Chapter Text
After discussing his decision to move to El Paso with Bobby, he’d gotten a very stern lecture about taking the advice of a ‘hotshot’ actor who knew nothing about Eddie’s life. Bobby had convinced him to just take a leave of absence and simply rent a place in El Paso until the situation became more clear and, honestly, Eddie had let out a sigh of relief. He didn’t want to exist in El Paso permanently, he just wanted to be wherever his son was.
The news that Eddie was no longer hunting for a house, and now a rental had significantly bolstered the mood in both the firehouse and Eddie’s house. Buck helped him determine essentials that needed to be packed and things that could stay and it seemed to put an extra pep in Buck’s step.
Eventually, it was time for Eddie to leave and both of them refused to say goodbye.
“I’ll call you when I hit Arizona?”
“Or earlier if you get bored. I’m not on shift today, so I was just planning on doing some cleaning.” Eddie knew that was a lie because Buck always did his cleaning the day before his next group of shifts and he wasn’t back on for another three days, but he accepted the lie.
Buck and Eddie called at least once a day, if not more, and the constant stream of text messages detailed every occurrence. Sometimes it was just small facts from Buck’s deep dives during a slow stretch of his shift, sometimes it was a link to a recipe with the caption ‘think chris wud like this?’ and other times Eddie would type out long rants about his parents before deleting the text and just asking if Buck had time to call.
It was a couple weeks since he had arrived in El Paso when Buck finally mentioned Eddie’s replacement.
“It’s just so frustrating, they come in here like they’re God’s gift to firefighting and it’s just annoying. Plus, he’s always using the gym equipment I want to use too.”
It sounds painfully familiar to Eddie and it sends a squirming ache through his gut.
“I’m sure Bobby picked them for a reason.”
“Yeah yeah, that’s what Hen and Chim said.” Eddie huffed a laugh, picturing the pout on Buck’s mouth and the way he would tuck his head down into his chest. A moment of silence before Buck spoke again. “Bobby said his last station called the guy Popeye. His arms are like tree trunks. Pretty sure he could bench me if he wanted to, but I wasn’t counting the weights on the bar because I was pissed.” That squirming feeling intensified, the fire licking at his stomach.
“Anyways, did you go to Chris’ chess tournament today? How’d he do?!” The conversation turned to Chris and his rousing success in the chess tournament and how Eddie had gotten a smile out of him.
“That’s great, Eds! I told you it was a good decision. Forward momentum.”
The next phone call was only a couple days after the first.
“We were on our way back from a structural, and Sanchez mentioned their kid. Holy shit, Eds. If I didn’t know Jee… she was just so cute! Little blonde pigtails and everything. She and Jee are about the same age, I think Brynn is a little younger, but I’m thinking of asking Devin if she and Jee could have a playdate. I think I might die of cuteness.”
A kid with cute blonde curls. Buck loves kids.
“That sounds like a good plan. What are your plans for the next 48 off?” Eddie asks, trying to steer away from conversations that make him want to throw his phone.
“I think I’m actually going to take Sanchez up on the offer to join them on a hike. They haven’t been since they got in from Seattle and so I figured I would take them on that trail that we took Chris that one time? Apparently Brynn likes to come along. They’ve got a backpack carrier for her for if she gets too tired. God, Eddie she had to hang out at the station for a bit the other day because there was a babysitter issue. She’s so freaking cute. Maddie was off and I asked her if Jee was up for a playdate and so Mads came and picked up Brynn so Sanchez wouldn’t have to fight with the hell of babysitters. We got lots of pictures of Brynn and Jee watching the new Moana and God, Eddie, I’ll have to send you the video of them singing together.”
Eddie began thinking about how much money it would cost to buy a new phone if throwing it against the wall destroyed his current one.
“Sounds like you and the new guy are getting along pretty well.” Buck’s huffy exhale sounded like a smile.
“Yeah yeah, you guys were right. He’s really competent and nice and we have a lot in common. But he was acting like a total jerk! I get that he’s been a firefighter up in Seattle for a while and he’s seen some crazy stuff, but we’ve seen crazy stuff here too. But some of the stuff he was telling me about? He told me the other day about a time they brought two people into the ER shish-kabobed together with a thing of rebar! Chimney was all upset all day, mumbling shit about being upstaged. Hen had to placate him by reassuring him that having a bar through your skull is much crazier. Dunno if I agree with her, but he was less mopey afterwards.”
Eddie started zoning out as Buck started talking about more and more of this dick Devin Sanchez’ fancy Seattle rescues and how cool his kid was. He knew one way he could get Buck back on a more palatable line of discussion.
“He sounds really cool, Buck. Hey, I forgot to tell you, Chris agreed to go out to breakfast with me tomorrow. Asked specifically for a good pancake place, so I’ve got to do some research.”
Eddie knew that was a bit of a low blow, because he knew Buck inside and out.
“Oh, I’ll start looking at some Yelp reviews. How far out do you want to travel? What did you want for breakfast, just the Western omelet, right? I’ll look for reviews for both and maybe we can find a kick-ass place that has chocolate-chip-strawberry pancakes.”
Eddie smiled, dropping his head off the back of the shitty couch in his AirBnB, an involuntary smile pulling his cheeks up to the point of pain.
“Thanks, Buck.”
“Of course! Can’t have my Diazes eating a shitty breakfast. Especially if Chris has agreed to talk to you. It has to be perfect!.”
Eddie’s entire being stiffened, his mind repeating the phrase over and over again.
My Diazes. My Diazes. His Diazes, Buck’s Diazes.
Eddie had tried to call Buck after the breakfast with Chris. It had gone really well and they’d had some really good conversation. At the end, when Eddie had mentioned Buck went on a hike with another firefighter from work and his kid, Chris frowned and said something that made Eddie’s heart skip several beats. Maybe he should revisit that cardiologist?
“When I come back to LA, I want to go hiking with Buck again.” Eddie had to swallow several times before he felt like he could respond.
“Of course, mijo. I’m sure Buck would love that.”
So Eddie had been so excited to talk to Buck about it, share in the complete and utter joy he felt just to hear Chris say ‘when’ instead of ‘if’.
Eddie knew Buck was on shift, so the first time he didn’t answer the phone he assumed that they were just on a call. Several hours later, however, when his two calls and 3 texts had gone unreturned and unread, he started panicking, so he called Hen who picked up on the second ring.
“Hey, Eddie! Long time no speak! Karen told me all about the virtual wine night you two had the other day. You know how she gets, I had to bribe her to sleep with cookies.” Eddie chuckled, reassured that Hen had answered the phone because that meant that the whole team wasn’t stuck in an insane situation somewhere Buck could be in danger. Well, more danger than usual.
“Hey Hen. Is Buck okay? I tried to call him this morning after breakfast with Chris, but he didn’t pick up.”
“Ah, magical Babysitter Buck? He’s had his hands full all morning. Sanchez got a little banged up last night at a house fire so he and Buck were waiting at the hospital. I swear, these houses get less and less compliant with structural codes in these new builds. Fire Marshall Buck would be throwing a fit, hell firefighter Buck is having a problem with it too. But it does mean that he gets to hang out with that super sweet girl.”
“Brynn?”
“Of course Buck told you about her. I swear, if somebody doesn’t give that man a child soon…”
“Somebody already did.” Eddie doesn’t know what pushed him to say it, but the idea that Chris wasn’t Buck’s hurt something inside of him. But it was the truth, wasn’t it? Chris wasn’t Buck’s son, no matter how many times people asked if Buck was the biological father (especially now that Buck has let his curls out), no matter how many teachers asked Eddie if his husband was coming to parent-teacher conferences, no matter that Buck was in Eddie’s will to take care of his son should Eddie not be capable of doing so anymore, no matter that Buck has been the most constant fixture in his son’s life for the past 7 years, no matter that Buck has been in his son’s life for longer than his grandparents or his mother. But that could mean anything, right?
“Right, Eddie. Sorry, I just meant, you really ought to see him with this little girl.”
“So, he’s really getting along with them, huh?”
“Ha ha, now at least. You should have seen him the first couple days. Very territorial. They came in and had several years of experience and all of these crazy rescue stories from Seattle. I thought his lip was going to curl into that pout permanently. Kind of reminds me of those first few shifts with you, now that I come to think of it.”
And that was the entirely wrong thing to say, wasn’t it. Because Eddie knows how it turned out for him. Posturing and bratty Buck, who melted at a compliment and became Eddie’s right hand. They became BuckandEddie. At least until Eddie had ripped his life to shreds with one visit to a promenade. And now Buck was presented with an adorable little girl and a firefighter with arms the size of tree trunks apparently.
And the kid was always at the station, so there must not be a partner to cover the babysitting. Eddie knows how difficult it was to be a single father trying to figure out childcare. Chris was at the station once or twice until Eddie could figure out the gaps sometimes. At least until Buck introduced Carla. He wondered if Buck was going to offer Carla to this new guy.
Asking Hen about any of these things made him want to vomit though. He really didn’t want to know anything else about it, even if a part of him was dying for any scrap of information.
“Okay, so just have him call me when he gets a minute? I really wanted to thank him for the breakfast spot recommendation. It was really good.” He sounded pathetic even to his own ears, so he could only imagine the look of pity on Hen’s face.
“Of course I will, Eddie. Did you wanna talk about anything else?” It sounded like a pointed question and it made Eddie feel completely naked, even though he was 800 miles away and on a phone call.
“Nah, I’m good. Have a good shift. I miss you guys.” She chuckled.
“We miss you too, Eddie. All of us, I promise. Keep us in the loop on Chris. We’re all sending good vibes from LA.”
God, Eddie missed the 118.
“Thanks Hen. I’ll talk to you guys later.”
After hanging up the phone, Eddie opened Instagram simply because he was curious and, sure enough, there it was. The most recent post on Buck’s page was a picture of a firetruck, clearly drawn by a toddler and one that seemed to be drawn by a slightly older child, though Eddie knew it was just the way Buck drew firetrucks. The caption read ‘one of these days she’ll be in the MOMA and I can say I have an original’. Fuck if that didn’t make him want to cry.