Merely a word

by secret_sanctuary

Summary:

Something was wrong with Dick, something so troubling that it affected him as Nightwing. And Victor was determined to find out what it was.

Dick was the bravest person he knew. He stared danger in the face every night and laughed, so why had he hesitated? Why had he flinched at her touch?

aka

Victor notices Dick’s downward spiral after his breakup with Barbara. Worried about his well-being, he encourages Dick to join him for a boys' night out.

As the night unfolds, they unintentionally delve into the past and uncover a long-buried secret—one that Dick had kept hidden for years.

Notes:

Content warning: Please heed the tags. I’ll be touching on several complex topics, including past sexual assault, internalised victim-blaming, and poor coping mechanisms. You’ve been warned.

Timeline: I’m playing fast and loose with the timeline, the same way DC does. It’s set a little after Dark Crisis on Infinite Earths (2022), but before the construction of the Titans Tower. Don’t worry. You won’t need to read that comic run. As for their ages, Dick will be twenty-six, and Victor will be twenty-seven.

Please keep feedback fair. Thanks for reading!!

 

“In a society in which equality is a fact, not merely a word, words of racial or sexual assault and humiliation will be nonsense syllables.” ~ Catherine MacKinnon

Chapter 1: Unexpected plans

Victor knocked over a broken concrete slab as he rifled through the remnants of Blüdhaven Private Prison. The dilapidated building had definitely seen better days. After its destruction at the hands of Heartless, one of Nightwing's rogues, the prisoners were either transferred to other facilities or had their bail fees waived, courtesy of the mayor. Since the original owners couldn’t afford the upkeep, Dick took it off their hands, intending to repurpose it into the latest Titans Tower.

Victor projected a life-sized hologram of the blueprints from his wrist, overlaying it atop the prison. Dick stepped forward to inspect it. Together, they could visualise the final stage of construction.

“Since we’re on the shoreline, visitors will arrive by Chen Bridge, which also connects them to the city centre,” explained Dick. He had spent weeks agonising over the design. “We’ll need to consider traffic congestion, but I think we’ve just about covered everything.”

“It’ll be great, Dick. Don’t fret the details,” assured Victor. 

He could tell that his friend was stressed. Over the past month, Dick had thrown himself into work. If it wasn’t related to the Titans or the tower, he was either fighting crime as Nightwing, volunteering as a social worker, or helping his family in Gotham. He wore himself so thin that Victor was surprised he hadn’t snapped yet.

Unfortunately, Dick had a habit of overextending himself, especially when something troubled him. He’d rather bury his head in the sand than confront the real issue. That’s why it was crucial for the Titans to step in and intervene before things got too dire. 

“You’re right...” Dick turned to face the prison, his brows furrowing in contemplation. “...but are you sure our design is viable? A rendering is one thing, but we both know practicality is another, especially with how green we’re going to make it.” 

‘Green’ was an understatement. The tower's blueprint included a vertical forest with planters and trees on the balconies and roof, as well as a large Sycamore planted in the centre. Dick also selected plants specifically suited to Blüdhaven’s rainy climate. Once finished, the tower would become a veritable jungle—something Gar would absolutely love. 

“I’m sure if you asked Ivy nicely, she’d lend you a hand if the leaves started to brown,” joked Victor. 

“You think so? I know she and Harley have been friendlier lately, but—” 

Victor burst into laughter. “Dick, that was a joke. Where’s your head these days?”

A light blush bloomed on Dick’s cheeks. “Buried somewhere under all the paperwork, if I had to guess. You’d think that personally knowing the mayor would at least bypass a couple of steps.”

“So, does that mean everything went well with Northstar?” asked Victor, smiling knowingly.

Northstar Group Services was a demolition and wrecking contractor. Dick had obtained a permit from the city, authorising the destruction of the prison. He’d been trying and failing to secure a date with them for weeks. 

Dick groaned and dropped his head into his hands. 

“That well, huh?” teased Victor.

“I asked them if we could demolish the prison ourselves. We’d only need a few starbolts from Kory or one of your sonic blasts, and it’d be over in minutes.”

Victor’s operating system did the calculations for him. “I could demolish it in one minute and twenty-three seconds if you’re interested in specifics.” 

“My point exactly. It’d be quick, efficient, and cost us nothing. You know what they said to me instead?” 

Victor shrugged. “Something about guidelines and policies?” 

“Got it in one,” Dick snorted. “I received quite a lengthy lecture about controlled implosions and strategically placed explosives. It really takes the fun out of it.”

“It's red tape, man. There’s not much you can do.”

“Except, of course, share the burden with my friends,” said Dick cheekily. 

Victor should’ve known that he’d eventually be roped into some bureaucratic nonsense. 

“I’m required to meet with the project manager this afternoon to sign off on the implosion plan,” continued Dick. “They want to include a section about salvaging materials once the building’s been brought down. So, if you’re not busy, maybe you could join me?” 

Dick looked up at him with a pleading expression, and any objections Victor once had quickly vanished. He couldn’t refuse his friend, not when Dick stared at him like that.

Victor let out a deep sigh. “Come on, then; we’ll take a Boom Tube.”

He tapped into the familiar well of energy inside himself and opened a portal with a resounding boom, shaking the surroundings. Together, they stepped onto what appeared to be a bustling city footpath. On the other side of the road stood Blüdhaven’s branch of Northstar.

Carefully avoiding any onlookers, they entered the lobby and joined the queue. Being around average civilians always made Victor feel self-conscious, and the stares did nothing to ease his nerves. Apart from the obvious (a half-man, half-cyborg stood out like a sore thumb), he also towered over most people at six-foot-six. It also didn’t help that Dick, in his skin-tight Nightwing costume and domino mask, attracted just as much attention but for entirely different reasons.

Dick reached the arched metal detector first, flanked by a pair of security guards on either side. The guard closest to them recognised Nightwing and opened a side gate to let him through. However, when Victor tried to follow, the guard extended his arm, denying him entry.

“I’m with him.” Victor pointed at Dick. 

“Yeah, he’s a fellow Titan.” 

“I don’t recognise him,” said the guard. “Nightwing usually comes alone.”

Victor exchanged an incredulous look with Dick. His friend shrugged and turned to the other security guard, hoping he’d be more reasonable.

“Well, he’s with me today. Do you mind if he just walks through? Cyborg here can’t exactly remove his metal.” 

The guard looked uncertain. “Policy says that all visitors must be subjected to the mandatory screening process.”

“Surely you can make an exception?” asked Dick. “He’s Cyborg—a hero.”

“I don’t know…” 

Victor sighed internally. What exactly did the guards expect him to do? Disconnect his limbs from his torso and put them on the conveyor belt? His entire body was infused with cybernetic enhancements; there wasn’t a part of him that remained unaltered.

The guard closest to him stood firm and refused to let him pass, while the other guard unclipped his radio to call for assistance. Victor briefly wondered if his ethnicity influenced their reaction. Would they have treated him the same way if he were Caucasian?

Behind him, people started gossiping about the escalating situation. Any moment now, one of them would whip out their phone and start recording. Knowing his luck, it’d probably end up on the local news or in a tabloid magazine. Then he’d wake up tomorrow morning to headlines stating, “Cyborg refuses to cooperate with Northstar security” or “What are the Titans hiding?”. 

Dick, noticing Victor’s discomfort, gently took his arm and led him away from the scene. He heard the guard yell at them to stop, but they both ignored him. Instead, they went to the back of the lobby and leaned against an empty wall as they waited for whoever the guard had called.

“Hey, I’m sorry he reacted that way,” said Dick, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I, uh, didn’t think they’d bar you from entering.”

“I’m gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s just doing his job.” 

But something told him that they wouldn’t have reacted the same way to Wally or Donna. 

“It’s not right, Vic,” said Dick, impassioned. “You’re a hero in every sense of the word. I don’t know why they can’t see that.” 

Victor felt himself soften at his friend’s words. Dick always knew the right thing to say. It was a hallmark of a good leader.

“Oh, Jane’s here,” said Dick. He nodded towards the far side of the foyer. “She’ll sort this out.”

A woman in a purple pantsuit bypassed security and walked towards them. 

“My apologies, gentlemen. Our guards should’ve been informed that a Titan or two would be visiting us today.”

“Mistakes can happen,” said Victor, eager to put the whole ordeal behind him. 

A bright smile stretched across her face. “Please, come this way. I’ll take you to my office.”

She led them back through the arched metal detector towards a wall of gilded elevators. The guards frowned as both he and Dick set off the alarms. Despite carrying non-lethal weapons, Dick still had an array of weapons. His electrified escrima sticks and wingdings were just a small part of his arsenal. It was a wonder that the guards hadn’t made Dick remove anything.

They followed Jane into the elevator, which took them to the sixth floor. There, they entered an office with a golden nameplate on the door. The inscription read, “Ms. Jane Netley, Project Manager.”

“We’ve closely collaborated with our structural engineers and amended the contract according to our discussion from last week. I have a copy here for you to review,” Jane said. Her accent was rather posh for a city like Blüdhaven.

Dick picked up the contact and began reading it line by line. Once he was done, he passed it to Victor.

“Do you mind?” asked Dick. “Another set of eyes couldn't hurt.”

Victor scanned the document for errors or inconsistencies. While doing so, Jane brought a tray of tea to the table. She poured herself a cup before making one for Dick.

“Milk, two sugars,” she said. “I remember how you like it.”

Dick smiled politely and accepted the cup. “Thanks.” He took a tentative sip and then set it back down.

Jane sat on the edge of her desk, crossing her legs and pointing one heel toward Dick. It felt slightly inappropriate, given the setting.

Victor finished scanning the document and was satisfied with its contents. Dick must’ve already worked through the details earlier, as the timeline, scope of work, and payment terms were clearly defined and fair for both parties. He returned it to Jane, whose smile grew tenfold.

“I take it that you approve?” she asked.

“The section you included on recycling raw materials and repurposing the foundation seems straightforward. I’m sure your structural engineers know what they’re doing,” said Victor.

“Quite.” She stood up and retrieved a fountain pen from her desk. “Ready to sign?” she asked Dick.

Dick set the cup of tea aside and took the pen from her hands. He leaned over the desk and signed the document in all the necessary places, dating it as he went. Jane subtly eyed him, allowing her gaze to travel down his body, or it would’ve been subtle if Victor hadn’t been watching her.

He frowned. While checking someone out wasn’t illegal, it still felt wrong. Dick would never admit it but he despised that kind of attention, particularly when it came to being sexualised.

“Done,” said Dick. He capped the pen and placed it on top of the contract. “I assume a copy will be sent to the address I supplied?” 

“That's correct,” Jane said as she picked up the pen and signed the document under Dick’s signature. When she finished, she shook his hand. “We at Northstar would like to thank you for your business.”

She lingered in Dick’s space for longer than necessary. 

“I’m just glad we’ll finally be able to demolish the jail,” said Dick. He took a couple of steps back, distancing himself from her. “It’s been a blight on this city for too long.”

“It’s certainly an eyesore,” agreed Jane. She sat on her desk again, portraying an easy confidence. “Now that the paperwork’s finished, maybe we could get drinks to celebrate? My treat, of course.”

Victor’s eyes widened in surprise. He turned towards Dick, who failed to hide his grimace. 

“Oh, um, Cyborg and I have plans for tonight, but thanks for the offer.” 

Jane flicked her eyes towards Victor and frowned. Perhaps if she weren’t so fixated on Dick, she might’ve noticed his disapproval. 

“I see,” she said. “Another time, then.” 

“Sure.” Dick threw his arm around Victor’s shoulders and guided him toward the door. “Welp, we’d better get going. I’ll keep an eye out for our copy in the mail.”

Outside the office, Victor quietly followed Dick until they reached the elevator. The doors slid shut behind them, granting the pair some privacy.

“Did you know she was going to ask you out?” asked Victor. “Is that why you wanted me here?”

Dick could be very perceptive when he wanted to be. He likely noticed her advances long before she made a move.

“Partly,” admitted Dick. “She’d been flirting with me for weeks, but I never reciprocated. I hoped she would’ve taken the hint that I'm not interested.” He slumped against the wall, closing his eyes. “I'm sorry I got you involved.”

Victor knew he should’ve been more annoyed with Dick, but he couldn’t fault his reasoning. He probably would've done the same if their places were swapped. 

He also knew that the Bats, including Dick, were taught not to disclose information unless necessary. The type of criminals they faced tended to use personal weaknesses against them, so he understood the need to keep some matters private. At least Dick filled him in afterwards; Batman would’ve just deflected the question.

“It’s fine. No harm done,” said Victor. The elevator doors dinged and swung open into the lobby. “Was there anything else on the agenda, or were you free to hang out?” he asked.

Dick hesitated. “I should probably head back to my apartment to review the blueprints. There's only a few more hours of daylight before patrol starts, and I shouldn't waste it.”

Wally was right, thought Victor; he’s working himself into an early grave.

“Come on, man. When was the last time you took a break? I’m sure Blüdhaven can spare you for one night.”

Dick pursed his lips. “I don't know…”

“You should learn how to relax. All this worrying can’t be good for your health.”

“I’m not that bad,” Dick downplayed.

“Uh-huh.” Victor gave him an incredulous look. His friend was the textbook definition of a workaholic.

“Alright, fine,” relented Dick. “You make a convincing argument.”

“Then what’re we waiting for? Let's get outta here.” He smiled brightly, excited to take Dick somewhere new.

Dick slowly returned the smile. “Lead the way.” 

Outside the Northstar building, Victor led Dick down a back alley, steering them away from the crowded streets. He contemplated a destination and grinned when one of his favourite spots sprang to mind. 

Extending his arm, Victor opened a Boom Tube and then turned to face Dick.

“After you.”

 

Notes:

I've always found the parallel between Dick and Victor interesting. Both face societal challenges due to aspects of themselves that they can’t change.

For example, Victor deals with systemic racism, while Dick grapples with objectification/sexualisation stemming from sexism. These issues are inherently intertwined, as they are deeply rooted forms of oppression.

Chapter 2: River walk

Victor guided Dick through the portal, staying tight-lipped about their destination. He wanted it to be a surprise. When they reached the other side, Dick’s face lit up. They’d travelled from Blüdhaven, a coastal city, to Detroit, an urban jungle of towering skyscrapers. Traffic was at a complete standstill as roadworks reduced four lanes to one. Everywhere they looked, there were cars—engines revved, horns blared. It felt like home.

“Are we in Downtown Detroit?” guessed Dick.

“Yeah, good ol’ Detroit. My hometown.” Victor smiled at Dick. “I know the city has a pretty bad rap, but I hope to show you a different side.”

He led Dick down Washington Boulevard to his favourite diner. People gathered on the street, enjoying the last few hours of sunlight. A couple of them waved, recognising him.

“You’re preaching to the choir, Vic. I spent my childhood in Gotham and now live in Blüdhaven—two of the most crime-ridden cities in America. There’s always good to be found.”

“You seem to recognise Detroit, though. Have you visited before?” he asked.

Dick looked away, wistful. “A few years ago, before Haly’s burned to the ground, I briefly travelled with the circus on their Midwestern tour. One of our stopovers was in Detroit.” His eyes shone with fond memories of a more peaceful time. “Do you know what the best part of a travelling circus is?”

Victor shook his head no.

“You get to explore every city you visit.” 

It was surprising that a circus brat like Dick ever settled down in one spot. He figured that everyone needed a place they called home.

“Do you think you’d ever return? To the circus life, I mean?” asked Victor.

“No, that ship has long since sailed.” Dick glanced away. “Besides, Haly’s gone. There’s nowhere else I’d even consider.”

Victor frowned as he tried to remember what had happened. Though he couldn’t recall the exact details, he knew it involved the Court of Owls and a fire. Dick tried to salvage what was left of Haly’s by relocating them to Amusement Mile, but unfortunately, it didn’t work. The Joker blew up the circus and murdered several performers—those who remained left, unwilling to stay in Gotham. 

Not only had Dick lost the people he considered family, but he’d also lost their trust.

“Do you still keep in contact with them?” asked Victor.

“A few write to me, and Samson, our former Strongman, calls me once a month. So, I haven’t completely lost that connection.”

“You know that wasn’t your fault, right?” reassured Victor.

He knew that Dick often blamed himself for things beyond his control. The Court of Owls set fire to Haly’s—no one else did.

“Bad things tend to happen to those closest to me,” admitted Dick. Then, in a quieter voice, he added, “Sometimes I think it’d be safer if I weren’t close to anyone.”

“Dick, that’s not—" Before Victor could counter his friend’s (clearly untrue) statement, Dick abruptly changed the subject.

“How about you? What would you do if you weren’t Cyborg?”

“I’m not sure.” Victor paused, thoughtful. “I guess if I had never been in that lab accident, I would’ve finished high school, gotten a football scholarship, and then, who knows? I’d probably follow in my parents' footsteps. Earn a science degree in whatever field interested me at the time, then go off to live a boring, non-heroic life.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” said Dick. “There’s nothing wrong with mundanity.”

“But it’s like you said, that ship has long since sailed.”

Victor had already come to terms with his cybernetic enhancements. While his life differed from what he had envisioned, as Cyborg, he achieved more good in the world than he would have otherwise. 

“I guess you’re right,” agreed Dick. “There’s no point in ruminating on the past.”

Something was wrong. Victor could feel it. Whatever was troubling Dick was eating him up inside. He wished he knew how to bring up the subject and help his friend, but he didn’t have the words. Usually, it was Dick who knew what to say.

When they reached the end of the street, they spotted a large, 1950s-themed restaurant. The front of the building read, “American Coney Island”. 

“We’re getting Coney Dogs?” asked Dick excitedly.

“Yep, we’re getting Coney Dogs,” Victor replied, returning the smile.

Inside the restaurant, they joined the end of the queue. The floors were covered in black-and-white checkered tiles, and the ceiling had a reflective mirror that made the space feel larger than it actually was. As a regular, Victor was left alone while they waited to place their orders.

“What can I getcha?” asked the man behind the counter. 

“Two Coney Dogs, please, extra chilli,” said Victor. Then he turned to Dick. “And what’re you having?” 

Dick snorted. “I’ll have one Coney Dog, please, with the regular amount of chilli.”

The vendor prepared three chilli-slathered hot dogs for them. Outside, the sun began to set, casting a beautiful orange glow over the streets. Victor and Dick ate while walking, heading towards the Detroit River.

“What prompted you to move back to Detroit?” asked Dick. 

Victor had previously lived with them in the Titans Tower, travelling from Jump City to New York and then to San Francisco. He enjoyed the journey, but it was time to settle down.

He swallowed his bite before answering. “I wanted to explore my roots beyond the lab accident and my father. Plus, these are my people; they deserve someone who cares.”

“Then there’s no one better than you,” said Dick earnestly. 

Victor ignored the rush of heat that came to his face. Dick always had a way of inspiring others.

They walked side by side in silence until they arrived at the Detroit RiverWalk. Victor opened the gate for Dick and led him through. The river separated Detroit from Windsor, providing a view of both cities. Dick leaned against the railing as the nearby carousel cast a warm glow on his face. He looked... tired.

“I’m surprised you didn’t have plans tonight. Usually, I have to book weeks in advance if I want to hang out with you,” joked Victor. 

Dick turned to face him, his expression deceptively blank. “My schedule’s cleared up since Babs broke up with me.”

Victor grimaced. “Sorry, man. I didn’t know.”

The last time they broke up, Dick didn’t take it well. He threw himself into work, going deep undercover and posing as a mob enforcer. None of the Titans knew where he had gone until he resurfaced four months later, a shadow of his former self. Barbara stayed tight-lipped about the ordeal, refusing to share any details. Years later, he still didn’t know what had happened.

Now that they’d broken up again, he feared Dick would follow a similar path.

“It’s fine,” said Dick. “We’ve always had an on-again, off-again relationship. Right now, it just so happens to be off.” For a brief moment, an incredible sadness shone in Dick’s eyes.

He wasn’t fine. No matter how many times he said it.

“Do you want to talk about—"

“No,” interrupted Dick sternly. He cleared his throat, slightly uncomfortable. “I mean, thanks, but no. There’s nothing to talk about.”

An uncomfortable silence lingered between them. Victor didn’t know what to say. His friend was hurting, but if he wasn’t willing to talk about it, there wasn’t much he could do for him.

The wind picked up as they walked further down the river. He glanced over at Dick, furrowing his brows. Despite Dick’s skin-tight Nightwing costume, he didn’t appear to feel cold. Victor brought up Dick’s biological readings, checking for discrepancies. Other than a slight temperature, he seemed okay.

Victor shrugged off his sports jacket and handed it to Dick. “Here. My systems self-regulate my body temperature, so I don’t need this.”

“Thanks.”

Dick wrapped himself in the massive jacket. The fabric engulfed him, making him look smaller than he really was. 

“It’s getting late,” said Victor, noting the creeping darkness. “Maybe we could head back to mine and have a couple of drinks?”

“Sure, why not? Are you going to open another Boom Tube?” asked Dick.

“We could fly?” suggested Victor.

Dick cracked a wicked smile, fondness written all over his face. “Just like old times, huh?”

Nearly all the Titans had taken turns carrying Dick to and from battles. Wally used the Speed Force, Kory and Donna relied on their super strength, Gar shapeshifted into an animal, and he made use of his jet propulsion system.

“Come on, then. Hands out.”

Victor gripped Dick’s wrists and carefully activated his jets, lifting them into the air. They rose higher and higher until they hovered directly above the river. Below them, the city sparkled like stars as the skyscrapers lit up the night.

Dick tossed his head back and laughed. He felt at home in the sky, soaring above the streets like the aerialist he was. How long had it been since Victor took him flying? Since anyone had taken him flying? He’d need to have a word with the Titans about it. 

As they flew over Midtown, Victor heard a scream. Dick heard it too. Together, they scanned the nearby buildings, looking for the source of the disturbance. 

A couple of girls ran out of a neon nightclub, flagging them down.

“Cyborg! Over here!” one of them yelled.

Victor lowered Dick down and then landed beside him. Both girls looked frantic.

“What’s the problem?” asked Dick, automatically switching into leader mode.

“My friend, Anna,” the girl cried. “She’s fallen and hurt herself.”

“Where is she?” asked Dick. “Take us to her.”

The two girls rushed into the nightclub towards their fallen friend. Anna was sprawled at the bottom of the stairs, surrounded by partygoers. Someone had turned off the music.

“Is she going to be okay?” asked a bartender. He’d given Anna a handful of ice to press against her ankle.

Victor scanned her body, searching for injuries. There were no breaks or internal bleeding, just a sprain. She’d been lucky. His systems also alerted him to her blood alcohol level; she was four times over the limit and incredibly intoxicated.

“Hi, Anna. I’m Nightwing, and this is Cyborg. Are you able to stand?”

“No. My ankle. I-I think it’s broken,” she said, slurring her words.

“It’s not broken,” corrected Victor. “I did a scan. You’ve sprained it.”

Dick bent down, inspecting her injury. “It looks swollen. We’ll help you get home so you can rest it.” He turned around, facing Victor. “Would you be able to organise a taxi?”

While Victor did that, Dick helped her up off the floor. She hobbled outside the club, leaning on Dick for support. He could smell the alcohol on her; she reeked of it.

“You’re Nightwing, right?” asked Anna, swaying on the spot. She could barely keep her head up. “I know you…you…were on the news. I saw you.”

Dick supported her against the nightclub wall, trying to stop her from toppling over again.

“You rescued those girls…in Blood…something. I dunno.”

“Blüdhaven,” corrected Dick.

“That’s right. You…were so brave.”

Anna slumped forward, clutching Dick’s chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist, holding on for dear life.

“Woah, careful,” chastised Dick. He tried to pry her arms from his body, but she clung on tighter.

Victor stepped in, hoping to divert her attention. “Taxi’s here in two minutes.”

Anna didn’t even glance his way. Her focus was entirely on Dick.

“Are you coming home…with me?” she asked. “You can come…if you like.”

Dick frowned, visibly uncomfortable. “I don’t think—"

Anna giggled. “You’re no fun!” She playfully lowered her arms and grabbed Dick’s butt.

“Woah, hey!” shouted Victor. “That’s not alright!”

He stepped between them, taking the brunt of Anna’s weight. She giggled again, oblivious to the fact that she’d just groped someone.

Dick stood frozen. A flicker of fear crossed his face before he turned away, seemingly to gather his composure.

“Are you—” Victor began to ask if he needed help, but Dick interrupted him.

“I’m fine, just…give me a moment.”

When the taxi arrived, Victor helped Anna into the backseat. She gave the driver her address and was driven away without any further incident. Dick stood back, watching from the alleyway—his expression stern.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” asked Victor.

“I already told you I’m fine. Let’s go,” Dick ordered, cutting the conversation short.

Victor flew Dick to his house in silence. He lacked the words to express himself. What had happened between Dick and Anna really bothered him, especially Dick’s reaction. He appeared… scared—a response he hadn’t expected. Dick was the bravest person he knew, and he’d never seen the man waver. Something was troubling him, something deeper than the issues they faced tonight. 

If only Victor knew what it was.

 

Notes:

A couple of things: Firstly, Dick struggles to open up to others, mainly because he fears being seen as weak or useless. As a result, he hasn’t shared his history of assaults with anyone.

Secondly, Victor lacks confidence in his communication skills because he feels disconnected from others. He sees himself as an outsider, not quite human nor machine.

Chapter 3: Shifted perspective

Victor landed in his front yard and gently lowered Dick onto the grass. The porch light clicked on, illuminating both of them. He glanced at his friend, searching for any signs of distress, but found none. It seemed the flight home had given Dick time to compose himself.

“Home, sweet home,” Victor said, trying to lighten the mood. 

They stood in front of his house, admiring the view. It was small yet cosy, featuring a red brick exterior and green shutters that blocked out the sun. He had taken the time to grow a garden, cultivating his mother’s favourite flower: magnolia blooms. It was a small piece of her that brought him comfort. 

“It’s rather secluded,” observed Dick. “But it’s also very much you.”

Since he lived on the outskirts of the city, the houses weren’t as closely packed, offering him more privacy. It was nice: no strangers staring, no intrusive reporters, and, for the most part, his neighbours left him alone.

“I can give you a tour if you’d like,” Victor suggested.

“Oh, go on then,” Dick urged. “Let’s see what you’ve done with the place.”

Victor unlocked his front door and tossed his keys onto the counter. He spun around, making a grand sweeping gesture.

“This is the entry hall, which, as the name implies, provides entry.” He walked down the hallway into his living room, where he had an open-plan kitchen. “This here is my fridge. Currently, it holds a twelve-pack of beer and a variety of takeout containers.”

“Haven’t had time to cook?” teased Dick. 

Victor playfully elbowed him. “Says the guy who lives on energy bars and protein shakes. I wouldn’t be so quick to judge if I were you.”

Dick raised his hands, admitting defeat. “Touché.”

As he led Dick around his house, the earlier tension faded away, transforming into their usual banter.

“Make yourself at home,” said Victor, leaning against the kitchen island. “You don’t have to stay in costume. It’s just us.”

Following his advice, Dick sank into the couch and removed his gloves and combat boots, arranging them neatly by the coffee table. Then, he took out a small container of spirit gum remover and peeled away the adhesive that held his domino mask in place, uncovering his face.

“Is that—? No, it couldn’t be. Is that the Dick Grayson sitting on my couch?” said Victor, pretending to be an enamoured fan.

“Ha ha, you’re hilarious,” Dick deadpanned, rolling his eyes dramatically.

Victor dodged the pillow thrown his way. “Watch it! You’ll scuff my counters.”

“Oooh, I’m terribly sorry. Won’t happen again,” said Dick somewhat sarcastically.

“That's more like it.”

“I was talking to the counters.”

Victor snorted, amused by his antics. “Come on then, let me show you the TV. It's brand-spankin’ new, 75 inches with surround sound...”

After finishing his impromptu tour, Victor re-entered the kitchen with Dick close behind him. “You hungry?” he asked.

Dick shrugged. “Yeah, I could eat.”

Victor rummaged through his pantry, unsure of what he had on hand. He found a packet of cheese-flavoured crackers and emptied them into a bowl.

“Let’s sit outside,” suggested Victor. “Gar helped assemble the deck chairs, so don’t worry if they wobble a bit.”

Dick approached in his Nightwing costume, looking strange without the mask.

“Hey, man, do you want a change of clothes? I’ve probably got something warmer you could wear.”

“Oh, um, sure,” Dick agreed reluctantly. “I probably shouldn’t show my face in costume anyway—it’s bad luck.”

Victor switched on a lamp and rummaged through his dresser drawer, searching for something that would fit. He picked a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of sweatpants that Dick could adjust at the waist.

“Sorry, I don’t have anything smaller.”

“It’s fine,” waved Dick, unbothered. “Not like I’m dressing for a gala.”

After Dick changed, he stepped outside to join Victor. The night was lively, filled with the loud buzzing of cicadas. If he squinted, he could see them swarming near the fence line. 

“Want a drink?” asked Victor.

Dick nodded. “Sure, I’ll take one of those beers you mentioned earlier.”

Victor took the twelve-pack of beers from the fridge and placed it on the table between them. He opened the carton and handed him one.

Dick rotated the bottle, studying the label. “Stroh’s beer, huh? Can’t be any worse than Blüd’s Brümeister.”

“Yeah, I don’t understand how you can drink that crap,” agreed Victor as he twisted off the cap.

“You might have to,” Dick smirked. “Cause that’s what I’ll stock the fridges with when we finish constructing the Tower.”

“Oh, hell no. I might work in ‘Haven, but don’t think for a second I'll sample the sludge you call booze,” teased Victor. “Anyway, I’m just a Boom Tube away from Detroit. You better believe I’ll take advantage of that.”

He took a deep swig of beer, enjoying the light malt flavour. After finishing his first bottle, he quickly opened another. His systems automatically filtered the alcohol from his blood, meaning it took a lot for him to feel buzzed—a downside of being part machine.

Dick maintained the same pace, matching him bottle for bottle. He also had a high alcohol tolerance, but nothing compared to his. 

“I got a hypothetical for you,” said Victor, grinning. 

“Alright, shoot.”

“Would you rather have super hearing or super smell?” he asked. When Dick opened his mouth to answer, he quickly added a caveat. “BUT you can't turn it off. So whichever sense you choose will forever impact your life.”

“Hmmm, okay, tough one,” Dick paused to think, weighing his options. “How enhanced are we talking? Am I picking up sounds from a thirty-foot radius or across an entire city block? And what about smell? What are the limits?”

Dick was always a thinker; he needed to understand the logistics before making a choice. 

“Let’s say you can hear frequencies from, uh, five miles away and interpret multiple layers of sounds, so it’s not just one big blur. Plus, you’d be able to hear people’s heartbeats and discern whether they’re lying.”

“Okay, and how about smell?”

“When it comes to smell… you can track almost anything through scent, I suppose. You might even be able to detect illnesses or tumours, similar to those medical dogs.”

Dick hesitated with his answer. “Well, I’m pretty good at reading people, so being a human lie detector won’t change much, but diagnosing people could save lives. Still, there are a lot of downsides to both.”

“Come on, you need to pick one.”

“Fine. Super smell because it impacts my life the least. I think enhanced hearing would be too distracting.”

“Alright, fair choice,” Victor agreed. He probably would’ve chosen the opposite, but to each their own. “Here’s another one for you: Would you rather have Kryptonite as a weakness or the colour yellow?”

Dick clutched his sides as he laughed, remembering how, years ago, the Green Lanterns couldn’t influence anything yellow. That issue resolved itself after Parallax escaped their Central Power Battery, but for a time, it was a running joke within the caped community. 

“Oh, give me Kryptonite any day of the week,” answered Dick immediately. “Imagine being defeated by a primary colour?”

Victor shared his laughter. “That was an easy one, huh? Let me think of something harder.”

As the night went on, he and Dick brainstormed more and more outlandish scenarios until they had finished the entire twelve-pack of beer. When Victor reached down, only to find the carton empty, he decided it was a good time to stop.

He closed his eyes, listening to the wind rustling through the leaves, savouring a moment of peaceful bliss. Dick, too, had settled, twisting his body into a relaxed position that would have been uncomfortable for anyone else.

After a while, Victor cracked open an eye and peered at his friend. He looked serene, as if all his worries had vanished, but that was far from the truth. Something troubled him, something so fundamental that it had even affected him in costume. But what could cause Dick to hesitate like that? What could make him react that way to that girl?

He didn't have the words then, but he could try again now. No one would interrupt them. They were alone, sitting outside his house—just the two of them and the cicadas.

Victor leaned over and gently shook Dick from his meditative state.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “But what happened with Barbara? I thought you two were doing well.”

Dick rolled over, instantly on the defensive. “I already told you. We broke up.”

“Yeah, but why?” asked Victor. 

“What does it matter? It’s over.”

Once again, Dick chose to deflect rather than answer the question. This behaviour wasn’t healthy; it mirrored how Batman would act, which was something Dick had previously mentioned he wanted to avoid.

“It matters because you’re still upset about it, and I don’t want you to keep it bottled up like you usually do.”

“I don’t bottle things up,” refuted Dick.

He couldn’t help but scoff at that. “You’re doing it right now.”

“I—oh.” Dick’s eyes widened as he finally realised what he’d been doing.

“Just be honest, man. I’m not gonna judge—”

“She accused me of cheating,” Dick blurted out, interrupting him.

An uncomfortable silence lingered between them. Of all the things Dick could have said, cheating was the last thing he expected.

“Who, Barbara?” Victor asked, remembering to use his words.

“Yes, Barbara, who else?”

“What—?”

Victor’s head spun. Why would Barbara accuse Dick of cheating? His friend was a one-woman kind of guy, a true romantic. He’d never cheat, or at least not willingly. Something else was at play that he didn’t yet understand.

“Why would she accuse you of that? You’re not a cheater.” Victor hesitated, hating himself for needing to ask. “…right?”

Dick furrowed his brows. “No, of course not. I’d never hurt her like that.”

“Then help me out here, man. I’m struggling to understand why she’d say that. Barbara wouldn’t accuse you without reason.”

“She had a reason…” Dick trailed off.

A heaviness settled in Victor’s stomach. This didn’t bode well.

“About a month ago, while I was patrolling in Blüdhaven, Barbara joined me as Batgirl for the night. Everything was fine until we crossed paths with Double Dare.”

“Double Dare…” Victor racked his brain, trying to put a name to a face. “Remind me who that is again?”

“Who they are,” corrected Dick. “Double Dare are a pair of acrobatic sisters who travel from city to city, committing crimes.”

“Oh, the ones in yellow, right?”

Dick nodded. “Anyway, the younger of the duo, Aliki, has a bit of a crush on me.” His cheeks reddened at the admission. “Nothing serious ever came of it, but during the fight, she kissed me, and I... well, I kinda froze. I pushed her away, of course, but Babs wasn’t impressed. She said I could’ve stopped it, and she’s right; I didn’t try hard enough.”

His eyes gleamed with barely suppressed sadness. “When we returned to my apartment, we had a huge argument,” continued Dick. “She accused me of liking Aliki and wanting to kiss her. I tried to explain myself, I really did, but she threw what happened with Catalina back in my face. After that, she stormed out, screaming that the relationship was over. We haven’t spoken since.” 

That was a lot to unpack.

Victor rubbed his temples as a headache began to form. From what he gathered, it seemed that Aliki had kissed Dick against his will, which was unacceptable no matter how you looked at it. However, Barbara shouldn’t have blamed him for that. You can’t control the actions of others.

“That wasn’t your fault. The blame lies solely with Aliki,” emphasised Victor.

“Yeah, but I should’ve anticipated something like that,” Dick countered. “I knew she had a crush on me, but I didn’t take it seriously.”

“You can’t—” Victor shook his head. “People are complicated. No one can perfectly predict human behaviour, no matter how skilled they are.”

Dick looked down, picking at a loose thread on his sweatpants.

“It’s different for me,” he admitted after a long pause. “I’ve been trained to read people: micro-expressions, body language, everything. I should have seen it coming.”

“Bullshit,” Victor said, calling him out. “Even Batman makes mistakes sometimes. You’re not perfect, Dick, and insisting that you have to be is only hurting yourself.” 

“But I—”

“No, I don’t want to hear it, not over something like this,” interrupted Victor. “Barbara’s mistaken. It's not your fault, and if she can’t see that, then she’s the one with the problem.”

“She’s justified in feeling upset,” Dick said softly. “I broke her trust.”

Victor sighed.

How can two such wonderful people be so terrible together?

He hoped things would have been different the second time around, but apparently not. Whatever caused their rift had been years in the making.

Dick buried his face in his hands, clearly distressed. “I was nineteen when we first started dating. Not that it’s an excuse, but I was inexperienced in relationships,” he explained. “At that time, I’d taken on a protégé of sorts, but in reality, she just did whatever she wanted. Barbara didn’t like how much time I spent with her, and I guess she was right because she ended up kissing me, just like Aliki did. Babs was so angry that she called off our relationship, wanting to take a break from us.” 

A name from earlier popped into his mind: Catalina. Dick had briefly mentioned her, identifying her as a sore point for the couple.

“Catalina, right?” asked Victor. “That’s who your protégé was.”

Dick inhaled sharply. “Yeah, Catalina. Tarantula.”

“Okay, so Barbara’s upset, and you’ve taken a break to cool down. I still don’t understand how you broke her trust?”

“There’s more,” admitted Dick. “I’d had a rough couple of days—more like a rough month—because Blockbuster was hell-bent on destroying my life. He’d learnt my identity and knew exactly whom to target to get to me. He set fire to Haly’s Circus and then blew up my apartment with everyone inside.” Dick took a deep breath, trying to hold it together. “What I mean is that I was in a bad place mentally.”

Victor listened intently, absorbing every word spoken. He hadn’t realised how awful it had been for Dick. Of course, he knew about Blockbuster, but not the full extent of the death and destruction he had caused. Had Dick really gone through this alone? Where was his family? Where were the Titans? Where was he? It made Victor feel like a terrible friend.

“Then I—” Dick squeezed his thighs, digging his nails into his skin. “I-I slept with her.”

“Slept with who?” asked Victor, almost afraid to know.

“With Catalina. I didn’t want to; it wasn’t planned or anything, but Babs found out. All her fears about us came true, so I can’t blame her for not trusting me. I-it’s the least I deserve.”

None of this made sense. Why would Dick sleep with someone if he knew it would hurt Barbara?

“What do you mean you didn’t want to?” Victor asked. After all, it takes two to tango. 

Dick gripped his thighs so tightly he almost drew blood. “It’s as I said, I was in a bad place. Everything was a blur. I-I don’t really remember much of it, just bits and pieces.”

Victor’s brows shot up. Dick's description sounded off. Had he been out of it? Intoxicated? Injured? What exactly happened?

“There was a rooftop... It was raining... I don’t know—it’s hard to remember,” Dick continued, his thoughts drifting to another point in time.

“Were you not…” Victor hesitated, searching for the right word, “…aware?”

“No, I suppose I wasn’t. She’d just killed Blockbuster after I…stepped aside. I couldn’t breathe; there was blood on my hands, so I went to the rooftop… and I-I think she followed me.”

Oh, God.

Did she—

Because he couldn’t—

That meant she—

She raped him. It sounded like she raped him.

Dick stared into space, his mind elsewhere. Perhaps he was trying to piece the puzzle together, or maybe he simply wished to forget the entire ordeal.

“I’m truly sorry that happened to you,” Victor said sincerely.

He couldn’t express how deeply his heart ached for him. Dick needed someone in his corner to support him, and if that meant Victor had to be the one to step up, then so be it.

Dick furrowed his brow. “There’s nothing to apologise for. I’m fine. I mean, I can hardly remember it.”

“That doesn’t make it right,” stressed Victor. “She took advantage of you and—”

“Stop.” Dick raised his voice, which he almost never did. “I don’t want to hear it, Vic. I’m not a victim.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

They stared at one another, neither moving from their seats. Dick hadn’t fully processed what had happened to him, but Victor wouldn’t let him deflect, not this time.

Eventually, Dick spoke. “I’ll admit it was shitty of her to do, but you’re making it sound worse than what it was.”

He wanted to reach out and shake some sense into Dick, but that wouldn’t help either of them. What Dick needed was a friend, and that’s precisely what Victor was.

“You couldn’t consent. She slept with you. What else is there to say?”

Dick rose to his feet, frustrated by the direction of the conversation. “I don’t have to listen to this.”

“Wait, Dick. Just sit down for a moment.”

“No, I-I have to go.” Dick stepped back toward the house, gathering his Nightwing gear. “I stayed longer than I should’ve.”

Victor stepped forward, extending his hand but not making contact. “It’s late. We’ve been drinking. I don’t think you should go.”

“Just open a Boom Tube directly into my apartment,” Dick instructed.

“That’s not what I meant,” he hesitated. “I don’t think you should be alone right now.”

A look of betrayal crossed Dick’s face before all his emotions were concealed behind a blank expression. “Fine, I’ll stay. If it will make you feel better.”

“The spare bedroom is—"

Dick pushed past him. “It's the second door on the right; you showed it to me earlier.” He opened the door and then shut it with a loud click.

Victor stood alone in the hallway, staring at the back of the door and wondering how everything had gone so wrong. He hadn’t meant to upset him, but he also couldn’t let things lie. What had happened to Dick was terrible, and it saddened him that no one had told him otherwise. His friend needed help, even if he wasn’t ready to admit it yet.

 

Notes:

So, we’ve gotten to the crux of the issue. Please don’t be too harsh on Barbara; she has her own insecurities to work through and is unaware of what exactly happened between Catalina and Dick.

Chapter 4: Morning afterwards

Victor lay wide awake, staring at his bedroom ceiling in an almost trance-like state. He replayed the footage from last night, projecting it into his mind. His cybernetic eye captured everything, automatically logging and storing it as memory files. It was all too easy to watch and analyse where he’d gone wrong.

Dick clearly wasn’t ready to discuss something so personal with him. He must’ve felt ambushed, as if Victor had set a trap, waiting for him to fall prey. However, that wasn’t Victor’s intention; he only wanted to help. Yet, he ended up pushing his friend away.

The betrayal in Dick’s eyes cut deeper than any insult could. He didn’t mean to imply that he might hurt himself or that he wasn’t capable of being alone, but they’d been drinking, and emotions were running high. He just… he’d kick himself if anything happened to him, not when he could’ve prevented it.

Because what Dick admitted was more than he knew how to handle. The way he described his encounter with Catalina didn’t sound consensual; it sounded one-sided, as if she’d taken advantage of Dick during his lowest moment.

After they separated, with Dick storming off to the spare bedroom, Victor decided to conduct his own investigation. Several questions gnawed at his mind to the point that he needed answers. What exactly happened in Blüdhaven six years ago? Who was Catalina? And how did Blockbuster fit into all of this? Dick had mentioned him several times, citing his personal vendetta and subsequent death as inciting factors.

But the deeper Victor delved into the past, the worse it got.

How Dick hadn’t suffered a mental breakdown, he’d never know. Or perhaps he had. After all, Dick vanished for four months, going deep undercover with the mob. It wasn’t exactly a healthy coping mechanism.

But Dick was right about one thing. Blockbuster had it out for him. Targeting his job, his friends, his family, his neighbours—no one was safe. In the end, he killed anyone who interacted with Dick, even those who had no idea who Dick was, simply because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Then there were those associated with Blockbuster, those who carried out his dirty work. There was Firefly, who set Haley’s Circus ablaze, killing twenty-three and injuring over a hundred. Next were Mouse and Giz, demolitions experts, who blew up Dick’s apartment block, resulting in another twenty-two dead. Finally, there was Tarantula, also known as Catalina Flores, who had secretly worked for Blockbuster from the beginning. She had been feeding him information by posing as Dick’s protégé and worming her way into his life.

Catalina was now serving a twenty-year sentence for the murder of Blockbuster, having betrayed him at the last possible moment. Victor read the report, and to say he felt disgusted would be an understatement. She showed no remorse for her actions and blamed Dick for stepping aside, claiming that “he let her shoot him”. A flimsy defence, at best.

In fact, she had plenty to say about Dick, mentioning him numerous times in her statements and during court proceedings. A psychologist described her as infatuated, as Catalina believed they were in love and would one day marry. It was, to say the least, horrifying.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much information about what happened after Blockbuster’s murder. It seemed that both Dick and Catalina had disappeared until several weeks later when they resurfaced in Gotham.

Victor dug a bit deeper, hacking into restricted files, and discovered that Dick’s credit card had been used at several dodgy motels where they must’ve stayed, but what transpired between them remained unknown. 

From what he pieced together, before Blockbuster’s murder, Dick had been on the run, trying to avoid further casualties. He was homeless, without a support network, and feared involving his family in case they became targets too. Then, Blockbuster confronted him; they fought, Dick was injured, and that’s when Catalina got involved. Dick had “stepped aside”, and Catalina took the shot, murdering Blockbuster in cold blood.

Afterwards, things got messy.

Dick’s statement provided some clarity. He recalled struggling to breathe, possibly dissociating or going into shock. His memory was hazy, coming in fragments. Clearly, he wasn’t aware of his surroundings, which made it even harder when he described what happened next.

Catalina followed him up to the rooftop, intending to… well, he didn’t exactly know. However, what he did know was that she took advantage of Dick in one of his lowest moments and raped him. There was no sugar-coating or avoiding it.

She was a rapist.

Dick seemed to have internalised this, blaming himself for not stopping her. His statement to the police also hinted at these feelings. He turned in both Catalina and himself for the murder of Blockbuster, claiming he should have done more to prevent it. However, Victor could read between the lines; Dick believed he was at fault for both the murder and what transpired on the rooftop.

What made it even worse was that no one was there to tell him otherwise. Barbara was still reeling from the breakup and the apparent betrayal to realise something was wrong. Batman and the rest of his family were dealing with a crisis in Gotham, too busy to notice anything amiss. Meanwhile, the Titans had temporarily disbanded due to Donna’s death, and by the time they got involved, Dick had disappeared.

But not this time. This time, Victor vowed to be there for Dick, to be the friend he should’ve been from the start. He’d make sure Dick had all the Titans there for support. He would never feel alone again.

Victor opened his eyes and checked his internal clock. It was just past eight o’clock in the morning. The sun was already up, shining through the gaps in the shutters.

He shuffled out of bed, having barely slept a wink. When he opened his bedroom door, he noticed Dick was also awake and in the kitchen. He could smell the sizzling of bacon and eggs, which was odd since he hadn’t had either ingredient in his fridge.

“Mornin’,” he greeted softly, unsure where things stood between them.

Dick turned around, still wearing the same clothes Victor had given him the day before. His hair was slightly dishevelled, as if the wind had whipped it into a frenzy.

“Good morning.”

The tension was palpable between them. He felt more at ease battling villains than he did facing the consequences of what’d been revealed the night before.

“Where’d you get the eggs and bacon?” he asked. “The last time I checked, my fridge was pretty bare-boned.”

Dick flipped the bacon, making sure it was perfectly crispy. “I jogged to the corner shop.”

“…what corner shop?”

Victor lived in a relatively secluded area on the outskirts of the city. He had to travel to the nearest town whenever he needed groceries (or takeout).

“There’s one about ten miles down the road.”

“Ten miles? On foot?”

Dick raised a brow. “Yeah?”

Victor shook his head, feeling both impressed and exasperated. “Nothing beats a twenty-mile jog in the morning, I guess.”

Not only had Dick bought ingredients to stock his fridge, but he had also set the table, finding the china he’d stored in the back of the cabinets.

Victor sat down as Dick served the eggs and bacon, placing them next to grilled tomatoes, mushrooms, and freshly toasted bread—a full spread, by the looks of things. 

How long had Dick been up? Had he even slept? Not that Victor could judge; he hadn’t had much shut-eye either. 

“I, uh, it’s my way of apologising,” Dick said. “I didn’t mean to shut down on you like that.”

Victor rubbed the back of his neck. “Don’t worry about it. Anyway, I’m the one who should apologise. I was being way too pushy.”

They shared a glance and smiled, having got past the awkwardness from last night.

“Let’s enjoy breakfast while it’s still warm,” suggested Victor. His mouth watered at the spread before him. “We can sort out the rest once we’ve eaten.”

The food, as expected, was delicious. Dick had always been a great cook, having learnt from Alfred at a young age. Victor still remembered the first time Dick made breakfast for the Titans, whipping up his famous chocolate chip banana pancakes. It was fair to say there were no leftovers that day.

Victor cleared the table and loaded all the dirty plates into the dishwasher. Then it was just him, Dick, and the words left unspoken.

“Why don’t—”

“We can—"

They accidentally spoke over one another. Victor paused, and so did Dick, both waiting for the other to continue.

After a brief silence, Dick took the initiative and sat on the couch, facing the back porch. Sunlight streamed through the slats, casting a warm glow on his face. Victor noticed the empty beer bottles by the door, waiting to be recycled. They had had a lot to drink that night, or at least Dick had, as he was the only one capable of getting buzzed between the two of them. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Victor offered. “It's okay to say no if you don’t want to.”

Dick sighed and brushed his hair back with his fingers, tucking a few strands behind his ear. “Last night, I never…” He cleared his throat. “It’s hard for me to...”

“It’s all right. No judgment here,” reassured Victor.

Dick continued. “After we…After I stormed off, I kept replaying that night in my mind—the night Blockbuster died. I thought about how my actions, or lack thereof, led to what happened, to what Catalina...did.”

“I had a look at the files,” Victor interjected. “The police reports, the forensic evidence, the court readings, and everything pointed to Catalina, not you.”

Dick hadn’t even been charged. In fact, he’d been commended for bringing in Catalina and assisting the police with their investigation. Dick’s guilt stemmed more from his perceived moral failings than from any actual crimes committed.

“You’re right. She was the one to pull the trigger, but only because I gave her the chance,” Dick said. “If I hadn’t moved, if I had stood my ground, maybe things would’ve turned out differently.”

“Or maybe they would’ve played out the same,” reasoned Victor. “Catalina was twenty-six years old when she killed Blockbuster. She knew what she was doing. And she also knew what she was doing when she followed you onto that rooftop.”

Dick furrowed his brows and glanced away. “You don’t... You weren’t there. You can’t possibly know that.”

“She knew what she was doing,” Victor repeated.

He would repeat it as often as Dick needed him to.

“I-I might have led her on,” Dick defended. “She… she had kissed me before, in front of Babs. I pushed her away, but that night on the rooftop, I can’t recall if I… if I said no… or if I tried to…” His voice petered off.

Victor stood firm. “No one, and I mean no one, mistakes silence for a yes. You said it yourself, Dick; you were out of it. Catalina would’ve seen that. She knew you couldn’t consent.”

Dick was silent, unable to meet Victor’s eyes as he stared out at the porch. Sunlight danced across the room, lighting up everything it came into contact with. Slowly, Dick turned to face him, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“If I accept that’s true, then I…” he sniffed, “…then how can I call myself a hero? I couldn’t even protect myself…”

Victor couldn’t sit back any longer. He rushed forward and enveloped Dick in a bear-like hug, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Dick stiffened. Victor was about to release him when Dick melted into him, returning the embrace.

“You’re the best hero I know,” Victor whispered soothingly. “Nothing Catalina did can take that away from you.”

He felt dampness on his sleeve from where Dick leaned against him. They sat, holding each other for longer than either would admit. Dick sniffed and shifted his arms, signalling for Victor to let go. When they separated, Dick subtly wiped his face, pretending he hadn’t cried. 

“Thanks, I, um, needed that,” admitted Dick. He averted his gaze, feeling uncomfortable about the vulnerability he had shown.

“It’s okay,” Victor reassured him. Dick was far from okay, but he had already shared more than enough that morning. “You know,” he continued, “I find it helpful to have someone I can talk to regularly. It doesn’t necessarily have to be me or anyone you know; it could be a therapist.”

Dick grimaced, clearly not liking the sound of that.

“It’s more common than you think,” Victor said knowingly. He’d been speaking with a therapist for years. “I, uh, I’m actually seeing a therapist here in Detroit. Her name’s Dr. Sutton, and she specialises in metahumans. If you’d like, I could give her your number?”

“I’m not so sure…” Dick trailed off.

“You don’t need to decide anything right now, but just promise me you’ll think about it.”

“I—okay.”

It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

“There’s one last thing I wanted to discuss,” Victor added. “I think you should share some of this with Barbara.”

Dick sat up straight, his brows furrowed. “I can’t—"

“She thinks you’ve cheated,” interrupted Victor, expecting such a reaction. “If you shared the truth with her—not everything, mind you, just some of the details—then it could benefit both of you.”

Dick clenched his fists into tight balls. The tendons stood out sharply against his skin, alongside years-old scars that had faded to white.

“What if…” Dick took a deep breath. “What if she doesn’t believe me? I’m not even sure she’ll give me the time of day. She hasn’t spoken to me since we broke up.”

“I don’t know,” Victor replied honestly. “But the Barbara I know, the one who grew up alongside us, would take the time to listen.”

Dick slowly unclenched his hands as he contemplated Victor's words. Barbara wasn’t a bad person. She might be stubborn, argumentative, and a bit nosy, but she was good at heart. That’s why Dick had dated her in the first place: they shared the same desire to help those in need.

Finally, after a lengthy silence, Dick conceded. “I’ll try. She deserves to know the truth.”

“And so do you, Dick. It’s your truth, too.”

They exchanged a knowing smile. This was a truth shared only between them, a truth that Dick had clung to for years, a truth that was finally ready to be set free.

“Thanks, Vic, for everything.”

“Anytime, man. I mean it,” said Victor. “I’m always just a Boom Tube away.”

Victor hoped Dick felt reassured knowing he had someone in his corner, someone who would always be there for him. As long as he was around, Dick would never have to struggle alone again.

 

Notes:

Thanks for reading!! As always, I’m happy to receive feedback. I love discussing my works and the themes mentioned throughout.