Chapter Text
[In the studio today, Ladybug and Cat Noir look more tired than usual. Perhaps they’re showing their age, although they’re still far from old. Perhaps it’s the exhaustion after the drop bears incident. Perhaps it’s something personal they’re dealing with, in the lives they don’t share with the public. Whatever the explanation, when they speak they sound like bad actors, playing roles the public have come to expect.]
Alya: [With what may be a forced smile] So…the last akuma was pretty crazy.
Cat: That’s putting it mildly. I mean, drop bears. What’s next? Giant mutant crab monsters?
Ladybug: [Rolls her eyes] I think my partner here has been watching too many old b-movies.
Alya: I think whoever akumatised those koalas has, too. Some of the ideas coming in from our viewers suggest they have, as well.
Ladybug: [Gives her a look that suggests she may regret asking her next question] What kinds of ideas?
Alya: [Shrugs] Giant alien spiders. Enormous bees that don’t die when they sting you. Dinosaurs – so many dinosaurs. My personal favourite is an army of ultra-sexy Ladybug clones who’ve never seen men before and need to mate in the next twenty-four hours, or they’ll die.
Ladybug: [Draws back] Excuse me?
Alya: My husband’s actually made me sit through quite a few old films with a similar premise.
[Cat Noir nods like someone’s forced him to suffer through similar cinematic torture.]
Alya: So, what do you think? Do you reckon there’s an army of lusty Ladybugs hanging around in another dimension? Ooh, or maybe an army of lusty Cat Noirs who’ve never seen women before. That would certainly subvert the cliché.
[Ladybug casts an uncertain glance at Cat.]
Cat: [Crosses his arms] Honestly, at this point? I feel like nothing could surprise me.