Chapter 1: A Genius Foolproof Plan
Chapter Text
“Heeeello, hello, hello Stolas," Blitz calls out as he scales the palace fence. He catches sight of Stolas scowling before hiding his face behind whatever nerdy book he's reading.
Blitz chooses to ignore that, flashing Stolas a smile as he starts to climb down the wall.
"You have — AH!” he cries out as he slips straight down and crashes into the plant life below. He casually extracts himself from the carnivorous plant that latched on to his foot as he goes on, "You haven't been answering my texts, and I — SHIT!”
He curses as his foot now catches on a plant vine. Blitz attempts to untangle himself, but the vine pulls at his leg like they're playing some cutesy tug-of-war game. “This ain’t playtime, you freaky little plant shit! Leggo!”
Blitz hears Stolas’ tired sigh before the owl asks, “What is it you want, Blitz?" The irritation in Stolas’ tone stings, but once again Blitz ignores it, intent on barreling forward with his objective to get the prince into bed and return some normalcy to their dynamic.
"I wanna — AH! Fuck!” he cries out as the vine finally lets him go by shoving him towards the pool. The force of it is strong and sends Blitz flying back much harder than he anticipates. He loses his footing and feels his head slam into the concrete edge of the pool so hard that his vision blurs.
His ears are ringing and he vaguely registers that he's fallen into the water as his vision begins to darken. Just before he blacks out completely he thinks, ‘Can’t believe I'm about to fuckin’ die just cause I couldn't quit that birdpuss.’
~~~
Blitz regains consciousness to the sound of Stolas' panicked voice repeating his name over and over again. Not exactly how he wanted to hear Stolas crying his name tonight, but none of this was going to plan so far, was it? After all, Blitz hadn't expected to get tangled in a wrestling match with murderous plant life.
”Blitz? Blitzy? Blitz, can you hear me? Oh that fall was just horrible, but at least you're breathing, I just… Wait, what am I doing? I need to get you to a hospital immediately!”
“Noooope! Do not take me to some bitch-ass doctor, ‘M fine… So fine,” Blitz pipes up, the slur in his voice betraying him.
“You are most certainly not! Darling, please. You really should be examined by a medical professional, just to be certain there’s no lasting damage,” Stolas insists.
Blitz’s vision finally clears and he sees a look of soft concern on Stolas' face, his white pupils visible. His hands feel so gentle where they cradle Blitz’s face.
And Blitz must be the most pathetic being in all of hell because his first thought is… this is nice. It's nice to see Stolas looking at him like this instead of scowling or, worse, crying.
Even more pathetic is the yearning he feels to go back to how things used to be between them. Everything had been so much simpler before last night. And before that shitbag Striker had attacked. And before Ozzie's. At least back then, Blitz had known exactly where he stood with the prince.
And just like that, an ingenious idea hits him harder than his head had hit the cement. Maybe this was his perfect chance to get a do-over.
“Who the fuck’re you?" he blurts out, “And who do you think you're calling "darling”... darlin’," Blitz still doesn't even have to fake the slur in his voice. Maybe that hit to the noggin really did fuck him up more than he realized.
Stolas looks confused. “Oh my, you really are dazed, aren’t you?" He shakes his head as he gathers Blitz into his arms and lifts him effortlessly. “I suppose it's not surprising, that was quite a dreadful fall. I still think you should go to the hospital, but let's get you dry first."
He sets Blitz down gently into the lounge chair before grabbing a towel and wrapping it around the imp’s shoulders. Blitz tugs the towel tighter around himself, not that it does much good. He's soaked from head to toe, and not in a sexy way.
“Are you dizzy? Nauseous? Your pupils look dilated and I don't think that's a good sign,” Stolas continues to fret.
Ok, the bird obviously wasn't buying the amnesia act, so Blitz figures he’ll have to ham it up some more.
“Looook, maybe I'm hell’s biggest dipshit for questioning why the sexy bird with legs for days is doting on me, but this is really starting to freak me the fuck out," Blitz says. “So I’ll repeat the question. Who. The fuck. Are you?!”
Stolas doesn’t reply immediately, instead staring at Blitz with clear confusion. So Blitz goes on, “And while we’re at it, where the fuck is this??” He gestures wildly to the scenery around them to punctuate his question.
”Blitz, I — This isn’t funny,” Stolas finally replies, looking wary.
”Trust me sweetcheeks, you’ll know when I’m being funny. I’ve got jokes that’ll get a crowd pissing themselves,” Blitz lies, flashing Stolas a confident smile.
”Yes, I know you do,” Stolas agrees with a small smile, throwing Blitz completely off his groove. Luckily he’s saved from replying as Stolas kneels down next to him, looking concerned again. “You’re being serious? You really don’t remember who I am?”
Bingo. He’s got him fooled.
“I meeeean, you do look kind of familiar,” Blitz admits, playing it up and pretending to study Stolas’ face. Blitz only needs to rewind the clock a little. He doesn’t need Stolas thinking they have no connection at all. That just sounds like a quick way to get kicked back to the curb. So he figures it's best to pretend to remember him a little. “Especially the four red eyes… Oh SHIT, Stolas?!"
“That’s right!” Stolas exclaims, clearly excited. Blitz secretly basks in a feeling of triumph. Damn, he's good. He already has Stolas eating out of the palm of his hand.
Blitz feigns surprise as he shamelessly looks Stolas up and down. “Well damn, you sure grew up into a tall drink of water, didn't ya?”
That startles a hooting laugh out of Stolas. And Blitz doesn't miss the slight flush on his cheeks. “Oh, I don't know about all that," Stolas says modestly. "You, ah — you recall our meeting when we were children, then? Do you remember anything else?”
Here it was. This was Blitz’s chance. All he had to do was give Stolas the opportunity, and he was sure the prince wouldn’t be able to resist working up some new kind of arrangement to have his rugged imp coming around to regularly rail him into his mattress again.
“Now that you mention it, I am getting a flash of somethin’,” Blitz begins, putting a hand to his head as though he could feel the memory surfacing. “It’s fuzzy, but… I remember seeing you… underneath me… wearing a… leather harness and ball gag? Woooah, why the fuck would I remember that?"
Blitz has to fight to keep a straight face as he gives Stolas an inquisitive look. Stolas blushes and starts to sputter.
”Oh! W-well, you see —“
”Yeees?” Blitz leans closer to the stuttering bird.
“That is, well it — it’s not exactly surprising because —" Stolas laughs nervously.
“Because…?” Blitz urges him on, grinning as he leans even closer.
This was it, his ticket back in.
“Because I’m your boyfriend, of course!”
Blitz loses his balance and falls over.
Stolas practically squawks in surprise, quickly gathering Blitz up and setting him back on the chair. “C-careful, darling! You must still be quite dizzy, after all.”
“Ho oh yeah,” Blitz laughs, “I must still be waterlogged or some shit, ‘cause I thought I heard you say you were my boyfriend. That’s fuckin’ rich!" He barks out another laugh at the ridiculous notion. Because that’s what it was. Fucking ridiculous.
Stolas doesn’t appear to get the joke. He actually has the nerve to look hurt. “And why is that so hard to believe?”
Blitz looks at him dumbfounded as he gestures between the pair of them, because it should be pretty fucking obvious without him having to explain it.
Apparently it is not, because Stolas stands up and crosses his arms, pouting. “Really? Is the idea of being in a relationship with me so unappealing that it’s laughable?”
Blitz just barely resists the urge to facepalm. “Satan’s hairy ballsack, NO!” His mouth moves faster than his brain as he starts ranting, “What’s laughable is the prince who lounges by the pool in his sexy little robe saying he’s in a relationship with a shitty — ugh with me.”
Okay, things were getting toooo real now. Blitz considers calling Stolas out on his stupid fucking lie, but then he’d have to reveal the whole amnesia thing was also bullshit and… he didn’t want to do that. At least not yet.
”… You think the robe looks sexy?” Stolas asks in quiet amazement as he looks down at himself.
”For fuck’s sake — I mean, who wouldn’t?”
Stolas coughs out an anxious little laugh and when he looks back at Blitz, it’s with such a painfully earnest expression. "I don't think you're shitty at all, you know. Actually, I think you're wonderful.”
Blitz has to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Oh yeah, right, suuure. He's really been Mr. Wonderful.
A silence stretches between them before Stolas finally breaks it with a hesitant tone, "Look, I know this is a lot. Given you have no memory of our time together, I don't expect you to have any obligation to me.”
Shiiiiiit. Barely five minutes and he was already getting fake dumped. Great going, dipshit. But maybe Blitz could still salvage this situation.
Stolas takes a breath like he's gathering himself and Blitz uses the opportunity to interrupt him. ”You know, maybe there’s a way we could help jog my memory,” he suggests as he rises from the lounge chair, flinging the towel behind him. He starts advancing towards Stolas.
”O-oh? What do you have in mind?” Stolas asks, a nervous edge in his voice as he moves backwards for every step Blitz takes towards him. Blitz keeps moving forward until the back of Stolas’ legs hit the table behind him.
His hands are on those thighs in an instant, just beneath the hem of that robe. Blitz’s tail snaps back and forth in excitement as soon as he feels those soft feathers. “Weeell, if we do something my body’s familiar with, maybe it’ll all start comin’ back to me. Like muscle memory or some shit, right?”
Blitz starts to trail his hands up Stolas’ legs and he hears the owl’s breath hitch. He sees those white pupils appear and the blatant desire is written all over Stolas’ face. Blitz’s eyes light up. There it is! He knew Stolas still wanted him.
… Wanted his dick, that is. Yeah, that’s definitely what Stolas is after, a good dicking down. And Blitz is going to give it to him.
But then Stolas’ hands reach down to cover his own, gently holding them in place. “While I appreciate the, mm — enthusiasm,” Stolas begins with a nervous chuckle, “I doubt you should be engaging in ah, strenuous activity after suffering such a severe head injury.”
“Bitch, please! I'm fine! It’ll take a lot more than a little bump on the head to keep me down," Blitz assures him.
Stolas looks unimpressed, so Blitz presses in closer and leers up at him. "How about I show you just how long I can go — AH! Shiiiit!” Blitz hisses and flinches as Stolas reaches out to press his fingers over the injured spot on the imp's head.
Stolas has the audacity to look smug about it. “You were saying?"
"I'm saying that maybe a good fuck is all we need to solve this problem!” Blitz persists, though he physically backs off and gives Stolas some space. "I mean, that's what boyfriends do and shit, so —!” He could feel himself rapidly running out of ways to argue this proposition.
Stolas bites his bottom lip, a light flush on his cheeks as he seems to think Blitz’s words over. Finally he kneels down so they're closer to eye level. "Given your lack of memories, I believe it's best if we take this slow. We should take the time to get to know one another again, to see if — If you still have feelings for me.”
Blitz resists the urge to scoff. He does not understand why Stolas is still going on about all this feelings bullshit. There was just no way someone like him could ever truly care for a… well, care for him.
But maybe he can work with this. All he has to do is take Stolas out on a crappy date or two and fuck his brains out. Then the delusion that Blitz is worth anything more than a good fucking will fade and they can go back to being fuck buddies with benefits or whatever.
It's genius, it's foolproof. Blitz takes approximately two seconds to think about it and decides there's absolutely no way this could backfire whatsoever. Stolas is starting to look dejectedly at the ground, so there's no time to waste.
“Alrighty then, let's get to know each other," he agrees. Stolas' head snaps up, his eyes wide with surprise. "I’ll take ya out. How's tomorrow night sound?”
"Out on a date?" Stolas asks quietly, sounding a little breathless.
Blitz rolls his eyes but grins. “No, out with my gun," he jokes. “Yeah no shit out on a date. Pick you up at eight tomorrow, peaches?" He reaches over to pinch Stolas' cheek affectionately, if only to get him to stop gaping so weirdly.
The pinch makes Stolas laugh and his smile becomes so brilliant that Blitz has to look away. He can't afford to find an excuse to chickenshit out of this ordeal. He's going to make this fake amnesia bullshit worth it.
"Eight tomorrow sounds perfect,” Stolas says as he stands up.
Blitz grins. Oh it’ll be perfect, alright. Stolas is going to be SO damn disappointed.
~~~
Although it's far from perfect, Stolas is SO unbelievably elated.
After their agreement to go on a date tomorrow night, Stolas tries to convince Blitz once again to go see a doctor, but he continues to refuse. His stubbornness would be admirable in a different situation, but in this case, it's only frustrating.
It worries Stolas how casually Blitz is regarding such sudden and extreme memory loss, but he still concedes in the end. At least Blitz allows Stolas to portal him and his van directly in front of his apartment so the prince doesn't have to worry about him getting in an accident on the drive home.
Stolas sighs wearily as he collapses into the poolside chair. He catches sight of Verosika’s invitation on the table and picks it up, glad that Blitz hadn't noticed it.
“I suppose I won't be needing this anymore…” He muses aloud, his gut churning with guilt. Not that he'd ever indulge in such silly nonsense anyway.
Truly, he feels terrible about his panicked lie that he's Blitz’s boyfriend. He just ended the transactional nature of their relationship because he wants something real… And now he's found himself right back in a new comfortable lie.
Oh but this lie is so much more tempting, isn’t it? It's everything he could ever want. Stolas is so helplessly weak, he can't bear to admit his falsehood to Blitz. At least, not yet.
Because perhaps this is an opportunity. Stolas could use this chance to be the best boyfriend possible! To show Blitz that he thinks the world of him.
So then, when he confesses the truth and gives Blitz the choice to stay or go… At least this time, Blitz will know his feelings are true.
Stolas leaps up with a newfound energy, crumbling the childish invitation in his grasp. There's no time to waste! He has a date to prepare for.
Chapter 2: A Night You Won't Forget
Summary:
Blitz tries to strike the balance between taking Stolas on a disaster date and still getting laid by the end of the night. But he finds that disappointing Stolas is... more of a challenge than he expected.
Notes:
HUGE thank you to everyone who left kudos and comments on the first chapter!! I'm sorry I got too overwhelmed to respond to everyone, but I was truly touched by the positive response to this!
and I just want to be transparent and reassure you all: this is first and foremost a romantic comedy and I only do happy endings!! I'm not trying to surprise hurt you with big time angst (I'll leave that to canon lmao)
And once again a massive thanks to
Treble
for beta reading this and just generally being awesome 💖
Chapter Text
The next morning, as soon as he unlocks the office door for everyone, Blitz announces, “Alright biiiig team meeting! C’mon M&M, get your pert lil’ asses into the conference room! And you too, Loonie-Toonie!" He gestures for the three to go ahead of him.
“Sir, for the thousandth time!" Moxxie whines, "Please refrain from making inappropriate comments about our —”
"Yeah, yeah! Hurry it up, Moxx!” Blitz interrupts him, shoving Moxxie towards the conference room. "We’ve got actual important shit to discuss right now, ‘kay?”
Once everyone has shuffled inside and seated themselves, Blitz marches to the head of the conference table and slams his left hand on top of it. Millie and Moxxie look at Blitz, giving him their full attention. Loona doesn't look up from her phone, but her ears twitch, so Blitz knows she's listening. Maybe half listening. Either way she's perfect and it's all good.
"I've got some great news, gang! Turns out, I dicked Stolas soooo good last full moon, the owl went and gave me this rock," Blitz explains, gesturing to the crystal fitted to his glove.
“Is that an Asmodeon crystal?!" Moxxie blurts out, the shock evident in his voice.
"Moxx, you mind waitin’ til I'm finished? Interrupting like that is rude as shit,” Blitz complains, barreling along with his explanation before Moxxie can argue about his hypocrisy. “Aaanyway, it IS a freaky-deaky lust crystal! Now we've got a ticket to the mortal realm that we don't gotta give back once a month! Isn't that great?"
Surprisingly it's Loona that speaks up before anyone else. She asks, "So that thing stays with you?”
"Yep!"
"Which means, I don't gotta open the portals anymore?”
"Uh huh," Blitz nods cheerfully.
“Sweet. Less work for me."
“Atta’ girl! Way to be a team player, sweetie!"
Millie pipes in and asks, "So why’d the prince give ya this crystal? Is everythin’ alright between the two a you?”
Oh right, Blitz still has to fill them in on one more tiny extra detail. He decides to leave out the part about his fake amnesia, since he doesn't need to hear Moxxie's whiny naysaying, 'Sir that's manipulatiiiiive and immooooral blah blah I love getting my self righteous ass pegged by my hot wife blah blah.'
"Hm? Oh yeah, we’re dating now or whatever," Blitz answers Millie, acting nonchalant.
"WHAT?!” They all yell in unison, even Loona.
"What?" Blitz asks innocently.
Loona leans back in her chair, eyebrows raised in surprise. "Damn, just didn't think you had it in you,” she says before returning her attention to her phone.
Millie is smiling wide, her eyes sparkling. “Oooo! It's about time!"
“You're telling me!" Moxxie agrees with her, “Please tell me this means Millie and I don't have to worry about you watching us from our windows anymore.”
"Way to make it all about yourself, Moxxie!” Blitz teases. "But now that you mention it, maybe I’ll just have to bring Stolas along for the show next time. Could be a fun date night…"
“Sir…” Moxxie starts, his tone warning. But Mille places a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.
"Aw, he's only jokin’, hun,” she assures her husband. “... I think."
Blitz claps his hands together. "Alrighty, well that was productive, but the meeting’s over! Now let's get our hot asses out in the field and go kill some poor not-so-innocent saps!”
“Hang on a sec, B!" Millie calls out just as Blitz is about to march towards the door. "Don't leave us hangin’ like that! How'd this whole thing with the prince happen? Give us the deets!”
Blitz rolls his eyes. “Millie M’dear, that's none a your beeswax! What happened to ’not prying into each other's personal lives?' Huh?" Blitz mimics Moxxie's high-pitched, whiny tone when he does the impression. He then gives Moxxie a flat look. “Can't help but notice you're suddenly not chimin’ in now, Moxx."
"Actually, I'm curious too,” Moxxie admits. He doesn't even have the decency to look ashamed about it.
Blitz sighs loudly in exasperation. “I already told you! I fucked his brains out over and over on every surface available until his sweet little birdpuss was raw… Then he gave me the rock and now we’re a thing! How is it hard to follow?!”
He notices Millie and Moxxie look at each other and do that annoying thing where they're clearly having a silent conversation. Before Blitz can comment on it, Loona chimes in, “Gross. Can we not talk about this? Like, ever again?"
"Thank you, Loonie! And this is why you're still my favorite~!” Blitz coos, moving in to hug her, which she deftly dodges.
Blitz recovers quickly. “Alright enough gossip girl chit chat! Time to go knock some dicks in and kill some motherfuckers! WOO!”
This time no one argues and they get to work.
~~~
The work day flies by and before Blitz knows it, he’s getting ready for his date with Stolas. He second guesses what he should wear once or a dozen times before finally settling on his leather jacket with a horse graphic tee. This way, he doesn't look like he's trying too hard, but still looks totally fuckable.
He prays to all that is unholy that Stolas isn't dressed over the top again, because where they're going sure as fuck ain't fancy.
After letting Loona know not to wait up for him, Blitz heads out to drive to the palace a little early. Not because he's excited to see Stolas or anything. He just knows traffic is going to be a bitch.
Except the drive ends up being easy and Blitz finds himself screeching the van to a halt in front of the palace fifteen minutes early. He’d planned on obnoxiously laying on the horn to call Stolas out, but the prince is already standing at the foot of the steps waiting for him.
The first thing Blitz notices as he kicks open the passenger side door is that Stolas is holding flowers. He tries to ignore the way the obvious romantic gesture makes his chest twist uncomfortably.
The second thing he notices is Stolas’ outfit, which isn't as showy as what he wore to Ozzie’s, but still looks like something a fancy Victorian fuckwad would wear. Frills on the sleeves and collar of his shirt, a tight waistcoat that hugs his torso just right, and enough buttons undone to allow his chest fluff to peek out in that slutty way he likes to do.
All in all, it's not a bad look on him. Cute, even. But Blitz isn’t here to admire Stolas in his clothes, his job is to get him out of those clothes by the end of the night.
“Hey there hot stuff, ready to have some fuuun?" Blitz asks with a wink, trying to steer the mood towards flirty instead of lovey-dovey.
Stolas titters as he squishes into the passenger seat, his talons bumping into the trash littered about the van that Blitz hadn’t bothered to clean. For a moment he feels self conscious about it, but then he firmly reminds himself this is supposed to be a shit date. No extra effort allowed.
The prince doesn't comment on the mess in the van anyway; his eyes lock onto Blitz as he says, "You look very handsome tonight, Blitzy.” And then rushes to add, “That is to say — Of course you always look very handsome! Tonight isn't an exception, by any means! You're so very dashing all the time!”
Blitz resists the urge to roll his eyes as he thinks, ‘Okay, you don't have to lie to me.’ Out loud he manages to say, “Uh, thanks.”
Suddenly Stolas is shoving the bouquet of flowers in his face. The shape of the red petals reminds Blitz of ninja throwing stars. “These are for you! They're a bloom from my garden,” the prince explains. “I potted them so you can keep them — Oh, but not to worry! They don't require much care, they're very resilient… They reminded me of you.”
‘Because they don't require much care??' Blitz wonders. Or maybe cause they're small and red, who the fuck knows.
“Yeah, cool, thanks Stols,” Blitz replies, taking the flowers. He looks around for a clear spot to set them, wondering how he's going to keep the pot from tipping over while he drives.
Stolas is silent for a moment before he murmurs, “... Stols?”
“Huh? Wassat?” Blitz asks, distracted as he rummages out an old donut box to set the potted plant in and keep it kind of secure in the backseat.
“It's just — You used to call me that sometimes,” Stolas says with a pleased smile.
SHIT.
“O-oh yeah?” Blitz fakes a laugh as he realizes his slip up. “Guess there's some shit even brain damage can't erase, huh? How ‘bout that? Anyway, let's get this show on the road, night’s young!” And without waiting for a reply, he's punching the gas pedal and peeling away from the palace. Stolas yelps at the sudden acceleration, but doesn't protest.
Blitz didn't have a lot of time to plan this date, but he knows exactly where he wants to go and they definitely won't need a reservation. He's about to blast some tunes for the drive over, but Stolas speaks up.
“I'd like to thank you, Blitz.”
“Uhhh for what?” He hasn't fucked Stolas' brains out yet, so there's literally nothing to thank him for.
“For taking me on this date. For giving me a chance… You didn't have to, but I'm so grateful you did. I'm really looking forward to this evening,” Stolas answers, painfully sweet and earnest.
Blitz grins. “Oh, I promise ya a night you won't forget, birdie.”
Not long after that, Blitz is pulling up to a Wackdonalds. He puts the van in park and turns to Stolas. “Now I know this ain't the kinda place that serves your caviar or grey poopoo-pon or whatever, but you don’t mind, right?”
He expects to see some kind of distaste or disappointment on Stolas' face, but the owl doesn't seem fazed in the slightest. “I don't mind at all!” He chirps as he exits the van.
Blitz follows after him, scrutinizing Stolas' body language for any sign he's full of shit. But he seems perfectly content to waltz his fancy pants ass into this shithole excuse of a restaurant like it's no big deal.
“Sooo, you ever eaten at a joint like this before?” Blitz asks, because he just can't picture it.
“Oh yes, I had Wackdonalds just the other day… in fact…” Stolas drifts off as he answers, suddenly coming to a stop in the parking lot. He seems lost in thought, but snaps back to reality a moment later. “We — We had it together, in fact!” He laughs and it's clearly strained. “We've gone on many dates like this before, after all! And we’d always… hold hands…?”
He sounds so unsure as he offers Blitz his hand. Blitz is bewildered. Both by Stolas' poor acting and by him making up such a dumb lie.
It occurs to Blitz now that Stolas could lie about anything they used to do together… And he chooses to say they ate fast food and held hands?? The fuck?
Before he can think too hard about it, Blitz takes Stolas' hand and leads them inside. The stench of stale grease hits them as soon as they walk in the door. Fortunately the place is empty aside from one guy who's passed out in a booth.
Blitz marches up to the counter, tugging Stolas along by their joined hands, their feet squeaking as they make contact with the sticky floor. The imp standing at the register looks like they're about to have a heart attack as they gaze up at Stolas.
“W-welcome to Wackdonalds,” the employee squeaks. “W-what can I get for you… your highness…?”
Blitz decides to let the employee off the hook for ignoring him just this once. He leans against the counter and turns to Stolas. “Get whatever you want off the dollar menu, babe! It’s on me tonight~!”
Now the employee notices Blitz, looking at him like he's grown another head. Blitz rolls his eyes. “Oh untwist your panties there junior, it’s a joke. Obviously he can get a combo meal if he wants, sheesh.”
Stolas giggles at Blitz’s antics. At least someone appreciates him. “Let's see,” Stolas hums as he looks over the menu. “I’ll have a Wack-double with some fries… and oh, how about a chocolate shake to share, Blitzy?”
Blitz frowns. “What, you think I can't afford to buy you your own shake? I ain't that broke, bitch.” The employee looks ready to faint.
“But sharing sounds rather romantic, doesn't it~?” Stolas coos. Blitz knows the bird must be picturing some goofy romcom he saw this happen in.
“Alright, sure,” He agrees. But it won’t be so damn romantic when he sucks down that shake before Stolas can, will it? HEH.
Blitz turns to the employee. “You didn't ask, but I’ll have a number one with a coke. A big mac combo for a big mac daddy,” he jokes with an eyebrow waggle at Stolas. The prince giggles again and Blitz has to stifle the warm, fuzzy feeling that blooms in his chest in response.
His body needs to knock it off. He's not funny, Stolas only thinks he is because he must've been dropped on his head as a child or something. It’s the only reasonable explanation.
The cashier is rightfully not amused. They give Blitz a flat look and say, “Sir, this is Hell. It's called a big wack combo.”
Blitz rolls his eyes. “Alright alright, stop wackin’ off for your employer already and just take my money, kid,” he huffs and shoves his credit card at them.
Their food is ready almost immediately after Blitz pays. It usually takes a minute, even when it's not busy. Blitz chalks up the special treatment to having a royal date.
He grabs the tray full of their food while Stolas picks them out a table to sit at. It's clearly too small for the owl and he has to sit with his long legs shifted to the side, but Stolas doesn't mention it.
“So Blitz! How was your day? Have you discovered any other surprising things you've forgotten?” Stolas asks, swiping a french fry off the tray as Blitz sets it down.
Oh, right. Blitz keeps forgetting he's supposed to have amnesia. Fortunately he's not half bad at improv. He leans back casually in his chair as he takes a seat. “Uhh… Well, I found out we don't kill people in Hell no more at I.M.P.! Guess I had the idea to corner the market on killing sinners. Pretty good, huh? Revenge is always a boomin’ business!”
“O-oh, yes! Very inventive,” Stolas agrees, an anxious edge suddenly in his voice. He fiddles with the wrappers on the straws before tearing them off. “Um did — Did your daughter or little employees mention anything else?”
“Ehh not really,” Blitz replies, figuring it best to keep things vague. “S’like I said, business is poppin’, so we had a lotta human fuckwads to kill today.”
“So you didn't… talk to them about us?” Stolas asks hesitantly as he sticks two straws in the milkshake.
Since Stolas is giving him the opening, Blitz decides maybe it’ll be fun to give him some grief about this dumb shit lie he made up. “Oh yeaaah, actually they were real fuckin’ surprised to hear that we’re boyfriends. What's that about, honey?"
“Oh, um! Well — you see, ah — the boyfriend label is a recent development! Yes! We were still trying to decide the best way to announce it to our loved ones,” Stolas stutters out. “I should have warned you, but I'm afraid it slipped my mind.”
“Uh huh,” Blitz replies, keeping his tone flat even though he's amused by how terrible Stolas is at lying right now.
Stolas rushes to go on, “But you should know, I'm thrilled to have it out in the open now! It doesn't really matter how everyone learns about it anyway, at least not to me.”
Blitz hums, unconvinced. “So have you told your daughter then?” He doubts Stolas has actually told anyone important in his life about this.
“You remember Octavia?” Stolas asks, shocked.
Dammit! He's got to stop slipping up like this! “Uhhh no? I don't know why I asked that, just popped in my head, crazy huh? Anyway, so you have a daughter??” Blitz tries to deflect, sweating.
Stolas beams, his shoulders finally relaxing. “I do! She's such a brilliant and creative young woman. Oh, they do grow up so fast, don't they? It feels like only yesterday she was asking me to read her bedtime stories…”
Blitz can’t quite relate to that, but he’s no stranger to gushing about his daughter. It makes him feel warm to see Stolas so clearly proud of his little girl and he has to keep the conversation rolling in order to distract himself. “Speaking of kids, Loonie was pretty excited about that crystal you apparently just gave me. Worked great when we put it into action today!”
“I’m pleased to hear it! Quite impressive that you went right back to work the day after such a serious injury. I trust everything went well?” Stolas asks before taking a bite of his burger.
“Oh yeah! Told ya it'd take more than a little boink on the head to take me down! Didn't affect my aim at all,” Blitz brags, mimicking shooting a gun with his fingers, winking and aiming right for Stolas' heart as he pretends to pull the trigger. It makes the owl blush and he starts giggling behind his hand. Blitz’s traitorous heart skips a beat.
“I don't doubt you, my dear. I only want to make sure you're taking care of yourself,” Stolas says once he's composed himself. “How's your food, Blitzy?”
“I haven't even taken a bite yet ‘cause you won't stop asking me questions, nosy-bird!” Blitz teases, pointedly taking a bigger than necessary bite of his burger. “Thought I was supposed to be learnin’ shit about you?" He asks through a mouthful of food.
“My apologies,” Stolas says, though he does not sound sorry at all. “I just so enjoy hearing all about you, Blitzy.” He leans in to take a sip from one of the milkshake straws.
Blitz looks away. “Well, ‘nuff about me! You need to tell me some shit about yourself!”
“Alright, what would you like to know?”
Shit. That was a dangerous question. Usually Blitz did everything in his power to not learn too much about the prince. If he got to know him more, he might find him more endearing, and if he found him more endearing, he'd start to fall for —
“Uhhhhhhh,” Blitz starts, searching for something to say. He leans in to take a long sip of the milkshake to buy himself more time, only to find the drink is already over halfway empty. “The fuck?! How the hell did you suck this down so fast??”
Stolas laughs. “Well you wouldn't remember this, but I happen to be very good at sucking~” he hums, voice dropping low. He stretches one of his long legs under the table to run a talon up and down Blitz’s leg.
The sudden shift to such a flirtatious attitude has Blitz’s head spinning, but he reacts quickly, leering at Stolas. “Oh yeah? Maybe you can help remind me later,” he replies, his tail wrapping around Stolas’ leg and squeezing. But before the bird can say anything else, Blitz throws a french fry right at his face.
Stolas squawks. “What was that for?!”
“For being a little shit and then trying to distract me to get away with it! You’ll have to get up pretty damn early to get one over on me, baby. The rest of this is mine, by the way,” Blitz informs Stolas, grabbing the milkshake cup and pulling it towards himself.
“Wait! We still have to take sips at the same time, like a couple would do,” Stolas protests.
“Should've thought of that before you slurped most of it down, you greedy bitch!” He noisily gulps down the rest of the shake.
Stolas huffs. “You're terrible!”
“Hey you started it,” Blitz shrugs, grinning. He's rewarded by Stolas throwing a fry at him. “Bitch, don't waste the food I bought you!”
“You started it~” Stolas sing-songs back at him.
Blitz laughs and they end up childishly throwing french fries back and forth at each other. Stolas plays footsie with Blitz again in an attempt to distract him, but the owl is dreaming if he thinks a little flirting is going to throw off his aim.
Stolas on the other hand, is easy to frazzle. All Blitz has to do is bat his eyelashes or brush his tail against the prince and it completely obliterates his aim. They keep the battle going until the table and floor are littered with the pieces of potato.
And that's when Blitz realizes too late… He's having fun.
Shiiiiiit. How had this plan gotten so off the rails so quickly??
Their laughter dies down and Blitz scrapes a handful of fries off the sticky table, shoving the food in his mouth. “Toldja not to waste this shit! Now that poor fuckwad is gonna have to sweep up our mess,” he complains as he chews on the fries.
“Sorry, dear. But as I recall, you did start it,” Stolas points out, sounding smug. He waves his hand and suddenly magic energy swirls around the mess of fries littering the floor, making it disappear.
Blitz hates that he's charmed. He needs to stop finding Stolas so cute immediately. He needs to remind himself why the prince is shitty.
“So uh, how'd the two of us even become a thing, anyway? What's that story?” Blitz asks suddenly, stuffing the rest of his burger in his mouth. Listening to Stolas spew some dumb fuck lie ought to drop kick him back down to reality.
He expects Stolas to spin some flowery bullshit tale of their supposed romance. Maybe something about how the rugged peasant imp came along and seduced the innocent prince.
Stolas is quiet at first as he seems to consider his answer. “Well, you now know your work requires… special access,” the owl begins carefully. “We met again when you sought my assistance to enter the mortal realm.”
Blitz starts sweating. Stolas wasn't going to tell him the truth, was he?
The prince’s smile is fond as he goes on, “I was happy to help, of course. And then you brought such a light into my life — A joy I didn't think was possible after my arranged marriage.”
Oh, so he was just going with a vague, abridged version, that was fi — WAIT, WHAT?!
“Arranged?!" Blitz shouts in surprise, startling Stolas out of his reverie. He grabs his soda and takes a long sip to stop himself before he says anything else.
“We're divorced now!” Stolas rushes to assure him, clearly misunderstanding the reason for Blitz’s outburst.
The imp nearly spits out his drink in response. Instead the liquid goes down the wrong pipe and he chokes, coughing and sputtering. Stolas is getting divorced? Since when??
Stolas reaches out a hand like he wants to comfort Blitz, but seems to think better of it and pulls back. He continues to explain, “At least, it will be official once the paperwork is finalized. But we don't even live together anymore! I assure you, it's over!”
Fuck. That's a lot to process, so Blitz decides to file it away for later. Or possibly never.
“Alright, alright. Don't pull your feathers out over it,” Blitz tells the anxious owl. He grabs his phone to check the time and realizes the indoor dining area is supposed to be closed already. Poor sap of an employee is probably too scared to tell his royal highness to get the fuck out. “Anyway, you ready to blow this popsicle stand? There’s still plenty of night left and I’ve got somewhere else I wanna take ya.”
Stolas perks up, mood instantly lifted. “Oooh? Wherever are you planning to take me now, Blitzy?” Blitz stands up and Stolas follows his lead.
“Get your cute lil’ ass in the van and you’ll find out!” Blitz tells him. He can't resist the urge to reach over and give said cute lil’ ass a pinch. Stolas squeaks.
“Blitzy!” He tries to sound stern, but Blitz can hear the smile in his voice. He takes Blitz's offending hand and intertwines their fingers. “Lead the way then, my darling.”
Blitz's mouth suddenly feels dry. He wordlessly complies and tugs Stolas along out of the restaurant and to the van.
~~~
The spot Blitz has in mind is outside of the city, so it's a bit of a drive. This time he does manage to turn the music up, but then Stolas tries to change the station. They end up spending most of the drive bickering about what kind of music to listen to and then talking about the different songs they find playing on each radio station they try.
Finally they arrive at the remote cliffside. It's dark and quiet, surrounded by nature and with a great view of the city below.
“What are we doing here?” Stolas asks, all innocent curiosity as they exit the van.
Blitz hops up onto the hood of his van and takes a seat. “C’mere and kick back, birdie. Enjoy the view,” he says. Blitz knows it's probably a shitty and stupid view compared to the stars or whatever, but it's fine. If all goes well, they won't be looking at it for very long anyway.
Stolas obliges and joins him, sitting next to Blitz, but not close enough to be touching. “It’s quite lovely and peaceful out here,” he comments.
”Mmhm, we ever done this together before?” Blitz asks, even though he already knows the answer. He scoots closer to Stolas.
“Sit on the hood of your dirty van? Oh no, this one is a new experience for me,” Stolas replies, his tone teasing.
”I think you like it a little dirty,” Blitz hums, low and flirtatious. He leans closer, caressing his fingers lightly over the prince’s torso, up to those exposed chest feathers. He can’t resist grabbing and giving them a light tug.
”Blitz…” Stolas sounds like he’s trying to act stern, but the effect is ruined by the breathlessness in his voice.
“Maybe a kiss will help spark a memory,” Blitz suggests, continuing to trail his fingers up until they reach Stolas’ chin. He angles Stolas’ face towards his. “Whaddya say? Wanna give it a shot?”
Stolas is biting his bottom lip as he considers the idea. He looks like he’s desperately trying to come up with an excuse to resist, so Blitz gives the owl the most seductive bedroom eyes he can muster.
“Well, I suppose… It couldn’t hurt to try one kiss…” Stolas finally answers. That’s all the permission Blitz needs and he surges forward to capture the prince’s lips.
The kiss is light at first, their lips moving gently against each other, almost hesitant. It’s barely anything, but it already has Blitz’s head spinning. Fuck. It makes him feel pathetic just how much he fucking missed touching Stolas like this.
Blitz moves his hand around to cradle the back of Stolas’ head. One kiss turns into another and another… each one becoming more frantic and desperate, until finally Blitz is prying open Stolas’ mouth so their tongues can meet.
Stolas whines into the kiss and Blitz’s heart rate kicks up. He grips the feathers on the back of Stolas’ head tight, just the way he knows the owl likes it, trying to get more sounds out of him. It works and Stolas moans against his mouth. Blitz feels heat pulse through him.
He moves to crawl on top of Stolas, straddling him. His tail wraps around the bird’s waist, binding them tightly together as Blitz continues to kiss him like he’ll never need to come up for air.
Suddenly the prince breaks away from Blitz’s lips, gasping, “Blitz, do you —“
But Blitz doesn’t give him time to speak, grabbing his head with both hands and pulling him in for another searing kiss. Stolas returns the kiss, his hands coming up to grip at Blitz’s back. The spines on his back raise in appreciation.
The heated make out session doesn’t last as long as Blitz would like, Stolas making a point to pull away again. Blitz tries to chase his lips once more, but Stolas dodges him this time, laughing. “Blitzy! I said one kiss!” he scolds half-heartedly, out of breath. “We — We shouldn’t be moving so quickly.”
”Quickly?" Blitz repeats in disbelief. “This ain’t fast! We’re not even past first base!” he argues, leaning back in to pepper more kisses along Stolas’ jaw. “‘Sides, can’t a guy just kiss his totally kissable boyfriend on a first date? I don’t see what’s so wrong with that!”
Stolas’ breath hitches. “Are you — Do you want to be called that, Blitz? My — My boyfriend?” He says the last part in a whisper.
Blitz starts sweating. This is what happens when all his blood starts to rush to his dick. He starts saying stupid shit. He pulls back enough so that he can look Stolas in the eyes. “Uhh, can I take a raincheck on that one? Ask me again after our third date.” There was no way Blitz wouldn’t be able to bed the prince by a third date, even if he was stuck on this 'let’s take it slow' bullshit.
Stolas’ eyes widen. “You want to go on another date?”
”That — I guess, yes, that is what I just implied, isn’t it?” Shit. Blitz hopes Stolas wasn’t already having second thoughts or he was going to look like a total jackass right now.
But Stolas’ face lights up, his smile beaming. “Oh, Blitz!” he coos, reaching for Blitz’s face and pulling him in for another kiss.
Oh fuck yes. Blitz gets set for another make out session, except Stolas starts giggling into the kiss and he won’t stop.
Blitz pulls back with a huff. “Can you stop laughing? I’m trying to make out with you,” he grouses.
Stolas is still tittering. “I’m sorry, Blitzy! I can’t help it — I’m just so happy,” he sighs dreamily.
Fuuuuuck.
Blitz’s heart is racing again and this time he’s the one who pulls back. “Y'know, maybe you got a point, we should slow this shit down. We keep kissing like this and I’m gonna pop a boner,” he says as he rolls off of Stolas to sit next to him.
“Right… We wouldn't want that,” Stolas agrees, his voice sounding strangled.
“Talk to me about something super unsexy,” Blitz requests, because even though he's not straddling Stolas anymore he's still having trouble calming down.
“Oh! Um… Well, the other day while I was observing the cosmos, I happened to witness a star collapse into a stellar black hole. Quite the terrifying spectacle!” Stolas replies.
“Really? I ask you to help get my mind outta the gutter and you start talking about a hole? Naaaw, too fucky. Talk about somethin’ else,” Blitz demands.
Stolas' hooting laughter rings out through the trees around them.
~~~
They don't stay out too much longer after that. Blitz has to work in the morning and he uses that as an excuse to call it an early night and drive Stolas home.
Once they're parked outside the palace saying their goodbyes, Blitz for some reason decides it’d just be a peachy idea to give Stolas a kiss good night. He really truly intends to keep it chaste, but somehow one kiss turns into multiple. And then before he knows it, they're full on sucking face again.
It's like now that he's gotten a taste of kissing the damn owl again, Blitz can't stop.
He sighs once he's finally pushing open the door to his apartment. He trudges in and shuts the door behind him, noting that Loona is in her room.
Blitz sets the flowers Stolas gave him down on the counter before moving to collapse into one of the kitchen chairs, letting his head fall face first against the table. He repeats the motion, thumping his head repeatedly against the surface. Maybe if he tries hard enough he can induce actual amnesia.
Loona apparently hears his racket and pokes her head out of her room. “What's going on, weirdo? Was your date that bad?” she asks.
“No,” Blitz whines, his voice muffled against the table as he keeps his face squished against the surface.
“Sooo you're giving yourself brain damage because it was… good?”
Blitz makes a non-committal noise. “‘Dun wanna talk ‘bout it,” he grunts out.
“Great, ‘cause I don't wanna hear about it,” Loona replies, moving towards the fridge and opening it. Blitz huffs out a laugh. His daughter is the best.
“You want some water?” She asks as she rummages around the refrigerator.
“No,” Blitz groans. He doesn't need water. He's completely fucking sober since he took Stolas on a date to Wackdonalds like a fucking teenager.
“You want a beer?”
“... Yeah, alright,” he agrees, finally lifting his head off the table. She grabs each of them a drink before handing one off to him.
As Blitz pops open the tab on the can he wonders… Just what the fuck is he going to do about this Stolas situation now?
Chapter 3: A Four-Way, You Say?
Summary:
Blitz is trying to get his brilliant plan back on track while ignoring his ever growing mess of complicated feelings, but that's easier said than done as Stolas continues to become more entangled in his life.
Notes:
helloooo all! this was supposed to only be the first half of chapter three, but it's gettin lengthy so I decided to split it! next chapter will get into Stolas' perspective (that alternating pov tag is NOT bullshit I swear)
as a warning: there's a brief reference to suicide (not made by a main character) in this chapter, so tread cautiously if that's a sensitive topic!
and going forward, I've decided to include the art I've drawn within each chapter. the past two chapters have been updated to include those illustrations as well!
a million thanks to Treble for beta reading and Batsy for offering feedback! and also a mega thank you to everyone for reading, leaving comments, and/or kudos! ya'll are the BEST and I hope you enjoy 💖
Chapter Text
Blitz shuts himself in his office the next morning under the guise of having to “review paperwork”, or maybe doodle horse OCs, if inspiration strikes. (“You can't just ignore the spark of creativity when it hits, Moxxie, for fuck’s sake unclench your asshole about it”).
He has an hour and a half until his next appointment with a client, so there's not enough time to go out into the field, but plenty of time to mope about his Stolas problem.
Blitz slumps over his desk, sighing as he pulls out his phone to look over the texts they'd sent each other last night.
________________________________________________
| |
Stols
Today • 1:12 AM
Thank you for taking me out this evening. I had a lovely time, truly. I'm looking forward to our next date. Perhaps you’ll allow me to treat you this time?
|________________________________________________|
Apparently Stolas has no standards, because Blitz is meeting all of them.
________________________________________________
| |
Stols
Today • 1:12 AM
Unless you already have a plan! I don't mean to assume. Whatever you're comfortable with!
nah u can pic this tyme
Wonderful! I’ll see what I can arrange and get back to you with some possible dates and times then?
k
And I realize this may be silly to bring up now, but I was just wondering. By any chance, have you read through this chat log? In an effort to refresh your memory?
|________________________________________________|
Blitz remembers laughing at this. Yeah, it'd be pretty easy to figure out Stolas was a lying little shit if an amnesiac Blitz had gone through and read their old text chain. But non-amnesiac Blitz wasn’t ready to give up on this ploy just yet.
________________________________________________
| |
Stols
Today • 1:17 AM
yea all I c are sum real fuckin funy horse memes
Is that all?
yep must b a new fone
I see. Well that is a shame, but perhaps for the best? We should be focusing on creating new memories, wouldn't you say? Tonight was a marvelous new beginning.
yea Im jus geting started w u bby ;)
|________________________________________________|
At that point, Blitz had been a little tipsy from the beers and he hadn't been able to stop thinking about what it felt like to have Stolas' tongue down his throat again. But apparently his flirty attitude had flown right over Stolas' pretty head.
________________________________________________
| |
Stols
Today • 1:20 AM
I'm so thrilled you feel the same way! I promise, I’ll make sure our next date is just as delightful as the first!
cool I gota go 2 slep now
Of course! Apologies, I didn't mean to keep you awake on a work night. Goodnight and sleep well, Blitzy 💜
gnite
|________________________________________________|
Except he hadn't been able to sleep, too pissed at himself for being pitiful and horny and a complicated mess of feelings.
So he'd slept like shit, woke up in a shit mood, and didn't even have time before work to grab some shit coffee to help him get through this shit day.
And the worst part is that Blitz still can't stop thinking about Stolas.
But Blitz can still salvage this situation, he's sure of it. He'd thought that getting freaky out in the open on top of his van would have appealed to a kinky bitch like Stolas, but the bird was weirdly determined to keep “taking things slow.”
Blitz is confident there’s no way that horny bastard can hold out much longer though. He's bound to realize soon that he not getting anything out of this relationship if they aren't fucking. The sooner Stolas realizes that, the better. Blitz is just going to have to use moves that worked in the past instead of gambling on something new.
Yeah, that's a solid plan.
His musing is interrupted by his phone vibrating. Blitz checks and sees that it's none other than Stolas. Of course it is.
________________________________________________
| |
Stols
Today • 9:13 AM
I have a surprise for you, darling! 💜
|________________________________________________|
Blitz’s mind immediately goes to the gutter and he wonders if it's going to be a dirty picture. Except he used to bitch at Stolas for sending him sexts while he's at work. But Stolas was never deterred by that before…
Before Blitz can text back, he hears the familiar sound of a portal ripping open just outside his office. His stomach drops.
Fuckfuckfuckityfuck! If Stolas mentions anything about his bullshit amnesia in front of M&M, his cover is bound to be blown. Blitz scrambles out of his chair and into the main reception area to find Stolas stepping through the portal, balancing two drink carriers and multiple large bags that smell like baked goods.
“Honey! Baby! Sweetheart! What are you doin’ here??” Blitz asks, unable to keep the frantic edge out of his voice as he scampers toward the owl.
Stolas doesn't appear to notice anyway. He brightens as soon as he sees Blitz. “Good morning, Blitzy! I had a mm… feeling that you could use a pick-me-up today,” he explains as he hands a large iced coffee to Blitz.
Blitz squints. Okay, that's suspicious as fuck. Is Stolas using his freaky cosmic powers to peep on him or something? In other circumstances that might be hot, but right now it's only serving to freak Blitz out more.
“And I didn't want to leave everyone else out, of course! Oh, but I wasn't sure what you all liked, so… I just got a little of everything,” Stolas goes on, his laugh awkward. “Why not?”
”Aww! Ain’t that sweet, boss?” Millie coos. Blitz starts sucking down his iced coffee so he doesn’t have to reply. It tastes annoyingly perfect.
“Thank you, your highness. That was very thoughtful,” Moxxie says, all polite in a way that makes Blitz want to throw his drink at him. But that would be a waste of perfectly good iced coffee. Moxxie relieves Stolas of the drinks and food he’s holding and sets it all on Loona’s desk.
“Yeah, thanks,” Loona says, short and curt. But she’s already picked out a drink and is digging into the food.
“Think nothing of it,” Stolas chirps before looking at Moxxie and Millie. “And forgive me, but I don’t believe we’ve ever been properly introduced…”
Blitz stops sulking and goes straight back into panic mode. He skitters up next to Stolas and wraps an arm around his waist. Or he tries too. The bird is so damn tall that Blitz can only really reach his thighs, but that works.
“Right, right! Stolas, this is Millie and Moxxie.” He gestures to each of them as he gives the hasty introduction. “And y’all already know Stolas. There, now we're all palsy-walsy! Fantastic! Stols, let's talk in my office.”
He tries to pull Stolas towards his office door, but Millie cuts off his path. “What's the rush, B? Let us say hi to your boooyfriend!” she insists, reaching out a hand to Stolas. “Great to officially meet’cha, Stolas!”
“The pleasure is all mine,” Stolas replies, bending down to take Millie's hand. She enthusiastically gives it a shake. “And I want to thank you — both of you, for coming to my rescue during that nasty assassination business.”
“Aw, we were happy to help!” Millie replies with a wide grin.
“It was the least we could do,” Moxxie adds, looking bashful.
“Even still, I never had the chance to express my appreciation,” Stolas says, his hand coming up to stroke along his left arm.
Blitz needs to cut this little meet-n-greet short now. The longer this conversation goes on, the more danger he's in of Stolas discovering his lie.
“Great! Now if you're all done with this wholesome chitting and chatting, I wanna get a word or a tongue in with my boyfriend before our next client gets here,” he interrupts, trying once again to tug Stolas over to his office.
Stolas allows himself to be manhandled, which Blitz appreciates in more ways than one, but Millie seems intent on delaying their departure.
“Y’know! It'd be nice to get to know the prince better, now that the two a you are official," she says. Blitz doesn't like that shrewd glint in her eyes.
“Mills, you got your own man. Back your ass up off mine,” Blitz complains.
Millie rolls her eyes, but she's grinning good naturedly. “I'm sayin' the four of us oughta go on a double date!” she explains, punching Blitz in the arm. It's clearly supposed to be a friendly teasing gesture, but it's Millie so it still fucking hurts. Blitz wheezes.
Stolas lights up. “A double date? Oh, what fun!” he hoots in delight.
Under normal circumstances, Blitz would agree. But right now the idea is making him break out in a cold sweat. “Yeeeah, much as I appreciate that you two wanna have a four-way with us, I'm not sharing my bird,” he states flatly, pulling Stolas in more solidly against his side. Blitz can feel the full body shiver that runs through the owl and he files that bit of info away for later.
Moxxie looks ready to get all defensive about Blitz’s four-way comment, but Stolas chimes in before he can argue. “We’d be delighted to go!”
Blitz snaps his gaze up toward Stolas to shoot him an annoyed look.
“Perfect! How ‘bout this weekend?” Millie suggests before Blitz can say anything, barreling forward like a force of nature.
“This weekend sounds lovely,” Stolas agrees.
“Biiiitch!” Blitz interjects. “Do you need to get your bird hearing checked? I just said no!”
“But Blitzy!” Stolas protests, pouting.
“Nuh uh, you can't just decide this shit for yourself!” he insists, trying to decide this shit for himself. “Or — or just decide to show up at the office all la-di-dah! We could've been in an important meeting or some shit!” He lets go of Stolas, gesturing with his hands as he rants, some iced coffee spilling out of the straw as he moves.
Ok sure, if they had been in a meeting, Stolas could have just waited in the lobby, but Blitz is speaking first and thinking after. It's his standard dumbassery, just with an added layer of panic.
Stolas looks startled by his words. “I… I wanted to surprise you…” he argues weakly.
Blitz sighs, his tone softening. “Yeah, well, if you'd texted and asked I coulda told you what everyone likes and saved ya from buying out half of some poor schmuck’s bakery all at once, you know!”
“Blitz! It's fine!” Millie huffs.
“It was a very kind gesture and we appreciated being included, your highness,” Moxxie adds, ever the traitor.
Loona is absorbed in whatever magazine she's reading and doesn't say anything because she's not a traitor.
But Stolas shakes his head. He looks lost in thought. “No, no. Blitz is right,” he finally says. “I’ll endeavor to be more considerate in the future.”
Blitz deflates. Huh. He'd always expected Stolas would get defensive or maybe passive aggressive about any criticism. Stolas so readily listening to him is… surprising.
“I'm terribly sorry, really!” Stolas goes on, looking genuinely embarrassed. “I didn't mean to intrude. I’ll take my leave so you can get along with your work.” He raises a hand, clearly about to create a portal.
“Woah! Now hang on there, pumpkin!” Blitz quickly wraps an arm around Stolas again before he can flee. He doesn't want Stolas to leave. He just wants to get him the fuck away from M&M. “You're already here and we weren't in an important meeting or some shit, so whatever! No harm done.”
Stolas looks confused by the flip in Blitz’s attitude. Hell, Blitz is a little confused by his own behavior. He decides not to examine it too closely.
Finally Blitz is able to pull Stolas along to his office without interruption. “Let's have a chat, ‘kay? Privately! No peepin’ on us, ya sickos!” Blitz calls out to the others.
“Sir, shouldn't we be getting prepared for our next client —” Moxxie tries to interject, but Blitz slams the door on him mid-sentence.
He huffs out a sigh of relief. “Sheesh! The way Moxx goes on about it, you'd think I'm the first boss in the history of Hell who dicks around in his office,” Blitz jokes.
But Stolas doesn't seem to hear him. “Oh, Blitz!” he gasps, holding a hand to his chest. “You decided to keep the flowers here!” Blitz follows Stolas' gaze to his desk, where he did indeed place the flowers the prince gave him last night.
Stolas is looking so damn touched, as if Blitz has done something extraordinary. Blitz has to look away, his chest growing uncomfortably tight. “Yeah, uh — thought this place could use some color, I guess. It's no big deal,” he waves off Stolas' delight, moving to take a seat in his chair and set his iced coffee cup on the desk.
“I'm so happy you like it,” Stolas replies, still beaming. Blitz's stomach is doing that bitch-ass fluttery thing again and he decides a distraction is in order.
“Yeah, I never really got to thank you for it, did I? C’mere birdie,” he purrs, crooking a finger at Stolas and beckoning him over.
Stolas looks unsure, hesitantly stepping closer. “You did thank me for the flowers last night though,” he points out.
Blitz huffs. “Then let me thank you for the damn coffee instead, just get your fine ass over here!”
Stolas’ posture relaxes and he moves closer, stopping just short of where Blitz is sitting. Blitz's grin is sharp as he whips out his tail to wrap around Stolas' hips and tug him forward. He grabs at those long legs to pull Stolas down to straddle his lap.
The space is cramped and the owl's talons initially knock into Blitz's desk, but Stolas quickly situates himself into a more comfortable position.
Blitz hums thoughtfully, “Nooow how to thank you… I think I got some ideas.” He runs his hands up and down Stolas' thighs suggestively.
“Oh my,” Stolas breathes a shaky exhale, his hands moving to rest on Blitz’s shoulders. “But Blitz, shouldn't we —”
Blitz cuts him off by grabbing a handful of his tail feathers and giving them a sharp yank. “I know you're not talking back to me right now, are ya?”
“O-of course not!” Stolas gasps, a flush blooming across his cheeks. His beak is digging into his bottom lip as if he's trying to suppress his grin, but he's clearly loving this.
Fuck, he looks so cute like this. “Good boy,” Blitz praises, his voice low and gravelly. Stolas' feathers fluff up in response.
Blitz grabs urgently at Stolas' chest feathers, tugging him down so he can crush their mouths together. Their kissing is heated and sloppy and desperate in a way that it probably shouldn't be, considering how much they sucked face last night.
But Blitz feels a swell of pride. Stolas is moaning against his mouth like he just can't get enough and it's making all the blood in Blitz’s body rush south. He brings his hands up to cradle Stolas' face, digging his fingers into the feathers there.
Stolas' talons grasp tighter at Blitz’s shoulders, not enough to hurt, but almost like he's desperate to keep his body close.
Eventually they break apart, panting. Stolas pulls back, the saliva connecting their mouths snapping. Blitz doesn't try to stop him, having mercy and letting Stolas straighten out his poor bent spine.
“Mm that's it,” Blitz praises, licking the mess from his lips. “You gonna keep bein’ good for me, baby boy?”
“I — Ah…” Stolas stutters and Blitz can see those white pupils appear in his eyes. He looks torn, like he's trying to convince himself to slow down or something stupid like that. Dammit, Blitz shouldn't have said anything.
Moving quickly, Blitz grabs Stolas’ hands and maneuvers them behind his back. His tail wraps around the owl’s wrists to keep them bound there. He hears Stolas' breath hitch and he grins. That ought to stop Stolas’ overthinking. If there was one thing this bitched loved, it was being restrained.
And alright fine, Blitz could admit he loved it too. There was just something about Stolas so eagerly and readily letting Blitz have his way with him that never failed to get him stupidly horny.
Maybe that's why Blitz can't resist the urge to slowly roll his hips upward, grinding against Stolas' cunt. His hands move back to Stolas’ thighs, gripping them tight.
“O-oh! Blitz!” Stolas gasps. Blitz continues the movement and Stolas matches him, grinding down against his crotch. The friction feels so fucking good, even with the layers of clothes separating them. It sends heat pulsing through Blitz's body.
Blitz had already been half hard from making out, but the way Stolas looks so blissed out, flushed and trembling and trying to stifle his moans, has his dick standing at full attention.
It's almost too much, looking at Stolas' pretty face all screwed up in pleasure. Blitz is getting way too turned on by all of this. And he refuses to let himself blow his load in his pants like a fucking loser.
He moves to bury his face in Stolas' chest fluff so he doesn't have to look at him, breathing in his scent. Fuck. He smells so fucking good and familiar it makes Blitz dizzy.
He feels like he's hitting a new low, dry humping so desperately against Stolas. But Blitz doesn't want to risk shattering the moment again by suggesting they lose some clothes.
That doesn't stop him from thinking about all the nasty things he wants to do. How much he wants to slam Stolas back against his desk. Rip that slutty little jumper off him and truly feel him again, hot and wet and clenching tight around him.
The idea makes him feel so crazed that Blitz thinks maybe it's actually just fucking fine if he jizzes in his pants like a total loser (wouldn't be the first time he's soiled his pants at work anyway), as long as he can get Stolas there first.
Blitz tightens his tail’s hold on Stolas' wrists and his claws dig into the owl's thighs so hard he thinks he breaks the skin. He growls and grinds faster against Stolas, bucking his hips harder. Stolas is having trouble keeping quiet now, his moans high and needy.
Blitz can feel the way Stolas starts to tremble and knows he's close. Blitz can hold out, all that matters is getting Stolas to come.
Yes yes yes FUCK yes…
The office door slams open.
NO!!!!
Stolas yelps and jolts so hard he falls out of Blitz's lap. Blitz whines pathetically at the sudden loss of contact and the tragedy of their orgasms fizzling away. He can barely process the sinner that marches through his door.
“Your client's here!” Loona belatedly announces from the other room. Thanks Loonie.
The client doesn't seem to even register that he interrupted a very fucking important and pressing meeting, launching into a rant without prompting. “I'm soooo glad I found out about this business, this is an emergency of untold proportions and only you can help!” he insists.
“Uh huh,” Blitz grunts out, blinking slowly, one eye at a time. He's still trying to give his dick the memo that it's not getting more attention any time soon.
The sinner keeps talking. “See, I died yesterday and my boyfriend hasn't killed himself yet?? The NERVE! I need him taken out right away so we can be together forever,” he explains.
“Sure thing,” Blitz agrees, only half paying attention. He's more focused on Stolas, reaching out to help him off the floor. Stolas uses the desk for balance as he stands up, his legs wobbling.
He shoots Blitz an apologetic smile before leaning down to press a quick peck of a kiss to his cheek. “Have a good day at work,” Stolas whispers. The client is still ranting and doesn't seem to notice their exchange. “I’ll call you later?”
Blitz can only nod dumbly in response. He watches Stolas take his leave, creating a portal and exiting through it, while Blitz continues struggling to get his mind out of the gutter and back on task.
~~~
Once Blitz wills his boner away, the rest of the workday is smooth sailing. Especially after he finishes all of his kiss-ass meetings with clients and actually gets to go kill some people.
Blitz’s mood is drastically improved by the time they finish up their last hit. As they step through the portal and back into the office, he wonders if he could convince Stolas to visit again so they could pick up where they left off earlier…
“So where do ya’ll think we should go out to this weekend?” Millie asks, interrupting Blitz’s very important thoughts. “Maybe we could do some rock climbin’ or some axe throwin’...”
“Or we could see a musical,” Moxxie suggests, his eyes lit up in excitement. As though this isn't nearly always his first suggestion when they make plans outside of work. “Right now there's a showing of —”
“Christ on a stick, you two are still goin’ on about this?!” Blitz interrupts. “Lemme ask ya somethin’, how come whenever I wanted to join you lovebugs on one of your boring as fuck dates before, it was all, ‘nooo we planned this without you, Blitz!', ‘there's only a reservation for two, Blitz!', ‘get out of our bed, Blitz!'"
“But now that Stolas is involved suddenly it's all just peachy keen! The fuck’s with that?” Blitz huffs, flopping down to sit on the couch.
“The fact that you don't understand the difference is extremely concerning,” Moxxie states in a flat tone.
“C’mon, B! It’ll be fun!” Millie insists, bounding over to sit next to him on the couch. “Besides, your prince seemed to reeeally like the idea!” She nudges him in the side with her elbow a couple times.
Blitz groans. The worst part about this is that he really does want to go. But how is he supposed to get M&M on board with his genius plan of lies?
“You don't have to go if you really don't want to,” Moxxie assures Blitz. He walks over to place a hand on Millie's shoulder and the two of them lock eyes to probably do more of their silent communication bullshit. “But I do think it would be good. For all of us.”
Blitz hums as he pretends to think it over. “Mmm… Nah, think I'm just gonna tell Stolas that you can't make it ‘cause Moxx got real bad food poisoning and can't stop shitting his brains out!” he tells them cheerfully.
“What! Why?!" Moxxie cries. “Can't you come up with some other reason??”
“Nope! This one's perfect!”
“But —” Moxxie tries to keep protesting, but he's interrupted by Loona.
“You dumbasses done yet? I wanna get the fuck out of here already,” she grumbles.
“That's right, it's quittin’ time!” Blitz agrees, springing up from his seat. “You heard Loonie! Zip up your blow holes and let's get our asses outta here!” He wraps an arm around Moxxie and Millie each, ushering them towards the door.
“Well if you go changin’ your mind about this weekend, just let us know, Blitz,” Millie offers one more time.
“Sure sure, thanks, Mills,” he brushes her off. Blitz has plans and those plans involve getting Stolas alone. And not allowing the bird to get more tangled up in his life than he already is.
~~~
Blitz is lounging on the couch by himself later that evening, wondering if he’ll be able to actually get a wink of sleep tonight. If he stays up again thinking about Stolas like some little bitch, he might have to kick his own ass.
As though summoned by his thoughts, Blitz hears the sound of his ringtone for Stolas. He contemplates letting the call go to voicemail, but Loona's settled into her room for the night, so he figures… What's the harm in chatting for a bit? It might be a nice distraction from all the stupid thoughts swirling around in his head anyway.
Blitz hits the answer button and quickly rattles off, "Yello! You've reached the imp simpin' and dickin' hotline, theprettyowlsayswhat?"
"What? I — I beg your pardon?" Stolas sputters, clearly caught off guard.
HEH. "Hi, Stolas," Blitz greets normally this time.
Stolas seems to recover from his confusion quickly. “Good evening, Blitzy! I do hope I haven't caught you at an inopportune time.”
“Like what? With my hand down my pants?” Blitz chuckles. “Nah you’d love it if that was the case, you dirty bird.”
Stolas laughs too, his tone teasing as he replies, “I'm quite sure I don't know what you mean!”
“Riiight. This from the guy who was humping my lap this morning like a bitch in heat,” Blitz snickers.
But then the other side of the line goes quiet. Blitz's stomach drops. Had Stolas not actually enjoyed it? Fuck, of course he didn't enjoy the pathetic dry humping what the fuck was Blitz thinking —
Stolas breaks the silence, interrupting Blitz's downward spiral, his voice high and breathy. "Ooh, Blitz! Is it any wonder I couldn't restrain myself? You still know just how to touch me!" he sighs, practically moaning. "After I left, it barely took a caress of my fingers to bring me to the apex of pleasure~!"
Oh. Holy fucking shit. That's hot. Blitz feels a jolt of arousal course through him at the thought of Stolas getting off after their little office rut sesh.
But then it hits him. "Wait a fucking minute... You're tellin' me you got to go home and come all over your hand while I had to go through the whole damn day with blue balls?!"
Stolas has the nerve to chuckle. "Sorry darling, but perhaps you shouldn't go starting what you can't finish, hmm?"
"Oh fuck you! S'all your fault for showin' up to the office lookin' like that!"
"Looking like... But I looked just the same as I always do?"
"Eeexactly! How the fuck's a guy supposed to get any work done with you struttin' around like that!" Blitz huffs in mock annoyance. Stolas seems to catch on and giggles.
Once Stolas' laughter fades away, he continues on in a more solemn tone, "But I do still feel quite awful about intruding upon your day, you know.” He keeps speaking before Blitz can assure him it's actually not a big deal. "And also for overstepping in regards to the double date plans. It's all just so exciting — I've never gone out with friends before!"
Blitz feels like his brain short circuits. Huh??
Stolas rushes to add, "Of course I know they're actually your friends and not mine, but even still, it's quite thrilling."
"Come on Stols," Blitz huffs a disbelieving laugh. "You're tellin' me none of your fancy ass richy rich friends ever take you out for... I dunno, tea and crumpets or whatever the fuck high society does for fun?"
Stolas goes silent again and somehow this feels worse than the pause from before. "Ah... no..." he finally says quietly.
Blitz wonders why the fuck not? Of course he wouldn't want to hang out with a bunch of snooty ass pricks, but he didn't imagine Stolas would have the same problem. Isn't that his crowd?
"Well! I do spend time out and about with Via on occasion of course, and it's always lovely! But I expect this will be... this will feel different," Stolas goes on. "Thank you for including me, Blitz. Truly."
Blitz's mouth feels dry. "I mean, you should thank Mills. It was her bright fuckin' idea."
"Right! Of course," Stolas agrees.
Fuuuuuckin' hell. Blitz couldn't believe he was about to cave on this like a whipped little bitch.
"Anywhoo. Yeah. The date. It'll be... so fuckin' fun," Blitz grits out.
Stolas' tone brightens immediately. "Oh I'm so glad you think so too! I wonder what I should wear! What are you planning to wear, Blitzy? Perhaps you could give me some advice —"
Blitz hates the way his traitorous heart leaps as Stolas keeps chattering on in excitement.
~~~
The rest of the week seems to pass in the blink of an eye and before Blitz knows it, he's driving over to Stolas' place to pick him up for their double date. Moxxie and Millie are sitting in the back seat and Blitz still hasn't fessed up to them about his whole brilliant amnesia act.
He's running out of time. They’ll be pulling up in front of the palace in just a few minutes.
“Hey, you two,” Blitz starts, his tone serious. He casts a quick glance towards them over his shoulder so they can see his expression is serious too. “There's something important I gotta tell you.”
Millie and Moxxie both sit up straighter, giving Blitz their full attention.
“What's wrong, Blitz?” Moxxie asks.
“Y’know you can tell us anything,” Millie assures him.
Blitz sure fucking hopes so.
“Alright. So.” Blitz takes a deep breath before launching into his explanation, speaking fast. “Last week when I was uh, visiting Stolas, I tripped over one of his million freakin' plants and beefed it so bad I blacked out. And when I woke up I kiiiinda maybe sorta convinced Stolas that I lost a bunch of my memories? And then he said some crap about being boyfriends, who the eff knows why. Point is, it's a whole messy situation but I got it under control, 'kay?
“So if you both could keep Stolas in the dark about this, that'd be greeeeat. If he finds out, odds are someone's gonna die and it might be all three of us! Ok? Ok! Fantastic! Good talk!”
Blitz parks in front of the palace just as both Millie and Moxxie yell in unison, “WHAT?!”
Luckily, Stolas is just as punctual this time as he was for their last date. As Stolas opens the passenger door and squeezes into the seat, Blitz pointedly turns all his attention towards him.
He makes a show of looking Stolas up and down. “What's cookin’ good lookin’?”
Stolas laughs and blushes and frankly looks way too happy about being squished in Blitz's dirty ass van and going on another dumb date with him.
Blitz turns to look back at Millie and Moxxie. “Doesn't he look SO good, gang??” he asks them cheerfully.
Moxxie and Millie look like they want to strangle Blitz. Their voices are strained as they murmur their agreement.
Stolas doesn't seem to notice the tension between them. For some reason he's beaming at Blitz like he's special or something. “Well, I had to try and do my best to match my date, after all,” he says, his voice taking on a low, flirtatious tone. “Though I'm afraid I still fall short…”
Blitz coughs and quickly turns back around to take the wheel, trying to look casual and like Stolas’ words don't have any effect on him.
He forces high energy in his tone as he cheers, “Alrighty! Buckle up, bitches, it's time to get this four-way started! WOO!”
“Can you PLEASE stop calling it thaaaat!” Moxxie squeals as Blitz suddenly floors the gas pedal and speeds off.
Blitz glances at Stolas out of the corner of his eye. The sight of the owl's smile makes his heart race faster. Fuck. He hopes to Satan he can get this plan back on track quickly.
Chapter 4: A Whole New Song and Dance
Summary:
Stolas tries his best to balance having fun on his first ever double date with his most important main task: proving to Blitz that he is a worthy boyfriend with genuine feelings.
But how is he supposed to sweep Blitz off his feet when Stolas keeps getting swept off his?
Notes:
BUCKLE UP BABES this chapter's a long one! and just a heads up, there's a touch more angst in parts of this one and it's quite a bit more spicy – so the rating has indeed gone up!
mega thanks as always to Treble for beta reading! and to Batsy for helping me work through some tough spots! aaaand to Sonnet for encouraging and inspiring me! don't know what I'd do without you all
and of course, big thanks to everyone who's left kind comments on the previous chapters!! hope ya'll enjoy this one too!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Stolas is sitting in the passenger seat of Blitz's van as his “boyfriend” drives their little group to a mystery double date location, and he's feeling nothing short of elated. And apprehensive. And terrified. He is well aware of how dangerous this charade he's carrying on has become.
He's immersing himself in this lie too completely. He keeps forgetting it's not real. He's falling even harder for Blitz than he ever thought possible. Stolas is very certain that if Blitz ends up rejecting him after all of this, his heart will never truly recover.
In his weakest moments he thinks about never confessing about his falsehood. But he knows he must. Eventually.
For now, he tries to purge the anxious thoughts from his mind and focus on the present. He's on his first ever double date! He thinks. He's quite certain being forced to attend stuffy Goetia events with Stella does not count.
Stolas keeps sneaking glances at Blitz. He looks so handsome in his black sleeveless shirt and artfully torn jeans that Stolas’ stomach is all aflutter whenever he looks at him.
When they had spoken on the phone previously, Blitz had advised Stolas to wear more casual attire for this date and encouraged him to ‘wear something sluttier.’ But Stolas did not want to make Moxxie and Millie uncomfortable in any way, so he decided a simple collared shirt and high waisted pants would do.
“Now that his highness is here, are you going to finally tell us where we're going, Blitz?” Moxxie’s question attracts Stolas’ attention and he finally tears his gaze away from Blitz’s bare arms.
“Just ‘Stolas’ is quite fine, if you please,” he tells Moxxie. The formality only serves to make Stolas feel out of place. Like an imposter desperately trying to fit in and believe they could be friends.
“Of course, your high – Ah, S-Stolas,” Moxxie stutters out in agreement.
“Look, when I agreed to this potential orgy —” Blitz begins, but as Moxxie starts making a sound of protest, Blitz speaks up louder, “I mean ‘double date,’ sooorry! Anyway, when I agreed to this shit, it was on the condition that I get to pick where we go!”
“Just please tell me you're not taking us to – to a sex club or something!” Moxxie insists.
“If I told ya where we're goin’, that'd ruin the fuckin’ surprise now wouldn't it? Just shut up and have a little faith, Moxx, sheesh,” Blitz huffs.
“Aww c’mon! Not even a hint, Blitz?” Millie coos.
“What, are you all allergic to surprises when they're my idea?” Blitz complains. “The answer is nooo! Now get off my dick about it.”
Stolas isn't concerned at all. Blitz always has the best ideas. He claps his hands together. “I’m very much looking forward to this evening! You've never disappointed before, Blitzy. I can't wait to find out what you have planned for us!”
Blitz drums his hands on the steering wheel. “Okaaaay, fine! If you really wanna know… Then get yourselves ready to put on a fuckin’ show, cause we're goin’ to karaoke, bitches!” he crows.
“Oooh! Nice choice, B!” Millie cheers.
“Oh so you’ll tell him where we — Wait, we’re going somewhere to sing?!” Moxxie's irritation quickly morphs into excitement.
“Yeeeap, knew you'd cream yourself over this one, Moxxie! Am I good or am I good?" Blitz brags, glancing sidelong at Stolas and waggling his eyebrows.
“The very best,” Stolas agrees, unable to tear his eyes away from Blitz. He knows he's fawning, but he can't help it. He adores how creative and thoughtful Blitz is.
Suddenly the van swerves dramatically and Stolas lurches to the side, nearly knocking his head against the passenger window. Blitz skids the van to a halt into a parking spot on the street.
“Wooo! Almost missed this primo parking spot! Here we are, gang!” Blitz announces louder than necessary, kicking open the driver's side door. Stolas follows his lead, exiting the van and glancing around to take in their surroundings.
He’s never been to this part of Pride before. There’s all sorts of interesting looking demons walking about the area. The sound of yelling and gunfire in the distance is almost drowned out by the music emanating from the bar that Blitz starts marching their group towards.
Stolas can’t read the name of the establishment, given that most of the neon lights on the business’ sign are burnt out. It’s also so crooked it’s almost hanging sideways. He supposes this is the sort of place that could be described as a “hole in the wall.” There's no bouncer or line around the block like there is at Ozzie's. Stolas finds it all quite charming and quaint.
“Uh, we’re going to sing… here?” Moxxie asks, lingering in front of the entrance, skepticism heavy in his tone.
Suddenly a burly man wolf whistles directly at Moxxie. The smaller imp jolts, leaning away, clearly uncomfortable. Millie gets between the two and viciously hisses. “Keep walkin’, fuckface!” she snarls at the stranger, pushing Moxxie towards their destination.
As they enter the venue, Stolas sees that there is a decent sized crowd. Most of the patrons are imps, but there's also some hellhounds and sinners milling about. The main bar takes up most of the back wall and there's plenty of tables scattered around for seating options. A stage is set up adjacent to the bar, where a drunken hellhound is singing along to a tune Stolas doesn’t recognize.
Their group attracts a lot of attention as soon as they're inside, but Stolas isn't surprised in the least. He looks over at Blitz and beams. His Blitzy is so very dashing, it's no wonder he's turning heads!
Suddenly Blitz takes Stolas' hand without prompting. Stolas feels his heart skip a beat.
Blitz turns to Millie and Moxxie and tells them, “Mills, find us a table. Scare some pussies out of their seats if you gotta. Moxx, figure out how we sign up for this shit. Stolas and I will grab the first round of drinks.” The other two imps nod before heading off in different directions.
Stolas follows Blitz as he tugs him by their joined hands towards the bar, weaving them through the crowd. “Whaddya want to drink, Stols?” Blitz asks, voice raised to be heard over the chatter and singing of the current karaoke performer.
“Whatever you decide to have will be good for me as well,” Stolas replies. He's never been to a bar like this before and he's not quite sure what they serve, but he trusts Blitz’s judgment.
Blitz lets go of Stolas' hand once they reach their destination so he can hop up on a bar stool. “Heeeya buddy, gonna need a round of four COCKtails to get this party started!” Blitz greets the imp bartender, holding up three fingers to illustrate his point.
“Sure thing. What kind of cocktails are you thirsty for tonight, good sir?” The bartender asks in a smooth rumble, leaning closer to Blitz.
Stolas swears he catches the bartender trailing his eyes up and down Blitz. It makes his chest clench with unease. The bartender doesn't seem to notice Stolas standing off to the side, but with someone as brilliant as Blitz shining in front of him, why would he?
Blitz huffs, “I don't fuckin’ know, just gimmie somethin that’s sweet and that’ll get us tipsy, but not too fucked up, y'know?”
The bartender chuckles. “Alright, think I got just the right medicine for you,” he replies, grabbing four glasses and beginning to assemble the drinks.
Stolas feels himself burn with an ugly sort of jealousy. Even though Blitz hardly seems engaged by the bartender, anxiety still bubbles up within Stolas. What if Blitz would be happier with someone like this? Someone who could perhaps understand him more easily? Who doesn't come across as a pompous asshole?
Stolas is suddenly overwhelmed with the need to make it known Blitz is here with him. To have Blitz look at him.
“Ooh Blitzy, there's a menu here! Are you certain you wouldn't like something stronger~?” Stolas coos, bending down and wrapping an arm around Blitz's shoulders. He starts to reach over for the small menu sitting on the bar top, his chest feathers tickling Blitz’s face.
Stolas notices Blitz’s attention immediately snap to his chest and the bartender nearly drops the bottle he's holding at the sight of them. He allows himself just a moment of smug satisfaction.
But he’s so preoccupied with internally celebrating his small victory, Stolas doesn't notice that he's leaning forward too far while reaching for the menu and practically shoves his feathers right into Blitz's face.
Stolas is about to pull away and stutter out an apology for his embarrassing clumsiness, but Blitz wraps an arm around him before he can move and deeply inhales. Oh my. Stolas blushes.
“Wha — Uh, why somethin’ stronger?” Blitz asks once he's peeled his face away from Stolas' chest. “You tryin’ to take advantage of me tonight, princey?” He smirks at Stolas, his tone teasing. Then he shakes his head. “We're here to sing, bitch! Not puke our guts out on stage like a couple of jackasses.” Blitz gestures towards the stage where the hellhound is currently stumbling off, looking like they're about to throw up.
Stolas hums and nods as he watches the poor hellhound retch. “Mm I see what you mean. I only thought it might help ease our nerves more quickly,” he explains, running his free hand through his head feathers.
“Huh. Didn't expect you to be shy about this,” Blitz comments. “Look, don't worry about being a shitty singer – everyone is!” He jabs his thumb in the direction of the stage again, where an imp has now taken up the microphone and is singing quite off key.
“Well, it’s just — I've never sung in front of anyone else before. Except for Octavia,” Stolas tries to clarify. The idea of performing in front of a crowd makes him a tad nervous. Blitz nods as though he understands.
The bartender then returns, looking more subdued as he sets the drinks in front of them. “Here, this one's on the house,” he tells them, a nervous cadence to his voice.
Stolas tilts his head in confusion. He expected the bartender to withdraw respectfully of course, but nerves? Compensated beverages? Whatever for?
Blitz however does not seem the least bit concerned. “Now that's what I'm talkin' about!” He cheers at the sight of the tall, colorful drinks. “Mind grabbin’ us a couple shots while you're at it? My date needs some liquid courage to warm up those pipes.” Blitz winks at Stolas, who can’t help but smile in return.
”Sure thing,” The bartender says, grabbing two glasses and pouring their shots in a flash. He quickly scurries away after that.
Blitz grabs one shot and passes the other to Stolas. “Here we go, babe! Show me how good you are at swallowing,” he says with an eyebrow waggle as he raises his glass.
Stolas laughs. “Allow me to refresh your memory,” he purrs before draining his glass in one smooth motion. Blitz copies him, but coughs and makes a face after he swallows the alcohol, cursing under his breath.
“Shut up! Shit’s strong,” he complains. Stolas doesn’t think so. He barely tasted it, but he keeps that to himself.
Blitz grabs two of the cocktails and hands them to Stolas. “Alright c’mon, take these and let’s see if we can find where M&M fucked off to.” He grabs the other two drinks himself and hops off the bar stool.
Given that Stolas can see over everyone’s heads in the entire room, he’s able to locate Millie and Moxxie rather quickly. He guides Blitz to the table they’ve procured.
As they approach the table, Stolas notices Millie and Moxxie have their heads bowed close together. They look like they're engaged in a deep conversation. The sight makes Stolas smile. He truly hopes Blitz and himself can talk so meaningfully like that someday as well.
“Okay we’re HERE, stop talking shit about us,” Blitz announces their presence loudly, kicking out a chair and taking a seat across from the pair. He shoves the two drinks he's holding at them. Stolas sits next to Blitz, grateful Millie found a high top that his legs are just barely able to fit underneath.
Moxxie gives Blitz an unimpressed look while Millie’s attention is focused on the drinks. “Ooo! What’d ya’ll get us?” she asks as she pulls her glass closer.
“Eh, who knows?” Blitz shrugs. “Should taste great though, ‘cause it was free!" He takes a long swig of his drink and hums in appreciation.
“Does that affect the taste?” Stolas asks, confused. He takes a sip and it tastes like a normal mixed drink to him, albeit a tad sweet.
Moxxie stops halfway to his straw. “... Why was it free?” he asks, suspicion laced in his tone.
“What? Surprised I could rizz up the bartender without flashing a pair of tits?” Blitz smirks, grabbing at his own chest as if to illustrate his non-existent breasts. Stolas stares anyway. “Nah, pretty sure it was because Stolas scared the piss outta the guy.”
Stolas frowns. He feels slightly guilty… but only slightly.
Moxxie doesn't look like he approves either. But he leans forward to take a sip of his drink once Millie expresses she's pleased with the taste of hers.
“So how do we get our asses on stage anyway? What’d you find out?” Blitz asks between siphoning down his beverage. Stolas supposes he must really like it.
“Believe it or not, this place has an app you can use to sign up,” Moxxie explains, holding up his phone to show Blitz and Stolas. “You just type in your name and the song you want to sing in order to secure a spot. The list is fairly long, so I think it will be a while before our turn comes up.”
Blitz snatches the phone out of Moxxie’s hand, ignoring his sounds of protest. “How many songs you sign up for already, Moxx? Ten? Twenty?” Blitz teases.
Moxxie blushes. “Just two! … So far.”
”Moxx is gonna sing one by himself and then we’ll sing one together,” Millie explains, the pair of them shooting each other a loving glance.
Blitz doesn’t seem to be paying attention to them though, busy typing on Moxxie’s phone. “Whaddya wanna sing, Stols?”
“Ah! Mm — Well…” Stolas stutters, unsure. He watches a group on stage singing (or rather, drunkenly screaming) Queen’s ‘Don’t Stop Me Now ’ and he feels at a loss. “I’m not really sure… Perhaps it’s best if I just spectate this time?”
”Nuh uh, no fuckin’ way. You gotta get your feathered ass up there and embarrass yourself at least once,” Blitz insists.
Stolas fidgets with the straw in his drink as he continues to contemplate. What would he even sing? He watches Blitz flag a waitress over and order another round of drinks, probably assuming Stolas could use some more alcohol to calm his nerves.
The prince’s gaze wanders back towards the stage where the group is finishing up their song and an idea suddenly takes root in his mind. He brightens a little. “Would you sing with me, Blitzy? I’m certain I’d feel so much better about going on stage if I didn’t have to do it alone,” he explains.
“A duet, huh?” Blitz seems to mull the idea over. “Sure, why not? We can show all these whores how it’s fuckin’ done!"
Stolas feels excitement bubble up in his chest. Suddenly this whole affair seems much more appealing. And now he knows exactly what he wants to sing. “Wonderful!” he chirps, reaching over and plucking Moxxie’s phone out of Blitz’s hand.
“Wha —! The fuck!” Blitz complains, trying to grab the phone back, but Stolas easily keeps it out of his reach as he types out the song title.
“You did ask me to choose a song, my dear,” Stolas points out and he finishes typing the information in.
”Yeah, that was before I agreed to sing with your scaredy-pants ass,” Blitz huffs. “What’s the song?”
”Hmm I believe if I told you, that would ‘ruin the fucking surprise,’ now wouldn’t it?” Stolas replies, quoting Blitz’s earlier statement. He reaches over and hands Moxxie his phone back.
Blitz laughs. “Fuck you! I spoiled the fuckin’ surprise when you asked!”
”Perhaps you should learn to have more resolve then,” Stolas teases.
Blitz shakes his head, but Stolas can see he’s trying to fight a grin. “Fine, if I don’t know the song and suck ass at singin’ it, that’s on you.”
”You say that as if knowing the song would make any difference,” Moxxie joins in with the teasing.
”Fuck you too! What the hell is this? I treat you all to a round of drinks I didn't pay for and this is the thanks I get??”
As if on cue, the waitress returns with their second round of cocktails. “By the way, this one's on you, Moxxie!” Blitz says cheerfully as he passes everyone their drinks. Moxxie groans.
“I’d like t’know what your boyfriend thinks!” Millie joins in, leaning toward Stolas. “You ever heard him sing before, Stolas?”
“Yeah, ever heard him sing Mustang Dong?" Moxxie adds with an eye roll.
Stolas shakes his head. He hasn't, but now he's quite intrigued.
“Shit example, Moxx! That song’s a panty-dropper and I rock it,” Blitz smirks as he shoots Stolas a smoldering gaze. “I’ll sing it for ya sometime, birdie.” He winks.
Stolas flushes. “Oh, I'd love a private performance,” he flirts back, biting his bottom lip.
Blitz locks eyes with him and Stolas can swear he feels an intense energy zipping between them. The feeling is interrupted when Millie clears her throat.
“So, Stolas! We wanted to ask… You been doin’ alright?” she suddenly questions.
Moxxie follows her lead and turns to Stolas as well. “Yeah, this whole… messy situation with Blitz’s… injury. It must be a trying time for you,” he adds.
Blitz snaps his attention towards the other two imps, his eyes narrowing.
Stolas feels his nerves suddenly return. It's difficult enough to keep the facade going in front of Blitz. He's worried about making a mistake in front of Millie and Moxxie too. “Of course things are… different,” Stolas begins, fiddling with the cuff of his shirt. “But I do believe we've been rekindling our relationship in a truly wonderful way.” He looks to Blitz again with open adoration.
Moxxie and Millie share a look. “That's great, hun,” Millie says.
“You do seem pretty happy... So I guess you're not too concerned with Blitz getting his, uh – memories back, then?” Moxxie asks.
Before Stolas can answer, Blitz is interrupting. “Oh did I miss the memo? Is it ask invasive questions hour? My turn! So M&M, where else do you two like to get freaky ‘sides the bedroom?”
“We weren't asking anything invasive!" Moxxie chokes.
“Definitely on the couch, I've caught that before. Where else? In the kitchen? At the office? Am I getting warmer?” Blitz goes on as though he hadn't heard Moxxie.
“Stoooop!” Moxxie cries, blushing.
“Oh you don't like that? Then mind your damn business!” Blitz snaps as he waves over the waitress again.
“Sir, can we slow down? I'm not even halfway done with my second drink yet,” Moxxie complains. Stolas isn't either, but he could finish it quickly if need be.
“I'm ready for another one!” Millie chirps, both of her glasses empty.
Blitz cheers and high-fives her. Stolas giggles at their antics, though Moxxie looks less amused.
“I just don't think we should go too overboar — OOOH!” he cries out mid-sentence as a sinner on stage starts crooning along to ‘The Music Of The Night.’ Moxxie lights up.
“Oh, I love this song!” Moxxie and Stolas say at the same time.
Moxxie looks stunned as he stares at Stolas. “You like Phantom too, your – Stolas?”
Stolas nods. “The soundtrack is one of my personal favorites.”
“The original cast is phenomenal, right?!” Moxxie bounces in his seat with excitement. “But there's just something special about seeing it live, you know? It just… takes my breath away! A recording can't compare!”
“Nerd alert,” Blitz teases, but he's grinning fondly. Millie beams at Moxxie as he talks.
The waitress returns with yet another round of drinks and Blitz passes Millie and Stolas each one. He pointedly keeps two for himself instead of giving one to Moxxie.
“I've actually never had the chance to see the show live,” Stolas admits to Moxxie, a little embarrassed. Moxxie seems like such a huge fan and Stolas feels silly in comparison.
“NEVER?!!” Moxxie gasps, looking horrified.
“I… Well, I don't have anyone who will attend a show like this with me,” Stolas confesses. He casts a quick glance at Blitz. Stolas never had the nerve to ask Blitz to accompany him to something like this before. But could he now… ? “And while my daughter does appreciate music, I believe she enjoys music of a different variety.” He also fears accidentally dragging Octavia along to another event she would despise.
“You have to go!” Moxxie insists. “It's a truly life changing experience! And if you don't have anyone to go with, I mean, I could go —”
“UHP BUP BUP!” Blitz interrupts Moxxie loudly. “If Stolas needs someone to go with him to one’a those pansy-wansy musical bullshit shows, then he's goin’ with ME! His boooyfriend! Hello!” Stolas’ heart flutters so hard when Blitz says this that he fears his chest might explode.
“No offense, but seeing this show for the first time is too special of an experience!” Moxxie argues. “He doesn't need it ruined by you getting up to use the bathroom in the middle of the first act!”
“Satan’s taint, that was ONE TIME! What’d you want me to do, Moxx, piss my pants??”
“Well maybe if you hadn't been drinking so much water before the show, you could have held it until intermission!”
“Well maybe yooou should stop judging me! I couldn't help it, my lunch that day was SALTY!”
“Next time, just bring a bottle to piss in, Blitz,” Millie cuts in to offer advice.
Moxxie looks scandalized. “Millie!”
She laughs. “Aw, I'm just messin’ with ya, honey!” Millie ruffles Moxxie's hair and kisses him on the cheek.
Stolas can’t help but giggle at how endearing everyone is. It’s clear Blitz holds a close friendship with his employees. Stolas thinks it’d be truly wonderful to see the show with all of them.
He starts to say, “Since Moxxie is so passionate about it, I do believe it’s only fair he goes —”
“THANK you!” Moxxie cries out before Stolas can finish his sentence.
Blitz huffs and rolls his eyes. “Oh knock it off, would ya? You're both bottoms, you know! It’d never work out!” He finishes off the drink he's currently sipping, a sour expression on his face.
Moxxie looks confused. “What? I'm married!" He gestures to Millie as though Blitz doesn't know she's his wife. Millie waves.
“So, what? You're sayin’ Stolas isn't hot enough to cheat with??” Blitz gestures to Stolas as though Moxxie doesn't know what he looks like. “Fuck you!”
“I'm not saying —! Of course, he's… attractive, but I'm —” Moxxie stutters.
“AH HA! I fuckin’ knew it!” Blitz slams his fist on the table and leans closer to Moxxie. “You're gettin’ a taste of that birdpuss over my dead fucking body, Moxx. You hear me?” His voice is a low growl, but suddenly he sounds loud and cheerful as he goes on. “Alrighty! Great! Glad we cleared that up~!”
“Ooookay!” Stolas cuts in, gently grasping Blitz by the shoulders and pulling him back. “Perhaps it's time to switch to water, Blitzy? What do you think?”
“Great idea, Stolas!” Millie pipes up. She loops an arm around Moxxie. “We’ll go grab some! C’mon baby.” She leads Moxxie off towards the bar.
Blitz watches them walk away with narrowed eyes. Stolas reaches out and cradles Blitz’s face, turning the imp to face him. “Blitzy~” he coos.
Blitz pouts, refusing to look Stolas in the eye. Stolas thinks he looks too adorable like this. He leans down to nuzzle his beak against Blitz’s forehead. “You know you're always my first choice, don't you, Blitzy~?”
“Dun gotta butter me up, Stolas,” Blitz complains.
It seems nearly inconceivable to Stolas that Blitz would be jealous over what just happened. And yet, all signs point to that being the case.
“I have a confession,” Stolas suddenly says, pulling back so he can look Blitz in the eyes. Blitz freezes, his eyes going wide. He looks worried, so Stolas quickly goes on, “I must confess, I was quite jealous of that bartender flirting with you and possibly capturing your attention.”
That startles a laugh out of Blitz. “Wait, that fuckin’ guy? Seriously??" He shakes his head in disbelief. "'Kay first of all, if he was tryin' to flirt with me, his game sucked ass. But even if he'd been a smooth operator, the fuck are you worried about? He's like a four… maaaybe a five if you're shitfaced. And you're an eleven.”
“Eleven?” Stolas repeats, his head tilting in confusion. “What ever do you mean?”
“You know, like out of ten,” Blitz waves a hand vaguely, as if that explains anything.
“Ten of what?”
Blitz laughs again. “Christ on a stick, have you never rated people's hotness on a scale of one to ten?”
Stolas has not ever rated anyone's hotness on any sort of scale before. And he's still confused. “But you said I’m an eleven. Isn't that mathematically impossible?”
“You're mathematically impossible!” Blitz says with a wide grin. Stolas laughs.
“Well, then… If I'm an eleven, you must be a twelve.” Stolas tells Blitz, his gaze soft and fond.
Blitz looks away and coughs behind his hand, but Stolas can see his cheeks are slightly flushed. “Alright, alright. Keep it in your pants, thirsty bird… ‘Least till we can sneak off somewhere. No way we're givin’ all these fucks a free show!”
Stolas hums. “Only a free show on stage, I suppose?”
He feels Blitz’s tail wind around one of his legs and squeeze. The small gesture of affection makes Stolas feel warm and fuzzy inside. “Oh yeah? And just what kinda show are we puttin’ on for these chucklefucks? You gonna tell me what song you picked?” Blitz tries to goad him.
Stolas debates revealing his choice to Blitz, but he's saved from replying as Millie and Moxxie reappear.
Millie shoves all four glasses of water at them. “Here! Moxx is up next, so we're gonna head on over towards the stage,” she tells them.
“Go sing that gay little heart out, Moxxie, YEAH!” Blitz cheers.
“Break a leg!” Stolas calls out in encouragement. The two imps wave as they depart towards the stage.
Moxxie goes up to perform alone first and Stolas admires his bravery. He sings a very charming rendition of ‘Popular’ from Wicked that has Stolas tittering.
Afterwards, Millie joins him on stage and they sing along to ‘Come What May ’ from Moulin Rouge. It's clear the couple only have eyes for each other as they perform the love song. Stolas clutches at his chest, enthralled by the whole thing. He only dares to momentarily sneak a glance at Blitz, who similarly seems completely focused on Millie and Moxxie's performance.
Stolas claps enthusiastically once the couple finishes the song. They did such a beautiful job and he's truly moved. He wants to tell them as much, but as soon as the pair return to the table, Blitz speaks up, “Nice job puttin’ the room to sleep with that one, you two! Come on Stols, we oughta be up soon.” He takes Stolas' hand and tugs him out of his seat.
As they make their way closer to the stage, Stolas starts to feel his nerves return. Even though having Blitz by his side undoubtedly gives him more courage, he's still shaking just slightly. “You should take the first part to sing,” Stolas tells Blitz.
“Mmkay, but you better not pussy out n’ leave me hangin’ when it's your turn,” Blitz tells him.
Stolas laughs softly. “Of course not, darling.”
Once their names are actually called, Stolas feels so light headed he thinks he might faint.
It seems Blitz can sense his resolve crumbling. “Nope, not lettin’ ya chickenshit outta this, c’mon snookums,” Blitz orders, getting behind Stolas and all but shoving him on stage. It seems Blitz is quite inebriated and Stolas suddenly wishes he drank a bit more himself.
They each take a microphone and Stolas spots a little screen in front of them that will presumably display the lyrics in case they forget. Or don't know the song. By the stars, what if Blitz doesn't know the song?
Except it seems he does know the song. As the opening melody of ‘A Whole New World ’ begins to play, Blitz groans out, “— you shttin’ me right now?”
Stolas' stomach drops. Of course surprising Blitz had been a bad idea. How could he have been so stupid? He shouldn't have —
“Alright fuck it, let's fuckin’ go ,” Blitz slurs before he picks up the song and starts singing. “— Shining, shimmering, splendid!"
Stolas lights up. His heart feels like it's soaring and he doesn't think he could stop smiling right now if he tried.
“Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide~?” Blitz sings as he takes Stolas' hand. Stolas giggles and twirls about as Blitz dances around him.
“I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride! "
Blitz releases Stolas' hand to make a lewd gesture when he sings the line 'over, sideways, and under.' Stolas just barely stifles a laugh.
“A whole new world!
A new fantastic point of view”
Blitz uses his tail to drag over a stool that's set to the side of the stage before hopping on top of it. He uses this new vantage point to twirl Stolas around before jumping down and continuing his performance.
“No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming! "
Stolas is so captivated by how incredible Blitz is that he nearly misses his cue.
Just in time Stolas belts out, “A whole new woooorld~!”
“Holy fucking shit,” Blitz says straight into the mic, his mouth hanging open as he stares at Stolas in awe.
Stolas feels his cheeks heat up under the attention. He keeps singing, sweeping his free hand across the air.
“A dazzling place I never knew!
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you~”
He hears Blitz’s voice tremble now as he sings the part, “Now I'm in a whole new world –!”
“Unbelievable sights!
Indescribable feeling~”
Stolas wants to match the energy Blitz was putting into his performance. He twirls and falls straight into Blitz’s arms as he sings the next lyrics, certain Blitz will catch him.
“Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky! "
Blitz laughs as he does indeed catch Stolas. His confidence seems to return as they continue to sing back and forth. Stolas very nearly forgets anyone else is in the room as he sings and dances with Blitz.
For the last verse of the song, Stolas sinks down to his knees so that he's closer to eye level with Blitz.
“A whole new world~”
Stolas stares into Blitz's eyes as he sings.
“That's where we'll be~”
He feels his heart surge with affection and adoration.
“A thrilling chase –”
“A wondrous place –”
He really means every word of the song. How can he ever go back to life in a cage after Blitz has set him free?
“For you and me~”
Stolas desperately wants to kiss Blitz. He's vaguely aware of some polite clapping coming from the crowd as he leans forward. Blitz's eyes are so wide, his pupils blown large.
But then one of the employees announces the name of the next singer to come up for their turn and Stolas jolts back to reality.
Blitz takes Stolas' hand again and quickly pulls him off stage. But instead of heading back towards their table, he guides them in another direction. “Let's grab some air,” he says, voice tight.
“Shouldn't we let Millie and Moxxie know where we're going…?” Stolas asks, thrown off by this sudden decision.
“They're fine,” Blitz waves off Stolas' concern. “Moxxie’s probably signed up to sing twenty more songs already. Leave ‘em to it.”
He guides Stolas down a hallway that the prince is pretty sure is a restricted area. They keep walking until they come upon a side door. Blitz takes them through the door and out into an alleyway.
It's dark here, with the light from the street barely reaching where they stand. Stolas glances around in confusion, still unsure why they came out here. Then Blitz releases his hand and he starts to worry.
Stolas is about to ask Blitz if he's alright, but instead lets out an undignified squawk as Blitz suddenly leaps at him. It's the last thing Stolas was expecting, so while he's able to catch Blitz in his arms, he isn't able to keep his balance as well. He falls in a graceless heap onto the cold cement, landing on his backside.
"Wh —! What in the stars was that for?!" Stolas cries, shooting Blitz an annoyed pout.
"It's your fault for being tall as shit!" Blitz argues. "How the fuck else am I supposed to get at that weird bird mouth?"
Whatever retort Stolas is about to shoot back is immediately forgotten as Blitz grabs his face and captures his lips in a fierce kiss. Stolas melts against the aggressive movement of Blitz’s lips and tongue, wrapping his arms around him and eagerly reciprocating. Oh how he loves kissing Blitz. It's an experience he never tires of; one that never fails to elate him.
Stolas can taste the traces of alcohol and sweetness from the fruity cocktails they were drinking earlier. Saliva runs down the corners of his mouth as their kissing grows more messy and urgent.
At some point he leans backwards until he’s lying flat against the ground, uncaring of the dirt and grime getting into his feathers. All that matters is kissing Blitz like his life depends on it. His fingers trace up and down Blitz's back and over his arms, soft and encouraging.
Eventually Blitz does break the kiss for air, sucking in a deep breath before diving back in to bite at Stolas' neck frantically; once, twice, three times in quick succession. Stolas moans, his legs shaking in response.
Blitz chuckles, his voice deep and gravelly. “Thaaat’s it, baby. Let daddy give you what you need,” he purrs, the spade of his tail slipping between Stolas' legs and pressing hard against his cloaca.
The pressure makes Stolas cry out and his legs spread reflexively. Blitz shifts lower and starts hurriedly trying to undo the buttons on Stolas' pants.
“You want it, Stolas? I’ll give it to ya. Over and over, s’many times as you want,” Blitz promises. “I'll keep makin’ you come until you can't take it – until you fucking pass out.” As soon as the buttons are unclasped, Blitz shoves his hand down Stolas' pants.
Stolas feels like he can't breathe. He's embarrassed about how wet he already is, but he can't help it. Blitz always has this effect on him.
Blitz moans as soon as he traces his fingers roughly around the soaked rim of Stolas' hole and it might just be the filthiest moan Stolas has ever heard. Through the haze of pleasure, the sound shocks him back to reality.
“Blitz! Ah –! Wait!” Stolas cries. He sits up and gently but firmly grasps Blitz by the wrist and pulls his hand out of his pants. Blitz doesn't fight it, instead moving his hand up to his mouth so he can lick the slick off his fingers. Stolas nearly comes from the sight alone.
He still tries to gather his senses. “Blitz, I — I think we should wait. There's no need to rush to — into sex,” Stolas manages to stutter out. He can't take advantage of Blitz like this. He needs him to know first… Know about the lie of course, but more importantly, Stolas needs Blitz to know that he doesn't only want him for the sex. He wants every part of him.
Blitz's expression morphs into distress, but he tries to cover it with a smile. “What's the matter? I can be rougher if you want — or more gentle!” Blitz offers. Stolas shakes his head and Blitz keeps talking, “You want tongue? I can use tongue instead!”
“Blitz…” Stolas says gently.
“Fuck, of course!” Blitz laughs, sounding slightly hysterical. He slaps himself on the head. “You're a fuckin' prince, ‘course you don't wanna shack up in some dirty ass alley… We could go to my van instead?”
Stolas doesn't know if he should laugh or cry. The sad truth is that under slightly different circumstances, he would absolutely let Blitz fuck him in this alleyway.
“Blitz,” Stolas tries again, gently grasping Blitz’s face with both his hands. He makes sure Blitz is looking him in the eyes before he continues. “Our first time before was rather… unexpected. And I want our first time — the one you properly remember this time — to be special.”
Blitz looks terribly confused.
Stolas tries to clarify, “You're very special to me! And I — I want our intimacy to reflect that.”
Blitz still looks lost. “Right…” he mumbles. He takes a breath before pulling away from Stolas and climbing to his feet. “Guess we oughta get back before M&M send a fuckin’ search party.” He holds out a hand to help Stolas up.
“Oh! Of course,” Stolas agrees, taking Blitz's hand and getting to his feet as well. He hastily buttons his pants up before self-consciously running a hand through his head feathers.
Stolas desperately hopes Blitz isn't upset with him. He certainly seems more subdued as they make their way back inside, but Stolas isn't sure what to say to make it better.
“Everythin’ alright, you two?” Millie asks once they make it back to the table.
“We're fine,” Blitz says curtly. “So? How many songs you got left, Moxxie? Ten? Fifteen?”
Stolas notices Millie shoot him a look of concern and all he can do is smile back weakly. The rest of the night goes on with this slightly sour mood looming over them. Stolas can't help but feel responsible even though he's not exactly sure why or what he's done wrong.
Stolas and Blitz do not return to the stage that night. Moxxie and Millie sing a couple more songs before they all decide to retire for the evening. Blitz offers to drive Stolas home and he accepts, desperate for more time with Blitz despite the lingering cloud hanging over them.
When parked outside the palace, Blitz does try to give Stolas a kiss goodnight. Stolas' heart flutters with hope. But it's the first time in recent memory that their kiss has felt stilted and awkward. Stolas ends up feeling more worried than ever after he exits the van.
His heart sinks even further as he steps inside the palace and closes the door behind him. The silence hurts more than usual after a night filled with song and laughter and enjoyable chatter. It always feels especially lonely on the weekends when Octavia is with her mother.
The staff have retired for the evening, so Stolas doesn't even have the possibility of running into another soul as he makes his way to his room.
How can this situation be so wonderful and so agonizing at the same time? Stolas already longs to call Blitz, but what would he even say? ‘Hello yes, darling, I know I saw you only moments ago, but I already miss you terribly and would you perchance like to come over for a cuddle?’
In his room, Stolas drapes himself over his chaise lounge and stares at his phone as he deliberates what to do. He eventually decides that a text would be the more appropriate course of action. After rewriting the blasted message twenty times, he sends: “I had a wonderful time this evening. It was so very nice to get to know your friends better and you were spectacular on stage, as always. I do hope we can go out again soon. Perhaps this upcoming weekend, if you are free?”
As soon as the message is delivered Stolas starts worrying. He hopes he's not being too much. Perhaps the message was too long. Is he being overbearing? A bother? What if Blitz is tired of him already?
Blitz doesn't respond right away, but Stolas doesn't expect him to. The prince busies himself by wiping off his makeup and undressing. He tries to quell his anxious thoughts, but to no avail. Once he's done getting undressed he checks his phone again, but there's still no new messages. That's alright.
Stolas decides to draw a bath, hoping the warm water might soothe him. He chooses his favorite scented bubbles to add to the tub. Checks his phone one more time once the bath is full. No reply yet. It's alright.
He sinks into the bubbly water with a sad sigh. Stolas knows very well he's being ridiculous. Blitz doesn't owe him a speedy reply and besides, there could be a myriad of reasons he hasn't responded. It doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong between them.
But Stolas wishes the night hadn't ended on the note it did. He can't help but feel that whatever strange tension befell them was his fault. If only he wasn't such a clueless fool, perhaps he could figure out what was bothering Blitz.
He contemplates having another drink once he's out of the bath. To help him sleep. Stolas isn't sure he’ll be able to get any rest otherwise, with the way he's spiraling.
He's suddenly dragged out of his morose thoughts by the sound of his phone ringing. Stolas swivels his head and sees the notification informing him that it's Blitzy calling. His heart leaps and he jolts so suddenly that water splashes everywhere as he scrambles to answer the phone before he misses the call.
“Hello! Yes, hi Blitzy!” Stolas answers breathlessly.
“Stolas, hey,” Blitz greets, sounding strained. Stolas' heart skips a beat. He’s elated to hear Blitz's voice, but he worries this might not be a good call.
“It's so nice to hear from you,” Stolas says, as though they hadn't just spoken an hour or so ago. “Did you — Um, did you get my message?”
“Yeeeah, about next weekend. I got… I got shit goin’ on…”
Stolas' heart sinks.
“On Sunday. So, uh. Saturday… would be… fine. Good. We can do Saturday.”
“Saturday is perfect!” Stolas replies quickly, hope blooming bright in his chest. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything this time! Oh, you've done such a marvelous job organizing our evenings together, I want to — I promise, to treat you to a wonderful night as well!”
“Yeah. Cool,” Blitz replies, still sounding on edge. He clears his throat. “Let's not invite any other sluts this time though. Watchin’ Moxx try to put the moves on you was just sad and pathetic, y’know? A real fuckin’ buzz kill. We don't need that shit.”
Stolas laughs, relieved to hear Blitz perking up. “Darling, I'm quite certain that's not what was happening at all.”
“Buuuull-fucking-shit! He was all, ‘Oh, your highness prince Stolas, let me take you to this musical even though I already have a hot wife and a hot boss who will sit through these horseshit shows with me!" Blitz does what Stolas assumes is supposed to be an unflattering impression of Moxxie.
Stolas can't help but laugh at the absurdity of both the performance and the notion that Moxxie was being anything other than friendly. “If he invites you to these shows as well, do you mean to say you believe he's flirting with you too?”
“That — Alright fine, no! But he was still sniffin’ around your birdpuss, trust me!” Blitz insists. “And look, I gotta tell ya, he's got a tiny baby dick. I've seen it and it's embarrassing. You wouldn't even feel it if he tried to fuck you.”
Stolas wants to say that frankly, it wouldn't matter if Moxxie had the biggest cock in all of Hell. Blitz is the only one he wants. But he doesn't want to unintentionally spoil the mood somehow.
“I’ll take your word for it,” he says instead.
“Damn right, you will!” Blitz agrees.
A silence settles between them and Stolas flounders for what to say next. Perhaps Blitz is struggling with the same issue.
Finally Blitz speaks up. “Guess I oughta letcha go, so we can both get our beauty sleep and what not. Not that I need it, heh!” He jokes.
But Stolas isn't ready to say goodbye. He doesn't want to be alone yet. Just a few more moments with Blitz, he thinks desperately.
“I'm so glad you called,” he blurts out. “I… realize this is rather silly, but I was already missing you after you dropped me off.” Stolas’ cheeks flush. He sinks further into the bath water as if to hide from the embarrassment of confessing this. “I was having such a nice time tonight, I — Well, I suppose I just wasn't ready for it to be over yet.”
There's another moment of silence. And then Blitz says, “I meeeean, does it have to be?”
Stolas' eyes widen. Does Blitz really mean…?
“Shit! I mean, uuuuh… fuck!” Blitz curses.
Stolas speaks quickly, before Blitz can say anything more. “You could come over, if you'd like!” he offers, unable to contain the trembling excitement from his voice. “Just to spend the night, of course. Not to — Not for anything untoward. We could just sleep!”
The line is quiet for what feels like an eternity. Stolas thinks his heart might've stopped. Is he breathing? He doesn't think he's breathing.
Finally Blitz speaks. “... ‘Kay, sure.”
“You will?” Stolas nearly gasps in awe.
“You really gonna make me say it again?” Blitz grumbles.
Not at all. Stolas doesn't need to be told twice. “I can make you a portal here!” he rushes to offer, nearly slipping on the wet floor in his haste to get out of the tub.
“You forget I can make 'em myself now?" Blitz teases. Stolas flushes. In his excitement, he did forget about the crystal. "Just gimmie ten minutes to get my shit together and I'll head over." Stolas hears the sound of fabric rustling on the other end of the line.
“Of course! I’ll see you in ten minutes then,” Stolas agrees, unable to contain the joy in his voice.
“Yep, see you soooon,” Blitz replies before ending the call.
Stolas is positively giddy as he grabs a towel and hurries to dry himself off. Blitz is coming over! To spend the night! Stolas feels like the luckiest demon in all of Hell.
He slips on his robe before checking over his room to make sure everything looks tidy and comfortable. The ten minutes feel like an absolute eternity to wait, but eventually the time comes and a portal materializes.
Blitz steps into the room holding a worn duffel bag and dressed in what Stolas can only assume is his sleep wear. He looks so darling in the oversized shirt and soft-looking shorts that Stolas is rendered speechless. He's never seen Blitz in casual wear like this before. He might go into cardiac arrest over it.
The portal fizzles closed and when Stolas still hasn't said anything, Blitz shoots him a look of confusion. “You okay there, birdbrain?” he asks, tossing his duffel bag down at the foot of the bed.
Stolas snaps out of his stupor. “My apologies! I didn't expect for you to arrive in your sleepwear, but I quite like the look on you, dear.”
The furrow on Blitz's brow grows deeper. He looks down at himself as though he'd forgotten what he was wearing. “Really? My raggedy-ass jam-jams are what's doin’ it for you, huh?”
Blitz could wear a trash bag and still look enchanting, in Stolas' opinion. “I believe it's not the jam-jams, but rather who is wearing them that is ‘doing it for me,’ darling,” Stolas corrects, performing air quotes when he recites Blitz’s words.
“Riiiight,” Blitz rolls his eyes, but the corner of his mouth quirks up.
Stolas claps his hands together. “Anyway! I'm so excited you're here! How are you feeling? Are you hungry? Thirsty? I can fetch you anything you would like!”
Blitz shakes his head, his grin widening. “Seems t’me like you're the thirsty one. I saw you droolin' when I walked in,” he teases before making his way to Stolas' bed and hopping up on it with one powerful push of his legs. “But nah, don't worry about me, I'm all set.” Blitz makes himself comfortable, lounging back against the pillows and crossing his arms behind his head.
Stolas joins him, perching on the other side of the bed. He notices that Blitz chose his usual side and wonders if that's another result of his subconscious remembering what he cannot. “Is there anything you'd like to do before bed, then? We could watch a movie! Or perhaps play a game,” Stolas suggests cheerfully.
“Damn birdie, aren'tcha tired??” Blitz laughs. “We were throwin' ‘em back tonight. Drinkin’ like that always takes me the fuck out.” He yawns.
“Oh, ha! No, I hardly think I drank much at all,” Stolas admits. The alcohol wasn't even strong compared to his usual fare. “We don't have to do anything though. I'm just happy you're here.” He settles down on his side, leaning on his elbow.
Blitz doesn't respond right away and Stolas worries that perhaps he made the imp uncomfortable with his comment. But then Blitz suddenly asks, “You ever play dare or dare?”
Stolas blinks. “Pardon?”
“You were talkin’ about playing games or some shit. So, you ever play dare or dare?” Blitz clarifies.
“I don't believe I've ever heard of such a game,” Stolas admits. “What are the rules?”
“S'like truth or dare, except picking truth is for pussies, so we nix that option and you gotta pick between two dares,” Blitz explains. “If you chicken outta both then you lose.”
Stolas tries to follow along and understand. “And what do these ‘dares’ entail?”
“Depends on who you're playin’ with. You gotta pick shit that they’ll find fucked up or embarrassing so you can win.”
Stolas smiles as he begins to understand. “You certainly must win this game a lot.” He's never met anyone more daring than Blitz in his entire life. Stolas doubts very much that he could come up with a dare that would rattle him.
Blitz smirks. “Don't worry, I'd go easy on ya.”
“Ohhh? And what would you dare me to do, Blitzy?” Stolas props his chin on his hand and leans closer.
“Guess you gotta wait till we play and find out!” Blitz teases with a wink. But then he yawns again. “‘Nother time though. I'm fucking wiped tonight.”
“Of course. You should rest,” Stolas agrees. As he lowers himself to rest his head on one of the pillows, a question occurs to him. “What does the winner receive for their victory?”
“Whatever he wants,” Blitz hums, his eyes drifting shut.
Stolas desperately wishes to know what Blitz wants. How to capture his heart. “Quite the enticing prize.”
Not that Stolas had a chance of winning such a game, but he ponders what he'd ask for anyway. He isn't quite sure.
Right now what he wants most is to cuddle. But he isn't sure how to initiate it without Blitz mistaking his intentions as purely sexual. The memory of Blitz sitting in his van looking so hurt after their date at Ozzie's flashes through Stolas' mind. He doesn't want history to repeat itself.
He ends up resting his hand in the space between them. An offering. Giving Blitz the option to meet him halfway.
Blitz cracks open an eye and looks at Stolas' hand, but doesn't otherwise move. “You gonna sleep or are you just gonna keep watchin’ me like a creep?” he asks with a teasing note in his voice.
In truth Stolas wants to keep staring. He still can't believe Blitz is actually here. “Sorry, Blitzy,” he says, though he does not sound apologetic at all, or stop staring.
Blitz huffs a laugh. He moves to sit up, but then pauses and looks like he's deliberating over something. Stolas watches and waits.
Then suddenly Blitz leans over and gives him a quick kiss on the beak. Before Stolas can truly process what just happened, Blitz is already turning around and laying down on his side, facing away from Stolas.
“Now stop staring and let me get some damn sleep!” Blitz grumbles.
Stolas' heart is racing from the simple gesture. Even though he really wanted to cuddle, he's still just so deliriously happy that Blitz is here.
“Okay. Good night, Blitzy,” Stolas says as he sits up and slips off his robe. He pulls a blanket over them both before clapping his hands to turn out the lights.
“G’night Stols,” Blitz replies. Stolas lies back down, but isn't able to fall asleep for a long while, too preoccupied with savoring Blitz’s presence next to him.
~~~
Stolas wakes slowly the next morning, enjoying the warm comfortable contentment he feels. He can't recall the last time he felt so at peace.
Eventually he blinks fully awake and finds himself lying on his side, with Blitz curled up against his chest. The two of them are very much an entangled mess of limbs and Stolas notices that even Blitz’s tail is wrapped around him, keeping the two of them bound firmly together.
Stolas can both hear and feel the vibration of Blitz softly purring as well. A giddy joy bubbles up in his chest. He wants to squeal and squeeze Blitz tighter, but manages to control himself.
Instead, Stolas wraps one arm around Blitz and uses his other hand to softly caress the imp’s horns, trying to be careful not to wake him. He can't recall ever being lucky enough to wake first like this before. And while cuddling, no less. What a delightful treat!
As he strokes along Blitz’s horn ever so gently, he hears a low whine in response. Stolas immediately stops his movement, surprised that such a light touch even affected Blitz. But then Blitz shifts against him and Stolas finally notices a very familiar hardness pressing against his abdomen.
Stolas feels his cheeks burn with heat. He knows it's rather silly of him to be blushing right now, given he's certainly seen Blitz in more compromising positions, but he can't help it. The way Blitz is slowly and lazily rutting his hips against Stolas indicates he's still very much asleep. And something about that is making Stolas feel embarrassed and aroused all at once.
He can't shift away to put some distance between them with the way Blitz’s tail is wrapped so firmly around his waist. At least, not without waking him. Stolas contemplates doing just that, but all his thoughts come screeching to a halt when he hears Blitz softly sigh, “Stolas…”
Blitz still isn't awake so is he… dreaming about Stolas? The thought is enough to make Stolas' heart soar. He never dared to hope that Blitz might dream and fantasize of Stolas the way the prince does of him.
Stolas can't help it — he's overwhelmed with desire. He places a hand on the small of Blitz's back and guides his movements, encouraging him to seek out more friction. Blitz’s body is pliant under Stolas' touch and follows his lead, grinding more firmly against the owl’s body.
Stolas can feel the length of Blitz’s cock growing harder as he continues to move, his breathing getting heavier. The prince is nearly overcome by his lust. He wants nothing more than to flip Blitz onto his back and swallow his cock whole right now. But Stolas is able to control himself. Barely.
After a particularly loud groan, Blitz suddenly goes very still. Stolas does as well, holding his breath. He cranes his neck down just as Blitz looks up and there's a long moment of silence as they stare into each other's eyes.
“Fuckin’ — shit!" Blitz curses as he releases his hold on Stolas and scrambles backward. “Fuck! I wasn't trying to — to fuckin’ hump your leg like a horny dog, ok? I swear to Satan I was sleeping!”
“Well, technically you were humping my abdomen,” Stolas points out as he pulls himself up into a sitting position.
Blitz huffs a laugh. “Oh was I now? And you know this ‘cause you were just lettin’ me go to town, huh? You enjoy the show, you fuckin’ pervert?”
He sounds like he's teasing, but Stolas still feels a bit guilty because he was enjoying the show. Probably too much. “I'm sorry,” he says, looking away from Blitz, embarrassed.
There's a moment of silence before Blitz replies, “Eh, I woulda done the same thing if it were me. Nothin’ to be sorry about, Stols.”
Stolas smiles gratefully as he turns to look at Blitz again. He looks more relaxed now, but Stolas can't stop his gaze from drifting lower and noticing the very prominent tent in Blitz's pajama shorts hasn't diminished at all.
Stolas bites his bottom lip. Blitz looks so sexy, it's almost unreal. It's taking all of Stolas' willpower to keep from just jumping him. But engaging in such acts of passion while Blitz doesn't know the full truth would be wrong. And Stolas has already had too many close calls at this point.
“Um. Perhaps I could draw a bath for you?” Stolas suggests, fiddling with his bedsheets to keep his hands occupied. “To give you a chance to calm down or… take care of yourself, if you'd like.” The thought of Blitz pleasuring himself in Stolas' tub has his heart racing. At this rate, he isn't going to calm down anytime soon either.
“Fuckin’ christ on a cracker…” Blitz mutters, dragging a hand down his face. “I'm not gonna go spank it in your bathtub by myself, thanks!”
Stolas doesn't know what comes over him when he asks, “Oh… So you wouldn't be opposed if you weren't alone then?” He tries to sound casual, but his voice comes out strained instead.
Suddenly a heat flashes through Blitz's eyes. “Do you wanna watch me touch myself, dirty bird?” he asks, his voice low and husky. Blitz slowly crawls closer to where Stolas is sitting up against the pillows.
Stolas is sure that his expression gives him away. He absolutely wants to watch Blitz touch himself.
Still, he tries to resist. “Oh Blitzy, I — We shouldn't…” he weakly protests.
“Hey, I get it. You wanna take things at a snail's ass pace, I know,” Blitz says, sounding understanding, although he's still creeping closer, his tail whipping behind him excitedly. “But this isn't a big deal! Jerkin’ off in front of each other is like, shit that horny teenagers do! It's practically innocent fun!”
It does not sound like innocent fun. But Stolas gets hung up on another detail. “Do you mean to say… You want to watch me touch myself as well?”
Blitz bites his bottom lip and looks Stolas up and down with such unabashed desire that it makes the owl shiver. “It's only fair, ain't it? Daddy wants a show too~”
Stolas feels so dizzy with pure want that he can't even see straight. He thinks that perhaps Blitz is right. As long as they aren't touching each other, it hardly counts, does it?
“Okay,” Stolas agrees, his voice barely above a whisper.
Blitz’s eyes light up. “Good,” he purrs, settling himself in front of where Stolas is sitting. He grips one of Stolas' thighs with his hand and the other with his tail and starts slowly spreading his legs.
The touch is so gentle compared to what Stolas is used to. Normally the prince enjoys it rough, but something about the way Blitz is handling him so carefully right now has Stolas shaking with need.
“Blitz,” Stolas sighs as his legs are fully spread. He can more acutely feel how wet his cloaca already is as it's exposed to the cool air. The way Blitz is looking at him now with such hunger only serves to make the arousal in Stolas' cunt pulse harder.
He slips one of his hands between his legs, but doesn't touch himself yet. “May I?” Stolas asks, looking to Blitz for permission.
“Yeah baby, show me how you like to treat that sweet little puss,” Blitz orders, his voice practically a growl. He slips his shorts lower so that he can finally free his cock. Stolas' mouth waters at the sight.
Blitz spits into the palm of his free hand and Stolas is completely captivated watching him take a hold of himself, stroking from the base to tip and back down again.
Stolas follows his lead, reaching down to brush his fingers around the rim of his hole, teasing himself. His breathing starts to quicken as he runs his talons more firmly along his cunt, soaking the tips of his fingers in the slick there.
Blitz’s eyes are glued to Stolas' movements. The attention makes Stolas blush brighter. It occurs to him that this might be the first time Blitz is seeing him so exposed, depending on how much he remembers. Stolas wants to put on a good show for him, wants to please him, and uses his fingers to spread himself.
His cunt throbs with a need to be filled and Stolas has to bite back the desire to tell Blitz that actually he should just go ahead and bury his cock in him as deep as it will go. Consequences be damned.
Instead Stolas thrusts two fingers inside himself at once, the bite of pain helping to ground him. “Ah! Blitz~!” he cries out.
“Fuuuuck,” Blitz groans. “Look at how wet you are… You're hungry for it, aren'tcha, birdie? Is this what you do when you're alone? You shove your fingers in your greedy cunt and think about my dick?” He squeezes at the head of his cock and Stolas can see the precum leaking there.
“Y-yes,” Stolas admits with a shaky exhale. It's the truth. Even after reading a library of smut, nothing turns him on quite like his memories and fantasies involving Blitz. “It's always you.”
Blitz tightens his hold on Stolas' thighs. The heat of his palm and tail are searing and it makes Stolas moan. “Do you… think of me too? When you touch yourself?” Stolas feels pitiful for asking and regrets the question immediately. From Blitz's perspective, they've only just reconnected. Why would he…
"Ohoooo yeah," Blitz answers with a hungry growl. "Gotten off twice this week just thinkin' about bending you over my desk..."
"R-really?" Stolas gasps, reflexively clenching down hard on his fingers. His stomach erupts into butterflies as though Blitz has just said something truly romantic.
"Shit –!" Blitz groans as he gives himself a particularly hard squeeze. "Alright fine, it was three times.” He starts stroking himself faster and Stolas matches his pace as he pumps his fingers in and out of himself.
Stolas’ cries are getting louder. He can't help it. Knowing that Blitz fantasizes about him is quickly pushing him to the edge. Feeling the heat of Blitz, so close but not touching save for the two points of contact against his legs, is driving Stolas wild.
“You like that? Go on bitch, add another finger. I know you want to,” Blitz tells him.
Stolas immediately complies, the added stretch making him tremble and cry out. “Oh! Oh, Blitz! Blitz! I — I’m close!” It's almost embarrassing how quickly he's reaching his peak, but the sight of Blitz so turned on, so openly desiring him, has Stolas’ whole body thrumming in pleasure.
Blitz doesn't sound disappointed. “That’s it, baby. You gonna come for me? Gonna make a mess all over yourself?” His movements are frantic and uncoordinated. Stolas can tell he's close too. “Shit, Stolas… Do you even know how fucking hot you are? You're drivin’ me crazy, I wanna fuck you so bad —”
It's too much. The praise. Knowing that Blitz wants him… Still wants him, even if it's only because he can't remember everything Stolas has done.
Stolas comes with a loud cry, his vision going white. His legs tremble with the rush of his release, his head spinning.
“Fuck –! Stolas!” Blitz moans and Stolas feels his cum spill across his abdomen in thick pulses.
The sound of Blitz crying out his name like that is enough to tip him over the edge again. Stolas shakes as the shock of another orgasm rocks through him, more of his own cum coating his hand.
He's breathless and panting in the aftermath. He hasn't experienced an orgasm this intense in a long while.
“Ohh!” Stolas moans as he gently extracts his fingers from inside himself.
“Fuuuck,” Blitz groans, releasing his hold on Stolas' thighs. “Do you gotta pornstar moan like that?” He sounds out of breath as well. The way he's watching Stolas' soiled hand with barely concealed hunger makes the prince think it's not just his noises that are the problem. “If you're tryin’ to get me hard again… ‘Kay that'll work, but I'm… M’gonna need a minute.”
Stolas laughs in small puffing hoots. Once his head finally stops spinning, he looks down and surveys the mess between them. There's… a lot of cum.
“How about that bath, darling?”
“Great idea,” Blitz praises. “The bath’ll make for easy clean up after round two.” He grins at Stolas and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.
Stolas can't help but laugh. Perhaps the dark cloud looming over them last night has finally passed.
Notes:
I was gifted lovely gorgeous art for this chapter that you should all look at! HERE!!
Chapter 5: A Fancy-Schmancy Rich Bitch Party
Summary:
Silly bird that he is, Stolas completely forgot that he's required to attend an annual Goetian gala on the very same night he scheduled his date with Blitz. Whatever shall he do?
Notes:
Aaaaand we're back!! I'm so grateful for everyone's patience and support while waiting for this one!
thanks again and again to Treble for beta reading and Sonnet for being such massive moral support, I love you guys!
And thank YOU ALL for over 1000 kudos?!! WOW I'm flattered so many of you vibe with my weird little story! I can't even express how much I appreciate you all taking the time to read this, like it, and/or comment! like seriously, your comments mean SO MUCH to me even if I don't manage to reply ❤ ❤ ❤
ALSO in case you missed it, I was gifted ART for the last chapter! definitely check it out, it's stunning and I'm obsessed!!!
ok that's enough sappy yappin, enjoy the chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Stolas is practically skipping as he makes his way to the bathroom after their cute little wank off session. Blitz stumbles after him, his legs feeling boneless and wobbly. Christ on a stick, did he really come that hard just from jerking it?
‘Get it together, bitch! We got a whole ‘nother round or two or six to go!’ he mentally berates himself, smacking his offending legs.
Blitz lingers near the doorway and watches as Stolas flits around the fancy bathroom, humming a peppy as fuck tune and twisting some knobs to start filling the tub. Stolas looks so damn happy, but it has to be because of the post-nut bliss, right?
Except he'd been all stupidly endearingly giddy last night too. And for what? Blitz hadn't even done anything aside from waltz in and take up space on his comfy-ass bed.
He'd been too much of a pussy last night to try and make another pass at Stolas after getting shot down outside the karaoke bar. But now? After Stolas had put on that little show for him, crying out Blitz's name all hot and desperate while fucking himself on his fingers… Oh now daddy's feeling real lucky…
“Would you prefer a lavender or vanilla scent, Blitzy?” Stolas’ question interrupts Blitz’s horny train of thought. The owl is turned toward a shelf looking through a frankly ridiculous amount of bubble bath bottles. “Oooh! Or perhaps coconut?”
Shit, Blitz doesn’t know. Which scent is the most fucky? He needs to get his hand or his tongue or his tail or his cock in that bird pronto. Because…. his plan. Or something.
“Fuck it, why not pop in all three?” Blitz suggests as he shucks off his pajamas.
“Ooh! How inspired!” Stolas coos, complying and adding a bit of each scent into the water. Once finished, he steps gracefully over the lip of the tub and settles into the bath.
Blitz follows his lead, careful to avoid the candles as he hoists himself over the edge… and promptly faceplants right into the water, splashing it everywhere.
“Are — Are you — alright, darling?” Stolas asks between hooting giggles once Blitz surfaces, using his hand to cover his mouth as though that's enough to hide his mirth.
Stolas’ laughter sounds so nice that Blitz can't even bother to be annoyed that it's at his expense.
Blitz spits out the bubbly water he accidentally swallowed. “Pfft oh yeah, I'm fine! Totally meant to do that. Well, uh — except I did smack my face extra hard riiiiight here,” he exaggerates, tapping a finger to his lips a couple times pointedly. “Damn, if only there was a fine-ass prince around here to kiss it better~”
Stolas only looks more delighted by the cheesy antics. “Oh, come into my arms, brave knight! Allow me to bestow a magical kiss of healing upon your wound~!” he coos, reaching out to hold Blitz’s face between his hands.
Blitz unsuccessfully tries to bite back a grin. This fucking dork really couldn’t resist the roleplay, could he?
Stolas leans down to press what is clearly meant to be a wholesome, chaste kiss to Blitz’s lips. But “his knight” has other ideas. Blitz hooks a hand around the back of Stolas' head to pull him closer, deepening the kiss. Fortunately, Stolas has no reservations about kissing him back, despite the weird self-imposed chastity hang ups he’s had lately.
Blitz licks into Stolas' mouth with an eager groan. He's aiming for a sloppy make out session to get Stolas all hot and bothered, but somehow the kissing becomes slow and lazy. The steam from the hot water is making Blitz feel light-headed and he’s still a little boneless from nutting so hard earlier. He allows Stolas to pull him into his lap as the owl settles against the back of the tub.
Stolas’ hands trail down his back, extra warm from the bath, making Blitz’s spines flare up as a pleasant shiver runs through him. He rakes his claws gently over Stolas’ damp chest feathers without thinking, eliciting a pleased hum from him.
The sound isn’t nearly horny enough. Satan fucking dammit, the only thing making Stolas wet right now is the water. Blitz needs to up his game.
That's when inspiration strikes. Blitz breaks the kiss, only to suddenly dive in and bite down hard on the junction between Stolas’ shoulder and neck.
Stolas’ startled moan echoes off the walls so loud that Blitz is sure some poor unfortunate saps working in nearby rooms must have heard it. Bingo.
Blitz pulls back and feigns a look of surprised innocence. “Oh shit, I don't — wow I dunno what came over me. That felt like an impulse or somethin’. Have I ever done that before…?” he asks, playing dumb.
Stolas’ responding laugh is breathy and forced. “On… on occasion, yes,” he answers, his voice sounding strangled.
Oh ho yeah, that cloaca is definitely leaking for him now.
“Here, don't worry, I’ll kiss it better for ya,” Blitz offers, his tongue already halfway out to lick up the blood trickling out of the bite wound.
But before Blitz can suck the spot better, Stolas is grabbing him by the shoulders and forcing him to spin around so his back is facing the bird’s chest. “A-allow me to wash your back, Blitzy!” Stolas insists in a tone way too loud. He grabs some kind of lavish-looking loofah sponge thing and Blitz whines in protest.
“What! I’m not the one with gobs of jizz stuck between my feathers!” Blitz argues, twisting around just enough to shoot Stolas an annoyed look. “If anyone should be doin’ the scrub-a-dubbin’, it’s me! Hand over the fancy-ass sponge, bitch!” He makes a grabby motion with his hand, but Stolas only nudges him back into his previous position.
“No, no, I insist! You’re my guest, darling. Allow me to be a gentleman and wash you first,” Stolas implores.
“Hey, I can be gentle with my man!” Blitz continues to argue. Then he pauses before adding as an afterthought, “Or I can handle you rough. All you gotta do is aaask~”
This at least earns him a giggle as Stolas begins to scrub along his back, taking extra care between his spines. “Oh, I know very well just how skilled those hands of yours are,” Stolas replies, his tone dipping low. “Not to worry, you’ll get your turn, dearest. But allow me to show you my… appreciation first.” He drags the loofah down Blitz’s back as he speaks, his talons scraping along with just the right pressure to make Blitz shiver and melt into the touch.
This isn’t quite like any foreplay they’ve done before, but Blitz can fuck with it. Between Stolas groping and scratching at his back and that seductive tone in his voice, Blitz is feeling like maybe all hope wasn’t lost. Operation bathtub fucky time is still a go.
He slowly positions his tail just right between Stolas’ legs, intent on rubbing the spade against that needy cunt, maybe slipping it inside…
“Would you like to stay for breakfast, Blitzy?” Stolas suddenly chirps, all traces of sexy-energy vanished from his tone. Blitz’s tail freezes.
“Uh,” Blitz replies dumbly, reeling from the whiplash. He snaps himself out of it and turns around in Stolas’ lap to level him with a leer. Stolas seems to take it as an invitation to start scrubbing his chest. “Askin’ me to stay for the sexiest meal of the day, huh? You thirsty bird…”
Stolas pauses his movements as a look of confusion passes over his face. “Breakfast is the sexiest meal of the day?” he repeats, his tone filled with way too much disbelief.
“Yeah? No doy?” Blitz replies like it’s obvious. Which it should be. “S’why I named one of my OCs, uh —” Wait, shit. He wasn’t supposed to talk about this sort of stuff with Stolas. It’s waaaay too personal.
“What’s an ‘oh cee’?” Stolas asks, tilting his head and blinking those big red eyes, all innocent curiosity.
Dammit. “You know like… an original character?” Blitz reluctantly grits out and waves his hand around, as though that helps explain it.
“Oh! Oh, of course!” Stolas’ eyes light up as the understanding dawns on him. “I didn’t know you have characters you write about, Blitz! How fun!” Stolas smiles, bright and excited; his task of washing Blitz clearly forgotten.
“Eh, y’know, write is a — it’s kind of a strong word,” Blitz tries to deflect.
“And one of your characters is named Breakfast? That’s quite unique — though I supposed I shouldn’t be surprised, you’ve always been creative with names,” Stolas titters and Blitz wonders what he could be referring to. He’s never shared this shit with him before… has he? Fuck, has faking amnesia actually made him forget important shit? “What’s he like?” Stolas asks, pulling Blitz out of his thoughts.
“She,” Blitz instantly corrects. And fucking shit, he hadn’t wanted to talk about this, but Stolas is beaming at him and looking ready to hang off his every word. Blitz is so used to people’s eyes glazing over whenever he talks about his OCs… this was just too damn rare of an opportunity to pass up. “Well, she’s a horse. And a lesbian. A lesbian horse,” he explains poorly. “Also she’s a bottom.” That’s a very important detail.
The light doesn’t leave Stolas’ eyes. “Oh, my! Does she struggle with her identity?”
Blitz can’t look at those eyes anymore. He snatches the sponge back from Stolas and starts scrubbing at the owl’s dirty abdomen just to have something to do while he answers. “Eh, she did when she was younger, but she’s over that self-doubting bullshit now. ‘Specially since she’s engaged to Sunbeam.”
“Sunbeam?”
“Yeahhh she’s kind of an asshole, but they’re in love. And like, stupidly sexually compatible.”
Stolas hoots out a delighted giggle. “The top of Breakfast’s dreams?”
That startles a laugh out of Blitz. “You fuckin’ know it! These two can go on fuck-fest benders so long, it’d make a succu-bitch blush!”
Stolas laughs even harder at that. “Oh, doesn’t that sound delightful~! And how did they fall in love?”
And for some reason, the question makes Blitz feel like his stomach has broken out into a whirling acrobatic routine. Suddenly, it’s too fucking much. Blitz’s throat feels tight. He’s gotten too comfortable. He’s having too much fun.
He needs to amscray the fuck out of here and get his head straight. Blitz shouldn’t even BE here right now; he should have just texted Stolas back last night, but noooo! He had to go into some kind of gay trance and call the bird instead.
Then it was a lost cause from there. Couldn't reject the date plans. Couldn't say no to coming over. Like a whipped pathetic little bitch.
“You know, it's a long ass complicated story actually. I’ll have to tell it to you some other time, ‘cause I — Well I really gotta get goin’ actually,” Blitz fumbles as he rushes to finish scrubbing Stolas down.
Stolas visibly deflates. “You do?”
“Yeahhh, sorry I —” Blitz stops short in his washing as he catches sight of scarred over flesh on Stolas’ left shoulder. That's… new.
Blitz trails his thumb over the line of the scar without thinking. Given all the knife play he’d gotten up to with Stolas in the past, Blitz knew just how impossible it was to scar a Goetia. Which could only mean this is from…
Stolas notices Blitz stroking the spot. “Oh — Ah, that’s…” Stolas pauses as he seems to search for the words. “— an old scar. Nothing to be concerned with, darling! It’s long since healed over,” he chirps, his tone suddenly way too light.
Anger washes over Blitz. Why the fuck is Stolas lying about this to him? Just cheerfully sweeping under the rug what a dumbass piece of shit Blitz was for assuming Stolas was too powerful for Striker to actually hurt. He should have been too powerful to actually get hurt… and yet here he is, scarred for life because Blitz is such a massive fuck up.
So now, what? Stolas is trying to spare his feelings? Somehow, Blitz has fooled Stolas into thinking he’s someone special, someone worth dealing with all this bullshit for. He needs to smash this illusion to pieces before Stolas gets too close and Blitz ruins him.
Blitz slides away from Stolas and out of his lap. “Yeah. I really gotta get goin’.”
“Oh, well… Then I insist you at least take some food to go,” Stolas offers.
“Thanks, but I… really should be gettin’ back to check on Loonie…” Blitz clambers out of the bathtub, splashing more water everywhere. Stolas hurries to follow him and passes Blitz a towel before grabbing his own.
“It won’t take long!” Stolas tries to assure Blitz as they both dry off. “And you can take some extra food of course, for Loona as well!”
The considerate words feel like a physical blow; like he's just being fucking reamed by Cupid's arrow. Fucking DAMMIT. Can Stolas stop acting wonderful for two fucking seconds??
“I — I really can't stick around,” Blitz lies. “Just — got a steaming shitload of shitty shit to get done today, as usual!” He forces a laugh as he rushes to dry himself off before moving back to the bedroom to grab the clothes he packed in his duffle bag. He's aware he's giving off mad frantic energy right now, but he can't seem to reel it in.
“Of course, I understand,” Stolas replies sadly as he slips his robe on and watches Blitz get dressed. Blitz has no idea why he sounds so fucking disappointed. This was a stupidly long date; he should be sick of Blitz by now. And he clearly didn't want to get fucky again, so what was even the point of keeping Blitz around?
Blitz digs his glove with the crystal out of his bag and slips it on. “May I call you later?” Stolas asks as he approaches Blitz.
“I might be busy,” Blitz replies, uneasy. “Just text me, ‘kay? I’ll get back to you when I can.”
“Alright. Yes, of course,” Stolas agrees. Before Blitz can stroke a portal out of the crystal, Stolas leans down to press a soft peck of a kiss to his cheek. “I wish you luck with the ah, shitty shit you have to endure today. I hope you still have a nice day.”
Blitz takes Stolas' hand without thinking. Almost kisses him back. Fucking hell, this gay brain bitch disease he's infected with is getting bad. “Yeah, uh… you too,” he replies after a moment, squeezing Stolas’ hand before letting go.
Blitz creates a portal and disappears through it before he can do anything else stupid. Stupider.
~~~
A little later, Stolas finds himself seated at his breakfast nook, staring at his phone without actually seeing anything on the screen.
Everything had been going so well… until he'd somehow blundered it all up again. Stolas keeps replaying all his interactions with Blitz that morning on loop, trying to figure out where he had gone so wrong.
Although he was undoubtedly seeing more sides to Blitz than he ever had before, Stolas still couldn't seem to get past this hot and cold push and pull with Blitz that left him befuddled.
It's no use. He's too much of a clueless fool to figure out what he'd done to sour the mood again. Stolas redirects his efforts, trying to come up with the perfect text that would somehow correct all his mistakes.
But after writing and editing and rewriting his message over and over and over again, he finally has to concede that it's impossible. Nothing sounds right.
He smacks his phone against his head, as though that might knock the right words loose.
“ — Dad? Helloooo?” The sound of Octavia's voice suddenly pulls him out of his morose pining.
“Octavia!” Stolas gasps, setting his phone down quickly and turning to where his daughter is standing in the kitchen. “What a pleasant surprise! I didn't expect you home so early.”
“Clearly not,” she huffs a little laugh and rolls her eyes. “I had to call out to you like five times.”
“Oh I'm sorry, sweetie, I was… distracted, I suppose,” Stolas sighs, guiltily sliding his phone to the side.
Octavia moves to the cupboard to grab a box of cereal. Shaking it, she asks, “You eat yet?”
Stolas' stomach still feels like it's turning, but he's touched by her thoughtfulness. “No, not yet. But that sounds lovely dear, thank you.” He uses his magic to levitate a couple bowls and spoons to the table while she brings the cereal and milk.
“So what were you doing on your phone that's got you so upset?” Octavia asks as she takes a seat across from him. She's pouring herself a bowl of cereal and trying to act nonchalant, but Stolas can see the curiosity in her eyes.
Unfortunately, he still isn't quite sure how to broach the topic of Blitz with her. It still feels too early to talk about, so he finds himself tiptoeing around the delicate subject.
He’ll talk to her about it once the divorce is completely finalized. And once this whole messy ordeal with Stolas’ lie to Blitz is cleared up… Stolas really wants to be able to feel confident in the status of his relationship with Blitz before he brings it up to Octavia.
“Oh, it's — It's nothing important,” he lies, following her lead and pouring himself some cereal even though he isn't sure he’ll be able to eat it. He quickly tries to change the topic. “How was your weekend?”
“Fine, I guess,” Octavia replies, looking sullen as she jabs at her cereal with her spoon. “Next weekend should be a bit more fun, at least.”
“Mmhm, and why is that, my Starfire?” Stolas asks, slightly distracted as he sees a notification pop up on his phone. His heart skips a beat, hoping beyond reason that somehow Blitz decided to text him first. But when he checks, he sees it's only a spam message.
“Are you serious?” she asks, like she can't believe he could be so daft. “The gala? For the meteor storm? I can't believe I'm the one who has to remind you about this, dad.”
Oh he IS the most daft demon in all of Hell. Stolas clutches at his head feathers as his heart sinks. He's due to attend the annual Goetian gala for the Leonid meteor shower. The same night he asked Blitz to go on their next date.
And of course there's no way for him to shirk the duty, considering he's the one who has to perform the spell to open the skies for the meteor viewing. A bitter feeling claws up Stolas' throat. Most of his fellow Goetia don't even appreciate the sight; the gala is just another excuse to dress extravagantly and gossip and judge one another.
“O-of course, how silly of me,” Stolas replies to Octavia with an uneasy chuckle. She shakes her head and wordlessly plugs in her earbuds to listen to her music.
Stolas picks up his phone, trying to decide how to break the bad news to Blitz, when a sudden hopeful idea blooms bright in his mind. Perhaps he could ask Blitz to attend with him? A dreadfully stuffy Goetian event isn't exactly the ideal setting Stolas had in mind for their date, but it might actually be fun with Blitz’s company. And perhaps he could even properly introduce him to Octavia…
He's getting ahead of himself. Stolas knows he should wait until after he reveals the truth of his deception to Blitz, but the idea of spending time together with both Octavia and Blitz has his heart fluttering.
Before he can think better of it, Stolas texts Blitz. ‘I apologize about this, Blitz, but it seems I’d quite forgotten about a gala I’m due to attend this upcoming Saturday. Of course I'd like to reschedule a time for a proper date, but would you perhaps be interested in attending with me?’
Stolas’ talons nervously tap against the floor after he hits send. He finally takes a bite of his cereal, hoping that focusing on trying to eat might distract him. It's going to be torture to wait, but Stolas doesn't expect a reply back from Blitz any time soon.
Which is why he nearly chokes on his cereal when he receives a reply not even a few minutes later. Fortunately Octavia is too absorbed in her music and phone to notice. The text reads, ‘idk meybee we shuld just reschedg’
Stolas wilts with disappointment. But it's understandable, of course. After experiencing a couple nights out with Blitz, filled with carefree fun and laughter, he can't imagine the imp would find a stiff, formal Goetian event appealing in any way. He responds, ‘Of course. Would a week night work instead? Perhaps this Friday?’
Blitz texts back, ‘pritty bizee ths week’ and then, ‘lets fig it out l8tr’
Stolas frowns at his phone and worries he might not be able to see Blitz again for two weeks at this rate. Oh, but how silly he's being. He's used to only seeing Blitz once a month. Two weeks should hardly be a challenge.
So then, why does his heart feel so heavy?
~~~
Blitz portals into work early the next day, leaving a note and the van keys for Loona to get herself and the M’s to the office. He expects they'll arrive a smidgen later than normal because of it, but that’s actually A-ok because Blitz needs the time to reevaluate this whole ‘fuck Stolas' brains out’ situation.
He's set up in the conference room, scribbling notes and doodles all over the white board as he strategizes and reflects.
Stolas has been a little too cute and endearing and fuckable lately… and this whole boyfriend lie… there has to be more to it. Stolas has to be hiding something — some sick perversion or twisted fantasy. What's his GAME? Blitz needs to figure it out before he can glue his plan back together.
The rest of the gang arrives by the time Blitz has the entire whiteboard filled.
“— Catch more flies with honey than vinegar, baby,” Blitz hears Millie say as they all shuffle through the door. A few moments later, she pokes her head into the conference room. “Hey boss! Brought ya some coffeeeee — eoh.” There’s a pause as she takes in Blitz’s brainstorming doodle vomit on the whiteboard before asking, “Everythin’ alright, B?”
Blitz ignores the question as he swoops over and cheerfully takes the coffee. “Ooo just what papa needs! Thanks a million, Millie-Billie!”
Moxxie joins them and the first thing out of his mouth is a weary sigh. “Do I even want to know what all of this nonsense is?” he gripes as he gestures to the whiteboard.
“This —” Blitz says, sweeping his arm with a flourish before tapping the board multiple times. “— Is big-brain, big-dick thinking right here, Moxx! Can’t expect ya to understand!”
Loona joins them in the conference room, already nursing her own coffee. “This about your dumbass amnesia thing?” she asks as she settles into a seat.
“Hey, the amnesia idea was a stroke of genius and — Wh-wait a minute, how the fuck do you know about that?” Blitz narrows his eyes suspiciously at Moxxie, who ducks his head like a guilty little bitch.
“These two couldn’t shut up about it on the drive over,” Loona replies, already sounding bored of the conversation as she swipes open her phone.
“We’re just concerned about you, Blitz,” Millie supplies before Blitz can berate Moxxie for being a gossip girl.
“Weeell in that case… Take a seat, you nosy-nellies! You can make it up to me by helpin’ me suss out my next move,” Blitz decides.
“Your… next move?” Moxxie repeats, tone heavy with skepticism as he takes a seat. Millie follows along and sits next to her husband.
“That’s right, now open up your assholes and listen up! Here’s the sitch: Stolas is fuckin’ up everything with his cutesy-hootsy little boyfriend act, m’kay? And I’m having a hard time — and not in a good, sexy way — seeing through it, ‘cause it’s like I’m wearing ass-tinted glasses or some shit,” Blitz explains, gesturing to part of the board with the doodles that illustrate his dilemma. “I gotta dig up some dirt on Stolas so I can remind my sappy ho brain of what a pompous, rich piece of shit he is, you follow?”
“Blitz. Why do ya think the prince lied and told you he was your boyfriend in the first place?” Millie asks in a patient tone.
Blitz considers the question, but mostly he draws a blank. By all accounts, Stolas’ behavior makes zero fucking sense. “Fuck, I dunno, he was probably just too ashamed to admit he let an imp he barely knows dick him down on the regular,” Blitz finally decides with a shrug.
“Or maybe … He WANTS to be your boyfriend! Why’re you so sure it’s an act?” Millie tries to argue.
Blitz makes a buzzer sound effect. “Wrong! Look Mills, I know you’re used to your husband’s shitty acting —” Moxxie gasps in offense. “But Stolas is actually a good actor, ‘kay? So don’t sweat it, it's not your fault for falling for his adorable bird charms,” Blitz consoles before he keeps barreling on. “But this bitch is hiding dirty secrets, trust me. Y’know, like, besides his affair with me… Whiiiich he was never exactly quiet about. But WHATEVER! Point is, I’m gonna uncover his cunty true-self!”
“Sir,” Moxxie sighs, sounding tired. “Have you considered just… talking to him?”
“Yeah, no, that’s the stupidest idea yet. The fuck do I even pay you for, Moxxie?”
“We shouldn’t even be using company time to debate about your love life anyway —!” Moxxie tries to argue, but Blitz has already tuned him out.
“Seriously, B,” Millie tries again, “We saw the way y’all were lookin’ at each other while you were singin’ on stage… If you talk to him honestly, I think you’ll find he’s feelin’ the same way you are.”
Blitz rolls his eyes. “Oh suuuuure! All we need is a wittle heart to heart about our feewings and then suddenly everything will just be fuckin’ sunshine and rainbows comin’ outta our asses, huh?!” he rants. “Uh huh, and then we’ll kiss and make up and get married and fuck hot and nasty every night, is that it??”
“I mean… yeah, probably?” Millie replies.
“I know it defies all logic, sir… But his highness genuinely seems to want to be in a relationship with you,” Moxxie adds.
“Wow! Too bad you’re both wrong! Thanks for being fuckin’ useless,” Blitz grumbles, shaking his head.
“No kidding,” Loona finally speaks up. “Blitz is right, something’s off with the guy. He’s definitely hiding something.”
Blitz nearly tears up as he shoots Loona an adoring look. If Loonie has his back, then there’s no way he can be wrong!
“Alright, so here’s the plan!” Blitz announces, deciding to explain his idea despite M&M being total Debbie-downers. “Stolas is going to some fancy-schmancy rich bitch party this Saturday. It’ll be the perfect opportunity to witness him in his element. So I’ll sneak into the shindig in disguise,” Blitz points to a drawing he did of himself with huge tits wearing a wig. “And use my fuckin’ top tier skills to snoop around and catch that adorable asshole actually being an insufferable prick —”
“You’re going to stalk him? Seriously?!” Moxxie cries.
Blitz ignores him. “Once I kill the beautiful boyfriend illusion in my head, I can get back to my ‘fuck Stolas stupid raw’ plan without any guilt or complicated feelings! Make sense?”
“Uh no?? That was complete nonsense!” Moxxie protests again.
And once again, Blitz ignores his bitch-ass whining. “Goooood meeting, fam! Now let’s get our asses moving and start making some moolah! The day’s a’wastin’!”
Blitz whistles to himself as he resolutely marches out of the conference room, determined not to look and see whatever bullshit pitying looks M&M undoubtedly have on their faces.
~~~
Blitz has done his best to avoid chit chatting with Stolas all week. He's kept his texts short and made up any dumbshit excuse he could to get out of talking on the phone (an unsettling amount of which involved him needing to stay on the shitter for hours on end).
It… hasn’t left him feeling great. Blitz finds himself missing Stolas more often than he wants to admit. But he reminds himself it will all get easier once he's shattered these ass-tinted glasses for good tonight.
Figuring out the location of the party had been kind of a bitch, but once Blitz had gotten the right imp from the right catering staff to fess up, sneaking into the shindig was easy as creampie.
Unfortunately, his “sexy blonde wig with huge tits” disguise hadn't worked out, but Blitz is nothing if not adaptable. One stolen caterer’s uniform and fake mustache later, and he's ready to infiltrate. Stolas won't recognize him like this in a million fucking years. HEH.
The party is being held at an outdoor venue; some kind of fancy gardens, though they look boring in comparison to the gardens at Stolas’ palace. Everything is symmetrical and trimmed like it was designed by someone with a stick up their ass. There are ugly-looking statues of Goetia decorating the grounds and a huge, multi-tiered fountain at the center of it all.
It’s late, so lights are strung up around the area to allow everyone to see. Soft music from a live band fills the air as the guests stand around and chat, their drinks and snacks delivered to them by waitstaff imps carrying the goods around on trays.
Blitz snags a serving tray filled with champagne flutes from another imp as he walks by. “I got it, pal. Take a load off, it’s time for your break,” Blitz tells him.
“But my shift just started —!” the other imp tries to protest, but Blitz is already scampering away and weaving through the crowd.
The Goetia are all clustered into groups, socializing like they’re in high-school cliques or some shit. Blitz expects to find Stolas among one of these groups, yucking it up with some friends. But he doesn’t spot Stolas anywhere as he strides around the area.
Eventually all the drinks are snatched off his tray, and apparently that means it’s free game for these bitches to throw their dirty dishes on his empty tray instead. Blitz ends up covertly shoving the whole thing between the legs of one of the statues to be rid of it.
He’s nearly given up hope of finding Stolas and wonders if maybe the bird bailed on this shit after all, when he finally spots him. It's no wonder it took Blitz so long to find him; Stolas is standing by himself off to the side, almost hidden in the shadow of a large shrub. Blitz watches as the prince takes a swig of — holy shit, is that a whole ass bottle of booze??
Blitz creeps closer, careful to make sure Stolas doesn’t spot him (even though his disguise is perfect, obviously). He notices that Stolas has the most miserable expression he’s ever seen on that pretty face.
“Grab me some more of those delicious vole tarts, would you?” a hawk Goetia loudly orders Blitz, stepping between him and his line of sight on Stolas. Satan dammit! How the fuck is a guy supposed to stalk — er, observe his fake boyfriend like this??
“Oh hey, y'know what? I think that lady has some right there —” Blitz tells the hawk, pointing at another random Goetia. “Up her ASS!”
The hawk Goetia sputters in shock and Blitz uses the opportunity to slink back into the crowd, making his way again towards where Stolas is standing. But once his line of sight clears, he finds that his owl is gone.
“My esteemed fellow lords and ladies!” a voice suddenly bellows from a microphone, drawing Blitz’s attention. There’s a platform at one end of the garden where a cockatiel Goetia stands at the mic. He gestures to Stolas, who is standing off to the side. “It is my pleasure to introduce Prince Stolas — who will summon a view of the meteor shower for our pleasure tonight!”
The most limp-dick applause Blitz has ever heard smatters among the crowd as Stolas steps up to the mic with a wobbly gait. “Good evening, everyone,” Stolas greets, a clear slur in his voice. “I hope that we ah, that we all may enjoy the breathtaking spectacle of the Leonid meteor storm together tonight… Thank you.” He breaks out into a small, genuine smile as he lifts his hand, magical energy swirling around it. Blitz notices the Grimoire levitating closely behind Stolas.
Suddenly a portal in the sky opens up and it’s, as Stolas described, a breathtaking sight of meteors streaking across a night sky. Blitz is transfixed by the spectacle, staring in awe. It could be easy to forget just how awesomely powerful Stolas is when Blitz has him tied up and at his mercy, but moments like this… Moments like this remind him just how out of his league Stolas truly is.
“The prince looks ready to collapse on stage! Clearly he isn’t handling the separation from his wife very well!” a Goetia’s voice chortles, cutting into Blitz’s thoughts.
“Not at all,” another agrees. “But honestly, I can’t blame poor Stella for wanting to get away from such a shameful mess of a man, even if he is a prince.”
“Can you even imagine having to look at that shabby, dull plumage day after day?!” the first one shrieks.
“Hideous!” the second one agrees with a wicked laugh.
Blitz feels like he’s going fucking insane. Because fucking… WHAT?!
He looks up toward the stage, where Stolas is still standing. Aaaand yep, he’s looking as drop dead gorgeous as ever, like a living fantasy out of Blitz’s best wet dreams. Sure, he’s wearing some extra fancy royal-fuckwad clothes, but even that damn hat can’t detract from his hotness.
Blitz looks back at the two bitchy Goetia and nope, they’re not blind. Satan’s fucking ass crack, he knew all these royal bitches were total pricks, but this is a new level of stupid.
He shakes his head before making his way towards the front where Stolas is standing.
“¡Ay, qué maravilloso! A breathtaking sight indeed!” Another voice draws Blitz’s attention, this time from a parrot Goetia.
Blitz spares a glance at the guy and his eyes narrow as he notices that the parrot isn’t looking all the way up at the meteor shower. The FUCK does this asshole think he's doing ogling HIS bird?! Blitz purposely shoves into the fuckface while passing him, almost knocking him over. Damn. Should’ve shoved harder.
“Sorryyy! Make way! Drinks to deliver, asses to kiss, you know how it is~!” Blitz calls out cheerfully as he passes him.
The portal is still open and shimmering in the sky, but Blitz spots Stolas stepping off the stage, looking tired as he somehow produces another whole bottle of liquor to start chugging down. Blitz ducks behind other party-goers and furniture alike as he slinks closer.
Just as he gets within earshot, he witnesses Stolas’ ex-wife and a pansy-looking peacock approach Stolas.
“Oh myyy, Stolas!” the peacock drawls, “I’m amazed you could even handle that spell of yours with the state you’re in. It looks as though you can hardly even stand up straight!”
Stella shrieks with laughter. “Such a fucking embarrassment! It’s no wonder our daughter couldn’t stand to be here!” she squawks with glee. Blitz notices that Stolas winces at that. “I’m sure everyone here can see why I’d want to be separated from such a pathetic fucking man!”
Stolas doesn’t retort. He just takes another long swig of his liquor, his frown somehow even deeper than it was before.
Blitz is already bristling, his spines flaring up in annoyance, but he sees red when the cunt goes on to jeer, “When will you finally do us all a favor and put yourself out of our misery?”
Oh FUCK no. Blitz isn’t going to just stand here and listen to this bitch puke that kind of vile shit all over Stolas.
“HA! Oh that’s funny!!” Blitz bellows as he marches up to the group. “I was just wondering the same thing about YOU, skank!” All three of them turn to him, jaws dropping. “You need some ideas? ‘Cause I got more than a few creative ways in mind to help you off yourself!”
“What. The FUCK did you just say to me, imp?!” Stella screeches.
“Blitz?!” Stolas gasps. Well, tits. Apparently his disguise isn’t as foolproof as he’d thought.
“Who the fuck —!” Stella starts to yell, cutting off when Blitz hastily rips off his fake mustache and tosses it to the side. “WHAT?! Is that the disgusting little toad you cheated with??!!” she screeches again, louder this time.
But Blitz isn't paying attention to the bitch-face now, no matter how loud she squawks. His eyes are glued to Stolas’ surprised expression. Blitz didn't exactly think this move through (big fuckin’ surprise there). Stolas might not be too happy about Blitz crashing the party after he ghosted him all week.
“Heeey Stolas,” Blitz waves awkwardly. “... Surprise?”
Stolas lights up. “Blitz! You're here!” he announces the obvious.
“Pleeease Stolas, access the part of your brain that isn't a horny deviant for one moment, would you?” the pompous peacock interjects, his grin smug. “You do know the lowborn aren't permitted to be here if they're not working, don't you?”
Stolas just waves his hand dismissively. “Of course he's allowed to be here, I invited him!” the prince declares, placing a gentle hand against Blitz’s back and guiding him away from the pair.
“GO ON THEN! Flaunt to everyone what an imp-sucking, traitorous prick you are!!” Stella yells furiously as they walk away, throwing her drink glass and smashing it against the pavement. Blitz flips her a double bird for good measure.
Stolas flinches at the sound of the shattering glass, but otherwise doesn't acknowledge her outburst. “Would you like something to drink, Blitzy?” he asks, glancing around, probably looking for one of the imps toting around a tray.
“Uhhh I think you've had enough for both of us, big bird. How about I just —” Blitz gently plucks the bottle out of Stolas’ hand, frowning at how light it feels. He stuffs it into an opening of another statue as they pass it. “Theeere we go.”
“I'm so happy you're here!” Stolas smiles, clearly unconcerned with the loss of his booze. “What made you change your mind and decide to come?”
“Haven't come yet, but the night's still young!” Blitz deflects.
Stolas snorts out an unflattering laugh and Blitz can't stop his heart from skipping a beat. “I'm being serious! Why are you here?” Stolas insists, still giggly. He’s swaying so much as he walks that he nearly falls over when trying to bat Blitz's shoulder playfully. Blitz wraps an arm around his thighs to steady him, pulling them both to a stop next to the giant fountain.
“Well I just, y’know, I had to crash the party ‘cause I —” Blitz blurts out the first excuse that comes to mind. “— ‘cause IIIII missed you!”
Stolas looks so touched by the declaration, Blitz thinks he might start tearing up. “I missed you TOO!” he cries, pulling Blitz in for a hug. But Stolas is still standing at his full height, so Blitz basically gets shoved face first into his crotch (not that he's complaining about getting a free sniff).
“I was worried you might be angry with me…” Stolas confesses with a small sniffle.
“Whaaat? Psh, no! ‘Course not!” Blitz assures him once he's pulled back enough to look up at Stolas. “I've just been… real busy with… uh, with — with important shit, is all…”
Stolas nods, still smiling down at Blitz. “Well I'm so happy you're here!” he coos.
“Yeah, you said that,” Blitz chuckles. “Gotta say, I've never seen you this toasted before, birdie.”
“In the few weeks you've known me?” Stolas asks with a confused warble.
Shit. “You just seemed to hold your liquor real well at karaoke!” Blitz recovers. “Do you normally party so hard at bashes like this? Should I be worried about ya doing shots off some hunky bird bootie?”
Stolas laughs, but it sounds a little sad. “Oh no, nothing like that. I was actually having quite the dreadful night before you arrived,” he confesses, his legs seeming to give out as he collapses and sits on the fountain ledge. “I'm afraid I've made Octavia upset with me again…” Stolas’ head falls into his hands as he curls in on himself.
And Blitz can't help it — he's been here. He's intimately familiar with the struggle of trying to do right by a teenage daughter and always fucking up. So comforting Stolas — it feels natural.
“Stolas, hey, look at me,” Blitz urges softly, prying the owl’s hands away from his face. Stolas lifts his watery gaze from the ground to look at Blitz like he asked. Blitz gives him a reassuring grin, keeping a hold on his hands and using his thumbs to rub circles against them. “Look, I dunno what happened, but I do know teenagers are gonna be moody little shits sometimes. You just gotta give her time to feel the feelings, y’know? Be patient and be there for her when she's ready.”
Stolas’ smile is small, but genuine. “Thank you, Blitz. I'm so grateful you're here,” he confesses again, voice soft.
“Well —” Blitz forces a laugh. “Can't say I'm surprised when your other options for company are a bunch of whore-bag cumrags with their heads up their asses.”
Whatever Stolas is about to say gets drowned out by the cockatiel from earlier stepping up to the microphone again. He encourages the guests to start dancing in the space underneath the meteor portal. The volume of the music increases with that cue as the band begins to play some kind of classical, boring-ass waltz.
Still, it's a good distraction. Before Blitz can think better of it, he asks, “Well? How ‘bout it? You gonna dance with me, legs?”
Stolas looks shocked. “You want to dance… with me?”
Blitz rolls his eyes as a fond smile tugs at his lips. “No, I’m talkin’ to the other ten foot tall gorgeous owl sittin’ around here — Yeah, I wanna fuckin’ dance with you, c'mere,” he teases, tugging Stolas by their still clasped hands to get him to stand up.
Once Stolas is standing, Blitz lets go of him to hop up on the fountain ledge, effectively giving himself the height he needs to dance with this lanky bird. He doesn’t have a lot of freedom to move about with the way he’s restricted to the ledge like this, but as he takes Stolas’ hands and leads him in a dance, Blitz finds it doesn’t matter much. Stolas is still too drunk, uncoordinated and wobbly on his feet as he tries to follow Blitz’s movements.
Despite the stumbling, Stolas is giggling and positively beaming as he sways out of time with the music. “I had no idea you were such a fabulous dancer, Blitzy,” he compliments, smiling wide.
Blitz’s stupid heart can’t stop racing. Damn Stolas for being so fucking cute and endearing. “Hey I can do more than bust a nut — I can bust a move too,” Blitz jokes.
It's not that funny, but it makes Stolas dissolve into another fit of giggles. He nearly loses his balance, but Blitz catches him and keeps him upright, letting Stolas lean heavily against him. “I'm so happy you're here, Blitz,” Stolas repeats for like the hundredth time that night with a content sigh.
And a small, quiet part of Blitz can admit… he's glad too. Yeah, this isn’t going as Blitz had expected at all , but the thought of Stolas drinking himself into a stupor while listening to his bitchy ex-wife hurl insults at him all night makes Blitz’s stomach feel sour. “Glad I could interrupt your stupid ex’s bullcrap, I’ll tell ya that,” Blitz mutters, almost under his breath.
“Ohhh,” Stolas groans. “I just thank Lucifer we’re not living under the same roof anymore! At least now I don't have to hear it everyday.”
Blitz frowns. He knows exactly what it's like to have someone beat you down on the daily and remind you that you're worthless. “You shouldn't have to hear it any day, Stolas.”
Stolas looks way too touched by the declaration, which is not even remarkable, just basic fucking decency. “It’s alright, I can handle the occasional verbal barb,” Stolas tries to assure Blitz. “At least she can't throw things at me anymore, lest she leave everyone with an uncouth impression —”
“She fuckin’ — threw shit at you?!” Blitz fumes, interrupting Stolas’ babbling. He stops dancing, reflexively pulling Stolas tighter against him. “Oh HELL no! Where’d that nasty bitch go? I’ll give her a taste of her own fucking medicine,” Blitz rants, tail snapping in anger as his head swivels back and forth, trying to spot Stella. “See how SHE likes getting shit thrown at her ugly fucking face —!”
“No, Blitz, no!” Stolas cries, sounding alarmed and gripping Blitz tighter. “It's not worth it, you could get into far too much trouble for laying a hand on a Goetia…”
“Yeah, only if I get caught,” Blitz argues, still steaming.
Stolas huffs a little laugh this time, leaning in and pressing a kiss to the corner of Blitz’s mouth, his aim off. “Thank you, darling, you're so sweet,” Stolas coos, and Blitz feels himself relax a fraction. “But really, it’s — it's fine. Everything is much better now that we’re separated, I promise! Especially ever since she called off the whole assassination plot and —”
“... She what?” Blitz growls, low and dark.
Stolas starts stuttering out more excuses, but Blitz can't hear him over the ringing in his ears. White hot rage takes over and he can't even see straight. “I'm gonna fucking pluck every feather out of that motherfucking rank-ass whore one by fucking one!!” he yells, moving to leap off the fountain edge.
“Darling, please! It's alright! The ordeal is over now, it’s not of any concern,” Stolas continues to babble, catching Blitz in mid-air before he can storm away and make good on his threat.
“Over, my ass! I’m just gettin’ started!” Blitz snarls. He struggles against Stolas' hold, but the owl is keeping a surprisingly strong grip on him.
“While I appreciate the — nng — sentiment… perhaps it's best if you call it a night, darling,” Stolas huffs out.
“Y’know what? Fuck it! I'm a talented assassin! Bet I could kill the cunt if I really tried!” Blitz continues to rant. He's still seeing red, so he doesn't notice when Stolas opens a portal to his apartment behind them.
“I'm sorry, my dear, but you really — Ahh!” Stolas yelps as they both fall in a tangled heap through the portal due to Blitz viciously thrashing around to get out of Stolas' hold.
The portal snaps shut behind them and then they're alone in the living room of Blitz’s apartment, on the floor right behind the couch. Blitz is still spitting mad, flailing around, even with Stolas sprawled out on top of him.
Stolas is laughing and it only pisses Blitz off more. “This isn't some hee-haw laughing matter, bitch!!” he spits.
“I'm sorry,” Stolas chuckles, not sounding sorry at all. “I'm touched by how passionate you are about this, truly.”
Oh, right! Because Blitz should just be CALM about the fact that this bitch wasn't satisfied with verbally and physically abusing Stolas, she had to throw a murder attempt in there too! Cool! Right! He should totally be chill about this revelation!
“Stolas —!” Blitz starts to shout, but he's cut off by Stolas planting kisses all around his face.
“My Blitzy,” Stolas coos, smooching Blitz’s cheek. “So sweet~” Smooching his forehead. “So adorable~” Smooching between his eyes.
“Are you fucking kidding —?!” Blitz groans. “This isn't CUTE, I'm plotting murder! I'm a killer! A trained assassin! I'm fucking armed and dangerous!!”
“Oh, I know. Your gun is veeery impressive~” Stolas hums, planting another kiss on Blitz’s neck. “And so very big~”
Blitz can't help but laugh. “Dammit, Stolas!”
Stolas grabs Blitz’s face and pulls him in for a proper kiss. And fuck, if he's trying to distract Blitz, it works. Between the adrenaline coursing through Blitz’s veins and Stolas’ drunken state, the kissing grows sloppy and heated fast.
Blitz feels the stirring of arousal in his gut and that's when he knows it's time to pump the breaks. He breaks the kiss and pants out, “Alright, slow down, you spicy slut. You're waaaay too wasted for us to be suckin’ face like this.”
“Please, I'm hardly buzzed,” Stolas argues, the slur in his voice betraying his words. He slides down Blitz’s body, nuzzling at his stomach. “I want you, Blitz. I want to make you feel good,” he purrs before mouthing at Blitz’s dick through his pants.
Fuuuuuuuck. Blitz can't help the way his hips automatically cant upwards, seeking out the wet friction of Stolas’ tongue. His hand reflexively moves to the back of Stolas’ head, knocking off his hat so he can clutch the feathers there. Stolas moans in approval.
Shit. This was exactly what he'd been trying to get to happen with Stolas these past couple weeks, but of course NOW he's too drunk for it to happen. And Blitz is a piece of shit, sure, but he isn't the kind of scumbag who’d take advantage of a situation like this.
“The fuck happened to wanting to ‘take things sloooowly?’” Blitz retorts, doing a poor imitation of Stolas when quoting him. The effect is a little ruined by him choking out a groan at the end.
Stolas lifts his head again, the pupils appearing in his eyes almost looking heart shaped. “I can't take it any longer, Blitz. I need to have you now,” he declares with a shuddering breath. Then he dives back in with renewed effort, enough that Blitz wonders if that beak is going to shred his pants open.
And shit, why is this desperation doing it for Blitz? He shouldn't have opened his fat fucking mouth and goaded Stolas. His dick had already been twitching to life under the attention, but now it's definitely at more than half mast.
He knows he needs to stop Stolas, but he can't help bucking his hips up hard just one more time. Stolas moans louder, like he can't wait to swallow Blitz’s cock whole. His fingers fumble, trying to get the button on Blitz’s pants undone.
Blitz nearly tears up with the effort, but he manages to grab a harder hold of Stolas’ head feathers and yank him off his crotch. Of course that only makes the bitch moan more.
“Thaaat's ‘nuff for you, thirsty bird,” Blitz puffs out.
“Mmm but my thirst has hardly been quenched yet~” Stolas hums, moving his hand to slip underneath Blitz and grasping at the base of his tail, giving it a hard yank.
Titty fucking Christ! That’s playing SO fucking dirty! Blitz can’t hold back a moan, fully hard now.
Making matters worse, Stolas then slides his hand under the hem of Blitz’s pants, dragging his long finger down his taint.
Nooooope! Blitz has to put an end to this right now or he’s going to end up doing something real fucking stupid.
“Stolas, you gotta — shiiiit!” Blitz hisses as Stolas simultaneously drags his tongue over his clothed dick again and rubs his finger around the rim of his hole. “Satan fucking dammit!” he curses as he lifts his hips enough to allow his tail to wrap around Stolas’ wrist and yank it out of his pants. Blitz sits up and uses his free hand to roughly grab Stolas by the chin and force eye contact. “Fuckin’ LISTEN when I’m talkin’ to you, ho!”
“Yes, Blitzy?” Stolas replies in a tone that’s way too sweet and innocent for someone who was just trying to simultaneously choke himself on Blitz’s cock and talon fuck his little red hole.
Blitz huffs a laugh. "Look, much as I appreciate the cock drunk enthusiasm, you gotta sober your ass up first." He loosens his grip on Stolas' face and he can't help himself — He brushes his thumb over Stolas' cheek in a gentle caress. "Then if you still wanna guzzle down my cum like it's the last bottle of booze in Hell, you can."
Stolas whines. “What’s wrong with doing the guzzling now?”
“I just told you —” Blitz sighs. “Here, c’mon, sit up.” He gently extracts himself from under Stolas, ignoring the way his cock throbs painfully against his pants. Blitz stands up and offers Stolas a hand to help him up as well.
Stolas pouts, but accepts Blitz’s hand, standing up on wobbly legs. Blitz guides Stolas around so he can sit his ass on the couch.
“Stay here and I’ll get some water to help sober you up,” Blitz offers. He also needs to step away from Stolas so he can get his dick to calm down. Then maybe he’ll be able to focus enough to figure out what to actually do about Stolas being drunk and horny and sitting there like a hot, disheveled pin-up in Blitz’s shitty little apartment.
“Tea?” Stolas requests.
“Uhh yeah, sure!” Blitz agrees, even though he’s pretty sure he doesn’t have any tea. He’ll think of something.
“And then you’ll come back to kiss and cuddle?” Stolas asks, as though he hadn’t just been trying to fuck Blitz nasty on the floor.
“Yeah, yep, whatever you want, babe!” Blitz tells him as he marches over to the kitchen to start heating up some water.
Christ on a stick, Blitz feels like he needs a fucking drink now.
Notes:
I was also gifted adorable art for THIS chapter! Check it out HERE!
Chapter 6: An Inspirational Bonding Brunch
Summary:
Stolas (still drunk, still horny) spends the night at Blitz's apartment and the next morning brings an unexpected turn of events.
Notes:
Hellooooo! It's been a while, so I definitely recommend re-reading the last chapter cause we're pickin' up right where we left off! And before that, check out this super cute gift art for the last chapter right HERE!
So many thank yous once again to Treble and Sonnet for all your help and encouragement! It seriously means so much to me!
and thank you EVERYONE for your patience and understanding about me being such a slow fucking writer! Hope you all ENJOY!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Stolas is seated on the middle of the couch, his head still spinning from the absinthe he had tried to drown his sorrows in earlier. Usually when he drinks this much, he finds himself feeling numb; enough that all his pain seems distant and dull, at least for a little while.
But this time, a light and giddy feeling bubbles in his chest. It’s so unlike any drunken experience Stolas has had before. Of course he knows this has everything to do with his current company.
The sound of Blitz shuffling around in the kitchen draws Stolas' attention. After a particularly loud clang from some dishware, he turns his head 180 degrees to check on Blitz. Or perhaps check him out. Both are good.
His Blitzy looks fine, in every sense of the word. Stolas watches him fill a cup with water from the sink before taking a few large gulps of it. Blitz is facing away from him, so he doesn't see Stolas’ hungry gaze roving up and down his body. Stolas laments that he didn't remove any of Blitz’s clothes when he'd had the chance earlier.
Blitz turns around and startles when he spots Stolas staring at him, jolting and spilling some of his water. But he regains his composure quickly, lips tilting up in a smirk. "Uh huh, I see how it is! Just couldn't keep all those eyes off this sweet little ass, could ya?"
He's not wrong. "In my defense, darling, it's an absolutely captivating ass," Stolas counters.
Blitz snorts in amusement. "Yeah, alright, enjoy the show then, you fuckin' perv~" He turns around to give Stolas a clear view as he smacks his ass. Stolas can't look away. Blitz opens the refrigerator and then makes a show of bending down and swaying his bottom back and forth as he rummages around.
Stolas titters and enjoys the show, but only for a few moments before he turns back around. His Blitzy just oozes raw, animal sex appeal. Stolas doesn't know if he can resist him.
But resist he must. Blitz made it quite clear he did not wish to get intimate this evening… at least not yet. Stolas struggles to compose himself before his darling imp returns from the kitchen. It's no easy task with the growing heat pulsing between his legs, and he whines softly, pressing his thighs together.
There's a reason he's not supposed to sleep with Blitz yet anyway. A reason… he can't quite recall. All Stolas can think of right now is Blitz’s smouldering gaze, his clever fingers, his wicked tongue, and his thick, massive —
Stolas whines again and drags his palm down his clothed cloaca in search of some relief. It doesn't satisfy him the way Blitz would, but the friction still feels good, so he does it again. And again.
As he continues to stroke, Stolas can feel his slick starting to soak through the fabric of his pants. His talons scrabble against the hardwood floor as his hips roll in time with the movement of his hand. He digs his beak into his bottom lip to stifle his whimpers as he presses harder. He knows he should stop. And he will, of course. After just one more —
“Oh for fuck’s sake —!” Blitz groans. Stolas jolts at his unexpected presence; Blitz now standing next to the couch, clutching a steaming mug in each hand. He's removed the bowtie he was wearing, looking all the more ravishing with the top buttons on his shirt undone and his sleeves rolled up. “Dammit, Stolas! Can you just stop —” Stolas internally wilts with shame. “Just stop making my dick hard for two fucking seconds?? Fuck!”
Oh. Stolas brightens, his heart fluttering. It still feels surreal sometimes — that Blitz is attracted to him.
“We gotta kill the horny energy in here, ‘kay? So if you could stop rubbin’ your puss all over my couch like an eager little sex kitten, that would help a buuunch,” Blitz grumbles. Stolas’ intense gaze drops to the bulge in Blitz's pants.
“I know what will help…” Stolas offers, reaching out to grab at Blitz. He can't help it. His Blitzy is too tantalizing.
But Blitz nimbly evades Stolas, not spilling a drop of the tea in the process. “Noooope! Nice try, cock-slut! Dick store’s closed.”
Stolas pouts. “Closed?” he repeats, voice heavy with dismay.
Apparently Blitz finds this funny, because he laughs. “Alright, calm your feathered tits. Maybe not closed. On break? Out to lunch or some shit,” he consoles. “Now scoot your ass over.” Blitz uses his foot to point to the opposite side of the couch.
Stolas dutifully complies and Blitz starts to move closer, but pauses mid-step. “Hang on,” he mutters before using his tail to scoop up some pillows and pile them in the middle of the couch. “We’re gonna use this as our ‘no fucky time’ barrier. So keep your horny hands and your hot mouth and – and your tight ass on that side of the pillows!”
It's not a very tall barrier considering there's only two pillows. The whole thing is a little absurd. But even though Stolas knows it's not a serious rejection, he still feels a sudden sorrow grip at his heart. His frown deepens. “But you agreed to cuddle!” he protests.
“Looook, I know this song and dance — One minute it’s all sweet cinnamon roll cuddling and then the next we're humping like wild bitches in heat all night!” Blitz rants as he settles on the other side of the pillow barrier.
As always, Blitz’s bawdy candor makes Stolas giggle. “What if I promise to behave?” he asks, completely sincere.
“Oh, you’ll promise to behave, will you?” Blitz repeats, sarcasm heavy in his tone. He meets Stolas' wide-eyed gaze and after a moment his demeanor shifts. Blitz bites his bottom lip and his voice drops into a low purr. “You wanna behave, huh? You gonna be good for me, baby? Be a good boy for daddy~?”
Stolas shivers. If Blitz truly wants him to calm down, this certainly is not helping. “I — I do,” Stolas chokes out, clenching his thighs tightly together as heat throbs between his legs again.
“Yeahhh that's right, I know you do. You want the big boss to tell you exactly what to do,” Blitz continues in that sinfully sexy tone. Stolas nods rapidly, eager to please. Blitz smirks and Stolas leans closer, shaking with anticipation.
Suddenly Blitz thrusts out one of the mugs of tea so it's right in front of Stolas' face. “Then fuckin’ LISTEN to me already!” he barks out in his typical brash tone. “Suck this down first and then maybe we can see how good you are at suckin’ down other things.”
Stolas pouts, but accepts the mug, his fingers lingering against Blitz's for a long moment before they both pull away. “My, Blitz, your mind certainly is stuck firmly in the gutter for someone who doesn’t wish to copulate tonight,” Stolas points out, disappointment laced in his tone. He allows the heat from the mug to warm his hands, enjoying the feeling.
“Shut up, I'm still horny. S’your fault,” Blitz huffs. “And it’s not that I don’t wanna cop a feel, it’s just that it – it doesn’t fucking count if you’re too shitfaced to remember getting a good dicking down.”
“What doesn’t count?” Stolas wonders out loud, pausing halfway as he goes to take a sip of tea.
“Less yappin’, more swallowing, bitch,” Blitz orders before taking a long sip of his own drink.
Stolas follows his lead, but as soon as he tastes the beverage he nearly chokes in surprise, reflexively spitting some of the drink out. “W-what sort of tea is this?” he sputters, wiping at his face where some of the liquid has started dripping down his chin.
“Uhhh… spicy flavor?” Blitz answers, though he doesn’t exactly sound confident.
Stolas stares at his mug in confusion. It’s only now that he notices the water is bright red. “Spicy flavor?” he repeats, tone skeptical. This wasn’t like any spiced tea he’d ever tasted before.
He looks to Blitz, who appears to be sweating profusely. “Yeah, yep, it’s – it’s a spicy uhhhh…” He makes a rotating motion with his hand as he tries to find the right word. “Fuck! Alright, fine!” he finally cries out, throwing his hand up. “I don’t have any fancy shit like tea, so sue me! Tea’s just flavored water anyway, ain’t it?!”
Stolas’ muddled mind is struggling to follow along. “Well, um —”
“And spicy is the best flavor, obviously! So I just mixed some hot sauce with boiling water,” Blitz concludes, taking another gulp from his mug. “You know… it’s not half bad.”
There's a moment of stunned silence as Stolas processes what he just heard, and then he can’t help it — he bursts into a fit of laughter.
Blitz glares at him. “Hey asshole, I’m just workin’ with what I got!”
“I – I’m sorry, Blitzy, I — AH!” Stolas tries to console through his giggling, but he’s doubled over laughing so much that he accidentally slips off the couch, falling in a heap onto the floor and spilling some of his drink on himself.
“Aw shit, Stolas —!” Blitz quickly sets his drink down on an end table before moving to hover over Stolas. He plucks Stolas’ mug out of his grasp and sets it to the side. “Should of known you were too fucking hammered for a hot drink. You’re gonna burn yourself, dumbass,” Blitz complains, checking over Stolas and fussing over where the hot water had spilled on him. “I mean I know you’re probably into that, but we’re trying to stop bein’ horny here — woah!”
Stolas uses the moment to his advantage and grabs Blitz, pulling the imp on top of him for a crushing hug. He tucks Blitz’s face into the crook of his neck, still hooting out happy chuckles as he nuzzles his cheek against Blitz’s forehead. “I’m sorry,” Stolas tries again once he catches his breath. “I very much appreciate your efforts, truly.”
“Yeah, well, you got a weird-ass way of showin’ it,” Blitz complains, though he relaxes in Stolas' arms.
“You’re so considerate and – and no one’s ever —” Stolas’ voice gets too choked up to continue. He tightens his hold on Blitz, suddenly afraid of allowing him to slip away again. Stolas knows he’s being quite selfish, with how much of Blitz’s time he wishes to covet, but this past week had been so difficult without his presence. “I missed you so much, my darling…”
He feels Blitz stiffen against him and Stolas’ heart sinks. But after a moment, Blitz’s tail winds around his thigh and his claws card gently through his chest feathers. “I think you’re very drunk,” Blitz remarks softly.
“I’m hardly tipsy,” Stolas counters, even as his vision spins while he stares up at the ceiling. It looks so different from his own home… So close to the floor, with cracks and peeling paint. The rug he's lying on scratches against his feathers as he shifts his head. He would feel cold if not for Blitz’s warm presence in his arms.
Stolas realizes the whole ordeal should be uncomfortable, and yet he feels so much more tranquil right now than he usually ever does in his palace.
It’s then that it suddenly hits him: He’s lying on the hard floor in Blitz’s apartment. He’s in Blitz’s home.
Stolas abruptly swings up into a sitting position, lifting Blitz along with him. “Woah what the fuck —!” Blitz yelps, his arms and legs wrapping around Stolas’ torso as he clings to him. Stolas rubs Blitz’s back in a soothing manner as he rotates his head around to fully take in the surroundings.
Obviously, Stolas always knew Blitz had to live somewhere outside his office, but he’d never actually given any thought to what that might look like. It’s small, but there’s a charm about it that Stolas can’t quite place. It looks lived-in. Homey in a way that his meticulously polished palace never looks, though clearly lacking in the luxuries Stolas has at his disposal.
“Eeeverything alright up there, birdbrain?” Blitz asks, reaching up to stroke Stolas' cheek.
“We’re in your apartment!” Stolas exclaims to explain his behavior.
“Uh huh. ‘Hardly tipsy,’ my little red ass. Think you’re gonna need to sleep this one off, birdie,” Blitz shakes his head.
“Aren’t you going to give me a tour?” Stolas pouts.
Blitz snorts in amusement. “It’s a shitty one bedroom apartment, so. I mean, this is – this is it,” he gestures to their surroundings with a limp flick of the wrist. “There ya go. Tour’s over, now you’ve seen it. Woopdie-fuckin’-do.”
“Nonsense! There's plenty to see!” Stolas protests, trying to clamber to his feet. Blitz sighs, releasing Stolas and standing in one fluid motion.
“Not really,” Blitz argues. “I mean there's a bathroom, obviously, but —” He pauses a moment. “Actually, yeah, I'll show you where the toilet’s at 'cause I got a feeling you're gonna be puking your guts out real bad real soon.”
Blitz takes Stolas' hand and tries to tug him along, but the owl is distracted by the opposite wall. There's an array of photographs and drawings that Stolas wants to get a closer look at, so he pulls Blitz along with him towards the objects of his interest.
“Bathroom’s hgg –! This way –! Big bird!” Blitz grunts with effort as he tries to plant his feet and yank Stolas towards the bathroom door, to no avail.
Stolas doesn't really hear him, too focused on his task. “My, you certainly draw a lot of horses,” Stolas notices as surveys the artwork. He remembers their conversation in the bath last week. “Your characters?”
Blitz stops trying to yank Stolas in the opposite direction and brightens. “Some of ‘em! Heh, you know how the saying goes: You can never look at too many gift horses in the house!”
Stolas' brow furrows in confusion. Is there a saying like that?
He doesn't argue though, instead turning his attention to the many photographs lining the wall. Stolas spots the familiar faces of Millie, Moxxie, and Loona in most of them, with Blitz noticeably absent.
Except upon further inspection, Stolas realizes that's not true. The crease in his brow deepens when he notices that strokes of black ink have blocked out Blitz's face in each one.
A hot anger surges through Stolas. How DARE someone defile his darling’s face like this?! Who would have the gall to vandalize Blitz's handsome, loveable, perfect face?! Why are the sullied photos even hanging here like —
Like —
That's when the realization hits Stolas. He recognizes this behavior all too well from his own experience. Meticulously making sure the drapery had covered over his own face on the portraits that lined the walls of his palace.
Blitz is the one who did this.
Stolas feels like the air has been punched out of his lungs. How could someone as brilliant and confident and exceptional as Blitz see himself as anything less? It seems unfathomable. And yet…
“Oh shit, you're gonna throw up, aren't you? I fuckin’ knew it,” Blitz hisses, gently taking both of Stolas' hands and leading him back toward the bathroom. “Here, don't worry, I’ll hold your feathers back for ya while you hurl.”
“I'm fine, Blitz,” Stolas assures him as he follows along. “Really! I hardly drank much at all, I promise.”
“Stolas, okay, c’mon. I saw you suckin’ down whole ass bottles of booze faster than you tried suckin’ down my cock earlier, so don't give me that shit,” Blitz argues.
But Stolas isn’t interested in continuing to argue. There’s a much more pressing matter to address. He's overcome with the need to lavish Blitz with affection and praise. To make sure Blitz knows how incredible he is.
Stolas abruptly halts, placing a hand to his chest. “Well, now that you mention it… I do believe I feel a stirring…”
“Yeah, no shit, that's your stomach tellin’ ya —”
“In my heart~!” Stolas interrupts, draping the back of his arm over his forehead in a dramatic manner. “Oh, Blitzy! I'm falling~!” He pretends his knees are buckling in order to fall into Blitz's arms.
“What the fuu — oh, okay,” Blitz deadpans as he catches Stolas.
“Oh, my darling! Is it any wonder my knees are positively weak in the presence of such a charming, gorgeous, strong, sexy, delightful imp~?” Stolas coos, nuzzling his face against the side of Blitz's horn.
Blitz snorts. “Mmmkay! This is too much cheese, even for my tastes! Come on drunky-poo, let's sit your ass back down. I'm sure I can find you a bucket or I don't fuckin’ know — a hat or something in case you need to hurl.” He carries Stolas along as he walks back towards the couch, the owl too busy trying to plant kisses all around Blitz's face to care.
“I'm being serious!” Stolas cries, distraught by the notion that Blitz does not know how amazing he is. “You're the most wonderful man I've ever met!”
“Yeah, well, I got a peep at the kind of men you're used to dealing with, and I gotta tell ya — the bar ain't too high,” Blitz counters, setting Stolas down on the couch and patting his knee in a consoling manner.
Stolas’ head swivels back and forth, surprised by the sudden appearance of the couch underneath him. He's momentarily distracted from his objective. “But we haven't finished the tour! Won't you show me your bedroom?” Stolas pleads, turning his head to look at the door he presumes is the bedroom.
“That's Loonie's room,” Blitz informs him. As does the rather large sign on the door that reads: ‘Loona's room.’ Oh.
Stolas turns back to Blitz, brows lifting in surprise. “Loona lives here as well?”
“Yeah, don't worry, she went out with some friends tonight,” Blitz assures Stolas as he shoves the pillows aside and takes a seat next to him on the couch. “No one but me around to see what a sappy, sloppy drunken ho you are.” He shoves his shoulder against Stolas’ side playfully.
Stolas huffs out a light laugh. He isn't usually like this when he drank, but there's no way Blitz could know that.
He looks down, hands fidgeting against the worn couch cushions. It occurs to him that if this is only a one bedroom apartment as Blitz said, then it's quite likely he spends his nights sleeping on this very couch.
The notion is touching to Stolas; that Blitz would sacrifice his own comfort for his daughter’s happiness. Stolas always tries to do the same, though he’s been doing a terrible job of it lately. “You're such a good father,” he warbles, reaching out to grasp one of Blitz's hands. “I… I wonder if you might be able to teach me how to be the same.”
If Blitz is confused by the change in subject, he doesn't show it. He puffs out a quiet chuckle. “Damn, Stols. 'Least buy me dinner before you go askin’ me to co-parent with you,” Blitz quips.
A heavy silence stretches between them after that. It’s clearly a joke, but even still, Stolas finds his heart racing at the notion of parenting together with Blitz. Raising their daughters together. Like a married —
“WATER!” Blitz suddenly yells, leaping up from the couch like it had burned him. “Shit! You didn’t drink any water yet. I’m gonna just — Don’t worry, I’ll get the non-spicy kind this time,” he promises before scurrying off to the kitchen again.
The loss of physical contact is disappointing, but Stolas at least uses the opportunity to get more comfortable and removes his cape, draping it over the armrest of the couch. He also tries to smooth back his head feathers and hopes he looks artfully disheveled — though he knows it’s far more likely he just looks like a mess. A mess who’s the furthest thing from husband or co-parenting material possible…
He undoes another button on his shirt, figuring it couldn’t hurt to try and look a little more enticing, if possible.
Blitz returns with a whole plastic pitcher full of water. “Alright you’re a big bird so, I mean I dunno, this seems like a good amount to get in ya.” He holds out the pitcher for Stolas to take. “And how about some incentive to really sweeten the pot, eh? Drink all this and then we’ll get our snuggle on, whaddya say?”
Stolas doesn’t need to be asked twice. He takes the pitcher and chugs the contents immediately.
Blitz watches in stunned silence. “… Yeah alright, that one’s on me. Should of seen that comin’ a fuckin’ mile away.”
Once empty, Stolas tosses the pitcher to the side and it clangs harshly against the wood floor.
“Biiitch —!” Blitz starts to scold, but Stolas interrupts by pulling him closer using the belt loops of his pants.
“I believe cuddles were promised~?” Stolas purrs, his voice low and husky.
Blitz huffs and drags a hand down his face. “Christ on a stick, only you could make a snuggle sesh sound that stupidly horny,” he gripes. “Yeah alright, hold your clingy ass horses. Let me just —” Blitz knocks Stolas’ hands away and backs up, shucking off his boots.
Stolas leans back as Blitz climbs on top of him, then wraps his arms around the imp to pull him into an embrace. Despite the grumbling, Blitz practically collapses face-first into Stolas' chest fluff with a happy-sounding groan. Stolas' hoots sound equally delighted as he runs his hands up and down Blitz's back and horns, gently caressing.
Blitz’s tail mimics Stolas' motions, running up and down his leg lazily. He turns his head to the side so it's just his cheek squished against Stolas' chest as he asks, “There. Fuckin’ happy now?”
Stolas is extremely content, even despite the couch being too small for him to properly stretch out his legs. “Very much so,” he hums. But then a troubling thought occurs to him. Stolas flounders for a moment before tentatively asking, “And… are you happy too, Blitz…?”
Blitz sighs, long and drawn out. Stolas braces himself for the worst when Blitz finally huffs, “I mean, I’d be happier if my dick would get the memo and calm the fuck down. Real sorry if you feel any poking and prodding, but to be fair you look all ruffled up and flushed like you just got a good fucking and it’s really doin’ it for me.”
“Oh my,” Stolas laughs, his heart instantly feeling lighter. “Of course you know my offer to help still stands…”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. We’re a couple of horny bastards, you and me. Two peas in a fuckin’ pod.”
The imagery of being wrapped together tight with Blitz in a pea pod makes Stolas giggle.
Blitz uses his tail to pull a blanket over them as he goes on, “Look, let’s just cuddle for a bit. But we oughta portal you home eventually.”
“O-oh. Yes, of course,” Stolas agrees, his voice turning into a choked whisper. He reflexively holds Blitz tighter.
Blitz groans. “Hey c’mon, why do you sound so fucking bummed, like — like one of your plants just shriveled up and died?”
Stolas blinks up at the ceiling, his mind turning over in confusion. “How do you know what I sound like when one of my plants dies?”
“Don’t avoid the damn question,” Blitz snaps back.
Stolas is quiet as he contemplates his answer. He avoids the question and sniffles, "I'm so grateful you surprised me tonight. It's been so nice… spending time with you.”
There’s a long stretch of silence after that. Stolas doesn’t know what else to say. He doesn’t want to prattle on and say anything that will make Blitz suggest it’s time for him to leave.
Finally Blitz speaks up. “How about you rest your eyes for a bit, birdie?” After a pause, he adds, “I’ll be right here. I can wake you in a bit.”
“Alright,” Stolas agrees. Resting his eyes does sound rather nice. Blitz is a warm, comforting weight on top of him, making Stolas already feel drowsy despite the weathered couch not doing his back any favors. He shuts his eyes and drifts to sleep within moments.
~~~
Stolas wakes to the distant sound of something heavy crashing against the floor followed by hissed cursing. There's a dull ache in his head as he blinks his eyes open, his vision bleary.
He's confused for a moment as he looks up at the unfamiliar ceiling bathed in red morning light. But then he notices the warm weight of Blitz stirring awake on top of him and the memories of last night come flooding back. Oh dear. Had he really slept over on Blitz's couch all night?
Blitz is straddling Stolas' waist as he sits up and looks around. His groggy eyes widen when they land on Loona’s bedroom door. Stolas lifts himself up on his elbows and peers over to see Loona frozen with her paw on her bedroom door knob.
“Heeeey, wait just a fuckin’ minute!” Blitz exclaims, his voice as loud as usual despite only having just woken up. “Don't think I didn't notice you're still in yesterday’s clothes, little missy! You're just gettin' in!” He jabs a finger in her direction as he makes the accusation.
Loona groans, her shoulders slumping. “Get off my back, Blitz! I didn't wanna drink and drive last night.”
Blitz's demeanour softens. “Ok, well, I'm proud of you for being responsible and safe and perfect… But you oughta know you can call me whenever! Any time, any place! I can portal right to you!” He gestures to his left arm, even though it's not currently adorned with the crystal.
“Yeah, well, you were clearly busy last night,” Loona snarks, her gaze moving pointedly towards Stolas.
Blitz looks at Stolas underneath him like he just noticed they were in this compromising position. “Whaaat? We didn't — we weren't doing anything that would've — Tch! You! You still could of called!!”
“Right. You weren't doing anything aaaall over that couch,” Loona rolls her eyes. “You better be getting that thing steam cleaned, by the way.”
“Loona! Give me some credit here, would ya!” Blitz protests. “If we were gonna get nasty, I would have taken it to the bathroom —”
“Gross.”
“— in case you came home! To spare your sweet innocent eyes from seeing your father doing... things,” Blitz concludes.
The implication makes Stolas blush. He shifts to sit up properly and turns to Loona. “I do apologize for intruding. Truly, I hadn't meant to fall asleep here,” he tries to explain, brushing back his head feathers in an attempt to make himself look somewhat presentable.
Loona doesn't respond right away and instead stares at Stolas. Her gaze is piercing and he feels himself start to sweat under the scrutiny. He fidgets and re-fastens some of his shirt buttons that had come undone last night.
Finally Loona shrugs. “Whatever. Not like I was even here anyway.” She turns around and trudges over to the kitchen, seemingly done with the conversation. Stolas' shoulders relax as she retreats. Blitz lets out a loud exhale too.
“Sooo! How you holding up, birdie? You don't look nearly as jacked up as I expected after getting that shitfaced,” Blitz observes, sliding off Stolas' lap. Stolas pulls his feet off the couch to give Blitz room to sit.
“Oh, you're being too kind, I think,” Stolas murmurs, continuing to try and smooth down his unruly feathers.
“Pft! Since fuckin’ — when? I tell it like it is, bitch!” Blitz retorts, waving a hand to gesture up and down Stolas' body. “Actually! It's kind of pissing me off how good you look. Whenever my sorry ass wakes up hungover, I look like a rancid piece of shit that's just been scraped off someone's shoe.”
The description startles a laugh out of Stolas. He tries to hold it back, but it comes out sounding like an undignified snort-laugh.
Blitz's eyes light up and his tail swishes back and forth as he goes on, “Yeah! Yeah, but not even a solid piece of shit — like the mushy, diarrhea kind that stains the shoe up REAL nasty —”
Stolas can't contain his hooting giggles. “Oh Blitzy, no!” he cries between laughs. “I-I'm very sure that’s not true at all!”
Blitz looks like he's about to keep the bit going, but he's interrupted by Loona calling out from the kitchen. “Bliiiitz! We don't have jack shit to eat in here!” Her nose is wrinkled as she pinches a moldy piece of bread between her fingers.
"Aw shit, sorry sweetie!” Blitz winces, casting a brief worried glance at Stolas before turning his attention back to Loona. “I gotta — I'll grab some groceries when I'm out today.”
Stolas is certain he must be intruding at this point. “Thank you, Blitz, for being such a gracious host last night while I was — Well — I don’t wish to trouble you any further. I best take my leave so you can get on with your day,” Stolas stutters out as he stands up. He spots his cape on the floor and uses magic to levitate it into his hands.
Blitz stands as well and he almost looks… disappointed? Stolas is certain he must just be projecting his own emotions onto Blitz. “Right, right. I’m sure you got… princey shit to do or whatever.”
Stolas' responding chuckle is dry. “Oh, not really. Mostly I need to figure out how to apologize to my dear Via before she gets home from staying with her mother.” He knows he’ll likely spend the day in his study, obsessing over the best way to beg her forgiveness.
“Damn, you fucked up with her again?” Loona scoffs as she makes her way back over, leaning her arm against the back of the couch. “Is it some kind of rule that dads gotta hit a ‘fucking up’ quota every month or what?”
“Heeeey! I’ll have you know, I’ve only fucked up…” Blitz starts to count off on his fingers, but runs out of them. “BARELY any times this month!”
“We’re only halfway through the month. Just wait. There’ll be pleeenty more,” Loona retorts.
Blitz's reply is drowned out by the sound of Stolas' dramatic groan. “I’m afraid Loona is right! I keep fucking up and I’ve no clue what to do!” he cries, covering his face with his hands.
“Ugh, ok, no need to get all pathetic about it,” Loona huffs. “I mean, I guess if you want… I was Via’s age before… I could like, give you advice or whatever.”
Stolas' head whips up, eyes wide and shocked. “You would do that for me?”
“Yeah, you would do that for him??” Blitz repeats, looking equally stunned.
“Sure. But it'll cost ya, old man. You're buying breakfast — or lunch — fuck, what time is it?”
“Of course! I’d be happy to treat you,” Stolas quickly agrees. What an incredibly small price to pay for some tremendous help.
Blitz brightens. “Ohh! Great idea, Loonie-toonie!” He claps his hands together and starts to walk around the couch. “A greasy ol’ heart-attack-on-a-plate sounds like just what the doctor ordered! How about we go to —”
“Who the fuck said you're going?” Loona interrupts.
Blitz pauses mid-step. “Wh – whaddya — Uh! ‘Course I’m goin’!” he protests. “My babies can't have a bonding lunch without their daddy!!”
Stolas quickly covers his mouth, but can't contain his delighted hoot. Loona groans. “Aaaand that's why we're leaving your nasty ass here!” She turns toward the door, as though ready to leave Blitz in the dust this very moment.
“Ho-oh! Hold on —!” Blitz tries to continue arguing, following after Loona.
This time Stolas interrupts him. “But darling, didn't you say you had plans today?” he asks as he recalls their conversation from a week ago. “That's why we tried to plan a date for yesterday. Isn't that so?”
Blitz stops in his tracks. “Fuuuuck me. Yeah. Yeah, I did say that.” He runs a hand down his face as he groans. “Almost fuckin' forgot I told Fizz we'd hang out. Shit.” He seems lost in thought for a moment before going on, “But I can totally bail on —!”
“Noooope! Go hang out with your dumb friend and stop bitching about not being invited,” Loona says to Blitz before turning and nodding to Stolas. “Come on, let's hit the road.”
“Right now?!” Stolas looks down at himself with alarm. “Oh, but I really should change — I'm still in the clothes I wore last night —” he tries to politely protest.
“Yeah, join the club,” Loona replies, unsympathetic. “You want my help? Then move it or lose it.” With that, she starts walking towards the door.
Oh dear. Stolas starts to follow Loona, only to stop when he notices Blitz looking after them with wide, sad eyes; clearly disappointed he's not joining their outing.
The sight makes Stolas' heart twist with guilt. “Blitz, we don't have to —” he starts to offer.
“Nah,” Blitz interrupts with the shake of his head, his expression softening. “You two go have fun, ‘kay? Just promise you’ll catch me up on the deets later!”
Stolas smiles. “Of course, darling,” he agrees, leaning down to give Blitz a kiss goodbye.
Their lips are only a hair apart when Loona barks out from the doorway, “Move your ASS or I'm leaving without you!” She continues to walk out the door to illustrate her point.
“Oh! I–I’ll call you later!” Stolas promises Blitz before turning to scamper after Loona.
“Don't do anything I would do!” Blitz calls after him. “And don't worry about me! I’ll be busy with my own thing!”
~~~
No way is Blitz going to be busy with his own thing. He’s going to have his cake and eat it out too.
First though, he needs a disguise. Sure, his get-up last night hadn't worked at all, but this time is going to be different. This time Blitz is going with his plan A: dressing up as a hot blonde.
Fortunately Blitz has a good number of mission-ready costumes stashed at the office. He rushes to grab the crystal and makes sure to fire off a text to Fizz before he leaves. It reads: ‘git ur best gurl fit on whore im pikin u up in 10’
His phone buzzes with Fizz’s reply only a moment later: ‘BITCH us classy gals need 15 to get ready!’
Blitz scoffs. “Prima-fuckin’-dona,” he mutters to himself before rubbing a portal out of the crystal. Though he is glad that convincing Fizz to get dressed up on a whim is all too fucking easy.
He's also glad that he knows exactly where Loona likes to go for hangover food. So twenty minutes later, Blitz finds himself with Fizz outside a run-down diner, dressed to impress in their best drag outfits.
“Alright I know this is askin' a lot from your flashy ass, but let's try and keep this lowkey, 'kay?” Blitz tells Fizz as he does a last minute adjustment to the large blonde wig he's wearing. “We don't need every perv in there comin' around trying to sniff up our assholes.”
Fizz snorts. “Really? You're trying to give me shit about attracting creeps while you're the one wearing that slutty little skirt? Girl, please!”
“What! Fuck you, this look is hot and classy!” Blitz looks down at himself and okay sure, the skirt is kind of short, but it's not like his ass is hanging out of it. And yeah, he's wearing a tight crop top, but he's also wearing a leather jacket over it! “I look like a bad bitch dommy mommy — You look like someone shit rainbows all over your gay ass.” Blitz gestures to Fizz’s offending outfit: A puffy rainbow fur coat, striped shorts, fishnet stockings, and a shirt with a star pattern embroidered over each tit.
“Uh, get with the times, mom. You just don't understand fashion like MOI!” Fizz retorts, flipping the hair of his pink wig with a flourish.
“Whatever, just — C’mon!” Blitz urges Fizz to follow him inside. Time is wasting and he could be missing tons of shit happening between his Loonie and his Stolas.
Blitz takes a deep breath and prays to fucking Satan that they're actually here before carefully creeping inside. Luckily, Stolas is such a tall bitch even while sitting that Blitz spots the pair at a booth immediately.
Unfortunately, as Blitz tries to scope out the best seats to eavesdrop from, he notices that every fucker in this shithole diner decided they wanted to sit near that particular booth. With an annoyed groan, Blitz quickly grabs Fizz by the wrist and yanks him towards an open booth that at least has a good view to spy from.
“Ohhh! Not so rough, mommy~!” Fizz moans.
“Would you shut the fuck up??” Blitz hisses, his cheeks growing warm. He shoves Fizz into the booth a little harder than necessary just for fucking with him.
“Ow! Sheesh, tough crowd,” Fizz grumbles before making himself comfortable and grabbing for one of the menus sitting on the table top. He browses it for only a moment before glancing back up at Blitz, who's taken a seat across from him. “Sooo not that I don't love a girl’s day, but what's the occasion anyway?”
Blitz is in the middle of pulling out his huge pair of binoculars as he replies, “No occasion! Just felt like dressin’ up, havin’ a little fuuun.” He peers through the binoculars and sees Stolas looking troubled, his brow furrowed. Why does he look like that? Is he talking about Blitz??
“Uh huh,” Fizz deadpans. “Yoooink!” he says out loud as he reaches over, using one of his mechanical arms to snatch the binoculars right out of Blitz's grasp. He whirls around, clearly trying to get a peek at whatever Blitz was peeping at.
“Titty-fucking bitch ass —!” Blitz starts to curse, but he's interrupted by Fizz.
“Ooooh! Stalkin’ your princey-poo, huh? I see how it is!” Fizz chortles. “Hey how'd he like the Dragon Driller 5000 anyway?”
Blitz groans. He'd rather not think about that night. “Bitch, gimmie back my snooping gear!” He leans across the table, trying to swipe the binoculars back. Unfortunately Fizz is too slippery and evades Blitz.
Fizz ignores him. “Hmm didn't work out, huh? Guess you need to work on your technique if he's already out on a date with someone else!”
“Ew, don't be disgusting, that's my daughter!” Blitz huffs, offended even though Fizz couldn't have known that.
Fizz finally lowers the binoculars and looks back over at Blitz, his eyes wide with surprise. “You have a daughter now?”
“Yeah, adopted, but — Yes. That's right!” Blitz insists, crossing his arms as he starts to feel a little defensive the more Fizz stares at him. “So fuckin' what??”
But Fizz doesn't berate him. “Huh…” he mumbles, still looking surprised. “Well, lucky for her she’s adopted so she doesn't risk lookin’ a thing like ya.”
“Hardy fuckin’ har,” Blitz deadpans, giving Fizz an unimpressed look, though the tension leaves his shoulders.
“So what's she doing getting lunch with Stolas? Giving him the ol’ shovel talk?”
“Obviously they went out without me so they could talk shit about me, why else?” Blitz grumbles as he makes grabby hands for the binoculars again. “Now gimmie my peepers back, I was trying to read their lips.”
“Why didn't you say so! I'm an expert lip reader! Allooow me!” Fizz offers cheerfully, turning back around to peer at the pair through the binoculars again. Blitz slams his face against the table in frustration.
Fizz hums as he observes Loona and Stolas. “Uh oh,” he finally speaks up, sounding serious. “They ARE talking shit about you.”
Blitz whips his head up so fast he almost dislodges his wig. “I fuckin’ KNEW it!” he seethes. “The fuck are they saying?!”
“Alright, alright, hang on. Ok so princey is saying: ‘About Blitz… I have to know…’” Fizz recites. Blitz holds his breath, gripping the table hard. “... ‘What's the DEAL with all his blonde bimbo wigs??’”
Blitz's face falls, all the adrenaline leaving his body as his shoulders drop.
Fizz goes on, oblivious. “And your daughter, she's saying: ‘I don't know, I guess it makes him feel pretty? Just roll with it if he asks you to call him mommy —’”
“For FUCK’S SAKE!” Blitz snarls, finally snatching back the binoculars. Fizz only cackles in response. “You forget I'm an assassin now? I'm not above strangling you for being a little shit.”
“Ooo kinky~”
Blitz is moments away from leaping over the table to make good on his threat when a waitress finally arrives.
“Sorry ‘bout the wait,” she greets in a monotone, nodding at Fizz. “Do you ladies know what you want?” Then she turns her gaze to Blitz and her half-lidded eyes go wide. She continues on, tone more cheerful, “I mean… I can comp your drinks. Because of the wait.”
Fizz breaks out in a wide smile. “Awww! We didn't mind waiting! Ain't that sweet of her though, Ma?” He looks at Blitz, eyebrows waggling and tone teasing.
But Blitz isn’t paying attention. The waitress is blocking his view of Stolas and Loona, so he's preoccupied with craning his neck to try and peer around her. “Yeah, yeah, she's a real peach or whatever,” he replies, distracted.
Fizz snickers, flicking open his menu. “‘Kay, I’ll haaaave… a big ol' cherry cola float and a double bacon cheeseburger. Oh! And a side of pancakes!”
“Got it,” the waitress replies, writing the order down on her little notepad. She turns to Blitz and shyly tucks a loose strand of her hair back. “And for you?”
“Yeah, could I get you to just —” Blitz reaches out to take a hold of the waitress’ shoulder and nudges her slightly to the side. “Theeeere we go.”
The waitress blushes and Fizz shakes his head, though his grin is amused. “She’ll have what I'm having,” Fizz answers.
“Cool, great choice,” the waitress compliments, her eyes never leaving Blitz even though he didn't make any choices. “That’ll, uh, that’ll be out shortly.” And with that she turns and departs.
Fizz props his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his threaded together fingers. “Soooo how's that whole ‘I fuck who I want, when I want’ thing goin’ for ya?” he asks, expression smug.
Blitz sighs, eyes still glued to Loona and Stolas, frustrated that he can't read their lips for shit. “What?” he asks, still distracted.
“Oh you know, that ‘I'm not gonna be tied down to some big, blue-bood asshole’ thing. How's that going?” Fizz tries again, quoting Blitz with a very unflattering impression.
Blitz finally turns his attention back to Fizz. “It's goin’ fuckin’ GREAT, what the fuck about it?” he lies.
“Nothin’,” Fizz shrugs, feigning innocence. “I just think it's interesting how you totally ignored that cute waitress who was weirdly into you. Couldn't tear your eyes off your birdie boy, huuuh~?”
“Oh please! She's not into —” Blitz starts to argue, but he's interrupted by the waitress returning with their drinks.
“Enjoy,” she says as she places a float in front of each of them, both with extra whipped cream on top. Blitz is about to use the identical drinks as proof and rub it in Fizz's face when the waitress goes on, “And… I thought you might need some extra napkins too…”
She slides a napkin over to Blitz before scurrying away. On it, he can see her name and number written down.
“You were saying?” Fizz teases, looking smug. Blitz groans.
“Look, I don't just throw myself at any skank who offers me a free drink, ‘kay?” Blitz argues, crumpling the napkin up and throwing it at Fizz's face. “Like why does it mean anything that I don't want that bitch’s herpes?”
“Mmm,” Fizz hums as he takes a loud, slurping sip from his drink straw. He does not look the least bit convinced, and Blitz starts feeling defensive again.
“And y’know what? No SHIT I ignored her! My daughter and my —” Blitz falters for a moment. “Stolas are bonding for the first time and it has the potential to be a shit covered dumpster fire, alright? Loonie's not easy to impress and Stolas is kind of a fucking idiot.”
“Hmm so you want your daughter to like your man, huh?” Fizz asks with a shit eating grin.
“That's not —! Fuckin’—! I — I’m being a protective father!!” Blitz insists.
“Don't you mean mother?” Fizz jokes. Before Blitz can banter back, Fizz scoots both their giant drinks to the side so they can look eye to eye. His demeanor gets serious. “Hey… You know it's not actually a big deal if you caught feelings for him, right?”
Blitz scoffs. “Oh yeah, right, sure. Tooootally not a big deal for a little dickwad like me to catch feelings for an immortal prince.” He rolls his eyes and scoots his drink so it's back to blocking most of Fizz's line of sight.
“Uh, hello, did you forget who you're talking to here? I'm literally PROOF that a great relationship with a royal is totally possible!” Fizz leans to the side to look at Blitz as he argues. After a moment he adds, “Even for a little dickwad like you!”
Blitz rolls his eyes. He thinks: No SHIT it's possible for Fizz… He's exceptional. Out loud he says, “Yeah no shit it's possible for you… you're an idiot.”
“Mmmhmm remind me, which of us idiots is the one who got her man? Oh that's right! ME!” Fizz retorts with another flip of his wig hair. But then his demeanor softens again. “Come oooon! You're crazy enough about him to get all dolled up and spy on him like this — that's not nothin’!”
Blitz sweats and doesn't mention that this is the second time in two days he's gotten dressed up to stalk Stolas.
Fizz continues on, “You shouldn't just ignore strong feelings like that!”
“Ugh, let me guess… You think I should just talk to him about my feewings~?” Blitz mocks. Satan’s balls, he’s sick of everyone giving him that shitty advice.
“I mean, I don't know, I'm just saying you should like, ask him out,” Fizz suggests as he scoops up a large spoonful of ice cream.
“We've already gone out — a, y’know, a couple times,” Blitz explains, leaving out the fact that it was only because of his amnesia lie and Stolas' boyfriend lie.
“Soooo wuz even th’ problem then?” Fizz asks around a mouthful of ice cream.
The problem is that Blitz inevitably ruins everyone's lives. That Stolas deserves way better. That eventually, after spending enough time with Blitz, he'll realize that too.
“Who the fuck said there's a problem?” Blitz deflects.
Fizz rolls his eyes. “Hey, you're the one over here thinking your man and your daughter are out to lunch just to talk shit about you.” He scoops up some whipped cream on his finger and uses his mechanical arm to reach over and boops Blitz's nose, smearing the whipped cream. “You gotta lighten up! Have fun and enjoy your time with him! And all that jazz!”
Blitz slaps Fizz's hand away and licks the whipped cream off his nose. He isn't about to admit it out loud, but maaaaybe Fizz sort of has a point. Blitz could afford to loosen up and enjoy himself (a little) during his quest to fuck Stolas' brains out.
And then he could worry about his stupid idiot moronic dumbass feelings after they fucked about it. “Alright, alright fine, I get it. Can we fucking talk about something that doesn't involve my sexy entanglements now??”
“Says the gal who brought me along to stalk her sexy entanglement,” Fizz ribs. “But yeah, how ‘bout we talk about MY sex life for a change? The other night, me and Oz —”
Blitz takes a loud, slurping sip out of his drink to try and drown Fizz out, but that only prompts the jester to talk louder. They start to attract attention from others and Blitz hisses at Fizz to shut the fuck up as he grabs a menu to duck behind.
Shit. He hopes Loona and Stolas didn't notice him.
~~~
Loona picks a quaint little diner for their brunch. It's another new experience for Stolas. Typically, Goetia dine at much more upscale venues.
As expected, most of the patrons are imps and hell hounds. Stolas notices many of their eyes linger on him, and he's sure it's because he looks like quite the mess.
A sign near the host stand directs patrons to seat themselves, so Stolas follows Loona and quickly folds himself into the booth she chooses, trying not to draw any unnecessary attention to himself. There's already menus at the table, so Stolas takes one to peruse while he tries to figure out how to start a conversation with Loona. He'd had no luck on the journey here and he's still at a loss.
It doesn't help matters that Stolas is a little nervous. Blitz clearly cares for his daughter a tremendous deal and Stolas wants her to like him. To approve of him.
He's about to thank Loona again for offering to help with Octavia when she suddenly speaks up. “Sooo you and my dad are a thing now, huh?”
Stolas is surprised. He didn't expect her to broach the topic so soon. “Ah — Y-yes. Indeed we are,” he stutters out. “Why do you ask? Are you concerned about my, ah… intentions with him?”
Loona snorts. “Nah, Blitz can take care of himself.”
Stolas used to believe as much too. But now, as he recalls the scratched out photographs he saw hanging on Blitz's apartment wall, he wonders if that's really true.
Loona goes on, “To be honest, I'm more worried about you.”
“About me? Whatever for?” Stolas asks, eyes wide with surprise.
“Yeah I mean, you know, Blitz…” Loona starts to count off on her fingers as she goes on. “He's obnoxious, he has no filter and pretty much just says whatever disgusting shit pops into his head, he doesn't respect boundaries, sometimes he'll act like an asshole for literally no reason…” She levels Stolas with an inquiring stare. “You think you can handle all that?”
He's touched by her concern, but Stolas supposes that Loona wouldn't feel nearly so worried about him if she ever had the misfortune to meet Stella. Compared to what he was used to dealing with, Blitz's flaws seem positively tame. One time Stella threw a (full, hot) teapot at his head just because she didn't like the sound he made when he'd sipped his drink. Fortunately he’d managed to dodge it.
Stolas could never imagine Blitz doing something quite so callous to him. And thinking of Blitz just being who he is makes Stolas smile. “Blitz really does say whatever comes to mind doesn't he?” Stolas titters. “I rather enjoy his lack of a ‘filter,’ as you say.”
“Yeah, you say that now, but trust me, he can go into preeetty gross detail about things you don't want to hear.” Loona points out.
“Mmm well last week he did go into rather too much detail about the state of his bowel movements when he was cancelling our plans,” Stolas recalls. “I suppose it's instances like this you're referring to?”
Loona laughs. “Holy shit, yeah, like that,” she agrees.
“It is a bit much sometimes, isn't it?” Stolas laughs fondly.
“Right? Like, TMI dude, c’mon!” Loona laughs again.
Once their laughter dies down, Stolas goes on. “But to answer your question dear, I do believe ‘handling’ Blitz is a treat, not a chore,” he explains, his smile softening as he thinks of Blitz. “Oh, no one's perfect, of course. But he's really changed my life in so many ways for the better, you see. Like — like I was lost at sea in a dark, treacherous storm and he's a brilliant light that guided me to safety.” Stolas waves his hand around as he starts to wax poetic.
“Alright, alright. I get it, dork.” Loona rolls her eyes, but her mouth is quirked up in a tiny grin.
Stolas feels his cheeks grow warm as he realizes he got a little carried away with his enthusiasm. “Ah, look at me, prattling on… My apologies,” he murmurs, looking away.
“Nah, it's cool,” Loona shrugs. “Guess you know what you're getting yourself into.”
Their conversation is interrupted as a waitress steps up to their table. “What can I get for you folks?” she asks in a monotone.
“Yeah I’ll take this grand deluxe special breakfast,” Loona orders. “And coffee. With extra whipped cream on top. Just keep that comin'.”
The waitress nods and then turns to Stolas. He jolts, unprepared. “Ah, some tea for me, I think,” he begins, frantically looking over the menu. “And I don't suppose you have any… raaaats?” He lifts his gaze back up at the waitress, who only stares at him with an unimpressed look. “No? Um, perhaps just this —” He points at a picture on the menu. “Biscuit and gravy dish, then.”
“Comin’ right up, your highness,” the waitress replies in that same dry tone before taking her leave.
Stolas turns back to Loona and sees that she's facepalming. Oh dear, was he really that embarrassing?
“Is he fucking serious,” she grumbles, almost low enough that Stolas misses it.
“I’m afraid I'm not used to dining in establishments like this,” Stolas explains with a nervous chuckle.
“You're fine. It's —” Loona starts to gesture at something she's gazing at in the distance but falters. She drops her hand and turns her attention back to Stolas. “Nevermind. You wanna talk about what happened with Octavia?”
“Ah, right.” Stolas' shoulders sink. “Well, you see, last night was the annual gala held for the Leonoid meteor shower and Octavia — Oh, she was so looking forward to it,” he sighs, fiddling with a napkin laid out on the table as he tells the story. “But shortly after we arrived… Well, her mother brings out the worst in me, you see…”
…
Stolas and Octavia arrive early to the gala. He's pleased to see the excited spark in his Starfire's eyes as she looks about.
"They should really set this up in a more grassy area, don't you think?" she comments. "So everyone can lie down to watch the meteor shower."
The mental image makes Stolas laugh. He can't imagine the snobs who attend this party would be agreeable to lying back on the grass and dirtying their expensive outfits. "Ah, if only everyone thought the way you do, my dear."
But the peace doesn't last. "Don't YOU look cheerful for a man who's reputation's in the dirt," Stella sneers as she walks up behind them. "Do try not to embarrass us any further tonight, won't you, Stolas?"
"Stella," he greets in a clipped tone.
"I hear you're still cavorting around with that filthy little toad," Stella continues on. "I almost worried you'd be stupid enough to try and bring him here tonight! HA! Can you imagine?!"
Stolas bristles. "And what would be so wrong with that?!" he snaps. "Blitz would be far preferable company to a witch like you!"
"Only a fucking moron would believe that!" Stella scoffs.
"Dad, can you just —" Octavia tries to interject, but Stolas' attention is still fixated on Stella.
"The only fucking moron around here is standing right in front of me!" he jeers, gesturing to Stella.
"How DARE you —!" Stella growls.
They're both about to shoot more insults at each other when Octavia cries out, "OKAY I GET IT! You hate each other! You hate each other SO much, you can't even pretend to get along for one stupid party!"
Stolas wilts, the fight leaving him. "Oh Starfire, I'm so sorry —" He reaches out to touch her shoulder, but she shakes him off.
Octavia swipes at her eyes. "You make me not even want to BE here!"
"Octavia —" Stolas starts to try and console her.
But Stella interrupts. "Oh sweetie, of COURSE you don't have to be here if you don't want to!" she coos. "I'll have a car called for you right away!" Stella turns and snaps orders at an imp to prepare a ride.
"... Thanks," Octavia mumbles. Stella wraps an arm around her shoulders and starts to guide her away. As they walk she looks back over her shoulder and shoots a nasty smirk at Stolas, silently gloating in her victory.
…
Their drinks and food arrive in the middle of Stolas telling the story. Loona swallows her mouthful of eggs before saying, “Okay, so you were dicks to each other and she got upset about it. That about sum it up?”
“Ah, yes. Quite,” Stolas agrees, taking a sip of his tea. “I’ve just no idea how to make it up to her. I feel awful about her missing the meteor storm.” The whole spectacle was cut short when Stolas fell through the portal into Blitz's apartment anyway (and he's sure he'll be hearing complaints about it), but even still.
Loona seems to mull it over as she takes a bite of some pancakes. “I mean… you've got the power of that book, don't you? Can't you just take her to see something else that's cool?”
“Mmm you mean like a different cosmic phenomenon?”
“Sure, whatever. Just spend some time with her without your cunty ex around,” Loona advises.
A realization dawns on Stolas at Loona’s words. Yes, Stella really had a special way of making him look awful, that was a given. But perhaps if Octavia could see how he behaved with a proper partner, she wouldn't keep yearning for him to reunite with her mother.
Stolas brightens. “Yes! Yes, this could work,” he chirps as he starts to get excited about the fantasy. “I could take her on a trip to Earth! We could view... the aurora borealis, perhaps...”
“Yeah!” Loona agrees, throwing back a large gulp of her coffee.
“And you and Blitz could join us!”
Loona nearly chokes on her drink. “Uh… What?”
“Blitz was just so disappointed he couldn't come out with us today,” Stolas explains. “This could make up for that! And — And it could be a perfect opportunity to properly introduce Octavia to Blitz!” He'd wanted to wait until he properly confessed to Blitz before bringing it up to Octavia, but…
“Blitz will get over it, trust me,” Loona argues. “I think Via just wants to spend time with you, dude.”
But Stolas doesn't hear it. “I’ll propose the idea to Blitz later. Thank you for inspiring me, dear!”
Loona sighs. “Sure, no prob.”
“And I… Well, I hate to ask more of you, but if I could get your advice on one more thing…?” Stolas asks with a hesitant wince.
Loona is silent and takes another slurp of coffee. Finally she replies, “... Fine, but it’ll cost you dessert.”
“Wonderful!” Stolas beams. He leans forward as he begins to explain. “You see, I've been trying to plan a date with Blitz…”
Loona groans. “If this gets gross, I'm leaving.”
“Oh no! No, no, nothing like that!” Stolas assures her. “I just… I want to make sure the date is something Blitz will enjoy. So perhaps I could get your opinion?”
“I… guess?” Loona slightly grimaces. “What’d you have in mind?”
"Well initially, I was imagining something like... We're out at a romantic, candle-lit dinner and we order a plate of spaghetti to share. Then we accidentally start eating the same noodle without realizing it until our lips connect," Stolas describes with excited hand gestures. "After dinner we go for a walk in the botanical gardens, but then we get caught in the rain! We find a gazebo to take cover under and hold each other close to stay warm —"
Loona's amused snort pulls Stolas out of his romantic rambling. "And you were going to make it rain, huh? Just like that?" she teases.
Stolas blushes. “A-anyway, now I'm wondering if — Blitz does seem to love horses, doesn't he? So perhaps we could go horseback riding? Do you think he would enjoy that?”
“Uh, yeah. If you take him for a ride on a horse and then feed him some cheese, you’ll never be able to get rid of him,” Loona jokes.
“Really?!” Stolas gasps, his feathers fluffing up in excitement.
“Woah! Chill, dude,” Loona laughs.
Stolas tries to contain his enthusiasm and tamp down on his feathers, but he can't suppress his smile. “Thank you, dear. You've been most helpful.”
Loona turns her focus to her food, but Stolas sees she looks a little pleased. “Sure, whatever,” she replies, feigning apathy. Stolas' smile grows wider. Loona really does remind him of Octavia, in many ways.
~~~
After his… not quite successful attempt to spy on Stolas and Loona, Blitz drags Fizz with him to get his groceries. Reconnecting with Fizz still has its struggles, but all in all, it's actually kind of a fun day. Even doing a fuckass chore like getting groceries.
By the time he returns to the apartment, Blitz expects Loona to be back, but she's nowhere to be found. Is she still with Stolas? What the fuck else could they be doing? More dad-daughter bonding without Blitz??
Blitz distracts himself by putting away the groceries. Once that's done, he marches over to the bathroom to start stripping out of his girlish get up. He's changed into some comfy clothes and just finished wiping off his eye makeup when he hears the front door opening. Blitz scrambles back into the living area to see Loona alone, shutting the door behind her.
“Well well weeeeell! Look who's finally home! You have a good time with the bird?” Blitz questions, torn between feeling elated and jealous that his daughter spent so much time with another dad.
Loona snorts. “What’re you even asking for? You saw for yourself,” she points out with a knowing grin. “Blondie.”
Shit. Blitz’s eyes dart around as he fumbles for an excuse. “Whaaaat! I — pft! I didn't —!”
Loona puts him out of his misery and answers. “Yeah, it was fine.”
Blitz's eyes widen. “It was… fine?” he repeats, surprised to hear such a lack of negativity from Loona.
“Yeah,” she shrugs as she makes her way over to her room. “You could do a lot worse.”
As her bedroom door shuts, Blitz is left standing there gaping. That was practically glowing praise coming from his Loonie!
Blitz collapses into one of the kitchen chairs. “Fuck, ” he blurts to the empty room, mind whirling from the past two days.
Notes:
It's taken me some time to rework the ending after Mastermind and Sinsmas totally slam dunked my original plan for this story into the trash, but I'm ultimately SO much happier and even more excited about it! So I HOPE updates won't take me as long, but sadly I cannot control the way my weird bitch brain works. Thank you SO MUCH to all of you who have stuck around and are still invested in this story anyway!
ADDITION: please looooook at this beautiful gorgeous sexy fanart I got for this chapter HERE!!!
Chapter 7: A Sexy Sleepover
Summary:
Blitz invites himself over to Stolas' palace... because he needs to fuck this owl's brains out sooner rather than later, obviously. There's definitely no other reason!!
Notes:
Hellooooo it's sure been a while! Hopefully this dirty, filthy chapter makes up for the long wait.
Thank you again to Treble for saving my ass and fixing my bad grammar! And thank you to Sonnet for helping give me the courage to share this chapter!
ALSO, don't miss this super hot gift art of Blitz from the last chapter right HERE!!
Enjoy~!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
‘Fuck,’ Blitz thinks again as he sits at the kitchen table and stares at Loona's closed bedroom door. It’d taken months before Loona had called hanging out with Blitz anything close to ‘fine’, and somehow Stolas had managed it after spending just one afternoon with her. Blitz admits he’s impressed… and also a little jealous.
But mostly he’s just bummed about missing their bonding sesh. Blitz wonders if he can invent an excuse to get them to go again — all together this time.
He pictures the diner just like it was this morning, except he's squeezed in the booth next to Stolas. Loona sits across from them... along with Octavia, because obviously Stolas would want to bring his kid this time too, wouldn't he?
There’s a variety of breakfast food spread across the table. Stolas takes a bite of his waffles and some extra whipped cream clings to the side of his beak. Blitz reaches over to swipe it away with his finger and then holds it up as an offering for Stolas to finish. Stolas laughs and licks the whipped cream from Blitz's fingers — it makes their kids mime gagging, but then they're all laughing together and… and…
And what the fuck was THAT?!
Blitz leaps to his feet and starts pacing, full of nervous energy. What the fuck was he thinking? Just because Stolas and him were playing at being a happy little couple didn't mean that — that were like a fam —
A DISTRACTION! That's what his dipshit brain needs! He decides that watching trashy, mind numbing television will do the trick and marches over to the living room.
“Where the fuck’s that little ho hidin’ now?” Blitz mutters as his eyes dart around the room looking for the remote. In his rush to get the TV on as quickly as possible, he trips and faceplants directly onto the couch with a yelp. “Totes meant to do that,” he explains, even though no one’s around to witness him beefing it.
He means to pick himself up and keep looking for that damn remote, but the couch… It smells nice. The lingering stench of old corn chips and cheese is now masked by a scent that is uniquely Stolas. Blitz inhales deeply.
His body relaxes as memories from last night come rushing back to him; of his face buried in those soft chest feathers, of Stolas' hands roaming up and down his back, of Stolas’ body pliant and warm beneath him. It had taken all of Blitz's willpower last night to not dry hump against Stolas like some kind of desperate loser.
But no one's here to witness what a degenerate freak he is now… so long as Loona doesn't leave her room and catch him. Blitz decides to risk it and allows his hips to twitch, grinding lightly against the cushion.
He buries his face deeper against the couch to muffle his soft groan and inhales again, trying to catch more of Stolas' scent. It helps him picture the bird underneath him, this time without any pesky clothes in the way; his legs spread and shaking, his sweet little puss slick just from rubbing up against his dick.
Blitz grinds against the cushion harder, his cock growing in excitement with each thrust. He knows he needs to move this shit to the bathroom if he really wants to jerk it, but it’s hard to stop when he’s imagining Stolas' needy gasps as he begs, ‘Oh Blitzy, I need to feel you, please Blitzy, take me now, you magnificent stallion —’
The sound of his phone ringing pierces through the silence and destroys his fantasy. The damn thing has never sounded more shrill, and it startles Blitz so badly that he jerks and tumbles off the couch, crashing in a heap on the floor.
“M’ fine!” he shouts quickly, hoping that's enough to keep Loona from checking out why he's making so much fucking racket. Blitz scrambles around and snatches up his still chirping phone. Stolas' picture lights up the screen, but Blitz hesitates, his thumb hovering over the ‘answer call’ button.
He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart and dick down. All he has to do is sound casual — like he wasn't just about to jack off to the idea of fucking Stolas on his ratty ass couch. Easy fucking peasy!
Blitz accepts the call. “Stolas, hey, what's up sweetcheeks, you need that cloaca looked at?” he greets all in one breath. FUCK.
“I — sorry, ah — What was that?”
“I said what's up? You miss me already, big bird?” Blitz says instead with a forced chuckle.
“Oh! Well, yes, but actually I was calling to —”
That ‘yes’ is fucking music to Blitz’s ears and he can't help but cut in, “Aha- Alright, alriiiight! Say no more!” He forces casual cheer into his tone in an attempt to mask his horny desperation. “I mean, don't get me wrong, I love makin’ you beg, but I'll spare ya! If you're aching for some one on one time so bad, I can pop on over.”
“Right now?” Stolas asks with a surprised sounding hoot.
“Yeah! Yeah, now or — or later,” Blitz tries to back pedal, his gut churning with disgust towards himself for being so needy. “Tomorrow or next Tuesday or two months from now, whenever —”
“NO!” Stolas shouts, loud enough that Blitz jolts and almost drops his phone. After an embarrassed-sounding chuckle, Stolas clears his throat and goes on at a normal volume, “Th-that is to say, now would be wonderful!”
Blitz feels the invisible pressure on his chest lighten up just a little. “Fantastic! So I'll just uh, grab my crystal and portal on over then.” He wonders if he should bring anything with him. Flowers? Chocolates? Lube? No that's fucking stupid, Stolas already has all that shit…
“Via won't be home until tomorrow morning, so you're more than welcome to stay the night,” Stolas offers. “And, if you'd like, we could…”
Blitz perks up. Jackpot bells start ringing in his head and his cock twitches with interest.
“ — cuddle up and watch a movie, perhaps?” Stolas finishes.
Blitz deflates. Last month, he would have been sure as shit this was just a ploy for Stolas to get some dick. But now? He's got no clue if the bird wants to “watch a movie” or actually watch a movie.
His brain feels like it's stuck as he tries to figure out which scenario is more likely, and he's clearly taking too long to reply because Stolas hastily adds, “You can choose any movie you’d like! I'm content with whatever you'd like to watch.”
Well, shit.
Blitz's gaze slides over to his TV stand, where a small collection of DVDs sit. His eyes linger on the case of his favorite movie. “Uh —” Blitz unhelpfully replies, his stupid simping brain too busy picturing them snuggled up under a fluffy blanket; Stolas wide-eyed and mesmerized as he watches Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron with Blitz.
He shakes his head vigorously as if that will dislodge the vision. Fucking dammit! He's gotta start thinking with the right head (his dick). Fucking Stolas’ brains out is the whole damn point of this amnesia scheme. Blitz needs to seal the deal before his brain gets any gayer and stupider ideas. He resolves to pick a shitty movie that they can ignore in favor of shoving their tongues down each other's throats.
“Okay, yeah — yeah! I got just the movie that'll have us wantin' to snuggle up reeeeal close,” Blitz finally replies, his voice dipping low and seductive at the end.
“Ooo doesn't that sound delightful!” Stolas coos before hesitantly asking, “And… you’ll stay the night as well?”
Blitz has to work in the morning, but whatever. That sounds like a problem for his future bitch-ass self to deal with. “Sure! We can have ourselves a whole fuckin’ marathon of movies,” Blitz decides with a gleeful chuckle. Oh this’ll be good. He has more than a few films to choose from that’ll help get the mood MAX horny.
“Wonderful!” Stolas hoots, sounding much perkier now. “I’ll begin preparing right away! I'm certain it won't take long.”
“Great, lemme just freshen up a bit, then I’ll be over in a jiff,” Blitz tells him, standing up and cracking his back.
“Of course! I’ll do the same. See you soon, Blitzy~”
“M’kay, see you soon, snookums,” Blitz replies before quickly ending the call. Snookums? Fuck. Blitz wonders if he's getting a little too in-character with this whole boyfriend schtick.
He shakes his head. Whatever, he's got to focus. Blitz vaults over the couch and makes his way to the bathroom with a spring in his step. Mission: Sexy Sleepover (Dick That Owl Down Good) is now a go.
Unfortunately, Blitz doesn't have any sexy jammies to wear to a sexy slumber party. His gaze falls on his stained horse girl shirt sitting in a rumpled heap on the floor. Stolas had nearly creamed himself last time he saw Blitz wearing this, so it’d probably do the trick.
He picks the shirt up and gives it a good sniff. It doesn't reek, so Blitz goes ahead and changes into the pajamas. Next, he decides to go extra heavy with the black makeup on his eyelids to really max out his sex appeal.
Once finished, Blitz leans back and surveys himself in the mirror. He waggles his eyebrows. Tries out a sexy smouldering look. Throws his reflection finger guns and a wink.
Eventually he just grimaces. “Yeeeep alright, guess that's about as good as it's gonna fuckin’ get,” he tells himself before stepping out of the bathroom. He scoops up his bag and stuffs his work clothes for the next day inside before moving to grab a DVD.
Which to choose? Blitz shuffles through the cases and decides that going with some Angel Dust classics is a good bet. Watching another pretty twink get his holes fucked is bound to help get Stolas in the mooood.
Blitz stuffs a couple DVDs into his bag, but then hesitates as his eyes land on Spirit again. Fizz’s voice rings in his head, giving him shit about needing to ‘loosen up his asshole and have more fun’ or what the fuck ever. He sighs and slides the DVD into his bag as well. If they don't pass out after their fuckfest… maybe he can watch it with Stolas then.
With everything packed up, Blitz moves to knock on Loona's bedroom door. “Loonie? Just wanna let you know I’m headin’ out for the night, m’kay?” He’s fully prepared to get a ‘whatever’ or ‘don’t fucking care’ at most in response, so Blitz nearly falls over when the door suddenly swings open.
Loona quirks an eyebrow as she looks him over. “Wow. You’re really going to hang out with the bird again already?”
Blitz’s back spines raise as he bristles. He didn't expect her to just call him out like this, and it has him on the defensive. “It’s not like —! We didn’t get to —! Hey, we BEHAVED last night and — and I’m HORNY, OKAY?!”
“Ugh, you’re so gross,” Loona groans.
“Aaaanyway, just so you know, did a little shopping earlier, so there’s food in the fridge if you get hungry. And if you’re gonna invite any friends over just remember the rules,” Blitz holds up a finger as he recites, “Drink responsibly and if anyone upsets you... violence IS the answer!” He laughs and nudges her arm with his elbow. “Guns r' stashed in the usual spots if you need to bust a cap in anyone's ass, ‘kay sweetheart?”
Loona rolls her eyes and grins. “Yeah, yeah. I get it. Go bother your boyfriend already, idiot.”
“Oh I'm gonna get him hot and bothered alright,” Blitz leers and rubs his hands together in a diabolical way. Loona groans again and retreats back to her room, slamming the door in his face. “Bye sweetie!” he calls out cheerfully before creating himself a portal to Stolas’ bedroom and stepping through.
–
As the portal snaps closed behind Blitz, he catches sight of Stolas exiting his ensuite bathroom and his eyes go wide.
Stolas did more than just ‘freshen up a bit.’ Blitz catches how good he smells even standing at a distance. His feathers look shiny and fluffy, like he put extra effort into grooming himself. Blitz's hands twitch with the desire to grab and feel how soft those feathers must be.
The owl's also wearing a robe Blitz has never seen before. It's shorter, like the one he wore by the pool, but black and red with a floral pattern. The right side is hanging loose, exposing his shoulder in a cute, slutty way.
Now Blitz is sure that ‘watching a movie’ was just a cheap excuse. Stolas looks way too hot and fuckable for just a casual sleepover.
The world feels like it slows down as Blitz watches Stolas stride towards him. Stolas’ gaze seems to be smouldering. “Hello Blitzy~” Blitz thinks he hears Stolas hum, but his ears are ringing so he's not sure.
Blitz is already half hard imagining all the nasty shit he wants to do to Stolas tonight. He hopes Stolas stashed that giant bag of sex toys close by because Blitz is ready to use all of it. He's about to manhandle the prince onto the bed when Stolas suddenly takes him by the hand.
“What perfect timing you have!” he chirps, all bright and sunny. “Everything's been set up. Here, let me show you!” Stolas starts tugging Blitz along out of the bedroom.
“O-oh yeah?” Blitz stutters, still trying to redirect the blood flow from his dick back to his brain as he stumbles, trying to keep up with Stolas’ excited pace. “How much do you even gotta get ready for a little movie night anywaaa — ah.”
They arrive at a room Blitz has never been in before. There's a huge TV mounted on the wall in front of a long, plush couch that's piled with an excessive amount of pillows and fluffy blankets. Various candles are set up around the room as the only source of light. A coffee table sits in front of the couch and there's a variety of food and drinks spread across it. At a glance Blitz spots a cheese plate, some fancy-looking mini pizzas, mozzarella sticks, a bowl of queso… holy fuck that's a lot of cheese.
“A-ah, I wasn't sure if you’d eaten already, so I asked the staff to prepare us snacks,” Stolas explains, a nervous edge in his voice. “I wasn't certain what you like best, so —! Well, a variety of choices never hurts, does it?” He chuckles.
Even with a feast of cheese in front of him, Blitz's gaze snaps back to Stolas like he's magnetized or some shit. “Ohhh I see a snack I’d like to try alright~” he purrs, his mouth nearly watering as he imagines sliding his hands and his tongue under that robe and tasting —
“Oh I knew you would notice the popcorn!” Stolas coos with delight. “It’s the perfect movie snack, isn't it? And I asked the chefs to top it with a fine parmesan and red pepper flakes — because spicy is the best flavor, of course.” He shoots Blitz a knowing grin.
Blitz can’t even be disappointed that his innuendo flew over Stolas’ pretty head. “Well look at you, fancy pants! I usually just dump cheese powder all over it, but fuck if that doesn't sound fucking delish!” Is Stolas trying to seduce him? It’s dumb and pointless to go through so much effort just for him, but… the sexy robe, the sexy snacks catered to his tastes, inviting him over for a sexy sleepover… What else could it be? “If you're trying to get me hard, well — I mean, yeah, it's workin’.”
Stolas laughs even though Blitz isn't exactly joking. “Well don't keep me in suspense, darling! I can't wait to see what movie you've chosen!”
Blitz drops his bag on the ground and moves to rummage through it. “Ohoo I got a feeling you're gonna be just gushing over this one, birdie…” He pulls out all the DVDs, but before he can set Spirit aside, Stolas plucks the case out of his hand.
He titters as he looks it over. “You do love your horses, don't you, Blitzy? I shouldn't be surprised!”
“Hold up, that's not — Uh —”
“I’m interested to find out what sort of movie you favor! Judging by the cover, I suppose this is an adventure story? The art is quite charming,” Stolas chatters on.
Stolas' interest completely disarms Blitz. This is just like when he was asking questions about Blitz's OCs all over again… the charming bastard. “I mean, it's only the greatest horse movie ever made,” Blitz replies, almost automatically. “And just having a horse in your movie already makes it better than movies with no horses soooo… Yeah, I'm gonna fuckin’ say it: Best damn movie ever made!”
“My, such high praise! I can't wait to see for myself,” Stolas chirps, taking Blitz by the hand again and guiding him over to the couch.
Blitz glances back at the Angel Dust movie cases left littering the floor. So much for Plan A: get that bird dripping wet by watching a porno. Blitz would just have to improvise a Plan B.
Later, though. Blitz isn't going to waste the opportunity when Stolas is this down to watch his all time favorite movie.
Stolas pulls Blitz onto the couch, draping a fluffy blanket over them both and snuggling up against his side. He hands Blitz the bowl of cheesy, spicy popcorn and then uses his magic to float the DVD over to the player to start the movie up.
Blitz shovels the popcorn into his mouth, his eyes darting back and forth from the TV screen to Stolas' face. His stomach is rolling with nerves, but he keeps eating the popcorn anyway because it is tasty as hell.
And Blitz doesn't know why the fuck he's freaking out anyway. It's not the end of the world if Stolas hates his favorite movie. Hell, it'd probably be a good thing. Might help drop kick Blitz’s dumb ass back to reality.
It sure seems to go that way at first; Stolas makes a grossed out face during the birth and milking scenes and he generally seems confused in the beginning. But Blitz tracks his expressions as the movie goes on and he can see when Stolas starts getting invested.
Stolas hoots out a surprised laugh when the sleeping human accidentally kisses Spirit. “Yeahhh get it, bitch! Give us some of that steamy horse ACTION!” Blitz crows, which only makes Stolas laugh harder.
His tune changes after the humans capture Spirit though. “Oh what dreadful brutes,” Stolas gasps and clicks his beak in disapproval as the humans progressively restrain the horse with more and more rope.
“And here I thought you'd be into brutes who're handling things nice and rough,” Blitz continues to joke. “C’mon, all those ropes gotta be turning you on. And that brand! Just try and tell me you don't wanna reenact this scene!”
Stolas snorts and tries to cover his grin with his hand. After a moment though his smile falters and he glances over at Blitz with an arched brow. “You certainly seem to remember quite a lot of details about our sex life, don't you, Blitz?”
It catches Blitz off guard. “Wh-well, I — I mean I get flashes of — of it here and there,” he hurries to explain, starting to sweat. “Guess my dick just won't let my brain totally forget, huh? HA! Go figure.” Blitz laughs uneasily then grabs some nacho cheese flavored chips to shove in his mouth before he spews out any more shitty excuses.
“Mm yes, of course,” Stolas murmurs, suddenly looking sad. Blitz knows this isn't exactly an uplifting part of the movie, but Stolas isn't even looking at the screen now. He usually eats up Blitz’s stupid lewd jokes, so what gives?
“H-hey, grade-A snacks, by the by! Real tasty stuff,” Blitz blurts out in an attempt to lighten the mood. He stretches his tongue out to curl around a mozzarella stick and eats it whole, as if to demonstrate his point.
It seems to work; Stolas immediately brightens, turning to Blitz and beaming. “I’m so happy you approve!”
“Yeah, well, don't make me eat it all by m’self unless you wanna watch me huggin’ the toilet all night,” Blitz teases, giving Stolas' thigh a light slap with the spade of his tail.
“Oh dear me no, we can't have that. Or else I may become jealous of my own toilet for monopolizing all your hugs,” Stolas quips back with a little titter as he reaches to grab a mozzarella stick as well.
And Blitz knows it's just banter, but that doesn't stop his stupid bitch-ass heart from fluttering. Fortunately, Stolas' attention is back on the movie, so he doesn't see the flush across Blitz’s cheeks.
Unfortunately, Blitz is still watching Stolas' face, so he gets a front row view of the way the gooey cheese oozes out of the mozzarella stick as Stolas bites off half of it. Watching Stolas' tongue dart out to lap it up is hot enough that Blitz groans out loud.
Stolas' inquisitive gaze shifts to Blitz and the imp scrambles to cover the sound, yelling out, “HA! The bitch is trippin' if he really thought he could break that mustang! YEAH!!” Blitz nods to the screen where Spirit tosses that dick Colonel over the fence and inspires the other horses with his badassery.
His commentary seems to sufficiently distract Stolas, who goes back to watching Spirit escape from horse prison camp. Blitz’s shoulders slump as he relaxes and returns to keeping tabs on Stolas' reaction while half-watching the movie.
The rest of the film seems to go over well; Stolas looks like he really gets into all the flirting between Spirit and Rain. He starts making distressed chirping noises when the pair plummet down the waterfall and Blitz curls his tail around the bird to try and soothe him. Stolas holds his hand for comfort when the two horses are separated.
Blitz swears that Stolas gets so emotionally invested, he even looks close to tearing up a couple times. Of course by the end of it, he's hooting happily about the reunion between Spirit and Rain.
Once the credits start to roll, Stolas immediately rounds on Blitz and scolds him. “Your favorite movie and you hardly even watched it!”
Blitz just waves him off. “Whatevs, I've seen it a million times. But I only got one chance to watch you watch it for the first time,” he counters. “So did ya like it?” Blitz thinks he did, but he still wants to hear it from Stolas himself. He looks up at the prince with wide, hopeful eyes, his tail wagging in anticipation.
“Oh yes, I enjoyed it very much!” Stolas claps his hands together. “Although I must confess I do prefer romantic films… But even still, this was quite the thrilling watch!”
“Whaaaat! There was romance in this movie! It has it all!” Blitz argues, swinging his arms and spilling some of the leftover popcorn and chips everywhere.
“It's not the same when it's just a subplot,” Stolas insists. “I like the sort of movies where… the hero has to rush to make a desperate confession in time! It's his last chance! He has to hurry before the love of his life gets on that train to London~!” He gestures with a dramatic flourish as he explains.
“Ahhhh huh, I see. You like rom coms.”
“I like romance, Blitzy! Comedic or otherwise!”
Blitz rolls his eyes, but he's grinning. “Alright, alright. So Spirit only had a sprinkle of the lovey-dovey flavor, but you still liked it?”
“I did! I especially liked the horse. He was so daring and defiant,” Stolas sighs wistfully. “Facing all those challenges with such bravery and stubbornness… Fighting for his freedom instead of just accepting a cage… It's very admirable, indeed. He reminded me quite a lot of you, Blitz.”
And what the fuck is Blitz supposed to do with an incredible compliment like that? It feels like his heart is going to race out of his chest. His mouth feels dry. He wants to kiss Stolas. He wants to hide under these fluffy blankets. He wants to rail this bird six ways to Sunday. He wants to scream obscenities and run away. He wants to hold Stolas and never let go.
Instead he blurts out, “Hey, you wanna play dare or dare?”
Stolas blinks in surprise. “Dare or…?” he starts to question, but then perks up in recognition. “Oh, right! Yes, I was quite intrigued when you explained the rules to me before… Alright! It does sound fun, let's play!”
“Fuck yeah, it's the perfect sleepover game!” And a perfect distraction from Blitz's crazy cocktail of feelings. “As the expert and undefeated champion, I’ll go first,” Blitz decides, scooting over so that he can sit on the couch cross-legged and facing Stolas.
“That sounds more than fair. Please show me how it's done, oh wise champion,” Stolas coos as he shifts to face Blitz as well.
Blitz makes a show of thinking about it as he looks Stolas up and down. “Hmm how to pop your ‘dare or dare’ cherry… Alright, try this on for size! I dare you… to touch yourself again just like you did last week oooooor use all these blankets and shit to build us a proper pillow fort up in here.”
Stolas laughs. “Well, neither of those sound particularly mortifying. Are you really playing to win, Blitzy?”
“Hey, I told you before I'd go easy on ya, didn't I?”
“That you did,” Stolas agrees. He's grinning as he taps a finger to his chin and seems to think over his choice. “Alright then,” he finally says before standing up and using his magic to start rearranging everything. He pushes the couch and coffee table away from each other, piles pillows and blankets at the foot of the couch, and uses stacks of pillows to drape blankets over them, creating a canopy.
During the process he also levitates Blitz off the couch and sets him on top of the pillows on the floor. “Just tell me to move my ass!” Blitz yelps at the sudden unexpected movement.
“My apologies dear,” Stolas says as he crawls underneath the canopy to join Blitz, sitting across from him.
Blitz huffs. “Thought for sure your horny ass was gonna go with the sexy option.” He doesn't want to admit he's kind of impressed with the makeshift structure as he leans back against the pillows behind him and looks over Stolas' work.
“Oh my! Are you trying to seduce me, dear Blitzy~?” Stolas teases, clutching his hand to his chest as though he's scandalized. As though he's not the one trying to seduce the fuck out of Blitz in that saucy little robe.
“I might be,” Blitz banters playfully. “Why? Is it workin’?” He crosses his arms behind his head and punctuates the question by spreading his legs wider and giving his hips a little pump.
Those rare pupils appear in Stolas' eyes, allowing Blitz to see that the bird’s gaze is glued to his crotch. “A-ah-mm it’s — it's my turn now, is it not?” Stolas stutters out, finally tearing his eyes away.
“Sure is. Do your worst, hot wings,” Blitz goads him with a cocky smirk.
“Yes, of course,” Stolas hums, clearly distracted. He appears to gather himself as he thinks it over. “Alright, I dare you to… either confess to me a deep dark secret about yourself or describe to me a fond memory from your childhood.”
“The fuck kinda dares are those?? Bitch, I told you truth is for pussies! This is basically the same shit,” Blitz protests, seductive energy gone as he sits up straighter and levels Stolas with an annoyed look.
“No it's not,” Stolas insists.
“Yes it fuckin’ is! You want me to tell you a truth about myself. Dares are about ACTION!”
“No, I'm daring you to tell me about a secret or fond memory. That is an action,” Stolas continues to argue, crossing his arms.
“Oh my fucking Satan,” Blitz groans in exasperation.
“I suppose if you're too afraid to complete either dare, your only choice is to give up and concede victory to me,” Stolas decides, grinning and tilting his head. The bait is obvious, but fuck if Blitz doesn't go for it like the dumbest of dumbass fishes.
“Oh, in your fuckin’ dreams! I've never lost this game and I ain't startin’ now,” Blitz proudly declares. “And I’ve played this game a fuck ton, y’know! Used to play all the time when I was a kid…”
Stolas' eyes go wide and he leans forward, looking like he's hanging off Blitz’s every word. Blitz has no clue why he's so captivated — what he could possibly be hoping to hear.
“I remember this one game — my sis and my best friend got food n' drinks from every single booth at the circus… and then those assholes mashed it all together into a nasty-ass sludge and dared me to drink the whole thing.” Blitz chuckles as he recounts the memory. Those were good times, when the three of them found time to hang out outside of performing or practicing. “It tasted like dogshit and I puked my guts out all night — but you better believe I fuckin' wooooon!”
Stolas laughs as Blitz woops about his old victory. “It sounds like you all had quite a lot of fun together. That seems nice,” he smiles. “I didn't know you had a sister, how lovely.”
The high of getting Stolas to laugh comes crashing down and Blitz looks away. “Y-yeah, I mean — yeah, sure do.” He doesn't want to get into the details of how she currently hates his guts.
Luckily Stolas moves on from the topic. “You’ll probably think this is quite silly,” he murmurs, looking away shyly. “But I've often wished we could have spent more time together when we were younger.”
It is silly. A few months ago the idea would have made Blitz scoff. Hanging out with Stolas as they grew up, like a real friendship was actually possible? Fucking ridiculous.
But now? Now like a total dumbass simp, Blitz blurts out, “Yeah, me too.”
Stolas lights up, looking at Blitz like — like he's his precious stars and moon or something. “At least we can make up for lost time now,” he says sweetly, reaching over to take Blitz's hand, intertwining their fingers.
It's too mushy and tender. Blitz feels like something is caught in his throat. To break the tension, he acts on impulse and tugs Stolas hand closer, licking a stripe up the back of his palm.
“Blitzy!!” Stolas squawks out a startled laugh.
“Alright I did your half-assed ‘dare,’ ya happy? It's my turn now,” Blitz asserts, changing the subject.
He lets go of Stolas' hand in order to shift onto his hands and knees, crawling closer on all fours like a predator about to pounce on its prey. He needs to amp up the sexy energy pronto. “I dare you…” he starts slowly, putting a hand on each of Stolas' knees and gradually pushing his legs apart. “Toooo pick if you want my fingers or my tongue to have a little fun between these hot legs~”
“A-ahhh —” Stolas suddenly looks nervous. He pushes back against Blitz’s hold, trying to keep his legs closed. Blitz’s tail droops with disappointment. Fuck, fuck. Stolas doesn't look excited at all. Blitz apparently isn't just good at killing people — he's great at killing the mood too! FUCK.
Blitz has never had to work this hard for it with Stolas. He used to just show up on the full moon and Stolas would be all over him, begging for his attention. This whole ‘playing hard to get’ mixed signals thing keeps throwing Blitz off his game.
He quickly backs off, shuffling away to put distance between them, his posture ridgid. "I — I'm kidding, obviously! HA! Totally got your ass there!" He forces a laugh. "Uh, I'm actually gonna dare you to... to, uh…” Blitz scrambles to think of a way to salvage the situation, but he's drawing a blank. His claws dig into his thighs like an unconscious punishment for being such a fuck up.
“W-wait! I liked those dares!!” Stolas insists with a sudden enthusiasm, reaching over to take Blitz's hands and holding them delicately. “I was merely struggling to choose!”
“... Really?” Blitz asks, wincing at how pathetic he sounds. That can't be true, so he doesn't know why he even asked.
Stolas nods emphatically. “You gave me quite the difficult choice, darling. Those are both very enticing prospects,” he assures Blitz, his voice dropping low at the end. Blitz isn't convinced and Stolas must be able to see it in his expression. “Really,” he insists again, letting go of Blitz's hands in order to cradle his face and pull him in for a soft kiss.
It's clearly supposed to just be a short, reassuring kiss, but Blitz can't resist kissing back. Stolas hums in approval and keeps kissing him, wrapping his arms around Blitz and urging him closer. Blitz follows, winding his arms around Stolas and pulling their bodies flush against each other.
Stolas starts making eager little moans against his mouth and it encourages Blitz. It gets him thinking… maybe he just needs to warm his bird up. Blitz isn’t used to it — Stolas is usually instantly wet as soon as Blitz so much as walks into the room. Their foreplay was just for fun, not necessity.
But it's fine, Blitz can do foreplay. He doesn't want to waste time grabbing any toys, chains, or tasers though; so he's just going to have to work with what he's got. Blitz deepens the kiss, his tongue leading them in a slow and sensual rhythm. He eases Stolas back to lay on the pillows and Stolas clings to him tighter, pulling Blitz along with him.
Their mouths stay connected as Blitz makes himself comfortable straddling Stolas' waist. His hands and tail roam over Stolas' body, caressing the exposed feathers of his shoulder, chest and legs.
Eventually Blitz breaks the kiss to pay special attention to Stolas' neck, licking and kissing and nibbling. Stolas tilts his head to allow Blitz more access.
Building up the tension slowly this time instead of going in hard and fast like usual seems to be working; especially considering Blitz isn't the only one getting handsy. Stolas slides his talons under Blitz's shirt, running his fingers up the imp’s abdomen and chest; then around to his back, kneading the muscles there.
That simple touch is enough to make the fire of arousal in Blitz's gut surge. With a renewed burst of confidence, he starts running his mouth. “You cleaned up niiiice for tonight, didn't ya?” he pulls back just enough to tease, his breath hot against Stolas' neck. “What kinda sick fantasies were running through that pretty head while you scrubbed yourself all over, hmm~?”
Blitz can feel himself start to drool, his breathing becoming heavier as he goes on, “Were you hoping I wouldn't be able to control myself? That'd I'd grab you and tie you down…” His tail loops around Stolas' thigh, squeezing tight enough to hurt. Stolas moans in response. Blitz goes on, “Start touchin’ you wherever I want…” He slips his hands through the flimsy opening of Stolas' robe, running his fingers up the prince's stomach and chest. Blitz can feel the way Stolas' breath is coming quicker now. “And mark up this body so everyone knows it's mine?” He knows it's pointless given how quickly Stolas heals, but Blitz digs his claws in and scratches hard enough to try and leave marks anyway.
Stolas is biting his lip, but can't contain a breathy moan when Blitz claws at him. “The thought... did cross my mind,” he puffs out, his lips tilting up into a smug grin.
Blitz can't help but laugh. “Yeah I’ll bet it did, you spicy little slut~” He growls, leaning in to bite at a spot on Stolas' neck he knows is particularly sensitive. Stolas' feathers fluff up in response, his gasping moan a lot louder this time. Blitz licks over the spot he bit. “Tell me your choice, baby.”
“... Choice?” Stolas asks, sounding disoriented. Blitz pulls back enough to give him a once-over; he's flushed and his feathers look disheveled from all of Blitz's groping. Fuck, he looks so hot that Blitz kind of wishes he'd just choose his dick over the other two options.
“Tongue or fingers?” Blitz reminds him, voice husky with lust.
“Oh! Right,” Stolas flushes deeper as he seems to return to his senses and remember their game. “Your tongue.”
“Tongue, huh?” Blitz repeats with a grin, threading his fingers into Stolas' chest feathers again and toying with the fluff. Slowly he trails his hand lower, down to the belt of his robe to fiddle with the knot. Getting it open isn't necessary, but the teasing is hot. “You suuuure 'bout that choice? There’s supposed to be no bitch-ass take backsies, but I’ll make an exception this time ‘cause you looked dazed as fuck from all that necking.”
“I’m sure,” Stolas replies right away with a vigorous nod. Damn, okay.
Blitz unties the belt knot, pushing aside the fabric of the robe so it falls open. He slides his hands down the length of Stolas’ body, digging his claws in just enough to tease. As Blitz slinks lower, he keeps his fingers moving too; down over Stolas’ hips and to his thighs, avoiding touching between his legs.
Stolas’ breath hitches as Blitz grabs hold of his thighs and pushes his legs further apart. The sight of Stolas exposed like this has Blitz’s mouth watering. “Now there’s the snack I’ve been lookin’ forward to most~” he hums, making Stolas whine and twitch his hips upwards in anticipation.
Fucking finally. He's finally got Stolas wet and willing and eager to do this… And of course it's got Blitz’s nerves shot.
This shit has to be GOOD. He’s got to rock Stolas' world so the bird will let him do it again and again and again. This is the first chance Blitz has gotten in months to prove he’s good enough. He needs to eat Stolas out like it’s the last damn meal he’s ever going to get.
“... Darling?” Stolas questions, his eyes full of concern instead of glazed over with lust like they should be. Blitz realizes he was hesitating too long. Probably with a weird look on his face. Fucking dammit, he’s already screwing it up.
Blitz squeezes Stolas’ thighs and rubs his thumbs in soothing circles. “Shhh,” he purrs, giving Stolas his best bedroom eyes and making a show of licking his lips. “Daddy just wants to enjoy the view~”
The excuse seems to work and Stolas melts against his grip. Blitz grins and dives in without warning to bite down hard on one of Stolas’ thighs. Stolas cries out and some slick leaks out of his cloaca. Much better.
Being this close to Stolas' scent is almost overwhelming. It smells so good that Blitz feels like he could get high off it. He focuses on just breathing it in to clear his mind of any worry before moving to drag his tongue over the leaking rim of Stolas’ cloaca.
“Ah~! Oh, Blitz!” Stolas gasps, his hips canting upwards eagerly and his hands scrambling to grab Blitz's horns. Getting that good of a reaction from just one swipe of his tongue has Blitz’s heart racing and his dick twitching. His tail wags as he laps at Stolas’ cunt roughly with more confidence, pulling fresh moans out of the owl.
Both of Stolas’ hands caress up and down Blitz’s horns, encouraging him. “Mmn Blitz~! Your tongue f-feels so good — Ah! I — I —!” Stolas pants, his voice climbing higher. “I want you to ram it in deep — so deep inside me I can feel it in the back of my throat! And taste your tongue on my tongue! J-just twist it into a knot and fuck me so hard I —!”
Theeere it is. Blitz had wondered if he'd ever get to hear Stolas' unhinged brand of dirty talk again. He feels his cock grow fully hard, straining against his pajama shorts. Fucked up as it is, apparently Blitz has missed it.
Well if Stolas wants Blitz to tongue fuck him, he's happy to deliver. Blitz shifts his hands lower, squeezing Stolas' ass as he shoves his tongue inside him. Stolas keens and his grip tightens on Blitz's horns. Blitz grins against his cunt, driving his tongue in deeper. Stolas' legs start to shake and Blitz’s heart leaps as he realizes his bird is close.
Just as Blitz starts to wriggle his tongue with extra vigor, Stolas suddenly uses his grasp on Blitz's horns to shove him back. “Hhng?” Blitz grunts in confusion, his tongue still hanging out, dripping with his own saliva and Stolas' slick.
“IT’S MY TURN!!” Stolas declares, his voice loud and breathy. Blitz’s horny brain is still trying to catch up and he barely processes the movement as Stolas flips their positions. “I dare you to — to allow me to choke on your cock!!”
“Uhhh —” Blitz tries to ask what the second choice is (even though he's preeeetty sold on this choice), but he doesn't get a chance. Not waiting for an answer, Stolas shoves Blitz's shorts down just enough to free his erection and then swallows the entire length in one swift motion.
“FFFUUUCK!” Blitz moans, his hips bucking up into that hot mouth on reflex. Stolas doesn't flinch and he moans around Blitz's dick, his tongue lapping against the head just the way the imp likes.
And Blitz isn't one to ever complain about a surprise blow job… But he’d had Stolas right there. He knows the bird can go for an insane number of rounds, so why hold off? Stolas had clearly been into the shit Blitz was doing with his tongue, so what fucking gives?
How is Blitz supposed to prove he's good enough if Stolas won't let him??
“Ho —ohhh shit! H-hold on!” Blitz groans out. It's not easy when every fiber of his being is screaming at him to shut up and let the bird have at it, but somehow he manages to grab Stolas by his head feathers and yank him off his cock.
Stolas blinks up at him, looking confused. Like he doesn't understand why his treat was just taken away from him. “Is something the matter, dear?”
Blitz gives him his best domineering smirk. “Yeah, the dare was to let you choke on my cock — So get ready, bitch. I'm gonna choke you with it.” He shoves Stolas around to reverse their positions again before moving to grab the cloth belt attached to Stolas' robe, tugging it free. “Hands behind your back, pretty birdie,” Blitz orders.
Stolas seems to catch on quickly and shifts his wrists together behind his back with lightning speed. His clear eagerness has Blitz fighting to suppress a chuckle as he uses the belt to bind Stolas' wrists together. Once finished, he stands up, planting a foot on either side of Stolas' hips. Blitz cards his claws through Stolas' head feathers, admiring the view of the prince flushed and disheveled beneath him.
“Mmm ya like that, huh? Gettin’ all tied up like a sexy present for me to open up and play with?” Blitz teases, even though he already knows damn well how much Stolas loves to be restrained.
“Oh yes,” Stolas agrees, his breath shuddering with excitement.
Blitz grazes the head of his cock over Stolas' cheek, teasing both himself and Stolas with anticipation. He uses the spade of his tail to caress Stolas' thighs, encouraging him to keep his legs spread open.
Stolas parts his beak and turns his head, trying to take Blitz's dick into his mouth. Blitz allows him to just barely swipe his tongue against the length before tightening his grip on Stolas' feathers and yanking him back. “Nuh ah ah,” Blitz tuts. “You only get a taste once I say so, you hungry slut.”
“But the dare —” Stolas tries to whine in protest, but Blitz cuts him off by slapping his tail against the prince’s thigh.
“Oh now you wanna play by the rules, do you? After you didn't let me finish my turn,” Blitz laughs. He uses the spade of his tail to tease Stolas’ entrance. “Fuck, you're so wet just from some tongue fucking... Bet I could slide my tail right inside your needy little hole so easily…”
“Blitz!” Stolas moans out with a strangled gasp. The sound makes Blitz press his spade harder against the lips of Stolas' cloaca, rubbing up and down, preparing to breach the opening. He's planning on shoving his cock and his tail in Stolas at the same time so he can fuck both his holes at once, when Stolas suddenly starts shaking. “Oh! Oh, Blitz! A-AH!” he cries out, cum spilling over Blitz's tail as he climaxes.
Holy shit. Blitz’s chest swells with pride as he realizes he just made Stolas come from some teasing and dirty talk. But his high quickly plummets when he sees Stolas' expression shift into distress.
“I'm sorry, I'm so — I didn't mean to — so quickly,” Stolas babbles, shaking his head and looking like he might cry. Blitz has no fucking clue why he looks so distraught. It's not like they're gonna call it quits after one orgasm. And besides, shouldn't coming like that have Stolas feeling blissed out?
Panicking, Blitz moves on impulse, grabbing Stolas' face and pulling him up to crush their mouths together in a kiss.
Stolas kisses him back with a desperate and frantic energy. Blitz lets him at first, but eventually he eases off to break the kiss. Stolas tries to chase his lips with a choked cry, but Blitz holds him back, petting his head feathers.
Even though Blitz doesn't understand a lick of what's going on in Stolas' head right now, he does know when his bird needs softer treatment. “Eaaasy, there ain't a need to rush,” Blitz soothes. “We got all night, baby.”
He leans back in to kiss Stolas, but this time he guides him into a soft, slow rhythm with their tongues. Stolas follows Blitz's lead, gasping needily against his mouth. And fuck if that sound doesn't go straight to Blitz’s already excited cock.
They make out until they need to break for air. “Fuck, that's it,” Blitz praises between panting breaths. “Bein’ so fuckin’ good for me.”
“Yes, I — I want to be good,” Stolas sounds like he's pleading. “I just want to make you feel good too, my darling —”
Blitz can't hold back a surprised laugh. “Did you somehow miss the rock hard dick all up in your face? Yeeeah, I feel more than just good alright,” he assures Stolas with a nod down to his still straining erection that was just begging for attention.
Stolas laughs and the sound makes Blitz’s stupid little heart flutter. “Well, as long as this is what you want too.” He looks up at Blitz with such a tender and loving expression that it ties Blitz’s stomach in knots. He doesn't deserve a look like that just for being a horny little fucknut.
“Right now what I want is for you to open that pretty mouth nice and wide,” he says, low and gravelly, trying to rekindle the sexy energy from before. Blitz grabs a fist full of the feathers behind Stolas' head in one hand and squeezes the base of his cock with the other.
It works; Stolas' eyes go half-lidded as he complies and opens his mouth. Blitz doesn't waste any time and slides himself into that wet, welcoming heat. He holds Stolas' head with both hands as he starts with a slow, steady rhythm; his cock sliding in deep enough to hit the back of Stolas’ throat with each thrust.
His tail slips back into place against Stolas’ cloaca, rubbing against the opening and gathering up the slick there before starting to push inside. Stolas moans and his legs spread wider as Blitz’s tail slowly enters him. Now he looks completely blissed out.
“Yeaaah you're lovin’ this, aren't ya?” Blitz growls as he pumps his hips faster and works his tail in deeper. “Love gettin’ both of your holes fucked at once, huh?” Fuck. The tight heat around his spade as Blitz pushes it all the way inside Stolas has him seeing stars. He can tell he's getting close to blowing his load already.
Blitz pumps his tail to the same rhythm as his hips as he thrusts in and out of Stolas. He can feel his cock growing stiffer as he picks up the pace. “L-love lettin’ me use you like a personal fuck toy, huh? Fuck, s’like you were born to take it. You look so fucking hot like this Stols, I'm gonna be horny over it for weeks —” Blitz babbles, his mouth running on autopilot.
Stolas' moans grow louder and tears prick at the corner of his eyes as he starts to shake again. He tightens and spasms around Blitz's tail as he comes and the feeling is enough to push Blitz suddenly over the edge too. He comes with a startled cry, shooting a massive load down Stolas' throat without warning.
“Fuuuuck!” Blitz moans. Stolas swallows everything Blitz gives him without flinching. “Ho-oooly shit, good — good job,” Blitz pants as he pulls out of Stolas' mouth.
The praise makes Stolas light up. “I believe you did all the work, darling,” he replies, voice bright and cheery like he hadn't just had his throat fucked raw.
Blitz’s legs feel weak after nutting so hard and he slides down until he's straddling Stolas' lap. “Yeah, well, you took it from both ends like you were made for it — that was hot as fuck,” he continues to praise. “And you know what?” Blitz’s tail is still stuffed inside the bird’s cunt and he gives it an experimental flick. Stolas gasps. “Heh, I think you got one more in ya, birdie.”
“Y-you don't have to — Ah~!” Stolas starts to insist, but cuts off with a choked whimper as Blitz pushes his tail further inside him. His entire body writhes from the overstimulation, but Blitz knows he can take it.
“I dare you to come again, how ‘bout that?” They obviously aren't really playing the game anymore, but Stolas doesn't argue, too busy trying to catch his breath as Blitz moves his tail faster. He flicks the spade hard against Stolas’ inner walls, making him cry out louder.
Blitz keeps a hold of Stolas' face with both hands, watching his expressions, soaking it all in. He'd been worried before… that he might never get the chance to see Stolas like this again. Get to see his face all flushed and scrunched up in pleasure. Get to hear his voice climbing higher as he cries out Blitz’s name in a hot frenzy. This time Blitz is savoring the moment. He's not gonna take it for fucking granted.
“Blitz! Oh Blitzy, yes! Yes! Impale me just like — like that! Yes!” Stolas cries out. His horny babbling makes Blitz tail fuck him harder and when Stolas finally hits his peak, Blitz watches him unravel with wide, unblinking eyes — not wanting to miss a moment.
After, Stolas' entire body goes slack, muscles relaxed. Blitz slowly slides his tail out of the owl’s sensitive cloaca and moves to untie his wrists.
“Well that game went off the fuckin’ rails, but hey, I'd say we both ended up winners, eh?” Blitz jokes, practically collapsing against Stolas' chest. He feels boneless as fuck right now. But he also feels light and giddy.
He finally got Stolas off. And Stolas got him off. They got off together. Blitz finally feels like he did something right.
“Mmm, indeed we are,” Stolas agrees with a happy hum. He uses his magic to levitate a blanket over the both of them as he lays down against the pillows, taking Blitz with him.
Stolas slides his hand under Blitz's shirt, running his fingers up and down his bare back, this time in a gentle, relaxing way. The motion makes Blitz purr before he can bite it back. “‘Kay, I'm just gonna — just gonna rest my eyes for a sec,” Blitz tells Stolas as he nuzzles against his chest fluff. “Night’s still young and I say we got more partyin’ left in us —!” He cuts off with a yawn.
“You're right, I —” Stolas yawns as well. “I'm not quite ready for the night to be over yet…” His voice is soft and soothing.
“Oh I'm not done with you yet, babe, don't worry,” Blitz promises in a low rumble. Stolas squeezes him tighter and it's just so damn warm and comfortable that Blitz is dozing off before he realizes it.
~~~
They end up sleeping through the night like lame-ass elderly adults. Blitz would be mad about it, except he slept great with his head pillowed on Stolas' feathered tits.
He oversleeps, in fact. There isn't even time in the morning for a quickie before Blitz has got to shove on his clothes, kiss Stolas on the cheek, and portal into work.
Blitz strolls into the office whistling a cheerful tune as the portal snaps shut behind him.
“Sir! You're late!” Moxxie scolds, immediately on his ass. “We have a client who —”
“Who wants to talk to the big dick in charge, I got it! I got it!” Blitz cuts him off, shoving past Moxxie. “No need to wet yourself, Moxx, I'm here to handle it.” Moxxie groans in protest, but Blitz barrels on to greet the client. “Sorry about the wait! I’m Blitz, the O is silent, ready to murder and maim just for you! Now who's the unlucky son of a bitch you're lookin’ to take out today?”
~~~
After a couple of successful hits, it's nearly lunchtime. Blitz is about to suggest the gang hit up a new taco truck down the street when his phone chirps with a text notification. He checks and sees a message from Stolas that says, ‘If you don't already have lunch plans, I'd be happy to stop by and bring you something to eat.’
Right after that he adds, ‘I may have gotten a tad carried away with the preparations for last night and now we have an abundance of cheese-related foods on hand. Silly me! But I'd be happy to share!’
HEH. So Stolas wants to have lunch together, huh? Suuuure. Blitz knew as soon as he got Stolas off, that thirsty bird would start searching for any excuse to get at his dick again. Though this was even sooner than Blitz expected. He must just be that good.
“I’ll be in my office, gang!” Blitz announces to the group as he kicks open his office door. “If there's an emergency — handle it your fuckin’ selves!”
Before Moxxie can even so much as whimper in protest, Blitz hangs a ‘do nut disterb’ sign on his door and slams it shut behind him.
He texts Stolas back, ‘k, cum 2 my office’ before moving to settle into his chair, propping his feet up on the desk like the bad bitch boss he is.
Everything’s going according to plan now. Soon Stolas will realize that Blitz’s only redeeming quality is being a good fuck and… that's what Blitz wanted all along, right?
Well, not really. But it’s all he should be allowed to have.
A portal rips open into his office and Blitz does his best to shove aside the heaviness in his heart and project an aura of sexy confidence before Stolas steps through.
"Heeeeya, sugar! You bring something sweet for daddy to nibble on~?" Blitz gives Stolas an obvious flirtatious once over.
“Oh I'm afraid I only brought lunch… though I did bring enough for everyone, just in case!” Stolas replies, either ignoring or oblivious to Blitz's flirting. He sets down multiple containers on top of Blitz's desk. “Unfortunately I can't stay long — I promised Via I’d eat with her, but I couldn't resist an excuse to come see you and say hi~”
… Hi? Stolas just wants to stop by to say hi?? Blitz had been so certain the prince came here to try and get his ass reamed that he’s thrown completely off kilter.
Stolas keeps chattering on, “Oh! And with all the excitement last night, I completely forgot to tell you about my breakfast with Loona!” He moves around to Blitz's side of the desk and perches on the edge.
Blitz is still trying to get his bearings back. “O-oh yeah, how — uh, how'd that go?” he stutters out.
“Wonderful! It was quite the ah — charming establishment. And Loona was so very helpful!”
Blitz beams. “That's my Loonie-Toonie! Helpin’ out, even when she's trying not to!”
“She made the most brilliant suggestion! That you and I should take her and Via up to Earth to view the aurora borealis,” Stolas gushes, clasping his hands together and holding them against his cheek.
“Uhhh wow. My Loonie thought of that, huh?” Blitz wonders what the fuck she said to accidentally give Stolas that idea.
“Yes! What do you think?” Stolas asks, his eyes sparkling and hopeful — his excitement palpable.
And Blitz is never going to beat the whipped allegations now. He’s too weak. He can't help but reply, “I think it — it sounds like a blast and a half!”
Stolas beams. “I'm so glad you think so too! Don't worry, I’ll take care of all the details — Oh, but of course I’ll call you so we can decide what day and time works best.” He stands up and sighs wistfully. “I really should be going, but it was so lovely to see you, my dearest.” He leans down to plant a sweet kiss on Blitz's cheek.
Blitz's heart feels like it's doing a wild acrobatic routine against his will. On impulse, he reaches out and grabs Stolas' face to pull him in for a proper kiss on the lips. But despite Blitz trying to go in with tongue, it doesn't get heated. Stolas kisses back sweet and tender before breaking off and standing up.
“I hope you enjoy the lunch, Blitzy. And I hope you have a wonderful day too,” he adds as he opens a portal back to his palace. “We’ll talk later. Bye, darling~!”
As the portal closes and Blitz is left alone in his office with four lunches and a dry dick, all he can think is… this whole thing REALLY didn't go according to plan at all.
Notes:
This was only supposed to be the first HALF of chapter 7... but clearly I have no sense for estimating word count lol
Thanks to all of you who haven't given up on this story! I appreciate you all SO MUCH!! 💖💖💖
Chapter 8: A Kick-Ass Daddy-Daughter Adventure
Summary:
Stolas and Blitz take their daughters on a trip to the living world and act totally appropriate the whole time.
Notes:
hello hello! it's been a while, but here I have an 11k chapter for you all to sink your teeth into
I did a lot of research about the aurora borealis, but apologies if I still got something wrong. also I have to shout out Mallloween for inspiring me with her comic where Blitz calls the borealis the "borey anus" — it's too perfect and I had to include it
and my deepest gratitude as always to Treble and Sonnet for your suggestions and support 💖 you both are the best!
aaaand major thanks to all of YOU for reading!! I appreciate all your comments and kudos and encouragement more than I can express!
alright settle in and enjoy~
Chapter Text
Stolas waves and blows one more kiss to Blitz before the portal closes and he's left standing alone in his palace hallway. His beak digs into his bottom lip as he tries to suppress a giddy squeal.
He can't believe how well his relationship with Blitz is progressing! Even though last night went… further than he’d intended.
Stolas had truly only expected their romantic movie evening to include some cuddling and kissing. And perhaps a little necking… or even some light groping… But as usual, the fires of passion burned too hot between them to stop there.
The last thing Stolas wants is to repeat his previous mistakes. For Blitz to feel… obligated to please him. But he believes it's different this time; the desire seems mutual. Stolas remembers the way Blitz’s eyes blazed with a smouldering heat last night. How he held Stolas so tightly in place while thrusting into his mouth with reckless abandon. The filthy words he whispered in that deep, gravelly tone as his hips snapped harder and faster and —
Stolas shakes his head to clear away the distracting daydreams.
He makes his way to the dining area with a spring in his step, but upon entering the room he finds it empty. Brow furrowing, he moves to check the breakfast nook instead, but Octavia isn't there either. He searches for her in the living room, the parlor, the second dining area, the patio… but they're all empty.
With a frown Stolas makes his way to her bedroom. He finds the door shut and gives it a polite knock before opening it and peeking inside.
Octavia is lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling, her headphones plugged into her ears. She turns her head as he enters the room, pulling one of her earbuds out, expression stony.
"I've been searching for you, Starfire. I, ah — thought we were having lunch together…?" Stolas gently reminds her.
"No. You wanted to have lunch together. I'm not hungry," Octavia replies, turning her head back to continue staring at the ceiling.
Ah, so she's still cross with him. Stolas twiddles his talons and hesitates as he tries to find the right words to abate her anger.
"Anything else? Or are we done here?" Octavia asks, sounding tired. It breaks Stolas' heart.
He plucks up his courage. "Actually! I wanted to talk to you —" Stolas takes a deep breath to steady himself. "I feel absolutely awful about how things turned out at the gala. I'd like to make it up to you."
This seems to grab Octavia's attention. She sits up, raising a brow as she looks at Stolas. "How?"
It's enough of an opening that Stolas feels encouraged. He moves to take a seat next to Octavia on her bed. "How would you like to take a trip to the living world together? Earth has many fascinating natural phenomena! I thought observing the aurora borealis would be a lovely experience," Stolas explains.
"I guess that could be cool," Octavia shrugs. But the way she visibly brightens betrays her nonchalance.
The modicum of approval alright has Stolas buzzing with excited energy. "Wonderful! Now, the borealis can be quite fickle, but not to worry, dear — I'll be certain to monitor the Earth's solar and magnetic activity and find us a suitable place to view the lights."
"Sounds complicated," Octavia comments, pulling out her second earbud. Stolas is delighted to have captivated her interest.
"It certainly can be! The weather is also an important factor. Too much cloud cover will dash any chance to see the sky's brilliant display," Stolas continues to explain. "Fortunately if one location does not work for us, we have simple means to move to another. This gives us quite the edge in our 'hunt.'"
"Sounds like fun," Octavia grins, looking much more cheerful now. Then she ducks her head, picking at a spot on her comforter. "… Thanks, dad."
"Thank you, Via. For allowing me to make things right." Stolas gazes at her fondly for a moment before venturing, "And… are you certain you're not hungry?"
Octavia appears to think it over. "I guess I am a little hungry," she finally concedes.
Stolas is so relieved that Octavia is amenable to having lunch with him that it isn't until much later, when he's settled in his office, that he realizes… He completely forgot to tell her that Blitz and Loona will be joining them for their excursion.
Well, that's alright. Stolas tells himself it can be a nice surprise. Octavia seemed to get along with Loona before… He's fairly certain. So it should be fine! A lovely time indeed.
Any worry Stolas feels is drowned out by his excitement for the trip. He neglects his duties in favor of researching the best places for viewing and orders supplies to help make the experience more comfortable. Stolas is practically bursting with glee once he has the plans all figured out. Not for the first time, he's grateful Stella isn't around. She always took a special joy in tearing him down whenever he got too excitable like this.
Except, as the days go on, a problem arises. Stolas can't seem to schedule an agreeable night for their trip with Blitz. His darling is apparently so busy, he doesn't even have time to chat; all of Stolas' calls go to voicemail and his texts are met with one-word replies.
At first Stolas assures himself that it's all understandable. Blitz is a very busy business-owner! Of course he can't just drop everything for Stolas all the time.
But as Blitz continues to avoid him, Stolas struggles to justify it. It feels as though he's tripped backwards into the same problems he was having with Blitz months ago.
Stolas starts to feel so dejected that not even his happy pills seem to be having much effect… Or perhaps they do. Stolas shudders to think how he'd be feeling right now without them.
Blitz's sudden change in attitude has Stolas reflecting on the last night they spent together. Even though Blitz had really seemed to want him too… Did Stolas still somehow misread the situation? Had he allowed lust to cloud his judgement once more? Did he unintentionally make Blitz uncomfortable? Do something to push him away again?
The uncertainty plays through his head like a song on repeat.
On the night a full moon arrives, Stolas realizes it's been two weeks since he's seen Blitz. In the life of a Goetia, two weeks should feel like less than the blink of an eye, but to Stolas it feels like it's been an eternity. Two weeks without even hearing Blitz's voice is agony.
In desperate need of a distraction, Stolas tries to lose himself in a tawdry romance novel. Except reading about Juan whispering sweet nothings into Sasha's ear is only serving to make him feel more depressed.
"Oh Sasha, you lucky —" Stolas hiccups. "Lucky little bitch…" Bitterness claws up Stolas' throat as he moves to pour himself another glass of wine. He takes a long sip before sighing and sinking further down into the plush pillows on his bed.
The breeze from his open balcony doors flutters the curtains, drawing Stolas' attention. Oh, what he wouldn't give to see his Blitzy climbing over the railing right now.
To have Blitz here, his eyes shining bright with humor. He imagines the pair of them lying here on the bed next to one another, fingers intertwined as they stare into each other's eyes. His heart racing at the sound of Blitz's warm, rich voice as he admits how much he's missed Stolas… How he couldn't wait to get here tonight and talk to him…
Stolas scoffs at himself. Such a foolish fantasy. He throws back the rest of his wine.
But just as he's chugging the drink, his phone begins to ring. Blitzy's ringtone. Stolas' eyes bulge out and he chokes on the liquid, his heart leaping as he scrambles to answer the call.
"Blitzy!" Stolas gasps into the phone, still trying to catch his breath.
"Heeeey Stolie-pie!" Blitz greets, all cheer. The combination of the pet name and hearing Blitz's voice again has Stolas' heart skipping a beat. "Boy, don't you sound out of breath, huh? I catch you at a bad time? Three fingers deep in the ol' cloaca?" Blitz goes on, as though this is a casual topic of conversation. Then he adds in a quick mumble, "... You can send pics."
"Um…" Stolas blinks down at himself. He's wearing his robe, so it would be easy to…
He shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts. The way Blitz is speaking to Stolas as though he hasn't been avoiding him is too off-putting to truly entertain such ideas.
Stolas regains his composure. "I don't see why I should!" He sniffs in a haughty pout. "Considering this is the first time you've bothered to speak to me in weeks!"
Blitz stutters out some incomprehensible syllables, clearly caught off guard. "Wha —! But —! W-wait, so you are three fingers deep in…?"
"Why haven't you returned my calls?!" Stolas demands.
"I — I tried!" Blitz insists. "But everything's been goin' tits up over here! And as the big dick in charge, I gotta take care of that shit — It ain't my fault I've been busy!"
Of course Stolas knows Blitz's job must be difficult. He shouldn't expect Blitz to prioritize him over it… and yet, his foolish heart had hoped… hoped that he was becoming as important to Blitz as Blitz is to him.
"Right." Stolas blinks rapidly, his eyes stinging. He fails to hide the misery in his voice. "Of course, I understand. It's just — " Stolas hesitates, but the alcohol buzzing through his veins has loosened his tongue. "Even a few minutes to — to hear your voice, or to hear about your day… or have you ask about mine. It would have been quite nice."
"I wanted to —!" The desperation in Blitz's tone makes Stolas almost believe him. "But h-hey, I gotcha on the horn now, don't I? So — So uh, how was your daaaay?"
"Well it doesn't count now that I told you to ask!" Stolas cries, exasperated.
Blitz groans. "Oh come on! Gimmie a break here, Stolas! I didn't even get a fuckin' chance to ask before you started reaming my ass for not calling!"
Stolas' throat feels tight. Blitz finally calls him and Stolas is already ruining the conversation with his silly emotions. A full blown argument with Blitz is the last thing he wants. He worries that if this continues, he'll only make the situation worse; especially given his inebriated state.
It makes his heart feel heavy, but Stolas starts to suggest, "It's quite late, so perhaps it's best we speak another time. I should really be going to —"
"WAIT!" Blitz shouts, and the panic in his tone makes Stolas pause. "Just — Just wait a sec, Stols. I— I uh, I called for a reason, y'know!"
"Oh?" Stolas feels a flicker of hope in his chest.
"That's right! I was callin' to — to see if you're available tonight. Right now."
Stolas can't help the way his heart leaps. Of course he wants to see Blitz, but… Stolas sighs, casting a sad glance out his window at the moon lighting up the sky. "Oh, Blitzy. I'm not really in the mood for — for fornica —"
Before Stolas can finish the sentence, Blitz rushes to add, "I was thinkin' we could go see that borey anus thing tonight!"
"The borealis?" Stolas asks with a hitch in his breath.
"Right, yeah, that thing you were creamin' yourself over! I mean, why not, right? I'm finally free, and I know Loonie's down because I definitely, toootally asked her," Blitz hurries to explain. "So, I mean, if you're not busy, it could work… right?"
It's so last minute, but Stolas desperately wants to go on this outing. He feels he's disappointed Octavia for far too long now. And he wants to share the experience with all three of them so very badly. "Yes, I — Okay!" he agrees before he can think better of it.
"Yeah?" Blitz breathes out.
"Yes!" Stolas affirms, springing to his feet, nervous and excited energy coiling in his gut. "I'll have to let Via know, of course, but I'm certain she'll be thrilled to go tonight!" At least… He certainly hopes she will be.
"Great! Fuck yeah! Fantastic!" Blitz cheers in rapid succession. "So uh, should we meet at yours? Ooor?"
Octavia still doesn't know about Blitz and Loona joining them and Stolas doesn't want to spoil the surprise. "Let's meet on Earth!" he suggests. "I can send you the location. Oh and be sure to dress for the cold!" Stolas makes his way to his closet so he can do just that.
"Cold? The fuck do you mean — How cold are we talkin' here, Stols?"
"Oh we'll be in the arctic, so it will be quite freezing," Stolas explains, distracted as he shuffles through the clothes in his closet.
"Freezing?! Fuuuuu —"
"I shouldn't be more than 30!" Stolas interrupts, brightening as he pulls out the coat he was looking for. "See you soon, darling~!"
And with that, Stolas ends the call. There's much to prepare and little time to do so. He can't waste a moment!
After dressing in his burgundy peacoat and white scarf, Stolas hurries to Octavia's room. He's so excited that he forgets his manners and bursts into her bedroom without knocking.
Octavia is reclining against the pillows on her bed with a book in hand. Even though she's wearing headphones, Stolas' entrance startles her enough that she drops the book she's reading. Eyes wide, she pulls off her headphones as she looks toward Stolas. "Dad? What's…" She looks up and down at what he's wearing. "… going on?"
Stolas bounces on his talons, barely able to contain his excitement. "As it turns out, tonight is an excellent night for aurora viewing! I know it's last minute, but what do you say? Ready to chase down the lights, my Starfire?"
To Stolas' delight, Octavia's eyes light up and she laughs as she scoots off her bed. "Yes! I almost thought you'd forgotten."
"Never," Stolas promises, beaming at her. "Now, be sure to wear a coat and layer thoroughly. It will be quite cold where we're going! Meet me in the foyer when you're ready."
"Got it," Octavia replies, making her way to her closet. Stolas casts one more fond look at her before scurrying off.
The staff has retired for the evening and although Stolas could summon help, he doesn't want to waste time waiting for them. So instead, he scrambles to gather everything himself; stuffing all his supplies into an oversized tote bag and spilling chocolate powder all over the counter as he prepares four tumblers of hot chocolate and secures them into a drink carrier he purchased for the occasion.
Getting ready in such a frenzy has Stolas nearly out of breath by the time Octavia meets him in the foyer.
“Ready, my owlet?” Stolas asks as he opens a portal and guides Octavia out into the arctic wilderness of Earth. The blast of cold air feels like a shock to the system, helping to further sober Stolas up.
He chose a remote area for this outing, far away from any pesky human civilization that might trouble them. They stand on a high clearing, the trees below and distant mountain ranges illuminated only by the light of the full moon. Fortunately the skies are clear of cloud cover.
"Woah…" Octavia's eyes are wide as she takes in the snow-covered landscape around them, the puff of her breath visible in the chilled air. "It's even colder here than it is at Uncle's palace."
"Mm, yes," Stolas agrees. "The aurora borealis is most visible in areas around the arctic — It's quite the chilly place, isn't it!"
Via huffs a laugh. "That's an understatement, dad."
"Not to worry, Starfire. There are many ways to help us stave off the cold! Now let's see…" Stolas hums as he uses his magic to levitate a large log into the clearing; something they can use as a makeshift bench. He rummages through his tote bag as he walks over, pulling out a little 'portable fire pit' he'd ordered online.
Octavia raises an eyebrow as Stolas removes the lid and sets it down in front of the log. "You brought a candle to keep us warm?" she asks, failing to smother a teasing laugh.
"No, of course not! It's a —" Stolas pauses as he looks the tin container over. "Well, it does rather resemble a candle, doesn't it?" He chuckles, using his magic to light a fire.
"Guess it's easier than trying to build a real fire," Octavia admits. Stolas sets down the supplies he brought next to the log and Octavia eyes the drink carrier curiously. "Are we really going to need that much to drink?"
The question startles Stolas and he casts a nervous glance at the four travel tumblers. He struggles to think of an excuse that won't spoil the surprise. "Ah, yes. Um, well —"
As if on cue, a portal tears open next to them.
"Fuuuuck me! I think my balls just shriveled up so far they went right inside me!" Blitz exclaims as soon as he steps out into the snow, arms wrapped around himself. Loona follows behind him, looking sour as the portal snaps closed behind her.
Blitz is wearing a black winter coat with a red striped scarf and an adorable little mitten for his tail spade. Loona is dressed in a hoodie and Stolas worries that might not keep her warm enough, but despite her lack of coat, she doesn't appear to be shivering like Blitz.
"What…" Octavia trails off in a startled whisper. "What's he doing here?" she asks louder, grimacing.
And Stolas means to answer her, he really does… but as his gaze lingers on Blitz, it's as though all the air has been punched out of his lungs. It feels like ages since Stolas last laid eyes on him. And now that they're reunited, Stolas realizes just how much he's been starving for a mere glance at Blitz's face.
Blitz seems similarly awestruck as he gazes up at Stolas with wide, shining eyes. "H-hi…" he chokes out.
Stolas doesn't know why, but it makes him giggle. "Hello," he greets back, feeling suddenly light and giddy. Blitz grins at him and it makes butterflies explode in Stolas' stomach.
"Why the fuck are you two acting so weird?" Loona interjects.
They both jolt, the spell broken. "Whaaat! Pft! We're not acting WEIRD, Loonie!" Blitz insists with an awkward laugh. "We're just sayin' hi!"
"Yeah, in a way that's totally fucking weird," she counters, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. "If you two get gross, we're totally ditching." Loona nods her head towards Octavia.
The acknowledgement makes Octavia brighten. "That's right," she agrees, crossing her arms like Loona.
"Hey, relax! We can toootally keep it PG-13," Blitz argues. Then his eyes quickly travel up and down Stolas. "Probably," he amends.
Octavia groans. "Some warning we were going to have company tonight would have been nice, dad," she complains.
Stolas winces. He has an apology on the tip of his tongue, but Loona interjects, "Wait, you didn't tell her we were coming?" She sounds similarly exasperated with him.
"I — I thought it would be a fun surprise," Stolas tries to explain, wilting under Loona's unimpressed glare.
"You thought hanging out with Blitz would be a fun surprise? Really?" Loona repeats, tone heavy with skepticism.
This time, Blitz interrupts. "Oh HA HEE fuckin' HA, Loona!" He makes a garbled sound in the back of his throat. "I mean, okay, fair point and all, but ease up on Stolas, girls, would ya!" Blitz marches over to Stolas and winds an arm around his thighs before pulling them flush against each other's sides. "He's been workin' his tight little ass off setting up this daddy-daughter frozen light show trip for us, so try and show a little appreciation, m'kay!"
Stolas is rendered speechless. He's not used to this. To having… someone in his corner. The voice in his head that was ready to berate him for being such a clueless fool quiets down. "Thank you, Blitz," he finally manages to choke out, before going on louder. "I realize it's quite ah, brisk out here, but I packed us all heated blankets and mugs of hot cocoa to help battle the chill!"
“Heated blankets? Oh thank fuck,” Blitz practically moans. The sound makes Stolas shiver, his feathers fluffing a bit. He quickly bends down to retrieve the blankets in an attempt to hide his reaction. As he leans over, Blitz goes on to crow, “See? Just like I said — been workin this sweet ass off for us!” He then slaps Stolas’ rear, the sound like the crack of a whip in the quiet night air.
Suddenly Stolas is sure he won't need a blanket, with the way his face heats up. Both Loona and Octavia retch. “What the fuck did I JUST say?” Loona growls.
“What! I was just bein’ friendly!” Blitz argues, proceeding to gently pat Stolas’ behind multiple times as if to illustrate his point. “See, like — Great job, buddy!”
Stolas snaps upright so quickly that the blankets in his grasp unfurl and he realizes… What he thought was a stack of blankets is in reality just one big blanket. Stolas stares at it in confusion for a moment.
"All good there, babe?" Blitz asks. Octavia looks grossed out as she silently mouths 'babe?'
"It… appears that I only have the one blanket," Stolas admits with a self-conscious chuckle. It had looked so thick when folded, Stolas really thought it was a stack of four blankets when he'd grabbed it. "Not to worry though! I'll just pop back home and grab more right away!"
Stolas lifts a hand, but before he can create a portal, Blitz interrupts.
"Woah! Hang on there!" Blitz grabs a corner of the blanket that had fallen to the ground, tugging it up. "This blanket is fuckin’ — kaiju sized. We can all fit under this thing, easy! Come on and huddle up, gang!" Blitz takes Stolas by the hand and starts to guide him towards the make-shift log bench.
"It won't take but a moment, Blitz," Stolas tries to insist, even as he follows Blitz's lead.
"A moment's all it'll take to miss the start of this whorey borey anus thing," Blitz argues, using his tail to dust the log free of any debris. "Nuh uh, no way, siree! We're all going to experience this magical fucking moment TOGETHER! So don't worry your pretty feathered head about it."
Blitz takes a hold of the blanket with his tail so he can gently grasp both of Stolas' hands and help him lower onto the log and sit. Stolas is about to coo over what a gentleman his Blitzy is, when he notices Octavia staring. Her brow is drawn down as her gaze lingers on their clasped hands. It makes Stolas' gut twist with nerves. He really needs to explain the nature of his relationship with Blitz to her before the night is through.
"So we're just supposed to plant our asses here on this frozen tree?" Loona grumbles as she does just that.
"It'll be fine, Loonie! We're all gonna snuggle up real close and the collective body heat will keep us from freezing to death!" Blitz explains cheerfully as he hands one corner of the blanket to Stolas and travels around to hand the other one to Loona. Octavia settles between Stolas and Loona, the blanket easily covering all three of them.
"Try and cuddle with me and I will punch you in your shriveled nuts," Loona threatens. Octavia snorts out a surprised laugh.
Blitz laughs too. "Settin' boundaries! Good on you, sweetie." He takes a pointedly large step away from Loona, moving to settle on Stolas' left side.
Stolas wraps an arm around Blitz, pulling him close. Even through the layers of clothing, Stolas can feel how much his darling is shivering. He switches on the blanket’s electric heating, hoping it will warm Blitz quickly.
He's about to grab the hot cocoa as well, but is distracted when Loona asks, “So when's this light show supposed to happen anyway?”
“Oh the northern lights can be quite unpredictable,” Stolas explains. “It may take hours! Or they might not even show up here at all. In which case, we may have to pack up and try another location.”
“Hours?” Loona repeats, sounding horrified.
“We should be able to get some cool photos when they show up,” Octavia points out, remaining optimistic. “I read that cameras can pick up more of the colors than what the naked eye can see.”
Blitz leans harder into Stolas’ side and rests his hand on top of the prince’s thigh. “I know what my eye’d like to see naked,” Blitz murmurs low against Stolas' shoulder, giving his thigh a squeeze.
“Blitz!” Stolas hoots, trying to sound stern and admonishing, but the effect is ruined when he can't seem to smother his laughter.
“I can HEAR you, jackass,” Loona scolds, giving Blitz a flat look as her ears flick.
“What! I didn't —!” Blitz starts to protest, but seems to think better of it. “Hey, that one's not my fault, okay! You can't just set up the pins like that and expect me NOT to knock ‘em down!”
Octavia groans. “Is he always like this?”
“Nope,” Loona sighs. “He's usually worse.”
Stolas knows the girls are only teasing, but even still he feels the desire to reassure Blitz — to be in his corner too. “I rather like when you're worse,” Stolas whispers, leaning against Blitz and nudging his side.
Blitz’s surprised little laugh is like music to Stolas’ ears. “Ohhh, for you? I can be the worst,” Blitz promises, voice dropping into a low growl. It makes Stolas shiver.
“Soooo!” Loona interjects with her voice raised, turning to Octavia. “Hoping to get some pics for Sinstagram?”
Octavia brightens. “Definitely! I mean, if they're good…” She ducks her head, looking shy. “Would you… want to take a selfie? Once the lights show up, I mean.”
“Hell yeah,” Loona agrees. “It's not everyday you get to see cool cosmic shit like this — We gotta show off, right?”
“Right! Exactly.” Octavia lifts her head and smiles… but it falls when she notices Blitz and Stolas watching them with matching expressions of adoration. “Um. What's with that look…?”
“I'm just so happy you two are getting along!” Stolas coos.
“Daaaaad,” Octavia groans, covering her face in embarrassment.
“Our babies are becoming besties!” Blitz sings, pulling out his phone. “Hang on, lemme get a pic —”
“Put that thing away or I will smash it,” Loona threatens.
“Alright, alright,” Blitz concedes. But then he lifts his phone and quickly takes a picture before stashing it away.
“Blitz!” Loona snaps.
“OH!” Stolas suddenly hoots. “I nearly forgot about the hot cocoa! And!” He leans down to rummage through his tote. “I brought marshmallows to roast as well!” Stolas pulls out the bag of marshmallows and wiggles them proudly. During his research for the trip, Stolas had been so charmed by the photos of campers sitting by the fireside and toasting marshmallows on their little wooden sticks. He wants to try it as well.
“Ooo nice!” Blitz praises. The hand that's on Stolas' thigh moves to wrap around his waist instead. “You know how I like gettin’ a little sugar from you~”
Out of the corner of his eyes Stolas catches the girls miming gagging, but he doesn't pay the teasing any mind. Instead he just titters, plucking a marshmallow from the bag and holding it up to Blitz’s mouth. “Oh how can I resist? You know I'm quite sweet on you~”
Blitz grins, his tongue snaking out and dragging slowly along Stolas’ fingers before wrapping around the marshmallow to pull it into his mouth. Stolas flushes. Oh Lucifer, that tongue.
“I’m… gonna be sick,” Octavia complains, holding up a hand to block her view of Blitz and Stolas.
Loona springs to her feet. “Nope, that's it! We’re fucking out of here. I warned you assholes —”
Octavia interrupts Loona's berating with a gasp. “Wait! Look!” she cries out, pointing upwards.
They all pause, looking up to see a subtle green streaking across the sky. Gradually the color becomes more vibrant; it ripples in waves with flickers of pink and purple shimmering overhead.
“Woah,” Loona breathes out with awe, her shoulders sagging as she settles back down to sit.
“It's incredible!” Octavia gushes, hurrying to pull her phone out and take pictures. Loona follows her lead at a more relaxed pace.
“It is, isn’t it?” Stolas agrees with a happy chirp, thrilled with Octavia’s positive reaction. He doesn't take photos and instead just enjoys the sight of the aurora and the girls enjoying it. “Simply breathtaking!”
“You're tellin’ me!” Blitz chimes in, the shutter sound effect of his phone camera going off.
Stolas smiles, sneaking a glance at Blitz to enjoy his reaction as well, but is surprised to find the imp’s phone aimed at him instead of the lights. “Blitzy? What are you doing?” Stolas asks with a self-conscious laugh, tilting his head.
“Gettin’ some primo shots of the best view in the house, what else?” Blitz flashes his fangs as he smiles, snapping another photo of Stolas. It makes the prince flush.
“Oh don't be silly!” Stolas cries. “This — This is a stunning natural phenomenon!” He gestures to the sky as though urging Blitz to look closer at the aurora. “And we're lucky to catch sight of it at this intensity! It's not always this vibrant, you know —!”
The girls seem to understand the weight of the moment, now capturing video of the ribbons of color leaping across the sky. But Blitz only looks smug as his gaze doesn't budge.
“Uh huh, keep yappin’ —” he goads. “Love how your face gets when you talk nerdy to me.” Blitz snaps another photo and looks it over with bright eyes. “Ohhh yeah, that's a beaut!”
Stolas huffs an exasperated laugh. Well fine, two can play at this game. He whips out his phone and takes his own picture of Blitz.
“Woah wait what the fuck—!”
“Fair is fair, darling~!” Stolas teases before Blitz can finish protesting. “Now I have my own beautiful souvenir photo, thank you~” He looks over the candid photo to see he caught Blitz smiling and it makes Stolas' heart squeeze. Blitz looks so grumpy in most of the photos Stolas has on his phone… He’ll cherish this one.
“You dirty bitch!” Blitz laughs, smacking Stolas’ side with his tail.
The laughter is infectious and in the heat of the moment Stolas forgets himself. “Oh, for you? I can be the dirtiest,” he purrs, low and flirtatious.
“UGH!” Octavia cries out, jumping out of her seat and shaking her head. “I can't do it — I can't listen to this anymore!” She stomps away toward the trees, her aggressive footsteps crunching against the snow.
Her abrupt outburst startles Stolas out of his bubble. “Octavia? What’s wrong?” he calls out, immediately moving to try and follow her, eyes filled with concern.
But Loona stands up and blocks his path, holding up a hand. “I’ll go talk to her,” she says.
“But —!” Stolas starts to argue.
“Just trust me. You’ll only make it worse right now,” Loona tells him bluntly. Stolas wilts but relents, taking a step back. Loona then turns her gaze toward Blitz. “You should talk too,” she grits out, giving him a pointed look.
Stolas glances between the pair and notices that Blitz appears to be sweating under her scrutiny. His eyes shift from side to side, but then he laughs, loud and boisterous. “Ooooh! Ho-kay, you take your time and go get Octavia, honey. Stolas and I will sit here and have a nice taaaalk,” Blitz replies with an exaggerated wink.
Loona glowers at him. “Whatever,” she scoffs, turning on her heel and striding off in the direction Octavia went.
Stolas stays rooted where he's standing, nervous and uncertain as he watches Loona disappear into a thicket of trees. His attention is only pulled away once he feels Blitz take a hold of his hand.
“Don't worry, Loonie’s got it covered,” Blitz assures Stolas as he takes both his hands and guides him to sit back down. “The nose knows which way go… y’know?” Blitz chuckles.
Stolas smiles, grateful for Loona's help and Blitz’s reassurance. “Yes, she's more than capable,” he agrees. “I only wish that I didn't keep driving Via off in the first place.” He sighs. “I know that change can be… a lot. But I only want us all to be…” Stolas looks down at their still clasped hands and flushes. “Nevermind.” It was too soon to voice his silly fantasies.
Blitz uses his thumbs to rub circles into the back of Stolas’ hands. “Hey, come on, you — you’re doing great,” he insists. “Didn't you see how stoked the girls got about the space lights? It's not your fault that, well…” Blitz trails off, looking thoughtful.
Stolas doesn't quite believe it, but he smiles, appreciating Blitz’s comforting words nonetheless. It's still jarring to him just how sweet and affectionate Blitz is acting after avoiding him for two weeks. Stolas wonders if perhaps Blitz really was just very busy. Maybe there's nothing wrong after all. But if that's true, then… “What did Loona mean before? Did you want to talk about something, dear?”
Blitz jolts. “Uhhhh… Well, I, uh —” Suddenly his demeanor shifts; he smirks as he gazes at Stolas through half-lidded eyes. “Actually, I was thinkin’ maybe our tongues could do some talking~’
Stolas suspects it's a deflection, and he refuses to take the bait this time. “Loona sounded quite serious,” he points out.
“Well IIIII seriously don't know what she was talkin' about!” Blitz insists. “Everything’s fine!” His voice cracks on the word ‘fine.’
What can Stolas do besides take his word for it? “Okay,” he concedes. “Thank you, Blitz. For all your support tonight.” Stolas leans down and kisses Blitz’s forehead.
When he pulls back, Blitz’s eyes are wide and shining, the stars reflecting in those yellow irises. He chokes out, “Stolas, I —”
“You assholes BETTER not be doing anything gross or I will tear you a new one!” Loona barks as she marches back over to the campsite with Octavia in tow.
Stolas reflexively springs to his feet, his hands slipping out of Blitz’s grasp. He wants to rush to Octavia's side and apologize, but hesitates as he watches the girls pause their trek to take a selfie together. It warms Stolas’ heart to see them getting along so well.
Blitz moves to stand next to Stolas and calls out to the girls, “Hey! How about lettin’ your dear old daddies in on the action, huh? Don't you want a picture with uuuus?”
“Not really,” Loona replies flatly.
“Weeell you're getting one!” Blitz says, sounding cheerful despite Loona’s rebuffing. He takes Stolas by the hand and tugs him toward where the girls are standing.
“O-oh, it’s alright, Blitz. I'd hate to impose if they don't want to…” Stolas tries to protest, even though he’d love nothing more than a picture of the four of them together.
“It's… fine, dad,” Octavia cuts in. Stolas stops and gapes. The small concession has him wondering what in the stars Loona said to Octavia.
“Here —” Blitz thrusts his phone into Stolas' free hand, jolting him out of his shock. “Tallest’s gotta take the pic, Mr. I’ve-got-legs-for-days.”
Stolas’ beak curves up in a smile. “Jealous, Blitzy?” he teases as he lifts the phone.
Blitz snorts. “Not a bit.” He winds an arm around Stolas and gives his leg a pointed squeeze.
As Stolas positions the camera to fit the four of them in the frame, he notices that Octavia's smile resembles a grimace, but that's more of a smile than he expected. Loona also doesn't look as irritated as he anticipated either. Blitz is beaming and his expression makes Stolas brighten too. “Ready?” he asks everyone.
“Everybody saaaay: Monster cheese!” Blitz crows.
“Muenster cheese?” Stolas laughs as he snaps the photo. Octavia looks a bit confused, but she's not grimacing anymore. Loona is rolling her eyes, but her lips are quirked up in a small grin. Blitz is smiling wide and his eyes are bright. Stolas thinks the picture looks perfect.
“Alright!” Blitz claps. “How about we get those roasty toasty marshmallows going? What do you say?”
“That sounds wonderful,” Stolas chirps, turning to Octavia with a hopeful smile. “Do you agree, dear? Are you feeling better now?”
Octavia's gaze falls to the ground. “I’m fine, dad, just… I'm pretty tired now.” She takes a breath before looking back up at Stolas. “The aurora is really cool, but… I think I want to go home now, if that’s alright.”
“Of course!” Stolas readily agrees. He doesn't wish for the night to end yet, but above all he wants Octavia to be comfortable.
“Woah, woah! What's the rush??” Blitz cuts in. “Night’s still as young as a baby suckin’ on its mama’s tits! We can't call it quits yet!”
Loona rolls her eyes. “Just give it a rest, Blitz.”
“N-now hang on!” Blitz slides himself between Stolas and Octavia as he goes on. “You didn't think Stolas was the only dad with a plan tonight, did ya?” He lights up, flashing a smile. “Yeah… Yeah! Matter of fact, I’ve been workin’ my hot little ass off on a kick-ass daddy-daughter adventure too! And I know you —” He points at Octavia with a flourish. “Are reeeaally going to like it!”
Octavia’s eyes widen with initial surprise before narrowing. “How would you know what I like?” She raises her chin, a challenging glint in her eyes.
“Well you're just going to have to come along and find out, sassypants!” Blitz goads, undeterred.
Stolas watches the exchange unfold with bated breath. He had no idea Blitz was planning an excursion for them all as well. Stolas holds his hand over his chest, touched by Blitz’s thoughtfulness.
Octavia is silent for a long moment before she finally says, “Alright, fine. Let’s see what you've got, weirdo.”
“Fuck yeah! That's the spirit, sweetie!” Blitz cheers, lifting his arm with the crystal to create a portal. “First thing's first, just gotta make a quiiick pit stop at the office.”
Loona shrugs before walking through the portal.
Octavia looks to Stolas first. “Did you put him up to this?” she asks.
“No! Not at all! I'm just as in the dark as you are,” Stolas assures her. Then he grins and leans down to murmur to Octavia, “But that only makes this all the more thrilling, wouldn't you say? Ready to find out what's in store, Starfire?”
Octavia squints at him. But then she huffs a laugh and shakes her head. “Yeah, fine. Let's find out,” she agrees as she moves to follow Loona through the portal. Stolas steps through into the I.M.P. office lobby right after.
“Be just a sec!” Blitz calls as he discards his winter clothes and rushes into his office, followed by concerning sounds of thudding and crashing and a clown horn honk as he rummages around. Eventually Blitz reemerges holding four baseball bats.
“Uhmmm Blitzy?” Stolas watches with nervous uncertainty as Blitz hands them each a bat. He grips the handle awkwardly between his fingers, pinky sticking out. “What… will we be needing these for, exactly?” he asks in a hushed tone, leaning down closer to Blitz.
Blitz grins at him. “Just follow me and you’ll find out, nosey! Boop!” he replies, tapping Stolas’ beak with his finger.
Octavia appears to be just as confused as Stolas is and they share a worried glance. Loona looks unfazed, hefting the baseball bat over her shoulder as she leads the way through the next portal Blitz creates. Stolas laughs uneasily and walks through with Octavia.
He doesn’t have a clue what to expect… and even still, Stolas is caught off guard when he steps out to find them next to a warehouse in Lust. They're all piled under an awning that's set up over an employee entrance door, the metal cover shielding them from the patter of acid rain.
Stolas glances around and notices a security fence lining the perimeter of the building. “Do we… have permission to be here?” he asks Blitz.
“Don't worry! Daddy’s got it covered!” Blitz grins, his tongue sticking out as he waves to a security camera hanging nearby. He holds up his arm to a panel that's embedded in the wall and it scans his crystal.
The panel lights up green before the door slides open with a hiss. Since it granted them access, Stolas thinks that surely they must be allowed to be here.
As they all make their way into the warehouse, Stolas is thrown for a loop once again. It’s a large, open room with bins set up in rows, all filled with robotic Fizzarollis. The robots all appear to be switched off and in various states of disrepair.
Blitz pats the side of one of the bins. “Okay, here's the deal! This is where they dump all the busted-ass robo Fizz’s and— and uh, I don't fuckin' know, they strip ‘em for parts or something. Doesn't matter! Because weeee’re going to bash their dumb faces in!”
“Bash their faces in?” Stolas repeats with mild horror. “Doesn’t this qualify as — property damage? Or something?”
“Naaah, it’s fine! ‘Sides, this’ll be a great way for Via to work out some of those pent-up pissed-off fee fees!” Blitz assures him. “She hates this fuckin’ clown!”
Stolas shakes his head. “Oh, I'm afraid you're mistaken, Blitz. Octavia loves this little —”
“No, he’s right,” Octavia cuts in, her voice small.
Stolas’ head whips toward her, his mouth falling open in shock. “He is? But… Since when?”
“Since always, dad,” Octavia mumbles, her gaze cast at the ground.
Stolas is speechless. He thought she loved that clown and his show, but… how did Blitz know she actually hated him?
Before Stolas has a chance to ask, Blitz is hopping into a forklift that’s set up next to the bins and turning it on. He presses on the gas and immediately crashes the vehicle into a bin, knocking it over and scattering broken Fizz bot parts all over the floor.
“Yeah, ok, sure. That works,” Blitz mutters to himself as he shakes his head and jumps off the forklift. He grabs one of the robots and moves to drag it into a sitting position in front of Octavia. “Oh, this’ll be good,” Blitz cackles. “Like cracking open a pinata! Except instead of candy, it’s just… robo guts. Or something. Whatever! It’ll be a blast — go on and give it a wallop, sweetie!” He steps back and gestures for Octavia to take a swing at the Fizz bot.
Octavia looks between the baseball bat she's holding and the robot with skepticism. Stolas is about to assure her that she doesn't have to do this, when her shoulders straighten and her grip tightens on the bat. “Ok, I guess…” Octavia mutters as she steps forward and takes a stance to swing.
Stolas flits some distance behind her, anxious as he watches. He's fairly certain Octavia's never even swung a tennis racket before, much less something as hefty as a baseball bat. Was this dangerous at all? Shouldn't they be wearing safety goggles or something?
Loona looks unconcerned. She has her phone out, recording video as Octavia winds up.
Octavia stares at the robot for a long moment before taking a hard swing at it. There's a loud cracking sound as the bat connects with metal, Octavia's strike knocking the Fizz bot’s head clean off. It slams against the concrete floor with a harsh crunch.
Stolas is speechless. Blitz cheers, “WOOOO! YEAH! That's what I'm talkin’ about! Nice shot, slugger!”
Octavia's eyes are wide and she exhales a startled breath. “That felt… good.”
Blitz’s responding laugh is almost maniacal. “Yeeeah! Let's go fucking APE SHIT, gang!” He pulls out his own bat and starts pummeling the robot scraps with reckless glee.
Loona presses some buttons on her phone and music begins to play from the speakers. She turns the volume up before setting it down on a safe ledge.
Octavia gasps. “I love this song!”
“Perfect to fuck some shit up to, right?” Loona grins.
“Great idea, Loonie! Some tunes to rock n’ wreck to is exactly what this party needs!” Blitz praises.
Octavia laughs as she joins in with Loona, the pair taking swings and smashing the various robots into even more broken pieces.
Stolas is happy to see Octavia having fun, but continues to fret. “Be careful now!” he calls out to the group as he watches from a distance. Stolas doesn't quite see the appeal in all the destruction, but it warms his heart to see everyone having such a good time.
He tries to get into it by cheering them on. Clapping and calling out, “Impressive strength, Starfire!” when Octavia leaves a sizable dent in a Fizz bot’s chest and, “Such incredible ferocity, Loona-dear!” when Loona rips a bot’s arm off with her bare hands.
Eventually Blitz saunters up to Stolas’ side. “If I knew you were just gonna sit on the sidelines like this, I would’ve brought the cheerleader costume!” he teases. “Come on! Take a whack off on one!” Blitz nudges Stolas forward as he uses his tail to drag over a Fizz bot that’s dressed in a tattered fireman's uniform.
“Oh, that’s alright. I don't know if I…” Stolas trails off as he sees the bright, hopeful look in Blitz’s eyes. “W-well! I suppose there's no harm in giving it a try!” Blitz pumps a fist in victory before standing back to give Stolas space.
Stolas takes a hesitant step in front of the robot, unsure of what a proper stance would be in this situation. He grips the bat with both hands like he saw everyone else doing, but it feels awkward. “Nngh!” he grunts as he takes a ginger swing, tapping the robot just enough with the bat that it slumps over. “H-how was that?” Stolas asks as he turns to Blitz.
Blitz is biting his bottom lip as though trying to contain his laughter. Stolas feels his face heat up. “No no yeah, that was — that was a first attempt. Cute, but — but how about I give you some pointers for the next one, huh?”
“Cute?” Stolas repeats, cheeks flushing for a different reason now. As Blitz walks up behind him, Stolas tries to protest. “I don't think that's really necessar —” The words die in his throat when Blitz grabs him by the hips and firmly repositions him. “Oh, alright. Perhaps some tips will help,” Stolas agrees, his voice pitching an octave higher.
“First thing’s first, we gotta loosen you up,” Blitz murmurs, massaging Stolas' hips. Stolas is finding it difficult to focus as those hands start to trail up and down his thighs. “Go on and spread these legs for me.”
Stolas instantly complies, his stance widening.
“Gooood,” Blitz praises. “Now bend those knees a bit…” His hands travel lower, his thumbs rubbing circles at the joints where he instructed Stolas to bend. Stolas’ knees nearly buckle, but he manages to stay upright as he obeys.
“W-what next?” Stolas asks, breathless.
One of Blitz’s hands trails up to rub against the small of Stolas’ back, while the other moves to massage his thigh again. “Relax, okay? It'll be painful if you stay all tense like this,” Blitz instructs, voice low.
Stolas shivers, simultaneously feeling at ease and tense under Blitz’s ministrations. He exhales a shaky breath. “A-and am I holding the — the bat correctly?”
“Got both hands wrapped around it? Make sure you’re holding it nice — nice n’ firm, but not too tight,” Blitz replies, his voice wavering.
“Ohhh yes, it's very firm.”
“Yeah, that's it. Keep a — keep a tighter grip when you swing though. You don’t need it flying out of your hands.”
“I won't let it go,” Stolas promises. “I’ll hold on tight.”
“So tight,” Blitz agrees, one of his hands squeezing Stolas' ass.
Stolas hoots and nearly drops the bat he's supposed to be firmly gripping. “Oh! Blitzy, I —!”
The sound of a loud crash causes both of them to jolt apart. Stolas whips his head to the side to find Loona and Octavia on the other side of the room, nearly doubled over laughing about something or other. His shoulders sag with relief.
"Uh, good — great job!" Blitz praises, despite Stolas not having taken another swing yet. "But uh, I'm gonna — go over there now. For no special reason." They stare at each other for a beat before Blitz finishes with, "'Kay byyye!"
He scurries off, knocking past scattered robot parts in his wake. As he stomps toward the girls, he calls out, "How's it goin', kiddos? What's so funny? You need anything? Some water?"
Stolas exhales a deep breath and sets the baseball bat aside. That was certainly a close call; they nearly got carried away, and the last thing Stolas wants is to upset Octavia with his behavior once more.
His gaze shifts over to Octavia. Her bright smile makes Stolas grin too. She appears to be having such fun now — more than Stolas expected. Once again, Blitz's creativity knows no bounds. He really saved the night. Stolas' heart is filled with an overwhelming fondness as he watches the three continue to wreak havoc upon the machinery.
Stolas is pulled out of his reverie by the sound of a tinny voice chortling, "Uh — uh oh!"
"The fuck?" Blitz murmurs. All their heads turn and they watch in confusion as a pile of robots next to Octavia begins to tremble, broken bodies and limbs tumbling to the side as one of the robotic Fizzarollis emerges from beneath them.
It's dressed in a uniform similar to what Stolas' imp servants wear. Half of its face looks melted off and there's various gashes along its body that are spewing electrical sparks. Its eyes are hollow, only two pins of red light shining from each socket.
Sparks fly from one of its shoulders as it hoists itself up. "Looks like someone needs — needs a time out!" it stutters cheerfully.
But then its voice drops into a deep growl as it says, "And a good spanking."
Its jaw opens wider than what looks natural, revealing too many rows of sharp teeth. "This will hurt me more than it — hurts you —!" it cackles. Octavia's posture is rigid, frozen in fear as the robot lunges at her, teeth and pointed claws at the ready.
Stolas' heart drops. He can feel the dark energy coursing through him as he's half transformed in an instant, about to swoop in and tear this stupid creature limb from limb for daring to target his precious daughter — but somehow, Blitz reacts faster.
His gun is drawn as he steps between Octavia and the Fizz bot. The robot’s laughter spits sparks as its claws sink into Blitz’s shoulder. At the same moment, Blitz fires a shot right between its eyes, causing its head to rear back.
“Fuck OFF!” Blitz yells as he kicks the Fizz bot away, wrenching its claws out of his shoulder in the process. The robotic laughter slowly fades as the machine sputters out and loses power, the lights of its eyes dimming until they’re completely snuffed out. Blitz clutches his injured arm as he turns to Octavia. “How you doin’ — You alright, sweetie?”
“You… saved me…” she breathes out in awe, sinking to her knees as her legs seem to give out.
Before either of them can say more, Stolas is launching himself at Octavia, joining her on the ground as he wraps his arms tightly around her. “Oh Via! My darling, sweet girl!” he cries, pulling back just enough to check her over for injuries, pushing her hair out of her face so he can check for any scrapes or bruises. “You’re not hurt are you? None of the debris hit you? Or —”
“Daaaaad,” Via huffs, her face heating. “I'm fine…” Despite her protesting, she looks pleased by his attention.
“As long as you're sure,” Stolas sighs in relief.
Loona edges closer to the group. “You good, dad?” she asks Blitz.
Blitz’s eyes immediately start to sparkle as he gives Loona an adoring look. “Aww Loonie! Were you worried about —”
“Nope,” Loona replies before he can finish, turning on her heel and moving to go retrieve her phone.
Once Stolas is satisfied Octavia is truly alright, he turns to Blitz. “Thank you for —” He stops short when he sees the blood trickling down Blitz’s arm. “Oh Blitz! You're hurt!”
“What, this? Psh! Just a scratch!” Blitz waves him off, wincing when he moves his injured arm.
Stolas hurries to Blitz's side. He sinks to his knees so he can take a hold of Blitz’s arm. “Oh darling, oh no! You're bleeding! Is it painful? Let me see —” Stolas frets, gently prying Blitz’s hand off the wound so he can assess the damage. It's difficult to tell how deep the cuts are, but enough blood is streaming out of the holes in Blitz’s shirt to concern Stolas.
“Seriously Stols, this is — this ain't a big deal!” Blitz continues to protest.
Stolas ignores him. “That nasty thing didn't harm you anywhere else did it?” he asks, hands traveling over the rest of Blitz’s body and face, searching for more injuries.
“N-no,” Blitz answers, voice quiet before he goes on louder. “Nah! It'll take more than some cheap knock-off jester to really fuck me up, believe you me!”
“Well, here. It's not much, but — ” Stolas unwinds the scarf from around his neck and uses it to tie a makeshift bandage around Blitz's arm. “This should help stop the bleeding until we can get you proper first aid.” He caresses Blitz cheek, tender and soothing. “Better?”
Blitz’s eyes appear glassy as he gazes up at Stolas, a look of wonder on his face. “Yeah…” he whispers before blinking a few times and snapping out of his daze. “Yeah, yep, yes-siree! Feels like a million hellbucks already! Th-thanks, babe!”
“I ought to be the one thanking you, dearest,” Stolas points out as he pulls himself to his feet, dusting off his pants.
“Yeah…” Octavia murmurs. She's on her feet now too, eyes cast at the ground. “Thanks... for protecting me.”
Stolas clasps his hands over his heart. “Yes, thank you Blitz,” he expresses again. “You were so very brave.”
“Weeell it ain't my first rodeo with one of those slutty toy clowns!” Blitz laughs. He smiles at Octavia. “Just glad you're okay, sweetheart.”
Loona returns to the group, tapping away on her phone. “Can we get the fuck out of here now? Breaking shit was fun and all, but I’m beat.”
“Yes, please!” Octavia agrees. “I'd rather not risk bringing another creepy clown back to life.”
“Yeeeah, let's — let's not do that again,” Blitz chuckles. He uses his crystal to create a portal back to his apartment.
As Loona makes her way towards it, Octavia speaks up. “Um, I had fun, Loona.”
Loona stops and turns toward her. “Yeah. Yeah, me too,” she agrees.
“Thanks for… well, everything.” Octavia huffs a little laugh. “Maybe I'll chat with you on Sinstagram? Or — or whatever…” She shrugs and tries to look indifferent.
“Definitely. Talk to you later, Via.” Loona grins.
Octavia's eyes grow bright and she smiles back. “Later, Loona.”
It's infectious and Stolas smiles too as he creates a portal back to the palace. “Go on ahead, Starfire. I’ll follow along soon,” he instructs. “I'd just like to have a word with Blitz first.” Stolas turns to Blitz. “If that’s alright?”
“Who, me? Oh uh, yeah. Yeah, sure,” Blitz agrees.
Octavia nods. “Alright. See you soon, dad.” She steps through the portal and Stolas closes it behind her.
Loona rolls her eyes. “Have fun sucking face or whatever. I'm not waiting up,” she says bluntly as she exits through Blitz’s portal.
“Loonie! You're not supposed to just call out your father like that, all right?” Blitz scolds, but Loona’s already disappeared, the portal closed.
With the girls gone, Stolas is about to get right to it, but stops short as he takes stock of all the carnage around them. “Um. Will it be alright to leave them all like this?” he asks, gesturing to the scattered robots and parts littering the floor.
“Oh sure! I mean, probably? It’s probably fine, yeah,” Blitz nods. “But let's skedaddle, huh? Talk outside or something. Havin’ these things stare at us is giving me the fuckin’ creeps.”
Stolas can't help but agree and follows Blitz outside. Fortunately the rain has stopped. Blitz guides them to the dark side of the building that faces away from the street. It's quiet here, the commotion of the city only a distant murmur.
Once they come to a stop, Stolas wastes no time sinking to his knees in front of Blitz, unconcerned with the muck getting on his pants as he pulls the imp into a tender embrace.
"Thank you," Stolas exhales in a shuddering breath. Conveying the depth of his gratitude in mere words feels insufficient, but he wants to keep trying anyway. "Truly, I can't say it enough. It means so much… that you were looking out for Octavia. That you kept her safe."
"Aw well, y'know. Any — any excuse to shoot something," Blitz replies, wrapping his arms around Stolas and returning the hug. Stolas notices the way Blitz's tail sways back and forth and thinks he must be happy with the praise, despite trying to modestly play off his accomplishment.
Stolas pulls back just enough to look Blitz in the eyes, reaching up a hand to cup his face. "Not only that. But you went to the extra effort to try and make Octavia happy by setting this whole thing up."
Blitz's gaze drops and he shrugs. "What angry teen doesn't love to break shit? It's no big deal," he insists, face growing warm under Stolas' hand.
But it is a big deal to Stolas. No one's ever been on his side quite like this before. No one's ever wanted to be. Stolas feels like something is caught in his throat. Emotions he can't voice quite yet.
He knows now more than ever that he needs to tell Blitz the truth about their relationship… but not right here. He needs time to prepare. To get his thoughts and words in order. "Would you perhaps… be free for a date next weekend, Blitz?"
Blitz is holding Stolas' gaze again, looking almost lost in his eyes. He's quiet for so long that Stolas wonders if Blitz somehow hadn't heard the question. "Y-yeah…" Blitz clears his throat. "Next weekend's cool. Good. I only really had plans to jerk off, so I'm sure I can squeeze you in."
Stolas breathes out an airy, fragile sounding laugh. "Wonderful," he replies in a tender whisper. He's still too choked up to muster his usual giddiness.
Setting the date feels bittersweet because there's a possibility... A possibility that it's the beginning of the end, once Blitz learns the truth.
But there's also the chance that it could be the beginning of something real. And that tiny thread of hope is what Stolas is desperately clinging to.
He leans in to press his beak to Blitz's lips in a soft, sweet kiss. Blitz melts against him, bringing up a hand to cradle Stolas' cheek as he kisses back. Their mouths move together with a tender passion instead of their usual uncontrollable lust, but it doesn't feel strange.
In fact it feels natural to be kissing Blitz like this. To be expressing his adoration for him with no other expectations.
They cling to each other as though afraid some powerful force might suddenly rip them apart. Blitz's tail wraps around Stolas' waist and it feels like an anchor.
Although Stolas is certain he could keep kissing Blitz like this forever and want for nothing else, eventually he pulls back from his lips. "I ah, suppose we both ought to be getting back…" he murmurs, reluctance heavy in his tone.
"Yeah, yeah, 'course," Blitz replies, sounding dazed. But despite his agreement, he immediately leans back in to kiss Stolas again.
And just like that, Stolas is suddenly on the brink of tears. This Blitz — the one without all his memories — seems to want Stolas. Truly want him. In a way Stolas has never felt desired before. And he may very well destroy those feelings once he reveals the truth.
Stolas loses himself in the kiss. He focuses only on memorizing the way Blitz feels against him. The searing heat of his skin, the comforting grip of his tail around Stolas' waist, the eager press of his lips, the sweet curl of his forked tongue; Stolas savors all of it. So, if he does indeed lose this… If he has to spend the rest of his eternity lost in longing… then at least he will have this memory as a comfort.
It will never truly be enough, but once Stolas feels satisfied he can keep the memory close to his heart, he pulls back again. This time when Blitz follows, Stolas turns his head so that Blitz kisses his cheek.
This seems to snap Blitz out of his trance and he quickly rears his head back. "Alright, alright, that's enough spicy canoodling, you dirty bird!" Blitz huffs a half-hearted laugh, no heat behind the admonishment. He unwinds his tail from Stolas and takes a step back. "I gotta work in the morning — can't just spend all damn night glued to your sexy bird mouth, you know!"
Stolas stands up, filled with overwhelming fondness as he gazes down at Blitz's flushed face. "Of course, my darling."
"Yeah, yep, gotta be in tip-top fucking shape to kill all those human shitstains," Blitz goes on like he hadn't heard Stolas.
Stolas reaches out to caress Blitz's cheek one more time. "Good night, Blitzy," he bids, using his free hand to open a portal. "Take care and rest well." Stolas grazes his fingers just over where the scarf is tied on Blitz’s arm before stepping back.
"Yeah… Uh, yeah, you too," Blitz stutters out, eyes glued to Stolas as though he's mesmerized, even as he rubs his crystal to pop open his own portal. "Night, Stols."
As Blitz walks through his portal, Stolas steels himself and steps through his own. But before closing it, he can't resist glancing back to look at Blitz one more time.
He finds Blitz standing in his own open portal, doing the exact same. Stolas huffs a laugh and smiles, his heart filled with a wistful adoration and sadness at the same time.
Blitz grins at him and Stolas feels his heart flutter wildly. "I — I'll call you later!" Stolas promises, rushing to close his portal, certain he really will shed tears this time if he lingers any longer.
Once alone, Stolas exhales a long breath, his shoulders sagging. The emotional whirlwind of the night has him ready to simply collapse in bed, but as he turns he spots Octavia sitting on the chaise lounge in his room. Her posture is stiff, hands clenched together in her lap.
"Octavia!" Stolas hoots in surprise. "Is everything alright, my owlet?" He hurries to sit next to her, concerned by the pinched expression on her face.
"He's… different now," Octavia mumbles, staring down at her hands.
"He…?" Stolas repeats, blinking at her in confusion.
“At Loo Loo Land — to you —” Octavia throws her hands up as she barrels on, "Ugh! He was such an asshole before! And yeah, he's still a weird dickhead, but now he's also… kind of… nice?" She grinds out the last words like it's painful to say.
Stolas can only gape at her in stunned silence.
"I mean — Not that I like him or anything!" Octavia hurries to clarify, finally looking up at Stolas. "But… I don't know. Ugh. It's all so confusing!" She puffs out an exasperated breath, sinking down the cushion and staring at the ceiling.
Stolas wants to offer words of comfort, but he finds himself at a loss of what to say. He realizes that before this moment, he'd never truly considered how Octavia felt about Blitz.
Before he can say anything, she goes on in a small, fragile tone. "I was so angry when he showed up tonight… Like, do you really need someone else around just to spend time with me? Am I… not enough?"
"NO!" Stolas shouts in a panic, horrified that Octavia would ever think this. "No, of course not! I love spending time with you, my Starfire. It's always been one of the great joys in my life." He takes her hands and looks her in the eyes, hoping she can see how wholeheartedly he means it. "I had only thought… An outing like this, with another family… it sounded quite nice."
Octavia is quiet for a moment before she replies. "Yeah…” She sounds like she's choosing her words carefully as she goes on. "It almost felt like... we were one family."
Stolas feels like all the air has been punched out of his lungs. To hear her actually voice the very thing he hopes for... It somehow makes him feel like this dream is not impossible.
Octavia goes on, seemingly unaware of the effect her words are having on Stolas. "Hanging out with Loona was really fun. Like, if I ever had a sister..." She shakes her head and huffs a little laugh to herself. "Well, she's really cool."
"As are you, Via," Stolas assures her almost automatically.
"Like you know what cool is," Octavia scoffs, her tone teasing.
Stolas pouts. "I know enough to recognize that you are," he insists. "That's part of why you and Loona get on so well, after all."
"Dad, stooop," Octavia whines, but she's smiling, a light flush on her cheeks.
"Never," Stolas insists, beaming at her.
She huffs an exasperated laugh. There's a moment of comfortable silence between them before Octavia speaks up again. "And I guess… your boyfriend isn't the worst. Even if he is pretty annoying."
Stolas nearly gapes again. Octavia already recognizes Blitz as his boyfriend? And approves? Stolas feels as though his heart is going to burst with affection. "I'll plan another outing," he declares suddenly. "This time, it will be just the two of us."
Octavia's gaze snaps to him, her eyes wide. "Really?"
"I promise." Stolas nods emphatically. Octavia smiles and he can't help but pull her in for a hug.
Octavia approving of Blitz, even marginally, has Stolas feeling like he's on cloud nine. A fire of determination blazes through his veins.
He has to get his confession perfect this time.
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