Chapter Text
Chat Noir stood frozen, blood pumping in his chest and head as he stared at the unmasked Hawk Moth. His own father. His breath came rapidly as he struggled with the facts in front of him.
“Are you okay Chat?” He heard Ladybug call, but he couldn’t even respond to her. He felt like everything in his life made sense and yet didn’t at the same time. He had been living with a terrorist. His own father. Chat had let his father’s words fall on deaf ears as he felt Ladybug’s hand grip his shoulder.
“Kitty? It’s over. We won. Shall we regroup and head to our spot?” He felt her lean into him and while he was afraid to move, he tried to take in the feeling of her being there. His Ladybug. He knew he was staring, as he breathed in and out trying to calm himself.
“Chat? Did you hear me, are you okay?”
Chat felt himself break free from his inner turmoil as he tried to respond. He knew she was waiting on him to respond.
“Yeah, Um, yeah. Recharge. I … need to do that… you… see you later.” He knew he barely made sense, but it was the best he could do in the situation. As Ladybug watched him, he felt himself turn and bolt away with his baton. He didn’t know where he was going, he didn’t want to think about where he was going as the police raided the basement of his house. Up until they unmasked him, Chat didn’t want to believe it was possible, but as soon as Ladybug had the Butterfly, it was like all air had been sucked from Chat. He launched around the house and into his open window calling off his transformation as he hit his bed. As the police rushed into the room, Adrien felt himself being grabbed and restrained. He didn’t fight back, there was no point. His father was a terrorist and by association, he was just as guilty.
“Adrien Agreste, you are being placed into custody. Your father has been unmasked as the villain Hawk Moth. You have the following rights.” Adrien knew them, he’d heard them before as Chat. While he never thought he’d be hearing them for himself, Adrien allowed the police to handcuff him, telling him a child services worker would be called. As he was led out of the building, he could see Ladybug swing off into the distance, his heart torn as he knew she would be heading to the Trocadero. Their spot, where they were supposed to reveal their identities. As he was placed in the back of the police car, Adrien knew then that nothing would be the same. He could never tell Ladybug who he was, or how much he screwed up by allowing his father to terrorize the city under his watch. He allowed a tear to slip down his cheek as they took the slow drive to the police station.
***
Adrien gripped his wrists as he left the police station the next day. While he wasn’t completely out of the clear, they had released him into his aunt’s custody who had hurried from England to get him. Since he was nearly 18, his aunt had graciously said he would be allowed to stay in Paris if he wished, but Adrien hadn’t made up his mind. His aunt had already left, but he and his bodyguard were escorted to his home, his now former home, to allow the young Agreste to collect some of his personal items. Adrien really didn’t care about most of it, he grabbed his important things, pictures of his mother, a few gifts that Ladybug had given him and the few pictures he had allowed himself to keep hidden under his mattress.
It was nearly dark, as they headed to the hotel that his aunt had booked for him. He looked out into the sky until he noticed the gardens in the distance causing his eyes to go wide and he called up front to his bodyguard.
“Wait! Can we go past the Trocadero please?” Adrien heard the grunt as his bodyguard moved to turn toward the Trocadero and when they parted, Adrien hurried out of the car and up the steps. He could just make out the red figure on the building and as she threw the yo-yo launching herself off the building, Adrien felt something in him snap. He glanced down at the ring and when he heard Plagg whisper, “Go to her kid. She’s left you a bunch of messages.” Adrien nearly ripped the ring off his finger.
***
Every night after his bodyguard was asleep, Adrien found himself sneaking out of the hotel. While he had refused to transform, Adrien had made his way to the Trocadero hoping to see her and every day that he did, he knew he was slowly breaking. Plagg was constantly reminding him of her messages and Adrien didn’t want to hear it. There was no way to meet up with her and explain why he no longer wanted to share his identity. There was no way to explain just how broken he was. So, he sat night after night in the gardens below their spot watching her. He’d heard her cry a few times, that he was certain, but nothing would stop Adrien from making the choices he was now.
He watched as she stood on the edge, Yo-yo in hand as the sun set and as she threw her yo-yo to the next building, Adrien dropped to his knees letting his tears hit the pavement.
“Kid.” Came the whisper from his pocket, “Don’t do this to yourself. Go see your Bug.”
“I’m not worthy of her Plagg. I never was. It was a mistake to choose me to be your holder.” Adrien whispered and as he stood, he took a deep breath, “Plagg. You must NEVER tell her who I am. She can never know. Do you understand me?”
Plagg looked sad and Adrien knew his Kwami was probably going to be disappointed no matter what Adrien’s choice was. Letting his cheeks be coated with his salty tears, Adrien headed back to the hotel. He had already made his choice to leave to head to live with his aunt in London the next day.
***
Adrien stood at the base of the Trocadero holding a piece of paper folded in an envelope. He had reminded Plagg never to speak his name to his Lady and as he removed the ring from his finger and stuck it in the envelope, he hand the entire packet to his only friend.
“I’m sorry, Plagg. Please leave it up there where she can find it. I hope you can forgive me.” Adrien whispered, as the little black Kwami grabbed the envelope and flew up towards the building Adrien was almost sure he heard the Kwami’s own cry. Adrien couldn’t see him land, nor could he see him disappear into it, but Adrien knew his Lady would find it and that she would never forgive him.
Adrien hated himself in that moment, but after everything with his father, Adrien felt like he deserved that hatred. So, he left the Trocadero walking as he let himself cry over his lost life and lost love. He knew someday his Lady would find someone worthy of her, and he’d just be Adrien. Former model, former son and former hero.
As he crossed the seine to the Eiffel Tower, he heard the soft spring of the yo-yo as Ladybug flew past. He watched her go, knowing he would have completely broken her heart. He crossed past the Eiffel Tower, seeing the new ‘art’ that covered some of his ads. His father’s ads and Adrien knew it was time to leave Paris. No longer with a house or a home, Adrien could see his bodyguard car waiting for him in the distance. He only wished he could have heard her voice one last time.