Chapter 1: Childhood
Chapter Text
Caitlyn looks at the cupcake her father gave her.
It’s supposed to cheer her up. But it doesn’t. Jayce is out there in the rain and even if she is a misfit, she’s on one side of this fence and he’s on the other. He pushed her back, he saved her life. He’s her friend. Possibly her only friend, if she thinks too hard about it. And now she doesn’t know if she will ever see him again. Not only that but it’s raining so hard, she cannot even clear her head outside without getting scolded. She hides herself on the top of the steps because she knows both her parents are downstairs.
Suddenly there’s a commotion at the door.
Caitlyn’s heart jumps. Maybe it’s Jayce. Her mother never changes her mind but maybe she has about this. She’s on her feet when she hears Sheriff’s Grayson’s familiar rasp. Instead of running downstairs, she pulls herself back a bit further so she can hear but they cannot see her.
“Have you lost your mind!” Her mother gasps, indignant and annoyed, “that is a child!”
“All the same, I have a signed confession. She described the events accurately.”
“For Gods sakes,” her mother lets out sharp breath. The one she uses for when Caitlyn is being particularly frustrating or her father talks to long about medicine, “House Kiramman is not throwing a child in jail. She is protecting someone. Aren’t you dear?”
“I did it,” a voice tight with anger states, “I dropped the crystal after I heard something fall on the ground. I blew the building up.”
“Dear—“
“I did it,” the voice repeats, “I—“
“Dropped the crystal,” her mother cuts in, “how did you get in there?”
“Through the roof. I picked the lock.”
There is a hushed exchange and someone moves up the stairs. She can recognize her father’s footsteps and relaxes slightly. He gets high enough up to see her. His gaze softens fractionally and they just stare at each other for a moment. Long enough that it seems plausible for her him to find her a bit closer to her room. She gets to her feet, straightens her skirt and follows him down the stairs.
Standing between her mother and Sheriff Grayson is a girl. At least, Caitlyn thinks it’s a girl. Everything about her is dirty or bruised. She’s dressed in hand me downs that hang off her frame. Underneath the layer of muck is a riot of strawberry hair. But it’s shaved on one side, long on the other. It’s so plain compared to the haircuts she sees her friends at school wearing. Blue grey eyes lift. The world goes quiet as they stare at each other for two heartbeats.
“Caitlyn,” her mother says, drawing her attention back, “would you please get us some clothes.”
“What?”
“What?!”
Their voices overlap as they look at her mother. Cassandra arches an eyebrow in Caitlyn’s direction at her terrible manners. She looks down her nose at the girl but the look is more annoyance than the disgust she looked at Jayce with. Immediately the girl lifts her chin, as though daring her mother to look down at her. Her mother who sits on the Council, who has to give people permission to look her in the eyes.
“Clothes,” she says to Caitlyn. Then she focuses on the girl, “you will stay here and we will discuss this in the morning. Sherrff?”
“As you wish,” Sheriff Grayson says. She undoes the cuffs around the girl’s wrists. She and her mother trade a look and she says something quietly to her.
“Caitlyn!” Her mother says, “clothes!”
Caitlyn tears up the stairs. Caitlyn has never had to share anything before. No-one ever cares for her clothes. She grabs her looses pair of pants and a thick oversized sweater. Things she likes to wear when she comes out of the rain. At the last moment she grabs underthings and a pair of socks as well, shoving them between the heavy garments. She hurries back and nearly steps on the cupcake. Instead she places that on top of the stack.
Her mother and the girl are exactly where she left them. Her mother is contemplating something and the girl looks like she wants to dig into the center of the floor. Caitlyn has no idea why. People always want to come over to their house. So badly they pretend to be her friend until she lets them in. Jayce was willing to stand at the gate and get soaking wet to come inside. But this girl already has the look of wanting to leave.
“Caitlyn this is Violet,” her mother says, “Violet this is Caitlyn,” Violet rolls her eyes and breathes something like I know.
Delight surges through Caitlyn. Her mother has said her name multiple times but anyone else wouldn’t dare to point that out. She holds the stack of clothes out to Violet. Violet’s eyes drag from the clothes to her to the cupcake sitting on top. The anger eases for a moment at the sight of the treat. Then her face hardens again. But if she can show how smart she is, Caitlyn can do the same.
“Perhaps we should get Violet some food?” Caitlyn suggests.
“An excellent idea,” her mother says and nods at two of the Enforcers the Sheriff has left behind, “she’ll be downstairs.”
“Shouldn’t she be in a guest room?” Caitlyn blurts out. All of their eyes lock on hers, “since she’s a guest?”
They are all silent for a moment. Her mother looks at the Enforcers and then back to Caitlyn. Caitlyn knows they will be outside the door regardless whether they put her in the maids quarters or in the guest room. She tries to give her mother the pleading look that sometimes works. After a moment her mother gives the barest nod.
“I’ll show you the way,” Caitlyn says.
They fall into step behind her. Caitlyn is used to showing people around. But now she doesn’t bother with pointing out the paintings or anything. She wants to get Violet into the room before her mother changes her mind. The guest rooms are a variety of sizes. Caitlyn picks one that’s smaller and near the end of the hall, but almost always made up with clean sheets. She checks first though. The two Enforcers lock into position on either side of the door and Violet’s shoulders tense.
“Come, I’ll show you where the towels are,” Caitlyn says before the Enforcers can stop her from being in the room with Violet.
Violet looks around the room and some of the angry bravado slips. Not a lot, she gets it right back up, but just a bit so Caitlyn can see the mask. It’s like when she looked at the cupcake. Their eyes meet again and Violet scrutinizes her. Like she’s deciding if she can trust her.
“Why are you helping me?”
“Do I need a reason?” Caitlyn asks.
“Yeah,” Violet says and suddenly she’s a lot closer, “what’s your play here?”
“I’m protecting you,” she says. Violet’s eyes dart all over, “you’re a resident of this city—“
She scoffs and rolls her eyes, putting distance between them.
“I thought the Enforcers were outside.”
“I’m not one yet,” Caitlyn says, “but one day—“
“You sound like them,” Violet interrupts, “You may want to rethink your career path, I just watched a bunch die just before I got here.”
Caitlyn’s insides squirm. Both from the news of the death and the way Violet says she should rethink it. Like her mother says it. Caitlyn knows she would be a good Enforcer.
“Well I almost died a few days ago when you blew up the building,” Caitlyn says, “so I would make an excellent Enforcer.”
Violet whips around. For a moment pure panic shows on her face and then that mask is back.
“You were there?”
“I was,” Caitlyn replies, “in the hallway. I heard you whispering to—“
Violet is suddenly right in front of her. She moves so quickly Caitlyn has no time to see where she’s backing up. Her back hits the wall and one of Violet’s hands goes behind her head, the other claps over her mouth. Violet smells horrible. Like ash and soot and rot and metal. She smells like Caitlyn’s father when he goes out with his medical school friends. Some part of Caitlyn says she should scream, but it’s very hard to breathe as her pulse flutters.
This close she can see the blue in Vi’s grey eyes. There’s something almost delicate about the arch of her eyebrows and the curve of her cheek. All of it’s hidden by a layer of grime and so many bruises. Caitlyn tries to get her throat to work around the realization that Violet’s eyelashes are the same dark brown at her eyebrows.
“Okay you got me,” she hisses, “I will do whatever you want. But you didn’t hear me whispering to anyone,” they stare at each other over Vi’s disgusting hand wrap. Vi presses her palm against Caitlyn’s lips and then slowly lifts her hand.
“Who?” Caitlyn asks quietly. Vi gives her the same sharp look
“My siblings,” she says.
“Older?”
“No I’m the oldest,” she says, “this was my idea. I—“
They both turn as the door handle jiggles and Caitlyn pushes Violet to the side. She’s solid muscle. Caitlyn ignores that and dives for the closet, yanking down one of the towels as a maid comes in carrying a tray. Right behind her is her mother. Caitlyn prays her face is not too red and there isn’t dirt down the front of her shirt.
“Caitlyn, why is this door closed?” Her mother says.
“I was giving Violet some privacy,” she says. Her mother gives her a hard look, “and getting her a towel so she can take a bath.”
Her mother looks between them and holds out her hand. Caitlyn hands over the towel. Her mother’s eyes flick across her shirt and Caitlyn can’t bear to look. She’s sure she’s covered in dirt. In a way her mother will not tolerate.
“It’s my fault,” Violet speaks up, “I twisted my ankle when I blew up the building. Caitlyn got to me first.”
The reminder of Violet’s crimes seems to refocus her mother. She sets the towel in the bathroom and motions Caitlyn to follow her. Caitlyn tries to make herself presentable as she follows after her mother.
“Goodnight Violet,” her mother says.
“Goodnight Violet,” she echoes.
“Vi,” Violet says. Their eyes lock again and the word goes a little quieter, “friends call me Vi.”
Something bobs in Caitlyn’s chest. Something that drags her focus from the hot look her mother is giving her. She finds it very difficult to look away from Violet—no Vi’s, angry grey eyes. Though now she knows there’s blue in them. And for some reason she cannot think about much else.
“Goodnight Vi,” she says.
Chapter Text
Caitlyn wakes up, stretches her arms above her head and nearly has a heart attack when she sees Vi in her window.
Her room is several stories up. How Vi has managed to get this high, she has no idea. She’s supposed to be guarded down below with the Enforcers. But she’s crouched on Caitlyn’s window in a way that’s almost casual. Like she’s done it a million times before. Except their eyes lock again and it’s very clear Vi did not know this was her window.
Her eyes widen and Caitlyn barely manages to get her hand out in time to grab hers.
Vi is heavier than she looks but she immediately gets one foot back up on the ledge and perches there. Before Caitlyn can think too hard she shoves open the window and yanks her arm back, dragging Vi inside and slamming it shut.
“What are you doing?!” She hisses, “you’re supposed to be downstairs.”
“Escaping,” Vi says with a shrug. Like that’s a normal thing to say, “I was getting a vantage point.”
“You can’t do that,” Caitlyn says, “there are Enforcers by your room!”
“Ha!” Vi laughs, “I escape Enforcers all the time.”
She says it with such bravado. Like she wasn’t dragged here last night in handcuffs. She’s still got Caitlyn’s clothes on but Caitlyn can see her clothes sticking out from underneath the hems. Caitlyn forces her eyes back up to Vi’s.
“No you don’t, you just got arrested,” she points out. VI’s lip curls, “besides if you leave my mother is just going to send Enforcers down to hunt out someone to blame.”
Worry sticks out on Vi’s face before she shoves it away. It’s impressive how good she is at it. Caitlyn’s mother does it seamlessly. Only Caitlyn seems incapable of it. She’s supposed to look one way and only seems capable of looking the opposite. Her mother said the mask would come with time but Vi’s seems to be fully there and they must be about the same age. She has that bravado back when she shrugs and heads over to the window.
“Where are you going?” She questions as Vi slides out and back onto the ledge.
“Like I said, I’m escaping,” Vi says and pushes off.
Caitlyn gasps, ready to see her falling. But Vi defies gravity and manages use the momentum to go up. Caitlyn shoves her window open and cranes her neck out in time to see Vi grab some foothold in the stone and make her way to the roof. Caitlyn pulls herself back inside, stunned at this turn of events. She has never seen anyone move like that. It’s so reckless and maybe slightly impressive.
Right up until she hears the Enforcers sounding the alarm.
The house goes into a complete commotion and it’s about two minutes before Vi is back in front of her window. She gives her a pleading look and Caitlyn begrudgingly opens it just enough to make sure she is stable.
“Come on,” Vi hisses, “Cait!”
The nickname almost makes her shiver. Instead she waits for one more moment and then shoves the window open so Vi can scramble inside. Vi crouches down and then straightens up, looking around. Caitlyn has no idea what she is planning to find in the room and the door is kicked open before she can ask.
“Caitlyn!” Her mother’s voice is sharp. Under any other circumstances she would be moving back but she doesn’t. It takes her mother’s hand to pull her back. Then she turns on Vi. Excuses cloud Caitlyn’s tongue, though each sounds more foolish than the last, “how did you make it up to the roof?”
“I climbed?” Vi says as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“With that?”
Caitlyn realizes Vi has a hump on her back. A hump that jingles. Because Vi has taken everything and shoved it underneath Caitlyn’s sweatshirt. Multiple antiques tumble out along with a loaf of bread and several fruits. There’s no shame in Vi’s eyes as she glares back. Caitlyn’s mother regards her and then looks at the antiques. She picks up a platter that Caitlyn loathes. It’s heavy without the food on it.
Caitlyn can see the wheels turning in her mother’s head.
“That is—“ Caitlyn braces, “impressive,” her mother settles. Caitlyn frowns. Something is going on and she dislikes it, “come with me.”
“Dad?” Caitlyn looks at her father as her mother leads Vi away, “what’s going on?”
“I think your mother is impressed,” he says.
Caitlyn’s heart picks up. She knows what her mother does with people who impress her. People who have potential but lack resources. It was what she did with Jayce. Caitlyn’s heart twists. She hoped Jayce would get their patronage back. Though she supposes there’s nothing stopping them from adding Vi to the list. It’s clear her mother doesn’t want to put her in jail.
“Will you excuse me?” Caitlyn says, pulling on a jacket.
For some reason she feels compelled back to the gates. She hopes Jayce is alright. There is no reason for him to be near the gates, but she’s a bit disappointed he’s not there all the same. She is peering around them when a man comes into view.
The man is the largest one Caitlyn has ever seen. For a moment she’s tempted to yell but there’s something very kind about his eyes. She’s tall but he’s so much taller. Yet he leans forward against the fence and brings their eyelines close.
“Hello,” he says, “is this your house?”
“It’s my mothers,” Caitlyn says. She glances over at the Enforcers milling about farther back. She sees him peering as well, though his eyes keep moving past them, “are you here for Vi?” She asks.
Relief breaks out across his face.
“She’s here?”
“Who are you?” Caitlyn asks slowly.
“I’m the person who broke into the lab,” he says. Something almost desperate in his voice.
Caitlyn frowns.
“No, I was there,” she says. He sighs and the sound is pained, “she’s alright,” Caitlyn continues, “my parents are considering being her patrons”
“What?” He asks, surprise on his face.
“Yes,” she says, “she attempted an escape. My mother was very impressed,” he still looks so anguished. And so kind. He looks a bit like Vi when her mask slips. She has the same urge to make that pain go away, “they’ll pay for everything. Schooling, clothing.”
“What will they want in return?” He asks, the pain not going away.
“Loyalty,” Caitlyn says, “to House Kiramman.”
He looks down at her and Caitlyn straightens her spine.
“You said this is your mother’s house? Do you have a brother?” She shakes her head, “so House Kiramman will be yours one day?”
It occurs to Caitlyn he might be here to kidnap her and she takes a step back. Even though that’s foolish because he can’t get through the gates. The moment she steps back, something turns almost desperate in the man’s eyes.
“Wait, I’m sorry. I’m Vi’s uncle,” he says, “I want to make sure she’s alright,” he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a stuffed rabbit. It looks comically small in his hands, “I see she’s in good hands. Could you do me a favor and give this to her? Tell her she’s a leader now, with all that entails. She’ll know what that means.”
Caitlyn hesitates.
“I’ll leave it here,” he says starting to bend down.
“No,” Caitlyn darts forward, “I’ll tell her,” she says taking the bunny. It smells horrible but it doesn’t explode, “shall I—“ when she looks up he’s walking away, “wait!”
For such a hulking man he moves quickly. Caitlyn looks at the patchwork rabbit. He’s covered in threadbare patches and frays and stains. He’s been very well loved. He still smells awful though. Before she can think too much on it, Caitlyn shoves the rabbit into her jacket so no-one will see it.
Vi is sitting across from her mother. The nicer tea set is out. The one her mother chooses when she wants to hint at their wealth but not outright tell them how small they are. She really is impressed by Vi’s physical abilities. Vi for her part has what seems to be an entire roll stuffed into her mouth and another in her hand. They both look at her.
“Caitlyn,” her mother says, “I need you to give Vi some more clothes. She’ll be staying for a few days.”
“You’re not sponsoring her?”
Vi looks between them in confusion. Her mother’s eyes narrow like Caitlyn has said something she does not want shared. Vi zeroes in on that and swallows.
“What’s a sponsor?”
“Something we will discuss after you are evaluated by Sheriff Grayson,” she says. Panic flares in Vi’s eyes, “not to do with your arrest. This is to do with your future.”
“I don’t get it,” Vi says and reaches for another roll.
“You’ll never be hungry again,” her mother says.
Vi pauses. She’s tried to escape, she’s done everything to protect her siblings. Caitlyn knows the Undercity has a short supply of everything but crime. There is a hunger in Vi’s eyes that Caitlyn is unsure will ever truly go away. Desperation wins for a moment, then the mask is back.
“Nah, I’m good,” she says, “but thanks.”
Her mother gives her most terrifying smile. Even Vi goes a shade paler.
“She’ll be here tomorrow. Eat up.”
Caitlyn goes to gather some clothes for Vi. The worn bunny is curled in her jacket near her stomach. She knows having the Kiramman’s as patrons is something people would kill for. It’s an opportunity few will have. But she also can see Vi is desperate to get home. Mind made up, she makes her way to the guest room. Vi is laying on the bed with a hand on her stomach but bolts up when Caitlyn opens after knocking.
“What’s the point of knocking if you’re just gonna open the door?” Vi questions.
“It’s polite,” Caitlyn says. Vi’s eyes narrow.
“What’s up with you?”
Caitlyn hesitates and then walks over and closes the door. Vi watches her sharply as she comes forward. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out the bunny. Vi’s eyes widen and she’s on her feet instantly. Caitlyn holds out the bunny and Vi grabs it, looking around the room as though the hulking man will be there.
“Where did you get this?” Vi questions, terror lacing her voice.
“Your uncle dropped it off,” Caitlyn says, “he said to tell you you’re a leader now, with all that entails,” she frowns trying to make sure she said the message right, “he said you would know what that means.”
Vi stares at her. Caitlyn is expecting the rage. What she’s not expecting is for Vi’s eyes to flood with tears. For her breathing to turn shaky and quickly dissolve into sobs. She doesn’t even bother to hide her distress as she drops onto the bed with the bunny in her hands. Caitlyn wants to ask what the message meant, but the way Vi is weeping makes her think she doesn’t know Caitlyn is there.
Vi gets onto the bed and curls into a ball facing the wall, still sobbing.
Caitlyn has no idea what to do. She thinks to get her parents but this seems like Vi has been wounded. She doesn’t even react when Caitlyn risks touching her shoulder. Without fully knowing why, Caitlyn settles herself on the bed next to Vi and wedges their backs together. She doesn’t know if she should touch her. Probably not. But she doesn’t want Vi to think she’s alone.
Vi just clutches the bunny and sobs.
Notes:
IDK what we're doing here either but let me know if you enjoyed and I'll see if I can keep going.
Chapter Text
“What does it mean?” Caitlyn asks when Vi has stopped sobbing past the occasional sniffle. Their backs are still wedged together.
“It means I can’t be selfish,” Vi mumbles after a moment, “it means—I can’t go home.”
Caitlyn has more questions but Vi pushes herself up and wipes a hand over her face. The other remains tightly on the bunny. She looks around the room and her face is full of grief. Caitlyn feels awful. She’s never been much of a crier, that’s not what Kiramman’s do. But when she has cried her dad always rubs circles into her back. Even though they are wedged together Caitlyn gets the feeling Vi is not a circles-on-the-back kind of girl. She looks around again and then down at her booted feet.
“What’s a patronage?”
“We give you money and introduce you to the right people,” Caitlyn says, “hopefully you become rich and influential.”
“What do you want in return?”
“Your uncle asked that,” Caitlyn says, not loving how all of them seem to have the same suspicion on their faces when she states the offer. She’s done nothing to warrant the look, “in return you’re loyal to House Kiramman.”
“I don’t have to pay it back?”
“No!” Caitlyn says and remembers what her mother told Jayce, “your money doesn’t matter to us.”
Vi makes a noise she thinks might be a laugh but comes out as the same kind of scoff she made with her mother. Her fingers tighten around the bunny’s arm. Then she pries them away and puts her hands in her lap. Caitlyn watches as she looks down. The hand wraps are gone but in their place are wide patches of tender, raw skin. Caitlyn’s familiar with raw patches and callouses. But hers are always on her trigger fingers.
“So you’ll give me everything and I just have to be loyal to you?” She repeats and Caitlyn has no idea how the deal sounds so twisted from her lips.
“We’re good people!” she snaps. Vi glares, her shoulders starting to draw together, “besides you’re clearly a loyal family person. Why can’t you be loyal to our family as well?”
“Because you’re not my family,” Vi snaps right back, “because I want to go home!” She buries her fingers in her hair and breathes hard. Caitlyn would say like she’s been running but she just saw her scale the house without breaking a sweat, “I want to go home.”
“Why?” Caitlyn blurts out. Vi looks at her, “you’e starving and desperate down there. Up here you could have a life.” It doesn’t seem like much of a choice. But Vi rolls her eyes like she’s said something stupid, “you could send them money since—“
Vi’s head whips towards her.
“How?”
“Don’t you have an address?”
Vi frowns and the fact she doesn’t immediately say yes makes Caitlyn think she does not. Which is odd because everyone has an address. Her parents sit at the coffee table and her mother cuts letters open with one of the antiques Vi stole. Caitlyn isn’t allowed to see the contents of most but her mother has her sit there all the same. Learn to sit still and do family things. Things Caitlyn finds so frustrating. She would rather be outside.
“My uncle has a bar,” she says, ‘can you send money there?” Caitlyn stares and annoyance crosses Vi’s face, “yes or no?”
“Probably?”
“Can you send it in a way that your parents won’t know?”
Caitlyn thinks of her allowance. The money that sits in her accounts. It’s so much smaller than the money in the others, but it is hers. Numbers get added every month and Caitlyn never spends it all. It’s not enough to create trouble, just enough to teach her responsibility. She’s supposed to spend it on time with friends and cosmetics. She doesn’t have friends and she can’t brace her rifle properly when she has makeup on.
“I have money,” she says.
“So you would be my patron?” Vi says with that sharp, desperate urgency.
“I’m—“ Caitlyn is about to point out they are the same age. But she thinks of the endless hours sitting listening to the letter opener. The way her mother’s eyes keep darting to her to see how she is reacting. The silent question: will she be able to do this? Or will one of her snot nosed bullish cousins have to step in, “I have to ask my parents,” she says.
Relief breaks across Vi’s face, though Caitlyn doesn’t understand why. Vi is a puzzle. Caitlyn hates not understanding things, she likes solving them so much. But people are very difficult to solve. The moment you figure them out they change all over again. It’s usually quite annoying. But Vi looks at her with that desperate hunger and Caitlyn doesn’t find it annoying at all. She wants to know more. Wants to pull out everything that hides behind Vi’s grey blue eyes.
“Great,” Vi says, “you’re smart, you’ll convince them.”
“I can’t promise that,” Caitlyn points out, thinking of all the ways this could go wrong.
“No you will,” Vi says, “you got me into this room.”
She did accomplish that.
This is another puzzle.
“You need to do well on your evaluation tomorrow,” she says to Vi. Vi looks at her, “you cannot glare at Sheriff Grayson. You need to show respect,” Vi scoffs, “exactly the opposite of that.”
“Respect the Enforcer who arrested me?” Vi rolls her eyes.
“You turned yourself in,” Caitlyn points out, “your uncle tried to do the same thing, it must be genetic.”
Everything in Vi goes tense again. Caitlyn has always had a talent for choosing the exact wrong thing to say. It alienates her from everyone. It horrifies her mother. She’s learned sometimes it is better to keep her mouth shut and put on the serene Kiramman mask. Just so people won’t look at her the way Vi is looking at her. Caitlyn can’t stand the thought of her sobbing again or looking desperate.
“I told him I was there and I knew he wasn’t,” she says, “that’s when he left the bunny.”
All the tension rushes out of Vi in a single ragged breath. She drops backwards onto the bed and Caitlyn can see how exhausted she looks. At least that Caitlyn understands. Her mother controls the Enforcers but Caitlyn imagines if she tried to go to jail for something Caitlyn did, Caitlyn would also be very upset. Vi takes responsibility so easily. Caitlyn still tries to avoid hers. Vi would sit with her mother when she opened the mail and it wouldn’t feel like hell. Caitlyn feels glum and jealous at the same time and looks at Vi. Tears are running down her temples but she’s not sobbing.
“Do I call her Sheriff?” She asks quietly.
“Yes, Sheriff Grayson,” she says.
“What am I trying to do?”
“Be good enough my parents think you’re a safe investment,” Caitlyn says, “safe enough you can be my investment,”
Vi looks at her and the red makes the color of her eyes stand out even more. Vi considers her silently and then nods.It’s strange to have someone to trust. Caitlyn’s been taught her whole life to be careful. But there’s something about Vi that makes her think of Jayce. That reckless bravery that says but what if I did try. Caitlyn wishes she could be that brave. But Jayce and Vi have nothing to lose. They don’t need to be so careful. Instead Caitlyn contents herself being surrounded by bravery and hopes it will rub off.
“Vander said being a leader means not being selfish,” Vi repeats, “you’re a leader.”
“Not yet,” Caitlyn starts but Vi grabs her hand.
“I’ll follow you,” she says, “if you lead.”
Caitlyn stares at her for a moment. There’s an earnestness to Vi’s eyes that makes her cheeks start to burn. She says it with such sincerity. When she says it Caitlyn feels like she might be right. Vi glances at her and looks at her lips. Starts to lean forward.
And Caitlyn realizes what is going on.
She rips her hand free and jumps up letting Vi fall to the bed. Like she should have let her fall when she appeared at the window. Vi lifts her head from the bed and the anger is back, confirming everything Caitlyn suspected was going on.
“You are horrible,” she says.
“Okay, okay,” Vi lifts a hand, “sorry,” she says, “I was just trying to make sure.”
“You don’t trust me?” Caitlyn questions. Vi shrugs, “but I’ve kept your—“ Vi’s eyes widen, “I haven’t given you a reason not to trust me.”
“You’re a Topsider and your mom is trying to buy me?” Vi offers.
“You got yourself arrested and she could have thrown you in jail!” Caitlyn shoots back.
They both stare at each other. Caitlyn feels like someone has put a livewire under her skin. Vi is laying on her stomach still. She’s in a prone position. All the rules of combat say Caitlyn has won. She should have all the power. Yet she feels very powerless as Vi pushes herself up and swings her legs over the side. She sits on the bed and regards Caitlyn seriously.
“Are you going to tell?”
“I know you have your reservations about me, but this only works if we can trust each other.”
Vi stares at her silently.
Caitlyn returns the look.
Then Vi rips her eyes away, grabs the bunny and holds it out. Caitlyn stares at the smelly toy. It’s disgusting and it is the only thing Vi has in the world that isn’t borrowed. When she fails to take it, Vi wiggles the toy towards her. Then she opens her hand. Caitlyn jumps forward and grabs the toy. It’s so filthy going on the ground shouldn’t matter. But something in her cannot bear the thought of him laying there.
“Why are you giving me this?”
“You’re right I don’t trust you,” Vi says, “I gave Mister Bunny to my sister so she would know I’m always with her. She gave it to my Uncle who gave it to me for the same reason,” Vi looks at her, “Mister Bunny is our promise to each other.”
Caitlyn’s fingers tighten on the bunny’s arm. Vi stands up. This time there is no anger in her eyes. No humor. There is something that weights more than anything in the world.
“You hold that promise and I’m yours.”
She says it like an oath.
An oath that feels too serious to be sworn over a bunny. But she does. Before she can think too hard about it Caitlyn reaches up and undoes her earrings. She never wanted to get her ears pierced. But her mother insisted. The hoops are a compromise. They are a dull metal that doesn’t glint and Caitlyn never has to take off. Two neat silver rings. They could buy Vi her freedom ten times over. She holds them out.
“I argued with my mother for weeks so she wouldn’t make me wear diamonds,” she says. For once Vi doesn’t sneer, “I’ll fight for you as long as you hold them.”
Vi holds out her hand silently.
“Don’t wear them until I am declared you patron,” Caitlyn says as she drops them into Vi’s palm.
The air feels hot and Caitlyn has to get out of the room. She holds the bunny as she goes to the door. Vi stares at the earrings in her hand, but instead of going to the window she moves over to the bed and sits back down.
“What if I fuck it up?” Vi asks, a note of uncertainty in her voice.
“That doesn’t matter anymore,” Caitlyn says with more confidence than she feels. Vi looks at her, “I’m your patron now. I’ll fight for you.”
VI stares at her and then gives a small, honest nod. Caitlyn returns the gesture and hurls herself out of the room. She wonders if everything is so serious and heavy with Vi. If that’s just her or is it the Undercity. She feels strange. Older somehow. She hears her mother in the living room and follows the sound of the letter opener. Her mother looks up as Caitlyn comes down the stairs and sits on the couch. Her mother’s eyes narrow. Caitlyn knows she looks disheveled and is carrying the bunny. If she thinks it smells bad her mother does as well. Their eyes meet over the letter and her mother raises an eyebrow in a silent inquiry.
Caitlyn pushes herself up and walks over, sitting next to her on the couch.
Her mother is quiet for a moment. But then she moves over, allowing Caitlyn to sit so they share the space. Caitlyn looks at all of the letters spread out. All the people who need something from House Kiramman. Her mother reads them all. She sends notes even when she declines request. It’s so much impossible work. She sees handwriting that looks like it might be Jayce’s.
“I’d like to control Vi’s patronage.”
Her mother frowns and looks down at the rabbit.
“Caitlyn you barely know the girl,” her mother replies, “and you’ve just been through a trauma.”
“She has a good heart,” Caitlyn says, “I can tell,” she looks at her mother, “I need to practice my duties as a Kiramman,” she points to the letters; Her mother hesitates. Caitlyn feels the bunny rabbit and plays her trump card, “you can supervise me.”
Willingly submitting to her mother’s tutelage is something she hates doing. Her mother’s standards are impossibly high. As soon as she was an acceptable shot, Caitlyn had begged for a different tutor. Her mother remarked once she would have tried to get someone else to teach her to walk, if she had the choice. Caitlyn remembers her mother watching her dance and can’t quite disagree. Her mother sets down the letter and reaches forward, fixing Caitlyn a cup of tea. A stall tactic. Caitlyn knows she’s close to giving in.
“Let’s see what Sheriff Grayson has to say,” she says, “we need to make an informed decision.”
Caitlyn nods and scalds her mouth with tea so her mother won’t see her triumphant smile.
Notes:
Okay okay i have been convinced to make this into a multichapter. They will be aging up soon (like next few chapters) because I can't write romance with teenagers. But now we have a foundation!
Chapter Text
They watch Vi scramble over the obstacle course.
She grows confident as she moves, though she nearly slips in the beginning. It’s bizarre to Caitlyn until she realizes Vi has probably never climbed something actually intended for climbing. Once she adjusts to the sanded surfaces and clay moulded grips, everything changes. She moves through the course seamlessly. Caitlyn sees the numbers ticking on Sheriff Grayson’s chronometer. She sees the course record posted to the board on the wall. Over Sheriff Grayson’s head, her eyes meet Vi’s. Caitlyn jerks her head towards the end.
Vi swings her legs back and kicks forward, sailing across the next three rungs and grabbing the fourth. She hauls herself onto the top of the bars and glances around. Her shoulders tense, then loose, then she runs the top of the bars and throws herself into the air. For a moment she’s suspended there. The foam blocks will not matter if she breaks her neck on the next obstacle. But Vi sails over it, grabs the rope she’s supposed to be making her way towards and wraps her legs around it. She hauls up to the top and glances down. Caitlyn mimes tapping the pad and Vi smacks her hand against it. Sheriff Grayson stops her chronometer as the bigger one on the wall freezes.
For a moment everything is silent.
Caitlyn claps before she realizes. But Vi’s broken the record and people always clap when that happens. Her mother and Sheriff Grayson trade a look that Caitlyn does not care enough to parse out. Vi has demonstrated every quality the course tests and broken the record. Not the cadet record, the overall one. There’s nothing explicitly in the rules about having to do every obstacle, nor is there anything about how you do them. The goal is to see how you move through rough terrain. How you problem solve in case they ever go to war again and have to invade. It’s a foreign environment to everyone but Vi seamlessly handles it. She lowers herself down the rope and walks over.
“That was not bad for your first try,” Sheriff Grayson says.
“I broke your record,” Vi points out. Her eyes dart to Caitlyn who tries to remind her she has to show respect, “I’ll do better next time.”
Sheriff Grayson jerks her head and Vi walks over to the starting point. She rubs her hands on her pants and Caitlyn points to the bowl of chalk. Vi gives her a questioning look and Caitlyn dusts her hands together.
“Caitlyn,” her mother says.
“She doesn’t know about the chalk,” Caitlyn says. Her mother arches a brow, “that’s not part of the course.”
Her mother looks at Sheriff Grayson who walks over to Vi. Vi’s entire face shows displeasure when Sheriff Grayson motions for her hand. But she holds it out. Sheriff Grayson directs it to the bowl and Vi rubs her palms in it. The dust billows up and makes her sneeze. Both she and Sheriff Grayson get a good amount on their fronts. But Sheriff Grayson just sets the bowl down and walks back over to her position at the end. She resets her chronometer and the main one as Vi brushes chalk along her shins. That look passes between the adults. This time Caitlyn sees the skepticism shifting into something else. Something that makes her think this is going to work after all.
“Start!”
Caitlyn wants to protest not counting Vi in but as soon as the order comes, she’s off. She is so fast. She barely even looks as she traverses obstacles in a way Caitlyn has never seen before. A way they are not supposed to be done. Her legs become way more involved and Caitlyn can see why she rubbed the chalk across her shins. This time when she smacks the pad the old record looks like a joke. She’s much higher when she lets go of the rope and drops into a crouch when she lands. There’s almost a swagger to her walk when she comes over to them for the verdict.
“Not bad,” Sheriff Grayson says noncommittally.
“I just did it faster!”
“If I jumped half the obstacles, I would have done it faster too,” Sheriff Grayson says.
“Like you could figure that out,” Vi starts. Caitlyn forces herself to sneeze and Vi grinds her teeth together, “you want me to do all the obstacles this time?”
“If you want,” Sheriff Grayson says, “or we can keep this,” she says holding out the time.
They can stop now.
Vi turns on her heel and walks back to the bowl of chalk. This time she claps it up her arms and rolls one of her pant lets up above her knees. She draws two angry chalk lines across her cheeks and drops into a crouch. Sheriff Grayson lets her hover there, poised, for a few seconds. Just enough time for Vi to lift her head to see what’s happening.
“Go!”
Vi recovers from the false start. She hits every obstacle. What she misses with her hands she touches with her face or her shins, leaving chalk across every clay hold and bar. She starts at the bottom of the rope this time but hauls up it like it’s nothing, smacking the pad that pauses the chronometer. She beats the record, Sheriff Grayson’s old record, by less than a second. But she still beats it. This time she’s starting to breathe harder at the end. But she’s still steady when she walks back over.
“Again?”
Sheriff Grayson shows the confirmed time to her mother. Her mother nods towards the start.
“Again.”
Vi runs it twice more before she stumbles. Her face collides with one of the clay footholds and smacks the wood of the obstacle. Even though it’s sanded, the force of it splits her lip and her eyebrow. She just shoves herself forward. Caitlyn is going to run and help but her mother claps her hand on hers. She holds her there as Vi finishes and her knees buckle when she drops from the rope. She collects herself and then walks over. She stands in front of them panting harshly, covered in sweat and chalk. But she holds her head high and looks at them. Waiting for her next task. It takes her a moment to get enough air to speak with any kind of force.
“Again?”
“No, that’s enough,” her mother says, “we’ve seen what we need to. You may return to the locker room.”
She keeps Caitlyn’s hand pinned as Vi stumbles off the mat and onto more solid ground. Her knees buckle but she catches herself on the edge of the rail that circles their seats. Caitlyn’s own shoulders ache in sympathy as Vi’s take all of her weight. A harsh sound is pulled from her, but no-one moves to help. Vi tightens her grip on the metal and hauls herself back to her feet. She staggers out of the room, the doors banging behind her. Caitlyn’s hand is not freed.
“She broke your record,” her mother says, “each time except the last.”
“She was impressive,” Sheriff Grayson agrees, putting the chronometer away, “but can she work as a unit?”
“She listened to me,” Caitlyn points out. They both look at her, “she looked at me when she didn’t understand and listened. That’s teamwork.”
“Where would you start her?” Her mother asks Sheriff Grayson.
“She would need to go to The Academy,” she says, “full time boarding. She needs to perform as a unit without trying to impress anyone.”
Caitlyn does not like the idea of Vi shipping off to the Academy. Even if she has begged her parents for years to consider sending her there. The school is part school, part training grounds. The best Enforcers come from there. It’s all Caitlyn wants but each time she is refused. It tastes bitter to see her dream being given to someone else. But that is the role of a Patron. They invest and slip behind the scenes, enable others to take the lions share of the glory in return for the real power.
“I agree with Sheriff Grayson,” she says.
Her mother raises her eyebrows. They both know if Vi goes to the Academy Caitlyn never will. It’s written into the bylines of the school. The noble families may only have one attendee at a time. It’s to prevent the loss of the bloodline. Caitlyn has always known as the heir she will never get to go, but that has never stopped her from trying to find a way. If she gives this spot to Vi, she will close that door entirely. By the time it opens again it will be at graduation.
“Very well,” her mother says, deferring to her in a way that would have made Caitlyn proud under any other circumstances, “you’ll prepare the paperwork?” Sheriff Grayson nods, “Caitlyn will be signing,” she says, “the tuition bills should be addressed to her.”
“Your first Patronage, Kiramman?” Sheriff Grayson says folding her arms.
She doesn’t call her young for once. Which is good because Caitlyn does not feel young.
“Under my supervision, of course,” her mother says, the hand softening and letting Caitlyn fold hers together, “but it’s time for Caitlyn to take on more of her duties,” she glances at Caitlyn, “your lessons will continue of course.”
“Of course,” Sheriff Grayson says, “I’ll have the forms brought to you.”
She walks off and they stand in silence for a moment.
“I don’t know why you are doing this,” her mother says.
“Because—“ Caitlyn stars but she holds up a hand.
“But if this is what I suspect, you need to be smarter about this Caitlyn,” Caitlyn frowns, “people are going to do things to impress you but it will not be for you. It is for your money, your influence—“
Horror and embarrassment slam into Caitlyn like she is the one who fell off the obstacle course.
“She didn’t seduce me!” She blurts out.
Her mother looks so relieved Caitlyn wants to vomit. She can feel her face getting spectacularly hot as she remembers her mother catching them in rooms behind closed doors. She remembers the way Vi looked at her and leaned up and suddenly she has to reconsider whether or not she has just lied to her mother. Again. That is not a problem for right now. Right now she has to salvage what is left of her dignity so this arrangement can go through.
“She’s going to the Academy,” Caitlyn says.
“Your Patronage will still go through,” her mother says, “the greatest risk will be the cost of tuition. But—“ she looks at Caitlyn and demands her attention, “until you are of age there will be ground rules. When she is at the house for breaks there will be no closed doors. Your correspondence will be reviewed. Your accounts supervised. You may continue your lessons with Sheriff Grayson but your focus will be on school and any other responsibilities I deem you ready for. Whether this continues is entirely based on your behavior, Caitlyn. Do we understand each other?”
Caitlyn wants to choke under the responsibility. Instead she tugs her shirt and smooths her skirt and pushes her hair behind her ears. Off her face. It’s not the perfection her mother wishes but she hopes it shows her sincerity to try. She meets her mother’s gaze with her matching eyes.
“Yes, mother.”
Her mother gives her a hard look. Like she is trying to see in Caitlyn’s soul. Caitlyn submits to the scrutiny.
“Both of your actions will reflect on this family. Separately and together,” she says.
“I know,” Caitlyn replies and wishes it did not sound like a threat.
“Caitlyn,” her mother’s tone takes on a note Caitlyn has never heard before, “she will be in your life forever, but she can never be yours.”
Caitlyn thinks of the promises they swore to each other and nods. They have promised to be each other’s forever. She has no interest in making Vi hers, this is about them being friends. Like she is with Jayce. This will all work out, her mother just has to learn to trust her enough to see that.
“May I go see if she is alright?” She asks. Her mother hesitates, “I can open the door?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Caitlyn,” her mother says, “I will meet you both outside in fifteen minutes,” she frowns, “get some ice before you go for that lip.”
She nods and hurries away, stopping long enough to collect some ice from the chest. She finds Vi sprawled out on the bench between lockers. She’s cleaned herself up in the shower and is wearing the extra clothes her mother had her pack. Caitlyn is concerned but then sees she’s got paper towels wadded against the side of her face.
“It’s just me,” Caitlyn says, “lift your head.”
She gets Vi’s head in her lap and presses the ice to her face. Vi hisses but doesn’t pull away. Caitlyn lets the cold seep into her skin as Vi lays there. She wonders how much they will both change before the next break. Before they see each other again.
“How’d I do?” Vi asks, her voice muffled.
“Very well,” Caitlyn says, “they wanted to see how you handled authority.”
“Like you said.”
“Yes,” she says, “When we leave here you’re going to go to The Academy,” she says, “to begin your training.”
That makes Vi go stiff. She tries to get up but Caitlyn keeps her hand on the ice.
“Cait—“
“You need to go to protect your family,” she reminds her, “your uncle and your siblings. That’s why you’re here. In return I will send the money to your Uncle’s bar,” Vi flattens her hand against the ice and sits up, looking angry out of her visible eye.
“Cait I can’t be an Enforcer,” she says.
“Of course you can,” Caitlyn replies, “you would be a great one.”
Vi bares her teeth and Caitlyn can see something is wrong with the idea. But it is the only option. Her mother thinks Vi is seducing her for her money. She will not be allowed to stay in the house. It is either jail or she goes back home and they haul someone else there. Caitlyn cannot bear to tell Vi her mother’s suspicions. It’s too humiliating. She also doubts it will do anything she wants it too. She has to try something else.
“You may not want to be an Enforcer,” she says, “but you told me being a leader means you don’t get to be selfish.”
Vi’s hands dig into the ice pack. She doesn’t look upset she looks angry. The tears that gather on her lash line are exhausted and furious. But she doesn’t reject what Caitlyn is saying. They both know that she is right. Caitlyn never expected such a wise saying to come from the Undercity. Vi lowers the icepack to reveal a spectacular amount of bruised and split skin. Caitlyn opens her mouth to tell her to put the pack back but Vi forces them to look into each other’s eyes.
“You’ll send the money? So they can just have it? No banks or anything?”
“Yes.”
When Vi stands up, Caitlyn gets the feeling it’s not just exhaustion from the obstacle course on her shoulders. She straightens like there is a new weight on her. Caitlyn feels the new weight too as her mother’s words echo in her ears. Caitlyn pushes herself up as well and they stand next to each other in front of the bench. Vi reaches into her pocket and pulls out the earrings.
“Can I wear these now?’
Caitlyn hears the promise ringing in her ears. It wars with her mother’s words. She still nods. Vi doesn’t have her ears pierced but people at the Academy are always coming home with tattoos and piercings as they form their units. As they define themselves. Some small part of Caitlyn that loves rolling in dirt says she should take them back. Tell her mother she is not ready. Instead she shoves the temptation aside and folds her hands in front of her like she has been taught.
“Yes.”
Notes:
Ok it's about to be time jump o'clock. I know we wanted baby CaitVi but Cassandra Kiramman said absolutely not. They will be the ages they met in the show soon. Let me know what you think!
Chapter Text
Dear Violet,
Congratulations on making it through basic training. I’ve sent this letter ahead as I know you will pass. I hope you have not added to your scars.
Yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Cupcake,
Sorry about the grades. I’ll do better.
Yours,
Vi
Dear Violet,
Wishing you the happiest of birthdays. My mother has asked me to remind you facial piercings can make it difficult for the masks to seal. Otherwise we hope the enclosed helps you have a happy celebration.
Yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Cupcake,
Heard there’s unrest in the Undercity. Hope you’re not spending all your allowance there.
Yours,
Vi
Dear Violet,
Enclosed please find an extraction of the rulebook. Facial tattoos for officers are forbidden.
Yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Mr. Bunny,
Please tell Cupcake the words ‘forbidden’ and ‘highly discouraged’ are not interchangeable. Also please remind her I’m not an officer.
Yours,
Vi
Dear Violet,
House Kiramman wishes you a speedy recovery. You will be pleased to know the doctors do not think the ink near your eye compromised your vision. You were merely distracted during the training exercise. A full report is available for your review.
Yours,
Caitlyn
P.S.
Be more careful
Dear Cupcake,
I’m fine. Stop worrying.
-Vi
Dear Ms. Kiramman,
Congratulations on your award. I am writing to you in your capacity as Violet’s Patron. You will see she has been issued a demerit for instigating a fight, however I feel you should know this occurred when several cadets were making remarks about your photograph. Violet continues to display prodigious abilities and I strongly urge you to consider continuing her Patronage for the good of Piltover.
Sincerely,
Headmaster
Vi,
Seriously???
C.
Dear Cupcake,
I’m writing to let you know I’ve completed my penalty and am working towards attaining the same rank.
Yours,
Vi
Dear Cupcake,
Hope things are good back home and you’re not too busy with school.
Yours,
Vi
Caitlyn,
What the fuck? Write me back. I’m getting worried over here and I might need to come check on you early.
Vi
Vi,
My window is locked.
C.
Dear Caitlyn,
Steb says you’re obviously giving me ‘the silent treatment’ and says he ‘respects your game’. I’m sorry I got into trouble and reflected badly on you. Please forgive me.
Yours,
Violet
(grateful patron of House Kiramman)
Dear Violet,
I accept your apology. Fighting over me is a stupid reason to get a demerit. None of their opinions of me matter to me, they shouldn’t to you either.
Yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Cupcake,
Good news I’m promoted again. They might want to send me to officer training right after graduation. But I think maybe spending a few years in the force would make me a better leader. What do you think?
Yours,
Vi
Dear Violet,
You are the best leader I know. If you are offered the spot, I would urge you to accept it.
Yours,
Caitlyn
House Kiramman,
Please accept my deepest condolences on the passing of your Matriarch. Her service to Piltover will echo through the ages. I apologize for being unable to attend her memorial due to the evaluations. I compete in her name and in the name of the rising Matriarch Cassandra who showed me such undeserved kindness so long ago.
Your Faithful Patron,
Violet
Dear Cait,
I’m so sorry. I wish I could be there. Mr. Bunny will keep you safe, hold him tight.
X,
Vi
Dear Violet,
Your continued exemplary performance is a credit to House Kiramman. Caitlyn was complimented several times at the memorial on her handling of your Patronage. She will resume taking your account next month when she has had time to recover from the loss of her grandmother, but she did not want you to worry.
Sincerely,
Cassandra Kiramman
Councilor
Matriarch of House Kiramman
This letter authorizes Violet passage to House Kiramman for the duration of two days due to a family emergency. Should the date and time below elapse she is considered AWOL
Dear Vi,
I hope these cookies help while you’re making up the work you missed. I was so surprised to see you use my door. But it was vey nice to see you so unexpectedly. See you in a few weeks for break.
Yours,
Cait
Dear Violet,
You are a horrible person and I hope you break you nose again on the training course. Do not write to me. I will burn your letters in the fire.
Yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Mr. Bunny,
I didn’t think it was a big deal! Your mom totally overreacted.
Yours,
Vi
Dear Violet,
You and your stupid neck tattoo can choke.
Yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Cupcake,
Does this mean we’re talking? Because it actually goes all the way down my back. I thought that was why you were screaming.
Yours,
Vi
Dear Vi,
You know very well my mother does not want us behind closed doors. You have your own shower. Stop making my life more difficult, I thought protecting your family was your whole purpose.
Yours,
Cait
Dear Ms. Kiramman,
Go fuck yourself.
I’ll be at a training camp this spring.
Vi.
Dear Violet,
Enclosed please find passage home should training camp not work out. Your room is prepared.
Yours,
Caitlyn Kiramman
Dear Violet,
I hope the training camp is going well. They said we could write you here. I’m not sure what’s going on, Caitlyn won’t tell me. I imagine you won’t either. But that’s why this needs to stop. You girls are like sisters. Sister’s shouldn’t fight. I’m hoping you’ll be the bigger one.
Regards,
Tobias Kiramman
Dear Caitlyn,
Thank you for the passage home. Training camp is going well so it is not needed. I hope your break is going well too.
Regards,
Violet
Dear Violet,
I apologize for any inference it would not. I missed seeing you this vacation, I hope you will consider being home for the next.
Regards,
Caitlyn Kiramman
Dear Caitlyn,
See you in a week.
Yours (as always),
Vi
Notes:
Obviously not every letter from 7 years but I wanted to give you some idea of the exchanges. Some stuff was intentionally left vague for reasons. Next chapter will probably not be letters unless i get an idea of something else. But my current plan is next chapter we'll be back to normal writing.
Chapter 6: Coming of Age
Notes:
Surprise Late teen interlude! This was entirely unplanned and the direct result of my friend and I screaming about this fic. I am truly planning for the next chapter to be with them in their show ages but after this happened who knows. Maybe I'll do another letter chapter.
Chapter Text
Vi hates the face reflected back at her.
Her features have grown feminine, despite how she tries to hide it. Her lips are too full, her lashes too thick. Even the scar that cuts through her brow and lip doesn’t help as much as she wishes it did. Outside of her unit at the Academy, the others call her Pretty Girl and it pisses her off to no end. She doesn’t want to be pretty, she wants to be better than them.
She wants to protect her family.
The blue uniform has never gotten easier to don. The image of those blue figures watching as she sobs never goes away. She almost cries after basic when they hand her the blues. But she doesn’t. She refuses to. The last time Vi cried was when Caitlyn gave her Mr. Bunny and told her Vander’s message. Vi is a leader, she doesn’t get to be selfish. If she was, she would be home. As long as she is good at this, as long as she keeps her patronage, then they will stay safe. If she’s the best, she’ll be able to request a patrol. She can see them again.
The thought fills her heart with wild hope even as she feels sick at the sight of the uniform. She’s in the dress blues. It’s all thick velvet and polished gold buttons. There’s even a beret. Vi wants to burn the stupid hat possibly more than she wants to go home. Instead she pushes her hair back and puts the cap on. She always fixes it so her ear shows. So everyone can see the earrings Caitlyn gave her to cement this relationship. Vi wanted to hide them until she realized they told people something about her. They told them she belonged, simply by virtue of the Kiramman’s being her Patrons.
“Violet!” Counselor Kiramman calls up the stairs, “are you ready?”
“Coming Counselor Kiramman!” She calls back and leaves immediately.
One thing she has learned is you do not keep Cassandra Kiramman waiting. Though she walks quickly, she is sure to stop at the top of the stairs. Above all other things, Vi is an investment to these people. Caitlyn told her she needed to show she was a good one. Every time she enters Counselor Kiramman’s presence, she is examined by a harder pair of Caitlyn’s blue eyes. Vi submits herself to the inspection, reminds herself to show respect. All the while there’s a knot in her stomach at the idea that one day Caitlyn’s eyes will look like that. Now she submits for the appraisal and gets a slight nod.
“The uniform suits you,” she says. Vi nods in acknowledgement and makes her way down the stairs. She knows she’s pleased her when Counselor Kiramman brushes non existent lint from her shoulder, “my neck hurts remembering that collar. Thankfully, the regular one will be far more comfortable—ah!” She drops her hand, “there she is.”
Vi sees white out of the corner of her eye and her head snaps towards it before she can stop herself.
Caitlyn stands at the top of the stairs.
She’s dressed in white silk that clings to her torso and sighs into a wide skirt. The neckline is demure but cut to show a hint of her breasts. The top of the dress is edged in folds of sheer fabric that cover her upper arms. There is a sliver of skin visible between the lace and the white gloves that span her arms. Her hair has been swept up and her face has been made up. Sapphires worth more than Vi’s entire life wink from her hair, cling to her ears and drip across her throat.
She is the reason Vi is dressed in the formal uniform. The reason she is home at all. She is also the reason Vi breathes clean air, goes to school, has a soft bed under this roof. Sometimes, in the darkest part of the night when the covers are pulled over her head, Vi thinks Caitlyn might be the reason she breathes at all. She looks like she has walked out of one of the paintings that hang on the walls. Like she’s walked out of a dream. Only the misery in her eyes keeps things real. Misery that lifts when their eyes lock.
“Vi!” She says, surprise ruining the illusion. She hears Counselor Kiramman sighs as Caitlyn hurries down the stairs, “you didn’t have to come for this.”
“Of course she did,” Counselor Kiramman says, stepping in between them, “Caitlyn you cannot run in this dress.”
“The dress is fine, mother,” Caitlyn says as Counselor Kiramman tugs invisible wrinkles from the fabric. Caitlyn shifts so her mother is not directly between them. Their eyes catch and she rolls hers.
“Caitlyn!”
Vi has to turn away so she will not smile. She schools her face into the blank, respectful mask that she wears for all her instructors. Counselor Kiramman glances over at her as it locks into place and then gives Caitlyn a sharp look. Caitlyn sighs and schools her face into something serene and demure. Counselor Kiramman gives the dress another tug and fixes a perfectly shined sapphire. Then she tips Caitlyn’s chin up and gives her a sharp look before it softens.
“Lovely,” she says, “let’s go so you can be ready with your chevalier.”
“Vi can escort me to the transport at least,” Caitlyn says and grabs her arm before Counselor Kiramman can do anything about it.
Even though the layers of fabric on their skin, Caitlyn’s warmth floods the crook of her arm. Each time they meet again, something about her has shifted in a way Vi can scarcely keep up with. Today, in addition to everything, the scent of flowers and tea clings to her skin.
“You look like a painting,” Vi says. Caitlyn wrinkles her nose.
“I feel as stiff as one,” she says. Vi gives her a questioning look, “I had to be laced into this dress and I’m fairly certain you could use my hair as a weapon.”
“Don’t touch your hair!” Counselor Kiramman says as Caitlyn reaches towards it. She shoves a fan into her palm and Caitlyn unsnaps its with a graceful flick of her wrist. The moment her mother turns she holds it up and blocks them from her view. The serene mask drops.
“Get me out of here.”
“I can’t.”
“I’m serious, if you value our promise, you will burn the hall to the ground before I have to dance with that Milton,” Vi raises an eyebrow, “my chevalier. He smells.”
“Then hold your breath,” Vi hisses back, “I’m holding up my end of this deal. You gotta do the same.”
Caitlyn rolls her eyes and snaps the fan shut. She gets her expression back before Vi does. Vi coughs into her free hand and nods at Counselor Kiramman. Her eyes move between them, shifting from appraising to judging before settling on something Vi doesn’t want to understand. She always looks like that when someone is doing something she doesn’t like. Vi can’t say she gets the look more because even though Counselor Kiramman loves Caitlyn, she has impossible standards for her. She escorts Caitlyn to the transport with her mother and holds the door open for them. Caitlyn holds her hand as she climbs up and settles the dress around her.
“Violet, ride with us,” Counselor Kiramman orders.
From the look on Caitlyn’s face, Vi gets the feeling this is not a good thing. She climbs in regardless and sits across from them as the transport begins to move. Counselor Kiramman is quiet for a moment and then leans forward looking uncharacteristically sharp.
“This night is about Caitlyn’s presentation to society and your presentation to the Enforcer high command,” she says, “that is all.”
“Mother,” Caitlyn sighs.
“Don’t ‘mother’ me,” Counselor Kiramman says, “you two are not to run off together to catch up at this ball. Either of you. If one of you finds the other alone, the other is to leave. You can catch up back at the house after the event,” she looks between them, “I want your word, both of you.”
“Yes mother,” Caitlyn says.
“Yes, Counselor Kiramman,” Vi agrees.
Counselor Kiramman gives a satisfied nod and reaches into her purse, pulling out a small vial which she hands to Caitlyn.
“Put that under your nose, that Milton boy has never washed properly and I don’t expect he will start now,” she says.
Caitlyn gives her mother a grateful look and Vi’s hands ache with the knowledge this is another thing she cannot save her from. The transport brings them to the impossibly imposing hall. Tonight all of Piltover high society will be there. This is not the first time Vi has been to one of these things. She does what she needs to, but she usually winds up in the kitchens with the catering staff. Sometimes there’s even a Zaunite in the mix and Vi gets to hear about home. That is her consolation as they arrive at the entrance.
Snot nosed Milton is waiting for her and Vi had never wanted to slug someone so badly. Even if he is the son of the richest man in Piltover. Caitlyn dabs the vial under her nose and shoves it in her purse. She gives Vi one last look before fixing her mask on place and stepping out with impossible grace. Milton thrusts his hand up and Caitlyn takes it, making it seamlessly look like he has guided her down the step. Vi moves to follow but Counselor Kiramman clamps her hand down on her knee.
“Not too close,” she says, “or we’ll smell him as well.”
Vi can only watch as the lights that ring the building paint Caitlyns white dress the exact shade of warm gold she remembers from Vander’s bar. Her mouth goes dry at the sight as Caitlyn and Milton sweep inside the hall. She escorts Counselor Kiramman up afterwards in a daze. She tries to collect herself but by the time they get inside, all the debutants are lined up. Obviously nothing would start without Counselor Kiramman. Because she’s escorting her Vi has to lead her to her seat. She has to stand there when the music starts and the waltz begins.
She has to watch Caitlyn waltz with Milton.
Caitlyn leads the dance but she makes it look effortless. The white silk of her dress drapes from the loop on her wrist. When she turns Vi can see the sheer fabric sweeps along the back of the dress in such a way it almost looks like a K along her spine. Obviously everyone’s eyes are on Caitlyn. She is the prized debutante here and everyone is clamoring for their chance to take her around the floor. It feels wrong to Vi on so many levels. Mostly the one where Caitlyn doesn’t look like she particularly wants to dance with any of them. But the moment the waltz comes to an end and everyone claps politely, a woman appears dressed in spectacular gold and white offers Caitlyn her hand.
“Come,” Counselor Kiramman says, “let’s begin your introductions.”
Vi is grateful for the distraction, if nothing else. She should be grateful to be introduced to these men at all. But every time the conversation pauses she has to fight every instinct to look for the flash of blue sapphires. Hell she has to fight it sometimes when the conversation is going on. Especially if she sees the flash out of the corner of her eye. Caitlyn is taller than most when she’s barefoot. In the shoes she’s wearing she is taller than a good number of the men in the room. Which means when she is swirled by on the dance floor, the sapphires tangled in her hair catch the light in the most distracting way. Though no-one Vi talks to seems to see it. Then again, they are Pilties. They are not known for being observant.
Instead of hiding in the kitchen when she wants, Vi steps outside to the balcony. It’s a little easier to breathe out here, though she does risk undoing the topmost button at her throat. Just for a moment until the weird burning feeling in her throat goes away. She hears a rustling sound and turns just in time to see Caitlyn all but hurl herself out of the ballroom and against one of the walls.
Their eyes lock.
Caitlyn still looks perfect but the moment everyone isn’t staring at her, she looks completely miserable. Vi knows she’s handled parties before, hell she’s been at them and seen how Caitlyn can command the room. There’s something about this party that seems to have rocked her. Caitlyn gives her a look of pure, desperate misery just as Counselor Kiramman comes towards the balcony.
“Have you seen—“
“No, Counselor Kiramman,” Vi says walking over to her.
“Violet,” Counselor Kiramman scolds her. Vi can smell the champagne on her breath. She does up the top button of Vi’s shirt and smooths her shoulder pads, “have you seen Caitlyn?”
“No,” Vi says, offering her arm, “may I help you look?”
Counselor Kiramman has had just enough champagne that the suspicion is absent from her eyes. Still Vi knows it’s best they don’t linger with Caitlyn less than a foot away. She leads Counselor Kiramman back into the room and finds the nearest person looking around to steer her towards. The distraction works well enough that when she sees a glint of sapphires out of the corner of her eye she flashes four fingers. That is probably all the time she can buy Caitlyn, but she hopes it is enough. Counselor Kiramman tries not to speak to people for more than five minutes at these parties. Otherwise they start offering business proposals and children for Caitlyn’s hand in marriage. Sure enough just as Counselor Kiramman is excusing herself, Caitlyn appears by her side looking put together. She looks like she wants to say something but the man speaks.
“Ah, the belle of the ball,” the old man says, “you’ll honor me with a dance?”
Caitlyn inclines her head and is swept off again.
Vi doesn’t make it to the kitchens, she stays by Counselor Kiramman’s side and buys Caitlyn five minutes of peace whenever she sees a flash of sapphires heading towards the balcony. Otherwise she just watches an endless parade of Piltovers finest try to impress her. None of it works, of course. It’s Caitlyn. Vi doesn’t think anyone has impressed her in years. Definitely not at one of these stupid parties. The night is endless for her, she can’t imagine how long it is for Caitlyn. But finally Counselor Kiramman touches Vi’s shoulder.
“It’s time for us depart,” she says, “go get Caitlyn.”
Vi waits for the music to end and steps in before the next dance partner can claim her. Something hopeful flares in Caitlyn’s eyes and Vi is glad she can give her this one thing.
“Counselor Kiramman says it’s time to go.”
Caitlyn doesn’t look relieved like she is expecting. Her face actually falls for a moment, though Vi knows she’s been dying to leave all night. Then that calm Kiramman mask is fixed on her face. She nods and places her hand on top of Vi’s. Her white satin glove shines on top of the matte short gloves that cover Vi’s fingers. It is a more formal way of escorting a lady. Which Caitlyn is now. So Vi flattens her arm behind her back and escorts her from the hall. Counselor Kiramman is waiting for them at the stairs and takes Caitlyn’s arm.
Vi’s hand burns at the loss of contact.
“Beautiful, isn’t she,” one of the men from the night says, “going to make a fine wife—“
“She’s my patron,” Vi cuts in, unable to listen to this man potentially plot to marry her, “I’m sworn to defend her with my life.”
Those are two entirely separate things but there’s been enough liquor involved that he just nods and lumbers off. Vi breathes a sigh of relief. The closest she’s come to compromising her patronage was when she lost it on a bunch of other trainees in the locker room. She hadn’t even realized what she was doing until they were in crumpled heaps. Caitlyn had been furious with all the paperwork and trouble she had caused, but Vi had gotten her forgiveness eventually. It was a stupid thing to do. She almost lost her ability to keep her family safe and she refuses to compromise that ever again. But if the guy started plotting against Caitlyn—Vi cuts the thought off. She is not here for Caitlyn she is here for her family.
She comes into the car where Caitlyn is sitting with her head on her mother’s shoulder. She looks exhausted but Counselor Kiramman doesn’t seem to mind. Caitlyn has done her duty tonight in a way even her mother finds admirable. She nods when Vi looks at her for directions and Vi climbs into the transport. Caitlyn looks up when she gets in. As soon as the doors are closed and the transport begins to move, Counselor Kiramman nudges Caitlyn up and has her turn.
“Violet, give us your hat,” she says and Vi has never taken anything off so quickly.
With sure fingers, Counselor Kiramman pulls the sapphire combs from Caitlyn’s hair and pulls it free. Her hair has been combed through with something that makes it stiff, but from the way her shoulders relax, the absence of the combs helps. She undoes the earrings as well and produces a key from her own purse to unlock the sapphires that drape Caitlyn’s neck. She hands the hat to Vi and Vi’s entire body screams at her to stop the car and make a break for it. She has no idea what the sapphires in her hat cost, but any piece of jewelry that requires a key to undo must cost a lot. Instead she folds the edges of the hat together and holds it in her lap as Caitlyn lays back against the seat.
“You performed well,” Counselor Kiramman says.
“Thank you mother,” Caitlyn replies.
There is a beat of silence and then Counselor Kiramman makes a noise in the back of her throat.
“Violet, would you mind taking off her shoes?”
“Oh, Vi doesn’t have to—“
“I don’t mind,” Vi says instantly.
She’s already taking off her gloves. Given the amount of dancing Caitlyn’s been doing she has a feeling this is going to get messy. Caitlyn looks at her and gives a little nod. Vi draws her foot into her lap and eases off the shoe. Caitlyn winces but lets her put aside the once-pristine heel. Her foot is pretty raw. She keeps the foot in her lap as she draws the there one up and eases off the shoe. This foot is no better. Caitlyn’s face is tight with discomfort, but Vi knows better than to ask her why she’s put herself through this when they both know she has more comfortable shoes. The answer is sitting right next to her.
The transport arrives in front of the house. Vi helps Caitlyn down before Counselor Kiramman can give her one of those looks. It’s not like either of them haven’t walked up the driveway barefoot. But Caitlyn winces with every step. It’s too much for Vi to stand. She crouches in front of Caitlyn.
“Put your arms around my neck,” she says.
Caitlyn does and Vi finds her legs amidst the poofy skirt. She hooks her arms around them and stands up, drawing Caitlyn’s weight onto her back. She starts to walk hoping to make it far before Counselor Kiramman tries to make her put Caitlyn down. But she doesn’t say a word as she follows them carrying Caitlyn’s shoes. Vi carries her up the stairs, past her bedroom and all the way to the family wing where Caitlyn’s room is. Caitlyn makes a soft sound of protest when she goes to set her on the bed.
“Hey, it’s okay. You’re home,” Vi assures her.
“No,” Caitlyn says, sounding more awake and miserable, “oh—it’s over?”
“Yeah,” Vi says, “you did great. Your feet are pretty banged up though,” Caitlyn looks down and suddenly looks like she may cry, “it’s just some blisters, you’ll be back in your practical heels in no time.”
“No, it’s not that—“ Caitlyn says. In that same hesitant way she’s been looking every time she’s tried to speak and someone has swept her away, “I was waiting for a dance.”
“Cupcake, you danced with every available person at that ball,” Vi says with a chuckle.
Caitlyn doesn’t return the sentiment. She looks more miserable if possible. Vi hates it when she looks miserable. Even now that she’s older, even now that she understands the extent of the bargain she made as a kid, Caitlyn looking miserable is something she’s never been able to stand. Even though she looks more and more like one of the rich Pilties who says she doesn’t belong, Caitlyn has never actually gotten to that point. Not yet anyway. That’s why she’s the only one Vi will write letters to. She got into another fight over it with someone else who had a Patron. That was the first time she learned the way Caitlyn treated her was not how all noble families treated their investments.
“Look if they were too stupid to dance with you this time, Cupcake, there’s always next time,” Vi assures her. Caitlyn looks up hopefully, “if you want them still.”
The air has been doing this weird thing between them sometimes where it gets hot. Even when there isn’t a fire. It crawls under Vi’s skin like that crystal Powder dropped. The crystal that changed the trajectory of Vi’s life forever. When the feeling starts she has the same urge to run away. She can’t help but think that if it keeps going, it’s going to change her life again. And she doesn’t want anything to change. This is how she keeps her family safe. And she gets to have a friend like Caitlyn.
“I’m going to get someone to help you out of the dress,” she says jumping to her feet, “you just stay there.”
Caitlyn falls back onto her bed with a groan.
“Thank you for your help tonight.” She says.
Vi nods and takes one last look at Caitlyn in her perfect white dress. Somehow the stained hem and the ruined hair make it even prettier. Or maybe it’s the glow of the fire that paints her in those same gold colors that remind Vi of her lost home. It makes that bomb feeling start in Vi’s chest. Makes her have to remind herself that is not her old home, it is home. And Caitlyn is just a Piltover mirror reflecting what Vi really wants. The door is open as per Counselor Kiramman’s instructions so Vi just nudges it wider as she leads two maids into Caitlyn’s room.
“Thank you for your help tonight, Violet,” she says.
“Is there anything else I can do to be of assistance, Counselor Kiramman?”
“Leave your uniform out I will have it laundered before you return to the Academy,” she says, “that will be all.”
Vi dips her head in respect and keeps it there as the small army enters Caitlyn’s room.
She thinks she hears a sob.
But the door closes before she can be certain.
Chapter 7: The Letters
Notes:
Okay one more letter chapter! Same rules these are random letters for the years between Caitlyn's debutant ball and where the story picks up.
New rule: if a letter has been crossed out partially, the recipient can see what was said. If it's been crossed out completely, it was never sent.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Dear Vi,
You left this morning before I was even awake. Here is your dress uniform. First, thank you for helping me back to my room last night. I would not have made it without you. Second, I apologize for the whole shoe thing in the car. My mother never should have asked and if I could have bent over in that corset I would have done it myself. I hope you had a pleasant journey back to school and no occasions force you to wear a beret again anytime soon.
Yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Caitlyn,
Don’t sweat it. How are your feet healing up? I accidentally snapped one of the heels before I left so hopefully your mom just threw the shoes out.
Regards,
Violet
Dear Vi,
My mother said you’re staying at school this break, I didn’t receive any notice of a training exercise. Are you alright? Am I not remembering something after the ball? Please don’t hold that against me.
Yours sincerely,
Caitlyn
Dear Caitlyn,
It’s nothing you did. I just need to spend the time preparing for exams if I want to get into officer training. I don’t want to slow down your holiday by studying. I’ll see you during spring break.
Yours sincerely,
Violet
Dear Vi,
There have been riots all week, they are talking about closing the bridge. Extra shipments have gone to the bars, but it may be a bit before more can get though. Please be safe if they call you up.
Yours,
Cupcake
Request Status: Denied
As a shortlisted officer candidate your request to join patrols on the Bridge of Progress has been denied.
See below for appeals process.
Request Status: Denied
Your request to remove yourself from officer candidate consideration has been denied.
No further appeals are available to you.
Request Status: Denied
Your request to keep your (1) application to drop the shortlisted officer status and (2) application for patrols on the Bridge of Progress from being sent to C. Kiramman has been denied.
Records have been forwarded
Dear Violet,
The riots are easing. Bars are well stocked and packages are going through.
Regards,
Caitlyn Kiramman
Dear Cupcake,
I hope the hunting trip went well. Sorry we didn’t see each other over break. Maybe next time if we’re both in town.
Yours,
Vi
Dear Violet,
I was sorry to miss you as well and hope to see you next break if our schedules align.
Regards,
Caitlyn Kiramman
Dear Vi,
It was wonderful spending so much of the summer with you, but you really need to work on saying goodbye. I even got up early but you were already gone. Tell your unit I said good luck on the next phase. I know you all will do great.
Yours,
Caitlyn
Status: Active (pending)
Medical Notes: Patient Violet (Vi) is cleared for active duty. Attached documentation x-rays (r,l radius, r,l ulna) show complete healing of displaced transverse fractures (l radius, r,l, ulna) and compound fracture (r, radius) .
Recommendations: Continued physical therapy and use of brace for right (r) wrist as recommended.
Please note: Patient’s psychological evaluation has been conducted by Dr. T. Kiramman as specially authorized by House Kiramma t. [Notes omitted]
—
Dear Vi,
I hope you get this eventually. Post has been incredibly slow. Someone tried to send us a bomb through the pneumatic tube system, if you can believe that. But Sheriff Grayson says it is working now. People have started to not look at me so oddly since my guards discovered the bomb first. Thankfully, mother sees the reason in letting me learn about our greatest investment. Who knows? Maybe I’ll still be working here when you get here. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?
Yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Counselor Kiramman,
I hope this letter finds you well. I apologize if this is an overstep, but as someone from Zaun I wanted to offer my insight. Zaunites do not give up easily, there is never one attack when a target is chosen. I fear more attacks may follow on the Enforcer headquarters if Caitlyn was the intended target. Her safety and the future of House Kiramman is reason for reaching out and risking offense. I sincerely hope I have not caused any.
Your faithful patron,
Violet
(Patron of House Kiramman)
Dear Violet,
The purpose of my letter is to assure you your patronage will continue. You have been a great benefit to Caitlyn’s development and to House Kiramman. One day your insights will benefit all of Piltover. While I have reminded Caitlyn of this many times, she is still maturing. I hope you will continue to think kindly of her and our House as she learns from this disappointment.
Sincerely,
Cassandra Kiramman,
Matriarch of House Kiramman
Counselor of Piltover
Dear Caitlyn,
I’m sorry
I’m so sorry
Please talk to me
I just wanted you to be safe.
Yours,
Vi
Dear Caitlyn,
You’ll get the letter soon but I got accepted into officer school. Hope you’re doing okay.
Yours,
Vi
Dear Violet,
She’s just upset and looking for someone to blame. I have a brother myself. Sometimes your sister is the easiest one. We know you were just trying to protect her, like a good sister. She’s not burning your letters, she’s just not responding. Keep trying. That sisterly bond will always be between you two.
Regards,
Dr. T. Kiramman
Dear Caitlyn,
I’m sorry.
Yours,
Vi
Dear Violet,
Congratulations on your acceptance. We shall celebrate when you return home during break. No early gift though, I’ve spent all my allowance at a bar again. I apologize for my lack of letters, I’ve been terribly busy with some new duties. I shall tell you all about them when we meet again.
Regards,
Caitlyn Kiramman
Dear Cait,
You don’t need to throw me a party. Especially if you’re already spending your allowance, hope your mom’s not too worried about that.
Yours,
Vi
Dear Violet,
The allowance is to teach me to manage money. Hopefully the woman I marry will find those numbers enjoyable and be trustworthy enough I do not need to review them constantly. I have made mother aware of that desire but if you happen to meet anyone at officer school who is from a respectable family, fits the bill and impresses you—please tell them to contact mother. Promptly.
Regards,
Caitlyn Kiramman.
Dear Cait
Apologies for murdering everyone who fit your description at school. It was intentional. They weren’t good enough for you anyway. Since I am the only officer left with a pulse, by default my family is respectable since the others are gone. How do you feel about getting married in a bar?
Love.
Yours,
Vi
Dear Caitlyn,
I’ll keep my eyes peeled when I get there. Let me know if you need me to come up with a way to stall her when I’m visiting.
Sincerely yours,
Violet
Notes:
REMEMBER IF IT WAS CROSSED OUT COMPLETELY IT WAS NEVER SENT. That's important. Now we'll get back to them being their show ages. Caitlyn is done with her schooling and Vi has been accepted into officer school but has not attended yet.
Chapter 8: The Destroyed Letters
Notes:
I swear 2 god this is the last one. I was peer pressured into this on tumblr so you all get to suffer. NO ONE HAS READ THE LETTERS BELOW. Again random excerpts blah blah blah.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Burned Letters Consumed by the Kiramman Fireplace
Dear Vi,
There was a bird on my windowsill and it made me think of you. It seems very strange to miss someone you have only known for a week, but I do. Maybe it’s alright since my mother says we’ll be in each other’s lives for a long time. I know you don’t believe me but I want that. I want it so badly I gave up my place at the academy for you. But that is what friends do for another. All my books say so. I couldn’t help Jayce but I think I can help you. So just keep trying and I will keep up my end. And we can each other’s forever.
Sincerely,
Truly,
Yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Vi,
What is the point in getting your name on your face?! Are you worried you’ll forget it? I know it is a ‘unit’ thing but if I had taken your place there, I would not put ‘Caitlyn’ on my cheek. Father’s books say facial tattoos fade faster than normal ones so I will be watching closely. Did you even think about how it would look on your freckles? It looks terrible, by the way. You should have gotten it in a lighter color. You should also take out your nose ring. What happens if you get a cold? I also don’t understand why you put them both on that side of your face. Aren’t you scars enough? Every time I see you I just remember how brilliant you were on that obstacle course. Especially the one on your lip, I’m sorry it didn’t heal neater but it doesn’t detract from your lips. Not that I am looking at your lips anymore than any part of your face. The scars are just a part of it. I look at them because I was there when you got them, that’s all. Anyway your face is always going to be stupid so don’t change anything else about it. It won’t help.
Yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Violet,
You are an idiot. You’re lucky to have me advocating for you and someone like Steb doing all of the work. In school they said Zaun is full of traitors who cannot be trusted. Obviously you still carry that with you which is why you got into that fight with those cadets. Even though I have given up my dream for you and held up my end of our bargain, you are barely holding up yours. Now you’re also getting me into trouble. How dare you create more work for me and make it my fault. I’m not stupid, everyone makes fun of me behind my back. I bet you do as well. I hope Steb is as embarrassed to be your roommate and I am to be your patron you traitor.
Choke,
Caitlyn.
Dear Vi,
I know you never got the last letter because I burned it, but I know you are not a traitor and I am not embarrassed to be your patron. I was upset because no-one ever defends me. Even the people who want to be on my good side don’t do what you did. You could have gotten kicked out for fighting and ruined everything. But you still fought to defend me. I suppose I’m not going to send this one either so thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. At first I was upset you did what no-one else has ever done. But then I realized I don’t care. I would rather have you defend me than all the fake friends in the world. You’re the only one that matters. Please don’t get kicked out though, I don’t think I could bear it.
Love,
Caitlyn
Dear Vi,
I’m so scared. My grandmother is going to die before the day is through. Everyone can see it but I don’t understand how. She was fine and now she is slipping away. I’m not ready. I’m not ready to say goodbye to her. You would know what to do if you were here. I know you would. I wish you were here so badly. Sometimes when I look at her I think about how close we both came to dying that day in the lab. But if I got hurt they would help, if you got hurt I don’t know if they would. It makes me sick to think about. Even if we never met, I don’t think I could bear a world without you in it. I know I ask a lot but could you please keep me in your thoughts so I can have some of your strength for what is to come? I’d really like that.
Love,
Caitlyn
—
Violet,
You are so confusing! I cannot keep up. One minute you’re surprising me with soup and humming to me while I cry on you. Then you leave without saying goodbye when I was only going say thank you. Now you break my mother’s rules when you know she’s going to blame me for them. Why are you getting me into trouble? Did I do something wrong? Why won’t you just tell me! I’ve given you no reason to act this way. It’s like when you are nice to me you remember you’re supposed to hate me and you push me away. Why?? I’m the one with a reason to push you away, not the other way around. Your family isn’t telling you I can never be yours. My grandmother just died, why are you trying to make me so angry?
Explain yourself this instant.
Caitlyn
Dear Vi (if I can even call you that)
You were right to hate me. I am a terrible, cruel person. I know you’re only here to protect your family. I didn’t understand that before but I do now. If you had any say in the matter, I know you would be back with them. My father says we’re sisters but I know that’s not true. You already have one. I hope the money is helping her. I imagine right now we aren’t even friends after the horrible thing I said in my last letter. When you fought for me against those bullies, it felt like maybe you thought we were family. Not sisters, obviously, but something. Though I know now how foolish that is, I wouldn’t want a sister as awful as I am. It feels like my heart is breaking. I deserve to feel this way, but I wish you were here to make it better.
Always yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Vi,
I thought we were past this. I thought I made things right between us. You said things were alright between us! How could you be so cruel?! Mother said not to be in the same room, the balcony is not a room! My feet are all cut up because I kept running there to wait for you. Every time I tried you told me to stop, but then I would see you looking at me. I was so hopeful when you came over after the last dance. My feet were so sore but I would have stayed there for you. I wanted to dance with you so badly. I want to dance with you always but I could have made do with the one. I was even going to ask you, though you’re supposed to ask me since it was my ball. But I wouldn’t have minded asking if you said yes. Truthfully I was planning on asking you when we got home in case you were embarrassed about dancing with me in front of your friends, But you didn’t even look at them! So I cut up my feet running back and forth instead of saving them so we could dance with just the two of us. I was so excited. Still, I didn’t like you saying you were stupid. Even though you can be. For the record of this letter just know if you asked me in the future, the answer would be yes. Probably.
Yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Vi,
I’m writing from the hunting lodge to check and make sure you know I am avoiding you. My mother used so many favors to deny your application to go fight. Then she yelled at me about it! If she gets nosy she is going to ask where my cash is going. Right now she believes it’s at one of the Piltover bars all the other kids go to. But the moment she checks she will know I buy a single drink. I don’t know if I can lie to her so directly about where the rest of the money goes. Under no circumstances are you allowed to get yourself killed and leave me with this mess. Do we understand each other? I thought I was very clear with my letter when my grandmother was dying. I am afraid of losing you. To ensure there are no miscommunications this time please sign your next letter ‘I will always listen to Caitlyn because she’s right’ and I will know.
Yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Vi,
WAS MY LAST LETTER UNCLEAR?! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE NOR COME CLOSE TO IT! You are so lucky you’re still unconscious and there are nurses coming in to check on you. I cannot believe you left without saying goodbye so I couldn’t check that we understood each other. Why are you so terrible at saying goodbye to me? I thought things were better between us. Even though you looked terribly annoyed when we went to the lake with Lola. I told you I could tell her to get lost. I don’t even like her that much. I don’t understand why you avoided me when you said it was alright. I even asked Jayce for his opinion and he laughed so hard Viktor and Sky came to see what was wrong. He tried to stop me but I explained your behavior to them. The three greatest minds in Piltover all agreed you were being incredibly foolish and I concur. Except then they said you might be jealous and when I explained you didn’t even want to dance with me, Sky felt so bad for me she showed me her secret cookie stash. Jayce has been trying to find it for years! That is how ridiculous your behavior was. If—no when you wake up I will be sure to have them share their research with you.
Always right.
Yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Violet,
I apologize for all of my previous letters—sent and unsent. I apologize for hoping that you would dance with me. I apologize for hoping you would see me as family (not sisters). I apologize for it taking so long to get through my head that you will never care about me the way I care about you. You could have just said that. It didn’t need to be like this. It didn’t need to hurt this much. I told you how excited I was about helping Sheriff Grayson. You knew how much that meant to me. Why did you take it away? Why must you be so cruel? Well I suppose I know the answer to that. In my defense you were kind and rude in equal measure. I got confused which you meant, but that will not happen again. I am responsible for making this patronage beneficial to House Kiramman. My mother told me I could not end it, so I will make our positions clear to eliminate any further misunderstands. I know you won’t care when I ask you to keep an eye out for a future wife for me, but I hope you at least read it and know I have moved on from anything I may have felt for you.
No longer yours,
Caitlyn
Dear Vi,
Apparently you cannot ask someone to open someone else’s mail without it being a crime. Nor can you bribe the post office to not send a letter you have already sent. Both things seem ridiculous to me. It’s rich of mother to say my behavior seems ridiculous. She’s been reading our letters for years! I explained this was the same situation and she made that noise. You know the one. Usually she only makes it when father is writing his letters. Am I being as ridiculous as father? I don’t know. I don’t think so. I need to stop whatever this is, it’s too confusing and soon you’ll be off saving Piltover. Officer training bought us more time together and we’ll always be in each other’s lives, but you will soon be off making your own. Maybe I’ll get to meet your friends, your girlfriend—I hope I do. I would very much like to be a part of your life. But it won’t be like this. Maybe it’s best you get the letter after all. Maybe then we can say a proper goodbye and part as something like friends. I’m starting to feel foolish writing these letters to you. Maybe if I just keep burning them, it can stay a secret between us. Not you and I, it’s a secret between me and Mr. Bunny.
Someone who was once yours,
Caitlyn
Anonymous Notes Flushed Down the Academy Toilets
I hate it here. I hate it so much. I wish you never told me about what my uncle said so I could run away. I don’t belong here. I’m never gonna belong here. I know I fucked up but I can’t do this! I just want to go home. Why can’t I just go home?
I panicked during the test today and I know I failed. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry please don’t send me home. They’re going to come after my sister and my brothers. I can’t let them do that. I’ll try harder just please keep them safe.
I’m so scared. I’m so alone. I can’t tell anyone why but I guess I’m destroying this anyway. Enforcers killed my parents. I saw them on the bridge, they killed my parents and they just watched as Powder and I sobbed. We were kids. If Vander hadn’t been there they would have killed us too. God, am I going to have to kill a kid one day? I can’t do it. Every time I see the blue out of the corner of my eye I think they’re here for me. I guess they are. Except instead of killing me they’re here to absorb me. I think that scares me more. How stupid is that? I’m so dumb.
I know you’re mad about the tattoo. I knew you would be. But I’m losing myself here every day. When I look in the mirror and I see our earrings it helped but it made me think of you. Now when I see my name I think of me. When I turn my face I can see us both there. Just like I can see my sister. Did I ever tell you we have the same eyes? They’re our mom’s eyes. Now I see everyone important when I look in the mirror instead of just seeing a monster.
I was going to kill them. Who the hell are they to make fun of you? You’e the best person in this fucked up city. They were nice to your face and then turn around and pull that shit? That’s not how things are in Zaun. You say it with your face or you shut the hell up. You’re an honorary Zaunite okay? And one day we’re going to be in Vanders bar and you and Powder are going to be trading tips on how to keep your hair blue. It’s going to be great. Everything’s going to make sense again. I’ll get us there, I promise.
I can’t do this. I know you’re mad. I’m mad too. All I wanted was for us to be at Vander’s bar one day. But your mom is never gonna let that happen. She is always gonna see me as the kid who caused so much trouble. I know I put you in danger with the bomb thing but I swear that wasn’t me and I would never do it again. I’d do anything to keep you safe. I know you’re pissed I didn’t say goodbye but goodbyes mean hugs. How am I supposed to let you out of my arms? It’s better this way.
You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I know those outfits were stupid, I know you were uncomfortable and I hate seeing you in pain. But when I die I swear I’m going to see you coming down the stairs in those sapphires with my last breath. I’ll pretend you were walking towards me.
I’m losing my mind here. How am I up here dreaming of you and my family is down there suffering? I know you’re sending them money. I know they’re surviving because of you and our relationship. But how am I supposed to sit here while they’re suffering? What’s the point of this if I’m here and they die? I know you’ll never forgive me but I have to try to get to them. I’m sorry. I wish I could take you with me.
She’s a whore. You know she is. Who the hell is she to make fun of us being friendly? I know you couldn’t hear her but come on. You shouldn’t have agonized over your bathing suit because she didn’t deserve to see you in one. Can you move onto someone better?
Could that someone maybe be me?
Be mad at me I don’t give a shit. I was going to write to Sheriff Grayson next. Fuck, I’d send a decoy bomb myself if it meant you were out of there. I lost my parents to the last conflict. I’m not losing someone else I love. Hate me all you want, but be alive to hate me. That’s all that matters.
It’s really fucking hard to have you hate me. I know you think I’ve got a good heart but you’re wrong. My heart’s strong. That’s it. I thought it was strong enough for all of this but you hating me makes it feel like it’s broken. I know I have no right to ask for anything but could you stop? Please? Be mad at me, that’s easy. That’s good. But just don’t hate me.
You know what fuck you. You want to use full names fine. In Zaun we don’t have last names so just know when I’m signing my first name, it’s my full name. Not as fancy of course but it’s still a full name. No more nicknames. I’m calling you your full name when I come home, that’ll show you.
I’d give anything for you to sign your letters like you used to.
I miss you so much. I know I ruined it but I miss whatever was happening between us. I miss it so much. I had to keep you safe. I know I was an idiot for thinking it could work. But just know a part of me is always going to dream of us at Vander’s bar. You being a part of my family (not my sister). This all working out somehow. I know it won’t but a girl can dream. Makes taking the blue more bearable somehow when I think of how it matches your hair.
Notes:
REMEMBER NO-ONE HAS READ THESE EXCEPT THE PERSON WHO WROTE THEM. Yes Caitlyn says 'like i said in my last letter' but that is just her being upset. She has sent none of these. Okay next time we are show ages and back to regular writing!
Chapter Text
Caitlyn wakes with her door open.
That in itself is strange. Her door is only open when Vi is visiting but she is not due back for another day. As she gets her bearings she smells the familiar scent of Academy soap and Vi’s skin. Vaguely she remembers a soft touch and tugging on a familiar blue sleeve. Half awake but Vi never came home without telling her. The sheets next to her are tucked in with military precision. Not slightly rumpled like she leaves them. Then she sees the mark on her duvet. The black smear. She gets up and grabs the robe over her screen, tying it furiously around her waist and marching out of the room. She can hear the voices downstairs, including the one responsible for the black mark on her pristine bed. She’s already seeing red when she rounds the corner of the stairs.
“Really, Violet, another one?” Her mother turns Vi’s arm over, “you’re going to run out of skin.”
“You can’t see it in my uniform,” she points out. Her mother looks disapprovingly at Vi’s neck and face, “like you asked.”
“Yes, well,” she says putting down Vi’s arm, “you’re going to have the strangest officer portraits,” she sets down her cup and glances up, “Ah, Caitlyn, finally awake. Look who arrived last night while you were asleep.”
Caitlyn is so angry the scolding barely registers. Vi knows to take her shoes off. She knows now everyone will be aware she was asleep in Caitlyn’s bed. She knows but she does it anyway because Vi gets to do what she wants. Vi looks up at her with those grey blue eyes. While the years have stretched Caitlyn upwards, Vi has built herself out. Every bit of her is muscle. From the back she looks like every other cadet. From the neck down she almost looks it. There’s a hit of her hips and breasts, but Vi limits them with the cut of her pants and the type of bra she wears. Everything about her dares anyone to say something about how she does not belong with her unit. From the neck down they look pretty much the same. That is how Vi likes it.
Unfortunately for both of them though, Vi is devastatingly beautiful.
Her face is heart shaped. The grey blue eyes are set under warm brown lashes and eyebrows that arch almost delicately. Even though Vi has shaved through one of them in an effort to disguise it and highlight the scars from her first obstacle course run. Her lips are full and perpetually in an almost pout, even with the scar through the top. She tries to minimize them but the pink always draws to the riot of strawberry hair. She kept the undercut, but it’s trimmed now to fall over one side of her face. Vi wipes a hand over the back of her neck. Caitlyn’s earrings are still high on the shell of her ear. The promise.
Caitlyn is going to make her choke on it.
“I’m aware,” she says, “Vi came in to say hello.”
“I scared her half to death,” Vi says to her mother, who picks up her tea with affection still in her eyes.
“You put your shoes on my bed!” Caitlyn snaps.
Vi is a good investment. Caitlyn could not ask for a better one to start with. But Caitlyn hates the fact that she is so good at everything. Vi is a natural leader. She wears authority without a second thought. There is no job too intimidating, no task too daunting. Even when she fails it is never crippling to her. She stands up, brushes herself off and keeps going. Caitlyn says its because she has nothing to lose but she knows that’s not true. Vi has everything to lose and she doesn’t let it stop her. It’s so many things but right now it grates on her last nerve as Vi gives her that look. The one that makes Caitlyn go stupid with anger.
Vi is needling her.
Like a stupid tattoo she’s digging at her and slipping under her skin and Caitlyn hates it. She is an Heiress. That is all she is at the moment. It’s her one job to do it well. And instead of having any kind of dignity she is standing mid-morning in her pajamas yelling at an honored Patron and guest. Everyone else is dressed and ready to start their day. She is the only one making a fool of herself here. Her mother sets down her teacup and gives her the look. The one that tells her she has fallen woefully short. It’s better to get that look than get no look. But on the scale of looks Caitlyn wants to see on her mother’s face, that careful arch of her brow is not one of them. It’s the look of a disappointed teacher more than a disappointed mother. And if there is one thing Caitlyn cannot stand, it is being a disappointment.
“I apologize,” Caitlyn says, pulling herself back under control, “you surprised me,” she continues, directing her gaze at Vi, “but that is no excuse,” she smiles as Vi goes pale, “welcome home,” she says and leans down to give Vi a hug.
Vi’s entire body stiffens like it always does when Caitlyn hugs her. It’s the nuclear option in all of this but Caitlyn refuses to be the only one humiliated in this room. There’s no escaping it either. Vi can’t sneak out in the early morning. It’s too late. Both of her parents are watching. Vi has no choice but to get to her feet and return the hug. She tries to keep space between them but Caitlyn tightens the embrace. Enjoying as Vi stiffens. Vi hugs literally everyone except for her. Caitlyn doesn’t know why, but she knows Vi has no problem with the concept of hugging. She just doesn’t like hugging her. She tries to keep her arms loose but Caitlyn anticipated that. She tightens her arms around her further and hears her father make that stupid noise of relief.
“There are our girls,” he says to her mother, “reunited at last. Vi hug your sister properly.”
Vi chokes and muffles a noise in her shoulder. Her hot breath coming against the silk as she tightens her arms around her. Caitlyn feels her chest tighten in response as Vi's smell and the feel of her arms take over her senses. But she refuses to give into the feeling and wills her body back under control. She can do this. This is what she was trained to do. She is in control of her body and the situation.
“I hate you,” Vi mumbles into Caitlyn’s shoulder.
“It’s mutual,” Caitlyn replies sweetly into her ear.
When she steps back Vi’s arms tighten for a moment futher but Caitlyn holds her at an arm’s length. The cold air helps that final bit of control. Caitlyn’s face is a perfect mask of happiness and Vi looks about ten seconds from falling apart. Caitlyn’s blood sings in victory as she reminds them all who is the one who has mastered their craft. It’s her. She’s the victor here. She squeezes Vi’s shoulders and when she releases them, Vi drops hard onto the couch. She looks wrecked and disheveled and definitely not like someone who got the better of Caitlyn a few moments ago. Caitlyn straightens her robe and steps back.
“I apologize to both of you for letting my excitement get the better of me. I’m just so happy Vi is home.”
“Of course you are,” her father says, “nothing better than seeing your sister after a long absence,” Vi coughs and her mother hands her her cup, “but Cait you should get dressed,” he says.
Her mother directs her eyes lower to Caitlyn's chest and she folds her arms across her bust.
“Of course,” she says, “I’ll be right back.”
As soon as she makes it up the stairs her mask falls. She glances down to her chest and annoyance surges through her. There are two layers of silk but none hide the evidence of her body's reaction to the embrace. The morning is full of betrayals, it seems. Caitlyn presses her hand to her flesh and tries to rub away the obvious pebbling. She tells herself it's the victory that has an effect on her, not the hug. It’s winning over Vi, not touching her. Caitlyn realizes it’s a fruitless endeavor and crosses her arms over her chest as she stalks back to her room. Perhaps she should start sleeping in a bra the night before Vi visits. The bed is half precisely made, half rumpled and it draws more annoyance from her gut. She walks over to her side and tugs the sheets in place. But her side remains slightly wrinkled because Vi has been making her bed with military precision for years.
Annoyed, Caitlyn gets dressed in sleek black pants and a turtleneck. She armors herself the only way she can think and scrapes her hair into a ponytail. Her eyes keep dragging to the slightly open door. It only serves to annoy her further. Vi is downstairs performing her duties as a loyal patron and impressing her mother. Caitlyn decides to armor herself further with cosmetics. She’s dragging a faint stain across her bottom lip when there’s a light rap at the door.
“Come in,” she says, turning to the mirror. She doesn’t need to look, she can see the red.
“Your mom asked if you’re ready,” Vi says tightly. Caitlyn finishes and sets down the stain.
“I am,” she says, walking to the door.
Vi’s hand streaks out and everything in Caitlyn clenches at the touch. Her turtleneck sleeves are rolled up so it’s her bare skin Vi touches. Her hands are warm and rough. Hands Caitlyn wishes hers were allowed to become instead of smooth and cold. Vi looks down as though steadying herself and then meets her eyes.
“I didn’t mean it,” she says.
The annoyance winks out like a light.
It is actually possibly the most annoying thing about Vi. The needling works. Everything Vi does works. It destroys everything that Caitlyn wants the world to see when they look at her and finds that core she desperately tries to hide. Her only solace is the fact she knows she does the same to Vi. They effortlessly reduce each other to the girl on the stairs, desperate for a friend and the girl at the bottom, praying for a lifeline. At the time it seemed so difficult to be those people. But now Caitlyn knows that was the easiest it had ever been.
“I’m sorry about the hug,” she says.
Vi’s hand falls away and Caitlyn tugs down her sleeves.
“I probably deserved it,” Vi says.
“You definitely deserved it,” Caitlyn tells her. Vi grins, “I don’t remember you coming in.”
“You were half asleep,” Vi says, “but very insistent.”
“Oh god,” embarrassment floods her veins.
“No it was nice,” Vi assures her, “saved me from having to figure out if I was gonna ask.”
“You know you don’t.”
It’s an odd unspoken thing between them, one neither has ever truly been able to shake. No matter how angry they are, no matter what weirdness there is going on, if one of them wants to sleep back to back, the other lets them. Caitlyn learned the first day she knew Vi that it’s her comfort position. It tells someone you are there and it gives them their dignity. Caitlyn didn’t realize how nice it felt until Vi came home after her grandmother’s death. Caitlyn had been trying not to cry too loudly and muffled her face in the pillow. She hadn’t even heard Vi come in. But Vi had just toed off her shoes, climbed into bed and wedged their backs together. No words, no useless comforts, just that strong presence of another person breathing in tandem with you. When Vi is home, there is always one night where one of them winds up wedged against the other. Sometimes it’s when she hears Vi having a nightmare, sometimes it’s when Caitlyn is too exhausted to hold it together. Sometimes it’s for no reason at all. There never needs to be one. It just says I’m here in the way they both understand.
“What did I miss?” She asks, changing the subject.
“Just this,” Vi says turning her forearm.
Caitlyn peers at the black lines that now decorate the back of it. She glances at Vi who nods permission for Caitlyn to take her wrist and push her sleeve further up. The lines keep going. They are vaguely mechanical like all of Vi’s tattoo. Except for the puffs of smoke that swirl around the exoskeleton. She sees the bottom of a puff just past Vi’s elbow. The only color on the marks is a faint blue that decorates the smoke. The tattoo is impressive, but Caitlyn knows the most important parts are the smoke plumes. They may be the only parts that truly matter to Vi. Caitlyn brushes her thumb over it before she thinks and Vi’s flesh pebbles.
“Sorry, still sore,” she says, pulling back her arm. Caitlyn shakes the livewire feeling from her hand, “got my other arm done too.”
Her eyes scan Caitlyn’s face as though waiting for her to scold her. But Caitlyn just rolls her eyes.
“Do your legs before you add to your face,” she says.
“My legs?” Vi questions, “I’m not doing my legs,” she says as though it’s the dumbest thing she’s ever heard.
“What’s wrong with your legs?” Caitlyn questions.
“Nothing’s wrong with ‘em I’m just not getting tattoos on them,” she says as they get to the stairs.
“That’s unfortunate,” Caitlyn says and looks her dead in the eyes, “I think thigh tattoos are sexy.”
She leaves Vi staring after her as she comes down the stairs. Vi follows a moment later but far less steady. Her mother gives Caitlyn’s appearance a quick once-over followed by a cursory nod. Vi fumbles her sleeve buttons closed and straightens her shirt. Her mother gives the same nod and directs Vi to the seat next to her. Caitlyn sits opposite her father and takes the cup that he offers her.
“So, Vi, tell us how your unit is doing,” her mother says.
The conversation fades into an easy exchange of comforting voices. Vi is one of the only people Caitlyn finds herself able to relax around these days. She knows she should be paying attention in case she is asked a question, but she knows Vi will get her attention. She always does. Instead she just lets the voices wash over her and lets herself savor the actual taste of her tea. Another rarity in this world. She can simply warm her hands on the cup and let her mind drift.
She hears the knock on the door somehow.
“I’ll get it,’ Caitlyn says abruptly. Suddenly needing fresh air. She moves so quickly she actually does beat the maid to the door and opens it, “can I help you?”
A young woman is standing there holding an envelope. Caitlyn recognizes it as one of hers, the ones she uses to send money to Vi’s uncle. The envelope is creased and the ink has bled. The young woman is dressed in a school uniform from one of the academic academies. It places her near the end of her education. She’s styled her hair into two poofs on her head, each tied with a red ribbon. Her eyes are reddened with tears but look surprised that the door is open. Like she was not expecting it.
“Do you need something?” Caitlyn repeats. Annoyance joins the surprise and the girl takes a deep breath, “yes?”
Caitlyn is trying to be supportive but the girl doesn’t seem to feel she’s helping. Another thing she’s bad at. Annoyance must show on her own face because the girl gathers her wits about her and raises her chin.
“I need to speak to Violet,” she says, holding out the envelope like it’s proof of something, “I think our uncle is in trouble.”
“I’m sorry, Violet isn’t available,” Caitlyn says. No-one calls Violet anything but Vi if they know her, “I can give her a message—“
“But she’s here?” The blue haired girl sidesteps Caitlyn and gets into the foyer, “Vi!” She shouts before Caitlyn can stop her.
There’s a crash of china.
Vi doesn’t just come around the corner at the top of the steps, she throws herself around it. Caitlyn has never seen someone move so quickly in all her life. All the cool bravado Vi wears like a second skin is gone. She looks frantic, desperate in a way Caitlyn hasn’t seen since they were girls and Vi slapped her hand over her mouth and begged for her silence. Her uniform is askew and tea is seeping into her shirt over her heart. If she can feel the heat, it doesn’t seem to register. She is frozen at the top of the balcony and the blue haired girl looks at her. As they stare at each other with the same mix of horror and pain.
“Violet,” her mother appears with a similar stain by her ankle. She looks annoyed, disappointed and concerned in equal measure. All of it vanishes as she sees the guest, “Caitlyn, who is this?”
“That’s my sister,” Vi gets out, her voice wrecked with emotion in a way Caitlyn has never heard before, “Oh Powder!”
Powder’s face twists with emotion.
“Vi!”
They collide on the stairs in a tangle of limbs that takes them down. It doesn’t seem to register for either of them as they cling to each other. They are crying and inspecting and messily talking over one another. Fingers skim over hair and tug clothes as Vi’s light eyes rove over Power’s deeper ones. Her mother looks stunned and then the mask is back in place. Her father hovers back, also stunned at this turn of events. All Caitlyn can do is stare and think of Mr. Bunny when Powder’s fingers touch the earrings in Vi’s ear. The years have made the promise it actually represents slip to the back of her head as the toy has taken on new meaning. But now it roars to the front of her thoughts. It’s a promise between sisters. Sisters who are laying there in a mess of tea, snot and tears as they babble at one another.
“Violet,” her mother speaks and there is a note in her voice Caitlyn hasn’t heard directed at Vi in years. Vi’s gaze falters from her sister to her mother several times before she gives into her mother’s gaze, “why doesn’t your sister join us for tea.”
It is not a request.
Vi gets to her feet and pulls Powder to hers. She’s a slighter, shorter version of Vi. But the way she carries herself is how Vi does when she thinks no-one is looking. Or when she’s around Caitlyn. It feels wrong somehow to see it on someone else. To watch Vi’s shoulders relax to copy hers, like a weight has been lifted off her. Caitlyn doesn’t miss how Vi tucks Powder behind her as she leads her up the stairs. How her fingers wrap around Powder’s wrist and Powder just happily trots after her. Powder also moves like everything is suddenly right in the world. Caitlyn feels something ugly churning in her stomach, no matter how she doesn’t want it. Something that chuckles that Vi doesn’t even look back at her as she leads Powder up the stairs. Caitlyn follows, sidestepping the place where they were laying.
“Did you know Vi had another sister?” Her father says.
Caitlyn presses her lips together so she doesn’t say something cruel. Her father loves his brother, she knows he parents wanted her to have a sibling but it never happened. She doesn’t begrudge them the loss of something she will never understand. As she thinks of Vi’s tea stained shirt and wrecked voice, she’s almost glad she doesn’t. She cannot bring herself to shake her head and lie, nor can she nod and confirm. She needs to get out of this minefield. Just for a moment.
“I’m going to get her a cup,” she says. Her father hesitates but nods. He grants her the kindness of a moment alone, “excuse me.”
Caitlyn hurls herself in the direction of the kitchen.
She only glances back once.
The hallway remains empty.
Chapter 10
Notes:
PLEASE READ: Thank you for all the comments! Just to clear something up which is totally my fault: Powder goes to an academic academy (think like a secondary school/about to go to university) NOT the Enforcer Academy. I made a few minor edits to the last chapter that hopefully clear that up, but it's important for this chapter to know Powder is in an academic school, Vi is in Enforcer school.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Vi thinks she must be dead.
She tries to remember how she died and decides it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. Not the wetness on her shirt on the mess of tears and snot on her face. Not the fact that she’s possibly ruined a couch that costs more than her entire patronage. None of it matters because the only thing that does is sitting on the stupid expensive couch trying to answer an interrogation from Counselor Kiramman while Mr. Kiramman stares. Vi knows she’s staring too but she can’t fucking help it. She’s never going to blink again. Powder is here. Powder is here wearing a school uniform and even though she’s nervous, she’s answering the questions like she’s used to speaking when nervous. She probably answers every question in class because she’s always been so fucking smart. Vi should intervene, she really should. And she will.
But five minutes ago she would have given her soul to hear Powder’s voice again and now she can’t quite bring herself to interrupt.
Powder looks so much like their mom. Blue instead of purple but that same kind of face shape. Same upturned nose and arched brow. She looks healthy, not like when they were starving kids stealing to scrape by. Vi knows Caitlyn upheld her part of the deal and has been sending money. But this is the first time she’s seen it actually working. Powder is healthy and free and being educated. Vander has taken the money and done what Vi would have with it. Even though her uniform is neat, her blue hair is twisted up with bright red ribbons and the laces of her shoes have been made colorful. Best of all Vi sees her necklace hanging in the hollow of Powder’s throat. Like some part of Vi has been there the whole time.
“That is an impressive record,” Counselor Kiramman says and Vi realizes she hasn’t heard a single word Powder has said, “your Uncles must be so proud.”
“Uncles?” Vi questions. Powder glances at the cup and then at Vi. There’s actual nerves on her face and Vi hates that look, “whose the other?”
“Don’t be mad, Vi,” she says and sounds painfully young. Vi puts her hand on her knee and Powder relaxes into the touch, “Vander and Silco made up.”
It takes everything for Vi not to grip her knee. To keep her face blank at the words. It’s a gut punch, one that feels worse than the time she blew out all of her wristbones on the obstacle course or the time she cracked her face open on it when the pressure got to her. It takes everything she’s learned from the Kirammans and the Enforcers to get her face calm so she doesn’t scare Powder. She gets at least a little bit of the way there because Powder takes a sip of her tea and continues.
“After you got arrested, Vander was really upset. It took Benzo and Silco to get him to calm down,” she explains, “they started talking and—“ she shrugs, “they made up.”
“They both raised you?” Vi confirms, “and Mylo? Claggor?”
“All of us,” Powder says, “Benzo was around a lot too,” color splashes across her cheeks, “but he and Ekko lived next door.”
Vi is floored at the life she’s being told about. Powder grew up in a time of peace. She had food on the table, people to protect her. She doesn’t have the scared note in her voice anymore when she talks about Mylo. Vi vanished and they all stepped up. It eases some long held guilt that’s always burned in he chest. Even as she feels ashamed for thinking it was even a question that they would. They were all dumb kids back then. She doesn’t feel like a kid anymore. She has no idea why she still thought all of them would. Except Powder, Powder should still be acting like a kid. Vi doesn’t like the idea that she’s capable of holding herself together during tea like this. She should be fidgeting more or asking to be excused or any of the kid things that Vi sees those snot nosed brats do when they come over. Instead she looks—
Well, she looks like Caitlyn.
Back when they first met. Not the Caitlyn Vi knows now. The silence makes Vi look around and realize Caitlyn isn’t where she left her. Powder is a guest so of course she wouldn’t be next to her mother, but the empty seat by her father starts to make worry churn in her gut. Vi knew she overstepped with the teasing, but Caitlyn always means it when she accepts her apology. That’s why it usually takes her so long to do it. The idea they might have reached a point in their relationship where they are blatantly lying to each other makes her stomach twist. It also irks her that this new low point may have happened on the best day of her life. Why did it have to be now when all she wants to do is focus on Powder? But now that she’s noticed Caitlyn’s absence, it’s harder to focus on her sister. She can see Powder’s confusion as she looks at the empty seat and Vi shakes her head, offering the most reassuring smile she can.
“That’s really great to hear,” she says, “I’m glad Little Man stuck around. You two still close?”
Powder turns as red as her hair ribbons. A new unpleasant feeling fissions in Vi’s chest as she realizes this is the second time Powder has blushed at the mention of Ekko’s name. Her incredible, troubling maturity seems to crumple in the face of it. Fo all Vi was not a fan of how mature Powder was being, she finds she likes this a hell of a lot less.
“You could say that,” Powder mumbles.
“Why are you so red?” Vi questions and Powder turns even redder.
“Does this Ekko also go to school?” Counselor Kiramman inquires. Powder nods, “have you been dating long?”
Powder comes close to turning purple.
“What?!” Vi stares at her, “you two?!” She tries to wrap her head, “you’re kids!”
Ekko and her sister are eleven. They have scraped knees and gap teeth. His voice hasn’t even cracked yet and she doesn’t know what a period is. Suddenly Vi realizes the laces on her sister’s polished shoes are actually decorated with that hourglass symbol Ekko stamped on everything after Benzo gave him one for his birthday so he could track how long he worked for. Each turn meant a few coins and Ekko kept the time religiously. Now it’s stamped onto her sister’s shoelaces like he’s branded her. She liked that kid. Hell maybe one day she would have been alright with him dating Powder. But not until Vi had put the fear of Janna into his brilliant heart. Not until he knew what would happen if he dared hurt Powder. Instead Powder is branded with his stupid hourglass. Suddenly the length of her skirt seems far too short. And Vi picks out the dark purple that lines her eyes, the sweep of shimmer on her cheekbones, the way her lips seem a bit too shiny for her face. She’s wearing a skirt, makeup and she’s got Ekko’s hourglass on her shoelaces.
“We’re eighteen,” Powder says like they aren’t eleven.
“Yeah, sure,” Vi says, “did he force you into this? Is he making you wear those?” She demands, pointing at her shoelaces.
“Violet!” Counselor Kiramman cuts her off, “Powder if you’re in any kind of trouble—“
“No!” Powder interrupts loudly. Horror twists her face and she tightens her fingers on the teacup, “please excuse my rudeness, Counselor Kiramman,” she says. Counselor Kiramman acknowledges the apology, “Ekko and I are both eighteen. We’ve known each other since we were much younger,” her throat works, “our families are aware we’re dating and are alright with it.”
The exclusion feels like a sucker punch. Cracking her face on the obstacle course would be easier to handle than hear Powder say her family was alright with it when Vi didn’t even know. Vi looks away before Powder can see her face. Which is of course when the other problem decides to walk in like she hasn’t just dipped from the most important moment in Vi’s life. Caitlyn is perfectly composed as she walks into the room and sits next to her father. She has a cup in her hand like there isn’t always an extra on the tray. Or like it takes the duration of Vi’s entire life falling apart to make it to the kitchen. Sure Caitlyn never sets foot in there unless Vi drags her, but Vi’s dragged her enough she should know. It stings worse because Caitlyn is the only one who knows about Powder’s existence. The only one who has a clue how much Vi has dreamed about this day. Now she just sits there wearing the same expression as her mom. Completely flat with that air of mild curiosity the Kiramman’s think is polite. It’s not, it’s a fuck you to everyone who comes into the door. And Vi will be damned if she lets Caitlyn show that to her sister.
“You get lost?” She asks.
“Something needed my attention,” she says, adding hot water to her tea, “please forgive my rudeness, I’m Caitlyn Kiramman.”
“Powder Vanderson,” Powder says setting down her cup and shaking her hand.
They don’t even have the same last name.
If the family thing was a sucker punch this is a fatal blow. Even though Vi knows, logically, they wouldn’t. Vi became property of House Kiramman way before she needed a last name for Piltie school paperwork. Everything went to Caitlyn or her mom. Any forms she wrote “Vi” in the first name box and “House Kiramman” in the last name one. That was all people needed for now. House Kiramman money might be putting the uniform on her sister’s back, Vi has no idea if she knows that. Even if she did, it’s not her Patronage. She would need a last name for school paperwork. If Mylo or Claggor went to school, they would too. She tries to think of herself as Vi Vanderson but it rolls awkwardly in her head. Violet Vanderson sounds even worse. Even Vander Vanderson flows better. Powder says the two names like she’s been saying them for years. Vi knows it’s because she has. She’s introduced herself to countless people as Powder Vanderson. All the while Vi has had no last name and no chance to get used to it.
“—I’ll give you a tour of the shooting range when we’re done,” Caitlyn’s voice comes and Powder sucks in an excited breath.
“If it wouldn’t be too much trouble,” she says.
“Of course not,” Caitlyn says. Counselor Kiramman also seems pleased at the overture.
How the hell is she the only one not enjoying herself anymore?
“Counselor Kiramman, do you mind if I take her upstairs to change this?” Vi asks, motioning to the state of her shirt.
“Of course,” Counselor Kiramman says, “we’ll have that one laundered before you return to the Academy.”
“Thanks,” Vi says, “come on Pow-Pow.”
Except Powder doesn’t move.
The spectacular blush and hopeful look are gone. Her grip on the teacup has turned white and the blood is draining from her face. She looks like she did before they broke into the lab except a million times worse. Like how Vi imagined she would look if she hadn’t caught her wrist. She’s tortured herself with it in a million different versions, but to actually see the expression on this older Powder’s face is infinitely worse. Powder suddenly looks at gutted as Vi feels and Vi has no idea what has just happened. Her own stomach drops at the look. It stretches just a moment too long and she jerks her head towards her room. Powder hesitates and her eyes dart towards the door. She looks like she wants to run away. Counselor Kiramman draws a breath and that seems to jerk her a little out of whatever is happening in her head. Vi swears to herself she will listen, she just needs to get Powder away from these people. She needs to get them alone. Powder gives the flattest smile Vi has ever seen on someone who isn’t a Kiramman and gets to her feet, setting down her cup and clasping Vi’s hand.
“Thank you Counselor Kiramman, Caitlyn,” she says and follows Vi up the stairs.
Her hand goes limp but Vi holds on as she pulls Powder into her room and kicks the doorstop out of the way. She tugs the door shut. After a moment’s consideration she pulls Powder into the bathroom and shuts that door too, spinning the small lock behind her and flicking on the lights. In the big mirror she can see both of them facing each other and it’s a nauseating sight. Where one is blue, the other is pink. One’s eyes are bright, the others are pale. Powder is clean, Vi is streaked in tea. Her tattoo peeks out from her collar and sleeves, Powder’s skin is covered but Vi has to imagine it’s bare. She looks anxious and Powder looks wounded. In the way that only Powder can manage. Vi rips her gaze from the mirror and focuses on her sister. She doesn’t give a shit about the distance, that distance is because of life. She can fix this, now that they’ve seen each other. This is just another obstacle course she needs to run so the world knows she’s not just a fuck up. She can do this.
“Pow-Pow, it’s me. What’s going on?”
“The Academy?” Powder whispers, “you’re a Blue Belly?”
“What? No,” Vi says, “yes—“ she stops herself at the confusion in Powder’s brilliant eyes, “I had to go to training,” she says, “it was the only way to keep you safe. Of course I’m not gonna be an Enforcer. This was just until I could get back to you.”
That seems to relax Powder a bit. Enough so she doesn’t flinch when Vi touches her shoulder. She only hesitates for one awful moment before she throws herself forward into Vi’s embrace. The wold shifts right at the tight hug and Vi clutches her back. She fists her hands in Powder’s vest and shirt, like she can pull her closer. So close they’ll never be apart again. Powder tucks her head under Vi’s chin, the blue puffs tickling Vi’s jawline. Between the hug and the deathgrip Vi has on her shirt, it rides down just enough for Vi to see a blue swirl. Still holding Powder close, she touches the collar gently. Powder throws herself back with a delighted gasp and shucks off her shirt and vest in one go. Everything in Vi wants to cry at the sight of the blue swirls that decorate her skin. The entire right side of her body is covered in them from her wist to her hip. Just barely concealed by the shirt.
“Pow-Pow they’re—“
“Flare smoke, so you could find me,” Powder says breathlessly, “it was the only way I’d go to school without the flare,” something young and nervous sparks in her eyes, “do you like them?”
Vi has never taken her shirt off faster. Powder gasps at the sight of the ink that stretches across her back. It looks mechanical and abstract. Only Caitlyn has a vague idea of what it means and only she knows about the flare. But the rest of it Vi has kept to herself. But Powder gets it instantly. Her fingers dip along the lines that tell the story of how to defuse her bombs before climbing to Vi’s neck and skittering along the route that leads to the two places they’ve called home. She touches the last drop first on Vi’s bicep and follows the black lines. Vi twists her arms back and connects them as Powder traces her way among the pipes and rocks back to where they grew up. Where their names still nestle on a crumbling pillar. The only evidence that there was once a family in that deep dark place.
“You remembered,” Powder chokes tearfully.
Vi pulls her tightly against her chest. The warmth of the hug cripples her in a way she hasn’t felt in a lifetime. Their bodies have changed, everything has changed, but their hearts still beat in tandem as they wrap each other in an embrace. When they look in the mirror, Power’s puffs are almost a continuation of the swirls on Vi’s biceps. They’ve each put their own interpretation on the promise, but the fundamental message remains the same. Light the flare and wherever you are, I’ll come find you. Except Vi never got the chance to find her because Powder has grown up. It’s Powder who saw the flare, Powder who came and found the smoke Vi didn’t even know she was waving. It fills Vi’s chest with a warm, fuzzy feeling that makes her have to sniffle away the tears that threaten her.
“I’m so proud of you, Pow-Pow,” she says and Powder squirms closer.
“I knew you never forgot me,” Powder says.
“What?” Vi looks down at her away from the mirror, “who said I forgot you?”
“No-one,” Powder says quickly, too quickly, “but you never wrote—“ Powder looks down and her arms loosen, “so I thought maybe you had.”
“No,” Vi says emphatically, “never,” she keeps one arm holding Powder tight and tips her chin with the other, “I was being watched. I couldn’t risk them finding you—any of you. If there was any way I could have gotten word to you I would have.”
Powder buries her face against Vi’s chest.
“I know Vi,” she says. Vi feels something wet against her skin and tightens her arms around Powder, “Vander said we couldn’t write to you for the same reason,” she says against Vi’s skin, “every birthday I begged him but he never let me,” she sniffles, “I have so much to tell you!”
She erupts into sobs and Vi clutches her tighter. She gets them to the ground and pulls Powder’s body fully into her lap. Powder goes as easily as she did when they were kids. When Vi told her she would keep her safe from the monsters and Powder believed her. Vi knows she’s failed at that game. She was too busy thinking of shit like slug monsters and crab monsters. She didn’t think to warn Powder about monsters like consequences or stupid decisions or time or failure. Vi knows in her marrow she’s the reason her sister is crying. When Powder came into the world she was blue. It was Vi who breathed life back into her. Vi who her mom named her protector. Protect Powder. Vi had one job and she managed to fuck it up. All she can do is rock Powder back and forth and hum to her like she should have been doing for years. She thought she was but Vi can see how wrong she’s been.
She’s been wrong about everything.
So was Vander.
Vi knew she didn’t belong up here. It was Vander’s instructions that kept her here. She thought she was being a leader protecting the family. But all she’s done is hurt them. Powder’s got the same longing imprinted on her skin because Vi wasn’t there. She didn’t protect her, she just ran away. The fact that Powder wants anything to do with her is a miracle. It makes the notes of their mom’s song catch around her own tears, but Vi forces the tune to be steady. She’s been so weak but for Powder, she can be strong. She will be strong. She will figure out a way to make this right and they will never be apart again. The Kiramman’s downstairs can choke on their cold tea for all Vi cares. Without them she could have just done a little time in jail and gone back home. Instead she’s been in this half cage that’s hurt the only person Vi ever wanted to protect. The Kiramman’s don’t get to see Powder’s tears. Or hers. Vi sit and hums and thinks of how she is going to get them out of here until Powder quiets. She looks up at her with her own bright blue eyes and offers a wet smile before snuggling back closer to Vi.
“Vander’s gonna be so happy when you come home,” Powder says and then perks up, “oh, I told Caitlyn Kiramman that he was in trouble.”
“Is he?”
“No,” Powder says with a giggle, “he’s fine. I just came up with that so you could come with me.”
“You’re so smart, Pow-Pow,” she says, tucking Powder back in her arms so she won’t see the smile slip, “did you say anything else?” Power shakes her head, “Vander’s fine right?”
“Uh huh,” she says, “he misses you though,” she touches VI’s cheek, “you match, except his is on his hand.”
Vi’s heart races at the prospect of seeing Vander again. Seeing her family again. She’s not due back at the Academy for two weeks, she doesn’t even have to really decide anything permanent. All she has to do is go along with Powder’s plan and she can see everyone again. She can make sure she’s still part of her family. Make sure they know why she left and that her heart’s always been with them. That’s why it’s ached for all of these years. That’s why it aches now. She’s homesick and she doesn’t have to be anymore. All she has to do is tell the Kiramman’s her uncle is in trouble. If they let her go she can consider what to do, if they don’t she’ll know there’s nothing for her up here. She’s an adult now, she knows how to fight and it’s been so long since the explosion. Surely she’s served enough time here that this won’t matter anymore. Maybe they’ll let her just pay back whatever they’ve spent on her and she can go on her way. If Caitlyn is able to lie to her face, Vi can return the favor.
“We’re gonna need to be more specific,” she says to Powder, fixing them so they are sitting cross legged in the doorway arch, knees wedged together. It’s a bigger doorway but it still feels like it did when they were kids, “so what’s that brilliant mind of yours got?”
Powder considers for a moment and then lights up.
“Let’s say he was kidnapped.”
Notes:
I wasn't necessarily planning on a Vi POV but now i'm into it. I'm not sure how the Vi vs. Caitlyn chapters will shake out but I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think!
Chapter Text
“So, you see, I just need to borrow Vi for a few days. I never would have come otherwise.”
Caitlyn grips the cup of tea and tries to keep her face impassive. Her mother looks cooly detached, not suspicious like Caitlyn wants. Her eyes flick to Caitlyn’s tight grip and there’s an arch of her perfect brow. Caitlyn forces her fingers to relax. Vi glances at her, but immediately moves her gaze back to Powder. Caitlyn looks over at her father who has a face full of sympathy and feels the familiar annoyance in her veins. Just because her father enjoyed having a brother does not mean he should be this blind about it. Her mother nods again and then sets down her cup.
“You’ll need to contact us in a few days,” she says to Vi, “but of course you must tend to your biological family.”
Outrage steals Caitlyn’s voice as Vi nods. Murmurs a thank you and gets up to go get her things with Powder in tow. Caitlyn listens to them go and whirls on her mother.
“Mother—“ she starts.
“Now now,” her mother sets down her tea, “there’s no need for jealousy Caitlyn.”
“I’m not—“ Caitlyn begins.
“Did you hear something that would make you suspicious?” She asks, “when you went to check on Violet? I though it was simply tears in the bathroom.”
Caitlyn grinds her teeth together and then forces her jaw to relax. She looks up the stairs. If she tells her mother, then Vi is immediately a traitor. If she says nothing, then she’s a fool. One of those things has actual, irrevocable consequences. The other might be unavoidable. She should say it. She should tell her what she heard. How they have wasted all the money and time on someone who was never going to be an Enforcer, apparently. Who was just waiting for a chance to leave. But if she says that, then she’s still a fool who was played by Vi. She’s a fool and Vi might be court marshaled or worse. Admitting what she heard will seal both of their fates. There is one chance at preventing her looking like a fool and luckily for Vi, one of them is clear headed enough to see it.
“Yes,” she says tightly. It feels like twisting a knife to continue, “it’s just difficult to see her with another sister.”
Her mother rolls her eyes as her father voices an emphatic agreement. Thankfully at that moment, Vi comes down the stairs. She’s traded her usual attire for clothes Caitlyn has never seen. Striped pants and a white top with a blue hood. There’s a red jacket to go with it. The patchwork looks so much more like the fourteen year old who was dragged here by Sheriff Grayson. And yet she can’t remember the last time she saw Vi look so comfortable. There’s a bag over her shoulder and Caitlyn wonders what’s in there. But if she asks she’s going to open a door that will make them both have headaches. Instead she focuses on the fact that Vi’s earrings are in. Vi might be blind and stupid and possibly planning to sell them, but Caitlyn has to believe she has enough in her head to remember their promise. She’s always remembered it. Her mother gives her a chaste embrace and her father does the same, palming her some extra notes. Then Vi is standing in front of her.
“See you in a few days,” she says carefully.
“See you,” Caitlyn echoes.
Vi’s eyes scan her face. She almost hesitates, almost moves forward. But it’s been years since Vi initiated a hug. Caitlyn isn’t going to let her start now. Instead she sticks out her hand. Vi’s eyebrows shoot up but she reaches out and takes it. Caitlyn tries not to focus on the feel of Vi’s callouses against her skin. Tries not to think of how this might be the last time they touch. How they already might have had their last hug. She always thought that might happen, she had been trying to plan for it. But she thought she had a few years. She was supposed to have a few years. Vi’s fingers tighten on hers but then Powder springs forward and grabs her arm, hauling her back.
“Thanks so much!’ She sing-songs and pulls Vi out.
The door slams behind them.
“There’s something off about that girl,” her mother says.
“Then why did you let Vi go with her?” Caitlyn questions.
Her mother offers only an enigmatic shrug that grates across Caitlyn’s last nerve. She forgets to ask to be excused as she hurries up the stairs back to her room. Whatever her mother is trying to see, Caitlyn has no interest in participating. This feels like a test for both of them. Caitlyn is sick of the endless hidden tests. She’s an adult, she’s proven herself ten times over by now. And yet sometimes her mother acts like she’s still fourteen. Caitlyn walks over to her window and peers outside. Just in time to see Powder and Vi slip through the gates. Just in time to see Powder turn around and flash both of her middle fingers at the Enforcers when their backs are turned. Then she lifts them higher towards the house. Then Vi laughs and lazily flips one towards the gardens. Her gardens.
Something in Caitlyn snaps.
All the training vanishes as Caitlyn makes a wordless, furious sound. Her anger is blinding as she storms into her closet and finds the folded coveralls on her top shelf. She throws her own clothes aside and grabs appropriate underthings before yanking on the sturdy navy canvas. Her leather boots are next. She scrapes her hair into a high ponytail and pulls down her foldable rifle case. She adds extra ammunition to the already prepared holster pack and shoves whatever cash she can find into her pocket. Vi is always jumping in without looking and Caitlyn is always left with the mess. Not this time. If Vi wants to end this relationship she is going to do it properly, not slink off in the middle of the day and humiliate Caitlyn within an inch of her life. Caitlyn grabs a piece of paper and writes a note to her parents. If Vi wants to lie, she can join her in the sin.
Mr. Bunny regards her calmly from his perch.
Caitlyn grabs the toy and glares at him. She should bring him with her. She should throw him in Vi’s face and choke her on his fluff. She wants to. Gods, she wants to. But if there is any chance her mother remembers it, she has to leave it here. Everything has to appear normal. Then she can shove him in Vi’s face and tell her to choke. Leaving the note where it is sure to be seen, Caitlyn pushes open the window. It’s a wonder she ever marveled at the climb down. How was she ever impressed by someone who could slink off with a lie after knowing her for almost a decade? Caitlyn lands on the ground and storms down the path to the gates.
“Where are you going?” The Enforcer asks, “Can we be of assistance—".
“No and hunting!” Caitlyn snaps and storms through the gates.
They’re laughing up ahead, arms slung over each other’s shoulders. Caitlyn is so furious she doesn’t think about whether it is more efficient to follow from a distance. To see where they are going. Not when Vi is so lost in the pure, unadulterated joy that she doesn’t even hear her coming. It’s Powder who catches a glimpse of her over Vi’s shoulder. Whose innocent, tearful blue eyes suddenly widen in actual fear. Vi’s blue grey ones flare in a moment of concern before she whips around as Caitlyn closes the distance. She doesn’t care that Vi puts Powder behind her like Caitlyn is a threat. Actually she’s glad of it. Vi should know she’s a threat. Maybe she can drag her back now before she does something stupid like get herself killed and make them all look bad. All that stupid tuition and Vi can’t even come up with a better plan than poorly lying, missing someone walking up behind her and using herself as a human shield.
“Cait—“
“Shut up!” Caitlyn snaps, “you are not disappearing after all the work we’ve put into this. Do you have any idea how bad this will look if you vanish?”
“I’m just going for a few days,” Vi says. Finally the wide eyed look snaps to something frustrated, “shit.”
“Yeah, ‘shit’,” Caitlyn says, jamming her fingers into Vi’s chest, “this is not how your patronage is ending.”
“I didn’t—“ Vi huffs. Glances back, “she heard through the door,” she says to Powder. Powder’s eyes widen, “sorry, Pow-Pow, it would have been suspicious if I closed the door.“
“You weren’t allowed to close your bedroom door?” Powder says.
Vi shrugs and Caitlyn’s head feels like it’s going to explode.
“Neither of us was because your sister tried to seduce me to get me to be her Patron,” Caitlyn snaps. Vi’s cheeks go red, “I was simply coming up to see if you were alright. I wasn’t expecting to hear you vowing never to become an Enforcer—“
“Vi would never!” Powder is suddenly in front of her. Like Caitlyn is the one who concocted this betrayal. Even though they were fine until Powder showed up, “did she tell you what happened to our parents?”
“Pow!” Vi pushes her aside, or tries to. But Powder’s eyes narrow. Vi shakes her head.
“What?”
“Pow—“
“Enforcers killed them,” Powder says, “we saw them. They almost killed us!”
Three sentences.
That’s all it takes for Caitlyn’s entire world to shift. Vi’s face falls and something acidic crawls up the back of Caitlyn’s throat. Suddenly the blue uniform she was wearing take on a horrible new meaning. She doesn’t bother to ask if it’s true. Vi has suddenly become very interested in the stones they’ve walked by a thousand times before. Stones she knows by heart. She looks steadily anywhere but Caitlyn’s eyes. Desperately Caitlyn flips through the conversations, the letters, any indication of Vi protesting the Academy. She ran the obstacle course. She agreed. She wasn’t happy about it but there were never any explanations past wanting to go home. The familiar guilt churns at her when she thinks of those moments, but she pushes it aside. Now is not the time to unpack what she thought was a great sin. Not when it seems like there was an even greater one she had no idea about. Did she really send Vi to become the thing that killed her parents? Did Vi really not just her enough to say anything? She shoves the thoughts back. What’s done is done.
“If you want to be released from your patronage you need to say so,” she says to Vi. Powder’s head bobs frantically, “Violet—“
“I don’t know!” Vi cuts her off at the formality. Finally her blue grey eyes lift up, “what’s it going to take for you to give me a few days?”
“Me,” Caitlyn says, “coming with you.”
Powder’s head shakes. But Vi is quiet. When there’s a tug at her sleeve she shakes her arm free. Caitlyn realizes she’s thinking about it. Which is rich, given her actions. Caitlyn could just shout for one of the guards and have them all dragged back. But she doesn’t. She lets Vi consider what she’s saying. Somehow it feels like their first honest conversation in a long time. Maybe ever, if Vi has been carrying around this secret for all these years. Her eyes move down Caitlyn’s coveralls and boots and to the straps around her shoulders. She knows she has a weapon. But Caitlyn isn’t going to the Undercity unarmed. Vi leans forward and she takes a half step back. Some emotion twists Vi’s features before they smooth out into what might look relaxed on anyone else but look like bullshit to Caitlyn.
“Loose the earrings,” she says.
“What? Vi! Vi, no—“ Powder starts urgently.
“Listen she knows where Vander is,” Vi says, “it’s better if we take her,” her eyes dart between Caitlyn and then back to Powder, “so we can figure out a way to make this work for everyone.”
Right.
The money.
Caitlyn bites back the urge to say she’ll just keep sending it. She’s not nearly as much of a monster as they think she is. But if implying she is will get her a ticket down to make sure Vi properly leaves their relationship, she’s fine with that. She takes the sapphires out of her ears and slips them into the breast pocket of her coveralls. The two whisper to each other and Powder tugs her ear and points to Vi’s. Ice floods Caitlyn’s veins as she realizes the instruction. Vi’s eyes dart from Powder to her. The calm look in her face turns into something almost forlorn. Powder reaches towards Vi’s ear. Caitlyn knows she should take them off too. Properly do this. But before she can stop herself she shakes her head. Not enough to make her ponytail swoosh, but just enough. Vi could ignore it if she wants. But something hardens in her gaze and she bats Powder’s hand away.
“I’ve worn these for a decade, they’re fine,” she says.
“But—“
“It’s fine,” Vi says firmly, “anyone gets this close to my ear and we got bigger problems. Let’s go.”
Powder looks down and the annoyed, worried look makes something blare alarms in the back of her head. Vi might think this is a jaunt to see her family. But there is something else going on. When Powder looks up, her expression is so flat it almost makes Caitlyn reach for her weapon. It’s a predator’s look. The look of one who already has their prey in their web. Caitlyn isn’t sure if she or Vi are the prey. But either way, she’s not leaving her to face this alone. Vi has the earrings. Vi is still hers. If Powder has a plan that involves Vi, she’s damn well going to have to fight Caitlyn for her. Powder tucks herself back against Vi’s side and forces Caitlyn two steps behind them as they get down to the proper city and keep going. Until they are on the edge of the proper city and it’s just a straight drop down. A straight drop and somewhere far below is Zaun. Caitlyn isn’t sure if it’s the height or the day’s events, but for the first time she feels a bit dizzy looking down.
“Shall I get us tickets?” She tries.
Both of them laugh as Powder slings her legs over and Vi puts her toes on the edge. Something in Caitlyn plummets as she realizes they aren’t taking anything that requires tickets or an operating license or inspection down. Powder chuckles and swings her weight out. Vi immediately catches her arm and they stand there, one suspended above an impossible distance but having complete faith in the other who holds her aloft.
“Last one gets the drinks,” Powder sing-songs and opens her hand.
Caitlyn watches as she falls through the air and slides seamlessly onto a metal pipe. Vi smiles affectionately down at her.
“You can’t be serious,” Caitlyn says.
“You said you wanted to come,” Vi tells her. Powder stands on a tiny platform and looks up at them, “she thinks you can’t do it.”
“Excuse me?” Caitlyn sputters. Sure she can’t, but she’s given Powder no reason to think that, “how—“
“I think you can,” Vi says with a shrug, “but it’ll be easier if you stay close.”
“Stay close? Are you mad?”
“Probably,” Vi says turning so she’s facing her. Her heels hanging over the edge, “what’ll it be?”
Caitlyn rolls her eyes but pushes herself up. Vi’s smile widens as Caitlyn swallows at the dizzying height. There is just no way this is the best way down. This feels like some kind of cruel test. Like it’s her own obstacle course she’s being made to run. Except instead of mats and supervision, there’s just metal, concrete and dizzying heights. The denial of what they are asking is on her lips. But then Vi winks and steps backwards and falls down the dizzying height. Caitlyn gasps and tries to grab her, but it only succeeds in bringing her off the ledge as well. Somehow Vi is somehow much further down than she thought, already angling herself to hit the pipes and slide down them. Caitlyn barely has time to try and get her feet in order as the pipes rush towards her. She is going to die, that’s for sure. But she’s going to die dragging Vi back, so she can live with that. No, she cannot die. Powder is up to something and Vi is blind. So she gets her legs in some kind of order and takes the impact when they hit the pipes and send her sliding even faster.
She just manages to catch herself on the edge and land on the same small square of metal.
The pipes laid out below are impossible to navigate. She can see Powder and Vi far below, but she has no idea how they got there. Her stomach twists as she looks around for some kind of clue. Going back up is impossible, but she has no idea what to do. She is not, however, staying on the ledge. Her eyes move across the pipes. There’s something familiar about one. A bend she swears she’s seen before. It hits her like a thunderclap that she’s seen that bend on Vi’s neck. It’s the only pipe bent like that. Taking a deep breath, Caitlyn pushes herself back as far as she dares and shoves herself forward. She sails across the air and grabs the only familiar pipe. It sends her sliding down further, around some unseen turn and pitches her onto a metal roof. She lands and looks around.
They are both down below her.
Powder is looking ahead.
But Vi is looking at her.
Caitlyn can’t see her expression with the hood. She’s not sure she could stomach it anyway. Vi’s head turns and she jumps across some impossible chasm to grab a pipe. It clangs near Caitlyn’s ear and then she swings back to her other platform. The hood turns and Caitlyn nods. Vi is sending her a message. She pushes onto the pipe and makes her way down. By the time she gets to the platorm the pair of them are long gone. But there’s a pair X’s scraped into the dust that tell her her next move.
So Caitlyn lines up, bends her knees and jumps.
Chapter Text
The Last Drop sits bright beneath her feet.
Vi stares at it as she forces herself to take deep, even breaths. The run leaves her feeling exhilarated. She hasn’t done it in a decade but her muscles remember. Her body remembers. Her body has always been Zaun. She is too rough and big for the sensible, slender world up there. She belongs here among the clanging pipes and warm underbelly of the city. The Last Drop sits below her feet. She catches Powder’s gaze a few yards down. She looks so happy and at ease. Something burns in Vi’s chest at the sight. Every time they went for a run Vi would long for the day when Powder would beat her. That was the day when Vi knew she wouldn’t have to worry as much. She wouldn’t have to look behind her because Powder would be blazing gloriously ahead. All feels right with the world for a glorious, perfect few breaths.
Until she hears the mumbled swear high above her.
Powder’s eyes flick up but Vi shakes her head and jerks it towards the Last Drop. Powder hesitates for a moment and then shifts her feet. She begins to slide before she even looks and the pride makes Vi giddy. Powder catches herself on one of the rungs and swings down through an opening Vi doesn’t remember. She looses her for a moment in the pipes, but Powder sends a message with a firm bang. Then she appears below. She twists around and flashes their mom’s signal against her forehead. Vi watches her run off towards the Last Drop before she forces herself to turn around.
Caitlyn has worked her way down to the ledge above her. Even though Vi would cut off her arm to have her leave, she can’t stomach the idea of Caitlyn breaking her neck. Caitlyn, though, looks like the idea of Vi breaking hers would be just dandy. It’s rich considering Caitlyn is the one who threw herself into this situation. Vi approaches and Caitlyn swings her legs over the edge, looking for the best angle forward.
“Need some help?’
“I’m fine!” Caitlyn says and peers down.
Her eyes widen and her fingers tighten on the ledge. Vi thinks she could probably leave her here without much trouble. It’s more tempting than she wishes it was. Powder would be thrilled. Vi could keep the wall up between everyone. If it was anyone else, it would be so easy to just leave them there. But then again, if it was anyone else she would have left them way higher up. Instead she’s brought Caitlyn here. She’s laid out the route with every hesitation and scape of her toes. And Caitlyn has followed. That’s the real shocking thing in all of this. Caitlyn has scrambled and leapt and clawed her way to this point. Vi can’t help but be impressed. Even among the storm of other shit she feels, she can’t help but nudge that to the side and approach the air between them.
“Come on,” she says and holds out a hand. Caitlyn glares, “I’ll pull you across.”
“I said I’m fine!” Caitlyn snaps and her fingers tighten on the ledge.
She heaves herself forward unexpectedly and lands on the pipe. But the round edge throws her off, like it throws off everyone their first time. It’s a final test to see if you deserve the ground again. When Vi did it she had wound up swinging completely around the pipe and burst into tears. So shocked she was alive. When it had been Powder’s turn she had grabbed her arm and made sure it was better. But she’s not prepared for how quickly Caitlyn leaps and loses her balance. Her arms windmill and Vi just manages to grab her wrist and pull her close before she tips off the edge. The force brings Caitlyn’s arm around her shoulder and Vi grabs the dip of her waist to keep her upright. Fear erases the anger from her face. Vi inspects her paler skin and Caitlyn’s throat bobs as she stares at her. The moment seems to drag between them before Caitlyn’s eyes dart to the Lanes laid out below. Her arms drop away as she looks down.
“Is that it?” She says but there’s no cruelty to her voice, just a quiet wonder.
“Yeah,” Vi says. She’s surprised at how much bigger it seems. Surprised and not, “your allowance hard at work,” she jokes to Caitlyn.
Caitlyn stiffens and steps back, her arms dragging until they’re settled on Vi’s forearms while she gets the last of her balance. The miscommunication frustrates her as Caitlyn’s face falls to something sad. The look Vi hasn’t been able to bear a second of the time they’ve know each other. Her own fingers tighten in the thick fabric of Caitlyn’s coveralls as she tries to catch her gaze. But Caitlyn seems determined to look anywhere else before her eyes settle resolutely on the pipe. Unfortunately she’s walked up high enough that she’s even taller and it’s an easy weight shift for Vi to duck down and peer up at her. Annoyance crosses her face at Vi’s inquisitive look, but the sadness is still there. Way too much for Vi’s liking.
“Why didn’t you say anything about your parents?” She asks.
Shit.
Vi has done this too many times to fall even if it’s been years. But she comes way closer to stumbling than she wants to admit. It’s not just sadness in Caitlyn’s eyes it’s worse. It’s that look of betrayal. The one she flashes when Vi has done something truly egregious like slip away without saying goodbye or getting her precious internship taken away. The thing she was so excited to do she talked about all summer. Vi has to counter the thought with the truth. There’s what Caitlyn wants and there’s how the world actually works and those two things never quite agree. Counselor Kiramman gets it. Vi gets it. But Caitlyn, Caitlyn doesn’t. She can’t. Caitlyn can barely sneeze without her mother calling a doctor, how is she supposed to understand there are things that aren’t meant to be? Sometimes it makes Vi so jealous and angry she needs to go punch the bag for an hour before she opens her mouth. There’s no bag here though, just them and this incredibly messed up metaphor for a choice that suddenly looms impossibly close.
“Their safety was my responsibility,” she says, “it was hard enough without you looking at me like that.”
Caitlyn yanks her hands away but Vi already knows what’s about to happen and claps her hand around her elbow. Caitlyn loses her balance and both of her hands lock around Vi’s arm. Caitlyn is a pacer when she’s truly upset. This is possibly the worst place for her to be. Everything in her yells to get them down, but her feet dig in. The idea of going down with Caitlyn looking at her like she’s betrayed her isn’t one Vi can stomach. Not when she’s this close to the only dream that’s ever seemed real.
The Last Drop.
Her family.
Caitlyn.
“I just didn’t want to think about it, okay?” She says, “and I knew you’d try to come up with something else if I told you—“ Caitlyn opens her mouth, “it was easier this way.”
“Easier for who?” Caitlyn questions.
“Everyone,” Vi says.
Caitlyn opens her mouth and then closes it, looking almost disappointed. Vi can work with that better than the look of betrayal. She slides her hand down so their palms are flat together. She gives the slightest pressure to get Caitlyn to walk but she is still looking down. Vi opens her mouth when her head snaps up and their eyes lock.
“It wasn’t easier for you,” she says.
She says it simply like it’s not something earth shattering. Like it doesn’t make Vi’s eyes widen and her fingers tighten. Like it doesn’t come close to tipping her off the pipe. Caitlyn stares at her with her impossibly teal eyes and Vi can feel time slipping in that strange way she’s tried desperately to stop. Caitlyn never breaks eye contact as she shifts her weight back, mistaking the pull on her wrist as a request for help. It’s not. Vi didn’t almost fall and she didn’t ask for help. Not then, not now. That fourteen year old kid did what she had to. That’s all that matters. Powder is a blue drop at the door and Vi can see everyone spilling out. Mylo, Claggor, Ekko. Benzo and Silco and then Vander lurches out. The rest are looking but he stares right at her. He pushes the others aside and Vi feels her eyes flood at the realization.
He’s coming for her.
“Cait I can’t do this right now,” she blurts out, turning towards her, “please, I’m begging you—“
“Okay,” Caitlyn cuts in gently, “go.”
“No, come on,” Vi says, pulling her arm forward.
Caitlyn nods and slips closer as Vi pulls them the rest of the way. She doesn’t bother with a route because Caitlyn is practically on top of her as they make their way to the hidden pipes. Without thinking Vi pulls her close and Caitlyn wraps an arm around her neck as Vi swings them below the deceptive darkness. But her hand finds the pipe and she slides them down it quickly. Caitlyn makes a half muffled noise of surprise and tightens her grip on her, but she doesn’t try to stop them as gravity wings them around the bend and spills them onto the ground. Right as the doors slam open and the anxious face Vi has dreamed about every night for seven years stares down at her.
“Vi,” he breathes.
Vi doesn’t think as she throws herself into his embrace. Vander lifts her off he feet like she’s a kid as he crushes her in a bruising hug. A real one. One that loosens a knot she’s been tied in for so long. Vi doesn’t remember if people’s smells change but his hans’t. He still smells like home. She can feel him shaking as she cries into the safety of his embrace. One of his hands flattens against her skull and just holds her closer as he makes all the problems of the last years seem like a bad dream. Vander has always been safety. Even when her parents were alive, he was the one she would wail for. Vander made everything better. It’s another thing that hasn’t changed as he keeps them in the dark while she cries so no-one else thinks she’s upset. Vander doesn’t care though. Vander is just as tearful as he mutters and soothes her back into calm.
“You good?” He asks.
“Yeah, Dad,” she says, burying her face in his chest like she did as a kid before grinning up at him, “I’m good.”
“And you Miss Kiramman?” He asks into the darkness, “alright let’s go,” he says and half blinds Vi with the light before she can look back to Caitlyn, “guess whose home?!”
A loud cheer goes up and then everyone is there. Vi is thumped on the back and crushed in tight hugs. There’s a half remembered handshake and a broad shouldered Ekko still hugs like the kid Vi remembers. They’re all here and safe. It’s like being caught up in a wave that pulls her back where she belongs. Her feet are barely allowed to touch the ground as the chaos sweeps her up until Powder appears like a buoy. She bobs up under Vi’s shoulder and gives her something to hold onto in this sea of impossible joy. Everyone’s face is a wet as hers, but no-one looks as happy as Powder. Powder tugs her to her feet and pulls her forward towards the door before Vi can check where Caitlyn is. There’s a flash of dark blue out of the corner of her eye, but just as quickly it’s gone as they spill into the bar. As more cheers go up among half remembered faces. Even the ones Vi thought would be enemies smile as friends. Because Vander—Dad—fixed it. Like Vi knew he would. Powder bobs away and appears on the other side of the bar, reaching out a hand.
“Come on!” She laughs and even though she’s big now, Vi kicks over the wood and lands next to her, “oh come on, special occasion!” Powder cries to Vander’s half disapproving look, “Dad!”
The one face that’s hardest to smile back at is Silco.
Vi doesn’t know why, he and Vander have clapped each other on the shoulders several times. No-one else seems even slightly alarmed at his presence. But amidst the wave of happiness, something prickles at the back of Vi’s neck when she sees him. Something too persistent to just ignore. In this sea of happiness, Silco moves like a shark. Something you shouldn’t take your eyes off. Even as she loses herself in each hand that comes over the bar to shake hers or pull her into a half embrace, her eyes dart to place him in the room. She doesn’t want to be an officer candidate here, she wants to leave all of that up there. But her eyes keep marking his location relative to exits and entrances. Relative to people who are visibly armed. He moves and chats in a way that would appear loose but Vi knows it’s not. She’s seen enough people in Piltover who pretend to be casual to tell when it’s false. Smiling back when their eyes occasionally meet feels like swallowing glass.
“You get used to it,” Vander says, pulling her out of her thoughts as Powder knocks back a shot glass with Ekko, “took me weeks even though I knew we were good.”
“Should they be drinking?” Vi blurts out staring at the pair of them, “dating?”
“Oh Vi,” Vander drags her back into his embrace and keeps his am around her shoulder, “you’ll adjust. I swear.”
Vi sighs and leans against him as he nods away a few more people, sensing she’s not up for it. Being seen like this settles across her skin like being wrapped in a fluffy blanket. She doesn’t have to do anything but lean into him as he pours things one handed and wipes the bar with a rag. She can just stand and look out at the sea of happy faces. She tries to listen to him and not stare at Silco like she wants to. Bitterly she knows he’s been there for her family in a way she hasn’t. She tries to keep her gaze moving along the sea of people in The Last Drop. Not categorize them like her training always tells her to do with crowds. They are people. They can just be people and she can just be Vi. Tucked into her Dad’s side with Powder’s laughter ringing in her ears and the run still humming in her muscles. She can just be home.
It’s a surprise when her eyes find Caitlyn.
Vi is usually hyper aware of her. But she hasn’t been. It’s kind of incredible how easily Caitlyn blends in with the throng of bodies. The run down has covered the blue of her coveralls in a layer of dust and grime, so she fits in with the other people wearing similar clothing. Her hunting boots are not polished like the rest of her shoes and Caitlyn has had them resoled several times because of their comfort. It’s easy to dismiss them as second hand even if they look well made. Without her jewelry and with the smudges of dust and grime on her face, she looks incredibly normal. She’s managed to find several people to talk to, one of whom is a similar height so she doesn’t even stick out that way. She leans against the small table and smiles at the woman she’s talking to, whispering something that makes her new companion throw her head back in laughter and bat her eyelashes at Caitlyn.
“Wasn’t expecting you to bring her,” Vander says carefully. Vi looks up at him and his brow draws together, “wasn’t expecting you at all—“ he frowns and his arm tightens around her, “watch the bar,” he says to Silco and Vi finds herself being marched down the stairs.
The old place has been turned into some kind of storage area full of crates. From the top, it seemed like the place was taller. Everyone seems to have moved upstairs. It makes Vi squirm to see there’s nothing down here but crates when it used to be their home. Even though she knows this is good. It’s good they have space upstairs. Maybe everyone even gets their own room. Everyone’s learned how to sleep alone. Vander steers her past several crates and then flicks a switch. Small lights are strung about this corner of the room. Everyone has a room, but tucked into the corner is a bed and a desk. The bed is made with sheets as pink as her own hair. The desk is empty but it’s clean. Without even touching the sheets, Vi knows they’re clean too. A pair of patchwork bunnies sit against the wall. Above both pieces of furniture, balanced on a ledge, is a vase filled with flowers made from wire. Pink and blue. Vi and Powder. Everyone has a room.
Including her.
“There’s one upstairs for you, but we thought you’d probably be more comfortable down here to start,” Vander says gently. Vi swallows against the lump in her throat and jumps when his voice hardens, “but we didn’t know you were coming today,” he says, his hands framing her shoulders, “Vi what are you doing here?”
“Powder came to get me,” Vi says.
Frustration crosses his face.
“She had one of the envelopes,” Vi continues, “that’s how she found the address—“ she says, “she said you were in trouble so the Kirammans would let me come home.”
Vander’s eyes widen.
“You told her I was in trouble?” Vander demands, “the Caitlyn Kiramman whose up there?” Horror floods through Vi’s veins. She didn’t even think about that, “Vi.”
“It’s fine!” Vi is shocked at how high her voice is, “I’ll talk to Caitlyn. She’ll understand—“
“You’re going to ask her to lie to her parents for you?” Vander asks, cutting through all of her half baked plans. Disappointment colors his face, “Violet.”
Vi blinks against the stinging in her eyes at the look on his face. She’s fucked it all up somehow. She sits down hard on the nice bed. It squishes like a good bed should. How has she messed this all up? Vander makes a sound and the chair is dragged around as he sits in it. Their knees bump and it’s crazy how small her legs seem compared to his. Crazy and accurate since she seems to have once again turned into a kid. Vander reaches out and covers her hands with his own. He clasps her shoulder and slides his hand up her neck until their foreheads are pressed together. Like they did when she was a kid. Like they did right before she solved everything.
“I’m going to get Caitlyn,” he says, “and the three of us, we’ll figure this out.”
Vi nods.
“I’m sorry,” she says.
“No,” Vander shakes his head, pulling back and squeezing her hands, “I’m sorry. For all of it,” his face softens even as his eyes shine, “let me go get her so we can go back to enjoying your first night home without worrying, okay? We’ve waited a long time for this.”
Vi looks up at him. The way he says ‘we’ settles over her like his hugs. Her fingers tighten on his as she tries to judge if she should let him go. It feels like she’s dragged them right back to this place with her own stupidity. Again. Vander softens at the look in her face and tightens his fingers against hers. It’s like he understands where her mind is without her even having to say it. Of course he does. He’s her Dad. He always has been. He gives her hands an almost painful squeeze that Vi relishes with every fibre of her being. Painful is real. She’ll take it any day of the week.
“Count to thirty and if I’m not back, come get me,” he says, “I just don’t want you swarmed before we figure this out.”
“Okay,” Vi says, “Dad.”
It makes Vander smile every time the word leaves her mouth. She never worked up the courage to say it before they parted ways. Now she doesn’t want to call him anything else. He ruffles her hair and departs, leaving her sitting on the bed that’s been waiting for her. Alone, Vi pushes herself up and glances around the small corner of the world that’s hers. They were right, she doesn’t know if she could have bared to start out upstairs after how she left this room. She runs her fingers along the desk. It’s clean, but she can feel the odd mark on it. Like someone has tug a pencil hard through paper. She runs her thumb alone one of the marks and tries not to think about how it got there. She wants to live in this happy bubble, just for a night. The door opens before she even thinks to count and she recognizes both pairs of feet as they come down the stairs. Vander smiles as he motions Caitlyn in. Vi frowns at the look on her face and jumps when she hears Vander slide the latch though the door. It grates loudly, like no-one has locked it in a long time. When Vander comes back, both of their faces wear twin expressions of worry.
“What?” Vi asks. Caitlyn fiddles with the straps of her pack and Vander runs a hand down his face, “Cait?” She asks, locking her gaze with the teal orbs that have always been honest when push comes to shove, “what?” She asks.
Caitlyn gives the strap one more fiddle and then folds her hands in front of her.
“Something’s not right,” she says. Vi is about to tell her off but the worry in her teal eyes makes her stop, “something’s going on.”
She glances as Vander who lets out all the air from his lungs. Somehow he looks instantly older. Eons older. Like how Vi was expecting if she ever made her way down here. The happy bubble trembles at the sadness in his face as he leans against the desk. Vi doesn’t have to look to see where his fingers go. But she looks anyway as he drags his thumb along the deep scratch in the wood. There’s something regretful on his face that steals Vi’s breath away. His regret, Caitlyn’s worry, they all knot together as the ghost of a much younger face with wild blue hair crouches over the desk and digs pencil into the wood as she sobs at Vi.
Like she always did when she was upset.
The happy bubble trembles. But she’s never been one for a happy lie. So Vi takes the pin herself, draws it back and pushes it through.
“What’s wrong with my sister?”
Chapter Text
“So she’s his lost daughter, you said,” Caitlyn asks her new companion.
She lets out a musical laugh that would be charming under literally any other circumstances and smiles.
“Yes,” she says, “she’s the reason for all of this.”
Caitlyn nods and takes a sip of the beer. It was the only unopened beverage she could think to take when they announced a round of drinks in Vi’s honor. She supposes it suits the coveralls she’s wearing. It’s stronger than what she’s expecting.She knows she has to pace herself with the sweat clinging to her skin from hurtling all the way from Piltover. There are dozens of better ways to have made the journey but she’s under no illusions what that was. A test. One for her, certainly. But she’s increasingly certain it was one for Vi as well. No, she is certain. One of those pipes was distinctly inked onto Vi’s neck. Which meant it was from before the peace had really been locked in, back when it was new and far more fragile. Back when this had been the place Vi called home. Except as she takes a sip of her beer, Caitlyn cannot say with confidence this isn’t her home.
She looks so happy.
Caitlyn can see her out of the corner of her eye. But she doesn’t need to see more to tell Vi’s posture has completely shifted. She’s relaxed against her father/uncle’s bulk. Caitlyn isn’t certain which. Whenever he came up he was Uncle Vander. But the moment Vi had thrown herself into his embrace, he became Dad. Caitlyn doesn’t know which is the proper title. Vi is his daughter, but not. Not because apparently her parents had been murdered by Enforcers. Caitlyn keeps her face interested and makes appropriate noises of agreement as her companion rambles on. But her head is turning over where on earth Enforcers would have murdered a pair of parents in front of their children. The fact that she cannot come up with a clear answer is so troubling she has to take another mouthful of beer. Her companion trails off and Caitlyn realizes her rookie mistake. Rudeness is universal. She reaches out and covers her companion’s hand with her own.
“Forgive me, it’s been a long day,” she says, allowing her sadness and confusion to show.
“Well,” her companion says, “we’ll have to make sure it ends well.”
“You’re too kind,” Caitlyn replies.
She’s surprised by a touch on her shoulder and Vander looms over her. He is as impossibly broad as Caitlyn remembers. But now he’s only a head taller than her. All the questions she has about this turn of events crowd on her tongue. But when she looks up at him, she realizes she wants none of the answers from him. He murmurs something to her companion and guides Caitlyn seamlessly through the crowd. It feels like being steered by her mother. The crowd parts around them as he takes her around the bar and down a hatch. Logically Caitlyn knows she should say something. Going into a cellar would not be a wise move under any other circumstances. But Caitlyn has heard endless stories of the apartment below the bar. The place Vi used to call home. And she has her rifle on her back, should the need present itself. That gets her down the first few stairs. The apartment has clearly been turned more into a storage space, but before she can grow concerned she sees the string of fairy lights. She notices how the crates have been arranged to block off that corner of the room. When she comes around the bend, she sees the bed tucked in the corner and the desk next to it.
And Vi.
Vi looks more relaxed than Caitlyn can remember seeing her. There’s a slump in her shoulders like they are too heavy to keep squared. Like someone has taken an impossible burden and given her a moment to relax. Her eyes are reddened from tears and her nose is pink from rubbing. The crying would be worrying if she didn’t look so relaxed. Her eyes lift to Caitlyn’s and all the words Caitlyn has seem to dry up. She looks so calm. Immediately Caitlyn feels foolish for being surprised. Of course Vi looks calm. She’s home. Why wouldn’t she look calm? The pink bedspread, the blue and pink bunnies—this is her room. Her family made sure when Vi came home, she had a piece of the home she remembered. Several of the crate towers look borderline precarious but that doesn’t matter. Caitlyn thinks Vander would store things in the bar itself before he stacked anything on this part of the floor. It’s clean too. Caitlyn imagines if she laid on the bed it would smell fresh as well. It’s very clear they were surprised by Vi’s arrival which tells her this is how the space usually is. It speaks of such hope. One day Vi might find her way there and they want to be ready. They want her to know she is home. She is wanted. She was missed.
“Cait,” she draws Caitlyn’s attention, “what?”
Caitlyn’s stomach drops like it has so many times in the past hours. She wants nothing more than to hear Vander’s voice, but he’s silent. Caitlyn stares at Vi’s blue grey eyes. In her own room. With her own family. It’s everything Vi has desperately wanted, everything she sacrificed to protect. Vander branded her with the words she could not be selfish, but Caitlyn cannot agree. How could Vi not want to be selfish? With everything she’s ever wanted right here, how could she be anything else? And how is Caitlyn supposed to be the one to ruin it? Her throat tightens and she wishes she thought to bring the beer. No, something stronger. She needs something impossibly stronger. The old guilt churns through her. Caitlyn could have kept the message to herself all those years ago. She made the choice to pass it along and condemn them to this fate. Maybe that is why Vander is silent. He is offering her a chance to atone. Caitlyn could stay silent, shake her head. Keep her suspicions to herself. Not pass along the information that could hurt Vi.
But it’s Vi.
And as long as she wears those earrings, they fight for each other.
“Something’s not right,” she says as gently as she can. Anger sparks in Vi’s eyes, “something’s going on.”
Vi rips her gaze away and looks at Vander. Caitlyn follows her gaze. Vander is running his fingers down deep scratches in the wood. Like when you press to hard against a piece of paper on a pad and it marks the next page. Caitlyn has found many notes and phone numbers that way. But these marks are deep. Once she’s seen one, all Caitlyn can see is how many there are. Someone has gouged the wood. In more than one she can see a bit of black nestled there from where the pencil tip snapped off. These are violent marks. Her throat tightens at the thought of how upset someone had to be to make them. Again and again. It prickles at the back of her neck until she’s forced to turn away before she reaches for the firearm at her back. She’s gone on enough hunts to know the simple truth.
A wounded, desperate animal is one of the most dangerous.
“What’s wrong with my sister?” Vi asks.
Vander exhales in a way that makes the hairs on the back of Caitlyn’s neck stand up. He looks as exhausted as Vi just did. Caitlyn looks between them and wonders how they seem able to wear the same expression. Biologically she knows—or believes—they aren’t father and daughter. But Vi copies his mannerisms in a way that is impossible to ignore. Kit and parent is all Caitlyn can think. But, for some reason, it itches at a part of her brain. The way their shoulders slump, their faces fall, like sometimes the weight of what they carry is so much they forget until they put it down. If she was just meeting them she would file them away as very close. The idea wars with the great distance between them. She would not guess they have gone so long without seeing each other. Vander’s face hardens in the same way Vi’s does when she is recovering from an injury or has decided to do something she knows will cost her. It makes worry prickle at the back of Caitlyn’s skull as she stares at him. She has the strangest urge to tell him not to speak. Especially when his eyes move towards her.
“We’ll get to that,” he says, “Miss Kiramman is Vi acting normally?”
Caitlyn sees Vi’s blue-grey eyes widen and dart between them. Vander holds her gaze in a way that makes it difficult to look anywhere else. Caitlyn knows how to single out the person who thinks they are in charge and the person who actually is. Rarely are they the same person. But the quiet, unmistakable way Vander commanders her attention tells her this is one of those rare occasions.
“No,” Caitlyn says finally, “but that’s completely understandable, all things considered.”
“Of course,” Vander says with no anger in his tone. His fingers rest on Vi’s leg. Even though Vi looks gutted, Caitlyn can see her leaning into Vander, “I’m sorry for this next one,” he mutters and Caitlyn tenses and tries to look at Vi, “has she committed any crimes in the past few hours?”
Caitlyn keeps her face carefully blank and only just manages a slight dip of her chin. Vi’s throat bobs as she looks down. Caitlyn can’t bear to be in the interrogation. She’d rather take her chances upstairs, she decides. There’s a quiet murmuring between the pair of them and she can hear the agitation in Vi’s voice. All Caitlyn can think of is the way her face looked on the pipe. The way she begged to not discuss the earth shattering information in a tone Caitlyn hadn’t heard in years. The stairs feel like a siren call, but also like a coward’s way out. And the crimes—Caitlyn refuses to consider. She’s the only one who heard something close to treason and the idea of Vi being in jail still makes her want to vomit. Even if her mother found out Vander was alight, it wasn’t like she would want Vi in jail either. Lying was not a crime, thank the Gods, or Caitlyn would have been jailed years ago.
“Vi is still under House Kiramman’s protection,” she says, trying to shift this closer to anything Vi would want, “nothing that happened here would ever be prosecuted.”
“Dad,” Vi starts and the tone in her voice is terrible to hear, “I haven’t done anything criminal since—“ she stops, “since the first day I got there. Right?”
Caitlyn nods more enthusiastically this time. Which seems to help Vi sit up a bit straighter. But it doesn’t bring the look to Vander’s face that she imagines Vi is hoping for. If anything it makes him look even more tired.
“Dad?” Vi says and the unsure, pained note in her voice makes Caitlyn’s skin crawl as they tumble towards been fourteen again. Vander shifts towards Vi fully, “I’m alright.”
“I know you are, you’re strong Vi,” Vander says and Caitlyn wonders why the soft, proud, tone still makes the compliment sound like a barb, “but even Miss Kiramman can see you’re not acting like yourself.”
“I just got excited,” Vi says.
“I know,” Vander soothes, “me too. But if you risked your whole life without a second thought. And you put Miss Kiramman in danger.”
Caitlyn opens her mouth to object to the last bit but Vi speaks first.
“What?” Vi’s brow furrows and both of their eyes turn towards her.
Caitlyn is used to being inspected and judged, but she’s learned to be prepared for it. At the very least, she’s learned to dress for it. She is not dressed for an inspection now. Even though she’s covered from head to toe, she feels painfully exposed. Somehow it’s worse with Vi than it is with Vander, though a terrible part of her brain says it shouldn’t matter with either of them. They both know why she’s covered in dirt, even though the pair of them are unnervingly clean.
“I’m fine,” Caitlyn points out, draping her arms against the inspection.
It doesn’t matter. Vi’s eyes move over every speck of dirt and grease. Of which there are more than Caitlyn can just brush away. Her eyes linger on her knees and her forearms and her toes. Before she can say anything further Vi is in front of her, holding out her hands. They’ve already clasped hands but Vi flexes her fingers. Knowing she will not stop and realizing they have bigger problems at hand, Caitlyn lays her hands in Vi’s palms. Vi’s eyes widen and Caitlyn tries to snatch her hands back, but her fingers tighten on them.
“It’s nothing,” Caitlyn says, “just a bit of raw skin—“
“Where are your gloves?” Vi questions.
“In my pocket,” she says, jerking her hip as Vi reaches for them. Caitlyn pulls her hands back, “It’s fine,” she repeats.
“No,” Vi says, “you should have—“
“Well we were moving a bit fast for that!” Caitlyn returns. Vi’s face falls, “it was my first time doing this, I couldn’t risk my grip,” they’re both looking forlorn and it rakes across her last nerve, “I’m here, I’m fine,” she says firmly, “I just don’t want to put the gloves on right now.”
“Come on,” Vi says and takes her gently by the wrist, leading her to a half hidden door.
Inside there’s a small bathroom. One that seems too small for four people to share. It barely fits the two of them. But Vi seamlessly starts the taps in the sink so Caitlyn can run water over her hand. She pushes up on her toes and flips down a tin, The metal protests when she flips the latch but Caitlyn knows that it always had. A deterrent, the only one Vi could think of. Vi rifles through and pulls out a bottle. She checks the date and then unscrews it. Caitlyn almost protests but she knows it will be worse if she doesn’t. She shakes the water off her hands and presents them so Vi can pour the solution over her palms. There’s a minimal amount of bubbling but enough for it to sting regardless. She bites the inside of her lip and lets the medicine work as Vi screws the lid back on and looks for anything she can bandage. Caitlyn offers the finger with the lone cut on the tip and Vi manages to roll her eyes. Regardless she wraps a bandage around it and puts the case back up where she found it. Which gives Caitlyn just enough time to plant herself in front of the door.
“I’m fine,” she repeats. Vi looks down, “Vi,” she says firmly, “we have bigger things to worry about right now than some torn skin,” Vi slowly raises her gaze, “Vi why did you ask about your sister?”
Vi cringes and Caitlyn opens her mouth to press the issue before Vi can say anything. But she doesn’t get the chance before Vi moves towards her.
“Let’s talk to my Dad,” she says instead.
“I thought he was your Uncle,” Caitlyn says, even though she’s not sure the bathroom can take any more secrets. Vi doesn’t look guilty though, if anything she looks embarrassed as her cheeks turn pink.
“He is,” she says, “but I always wanted to call him Dad,” she continues, looking oddly young, “I never worked up the courage before—“ she trails off.
Caitlyn doesn’t have a response. Vi offers only a tight smile before she fully opens the bathroom door behind her. Caitlyn has no choice but to collect her face and tuck the latest fact into where she’s storing all this new information abut Vi. She feels incredibly foolish for the almost accusation. Of course it was something along those lines. After all, her parents had been murdered by Enforcers. She knew Vi was an orphan, that Vander had raised her. But she was unaware Vi wanted to call him Dad. As she tucks it away the information stings like a paper cut. It’s a bitter taste in the back of her throat. She pushed Vi so far away after she spoke to her mother, but now Caitlyn cannot help but wonder what she was pushing at. Did she really know Vi at all? She has to let the miserable thoughts go as she steps into the basement to see Vander sitting on the chair. Vi sits on the bed and scoots over, looking at her. Caitlyn shakes her head and something crosses Vi’s face.
“I’m filthy,” she explains, motioning to her coveralls.
“Sit here, Miss Kiramman,” Vander says, moving over to the bed. Caitlyn takes the chair, “how are you hands?”
“Fine, Vi patched me up,” Caitlyn says quickly. Vander nods, “should we be concerned about Powder?” Caitlyn asks, foregoing waiting for Vi to ask her question, “has any of the cash gone missing lately?”
“Cait!”
“No, Miss Kiramman’s right to ask,” Vander says, “it hasn’t,” he continues, “a lot of it goes to her tuition—we were at her school last week, there were no issues—the boiler broke earlier this month so most of it’s gone to that. I made her tuition payment as well.”
“I thought—“ Vi stops herself, frustration etched on her face. Caitlyn watches as she stands up and walks over to the desk, thumbing one of the deep gouges in the wood, “I thought she was going to be alright with you guys.”
“She is,” Vander says, not responding to the accusation that edges the last few words in Vi’s tone, “mostly—'
“Then why is she down here doing this to the desk?” Vi demands, her hands flattening on one of the scratches. Their eyes meet and Vi’s face falls again as Caitlyn gets to her feet, “Powder used to do this when she got really upset,” she says, “I used to save whatever paper I could so she wouldn’t ruin any of the drawings she liked,” her eyes go distant at the memory before she shakes herself back into the present, “I thought when you guys had the money she wouldn’t be upset anymore.”
Caitlyn feels ill at the way she reasons it out so simply. It’s so Vi of her. Problem, solution. Powder was upset and Vi couldn’t fix it, so Vi got the resources. It’s simple and it’s impossibly foolish. They are adults now, they know not all problems can be fixed by money. Even seeing the sisters interact for a few hours told her neither of them were alright with the situation. She felt her own shock at Powder showing up. Caitlyn also knows Vi can be impulsive and feel things incredibly deeply. But it’s rare for her to just go along with things so willingly. Especially if there are consequences to those around her. Caitlyn thinks back to the first moment’s with Powder. The nervous energy, the clench of the envelope, starting with Violet like no-one else would know her nickname. Something feels as though it’s not adding up like Caitlyn wants it to. Even if she makes the usual allowances for human behavior, there’s a desperation in Powder’s actions that seems strange the more she considers it. It reminds her of Vi the first morning, shoving food into her shirt alongside precious antiques because food was scarce. Her mother had even tempted Vi with the promise of food. And the only moment that first night when Vi didn’t look miserable was when Caitlyn presented her with the cupcake her parents bought to cheer her up.
“Do you keep the envelopes?” Caitlyn asks. Vander shakes his head, “you throw them out?” Vi gives her a questioning look, “the money should have gotten here a day or two ago?’
“That’s right.”
“Cait what are you getting at?” Vi ask but the anger has eased from her tone.
“She had the most recent envelope—“ she pauses at Vi’s questioning look, “I rotate ink colors so it doesn’t look like it’s always coming from me,” she explains, “and so your—dad—could place when it got to him—“ she pauses and looks at Vander, “I hope the system wasn’t confusing?”
“Not at all,” he says, “she’s got eleven shades of blue, switches to purple for your birthday.”
“She had the last one. So she took the envelope for proof and came right to you,” she looks at Vi’s guarded features, “that’s either incredibly impulsive after so many years or there was a plan.”
Caitlyn isn’t sure which one to look at. Vi’s fingertips come dangerously close to touching hers, but just as they are about to, Vi drags her hand away and shifts to lean against the desk. She folds her arms around herself. On the bed, Vander scrapes a hand across his face. While Caitlyn notes the gesture, her focus is on Vi. Like always. Vi folds herself up like she does when they are forced to attend some party and the night drags on too long. She hides it from everyone but Caitlyn can always find her in some darkened corner trying to be invisible. Just for a few minutes. It always makes her heart sink. Many champagne flutes have met their end so Caitlyn can cause some kind of distraction to buy her a few minutes. Her fingers itch with the knowledge she cannot help Vi in this moment. The most she can do is shake her head at Vander and touch Vi’s shoulder lightly. Just enough to draw her attention. Still it’s almost a surprise when Vi speaks.
“Powder’s always been sensitive,” she says, “she always felt things really deeply,” she glances at Caitlyn her lips quirk into an almost smile, “more than me, a lot more than me.”
Caitlyn doesn’t know how well Vi remembers that second night. It’s not something they talk about. But Caitlyn remembers it. She remembers every heave of Vi’s back, every keening sob she tried to muffle into the pillow. No-one had ever cried that way in front of her before. No-one has since. Even when her grandmother died, her mother kept her tears where Caitlyn could not see them. So Caitlyn had put hers away too. Until Vi got home and wedged their backs together. Now even when Caitlyn is furious at her, when their backs get wedged together the memory of Vi’s sobs seems to echo under her skin. Vi’s sobs and her own helplessness in the face of them. Now even though Vi isn’t sobbing, that helplessness is beginning to ache under her skin. Vi’s thumb moves in the crook of her own elbow as she collects her thoughts and Caitlyn wonders if she’s about to lie. But she faces herself not to think that immediately. She can’t bear the thought that Vi is going to add to the lies between them. Not when they both have always held that place of honesty with each other. Or tried to. Caitlyn wants to believe they tried, she forces herself to believe it as Vi opens her mouth.
“She’d do this the most when she was upset at being left behind,” she says “or she’d cry until she made herself sick. Then she’d be fine. Once she got it out of her system—“ Vi’s brows draw together and she looks at Vander, “right?”
Vander shakes his head.
“I’ve known the girls their entire lives,” he says, giving Vi an apologetic look. Caitlyn tries not to feel guilt at the knowledge so much of Vi’s life has been without him now, “Powder’s always had deep feelings that changed quickly. Something went wrong when she was born—“ he stops at the gutted look on Vi’s face, “when Vi came to your family I didn’t let Powder write to her. I told Powder it was for Vi and that was a part of it, but she kept trying to run off to find you.”
“When did she learn where I was?” Vi asks after a long moment, her voice carefully controlled.
“I told her a few days ago,” he says, “when she threatened to reject her university acceptance—“
“She got into university?” Vi asks, her tone hopeful.
“She’s a smart kid,” Vander says, “but she’s an adult. Can’t make her do things anymore,” Vi makes a noise of agreement, “everything seemed fine at school, I thought it would be alright,” his head dips, “things have been alright for so long I never thought she was going to run off and find you like this.”
Caitlyn glances at the wood gouge by her hip and wonders how he can say things have been fine. She doesn’t know a delicate way to say it, especially when Vi glances up at her through her lashes. Caitlyn knows the doubt is on her face. She’s expecting more pain on Vi’s. Another wound in their bond. But Vi’s brows draw together and she looks at Vander.
“She showed me her tattoos,” she says, “she said she wouldn’t go to school without them,” her brow creases further, “when was that?”
“Too young,” Vander concedes, “I tried explaining to the school she needed the flare but they refused. She let us draw one of them on her the first day but—“ he trails off.
“How old was she?” Caitlyn asks.
“Twelve for the first one.”
“Twelve?!” Caitlyn’s eyes widen. Even Vi looks shocked. Vander looks embarrassed, “who even tattoos a twelve year old?”
“Anyone if you pay them enough,” Vi says, “or their parents don’t stop them.”
“Vi it was an arm tattoo or she wasn’t going to school,” Vander says. He glances at Vi’s cheek, “when did you get that?”
Vi’s jaw clenches.
“The whole point of me being there was she wouldn’t have to do the shit I did,” Vi says, her voice tight, “her life would be better.”
“Her life is good,” Vander interject, “yours is good as well,” he says. Vi opens her mouth but he pushes on, “I know right now it doesn’t feel that way but look at you. I can see—“
“Could you give us a moment?” Caitlyn cuts in quickly. Vander stops speaking and looks at her, “I’m sorry,” Caitlyn says, “something’s wrong with my hand I think I need Vi to clean it again—“
She doesn’t even know what she’s saying but she can hear the way Vi’s breath is catching. Maybe she wants her Dad to be the one to soothe her. But when Caitlyn pushes her forward, Vi gets up. Caitlyn half pushes, half drags her back to the tiny bathroom. The moment they are inside she yanks the door shut and tugs the tiny pin lock Vi has told her about a thousand times. Vi moves for the box again before Caitlyn can point out her hands are fine. She’s left antiseptic marks on the back of Vi’s jacket with how much she’s pushed her. But she knows sometimes Vi needs a task to refocus herself. But when she gets the box down, it tips and clatters to the ground. Caitlyn watches in horror as Vi staggers to the wall and slides down it, drawing up her knees. Her head tips back in misery, eyes closed as she forces air through her lungs. It’s a breathing pattern Caitlyn has read about, but rarely does she see Vi use it. Not when she’s upset and just the two of them. Vi rarely cries, but Caitlyn realizes this is the second time this day. Second time, second bathroom. The fact this is the same day makes her head spin as she hovers by the sink. This morning Vi thought her sister was fine. This afternoon she thought they were on the same page. Now they are sitting in a bathroom in Zaun and any move feels as though it could be Vi's doom. A doom that will forever be tied to the sister whose life she thought she made perfect. The bitterness of it, the cruelty of it, it makes Caitlyn nauseous.
“I—“ Vi starts.
“Not right now,” Caitlyn cuts in gently, unable to inject any authority into her voice in the face of Vi’s misery, “just breathe. I’m watching the door.”
Vi only gives the slightest nod.
Of all the ways Caitlyn imagined their first time behind a locked door together.
It certainly wasn’t this.
Chapter Text
The tears are real this time.
Powder sniffles and clutches the bunny to her chest as Vi rubs circles in her back and assures her she’s not mad. It’s profoundly jarring to see how quickly she flits between such deep emotions. She’s gone from a big grin to sobs in the time it’s taken her to get across the room and sit on the bed. When her blue eyes lift and find Caitlyn’s, everything in Caitlyn screams to find another exit and get out. She was right that something was wrong, she needs to listen to that feeling. She’s missing something, she just cannot figure out what. But being in a basement with her feels like a bad idea. Even so, she’s sitting next to Vi. So Caitlyn refuses to give into the panic. She’s been pinned by worse gazes than those of a sobbing, mentally unstable young woman. She softens her features and Powder dissolves into great hiccuping sobs for a few minutes before she sniffles and straightens up.
“I’m sorry, Miss Kiramman,” she whispers, “I just wanted to see Vi,” she chews at her lip, “they wouldn’t even let me write to her.”
“Pow that was to keep you safe,” Vi says in a gentle tone. Powder’s blue eyes lock on hers, “I wanted to write you too.”
“Did you have anyone you wrote to?”
“Yeah, Cait and I wrote to each other.”
Powder’s eyes flick towards her and for a moment Caitlyn swears she stops crying before the tears come anew. For the past decade letters have been her primary communication with Vi. She thinks of all the letters that were sent, the letters that she burned, the one she tried to get back from the Headmaster. Every time a letter would come for her Caitlyn’s heart would race. She knew it was read, their mail was monitored, but she would still take it up to her room to read for some semblance of privacy. She has all of them in a box. Even the mean ones. Even the ones that broke her heart or made her so angry she couldn’t see. She kept them at first because they were from her friend. But as she got older, she kept them because she thought one day they might be all she had of Vi. Of evidence they were once friends. In that moment when the tears stop, Caitlyn can see the confusion on her face. It irks her in a way she cannot quite describe. Powder’s wide eyed stare at Vi not being able to close her door pounds in the back of her head. It makes Vi sound like she was a prisoner. But the last thing Cailtyn intends on doing is explaining the reasoning behind the door. Instead she nods her head and Powder focuses back on Vi.
All the while Caitlyn can feel Vander watching them.
Caitlyn is used to scrutiny. She knows how to armor herself against it. But she feels exposed. She cannot tell if it’s because she’s dressed so casually, if it’s because they watched her humiliate herself on her way down here or if it’s something else. But she feels exposed. Exposed and oddly like a voyeur. The moment between Vi and her sister feels too intimate for Caitlyn to be watching. She’s always done her best to be aware of Vi watching her with her parents and feeling homesick. But watching Vi rub her sister’s back while her father watches from the door makes her wonder if it did any good. Or if Vi has been feeling like this for years without saying a word. The thought makes Caitlyn feel like she’s swallowed something living and it’s wriggling around in her stomach. She does not want to leave Vi alone with Powder, not after what she’s seen, but she thinks she might be sick with the guilt. As quietly as she can, she slips into the bathroom for the umpteenth time. She imagines Vander is concerned for his plumbing and in the same breath she almost laughs at the memory that she’s paid for most of it with her allowance.
She’s not sick but it’s a near thing. Anything in her stomach has been digested as she ran down on Vi’s heels. Her fingers twitch at the memory of the pipe she recognized from the back of Vi’s neck. She knew the industrial tattoo was heavy in Zaun symbolism. That had been enough to get her to not ask more about it except to compliment it. But the pipe cluster shows her that it is, at least in part, a map. A map to the home they took Vi from. Her fingers curl on the sink as she recites what Vi told her all those years ago. What being a leader actually means. Whatever happens is on her. She owes it to Vi to be a good leader. She owes it to generations of her family, but it feels like Vi most of all. Vi who slips into the bathroom again. Some part of Caitlyn wants to laugh at the absurdity of this. They have spent years following the rules, keeping the door slotted open when one of them is inside. Each of those rooms has been double the size of this one. Now Vi closes the door and they take up so much space it’s like ever fear her mother had is being dragged up.
“What’s wrong?” Vi asks.
“What if I was using the bathroom?” Caitlyn asks. Vi shakes her head and Caitlyn remembers Vi’s words. How you can hear everything. There was no privacy., “I could have been."
“What’s wrong?” She repeats.
“Your sister thinks I’m a monster,” Caitlyn says. Vi sighs and looks down, “she doesn’t understand.”
“I’ll talk to her,” Vi says, “I didn’t understand either at first,” she fidgets for a moment, “none of us are good at first impressions.”
Caitlyn frowns. But her objection falls silent as Vi offers a pained half smile.
“Your mom started interrogating her—“ she starts. "You were gone—“
“I was trying to collect myself,” Caitlyn interrupts, “I was already embarrassed at how I behaved earlier and then your sister showed up and you nearly broke your neck getting to her,” she shakes her head, “I couldn’t believe it was really happening.”
Vi’s face softens in a way Caitlyn isn’t certain she deserves. Her hands jam into her pockets and for a moment she looks like the wary 14 year old Sheriff Grayson brought into their living room.
“Me neither,” Vi admits.
“And then my father asked if I knew you had another sister—“ Vi’s lip curls, “I know,” Caitlyn says rolling her eyes, “I was worried this would turn into an interrogation about your family."
Vi looks at her in surprise.
“And then after I heard you in the bathroom—“ Caitlyn cuts herself off.
Vi’s face goes as pink as her hair, maybe a little darker. Caitlyn feels as though she’s been dunked in ice. Vi is not subtle. She never has been. Espionage marks have always notoriously been her lowest. Even with what she now knows about Vi’s history with Enforcers, Vi has never exactly been shy about her dislike of them. There was once a tentative discussion about Vi possibly being a uniformed Enforcer that she had quickly shot down. At the time she thought it was because the idea of Vi in that direct danger made her feel queasy. That and the fact that Vi’s brilliant mind seemed like it would be wasted there. But even then some part of her had balked at the idea of Vi being so directly involved. Being boots on the ground. Some part of her knew Vi could not bear it. Not if there was the slightest chance she would be in Zaun and facing her family as an Enforcer. Keeping her away from the direct fighting seemed like the smallest thing they could do. Even though as Vi’s record of misbehaving grew, it took more influence and money to keep her on the track to being an Officer. It was worth every penny but some part of Caitlyn was glad she did not have her grandmother giving her a knowing look when she wrote out the sums to the Academy. The only consistent thing in Vi’s marks was her poor espionage ones. Vi was simply a bad liar. Caitlyn wonders how any part of her expected Vi was keeping a secret allegiance this entire time.
Wonders why it feels disappointing to remember she is not a good liar.
“I’m sorry,” Vi says. Caitlyn looks at her, “I got caught up in the moment—“
“I know—“
“I wouldn’t betray you,” Vi says. Caitlyn goes silent, “I don’t know the rest but I wouldn’t do that to you.”
Vi’s hand grasps her forearm. Her blue-grey eyes search Caitlyn’s face, even though Caitlyn tries to push everything down. But that has always been the thing with Vi. When Vi stares at her she finds it nearly impossible to tell her what she wants to hear.
“I know you wouldn’t betray us with the Enforcers,” she says.
“No, you,” Vi says firmly, “I wouldn’t—“ she stops. Something clicks in her head and her fingers tighten on her forearm. Guilt and anger bubble in Caitlyn’s stomach, “Cait—“
“Let’s not do this now,” she says, slipping her hand away from Vi’s grip, “your father is going to think we’re destroying the plumbing.”
“You can hear everything,” Vi points out.
“All the more reason,” Caitlyn counters and opens the door.
Vander and Powder are sitting together now. Vander goes quiet as soon as they come out. Powder is sitting up straighter, her fingers wedged under her thighs. Vi glances between them and hesitates. So Caitlyn walks forward towards the desk. She sees Powder’s eyes dart towards it and keeps her face carefully blank as she walks back over to the makeshift diving wall. She looks up instead at the metal flowers.
“Did you make those?” Powder nods, “you’re very talented.”
“They were nothing,” she says softly, something shy in her voice, “I made them a while ago.”
“Powder’s always been an artist,” Vi says, “you should see some of the art Cait has.”
“I saw the portrait,” Powder says hesitantly, “in your parlor,” Caitlyn nods, “it must have been hard to hold still for so long.”
It’s an odd thing to say about the portrait, but she’s heard it before. And it is true, it’s the thing she complains about every time her mother says it’s time to do the portraits. There are two lines of them. The family portraits that document their legacy and her individual portraits as the future Matriarch. At the very least in her own portraits she’s permitted to sit, a tradition one of her ancestors began and Caitlyn will be forever grateful for.
“Yes, but your sister made the last one tolerable.”
“I read to her,” Vi elaborates. Powder perks up, “voices and everything.”
“She does the best voices, right?” She says, turning to Caitlyn.
Caitlyn had been surprised when Vi had dropped cross-legged behind the chair. She was already sour that the portrait had been scheduled during one of the precious weeks off for Vi. Then Vi started reading and Caitlyn had to be reminded more than once to keep her gaze ahead. The artist had left the lower part of her face blank because even when she looked ahead it was hard to make that demure half smile. Caitlyn nods and tries not to jump when Vi bumps their shoulders together.
“Caitlyn’s great at reading a story too,” she says, “she even makes those boring speeches sound interesting.”
“You spoke at Powder’s school once,” Vander chimes in. Caitlyn tries to remember if she saw her, but the faces blend together, “you were impressed, weren’t you.”
“Yes,” Powder says but the embarrassed tone of her voice makes Caitlyn think she was anything but. Not that she can find it in her heart to blame her, “maybe we should go back upstairs so you can talk with Ekko?”
Vi is close enough that Caitlyn feels her shoulder tense. She bumps her own into it. It’s clear that Ekko is a lifeline for Powder. She’s heard about him before. Vi has quietly whispered her memories to her for years so she doesn’t forget them. But those memories are frozen in time. Like the bugs suspended in amber that her father keeps on his desk. Time has marched on. Ekko and Powder are not the children Vi left behind. Powder looks at Vi a bit warily. Caitlyn can imagine Vi was less than thrilled if they are romantic. From the few touches she’s seen and the way Powder looks hopefully up at the stairs, Caitlyn imagines they are. It’s another thing that Vi has missed.
“You should. And I should start to head back,” Caitlyn says, “as long as you come back in a few days—you should stay.”
She cannot believe she’s saying the words or the knot they form in her stomach, but the moment they leave her lips they feel right. This is right. Vi should stay. She should get to know these people who she loves. And if she keeps it vague, she can come down and get her if her parents ever let her out of the house again. But she can also chose to see this logically. Vi has done nothing to make Caitlyn question her loyalty outside of the last few hours. And they’ve settled that she needs to be careful with her sister. She gives up trying to smile and settles for making sure her head is held high and her tears are shoved back.
“You should stay and I should get back,” she says, “I left a note but Vi can tell you about my mother,” she continues.
“Wait you’re going back?” Vi repeats, the smile morphing into something more confused, “but you just got here?”
“I know and it was certainly a trip,” Caitlyn says, shocked at the thready laugh she lets out, “but I’ll just take the bathysphere back up—“
“You’re welcome to stay Miss Kiramman,” Vander says.
“Thank you but that’s really not appropriate,” Caitlyn says, “my parents would not feel comfortable with me down here without a bodyguard,” she continues with an apologetic smile, “but it was a pleasure to meet all of you.”
She makes her way to the door before she realizes that she’s turned into Vi. No goodbye, not directly. But she can’t bring herself to do it knowing this could be the last time. She reminds herself that Vi has the earrings, even as little voice whispers she has them because Caitlyn did not give her a chance to take them off. Instead, Caitlyn focuses on the fact that she has them. That is the only thing that matters. That is their promise to each other. As long as she has them, it’s still in effect. Caitlyn repeats that to herself like she has in every dark and angry moment. They are still in this together. She will see Vi at least one more time when she comes up to get Mr. Bunny. She has to believe that. It’s the only thing that makes it possible to step out of the bar and onto the street. She glances up for where the bathysphere might be but finds it impossible to locate on sight alone. She shoves that thought away and picks a direction. She’ll find a way to ask when she gets away from this place. When she can breathe again.
She walks into the crowds milling about, careful not to draw attention to herself. Sternly she reminds herself that Vi just almost got her to break her own neck jumping along rooftops. There is no reason to feel like she’s in danger with her feet on the ground. But Vi's absence feels like she has a target on her back. Caitlyn fights the urge to pull out her gun. This is a feeling, nothing more. And an incorrect one at that. She has spent most of her life navigating crowds without Vi, the fact that these are in Zaun and not Piltover cannot make that much of a difference. She forces herself to be aware of her surroundings as she walks. Especially when she hears grunts and shouts behind her as someone shoves through the crowd. Caitlyn tries to shift away from their path. Getting caught up in a fight seems like an unwise thing to do. But the person shoving through the crowd and returning curses finally pops up and Caitlyn freezes.
Vi’s eyes lock with hers and she shoves through.
“Wait!” Vi runs up to her and all but dives in front of her, “don’t go.”
She’s out of breath but drags herself up, planting firmly in front of Caitlyn. She’s disheveled and sweat is on her brow, but she jerks her head up and locks their eyes together. Caitlyn knows she’s thrown a wrench in whatever plans were made for this moment. It’s hard not to feel embarrassed. Her only solace is at least she has figured out her misstep earlier. Perhaps she will be able to figure it out before she makes it next time. That would certainly be a step in the right direction. She forces herself to really look at Vi. She fits in seamlessly down here without a second thought. Like all the time she has spent away was nothing more than a bad dream. Even now she hears people calling Vi’s name from the bar. These people have missed her. They want her there. She has nothing more than the borrowed clothes on her back to most of them and yet they are clamoring to shake her hand and buy her drinks. It’s so different from the world above their heads. These people see her in a way Piltover never has. She’s the danger to this joy here, not Powder.
“Vi—“ she starts, trying to repeat herself in a way Vi will accept.
“You left the note, right?” Vi continues, “stay and we can go back together,” Caitlyn hesitates.
“Vi you can’t act as my bodyguard,” she points out.
“You don’t need one,” Vi says, “not if you’re with me and my family,” something bright shines in her eyes, “come on, I’ve spent ten yeas with yours. Don’t you want to spend a few days with mine?”
Caitlyn knows the right answer is no. She’s expected back home. She’ll get a stern lecture and probably never be able to leave again, even if—no--when Vi does return. The idea this could be her last bit of freedom for the foreseeable future makes her pause. It feels easier to focus on that then the strange feeling at the prospect of spending time with Vi’s family. That makes her feel like she’s back on the pipe, about to fall into nothingness. Her stomach is doing the same flip it did in that moment. This feels like another monumental shift. Something too big to reconcile. Something that should not have started with anger and mistrust. It feels too dangerous to think of it in those terms. But thinking of it as a way to avoid being locked up in her gilded cage? That feels easier. Better. VI was the first person to show her how to leave, to make sure she could navigate the climb. This is just a bigger climb. More freedom. Caitlyn catches her bottom lip between her teeth and Vi’s smile breaks across her face. She holds out her hand wordlessly.
Taking it is the easiest thing Caitlyn has done all day.
Chapter Text
Her dream came true.
It’s not perfect, but Vi never expected it to be. She knew everyone would look a bit different, their lives would go to place she could not imagine. She thought she might be able to predict Caitlyn, but even she is different than Vi thought. It’s different but it’s what she dreamed. She has to blink to make sure she’s not seeing things. Pinch herself behind her back to make sure this is real. But she doesn’t jerk awake like she usually does. It’s real. Everyone she loves is in the Last Drop. Dad is cleaning glasses and laughing at something Benzo said. Her siblings are crowded together around a table. Ekko is shoulder to shoulder with Powder, their heads bent over some metal. And Caitlyn—Caitlyn is passing her a glass of amber liquid. Vi is ready for it to be liquor but the tea that hits her tongue is much nicer. Of course Caitlyn wouldn’t be drinking liquor at a time like this and Vi has to agree.
It’s smart.
Unlike her staying here.
It’s the second time today she’s put her in actual danger. Vi knows she should have listened to her. Caitlyn is smart—the smartest person Vi knows besides Powder—and they both know this place is dangerous for her. Vi should have let her just go up. But they both also know that back in Piltover is Caitlyn’s mother. And there’s just no way Vi can stomach the idea of letting Caitlyn run up to Piltover to face Cassandra Kiramman on her own. She’ll be well intentioned, her worry will be understandable. But it’ll gut Caitlyn all the same. Vi instigated this when she ran down here with Powder. When she didn’t think to question a word out of her sister’s mouth. Even if Caitlyn goes up and lies to her mom, the truth will come out eventually. And Vi can’t stomach the idea of Caitlyn facing that on her own. As long as no-one down her realizes she’s Caitlyn Kiramman she’ll be fine.
She doesn’t even look like a Kiramman.
Vi has always been the weakest when Caitlyn is out of all the finery. When she’s in her pajamas or the coveralls. When the expectations that weigh so heavily on her are pushed back. Now Caitlyn is in her coveralls with grease on her nose instead of dirt. In a weird way she looks eerily like the foggy images Vi has of her mom when she’d come back from the factory. She doesn’t remember a lot, but she remembers the way her heart would thump when the handle would turn. How her mom would wrap her in her arms and tell her everything was alright. Those moments were the most comforting Vi ever experienced. They said she made it through another day. That everything was alright now. She drags herself away from the memories and focuses on Caitlyn, knocking their glasses together and taking another sip.
“You made it through your first Run,” Vi says. Caitlyn looks surprised before color splashes across her cheeks, “it wasn’t bad.”
“That’s only because you helped,” Caitlyn says.
“Just a little, but you navigated a lot on your own with the pipes,” Vi says.
“No,” Caitlyn returns and fixes her with one of those looks Vi is always powerless against, “I followed your tattoo.”
Vi mutters a swear as triumph flares in Caitlyn’s eyes. But Vi can't even be upset about it, not really. She told herself Caitlyn had just been watching closely, but a part of her wondered if she figured it out. Of course she did. Vi has no idea why she thought otherwise. Caitlyn is the best person she knows at solving puzzles. Of course she would figure it out the moment she needed it. VI hadn’t expected her to follow, but when she and Powder had been walking she told her they should go down the old way. The way that she taught Powder, the way she always used to go. She wanted to do it to see if she remembered. It would be terribly funny if she hadn’t. If that whole part of the tattoo that was supposed to guide her home turned out to be wrong. Thankfully it wasn’t. She knew as she went across the familiar route, even if it had been a decade her body remembered.
“Thank Gods it was right, huh,” Vi says. Caitlyn’s eyes go wide, “it would have been really embarrassing if it wasn’t—“
“You weren’t sure?” Caitlyn questions. Vi shrugs, “why on earth would you get that on your neck if you weren’t sure?”
“What else was I supposed to get?” Vi asks.
“Nothing!” Caitlyn says, fingering her collar, “you can have a neck without a tattoo.”
Vi snorts and nods towards the other people. Caitlyn glances around and falls silent, pressing her lips together. Neck tattoos are rare in Piltover, but down here there’s more people with ink climbing up their necks than without. Even Powder has a cloud reaching up when her collar is unbuttoned. Vander’s words about Powder’s tantrums echo through her head and Vi looks down at the tea. Powder has always had these episodes, Vi doesn’t know why she convinced herself they would magically go away. Vi pushes away the knot of worry and embarrassment. That’s something she can puzzle out later. It’s one of those big things she cannot solve now. Vander taught her to push that aside and the Academy gave her the skills to do it. There was no point in worrying about a wound you couldn’t fix. Not while there was still something to accomplish. Right now she just wants to be in the moment. She wants to drink in this once in a lifetime sight, with all it’s flaws and perfections.
“I’m really glad you stayed,” Vi blurts out.
Caitlyn stiffens and looks at her in surprise. Heat climbs up the back of Vi’s neck. The surprise is somehow more gutting than any other way Caitlyn has looked at her in the past few hours. Or few months, if Vi is being honest. She can stomach Caitlyn’s anger, much as she hates it. Her indifference is more gutting. But Caitlyn being surprised Vi is glad she stayed is easily the worst of all. It’s hard to let someone know that you care about them when they’re as dead set on avoiding you as Caitlyn has been with her. Which Vi knows is her own damn fault. While she still can’t bring herself to regret putting Caitlyn’s safety first, she can admit this doesn’t help make that clear. The whole point was Zaun was dangerous. They sent a bomb in the mail. And now she’s dragged her down here, to the place she said was so dangerous it was worth damaging their relationship to keep her safe. Except Vi knows if she had been in the sheriff’s office with Caitlyn it would have been an entirely different story. She could keep her safe if she was there, the problem was she wasn’t. She wasn’t and couldn’t be for a long time considering Officer school was staring her in the face.
“You asked,” Caitlyn says and there’s something in her voice that crowds a thousand questions on Vi’s tongue.
“Vi!” Powder calls and waves her over. There’s a moment of hesitation on her face before she looks at Caitlyn “come here!”
They make their way over to the table with something very close to hope clogging Vi’s throat. Everyone knows about the Inventor’s Competition, the Kiramman’s give half the prize money every year. Each time the list comes out, Vi prays to see Powder’s name on it. Or hopes to, anyway. Not because she wants her to win but just so there’s a chance they could see each other. Now it doesn’t even matter as Powder shows her the project the four of them have been working on. Vi tries to wrap her head around the fact they’ve come up with a clever way to get rid of the last bits of smog from the deepest part of Zaun. That toxic stuff that Vi will never forget the taste of no matter how much clean air she breathes. The genetically engineered flowers look like the few stubborn blossoms that used to push up from the dirt near their home. Probably the only things that grew down there.
“You guys did this?” Vi asks, looking at the flower.
“The conversion rate is still low,” Claggor says, “but we’re getting closer.”
“Then we wouldn’t have to rely on the vents,” Powder blurts out.
“Or we could have a backup,” Ekko says.
Of all the voices, his is the most jarringly different. It’s the voice of a man now, not a boy. There’s a steadiness about him that Vi can’t quite wrap her head around. A steadiness and maturity that compliments Powder so well. Of all the things happening down here, she has the most questions about their romance. How did it happen? When did it happen? Are they happy? But anytime she holds Ekko’s eyes for too long he goes pink in the cheeks and fingers one of the beads in his hair. She wonders if Powder told him about her confusion back in the Kiamman’s. Vi knows it’s another thing she has to explain. But Caitlyn’s voice breaks through the desperate urge and like a siren’s call Vi watches her talking to her brothers. Even Powder seems happy to explain something to her and Vi just lets their voices wash over her. Steb and Loris don’t have much interest in the stiff formality of Piltover, but here everything sounds familiar in a way Vi hadn’t expected. Even with all the distance and the changes, this place manages to sound like what she remembers.
“This is incredible,” she says to Ekko. He blinks in surprise at her before bobbing his head, “I like your earrings,” she says, motioning to his lobes.
“I like yours too,” he says.
His earrings are thick hoops of brassy gold but they suit him. Vi wonders where he got them, if they were a present from Powder or Benzo or if he just picked them out. Or maybe he stole them. It’s another thing she wants to ask him one day. When’s he had been hugging Vander, the first thing she did was brush the top of her ear to make sure hers were still in place. Them being in place meant as much as Vander’s arms around her. Now the idea that Ekko is also wearing earrings down here makes them feel even more important. Like there’s some common thread through both parts of her life. Like maybe she doesn’t have to make the choice that’s hung over her for the past decade.
“So when’s the competition?” She asks.
“Two days,” Ekko says, a familiar note of frustration in his voice, “it’s not gonna be ready.”
“Yeah it will,” Vi says. He glances up at her, “and if it’s not, it’ll be ready next year.”
Ekko opens his mouth to say something but only goes pink and nods.
“Thanks, Vi,” he says.
Something soars in her chest at how he accepts her confidence. It might be the easiest interaction she’s had all night. But if there was one person she would think that would happen with, it’s Ekko. The fact that she was right, even just about this one thing, settles something warm in her chest. Something that makes the last few hours of the night fly by in a blur until she’s wiping down the bar like she’s fourteen again. Vader watches her with a smile on his face even though he’s told her she doesn’t have to do it. Somehow the rest of them seem to have gotten out of the majority of their old chores. There’s other people here who can do it, but Vi likes the familiarity of the rag on the wood. The smell of the polish he still uses. It makes her think of how things used to be. She looks up as Powder slides onto the bar stool.
“We figured you’d want to sleep downstairs,” Powder says, “at least tonight. Does Ms. Kiramman want your room upstairs?”
Vi glances over at her.
“Nah, we’ll sleep downstairs,” he says, “and just call her Caitlyn.”
Powder chews her lip but nods, placing back at Caitlyn. Caitlyn looks over and carefully walks towards them.
“I figured we’d crash in my room downstairs,” Vi says, “sleepover like we usually do.”
Cailtyn hesitates only a fraction of a second before nodding.
“Yes, of course,” she says.
Vi exhales in relief. Sleepover is accurate and it’s not. Does it count as a sleepover if it’s been months since one of them has said anything before crawling into the other’s bed? But Caitlyn immediately agrees. Vi knows it’s because this is the safest thing. It’s the only thing that makes sense. She can see the confusion on Powder’s face and she has no idea how to explain this dichotomy. How they can share a bed but cannot close the door. So she doesn’t even bother. Despite the bitter feeling it stirs in the back of her throat, like she’s somehow choosing to side with Caitlyn. There has to be a way to balance all of this. But right now she cannot fathom the idea of Caitlyn being farther than an arm’s reach from her. Not right now. From the way Caitlyn readily agrees, Vi has a feeling it’s a mutual thing. Any doubt is erased after all their hugs and goodnights are exchanged and Caitlyn’s shoulders slump the moment they’re alone.
“Thank you,” Caitlyn says, the moment Vi has the door half bolted.
Vi nods, watching as Caitlyn makes her way into the corner bedroom. Vi glances around at the boxes, trying to place everything in case they do need to run. The place looks different, even though the lights from her corner help. Caitlyn watches as Vi trails her finger along the wall and locates the hatch that they used to use to sneak out. It’s been boarded up but a few good strikes should get it out. She marks the wood so they can find it easily and joins Caitlyn in the room. It should feel stranger than it does to have her down there, but Caitlyn looks like she belongs there. Still covered in grime from their trip down, dressed her her coveralls, she could be anyone on the streets of Zaun. The thought makes a warm feeling settle in Vi’s chest and she shoves it aside, focusing on the dirt instead.
“Let’s see what we have for clothes,” she says, opening the trunk at the bottom of the bed.
There’s far more than she thought there would be.
It’s so different from how she left things. They barely had a change of them. She was forever scrubbing away evidence of their mischief and repairing frays when she scrubbed too hard. Now there’s a stack of shirts and pants in a few different sizes. Vi shoves aside the emotion, not wanting to consider if it’s the luxury or the fact that her family didn’t know what she looked like to buy her the right size. She might be a stranger now, but she doesn’t have to be. She won’t be. Shoving everything aside she grabs a pair of pants, a shirt and a set of underwear. She comes back out with them for Caitlyn. Caitlyn’s eyes dart to the offered clothes and then back up to her face. A sense of deja vu echoes through Vi as they look at each other. Everything has shifted, but somehow they’ve found themselves back at this point. Something close to hope aches in her chest. Hope that maybe this can be a fresh start for them, even though she knows that’s a fools game. Still she holds out the clothes with a smile.
“Wish I had a cupcake for you,” she jokes, but Caitlyn gives her the most genuine smile and the joke falls away, “you should shower first,” she says, “in case the hot water goes.”
Caitlyn nods and takes the clothes, slipping into the bathroom. Only then does Vi remember her dad’s words. There’s hot water because Caitlyn’s allowance bought them a new boiler. But Caitlyn doesn’t correct her. She showers and is out before Vi has a chance to think of something else to say. For years Vi has a dreamed about the bathroom. But her memory warped it in a way she can’t quite puzzle through. She spent so long closing her eyes and trying to put herself back here, she didn’t realize something had switched. When she closes her eyes she puts herself back in the bathroom in the Kiramman house. Her fingers brush along tile looking for bottles in place they aren’t. Until she has to force her eyes open to find what she needs to clean herself up. It’s another gut punch. The last time she was in the bathroom she was trying not to cry. And before that, how many nights did she spend hoping that one day she would have a little privacy? Everything just feels wrong. She lets out a shaky breath and then shakes her head, pushing the feelings aside again. She gets out of the bathroom and pulls on her clothes, shuffling out to see Caitlyn sitting on the bed checking over her rifle. She goes pink and looks down but Vi shakes her head.
“It was smart you brought it,” she says. Caitlyn looks at her warily and Vi grabs her jacket, turning out the pockets. Money, a first aide kit and knife drop onto the bedspread, “we’re still in Zaun,” she points out.
Tension eases from Caitlyn’s shoulders as she pulls similar supplies from her pack. Together they have enough to get out of a decent amount of trouble. Something in Vi’s chest eases at the sight of it all. She looks at the supplies and Caitlyn nods towards them in permission. Vi quickly divides them into three piles, two for Caitlyn and one for herself. She wiggles the jacket in her hands to remind her that she has fewer places for everything. Caitlyn’s the practical one with her coveralls and gun bag. But then again, she always has been the practical one. Both of their clothes are always sewn through with clever pockets and her bags always have more room than they should. The only time Vi has ever seen her look truly impractical was that night of her debut. Vi knows she was miserable, it was a miserable night all around, but the way she looked is permanently burned into the back of her eyes. Even now when Caitlyn is sitting on the bed slipping supplies into her coveralls and gun bag, Vi can easily summon the gown and the way it glowed when the fire hit it. The way Caitlyn buried her face in the nape of her neck as she carried her back into her bedroom.
“We should get some sleep,” Caitlyn says, laying down her gun bag, “I’ll take this side if it’s alright with you.”
She nods towards the side closer to the door. Vi wants to object but she can feel the burning in her eyes and throat. She knows she’s got precious minutes before she becomes completely useless. Irrationally she wishes that Steb or Loris were here, even though Caitlyn has seen her cry more than them. Even though Caitlyn has never judged her for the times when she’s needed to lean on her. For the times she’s needed her protection. Instead Vi nods and climbs into the bed that was prepared for her. The pink covers and flannel sheets are warm against her skin, but she feels cold until Caitlyn slides in a moment later, wedging their backs together.
Vi tries to fight the burning her her eyes and the lump in her throat for a moment longer.
She’s home.
She’s home and she has Caitlyn with her.
This is all she wanted. She nearly got Cailtyn killed for wanting it. Vi swears it’s the feel of Caitlyn’s back against hers that loosens the knot in her throat. This has always been the place where it’s safe enough to cry. Even though it’s really not. Caitlyn is right, they do not know if they can trust everyone. They need to keep an eye on the door. Vi always thought that coming home would feel safe. That all the money and resources poured into Zaun would mean she could crowd down here with her siblings and no-one would have to worry. But her siblings have moved upstairs. If it wasn’t for Caitlyn she’d be alone in this room until they got hers all set up. It’s a kindness but it’s also another sign that things have moved on. She doesn’t even have the same name as her family. But she has Caitlyn wedged against her back. Even though she knows Caitlyn won’t say a word, she tries to swallow down the lump in her throat and steady her breathing. None of it works. She curls in on herself to try and muffle the noises. She can feel Caitlyn shift against her back.
“I’m just trying to fully recreate our first night,” she says, fighting for any kind of joke. Anything to keep from just outright bawling, “you know, just in case.”
“In case of what?”
“In case your mom forbids me from seeing you again for putting you in danger?” Her laugh comes out far too weak and wet to fool anyone.
Caitlyn shifts again and the space between them feels shockingly cold. For a moment Vi thinks she probably has managed to ruin everything with this stunt. But Caitlyn turns around and fits her body behind hers. She even brings her knees up so their entire bodies are touching. Everything in Vi goes still at the change in contact. They’ve broken so many rules today. Even if she’s forgiven for the lies and the danger, the rest of them—she has no idea what to do with the rest of them. Except pray they’re not found out. But that’s easier said then done when Caitlyn’s body fits behind hers and her arms wrap around her. It’s a line neither of them has managed to cross. Like the bathroom door. But suddenly Caitlyn is jumping across them left and right. Caitlyn who is so painfully careful when it comes to the rules, who gives everything to being the best she can be—yet she’s breaking them left and right for the chance that it will help Vi. Maybe it’s guilt, maybe it’s something else, Vi doesn’t know. At the moment she doesn’t care. This place is supposed to be the home she longed for, not a reminder that she’s a stranger here. That longed for home is nothing more than a memory. Nothing feels like home here.
Nothing except Caitlyn.
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