Work Text:
Slow zoom out.
There’s a movie playing on the TV, one of the lesser known Kisage X films before he had found his signature brand. It’s an older recording, the screen every so slightly fuzzy. It’s an office high up in a skyscraper; the scene is daytime, but the ceiling lights are a cyan and the light screaming in from the outside is a light magenta. In steps a woman, tall with long legs and long nails and a long blade stripped to her thigh, hidden under her pencil skirt. (Now that’s what a woman should look like.) Her clothes and make up are all black and shades of gray, making her pop against the lights. She speaks, the camera zooming in on her lips until it’s the only thing visible, but her voice can not be heard. (The volume is too low, the tv remote has been lost for eons, and to get up and turn the nod manually would be too much work.) Subtitles scroll across the screen.
Mysterious Business Woman: Hello Mr. Oshima, I’m a representative of Golden Window Enterprises. As our correspondence has suggested, I believe our two corporations would benefit from a merger. I hope by requesting this meeting you plan to agree.
As she finishes speaking, she bites her lip, a white fang digging into his black lips. Holding back a smirk, and utterly gleeful look of anticipation.
The camera turns and the back of Mr. Oshima’s chair is shown. It appears like a dark obelisk in stark contrast to the magenta lights flowing in from the outside, a trail of smoke can be seen wafting out. Mr. Oshima turns ninety degrees, revealing half his face bathed in cyan, to eye a sharp eye on the mysterious woman. He is an older man, twice the age of the business woman, his face wrinkled with age and experience, his hair tastefully gray, an expensive cigar clutched between his front teeth. He smiles the way a primate shows their teeth in aggression.
Mr. Oshima: Why don’t you take a seat? It’s so distracting hanging you hover over the door.
She struts forward, taking long steps, making sure her heels click against the tile floor. The floor takes a low angle, focusing on how she moves, with the slight shimmy of her hips, like a prey animal with a wounded leg. Mr. Oshima has turned to face the camera properly and we get the first real look at his face through the mysterious business woman’s legs. The camera cuts to an overhead look of Mr. Oshima over her head, he holds the cigar in his hand and the smoke continues to flow upward, perfectly bisecting his face.
Cut; change angle; slow zoom in.
Alex is sitting on the green couch in the middle of the living room, she is wearing a pair of boxers, a half unbuttoned flannel, and a towel wrapped around her head so only her eyes are visible. She has just gotten out of the shower and she’s decided to put back on the same clothes she was wearing before; at least, most of them. Behind her, standing next to the stairs, is a black, muscular figure covered in eyes, with a camera for a head. As the camera zooms in, the figure is cut out of view, until only Alex can be seen. Alex shifts her legs into various positions, before finally deciding to hug her knees to her chest.
Cut; change angle.
The mysterious business woman is now half sitting in Mr. Oshima’s lap, their chests almost touching. They are both smiling far too much; the tension so thick it may suffocate them both before either makes a movie. Angle changes to a pov shot of the mysterious business woman through Mr. Oshima’s eyes, the smoke now bisects her face, one side magenta and the other cyan.
Mysterious Business Woman: Once we’ve combined our assets, I wouldn’t mind working this closely everyday.
Mr. Oshima: You sure know how to talk.
He grabs her by the hips, fingers just barely missing the blade’s handle.
Mr. Oshima: I like that. A woman who knows where she’s supposed to be. You might be the most valuable thing in that pathetic company owns.
Mysterious Business Woman: Don’t I know it.
Mr. Oshima grabs the papers off the desk and holds them up for her to sign, finalizing their deal. She makes a motion as if to reach into her pocket for a pen, instead she grabs the blade’s handle and draws it out. In a Mr. Oshima pov shot the blade is momentarily obscured by the smoke. She lunges with the blade and its tip rips through the back of his throat and strikes the chair.
Cut; angle change; arc shot.
Alex jumps, her heart leaping into her throat. She twists in her seat, squeezing her thighs together in vain. The faint sounds of grunting and struggling can be heard from the TV, as Mr. Oshima struggles and gasps and groans and the mysterious business woman keeps twisting and twisting. Alex is sweating; she rips the towel off her head so she can breathe. (She’s freshly shaven and her hair goes just past her chin, she hasn’t quite had the time to grow it out long.) She clutches the course material between her teeth to muffle a whimper.
She spread her legs, one propped up on the coffee table, the other propped up on the armrest. The music on the TV is intense, as though each instrument is fighting for attemption. The camera is sure to make visible every little twist and jab of the knife, and it pays extra attention to how the blood runs down the business woman’s arms, thick and warm. Alex slides her hand under the hem of her boxers. Mr. Oshima juts out with his cigar and presses it into the business woman’s cheek with a slow sizzle. Alex moans.
Mr. Oshima: (Strained; painful) You- you backstabbing wench!
(How is he speaking with his throat punctured? Oh shut up, it’s just a movie, you’re not supposed to think.)
Mysterious Business Woman: You were too easy, sir? All I have to do is sweet talk you and you let me walk right up.
She does not flinch, barely winces as the skin around the cigar blackens. Mr. Oshima’s hand trembles and the cigar tumbles until his floor as he loses strength. With a good yank, the mysterious business woman rips the blade out and leaves Mr. Oshima dead.
Mysterious Business Woman: You think I would settle for being next to the biggest fish in the pond? When I could be the entire blackened pond myself.
Alex pants and whines and grinds her teeth into the towel. A thin layer of perspiration covers her entire body. She’s overheating, and yet cool to the touch. Wrapped up in her head, she doesn’t quite notice The Essentia 2000 standing over her shoulder. The slight glance of a figure in the corner of her eye settles her out of her skin with a high pitched yelp.
Alex: Essentia!
The Essentia 2000: I apologize for startling you. I hadn’t realized you weren’t aware of my presence.
Alex is splayed out on the couch looking up at her, limbs stiff and outstretched like a cat ready to attack. Shame creeps in as Alex realizes her dick is hanging out for the world to see, and she just can’t scramble to cover it with the towel fast enough. Her entire face is redder than her hair.
Alex: I’m so sorry!
The Essentia cocks her head to the side.
The Essentia 2000: It was me who startled you. No need to apologize.
She squirms in place. In her head she’s sitting on a stool, up on a stage. She’s in her current outfit, and scattered around the stool is a pile of dirty clothes, a wet towel, and a discarded panda plush. It’s always been easier to process her thoughts via picturing how she’d explain them to someone else.
Alex: (On stage) I never quite knew where The Essentia went when I wasn’t around. While she was certainly free to come and go as she pleases, she doesn’t live with me. So I hadn’t taken her into consideration when I… (clears throat) wanted some alone time.
Alex: (On stage) She acts so casual. Did she not notice what I was doing? How would I explain myself to her? How could I even explain myself to myself?
The Essentia 2000: There’s no need for you to be embarrassed. Would you follow me to your bedroom?
Alex: Oh, uh, sure.
The second Essentia has her back turned, Alex rushes to fit her boxers. Following the Essentia up the stairs, she can’t help but feel like a kid following her mother to get told off in private. In her bedroom she drops her wet towel on the floor next to the others.
The Essentia 2000: Are you interested in sleeping with me?
Alex: (On stage) I’m so caught off guard I almost say something stupid like-
Alex: It’s only six.
The Essentia stiffens slightly. Alex has never heard her laugh, but she imagines if she could she would be laughing.
The Essentia 2000: I mean, are you interested in having sex? It may help strengthen our bond for when… (pause) If you have to enter soul space with me.
Alex: But- Essentia, we’ve only just met.
Alex: (On stage) She looks at me long and hard for several seconds. I can’t help but feel like I’m being deconstructed, the way you unscrew a pen and take all the pieces out. I want to cross my arms over my chest and hide, but there’s not really much there to hide.
The Essentia 2000: If it’s our familiarity that bothers you, I have known you across thousands of lives. While it may be different here, in many of those lives sex is seen as casual as hugging a friend. It’s by no means a sacred act.
Alex: Really? I mean you’re really cool with all that.
The Essentia 2000: Believe me, I would not have propositioned you if I were not interested. Allow me to take the lead.
She takes a step closer to Alex, casting a shadow over her. In one movement, she’s lifted Alex off the ground and has her cradled in her arms. Alex can’t up the frightened whimper that escapes her. She hugs all of her limbs to her chest, momentarily forgetting just how strong the Essentia is. The Essentia turns around and deposits Alex onto her bed. On instinct, Alex’s hands shoot out to grab the panda plush next to the pillow, unsure if she needs something to ground herself, or if she wants to tuck it out of view.
Panda: Don’t look at me like that, you’re the one who looks like a bear.
Alex: (On stage) It’s not as though I’m… inexperienced. I slept around in college just the same as anyone, a few one night stands here and there. Of course, any amount of experience I have pales in comparison to whatever the Essentia 2000 knows.
Alex: Does that dress… come off?
Alex: (On stage) Save for the occasional extra layer, I’ve never seen the Essentia in anything different. I mean, what use would an android have for anything else?
The Essentia 2000: It does, though I wouldn’t mind some help.
Alex: (On stage) She turns her back to me, showing off a zipper I never noticed before. Even though I’ve been given permission, I’m hesitant to touch her too much. As though my twitchy figures will tear the dress and ruin it beyond repair.
The Essentia 2000: Thank you, Alex.
She turns to face her, letting the long garment fall down her shoulders and down her thin hips. Between her chest and stomach her wires are visible. Alex is tempted to stick her finger between the slits, just to see what would happen. Despite the fact that the Essentia has nothing much to show up, Alex still leans back, entire body hot with anticipation.
Alex: So, how are we doing this? No offense, but you don’t really uh… have many holes.
The Essentia 2000: While my robotic body has no physiological need for sex, I am highly customizable to fit the needs of my many lives.
Alex: (On stage) She reaches down and I can’t help but think of those scenes in movies where girls shimmy out of their pants and underwear. Except the Essentia’s hands stop on the plate covering her pelvic area.
Alex: (On stage) With two satisfying clips, she digs her thumbs into a set of unseen switches and pulls the plate off. There’s a set of dials down there. To demonstrate, she turns one which opens up a hole. And the other controls the size of a penis.
Alex: (On stage) She wasn’t kidding about… highly customizable.
The Essentia 2000: Do you have any preference?
Alex: Oh. No, just, whatever makes you feel the best.
The Essentia 2000: Very well then. Why don’t you lay back with your head facing me.
With some maneuvering, the Essentia gets Alex onto her back, her head dangling over the edge of the bed. Alex places the panda on her chest and crosses her arms over it. The Essentia stands over her; Alex lets out a strangled sound as the Essentia rests her cock on her face.
The Essentia 2000: Have you performed fellatio before?
She swallows.
Alex: Once.
Alex: (On stage) Five years ago, in the back of someone's truck.
Alex: (On stage) I don't even remember his name.
The Essentia 2000: Just open your mouth and try to breathe through your nose.
Panda: You’re really giving into the faggot lifestyle here.
Panda: Or what you’re a dyke now? That’s not even one of the fun words.
She rests her hand on Alex’s lower jaw, coaxing it open. Alex squeezes her eyes shut and digs her heels into the bedding. Unable to physically get away, Alex retreats into her head as she so often does.
Alex: (On stage) Even though the Essentia is the one on top of me, so to speak, I can’t help but feel like I’m… taking advantage of her somehow. She says sex isn’t sacred, but isn’t she sacred?
The Essentia thrusts into her mouth. Digging her nails into the panda’s soft fabric, Alex takes it.
Alex: (On stage) I mean, Essentia… She could be a Goddess, and what am I? I’m just a traveler in the desert, tossing my golden earrings into the melting pot.
The Essentia 2000: Not too rough?
Alex: Emph!
Alex: (On stage) I can’t help but focus on just how smooth the Essentia’s… well, skin may not be the right word. How smooth her plating is. With my head between her legs, I can see the seams where her thighs attach to the rest of her.
Alex: (On stage) Her wires twist around each other, never getting in each other’s way. Everything is exactly where it should be, all of the pieces working together to work this beautiful machine. It’s hypnotic.
Alex: (On stage) I wonder, if you tore me open, if I would look that beautiful.
Alex gags hard, drooling out of the corners of her lips. The Essentia pulls out, a line of spit still connecting them together. Swallowing, Alex wipes her face and sits up. The tips of her ears blend in with her hair.
Alex: (Hoarse) What now?
The Essentia 2000: Now you undress.
Alex’s hands go to her flannel buttons and stay there.
Alex: Can I… keep my shirt on?
Aex: (On stage) After shaving my face I skipped out on shaving the rest of my body. I doubt she needs my stomach hanging out during this.
Alex: (On stage) She’s lucky, she doesn’t have to deal with things like body hair or weight gain.
The Essentia 2000: If you so wish. But these need to go.
She hooks her finger under the waistband of Alex’s boxers. As Alex tosses her boxers off, the Essentia bends down to pick her dress back up.
The Essentia 2000: How would you feel about being restrained?
Alex: I trust you.
Panda: Do you also always say I love you on the first date?
Alex: (On stage) She pauses for just a second. Her expression doesn’t change, but I could swear she smirked.
The Essentia 2000: Lay on your stomach in a comfortable position and place your arms behind your back.
Obediently, she does so, pinning her panda between the mattress and her chest. The Essentia strings the dress around Alex’s wrists and ties a knot. With a few experimental tugs, Alex confirms it’s secure.
Alex: Oh, I have some lotion in the drawer over there.
Alex: (On stage) I hear the click of the bottle opening, and I wonder if now is a good time to bring up that I’ve never gone this far before. Before that even crosses my mind, she’s on top of me.
The Essentia 2000: Tell me if anything hurts.
Alex: O-okay.
A hand rests on her lower back, and something cold brushes up against her hole. Noises Alex would rather not make keep slipping out. The Essentia straddles her legs and sticks a finger in. Alex loses herself to her thoughts.
Alex I: This is degrading, I can’t believe I’m letting this happen.
Alex II: How could I ever deny her anything?
Alex III: Look at me. Fat and lazy, taking it like a bitch.
Alex IV: You think I could do better than this? Do I have the right to soil her?
Alex V: Like you’ve satisfied a woman in your life.
The position changes, the Essentia is now fully on top of her, pressing her cock inside. Alex squirms until she can bite down on the panda’s paw. It feel right to be held down like this and filled, and at the same time-
Alex I: This is all I’m good for in bed.
Alex II: Maybe those other girls would’ve stuck around if I’d just let them top.
Alex III: Or if I had just kept my mouth shut.
Alex IV: Why don’t I ever try to get better?
Alex V: Quit sulking.
The Essentia reaches around and curls her fingers around Alex’s throat. She pushes down on the veins that line her neck. Immediately the world gets blurrier. Everything heavier, each movement more intense. Her windpipe isn’t obstructed, but she can’t fill her lungs. Just when it feels like it’s too much, too much too much, a ringing fills her ears.
Ring ring ring… Ring ring ring… Ring ring ring…
Alex: (On stage) Over my own sounds and through the walls I hear the phone ringing. An incessant, desperate sound.
Alex: Essentia! Eh- essentia!
The Essentia slows down and comes to a halt, still buried inside of her. Alex is trembling, each breath shallow and shaky. She sniffles, her nose too stuffy to breathe. Ever so careful not to get a strand caught in her joints, the Essentia drags her fingers through her hair.
The Essentia 2000: What is it? Too much?
Alex: (On stage) I don’t even know what to say. I know that the phone isn’t really ringing.
Alex: (On stage) But it could! Any second now someone could desperately need my help? And what would I be doing? Getting railed in the comfort of my own home? While my friends do the real work?
Alex: (On stage) What sort of friend would I be?
She says nothing, only letting out a strangled whimper. The Essentia pulls out and carefully rolls her onto her back. Alex’s eyes are closed, the corners wet with tears. Using Alex’s bound wrists, she lifts Alex into a sitting position, her back up against the headboard. She gasps as the Essentia sets her down in her lap, sheathing herself once again.
Alex’s eyes snap open. The Essentia is practically lifting her up and down, like she’s a well crafted sex doll, each movement forcing another sad sound out of her. The Essentia caresses her cheek and wipes away a small drop of drool on her lip.
It’s all too much.
Alex: E- ah! Um- mph!
The Essentia 2000: Shhh… shhh…
Alex: (On stage) She pets me like I’m an overeager pet. Cooing like I’m a child on the verge of breakdown. I feel like a child, like I’m crawling into my mother’s bed after a nightmare.
The Essentia’s perfectly smooth skin rubs against Alex’s. She’s drenched in sweat it’s like she’s drowning in it. The ringing continues, a constant plead.
Ring ring ring.
Alex: Essentia…
The Essentia 2000: That’s it. Just relax.
Too much. Too much.
Alex: Fff- fuck! Essentia! I’m gonna-
…
The year is 1999 and you are a ten year old boy. Your mother is working again and you may not see her for weeks. Your sister is upstairs with that boy from next door; you had tried to worm your way into there with them (she was supposed to be watching you, afterall), but she shoved you out and slammed the door in your face. Carrying your stuffed panda between your teeth, you march down the stairs, making sure to stomp as much as possible so she knew you were upset by this.
When you reach the bottom you see it there, calling to you like a holy choir, that one home computer tucked away in the corner of the living room. It’s beautiful, with its sleek unsmudged screen. The first time you had ever seen it, your father lifted you up onto his lap and, his hands over yours, showed you how to work it. Of course, he’s been gone for years now, but you remember those games he showed you.
It’s been left unlocked. Normally it’s turned off when your mother isn’t around and you’re too young to know the passcode. But not this time. Right now you're the man of the house, and the entire online world is right there at your fingertips. Now what to do with it?
“What should we do first?” you ask your stuffed panda. Your glee and awe seeping into your words. The blinking line on the search bar stares back at you, just as eager as you are to receive input.
This thing has video games on it, but you can play all of the games you like in the comfort of your bedroom. Instead your mind wanders to the other uses. The internet is a tool for knowledge, the voice of your mother tells you. There’s a lot of things you’d like to know more about. You think of one of the many other times you’ve been left to your own devices, of sneaking into your sister's room to flip through the books you weren’t allowed to look at. One described how a long woman’s body changes as she grows, equipped with pictures. This captivated you, and curious as you are, you had to wonder if the same things would happen to you too.
Your tiny fingers run across the keyboard as you type your query out. The computer takes its sweet time loading; the anticipation is enough to stave off any boredom. The computer blasts you with a billion images of grown men showing off as much as possible. While these images fascinate you, you feel an odd discomfort trying to picture them as you. Surely this can’t be right.
You change your query slightly, and the computer shows you hoards of beautiful women. You look at them, and you look at yourself, your tiny, squishy form, and you wonder if there’s still time to be molded into their image. And then your mother is standing behind you.
Her hand is in your hair, and then you are on the floor. And she is screaming, how dare you look at such things! You do not have the words to comprehend what it is you wanted, but now you understand that this desire is something to be ashamed of.
As your mother cements this very fact into your mind, upstairs your sister lays face down on her bed. These thin walls do nothing to shield her from your mother’s barrage. Digging her fingers in the sheets, she curses you for inflicting this on her. Why did you always have to get your mother yelling? Why couldn’t you just be normal?
…
The Essentia 2000: Alex? Are you alright?
There’s a sticky white mess on the Essentia’s chest, which is slowly dripping onto Alex’s flannel. She pulls out and grabs a towel to wipe herself off. She cradles Alex in her arms, obvious, perhaps willfully so, to the figure in the corner.
Alex’s face is twisted into contemplation. Her eyes are open, but they aren’t looking at anything in particular. Her mouth is open just wide enough to show off her teeth. Her face stays that way, like a freeze frame that lasts forever.
The Essentia 2000: Alex?
Her head falls forward and strikes the Essentia’s chest.