Work Text:
Those words;
“I get it now”.
Those despair-filled words;
“His entire plan. It all leads to the worst case scenario”.
That theory;
“Dostoyevsky’s ability…”.
That goddamn theory;
“… is to subsume the person that killed him”.
Still lingering in the air left — already far — behind the couple once they ran inside Mersault Prison again, for they are too hard to process.
Dazai said it himself, this is the lowest the pit is able to get, so they’re all hoping it isn’t true; but when has he ever wronged in his methods? Backup plans and such are always in Osamu’s sleeves, but consistently based on correct assumptions, forecasts and reasoning. Unfortunately, this is not the time he’ll find himself wrong. Which means he must warn the others NOW about everything.
They try contacting Ranpo and no response is received. Fuck. This is bad. Chaos has probably already been installed completely, is what this fact gives him. Fyodor must have the rest of his plan going on at this exact moment and neither Dazai or Chuuya have a clue on what that could possibly be. How much of a disaster things must already be? Will they be able to handle it? Has anyone died already?
Fuck.
Dazai is completely panicked, lost; his plan went wrong and now there’s nothing he can do. He’s in fucking France and people need him in Yokohama. And they need him now, not after a fourteen-hour flight. What can he do now? Fuck! How come Osamu Dazai hasn’t got any plan? Not even a single one? He’s out of control. He’s complet-
A slap.
Chuuya hit his face with the back of his hand, real hard, and got Dazai to freeze with his eyes wide open, empty, and blood dripping from the corner of his mouth.
“Get yourself together, wimp. That’s not the shitty Dazai I know”. His voice is low, dead serious and, most importantly, right. Even in his worst battles, Osamu never panicked, and now is not the time to be the first — the world is at stakes.
A smirk tugs in his lips after licking the blood and, just as a machine having an instantaneous reboot, his gaze locks provocatively on Chuuya’s. In an instant, he managed a plan.
“How fast can you make us fly?”, he asks and Chuuya sounds a bit hesitant when answering “depends on the propulsion I get… but quite fast…”; that’s enough for Dazai to signal a come on before running off again.
Chuuya follows and tries yelling “OY! WE ARE NOT FLYING TO JAPAN THIS WAY YOU BASTARD! I NEVER TOOK YOU TO BE AS STUPID AS THIS!” but no cursing nor explanation is returned. Weird enough, but given the pressure his partner is facing, a bit of oddity in him is only fair.
Alas, Nikolai reaches their sights once they leave the building again, sat on top of a rock and admiring the flock of birds passing over them while still holding on to Fyodor’s arm. Dazai calls for him and, once the three are assembled, his plan is explained.
“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND, DAZAI?”
“HAH! — Nikolai chuckles — I loved this! Yes! Yes! This’ll be so so fun!!!” and then lets childish giggles out.
“The fucking clown is on board, that’s the biggest red flag you could get!”
“Chuuya-“
“NO WAY, SHITTY DAZAI! NO FUCKING GODDAMN WAY!”
“-when have my tactics ever been wrong?”
Chuuya snorts and ponders for a second. Those words have got meaning. He’s always trusted Dazai’s strategic thinking and… well… what other option does he have now?
“Fine. But won’t happen again”.
“Gogol, how far apart can you place your portals?”
“Thirty meters from me.”
“Perfect!”, he smiles with a dark lust permeating his aura. “Can you get us in a room with a computer? I need to trace our route.”
“Hmmm maybe I can! Maybe I can’t! Should I be able to remember this information? OH! I DO! — And his voice becomes low and twistedly dark when voicing the invitation — this way, gentlemen”, then the yellow rotating light appears in front of them, showing a room on the other side of it.
Once they cross the passage, Dazai heads for the first computer he notices to be on and promptly gathers all the information needed. With Chuuya’s help, they manage to account for every factor capable of influencing their course and bodies and, in relatively few time, the theory is all set. Only the worst part is left: make it work perfectly, for they’ll only have one shot.
While their trip was being planned, Nikolai wandered around and gathered as many plastic bags he could find: if this plan is to be successful, Dazai must have all his visible and easily accessible skin covered as to don’t nullify any ability by mistake. So, having this step secured, the trio returns to the outdoors, look around a hundred times, check and recheck the aim and the calculations another thousand, and all let a nervous sigh at same time. Oh, I’m sorry. Dazai and Chuuya do; Nikolai is as excited as he can be.
“Please, my cannonballs, place yourselves under the portal”, already summoned 30 meters above their heads; and the duo obeys… until their eyes meet sharing the discomforting question: how should they position themselves? With no word exchange, their shared brain cell does the job of getting, after some flustered ideas attempting, Dazai kind of hugging Chuuya from behind; one holding tight to the forearm of the other and the mafioso’s hat separating him from Osamu’s face. They’re ready.
“I swear I’ll come after you if we end up in the wrong place, fucking ass clown”, Chuuya barks. He is really apprehensive about it all. He trusts Dazai’s plan to work in theory, but there is nothing guaranteeing him it’ll actually work.
“I’ll leave a note to my future self beware! Watch your step, now!”, and, with a smirk, Nikolai opens a second portal beneath the duo connecting to the other up high, really carefully so Dazai is avoided and don’t ruin everything.
They’re free falling now and Chuuya, with his eyes shut so the view won’t make him nauseous, increases their density as much as he can and accelerate their movement in doing so. Dazai clearly holds tighter by the second, for he is clearly uncomfortable in his skin, apprehensive, and isn’t able to see shit; his trust in his long term partner is all that’s left for him to embrace.
After some seconds, that the peak velocity is reached and the signal is yelled: Nikolai’s countdown. They’re getting launched. Although he is nervous, Chuuya must focus like he never had before because as soon as Nikolai voices “ZERO!” he must immediately nullify his gravity while maintaining their bodies as dense as possible so they face minimum air resistance once the higher portal is crossed for the last time, now aiming at Yokohama.
