Chapter Text
John was a young man who did not know too many things about life that particular morning. Well, aside from the fact that his sneakers were a little too thin for the weather outside and that his luggage couldn’t have been this heavy the day before. However, as he dragged out of the train station, he was totally certain of one thing. Never, never take the closest 20 taxi cabs. They’re evil and expensive. Evil.
So, that same morning, John walked a mile through the suburbs of a town he had not visited in years, until he finally found another cab. Thank the Gods there had been 21 of them. His dad hadn’t thought that advice through. Actually, John almost dialled said parent’s number to complain about the same fact, only to catch himself short and shove the phone deep in his coat’s pocket. No phone calls while the sun was up.
The cab driver was an old woman (huh, John had never seen a female cab driver before) and her car probably smelt of old age, but in John’s mind, it smelt like combusted cats. But that was just a passing thought. As they got, in silence, to the actual city and the skyscrapers became more than just funny lines on the cloudy sky and parks started stretching on one side of the road or the other, another one came to mind. It was quite nagging, to tell the truth. So John leant forward from his place in the backseat, putting his chin absent-mindedly on the seat in front of him, and looked at the old woman’s white hair. It resembled a wire sponge almost perfectly.
“Hey, um,” he paused to clear his throat. He hadn’t said a word in over 11 hours and maybe he ought to have drunk a little more water during that train ride. Well, a lot more water. For a thing without which his body would die, it sure didn’t take its job seriously.
“Hm?” the old lady hm-ed.
John swallowed dryly. “Yeah. So, um...I once came here when I was little and...”
“Hm?” Maybe that meant ‘go on’ in old lady-an.
“Do you know what happens to the ducks? In that park, over there. I saw some ducks last time. Do you know where they go when winter comes?”
“What?” She pulled the car over and at first John though he had shocked her into cardiac arrest, but then she continued. “Here you go, kid. Prospit Avenue. Now go and take some sleep.” She took the money from his unmoving hand and he felt himself slip out of her car.
As the taxi drove away, John blinked artfully after it. Then, like the smart limb it was, his hand went up to pet his hair. Even without seeing it he knew it must have been in such a state that he shouldn’t have been surprised to be taken for a junkie. He let out an equally artful sigh. Luggage in his hand, he crossed the street.
He was pretty sure that driver did not mean him when he said all those words. He was also certain that those other people didn’t mean to bump so hard into him. John went on. The avenue was wide and long and fairly full of barren trees, he observed. He only knew that the college was somewhere around there. It had the same name, for God’s sake.
There it was. Tall and wide and golden-y even in the grey light of the upcoming rain, with a clock tower and all that jazz that made it look impressive to the poor, innocent hearts of young men and women like John. He blinked respectfully at it, then turned around and started counting side streets.
The apartment’s door was green and unlocked. John had received the key in the mail that week, but it was still nice to think his roommate had kept it open for him. Nicer still, giving the fact that they had barely talked two or three times over Pesterchum before.
John pushed the door gently and carried his luggage inside. Then he was in a suffocatingly small space, cornered by three doors. One yellow-y, one blue and one black. He briefly wondered what the deal was with the painted doors, but then he observed the “-- that one” post-it on the wall, beside the blue one, so he took the remaining step towards it.
The bed stared at him with the most bored expression a bed had ever mustered. John blinked at it in recognition before crushing it under his and his luggage’s weight. It creaked back irritably. His mind refusing vehemently to have a culture shock from the fact that this room was 1/3 of the bedroom back home, John untied his sneakers and put them neatly at the foot of his friendly bed.
Then, another door, outside, hit a wall. John acknowledged the sound by raising his head. Then his door opened too, slowly, so that he had to lean forward in order to look into the corridor. “Uh, hee...ey?” He had barely caught a glimpse a humanoid figure in loose clothes of indiscernible colours when the doorway was empty again.
But then again, John had been a ninja in a past-life, so in less than a (very, very, Discworldly slow) flash, he was peering inside the mustard-doored room.
His roommate, the proud owner of a fantastically shambolic head of brown hair, was doing a tremendously elaborate job of getting back in his computer seat. Well, as long as that eldritch, wiry thing could be called a computer and that other thing was still a chair.
“Sup.” The guy said, flopping down on the thing. It was only to be expected for a part of the nation’s future to be this eloquent, of course. The thing creaked like an elderly Boogie Man.
Ever the bright and cheery kid, John beamed, but dared make no further step into the room due to the greenhouse of wires that covered the carpet. “Sollux, right? Thanks for setting my bed there. I never got the hang of it myself.” The ‘bed’ was a being that didn’t fold as much as broke its every metal bone in a masochistic outburst until it could be sent away in a car.
The other shrugged quite impressively, kicking half a dozen wires from under his feet. “Had to get it out of the way.” And, as a really forced afterthought, “You got here alright?”
“Oh, yeah, I guess so. I guess I should start remembering my way around in a few days, but from what I saw, the city hasn’t changed much.” Although it was becoming quite uncomfortable, John did not avert his eyes from the other’s face. He had the strangest feeling that one electrical outlet in the wall was staring at him. It seemed pretty shocked too.
“I guess you can’t say it did.”
Sollux watched him (when he wasn’t too busy checking to see if his socks were still on or if he’d plugged everything correctly in the evil computer, that is) with mismatched eyes that looked pretty legit and was visibly trying not to make things awkward and failing. John was failing too, though, so it was less of a tragedy that way.
When it became pretty obvious that nothing was going to save them from this first face-to-face conversation’s ridiculous mood, his roommate took it upon himself to end it. By gallantly choking over his own words while turning his face towards the computer. “Yeah, I...have to finish setting up here...”
“Me too! Uh, thanks again. We’ll catch up when we’re both done, I guess, um...”
“See you.”
“Yes, see you later.”
Never had John thought he’d be this happy to lock himself with a grumpy bed, an empty desk and an anorexic bookshelf/wardrobe in his life. Oh, God, what was he going to do? They’d be sharing the apartment all throughout college perhaps and there was no way they were ever going to open up and act like normal college roomfriends. Oh, no, his future years were doomed to be antisocial and awkward and full of mean-looking furniture! Oh no, oh gosh.
As soon as his 3.4-minute delirium ended, John took a deep breath, an idea of a gulp of water and went on with his life as if nothing had happened. After all, nothing had except for his hair being in a worse state than before and it didn’t really count, judging by its usual look. Right. John Egbert was a dashing young man that did not, ever, freak out over small things like a 2-minute long conversation with someone he’s never met before in person.
Nevertheless, he had work to do before things started happening.
During the first few days, John found out that having only one best friend kind of sucks when the latest, biggest change in your life is the one that you should keep a secret from him with your life. So he started calling Jade. First, once every other night, then as often as he could, up to the point that she started laughing at him for being friend-dumped. Like that was what was happening here. No. John was just a young man who valued his life and knew only too well that, were his friend to know they’d been living practically in the same city for a week, he’d sure be a dead man within the hour.
Bluh. Why couldn’t he, like any other best friend in history, be happy that they could finally see each other face to face. After being chums for years, no less. John recalled the moment when he’s been told that the only reason they were still talking, when everybody else lost the hang of him, was because there was absolutely no chance they would ever meet each other.
Okay, that was something taken out of the other’s angry rant after a particularly nasty episode that ended up in John being his only chum (which later proved not to be that big of a deal when most of their online friends had been accepted in the list again), and it also had taken place years before, but it still stung. After all, up until that moment, John had always had in mind eventual meetings full of merrymaking and shitty-movies-watching and he had never expected such a harsh rejection. It was hard, being a child.
...So it’s been like this. Winter of junior year of high school, a couple days until the holidays, John was marching like a pioneer through the freezing, pouring rain (since that was to be the closest thing to snow they were going to have over there). That, if said pioneer was having a nasty case of arthritis, a few broken ribs and lead in his boots. Nevermind that, John marched with as much dignity as he managed all the way home (oh, yes, it was one of those times with empty roads and all the frufru).
Now, not many teenagers had had the honour to meet John’s dad, but those who had, felt a sudden, giant gap of awesome in their lives after they’d gone back home. That was one of the reasons John had forbidden his dad from ever hosting a BBQ party ever again. He couldn’t quite blame his father for trying to help him make at least one or two real friends, but he was 16, for God’s sake. Well, not like now he had more friends than he had then, but—okay, irrelevant.
Be that as it may. Once arrived home, fretted over, dressed in warm clothes and handed as much food as he could eat, John was finally back in his natural habitat. Back then, he was quite sure his room ought to become a greenhouse of sorts when he would move away. Of course, back then he also believed he would be recognised as a trickster prodigy before graduating and that he’d live in a mansion by the time he’d be twenty. (Well, he still wasn’t 20 yet, but he could see that possibility getting very thin in the near future.)
So, warm and well-fed, he retreated to his hive, got in the weirdest position he could muster on his computer chair and wakened his computer. From there on, it went pretty okay. He checked on most of his online friends (hey, he, too, needed to socialize, after all) and went on his daily activities of doing homework and playing Amnesia at the same time. Do not ask how he did it. It was a family secret (don’t ask about that either).
But then, close to 9 o’clock, just when he thought he was finally starting to understand his own handwriting in the English notebook, Pesterchum started jingling again with a newfound force.
GA: Do You Know Whats Going On
GC: 1 TH3R3BY H4ND 1N MY R3S1GN4T1ON W1TH D1GN1TY, JOHN. H3’S 4LL YOURS.
GG: did he explode on you too?
That was way too much green for a common day. Taking a last dumbfounded look at his notebook, John prepared all his mental faculties for the talks he knew were coming at him for therapy. Who in the real world would have thought John to be a peacemaker for his chums? He adjusted his glasses and took two deep breaths.
EB: huh?
Sometimes, it was really hard to outsmart John Egbert. This maybe was not the right time to mention that. This smart reply on his part produced two separate walls of green and a couple of non-explanatory lines from Terezi before she chose, quite neatly, to abscond.
The situation, however, was quite clear and for that reason John thought it was ridiculous. However, since everybody except him appeared to have been blocked and therefore unable to talk to their less friendly (but just as good) friend, he guessed he ought not to wait around too long. A few more deep breaths. At least those incidents were good for his lungs’ health.
EB: um...
EB: so, karkat! man, you’d better prepare your death bed cause you’re gonna die of jealousy as soon as i’m done with you.
EB: so you remember the game i sent you last summer?
EB: i know you’ve explained a thousand times how lame it was but i know deep within your ice heart you loved it.
EB: okay, so about that game.
CG: FUCK OFF, JOHN.
CG: WAIT. WHY DID I EVEN FUCKING BOTHER TO SPELL THAT OUT FOR YOU.
CG: I MEAN SINCE EVEN AFTER YOU’VE PROBABLY HEARD ALL ABOUT WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON YOU STILL DECIDED TO BOTHER ME. IS THERE SOME MALFUNCTIONING GLAND IN YOUR BODY THAT USHERS YOU TO FIND PEOPLE TO TREAT YOU LIKE SHIT OR SOMETHING. CAN YOU NOT GIVE YOURSELF A CREDIBLE ENOUGH HATE TALK SO YOU COME TO ME AT MY SHITTIEST HOUR TO GET ONE.
CG: WELL, TOO BAD FOR YOU, THE VANTAS CLINIC IS CLOSED FOR TONIGHT AND FOR EVER IF YOU DON’T LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE THIS MOMENT.
CG: GO AND CRY YOUR ASS OUT AT HARLEY. FROM WHAT I HEARD LAST TIME SHE HAD ENOUGH HELL TO GIVE ME IF SHE STILL COULD. AND I AM A GOOD ENOUGH FRIEND TO SHARE. TELL HER I SAID THAT. YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME.
CG: NOW FUCK OFF.
Mandatory swallow and round eyed-ness for a couple of seconds. Non-compulsory scratch of one’s head. Well-deserved long sigh.
EB: so you really don’t want to talk about it...?
CG: WHAT. ARE YOU SERIOUS.
CG: WHAT PART OF WHAT I’VE JUST SAID LET YOU TO BELIEVE I HAD SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT DISCUSSING YOUR STUPID GAME.
CG: GOOD GOD, JUST WHEN I THOUGHT YOU COULDN’T GET EVEN MORE STUPID YOU MANAGE TO BLOW MY EXPECTATIONS. I WOULD ACT LIKE A PROUD PARENT BEFORE PUNCHING YOU IN THE FACE IF I DIDN’T HAVE WORSE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT RIGHT NOW.
EB: dude, no! i meant the thing with terezi.
EB: what kind of dumb shit you take me for?
CG: I THOUGHT THAT WAS COMMON KNOWLEDGE BY NOW.
EB: shut up, we both know that’s just how you talk to people.
EB: going back now. are you okay, dude?
EB: i mean. jade wasn’t that upset, actually, but she didn’t know what happened apart from, ugh, you and terezi meeting somewhere...???
EB: kanaya was mostly concerned, so no data there. and terezi didn’t really talk to me.
EB: ...
EB: so...
CG: YES, YES. FUCK, I AM HERE
CG: DON’T FRET YOURSELF TOO MUCH, EGBERT, IT MIGHT CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE TO THE POINT THAT YOU WILL ACTUALLY START SEEING THE WORLD FOR WHAT IT REALLY IS AND NOT YOUR SHITTY FANTASY LAND.
EB: says the dude crying over amanda seinfried.
CG: SEYFRIED. AND SHUT UP. I TOO HAD TO LIVE THROUGH YOUR 13-YEAR OLD CRUSH, SO DON’T YOU FUCKING SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MY MOVIES.
EB: dude, we agreed never to talk about that again.
CG: FINE. BUT JUST BECAUSE IT’S JUST AS PAINFUL FOR ME AS IT IS FOR YOUR SELF ESTEEM.
Getting Karkat to talk on the actual subject was always a bit of a hassle, but only because John could be just as easily swept aside from the important stuff. However, the problem had turned out to be Terezi’s unwelcome surprise visit that had ended in a door locked in her face and a hard slap over Karkat’s face. Not in that particular order.
And, as awful as that was, John couldn’t stop feeling a teeny bit jealous of her. Not for the door-in-face part, but because she had actually met (very briefly) his best friend in the flesh. As in, saw him as an anthropomorphical being. That breathed and talked and moved. John didn’t even know what colour his eyes were. Well, not that it really mattered or that he was interested, but still. (In his defence, up to this day, he had never asked her anything about his friend.)
CG: SO THAT’S IT.
EB: but that doesn’t sound so bad! i mean you guys are really good chaps, i don’t see the problem.
EB: it’s natural to want to see someone if you’re getting along that well, i think...
CG: WE AREN’T FRIENDS AND WE AREN’T GETTING ALONG. SHE JUST PISSES ME OFF AND I SEEM TO URGE HER TO CONTINUE WITH MY INABILITY TO FLIP HER OFF.
EB: you did use to have a crush on her, though.
CG: WHAT.
CG: NO, FUCK YOU.
CG: THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER, EGBERT. TAKE YOUR SO-CALLED FRIENDSHIP TO WHOMEVER WANTS IT, CAUSE I JUST NOW LEFT IT IN THE RETURN BASKET.
EB: heheee
CG: AND NO. IT’S NOT FUCKING “NATURAL” TO WANT TO MEET SOMEBODY YOU’VE ONLY TALKED TO ONLINE. THE POINT OF THIS ENTIRE THING IS THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO SHARE YOUR SHIT-SPILLING MUG WITH THE ENTIRE WORLD. THAT’S ALL. SO DON’T SAY IT’S “NATURAL” TO ME.
EB: so you’ve never wanted to meet one of us?
CG: NO.
EB: ever?
CG: DID THEY FUCK UP YOUR PRESCRIPTION AGAIN.
CG: NO AND BETTER END THIS CONVERSATION NOW BEFORE YOU GET TO SAY SOMETHING CHARACTERISTICALLY IDIOTIC THAT WILL MAKE ME BLOCK YOU TOO.
EB: so you weren’t going to block me?
CG: OBVIOUSLY SINCE I HAVEN’T DONE IT YET. BUT I’M ONLY REFRAINING MYSELF FROM IT BECAUSE I TRUST YOU NEVER TO TRY THAT KIND OF SHIT WITH ME. NO, SHUT UP. LIVE UP TO THAT STANDARD. GOOD NIGHT, JOHN.
And that was it, pretty much. John wasn’t happy with having to censor his Christmas (and summer and whatever other holidays they had) wishes from Karkat, but since he seemed so against it, he let it go. Subconsciously, he always hoped that his views would change in time. Maybe that was why, when he found out, years later, what college Karkat was applying to, he checked and overchecked his own list for the closest one to that. For now, he only knew they were in the same city and that Karkat was living with a friend, so there was no chance of easily finding him in a dorm. Bluh.
Anyway. At least calling Jade more often (he had less people to wail to, after all!) gave him and Sollux a reason to talk to each other. And thank the gods for loudspeaker. John could listen to as many computer and science talks as it was needed for the atmosphere to lift around the house. And it wasn’t like he was lacking embarrassing Jade-stories to tell during late-night dinner either, so, in the end, he could say that things had worked out. Like they always did. He never understood why he had ever doubted his dad’s wisdom. Said dad, of course, having given said wisdom just as soon as the Sun went down on his first day there.
Whoosh whoosh went the cold air as his door opened. “Here, printed the shit you’ve got for today.”
Jade could be as impressed as she liked that Sollux nowadays actually got up from the computer without there being a natural emergency, but John knew in his heart that she was exaggerating. Sollux was a perfectly normal, good friend to share an apartment with. She was only thinking like that because she did not spend near half of the time John and Sollux did on the computer. The Force had not chosen her. There was nothing they could do.
“Wow, thanks. Now I might actually get a clue what the witch’s talking about.” Another thing John had the pleasure to find out in his first month of college was, frankly, what his major actually was.
So okay, he had not been all that interested in all that talk his dad had with his teachers, but he was fairly sure he had an idea of what he had chosen to take in the end. Plus Biology was pretty high on his list of interests and he appeared to understand Genomics pretty well for now, so he guessed that had worked out too until now.
Now if he could only make that other thing work out too... Throwing the papers swiftly in his bag, John paused just enough in the doorway to get out his phone. He ignored the clock; he was gonna be late. Well, a first time for everything.
EB: so...are you doing something today?
CG: I AM STILL FAILING TO SEE THE FUCKING POINT IN YOU ASKING ME THIS EVERYDAY.
CG: BUT FINE.
CG: I’M GOING TO BUY KANAYA HER PRESENT. SHIT, MAYBE NOW SHE’LL STOP THROWING ALL HER PRINTZ-AWARD WINNING INNUENDOS AT ME LIKE THEY’RE THE PEVENSIE CHILDREN DURING THE WAR AND I’M PROFESSOR DIGORY KIRKE.
EB: dude...
CG: WHAT.
EB: uh.
EB: anyway! i have to leave you now. classes start at 10 and i’m still in my room at the moment and all that
CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL DOING THERE.
CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF THEY’RE NOT GOING TO DRAG YOUR ASS OUT OF THAT SCHOOL ANYTIME SOON I WILL WRITE THEM A LETTER SAYING HOW YOUR BEING THERE STOPS ME FROM PRE-SIGNING MY UNBORN CHILDREN IN THEIR PROGRAM.
CG: ROYAL ENGLISH PAPER AND ANTIQUE WAX STAMP. TEACHERS WILL CRY, JOHN.
EB: well, i sure am happy to know that i leave you in a good mood
EB: talk to you tonight, karkat!
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] –-
He was so fast in his march that he almost tripped over the first row of Sollux’s wires while swinging by the door. “Sollux, how many book shops are in the city?” He added a blink for earnestness.
“Uh...” the other raised an eyebrow over his fancy 3D glasses (nope, John was never going to accept the lame medical explanation). “Hundreds? Why?” Of course. Why would John want to know something that involved walking to, after all.
His face fell. Then rose again. How unlucky did he have to be not to find it, after all? “No reason. I’m late. Don’t forget you’re buying pizza today.” He was out before the other could do the simple math over whose turn it actually was to buy food.