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The invitation was interesting, if unusual. The Qin Sect, a cultivation sect from a nearby country, trying to establish a relationship with neighbouring cultivation sects. Lan Xichen had been intrigued. After word reached him that The Sect Leaders from the Nie, Jin and Jiang Sect had also been invited, he couldn't well decline.
A voice in his head whispered of deceit. Calling all four Sect leaders together would leave the great Sects vulnerable. In his younger years, he might have brushed the idea aside. A sect seeking exchange with others was generally a good thing, a chance to improve trade relations und gain new knowledge. But times had changed and in seclusion so had he.
He thought about the other Sect Leaders who’d been invited and took a sip of his tea. Nie Huaisang. He wasn’t exactly excited to meet Mingjue’s brother again. He allowed himself a frown. Noone was around to see him anyway. The sting was still there, although it had softened with time. Nie Huaisang had just been the messenger. Granted, Lan Xichen would have preferred if he had delivered the message in a different way, but that didn’t change things. He could only wait and see.
Jiang Wanyin was a different story. No need to worry about hidden agendas with him. The Jiang Sect leader was straight forward towards everyone. To Lan Xichen, experienced in deciphering his own brothers miniscule facial expressions, he was an open book. He'd be on the lookout for treachery as well and voice his concerns outright. He 'd look after Sect Leader Jin as well. Lan Xichen smiled, as he thought about Jiang Wanyin's stern but exasperated expressions and Jin Lings matching temper.
'It is decided' he thought 'Our sects are strong, they can hold their own until we can get back and with five pairs of eyes, we won't miss a ruse coming our way. I'll go.'
He picked up a couple of new sheets of paper and wrote letters to his fellow sect leaders. Then, he made a list of his travel companions and the things they would need.
Their journey was rather uneventful. Lan Sizhui and Jingyi played with Jin Ling, unconcerned with his Sect leader status. Lan Xichen smiled. It was so nice to see the younger generation if not without sorrow at least not numbed by war.
“Hey, don’t steer so far from the path! Do you want to get lost?!” Ah, apparently Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin didn't necessarily agree.
Nie Huaisangs presence proved challenging. Lan Xichen couldn't really relax around him, but travel was smooth, the weather was mild and their inns comfortable.
When they arrived at the Qin Sects grounds, Xichen was impressed by what he saw. He'd expected the buildings to be flashy, for the sect to overwhelm their visitors with either servants or soldiers to show their wealth or fighting prowess respectively. But they were greeted by only the Sect Leader and his attendant and led to a room overlooking a beautiful garden.
“Jin Ling! You’re a Sect Leader now! Don’t greet them so demurely!” Jiang Wanyin scolded, once Sect Leader Qin had turned away for a moment. Lan Xichen suppressed a chuckle.
Tea was a pleasant affair. Sect Leader Qin did in fact want to discuss possible trade agreements for various spiritual tools and worldly goods. Xichen promised to send two Lan xiao so the Qin sect could see if they were of use for them. Gusu Lan would receive iron ore in return. A precious commodity.
The didn't stay overnight, leaving after dinner to start the long trip back home. About halfway back to Gusu, Sect Leader Nie left them to get back home to Quinghe. The rest of the group decided to stop for the night as well. Lan Xichen was grateful for that. His bones ached and his head felt strangely light. But this had been his first longer journey since leaving seclusion, so he was probably just out of shape. Once in his room, he tried to meditate a little to settle his mind. But it proved no use. That was when the sweating started.
Jiang Cheng sighed when he entered his room. Sect leader Qin had hardly spoken with him and instead focussed on Jin Ling and Lan Xichen. "You were glowering the entire time, Jiujiu" A- Ling had told him on the way back. Jiang Cheng had threatened to smack him upside the head of course. Talking to him like that, the child was growing up way too fast!
He fiddled with Zidian on his finger. Had he really glowered? Yunmeng could have used that iron ore as well! He left his sect for three days and had nothing to show for it! With a huff, he sat at the small desk the hotel provided and fished some letters from his Quiankun pouch. He could at least get some work done so the day wouldn't be a total waste. His thoughts kept drifting to Sect leader Qin however. The man had joked around with A-Ling the entire time, smiling at him when the newly appointed leader of the Jin sect wasn't looking. Jiang Cheng clicked his tongue. A-Ling still had a lot to learn about who to trust. He'd have to teach those juniors the difference between a trustworthy smile and a veiled threat. Maybe he should set up a lesson with Sect Leader Lan. Eventually, he became engrossed in the paperwork. The hours ticked by, the candle in the lantern by the desk slowly burning lower and lower.
The silence of the evening was suddenly interrupted by voices outside Jiang Cheng’s room." You tell him!", Lan Jingyi whisper-shouted. "He's your uncle! You should be the one to explain!" Shuffling followed. Tired of this conversation before it even began, Jiang Cheng pushed open the door. "What is it, brats?", he asked. " JiuJiu!", "Sect Leader Jiang!", both boys stumbled over themselves to reply. Jiang Cheng’s eyes widened. Jin Ling won out. "It's Sect Leader Lan! He's unwell and acting strange!"
Immediately Jiang Cheng grabbed Sandu from the ground by the desk and strode out the door, the Juniors at his heels.
One floor up, they met Lan Sizhui. The boy was distressed as well, standing in the open doorway to the Lan Sect Leaders room. "Sect Leader, don’t you think we can arrange for more tea tomorrow, ah!" A qui blast pushed Lan Sizhui past the door into the next wall.
Jiang Cheng furrowed his brows and grabbed Sandu's hilt, when Sect Leader Lan stepped through the door. Jiang Cheng had never seen the others face look that cold. He wasn't wearing his outer robe, and his temples glistened with sweat. "Sect leader," Lan Xichen said, his voice toneless "go rest. I will meet with you tomorrow."
Jiang Cheng drew Sandu. His heart was pounding. He couldn’t sense any malicious energy, but something was clearly wrong. They sized each other up for a moment. Lan Xichen didn't move. His lips drew up into a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. It sent a chill down Jiang Cheng’s spine.
"Brats, listen. Get Hangung-Jun and Wei Wuxian. Use the signal flares if you don't know where they are." He raised Sandu, aiming at Lan Xichen's chest and just as the other attempted to sidestep him, activated Zidan, slashing across Lan Xichen’s torso.
The sudden wave of qui released by the whip had Lan Xichen stumbling back into his room. Jiang Cheng quickly followed and slammed the door shut behind them. Lan Xichen slammed him into the door by his shoulders. The wood creaked and Jiang Cheng nearly lost hold of Sandu. Lan Xichen snarled at him and Jiang Cheng suppressed a shiver. A strike from Zidian sent any normal cultivator flying. He had no idea how long he could hold out against Zewu-Jun. If the person in front of him even was Zewu- Jun, that was.
Lan Xichen squeezed his shoulders, trying to push him away from the door. Jiang Cheng strengthened his stance and held his ground. There wasn't enough space to wield Zidian, so he gathered qui in his hands and pushed. Lan Xichen fell back a few steps, shot him a look full of disdain and made to pick up Shuoyue which was still resting next to the bed. Jiang Cheng quickly grabbed a silencing and a barrier talisman out of his Quiankun pouch. He’d designed the barrier talisman for the demonic cultivators he imprisoned at Lotus Pier. He just hoped they'd hold back Zewu-Jun for a while as well. At the very least they'd keep the Juniors out. He flung them onto the door and barely had enough time to block Lan Xichens first strike with Shuoyue.
"Let me go," Lan Xichen said, voice without inflection, breathing still level.
"I'm sorry, Zewu-Jun,” Jiang Cheng replied, trying for a show of respect to placate the other. "Something is wrong with you."
Lan Xichen stared at him again."Fine then, have it your way," he said, before resuming the strikes. The Lan arm strength rattled the bones in Jiang Cheng’s hand with every strike he blocked.
‘I won't attack’, he thought, ‘I can’t.’ With a sharp hiss, the blades pushed against each other. ‘Another falling out between the Jiang and the Lan Sect would be disastrous.’
Lan Xichen proved stronger and shoved Jiang Cheng away. Once again at the door, the Lan found he couldn't get past the barrier. He turned to Jiang Cheng. "Remove this," he demanded.
Jiang Cheng gasped for breath "I can't. Zewu-Jun you must rest!" Lan Xichen walked back towards him, Shuoyue in hand. Jiang Cheng braced himself.
The Juniors flinched when they heard a dull thud from behind the door. " Sizhui, what happened after we were gone?!" Jin Ling asked, kneeling next to the Lan. They had been in Jingyi's room past Lan – bedtime to chat, when they'd heard noise coming from the Lan Sect leaders’ room. They had decided to investigate, but the Sect Leader had called them in when he heard then in front of the door.
"Sizhui, Jingyi, Sect Leader Jin, what brings you here at this hour?" he had asked with a smile that seemed a little strained. "Just... just wondering, why Sect Leader isn't asleep?" Jingyi, the bravest one, had replied.
"I could ask the same of you," Sect Leader Lan had said, pstraightening out his outer robe. Jingyi ducked his head.
"Either way, I'm going to get some tea," the Sect Leader had continued.
Sizhui had furrowed his brows. "There is tea at the inn, Sect Leader. What are you wearing the outer robe for?" He had turned back to the other Juniors, but they had simply shaken their heads. They couldn't sense any malicious energy, but something clearly wasn’t right.
With an irritation in his voice the Lan disciples had never heard from their Sect Leader before he’d said "That isn't the right tea. I require tea from Sect Leader Qin."
The Juniors had looked at each other in alarm.’ Jiujiu will know how to fix this’ Jin Ling had thought, before they had made their way to his uncle.
Lan Sizhui rubbed the spot on his chest where his Sect Leaders qui blast had hit him. It still hurt. Sect Leader Lan had used much more force than necessary to push him away. Lan Jingyi put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure he didn't mean it!", Jin Ling said "Whatever is going on with him, something made him do it." At least Jin Ling hoped so.
Lan Jingyi grabbed both of them by the arm. "Come on, we shouldn't sit around,” he said. Once outside, he shot a signal flare. The blue sparks rose high into the clear sky.
"Where are Hangung-Jun and Daijiu?" Jin Ling asked.
"They should return to Gusu today. We could fly towards them," Sizhui replied.
Jin Ling shot a worried look back at the inn. "I'll stay. In case something happens."
Lan Jingyi gave him a long look "Don't go in there."
Jin Ling sputtered. "Of course I won't. And even if I did, I could handle it!"
Satisfied that he’d put some colour back in Jin Lings face, Lan Jingyi jumped on his sword and waved. Lan Sizhui followed suit, exited to see his foster parents again and hopefully put a stop to this whole affair.
Jiang Cheng hunched behind an upturned table. Purple lightning crackled around him, but that would only deter Lan Xichen for so long. His right hand hurt like hell. He was pretty sure blocking Shuoyue had damaged his bones. Lan Xichen did not hold back. No matter, qui would keep the hand functional for the time being.
He glanced over the table at Lan Xichen, trying to break through the barrier. Jiang Cheng flicked another talisman onto the wall beside him to strengthen it further. Lan Xichen didn't notice. That was his only advantage in this messed up situation so far. Lan Xichen’s usually impeccable awareness of his surroundings had been greatly reduced. He hadn't used Liebling either.
Still Jiang Cheng’s throat felt like someone held it in a vice grip. If he was forced to kill or greatly injure Zewu-Jun… images of Lan cultivators razing his home to the ground rose in his mind. He wouldn't be able to hold them off on his own. Hell, he could barely hold his own against Lan Xichen. His throat seemed to close even further.
Lan Xichen hurled another qui blast against the door. Jiang Cheng flinched. The barrier held, but it probably couldn't take much more of that. Jiang Cheng readied Zidian, banking on Lan Xichen's reduced awareness. Hoping to bind or at least numb the other, he shot out from behind the table and struck. He got Lan Xichen across the back, but Zidian didn't curl around the Sect Leader. Jiang Cheng barely managed to block Xichen’s next strike with Sandu. His qui was draining. Xichen smiled.
Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui sped through the night air. So far, they'd met no other people, let alone Lan cultivators. It was early spring; the nights were still cool and the sky was overcast. Jingyi’s anxiety made him fly faster and faster and Sizhui, seriously tired by now, had trouble keeping up. But then he saw a figure in white up ahead. "Jingyi!", he shouted since the other was bound to miss the arriving cultivator.
“Oh! Hangung-jun!" Jingyi shouted from up ahead. "Thank the heavens," he mumbled.
Suddenly a second head popped up behind Lan Wangji. Of course, Wei Wuxian was riding with him. Lan Wangji gave a hand signal and all three swords sunk down to the ground.
"Hangung- Jun! Wei quianbei!", Lan Jingyi shouted at once. “You need to come with us! Sect Leader is acting weird! He and Sect leader Jiang are fighting!”
"What!?" Wei Wuxian exclaimed. " Why? What did my shidi do?" he looked genuinely concerned. Lan Wangji frowned.
Lan Sizhui spoke up "He didn't start it. Sect Leader wasn't feeling well," Lan Wangji stepped forward and inspected a scrape on Lan Sizhui's hand. His frown deepened.
"Mn. Jingyi, alert the healers from home."
A crease between his brows betrayed his unease. Sending the Junior away on his own didn’t sit right with him. But his brother and the Jiang Sect Leader really were fighting, he’d need Wei Ying’s assistance. One of the Juniors also had to show them the way and Sizhui was too exhausted to make the trip back to Cloud Recesses alone.
"Sizhui", Wei Wuxian said, tone unusually serious "lead us to where they are."
"Yes, Wei quianbei," Lan Sizhui replied and got back on his sword. Wei Wuxian mounted Bichen again and Lan Wangji stepped in front of him. He hugged his husbands waist for a moment.
"It'll be' fine, Lan Zhan. Jingyi is a great flier. He will be home soon. They listen well to you," He broke into a grin, as he saw Wangji's frown waver. He slapped Wangji’s arms. "Right then! Let's go rescue our brothers from each other!"
Lan Xichen bashed Jiang Cheng's shoulder against the wood floor with a scowl. Jiang Cheng tried to call Sandu to him, but the sword didn't move more than a couple inches across the floor, where it had landed after Xichen’s last blow. He was running out of energy. Fighting and reinforcing the barrier took its toll. With a huff he brought his knee up to his chest instead, using his leg to combat Lan Xichen’s inhuman arm strength and push the other man off him. It worked; Jiang Ching could feel some give. The other must be running low on qui as well. Jiang Cheng pushed again and rolled to his feet.
He positioned himself between the door and the still furious Lan Sect Leader. The barrier held, but Jiang Cheng knew he wouldn't be able to reinforce it anymore. He picked up Sandu. A sword was still a sword even when low on qui. Lan Xichen paused for a moment and held a hand over his sternum, where Jiang Chang had kicked him. He felt terrible at the sight. He had tried his best not to hurt the other Sect leader. For Yunmeng for one, but also because he just didn't wish to hurt Lan Xichen. They were allies after all and Jiang Cheng admired him. He’d led them all through Sunshot Campaign and the many years of chaos that followed and through it all remained gentle and refined. A voice of reason during so many volatile cultivation conferences.
But now Lan Xichen had bloody elbows. His hair was dishevelled and the skin on his hands burned from slamming them against the barrier. There was a mad glint in his eyes.
Lan Xichen summoned Shuoyue once more and attacked. The sound of metal clashing against metal filled the room, but Jiang Cheng only lasted for one more blow. His hand spasmed and Sandu fell to the floor. Lan Xichen advanced with Shuoyue in his hand, pushing Jiang Cheng back step by step until his back hit the wall. He raised his hands, wondering if whatever had taken hold of Lan Xichen would push him to kill. What a sad death, killed by an old ally out of his mind.
‘A-Ling…’
His eyes glazed over. He hoped his nephew had left with the others and wouldn't be the one to find him.
Lan Xichen’s dark eyes bored into his. Shuoyue shone in his hand. He tilted his head as if searching for something in Jiang Cheng’s expression.
"Zewu-Jun," Jiang Cheng whispered. He wouldn't plead. If he had to die, he could at least do so with dignity.
Suddenly Shuoyue clattered to the ground and for a moment Jiang Cheng thought the nightmare was over. Then, Lan Xichen grabbed the front of his robes dragged him down the wall. He scrambled and tried to resist, but Xichen was dead weight. He tore the front of Jiang Cheng’s robes, the sleeves falling lower on his shoulders. Jiang Cheng had to yield eventually and fell to his knees. His heart beat so fast he felt it in his throat.
He tried to bring his arms up and push Lan Xichen off him, but the Lan suddenly buried his head his head in the crook of Jiang Cheng’s neck. Lan Xichen’s shoulder slumped; he was shaking. Hot breaths puffed against his shoulder. Up close, Jiang Cheng could feel the others qui flow slowing down, mellowing out. Whatever had taken hold of him, seemed to be gone, at least for now. Lan Xichen’s hair tickled his on his cheek. The others hand brushing loosely against his. He felt almost buried under the others warmth and then there was a faint brush of warm lips against his collar bone.
He held his breath.
Lan Xichen crumpled in on himself and fell backwards. Jiang Cheng caught him before his head could hit the floor and laid him down. Blood was rushing in his ears. Lan Xichen's eyes were closed but he was breathing. It was over.
Trembling from exhaustion and confusion, he pulled a spirit binding cord from his quiankun pouch and began wrapping it around the Lan Sect Leader's limp wrists. Behind them the barrier fizzled out.
Once it was gone. The door flew open, accompanied by a loud "Jiang Cheeeng!"
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji stopped on the threshold. The guestroom was completely trashed. Bits of broken furniture lay strewn about, along with shards of vases, and bowls. Down and straw covered the area around the bed. Gouges from qui blasts scarred the walls. Only one lamp was still burning, the others lay shattered among the rubble.
In between the chaos, huddled against a wall, sat the Jiang Sect Leader, beat up, with torn robes, shaking like a leaf. Next to him the Lan Sect Leader, looking a little better but still worse for wear, with tied hands.
Lan Wangji caught himself first. He went to his brother and set two fingers on his bound wrists, checking his qui flow. Wei Wuxian closed the door and placed his own barrier talisman onto the wood, once more sealing the room from entry and eaves dropping. Jiang Cheng relaxed a little at that and Wei Wuxian smiled. Lan Wangji furrowed his brows the tiniest bit and pulled his fingers back. "Xiongzhang is stable," he said, "his qui is drained. He fought something within," he looked at Jiang Cheng. "I suspect he was possessed or poisoned."
Before Jiang Cheng could reply, a commotion started in front of the room. At Lan Wangji’s nod, Wei Wuxian released his barrier, and the door burst open once again. With a loud, "Jiujiu!" Jiu Ling rushed to Jiang Cheng's side, followed by the Lan Sizhui and a couple Lan healers. Too tired to scold and with the fear from earlier still on his mind, he only grunted, then raised an arm to squeeze his nephew against his side. Jin Ling froze for a moment but then relaxed into the side hug.
The next couple of hours passed in a blur. Jiang Cheng remembered getting examined by the healers, helped onto a sword, flown the rest of the way to Gusu barely able to stay awake and then collapsing onto a bed somewhere.
____
When Jiang Cheng woke up, sunlight streamed through large open windows into the room. The floor and all the other surfaces were impeccably clean. Sheer curtains billowed around the room. The bed he laid on was made from dark wood, carved with simple yet elegant designs. He was still in Cloud Recesses. His qui was regenerating slowly. His hand hurt. So did his shoulder. The rest of his body protested, as he tried to sit up.
It had been a long time, since he had been so utterly beaten in a fight. It hurt worse than his shoulder or his hand. Sure, Lan Xichen hadn’t been himself last night, but it was still a fight between sect leaders. If he wanted to, surely, he could attack Lotus pier for Jiang Cheng’s insolence.
‘Too Hot-headed! You should have checked for poison before attacking. Idiot!’
Their barriers around Lotus pier were stronger than the ones created by his talismans, but they functioned the same way. He'd have to find a way to improve them. He’d have to improve his own skills as well. He knew, it wasn’t likely that the Lans would really attack. They were still allies. But he’d lost. And there were other cultivators out there, he’d lose to as well.
A familiar fear welled up in him All his life he’d been working to improve his cultivation. He'd worked through all the Jiang Sects cultivation manuals applicable to him, tried his hardest to realize their lessons, but progress was slow. Most of the time it didn’t happen at all. He stared at his bandaged hand. Deep down, he knew why. The books were written for better cultivators. Ones with stronger disposition. He squeezed his hands into fists, ignoring the pain that shot up his arm.
He pushed the thought back down. Fear wouldn’t help the Jiang Sect. He wasn’t who he was supposed to be, but he was all the Jiang Sect had for now. He’d just have to try harder. With arching muscles, he got up. Next to a privacy screen on a footstool laid Sandu, his torn, stained robes and his other belongings. Neatly folded, of course. He padded over on bare feet and pulled a clean set of robes from his pouch.
He'd just put them on, when someone knocked on the door.
"Sect leader Jiang, may I come in?" Sect leader Lan asked. Jiang Cheng grunted in approval. The Sect leader entered, carrying a tray of tea and soup. He looked pale. His robes and hair were as neat as ever and the burns on his hands had already healed, but the warmth hadn't returned to his eyes. In fact, he looked quite distraught.
He set the tray on the low table across from the bed, kneeled in front of Jiang Cheng and bowed his head. "I am deeply sorry for my conduct towards you yesterday. I will accept any punishment you and the Jiang Sect see fit," he murmured.
The sight turned Jiang Cheng’s stomach. The great Zewu-Jun kneeling remorsefully at Jiang Cheng’s feet. It looked so utterly wrong, he couldn’t take it.
"Get up!" he shouted.
Lan Xichen did as he was told. Jiang Cheng stared at him with anger, confusion and a hint of fear in his eyes. Lan Xichen wanted to drop back down to the floor in shame.
"What happened to you, Zewu-jun?" Jiang Cheng asked.
Lan Xichen began to explain "The healers aren't entirely sure. As you well know, us Lans have a low tolerance for alcohol."
Jiang Cheng snorted.
Lan Xichen continued "We suspect the tea was laced with something similar, but stronger. A substance that clouds the senses and makes one crave more. I did not cope well with it. Even now the effects still linger somewhat."
"Then why are you up?!"
Lan Xichen gave him a sad smile "I could ask the same of you. I caused you great injury."
Jiang Cheng’s expression immediately became guarded. It sent a jolt through Lan Xichen. But he couldn't expect anything different. While night hunting with other sects and competitions where common, Sect leaders rarely sparred one on one outside of actual combat. Their differences in ability were kept secret on purpose. It was one of many ways to keep the peace. But between the Lan and the Jiang Sect the veil had been lifted last night.
"Sect leader Jiang, I… I would never willingly attack you."
An uncomfortable silence settled on top of them as Jiang Wanyin’s eyes bored into his. Neither moved an inch. Lan Xichen wanted to. He wanted to show that he’d never meant any harm, but he didn’t know how to ease the Jiang Sect Leaders worry. Gods if only he’d been more cautious!
Eventually Jiang Wanyin grit his teeth and spat out: "Don't make me rely on your word alone! Instruct me! Let me even the field!”
Lan Xichen blinked. It took a moment but then be understood. He inclined his head once more.
"Very well. If you'd like, we can begin tomorrow."
Jiang Cheng gave a curt nod "I would."
Once Lan Xichen had left the room, Jiang Cheng collapsed onto the footstool and buried his face in his hands. He took heaving breaths, trying to calm down.
His mother would have scoffed at the notion of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect leader training with another. The Jiang Sect deserved a sect leader who didn't need assistance. Who was competent through and through. But by fate Yunmeng Jiang had gotten him. All he could do was make the best of it. These decisions never became any easier. He could only hope he'd chosen well this time.
Outside the healing quarters stood Lan Quiren and Lan Wangji, waiting in silence. "Xichen?" Lan Quiren asked.
"He has asked that we improve our cultivation together," Lan Xichen replied softly. He could still see Jiang Cheng’s scared expression from last night before his inner eye, standing with his back towards the wall among the rubble, Hands raised as a storm raged within Lan Xichen. To do this much damage and yet not lose the Jiang Sect leaders trust was… astounding. Almost comforting.
Lan Quiren scoffed. "You got off easy. Repay him well."
"Yes, Shufu," Lan Xichen said.
Lan Wangji had visibly relaxed at the news. "Good luck, Xiongzhang." he said and walked towards the Jingshi before Lan Quiren could reprimand him to be more courteous.
"Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian shouted as Lan Wangji neared the Jingshi. "How is Jiang Cheng?" he asked and ran towards his husband.
"Better. Xiongzhang will train with him for a while," Lan Wangji replied. Wei Wuxian frowned at that.
"Should I go talk to him?" he asked his husband, who pulled into a tight hug.
"I'm not asking you to do anything. I'm just informing you."
Wei Wuxian relaxed into the hug. "Thank you," he murmured.
"Mn," Lan Wangji replied, stroking Wei Wuxian’s back.
Physically, Jiang Cheng felt much better the next morning. A lot of his qui had regenerated and his body was fast at work healing his injuries.
He meat Lan Xichen in a little courtyard behind the Hanshi. They sat across from each other each other on a porch, ready for a shared meditation session to assess Jiang Cheng’s abilities.
“May I have you hand?” Lan Xichen requested.
Jiang Cheng hesitated. A primal part of him worried Lan Xichen would lose control again. But this was necessary. If there was one person who could help him improve, it would be the best cultivator of his generation, Lan Xichen.
He reached over and Lan Xichen took his hand. He held it softly, careful not aggravate his injuries. Qui flowed between them.
The sounds of laughing Lan disciples drifted past, wind rushed through the spring foliage on the trees, setting of a chime somewhere. Lan Xichen's hand felt warm in his. His qui flow reminded him of a warm summer wind. Gentle now, so different from two nights ago. But traces of that night were still there. Lan Xichen’s qui wasn't at full strength either. Sometimes its flow stuttered.
When their session was over, Lan Xichen smiled at him. "Sect Leader Jiang’s cultivation base is impressive.”
Jiang Cheng glared at him. How could he say something like that, after he’d beaten him so easily?
"It’s not enough!”
Lan Xichen hummed. He didn’t agree. Jiang Wanyin's qui felt like a current. Powerfully focused, yet liquid in the way it moulded itself around his hand. But Jiang Wanyin's answer didn’t really surprise him. He'd seen Jiang Wanyin break down at Guanyin temple. Sometimes in seclusion, when that night haunted him once again, his mind had drifted to Sect Leader Jiang, wondered how the other handled the revelations, how life would be like without a core. But he wasn’t sure this was about the core at all.
"I must admit, I'm at a loss on what to teach you. Your abilities are far above those of a an average disciple after all. Excuse the question, but was there a change in your abilities after that night?”
Jiang Wanyin spent a moment straightening out imaginary creases in his robes.
“It's not just the core...transfer” his shoulders were locked up now. Lan Xichen waited a moment to see if Jiang Wanyin would reveal any more information, but none came. The other sect leader stared at him as if daring him to ask but didn't speak any more.
Lan Xichen decided to leave it at that. No need to push past walls clearly build for a reason, especially on ground as shaky as theirs.
"The library contains information on advanced techniques as well. We can start there." he said instead and got to his feet. Jiang Wanyin gave a short nod and followed him.
Their research in the library turned up a couple of techniques Jiang Cheng wanted to practice. They also decided that Jiang Cheng would mostly follow Lan Xichen’s daily cultivation regimen and see if he could increase his skills that way.
They finished off the afternoon doing paperwork, sitting together in the Hanshi, sipping tea. They still had sects to run after all. While writing letters and reviewing proposals, every so often, Jiang Cheng felt remnants of Lan Xichen’s qui across his hand. Like warm summer wind.
"Jiujiu!" Jiu Ling shouted from the dining hall, before running at Jiang Cheng full speed and tackle hugging him. "Jin Ling!", Jiang Cheng grumbled "no running!" "But Jiujiu, I haven't seen you since that night!"
Jiang Cheng startled. True enough, he'd been so occupied with trying to fix things with the Lans, he hadn't checked on Jin Ling. He gave his nephew a once over. He looked well rested, and his cheeks were a rosy red. He'd probably been playing around with his Lan disciple friends all day. A -Ling had friends now. Huh.
He squeezed A-Lings shoulders and asked "You have been playing with the Lans?" It came out harsher than intended.
Jin Ling stepped away and rolled his eyes, "I'll go back to Koi tower tomorrow. They don't expect me back already anyway. Also, you're still here as well! Really, I'm just doing as you do!"
Before Jiang Cheng could reply to that, Jin Ling had already ran back into the dining hall, rules be dammed. Lan Xichen came forward from where he stood.
"They make a good team, him, Sizhui and Jingyi. You raised him well," he said.
La Xichen likely simply spoke out of his usual kindness. But it still warmed Jiang Cheng. He could only do so much for Jin Ling, but at least a few others finally recognized his nephew’s competence.
Lan Xichen’s face however had fallen. It wasn't hard to imagine what or rather who Lan Xichen was thinking about. He wanted to say something, but Jiang Cheng knew from personal experience, nothing he said would really help. So, he just stood and stared until Lan Xichen sighed quietly. They walked to the dinner hall in silence.
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji entered shortly after. Wei Wuxian hung laughing on his husbands arm and Lan Wangji couldn't take his eyes of him. Jiang Cheng greeted them, together with the others. They looked... happy together, Jiang Cheng thought. It was less painful than the last few times Jiang Cheng had seen the two together.
He had meant it when he gave Chenqin back to his brother that cursed night at the temple. He didn't want to hold Wei Wuxian back. Although he doubted there was space for him, wherever his brother was heading.
"Time is up.", Lan Xichen said... Switch arms please, Sect Leader Jiang."
They were doing one-handed handstands after meditation today. Jiang Cheng switched the arm he was holding himself up with and felt how the flow of his qui adapted to accommodate the new pose. He frowned. In quiet moments like these it simply felt foreign sometimes. He swallowed the feeling down and tried to distract himself with his surroundings. It couldn’t be helped anyway.
The birds, the rustling wind, the greens of newly grown leaves. The Lans had been as hospitable as always. He resided in the guest house now. So far, no harm had come to the alliance between Lan and Jiang Sect. Maybe he’d chosen right for once.
He took in Lan Xichen’s serene expression. It was odd to see it upside down, but his face had some colour again and he didn’t seem as morose anymore. Jiang Cheng listened to the others breath for a moment and his gaze was drawn to the other’s plush lips. Immediately, he was reminded of the feel of them on his collar bone. Heat bloomed on his cheeks, and he quickly looked down, so Lan Xichen wouldn’t see them turn red.
Lan Xichen watched Jiang Wanyin's face cycle through five different emotions during the arm switch. It was amusing and somehow relaxing. After the taxing past couple of days, it was good to see other emotions on the man’s face than anger, fear and shame. Although he wasn't sure what had caused the flash of embarrassment when Jiang Wanyin looked up at him. Was he worried about his posture? It was fine. Not as fine-tuned as a Lan's would be after years of practicing handstands but it served its purpose. Lan Xichen breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly. Jiang Wanyin did the same although his breath came out a little shaky. Not quite relaxed yet it seemed. Well, that would come with time.
One afternoon, where they were once again working together in the Hanshi. Lan Xichen startled, when he came across the agreement, he'd made with sect leader Qin in his pile of documents to work through. Jiang Wanyin noticed and looked up from his own papers with a "hm?"
"Ah... "Lan Xichen replied " just my order of the Xiao for Sect leader Qin. I’d prepared it before we left Qin manor, but I haven’t sent it to our instrument maker."
Jiang Wanyin scoffed. “You should send the Xiao poisoned."
Lan Xichen laughed “That would be against the rules."
Suddenly a tremor set into his shoulders and his palms went clammy. "Ma... Maybe I should ask for some of that tea in return, to study it."
Jiang Wanyin’s head flew up and Lan Xichen was caught in the others icy glare. "No," the Jiang Sect leader said. A clear warning.
Lan Xichen's tremor grew worse, his grip on the bush tightened.
Quickly, Jiang Wanyin laid a hand over his and the cool strong current of his qui smoothed over Lan Xichen's agitated mind. The strange taste of the tea left his tongue, the tension left his muscles. Both men exhaled with a relieved sigh.
Lan Xichen dropped his head. "I guess it is not entirely over after all." Guilt washed over him. Just why hadn’t he sensed Sect Leader Qin’s intentions?
"Hey, hey!" Jiang Wanyin said, lightly slapping the back of his hand. “It's poison. None of us detected it! You were powerless against it! Ah! I mean you weren’t responsible for it!"
Lan Xichen couldn’t help but chuckle a little. The clumsy attempt at comfort, combined with the earnest look in the others dark eyes was endearing. So earnest. It genuinely helped settle his mind a little.
Embarrassed, Jiang Wanyin dropped his gaze and began to pull his hand away. Lan Xichen caught it and squeezed gently. “Thank you. You are dealing with all this exceptionally well.”
Jiang Wanyin looked up at the praise. "You should send the Xiao..." he said "I’m sure Sect leader Qin believes we’re out here mauling each other. Why else would he poison only one of us five, if not to incite conflict between the Sects. Let’s see how he reacts, when his offer goes through instead.”
Lan Xichen nodded slowly "That makes a lot of sense. Good idea, Sect leader Jiang."
Jiang Cheng’s head still swum from the afternoon. He hated to admit it, but part of him was scared that the compulsion caused by the poison hadn’t entirely disappeared yet. Another part of him was reeling from the Lan Sect leader’s kind words. He worked alone most of the time. Even when he collaborated with other Sects, no one ever told him when he was doing well. A good plan was a good plan if all his disciples made it back alive.
‘Good idea, Sect leader Jiang’
Stuck in thought, he didn't notice Wei Wuxian entering the courtyard of the guest house until they stood across from each other.
Wei Wuxian smiled at him.
Jiang Cheng hated that he couldn't tell anymore if that smile was a real one or a defence.
His brother took a step closer. “Jiang Cheng," he said. "It is good to see you recover."
Jiang Cheng nodded, a little dumb founded. Since Guanyin Temple, there was a new, more honest side to his brother, that sometimes caught him of guard.
"You too", he replied. "You seem happy."
Wei Wuxian giggled "The quiet life here suits me!"
Jiang Cheng scoffed at that. Apparently, it was the right thing to do, because Wei Wuxian’s smile grew into a grin, and he crossed the clearing to stand beside him.
“It's good you stayed too," he said. “When Xichen-ge woke up from that night, we all worried he'd go back into seclusion."
Why would he do that? Him and Lan Xichen weren’t… sworn brothers. Lan Xichen had no reason to punish himself for beating to him. He was reminded of the Lan Sect Leader on his knees and shook his head.
"He said something similar earlier. As if he could control who poisons him. Stupid Lans."
Wei Wuxian burst out laughed at that. It eased the knot in Jiang Cheng’s stomach a little. Talking about others proved much easier than talking about what was going on between the two of them.
"You've taken a liking to Xichen-ge though!", Wei Wuxian teased. Jiang Cheng froze. He had, hadn’t he? Thinking about the Lan Sect leaders praise long after their conversation was over…Unless Wei wuxia was talking about the Ki… the neck leaning? But he hadn’t been around to see it, right?
"Well, you are staring at him like he’s a mooncake at dinner every evening."
Zidian sparked and Wei Wuxian took a step back at once. "Wei Wuxian," Jiang Cheng hissed "If you speak to him of this, I'll..."
"Who?" Lan Xichen asked, as he stepped onto the courtyard. He frowned. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng turned away from each other to greet him.
"Ah, Lan Zhan waits for me. I must get going," Wei Wuxian said and ran down the path leading back to the Jingshi. Halfway down the path he turned back with a bright smile to wave goodbye. Lan Xichen smiled and waved back, then turned expectantly to the still scowling Jiang Cheng.
"He...He..."
"doesn’t know when to drop the joke, sometimes?"
"Yes... No! Recently he does, but then sometimes not, but then he can actually say the things, I...!" frustrated, Jiang Cheng buried his face in his hands.
Lan Xichen’s hand settled on his shoulder. It was warm, comforting.
"It's admirable that you're trying to find new ground together," Lan Xichen said. "I also find getting to know him again takes time."
Jiang Cheng’s shoulders slumped. He didn’t know if he should be relieved someone shared his frustrations or worried that he didn’t want Xichen’s hand to move from his shoulder.
_______
A couple of days later they set out for a training session on the wide sparring field in the middle of Cloud Recesses. Lan Xichen wanted to see how Jiang Cheng’s qui flowed, when using Zidian. So far, he was relatively sure that there wasn't anything wrong with the way Jiang Wanyin cultivated and used his qui. He did fine in their meditation and training sessions, even if he was never quite satisfied with his results. Lan Xichen suspected his own increased strength that night had been simply due to the tea lowering his inhibitions, not some conscious effort, something that would also happen to Jiang Wanyin - given the right conditions. But every time he'd try and tell Jiang Wanyin as much, the other sect leader would scowl and turn away.
When Lan Xichen brought up the idea of looking into his use of Zidian, Jiang Wanyin had been wary at first, understandably so. A spiritual weapon was a very personal thing. He’d be wary of someone checking how exactly he used Liebing as well. And even though they worked decently well together, some suspicion remained on Jiang Wanyin’s part. Lan Xichen could understand, but he still wished that night hadn’t happened at all. Well, maybe not at all, because then he wouldn’t have gotten the companionship he had now, just differently. That they’d maybe had tea together. Decided to work together on better terms.
Either way, Jiang Wanyin had agreed eventually. That was something Lan Xichen was very impressed with. The Jiang Sect leader seemed by nature to be a cautious, private person. Yet time and time again he’d push through his initial reservations for the sake of cultivation, but also to strengthen their bond again. He was committed and Lan Xichen grew a deep appreciation for that.
And so, he now stood on the training ground behind Jiang Wanyin, one hand set between the others shoulder blades, feeling the current of qui flow beneath his fingertips while Zidian sizzled and crackled in Jiang Wanyin’s hand.
"Alright," Lan Xichen said. "Go ahead."
Jiang Wanyin turned away from Lan Xichen swung the whip in a wide arch and let it snap onto the ground, leaving it smoking. Lightening arched through in the air.
The Jiang Sect Leader went through his forms with grace born from experience. No movement wasted, no step out of place. Lightning sizzled across his skin and clothes, the same current of qui Lan Xichen had felt moments ago now brightly shining. For a moment Lan Xichen forgot he was supposed to check Jiang Wanyin’s movements for mistakes and just stared in wonder. It was simply
"stunning."
"Ah?" Jiang Wanyin asked, stumbling to a halt mid turn.
Lan Xichen quickly caught on and replied "Beautiful work, Sect Leader Jiang!"
The other grew flustered. A delightful discovery. The Jiang Sect Leader’s reactions to positive comments were just as intense and genuine as the ones to preposterous or rude ones. Lan Xichen enjoyed pulling these new reactions from his companion. He only wished the other wouldn’t brush off his compliments every time.
Jiang Wanyin took up his forms again. Once more purple robes whipped through the air and as Lan Xichen looked on, a realization dawned on him. He didn't just enjoy the company or how they shared the burden of paperwork or how fascinating and amusing Jiang Wanyin’s reactions were. He liked Jiang Wanyin.
Over the past few weeks, the Jiang Sect Leader had found his way into a place in Lan Xichen’s heart that so far had only been occupied by precious few and unbeknownst to either of them, made himself comfortable.
He let out a little "Oh"
"Huh?" Jiang Wanyin asked, “Did you notice something off?"
"Ah, no. Your forms look excellent and Zidian is a magnificent weapon. I doubt the cause of your troubles lies with this."
Jiang Wanyin’s eyes widened at first, then he dropped his head, murmuring something towards the ground. The flush on his cheeks deepened. Truly, delightful.
That afternoon, another letter arrived from the Qin sect with the correspondence delivered by a courier from Lotus Pier. Dealing with correspondence this way was horribly inefficient, but Jiang Cheng hoped his improvement in terms of abilities would help the Jiang Sect enough in the long run to justify the temporary setback.
So far, he hadn't improved much. Sometimes when he practiced with Lan Xichen on the training ground, the movements felt a little easier than usual. Especially after Lan Xichen encouraged him. But he was probably just too distracted to notice his mistakes.
The letter held an offer from the Qin sect to the Jiang Sect for iron ore in exchange for a portion of the arrow heads the Jiang blacksmiths would forge from the ore. In addition to payment of course. Jiang Cheng clicked his tongue. Why offer the ore now?
Lan Xichen leaned over their shared desk, "So he will not let it go, huh?" There was a hint of anger in his voice. But the shaking did not return. It seemed the last traces of the Qins poison had left him. Jiang Cheng dipped his brush into the ink for his reply.
"Let him think he has a chance," he grumbled. 'The Jiang Sect will gladly accept your offer, in return for twenty bales of Yunmeng Silk per shipment. No Arrow heads will be part of the exchange'
He signed with decisive, firm brushstrokes and sealed the letter. Demanding weapons from a major sect he had no alliance with! Clearly Sect leader Qin possessed none of Nie Huaisang’s cunning, but all of late Jin Guangshan’s gall. He scoffed and threw the letter onto the "to send" pile. When he looked up, he was faced with Lan Xichen’s warm smile.
"I'm not complaining, but you seem in rather high spirits today. How come?"
Lan Xichen chuckled and leaned forward further, "Nothing, I enjoy seeing Sect leader Jiang’s spirit return."
Jiang Cheng scoffed "must be disappointing to the Lans who taught me in youth"
Lan Xichen hummed. "Serenity is a great virtue, but so are decisive action and honesty. Also, I feel I'm currently not in a position to lecture you on control." His smile turned wry. Jiang Cheng furrowed his brow, worried the other would sink into self-deprecation again, but Lan Xichen remained light-hearted.
"Say, we spent so much time together now, won't you agree to a less formal manner of address?"
His face grew serious for a moment and locked eyes with Jiang Cheng, who swallowed. Recently he’d noticed just how captivating Lan Xichen’s dark eyes were. They were so deep. Anyone in the whole cultivation would sit up to listen once those eyes were looking at them, Jiang Cheng was sure.
"Of course! If L... Lan Xichen wishes to, I have no reason to oppose."
The smile was back in its full, radiant force. "Well then Wanyin, Let's finish here quickly, so we can head to dinner and check in with the others."
Jiang Cheng could only nod in response.
The next evening Jin Ling returned to Cloud Recesses to "strengthen sect relations." Read: check in on his Jiujiu, his Daijiu and his friends.
With two Sect Leaders present, the busy summer season approaching and no emergencies to take care of, the Lan elders decided a banquet should be held. Not a formal family banquet, but one for all disciples to join in. Jiang Cheng suspected it still wouldn’t exactly become a rambunctious celebration and was proven right. Dinner was still taken at separate desks and Lan Xichen held a little speech at the end, informing the Sect about recent matters, but unlike the usual dinners, where everyone left the hall quickly after it was over, this night, the Lan disciples stayed in the hall to chat.
It was one of the first warmer nights of spring and the last rays of sunlight streamed through the open windows. Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng sat together for dinner, but now that it was over, Jin Ling’s friends, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji came over to them. Soon, they’d build a semi-circle of seating cushions and Wei Wuxian had procured a bottle of wine from somewhere. He filled cups for both Jiang Cheng and himself.
The Juniors quickly began to chat about their latest night hunt.
“I sensed the fierce corps long before we were even on the mountain!” Jingyi boasted.
“You smelled some dog poop on your shoes maybe! That’s all you ‘sensed’!” Jin Ling replied
Jiang Cheng smiled a little watching them. Wei Wuxian noticed.
"Is Xichen-ge mellowing you out, Jiang Cheng or is it the wine?"
Jiang Cheng took a long sip from his cup in response, glaring at Wei Wuxian across the rim.
"Well, we have enough of that, right Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian replied, leaning back against his husband, and wrapping a strand of the others hair around his finger.
"Mh," Lan Wangji hummed, staring down at his husband.
Lan Wangji looked back up and turned to the Jiang Sect Leader. In his usual calm voice, he said "Xiongzhang says he enjoys the company."
Jiang Cheng swallowed. Was that a remark or an accusation? Unsure, he took another sip of his wine, hoping it would reveal to him how one had to deal with their estranged brother’s husband, when Wei Wuxian giggled and pulled Lan Wangji's face back down gently by the strand of hair still wrapped around his finger "Ah Lan Zhan, don't give them your blessing so quickly!"
So, it was approval then? Jiang Ching blinked at his wine. It rippled in response. How unexpected.
"You can't just add the word "large" to a heating talisman to make it explode! That wouldn't work!" Jin Ling shrieked at a very smug looking Lan Jingyi. Before Jiang Cheng could reprimand Jin Ling regarding the noise level, Wei Wuxian sat up "Explosions?”
Lan Wangji seemed entirely unbothered by the others noisiness and took a sip of his tea. Jiang Cheng stared in awe (and suspicion) at the changed man in front of him.
Suddenly a flute tune mixed in with the quiet conversations held across the hall. Looking up, he spotted Lan Xichen sitting at a low desk a little away from the mingling disciples, playing Liebing. The tune weaved in with the rustling leaves and chirping of birds coming in from the open windows and doors. As far as Jiang Cheng could tell, it was just a regular musical piece, not infused with qui, but that did not detract from its beauty.
He watched Lan Xichen’s fingers dance across Liebing, the way he paused sometimes to take in little breaths and continue the tune. Maybe it was the wine, but Jiang Cheng felt strangely warm. Confused that everyone in the hall kept chatting away despite their Sect Leader playing music for them, he excused himself from the group and made his way over to Lan Xichen. Quietly, he sat down on a cushion next to him.
When the tune came to an end, Lan Xichen lowered Liebing.
“How come they can’t talk when eating, but they can while you’re playing?” Jiang Cheng asked.
Lan Xichen laughed quietly. “If you weren’t allowed to talk in Cloud Recesses, while someone was playing an instrument, we wouldn’t be allowed to talk at all. These pieces are just for entertainment. They’re meant for occasions like these.”
It was still confusing. How could such a beautiful melody be meant only as ambiance?
“I liked it,” Jiang Cheng said “It fit reminds me of spring. It fits the noises outside well.”
Lan Xichen beamed at him. “Would you like to hear more?”
Jiang Cheng nodded and settled more comfortably onto his cushion. Lan Xichen played another piece, this one perhaps a little softer than the last one. It carried Jiang Cheng away, across the mountaintops and up into the clouds. He saw the vast Gusu forests before his inner eye, meadows and springs, bathed in the sunlight of late summer. Without noticing, he had propped his head onto his hand and closed his eyes.
The next piece reminded him of Lotus Pier. The waves of the lake. The rain dancing on buds of new lotus blooms. Like the rain drops dissipating into the lake, the sound seemed to dissipate his worries. The warm feeling he’d felt from the first song, spread through his body. The conversations on the other side of the partition blurred into a pleasant hum. The world seemed to shrink down, until it was only him, Lan Xichen and the music. Lan Xichen played on, carrying him further and further away.
When Lan Xichen finished the piece, Wanyin was fast asleep. His head rested on folded arms, his expression soft and calm in his sleep. Lan Xichen’s gaze slid across the others softened features. Lan Xichen was struck by how young Wanyin looked. Unburdened, at peace for one. ‘I wish I could see him like this more often’ Lan Xichen thought ‘Rest well, Wanyin.’
Time seemed to slow down, the sun setting behind the mountain tops in the distance. Wanyin didn’t wake up and Xichen sat by his side for the rest of the evening, keeping watch and occasionally playing another quiet piece for him.
Eventually, the evening grew long, and the others prepared to head to their rooms for the night. Jin Ling spotted Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng and whispered, "Jiujiu"
Wei Wuxian snickered quietly and grabbed Wangji’s hand. “Good job, Xichen-ge, Jiang Chen rarely naps with others around.” He pulled Wangji out of the courtyard, who followed him with a questioning "hm?"
The ruckus was enough to wake Wanyin. He shot up and turned this way and that, searching for the others.
"They've headed to bed already", Lan Xichen said quietly.
Wanyin frowned “I missed your playing!”
Lan Xichen smiled “you didn’t. You listened well, the entire time.”
He wasn’t sure what Xichen meant, but he couldn’t well argue with that, so Jiang Cheng let himself be pulled up by Lan Xichen and the two strolled towards their quarters until they reached a clearing where the paths to the Hanshi and the guest house diverged.
Wanyin stopped. Lan Xichen was expecting a quick 'good night', but from the way Wanyin shifted, it was obvious something was on his mind. "Xichen", he said finally, earnest and quiet.
"I’ve been thinking. That night, you… you leaned on me.” he took a step forward.
The question was written all over his face.
‘Why?’
So Xichen took a deep breath. The issue had loomed in the back of his mind ever since that night. Wanyin deserved answers, but Xichen wasn't sure he could provide them.
“The urge to get more of that tea was strong. I didn’t want to want it, but I did. It was horrible hurting Sizhui, Hurting you. But no matter how hard I tried; I couldn’t stop.”
He took a shaky breath. Wanyin came even closer and opened his mouth, no doubt to tell him that it was fine, that he shouldn't speak about it anymore, but Xichen raised his hand to cut him off.
"The lower my energy ran, the stronger the compulsion got. All I could do, was hope I’d run out of enough qui that I wouldn’t be able to obtain my craving. Hope you’d win our fight. And then, when it happened, when I was too exhausted to stand, you were still there. I was in shameful condition", he couldn't help his voice dropping to a whisper.
"I simply sought out what felt safe, what felt good, before my energy ran out."
Wanyin stared at him with wide eyes.
Lan Xichen’s heart sank. This conversation was necessary, he knew. But that made it no less difficult. He remembered Wanyin’s warm skin under his lips. The feeling of utter exhaustion after fighting with the other on the outside and against the painful demands of his mind on the inside. The bone deep relief when he got to fall against a warm, sturdy frame, sure that he wouldn’t hurt anyone anymore, that Wanyin would win. He didn’t know what made him kiss Wanyin’s skin. Maybe it was his warmth, his smell, maybe it was Xichen was seeking comfort, maybe his gratitude demanded he express it. Probably it was all three.
But for Wanyin it must have been simply frightening.
"I'm sorry," he said."I was selfish."
Suddenly he felt very stupid. How could he expect them to grow close after something this?
Wanyin interrupted him with a click of his tongue "...Nonsense. You were out of your mind. We both know it. I can suffer a fight and a hug, Lan Xichen."
He smiled at Lan Xichen. Barely there and barely visible in the dark, but still unmistakable.
Then, he caught himself, inclined his head shakily, said: "Good night, Lan Xichen" and stalked off towards his rooms before Xichen could say anything else.
_______
The next morning Jiang Cheng was hiding from breakfast in a garden behind the guesthouse. He stood on a small bridge and gripped onto the railing, staring at the creek beneath him.
Last night he'd felt almost giddy at Lan Xichen's explanation. To think Lan Xichen had thought he’d won that fight! Considered him reliable after that incredibly disgraceful fight. Considered him safe. What an incredible feeling. Sure, his disciples also relied on him, but that was because of his position. They relied on Sandu Shengshou, on Sect Leader Jiang. Not on Jiang Cheng.
But by the light of day, he didn't know how to move forward from this. He could tell something between the two of them had shifted over the last couple of weeks. That despite his suspicions, his admiration for Lan Xichen had deepened considerably. Lan Xichen’s kind words had his head spinning. The way the other held space for him and picked up on what he couldn't express with words, made him feel welcome in a way nothing else had, at least since his sister had passed. He tried to remind himself of the potential threat the Lans presented to Yunmeng Jiang. But his mind wouldn't conjure up Lan Xichen wreaking havoc anymore. It got stuck on dazzling smiles, graceful hands, lips on Liebing and words of gentle encouragement
‘Good Idea Sect leader Jiang’, ‘beautiful work Sect leader Jiang!’, ‘you listened well, the entire evening.’
He swallowed and kicked a stray pebble away with his foot. He'd fancied people before, so he did recognize what was happening. But between Sunshot, loosing Yanli and Wei Wuxian as well as raising Jin Ling and the rebuilding efforts, it had happened rarely, and the feelings had quickly fizzled out. He couldn't really bring himself to engage in the game of back and forth, the niceties and gentle banter that other couples formed their bonds out of, something which Wei Wuxian had happily teased him about in their youth, and on the few occasions he'd met with potential partners, his mind had been elsewhere.
He begrudgingly admitted that a lot of the problems that had occupied his mind in the past had been somewhat resolved. But that didn't mean he'd have to become sweet on Lan Xichen of all people!
He wished his sister were here. She'd be able to untangle this mess, surely. Tell him how to move forward.
"Jiang Cheng?"
No! That was not who he needed right now!
But inevitably, Wei Wuxian came closer on the path towards the bushes Jiang Cheng had sought solace behind.
"Do you want to see the rabbits? I was going to meet Lan Zhan there."
"No!" Jiang Chang replied.
Unfortunately, Wei Wuxians grin only grew wider at that "So you really are hiding from Xichen-ge then."
Jiang Cheng bristled. "Go get lost among the damn rabbits," he growled.
But Wei Wuxian caught the genuine frustration in his shidi' s eyes.
"You like Xichen-ge. What's wrong?"
Jiang Cheng’s lower lip quivered. Ashamed, he turned away.
Wei Wuxian put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing slightly. When Jiang Cheng didn't shake him off, he squeezed a little tighter. "He's so kind," Jiang Cheng eventually whispered, so quiet, Wei Wuxian hardly heard it. But then he understood.
“You really like Xichen- ge, hm?”
He patted his shidi's shoulder. They stood in silence for a while, staring at the water flowing down the creek together.
After a while, Wei Wuxian finally said "Take things as they come."
The frustration was still visible on Jiang Cheng’s features as he turned to look at him and Wei Wuxian felt a pang of loss. If they'd had this same conversation years ago, he could have said something more helpful. Something like, "be brave" or "I'll be here for you, no matter how it goes.
And yet, things weren’t as bad as the had been. There was no shouting and the longer they stood together, the more his former shidi’s shoulder relaxed under his hand.
Finally, Jiang Cheng pulled himself together with huff and slapped Wei Wuxian on his shoulder in return before stomping down the pathway. Probably with a little more force than necessary. Wei Wuxians shoulder was still warm, by the time he was out of sight. He chuckled a little, mumbled to himself, "Good luck shidi." and left in the other direction towards the rabbits.
By the time Jiang Cheng arrived at the training grounds he was well composed. His back was straight and his thoughts were clear, as befitting when one sect leader meet another. Until he saw Lan Xichen, illuminated by the morning sun filtering through the trees, staring wistfully across the sparring field. A breeze caught a bit of his hair and the tails of his forehead ribbon, making him look even more ethereal. Jiang Cheng wondered what he'd done wrong to piss of the weather gods.
Then Lan Xichen whipped his head around, smiled at him and Jiang Cheng once again had to steel his resolve to move forward. "Wanyin!" Xichen called. "It is good to see you. I have upset you last night. I apologize."
"You didn't upset me," Jiang Cheng said and thought 'that's exactly the problem.'
Lan Xichen furrowed his brows. A little crease appeared between them. Jiang Cheng suppressed the urge to reach over and smooth it out.
Lan Xichen had stayed up late last night, trying to come up with a way to move forward as well. He'd reached a conclusion, but he wasn't sure if Jiang Wanyin would be open to it, and if he had any right to propose it. People often praised him as a diplomatic genius, when really, he just knew how to make people comfortable. He did not enjoy putting forth risky ideas. But for the sake of Wanyin, he'd try.
"I have a suggestion for today's training session," he started. Wanyin nodded like he was a soldier receiving orders from a general.
"I thought maybe, it'd be a good idea for us to engage in a rematch. Fight each other again, clear headed and on equal grounds," he said, head bowed. Shame spread in his stomach like oil. 'Preposterous. You've put him in danger before now you're asking to do it again' it said.
But Wanyin seemed to like the idea. He thought for a moment, big eyes blinking at Lan Xichen. Then he replied "We should leave Zidian and Liebing, they're no good for a spar like this. But otherwise, a sound idea."
Relief flooded Lan Xichen.
A match would be good, Jiang Cheng thought as they made their way onto the sparring field and took position. The sparring would set his head straight. It would once again cement Lan Xichen as what he was, a magnificent cultivator, excellent Sect Leader and potential foe. Problem solved!
Then Lan Xichen attacked him with and upwards strike of Shuoyue. His qui hit Jiang Cheng like a wall, and he barely had the wherewithal to pull up Sandu and block the strike. He turned to the side, trying to get behind the Lan Sect Leader and got distracted by the smooth way the other blocked his next strike. With a snarl he focused on the other’s feet, hoping that looking away from his face would help this persistent distraction and noticed an unevenness in Lan Xichen’s footwork. Unusual for a Sect Leader, but just the opportunity Jiang Cheng needed. He feinted to the left before striking on the right, stepping into Xichen’s space where his stance was weak. Xichen, as expected, blocked the strike by grabbing Jiang Cheng’s arm and twisting him so his back was against the Lan Sect Leaders front.
Now all Jiang Chang had to do was raise Sandu and point it towards Xichen’s face, claiming victory, but this hold felt like a hug and Xichen didn't slide Shuoyue against his neck either.
"Who... Who loses?" Jiang Cheng asked, panting slightly from the exertion. Behind him, Xichen sounded surprisingly flustered, as he replied "Ah... I think we both do."
True enough, in a real fight, they'd have killed each other at the same time.
Jiang Cheng shook his head and disentangled himself from Xichen’s arm.
He ignored the pull in his stomach at the loss of Lan Xichen’s body heat and got back into his stance. "Round two. Come at me like you did that night!" he shouted.
Xichen stayed quiet but took his stance as well. Was that a flush on his cheeks? No, no it couldn't be.
Xichen stared at Wanyin. His chest still felt warm where the others back had been. His plan had backfired. So much for trying to get them back on neutral ground. No, the admiration he’d felt for Wanyin had grown much stronger since their conversation last night. The spark in his eyes seemed much brighter. His hair shinier. He’d always been graceful when he struck, but had his thighs always looked that powerful?
This first match had been a disaster, a disgrace for any cultivator of their ranks. He really hoped shufu wasn't lurking somewhere or he'd get an earful later. Plus, Wanyin deserved a fair revanche. So, he steeled himself against the others charms and attacked again.
For a while it was a good, honest match. Xichen avoided thinking about how wonderfully flexible the Jiang Sect Leader could move, Jiang Cheng avoided thinking about Xichen’s chest against his back and all was well. Sword glares flittered across the training field and both of them landed in the dust multiple times, although never long enough for the other to claim victory.
Xichen had just made it back to his feet after blocking a strike from Sandu which Wanyin currently controlled from afar. He put an immense amount of power behind each strike, clearly something he'd picked up from their first duel. Lans above all else were strong. But they were also agile. If you wanted to beat them, you'd have to best them in both at least temporarily. Wanyin was currently doing both. At great expense if the sweat on his forehead was anything to go by. But it worked. Xichen was pushed further and further back in tiny steps until his back collided with a column. Before he'd even registered what was happening, Jiang Cheng had raced forward, pulled Sandu back into his hand and held it next to Xichen’s throat. They were almost at eye-level panting from exhaustion.
"You haven't won quite yet," Xichen mumbled. Shuoyue floated behind Jiang Cheng’s head, ready to strike. But neither man really paid attention to it. They were lost once again in each other’s eyes and shared breath. Then with a snarl, Jiang Cheng sheathed Sandu and threw himself at Xichen. He curled his fingers in the Lans expensive robes and buried his face against the others shoulder, where he took shaking breaths.
Xichen was startled for a moment, but then raised his arms around the other man to hold him close. What was this? A ruse? An request for comforted? A confession?
"I can't forget it," Jiang Wanyin mumbled into his shoulder.
"What?" Xichen replied.
"When you kissed my neck that night. It's been stuck on my mind ever since. I can't forget it, I can't."
Wanyin was shaking again. Xichen wanted to take away whatever troubled Jiang Cheng, but he didn’t quite know what it was. He took a step back and dropped his gaze, but he didn’t let go.
"Did, did you like it?" Xichen tried, carefully. Expectation curled his stomach into knots. If he guessed wrong, every bit of trust they’d build back up again, could be shattered. Wanyin didn't reply. But the grip on his robes tightened again. "Would... would you like me to try it again? To see if you still do?"
Again, no reply came. Wanyin seemed paralyzed.
Xichen tried again. "I won't if you don't tell me to," Xichen said.
For a moment nothing happened. But then Wanyin slowly nodded his head. So Xichen moved forward. Slowly, giving Wanyin time to move away.
Then he pressed his lips against the warm skin linking Wanyin’s shoulder to his neck. Wanyin’s pulse ran beneath his lips and his smell filled Xichen’s senses, he pulled away again. Wanyin let out a shuddering sigh. Xichen gave a questioning "hm?" And got another nod in return. He kissed Wanyin’s neck again. And again and again, each kiss accompanied by a nod. Then he pulled away again. Staring at Wanyin, asking for permission. When the nod came, he kissed Wanyin once more, this time on the lips.
Jiang Cheng didn't know what to do, but he didn’t want it to stop. It felt like something finally clicked into place. Xichen’s arms around his shoulders felt warm and comforting. His lips soft against his own, gentle, giving him time to understand and respond. The others warmth engulfed him like a blanket, drowning out everything else. It was just them and all he wanted was for this feeling not to end. So, he wrapped his arms around Xichen, pulling him close. Xichen deepened the kiss.
Eventually they had to pull away for air. The breeze was still the same and Jiang Cheng could hear the same creek bubbling through a pristine Lan-garden nearby that he'd heard before. And yet, it seemed like his entire world had flipped.
"Wanyin?" Xichen asked. There was a note of worry in his voice and distantly Jiang Cheng thought that he'd run the person who put it there through with Sandu, until he remembered that Xichen most likely worried about him. Worried about him. Worried about him! Holding him. Kissing him.
"Xichen?" he said. "Can we go to the Hanshi?"
They made it through the door of the Hanshi, barely, before they were on each other again. Jiang Cheng was bolder this time, grabbing whichever part of Xichen’s torso he could reach and even holding fistfuls of the other Sect Leaders hair. Xichen gave as good as he got, holding Jiang Cheng against the wall of the Hanshi and eventually licking across the seam of Jiang Cheng’s lips. The other opened his mouth slightly and Xichen showed him how far kissing could go. His body felt hot, his mind was still delightfully empty. He could still feel the phantom burn of Xichen’s lips on his neck and as Xichen gripped his waist to pull him up, he suddenly let out a noise he didn't think himself capable of. Shocked, he pushed Xichen away for the moment.
"It's fine to make noise," Xichen murmured into their shared space.
“You have a wall here that says the opposite,” Jiang Cheng huffed.
"Mhm, but the wall also says one should be true to themselves, of one mind." Xichen replied and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth.
Jiang Cheng huffed a quiet laugh.
They spend the rest of the afternoon in the Hanshi working, drinking tea, occasionally stealing kisses from each other. Jiang Cheng couldn't quite get enough of the experience and Xichen appeared more than happy to oblige. It all felt like a dream. They skipped dinner in the hall in favour of eating together, side by side. The disciple who relayed the message to the kitchens didn't think twice when they told him, work would require they skip eating with the others.
Things were great until 9 pm approached. As they packed up their work for the day, he couldn't help feeling like the bubble they had been in the entire day was about to burst.
He stood in front of the door, unwilling to move. Xichen noticed. "What's wrong?"
Jiang Cheng worked his jaw but couldn't get the words out. What was there to say? That he didn't want the day to end? That he'd been happier today than he'd been for a long time? That he wanted to keep doing this?
He couldn't force Xichen like that. Surely, Xichen would feel compelled to agree out of kindness and nothing good could come out of that.
"Jiang Wanyin, we don't have to be close, when we go outside, if you don't wish to." Xichen said, although he sounded a little disappointed.
That startled Jiang Cheng. He turned around and faced Xichen. He looked expectant. "When... you, do you want to continue this?" Jiang Cheng said, incredulous, motioning at the Hanshi and each other.
Lan Xichen’s face fell. "You don't?"
The crease between his eyebrows was back, Lan Xichen sighed and turned, maybe to busy himself with the papers again.
"No! No! I do, I just...", he shouted, desperate, gods he was bad at this. Why could he never find the right words in these kinds of situations?
"You do?" Lan Xichen turned around again. "Yes, but… but... Jiang Cheng’s face burned from shame. 'You're a grown man', he thought 'pull yourself together!' he took a deep breath.
"I don't want you to act rashly."
Lan Xichen listened with wide eyes. He blinked and cast Jiang Cheng a long look, that shot a new spike of shame through his body. He buried his beet red face in his hands.
Lan Xichen hummed and nodded. "I understand. Wanyin, I will end out time together, should I no longer enjoy it. I hope you understand that you are free to do the same. Currently I wish to continue this endeavour."
Jiang Cheng nodded. "Alright."
Lan Xichen came over to him and spread his arms. Jiang Cheng stepped forward on unreasonably wobbly legs and let himself get engulfed in a warm hug. He raised his own arms and stroked across Lan Xichen’s wide back, hoping to express at least some of the gratitude he felt for Lan Xichen understanding.
Lan Xichen gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "Good night, Jiang Wanyin."
Jiang Cheng held on tighter.
____
For the next couple of days, thing continued like this. They meditated and trained together. Kissed when no one was around to see and experimented with various ways of cuddling. Xichen quite enjoyed sitting in Jiang Cheng’s lap. Jiang Cheng marvelled at Lan Xichen’s hair. He braided it once. In his opinion, the braids made Lan Xichen look even more stunning.
For that short span of time Jiang Cheng was just happy.
That was until one evening, when the Lans once again held a banquet. A more formal one this time. All of the disciples, Lan Quiren, the elders and guests attended. He watched Wei Wuxian be on his best behaviour in front of Lan Quiren, clearly all to keep the peace for Lan Wangji's sake. He watched Lan Wangji dote on his husband, filling his dishes with food and providing him with hot sauce despite Lan Quiren’s shocked intake of breath.
He looked over at Lan Xichen, who sat far away from his spot and spoke to an elder. Jiang Cheng slurped some of the bitter soup the Lans served. Who was he kidding, even if they were to sit next to each other, he wouldn’t even know what little gesture at dinner Lan Xichen would appreciate. When he looked back up, Wei Wuxian had shaped a little rabbit out of some rice, drawing a smile from Lan Wangji. Incredible.
After the banquet was over, Jiang Cheng was on the way back to his guestroom. Lan Xichen had Sect Leader duties to deal with, which Jiang Cheng couldn't be present for. He sighed. Halfway to the guesthouse, he heard something curious out of the disciple quarters.
"... Happy, I brought it here, It's not like they'll ever let you try it otherwise!" That was A-Ling.
"For good reason! That's why our cultivation is so great!" that was the loud little Lan disciple. Lan Jingyi?
"Oh yeah? At least Jin cultivators don't have a qui deviation any time they see someone have some actual fun!"
Silence followed. Jiang Cheng winced.
But A-Ling surprised him. "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that. You guys are fun."
Lan Sizhui replied "It's fine Jin Ling, I'm happy you brought the wine for us to try. But let's have it next time we're out of the premises, alright?" The other boys hummed their approval.
An honest apology. Jiang Cheng was very impressed. Every time he met Jin ling again after they had been apart for a while, they boy seemed to have grown. He improved in ways Jiang Cheng could not foresee. He was however, not impressed enough not to step in. He cleared his throat, calling attention to where he was standing outside the open door. "Jin Ling! Don't disrupt another sects customs!"
All three juniors spun around to stare at him. On the ground between them lay a couple of wine jars.
Jin Ling shouted "Jiujiu, how long have you been there?!"
"Long enough!" Jiang Cheng hissed. "Sect Leaders respect other Sects principles! You're giving the Jin elders ammunition!"
Sizhui tried to step in, but Jin Ling jumped up and held him back. "I'm not the one people have ammunition against right now," he shouted.
That took Jiang Cheng aback. "What?" he said.
"I'm not the one who people say holes up in Cloud Recesses, because they couldn't stand up against a new Sect Leader!"
"What?!" Jiang Cheng shouted.
"I'm not the one who people say ran from his Sect!" Jin Ling screamed.
Zidan’s lightening cracked across the floor and Jiang Cheng’s face twisted into an ugly scowl. Lan Jingyi jumped up to stand behind Lan Sizhui.
"Don't drink here. We'll speak of this later," he growled, then stormed out of the building.
"Sorry Jiujiu," Jin Ling said quietly to his retreating back, but Jiang Cheng didn't hear him.
His blood ran cold. Who'd spread these rumours? Was someone threatening Lotus pier? From the correspondence he'd been sent it hadn't seemed that way, but had the correspondence been intercepted? Most likely it was still a rumour, but rumours created opportunity. He'd have to leave in the morning, tell Lan Xichen and get back to his Sect. Jin Ling was right, it had been stupid and careless to stay in Cloud Recesses this long. His chest felt tight. He should have left once is strength had returned. He should have relied on the Jiang books to increase his strength, how had he lost sight of what mattered most?
He didn't sleep that night. He packed his belongings, wrote a note to Xichen to place in front of the Hanshi explaining the situation and tried to meditate as best he could until it was early morning, and he could safely leave cloud recesses without causing alarm among the Lan disciples. He didn't know how the cultivation world managed to get information on where he was. It was forbidden for Lans to gossip, but really, when did prohibition stop anybody. Better to leave quietly.
However, as he stepped out of the door at 5 am sharp, Lan Wangji stopped him. "Hangung-jun" he greeted, confused, hoping the other wouldn't catch on to what he was doing.
"Sect Leader Jiang", the other replied, his tone as neutral as ever.
"I know of what you have been doing with Xiongzhang."
Jiang Cheng swallowed against the lump in his throat. "And?" he managed.
Irritation warred with embarrassment. When had they been caught? And who was Lan Wangji of all people to judge them?
"Be careful," Lan Wangji continued. "Xiongzhang has gone through a lot in the past years."
'And you'll only make it worse.' Lan Wangji didn't say it, but Jiang Cheng heard it. The silence between them grew heavy.
His scowl deepened. Part of him itched to tell Lan Wangji to back off. That he wouldn't make it worse. He really wouldn't! But he couldn't start a fight with Lan Wangji. Not with everything else on the line right now.
He only replied with "mhm."
He couldn't tell whether or not that satisfied Lan Wangji. The other only inclined his head and left. Jiang Cheng watched him leave and tried to prevent Zidian from sparking.
Jiang Cheng stalked towards the Hanshi. He felt sick. The world around him seemed to blur. Where Cloud Recesses silence was usually incredibly calming, the place seemed downright deserted now. The trees looked like dark spectres in the dawn and Jiang Cheng’s mind flickered between the faces of Jin Ling, Xichen and Lan Wangji, whose words still rang in his ears. The note for Xichen crinkled, where he squeezed it between his fingers.
Halfway to the Hanshi, he stopped and opened it up again.
'Lan Xichen, urgent matters came up for the Jiang Sect. I must leave. I'll write you soon. Jiang Cheng'
The words seemed to glare at him from that piece of paper. Wei Wuxian wouldn't write like this. He'd add a doodle to his note. Something to make Lan Wangji smile. Words to ease his worry. But Jiang Cheng didn't know what to draw. And would Lan Xichen even worry? Wasn't it more likely he'd simply be confused? Affronted that Jiang Cheng had left before their training was completed, leaving Lan Xichen’s effort wasted?
His hand was shaking.
'You'll make it worse.'
He would, wouldn't he?
He thought about Jin Ling apologizing to his friends. Easily, without hesitation. While he couldn't even tell Lan Xichen he wanted to see him again. Gods, no, he couldn't help Lan Xichen. Not in the way Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian clearly helped each other live with what they all had endured. Not in the way Yanli had helped Wei Wuxian and him for years. Soft and patient, with gentle hands and sweet gestures.
All he did was soak up Lan Xichen’s care. Like he had his sisters and Wei Wuxians. Make people bend over backwards for him, sacrifice themselves for him. That's all he'd done, that's all he would ever do. Yes, he would make it worse.
The world around him blurred even further.
He crumpled the note up und stuffed it deep into his Quiankun pouch.
Then he drew Sandu and raced out of Cloud Recesses as fast as he could. Up in the air he saw storm clouds forming. Good.
When Lan Wangji returned to the Jingshi, Wei Wuxian was lounging on the bed, waiting for him. "Where did you go?" he asked. Lan Wangji leaned down and kissed the top of his head.
"Spoke to Sect Leader Jiang." Wei Wuxian stroked across Lan Wangji’s shoulders. "Do you feel better about them now?"
"Mh," Lan Wangji replied. "He wasn't mad."
Wei Wuxian snickered.
They were interrupted by wild knocking on the door.
When they opened it, a somewhat dishevelled Lan Xichen and frazzled Jin Ling greeted them.
"Wangji! Young Master Wei, have you seen Jiang Wanyin?" Lan Xichen asked.
"Mh. I spoke to him at the guest house," Lan Wangji replied.
Lan Xichen’s eyebrows rose "What... what were you talking about?" he asked a little exasperated.
There was a moment of confused silence that had Jin Ling almost vibrating out of his skin.
"You. I told him to be careful," Wangji finally replied slowly.
Lan Xichen cursed and drew Shuoyue.
"Wangji, don’t worry, I’ll fix this. Cover for me today. Tell Shufu I'll be back soon," he said with a warm smile before getting on the sword and speeding off.
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji stared at Jing Ling. "Jiujiu is gone," Jin Ling explained. Wei Wuxian slumped to the ground. The other two followed suit. "I didn't think I'd ever hear Lan Xichen curse," Wei Wuxian said. The other two nodded.
"Good thing Grandmaster Lan Quiren wasn't around to see it" Jin Ling said. The others nodded again.
The storm slowed Jiang Cheng down. Sheets of rain slashed at his robes and thunder rumbled around him. Lightning lit up the clouds above him. It was cold and the rain soaked his robes, but he kept going.
Until he heard a faint voice behind him. "Jiang Wanyin!"
'No!' he thought. He tried to speed Sandu up even further, Shuoyue had always been a exceptionally fast sword. Lan Xichen caught up to him.
"Wanyin, slow down please!"
He was too close. It was no use. Jiang Cheng stopped and descended. Below them was a dense forest. It kept some of the rain away, but both of them were already soaked.
Jiang Cheng refused to look at Lan Xichen’s face. Lan Xichen extended a hand, but pulled it back, when Jiang Cheng didn't step closer.
"Why did you leave so suddenly? Have I upset you?", Lan Xichen asked.
'See?' Jiang Cheng thought 'You're already making him worse. He’s soaked and upset, because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut about a measly kiss.’
"There is an issue in Yunmeng. I must return," Jiang Cheng replied. His voice was cold. He turned away, so Lan Xichen wouldn't see his face. "Leave me be."
"Ah", Lan Xichen said. "It was just so sudden. You could have notified me." Jiang Cheng hated how small Lan Xichen’s voice sounded.
"Why must Sect Leader Lan be kept in the know on Jiang Sect business?" Jiang Cheng jeered, still not looking at Xichen.
"Wanyin, what has come over you? I thought you were content with how things were going!" Xichen said. Jiang Cheng turned around at that, and his chest constricted at the hurt he saw in Lan Xichen’s face.
"No. Word has gone around already! To rest of the cultivation world, I am holed up in Cloud Recesses, licking my wounds, leaving Lotus Pier unguarded! This was a senseless idea from the start!"
Lan Xichen’s gaze softened. "Wanyin, we both know this isn't the truth, you can see after Lotus Pier and return."
"You pick terrible people to attach yourself to!"
It was a low blow. Jiang Cheng knew it. Saw it in the way Lan Xichen’s face fell. The way his eyes darkened and his shoulders squared.
'Good,' Jiang Cheng thought even though his heart hurt like it was ripping in two ' Now he sees it. Where this would go. What I do to the people around me. He'll leave.'
He hoped the rain hid the mistiness in his eyes.
"That was uncalled for," Lan Xichen said. His voice lacked any of its usual warmth. Jiang Cheng turned to leave. "Oh no," Lan Xichen whispered and grabbed Jiang Cheng by the arm. "You're not running this time. You're not subtle Wanyin, I can see what you're doing."
Jiang Cheng turned around to face him again. The rain couldn’t hide them anymore, too many tears flowed down his cheeks. "Then what is wrong with you? Leave!" he screamed. "I'll always be like this! It'd always be like this, I can't do this!"
"Why do you think I'm here?!" Lan Xichen shouted back. Jiang Cheng blinked through the tears, stunned for a moment. "Don’t you think I know you, by now? Do you think I would follow you if I didn't want you?" Xichen stepped closer and held Jiang Cheng by the shoulders.
"I know you're prone to anger and struggle to open up. But you give everything for Lotus Pier, you changed your mind on your shidi to keep your bond alive, raise Jin Ling and risk your life for him.
You cherish what you get, you protect it fiercely no matter the cost and you give back everything you can. You protected me from myself and still granted me a second chance. I really enjoyed our time together. I enjoyed building something new with you. I see your efforts to be open with me, often at great expense and I enjoy bridging the gap. It feels rewarding, doing it with you.”
Lan Xichen let go of Jiang Cheng’s shoulders.
"I ask a for great amount of trust from you, I know. But when I chose you, I did so clear headed. When we started our training, and I asked about your cultivation, you told me it wasn’t enough. You couldn’t accept when I complemented you, were never satisfied with the results of our training.
Wanyin, I meant what I said. If you truly don't want me. If you truly don't want this. I will not hold you back. I will not follow you. No harm will come to our Sects alliance. But in the future, please don't push away what you desire, because you think you don't deserve it."
Jiang Cheng looked at him through wet lashes. New tears streamed down his face.
"Your brother hates me," he whispered. Lan Xichen smiled a sad smile. "Brother says what he means. He wants you to be careful. Nothing more, nothing less."
"Our Sects safety will be compromised."
"Shufu spoke to me about the rumour yesterday evening. We suspect it came about because you used Lan Sect paper to send a letter to Sect Leader Qin. That’s likely all it's based on. We questioned some disciples who’ve been out hunting yesterday evening. None of them knew of any other rumours."
"A Sect Leader shouldn't act upon baseless rumours," Jiang Cheng whispered to himself, embarrassed that he'd taken the words for full that easily.
"This sect leader has gone through a lot, this past year," Lan Xichen replied.
Jiang Cheng continued to cry silently. Lan Xichen wanted to pull him close. Hold him, tell him, they were going to be alright. But he couldn’t. He felt a tear slide down his own cheek.
Then, with a shuddering breath Jiang Cheng stepped closer, threw his arms around Lan Xichen and buried his face in the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I want you. Thank you."
Lan Xichen finally pulled him close and swayed them back and forth. He buried his face in Jiang Cheng’s hair and breathed deep. "No need to thank me"
Lan Xichen pulled Jiang Cheng underneath a large tree where they were shielded from the rain and gently placed a cleansing talisman onto both of them, which dried their robes, but more importantly also cleaned away the dirt from the storm and the forest. Jiang Cheng gave a wet snort and muttered something about "clean freak Lans". Lan Xichen pulled him into his lap, and they sat together chest to chest feeling each other’s heartbeat and listening to the rain fall.
Eventually, a Jin butterfly reached them, with a message from Jin Ling, who sounded very stressed. A disciple from Jiang Sect had arrived, bringing general news and confirming all was well for the time being. They decided to fly back to Cloud Recesses for the night but to visit Lotus Pier soon.
Back in Cloud Recesses Jiang Cheng was ambushed by a stressed Jin Ling as well as a concerned Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. After Jiang Chiang confirmed he would continue to stay in Cloud Recesses at least for a while, all of them heaved varying sighs of relief.
They ate in the dining hall and then set out to retire for the night. Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng walked side by side in silence until they reached the place where the paths between Hanshi and the guest house diverged. Xichen took Jiang Cheng’s hand. "If you wish to, you can stay in the Hanshi, instead if the guest house," he said.
Jiang Cheng thought for a moment then nodded slowly.
Lan Xichen squeezed Jiang Cheng’s hand a little and they took the path to the Hanshi. Around them the sounds of disciples settling down filled the night. Lan Xichen’s hand was warm in his. He’d held his hand before. But it felt different now, no longer dreamlike and instead much more permanent, much more real. Sturdy. "Lan Xichen?" he asked after a while. "Call me Jiang Cheng." Lan Xichen laughed quietly and stroked his thumb across the back of Jiang Cheng’s hand "Gladly."
It was quiet in the Hanshi. They shed their outer robes and undid their hair. Lan Xichen ran his hands through the waves left by Jiang Cheng’s updo. Jiang Cheng sighed as the soft tugs drew the days tension from out of his shoulders. The gentle tugs on his hair seemed to carry it away and Jiang Cheng didn't fight to hold on. "You didn't braid your hair this morning." Lan Xichen said.
"I was in a bit of a hurry," Jiang Cheng huffed. Looking at Lan Xichen’s discarded carefully folded outer robe, he said "You wore less layers today." Lan Xichen chuckled. "Well, I was in a bit of a hurry as well"
Jiang Cheng paused for a moment. "How did you find out where I was?"
"I encountered Jin Ling at the study hall. He told me he couldn't find you. We went to ask Wangji and Master Wei. Wangji told me about your conversation. It wasn’t hard to figure out where you’d be. You gave Wangji quite the fright. He was glad to see you return."
"Sure didn't look like it," he muttered. "Oh, his relief was written all over his face," Lan Xichen chuckled.
"You're a clairvoyant", Jiang Cheng replied. Stifling a yawn, he glanced over to the bed.
Lan Xichen took his hand and led him over, where they settled down next to each other. Lan Xichen pulled the blanket over them both. "Huan," he said “Please call me Huan, Jiang Cheng." Jiang Cheng, already half asleep under the warm blanket, nodded slowly.
When Lan Xichen woke the next morning, early as always, the first thing he saw was Jiang Cheng, relaxed in his sleep. The Lan Sect Leaders schedule demanded he meditate and get dressed before the day truly began. But one could meditate lying down, right? So, he settled back down, focused on his breathing and let Jiang Cheng’s quiet breaths wash over him like warm summer rain.
When Jiang Cheng woke, the first thing he saw was Lan Xichen. His eyes were still closed, but Jiang Cheng was sure he wasn't sleeping. He watched Lan Xichen’s chest rise and fall as the sun slowly set over the Gusu mountains, filling the Hanshi with a soft glow.
A person next to him. The last time he'd woken up next to someone it had been Jin Ling, who'd climbed into his bed to escape some nightmares. Years ago.
He reached out to Xichen, but the other opened his eyes and caught his hand, turning around to face him. He stroked across the back of Jiang Cheng’s hand with an easy smile and something inside Jiang Cheng unfurled. His whole body felt warm. The way it had at the banquet, where Lan Xichen playing Liebing had drowned out all other noise in the world.
"Good morning, Jiang Cheng," Lan Xichen said. Jiang Cheng nodded, still struck by the sight in front of him. Lan Xichen yawned and turned around to settle more comfortably against Jiang Cheng. Their feet tangled together.
Lan Xichen gently brushed a strand of hair behind Jiang Cheng’s ear. He caught Xichen’s hand and kissed the inside of his wrist, hoping to convey some of the gratitude and warmth he was feeling. Lan Xichen let out a little breathy sound that had Jiang Cheng’s toes tingling.
Lan Xichen pulled him in for a kiss. It started out light, just a brush of lips, but then grew deeper. When they parted Lan Xichen nuzzled behind Jiang Cheng’s Ear, kissing the skin just above his neck and a new streak mixed in with the feeling of warmth and comfort.
He ran his hands across Xichen’s back and tightened his hold at Xichen’s appreciative hum.
"Huan?", he asked " Yesterday, you said you enjoy doing new things with me. Do you…," he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.
For a moment Xichen stilled and his eyes seemed to become darker. Jiang Cheng feared he'd overstepped a line. But then Xichen whispered "yes." into ear and his hot breath made Jiang Cheng shudder. He tugged at Xichen’s robes as the other kissed down his neck. One hand found his hip and ran up and down his side, leaving hot trails on the skin beneath his robe. Finally, he managed to free a collarbone from the Lans sleeping robes and pressed his mouth to it, drinking in Lan Xichen’s little gasps. "A-Cheng." He whispered and pushed the Jiang’s robe off his shoulders.
Belatedly Jiang Cheng froze, realising Xichen would see.
Xichen brushed against the skin above the jagged edges of the scar tissue on Jiang Cheng’s chest. They looked like Wangji’s scars, just deeper and more jagged. Disciple whip scars. He sat up a little. Jiang Cheng withdrew from his neck and tucked his chin in.
"Do you want to speak about it?", Lan Xichen asked. Jiang Cheng turned his head away, his expression bitter. Xichen wanted to pull him back in, but he wasn't sure if it would startle the other. He placed his hand on Jiang Cheng’s shoulder instead and kneaded softly. "All in due time.", he tried. And Jiang Cheng responded, turned back to him, cocked his head slightly. Oh, that sure was something. Carefully, he slid his hand slowly down Jiang Cheng’s back only pulling him in by the waist when Jiang Cheng’s eyes fluttered shut. His cheeks had flushed splotchy red, and he glowed in the morning sun. Xichen kissed the skin below his chest. Yes. There would be time.
Jiang Cheng tugged at his robe again, impatient. Xichen chuckled and undid it slowly. The way Jiang Cheng stroked across his chest send a shiver down his spine. Almost reverent, tracing the divots of his muscles with care. Jiang Cheng breathed a "Huan," against his neck as he reached the waistband of his pants. Xichen nodded and then Jiang Cheng’s hot hand was on his dick. With a groan, he leaned his head back.
Jiang Cheng watched him with rapt attention. He felt around, drawing more and more noises from Lan Xichen. They stoked the fire in his stomach, and he bit his teeth. He pulled Xichen free, which earned him another gasp and began to stroke the velvety skin.
Lan Xichen pulled him close for another deep kiss and then slid his warm hands down, down, across his back and hips to cup his ass. He moaned, a little started by his own voice. Noone had touched him like that before. Lan Xichen squeezed the flesh in his hands and Jiang Cheng’s legs gave out. "Huan!" he pleaded not sure for what exactly. He only knew he wanted more. More of Lan Huan, as much as he’d be given.
Lan Xichen hummed. He watched Jiang Cheng through lidded eyes as he slowly slid the others pants down his hips and legs. Jiang Cheng gasped as Lan Xichen grabbed the underside of his thighs, lifting him slightly so he sat on top of the Lans legs. Jiang Cheng ground down ground against Xichen again and again, urged on by the other’s hands on his hips squeezing and pulling him forward.
“Hah… keep, keep going”, Lan Xichen breathed. “So good.”
Jiang Cheng couldn’t take it anymore, he grabbed both of them in on hand and squeezed them together. The new heat against him sent a spark up his spine. Xichen moaned. Jiang Cheng searched for is mouth, pulling him into a kiss. Precum eased the slide of his hand. Xichen’s tongue in his mouth had him seeing stars. Everything felt hot, the fire build and build inside of him. They broke away for air and stared into each other’s eyes. Jiang Cheng panted “Huan, Huan” with each stroke of his hand. Xichen squeezed the back of his thigh again and Jiang Cheng’s thoughts whited out. He came with a broken cry. Xichen followed him over the edge moments later.
They both collapsed back onto the bed. Xichen pressed Jiang Cheng to his chest like he’d never let him go. Jiang Cheng let himself be held and revelled in that feeling. He basked in Lan Xichen’s warmth, his weight, the luxury of listening to his slowing breath.
"You’ll stay," It slipped out, before he could stop it. Lan Xichen smiled and squeezed him tighter.
”Yes.”
“You’ll be here tomorrow,” Jiang Cheng whispered. “You’ll play music for me tomorrow; you’ll still want me; You’ll still hold me tomorrow.”
Lan Xichen kissed the side of his head one hand combing through Jiang Cheng’s hair “I’ll be here tomorrow, I’ll play all the music you want and I’ll want you and hold you, for as long as you’ll have me.”
Jiang Cheng buried his head in the crook of Lan Xichen’s neck.
They stayed like that until the sun had risen high in the sky.
____
The disciple greeted and held out a rather unassuming letter, considering it was from chief cultivator Nie Huaisang. Sect Leader Qin nodded at the disciple and took it. The Chief cultivator informed him that currently no further trade offers could be extended to him. He read on and on through various excuses about bad terrain, dangerous roadways and varying weather conditions until he reached a sentence at the end: 'I also do not wish to see any more of my fellow cultivators poisoned'. he characters warped and turned a crimson red. The letter went up in flames, dark red smoke filled the hall. He screamed, but it was too late.
Back in Gusu, Wei Wuxian looked up from the Compass of ill Winds he was working on. "Lan Zhan! The long-distance curse! It worked!" he shouted, with a wide grin. "Mh," Lan Zhan replied and kissed Wei Wuxians head. "Well done."