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Kunigami doesn’t know why he agrees.
When Ego first announced that they would be let out of the facility for Christmas and New Year’s, he wasn’t even planning on leaving. He’s aware that his family definitely misses him, but he still doesn’t know how to face them just yet. (A pang of guilt always hits him when he thinks of them. They’re definitely watching the matches; how must they feel, seeing him like this?)
It’s just, Christmas, New Year’s… All of that seems trivial in the face of what he’s gone through now. Besides, while everyone else is out for the holidays, it’s the perfect chance for him to get a leg up in the competition, right? If Ego taught him anything in Wild Card, it’s that you should never get complacent. Kunigami is only replaceable, after all—there’s always others right behind you who seek to deceive you, beat you, and crush you underneath their feet. You just have to be the one who gets there first.
It wasn’t anything new anyway, he reasons with himself. When everyone else got a break after the U20 match, he was still stuck training in Blue Lock. Yeah, let everyone else go have their fun. He doesn’t need that.
His perfectly constructed plan is immediately halted when he sees Bachira bounding towards him from a distance, and the only thought that comes to mind is oh no. That hasn’t changed since the very first day he’s met the energetic boy, and probably never will.
Bachira bounces to a stop in front of him and immediately exclaims, very loudly, “Hey, Kunigami! Let’s hang out during this winter break!” Kunigami scrunches up his nose. What happened to “hello”? “How are you”? Not that Kunigami would’ve reacted very favorably to those either though.
He could just ignore Bachira, but that would probably do nothing. He could turn around and walk in the other direction, but Bachira would just follow behind incessantly. “Not interested.” He eventually mutters, ready to leave. However, before he can, Bachira jumps forward and clings onto Kunigami’s arms, effectively locking him in place. He grins happily.
“Nuh-uh! What I said wasn’t a question, hero! You are going to hang out with us, whether you like it or not! Who else would you spend time with on the days off?”
Kunigami twitches in annoyance and tries to look past the old nickname. No one, he thinks. I have no intention of even leaving here and wasting my time on stupid things that won’t benefit me. This interaction has gone on for way longer than he’s wanted it to, and he’s about to snap back an insult or something of the sort when he thinks about what Bachira said and realizes something. “Wait, us?”
“Mhm! Of course it’s not just me! It’s gonna be an Egoist Four outing! You, me, Isagi, and Chigirin, all having fun together!” He nods excitedly as if this sweetens the deal. It does not; in fact, it only adds on to Kunigami’s dread. Just Bachira would be enough. The rest of them? He’s already had a taste of that when Chigiri came over to the German stratum and the three of them persuaded him into doing a practice match.
(It wasn’t bad, a small voice in the back of his head says. It was fun, playing with them again. He couldn’t stop the warmth that spread inside him when Bachira first referred to them as the Egoist Four, solidified them as a group, a group of friends. He’s always wanted that, he thinks.)
Well, Isagi is fine, he has to say. They’re on the same team and he has enough tact, most of the time, to just leave Kunigami alone. But Chigiri is a whole other story. He’s shameless, naïve, and always leaves an odd, wound up feeling in Kunigami’s chest.
He doesn’t want to do things with them. Hell, why were they always so dead-set on inviting him? Really, what does he have to offer? His presence would just make everything awkward. Wouldn’t they have just as much of a good time, if not more, without him?
They already left him behind once. They can do it again. He wants them to.
Kunigami cuts off his own thoughts and is about to fling Bachira right off of him when more footsteps start approaching. He couldn’t control the resigned sigh that comes out of his mouth as he recognizes the all too familiar voice that calls out “Bachira!” When one comes, another is sure to follow.
Isagi is running towards them with Chigiri right behind him. Of course. They’re all in on this. Here come the other idiots.
“So, did you convince him?” Kunigami can’t help but swerve his gaze to Isagi, unimpressed. Based on the way that Bachira’s hanging off of him, does it look like he’s been convinced? And no, he’s not going to be convinced.
“Nope! But we’re getting there.” Bachira replies breezily. “I’m not giving him a chance to decline! Come onnnnn,” he gazes back to Kunigami and great, now he’s pouting (not that it will work). “It won’t be the same without youuuu!!! We’ve already hung out together in Shibuya! Everyone was there except you!”
Isagi nods and makes fervent, determined noises of agreement from behind Bachira, but oddly enough, Chigiri stays quiet, only observing the situation with an unreadable expression. When Kunigami glances at him, they make eye contact for a split second and—he starts walking forward.
“Come on, Bachira, let’s go.” Chigiri says, looking strangely apathetic. It kind of reminds Kunigami of the pre-awakened Chigiri from Team Z (he really shouldn’t think back to those times). “If he’s really that committed to being a difficult asshole, then there’s no point trying to change his mind.” He pulls Bachira off of Kunigami, and there’s a momentary sense of relief, yet why does Kunigami feel so uneasy all of a sudden?
Surprisingly, Bachira lets go with little resistance now, and the three start walking away from Kunigami without another word. This is different. Unfamiliar. But isn’t this what he wanted? Chigiri turns back to give him an icy look, before sighing again and tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.
“You know,” he says nonchalantly, “it’s not just Christmas and New Year’s that we’re celebrating. The 23rd is my birthday, didn’t I tell you? Oh, I guess you forgot. Not surprised.”
Instantaneously, it feels like cold water is being dumped over his head as a memory rushes back to him.
“When’s your birthday?”
Everyone else was fast asleep, dozing into their futons after a day of intense training. Kunigami had come to bed later than everyone else after doing extra sets in the weight room, and didn’t expect anyone to still be awake. Just as he slipped under the covers, letting his sore muscles rest and waiting for the comfort of sleep to envelop him, a voice beside him belonging to a pretty redhead had called him back to wakefulness. After a few minutes of casual chatter, the topic of birthdays came up.
“Uh, it’s March 11th. What about you?”
“December 23rd.”
“Oh! That’s pretty close to Christmas.”
Chigiri had made a petulant face which Kunigami found rather cute. “I knew you would say that, stupid hero. Everyone says that. People have tried to get me one gift for both days, you know. Can you imagine? My birthday isn’t even on Christmas. The audacity.”
Kunigami couldn’t help but chuckle. Of course Chigiri would get upset over something like that. “Well, I wouldn’t.”
As soon as the statement left his mouth, Chigiri’s raised an eyebrow and his eyes widened almost unnoticeably. A silence overtook them. Kunigami couldn’t help the flush that rose onto his face, hoping it wasn’t noticeable in the dark. What he said just now was a little… Too much, right? They haven’t known each other for that long yet, and he was basically saying they were close enough to celebrate birthdays together. Crap, that is a little weird. Or is he overthinking?
Before he could say something else to amend his words, Chigiri let out a laugh, his eyes amused and sincere.
“Of course, since you’re such the gentleman, right? I’ll be counting on it then, hero. Make the presents good.” Then, seemingly done with the conversation, he flipped over abruptly and pulled the covers up. “Alright then, goodnight.”
“O-oh. Good…night?”
After a few stunned moments, he turned around too, so he wasn’t staring at Chigiri’s back like a fool.
…What was that? Well, for one, he’s now obligated to get Chigiri presents, which is fine, but—there was something in the other’s words that felt a bit… He doesn’t even know. Chigiri’s laughter resounds in his mind, and he realizes that he doesn’t hate the sound at all.
If Kunigami had trouble sleeping that night despite his exhaustion, well, nobody has to know.
Ah. That did happen.
He kind of wants to hit his past self, saying ignorant things like that. And yet, it was such a simple thing back then. So innocent. Of course he and Chigiri were going to keep playing soccer together. Why not? Of course them, along with the rest of Team Z, were going to make it through Blue Lock. Then, they would stay friends, and do fun things together.
It didn’t occur to him that anything could go wrong. Even with the harsh and new environment, he was having such a good time.
What stupid ideals.
Chigiri raises an eyebrow at him, and it’s such a familiar look, as if waiting for him to remember. Kunigami shouldn’t fall for it. So what if he doesn’t keep his word? Things have changed. He’s changed. He doesn’t owe anything to Chigiri. And yet…
Chigiri’s smile was still ingrained in his mind. The way his eyes would turn upwards, his cheeks would glow a faint pink, it was all so vivid. Kunigami wanted to make him smile again.
He grits his teeth. Well, it won’t be that bad, his inner voice supplies. There’s merits to this whole thing too.
“Fine.”
“Hm? What was that? I can’t hear you.”
“Fine. I’ll hang out with you, idiot trio.”
At once the atmosphere around them changes as all three of them turn back around to look at him—Isagi with a face of disbelief, Bachira with a beam, and Chigiri—
Chigiri wore the most devilish, smug smile Kunigami has ever seen, as if saying I got you.
Oh. The cold front, it was all a trick.
And he fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker. Maybe he was the real idiot all along. (But strangely enough, looking at their gleeful faces, it didn’t feel too bad.)
As if reading his thoughts, Bachira jumped on him, laughing. “We all heard what you just said! No take-backs now!”
Kunigami groaned, but relented. They were going to pester him all the time anyway, so there’s no point fighting against them.
“You don’t have anywhere to stay, right?” Isagi says suddenly, looking thoughtful. “Since Chigiri’s sister’s has a place in Tokyo, we were just going to stay there, and it can probably fit all of us if we try.”
Kunigami turns towards Chigiri with an inquiring gaze, and the latter nods. “She’s going back to Kagoshima during winter break. She really, really wanted to get me to go back home too, but once she heard I was going to spend time with friends, she was elated and even offered up her place.”
Oh, that reminded him. “Don’t any of you have to see your families? You don’t plan to just play every single day, do you?”
“Oh, yeah, let me remember what we settled on. Uh, we get out on the 20th, so we’re going to spend some time relaxing, the 23rd is Chigiri’s birthday, and we’ll probably do something on Christmas Eve and Christmas.” Isagi gestures vaguely with his hands. “Then Bachira and I are going back to our homes for the rest of the break. That’s the arrangement so far.”
Kunigami scowls. They really decided all that without even asking him, without knowing if he would agree. But hold on, if Bachira and Isagi leave basically halfway through, then what about him and Chigiri?
“And while those two are gone, we’ll have some nice bonding time, just the two of us.” Chigiri cuts in, looking at him, and wait, Kunigami didn’t say anything about that. “Like Isagi said, you don’t have anywhere to go, right? Don’t tell me you’re going back to Akita, because I know you’re not. It’s easiest for you to just stay with me.”
“I can just come back here.” Staying alone with Chigiri for a week? He might’ve been thrilled about this possibility before, but now it’s just horrifying.
Chigiri scoffs. “Sure you will. Seriously, you need a break from Blue Lock.” His voice sounds the same as always, but the way he looks up at Kunigami is just a tinge too soft, too gentle. “We’ve roomed together before, and you didn’t have a problem then. It’ll be fun, trust me.”
He hates the feeling that they’re accommodating him, in a way. To others, he must seem like an unreasonable, ungrateful problem child who’s always being coddled by his friends.
So he gives in. “…Fine.”
How’s Kunigami supposed to deny them when they’re always so kind and understanding? In their presence, he finally feels normal again. He feels comfortable.
The way they care about him is different from the way Ego cares about him. Ego’s care was cold, distant, and proper. He knew all of Kunigami’s specs, his fears and how to control them, but he never truly understood or looked at Kunigami. All he wanted to see what Noel Noa.
Even though he’s changed, these guys… They still see him as Kunigami, right?
That night, as he crawls into bed, he feels lighter, somehow. Finally, he has something to look forward to, and the usual restlessness that seeps through his body when he tries to sleep isn’t there anymore.
Waking up the next morning doesn’t feel like as much of a drag as it usually does. Well, Kunigami’s sure that he gets up the earliest out of everyone on his team on any day regardless, and he doesn’t have the option to slack off even if he wants to. Today, however, it feels less tedious than usual.
When he gets up, he realizes that his roommate is already awake and is looking at him inquisitively.
“You slept earlier yesterday, Kunigami.” Kiyora remarks, his tone flat like it always is. “You’re always up so late, training.” Training, Kunigami had quickly discovered, was an easy way to avoid his insomniac problems. Muscle training was always a form of distraction for him, and Ego had enabled that heavily. To his teammates, though, he probably just came off as really diligent.
“Mhm.” Kunigami doesn’t pay Kiyora much attention, going on with his usual morning routine. They don’t talk a lot, only the occasional “good morning” or “where did you put my towel”, and that arrangement suits them well enough. Kunigami probably would’ve lost his mind by now if he had to stay with Isagi’s little group or worse, Raichi or Igaguri.
“Something good happen to you?”
A pause. “You could say that.”
“Well, that’s good.” Kiyora nods to himself. “I’m getting kind of tired of your brooding shtick, and also with how Chigiri thinks he can ask me for help just because we were on the same team once. ‘Kiyora, you’re Kunigami’s roommate right? Hey, tell me this about him.’ As if I would know. I hope you guys work out whatever’s going on between you two over the break.”
Before Kunigami can process what he just said, Kiyora slips out of room without another word.
The next few days pass in a blur, but things are changing.
The atmosphere inside the stratums seem a lot more cheery, and some of the other players have even started decorating the place.
Kunigami has no idea where they even got such a thing, but he watches Raichi, Yukimiya, and Kurona argue over how to decorate a mini Christmas tree while Hiori laughs from the corner. Lately, Isagi has also been hanging around him more, and the mood between them has been less apprehensive than it was before. It’s feels nice. He’s allowing himself to acknowledge that.
Eventually, December 20th rolls around and they can finally get out of this place. Everyone is lined up and loaded onto the Blue Lock buses, Anri checking off each player as they get on. When it’s his turn, she looks a little surprised at first but quickly switches to a smile.
“I was almost worried you were going to stay for the break, Kunigami! Take care of yourself, okay?” Kunigami nods, not able to look her in the eye. He has some complicated feelings about Anri, but even if she supports everything that Ego did to him, she’s still a lot kinder and he knows she genuinely wants the best for him.
He murmurs a clumsy goodbye and walks into the bus with his bag in tow, immediately recognizing most of the faces that are already seated. He can’t help himself as he shoots a glance at Reo; he was sitting with Nagi in one of the seats closest to the front and was happily explaining something to him, so distracted he didn’t even notice Kunigami had entered. He feels happy for Reo, but it does leave a bittersweet feeling inside his chest. He feels as if it were just yesterday that he and Chigiri were consoling him, saying things like it’s okay Reo you’re so much better than that guy, you don’t need him!
Kunigami shakes his head, feeling embarrassed with himself all of a sudden. Crap, is it possible that all this “holiday joy” and “end-of-year sentimentality” is really getting to him? He shouldn’t be reminiscing on the past like this, knowing he can never go back.
He keeps walking down the row, looking for an empty seat, when a hand reaches out and latches onto his arm. He’s not surprised when he turns to the side and it’s Chigiri, patting the empty seat next to him.
“Kunigami, sit with me! I saved this seat for you.”
As if he even had the choice to say no, with Chigiri’s firm grasp and expectant voice. They’ll be together for the next two weeks anyway so why not start now. Sure. He’s done fighting with them, as it’s fruitless anyway. Kunigami slumps into the space beside Chigiri and puts his single duffle bag underneath his seat. It’s not hard to see that Chigiri packed way more than him, with three whole bags, and he looked more put together too. His hair was tied into a high ponytail, and Kunigami had to admit, it looked good. He turned away, not letting his gaze linger, feeling awkward.
The Blue Lock buses were spacious, so why were they still so close? It feels like no matter how he tries to shift (as subtly as he can, of course), they’re still touching in some way, whether it was the way their knees knocked together or their shoulders pushing against each other.
Kunigami was somewhat glad about the fact that Chigiri didn’t try to make any conversation. He was simply scrolling through his phone, doing who-knows-what. Kunigami is painfully aware of how he’s the only one bothered by any of this. There used to be a time where they were close enough that they simply slotted together naturally. Silences weren’t tense, physical contact wasn’t even notable enough to be noticed. Perhaps for Chigiri, that hasn’t changed at all, and Kunigami envies that.
To him, his relationship with Chigiri and everyone else has already been warped, changed ever so slightly to the point where he can’t perceive it the same way again. God, he’s just so on edge with them all the time. He doesn’t know how to stop.
But Chigiri is a little different. Because Kunigami has always been more attentive with the way he interacted with Chigiri, consciously and subconsciously. There has always been a simple answer to why that is, but it makes Kunigami’s face hot and he doesn’t want to think about it. Doesn’t want to consider it again after he beat that possibility out of his head.
His thoughts are, thankfully, cut short as the bus moves into motion, and he closes his eyes. Maybe a short little nap would do him well. Everyone always talked about his eyebags since he came back from Wild Card, so—
“Kunigami, look at this.”
Chigiri shakes him up and holds his phone in front of Kunigami’s face, making him squint. He grumbles as his vision focuses and sees a post with an image of a black cat plush.
He looks at Chigiri pointedly. “Why are you showing me this?”
“I just think it’s cute.”
“And why do I need to see it?”
Chigiri rolls his eyes. “I don’t need a reason to show you something. It’s called being friends. Ooh, look, there’s a polar bear one. You like polar bears, right?”
Kunigami does like polar bears, and for some reason, his heart speeds up a bit as he realizes that Chigiri remembers. Is Chigiri usually one to remember the trivial likes and dislikes of his friends? Kunigami honestly doesn’t know.
“It’s cute.” He says at last, and Chigiri moves away again, satisfied. They don’t speak after that and Kunigami watches from the corner of his eye as Bachira force-feeds Isagi something from the seats diagonal to them. At least some things haven’t changed. (And Chigiri likes to pretend that nothing’s changed between them, but that’s not true.)
The bus drops people off in small groups in different areas, probably to prevent the chaos that would undoubtedly unfold if they let over thirty now-recognizable soccer players get off at the same place. The stop that Kunigami and the others get off at is somewhere near the edges of Shibuya.
Immediately, Kunigami comes to the realization that he’s become the designated bag carrier, which is fine, he supposes. Isagi quickly and graciously says that he’ll carry his stuff himself, but Bachira and Chigiri dump their luggage on him like it’s nothing.
They stand there for a bit as they stretch their legs and Chigiri pulls up the directions. All in all, his sister’s place isn’t too close nor too far, about a good half hour of walking away. To four soccer players, it’s a piece of cake.
Kunigami is happy to keep moving, as it’s pretty cold out and means he doesn’t need to really say anything. Bachira keeps the group lively with chatter until they arrive at the place, climbing stairs until they reach the third floor. Chigiri leads them to the correct door and fishes a key out of his coat pocket, opening the door for them.
“The electricity should be on… Ah, I’ll go turn the heat up. You guys just leave your shoes right there and put on some slippers! She should’ve left some on the rack!” Chigiri runs ahead as Kunigami puts down the bags onto the floor, catching a breath.
“Woah, this place is pretty nice.” Isagi comments, looking around. “Where should we leave our stuff?”
“On the ground or the couch for now!” Chigiri calls back.
After everything’s situated, the talk about sleeping arrangements begin.
“I’ll sleep in the bed. Then one person sleeps on the couch, and we’ve got a few futons we can pull out.” Chigiri pauses, looking at them. “Unless one of you wants to share the bed with me? Two can probably fit, and my sister won’t mind.”
“Oh, I know! You can Kunigami can sleep together! Then I get the couch, and Isagi gets the futon!” Bachira laughs and Kunigami glares at him, quickly objecting.
“I’m good, actually.”
“You sure?” Now Chigiri is smirking. “You know Kunigami, it wouldn’t bother me.” There’s a teasing lilt to his voice, and Kunigami can feel his face getting warmer, which pisses him off.
“Whatever. I’ll take the couch, and those two soccer idiots can sleep on the floor.”
“Hey!”
“What did I do?!”
That’s what you get, Kunigami thinks again as Bachira sets up a futon at one corner of the living room later that night. Chigiri had gone to sleep already, citing that he was tired, and Isagi was still in the bath, so it was just them two. The couch was pretty comfortable, even with his height, especially with the two pillows and heavy blanket Chigiri had brought out.
“Hmm. Kunigami, I have an honest question for you.” Bachira suddenly says. Kunigami looks up, wary, but Bachira actually has a straight face this time. It’s almost solemn. “You have to answer honestly.”
Kunigami hesitantly nods. This is different.
“Okay, so, do you like Chigirin?”
Bachira did not hold back at all. If Kunigami had something in his mouth, he would’ve spit it out. In fact, his face was probably more expressive than it has been in weeks, eyes blown wide in shock. The worst part is that Bachira is not quiet in the slightest, and Chigiri is literally a wall away.
“What? What the hell are you saying?”
“I said what I said. So?”
Kunigami only stares at him in astonishment, not knowing what to respond with. “Like” is an incredibly vague term. Kunigami doesn’t know what exactly Bachira is referring to, and he does not know what kind of answer Bachira wants, or is expecting.
Kunigami “likes” Chigiri. Well, they’re friends, right? As the other three had been trying to convince him this whole time. Even if he hasn’t wanted to admit it, he likes all of them. But the way Kunigami likes Chigiri isn’t the same way he likes Isagi and Bachira, and he’s pretty sure Bachira’s “like” runs deeper than platonic feelings.
Fuck, why’s Bachira making him feel so flustered with a simple question? Just say no!
Maybe he doesn’t even mean it the way Kunigami thinks he means it, but how else should one interpret this?
It reminds him of times in the first and second selection, when Kunigami was more honest with himself. It reminds him of times when he would lie in the dark, and that same question would pop into mind.
Do I like Chigiri?
He didn’t think anything of it back then. So what if he did like Chigiri in a more-than-platonic way? He’ll unpack that later! He doesn’t have time to worry about stuff like that! He didn’t come to Blue Lock for romance, he came for soccer. So first, he’ll focus on becoming the best striker.
Yet now, when he’s faced with that same question, he can’t help but tense up and it feels like there’s a weight crushing him, a cord wrapping tightly around his throat. It’s grating. It hurts, it feels like he’s running out of time. Things have changed, and his old feelings have changed too. They’re a liability, now. A weakness. Something someone can exploit and use against him. They’ve become foreign to Kunigami himself and that scares him more than he would ever want to admit.
Back then, maybe he would’ve entertained the thought of a future together with Chigiri. Now, he can’t even imagine something like that anymore.
They sit in silence, until finally, Bachira speaks up again, but this time quieter.
“Because I’m pretty sure Chigirin likes you.”
And in that split second, Kunigami opens his mouth to say something, anything, to deny Bachira’s words, to justify himself—
But Isagi chooses to walk out of the bathroom right then, and oh, Kunigami has never been more happy to see him. Anything to get out of this topic.
Bachira seems to see that Kunigami isn’t going to respond or talk about it anymore, so he only shrugs and smiles all carefree again.
“Well, that’s all my speculation based on what I’ve seen! I’m wishing you luck, hero!” Bachira bleh’s at him, sticking out his tongue, and runs back to his own futon.
Isagi glances between the two of them and tilts his head, clueless and confused, but Kunigami only shakes his head and grunts, lying back on the couch. He’s starting to regret this whole thing, and he definitely curses Bachira’s keen senses. He always thought that someone who’s that happy-go-lucky wouldn’t be so attentive towards others, but he was wrong. Bachira can be strangely observant and introspective when he wants to be. He wonders if that’s what being alone for so long does to you.
Kunigami turns a moment later and looks down only to see Isagi settling himself right next to the couch, and he exhales a breath in disbelief.
“Do you really have to sleep right here? If I roll off, you’d get crushed.”
“I just think it’s a cozy spot!” Isagi protests. “Besides, you won’t. Bachira, can you get the lights on that side? Thanks. Alright, goodnight, guys.”
“Goodnight! Ah, it feels good to be somewhere that feels like home, even if it’s someone else’s.”
Bachira’s right, even with the entire place bathed in darkness and the unfamiliar surroundings, it’s still pretty calming. Kunigami tries to sleep, but it’s always been hard for him to doze off at new places, so he just lies there. Bachira’s words pop up in his mind unprompted like a pest that won’t leave him alone.
“Because I’m pretty sure Chigirin likes you.”
It leaves a heavy weight of something akin to anxiety at the pit of his stomach.
He groans into his pillow. Of course Chigiri likes him to some extent, otherwise he wouldn’t have stuck with him for so long and put up with Kunigami’s awful attitude. He was the one that sought him out the most even when Kunigami would only respond with silence and insults. Kunigami is also aware that he hasn’t been treating him or any of his other friends well, but it’s not because he hates them.
It’s just safer for there to be some distance between them. For them to realize that Kunigami has really changed, that the old, perfect and ideal hero isn’t there anymore. Kunigami can’t live up to that anymore, no matter how hard he tries, and he just doesn’t want them to be disappointed in him.
Just like no matter how hard he tries, he’ll never truly be the Noel Noa Ego wants. Even if he trains, changes everything, deep inside he’ll still always be Kunigami Rensuke. The Kunigami Rensuke who couldn’t make it past the second selection, wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t good enough—
“Hey, Kunigami?” A whisper rises up from beside him. Kunigami instinctively knows he shouldn’t respond, he should just pretend to be asleep, but wait, why? When were these arbitrary rules drilled into his head?
Aren’t you tired of being so on edge all the time? Aren’t they your friends?
“…What is it?”
There’s a pause, as if Isagi had really thought that he was asleep or something.
“Oh, uh, I just wanted to say that I’m really happy we’re able to all spend time together like this. Even just today has been really fun.” Another pause. “You know, I really thought we wouldn’t be able to get you to come. Sure, it would’ve been fine with just the three of us, but it would’ve felt a little empty.”
Kunigami suppresses a snort. Give it to Isagi to start a heartfelt conversation in the middle of the night. “Is that all you want to say?”
“Yeah? I’m expressing appreciation for you!” Kunigami can hear the smile in Isagi’s voice. “Really. I’m glad you decided to come, Kunigami.”
One second. Two seconds. Kunigami sighs.
“Well, I’m glad I came too. Goodnight, Isagi.”
The next day is mostly uneventful. Chigiri wakes up last and takes up the most time in the bathroom, as expected. Bachira and Isagi try to make breakfast. Kunigami ends up with two slices of toast, one soggy, one burnt, and he doesn’t want to ask.
Since it’s only the first day of their break, they all decide to take it easy. Well, mostly.
“Ugh, can you believe it? Making me do her laundry! Isn’t this the type of thing you should do before you leave your own apartment?”
Chigiri drags out a basket of clothing, complaining about his sister (who Kunigami learns is named Koyuki) the whole time. Kunigami purses his lips, not knowing if he should respond or not. There’s still this one-sided tension hanging between them, but sometimes, traces of the ways they used to be leak through the cracks.
“Well, she did lend her apartment out to four teenage boys. And you’re her brother.”
Chigiri frowns. “You’re supposed to be on my side here. You don’t want to be doing this either, do you?”
“I do my sisters’ laundry all the time back at home. This is nothing new.”
“Ah, of course, ever the gentleman.”
That afternoon, when Chigiri received long texts detailing all the chores Koyuki wanted him to do, Isagi also received a barrage of texts: outing invitations from their Blue Lock peers. Right, Kunigami had forgotten just how popular Isagi was. No matter how many enemies he made on the field, he had double the amount of allies always backing him up (Kunigami may or may not fall under that category as well).
“Sorry, Chigiri, I really do want to help.” Isagi looked like he genuinely felt bad as he left the apartment, Bachira in tow. Of course, wherever Isagi went, Bachira had to follow. Or the latter just wanted to skip out on the chores. Probably both. “It’s just, Hiori and the others, they really want me to—”
“Yeah, yeah, just go.” Chigiri waved him off. “Besides, I still have Kunigami, don’t I? It’ll be fine. Have fun.”
So they worked, Chigiri grumbling about the lack of so called “team spirit” the whole way through. They practically collapse on the couch once they’re finally done, or at least Chigiri does.
“Man, Kunigami, I sure am glad you’re here.” Chigiri should be. Truth be told, Kunigami did most of the labor back there, but he’s pretty sure that’s not the part Chigiri is referring to. “I’m already third wheeling Reo and Nagi all the time as it is, and if you weren’t here? I’d be third wheeling Isagi and Bachira too. Simply awful.” He shudders.
“Or they’d leave you alone like they did today.”
“That’s why I have you, right?” Chigiri grins, and it’s so charming— “My hero. What would I do without you?”
And these are the moments that have confused Kunigami, that leave his brain reeling, ever since they first met. The nicknames, the smiles, the casually possessive “my”, everything. Is that just how he is, or is he flirting? Ever since the beginning, Chigiri leaves him guessing, catching his breath, running to catch up. He wonders if Chigiri thinks about these things, recites them in his head and hypes himself up in order to say them, because that’s definitely what Kunigami had to do back then to say anything remotely teasing.
It’s stupid, but the fact that Kunigami could’ve gotten it all wrong, Chigiri is just joking, none of this means a thing— that fear has a cold grip on him. Is it rational? Probably not. His emotions are his greatest weakness. But Kunigami doesn’t want anything to change. He wanted to protect himself by isolating himself, but things are already different. He’s allowing himself to contemplate old memories, to think about Chigiri as something more than a really pretty yet annoying ex-teammate.
It’s shocking how comfortable he’s become with Isagi, Bachira, and Chigiri again after only a short period of time, especially with how strongly he dismissed them before. Ego would probably call him soft, remind him to focus on greater goals, but as Kunigami drifts off that night, he finds that he doesn’t quite care. That nagging voice in his head becomes a little quieter.
The next morning, it rains, so they all decide to stay in again. However, in the afternoon, Kunigami, Isagi, and Bachira leave Chigiri by himself at home to “go out and get some fresh air”.
Because, well, as it turns out, none of them had gotten Chigiri any gifts.
“Come on, don’t look at us like that! We were in Blue Lock the whole time, when were we going to be able to buy presents?” Isagi protests as they speed walk their way through the streets to the nearest mall. “Besides, you didn’t get anything either.”
“I wasn’t planning on celebrating his birthday with him until now anyway.”
“Guys, look on the bright side! This is a chance to do some Christmas shopping too!” Bachira leads the way with a grin. Isagi groans.
“Bachira, stop jumping in the puddles, you’re getting me wet.”
Thankfully, Chigiri didn’t seem too suspicious of them when they left. The rain was good too, as it decreased the chances he would want to go with them. To be honest, Kunigami doesn’t think Chigiri cares about when they get the gifts as long as they get them, but he definitely would’ve mocked them for waiting till the last minute.
Chigiri’s birthday being right next to Christmas is definitely a hassle though, because now Kunigami needs two gifts, and he still barely knows what Chigiri likes. Definitely cats and books, but that’s about all he knows. Oh, and he needs to get Isagi and Bachira something too. This was definitely testing how much he knew them, and the gaps in his knowledge were apparent.
In the end, Isagi buys some premium hair supplies, and Bachira gets a book.
“Reocchi told me that Chigiri likes this book, and turns out it’s discounted! Isn’t that perfect?” He lifts up the colorful bags in his hands. “And for Christmas, I think I’ll just get him some fresh karinto manju! You can’t go wrong with someone’s favorite food.”
“Is it too redundant if I get him shampoo for his birthday, and conditioner for Christmas…?” Isagi murmurs to himself briefly. “Oh yeah, Kunigami, what did you get him?”
“…Some skincare products.” It’s not Kunigami’s proudest or most personal gift, but when it comes to Chigiri, at least it’s something he’s sure to like. Kunigami didn’t really know what brands Chigiri liked or commonly bought from, so he just got the ones that he remembers buying for his older sister. Thinking about her still makes him feel a little guilty; he decides that he’ll at least send a few messages back home to let them know he’s alright before the end of the year.
“What about the Christmas present?” Isagi asks.
Good question. Kunigami had been thinking about that too. After wracking his brain trying to come up with something Chigiri would like, he eventually wandered to the other side of the mall and a certain “store” caught his eye. Or moreso, something inside the store.
“Let’s just say I have a plan.” Kunigami tells him. “Isagi, instead of going directly home after tomorrow’s dinner, let’s stop here again. I’m adding another activity to our itinerary.”
“Huh? I mean, sure, but where?” Isagi seems puzzled, so Kunigami leads the group up one floor until they came to the location he was referring to.
It was an arcade, the entrance decorated in big, bright neon letters and decorations. A little bit farther in was the object that caught his attention.
A claw machine filled with adorable plushes of all kinds of animals, but most importantly, the exact same cat plush that Chigiri had showed him on the bus the day before yesterday. It may have just been a throwaway comment saying they’re cute, but it wouldn’t be bad to show Chigiri that he cared, right?
Chigiri seems like an uncaring guy on the outside, but he remembered others’ favorite animals and birthdays even if they only mentioned it once. Kunigami once overheard Barou saying that Chigiri himself stated that while he may be difficult, he gets along “surprisingly well with the people he likes” and Bachira’s words resurface in his mind again like an intrusive thought.
“Because I’m pretty sure Chigirin likes you.”
Well, if that’s really true, then he just has to reciprocate the same sentiment in turn, right?
“Those claw machines have a plush that Chigiri likes.” Kunigami explains simply. “So instead of getting it now, I figured we would come back tomorrow and all play. I’ll win it for him, and that’ll be his present.” Isagi ohh’s in understanding while Bachira claps Kunigami back, laughing.
“That’s our hero, thinking of how to impress the princess straight up, huh?” Since when did Bachira delight in poking fun of him this much? He’s definitely trying to pull some wingman shit. Kunigami only gives a tch in response, trying his best to ignore how his ears are probably reddening right now. That was definitely not his intention, he wasn’t even thinking about it, honest! He’s never even played crane games before, so how’s he supposed to impress Chigiri—
Oh god, what if he fails miserably and embarrasses himself in front of all of them?
He cuts off that train of thought, hanging his head with a groan and simply prays it’ll all go okay.
(When they go back to the apartment, they hide everything they bought underneath their coats, and somehow Chigiri is too busy complaining about how they took too long to notice. However, when Kunigami and Chigiri brush their teeth together that night, Chigiri grins cheekily and says, “Guess I’ve got a lot to look forward to tomorrow, huh?” Kunigami doesn’t tell him that his real gift is still a surprise.)
The morning of Chigiri’s birthday is bustling. As always, Chigiri sleeps in, so they’re able to set up the morning surprises relatively well. Bachira decorates the place with balloons he got yesterday while Isagi and Kunigami try their very best to make soufflé pancakes that look good.
They all agree to absolutely spoil Chigiri if only for the fun of it, so Bachira brushes Chigiri’s teeth while Isagi combs through his long hair. Kunigami is then in charge of feeding him, and is apparently not too good at it.
(“Open.”
“Mmfh… Kunigami, I’m not done with the previous bite!”
Kunigami groans internally. Why don’t they make Bachira do this? He feeds Isagi all the time. It is probably his fault for going too fast though; at least to him, this act is oddly intimate (and awkward) that he’s just trying to get it over with as soon as possible. “Chew faster then?”
“I’m tryin—mrgh?!”
Later, Chigiri laughs in the background when Bachira delivers an extremely serious lecture to Kunigami about “mistreating the birthday boy”, which, personally, is immensely unfair considering that Isagi never looks particularly comfortable when Bachira feeds him either but whatever.)
Dinner at the fancy yakiniku place goes well, with Isagi and Bachira passing on their gifts smoothly. Kunigami would never say it out loud, but it was cute when Chigiri’s eyes lit up at the sight of the new book, and when he went on and on about all the perks of the shampoo Isagi got. At the end of the meal, Chigiri fixes Kunigami with an expectant gaze and an eager smile.
“Weeell? Where’s my gift, hero?” He’s leaning way to close into Kunigami’s personal space, but two can play at that game.
“Patience, princess, or you’re getting nothing at all.” The old nickname feels unfamiliar (and honestly a little cringy) on his tongue from disuse, but Chigiri doesn’t seem perturbed by it at all. “It’s at the next place.”
“Mm, okay. What are we waiting for then?” He gets up swiftly without a care in the world and Kunigami resists the urge to roll his eyes. Of course the one guy who doesn’t have to pay tonight says that. Well, he says that, but he still can’t look away from the pleased gleam in Chigiri’s eyes, and he realizes.
Ah, he must be really happy to be spending his birthday with all of us.
Kunigami had forgotten what Chigiri’s life must’ve been like before he came to Blue Lock. He had gotten used to the bright, confident and friendly Chigiri so much over time that he looked past the struggles he had. He doesn’t think Chigiri had any friends, especially not after he tore his ACL, which means that this all must be new to him as well.
Not only him, but everyone else here too. Isagi mentioned not really being close to anyone back at home, and Bachira was open about his loneliness and being bullied prior to Blue Lock. To an outsider looking in, Kunigami’s problems now probably don’t even compare. He just looks like an edgy, brooding weirdo who’s ungrateful for his kind friends who always take care to include him. But that’s exactly it, right?
Isagi, Bachira, Chigiri—they all accept him and take him seriously like before. He’s an equal to them. Not someone too distant to be reached or someone too fragile to be touched. If Kunigami were to open up to them, he knows that they’ll listen to him sincerely with no ulterior motives. The realization is daunting because he registers that he’s not scared of that possibility anymore, not the same way he was before.
Kunigami shakes the thought out of his head quickly. He’s not ready for any of that, definitely not anytime soon. He’s let himself relax for now, but when he’s back in Blue Lock again, it’ll be whole other story. Besides, it’s not about him right now. He doesn’t want to drag down the others with his nonsensical baggage.
In the end, he, Bachira, and Isagi each fished out eight thousand yen, paying extra to account for Chigiri’s part of the bill, and Kunigami accepts his fate that he will probably end up broke by the end of this break.
When they arrive at yesterday’s location, Chigiri looks slightly surprised, and when they bring him up to the arcade he cocks an eyebrow at Kunigami in confusion and anticipation. Wordlessly, Kunigami grabs onto Chigiri’s arm and drags him to what he wanted to see, and he feels a kick of satisfaction when Chigiri gasps, understanding dawning on him.
“Hey, this is—this is that plush I showed you the other day!” Chigiri exclaims after they’ve stopped at the machine. The you remembered is left unspoken, but Kunigami can see it clearly reflected in Chigiri’s eyes, and it feels good, he thinks, to be looked at with such unfiltered fondness. Of course I remembered resounds through every part of his mind.
Bachira pulled Isagi aside, claiming that he wanted to try some of the other games, not without a wink to Kunigami. Even though he’s grateful for Bachira’s support and all, it’s slightly awkward with just him and Chigiri. He clears throat.
“So… Happy birthday. I’ll win one for you.”
Chigiri’s mouth split into a wide smile, as if he had been waiting for those words. “You better, hero.”
Kunigami inhales deeply. Okay, this is the real deal now. For some reason, this is more nerve-wracking than any soccer match he’s played as of late. He grips his hundred yen coins tightly while desperately trying to remember everything he had (somewhat frantically) searched up yesterday. It was so dire he bit the bullet and asked Bachira, who gave him Reo’s contact, because apparently Nagi was sort of an expert when it came to arcade games or something.
The most important thing, he learned, was to strategically move the claw in a way that nudges the prize closer and closer to the winning area. Otherwise, the plush would fall out of the claw’s grasp too easily. Armed with this knowledge, he inserts one coin into the slot and takes a breath.
Kunigami spends whole minutes on several laborious tries where he delicately pushed one of the black cats closer and closer to the edge of the platform, reminding himself not the rush. Chigiri stood behind him, just watching, which added to the pressure, but he was at least having fun.
“I think you’ve got it this time, Kunigami!” He cheered, pumping his fists.
I sure hope so. He pushes in one final coin, and maneuvers the stick to right above where the stuffed cat is. Chigiri inches closer to him and presses himself against Kunigami’s back, looking into the machine with the same intensity as Kunigami.
This gives him the resolve he needs to push down decisively, watching as the ends of the claw perfectly graze the plush enough to the point where it tips right over the edge—Kunigami finally lets himself sigh in relief as it fell into the prize area without a hitch, Chigiri also letting out a breath. Without wasting a second, the redhead hums excitedly, bending down to take out their hard-earned prize.
“Ta-da!” The plush is the perfect huggable size, looking even more adorable in Chigiri’s arms. He holds it out to show Kunigami. “It’s soo cute! I knew you could get it!” He continues to twist its paws around, and Kunigami couldn’t stop the faint smile that appeared on his face even if he tried to.
“I’m glad. Happy birthday, princess.” He says again. In that moment, he thinks that if he could just stay in this atmosphere forever, make Chigiri happy forever, then just that would be enough.
“I knew you could get it!” Kunigami turns the words over in his head (overthinking the things Chigiri says to him has become a subconscious habit, really). Chigiri always believes in him so much, really like how a follower looks up to a hero, and it’s always given him a sense of fulfillment, even if that sounds stupid. That’s why, despite the fact that he hates to admit it, he felt a twinge of anxiety in his heart whenever he ignored and insulted Chigiri in NEL. He didn’t want to watch the faith that the other boy held for him disappear, even if it was inevitable.
Yet it never did. He doesn’t know why Chigiri kept coming back, even if he was met with the same sort of rejection each time. He doesn’t know why Chigiri held on to him, doesn’t know what redeeming qualities he saw in Kunigami. Chigiri was never a particularly tolerant person; Kunigami trusts that if he was being mistreated by someone, he would cut them out of his life. But he’s grateful that for whatever reason, in this case, Chigiri persisted. That he waited for him.
“You know what? I’ll get you something too.” Chigiri says abruptly. “They’ve got to have polar bears around here somewhere, right?”
“…Huh? Wait, you don’t need to. This is your birthday gift, after all.”
Chigiri scoffs. “Are you saying you don’t think I can do it? C’mon, I want to give it a go too!” He smirks, and before Kunigami can react, he grabs onto Kunigami’s bare hand and pulls them towards the assortment of crane games. Oh. Chigiri’s hand is colder than his, Kunigami processes, and then mentally slaps himself. Don’t make it weird! Why is that the first thing you’re thinking about?
Since it’s relatively late, there’s not many others around, and the place is surprisingly large. They wander, just the two of them, through the aisles. It’s quiet, but there’s not a need to talk or force conversation. When Chigiri finds what he’s looking for, his hand slips out of Kunigami’s just as quickly as he had held onto it, and he rushes forward.
“Look, this one’s cute!” The machine was loaded with stuffed polar bears with fish in their paws. Kunigami notes that the bears sort of resemble the Rilakkuma toys that his sisters had. “Should we do this one?”
“I mean, sure.”
“So, why are polar bears your favorite?” Chigiri asks as he slots in the first coin.
Kunigami has to pause to think about it. No one has ever really asked him these sorts of questions in a while.
“I guess… They’re big and strong, but still cute.”
“Mm. Pretty much like you, then.”
Kunigami jerks his head towards Chigiri so suddenly that he thinks he heard his neck crack, but Chigiri’s back is faced to him, already playing. Did he hear that correctly? That has got to be flirting, right? He’s not crazy? Kunigami can hear the sounds of his amplified heartbeat pounding in his ears. Honestly, he’s less shocked at the words themselves than at the fact that Chigiri says it so easily.
He’s come to terms with the fact that the feelings he holds for Chigiri are not platonic by now, but still… This is too much.
(The idea that they’re reciprocated is not impossible, but it’s still intimidating. Also, if Chigiri keeps messing with him like this, he’s going to end up dead sooner or later.)
“Damn it.” Chigiri mutters, and that gets Kunigami out of his stupor. Chigiri plays this game like how he plays soccer: fast, and to be truthful, a little impatiently. He tries to get the claw to miraculously grab onto the plush and drop it in the prize zone without any semblance of a plan. “I just can’t get it in there.”
However, in typical Chigiri fashion, it all ends up working out for him somehow. In only four tries, he gets particularly lucky and pulls the bear out triumphantly, shoving it in Kunigami’s face.
“See? Told you I could do it. Here you go.”
“Never said you couldn’t. Thanks.” Kunigami held it gingerly in his arms and turns just to see Bachira round the corner, Isagi on his heels.
“There you guys are! We went back to where we left you but we couldn’t find you anymore!” His eye fall on the black cat and the polar bear. “Wow, those are super cute! Ugh, Kunigami, why did you only get Chigiri one?? That’s so unfair!”
“It’s literally his birthday.”
“You got yourself one too!”
“No, Chigiri got it for me—you know what, fine. What animal do you want?”
All four of them walk out with their favorite animals. Bachira wanted a dolphin, Isagi wanted a lobster, and Chigiri insisted on making it a competition to see who could get the win first.
When Kunigami finally slumps into bed that night, exhaustion permeating through every bone in his body, he sleeps holding the soft bundle of white fur close to him.
Compared to the day before, Christmas Eve and Christmas is relatively chill, which doesn’t really make sense. It’s probably because Bachira and Isagi choose to go out by themselves to who-knows-where on the 24th. To their credit, they do invite Kunigami and Chigiri, but when Chigiri declines, Kunigami does too.
He figures they’re off at some kind of Christmas event or parade, and when he thinks about it like that, it does make sense that Chigiri doesn’t want to go. He’s always expressed a slight distaste for Christmas, or at least, he likes to celebrate it in his own way. Also, despite the fact that winter is his favorite season, he makes it clear that it’s not because he likes going out into the cold.
Kunigami sends well wishes to his family, and is immediately bombarded by responses asking him where he is, how he is. He assures them that everything is fine, and of course, they’re not convinced, but then he tells them that he’s staying with his friends and sends a photo the four of them took yesterday, each holding up their plushies. In hindsight, this might’ve not been a smart move, as his sisters message him even more vigorously afterward.
RENSUKE!!!! ISNT THAT THE PRETTY GUY WHO TOLD YOU TO KEEP AN EYE ON HIM?????AND CALLED YOU RENSUKE????
I SAW IT IN THE SPECIAL BONUS BLTV EPISODE!!!
(Kunigami knows better than anyone else that there are cameras everywhere in Blue Lock, but he’ll still curse Ego for airing that specific moment out on live television as a fun little “extra”. Can’t have a single scrap of privacy in that goddamn place.)
He had hoped that his older sister would be a voice of reason, but her response was just as, if not more, mortifying.
Well, if you’re together for the break then I suppose I’ll leave you be ^_^
My little brother is growing up so fast~
You better visit us the next time you get a break though, you hear me? And tell us everything! ;)
Kunigami cringes and closes his phone. He does not need his sisters to be involved in his personal life like that.
As the evening grows darker and darker, and Isagi and Bachira still aren’t back, Chigiri gives up on waiting for them and sends Kunigami out to get the fried chicken and strawberry shortcake that he’d placed preorders for weeks in advance.
“They’re probably having fun on their own,” Chigiri had told him. “They’re not missing out on anything, so let’s just celebrate by ourselves too.”
“Would you… rather be hanging out with them?” Kunigami asks out of the blue once they’re eating. Chigiri pauses, chicken leg halfway to his mouth.
“What do you mean?”
Feeling self-conscious all of a sudden, Kunigami powers on. “I know you said you don’t like going out for Christmas, but still. Isn’t staying here with me kind of boring?” He hates the way his voice tinges on the border of sounding insecure, but he can’t help it.
Chigiri actually looks thoughtful for a second, and then promptly bites off a part of his chicken, chewing intensely.
“No way! It’s fun and all, but I wasn’t made for those high energy groups.” Kunigami’s about to object, because that’s just not true—Chigiri thrives off of attention and his own liveliness—but Chigiri isn’t done.
“It’s just, I need someone to balance me out, you know? Keep me grounded so I don’t go crazy. And, well, you’re perfect for that.” Kunigami’s stays quiet, and Chigiri continues. “Like, it’s kind of weird, but I never felt uncomfortable with you. You were so reliable, always there by my side, so I guess that’s why when you were ‘eliminated’, it threw me off so much.”
Chigiri’s voice becomes softer towards the end, and the moment feels fragile. Kunigami doesn’t dare speak.
“But I guess I shouldn’t be talking in past tense. Because you’re here now, aren’t you? I’m really happy about it.” He looked up at Kunigami, deep pink eyes meeting amber, his expression a mix between a smile and something else Kunigami doesn’t recognize. “I won’t lie, after Wild Card, dealing with you was kind of frustrating. But it was the first time I was willing to bear with that simply because I cared. When it comes to most people, I would just give up on them right away, but…” He trails off.
“Thank you.” Kunigami’s heart fills with nameless emotions. This doesn’t feel quite like the right thing to say, but he’s at a loss for words. What is he even feeling right now? Gratitude? Relief?
“Sometimes putting effort into people isn’t bad, I realized.” Chigiri’s lips quirk upwards, and oh, he gives Kunigami the same radiant grin he remembers from all the way back then— “I’m glad I believed in you this whole time.”
There are so many things Kunigami wants to say. Is it true you like me? is at the tip of his tongue. What do you mean by that? is at the back of his throat, clawing for leverage. Please, for god’s sake, stop being so vague with me, it’s driving me insane, bounces through his brain. He bites it all back, and none make it out.
He wants to say something, anything, but his mind draws a blank. It’s not just being afraid of saying the wrong thing, but now he just wants preserve the sanctity of this moment, memorize the way Chigiri smiles and the way he looks at him even if he’s done it all before.
In the end, it’s Chigiri who changes the topic unceremoniously, bouncing up and exclaiming that they still have cake to eat. Kunigami cuts it and they scoop moist bites of cake and glistening strawberries into their mouths in relative silence. He has to agree when Chigiri deems it too sweet, so they decide to save the rest of it for Bachira and his insatiable sweet tooth instead.
“Oh yeah, back to your original point,” Chigiri says. “Of course I don’t mind staying with you alone, or at least I’m not sick of you yet. It’ll be just us here once Isagi and Bachira leave, remember?”
Ahh. It had indeed slipped his mind. Wow.
Fuck.
“Merry Christmas!”
Kunigami was slightly antsy to give out his presents, but moreover, he was curious at what they got him. Honestly, he’d be at a loss thinking what to get himself too.
He gives Chigiri the skincare products and feels a sense of victory when the redhead’s eyes light up. Isagi and Bachira elicit similar reactions when they give him conditioner and karinto manju (freshly bought the previous night!) respectively. Kunigami knows that while Chigiri may seem like a fussy guy, he’s easy to please.
Before Kunigami and Chigiri could hand in their gifts for Bachira, they had to sit through and watch as Isagi sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, presenting Bachira with a delicious meal of pancakes, delicately stacked high with all the toppings imaginable, as his present. His face was flushed as he tried to explain the concept but before he could, Bachira ran forward and hugged him so hard the two toppled backward.
Apparently, Bachira never received any presents from Santa growing up, so his mother would always make him pancakes in place of that. Kunigami has to admit, this gesture is really, really sweet. Looking at his two friends being all sappy, he feels a bit forlorn, but still unimaginably happy for them.
(“Can you believe those two aren’t a thing?” Chigiri whispers to him as the two others are caught up in their joy, his face coated in light-hearted annoyance. Kunigami raises an eyebrow.
“They aren’t?” He’s genuinely surprised. They never talk about it, but he thought it was common knowledge.
“Well, not officially, anyway. With the alone time they’ve been spending together though? Well…”
Kunigami scoffs. It’s a Reo-Nagi situation then. To be fair though, there’re probably people who could say the same about him and Chigiri, and one of them was in the room with them. God, Isagi was probably trying to do some weird wingman thing for him and Chigiri too, albeit more with more subtlety than Bachira—he quickly shakes that thought out of his system, shuddering.)
Compared to the sentimental and sincere display Isagi presented, Kunigami’s cutlery set and Chigiri’s chocolates probably weren’t much, but Bachira loved them anyway and happily stated this was the first time he was able to spend Christmas with friends like this, which put them all in a warm mood.
“You guys… Didn’t all get me soccer stuff, did you?” Isagi was next, and he looked incredulous as he stared down at the pile that consisted of cleats, a new ball, and shin guards. Kunigami had tried, really tried, to think of something creative, but all that came to mind when he thought of Isagi was soccer, soccer, and more soccer.
Chigiri shrugged with a small smirk. “I mean, you are a striker, right? Take it or leave it.”
“No, it’s not that! I’m thankful, but…” Oh crap, is Isagi actually looking emotional? “Wow… I’ve just never received gifts like these before… Thanks, guys, really. You’re too kind.”
Kunigami snorts while Bachira laughs. Good to see that the heart of Blue Lock, Blue Lock’s Ace, is so humble even after skyrocketing into fame. If only Isagi could be this kind on the field.
Lastly, it was his turn. Isagi gets to it first, handing him a bag. Oddly, the inside is something pliant and smooth and when it pulls it out—
“Is this… clothing?”
“Mhm,” Isagi beckons him to go on, and when Kunigami takes a closer look at it he realizes that it’s a classy black suit, perfectly fitted to his size. He looks at Isagi in shock.
“You got me a whole suit?”
“Yeah, I figured it’d complement you and boost your vibe and all that.” Isagi’s face reddens in embarrassment. “And like, I pay attention to everyone’s data in Blue Lock, so I knew your measurements. I don’t know exactly what occasion you’d have to wear it, but I’m sure it can come in handy! …I couldn’t think of anything else anyway.” Kunigami does faintly remember seeing suits on sale at the mall, and he smiles to himself inwardly. Bachira jumps up, giving Kunigami his gift in quick succession.
“Ta-da! I made it myself!” A small box is thrusted into Kunigami’s hands: it contains an ornately decorated bracelet with charms in all of their signature colors on it, bright and vibrant. “You can wear it as a bracelet or hang it off of a bag as a keychain, whatever you’d like!”
“Bachira… Thank you.” Kunigami didn’t quite know what to say. He carefully tucked it back into the box and put it off to the side.
“My turn.” Chigiri scoots forward, a small, oddly shaped package in his hand. “It seems like Bachira and I had similar ideas. Hey, why do you look scared?”
Kunigami didn’t even notice he was grimacing. “I’m not, it’s just… You look mischievous.”
“C’mon, it’s just a normal present! Don’t worry.” Chigiri blinked innocently with a small smile. “You’ll like it, I know you will.”
The package was strangely soft and malleable, and whatever was inside was a weird shape. When Kunigami tore it open, the first thing he saw was an ever so familiar glimpse of red. Wait. No way.
“Is that…?” Isagi inches closer for a better view.
Pulling it out completely, he realized his sudden suspicions were correct. It was a plush doll keychain of Chigiri in his Manshine uniform, complete with a big smile and adorable eyes, only large enough to fit in his palm. Kunigami can’t deny it; it’s absolutely downright precious. Bachira gasped, clapping his hands together.
“You got Kunigami a keychain of yourself?” Isagi voice was astonished. “Where did you even get this?”
“Of course, who else?” Chigiri nodded smugly. “Well, we’re all supposed to get merchandise like this eventually, but Reo told me that the Mikage Corp took part in manufacturing them. I asked him if I could get a prototype of mine, and here it is. Told you you’d like it, Kunigami—now you can take a mini version of me with you wherever you go!”
“Chigirin’s a real egoist, huh~”
Just a week ago, Kunigami would’ve found this moment unpleasant, hard to navigate. He searched his mind for something to quip back with, rough words and pretenses that won’t betray his true feelings, but surprisingly, he didn’t feel like he needed any of that anymore.
“Thank you, Chigiri.” This time, he could let his words be filled with sincerity, and beam he got back from Chigiri had the same radiance.
“Of course, hero. You’re the first to have one, so you better keep it safe.”
Kunigami nods, not taking his eyes off the gift. The little Chigiri stares back at him blankly. There’s a few seams that are slightly out of place; it is mass-made, after all. Still, cute.
“So, Isagi, when’s your train?” Bachira pipes up. Neither Saitama nor Chiba was particularly far from Tokyo, but they’d be going in opposite directions.
“Tomorrow at eight.” Isagi sighed. “I wish it wasn’t so early, but my parents will be glad.” The two break into their own chatter about their trips and families.
“Aren’t you going to hang those two on your bag?” Chigiri asks from behind him, gesturing his head towards Kunigami’s new keychains.
“I don’t want them to get dirty.” Kunigami responds, still holding the plush gently in his hand.
“You do you, then. Don’t want every passerby to know your love for Chigiri Hyouma, hm?” He laughs lightly.
Kunigami does end up decorating his duffle bag with the two little trinkets after they’ve eaten lunch. It adds a fresh pop of color, and he thinks it’s a nice change of pace. Maybe once the merch that Chigiri talked about officially comes out, he’ll get something of Isagi and Bachira to add to this too.
Night befalls them eventually, and Isagi and Bachira busy themselves packing their things. Kunigami says that he’ll wake up early tomorrow to see them off, but Isagi reassures him that it’s fine, and that he should just sleep in, with Bachira chiming in that his eyebags are finally getting a little better.
Sure enough, Kunigami awakens to a quiet morning with only two rolled up futons accompanying him. When he goes to get a drink of water, he notices a note stuck to the fridge with Good luck, Kunigami! scrawled onto it. Rolling his eyes, he couldn’t suppress a fond smile, recognizing Isagi’s handwriting, though he suspects the sentiment came from Bachira.
Cohabitation with Chigiri is not difficult. Not that he expected it to be, of course. Since they were both quieter people in general, his only worry was that the silence would be uncomfortable, but the atmosphere was calmer if anything. Chigiri was self-sufficient and had a lot of his own ideas, so he spent a lot of his time reading and doing leisure activities alone.
They weren’t spending that much time together, but naturally, they still ate together, got groceries together, lounged on the couch together, did chores together, and—
Okay, maybe they were spending a lot of time together. And maybe Kunigami was getting a little too comfortable with it, but he is nothing but weak for Chigiri.
(Chigiri had attempted to convince him to sleep on the bed with him to no avail, though as Kunigami lies on the couch night after night, he thinks that maybe he should down his pride just this once.)
Their pleasant days passed without a hitch, but all good things must come to an end eventually, and Kunigami was ever aware of the days ticking down.
The day before New Year’s Eve was when Chigiri suddenly approached him while they were getting ready for bed.
“Kunigami, let’s go out tomorrow night.”
That was out of the ordinary for Chigiri. “Where? For what?”
Chigiri shrugged. “I don’t know. I just want to do something different on New Year’s Eve since I usually stay inside, I guess.” He put his hand on his chin, deep in thought.
“We could just go out for a walk.” Kunigami suggested. “It’ll be cold, but the streets will be all lit up and we might see some fireworks.”
“Mm, not a bad idea.” Chigiri combed through his hair with his fingers. “Sure, let’s do it.”
The next night, after having a simple, late dinner at home, they set out at ten. Chigiri’s all bundled up in a heavy winter coat, a large red scarf, magenta gloves, and sleek black boots. There’s definitely more people out than Kunigami’s expected; there are teens just like them rushing around, and he suspects that they’re probably headed for Shibuya Crossing or some other bustling place.
After they stop at a convenience store to warm up a bit and have some hot drinks, they deviate from the main road a bit and eventually find themselves in a less busy area, next to a park.
“Kunigami, hold my hand.” Chigiri groans out of the blue. “I’m cold.”
Their arms have basically been linked this whole time, but as the temperature gets lower, Chigiri only grows grumpier and needier.
Maybe there are some perks to the cold, Kunigami thinks absently, as he grabs onto Chigiri’s hand without comment. Chigiri reciprocates by wrapping his fingers around Kunigami’s tightly, and even through the glove Kunigami can how cold they are.
“Your hand is freezing.”
“No shit. I’m freezing.”
“You agreed to come out here, don’t forget.”
“I know, I know. You’re so warm, Kunigami.”
Kunigami’s grown more used to Chigiri’s remarks lately, but they still make his heart stutter.
A few minutes later, Kunigami reaches up to his hair when he feels something wet. That’s odd. Kunigami blinks, and just then begins to notice that there are white dots on the ground, falling all around them. Snow, he recognizes with a jolt, and Chigiri gasps from beside him.
“Ah! Snow!” Chigiri exclaims. He reaches his hands out, specks of white drifting onto his gloves. “That’s rare.”
“Yeah, it probably won’t last long.” It was just flurries, but Kunigami also gazed up in wonder.
“Haha, feels kinda magical. Guess it’s gonna be a lucky new year.”
There was a strange feeling of transience in the air with just the two of them, enveloped in the darkness and the cold. The snow grows a little heavier, falling faster.
Kunigami watches as two snowflakes land precariously on Chigiri’s lashes, simply hanging there, and suddenly he gets the visceral urge to do something. To brush his fingers against them oh-so delicately and wipe them off, to hold Chigiri against him, anything that would bring them closer somehow. All of this feels like buildup to something, hell, this whole trip has felt like he’s on the edge, about to tip over, but he’s not brave enough to initiate anything. It’s selfish.
He doesn’t do any of that, only watching as more white flakes fall onto Chigiri’s eyelashes, all too visible, before hastily turning away.
Chigiri notices, however, and looks at him questioningly.
“You have, uhm, some snow on your eyelashes.” Kunigami tells him unprompted and suddenly feels very stupid. God, it’s such a dumb thing to remark on. His brain didn’t move fast enough to make an excuse before it all just tumbled out of his mouth. Chigiri doesn’t look all that perplexed though, simply widening his eyes a little and staring back at Kunigami.
“Really?”
“...Yeah.”
Chigiri runs his hands over both his eyes in a quick motion, and then turns back to Kunigami, amusement unfurling.
“You must’ve been staring at me pretty hard to notice that, huh?” He steps closer. “Am I that pretty, hero?”
“You wish.” Kunigami ignores the loud thumping of his heart and tries to act normal, hoping that the way his ears are heating up isn’t obvious. Still, when Chigiri whirls back around so he’s no longer looking at Kunigami, a shot of courage surges up in his chest.
Oh, fuck it.
“Chigiri, do you like me?”
He’s louder than he intended to be, voice ringing clearly through the vicinity and cutting through the sounds of the wind.
Chigiri’s stops walking, going completely silent. Slowly, very slowly, he twists around to look at Kunigami with wide eyes
His right hand is frozen in the middle of the air, and he doesn’t even blink for a good second. A blush begins tinting his cheeks, and then it spreads—As if to hide it, Chigiri lowers his head, looking at the ground. Kunigami now feels a little bad about saying it so unexpectedly, and panics. Nobody wants to be interrogated on their feelings in such a harsh manner, after all, so he hurries to add:
“Because Bachira said you do.”
Kunigami just wanted to use that as an explanation, but he definitely didn’t expect Chigiri’s head to jerk up sharply, a scandalized expression on his face. “He did?!”
“...He did. Right on the first night we stayed at your sister’s place, actually.” Kunigami responds drily, hoping he wasn’t throwing Bachira under the bus too much. Chigiri seems to be at a loss for words, only putting his hands over his face and curling his body inwards.
...It’s still kind of cute, Kunigami has to admit.
“That guy... He’s far too perceptive for his own good...”
Kunigami nods hesitantly. Well, at least someone gets it.
“I never even said anything to him! That bastard, argh, this is seriously...” Chigiri’s words dwindle off before he takes his hands off his face and smoothens out his coat. His gaze has hardened now, filled with a mix of lighthearted(?) frustration and annoyance. “Even though I made fun of him and Isagi, I guess he’s leagues ahead of us after all.”
“...What?”
Chigiri stares at him blankly. “I said, I guess Bachira’s still superior, seeing how he was able to read my feelings before I could do anything with them myself.”
No, wait, stop.
“You... Really do like me?”
Chigiri raises an eyebrow. “Uh, yeah? Was that not the response you wanted? I mean, why do you think I reacted like that when you asked?”
“It just, it hasn’t sunken in yet?” Crap, that’s not what Kunigami wanted to say. “No, I mean—why are you being so casual about this?”
“Wha— you’re the one who asked me out of nowhere, you insensitive hero! What do you want me to do?! A grand love confession?” Chigiri’s breaks into a rueful grin. “Face it, that’s not really our style, is it?”
Now Kunigami kind of wants to laugh, because Chigiri is so, so right. In his head, he’s built the possibility of this moment up so much, and yet in reality it’s so unceremonious that it’s comical. Because it’s them, isn’t it? He wouldn’t be able to act like this or experience these feelings with anyone else. It’s always been Chigiri. This is all he needs.
“So you like me too.” It’s not a question. Chigiri states it like a simple fact, as if it was an uncomplicated matter and not something that Kunigami’s fought about internally over and over. Maybe it is really that easy.
“I do.” Kunigami says quietly, and it feels as natural as breathing.
He likes Chigiri, Moreover, Chigiri likes him back. It’s not that it hard to believe in the grand scheme of things, but now that it’s all in the air, it feels freeing. Kunigami feels elated. It’s like scoring a goal, times a hundred. God, they should’ve done this way sooner.
With the way the redhead brightened, Kunigami knows that he feels the same. He wonders how long Chigiri’s waited for this, if Chigiri’s been betting on something like this happening, and he realizes that for so long, he was the one that thought Chigiri was unreachable. He didn’t even consider that the other’s feelings could be similar to his own, believing that they would never be on the same wavelength again, but look at them now. Chigiri was always, always right in front of him.
“Well, I guess that’s settled.” Chigiri ran a hand through his hair before spontaneously bursting into a fit of giggles. “Sorry, it’s just—man, we’re kind of stupid, huh?”
“I agree.” The amount of sheer fondness Kunigami is feeling right now shouldn’t be possible. Him, Chigiri, the chill of the winter night; he wants to encapsulate everything and remember it all forever.
“I should’ve said something, but I don’t know. I suppose I didn’t want anything to change.” Chigiri muses. “It’s so much easier to tease you than to confront my true feelings. I really can’t believe you didn’t catch on earlier though. Wasn’t I pretty obvious?”
“I didn’t want to assume you were flirting—”
“Kunigami, I would’ve been really offended if you didn’t take everything I did as flirting. I literally asked you to sleep in the bed with me. Why the hell would I do that if I didn’t like you?”
"Didn’t you just admit that you enjoy teasing me?”
“Whatever, whatever.” Chigiri sighed. “At least Reo can stop bugging me about this now. Isagi and Bachira too. They'll probably still make fun of us though.”
“Oh, yeah, and Kiyora.” Kunigami suddenly remembers. The image of his NEL roommate telling him to sort things out with Chigiri pops into his head unbidden.
“What?”
“...No, it’s nothing.”
They lapse into a relaxed silence, walking side by side, step for step. Chigiri reaches out for Kunigami’s hand again, and their fingers interlace easily. The biting cold feels a lot less bitter, when they’re connected like this. Chigiri hums in contentment.
“Kunigami, I’m really glad you like me.”
“No, I should be the one saying that. I’ve been an asshole towards you.” The seriousness returns to his voice. Kunigami has to lay this bare, even if it hurts to say, because he doesn’t feel completely deserving of the warmth that Chigiri brings him yet. “There are still things that I haven’t told you, and—” and you don’t deserve to be held down by me. Kunigami grimaces. In the end, he’s still hiding; now is now, but what will it be like once they’re back in Blue Lock? Will he become cold and closed off again?
Chigiri’s grip grows firmer ever so slightly, and even though he furrows his brows, there's nothing but compassion in his gaze. “Well, we’ll figure it out as we go, right? I’m not giving you a role to play, I just want to be with you as you are.” There’s hope glimmering in his eyes, and Kunigami wonders not for the first time how Chigiri manages to have so much faith in him. “You can relax, it doesn’t have to be that serious! Besides, you’ve put up with a lot of my issues over time too. It’s going to be a new year.”
Right, a new year. Kunigami knows that he can’t leave everything in the past, nor can he blindly trust in the future. But like this, with Chigiri and all his other friends in his peripheral, he'll at least believe that he won’t be alone again. No, not only that. They won’t ever let him feel that way.
Isagi, Bachira, and Chigiri. They've all been trying to drill it in his head that they care about him, so he ought to trust them a little.
That reminds him, he also wants to send something to his family. “Should we take a picture to let the others know what we’re up to?” His sisters will definitely blow up his phone with questions, but it’s fine. He’ll tell them everything in due time, as long as he can memorialize this moment somehow.
“Okay, let’s use my phone then.” Chigiri swipes it open, revealing a picture of him, Reo, and Nagi as the lockscreen. Kunigami leans in and presses himself closer to Chigiri in order to fit into the frame, cheek cushioned by Chigiri’s scarf. Chigiri holds up a peace so Kunigami does the same—he still doesn’t smile though, much to Chigiri’s dismay.
“And, done! I’ll send it to you...” Chigiri pauses. “Wait, you never gave me your number! Quick, add me!” Kunigami opens up to his settings and hands it over. Chigiri scowls. “You even have Reo on here? Why am I the last one?”
“Hey, I didn’t say you could look at my contacts!”
“’Kay, done.” Chigiri gives him back his phone and Kunigami snorts, seeing the name Chigiri set for himself. Princess. How cliche, but it's fitting. “Seriously, let’s head back now. My feet feel numb. Can you carry me?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Boo, you’re no fun anymore.”
The walk home is hurried, so they make it back in record time. Chigiri is just fishing out the keys as a faint boom can be heard from the distance. Kunigami turns to see faraway sparks of light bursting in the sky. It’s not a big display by any means, ending as quickly as it started, but it’s a sign.
“It’s officially here, huh.” Chigiri smiles. “A new year.”
“It is. It feels kinda surreal.” Nothing feels different, but everything has changed. Chigiri swings the door open and warm air comes wafting out of the room. He turns back to Kunigami with his signature laugh, hair blowing in the breeze.
“Happy new year, Rensuke.”
He’s ready to start anew, he thinks, taking in a breath. The sharp frigid air makes his throat feel raw and refreshed. This time, they’ll be together. This time, he won’t let go. There’s not a trace of doubt in his mind anymore that this is where he should be. He smiles back.
“Happy new year, Hyouma.”