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Soap was convinced Ghost was going to split him in half. He could barely breathe, lungs desperate for a moment of calm, and every part of him was sore. Ghost’s fingers pressed hard into his soft flesh, leaving red marks that would soon bloom into bruises.
They’d been sparring for damn near two hours, and most of it was just Ghost letting Soap have fun for a few minutes before ending the fight in a few fell swoops. It was, frankly, unfair. He was sick and tired of being slammed into the mat like a kid at their first martial arts practice.
His salvation came in the simple form of a slap to the back and a “Good work, Johnny” after he’d pulled himself off the ground for the dozenth time. Letting out a sigh of relief, his entire body cringed at the ache that had settled in. “Hit the showers, you’re bloody minging.”
“You’re not any better, L.T. Smell like a fucking dog.”
“You’re the bloody dog, Johnny. Panting like you’ve just run a marathon. Your cardio will be the end of you out on the field.”
“Excuse you! My cardio is fan-fucking-tastic, L.T. You’re just a fucking superhuman cunt, you fucking bawbag. Need you studied in a bloody lab…”
They did their usual routine of passing insults and pushing each other a bit too roughly on their way to the gym locker room. Flushed and out of breath from his workout, it helped hide the excitement he got at every touch. Something about it got his heart racing and smile stuck in place.
It was some good old comradery. Nothing gay, or anything. Soap loved Ghost as a friend—a best friend, even—and that was it. The men around base would rib him about their friendship, laughing about how he’d make googly eyes every time the man showed some skin or gave him attention. They were just being assholes. They fucked with everyone like that.
Soap and Ghost were friends, and Soap was not gay. He liked girls well enough, even had a poster of one up in his childhood bedroom. He’d dated them before, too, had sex with even more, and figured he’d end up with one in the end—if he makes it that long. Too bad he was busy chasing his own death in the SAS.
So, it was evidently, undoubtedly, undeniably not gay when his breathing quickened in the locker room. It always did that, on account of the vulnerability of getting naked—or something like that. And his face only got hot as Ghost stripped next to him because of the heat, of course—lot’s of hot, sweaty bodies in one place.
Beside him, Ghost slipped off his shirt, then his pants, and his underwear. Hell’s fucking bells , how does a man get that large. Everywhere. Soap couldn’t look away, entranced as Ghost loosely wrapped his towel around his waist.
“Take a picture, Johnny. It’ll last longer.”
“Away and bile yer heid. I was just zoning out.” Looking away, Soap started to get undressed to shower. “Ugly bloody picture, anyway.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Ghost left him to stew in his own embarrassment.
Soap was just jealous, maybe even a little impressed. For anthropological reasons. Yeah, that was it. Ghost’s shoulders were wider than a goddamn fridge, built with hard muscle, and Soap just wanted that for himself. Soap’s attention getting stuck between Ghost’s thighs was just because he was mad his leg days hadn't been resulting in big enough gains. And his dick ? That was just a statistical anomaly. Anyone would be impressed by that.
Yup. Now that’s why he couldn’t look away.
In the shower, he turned on the cold water, trying his best to cool himself down. Rubbing his hands, coated generously in shampoo, aggressively through his hair, he took a deep breath. This was an argument he’d had with himself a lot.
It started when he was a kid, when he told the priest at his church he thought another boy in the congregation was cute. The man sat him down for a long talk, told him what it meant to be gay, why it’s wrong, how everyone has those thoughts and it’s all about how you react to them that decides what you are.
Soap didn’t care much for religion any more, and definitely didn’t use it to hate anyone—after he learned Gaz was gay, he realized it changed nothing, really—but that didn’t change the fact that he wasn’t gay.
If the thoughts were so easy to push down, washed down in the drain with the dirty water and shampoo, then they definitely weren’t important. If he never acted on them, never gave them more than a fleeting moment, then they weren’t his real feelings, right?
Everyone got them, intrusive thoughts and passing fancies, but only some actually felt called to them. So, when he was decidedly not thinking about Ghost’s fat pecs anymore, he set the argument back down. See, MacTavish? Gay thoughts dodged. He was straight as a goddamn arrow.
Stepping out of the shower, he held his head a little higher knowing he won the argument, again. It only made him more certain. A gay man wouldn’t pass the test so many times.
When he made it back to the locker room, he saw Ghost was already out, masked back up and silently getting dressed. Soap joined him, drying off and pulling on a new shirt.
As they started to finish up, he got a bit sad. They’d spent most of the day together—eating meals, finishing their work, exercising—but he still wasn’t too keen on ending their day there. Maybe it was a bit desperate, but he wanted to stay with Ghost. Because they were friends.
Pulling up his sweatpants, he bit the bullet. “Are you doing anything after this? There's a movie I want to watch and it was just released on streaming…”
“Asking me on a date, Johnny?”
“Fuck off. No . I just wanted to see if you wanted to join me, but if you’re going to make it—”
“I’m free. What’s the movie about?”
Completely forgetting what he was saying, Soap shifted into excitement. While pulling on his shoes and picking up his duffle bag, he tried to describe what he knew about the movie. Ghost followed behind him silently as they made their way back to his room, humming occasionally to let Soap know he was listening.
By the time they made it back, Soap had moved on from the movie specifically, ranting about the genre generally just to keep the conversation going. As he unlocked his door, he was complaining about how action movies are unrealistic, but if he ignored the inaccuracies they were the most fun movies to watch.
Ghost just let him talk, walking past him to take his shoes off and sit on the bed. Soap followed like it wasn’t his room, quieting down as he sat down beside Ghost.
Soap leaned down and pulled his computer out from under his bed before settling back against the flimsy bed frame. Ghost shifted beside him, trying to get comfortable on the pathetically small bed. As he did, Soap opened up his computer, typing in his password.
He hadn’t used it in a while, busy with work and deployments, so he looked at the power percentage nervously as everything loaded. It wasn’t completely dead, but it was getting dangerously close. Clicking on his web browser, he let it open while he reached down for his charger.
Feeling Ghost laugh more than he heard it, he looked up in confusion only to be met with the most mortifying sight he’d ever seen. ‘Young tomboy loses her anal virginity!!’ was in large, bold text above the most explicit thumbnail imaginable.
He forgot to close out of his fucking porn. “Oh, fucking shite—I’m sorry. Fuck.”
Scrambling to close out of the tab, he wasn’t expecting Ghost to grab the entire computer and hold it out of his reach. “Hold on, Johnny. I want to see what this movie is all about.”
“That’s not it, and you know it, you twat!”
“This looks more interesting.” Ghost pressed play, the loud intro starting before a cringey skit came on. It wasn’t his proudest nut, but he was desperate, pent up from a long mission, and needed something besides his hand and his thoughts. “Mint acting, innit?”
“Sod off, you bastard.” There was no use in fighting anymore; his dignity was already lost. “I bet you don’t watch anything better. Or are you one of those art freaks that only like their porn with a meaningful story.”
The girl on screen moaned as the man put his dick in, exaggerated and unattractive. Ghost chuckled, probably thinking the same thing. “I like my porn to be absolute rubbish, to be honest. The more amateurish and dodgy, the better.”
“ Dodgy , aye? You make it sound like you're watching some dark web shite.” If anyone would do it, it’d be Ghost, so he wasn’t too surprised with the response he received.
“I don’t nut and tell, Sergeant.” Ghost wasn’t watching the video anymore, scrolling through the recommended tab. It was horrifying, watching every fantasy and kink he’d ever looked into pass by in front of his Lieutenant’s eyes. “Fan of anal, Johnny? Dirty bastard.”
His response was a bit more defensive than he intended. “Aye, and what about it? Just don’t find the other hole that interesting.” Oh shite. That sounded a bit gay, didn’t it? “Not that I don’t like pussy!” Fuck…now that sounded too defensive.
“Wasn’t accusing you of that, Johnny.” Ghost laughed, and Soap relaxed. It was just a joke, some banter between buds. “What’s this?” Clicking on another video, he leaned back and laughed. “Definitely better than that movie.”
The video played in front of them, a female pornstar getting absolutely smashed into the mattress. Soap’s eyes were glued to the man’s dick slamming into her, wrecking her hole without mercy; it must feel fucking fantastic. He couldn’t help but squirm.
It was no surprise he was getting turned on. He could feel his dick hardening, leaking a bit in his sweats, and tried desperately to shift without alerting Ghost. Moving slowly, he tried to adjust himself in his pants.
But, of course, he couldn’t hide anything from Ghost. “Horny, Johnny? Fucking slag.” He could see the bastard smirk under his mask. “You can wank; I won’t judge. Well, maybe a little.”
“Fucking bolt, you rocket. I’m not wanking in front of you.” He’d done it plenty of times near Ghost, usually during long missions when he needed some quick release, but doing it while the man was right there, able to watch, made his stomach flutter nervously.
“Want me to join?”
Soap’s mind went blank. “What?”
“What, you’ve never wanked with your friends before? Or—aww, Johnny, are you shy? Have a bit of stage fright? I’ve seen your prick, it’s not that small—”
“Shut it!” He could feel his face blushing deep against his will. “You’re a fucking bawbag, you know that.”
None of this should be that strange to him. He could remember a time when he was young, at a friend’s house for a sleepover; they’d found the dad’s porn videos, hour long movies of hot nurses, cheating wives, and whatever else the man found hot. Obviously, as horny kids hitting puberty do, they watched them together all night, jerking off to the wonders of sex.
He hadn’t even thought about it at the time, excited to just see some naked people getting it on for the first time. Now, it felt more embarrassing to be doing it with someone else. Not to mention, with his lieutenant, no matter how close they’d gotten.
But as he watched the video, the man pulling out to let a line of cum slip out, he felt his dick twitch something fierce. “Fine. Come on.”
“Asking me to pull my prick out, Johnny?”
“I’m going to fucking kill you.”
Ghost just laughed as he did as he was told, pulling his sweats down just enough to pull out his dick. It was even bigger than it was earlier, blood making it thick and heavy with arousal. He swallowed harshly at how perfect it looked, blue veins winding under the skin and following the curve of the shaft.
Trying his best to ignore the goddamn skyscraper next to him, Soap pulled down his own pants. Resting the band under his ballsack, he tugged a few times to bring his own dick to life. It was quick to get fully hard, quicker than normal, and he wondered if it was the video Ghost picked.
Leaning back, he spit in his hand and moved to slowly coat his dick with it for an easier glide. Beside him, Ghost did the same, his fingers slipping over his shaft before circling his tip. Soap felt his mouth go dry as he turned back to the video.
It ended mere seconds later, so he clicked on the next one—a hardcore anal compilation. A few minutes longer than the other, he hoped it was long enough to get them through their session. As it started, women being pinned down and ravaged in succession, his attention quickly began slipping.
All he could hear was Ghost beside him, the slick noise of his hand rubbing up and down his cock, the heavy breaths that picked up as he got more excited, the occasional deep grunt when it felt particularly good. It freaked him out, making his fingers tingle nervously as he jacked himself off.
Keeping his eyes trained forward, he mechanically moved his hand up and down, up and down. While trying to ignore the annoying, high-pitched moans from the video, he tried to listen to anything else. It clued him into how close Ghost was, a low, uneven groan leaving his lips as he picked up speed. Soap moved faster with him.
He felt a warm feeling curling inside of him, buzzing electricity crawling up his toes and into his legs. He was close. The woman in the video moaned loud, but it was Ghost’s final groan that Soap heard as he came.
They came together, synchronized spurts of hot come sliding down the sides of their hands. They both continued to jerk off as they came down, cum oozing out of their tips until they were tapped out. Soap pulled his hand away when it became too much, his body starting to jerk with overstimulation.
Sitting there, he looked down at his hand, coated in cum, before glancing over at Ghost. The man’s head was back, eyes closed as his chest heaved with deep breaths. His dick was glistening with cum, limp against his stomach. Soap watched in awe.
“Just going to make us sit here in our cum, or do you have some bloody tissues.”
“Ah…” Broken out of his post-nut haze, he leaned over to grab the tissues from inside his drawers, pulling them out. He passed a few to Ghost. Pointedly ignoring the drop of Ghost’s cum he got on his hand during the exchange, he cleaned himself up and put his dick away.
Once he was done, he picked up his small trash can, holding it out for Ghost to toss his mess into. And with all the cleanup done, he had no clue what to do. Nothing had really changed. The world didn’t end, and Ghost didn’t seem to care at all about what they did.
And yet, at the same time nothing felt the same. He closed out of the porn tab in a daze, mouth dry and eyes unfocused. It was just a quick release of pressure with a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. There was nothing to worry about—
“We still have time, Johnny. Want to watch the movie?”
“Huh? Och, aye.” That was the command he needed to fully snap back to himself. Quickly, he busied himself with bringing up the movie he originally wanted to watch.
As it started, he settled back into the pillows and tried to act normal like Ghost was. It was nothing.
-
Somehow, they’d fallen into a routine, making a sort of ritual out of their mutual masturbation. Every other day or so, as long as they had the time, they’d meet up in Soap’s room for a ‘movie night.’ One of them would put on a porno, and they’d watch it together to jack off.
Sometimes they’d go a couple rounds if it’d been a while. Other times, they’d just knock one out before spending time hanging out, finishing work, or actually watching a movie.
It was painfully normal, like Ghost didn’t notice the smell of cum lingering long after they finished, like every time their hands touched each other, they didn’t know exactly where it had been moments earlier. Soap was drowning in it.
After eating dinner with the team, Soap started to make his way back to his room on base. He knew exactly what was happening when the sound of Ghost’s footsteps followed behind him. The man quickly caught up, nudging Soap gently with a shoulder. “Movie?”
“Aye, c’mon.”
They walked through base in silence, far too casual for what they were doing. Soap nervously glanced at everyone they passed like they would know. It felt wrong, no matter how many times they did it, and no matter how many times he convinced himself it was just friendly fun. Maybe it was just the Catholic guilt coming back to bite him in the ass.
Either way, he didn’t stop it when he let Ghost into his room, said nothing as the man picked up his computer to find a video he liked, and definitely didn’t complain as they pulled down their sweatpants together. They’d started pulling them down mid thigh to avoid getting a mess on their pants, and it made everything feel weirdly more intense for him.
Ghost started the video, “Tired teen gets knocked up while knocked out!!” The title was as horrific as always, but the video wasn’t too bad. He expected Ghost to be into some questionable shit, so he didn’t care about the theme. If anything, he was excited about a video where the woman wouldn’t ruin it with her fake moans.
The two of them relaxed, legs pressed against each other. Ghost’s right arm was behind Soap’s back, nowhere else to go on the small bed, and Soap’s left arm was awkwardly placed between them. One wrong move, and he’d be grabbing Ghost’s bare thigh, thick muscle and insulating fat covered with soft hair—
He pulled his eyes back to the video in front of them. The video was zoomed into the woman’s ass as the man pushed into it, a quiet grunt leaving his mouth as he bottomed out. An image of Ghost holding his waist like the man did, large hands completely enclosing it to push further in, flashed behind his eyes.
His mouth went dry as he pushed it away; just another intrusive thought. He didn’t even notice the way his dick twitched, pushing out a thin stream of precum. It was hard to think of anything when Ghost surprised him with a question.
“Ever thought about wanking each other off?”
His brain froze as he turned to Ghost, mask hiding any expression on his face. “What?”
“Ever thought about wanking each other off.”
“No, I heard you. Why would I think about that?” Did he look like he was thinking about that? Or was Ghost just being a dickhead again.
“When I wank too much, I get so used to my hand that it doesn’t feel the same. Thought it might be the same for you, so we could swap hands.” Oh yeah, because that makes perfect goddamn sense.
Soap tried to throw in a joke to ignore the thoughts that were interested in the proposal. “Rub your dick so raw you can’t feel it, L.T? Just how much do you wank?”
“Been wanking a lot more than I normally do since we started this. Your fault.”
“You’ve gone fucking mad, Ghost.” Shaking his head, he couldn’t help his curiosity. “Is that normal? Jerking your friend off?” Even with all his time in the military, he’d never gone that far, but he wouldn’t be surprised with how horny young guys get.
“Why would it? It’s only weird if you make it.”
And how could he argue that? Ghost was being so casual about it, he was sure other people did it. It’s all about intent, isn’t it? Plenty of straight people help each other out because people need release. He’d heard about it happening in prisons all the time, and what was the military barracks if not a diet prison cell.
Yeah, that’s right. It’s not gay if they’re just helping each other. It’s just being a good friend. And, by god, was Soap dedicated to being a good friend to Ghost.
Slowly, he pulled his hand out from where it was trapped between their bodies. It slowly glided over Ghost’s thigh, nervous and unsure. The skin contact felt electric, and he wasn’t sure if that was a warning to stop. God wouldn’t smite him for this, right? It was charity. That’s a virtue!
“You sure about this, L.T.?” His hand stopped just shy of Ghost's dick, resting in the crease between his torso and thigh.
“Sure am. Are you? You seem nervous.”
“I’m not… just a wee bit out of my depth.”
“You’ve been wanking off a dick for two decades, mate. If you don’t know what to do, I think we’ve got bigger problems.” Ghost laughed and it only made him more embarrassed.
“Sod off. Come on, we’re doing this.”
Sarcastically mumbling a, “yes sir,” Ghost twisted in place so he could reach his left arm over to Soap’s dick. His right arm was still behind Soap’s shoulders, making him push into Soap’s side to be able to reach. He could feel Ghost’s breath against his neck, warm and wet. It tickled, making each hair stand on end.
Ghost grabbed his dick without much fanfare, pulling up with a flick of the wrist. And, God, he was right. It felt completely different with someone else's hand touching him. Ghost’s hands were more calloused, bigger, and thicker than Soap’s were. It felt completely foreign, and so good.
When Ghost spoke, it was quiet, breathed right into his ear. “Going to leave me hanging, Johnny?” He had to stop himself from cumming on the spot.
“Sorry, here.” Moving his hand, Soap finally grabbed a hold of Ghost’s dick. It was just as heavy as he thought it would be and thick enough that his hand could barely wrap around it. He swallowed a lump in his throat, trying to get down the extra saliva pooling as Ghost opened his legs further to give him more room to stroke him off.
There was a scar on Ghost’s thigh he never noticed, curling around the muscle and pulling at the pale skin. Would it be weird to run his hands over it? He wanted to feel the way the skin gives under his fingertips, the way it would during their sparring matches, leaving a memory of what they did in the bruised skin. Was that going too far?
Deciding he wasn’t going to chance it, he put all his effort into jerking Ghost off. He kept time with the man’s hand, moving up and down on the rhythm Ghost set. Their hands made wet noises as they pushed around their precum, their foreskin slipping up and down over their glands.
His hips stuttered forward as Ghost sneaked a teasing thumb under his to rub the head. It felt so fucking good, like pure electricity through his veins. Ghost laughed breathily, shifting to lean more of his weight on Soap’s shoulder. “Eager, aren’t you, Johnny.”
Trying to look for something to say, he stumbled out something that sounded like a denial in his head. “Feels a lot different from my hand.” When the words were out, though, they sounded a lot more like a confession.
“Never got a handjob before?”
“It’s just never felt like this.” He licked his dry lips, pressing them together to stave off a moan. “Your hand’s fucking class.”
“That’s a shame, Johnny.” The nickname made something inside him quake. “Good thing I can show you how it’s supposed to be done.”
Good thing was right. Every time he’d let a girl rub him off, it felt pretty lackluster. Still good, obviously—he was getting his dick touched—but nothing like this. It felt like his cock was meant to be in rough hands rather than soft, manicured ones.
Ghost groaned in his ear as he moved his hand just right, deep and guttural. The air was sweltering, and he was sweating under his hoodie from it. Everything felt flush, his body hot like it was running a fever. All he could do was watch the way Ghost’s dick twitched in his hand and hope he didn’t melt away.
Their hands sped up as they got impatient, erratic and out of sync with each other. Soap’s head fell to the side, bumping into Ghost’s forehead as his toes began to curl in his socks. A shuddering sigh left him as Ghost pressed the right buttons, his muscles pulling tight as he came.
It felt amazing, like nothing before; none of his previous orgasms felt world-shattering like that one did. He was lost on cloud nine. stuck letting each of his nerves calm down and his shuddering bones relax after the tsunami wave of pleasure.
His eyes had closed at some point, and he opened them to the image of his hand around Ghost’s limp dick, the man’s cum slowly dripping down his fingers. Ghost was breathing hard against his shoulder, masked nose brushing against the sensitive skin. Turning his head, Soap let their breath mix in the air between them.
Ghost’s eyes were lidded, blinking slowly at Soap while he came back to reality. It felt like time stopped between them; nothing else existed besides the two of them and an all-enveloping heat.
Blinking through the haze they found themselves in, Soap turned to grab the tissues subconsciously. And just like every other time, they cleaned themselves up. They had completely forgotten about the porn they were watching; the video had long since finished, abandoned for so long his computer screen dimmed.
Casually, Ghost leaned back in Soap’s bed once all the evidence of their deeds were gone; his arms behind his head as he yawned. “Great work, Johnny. Told you you could do it.”
His neck warmed at the words, embarrassment taking over. “Thanks, L.T…” He laughed nervously. What the hell do you say in that kind of scenario? “You weren’t half bad yourself.”
Voice deep and threatening, his glare burned a hole through Soap. “Watch it, MacTavish.”
“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.”
-
Something was wrong with his brain. He hadn’t been able to get that night out of his head. It felt like every time he closed his eyes he was picturing Ghost’s dick in his hand, feeling his breath against his neck, hearing him moan into his ear. Ghost was fucking haunting him.
It made sense; the man had given him one of the best handjobs of his life. If anything, he might just be jealous of man's skill with his hands. Nobody had ever created an experience like that. He didn’t even know sex could be that nice, let alone masturbation .
He was going crazy, scrubbing himself clean in the shower days later, feeling like he could still feel Ghost’s cum oozing down his hand. What was happening to him? And why did he want to do it again? It was just supposed to be a nice gesture for Ghost, not something for himself.
Fuck, was that gay? Not only had he done something gay—that is, if he could count jacking his best friend off as gay—he’d enjoyed it, right? That seemed like a cut and dry case of gayness. It’s exactly what his priest warned him about back in middle school.
And yet, something wasn’t sitting properly in his mind. Just because he enjoyed getting his dick touched doesn’t mean he was gay. Anyone could have made him feel that way, Ghost was just the lucky bastard who got there first.
Back in his room, his internet search history was getting more confusing by the minute. He’d been scouring the internet to find anything that would help him figure out the chaotic feelings that wouldn’t leave him alone.
He was on message boards, reading about straight guys experimenting with their friends. It definitely didn’t seem uncommon for two friends to jack off together, or for them to watch porn together. Plenty of them said they did it and had girlfriends, wives, or were certain they were straight. So the act itself didn’t mean anything, and they all enjoyed it just like he did.
Their sexual exploits were completely different from their romantic and sexual feelings.
When he felt pretty certain he was okay after reading their stories, he started clicking onto other boards that caught his attention. It wasn’t until he got halfway through a conversation between gay men, discussing how they realized they were gay that his certainty started slipping back away.
One wrote about how he always knew, being a little boy obsessed with feminine things and wanting to spend time with the girls; Soap couldn’t relate less. Another lamented about how he always felt strange and different from his peers for not being interested in dating; well, that’s normal, isn’t it?
Soap was too busy as a teen playing sports or trying to get shit to explode to worry about girls. Sure, his friends occasionally brought up having crushes or dating someone, but it was normal to prefer spending time with his football team over any of the girls. It’s not like they had anything in common with him.
Someone else wrote that he fell in love with his best friend, constantly wanting to be around him and looking forward to a future spent with him. Jokes on them, Soap was too busy being property of the state to worry about any kind of future, let alone one with his male best friend.
The final response on the post was what stuck out to him, though. Short and sweet. “I sucked my friend’s dick and realized I liked it.” Now that was something Soap could test. He’d read about plenty of guys jacking each other off, but oral seemed a lot more personal. Not to mention, there would be no way to excuse the enjoyment because he wouldn’t be getting touched.
It seemed foolproof… until he thought about how to actually try it out. He’d have to ask Ghost to suck his dick. Well, he could ask any guy to pull it out for him, but he preferred the idea of Ghost being there with him. His brain told him it was a safety thing, knowing he can trust Ghost implicitly.
Unfortunately, he had no idea how to even broach the topic. They had done plenty of shit together, knew a good handful of each other’s kinks based on the porn they chose, but maybe this was too far. He had no clue where the boundaries were anymore, or if there even were any anymore.
Instead of worrying about that, though, he decided to focus on the blowjob part of the equation. He had no clue how to suck dick. He’d had his dick sucked enough to know that teeth didn’t feel that great, and focusing on the tip always felt better, but that was about it.
Switching his tab to the porn site he usually uses, he went searching for some help. There were plenty of videos talking about how to give a blowjob, some of them just foreplay and some of them actually educational. Clicking on the first one, he started to make his way through them.
On the side, he started looking through a few blogs and websites to see what tips they had. He jumped into it with the same fervor he had when defusing a bomb or solving a tough equation, trying to commit every line to memory.
He wasn’t even sure how long he’d been at it, watching different women suck a multitude of different dicks, when a knock sounded at his door.
“Shite.” Shutting his laptop, he adjusted himself in his pants and went to the door. Slowly, he opened it enough to pop his head through. “What the fuck do you want—oh, Ghost.”
Opening the door properly, he looked for the man to explain himself. “Hey, Johnny. Movie?”
Of course. Well, this was his chance, wasn’t it? He could just bring it up casually, the same way Ghost had done several times already. Stepping aside, he let Ghost enter before closing the door.
“You know… I was just thinking…” He shifted nervously as Ghost moved over to the bed, plopping down like he’d done dozens of times before. And before he could say anything, he watched the man open the computer up.
It felt like a replay of that first night when their masturbation sessions started. Ghost looked at it for a split second before nodding in understanding. “Want to try giving a blowjob?”
“Is that weird? For a bloke to give a friend a blowjob, I mean.”
“Weird? Not really. Ever heard of a bro job?” It had come up on the internet, but he wasn't sure it was real. Ghost said it like it was, though, like it was something everyone should know. “You up for it?”
“I guess… I’ve never done it before, though. Can’t say it’ll be any good.”
“S’what practice is for. You used to be right shite at knife throwing before we did some training.”
“Fuck off, I wasn’t that bad.” He could see the way Ghost’s eyebrow rose under the mask. “Fine, but I better not hear you fucking complain, you bastard.”
“Never.” Laying back in Soap’s bed, propped up on the pillows, Ghost slipped his hands under the band of his sweatpants and briefs, thumbs hanging over the edge. His eyes, dark and unreadable, were glued to Soap’s. “You ready, Johnny?”
Soap couldn’t help but swallow harshly. He wasn’t, he really wasn’t, but there was no going back. “Aye, L.T.”
Those hands began to slip down, pulling the fabric of his pants down with them. Soap’s eyes were drawn to Ghost’s stomach, the way the light, wispy hairs led downwards. Following it, he watched the base of Ghost’s dick appear slowly.
Inch by inch, he pulled them down. His dick was still limp, laying flaccidly against his thigh. The foreskin covered its head, but it couldn’t cover the thick veins trailing down it, pulsing and thrumming with Ghost’s heartbeat.
Suddenly, Soap’s mouth went dry. He’d felt the damn thing when it was hard; how the fuck was he supposed to fit it into his mouth. Everyone joked he had a big mouth, but he wasn’t sure that would help him here.
Noticing the trepidation, Ghost sighed and picked up the computer. He fiddled with it briefly before turning the computer around and setting it next to his hips. “Here. Follow what she’s doing.”
A porno was on the screen, the scenario similar to their own. A man was laying on the bed, a woman over him, getting ready to suck him off. Yeah, that made sense. He was good at following instructions, good at shadowing to get down the basics. He could do this.
Climbing between Ghost’s legs, he pulled off his shirt. Best not to ruin the thing if it gets messy.
He watched the girl on the screen for his next move; together, the two of them reached out to the men’s dicks. He jerked Ghost off quickly to get him hard, his hand moving in a familiar rhythm. It was turning into a second nature to him, his hand recognizing the feel of Ghost’s dick like it was his own.
Slowly, it started to rise as Ghost got excited, the head peeking out as the foreskin pulled back. Soap’s mouth began to salivate at the sight. It really was something to behold, a fucking monster of a cock.
With Ghost hard, he glanced back over to the video, and followed as the girl laid down, her tongue moving to lave over the side of the dick. As Soap lowered himself down, his eyes level with Ghost’s dick, he felt his heart start to race. It was really fucking happening.
His nose brushed against the man’s cock as he tentatively licked it, and it was like every nerve lit up at once. Even after showering earlier, Ghost smelled like musk, warm and earthy, and the taste of hot skin sent Soap’s taste buds into overdrive.
Glancing over to the video, he moved up the shaft, leaving a trail of saliva as he made it to the tip. He tried to mimic the way her tongue moved around the glands, circling each side and licking up the slit.
Feeling a bit more confident, his eyes flicked back to Ghost. The man was looking down at him with more intensity than ever. It felt like he was a bug pinned in place, every movement of his tongue being watched dutifully.
As Soap moved back down, one hand slowly jacking Ghost off while he dragged his tongue against any of the skin left behind, the man let out a sigh of pleasure. It made Soap’s hands sweat and stomach turn. He was doing that, he made those noises come from Ghost.
Just when he was starting to feel confident, the girl in the video took the man’s dick into her mouth. Hesitantly, he tried to sink his mouth down on Ghost’s cock.
Keyword being tried . Ghost was longer than average by a fair bit, but the real killer was the girth. The man was just so unreasonably large, the corners of Soap’s mouth stretching to its limits as he took it in.
Barely three inches down, he had to pull off. It was frustrating, not being good at it. He was always quick to learn and a natural talent, but something about this was harder than he'd ever done.
He noted that as a possible sign of his sexuality before diving back down to fully swallow Ghost’s tip.
Bobbing his head up and down, Soap tried to go through the checklist from the tutorials he watched: no teeth, use a hand to reach the parts you can't, try to use some tongue, and keep a steady rhythm. He needed to do this, and he needed to do it right.
Above him, he was watching for any reaction from Ghost. His eyes were lidded but still peered down at Soap, unblinking like he didn't want to miss a moment. Soap felt like he was under a microscope, like everything was riding on this, so he put a bit more back into it.
Forcing himself to take more in, he felt Ghost's fat cock graze the back of his throat. A sigh left the man's mouth as he swallowed, and Soap couldn't have been prouder. His moment of joy was quickly soured by his gag reflex.
With a choked gag, he pulled off to take a deep breath.
“Fucking hell, Johnny. Nobody’s going to take it from you.” Ghost laughed, brushing back a strand of hair that fell out of Soap’s mohawk.
God, did he look that desperate? He hoped not, but he could feel the spit coating his chin and thought of a guard dog with his bone. It felt uncomfortable revealing.
On impulse, he bit back. “Sod off, you bawbag, or I swear to fuck I’ll leave you blue balled and neutered.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time—”
Soap squeezed Ghost’s dick threateningly. “Don’t want another word from you, or else.”
Getting the hint, Ghost just said a quick “right” before reaching down and grabbing the edge of his hoodie; bringing it up, he bit on the hem, keeping his newly exposed mouth shut and giving a full view of his stomach.
It was nothing Soap hadn’t seen before, but looking up at the man’s torso, thick abs hidden under a layer of fat, was different than catching glimpses in the locker room. He felt his dick give a twitch as he dove back down to suck on Ghost’s cock.
He tried working his way back down to where he was before gagging, using his hand to gently fondle Ghost’s balls in the meantime. He tried to be as gentle as possible, massaging them with light touches. They were warm and soft, and he loved the feeling of them.
Pulling off after another gag, having gone just slightly further down, he moved to lick up Ghost’s balls while he took a breath. Looking up as he sucked on one of them, he watched the way Ghost’s eyes rolled back lightly and he moaned around the fabric in his mouth.
Soap cursed himself for telling him to be quiet, knowing he quite liked when the man made noise. Because it let him know he was doing well, obviously. And because it was awkward with the only sound being his mouth sucking and the porn video playing next to them. Yeah.
When he’d gotten his fill of Ghost’s sack, he glanced back over to the computer. The woman was really going in, pushing down to the base of the man’s dick before pulling off and starting again. He needed to get that deep.
Redoubling his efforts, Soap went back down and tried to will his gag reflex away. Tears sprang from his eyes as he pushed further down, constantly pushing against his throat’s limits. He was going to take Ghost in fully if it was the last thing he did.
Bobbing up and down, he kept trying to get his throat to stretch further, for his muscles to relax enough to let Ghost slip down. Centimeter by centimeter, he felt himself opening up, the man’s dick going deeper and deeper into his esophagus.
His dick was fully erect in his sweats, oozing precum as his eyes watered. It was all just so much; Ghost’s scent was all around him, his taste on Soap’s tongue and moans in his ears. His throat was hurting from the rough entries, jaw aching to shut for more than a few seconds. The pain just mixed with the feeling of his hard dick rubbing against the fabric of his pants and fell away.
It was all so overwhelming, and he finally understood what the men on those boards were talking about. Nothing was really like it. He felt like he was suffocating from it all, smothered in the feeling, and it was driving him mad.
Flicking his tongue against the solid ridge of Ghost’s frenulum, he gave his head one final push. His nose grazed the hair on Ghost’s pelvis as he fully swallowed the man, his throat tensing around the intrusion but not trying to push it out. He’d done it.
Finally victorious, he grinned as he pulled up, just until the tip was left and slid back down. He could barely see Ghost above him through the tears, but he knew the man must have been proud.
A hand felt up Ghost’s balls, feeling the way they contracted and drew up into his body. He was close. He was close because of Soap. God, maybe he was good at this.
With one final bob of his head and a gentle squeeze of his hand, Soap brought him to his climax. Salty cum oozed into his mouth, the dick twitching as it emptied itself out inside him.
As he came, Ghost dropped the hem of his hoodie from his mouth, letting out a deep groan and throwing his head back. Soap felt accomplished in a way he’d never had, feeling Ghost’s dick finally go limp as the last spurts of cum fell onto his tongue.
Pulling off, his satisfied smirk fell as he realized he had no idea what to do with the cum. Fuck, does he swallow it? Or is it better to spit it out? The tutorials he watched were on dildos or ended before they came, and the video Ghost picked had the guy cum on the girl’s face.
In the middle of Soap’s mental scrambling, his hands trying to decide if it’s supposed to be catching the cum or what, Ghost came back to the land of the living. He reached out, grabbing Soap by the back of the neck and pulled him in for a kiss.
Immediately, their faces smashed together, noses crushed against each other's cheeks. Ghost still tried to push further, like he wanted to devour him whole, only content when his tongue pushed past Soap’s lips and licked his own spend from Soap’s mouth.
Something inside him snapped at that, his body shivering as he came in his pants. He moaned, guttural and raw, the noise greedily swallowed up by Ghost’s desperate mouth. Twitching from the sensation, he didn’t even notice the way the cum slid down his legs.
There was no way that fucking happened.
Ghost must have realized it did fucking happen, his leg twitching where Soap’s cum started to seep through his pants. With a hand under Soap’s jaw, Ghost pushed him away just enough to breathe—not that Soap could inhale anything other than the air Ghost panted out. “Did you just—”
“Don’t fucking say it… but aye.”
Laughing in disbelief, Ghost let his head fall back onto the pillows. “Guess it isn’t a stretch to say you enjoyed that.” With the bottom of the mask up, he could see Ghost’s crooked smile. “You know, I’m not convinced that was your first time. You did better than most veterans.”
He’d gotten head enough to know that?
…Why the fuck did that annoy him?
Soap always assumed that Ghost was too private and reclusive to actually get any, let alone enough to compare. He could barely imagine Ghost with some pretty girl sucking him off, her ugly lipstick leaving red marks on his dick.
Maybe that was the problem, the idea that he had the wrong impression about his friend. He hadn’t known Ghost was that sexually active, and it made him feel like a bad friend, like he didn’t know the man. Yup, that’s it.
Moving to collapse next to Ghost on the bed, he laughed. “High praises there, Ghostie. Carefully, or I might just get a big head.”
“Like it can get any bigger.”
-
When Ghost finally left for the night, Soap sat and stared at the wall in thought. So, he was having gay thoughts. He definitely liked whatever the fuck they’d done, and he’d been pretty consistently acting on those thoughts. That probably made him gay, right?
But it wasn’t set in stone. Soap had no idea if he just liked sucking dick because he has a weird fixation with things in his mouth. He had always liked chewing gum, biting his pens, or licking straws, so maybe this was just an extension of that.
The kiss… well that might just have been him getting caught up in the moment. He’s not sure there’s another excuse for liking that as much as he did.
So obviously, he had no idea if all that excitement was due to being gay! Maybe he liked sucking dick or getting handjobs from guys in a purely sexual way. Doesn’t mean he’s into guys, or that he wants to spend his life with one.
Yeah, there were still too many variables to figure out. He’d have to keep experimenting until he’s certain.
-
Soap bit nervously at his nail as he clicked an answer on the screen. He’d been at it for nearly an hour, taking every “am I gay” quiz on the internet. They’d been inconsistent. Some told him he was bisexual, others told him he was just generally queer, others felt too stereotypical to be of any use. Overwhelmingly, though, they told him he was gay.
The screen went white as it loaded his results. In bold, rainbow letters—
He slammed shut his laptop.
That didn’t mean much of anything, did it? What would some stupid quiz know about him? Things were far too nuanced to glean his sexuality from his dream job or favorite meal from a chain restaurant. Right?
But if those quizzes didn’t work, what the hell would?
Wait—he has a gay person he could ask. If anyone would be able to tell him what being gay is, then it would be the actively practicing homosexual.
Nervously, Soap made his way towards Gaz’s room. It was late, so the man was likely in his room for the night. Soap almost wished he wasn’t so they didn’t need to have the conversation that was bouncing around in his head.
He knocked on the door, silently hyping himself up. When Gaz finally opened the door with a smile, he contemplated running. The man’s smile dropped as he looked Soap up and down, stepping aside to pull Soap into the room.
“Tav? What’s up, mate?” He closed the door behind him, watching Soap curiously.
For a second, Soap thought he could do this, but then all the carefully constructed questions he’d formulated to get an answer without really asking blew away with the wind. “Gaz, I think I might be gay.”
The tension in Gaz’s shoulders dropped, realizing this wasn’t quite as serious as he thought. “What makes you think that?”
Soap sat on Gaz’s bed, shifting awkwardly from side to side. It took him a second to settle, both his body and his mind. “I’ve been… having thoughts about Ghost. Gay thoughts. I think.”
“Well, case closed, then.” He held his hands out like it was obvious. “And, really? Ghost?”
“No, no, but that’s not all it is, right? Everyone has gay thoughts, it’s the way you act on those thoughts that matter.”
Gaz let out a long-suffering sigh. “Tav… no. Straight people do not have gay thoughts. Not consistently, at least.”
“That can’t be right…” His old priest would have some explaining to do, then. “They always said you were gay if you actually did something gay.”
“Gay people who can’t get laid are still gay.” Gaz laughed to himself. “But, I mean, how many times have you sucked his dick?”
“Just once.”
Blinking dumbly, Gaz waited for Soap to say anything else. When nothing came, he stuttered out a disbelieving, “Seriously?”
“No, I sucked it sillily—yes, seriously!” Soap suddenly felt self-conscious, his anxiety rising.
“And you enjoyed it?”
“A lot.”
“That’s pretty bloody gay, even by your standards, Tav. Is that all you two did?”
“No. We’ve wanked with each other and wanked each other off,” he held his hands out defensively, “but we never had sex!”
“Yeah, I think that’s the least of my worries, mate.” Pinching his nose bridge in frustration, a move that made him look too much like Price for Soap’s comfort, Gaz breathed in deep. “So, you’ve been having gay thoughts about Ghost, fooled around with him, and enjoyed it? And why don’t you think you’re gay?”
“This has never happened before! I was always fine with shagging girls and leaving it at that, so I’m a little confused about everything happening right now.” Sighing, he rubbed his forehead. “I just need to know if you think I’m gay!”
“I can’t answer that for you, Tav… that’s something you need to figure out.”
“But I can’t! That’s the fucking problem.” Before Gaz could respond, Soap’s mind had a lightbulb moment. “Maybe I just need to try gay sex. That would confirm it, aye?”
Gaz was stunned into silence, breaking it with a dramatic shrug of his shoulders. “Why the bloody hell not? And why not wank to some gay porn while you’re at it.”
“You know what? You’re fucking right!”
Eyes turning up to the sky like he was praying for God to put him out of his misery, Gaz seemed to hit his limit. “That solves it, then. If you like it, then you’re gay. Now get the hell out of my room.”
On his way out, Soap saluted the man for his help. All Gaz did was shake his head.
-
After their conversation, Soap pushed off his new mission. Part of him was still scared of the answer he’d come to, and the other half was just nervous about trying anal for the first time. He’d continued to get off with Ghost when asked, even giving him head again, but didn’t want to try anything new.
So he waited until it was late, an hour or so after when Ghost would normally show up, and decided it was finally time. Laying back in bed, he quickly stripped. His shirt went first, thrown somewhere on the other side of the room. His pants went next, dropped lazily off the side of the bed, and his underwear quickly followed.
His laptop was opened to the site him and Ghost always used, their personal tastes in porn battling on the recommended feed. Bypassing all the videos of women being fucked, he went to the navigation bar and clicked on the button to change it to all gay porn.
It felt humiliating, the banner turning into the rainbow flag and a nice big “gay” being slapped onto the end of the website’s logo. It couldn’t be less subtle if they tried.
Not wanting to spend hours looking through the infinite thumbnails of rock hard abs, hairy thighs, and huge dicks, he just clicked on the first recommended one. It started with two muscular men kissing in bed, groping each other like their life depended on it. God, what he would give to be grabbed like that.
He should ask Ghost to spar tomorrow.
Reaching into his bedside drawer, he pulled out the fresh bottle of lube he’d bought from the store before settling back into the mattress. He’d done a lot of research about anal online and had some experience on the giving end, but it still didn’t help him feel relaxed as he hyped himself up to finally do it.
Instead, he just slowly jacked himself off to the video, watching one of the men hump the other’s leg as they made out. Fuck, it was hot. He was getting excited, his breathing getting faster and body heating up. The way they grunted, voices deep and rough, did something to him.
The video cut, skipping forward to one of the men sticking his dick into the other man, and it seemed like the perfect time to follow suit. Popping open the lid to the lube, Soap coated two fingers before closing it. He reached down, opening his legs and pressing the two digits against his hole.
It was cold; he shivered against it, gently circling his fingers as he watched the video in front of him through his legs. Slowly, he eased one finger into his hole. The first few seconds stung, his asshole not used to anything coming in from that end; he let the tip of his finger sit there until it died down into a vague discomfort.
Slowly, he pressed his finger deeper as he watched the men fuck each other on the screen. What would it be like if he was doing that instead? He could imagine strong hands grabbing his waist, pulling him down onto a thick cock over and over again. Would it feel good?
Once his knuckle reached the rim of his hole, he pulled back out; the feeling of his finger dragging against his walls was amazing, and he slowly started to jerk himself off as he fingered himself.
Closing his eyes and listening to the audio of the video, he imagined Ghost with him: the rough fingers he’d felt on his dick splitting him open, hot breath tickling his neck as Ghost finally pushed his dick in, and a strong chest pressed against his back, skin sticking together from sweat. Fuck, this is what he’d always wanted, wasn’t it?
Imagining Ghost’s voice, deep and affectionate, as it called out his nickname, he slipped in a second finger. It stretched him further, a twinge of pain mellowing into a pleasant ache. Opening one eye, he watched the video, moving his fingers to the rhythm of the two men.
He was entranced by it—watching with bated breath as the top’s hands roamed the bottoms chest while he thrusted—when suddenly, over the sound of the video, he heard a knock on the door.
As though he manifested it, a voice called out. “Johnny?”
Shit. He thought that Ghost wasn’t going to show up. He’d even waited to make sure he wouldn’t. And here he was, naked in bed, two fingers up his ass as he watched gay porn. How the fuck would he explain this? Maybe if he just pretends to be asleep, he wouldn’t have to explain anything.
Before he could decide what he was going to do, he heard the handle of the door turn without resistance. Why the fuck hadn’t he locked it? Double shit.
Ghost stepped through the door, and Soap froze the moment they made eye contact. “Having fun without me, Johnny?” A loud, masculine moan came from the video, and Ghost’s eyebrows went up in surprise. Finally, he seemed to realize Soap was two knuckles deep inside himself. “Didn’t know you were into that kind of fun.”
Pulling his fingers out, he shut the laptop at mach speed. “It’s–It’s not what it looks like.”
Despite the horror Soap was feeling, Ghost seemed to be pretty amused. “Really? Because I’m not sure there’s any other way to interpret this. Care to explain?”
Fuck. Suddenly, every neuron in his brain died, not a single message being sent as his mind shut down. “Just… trying some stuff out. Out of curiosity…” He couldn’t help but cringe at himself. What the fuck kind of excuse was that?
“Oh. Well, your fingers are nothing like the real deal, innit?” Tilting his head to the side, Ghost crossed his arms. “How would you like a real prick in you?”
Soap was stupefied as he looked at Ghost, mouth agape. “Like… yours?”
The man didn’t answer, just kept staring. Soap could feel his eyes burning holes through him. He felt exposed, and not just because he was sitting naked on his bed. Nervously, he glanced over to the computer. This was what he wanted, right? This would answer if it was all in his head or if he really was gay.
When his eyes flicked back to Ghost’s, he could see the smile behind the mask. The fucker already knew the answer. “Be gentle, please. I’ve never done this before.”
“No promises.” Ghost made his way over to the bed, pushing the laptop to the side to sit. “On your hands and knees, Johnny.”
Turning around, he did as instructed; he kept his eyes trained on the bedsheets in an attempt to ignore the embarrassment he felt with his ass up for his lieutenant. Behind him, Ghost popped open the lube and coated his fingers before grabbing his hips.
Two fingers found his hole and immediately pressed in. He couldn’t help the borderline squeal that left him. “Warn a man, won’t you?”
Ghost just hummed noncommittally, focusing his energy on thrusting his two fingers in and out. They were thicker than Soap’s were and longer, reaching further in than he could. The callouses on his hand, built up from years of work, were rough against his inside. It felt addicting.
Panting lightly, he tried to look back at what Ghost was doing. Out of nervousness, he made a cheeky joke. “When you said you’d put a prick in me, I didn’t think this is what you meant.”
Only sparing a quick sidelong glance, Ghost sighed. “I was just trying to make sure you're arse is prepped enough to take my dick, but if you're going to call me a prick—”
As the man's fingers went to pull out, Soap pressed his hips back into them. “No! Just taking the piss, L.T.”
“S’what I thought.” Under his breath, he sighed. “Bloody brat.”
They fell back into silence as Ghost worked more lube into him, scissoring his fingers to stretch Soap even further. It felt amazing, the way his fingers would push down on his walls, prying him open as they caressed every nerve.
He was already slipping away from pleasure, face lazily smushed into the mattress, when Ghost’s fingers vanished. Whining, he turned to see what the man was doing and got a much better gift.
Standing briefly, Ghost pulled his shirt over his head, every muscle of his back shifting with the movement. Soap watched them with bated breath. Throwing the shirt to the ground, he moved to pull his pants and underwear down, bending to give Soap a perfect view of his ass.
Jesus H. Christ. He needed that man like he needed water.
Turning back around, he stared at the pillow in front of him in stiff realization. That was fucking gay. Still, there was no backing out, now. He needed to be sure beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Climbing up onto the bed behind Soap, Ghost grabbed his hips and lined himself up. The head rested against his hole, and he felt his heart in his throat as he felt just how big it was.
“Take it slow, aye? Not sure I can take—” He was cut off by Ghost pushing in. Letting out a deep groan, he tried to relax through the stinging stretch. “Fucking prick was right.”
“Sorry, Johnny.” No he wasn't. Soap could hear the amusement in his voice as he continued to sink deeper into his hole. “Just couldn't help myself.”
All Soap could do was hold onto the bed sheets for dear life as he was split open. Ghost’s fingers barely scratched the surface of how much he needed to stretch. The man's cock rubbed against every inch of his insides, sending every nerve into overdrive.
Inch by inch, Ghost pushed in without any reprieve. It hurt in the best way, and Soap was trembling by the time the man was fully bottomed out. He felt full, his guts stuffed completely by Ghost; it was a foreign feeling, but oh so good.
“Hell's bells, L.T. Can feel you in my damn stomach.” Slowly, he led one hand down to press down on his lower stomach. When Ghost groaned in response, he couldn't help but moan.
“And here you were, telling me you've never done this before. Your arse was practically made for taking dick.” Ghost pulled in a quick nose full of air as Soap squeezed down on him, still trying to adjust. “You lying to me, Johnny.”
The man pulled out before Soap was ready, slamming back in just seconds after. Soap nearly sobbed out a response. “I’m not.”
“If this is a virgin hole, then I'm the bloody pope. That, or you’ve been depriving the world of one of the best arses around.” He barely gave Soap any time to breath as he stated to fuck him in earnest, pulling out and thrusting back in without mercy.
Soap had no idea what to do; his face was smashed into the mattress, hands scrambling for any kind of purchase as each thrust pushed him up the bed. There was none of the softness he expected for his first time, just pure, primal desire as he was smashed into the bed. He was going to fucking die.
Ghost shifted slightly behind him, putting his weight onto his other leg, and slammed back in. Immediately, Soap felt electricity up his spine, twitching with a gasp. “Oh fuck!”
“That feel good, Johnny?” Making sure to keep the angle he hit before, Ghost kept pounding into him. And each time, he hit something inside him that made him collapse.
He had never felt something like that, not even during sex. His entire body was on fire, muscles involuntarily clenching and twitching in response to every thrust. It felt like his mind was melting, every slam forcing his eyes back in his head and mouth slack.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Right there.”
As Ghost kept it up, Soap felt something building up in him. It felt like he was running a fever, his entire body melting as he stared dumbly at the wall. Nothing was ever registering over the overwhelming feeling of his guts being filled and his brain being scrambled.
“Oh shite—I can’t—” With one harsh thrust, he felt all his muscles convulse as everything whited out. All the way from his head to his toes, his body vibrated with energy he never knew he could feel. It was intoxicating.
When his muscles were done, he fell limp against the bed. “You cum untouched, Johnny?”
Looking down at himself, he was expecting to see cum all down his chest, but there was nothing but precum. His dick was still hard and throbbing against his stomach. All he could whine out was a confused, “I don’t know.”
Ghost peered down at him, face still hidden by that damn mask. Behind it, Soap could see the grin grow on his face like a predator catching its prey. “Think it’s safe to say you’re enjoying your little experiment.” Grabbing Soap’s hips, he got back into position. “Give me another one, yeah?”
Before Soap could tell him to fuck off and give him a minute to breathe, he started back up. His legs trembled under him, body sensitive and tired, but Ghost didn’t go easy on him. Draping himself over Soap’s back, he mouthed at Soap’s neck through his mask. The hot breath reminded him of that first time they wanked each other off.
He couldn’t believe how far they’d strayed since then.
Over and over again, Ghost fucked into him. Soap could feel the man’s dick rubbing against his walls, massaging his insides and stretching every inch of his asshole. With whatever energy was left, he pushed his hips back to meet every thrust.
“Christ, Johnny. Wish you could see how fucking ruined you look.” He used a hand to wipe some of the sweat from Soap’s forehead, brushing damp hair to the side before moving down to kiss behind his ear. “This is what you were fantasizing about this entire time, wasn’t it, baby?”
Oh fuck. He’d been called that a million times in bed, but he never knew how hot it could be until that moment. If he had it his way, Ghost would never call him anything else. “Aye! Fuck!”
“That’s it.” Adjusting his grip on Soap’s hips, Ghost became more frantic with each thrust. Soap felt the man’s dick twitched deep inside his hole and knew he was close. “Going to come with me, Johnny?”
He was unsure if he actually answered with anything coherent; Soap was too busy bracing himself against the mattress to fuck himself back on Ghost’s dick, chasing the growing heat in his stomach. They moved in disjointed rhythms, unconcerned with precision as they both neared their climaxes.
Reaching around, Ghost grabbed ahold of Soap’s dick, stroking it twice before Soap was cumming for real this time. Shaking and moaning, Soap unloaded onto Ghost’s hand as the man slammed in behind him, cumming deep into his ass. Their sweaty skin glued them together, making it hard to tell where they ended and the other began.
It was as close as Soap ever expected to get to heaven, laying there in Ghost’s arms as he came down from the strongest orgasm of his life. The man just kept outdoing himself, and Soap wasn’t sure he’d be able to survive any more.
Gently, Ghost led him down onto the bed. Soap fell into a mush the minute he didn’t have the support. He was as good as dead weight as Ghost set out to clean them both up. His brain was miles away, floating on the feeling of whatever the hell he just experienced.
Contentedness took him away as he replayed the events of the night in his mind. It was obvious he had enjoyed it. It was the most he’d ever enjoyed sex, and it felt right. That had to mean…
Breaking through his reverie, the bed dipped behind him while a hand traced faint lines up his arm. “You okay, Johnny?”
“Never been better.” He couldn’t help the smile that broke out across his face. He’d live in that kind of bliss for the rest of his life if he could. And, fuck, he wanted Ghost there with him… He wanted a future with Ghost. A future of this . “Oh god, I’m gay.”
His eyes flew open to see Ghost above him, eyes wide. “What?”
Shite. That ruined it all, didn’t it? Him and Ghost had just been fooling around, experimenting with each other and letting off some steam. Him coming out when they’d be clear it was just two guys helping a friend out was the worst thing he could do.
Pushing himself up onto his elbow, Soap tried to smooth everything over. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I would have told you if I’d known—”
“If you’d known!? Johnny, what the fuck are you talking about!?” There was a moment of tense silence as they both waited for the other to say something. Ghost was the one to break it, voice laced with bewilderment. “We’ve been fucking around with each other for weeks and you didn’t know? What do you think we’ve been doing?”
“Just that! Fucking around! You said that was normal for friends to do! That it wouldn’t be weird!”
“You were being serious? I thought you were just being cheeky and playing hard to get! Or playing up some straight guy kink! Of course sucking your friend’s dick is gay!”
“Hell’s fucking bells.” Soap drug a hand down his face. This was mortifying. All that time spent confused and unsure, and here Ghost was, saying he thought Soap was gay the entire time. “I can’t believe this is my fucking life.”
Ghost just sat there silently, looking like he was rethinking everything about the past several weeks. His eyes widened in fear the longer he went. “Does that mean this was really your first time doing anal?” When Soap didn’t deny it, he dropped his head into his hands. “Bloody hell, I wouldn’t have been so rough if I’d realized. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Shifting slightly to try and ignore the ache in his ass, Soap laughed awkwardly. “Well, if it’s any consolation, that was the best sex I’ve had in my life.”
Unable to help himself, Ghost broke into laughter. “Thanks, Johnny. As long as you enjoyed it.” Straightening back up once his laughter subsided, he leaned over to Soap with smiling eyes. “It’s not a stretch to say that, if I was your gay awakening, you’re probably interested?”
“A bit presumptuous of you, L.T… but aye.” Slowly, he reached a hand under the hem of Ghost’s mask. “But just how interested are you?”
“Interested enough to take whatever you'll give me.” Soap pushed the edge of the fabric up slightly higher. “But if I had it my way, I’d take you out to dinner then have all of you laid out like tonight every. fucking. night.”
Excitement took over Soap at the words, a grin splitting his face. Finally pulling the mask over Ghost's nose, he paused, leaning in just enough for their lips to brush. “I'd call that deal.”
Pressing their lips together, Soap let himself fall into the attraction he'd been fighting for weeks. He was gay, and, fuck, of he wasn't happy to finally know.