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The morning peeked curiously through the curtains, casting a weak ray of sun on the sleeping men. Charlie slowly pried one eye open and noticed that the morning had brought with it a winter chill.
They were still naked after last night's activities, so the cold felt extra sharp. Charlie wriggled his bum and back more closely to the human stove lying next to him and immediately a strong, freckled arm enveloped him. They took their time to wake up together; entangling their fingers, fidgeting with their toes, stretching muscles, and lazily they finally felt ready to face the day.
Nick batted away the duvet, seemingly unaffected by the cold. Charlie immediately rolled to the place where the ghost of Nick’s warmth still lingered and the dent his body had formed was still imprinted in the mattress. Nick threw on a shirt and his boxer briefs and then laid Charlie’s pants, a pair of joggers, a jumper, and his oversized snuggle hoodie on the bed so Charlie could avoid the cold as long as possible. Nick being out of bed, and therefore Charlie losing his human heater, was already an agony and his boyfriend knew that.
Nick exited the bedroom to put the kettle and the heating on. They were looking forward to a quiet Sunday in their cozy flat without any obligations. They had planned it meticulously, as it had been ages since they had the day entirely for themselves. Nick would make an elaborate breakfast, and then they would be reading, gaming, watching a movie, cuddling, and maybe some more bedroom activity.
Charlie joined Nick in the kitchen where he, as predicted, had started making breakfast. He was rolling dough for some sweet pastry thingies and had already cut different kinds of fruit for a smoothie. Charlie made them both a cuppa, put Nick’s cup with the “N” next to him and took the one with the “C” to the table. He crawled onto the chair with his feet on the seat, so he could put his hoodie over his legs to preserve the bedheat. He sipped at the tea and looked at his fit love preparing their breakfast; a wave of belonging washed over him.
Nick turned around to him and opened his mouth to ask something, but then closed it and opened it again without words emerging. A frown and an alarming look appeared on his face. He pointedly gestured towards the living room in the direction of the elves. Charlie put his feet back on the ground and turned to follow Nick’s gaze. He gasped as he saw the red and green doll on the shelf; they were holding a baby swaddled in a soft blanket and were obviously very pleased with it.
“Err… that can’t be real, right? I’m sure that what happened last night can’t lead to us having babies,” Nick said rather confused.
Charlie had stood up and was now next to Nick. He rubbed his face and replied, “Maybe we entered some parallel omegaverse yesterday without us knowing?” Nick watched Charlie intensely. “What? We also have elves on a shelf interfering with our lives a month a year.” Charlie shrugged.
Nick shook his head. “No, I would like to think that I would have remembered either one of us actually knotting the other.”
“That’s fair,” Charlie answered, pinching one eye. They kept staring at the elves but the baby did not miraculously disappear, so Charlie tugged on Nick’s shirt to get him out of his reverie and they returned to their breakfast. Nick finished preparing everything, and after he put the pastry in the oven, they just sat at the table, both lost in thought.
Charlie was the first to speak again. “Is there anybody who would want us to babysit?” He saw Nick’s mind was reeling.
“I don’t know anybody with babies,” Nick said pensively. “My cousins are not babies anymore, none of our friends have babies, we didn’t enlist at a babysitting center… or did you?” Charlie just shook his head.
“Oh!” Nick exclaimed, “Are we sure it’s a baby ? Maybe it is a puppy or a kitten… We are going to have a puppy!” He shoved his chair abruptly backwards and with his own golden retriever energy he rushed towards the elves to have a closer look. After a careful examination he slumped back on his chair, looking defeated. “No, definitely a human baby, or rather an elf baby, but can I ask for a puppy for Christmas?”
Charlie stood up to hug his sappy human and kissed him deeply. He wasn’t going to answer that question. Any answer would set things in motion he wasn’t ready for and would ruin their day together. Luckily the kitchen timer helped to divert the attention even further from baby animals.
They took the pastry to the sofa so they could set up a game of Mario Kart. The delicious treat was perfect and Charlie closed his eyes as he let the warm sugar bomb slowly explode on his tongue. Nick could win all next year’s Mario Kart tournaments if he kept on baking like this. He opened his eyes and, instead of winning, he saw Nick glancing at the elves. Charlie wanted to ask him why he still had his focus on them but they were both suddenly startled as Nick’s phone rang. As soon as he saw his mum’s name and a picture of Nellie pop up, he eagerly answered the video call.
“Hi, Nicky. How are you, dear? Is Charlie there with you?” Nick tilted the phone so they were both in the frame. “Hi, Charlie. Hope everythings alright.”
After some small talk about their lives and pursuits, Charlie felt they had spent enough time on the phone. He loved Sarah but he craved the scheduled alone time with his sweetie-pie, so he decided to round up the call. However, Sarah was not done yet.
“I can’t hang up until you hear the great news!” Nick and Charlie looked at each other questionably. “You know Aruna, the daughter of Mr Kumar from number 87? She has had a baby.” Sarah kept talking about the newborn but Nick and Charlie both jerked their heads towards the elves whilst the men silently communicated with each other. Nick was anxiously tapping with his feet and his arms waved wildly. Charlie had taken over the phone and made sure Nick was not visible, but Nick had other plans. He took the phone from Charlie and almost screamed, “Does she need us to babysit?”
Sarah looked into the camera with an incomprehensible stare. “Babysit? The child is a day old. What made you think I was asking you to babysit? Is there perhaps anything you want to share?”
Nick shook his head quickly. “No, mum. Just had a short night. We obviously aren’t fully awake. Congratulate Mr Kumar from the both of us. I think we’d better take a little nap now.”
Sarah was still a bit confused but decided against further inquiries. She hung up the phone with an invite for a family dinner soon. They were sure this conversation wouldn’t be forgotten by then.
Charlie groaned and Nick slapped his hands to his face and mumbled, “Why are we like this?” After a short break he continued, “Although we aren’t the ones who create chaos, they are.” He aimed with his thumb at the shelf where the two elves still looked very content with their baby.
Charlie elbowed Nick in his side to get his attention. “Darling, we are going to ignore those little fuckers. Shall I put on some music? I’ll get my book and you can savour all the updates on your Marvel fanfic.”
Nick grinned, immediately opened his phone and his 100+ open tabs, and dug in. Charlie cuddled against him soon after and they enjoyed being back to their time. Charlie loved how expressive Nick was whilst reading; the little laughs, the ohs and ahs, the lip bites, and the wiggling of his legs if he got really enthusiastic. Those were the times Nick's eyes twinkled and he wanted to read passages aloud. He had just commenced to read the end of a fic, but unfortunately that reading time was cut short as someone knocked on the front door. Nick dragged himself up and towards the door. Charlie blew him kisses which Nick caught and slapped them on his cheek. Charlie rolled his eyes fondly.
The moment Nick opened the door he leapt backwards. “Char… there’s a basket… a wicker basket, like a baby basket.” He almost whispered the last words. Charlie’s head went into overdrive, his chest felt too tight. With the utmost care, he shuffled in Nick’s direction, desperately calling upon all deities to not let them become parents right there and then. He was ever so slowly leaning forward to try to take a peek at the contents as a delivery person came running around the corner of the hallway. They snagged the basket and almost ran off as they noticed the two dumbfounded men.
“So sorry, this is a gift basket for the upstairs neighbours. I made a mistake with the floors.” With that they swiftly disappeared.
Nick and Charlie clutched each other, then dissolved in a fit of giggles. “Okay, love,” Charlie said, “let’s go back to reading. And we are going to ignore the rest of the world now.” Nick picked Charlie up, threw him over his shoulder and let him fall onto the sofa, before falling on top of him, starting a tickle war.
“Oi, you giant rugby oaf! Get off me!” Charlie tried to wiggle out of the deadly grip of those strong arms. But as that didn’t work, he changed tactics and started to kiss Nick. Soon the ticklish claws changed to delicately stroking fingers. Charlie melted into the caress and everything around them faded away.
They must have dozed off and were thrown back to the present as both their phones started buzzing. “No.” Charlie swatted away Nick’s hand as he reached for the phone, “Remember: no outside world today.” But he knew his lover wouldn’t be able to withstand the pressure of taking a quick look at who could possibly need them. And indeed he did. Nick frowned as he looked at the text then angled his phone to Charlie who had chosen to ignore the sound.
Darcy😈: I don’t know where you are, but I need you all at the community centre NOW.
Charlie saw that Tao was typing.
Tao🎥: I’m not going to contribute to another one of your pranks.
Charlie looked at Nick and tried to assess his reaction. Knowing him he would probably want to go, even if there was only the slightest chance Darce actually needed help. But then a voice note popped up. Nick played it:
“I’m not fucking with you! I fucked up massively with the community winter fair. I need you. My boss lady is not amused. Tara is already here, trying to save my sorry ass. Please come!”
Their voice was dripping with trepidation and the panic in the message was palpable.
Almost immediately four messages told them they were on their way.
After they got dressed quickly, Nick and Charlie ran out of the building. The community centre was only a few blocks away, so they would be fastest by foot. They all occasionally helped out there, but Darcy was there every Saturday for the “Better Safe Here Than Sorry Anywhere Else” support group. They provided shelter for all teens who needed a place to feel safe and protected. There were a lot of LGBTQIA+ers, but also people with unsafe home situations. Darcy was amazing with those kids and they adored them. The only one that didn’t adore Darcy was said boss lady. She wanted things structured and organised, most preferably scheduled at least two months in advance, and those weren’t traits Darcy excelled in.
“Did Darcy mention the winter fair? I don’t recall that,” Charlie asked as they were legging towards them.
“Err… I think them forgetting about it might be the main part of the problem here,” Nick answered tentatively whilst they rounded the corner to the street where the centre was located. They saw Tao and Elle running at the other end of the street. They arrived at the same time. It was obvious that there was a winter fair ready to get started soon. There were signs outside in green and red trying to lure people in and the whole facade was decorated with fake snow, icicles, and little elves. The door was still locked, but Darcy was clearly waiting for them as the door flew open and they practically dragged them in.
“Thank you so much. I owe you one,” Darcy gestured to them to speed up and move forward to the main hall and in the meantime they started to ramble: “So, when the tasks were handed out for this fair, I signed up to do decorations and me and the group spent the last several weeks creating all kinds of things. It was great, but I might have forgotten that I also got assigned to organise the living nativity scene. I told Bossy I didn’t like it as it only showed the Christian tradition and then I sort of forgot…” With a toothy grin, they looked at the others. “But she didn’t, so just now she came running to me furiously to ask where the stable was and that my job here was at risk if I kept disobeying her orders.” They made quotation marks in the air as they said disobeying. “So you are going to be in there. If nothing else, it will be inclusive.”
They had reached the spot where the stall was being built by Tara and a couple of teens.
Tara was already wearing some kind of dress with a cape made from the lesbian pride flag, and a tiara.
Darcy rummaged through a pile of clothes, flags and cloaks. They handed Elle another dress, tiara, and the trans flag. “You and Tara are going to be the queens visiting baby Jesus.” Elle laughed, took the clothes and walked to the toilets to get changed.
Nick and Charlie were each handed a cloak. “You are Joseph and Mark, baby Jesus' parents. You can use the smaller bi and gay flags as scarves.” Nick and Charlie nodded and threw on the clothes, a big smile on their faces. Playing Joseph and Mark was not exactly in their off-the-grid day plans, but this was going to be a cheerful afternoon.
Darcy turned to Tao. “And you, my friend, will be the unicorn the stable belongs to.”
Tao started to protest but Elle, who had returned, shushed him and told him to stop acting like a child, and that they were there to make sure Darcy would still work here after today. She snatched the unicorn costume out of Darcy’s hands and gave it to Tao who studied the onesie, the disgust almost dripping off of his face.
“Darcy Olsson! I will never be able to fit into this. What size is it? ‘Tiny human, barely reaching my belly button’ size?”
Elle gently laid her hand on his shoulder and guided him to the toilets.
Nick and Charlie, dressed and ready to embrace their roles, stepped into the makeshift stall where they were waited upon by baby Jesus. Charlie was the first to dissolve in laughter, gripping Nick to keep upright, but he wasn’t doing any better.
“Darc…” Charlie tried to catch his breath so he could utter something coherent, “since when is baby Jesus an extraterrestrial?”
In the crib was an ET doll, wrapped in a cloth, with an elf’s hat adorning his giant head.
“Argg… that was the only baby format doll I could find and with…” They looked at their watch, “eight minutes to spare, I don’t think we can be picky. Just stand there and look fondly at the newborn.”
Nick and Charlie glanced at the crib and immediately laughter bubbled up again.
They decided to just engage in a conversation with the queens instead of focusing on their “child”.
At that moment Tao entered the scene. Even Tara, always considerate, snorted audibly, and the rest also couldn’t keep their composure; in front of them stood Tao in the onesie. The legs barely reached below his knees and the sleeves only covered his upper arms. His disgruntled face was underneath the hood with two big sparkly eyes and a rainbow coloured, glittery horn.
“You’re gonna pay for this, Darc. Expect a strongly worded DM when this is over.” He sank down in the stall behind the crib in a cross legged stance.
However, there was no time for musing as the first people came trickling in. If nothing else, the scene provided a lot of joy. The kids especially loved Tao and there were a lot of pictures taken of the grumpy unicorn whose unhappy face was a huge contrast with his happy suit. Some older folks looked into the crib and recognised one of their childhood idols and immediately stretched out their index finger to whoever they had come with, or to Nick and Charlie, who enthusiastically returned the gesture. Meanwhile, the queens were applauded for the original presents they were bringing to baby Jesus, most of those collected from a box of props Darcy had left behind; among others, the crib was surrounded by an inflatable swim ring, a ukulele, and a pair of high heeled, purple boots.
The fun was over the moment Boss Lady arrived on the scene; her face spoke volumes. She waited for a few admirers to move on and then she hissed, “What sorry excuse for a nativity scene is this? Where’s Darcy? Did they seriously think this is appropriate? Mocking the Christian traditions.”
Tao, apparently unimpressed by the woman, shrugged. “People seem to like it, and isn’t that what Christmas is also about, spreading joy?” He eyed her piercingly.
Then she saw extraterrestrial baby Jesus. “And what on earth is that?!” She had managed to keep her voice down before, but that ship had clearly sailed. Charlie was biting the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from giggling, he saw Elle had turned to similar methods as she was digging her nails into her hand.
They all got distracted as a bright, sparkling laugh filled the room; behind Boss Lady stood Marga, the social worker affiliated with the community centre. She was the most warmhearted, considerate, and kind person anybody could wish for. She was on maternity leave, so they hadn’t seen her for a while, but they should have known she would be here to support everybody. She stood behind a stroller and walked closer to look into the crib. Nick immediately slipped out of character and cooed over the baby. Charlie melted on the spot and his whole body buzzed as he saw his boyfriend totally entranced by the little human. Charlie wrapped his arm around Nick’s shoulders and laid his head against his biceps whilst they admired the wonderful, tiny creature. From the corner of his eyes, Charlie saw Boss Lady shaking her head as she left the room.
“Yeah, I’m afraid that is far from the baby Jesus I pictured.” Marga’s voice got them out of the spell the baby had cast upon them all. “We can do better than that.” Decisively, she took ET out of the crib and hid him behind the stall. She picked up a rainbow flag out of the pile that Darcy had left there, carefully lifted her infant out of the stroller, and wrapped them into the flag. She looked proudly at the bundle, and the little human made the most adorable, hiccupy laugh. Marga turned around and laid the baby gingerly in Nick’s arms. Nick’s shoulders tensed, but Charlie saw Nick’s face soften with a quiet smile. She winked at Charlie. “Now I have some great babysitters, so I can stroll the fair, and you have a proper baby Jesus.”
Nick started to stammer, suddenly awkward and anxious, “But… we’re not… I mean… we can’t…”
“Sure you can,” Tara said, “you two will be the most adorable Joseph and Mark ever.”
Charlie felt Nick’s shoulders relax and he searched Charlie’s eyes for some extra encouragement. Charlie nodded almost imperceptibly and led Nick back into the stall; a warm wave flooded his heart as he cuddled into Nick’s side, one arm wrapped around Nick’s waist, the other one he entangled around the arms that held the baby.
The nativity scene was a huge success, and even Tao took his turn cuddling with the baby, not an ounce of grumpiness left.
When Marga returned, the baby was soundly asleep in Nick’s arms. He handed the little bundle to her and Marga laid them back into the stroller. Then she pulled something out of her bag.
"Look, what I've bought!"
Nick and Charlie immediately turned to each other, a glimpse of recognition covering their faces as a red and green elf’s hat attached to two elves appeared from the tote. Charlie winked at Nick who pulled him into a bear hug. Charlie nuzzled into the crook of his neck and whispered softly in his ear, “Maybe a puppy isn’t such a bad idea.”