Chapter Text
Caitlyn has never understood the way other people want sex, the seemingly insatiable desire, but she likes having Vi in her bed.
Instead of the all-consuming lust she’s meant to feel, Caitlyn just feels a little warm and happy. She wants to make Vi feel good. She wants to be with her, in all of the ways she can.
It’s that desire for intimacy that has Caitlyn slipping her fingers under the hem of Vi’s shirt. “Can I take this off?”
She has to draw away from Vi’s swollen lips to ask. Kissing was another thing she’d never really understood—it’s rather wet— but she likes making Vi pant and flush. She likes knowing she did that.
Vi nods and then takes off her shirt before Caitlyn can do it. She’s left in only the sarashi wrap around her chest, showing off strong muscles and a myriad of scars and tattoos. Caitlyn wants to memorize every inch of her.
“Like what you see?” Vi asks with a bravado Caitlyn has come to recognize as a facade. She can see the hesitancy in Vi’s eyes, the uncertainty in the subtle shifting of her muscles like she’s fighting to keep herself in place.
“You know I do.” If Caitlyn had any kind of artistic ability, she might attempt to replicate the splendor that is Vi. The messy pink hair, the gleam of her piercings, the curve of her nose, the scar across her lip. And then lower, the rise of her covered chest, the patterns of ink, the divet of her abs. Caitlyn admires her the way she admires Piltover’s skyline at sunset or the shine of a freshly cleaned gun.
She knows there’s meant to be more to her admiration. She’s meant to be driven wild by something deep in the pit of her stomach, to crave Vi like an alcoholic craves the bottle. She’s never felt that way for anyone. One day, she’ll be brave enough to tell Vi, and maybe Vi will stay anyway. She hopes Vi will stay.
Vi winks and flexes her abs. “I work out.”
Caitlyn rolls her eyes, flooded with fondness. She leans forward to kiss Vi again, exploring Vi’s stomach with her fingers. Vi’s skin is warm under her hands as she catalogs every touch that makes Vi inhale sharper or tense or clutch at her, trying to cement them to memory. If she knows what Vi likes, she can give it to her.
“You too,” Vi says, tugging at Caitlyn’s shirt.
Caitlyn lets her remove it and tries not to feel weird about the way Vi stares. She thinks she likes that Vi likes her this way. It feels good to be wanted by Vi.
Caitlyn kisses Vi again. She licks Vi’s scar and bites her lower lip until she coaxes a moan from Vi. She likes drawing these kinds of sounds from Vi, they feel like reminders that Vi is hers .
“I want to make you feel good,” Caitlyn says, hands splayed over Vi’s ribs, thumbs resting over the bottom of her sarashi.
Vi’s throat bobs as she swallows. “You’re already doing that.”
“More than this.” Caitlyn kisses along Vi’s jaw and down her throat. These kinds of kisses are better, drier, and she can suck marks onto Vi’s pale skin. She leaves one over Vi’s neck tattoo, only visible in the spaces between the ink. She drags her thumb over it, delighted by the shape of her mouth on Vi’s skin.
“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Vi breathes, fingers digging tighter into Caitlyn’s hips. She’s still wearing the wraps around her hands.
Caitlyn sits back, straddling Vi’s lap, and reaches for Vi’s right hand. She brings it between them and begins carefully unwrapping it. There’s no ink along her hands or arms, but there are scars and bruises that Caitlyn treats with gentle touches, kissing one of the darker bruises on Vi’s knuckles.
When she looks up, she finds Vi watching her with gray eyes full of emotion, and she thinks softness is another thing she likes to give Vi. She’s been denied it for so long, growing up in the undercity and being unjustly imprisoned. She deserves so much more softness than she’s received.
Caitlyn presses another kiss to Vi’s palm before setting that hand down and reaching for the other.
“You don’t have to—”
“I’m aware, but I want to,” Caitlyn says, beginning to unwrap Vi’s left hand.
“Why?”
Caitlyn knows Vi wouldn’t react well to the truth. Despite the goodness of her heart, how carefully she holds those she cares about, Vi still seems to think she doesn’t deserve softness, that it means she’s weak. Caitlyn’s working on that. She brushes her thumb over Vi’s wrist bone and gives another answer, still true, but something Vi will find easier to accept, “I like touching you.”
“You sure know how to sweet talk a girl,” Vi says, her right hand finding Caitlyn’s waist again. “Learn that at Babette’s?”
Caitlyn grimaces at the reminder of the brothel. She’d ended up having a nice conversation with a pretty girl from the undercity, but she still remembers the anxiety she’d felt when Vi suggested she let them think you work here. She wonders what Vi would think of the places she’s visited, not brothels like Babette’s, but dungeons. Where sex was an option, but never the main appeal—at least, not for her.
“Maybe I could have learned more if I hadn’t needed to leave early to save your life.”
Vi grins, and Caitlyn can’t help but smile back. At the time, she’d been upset to realize Vi abandoned her, but that night had marked a turning point in their relationship. Without that, they never would have made it here.
After unwrapping Vi’s left hand, Caitlyn kisses her palm and sets it down. Then she has to pause to evaluate how best to proceed. On her list of priorities, getting Vi naked is further down, well below making sure Vi is comfortable and having a good time. Caitlyn wants to turn her on before she fully undresses her.
When Vi tries to turn their next kiss fast and dirty, Caitlyn intentionally slows down. Vi is so passionate and headstrong, always rushing into everything. As much as Caitlyn loves that about her, she wants to help Vi relax and enjoy the moment for once.
She runs her fingers over the shortest part of Vi’s hair, feeling the softness of it, as she slides further into Vi’s lap.
Only once Vi is gasping for breath and rocking her hips does Caitlyn reach for the sarashi wrap around Vi’s chest.
“No kisses there?” Vi asks, not giving Caitlyn time to answer before kissing her again.
Caitlyn hums against Vi’s mouth before pulling back enough to say, “I’ll put my mouth anywhere you ask me to.”
The wraps fall from Vi’s chest into a pile on the blanket. Vi opens her mouth, closes it, tries again.
“I’ve never actually done this before,” Vi admits with a lovely pink flush to her cheeks.
“I know, Violet,” Caitlyn’s hands come up to cup Vi’s face, making sure Vi is meeting her gaze. “I know. We can stop if—”
Vi’s hand closes around hers, holding it in place, “Who said anything about stopping?”
The determination in Vi’s voice makes Caitlyn smile. She kisses her again, hoping it will help her relax. She isn’t sure what Vi likes yet, but she knows how sex works. Vi isn’t the first woman she’s undressed, just the first one Caitlyn has loved.
“I love you,” Caitlyn murmurs into Vi’s neck as she guides Vi to lay back against the bed.
“I love you too, cupcake.”
Caitlyn smoothes her hands up Vi’s stomach to her ribs, down again and back up, before finally moving higher. She flicks her thumb across a nipple to see if Vi will respond. Vi doesn’t disappoint. She sucks in a breath between her teeth and presses up into Caitlyn’s hand.
“You’re so sensitive,” Caitlyn breathes, awed.
“Shut up.”
The words, clouded with desire, have no bite to them.
Caitlyn lightly pinches Vi’s nipple, imagining using clamps or putting a piercing there. What kinds of sounds could she draw from Vi if her nipple was pierced? What kind of pleasures could she introduce her to?
The thoughts are pushed away as quickly as they’d bubbled up. Vi doesn’t want a domme, she wants a girlfriend, and Caitlyn wants to give her what she wants. She would look good with more piercings though.
“Cait,” Vi breathes when Caitlyn moves to get her lips around a nipple.
“Hm?”
Caitlyn sucks lightly, and Vi’s hands squeeze her hips so tight they start to hurt before they’re suddenly gone. When Caitlyn leans back, she sees Vi clutching at the bed sheets instead. She wonders if Vi would ever let her handcuff her; handcuffs are fairly vanilla, right? However, Vi might associate them with enforcers. Rope, then? No, definitely not vanilla.
“Felt good,” Vi murmurs, eyes wide, pupils blown out with lust.
Caitlyn smiles and moves to kiss her, long and slow, dipping her fingers beneath Vi’s waistline in question. When Vi’s hips lift in answer, Caitlyn pulls worn pants down strong legs.
As soon as her pants are out of the way, Vi is curling one of her legs around Caitlyn’s, tugging her down until they’re pressed together almost everywhere.
Vi breathes hard against Caitlyn’s lips, hips rolling against Caitlyn’s until Caitlyn shifts enough to get a thigh between Vi’s legs. They’ve done this before, albeit, against a door and fully clothed.
“Fuck,” Vi mutters, grinding hard and fast against Caitlyn’s thigh.
Leaning on one arm, Caitlyn uses her other hand to cup one of Vi’s boobs, thumbing over the nipple. She lowers her head to suck a mark at Vi’s collarbone and tenses her thigh, pressing up to meet Vi’s movements.
Vi comes with a little gasp, entire body tensing before relaxing. She tugs Caitlyn in for another kiss, hands exploring the exposed skin below Caitlyn’s bra. Vi is going to notice the discrepancy in their clothing soon and want more from her. Things Caitlyn isn’t sure she can give. Because as much as she enjoys taking Vi apart, she’s not sure if she’ll enjoy Vi’s hands on her. She’s a little turned on, but it’s a low buzzing at the back of her mind, easier ignored than satiated.
So Caitlyn does her best to distract Vi, fingers skating down Vi’s abs, lingering just above the waistband of her underwear. “May I?”
Vi snorts. She looks a little more relaxed now. Caitlyn wonders what she’d look like after multiple orgasms, how many in a row she could pull from her.
“Yeah, cupcake.” Vi helps Caitlyn undress her, kicking the underwear away once they're low enough. Then she frowns, eyebrows furrowing. “You’re still dressed.”
“I want to focus on you for now.” Or forever. She can give Vi this, and Vi enjoys it, they don’t need to complicate things with Caitlyn’s oddities. Except, this isn’t something Caitlyn can hide forever. Sooner or later, she’ll have to tell Vi the truth.
“Just because I’m new at this doesn’t mean I’m gonna be selfish about it.”
Caitlyn kneels between Vi’s legs, feeling suddenly unsteady. “I want you to be selfish.” Vi studies her, doubting her, so Caitlyn gets off the bed to take off her pants.
She wants Vi to be comfortable, but every article of clothing she sheds without talking this out first sets her more on edge. Why does this have to be so complicated? Isn’t it supposed to be easy? Why can’t she just want this the way everyone else seems to?
“Are you shy or something?”
Wearing only her undergarments, Caitlyn situates herself between Vi’s legs again. She gently scratches trimmed nails through the hair on Vi’s thighs. “I’m focussed. I want you to relax and enjoy this, let me make you feel good.”
“I am enjoying this.”
Caitlyn tugs the hair tie from her wrist to pull up her hair. “I’d like to eat you out.”
Vi coughs, gaze darting away. “Yeah?”
“Are you alright with that?”
“You’ve already got me naked in your bed.”
Caitlyn frowns. “If there’s something you’re uncomfortable with, or something you’d like to try, I want to know. You don’t have to feel pressured to do more just because we’ve done this much.”
“Thanks for the lecture on consent,” Vi interrupts, “but I want this. If you do?”
“I do,” Caitlyn breathes. Guilt twists knots inside her gut because as much as she wants this, the way she wants it is probably different from the way Vi wants it, and Vi doesn’t know that. She’ll tell her—just not yet. Not now.
“Okay.” Vi rolls her shoulders. “Then… we can keep going?”
“Yes.” Caitlyn stretches to drop a chaste kiss to Vi’s lips before moving back down. “We can keep going.”
She takes her time working Vi up again, kissing along her hips and abs, massaging her thighs and drawing teasing touches closer to Vi’s core until Vi is shifting impatiently beneath her.
Caitlyn reaches for one of Vi’s hands, bringing it to rest against the back of her head. “Here.”
Vi’s eyes widen. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Just don’t pull too hard,” Caitlyn says, squeezing Vi’s hand before bringing her palm back to Vi’s thigh. “I like feeling your hand there.”
It’ll give her extra insight into how Vi is feeling. It’s another point of connection. Vi’s fingers gently shift through the hair above Caitlyn’s ponytail.
Like everything else so far, Caitlyn starts slow. She kisses, licks, and sucks along Vi’s inner thighs. Each mark she leaves feels like a promise. She likes the idea of Vi having these little reminders of her. She likes feeling Vi’s muscle tense under her tongue, fingers tightening in her hair.
When Vi whimpers, a sweet little noise Caitlyn wouldn’t have imagined her capable of making, Caitlyn moves inward. She licks along Vi’s slit, gathering her wetness on her tongue.
“You taste good,” Caitlyn murmurs, pressing a kiss to Vi’s entrance before running her tongue along it again. She’s practically dripping. Caitlyn could easily slide two fingers into her, and she plans to in due time.
“You feel good,” Vi says, sounding somewhere between amused and disbelieving.
Caitlyn’s chest lights up at the praise. She’s never done this before, she’s never wanted to do this before. There had been other, easier, ways to get women off, on the few occasions Caitlyn actually had sex.
She laps gently at Vi’s clit, gently rubbing a finger at her slick opening. Vi’s body responds beautifully, trying to take her finger deeper inside herself.
“Yes,” Vi says, almost a moan.
Caitlyn presses her finger in until her knuckle is kissing Vi’s lips. Vi is wet and warm around her, andCaitlyn isn’t sure she enjoys the feeling of it, but she likes how turned on Vi is. She tongues Vi’s clit in little circles, and Vi tightens around her finger.
“Another finger,” Vi requests, voice breathy and low. Caitlyn has always loved Vi’s voice, but like this, it’s a whole other level. She’d really like to hear Vi beg for her in this tone.
Without removing her tongue from Vi’s clit, Caitlyn slowly presses her middle finger in alongside her index. Vi moans as it slides home, and then she begins to move. She rolls her hips, trying to ride Caitlyn’s fingers, unable to get much movement with their current positions. Another time, Caitlyn thinks, she’d like to have Vi on her lap, riding her fingers or a dildo, watching her move.
For now, she uses her free hand to press Vi’s hips to the bed, holding her in place. Then she gives a shallow thrust of her fingers. Vi groans.
“ Cait,” Vi breathes, seconds before she clenches around Caitlyn’s fingers and shakes apart.
Caitlyn would be happy to continue, to see how many orgasms she can wring from Vi before it’s too much, but Vi’s hands in her hair and around her shoulder pull her away and up.
Vi slams their lips together. She must be able to taste herself on Caitlyn’s lips, Caitlyn thinks with a spark of heat igniting in her gut. Part of her wants to try to take this further, see if she can achieve her own orgasm with Vi pressed against her. Until reality sinks back in.
As Vi catches her breath, Caitlyn withdraws her fingers. They shine in the light. For a moment, she imagines bringing them to Vi’s lips to let her suck them clean. That’s probably too much for Vi’s first time.
“I need to wash my hand.”
Caitlyn carefully extracts herself from Vi. She needs a moment to herself.
When Caitlyn returns to the bedroom, hands washed and teeth brushed, Vi is still spread out on their bed. She hasn’t bothered to wrap her hands or chest, nipples visible through the thin fabric of her tank top, a pair of shorts pulled over her hips.
Caitlyn’s stomach twists as she puts on a similar outfit, choosing shorts and a sweater with sleeves long enough to tuck her hands into the ends.
She joins Vi on the bed. Instead of the cuddles she’d been hoping for, they end up lying on their sides, facing each other but not touching. It reminds Caitlyn of the first time she and Vi had shared a bed.
“Are we gonna talk about why you don’t want me to touch you?” Vi’s voice is casual, but her gray eyes shine with hurt.
Caitlyn reaches for her, taking one of Vi’s hands in hers, running her thumb over bruised and scarred knuckles. “Of course I want you to touch me.”
“Not when we’re having sex.”
Caitlyn almost argues that she’d let Vi touch her the whole time, keeping several points of contact between them, enjoying Vi’s hands on her waist and in her hair. But she knows that’s not what Vi means. Her eyes drop to their hands. “Sex is… complicated for me.”
Vi’s hand slips from hers, but before Caitlyn can feel bad about it, Vi is brushing her knuckles along Caitlyn’s cheek. “Tell me?”
It isn’t easy to find the words, to force them through the tightness in her throat, but Caitlyn wants to try. She wants to believe Vi can know her and still choose to stay. “Do you know what asexuality is?”
A little wrinkle grows between Vi’s eyebrows as she frowns. “No.”
The answer is expected, but Caitlyn wishes she didn’t have to start with a vocab lesson.
“There are people who don’t experience sexual attraction, or who experience it less often or differently from most people. I’m one of them, I’m asexual.” Vi looks confused, so Caitlyn keeps going, “I’ve never looked at someone and thought they’re hot, I want to have sex with them. I’m not averse to sex, it just never seemed that important to me.”
Caitlyn pauses to breathe, trying to choose her next words carefully. She wants to explain it well, but she’s never been able to figure out how. “I want to have sex with you because I want intimacy, because I want to make you feel good. I’m not opposed to you… touching me, I just don’t know if I’ll react the way I should , the way you’d want me to.”
“You wouldn’t enjoy it?”
“I would,” Caitlyn hurries to reassure Vi, reaching for her hand again. “But I might not find it arousing. It’s difficult for me to orgasm around anyone else. I don’t always get turned on the same ways other people do, and I get in my head about it.”
“Okay,” Vi says slowly. “What turns you on then?”
Caitlyn’s face feels too warm. She rubs her thumb along her pointer finger as she says, “I’d enjoy you touching me, but not penetration. I have some toys we could try. And... ”
“What? Are you into something weird?”
“That depends on your definition of weird, I suppose.”
Vi’s eyebrows shoot up. “So you’re asexual and not really into sex, but you’ve got a secret fetish? Is it feet?”
Caitlyn can’t help her little laugh. “You know about foot fetishes?”
“I’ve heard stuff.”
At Babette’s? Or at Stillwater? At The Last Drop pre-Silco, perhaps?
“I’ve experimented with BDSM,” Caitlyn says in a rush. She doesn’t know which is more likely to scare Vi away—her asexuality, or her peculiar preferences. Maybe the strange combination will be too much for Vi.
“Oh. And you… liked it?”
Caitlyn has to look away again. She doesn’t want Vi to get the wrong impression, to think this has anything to do with social status, or with Caitlyn being a snooty Piltie. “I like having control over my partner, giving them pleasure. It’s not something we have to try, I’m happy just being with you—”
“Slow down, cupcake. I’m not saying no, just... tell me more? What kind of things do you like?”
The idea of Vi saying yes has Caitlyn’s heart racing in her chest. She’d been trying not to think about it, to keep herself from wanting it, but she really likes the idea of playing with Vi like that.
She swallows hard. Vi hasn’t said no, but she also hasn’t said yes. “Nothing too extreme. I’ve done bondage and sensation play. If we make it sexual, we could try edging and orgasm control, overstimulation. That sort of thing.”
Vi is flushed and wide-eyed, but she’s not running away. “Nothing too extreme, huh?”
“It’s—”
“Do you have rope?”
“Yes.”
Vi’s eyes dart around the room like she’s looking for it, like Caitlyn would leave her playthings somewhere obvious. “Can I see?”
Caitlyn nods, letting go of Vi’s hand so she can go to the closet and get the box she keeps tucked away behind her shoes. Vi sits up, rolling her shoulder, gaze intent on the box as Caitlyn sits it at the end of the bed.
It’s nerve wracking to show anyone her box, especially someone inexperienced in the scene, but Caitlyn hopes Vi will be intrigued by it at least. She’s still a little worried it’s going to be too much. Surely Vi hadn’t expected her first time to go like this.
Caitlyn takes the lid off the box.
Inside, there are three carefully-rolled spools of rope in shades of black and blue. A pair of handcuffs with soft insides sits on a satin blindfold. Some candles and a lighter lay beside a paddle and a massaging wand. A smaller box sits in one corner, holding sex toys. It’s not much, nothing compared to some of the other collections Caitlyn has seen, but Vi seems awestruck.
Vi extracts the handcuffs, letting them dangle from one hand as she smirks at Caitlyn. “You really like being an enforcer, don’t ya, cupcake?”
Caitlyn rolls her eyes, taking the handcuffs and brushing her finger over the soft interior. “They’re unrelated. This has nothing to do with work, and being an enforcer has nothing to do with my… proclivities.”
“Sure,” Vi says, smiling like she doesn’t quite believe her. She holds out her wrists, “Put them on?”
Caitlyn’s breath catches. “Now?”
“Won’t be the first time I’ve been cuffed.”
Caitlyn reasons that showing Vi the handcuffs isn’t necessarily indicative of a scene—something they should definitely talk about in more detail before trying. She moves behind Vi, gently tugging her wrists behind her back. “Tell me if your shoulder hurts.”
“Okay.”
Caitlyn clicks the handcuffs into place before dragging her fingers up Vi’s arms, over her forearms and then to the tattoos higher up. She traces them, mapping the dark lines, imagining framing them with rope. She’d love to do some kind of harness.
It takes Caitlyn seconds to notice Vi shifting under her fingers, but by the time her gaze goes to Vi’s wrists, she’s already worked her way out of one of the handcuffs and is undoing the other.
Caitlyn bites back a laugh. “Of course you’d be a brat.”
“Learned that when I was ten,” Vi brags, turning to face her and dropping the handcuffs in the box. “The ropes might work better, if you’re good at tying them.”
Vi looks so cute and happy that Caitlyn has to lean in to kiss her cheek. “You’re saying you’d spend the whole time trying to get out of any restraints I put you in? Even if I was… distracting you?”
Vi blinks, and Caitlyn realizes she may have overstepped. She clears her throat and closes the box, returning it to the closet while she waits for Vi to speak.
Before she does, she reaches for Caitlyn’s hand, taking it within her own. “Let me think about it.”
“Take all the time you need.”
She’ll understand if it’s too much or something Vi isn’t interested in, but a small part of her dares to hope. She buries it deep in her chest and leads Vi back to the bed to hold her close.