Match in the Field

by chalk

Summary:

Jules’s mother still thinks she’s in love with Jess, but that’s impossible. She wouldn’t be in love with–

Oh no.

Notes:

• For serve_cunt.

“Mum, Jess and I are going down to the pub after practice,” Jules called out in a half-trot down the stairs.

Paula Paxton’s heels clacked loudly as she hurried to meet her at the base of the stairs. They matched the bright blue dress she wore, the same color as the spring sky. She and Jules were apples and oranges, but she was a good mother. She always tried her best, even if her best was sometimes hard to watch. “With Jesminder, was it?”

Her eyes were wide, and the light dulled in them for a moment before she caught herself and resummoned her most supportive smile. The first few times this happened, Jules screeched because she and Jess were just friends. It wasn’t like that. But even now, her mother still didn’t believe her.

“We’re just having a pint,” she said. “Maybe some chips. I’ll just be a little late is all.”

“Sure, sweetheart,” she said cheerfully. “Of course. I’ll just wrap your dinner up in case you get hungry later.”

Paula gave her a thin smile, her eyes crinkling in that way. For most of Jules’s life, she would have rolled her eyes or scoffed, but this time she felt an uneasiness blooming in her chest. It followed her out the door, and by the time she made it to the changing room, it had settled in her stomach like a thick piece of lead.

It was nothing. Her mother was a silly woman, she always had been.

 

Jess set her things on the bench in front of her while Jules switched into her uniform. When she pulled the shirt over her head, she emerged to find Jess beaming at her, and all the words coming out of Jess’s mouth blurred into something far away and unreal.

She was telling her something about her mum and sister, something they did this morning that had caused a ruckus in the neighborhood, but Jules couldn’t follow any of it. All she saw was Jess’s exasperated smile and the light in her eyes that betrayed any opinion about herself she might have had that she didn’t at least enjoy the drama a little bit, as long as it didn’t concern her.

She was a shining star. Jules knew it the first time she saw her playing that day in the park, but it wasn’t just when she played, Jules soon realized. It was when she talked, when she laughed, when she danced, when she complained. Jules never had a problem paying attention, but there she was, blinding herself.

 

Practice went as it always did. They did their stretches and ran their laps together. They did their sit ups and were paired up for every drill and scrimmage, just as always. She wasn’t sure how it happened, but at some point Jess became permanently ingrained in this piece of her life she’d always had and would continue to have long after they went their separate ways.

But they weren’t going their separate ways. They were going to be picked up for the same team. That was the plan, wasn’t it? They were an ideal pair on the field, anyone could see it. Any scout worth their salt, for sure.

That was why her mum was confused, was all. She didn’t play, so she didn’t understand the dynamic. That was it. And there were loads of things Jules’s mother didn’t understand, so there was no reason this one specific instance should bother her as much as it did. As long as she and Jess knew where they stood, that was all that mattered.

 

They went to the pub together as planned for a couple of pints and some chips to split between them. They probably could’ve both used something more substantial after practice, but they had dinner waiting for them at their respective homes and mothers expecting them.

Across the room, two men got into an argument over– Jules couldn’t actually make it out from this far away, but it seemed to involve the man in green’s wife, the man in blue, and someone else’s mother.

Jess watched, fascinated. Jules watched her.

She never noticed before how animated Jess was. She had no poker face whatsoever, and her heart was so brazenly stitched onto her sleeve that anyone who missed it had to have been going out of their way to not pay attention. She watched the argument so intensely that Jules could see it playing out on Jess’s face without having to look. Every twist of disgust, every scowl of disapproval, every wave of shock. She was a silent commentator, and Jules couldn’t look away.

The unfairness of it, really, was that even as the muscles in her face unknowingly acted out the scene in front of them, she never once managed to look ugly. Not that that would’ve mattered, of course, but it was still impressive.

Jess gave her a conspiratorial glance, and Jules looked back at the men, who she was supposed to be watching, just before the man in green swung at the man in blue, missed, and then took the hat off of the man in red. The man in red jumped up just as three staff members charged forward to break them up, and after a moment of some loud shoving, the group was gone, taking the excitement with them.

“I can’t believe that,” Jess said. “He shagged that other guy’s mother.”

Jules nodded like she had a clue what they were fighting about. “Absolutely unbelievable.”

“Right,” she agreed. “Listen, before I forget. My mum was wondering if you’d like to come by for dinner sometime. She thinks you don’t eat properly because you’re a footballer, whatever that means.”

Jules pulled apart one of the chips to release the steam trapped inside. “She knows you are too, right?”

“Yeah, but I live with her,” Jess said. “It’s different.”

“You ever think about moving out and getting your own place?” Jules asked before popping one of the halves into her mouth.

“Oh, sure, like that’ll happen,” she said with a look that suggested it would’ve been easier to convince the moon to turn purple. Her parents allowing her to play was enough of a miracle as it was. Asking for more risked losing what little give she already had. “You live with your parents too.”

“Yeah, I was just thinking. We’re both getting older, and our bedrooms are getting smaller.”

Jess ate a chip. “What, you need the extra storage?”

Jules paled. What had her line of thinking been anyway? That they needed more space? For what? At home, she had everything she needed and could focus on playing and winning with a promise to herself to become so successful she could have three houses if she wanted them.

“I’m just saying, if you ever decided you needed to get out and stretch your legs a bit, they would probably be more likely to say yes if it was, say, with me and not off on your own.”

Jess laughed. “My mother would still have a fit. She’d think it was just an excuse for us to bring boys home.”

“You?!” Jules asked, outraged on her behalf. “Now that’s a laugh.”

“Oh, what, like I couldn’t if I wanted to?” Jess challenged.

“Jess, you could have anyone in the world you wanted. We both know that. But the point is you don’t want. Anyone who knows you can see that.”

Jess looked at her quietly like she wanted to say something, but she reached for her pint instead. Jules found herself at an immediate loss for words.

“It’s not a bad thought,” Jess said. “She’d still say no, but.”

“No, sure,” Jules said. “Just thinking out loud, I suppose. Don’t mind it. So, dinner at your place then sometime?”

“Yeah, err, maybe tomorrow? Since we don’t have practice, you could come by early, if you wanted to.”

“Will I be lending your mum a hand in the kitchen?” Jules asked, amused.

“I can’t decide if she would hate that or be thrilled that you’d want to.”

Jules laughed. “I’m rubbish, but I’m happy to learn.”

Jess smiled at her then, almost radiant even in the dingy pug. “You’d probably get on more with my dad, if he’s home.”

“Oh, yeah, your dad’s great,” she said.

“You think so?” Jess asked. Jules nodded. “I like your mum. I know she’s a lot, but she’s a really nice lady. And it’s been so nice to see her at our matches. She cheers so hard for you.”

Something deep within Jules warmed, so she immediately pressed it back down. “Speaking of, if my mum finds out I had dinner at your place, she’s going to get jealous and make you come back to mine.”

Jess smiled at her. “That would be alright.”

And Jules found in that moment that nothing would’ve made her happier.

 

They parted ways at the end of the evening to go to their respective homes. Jules had dinner waiting for her, but she was surprised to find that she wasn’t hungry.

She felt full from her head to her toes. It was an odd feeling, warm and yet at the same time, too chilling to ever really relax. It made her want to bundle up in bed and stay there for days, and then with the most treacherous blink of an eye, she saw Jess bundled up with her, grinning with a blanket over her head like they were just two silly girls at a sleepover.

She stopped and put a hand over chest as a shard of ice lodged itself right next to where her heart was. The burning thawed it immediately.

What if her mother was right? What if she was in love with her?

That couldn’t be right. Jess was her partner and her friend. Yes, she was beautiful and one of the best players in the world, but that just meant anyone would have been a little taken with her. That wasn’t exclusive to her and it didn’t mean she had feelings.

But what if it did?

She looked behind her in the direction she came, knowing she wouldn’t see Jess but also knowing the exact route she would have followed to get home.

The only thing worse than having to deal with this was having to admit that for once her mother was right about something, but she was not going to do that until she was absolutely sure.

Jules ran as fast as she could, but she didn’t go home.

When she saw Jess, the answer was so obvious all she could do was swear.

Now what?