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There are at least two-hundred-billion-trillion stars in the known universe. This estimate has been deduced through a variety of measures, one of them being the brightness of starlight. Nanami knows this because he read it in All About Space Magazine, which gets delivered to campus once a week and is the only expenditure he uses his school stipend to splurge on. It's perhaps not what anyone would expect from him but he'd caught the tail-end of a documentary in the lounge a few weeks ago, nestled on the couch in the dark while the history of the planets was blazed through on screen.
It's interesting. Besides, Nanami is stuck in flux often, chauffeured around for missions and taking the train into the city. There's only so much scrolling he can do on his phone during these journeys. At least with this subscription he can try and keep entertained instead of getting jittery in the wait to exorcise curses.
He's reading the latest issue right now actually. Or pretending to. It's more that he's watching the others play basketball, their trainers squeaking with every jump. He's only sat here because Yu insisted but Nanami rejected the offer to join, claiming he was content to sit on the side with his reading material.
Suit yourself, Gojo had said, his eyes glimmering from behind his sunglasses. You can be my little cheerleader.
The scowl was instaneous, Nanami deciding that he wouldn't pay any attention at all. It's harder in practice though, the urge to sneak discreet glances at Gojo is impossible to ignore when the other boy is showing so much skin today, clad in a loose vest and oversized shorts. The third years are present today, one of them snatching the ball from Yu and passing to Shoko. She only lasts a few paces before Gojo regains possession, pausing in the middle of the court just to meet eyes with Nanami who's not been covert enough in his observation.
"I don't hear any cheering," Gojo calls out, striking a strange pose in a bid to peacock. Nanami huffs, lifting the magazine back up and starting to read again with renewed determination.
Venus represents Aphrodite – the Goddess of love and beauty. Unlike the other planets in the solar system, Venus spins backwards, alone in this oddity. There are a few theories for why but as Nanami scans the page, he decides on which he finds the most believable. The sun has such a strong gravitational pull that it created great tides on its surface and one day Venus' rotation just flipped.
At the sound of laughter, Nanami looks up to Geto and Gojo celebrating over Yu's goal.
Flipped. Yeah, that seems about right.
***
"You could just talk to him, y'know?"
"Huh?" Nanami says, none too eloquently, putting his magazine down and peering over at Yu. "Talk to who?"
"Gojo-senpai." Yu waves his fry around, specks of ketchup dropping onto his tray. "You've been staring at him for the last minute."
Heat rises to Nanami's cheeks and he knows from experience that it's definitely visible, climbing his pale skin in dusty hues of pink. Still, he reinforces himself and points to the magazine. "I'm reading actually. Why would I be staring at Gojo-senpai?"
The resulting snort is more insulting than if Yu had given a straight-up answer. "That's a terrible question with an obvious conclusion." Then Yu's gaze travels over to the hot food line, where Gojo's leaning over Shoko to say something to the dinner lady, probably trying to charm her into double portions. "Well, obvious to some."
"I don't know what you're talking about Yu-kun." The smile that Nanami flashes is sharp, a warning more than anything else as the second years start walking over. "But maybe you shouldn't be so loud about it."
"Loud about what?" asks Geto, sitting down beside Nanami, who pushes his empty tray aside to make for more space. "You two keeping secrets?"
Nanami ducks his head, frowning at the fact that he's already startlingly close to the truth. "What secrets could we possibly have to keep?"
"I could think of one," Shoko says, leaning forward from beside Yu, Gojo settling in on her other side, right in front of Nanami. Something about her tone of voice feels dangerous. Nanami wishes he hadn't finished his food so quickly, in need of something to do with his hands. Gojo must mistake his frown for hunger because he slides his tray further into the centre of the table.
"Take a nugget." Then he tilts his head, seeming to have registered Shoko's crypticism. "What one?"
"Nothing," she replies, though the tone of voice makes it feel like something and Nanami busies himself with the offered nugget, choosing to chew in silence while Yu manages an abrupt change in the conversation, something about a show that he's been watching. Nanami can't contribute anything to the topic, not having watched, so he turns back to his magazine, thumbing at a drawing of the Aquarius constellation. It's made up of thirteen stars, pretty even on paper.
"You've gotten pretty into that, haven't you?"
It's only Nanami's training which stops him from jolting at the question, totally unaware that Gojo may have been paying attention when more interesting things are being spoken about. He lifts his eyes and Gojo nods toward the magazine. "You've been reading it a lot. Is that a constellation?"
"It's Aquarius." Nanami is stuck by a sudden self-consciousness, wiping his mouth for any stray crumbs while Gojo leans forward to look at the page. "One of the zodiacs."
"I know it." Gojo's eyes light up, understanding seeming to spring forth. "The Water Bearer, right? Is that why you're interested?"
Nanami blinks, wondering if he's missed something. "What?"
"Y'know. Na-na-mi. You've got a connection to water."
It's silly enough that Nanami feels amusement tickle his throat. He clears it, narrowing his eyes in a conspiratorial fashion and leaning forward to match the other. "That's a good theory, senpai. Except my zodiac is Cancer."
Gojo deflates, disappointed. "What element is that?"
It's with only a smidgen of reluctance that Nanami admits, "Water." When Gojo grins, snapping his fingers in victory, that smidgen of reluctance dissipates, replaced by what can only be heartache.
This would be easier if he wasn't so pretty, he laments, averting his eyes.
***
Today's mission was taxing. Actually, taxing is an understatement. Nanami is covered in curse residue. Yu has been in bed sick for nearly two days and Nanami had been forced to deal with two Third Grades alone, only the supervision of his teacher offering the slightest bit of comfort. One small mercy is that they'll be back on campus earlier than expected, the evening not yet wasted away.
A shower and then a few hours lounging about sounds like perfection right now.
This would be the case usually. Nanami knows everybody's schedules pretty well. Nobody ever haunts the shower room at this time. Still, knowing hasn't helped him much. Not when he arrives on campus, heading towards the changing rooms to undress before traipsing to the showers. All that's really on his mind is the warmth of the water washing away the grime from the day.
He's not expecting Gojo to be here, already in a stall, facing inwards with the stream running down his back. Nanami isn't a prude. He's been in the showers at the same time as Yu. But Gojo is different. His body isn't just a body, at least not one that Nanami can treat with neutrality. He's stopped in the doorway, hesitant, keeping his sight pointed eye-level while trying to decide whether to back out and return later. The choice is taken from him when Gojo turns his head, looking over his shoulder at him.
Nanami still has a towel around his waist but he feels awfully bare, his torso suddenly cold even in the heated room. Gojo's taller but he's also broader. Some nights, Nanami dreams of leaning on his shoulder, pressing his lips to the collarbones which jut out like they've been carved from clay. Where once there was Caesar and Augustus, for Nanami there is now only Gojo Satoru. Gojo doesn't linger, going back to whatever daydreaming he must do under the white noise of the shower, Nanami can still feel the tips of his ears burning. He looks down at his own feet and walks forward into a stall a fair distance away, the angle blocking Gojo from sight. It's the most reprieve he'll get and he sets about showering as clinically as possible.
At the sound of the door clicking shut, Nanami allows himself to stop tensing. A quick check confirms that Gojo's gone.
It's unfair that he just gets to walk around looking like that.
It's a pathetic thought. It's somehow made even more pathetic by the now empty room. Nanami exhales, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against the cold tiled walls, hoping for sense to seep into him. It doesn't work. All he can picture is the slope of Gojo's arms, how they had flexed at the intrusion before relaxing when he realised it was Nanami. He stands under the water until the shampoo has been rinsed out of his hair and stays even past that, counting the seconds to make sure that Gojo will have gotten dressed and left.
Once again, he's caught off-guard at Gojo's presence. He's fully dressed this time, in a pyjama set and sat on a chair while reading something on his phone. Nanami flushes, tugging the towel around him a bit tighter, very aware that the lighting in here is better, highlighting every possible flaw upon his skin. The scars littering his sides are probably even more obvious with the help of the Six Eyes. He needn't be worried since when Gojo looks up, he focuses only on Nanami's face, not concerned by his state of undress.
"You seem tired. Was the mission difficult?"
Nanami pauses at his little cubby, turning around to pull out his clothes and fiddle with the label of his top. He's not sure how long he can stand here without changing, his heart thudding within his chest. He'd rather seem awkward than bare himself to Gojo. "It was more tiring than difficult. Working alone is really different from working alongside someone."
Gojo doesn't respond for a moment, the silence stretching between them. Nanami twists to gauge his mood and finds him staring at his phone, squinting despite his perfect vision. "Today is a good day for your work. You performed well and might be entrusted with new responsibilities, possibly leading to a promotion."
The strange wording is so beyond the scope of how Gojo usually speaks that Nanami forgets his nerves and snorts. "What?"
Gojo pouts, his bottom lip jutting out ridiculously. "It's pretty straightforward. Keep it in mind."
Nanami would protest this but Gojo gets to his feet, swinging his bag across his back with a smile. "You've been training hard."
"I have," Nanami replies, uncertain about how to deal with someone who can never stick to one thing for more than ten seconds.
"Keep it up. You look good."
"I look– uh, thank you."
There's a very big part of Nanami which crumbles into dust the moment he stutters, so inelegant in his surprise that he's not even able to piece together anything better. And it sucks because he's half naked and confused and Gojo doesn't seem at all affected, leaving with a laugh that Nanami's never heard before.
***
The universe is expanding at a rate at which is getting faster and faster. It's said that the universe may never stop this growth, continuing endlessly in its search for more space. Nanami read this several issues ago but it's circling his head right now. He's beginning to believe his feelings for Gojo are like the universe – never-ending. That's the only possible explanation for why he can't stop thinking about him.
Gojo is flippant and too loud and has the biggest ego from anyone Nanami's met and he still can't stop thinking about him. Nanami grinds his teeth, kicking at a rock from where he's sat on the low wall. It's an off day today, no classes because of a staff meeting. Somehow, he's still ended up at the training yard, subject to Gojo and Geto's usual desire to win at something. Today it's weapons training. It's sort of funny actually, since Nanami is the only one of them to use a weapon with any sort of regularity.
"Lift your arm higher!" Geto advises Yu, modelling the movement to try and get him to at least put up a fight against Gojo. Yu mirrors him, digging his feet into the dirt for better leverage and only just managing to block a blow from Gojo.
Even without wielding a weapon on the daily, Gojo somehow manages to be proficient. His current stance is terrible – lazy even. But it must be purposeful, showing off just how easy this spar is with a sharp grin. Nanami kicks another rock, infuriated at the circumstances, at a heart which doesn't seem to understand the concept of self-preservation. His little grunt of displeasure must ring louder than intended because everyone glances over at him, even Shoko opening her eyes from her place in the shade.
Nanami clenches his hands into fists, determined to not be such a downer over someone who won't reciprocate. He offers a tremulous smile, putting sincerity into it when he says, "You can do it Yu." Yu, in return, does a little hop and raises his hand in a wave. It would be sweet except Gojo seems to choose now as the perfect time to get serious, squaring his shoulders and swinging his sword in a flashy arc, the pommel held with expertise that really shouldn't belong to someone who picks up a weapon maybe once a semester. He moves fast, delivering three hits to Yu's chest in quick succession with the flat of the blade before delivering what would be the finishing blow to his stomach, if he'd not flipped the sword and jabbed with the hilt.
Still, it's enough to have Yu cough, the blunt force knocking the wind out of him.
"That was– that was really cool senpai," Yu manages to say, in awe even now. Gojo just shrugs, reaching out to pat Yu's back while Shoko gripes about show-offs.
"Maybe you should practice against Suguru instead." Gojo throws his sword over to Geto. "That'll be easier."
"Very funny," Geto replies, not sounding the least bit amused. Though he doesn't put down the sword, always one to accept a challenge. "Get ready Haibara-kun."
Nanami is distracted from the impending spar by the sight of Gojo drawing closer, the older boy preoccupied with his own hands, examining them with a focus that appears unwarranted. He slumps down beside Nanami, their arms pressed together, heat free-bleeding through the contact. "I should have kept Infinity on," he grumbles, splaying his hands out for Nanami to see. "They've turned red."
They have indeed turned red. Gojo's hands are free from calluses, meaning that training sessions like this are not kind on his skin. It's a ridiculous complaint to have as a sorcerer-in-training but Gojo is perhaps the one person who can pull off the indignation in a way that makes sense.
"You're not allowed your technique in spars."
The wry statement seems to fly over Gojo's head, his focus drifting before his gaze slides over to Nanami's lap. "Show me your hands."
Nanami, who's had both his hands on his knees, leans away. "What? Why?"
"Just do it."
It's with the most tentative movements that Nanami offers up his hands, showcasing the scar wrapping around from his knuckle to his thumb. More surprising than the request is Gojo taking ahold of them, as gentle as can be even as he concentrates, the Six Eyes roving to catalogue every imperfection. There's not much to do but join him in the looking, silence between then until Gojo says, "Having calluses seems cool."
Nanami stares. "How?"
"Proof that you use your hands for something. That they're useful and not just for show." It's a strange outlook and Nanami regards his hands again, trying to figure out if it's indeed the truth when Gojo continues. "Evidence that you've been touched." He punctuates this with a light brush of his thumb against the brunt of Nanami's hypothenar, nonplussed by the roughness even as Nanami has to suppress a shiver, his gums suddenly alight.
"Do you need evidence of that?"
Gojo's eyes flash, the blue melting like the lollies he's so fond of. He's rueful and Nanami starts to pull back, sensing he's misstepped somehow, but he forgets he's still in Gojo's grasp and just ends up dragging the boy closer. The decreased distance means that when Gojo exhales, it fans across Nanami's skin. Bubblegum. "Some people do," Gojo whispers, his eyes cutting to the side in what must be thought, something Nanami isn't privy to.
"Gojo-senpai?" Nanami questions, tentative and unsure about whether he should allow himself to enjoy the feel of Gojo's grasp of his wrist. Gojo cocks his head, the haze clearing.
"You know, from looking at your hands, you look like an air sign. Thinking you're an Aquarius wasn't so farfetched."
"How do you mean?" And then the tingle from before is back with a vengeance, sparks shooting down Nanami's spine when Gojo starts tracing against Nanami's lifeline, a spiritual stigmata. Nanami closes his eyes, forcing himself to not give away just how much he enjoys the proximity. He's not sure how successful he is.
"Your fingers are in proportion with you palms. It would indicate the mark of an air sign." Gojo hums, deciding on something. "But your personality matches the water signs I suppose. Intuitive and empathetic. That fits you to a tee."
There's laughter from where the others are and a part of Nanami realises that he should move back, create space so as to not be misunderstood. But there's a more pressing part of him which preens at being perceived, being called intuitive and empathetic akin to praise in his muddled up teenage mind.
I didn't know Gojo-senpai was so into this stuff.
"What do your hands say then?" he asks, curious despite himself. He's taken aback when Gojo lays out a hand and guides Nanami to it, giving him to permission to explore. It's all innocent stuff but Nanami still hesitates, glancing up to Gojo's soft smile.
"You can check but I suppose you don't know what you're looking for." He flexes his hand, which is when Nanami presses their fingertips together, driven by an inexplicable urge. He feels, rather than hears, Gojo's breath hitching in his throat before he clears it. "That's one way to do it I suppose."
"Explain to me then." Nanami squints, trying to take on the nonchalant affect that Gojo is such an expert in.
"I have longer fingers and a rectangular palm so it could be presumed that I'm a water sign."
"But you're not."
"Nope." Gojo clucks his tongue, laughter making his voice light. "I'm a fire sign." And Gojo finally breaks their connection, swiping back his bangs so they don't hang in his face. Nanami watches, suddenly aware of how the bricks from the wall are digging into his thighs. He's saved from trying to say something which won't give away how much he wants to keep holding hands because there's a yelp, Yu sweating while running in a circle, trying to evade Geto's self-assured march.
He's definitely losing.
"Would it kill you to cheer for me?" Gojo asks, so out of left-field that Nanami isn't sure he's understood.
"Pardon?"
Gojo swivels, facing Nanami head-on again. He can't seem to bear to look at him though, his blue eyes looking toward the ground. "I've asked you to cheer for me and you never do. I'm saying would it kill you to do that?"
Nanami's mouth is dry. He swallows, pretending to think. Gojo waits with more patience than he's known him to possess. "Probably not, no."
"Try it next time then." Gojo's signature smile is missing and the hand that had held Nanami is twitching, just a tiny bit. Nanami breathes out through his nose, considers the cons of giving in. But Gojo is beseeching and the ocean is very easy to get lost in, always tugging people under.
"I'll try."
***
People have been looking toward the sky for guidance since the beginning of humanity. It's why so many stories of Gods are intertwined with space. Pluto enjoyed seventy-six years as a planet before being demoted. It has five moons, the biggest of which is called Charon. Charon's name is derived from the ferryman who guides those in the afterlife to their final fates. But its Greek roots are that of charapós, meaning "of keen-gaze", or even blue eyes.
Nanami sits cross-legged in the lounge, reading the new issue of All About Space Magazine, and wonders what it would be like to have your own blue-eyed moon orbiting around you forever.
Like safety, probably.
When Gojo shuffles into the room, Nanami changes his mind.
Like torture.
He's flanked by the other second years, both of whom are in considerably higher spirits. In fact, with how pale Gojo is right now, Nanami wouldn't be surprised if he was about to puke. Nanami sits up, furrowing his brows in case that actually does happen. It doesn't. Instead, Geto throws his arm around Gojo's shoulder, whispering something in his ear which makes him stiffen, turning to walk out even though the way is blocked by Shoko. Nanami watches wordlessly while Shoko spins him to face the room.
"Grow a pair," Geto mutters. The glare that Gojo sends his way is cold, but he stops trying to escape, smoothing down the front of his t-shirt and stomping over to the couch. That's all he does, towering over Nanami with no other goal. There's an exasperated sigh from the other side of the room.
"Do you need something, Gojo-senpai?" This at least gets the older boy to look at him, his placid smile weak.
Gojo rubs at the back of his neck. "There's this new exhibition at the museum. A mobile planetarium. It's here for the week and I was wondering if you'd want to go." Then, with a loose gesture toward the ceiling, he continues, "It'll show the stars and stuff."
The extra explanation isn't needed. Nanami is very much aware of what a planetarium is. He would be confused as to why he's being singled out for an invite but it's clear that Gojo feels comfortable sharing in this new interest with him. It's endearing actually. And as Nanami chews the flesh of his cheek, he decides that supporting Gojo as a friend is worth the inevitable heartache he'll suffer from spending time together.
Plus, while Nanami isn't exactly a fiend for the stars in the exact way Gojo is, he's still intrigued by them.
"Sure."
Gojo peers down at him. "Today?"
Nanami nods, his chest tight. "I don't have any plans." And this is the truth. He'd been prepared for a lazy Sunday, rolling around on the couch for a while before tomorrow brings lessons with it.
Finally, Gojo sheds his strange demeanour, straightening up and grinning bright enough that it's like the last few minutes of stooped blanching had never happened. "Great. I'll get changed."
Nanami appraises him, confused as to why he'd change when he's dressed perfectly fine. Before he can inquire about the dress code, Gojo is speeding away.
"You should change too, Nanami-kun," advises Geto, once Gojo has departed. He's sat at the table, Shoko typing away furiously on her phone.
Something is off about this situation.
"Okay."
***
The line for the mobile planetarium is pretty long, only a few people allowed in at a time. They're getting pretty close to the front though, guaranteed to be in the next batch. Nanami's been trying not to sneak glances at Gojo but he ends up doing it anyway. It's hard not to when he's dressed the way he is, black slacks that fit well, an expensive shirt with the top three buttons left open.
"You excited?" Gojo asks, his gaze fixed on the door to get in.
"Shouldn't I be the one asking that?"
Gojo shifts, his shirt revealing a sliver more of his chest. "What do you mean?"
The line starts moving again, people finally walking inside, and Nanami chooses to pull Gojo along instead of answering, wanting a good space. The room they're in is bright but as they pass through into the planetarium, they're plunged into darkness. Just to avoid tripping, Nanami slows his pace, narrowing his eyes in search of where to go. Then there's a hand interlocking with his own, Gojo stepping close. "Follow me."
Of course, the Six Eyes must have no issue with the lack of light. Nanami allows himself to be led, weaving around a few people who have already settled on the ground. "Here is good," Gojo says, and that's all the warning he gives before he drops to the floor, Nanami sinking down alongside him.
It's fortunate that the lights above turn on now because the spread of colour illuminates the plain delight on Gojo's face. People around them begin to lay down to better view the ceiling and after a beat, Nanami does too. It's cosy in here, even moreso when Gojo lays down beside him and the world is bathed in green. Nanami is aware that none of this would compare to the real thing but he still finds himself holding his breath, in awe of all the lights, of almost seeing what he's been reading about.
"This is called a Green Pea Galaxy," Nanami whispers, turning his head to look at the shadows of Gojo's face. "They're green because of heat." Gojo turns too and Nanami notices too late just how close this places them. The sunglasses Gojo usually wears were taken off the moment they entered the planetarium and his eyes are glowing green now.
When he speaks, Nanami inches closer to hear him over the ambience. "I'm glad I heard about this." Gojo runs a hand through his hair, blinking quickly before his lips quirk up. "I read that I should take charge of what comes my way today, that the timing is perfect for me to jump. And it turned out to be true."
As distracting as the genuine happiness of Gojo's smile is, Nanami finds himself caught again on the strange wording. "Huh?"
Gojo's awash in purple now. Nanami glances up and absently notes it as a Gioiello cluster. "In my horoscope."
"Oh," Nanami replies, as realisation dawns. "I would never have expected you to be into horoscopes."
"I'm not but since you are, I thought it would be nice to talk about." Gojo touches his hair, more sheepish now than before. A wellspring of affection floods Nanami. Surprise overpowers it.
"Me?"
"Yeah, you like stars and those kinds of things."
"Sure but I enjoy astronomy not astrology." It's as Nanami says this, taking in Gojo's bewildered expression, that he remembers the recent times where Gojo's imparted strangely phrased advice to him.
Horoscopes?
Then Nanami's laughing, a sound erupting deep from his stomach. He tries to muffle it with his sleeve but the sound bleeds through anyway as he shakes. It's only the glare from a woman opposite that gets him to go quiet, his body relaxing from the shot of dopamine. "Is that why you kept saying all that stuff? I thought you were trying to drive me off campus."
"No!" Gojo says a bit too loud, lifting his head as he does so. The pinkness to his cheeks has nothing to do with the stars. Nanami didn't think he was capable of embarrassment. "No, that's not what I was trying to do." Then, as if it pains him. "I didn't know how to tell you I like you."
The last of Nanami's amusement dries up.
"Oh."
In the face of hearing what he wants, Nanami's mind falls silent. In fact, he freezes up, debating whether this is a very detailed dream. Any second now Nanami is destined to wake up to a world where Gojo Satoru sees him as just the kouhai he enjoys teasing.
"Is that all?" Gojo chuckles, strained. He's still hovering a bit above Nanami. The way his hair has fallen makes him look younger, bashful even. "You're killing me here."
In Nanami's fantasies, he's always had a contingency plan for Gojo reciprocating his feelings. He would be romantic, sweep Gojo off his feet, turn up the charm to a hundred. Real life is not like fantasy. "I like you too," he manages to squeak out, his heart thudding in his chest.
"Are you sure?" Gojo asks, voice low and sounding unconvinced.
Not exactly how I imagined my confession going.
It doesn't deter Nanami. He just presses closer. "I'm sure." He wants to prove it somehow, wants to kiss Gojo until they're both out of breath. There's too much fear for him to try it here but he sneaks a hand between them, interlaces their fingers and relishes in this contact, however simple it may be. "I like you too."
There's at least two-hundred-billion-trillion stars in the known universe. When Gojo's face relaxes from relief, his cheeks swelling with a smile, Nanami is sure half those stars are in his eyes.