was delirious. This attention was a one-time thing, and he was certain of that, so he would savor every last bit of it to think about in the morning.
Sliding his arms over William’s shoulders and around his neck, he pulled him in, his shoulderblades colliding with the door behind him. Ganji was startled by the rattle from him bumping into it, worrying he’d wake up their neighbors. He was caught off guard by William interrupting the kiss to give him a second to breathe. Moving his arm away from Ganji’s body, he reached towards the lock, securing it shut.
"Are you serious about this?" Ganji huffed.
"Are you doubting me?"
"What if I was?"
"Oh, Ganji," William purred, hugging him with a long, gentle kiss to his jaw. "I know you’re mad at me, baby. You want to feel loved by someone, right? Remember what I told you in the car, when we were leaving the cafe that one morning?"
The batter shook his head, his brain too fogged up to recall anything. He wanted to kiss William again— him talking against his skin sent faint vibrations down his neck and induced a fluttery sensation in his stomach. More importantly, he so casually referred to him by a pet name. His knees were about to fail him right then and there.
“Back then, I told you.. if your thing with Evelyn didn’t work out, I would still be here for you. Did I lie about that? No, I was honest with you— because I would do anything for you. I meant it when I said you were so important to me."
William saw Ganji’s eyes dilate in real time. They were big and full of wonder, deciphering his words and his intentions. The batter’s hands gripped the forward’s shirt ineptly, trying to murmur a response. William let his lips fall upon his, squeezing his waist to console him. He could feel the indent of his scar on his lip— and god, how everything about him felt so right. Ganji spoke through short gasps because of how persistent William was with his fast-paced kisses.
"If you.. if you think I’m important," he hiccuped, "why haven’t you been treating me like it?"
"I’ve been trying. You kept pushing me away."
"Wh- ugh, f-fuck.. what the hell was I supposed to do?"
"Why have you been fighting it? Tell me the truth. I’m all yours."
"No, you’re not.. William, don’t tell me things like that.."
"It’s just you and me, baby. I’m right here for you."
With a rough kiss, he tilted his head against Ganji, snaking his hands down under his thighs. He picked him up and used the door as support, pinning him against it. Ganji’s back crashed against it, and he was reluctant about this new position, but he understood what to do.
His hands scrambled to grab fistfuls of William’s locs, pulling gently so he wouldn’t move away. Ganji could hardly erase the thought of his hands being under his thighs, pressing deeply into his skin. The batter sobbed from the pain and exhaustion in his face, overstimulated by everything.
William was kissing down his neck for some time, whispering sweet nothings softly against his ear. Ganji squeezed his legs tighter around the rugby player’s waist, lifting his chin up. He felt dirty when he thought about how he was just another person who made the unfortunate choice to catch feelings for him. But with every brush against his skin, his worries slipped out of his head.
"Just how long do you intend to put up with me? Until you’re bored all over again?"
"No. I want you to stay." William kissed his lips, as light as a feather.
"You’re always thinking about what you want.. what about me? There’s nothing left for me besides cricket. Why should I stay?"
"Because I need you."
"Are you the drunk one here?" Ganji grinned. "You’re crazy. Why do you decide to tell me everything now, when you already have so many good things? Why risk it when you know the consequences?"
"I’d rather take the risk than lose the chance."
"You’re a loser; a stupid, miserable, pathetic loser."
"What do you know about love, Ganji?"
"I know just about as much as you do. I never cared for love, nor did it care for me— it was never on my side."
"That’s why I’m here! Don’t you understand?"
"William Ellis, I can’t fucking stand you!" He held William’s face, one hand reaching to grab his locs. "Love is destructive, and you’re proving it. Look at you— look at us, goddammit— we’re a mess, and it’s your fault."
Hurt flashed across William’s face for a moment. With a downcast look, he opened his mouth, hoping to say something in reply.
Instead, he bit him— right in the space between his neck and his shoulder. He bit Ganji hard, as if he intended to tear through his flesh. William ignored the way the batter’s head fell forward, muffling his pained scream by clenching his teeth down on his hand. Ganji slowly pulled his hand away from his mouth. His hand trembled so vigorously upon seeing the deep teeth-marks in his skin— he was afraid to see what it looked like on his neck.
"Why did you do that? William, why did you—?!"
"I want you to be mine."
"No— no! There’s no way in hell!" Ganji touched his fingers against his skin, and it burned like fire.
"Why is it my fault? I can’t make up my mind? I want to be loved too, Ganji. I want someone to tell me they care about me, to praise me and let me know how much I mean to them. I want someone to tell me I have a beautiful heart."
"Isn’t that what you’ve been getting your whole life?"
"I don’t want to hear it from them, I want to hear it from you! I love you."
"Wanting to be loved is different from loving, and clearly you don’t get that! Can you think for once in your life and hear what I have to say?"
"There’s so much I want to tell you. But I know you won’t remember any of it— any of this— in the morning. What’s the point of doing any of this?" Willliam carried him away from the door. "Let’s.. calm down for a second."
"Don’t tell me what to do if you started this."
Ganji hugged him tightly, resting his head on his shoulder. He combed his fingers through William’s locs.
The forward gently lowered him down onto his bed, watching him intently; his knees sank into the mattress while straddling over Ganji, pinning one of his hands down. He brushed a stray curl from his face. As William found himself infatuated with his friend, more than he should have been, the batter leaned his head back into the pillow and looked at him invitingly.
"I hate that I’m enjoying this."
"I’m surprised that you said that out loud. Why, though?"
"You know why. You have a girlfriend. This is unfair to her— us included, actually."
Ganji sighed. William hovered over his body, pressing his face against his neck to kiss him more. He tried to stay still and keep a straight face, lifting his head up with a stern look. His wrist was held down by the rugby player, whereas his free hand rested on his chest, tugging at his dress-shirt uncomfortably.
"She’s not my girlfriend." William confessed after a long pause. Ganji widened his eyes, stopping the forward.
He pulled his hand free and adjusted his arms to sit up on his forearms. The batter seemed betrayed, or even disturbed, by this abrupt revelation. William was remorseful for acknowledging he couldn’t commit to her, and how it pushed him to go for Ganji.
"You.. were never dating?" He asked, in a soft-spoken whisper.
"I never asked her out. Not even after the first date. We were just.. like this."
"Why did you lie about it?"
"I didn’t want you to nag me again. I didn’t want you to think I was using her— that wasn’t what I was trying to do. I also.. wanted to get a reaction out of you."
"Me?"
"I wanted to make you jealous."
"Well, you did it. Are you proud of yourself?"
"Yes and no. I didn’t want to hurt you this much, but I wanted to know how much you liked me."
"Do you want the truth? Do you want the honest truth?"
"I’ll listen to every word you say."
"I am in love with you. I’ve felt this way ever since we went out on that very first night— I knew you were special. I’ve been raised to love people, but it never did me any good. I swore I wouldn’t let it happen again— but you changed my mind. I want to love you, more than anyone else." Ganji rambled quickly.
"But why would you ever let me do that? I’m no human— I never felt like myself, and my past has left its mark on me—now nobody wants me near them. What do you see in me? What do you find about me that’s so beautiful that you’d go as far as to deceive Maeve?"
"You are everything I’ve dreamed of. I’ve always been drawn to you by nature. When I looked at her, I could only think of you, and I didn’t know what to do with myself."
"Will you still be dating her, even after this?"
".. I don’t know. But I’m starting to think that you’re right. I was always the one being chased by others, but I never quite thought I’d find myself chasing after someone this desperately. I’ve been loved by people, but I couldn’t give it back to them. Everything was easy. Why does this have to be so hard?"
"Maeve is perfect, and she’s so much like you. She’s better than me, and I feel envious about that. Why can’t you just be happy with her? She’ll treat you better than me— she knows what she’s doing!" Ganji cried.
"She’s not you."
"You have all of these wonderful people in your life, and the smartest thing you could possibly think of was to pursue someone you can’t have? I hate you. I hate you—!"
"Ganji, I don’t care if you’re going to ignore me—"
"— stop, please, why did you do this—?"
"— I can’t just stop loving you—"
"— stop loving me! Just don’t think about me at all—!
"— I love you, Ganji Gupta, and I will always be thinking about you for the rest of my life—!"
"— you’re throwing everything away for me? I won’t let you do this to yourself—"
"— this is what I want, you can’t deny that—"
"— you promised me that you’d take care of yourself if you couldn’t keep your relationship with Maeve, but how could I have known that this would happen? I don’t want to ruin it."
"But we love each other. What can you do about that?"
"I’ll die with that secret. If it means your life goes back to normal, I’ll forget I ever felt anything for you, and I’ll— I’ll go back to watching you from afar."
"But I don’t want you to. I want you next to me."
"You can’t have everything in the world. I told you so."
"Why can’t we be together?"
"You’ll be ostracized for being with me. I want it as much as you do."
Ganji’s eyes relaxed, shifting from frustration to a look of defeat and acceptance. The corner of his lips strained as they twitched uncomfortably, and he shrank under William’s stare. He looked away and shook his head with a small shrug.
"I wish you took everyone’s advice and left me alone. It’s not to late to go and forget you ever knew me."
"Fuck, you act like forgetting how much you love someone is the easiest thing in the world! You always say this. Ganji.. do you not think you’re worth remembering?"
"I’m not. I’ve been used all my life for entertainment, and I still let myself get walked over despite having my guard up. On that note, whatever you want to do to me, do it now."
"What?"
"Don’t look confused. I know that look in your eyes. I made you go through so much trouble— knowing the person you are, the least I can do is satisfy you to make you happy, right?"
"I don’t want that."
William nudged Ganji down onto the bed again. He leaned over him, both of his forearms on either side of his body. With one last begging look, he held the side of the batter’s face, touching his silver earring. He tickled the back of his ear with his fingers to see him blush one more time. His thumb gently traced along his face, following the lines of his scars on his nose.
"I know you were hurt back then. But your scars are by far the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen."
"How? They make me stand out."
"That’s why I like it. That’s why I like you."
Ganji couldn’t swallow down his sadness. His tears overflowed and rolled down his cheeks at the sweet gesture. Whether it was sincere or another method of William’s to let him forgive him easily, it touched his heart. He finally smiled, laughing childishly at him.
William smiled back at him. Slowly and deliberately, he brought his face closer to Ganji, waiting to see if he would stop him. The cricketer raised his hands and brought them to his shoulders, quickly sliding up to his neck. He peered down at his lips with half-lidded eyes.
"I think.. we’ll have to stay friends."
"I’ll still be in love with you."
"I never said it meant I didn’t love you either."
He closed his eyes, as did William, before leaning close. The forward kissed him so tenderly that relief washed over him briefly, like the calm after the storm. A moment of quietude and isolation in their room gave them the privacy they needed to let their feelings slip away and embrace each other.
Ganji never knew that loving was so exhausting— William never knew that wanting to be loved by one specific person was so hard.
William moved away from Ganji’s lips, lowering his head to his neck. Ganji exhaled slowly, putting a hand on the back of his hair to hug him. He had been pining for his attention for so long. Yes, it was clear that they were both smitten for the other, but in their current circumstances, there was no way that this would be socially acceptable.
Ganji rubbed at his face with the back of his hand. His head was throbbing, and he needed to get his frustration, resentment, and deep dejection out of his mind. William noticed how tense he seemed, and unbuttoned half of his shirt to make him feel comfortable.
"I know, baby. It’s okay. You’ve had a long day. I told you I don’t care if you cry."
".. oh, god, I’m so sorry.."
He turned his head away, letting out a muffled sob. William was leaving gentle bites on his collarbone— and he counted every one. The first one was strangely compelling; it snapped him awake when he felt the second of pain, but the fond, soothing kiss let him melt into the touch. During his state of confusion, he counted somewhere around six times.
Ganji was shaking and gasping for air as he restrained his cries through stifled whimpers. His grief was immeasurable. This was the most intimate thing he had experienced, and he still couldn’t find anything happy about it. William was suddenly perfect when it came to alleviating his pain; he brushed his lips against his scars plenty of times, on his nose and his chest, repeatedly telling him how much he adored him.
The batter dug his fingers into the forward’s shoulders, asking for him to kiss him again. William gave him what he wanted.
Just as Ganji was reciprocating the action, they were interrupted by a sad meow from below. William raised his eyebrows, getting off of him to look underneath the bed. Cricket was cowering in the shadows, calling for her owner.
"Oh, fuck, Cricket.. c’mere, baby. Come on.."
Ganji snorted at the way he was fishing his kitten out from under the bed. William raised Cricket in his hand, cupping her in his palm to bring her onto the mattress.
"Did we scare her?" Ganji mumbled sleepily, running his hand through his hair.
"Maybe. I’m sorry, Cricket." William scratched her chin, petting her down her back. She could hardly keep her balance from how hard he was stroking her fur.
Ganji laid back in the bed, observing how William was letting her nip his fingers. He regarded the kitten before glancing at her owner.
"Why did you name her Cricket?"
"Hm?"
"Why did you name her Cricket?" He repeated.
"You still don’t know?" William grinned. He nudged the kitten to walk over to Ganji, and she marched proudly up his knees and onto his thigh.
"I.. don’t. Was there a reason? All you ever told me was that it was funny."
"I named her after you. Your sport."
Ganji blushed momentarily, crossing his arms to try and hide his embarrassment. Cricket meowed at his face, pawing at his shirt.
".. should I ask why?"
"I didn’t really know what name to pick for her back then. You were the first thing I thought of."
"You’re dumb."
"I think you like it, though." William crawled over Ganji, laying on his side and pulling him into a hug. The batter hesitated, but he moved the cat out of the way so she wouldn’t get crushed. Cricket licked at his cheek gratefully.
"Hey, also.." William trailed off, stopping himself short like he was worried about the question being too personal.
"What?"
"What happened at your date? You never gave me any details."
"She was awkward as hell. On her phone the whole time. Conversation wasn’t going anywhere in particular. Eventually, she lied about going to the bathroom and fucking left me to pay the bill."
"She ordered something and just left?"
Ganji nodded.
"I’m sorry about that."
"I’ll move on."
"I could treat you better." William winked teasingly. Ganji laughed and put his hand over his face, shoving him away.
"Whatever you think."
"You should do something about your clothes, Gupta."
"Mmgh.. I’m so tired.."
"Go change."
"Fine."
Ganji scoffed. He handed Cricket to William, rolling out of the bed. His fingers fumbled with his dress shirt, checking over it for any stains. He opened his closet to grab something to wear before gathering the clothes he discarded earlier. Ganji took it with him to the bathroom.
William entertained Cricket while they waited for Ganji to come back. She engaged in a vicious battle with his hand, lunging at his palm while wrestling against it. The forward grabbed her whole head lightly, giving her a tiny shake. She meowed and smacked at him disapprovingly.
The batter emerged from the bathroom, quickly flickering the lights off. Even with the dimness of the room, his face was discernible— he was terribly red and nervous. He sat down on his own bed, across from William.
"What’s wrong?" William turned his head to him.
"I feel weird."
"Why?"
Ganji’s hand reached up to his neck, still fresh with the marks William was responsible for. He couldn’t contain his laughter and ended up snickering wildly in his bed, pressing his face into Cricket’s fur.
"It’s not funny. My teammates could see this." Ganji frowned.
"They wouldn’t know it was me."
"Still."
"It’ll go away. Anyways, what are you sitting over there for? Get over here."
"I- no, I think it’s fine—"
"It won’t kill you, Ganji."
"I know, it’s just.."
"Just one time."
Ganji sat on the edge of his bed, gripping the edge of his mattress. His heels gently bumped against the side rail as he ruminated on the suggestion.
"Okay."
He stood up and took a few steps towards William. Guiding himself onto the bed, the forward pulled him down much too eagerly, and he fell down onto the pillow. Ganji found himself eye-to-eye with William now.
"How are you feeling?" William smiled, pulling a blanket over both of them.
"I don’t know. Feels like there’s something I can’t shake off right now."
"I get it. Are you okay like this? Is it too hot?" William held his waist, offering a chaste kiss to his cheek.
"It’s fine. I just— oh, fuck— I can’t face you.. this feels weird."
"You can turn around."
Ganji nodded. He rolled over, having his back to William now. It made him flinch when the forward’s arms found their way around him again, inching closer until his chest was against his shoulderblades. William hid his face in the gap between Ganji’s collarbone.
"Is this better?"
"Very much. You’re warm."
Cricket climbed over his head and fell into his arms, struggling to wiggle her way into his grasp. He cradled the kitten and cuddled her close to his face, kissing her cheeks. William snuck his hands under Ganji’s shirt, tracing them along his stomach. The batter hummed quietly as he closed his eyes.
"Don’t push your luck."
"Are you gonna stop me?"
"Too tired."
"Excuses."
"How about you shut up and go to sleep?"
"Why?"
"I guess I’ll leave you alone."
Ganji scrunched his nose. He tried to sit up, bewildered at the sudden force that dragged him down almost immediately. William hugged him even harder, his large arms constricting and nearly suffocating him. They were both mindful of the kitten in his hands.
"Fine. But won’t you let me drag this out a little longer?" William mumbled against his ear.
"Just how long, William?"
"Until the morning."
"That’s fine with me."
The forward threw his leg over the batter’s, sighing quietly.
"This feels nice. I think, for the first time.. I feel happy."
"I wish I could say the same." Ganji laughed.
"You’re not happy?"
"Of course not. This is just depressing, if anything. Who am I kidding? I can’t pretend I don’t like you— I wish you waited a little longer or something."
"I’m sorry. I really couldn’t stop myself. You were right in front of me, and you looked fine as hell. You can’t blame me! I didn’t even think I was gay, but to be honest, you changed my mind."
".. oh, oh, wow. I— uh.. thanks.." Ganji covered his face, staggered by his bluntness.
"No problem, baby. And also, if you really want to date me so bad, I can break up with—"
"What? No, god, no, don’t do that."
"Why? Isn’t it better than hiding it from her?"
"Yeah, technically, but this is different. It’s too sudden, and I don’t even know if I’m ready for something like that. And also," the batter looked over his shoulder, "I heard that it’s unhealthy to date immediately after ending a relationship. Don’t you know that?"
"I’d do it for you. I don’t think I can wait that long."
Ganji stared into his eyes, and it was evident how William was hopelessly in love with him. It was strange to him that it came at such an inconvenient time— he couldn’t bear to see such an affectionate look anymore.
He released Cricket from his hands, lowering her down to the floor and letting her scamper off. The immediate second he rolled back onto the bed to speak, a hand touched his cheek lightly, and he knew what was coming.
William had done this so many times that Ganji naturally knew every action by memory. His kisses were soft, sweet, and always short— just like how he was. But even he could make an effort to let them last a few seconds longer. It was heaven on earth— if he could truly live a life with him, maybe that was all he needed.
Ganji closed his eyes and leaned into him, yielding to temptation.
I’m so fucked.
The morning after that fateful turn of events, Ganji found himself feeling extremely hot and uncomfortable. He was sweating profusely under the blanket. When the batter tried to open his eyes, he was blinded on the spot by the bright sunlight. A piercing headache hit him instantaneously, and Ganji shielded his face. As he tossed and turned in his bed, he was stupefied when he bumped into someone.
"Shit.. what..?"
He squinted, trying to familiarize himself with his surroundings. William was sound asleep, still resting his arms around Ganji’s body. The batter was slow to react, and when he realized what was happening, he froze. Shooting upright, something between a small shriek and a terrified yelp came from his mouth, and it spooked the forward into waking up.
William was still half-asleep when he wrinkled his nose and shook his head. He fixed his locs as he scratched his neck.
"What happened?"
"Why are you in my—" Ganji hesitated, looking around. He spotted his bed across the room, empty, just the way he left it before his date. "What am I doing here?"
"You got drunk last night. Do you not remember anything?" William smiled tenderly at Ganji, leaning over him to ruffle his hair.
"Ah.. man, I don’t fucking know. My head hurts like hell— hey, get off of me!" He swatted him away. "Why are you even sleeping with me? Did you do some weird shit?"
"You’re gonna kill me."
"William. Don’t mess around."
"Do you at least remember your date with Evelyn?"
"Don’t talk about her. God, she pisses me off. Yes, I know about that much. Everything else felt.. unreal." Ganji shrugged. He fell back into a pillow, holding his hand over his forehead.
"Nothing after that?"
"No, I already told you, I can’t remember anything."
"Well, that’s a shame. It was a good night." William raised an eyebrow. "Sort of. Maybe not."
"I guess I remember a little bit. I drove home after, and.. I walked through the door, and we talked or something."
"Talked, right."
"I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me." Ganji shot him a dirty look, curling his lip slightly.
"You really wanna know?"
"How bad was it?"
"What’s your definition of bad?"
"I don’t know. Telling you a dark secret? Maybe I said something really fucking gay. Even worse if I did something— not like you’d let that happen, anyway— but knowing you, you’d probably make fun of me for it for the rest of my life."
Ganji stroked his hand through his curls, untangling them. He massaged his head a few times to try and ease his painful headache, but it seemed to do him no good. There was a brooding look in his eyes as he studied the ceiling above him, avoiding eye contact with his roommate.
"In that case, it was really bad."
"What?" Ganji jumped, propping himself up on his forearms. "Oh, say you’re joking right now. Please."
"I’m not. See for yourself." William reached for his phone, opening the camera for him.
"See? See what? Give me that." The batter swiftly snagged the device out of his hands, flipping the camera towards himself.
William had to force himself to keep a straight face when he saw Ganji’s reaction. His eyes were big and full of pure shock, eyebrows raised high with incredulity; his mouth made a quiet gasp as it hung open, and his hand was frantically rubbing at his neck to see if it was real. He snarled at the forward, tossing his phone onto the bed before jumping at him.
"You bastard!"
Ganji tackled him and pushed William down, gripping onto the collar of his shirt. The man underneath him was snickering right in his face, and he never felt so irritated like this before. His knuckles turned white as he clenched his fists.
"What did you do to me?"
"I guess there’s no point in hiding it. Ganji, you confessed to me last night."
"Why the hell would I ever do that?" He half-whispered, half-yelled. "Don’t lie to me, William, did you do something to me while I was drunk?"
"It’s not like that! Fuck, Ganji, I wouldn’t ever go that far. We only kissed, and that was it."
"Does that make it okay for you to kiss me when I’m not myself? Did you find the opportunity to do it when I was emotionally vulnerable to you?"
"I know this looks bad, but I was trying to help you. You needed the support, because I know you’ve been taking care of your problems by yourself for a long time. I just needed you to talk to me. A little heart-to-heart was what I was going for."
"So hurry and explain to me how that heart-to-heart ended up like this."
"Ugh.." William blushed. "I.. don’t know. I’m sorry. I couldn’t fight it anymore, man. I really like you, honest."
It was the second time he had to admit this to his friend. But being the first time that Ganji was able to hear these words and process them clearly, he noticed how he blinked hard once before gaping at him.
His eyes brightened, and the anger temporarily slipped away from his face. Realization dawned on him at that instant before he weakly released William from his restraint.
"You.. what? Why?" Ganji muttered, sounding disappointed.
"Well, you’re a lot more amazing than you think, Gupta. How could I not like a respectable guy like you?"
"Respectable isn’t a word that describes me well."
"Admirable, then."
"I don’t understand your vision."
"Of course you wouldn’t. You’re wonderful in my eyes. Nobody else would see you the way I do." The rugby player yawned, tapping the cricketer’s leg to signal for him to get off. "But again, you told me you just want to stay friends, so I’m fine with that."
"But—"
"I know. I have a girlfriend."
"If you know that, why do you.. oh, god, William, you’re an asshole."
"I can’t control what my heart does." William sat up, grinning with gentle laughter. "We can figure this out later. You’re pretty hungover, huh? I can get something for you to eat. Sleep a little longer, Ganji."
He put his hands on Ganji’s hips, pushing him off as softly as he could. William threw the blanket over him as he slid out of bed, rolling his neck.
"William—"
"Yeah?"
"I think.." Ganji’s voice wavered, and he stopped short before deciding to interrupt himself completely. "Nevermind." He dismissed the thought and put a hand up to William, ushering him away.
"Okay.."
The batter eyed his body, peering over when the forward squatted down to greet Cricket in her bed. She was still groggy, meowing silently while rolling around in her sleep. William rubbed her head a few times before finally leaving to go to the bathroom.
Ganji reluctantly pulled William’s blanket over his shoulders. He was wondering why he was still lying here in his bed— something about it made him feel inclined to stay. It was shameful to think that he did something so stupid last night, especially with his roommate— though, he often questioned what happened specifically. He was awfully nosy.
Rolling around in the bed, he couldn’t find a good position to get comfortable in. He spotted a round carrot plush that interested him, and he reeled it in to cushion his cheek.
Sleeping was a bit of a challenge when his body felt like it was going up in flames. The stinging in his head and stomach was intolerable, but his exhaustion won in the end.
William had just exited the bathroom, preparing to make something for Ganji and Cricket. He searched around for his phone before he remembered that it was thrown somewhere on his bed.
Quietly, he walked towards his bed, where he noticed the batter sleeping soundly. His breathing was silent, and his shoulders would fall with every exhale. As for Ganji’s face, it was the calmest he’d ever seen him. Needless to say, William couldn’t help but smile at the carrot tucked in his arms.
He spotted his phone behind Ganji, and he reached over to carefully grab it. As William retrieved his phone, he knelt down next to the bed, studying the batter’s face. The markings on his neck were still visible— William stared at them with heavy eyes, his mouth drawn quickly into a tight line before he pulled the blanket higher over Ganji’s body. He smoothed his curls out as he made his way to the kitchen.
Ganji slept for about 30 minutes, completely undisturbed. He was stirred awake by something meowing and pawing his lower back. There was no time for him to open his eyes and pick up Cricket before he heard William come over and scold her in a low mutter. The weight of the kitten was lifted off of him, and he mustered a tiny laugh before settling back into bed.
William made sure he got as much rest as he could; he would make frequent trips between the kitchen and his bed to see if Ganji had moved at all. Once he had prepared a good meal for the both of them, he tread lightly on his feet to wake up the batter.
"Ganji."
Ganji squinted, eyes still squeezed shut. He stayed asleep, hugging onto the carrot plush.
"Ganji.." William nudged his shoulder, shaking him with one hand.
"Shut up and let me sleep.." Ganji grumbled, shrugging him off. He pressed the plush against his face.
"I made you food. You gotta get up, or you’ll feel horrible all day."
William predicted his next move when he saw Ganji’s body turn over rapidly to launch the carrot plush at his face. He had one hell of an arm, and the forward almost believed that the damn pillow could’ve knocked his head off his neck if he didn’t catch it in time. It fit in between his palms perfectly— with a disappointed frown, Ganji glared at him and sat up.
"You didn’t have to."
"I did anyway." William threw the plush behind Ganji.
"You’re never this nice to me."
"I’m much nicer than you."
"Like hell you are."
"Get up, c’mon."
William extended a hand, offering to help him up. Ganji took it without hesitation and pulled himself to his full height.
"What did you even make? I’m shocked you didn’t burn the kitchen down."
"Something quick. It’s pasta."
"That sounds.. good right now, actually."
"I know you." William smirked.
Ganji opened his mouth to say something, but he bit his tongue and rolled his eyes instead. He patted William on his shoulder, passing by him to go to the bathroom.
"Maybe you do. Better than myself, I’d say."
The forward was bewildered by the change in his attitude. He gawked at Ganji, glancing over his shoulder as the batter was gaining distance. By the time he had the courage to reply to him, he was gone.
Ganji brushed his teeth slowly. There was a gross taste in his mouth, presumably from him drinking last night. He tried to scrub his tongue clean. Eventually, he couldn’t stop thinking about William told him; had he really kissed him during his daze? The thought of it alone made Ganji feel sick with humiliation. That would be the last time he ever tried drinking—!
He scrubbed his tongue harder. That kiss wasn’t deserved at all. William was the last person that Ganji should have considered liking— the minute the line between platonic and romantic feelings blurred together, he knew it wasn’t going to end well. But was it wrong for him to think about how badly he wanted to be held like that again?
The cold water on his face barely did anything to wake him up. Ganji put a hand on the wall to support his weak legs, overcome with fatigue. William was waiting for him in the kitchen. He was on his phone, but it didn’t take long for him to notice his friend.
"Do you need help?" He lowered his screen, walking around the counter.
"No, my head just hurts. I feel sick."
"Put your arm over me," William insisted, ignoring Ganji’s response. The batter was too tired to reject him again, and so he did as he was instructed.
The forward guided him to a stool, taking the seat next to him. Ganji’s eyes glossed over the pasta in front of him with a touched smile. There was also a drink prepared for him— he couldn’t hide how appreciative he was for the gesture, and he was awestruck for awhile. William leaned his elbow on the counter, tilting his head.
"Too much pain to move your arms or something?"
"My muscles do feel stiff."
"I can feed you."
"I’ll pass." Ganji huffed.
He massaged his arm with one hand while using the other to pick up a fork. As he took the first bite, William stared at him attentively. His cheeks looked similar to a chipmunk’s when he ate, and the curious glance over to him was much more endearing. Ganji knew he was watching him, but he tolerated it, like he always did. William knew from the embarrassment and the flush in his face.
"Is it alright?"
Ganji gave him a muffled hum while nodding. He swallowed and cleared his throat, moving his hair out of his eyes.
".. thank you. I feel better."
"Yeah, no problem."
Ganji smiled serenely. There was a subtle glow to his face. Something felt more alive in him— the sparkle in his eyes expressed a new profound sense of relief and gratitude towards William. It was shocking to think that he was so blissfully unaware of how much beauty he held.
He reached his hand out to fix Ganji’s hair. The gesture, at some point, was met with acceptance rather than hesitation. The batter proved that he valued William’s company by letting him do whatever he wanted. Though, he could only handle a limited amount of attention before he got too flustered; he gently pushed William’s hand away so he could eat.
Cricket found the energy to walk around after she stretched. Her owner stopped eating to guide the kitten to her food bowl, scratching her head lovingly.
Afterwards, they cleared both their plates, and Ganji insisted on washing the dishes. They bickered over it for a minute or two, because William wanted him to rest up.
"Let me do the dishes." The forward put his hands on the batter’s arms, turning him away. "You go sleep."
"No!" Ganji yelled defiantly, shrugging his hands off of him. "I told you, I can do it."
"You’re tired. You told me your muscles hurt, right? Why strain it?"
"I want to do it. You already went through the hassle of making the food."
"Washing dishes isn’t that big of a deal, Ganji. It’s not a problem for me."
Ganji didn’t respond. At first, William was worried that he had pissed him off again, and the silence scared him. When he saw a wan smile spread slowly across his lips, he was.. confused.
"What?" William looked around.
"I’m so glad I switched roommates. God, you’re stubborn, but you actually do stuff," Ganji observed him with a dreamy look in his eyes. "I’m still doing the dishes, though. You’ve done enough for me."
"Yeah, no."
"Too late." Ganji nudged him out of the way so he could get to the sink.
"What do you think you’re— no, I already told you, I’d do it! Go sit down!" William stopped him. Ganji resisted.
"You can’t make me."
"Don’t play this game."
The batter raised his eyebrow. With a daring glance, he laughed, tilting his head.
"I think we’ve played it several times."
"And you know the last person you should try is me."
"You pity me, so I’m sure this time you’ll give up and let me do it."
"You know what?"
"Yeah?"
William crouched down, picking him up over his shoulder exactly the way he did the night they went to the bridge together. The weightlessness he felt reminded him of that exact moment. His head spun just thinking of how their first time going out was so innocent and stupid, and how it contrasted their current friendship now.
That day felt like it happened yesterday. Ganji couldn’t stop the rush of emotions that toiled ruthlessly in his heart— it was bittersweet. Back when they were friends, and nothing more.
"What are you doing? Stop it!"
"Are you scared someone’s going to see you?" William teased. Ganji recognized that he was quoting him— it looks like he remembered too.
He started laughing uncontrollably. It started as a stifled giggle before it erupted into something louder, wild and free. His neighbors could complain about the noise all they wanted— but it helped a lot to let him forget that he had feelings for William romantically.
William moved him to his bed, throwing him down. Ganji’s chest convulsed as his eyes brimmed with tears of laughter. He rolled onto his side, clutching at his shirt to quiet down, but he just couldn’t stop—!
But why would William want that beautiful sound to cease, and that utterly breathtaking smile to fade? He was taking in the sight, all of it; Ganji was so full of vitality, and his howling was too contagious for William not to crack a smile as well.
The batter held his hand over his forehead, gasping and shaking his head.
"You’re unbelievable.. god."
"You knew it’d happen." William shrugged. "I feel like you do it on purpose, sometimes."
"Of course not." Ganji sat up, wiping his tears. "Ah.. that was funny. Why won’t you let me do the dishes, though?"
"Because one of us is hungover and should probably focus on taking care of himself, instead of worrying over something like washing dishes." The forward harshly poked him on the forehead, and Ganji’s head bobbed back for a second.
"It’s only like, 2 plates.. and a few pots.."
"Yeah. And I can do it. I’m s’posed to be taking care of you."
"I’m perfectly capable of doing an easy chore myself."
"Never said you weren’t. I’m doing it for you to let you relax." William ruffled his hair. "Think of it as my way of making up for being an ass to you."
"It’d take a lot to make up for that. Don’t touch my hair," Ganji pushed his hand away, rolling his eyes.
"I know.. just sit back for a minute. I’ll clean everything for you. Alright?"
The batter acknowledged him with a small nod. Once William walked away to go to the kitchen again, Ganji crawled under his blankets with his phone.
He’s too considerate, he thought. I don’t know how to respond. William really is perfect, isn’t he?
Ganji laid on his back and rested his head back on the headboard as he scrolled on his phone to distract himself (though, it didn’t really work; his face failed to mask his emotions and he laid there in obvious distress). William was giving him more reasons to like him, and it wasn’t helping him much. He was supposed to dislike him, but why has it proven to be harder than it used to be?
William wasn’t rough or rowdy like his teammates. He cared about his hygiene, and was surprisingly one of the most well-groomed people Ganji had ever seen. The forward wasn’t as dumb as a rock, but still somewhat frustrating. He treated the batter with dignity— some, at least.
Ganji lowered his phone to stalk William. He was still washing the dishes, singing to himself quietly. Looking at him now, there was nothing about him that he despised. With the exception of the events from last night, Ganji still thought he was amazing. More importantly, it was interesting how calm he was about treating him like they were just friends.
He didn’t know what he said last night. Perhaps he told him the truth, and the harsh reality of it. It gave him heartburn to see the person he felt so strongly about stand so far— Ganji imagined that one day, he would have to let these feelings go.
A knock startled the both of them. Cricket meowed, alerting her owners about the visitor. William turned to Ganji, still trying to finish the task at hand.
"Could you get that, Ganji?"
"Mmh.. yeah." Ganji groaned, sitting up. He opened his closet, grabbing a grey sweatshirt and sliding it over his head. Making sure he looked presentable, he fixed his hair before pulling the door open.
He wasn’t sure who to expect. But god, it couldn’t be any more awkward than this— it was Maeve.
"Ganji! Hi!" She exclaimed, almost thrilled to see him.
"Maeve." He whispered back in a quiet voice, forcing a tense smile.
Cricket trotted over when she heard her voice. She tried to sneak past Ganji to escape the dorm, but he cut her off in time. He slid her back inside with his foot and trapped her between his ankles.
"Maeve, is that you?" William peered over, just as equally astonished to see her. Ganji looked over his shoulder, giving him a confused glance.
Did you invite her here? His expression read.
Nope. I didn’t even know she was coming. William shook his head with a shrug, drying a plate.
"Sorry for dropping by so unexpectedly. Uhm.. you guys aren’t busy, are you?"
"Huh? Oh! No, we’re not. Come in."
Ganji bent down and picked up Cricket. She made a swimming motion in his hand, crying. He followed Maeve after she entered, quietly closing the door behind her. The presence of his girlfriend made him want to leave the room. It didn’t help that William was staring at him so hard at random intervals.
Maeve greeted William, walking up to him with a gentle kiss on his cheek. The forward leaned down so she could reach, hugging her back. They mumbled to each other, and William said something that made her grin. Her eyes were so bright and full of love. Ganji sat on his bed and scratched Cricket’s fur to distract himself.
"Ganji?" Maeve called.
"Huh?"
"How was your date?"
"Did.. William tell you?"
"Yeah."
William looked at him with apologetic eyes, like a puppy’s. He shrugged, as usual, avoiding the irritated glare from the batter.
"It.." he hesitated, running his thumb over Cricket’s paw, "it was really good."
"Ah, really? I’m so glad! It was your first date, right?"
Ganji nodded. He was blushing, but Maeve had misunderstood and thought he was shy about Evelyn. She was smiling ear-to-ear, taking a stool to sit down.
"What did you guys do?"
"It wasn’t anything big. We went to a restaurant. And we talked."
"And you got busy, I assume." She pointed at him with a teasing voice.
His face scrunched at her, casting a confused glance around the room. It wasn’t until he realized she was pointing to his neck. Ganji was incredulous, and William was holding his breath in the kitchen, leaning his head against the fridge to not make a sound. The cricketer hastily pulled the collar of his sweatshirt up to cover it.
"I don’t know what you’re talking about." He scoffed, laughing uneasily.
"I’m not judging you! I mean, that’s great. At least it shows you guys are really into each other."
"She’s cool."
Ganji made the mistake of looking at William. He wasn’t aware of the fact that the forward already had his eyes on him to begin with. Even though they were on opposite sides of the room, he was breathtaking, and he almost got too caught up in his daydream to remember Maeve was still there. Ganji shook his head and lowered his head— he pretended he didn’t see William’s smile drop.
"Do you plan on seeing her again? Oh! I just had a great idea!" She turned excitedly to William, holding both her hands up to share her thoughts. "We should go on a double date! Ganji can bring Evelyn, and we can all hang out!"
"That sounds good."
"Great." Ganji added.
"It’s genius."
"Why didn’t you think of that?"
"I don’t know."
"Thank god for Maeve, then. She’s way smarter than you. What would you do without her?"
"I’d die."
"You’ve got to have the patience of a saint to be putting up with that idiot." Ganji whispered to her.
Maeve stared at him absentmindedly. Once the smile appeared on her face, it spread to him as well, and they both burst out into laughter. William could hardly believe how they were talking about him while he was standing right there. He couldn’t brush off how Ganji was playing the whole situation off, though. Props to him.
"Give me Cricket if you insist on talking about me."
"She’s my cat too."
"Oh, yeah? Said who?"
"Me. We’re co-parenting, aren’t we? I’m the better dad, in my opinion." Ganji lifted her up to face him. "Right, baby? Yeah? Oh, you love me so much, don’t ya?"
"I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be back." Maeve got up, fixing her hair.
"Okay," William replied.
When she got up and left them alone, Ganji shot up from where he was sitting, letting Cricket run free. He was too tense to move a step, so he stayed where he was, eyes fixed on William. Returning the same look, he seemed equally as uncomfortable. The batter finally found the energy to approach him with his hands out.
"That was.. some lie." William rubbed his neck.
"You’re a fucking joke."
"The hell did I do?"
"Why’d you tell her?"
"How could I have known what was going to happen that night? I was just excited! I mean, look how nice you looked.."
William unlocked his phone and searched his camera roll, turning the screen to Ganji. He had to squint to see it (despite having it in his face), and upon realizing it was the picture taken of him in his suit, he took his hand and lowered the device.
"Shut up.." he muttered, clenching his jaw. "Okay, so what? You know, this is only weird because it was your fault."
"What’d I do?"
"You can’t control your feelings for one day?" Ganji seethed in a low whisper.
"No. I.. gotta be honest, I can’t ever keep myself in check."
Ganji covered his face with his hands, exhaling deeply. He couldn’t control his feelings either, but he wouldn’t say that out loud. It was up to him to do it for the sake of their friendship. Nobody could’ve warned him about how hard it was to try and look at William normally, without thinking about why he made him feel this way to begin with.
He lowered his hands from his face after a few seconds of silence passed.
"I just really wish we could forget this happened. This feels so fucking—"
"You don’t think I know that? I know it’s my fault, so stop rubbing it in. You know we can’t just spontaneously get over this in a day."
"Are you ever gonna.."
Ganji mouthed the words tell her to him, now suddenly cautious of her eavesdropping. William bit his lip, shaking his head with uncertainty.
"How do you expect me to do that? I thought you didn’t want me to, anyway."
"I know I said that!" He clenched his fists. "But now I might take it back. Fuck, I.. no, maybe I’m right. She’s perfect— you can’t fumble her, William."
"But—"
Ganji looked at the bathroom door. William turned his head back towards him, tantalizingly looking down at his eyes with that charming smile again. It was tempting, but he knew better than to risk it— especially when his girlfriend was here. They had already discussed this, too; being friends was the right course of action. He backed away.
"We should talk later."
"Right."
Maeve came out, opening the door with a hum. Cricket was waiting to surprise her— she leaped out of nowhere and onto her ankle, scaring her for half a second. She picked her up and cradled her as she strolled towards them.
"Would you guys feel like going somewhere?"
"I can take you anywhere." William smiled.
Ganji guessed that he probably wasn’t included. He took his chance to leave them alone.
"I might go to the gym."
"Come with us." Maeve insisted.
"Yeah, Ganji. You should come with us— it’s nice to hang out in groups."
"I would make it awkward by third-wheeling. Just go without me."
"Nope. We’ve already decided that you’re going with us. Where’d you wanna go, Maeve?" William slid his arm over Ganji’s shoulders, pulling him closer to him. The batter frowned, crossing his arms.
"We should check out the outdoor mall."
"Sweet. We’ll get ready, and I’ll call you in a few."
"Sure! I’ll go back to my dorm." Maeve put Cricket down.
"See you." William leaned down to kiss her, still holding his arm over Ganji. It made his eye twitch weirdly, wondering how he could tolerate this.
The forward let go of him to walk her to the door. Cricket trailed behind him, swaying her tail side to side curiously. Ganji stayed back and decided to start looking for an outfit if he was getting dragged along. Anything that was somewhat presentable should suffice.
He heard the door click shut when Maeve left. The sound of William’s footsteps were also audible, and increasingly closer. Pretending he couldn’t see him in the corner, Ganji looked through his closet until William peeked from behind one of the doors.
"You good?"
"I’m fine. What gives?"
"I dunno. You got that look on your face again, so I was worried."
"What look?"
His eye twitched again. Ganji’s face made it seem like he was resting his muscles, but there was an ever so slight hint of frustration in the way his lip almost curled. William heard a loud huff from him when he turned his head away again.
"Okay, I know. I know how you feel." He tried to reassure him.
"This is your fault," Ganji growled, taking a pair of matching sweatpants and folding it over his arm. "It’s your fault, all your fault.. if I could hold back, why couldn’t you? Reckless bastard."
"I know! I’ve heard you say that a million times, bab—"
The batter stood up straight instantly. He stared at William with large, unblinking eyes, as if the name gave him sudden whiplash.
"G-Ganji, sorry. Force of habit."
"You need to watch what you say before you open your mouth."
They both hesitated. William’s face was hot with shame, whereas Ganji was too mortified to even speak— he was tongue-tied, concerned that maybe he’d be the next person to let his feelings slip as well if he was bold enough to say something back.
William put his hand on his back and patted him. His roommate ignored him, taking a white shirt and throwing it over his shoulder.
"You should be getting ready."
"I will. I was just thinking, though.. you should ride with us."
"I can take my own car." Ganji hummed.
"You can go with us. Don’t gotta waste gas."
"I’m fine."
"Please?"
"No."
"Come on, man."
The forward stepped behind him, resting his head on Ganji’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his neck. The touch scared him so badly that he almost dropped the clothes he was holding. Aghast, the batter staggered on his feet, trying to keep his composure.
"What are you doing?"
"Come with us."
"I— why do you want me to come so badly?"
"I.. want you. To be there with us."
"Are you too scared to sit in a car alone with your so-called girlfriend? Don’t be a fucking pussy! Be a real man, William."
"You’re supposed to be helping me out here." William squeezed him harder, hugging him tight.
"How would me riding in your car help you?"
"You know."
"I don’t, actually." Ganji smiled. "Go on and tell me."
The taller man snorted. He backed off after he was patted on the cheek mockingly, glancing at Ganji like a neglected animal before leaving to get ready. They didn’t talk much, besides the few times they passed each other to ask if they’d seen the other’s belongings. Cricket stayed hidden under William’s bed, occasionally clawing at their feet to scare them.
Ganji finished before William. He straightened out his outfit— grey sweatpants and a sweatshirt, with a large white undershirt and a black puffer vest. Part of his neck was still partially uncovered, so he tried to hide it by putting his headphones around it.
"Ganji!" The forward called from the bathroom.
"What?"
"Can you get my keys? They’re on my desk. I’m almost done."
"Yeah."
Ganji got up and stretched, snatching the car keys. They were pretty generic— no decorative charms or anything made it look special. He chewed on his lip, staring hard at it. Perhaps there was something he could add to give it a bit more life.
Soon enough, his friend was ready to go. William grabbed Ganji’s sleeve and pulled him to the side so he could grab his wallet and phone. The keys were yanked out of his hand just as quick.
"Forget anything?" William twirled them in his fingers.
"No. I think I’m good."
"Great."
William was unlocking the door for the both of them. Ganji thought about how weird it was— last night, he entered this door and did something he’d regret for the rest of his life. Yet here he was, leaving like it never happened, as they were going to continue being “just friends.”
But between the two of them, they both knew that was a lie.
William’s eyes spoke for him when he couldn’t. There was nothing casual in the way he always looked at Ganji. It was beyond admiration— it was longing. Desperately longing for him when he was already with someone else.
This car ride was going to be uncomfortable.
Chapter 7: Limerence
Summary:
Ganji third-wheels with William and his girlfriend to an outdoor mall. Winter break is around the corner, and he gets to go to his first real party.
Notes:
—— is a timeskip. sorry theres (gonna be) a few but i have an idea and i need to execute this somehow
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
They met Maeve at the stairwell, and the group of three finally set out to go to the parking lot. She had a large brown sweater on with "OLETUS" in bold print, and baggy black sweatpants. Similarly, William wore the same color scheme, and Ganji could only guess that they planned it out before.
Maeve and William walked together ahead of Ganji, and he followed a short distance behind them. He should’ve stayed home, dammit— he still had his hangover, after all. The batter almost thought he could collapse at any given moment. His head was burning, but he gripped the railing tightly to stay on his feet.
It wasn’t a long trip to the parking lot. Ganji was struggling to see straight ahead of him when everything felt like it was merging together, but all he did was prioritize keeping William and Maeve within his field of vision. They stopped in front of the forward’s car.
Almost automatically did he try and approach the passenger seat. He didn’t make a scene out of it, quickly stepping away towards the backseat door and pulling it open to hide himself in the car. Ganji sat inside and watched William through the window, opening the door for Maeve to enter. He saw how he looked at the rugby charm— William seemed as if he was anticipating her next move.
She didn’t do anything, besides putting her seatbelt on and looking into the overhead mirror to fix her hair. William got into the driver’s seat afterwards, tapping at the rugby charm himself with a quiet sigh. His hand reached into his pocket to grab his phone, unlocking it to toss to his girlfriend.
"You can put the address there."
"Alright!"
Maeve’s nails clicked on the screen while she typed— Ganji sat in the back, close to suffocating from the awkward silence that was in the air. Even if they wanted him here, he could never make himself believe that it was true. It was too strange to bring him along if they were going on a date together. Maybe it was out of politeness.
"Ganji," William turned, resting his arm on his seat. "How are you holding up so far?"
"My head hurts." Ganji whispered weakly, leaning forward with his legs apart. He played with his fingers, biting at his cuticles anxiously. "Wouldn’t it have been better for me to rest back at the dorm?"
".. maybe, but you’re already here. Plus, I need you."
He tousled his curls, nudging Ganji’s head down. With an exasperated sigh, he pretended to not know what he was talking about. Ganji took William by his wrist, feeling the warmth of his skin. He squeezed it once, as if it was a silent way of telling him he wouldn’t be going anywhere, before throwing his hand away from him.
"I got the GPS." Maeve waved William’s phone.
"Thanks."
Once they set up the navigation, they got on the road. It was most likely their first time really going out as the three of them— the two in the front seemed happy and content with the atmosphere, but Ganji was suffering in his usual misery. The bumpy roads weren’t helping much with his headache or his nausea, and William’s presence was sickening him the longer he thought about everything.
The overpowering scent of cologne and perfume was about to knock him out. Ganji’s ears tuned out Maeve and William’s conversation for awhile, rubbing his hand over his face. He was beginning to dread coming with them.
"Ganji?" Maeve looked towards him. Ganji looked like he didn’t hear her for some odd reason— he was zoning out, nibbling at his thumb. William glanced over at him and whacked him on the head to make him snap out of his trance, ignoring the agitation that came from him afterwards.
"The hell was that for?"
"She’s talking to you."
"Sorry." Ganji’s eyes softened, pursing his lips uncomfortably. "Did you say something?"
"Oh— uh.. I don’t mean to get all in your business or anything, but is Evelyn available sometime? I’d like to meet her."
"Fuck— uh— f-for real?" Ganji widened his eyes. Maeve gave him a strange smile, and he laughed hesitantly. "I.. can ask her.. sometime. But she’s always busy— uh— busy studying.. studying really hard, so I don’t wanna bother her if.."
"We can try for next month," William butted into the conversation. "She’d probably have a lot more free time."
"That’s fine, I get it. Though I just wanna know what she’s like. You guys say she’s cool."
"You.. guys?" Ganji repeated slowly. "William talks about her too?"
"I— wait, it’s—" William blushed, raising a hand from the steering wheel to explain himself. Maeve laughed and slapped a hand on his shoulder, pointing at the embarrassment on his face.
"He does! He tells me how great it is that you’re talking to her, because he sees how much happier you’ve been!"
"Maeve, don’t tell him that." William covered his eye, dragging his hand down his cheek.
"I thought it was sweet," she squeezed his arm. "You know you never shut up about it. Ganji, honestly, William would talk about you at every opportunity."
"Oh? Maybe William doesn’t hate me after all." Ganji twirled the drawstring of his sweatshirt with his finger, toying with the small aglet at the end of the cord.
"What do you mean? Of course I don’t!" the forward snapped.
Looking into the rearview mirror, he narrowed his eyes. William was never prepared for the times Ganji would put himself down; that man was incredible, and to not be able to see how much significance he had in his life pained him a little more. Had Maeve not been in this car, he would have definitely made another foolish decision.
Every day, Ganji seemed a little more gorgeous than before. Without much thought, William didn’t notice how defined his curls were now, healthy and radiant in the sunlight. The rays lit up part of his face, leaving his skin brighter than the star itself— he stared ahead at the horizon with squinted eyes, seeing William’s watchful gaze in the mirror after a heartbeat.
Neither of them had the courage to hold their stare. Ganji immediately ducked his head down, going on his phone, while William rested his hand over his forehead and continued driving.
They finally arrived at the outdoor mall after a brief trip. William found a good spot to park, and they exited the car together. Ganji, passing him, stopped at his side.
"Do you just.. tell Maeve everything about me?"
"It’s not like that, man."
Ganji scoffed, sliding past William. The forward hastily grabbed his wrist to stop him.
"I can’t help it."
"Help what? That you like me so much?"
Ganji almost spoke too playfully. He had intended to mock William, but he soon realized his mistake. Maeve was already out of the car, so their conversation ended shortly— until he turned his back to William and he gently tugged him in by his shoulder.
"I can’t say you’re wrong. But don’t say that here."
"I know, I was kidding."
William smiled. He pulled his entire arm around Ganji’s neck, tugging him along. The batter allowed him to guide him around as he looked around the mall. It was the weekend, so it was more crowded than he thought. Ganji began to doubt how comfortable he’d be lingering around here with so many people— as long as William never left him behind, it could be manageable.
Ganji had visited this place a few times; the last time he went was to buy his mother something for her birthday. Most of the stores— the ones he was mostly unfamiliar with— were jam-packed with people. The structure of their exteriors were extremely modern and simplistic. He recognized a few people from Oletus, but the rest were people of all ages. Groups of young teenagers mingled outside a coffee shop or a fountain, too engrossed in their gossip to acknowledge their surroundings.
The three walked on the sidewalk, with Ganji and Maeve on the outside and William standing in between them. His arm had left the batter’s shoulders a while ago, and he was blushing and laughing with his girlfriend as she complained about upcoming exams. The most Ganji could do was scope out anything that caught his eye. He never planned on buying anything, but a quick glimpse through a few windows didn’t hurt anybody.
There was an overwhelming sense of annoyance in his head, whether it was from the stimulating environment or William disregarding his presence. Ganji told them he was fine with not going— but since they wanted him there so bad, he came— and now it was as if he was a ghost passing by.
Maeve came to a halt, craning her neck up to stare at an athletic apparel store. Ganji crashed into his friend, stumbling backwards— William held his arm to keep him upright, smiling and brushing him off.
"What’s up, Maeve?"
"Can we go in here?" She took William’s hand firmly, glancing towards both athletes while pointing. "Would you guys wanna head in here? You don’t mind, right? You can wait at the entrance or something, I just wanna browse."
Ganji bit the inside of his cheek, itching at the back of his head. It looked crowded, and it would make him uneasy to sit in a loud place without doing anything. The fresh air would help with his headache too, he thought.
"I can wa—"
"Yeah, we’ll come in." William cut him off. Ganji eyed him for a moment, bewildered by his sudden interruption, and in a small huff of frustration, he shrugged in agreement.
"I’ll come in.."
"Great! Let’s go inside!"
Upon entering the store, Ganji wanted to melt into a puddle. There was upbeat pop music from the speakers, and about half of the store’s customers were teenage girls (and kids younger than them, to his surprise). He could hear the constant thudding of shoes on the wooden floors, squeaking and shuffling from people going in and out.
William took him by his arm again and pulled him forward. Maeve was checking out a new collection, studying the material of the clothes and the various colors included. She pulled out a workout set and held it out to them, looking for their opinions.
"Do you think this color’s nice?"
Ganji and William squinted at the set. It was sapphire blue, with leggings and a matching top. The batter didn’t know what to say; he assumed that his opinion wasn’t relevant since she was probably asking her boyfriend, but upon looking at William for his thoughts, he was just as lost.
"I think it looks pretty." The forward finally spoke. Ganji nodded.
"I don’t know.. the blue looks a little funny." She checked the tag, pouting. "It’s expensive as hell too, god. I’ll look for something else."
William turned to Ganji for a second, scrunching his face in confusion. The curly-haired man nudged him silently to warn him to knock it off.
"Aren’t you gonna get something?" He asked.
"Me? I mean.. I don’t really need to, but I might look around." William brushed his locs back. "Are you?"
"I guess I’ll look, too. But I’ll leave you guys be."
"Don’t wander away. Text me if you need anything."
He ruffled his hair in an affectionate manner, slapping him on the back before he departed. William followed Maeve like a stray dog, towering behind her as she shopped. It was a good idea to spend time with her, since it’d hopefully get his mind off of his conflicted feelings for his best friend. It’s what was best for all of them.
Ganji weaved past people to explore the store. He shopped at a different place in this outdoor mall when it came to athletic wear— from the looks of this place, it felt marketed to young girls and young adults. The interior felt bland and rather stifling.
Nothing was interesting enough to catch his attention. All he really did was look outside the window, people-watching in silence, watching the different couples or groups that passed by.
Two girls, arm-in-arm and holding bags, laughing innocently in the comfort of their friend’s company. A group of guys venturing together down the sidewalk as one of them fell behind unnoticed, until one of the friends slowed down to walk alongside him. The relaxed look on a mother’s face when she pushed her baby’s stroller, following her two kids in front of her.
There were people everywhere, with their own separate lives going on. Ganji had lived in this new country for a few years, but each day felt like he was learning how to blend in with everyone else. He was slowly learning how to be human again— he wondered if he was making progress or moving backwards.
Especially after what happened with William.
He thrusted his hands into his pockets, sighing out loud. Why’d it have to be him to make Ganji act this way? It was a constant push and pull, an endless cycle of needing him and wanting him gone at the same time. His first taste of love was so blissful, and he couldn’t even have it. What was he supposed to do with this information, knowing William loved him and he felt the exact same way? It was a complete mindgame.
Ganji was brought back to reality when he noticed someone straining to reach for something up high. A girl— a vaguely familiar brunette— was standing on her toes, her fingers just barely brushing against the hanger she was reaching for. He approached her cautiously, as to not alert her, and grabbed the jacket for her.
The batter extended the hanger to the girl, and she goggled at the sight of his face. She took the item in her hands, looking him up and down closely.
"Thank you."
"You’re welcome," he mumbled softly, turning away to continue searching around the store.
"Wait—" The girl held onto the jacket tightly, choking up as if she was trying to figure out his name. He didn’t stop for her immediately. There was no reason to.
"Gan.. Ganji!"
She finally blurted it out, to his dismay. Ganji was visibly startled at the sound, freezing. Stepping to rotate his entire body to face her, he blinked slowly. He wanted to wait for an explanation, as to how she knew his name. The girl didn’t look like an Oletus student; Ganji was half-hoping it wasn’t a fangirl.
"Ganji? That’s your name, right?"
"It.. it is. How do you know me?"
"You’re.." she snapped her fingers, "waitwaitwait.. wait, hang on.. oh! Oh, it’s you!" The brunette pointed to him with a finger gun motion. "You’re the guy from the cafe! The one Evelyn went on a date with!"
The mention of Evelyn’s name almost gave Ganji immediate whiplash. He tried to swallow down any negative feelings he had, scratching the back of his neck.
The girl herself looked (and felt) a lot more different than the energy Evelyn gave off. Her face was a little rounder, cheeks flushed pink on pale skin. Her monolid eyes, paired with a soft layer of makeup, gave her a puppy-like expression. She wore a white square top with ruffles and a bow in the center paired with a brown skirt, fleece-lined tights, and a matching shoulder bag. Her fashion was beautiful to him— she was as cute as a doll.
"I remember you too, now. You got my number for her. Your name is..?"
"Nora. I’m.. really sorry about what happened."
"Huh?" Ganji laughed. "What do you mean?"
How does she know? Did Evelyn laugh about it to her friends? What a woman. His face soured.
"I overheard that night she came back. Evelyn was talking to our friend— they’re roommates— when I was already calling her, and she didn’t mute herself. She was complaining a lot."
Ganji went quiet. The outcome of the date wasn’t his fault. It was clearly something that Evelyn wasn’t telling him, so how could he know what the problem was if she decided to leave so wordlessly?
"Really?" he spoke in a soft breath. "I’d like to know what happened. I wasn’t given a reason as to why she left out of nowhere."
"She didn’t say anything?"
"No. She said she wanted to use the restroom and she never came back."
"God, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe she’d do that.." Nora held a hand over her cheek, casting a sympathetic look in his direction. "You seem like a nice guy, too. I don’t know why she did that."
"It happens."
That was all he had the energy to say. He could’ve told her something else, like "I expected it to happen," or "I’m used to it." It didn’t make him feel any better when he caught the sorry face she gave him, like she was the one apologizing for what happened on Evelyn’s behalf.
"Why’d she leave?"
"Uhm.. I remember she said she just wasn’t interested anymore. She said she felt scared, too. I forgot why, but she couldn’t hold eye contact because she thought it was 'too awkward' and all- she also mentioned. . ."
Nora made a circular motion with her hand as she told everything in detail to Ganji. He was only half-listening, up to this point. Hearing the word "scared" made his mind shut down automatically. He was wondering what he did to intimidate her; did he not follow William’s advice well enough? Was he being too creepy? Was he the only one who thought the date started off fine?
"I just thought it was weird how she came back home super late. If she complained so much about the date, I’m not sure why she stayed—"
"Wait," Ganji stopped her. "What time did she come back?"
"Maybe.. 11?"
"What?"
"She left at 8, right? She was gone for three hours. In my opinion, that’s kind of long for a date.. typically, it should be an hour or so."
"The date was barely an hour." Ganji mumbled.
"No, are you kidding?" she gasped. "What the hell? Then that means.. oh, no.. it can’t be.."
"What? What is it?"
Not too far from them, William and Maeve were still together, looking at shoes. She was observing a pair of white-and-brown tennis shoes while her boyfriend peered over her shoulder, resting his head on her. The forward hummed to the tune of a song on the speakers, observing the shoes before she could ask for his thoughts.
"Do you think these are cute? I wanna get them."
"I like them. I think anything you wear would look nice on you, babe." William kissed her softly on her cheek. She smiled delightfully, setting them back in the box she found them and picking it up.
"I’ll buy it, then." Maeve turned to face him. Something made her glance away and raise her eyebrows. Tapping his arm frantically, she discreetly pointed over behind William. "Isn’t that Ganji?"
William straightened his back and snapped his neck to find the batter. She was right. Ganji was definitely a few feet away from them, partially hidden behind a rack of clothes. His tall figure was easily identified by his curly hair and his clothes, but it seemed he wasn’t alone. There was a girl he was talking to.
Had he seen her before?
Nora made a gesture, asking Ganji to come closer. He started walking up to her, bowing his head down as she could whisper quietly to him. They were a few inches apart— he took note of how she smelled like what he thought was a warm, summer day. Soft floral notes, and the scent of something sweet was faint in her hair. It soothed the tension in his muscles. Her voice, as she was speaking, was strangely warm and tender.
He might’ve been enchanted by her. Maybe, maybe not.
"I’m not supposed to tell anyone this, but now that you guys don’t talk anymore, I guess there’s no point," she brushed her hair behind her ear, clearing her throat. "Evelyn was talking to another guy while she was also talking to you. I think he went to Oletus too."
Ganji bit his lip, thinking.
"Who was it?"
"I heard his name was—"
"Ganji, found ya!" William slapped his hands on Ganji’s shoulders, scaring him from behind. He pulled him back so that he staggered away from Nora, bumping into his chest.
"William, hold on, you ass—"
"I thought we lost you for a second. Maeve’s at the check-out, come on."
"I’m not done talking yet!" Ganji nudged William away. "Sorry, Nora, what were you gonna say?"
Nora stared at his neck. She looked up at William behind him, smiling awkwardly.
"Oh. Uh.. I can tell you later. Can I get your number so we can talk about it?"
"Sure."
Ganji was in the process of taking his phone from his pocket before William reached out and grabbed him by his hood. Yanking at it harshly, he dragged him away from the girl.
"William—!" He gasped, pulling at the collar of his sweatshirt so he wouldn’t choke himself. Ganji had no choice but to put his phone away and follow William since he was being stubborn again. He waved to Nora, almost disappointed with the fact they’d most likely never cross paths again— he almost had an answer, too.
She returned the wave before she suddenly mouthed something to him. Ganji was unprepared and didn’t catch what she was saying. By the time he wanted to ask her to say it again, Nora left to go to the fitting room.
"Are you kidding me?" Ganji complained. "You better have a good reason for doing this."
"You’re the one who scolded me for jumping girl to girl after a relationship. I’m making sure you follow that same advice."
"I’m not interested in her!"
"What were you talking about?"
"She’s the girl from the cafe. She’s Evelyn’s friend. I asked her to tell me why she left the date last night."
"You’re going for her friend now? Sure, you’re not interested in her.. you had that look in your eye, though." William raised a brow with skepticism.
"Why do you always talk about me 'having that look' in my eye? What does that mean? And why do you think you know what it is?" The batter dug his feet into the ground, catching William’s wrist to pull it off of his hood. "Don’t tell me you’re.."
"I’m what?"
"Are you jealous?" Ganji questioned with a smug grin on his face.
"Not in a million years. I was looking out for my friend so he wouldn’t get all fucked up by another girl." William clenched his jaw. Swatting Ganji away to free his wrist, he swooped his arm back down to take his hand and bring him to Maeve.
"You play the insecure girlfriend better than I do- and you’re not even trying."
"Ganji, that won’t work on me. I wasn’t— I was just.. I was trying to get your attention so you knew we’d be leaving soon."
"You’re a bad liar."
"Believe what you want."
Maeve was at the check-out, grabbing her bag right after she paid for her items. She slipped it over her arm, waving Ganji and William over. They gathered together as they exited through the store’s glass doors.
"Who were you talking to, Ganji?"
"It was Evelyn’s friend. I recognized her from the cafe we went to."
"That sounds so nice! Oh, is she still in there?"
"I think so."
"We should go back inside and ask if she’d want to come with Evelyn to hang out with us. Here, William, hold my bag, I gotta find her— what’s her name?"
"Nora?"
"Okay! I’ll go and find her real quick—"
"Wait, Maeve." William gently took her hand, tugging her back. "It might be awkward for her to.. fifth-wheel on a double date, you know."
"Does she have a boyfriend?" Maeve looked to Ganji.
He didn’t realize that his face had gone red at that moment. Intentional or not, William caught it, and he could only turn to look through the window of the store they just left. Perhaps there was a small twinge of jealousy and competition in him.
"I never asked."
"Does you wanna go back inside and find her?"
"Sure." Ganji smiled enthusiastically. He propped the door open, ready to head back.
"I’ll go with you," William towered over him, holding the door with his arm. Ganji trembled when he could hear the low mutter from the forward behind him.
"Stay with Maeve."
"I wanna go with you."
"How about you stay with your girlfriend like the dog you are?" he snapped. "Be good and stay right there."
William frowned, angered by his bitterness but choosing to oblige anyway. He held the door open for Ganji, watching his back as it slowly closed between them again. Maeve dragged him to a bench so they could wait together. She didn’t want to laugh, but it was just too funny to watch how dejected the forward looked after being turned down by the batter.
"Can’t believe you got rejected like that, huh?"
"I don’t know what his deal is. He can go do whatever the hell he wants." William leaned back into the bench, resting his arms over it.
Ganji traveled along the outskirts of the shop because he was too embarrassed to go anywhere near the fitting rooms. After a bit of wandering, he spotted Nora somewhere close to the check-out, studying two different sets of themed hairclips. She was clearly too absorbed in her selection, judging from the concentration in her face. Walking to her slowly, he raised his hand in a subtle wave to catch her attention.
"Hey again."
Nora looked at his hand. She lowered the hairclips to her chest, lifting her head up to meet his warm gaze. The girl lit up more than he could’ve expected her to.
"Ganji? You’re back?"
"Sorry about earlier. I still wanted your number." He held out his phone, already unlocked with the messages app open.
"R-really..? Hah, okay.. since you asked so nicely.." Nora laughed, blushing. Ganji didn’t catch what he said, and she knew that from the innocent closed-lipped smile he gave her. "Can you hold these for me?"
The batter took the hairclips and the clothes in her arms as she took his phone, and he kept standing next to her patiently. He was so focused on her movements that he never realized William was spying on them from the window. The bench had a direct view of them, and William could practically envision Ganji’s tail wagging like a puppy as he waited obediently next to Nora.
He shouldn’t have cared as much as he did. Maeve was right next to him. Still, William couldn’t rip his eyes away from his best friend. The yearning he felt was almost.. painful. They already agreed to only be friends, but it was hard when they both knew about their feelings.
"Maeve?" William called.
"Yeah?"
"You want coffee?"
"That sounds good."
"I can get Ganji to come along." He rose up, stretching and dusting off his clothes. "I’ll be quick."
"No worries."
Ganji offered his phone to Nora, and she entered her number, even taking a moment to take a picture of herself to set as a contact photo. The action surprised him, but he didn’t care enough to complain. They traded items and she handed it back to him with a small thanks. Glossing over the picture of her, he sighed.
"Thank you. I’m looking forward to talking to you."
"Me too."
Ganji remembered Maeve’s question. He scratched his head nervously.
"Nora, do you have a boyfriend?"
"I— uh-" She stammered with her mouth hanging open, smiling and shaking her head rapidly. "No. No, I don’t! Why?"
"My friend’s girlfriend was asking. She wanted to know if you’d like to hang out with us some time." Ganji turned his head away, flustered. "I got nervous and lied about dating Evelyn, and she wanted to invite you both, since you said you were friends."
"Are you saying you want me to cover up?"
"I mean- it’s not what I had in mind, but- it’d.. help a lot."
"Sure! I should be free after exams are over."
"Thank you so much. Also.."
”What’s up?"
"What was the guy’s na—"
"Ganji!" William barged in again. Nora slipped away immediately, whispering a goodbye to Ganji as she entered the line for the check-out.
"What now? Didn’t I tell you to—"
"Maeve wants coffee. We’re going, come on."
"Fine."
William put a protective arm around his neck again, pushing his thumb into his shoulder in a circular motion to massage it. Ganji couldn’t say he hated it— he had gotten used to the touch after awhile, and it felt reassuring. He suspected he had ulterior motives for acting the way he did, though. It was interesting to know he was equally as jealous.
They truly were two sides of the same coin.
Later at night, when the two athletes were back in their dorm, Ganji stayed hunched over his desk for the rest of the evening studying. He’d sneak a few glances at his roommate, standing in front of the bathroom on his phone; he apparently wasn’t taking the upcoming exams as seriously as he was. He could only grip a handful of his hair while staring at an endless stream of slides on his laptop. Ganji concentrated as well as he could, but the thought of knowing who Evelyn could’ve possibly ditched him for left him itching for an answer.
"You’ve been studying ever since we got back, Ganji," the forward commented. "Take a break or something. You still have a lot of time."
"Don’t tell me you’re trying to justify procrastinating on an exam, William."
"It’s not procrastination. It’s.. finding a better time. When I’m in the mood." William winked.
"You’re hardly ever in the mood. Did you feed Cricket yet?"
"I fed her a little when we came back. It’s been a few hours, so you can probably feed her if you wanna do that."
Ganji looked down at the kitten hiding in her bed, nodding before entering the kitchen to prepare Cricket’s dinner. Nora didn’t message him much when he checked his phone, but he was fine with it and eventually let the events from today slip out of his memory. The kitten followed him and nuzzled up against his ankle lovingly, and he relaxed with the weak vibrations from her purring. He nearly catapulted the can of wet food off the counter when William hugged him from behind, trailing his hands around his hips, touching his head to his neck.
Playful or not, he nearly caved in. William showered before him, and as a result, he smelled so incredibly good, and his skin was a little warm. Ganji shifted his head away, gritting his teeth when William persisted and hugged him tighter with a cheeky grin.
"Do you need something? Don’t touch me."
"It’s not weird if we’re doin’ it as friends."
"I’m not stupid. You’ve been weird all day. Tell me what’s up with you."
"You like that girl at the mall, Ganji?"
"She’s cute."
"You’ve moved on so fast.." William pretended to cry into his shoulder. Cricket was unamused— she was pressing her paw into his leg, whining when he nudged her away with his foot.
"You need to move on too. You have a girlfriend."
"I know. It’s just.. I hate that I still feel this way."
Ganji set the food down.
".. why?"
"You keep reminding me."
He didn’t elaborate. What could he remind him of? The fact he was dating Maeve? How they could never have a relationship? How much he liked him? What was it?
"I’m trying as hard as I can. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be."
"I can’t do it."
"Stop complaining. You’re not the only one who’s upset, William."
"You don’t look half upset."
"Will you shut up and go sleep if I kiss you? That’s what you’re trying to get from me, isn’t it?"
"Dammit, you knew?"
"Guess I was right. Fine, but just once because I feel bad for you. Don’t expect me to let this slide again— this is the last time."
The batter tilted his head back, closing his eyes as he melted in the first few seconds of warmth to feel William against him. It was muscle memory, how he could kiss him naturally without thinking twice or worrying at all. Ganji was annoyed by how overly touchy he was when his hand was moving up to hold his jaw, but he didn’t break the kiss to say that. He let it go on for five seconds, then ten.. before he lost count.
Ganji’s phone vibrated on the counter with a text from Nora’s number. He slowly opened his eyes and lowered his head to take note of the message, reaching his hand out for the screen. After hovering his palm over it, William took his hand and overlapped it, sliding his fingers between the gaps of his own.
"Wait."
He delicately ran his thumb over the scars on Ganji’s skin. The cricketer made no effort to argue with him and nodded in response to his request. William pulled him back in for another kiss, breathing hard as the other man shivered.
Cricket was forgotten again— she hissed and began whacking at William’s ankles to remind Ganji to feed her. Moving away, he opened his eyes to admire the bright flush in his face. He touched his thumb against Ganji’s nose bridge.
"You look so—"
"Shut up!"
"You’ll have to do it again if you want me to." The forward kissed below his ear, laughing against his neck when it went red.
"Ugh.." Ganji screwed his eyes shut, leaning away from William and putting his palms on the counter. He rubbed at his lips with the back of his hand shamefully. "Are you happy now? Go to bed and leave me alone. I need to feed your cat— you’re starving her."
Pushing him away, the batter crouched down with the bowl of food. He mumbled an apology to Cricket before nudging her in front of her dinner. Rising up, he reached for his phone. William snuck behind him again, trying to put his arms around him before getting slapped away. Ganji must’ve ignored the breathing down his neck as he checked his notifications— taking a quick glance at his screen, the forward narrowed his eyes.
"Sleep with me."
"No."
"Come on. Sleep in my bed." William hugged Ganji, squeezing his body hard enough to earn a sharp inhale from him. He was confident that he wanted to say yes, but he was holding back. It only motivated William more— whatever it was, seeing how hard Ganji tried to resist made him more lovable. With a strong pull, he tried to drag him out of the kitchen. The batter resisted.
"No, I’m not done studying— I haven’t even showered yet! Stop it!"
"Doesn’t matter to me."
"I really wish—" Ganji put his hands on William’s arms, trying to push them off, "you spent more time studying than annoying me."
"Please don’t remind me. I just wanna get that shit over with, so then we can hang out all winter after exams are done."
"You’re not convincing. Now, didn’t I tell you to shut up and go to bed?"
"You’re gonna have to make me."
"I guess you’ll be sleeping alone. I was really thinking about being nice and accepting your offer." Ganji’s brow twitched, his fingers gripping onto William’s wrist. "Too bad."
"Huh? Wait— fine, I’ll leave you alone." He released him, slowly backing off with his hands up in surrender. William dropped his arms to his sides.
"That’s what I thought." Ganji walked past him, lowering his hand to give the forward’s arm a comforting squeeze. "Sleep well, William."
William paused, turning his entire body to face the batter after he let go. He believed that his heart could burst from happiness from how those dark eyes stared back at him every single time, and it made him more sickeningly head-over-heels for his friend.
"Study hard, Ganji." William laughed bashfully.
He stopped poking at him to let him focus on his work. After half an hour, Ganji felt fatigued from the dark atmosphere and the glare from his screen. Out of curiosity, he got up from his desk to check up on Cricket and William. The kitten was snuggled up in her bed, and Ganji silently thought to himself about how she looked bigger than he remembered. It was a surprise that the RA never caught her during room inspections.
He saw William was huddled underneath his blanket, his phone screen casting a white light against his face and shoulders. Ganji leaned over him, pressing his hands into the creaky mattress.
"You up?"
The forward rolled onto his back, stretching his arms and throwing his phone aside.
"Just barely. Why?"
"No reason. I’m gonna shower."
"You keepin’ your promise?"
I never made one, Ganji thought, opening his closet to find something comfortable. Rummaging around, he looked ahead, fighting a smile.
"Sure."
"I’ll stay up a little longer and wait."
The shower was much needed. All the tension and stress left his body with how hot the water was— Ganji was in a good mood now that he felt clean and prepared for bed. He discarded his dirty clothes into his laundry bag and returned to their beds. When he found William, he was startled by how dead he seemed; his eyes could hardly stay open without fluttering shut, but they opened hastily after spotting Ganji.
"Did I take long?" Ganji tapped his phone screen on the bedside table to check the time.
"Get over here," William’s words came out jumbled as he spoke with a hoarse voice. The batter didn’t want to torture him any longer, so he sat down on his bed, laying on his side to face him. William moved towards him without warning, wrapping his arms around his body while partially resting his face on top of Ganji’s chest.
With his face pressed over his heart, he could feel the pulsing sensation gradually get faster. Ganji was breathing heavily, like he was freaking out, and it made his chest rise and fall in an irregular rhythm. His hands itched to throw themselves around William’s back, but the forward had passed out on the spot, lacking the energy to tell him goodnight.
The attention was always new to him. Nevertheless, he absolutely loved it, though he’d always keep that fact to himself. Ganji understood he was being selfish for wanting a constant source of validation and love, but who else was he supposed to find to give him this much reassurance? Maybe tonight.. he could go go sleep and pretend they were happy together.
The night was silent, but knowing they had each other in close proximity, they were already content.
Ganji was well-prepared by the time exams came around the corner, especially with the cricket season ending and having more availability to study. As for William.. he managed to ask him for last-second tutoring, hoping it’d be enough to at least pass. It was the longest and most stressful hours of that day, sitting in dead silence in front of his laptop, but it once it was over, Ganji felt accomplished. His winter vacation would start right now.
William walked with him back to the dormitories, stopping by their mailbox so Ganji could check for something from home. He grasped a clean, white envelope in his hand, catching up to his roommate so they could head to their room together.
"What’d you get?" The forward leaned over his shoulder. Ganji pinched the envelope with his fingers, feeling around for any objects hidden inside— nothing so far.
"I’ll have to see."
"Are you visiting them over break?" They entered the stairwell, climbing upstairs.
"Definitely. Not immediately, though. Maybe when Christmas is close, I’ll surprise them."
"That’s nice." William put his hands in his pockets. "You goin’ to the party tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow? That’s too soon. What’s it for?"
"It’s like a winter thing, before we all go on vacation. It’s at my friend’s place." William bumped Ganji’s shoulder with his arm. "It’d be cool if you came."
"I don’t like parties. They’re loud and rampant.. it’s irritating. I’d rather stay home and sleep." Ganji scratched his head, brushing his curls back with his fingers. "I wouldn’t be much fun if I went."
"Even if I wanted you to come?"
"Maeve can go with you."
"I.. well, no, she can’t- she’s seeing family. But when did I ever mention her? I said I want you. I want you to come."
The batter lowered his head, narrowing his eyes as he stared at the wall. William was always saying things that caused that unfamiliar pit in his stomach to grow a little more. He wanted to let go of his feelings because he had sworn that he’d move on, but recently, nothing was helping. The opposite seemed to be true, which was unfortunately the outcome he wanted least.
"What will you gain from that?" Ganji moved a stray curl out of his face. "You’ve got plenty of other friends to talk to, so I’d get lost in that damn place if you were the only person I had to rely on. I don’t feel like being surrounded by a bunch of people who smell like beer and shit, anyway."
"I can always drive you home if it gets bad. I just want to show you what it’s like, so we can do it together."
I need to spend more time away from him, goddammit, Ganji bit his lip hard. There wasn’t much he could do, was there? They’d be stuck as roommates- his only escape would be through his break, but how could he tolerate a few weeks without being in contact with William?
".. fine. Only because you keep on begging me. What time is it? How late are we staying?"
"Starts at 9. We’ll be there for awhile, but always nudge me if you feel like leaving, yeah?"
"Alright."
Back at their dorm, William decided to head to bed early. Ganji sat at his desk with his leg over his knee and the unopened envelope in his fingers. He adjusted his lamp to shine over it, removing the letter to reveal its contents. Seeing his mother’s distinctive handwriting made his heart race, clutching the sheet of paper tight.
- Dear Ganji,
I hope you are doing good at Oletus. You must be studying a lot, since I have not heard from you in a long time. I know how hard you work, so take care of yourself all the time.
How was the cricket season, my son? Is your team kind to you? Do you do the best you can? Your best is always enough— I have watched you play ever since you were a little boy, and I know what incredible passion and talent you hold.
Do you have any new friends? I would like to meet them. You can always invite others to come to celebrate Christmas with us this year. I hope you surround yourself with good people.
I am so proud of how much you have grown. We miss you very much, and hope you will return for the holidays. Come home, Ganji.
Love, Maa
The batter touched her signature at the bottom of the letter. He folded the paper in half, holding it close to his forehead as he closed his eyes. Envisioning his mother’s face in his imagination, his heart ached to be home again— home to her, and home to where he really belonged.
Ganji opened a drawer in his desk and noticed the heap of previous letters he had stored. He made room for the newest one, finding a clean piece of paper and a pen to write his response.
- Dear Maa,
I’m sorry for not sending letters. I was so busy with cricket and work. Otherwise, I’m happy here. I like Oletus. Today, I finished my final exams, and it’s nice to finally take a break. A lot has changed.
Cricket is normal. I’m always doing good, so it’s no problem. It’s thanks to you for showing it to me when I was younger. I did make a new friend— he went to the same school back then. His name is William Ellis. He’s an amazing rugby player, and a very good person. William has showed me a lot of things, and taught me how to be more social. I hope he can come to Christmas with us.
I miss you so much. But, please.. don’t worry. I’m coming home.
Love, Ganji Gupta
It was about 20 minutes before the party started. Ganji was pestering William about showing up on time— he sat in his chair, with Cricket in his lap, while waiting for him to finish getting ready. William stood in front of the bathroom mirror with the door open, so the batter could steal glances of him checking himself out. He scoffed with annoyance, checking the time on his phone.
"Are you ready yet? You’ve been in there forever, man!" Ganji shouted, scratching the kitten’s fur.
"Don’t rush me. We still have time." William fixed his sleeve, pulling it over his arm to flex for a moment. "Aren’t you the one who didn’t feel like going? You must be real excited."
"I’m not looking forward to it. I’d just rather be there before it starts filling up."
"Makes sense. Okay, we can go." William turned the bathroom lights off, grabbing his coat. He took his keys and twirled them as he usually did. They jingled when he made a beckoning motion with his index finger to Ganji. "Did Cricket eat?"
"I already fed her," he released the cat and her paws met the floor as she pranced towards her owner. William crouched down to kiss her head. Ganji took his coat from his chair, huffing. It’d be easy for something to go wrong at a party— his mind was racing, naming every possible negative outcome. Something dangerous could’vd happened if they weren’t careful. Someone bad could do something to him. The batter was beginning to rethink his decision.
He had zoned out while he was tying his shoes. William pushed his head back with a rough nudge, and his mouth opened from initial surprise.
"You ready?"
"Yeah. Let’s go."
The car parked on the side of the street, and Ganji could see that the entire driveway was jam-packed. There were cars lined up along the same street as well, and the backyard gate was swinging wide open with music blaring into the air. Whoever the host was, their family must’ve been upper-class; it was pretty big, the perfect place to throw a party.
Upon exiting the car, there was an irritating aroma that made Ganji scrunch his nose and hold his breath. There was loud conversation from the backyard, the front yard, and also from within the house. He stared at the scene in front of him.
"Already thinking about bailing on me?" William appeared at his side, putting an arm around his shoulders.
"This feels unwelcoming."
"Nah, it’s the opposite— promise. You’ll have fun. Lot of cool people to talk to."
"I’ll stay for a few minutes and see how much I like it."
William and Ganji entered through the backyard gate. His eyes were trying to soak in his surroundings and adjust to the noise levels simultaneously- people were standing in almost every corner of the backyard, holding red cups or passing around a joint. It smelled like the worst thing he’d ever experienced. Everyone looked red-faced, in a dream-like fever, swaying, talking, and dancing.
The light illuminated the forward’s face, and when the other guests looked in his direction, they burst into loud cheers.
"There he is!" a rugby player, presumably the host, yelled. "William, what’s good, man? Glad you could make it!"
He approached the forward with his hand out. William accepted it enthusiastically, pulling him into a friendly hug while laughing. The weather was bitterly cold for a party— Ganji was shivering, but no one else seemed particularly bothered by it. Perhaps they had been numb to it.
People flocked to William in a large group. He was smiling all big and proud, trying to return as many greetings as he could. Ganji was separated by him because of the people shoving past to talk to him. Had he always been this popular in the school?
Sighing out loud, he decided that he should do a little exploring. Ganji walked away from the crowd, pacing around the yard. He saw recognizable faces around him, but no one worth approaching or talking to. With every slow exhale he took, he could see the vapor leave his mouth. Convinced he would’ve frozen to death, he wondered if it was fine to head inside.
Ganji passed a fire pit when he searched for the door. People sat back leisurely in chairs, holding their drinks while discussing their plans for the winter. He wasn’t eavesdropping on them, but he was fixated on the flickering flame in the middle.
His eyes ripped away immediately. The familiar sting he knew too well came back— it stabbed him right in his chest, tightening until he felt the pressure in his lungs. The suffocation from his shortness of breath was insufferable— the cold already made his face numb, and he couldn’t feel anything else. Fear swept up and down his body.
It happened years ago— he thought the feeling would fade as time went on— but the fear clearly caught up to him again, when he least expected it, on a cold, somber night where he was meant to loosen up a little and have fun. Escape, he needed to escape somewhere. His hands balled into fists when he thought about going to William and asking if he could leave. No— they just got here, for fuck’s sake— he couldn’t ruin it for him!
Ganji was sweating profusely under his layers. He opened the back door with trembling hands, taking off his shoes and his coat to enter. His hand placed itself over his chest, hitting himself so his heart would stop racing. His head was going to explode from the overstimulation.
There were people in the kitchen. People that turned and stared at him funny when he was standing at the door, trying to calm down. Ganji made eye contact with them, and identified a few in the bunch to be his cricket teammates.
"Hey, Ganji," one greeted him, to his amazement. Another raised their hand in an informal wave, and he returned the gesture with a quiet "hi" before they all resumed their discussion.
Ganji walked past the dining room, where he could hear a large group shouting and chanting. He saw an intense game of beer pong was going down between a girl and a guy— it smelled strongly of alcohol, sweat, and cheap perfume mingling together. He left before anyone called him out for staring.
The living room wasn’t any less crowded. Ganji steered away upon walking in on a couple on top of each other, making out and taking up an entire sofa. He had heard the stereotype of people attending parties just to get laid, but it was awkward to really witness it in person.
William was still outside. The batter constantly checked to see if he’d chase after him after he ran inside, but it seemed like he got caught in the mass wave of people who wanted to see him. It was a shame— that was the prettiest smile Ganji had seen from him, and he wished he could’ve heard him laugh and talk before they separated. He wondered how happy he must’ve felt knowing he was always wanted.
Ganji blamed it on the entire mess he had with Evelyn, but he liked William more than he did before. He expected himself to hate his roommate after what he did, and he was sure he’d hate him even more knowing he did it while dating someone else. But he couldn’t bring himself to. He’d think about him at every hour.
Sometimes, he’d stare at his back when he was sleeping across the room, silently studying it. He’d dream about how it felt to be kissed, held, and loved so deeply again. He’d always outdo himself at cricket practice, hoping William would stop by and watch him. He’d give him a bigger portion of food whenever he cooked for the two of them. Everything was suddenly motivated by a craving for love.
Ganji shook himself out of his thoughts. This was a time to escape from his life, to lay back and relax for once. William needed his fun, so he’d stay as long as he had to. Approaching the drinks, he hesitantly filled a red cup with a concoction from a glass bowl. It smelled like alcohol, with fruity notes. Ganji hardly drank alcohol willingly— when he got wasted last time, he made that mistake with William.
He found an unoccupied corner of the house to sit in for a few minutes, scrolling on his phone to avoid social interaction. Ganji swallowed down the drink and ignored the burn and strange aftertaste it left in his mouth. From where he was sitting, he could overhear people murmuring about him. He tuned it out.
The alcohol was giving him a headache. Despite not finishing half of the drink, he felt sick already. Ganji needed fresh air, away from the fire, away from the people. The front yard would’ve been a good place to go. The batter fixed his sweatshirt, pulling the sleeves down as he treaded quickly to the front door. His hand turned the knob, and he stared out at the night sky in front of him, seconds from discovering something he wasn’t meant to see.
To his right, there was another couple. He could’ve ignored it.
Why didn’t he?
A girl sitting on the railing on the patio, nose pressed against a guy’s when he kissed her long and hard. The flash of long, ginger hair. It paralyzed him from pure humiliation— Evelyn was here— what kind of guy did she ditch him for? He remembered that Nora never told him who it was— more like he didn’t ask— but it didn’t matter now, because he was about to find out. He looked him up and down,
with his black hair,
his nose bridge piercing,
and the scar on his eye.
Ganji was breathless.
Why Norton, out of all people?
The batter turned around and went back through the door to get inside the house. He left hastily, so she wouldn’t have time to open her eyes and see him. Ganji was dumbfounded. It felt intentional, like the universe played yet another cruel joke on him again. Of course it had to be him to walk in on it.
He was twitching with anger. Ganji ran a hand over his face, clawing and grabbing a fistful of his hair. Words couldn’t express how hurt he felt. There was no choice but to go home.
Ganji stumbled outside, completely forgetting where he left his coat. He was too unbothered to grab it, and he walked into the cold, searching the dispersed crowds for the silhouette of his friend. The batter identified William after seeing him tower over his teammates.
".. nah, we broke up a few days ago. I caught her cheating with some guy from our rival school." a rugby player laughed, taking a long drink from his cup. "She was ugly as fuck, anyway. Not like I wanted her anymore."
"I’m sorry about that, man. I’m sure there’s someone else out there." William tilted his head.
"That’s why I came here. Gotta find a cute girl first. How’s your girlfriend, though?"
"She’s amazing. I love her to death." the forward blushed, embarrassed. "I think Maeve’s the one. If I could, I’d really love to marry her."
William took Ganji’s words into consideration and tried to spend more time with his girlfriend so he’d understand who he really loved. And he had to thank him for that— their relationship was thriving, and he was devoted to that woman. It made him wonder where the batter was, now that he thought about it.
"You look way happier. Hope you guys do well. You want some beer?"
"Nah."
"Really? You used to drink a lot."
"Not tonight. I don’t feel like it."
"William?" A soft voice called out his name. He wouldn’t have heard it if it weren’t for the hand that touched his back. William took a good look over his shoulder, stunned to see Ganji standing behind him.
"What’s up, Gupta?" He turned to face him.
Ganji whispered, far too quietly. He was drowned out by the music. His eyes were weirdly glassy, and his face was almost as red as the shit-faced people around them. William’s eyes wandered all over his features.
"What did you say?" The forward raised his voice, leaning forward. Ganji’s lips tightened.
".. need to—!" Ganji spoke a little louder, but it wasn’t enough.
"What?" William repeated. The curly haired man looked uncomfortable and close to breaking down. Ganji shook his head and gave up, waving a dismissive hand to tell him to just forget it. Staring at his neck, William saw how his Adam’s apple shifted when he swallowed hard like he regularly did when he was rattled up. The look on his face, he’d seen many times as well. He didn’t understand what Ganji was trying to say until he was already out of sight.
"Ganji!" William chased after him. When Ganji darted inside the house and tried to run to the bathroom to lock himself up, the forward grabbed his arm. He was stiff.
"Ganji, what were you going to tell me?"
"Are you having fun?"
".. I.. guess?"
"Then don’t worry about it."
"Ganji, you want to go home, don’t you?"
"Leave me alone!" Ganji snapped, throwing William’s hand off of his arm. "I’m staying if you’re staying, alright? I want you to- to make the most of your time. I am not ruining this."
He smelled like alcohol— the sweet type. It mixed with his cologne, and it repelled the horrific odors in the house— the weed, the alcohol, the sweat. William leaned closer just to be eye level with him.
"You’re not ruining anything. I’ve spent enough time here, Gupta. I can attend more parties when I want to. It won’t kill me to leave a little early, you hear? I’ll gladly leave if you’re not feelin’ it."
"But there’s—"
"Come on. Get your coat. I’m takin’ you somewhere."
"What? Where are we going?"
"I wanna show you a spot."
"Right now?"
"Right now, baby."
"Anywhere that’s far from here. Please."
"Gotcha."
Whether it was the bumpy road or the aftermath of realizing that his failed date neglected him to hook up with his old roommate, Ganji felt sick to his stomach. He didn’t tell William anything. It’d be his problem tonight. He couldn’t count on ever telling William that kind of stuff anymore.
As he was driving, the forward checked up on the cricketer in the passenger seat. Ganji had his coat in his arms instead of on his body, and he was fidgeting with it, hugging it tightly. He looked absolutely awful— he wanted to know what happened, if anything at all. Maybe the party was too much for a first-timer. Where he was taking him would hopefully clear his mind.
William drove through a trail in the woods, miraculously keeping his car balanced with the rugged terrain. They approached a lake, and from the horizon, they could see the glistening moonlight reflect off of the gentle waters, along with the bright red bridge in the distance.
"Are you going to kill me and dump my body here?" Ganji muttered.
"Nope."
William parked his car a few feet away from the lake. He opened up the sunroof and climbed up onto the top of his car, signaling for Ganji to follow him. Ganji threw his coat out of his arms and climbed up to join him.
"Where’s your coat?" the forward questioned.
"Don’t need it."
William sat back with his palms on the car roof and let his legs dangle down into the car, whereas the other man kept his legs crossed. He marveled at the beauty of the bridge from afar. The exhaustion that once existed in his eyes had died out and was replaced with wonder.
"I used to go here all the time. It’s my special spot." the forward explained. He stopped to try and read the emotion in the batter’s face. William always thought he knew him well, but it never seemed to be the case. At some point, they felt distant, despite living in the same unit. Ganji was there, but never close enough to him. He was almost at arm’s length, but not within his reach.
"It looks amazing from here. Shit’s straight out of a movie." Ganji whispered out into the cold. His lips felt immobilized, frozen from the merciless, chilly air. William tapped his finger on the car, lost in the sight of the glow in the sky above them. It was a full moon tonight.
"I know, right? But it looks just as nice up close."
"For sure. What I mean is.. whether you’re at the bridge or sitting far from it, nothing changes how you look at it. That’s the way it is— it was always meant to be perfect, to attract people because it stands out." Ganji pointed across the river that stretched below the red bridge. "If you look hard enough, you can see a smaller bridge just down there."
William squinted, unable to locate the structure. Ganji gently redirected his chin towards it.
"Do you see it now?"
"I see it. It’s so dark, it blends in too easily. Nobody would notice it at night."
"Not when there’s a better bridge out there."
"I guess so."
Ganji laid down, resting on his back. He threw an arm over his eyes, his shoulders shaking after a long exhale.
"Ellis, what’s the first thing you think about when you see Peaceful Haven?"
"That bridge? When I went there with Maeve." William chuckled. "That was basically our first date. When I knew I was in love with her. I even have the picture set to my home screen."
He unlocked his phone and showed it to Ganji. His eyes scrutinized the picture thoroughly— the picture of his girlfriend standing at that bridge, standing tall and proud of herself. That was someone William deserved to be with. Guess everything was being thrown at his face today.
Fuck, the batter nodded slowly, masking his reaction. I set myself up for that one. He was hoping to use this chance to reflect on old memories or something with William. But he wasn’t a priority anymore.
William watched how fast Ganji went quiet. The cold wind rattled the trees around them. They were met with silence for a while. He wondered if he said something wrong.. he knew he did. Their feelings were never brought up— William didn’t know if it was a sensitive topic or not, but he wouldn’t ever mention it first. It took a few seconds for the batter to peek from under his arm and finally talk again.
"I’m really glad you found her. People are right when they say you look a lot better."
"I took your advice. Honestly, I like it better this way- everything feels real, and it’s not forced. Someone really appreciates me and tells me how important I am. I love Maeve, and I want to commit to her. I owe it all to you for giving me the encouragement I needed. So.. thank you."
"Of course. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t help you?" Ganji covered his eyes and laughed dryly.
"I still think you’re pretty great."
"You’re the only one who does."
"Nothing would change my mind." William ran his hand through Ganji’s hair. He didn’t messily ruffle up his curls in the playful fashion he had always done. It was so soothing and peaceful, it.. hurt. Not physically. For Ganji, it hurt like hell, because it was he who knew that William was messing with his heart again. He’d say these beautiful, unreal things to make him smile for just a second, and then it went back to nothing. That was how he had fun.
His arm pushed away the forward’s hand.
Sitting up straight, he buried his face in his hands, controlling his anxious breaths. William leaned forward in alarm and touched his hands, asking for permission to let him look at him. The blistering cold bit at Ganji’s skin when he removed his hands from his eyes.
"Is something wrong?"
"Nothing. Sorry. Forget it."
Forget it, forget it, forget it, that was all he ever said. William’s eyebrows furrowed with doubt. Every time he said "forget it", it was all he’d remember. He wanted Ganji to trust him for once— why couldn’t he?
"Ganji, you know it’s just us. You can tell me anything right now."
"I told you to forget it. Nothing’s wrong."
"Okay. You swear you’re alright?"
"I swear." his voice cracked. William almost threw himself over Ganji to hug him. His heart was burning at the sight of his friend sliding back down through the sunroof and disappearing into the car, and he felt helpless yet again. There was nothing to do to help him— Ganji never cracked for anyone. He wasn’t an exception. Not anymore.
William followed him and dropped into the driver’s seat, closing the sunroof and starting up the car.
"Let’s go home."
Notes:
hellooo and thank you all so much for your support (๑>◡<๑) i know i’ve been posting slow recently but i have my finals next week, take this as my parting gift before i continue the next chapter!!
Chapter 8: Company
Summary:
Ganji’s building a new relationship with a new girl, and William can’t stop himself from feeling frustrated. He makes a promise to see the batter over Christmas break so they can make up time together.
Notes:
I wanna rip my eyes out anyways HAPPY NEW YEAR! Willganji wins
Chapter Text
The day after the party, Maeve invited Ganji and William to go ice skating in a group. She requested to do it indoors since she was skeptical about the thickness of the frozen lake and wasn’t willing to take a risk. She was particularly thrilled about the idea of finally putting their double-date plan into action.
"You can bring Evelyn this time, right, Ganji? " Maeve asked through William’s phone, as they were on a call together. The two athletes were in their dorm, William seated at their small dining table while Ganji was packing stuff to go see his family.
"Nah, we ended things recently," he lied. "I can ask Nora to come, though."
" Oh— I’m.. sorry about that. But bringing Nora would be great too! Let me know if she’s available so I can give you guys details."
"Sure. I’ll ask her."
"So you do like her?" William raised an eyebrow, mumbling.
"What? No. We’re going as friends."
"Sure."
The forward raised one leg onto his chair, holding his phone up to his ear. By the looks of it, he was going over the time for when they’d go. Ganji moved away from his suitcase and bags, walking to his bed to call Nora. After two rings, she picked up the phone.
"Ganji? "
"Hi. Has your break started yet?"
" Yeah."
" How were your exams?"
" They were a little hard, but I think I did good! How were yours?"
"I think I passed. Hey, by the way— you goin’ anywhere today?" Ganji peeked at William’s calendar on the wall, rocking back and forth on his feet.
" I should be free. Is this about you guys wanting to hang out?"
"It is. I was wondering if you’d want to come ice skating with me— I-I mean.. with us."
"I’d be happy to come with you, " her voice was airy, almost sounding like she practically smiled through the phone. Nora let out a confused hum when someone started talking to her— Ganji stayed quiet when he listened to the murmurs of a girl teasing her.
(" .. who are you calling? Is it a boy.. aw.. he sounds cute.. who is it?")
"No, no! Hey, stop trying to be nosy! Go away for a second!"
William put both of his legs on the table, frowning with his phone still pressed up against his ear. He was stalking Ganji without realizing it, judging how he swayed awkwardly to show his uneasiness. The batter had that ridiculously cute grin on his face, the one William recognized effortlessly. It was the kind that made him bite back his laughter, resorting to an unintentionally flirty giggle instead. His eyes darted around the room, his head tilting up at the ceiling, checking out the corner, or just observing the dates on the calendar.
The forward wasn’t jealous of all— he wasn’t that kind of a man. Or that’s what he thought. However, he constantly questioned Ganji’s actions, asking himself: When was the last time I made him that happy? Why is someone else doing it better than me?
Ganji sat down on his bed, making a quick whispering sound to Cricket while using his hand to bring her over to him. The cat began slinking towards him, stretching over his lap and melting under his palm.
"You down for ice skating?" he asked through the phone.
" I’m so bad at ice skating!"
"What the hell makes you think I’m any better?" Ganji scoffed.
"Then.. alright. I can probably come! Wh—"
("Nora, who’s the guy!? Are you going on a date with him? Oh my god, tell me something already!")
"Stop! Okay, you know what? Message me the details later! I’ll call you back! Bye!"
"Ah.. bye, Nora."
Ganji blinked rapidly after she hung up on him. It made him worry that she never addressed him by his name, so the other girl could’ve been a friend of Evelyn’s. Would he get her in trouble if they found out she was talking to him?
Cricket meowed loud enough to catch his attention, and she rolled onto her back, wiggling around in his lap. The batter ran his hand along her stomach while she purred.
"You’re not tiny anymore, are you?" he grinned. Holding his fingers to her mouth, she lapped her coarse tongue on his skin lovingly. Cricket rubbed her head against his clothes as he showered her in soft praises, pointing out how much she’d grown. She could barely sit on his thigh when she was little!
Maeve ended the call a few minutes ago because she was busy, but William continued to pretend like he was still on the phone with her. He listened to Ganji, focusing on his voice more than his words. Cricket wasn’t the only one who went through some change these few months. The roughness of Ganji’s words and snarky tone from before contrasted with his low, careful whispers here. His hair was a little longer, loose strands veiling his worn, tired eyes— his hands were firm, cautiously holding Cricket like she was everything to him.
William snuck a short recording of the scene, zooming in to inspect the batter. Cricket tilted her head towards the camera, but Ganji didn’t see anything. He stopped before he got suspicious.
It felt so long ago when the batter met his cat. William opened his photo album of Ganji for the first time in a while. The blast of nostalgia hit him right away, as his eyes settled on the videos and pictures of Ganji and Cricket. He opened the first clip he saw.
("Hi, baby.") Ganji spoke to her fondly. William’s eyes fixated on his face, missing him as if he wasn’t just sitting a few feet away right now. He let the video play more.
( "I can’t believe you like me just for my cat.")
( "Aw, William, don’t misunderstand it I don’t like you. I do like your cat, though.")
Ganji stopped petting Cricket’s fur, resting his hands on her neck when he heard the audio. His roommate gazed warmly at his phone screen— what in the world could he be watching? It sounded like his voice, but he wasn’t certain that it was. Allowing the cat to hop down from his legs, she stretched before striding elsewhere.
"What are you watching?" Ganji slid off the bed, rising. As he came closer to him, William’s eyes moved rapidly between him and his screen.
"Nothing," the man got up and stretched as well, raising his arms behind his head. "So, what’d she say to hanging out?"
"She said she’s down."
"Do I need to give you both a ride?"
Ganji raised his brow, scoffing softly as he shook his head. He stood in front of William with his arms crossed, nodding over to his keys on his desk.
"No. Did you forget I can drive? I can take Nora myself. You can take Maeve."
"So?" William huffed. "Tch- actually, you know what, man?"
He slid his arm over Ganji’s shoulders, hugging him close enough so the sides of their heads were touching. If it weren’t for William’s staggering body weight being forced down on him, the batter would’ve attempted to push him away. Ganji felt like he understood what he was doing; William’s behavior was usually predictable after some time.
"We’re roommates. It’d be less of a hassle if we went together. You wouldn’t have to waste your gas and shit."
"You always tell me this.."
"It’s mandatory for you to ride in my car. I don’t make the rules."
"What a dumb excuse. I’m taking my car, William."
"Nah, don’t."
"I’m not changing my mind."
"Please come with me. I’ll let you ride shotgun! I fucking miss havin’ you sit up front sometimes. Remember? Like we used to do when I first invited you?"
"Someone else will be sitting there."
Ganji’s monotonous voice struck a chord somewhere deep in William’s heart like it was something he needed to hear and accept. He wasn’t the only one— Ganji himself felt the sting of his own words as they rolled out of his mouth. How William had the nerve to bring up the past in hopes he’d soften up to him.
He missed riding in the front seat too, getting to live in the moment with William. But did he ever complain about not getting to experience that anymore? No- he knew better. Ganji knew when to keep quiet because it was hammered into his head since he was a child.
The cricketer grabbed the other’s arm, tossing it off of his shoulders.
"Riding with or without you, we’re still going to the same place. I’m not sure what more you could want than that."
William was too frustrated to respond. Ganji had supposedly gotten colder, and it made him uncomfortable. He was used to being friendly with him, and being rejected didn’t hurt as much as it did now. From being Ganji’s closest friend to someone he’d much rather spend time away from, he was restless about the risk of their friendship collapsing.
".. sorry, then. We’ll see you there."
William and Maeve reached the ice skating rink first. It was freezing outside- he preferred to sit in the heat of his car while they waited for Ganji and Nora to arrive, so he mindlessly talked to his girlfriend to kill time. Now and then he would tune out the conversation and start thinking of Ganji.
He didn’t mean to let his mind wander so often. The forward was sure he had been able to let go of his “attachment” to the batter, but when he looked at Maeve, her face reminded him of Ganji. These sudden flashbacks of sitting in this car with him a few months again, he wanted it all back. Maybe he fucked up big time by recklessly kissing him first.
A car pulled up next to their parking space, honking out of nowhere. William flinched from surprise, peering over Maeve’s head.
Ganji nodded his head in his direction in a short greeting. William’s lips spread into a wide smile before parting when a girl leaned forward next to the curly-haired man. Nora waved enthusiastically, and Maeve returned the gesture with just as much energy.
Everyone got out of their cars, meeting up in a group in the parking lot. Nora rocked back and forth on her feet, standing alongside Ganji. William and Maeve studied the batter and the girl he brought, most likely thinking the same thing: did they look like a good couple?
Ganji kept a few inches of space away from her so she wouldn’t feel too much pressure. She wasn’t hiding the fact that she wanted to stay close to him— Nora would step towards his side, and he wouldn’t move away after that. Nora’s arm was practically touching against his, and he didn’t mind it. They exchanged short glances, always followed by a flustered look.
"You’re Nora, right?" Maeve finally began.
"Yeah.. hi," Nora mumbled shyly in response, clutching her bag in her hands, marveling at the other girl. "You’re so pretty."
"Oh, god, thank you so much!- You’re so sweet! I’m Maeve, and this is my boyfriend, William." She laid a hand on the forward’s arm, pulling him towards her so he’d introduce himself.
".. Hey. I’m Ganji’s roommate," he paused. "And his best friend."
Ganji’s brows twitched. He wasn’t going to deny it out loud, but why did he throw that part in? William didn’t show him off and tell everyone he was his “best friend”.
"So I heard. Ganji talks about you sometimes." Nora leaned her head towards the batter, brushing against his shoulder to test the waters. To William’s astonishment, he let her.
"He does?" he gawked, incredulous.
"Don’t get your hopes up, William. I just told her you’re the big dog I gotta watch over every day."
"Who are you calling a dog, huh?" William looked him up and down, smirking. Ganji rolled his eyes and offered a hand to Nora.
"I can carry your bag."
"Thank you.." Nora passed her tote bag over him. It slid nicely over his arm, secure in his grasp. Ganji gazed down at her, making a small motion to get the girl to walk with him.
"We can go inside."
William and Maeve followed them inside, carefully watching the two ahead. The forward was more interested for some reason. It was weird to see Ganji acting as the bigger guy in a conversation because he would always be just below his height. These things made him start thinking about how William used to be the only person he’d willingly talk to— now it was like he didn’t need him.
"You alright?" Maeve nudged William’s arm. He lowered his eyes from his best friend to look at her.
"Yeah, ‘course I am. Ganji’s testing his luck with another girl, so I gotta be there for him, right?"
"I’m glad you’re supportive of him. But look, William- they look happy already. I don’t think you should worry about anything."
He knew she wasn’t lying or saying that to make him feel better. She was being honest. Nora brought back the life in Ganji’s eyes and the realness of his laughter. Even when they were simply waiting to pay to get into the rink, he was so entertained by her presence, and she felt comfortable enough to talk freely without fearing any judgment. They both had the desire for respect, and they would give it to one another.
Ganji caught William red-handed when he was staring right at him. His gaze trailed down to his shoes before traveling up his body, and the batter half-shrugged with a curt nod.
He was a bit of a hypocrite sometimes. William admitted to intentionally trying to make Ganji jealous before, but when he gets the chance to just try and distract himself so he could finally start moving on, the forward would give him those pathetic puppy eyes. Looking upset as if he wasn’t the problem.. what a joke.
After everyone paid to enter, they got their skates and headed for the lockers. Maeve took their stuff and set them neatly inside the small compartment, shutting the door to secure it. Ganji seated himself on a bench, and William joined him by taking the spot next to him.
"Good friends, huh?" he snickered, removing his shoes and sliding his skates on. His fingers moved swiftly to tie the laces as tight as he could.
"You’re still going on about this?"
"Nah, I’m not trying to judge you. You guys are cute. Isn’t this too soon to be going on dates, though?"
"Why does that worry you?"
"You said it yourself— you like to take things slow."
"Maybe I’ve changed, William. Face it. And even if I don’t take things slow anymore, do you ever think about whose fault that is?" The batter let out a frustrated sigh, wetting his lips and biting on them. He finished tying his laces and got off the bench. Nora was sitting close by, slowly fumbling with her skates. Her fingers felt too clumsy to do it quickly. Ganji got onto his knees in front of her, taking her foot gently.
"Do you need help?"
"Yes, please. I hate these things." Nora leaned back and groaned.
Ganji chuckled at her complaining. He worked the laces through each hole, looping them together while adjusting them so they wouldn’t hurt her. His voice was so incredibly soft when he would constantly ask if they were too tight, and the amount of concern in his words made William feel— he’d be honest— weird.
Feeling he should be doing the same thing, he got up and turned to Maeve.
"Maeve, do you need-"
"Hm?" She hummed, standing up next to him. William glanced down at her skates, neatly tied before he could finish his sentence. He narrowed his eyes, and with a defeated frown, took back what he was going to say.
Ganji finished what he was doing and took Nora’s hand to help her up. She tripped on her skates for a moment, clinging onto his arm like a frightened animal before she had the chance to snap her ankles. The batter stifled a laugh, keeping her balanced.
"You weren’t kidding at all, were you?"
"Don’t laugh now, because I warned you."
"I can’t laugh either. I suck at this."
"Well, maybe we can fall together then. Just don’t fall onto me. "
"Can’t make any promises."
He liked the sound of that. Falling together. He’d be embarrassed to make a fool out of himself in a public area, but knowing she’d be prepared to look stupid as well provided the solidarity he needed.
William didn’t hate Nora. She didn’t do anything wrong. Seeing Ganji give his undivided attention to her, though, always gave him a headache, or made his body tense. He never felt as strongly with Evelyn, considering they never met in person. Maeve almost pointed out his clenched jaw and squinted eyes, but he forced himself to relax after a while.
That girl must have known how charismatic she was. Ganji almost forgot the world around him existed as long as he was looking at her. And suddenly, the night where everything went wrong, it flooded into William’s mind in the midst of it all.
I was always the one being chased by others, but I never quite thought I’d find myself chasing after someone this desperately. I’ve been loved by people, but I couldn’t give it back to them. Everything was easy.
"Come on, William." Maeve took his hand to drag him with the group onto the ice. His feet moved accordingly, but his mind wasn’t there yet.
"I’ll die with that secret. If it means your life goes back to normal, I’ll forget I ever felt anything for you, and I’ll— I’ll go back to watching you from afar."
Ganji told him that back then. When he was in William’s arms, and nobody else’s. Was this the “normal life” he was supposed to expect? Everything felt like an illusion to him as he gazed at the batter and the girl close to him.
Ganji advised him on more than one occasion to forget him. Because William chose not to, he was going to be the one forgotten instead. The pang of realization felt like someone slapped him in the face.
Nora hesitated at the edge of the ice. Turning back to Ganji, she nervously gripped the edge of the boards surrounding the rink, tapping her skate on the ice experimentally.
"Don’t chicken out." Ganji snorted.
"I’m not! Shut up and give me a second, okay?" Nora laughed, hitting him away when she noticed he was trying to push her forward. "Stop! I’m not ready!"
She finally stepped onto the ice with both feet, gliding forward at a snail’s pace. Swinging her arms around to not fall over, she wobbled uncontrollably as her knees stiffened. Once she could stand straight, she smiled proudly at the batter. Ganji looked equally as pleased as she did.
"Come on." Nora held her hand out, guiding herself to the wall so she could waddle safely.
"Fine. I don’t need another leg injury, though."
Ganji got onto the ice in the same skittish way as she did. Though unfortunately, he couldn’t play off his blunder as well as she did. The ice was nothing like the floor he was just walking on, and the slippery surface gave him no time to react. His skates moved erratically— panicking, Ganji swerved towards the wall, the one Nora was leaning against as she was crying from tears of laughter.
"Shit!"
Her cackles were consumed by fear when she heard him curse out loud. He was barreling right at her, and it was too late to move away to get to safety. Nora shrieked and covered herself, bracing for impact.
Ganji managed to stop himself with his arms before he hurt her. The batter crashed against the clear windows with a loud rattle, hissing from the dull pain in his forearms. His head briefly collided with the wall, dazing him for a few seconds before he could steady himself. Ganji searched around for Nora’s face.
She was right below him, still crouching and shielding herself with her arms. Lowering them so she could peek up, she widened her eyes when nothing.. hurt. Nora was relieved to see Ganji relatively unharmed. His arms pressed against the cold windows, somewhat trapping her. She could spy the cold breath that shakily escaped his mouth.
"You okay?" Ganji mumbled after a minute to recollect himself.
"Yeah. Yeah, I am, but are you?"
"Could’ve been worse," he replied through grit teeth.
"You’re just as bad as me."
"Oh, I know. But you think it’s funny, don’t you, Nora?"
She grinned ear-to-ear, snickering while pushing his face away. Ganji scrunched his face with an amused look, touching his hand over the one on his cheek. He moved backward to get off the wall and give her space.
William and Maeve had been watching the entire time. She couldn’t stop howling when Ganji first crashed into the window and got Nora stuck under him; she slapped William’s shoulder in the middle of her fit of laughter, her words slurring together from how hard she was giggling.
"This is the kind of shit you only see in movies!" she punched his arm, harder than the last. William was barely swayed by it, but he forced a little chuckle at the moment. Ganji’s little head shake after he rammed his face into the wall was cute.
"We should.. join them."
William got onto the ice, holding Maeve’s hand so she couldn’t slip. She reassured him that she would be confident enough to not have to rely on him to stay on her feet, but she was more than happy to accept his help anyway. He glided backward, accidentally bumping into someone in his way. Instinctively, he reached out and grabbed their arm to catch them in case they fell.
"Sorry."
"You better be, asshole."
The rude reply made him glare over his shoulder. He turned himself on his skates to face the person, looking down at the scars that ran across their nose—
Oh.
Ganji held up the arm that William’s hand was tightly wrapped around. It seemed like his favorite thing to do; grabbing onto him without thinking about who he was. Whenever he stared back at him, it was easy to read what was going on behind the forward’s eyes. He was in awe, with the pressure of both Ganji and Nora watching him.
Though he intended to neglect his feelings for William by focusing on Nora, how could he ignore his puppy eyes? Ganji wasn’t immune to them. He couldn’t help it if he wanted to play around with William the same way he did with him.
"You’re a little rough, you know? Can’t you take it easy on me just one time?" Ganji cocked his head slyly.
"It ain’t my fault you’re a small guy," William smirked, dropping his wrist.
"Who’re you calling small, Ellis?"
"I don’t know. But it’s not me."
"I beg to differ." Ganji leaned towards him. The corners of William’s mouth curled up into a charmed smile. His eyes identified the familiar scar on Ganji’s lip, and he was already itching to get a taste of him again.
"I’d watch your mouth if I were you. Don’t wanna get slammed into the wall for the second time, do you, Gupta?"
"You wouldn’t. I know you wouldn’t."
William grabbed his hand. Ganji was startlingly colder than him, but he liked the sting of it. Squeezing his palm, he yanked him forward, forcing him to move on his skates. The batter hummed fearfully, leaving Nora behind. Maeve approached the girl and idled next to her.
"They’re like kids," she commented, fixing her necklace.
"I think it’s funny." Nora tucked her hair behind her ear, keeping her hand at the side of her head. "Now that I look at it, Ganji does look a little smaller next to William— but only by a little, of course."
"Yep," Maeve checked out her hand. Without warning, she lifted Nora’s fingers, staring at her nails. "Your nails are so cute!"
They were a very pale pink, and the light reflected off of the gel. Her hands were so well-manicured. Nora blushed from the compliment, laughing while her fingers clasped gently around Maeve’s.
"Thank you. I love yours too."
"Thank you! Wanna skate together?"
"I’m not good at this.."
"I can help you."
"I’d like that."
Ganji was already dragged halfway around the rink because of William. He wanted to shove his hand away, but if he were to let go, he knew damn well he couldn’t do anything to save himself. It was guaranteed that he would end up smashing into a child and flip over their walker. Digging his nails into the forward’s skin, he almost collapsed.
"Can you at least slow down?"
"You can keep up."
"How do you go so fast?"
"I used to do speed skating." William shrugged. He adjusted his grip on Ganji’s hand, transitioning to stand in front of him so he’d be the one leading. The batter hurriedly reached for his other hand, clinging onto both of them.
"You never told me that."
"You never asked."
“How could I ask?" Ganji sighed. "I.. don’t know anything about you."
William slowed down. The shorter man let out a weak groan when he shortly bumped against his chest, hands still intertwined. He was worried about Nora questioning it, even more concerned about Maeve. His fingers attempted to loosen and pull away, but the taller didn’t budge.
"What are you doing? Why’d you stop?" Ganji mumbled. "William?"
"I— I didn’t know you felt that way. But you’ve been distant lately. I know we talk and shit, but it feels too casual. I miss those times when we.. you know.. got to spend time together."
"We’re doing that right-"
"Alone, Ganji," William emphasizes the first word with an imploring look. He doesn’t want him as a lover; he’s begging to have his best friend back. Maybe it’s because he already accepted that Ganji doesn’t want to be with him, but he misses his company more than anything. His hands run hot, cupping the batter’s.
"I want to see you again." He breathes slowly. His best friend studies his face before deciding on an answer. Ganji looks at his eyebrows, his nose, his cheekbones, and his short beard. It’s hard for him to admit that he never lost feelings for him, so he pretends to not understand.
"I don’t get it."
"I want you to talk to me."
"You want too many things."
"Am I being too demanding?"
"Very."
"Please, talk to me again."
"Still demanding."
"Please, Ganji, can we talk to each other again?"
"I’ve never seen you so desperate," the batter laughs warmly, caressing William’s hand with his thumb before prying them away. "Why are you acting this way all of a sudden? You don’t act like this when we’re actually alone."
"No reason."
"Tell me the truth."
"Nothing! I swear!"
Ganji turns his head to find Nora somewhere on the ice. She’s shuffling awkwardly, latching onto Maeve’s arm as they’re hugging each other tightly to stay warm. William’s eyes are pulled towards the two girls, and he instantly looks down with shame. Ganji touches his arm, grabbing the cuff of his sleeve to pull him along.
"It’s Nora, isn’t it?"
"No." William almost growls under his breath. He closes his eyes, running his hand over his forehead. "No, it’s not."
"Spit it out, Ellis. There’s no point in hiding it."
"Ganji-" the forward hissed in a low whisper, embarrassed. "No! It’s not! It’s not like that, babe- fuck, no, no, no- it’s not her."
He’s stumbling on his own words, but William’s still skating better than Ganji. His body language looked relaxed, but because the batter’s holding his wrist so he wouldn’t slip, he could tell he was extremely tense. Always a bad liar.
"How many times do I have to remind you? I’m not stupid. The first time I talked to her, you kept pulling me away, wanting to stick around with me. Maeve was right there. You didn’t notice me at all until I talked to another person. Why?"
"Because- Ganji, come on- it’s.."
"It’s what? You keep on going back and forth and it kind of hurts, William. You’ve always made me feel like a second choice."
"I don’t want you to feel that way."
"Well, you did anyway, but it’s nothing new."
"Is that why you’ve been quiet?"
"I’d rather not say."
William digs his blades into the ice to stop. With a solemn glance, he nods over to the bleachers outside of the rink, and Ganji agrees to sit down for a minute. The forward guides them off the ice, offering support to balance the batter as he adjusted to walking on the floor again. They found empty spots and settled down. The taller of the two leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees and fidgeting with his fingers.
"I’m sorry. I know. Everything’s hard, and it’s my fault."
"Right about something for once." Ganji ran his hand through his curls, averting his eyes.
"Please, Ganji. Let me do something to make it up to you."
"You could come over for Christmas— or.. nevermind. I’d assume you have plans already."
"Huh? No, I can come."
"I was joking. You.. you don’t need to do anything to- to make up for it. I was being stupid. Just forget it, William."
There it was. He said it again.
William sat up straighter. At first, he seemed to glare at Ganji disapprovingly, but then his eyes softened. He lifted his arms and pulled him into a hug, holding his hand over the back of his head. The batter was shaken by the sudden gesture.
"How could I forget it if I knew something was wrong? I can’t ignore someone who needs me."
"W-"
"I’ll come to your house for Christmas," he slid away, holding a hand on Ganji’s bicep. "Just give me your address and a time. I’m not changing my mind."
".. thank you."
"I’ll give you all my time. Just us two. Don’t ever think you’re not special to me— you’ve always got a place in my heart, alright?"
The weak tapping of blades interrupted their conversation. Nora and Maeve got off the ice after finding the two athletes sitting down to take a break. The brunette hovered behind Ganji, putting her hands on his shoulders.
"Did something happen?"
"I got a headache. It’s fine, though." Ganji touched William’s hand, squeezing it subtly before he brushed him off to stand up. "Are you getting any better at skating?"
"Yes, actually. Maeve taught me how to move on my own."
"Let’s go test it out, then."
Ganji abandoned William to follow Nora, not casting a single glance back. The forward hoped their conversation was of some importance. This whole concept of “moving on” was easier said than done; they were both struggling.
Ganji and Nora stuck together the entire time they were at the rink. William managed to sneak a video of them skating together, holding hands before she lost balance and knocked the both of them down. They both slipped backward and nearly smacked their heads into the ice, but the spellbinding smile of the batter made William stop recording the moment.
They stopped to get snacks, and Ganji discovered a cotton candy machine near the entrance. Nora was amused by being able to watch the process, and they shared the giant flower-shaped sweet once it finished.
"I like the red part," Ganji mumbled after stuffing a piece in his mouth. He even tore out a chunk to force-feed William (who accepted it generously without a second thought).
"The yellow part tastes like banana."
"Really? Let me try."
"Sure."
Nora held the cotton candy by the stick, overlapping Ganji’s hand. She stood up high on her toes, brushing against his lips for a few seconds. He wasn’t expecting anything like it, but he accepted the kiss despite how faint it was. His mind wandered too far when he almost compared it to the way William kissed him the first time.
Ganji blinked slowly when she got back down on her feet. He was taken aback by the surprise, but it made him elated to see that she was interested in him. It helped his self-confidence a lot after that humiliating time he saw Evelyn with.. someone else.
William was standing directly next to him with bulging eyes, his phone slowly slipping in his hand. Maeve caught it before it fell and pushed his fingers around it so it wouldn’t drop again.
"Yes! Finally!" she shouted enthusiastically. "I was counting on you, girl!"
Nora shot her a thumbs-up with a twinkle in her eyes. Ganji turned to William, dumbfounded by how much he looked like a kicked puppy. How could he be upset about this? Had he forgotten that they agreed to only stay as friends?
William’s eyes flickered between the batter and the brunette. He sighed for a second before giving him a nod. Ganji kept fixating on the way his face slightly twitched and how his eyebrows knit together, but he could only stand and watch when William removed himself from the group to use the restroom.
They returned to the dorm in silence. Ganji was on his phone during the walk there, waiting for William to open the door. He needed to gather the last of his things to leave for his family’s house tomorrow- it’d be worth talking to his roommate for the last few hours they’d spend together.
"So," Ganji bumped his arm gently, stuffing his phone into his pocket, "did you have fun today?"
"I did."
"You were a bit of a show-off with those tricks."
"Did I impress you?"
"Sure you did."
"Then that’s all I needed to hear." William pushed the door open, laying a hand over Ganji’s hair to mess it up. They treaded inside quickly, the batter shutting the door and locking it before Cricket could sneak out. He lifted the cat and set her on the counter.
"Excited to get out of this place?" the forward teased. After he dropped all his stuff and kicked his shoes off, he returned to Ganji and the small cat, scratching her fur.
"Definitely. Where’s Cricket going?"
"With me."
"Is she staying with your family permanently?"
"Honestly? I don’t want her to. I just want to keep her with me wherever I go. I thought it’d be a good idea, but I don’t know if I can trust them to take care of her." he patted her back twice. "They’re probably gonna overfeed her and make her chunky."
Cricket meowed in protest, turning in a circle to face William in the eye.
"I was jokin’, baby."
"How dare you say that in front of her." Ganji grinned. "By the way, were you.. still planning on coming over for Christmas?"
"Yeah."
"Did you see the address I sent you?"
"Mmh.." William opened his phone, scrolling through his various contacts. He studied the text on the screen for about four seconds. "I got it."
"Okay. Are you done packing, too?"
"Pretty much. Are you?"
"Almost."
"I can help."
"You don’t want to shower first?"
"I can always do that later. I’ll help you first."
".. That’d.. be fine by me."
William and Ganji organized his belongings, trying to jam in every important thing he could remember. It took about twenty or so minutes to finish, so they moved on to disposing leftovers in the fridge and preparing to leave the dorm. It didn’t take long before the batter was getting tired and promised his friend he would lie down for a minute. By the time William emptied most of the fridge, Ganji was dead asleep, hiding his face in his pillow.
The forward stood over his friend, casting a shadow over his body. It spooked him when Ganji moved, but he only readjusted his sleeping position to get comfortable. William listened to his breathing to confirm he was truly asleep.
Nora took the opportunity to kiss him back at the rink. He was skeptical of her, especially with the fact she was friends with the last girl who screwed Ganji over last time. How could he trust this wasn’t another ploy to make a fool out of his best friend? Ever since he saw his vulnerability, he wished nothing like that would happen again.
William knew he didn’t have any right to feel this way. He dated Maeve when he liked Ganji longer, going back to middle school. He ignored him for the sake of his girlfriend. Now his choices had their consequences, and Ganji happened to be the guy who was forced to deal with them. William liked Maeve— and Ganji. He liked them both. He couldn’t choose. There was no way to sacrifice one for the other, right?
But seeing him lay in front of him now— how could he possibly look so desirable?
One more wouldn’t hurt.
William bowed his head down over Ganji’s lips, saying a quiet apology.
The morning they were heading their separate ways, the two athletes did a last-minute check to make sure their dorm was ready. Ganji held Cricket and fed her a small tube of purée while William was removing anything that showed there was an animal in the room. After unplugging everything, they were good to go. He handed off the cat to her owner and she was slipped inside a black cat carrier, close enough to pass as a duffel bag.
They took their things and left, shutting the door. Ganji stared at the number on it and lifted his head to gaze towards William.
"I wonder where I would’ve been if I never agreed to move in with you."
"I knew you would cave in. Even if you disagreed, I would’ve tried until you said yes." William put his arm over his shoulder, tilting his head at him. Cricket popped her head out of the carrier before immediately being covered by him.
"Only because of your cat. Thank her for being so cute."
"Made you feel bad about saying no, didn’t it?"
"I’m here now."
"Ready to go?"
"I can’t wait." Ganji gave him a tight-lipped smile. William’s arm squeezed around his neck until he smiled harder, showing his teeth. He wanted to enjoy this short moment of peace while he could- now that Christmas was coming up, he didn’t have time to stay mad at the forward. Ganji was starting to think that he spent too much time being pessimistic, and it was a good time to change. There were things to be happy about.
Like seeing his family again.
The drive took quite some time, but once he pulled up into that familiar driveway of the one-story house, he pushed his car door open as rough as he could. Ganji didn’t even open his trunk to take his luggage out; he sprinted to the door, punching the doorbell while jumping impatiently. He waited with anticipation, preparing to dive at whoever dared to answer it.
The lock clicked, and a middle-aged woman opened it slowly. She stared at the visitor at first. The lady screamed out loud, recognizing her son before he could process his emotions. She broke down into tears when he threw himself into her arms, trapping her in a bear hug, trying not to fall onto his knees. His mom grabbed fistfuls of the back of his hoodie.
"Mama—"
"Ganji.. Ganji, oh, my son.. my beautiful son," she smiled, and he could see through the overflowing tears in her eyes a look of appreciation. "You’ve grown so much. You’re getting so old. Look how big you are."
She held Ganji’s face in her hands. Ganji hiccuped, lowering his head and drying his eyes with his sleeve. He hugged her again, caught up in his whirlwind of emotions to notice the shuffling of feet down the hallway.
"He’s back! He’s back!" a little girl shouted with her hands in the air. A younger boy followed her, trying to keep up. Ganji’s heart almost exploded when he saw the kids.
"Anika- Arya!"
His mom moved away before the kids could slam into her. Ganji rushed inside the house with open arms before he was suddenly tackled by the force of two small children crashing into him. He hit the floor and threw his head back in playful laughter- Arya hugged his neck and tried biting at his cheek affectionately, whereas Anika held Ganji’s hand and touched his scars sweetly.
"Are you on break? How long are you staying with us for? Are you gonna stay here forever? Did you have a lot of tests? Mama said you had a lot of tests," his younger sister shook his hand vigorously. "Did you bring us anyth-"
"Slow down, sweetie. Let him get up." Ganji’s mom pried the two kids off of him.
"It’s okay, Mama," Ganji sat up, dusting off his pants. "I will get you guys something for Christmas, so just wait."
"Was school fun? Are you happy to be here now?" Arya butted into the conversation, grabbing Ganji’s face and forcibly turning his head.
"You don’t look tiny anymore!" Ganji scooped up the little boy into his arms, rising up to his feet. "Yes, it was fun. I’ll tell you guys about it, alright?"
"Promise?"
"Yes. I promise. I’ll tell you everything."
Cricket meowed sleepily when William parked outside of his parents’ house, leaving the warm car and entering the cold air. He hauled out all his belongings and dragged his stuff up the steps, leaving them on the porch. William wandered towards the living room window, where his mother was sitting with her back facing him. He tapped the window twice, smiling.
His dad, sitting on the couch with his mom, spotted him first; he widened his eyes and burst out into a loud cackle, clapping his hands. William tried to hold back his laughter when she looked around in confusion, turning to be jumpscared by her son. She shrieked from surprise and jumped off the couch, rushing to the door.
His mom threw it open right as William ran to hug her. The forward adjusted Cricket’s carrier so she couldn’t get injured before embracing both of his parents.
"What took you so long? I almost thought you forgot about us!" his mom laughed, holding a hand over the back of his locs.
"I was busy with rugby. I’m sorry."
"Didn’t you say you had a girlfriend? Where’s she at?" his dad chimed in, scanning William suspiciously.
"Uh- she’s visiting her parents right now. But I can bring her over for New Year’s Eve."
"Why not Christmas?"
"She has a big gathering with her whole family. It’ll be almost all day."
"That’s fine, then," his mom rubbed his arm comfortingly. "I can’t wait to meet her."
Cricket meowed from the cat carrier, sticking her head out of the bag. Both of his parents flinched until they saw her adorable, beady eyes.
"Oh my goodness! Is this the cat you said you rescued a while ago?" the woman cooed, reaching her hand out to let Cricket sniff her. She licked her fingers approvingly.
"Yeah. I hope you guys don’t mind that I brought her."
"No, we’re glad. Come in, it’s cold. Tell us about Oletus- you were gone for so long."
"I’d be happy to. I missed you both."
Ganji spent the whole week before Christmas taking his siblings out and spending time with his mother. They went to various places, including an arcade, a frozen yogurt place, and a boba tea shop. When he had time during the week, he secretly snuck out to buy gifts for his family and for William.
The two athletes didn’t talk much during their break. Ganji would send photos of his siblings or the neighborhood after it snowed, and William would exchange some of him cuddling with Cricket or wherever he was with his family. There was no real conversation exchanged.
On the night of Christmas Eve, William spent it with his family since he would be with Maeve tomorrow. He got gifts for his parents, so he let them open theirs first. His mom received a designer bag and a giftcard for a spa day (she nearly suffocated William from how overjoyed she was), while his dad got long socks with his son’s face on them and his dream shoes. William was showered with lots of new clothes and athletic gear for his next season. Even though being an only child felt lonely, Christmas was nice because he had everything to himself.
Ganji had to keep his siblings away from the Christmas tree because they were begging him to see what he got for them. They were stressing his poor mom, so he was left with no choice than to haul them to bed. Ganji grabbed his brother, who was crawling towards his present, and held him tightly in his left arm. He stopped his sister from searching the presents for her name by picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder with an exhausted groan.
"No! We don’t want to go to bed!" Anika whined, kicking her feet. Arya hugged Ganji, clinging to his shirt.
"Don’t you want Santa to come?"
"I do.."
"If you open your gift when you’re not supposed to, he’s gonna get mad and turn it into coal." Ganji spoke in a singsong voice.
"What!?" Arya shot up, frightened.
"And my best friend William won’t ever show up, and you guys will never meet him. You’ll neeever get to go to cool places with us."
"We want to meet him!" the younger kids protested.
"Then you’ll both go to bed."
"Okay.."
The batter opened the door to his little sister’s room, laying her down in the small bed. He tucked her in and brushed his hand over her head, turning on her butterfly lamp before leaving. His little brother was returned to his mother to be put to sleep.
Afterwards, he could finally go to bed in peace. Ganji was thrilled about Christmas, knowing William would be able to meet his family. His mom would thank him for changing his life for the better. It’d be a day where he could spend time with the people he cared about most.
On the day of Christmas, Ganji was startled by his siblings kicking his door open and jumping onto his bed to wake him up. He jolted awake, gasping for air while trying to process what was happening.
"It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!" Arya jumped up and down.
"Can we see what we got? Please!" Anika shook his shoulders wildly, making him dizzy.
"You guys are so energetic.. is Mama up?"
"Yes!" his brother put his hands up.
"Okay.. go brush your teeth and wash your face, you guys smell bad," Ganji smiled.
Once everyone freshened up, Ganji went into the kitchen to make tea for his mom. His siblings were waiting in the living room, and he could tell they could barely hold back from trying to open the gifts. Walking over to the couch, he offered his mom the cup of tea before sitting down near the tree. Sorting through the presents, he handed out each person’s thing before he let them open it.
"It’s a big box— what’s in here!?" Anika shredded up the paper. She held up a large dollhouse, eyeing it up and down in disbelief. The little girl began screaming and running around the house, dropping the toy to jump into Ganji’s arms.
"I wanna see mine!" Arya struggled to rip his box up. The batter let go of his sister to help open the gifts, allowing the younger to pull out the toy itself. His brother’s fingers brushed over a bright marble run set.
As his siblings celebrated and opened the rest of their gifts, Ganji sat with his mother to watch her open her own. Gently opening the box, she beamed upon seeing a gold jewelry set. The style was reminiscent of the jewelry back in their home country, and it overwhelmed her with joy. She kissed Ganji on the cheek and gave him a hug.
"Thank you."
"You deserve it, Mama."
"You are such a hardworking boy. Even after everything you’ve been through, you’re still smiling, and it makes me feel happy," she cast a sorry glance at the fireplace. It was dark and dull. She never lit it ever since the Queen’s Guard incident, when Ganji first had a shutdown after seeing the flames. Events like that made her regret moving to Britain.
Ganji saw how melancholic her eyes were when she looked at it. He understood, and he felt guilty that she ever saw him like that.
"Of course I am. I can’t disappoint you. Or Baba— I.. wish he stayed," Ganji shifted on the couch, laying his head on her lap. "Or I wish we could move back to India with him."
She put her tea on a nearby table, smoothing his hair down.
"The last time I called him, he asked if you were still out there winning games for us."
"I always win."
"Just like him." His mom patted his shoulder. "I know Britain is strangely different from home. But he believed it would give us a better life. I miss India too, Ganji."
Ganji didn’t want to complain, but he couldn’t name anything he was particularly grateful for here. India was where he belonged. Nothing in this new world could make him believe there was anything better than—
"Did you say your friend was coming over today?" his mom reminded him.
William!
"Oh- uh.. uhm.. wait here, Mama."
The batter shifted, lifting his head from her lap. He fixed his hair, eyes flickering around the couch as he searched for his phone. Moving a pillow out of the way, he grabbed the device, leaving to go to his room. He dialed William’s number, closing the door behind him. There was an answer after the first ring.
" Ganji!"
"William.." Ganji leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, holding the phone to his ear with both hands. He missed his voice so bad. He really missed him — he hadn’t realized it then, but being apart from him for so long always left him fervently waiting for his arrival.
" What’s up?"
"What’s up? Are you coming today?"
" Oh. Uh- about that.. "
Ganji opened his eyes. He dropped his smile. His fingers were close to hanging up the call entirely, but he waited to hear what he had to say.
" I’m spending Christmas with Maeve’s family."
"You.. are."
Ganji’s tone made it sound like a statement, rather than a question. William frowned at the silence on the other end of the phone. He could feel the disappointment radiating through the screen.
"I know I told you I would, and I’m really sorry, but she wanted me to be here, and I couldn’t say no to her."
"I told you. You didn’t have to come."
" Ganji, please, you understand, right? "
"I’m trying to. I wouldn’t be pissed about you bailing if you told me in advance, but on the day of? Are you serious, William?"
" I’m really sorry. "
"So all that flattery was just to make me feel better?"
" What? No! No, I was being honest, you’re still—"
"Don’t you ever know when to stop?" Ganji shouted. He covered his mouth, worried he would scare his family.
They both froze. William didn’t say a word.
"You’re the reason why.. I hate myself."
" What did I do?"
"What didn’t you do? You took advantage of me when I was drunk. You only care to talk to me when no one else can distract you. You’d choose anyone else over me," Ganji locked his door when he heard footsteps approaching. "You do things to make me stay, but you never stick around long enough."
" I’m different now, I- I promise, Ganji. Please.. listen— I care about you so much. "
"Go ahead and do what you’re best at. Telling people what they wanna hear. It won’t work on me anymore. I’m tired of your fuc— stupid games, alright?"
" But I meant everything I said. Everything I told you, I was honest! "
"Like hell you were! I should’ve known. You’re the same as everybody else. I," he leaned forward, whispering so his siblings wouldn’t have to hear, "fucking hate you."
"I can come next year. There’s always next year!"
"I won’t be around next year!"
Ganji hung up on him, throwing his phone onto his bed. He wanted to punch a hole in his wall. Clenching his fists until his veins were showing, he kicked over his chair, sinking to the ground when it landed with a loud thud.
"Ganji! Are you okay?" Arya knocked on the door. The door knob twisted a couple times, but nothing happened since it was locked.
"I’m fine. Don’t worry. Your big brother’s just fine." He got off the floor and picked up the chair. Opening the door, Arya tilted his head up at him with big eyes. Ganji knelt down and hugged him.
"Is your best friend coming to see us?"
"No, not today."
"But I made him a bracelet!" Anika ran down the hallway, holding up a plastic bead bracelet with the forward’s name spelled out. Ganji stifled a cry.
"That’s very sweet, Nini. I can take it and give it to him later."
She handed the bracelet off to him. He wondered if it could even fit around William’s wrist- but he didn’t care. Patting his siblings’ heads, he returned to the living room, removing his friend’s present from the tree. Ganji stopped to stare at the snow outside.
"Is he coming?" his mom sat up.
"No, Mama."
"Oh. That’s okay. There’s next time, right? I hope I get to meet him someday."
"You’d be proud of him."
Ganji trudged to his room, Anika and Arya already gone as they ran off to play with their new gifts. He read the name on the tag attached to the present, miserably running his hand over it. In a flash of anger, he tore it off, ripping part of the wrapping with it. It crumpled in his hands before he discarded it. Ganji slid the bracelet under the wrapping and kicked the box underneath his bed.
He was too exhausted to leave his room. The batter left about once or twice to eat and use the bathroom, but he locked himself up in there for the rest of the day. It was rare of Ganji to ignore his mom when she tried to check up on him, but the call with William left him numb.
As night fell, his siblings knocked and sat outside his door until he let them come in. They could feel his sadness, and they gave him the affection he needed at that moment. Ganji laid in his bed with both kids in his arms, counting until he fell asleep too. His mother came in from the open door and kissed them all goodnight.
For William, the minute those words left Ganji’s mouth, he was in shock. He was standing outside of Maeve’s house in the cold, staring at the phone like it was the problem. What did he mean by “not being around next year”? There were so many different ways to interpret that, all of which sounded like horrible things.
William called his number again. After two rings, someone picked up.
"Ganji? Ganji! I’m sorry! Please—"
" Are you my big brother’s best friend? " someone whispered into the speaker.
William was stupefied by the voice of a little boy. He thought he called the wrong number for a minute, until he heard what he said.
"I.. I am. Where’s your brother, little guy?"
" My brother went to that room. He’s sad. Mama will cry if she sees him sad, " the child sniffled. A young girl in the background was incoherent, until it sounded like the phone was handed off to her.
" Are you William? "
"Yes."
" Why can’t you come? Ganji wants you t- oh, oh no, is he coming back? Okay. "
"Wait. Wait, let me speak to him—!"
The call ended before he could ask them to hear him out. William’s arm went limp as it fell to his side. Snowflakes collected on his locs and fell on his face when he contemplated his car not too far away.
Always asking him to stay, but never sticking around. That was what Ganji thought of him, huh?
It was four in the morning, the day after Christmas. Ganji was groggy from being kicked by his siblings all night. With whatever energy he had, he carried them both to their rooms, slowly stepping back into the solitude of his own. The batter collapsed into his bed, holding a hand over his head.
A sudden tap at his window made him shoot awake, holding his breath.
Did he hear something? He couldn’t be having hallucinations.
Ganji rubbed his hands over his face, believing it was merely an animal. He laid back down, throwing the blankets over his body.
There was another tap, followed by two more. It sounded more restless.
Ganji knew something was wrong. Slowly rising out of his bed, he stared at the curtains, panicking about what was hiding behind them. The cricketer reached for his old bat next to his closet, taking cautious steps towards the window.
He opened the curtain slowly, narrowing his eyes.
There was a person outside. Either way, it was enough to make Ganji’s heart stop. He gasped and lost his breath— his fingers automatically released the bat, but he caught it before it could make any noise. Forcing his hand over his mouth, Ganji’s body shuddered when he stared at the floor, avoiding eye contact with the figure on the other side of his window. He felt nauseous. There was a pit in his stomach that he couldn’t rip away from his mind.
The batter reached for his phone. He opened his contacts and called someone. Unsurprisingly, they answered pretty fast.
".. what are you doing here?"
" You.. said you needed me. "
"I never needed you. Now go away ."
" You wanted me to come, didn’t you? "
"Not anymore." Ganji sat down on his bed, back towards the window so they wouldn’t see his face. He pressed the tip of the bat to the ground. "Why can’t you ever leave me alone?"
" I told you I could never ignore someone that needs me. Can you let me in? It’s cold out here. " William crouched, so his head was visible above the windowsill. Ganji side-eyed him as he observed his clothes. He was wearing a heavy coat, a hoodie, and a beanie, all with a large backpack.
"I hope you freeze to death."
" Let’s talk. Please, calm down and hear me out, Gupta. "
"I don’t want to let you in. You’ll get snow all over the floor. Get out, William."
" I’m not leaving this time. I’m sticking around. I’m gonna give you the apology you deserve, ‘kay? "
"An apology without change is manipulation."
Ganji heard William exhale out loud.
" Are you able to open the window, though? "
"It opens."
" Look at me. "
"Why?"
" I wanna see your face. "
"Nothing changed." Ganji ended the call and lowered the phone, standing up as slow as he could. He stretched his arms behind his back before finally glaring at the forward. It irked him when William started smiling, how his shoulders visibly dropped and eased themselves after laying eyes on the batter.
Reluctantly, he stepped towards the windowsill and unlocked it, pushing it open. William didn’t climb in immediately; he brushed the snow off of his clothes before taking his shoes off and stepping inside one foot at a time. Ducking his head below the window, he towered just a few inches over him, looking up and down Ganji’s face.
"I feel like I haven’t seen you in years." William raised his hand, reaching for his shoulder. Ganji cut him off by grabbing his wrist, throwing it aside.
"Cold."
The batter went to shut the window, remembering to lock the door too.
"Be quiet, okay?" Ganji muttered.
William disregarded the harsh warning from him, taking off his layers. He set his coat down over the vacant chair in his room, resting his backpack there as well.
"Whatever you’re here to say, you better make it count. I don’t want to see you again." Ganji sat down on the edge of his bed. His leg was bouncing tirelessly, whether it was from the gust of cold air that entered his room or from the nerves he couldn’t shake off. William paced in front of him.
"Ganji.. I don’t want to lose you."
"Oh?" Ganji snorts. "I’m surprised that’s what you wanted to say first. Not even a sorry, or an explanation for showing up to my house unannounced at—" he stared at the clock, "4 AM?”
"Okay. Okay, I’m sorry."
The batter leaned back in his bed, planting his palms down. He shook his head.
"I’m sorry for taking advantage of you, and lying to you." William scratched the back of his neck. "But I really planned on visiting you over break."
"If you’re here just to tell me a bunch of excuses, you can get the fuck out of my room."
"No! Listen, please. Okay. I know the thing about bailing on Christmas was my fault— Maeve asked me when I was driving home after we left the dorm."
"And you didn’t tell me?"
"I forgot ! It slipped out of my head, I was so caught up with my parents-"
"You’re ridiculous. William, you had the whole week to tell me! You only remembered after I called you? Oh, I’m gonna kill you—" Ganji got on his feet. William rushed forward to force him back down onto the mattress, making him sit still.
"Can you give me a minute?" the forward backed away.
"Hurry up."
"I’m so fucking sorry for what I did that night. I know you were drunk. But you were being loud, and I couldn’t get you to listen to me- I didn’t know what to do. I had no bad intentions, please, you gotta listen- the most important thing at that moment was taking care of you."
"What if I didn’t want that? I couldn’t think straight at the time!"
"What would you have done? I panicked. I didn’t have any other choice! I couldn’t sedate you and make you go to sleep."
Ganji tapped his finger on his knee. If he was in that situation, he might’ve done the same thing. He sneered at William.
"Exactly," the forward took a deep breath. "Ganji, seriously, you wouldn’t shut up about how much you hated yourself, and how nothing ever went good for you. I thought— I thought I could’ve showed you I cared.. somehow."
"Why do you think I felt that way to begin with? You and everyone else, nobody would notice if I spontaneously disappeared."
"I would! I don’t ignore you on purpose. I can hardly read your emotions because you never tell me how you feel. I thought you’d be mad if I bugged you too much, so I tried to give you space."
"You left me alone at times where I needed you the most."
"You don’t talk to me, Ganji. I would’ve been there as soon as you called."
"Would you even answer half the time? I always feel like someone you go to when there’s no one else around."
"I have you set as an emergency contact. You’re pinned on everything. I set a specific sound for every message you send me so I know it’s you." William gave Ganji his phone, letting him look through as proof. He didn’t even try to search to see if he was being genuine; the batter trusted that there’d be no reason to lie about details like that.
"I’m 'friends' with a lot of people. I try to make everyone happy, so I go out if they want me to. But at the end of the day, they’re not really close to me at all— there’s nothing memorable about the time I spend with people who only know my name."
"What’s the difference with me?"
William paused. He closed his eyes and let out a small huff of amusement, sitting down next to Ganji. The batter scooted away to leave a small gap between them, still irritated.
"You care enough to get to know me."
"Only because you did the same for me." Ganji combed his hair back with his hand. "You forced me to go out with you and be your friend. I might’ve hated you then for it, but it was the first time someone willingly accepted me."
"I’ve seen you since the day you transferred."
"Still, why have you always chosen someone else over me?"
"I try my best to balance it out. I’m sorry if it seems like I make you seem less of a priority- it’s not true at all."
"Not until it comes to her," he mumbled.
"Maeve?"
Ganji looked away.
"Hey," William leaned near him, "you’re my best friend. That’s a separate title only you have. I’ll come back for you everytime. All the things in my life, it always goes back to you. You motivate me to do anything."
"Are you doing it again? Telling me what I wanna hear?"
"What did I name my cat after?"
The batter grabbed a nearby plush and weakly chucked it at him. It bounced off William’s face and fell into his hand. A tiny, round lamb toy smiled back at him, and he held it close to Ganji’s face.
" You named your cat after the best sport ever, William, " the forward whispered in a squeaky voice, pretending the lamb was talking in Ganji’s ear. " Cricket is awesome, and so is Ganji Gupta, the greatest batsman in the world. "
Shockingly, it earned a warm laugh from his friend. Ganji was obviously trying to bite back his smile, but it slipped out, and he threw his head back while gasping soundlessly. He snatched the lamb out of William’s hand, sliding it under his pillow.
"I know it’s selfish for me to be jealous of her, but you’re all that I have. You’re my only friend."
"What about Nora?"
"We’re.. William, that’s different. She talks to me because she’s interested in me."
"I’m interested in you, too. I think you’re pretty weird," he flicked his friend’s forehead, followed by him wincing in pain.
" Romantically , dumbass. But.. back then, I was scared of you replacing me, and I thought I needed to talk to more people so I wouldn’t feel isolated again. So I talked to Evelyn, and then.. I ended up here with Nora."
"Is she a distraction?"
"I.. I mean, kinda. I don’t like to call it that, but I accepted it because she likes me. I also believed it’d help me move on from.. you know." Ganji toyed with the cricket bat, eventually moving it to the side.
"I know." William blushed.
"But whenever I try spending time with her, you suddenly start acting like— like an insecure girlfriend."
"You still remember that?"
"Yeah. But it’s not really a joke anymore. Whenever I’m with her or talking to her, you look at me like I just spat on your face and told you to fuck off."
"Okay, maybe I like it better when we spend time together, because that’s kinda our thing."
"William Ellis admits he’s jealous when he sees me with girls." Ganji smirked.
"So what!? I have a reason to be concerned. What if you find someone cooler than me and you leave me?"
"I think the same thing every day."
"Have you found someone cooler than me?"
"No. Have you?"
"Nope."
"Then.. maybe we don’t have anything to worry about."
William nodded in agreement. He put his hands on his knees as he got off the bed, and Ganji stood up with him. The batter was positioned in front of the forward with the window behind him; the sun was rising, and as it seeped in through the glass, it cast a serene light over him.
"I’m not good at this stuff. I know words won’t be enough to repair our friendship. But I can’t live a life where you’re not in it. Let’s try again, so I can make it right." William extended his hand out. "I hope you can forgive me. Ganji."
His voice quivered saying his name. Ganji inspected him for a long time, letting the words sink in.
Grudges only hurt the people who choose to drag them out, his father advised him at a young age. He had been wronged so many times in his life, the grudges he held against the world weighed him down. But if he could get rid of one less problem, perhaps it’d be enough.
Ganji threw himself against William. The force made him sway, stepping backwards and nearly tripping. His sweatshirt was freezing cold, but he clutched onto him as tightly as he could, drawing his arms down his back. The batter hugged him, touching his jaw to the other’s shoulder.
If he let go, he was terrified that he’d really drift for sure. Ganji stood up higher on his feet, pulling William towards him.
"You gave me a chance. I should return the favor," he spoke in slurred, indistinct words, "I’m sorry for what I said. You’re one of the only people I care about. I’ve been trying to get better."
"I don’t blame you." William grabbed him just as hard. He wrapped his arms over his shoulders, nestling his chin in the opening between his neck and his collarbone.
"You smell so good," Ganji laughed. "Is this the same cologne you wore back then?"
"I was hoping you’d notice. I don’t wear this one a lot. Do you want it?"
"N-no, I couldn’t possibly—"
"I’ll throw it in with your Christmas present." William backed out of the hug and held his shoulders, grinning like a child. "I don’t mind, I promise."
He yawned, angling his head away from his friend. Ganji fixed the collar of his sweatshirt, hanging on to his sleeve.
"Are you leaving?"
"I was going to sit out in my car until morning. Didn’t want you to be bothered by me or anything."
"Sleep here. I’ll tell you when you need to go."
"Is that really okay?"
"Of course it is," Ganji opened the window, bending over to reach the abandoned shoes laying on top of the snow. He hit them a couple times to shake off any excess water before setting them inside and shutting the window.
"Where do I sleep?"
".. the bed?"
"You?"
"There’s room."
Ganji pulled the blankets back. He got on his bed first, sliding closer to the wall. William took his sweatshirt off and tossed it to the foot of the bed as he sat on the edge. The batter slid his pillow over to him.
"You can take it."
"You’re gonna be uncomfortable."
"Not really." Ganji slid his arm under his head, laying down on his side. "Being a little uncomfortable is fine with me. You came here so early in the morning to apologize to me. I’m.. wow. Didn’t think you had the guts to do that."
"It’s nothing when it comes to you."
"It means everything to me."
William laid down on the pillow with his hands behind his head. The bed creaked faintly under his weight, and he studied the various cricket posters plastered around the room. Photographs of his family in India were taped to the wall.
"I like your room."
"Thanks."
William pointed to a picture of Ganji when he was young. He was standing with a group of kids his age, laughing and clearly not looking at the camera. They were all wearing red and white cricket uniforms. The forward pointed at it.
"When was that?"
"Maybe when I was.. five, six, I don’t know. Back in India. My dad encouraged me to take cricket classes. That was when I started liking it."
"And look where you are now. Ganji Gupta."
"In the flesh," Ganji laughed at his own joke, referencing William yet again. Something about how they could remember the smallest details of their interactions was adorable.
"You spend too much time around me."
"Not enough, actually."
The taller stopped to look at him. He hummed in quiet agreement.
"You moved to Britain in middle school, right?"
"I did."
"If it’s alright for me to ask.. why did you leave India?"
"Mainly because.. uhm.. I forgot what it’s called. Economic opportunity, I think?"
"Yeah."
"India is big. There’s too many people. Also my mother’s concern for health- she wanted us to live somewhere good, promise us a future. I know my parents came to Britain to give us a better life but," Ganji curled up, lowering his voice, "I hate it here."
They held eye contact for a few seconds. Not a single breath was taken- the sound of a distant train passing by filled the silence for them. William swallowed, rolling onto his side to face Ganji. His eyes were somber, mourning for his friend.
"I’m sorry." He held his hand out. The cricketer didn’t hesitate to grab it, touching their palms together, slipping his fingers through the gaps of the other man’s.
"I miss home.”
"Do you ever think about moving back to India?" William couldn’t guess his next move; Ganji pressed his hand to his mouth, gazing straight at him drowsily.
"I don’t know if I tell you this enough. But you’re the reason I want to stay. Of course I think about moving back all the time— but then I remember you’re here."
Ganji moved his hand away from his mouth. The second William’s eyes immediately went down to his lips, he knew he fucked up. He couldn’t ignore the scar there, the indent he felt before and was fucking crazy about. He stared at his eyes, getting distracted by the marks on his nose. His chest felt heavy knowing that somewhere, William still liked him a lot, and perhaps there was a chance Ganji did too. But it’d be taking advantage of him again to give in.
He smiled instead, letting go of his hand. The curly-haired man batted his eyes down at the emptiness in his palm.
"Always with you," William patted his arm. "I think we should probably sleep."
"Yeah."
"Goodnight, Ganji."
"Goodnight, William."
William waited for him to turn his back, since he typically hated sleeping facing him. Ganji closed his eyes and stayed right where he was. In the moment, he trusted him enough to let him see him. Between them, Ganji saw the forward as a safe place and didn’t mind opening up a little more. He wouldn’t ever do this with anyone else.
William felt reassured that everything was resolved, so he went to sleep.
Ganji opened his eyes when he could tell he was really dozing off. It hurt to see the person he wanted for so long sleep in front of him so peacefully, as if he accepted that they were going to stay friends. He didn’t want that anymore. Despite rejecting him first, out of nowhere, he started caring.
His eyes wandered to the photograph of him and his cricket team in India. Looking back down at William, he familiarized himself with his face. Something about the two felt scarily similar. Ganji trailed his finger along the spot where the forward’s wrist creased, pressing down gently to feel his heartbeat. He was real— he was with him. They were together.
Even though he felt loved in India, he wanted to stay in Britain because he was cared about by someone. William kept him here. He always reminded him how great he was; nobody else could make Ganji feel the same. Ganji genuinely couldn’t replace him, even if he tried.
Only because he always knew where home was.
Chapter 9: Kindle
Summary:
William spends quality time with Ganji’s family, spending a night at his house. The forward later invites him to come over for a New Year’s celebration, which wasn’t too special.
Notes:
This whole chapter is useless and self indulgent this is the last happy chapter you guys are getting before I ruin their lives /hj
Chapter Text
They slept in much later than they hoped to. Ganji barely got enough rest because of his siblings and William sneaking into his room, and the forward spent most of the night rehearsing what to say to his friend. They felt cozy enough to catch up on missed sleep until it was nearing the afternoon.
A clanking from his doorknob made Ganji open his eyes. Immediately, he was overpowered by the disgusting morning taste in his mouth, trying to look around his room. He sat up to find William underneath him, both of their bodies somehow tangled together in a hug. Because he was resting so peacefully, Ganji left him alone instead of freaking out, despite how his temperature suddenly peaked when he felt William’s strong leg wrapped over him. He brushed a hand over the forward’s locs, turning his eyes to the door.
"Nnh.." he dragged a hand down his face, "who is it?"
"Ganji! Mama asked if you’re feeling better." his little brother tried opening the door. "Can I come into your room?"
"Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sleeping for a few more minutes, ‘kay?"
"Okay.." Arya walked away, going down the hall. Ganji let out a heavy exhale, outstretching his arms to lie down next to William again. He was gonna have to kick him out sooner or later. Rolling a few inches away, he was alarmed when his arms stopped him. The forward’s hands folded around his waist and his chest, dragging him back to where he was.
"Stay here, baby," William grumbled sleepily, touching his head against the crevice of his shoulder. Ganji’s heart dropped. Hearing that name again made him blank out, delaying his response.
Fuck.
"We slept in too much," the batter looked at his alarm clock. "You have to get up."
"What are you in a rush for, Maeve?"
Ganji pushed his hand down on the mattress to elevate himself and stare at William, baffled. How the hell do you make a mistake like that? It humbled him, nonetheless, so he pushed the forward off of him as he sat up.
"My name is Ganji."
"Huh?" William opened his eyes, slowly becoming conscious again. He gasped seeing his best friend next to him instead of his girlfriend. "Oh shit! I’m so sorry—"
Ganji sat criss-crossed with his hands on his thighs, furrowing his brows while looking mortified. Putting a hand over his forehead to avoid eye contact, William glanced at the door.
".. you should probably get out," the shorter mumbled pathetically.
"I wanted to stay with you today, though."
"Yeah, you can do that. But at least go through the front door! It’d be suspicious if you just appeared in my room."
"You’re gonna kick me out.. and leave me in the cold!" William rolled towards him, gripping Ganji’s shirt like he was on the brink of death. "When did you become so cruel?"
"It’s not cruel. Stop acting like an animal, William."
"Ganji ..!" the forward pretended to sob into his lap, clutching his friend’s arms. "Your bed is so warm, please.. give me a chance before you evict me from your house—"
"Get your ass up!"
"No, please—!"
Ganji climbed out of his bed, grabbing William’s locs to force him up. The taller winced and pleaded with him to let him stay longer.
"You’re not actually leaving! Did you forget? All you have to do is get out of here and walk to the front door, dummy," the batter let go of his hair, smacking him over the head. William whined like a dog.
"Will you open the door for me?"
".. I guess."
"Will you act surprised to see me?"
"Why am I acting?"
"Because it’s a surprise visit! You gotta pretend you didn’t know I was coming, so your siblings will be all excited," William stood taller, raising his shoulders before putting his hands on his hips. "and they’re gonna see how cool I am."
"My— my siblings? You want to put on a show for— w-wait, hang— hang on—" Ganji snorted, cracking up. He covered his mouth with his hand, looking away with a delighted look in his eyes.
"What? What’s funny about it?" the rugby player leaned over him. If Ganji looks at his face, he’ll laugh even harder— he hurriedly rotated his body away from him, but William put his hands on his shoulders to spin him back around, shaking him energetically.
"What’s funny? Come on, tell me why you’re smilin’ like that!"
"Nothing. Nothing, it just.. caught me so off guard."
"It’s a good idea, right? You’ll do it?"
"Fine. I will. Just don’t go so quick— I need to brush my teeth."
"Gotcha," William picked up his sweatshirt and his jacket, layering his clothes back on. He took his backpack and slipped it over his arm while stepping into his shoes. Once he had everything, he tapped the cold glass of the window. Ganji snuck past him to unlock it and push it open again. Chills ran down his back from his friend lingering behind him, along with the gust of wind that prickled on his arms.
"I guess this is goodbye," William reached a leg over the windowsill, straddling it.
"Not forever."
"You’ll be around next year?"
"Wherever you are, I’ll be here," Ganji stepped away from the cold window. His eyes followed up William’s body, from his shoes to the wonderful smile that played on his lips.
"Not sure where I’d be without you. Well," the forward traveled through the window, crunching into the snow outside. "I’ll see you in a few, Gupta."
"I’ll wait for you," he put his hands on the lift of the window, about to pull it down. "See you later."
"Wait."
Ganji paused.
"Act surprised to see me, okay? I want you to be super dramatic."
"That’s a little over the top."
"Pretend I’m like a husband coming back from war."
"Some husband you are. Convincing me you were dead and never coming home, but then showing up on my doorstep the next day."
"Not even death could keep me from seeing you, my beloved wife," William smiled playfully, bowing like a gentleman. The childish jokes made Ganji flustered, even if he masked it well. His eyes softened as he grinned back, biting the inside of his cheek nervously. How come hearing him say something stupid made him this jumpy?
"If it makes you happy, then I’ll do it for you."
"I appreciate it, Ganji."
"Now go. You’ll freeze to death before you even get to my door, William!" he pushed the window shut.
Bending down to be close to the glass, the forward exhaled on it, drawing a small heart with the condensation. He put his hand up to wave goodbye before disappearing from his sight. Ganji leaned his head out the window to watch him go, chest burning when he noticed William looked over his shoulder too. They were searching for each other.
The batter got out of his room and rushed through his morning routine, clattering around the bathroom, clumsily knocking over or dropping things in his hands. He knew William was outside, but he still felt as excited as a little kid on Christmas (even if it already passed). Calmly pacing down the hallway, he was attacked when his siblings left their toys to leech onto his legs.
"Ganji!" Anika laughed.
"You slept so much.. I was so bored.." his brother complained.
"I’m sorry, guys. I was really tired last night. But even if my friend can’t come, I still have my family here," he gazed towards his mom in the kitchen, who was studying her son’s tired eyes. She was still concerned about him, and she wouldn’t be able to drop it until she saw he was happy.
"Did something happen, Ganji?"
"No, Mama, it’s fine. I argued with him last night, but I was mad at the time. I’m over it now."
"Okay. Tell me if something’s wrong, please."
"I will."
"Ganji! Can you play with me? I want to try my new dollhouse," Anika pulled at his shirt, gently tugging him forward.
"Huh? Yeah, of course—"
The doorbell rang once. It echoed throughout the house, and everyone froze for a second. Ganji realized that was his cue to go answer it, and he pried the kids off of him, trying to stride over as casually as he could. His hands were shaking when he unlocked the door.
Staring up across the road, his eyes focused on William’s tall figure in front of him— the one thing he wasn’t expecting was the gift basket in his hands. The forward’s face was bright, and he glowed where he was standing. He nodded his head faintly to greet him.
Ganji didn’t move, holding the door open while his feet were glued to the ground. He swallowed to soothe his dry throat.
".. oh my god."
"What? What? Ganji, who is it?!" Arya scrambled to his feet, hopping to the door. Anika followed; the two children hid behind their older brother, admiring the stranger.
"Sorry for being a day late, but I’m here now. Merry Christmas— I hope you aren’t mad at me."
William thrust the gift basket into Ganji’s arms. He almost fell back on one of his siblings, but he stood straight, trying to observe all of the items in his gift. His shock was genuine, and he wasn’t acting anymore.
"William.. you.."
The cricketer slammed the gift basket on the closest flat surface he could find. Once his hands were free, he charged into the forward to go for a hug. He lost his breath when William happened to grab him first.
His head smashed against his shoulder, and William’s bicep crushed the side of his face. Ganji pulled his arms around him as hard as he could, laughing heartily at the way the other rocked side-to-side.
"I didn’t think you were coming anymore."
"Of course I’d show up, man. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I couldn’t see you as I promised."
"I can’t believe you went so far to get here. My brother and sister wanted to meet you really badly, you know."
"I’m looking forward to it. Your siblings are cute," he looked down at the kids hiding behind a coat rack, smiling kindly with a gentle wave. Ganji’s sister giggled and his brother ran away, rushing to hug his mom in embarrassment. Ganji watched over his shoulder.
"You’re so good at this— that was convincing," William teased. He ran his finger along the batter’s back, and it made him jolt a few times while hugging him tighter. Hiding his face in the side of Ganji’s neck to stifle his quiet snickering, William whispered, "Goddamn, you’re so warm."
"Stop acting suspicious," Ganji scolded, mouth twitching when he felt him mumble against his skin. William wouldn’t stop dragging his hands all over his back, and he was ticklish, he knew that— he couldn’t find an opportunity to shoo him away because of the shivers crawling down his spine. Ganji laid his hands on William’s wrists and pushed them down.
"Let me.. introduce you to my mom first, alright?"
"Does she know who I am?"
"Yeah."
"Ah.. so you do talk about me a lot."
"Get inside," Ganji ordered, ignoring the comment. William was content with the fact that he was important enough to be known by his friend’s family; it almost boosted his ego. He allowed the batter to pull him inside, away from the brutally freezing weather.
"Mama, this is William. He’s my roommate at Oletus." Ganji swayed when he felt a harsh jab at his ribs, looking down at William’s elbow touching him. The forward had an innocent twinkle in his eyes, urging him to add more. He narrowed his eyes, sighing deeply. "And.. my best friend."
"It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Gupta." William did a half-bow, half-nod.
"You are William Ellis, yes?" she asked politely.
"That would be me."
"You are very big. I can see why you play rugby. Ganji wrote about you in his letters, and he always talked about how gr—"
"Mama.." Ganji whispered, lowering his head bashfully. He turned away from the conversation, but William pulled a hand over his shoulder and spun him back around.
"I didn’t know he liked me that much. I’m very flattered," he smiled. Ganji’s mom stared at him warmly, and even the batter could tell she already liked William. His hand was still on his shoulder, patting him soothingly to help relax his nerves. The drumming felt nice, and it truly did help.
"How long have you been friends?" she asked.
"I was actually in his class in middle school— and we went to high school together— but we became friends a few months ago. I cornered him at practice and brought him with me to go out, and we’ve been like this since then."
"Yes, he was a quiet boy when he was younger," his mom sighed, peering over at her oldest child nostalgically. "I hope you two are taking good care of each other.”
"Ganji, come, come! Look at the marble track I made," Arya slipped in front of his brother, grabbing his hand. Ganji exhaled when it broke his train of thought, being pulled away from William. He followed his sibling like a puppy, heading down the hallway. William was left alone with his mom. She sighed solemnly, patting the empty spot next to her. He sank into the sofa, fidgeting with his hands.
"Ganji.. he doesn’t talk much, you see. He’s too quiet, humble, kind.. people want to take advantage of those with good, pure hearts," she mumbled, lowering her voice. The regret and guilt buried in her throat were evident through the cracks she made when she spoke. "Sometimes I get so worried, I feel sick at night. I can’t sleep because I wonder if he’s fine or not. I know he hates it here, especially because of the Queen’s Guard, but he swears that everyone hates him— I don’t think it’s true. He’s too sweet. He’s just meeting the wrong people."
"You did a great job raising him, miss." William leaned forward, nodding reassuringly. "I like him. He’s a cool guy, honest. I’ve been wanting to be friends with him for a long time because I genuinely admire him. Ganji is good at cricket, but I learned that he’s even more than just a talented batsman. He’s.. amazing."
"I didn’t want to let him get hurt by anyone. There’re too many bad people that can put him down," she dabbed at her eyes with her sweater. "I prayed he would meet a good person who could understand him. And I believe the gods sent you to him. You’re the type of person Ganji wants to be— I trust you can get along well."
Her words touched his heart. To be seen as a savior who could protect him from the evil nature of other people.. he didn’t mind that. He didn’t mind that at all. It was never a problem if it meant Ganji would be happy.
Ganji’s mom laid her hand over William’s softly.
"Promise me one thing. Please, be patient with him. He’s a good boy, but he doesn’t trust easily. For his comfort— and my own— show him that there are people who don’t want to hurt him. "
William’s fingers curled, and he gripped onto the fabric of his sweatpants. She spoke with so much love in her voice for her son. He couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain she would endure if Ganji tore himself apart.
"Of course. It’s what friends do. I wouldn’t sit back and let him suffer in silence."
"Thank you. And also— if you’d like the spend the night, you’re more than welcome to."
"That sounds nice. Mrs. Gupta?"
"Yes, dear?"
"I have a present for you."
William walked around the house, hoping to find Ganji again. The talk with his mother left him with a heavy heart. Even when he stumbled across the batter knelt down in his room, humorously waving a doll in his hand with his sister, his eyes never left his body. His voice was high and smooth, speaking in a friendly tone he’d never use for anyone at Oletus. On his dresser was the gift basket William brought, supposedly untouched since nothing was out of place.
Anika giggled when Ganji touched her head and patted her, catching William staring at them.
"William!"
"What?" Ganji turned, dropping the doll in a slight panic. The forward didn’t laugh at him. He smiled dolefully, for some reason. His pupils dilated for a split second after laying eyes on the man on the floor before he shut the door and sat with them.
"What’cha guys doin’?" he whistled at the impressive dollhouse.
"I was playing dolls with Ganji. Can you play with us?" she held a doll in his face. William smirked pridefully.
"I never thought you’d ask," he accepted the doll, combing her hair out with his fingers. Picking up Ganji’s fallen toy, he set it in his hand, closing the cricketer’s fingers around it. He kept his hand overlapping over his for about two seconds before letting go. The simplicity of the action fried Ganji’s brain, trying to understand his motive for the interaction.
"You gonna play with us?" William waved a hand in front of his face, snapping him out of a trance.
"Yes. I’m playing."
"Where’s your brother?"
Ganji nodded over to his bed, where a suspicious lump under the blanket rose and fell every few seconds.
"Playing with marbles is a very exhausting job."
"Poor guy. I call dibs on the big room in the dollhouse , by the way."
"That’s my room!" Ganji scoffed.
The three played for about an hour, endlessly entertaining each other. Ganji was amazed at how well William could get along with his sister. The taller man was equally as impressed to watch this childlike side of his friend when he wasn’t scowling all the damn time. Anika called for a break, allowing William to go fetch his backpack. He returned quickly and sat on the ground, barely able to contain his excitement.
"What’s in your bag, William?" Anika looked over his shoulder.
"It’s for you and your brother," he opened the bag, angling it away from her eyes. "Don’t look yet. Just put your hands out."
When she listened to his instructions, William laid a big plushie in her arms. Anika looked down at it and jumped happily at her new gift. Throwing her hands up, she hugged William as hard as she could. He found it amusing to see how similarly she and Ganji tried to squeeze his body every time.
"Thank you!"
"Of course."
"Ganji has the bestest friend ever! Mama! Mama! Look what William gave me!" his sister flung the door open and ran away, holding her plush up for the world to see.
"Arya’s still sleeping," Ganji got up, hovering over his brother. "I should put him in his room."
"I got him something."
"Yeah?" the batter grunted, picking up the little boy. He rested Arya’s chin on his shoulder, rubbing his back so he wouldn’t stir awake.
"It’s a little car set. Does he like cars?"
"Kid likes everything. Cars, marbles, dinosaurs, space.. those stupid science kits that sell ugly 'crystals', that stuff."
"I loved those as a kid."
"I only played with them once in my life. With him," Ganji smiled, letting out a quick exhale. He walked down the hallway, treading in the dark so turning the light on wouldn’t wake his sibling. "I haven’t played most of the games everyone already knows. Makes me feel stupid sometimes."
"You ever play UNO?" William trailed behind him, hands in his pockets. He was watching him with so much attentiveness. His eyes didn’t pull away to stare at the paintings on the walls or flowers around the house. They were dead set on Ganji.
"No."
"What!? You’ve never played UNO? You had to, at least once in your life!"
"You react the same way as everyone else. Stop rubbing it in my face, I know it’s strange." His smile softened before he dropped it completely. Biting the inside of his lip, the batter suddenly winced, feeling a tightness in his calf. He readjusted his grip on his brother.
"Did.. something happen?" The forward noticed him look like he was in pain, somewhat limping. He laid a hand on his arm to stop him.
"Nothing."
"Doesn’t look like nothing. Spit it out."
"My leg cramped.." Ganji rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "It’s fine. I can take him to his room."
"Sure you are. Give him to me so I can carry him— you should go to your room and sit."
"You don’t even know where his room is. I can do it myself." Ganji took a step forward, away from him.
"Then tell me so I know," William pulled him in by his shoulders, bringing him back. He loosened his fingers so he wouldn’t alarm the other. "I’ll do it. I want you to take care of yourself."
Ganji fixed his stance, pushing the sleeping child up higher so he would stop slipping. After some careful thought, he observed William’s arms, examining his face with hesitance.
"Fine. It’s the second door down." He walked closer to him. The forward bent down to take Arya out of his arms, and his hands held Ganji’s as the weight of the kid was shifted off of him. William carried him like he was entirely weightless.
Ganji stared at him after he moved away. Considering he played such a rough, aggressive sport, it made his mind buffer when he caught William handling certain things so deliberately. His brother looked so snug in the forward’s arms.. how lucky.
"I’ll meet you back in your room," William whispered softly.
"I might shower and get ready for bed. Aren’t you supposed to go home soon?"
"Your mom didn’t mind if I stayed the night."
Of course he talked to her, the cricketer clenched his fists. She probably told him how sad my life was, and that he’s the only person I like. That’s why he’s being nice— he feels bad.
"Well, I mind." Ganji furrowed his brows, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I get that we cleared things up already, but I still feel pissed off for some reason. I need you to go away."
The hallway was eerily quiet. William cradled Arya, resting a hand on his back. His eyes flickered across the floor awkwardly. It took about four seconds for Ganji to see his tone was too rash. He was afraid to speak, so there was nothing he could do, even if he wanted to shove the words down his throat and pretend he never said them out loud.
"That’s fine, I get it." William smiled.
"Huh?" Ganji parted his lips, raising his eyebrows— why did it hurt him instead, feeling defeated that William didn’t fight to pressure his feelings out of him? Did he.. not care?
"I’ll go after I put this kid down. Bet’cha need the rest anyway, so I’ll call it a night."
"Wait, where—"
"Thanks for having me. I’ll see you sometime. Maybe next year," he joked innocently. "Better go shower, man."
William walked off. Ganji’s feet trembled, itching to start following him.
No, he got what he wanted. He had William right here, looking at him, acknowledging him, seeing him, spending time with him; he felt that importance, the relief of being his best friend again. And all of a sudden, Ganji just tries kicking him out, terrified of the possibility that the forward was being kind out of pity. Seeing how he listened and didn’t even question it hurt, because Ganji recognizes that he proved himself wrong.
William cared. More than anyone else did.
Ganji felt like he’d be a coward by choosing to beg him to stay longer, especially after he asked him to leave. His heart was racing, head pounding with impulse; his lips quivered as William’s name was just on the tip of his tongue. With all his self-restraint, he walked in the opposite direction, back to his room.
While he was in the middle of grabbing his clothes, he jumped when his door opened out of nowhere. Ganji suspected his mom had come in. Without turning around, he continued searching for a pair of shorts.
"Mama, did you need something?"
"It’s me, actually."
Ganji craned his neck over his shoulder. William stepped past him, leaning down to grab his backpack. He laid the toy car set on the batter’s dresser, gazing at the large gift basket he bought for him. William blinked slowly and adoringly at it. His eyes redirected to Ganji when he slipped his backpack on, passing him and ruffling his hair.
"I’m off now. See ya, Gupta."
".. see you later."
William closed the door. Ganji laid the clothes down just to listen to his feet tap on the floor and indistinct murmurs with his mother. The creak of the front door finally came, and he assumed he was leaving by now. Ganji checked his phone, unlocking it to open his messages with William. One of the first things to appear was the last photo the forward sent of himself at the ice cream place with his parents.
Underneath the photo, it read:
( W: We should go here again— It feels too strange going without you. Everything’s nicer when we’re together, you know? )
Goddammit, he hated that William could always tell him the right things. He zoomed in on his friend’s face, absorbed in his gentle expression. William Webb Ellis— he was too good for him, and also the worst thing to happen to him.
Ganji threw his phone on the bed, scrambling onto his knees to get up and bolt out of his room.
Leaving the house was awful. William watched a cloud of smoke leave his mouth after one breath, ears numb from the horrifically cold weather. His fingers toyed with the keys in his pocket as he hummed a short song. Though he hoped Ganji would be happy to have him stay, William didn’t mind if he was tired as well.
As he was within 10 feet of his car, the violent pounding of feet heading his way worried him. He could hear heavy panting from behind. A split second of hope flashed across his face.
"William! William!" Ganji sprinted. He hopped over the mountains of snow, not even wearing a jacket to keep himself warm. Somehow, he miraculously maintained his balance.
William couldn’t say his name back before he crashed into him. The wind was knocked out of his lungs instantaneously— god, this guy could’ve played rugby instead. He grabbed Ganji’s arms to make sure he wouldn’t fall.
"Ganji? Why are you out here? It’s so fucking cold—!"
"I needed to ask you—"
"Oh, man, you coulda messaged me or something.. you’re about to freeze.." William unzipped his heavy coat, throwing it over Ganji. He held it together around his neck and slid the hood up, lowering his head to look at him. "Did I forget something? Is that why you followed me out?"
"You can stay the night."
"I know, but you said you—"
"I don’t fucking care what I said! I didn’t mean it. I lied. I want you here. Please."
"Ganji, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. If you really need time to yourself, then I’m fine with that. I’ll do whatever’s best for you. That’s why I’m always a call away."
"I know that! Do you think I just decided to run out in this weather to look like an idiot?" Ganji scowled. "I know that you’re a call away, but sometimes I need to tell you something when I’m right in your face. Come inside. Now."
"You’re always so demanding." William watched him with fondness. Ganji counted the number of snowflakes that littered his hair, and how his locs blew in the wind.
And fuck, how unreal this whole thing felt. Ganji began to hate the word "friends". He needed to be in his arms again or something, the contact that made his entire body shiver— everything they did together seemed too romantic , it couldn’t even be described as something friends did. Like right now, the way William was keeping the coat around him, staring deep into his eyes, made him squeamish.
".. will you listen, though?" Ganji muttered, the cold smoke leaving his mouth. They were so close together, William could’ve touched his forehead against his.
"Of course I will. I was hoping you’d change your mind. Let’s get you inside."
Ganji entered his room quietly after just washing up. William sat on his bed, playing with his cricket bat by balancing it upright in his palm. When he saw him at the door, his face lit up before setting the bat down.
"Hi." The batter waved.
"Hey."
The room was faintly dark, save for the moonlight from his window. Ganji had a small lamp on his desk that provided warm ambient lighting. Inside, the air felt cold on his skin, making goosebumps rise on his arms.
William rose up, hands in pockets as he wandered his way towards his friend. He studied his room curiously.
"Did you ever open my present?" he stopped in front of him.
"Not yet."
"Go look."
Ganji’s eyes averted to check the gift basket on his dresser. He followed it, picking it up and taking a seat on his bed. William lowered himself to the floor, at the batter’s feet. Ganji’s fingers trembled, and his leg started bouncing uneasily. Knowing William was sitting there, he felt a sudden pressure— he was worried that he couldn’t express his gratitude well, and it might hurt his feelings. His leg started bouncing more as he hesitated.
William laid his hand on Ganji’s thigh, scaring him for a moment. The bouncing stopped, but his leg was still tense. They made eye contact, and after an encouraging nod from the taller, he searched the gift basket.
He was bewildered by the level of detail. It was filled with athletic stuff— protein supplements, armbands, headbands, socks, hoodies, and a water bottle. Ganji picked up each item with wonder. There was a stuffed bunny wedged behind some candy, and he picked up the peculiar toy, grinning softly.
"A bunny?"
"Now your lamb’s got a best friend. Maybe they’ll be as close as we are," William stuck up two fingers in a "V" and held them to his forehead to mimic bunny ears. Ganji snickered at the gesture.
Ironically, most of the stuff he got was in his favorite colors. Whether it was a coincidence of a careful eye, he felt so elated. The material of the hoodies was to his liking, too. There was a small note in an envelope. Ganji picked it up, flipping it over to read his name in William’s handwriting. His words were typically a little messy, but it looked so carefully done. He looked at him, waiting for a signal.
"Go ahead."
William took a small glimpse of how Ganji’s hands tried to open the letter without ripping the envelope into shreds. He saw earlier how blissed he was to see his name on it. When Ganji pulled out a small "book", he paused.
"Why does it feel thick?"
"Open it, and you’ll see."
Ganji did as he instructed. Upon unfolding the "book", there was an arrow labeled "PULL ME". His fingers clutched it, and when he did so, the longest letter he’d seen in his life fell into his lap. He couldn’t figure out how many there were— about 10, he assumed— he was too stirred up to process it. There were photos of times they went out together, words in black ink passionately describing how much he adored him. Ganji was breathless— he let go of the arrow, gaping at the papers.
"William, oh my— oh my fucking god—" Ganji skimmed through one of the pages, unable to comprehend how he had the time and energy for this.
"Do you like it? I made it."
"It’s so long. How.. how?"
"You can read it in the morning. It’s a lot."
"I.. don’t even know what to say.." Ganji was still trying to read the long letter. The end of it piled at his feet. Eventually, he folded it back up and fitted it into the small book. "William.. you’re incredible."
William took the praise, raising his eyebrows and glancing away smugly.
"Thanks."
Ganji kicked his feet under his bed, bumping into a box. He forgot he left William’s gift there. Sliding off the bed, he got on the floor and reached under to find it.
"I got you a present, too."
"Really?"
"Yeah," he pushed the gift in front of the forward, sitting on his bed again.
William observed the tear in the wrapping, where a chunk of the paper was ripped out. Something was lumped under it. He tore it deliberately, finding a bright-colored bracelet hidden there. His name was spelled out on it.
"Did you make this?" he smiled, holding it up.
"My sister," the batter mumbled shyly. He was anxious about gift exchanges— he hoped what he got could even match what William had for him.
"It’s so cute. Let me see if.." William slipped his hand through it, cautious to not snap it. It somehow fit, wrapping around his large wrist. He shook it a few times for good measure.
"I didn’t even know she made that, but I guess my siblings like you as much as I do."
"You like me?"
"I do," Ganji admitted without thinking. "You’re nice."
William was giving him the eyes again. He softened his gaze and looked so overjoyed, scanning him up and down like he was taking in the sight. His hands tore at the paper neatly, avoiding scraps as it came off in one piece. William opened the box.
The first thing he spotted was a personalized rugby ball with his name on it. He picked it up experimentally, testing the weight and the grip. Beaming happily, he tossed it to Ganji, who caught it and threw it back.
"This is a good ball," William ran his thumb over his name. "And you got it customized for me?"
Ganji nodded. William looked farther into the box, filled with candy and socks— two other notable gifts were a fitness tracker and a shoebox, making him tilt his head inquisitively. After he fawned over the watch and slipped it on the same wrist as the bracelet, the forward lifted the lid to reveal the shoes, gasping.
"Ganji?"
"What?" his stomach dropped. He couldn’t tell if something was wrong, but it was his first thought when William said his name so suddenly.
"How the hell did you get your hands on these!?" William loudly whispered, inspecting the shoes to soak in their beauty. They were the perfect shade of green to match his clothes. He set them down in the box, still digging around.
"You mentioned it once.. and I just thought.. you’d want that for Christmas. I pre-ordered it as soon as I could."
"You remembered that after I said it once?"
"Why wouldn’t I?"
"I’m gonna kiss you, I swear to god."
"What? Hey.. don’t even think about it," Ganji’s head nearly exploded from how flustered he got in a few seconds. He shuffled backward on his bed when William grinned mischievously, not even moving from where he was. Out of humiliation, Ganji instinctively kicked his foot up; William deflected it with his arm before it hit his chin.
"I was kidding."
"Stop making me look stupid."
"It’s funny."
Ganji frowned. William glanced up and read his eyes, sucking in a deep breath through his teeth.
".. sorry. I’ll be nice."
"You better be. If you hadn’t come here, I would kept all this stuff for myself. But you always have to make an effort to look good, don’t you, William Ellis?" Ganji’s hand reached towards his dresser, pulling out one of the small drawers to take something in his fist. The batter held it out in front of the forward, letting a small keychain dangle from his fingers. It was in the shape of a rugby ball, with a large "W" etched on it.
"I almost forgot about this. It’s for your keys— I always thought about how plain they were."
"Plain? That’s a little harsh," William eyeballed the rugby keychain. He raised his hand to take it, fingers brushing together as the gift was exchanged. The tiny accessory had so much charm, it made him smile, laughing to himself as he hunched forward over it. Ganji leaned over him, waiting for him to say something.
"It’s.. so fucking cute.." the rugby player covered his eyes with his hand, blushing. It made him dizzy just realizing how Ganji took noticing the little things to a whole new level— it was too much for his heart to bear. Seeing his name or initials on his gifts made him feel proud; it was the recognition he wanted.
"Put it on your keys."
William fished his keys out of his pocket, staring at the sports-themed lanyard attached to it. He attached the rugby keychain to it, holding it up for the two of them to view. The part with his initials faced Ganji, swinging side to side like a pendulum, hypnotizing him. His fingers gently held the rugby keychain, sliding over it to feel the engravement of the letters. William had a recognizable name.. he was the face of the rugby team, after all. The entire town was proud of him for how he managed to make headlines in several newspapers. When it was merely a fun game in middle school, how did he take this talent so seriously one day and become a star overnight?
Sometimes, Ganji could only fantasize about such a sweet dream like that— going back home and becoming a famous cricket player, joining the biggest league with crowds of people who adored him and cheered his name in the stands, all in a place where they’d be too far to see his scars and farther into his past.
He never asked to be a monster or an animal. All he asked for was freedom, a chance to make cricket balls fly into the sky instead of chasing after them when they rolled in the grass. Ganji was fighting to be noticed at Oletus. Though he was in the spotlight, the audience never showed. Who the hell would watch an alleged arsonist play? No one cared about him— besides his family— because everyone knew that he was trouble. They’d be smart enough to steer clear; all but William. The cricketer pushed his thumb into the "W" on the charm, hard enough to leave an imprint on his finger.
William was lucky to be happy with the person he was. His individuality made him reputable; he wasn’t a dirtbag like the rest of the other athletes. He could be wonderfully charismatic and make anyone crack a smile. He was serious when he needed to, and he knew how to take accountability. It was no surprise that he was so amiable— he was everything Ganji wasn’t. William was lively and energetic, constantly seeking a new way to socialize and engage with others.
Which was why Ganji always thought it felt unusual to see the forward sit still for such a long duration. Seated at his feet, William kept his lips tight, examining his friend’s face. Ganji peered down at him. He drew his eyebrows together, wordlessly asking, what are you looking at? William’s mouth curled into a smile, shrugging with a head tilt as he brushed it off.
"Something on your mind?"
"Perhaps," the batter responded.
Britain almost felt like it purposefully stripped away any sense of self-identity he had left in him. Ganji felt too far and disconnected from where he knew he belonged. He studied his dry hands, wishing he didn’t have to be rejected and marginalized by everyone for who he was. His fingertips loosely held the keychain, letting it fall and swing back into William’s keys.
"Thanks for your gift. And your note. I really liked them." Ganji mumbled sheepishly. Besides the strange, obscene letters he received from the few fangirls he had met, this was the first time someone else wrote him a message about him. He wasn’t sure how to handle the situation, and he was too reserved to properly express his gratitude.
"Yeah, of course. I loved yours too. I can’t tell you how happy I am right now," William closed his gift box, standing up to set it on top of the dresser. "Besides that.. are you alright?"
How Ganji hated that question. Ironically, it pissed him off more when someone asked that. He was never alright, wasn’t it obvious enough?
"Yeah."
William leaned back on the dresser, elbows on the surface. He was suspiciously glancing over at him, and Ganji had a feeling he knew what he wanted to say. His body tensed as he felt the anger building up in his muscles, and he was rigid again, burning hot with choler, longing to keep his thoughts bottled up forever. Talking about his emotions sounded despicable, even to himself— Ganji disliked expressing vulnerability at any given point.
"Are you lying?"
"No! Can you just hop off my fucking—" he bit his tongue, slowing himself down to close his eyes and take a deep breath. The forward was waiting patiently when he looked again. The compassion on his face never faltered, faintly persuading him to talk. Despite how much Ganji hated this much exposure, William had this kind of aura that unexpectedly made him feel confessional. Smart bastard, utilizing his charm to make him open up, huh?
".. sorry. I’ve been thinking too much recently."
"If you need to get it off your chest, go ahead."
"Are you sure?"
"Why not? I’m listening."
Cracking his fingers to release tension, Ganji turned his head away, facing the wall.
"Even though we’re friends, I feel like.. I’m still jealous of you."
"Jealous? Of what?" William raised a brow.
"Your life. We’ve talked about this before," the batter’s leg started bouncing restlessly again. "I wish I was like you. You’re so popular for your sport.. you get along with everyone so well, you’re always included in everything, and I’ve been— I’ve been living in complete darkness ever since I moved here. Even if someone knows me, all they can think about is the Queen’s Guard. I don’t know how word got out about what happened after, but fuck, it’s annoying.. everyone thinks they’re better than me because I’m labeled as a psycho, and I’m too dangerous."
Ganji stopped. He was still trying to crack his fingers, pinching his index tightly. His breathing was almost ragged, shoulders shaking uncontrollably. William saw the buildup in his eyes and immediately pushed himself away from the dresser, standing over Ganji.
"I’m.. so tired, William. I want to be liked by someone. Anyone. I want to be praised and appreciated too. Is there something," he hung his head forward, resting his elbows on his knees and covering his face with his hands, "I’m doing wrong?"
"Ganji. Ganji," William spoke with a hoarse voice, uttering his name like it was his dying breath. He bent his knees while descending to the ground, maintaining eye contact as he knelt in front of him. "No, I don’t think it’s you. I can understand why you feel that way. But why do you think people are scared of you?"
"It’s the fire. The one that killed everyone." Ganji fell silent. His fingertips trailed over his nose, tracing the scar. He was trying to stab his nails through his face, deep into his skin. William reached his hands out and stopped him to prevent further injury, whispering to console him.
"I heard about it when it happened. I can’t imagine how terrified you were; you’re braver than anybody else I know. But.. what have they been saying?"
"They say I’m to blame, and it was expected from someone like me. You stupid British people hate everyone but yourselves— fucked my country over like it meant nothing, and then casually go and point at me like I’m the one invading your land," Ganji focused his attention on an old cricket photograph. "I was never a criminal. Despite that, everyone treated me as such, before and after the incident. I hated that hellhole, sure, but I would know better than to do something like that."
"I agree. People can be assholes, especially when it comes to times race is involved. I get it, I’ve.. had similar issues like that before, too. It’s like having sympathy or respect is too much to ask for."
"Which would be nice if they cared to know how I felt. I was mistreated everywhere I went, even the detention center they took me to.. and that was—"
"You don’t have to tell me," William held Ganji’s forearms, touching his index finger to his elbow, caressing his burns with his thumb. "Don’t feel like you need to tell me it if it bothers you."
"I’ll tell you. I trust you." Ganji’s eyes strayed away from the forward, watching how his thumb dragged slowly along his scar. "They were cruel. I didn’t like being locked up.. it was suffocating. I still remember the white walls with chipped paint, and how everything smelled so fucking bad. I wanted to see the sun, sit in the grass, breathe in the fresh air. But no, I was crammed in there. Those damn guards, waving around their dumb candles in front of me, and then being startled when I had an episode.. scumbags. William, did you know they locked me in a dark room for a few days after that? They were so wary of me, I heard they kept a shit ton of sedatives in case I did something."
"Only for you? That sounds horrible. Aren’t they supposed to help you?"
"They didn’t give a shit. I’m too big of a threat," Ganji forced a smile. "Do you think I’m dangerous?"
"You’re the farthest thing from it. Everyone else was dead wrong. If anything, the only dangerous thing about you is your smile."
The lighthearted joke made Ganji laugh. His hands touched William’s shoulders, sort of massaging them.
"I’m glad to have you around. Maybe there is someone who accepts me."
"Obviously. I like spending our time together. I wish I could’ve been there for you sooner; if I knew you were suffering for so long, I would’ve been right next to you in less than a second."
William, being reluctant to move for a while, gradually lowered his head. The batter put his hand on the back of his friend’s hair, nudging him down to rest against his lap. William’s arms rested on the sides of Ganji’s thighs, rubbing small circles with his thumbs to ease his pain.
"I promised your mother I’d show you that.. there are people out there who don’t want to hurt you," William added.
"Are you one of them?"
"I am. Ganji, you’re one of my favorite people. I could never imagine myself letting go of you."
"I don’t think there’d be a reason for us to go separate ways," the batter blinked slowly, brushing his fingers through the forward’s locs.
"Exactly. In a few years from now, we can get out of Oletus, get into some big leagues, and maybe live together. Would you want to move countries?"
"I was about to say that. I would. Where do you want to go?"
"Wherever you’re going."
"Having you live with me in my home country?" Ganji laughed bashfully. "I’d be too happy. Would you bring your cat?"
"How could I forget her? We’d be a little family." William grinned, shifting his head to look up at him. Ganji returned the look, wondering if he had forgotten about Maeve. He was selfish for doing this— cushioning William’s head against his lap, forgetting he had feelings for him, relishing the physical touch he shared with him by handling his locs with tender affection. William was touching him too, hoping to stay as close as he could to provide support and also to feed off of Ganji’s warmth.
He tapped his friend, murmuring something directly to his face, and they both smiled like little kids. Ganji moved back onto his bed— William got off the floor and climbed on the mattress, wrestling and hugging him hard 'til the air got squeezed out of his lungs. They rolled onto their sides, right into the subdued moonlight, laying inches apart and barely touching. William stared right at him like he was the best thing he’d ever experienced— Ganji glanced off in the direction of the window, trying to keep his hand over his mouth to quiet his laughter. How the forward looked at him, one could only assume that they were in love. He studied him like he was something straight out of the Renaissance; his curls resembling the small dips of rolling hills, skin bright as day, and his lips, sublimely mesmerizing wherever they stretched into a gentle arc. Even if they were quiet, his eyes spoke louder than ever.
"Ganji," he said slowly, "I want you to come for New Year’s."
"New Year’s?" his friend breathed in reply. "I can’t believe it’s already here. Well.. is it at your place?"
"Yeah."
"Will there be a lot of people?"
"Maybe, maybe not," William hummed. "I actually don’t know."
His uncertainty made Ganji hesitate. William slowly reached a hand over and touched the back of the batter’s neck, pulling him closer until their foreheads bumped together.
"You can always stay by me. I know parties aren’t your thing. I’ll let you hold my hand like a little kid or something if you’re afraid of losing me in the crowd."
Ganji’s eyes, big and full of wonder, dilated when he listened to William talk soothingly to him. He had the energy to smile, and to the forward, there wasn’t a dangerous thing about him at all. This so-called "psychopath" was lying in front of him like some kind of angel.
"Thanks," Ganji replied, "I’ll be there."
"I’m expecting you."
On the day of New Year's Eve, it was the afternoon, and the sky in Britain looked like a muted blue, cloudless and empty. The snow wasn’t as clean and pale anymore— melted, slightly sludgy, and deep footprints stamped inches deep. Ganji was on his way to William’s house, following his GPS and anxiously tapping his finger on the steering wheel at every red light. Social gatherings were terrifying to him— he wasn’t even sure who would be there at the party. If they were William’s relatives and family friends, it might’ve been bearable, but anyone from Oletus and he’d run out the door.
He preferred to show up early, offering to help set up any preparations. William gave him the "okay" to come over, even though he knew Ganji clearly wanted to avoid the crowd. Thankfully, it meant more time alone.
Ganji parked his car down the street, glossing over the neighborhood. He opened his phone while leaving his car to notify the forward about his arrival, tucking it in his pocket to start the short walk to his door. His feet patted softly on the damp sidewalk, kicking a tiny rock he found along the way.
William was in the middle of helping his dad haul a large table down to the basement when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He waited until they were able to set it up to check who messaged him. Seeing Ganji’s name show up on his notification list, he smiled.
( G: I parked down the street. I’ll be there in a minute. )
( G: I’m outside. )
As if on cue, the doorbell rang. William hurriedly climbed up the stairs to get the door— after his hand fumbled clumsily with the lock, it creaked open. In front of him, a very cold Ganji, slowly breathing into the air with faint puffs of smoke. The batter held his red scarf up to his face to stay warm, glancing up when the door opened.
"Hi."
"Ganji, get in, man." William grabbed his arm, pulling him forward. Ganji stumbled as he avoided tripping on his shoes.
"Wait, at least let me—"
"No time!"
He forced him inside the house, shutting the door. Ganji tapped the snow off his feet and took off his layers. Something fragrant was roaming in the air, and it made him crane his neck.
"It smells like vanilla in here."
"Oh? Yeah," William offered a hand and took his scarf and coat for him to hang up. "Do you like it?"
"It’s nice."
"My mom’s favorite scent. She’s addicted to anything vanilla."
"I can vouch for that." William’s father emerged from the basement, pointing at Ganji. "Are you the friend William’s been mentioning?"
The batter couldn’t answer immediately, as he turned his head in the other man’s direction for confirmation. Awkwardly, he nodded to the question, straightening his clothes.
".. that would be me, sir.."
"What’s your name?"
"Ganji Gupta."
"Ganji, boy, mind helping me downstairs?" William’s father pointed an accusing finger at his son. "You still have work to finish."
The forward smiled guiltily. Ganji took a second to look at his father, and he saw the uncanny resemblance between them. It made sense where he got his height and facial features from— he was an exact carbon copy of the older man. They towered a little higher than him, somewhat close in height. William’s father was bald with strong features and a neatly groomed beard. His eyes were dark and square, yet he wasn’t as intimidating as he looked. The way he smiled was nearly identical to William’s innocent expression.
His father laid a hand on Ganji’s shoulder, causing him to flinch and come back to reality. Sweat formed on his brow— why the hell was he sweating already?— and he impulsively forced a nod to answer him.
"I can’t hear you, son," William’s dad patted him. "I don’t mind helping at all, Mr. Ellis."
"You’re a good kid," the man laughed heartily, booming from his chest. He slapped him roughly in the center of his back. "Come on, both of you."
He was ushered away into the basement before anyone could explain what he was in for.
William had a nice house. A spacious basement that was just big enough for a New Year’s party, a whole damn bar in said basement, and some of the most exquisite (and honestly unnecessary) furniture or appliances Ganji had ever seen in his life. There were many windows, easily letting in the sunlight while they worked. The only thing Ganji could not stand was how uncomfortably hot it was inside.
His clothes felt gross and wet when he was sweating profusely, moving tables and unfolding chairs, carrying the trays of food to lay out, dragging the drinks into the bar.. he was really feeling exhausted. On top of it all, he couldn’t escape William’s father pressing him about his life. The guy wasn’t fucking awful, but if Ganji even considered opening up about his life, they’d probably kick him out onto the street.
"You from from around here, son?" his father would say. He kept on calling him 'son'; unusual, but comforting. Ganji was still shy around adults, focused on upholding a good first impression.
"No.. I was born in India."
"India? Wow. Very cool place, I’ve heard."
"Yeah."
"When’d you move here?"
"In middle school.."
"What school did you go to?"
"Uh—" Ganji was flustered by the rapid-fire questions. William watched him the entire time while he was setting up the speakers for later. As he messed around with the settings to change the volume, he’d purposefully turn it low when testing a song to eavesdrop. The batter had that small voice crack whenever he felt overwhelmed. William was worried about it at first— he’d sneak repeated glances at Ganji when he had a feeling he wasn’t in the mood to talk. Yet, miraculously, he continued to answer his father’s inquiries.
"You went to the same one as William?"
"Yes. I didn’t talk much to him then."
"Because he hated my guts," William cocked his head, grinning childishly. "He couldn’t stand rugby at all. I remember back when you called me a—"
"Shut up, William." Ganji furrowed his brows, angling his head away. His mouth twitched with a subtle pout.
"I don’t blame you. William’s mad. Still hard-headed, aren’t you?" William’s father remarked, snickering. He turned his attention back to Ganji. "You play any sports, son?"
"I play cricket.”
"Who do you play for?"
"Oletus."
"Oh!" William’s dad opened his mouth, slamming down the collapsible table he was carrying. He leaned back, touching his hand to his forehead. "It’s you!"
".. huh?"
"Gupta, that’s right— you’re the crazy cricket player everyone’s raving about! That’s why I felt like I’ve seen your face somewhere!"
"I’m sorry, crazy..?"
"Yeah! Like, I’ve watched you play before— you’ve got a heavy arm. You’re good at what you do."
Ganji set down a stack of chairs he was carrying. As he placed them down in a row, he mumbled a low 'thank you' to the compliment. William thought he would’ve smiled at how his dad was praising him, but his face looked extremely tight. Something bothered him.
"Did you play for anybody before you joined Oletus?"
".. I was.. at the Queen’s Guard, for a little bit," the batter spoke timidly. The three of them went quiet. William got up from the sound system after he fixed the settings, standing and anticipating their next move. The forward’s father smiled wide, looking side to side.
".. sorry, son, I didn’t hear ya. Could you say that one more time?"
"I was at the Queen’s Guard for a little bit," Ganji repeated, only a little louder. His voice was losing control. His eyes glued themselves to the wood floors.
"The Queen’s Guard? I heard there was a fire there not too long ago.. most of the people there died, didn’t they? Oh, man," William’s father lowered his head ruefully, shaking it with a sharp inhale. "I’m real sorry, son. That.. must’ve been a horrible thing to experience."
"Please, let’s— let’s talk about something else." Ganji’s breathing stopped before it got louder. He was heaving, struggling to talk without straining his words. The folded chair that was just in his hands fell out of his grasp and hit the floor with a deafening rattle. His eyes couldn’t refocus on anything around him, and everything became a blur as soon as the terrifying weightlessness hit. His body was burning up— bad.
William shoved past a few chairs in his way, walking behind him and stretching his hand over his shoulder. The batter clutched his fingers over his chest and tilted forward, unable to slow his ragged breaths. William’s father raised his eyebrows.
"Are you alright, son—?"
"I got him," William cut him off. He held Ganji’s shoulders, pulling him close enough so he could lean over him. Lowering his head to his ear, he whispered, "Do you need a minute?"
"I’m fine, don’t—" Ganji made a failed attempt to brush him off, raising his arm to shrug him away. "Don’t bother."
With a heavy gulp, he knelt down to pick up the fallen chair. William held him back.
"I’m here for you, okay? If you need a minute, then you should take a break."
"No, it’s nothing."
"We’ll be back." The forward pulled his arm around him, moving him somewhere else. Ganji didn’t resist; as a matter of fact, he let himself be moved, hanging his head down. William’s dad gave him a compassionate look as they headed upstairs. On their way to the forward’s room, Ganji stopped in the middle of the dark hallway.
"William," he looked at his palms, dragging them through his hair. "I told you so. It’s all everyone knows me for."
"Ganji. Ganji.."
"He gave me the same look. I can’t make it stop." Ganji covered his face, turning away. "Why do they like to remind me? Everyone says the same thing— 'oh, the Queen’s Guard? The same Queen’s Guard that killed nearly everyone in it, save for the Indian boy and the owner’s son? That Queen’s Guard?' And after they say that, they’ll stare at me, expecting me to feel like— to feel like I— fuck!"
He wanted to punch something. His fist clenched, and he itched to just slam his knuckles into the wall until they bled everywhere and caked on his skin. But these stupid, pretty walls, why would he dirty something like that? Ganji couldn’t punch himself or anything— he knew William would stop him. He felt entirely defenseless in his own body.
His hands tingled all over, and everything was so damn numb. He needed some contact, anything, god, he needed to feel someone, let them touch his face and tell him he wasn’t some stuck-up cricket player and a murderer. Ganji’s face scrunched up and he quickly fell onto his knees, ruffling his hair wildly.
"I— I’m— I’m so sorry, William, I should have—" the batter ducked his head down. He wanted to say something more; his mouth twitched, words dying on his tongue. His throat was dry and he felt nauseous from pure horror. Ganji almost smashed his head into the floor, but knowing it’d definitely scare William, he restrained himself and laid his forehead down instead. He covered himself with his arm, gasping for air.
William got down next to him, putting his arms around him in an attempt to lift him back up. He hugged him and rubbed his back, fixing his bandana around his head, smoothing his hair out of his face.
"I’m here. Ganji, take it easy and breathe. I gotcha. I’m not going anywhere."
"Will.." he could hardly say his name. Ganji was trying to take his advice, but his chest couldn’t handle the pressure. He closed his eyes, wincing— William held his hand behind the batter’s hair, nudging his head to rest on his shoulder.
"Tell me what you need."
Ganji was still. He melted into the subtle hug, slowing his breathing. "This," he’d shake with just one word. "This is all I need."
William shifted off of his knees, resting Ganji against the wall. He held his hand comfortingly, slowly tracing his thumb over his skin, directly on his burns. Ganji’s heart raced from how much his anxiety suddenly peaked, so he frantically looked all over his friend’s face and body to focus his attention on something.
It’ll pass. It’ll pass. It’ll pass, he repeated to himself in his mind. He panted hard, clutching William’s hand, reassuring himself that he’d be there for him. There was a bitter taste in his mouth, and a soreness in his chest the longer he thought about what was bothering him. Ganji stared with William with big eyes, seeming afraid of himself. William cupped both of his hands over the batter’s.
"If there’s anything you want to say, I’m here to listen."
"Would your parents.." Ganji trailed off, still struggling to breathe. "Would they.. look at me any differently, if they knew who I was?"
"Regardless, you’re my best friend. That’s all that matters."
"You’re one of the only people who sees me outside of cricket or- or.. that incident. Everyone thinks about how good or bad I am." Ganji swallowed. "Sometimes, I wish I died in that fire instead. Then I wouldn’t have to live a few years longer here."
William froze. Ganji felt the tension get heavy in the air. He continued anyway, only mumbling lower this time.
".. I know your dad didn’t mean to be rude, but I think about everyone who died that day. It totally kills me. I always feel like.. I shouldn’t have been the one that survived," his breathing paused, before it went in an irregular pattern again. Ganji shook his head and threw William’s hand away from him, covering his arms over his face. "Don’t look at me. I can’t take it."
"Take what?"
"You. You! I can’t take it, the way you look at me all the time. You can’t hide it forever, William, so please— just.. drop the act or something. Stop getting my hopes up."
"I have no reason to pretend to be nice to you." William slowly reached for his hand, prying Ganji’s arms away from his face. "Ganji, think about it. Is there anything I would hold against you? Do you think I have any grudges?"
"All those times I’ve been an ass to you. I hated you because you were better than me— you still are."
"Ganji. I promise you, I’m not trying to be your friend to look 'better' than you. I care about you, I really do."
"I’m sorry. I know I’m a pessimist sometimes."
"I don’t fucking care. Look at me and tell me how you feel, that’s all that matters right now."
Ganji adjusted his bandana, curling his fingers against the hardwood floors.
"I feel humiliated. Maybe I overreacted," he forced a laugh, "now your dad definitely thinks I’m out of my mind."
"He’ll understand, Ganji. It’s not something that can be controlled."
William got up and held his hand out, looking into his eyes with warmth. Ganji tilted his head up, looking at the forward’s clean, calloused palm. He accepted it and hauled himself onto his feet, holding his hand a minute longer. As delicately as he could, he stepped forward, reeling him into a hug.
"Thanks. I mean it."
William crushed his goddamn ribs and nearly obliterated his spine in one swift move, trapping Ganji in a bear hug. He couldn’t control his strength at all, for fuck’s sake—
"I’ll always be here when you need me."
"You’re the best."
"So I’m told."
It was awkward once Ganji and William returned to continue decorating. William’s father apologized over and over for being so ignorant and that he should’ve been more cautious about what he said— the batter was too stupefied to give him a proper response, so the forward stepped in (on his behalf) and settled it for him.
By the time they finished setting up for the party, guests were already flooding in. Ganji underestimated how many people were coming; William didn’t specify that there’d be several big families attending. It felt crowded at the front door when he idled awkwardly by a wall while William greeted everyone coming inside.
One of William’s aunts spotted Ganji in the corner, and she held the forward’s hand, pointing.
"Is that your friend, my dear?"
William checked over his shoulder. Ganji gave him the same sheepish smile he always did— adorable.
"Yeah. We go to school together."
"Why, isn’t he just the cutest thing ever?" the woman cooed, pinching William’s cheek. "I hope he has fun."
Afterwards, she left to go to the basement, as did all the other guests. Ganji crept up behind his friend when there wasn’t a horde of people blocking his way.
"You have a really big family."
"I didn’t know this many people would come," he shuffled, turning to face him. "Does it make you feel uncomfortable? I know you said you don’t enjoy being at big parties, so—"
"No. No, not at all." Ganji interjected. "I’m happy to be here. With you. So.. I don’t mind it."
"Look at you, talkin’ all sweet and shit." William grinned, playfully smacking his arm. "My aunt said you were cute, by the way."
"Really?"
"Stamp of approval. See? People do like you."
"I.. I guess, but, that’s different. People—"
"Williaaam!" A girl spoke in a sing-song voice, chirping happily when she stepped inside. Ganji practically felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise when he recognized who it was without even having to look.
"Maeve, you made it." William abandoned his conversation with him, giving her a welcoming kiss. "Come downstairs, I need to introduce you."
"Oh, that’d be so nice." She took off her coat and scarf, seeing the batter in her peripheral vision. "Hi, Ganji! How’s it goin'?"
"I’m good. You?"
"Feeling amazing. I’m so excited for New Year's!"
"Yeah."
"We’ll be going downstairs, Ganji. You can come too if you want." William held Maeve’s hand, leading her to the stairs. "If not, my room’s the one with the open door. Cricket’s in there somewhere if you can find her."
"Thanks. Have fun."
They descended into the basement, and Ganji was left by himself. Come if you want.. my ass, he rolled his eyes, finding William’s room. For fuck’s sake, everything smelled so much like him, it made his head spin. Medals, trophies, helmets, jerseys, posters.. the whole room screamed his name. He even had his own TV.
Ganji checked high and low for Cricket, making a soft whispering soft to get her attention. A familiar meow came from the closet, and when he slid the doors open, he discovered her tiny hiding place up on a shelf. The cricket player picked her up and hugged her tight.
"It’s always you and me, isn’t it?"
Cricket licked his cheek. She missed him so much, and it made him feel so loved to see how much an animal could express affection better than anyone else. She butted her head against his jaw and nuzzled her face into his neck. Ganji shut the door to play with her, muffling the loud talking from below them.
William showed Maeve around and introduced her to his relatives, being met with approval each time. His mother called her an absolute goddess and was rambling about how lucky her son was to be so blessed— she admired Maeve for a long time, somehow close to tears just from staring at her face. When it was time to get something to eat, William shot Ganji a quick message.
( W: You want something to eat? )
No immediate respond.
Not even a "seen" pop-up.
He tapped his thumb on the screen impatiently.
( W: Ganji, are you hungry? )
Nothing again.
"Hang on, I’ll be back. Grab whatever you want to eat though." William let go of Maeve’s hand, brushing his thumb on her skin before he moved away. He climbed upstairs, almost in a rush. He was beginning to overthink to himself— did something happen in the short time he was left alone?
William’s door flew open when he made it. The lights were on, and Ganji was definitely there. His body was curled up on the forward’s bed, laying on his side, back to the door. Cricket wasn’t visible from where William stood. Ganji’s sweatshirt was thrown onto the floor and he was sleeping peacefully in a black short-sleeved shirt. As he tip-toed to his bed, he saw his phone and keys laying on his desk. No wonder he didn’t reply to his texts.
His first instinct was to make sure he wasn’t passed out or anything. William loomed over Ganji’s body, now noticing the ball of fur also curled up in his arms. He fell asleep cuddling Cricket, that damn bastard. How he seemed to adore his cat more than him.. William ruffled Ganji’s hair.
"Gupta," he said softly. His hand briefly touched the man’s forehead, and fuck, he was warm. Made sense why he didn’t bother with the blanket. William grasped his shoulder and shook him enough to make him stir awake. Ganji rolled so his shoulderblades pressed into the mattress, and his eyes refocused on William’s features.
".. yeah?" The guy couldn’t even keep his eyes open when he was talking to him. William was reminded of the first time he kissed him, and he had the exact same look on his face. He wet his lips, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Why was he nervous? God knows why.
"Do you want anything to eat?"
".. nnh.." Ganji hummed, a hint of fatigue in his voice, "maybe later.. too many people."
"I can go down with you— or bring you a plate."
"No, it’s— it’s.. fine.." he yawned. "I’ll be okay. Thanks, though."
"Can I get you anything? Drink, whatever?"
"I’ll go down on my own. I’m just tired right now. Tell Maeve I said hi."
"Alright," William put his hand on Ganji’s bicep. "Call me if you need anything."
".. mmh."
William pulled the curtains back so it wasn’t entirely dark. He turned the lights off and closed the door, stopping when it was open by just a crack. Through the small opening, he noticed how Ganji laid his head back all the way into his pillow, mumbling something into the air. The batter eventually rolled onto his side again to nuzzle the cat. William knew Ganji insisted on having it this way, but it simply bothered him; he was stressing over the fact he looked like he was being excluded. Leaving the door ajar, he returned to the party.
The experience was a hundred times better than the thing they attended before winter break began. Nothing attacked Ganji’s nostrils wherever he went— it smelled sweet and aromatic, contrasting the repulsive stench of weed and smoke and whatnot. The music below him was loud, and he could for sure feel the bass rattling in William’s room, but it got to a point where he ignored it. Ganji enjoyed being alone, but after the forward came to check up on him, he was starting to miss the company. He was sitting in his room after all, and everything reminded him of William, from how his scent clung to his sheets to the presents he gave him for Christmas, organized neatly on his desk. If Ganji ever thought getting over William was easy, he would be ashamed to admit he was dead wrong. He laid there for a few minutes longer before forcing himself to go downstairs.
For someone who was afraid of large crowds, he wandered in there confidently, holding the railing and looking ahead of him. He passed a young boy going the opposite direction, and the child waved enthusiastically to him. Ganji was amazed by the suddenness of it, and he shyly waved back. He finally entered the basement where music blared from the speakers William had set up earlier, and people were gathered around long rows of tables and loudly conversing. Ganji was sweating. What if they stopped and saw him? Questioned him the way William’s dad did earlier? Could he do anything?
He walked slowly, weaving past people to find his friend. Some eyes followed and stared at him— not with disdain, but rather fascination. One glance, and a quiet "wow" involuntarily left their mouths— but Ganji wouldn’t ever hear it from them. He was perturbed with the possibility of someone approaching him.
Ganji was in the middle of getting food and a drink before someone tapped him on his shoulder. He turned around, half-expecting William, freezing up when a girl his age looked up at him.
"Hey." She smiled at him. Something about it was intimidating and strange to him; her eyes scanned his body up and down, and she examined his muscles for an uncomfortably long time.
"Hey."
"What’s your name?"
Striking up a conversation when all he wanted to do was get food, find William, and go back upstairs. He had to relax his face and look approachable so she wouldn’t think he was an asshole— goddammit, it was too much work to socialize. And this shit came naturally to people?
"Ganji."
"Cute name. You from around here?" she leaned forward, too close for comfort, but he was being backed towards a wall. She didn’t even say her name yet!
"I.. yeah, kind of." He laughed, tense. “I moved here years ago."
"You’re real fine," she whispered with a seductive giggle, and he felt his stomach drop for a second. "Wanna go out with me sometime? Watch a movie?"
"I might be busy." Ganji bit his lip. William wasn’t among anyone in the room. Was it possible to worm his way out of going somewhere with this chick? He wasn’t even interested, but for some reason, he felt like he couldn’t say no.
"We can find a day. Hey, come sit upstairs with me," the girl grabbed him by his wrist, and against his will, pulled him along. Ganji looked around helplessly and spotted some people giving him a nasty look, but for what?
They left the basement and she sat him down in a chair at the dining table. She took the seat across from him, scooting right into his personal space. Ganji set his plate down, making an awkward attempt to avoid eye contact— he could only take the first bite of his food before she started talking again.
"Who invited you here?"
"William," he spoke after he swallowed his food. "Cool guy."
"William, huh? I see it. You go to Oletus, I assume?"
"Yeah."
She drummed her nails against the table. "So, you got a girlfriend?"
Shit, William, if you can hear me, get me out of here, please, he forced a smile. Would this have been a good time to be a little mean? He didn’t want this, but she looked like one of William’s relatives, and the last thing he wanted to do was to upset someone.
"No. I’m not dating anyone."
"Oh?" She inched forward again. Her leg brushed his, and his eye twitched— he was already on edge. It didn’t help him much when she laid a hand on his arm, feeling his muscles. Her hands were soft, but they were foreign. He felt threatened. Ganji inevitably pushed her hand off of him.
"I am talking to someone, though."
"What difference does that make?"
"I.." Ganji hesitated. "I like her. I’m fine with being friends, though."
"If you like her, wouldn’t you be dating her by now?"
"That’s my business."
"Well, can’t you make up your mind? I think you’re cute, and we could really hit it off. Double dates with William and his girlfriend, you know?"
"I’m really not—"
"Ganji? Ganji, you up here?" William popped out of the basement. His eyes flickered to the dining table, and the batter smiled wide when he appeared. Seeing the situation he was in, his face was overcast with a shadow of annoyance. William strided over to the two, pulling a chair next to his friend.
"Leave him alone, will ya, Imani?" he sneered at his cousin. Imani glared harshly at William, still keeping close to Ganji. He felt caged between them and their staring contest— it was so deathly quiet, despite the racket downstairs.
"Whatever," Imani rolled her eyes and got up. "Nice meeting you. Maybe I’ll see you around again, cutie." She waved to the cricketer.
"Get the hell out of here." William clenched his jaw. Ganji was amused by how menacing he sounded, words laced with venom when he bitterly shot a weird look at the girl and muttered after she left. "Sorry you had to deal with her. She’s.. been in a phase. Got a boyfriend and shit, yet she doesn’t feel satisfied. You’re alright though, yeah? Didn’t bother you too much?"
"It’s fine."
"God, I can’t leave you for one second, it scares the living hell out of me," William wrapped his arm over the batter’s shoulders, leaning too close. Ganji didn’t fret about it. He didn’t complain or freeze up when his hand massaged his shoulder either- the touch wasn’t coming from a stranger this time.
"I don’t plan on following you like a dog everywhere. Plus, you really have to stop walking away from Maeve so often to check up on me. I’m doing fine."
"She knows where I am," William pouted, suspicious of Ganji accusing him of something. "I want to make sure you’re having fun. She likes parties, but you don’t."
What the hell? Is he comparing us right now? Ganji looked away, reaching to grab his drink. He disregarded the comment, holding the red cup to his lips and looking somewhere else. William tapped his finger on the table.
"So, New Year’s. Shit went fast, huh?"
".. yeah."
"Got any plans? New Year’s resolutions?"
"I don’t do those," he took a long swig from his cup. William stared at his neck when he swallowed, biting the inside of his lip. It was bad timing to be thinking about it, but he couldn’t erase the memory of the night he absolutely ravaged his skin and left marks that had long faded away by now. Every interaction felt overly intimate, and they both knew it. Perhaps Ganji ignored it better than he did.
"Nothing? Really? You don’t wanna, like, get better at cricket, or get into a new hobby, or—"
"I don’t have plans for myself. Things happen to me when they choose to."
"Damn.. I see. Well, for mine.. I’d like to get better at rugby, spend more time around people I love, save more money, and.." William paused, smiling at him. Ganji arched his brow, skeptical.
"Why are you looking at me?"
"I hope I get to know you more."
The batter, out of habit, opened his mouth and gawked at him as if he confessed to slaughtering his whole family. It wasn’t the first time William ever said something so "corny", but it shocked him nonetheless.
".. don’t stay stupid stuff like that, it makes me nervous." Ganji narrowed his eyes, tilting his chin in the opposite direction.
"That’s exactly why I say it. Hey, why are you looking away?" William leaned over his shoulder, snickering mischievously. "Do you find it weird?"
The other man shook his head. William laid back in his chair, propping a leg up.
"Will you come down later for the countdown?"
Ganji loosely held his cup, swishing the contents around. He watched the liquid sloshing inside while William’s question was followed by a period of silence. The truth was, he was getting jumpy being surrounded by people he didn’t know— in a loud environment, no less. He wished he could sit up and look at the moon through these obnoxiously big windows, waiting until the time hit 12:00, and when it did, everything would still look and feel the same. But William’s face was so demanding, and Ganji just couldn’t force himself to turn his attention away from the hopeful gleam in his eyes. With a defeated sigh, he lowered his head, blushing.
".. okay, fine."
"Hell yeah!" William cheered. He got up and stretched his arms, looking about the kitchen. "Well, I need to feed Cricket before I go back.. is she still in my room?"
"Last I checked, yeah."
"Alright. Take care, man."
Around 10 minutes before midnight, the guests were getting excited, preparing cameras and drinks to celebrate. William was helping his father set up the TV to find a live counter. Ganji had yet to come down as the forward lifted his head every so often, looking around in case he did show up.
The video he pulled up for the New Year’s countdown started lagging horribly until everything was in large, miscolored pixels. With a frustrated groan, William set to work, trying to find a way to fix it. For a couple minutes, the TV wasn’t cooperating, and it really grinded his gears. He raised his arm to scratch the back of his head— oblivious to his surroundings, he ended up elbowing someone behind him in the face. William snapped his neck backwards with a wince.
"Oh, god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you—"
".. it’s fine, it’s—" Ganji clutched his nose, waving him off. The taller spaced off, staring at the center of his face.
".. Ganji?"
William’s guilt had tripled when he realized he injured his friend. Baffled by his sudden appearance, he left his dad to fix the counter while he shook Ganji by his shoulders and apologized a million times.
"I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you!" William squeezed his arms. "When did you come down here? You scared me! Let me see your nose. It’s not bleeding, is it?"
"It’s nothing." Ganji’s hand was pried off by William, and he momentarily scrunched his nose to see if it ached. Felt like a bruise, but he’d brush it off.
"I’m glad you’re here, though! Are you ready for the countdown?"
"Sure. Where’s Maeve?"
"Had to use the bathroom— she’ll be back soon. You can stick around for now."
William stroked his hand with his thumb like he did earlier. His dark eyes made the small jump they typically did when they moved to his face— staring at Ganji’s eyes, to his nose, his eyes again, and then his mouth. The batter watched with a straight face, although his heart lit on fire when he did the small gesture more than once. That fire died out just as fast when he caught him looking apprehensively around the room, letting go of him and stepping back a safe distance.
It was nearing the time for the last few minutes of the year, and they stood side-by-side by the wall, occasionally making small talk. William was checking the time repeatedly until his girlfriend found him around the corner.
"I’m back, sorry. I got dragged into a conversation about you." Maeve laughed and waved to the two of them. "Hi again, Ganji. You excited?"
"Yeah."
No, he was far from it, but he’d pretend he was for William’s sake. New Year’s wasn’t meaningful to him. Every year seemed equally as bad as the next, and nothing ever changed, except for time. Life was so unpredictable that he found no enjoyment in it— he’d look like a fool to wish for a good, prosperous year and then live in great affliction from then on. Resolutions were a pain in the ass too; he’d knew people would make shit up just to never accomplish those goals. The most Ganji could do was enjoy the moment here.
The countdown for the last minute finally started. Everyone was up and bustling about, talking about their wishes for the new year. The seconds flew by; 50, 40, 30, then 20.. nobody could sit still. The lights were turned off at random, colorful lights illuminating the basement. Ganji was caged in a headlock from William when he was stunned by the blinding disco ball shining right into his eyes. His arm squished his face tightly.
"It’s almost time! Are you ready, Gupta?"
"Ah.. yeah, of course."
The real countdown was beginning now. Everyone yelled the numbers at the top of their lungs; Ganji’s head might’ve exploded if it weren’t for the fact William had a reassuring arm glued around him at all times. He was sort of disassociating from the whole thing. The faintest voices slipped through his ears.
"6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.."
1.
"Happy New Year!"
The clock struck midnight. It began to chime noisily, and the house filled with lively screaming, erupted with cheers and hollers, people embracing or kissing their partners. Ganji fucking forgot about that tradition. He felt William’s arm slip away from him. He didn’t have to look to know why. But, naturally, his eyes always followed him wherever he was.
The forward held his girlfriend with gentle hands, cupping her face with a longing kiss. It was like getting stabbed in the gut when Ganji peered over when they pulled away, hugging and touching their foreheads together like any lovers would. It was sickeningly disgusting. That forehead touch. Ganji couldn’t stand it a minute longer. He wanted to go home now that it was a new year, but he couldn’t leave yet. Earlier, he promised to help with the cleanup, but he wasn’t even sure if this party would end ‘til the morning.
Ganji knew the second-best thing to do would be to go upstairs and sleep until it was over. He left while it was still dark, and as he had mentioned before, it wasn’t hard to go unnoticed when you were a shadow in the crowd.
Not to William Ellis, though. He sensed it the moment he stepped away.
Ganji slept in William’s room until it was quiet again. His chest was heavy. He didn’t know why, he didn’t bother finding out why. Cricket wasn’t there to snuggle with him, for she had retreated to her own hideout. The batter knew there was a chance William would go look for him.
Guests gradually slipped out of the house as it got late. Maeve was gathering her stuff, hugging William’s parents before she was on her way out. William waited at the door for her. She walked quietly, standing face-to-face with him, raising her hand to move his locs out of his face.
"Thank you for having me. I had a good time. Your family is wonderful."
"They love you."
"Did Ganji go home already? I haven’t seen him in a while."
His coat was still hanging on the coat rack. His red scarf looked had been knocked to the floor by other guests grabbing their stuff. William stared at the two belongings, kneeling down to pick up his scarf. He brushed it off and bundled the material up in his arms.
"No, he’s still here."
"Is he alright?"
"I’ll find him. I think he’s just tired." William kissed her on the cheek, running a hand over her hair. "Get home safe, Maeve. I love you."
"I love you, William." She smiled. Taking her bag and putting on her boots, they hugged one last time before she eventually left. He shut the door, leaning against it with his shoulder. His fingers were still grasping Ganji’s scarf— for whatever reason, he didn’t feel like hanging it up right away. It was lightweight, wool soft to the touch. He dwelled on how long it had been on the floor. Forgotten.
Hanging it up again, William walked briskly to his room, finding a closed door. When he stepped inside, the silhouette of his best friend on his bed relieved him. William approached his bed, pressing his knee into the edge of the mattress to lean over Ganji. The batter had his head pressed into his arm, eyes covered.
"Ganji."
Silence.
"Ganji.."
Still silence.
"Ganji!"
"I’ve been awake, William," Ganji murmured to himself. "Is it time to clean up yet? I can get—"
He flinched when William grabbed the arm covering his face and moved it away. Wide-eyed, he could feel a heavy sense of dread crawling up his spine, contemplating on whether or not he did something wrong. There was no other reason William would need to see him this urgently, right?
"No, don’t worry about that. Some of the guests are helping my family."
".. do you need me to go home?" he inquired. God, William was burning against his wrist. He never realized how weak he felt under someone else’s hands.
"What? No, I’m not kicking you out or anything. Go home whenever the hell you want. I was asking if you were alright."
"I’m—"
"Be honest, please. I’ve been worried all day."
"Honest? Fine. It was fun. I just don’t like big crowds. I don’t like being stared at, either."
"Sorry."
"You say it like it’s something you can control," Ganji laughed with an amused look on his face. "I appreciate the thought, though. You inviting me somewhere. I guess that’s what makes me happy."
"Aw, fuck, now you’re saying corny stuff."
"So what? You do it too."
"No, it’s funny, though!"
"I’ll take back what I said, then."
"Ganji, come on!"
William gasped when Ganji yanked his hand away from his grip, flicking him directly on the forehead. The batter smirked, not an ounce of shame on his face.
"First one of the year."
"You little shit," the forward messed up his hair. "Speaking of which, do you like New Year's?"
"No. I don’t enjoy it that much. I don’t see the appeal in getting riled up just for the next morning to be like any other day. The excitement wears off fast. The year doesn’t have many good things in store, either."
"Well, think of it this way. It’s like a fresh start. You can make this year good."
"Is that something I can do, though?"
"You can do anything. I know you said you didn’t have any resolutions, but.. do you have any wishes for the future?"
"You know what? I do. I want to stick around long enough. Make the most of my life here. It feels like a waste when I drag myself around like an empty husk."
"How do you want to start?"
"Spend time around people, take care of my health—" Ganji stopped, shaking his head. He laid his index finger and his thumb over his temples and leaned into the pillow. "Nevermind. It sounds stupid."
"No, of course not. Don’t worry. If you think you can’t do it on your own, I’ll be here to help."
"You’ve always been helpful, William. Do you know that?"
William didn’t say anything. He let his expressions do all the communicating, just so he wouldn’t say something to ruin the moment. Ganji appreciated the silence; sometimes, all he needed was to let his voice be heard to feel like he was enough.
"I really hope that one day we could share a future, like you said before. Jesus, I’ve never felt this way with someone else. Honestly, you’re fucking unbelievable."
"I’ll make this the best year you’ve ever had."
"Since you sound so sure of yourself, I’ll believe you."
"Why, do I look like a liar to you?"
"You’re as much of a liar as I am," Ganji yawned and pushed himself up. "I think I should head home. My mom’s gonna worry herself to death again."
"That’s cool. Tell your family I said 'Happy New Year'."
"I will."
William’s entire head moved to watch Ganji moving slowly off his bed. The batter huffed when he climbed off the bed, swiping his sweatshirt from the ground, belongings from the desk. Rolling his neck and shoulders, Ganji stared at the floor absentmindedly. After a heartbeat, he spoke over his shoulder.
"I hope we’ll always be together. No one else in the world could’ve gotten this out of me," Ganji scratched his cheek to mask the flush on his face, quietly lowering his voice. "Goodnight, Ellis."
"Goodnight. Get home safe, Gupta."
After he watched Ganji’s car leave through his window, William sat on his bed, patting down the spot his friend was resting in. He laid down, closing his eyes when he sank into the pillow. It was warm, and there was a different scent that stuck to it; regardless, he knew who it belonged to. He smiled endearingly to himself when he reflected on what Ganji said to him, those words spoken out of gratitude.. it made William more exhilarated to hear the batter say something nice than to win some big rugby tournament. Crossing his arms behind his head, he closed his eyes, envisioning Ganji’s face in his mind.
God, he really changed over the last few months. Back then, Ganji would’ve preferred to strangle himself or jump in front of a speeding truck than look in William’s direction. Now here he was, discretely and indirectly telling him he loved him, valued him. The forward liked to believe he helped his heart grow bigger.
New year, fresh opportunities, more chances to strengthen their bond. Nothing bad could happen— they had each other’s back no matter what.
Unfortunately, things happen, and we aren’t able to undo things once they are done.
Chapter 10: Falling
Summary:
Ganji and William have their own Valentine's Day plans. The batter’s certain his life is getting better, but it’s hard to say with the inconsistency of their friendship. Clinging onto the hope for a better future, he realizes that destiny was never on his side to begin with.
Notes:
hi. sorry for uhm neglecting you guys like a deadbeat dad. your comments dragged me out of my slump and i had the strength to finish this chapter for yall
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
January was the slowest month. Nothing in particular ever happened— it just seemed to last forever until it drove everyone insane. Campus life took a little time to readjust to with all the people, but it was a smooth transition. It was when February rolled around that Ganji felt a deep sense of foreboding stirring up in his mind.
Mentions of it online, seeing it in shops wherever he went, and god, the giant boxes of chocolate and massive rose bouquets that taunted him.. it was nothing but Valentine’s Day. Ganji’s eyes could’ve melted from the excruciatingly bright, bold colors that flashbanged him in every building he entered. There was no other time in the year when he could be this big a pessimist.
Valentine’s Day wasn’t a bad holiday. If you had someone who loved you enough to show it to you.
Ganji never had a "Valentine", and he’d never been one either. He scared half of the entire world off after his manic incident. It made him depressed when he would sit awake at night, brooding over the last time he ever received something for it— eventually, he’d give up and go to sleep upon realizing there was no such thing as that.
This particular night, here in their dorm, it was him and William (plus Cricket, on her owner’s chest). William lay on his back with his phone over his head, face dimly lit by his screen. He’d laugh at some idiotic clip online, and whatever he was watching, he’d send it to Ganji wordlessly. No real conversation occurred.
Ganji would see the notification, maybe watch half the video if he felt nice, and then leave it. Talking to William felt rather nerve-wracking nowadays— just to clear up any assumptions, it wasn’t that the forward had wronged him recently. Ganji’s only problem was the irony of them hardly spending time together after swearing it on New Year’s. William was always somewhere with Maeve. The batter didn’t care then! He’d shrug it off, maybe think, "Hey, that’s your girlfriend, do whatever the hell you want," right?
Ganji couldn’t act like he didn’t care. He did, in fact, care a lot, more than he thought he would. It was too quiet some days, and he would just hope that William would be the first to talk to him. Initiating a conversation wasn’t his thing. He’d cast a wistful glance his way, just to see his eyes glued on his phone, hand freely stroking Cricket down her fur and patting her back.
William enjoyed what he thought was a little parallel play time. He could sit and do whatever, feeling comfortable with Ganji sitting a few feet away from him. It was spectacular— he loved his presence so much, he could bask in it like it was pure sunlight. The batter was like the sun itself. He was so damn awesome; smart, athletic, funny when he felt like it, god, he was a hell of a guy to talk to. William liked to push his buttons sometimes, only because nothing made him laugh louder than seeing the scowl on Ganji’s face. He believed that everything was great again, like how they were at the beginning of their friendship. If he felt like it, the forward could definitely move across the room and crawl into the guy’s bed, and he’d let him.
William’s life was going great. He was friends with a lot more people, he was keeping up in his classes, and his relationship with Maeve went along smoothly. The rugby player had his head in the clouds, picturing the grand surprise he’d make for her for this upcoming Valentine’s Day.
It was strange to think about how Maeve and Ganji came into his life at the same time, now that he really reflected on it. How sweet of the universe to send him two of the most important people in his life when he really needed the company. William subtly turned his head in Ganji’s direction, just to look at him, take in the sight of him living and breathing and just existing right there. Something about the batter made him an irresistibly arresting guy. Even in the dark he looked handsome, concentrated on whatever he was blinking at. The same furrow he had in his brows, oh, William could stare at it all day— Ganji’s face was etched into his brain from how often he studied him.
Ganji pulled his eyes away from his screen to glance at William as well. He hadn’t noticed that he was already being observed until they unintentionally made eye contact.
"What?" he turned his phone off.
"Hi."
"Hi. Why aren’t you sleeping?"
"Same goes for you."
"I’m not tired yet. You usually sleep earlier than me."
"Eh.. tonight’s not the night."
"Something happened?" Ganji shifted in his bed, trying to cover his body in heavy blankets to protect himself from the cold.
"No, nothing bad happened," William laid the back of his hand over his forehead, watching the ceiling as he lowered his phone. "It’s just, you know.. Valentine’s Day. I gotta get something for Maeve."
"I—" Ganji cut himself off. "I— ah.. right, yeah, yeah, Valentine’s— Valentine’s Day, I completely forgot." He stopped to exhale loudly through his nose. William recognized the immediate pause and the stammering that followed, skeptical.
"You doing anything with Nora?"
"Nora? Nora, Nora.." the batter repeated her name like an incantation. He nodded slowly as he said it again to himself. "I haven’t talked to her lately. I haven’t seen her, either. Should I.. do something?"
"If you want. You like her like that?"
"What do you mean if I like her like that? What does that mean?"
"You dating?"
"No."
"Ah, look at you now," William clicked his tongue, pointing and laughing at him. "You were on my ass for so long because I didn’t ask Maeve out for a while— now look at you, man."
"Shut up!" Ganji hissed, throwing the stuffed bunny he had at his roommate. William managed to catch it effortlessly with one hand, pissing him off even more. He chucked a lamb plush at his face, smacking him in the nose.
"Fuck!"
"Ha!" the batter sat back in his bed with a cocky smile. "Nosy asshole."
"Why is it different for you? Huh?" William searched around for the lamb toy, picking it up and squishing it. "You’re a hypocrite."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not," Ganji snarled.
"Are.. too." William raised an eyebrow.
"So what if we aren’t dating? It’s not my fault, I just— I don’t want to say I’m ready if I’m not ready. And I don’t want to risk her losing feelings for me if something’s wrong. It’s better if we both wait first and give it a little time to make sure we’re both.. we’re both into it, y’know?"
"Are you scared of getting rejected?"
"I wouldn’t get rejected." Ganji frowned.
"Confident, I see. Are you scared of commitment?"
"No. Not at all."
"What a man!" William snickered. "Well, if you like her, I bet you could really get closer to being serious if you took her out on a date for Valentine’s Day. Get her some stuff too. Girls are nuts about Valentine’s— they like it when men spoil them rotten; it’s attractive when a guy cares a lot about his girl.
Ganji crossed his arms and lay his back against his headboard. He tapped his finger on his bicep, looking all over his bed. Cricket meowed while they were both silent, jumping off of William to wander around the dorm. He proceeded to roll over onto his side, facing Ganji.
"You’re worried about a repeat with your first date, aren’t you?"
"Is it obvious?"
William nodded. Ganji’s shoulders sank from how humiliated he felt.
"I’d love to take her out on a date. But I’m still salty from being ditched the first time I went on a date. Who even does that? It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did, but I was so disappointed, it just kept gnawing at me until I realized what happened. Why she left. To go with another dude, some cunt she thought was better than me." He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Some people aren’t worth the time."
"But what if they are? Not every girl will be an Evelyn in your life. Nora’s nice, I can tell, and she doesn’t look like the kind to bail on dates. Plus, it’s like a second chance. If you guys really hit it off, that’d be awesome. Then you’d stop third-wheeling me and Maeve when we go out."
"Stop third-wheeling? As if you’re not the one who forces me to whenever you go somewhere?"
William smiled idiotically from ear to ear. Ganji was out of objects to throw at him. When the forward winked, he rolled his eyes, playing with his medallion hanging around his neck and biting it softly.
"Yeah. I do, but I like you. On a serious note, though, if you like Nora, shoot your shot! Be confident. Treat her the way you wanna be treated."
"I’m just worried, I mean.. if she changed her mind, and she doesn’t see me that way anymore, or if there’s someone else— I don’t know if I like her or if she’s just a pretty girl."
"What do you like about her?"
"I guess it’s the way she smiles. How meticulous she is about the way she looks. The way she physically can’t stay in one place when she laughs, and she has to hit or lean on me regardless of how funny something is. Her hands are always warm and it feels nice. She’s so quiet and loud at the same time. Nora doesn’t question me too much about anything, and then.. talking to her doesn’t feel like a chore."
Ganji was slowly glancing towards the ceiling, grinning to himself. William nodded with each thing he said, surprised to see his friend ever experiencing love for someone else. He was a diffident person, but when one girl could give him the interaction he craved, he’d suddenly drop everything for her. It kind of killed William to see how excited Ganji was to talk about making new connections for a change. The forward couldn’t help but drift off, daydreaming about the things the batter would say about him.
"William?"
"Huh?" he stared ahead of himself, turning to find Ganji’s face across the room.
"Did I say too much?"
"What? No! No, not at all. I mean, one thing is for sure, you definitely like her."
"So.. what do I do?"
"I think you should ask her to be your Valentine, first."
"Oh. Should I ask her right now?" Ganji picked up his phone, opening Nora’s contact.
"Woah, woah, woah, slow down."
"What?"
"You gotta ask her in person."
"No, I can’t."
"Why not? It’s not hard. Make a cute poster, get flowers, dress up—"
"No, I can’t. I can’t ask her in person." Ganji tossed his phone onto his bed. He grabbed fistfuls of his hair, huffing and covering his eyes with his palms. "Her friends don’t know about me. They knew she was talking to someone, but they didn’t know it was me. It’s too risky. I don’t want Evelyn to find out or Nora’s gonna get caught up in something."
"You don’t have to go to her school. Ask her to meet somewhere, idiot. If she says yes to you, then you can plan a date— it’s up to you how serious you wanna be about this." William held up the bunny and lamb plush. "If everything goes well— which, I bet it will, since you guys like each other— then you’ll have a girlfriend."
"It can’t be that simple."
"Oh, but it is. Trust me, she’s head-over-heels for you, dude. Don’t stress about it too much. If you’re lucky, then you can end the night with a nice, little.."
William pressed the bunny and the lamb’s faces together, mimicking a kiss sound. Ganji pursed his lips at the action, flinching when his friend tossed the toys back to him.
"Do what you can. I believe in you."
".. I guess it doesn’t sound that bad of an idea."
"Yeah, there you go! That’s the spirit."
"I’ll do it." Ganji slumped down in his bed, rolling over and shoving his face into the pillow. He repositioned his plushies so that the bunny had its arms around the lamb in a gentle hug. His fingers smoothed over the bunny’s head, petting it affectionately.
William was always supportive of everything he did. Ganji was regretful that he was jealous of his friend’s happy relationship— no one validated or saw him the way he did. It was hard to imagine the day when William would really distance himself and lose contact. Ganji felt like snapping his own neck when he tried to acknowledge the fact that William wasn’t a big dick, and it had been him all along. He couldn’t congratulate him for his achievements without feeling envious or miserable, wishing he could have done something as honorable as him. But William kept on shining with his charming smile, standing right in Ganji’s corner whenever he needed him.
He had to be better. Every time.
Ganji spent the whole week preparing to ask her out. He had the poster ready, plus flowers with chocolate and teddy bears— god, were they really necessary?— but he couldn’t shake off the nerves. He mentioned to Nora ahead of time that he wanted to meet her on the red bridge. Peaceful Haven. She agreed to come see him there at night, just as he planned.
So there he waited, near the middle of the bridge. Ganji was paranoid about standing too close to the railing and inevitably dropping something onto the frozen river below, so that’s where he settled. Luckily, there weren’t many walkers. Fewer people to see him look like an idiot if he gets turned down. He anxiously fixed his hair and adjusted his scarf, sighing. He wasn’t sure how long to wait. Man, did he get sick of waiting all the time, especially when the person he was expecting never came when he wanted them to.
About five minutes after the time he asked to meet up, Nora was visible from a few meters. Ganji recognized it immediately; she ran in a way that made her hair bounce, with her hand pressed over her bangs so they didn’t fly from the wind. Her face always found his with a kindred smile, similar to his mother’s. His heart ached at the sight of her. He hurriedly hid the gifts behind his back.
"Ganji!"
"Hi."
Nora slowed down, stopping in front of him. She lifted her head, beaming. Her face was glowing, and man, Ganji finally understood why Maeve had a chokehold on his friend. Something about a gorgeous girl could knock you out.
"What did you want to talk about?"
Nora spoke like she was deprived of air— was she so excited to see him? She barely did anything and his head was spinning like crazy.
"Nora," Ganji muttered, revealing the poster and gifts huddled in his arms. “I really enjoy being around you, and I can’t help but let you know how beautiful you are to me."
Nora’s eyes widened and her jaw practically hit the ground. Her hands cupped over her mouth, whether it was to display her shock or to warm up her trembling fingers.
"I.. would really love it if we could spend Valentine’s Day together," he lowered his voice, narrowing his eyes and glancing away, "if you want to, of course."
Don’t tell me she already has one, Ganji prayed. I’d rather jump off this bridge than go home with this shit in my hands.
"I— ah! Oh my god!" Nora squeaked, holding her hands over her cheeks, reddening in what seemed like milliseconds. Ganji figured she was trying to scream, but nothing came out of her mouth. She looked like she was close to tears, and his chest tightened with fear. Hesitantly, he offered the flower bouquet with small chocolate boxes and plush bears poking from between petals, and she accepted them quickly. Nora’s hands squeezed around it. Ganji couldn’t ask her if she was alright before she smashed herself into his chest, throwing her arms around his shoulders.
"I’d love to, I’d fucking love to," she cried with joy. "Ganji, you’re the best person alive, I can’t believe you did all this! You’re amazing!”
The sudden praise disoriented him. His heart rate accelerated just from the contact, and now, hearing something like that from another person— a girl— he was in awe. Ganji hugged her back.
"Would you want to go out for dinner on Valentine’s Day?" he asked.
"Well.. to be honest, I’d prefer it if we could hang out at my house. It’s super cold, and knowing that everyone’s gonna fight for reservations and stuff.."
"I guess so. That works with me."
"Oh, that’s perfect! Hey, wait— can we take a picture together? Please?" Nora moved out of the hug, keeping a hand on Ganji’s arm. "The stuff you got me is just so stinkin’ cute."
"Yeah. Yeah, yeah," Ganji nodded, smiling. "Could I ask that you.. don’t show my face, please?"
"Oh, I see. A soft launch. That’s perfect. God, Ganji, you’re perfect."
"A what?"
"Get over here!"
William was in the middle of washing his dishes in the dorm, playing his music on his phone with Cricket weaving between his feet. He repeatedly checked the time, counting how long his roommate had been out. Being by yourself was tolerable until you started missing having someone to bother all the time— he scrubbed and rinsed plates impatiently, awaiting his return to interrogate him about how it went.
Ganji was changing so much. To think he liked William at some point, and now he was pursuing another girl. The forward, recalling how he described Nora last time, felt troubled when he thought about how she could take his place as Ganji’s best friend and favorite person. Man, did he really know how to move his heart to tears.. something about that guy got William good, though he could never put his finger on it.
The door clicked and sighed when it opened. William and his cat rotated to find Ganji stepping inside the dorm with a fat smile on his face. He turned off the water and dried his hands before he went to greet the batter.
"So.. how did it go?"
"She said yes," Ganji shut the door, laughing to himself breathily. "Man, she’s cute."
"Where’d you go, anyway?"
"Hm? I thought I told you. The bridge."
"The bridge? Peaceful Haven? You mean our bridge?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I took you there first," William pouted. "Now you’re taking other people there."
"Shut up. You did it too, moron."
William shut up quickly. Ganji said his name in an exasperated tone while removing his scarf and coat to hang up. He didn’t tell him much after that. The forward crept up on him from behind, peeking over his shoulder until they made eye contact.
"What’re you gonna do for Valentine’s Day?"
"Go to her place. She wants to be casual. Too cold to go out," he gave a very straightforward response, shifting past William to toss his keys on his desk. Putting his hands in his pockets and pacing around his friend, the taller squinted at the blank keys.
"That’s nice. I’m gonna take Maeve out again."
"You won’t make me babysit Cricket, will you?"
"Nah, you’re busy with your own stuff. I think she’ll be okay," William stretched his arms over his head and sat down on Ganji’s bed. He didn’t question it, though it was a bit strange. "What time will you be back from her place?" William asked.
"I don’t know. I might stay the night if she wants me to."
"Look at you go, alright. Hey, you guys won’t do anything, will y—"
"William." Ganji scowled, blushing.
"I’m kidding!" he raised his hands in defense. "You know what? You have fun. Both of you. Honestly. I’m just glad you got someone who likes you as much as you like them— it’s great! I’m cheering you on from the sidelines, Gupta."
"Thank you. I’m still getting used to it."
"Keep it up! Really," William let out a small exhale, ".. really."
William wasn’t sure what he was thinking. Something kept him awake, and he wished it didn’t mean so much to him. For instance, Ganji’s face was finally calm for once when he slept. It was nothing but an annoyed expression most of the time, but he looked relieved. He was so pretty when he could finally sleep without a care in the world. Lying in front of him, like he did the day after Christmas, was way better; William could really get a good look at his face— and his scars.
He scrolled on his phone a little more, spying on his recommended. The forward turned his brightness down when he stopped on a new photo from— you guessed it— Nora’s account. In the following post, her arm cradled a bountiful amount of flowers while her other hand held a guy under his chin, cupping his jaw. None other than Ganji.. it was clear he took the selfie for them.
A large heart blocked his face to keep his identity a secret. Underneath, the caption had nothing but two eye emojis. Her comments were flooded with questions about the mystery guy. Nora was adamant about keeping it private for their sake— good for Ganji that he found such a considerate girl.
William charged his phone and surrendered to his drowsiness, laying it down on his bed. Before closing his eyes, the last few thoughts he had in his head swirled together in a murky cloud of emotions. Was he a hypocrite? Dishonest? Protective? Cunning? Was he wrong to feel worried about Ganji being mistreated again?
Maybe it didn’t matter now. Nothing had happened yet— even if that was the case, he trusted Nora with his friend’s heart.
Ganji never stopped writing to his mother. It was part of his routine, to obsessively check his mail for anything new from her, whether it was a letter or a gift. He wrote about things he thought she’d like to hear about, such as his upcoming date with Nora. Each pen stroke cleared his head and filled him with hope for new beginnings as the year was starting well.
His mother did ask about William, but not once— it was in almost every letter. She’d slip it in the middle of a paragraph, questioning how he and Ganji were getting along. Seeing William’s name in her handwriting felt somewhat bittersweet to him. The thing was, there wasn’t anything happening between them. William was focused on Maeve. Ganji was focused on Nora. They only interacted when they were in the dorm together, or passing each other on campus. The athletes rarely had time to hang out together or go somewhere outside of their dorms.
Ever since middle school, Ganji swore that William was stuck to him like a leech. Supposedly, the forward got what he wanted, and now he could simply come in and out of his life in gentle silence. Ganji didn’t say anything about it. He didn’t snap. He didn’t argue. It was a matter of when he needed company and when he needed time alone— he should’ve been grateful that William ever stayed this long— so he had no right to complain. But did it make him a bad person to want things to go back to the way they used to?
Ganji understood he wasn’t the only one to have experienced knowing William. He knew other people might’ve studied every crease in the forward’s palm when they held hands or let him caress their face. Other people knew the fiery passion of his kisses and the words he used to get his way. There were probably even people William snuck out for in the middle of a winter night just to apologize to them. To think that all of these events had become memories now and were left in the past.
—
It was unfortunate for Valentine’s Day to fall on a weekday. Ganji had to walk around the campus with his eyes down to avoid staring at the couples being openly affectionate as they brushed past him. He might have been unthrilled to witness the sudden surge in PDA everywhere he went, but deep down, he couldn’t shake off the nerves about going on another date. At least this one would be a little more informal. Ganji believed he would have an easier time settling down in a comfortable environment; the pressure was horrible when he sat down in the restaurant with Evelyn, and everything he did seemed so performative and unnatural. Thankfully, he’s managed to break the ice with Nora by going out with her once beforehand.
When his classes were over, he was able to return to the dorm to settle down and get some work done before it was time to head out. Nora wanted him to come over to her place once her friends left— she said she’d message him whenever the time was right.
Ganji was confined to his desk and sentenced to write a lengthy paper on his laptop. He got to the dorm before William, and Cricket was sleeping when he first got there. The batter’s eyes were glued onto the cat, and it made him silently note to himself that hiding her from the RA during room inspections was going to get increasingly harder; she was growing too fast.
Without needing to worry about any distractions, he slipped a pair of glasses over his nose, connected his headphones, and pulled his chair in closer. Ganji wasn’t extremely concerned with when William would return— if he would come at all, even— but it gave him some peace and quiet to focus on his coursework.
Somehow, the obnoxiously loud clacking of his keyboard never stirred Cricket awake. His headphones muffled all the sound from outside the dorm: the conversations from next door, the footsteps in the corridor, and the click of their door as it eventually creaked open.
William entered the space with his lanyard jingling in his hand, rugby charm resting right in his palm. The first thing he saw upon stepping inside was Ganji at his desk, tapping his finger on his mouse, narrowing his eyes intently, and glancing off to look at the time on his phone. He didn’t notice his roommate.
"What’s up?"
Ganji felt something was odd when his chair leaned back, like someone was weighing down on it. Despite not taking a direct look at William’s face, he already knew he was in the room. His aura was unmistakable. Being so concentrated on the task at hand, Ganji pretended not to see the forward behind him, continuing to type away. William raised an eyebrow at his behavior.
"Gupta, I’m talkin’ to you. Take these damn things off."
William pulled the headphones off his head in one swift move, dangling them in the air. Ganji couldn’t anticipate his action in time and threw his hands up over his ears too late, failing to grab them.
"Hey!" The batter snapped his neck around in frustration. "Give me my fucking—"
William’s eyes widened in fascination upon seeing his face. Ignoring Ganji’s intense glare, his eyes fell upon the glasses sitting on his nose bridge.
"You wear glasses?"
"They’re just blue light. My mom got them for me. Now hurry and—" he swiped his hand forward and snatched the headphones from William’s hand, sliding them back on.
The forward was still curious, though. Even after Ganji persistently ignored him, he leaned over his shoulder, studying his face before observing his screen. His roommate repeatedly pushed his hand against his cheek to nudge him away (without success).
"Go away, man."
"I wanna see what you’re doing."
"Don’t you have a date? Leave me alone already."
"It’s not right now."
"Well, maybe you should get ready early. You aren’t very punctual."
"I am very punctual," William leaned his weight on Ganji’s chair again, making him nearly tip back. His head hovered just above his shoulder, next to his ear.
"Stop bothering me," Ganji mumbled.
"Don’t want to spend time with your dear best friend anymore?"
"Now you’re just twisting my words. I only wanted to finish this paper so I can—"
William squeezed his arm around Ganji’s neck, holding out his other hand with a clenched fist. Before his friend could snap at him again, he relaxed his fingers and opened his palm, uncovering a small cricket keychain with a bat and a ball. The light bounced off the shiny surface, making it glimmer before Ganji’s eyes. He marveled at the small object with morbid curiosity.
"What? What is this?"
"What’s it look like, smart guy?" William used his thumb and index finger to squish Ganji’s cheeks together in a teasing manner, snickering when the man’s face scrunched tightly. "It’s for you. Since you got me something, I wanted you to have a matching one."
The cricketer’s arms didn’t know where to place themselves. Touching the edge of his desk, his hands retracted, hesitated, inched towards William’s hands, hesitated again— a gift, but why so out of the blue, he wondered— he wanted to take it, but he was holding back from something.
He grabbed the entire thing from the forward’s palm, clutching it in his fist before inspecting it up close. It was cold and thin, the design outlined in metal. The design was simple, with no decorative letters and whatnot engraved into it. Had William been thinking about him after all, if it meant he got him something for no reason?
"What is this for?" Ganji inquired.
"It’s for Valentine's Day."
"I’m sor—"
Ganji froze stiff when his friend kissed him on the cheek with a mischievous smirk immediately after. Between rubbing his face clean and punching him in the face, he shoved William’s head away while the forward howled with laughter; it was like a slap in the face to Ganji, the way he thought it was fine to joke around about his feelings that never completely washed away, those feelings he buried so recently and never had a chance to move on from.
"I’m sorry, I’m sorry, man," William tried to hug him in apology. Ganji, with a strained and uncomfortable expression, pushed him away.
"Son of a bitch. Leave me alone and get ready."
"Something you’re forgetting to tell me?"
"Thank you. Now, go."
William patted his shoulder roughly and smacked him a few times for good measure before leaving him be. Ganji almost threw the keychain onto his desk, but he grabbed his keys and clipped the charm onto them. His eyes batted around, glossing over it several times as he tried to refocus on his coursework.
They were never able to define their relationship with each other because of everything that happened. It hurt more than he thought it would, because all Ganji needed was a friend. They became more than that, barely crossing the line between friends and lovers before it all went back to nothing. And it was so easy for William to pretend it was nothing. Why did he treat it like a joke?
His phone buzzed, chiming with a notification for a message from someone. Ganji snapped out of his delirium and calmly picked it up to see that it was something from Nora. Scratching the back of his head, he was hoping to find something to calm his nerves.
N: My roommates are out of the house!! Feel free to come over anytime, just text me when you get here
N: Here’s the address, sorry!!
Ganji replied with a single thumbs-up before he set his phone on his desk, screen down, and shut his laptop. After taking his glasses off, he leaned his head back into his chair to close his eyes and take a breather. At least this time Ganji would have someone to be around when William was going somewhere else with other people, like Maeve.
The batter got up out of his seat and quickly went around the dorm, changing into a white tee, a baseball jacket, and sweats before he slipped on his white shoes. Ganji cleaned himself up and applied some cologne before going to scoop his keys and phone off his desk.
"Where are you going?"
Ganji turned around in response to the sudden question. William had his hair bundled up with some stray locs sticking out, a select few hanging over his face. He wore a grey ribbed tank top with a thick black belt and loose, baggy jeans. His jacket was in his arms, held out in front of him like a meerkat.
".. Nora’s."
"Oh. I forgot," William smiled with a faint laugh, shrugging his jacket on. "What are you doing there?"
"I don’t know. It’s all up to her."
"Are you coming back late?"
Ganji shrugged, a wordless reply. William batted his eyes at him once, turning his back to him to grab his keys, clutching the rugby charm in his palm.
"When are you leaving?" he asked.
"Uh.. now, I guess. I don’t really have anything to do. Cricket’s already fed, right?"
"Yeah."
"I’ll head out, then. See you later. Enjoy your date."
"You too."
Ganji gathered his belongings and walked out the door without a second thought. He treaded a little faster than his usual pace, noticing his hands were shaking uncontrollably when he tried to stuff his keys into his pocket. It could’ve been his nerves, knowing this would be his first actual "date"— not counting the ice skating rink— after the restaurant incident, and the fear of slipping up or being embarrassed made him hesitate. It made him wonder if William ever felt this nervous going out with someone; it never seemed like it with the forward. Ganji wished he had even half the confidence of that guy.
His phone lit up, and he saw the reminder from his calendar app for his plans today. It did make him remember to shoot her a message before he left. Ganji did it as he walked down the hallway, making his way to the staircase. Once it was sent, he took a steady breath as he clung to the railing.
There wasn’t any backing out now.
—
When he came to the house, he was startled by the sheer size of it— just how many people lived here? Ganji, after parking his car in the front, stared up at the sand-colored paneled exterior, the white pillars supporting the house, and the balcony with bright sea-green beach chairs. The neatly trimmed bushes and flowers surrounding the home caught his attention as he approached the door— vibrant with a strong, fresh, floral scent, they were in good shape.
Upon arriving at the door, the batter stared down the wreath with a pink bow hanging there. Ganji smiled softly. He was about to raise his hand to ring the doorbell before it abruptly flew open right before he could react— he stepped back in fear, just to see Nora hopping excitedly.
"Ganji, Ganji, you made it! Oh, come, come, come, come inside, please—" she reached out and grabbed his arm with both hands, effectively yanking (and almost tripping) him inside.
"Jesus, I didn’t think you’d be so happy to see me.."
"Are you kidding? I’ve been looking forward to seeing you. Like— I literally can’t hold back from just—" Nora pinched his cheeks and stretched them out energetically— "I can’t even tell my friends about you, and that just kills me, you know? I want to talk to someone, and tell them what a great guy you are!"
Ganji was too flustered to say anything to her; even if he could, she spoke so fast with a high-pitched voice, he was more concerned about her exploding into a million pieces from pure joy. He prayed she didn’t point out how red he was— her nails were digging into his cheeks.
"You think I’m great?"
"Yeah. You’re amazing. Well, stop stalling, stupid! Take your shoes off and get in!"
Ganji hesitated before he burst out in childish laughter. He did as she instructed, letting Nora take him by his sleeve and give him a tour around the house. It was clean and spacious— the style reminded him of a beach house.
"How many people live here?"
"Six of us."
"Six?" he repeated, incredulous. "Is there really enough space?"
"You’d be surprised."
Nora continued the tour, showing him to the kitchen, living room, and her own room. She had a queen-sized bed to herself! There was a fresh odor upon entering, a spicy, minty fragrance. Ganji studied all the band posters and CDs on her wall in awe.
"This place is really pretty."
"It’s perfect, isn’t it? Oh! I’ll show you the balcony. It’s just outside my room."
Nora opened up the double doors leading to the balcony, walking ahead of Ganji to get fresh air. She turned to face him with an anticipating glance as if to ask, what do you think?
The small town seemed to blur behind Nora the longer Ganji stared at her. He couldn’t see why someone as kind as her would ever be associated with Evelyn. They were nothing alike— the sincerity of her smile made him utterly happy, seeing how round her cheeks got and how her eyes squinted. She could properly look him in the eyes without an ounce of fear.
"Ganji?"
"Yes?" he hastily lifted his head.
"Do you like to bake?"
"Baking? It’s—" he paused— "uhm.. it’s cool."
"Really? Oh, oh, perfect! Do you want to bake some cookies with me? We can eat them and watch a movie or something!"
She was slipping on her words when she talked. Ganji could tell she was genuinely so enthusiastic about hanging out with him, it gave him heartburn. No one else seemed to yearn for his presence this badly— he wasn’t even sure if William compared to this energy.
"Sure. What kind of cookies?"
"Chocolate chip. Okay! Let’s go downstairs!"
"I’ve never painted pottery before, but this looks like something I could get into," Maeve chuckled as they were inside the building looking for something to paint. She and William studied the various clay structures, ranging from ordinary plates and bowls to cute animals. Maeve settled for a simple mug to paint, and William chose—
"A lamb?" she smiled delightfully at the creature he cradled in his palms, naked and colorless.
"Yeah. It speaks to me."
"I can see it."
They sat down at a table and sorted through the different paints they’d use for their work. As they waited for a worker, they chatted for a while. Maeve tapped her nails on her mug, looking up at William.
"I’ve seen this place, but I never got a chance to go here. It’s something I’ve been planning to do for a long time."
"Well, we’re here now. I thought you’d like it— I’m not very artistic, but.. you know, it’s good to give new things a try. How have you been?"
"I’ve been great! My life’s going pretty well. How about you?"
"I’m good."
"How’s Ganji?"
"Ganji?"
The question caught him off guard again, as per usual. Maeve was so considerate, she always asked about his best friend, but he was never prepared for it. What was so hard about responding casually— a simple "he’s fine" would suffice— but something got caught in his throat.
"He’s doing fine," William finally replied.
"Where is he? Is he doing something with Nora for Valentine’s Day?" Maeve, sitting across from him, leaned forward with a curious gleam in her eye. She seemed more interested in their relationship than he was.
"Yeah, he’s with Nora right now. At her house. I’m not sure what they’re doing. I just hope he’s.. fine on his own."
Maeve caught the subtle slip in William’s voice. She leaned back into her seat, concerned.
"On his own?"
"Yeah— I mean, let me be real, I think Nora is great for him, but I’m worried about someone fuckin’ him up again."
"Wait— again? What happened the last time?"
"That bitch—" William closed his eyes and cut himself off— "That.. girl, dammit, it was his first date. He dressed up all nice, they went to a fancy restaurant, and god, he was so damn excited to be going out with someone for the first time. I remember he was just in the dorm with me before he left and it was so clear he couldn’t contain himself."
"Did something go wrong?"
"Pfft, yeah, everything did. She left him right after the food came. Ordered some expensive stuff and didn’t touch a single thing, just said 'I need to use the restroom'—" he mocked Evelyn in a shrill, sarcastic voice, "and easily walked out the door because he was oblivious and she knew that."
"Oh my god, that poor guy. How— how long ago was this?"
"It was a few months ago. I think it haunts him, even to this day. He was so humiliated, everything about him just.. flipped."
William blushed at this statement. He knew the real reason why Ganj’s attitude changed: it was him, not just Evelyn. But he wouldn’t dare admit that to Maeve (or anyone else, for that matter).
"Hey," Maeve slapped her hand on top of his forearm, "who was the girl?"
"It was.."
William paused. He realized he said too much, oversharing about Ganji’s personal situation. On top of that, he remembered that Maeve believed that he and Evelyn were on good terms. If she ever found out it was him who left those marks on Ganji, it could shatter their reputations.
"I don’t know. I forgot who the hell it was."
"Oh.. that’s awful, though. I didn’t know that. Now that I’ve actually met him, he’s really sweet. All those rumors, they don’t seem true anymore. He looks too kind to do anything of the sort."
"That’s what I’ve been saying. He’s so much more than what people think."
They dropped silent when the worker returned with their supplies, leaving their paint on the table. Maeve and William each picked up a brush, deciding on their base coat.
"For the record," she dipped her brush into a vibrant red paint, studying her mug to map out her design, "I think Nora is doing an amazing job at helping him. He looks a lot better. He’s happy."
William swallowed his words down— whatever comment he had was unnecessary in the moment. It felt like a pit of shame was growing in his stomach. Ganji truly didn’t show any signs of being happier until she came around, it was true. With William, he always made the cricketer feel a constant up-and-down.
"I want them to do well. I know he wants the same, too. He wants me off his ass so badly," William smirked.
"Let him figure things out on his own."
"Sure, sure. Anyways, what’cha paintin’ on your thing?"
"Cricket looking through a window."
"Man.. I’ll cherish that mug for as long as I live."
Maeve chewed her lip and smiled big. William petted the clay lamb with his hand, feeling over the smooth and bumpy texture. And even if their relationship constantly waned, Ganji always influenced him.
Baking cookies with Nora was probably the most tranquil experience he had ever had in his life. It wasn’t stressful, overstimulating, or infuriating. He felt like he belonged in this environment because Nora made him feel like it was all right to be around her.
Ganji only ever had to stop her from eating the entire bowl of raw cookie dough (for her safety and the portions), no matter how much she protested.
"You should try it too, you know!" Nora picked up a spoon and scooped up a small piece, holding it towards him.
"I— fine, but stop eating the cookie dough. Aren’t you scared of getting salmonella?"
"Salmonella should be scared of me. What are you worried about? Eat."
Nora jammed the spoon into his mouth, and they snickered quietly as he ate it and continued baking. Ganji scooped the dough into equal-sized balls onto a baking sheet and slowly slid them into an oven. When he closed it up, he realized Nora had disappeared from behind him. His heart sank instinctively, but it hurriedly picked itself up when she stood up straight, emerging from behind the couch in the living room. The girl was turning the TV on.
"I’m gonna turn on something to watch while we wait for those," she switched through a list of movies with a hand on her hip, "what kind of movies do you like?"
"You can choose anything. I don’t really mind."
Ganji took off his jacket and slung it over a chair. He checked his phone as a reference for how much time the cookies needed before heading over to sit with Nora.
She did end up picking something— "When Life Gives You Tangerines", a K-drama he wasn’t familiar with. Nora cut the lights so the kitchen and the TV were the only things illuminating the house before toppling into the spot next to Ganji.
"I haven’t watched this before, but it’s been all over my recommendations. Do you like K-dramas?"
"I’ve never watched them."
"Hey! This can be your first! I heard it’s so good, people cry on the first episode— even after finishing it, it just totally left them in tears for a while."
"Sounds serious.."
For the first episode, Ganji was startled to see how bad the female lead’s situation was at such a young age. He could see from his peripheral vision that Nora was repeatedly glancing his way to see if he liked it. At some point, Ganji returned the look and smiled. She lit up with joy.
Nora layered herself in blankets and a pillow, already wrapped up like a caterpillar. Ganji had his arm resting on the back of the sofa with his fist pressed against his cheek, one leg up on the cushion. He was so engrossed in the movie that it took him a moment to notice that Nora was whispering his name.
"Yeah?"
"Have you dated anyone?"
"No," he replied calmly. "I’ve never dated anyone."
"Gone on a date?"
"If you count what happened with Evelyn, I guess. But this is my first real one."
Nora nodded her head with sympathy.
"I like you a lot. I’m sure she’s missing out because she doesn’t see what a cool person you are."
Ganji didn’t change his expression, but his cheeks slowly faded into a bright red. He fidgeted with his hands, sitting up taller.
"Thanks. What about you?"
"Oh," she visibly saddened. "I.."
An alarm went off on Ganji’s phone, making them both jump out of fear. He disabled it immediately and stared at her awkwardly, easing when she rolled onto her back— still curled up in a blanket— and laughed heartily.
"I’ll go check on the cookies."
Ganji got up and entered the kitchen, putting on mitts that Nora had left out earlier to remove the cookies from the oven. His hand trembled at the wave of heat, but he composed himself to avoid looking insane in front of her. He set the tray on the stovetop to cool.
Turning around, he leaned forward on the kitchen counter, opting to talk to her from here.
"You were saying?"
Nora was quiet. The movie was still rolling. Ganji wondered if he had messed up and said something that ruined the mood again. He bit his lip, hoping it’d be easy to dismiss the topic.
"If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine—"
"No, I don’t mind. I dated this guy, but I was peer-pressured into it. I wish I had the strength to say no back then. I hated his guts, and I hope he’s rotting in the pits of hell right now. I couldn’t give a shit about him anymore, now that I can finally live without fear."
Nora’s current demeanor was so unlike her, it was terrifying to Ganji. She turned cold— he’d even noticed that she rose, letting the blanket fall around her shoulders. He waited, because he didn’t want to push her to say more, but he wasn’t sure what else to say.
"I hope you don’t mind if I rant a little," Nora turned to him with a warm smile.
"Go ahead. I’m listening."
"It’s been a few years, and I’m so glad I’m free, but I can’t act like it’s something I can forget— even if I want to, I deserve to have people know what I had to go through, everything I endured. He was the worst man I’ve ever met."
"What did he do to you?"
"What didn’t he do? He was abusive," Nora stopped to pause the movie, which was droning on in the background. "He wasn’t hitting me or anything— not that much, anyway— but he said these hurtful things, it trapped me in the relationship for a long time."
"Oh, god. I’m so sorry."
"He threatened to kill himself if I left him. I always believed it was my job to make him better, I couldn’t leave someone in need. And you know what? The shit he said to me, it did get to my head. He could say whatever he wanted to me, because he knew I didn’t have the heart to leave him."
"Sounds like a pain in the ass."
"Uh-huh! And get this— hey, by the way, are the cookies done?"
"Hm? Uh, yeah, they should— they should be cooled off. I’ll get those. Keep talking," Ganji checked the cookies before grabbing a spatula to move them to a plate.
"Yeah— but, like I was saying, he was always seeing other girls, and he was really open about it. He knew I knew. That bastard! I couldn’t believe him! He could just— just go around fucking any girl as he pleased, and if I even looked in the general direction of another man, he’d blow up on me!"
"Talk about double standards. But I’m glad you got yourself out of that situation now," Ganji mumbled. He brought the cookies over to the living room, leaving to grab some milk before sitting down next to her. The batter held up a cookie and bumped her shoulder gently, trying to offer it to her.
"Right?" Nora scoffed, shortly before beaming at him and thanking him for the food. "I’m glad he died."
Ganji was about to eat his cookie before he widened his eyes, flabbergasted. He closed his mouth, observing the soft expression on her face, wondering if she was joking. Nora smiled, and that told him enough— it was the truth.
This is getting really heavy, and I’ve only been here for an hour or so, Ganji thought to himself. He didn’t know what to do. She trusted him enough to tell him her story, so the least he could do was make her feel acknowledged like she deserved to be.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"What.. happened?"
"He died in a fire. He played cricket at the Queen’s Guard— supposedly the place unexpectedly lit up in flames one day, and—"
"Stop, wait," Ganji threw his cookie down, and it broke in half upon crashing onto the plate. Nora flinched at his sudden move. The batter hesitated, curling his fingers and clenching his hands into fists.
"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just— did you say the Queen’s Guard?"
"Yeah, that was the place. I think that was the name, at least," she bit her cookie and drank down some milk, slowly raising her head after seeing how pale Ganji looked. "You okay?"
"Who was this guy?"
Nora told him his name. The cricketer couldn’t muster a word. He let out a mortified sigh— some kind of choked-up sound— and she recognized what was happening to him. Nora connected the dots: his cricket keychain, the scars on him, his reluctance around fire— of course. She haphazardly pulled him into a hug, holding her hand over the back of his head.
"I didn’t know, I’m so sorry, Ganji. You were there, weren’t you?"
"It happened years ago. I’ve moved on."
"You think it’s that easy to lie to me?" She held his face in her hands.
"I’m not trying to, but this is too much to share so early on when we still hardly know each other that well. It’s not normal for me."
"I trust you. I can tell what kind of person you are; that’s why I don’t mind opening up to you."
Ganji wasn’t going to cry. But her love for him was so overwhelming, he gave in and rested his head against her shoulder as she combed her fingers through his hair. This warmth that radiated from her, felt like his mother’s love all over again.
"Didn’t Evelyn tell you what was wrong with me?" Ganji shuddered.
"Why does it matter what other people think about you? What good will it ever do for you to let others dictate the kind of person you are? That’s something only you can decide for yourself," Nora lifted his head. The batter wasn’t crying, but his eyes looked so downcast that she felt the need to kiss him on his scar.
"What if I disappoint you?"
"You won’t. You’ve already helped me. I feel like you’re the guy I’ve been waiting for."
The comment spurred an unsettling feeling in his heart. Commitment, was that what she was implying? Ganji completely forgot, they weren’t even dating yet, he never asked her out— was he supposed to clarify?
"Nora?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I—" he froze, words dying on his tongue before he had a chance to think— "Can I just say that.. I’m incredibly grateful to have you here?"
"You know I’ll always be here when you need me. I won’t be going anywhere soon!"
"I’ll do whatever I can for you."
Nora giggled cheerfully and lifted his head back up when he tried to look away nervously. With her palm on his cheek, Ganji smiled back.
"Ganji, the cookies are gonna get cold."
"Sorry."
"It’s nothing to worry about! Let’s watch the movie a little longer."
Ganji sprawled out onto the couch and leaned into Nora until he was resting on top of her body. She drummed her fingers against his back as the show resumed. The batter could’ve fallen asleep in her lap if it wasn’t for the severe pain and sorrow in his heart for the young protagonist, suffering from injustice and inequality in her life as she yearned for her mother. It almost made him want to call his own mom.
Surprisingly, she seemed to beat him to it. Ganji’s phone went off right as he was dozing off. He carefully got off the couch and moved out of the living room to an isolated area to answer the call. It was unusual for his mother to call him directly. He couldn’t think of a single reason why she’d need to talk to him so badly; Ganji finally called back he had privacy.
"Hello? Maa?"
"Ganji.. oh, Ganji.."
It rattled him to hear his mother near weeping. Her voice was drowning in anguish, and she could hardly speak a proper word of English through her tears. The cricketer cradled his phone with both hands, picking up on the urgency of the situation.
"Maa? Maa, what happened? What’s wrong?"
"Baba.. your father, something happened to him.. he’s in the hospital, and he’s not doing good," she explained.
"What? What happened to him? How bad? How did you know about this?"
"Your aunt called."
Ganji bit his lip, stressed about the fact that she only answered one of his questions.
"What— what do we do? How can we help? Maa—" he lowered his voice before he could hear himself on the brink of tears— "is he awake?"
"No, not now."
"Are we going to see him?"
"I don’t know yet, dear. I’ll let you know later. Okay? Take care of yourself first. Your aunt is updating me regularly."
Ganji was petrified. The call ended, but he could hear a gentle ringing in his ears before it gradually became deafening. His head swelled so badly, and there was a dull pain in his temples that made him want to bash his head into a brick wall. There was a thin, glassy coat over his eyes, and the batter didn’t dare to blink or move his head to avoid letting the tears roll down his face.
Ganji kept his eyes glued to the floor, questioning the legitimacy of what his mother told him; he knew she wasn’t lying, but it hurt to think about how this would affect his family. Both his mother and his father sacrificed so much to secure a future for their children here. Ganji could hardly imagine the insurmountable heartbreak that it’d bring to his mother if his father truly died.
"Ganji?" Nora’s voice echoed from the hallway. He swiftly patted his sleeve to his eyes and took a breather before going towards her.
"Yeah?"
"Everything alright?"
"No problem. Just my mom."
Nora studied his face one more time. Ganji nearly cracked from the silence alone— his heartbeat was too loud, and he wondered if she could hear it from where she was standing. Before he could fold from the pressure in the room, she smiled softly.
"Okay. There are still some cookies. Do you want them?" Nora extended her hand out. "Otherwise, I’ll gladly eat all of them."
Ganji blinked hard. His eyes were still watering, but hearing her speak to him in a comforting voice, he softened up and grinned.
"No, I want some. Let’s go back."
When it was time for him to go back, he hugged Nora goodbye and retreated to his car. Upon entering the driver’s seat, he slammed the door shut and stared at his steering wheel. After such a good day, he felt hollow. The emptiness didn’t go away— as a matter of fact, it grew bigger.
Ganji didn’t know when he started crying again. His body was frozen. He never smashed his head against the wheel and bawled violently, nor did he throw his hands over his eyes and scratch at his face. The batter merely sat in his car, hands fidgeting in his lap, tears streaming down his cheeks, and dripping onto his pants.
His face was so tight. His stomach and chest hurt. The nauseous was incomprehensible. Ganji questioned his existence at that very moment— was he doomed to a life-long game of cat-and-mouse, trying to run away from the inevitable truth just to be dragged back to where it all began? When he got close to getting better, it fell apart. It took the push of one domino— the Queen’s Guard— to cause the collapse of many others.
They stripped him of his humanity and made sure it’d haunt him for the rest of his life, everywhere he went. In the shadows, the spirits of his deceased teammates would be there, a constant reminder that he never deserved to live.
Ganji sniffled and inhaled sharply, rubbing his face clean. Just as he started his car, his phone buzzed again. He mentally prepared himself, in case it was his mom delivering more bad news. Staring at Nora’s driveway, he fumbled around and picked up his phone from the cup holder.
William.
Ganji could feel the life in him withering away. William, of course it was. He let the phone ring once or twice, before reluctantly picking up.
"Hey, Ganji!"
".. Hi."
"Where’re you at, man? Maeve and I just got back."
"I’m in the car."
"Gotcha. You know how long it’ll take for you to come home?"
".. I don’t know."
"You.. you okay?"
"Yeah. I’ll be back soon."
"You sure? Hey, Ganji, did something happen again?"
"Bye."
Ganji hung up immediately. If he continued any longer, he would’ve lost his composure and cried over the phone. It was pointless now; William caught on, and he’d most likely pester him when he got back home. Unavoidable now.
William ran his hand down Cricket’s back and snickered at her shoving her entire face into the wet food he prepared for her. Squatting down in the kitchen, he frequently peeked over to check the front door, waiting for Ganji to return. The forward prayed he was safe— he sounded unwell. He couldn’t help but speculate that Nora did something.. the thought crossed his mind several times, but seeing her, she didn’t look like the kind of girl to do that.
Looks can be deceiving, William thought, countering himself. He’d definitely ask Ganji more when he got home. The least William could do for his friend was to support him through everything.
With a loud huff, he stood up again, taking the mug Maeve painted for him. William took a long swig of the hot tea he prepared for himself, glancing at the lamb he painted as well. He set it on the kitchen counter for some cute decor, but it wasn’t the most gorgeous thing ever. It didn’t change the fact that it still looked so stinkin’ cute, and how it reminded him of his friend.
Just as he set the tea down on the counter and crouched down to pet Cricket, there was a familiar click at the door, followed by the sound of someone’s body pushing against it. Cricket and her owner looked up together, both crawling out of the kitchen to see who was inside.
"Ganji," William got back on his feet, walking over to him. Cricket followed and meowed at the batter, trying to push her face against his ankles.
"Cricket, no, Cricket!— fuck, she stinks—" Ganji groaned, picking up the cat with one arm and carrying her back to the kitchen. He completely ignored William, but the forward followed him anyway.
"Ganji, are you alright?"
Ganji walked past him again. He moved his arm out of the way to avoid shouldering William, but he hardly acknowledged his presence. He stopped the batter by firmly grabbing his shoulder, digging his fingers into it. The suddenness of his action made Ganji jolt in fear, and William was immediately flooded with guilt.
"Ganji."
Ganji was silent.
"Ganji."
William shook him softly. Ganji’s body swayed, but he was motionless. He hardly moved an inch, not even bothering to turn his head over his shoulder. The forward, feeling hopeless, moved his hand down his roommate’s arm. William reached for his wrist.
Ganji opened his mouth and made a startled gasp, lifting his wrist and pushing William’s hand away. The forward persisted, grabbing him by his shoulders and swiveling him around to face him.
"Ganji, what’s wrong? Something happened, right? You’re acting weird again," William lowered his voice, whispering loud enough to be heard. He attempted to get a look at the batter’s face, but he was avoiding eye contact. His eyes were red and swollen.
"Ganji, talk to me. Ganji. Ganji, please. I want to help you. Ganji, look at me. Why won’t you— what happened?" William moved his hands and lifted Ganji’s chin— or tried to. They managed to touch his jaw before the other backed away, shoving his hands out of his face.
"I don’t want to talk," Ganji muttered.
"That— that’s.. fine, I guess, but.. Ganji, I’m here if you really need to talk. I’m your best friend, dude. I want to be here for you."
Ganji hummed, nodding weakly. William hated the look in his eyes. Those clouded, brooding eyes he recalled seeing a light in. They were a bottomless pit, devoid of all happiness. Most nights, when Ganji was angry and upset, William stared at his back when he slept, wondering how he was going to save him. Wondering how he was going to make him happier.
The batter shook his head when the forward stepped towards him to pull him in a hug. He didn’t want to see him. He was maybe the last person Ganji felt like seeing right now. His head was pounding now from the suffocation in the room. Wincing, Ganji walked away, throwing his phone and keys on his desk. He disappeared behind the bathroom door, shutting it gently and locking it behind him. All William heard was a heavy exhale, cursing to himself with a trembling voice.
Cricket scratched at the bathroom door— William forgot about her. He was on his way to move her before a notification pinged from someone’s phone.
Ganji’s screen lit up, buzzing again.
William inspected the device, narrowing his eyes to read what the message said (out of his own curiosity; he couldn’t help but take a peek).
N: Hey, I hope you got back safe. Thanks for hanging out with me today. I’d love to do it again, whenever we’re both free.
N: I’m sorry for bringing that thing up earlier. But if it means anything to you, I don’t think it was your fault, and I’m not afraid of you. So don’t think you’ll scare me off so soon !!
N: Have a good night, and sleep well, Ganji !!!!
.. So, she did say something.
William turned the phone off, flipping it face down.
Notes:
Take it, and go.. take my WillGanji slop. Do you like how I drag the same shit on forever…. yes…. eat it up now.. (i promise i have a plan laid out for this story)
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