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It shouldn't have been selfish. It certainly didn't start that way, but at some point that feeling that pushed the urge to givegivegive , turned into some ugly feeling in Jayce’s chest.
When they first started working together, it felt normal to constantly be thinking of Viktor. He'd always gotten a little obsessed with new friends, and Viktor was very much worth being obsessed about. Jayce had met plenty of smart people, plenty of kind souls, plenty of creative minds. Viktor surpassed them all.
The desire to help, the creativity to see the solution that's so far outside the box that everyone else has already discarded it, and the intelligence to execute it; Viktor was it. Part of Jayce preened at the fact that he was Viktor's partner. Over anyone else. The other part – the little dark corner he kept quiet – curled around their partnership like a feral dog over its meal.
Viktor is my partner. No one else's.
And he pushed it down— he focused instead on the glow that took root in his chest. There was so much joy and pride and hope in their partnership. Viktor was the kind of person who would change the world, and Jayce would be right there with him, putting magic in the hands of ordinary people. Jayce might've had the idea, the obsession, but Viktor was the driving force. He saw all the good Hextech could do when no one else would listen to Jayce's silly and dangerous obsession.
So yes. Now Hextech was real, and that slight obsession in his brain had Jayce seeing parts of his new partner everywhere. If he walked past a cafe, would Viktor prefer coffee or tea? When he picked up groceries for dinner with his mom, I should invite Viktor next week. Would he like Mom’s food? Should I ask if he has anything he can't eat? When he walked around secondhand stores in the Undercity and the poorer parts of Piltover, Viktor would see what we could do with this.
He really didn't see the issue at first. Viktor looked so nice in red, and his old tie had gotten stained. Of course Jayce bought him that nice red silk one. Just a replacement for what was damaged. Obviously.
The tea set – because Viktor did prefer tea unless he was working – was a genuine gift. They had been partners for a whole year! It was only considerate, and yes. Jayce hated seeing Viktor shiver while they were working, so he bought him a new blanket every winter. It was tradition at this point! There were always a few at the lab, but Jayce had only been in Viktor's home a handful of times. Every time, he'd spot a blanket that he'd given over the back of the comfy chair in the living space or on the bed through the cracked open bedroom door. In fact, trying to see if Viktor liked them and wasn't just saying he did to placate Jayce is why he ended up snagging that vintage lamp. Everything in Viktor's house was so dark, and when he turned on the bedside lamp to change out of his brace, Jayce could hear the lamp strain to turn on.
The red padding wasn't truly on purpose either. Jayce had looked for a while for a soft but durable material to pad Viktor's cane when they did the redesign. When he went out to buy materials, there was only a vibrant green, navy blue, or that red in stock. And…well, Viktor looked so, so nice in red, and sure. He could have special ordered a more neutral color— Viktor liked neutral colors, but Jayce wanted him to have his new crutch as soon as possible. It was just convenience.
At least, Jayce could tell himself that until she pointed it out.
Mel stopped by the lab on rare occasions. More often, she would send a message for Jayce to come to her. Too busy with the duties of a councilwoman and the politics of not being born in Piltover. When she did though, Mel had a way about moving through their lab. It was unobtrusive and gentle like she was simultaneously uninterested and deeply respectful of the things they created there.
Most of the time, Jayce didn't even notice her presence until Viktor asked in a sharp tone why she was there or she leaned into his shoulder to ask what he was working on. To be fair, he's always gotten fixated, but today, he was working on something for Viktor. Of course he hadn't noticed.
Viktor had to visit his doctor – for one of his regular checkups, Jayce assumed, and Jayce had decided to take the time to start drafting a new brace for him. Viktor had been taking his current one off more and more. He'd mentioned offhandedly how uncomfortable it was becoming, and Jayce had caught the bruising and rubbed-raw skin from the brace that no longer provided the support that Viktor was needing more and more. He'd show it to Viktor once the draft was done. No doubt Viktor would be able to fix all the flaws that Jayce hadn't seen.
So when Mel leaned her arm on his shoulder, he'd jumped. She ignored it with a little hum, looking over at the draft. “Putting yet another mark of yours on your dear partner?” Her lips pulled into a wry smile.
Jayce blinked at her. Then at the blueprint. Then back at her. “What?”
Mel tilted her head. “The latches.” She pointed at the sketched out design. “Are they not supposed to look like the Talis emblem?”
He frowned as he looked where she had pointed. His fingers tightened on his pencil. Now that she had said it…the latches certainly did look like his house emblem.
“It's quite cute how you try to protect him,” Mel sounded amused, “but this may be a bit far. Everyone in society knows by now not to disrespect your precious partner.”
“Oh.”
Jayce remembered all of a sudden how Viktor had teased him for signing all of his notes. At the time, he'd been annoyed because of course he signed his notes. They were important. They were his , and Jayce was always worried that someone would take away his research, his work, his life . So of course Jayce made sure anyone that looked at his notebook knew that it was his work, his research. It was the only thing that kept him living, breathing. It was his pride, his purpose, and his only path forward.
“Jayce?”
Mel gently turned his face to look at her. She was always pretty. Even when the space between her brows creased and her eyes narrowed, she was pretty. She was also so, so smart. She believed in them when no one else did.
She pursed her lips. Then, so softly, she asked, “Did you not realize?”
Jayce blinked again. His mouth opened to answer her—
But what was there to say? That he was embarrassed. That he was afraid. If it was so obvious to everyone except him, wouldn't it also be obvious to Viktor? Wouldn't Viktor also see how ugly Jayce's partnership really was? Wouldn't he hate it?
Mel smiled, sudden and bright like the sun emerging from an eclipse. “Well, it was a wonderful idea.” She patted his cheek. “You know how some of the more conservative members of society feel about people like Viktor.”
There are no people like Viktor . He bit his tongue because that wasn't what she meant. He knew that.
“Don't misunderstand.” She leaned away from him and against the desk. “It's archaic but effective. Anyone who takes one look at him knows.”
Jayce swallowed. “Yeah?”
Mel rested her hand on his desk. The tips of her fingers just barely touched the blueprint. “It's a good way to show that he belongs to House Talis, that anyone who mistreats him would face your wrath.” She hummed. “Admittedly, it's more common elsewhere, but still. Commendable to protect your investment.”
He glanced at where her fingernails tapped on the edge of the drafting paper. If he thought about it, he could envision the brace around Viktor's leg. The symbol of his house clearly visible on the outside of his leg, the colors on his cane and around his throat. He could see Viktor looking grumpy as he sipped on whatever wine was being served at the next gala the founders of Hextech were dragged, and everyone would know who he was without even being introduced because Jayce had draped Talis red all over him without even realizing it. Jayce would glance over to check on him, and Viktor would raise an eyebrow at him before tipping his glass at whoever Jayce was talking to as if to remind him of why he was even there – get the funding, keep the dream alive, go back to the lab, and do the work that mattered.
“Regardless,” Mel’s voice snapped his attention back to her, “that's not actually why I came.”
Mel continued on to explain the meeting she had set up for Viktor and him to demonstrate one of their more experimental projects. Jayce tried to listen. He didn't do a very good job. He was only half listening while wondering. Had Viktor drawn the same conclusion as Mel? Would Jayce be able to hide behind that excuse instead of having the truth torn from his still-beating heart?
He could live with that. If it let him stay in Viktor's orbit, Jayce figured he could live with a lot. It was scary in a way. Jayce couldn't actually think of anything that he wouldn't be able to live with. As long as it meant staying with Viktor— as long as Jayce could work by his side and peek into the dreams that Viktor thought up, it felt like there was nothing he wouldn't do to keep it.