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The Flame of Corruption. The Devil. The Guilty Gear himself.
It was wise to be wary when any of those names came up in conversation, and for damn good reason if you asked the person who had them. He was born from each of these names that made up his reputation and the various rumors that were mostly true.
A God of War that defied his own nature and fought alongside humanity in the Crusades against Justice and her uprising.
That was true.
The Holy Order were rather lucky that he was rudely recruited and placed into a battalion with that annoying kid named Ky Kiske who had a sharp sword and blue striking eyes. He remembered seeing him for the first time, thinking nothing of the blasted person who was meant to be his leader.
However, he was proven wrong.
Ky was a dangerous person that always held back for some reason, despite the goody two shoes personality he had going for him. He was known for often prattling about the notion of justice while unable to uphold it himself half of the time.
The God of War had unfortunately known Ky for longer than he would have liked, his proclaimed rival ever since he stole the Fireseal from the Order and deserted his place without any hesitation.
It was the start of everything.
A feared bounty hunter with a crude mouth and a personality that only deterred people away with one glance.
This was also true.
It never bothered him that he was alone in life. That was how he liked it and he tried hard to keep it that way with his said crude mouth and wonderful personality. It was the only way that people would understand his simple wishes, encouraging them to never interact with him again if they didn’t want to get physically or mentally degraded.
Unfortunately, it sure did bother everyone else he knew in some capacity.
They all insisted on worming their way towards his side like some damned leeches, sucking away all his life force. We had Ky himself, the Grilled Chicken of a Gear, Elphelt and Ramlethel Valentine…he could never truly understand what they saw in such a monster, but who was he to stop them?
Swatting them away wouldn’t do shit against them either, no matter what he tried.
The feared bounty hunter even took care of Ky’s son, Sin, out of the sheer goodness of his heart despite the fact he isn’t good with people. Let alone a tiny child of his rival’s that required an actual father to teach him how to survive and his times tables.
The kid had some funny ideas about everything but he wasn’t terrible to be around in the end. Heck, Sin even used a flag pole as a weapon because he told him to go wave a flag or something as a joke.
He wanted one like Ky’s for some damn reason and he couldn’t listen to Sin’s constant whining about not having one. The simple half-hearted joke led to him having such an absurd weapon and a part of the bounty hunter regretted saying it. It was dumb to swing around a flag so proudly while beating someone up.
At least, the kid was happy.
Although, he would drop dead before saying any of this sappy shit to Ky’s face or his woman’s when they asked about how their son was faring. It was his personal policy to never disclose any of his feelings for many damn reasons, and he planned on keeping it that way until the very end of time.
That wasn’t the worst part about all these people. It was impressive how no one he knew could take a hint about anything.
Not a single, goddamn hint he threw their way.
They asked him for help whenever shit hit the fan in their lives and then he had to deal with it, regardless if he even wanted to help in the first place. It always had something to do with the Gears uprising or Illyria Castle being attacked by said Gears or enemies. The castle was one of the major hotspots for such attacks thanks to everyone powerful being there and hosting the lightning rod for St Elmo’s Fire.
Why should he care about it?!
A Gear who saved the world multiple times from said shit without breaking a sweat.
Stopping Justice, killing Justice, stopping Valentine and the Cube, hijacking the revival of Justice…the wonderful list kept growing and growing. The amount of shit that he managed to deal with throughout the years was insane. It was unfortunately without the man he wanted to pummel to the very ground, and it was pissing him off.
Who?
The Gear Maker. That Man. However the hell you wanted to call him. Everyone knew who he was without a single question, that bastard. He knew him by a completely different name that was lost to time, a very bygone time that they both belonged to. It would seem that only he remembered such things, as expected after a hundred years or so passed without any mention of it.
Asuka R. Kreutz.
An old friend of his who was in the center of all these events in one way or another, either by extension or on purpose rather annoyingly. There were many things he could say about Asuka, yet he couldn’t think of not one good thing that didn’t involve some kind of reference to killing or his terrible crimes.
All he truly wanted was to smash Asuka with his bare hands, to rip off that hood he kept his face hidden with and lose himself to his innate instincts that longed for bloodshed. It was what he dreamed about doing to the man, the mere thought of such carnage simply kept him going alongside that deep rage that burned bright inside of him.
Why?
It was his role after all, and one he played all goddamn well from the very beginning. How did he receive such a role?
It was simple.
Throwing away his humanity when he was turned into a monster by Asuka, he swore to destroy all Gears and his wonderful old pal from another life. It was all in the name of revenge, stemming from the fact that he demanded answers, the damn reasoning behind starting all this shit on the world.
That bastard deserved everything that was coming to him, and more.
Just you fucking wait, Asuka.
The things he was going to do to him were unspeakable and very graphic. He was going to wish that he never messed with him or with the world by the time he was done with his sorry face, utterly disfigured and left in a hospital somewhere. Better yet, he would personally dig the grave for Asuka and throw his corpse right in there.
Some would call him a monster for thinking such thoughts, and they wouldn’t be wrong. A Gear would always be considered as a beast by humanity, unable to blame themselves yet finding that they saw the beauty in such lives and couldn’t lie to themselves about it. That was the undeniable truth in the cruel world he lived in.
It was messed up.
His Dragon Install said it all, its power slowly corrupting him with every use. It was why he rarely used it nowadays unless absolutely necessary, but he still could feel the power simmering deep inside his core, waiting and ready. It ached for release, but it was restrained back to save himself from losing the last of what could be considered human to the others.
Sol Badguy would rather lie to them than show who he really was.
The point was, he had many names throughout the ages. It was funny how none of them were even close to his real name, left behind when he became who he was. It wasn’t that it was lost completely either, thanks to a few certain people who insisted on his actual first name when referring to him.
Were they deaf?
Dr Paradigm was quick to call him that name upon learning who he was when they met, and he didn’t know how to tell the Gear to stop when he also had a shitty attitude too. Asuka never seemed to understand that he didn’t want to hear that name coming from his betraying mouth, but he kept using it anyway.
Sol couldn’t do anything to stop them from mentioning it to those who didn’t need to know.
It got to the point that he was waiting for Ky to ask. He would want to meddle as he always did in his affairs like some upstanding knight, wanting to know about his past. It was always on the back of his mind when they were alone, but it seemed that his rival was either delaying the inevitable or was afraid of asking.
There was nothing interesting about it, but he would answer.
Sol decided to take things into his hands and ask in his usual way when he had the chance, deciding to rip off the bandaid nice and quick. The answer he received wasn’t what he could have ever expected from his rival. He found that Ky cared more for Sol’s future, hoping that he could protect him as a friend.
Not Frederick. Not his past. That was a new one.
What?
His actual name was Frederick, if it wasn’t obvious enough.
Frederick Bulsara was a scientist who used to work alongside Asuka inside some secret labs that held a lot of projects that the government at the time were creating.
Crazy, wasn’t it?
Imagine working alongside the person you wanted to beat up once upon a time. It left him wondering if it was somehow his fault that the bastard decided on this path. Back then, his old friend didn't do all the bad shit that he did. He was someone who had some big plans in store for the world, and that was impressive.
He didn’t have that much ambition.
All Frederick had was a beloved girlfriend that he loved more than the whole universe and a pretty good deposition of being alone in every way. It was how he kept his world small to her and Asuka, ultimately classified as an asshole by those around him. It was just the way he was, and they had to deal with it.
Her name was Aria Hale. His world.
She had the brightest smile and the softest hands, being the total opposite of him. It was impressive how they even became friends, let alone lovers. It was a welcome change to his lonely lifestyle, bringing in some much needed optimism and comfort. He couldn’t imagine how he could live without her since her interjection.
Aria was the best.
Frederick vowed from the minute he met Aria that he sure as hell wouldn’t let anyone take her away from him, whether they liked it or not. Not without a damn fight, even if it managed to cost him his own life in the process. She was everything, a whole experience that could never be replicated and he would challenge anyone who dared try.
His world was one where she existed, and it was as simple as that.
Frederick loved her. He loved her more than she ever knew. The two were meant to move through life together hand in hand, sharing memories and creating new ones. He was meant to see her smile, cry and hold a child born from their love together. He was meant to be with her until the end of time, as he wanted to promise her.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t do anything for her in the end.
Frederick couldn’t do anything to save her from the disease that would take her own life, and it was more unfair that he didn’t know until it was too late. Shouldn’t h e have known before Asuka fucking did?!
It was a TP infection that she purposely hid from him for his sake until she couldn’t. It would kill her before a cure could be found, knowing that he would drop everything to try to make something impossible into reality. It wasn’t fair that she had to suffer in silence, all alone while he was perfectly healthy!
Nothing at all.
Frederick was also a victim of That Man, who made Sol Badguy by shooting him in the goddamn neck rather heartlessly.
The “seed” took root within him, transforming him into a monster that could regenerate and destroy whatever he touched with his bare hands. It was what saved him when his wonderful old friend let him fall from high above, after telling him he was about to die. Big surprise, he didn’t die from that fall and he was still here.
Fuck Asuka, by the way.
That kickstarted his only goal in his long life, starting his role. He had to suppress his new nature with the headband he created that concealed the marks of a Gear on him. Were you aware that red eyes meant that you were one of those monstrous Gears humanity hated ruthlessly?
Being a former scientist and having centuries of free time to tinker with various magical apparatus did have its perks, allowing for the creation of many kinds of contraptions that have aided him and the others time and time again. Most thought that he wasn’t that smart by the way he acted, but it was the total opposite.
They were the stupid ones.
It wasn’t fair that Frederick had to be turned into such a monster, to fight Gears, to solve everything because of a singular person and their whims. You don’t usually shoot your supposed friend in the neck and then abandon them for a bunch of years expecting for a welcome return and warm hugs.
Asuka better watch out.
Years passed, and yet he could never catch a moment with That Man alone to pummel him. It was as if the world was against him and his simple wishes, never giving him a break with all the shit that kept threatening humanity. Sol told himself that he would wait for as long as it was needed, no matter what the circumstances may be.
A hundred years was nothing to him.
It also wasn’t fair that Sol was about to meet the person he hated with a passion, with the Universal Will trying to revive Justice with Elphelt and all. It wasn’t how he expected to see Asuka again after the shit with Valentine, and a part of him couldn’t handle that little fact and would try to attack his old friend if he wasn’t careful.
Despite being the one who asked for this meeting with him, he didn’t have to like the fact that he needed Asuka’s help to save the world. Sol was unfortunately stuck in a room in the wonderful Illyria Castle with Dr Paradigm, Ky and Leo while waiting for That Man to appear after getting into contact through some miracle.
The Grilled Chicken started talking to him, asking him if he was okay with all this and telling him to stay put until their talk was done. It was out of some form of compassion from the older Gear that he didn’t ask for, nor did he want at all.
He would be amicable enough for Elphelt’s sake. He made a promise to her as she was taken, and he sure as hell wouldn’t break it, even if it meant he would work beside him again.
If only his old friend would hurry up.
Asuka and one of his servants appeared soon enough, preaching how he was protecting humanity this whole time from behind the scenes. He also decided to graciously tell them that the Universal Will was actually some kind of freaky ass robot. It had had the objective of bringing true happiness to humanity but then lost its absolute shit and became human so it could understand human minds.
Oh, and the Universal Will was the Sanctus Maximus Populi herself, Ariels.
Wasn’t it just great that their enemy was someone who had tremendous power in every way in this country and with having both Justice and Elphelt? Leo was losing his shit since he refused to believe it, and the conversation was going wonderfully.
This meeting might have been a bad idea.
Speaking of his servants, Sol had many opinions about them.
We had Jack-O Valentine, a Valentine that was created for a reason he didn’t fully believe, despite what he could see and hear from behind that pumpkin mask. Red eyes painted by two toned hair that fell behind that familiar face he remembered fondly, Sol’s gaze often fell on her without his consent since she came with Asuka.
It wasn’t her.
Then we had Raven, the Undying Disease. That Man’s right hand man who always was in the way for Asuka’s sake and the plans he had in motion. The two would always fight and he would drop some wisdom and terrible advice that no one wanted. It was a blessing that he wasn’t there in the room with them.
I-No was also one of Asuka’s servants, but she was nowhere to be seen in general. It seemed that she went flipping AWOL after their encounter, sprouting nonsense about wanting his “seed” and then fighting him without any warning. Sol knew that she was crazy, but he’d never seen her actually act like she was.
Good riddance, if anything.
He didn’t really care about where she was, that woman was only trouble walking with a loud ass guitar. She would only call him a shithead as always, and he would call her a bitch right back. It was how they communicated with one another and they didn’t need such vulgar language in an important conversation like this one.
Oh.
The conversation was about to go to shit thanks to Leo who was looking like he was raring to punch Asuka for his simple questions and answers. Was it that hard to accept that Ariels was the Universal Will?
Great.
Sol might have felt the same sentiments around punching him, but they couldn’t afford a fight when there were more important people to save and the world itself. It seemed that he had to interject.
More shit to deal with.
He stopped Leo from walking straight up to Asuka, telling him to shut up since the talk wasn’t done. The Second King was always a firecracker, worse than a kid since he had no tact in that brain of his and didn’t think things through.
All the attention was on Sol now, and he was forced to communicate with Asuka rather begrudgingly. It was their first conversation in years that wouldn’t end abruptly thanks to his old friend’s sudden departure in the middle of their talks.
Tch.
More importantly, Sol couldn’t handle hearing the bullshit flying from that hidden mouth, acting like he was some kind of saint to humanity. How could anyone believe those lies spewing behind that hooded being?!
He wasn’t doing jack shit if you asked him! Nothing for this world he apparently cared for despite creating the Gears and ruining his life!
The Conclave was trying to do the same thing before, and look at what they tried to do to the world they also apparently cared for as well! They attempted to revive Justice using St Elmo’s Fire and using Ramlethal as some kind of pawn to do it in the process.
To make things worse, she died while trying to save a kid like a hero. Ramlethal was fucking dead and for what reason did she have to die for?! For this bastard and his whims about everything?!
You really couldn’t make this shit up even if you tried, but it all happened and you expect him to stay calm?! It might make him a huge hypocrite, but he had the right mind to punch Asuka as well!
Sol couldn’t handle it any longer. The object of his hatred was right there in front of him, and only he could answer for everything.
His hands moved to grab his old friend on instinct, glaring at him with such intensity that it could melt stone into some disgusting puddle. No wonder he had those names and such words surrounding him at every turn, they were all true at the end!
At that moment, he truly was the Flame of Corruption that they all feared, ready to burn.
No dared to make a noise as Sol asked his dying questions, slowly losing his composure with every word that slipped from either of their mouths. No one would understand them and all would hear about his past, but he didn’t care any longer!
Why did he make Aria and himself into Gears?! Why the hell did he put all of humanity through such pain?!
Huh?!
There had better be a good reason for it all, or there was no guarantee That Man would live to see another day to “help” them. Such a scrawny being could never beat him in such close quarters, no matter how much magic he could conjure up in retaliation. Elphelt could be saved without this bastard!
The answer he received wasn’t what he wanted. The two words that fell from That Man’s mouth made Sol falter, his mind working overtime to deny them. There was no damn way that it could be true!
For Aria? Bullshit.
The words that next came from Jack-O made him break at how simply they were uttered, as if it was a matter of fact that everyone knew. It was like she expected him to simply accept them without question, as if he could from the person that looked and sounded like her.
It was too good to be true.
You’re telling him that this Valentine in particular was holding half of Aria’s soul within her? That fusing with Justice’s corpse would bring his beloved girlfriend back as a bonafide human? Like something from a fairy tale that he used to read?
Please. Such fucking bullshit.
Sol refused to believe them. It was as simple as that, although his logical side was already processing the words as the truth. Why would they both lie about such important matters?
It…couldn’t be true.
Asuka couldn’t have been living and waiting for this moment for him! For her! It couldn’t be true, it couldn’t be true in any universe! It couldn’t be! It didn’t make any sense!
No!
Sol didn’t know what either of them expected when he dropped the hooded figure with a borderline broken expression, his mind finally giving up its fervent denial of the facts in front of him that were becoming more true by the second.
His eyes drifted to Jack-O’s, looking for any sign that it was all a sick joke, perhaps this was one of those pranks Aria used to play on him all the time that he secretly loved but never told anyone.
Unfortunately, there was none.
It couldn’t be. It couldn’t be her standing in front of him, albeit a bit fragmented in memory. Was it truly half of Aria in front of him, calling out his name with the same credence?
No.
Sol Badguy knew better. This was all bullshit.
All bullshit, bullshit, bullshit! Truly utterly fucking bullshit on all levels of the concept! There was no other word for the situation in front of him, besides bullshit, bullshit and of course, bullshit!
It had to be!
Why was it all for Aria ? Why was it all for Frederick ? Why was it all for the both of them? Did they ask for this shit to happen to them?!
The worst part of all this was that…he killed her. Why was Sol the one who killed Aria?!
Over and over, his hands bloody with her—he murdered Aria without even knowing! His weapon made a deep hole straight through her multiple times, he talked to her with such hatred…Sol thought he was hallucinating the mere thought that Justice was her.
It was better to think that he was imagining the connection than accept the possibility.
There was no way that Aria could have any relation to the Gear in his eyes and so he chose to ignore every little sign in front of him. It was easier to pretend that it wasn’t true for his sanity every time he had to fight something that reminded him of her.
How else could he keep killing her?!
That came to bite him in the ass. Sol had no one to blame but himself for his reaction. How was he going to tone down the bubbling emotions inside of him, the ones that were aching for release?
The worst part was…why was his Aria that monster named Justice? The one that everyone hated, who tried to destroy humanity? Why did the person he loved so much have to be her?
That was the part he couldn’t accept the most. Sol could never accept the thing Asuka made her into.
He couldn’t accept her conclusion, the monster that she became and her creator who damned her to such a fate, her own friend. The biggest sign of Aria being Justice was from when he first met Jack-O’ and his head started to ache as it did around the other Valentines.
He chose to ignore it.
For the first time, Sol Badguy was at a loss. He felt himself wanting to smash the room, to cry out in such anger, to punch Asuka for everything, anything for this pain to leave him.
It hurt. It hurt!
It felt like someone was beating him up from the inside out, making sure to hit him where it hurt for the maximum suffering and pain! His heart was aching the most out of everything, squeezing tightly to the point that he felt his blood physically harden and struggle to circulate as his breath started shortening and quickening.
How could he?
How could he? How could he? How could he?!
How…how could he….?
The world around him became a blur as he instinctively tuned out the environment, their next words that he knew were important to acknowledge. They could all talk absolute shit about him and he wouldn’t give a single damn about it. All he could think about was how the pain wouldn’t let go of him.
Sol didn’t care.
Actually, he really didn’t give a damn anymore about the situation, about Elphelt and about the things he learnt from that bastard and Jack-O’. It didn’t matter any more, even the promise that he was going to uphold to the girl who was waiting for him. Everything flew right out the window for Sol and all he had left was his own shit.
How fucked up was that?
Sol suddenly felt himself flying out of the room from a very familiar hand connected to a very familiar person who decided to speak up. He met the familiar walls of Illyria Castle, that cold lifeless floor and locked eyes with the person who dared to touch him as if he owned the place they were standing in.
Oh, wait. He did.
Who else would try to help him? His rival did always meddle in some way, for better or for worse at times.
“Sol. Breathe.”
“…”
Ky’s voice wasn’t making anything better, despite how right he was. He was often right about a lot of things, much to his dismay.
Sol should be breathing.
It all started when Ky begged him to stay outside here with him, crouched down to his level. His rival threw him out of the door knowing that he would react badly, monitoring him after the large scream that erupted from Sol’s very core.
It was filled with such emotion that was usually void from the aloof bounty hunter, echoing throughout the halls and the castle walls around the two of them. It almost surprised Sol himself, but it came out without him being truly aware of it.
H'raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
It was good that he couldn’t see the look on Ky’s face right at that moment.
All he could hear were their muffled conversations from behind the door, only adding fuel to the very volatile fire brewing deep inside him. His vision was blurring in and out, hands shaking like a leaf despite the awkward position he was in on the floor. Sol had no idea how he looked like to his rival, but it couldn’t be good.
Why else would he be staring like that?
Hearing Asuka’s muffled voice wasn’t doing him any favours to his state, nor was hearing that lone female tone that belonged to Jack-O’. It was impossible to tune them out if all he could think about was them and what happened in that room. He wished that he could stop for his own sake, but he couldn’t.
It was one of the first times in their long history together that he let himself feel anything in front of Ky, let alone anyone that wasn’t himself in the darkness of night. The night was where no one could see his weakness, the humanity he kept close. It always caused his past to murmur louder than it should, forcing him to remember every single thing that led to who he was today and the future that would never come to be.
Sol would usually smoke to relieve some of the stress, but he quit it for Sin’s sake who would surely copy him if he saw. That kid didn’t need to destroy his lungs at such a young age, thinking that it would be cool since his old man smoked and it made him look tough. Sin was way too impressionable about everything and he didn’t need any yelling from Ky about how he was teaching his son such horrible things.
Second hand smoke wasn’t good for kids as he knew.
More importantly…there was no way that any of the people they were with didn’t hear his loud scream from behind that door.
No way.
Those walls didn’t soundproof shit, being much thinner than expected for such a fancy castle. He would know firsthand thanks to Ky and his woman who were way more conspicuous than they tried to be when doing their business. It always took all of his strength to not listen, but some things can’t be unheard.
Sol always had to pretend that he had a good rest to them when he didn’t get a wink of sleep thanks to their antics.
In the end, he couldn’t blame any of them.
It wasn’t like Sol Badguy to break down screaming, but they knew better than to check when there were more important things at stake. The world was about to go to shit once again with the literal Universal Will against all of humanity and having an audience with Asuka in person was rarer than Sol's crisis.
How could they miss that opportunity?
Sol knew what they were thinking deep down in their bright minds. They had to be thinking how Ky could handle him, relying on their wonderful leader to keep the monster calm while they had their serious talk about saving everyone. How could they even think such things when there was a bigger monster in there with them?!
Right?!
All you could hear in that hallway was a fist slamming against the floor, a barely kept growl from Sol and the quiet stare of his rival in return that was lowkey pissing him off in between the rest of his jumbled up range of emotions. Wasn’t there anything else he could do beside staring with such a sorry look?!
Sol was going to lose it.
Completely and utterly fucking lose it in the middle of the day in front of the guy who wanted to fight him some time ago. He couldn’t push any of it down when it kept bubbling up onto the surface wanting some release. This was the worst goddamn day of his life and nothing could beat this utter shit that was upon him.
Somebody smite him.
Just take his weapon and make a clean cut starting from his head. Make it quick so he didn’t have to suffer any longer with these stupid feelings. The thought about offing himself came to mind before the smiting idea, but he knew that he would do such a shit job while in this state and it wouldn’t help anyone.
Please.
Unfortunately for Sol, Ky was still there in front of him and was still trying to help him with his words of wisdom instead. He couldn’t hear Sol’s silent pleas of death, although he could probably guess the whole train of thought by the way he was staring. Those brown eyes screamed for his demise with such intensity, but his rival only shook his head with a more worried look upon his face.
Wonderful.
"Breathe. In and out.”
“…”
All he got was a single slam of a fist to the ground again at the stupid command he repeated, displeased at his silent pleas being rejected. Breathing was at the end of the very long list of things that he needed right then. Couldn't Ky give any better advice aside from the classic breathing tactic that never worked?!
Sol should tell him.
That deserved at least something along the lines of telling him to shut up with that useless shit or providing a free demonstration of how well he could breathe through his nose and mouth at the same time to prove a point. He was about to open his mouth, utter out one of those possibilities and watch his rival become offended.
And yet, there was nothing.
Sol’s body refused to function properly, teetering slowly towards total collapse if he kept going down this path of emotional destruction. He kept trying to communicate, but his mouth refused to make any other noises aside from his quickening heaves that were making him lightheaded and disoriented.
Damn it!
He absolutely hated himself for the way he was acting in front of his rival, and the way he would end up passed out on the cold floor if he couldn’t get himself together! How could this all be happening to him?!
“Calm down. Please breathe for me.”
No!
A fist of his came slamming down onto the floor again, making Ky jump.
There was a noticeable crack that was left from the impact, damaging the nice flooring the castle had with the loudest slam. Sol didn’t hear the surprised sound from Ky, nor the way he kept on going while using more strength with each subsequent hit. It seemed that this was how his body decided to vent some of the stress that was building up inside of him, and he couldn’t stop it.
Slam!
What was he meant to do to stop all this?! What was wrong with him?! Who was sitting on the ground like an idiot, refusing to talk?!
Slam!
Who?! Who was he?!
Slam!
“Was that Frederick?”
Sol’s eyes suddenly snapped towards the door behind Ky, both hands slamming against the floor at the familiar voice drifting into his ears despite it being impossible. It seemed that the voices from behind the door became louder for some absurd reason, the murmurs becoming catchable words.
Damn it.
That was the Grilled Chicken’s voice asking, clear as it ever was. It seemed that the older Gear was able to hear the slams from in there and decided to tell everyone instead of shutting the fuck up and ignoring it as a normal person would do. It was as if he was still in the room with them all and that wasn’t helping!
Sol knew why this was happening out of nowhere and all he could do was blame Asuka once again for this shit as always. He had stronger hearing than most humans ever would in their lifetimes and it was only amplified thanks to his erratic state. It came in handy when his bounty target tried to run in the dead of night thinking that he wouldn’t catch them by the scruff of their neck like some animal.
Not now.
“Is Frederick…okay? I fear that scream was rather loud.” The Grilled Chicken.
“…Frederick? He’ll be okay. That’s the feeling that I’m getting from deep inside of me. Perhaps there’s more of Aria than anticipated within me.” Jack-O’.
“He does seek revenge against me…but I know he will help us in the end. He always helped me whenever I overestimated myself back in the labs. I hope he will understand why I did everything I did by the end of our endeavors.” Asuka.
The rest of the conversation melted away as all he could see was red in front of him. Such nice words only set the last part of his sanity off the rails right down into the pits of hell.
How could they talk so casually about him as if they were his friends?! How could they trust him that much when he treated them both like shit?
Frederick didn’t deserve any of it. Why would he deserve anything after what he did?!
That’s when Sol lost it.
Hearing Jack-O speak made something snap inside of him first, akin to a rubber band that was wound too tight, while Asuka’s little remark only made the rubber band burn into a crisp by his own flames as he felt some kind of strange strangled noise leaving his mouth. It was what alerted Ky to his upcoming doom.
Why? Why?!
How could Asuka do this to them?! He never asked for any of this, nor did Aria who only wanted to be with him until the very end! She’d never want this future for them all, where they could never be the same again! What kind of messed up shit was all this, the fucked up reality of it all?!
Ugh!
His head was ringing, as it did long ago with Valentine…with every mention of her…they were all connected after all…
Make it stop!
The flashbacks of each stab in that large monstrous body, those final words he thought he hallucinated from Justice only seeked to ruin him further. It always came back to Aria and himself, to the “seeds” that were Adam and Eve implanted in them that only brought doom to the both of them!
Aria…his beloved Aria…he didn’t mean to. He didn’t mean to kill her. He would never hurt her, never hurt her…he wasn’t…he wasn’t…
He wasn’t a monster! He wasn’t!
Why couldn’t he believe himself?! Why couldn’t he stop himself?! Why did he want to kill himself so damn badly now?!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
“Sol!” Ky gripped his shoulders, trying to catch his attention to no avail as his grip increased in strength with every passing second.
“Look at me! Snap out of it!”
It took a few shakes from his rival to even rouse him, teeth gritted tight to the point that you could hear the sliding and stopping as his thoughts went to shit. Sol didn’t even fight back, letting Ky have his way as absurd the notion even was between the two. It was hard to miss how hard the person in front of him was trying to help a lost cause like himself.
“Take a deep breath. Look at me, Sol!”
Sol managed to lock eyes with Ky eventually after that yell, the bright blue filled with this intensity that made a shiver go down his spine. It was enough to bring him back from the meltdown he was having, his focus on those damn eyes that stole all the attention from the terrible thoughts running through his brain.
Why did he have to see them again?
It was the same eyes that used to look at him back in the Crusades, that scared Sol shitless when it was present and trained right at him. It was how Ky showed that he cared in such situations, that “serious” side that he rarely showed nowadays. It was the only way that Sol would listen in his current state, although his rival didn’t know that little fact and he sure hoped he never would.
"Enough. This isn’t the answer you decided on, is it?” Ky’s tone was resolute, as if he was scolding a child who was being inane.
Ordinarily, that would deserve some snarky remark.
Sol knew he was right again. He knew that it wouldn’t help with anything if he lost his shit when the world needed him the most. He knew all that without Ky’s words and that gaze that was piercing right through him. Could anyone blame him for the way he was acting, finding out that he was killing his beloved Aria?
“This isn’t the Sol I know. The one I know would fight me off without a single thought in that brain of his. Always headfirst, ignoring direct orders and rude to everyone. It always made me wonder as to why you were like this.”
The grip on his shoulders tightened to the point that it was painful, and he could only stare at his rival who was attempting to console him in his own strange way. The two of them were never good at sharing feelings through words, opting to duke it out in a not so friendly sparring match that got the point across.
Being a king clearly had changed Ky, not for the better.
“I understand a bit better now. Your past…has not been kind to you, has it? I suppose we share that sentiment at the end. However, as I said before…we need the Gear Maker to help us. I’ll have to ask you to humor me as you always do, if you could.”
Ky leaned in, alarmingly close for Sol’s liking.
There was nowhere to run, to look away from those striking eyes that still had a strong hold on him as breath seemed to stop. Did he not hear about a little thing called personal space, particularly his own?
“I need you, Sol. The world needs you to fight, to exist, to be that blazing fire that will save Elphelt as promised that day in front of everyone. Will you go back on that promise and leave her to suffer?”
He was silent after that, clearly awaiting an answer from the other who only breathed heavily in response to such a simple question. Sol’s mind went blank, as if it was trying to shut down after all of the shit he made himself go through. The silence went on for a little while as he felt himself slowly drifting somewhere, until Ky gave him another shake to rouse him again.
“Will you, Sol?” Ky repeated, trying to get something from him with some urgency. It finally made Sol think about it in that strange daze, his mind snapping to attention as she shook his head almost automatically.
No.
There was only one answer he could give. He won’t let Elphelt suffer in the hands of that bitch named Ariels who didn’t care about her children.
How could he?
Sol’s mouth opened but no words would come out once again to tell him. His knuckles turned alarmingly white next to him as he kept trying. He didn’t miss the hint of worry in Ky’s eyes that bloomed from under that gaze, still remaining silent. Was Ky trying to give him some space to talk?
Why? Why was Ky being so nice?
Why was he trying to help him when he had no hope?! A monster who killed his own girlfriend doesn’t deserve all this kindness! Why couldn’t he just go away and leave him alone with his sorry self to waste away?!
Go!
Go away! Leave me alone! I don’t want you to see me like this!
Stop staring at me!
Sol found that anger started to course through him, gritting his teeth as more of those thoughts attacked him left, right and center. His head kept pounding, making him lose all sense of himself as he felt some kind of power deep within him that was threatening to escape. He took a hissed breath, trying to calm himself to no avail.
Who the hell did Ky think he was?!
There was no way he could humor anything right now, not for anyone who had the gall to ask such shit! Telling him to push it all down and move on?! Elphelt needed him to save her, he knew that! He promised her and he would!
He will!
But who would help him? That was the question that no one ever seemed to ask. Everyone depended on him to fix shit in their lives, but who will fix his shit? Who would fix him now while he fell down towards his destruction?!
No one.
You couldn’t fix what was broken in the past. Ky told him that he had a future, but that was bullshit at the end of the day and he knew it deep inside of himself. Why did he let his rival’s words make an impression on him? Mere words couldn’t do anything to change the cold hard facts in front of you!
There was no future for Sol, really.
Not one without Aria, not one where he did the unthinkable to her without any retribution or remorse on his part.
He should have died back then truly when Asuka said he would, instead of playing along with his plans and letting himself become so pathetic now. It left him wondering, why was he trying so hard when she wouldn’t see any of it?
It was his fault. It was his fault. It was his fault for everything.
It was all his fault!
His hands suddenly grabbed Ky’s front, gripping the fabric so tightly that it made the two of them come even closer to one another, if that was even possible between them. It was too damn close for either of them, but it didn’t matter!
“I don’t have a future. You hear me? I have no damn future without her!” The anguish in Sol’s tone took Ky aback, the worry breaking into wide eyes.
A look that seemed to grace his face often, caused by his own worries in life and other people who questioned his righteousness and general notions of justice. Sol liked that look more than the one from before. It was how his rival should look at him when he saw him, knowing who he was!
“I killed her. I’m a murderer. I’m truly a monster, and you want me to help you? Don’t fucking make me laugh with your preaching.” A laugh left him, and then another that was meant to scare Ky off in some way. It was rough and low, ending up in some strange chokes that didn’t belong to him as he kept on going.
“I killed her, Ky. I killed her.”
There was no mistaking that shiver that went down his rival’s spine at the way Sol spat it out. The slight smoking of his hand only made him grit his teeth, forcing himself to push down the flames that wanted to escape from deep within him. It seemed that his powers were starting to react to the large fluctuations of his emotions and that wasn’t a good sign.
It was the slight shake of his shoulders that brought him back to the present. The way Ky was staring at him wasn’t…what he wanted to see. Sol wanted him to see him as a monster but…
It wasn’t right. None of this was right! This wasn’t how he wanted anyone to see him!
What was he doing?
Sol’s grip loosened at the realisation, his gaze slowly dropping towards the ground. He leaned forwards, his forehead nearly touching Ky’s chest as he let out a shaky breath. His fist was shaking so badly, that it would probably fall off right onto that cold floor. The anger was gently washing away, leaving him numb.
“I…killed her…”
There was only silence between the two of them. Sol never called Ky by his first name, only reserved for certain situations or whenever the bounty hunter wanted to mess with him. It wasn’t fair that Ky had to deal with his shit, his explosive emotions and the messed up words that he was telling him.
Then again, life was never fucking fair. If it was, he wouldn’t be Sol Badguy.
“I think you’re wrong, Sol.”
Sol’s fist immediately tightened its grip, making Ky stumble a bit as he raised his head up and shut his eyes with a tense sigh escaping him. First it was Jack-O’, and now Ky who barely had a clue about his past, telling him that he was wrong about what he did to her! Someone who was an outsider should know their place!
He killed her!
What made any of them have the right to tell him that?! No one had the right! They had no idea what he’d been through!
“Don’t—“
“Just listen to me. Think of it as an order if you have to, but listen!" Ky interrupted him, giving him a firm push against the wall.
That tone made Sol shut up on the spot. There was something in it that told him that his rival wasn’t messing around and he felt his body stiffen at being pushed back. He still kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see the expression on Ky’s face as he did whatever he wanted to him in his sorry state.
What was Ky going to do to him? Would he beat him up? An eye for an eye? Could he fight back like this?
“Don’t tell me that you have no future. If I could have one after what I’ve done, surely you can as well. Dizzy and I are always thankful that you are here, helping us despite your displeasure. I don’t know what we would do without you.”
A hand went to Sol’s head with such warmth, and it made his head shoot straight up to stare at Ky’s face with such an unreadable expression. It was too familial for what they were, yet it felt strangely nice. He couldn’t understand why Ky was doing this, but he must have thought that it would help.
Sol wasn’t a kid.
“You took care of Sin for me. You made me snap out of my sorry state when I was lost and I was able to become who I was today because of you. I can never thank you enough, Sol.”
Sol also knew that Ky also went through some absolute shit in his life. He was honestly a sorry sight back when, having an eyepatch on one eye while praying at the church rather pathetically on his knees. It was disgusting to see how far he had fallen from his grace as a soldier that came from the Order.
The fact that he showed such weakness in front of his own son only made him want to spit on him for being so disgusting. It took an unfair fight for Ky to even rouse him from such patheticness, watching him cry out of one eye when Sin stopped Sol from continuing his brutal onslaught by grabbing onto him.
If anyone could understand, it would be Ky.
“You told me that my God begged you to do that back then, that my confession was taking too long. This is my turn to do that for you, and I’m not letting you go until you understand me.”
Ky’s hand on Sol’s head started to slowly move, patting him as if he was a kid who was sulking his little heart out. It was too warm, too foreign, too weird in general that he didn’t have a single word to refute his rival who wasn’t wrong in the end. Sol didn’t want to admit it, but he really did need the simple comfort.
“None of it was your fault. I don’t want to see you become what I once was, as you said…disgusting to look at. You’re far from a disgusting being, a monster as you keep calling yourself for a reason that I cannot understand. I wish you would stop degrading yourself when you talk to me.”
Ky then lowered his hand from his head, giving him a firm shake of his head to further drive his point. Was it bad that Sol missed the warmth from it?
“You’re my friend. You’re Sol Badguy, and that’s good enough for me.”
A smile graced Ky’s face, as if he was somehow happy that he could say all this to him. That gaze that only scared him shitless melted into genuine fondness, and Sol’s eyes only widened like an idiot. How long was his rival waiting to confess such sappy things to him like they were friends according to him?
Fuck it all.
Ky had a point.
He actually had a point for once, which was surprising considering that he wasn’t any better than Sol at times if triggered in the wrong way. For example, imagine if he dissed his woman by calling her a monster. Ky would absolutely lose his shit and attack him without any hesitation and destroy him.
They were more alike than he could ever expect. Sol didn’t know how to feel about it.
“Do you understand, Sol?” Ky asked him with a sharp tone, clearly awaiting a terrible response that would leave them stuck like this for a while longer.
Lucky for him, he did.
Sol would never become such a disgrace like Ky was back then, praying to some weird God or whatever for salvation while wallowing in self pity. Shit had to be done, and it was all up to him once again to save the day from the evils that threaten humanity. It was the way it always was, and who was he to stop that?
Frederick would have to wait until Sol was done. That was the only conclusion he could come to.
Fine.
Sol pushed it all down.
He took all those bubbling emotions and locked them away, forcing himself to act normal for Ky’s sake, who didn’t want to see him like this. Why else would he spew such sappy crap?
All he had to do was survive until the conversation was over and both Asuka and Jack-O’ left his sight. It was a simple goal that he would achieve without any issues if he wanted to stay sane.
Look at that.
He felt better already.
A sigh left Sol once he felt better, blowing right into Ky’s face as the other blinked. He averted his eyes, trying to look nonchalant as always despite the emotions he just showed. His cheeks felt a slight burn in what could be called embarrassment, but hell would he admit it.
“Fine. I got it, I got it. World needs saving and the only one who can do it is me. Get off me so I can do that for you.” Sol told him, not missing the way Ky’s eyes seemed to shine in slow motion at the response, the most relieved look being painted on his face.
Huh.
Was he that happy?
Ky removed his hands from him but didn’t seem to move away. The two were left staring at each other rather awkwardly, and that made Sol raise an eyebrow. Did his rival suddenly become deaf in the meantime? The hell was he waiting for, some kind of apology? He wasn’t going to apologize for what happened.
“You let go of me first.” Ky kindly quipped after a while, glancing down and Sol followed his gaze to see that he was still grabbing on tightly with a fist.
Right.
Sol had to be a bit of an asshole when he let go, pushing Ky back onto his behind with a small grunt as he usually would. He wasn’t sorry despite all Ky did for him and the kind words and actions he displayed. His rival only smiled in return, seemingly pleased about being pushed to the ground as he stood up without a single sound.
Sol lifted himself from the ground in tandem, cracking his neck in his usual fashion with small hisses when his muscles protested. His legs ached like a bitch alongside his shoulders thanks to Ky, while his head tingled from those pats he didn’t ask for. He would need a nice long shower after all this.
Speaking of all that…
“Mention that any of this happened to them and I will kill you before you can even breathe.” A usual remark left his mouth that signified that he was back to his normal jerky self the masses loved.
“Kill me? I wouldn’t like that to happen.” Ky mused while dusting off his clothes, and Sol’s hands unconsciously summoned his Junkyard Dog.
The feel of the weapon made him feel more in control, not missing the way Ky stared at it with a bigger smile. Why did he suddenly feel the urge to hit someone square in their face?
The door opened suddenly before he could act on his intrusive thoughts, and the two were met face to face with That Man and Jack-O’s faces. That dread that was boiling slowly inside his body suddenly peaked despite all his pushing down, taking all of his effort to not show it.
The only telltale sign was the twitching of his fingers on his weapon, one that he knew Ky didn’t miss. Sol wouldn’t let Asuka have that satisfaction, although he probably noticed it as well.
“Frederick. I thought it would be rude if we left without saying goodbye.” His wonderful old friend told him, floating forward for some reason and he had to bite back the curses.
Hell no.
“You should have just left.” Sol shot back, Junkyard Dog now resting on his shoulder. It was a warning to stay the fuck away from him or it would go through those white fabrics.
He swore he could see a sheepish smile underneath that hood as he stopped in place. Jack-O’ only bounded right behind him, jumping up and down like some little kid on steroids or some shit. That bastard was really wanting a beating, wasn’t he?
“I’ll let Dr Paradigm inform you of what we talked about. Please know that I mean no harm, I wish to save Elphelt Valentine too.”
Sol clicked his tongue, bouncing his weapon on his shoulder once. “I didn’t ask.”
“And yet, I shall tell you regardless.”
He had to hold himself back from blasting the floating figure across the room and out that window. Leo might get caught in the crossfire but that wasn’t his damn problem. If he was smart enough, he would move out of the way.
Why couldn’t he just leave?!
It seemed that Asuka finally got the message by the sudden shift in magic in the area that only he and a few others could sense. Sol knew the five forms of magic to an extent, dabbling into their chords that ran from The Backyard.
This one had a certain touch that only the Gear Maker could make.
Asuka created a portal behind him effortlessly and started floating backwards rather ceremoniously with his hands out as he always did. It wasn’t really surprising to him, but he could hear Leo’s sputters of disbelief and frustration at the miraculous sight. He could always be so damn dramatic when there wasn’t any reason to be.
“I wish you well, Frederick. Come, Jack-O’.”
Sol didn’t even bother to answer back as the hooded figure disappeared, leaving Jack-O’ rather alone who should have followed her master’s orders and left them already. Instead, she simply stared at him with those large red eyes of hers, the widest smile on her face instead of moving her butt to wherever she stayed in the world.
Ugh.
Why couldn’t his old friend have any normal servants instead of these crazy people?
“What?” Sol scowled, narrowing his eyes at her in what looked like annoyance, but he couldn’t hide the hint of curiosity in his gaze the longer he stared at her unmoving form.
“Got something to say?”
Jack-O’ only tilted her head like a little kid, even having the gall to step towards him instead of the large black portal right behind her, his eyes trained on every step she took that made a light noise against that cold floor.The weapon didn’t seem to phase her, nor the probable murderous intent oozing from his being that would scare anyone with a brain away. Why the hell wasn’t she leaving?
“Are you really okay? You don’t look like it! That was a really loud scream earlier!” She pointed out, rather tastelessly.
Sol felt his jaw clench on reflex.
This was something Sin would say to him like the idiot he was and his fist would drive right into his stomach to teach him a lesson. Shouldn’t she be smart enough to not mention that? Not in front of his face? Even Asuka had the decency not to despite everything. Just like Aria, saying things without thinking—no.
“Tch. Scram before—“
“So mean! I don’t think people like you for your stinky personality! Poo!” Jack-O’ made a disgusted expression, pinching her nose with two fingers. “Do you even have any friends with that poopy mouth of yours?”
What the hell was her problem?
That high pitched voice only made things worse, and the way she tried to ward off his “stench” only made his blood pressure rise through the roof. It would have been so much easier if she just left like Asuka without much hassle, but of course she had to be the different one for the sake of it!
“The hell did you just say…? Shut up and leave already before I make you!” Sol warned her, bouncing his weapon once again on his shoulder.
Jack-O’s expression suddenly changed into a neutral one, the childish air surrounding her gone as if it was never there in the first place. It was something that Sol noticed from their first encounter, the dual personalities of a child and an adult that she had been exhibiting for some strange reason.
If he were to surmise, her state was rather unstable and incomplete thanks to her wonderful creator. Clearly, Asuka fucked up while making her and for her to remain in this plane of existence, she would require substance in the form of candy and perhaps that mask of hers as an anchor to this world.
It could also be due to the half of Aria’s soul within her, forcing the creation of such personalities until her true consciousness would take over and eliminate the others for control. He could never understand why his old friend would go so far, but it was messed up. Did Jack-O’ ask to be here, to be made in the first place?
It was the adult side he should have been more concerned with.
“Don’t be so selfish. Try listening to someone else for once, like I told you back then.” Jack-O’ looked at him dead in the eye, and the red gleam of them instantaneously mixed into warm green that stared with such familiarity.
Aria…?
Sol nearly dropped his Junkyard Dog clean onto that cold floor at the sight before him. He had to be hallucinating. It was impossible, it had to be impossible to see her warm eyes again, that green was lost to time and was only left in his memories! Let alone those words! Those words…she…she shouldn’t…
Ugh.
His head started ringing at them, at those green eyes. It hurt like a bitch, pounding like a drill hammer smashing through all his brain matter with the intent of destroying each cell. Sol tried to will it away as he always could, but it kept on going despite his efforts. Why was this happening to him all over again?!
Fuck!
What was she doing to him?
“Huh? Like I told you once before?” Jack-O’ tilted her head once again, taking a moment to ponder as her voice became high pitched again. “Well, whatever! I’m sure I’ll remember at some point!”
“You—“
“Anyway! We’ll see each other soon! Bye, Frederick!” Jack-O waved suddenly with a grin, disappearing into that darkness before he could answer her back. His hand shot out instinctively, legs about to move right after her as he put his free hand to his head that didn’t help at all.
No. No. No. Don’t leave!
Aria!
The portal melted away in an instant, leaving him alone with Ky and the others staring from the inside with a million thoughts coursing through his mind. If he could even think behind the pain, his expression breaking through into something Ky knew too well. It was why he opened his mouth, trying to say something that Sol didn’t need right now!
“Sol–”
Sol slammed a fist into the wall, leaving a large crack in its wake before his rival could finish, shutting him up. It made Ky jump, Leo yell out that he was damaging public property and Dr Paradigm blink like an idiot. He only supposed that they didn’t find out about the giant hole he left in one of the rooms to help Ramlethal out with her crisis.
At least Sin could be quiet about that. His continuous beatings taught the kid something good at the end, and that made him feel oddly satisfied in a way. His teachings weren’t as terrible as he anticipated when he agreed to take him. Is this how a father felt towards their children, seeing them grow up (somewhat) properly?
That wasn’t the point.
Sol’s fist lowered slowly, with his weapon disappearing into thin air as he let out a shaky breath that didn’t sound good. The headaches weren’t subsiding still, and he felt something dark trying to drag itself to the surface. He also could see his hand slowly smoking again, and that wasn’t a good sign in his current state.
Damn it.
If he didn’t fucking lose it before, there was no saving him from what would happen now. Ky got lucky last time through some miracle with his words and weird actions, but this…this was too much for him to handle. They couldn’t all watch him fall apart as well, seeing what he truly was underneath his human exterior he clinged onto. It was time to leave before he truly became the monster that he wasn’t.
Ugh.
Sol took a step forward, heavy and loud against the floor as he forced himself to move. Then another, and another with a slight wobble that he couldn’t control, making him slam right into the wall with an alarming sound. If this was a show, they would play a gasp sound and then make each person have a face that was all squashed up after you ate a lemon.
Fuck!
He could feel their stares, the strange mix of worry and confusion laced within them and the beating of his own heart that was so damn fast. He pulled himself off the wall after a few seconds with another alarming wobble, legs dragging themselves towards the hallway once again with some effort.
Sol had to go.
“Frederick, hold on!” The Grilled Chicken called out to him, and he stalled in place at it. “We’re not done here. Please, let me at least explain what will happen in the coming days!”
“…”
Was he blind? Did it look like he wanted to talk?!
Dr Paradigm could be the smartest being there was but damn he lacked any of the vital social skills from this generation. Living on an island filled with only Gears as company and living in some water bubble hasn’t done any good for his social development. This only went to show why the older Gear didn’t deserve any respect from him!
“Shut–”
A stab suddenly pierced through Sol’s brain, a cough leaving him. It made him rest a hand against the wall with a wince, seeing the slight burn mark that was forming underneath. Sol could hear their mutters at the development, the way Ky was coming closer with a question or two that sounded like white noise when it came through his ears.
Something was wrong with him. His own body was breaking down before their very eyes, watching him stand straight with a few wobbles and raise a shaky hand towards the headband that he always wore. It was utterly scalding to the touch as they could tell by the way he snatched his hand away.
Shit.
All the signs were pointing to a breakdown, and Sol had to move while he still could. He didn’t know how far he would progress, but they couldn’t witness it. He wouldn’t let anyone else see how pathetic he could become, forcing himself to drag his legs towards the hallway despite how they all cried out for him to stop.
“Sol, wait! Dr Paradigm, please! What…what is happening to him?” That was Ky’s voice that finally broke through, making him clench his teeth.
“I…fear that I don’t know. It might have something to do with the Flame of Corruption overheating that is causing a rapid breakdown of self…Frederick, you need to calm down and stay here so I can find out!”
No!
Why didn’t any of them understand?! Did they want to see how far he could fall?! There was no saving him from himself!
“Don’t follow me!” Sol snarled out when he heard footsteps, his tone utterly hostile with an undercurrent of something else that shut them all up.
No one dared to follow him as he left, watching him hit the wall again.