Roses of Rebellion

by Kiikkkiiii

Summary:

Hao hadn’t stepped foot into the castle since the death of his father over ten years ago.

Now, due to his mother’s relentless efforts, he’s been invited back to take part in the annual courting season. An omega like him? Surely, he won’t have any prospect of finding a mate…

Upon his arrival he has to find out that he’s attracted more attention than he’s ever dared to dream of.
But that’s not the only thing he finds, as more and more secrets surrounding his father’s death come to light...

Notes:

Hello!! And welcome!!

I'm so excited and nervous about this hehahahb I've been working on this for so long and I just couldn't wait anymore to post it :)
So, I really really hope you like it, I tried my best to come up with an interesting story :D

Chapter 1: Snowdrops

Summary:

snowdrops. a symbol of hope, new beginnings, and the promise of warmer days to come

Hao had always loved spring.

Snow melting, making room for flowers to bloom, the first sun rays breaking through the cloudy sky and the smell of fresh air. For him, there was hardly anything better.

Hao inhaled deeply. The snow underneath his feet had melted into a wet mush of grass and mud. In between you could make out the first flowers, bright white snowdrops and pretty purple crocus. He wiped a bed of snow from the top of his father’s gravestone. He loved this spot, hidden beneath two old oak trees, remembering how his father and him had come across here on occasional strolls.

Maybe it had also to do with the fact that his father had died during winter that he loved spring even more. Over ten years ago, when he himself had been only twelve years old, spring coming again had felt impossible. Yet it had still come, bringing warmth into his world that had turned icy. Spring had been the first sign of time moving on.

“Zhang Hao!”

The voice of his mother calling him made him shriek up. For a moment he considered hiding, but then deemed it useless. There was no time anyway, as his mother appeared between the branches of the oaks seconds later. She sighed when she saw him standing in front of the gravestone.

“I knew I would find you here,” she shook her head. “I told you to be back before noon!”

Hao made a contrite face. His mother had told him to pick up the mail this morning and Hao had used the opportunity to wander a little. Somehow, he always ended up here. His mother knew that.

“Did you at least get our letters?” She asked him and Hao quickly pulled the two letters from his pockets.

He hadn’t bothered giving them a closer look. Most letters they got were for his mother anyway and didn’t concern him.

“Good. Let’s go then, we still have to prepare lunch,” his mother said, grabbing his arms and dragging him away from the graveyard. She had never liked coming here and therefore didn’t like Hao doing so either. She thought it wasn’t healthy to live in the past too much. Hao didn’t like arguing so he nodded and followed her. 

 

Their cottage was located on the edge of the town, near the river and the main road. They had moved in after his father had passed away, no longer allowed to stay at the castle where his father had worked as a scholar. Hao hadn’t really understood too many of the details back then, only that it was unseeming that a widowed omega and her omega son would be living in their quarters of the castle on their own. He didn’t know why it was okay for them to live alone in a cottage in town instead, but he liked it here, so he had never questioned it much. 

Therefore, he hadn’t been too sad about moving. The only thing he missed about living in the castle were the classes he had been allowed to attend. Usually, people like them, without noble blood or real standing, weren’t allowed lessons with the noble population, but since his father had been a well respected scholar and great thinker, Hao had been granted special allowance to education when he had been younger. He had loved learning - history, science, literature - everything had interested him. His desire for knowledge had been one of the things that had connected him to his father. 

Unfortunately, there wasn’t as much access to knowledge outside the castle walls, away from the great libraries. Which didn’t mean that Hao hadn’t read all the books available in town and taught himself everything he wanted to learn. That’s why his mother always gave him strict times to be home again. Otherwise Hao might just wander around all day, trying to learn all the secrets nature had to offer. 

The path leading up to the cottage was muddy and his mother frowned when they dragged the dirt inside. 

“We’ll have to sweep this up,” she sighed, putting her shoes away so they wouldn’t spread the dirt any further. Hao followed her example, hanging his coat onto the rack after getting the letters out his pocket. 

Only now did he inspect them properly. One of them looked like nothing special, probably informing his mother of new prices at the market. The other, however, perplexed him. 

“Why is the castle writing to you?” He asked, turning his head to look at his mother who had already disappeared into the kitchen to boil water.

As soon as he had asked his question, she came running back. 

“The castle?” She asked, snatching the letter out of Hao’s grip. 

Hao nodded dumbfounded - the royal wax seal was unmistakable. His mother didn’t pay him any more attention, mumbling excitedly to herself as she walked back inside the cottage. Hao walked after her confused. 

What business could the castle have with them? They had left years ago, Hao had no contact with any of his old friends. Why would they write all of a sudden?

He studied the expression of his mother, afraid that this was bad news. Contrary to Hao’s concern, she didn’t look worried. Instead her smile grew bigger and bigger the longer she read. 

“They accepted!” She exclaimed finally, putting the letter down to beam at Hao. 

“What?” Hao asked, only growing more and more confused. He hadn’t been aware that his mother had been conversing with the castle in the first place. 

“Hao,” his mother said, raising her hands to hold his face. “You’ve been invited to join the courting season.”

Hao’s brain froze for a solid minute. “I- what ?”

“Courting season,” his mother repeated, patting his cheek once before letting go of his face. “This is great news!”

“But I-” Hao failed to comprehend. “I’m not noble.”

“Nothing a little money can’t fix,” his mother said. “Besides, we enjoyed a great reputation at court.”

Hao’s mind drew a blank. Him. Courting season. At the castle. It didn’t make sense. Hao wasn’t the kind of omega those alphas were looking for. 

“I can’t go,” he let his mother know.

Suddenly, her excited expression turned into a stern frown. “You can and you will.” 

“No-”

“Hao, do you know how much it cost me to even get this invitation?” His mother asked him harshly. “We won’t turn this down. Don’t you understand how important this is for your future?”

Hao looked down at his feet. His thoughts were turbulent. She hadn’t even asked him if this was something he wanted! 

“I can’t provide for you forever. You need to find a mate and it better be one of good standing,” his mother continued. “You know that.”

Of course, Hao knew that. His mother never let him forget. In this town, there wasn’t much else for an omega to do than to find a good match. It wasn’t proper for an unmated omega to move out from home and work on their own. Many omegas his age were already mated. 

And while the general idea of finding a mate wasn’t unappealing to Hao, the prospect of having to do so at the castle was frightening. Hao hadn’t set foot there since he had been twelve years old. Wouldn’t he only ridicule himself? 

Besides, wasn’t their life at the cottage good? Sure, it got a little boring and there wasn’t much to see or do in town…but it was what he knew. 

“Hao, your father would have wanted for you to find a good mate,” his mother kept insisting. Hao bit down on his lip. 

He always hated when she said things like that. She never mentioned his father, except for making arguments like this. He bit down on his tongue.

 “We’re going. End of discussion.”

She walked back into the kitchen, leaving Hao no further opportunity to argue. He doubted it would’ve worked anyway. 

 

Neither of them brought up the issue for the rest of the day. After lunch his mother excused herself to her study, leaving Hao to take care of the household. He washed their dishes, swept the floor and dusted the shelves. Then he went into the small garden behind their estate. No plants were growing yet, but in the summer they often could survive without buying any food. Hao’s stomach twisted. Would he even get to see their flowers bloom this year?

 

When he went to bed early that day, he didn’t know what to think anymore. He turned from side to side, unable to find sleep. 

He knew he was lucky. He and his mother had a good life. He’s heard of other families that lived without a head alpha that had lost everything - but they had been able to keep their fortune and estate thanks to his father’s good reputation. For him, that had always been enough, but he knew his mother had taken their expulsion from the castle a lot harder. 

He should be grateful she had gotten him this opportunity. Only people of noble or royal blood were invited to attend the big courting events held in the caste. Hao was neither noble nor royal - far from it. Hao had never cared much for customs and bloodlines, far more eager to learn about the universe and everything in it. So him returning to the castle for such a prestigious event was…bizarre. 

His mother’s wish had always been for him to mate with an alpha of good standing. The prospect of meeting such an alpha in this little town was slim. Meeting any alpha his age in town was rare and if any of them had shown up they had been the sons of farmer’s or fisher’s or seller’s. However, no one had ever made an effort to court him. It had been years since an alpha had even talked to him.

Hao didn’t know why his mother thought any alpha in the castle would show interest in him if he couldn’t even get the attention of one here in town. When he had been younger, Hao had always wondered if there was something wrong with him. Was he not pretty enough? Was he too tall? Was his scent not attractive? 

By now Hao had simply accepted that he was not an omega that was desired by alphas. And he was okay with that. He liked his quiet life down at the cottage. It might be lonely at times but it wasn’t bad.

That’s why the thought of going to the castle with the intention of attracting a mate made his stomach ache. Wouldn’t he just humiliate himself?

But what if ? A quiet voice in his head said. Hao had read romance books, and in his most secretive dreams wished to find someone to relate to in a way only a mate could. Like a silly romantic, he dreamed of finding true love.

Don’t , he scolded himself. There was no use hoping for something that would never happen. He was happy where he was now.

Just…what if?

 

Hao didn’t sleep well that night and the following nights. Every day that their departure to the castle got closer, he felt a little more nauseous. 

His mother was quite the opposite. Glowing with excitement, she was running around the cottage to prepare everything for their absence. A temporary housekeeper was hired to make upkeep the cottage and their garden while they were gone. Hao was filled with envy when he thought about the flowers he had planted last year that he would not get to see bloom. 

Then, around a week before they would leave, his mother had ordered a tailor to their cottage. At first Hao had been a bit confused - both him and his mother knew how to sew and mend clothes. His mother, especially, always prided herself in her sense of fashion, professionally trained in the art of clothes making. The tailor wasn’t there for normal clothes, however. 

“Hao,” his mother pulled him into the sitting room, where they had the biggest windows and the most light was let in. 

The tailor had brought multiple fabrics in a variety of colors that were already spread across the room. 

“This is my son, Hao,” his mother introduced him, who had just come back from a walk to the graveyard. 

The tailor looked him up and down with assessing eyes, making Hao twitch uncomfortably. Being perceived like this made his skin itch with the desire to hide.

“He’s quite tall,” the man commented and Hao blushed red. His height had always been something he felt awkward about. For an omega, he was exceptionally tall.

 “Pretty face, though. Very pretty eyes.” The tailor kept judging his appearance.

“He’s here to make you a few gowns for the balls,” his mother finally explained to him. “Stand still so he can get your measurements, okay?”

Hao didn’t get any chance to protest before the man was back in his personal space with a measuring tape. He measured his length, the width of his shoulders, his arms, his torso, his waist - the only time he gave a sort of appreciative hum - his legs and thighs, even the size of his feet. After that was finally done, all different kinds of fabrics were held underneath his chin so they could figure out what colour matched his complexion best.

The whole ordeal made Hao feel entirely self conscious. So far the thought he would stick out with his clothes hadn’t occurred to him, but now it was only another thing he added to his list of worries. Wouldn’t people be able to tell that he was out of place? No matter how many pretty gowns his mother bought for him, he felt like they would be wasted on someone like him. Hao did not look like the kind of omega raised in the castle.

He knew better than to complain, though, so he remained quiet as his mother and the tailor discussed what kind of gown would make his figure look best. 

When he was sent to pick up his new clothes a few days later, Hao couldn’t bear to look at them. It all felt so overwhelming to him. If he could turn back time, he would simply lose the letter that had invited him to the castle. 

 

The day before the departure came way too fast. His mother had instructed him to pack his suitcase first thing in the morning, as a carriage would pick them up early the next day. Hao had dragged out his packing the entire day. He wasn’t sure what he would even need. His festive gowns had already been packed separately, so they wouldn’t be harmed during their travels.

Hao folded a few of his other clothes and neatly stored them away. Then he halted again. His gaze wandered to his shelf of books. There would probably be more books in the castle, but he at least wanted to bring some of his favorite ones. 

He selected a book about the sea and one about flowers and then stopped. His fingers hovered over the collected notes of his father. Of course, Hao knew them by heart, having read them countless times. His father’s early research and interest had mostly been about nature and flowers. Hao especially loved all his drawings of roses. His latest and most influential work, however, had been philosophical, arguing for a fairer distribution of healthcare in their kingdom. It had been published nationwide and brought along some real changes. 

All the notes about his early research, about flowers and trees, however, had never made it into books and Hao had been the only one to ever read them. 

He wondered if there were more of his father’s works stored at the castle. When they had left, his mother had refused to take any of his father’s books or unfinished projects with her. If there were any, they were most probably stored at the castle. If they hadn’t been destroyed yet - projects of a dead scholar, remaining to be unfinished forever, would probably be deemed pretty useless. 

That thought made an unfathomable sadness take over Hao and he quickly put the notes into his suitcase with his other books.

Apart from dark fantasies about how he would utterly disgrace himself at the castle, his father had occupied most of his thoughts lately. After all, the castle had been the last place he had ever seen him alive. Memories of playing in his father’s old study and running across the gigantic royal gardens with him to catch butterflies played in his head. What would it be like to return to that place?

He sighed, sinking down to the ground. 

There was a knock on his door and his mother stuck her head inside. She pursed her lips when she saw the messy state of his room. 

“Finish this up quickly and then go to bed,” she told him. “We’re gonna leave early. You need to get some sleep.”

Hao pressed his lips together and nodded. The door closed behind her. He didn’t want to go. The thought of leaving filled him with so much dread.

Suddenly, everything was becoming too much. 

Why had his mother thought this was a good idea? Why hadn’t she asked him about it? Why had she decided for him? Didn’t she see how unfitting Hao was? Or did she and that’s why she was doing this? Knowing that Hao could never find a mate on his own? 

His cheeks were wet when he touched them and he realized that he had been crying. Wasn’t there anything he could do to prevent this? Why couldn’t he just run away?

Why couldn’t he?

His tears stopped. Adrenaline flushed through his body. 

Had he thought for a second about this, he wouldn’t have done it. He would’ve seen what a stupid idea it was. But Hao didn’t give himself a second to think. Overcome with the urge to act, he jumped to his feet. 

 

His mother had already retired to bed, which made it easy to sneak outside.

As soon as he left the cottage, a weird sense of freedom filled him. He almost felt giddy as he started running.

Soon he had to realize that he had nowhere to go. He hadn’t taken anything with him and the night was freezing cold. His entire body was shivering and yet Hao didn’t want to return. 

As long as he kept walking, he couldn’t be lost. Even with no destination, moving was better than staying still. 

Doubt crept into Hao’s mind. What was he even doing? Even if he disappeared for the night, where would he stay? His mother would search for him. They would find him. There really was no escape. He didn’t want to go somewhere else. He wanted to stay in the cottage. That’s what had gotten him to this situation in the first place.

Paying no attention to his path, Hao wasn’t surprised when he ended up at the entrance of the graveyard. He paused. Slowly he pushed the iron gate open that creaked loudly in the silence of the night. 

Hao had no problem sidestepping all the gravestones until he reached the very edge of the graveyard. He pushed the branches of the tree aside that separated his father’s grave from the rest of the world. 

Calmness surrounded him as Hao crouched down. His eyes gazed over the words carved into the stone.

Zhang Fei - beloved father, husband and friend. 

Flowers only bloom with courage.

Tears shot into his eyes again. His mother had picked out what to write on his stone and that had been the only thing she had decided for his funeral. Hao had never asked her why she had picked those exact words, but he had always loved them. 

“Hi dad,” he whispered. He hadn’t spoken to his father like this in years. In the beginning, he had come quite often to talk with him, but over the years he had grown out of it. It was not like his father ever answered. 

“I wish you could be here today,” he said. “I know you would know what to say.”

He exhaled, wiping a stray tear off his face.

“I’m really scared. I don’t want to leave. I like it here,” he mumbled. “You understand that, right?”

Of course, his father didn’t reply. But it felt good saying these things out loud. Over time, Hao had sort of forgotten how to speak out. He was so accustomed to remaining quiet in a corner, happy to be on his own and not bother anyone. This town was perfect for that. Quiet and isolated. It’s been years since Hao had even had a friend to talk to. Which probably explained why he was here right now, speaking with a gravestone that wouldn’t never answer back.

Suddenly, his heart was filled with so much pain and longing. 

Hao had repressed that feeling for ages but now it came back stronger and more painful than ever. 

It was true. He was alone. He had no one. Ever since his father had passed, his life had felt so empty. It’s been over ten years and yet here Hao was, crying at his father’s grave and feeling so utterly lonely. 

“If you could see me now you’d probably laugh at me,” Hao mumbled bitterly. “I don’t know why I am this way. I don’t want to be this way.”

As soon as he said it out loud, the thought struck him. 

“I don’t want to be this way,” he repeated breathlessly. 

If he was being honest, it was hard. Living in town and pretending to be happy when he was not was hard. It hurt. It hurt that there was no one he could talk to about this. 

When he had been a child, living in the castle, there had always been someone to talk to. He remembered having friends, he remembered laughter and days filled with happiness. 

“I wish I had a chance to turn my life around,” Hao sighed, lifting his eyes from the gravestone to look up at the sky.

As if wanting to answer him, a shooting star crossed the night sky. Hao’s breath hitched. His gaze flickered back to where his father’s name was written, like he was trying to nudge him in the right direction. 

Suddenly knowing what to do, Hao got up. 

“Thank you,” he breathed.

The carriage arrived as soon as the sun had risen. His mother was tense as she ran around the cottage, making sure everything was in order. Then she ushered Hao into the carriage first, their suitcases being fastened in the back for them by the carter. The velvety cushion gave in slightly under Hao’s weight. His linen pants suddenly felt very cheap.

He shook his head. He had decided last night that he would try to be positive about this. Going back to the castle was a chance at a new life. The cottage had been a safe space for years, but it was time to leave it behind and move out of his comfort zone. Literally, move out. 

He still doubted he would find a mate, but he hoped that, at least, he would find a friend. And he was excited to find out more about his father’s research, barely having been able to get any of his books to read in town. If he found a way to not make a total fool of himself, he thought maybe staying at the castle for a while wouldn’t be too bad. 

At the very least, it was a chance. 

Chapter 2: Daffodils

Summary:

daffodils. meaning good news or the hope for change

Notes:

Hello again :)
Thank you all for all your love and support for the first chapter!! I was really so amazed, I hope you enjoy this second chapter as well :D

The journey to the castle took them several hours. Having woken up way too early, nerves not letting him sleep, Hao found himself resting his eyes for most of it. However, with the constant jerking of the carriage it was impossible to find any real sleep here as well.

His mother didn’t seem to have the same problem, eyes shut tightly in the seat next to him. Hao busied himself with observing their surroundings. He hadn’t traveled much through their kingdom. The only path he had frequently traveled was between the small town to visit their cottage and the castle, back when his father had still been alive. 

It had been years now since he had last left the cottage. The fields and villages they traveled through didn’t seem to have changed much, however, it seemed. Hao watched farmers working on the fields, planting seeds to harvest once summer came. A few children ran after their carriage, waving excitedly and pointing at the horses. Apart from them, there was nothing much to see for the most part of their journey. 

Only when the sun had passed its zenith did they near the castle, towns growing bigger and closer to each other. More people filled the streets, slowing down their pace. Curiously, Hao watched as the crowds split in front of them, most of the people not at all concerned with the carriage making its way to the castle, obviously used to people coming and going. 

 

When the castle appeared on the horizon, standing tall and proud on a hill, Hao began to get nervous again. His memories of this place were faded, but the picture of the majestic building painting itself against the setting sun matched what he remembered. An impenetrable stronghold. At least a dozen towers were stretching towards the sky, red tiled roofs coloring their tops. Hao swallowed. Its sheer magnificence was intimidating, even without knowing that only the most powerful people were residing inside those heavy stone walls. 

Next to him, his mother had also stirred awake, watching the castle grow bigger with anticipation. Once they reached the heavy iron gate keeping any unwanted visitors outside, the carriage stopped. The carter exchanged a few words with the guards, who stepped back and opened the gate for them. With a screeching noise, the metal swung open.

This was it. They were in. 

Slowly they headed forward. The path leading up to the castle entrance was framed by tall firs, ending in a circle in the middle of which stood a golden fountain. The water was frozen at this time of the year, but Hah had no doubt once summer came, the little droplets dispelled from its top would sparkle like rainbows underneath the sun.

His mother began fixing her long dress, before leaning over to him and straightening his robes as well. She gave him an assessing look. 

“Whatever happens in there,” his mother told him firmly. “You keep your head up high. Understood?”

Hao had not expected those words from his mother. Maybe he should have. She had always been a proud woman, not tolerating any disrespect. Probably why she had taken their expulsion much worse than Hao. 

“Understood,” Hao repeated, straightening the wrinkles in his robes where his mother had already patted them down. 

This was their reentry into society, their return to court. Hao prayed to his ancestors to guide him not to be a complete embarrassment. 

 

Finally, the carriage stopped. His mother sat back straight. Her expression was hard to read. The next second the door of their carriage swung open. 

“Misses Zhang,” the carter offered his arm to help her outside. 

An iron smile graced her features as she took it. Hao inhaled deeply. Then he followed her. 

He didn’t know what he had expected for their arrival.  He had lost all contact with his old friends, so he hadn’t assumed anyone would greet him. He shouldn’t have underestimated the networking power of his mother. 

“Lady Kim, it’s such a pleasure to see you again.” 

His mother was already approached by a woman in long blue robes, blowing in the wind behind her. It was the same blue robes his father used to wear, the clothing of scholars. 

“Please, when I heard about your arrival I insisted to welcome you myself,” Lady Kim said, pulling his mother into a courtesy embrace. “After all, your husband and I were good friends.”

Even at the mention of her dead husband his mother’s eyes remained firm. Hao always wondered how she did it, his own face a mirror of all his emotions. 

“I’m most grateful to you,” she smiled and Lady Kim let go of her.

“And you must be Zhang Hao,” she suddenly turned to him. “You’ve grown up well, I see.”

Quickly, Hao lowered his gaze, bowing slightly in respect. “Thank you. You are too kind.”

“You might remember my son, Taerae. If I remember correctly, you took classes together,” she said, making Hao look up.

Until now he hadn’t noticed the figure lingering a few steps behind her. It was a man his age, soft brown hair and curious eyes watching him. At first Hao didn’t recognize him, but then he smiled and deep dimples appeared on his cheeks. 

Of course, he remembered Kim Taerae. They used to be friends, connected by their scholar parents. When they had been younger, Taerae had been quite a troublemaker, always stirring up chaos and sticking his nose where it didn’t belong - but never in a way that harmed anyone. 

When he took a step closer Hao was surprised to find his scent carried a note of sweetness that was reserved for omegas. Based on his recollection he would not have guessed Taerae to present as an omega - but it was impossible to tell anyone's second gender as a child, no matter how hard you tried. 

Hao himself had been quite the surprise in that sense. His height had always made people take him for an alpha. When he had presented unusually early at the age of twelve, almost everyone had been shocked to find his scent resembling the sweet fragrance of roses. 

His mother subtly nudged him in his side, stopping his mind from wandering any further. 

Catching on to his mistake, Hao swiftly bowed in Taerae’s direction as well. Contrary to them, the Kim family was very distantly related to the royal family, noble blood flowing through their veins. 

“It’s nice to meet you again,” Hao mumbled, feeling his face turn hot at this first misstep of his. He needed to focus more from now on. 

Taerae didn’t seem to mind one bit. “The pleasure is all mine. Come on, let me show you to your rooms.”

He interlocked their arms and pulled him forward. Hao threw his mother a glance, but she motioned for him to go ahead. 

“Someone will bring your stuff later,” Taerae informed him before Hao could ask. “We’ve prepared everything in advance for your return.”

“That’s too kind,” Hao muttered, feeling a little overwhelmed at the enthusiastic welcome. He was glad Taerae was simply pulling him along, because he didn’t know if he could’ve moved one step on his own. 

They disregarded the big entrance gate to the castle, moving towards the gardens and stepping inside through a small side door. This seemed to be the servants entrance as well, as many people dressed in servant gowns swarmed around them. 

“I thought you might like this better than making a big entrance,” Taerae let him know. 

Hao decided at that moment that he liked Taerae. 

“Thank you,” Hao said, managing a small smile. “I much prefer this.”

Taerae hummed in understanding. “I get it. Must be a lot returning to court after…everything.”

Hao’s smile dropped. Obviously, everyone back then had known about his father’s death. With their return, it was natural that it was only a matter of time until it would be brought up. 

“Yes, I…I found things quite hard,” Hao said quietly, feeling Taerae’s hold on his arm tighten a little. 

“Well, let me know if there’s anything I can do to make your stay easier,” he told him, trying hard to sound lighthearted, which Hao dearly appreciated. “After all, I still owe you for not tattling on me when I hid scholar Choi’s socks.”

At the memory, Hao couldn’t help but laugh. It’s been years since he last remembered the infamous sock-incident and how all pupils back then had been called in to be questioned only for the scholar to find his socks unharmed in one of his most beloved scriptures. 

“It’s been forever,” Hao commented fondly.

“All the more reason for me to finally repay your favor,” Taerae grinned. 

By now they had reached another quarter of the castle, this one a lot more quiet and secluded. The windows let into the wall were tinted blue in this part of the castle, almost making it look like you were underwater. 

“This is where all the scholars live. I’m sure you remember that,” Taerae told him, halting in front of an inauspicious wooden door. 

Hao did indeed remember the blue windows. He had played countless hours here, pretending to be a merman catching fish. 

Taerae pushed the door open. “This is you.”

The room was simple, smaller than Hao’s room at the cottage. A small bed, a dresser, a desk and a closet filled the otherwise empty space. There was a small bathroom attached to it. A bouquet of daffodils was placed on the banister. 

“I thought you might appreciate some color,” Taerae told him when Hao smelled the flowers. 

“Thank you. This is perfect,” Hao let him know, smiling sincerely. 

He had expected to be treated much worse. In his best case scenario, he would’ve just been ignored by everyone. Finding so much kindness on his first day back had been beyond his imagination. 

They were interrupted by a few servants bringing Hao’s luggage inside before quickly disappearing again. 

“Well, I’ll let you get settled in then,” Taerae smiled at him, moving towards the door. “My room is down the hall and then right, if you need anything. I’m sure my mom will invite you to have dinner with us. So, I’ll see you later.”

Hao nodded quickly as Taerae left, leaving him alone in his new room. 

Well, he supposed that could’ve gone much worse. 

 

For the rest of the day he busied himself with unpacking. He hadn’t brought much, not sure for how long he would be allowed to stay at court. Courting season usually started in spring and then lasted all year, until couples decided to get mated in winter. Hao doubted he would find anyone willing to mate him within a year. Hopefully, his mother wouldn’t be too disappointed should they have to leave the castle early because of that. Hao worried very much how his mother would react. 

It had already been quite late in the afternoon when they had arrived. Hao felt the lack of sleep catch up with him. He yawned, glancing at the bed in the corner of the room. The sheets looked invitingly comfortable. Surely, he could just rest his eyes for a few minutes?

Before Hao could make a conscious decision, he had already fallen into the cushions, asleep in mere seconds. 

When he woke up, it was dark outside the window, no blue light falling through anymore. He startled upright when he heard a knock on his door.

“Zhang Hao?” A servant girl opened the door.

Hao practically jumped to his feet, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Lady Kim requested your presence for dinner. I was asked to show you to her quarters,” the girl informed him.

“Yes,” Hao nodded, trying to pet the wrinkles out of his clothes. “Thank you.”

The girl waited silently for him, but Hao swore he saw the corners of her lips twitching. He couldn’t blame her. He must look like a mess, falling out of bed, still stricken with sleep. It would be rude to keep Lady Kim waiting, however, so Hao didn’t dare ask for a moment to clean himself up in a bathroom. Instead, he flattened his hair with his hands, hoping he wouldn’t look too improper for dinner. He did not want to offend the Kim family.

He trailed after the girl. She was holding a lantern, illuminating the dark hallways that shimmered mysteriously bluish. They walked down the hallway and turned right. There were fewer doors let into the walls here, making Hao conclude that those were bigger residences, housing entire households. 

Finally, the girl stopped walking. Hao would’ve loved a moment to collect himself, but she had already knocked on the door, and then  proceeded to hold it open for him. Hao gave her a small smile as she bid him goodbye. 

There was light flooding the room, warm and bright yellow, a stark contrast to the hallways. Lady Kim had multiple lanterns installed on her walls, illuminating her home like it was day and not night. A few servants rustled around Hao as he stepped inside, not minding him much. 

Unlike his own room that only consisted of a bedroom and a small bath, the Kim quarters seemed to be made up of multiple rooms. This first first room seemed to connect them all, as left and right doors lead to - presumably - bedrooms. 

A tall wooden table stood in its middle, already decked out with foods of all kinds and variety. Hao spotted Taerae sitting down on one side, immersed in a conversation with another servant. Shyly, he shuffled his way over. When he was only a few steps away, Taerae looked up, smiling brightly.

“Hao! Come here, you can sit next to me,” Taerae quickly called him over and Hao was relieved to get some clear instructions on how to behave.

The servant Taerae had been talking with quickly stood up to make room for him and Hao felt bad that he had interrupted their conversation. 

“Don’t worry, I have to get going anyway,” the servant told him, apparently having read Hao’s thoughts.

He had a bright smile, a sturdy stature and auburn colored hair. His scent reminded him of sweet maple.

“Hao, that’s Seok Matthew. He’s a servant at the castle. Matthew, this is Zhang Hao, an old friend of mine,” Taerae introduced them to each other. 

When Matthew reached out his hand, Hao hurried over to shake it. 

“I’m usually assigned to the Sung family, but Taerae and I go way back,” Matthew told him with a mischievous smile. “If you ever need anything, don’t be afraid to call for me.”

“Oh, that’s too kind,” Hao answered, a little flustered. “I’m not of noble heritage. You don’t need to attend to me.”

Matthew snorted. “Who said I meant to call on me as a servant?”

Hao flushed red. He hadn’t meant to insult Matthew. 

“He’s just messing with you,” Taerae rolled his eyes. “Matthew likes to joke around a lot.”

Matthew playfully scowled at Taerae. “You say that as if that isn’t the reason why we’re friends.”

Taerae chuckled fondly. 

Hao’s heart was only now calming down, having sped up in his panic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Matthew laughed brightly. “Don’t worry, Taerae was right. I’m just kidding. I hope we can be friends.”

Hao nodded slowly, pulling at the hem of his shirt. “Yes. I hope so, too.”

Matthew laughed again, giving Taerae’s back a pat before disappearing outside. 

Hao sank into the chair next to Taerae, knees still feeling weak. 

“Sorry about him. I should’ve warned you, he likes to tease people,” Taerae apologized to him, seeing how Hao was still in anguish. 

Hao swallowed. He had expected he would ridicule himself in the castle, but he had hoped he would at least last a day before doing so. 

“No, I’m sorry. I'm just not used to any of this anymore,” Hao vaguely pointed at the lavishly decorated room and multiple servants putting more dishes onto the table. “I’m not sure I fit in.”

Taerae frowned at him. “Don’t worry too much. After all, you’ve been invited here. You have as much right to stay here as anyone else.”

Hao wasn’t sure if he agreed with that, but he didn’t want to argue with Taerae who had been nothing but kind to him.

The door to the room swung open again, this time it was his mother and Lady Kim coming inside. They were followed by a small man who Hao didn’t recognize at first. Only when he smiled did he notice the resemblance to Taerae. This must be Taerae’s father - his scent had a similar sweet quality as Taerae’s. 

Quickly, Hao stood up, greeting the hosts with a deep bow. 

“Hao! I see you already found your way here,” Lady Kim greeted him, sitting down at the head of the table. “This is my husband, Taerae’s father.”

The man nodded in Hao’s direction, sitting down next to his wife. Hao bowed his head again. 

“It’s nice to meet you. Thank you so much for inviting us,” he said, only sitting down when the two of them had.

His mother gave him an approving look before taking a seat next to Lord Kim. 

“Of course. When you were younger, we got together like this often,” Lady Kim said. “Your father was a great conversationalist.”

Hao hoped his smile didn’t dim too noticeably at the mention of his father. He hadn’t expected to be confronted with this directly on his first day back. 

“The food looks delicious!” Taerae chimed in. “I’m sure you must be hungry after your long journey.”

Hao let out the breath he had been holding. 

“You’re right,” Lord Kim agreed. “Why don’t we start eating first?”

“Yes, I suppose we should eat. It’s been a long day for all of us,” Lady Kim let herself be swayed off topic. She reached for the roasted chicken in front of her, loading first her mate’s plate before taking a piece for herself.

Hao gave Taerae a grateful look, who winked at him in return.

Conversation flowed naturally after that and Hao was relieved to find that he didn’t have to participate much. His mother was more than happy to answer all questions about their journey and their cottage, how they had fared the last few years and how they were feeling about their return. 

Hao, who had always loved food, was more than delighted to busy himself with eating. Everything tasted divine and he had been starving since the morning. Despite cooking being one of the skills he lacked most in - or maybe because of it - Hao appreciated every meal he got to have. 

The table was cleared of most dishes when the conversation circled back to him. 

“Of course, we were more than delighted when the invitation arrived,” Hao’s mother said, smiling proudly as if being invited had been an accomplishment and not earned by money. “It’s so hard to find a suitable mate for Hao in the countryside.”

Taerae’s mother nodded eagerly. “Yes. This is Taerae’s third courting season, and we have yet to find an alpha that is agreeable to all of us.”

She send a pointed look to Taerae, making it obvious that Taerae must’ve been the one not agreeing to the alphas.

“Well, it’s important to find someone eligible who is a good match,” Hao’s mother said. “That’s why we’ve come to the castle. Hao needs to find a good alpha.”

Hao lowered his head, more than embarrassed. He didn’t want to see the expressions of the Kim family - his mother might delude herself into thinking anyone here would show interest in Hao, but he was sure the Kim family knew how outlandish such thinking was. 

Lady Kim simply raised her glass. “To a successful courting season.”

While their parents toasted to each other, Hao found Taerae’s eyes. His grimace looked almost painful and Hao nearly chortled. 

He supposed, if he couldn’t find a mate, then he at least had already found a friend. 

For the second night in a row, sleep wouldn’t find Hao. After a relaxing bath, he had put on his most comfortable sleeping gown, hopeful to get to bed and catch up on his missed sleep. Maybe due to his earlier nap, or maybe because of the dark clouds of worry still lingering in his mind, nothing seemed to work. He’s been staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours. Outside his window he could see the pale shape of the moon shining. 

Back at the cottage, this was when he would’ve gotten up to take a walk, maybe visit the grave of his father. Of course, he couldn’t do that here. Omegas were not supposed to roam around alone, especially not at night. Yet, his feet wouldn’t stop moving. 

Hao sighed, feeling restless. He gave up on sleep. He could at least try to tire himself out. Finding the gardens shouldn’t be too hard, right?

He pushed his sheets aside. It was a mild night for winter, pleasantly fresh but not cold, so he forewent taking his jacket. Nobody would see him anyway in his nightgown, way too late for anyone to be up. 

 

The door to his room creaked a little as he pushed it open, but as expected, there was no one up. Quickly, Hao slid into his slippers, taking a candle with him to light his way. It almost felt calming, wandering the halls at night, a serene atmosphere filling the castle. With no one around, Hao felt less overwhelmed. Taerae had offered him to tour the castle together after dinner, but Hao had declined, already having seen too many people for one day. 

Now, finding himself alone, he felt a sense of adventure rush through his body. It reminded him of playing hide and seek as a kid, venturing into corners he had never been to before. 

It was sort of thrilling, exploring the castle when no one was awake. Hao’s first idea to visit the garden for a breath of fresh air was quickly disregarded. Instead, he headed into the scholar’s courtyard. Tall pillars framed the yard, a stone table and a small amphitheater right in its middle, to hold discussion or classes out in the open. Hao climbed down the seats on one side and then ascended on the opposite side, crossing the yard. He was standing in front of another gate, leading out of the scholar’s quarters.

Hao hesitated for a moment, not sure if he was allowed to go this far on his own. But seeing as nobody was awake to scold him anyway, he pushed at it, excited when it opened underneath his force. The windows in this part of the castle weren’t tinted blue, but in a golden-orange hue. It gave the entire hallway a warm glow. 

Hao wasn’t sure who’s rooms were located here, but by the lavish decorations and big frames portraying important people, he guessed it had to be noblemen. 

The realization hit him like cold water.

He stopped wandering. Maybe it had been a bad idea to come here after all. Who was Hao to wander the halls of nobles? He was a simple omega, alone, at night. If someone would find him here, it would look bad for him. 

What had he been thinking? The excitement of being in a new place and discovering its secrets had gotten to his head. He turned on his heels. 

Had he come from the left or the right? 

He had been so enthralled by the large paintings, he hadn’t paid attention to what direction he had been taking. His chest constricted with panic. 

No, he had to focus. He looked left and right. That one flower vase looked vaguely familiar. He thought he must’ve come across it earlier. 

Hesitantly, he walked right. He only needed to find back into the scholar’s courtyard. He could find his way back from there. He looked out the window, but it wasn’t the scholar’s courtyard he spotted outside. Instead, a lot of greenery greeted him, looking significantly different from the plastered courtyard he had come from. 

Had he really gone that far?

Hao felt panic again. At the next corner he checked left and right again but he didn’t recognize anything. Should he go back? No, surely if he kept going along the windows, at some point he would have to find the courtyard again.

But no matter how long he wandered, he remained lost.

His thoughts were speeding up, running too fast for his mind to comprehend. Oh, what had he done? What would his mother say should they find him here in the morning? Would they send them away again? It was all his fault!

Breathing got harder, but he decided to just keep going. If he stopped, he was really lost. He couldn’t stop. 

He turned another corner and suddenly ran into a hard surface. 

He gasped in shock, almost dropping his candle. Dread filled him as he saw what he had run into. His last hope, namely that he was out here alone, was diminished. 

A man was looking at him in shock, rubbing his chest where Hao had run into him. He looked to be around his age, smooth skin and brown hair. He was wearing light blue robes. In contrast to the dark blue ones of scholars his shimmered underneath the light like the inside of a shell. Little silver threats knitted into them, showing off his wealth. There was a small crest stitched to the right corner of his chest.

Hao swallowed. Of course, he was in the noble quarters. This had to be a nobleman. 

Only then his eyes flickered to his face. He was met with wide eyes and gentle features that for some reason looked vaguely familiar. 

Hao didn’t dare to look at him a moment longer, quickly lowering his head. He hoped this noble wouldn’t be too harsh about his presence here. He bit down on his lip, awaiting to be reprimanded.

“Hao? Zhang Hao?”

His head snapped up. How did this man know his name?

The man didn’t look angry in the slightest when Hao looked at him again. No, there was a mixture of disbelief and awe written all over his face. The lack of hostility gave Hao the confidence to take him in properly this time. 

Warm brown eyes were staring at him, framed by long lashes. The man was around the same height as he was, but his scent wasn’t sweet, instead smelling of the forest. Hao squinted his eyes and the man’s cheeks blushed to a rosy pink. 

The pieces fell into place. 

“Hanbin?”

The man - Hanbin - nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. 

“Is it really you? It’s been years,” Hanbin said, smile growing bigger the longer he looked at Hao. 

“Yes,” Hao replied breathlessly. 

Sung Hanbin had taken classes with him back when his father had been teaching at the castle. He was a year younger, but had been very eager to learn, always asking his teachers the most riveting questions. He had been ruddy cheeked and wide-eyed as a child, always trailing after Hao. 

The thing Hao remembered most about Hanbin was that - despite every adult assuming Hao to present as an alpha - he had insisted Hao would be an omega whenever the topic had come up. Hao hadn’t cared much about presenting as a child, but Hanbin had never strayed from his strong conviction. Which, in hindsight, had been very right about. 

Another thing Hao remembered about Hanbin was his blushy cheeks, always getting so flustered when Hao pointed out mistakes in his homework. 

A feature he had kept to this day, it seemed.

Hanbin’s cheeks crinkled up, like little whiskers as he beamed at him in pure delight. 

“I can’t believe it’s really you! I’ve heard rumors about your return, but I didn’t expect to run into you like this,” Hanbin said, taking a step closer. He looked Hao up and down. His scent of pinewood and forest grew stronger. Unlike him, Hanbin had presented as what could only be described as the epitome of an alpha - strong, tall and handsome. The realization hit Hao at once and made breathing a little harder.

Suddenly Hao realized just how exactly Hanbin had found him. Alone, at night, lost. Dressed in only his light sleeping gown.

Flustered, Hao crossed his arms in front of his torso, trying to shield himself from the alpha’s gaze. He lowered his head. “I’m sorry. I…couldn’t sleep and got lost taking a walk.”

Hanbin’s scent shifted into a more calming fragrance. “No, no, erm…” he cleared his throat. “I can walk you back? If you want to?”

The extreme embarrassment of the situation only now hit Hao. Running into someone he had known as a child like this - a noble alpha at that! Hanbin and him might’ve gotten along as children, but they were no longer children. Hanbin was an alpha of real standing now and Hao was…well…nothing, really.

“I’m so sorry to bother you. I know this is really improper. You must want to go to sleep,” Hao mumbled, trying to pull his sleeping gown tighter around his body.

“No, don’t worry, I was just going over some documents and wanted to get some fresh air myself,” Hanbin assured him. “Let me escort you back to your rooms. Please.”

Hao felt so pitiful. He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. He couldn’t believe this was his first day back. 

When he didn’t say anything in his shame, unable to move, Hanbin acted on his own. 

“You are staying in the scholar’s quarters, I assume?” Hanbin asked him, taking a few steps ahead. 

“Yes,” Hao whispered, following him dutifully because anything else would’ve been rude at this point. He had already burdened Hanbin enough. 

“You’ve come quite the way then,” Hanbin said, tone surprisingly upbeat. “You still like to wander around, it seems.”

“I’m sorry. Usually, I pay more attention to where I’m going,” Hao muttered, staring at his feet. “I know I’m not supposed to be here.”

“It’s alright,” Hanbin told him, turning left and pushing a door open. 

Hao was relieved to find himself back in the scholar’s courtyard. He bowed deeply to Hanbin.

“Thank you so much,” he said. “I’ll find my way back from here.”

When he looked up, Hanbin seemed a bit hesitant about something, but then he nodded. 

“Don’t mention it,” he said casually. “I’m happy to see you again.”

Hao almost winced. If it were any other circumstances, he would’ve been much happier about seeing Hanbin again as well. Like this, it was hard to feel anything other than embarrassed. 

Hao bowed again, before turning around and walking away as fast as his feet would carry him.

He hoped Sung Hanbin would forget all about him the next morning.

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading!!
Hehe, I know there is not much happening yet plot-wise, but at least we're introduced to most of the important character now!! Let me know what you think!! :D

Have a wonderful day and always stay healthy <3

Chapter 3: Foxglove

Summary:

foxglove. associated with elegance, mystery and intrigue, alluring blooms that capture one's attention

Notes:

Hehe we're back with a new chapter already!! Please enjoy :3

Hao awoke feeling surprisingly well-rested. After his unfortunate endeavor last night, he had lain awake worrying about every mistake in his life that had led him to this point, until eventually exhaustion got to him. Even his overactive brain was a victim to sleep. 

He pushed his sheets away and climbed out of bed. His naked feet felt cold against the stone tiles and he hurried to the small bathroom attached to his bedroom. Fortunately his years living at the cottage had made him quite self-sufficient so Hao had no problem drawing his own bath with warm water. When he was about to undress he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. He looked disheveled after the night, his night robes all askew. His face flushed hotly at the memory of running into Hanbin looking like this. His mother would faint should she hear about his unruly appearance. Or strangle him. 

Hao jumped into the tub, hoping for the water to wipe away the memories. At least in comparison to the cottage, the castle was a big place. Chances that he’d run into Hanbin again were slim. They were of different social standings. Despite being past acquaintances, it was unlikely for them to ever interact again. Hao tried to hold on to the assumption that a noble alpha like Hanbin would never look in his direction twice. 

 

When he emerged from his bath, dressed into his usual robes, he found his room no longer empty. Taerae had made himself comfortable on his bed, a small platter of fruits now perched on his bedside table. 

Hao, who was still not used to not being alone, was first shocked and then utterly delighted by the unexpected company. 

“Good morning,” Taerae greeted him, sitting up straight. He nodded towards the food. “I brought you some breakfast. Thought I could maybe show you around after that.”

Hao didn’t know what to say at first. While he had felt a shy sprout of friendship bloom between him and Taerae, he hadn’t expected for him to care about him quite so directly.

“Thank you,” he exhaled, cheeks moving up with his smile. He could smell his own scent sweetening with happiness. “That would be really lovely.”

Taerae picked up the plate of food and patted the empty space next to him for Hao to sit down. Together they finished the assortment of fruits Taerae had prepared for them. Hao hadn’t shared food with anyone except his mother for ages.

Taerae picked up the empty plate once they were done. 

“I guess our first stop can be the kitchen,” he decided, which Hao had no reason to disagree with. 

 

Taerae was an exceptional guide - after spending his entire life living in the castle, Hao had expected nothing less. After a short trip down to the basement, where the kitchens were located, he smoothly showed Hao around the scholar’s wing. This was the place Hao remembered most vividly from his childhood, although quite a few things had changed over the years. Out on the courtyard, one of the scholars was teaching what looked like a class of seven-year-old noblemen about medicinal herbs. 

Hao listened interested as they passed the lesson, happy when he understood the section of Foxglove they were learning about. 

They went a different way than Hao had wandered last night, instead heading into part of the castle that was open to the public. Taerae explained that this was where all the balls and dinners would be held. Hao swallowed nervously at the notion of courting rituals.

“The first ball is still a few weeks away, but there’s gonna be a welcome dinner for all courting participants tonight,” Taerae let him know. “And then in a few days, of course, the formal start of the courting season. The Official Introduction.”

Hao pulled the sleeves of his robe over his fingers so he could fiddle with them anxiously. His mother had taught him a little about the courting rituals at the castle, but it still all felt like a lot to him. Just thinking about the Official Introduction, where he’d be announced as an eligible omega, made him nauseous. 

Taerae seemed to pick up on his nerves. “I know how you feel, I was quite anxious before my first courting season as well, but soon you’ll see there’s not much to worry about. Most alphas are very respectful and today’s dinner is not gonna be overly formal.”

Hao nodded, not feeling very encouraged by those words. He doubted any alphas would show any interest in him and then his mother would probably be very disappointed in him, having wasted all this time and money coming here.

Sensing that Hao did not share his ease, Taerae playfully nudged his shoulder. 

“What if I show you a place that I’m sure you’ll love?” Taerae suggested, hooking their arms and pulling Hao in a different direction. 

They were heading back towards the scholar wing, which Hao was a bit confused by at first, since they had already covered that area on the tour. However, Taerae led him into a different corner, pushing open a big wooden gate.

The breath got stuck in Hao’s throat. Rows and rows of books were filling the high ceilings of the new room. The smell of parchment and ink filled the air. Every centimeter of this room was stuffed to the brim with knowledge. Hao’s fingers itched with the urge to explore.

Taerae smiled next to him. “I knew you’d like the new library,” he said, quietly pushing the gate close behind them. “They remodeled this section a few years ago.”

Hao took a step forward, mouth dropped open in awe. “It’s…fantastic.”

The library in the village had been nothing in comparison to this paradise. It had taken Hao only a few months to work through every book there, but he could probably spend years and years reading here.

“I thought this would be more your thing,” Taerae said, eyes glimmering with amusement. “You were always carrying books around back then as well.”

Hao smiled at the memory. It had been a habit of his father to carry his scripts around, so Hao, determined to follow in his footsteps, was never caught without something to read in his arms either.

“I love it,” Hao confirmed, returning Taerae’s smile.

Taerae’s expression turned a little sheepish now. “Actually, would it be okay to leave you here for now? I have a choir rehearsal to attend.”

At the prospect of Taerae leaving so soon, Hao felt a tinge of disappointment, but then he berated himself. Of course, Taerae had duties, he wasn’t here to be around Hao all the time. He had taken up more than enough of Taerae’s time already. Besides, he had this whole library to keep him busy.

“Of course,” Hao nodded. “Thank you for showing me around.”

“Don’t mention it. I’m glad to have someone else to talk to than Matthew for a change,” Taerae told him jokingly. “I’ll see you tonight for the welcome dinner.”

A few moments later, Hao was on his own again. He inhaled deeply. Then he looked around. He would be fine.

 

He strolled down the long corridor of shelves, slowly examining the different sections. He was amazed by the variety of topics covered by all the books. There had been a library in the castle when he had been a child as well, but it had been much smaller, simply a selection of all the scholar’s works. This went far beyond. Books about medicine, history, art, music, literature, nature, planets - it seemed like all the knowledge of the world was gathered in one place. Hao didn’t know where to start.

Wasn’t this why he had decided to come back to the castle in the first place? To escape his loneliness, but also to trace the footsteps of his father, learning everything that he had thought important? 

Suddenly, Hao knew exactly where to start.

His father’s works had mainly focused on philosophy and justice, discussing what was wrong and right and debating all the gray shades between that. Hao remembered people calling his father a great thinker, wise beyond knowledge. Hao loved picking his own brain about all the moral dilemmas his father had presented him with. It made him feel like what he thought could actually make a change in the world, like it actually mattered.

Of course, that was before…everything.

Hao had reached the philosophy section by now. It was a lot smaller than the other sections, but still held dozens of books and essays. A faint smile traced Hao’s lips as he discovered one of his father’s most influential works in between them. 

A distribution of wealth and health. 

Hao let his finger glide over the back of the book. He had read it so often, he knew it by heart. It was a piercing argument about their kingdom’s unjust practices. His father had always been a faithful believer of equal opportunities and therefore dedicated his research to improving chances for everyone. From what Hao knew by what people had told him, this work of his father had elicited an actual change in their world. Medicine had become accessible to even the smallest villages on their borders, in turn increasing their productivity and the general wealth of the people. Hao couldn’t imagine a world where seeing a healer and getting medical treatment were bound to your money - and it made him proud that that had been his father’s doing.

Sometimes, he wished he could enforce similar positive changes in the world but he knew those dreams were silly. Sure, Hao had enjoyed an education, but he had no voice and worse, he had no courage. He doubted anyone would even listen to him. The days where he felt that his words held any importance were long since forgotten. For most of his life, he had spoken to only his mother and even she didn’t seem like she cared much about what he had to say. Not that he had anything much to say in the first place.

Suddenly overcome with sadness, Hao turned his head away from the books. Maybe coming here was a huge mistake. He had already ridiculed himself and he was sure it would only get worse. He wasn’t wise and smart like his father, nor was he beautiful and sharp like his mother. He just…was. 

“Hao?”

Hao shrieked, dropping the book he had absentmindedly picked out of the shelf. His heart punched against his chest as he spun around, somebody already crouching by his feet to pick up his book for him. 

Hao’s face paled once he recognized who had found him once more.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Hanbin stood up straight again, smiling crookedly.

He was only a breath shorter than Hao, otherwise standing tall and broad in front of him. Heat rose to his cheeks.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m not used to so many people around. I…startle easily,” Hao replied, respectfully lowering his head.

So much for not running into Hanbin ever again. Fate was really playing a twisted game with him. If only the ground would open and swallow him.

Hanbin seemed oblivious to his inner turmoil. He handed the book back to him, however not without reading its title first.

“ Nurturing nature ,” he read out loud. “Sounds interesting.”

Hao quickly accepted the book, holding it close to his chest. “I haven’t read it yet. I just picked anything.”

“Well, tell me what it’s about then once you’re done,” Hanbin suggested casually. “Unfortunately, I don’t have much time to read philosophical scriptures anymore. I was heading to pick up the recent trade records here.”

Hao immediately stepped out of Hanbin’s way. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hold you up.”

This time, Hanbin laughed, the sound gentle and soft - it made Hao look up from his feet to see his face. His features were warm and open. He didn’t look intimidating at all - quite the opposite. Something about his presence exudes safety.

“I think it was the other way around,” Hanbin told him, eyes crinkled up. “But I’m happy to see you again. In daylight, this time.”

Hao kept watching Hanbin. Now, under the sunlight, his attractiveness was even more evident. He was again wearing fine robes, appropriate to his standing and his stance was tall and confident. It was hard to imagine a time where Hanbin had been stumbling after him. Just a young boy, eager to learn, falling over his robes trying to catch up with Hao.

“Sorry for inconveniencing you again,” Hao mumbled, lowering his gaze again.

“No, we’re old friends, aren’t we?” Hanbin argued right away. “And friends help each other out.”

Hao wasn’t sure what to say but Hanbin’s friendly nature made it hard to feel anything but comfortable in his presence. If Hanbin could see past the obvious reasons why he shouldn’t even be talking to Hao, maybe Hao could, too. After all, Hanbin was right, they were old friends. Hao couldn’t help but want to have a friend in Hanbin.

“They do,” Hao agreed with a faint smile, which Hanbin returned with full force.

It was a nice smile. It reminded Hao of the young boy Hanbin used to be, clumsy with his steps and with his words, naive and innocent like the child he had been. 

Only when Hanbin kept looking at him did Hao shift his eyes away again. Hanbin awkwardly cleared his throat.

“Hanbin, there you are!” A familiar voice interrupted their brief conversation.

It was Matthew, whose gaze brightened with recognition as he spotted Hao.

“I found those trade records for you,” Matthew told him, holding up a folder with documents.

“Thank you,” Hanbin replied, happy to take the papers from him. He glanced back at Hao. “Right, Matthew, this is Hao. His father used to teach me philosophy.”

“We’ve met,” Matthew explained, grinning at Hao.

Of course, Hao could’ve connected the dots back when he had first met Matthew. He had told him he was primarily working for the Sung family. There was only one noble family with that surname. At least, judging by Matthew’s sincere smile, he wasn’t holding a grudge against him for his last faux pas. 

“I should probably go now,” Hanbin said, almost looking…regretful? No, surely Hao was reading his expression wrong. “But I hope we run into each other again. Perhaps tonight? At the welcome dinner?”

Hao almost choked trying to answer. “Oh, yes, I think my attendance will be expected at dinner.”

He bowed his head once more as Hanbin bid his goodbye. To his surprise, when he looked up, Matthew was still standing in front of him. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes. Hao wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. 

Matthew took a step towards him.

“Want me to show you the best reading spot?” Matthew suggested with a leisure grin.

Hao lowered his gaze - he technically didn’t have to because Matthew was not of higher standing than him but it had quickly become a habit since arriving at the castle.

“I don’t want to keep you from your duties,” Hao mumbled.

After Taerae and now Hanbin, he didn’t want to make it a habit to waste people’s time.

Matthew snorted. “Hanbin can manage a few minutes without me. He’s not really strict when it comes to my punctuality.”

Somehow, hearing that didn’t surprise Hao too much. The impression Hanbin had left on him didn’t speak of harshness. And after already offending Matthew once it would be rude to reject him twice.

“Then I would love for you to show me a place to read,” Hao said, clutching the book to his chest.

Matthew’s grin widened. “Follow me then.”

Matthew definitely knew his way around the library, effortlessly navigating past the high shelves until they reached an area that was more open and filled with quiet whispers of what looked like other students. As a servant working for the castle, Matthew had perfected the way to glide through the hallways, unseen, unheard. Hao kind of envied him for it, feeling so utterly clumsy on his feet. 

“So, you knew Hanbin as a child?” Matthew asked him as he guided Hao to a wooden bench with three blue pillows on top. 

Hao nodded, happy to break the silence. “Yes, we used to attend the same classes.”

Matthew’s grin turned mischievous. “What was he like?”

Hao took a moment to think, not knowing what a proper answer was - but he felt like he could trust Matthew with the truth.

“I used to be much taller than him. He was very curious, but a bit…uncoordinated, I’d say,” Hao answered what he could remember of Hanbin. 

Matthew snickered. “I can see that. I got to the castle when I was sixteen and old enough to work here on my own, so I only got to know Hanbin as the confident alpha with this pristine image and no flaws. But I bet he was just as awkward as all of us as a child.”

Hao smiled at Matthew’s description. “I suppose,” he mused. “But he’s also always been that. Confident, I think.”

Matthew groaned, apparently hoping for a darker history on Hanbin. Even if Hao wanted to, there just wasn’t anything bad he remembered about Hanbin. His memories of his time at the castle were a bit blurred anyway. If anything, Matthew probably knew Hanbin a lot better than he did. 

“I’ll leave you to read then,” Matthew said, getting up from the bench. “See you around.”

Hao nodded gratefully and watched as Matthew moved out of the library. There was an ease to his steps that Hao could only dream of. 

Now truly left alone, Hao focused back on the book. He had blindly picked it up. Originally, he had wanted to search for some of his father’s works that he hadn’t read yet, but at the same time he wasn’t feeling quite ready for that just yet. Reading something different might be a better start and the title sounded intriguing enough.

He opened the cover and sunk back into the cushions.

 

When Hao next lifted his head from the book, having just finished reading its last page, he was shocked to see that it was already afternoon. He had been so entranced by getting to read something new, he completely lost track of time. Quickly, he jumped to his feet.

After he returned the book to its rightful place, he hurried back to the scholar’s quarters. Just as he had feared, his mother was already waiting for him in front of his room, arms crossed in front of her chest and a stern look on her face.

“Zhang Hao!” She greeted him with a disapproving frown. “Where have you been all day?”

Hao lowered his head, face heating up. Hardly a day had passed and he was already disappointing his mothers. “I was at the library.”

His mother sighed and shook her head. “Should’ve thought of that.”

She opened the door to his room and ushered him inside. To his surprise the room wasn’t empty. Seemed like his mother had also been busy in the meantime. Clothes and beauty articles on his bed and dresser.

“We’ve lost some time getting you ready for dinner, but we’ll have to make do,” his mother tutted, forcing him to sit down in front of the mirror. 

Immediately, she started working on his face and hair. It all happened so fast, Hao didn’t even get the opportunity to protest.

Over time, Hao had forgotten that his mother used to work in fashion - there was no reason to care for clothing or appearances at the cottage - but seeing her dress him up so effortlessly was a good reminder.

“While tonight’s not the Official Introduction of you as an eligible omega, it is still an event where you can leave a lasting first impression,” his mother explained to him and Hao winced as she pulled his hair out of his face. “So you have to present yourself from your best side.”

His mother had taught him about proper etiquette for these formal events but Hao felt awfully nervous about behaving wrongly. Back at the cottage there were hardly any noble people around that cared about customs. He could only hope to not totally humiliate himself. 

Once his face and hair had been prodded enough his mother stepped away. Hao blinked at himself in the mirror - his features now looked almost doll-like. His stomach flipped. He felt ridiculous.

His mother didn’t give him any time to adjust to this new image as she handed him his clothes.

“We’ll leave the fancy robes for the dances, so I have decided on this for tonight,” his mother told him. “Put it on so we can see if it fits right.”

Hao excused himself to the bathroom, glad that he could do this on his own. He was relieved when he saw that the clothes weren’t too outlandish, a simple white shirt and black slacks that fit him like a glove. There was also a red ribbon that Hao wasn’t sure what to do with. 

When he stepped back outside, his mom eyed him critically. 

She practically ripped the red string out of his hand and began tying it around his arms in an elaborate manner.

Hao only dared to exhale when she stepped away, seemingly satisfied with his appearance for now.

“Great. Now don’t get yourself dirty until dinner starts. I’ll go get dressed myself and then we’ll head to dinner together,” she let him know. “Lady Kim and Taerae will accompany us as well.”

Hao nodded wordlessly, only noticing now that he hadn’t spoken a single word while his mother had gotten him ready. The door fell shut behind her as she left and Hao let out a big sigh.

 

The only thing that made him feel slightly less nauseous about tonight was the fact that Taerae would be joining him. He knew his mother wanted him to use this dinner to make an impression on the young available alphas, maybe form some first connections, but Hao doubted he could do such things. When he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror he quickly turned his gaze away again. He felt like a fool dressed up like this, wearing clothes he wasn’t worthy of. 

Hao wasn’t the type of omega that alphas were looking for, no amount of beautiful garments and cosmetics could cover that up. He felt embarrassed even attempting to gain anyone’s attention. 

He started fiddling with the red ribbon that was artfully draped across his white shirt and then slapped his own hand away. His mother would probably kill him if he messed up his appearance. 

 

The seconds passed by and Hao tried to focus on his breathing, wanting to distract himself from the uneasy feeling in his guts. He thought about the book he had read earlier, about environmental philosophy. It did help steady his breathing a little. 

His pulse shot up again when there was a  knock at his door. Taerae pushed his door open, sticking his head inside.

“Hao? Are you ready to leave?” He asked him with a grimace.

Hao got up from his bed. Taerae was dressed in a dark silk shirt, much more muted than Hao. It made him want to turn around and hide in his blankets. Taerae also took in his appearance, gaze traveling up and down his body once. Luckily, he didn’t comment on it. 

“Our mothers are waiting,” Taerae informed him, stating the exact reason why Hao couldn’t just follow his instincts and run away.

He forced himself to smile and followed Taerae outside. Indeed, Lady Kim and his mother were waiting, impatiently whispering to each other. When Hao’s mother saw him approach, she immediately took his arm.

“A last few reminders,” his mother began lecturing him as they made their way through the castle. “Don’t eat too much, it might look unseemly. Don’t show any disrespect. Don’t talk first. It’s probably best if you don’t talk too much at all. These events are all about being seen and not heard.”

Hao nodded, head buzzing with her advice. 

She took his hands, holding them firmly. “Hao, do your best. Don’t be afraid. You will not disappoint me.”

Hao wasn’t so sure about that. Despite his mother trying her best to prepare him for courting, he didn’t feel ready at all. Her voice suddenly felt so far away.

Lady Kim and Taerae entered the big hall first. Hao caught Taerae’s eyes, who mouthed a silent ‘ Good Luck ’ in his direction. 

Then his mother and him followed. There were already a lot of people in the hall, standing around a long table that could seat at least a hundred people. Hao kept his head low, bowing whenever they passed someone without meeting their eyes. Only when they reached a corner was Hao brave enough to lift his gaze to roam around the other people.

Lots of omegas and their chaperones were standing on their side of the table. Relief washed over Hao when he noticed that he was by far not the most outstandingly dressed one in attendance. 

On the opposite side of the table all the young alphas were gathered, talking to each other while occasionally stealing glances towards them. When Hao noticed, he tried to step behind his mother to hide, but she insistently pushed him forward into view. Hao decided to just stare at his feet instead. 

 

It took a few more minutes until the dining hall fell quiet. The doors opened again and Hao only saw for the fraction of a second who had entered before bowing deeply. 

It was the queen with a few of her handmaidens stepping through the crowd towards the head of the table. As head omega she was in charge of overseeing all courting rituals. Hao had never seen her in person before, alone her presence felt otherworldly. 

She softly cleared her throat and around him people straightened their backs again so Hao followed and curiously looked to where the royal family was standing. 

The queen smiled.

“I am so delighted to welcome you all to the castle. While the courting season hasn’t officially started yet, I thought it was only customary to hold this dinner for all our guests,” she spoke and Hao was fascinated by the wispy quality of her voice, almost like wind chimes. “May all of you find true love this year.”

People clapped politely after the short speech.

“And now without further ado - our servants have prepared a lovely meal. Let’s all enjoy it together,” she said, sitting down at the head of the table. Her entourage quickly followed suit, as did everyone else. 

Hao was glad that he found himself in between his mother and Taerae, who winked at him playfully. Soon dozens of servants roamed around the hall to bring in various dishes. Hao, who hadn’t eaten since the morning, felt saliva gathering in his mouth. Only the scolding eyes of his mother stopped him from loading his plate full. 

After the queen took her first bite, people began eating and dinner conversations filled the room.

Taerae leaned over to him. “And? Has anyone sparked your interest so far?”

Hao blushed. He hadn’t spared a single thought on judging the alphas on their likability. He didn’t think he’d get to choose one anyway. It would be a miracle if even one of them showed him any interest. 

He shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.”

Taerae shrugged, like that wasn’t unusual. “They have to make the first effort anyway, before we can return their favor.”

“H-have you seen anyone you might fancy?” Hao asked in return. It was quite unusual that Taerae was still unmated after having been part of multiple courting seasons but he hadn’t dared to ask for the reason until now.

Taerae furrowed his brows. “I don’t judge them on their appearances. I mean, it doesn’t hurt if they’re easy on the eyes, but I prefer alphas with a sound mind and of great character.”

Hao could relate to that sentiment, although again he didn’t think he’d get to be quite so picky. He wondered how you could determine which alphas were of any intellect.

“It’s easier to talk to them during the dances,” Taerae seemed to have read his mind. “They keep us separated at the welcome dinner and the Official Introduction to keep a sense of propriety. But the dances are specifically there for us to mingle.”

Hao nodded in understanding. It relieved him that he wasn’t supposed to talk to any alphas just yet.

Taerae sighed. “Unfortunately, until now, no alpha has matched my wit yet. If they cannot keep up a good conversation while waltzing with me, they don’t interest me.”

Hao admired Taerae for his firm beliefs. At the same time he questioned if there was even any alpha who’d want to walz with someone like Hao. 

Shily, he glanced at the opposite side of the table, where all the eligible alphas had taken their seats. Many of them were wearing their family crests, stating their noble heritage. Few of them were like Hao himself, of wealth and therefore allowed to participate. Far down the table Hao recognized Hanbin, who was chatting with another noble alpha. Hao almost spat out his bite when Hanbin turned to look in his direction and quickly averted his gaze again. 

He finished the rest of his meal keeping his head down and talking quietly with Taerae who told him about his day. Since his mother was a scholar of the arts, Taerae enjoyed a further education in music and was part of the court choir. Hao envied him a little, but when Taerae invited him to watch their rehearsal in the future, he found the feeling fleeting. Only because Taerae had a place in court didn’t mean he was at fault for Hao’s lack of a purpose. So far Taerae had shown him nothing but kindness, it wouldn’t be fair to resent him for simply living a more interesting life than Hao. 

When the last dishes had been served and eaten, the queen rose to her feet again, ending the meal. Hao breathed a little easier knowing he had made it through the evening without any major mistakes. The crowd started dispersing and Hao’s mother pulled him along the guests heading towards the entrance gate. 

“Wait here for me, Hao. I saw a few old acquaintances I need to greet properly. Don’t go anywhere by yourself. Don’t talk to anyone on your own,” his mother told him firmly, before letting go of his arm to head into another direction. She was gone before he could react.

 

Suddenly overcome with panic, Hao’s chest began to feel tight. Lost in the crowd, he didn’t know what to do. Taerae and Lady Kim had already disappeared and his mother was out of sight as well. A few other omegas and their chaperones bumped into him, making Hao bow and keep apologizing. After the third time he decided to disregard his mother’s words and moved towards the wall, hoping to hide in the shadows. 

He kept his head down, counting the seconds in his head and hoping for his mother to return soon so they could leave.

“Good evening,” another pair of feet entered his field of vision, making Hao snap his head up. 

It was Hanbin, again, smiling warmly. 

He bowed his head in greeting.

“Did you enjoy your dinner? It’s a pity they don’t really let us talk to each other,” Hanbin asked him, clearly having no problem foregoing that custom.

Hao hesitated a little, remembering his mother’s words - but it wasn’t like Hanbin was an alpha in that sense. They had established a friendship based on their past, nothing more would happen. He glanced left and right but in between the chaos, nobody seemed to pay them any attention anyway.

“The meal was really lovely,” Hao replied, lifting his head again to properly look at Hanbin. He hadn’t quite eaten until he was full but the food had been delicious.

“Did you start reading that book? Nurturing Nature, right?” Hanbin asked him and Hao was a bit surprised that he actually kept up the conversation instead of dismissing him. Even more so that he actually remembered what book Hao had picked out this morning.

“Actually, I finished it,” Hao told him. 

Hanbin gaped at him. “Already?”

“It was really enthralling,” Hao confirmed. Back in the cottage he had often read multiple books a day. It wasn’t an usual way for him to spend his day.

“Really?” Hanbin asked curiously. “What was it about?”

Hanbin’s open interest intrigued him. When had he last spoken to anyone curious to hear about what some philosopher had tried to argue about? He couldn’t remember. Seeing Hanbin so genuinely interested made him feel giddy.

“It addressed the rights of our kind to inhabit land and destroy nature and other beings in doing so. There were quite a few interesting arguments, although I can’t agree with everything,” Hao explained to him - it was foreign to have someone to discuss these matters with and despite his mother’s warning to keep quiet, he couldn’t stop himself from talking. “After all, a higher form of intelligence doesn’t excuse senseless cruelty against other animals.”

Hanbin stared at him for a second and Hao realized how much he had been speaking. He bit down on his tongue. Had he blabbered too much? Was Hanbin not interested after all, only wanting to make polite conversation?

“I can’t say I disagree,” Hanbin said, finally. Then a warm smile spread on his lips. “You’ve grown up to be very smart, Hao.”

Hao felt heat rise to his cheeks. Nobody had ever complimented him quite so outwardly. 

“No. I just read a lot,” he denied right away. He had no experience in the real world, all his knowledge theoretical - he wouldn’t call himself smart.

“Well, I’d love to hear more of your thoughts,” Hanbin told him and he looked earnest as he said it. 

Hao couldn’t help but be reminded of the young boy trailing his footsteps back in the day, eager to learn from the older students. It made a smile form on his lips. 

“You haven’t changed much in all the years,” he told Hanbin as much. He had the feeling he could be honest with Hanbin. 

The alpha smiled sheepishly. “I should head back now. I still have some work to finish, but I meant what I said about learning more about your thoughts.”

Hao forgot to bow his head, too busy studying Hanbin’s features before he left and joined the crowd. 

Luckily, his mother hadn’t seen that. She found him a little later, grabbing his arm and fiercely pulling him out of the hall and back to the scholar’s quarters. 

 

When Hao went to bed that night, face scrubbed red and raw trying to remove the paints on his face, he couldn’t believe that only one day had passed, so much had happened.

At least he had been right about one thing. Coming here would not be boring.

Notes:

Thanks for reading!!
I feel like this a lot of just introductory stuff and world-building right now huhu im sorry i always take so long with these but the plot will pick up soon :D

Let me know what you think so far!!! I'm appreciate everyone's thoughts :33

Have a wonderful Friday <3

Chapter 4: Baby's Breath

Summary:

baby's breath. sign that it is time for you to take a new direction in life; fresh start; or a longing for the carefree days of childhood

Notes:

Huhu, welcome back, this chapter got so long, so it took me a while to put it out but I hope it was worth it!! Please enjoy :3

Hao didn’t believe it would happen, but somehow he adjusted to living in the castle. He found a routine that didn’t make him feel quite as lost. Most days he had breakfast with Taerae, sometimes they were joined by Matthew as well. Then he either followed Taerae around to his rehearsal - he found that he loved listening to the court’s choir - or he headed towards the library to read another book. 

Occasionally, Matthew would find him there and drag him outside to take a stroll. Matthew knew all the nooks and crannies of the castle and was privy to all its secrets. He also paid a lot of attention to gossip, which helped Hao a lot when it came to remembering all the names of the nobles he wasn’t yet really allowed to talk to.

Living at the castle wasn’t such a nightmare after all. He wasn’t alone anymore - he would even consider Taerae and Matthew his friends. His mother insisted on teaching him every day on etiquette - those were his least favorite hours of the day - but apart from that he actually found himself enjoying his stay. 

 

Today Taerae had a private rehearsal that Hao wasn’t permitted to listen in and Matthew hadn’t shown up for breakfast. By now, Hao could find his way to the library without problems and so his feet naturally carried him there. He headed straight for the philosophy section again. He had dabbled a little in natural sciences and medicine the past days, but nothing riveted him more than reading compelling arguments about moral dilemmas their world was facing. It fascinated him that thoughts could have an actual impact on the real world. 

He picked up a collection of essays that promised an entertaining discussion of the importance of freedom and safety. His eyes got stuck for a while. So far he had steered clear of reading any of his father’s works. He didn’t know what it would do to him to connect to him here of all places, where he had lost him. 

Together with his essay collection he made his way over to the reading and studying area. Just as he was about to sit down and get lost in the philosophical debate, someone blocked his path.

Hao nearly stumbled over his own feet trying not to run into him.

“Sorry, I keep startling you,” Hanbin apologized, having reached for Hao’s wrists to steady him. 

Hao blinked, puzzled by his sudden presence. They hadn’t really talked since the welcome dinner and he hadn’t seen Hanbin around much. Matthew had complained about how Hanbin’s heavy workload was making attending to him very boring, so he figured that the alpha had been kept more than busy. 

Hao couldn’t deny that seeing him again made him feel delighted. Back at the welcome dinner, he had really hoped they could foster a friendship in the future. Hanbin wasn’t intimidating like all the other noble alphas around, perhaps because they had known each other as children and Hao still saw that same young boy in him. 

“It’s alright. I told you I startle easily,” Hao told him, only now remembering to bow his head in respect. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t spoken to you sooner. A lot of people have traveled here for the courting season and my mother wants me to use this opportunity to form new connections in the trade,” Hanbin explained his recent absence. 

“No need to apologize,” Hao told him, after all Hanbin had no obligation towards him whatsoever. 

Honestly, the fact that Hanbin was speaking with him at all was already very considerate of him. An alpha like Hanbin didn’t have to entertain an omega of no standing like him. Hanbin probably had a lot more worthwhile options to talk to. It made Hao happy that Hanbin still sought him out.

“No, I feel bad. I want to make it up to you,” Hanbin insisted, stubborn yet charming at the same time - a mixture Hao was certain only he could pull off. “I thought of something you might like to see.”

That provoked Hao’s curiosity. He gave the essay collection another look, before flickering his gaze back to Hanbin. 

“What do you mean?” He asked, more than intrigued.

Hanbin smiled like he had achieved an outstanding victory. “Follow me and you’ll see.”

 

Under normal circumstances, an unmated alpha and omega roaming around the castle without a chaperone would’ve probably crossed the boundaries of propriety. However, the courting season hadn’t officially started yet and Hanbin didn’t seem to pay much attention to the fact that their companionship might be frowned upon. They were old friends, after all. 

They left the library and Hao was surprised that they stayed indoors, certain that Hanbin would’ve wanted to show him something outside. In fact, they headed towards the scholar’s quarters. The blue light falling through the windows made Hao feel more calm about this endeavor. Hanbin led him downstairs, where most of the scholar’s offices were located.

Realization dawned upon Hao as blurry memories started to become clear again and he recognized the path they were walking on.

They stopped in front of an inauspicious door. It looked old and a little dusty, like it hadn’t been opened in a long time. Hao swallowed.

“Hanbin, is this…?”

He didn’t need to finish that question. His eyes had found the old silver plaque attached to the wall that indicated whose office this was.

Zhang Fei. His father.

“It’s your father’s old office. For some reason, they never assigned it to another scholar. Maybe out of respect for him,” Hanbin answered his unspoken question. “Erm…I managed to get the key.”

Hao felt speechless. This place held so many fond memories for him. Reading with his father, playing hide and seek underneath his desk, learning how to write, pretending to prepare lectures himself. He hadn’t dared to find this place since his arrival, afraid seeing it ridded of his father’s presence would dull his memories. Learning that it was still here, untouched for years…it made his heart hurt. In a good way - the way that pain made you feel alive.

Hanbin seemed to interpret his silence wrongly.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought you here. It was a foolish idea. I just thought you might like to…no, I apologize,” Hanbin began talking but Hao shook his head.

“No. No…I-” his voice felt painfully raw. “Can we go inside?”

Hanbin fell silent, eyes widening a little. Then he nodded eagerly.

“Of course. It wasn’t easy to locate the key, but I thought if anyone should have it, it should be you,” Hanbin said, pulling an old metal key out of his pocket and handing it to him.

Hao’s hands trembled a little as the key glided through his fingers, cold and heavy. It had looked a lot bigger as a child, but now it fitted into his palm perfectly.

He faced the door and took a deep breath. Carefully, he put the key to the lock, listening as he turned it around and the lock sprung open. He exhaled. 

The hinges of the door squealed. It was obvious that nobody had entered this place in years. The air in the room was dusty and Hao coughed a few times. Behind him Hanbin sneezed, leaving the door wide open so fresh air could flow inside. 

Hao froze in his spot. The place looked just like he remembered it. The desk of his father stood in the middle of the room, papers with scribbled on notes laid strewed across it. Towers of books were in every corner of the room, despite the shelves on each wall filled with even more books. An old leather chair was standing behind the desk. 

It almost felt like his father had just left for a breath of fresh air, about to return to continue his work any second. But Hao knew that wasn’t true. He had buried his father many years ago. He would never come back.

“Hao?” Hanbin whispered quietly.

Hao quickly blinked the tears out of his eyes.

“Thank you,” Hao said, turning around to look at Hanbin. 

“Are you feeling well?” Hanbin asked him, concern written over his face.

Hao smiled bravely. Hanbin had given him such a beautiful gift, he felt he could be honest with him.

“When my mother told me we were coming back to the castle, I thought I could use it as an opportunity to feel closer to my father again. Maybe get some closure and process his death. I know, it’s been years but…this helps. So thank you.”

Hanbin’s eyes were kind as they rested on him.

“I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose a parent so young. You are allowed to take your time,” he told him. “I’m glad I could help a little.”

Truthfully, when his mother and him had left the castle practically overnight, Hao hadn’t really understood what had happened. And then at the cottage all his mother had ever done was repress that the death had even happened. Like it had always just been the two of them.

Hao had tried to come to terms with the loss on his own, but it had been hard. Sometimes he thought he was foolish for still thinking so much about it when so many years had passed, but hearing Hanbin’s words, he felt like he was entitled to have these emotions.

“You helped more than a little,” Hao said.

Hanbin shrugged, like it hadn’t cost him any effort when Hao knew how busy he had been. 

“I really liked your father. I thought he would think this was only right,” Hanbin stated, as if it was that simple. 

Hao laughed a little. “He really liked you, too. You were always so eager to learn. Although I remember him complaining about your messy handwriting.”

Hanbin groaned, rubbing his neck sheepishly. “Can’t say I have improved since.”

“I tutored you a lot when you were little, do you remember?” Hao said, suddenly feeling very nostalgic. Maybe it was this place and all the memories attached to it.

“I am not even a full year younger than you,” Hanbin argued, making Hao giggle.

“You were following my every step back then,” Hao teased him. “Like a puppy.”

Hanbin huffed, but there was no real anger behind his actions. Hao doubted many other alphas would’ve taken his teasing so lightly. His mother had strictly advised him to never threaten an alpha’s ego, but somehow he found being with Hanbin very comfortable. 

“You were right about one thing, though,” Hao hummed.

Hanbin perked up. “What?”

“I did become an omega. You were always very persistent about that,” Hao told him, remembering young Hanbin joining every discussion they had about presentation back then with that firm belief.

Now, he looked a bit embarrassed about his past self. “Well, we were all overly invested in our presentations as kids.”

Hao smiled. While he couldn’t say about himself that he had been obsessed with the idea of presenting as a child, many of his peers had talked about nothing else. In hindsight, Hao maybe should’ve treated it like a bigger deal. Maybe everything would’ve turned out different for them if Hao had presented as an alpha. 

Silence fell upon them. Hao felt Hanbin’s gaze rest heavily on him. It made his heart feel all weird. 

“Have you taken over your parent’s work?” Hao switched topics, maybe a bit bluntly. “I mean, now that you’re no longer studying?”

Hanbin looked a bit perplexed, before smiling again. “I work with them. Mostly it’s just coming up with new trade routes and treaties to make sure our kingdom is supplied with everything we need.”

Hao nodded impressed. “That sounds like important work.”

Hanbin shrugged. “I guess. Sometimes I just-” he stopped himself, only making Hao more intrigued. 

“Sometimes you just what?” He prompted curiously. 

Hanbin smiled a bit sheepishly. “I think I just miss studying. It was a lot of fun back then. With you.”

Hao’s heart pounded at the sudden admission. Was Hanbin telling the truth or was he just being polite? Somehow, he couldn’t picture Hanbin lying to him. 

Suddenly, Hanbin cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry, I have to leave you on your own again, now,” Hanbin told him, looking sincerely apologetic. “My parents expect me for lunch.”

“Of course. I already took up so much of your time,” Hao said. “Thank you again for this.”

“This is nothing to thank me for,” Hanbin said. “Like I said, this is only right.”

Instead of leaving, he kept lingering at the door. Hao raised his eyebrows in question.

“If you don’t mind, I would like to keep you company here whenever I find the time. Maybe. If you’d allow that,” Hanbin said, staring at the ceiling. “I’d like to hear about all those books you read. But only if that's something you’d like as well.”

Hao laughed. “I think I can only speak for my father when I say that he would encourage learning in every way,” he said. “You are welcome to join me here whenever you like.”

Hanbin smiled brightly, bowing his head before leaving him on his own.

A weird mixture of feelings filled Hao’s chest as the silence of the room engulfed him. He had to close his eyes for a moment to clear his head and sort through all the emotions.

When he opened them again, he found himself surprisingly stable. Hanbin had given him such a precious gift. He strode across the room, finally tall enough to reach the top of the bookshelves.

A faint smile grazed his lips. Seemed like today was the day for him to read one of his father’s works.

The next few days Hao was practically swallowed from the face of the earth for hours at a time. At first, he kept his new hideout a secret. It felt intimate, being in his father’s study, and Hao wanted to keep it to himself for a while. He felt like his mother really wouldn’t approve of his new favorite place. 

The only other person who knew about this place was Hanbin, who he had asked to keep quiet as well. 

When Hanbin had first asked to join him in the study, Hao hadn’t thought it would actually happen. Hanbin was a busy noble, with much more important things to do than spend time with Hao discussing books and philosophy. So, the first time Hanbin showed up in the late afternoon, Hao startled quite severely, totally engrossed in an essay that his father had heavily criticized in his notes. 

Hanbin wasn’t just being polite, paying Hao, an old friend, a visit. Quite the opposite. He could never stay for long, but he would sit down on the windowsill and ask Hao about whatever he was reading. Most of the time, they would agree on the matter at hand, but sometimes they came to discussing. Hao wasn’t used to someone taking his opinion into account, but Hanbin wasn’t shy to voice his thoughts and ask for his opinion in return. 

Whenever Hanbin was too busy to join him, Hao felt a hint of disappointment reside in his chest. Sometimes, on these days, his gaze would waver away from the scriptures and to the window. From his spot he had a perfect view to the scholar’s courtyard which connected the noble quarters and the library, a path that Hanbin seemed to frequent whenever he had to work. 

Hanbin would cross the yard, the children being taught currently waving at him. One time, Hao even saw Hanbin help out a little girl who had somehow gotten stuck up a tree. It made his heart warm as he giggled to himself, witnessing the scene. 

However, if he was being honest, he preferred the days Hanbin had time to come see him.

Talking with Hanbin quickly became one of the things Hao looked forward to most. It almost felt like no time had passed at all and they were still children sitting in on his father’s lectures, trying to understand what a moral compass was and why it was important to have one. 

Hao’s fathers focus had mainly been on equality between the poor and the rich and how to evenly distribute goods and wealth in the population. Hao liked that his father had not been only theoretical in his studies, instead debating real problems and trying to find solutions. Through his words it was very clear that his father had had a strong sense about what was right and wrong and that what was wrong needed to be changed.

Many of the other philosophical scriptures Hao had read were not as brave at addressing the injustice occurring in their world and it made Hao proud to know that his father had been fearless. 

 

It was yet another morning where Hao was making his way down to his father’s study when he sensed a looming presence. He turned around, but apart from him, nobody was standing in the hall. He shook his head, proceeding on his way downstairs. He thought he heard another pair of footsteps, but nobody was to be seen. 

He shook his head. Maybe he hadn’t slept well enough.

When he took the key out of his pocket to unlock the door to his father’s office, a voice called for him.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding.”

Hao spun around, hand clutched against his chest where his heart was wildly beating in fear.

It only calmed down slightly when he noticed it was Taerae who had been following him.

“Taerae!” He breathed, eyes wide as he watched his friend approach him. “What are you doing down here?”

After having breakfast, Hao had made sure Taerae was already on his way to rehearsal before making his detour down here.

“You think I wouldn’t notice you disappearing?” Taerae raised one eyebrow. “You haven’t asked to watch rehearsals for over a week. Matthew told me he barely saw you around either and you’ve not been to the library. I’m not stupid.”

In all honesty, Hao hadn’t thought anyone would pay him that much attention. This wasn’t the cottage where he could vanish from the face of the earth for hours and nobody would care.

“I can explain,” he tried, but Taerae had already seen the plague next to the door.

His gaze lingered a while before meeting Hao’s eyes again. His expression was very understanding, eyes kind and soft.

“I should’ve thought of this,” Taerae sighed, closing the distance between them to lay a hand on Hao’s shoulder. “When did you find out about this?”

“I didn’t. Hanbin showed it to me. He gave me the key so I could come here whenever I wanted to,” Hao disclosed, deciding to be honest. Taerae was the closest he got to a friend in years. He hadn’t planned to deceive him about this either way. He just hadn’t known how to bring it up.

Taerae frowned, looking at him in a way that Hao didn’t understand. “Hanbin?”

“Yes. He told me he heard that the office hadn’t been used since my father’s death. And that the key should be mine,” Hao elaborated.

Taerae nodded slowly, but there was something in his eyes that concerned Hao.

“Hao, I think I need to tell you something,” Taerae said, looking at him urgently.

Hao’s throat felt very dry. Had he broken some kind of sacred rule by coming here? Would this mean he would be banished from the castle? Again?

Would Hanbin be in trouble?

“What do you need to tell me?” Hao questioned, unnerved by the sudden shift in mood.

Taerae checked their surroundings, before looking at him very seriously. “Can we go inside? I don’t want anyone to overhear us.”

Hao nodded, although that only made him feel even more uneasy. His fingers were trembling slightly as he unlocked the door. He walked in first and Taerae quickly closed the door behind him once they were both inside.

Taerae didn’t speak for a moment, silently taking in the study. Hao realized that Taerae also must’ve not been in here for years. Nobody had been. This was the office of a dead person. A shiver traveled down Hao’s spine.

Taerae sucked in a deep breath. “We should sit down.”

Hao obeyed his instructions, claiming his father’s leather seat. Without knowing it, Taerae sat down on Hanbin’s usual spot on the windowsill. 

“Taerae, you’re making me nervous. What do you have to tell me?” Hao said once they were both settled.

Taerae bit down on his lips, clearly also nervous. 

“First, I’m sorry. I probably should’ve told you about this sooner. Or asked you at least. But I didn’t know how to bring it up. And I wanted you to feel welcome here. I wanted to be your friend again,” Taerae started, clearly conflicted about what was on his mind.

“I’m sure you meant no harm,” Hao stated, because Taerae had made him feel nothing but welcome at the castle, a place he had not been at home for years. “We are friends. So please, just tell me why you are acting like this.”

Taerae sighed, but seemed to reach a conclusion.

“There is a reason why nobody has touched your father’s office since his death,” Taerae said.

Hao wasn’t sure what to make of that. “Hanbin mentioned it might’ve been out of respect.”

Taerae shook his head. “No. That’s not the reason.”

“What is the reason then?”

“They are afraid,” Taerae replied.

Hao furrowed his brows. What was there to be afraid of in this room? 

“Of my father?”

“No. They are afraid that this office will bring them misfortune,” Taerae said, but Hao was still not understanding. Taerae took a deep breath. “Hao, do you know how your father died?”

The question felt like an icicle had been stabbed through his heart. He thought a lot about his father - but he didn’t like to think of that day.

“They told me it was an accident. He fell from the eastern tower,” Hao muttered, lips trembling at the memory.

His mother telling him his father was dead and that they had to leave. There had been no time for questions. 

“That’s the official story,” Taerae nodded. “But…after you left, there were rumors.”

“Rumors?” Hao repeated soundlessly.

“Rumors that his death might not have been an accident,” Taerae explained. “Do you understand?”

The ice from his heart spread over his entire body. “But my father was well-liked. Why would…?” His voice was barely a whisper at the end.

“They were just rumors. When I was younger, I asked my mother what she thought, but she advised me to never bring it up.”

“My mother also never spoke to me about it,” Hao said, disturbed. “We left the same day we learned about his death.”

He was feeling nauseous. He didn’t want to believe something so horrible had happened to his father. His father had been an honorable man. Nobody would have any reason to do the unspeakable! 

"So you think someone might've...on purpose..."

“It might not be true,” Taerae told him, standing up again to brush over Hao’s arm. "I wasn't sure if I should bring it up in the first place. I haven't really thought about it in years, but with your return to court, a few people started whispering again. I thought you at least deserved to know. Even if it is just court gossip."

Hao had to hold back his tears. “But what if it's not…”

“We might never know.”

No. No, Hao couldn’t live with that. His father, who had fought for justice with his life…he had to try to bring justice to his death. He just had to.

His breathing was getting unsteady. His mind was buzzing, thoughts getting too loud and overwhelming. Memories flooded him all at once, overcoming him like a storm. 

It was hard to breathe. He hadn’t realized how cold he had gotten until he noticed that his entire body was shaking. His heart was beating out of his chest. His surroundings felt so far away all of a sudden. Nothing felt real anymore.

“Hao.” Something reached him through the whirl of white noise in his head. A voice. Taerae. “Hao, please. Calm down. You need to breathe.”

A warm hand was taking his, pressing it firmly. Somehow, the touch was grounding, forcing him back to reality. He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply and holding his breath for a moment. 

Then he exhaled. 

His cheeks felt wet. He quickly wiped the tears off.

If Taerae told the truth, he couldn’t spiral. It was disturbing, but now that he knew…he couldn’t turn back again. He couldn't just unknow what he had heard. Perhaps it was no coincidence that he had returned to the castle. 

He opened his eyes, looking straight at Taerae.

“Taerae, I need to know,” Hao told him, suddenly full of determination. “We need to try and find out the truth.”

“It might be dangerous,” Taerae mentioned.

Hao hadn’t considered that. If the old rumors were true…whoever had hurt his father might still be around. And they would probably not like him digging out old stories.

“Then I have to be careful,” Hao said undeterred, never having felt so strongly about anything before. He looked at Taerae. “Will you help me?”

Taerae returned his gaze. Then he cracked a smile. 

“Where do we start?”

That night, Hao couldn’t sleep. His stay at the castle had taken a completely different direction than he had ever expected. Coldness was still lingering in his chest, present ever since Taerae had told him about the rumors. 

What if that was all it was? A rumor? Wasn’t it silly to dig up a story that was over ten years old?

After all, they had no reason to believe otherwise. A rumor that was over ten years old was not a good starting point to investigate anything. Even Hao knew that. Taerae and him had spent multiple hours thinking about how to go forward, but it felt hopeless. Who could they speak to without raising suspicions? 

Hao’s mother would not talk. He knew that. Taerae was reluctant to speak to his own mother as well, who was a scholar and had been a close colleague of his father back then. That left them with…nobody, really. 

Taerae had said he might try to talk to his father, who was not a scholar but had known Hao’s father as well. According to Taerae, his father was not quite as strict when it came to uncomfortable questions, but then again, it was a ten-year-old rumor. He might not remember anything. 

 

Hao stared at the ceiling for many hours, trying to free his mind of his thoughts, but it didn’t work. His left leg kept bouncing up and down restlessly. As so often when his mind couldn’t find peace, his body screamed at him to move. 

It was late already. The moon and stars long since risen, lighting up the night sky. 

Hao knew he wasn’t supposed to leave his room at night. Omegas in general were discouraged from wandering around alone in the dark. 

Considering the last time he had tried to get some peace of mind by roaming through the night, he had gotten lost within minutes, he knew this was more than a bad idea. 

 

Yet, he found himself out of his sheets, clutching a single candle in his hand. 

It was eerily quiet in hallways, his steps almost feeling comically loud against the marbled floors. 

This time, Hao wasn’t as unprepared. His only wish was to get outside into the scholar’s garden and breathe some fresh air that would hopefully ease his mind a little. 

When he pushed the small gate that led into the garden open, he was surprised to find that it was raining. Shielded by the strong stone walls, he hadn’t even heard the raindrops pattering against the windows. For a second, he hesitated to move. But the thought of returning to bed now felt unbearably suffocating. 

Taking a deep breath in, he stepped into the rain. 

The scholar’s garden wasn’t as big as the royal gardens the castle offered. It was mainly used for gardening and growing vegetables, but this early in the year, no seeds had been planted. The rain turned the earth into sludgy mud. It made a squelching sound as Hao stepped into it.

The rain immediately drenched his hair and robes, pouring down his face and back. It was a weird sensation, freeing and refreshing. 

He took another step forward - but his balance failed him. The rain had turned the ground slippery and like a house of cards Hao collapsed to the ground. 

His back landed fully in the mud, little sprinkles even spraying on his face and hands. His mother would probably strangle him for ruining his robes with dirt, but somehow he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

Resigning to his fate, he simply laid back, letting the mud and rain engulf him. 

In that moment, all the fear and worry that had lingered in him concerning his father seemed to vanish. A sense of tranquility came over him. What happened, had happened. Hao couldn’t change the past, no matter how horrifying it was. 

What was he even doing here?

 

He closed his eyes, letting the rain drown out his too-loud thoughts. 

But there was another sound joining the raindrops. Steps, nearing, closer and closer. 

Oh no. 

He tried to stay still so he wouldn’t be noticed. People would deem him insane would they find him here, simply laying in the mud and getting soaked by the rain! His reputation would never recover from that.

He squeezed his eyes shut. 

The steps got louder, they seemed so close now. Then they stopped. 

“Hao?”

He exhaled. This was all his fault. He shouldn’t have gone out so late. Should he try and make up an excuse? What could even justify his current state? Sleepwalking?

Deciding to simply submit to his fate, he sighed and opened his eyes. 

A pair of concerned eyes met him when he sat up. 

His heart stopped beating. 

Of course, out of all the people to find him, it had to be Sung Hanbin. Again. 

His face warmed up with embarrassment. How should he even explain this? He was sure not even Hanbin would understand what he was doing here - so much for finding a friend in him.

“Are you okay?” Hanbin crouched down to his level. “I saw you fall from my window and came rushing to see if you hurt yourself.”

Oh. Oh?

“I-” Hao’s throat felt dry, despite all the rain he had swallowed. “I just came to take a breath of fresh air.”

“Mhh,” Hanbin hummed with a chuckle. “You can never stay still, can you?”

Hao was perplexed by how nonchalant Hanbin was taking this. 

“I suppose not,” he relented. 

Hanbin stood up straight, reaching his hand out for him. “Let me help you up then.”

Hao wasn’t sure what was happening, but he took Hanbin’s hand. However, both of them underestimated just how slippery the mud was. Instead of pulling Hao up, Hao was pulling Hanbin down, making him stumble and land in the mud right next to him. Hao's eyes widened in horror as he watched Hanbin get drenched with dirt and water.

“I’m so sorry!” Hao immediately apologized when he realized what he had done. 

Here Hanbin was, not calling him outright crazy and even offering him help and Hao literally had to drag him down with him!

“I’m alright,” Hanbin laughed, wiping a streak of mud out of his face. “Actually,” he said, wiggling a little in the mud. Hao gasped in shock when Hanbin laid down, copying Hao's own position. “I can see the appeal now.”

In utter disbelief, Hao watched as Hanbin succumbed to the mud just like he had minutes ago. It was a weird picture, pristine, noble alpha Sung Hanbin, playing in the mud like a child. 

At first Hao thought he was dreaming. But even in his wildest dreams, he wouldn’t have come up with this.

He laid back down, this time next to Hanbin.

The rain had shifted into a soft drizzle, the clouds lifting and giving way to the stars. They sparkled beautifully above them.

“So, what are you really doing out here?” Hanbin asked into the silence. 

Of course, Hanbin wasn’t stupid. Nobody laid down in the mud just because. Even if Hanbin didn't deem him outright crazy, he must be curious why Hao had chosen...such an unconventional way to spend his night.

Hao wasn’t sure what he should answer. He didn’t want to burden Hanbin with his sorrows - they might turn out to be nothing. Yet, with Hanbin laying right next to him, it felt wrong not telling him the truth. 

“I learnt something today,” Hao settled on. “It gave me a lot to think about.”

“What about?” Hanbin pried, voice all soft. 

Hao took a moment to think. 

“I guess I don’t really know what my purpose in all this is yet,” Hao voiced his thoughts. “I don’t really know where I am meant to be. What I am meant to be doing. It’s all just a bit blurry right now.”

Hanbin was silent for a long time. Hao wasn’t sure if he had made any sense to him. 

“I understand that. I think I can relate, not knowing what your purpose is and trying to meet the expectations the world set for you,” he said after a while. He raised his hand, pointing to the sky. “Just look at the stars.”

Hao did as told, gaze drifting back towards the sky. There was a whole universe above them, an unfathomable distance away, thousands of galaxies and planets they would never discover. Just there, right above their heads.

It made him feel so small and unimportant.

“Doesn’t it make you feel so small?” Hanbin asked. For a second, Hao thought he had spoken his thoughts out loud again - but he hadn’t. Hanbin had simply had the exact same thought in the exact same moment. 

“Yes,” he breathed. 

“We think we have all these duties. We need to do this and that and find the purpose we were meant to fulfill. Like there is a path just waiting for us to walk on and we need to exceed those expectations,” Hanbin added thoughtfully. “But looking at the stars I can’t help but think that none of that is important. After all, we make our own legacies.”

The words resonated for a long time in Hao’s mind. 

“Sorry, it’s late and I’m rambling,” Hanbin cleared his throat. "I'm not making much sense, I suppose."

Hao tore his gaze away from the stars to look at him. The moonlight reflected on his pale skin, making him glow mysteriously. Beauty of the night, captured by Sung Hanbin. His heart did a little jump.

He shook his head. What was he thinking?

He sat up. Hanbin followed suit, breaking the moment. 

“We should probably head inside. You’ll catch a cold out here,” Hao told him, clumsily scrambling to his feet. 

Hanbin nodded in agreement, also managing to get back on his feet. Hanbin walked him back over to the scholar’s quarter. They didn’t exchange any more words. Perhaps, they both silently agreed that what had just happened was to be kept secret from now on.

 

When Hao finally made it back to bed after a bath, he wasn’t sure if his mind was more or less at ease. 

Hanbin was…confusing. 

And he still wasn’t sure what he should do about his father after what Taerae had told him. Hanbin, Taerae, his father…everything was one big jumbled mess inside his head. There was only one way out of this. Finding the truth.

 

Unfortunately, the next day did not give him much time to think over his next plan of action.

Tonight, the courting season was officially starting. 

For the first time since coming to the castle, it wasn’t Taerae waking him up in the morning, despite Hao desperately wishing to speak to him again. Instead, his mother bursted into his room. The sun had barely risen when she pulled him out of his bed and pushed him into the bathroom. 

Hao’s overtired mind had hardly processed what had happened, only catching up when he was already sitting in his bathtub. Left alone with nothing but his thoughts again, it all came back to him.

His mother. She had left the castle the same day as he had, but she had been informed about the death of her husband before he had. She had been an adult, not a child like Hao. It was not impossible that she had heard any of the rumors. Hao knew his mother. She was very calculating, she knew her standing. He was certain she knew more than she was ready to admit, but she had always shut him down whenever Hao had asked questions about his father. 

He knew she wouldn’t be any different should he ask now. Unless Hao might confront her directly - but he would save that plan as a last resort. He knew she wouldn’t approve of Hao digging out old stories and Hao didn’t like arguing with her. It would be easier to investigate without her trying to prevent his family research. 

Especially today of all days, he didn’t want to displease her. 

This was, after all, the very reason why she had come back to the castle. To present Hao as an eligible omega for the courting season in the castle. Today it will be official. 

Hao had anxiously dreaded this day.

 

So far, most people had left him alone, barely noticing his presence at the castle. The only alpha regularly talking to him had been Hanbin and after last night…no, Hao still wasn’t sure his mind hadn’t simply made that up. It was best to simply forget about that.

Tonight, he will make an entrance at the official introduction ceremony. His name would be called, together with his status, marking him as an unmated omega in search for a mate. 

The imagination made Hao want to vomit. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to find a mate. He just doubted anyone at the castle would consider him. People would start whispering as soon as they saw him. Hao was not good enough to be here, he didn’t belong in these circles. He was not beautiful, or noble - and while they did come from wealth, he doubted he would be the most well-off omega in the castle. He had nothing to offer and it would be humiliating having to present himself like he didn’t know that. 

He didn’t understand why his mother didn’t see that Hao’s chances of finding a mate were much better in the cottage. And even there, nobody had expressed any interest. 

Insistent knocking threw him out of his thoughts. His mother was urging him to hurry up. 

Hao sighed, sinking underneath the water. 

At least, underneath the surface, the world was quiet. 

What had his life become? Should he just run away?

No. He had a purpose here. Somehow, he believed that. While he didn’t quite know yet what that purpose was, he knew he couldn’t leave until he found out.

 

His mother was already awaiting him in his room. She was leaning over his small desk, studying different papers she had brought. 

It made Hao frown. While his mother was a well-read woman, she was not the type to study. As he stepped closer, he got a glimpse of what she was reading so intently.

They were names and bloodlines of different alphas.

Once she noticed his freshly-washed presence, she turned around to him. 

“Hao, we’ll need to have one last etiquette lesson before tonight,” she instructed him. “Thanks to my connections, I got my hands on a list of all alphas entering the courting season this year. I want you to memorize their names by tonight.”

Hao swallowed nervously as he peaked at his desk again. Seeing all their names was making it much more real. 

“First, we’ll go over tonight’s events again,” she said. “Do you remember what you need to do?”

Hao nodded. His mother had taught him over and over again what would happen at the introduction ceremony. They had even rehearsed his walking.

“We will wait at the door until our names are called. Then we will make our entrance. We’ll greet the King and Queen and wait till they dismiss us.”

That was what Hao was most afraid of. Stepping into that room full of people, everybody looking at him, knowing he had no place there.

“Then we will take a place on the sidelines and wait until everyone else has made their entrance,” his mother continued. “There will be no music and dancing tonight, but you are allowed to have chaperoned conversations.”

Hao didn’t know what he would even talk about with those alphas. He doubted they would find anything he had to say interesting. Hao knew nothing of the world, had seen nothing but the cottage all his life. 

“However,” his mother suddenly said. “We will leave early. You will not talk to anyone.”

Hao snapped his head around. 

“What?” 

Had his mother come to the same realization as he had, namely that Hao was totally unfitting for meddling in these social circles and would only embarrass himself trying to pretend he belonged?

His mother smiled wickedly. “It’ll create a mystery around you. Suspense. At the first ball, we’ll introduce you again, personally. We have to keep them waiting, to let them know you are not easy to have.”

Hao wasn’t even easy to want. He doubted this plan of his mother would work how she wanted it to. However, he didn’t argue. If it meant he would be spared of having to properly introduce himself to a bunch of alphas tonight, he would not complain. 

“You better start memorizing now,” his mother said, nodding towards his desk. “Nothing is more humiliating than forgetting a name you should know. I’ll be back soon, with your gown and hopefully a maid to take care of your appearance. Don’t leave this room.”

Hao smiled and nodded obediently. He exhaled deeply once his mother was gone. 

It wasn’t like he didn't have enough things to worry about - now there was an added anxiety that he would mess up someone’s name by accident. As much as he wanted to forget about all that, he didn’t want to disappoint his mother. He should try, at least for her sake. 

For the moment, there wasn’t anything he could do in his father’s case. He’d get through tonight and maybe tomorrow the world would look different again. 

 

Hao had never taken this long to get ready. He wondered if his mother would insist on this treatment for every ball. It was a very tiring procedure. There were different creams and oils applied to his skin and hair - at one point a maid even applied something on his teeth - it tasted like bitter herbs. When he was finally allowed to get dressed, it was already well past noon. 

His mother had already hung the clothes on his closet, watching the entire procedure with hawk eyes, pointing out whatever remaining flaw she still found on Hao. He had never felt more like a doll in his life. 

His robes were white again, as was traditional for the introductory ceremony, symbolizing an unmated omega’s supposed innocence and purity. The sleeves of his shirt were wide and long, covering his palms up. Hao remembered the fabric from his fitting back at the cottage - it was very light and had little silver details embroidered, making it twinkle underneath the lights.

The only accessory his mother had allowed was a delicate wreath of baby’s breath that adorned his head. Otherwise his appearance was kept plain and simple.

Once dressed he was back in the chair, now all focus on his face to bring out all his features with paints and brushes. He got scolded when he breathed in some of the powder and had to sneeze - so when his mother finally gave her sign of approval he was more than glad. 

When he saw his reflection he hardly recognized himself. It felt wrong to wear clothes like this, too pretty to be worn by someone like him. He had felt weird dressed up at the dinner, but this felt like he was looking at a stranger. He wondered if he would ever feel different. Less like an impostor. 

His mother stepped next to him, giving him a stern look in the mirror. 

“You look perfect,” she told him.

Hao didn’t know what his mother saw in the mirror, but it had to be very different from what Hao was seeing. 

She patted his shoulder. “Wait here, I’ll go get ready myself and then we’ll make our way over.”

Hao managed a small smile for his mother, who looked at him one more time before leaving his room. 

 

Hao sighed once he was alone. Despite not having eaten properly all day, his stomach was feeling nauseous. There was something physically weighing him down as he sat down on his bed, trying not to wrinkle his robes. 

His mother had put all her hopes into Hao attracting a mate here and Hao really didn’t want to disappoint her. He didn’t know why his mother had been so determined to come find him a mate here at the castle. He wished she had told him her reasons. 

In the past, the fact that they had no standing had never seemed to bother her, but maybe he had been wrong about that. She was an ambitious person, maybe it was important for her that Hao gained status by marrying a noble alpha. Although Hao deemed that very unrealistic. Only omegas of exceptional wealth and beauty were chosen by alphas of higher standing than themselves. Hao had neither.

The urge to run overcame him once more. 

It was too late now for that. His mother had put too much into this. Hao could only try his best and live up to her expectations. If he got really lucky, maybe there was a tiny chance someone would court him. 

 

It felt like another eternity had passed until his mother knocked on his door again. Contrarily to him, she was dressed in rather dark and muted colors, as if trying to avoid attracting any attention to herself. It made Hao feel even worse about his own appearance. 

She held her arm out for him and Hao took it. His mother was quiet on their way over to the big ballroom, not even giving Hao any more etiquette lessons on how to behave. Hao appreciated that, he was nervous enough already. 

 

There was already a line of omegas and their chaperones in front of the ballroom. All the eligible alphas must’ve gathered inside, as they were nowhere to be seen. 

Hao spotted Taerae waiting in line, waving at him behind his mother’s back. The familiar face made Hao’s heart calm down a little. His own mother had meanwhile inquired about the system of the line and was informed that they were standing in alphabetical order. When he heard that, Hao would’ve very much liked to cry. They made their way to the very end of the line. With Zhang as his last name, he would be the last one to make his entrance. If Hao had to choose, he would’ve preferred to go in the first quarter, so there would be less people seeing him. 

Now, every alpha and omega would witness his introduction. His mother seemed unperturbed by the news and simply took their place in line. Hao tried to distract his mind from wandering to dangerous places. He ended up observing all the people in front of him.

At least fifty omegas were lining up. It was a sea of white. Some had feathers or pearls decorating their robes, some had their crests stitched into it, showing off their heritage. To his surprise, many of them had red ribbons wrapped around them in a familiar fashion Hao had worn to the welcome dinner. Hao wasn’t sure if that was a common look for the Official Introduction - had his mother mixed up the custom? 

Hao tore his eyes away. His head was getting messy again.

A few meters away from him he spotted Taerae. He wore a dark blue ribbon in his hair, the color of the scholars. Hao wished he had anything like that as well, to give him some sense of security of having a right to be here. But all he could wear was white. There was nothing for him to show off.

His nerves spiked again once the door was opened for the first time and the first omega was called for their introduction. Whispers rose in the hallway and everyone tidied up their appearance. While most of them looked excited, Hao could only feel dread. One after the next, the omegas in front of him were called. He wished it would take longer, he wished his name would be forgotten.

Somewhere in the middle, Taerae’s name was called and he watched his friend walk through the door, disappearing out of his sight. The last familiar thing for Hao to hold on to was gone. 

He began fiddling with his sleeves, but his mother quickly slapped his hands away, afraid he could ruin the delicate fabric. Suddenly, there were only ten people left before him. Then five. Then three. 

Finally, an omega called Yang Jimin was told to make her entrance and she and her chaperone disappeared through the door. 

Then it was only him and his mother left. Hao wanted to vomit. His heart was beating out of his chest. He wondered if one could die from a heart beating too fast. 

The servant at the door turned to them. 

Please. Don’t. 

Of course, his prayer wasn’t heard.

“Zhang Hao, if you’re ready, you may enter,” the servant told them. 

Hao was very much not ready but his mother pulled him forward.

“Remember to keep your head up,” she whispered to him as they made it to the door. “You’re strong. Don’t ever forget that.”

Hao couldn’t really process her last advice when they passed through the door. They stood on top of a long staircase, looking down at the ballroom. 

It was very obvious who was standing where. All the omegas in white were gathered on the left, while the alphas were standing by the windows on the right. In the middle, the King and Queen were seated on their thrones. Hao swallowed. 

The entire room had fallen quiet as he stood on top of the stairs. Everyone was staring. All the attention was on him. 

He felt like fainting. 

Was this normal? 

“We introduce omega Zhang Hao for his first courting season and his chaperone, Zhang Mai.”

He startled slightly as his name was officially announced to the room by a servant. 

It was so quiet, he could hear every single one of his steps. Just as practiced, his mother was walking a step behind him, making him the sole center of attention. Hao would’ve given a lot to hold her arm right now. 

Keep your head up - it shot through his head. You can survive this. 

Carefully, he took one step at a time, hoping he looked at least somewhat graceful as he descended down the stairs. He kept his head straight as he approached the King and Queen. 

Once he stood in front of him, he bowed deeply. 

“You may raise your head again,” the Queen told him. She was smiling when Hao glanced up, which surprised him. “We welcome you to the castle and the courting season. We hereby acknowledge you as an omega eligible to court.” Her eyes twinkled as she leaned down to him. “Best of luck to you, Zhang Hao.”

Hao hadn’t noticed how he had stopped breathing until his name had been spoken. He gasped, air filling his lungs. Quickly, he bowed again, before retreating from the King and Queen. Where it had been eerily quiet before, there was now a storm of whispers as he crossed the hall to join the ranks of the other unmated omegas.

This time, he kept firmly staring at his feet. He didn’t want to know if they were talking about him or even just looking at him. 

He still felt a little faint when he and his mother found their spot at the end of the line again. But he was alive. He had survived. He hadn’t stumbled or fallen down the stairs. It was over. 

The room fell silent again. The Queen had risen to her feet, demanding everyone’s attention. 

“This completes the Official Introduction. I’m happy to have so many alphas and omegas participating in the courting season this year. From now on, you are allowed to get to know each other properly and express an interest in courting. However, to move things along, I’m pleased to announce that the first ball of the season will be held here in exactly one week’s time.”

Everybody was chattering excitedly again. One week, Hao thought. He wished for more time. The first ball, according to his mother, was where the real courting would be happening. 

“Now, we invite you all to spend this lovely evening together. May this be a successful courting season for everyone!”

People started moving around him. Hao had expected at least a little more hesitation before they would mix sides, but everybody except him seemed to be very excited to start mingling.

His mother took his arm. “Follow me.”

She smoothly walked them through the crowd, only stopping when they reached Taerae and his parents.

“Miss Zhang! What a marvelous entrance of your son. Everybody was enthralled by him!” Lady Kim greeted them with a bright smile.

Hao blushed furiously, staring at his feet at the vast overstatement. He had only walked into a room without tripping. He understood that Lady Kim was only being polite. Just like her son, she was blessed with a kind heart. 

“Yes, I was very glad everything went smoothly,” his mother replied in his stead. “Unfortunately, Hao isn’t feeling well, so we have to retreat early. If you could excuse us, in case anyone should ask for him?”

Hao hadn’t known his mother would lie to get them to leave the introduction ceremony early, but he supposed otherwise it would’ve looked really rude. Besides, he was truly feeling queasy, so she wasn’t stretching the truth too far. 

Lady Kim eyed him concerned. Apparently, he also looked the part, because she raised no doubts about this excuse. 

“Of course, I understand. All the nerves can mess with one’s constitution. Please, take Hao to rest. I will explain his absence.”

“Thank you very much,” his mother said with a grateful smile. 

They both bowed before turning around. 

Hao doubted anyone would even notice his absence, but he supposed his mother knew what she was doing. 

“Now, we walk right through the middle of the room and leave. Keep your head up,” she whispered to him, tugging him along by his arm. 

Hao was eager to get away, so he followed her commands without any protest. To their left and right people were whispering, but Hao didn’t listen to their words. They ascended the stairs and the gate was opened for them. 

Last to enter and first to leave. Hao almost laughed. That had to be a record. To think he spent the entire day getting ready for only a few minutes. 

His mother bid him goodbye at her door, telling him he did well. Hao wasn’t sure about that, but if his mother was happy, he wouldn’t argue. 

 

On the way to his room, his stomach growled. Now that it was all over, his hunger was returning to him. His last full meal felt ages ago. 

He hesitated, pressing a hand over his stomach. It would be hours until breakfast. He deserved some food after making it through the Official Introduction. 

Fortunately, befriending Matthew had come with the advantage of effortlessly navigating his way to the kitchens. He doubted any of the servants would still be up to prepare him dinner, but staying at the cottage had taught Hao enough to find his way around a kitchen. He was perfectly able to whip up a small meal for himself. 

Just as expected, he found the kitchen deserted when he made his way down. He quickly lit the room, moving to the stove to start a fire. There were enough ingredients around to make a soup and some rice. After rummaging through a few shelves, Hao found everything he needed and began cutting all the vegetables.

He hadn’t cooked ever since coming here and while cooking wasn’t one of his core strengths, he had enjoyed helping his mother around in the kitchen. It was sort of comforting, doing this again. Hao got so lost in his preparations, he didn’t notice another presence entering the room. 

Well, that was until the person came stumbling in, knocking down an entire shelf of bowls and causing a packet of flour to spill all over his head. 

Hao startled quite badly at the sudden ruckus, jumping in the air.

After the first shock had passed, he properly realized what had happened and just who had literally busted in through the door. 

None other than Sung Hanbin was sitting on the floor, expensive trousers covered in white dust and a silver bowl crookedly sitting on top of his head. He was staring at him wide-eyed, as if he didn’t understand how he had ended up in this very situation. 

Hao couldn’t hold himself back. He started laughing so loudly his stomach hurt. 

Hanbin lost his shocked expression, wiped the flour out of his face and joined his laughter. 

“What an entrance,” Hao giggled, walking over to Hanbin. “Like this you certainly would’ve left an impression at the introduction.” He lifted the bowl from Hanbin’s head, and let his fingers run through his hair to remove the flour. “See, you’re even dressed in white now.”

Hanbin stared up at him, before chuckling in disbelief. He heaved himself off the ground, shaking his entire body to get rid of all the flour. 

Hao hadn’t really seen him at the introduction ceremony earlier, too busy focusing on not making a fool out of himself to really look at the alphas. Images of last night were flashing though his mind, Hanbin underneath the moonlight, soaked in rain. 

Somehow, he didn’t dare to acknowledge that memory - at times, it still felt like a dream to him. Too precious to speak about.

Tonight, Hanbin was wearing dark robes, tailored perfectly to his wide shoulders. Without the little specks of flour still stuck to him, he would’ve looked like he had jumped out of a painting, the epitome of handsomeness.

“That was not what I had planned at all,” Hanbin said, smiling sheepishly.

Hao raised his eyebrows, almost breaking out into laughter again. 

“Really? This isn’t what you had planned?” He teased Hanbin, who fondly rolled his eyes. 

“Honestly, I was just hoping to find something to eat here,” Hanbin disclosed, apparently having come down here for the exact same reason he had.

Only now did Hanbin find the opportunity to peek over Hao’s shoulder, spotting the boiling pot on the stove and the vegetables lying around. 

“You’ve come to the right place then,” Hao said, turning back to his culinary project. “I’m making soup.”

“You can cook?” Hanbin asked curiously.

Hao shrugged. “A little. I watched my mother do it a lot at the cottage. I’m sure I picked up a few things.”

“Did you do a lot of things like that in the cottage?” Hanbin asked him.

Until now, Hao hadn’t talked much about his time away from the castle. People were afraid to bring it up - and honestly, there was nothing much to tell.

“Not really,” Hao admitted honestly, remembering the mundane things of the cottage. “It was very lonely after a while, but I got used to it. We lived near the forest, so I could wander around whenever I wanted to.”

Hanbin smiled fondly. “You always liked that.”

“What about you?” Hao prompted, turning the tables. There had been way too much attention on him tonight, it would be nice to focus on someone else for a change. “What do you like?”

Hanbin stayed silent for a moment, looking at him. Then he turned his head away. 

“I like…dancing,” he answered. “I like the summer, when the lakes are warm enough to swim.”

“Mhh,” Hao hummed, cutting up the last of the vegetables. Suddenly, he was so curious to know all about Hanbin and his life. “What else?”

Hanbin smirked. “I like when you tell me about the stuff you read.”

Hao giggled, putting his knife away for now. “Is that so?”

Hanbin nodded eagerly. “And children. I really like children.”

“Right, I think I saw you once, helping a little girl climb down a tree,” Hao remembered a scene he had spotted from his window once. “So they seem to like you as well.”

Hanbin rubbed his neck sheepishly, biting down on his lips.

Confidently, Hao pushed all the remaining ingredients into the pot, watching it boil all together. Now all that was left was the seasoning. He reached for the soy sauce, generously pouring it in. 

“You want to try it?” Hao asked Hanbin, already looking for a spoon. 

Hanbin’s face lightened up. “I’d love to. Haven’t eaten all day.”

Hao handed him a small spoon and watched as Hanbin carefully took a sip. 

When Hanbin remained quiet, Hao pouted at him. “What?”

“It’s-” Hanbin frowned, searching for words. 

“More soy sauce?” Hao suggested, already reaching for his favorite seasoning but Hanbin quickly stopped him, grabbing his arm. A weird tingle spread from where he was touching him.

“No!” Hanbin said, this time smiling. “It’s already perfect. No more seasoning needed.”

Hao returned his smile. He looked for two bowls, distributing the soup equally for the both of them, before adding some rice. 

“Why are you not at the introduction ceremony anymore?” Hao asked Hanbin, leaning against the wooden counter, waiting for his steaming soup to cool down a little. “I’m sure you could’ve gotten better food there.”

Hanbin was suddenly averting his eyes, stirring his own soup a few times. 

“I left when there wasn’t really anyone I was interested in,” Hanbin muttered after a while. 

Hao furrowed his brows. Wasn’t the whole purpose of this tradition to get to know one another? Was Hanbin not interested in finding a mate at all? 

“Do you not plan on courting anyone this year then?” Hao asked, a question considered blunt to anyone else, but Hanbin was an old acquaintance of his who he knew would not consider him rude. 

Hanbin cleared his throat, still looking at his soup. “No. I have just already decided on whom. I didn’t need the introduction.”

“Oh,” Hao breathed out. His heart felt funny all of a sudden. Maybe because it seemed so easy for Hanbin. He could just pick and choose. Meanwhile Hao could do nothing but hope he could fulfill the expectations of his mother and for someone to look his way. 

“Why did you leave early?” Hanbin suddenly turned the tables, meeting his eyes again.

This time  it was Hao who looked away. “My mother. She had this plan, I don’t really understand, but she wanted me to leave early. Make my personal introductions at the first ball instead,” he explained, feeling a bit timid about the schemes of his mother

He wondered what Hanbin was thinking about Hao’s courting  prospects. Did he think Hao was a fool? To even come here? Was he just too kind to burst that bubble, that fantasy that anyone would even consider looking in his direction?

“To be honest, I was quite glad to leave early. I don’t feel like I really belong there,” Hao shared, surprisingly vulnerable. “I just hope I didn’t look too out of place walking down those stairs.”

“You didn’t,” Hanbin said, voice suddenly a lot firmer. “You looked…you didn’t.”

Hao bit down on his tongue. There were weird tingles happening inside his chest. What had Hanbin wanted to say? What had Hao looked like?

Before he could find the courage to ask, they were interrupted by a noise from outside. 

“We should leave,” Hanbin said, quickly putting all the bowls from his earlier mishap back in place. “It’s late to be roaming the castle on our own.”

Hao nodded. They quickly cleaned up together, grabbing their bowls of soups and leaving the kitchen. Hanbin thanked him once more for the meal when they had to part ways, tipping his head slightly. 

 

Back in his room Hao let out a big breath. Through his blue tinted windows he could make out the half moon in the sky. He placed his bowl of soup on his desk - his mother would kill him should he accidentally spill anything on his white gowns. 

Somehow, it felt ages ago that he put them on in the morning. The reflection in the mirror looked even more mythical to him now that it was moonlight and not sunlight falling through his window. 

His head was spinning as he slowly removed piece after piece of his robes. While time seemed to have stood still at the cottage, a single day at the castle could feel like an entire month had passed. 

Wasn’t it just yesterday that Taerae had found him in his father’s office? And now he was here, wearing clothes way too delicate for him to even touch. He wondered what his father would think if he saw him now. Would he want Hao to probe around in the past? Or would he want him to concentrate on his future instead?

Hao felt torn. The only thing he was sure of right now was that he needed to eat and sleep. So that’s what he would do. Everything else he could break his head about in the morning.

Notes:

Haha, you made it through!! Thanks for reading :D

I suppose we are finally getting the plot going hehe lots of things are happening for Hao in this one...both for his mind and his heart hehe :3
Tell me what you think in the comments!! :)

Hope you all have a wonderful Friday and weekend ahead of you <3

Chapter 5: Poison Ivy

Summary:

poison ivy. symbolizing danger or the need to protect oneself from negative influences or harmful situations

Notes:

helluuuu and welcome back!! :D

content warning: attempted assault? just be a little careful, but nothing too bad happens

hope you enjoy :33

Hao woke up much later than he usually did. His sleep had been plagued by confusing dreams that left him with a headache in the morning. His empty bowl of soup was sitting on his nightstand. Memories of last night flashed through his mind - his walk down those stairs, dozens of pairs of eyes on him, judging. His body shivered. At least it was all over now. 

Hao sat up straight, rubbing over his face. It was weird that he had woken up on his own. Normally, Taerae greeted him with a bright smile and breakfast, always the early riser. 

Considering the whirlwind of last night, Hao very much understood that even Taerae, who unlike Hao had not gotten to leave early, decided to sleep in today. He must’ve left the introduction ceremony much later, probably having to make introductions to every alpha worth his standing for hours on end. Somehow that made him pity his friend a little. 

Maybe today Hao could return the favor and bring breakfast to Taerae for a change. He needed to return his bowl anyway. 

 

When he opened his door, he was surprised to see multiple handkerchiefs wrapped around his doorknob from the outside. He frowned, eyeing them warily. Most of them were embroidered very nicely and they all smelled differently. There had to be at least eight of them, all attached to the small space of his doorknob with intricate knots. 

Hao had no idea where they had come from. How weird. Was this a tradition he had never heard about? But his mother had taught him everything he needed to know about the courting season and its customs. Had someone marked his room for some reason? The doors next to his quarters had no handkerchiefs wrapped to their doors. Strange. 

Hao felt a little uncomfortable with the display, not wanting to stick out, so he quickly removed them and placed them neatly in his desk drawers. 

 

It was much busier in the kitchen than last night. The servants greeted him with friendly but stressed smiles, handing him two plates of assembled fruits without him having to explain much. Equipped with breakfast, Hao made his way over to Taerae’s quarters. 

Hao stopped when he saw that there was one handkerchief also wrapped around Taerae’s doorknob. Maybe he was missing something here. Had it been Taerae who left the handkerchief for him at his door? A secret way of communication? But then why would he put one on his doorknob as well? It didn’t make sense.

He knocked on the door, waiting for an answer. The door swung open a moment later. Taerae looked tired , hair a mess on top of his head. 

“I had to introduce myself to people I’ve known all my life for five hours,” Taerae deadpanned at him. “My own name doesn’t sound real to me anymore.”

Hao giggled, carefully nudging his friend back into his room to sit down on his bed. When Taerae saw that he had brought food, his mood lifted right away and he began gulping down the pieces of pineapple and mango. 

“I’m sorry I left you to fend on your own. My mother had her own plans,” Hao apologized, now feeling a little guilty that he had been excused from the event so easily while Taerae had suffered through it all. 

“Perhaps it was for the best. Especially after your introduction. You probably would’ve never gotten to leave,” Taerae said in between bites. 

Hao furrowed his brows in confusion. Had there been something wrong with his introduction after all? Had people started talking behind his back once he had left? His intestines twisted.

“What do you mean?”

Taerae raised his eyebrows, but before he could answer, the door to his room was pushed open once more. This time it was Matthew, wearing a wicked grin and bearing even more food. 

“Thought you had a long night,” he said. His smile grew even wider as he began waving around something in his unoccupied hand. “Seemed like it was worth it, though.”

Next to him, Taerae fell back into his pillows, groaning. Hao felt very much out of the loop. When Matthew got closer, he recognized that it was the handkerchief that had been wrapped around Taerae’s doorknob earlier that he was holding. So there was something up with that. 

“Don’t despair! I think it actually smells kind of good. Might even be someone decent,” Matthew kept talking, sitting down next to Hao on Taerae’s bed. 

He threw the handkerchief at Taerae, who caught it and brought it to his face. Then he shrugged. 

“I don’t really care for it,” he decided, putting the handkerchief away. “Besides, no one who leaves those can be considered decent.”

“As always, you are very picky,” Matthew sighed, helping himself to a strawberry. 

Hao had followed the exchange silently so far, trying to catch up with its meaning, but he found himself utterly lost. 

“I don’t understand,” he finally said. “What does the handkerchief mean?”

Matthew turned to him with a sly expression. “Why? Did you get one?”

Taerae rolled his eyes. “Don’t be nosy”, he scolded his friend. “It’s something the alphas started a few years ago. If you’re interested in an omega, you scent a handkerchief and wrap it around their doorknob.”

Hao frowned. “My mother never told me about that custom.”

“That’s because it’s relatively new and not really proper,” Taerae explained. 

Matthew wiggled his eyebrows. “It practically means you should invite them into your room for a night.”

Hao blushed furiously. He perfectly understood why his mother had not taught him about that particular tradition. Suddenly, all the handkerchiefs on his doorknob felt terrifying. Surely, someone was making fun of him. 

Matthew laughed at his expression. “What’s wrong? Did you really get one?”

“I got eight of them,” Hao stuttered, absolutely horrified. 

“Eight?!” Taerae jumped to his feet.

Matthew’s chin dropped to the floor. 

Hao was very glad that he had been sensible enough to remove all handkerchiefs as soon as he had seen him. Clearly, someone was trying to embarrass him. Nobody could have actually meant… that.

“Obviously they weren’t being serious,” Hao said right away. “Or they mistook my door.”

Taerae stared at him full of disbelief. Matthew started cackling again. Hao felt very, very lost. 

He hadn’t really done anything wrong yet! Why did people already want to mess with him? He had hoped he could just lay low during the courting season. In his wildest dreams he had hoped a kind alpha would notice him. This…was too much…

“Hao, you don’t seriously think that, right?” Taerae asked him.

“What else am I supposed to think?” Hao asked in return, not finding this funny at all and glaring at Matthew, who was apparently having the time of his life, gasping for air in between his cackling. “Eight people expressing an interest in me? It can only be a misunderstanding, or worse, an attempt to mock me.”

His face was still feeling very hot. He had hoped at least in front of Taerae and Matthew, who he considered his friends at the castle, he could avoid addressing the big elephant in the room. Namely, that an omega like Hao had no place participating in the courting season in the castle. 

Tarae let out a breathless laugh. “Hao, what?! Weren’t you there yesterday? At the Introduction ceremony? Or even the welcome dinner!”

“Of course, I was there. You know I was, we went together to both events,” Hao said with a big pout, not understanding why Taerae was making this so difficult for him. Couldn’t they just let it rest? 

Matthew had calmed down, finally, although his eyes were still gleaming with amusement. “Right, you two have to fill me in on last night. I wasn’t allowed to attend. I need to know all the details.”

Hao couldn’t really provide any details, as he had been the last to enter and had left shortly after. 

Taerae, on the other hand, took a deep breath. 

“It was pretty much the usual. Every omega trying to look their best, some getting more attention than others,” Taerae recounted the night. “Until Hao came in.”

Hao’s heart stopped. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear this. He thought things had gone smoothly. He must’ve messed up something after all. 

“It was like time stood still. Really, everybody was looking at him. And I mean everybody ,” Taerae stressed. “And then the Queen wished him good luck for the season.”

Matthew gave him a sly grin. “Wow, Hao. You must’ve looked great.”

“People did not stop asking about him. When he left early, they only got more curious. Of course, Hao is new here, people would naturally be interested since they don’t know him, but it was far beyond what I had anticipated. It was like he was the only omega anyone would talk about.”

Hao didn’t know what to say. Hearing Taerae talk about the evening like that…it felt like they had attended two completely different events. 

“I–” he said, mouth feeling dry. “That’s…that can’t be true.”

“Please, I’ve actually been there. I had to answer all the questions about your sudden disappearance,” Taerae told him, sounding exasperated. “You seriously don’t know what effect you have on alphas? Don’t you remember the welcome dinner? The entire dining table was busy staring at you.”

Hao’s head was spinning. Taerae had to be lying. Hao had spent most of the welcome dinner staring at his own food, so he had no memory to compare truths, but…that just didn’t sound realistic. Hao wasn’t someone people stared at…at least not in that way. Hao wasn’t beautiful or interesting. He wasn’t desired. 

But why would Taerae lie to him?

“Come on, Hao, you do have a mirror, right? You know what you look like,” Matthew chimed in, the smug smile not vanishing from his face.

“Yes, but I’m not…nobody ever…” Hao muttered, the world not making sense anymore. 

“Hao, you got eight handkerchiefs. Eight! The entire castle is talking about you,” Taerae stated. “I don’t know what kind of alphas live down at your little village, but here at the castle, you are very much sought after.”

That still sounded like a lie to Hao. But it didn’t feel like Taerae, Matthew and him would reach a conclusion they could all agree on right now. 

He decided it would be best to change topics.

“Can we…can we just drop it for now? I want to talk about something else,” Hao said, uncomfortably shifting in his place.

Taerae stared at him a moment longer, still full of disbelief, but then he simply shook his head. 

“Fine,” he sighed, sitting back down to continue his breakfast.

Matthew got up from bed with a frown. “If we’re no longer gossiping, I’m gonna go back to work. But I’ll catch you two later.”

He gave both of them a playful salute before disappearing through the door, leaving the room in an awkward silence. 

 

Hao quietly nibbled on a strawberry. There was already too much buzzing around in his head. In addition, there now was a weird tension hanging in the air between him and Taerae that Hao didn’t like.

To his surprise, Taerae leaned over to pat his shoulder. His expression was kind and gentle. 

“Hey, I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to overwhelm you. Sometimes I forget you’ve never been here for the courting season. I know it must be a lot to process,” Taerae told him.

Hao appreciated his attempt at comfort. It might not change his situation, but it was nice to know that Taerae was trying to relate to him. 

“Thank you,” Hao muttered. “But it’s not just…all the courting stuff. It’s also…everything else.”

Taerae hummed. “You mean what I told you about your father?”

“Yes,” Hao confirmed, chewing on his lip as the same worries clouded his mind. “I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel like I owe it to him to find out the truth.”

“There might not be anything to find out. I know I was the one who told you about the rumor, but it might end up being nothing. I didn’t mean to upset you over this,” Taerae said.

“I hope it is nothing,” Hao said. “But-”

“But you need to know for yourself,” Taerae finished for him, catching Hao’s eyes with a smile. “I said I’d help you. And I will. My mother will be joining a scholar’s conference the next few days, so she won’t be around much. I thought maybe you could join me and my father for dinner? I think he might be more likely to answer some of your questions about your father if she isn’t around.”

Hao hadn’t expected for the opportunity to arise so soon for him to speak to an adult that had been around during his father’s death - one that wasn’t his mother, who simply pretended that his father had never existed if Hao brought him up. 

“He won’t find it strange?” Hao asked, not wanting to impose improperly on the Kim family.

“My father is very compassionate. I think he won’t mind a son asking questions about his late father.” Taerae gave him an encouraging smile. “But only if you want to.”

Hao took a moment to think about it. Was this really something he wanted to meddle in? It could be nothing…or it could be very dangerous. And didn’t he have enough other things to worry about?

But Taerae was right. Hao needed to know the truth. Otherwise he would never find closure.

“Yes, please. If your father won’t mind, I would love to join you two for dinner.”

Hao got one day to himself, which he spent mostly hidden away in his father’s study, reading through his old manuscripts, before his mother was all over him again. 

She was very pleased about Hao’s appearance at the Introduction ceremony and her good mood only seemed to make her more eager for the upcoming first ball of the season. Hao didn’t tell her about the handkerchiefs (there had been three more wrapped around his doorknob this morning). He didn’t think she’d approve of such a scandalous courting custom. Besides, he still wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that whole tradition. No matter how much Taerae and Matthew insisted that Hao had captured the attention of the entire castle, he couldn’t help but think that someone was playing a very cruel prank on him. 

This time around, most of his mother’s etiquette lessons consisted of teaching him the perfect way to introduce himself to all the eligible bachelors in the castle. Hao’s stomach was already churning at the thought of having to go up to so many alphas in person to vie for their favor. It would be humiliating having to face their rejection. At least, his mother as his official chaperone would take over most of the talking, leaving Hao to smile and bow. 

In his head, Hao wondered if he would ever be allowed to talk himself. So far, his mother had been keen to keep him quiet. 

His new ball gown was also being prepared, this time not white, but a light pink with woven in golden details. Hao eyed it with mixed feelings. It did look nice but he always felt so ridiculous wearing these fancy clothes, like a kid playing dress up. 

He had never been to a ball before. He knew there would be dancing and food and lots of conversation. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for all of that. Laying in bed at night, he wondered if anyone would seriously take notice of him. Both his mother and Taerae said that the dances were where you’d really got to know the alphas. 

He knew he wasn’t in a position to pick and choose - but if it was up to him, Hao hoped he could find a mate who he could talk to openly. Someone who was nice and kind, someone who listened and took interest in his thoughts, someone he could just be himself around. When Hao was really honest with himself, he craved to experience love. He knew his mother loved him in her own way, but sometimes Hao wished for more. Someone who would hold him when he was feeling lonely. 

Someone to kiss. 

He traced his lips with his fingers. 

He wondered how that would feel like. 

His chest tingled at his own thoughts, his body burning with yearning. Sometimes, he found himself silly for thinking about such things as kissing - but he had been very lonely for a very long time, left to dream on his own.

A kiss, to him, would be a promise. To never be alone again. 

If he could find someone who would love him forever…yeah, Hao thought, that would be pretty amazing. 

He was back in his father’s study the next day. He had slipped out of his room before his mother could find him again. Fortunately, this room was kept secret from her. Taerae had promised to step in in the afternoon, once his choir rehearsal was over. Until then, it was only him and his father’s words.

There were a lot of unfinished works left in his study, books that Hao had never read before. Most of them were old, apparently abandoned once his father had moved on to his main thesis, but it was interesting nonetheless to see what his father had been interested in. Before dedicating his main work to philosophy, he had been researching flowers and the way the sun influenced their growth. There were even some drawings of roses and poison ivy - paired with ambitious plans on how to manage their growth. It seemed like his father had always dreamed big. 

The more of his father’s works Hao read, the more it felt like he could relate to him. There was an awe behind his words, and a fierce sense of justice in his arguments. Sometimes, Hao could even hear the words in his father’s voice as he read them. 

However, there was also something strange. The deeper he dug, the more apparent it was that something was…missing. The last of his works that had been published were dated two years before his death. 

After that, there were no traces of his father’s writing. At first, Hao hadn’t noticed in between the sheer amount of notes, that there were no documents that had been written even close to his death. Like he had simply stopped writing.

Which Hao knew couldn’t be true. He vividly remembered his father working on scriptures when he had just freshly presented. It seemed downright impossible that there was no physical evidence of his father existing in that time span, when there was so much of it from the previous years. 

It seemed like there were a lot more questions than Hao had ever expected surrounding the person of his father. 

Tonight, he might get some answers to some of them. 

 

As promised, Taerae showed up in the afternoon. He had confirmed with his father that Hao would join them for dinner tonight. According to Taerae, his father had shown no suspicions as to why Hao would eat with them, more than happy to have one more guest at their table. Taerae and him spend the rest of the afternoon trying to find ways on how to carefully breach the subject of his father’s death, without letting Taerae’s father think they were up to something. 

In the end, they found no real solution. It would be best to just see what the evening would bring. 

 

Taerae’s father was a small man - he reminded Hao of a mouse. In looks, Taerae resembled his mother a lot more than his father, only his wide smile and dimples he had inherited from his father.

The Kim residence smelled like hearty soup and freshly baked bread when Hao walked in. When Taerae’s father noticed their arrival, he greeted them with a bright smile.

“Come on in!” He ushered them into the same dining room Hao had eaten in his first night at the castle. 

A maid had already laid the table, this time only for the three of them. She bowed towards Taerae’s father before leaving quietly. They all sat down around the table.

“When Taerae said you’d be joining us, I decided to bake my specialty bread,” Taerae’s father said, pointing towards the fresh loaf of bread placed right in the center. “You must try it!”

Hao lowered his head, flustered. “Thank you, you really didn’t have to go through any trouble for me,” Hao said. “I’m very grateful you let me join you for dinner.”

“No, it was no trouble at all. I enjoy baking,” Taerae’s father told him, distributing the soup into bowls. “I hope you like it.”

Hao accepted his soup, waiting for Taerae and his father to dig in first before tasting it himself. It was rich in flavor, fresh herbs leaving a nice aroma behind. When he took a bite of bread, he found it as soft as a cloud, hardly needing him to chew. 

HIs eyes widened. Hao couldn’t remember the last time he had tasted food so good. 

“This is delicious!” Hao complimented right away. 

The omega beamed at him happily. “Eat a lot then!”

Hao also couldn’t remember the last time he had been told that. Usually, as an omega, he had been told to watch his food intake, his mother’s etiquette lessons about public meals very clear on that. Taerae and his father seemed to have no such qualms about sharing a meal, eating to their heart’s content. 

It made Hao ease up, allowing himself to reach for a second piece of bread. 

“This reminds me of the olden days,” Taerae’s father sighed when he had finished his third bowl of soup, rubbing over his belly. “I used to watch you and Taerae a lot when you were very little.”

“You did?” Hao asked, never having heard that story. 

“Mhh. Whenever your father was busy and your mother needed a break, they’d leave you with me. You were a very quiet baby, so it was always a pleasure,” Taerae’s father answered, nostalgia written all over his feature. 

Hao exchanged a glance with Taerae. He had thought he’d have to somehow breach the topic of his father, but it seemed like a golden opportunity had just arisen on its own.

“Did you know my father well?” Hao asked, careful to sound casual, despite burning with curiosity.

Taerae’s father smiled fondly. “Your father was a very kind man, Hao. I was lucky enough to call him my friend.”

Hao’s heart glowed warmly. It filled him with happiness to hear that memories of his father were precious not only to him but to other people who had known him, too. His mother always avoided talking about him, so getting to hear someone else talk about him was new. Usually, when the rare occasion of him meeting someone who knew his father had occurred, they had referred to him as a great thinker. Taerae’s father speaking of his kindness first instead of his bright mind meant a lot to Hao. 

“Have you read his work?” Hao continued asking. 

Taerae’s father chuckled amused. “I doubt there is anyone in this kingdom who hasn’t read your father’s work. He was a brilliant mind and of great influence in the scholar community. Even if I wasn’t married to a scholar, I’m sure I would’ve heard of his works.”

Slowly, they were getting closer to the questions Hao was actually interested in. 

He hesitated, deciding what to ask next. He surveyed Taerae’s father, but he sensed no possible harm coming from him. Rather the opposite - he felt harmless and sweet. He decided to trust him. 

“Actually,” Hao glanced at Taerae. “I’ve had a look at his old study lately. A lot of his work was still there.”

Taerae’s father looked a little more alerted now. 

“Right. If I remember correctly, they never assigned his office to another scholar. I’m sure it must’ve been left untouched since…”

He didn’t finish his sentence and Hao couldn’t blame him. Talking about the death of a person you liked was never easy - whether it was your father or your friend. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No, my dear, not at all,” Taerae’s father quickly assured him, his features becoming more gentle again. “It’s only natural you’re curious.”

“Do you know why they never gave scholar Zhang’s study away?” Taerae asked, acting convincingly clueless. “I’ve never heard of that.”

Taerae’s father looked thoughtful, remaining silent for a moment. 

“No, it is unusual. I suppose it was out of respect for him,” he murmured. “I guess, there might have also been some superstition. After all, it was a really gruesome accident that led to your father’s passing.”

His face looked a bit paler now. His explanation didn’t sound unlike what Taerae had told him already about the office. As he had been a child at the time, Hao had been spared most of the cruel details of his father’s accident, only knowing that he had fallen down the eastern tower and not survived the aftermath of his severe injuries. Thinking about it always gave him shivers. 

He supposed asking Taerae’s father for more details about the accident would be cruel, even though he did wonder how exactly his father had come to fall. 

“Do you remember what my father was working on before he died? I found a lot of scriptures dated many years ago, but nothing from around that time,” Hao decided to change topics. 

The cheeks of Taerae’s father regained some of their color. He made a curious face. 

“Now that you mention it, I do remember him working on something. At the time, he was very secretive about it. I assumed it was to not get any copycats plagiarizing him before he could publish. He had become a bit more secluded over the years,” Taerae’s father answered. “That’s why I found it even more curious when he asked me to discuss it with him.”

Hao inhaled sharply. “My father discussed his work with you?”

“Your father and my wife would have regular discussions about their work, as all the scholars do. Sometimes I joined, but not often,” Taerae’s father recalled. “But I do remember him specifically asking for me to discuss it.”

“So you know what he had been working on?” Hao inquired, dying with curiosity. 

Taerae’s father sighed, giving him a guilty look. “Unfortunately, we never found the time to talk before he…passed.”

Hao felt like he fell right back to the ground after getting his hopes up. His chest deflated. The mystery around his father’s last project only grew, no answers in sight. 

“But if he had been working on something, where did all his scriptures go? Did he not keep them in his study?” Taerae wondered out loud. 

“I wouldn't know. Perhaps not,” Taerae’s father shrugged. “Or maybe someone else inherited them after his death and took them.”

Hao frowned. Who could’ve possibly inherited his father’s scriptures? As far as he knew, he and his mother were the only people left of his family. And he knew that neither him nor his mother possessed those scriptures. 

“But that’d had to be written down in his will, right?” Taerae asked. 

His father nodded. “I think so, yes.”

They all fell silent. Hao had no clue where his father’s will was or if he had ever even written one. His mother for sure wouldn’t tell him, she avoided anything that had the slightest thing to do with his father’s death. If she had the will, this was just another loose thread they couldn’t follow up on. 

Taerae’s father cleared his throat. 

“So, dessert?” He asked, standing up from the table to walk to the kitchen. 

 

It left Taerae and him alone in the dining room. In contrast to what Hao was feeling, Taerae didn’t seem discouraged in the slightest. Rather the opposite, his eyes gleaming with newfound drive. 

“We should’ve thought about this much sooner,” Taerae whispered, leaning over the table towards him. 

“What? The will? But I don’t know if that even exists,” Hao said defeated. 

“Your father was a scholar. It wouldn’t be unusual for him to have written one,” Taerae claimed. “And if there is one, I even know where they store them here in the castle.”

Hao didn’t allow himself to feel hope just yet. But seeing the confidence in Taerae’s eyes made a little inkling to sprout again. Maybe this was not a dead-end after all. 

“We’ll talk more tomorrow,” Taerae whispered once he saw his father return with the dessert. “I have a plan.”

 

Dessert was just as delicious as the rest of the meal had been. Taerae’s father was a gracious host and Hao found himself enjoying his company regardless of how fruitful the conversation was. It was nice to have company around that wasn’t his mother. Whenever they had shared meals in the cottage, they hadn’t talked much. Even though Hao had liked the peace and quiet of the countryside, the longer he stayed in the castle, the more he realized how much he had missed being around people. 

 

When it was time to leave, Hao felt a little disappointed. Not only because he hadn’t gotten all the answers he wanted, but also because he had felt really comfortable dining with the Kim family. 

Taerae walked him back to the door when his repeated offers to help with the dishes were sternly denied. His friend looked over his shoulder to make sure his father wasn’t paying them attention before turning to him. 

“I’ll be a bit busy because of the ball on Sunday, as probably you will be, too. We have a lot to discuss after then,” Taerae whispered to him, still not making much sense to Hao. “Just trust me. Tonight was not a waste.”

Hao gave him a tightlipped smile, trying his best to mirror Taerae’s optimism, without having the same insight his friend had apparently acquired tonight.

They embraced each other shortly before Hao bid his final goodnight, leaving to sleep in his own room. 

 

However, as it often happened for him, whenever his body started moving, his brain did, too. He went over what Taerae’s father had told him. Admittedly, it was not much new information. His father’s office had been left untouched since his death, which apparently was unusual. He had been working on something before his death, even requesting to speak to Taerae’s father about his work. And yet, there was no trace of said work to be found in his office. 

Had someone really taken it? Had the office not been left untouched after all? 

After all, if Hanbin somehow had gotten access to those keys, couldn’t someone else have, too?

Everything formed a murky cloud in his head. 

 

When Hao reached his door, he hesitated. He wouldn’t be able to sleep like this. Some fresh air would do him good. 

He knew he wasn’t supposed to, especially not alone at night, but in the past, nothing bad had happened. The thought of stirring awake in bed for hours was simply too appalling.

He turned around, heading outside to the scholar’s yard. While you couldn’t see the stars as clearly here as at the cottage, Hao still found comfort in watching them. 

His father had studied the stars as well, back when he had been Hao’s age, before moving on to study more earthly matters. 

Hao took a deep breath of the cold air. Despite spring slowly bringing warmer temperatures, the night was still frosty and refreshing. He went over to a bench, leaning back on his palms to look at the stars.  

He had learned enough about them to point out a few of the easier constellations. The Big Dipper and Orion were sparkling brightly above his head. His eyes were drawn to the brightest star, the north star, glowing lightyears away from him. 

Hao sighed, suddenly feeling increasingly small and unimportant. 

‘Flowers only grow with courage ’ - it shot through his head. His mother had picked that sentence to be engraved on his father’s tombstone. Hao had always found it beautiful, albeit never getting an explanation from his mother why she had chosen those exact words. 

“What flowers were you trying to grow?” Hao mumbled into the night. 

The stars above his head had now answer for him.

As a child, he had always believed people would become stars once they died. The imagination still gave him comfort, although he knew that it wasn’t true. Sometimes, it was just nice to imagine his father looking down at him like he was looking up at the stars, guiding him the right way. If only Hao knew what the right way to go was. These days, everything in his life just felt like a maze, too big for him to navigate on his own. 

Courting season and the mystery about his father were two things that equally made his head ache with worries. He wondered what his purpose in all of this was. 

 

When the wind got too strong to withstand the cold any longer, Hao decided to call it a night. He wouldn’t find answers in the stars either. He hoped that he at least wouldn’t find any new handkerchiefs wrapped around his doorknob at his return. At some point, people had to grow tired of this cruel joke, right?

Maybe he should tell his mother about it after all. She would surely find a way to stop it, even if she had to physically remove Hao’s doorknob herself. 

Hao had made it across the yard, about to head back into the scholar’s quarters, when he was made aware of another presence by a sudden noise. A growl had torn the silence of the night apart, making Hao spin around. 

It was late, too late for it to be appropriate for an omega to wander around on his own. 

Alerted, Hao checked his surroundings. He better make it safe inside, fast. However, before he could do so, someone emerged from the shadows. He was at Hao’s throat faster than Hao could even comprehend. He was backed against a tree, wrists pinned painfully against the bark. 

His heart was beating wildly against his chest as his scream got stuck in his lungs in fear. Panic rose in him as he took in who had just ambushed him.

It was an alpha, a tall one at that, looming over him with a dark glint in his eyes. By the crest stitched on his robes, Hao gathered that he was noble, albeit not recognizing which family-line he belonged to in the darkness. 

His pupils shook in fear when the man leaned closer to his body - Hao could pick up on his scent now, something herb and smokey that made his stomach coil in repulsiveness. 

“What are you doing outside alone at night, omega?” The alpha addressed him with a grin.

Hao needed a moment to swallow and find his voice. 

“Please, let go of me. You’re hurting me,” he spoke, trying to move out of the alpha’s grip without success. “I was just heading to my room.”

The alpha didn’t seem to have any intention to follow Hao’s request. 

“Is this an invitation?” The alpha asked, moving even closer. “I did leave you my handkerchief.”

Taken aback, Hao blinked at the alpha. Then he flushed red as he understood what the alpha had just offered to him. His body twitched uncomfortably. 

“No. No, I don’t-”

“Why not?” The alpha chuckled, letting go of one of Hao’s wrists to cradle his face instead. Hao flinched away, but there was nowhere to go. “We could have some fun. I’ll show you a good time.”

His guts twisted painfully at the touch and he tried to move away. Never before had an alpha touched him like this, had shown interest in him like this. Hao had fantasized about catching the eye of an alpha in his dreams, but this– this just felt wrong . 

“Please, let me go. I’m sorry if I made you misunderstand, but I don’t want this,” Hao said once more.

“I’m sure I can convince you otherwise if you give me a try,” the alpha kept insisting. “You’re unlike any omega I’ve seen before. When I saw you enter the entrance ceremony, I knew I had to have you.”

Hao couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This couldn’t be real. He didn’t want this to be real.  

He tried to push the alpha away with more force this time, but that only resulted in the grip on his wrist getting even tighter. Hao whimpered in pain. 

“Please, let me go. I’m sure you’re confusing me with someone else,” Hao asked again. He really just wanted to leave at this point. 

“I’m pretty sure I would recognize your beauty everywhere,” the alpha grinned smugly. “There must be even more of that underneath all your clothes.”

Hao’s face paled. He suddenly felt nauseous. He gathered all his strength, this time managing to shove the alpha away from him. 

When he tried to run, however, he was grabbed around his waist and forced tightly against a hard chest. A disgusted shiver ran down his back as he felt the alpha’s breath against his neck. 

“Please, let me go!” He said, louder this time. “Don’t touch me!”

The alpha only laughed as Hao struggled to remove his arms. 

A lot of things happened at once then. Before Hao could come up with a plan on how to escape this situation, there was a yelp of pain and he was let go all on his own. He realized only a second later that they weren’t alone anymore. 

Sung Hanbin was standing next to him, shaking his fist. Which he had just used to punch the alpha. 

Which. He had just used. To punch the alpha.

“He said to not touch him,” Hanbin growled, dangerously low. A different kind of shiver traveled down Hao’s spine at the sound of his voice. The strong scent of pinewood overflowed his senses.

The alpha was holding his nose. He tried for an amicable smile when he recognized Hanbin as well. 

“Hanbin-ah, come on, I was just playing around,” he said. “You know how tempting these omegas can be.”

Hanbin’s jaw tensed up. “You should leave now, Seulchoo. Don’t ever touch Hao again.”

The alpha - Seulchoo - glared at Hanbin. There was now blood running down his nose. Because Hanbin had punched him, Hao had to call back to his brain. 

Seulchoo apparently realized that Hanbin was being serious, not attempting to smoothe over the situation again. He sneered, before turning to leave. 

 

Hao only realized how shallow his breathing had been once Seulchoo had fully disappeared into the castle. He exhaled shakily. Relief flooded him so suddenly, his legs felt a little weak. 

He sank down onto a nearby bench. He noticed that his hands were shaking when he lifted them to rub over his face. His brain was still trying to comprehend everything that had just happened. 

A warm presence settled beside him. 

“Hao,” Hanbin’s voice was soft and gentle, so unlike how it had sounded earlier. “Are you okay?”

Hao nodded, before shaking his head. He wasn’t quite sure how he was feeling. Scared, relieved. Confused. 

“That…that never happened before,” Hao muttered, trying to sort out his thoughts. “I’ve never…I didn’t think…”

Of course, his mother had taught him about bad alphas. Alphas who crossed boundaries, who didn’t respect them. But Hao had hardly encountered any alphas in his life. He had always been overlooked. He had never imagined any of them would approach him at all, not to mention in such an inappropriate fashion. 

Why would they? What if…what if this was his fault? Had Hao somehow made him think this was what he wanted?

“The handkerchief,” Hao mumbled, lips trembling. 

“Huh?” Hanbin made a puzzled noise. 

“There were handkerchiefs wrapped around my doorknob. I didn’t take them seriously. What if this misunderstanding was my fault?” Hao voiced out his current whirl of guilty thoughts. 

Hanbin’s voice became fierce again. “Hao, no. That is an entirely inappropriate custom. You were right to ignore them.”

“But if-”

“If there was any misunderstanding, that should’ve been solved the moment you said that you didn’t want him to touch you,” Hanbin stated, with so much conviction, Hao couldn’t find any counterargument. Maybe there simply was none. 

It was true. Hao had said multiple times that he didn’t want this. It was not his fault. His words should’ve been respected. 

“Besides, I know Seulchoo,” Hanbin added with a scoff. “He’s been known to act inappropriately around omegas. Unfortunately, his parents are quite influential, so he gets away with it.”

That…didn’t feel right. But then again, who was Hao to raise his voice? Seulchoo was a noble and Hao was just…Hao. 

His breathing had calmed down by now. He inhaled deeply.

“I…thank you. For stepping in. I was just…he was just there all of a sudden and I didn’t know what to do,” Hao said, turning his head to look at Hanbin. “Thank you for helping me.”

He didn’t want to think about what could’ve happened if Hanbin hadn’t shown up. Would’ve Seulchoo really not listened to him? It was a scary thought. Luckily, Hanbin had been there. Hao felt a lot safer with him near now. 

Hanbin snorted. “That’s nothing to thank me for. I’m sorry that happened to you. It shouldn’t have happened in the first place.”

“Still…you punched him. You said his family is influential. Will you be in trouble?” Hao again couldn’t help but feel guilty. What if Hanbin would face consequences for helping him?

Hanbin didn’t look concerned, giving him a small smile. “Don’t worry about me. I’m sure Seulchoo knows when it’s better to keep quiet.”

Hao nodded. He hoped Hanbin was right about this. 

“Are you feeling better now?” Hanbin inquired further, keeping his gaze resting on him. 

Indeed, Hao felt like he had recovered from the shock by now. 

“Yes. I think I was just overwhelmed for a moment,” he replied. “It’s been a long day.”

He rubbed over his wrists, where a dull ache was pounding against his skin. 

Hanbin’s hands shot forward, only stopping just before touching him. His gaze flickered back up. 

“May I?” He asked, and Hao realized that he was asking for permission to touch him. 

It made his heart flutter a little, that feeling of security only growing. 

He nodded and not a second later, Hanbin was holding his wrists in his hands, inspecting them with a frown. 

They felt a little sore, but Hao was fairly confident that they wouldn’t bruise. 

Hanbin’s gaze hardened as he softly grazed over them with his thumbs. 

“I should’ve punched him harder.”

That statement almost made Hao laugh. If someone would’ve told him ten years ago that little Sung Hanbin would punch anyone he would’ve never believed them.

“I’ll be fine,” he assured him, even managing a smile. 

Hanbin hummed unconvinced, but let go of him. Somehow Hao found himself growing disappointed at the loss of contact. 

He cleared his throat. “I should probably head to bed now. It’s late.”

“Right,” Hanbin nodded, standing up and dusting off his pants. “Can I walk you to your door?”

Normally, Hao would’ve declined, not wanting to impose further onto Hanbin’s time, who he knew was always so busy. Tonight, however, he supposed he was allowed to indulge a little. 

“Please. If it’s no trouble,” he said, biting down on his lip. 

Hanbin smiled sweetly. “None at all.”

Hao got to his feet as well. He felt much calmer with Hanbin by his side. Hanbin held the door open for him once they reached the scholar’s quarters and Hao walked through first with a grateful nod of his head. 

 

They reached Hao’s room in silence. To Hao’s mortification two new handkerchiefs were wrapped around his doorknob. 

Before he could do anything about it, Hanbin had already ripped them off. 

“They should ban all the alphas that leave these during the courting season,” Hanbin said coldly. “It’s disrespectful. If you want to get to know an omega you should make an official offer to court them.”

Hao swallowed. “I didn’t know what they meant until Taerae told me about it. I think most of them aren’t to be taken seriously.”

Hanbin gave him an unreadable look, but Hao also didn’t try too hard to encipher it. He didn’t want to know what Hanbin thought about Hao’s courting prospects. He knew it was ridiculous for him to expect much and he didn’t want Hanbin to think that he was being delusional. 

“I just hope they stop after the ball on Sunday. I mean, that’s when the courting really begins, right?” Hao said, fiddling nervously with his fingers. 

Hanbin gave him an intense look. “Right.”

The air between them had somehow become charged. Hao didn’t know what to do about it. 

He tried a playful smile. “Who would’ve thought Sung Hanbin would ever punch an alpha?”

Hanbin kept looking at him, only making Hao more nervous. He could still smell the pinewood in the air, coming from Hanbin. It had always been a pleasant scent to him, even before associating it with Hanbin. Right now, it was almost suffocating him. 

What was Hanbin thinking? Was he judging Hao after all, knowing he had no place in the courting season?

“Well, thanks for walking me here. I’ll go to bed now,” Hao decided to end their conversation here. “You too sleep well, Hanbin.”

Hanbin’s eyes softened up a little. He returned his smile. “Of course. Sleep well.”

 

When Hao finally fell into his bed a few minutes later, sleep didn’t wait long to find him. Too much had happened today for him not to feel exhausted, both his brain and body craving a well-deserved break. 

Little did he know that this was only the beginning.

Notes:

You've made it!!
We're slowly advancing the plot, huhu what might hao's father have written about?

and are those feeling we are having, hao??? hehehe

let me know what you think!! i was so overwhelmed with joy when i got to read so many comments last time, i really love talking with all of you, you can't imagine how much i appreciate it!! <3

have a lovely day :33

Chapter 6: Violets

Summary:

violets. symbolize honesty, protection, loyalty, devotion, determination

Notes:

Welcome back hehehe this chapter is all about the first ball, hope you enjoy :3

The day of the first ball, Hao wasn’t surprised to find himself being woken up by his mother as soon as the sun had risen. 

She had hardly given him any space the past two days. They had gone over all the alphas eligible this courting season again and again, memorizing their family tree and net worth. Hao had found it quite draining, but his mother insisted he knew all names and faces. It would be an embarrassment should he not remember who he would be speaking to this evening. Or rather, who his mother would be speaking to for him. 

Hao hadn’t told her about the handkerchiefs and the encounter he had with Seulchoo. When his name and picture had come up during their memorizing session, he had found Hanbin’s words true - Seulchoo was of higher nobility, a nephew to the queen's cousin. It was a connection Hao could never rival, no matter how much money they had and how respected his father had been. 

He just hoped he could find a way to steer clear of him this evening. He was sure if he told his mother, she would approve of this decision, but Hao wasn’t keen on explaining what he had done so late at night, wandering the courtyard all alone. He didn’t want to lose the freedom he had at the castle. 

 

By now, Hao was already accustomed to the beauty procedure his mother made him go through before all these events. The bath and the skin care and the hours spent on placing each and every strand of his hair perfectly. Down to the colors of his lips, his mother kept watch over every detail of his appearance. Today his eyelids were colored white and pink, to match with the white accents of his pink robes. Hao’s breath got cut off a little when a maid helped him tie them around his waist, pulling the strings as tight as possible. 

Lastly, his mother stuck a single violet blossom behind his ear, tingling his skin.

This time, when Hao caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he found he resembled a cherub that had grown too big. His mother seemed satisfied enough, carefully patting the nonexistent wrinkles in the fabric before leaving him to himself to get ready in her rooms. 

Hao sighed. These last few hours before the events were always the worst, leaving him time to spiral all on his own. 

 

To his surprise, just as he had found a position on his bed that wouldn’t wrinkles his robes, his door was pushed open. 

With delight Hao noticed it was Taerae and Matthew. He hadn’t really seen them around much, both of them probably equally busy with preparations. 

Quickly, Hao rose to his feet. Taerae let his gaze roam over his attire and Matthew whistled through his teeth. Suddenly Hao felt embarrassed. He knew he looked ridiculous all dressed up. 

“He did it again,” Matthew commented with a grin. 

“Honestly, your mother has to be some kind of fashion genius,” Taerae added, walking closer to inspect Hao’s garments properly. “How come you always look better than all of us?”

Hao choked on air and ended up coughing. Were they making fun of him? No, by now he knew them well enough to understand that they would never be this cruel to him. Sure, they teased each other at times, but they were never mean.

“W-what do you mean?” Hao spluttered, face heating up. 

Taerae and Matthew exchanged a look. 

“He still doesn’t believe us,” Taerae stated exasperated. 

Matthew snorted. “He would just need to spend a few minutes down in the washing rooms with all the servants. He is the hot topic for gossip these days.”

Hao felt nauseous. “People are talking about me?”

This was his worst nightmare. He had feared people would talk behind his back, but having the confirmation was horrifying. 

“They’re making bets about how many alphas are gonna throw themselves at you tonight,” Matthew let him in. “Highest I’ve heard is twenty-seven.”

Hao almost laughed, it sounded so ridiculous.

“Please stop talking nonsense,” he muttered. 

This time, Taerae actually looked frustrated. “We’re not, though! Hao, all eyes are on you this season. Surely, you must notice how many alphas are vying for your attention.”

“Nobody is vying for my attention,” Hao insisted, never having heard something so outrageous before.

Taerae raised his eyebrows. “The handkerchiefs?”

An uneasy feeling spread in Hao’s guts. He looked at his feet, fiddling with his robes nervously, despite how his mother would disapprove. 

“Those are…I don’t like that tradition.”

They must’ve noticed the shift in his voice, because Matthew’s grin was wiped of his face and Taerae’s exasperation turned into concern.

“Did anything happen?” Taerae pried.

Hao looked away. Apart from Hanbin, who had found him that very night, he hadn’t spoken to anyone about the incident with Seulchoo.

“Someone…approached me improperly. After the dinner with your father,” Hao said quietly. “It was a misunderstanding because of the…handkerchief.”

It didn’t seem to need further explanation as both Taerae and Matthew looked appalled on his behalf. 

“Nothing happened,” Hao quickly added to settle them. “Hanbin showed up and diffused the situation.”

It was silent for a moment. 

“So that’s why he’s been so on edge lately,” Matthew breathed out. 

It made Hao snap his head up. He hadn’t heard any news about Hanbin either, only hoping his stunt hadn’t gotten him into trouble. But of course, Matthew, who was regularly attending the Sung family, must know all about him. 

“Hanbin’s just been kind of tense,” Matthew elaborated when he noticed Hao’s curious look. “He just told me something had upset him. Now I know what that something was.”

“Who was it?” Taerae questioned him. “Who was inappropriate with you?”

Hao swallowed, but he supposed it was only right to tell Matthew and Taerae, so they could be careful. As omegas, they had to watch out for each other - and Taerae was part of the courting season as much as he was. 

“Seulchoo.”

“Seulchoo? Yoon Seulchoo?” Taerae’s eyes widened. 

“Wait, is that why he was running around with a bruised nose?” Matthew asked, astounded. 

Hao nodded. The memory of Hanbin punching the alpha was still vivid in his mind.

“Well, he is ugly anyway,” Matthew commented. “Fitting that his personality is rotten, too.”

Hao was a bit shocked to hear him speak so rudely about an alpha of much higher standing than himself. Matthew must really trust him, it seemed - and Hao would never betray that trust and tell on Matthew for badmouthing a noble.

“I knew there are some very traditional alphas living in the castle that don’t really respect us the way we should be respected,” Taerae said with a frown. “I never had an encounter like that, though. I’m really sorry that happened to you, Hao.”

“It’s not your fault,” Hao said. “I just have to be more careful in the future. I know not everybody is like that.”

“Well, tonight you’ll be safe. I doubt with so many chaperones around, he or anyone else will try anything inappropriate,” Taerae soothed him. “And we’ll look out for you, too! Nothing’s gonna happen to you on my watch!”

“Yes,” Matthew agreed. “Besides, Hao will have a lot better options trying to gain his favor anyway.”

There they went again, far overestimating Hao’s prospects. 

“Please don’t say that,” Hao repeated flustered. 

Taerae rolled his eyes. “Well, at least after tonight you’ll have to admit that we are right. Just wait and see. You won’t get a minute to yourself tonight.”

Hao still couldn’t believe what they were saying. He also couldn’t understand why they would lie to him. Seemed like they really just had to wait for what the night would bring. 

“Yes, and this time, I’ll be around, too!” Matthew clapped his hands. “I got a job to attend the buffet - the Sung family didn’t need me tonight.”

Hao was actually kind of glad to hear that. Having one more familiar face around couldn’t hurt. 

“And Hao,” Taerae said all of a sudden. “I think we should have our conversation tomorrow about what we discussed with my father at dinner. Let’s have tea together in the afternoon. In your father’s study.”

Hao’s eyes widened at the sudden change of topic. He was impatient to hear what Taerae had to say after their dinner with his father. His gaze nervously shifted to Matthew, who was giving both of them curious looks. 

“We can trust him,” Taerae caught up to his thoughts. “He’s gonna be vital for my plan.”

“What are you talking about?” Matthew asked, clearly not on the same wavelength as them.

Hao looked at Taerae a moment longer. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Matthew…just…if they were right and there was more to his father’s death…it could be dangerous. The more people they included, the higher the risk. 

Matthew still looked clueless between them. He hesitated. Matthew had always been kind to Hao, even if he hadn’t needed to be. 

“You should come have tea with us tomorrow afternoon. You know where my father’s old study is, right?” Hao extended the invitation, deciding to take this risk. “Please?”

Matthew looked a bit suspicious. “Alright. I’ll come. What is this about, though?”

“We’ll explain tomorrow,” Taerae said, having caught a glimpse of the clock. “It’s a long story. And we all have a ball to be at in thirty minutes.”

“Thirty minutes!” Matthew leaped in the air. “I have to go! See you there!”

Before Taerae could leave too, Hao reached for his wrist. He swallowed, feeling uncertain about his decision.

“Are you sure about this?” Hao asked his friend. 

Taerae gave him a fierce look. “Believe me. I have a plan. And I trust Matthew with my life. So can you.”

Hao nodded. If Taerae was this sure about something, he’d have to trust him. 

“I understand,” he exhaled. Maybe he needed to stop being so anxious about everything. It was just…a lot.

Taerae smiled at him. “It’s gonna be alright.” His smile turned a little wicked. “Let me know who won the bet tomorrow. My guess is eleven.”

Before Hao could reply anything, Taerae had disappeared through the door. 

Hao really didn’t know what to think anymore. 

 

 

A few minutes later his mother showed up, hair now artfully bound up on top of her head and she had changed into a humble dress. 

She smiled at him, but her eyes spoke business. 

“We still have a few more minutes. We want to be a little late today,” she told him, fixing up Hao’s robes once more. “Remember to be polite, don’t talk too much, don’t run off on your own. And don’t challenge anyone. We’ll be fine then.”

Hao had no clue why his mother was telling him that. Hao had never once challenged a person. He didn’t really have the confidence for that, and certainly wouldn't tonight. 

The typical nausea that hit him before these sorts of things had come back by now. He felt dreadful, even more so faced with his mother whose eyes sparkled with wild determination. Hao really didn’t want to disappoint her. She had spent a lot of money and effort getting him to this place. After tonight, she would probably see how futile that attempt was, how much resources she had wasted on him. 

“Mother,” Hao could barely speak, his voice felt so weak. “What if no one will show interest in courting me?”

His mother stopped picking at his robes momentarily. Her gaze wasn’t less stern as she looked up at him, but there suddenly was a hint of vulnerability in them as well.

It was gone in a second.

“They will. If you do as told, they will,” his mother said undeterred. 

Hao thought back to what Taerae and Matthew had kept telling him. What did all these people see that he didn’t? How could they be so sure when nobody had ever expressed any interest in Hao?

“How do you know?” Hao asked quietly.

His mother’s eyes didn’t falter. “I just do.”

Apparently, she wouldn’t give him any further explanation tonight. She stepped a few steps away to inspect him properly. She hummed in approval.

“It’s time,” she said, holding her arm out for Hao to take. 

Hao was glad to have something to hold on to. They didn’t speak the whole way to the ballroom, only bowing to the few people they met in the hallway. Hao doubted he would do much else tonight. 

 

Finally they reached the familiar staircase leading down to the nicely decorated ballroom. Music was playing, a few couples already dancing in the middle. Most of the people were standing along the sidelines, however, engaged in various conversations.

Hao was glad when his mother refused the dancecard one of the servants tried to hand them at the door. He would’ve stumbled all across the room if he even attempted to dance right now. 

“Stop staring at your feet,” his mother hissed between her teeth as they descended down the stairs.

It had been a subconscious decision, keeping his eyes on the ground instead of facing the crowd. Quickly, Hao followed his mother’s instructions and regretted it immediately. 

Why were so many people staring at him? He forgot how to breathe.

He almost tumbled down the last step but his mother forcefully kept him upright. Hao felt heat shot up his cheeks. Why would anyone be interested in him if he couldn’t even walk right?

He wanted to apologize to his mother and curl up in a corner - but he didn’t get the chance to. 

Before one word could leave his lips, someone had already approached him. 

It was a noble alpha Hao recognized from his continuous study lessons with his mother, Lord Choi Minseo. 

“Miss Zhang, I apologize for my sudden intrusion but I noticed Zhang Hao’s weak constitution upon entering. May I offer him a glass of water?” The alpha asked, standing tall and upright, a glass of water outstretched toward his mother. 

Hao’s head was buzzing. Did he look sick? Had his stumbling been that obvious?

His mother didn’t seem surprised at all, smiling charmingly. 

“Lord Choi, you are not intruding in the slightest. We thank you for your kindness, you are very attentive. Of course, you may offer my son a beverage, he is a little weak on his feet.”

Very flustered by this turn of events, Hao lowered his head and bowed, awkwardly accepting the cold glass of water. He took a careful sip, not wanting to seem impolite even though he wasn’t thirsty at all. 

“I’m happy to see you attending the ball tonight. Everyone was rather worried after you left the introduction ceremony so quickly,” Lord Choi said. “I was very disappointed I couldn’t properly introduce myself to Zhang Hao.”

“Yes, it was truly disappointing we had to leave first. We would be very delighted to exchange proper introductions tonight,” his mother said, as if it hadn’t been her plan all along. 

“I’ll introduce myself formally, then. I’m Choi Minseo, son of Lord Choi Minhyuck and grandson of Choi Minhee, who married into the royal family five decades ago. We still serve the royal family in overseeing many of the administrative tasks. It would be my honor to meet your son.”

It was all information Hao already knew and yet it was strange hearing it from Lord Choi himself. 

For the first time it dawned on him that perhaps, Taerae and Matthew had not been exaggerating. There was an alpha who had noticed him right in front of him, expressing an interest. The first one ever doing so in a proper way. Hao felt like the world wasn’t real anymore. It was as if gravity had stopped existing, so far-fetched had this seemed to him. 

But it was real. Lord Choi was standing right in front of him. 

“As his chaperone, let me introduce my son. Zhang Hao is a descendant of Zhang Xiao, the great merchant and traveler who brought great fortune and prosperity to our lands. He grew up at the castle until we had to relocate to a cottage in a nearby village. He was trained in various different skills, such as reading, writing and housekeeping. We’ve now returned to the castle to find him a suitable mate,” his mother took care of his introduction, which Hao had actually never heard before. 

It was greatly embarrassing to have himself talked about like this, like he was a product to be marketed. There was nothing truly impressive about their lineage, nothing connecting them to the royal family. Hao realized with a frown that his mother hadn’t even mentioned his father, who had been one of the most influential scholars of their time. 

“It is my pleasure,” Lord Choi replied with a smile, gaze not leaving Hao.

He shifted uncomfortably on his feet. Lord Choi wasn’t an unattractive man, his faint scent of mint and summer breeze quite pleasant. Hao knew he couldn’t be picky about these things anyway, but something inside him protested at the sheer imagination of a future with him. Something didn’t fit right. Maybe it wasn’t fair or reasonable of him to come to such a judgement so quickly. 

After all, Lord Choi seemed kind. Hao should be glad an alpha had even approached him in the first place. It was a little relieving, knowing his mother’s effort hadn’t been totally wasted. Lord Choi was now an option. And he was a good one, Hao told himself. A future with him wouldn’t be so bad. 

“I’m sorry for being forward again, but it would be a joy to have a dance with Hao,” Lord Choi said, nodding his head towards the dancefloor that had filled a little more by now. “If I may ask your permission?”

Hao was sure that his mother would agree, despite Hao not having a dancecard. After all, Lord Choi was a noble alpha, he had good standing and he had shown his interest - all things his mother had wanted. Hao was sure she would be happy if this worked out and would do her best to make sure it would. 

That’s why he was shocked when his mother refused the dance on his behalf. 

“I’m afraid I have to decline your kind offer. We thought it would be only polite to introduce Hao to everyone properly tonight and we have many more people to greet. However, I would encourage you to ask again at the next ball. I will grant you my permission then.”

Hao wasn’t sure what his mother was doing. What if she had angered the only alpha that had shown interest in him by rejecting him? What if she had just gotten rid of his only prospect by doing that? Was this one of her schemes again?

Luckily, Lord Choi did not seem too upset, if a little disappointed. “I understand, Miss Zhang, you have to follow customs. We will meet each other again at the next ball, then.”

He tipped his head in farewell before going back to mingling with other people. 

Hao’s heart was pounding. Had that been a mistake?

His mother did not seem to share any of his worries, leisurely strolling through the hall. Hao wanted to ask her what she was planning, but again, he didn’t get a chance. 

They had hardly made it halfway through the ballroom when someone else stepped into their way. Hao clutched his water glass tightly when another alpha introduced himself. 

It was another noble alpha, again expressing his concern about Hao’s early departure at the Official Introduction before beginning to introduce himself, explaining his heritage and character to them. 

Hao still hadn’t recovered from Lord Choi, when his mother again denied the alpha the opportunity for a dance. 

They moved on and if Hao hadn’t already memorized all the names of the alphas of the season, he wouldn’t have even remembered his name. 

His mind was spiraling. Now there were two. 

He had lost his words at this point. Surely, he had fallen asleep and his mind was making up a very colorful dream. This couldn’t be real. Two alphas! That had to be it.

 

It didn’t remain two. 

Perhaps his mother had been right in not letting him speak tonight. After two more alphas had sought them out, he was too confused to even form a proper thought. 

Certainly, after four alphas, his mother would be satisfied. Maybe they would leave early again, he hoped - but his mother had very different plans. 

“They’ve been breaking proper protocol, approaching us first,” his mother told him, clicking her tongue in disapproval. “Usually, a chaperone introduces their omega.”

So, that’s what she continued to do. 

Hao found it far more embarrassing approaching someone else than having someone approach him. It was already odd enough that four people had seen past the fact that he had no real place at the castle - why his mother insisted on introducing him to even more people was a mystery to him. Mostly, because Hao still didn’t know why anyone would desire him. His heart was pounding against his chest with every further alpha they approached.

It were some of the worst hours of Hao's life, leaving him constantly on edge, adrenaline pumping through his veins as if preparing him to flee this event any second now.

He doubted everything about himself and he didn't understand why his mother didn't. He couldn't fathom what people could even see in him.

It made him kind of afraid, people would scoff or laugh at him for even daring to approach them. 

None of those fears came true, despite Hao never having felt so utterly humiliated in his life. 

Not even one of the alphas his mother introduced him to seemed insulted by his presence. Hao even had the feeling that some of them were waiting for their turn, stealing glances from across the room. But surely his mind was playing tricks on him now. 

Slowly, his feet were starting to hurt from standing for so long. In hindsight, it had been a true luxury leaving the introduction ceremony early. These courting events could be physically exhausting - beside the mental turmoil they caused him.

 

When his mother decided to take a short break, he let out a relieved sigh. He and his feet needed some time to process everything. They found a pair of chairs near the buffet and sat down. 

His mother looked like she was doing some mental calculations, keeping track of who she definitely wanted to talk to tonight. Hao hoped there wouldn’t be many people left. The embarrassment he felt didn’t leave with time, only growing stronger the more people they approached. 

When she rose to her feet again Hao almost whined, feet still throbbing. 

“Hao, I’ll leave for the bathroom. Stay here and don’t talk to any alpha on your own,” she told him and Hao was so glad to have a few more minutes to recover, he didn’t even mind being left on his own.

He closed his eyes. He wished he could truly be alone for a moment. His feelings were a mess. He wondered how his life had turned out like this. What had changed for people to suddenly pay attention to him? Hao wasn’t used to being viewed by others in such a way. That it was happening on such a scale was overwhelming. 

He spotted Matthew across the buffet table, refilling some of the champagne flutes. As if sensing his gaze, Matthew turned his head in his direction. He sent him a cheeky wink, apparently very aware of how Hao had spent his evening so far. 

Hao looked away, feeling incredibly flustered again. 

 

His mother returned way too fast, having no mercy on him and his feet. Soon they were back to making their rounds, Hao growing increasingly embarrassed again by her boldness. In comparison to all those noble alphas listing their impressive connections, his own introduction seemed very lacking. It bugged him even more that his mother didn't mention his father, who was the only thing remarkable in their lineage - but it wasn’t like he could get his mouth to open to say something himself. 

The night was slowing down a little now. Most people had left the dancefloor and the music had shifted to calmer melodies. Hao hoped this would mean that they would leave soon as well. He had endured enough embarrassment for one night. 

Or so he thought, because when he realized who his mother was approaching next, he reached whole new levels of embarrassment. 

Sung Hanbin was standing with his back to them, conversing with another alpha in a guard uniform.

Hao felt his face flush. Something about going to Hanbin and introducing himself as an omega available for courting made him horribly flustered. Probably because he knew Hanbin since they had been younger and considered him a friend. Would Hanbin laugh at the idea of courting Hao? Would he be upset?

Hao really didn’t want to do this, but he knew there was no stopping his mother. 

She cleared her throat loudly and patted Hanbin on his shoulder, who spun around right away. 

He looked a bit surprised when he saw his mother standing in front of him, before looking at Hao and then smiling softly. 

“Lady Zhang,” he bowed his head respectfully, unlike many of the other alphas of higher standing. “What an honor to meet you again.”

“Lord Sung,” his mother bowed back. “The honor is all mine.”

Hanbin continued to smile, pointing to the guard beside him. “I’m sorry, let me introduce you to my guard. This is Kim Jiwoong. He’s been looking out for my family.”

“Lady Zhang,” Kim Jiwoong lowered his head.

The first thing Hao noticed was how handsome Jiwoong was. He remembered having spotted him around the Sung family before. Being a guard made him unavailable to attend the noble courting season, however, which explained his mother’s lack of interest in him.

She smiled politely, although her attention remained on Hanbin. 

The guard seemed to pick up on it, smiling in amusement. “I’ll excuse myself, then. I’ll see you later, Hanbin.”

Hao realized that he didn’t address Hanbin with his title, a sense of familiarity between the two alphas. It seemed that just like Matthew, Jiwoong was also treated nicely by the Sung family despite being of lower standing.

“Lord Sung, I didn’t have the opportunity to introduce my son Zhang Hao to you properly at the introduction ceremony. I hope you can forgive me,” his mother started their usual conversation. 

Hao felt heat flush his face. Hanbin was still smiling, nodding along to show he was listening attentively. 

“Of course. After all, I remember your son quite vividly,” Hanbin said, eyes meeting Hao’s with a cheeky twinkle. 

He hadn’t told his mother about all the times he had met Hanbin in the castle since their return. Technically, it wasn’t forbidden to meet an alpha outside of courting season on his own, but some people still frowned upon it.

“Well, it is still only polite to reintroduce him,” his mother insisted, before recounting her usual description of him. 

Hao felt incredibly embarrassed, because he knew Hanbin would never consider him as an omega to court. Hadn’t he once told him he had already set his eyes on someone?

Surely, an alpha as good as Hanbin could choose whatever omega he fancied - not whatever Hao was. Something ached in his chest at the thought. 

When his mother was done, Hao was too shy to look at Hanbin. Usually, this was when the alpha introduced himself and explained all about his bloodline.

“Thank you,” Hanbin said gently. “I’m very delighted to see both of you return to the castle. Your son has been a great friend to me in the past and it would be an honor to reconnect.”

His mother waited, but when the typical spiel about family heritage didn’t follow, she just nodded. 

“Well, Lord Sung, it’s late already. We don’t want to keep you up and we have to leave to rest now,” his mother continued. 

“Of course,” Hanbin said, smiling at Hao. “Have a good night.”

Hao blushed, deciding to stare at his feet again. 

At least, they could leave now. 

“Hao, I’ll go find Lady Kim, I have to speak to her before we leave. Wait here for me. Again, don’t walk off on your own. Don’t talk to any alpha on your own!” She warned him once more and Hao nodded in resignation. 

 

He would survive the last few minutes. He couldn’t wait to fall in bed, although he doubted he would find sleep. His legs, despite being exhausted, felt restless. Tomorrow, he will go on a long walk to sort his thoughts. 

“Hao?” Hanbin still stood close to him, walking over to where he had been left by his mother.

Despite her clear instructions, Hao turned around. After all, he knew Hanbin, had spoken to him on his own multiple times. Hanbin was not like any other alpha. He was safe. 

“How are you feeling? I haven’t seen you since that night,” Hanbin asked him, a little crease on his forehead. 

His heart beat a little faster - had Hanbin really worried about him?

“I’m fine. Nothing has happened since,” Hao told him, still feeling the heat lingering on his cheeks. “Thank you again for helping me.”

“I’m glad you’re doing fine,” Hanbin said, eyes all soft on him. “I wish I could’ve done more.”

“No!” Hao spluttered. “No, you’ve done more than enough. How are you? Did you get into trouble because of me?”

Hanbin frowned. “No, I’m fine. I told you not to worry about that. I know how to handle myself.”

Hao nodded. Hanbin sounded a little tense. Hao hadn’t meant to insinuate that Hanbin didn’t know how to deal with things. He just…Hao wasn’t worth getting into trouble for. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, the wall of embarrassment flushing over him again. “And I’m sorry for earlier.”

Hanbin’s frown deepened. “What do you mean?”

Hao had never felt so flustered. 

“My mother. I mean, introducing me. I know you don’t see me that way. I know I’m not really desirable as an omega. And you’ve known me since I was a child. It must be weird. I hope that didn’t upset you,” he somehow pressed out between his lips. 

Hanbin had always smelled nice. Like pinewood and the forest grounds. The scent suddenly got a lot more intense - similar to the way it had a few nights ago, when Hanbin had saved him from Seulchoo. 

“Hao, look at me,” Hanbin said, voice now a few tones deeper.

Hao noticed he’d done it again and stared at his feet. Quickly, he lifted his gaze, meeting Hanbin’s eyes that were whirling with emotion. Hanbin’s eyes were really pretty.

“I’m an alpha,” Hanbin said suddenly. “I know we’ve known each other as children. But I’m not a child anymore. I’m an alpha. So see me as one. Because I very much see you as an omega.”

Hao swallowed, throat feeling unbearably dry. He was a bit taken aback by the sudden declaration. He blinked.

Hanbin was still looking at him intensely. Hao inhaled sharply, the scent of pinewood even more prominent now and so distinctively alpha, Hanbin hadn’t even needed to tell anyone he was one.

At that moment, Hao couldn’t remember the fumbling child that used to follow him around so many years ago. The only thing he saw was Hanbin, an alpha, right in front of him. 

Something was glowing in his chest. It stole his breath away. 

Before Hao could make up any reply, Hanbin had torn his eyes away and walked off. Hao kept watching him until he disappeared in the crowd.

What…?

 

“Hao!” His mother called out for him, grabbing his arm. “Come on, we’re leaving now. It’s way too late.”

Hao let himself be dragged to the stairs and back to his room.

This entire night felt like a fever dream. When he finally fell into bed, he wondered if any of this would still have happened once he woke up. 

Well, there was only one way to find out.

He closed his eyes.

Notes:

Thanks for reading!!

Hehe, is that Hanbin finally doing some moves here?? Kkrrkkrek
Anyway, I know not much plot happening in this one...but let me know what you think!! :D

Have a wonderful day <3

Chapter 7: Primroses

Summary:

primroses. represents youth, protection, first love, sweetness

Notes:

hihihihi welcome back!! enjoyyyy :3

Hao’s head was buzzing when he awoke the next morning. Contrary to what he had expected, he had fallen asleep as soon as he had wrapped himself in his blankets. Last night had exhausted him mentally, physically and emotionally. 

Images of the ball flashed through his mind as soon as he opened his eyes. For a moment he wanted to believe it had all just been a very vivid dream, but when he stood up and saw his reflection in the mirror he knew that it had all been real. There were still traces of color on his lips and eyelids that he had failed to wash off properly yesterday. Proof that he had really gone to the ball.

His face heated up and he splashed some water against his cheeks, determined to cool off and remove the last hints of paint from his skin. 

He still couldn’t really wrap his head around it. It just didn’t make sense to him. All his life, nobody had shown even the slightest interest in a courtship with him. He had not been looked at ever - and now, all of a sudden, there were several alphas paying him special attention? Four who had approached him first despite proper courting customs and many more who had looked intrigued by the prospect of getting to know him better at the next ball. 

All their faces mushed together in his memory. If he was being honest, none of them stood out to him, all their introductions sounding the same to him. After the first three, everything became one big blur, none of them really making his heart skip a beat.

None except -

His face flushed bright red as he remembered. 

He needed to get some fresh air. He doubted Taerae would wake him up for breakfast this morning, probably sleeping in late today, so Hao reached for his overcoat and headed straight out to the courtyard. 

 

The sun had long since risen and a few shy sunrays were slowly warming up the fresh morning air. It was still cold so early in the day but Hao reveled in the breeze. He allowed himself a few deep breaths before walking on. 

Spring had fully come by now. More and more flowers broke through the frozen earth, blooming towards the sunlight. The snow had already melted weeks ago, but temperatures had recently dropped again. Now, it seemed, winter had vanished, making room for warmer weather. 

Hao was always happy to see spring come. Usually, he didn’t like being cold, and he was prone to freeze easily. 

He decided to take the path through the rose garden, letting his thoughts roam as free as his feet. 

Eventually, they all came back to Sung Hanbin. 

A shiver rushed down his spine. He recounted their last conversation, the fierce look in Hanbin’s eyes, the intensity of his scent. 

Hanbin and him had shared many conversations since his return to the castle, discussing philosophy in his father’s study - but none of them had ever left Hao quite as confused. 

Hanbin had told him to see him as an alpha. 

What did that mean? 

Since he had known Hanbin since his childhood and felt so comfortable around him even now, Hao hadn’t thought much about the fact that Hanbin was indeed an alpha. They came from different worlds, Hao had never considered he would even have a chance to capture Hanbin’s attention as an omega. They were friends, old acquaintances. Nothing more.  

So why was Hanbin telling him he was an alpha? It was such an absurd statement to make. Just what could’ve been his intentions?

Did he not like the way Hao treated him after all? He was still a noble and Hao had disregarded some of the proper etiquette whenever they had spoken lately. But Hanbin had never seemed to be the type to care about such trivial things. He had heard Matthew speak to Hanbin far more casually before - and even his guard, Jiwoong, seemed relaxed around him. 

So what was bothering  Hanbin about Hao’s behavior? Had he crossed a line last night that he hadn’t seen? Had his mother forcing her courting agenda on Hanbin made him uncomfortable? 

There were so many questions that Hao had no answer to. 

And then there was that other thing as well: His heart kept racing whenever he thought of Hanbin. 

If he was being really honest, his heart had been beating faster for a while now. So far, he had ignored it, because Hanbin was out of reach for him and he valued his friendship regardless of any other unforeseen feelings.

It was no secret that Hanbin was a sought-after alpha. He was of high-standing, enjoyed a stellar reputation and was of great character. Hao himself had been privy to witness just how kind Hanbin was. It was only natural that he had developed fondness for him. Everyone would because of how gentle Hanbin was treating the people around him.

Maybe Hao was simply confusing his feelings with gratitude towards the alpha for treating Hao so nicely. But he had felt gratitude towards other people before and it had never felt so…thrilling before? Like there was a constant tingle underneath his skin, like his breath kept getting stuck and his heartbeat continued to speed up. Even in his recent dream, Hanbin had been there.

It was all very new to Hao. It scared him a little that he didn’t know what was happening to him. 

His feet stopped. 

Back at the cottage, he would’ve reached his father’s grave by now. That was his usual destination, but of course, he couldn’t go there now. Instead, he had ended up in front of a bush of what would be primroses once summer came. It would probably be really beautiful then.

Now the bush laid bare, branches and ranks yet to be cut into proper shape. Hao felt his mind was in a similar state. Someone needed to come with a big pair of scissors and clean up the mess in his head.

Unfortunately, there were no such things as mind cutters. His father would probably say that was for the best, his mantra had always been that people needed to think more and not less. Hao wondered what he would’ve said had he witnessed Hao’s particular case of overthinking. Maybe even he would’ve made an exception then. 

Now that his mind had drifted towards his father, Hao was reminded of his meeting with Taerae and Matthew in the afternoon. Judging by the position of the sun, noon would be over soon. He should probably get going if he wanted to sort out his thoughts a little before then. 

Of course, that didn’t work the way Hao had hoped. Usually, once he was in his father’s study, embraced by nothing but silence and knowledge, he was able to focus very well. Today, there was simply too much on his mind for it not to implode. 

He tried to distract himself with a few of his father’s old scriptures, by now having made it through most of them. It only reminded him of the fact that there was probably a lot of his work missing, somewhere lost or forgotten. 

Hao carefully turned a page about extraditing the venom out of poisonous plants when there was a soft knock on the door. 

When he looked up, both Taerae and Matthew entered, Hao not having locked the door since he had expected their company. Matthew was balancing a tray of tea in his left hand, skillfully placing it on an unoccupied space on the desk as Hao hurried to clean it up a little. 

“Thank you,” Hao said, taking over pouring the tea into the three separate cups as Matthew and Taerae sat down on the windowsill. Hao turned the desk chair around so they could all look at each other. “I’m sorry, I should’ve taken care of the tea. I completely forgot.”

Matthew shrugged nonchalantly as he took a slurping sip of his cup. 

“Forget it, I always have some tea on hand,” Matthew told him after smacking his lips. He wiggled his eyebrows. “Besides, I know you’ve had a busy night. I guessed your mind must’ve been elsewhere.”

Hao flushed red, hiding his face behind his own cup as he took a careful sip. 

Taerae groaned. “Come on, Hao, by now even you have to understand how popular you are this season.”

Hao placed his cup down in his lap. “I…I don’t,” he muttered, seeing Taerae and Matthew roll their eyes. “I mean, I don’t understand. I can see now that you were not lying. I just…don’t understand it.”

Taerae and Matthew exchanged a look of disbelief. 

“If I didn’t know you, I’d think you were stupid,” Taerae huffed, leaning against the window. “But I know you’re not. So what is it you don’t understand?”

Hao frowned, all his recent emotions bubbling up to the surface. “Can’t you see? I have not been here for the past ten years! I have lived on my own with my mother after we were forced out of this castle. Nobody has ever paid attention to me. And now everybody is? Can’t you see how that can be confusing?”

Hao hadn’t known how frustrated he had felt by this, but now that he had gotten it off his chest he was actually quite relieved. His world had turned upside down ever since his arrival at the castle and hardly anybody had tried to explain things to him. He was tired of figuring everything out by himself.

“Hao,” Taerae said, voice a lot softer now, He reached out his hand, placing it on his shoulder and patting him comfortingly. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I always forget that you were gone for so long. It’s just-”

“You’re beautiful,” Matthew blurted out, making both Taerae and Hao look at him. Matthew only shrugged at them. “I mean, that’s what it is. You’re beautiful. That’s why everyone is looking at you.”

“I’m not beautiful,” Hao protested straight away. He vividly remembered the tailor coming to their home, looking at him in disapproval, telling him he was too tall and that he walked weirdly. Besides, there were many other objectively more beautiful people here in the castle that participated in the courting season. 

Taerae huffed out a laugh. “You are! It’s crazy that you don’t know,” he said. “And your mother has a good sense of style. She keeps dressing you up in ways that make you look even more mesmerizing. Haven’t you noticed people trying to emulate your looks?” “

“Plus, there is the fact that your scent resembles roses, which most people find generally attractive,” Matthew jumped in again. “And you’re new here, it creates mystery, you know, everybody wants to know who the new omega is.”

Hao had sought an explanation for all this but this one felt so far-fetched. Yet, he couldn’t come up with a better one himself. 

It baffled him. Could this really be the truth? 

“I just…I…” he stuttered, lost for words as he tried to come to terms with what Matthe and Taerae had been telling him all along.

“You’re overwhelmed. I get it now,” Taerae said kindly. “But we’re not lying to you.”

“And neither are all those alphas,” Matthew chimed in with a cheeky grin. 

Alphas. Hanbin. It shot through Hao’s mind. Who else could he ask about this?

He wrinkled his forehead. 

“What does it mean when an alpha tells you to see him as an alpha?” He questioned out loud. 

Matthew laughed giddily, clapping in his hands. “Goodness! Who said that?”

Taerae gave him a scolding look. He stayed a lot calmer, although also seeming a bit amused. 

“I can only guess, but I think it would mean that he wants you to consider him as a potential mate,” Taerae thought out loud. 

“Yeah, no, he’s definitely into you!” Matthew giggled full of excitement. “Who said that to you?”

Hao blushed furiously. Hanbin…wanted him to view him as a potential mate? That sounded even more implausible. 

“I…erm…” Hao mumbled.

Matthew whined impatiently. “Please, I won’t tell anyone!”

Hao bit down on his lip. But he knew if he didn’t speak to anyone about this, he would never get to sleep at night again.

“It was…Hanbin.”

Matthew actually leaped out of his seat, spilling his tea. It startled Hao, almost sending his own cup flying. 

“I knew it!” Matthew exclaimed. “In that case, it definitely means he’s into you.”

Hao flushed even more. This couldn’t be…but Matthew was personally attending the Sung family. Had he talked to Hanbin about this? 

“Stop freaking him out,” Taerae said, pulling Matthew back in his seat. “And I don’t think Hanbin would appreciate you spilling all his private secrets.”

“What secret? He’s the one who basically told Hao himself!” Matthew defended himself. “It’s not like Hao wouldn’t notice once he sent him a courting offer.”

Hao’s mind was buzzing again. This all was too fast for him. 

“I don’t think…he couldn’t have meant it that way,” Hao denied, because what would someone as great as Hanbin even see in him?

Matthew looked ready to jump to his feet again, but Taerae held him back. 

“Well, think about it, then. How have you treated Hanbin so far? I know you’ve been speaking with him since your return,” Taerae asked him.

Hao appreciated Taerae’s effort to understand him. 

“We’re friends. We knew each other as children. Just like you and I do. I think…I think he always reminded me of the little boy that used to follow me around back then. That made it so easy to talk to him.”

“Okay, so you saw Hanbin as the friend you had when you two were both kids,” Taerae repeated and Hao nodded. “And then Hanbin tells you to see him as an alpha. So, perhaps, Matthew is right and he wants you to view him as an option for courtship instead of your old playmate.”

“I am right!” Matthew insisted stubbornly.

Hao had to admit, with Taerae laying out the situation that way…it did make a certain sense. Or maybe Hanbin didn’t want to be friends anymore and wanted to enforce a stricter hierarchy level by stressing that he was an alpha and they were not kids anymore, where such things hadn’t mattered.

Either way, the topic made Hao’s head spin. It probably would for a long time. He desperately needed a break.

“Can we…can we talk about something else now?” He asked them. He felt like he had been the center of attention long enough. 

Matthew looked like he was about to protest but relented when Taerae threw him a serious look. 

“Fine,” Matthew pouted, crossing his arms in front of his chest and leaning back against the window. “Didn’t we have a reason to meet up here anyway? You two wanted to talk about something, right?”

Right , it shot through Hao’s head. Beside the courting season there was another thing that occupied his mind. His father. Sitting in his old study, like he had so many years ago, his presence felt stronger than ever. 

He turned to look at Taerae. It was Taerae who had an idea regarding how to clear up the mystery surrounding his father. Hao himself had felt quite discouraged after their dinner with Taerae’s father, seeing as he was their only source of information right now. If anything, Lord Kim had only confirmed what they had already suspected, leaving no new leads. 

Hao wondered what Taerae had heard that he hadn’t. 

First, however, it wasn’t just the two of them right now. Matthew was very evidently sitting in the middle of them, still unaware of what they had been up to. Taerae had alluded that Matthew would be vital for whatever he was planning and Hao had decided to trust him when he had invited him to his father’s study. However, now that they were here, he couldn’t find the words to explain. 

Luckily, Taerae was there with him. 

“Matthew, before we tell you anything, you have to swear you’ll keep everything we discuss here a secret,” Taerae said, voice dripping with gravity. 

Matthew's always easy-going grin slipped off his face.

“It’s that serious?” He asked, but when neither Hao nor Taerae looked like they were joking, he nodded. “I swear.”

Taerae took a deep breath, glancing at Hao once more. “It’s…you weren’t at the castle at the time. Do you know about Hao’s father?”

Matthew looked puzzled. “Of course I do! Scholar Zhang is famous. It’s partly due to him that I got this opportunity to work at the castle. His scriptures changed life for normal families like mine.”

Hao’s heart did a little jump. It was nice to hear of the positive impact his father had on actual people. People always called his father a great thinker, but seeing his thoughts bring actual change was what really mattered in the end.

“You know about his life,” Taerae concluded. “Do you also know about his death?”

Now Matthew looked a little more hesitant. “He passed rather shockingly, didn’t he? An accident, if I remember correctly?”

“Ten years ago, Scholar Zhang fell down the east tower. That’s how he died,” Taerae confirmed. “At least, that’s the story we’re supposed to believe.”

Hao’s heart clenched, hearing it spoken so drastically. He hadn’t even known which tower his father had fallen from for a long time, his mother and him had been gone from the castle so fast. He had fallen. That’s what his mother had answered to all of his questions back then. Hao had learnt to stop asking quickly. 

“Supposed to believe?” Matthew repeated. He sounded thoughtful. 

“There were rumors after his death. That it wasn’t an accident. Of course, nobody dared to question it back then. It would’ve been a big scandal. And the Zhang family…disappeared so quickly afterwards,” Taerae said, looking at Hao. 

“My mother and I were gone the next day,” Hao whispered. “I didn’t even know there had been rumors. Until Taerae told me.”

Matthew sucked in a sharp breath. “So you think someone pushed him?”

A shiver ran down Hao’s back. Who could’ve even done something like that to his father? His father had been a gentle soul, only bringing good to the world. Who could possibly hate him so much to want his life to end?

“We don’t know. But there are a few things that don’t add up,” Taerae confirmed. “This study. It’s been unused since. That’s not usually the case. It’s like people know this space is a bad omen.”

“I need to know,” Hao said, looking straight at Matthew for the first time. “I have to try and find the truth. For my father.”

Matthew’s expression changed into something determined. “You have my full support. My mother owes her life to your father. Only because he advocated for better medicine access in the rural areas she was able to treat her sickness. Only because of him I was able to leave home and come here. I might not have known your father personally, but I have great respect for him and everything he’s done.”

The words almost made Hao tear up. “Thank you.”

Matthew nodded fiercely. “So, what do you need me for?”

Taerae chimed in again. “We tried talking to my father about what he remembered of scholar Zhang’s death. It wasn’t much, but he confirmed that he was working on a project before his passing, which there is no trace left of. And he mentioned that all his belongings would have to be written down in his will, including all scriptures.”

Matthew’s gaze lightened up. Again, Hao wasn’t sure what he was hearing that he didn’t. 

“But I’ve never seen a will of him. His death was sudden, maybe he didn’t prepare one. Isn’t this just another dead end?” He pointed out skeptically.

“Hao, your father was a scholar. They prepare for everything and everything they prepare for, they write down,” Taerae said confidently. “Trust me, my mother has scriptures for everything.”

“Okay,” Hao relented. “But even if there is a will, how would we find it? I’m sure my mother wouldn’t give it to me, even if she had it.”

“Scholars are employed by the castle,” Matthew chimed back in. “Just like I am. Personal documents like that are kept in the vaults.”

Hao blinked. He looked at Matthew, then at Taerae. “You think-?”

“I think, if you and your mother left in a hurry overnight, there is a good chance the will might still be in the vault,” Taerae nodded, finally connecting the dots for Hao. “His study has been untouched since his death. I don’t think it’s too far-fetched to think that his vault might be the same.”

That…made a certain sense. His mother might’ve not taken the will with her when they left for the cottage. She he left anything that belonged to his father behind. It might be nothing, but maybe…maybe if there really was a will, it would hold some answers for them. 

“Is there any way to get into that vault?” Hao asked out loud, already moving on to the next problem. 

“Yes,” Matthew grinned. “In fact, I’ve already been there.”

That made Hao snap his head around in shock. 

Matthew cocked an eyebrow. “How do you think Hanbin got the key to this study?”

The wheels in Hao’s brain were spinning. He hadn’t questioned it too much when Hanbin had presented him with the set of keys to the old study - but of course, he must’ve gotten it from his father’s old belongings. 

“Servants are often sent down there to retrieve documents. Nobody even noticed that I wasn’t entering the Sung vault,” Matthew shrugged. “Hanbin told me to just get the keys back then, so I didn’t look around for any other documents. It might be in there as well.”

“If it’s my father’s vault, why can’t I just go in there?” Hao questioned. 

“Because servants are invisible,” Matthew told him with a grin. “Nobody sees us.”

“And right now, the entire castle is literally having their eyes on you,” Taerae reminded him. 

Hao felt the heat return to his cheeks. It was still hard to imagine all the attention he’s apparently been receiving since his return. 

“Let me do this for you,” Matthew insisted. “It’ll be much easier for me than for you.”

There weren’t many other options. Hao’s heart filled with gratitude for Matthew’s offer. Yet, sending his friend there made him a little uneasy. 

“Matthew, you need to understand, by getting involved with this, you might be in danger,” Hao told him with urgency. “If someone really was responsible for my father’s death, they might still be at the castle. I don’t think they’d take kindly to someone digging up old stories.”

“I understand,” Matthew said without an ounce of hesitation. “But like I said, let me do this for you. I owe your father. The least I can do is bring his son some peace of mind.”

A faint smile lifted the corner’s of Hao’s mouth. 

“If you’re really sure, then I’ll be most grateful for your help,” he said, making Matthew return his smile. 

“Great. I always wanted to be part of a secret alliance,” Matthew grinned. “We need to find a name!”

Taerae shook his head. “We’ll get to the name later,” he said, placing his cup down and standing up. “I have to leave for now. Rehearsal starts soon. Do you want to come listen, Hao?”

Hao thought about it for a second, before agreeing. It had been a while since he listened to Taerae’s choir. He could do with a little music for distraction.

“Great,” Taerae commented on his choice. “Matthew, why don’t you let us know once you find the time to go down to the vaults and we’ll meet back here?”

“Only if you tell me how many alphas decided to show up for choir practice today now that Hao’s joining,” Matthew teased them.

Hao stopped in his motion to get up. His eyes widened. “Will they actually come?”

“It’s a closed practice. Invite only,” Taerae assured him, glaring at the cackling Matthew. “Besides, now that courting season has officially started, they know not to approach you in closed settings without your chaperone present.”

That sounded at least a little reassuring. Although the prospect of his mother arranging dates for him from now on wasn’t really appealing either. His thoughts drifted back to Hanbin. Hanbin used to join him in this study quite frequently. Would that change now? Would they ever find time to speak alone again? Did Hanbin even want that after making those comments at the ball?

Matthew seemed to read his thoughts, patting his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Hanbin will find his ways to see you.He’s not one to give up easily.”

Hao blushed furiously. 

“I wasn’t concerned about that!” He tried to defend himself, but Matthew was already giggling again. Hao had always been a terrible liar. 

Taerae pushed Matthew towards the door. 

“Don’t you have some shelves to dust at the Sung residence or something?” He asked his friend.

Matthew rolled his eyes but apparently did have some work to do after all, slipping out of the door without any further teasing comments. 

“Come on,” Taerae held his hand out for him. “Let’s hurry before Matthew’s right and people will find their ways to follow you to rehearsal.”

Hao could only sigh as he followed his friend out. Seemed like there would be much to worry about in the future.

 

The next few days Hao felt like he was seeing the world in a different light. He had often wandered around without paying much attention to his surroundings - admittedly not a great habit, but he has lived most of his life in a secluded cottage where you couldn’t ever get lost. Now that he was paying a little more attention to the world around him, there were a lot more things he noticed. 

He would love to tell Matthew and Taerae that they had wildly exaggerated his popularity, but that would just be a lie. Wherever he went, there was someone holding a door open for him, offering to accompany him to wherever he was headed, inviting him out on strolls or gifting him flowers. It was all a bit much.

His mother was staying a lot closer to him than she had in the past weeks as well. As his official chaperone, her presence was required for anyone to make any courting advances towards him. She didn’t seem surprised in the slightest about all the attention Hao was receiving. Sometimes Hao wondered why she had always been so confident about Hao’s courting prospects when she had been there all of Hao’s life, witness to his lack of a romantic life and potential suitors. She accepted all his gifts for him, but declined all invitations for Hao to spend private time with any alpha, which he was grateful for. 

When he asked her about her strategy, she said she’s holding out for the official courting offers. She didn’t want Hao to look promiscuous by agreeing to dates with many different alphas. Apparently, she wanted to pick and choose his perfect mate and then focus all efforts on them. 

Hao actually agreed on that approach, although so far he couldn’t really say he knew any of the alphas well enough to truly fancy one of them. Well…except one. But Hao didn’t even know if…Hanbin was interested in that way. Despite what Matthew and Taerae had said, he simply couldn’t believe it.

These days, he caught himself searching for Hanbin whenever he wandered through the court. They hadn’t talked since the ball and if Hao was being honest, he kind of missed him. Then he berated himself for being ridiculous. Only a few days had passed. 

And yet. 

His heart kept doing silly things whenever he remembered the ball, the intense look in Hanbin’s eyes, the scent of his. 

At night, he sometimes even dreamed of Hanbin. Something he had never done…about anyone. Sung Hanbin was…a first. Hao had read enough romance novels to know what these signs meant.

Was he truly falling for Hanbin?

 

Objectively, it wouldn’t be surprising for anyone to fall for Hanbin. He was an exceptionally kind person, always listening to Hao, helping him out, with no judgement. If Hao thought about all their interactions since his return, he felt like he could truly be himself around Hanbin without having to be afraid.

He wondered what Hanbin was thinking about him. Did Hanbin really see something in him?

Unfortunately, with his mother sticking around so much, Hao didn’t find an opportunity to inquire about Hanbin’s whereabouts by himself. He doubted his mother would let him see Hanbin on his own anyway, not with the firm rejection policy she was upholding so far. 

The first official courtship offer would probably come in soon, letters just waiting to be sent and opened by his mother. Would Hanbin send one as well? 

And was it foolish for Hao to hope he would?

 

His mind was a big mess. Some days he wished he could be as relaxed as Taerae about the entire courting season. His friend seemed pretty unbothered about the whole ordeal, not really paying any of his admirers much mind. 

When Hao wanted to distract himself from the whole courtship situation, he tried to do some research about his father. Opportunities to sneak off into his study became sparse with his mother so prevalent in his life, but every once and again, Hao managed to steal away. The last place his mother would come looking for him would probably be his father’s study. She strictly avoided anything that had to do with her deceased spouse, so Hao felt quite safe from her clutches nestled in his father’s old chair.

There were still many scriptures that Hao hadn’t yet read in his office. Trying to find a clue about why anyone could hold a grudge against his father, he kept scanning through all his old works. It only frustrated him more that his last project had seemingly vanished from earth. No matter how often he looked in his desk and shelves, there were no hidden pages anywhere.

Maybe his mother had taken it after all, and destroyed it. Then all hope of finding out the truth would be lost. His mother was a complicated woman. Hao never fully understood her motives. It could very well be a possibility that she had gotten rid of everything. 

When everything got too much for him, Hao did what always helped him clear his head - walk.

 

Since spring had come, the temperatures had turned milder, shy sunrays fighting their ways through the clouds. Hao loved roaming through the scholar’s gardens, watching the first flowers bloom, reaching for the sun. It was nothing compared to the forest surrounding their cottage with its small rivers and tall oaks and firs, but when he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he could at least pretend he was somewhere far, far away.

It also helped that most noble alphas ignored the scholar’s gardens, preferring the lavish royal courtyard and the queen’s personal rose garden. It meant Hao didn’t have to be afraid that someone was watching him every second. Although loneliness was part of the reason he had despised the cottage, it was freeing to be alone every once in a while.

 

Hao was standing near the vegetable fields. The first seeds had already been planted. He knew some scholars were also studying vegetation, wanting to know what their plants needed to grow best. Hao respected their patience. Waiting a full year to see the result of your labor sure was a skill not many could hone. There was a slow beauty in it.

As so often, he got lost in his thoughts, staring at the little sprouts, wondering what they would grow up to be. He didn’t notice the footsteps approaching him until they were right next to him. 

“Zhang Hao.”

Hao jumped, startled by the sudden noise. 

Hanbin was staring at him, eyes widened in apology. 

“I’m so sorry,” he said, lowering his head. Then there was a quirk in his lips, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “I forgot how easily you startle.”

“Hanbin,” Hao bowed in return. For some reason, his heart wouldn’t calm down, still pounding against his chest. “I was just thinking.”

Hanbin smiled at him. “About what?”

Hao hadn’t expected that question. There weren’t many people who cared about his thoughts. But Hanbin always had.

“The plants,” he answered truthfully. “How long it takes for them to grow. And how fast they are harvested and eaten in the end.”

Hanbin’s gaze turned tender. “As always, your mind fascinates me.”

Hao didn’t know what to reply. Hanbin had often told him how smart he thought Hao was, but he had never taken the compliment seriously. With how sincere Hanbin looked at him now, he couldn’t help but feel a bit flustered. Hanbin must’ve meant it. 

He cleared his throat, eager to switch topics. “What brings you here?” 

He scanned the gardens, but apart from them, there wasn’t really anyone around. 

“I was looking for you,” Hanbin told him, again making Hao’s heart leap. 

“You were?” He asked, voice unexpectedly soft. 

Hanbin smiled at him. “I was,” he confirmed. “I’m also aware of courting rules, however.”

Disappointment seeped through Hao. “Right. We aren’t really allowed to see each other like this.”

Without his mother as chaperone, Hao wasn’t allowed to meet eligible alphas anymore. They probably had to cut this interaction short then. 

Hanbin didn’t look discouraged in the slightest. A grin slipped on his lips. “Since I wasn’t sure your mother would be there to chaperone us, I brought my own chaperone.”

He pointed behind his shoulder. Hao squinted his eyes. He hadn’t seen the man before, but now he recognized him. A few meters behind them, just out of earshot, someone was pointedly not looking in their direction. It was the Sung guard, Jiwoong, if he remembered correctly from their short introduction at the ball.

“According to courtship rules, one party has to bring a chaperone,” Hanbin told him with a smirk. “And if I’m being honest, I find Jiwoong a lot less intimidating than your mother.”

Hao couldn’t stop himself. He snorted out a laugh. Technically, this was probably not proper etiquette and his mother definitely wouldn’t approve. After all, it was heavily implied that it was the omega who had to have a chaperone accompanying them at all times and not the alpha. But there was nobody around anyway. And if anyone should spot them, they did have a chaperone around. 

“I guess in that case,” Hao said, cheeks bunched up in joy. “I am very happy you found me here.”

It was the truth. Despite his heart doing somersaults, he was genuinely happy to see Hanbin again.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Hanbin smiled at him, little crinkles appearing on his cheeks. “I do have to apologize again. I meant to come see you sooner. I’ve been terribly busy and you were…well-”

“Well-guarded,” Hao finished for him and Hanbin nodded with a sheepish grin. “I understand.”

They began walking around the fields. Whenever Hanbin’s shoulder brushed against him, goosebumps spread on Hao’s back.

“I wanted to talk to you. After the ball,” Hanbin told him, glancing at him from the side.

His words made Hao remember their last conversation. A blush spread on his cheeks. 

“What about?” Hao asked him, stomach tingling with a mixture of nerves and excitement.

Hanbin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Actually, I guess it’s more of a question.”

Hao looked at him. “Well, what do you want to ask me?”

Hanbin took a deep breath. “Hao, I-” his voice gave up and he swallowed. 

Surprised, Hao realized that Hanbin was…nervous. 

“What I was trying to tell you at the ball,” Hanbin tried again. “I wasn’t sure if you understood correctly.”

Hao frowned at him. He had broken his head over and over again over the same words, trying to make sense of them. Will he finally get his answer now? Did he even want it?

“To be honest, I’m not sure I did.”

Hanbin exhaled. “That’s why I wanted to clarify.”

“Clarify what?”

Hanbin stopped walking. Hao turned around to him. Hanbin’s eyes were fierce again. The scent of pinewood grew stronger. Hao’s breath hitched, his heart stumbling in his chest. 

The air around them seemed to have stilled in time.

“Hao, I think you’re wonderful,” Hanbin finally said. “Always thought so. And it would be an honor for me to properly court you. But before I do anything you might not want or that might make our relationship uncomfortable, I wanted to ask you…if that would be something you’d even be interested in?”

Hao’s heart missed a couple beats before deciding to make up for that by beating twice its regular speed. 

Hanbin thought he was wonderful. A warm feeling spread in his chest. Wonderful .

It took him a moment to process that, before he even realized what Hanbin had asked him. Now, Hao was new to this whole courting thing, but an alpha asking for allowance to start courting couldn’t be common. Yet, Hanbin had gone through the trouble of finding him, just to ask him for approval. 

This was why Hao felt so unafraid being around Hanbin. Because Hanbin would never do anything Hao didn’t want. 

“I promise I’ll do my best to support you and protect you and make you happy,” Hanbin kept talking when Hao remained silent. “And if I ever do something you feel uncomfortable with, I promise I will stop courting you right away.”

Hanbin took a step closer. 

“But I feel strongly about this. I know you think I haven’t changed much since we were children,” Hanbin said. “But let me prove to you that I have grown up to be a good alpha.”

His scent had grown stronger again and Hao shivered pleasantly at the aroma of pinewood. 

Hanbin seemed to be done talking for now, expectantly waiting for Hao’s reply. After overcoming the first shock, Hao felt a little like floating. He didn't understand why someone as good as Hanbin felt nervous around him - he was just Hao, after all. He wasn’t exceptionally powerful or influential. Yet, Hanbin wanted him. For whatever reason, Hanbin had chosen him. It felt like a miracle.

Hanbin wanted him . 

Was he dreaming?

He focused on the ground beneath his feet, could feel the pebbles underneath him, the wind brushing against his cheeks, the scent of plants mingling in the air. No, this was real.

“I think,” Hao breathed, heart still fluttering wildly. “I would be delighted to be courted by you.”

Hanbin looked at him in disbelief, before a wide smile spread on his lips. Hao mirrored it, heart jumping all over the place by now. 

“That’s- that’s-” Hanbin exhaled. “Thank you.”

Hao let out a shy laugh. He wasn’t quite sure what this was the beginning of, but it had been a long time since he had ever felt as thrilled to find out. 

“I will write you an official offer as soon as I can,” Hanbin told him eagerly, full of determination now that he had gained permission. He stepped closer again, this time his smile was a lot more confident. “And then, Zhang Hao, you will be courted like you’ve never been before.”

Hao giggled. Hanbin was cute. 

Behind them, someone loudly cleared his throat. Jiwoong, who had followed them subtly, nodded his head towards an approaching scholar. 

“Right, I better leave now,” Hanbin said, albeit looking regretful doing so. “You will receive my letter soon.”

“I’ll look out for it,” Hao smiled, his cheeks already hurting from it. 

It seemed like Hanbin couldn’t tear his gaze away from him. For a moment, he remained still, simply watching him, eyes filled with adoration. Hao felt his heart beating rapidly, his ears turning red underneath this undivided attention. It was not an unwelcome feeling, however. Quite exhilarating. As much as he generally disliked attention, he found Hanbin’s attention to be sort of thrilling. 

Only when Jiwoong coughed again, did Hanbin rip himself away, hurrying over to his guard and disappearing down a different path. 

Hao was frozen in his spot for some time. 

He wasn’t quite sure if he was still dreaming and would wake up any minute now. He hoped not.

But if he was…well, Sung Hanbin might just be the sweetest dream he’s had in quite some time.

Notes:

thanks for reading!! :33

haha hanbin's cards are all on the table now...and we're slowly bursting hao's bubble of obliviousness

what do you think??? i was so happy to read all your comments last chapter hehehe thanks to everyone who takes the time to write me one, you dont know how much that means to me!! i appreciate all of you dearly :33

have a wonderful day and stay safe and healthy <3

Chapter 8: Purple Carnations

Summary:

purple carnations. associated with admiration and remembrance; created from the tears of a grief-stricken mother who wept over the death of her child

Notes:

Hellooo and welcome back!! A little fluff, a little plot today - enjoy :D

It was the middle of the night. Hao hadn’t been sleeping well. Ever since Hanbin had asked for permission to court him, he was afraid he’d wake up to find that everything had been a dream. 

Someone like Hanbin showing interest in him seemed unimaginable. It’s been a few days and Hao still couldn’t believe that conversation had actually happened. He hadn’t been able to speak to Hanbin either since, his mother stuck close by his side as multiple alphas a day tried to make their advances. Hao hadn’t told her about Hanbin’s offer yet - he wasn’t sure how she would take it. 

Apparently, a few official courtship letters had already reached her and she took her time reading them all, deciding who would be best suited to be Hao’s mate. Hao hadn’t dared to ask if Hanbin’s letter had arrived as well. Would his mother even consider his opinion on this? 

This entire courtship season, Hao had done nothing but follow her orders. Her plan seemed to have worked out with all the attention they had attracted. But if Hao was being honest with himself, he was growing tired of being a silent prop bending to his mother’s demand. After all, this was his life. Shouldn’t he have a say in this as well?

All this attention, he hadn’t wanted. There was just one thing his heart seemed to long for…

It seemed to become another sleepless night, Hao’s mind going down its usual spiral - when someone fell through his door. 

And Hao meant fell in the literal sense. 

Quickly he jumped out of his sheets. He couldn’t make out anything in the faint shine of the blue moonlight. What if this person was dangerous? There was nothing around he could use to defend himself. Should he scream? Run? Hide?

Before he could make a decision, the person gathered himself back to their feet. In the flickering shine of the candlelight the mysterious person was carrying, Hao finally recognized the intruder. His defenses fell immediately. 

“Matthew!” He exhaled, relieved to see the friendly face. 

Matthew grinned. “Hey.”

Finally, his wits returned to him. He sank down back on his bed, regarding Matthew with a long look. “What are you doing here in the middle of the night?”

Matthew had the decency to look sheepish. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I just had to speak with you on your own. It’s hard to find you alone these days.”

“You could’ve come in the morning?” Hao suggested. Taerae still woke him up some days, sharing a comfortable breakfast with him before his mother came to whisk him away to sit in the courtyard all day. Matthew could’ve easily joined them if he wanted to.

“I have to work in the morning,” Matthew argued, shaking his head as if Hao was the unreasonable one. “And this was urgent.”

“Urgent?” Hao asked, already having a slight suspicion. 

Matthew’s face got serious. “I was just down in the vaults. I found your father’s will.”

Hao suddenly felt wide awake. It was like lightning had struck him. 

“You found the will?” He repeated breathlessly. 

Matthew nodded, pulling a neat little booklet out from underneath his robes. Hao had to remind himself to breathe. So the will did exist. They might find some answers after all. 

“Where should I put it?” Matthew asked him.

Hao’s head was spinning. He eyed the will, wondering whether this was the most dangerous item he would ever possess.

“Leave it with me. For now.”

Matthew seemed eager to hand the will over. Hao could understand him. If someone found them with the will, they would start asking questions. The last thing he needed was people asking questions. It could ruin everything.

Even though Hao’s fingers itched to read the will right away, he held himself back. Something told him he shouldn’t be alone when he opened it. 

“Matthew, do you think you could meet Taerae and me for tea tomorrow? In my father’s study?” Hao asked him.

“Oh, I wouldn't miss this for anything,” Matthew told him right away. His eyes turned gentle, “Will you be okay for tonight?”

Hao took a moment to think. His father’s will was lying in his lap. These were his last wishes.

A shiver made his body shake. Carefully, he placed the booklet into the drawer of his nightstand. It wasn’t like he had expected to sleep well tonight anyway.

“I will be,” Hao reassured his friend. “Thank you. For doing this. This means a lot to me.”

Matthew smiled. “I was glad to do it.”

At this moment, Hao knew that they needed Matthew. Whatever was to come from this, having someone as fearless as Matthew by his side could only be an asset. Despite being of no standing, Hao found Matthew more noble than most people. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Hao told him. “Good night.”

Matthew turned to leave. When the door fell shut behind him, Hao let out a deep breath. Would he ever be able to sleep again?

Fortunately, the next morning Taerae stepped by for breakfast again, so Hao could catch him up on the recent development. Taerae looked excited by the news, promising to join them in the afternoon for tea so they could look over the will together. 

Now, Hao only needed to find a way to distract his mother, so she wouldn’t notice his absence. 

Luck seemed to be on his side today. When his mother came to find him, she announced that a dozen new courting offers had been delivered to her room, so she’d be spending the afternoon sorting through them. Which meant, Hao was free to spend his afternoon however he liked. 

For the morning, however, his time was strictly occupied.

 

As usual, they took a seat in the courtyard. Small tables with tea sets were prepared for all omegas participating in the courting season to entertain possible suitors. A public setting to ensure things proceeded all prim and proper. 

There were a few other omegas sitting with their chaperones, but none of them were approached as often as Hao was. He was politely smiling at all of them as his mother did most of the talking. They were never really interesting conversations, mostly concerning the changing weather or whatever it was the alpha did as his occupation. Hao was rarely asked a question about his own interests, and even when he was, his mother was keen on answering on his behalf. 

Hao couldn’t help but think that any conversation he had shared with Hanbin had been more riveting than this. He missed those hours where they had sat together in his father’s study, discussing whatever philosophical scripture Hao had read last. He doubted any of these alphas cared much for philosophy. 

 

In the end, he was very glad that they could cut this day short. His mother rejected multiple alphas asking them to join for lunch - and then finally got up to retire to her rooms.

After promising his mother that he’d report any alpha approaching him in the absence of a chaperone, he was permitted to leave her side. He told her he would spend his time in the library reading, which was not a place frequented by many eligible alphas and a believable enough excuse. She seemed happy with that little white lie, although she did request him to come find her in the evening to discuss courting matters. 

 

As soon as Hao found himself alone, he hurried to his room. His father’s will was still hidden in his drawer. He hesitated before he picked it up. Was this really a good idea? Or should he just leave this alone? It wasn’t like he didn’t have enough other things going on at the moment that worried him. 

No. He couldn’t rest until he had tried everything possible to find out the truth. Hao had always been restless, his entire life wandering, wondering. It was his nature to follow up everything to its root. 

This wasn’t something he could ignore. He couldn’t let fear consume him. He needed to be courageous.

Just like Matthew had done the previous night, Hao hid the will inside his robes. Then he collected the keys for his father’s study.

 

He was the first one to arrive. This time, he had actually thought of organizing the tea, setting up the cups on his father’s desk. A servant down in the kitchen had helped him brew it. Knowing how much Hao loved flowers, she had even handed him a small arrangement of leftover purple Carnations to elevate his tea time.

The flowers now sat in a corner of his father's desk, making Hao's heart feel a little less heavy. The will itself was already placed right in the middle of the desk, still closed, containing all its secrets. Hao’s heart was pounding just thinking about opening it. 

There was a knock on the door and Hao hurried to open it. 

He froze. Unlike what he had expected, it wasn’t Taerae or Matthew standing on the opposite side. It was Hanbin.

His heartbeat accelerated. 

“H-hanbin,” he stuttered, surprised by his sudden presence. 

Hanbin looked delighted to find him here.

“Hey,” he smiled, waving lightly. “Sorry, I haven’t seen you around today, and I thought I could try here.”

“Y-you were looking for me?” Hao asked him and Hanbin looked a bit coy.

“I’m always looking for you. Whether I want to or not,” he admitted, scratching his neck. “I like knowing where you are.”

Hao felt heat rise to his cheeks. When did Hanbin become so blunt? 

“I need your help,” Hanbin stated, keeping the conversation going as Hao had momentarily lost his ability to speak. “Actually, we both need your help.”

He stepped aside a little. Only now did Hao take notice of the little girl hiding behind Hanbin’s legs. She was holding a paper kite in her hands, but it had obviously seen better days. 

“Oh,” Hao breathed, trying to understand the situation. 

“This is Miyeon,” Hanbin introduced him. “She was flying her kite, but it got stuck in a tree. When I helped her to retrieve it, it got caught in some branches and ripped.”

“Hanbin told me you could fix it,” Miyeon looked up at him with her big eyes, full of expectation.

Hanbin imitated Miyeon’s big eyes. “Please?”

Hao was a little baffled. While it seemed perfectly in character for Hanbin to help a child in need, he didn’t know why he had come to him of all people with this problem. To be honest, he deemed Hanbin perfectly capable of fixing a kite by himself.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Hao agreed nonetheless, stepping out of his father’s office and closing the door behind him. 

He would probably have a little time until Matthew and Taerae arrived anyway. 

Hanbin gave him a wide smile. He looked down at Miyeon. “See, I told you he’s the smartest person in the castle. He will fix your kite in no time.”

Miyeon laughed, pushing her kite in Hao’s hands. Still a little overwhelmed, Hao tried to assess the damage.

“Let’s go to the library,” he told them, already leading the way. “They have supplies there.”

Hanbin and Miyeon followed him with big smiles, holding each other’s hands. 

 

Once he reached the library, he settled down in his usual spot. Contrary to popular belief, the library did not only carry books and scriptures. There were all sorts of materials scholars could possibly need for their research stored in the drawers of the desks.

Hao reached for a pair of scissors, needles, threads and paper. To be sure, he also gathered a book on crafts, quickly finding the pages with the paper kites.

Miyeon had taken a seat opposite of him, watching him get to work with wide eyes of wonder. Meanwhile, Hanbin was sitting right beside him. 

When Hao reached for the scissors, Hanbin was faster, their hands brushing against each other. Hao blushed a little, mumbling a quiet thank you as Hanbin handed him the tool. 

“You know, this is probably not really appropriate without a chaperone,” Hao couldn’t help but to point out. He remembered his mother’s words -  but he surely wouldn’t inform her about this encounter.

Hanbin winked at him playfully. “What do you mean? Miyeon is our chaperone!”

Hao snorted in amusement. Had this been Hanbin’s plan all along? To find an excuse to spend time with him? Helping out a child was as proper of a reason to be seen together as there could be.

He sneaked a glance at Hanbin but quickly focused on the kite again when he saw how soft Hanbin’s gaze was on him. This couldn’t be healthy for his heart. Or his mind.

He took the needle and thread. He was not an expert in sewing, by far not as talented as his mother, but it would be enough to fix the whole inside of Miyeon’s kite. He looked at the instructions in the book, copying the complicated knots and sewing patterns with precision. 

Hanbin leaned over his shoulder, watching every move of his fingers carefully, as if they were something to marvel at. Hanbin was so close now that Hao could pick up his scent of pinewood and forest. Could Hanbin smell him as well? Did he enjoy Hao’s scent as much as Hao liked his?

An image plopped into his head, of Hanbin leaning down just a bit further, nuzzling his nose against his neck and leaving his scent on him. He blushed a fiery read. Scenting was something intimate, only for couples in advanced stages of their courting. 

Would Hanbin and him ever get there?

The sound of Miyeon’s legs hitting the desk made his daydreams disappear. He cleared his throat, feeling embarrassed by his own fantasies. He needed to concentrate.

 

A few minutes later, the kite looked as good as new. Proudly he presented it to Miyeon, who hugged it to her chest.

“Thank you so much!” She said, bowing deeply. “Hanbin was right! You are the smartest!”

Hao could only chuckle at her childlike exaggeration. 

Polite as she seemed to have been raised, Miyeon bowed to Hanbin as well. Hanbin smiled, returning the bow, before holding his palm out. Miyeon jumped in the air to clap against it with her own much smaller hand. 

Hao swooned a little as they laughed together. It was very endearing how precious Hanbin treated children.

“Be careful now! Stay away from the big trees!” Hanbin warned her but Miyeon was already rushing off again.

Hanbin shook his head as he watched her, but there was a fond smile resting on his lips.

“You are very good with children,” Hao blurted out what had been on his mind watching the entire interaction. 

Hanbin keened at his compliment. “Thank you,” he nudged his side playfully. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Hao smiled at his feet coyly. He hadn’t spent much time around children at the cottage, so he felt a little awkward around them. He was glad it hadn’t been too noticeable.

Hanbin let out a long breath.

“I should probably walk you back now that our chaperone has left,” he said reluctantly. 

Hao was a bit disappointed, but he knew that spending more time alone with Hanbin in public like this would be unwise. He gathered all his supplies to store them away. 

A needle pricked him in his finger and he hissed at the sting.

Hanbin was quick to inspect his hand. “Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?”

Hao’s wrist was burning where Hanbin was holding him. They were still sitting so close, it made his head dizzy.

“Y-yes,” he said, pulling his hand away. “I’m not even bleeding.”

“You need to be careful,” Hanbin told him, eyes full of concern. “I don’t like seeing you in pain.”

It made Hao’s heart flutter more than it should.

“I’m not in pain,” Hao quickly said, a little more cautious now as he tidied up his workspace.

Hanbin still insisted on helping him up from his chair, which was just utterly ridiculous, because Hao wasn’t injured and he surely wasn’t injured anywhere near his feet. 

When Hanbin’s hand brushed his waist, hovering over the small of his back for a single breath, his whole body tingled and he forgot any remarks he had had about Hanbin’s unnecessary fussing.

 

It wasn’t a long walk back to his father’s study. The door was still closed, neither Taerae nor Matthew in sight. Hao pulled the key out of his pocket, ready to get back to work. 

He turned around to look at Hanbin, who seemed hesitant to leave. 

“Thank you for helping us,” he said. 

“Of course,” Hao replied, always happy to be around Hanbin, no matter what they were doing. He couldn’t help but to make a teasing remark regardless. “Although I can’t help but wonder if you aren’t perfectly able to fix a kite yourself.”

Hanbin bit down on his lip, smiling sheepishly. “You are the smartest person I know. Nobody I would trust more with a kite than you,” Hanbin explained himself. “Really, it was impressive how you studied that book so quickly.”

He would never get used to hearing words so kind from Hanbin. It was hard to believe he was being sincere. Hanbin must really find him wonderful. 

Flustered, he stared at his feet. “It was just a simple kite.”

“Also,” Hanbin added. “I wanted to spend time with you.”

Hao’s heart skipped a beat. It confirmed his earlier suspicions. 

“I-erm..I-” Hao found himself lost for words once more. Whenever Hanbin made such bold statements, he didn’t know how to react.

Hanbin didn’t seem to mind, looking at him endeared. 

“I’m sorry I disturbed you during your study time, however,” he said, pointing to his father’s office. “Were you reading in there again? May I come inside?”

The gears in his brain snapped back into place. He remembered why he was here in the first place, before Hanbin had come with all his charm and distracted him. 

As much as he wanted to invite Hanbin inside to discuss philosophy, away from the public eye where they could just be themselves, disregarding all ridiculous courting customs, he knew he couldn’t. At least not right now. 

He looked over his shoulder, his father’s will very prominently laying on the desk. 

He bit down on his lip. Hanbin couldn’t know about that. It would be dangerous. A noble like Hanbin getting involved in whatever this was - it wouldn’t look good for him. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Hanbin, but even potentially hurting him was enough reason to keep this a secret from him. 

“I am so sorry,“ Hao said, feeling genuinely bad. Here Hanbin was, wasting his time looking for him, going as far as making up kite-repair excuses and Hao had to turn him away. “Right now is not a good time. I’m…actually expecting Taerae.”

“Oh,” Hanbin looked disappointed for a moment, before smiling again. “No worries. You didn’t know I was coming. I already took up your time. I understand.”

“I am really sorry. I would’ve really liked to speak with you again,” Hao repeated, lips forming a pout. “You must be upset. You’ve wasted your time now.”

Hanbin laughed. “You think I get upset this easily?” He asked him, not sounding upset at all. “Besides, I got to see you, that’s never a waste of time. And I plan on spending a lot more time with you in the future. Just wait and see.”

Hao was too flustered again to reply. He stared at Hanbin with wide eyes, who positively beamed at him. 

“Actually, the reason I was really looking for you was to give you my letter. So you can expect me to be around even more soon,” Hanbin told him confidently. He pulled an envelope out from the inside of his jacket. 

Hao’s eyes widened. All the courting offers so far had been addressed directly to his mother - but of course, Hanbin didn’t adhere to these rules. Somehow, Hao liked it. 

“I–uhm-” Hao mumbled, carefully accepting the envelope. “Thank you. I’d like that.”

Hanbin smiled so brightly, Hao felt like he was looking at the sun. But it didn’t burn. It glowed golden. 

“Good.”

“Good.”

Hanbin kept looking at him. Hao only just noticed now how much he did that. Look at him. Like he couldn’t see enough of him. He felt himself blushing again just thinking that.

Hanbin sighed wistfully. “I’ll leave you alone then,” he said. “I hope you have a fun time with Taerae.”

“Thank you,” Hao said, heart beating fondly in his chest. “I hope you have a good day as well.”

Hanbin gave him another flirtatious smile. “Oh, it’s been good now.”

Despite feeling flustered, Hao had to snort at the outrageous comment. 

“Goodbye Hanbin,” he said and Hanbin laughed, retreating from the doorframe.

Hao’s heart was beating wildly as he closed the door. He leaned his back against it, letting himself revel in this feeling of joy and bewilderment for a moment. Nobody had told him it would feel like this. Falling. 

 

He nearly jumped out of his skin when there was another knock on the door. He allowed himself a second to collect his thoughts before opening it. Back to reality. 

Not ready to be teased about this just yet, Hao quickly hid the letter in the inside of his robes.

This time, it was both Taerae and Matthew greeting him. Hao locked the door behind them, before following them into the room. His hands were slightly shaky as he poured the tea for them. 

Gently, Taerae took the kettle from him.

“Is that the will?” He asked, nodding his head towards the black booklet on the desk. 

Hao’s mouth felt dry. He took a deep breath. He needed to concentrate now. He could think about Hanbin’s letter later. 

Now, his father needed him. 

“It is,” Hao replied, sitting down in the desk chair. “I haven’t opened it yet.”

“What? Why not?” Matthew asked him, his legs bouncing up and down. 

“I didn’t want to be alone,” Hao told him honestly. “And you two both deserve to see this as much as I do.”

Both his friends' gazes turned soft. 

“Alright,” Taerae said. “We’ll open it together.”

All their cups were poured full now. They had settled around the desk. The will laid in their middle, almost inconspicuously. It could’ve been any other book. But it wasn’t. 

“Whenever you’re ready,” Matthew told him, looking at him expectantly. 

Hao exhaled. He nodded. He could do this. 

He reached for the will. Carefully, he opened the first page. 

 

This is the will of Zhang Fei, born 4th February 1976

I request these last wishes of mine to be fulfilled rightfully and I hereby decide how to proceed with my belongings after I pass. 

This document was revised and approved by the official royal inheritance advisor Yoon Yeochan

 

There was the signature of his father and the signature of Yoon Yeochan at the bottom of the first page. His fingers traced over the letters of his father’s name. It was his handwriting. This really was his will. 

He looked up at Matthew and Taerae who had read over his shoulder. They nodded at him to turn the page. 

The will wasn’t long. There were only three more pages. On the first one, his father’s family tree was explained, ending with Hao’s own name at the very bottom.The second page described how his father had earned his fortune, how his great-great grandfather had been a merchant from a foreign land, bringing in novel goods and selling them. It was proof that his father was the rightful owner of all his assets and possessions. Their family had been wealthy for decades.

On the third and last page, all his father’s published and unpublished works and scriptures were listed in chronological order. Most of the ones that had been finished, he had decided to give to the royal library, to be accessible by anyone who wanted to read and expand on his research.

And then, at the very end - Hao’s breath got stuck. 

 

My most recent and most ambitious project, I will leave with and for my only son, Zhang Hao. May he find it. Change only comes with courage. 

 

Just to make sure there wasn’t anything else to the will, Hao turned the page as well, but they had reached the end. This was his father’s will. 

Change only comes with courage. It matched the words on his father’s gravestone that his mother had chosen: Flowers only bloom with courage. Was this a coincidence?

My most recent and ambitious project. This confirmed Taerae’s fathers word. There was one more project. One more project that had seemingly vanished from the face of the earth after his father’s death.

“So my father’s memory was right,” Taerae came to the same conclusion. “Scholar Zhang was working on something before his death. And he left it to you.”

Hao nodded slowly. There was definitely something odd about this. All his other works, unfinished and finished, even his most famous one ‘A Distribution of Wealth and Health’ had been left to the public. But not this one. Why not this one?

“It says you need to find it,” Matthew pointed out. “Does that mean it’s hidden?”

Hao had no idea. “Why would he hide it? All his other works are here?”

“It could’ve been stolen,” Taerae mused. “Or it could be hidden. But-” he stopped, throwing Hao a hesitant look. 

“What?” Hao urged him on. 

“I think…your father’s death could be related to this work,” Taerae finished his thought. 

Hao’s heart stopped. “Why would…why would anyone do something so cruel over a philosophical scripture?”

“Hao, your father’s words had influence. Huge influence,” Matthew told him. “Whatever this project was…someone might not have liked it.”

“Your father fought for equality,” Taerae added. “It made him popular. But it could’ve also made him a target for people who didn’t like the changes he brought.”

“Why would anyone not like the changes? He fought for goodness! He changed lives for the better!” Hao argued fiercely. 

He couldn’t imagine anything his father had written could be considered controversial, could’ve made him enemies. Everyone always spoke about his father with so much respect. How could it be possible that what earned him all that respect was the reason for his early death?

“We understand that,” Taerae said, patting his shoulder consolingly. “But some people might not. There are traditional forces, conservative forces that still hold high positions in court.”

“You think-” Hao’s voice cracked. “You really think someone in this castle would have pushed him off that tower…for his work?”

He didn’t want to believe it. Everyone always told him how well-liked his father had been, how much good he had brought into the world. Hao remembered his father as a gentle man, a man everyone respected, a man ready to lend a helping hand to those in need. It was hard to imagine a world where someone hated him so much they decided to end his life.

“There is something else that is strange,” Matthew pointed out, taking the will in his own hands. He turned the pages again. “Don’t you think it’s odd that he only decides what to do with his scriptures? What about all his other belongings? His fortune? His residence?”

Right, that had struck Hao as odd as well. He looked at the will again, but there were still only four pages in total. Page 1, 2, 3- His eyes widened. 

“You’re right!” He exclaimed. “Page four is missing!”

The pages were numbered. 1, 2, 3, and 5. There was no number four. Surely, his father wouldn’t have made that mistake with his own will. 

Taerae frowned. “Hao, who would gain anything from stealing a page from your father’s will?”

“I…I don’t know,” Hao replied, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “Apart from my mother and me, there is no family left. I doubt he would’ve left anyone else with any of our goods. Besides, we got to keep everything - all the fortune and the cottage.”

“You can’t steal a heritage by stealing pages of a will,” Taerae confirmed, thinking out loud. “Taking the pages would make no sense if the things weren’t yours to begin with. You only need them to rightfully prove that something belongs to you.”

“But you said your mother and you got to keep everything?” Matthew repeated.

“I think so,” Hao said, looking over the first pages again where all his father’s possessions were listed. As far as he could say, they were all passed on to him and his mother. “We are his last living relatives.”

“Maybe we should ask an expert about this. I don’t really know how inheritances work. Aren’t there rules about what you are allowed to give away and what becomes public property?”

“I…I don’t know,” Hao had to admit. “I have never thought about this. I didn’t know there was a will in the first place. I suppose there have to be rules.”

“But the will was approved by this inheritance advisor,” Matthew pointed out, turning back to the front page. “Maybe we can-”

His word’s got stuck, making both Hao and Taerae snap their heads around to him. Matthew’s face had gone pale. 

“What?” Hao asked him, concerned. 

“The date,” Matthew whispered. “Hao, when did your father die?”

“December 12th.” The date was engraved in Hao’s brain as much as on the tombstone of his father. He had read it so often on his father’s gravestone. He would never forget it. 

Matthew looked at him. “This will was written on December 11th.”

He turned the will around to show them. Right underneath the two signatures, the date was stated clearly. Hao felt his stomach drop. 

The will had been written exactly one day before his father had died. This…couldn’t be a coincidence…could it?

“He knew,” Hao breathed out. “My father knew he would die soon. That’s why he wrote the will.”

Matthew and Taerae threw him pitiful looks. This confirmed it. His father’s death had not been an accident. Someone must’ve pushed him off that tower.

Hao’s last hope that they’d find proof that it had all been one unfortunate incident and all the rumors had been baseless vanished into thin air.

And this will was just the start to all the secrets they’d uncover.

Notes:

Hehehe thank you for reading!!

What do you think?? Haobin were just being cute this chapter hihi but we learnt a little something new in the mystery murder case :3

I wanted to thank you all again for all the lovely comments under the last chapter!! I was so so so happy to read all of your thoughts, you have no idea how much joy this gives me :D So I really appreciate everyone taking the time to write me one!!

Everybody have a wonderful week <3

Chapter 9: Dandelion

Summary:

dandelion. associated with intelligence; a symbol of fighting through the challenges of life and emerging victorious on the other side

Notes:

hehehe have fun with the fluffiest chapter yet :33

They left the will in his father’s study. For the time being, it was the safest place for it. Hao was the only person in the castle with a key and only people Hao trusted knew that he had access to the study. Taerae and Matthew had sworn themselves to secrecy and Hao would do anything to keep Hanbin out of danger - and therefore far away from the will. If the will remained undetected, they hoped their investigation remained so as well. 

 It was long past dawn when they parted ways that day. They had discussed over and over again what the will meant. The missing page. The mysterious project that had been bequeathed to Hao. There seemed to be a lot of things that had been lost over time. 

Together, they had gone through all his father’s shelves again, hoping to find any clue to what could’ve happened to any of these things. Or even what his last lost scriptures could’ve been about. However, just like Hao had before, they found nothing. It was like the last few months of his father’s life had been erased. 

Hao’s stomach twisted painfully. What if they had purposefully been erased? What if someone had tried to cover their tracks?

He was more than certain now that his father’s death had not been an accident. While the reason for his death was still unclear to him, there could be some truth to Taerae’s theory that it could have something to do with his lost project. 

It only made Hao wonder more what his father could’ve been writing about. He wished he had paid more attention as a child, but back then he couldn’t have guessed what importance it would become to him. 

Had it been another scripture about the distribution of medical treatment across their kingdom? An evaluation of the changes implemented after its publication? Had his father been dissatisfied with their rulers efforts to enforce more equality? Had he been too critical this time? 

But why would anyone be upset about his father fighting for easier access to medical treatments? 

No matter how hard Hao tried, he couldn’t understand it. 

 

Despite being reluctant to leave him alone after what they had discovered, Matthew and Taerae bid him goodbye in the end. They had their own duties to attend to and - Hao remembered - his mother was also expecting him. 

Hao wasn’t sure if he was up to sitting down for one of his mother’s etiquette lessons right now, but he supposed he had little choice in this if he ever wanted to be left out of her sight in the near future. After all, she had only let him wander off on his own because she believed him to be reading in the library. 

To make his lie a little more believable, Hao stopped by his room first to pick up a book he had borrowed from the library some time back. He tried to clear his head. 

If his mother found out about his little private investigation, she would probably lock him up in his room and throw away the key. She avoided anything that had to do with his father and especially with his death. It made Hao wonder how much she knew. After all, unlike him, she had been an adult at the time of his father’s death. Had she heard the rumors? Had she believed them? If so, why hadn’t she ever said anything?

Hao wanted to ask her so many things, but he knew he couldn’t. If he wanted to keep inquiring about this, he needed it to be kept secret from his mother. 

 

When he reached his mother’s room, he knocked on her door. He waited a few polite seconds before letting himself in. 

His mother’s room was only slightly larger than his own. It had the same layout, a small bed and a desk, a closet, and an attached bathroom. However, since his mother was in charge of all his wardrobe, her room was cluttered with different fabrics and clothes. 

It made Hao remember that his mother used to work as a seamstress before she had married his father. He wondered if she missed that work. 

She looked up from her desk when Hao entered. She was wearing her reading glasses, something she only did when they were in private. Since coming to the castle, she had mostly abandoned them, but Hao remembered her wearing them a lot around the cottage.

She gave him an acknowledging nod, before returning to whatever she was reading. Hao understood not to disrupt her and went to take a seat on the second chair next to the desk. 

Now that he had stepped closer he could encipher what exactly his mother was reading. It was a bunch of letters. Courting offers, Hao realized, with a drop of his stomach. It had to be over thirty.

All of a sudden, he remembered Hanbin’s letter. He should probably hand it over to her as well, but he was reluctant to do so. 

Seeing his mother read over the offers so calmly, Hao felt a new emotion well up inside of him. One that he hadn’t felt in quite some time. It surprised him so much, he needed a second to recognize it.

It seemed like just a few days ago, the possibility of even receiving one courting offer had felt below zero to Hao. Not once in his life had anyone ever expressed any intention towards him. 

And now, here his mother was sitting, acting so nonchalant at the reality that over two dozen alphas had addressed their offers to Hao. 

The emotion rising inside of him was anger. 

He was angry, because apparently his mother had known things he didn’t. She had had a plan and never told him. She never told him anything. She never asked him anything. They haven’t been openly speaking to each other probably since his father’s death!

Hao clenched his fists. 

And then, for what felt like the first time in his life, he raised his voice to do something his mother had explicitly told him not to do. Speak up.

“How did you know?” 

His mother looked up. At first surprised that he had spoken at all, then displeased that he had disrupted her concentration before she had allowed him to, she frowned at him.

“Hao, can’t you see that I’m busy right now?” She scolded him, raising her eyebrows. 

Something inside of him wanted to give in, hating to make her unhappy, so used to staying quiet - but the anger inside of him had taken over.

“How did you know?” He repeated his question. “Because you knew. You had to have known. Otherwise you would’ve never let us come back here.”

It was obvious now. His mother was a proud woman. She would’ve never returned to the castle if she had even considered the possibility of failure. No, she had set foot in the castle knowing people would want to court Hao. Their expectations couldn’t have been more different.

“What are you talking about?” Her voice was cold. Hao could tell that she wasn’t used to being talked to like this. 

Hao gestured to the table, filled with courting offers. “This!” He said. “I came here thinking nobody would even look at me. Nobody has ever looked at me my entire life. But you would’ve never come here if you didn’t know people would want to court me. So please, mother, be honest with me about this at least once. How did you know?”

His mother was silent for a moment, returning his stare. It seemed she was waiting for Hao to give in, but Hao didn’t. He wouldn’t. Not this time. Finally, she looked away first. 

“You’re wrong,” she said. When Hao was about to protest, she quickly continued. “Not about me knowing. But about nobody ever looking your way.”

Hao opened and closed his mouth. He had been ready to argue - but now he didn’t know what to say. “What do you mean?”

His mother sighed. “People have looked your way ever since you presented. Of course, you were much too young then,” she told him. “But people still tried. Even when we came to the cottage. I had to reject every alpha on your behalf that crossed your path.”

Hao’s ears were ringing. It seemed like he wasn’t the only one keeping secrets in this family. 

“You rejected everyone?” Hao asked full of disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

His mother gave him a fierce look. “There are things at stake you don’t understand.”

Hao’s anger exploded. “You still should’ve told me!” He said, standing up and slamming his hands on the table. 

His palms throbbed due to his own force but he ignored it.

His mother looked unimpressed at his display of emotions. She leaned back in her chair, watching him closely. 

Hao clenched his teeth. Seeing her act so casually only angered him more. 

“Do you know how I felt all these years? I thought something was wrong with me! I thought I was ugly and worthless and a disgrace! I thought I deserved to be alone! I thought nobody would ever want me!” Hao was seething at this point. “Do you even know how humiliated I felt coming to court? Having to appeal to all these nobles thinking they’d see me as nothing but dirt underneath their shoes?”

Hao’s vision blurred as tears of rage filled his eyes. He was desperate now. 

“I never did anything to make you unhappy. I always tried my best to appease you, I listened to everything you told me to do. And yet you couldn’t even let me have that,” he practically spat out. “Dignity.”

His legs felt weak now and he collapsed back in his chair. He was breathing heavily. It took him a moment to calm down. He couldn’t remember if he had ever spoken to his mother or anyone else like this. He wiped the tears out of his face. The last time they had an honest conversation felt ages ago. This had been long overdue.

That’s why when he finally looked at her again, he was shocked to find her eyes glistening as well. She wasn’t crying. She never cried. But there was something on her face that was a lot more vulnerable than he had ever seen her. 

It seemed like she was internally debating something. Hao didn’t know what had her so conflicted. All of a sudden, she got up to her feet. Hao flinched a little at the movement, but his mother had already turned her back to him. She was walking across her room. 

Hao followed her with his gaze. She stopped next to her nightstand. She opened the small drawer, rummaging around it, apparently searching for something. Hao couldn’t exactly see what she was doing, but when she turned around, she was holding a page in her hand. 

Hao frowned in confusion. 

His mother’s expression had turned somewhat colder again - but Hao knew that what she was about to show him didn’t leave her cold. 

“I know the past years must’ve been hard for you. Maybe I should’ve told you sooner,” his mother said, slowly sitting back down opposite of him. “But I had a reason to reject all those alphas.”

Carefully she began unfolding the piece of paper. Hao’s heart was beating wildly, not knowing what to expect. He hadn’t known what to expect from his outburst in the first place - but maybe he should’ve spoken up much earlier. 

His mother looked at the paper, then at him. Reluctantly she placed it on the desk for him to see. 

From all the things Hao had expected her to show him, this was perhaps the last thing. 

It was page four. His heart stopped for a moment. It was page four from his father’s will. 

A million new questions formed in his head. He had thought he’d never get to see page four of the will. Turned out, his mother had kept it with her all along.

Just two days ago, he hadn’t even known the will actually existed.

Why did she have it? Why only page four? What did that have to do with the courting offers? His mind was running a mile a minute.

“Before his death, your father took certain precautions.” 

His mother’s voice wavered a little when she mentioned his father. It must’ve been ages since she had acknowledged his life. 

Hao leaned further over the table so he could read more of the will. Just like they had assumed mere hours earlier, the missing page four contained how his father wanted to proceed with his fortune and the cottage.

“We’re his last living relatives,” his mother kept explaining. “He wanted to leave us everything in his will.”

Hao frowned. His father wanted to - didn’t he do just that?

“But since we’re both omegas, neither of us are entitled to inherit property of such value. Or a fortune amounting to what your father was owning. Especially since neither of us are of any standing.”

Hao’s head snapped up to his mother. He had never heard about this rule. Omegas were not allowed to inherit property or large sums of money and riches? 

“Usually, that means, when a family like ours loses their head alpha, we leave with nothing to our name,” his mother said.

Suddenly, Hao remembered the few instances where families had to leave the castle after the passing of their head alpha. He had never understood that practice - but to live at the castle you had to either work there or be of noble blood. 

Most married omegas didn’t work and were only married into nobility. 

Slowly Hao began to understand. 

“Your father knew that. And he found a loophole,” his mother said, turning the page of the will around so Hao could read it properly. “It is common practice for families like ours, families with only omega offspring, to leave their inheritance with the alpha mates of their children.”

Hao had skimmed over most of the page by now. His mother pointed him to a paragraph. 

 

Since neither my mate nor son are eligible to inherit my fortune and my property, I will leave both with whomever my son chooses to mate. In the meantime, both my fortune and my property are to be looked after by my mate and wife, Zhang Mai, who I hereby allow to work as a my property and estate manager.

An alpha mate has to be found by the time Zhang Hao turns 25 years of age, otherwise this testament becomes obsolete and all inherited items will be considered property of the royal court.

 

Hao had to read over the paragraph a few more times to truly understand it. The first part was clearly written in the neat font that was his father’s handwriting. The second paragraph seemed to have been added later.

“So we don’t own the cottage? Or any of the money?” He summarized, looking up at his mother for confirmation. 

“We are not allowed to own it,” his mother told him. “However, with your father’s permission to work as his estate manager, I am allowed temporary access to both. As long as it can be seen as an act of maintaining and managing his property and money until it passes to its rightful heir.”

Hao took a moment to think. All of this seemed…unfairly complicated. They weren’t allowed to own property or fortune, simply because they were omegas?

“Your father was able to include that loophole in his will under the condition that it was a temporary solution. The royal inheritance advisor only allowed the will to be official if there was a clause stating by what time the inheritance has to be given to its real owner.”

“Real owner,” Hao whispered. 

His mother nodded. “Your future mate.”

It seemed utterly ridiculous. A stranger was more entitled to his father’s inheritance than his own son? Hao failed to see the logic. 

“Do you understand now why you can’t just mate anyone?” His mother told him. “We could lose everything.”

Hao swallowed. So apparently it was up to his future mate what would happen with their fortune and their home. 

“They have to be rich and of high standing, otherwise they might not know how to handle inheriting such prosperity. Money can easily destroy an alpha’s morality,” his mother said. “That’s why I decided to come back to the castle. I need to be strategic about whose offer I might consider.”

A deep breath left Hao. Hearing those words unsettled something deep in his guts. He narrowed his gaze on his mother. Perhaps not all of his anger had fully subsided yet. 

“You consider?” He stated, crossing his arms over his chest. “So I don’t even get a say?”

His mother pursed her lips. Apparently, she had had enough of Hao’s attitude for one night, but Hao was a lot more fed up than she was. He had held himself back for years. This was his breaking point.

“Hao, I just told you why your mate has to be chosen with utmost consideration,” his mother said, voice dangerously thin. “We cannot be swayed easily by appearances or feelings.”

Hao huffed. He sat up straight in his chair. The movement made Hanbin’s letter inside his robes crinkle a little. 

“I understand,” Hao told her. “But it is not only an inheritance that depends on this courtship. It’s my life.”

He reached for the inside of his robes and pulled out the courtship offer by Hanbin. He had planned on reading it himself and then perhaps carefully bringing it up to his mother, letting her know that it was Sung Hanbin who had captured his heart. 

But there was still anger left in him. Anger, that his mother hadn’t told him any of this. Anger, that she didn’t trust him to make a sensible decision on his own. Anger, that an inheritance seemed to be more important to her than Hao’s opinion. 

He contained himself. One emotional outburst was enough for one day. 

He placed the letter on the desk, right in the middle between them. 

His mother raised her eyebrows, clearly lacking understanding. 

“It’s a courtship offer by Sung Hanbin,” Hao explained. “He is the only one I consider.”

His mother sighed. “Hao-”

Hao stood up, looking right in his mother’s eyes. “I know it might not be written down in that will,” he interrupted her. “But I know father would’ve valued my wishes more than any money. I hope you can, too.”

His mother seemed astounded. 

Hao was, too. He wasn’t a confident person, nonetheless a confrontational one. He was quiet and agreeable and pliant and obedient.

But he was also tired. Tired of knowing nothing and having no power. 

And just tired in general. It had been a long day. 

Without waiting for an answer, he turned around and stormed out of his mother’s room. 

For the next few days, Hao was left alone. He wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad sign. It wasn’t like he had never argued with his mother before, but it had always been over minor issues - like wandering off too far or staying out too late. Hao hated the feeling that came along with fighting, the feeling of being a disappointment, this ambiguous state of a relationship. That’s why in the past, he had avoided conflicts and learnt to keep his thoughts to himself.

Everyone reached their breaking point, however, and Hao had reached his. 

Whether his mother was angry, disappointed or even regretful - Hao couldn’t change what he had said, neither did he want to. While there was an uncomfortable knot in his stomach, there also was a new sense of freedom that had taken over his body. 

It showed him that maybe it had been more than necessary for him to speak up for once.

 

Since his mother didn’t come looking for him in the morning, he was left with plenty of free time. He wasn’t sure what his mother was doing with her time, but Hao was spending his time more purposefully than ever.

As soon as the opportunity arose, he invited Taerae and Matthew back to his father’s study, telling them about the recent revelation. Both of them were more than surprised to hear that he had already located the missing page of the testament. 

Neither Matthew nor Taerae had known about the inheritance rules. Matthew, because his family didn’t own expensive goods or property they could bequeath in the first place, and Taerae because both his parents were still very much alive. They agreed, however, that the law made no sense. They could also conclude that it had not been money or property his father had been murdered over. After all, all his belongings would pass to whomever Hao would mate.

Hao used the remainder of his newly acquired freetime to read up on inheritance rights. Luckily, the library had an extensive law and politics section - and while there was not much in the subsection he was looking for, he did find the inheritance ruling made decades ago. It was clearly stated that omegas were not suited to own property or riches on their own. 

Reading it black on white, Hao was quite shocked. The consequence of this law was that no omega ever could be truly independent. Even the royal omegas did not rightfully possess all their goods! It was absurd to him that a law like this existed. 

It only left him with more open questions. Did people know about this? In most cases, it did not seem to be particularly relevant. People with something of worth to inherit usually grew old enough to have children and grandchildren when they died - one of which most likely an alpha or mated to an alpha, who could then inherit their fortune. 

But there were also cases like Hao and his mother - why weren’t there laws in place to help them?

 

A week had passed since they had discovered the will - yet Hao felt no inch smarter than before. They now definitely knew that his father’s death had not been an accident, the will being written a day before his fall too big of a coincidence. They knew that he had been working on a secret project that he had specifically left for Hao. And they knew that Hao and his mother did not own any of his fortune and that whoever Hao was going to mate was the rightful heir. 

Which was why they had come back to the castle. Not only to find Hao a mate, but to find an heir to his father’s legacy. Whenever Hao remembered that part, his mind automatically drifted towards Hanbin. He hadn’t seen him either since receiving his letter. It made him a bit anxious. 

What would Hanbin say if he learnt about the will? Would he change his mind? He was craving to see Hanbin again - something he realized with a heart beating way too fast. However, until his mother officially accepted the courting offer on his behalf, they were only allowed to meet with a chaperone. Something that seemed rather impossible since his mother had sequestered herself for the time being - and Hao doubted that Hanbin’s guard Jiwoong or the little girl Miyeon would be deemed an appropriate chaperone by the public court. In the end, it all came back to his own mother.

Meeting Hanbin with his mother present was better than not meeting Hanbin at all. There was still so much Hao wanted to ask him, wanted to know about him. 

At night, when he was alone, Hao dreamed about what it would be like to be courted by Hanbin. His heart still sped up every time he recalled Hanbin’s words.

I think you’re wonderful.

Nobody had ever told him that. His heart warmed when he pictured Hanbin’s face, his warm brown eyes, his cheeky smile and the soft cadence of his voice. If Hao had to imagine the ideal alpha, he had to admit that Sung Hanbin was pretty close to it. 

The forced distance between them only made his yearning grow. 

However, the opportunity to speak to Hanbin again arose sooner than he had thought. 

 

The next morning Hao was harshly awoken by his mother. He hadn’t expected her so it took him a few seconds to realize what was happening. The sun still hadn’t fully risen yet and Hao blinked the sleep out of his eyes to make out what his mother was doing. 

She had brought new robes with her - finer than the ones Hao wore for his daily attire, yet nothing compared to the gowns she picked for all the big courting events. For a second Hao’s stomach dropped. Had he forgotten about a ball? 

No, the next ball hadn’t even been announced yet. Then why was his mother here so early in the day, taking charge of his appearance?

“Get up and take a bath,” she instructed him when she noticed that he had gotten out of bed. “Don’t use scented oils.”

Hao nodded, sleep-drunkenly wandering to his bathroom. 

 

Had his mother forgotten about their argument? Was she trying to doll Hao up for another suitor? Hadn’t Hao made it clear to her that his mind was set?

He sunk into the bathtub with clouds brewing in his head. 

His clothes were laid out for him when he got out of the water and Hao quickly got dressed. His mother waited impatiently when he returned to his rooms. As soon as she saw him, she began pulling and tugging at the fabric hanging from his body.

By now awake, Hao’s brain urged him to inquire further about his current situation.

“Mother, what are you doing here?” He asked her.

His mother was pouting in concentration as she fidgeted with the belt around his waist. 

“I’m your chaperone,” she told him. “And your mother. Am I not allowed to see my son?”

His mother had always been good at not answering his questions. Her evading him usually was a sign for Hao to stop asking - but he was done doing so. 

“You know what I mean,” he insisted. “We have not been to the courtyard this week. Are we returning?”

Hao had planned to read up on inheritance laws again today in the library. Spending the day sitting in court and drinking tea while silently smiling at alphas he didn’t want felt like a waste. 

“Yes,” his mother confirmed. “I thought some things through. I think it’s time we accept an offer.”

Hao’s face paled. Accept an offer? Committing to someone? So far, his mother had cleverly avoided doing so - what had made her change her mind? Had she found a perfect candidate? Someone who met all her criteria?

“I told you that there is only one person in my mind,” Hao reminded her.

His mother gave him a look. Finally satisfied with his appearance, she stepped away from him. 

“Perfect,” she smiled to herself. “I’ll get dressed and then we leave. Wait here.”

 

Just like that, she was gone, again not answering his questions. It made Hao sigh with frustration. Should he just run away? She would never find him in his father’s study. 

Then again, Hao at least wanted to be there when his mother decided over his future. Maybe he could prevent it. While accepting a courting offer was a commitment, it was nothing that was irreversible. Neither was it impossible to accept multiple offers. 

Despite his mother being set on committing to one person, Hao wouldn’t just stand by and watch. He was done staying silent in front of his mother. 

When she finally returned, he was about to start another discussion - but his mother didn’t give him the opportunity. With strength he didn’t know she possessed, she pulled him out of his room. 

“Where are we going?” He asked, trying to keep up with her fast pace. 

“You’ll see,” she said, inscrutable as always. 

 

They left the scholar’s quarters, passed through the gardens and entered another wing. 

The orange-golden tinted windows let Hao know that they were in the noble quarters - a part of the castle he seldomly wandered. Actually, the only time he had been here had been on accident his very first night back, when he had run into Hanbin in nothing but his nightgown. 

The memory made him blush. Had Hanbin found him wonderful back then as well? Surely not. 

They took another corner and finally stopped at a door. It was swung open, so Hao couldn’t read the sign to see who it belonged to. It led into a spacious office. 

His mother cleared her throat and knocked loudly against the wood of the doorframe. 

Hao stepped around her, wanting to see who was sitting inside. 

His heartbeat stopped. 

Sung Hanbin was sitting behind a desk, leaning over mountains of scrolls and maps depicting their trading routes. The guard, Jiwoong, was standing behind him with a bored expression. Next to him, Matthew was sitting on the banister, a duster laying abandoned next to him. 

Their eyes met first - a mischievous twinkle lighting Matthew’s dark pupils as he nudged Hanbin in his back. 

Hanbin looked up, jumping to his feet when he saw who was paying his office a visit. 

“Lord Sung,” his mother greeted him, politely lowering her head. “A word, please?”

In the wink of an eye Hanbin had crossed the room, eyes stuck on Hao, who felt his cheeks heat up. 

“Of course,” he said, bowing his head, despite being of higher standing than both of them. “How can I help you?”

“I’ve received your courting offer for my only son, Zhang Hao,” his mother got straight to business. “We’ll be having tea in the courtyard. I expect to see you there to discuss your offer.”

Hanbin’s eyes widened, before his expression became determined. 

“I will meet you there,” he agreed right away.

His mother nodded, inclining her head swiftly, before turning around and leaving. 

Hao was stuck in place. He met Hanbin’s eyes, who gave him a shy smile, which only made his mind even more fuzzy. 

“Hao!” His mother called for him, giving him an expectant look. 

He tore his gaze away from Hanbin. It was a wonder his legs were working as he walked down the hall to meet his mother.

 

His thoughts were running a mile-a-minute as they made their way to the royal courtyard. As always, there were many other omegas with their chaperones, waiting to speak with their suitors. As always, as soon as Hao entered the courtyard, everyone stopped for a second to look at him. 

He still wasn’t used to all the attention, far more accustomed to hiding in forgotten corners of the library.

His mother picked a table in a far corner, allowing them a little sense of privacy. Usually, she picked a table right in the center - unlike Hao she found the attention to be a good thing. Then again, she was not who people were really paying attention to, so maybe she couldn’t relate to the feeling of being scrutinized. 

Hao’s knees were weak as he sat down in his chair. His hands were shaking as he poured them some of the prepared tea. 

His mother did something else that was pretty unusual for her. She scooted closer to him, face ridden of its mask of untouchableness and reached for his hand. 

“Are you happy?” She asked him, voice unusually soft. 

“I- I-” he stuttered. “Why?”

Ever since his mother had announced to him they’d be accepting an offer today, fear had been rising in him. Fear that he had to entertain the thought mating of anyone but Hanbin. So finding out that his mother had actually listened to him - it had shocked him. Shocked him that she had picked Hanbin as well.

“I told you, I thought some things through,” she answered him, vague as ever. 

“But the will…the inheritance-”

“Is important,” she interrupted him. “And I will not go easy on him. Hao, you understand that I can’t approve as long as I’m not sure about him, right? My life, as well as yours, depends on this.”

Hao inhaled a shaky breath. He had wished for his mother to consider Hanbin - he had not thought she would do it this fast. Maybe she did listen to him more than he had previously thought. 

He did understand that it was not only his own life determined by who he would mate. His mother’s livelihood also depended on the will and its heir. It meant a lot to him that she was finally willing to include him in this decision. 

“In the end, we need to find you a good mate. A good person,” she said, squeezing his hand. “That’s important.”

“Hanbin is a good person,” Hao confirmed quickly, remembering all the kindness Hanbin had shown him since their return. 

“Mhh, we’ll see,” his mother hummed. “He certainly is bold.”

Hao wasn’t quite sure what she meant - but he didn’t get to ask as someone else had entered the courtyard, attracting everyone’s attention. 

Sung Hanbin was walking through the courtyard with one purpose in mind, it seemed. His eyes were fixated at the table in the very end, so much so he didn’t even notice the whispers following his steps.

Hao watched him come closer mesmerized. His heartbeat was picking up speed. 

This felt like the beginning of something.

“Lady Zhang,” Hanbin greeted his mother first, lowering his head. Then he smiled at him. “Hao.” 

His cheeks lifted on their own, returning his smile nervously. 

“May I sit?” Hanbin asked, pointing to the empty seat left at their table. 

“Please do,” his mother allowed him and Hanbin did as told. He kept smiling at Hao, whose stomach kept tingling. 

His mother leaned back in her chair, pulling something out of her small handbag. It was the letter Hanbin had given him - Hao recognized the Sung sigil. The courting offer he had never ended up reading. He wondered what Hanbin had written. 

His curiosity was answered right away. His mother opened the letter, looking down at it, before looking back at Hanbin. 

“Anything,” she read. “That’s your offer.”

At first, Hao was confused, but when his mother put the letter down on the table, he could see what had been written. 

It was really just one word. Anything . 

As far as Hao knew, alphas wrote down their intentions in these letters, what they could offer to an omega - riches, standing, protection, love. Mostly empty promises, as Hao had recently found out, since he wasn’t really allowed to own any of these things in the first place. 

But Hanbin hadn’t promised him any of that. Hanbin was literally offering him anything . Hao felt himself blush. 

“I’ve read quite a few of these offers lately,” his mother continued. “Really compelling offers. Some even wrote great poetry. But yours truly was unique.”

Hanbin didn’t look intimidated by his mother’s proclamation. 

“I’m not as good with words as Hao.” He told her. He turned to look at Hao. “But I did want to let you know that I would give anything to make you happy. I hope you didn’t mind my boldness.”

Hao shook his head. The offer was very Hanbin-like. It felt unreal that it was addressed to him.

“Those are strong words for someone you’ve known for a short time,” his mother said. 

“I’ve known Hao my whole life,” Hanbin countered easily. “I’m sure of my feelings.”

His mother nodded in consideration. “I just need to make sure your words aren’t meaningless.”

“I promise, they are not,” Hanbin said confidently. 

His mother gave him a long look. Hao’s heart was pounding in his chest. He knew his mother was trying to figure out Sung Hanbin.

“Hanbin, your family is involved in the trade, right?” His mother started her questioning. “Both your parents have noble ancestors, right?”

Luckily, Hanbin didn’t look too put off by the change of topic. “That is correct. My family is in charge of organizing treaties and building new trading routes across our kingdom.”

“That means your family must be of great wealth,” his mother concluded. 

Hanbin took a moment to answer, as if trying to figure out what his mother’s intention behind this statement could be. “Hao will want for nothing.”

“Will he be allowed to work?” His mother kept going. 

This time, Hanbin frowned. Hao frowned, too, not having expected that particular question. 

“I will not strip Hao of any freedoms. He can do whatever he likes,” Hanbin said without any reason for doubt in the sincerity of his words. 

Hao hadn’t known he needed permission to do whatever he liked. What an odd question?

“How about access to money?” His mother pried. Hao shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Hanbin’s forehead creased. “I will not deny Hao of anything”

His mother regarded Hanbin with a long look. Hao knew that look - she was trying to spot signs of untruth. 

After a long moment, she relaxed her posture. She looked pleased. “I remember you, Lord Sung. Not all parents value their children to get educated.”

 “My parents knew how important a thorough education is,” Hanbin said. He smiled at Hao. “Though I doubt I will ever be smarter than you.”

Hao’s heart fluttered. Compliments came so easy for Hanbin, it seemed. He would probably never grow used to them. 

His mother sighed. “I will accept your offer, Lord Sung. But I do hope you hold your words.”

Hanbin’s smile got even brighter. He turned to look at Hao. 

“And you? Do you accept my offer?” He asked. 

Hao had not been prepared for that question. In his head, it had always been his mother who had the final word. In hindsight, that didn’t seem fair. This was his courtship. Shouldn’t he get to decide? 

He exhaled shakily. “I do.”

Hanbin beamed at him. His trembling hands betrayed him when he pulled out a small leather pouch. At least Hao wasn’t the only one being nervous. Carefully, Hanbin pulled it open, letting a delicate golden bracelet slide out. 

Hao’s breath hitched. Right, he had almost forgotten about that. All courted omegas wore courtship bracelets, to signal that they had already accepted an offer. He had spotted a few of them in passing already - some omegas even wearing three or four of them.

Hao, however, would be more than happy with just this one.

Hanbin waited for Hao to give him his arm, tenderly engulfing his wrist with his fingers once he did. Hanbin’s courting bracelet was very beautiful, nothing too shiny, but brilliant nonetheless. There was a small pendant, Hanbin’s name engraved in it, confirming the courtship with his own name. Hao couldn’t stop his smile once Hanbin fastened it. 

Now it was really official. Hanbin was courting him. 

His mother had watched their exchange carefully and Hao blushed a little when he noticed her knowing gaze. 

“You can see Hao without me chaperoning from now on,” his mother said. “But I do advise you to behave properly. Otherwise I will not hesitate to overthink your offer.”

Hanbin nodded, eagerly. “I will not betray your trust.” He smiled at Hao. “Thank you for accepting my offer.”

Hao felt like he should be the one thanking Hanbin. Anybody could be lucky to be courted by someone as kind as him. 

His mother cleared her throat and rose to her feet. 

“I’ll be leaving now. There is much to plan and think about,” she told them. She nodded her head towards Hanbin. “Let’s talk again, soon, Lord Sung.”

Hanbin lowered his head again. Hao noticed that Hanbin lowered his head regardless of the person standing opposite of him - as if everyone deserved the same amount of respect in his eyes. Naturally, Hao felt his heart grow even fonder.

 

Once his mother was out of sight, Hanbin slumped over the table, tension seeping out of his body. Hao couldn’t help but laugh. 

“I think that was the most nerve-wrecking thing I’ve ever done,” he muttered, head pressed against the table.

A nervous flutter spread in Hao’s stomach. There was such a stark contrast between the Hanbin claiming he would give Hao anything and the one right now - and he found both equally enchanting. He found Hanbin adorable.

“You did very well,” Hao let him know. His mother was not any easy woman to please, and an even harder woman to fool. Hanbin must’ve truly struck her as a trustworthy person. 

“I’ve been walking past this courtyard every day, waiting to see you sitting here so I could approach you again,” Hanbin told him. “But you were gone all week. I wasn’t prepared.”

So Hanbin had been wanting to see him again as well. Hao wasn’t the only one craving his presence. 

“My mother likes to do things on her own accord,” Hao let him know. “You never know her next move. Even I didn’t know we would see you today.”

Hanbin’s head perked up. “You didn’t know?”

Hao shook his head. Hanbin pursed his lips. “I asked her to consider your offer. I wasn’t sure she would.” He smiled coyly at Hanbin. “I’m very glad she did.”

Hanbin’s face lit up, blindingly so. “Me too.” 

They smiled at each other, sharing this moment of happiness. 

A few people started looking in their direction, exchanging whispers behind lifted hands. As always, Hao didn’t understand the interest in him. Hanbin noticed his discomfort. 

“Would you like to go on a stroll?” Hanbin asked him. He pointed towards Hao’s bracelet. “Now that we are officially allowed to go without a chaperone?”

Hao was more than happy to agree. “Yes. Let’s leave. Fast.”

Hanbin chuckled, standing up first. He held his arm out for Hao.

At first, Hao was a bit reluctant to take it - wouldn’t it only make people whisper more? Then he looked at Hanbin and all worries vaporized. Why should he deny himself happiness?

 

Hanbin led him out of the courtyard with his head held high and a smirk on his face. For the first time, Hao understood what a difference confidence could make. 

They made their way out of the castle halls and into the Queen’s gardens, the place where the most beautiful flowers bloomed. Luckily, it was big enough for them to get away from curious eyes.

They spend their time spotting the spring flowers - Hao remembered most of their names and Hanbin was an eager listener whenever Hao would drift off talking about what made that particular flower special. 

“Roses are my favorite,” Hao let him in as they passed the rose garden. None of them were blooming yet but Hao knew once summer came it would look magnificent.

“Why?” Hanbin asked him, sounding genuinely curious. It made Hao’s heart beat faster. 

“My father used to study them. Before he turned to philosophy,” Hao said. “He drew them a lot. I think he saw my mother in them.”

It felt a little weird, talking about his parents like this. It made his heart feel heavy. He had never really spoken about them like this to anyone. 

“I can see that,” Hanbin hummed. “Beautiful, but dangerous.”

Hao couldn’t help but giggle. “I was thinking the same thing.”

Hanbin’s gaze on him was incredibly soft. It made him flustered.

“You’d be a dandelion,” Hanbin disclosed. 

“A dandelion?” Hao tilted his head. That choice seemed unusual. Most people would probably picture him as a rose as well because of his scent. “Aren’t they the most fragile?”

“They might look fragile,” Hanbin agreed. “But they bloom brightly. And they spread their seeds widely. They can grow anywhere. In a way, that makes them the most powerful.”

Hao’s heart skipped a beat. Was that really how Hanbin saw him? Hao didn’t feel particularly powerful these days - but somehow Hanbin believing in him made him gain some strength.

He thought to himself for a moment.

“You’d be a tree,” Hao said.

Hanbin raised a playful eyebrow. “A tree? Why? My scent?”

Hao thought back to his father’s grave. The tall trees giving it protection, giving him silent solace, always being there standing strong.

He curled his lips teasingly. “It’s a secret.”

Hanbin’s mouth dropped open in protest, making Hao laugh.

 

They kept wandering through the gardens for an eternity.

Only when a particularly cold wind made Hao shiver did they stop. The sun stood notably lower on the sky than it had when they started their stroll. How much time had passed? Hao had hardly noticed, being together with Hanbin always made time run by faster. 

“I’m sorry,” Hao apologized. “I’ve been keeping you for too long. You must have work to finish.”

Hanbin blinked in surprise. “Nothing that I can’t finish tomorrow. I’d rather be with you.”

Despite the cold breeze, Hao felt the heat shoot up his cheeks. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to get you into trouble,” Hao said. For some reason, Hanbin never seemed particularly keen to get back to his work. To Hao, it seemed, he held not much passion for it. But he didn’t want to assume.

This time, Hanbin grinned a bit sheepishly. “There might be a letter I need to send within the day.”

Hao couldn’t help but laugh - then another gust of wind made his teeth chatter. Not a moment passed and Hanbin had taken off his overcoat, gently placing it over his shoulders. 

Hao gave him a bewildered look. His face flushed. Lending someone a coat could be just that - but in this context, it meant a little more. It was almost like scenting, only not as intimate. At least to the courting guides his mother had made him study. 

But no, Hanbin couldn’t have meant it that way! Surely, not. It was simply a functional gesture, because Hanbin was too kind for his own good.

“You looked cold,” Hanbin explained his action a bit meekly. 

Hao pouted. “But now you’re gonna be cold!” 

Hanbin shook his head with a grin. “I’m warm all the time. See!”

To prove his point, he reached for Hao’s hand, intertwining their fingers. His fingers were indeed warm, skin feeling soft, fitting perfectly into Hao’s. Hao felt his own skin tingle pleasantly.

He swallowed. Did Hanbin even understand what these little gestures did to him? How much he made his heart flutter?

“Well, let’s get inside quickly at least,” he insisted, giving Hanbin a pointed look. “You have a letter to write.”

Hanbin chuckled. “Let me walk you to your room, then.”

He didn’t let go of Hao’s hand as he pulled him along. Hao tightened his own grip.

 

Hanbin led them back towards the castle with ease. Only when they passed the first courtiers did he let go of Hao’s hand, instead offering him his arm. It was a less intimate, more proper form of physical contact between a courting couple - Hao understood that, and yet he already missed the soft weight of Hanbin’s hand in his own. 

“Do you have any plans for the remaining afternoon?” Hanbin asked him as they made their way into the scholar’s quarters. 

Hao knew he had had plans in the morning on how to spend the day - somehow he had forgotten all about them. 

“I might read a little,” he shrugged. 

“Did you read anything interesting lately?” Hanbin asked him, always interested in hearing his thoughts. Hao still found that weird at times - he wasn’t used to people valuing his opinion. He wasn’t his father, he wasn’t a great thinker. 

“Mhh,” Hao hummed in agreement, thinking about all the political and juristic scriptures he had read in the past week. “I’m learning many new things.”

“Tell me about them some time,” Hanbin said. “I’d love to hear your thoughts.”

Hao couldn’t help but feel all warm inside. He wouldn’t say he was keen on all the attention he was receiving. Attention from Hanbin, however, he didn’t mind too much. It was nice being seen by someone.

“I will,” he promised and Hanbin’s smile widened. 

They had reached his door by now. This was where Hanbin should bid him goodbye, yet he made no move of doing so. Instead, he lingered in his doorframe, eyes resting on Hao’s face. Hao wished he knew what Hanbin was thinking at the moment. The look in his eyes was too adoring to be directed at him. 

“I’m so happy,” Hanbin broke the silence. “When I first heard the rumors of you returning, I didn’t believe them. And then you just fell into my arms.”

Fell was probably the right word, Hao reckoned, remembering that night with embarrassment. Stumbling would probably be more accurate.

“You must’ve been surprised,” Hao muttered, tearing his gaze away to look at the ground instead. “I looked like a mess.”

“You looked beautiful,” Hanbin said, making Hao’s head snap up. 

The blush on his cheeks felt hot. 

“I didn’t,” he said the first words that came to his mind.

Hanbin didn’t let himself be deterred. 

“You always do. Always did. And always will,” he repeated. There was a light dust of pink settling on his cheeks as well now. “Sometimes, I feel like I waited for you my whole life.”

Hao’s heart beat wildly. Flustered, he turned his head away. Lost for words, he didn’t know what to say to Hanbin. It must mean something that his heart was fluttering like a thousand butterflies right now?

Hanbin wasn’t done yet. He took a step closer, making Hao face him again.

“I promise I’ll do my best to court you,” he told him. “So thank you for giving me a chance.”

“I’m..ehm-”

It felt like the world was upside-down. Shouldn’t Hao be thanking Hanbin? He was the one with the good standing and the perfect reputation, meanwhile Hao had nothing but himself to offer. He was just Hao. He wasn’t anything special.

However, the look in Hanbin’s eyes was way too sincere to be anything but the truth. He must’ve really meant it. Just like he had meant everything else he had said. 

Hanbin had promised him anything. He must’ve meant that, too. 

“D-didn’t you have work left to do?” Hao asked, eager to change topics. His heart could take no more of this, otherwise it might beat right through his ribcage. 

Hanbin’s eyes twinkled with amusement, lips curling into another smile. 

“I’ll leave then,” he said, finally stepping back. “I’ll see you soon.”

Hao simply nodded, watching as Hanbin turned around and walked down the hallway. There was a skip in his step that made Hao smile to himself. 

It was like a flower had bloomed.

Notes:

thanks for reading!! :3

yes, hanbin totally did a little victory dance before joining hao and his mom in the courtyard.

hehe let me know what you think!! all your theories last chapter were so interesting, many of you already had the right idea, but i think this chapter really shone light on some things hehehe

i hope you all have a lovely day!! stay safe and healthy <3

Chapter 10: Bluebells

Summary:

bluebells. symbolizing gratitude, constancy, new beginnings, renewal, truth

Notes:

heyho i feel like there were many new people joining us last week, so a very lovely welcome from my side!! :D
a little bit of this and that today, enjoy :3

If there was one thing Hao missed about the isolation and secludedness of the cottage it was that people - for the most part - minded their own business and let you alone. There were no rumors, at least not any exciting ones. The most exciting news in his year living in the cottage had been someone stealing eggs from one of the farmers - only for it to turn out to be his own children taking the eggs to surprise him with pancakes. 

There was a sort of peaceful quiet in the cottage. Nothing ever happened. Nothing ever changed.

That, for certain, was not the truth for living in the castle. People forced to live in close proximity to each other, as Hao had quickly figured out, loved to talk. And they talked about everyone and anything - no matter if they had any actual knowledge on the topic at hand or not. 

So, when he overheard some whispers that had him as the protagonist, he probably shouldn’t have been too surprised. Hadn’t Taerae and Matthew told him that he had been central to most of the gossip happening ever since his arrival? Now, he had only witnessed it with his own ears.

Still, it greatly flustered him whenever he heard his name whispered in passing - because usually the words that followed his own name was the name Sung Hanbin. 

Hao tried not to listen too much to the actual content of the whispers, but it made him anxious nonetheless. Were people seeing just how outrageous it was that someone as noble as Sung Hanbin was courting someone as simple as him? Were their thoughts spiked with disapproval? Did they pity Hao for believing Hanbin had an actual interest in him?

Hao didn’t want to know. In the end, it didn’t matter what other people thought. It only counted what Hanbin thought. 

And Hao knew the truth about Hanbin’s thoughts. Hanbin found him wonderful . He had told him so. And he believed Hanbin’s words a hundred times more than that of any bored servant trying to pass time with meaningless gossip. 

 

There was, however, one servant whose gossip he could not escape. 

Seok Matthew hadn’t even waited two days before cornering him. 

It was early noon when Matthew finally found him in his rooms, where Hao had been reading over some of his notes. 

Hao had somewhat expected that. After all, Matthew had been there when his mother and him had shown up in Hanbin’s office unannounced, practically demanding Hanbin to the courtyard. 

What he hadn’t expected was Taerae strolling into his room right behind him. 

“So?” Matthew asked, stemming his hands in his hips and cocking an eyebrow at him. “Do you have anything to tell us?”

Trapped in his own room, Hao had nowhere to escape from this interrogation. Slowly, he packed his notes away.

Instead of using words, he sheepishly pushed the sleeves of his shirt up, revealing the bracelet Hanbin had gifted him with his name engraved. 

Taerae gasped while Matthew started clapping excitedly. 

“I told you so!” Matthew exclaimed towards Taerae, bouncing on his feet. 

“Is that-?” Taerae asked for confirmation. “A courting bracelet? Is it really official?”

Hao nodded shyly. 

Taerae smirked. “Wow. I guess congratulations are in order then.”

Hao blushed a fierce red. “It is way too early for that.”

While they were now officially courting, there was still a lot of time until the end of the year. Only then could they get mated to each other, sealed with the bite - if Hanbin still wanted him by then. 

Taerae gave him a fond smile. “You like him, don’t you? You like Hanbin.”

Hao supposed there was no use to lying to them. “My heart does this…weird thing whenever he smiles at me. Like it’s trying to jump out of my chest.”

Matthew jumped on his feet giddily. “Finally!” He said. “You have no idea how badly Hanbin was pining for you!”

“I- erm…-” Hao cleared his throat, flustered. Matthew was probably overly exaggerating things.  

“You know, Hanbin has never courted an omega before. He’s been eligible for many years now,” Taerae told him, only adding to the heat that was flashing Hao’s face. “Many omegas tried to entice him. But he never reciprocated any efforts.”

“R-really?” Hao asked in disbelief. Hanbin was a popular choice - he’s heard many people swoon for him. It was hard to believe Hanbin had never courted anyone else. Had Hanbin really not had any interest in anyone else?

“He’s been quite busy taking over more duties for his family,” Taerae hummed. 

“You mean he was busy being all proper and boring?” Matthew scoffed. “I’m glad Hao came to coax him out of his shell a little! It was time someone brought some spice to his bland life!”

“Does Hanbin know you talk about him behind his back like this?” Taerae scolded his friend. Matthew only stuck out his tongue at him. 

“Matthew,” Hao remembered something all of a sudden. He walked across his room. Hanbin had left his overcoat with him yesterday and it had hung over his closet door since then. “Can you return this to him for me?”

At first Matthew looked confused, but then he recognized the item in Hao’s hands. 

“He gave you his coat?” Matthew asked him with a smug grin. 

The implication was clear behind the question. Of course, Matthew probably understood even better than him what the gesture of lending someone your coat symbolized.

“It was cold,” Hao tried to set things straight, because Hanbin surely hadn’t meant it that way! It had been a practical gesture, that was all. And now Hao needed to return the coat to him.

Matthew’s grin grew even wider. “Mhh,” he rubbed his chin teasingly. “If I remember correctly, you have no power to give orders to a servant.”

Hao gaped at him. 

“I suppose you have to return it to him personally. I’m sure Hanbin won’t mind any visitors to his office,” Matthew concluded mischievously. 

“You-!”

“Duty is calling!” Matthew intercepted before Hao could argue any further. “See you!”

He slipped swiftly out of Hao’s door. 

Next to him, Taerae was chuckling. Hao huffed in frustration.

“Are you feeling alright?” Taerae asked him when Hao kept opening and closing his mouth. 

“I…don’t know,” Hao disclosed honestly. He looked down at his wrist, playing with the delicate golden bracelet. “I still can’t believe this is real.”

“I know this all must be much for you,” Taerae said with compassion. “Not only all the castle and courting stuff. But also everything we’ve found out about your father,” he said. “And now Hanbin and your feelings.”

Hearing it spoken out loud like that, Hao realized just how much his life had turned upside down in the past months. Nothing was the same anymore. 

“But,” Taerae said, taking his hand with the bracelet. “You can’t forget to enjoy it. This is a happy thing. You are allowed to be happy about it. No matter everything else. It’s overwhelming, sure, but don’t forget to enjoy it.”

Hao let the advice sink in for a moment. He decided Taerae was right. There were many things occupying his thoughts lately. But he was only young once. This was happening and it was happening to him. And it made him happy. Hanbin made him happy. That was one thing he was sure of.

“Thank you,” Hao told his friends, squeezing his hand. 

“I’ll always have your back,” Taerae playfully nudged him in his shoulder. “But Sung Hanbin is one of the good ones. I think you can trust him.”

Hao smiled at his lap. “I think so, too.”

“So, enjoy it!” Taerae told him once more. “And don’t hide it.”

Hao nodded, really trying to take Taerae’s words to heart. “I’ll try.”

“Good,” Taerae said. “I have choir rehearsal now. Do you want to come along to listen? I think you could use some music.”

Somehow, Taerae always had the best advice. “I’d love to.”

Being courted by Sung Hanbin…was a dream. Hao didn’t know how he did it, but every morning he woke up to a new bouquet of flowers placed in front of his door. Spring had just started, so there weren’t many flowers in bloom yet. It must be so much effort to find fresh ones every day. Hao’s heart swelled with fondness every morning when he saw them. 

On the day the next ball of the courting season was announced, there was even a small package delivered with a lovely bouquet of Bluebells. Attached was a small letter asking Hao to wear whatever was inside it to the said ball. 

It was a fragile silver circlet. Hao let it glide through his fingers carefully. Small blue jewels were let into it. Hao wasn’t quite sure how he was supposed to wear it - it was too big to be worn around his wrist as a bracelet but too narrow to fit around his neck like a necklace - but he was sure his mother would figure it out.

She had been working on his next gown before the ball had even been announced. So when the Queen had let everyone know about the date of the next courting event, she had already been prepared. For the first time, and to celebrate the start of spring and the temperatures slowly rising, the ball would take place outside - in the Queen’s gardens. Hao was quite excited about it. Many servants were already preparing the marquee –  just in case the weather would be against them. 

A ball underneath the starlight sounded magical. He would take Taerae’s advice to heart and just enjoy it to the fullest. 

 

With all the preparations going on, Hao had found more opportunities to slip underneath his mother’s radar again. Since she wasn’t forcing him to the courtyard to be approached by alphas anymore, he had a lot more freetime on his hands. Most of it he had spent in the library and in his father’s study, reading up on inheritance rights and laws. 

His father’s will - excluding the page four that his mother carried safely with her - was stored in his nightstand drawer. Since their first reading, Hao had returned to it multiple times. It shocked him every time he saw the signature and the date at the bottom of it. These might’ve been the last words his father had ever written. It always managed to make a shiver travel down his spine.

Yet, his last real project remained hidden. The mysterious scripture he had bestowed especially to Hao was nowhere to be found. And with no clue what its topic could even be, Hao did not even know where to start looking for it. It had to be something controversial if Taerae’s theory was right and it indeed had been the reason for his father’s accident. In his desperation, he had combed through the library again and again. He focused his search on all the philosophical scriptures about health and wealth, since that had been his father’s main thesis, but so far he had found nothing. 

Hao doubted that the mysterious scripture would’ve been stored in the library in the first place. At the same time, he didn’t want to believe that it was truly lost. After they had found page four of the will so easily, he couldn’t stop hoping that the scripture would somehow reveal itself, too. If only he knew where to start looking for it.

 

The time flew by and the next dance was only a couple of days away. The weather had been mild the past few days, making everyone expectant for a beautiful ball outside. 

There was another upside to drowning himself in research - it distracted him greatly from his fluttering nerves. 

Besides the flowers, Hanbin had regularly sought him out for strolls around the different gardens of the castle. Those were Hao’s favorite moments of his day. No matter how much time they spend with each other, they never ran out of things to speak about.

Despite everything tormenting inside him, being and talking with Hanbin made a sense of calmness settle in Hao. Like as long as he was with Hanbin, there was nothing to worry about. As always, their conversations flowed easily and Hao found himself laughing more with him than he remembered doing in the past ten years. 

When he was with Hanbin, even the whispers were drowned out. 

 

Although they were often spending time together, Hao still hadn’t managed to return Hanbin’s coat to him. After bringing it up to Matthew, he had again and again forgotten about it. Perhaps, subconsciously, a part of him liked having the coat close as well. It still emitted a faint forest scent where it hung at his closet door. It helped him fall asleep whenever his thoughts got too loud, now that he couldn’t wander on his own anymore

Admittedly, it also made him a bit shy. Lending someone a coat - or any piece of clothing really - was considered an intimate thing. Hao hadn’t worn the coat around, he didn’t dare to, but many omegas did. 

Apart from the bracelets, it was the most obvious way of showing that you were being spoken for in a sort of way. It was the step that came before scenting your significant other - something only couples in the advanced stages of their courting did because of its intimacy.

Hanbin hadn’t meant it in that way, though, Hao needed to remind himself. It had simply been an act of kindness, wanting to shield Hao from the cold. He shouldn’t read too much into it. 

Yet, just acknowledging it was flustering him greatly. Hence why he hadn’t returned it yet.

Knowing, however, that with every day passing it would only get more embarrassing to give it back, Hao finally made the decision that it was time to bring the coat back to its rightful owner. 

 

Most days, Hanbin sought him out in the afternoon, asking if Hao could spare some time for him - which he always could. Today, Hao couldn’t wait that long. Otherwise his courage would leave him again - and he would end up begging Matthew to just do him this favour one way or another, too embarrassed to do it himself. 

Besides, in the afternoon there were a lot more people around, doing it just like them and taking walks through nature now that the temperature was warming up. Hao wanted as much privacy for this as he could get. 

So, after allowing himself one more sniff of the pleasant scent lingering on the collar of it, he carefully wrapped the coat in a linen bag. This way, nobody could see that he was returning clothing to an alpha that was courting him. 

 

Every time Hao made his way over to the noble quarters, he felt like an intruder. While the blue tinted windows in the noble quarters were familiar to him, the orange and golden hues of the noble quarters were making him nervous. He kept his head low, hoping not to run into anyone who could question his presence where he clearly didn’t belong. 

Apart from that one time his mother had dragged him to Hanbin’s office, he had never been there before. It took him a little while to locate it, but when he finally found the door with Hanbin’s name plaque attached to it, a relieved sigh left him. Unsure, he leaned his head against the door, trying to listen if anyone was inside. He didn’t want to interrupt any important business Hanbin might be handling at the moment.

He couldn’t pick up any voices. Taking that as a good sign, Hao raised his fist to knock against the wood. With bated breath he waited a few nerve-wrecking seconds. Maybe Hanbin wasn’t working there after all? He knew that Hanbin traveled sometimes to check up on their trade routes, gone for most hours of the day. 

However, the door swung open for him only a moment later. It was the Sung guard, Kim Jiwoong, receiving him. Jiwoong’s initially surprised expression changed into an amused smile as he recognized Hao.

Flustered, Hao cleared his throat. “Excuse me,” he lowered his head. Jiwoong was a guard, technically he didn’t need to bow to him, but he still did to show his respect. “I was looking for Hanbin. Is he here?”

“He just went to get us some tea,” Jiwoong let him know, stepping aside and opening the door wider. “He will be back soon. Do you want to wait for him inside?”

Hao looked left and right. Nobody but them was currently in the hallway, but anyone could be coming any moment. Even for a courting couple, it wasn’t really considered proper to meet up in enclosed spaces. 

It was a bit laughable, Hao thought, as Hanbin and him had met up alone outside of courting season plenty of times and nobody would’ve batted an eyelash back then. Sometimes all the different rules around courting season in the castle seemed a bit ridiculous to him.

He checked the hallway again, but there was still nobody in sight. Jiwoong had acted as their chaperone before, so Hao doubted he would raise any issues about Hao stepping into Hanbin’s office like this. He supposed it would be much less awkward waiting inside the office than outside of it. 

“Thank you,” he said, taking the invitation and letting Jiwoong close the door behind him.

“Of course,” Jiwoong said, taking a seat on the windowsill as Hao sat down on the bench placed in the far right corner of the room that looked designated for visitors. 

They stayed silent for a while. Hao stole a glance at Jiwoong. Until now, they had never really spoken to each other privately. Every now and again, Hanbin had mentioned the guard, just like he mentioned Matthew. He seemed to be a person very involved in Hanbin’s life. That fact alone made Hao curious about him. 

Hao swallowed. He wasn’t used to being the one breaking the silence. He wasn’t used to talking much in general, except for when he was with Hanbin or his friends. Maybe they had rubbed off on him. 

“Have you been working for the Sung family for a long time?” Hao raised his voice, addressing Jiwoong who had been looking out of the window mindlessly. 

His head turned around now, looking at Hao with interest. 

“Technically, I work for the castle, not for the Sung family per se,” Jiwoong told him. “But noble families with enough wealth like the Sung family can request to be assigned personal guards.”

“Oh,” Hao breathed, a bit embarrassed about his lack of knowledge. Being not of noble heritage, his own family never had to be bothered with all this castle specific hierarchy hiring process. “So how long have you been assigned then?”

“Ever since Hanbin presented,” Jiwoong told him. “Initially, his parents mainly wanted me to train him a little, so he’d know how to defend himself, but then they decided it would be best for me to stick around long term.”

“You must’ve been a guard for a long time then,” Hao concluded. “For you to train him so young. You aren’t much older than I am.”

“Practically my entire life,” Jiwoong indulged him with further information. “My mother died when I was three and my father barely had means to support us both back then. He enrolled me into the guard so I’d be taken care of.”

Hao’s mouth formed a round shape. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “You were so young.”

Jiwoong smiled. “It was the best option. Now my father is working as a farmer in a nearby town and I can support him with the additional compensation I get from serving the Sung family.”

Jiwoong didn’t seem torn up about his past at all. Still, Hao thought it was a tragic story. A parent having to give their only child away because they couldn’t afford to raise it on their own - it broke his heart just hearing it. At least the Sung family seemed to have taken good care of Jiwoong. 

“The Sung family seems really nice,” Hao spoke his thoughts out loud. From what he heard from Matthew and now Jiwoong, they treated their employees very kindly. Hanbin also only ever spoke highly of his parents. Hao himself couldn’t remember a lot of them, but they must’ve met some time in his past when he had still been a child. 

“I owe them a lot,” Jiwoong nodded in agreement. “They care a lot about their people.”

“And they have raised Hanbin really well,” Hao added thoughtlessly what had been on his mind. 

Jiwoong’s stoic features turned into a smirk. He had eased up a lot since the beginning of their conversation and looked a lot friendlier than when he had opened the door for him. 

“So I’ve heard,” he spoke teasingly. “He seems to be treating you like a real gentleman.”

Hao felt himself flush a little at the comment. It was the truth. Hanbin had been raised well, treating everyone, including Hao, with nothing but kindness and grace. 

 

Just then the door to Hanbin’s office was knocked open once more and the owner himself stepped inside, his hands carrying a tray of tea.

“I swear Matthew hides the tea somewhere different every day just to annoy me,” he said as he entered the room, closing the door with his foot. He hadn’t noticed Hao yet. “I could only find the peppermint so you’ll have to deal with it.”

Jiwoong snorted. “You can give my cup away then,” he said, nodding his head in Hao’s direction. 

“Hao!” Hanbin’s eyes widened and the tray in his hands wavered a little before he quickly placed it down on his desk.

Hao quickly rose to his feet, lowering his head. “Sorry, I didn’t tell you I’d come by. Jiwoong let me inside, I hope that’s fine.”

“Of course!” Hanbin beamed at him. “What are you doing here?”

Hao nervously glanced at Jiwoong. The guard got the cue. 

He grinned as he got up from his place on the windowsill. 

“I’ll wait outside then,” he said. “Time to stretch my legs a little.”

Hanbin dismissed him absentmindedly, pulling out a chair for Hao so he could take a seat at his desk. The door fell shut behind Jiwoong and they were alone. 

A nervous tingle traveled down Hao’s spine. Hanbin busied himself with filling two cups with the boiling hot tea, placing one down in front of Hao before taking the seat behind his desk. 

“I hope you like peppermint,” Hanbin said sheepishly. “Matthew is busy tending to my parents and with preparations for the ball. I couldn’t find any other herbs down in our kitchen.”

“Peppermint is perfect,” Hao told him, lifting the cup to his lips and taking a small sip. The hot beverage coated his tongue, the taste strong but pleasant. 

Hanbin watched him before drinking from his one cup. “So,” he put his tea down, repeating his question from before. “What are you doing here?”

Hao looked down to the bag in his lap. His cheeks colored. 

“I’ve been wanting to return your coat to you. I kept forgetting,” he said, coyly sliding the bag across the table. 

Hanbin’s eyes widened a little as he opened the bag and found his own overcoat inside.

“Oh,” he breathed.

“Thank you again,” Hao said quickly. “Sorry I took so long to return it.”

“It’s fine.” Hanbin looked quite flustered himself now. “I mean…you could’ve kept it. I wouldn’t have minded.”

Hao gaze flickered up. “K-kept it?”

Hanbin nodded, biting down on his lip. “Yeah,” he confirmed. “I mean, it’s still pretty cold outside. And you freeze easily. It’s important to stay warm so you don’t get sick.”

Hao’s heart beat wildly in his chest. Was Hanbin implying that…

“You want me to wear it?” He needed to ask.

Hanbin spluttered. “I’m not  saying you have to!” He said and Hao’s heart sank a little. “Just…you can. If you want to. That’s why I gave it to you. It’s yours. To wear. To not wear. Whatever you like. I just wanted you to have it.”

“Oh,” Hao muttered, feeling a hot flash spreading through his body. 

Hanbin looked at him full of intent. Then he slowly pushed the bag back towards him. His eyes didn’t waver this time. “Keep it.”

This time, there was no mistaking it. 

Quickly, Hao took the bag back. Somehow, there was a weird satisfaction spreading deep inside of him. Hanbin wanted him to have his coat. His heart fluttered. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers. “Sorry, I don’t want to keep you for long. I know you are working.”

“No!” Hanbin immediately exclaimed when Hao was about to rise to his feet to leave. 

Hao hesitated. Hanbin cleared his throat, blushing sheepishly. 

“Stay for a while,” Hanbin asked him. “You haven’t finished your tea yet.”

Hao looked down at his half filled cup. He supposed that was the truth. It would be a waste not to finish it. While he felt a bit bad about interrupting Hanbin’s work unannounced and didn’t want to be a bother to him, he remembered Taerae’s words. He was allowed to enjoy this. 

Besides, so far, Hao had caught an inkling that Hanbin wasn’t all that passionate about his work.

Hanbin had asked him to stay. If Hao was burdening him in any way, he wouldn’t have done that. 

“Okay,” he agreed, settling back down in his chair and wrapping his fingers around the warm cup. 

Hanbin beamed at him, cheeks crinkling like whiskers. Simply for that smile it was worth it to overcome his own self-doubts.

“So,” Hanbin said, leaning back in chair, eyes not leaving Hao for a single second. “What have you been reading lately? Anything interesting?”

Hanbin often asked him about what he was reading lately. Luckily, in between his own research about testaments, Hao still found the time to slip in one or two other more compelling scriptures that he could tell him about. 

If he disclosed just how many records about inheritance hearings he had read, he was sure Hanbin would find him weird. Then he would have to explain himself and everything about the will of his father - and while sooner or later, Hanbin would have to find out about page four anyway, enclosing the rest of it to him could be dangerous. And the last thing he wanted was for Hanbin to get into danger just because he had gotten involved with Hao. 

Some days, Hao still felt guilty for even just telling Taerae and Matthew about it. They had kept a low profile, but should anyone even get so much as a suspicion of what they had been talking about behind closed doors, it could get ugly for all of them. 

After all, Hao couldn’t imagine accusing someone of murder over ten years later without concrete proof or even someone to accuse would do any of their reputation any good. 

Deep furrows formed on his forehead. Sometimes, he wasn’t sure if digging deeper into this was really worth it. Now that he started, he couldn’t stop - but he felt like he was at a dead end all the same. His father’s last project was gone and with it any lead they could have and what had truly happened that one fateful night of his death. 

Hanbin must’ve read the concerns off of his face. 

“Hey, is something wrong?” He asked, leaning over the desk so they were closer now. His hands were hovering close to Hao’s, emitting silent comfort. 

Hao sighed. While he couldn’t tell Hanbin the full truth, at least not yet, he trusted him enough to open up a little.

“My mind’s just…rushing lately. It’s hard to focus sometimes. I feel like I’m thinking too much and too little all at once.”

Hanbin’s face looked worried. “About something you read?”

Hao shook his head. “More about something I want to read but can’t find.”

It must sound very cryptic to Hanbin.

Hanbin frowned. “I’m not sure I follow.”

Hao smiled, quickly shaking his head. “It’s not important. I’ve been searching for a scripture but I can’t seem to find it. That’s all.”

“Well, what’s it about?” Hanbin asked him.

“I don’t know,” Hao answered honestly. 

Hanbin raised his eyebrows, surprised. “You’re looking for a scripture and you don’t even know what it’s about?”

Had he said too much? This must seem weird to Hanbin after all. 

“Forget it. It’s silly,” he quickly said, hoping to sweep the topic under the rug.

“If it makes you worry, it’s not silly,” Hanbin insisted warmly. He let his pinky finger trace across the back of Hao’s hands. 

A pleasant tingle shot up through Hao’s arm, reaching all the way to his heart. 

“You know, whenever I look for something that I can’t find,” Hanbin said. “Most of the time it shows up in the place I’ve started looking in the first place. More times than not, the place you’ve been looking for is very obvious once you find it.”

Hao considered those words for a moment. The place he first started looking. The most obvious place. 

Where could that be? Where would his father store his scriptures?

The only place that came to mind was his father’s study. But he had combed through the shelves there countless times and found nothing. 

However, maybe Hanbin had a point. It couldn’t hurt to give the place another look. 

“You’re right,” he said, this time giving Hanbin a genuine smile. 

Hanbin returned it brightly. By now their hands were fully intertwined. Hao looked at them with a coy smile. 

There was an urgent knock interrupting the moment. Hao quickly pulled his hands away into his own lap.

Jiwoong stuck his head inside.

“Hey, sorry to cut this short, but your father is on his way to speak to you about something,” Jiwoong let them know. 

“Right,” Hanbin said, standing up from his chair. “Thanks.”

Jiwoong nodded, holding the door open. 

That must be his cue to leave then. 

“Thanks for your time,” Hao said, standing up and clutching the bag with the coat to his chest. 

“Always,” Hanbin said, walking him to the door. “And good luck with your search.”

“Thanks,” Hao repeated with a smile. 

“I’ll see you soon,” Hanbin said, raising his pinky finger. “Promise.”

The promise made Hao’s heart skip giddily, their pinkies intertwining swiftly. 

For now, he had prolonged this visit long enough. He bowed to Jiwoong and Hanbin before moving down the hallway.

 

At first, he had wanted to return to his own rooms to safely put away Hanbin’s coat - but his feet decided differently. Once he reached the scholar’s quarters he passed right by the floor with all the bedrooms and instead took the stairs down to where the scholar’s offices were located. 

He didn’t know what it was, but somehow he was feeling confident that he would be successful in his search today. Maybe his conversation with Hanbin had filled him with new hope. 

Luckily, he was always carrying the key to his father’s study with him. These days, it was his most prized possession - it gave him entrance to a secret sanctuary within these castle walls. 

Cautiously he checked if anyone was around, but when the air was clear he let himself inside. To be safe, he locked the door shut behind him. 

The only people who even knew he had access to this room were Hanbin, Taerae, Matthew and he wanted it to stay this way. Especially with how things had developed, it would be good if people didn’t think he was snooping around in his father’s old belongings. It would only raise questions and Hao had not yet any answers to them. 

He hoped to find some of them today. 

Placing the bag with Hanbin’s coat aside for now, he let his gaze drift across the study. 

It wasn’t a big room, roughly around the size of Hanbin’s office - there was one window behind the desk and the remaining walls were covered with shelves. Hao had gone through those shelves more times than he could count. Nothing had been in there. 

He sighed in frustration. This might be the most obvious place for any scriptures of his father to be, but that didn’t make finding them any easier. However, what Hanbin had said remained true. If the lost project of his father still existed, it had to be in this room. Somehow he had no doubt about that any more. 

Hao sat down behind the desk and closed his eyes. His father had left this project for him. He had known his life was in danger - perhaps because of said project. Yet he still had wanted Hao to find it. 

If this project was so important and so dangerous, he must’ve hidden it somewhere only Hao could find it. 

He tried to remember. Had there ever been a time his father had told him about a secret spot? A hidden drawer? 

It hit him like lightning.

He jumped to his feet. A memory had crossed his mind with such sudden intensity it made him shiver. 

He had been young. Seven or eight years maybe. He had visited his father in his study - he couldn’t remember why anymore. He could remember jumping around his desk, excited about something new he had learnt, perhaps, or upset about an argument he’s lost. 

It was not important. Important was that his father had kindly asked him to not put so much pressure on the floor tiles, because they held secrets that shouldn't be unveiled yet. 

Hao hadn’t understood what his father had meant back then, simply thinking it had been one of those thighs adults say to get their children to calm down. 

Now the words struck him as odd. A floor held no secrets. 

Maybe this was nothing, but maybe…

He tried jumping on the spot and immediately found himself silly. What was he even doing?

No matter how stupid he felt, this was his only lead. So, he kept jumping around the room, waiting for something to happen. 

Of course, nothing happened. 

He was about to give up, but once he reached a certain spot a little left to the desk, something felt a little off. 

The floor feathered his jump differently here. Almost as if the space underneath was hollow. 

His heart stopped beating. Was he imagining this? 

Just to make sure, he jumped again, but there was no doubt. Something was underneath him. 

He knelt down. The floor was covered in wooden tiles. Hao knocked against the plank he had just jumped above. It sounded different as well. 

He let his fingers run around its edges. Indeed, it was a little loose!

He looked around the room, spotting a ruler on his father’s desk. Perfect. 

He grabbed it, inserting it in the furrow. He angled to 45 degrees and there – The plank lifted!

He managed to get his fingers underneath the plank and pushed it aside. It was roughly one meter long and half was wide and underneath it a small pit was let into the stone-ground of the castle. 

Hao’s heart was beating loudly. His fingers were trembling as he reached into the pit. 

Covered in dust and dirt a bundle of scriptures came to light. With utmost caution he lifted it in the air. It had been lying underneath the ground for over ten years and it was obvious that nobody had touched it since. 

Hao blew the dust covering the title page away, carefully removing the rest with his hands. 

His heart skipped a beat. 

This was his father’s handwriting. Dated roughly a year before his death. His hands were trembling as he took in the first page. The drawing of a rose covered most of it. Underneath, only three words were written. 

The Rose Project.

Notes:

thanks for reading!!

a little bit of this and that, jiwoong's background story, haobin fluff and a little plot reveal at the end :D
what could the rose project be about? hihi have a guess in the comments if you want to, i love hearing everyone's theories, sometimes i think they are smarter than what i came up with lol

anyway, have a nice day and happy easter!! :3
stay safe and healthy :)

Chapter 11: Geraniums

Summary:

gernaniums. meaning happy events and romantic love; but also foolishness

Notes:

hehe it's a long one, i really hope you like it :3

Darkness had fallen over the castle. Anxiously, Hao kept wandering up and down his father’s study. Only a single candle provided light in the room. Yet, Hao still felt like it was too bright. 

His mind was spinning. 

It had only been a few hours since he had first discovered his father’s last scripture. Since then his thought spiral had started. 

The first rush of adrenaline and joy of finally finding it had quickly turned into fear and doubt. If everything he had believed was true, he might be holding the reason for his father’s death in his hands. In a sudden flash of anxiety he had wondered if he was holding the reason of his own death in his hands just as well. 

Overcome with panic, Hao’s body had moved on its own. Within seconds the scripture was back in its place underneath the earth. The study had looked just as it had minutes earlier. Back when Hao hadn’t known what lay underneath it. 

Nobody but him knew there was a secret to this room. Nobody but him could uncover it. 

He could simply pretend he hadn’t found it, move on with his life as if nothing had ever happened. He could turn his back to it right now, never come back, never think about this again. He could just focus on the courting season, on Hanbin and all the happiness that would await him should he just walk away from all this. 

He had almost made up his mind, ready to leave the study, when something held him back.

He couldn’t. 

He exhaled. 

What was he doing? Hadn’t he searched for this for weeks now? Hadn’t this been what he wanted? 

He couldn’t let fear rule him. Flowers only bloom with courage.

He remained unmoving for a long time, trying to decide on what to do. 

Then he remembered his father’s will. And all the inheritance rulings he had read ever since. 

He was not allowed to inherit any of his father’s riches or property. A scripture was of no value, though, not in front of the law. 

So, as unfair as it might seem, that scripture was the only thing he really owned from his father. 

The realization hit him. 

That scripture belonged to him now. It was his. Truly his.

His father had wanted him to have it. 

And now it was his. 

Hao breathed in. Breathed out. 

Flowers only bloom with courage. 

Now was not the time to be frightened. Now was the time to be brave. Just like his father taught him. 

 He knew, either way, he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he had found out the full truth. 

With newfound determination, Hao went for the door. 

He was going to do this, but he certainly wasn’t going to do it alone. 

 

Which brought him back to his father’s study hours later. It had been much harder than he had expected to track down Matthew and Taerae. Both of them had been particularly busy today with the next ball just around the corner. This couldn’t wait, however, not for anything. 

When both of his friends had seen the desperation in Hao’s eyes, they had not hesitated to agree to meet him at midnight in his father’s study right that night.

Hao had sneaked out of his own bedroom an hour too early, too anxious to sleep anyway. Now he was waiting for his friends to arrive. He had already lifted the secret wooden plank off of the floor again and gotten out the bundle of scriptures. It still felt bizarre, holding his father’s last words in his own hands. They were placed right in the middle of the desk, lit ominously by the candlelight. 

Hao’s hands were itching. Just what could his father have written to make him a target? 

Or maybe they had been wrong all along? Maybe The Rose Project was simply a harmless project of his father, returning to his early roots of botanical science.

But then why would he hide it? 

No. Hao was sure whatever was written in those scriptures…it was not about plants or gardening.

He startled badly when there was a soft knock on the door. His gaze flew to the small clock on his father’s desk. It was indeed midnight already. 

With a beating heart he went to open the door. Matthew and Taerae were each carrying their own lamps, quickly rushing inside the study hulled by the darkness of the night.

Once the door was closed and locked again, Hao turned around. The tension must’ve been written all over his face, because Matthew and Taerae eyed him warily. 

“So?” Matthew broke the silence first. “What is so important that it can’t wait until tomorrow morning?”

Hao took a deep breath. 

“I found it.”

“Found what?” Matthew frowned. 

Hao went around the desk, pointing to the dusty scripture.

“My father’s last project. The one he bequeathed for me,” Hao told him. “I found it.”

There was no holding anymore as Taerae and Matthew surged over to the desk. Their eyes were wide as they took in what Hao had found just hours before. His father’s handwriting, the rose drawing - it was lost no longer. 

“The Rose Project,” Taerae read the title out loud, before looking up at Hao curiously. “What is it?”

“I’m not sure,” Hao replied honestly. “But I don’t think it’s about roses.”

“You haven’t read it yet?” Taerae asked him. 

“I’ve only found it this morning. I…panicked,” Hao admitted truthfully. 

“Well, at least we don’t have to worry about a cool codename anymore,” Matthew grinned excitedly. “The Rose Project. Sounds pretty awesome.”

Hao exhaled deeply. 

“I know we’ve been in this together so far and I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me to get here. But whatever is written in there, once we know it, we can’t unknow it,” Hao told them sincerely. “It might be dangerous to know.”

“So? We’ve come this far,” Matthew shrugged. “We can’t give up now!”

“I just…want you to be sure. You can turn away right now. Not get involved. Stay safe,” Hao said, not wanting them to feel obligated to him in any way. “Just…you have a choice. This is my father. Those are my scriptures. I need to do this for me and my family. But if you only go this far, I understand.”

Taerae sighed, smiling softly. “Hao, trust us, we both know what this could mean. But we’re not gonna let you deal with this alone.”

“Taerae’s right,” Matthew nodded in confirmation. “We understand the risks.”

A deep sense of gratitude settled in Hao’s heart. He knew it was selfish of him to involve his friends in this, but at the same time, he needed them for this as he couldn’t do it on his own. Otherwise, he wouldn’t know how he would survive this - because whatever this was, it was not going to be easy. 

“I-” he choked up a little, overcome with emotion. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Taerae said with a kind smile, rubbing his back comfortingly. 

“So, can we finally open this now?” Matthew whined impatiently. “I’m dying with curiosity!”

Taerae glared at Matthew for his crude speech, but Hao couldn’t help his mouth twitching at Matthew’s choice of words. 

Carefully, Hao untied the rope that was holding the bundle of scriptures together. There were six different pieces of work tied together, all titled The Rose Project. 

Hao took the first one for himself, letting Taerae and Matthew take whatever part they wanted. 

He gulped. His hands were surprisingly calm as he flipped the first page open. 

 

I’ve dedicated my life’s work to fight for justice. I believe in a world where everybody has the right to fulfill their dreams. Everybody. 

Unfortunately, my fight is not over. As I discovered in my scripture “A distribution of wealth and health” there is an apparent divide of health in between wealthy families and poor families. 

However, that was far from the only thing I discovered in my research. Over the years, I came to notice a much more prominent divide, one that is so unjust that I can no longer be silent about it.

There is not only a divide of health, there is a divide of wealth. In this kingdom, not everybody can be wealthy. 

Namely, anybody who is not an alpha, can and will never be truly wealthy. 

In this scripture, I bring forward arguments about the systematic discrimination against omegas, how their chances are constantly diminished, not only by people, but also by laws. 

It is my hope that by the time you finish reading this scripture, we can walk towards a future in which everyone is treated equally and possesses the same rights. Because justice is the basis of every free society and without justice we cannot have freedom. 

 

His father’s words were as sharp and unafraid as always. It was unmistakable his distinct voice speaking from these pages. And there were pages and pages upon arguments he seemed to have brought forward. 

Arguments against the injustice omegas were facing in their kingdom - lawfully so. Hao remembered all the inheritance rulings he had read lately, deeming them utterly unfair. His father had known about them, too. Otherwise he would have not written his testament like he had.

But his father seemed to have known about a lot of other things as well. And he had compiled them all together in one project. 

The Rose Project - just like Matthew had said - was only a codeword. It truly was The Omega Project. 

Hao looked at his friends. Had they also realized what this project was really about?

Matthew was frowning at his part of the scriptures. 

“These are just a bunch of records of court hearings,” he said, skipping through his pages. 

“Inheritance hearings?” Hao suspected, and Matthew nodded his head. 

“Mine is a list of people working for the castle,” Taerae said, skimming over his passage. “Did you know there is not a single omega scholar? Nor an omega royal advisor? No omega general? No omega treasurer? No omega judge or even merchant?”

Hao looked above Taerae’s shoulder. It was indeed a long list of people working for the castle, noble or not, their subgenders written right next to their name. Taerae was right. The only position that was dominated by omegas were those of servants. 

“Hao,” Taerae turned his head towards him, pupils blown wide in realization. “Your father was not only a scholar. He was not only a great thinker. He was a revolutionary. He was a-”

“A troublemaker,” Hao fell into Taerae’s words. 

It was true. He hadn’t read all of his father’s arguments, but he knew they would not be kind towards the people in charge. This was not only about affordable health coverage for their entire kingdom, not about a mainly logistical problem. It couldn’t simply be fixed by building health centers in villages. This was about the distribution of power and how unjust it had been thus far. 

A shiver ran down Hao’s back. Suddenly, he could see how his father might’ve upset the wrong people with this scripture. 

“You know, I’ve never thought about it this much before,” Matthew hummed, putting his parts away. “But we do get treated differently, don’t you think? It’s not always visible but there are times when I think if I were an alpha, I wouldn’t have to deal with so much shit.”

Taerae nodded in agreement. “Like walking around alone at night. We’re not really supposed to do that. But an alpha can go wherever they want whenever they want to.”

“And then when something happens and they disrespect us, we should’ve just known better!” Matthew argued fiercely. 

Hao silently agreed. He still vividly remembered that night after dinner with Taerae’s father, when the unfortunate encounter with Lord Yoon Seulchoo had occurred. How he had blamed himself for maybe sending out the wrong signal, when he had been innocent in the whole act. 

“I think it goes far beyond that,” Hao said, looking over all the parts of the scripture they hadn’t even touched. If his suspicion was right, his father had discovered unjust treatment against omegas on a far larger scale. 

They were all silent for a moment. It was like they had opened Pandora's box. Now that they had seen it, they couldn’t unsee it. 

“So,” Matthew sucked in air through his teeth. “What do we do now?”

“I think we should read it. All of it. All of us,” Hao said, carefully sorting the different pages back to their original order. 

“And then?” Taerae prompted. 

A sudden rush of rebellion came over Hao. Maybe it was his father’s spirits, captured in these very words that had taken over him. 

“Then,” he said with a smile. “We make some trouble.”

It was late when they all slipped into bed that night. They had decided they should leave the project back in its original spot for now. It had been safely hidden there for over a decade, it would probably stay that way for however long they needed to figure out their next steps. 

His father had been throughout with his research, it seemed, so it would probably take them some time to simply get through it all. However, Hao thought it was vital that they all read every word. If they decided to do anything with his work, they all needed to know what exactly his father had been murdered for. And if it was worth fighting for. 

He wasn’t sure if they could even really do anything. All he had wanted to do since Taerae had told him about the rumors surrounding his father’s death, was to bring justice to him. Now, it seemed like he had unveiled a far bigger cause.

If his father, a respected scholar and influential figure in the castle, hadn’t managed to finish this project - what power did they really have?

Despite being very eager to get back to his father’s study and read his entire thesis in one sitting, Hao had to practice some restraint. After all, his discovery didn’t make time stop - and there were still many other things taking place in the castle besides hidden scriptures turning up. 

While he might’ve forgotten about all that for a moment last night, his mother certainly hadn’t. And she was very keen to remind him as she woke him up early the next morning.

“Get up,” she greeted him. “The ball is tomorrow and we have much to prepare you for,” she announced, mercilessly pulling the curtains by his window to the side that had shielded him from the sunlight. 

While Hao felt that their relationship had improved ever since they had that open exchange about the truth behind his father’s will, he still didn’t dare to argue with his mother when she was in her scheming mode. Without a word, he got up and dressed himself. 

In the meantime, his mother had placed different name cards on his desk. Hao recognized them. They were her cards depicting noblemen, she had made him memorize for his introduction. All noble alphas were written on them with names, heritage and occupation.

He noticed that she had placed Sung Hanbin’s card right in the middle. Even just reading his name made his heart do a tiny jump. It felt silly but Hao had no control over it. Enjoy it , he heard Taerae's voice remind himself. 

Curiously, he leaned over his desk. 

“These are all the alphas that we promised a dance at the last ball,” his mother announced her arrangement to him. 

Apprehension rose inside Hao. Was he really supposed to dance with all of them? 

“Then, of course, you will be expected to mainly dance with Lord Sung,” his mother kept explaining. “I’ve managed to organize a dancecard in advance, so we know how many dances there will be in total. I think it would be best to plan which dance you will give to which alpha beforehand.”

Hao sighed as he sat down next to his mother. 

“Do I really have to dance with each one?” He asked with a pout. “We already accepted Hanbin’s courting offer.”

The thought of dancing with Hanbin exhilarated him. All the other alphas…not so much. 

“We made a promise. It wouldn’t be polite to reject them if they approach you,” his mother insisted. Hao kept pouting and his mother’s gaze surprisingly softened a little. “Most of your dances, you can have with Lord Sung. It would only be appropriate to give him most, since he is the only alpha officially permitted to court you.”

It was still a bit of a foreign concept to him, his mother taking his opinion into account. So far, she had held the reins about this entire courting ordeal, but ever since their conversation, she seemed a little more open to take Hao’s feelings into consideration. 

“Thank you,” he smiled at her. It must be hard for her to give up some of her control, so Hao appreciated her effort even more.

His mother gave him a fond smile. Then she cleared her throat. Back to business.

“So, I think we should save all waltzes for Lord Sung. They are the most intimate dances. But I think you can spare your two fox-trots and quick-steps to anyone who might approach you,” she started noting down her idea into the dancecard she had somehow acquired. Usually, those were only handed out at the ball itself to the eligible omegas, but that didn’t seem to be a hindrance to his mother’s scheming. 

Hao hummed in thought. “I don’t want anyone to get the idea that I might reconsider my courtship with Hanbin or accept another offer.”

His mother only grinned. “Trust me, nobody will have any doubt about the commitment to your courtship after the ball.”

The twinkle in her eyes was so cunning, Hao wasn’t brave enough to ask what she had planned for the night. 

She got up to her feet. “That reminds me, I do have a few last things to prepare,” she told him. “In the meantime, Lady Kim has invited you over to her quarters. Apparently, her son Taerae needed to brush up on his dance steps and I asked for you to join him.”

Of course, it was perfectly typical for his mother to sign him up for dance lessons without his knowledge. She was not leaving anything up to chance. 

This time, Hao was grateful for it. He hadn’t danced with anyone since his dance lessons in the castle when he had been a young boy. The last thing he wanted was to embarrass himself in front of the entire court. 

Like a windstorm, his mother swept out of his room. The corners of his mouth twitched. He might have to reevaluate whom he had inherited his tendency to wander around from. These days, it seemed his mother was never staying at one place for long either. 

 

Not wanting to seem rude, Hao only allowed himself a quick bite for breakfast before heading towards the Kim family quarters. He knocked on their door and a servant let him in. Hao lowered his head in greeting as he stepped past her into the big living area. 

It had changed a little since his last time here, probably to accommodate today's undertaking. The big dining table was pushed to the side, leaving an empty space right in the middle of the room. 

“Hao!” 

Hao spun around, slightly startled by his name being called so suddenly. Taerae grinned at him, having joined him in the room. He yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

“Long time no see,” Taerae joked and Hao snorted in amusement. 

It had, in fact, only been a few hours since they had both shared the space of his father's study. Judging by Taerae's tired eyes, he also must've not gotten much sleep afterwards. 

The clapping of hands made Hao startle for a second time. This time, it was Lady Kim who entered the room. Two court musicians with instruments were following here, together with an elderly man.

Taerae let out an audible sigh when he spotted him. 

“Lord Baek has been so gracious to teach you once more this year,” his mother announced. “I expect you to be on your best behavior.” 

Taerae's smile was almost painful. 

“This is Zhang Hao,” Lady Kim introduced him. “He's asked to join today's lesson. Please take care of him.”

Lord Baek stepped closer, a strict smile gracing his features. Quickly, Hao bowed his head. 

“I've heard about you,” he said as Hao straightened his back. “Have you danced before?”

Hao kept his gaze lowered. “Not in a long time.”

Lord Baek nodded. “You'll be excellent company for Taerae then.”

Next to him Taerae exhaled audibly. 

“I'll leave you to it then,” Lady Kim said. “Let my servants know if you need anything. I’ll be in my study.”

She left them alone with Lord Baek and the two musicians, who had set up in a corner of the room. Lord Baek had gone over to them, presumably to discuss what dance they were going to practice first. 

Hao glanced at Taerae. “You don't seem too fond of Lord Baek.”

Taerae snorted. “He's...very strict. Old-school,” he let him know. “And his breath stinks.”

The comment was so crude, Hao hardly suppressed a giggle - but Lord Baek's piercing eyes quickly shut him down. 

Seemed like this would be less fun than he had hoped for. 

 

They started with the basic three-step of the waltz. Lord Baek took turns dancing with them and Hao quickly learned that Taerae's observation of his breath was all too true. Lord Baek's teaching was very practical, leading them through the steps over and over again. Hao's shoulders were hurting from how often he had tensed them, eager to meet Lord Baek's expectations of the perfect posture. 

Lord Baek’s grip felt harsh on his waist and his hands, forcing Hao into the correct rhythm whenever he misstepped. 

Soon, his head was spinning with the continuous counts of 1-2-3 that Lord Baek never tired of and he was glad when it was Taerae's turn to be taught and he could rest for a moment. 

Taerae's basic knowledge of the steps far surpassed his own and his posture seemed immaculate. Still, Lord Baek seemed to be the type of person to never be satisfied. 

“You're as stiff as ever,” he commented as he guided Taerae through the music. “Eyes up, don't look at your feet.”

Taerae grimaced at him over Lord Baek's shoulder. Hao felt pity for him. It seemed like Taerae had endured these strict dancing lessons for years. 

They switched from waltz to foxtrot, to quick-step - soon enough Hao's feet hurt like he had gone on an hour-long hike up the steepest of mountains. Despite being the objectively less practiced dancer between them, Hao wasn't subjected to as much harsh criticism as Taerae. 

Whenever it was Taerae's turn he had to listen to the same comments about his stiff movements and his lack of coordination. It didn't seem fair to Hao, as he could spot no major flaws in Taerae's dancing. 

A sudden thought crossed his mind. If Lord Baek were an omega and not an alpha, he would probably not be allowed to be so harsh on his students. Perhaps, he wouldn't even be allowed to teach at all. The Rose Project was more prevalent in their life than one might suspect. 

The sun was setting outside when Lady Kim finally returned, ending their lesson. She thanked the teacher once more, slipping him a small sack of money. Lord Baek bowed graciously, before leaving. Hao noticed, when it was the musicians turn to be paid, they only received a coin each. Was it a coincidence that both of them were omegas?

Something inside of him stirred in protest. 

Taerae walked over to him, clearly done with the day. He threw an arm around his shoulders as he pulled Hao along towards his room. 

“Come on, I have some leftover breakfast in my room,” Taerae let him know. 

As if on cue, Hao’s stomach rumbled. He didn't need any more convincing. 

 

He took a seat on Taerae's bed, while his friend distributed the bread and fruits onto two plates.

Hao accepted his share gratefully. 

“I'm sorry, Lord Baek was unreasonably hard on you today,” Hao told him, full of compassion for his friend. “I think your dancing is wonderful.”

Taerae smiled through his chewing. “Don't worry about it. He's never liked me. And he was actually quite nice today.”

Hao didn't want to imagine what other comments Taerae had to endure when today's remarks were considered nice.

“Has he been teaching you for a long time?” Hao inquired. 

“Ever since I presented. My mother deemed it essential that I learned some graceful dancing,” Taerae answered him. “My own father couldn't teach me since he has back issues.”

“That's a long time,” Hao muttered. Taerae had probably suffered through many private lessons. 

“Mhh,” Taerae hummed, before shrugging. “Still, so far the only alpha that complained about my dancing has been Lord Baek.”

That made Hao a little curious. “Have you danced with many alphas?”

“A few,” Taerae answered. “It's how I decide whether someone is worth my attention. Unfortunately, most of them can't strike up a simple conversation the moment they get their hands on you.”

Hao shivered. That didn't sound particularly appealing. 

“Luckily, my mother is pretty lenient with me when it comes to rejecting dance invitations,” Taerae said with a cheeky grin. “She knows I will just step on their feet on purpose if I dance with anyone I don't want to.”

Hao laughed. He could imagine that very well, for some reason. 

Taerae's gaze shifted into something a little more mischievous. 

“It must be different though, if you dance with someone you like.”

Immediately, Hao's thoughts drifted to Hanbin. He blushed when Taerae giggled, apparently having guessed where his thoughts went. So far, he had actually been quite excited about getting to dance with Hanbin. 

“I've heard Hanbin is supposed to be an excellent dancer,” Taerae kept teasing him. “So I don't think it will be necessary for you to step on his toes.”

Hao pouted, throwing Taerae a glare. 

“What about you, then?” He tried to distract from the topic of Hanbin and him. “Is there really not anyone you fancy this courting season? You must've gotten a few offers yourself!”

Taerae grinned as he leaned back in his desk chair. 

“A few. But probably not half as many as you,” he chuckled.

“And? Who offered?” Hao ignored the jab. 

Taerae shook his head amused. “How about I'll let you know once someone interesting comes along?”

Hao pouted, but respected the boundary Taerae set. If he wanted to keep his courting business private, Hao could understand. Sometimes, he wished his own courting prospect wasn't the center of attention at court. 

He finished his plate and Taerae offered to bring them down to the kitchen for them. It was probably time for Hao to leave and get some sleep anyway. 

If he was supposed to dance the entire night tomorrow, he needed some proper rest. 

“I'll see you tomorrow, then,” Taerae bid him goodbye as their paths separated on the doorstep. 

“Yes,” Hao nodded. “Sleep well.”

His limbs felt heavy as he finally fell into bed a few minutes later. It seemed like the days were only getting longer and longer, not only because of the changing seasons. 

He wondered what tomorrow would bring. 

 

This night, he slept surprisingly peacefully. When he woke up, he remembered blurry visions of his dreams, the calming scent of pinewood and dark brown eyes. 

His cheeks felt a little hot as he sat up in his bed, still huddled in his sheets. His heart was beating a little faster than normal. He patted his face down, actually feeling the heat there. He shook his head. If he was already like this, what would happen tonight when he was actually meeting Hanbin?

The door to his room was pushed open. 

“Wa- oh. You’re already up,” his mother greeted him. Her arms were full of different kinds of fabrics.

That had to be his gown for tonight. 

“Well, go take a bath. We have to get you ready,” his mother instructed him, already spreading out all the accessories she had brought. 

Seemed like she had planned something elaborate for tonight. 

 

By now familiar with this procedure, Hao retreated into his bathroom, drawing himself a warm bath. He forwent his scented oils - his mother always reminded him of that before the dances. He supposed she wanted his natural scent to be more prominent for all special courting occasions. 

When his skin and hair had been properly washed and cleaned, he got out of the water. He moisturized his body and slipped back into his comfortable sleeping gowns, since it would only be a waste of time to wear anything else when he was probably about to spend hours getting fitted into his festive gowns. 

His mother was fully concentrating on her work when he stepped back into his bedroom. She was sewing and pinning things together, a few needles pressed between her lips. 

“Put these on,” she ordered him, words slurred. She nodded towards the simple pants and shirt placed on his bed. 

Hao approached them carefully. The fabric looked high-quality, as always his mother didn’t spare any costs when it came to clothing. He understood why she had been so adamant that nobody would question the seriousness of his courtship after tonight. 

Both the pants and the shirt were a lovely babyblue color. It was the color the Sung family used for their family crest. It was a declaration of commitment, like he was making himself part of that family by wearing their colors. 

His heartbeat picked up speed. 

Was this not stepping over a line? He hadn’t even met Hanbin’s family! This was a bold move. 

He turned around to his mother. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

His mother had put the needles out of her mouth for now. Her eyes looked determined. 

“You said we can commit to him,” his mother stated. “I’m only letting him know that we take his commitment just as seriously.”

As always, with his mother there were always more layers to a plan. By wearing his colors, Hao would put a certain kind of pressure on Hanbin. Showing his commitment and awaiting commitment in return. His mother knew what she was doing with such a public declaration. 

Hao swallowed. He trusted Hanbin. Surely, he wouldn’t be mad over Hao wearing his colors, right? After all, Hanbin had made his own intentions clear so far and there was no doubt to be had that Hanbin was committed to him. Just…it was a bold move.

“It’s just a color in the end,” his mother reassured him, having spotted his reluctance. “Now get dressed. I have to sew all these onto you.”

It was true. It was just a color. A color with meaning attached to it. 

Not wanting to put his mother’s hard work to waste - and knowing how stubborn she could be - Hao relented. Once he had put on the pants and shirt he was manhandled towards the middle of the room by his mother. 

She had prepared an infinite amount of sparkling sequins, shimmering from tones of silver to tones of light blue. With practiced fingers she carefully began sewing them into his shirt and pants. There was never anything like a simple gown for his mother. 

Hao didn’t know for how long he stood still. They took a lunch break in the middle and afterwards Hao whined so much that his mother allowed him to sit down while she finished her artwork. Lastly, she wrapped a tight sash around his waist, tightening it as much as possible. She pulled something out of a small sack and Hao recognized the jewelry Hanbin had sent with his flowers. 

Apparently, his mother had figured out how to wear it as she motioned for Hao to bend down. With careful fingers, she placed the circlet in his hair until it rested securely on his head. The blue jewels in the headgear matched his shirt perfectly.

His mother took a step back, examining her finished product. 

“This’ll do,” she decided and Hao let out a relieved breath. “Don’t ruin it until tonight.” 

She checked the clock on Hao’s desk. Her eyes widened. 

“Only an hour left! I’ll have to get dressed! I’ll be back soon!” His mother said, gathering all her supplies. “Wait here for me!”

 

This never got any easier, Hao figured as he was once again left alone to wait. Nervously, he stepped in front of the mirror. 

Taerae and Matthew had told him that his mother had excellent taste and always dressed him up like a real prince. While he wanted by no means diminish his mother’s skills, he couldn’t see it. For him, it always looked like he was someone who was not supposed to wear these kinds of clothes - like he was outshone by their beauty. 

Today especially. The blue sequins were sparkling so brightly and the jewelry on his head was so delicate - they deserved to be worn by someone more worthy.

He wondered what people saw when they looked at him. 

Hanbin had told him he found him beautiful. The thought made Hao’s heart flutter. Would he find him beautiful tonight as well? He hoped so.

Hao was always nervous before any kind of big event. In the past, that had mostly been because he had been afraid to be laughed at for even being there. 

Now that he had grasped that for some reason, people in fact didn’t question his sheer existence, he was still nervous. Because that meant they’d be looking at him. So many people would be looking at him tonight. Perceiving him. Judging him. 

And Hanbin would be there. What if he found Hao to be a terrible dancer? What if he didn’t want to dance with Hao at all? 

There were still too many opportunities to totally humiliate himself. Hao felt his chest get a little tighter. With Hanbin officially courting him, there seemed to be something on the line. 

While he didn’t think of Hanbin to be brittle and superficial - what if Hao did something so bad he had no chance but to redraw his courtship offer? After all, Hao was not from the castle, not really. He wasn’t of noble blood. He didn’t know how any of this worked. The possibility of making a mistake was quite huge. 

Would Hanbin see him differently after tonight?

 

A knock on his door made him startle out of his own thought spiral. Before he could walk over and open the door, it was already forced open. 

Matthew sneaked himself inside with a wide grin on his face. He stopped for a moment as he took in Hao’s appearance. 

“Oh, I see,” he commented, corners of his lips quivering upwards teasingly. 

“I-” Hao tried to explain, but there was no excuse. “Too much?” He ended up asking. 

Matthew shook his head. “No. As always, you look fabulous.”

Hao blushed at the outward complement. Matthew was his friend, he wouldn’t lie to him. 

He cleared his throat. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you helping out at the ball again?”

“I am,” Matthew confirmed. “But there are duties that come before those. The Sung family sent me. Or, more like, Sung Hanbin sent me.”

Hao’s heart skipped a beat. “Hanbin?”

Had something happened? Could he not make it? 

“He apologizes for not sending flowers today,” Matthew told him with a cheeky smile. “He hopes this will make up for it.”

Matthew got out a small corsage behind his back made out of blue Geraniums. It was beautiful. 

“He doesn’t have to send me flowers everyday,” Hao muttered breathlessly, accepting the corsage and slipping it on his wrist. 

“Don’t tell me you don’t like it,” Matthew called him out. “Hanbin would be devastated.”

“No, I love it,” Hao quickly said. “He just doesn’t have to go through so much trouble for me.”

Matthew gave him a look of disbelief. “You still don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?” Hao asked cluelessly. 

“Hanbin would never think of you as trouble,” Matthew told him, like it was obvious. 

Hao felt heat flush to his cheeks once more. Sometimes he wondered what knowledge Matthew was privy to, attending the Sung family most days. 

“Does he talk about me?” Hao couldn’t help his curiosity. 

“Too much, if you ask me,” Matthew snorted. “But you do know that everybody is pretty much talking about you these days, right?”

Hao’s stomach sank. “Right.”

“Hey, that’s not a bad thing,” Matthew let him know. “It means you’re important. It means you have power.”

Power? Hao couldn’t really understand why being the center of all gossip gave him power. Then, again, from Matthew’s perspective, who had been a servant all his life, living invisible in the shadows, attention must feel like a power he’d never be privy to. As always, there was more than one point of view to consider. 

The door to his room opened again. His mother had returned, now also dressed up in a simple dress, much less extravagant than Hao’s gown. 

She eyed Matthew with a tad of surprise. 

Matthew lowered his head dutifully. “Just delivered something from the Sung family,” he explained his presence, already heading to the door. 

When his mother turned to him with her eyebrows raised in question, Hao lifted his wrist up. 

“Hanbin sent me a corsage,” he elaborated once Matthew was gone. 

“Oh,” his mother said, walking over and pulling it from his right to his left wrist. “Well, it’s pretty. He does have good taste.”

She stepped back to inspect her work once more. 

“Tell him to stop giving you things to wear, though. I don’t like my vision to be meddled with too much,” she added. 

The urge to laugh overcame Hao, but he suppressed it. He wondered what it would look like if Hanbin and his mother were to discuss fashion choices. Simply the imagination of it felt absurd. 

“I’ll let him know if I get the chance,” Hao relented, lips quivering with amusement. 

His mother nodded all seriously. “Good. Now put on your shoes. We’re leaving.”

 

They arrived in the royal gardens unusually early. For that his mother had always stressed how important it was to show up fashionably late to these events, today she excelled in terms of punctuality. 

Hao understudy why she was so insistent on being on time today of all days. 

Two servants were handing out dancecards at the entrance of the canape. As there was only a limited amount of them, it was first come, first serve. Apparently his mother had not wanted to take chances. 

She practically snatched the dancecard out of the servant’s hands when they passed one to her, before energetically pulling Hao inside. She attached the dancecard to his wrist that was not occupied yet, as was according to tradition.

There weren’t many people inside yet. A decadent buffet was placed on one side, a few tables with stellar white table cloths spread across the canopy. It opened up towards the end, revealing the perfectly pristine lawn.

It was slowly dawning outside and a few lanterns had been installed to light up the outside gardens. The royal orchestra was setting up their instruments underneath the biggest light. 

“Let’s take a walk around the gardens,” his mother suggested, also nervous on her feet. “So it won’t look like we are waiting.”

They rounded the gardens once. The stars and moon had risen over their heads when they returned to the canopy. It had gotten a lot busier, people mingling and conversing with each other. 

It was the first time heads didn’t turn at Hao’s entrance, because nobody had even noticed he was there already. It eased his nerves a little. 

His mother linked their arms, pulling them out of the shadows and more towards where the event was happening. Hao spotted Matthew across the gardens, serving drinks on silver trays. 

If Matthew was already here…Hao subtly tried to scan over the crowd. To his disappointment he could not spot Hanbin yet. 

The orchestra picked up their instruments, the conductor raising his stick to indicate the start of the first piece. A few couples headed towards the designated dance floor. 

That’s when people first noticed him. As always, his mother had strategically picked their spot - everybody who was making their way to dance had to pass by them. 

Hao quickly lowered his eyes when heads turned in his direction. He didn’t want anyone to take his gaze as an invitation to ask him for a dance. 

The sounds of a smooth slow-fox filled the gardens. He started nervously fidgeting with his dancecard. Would people really ask him for a dance? Would Hanbin?

The first people that approached them were, unfortunately not Hanbin, but fortunately not unwanted suitors either. Taerae and his mother had crossed the gardens to meet them. 

Hao was glad for the company as he hoped it would keep any alphas away from him for the time being. 

The two women greeted each other. Taerae winked at him playfully. He was wearing a simple purple shirt, the dancecard also fastened to his wrist. 

Every now and again, Hao allowed himself to let his gaze waver over the heads of people. But his hope was not fulfilled. 

Taerae nudged him in his side, having noticed his restlessness. “I’m sure he’ll be here soon.”

Hao had the decency to blush - apparently his searching was not as subtle as he had hoped. 

Before he could reply anything, Taerae was summoned by his mother. 

“This young gentleman requested a dance with you,” she told him, her tone stern. 

Taerae rolled his eyes, leaning over to whisper, “I promised her I’d dance with at least one person tonight. I’ll be right back.”

Then he put on a huge smile, dimples appearing on his cheeks. He seized the alpha up and down, before handing him his dancecard. They disappeared towards the dancefloor together.

Hao watched them for a little. Taerae’s moves were as fluid as he remembered, having no trouble dancing to the soft tunes. The alpha also seemed to have no complaints about his dancer partner. 

Hao followed Taerae’s movements. Whenever their gazes crossed, Taerae pulled a grimace or stifled a yawn. 

Apparently, the alpha was not up to Taerae’s expectations. Hao giggled behind his hand.

 

He was so caught up in the entertainment of Taerae’s reactions, he didn’t notice the figure that had approached him. When his gaze drifted away from the dancefloor, he startled in fright. 

Yoon Seulchoo was standing a mere few meters away from him, eyes fired up with determination. 

Images of that night flashed through Hao’s mind. How Seulchoo had grabbed him, touched him without his permission, had made him feel so helpless.

He wanted to flee but his legs wouldn’t move. 

Seulchoo moved over their way, standing in front of them before Hao could even react. 

“Miss Zhang,” he said, standing tall in front of his mother. 

Hao had never told her about that night, afraid she would scold him for roaming the castle halls alone at night. He could only watch silently as she lowered her head in respect. 

“Lord Yoon,” she greeted the alpha. “I believe we didn’t have the pleasure yet.”

“I was unable to attend the last ball,” Seulchoo said, wicked eyes flickering towards Hao. If Hao remembered correctly, he hadn’t been at the ball because his nose had been broken. “I’ve heard you made your introductions there.”

“Yes,” his mother pushed him a little to the front. “This is my omega son, Zhang Hao. He’s an omega skilled and trained in various skills. He’s a descendant of the famous merchant and traveller Zhang Xiao.”

His intestines recoiled at the thought of bowing to Seulchoo, but with his mother and Lady Kim watching over him, he could not commit such a disrespect without creating a scene. His mother had worked so hard to keep his good reputation at court, one small act like not bowing properly could tarnish it forever. 

Afraid, he complied and bowed to Seulchoo, who grinned satisfied. 

“Thank you,” Seulchoo said. “I come from the Yoon family line, our blood has been noble for generations. Perhaps you know my father, Yoon Yeochan.”

The name rang a bell in Hao’s brain. For a moment, he didn’t know where he had heard it - but then it appeared in front of his eyes. 

His father’s will. Yoon Yeochan had notarized it. 

Why he hadn’t made the connection between Seulchoo and his father earlier - he didn’t know. His mother had drilled all these pedigrees into his head, but after the incident, Hao had wanted to forget everything he had once learnt about Seulchoo and his apparently very noble family.

If his mother recognized the name as well, she didn’t let it show. 

“It is an honor to make your acquaintance,” she said, smile as professional as always. 

“Your son has caught my attention right at the introduction ceremony,” Seulchoo said. “May I be forward and request a dance?”

Hao suddenly felt nauseous. He had not wanted to dance with any alpha besides Hanbin - but Seulchoo he hadn’t even imagined in his worst nightmares. 

Hao tried to signal his mother with his eyes to make up an excuse - but she didn’t notice his silent cry of protest. She reached for his wrist with the dancecard. 

“The next quickstep is still open,” his mother said, getting out a pen to hand it to Seulchoo. “If that is to your liking?”

“I dance quickstep the best,” Seulchoo smiled, but to Hao it looked more like an evil grimace. 

He watched helplessly as Seulchoo wrote his name into the empty space, claiming the dance with him.

Then he reached out his arm for Hao to take. 

Hao stared at it apprehensively. His mother loudly cleared her throat. 

Hao swallowed bitterly. 

He could do this. It was just one dance. There were people around. Seulchoo couldn’t do anything to him.

Reluctantly he took Seulchoo’s arm, letting himself be guided towards the dancefloor. 

The orchestra had stopped playing temporarily, getting ready for the next piece. Hao hoped it was a short one. 

Hao jerked away when Seulchoo placed a hand on his waist. His chest felt uncomfortably tight when Seulchoo reached for his hand as well and pulled him closer into position. 

“I’m afraid we started off on the wrong foot,” Seulchoo told him when the first notes of the music filled the air. “You might’ve misread my intentions during our last encounter.”

The fear and nausea in his stomach made room for a new emotion. Irritation. Hao inhaled sharply.

“You’ve touched me improperly without my permission,” Hao spoke up, his voice stronger than he had expected. 

Seulchoo’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve barely touched you,” he argued, which was a lie. Hao vividly remembered being pushed up against a tree. “Besides, you’ve been sending me some mixed signals.”

“I’ve done no such thing,” Hao stood his ground. “I’ve told you no and you didn’t respect that.”

Seulchoo sighed annoyed. “Don’t play innocent now. You should be glad I didn’t tell people that you are wandering the halls alone at night. They might get the wrong idea and ruin your reputation.”

Hao felt his heart beat violently. He couldn’t differentiate if it was fear or anger. 

“I was returning to my room after dinner with Kim Taerae and his father,” Hao said. He had not been doing anything improper or forbidden - unlike Seulchoo. “They will attest to that.”

“Still, omegas shouldn’t roam around alone at night,” Seulchoo insisted, the grip on his waist tightening a little as he spun them around. “Especially not omegas like you. It’s no wonder we can get the wrong ideas.”

It was too much. Seulchoo was twisting the truth in a way that made Hao both want to cry and scream. Yet, he knew, he could not get away from Seulchoo without creating a big scene which would inevitably make him look like the difficult and unreasonable one.

“Maybe you should just ask next time before you approach someone,” Hao hissed.

Seulchoo’s expression was more than condescending. 

“Where’s the fun in that? It’s not like you have a choice. Look how easy I could make you dance with me,” he said with an ugly grin. “You know, when my father asked me to keep an eye on you, I was quite delighted. You, Zhang Hao, are exactly to my taste.”

Hao’s first reaction was to shiver in disgust. Then his brain hit the alarm bell. 

“Your father asked you to do this?” He questioned.

Seulchoo smiled sleazily. “He must’ve thought we were a good match.” He leaned closer and Hao tried his best to keep him at distance. “Don’t you want me?”

“I will never want you,” Hao said. He was about to use Taerae’s advice and step on Seulchoo’s feet - when they were interrupted. 

“I’ll take over from here.”

Hao’s head spun around at the sound of the familiar voice. 

Hanbin. Hanbin!

The music died down as the piece ended. Hao quickly pulled away from Seulchoo, no longer required to dance with him. 

“Sung Hanbin,” Seulchoo snarled. “Don’t you have to ask his chaperone first?”

“Unlike you, I got permission to court him,” Hanbin argued back, taking a step in front of Hao. “So I’d appreciate it if you’ll leave us alone for the rest of the night. I told you before to stay away from him, or do you need a reminder?”

Hanbin cracked his knuckles. Seulchoo eyed them warily, apparently not having forgotten what impact they could have.

“Courting has no meaning as long as there is no bite on his neck,” Seulchoo sneered. “You’re not the only alpha that desires him.”

Hanbin’s scent of pinewood flared up. His eyes look furious. 

“Get lost. Right now.”

Seulchoo let out a quiet growl, but when Hanbin didn’t back down, he turned on his heels and stormed off. 

 

Hao’s heart was beating fast, adrenaline rushing through his veins. 

He listened as Hanbin took a few deep breaths. Then he turned around to look at Hao. 

All his previous anger vanished from his eyes, replaced with soft concern. 

“Are you alright?” Hanbin asked him.

Hao felt a bit speechless. 

Another dancing couple bumped into them, the music having started again.

“We should dance,” he blurted out, not wanting to be an unmoving obstacle in the sea of swinging people.

Hanbin’s lips quirked. “Shouldn’t I ask you that?”

An unprompted laugh left Hao. He smiled at Hanbin, holding out his hands. “Please?”

Hanbin’s hands were much gentler than Seulchoo’s had been as they wrapped around his waist and reached for his hand. Carefully, they did their first step together. 

Immediately, he felt like floating. Taerae had been right. Dancing felt different when you did it with someone you liked.

Hanbin was a good dancer. His lead was firm but gentle at the same time. Hao felt like he could simply entrust his body to Hanbin’s rhythm and he’d be safe dancing through the night. It felt more like flying than dancing.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Hanbin reminded him after they found their pace.

Hao, so caught up in the sensation of dancing with Hanbin, blinked confused. “Huh?”

“I asked if you were alright,” Hanbin repeated his question. “Seulchoo…is not good company.”

“I didn’t want to dance with him!” Hao quickly said. “I didn’t expect him to approach me. But he asked my mother for my dancecard and…I couldn’t refuse. I don’t want to dance with anyone but you.”

The words had stumbled out of him before he could control himself. Suddenly feeling incredibly vulnerable, Hao felt the heat flush his cheeks. 

Hanbin’s eyes softened a little in wonder, before shifting into something determined. 

“Where is your dancecard?” He asked. 

Hao lifted the hand that had been resting on Hanbin’s shoulder, the dancecard dangling from his wrist. 

Smoothly, and without interrupting the flow of their dance, Hanbin ripped the dancecard off his wrist and slipped it into his own pocket. 

Hao’s eyes widened. “W-what?”

“I’m claiming all your dances,” Hanbin told him firmly. “You don’t need a dancecard anymore.”

His heart fluttered. Hanbin had been bold before, yet Hao couldn’t help but be surprised each time Hanbin did something like this. 

He ducked his head coyly. “You’re acting rather confident today, aren’t you?”

Hanbin smirked. “You can’t help it if you’re dancing with the most beautiful person in the room.”

“You flatter me,” Hao retorted. 

“It’s the truth,” Hanbin said, letting his gaze travel up and down Hao’s body. “You’re wearing my colors.”

“I…am,” Hao admitted, looking back at Hanbin. “Is that…a problem?”

Hanbin’s gaze didn’t waver. “No. You look perfect.”

Hao couldn’t deal with all the compliments any more. Playfully, he slapped Hanbin across his chest, who only grinned in return. 

“You know, my mother asked me to tell you to stop giving me things to wear,” Hao told him. “She doesn’t like her visions meddled with.”

Hanbin giggled. “I do apologize then,” he said. “Although you look really lovely tonight.”

“Stop it!” Hao scolded him, face burning brighter than ever. 

“You didn’t get complimented often at the cottage, did you?” Hanbin asked him with a teasing smile. “That’s a tragedy,” he added when Hao shook his head. “I’ll have to change that.”

“Well, you’ve done enough for tonight,” Hao said decisively. If Hanbin told him how beautiful he was one more time, he might start to believe him. 

“So I can continue tomorrow?” Hanbin immediately asked.

Hao glared at him.

“Why don’t we talk about you instead?” Hao turned the tables, letting his gaze roam over Hanbin’s attire. 

The alpha was wearing a neat black shirt, the blue Sung crest stitched in his breast pocket. It hugged his biceps tightly and revealed his strong forearms. 

Hanbin’s cheeks turned a delicate shade of pink as he was being perceived. Hao smiled gratuitously. 

“Lord Sung, I have to admit,” Hao leaned in teasingly. “Your appearance tonight is rather dashing.”

Hanbin coughed a little. He carefully guided Hao into a turn, making their bodies separate for a few seconds. When he pulled him back into his arms, they were closer than before.

“You’re playing a dangerous game here,” Hanbin said, the blush still resting high on his cheeks. 

It made Hao feel a strange sense of power. 

Innocently, he shrugged his shoulders. “You’ve started it.”

Hanbin looked a tad bit stunned, before starting to smile. 

“As always, your beauty is not the most notable thing about you,” he said. “Your mind is far more fascinating.”

Hanbin always sounded so convinced, so earnest when he said those things. It made Hao want to believe him. 

So, this time, instead of denying his words or ignoring them and changing the topic, he let himself have this. 

“Thank you,” he said, and Hanbin beamed at him.

They danced for a few more pieces. The music blended together for Hao. It was hard to focus on anything else when Hanbin was holding him so close. He could smell his scent with every breath he took. He wondered if Hanbin could smell him, too, and if he liked his scent just as much. He was too shy to ask, unsure if he could handle an answer to that question just yet. 

 

Weirdly enough, he hadn’t even noticed his feet hurting until Hanbin pulled them aside for a short break. When he had been practicing yesterday with Lord Baek, he had been all too eager to sit down in between the dances, but now he was almost sad to be letting go of Hanbin.

“Do you want a cold beverage?” Hanbin asked him. 

Now that he mentioned it, all the dancing had made Hao quite hot and thirsty. 

He nodded and Hanbin put a hand on the small of his back, leading him towards the canopy. 

Hao wasn’t sure if his mother was approving of how he was spending the night so far - but technically, she had promised him most of his dances with Hanbin. 

“Here,” Hanbin handed him a glass of cold orange juice once they had reached the refreshment table. 

Hao took an eager sip, the cold liquid wonderfully refreshing. Hanbin smiled at him, before nipping on his own glass. 

“How has your day been?” Hanbin asked him, casually leaning against the table. 

By now, Hao should be used to Hanbin’s general interest in him, but the question still delighted him. 

“Nothing special,” he disclosed. “Just getting ready. My mother has a whole routine she puts me through.”

Hanbin laughed. “I can imagine that.”

“What about you?” Hao asked him. 

Hanbin never talked much about his own work, much rather asking Hao about all the books he had read lately. 

“Ah, same old,” Hanbin shrugged it off. “Just corresponding with some of the foreign merchants about the trade.”

Perhaps, Hao was blunt for his next assumption, but with Hanbin he had never been afraid of expressing his opinions. 

“I’m sorry, but you never sound really passionate about your work,” Hao pointed out what had been obvious to him for a while now. “Do you not enjoy it?”

Hanbin gave him a long look, before sighing. 

“It’s good work. It’s my family’s work. Our legacy. Keeping the trade up is important for the prosperity of our kingdom and I’m honored to serve our people,” he said, like the dutiful son and nobleman he was.

“But?” Hao prompted, sensing there was more to it. 

Hanbin cracked a smile. “You are too smart for your own good.” He took another sip of his drink. “Yes, I have to admit, some days I find my work rather draining.”

It was nice hearing Hanbin be so honest with him. It made him feel trusted. A trust he returned. 

“Is there other work you might find more fulfilling?” Hao asked him curiously, always eager to learn more about Hanbin. 

“Don’t laugh at me,” Hanbin told him - Hao would never dare to. “Some days, I dream of teaching.”

“Teaching?”

“Not on the level your father did! I’m not educated enough for that,” Hanbin quickly said. “But I do enjoy learning and I’d like to pass that joy on to the next generation.”

“You want to teach children?” Hao asked him. 

Hanbin grimaced. “You’re making fun of me.”

“No,” Hao shook his head earnestly. “No, I think that is a noble cause. You’d do well.”

He could see it. Hanbin, so kind and gentle, extending that patience to teach the youngest of their kind. 

Hanbin smiled bashfully, before sighing. “Too bad my parents aren’t scholars. Nobody would hire me.”

Hao frowned. It was rare to see Hanbin so discouraged. It was not a sight he liked, especially not about something so unfounded of the truth. 

“Maybe you should try it first before jumping to conclusions,” Hao told him. “Might be better than wasting away doing work you’ll never feel passionate about.”

Hanbin gaped at him. 

“Besides,” Hao leaned over to whisper in Hanbin’s ear. “I believe we make our own legacies.”

It were the words Hanbin had said to him underneath the stars, as they had laid together in the rain, mud seeping through their bones. 

 

Hanbin looked at him stunned. It left a satisfying tingle in Hao’s chest that he could evoke such a reaction in Hanbin. After all, he had been left speechless a few times himself. 

“Zhang Hao?”

He spun around when he heard his name being called. It was Lord Choi, another alpha that had approached him at the last ball a few weeks ago. 

“I’ve asked your mother for a dance with you. She said to go find you for your dancecard,” he told him with a polite smile. 

“Oh-”

“Unfortunately, Zhang Hao’s dances are all already taken,” Hanbin stepped in before Hao could come up with an excuse, hand protectively wrapped around his waist. 

Lord Choi looked perplexed by the news. “Really?”

Hao lowered his head. “I apologize.”

“I-...er-” Lord Choi sounded dumbfounded. “I suppose I should’ve come and asked sooner.”

“I’m sorry,” Hao mumbled, bowing once more. 

Lord Choi stammered a few more befuddled phrases before excusing himself. 

“Let’s go dance,” Hanbin told him, putting both their empty glasses back on the table. “I don’t want anyone else to get any ideas.”

Hao couldn’t help but giggle, letting himself be led back to the dance floor. 

“What kind of ideas?” He asked playfully. 

“For example, that the omega I’m courting might be bored because I refuse to dance with him,” Hanbin replied.

“You know,” Hao smiled when Hanbin’s hands found their way back to his waist. “My mother will probably not be overly thrilled about me refusing everyone else a dance.”

“I’m no longer afraid of her,” Hanbin said, spinning them around with power. “She already gave us her blessing.”

Hao laughed, cheeks flushed with happiness. He let Hanbin pull him close once more.

“Confidence looks much better on you,” he commented. 

Hanbin returned his smile. 

 

Later, much later, after all the music had faded and Hao was laying soundly in his bed, he was still dreaming of that smile. His heart was beating wildly just thinking about it. 

Oh, how much he’d give to see that smile for the rest of his life. 

Notes:

thanks for reading!!

wowowow this story has been getting so much love late, thank you so much for writing me all these lovely comments, you have no idea how much this means to me!! so i just wanted to thank you all again!! :3

so, what did you think of the chapter? personally, it's one of my favorite ones so far :D

everybody, stay safe and healthy :33

Chapter 12: Lavender

Summary:

lavender. symbolizing caution

Notes:

Welcome back :3
It's a long one again, enjoy :)))

Hao was sitting on the banister in his father’s study, back resting against a fluffy cushion and knees pulled up underneath his chin. In one hand he was holding a scorching cup of chamomile tea. The other one was currently flipping through the pages of the much more valuable Rose Project. 

It had taken him three days to entangle all the different scriptures included in the project. It was quite obvious that it was an unfinished work, as his father had not yet gotten around to organizing and summarizing it with the precision he was so known for. 

So, Hao investigated and researched and concluded all on his own. Luckily, he had been trained and taught by his father himself. 

What he found was truly astounding. 

Apart from what he had already suspected on his own, namely that omegas were not allowed to inherit large sums of money or fortune or even expensive property, there was a lot more injustice his father had uncovered.

Inheritance law was a complicated thing, because only because you didn’t legally possess a good, didn’t mean you weren’t allowed access to it. That’s how all the noble and royal omegas were deemed wealthy. In reality, even they were poor. They only possessed all their wealths because the alphas in their families allowed them to. 

It was a concept Hao had to wrap his head around a few times. This meant, even their Queen truly owned none of her fortune, only granted access to it by her mate. 

The only reason why Hao and his mother had access to his father’s money and property was because he had granted them permission to in his will. 

It was an unfair rule, one that was based on an ancient law that his father had dug out. Apparently, it had never undergone modernizing, like many other of their ancient laws had. 

Hao wondered if the fact that all the royal judges were alphas had something to do with that. 

Which led him straight to the second main injustice his father had wanted to make public.

Omegas were not allowed to work in positions of great power. 

At first, that sounded ridiculous. There were many royal and noble omegas, enjoying high respect and positions at court. 

But that was the point. They were not working . Their power only came from a family name. A family name attached to a head alpha, who in turn could be working in a position of power. Omegas only held power because they were associated with powerful alphas, not because they were powerful by themselves. The only leverage they had was their family ties.  

However, despite combing through all his father’s notes twice, Hao did not discover an ancient law that outwardly forbade omegas from working in powerful positions. This made proving this point a lot more difficult - thus why his father had systematically researched who was currently holding all powerful positions at court. The fact that there was not a single omega currently working in one of those had to be proof enough that, at least, there had to be some kind of unwritten rule about it. 

There was, however, a law his father had found regarding an omega’s ability to work. Namely, that they were only allowed to do so with permission from an alpha of their family. 

When he had first stumbled over that law, Hao was suddenly reminded of the conversation his mother had had with Hanbin about his courting proposal. She had asked him whether Hao would be allowed to work should he ever want to. It made Hao think that his mother knew a lot more about The Rose Project than she would probably ever admit. Or at least, she must be aware of the law Hao had just discovered.

For now, Hao deemed it safer not to involve her and question her about what she knew. Despite rekindling their relationship, Hao was pretty sure that she would try her best to keep him away from anything related to his father’s research. It could very much ruin his chances of a successful courtship, after all.

No, Taerae, Matthew and him had sworn themselves to secrecy. Hao would keep that promise.

In the end, he had come to two main conclusions: First, omegas were not allowed to inherit or even own fortune. Second, omegas were not allowed to work to earn a fortune as well. 

It was knowledge he gained with a feeling of deep anger. He had been shielded away in their cottage for years, never realizing just how fragile the circumstances of him and his mother living there had been. His father had dedicated so much of his time and work to gathering all this information and research, only for it to lay underneath the castle grounds for over ten years. 

Yet Hao had been unaware of it all his life, kept in the dark about something so detrimental to his own life.

Hao wondered why no omega had spoken up about this before - but then he had to remind himself what had happened to his father. A well respected scholar, an alpha of wealth and power and influence - pushed to his death. 

A cold shiver traveled down his body. 

Seemed like staying silent wasn’t only much easier, but much safer as well. 

Yet, his father must’ve known about the danger. And he’d done it anyway. He must’ve sensed the risk, otherwise he would have not written his will a day before his death. A mere day.

Suddenly, a surge of urgency fell over Hao. 

He needed to see the place he had avoided at all costs so far. He just needed to.

 

His feet moved on their own. After safely hiding The Rose Project underneath the loose tile again, he slipped out of his father’s study. He locked it twice, making sure nobody had seen him come out of there. 

Then he started rushing down the hallway. 

Soon he had reached the flight of stairs leading up to the eastern tower. Without hesitation he started his ascend. His heart was pumping in his chest, breath growing heavier with exhaustion - but he didn’t stop. 

One step after another he climbed up the tower until he reached the very top. 

A warm breeze greeted him as he stepped out in the open. The only thing that prevented you from falling from here was the banister surrounding the edges of the tower. An open balcony allowed you to step even further outside and take in the view of their kingdom. 

His knees trembled as Hao walked closer to the edge. With shaking hands he held onto the banister, knuckles turning white from his tight grip.

His heart was still pounding in his ears, blood rushing through his veins. 

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, before looking down. The height almost made him dizzy.

This was where it had happened. This was where his father had fallen to his death. He felt a little nauseous, just imagining it. 

That was why he had avoided this spot so far. He had feared he couldn’t stand being here. It was true. Standing at the very same spot his father had taken his last few breaths…he couldn’t bear it.

Quickly, he lifted his gaze away from the ground.

Looking over the scenery, he could envision this spot to be quite peaceful. You could count all the towers of the castle - twelve in total. Beyond the horizon you could imagine the woods, and mountains and oceans - the place the sun would rise from. 

It was silent up here. Lonely, even. 

“Zhang Hao.”

Hao had never startled so badly in his entire life - and he was startled quite easily. 

He clutched a hand to his chest and precautionarily stepped away from the banister.

A middle-aged man had joined him on top of the tower. It took him a few moments to put together who he was - but then an image of his mother’s flashcards crossed his mind. 

This was Lord Yoon Yeochan. The father of Yoon Seulchoo. Also, the man who had notarized his father’s will. 

Hao gulped. 

Lord Yoon grinned. “Judging by your face, I suspect you already know who I am.”

Only now remembering proper court etiquette, Hao lowered his head and bowed to the nobleman. In the meantime his mind was rushing a mile a minute. What was Yoon Yeochan doing here? Had he sought him out? Why would he do so?

He had asked his son, Seulchoo, to keep an eye on him as well. Hao remembered that comment from the dance a few days ago.

Why was he so interested in Hao?

Somehow, Hao didn’t feel like he could trust him. 

“It’s only proper to know all important noblemen by their name and face,” Hao responded to him, forcing himself to smile politely. “Your son has approached me as well.”

Lord Yoon’s grin was inscrutable. “I’ve heard. He can be quite forward in his advances. I hope you can forgive him for any unruly behavior.”

There was a bitter taste in Hao’s mouth. He was unsure how to respond to that. 

Luckily, Lord Yoon didn’t seem to expect any reply from him. He walked up to him, until he reached the banister. With a long sigh, he leaned against it, letting his gaze roam. 

“Quite the view up here, isn’t it?” He said. “I like to come here a lot when I need to think.”

Slowly, Hao turned back around, now also overlooking their kingdom again. 

“It’s really beautiful,” he agreed cautiously. 

It was silent for a moment. There was a tension in the air that Hao couldn’t quite pinpoint the root of. 

“I’ve always admired your father,” Lord Yoon suddenly said, the change of conversation topic giving Hao whiplash. “He was a brave man. Great thinker.”

Hao has heard a lot of people call his father a great thinker before, but none of them had ever sounded so insincere doing so. 

“Some might even say he was too brave.”

Lord Yoon twisted his face to look at him, his gaze dangerous and almost threatening. 

Hao’s heart started hammering again. 

He tried his best to put on a clueless face. He pouted in confusion. “I’m not quite sure what you mean, Sir?”

Yoon Yeochan smiled mysteriously. “People say you’ve inherited your father’s wits. Is that true?”

Hao had to bite on his tongue. You seem to know quite a lot about inheritance , it shot through his head.

“I don’t know about that,” Hao said, looking down at his feet. “I don’t think anyone can ever truly match my father’s wisdom.”

Yoon Yeochan snorted. 

Hao shuffled uncomfortably on his feet. Lord Yoon was making him anxious with his questions and cryptic comments. Did he suspect something? Had he known something? After all, he was the person who had signed off on his father’s will.

The will…if he knew about anything, then it had to be about the will? Did he know they had found it? Unease spread in his chest. 

Lord Yoon continued to look at him with piercing eyes as if trying to drill inside his head. The instinct to flee rose in Hao. He needed to leave. Right now.

He bowed again, deeply this time. 

“I don’t want to disturb you any longer,” Hao said, avoiding the gaze of Lord Yoon. “If I may excuse myself?”

Hao didn’t wait for permission to leave. Swiftly, he turned on his feet and headed towards the stairs. 

 

Both his mind and his heart were rushing as he took two steps at a time.

There was something about Lord Yoon that deeply unsettled him. Maybe it was because his son had acted so inappropriately around Hao that now the bad impression transferred to his father as well - but no. That was not all. Lord Yoon’s questions…they felt so invasive. 

Hao knew that The Rose Project could bring them danger…but he had never quite felt it so close as just now. 

Was he being irrational? Perhaps Lord Yoon had just been trying to make conversation? 

No, it was better to be safe than sorry. 

 

His first idea had been to go and find Matthew. Matthew was the only person who had been inside his father’s vault, the one who had taken the will that was now safely hidden in Hao’s nightstand drawer. 

If Lord Yoon for some reason had been going looking for said will and found it missing…it would explain why he acted so suspiciously. After all, he was the royal inheritance advisor. If one person took track of all the testaments, it had to be him. 

But why would he care so much if Hao was now in possession of the will? Technically, the will belonged to him and his mother…it wasn’t forbidden for them to have it. 

Still, it would be better to return it to its original place. Hence, why he needed to find Matthew. 

Perhaps a bit frantic, Hao hurried down the halls and across the scholar’s courtyard. He was moving so fast he didn’t even catch any of the whispers and looks people were casting upon him. It didn’t matter now. 

Unfortunately, as a servant, Matthew wasn’t particularly easy to track down. Servants were always busy, always using the hidden shortcuts, always everywhere without being seen. However, there was one place Hao suspected Matthew to be most likely. 

 

The door to Hanbin’s office was left ajar. He only noticed how sweaty his hands were when he raised them to knock. His mother would probably scold him if she’d see him now, but Hao simply wiped the sweat on his trousers.

Sung Hanbin appeared only a second later to push the door open. 

Now, Hao wasn’t sure whom he had expected to meet here. He probably should’ve expected Hanbin, it was his office after all. Yet, he was momentarily starstruck when the alpha stood in front of him. 

“Hao?” Hanbin’s initial smile when first seeing him turned into a frown. “Are you alright?”

Hao heard the sound of panting and then realized that it was him who the sound was coming from. He had just run all the way from the eastern tower to Hanbin’s office. He must look like a mess. 

Heat flushed his face. 

“I’m terribly sorry,” he sputtered out. 

His brain must’ve malfunctioned. What had he been thinking coming here? Of course, Sung Hanbin would be here, thinking he had gone insane for showing up out of the blue looking like a madman. 

 “No, don’t-” Hanbin said, opening the door even wider. “What happened?”

“I-...I was actually looking for Matthew,” Hao wanted to decline the invitation to enter. 

“Matthew?” Hanbin asked. “I think my parents sent him to run some errands.”

“Oh,” Hao breathed. “Sorry.”

Hanbin’s gaze deepened with concern. 

“Why don’t you come in?” Hanbin asked him gently. “You don’t look too well.”

“No, I really-”

“Please?” Hanbin intercepted his second refusal. 

His eyes were so soft - how could Hao deny him once more?

He let himself be led inside, waiting for Hanbin to lock the door behind him. 

The tension in his body eased a little now that it was only Hanbin and him. Once he was in Hanbin’s proximity, a sense of safety always took over his body. 

Hanbin motioned for him to take a seat on the bench, joining him there once Hao had settled down. 

“So?” Hanbin asked him. “What did you want from Matthew?”

Hao nervously fiddled with the sleeves of his shirt. 

“Nothing. I just needed to talk to him,” Hao told Hanbin, not wanting any of them to get in trouble because Hao had simply panicked. 

“You can talk to me,” Hanbin offered. “If you want to.”

“I-” Hao hesitated. 

It’s not that he didn’t want to talk to Hanbin. But this was nothing he could talk about without putting Hanbin into immense danger. Besides, Hanbin didn’t know about the will or his father’s vault. 

No. That wasn’t true. 

Hanbin did know about the vault. Hao remembered now. Hanbin had been the one to give Hao the key to his father’s study. 

“My father’s vault,” Hao said, choosing his words very carefully. “You’ve sent Matthew there once. To get the key to my father’s study.”

“How-” Hanbin’s eyes widened, then he shook his head with a fond smile. “Of course. As always, you’re impeccably smart.”

“Do you think someone would notice that the key went missing?” Hao asked him, ignoring the compliment (even though it made his heart skip a beat). 

Hanbin’s brows furrowed. “I don’t know why anyone would be specifically interested in your father’s vault. His office had been left out of use for a decade and so has probably his vault. I doubt anybody would start to care now.”

Somehow, that didn’t calm down Hao in the slightest. Because Hanbin was right. Nobody had cared about the remains of his father for over ten years. Why would Lord Yoon be interested now all of a sudden?

“Has anyone said anything to you? About the key?” Hanbin asked him. 

Right, this must make very little sense to him. But the less he knew, the better. 

“No. No, I was just worried. Matthew might get into trouble for taking a key that didn’t belong to him,” Hao quickly said.

“The key belongs to you,” Hanbin insisted. “And you have it now. I don’t think anyone would disagree with that.”

Hao wasn’t too sure he shared Hanbin’s mindset on this topic. 

“If anyone should get into trouble, it’s me. I ordered Matthew to retrieve the key for you,” Hanbin added. “So if anyone bothers you, send them to me. I’ll sort it out for you.”

That sounded almost too easy. Hao couldn’t help but smile. Hanbin was a good alpha, a good person. He needed to protect him at all cost.

Shyly, he reached for Hanbin’s hand. 

“Thank you,” he said, squeezing his hand a little. “You’ve been so kind to me since I got here.”

He observed how the tip of Hanbin’s ears turned into a pinkish tint. It was endearing. Hanbin usually appeared so confident around him and everyone else. It was nice to see this more vulnerable side of him as well.

“Can I ask you something as well?” Hanbin said, looking all coy now. “You can say no if you don’t want to.”

Hao was so charmed, he couldn’t help but giggle a little. 

“You can ask me anything,” he said, truly meaning it. Hanbin had given him so much, it was the least he could do in return. 

Obviously flustered, Hanbin cleared his throat. “So, my parents have been asking to meet you,” he said. “And I wanted to ask you if you’d have time to join us for dinner in the upcoming days?”

The pounding of his heart got stronger. This day just kept surprising him. 

He hadn’t met Hanbin’s parents in years. Even his memories of them were faint. Why did they want to meet him all of a sudden? Did they want to approve of their son’s choice? 

“You don’t have to!” Hanbin interrupted the growing silence, interpreting his lack of an answer totally wrong. 

“No, I was just surprised,” Hao said, before taking a deep breath, trying to make his voice sound steady for his next words. “I’d love to come.”

“Really?” Hanbin looked so elated that, despite his insecurities, Hao didn’t regret what he had said. 

Hao nodded, an exciting tingle spreading in his chest. 

“Great!” Hanbin smiled. “I’ll arrange a date with them and let you know?”

“Yes,” Hao agreed, trying to swallow his upcoming nerves. What’s the worst that could happen? “Is there anything I need to prepare?”

Hanbin shook his head. “No. It’s just dinner. And my parents aren’t really formal people.”

Hao had gathered so much so far. The reputation of the Sung family was a pretty humble one, known for being kind and calm people. Still, they were noble - which Hao was not. If they wanted to, they could reject him for that very reason. 

“Hey, it’s going to be fine,” Hanbin seemed to sense the worries stirring inside of him. Now it was him reaching for his hands, thumbs grazing over the inside of his wrists. “They just want to meet you.”

Hao looked at their intertwined fingers. Somehow the image made him gain courage. As long as Hanbin held his hand, everything would be fine. 

“I want to meet them as well,” Hao confirmed, meaning it sincerely. He did want to meet them. If they raised a son as wonderful as Hanbin, they had to be exceptional people.

Hanbin beamed at him. Hao liked him best like this - happiness so blatant he couldn’t hide it. 

A knock on the door made him gasp in surprise, quickly pulling his hands out of Hanbin’s grip. Hanbin giggled quietly at his reaction, before clearing his throat and getting up. 

“Come in,” he spoke loudly and the door to his office opened.

It was Jiwoong, sticking his head inside and smiling sheepishly when he spotted Hao sitting in the corner. 

“Am I disturbing?” He asked. 

Hanbin sighed, rolling his eyes playfully. “It’s alright. Have you gotten hold of Lord Min?”

“He said you can meet him in his office in twenty minutes,” Jiwoong told him. 

“Thank you,” Hanbin slightly bowed his head in gratitude. Hao noticed that Hanbin lowered his head quite often, even if his standing didn’t demand it. It was an unusual habit for a nobleman to have. “Will you accompany me?”

“I’m with you as long as you need me,” Jiwoong confirmed easily. 

“Good,” Hanbin nodded. He turned back around to look at Hao. 

Taking this as his cue to leave, Hao stood up as well. 

“Thank you for your time,” he bowed his head. “Sorry again for coming here unannounced.”

“Don’t apologize,” Hanbin demanded. “Never apologize for coming to see me. I like it.”

Hao felt the heat rise to his cheeks again. Jiwoong had the courtesy to turn his head away, pretending to stare outside the window. 

Hanbin’s gaze was so sweet on him, Hao felt his heart melt. Like this, he couldn’t even feel guilty anymore for disrupting Hanbin’s work. 

A swift smile stole itself on his lips. “Then maybe I’ll drop by more often.”

Hanbin smirked. “Maybe you should.”

His heart fluttered with excitement. All the anxiety and nervosity that had driven him here in the first place were forgotten. How could he feel anything else but joy with Hanbin smiling at him like that?

He laughed, bowing his head once more before shuffling out of the room. 

 

All the way to his father’s study there was a skip in his step. Only once he was locked alone in the room did reality catch up to him again. 

He sat down behind his father’s desk. A long sigh left him. His mind was still swirling with images of Hanbin’s smile, occupying his every thought. It would’ve been too easy to give in to the temptation and revel in these feelings of giddiness for the rest of the day. 

He let his head drop against the desk and closed his eyes. 

What had his life become?

He inhaled and exhaled and sat up straight. One thing was for sure. 

He needed a plan. A good one.

It was the middle of the night when Hao was spooked out of his own dreams. 

“Hao!” Someone whispered his name. 

Hao sat up straight, clasping his blanket to his chest and trying to retreat to the corner of his bed in fear. Who had come to see him in the middle of the night?

It took his eyes a little to adjust to the faint glimmer of the single candle flame lighting up the room that the intruder was carrying. 

He squinted his eyes and his vision unblurred a little. 

Relief flooded him when he recognized the intruder. 

“You scared me!” He pouted in accusation. 

Matthew gave him a crooked smile.

“You get scared by everything,” he retorted, which was just simply rude. And a lie. 

He forced his pulse to slow down by sheer willpower. 

“What are you doing in my room in the middle of the night?” He asked him, remembering how Matthew had come to find him like this once before - back when he had retrieved his father’s will. “Did anything happen?”

“I wanted to ask you the same thing,” Matthew returned the question. “I just came back from running my errand. Hanbin told me you wanted to talk to me. Said it sounded urgent.”

Hao had planned on talking to Matthew as soon as possible. For his taste, this conversation could have waited until daytime, however. Well, now that Matthew was here, he might just tell him what had occurred. 

“Does this have anything to do with the Rose Project?” Matthew guessed before Hao could find the right words. “You’ve been reading the scriptures these past days, haven’t you?”

Of course, as a servant, Matthew was basically trained to be observant. It was an important skill to have to survive in the castle if you weren’t of noble blood.

“I have,” Hao confirmed. “It might have to do with the scriptures. But it might not. Something happened this morning that concerned me a little.”

He swiftly recounted his unfortunate run-in with Lord Yoon Yeochan. 

Matthew sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth when he finished. The candle in his hand was almost burnt down by now, its light flickering and creating creepy shades on the walls.

“That does sound very ominous,” Matthew confirmed his suspicions. “He definitely knows about the existence of your father’s will. And he does have his own servants that could’ve checked if that will was still in its original place.”

“I just have a bad feeling about him,” Hao disclosed honestly. About both, Lord Yoon and his overstepping son. 

“Then we better listen to your gut,” Matthew said. “What do you want to do?”

That was a good question. Hao had worked all day to think of a good plan moving forward. 

“I think we should return the will,” Hao said. “It’s the safest way.”

Matthew frowned. “The will could be evidence. What if he tries to get rid of it for some reason?”

“I’ve made a copy,” Hao said. “It doesn’t hold the same value since it doesn’t have my father’s and Lord Yoon’s original signature, but at least we won’t lose any of its content.”

Matthew still didn’t look too convinced. 

“Besides, my mother still owns the missing page. Even if he has a reason to destroy the will, that would be evidence for its existence,” Hao added thoughtfully. 

“It just doesn’t seem fair. That will belongs to you and your mother. It is your right to possess it. He shouldn’t even be interested in it,” Matthew argued fiercely. 

“I see your point,” Hao agreed, actually relating to Matthew’s sentiment. “But Lord Yoon is interested. And we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves right now.”

Matthew raised his eyebrows. “Have you forgotten how popular you’ve become this season again?”

Hao scoffed at the teasing comment. 

“There is something else,” he said, ignoring the remark. He reached for his bedside table. He got out the will - but there was something else that had been taken from his father’s vault. 

“Is that-?” Matthew looked surprised when Hao handed him a key.

He quickly shook his head. “No, it’s not. It’s an old key that belonged to a chest in our cottage. But I think it’s similar enough to fool anyone who might search if anything else has gone missing.”

For a moment, Matthew looked stunned. Then his expression changed into a mischievous one. 

“I’m impressed. You’ve thought about everything,” Matthew complimented him. 

“I want to make sure we cover our tracks,” Hao simply shrugged. 

“So, you want me to drop this back off in your father’s vault. Preferably without anyone noticing me?” Matthew concluded. 

Hao nodded. “Only if you want to. I don’t want to put you in danger.”

“Don’t underestimate me, Zhang Hao,” Matthew grinned. “I know how to sneak around.”

Hao managed a small smile. “Thank you. We would’ve never found out as much without your help.”

It might be the darkness playing a trick on him, but Matthew actually seemed to look coy this time. A rare sight on the always teasingly grinning omega.

“How often do we have to tell you that we’re in this together?” Matthew said after clearing his throat. “We trust you.”

“And I trust you,” Hao replied immediately.

“It’s too late to be this sappy,” Matthew said decisively, actually making Hao chuckle. “I’ll bring these back to the vault as soon as I can slip down there unnoticed.”

“Thank you,” Hao repeated once more, watching as Matthew stood up from his bedside. 

Matthew simply nodded, trying to find his way to the door in the darkness. 

“Matthew,” Hao stopped him before he could leave. Matthew turned around, looking at him expectantly. “Next time, just find me in the morning, please?”

Matthew rolled his eyes.

It didn’t take long until there was another card attached to the daily flowers delivered to Hao’s door in the mornings. This time, it was an invitation for dinner at the Sung residence in two days time. 

So far, Hao had never caught the servant delivering these flowers for him. This morning, however, he had been up early, wanting to meet Taerae for breakfast to tell him about all the recent events as well. 

He put on his slippers and left his room, about to head down to the kitchen for some food when he stumbled into someone. 

At first, Hao thought it was just another scholar - they were known for being up early. But the robes of the boy weren’t the typical dark blue color reserved for scholars. This close Hao could also pick up his scent. Despite his height, it was a sweet fragrance, close to peaches. 

It made Hao a bit perplexed for a moment. He had never met an omega taller than himself before. Then he regathered his wits. 

“I apologize,” he bowed, taking a step away. “Have I hurt you?”

The boy quickly lowered his head, before giving him a toothy smile. 

“Not at all!” He assured him. “I didn’t mean to disturb you. I’m just delivering these flowers to Zhang Hao.”

Only then did Hao notice the flowers and the card. Right. 

“That’s me,” he confirmed, a bit bashful. 

“These are for you then!” The boy grinned, handing the bouquet over. “Sorry, I don’t usually do personal deliveries. But Lord Sung requested these to be brought to your room since he wasn’t available today.”

“Thank you,” Hao said, pressing the flowers to his chest. There were lavenders today. He eyed the servant - he made an effort to remember their faces, but he had never seen his face before. “What’s your name? Are you new to the castle?”

“Oh no, I don’t work for the court,” the servant quickly denied - who was not a servant at all. “My name is Gunwook. My parents own flower fields in the South. It’s the only place you can get flowers from all year round. I do the deliveries for them.” 

Of course. Hao had been wondering where Hanbin had been getting flowers from all throughout winter. Now that the temperature had risen, more flowers were blooming, but Hanbin had been sending him flowers way before that. It seemed like he had found his answer. 

“Thank you again, then, Gunwook,” Hao said with a sincere smile. “These are lovely.”

Gunwook beamed proudly. It looked adorable when Gunwook smiled. He couldn’t be an adult for long yet, his features still soft and child-like, despite his physique being strong and muscular.

Hao returned to his room to place the flower in their vase, scanning over the card that informed him about the dinner plans Hanbin had arranged in two days time. 

He was surprised to find Gunwook still lingering in the hallway when he stepped back out. He looked lost.

“Can I help you with something?” Hao asked him, knowing the feeling all too well of not finding your way back. 

Gunwook grinned sheepishly. “Actually, I’ve never been in the castle before, I only ever bring the flowers to the gate. I’m not quite sure I remember my way back there.”

Hao smiled fondly. There was already a soft spot forming in his heart for the delivery boy. 

“I’ll show you,” Hao offered right away. It wouldn’t be much of a detour on his way to the kitchens. 

Gunwook quickly shook his head, bowing deeply. “You don’t have to, I’m sure you have much more important things to do.”

“It’ll be no trouble,” Hao assured him. “And I’m not a noble. So you don’t have to bow to me.”

Gunwook’s eyes widened. “Oh, I thought- well, Lord Sung spoke so highly of you, and you reside in the castle, so I assumed-”

“My father was a scholar,” Hao stopped Gunwook’s rambling. “That’s why I have been invited to join the courting season.”

Instead of quieting down, like most people did when they had been corrected, Gunwook’s interest only grew. 

“A scholar! So you must know how to read and write well!” Gunwook exclaimed, fascinated. “I’ve only ever learnt the basics. My parents never really valued the written word. There is really only one book I own.”

Somehow Gunwook’s excitement tore down his walls. He remembered the days at the cottage all too well. There was hardly any access to books so opportunities to broaden your intellectual horizon were rare. Gunwook, however, seemed to have a bright mind. 

Hao had an idea. 

“Actually, we might have to make a quick detour,” he informed the boy, who didn’t seem concerned about that at all, taking in all the castle interior with childlike wonder. 

The library was empty and quiet this early in the morning, only a few scholars working on their scriptures in the far corners. 

Hao went to the nature section right away. Some of his father’s early works were still stored there, back when he had dedicated most of his research to flowers and plants. With practiced movements he retrieved the work he had been looking for.

Gunwook was so stunned by the amount of books, he hardly noticed when Hao started his way back again, hurrying to keep up with his pace. 

Technically, Hao was not allowed to give books to outsiders - but a library was there to borrow books, not to keep them hidden. Everybody should be able to read what was stored inside. 

Besides, he felt for Gunwook he could make an exception. He had only met the boy this morning, but he knew that the book would be in the best care with him. 

Once they reached the servant gate, Hao pushed the old scripture of his father about gardening and different flowers into his arms. 

Gunwook looked confused. 

“This is one of my father’s early works. I thought you might like it,” Hao explained to him. 

Gunwook’s mouth dropped open. “I can’t possibly accept this!”

“I’m not gifting it to you,” Hao laughed softly. “I’m lending it to you. When you come to deliver flowers the next time, you can find me to return it.”

There was still a little hesitance in Gunwook’s eyes - but the spark of excitement in there was too precious for Hao not to encourage this. 

“Please. Everybody deserves to experience the joy of a really good book. I know you would make me and my father very happy if you read it,” Hao insisted. 

This time, Gunwook smiled without any reluctance. He bowed deeply again. 

“Thank you so much. I will return it to you safely, I promise!”

Hao couldn’t help but giggle. In a way, Gunwook reminded him a little of himself when he had been younger, always so eager to find the next book to inhale. 

“Travel safely,” Hao told him when Gunwook untied the horse that was pulling his cart. 

Gunwook waved to him all the way until he disappeared around a corner. 

 

With a skip in his step, Hao returned to the castle, back to his initial purpose of finding himself and Taerae some breakfast. 

It was much later than he had anticipated when he found his friend in his chambers. But maybe that wasn’t too bad, as this way both of Taerae’s parents were already out and about when he reached the Kim residence.

Taerae was already up, munching on a roll of bread as he studied over sheets of music when Hao was let into his room by a servant. 

He looked up, surprised when Hao entered with a tray of fruits in his arms. 

“Hao!” He sat up. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Surprise?” Hao smiled, setting the tray down on Taerae’s desk. He eyed Taerae’s notes a bit guiltily. “Are you busy?”

“We have a choir performance soon. I expect the Queen to announce the next ball pretty soon,” Taerae explained. “Otherwise I would’ve found you for breakfast myself.”

“I’m sorry. I can find you another time,” Hao immediately apologized. 

Taerae shook his head. “No, it’s fine. Is it something important?”

Hao bit down on his lip. Then he joined Taerae on his bed and recounted everything that he had already told Matthaw hours prior. After all, there were three of them involved and they all deserved to know the full truth. 

Taerae let out a long breath when he had finished. 

“I think you did the right thing. Returning the will and forging a replacement key. Very smart,” Taerae said, rubbing his eyes. “I’ve never liked the Yoon clan before. Seulchoo is a nasty alpha and his father seems to be of the same kidney.”

“You didn’t think I was overreacting?” Hao asked him, gnawing on his lip. 

“No. It’s better to be safe than sorry. I don’t think Lord Yoon knows about The Rose Project, but he might suspect there is something up with the will,” Taerae told him. “This was the best choice.

Hao nodded. Hearing Taerae say that actually relieved him greatly. His friend had always had a level-headed view on things, which he appreciated. 

“Actually, I wanted to ask you, if you’re done reading through it all, could I have it next? I have the next two evenings off and could do with some reading,” Taerae asked him. “But I don’t want to steal it away from you if you’re not done yet.”

“No, not at all. I’ve read through most of it. And we should all read it. We need to know what we’re working with,” Hao told him. “Besides I-”

He stopped himself, flushing red. 

Taerae, of course, immediately caught on. 

“Besides what?” He pried. 

“I might be busy in the evening anyways,” Hao mumbled. “Hanbin invited me to have dinner with his family.”

Taerae’s grin widened until all his teeth were on display. “I see.”

“I wanted to reread some parts, though, but I think that can wait for a little, right? It’s not like I’m not taking this seriously, right? I just, I-”

“Hao, it can definitely wait for you to have dinner with Hanbin’s parents,” Taerae intercepted him. “It’s not like we know what to do with it yet, anyway. And I think it’s nice that your courting with Hanbin is going well. Like I said, you should enjoy that.”

Hao felt his cheeks heat up a little. It wasn’t like he wasn’t taking the investigation into his father’s death not seriously, it was always in the back of his mind…but so was Hanbin. 

Hanbin was not only in his head, but also in his heart. 

It was good to have Taerae reassure him about that, however. Sometimes, Hao felt there was so much happening in his brain, he needed someone to bring it in order for him. Taerae was exceptionally good at that. 

“I’m actually really nervous,” Hao disclosed. “I haven’t met Lord and Lady Sung in ages.”

“Oh, don’t worry. They are lovely people. A little secluded, as far as I know, but I’ve never heard anyone speak a bad word about them,” Taerae told him. “But I bet Matthew can give you all the details if you wish.”

Taerae winked at him and Hao groaned. 

“I’m not sure I do wish that,” he admitted. Matthew’s read on people was usually pretty accurate, as a servant he was pretty observant about all the personalities and relationships around him - but Hao doubted a briefing à la Matthew would do much to calm down his nerves.

“Suit yourself,” Taerae smirked. “But I really don’t think you have anything to worry about. Hanbin seems properly charmed by you. I doubt his parents will have anything against that.”

Hao blushed again. Despite Hanbin courting him for quite a while now, at times it still felt unreal to Hao. 

“I hope so,” he muttered. 

Taerae only laughed, reaching for some of the grapes Hao had brought. He popped one into his mouth before turning back to Hao with a cocked eyebrow.

“So, how did your mother react?”

Hao was standing in front of his mirror, contemplating. Today, he had chosen his own robes - a simple white shirt and black slacks. It was a neat fit, a little nicer than his daily attire. Usually, when Hao tried to dress nicely, he felt like a child in adult’s clothing. As he inspected his reflection, he found that he didn’t look like a stranger to himself. No, he looked…nice. Just nice. 

He wondered if this was how Hanbin saw him. People had told him he was beautiful lately more often than he had heard his entire life - but Hao had never truly believed it, never seeing it. Now, however, he perhaps could find a little more understanding why someone might see him that way. 

He slipped on the golden bracelet with Hanbin’s name on it. The finishing touch. This was normally the point when his mother would assess the overall picture. Hao had somehow managed to avoid her for the past few days, keeping the dinner with Hanbin’s parents a secret. 

He probably should’ve expected her to find out anyway.

He sat down on his bed, waiting for Hanbin to show up to accompany him to his parent’s quarters. Just as he checked the time on the small clock on his nightstand, the door was busted open. 

Needless to say, it was not Hanbin. 

His mother stood in the middle of his room, hands on her hips and eyebrows raised to the start of her hairline. She looked him up and down, clearly taking in his neat dress-up. 

“Where are you going?” She asked him without any further ado. 

Hao sighed, seeing no point in lying to her. 

“Hanbin’s parents invited me for dinner,” Hao told her honestly.

“And you didn’t tell me why?” She followed up. 

“Because they invited me, not you,” Hao answered, as simple as it was. 

He understood that as his chaperone, his mother was involved in all his courting decisions. This, however, Hao had felt he could manage on his own, without any supervision. His mother had the tendency to speak for him whenever they were together, and tonight, Hao really wanted to speak for himself. 

“I’m your chaperone!” His mother pointed out. “Wouldn’t it be customary to assume I would tag along?”

“Hanbin is already courting me. You gave us permission to proceed without constant chaperoning,” Hao argued back. 

His mother opened his mouth and closed it again. Seemed like this was a point for him. 

“Still, it would’ve been polite to invite me as well,” his mother huffed. 

Hao sensed that she had been hurt in her pride.

“Hanbin will pick me up in a minute. If you really want to come along, I’m sure he would not oppose,” Hao offered, always the compromiser. “But I believed this would be a good opportunity for me to introduce myself to the Sung family.”

His mother shook her head. “No, I couldn’t possibly come along uninvited.” She rubbed her forehead. “You could’ve at least told me so we could’ve prepared accordingly.”

“I’m sorry,” Hao apologized, before standing his ground. “But I believe I’m ready. I’ve heard the Sung family are kind people and I don’t want to deceive them. I just want to be myself and hope they will like that.”

His mother remained silent. Her gaze softened a little as she stepped closer, taking both his hands. 

“The Sung family might be kind, but they are still nobles. I don’t know them personally, but it is important to keep your head up high around them. Don’t let them think of you as beneath them,” his mother told him. “But there is a fine line. You cannot intimidate them as well. Nobles don’t like to be shown up by people like us.”

Hao was a bit surprised by that advice. His mother had never been a scholar herself, but she had always been just as smart and bright as his father had been. She understood a lot about people - and this, pride , seemed to be something she understood particularly well. 

She let go of his hands and stepped back. She looked him up and down once more. 

“You look beautiful,” she told him, nodding in approval. She smiled softly. “You’ve grown up so much.”

It made Hao speechless. His mother was not an affectionate woman, sparse with her praise. 

Before he could reply to anything, there was a knock on his door. 

His mother’s expression firmed up. She smiled wickedly as she went to open the door. 

This time it was Hanbin, eyes widening when he was greeted by the sight of his mother. 

“Lady Zhang!” He said, stunned, before bowing deeply. “I’m sorry, I didn’t expect you. I’m here to pick up Hao for dinner with my parents.”

His mother nodded. “So I’ve heard.”

Hanbin shuffled a little uncomfortable on his feet as her strict gaze rested upon him. He scratched the back of his neck nervously. 

She clicked her tongue. “I guess you’ve forgotten to invite me, then?”

Hanbin’s complexion paled. “I didn’t know you wanted to come. You gave me permission to see Hao without the need for a chaperone, but you may very well join us.”

“Maybe another time,” his mother declined, obviously satisfied now that she had made Hanbin sweat. “I’m busy tonight.”

“Another time,” Hanbin confirmed eagerly. 

His mother turned to him. “We’ll speak tomorrow.”

It was not a question. Hao nodded anyway, watching as his mother sidestepped Hanbin and left them alone - finally making room for him to greet Hanbin. 

Hanbin’s eyes lightened up as his gaze fell upon him. “Hi.”

Hao smiled back. “Hi.”

“You look lovely,” Hanbin said, as always generous with his compliments. 

This time, Hao didn’t feel like arguing with him. 

“Thank you,” he said. “So do you.”

Hanbin’s smile got even brighter. He offered him his arm. “Ready?”

Hao took it without hesitation. “Lead the way.”

 

They locked his door and started walking down the hallway, down to the scholar’s courtyard. 

“I thought you weren’t scared of my mother anymore,” Hao commented teasingly as they made it outside.

Hanbin grinned crookedly. “She can be quite intimidating. I have very deep respect for her.”

“Are your parents the same?” Hao wondered, now that they were getting closer growing nervous again. 

Hanbin laughed. “I respect them deeply. And they do hold high expectations for me. But they are not intimidating people.”

Hao nodded. He hoped he would meet their expectations. He had spoken confidently to his own mother before, but he was feeling very insecure about what the Sung family would think of him. Would Hanbin change his mind about him if tonight went badly? He didn’t want to believe so, but Hanbin was a loyal son, it seemed, who valued the opinion of his parent’s very much. 

He only hoped tonight wouldn’t go badly, then. 

 

They arrived in the noble quarters, the orange tinted windows indicating they had changed locations. The Sung residence was located at the very end, secluded from most of the other offices and family residences. 

Hao inhaled deeply as Hanbin opened the door. 

The first thing Hao noticed was the difference in space. He had thought the Kim quarters were spacious, but the Sung's residence surpassed theirs easily. There was a small chandelier hanging from the ceiling in the entrance room. His own bedroom could’ve fitted inside there at least seven times. 

A maid greeted them, taking off their coats and hanging them in a closet with golden embellishments.

Before Hao could properly inspect all the finely crafted details in this room, Hanbin pulled him further along. They entered the dining room, where a large table was decked with food for four people, various dishes already smelling heavenly. 

Hao spotted Matthew lighting up the candles placed in the middle of the table. He grinned when he saw them, giving Hao a cheeky wink. 

“I’ll call for your parents,” Matthew let them know, disappearing swiftly. 

Hanbin smiled gratefully, helping another servant placing down forks and spoons. Hao awkwardly shifted from his left to his right foot, not knowing what to do with his body. 

“Zhang Hao!” He turned around. 

A small woman with Hanbin’s eyes and nose entered the room. Before Hao could even as much as lower his head, she had reached for his cheeks, holding them dearly as she pulled his face down. 

“Oh, you are as beautiful as they say,” she spoke quickly. “Hanbin didn’t exaggerate.”

Hao blushed fiercely and Hanbin coughed loudly. “Mother!”

She patted his cheeks softly, before letting go of him. Hao bowed deeply. 

“Lady Sung, it’s an honor to finally meet you,” he muttered. 

“Oh, none of that,” she said, making him stand up straight. “By the way things are going, we are going to be family by the end of the year.”

“Mother!”

Hao’s whole body was burning. He wasn’t quite sure what to say. 

At that moment, another man stepped inside the room. He resembled Hanbin less, but his scent had the same woody quality. 

Hao quickly bowed again. 

“Zhang Hao,” the man, presumably Hanbin’s father, said. “Hanbin’s told us a lot about you. I’m glad we’re finally meeting.”

To Hao’s surprise, when he straightened up again, he noticed that Hanbin’s father had lowered his head in return. 

“I’m delighted to have been invited here,” Hao reminded himself to reply. 

“Why don’t we sit down?” Hanbin’s father suggested.

Lady Sung had already relieved the servants of their duty, leaving the room in the privacy of the Sung family plus Hao.

When Hao went over to the table, Hanbin had already pulled out a chair for him. With a flustered smile, Hao followed the invitation, glad when Hanbin took the seat next to him. Lady and Lord Sung sat down opposite of them.

“Eat as much as you want,” Lady Sung told him, quickly distributing food onto plates. “I hope these dishes are to your liking. I didn’t know your taste.”

“I like everything,” Hao swiftly assured her. “This is very gracious of you.”

Lady Sung gave him a sweet smile. Her whole being emitted warmth, like there was a personal sun radiating inside of her. It was no wonder Hanbin possessed so much warmth as well, even if he had just inherited a fraction from his mother. It calmed down his nerves that she seemed to like him already. 

“Hao - may I call you Hao?” Lord Sung asked him. 

Hao nodded right away. “Of course!” 

It was his name after all, and he possessed no honorary title he could’ve been addressed with otherwise. 

“Well, Hao, I hope you can excuse us - but I do need to discuss something work related with Hanbin before we get to know each other properly. If you’ll allow it?”

“Y-yes, of course!” Hao agreed again - getting that it was only a question of politeness. 

“Thank you,” Lord Sung said, turning to his son. “It’s just, I’ve spoken with Lord Min today again, and he was very demanding on charging higher rates for foreign packs to use the new travel road we built. Have you finished your proposal about prices yet?”

Hanbin sighed, simply the mention of his work draining his energy. “I’ve spoken to Lord Min every day since we built those roads. I’m tired of having to explain myself to him.”

“Well, he might have a point in saying that we are currently paying higher rates to use the paths built by the Northern Empire than they will for use of our routes. Are you sure you have calculated everything correctly?”

“We are not.”

All heads turned to Hao all of a sudden and he noticed that he had spoken out loud. He almost slapped a hand in front of his own mouth in shock. 

He lowered his eyes. “Sorry, it’s just…I believe we are not paying anything for travelling on the Northern Empires routes.”

“What do you mean?” Lord Sung asked him, forehead crinkled with curiosity. 

Hao bit down on his tongue. He shouldn’t have said anything. Hadn’t his mother warned him about this? But backing down now was also not possible. 

“I believe…if I remember correctly, the Northern Empire doesn’t charge our merchants anything for transporting goods in and out of the country. They only charge fees for travels of leisure, in return for keeping travelers safe on their way through the empire. I believe this was established five years ago, in the Travel-Trade-Agreement between our kingdom and the Northern Empire.”

It was silent again. Hao felt the stares rest on his face, keeping his own eyes glued to the table. 

“Hao’s right,” Hanbin finally said. “The Northern Empire still artificially charges us for using their roads, but they never demand actual payment, as stated in the agreement. I’ve explained as much to Lord Min multiple times.”

Lord Sung hummed. Hao dared to peek at his expression, only to find him looking straight at him. 

“How come you are so knowledgeable about trade agreements, Hao?”

Hao lowered his head again. “My grandfather was a merchant. And I…just read a lot. I wouldn’t say I know a lot.”

“Right. Zhang Xiao, I remember. He brought great prosperity to our kingdom,” Lord Sung said. “I suppose your family has always been very knowledgeable and well-read. I’m glad to see that trait passed on to you.”

Hao flushed red. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation.”

“Never apologize for being the smartest person in the room,” Lord Sung told him firmly. “Knowledge is a great power to have.”

“I’m not…I don’t-” Hao began to stutter, utterly flustered. 

Underneath the table, Hanbin reached for his hand, which had been tightly clutching his thigh. He gave him a tender smile and Hao felt his wildly beating heart being soothed.

“I’ll see to it that Lord Min will find reason and back off your proposal,” Lord Sung returned to the initial conversation. “But it would help if your proposal would be finished soon.”

“Enough work-talk for now!” Lady Sung interrupted with finality. “None of you have even tasted my soup yet! Hao, is it to your liking?”

Hao hurried to take a spoon. The soup was perfectly spiced, just salty enough and rich in flavor. 

“It’s wonderful,” he complimented Hanbin’s mother. “Did you make this?”

“Cooking is my secret passion. If I’m not traveling, it’s what I do the most,” she said happily. “I’ve heard you and your mother have lived in a cottage in a nearby village, you must’ve done a lot of your own cooking as well.”

“My mother is far more skilled than I am,” Hao admitted honestly. “But we grew a lot of our own vegetables.”

“How nice,” she smiled. “It must’ve been difficult to adjust back to court life then.”

Hao felt his breathing stagger. “I-it was,” he said, turning to look at Hanbin. “But Hanbin helped me out a lot.”

Lady Sung laughed softly. “I’m glad to hear that. I’m so happy you two reconnected. We’ve always been impressed by your family.”

“Hmm, your father was a remarkable thinker,” Lord Sung agreed.

Right, his father. Hao had expected the topic to arise at some point. Somehow, it always did - and yet he had still not found the best way to navigate through those conversations.

“He was,” he repeated. “A great thinker.”

“I’ve never known him much, but I knew he was a good man,” Lord Sung stated. “I think you do resemble him a lot.”

Hao remained quiet, at a loss for words once again. At this point, he wasn’t sure how this meeting was going overall. He found himself speechless more often than he would’ve liked. However, neither Lord nor Lady Sung seemed to look at him with any maliciousness in their eyes. 

It was like they had never wanted to judge him in the first place.

“This soup is really fabulous,” Hanbin suddenly said, smacking his lips exaggeratedly. “Did you use fresh coriander?”

The sudden tension was diffused with ease as Lady Sung began retelling how she had gone down to the scholar’s gardens in the morning to harvest herbs. 

Hao felt Hanbin give his hand another squeeze, and this time, he squeezed back, expressing silent gratitude. 

 

Luckily, the remaining dinner went ahead without any major faux paus on his part. Hanbin’s father expressed an interest in Hao’s personal studies, while Hanbin’s mother continued to ask him about his life in the cottage. It was true what people were saying, the Sung family was oozing with kindness. So much so, that Hao ended up with a loaf of freshly baked bread underneath his arm that he hadn’t been able to refuse when Lady Sung had given it to him.

She had pulled him down into a warm hug when he bid his goodbye and Hao felt like this woman was incapable of making anyone feel unwelcome. Hanbin’s father gave him a firm handshake, telling him he would be pleased to have him over again soon.

 

All in all, despite some bumps in the road, this evening had gone better than Hao had wished for. 

Hanbin also seemed happy as he walked Hao back to his room. He had intertwined their hands again, happily swinging them back and forth as they passed through the courtyard. 

“Hao, can I tell you something?” Hanbin asked him when they reached his doorstep. 

Not willing to say goodbye yet, Hao agreed right away, anything to prolong their conversation. “Of course.”

Hanbin inhaled deeply. “I think I’m going to quit my work.”

Hao hadn’t expected that. After a few perplexed seconds, he sorted out his thoughts. It had always been obvious to him that Hanbin wasn’t overly passionate about the work he was doing for the castle, mostly doing it out of duty to his parents. 

“How come?” He asked curiously. 

Hanbin shrugged. “I’ve actually been thinking about it for a long time. I’ve just never been brave enough.”

“What changed?” Hao questioned. 

Hanbin gave him a deep look. “You.”

“Me?”

“You inspire me,” Hanbin said. “Every time I look at you, I get more amazed.”

Hao was confused. “But I’m not anything special?”

Hanbin laughed in disbelief. “You are. You always have been.”

“You don’t mean that-”

“Hao,” Hanbin stepped closer to him, lifting a hand and softly brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. Hao’s breath hitched. “I’ve been following you around since we were children. You’ve inspired me before I even knew what that word meant.”

“But I didn’t do anything special,” Hao argued. 

“You told me we make our own legacies,” Hanbin said. 

“Those were your words,” Hao countered, remembering that day in the mud underneath the stars very clearly. It had been the first time he had truly noticed Hanbin’s beauty, the first time his heart had skipped a beat at the sight of him. 

“And yet, they didn’t make sense to me until you said them,” Hanbin told him. He was standing even closer now, making his heart pound in his chest. “Hao, you inspire people. You inspire me. You might not see it, but there is something special about you. You make people want to dream.”

“But I-” 

Hao didn’t really understand. Tonight, he really hadn’t done anything special. Truly, it was Hanbin who was doing the brave thing, deciding to deter from the path that had been laid out for him since childhood to chase his dream instead. If anyone was inspiring in this scenario, it surely wasn’t Hao.

His words of protest got lost when Hanbin’s fingers went from his hair to his cheek. He was still so, so close. The scent of pinewood and forest was thick in the air between them, so comforting and pleasant. Hao’s entire body trembled.

“Thank you for tonight,” Hanbin spoke gently. “Sleep well.”

Hao closed his eyes. There was a soft press of lips against his forehead. He heard his own heartbeat in his ears and wondered if Hanbin was able to pick it up as well. Perhaps, their hearts were beating in sync. 

The sensation lasted only a second and when he opened his eyes again, Hanbin was already walking away from him, a light skip in his step. 

Hao watched him with delight spreading in his chest. 

His entire body was on fire - but oh was it a gentle burn.

Notes:

Thank you for reading!!
It's been such a joy sharing all these updates with you lately!! I wanna thank everyone who takes the time to read this story and I appreciate every one who leaves me a comment!!

Also, Gunwook finally made an appearance!! Hehehe, what do you think?

Everybody, have a wonderful week!! :33

Chapter 13: Gladiolus

Summary:

gladiolus. lat. sword; symbolizes strong moral values, integrity or infatuation

Notes:

hehe another member makes his appearance hehehehe enjoy!!
also my day was so long and im super tried forgive me for any typos and botched english jenrfije

Life at the castle was always busy, but these days, it was exceptionally so. 

First, unlike Taerae had assumed, there had not been a ball announced - but a tournament instead, where all noble alphas of courting age could compete to prove their worthiness. 

That alone should have stirred up enough trouble to keep people talking for days, but that was not everything. 

Second, the return of their own prince, Shen Ricky, had been announced. 

Shen Ricky was not technically a real prince by blood, as he was only a nephew of the Queen - but he was a prince in every other sense. From his elegance to the fact that he was beloved by everyone in their kingdom, Shen Ricky embodied royalty. 

That’s why, when his departure to the Southern Realm had been announced a few months ago, many people had been disappointed to see him leave. However, the engagement offer coming from the Southern Realm had enticed the court to send their own prince to fulfill his duty and be wedded to the second princess - unsuccessfully, as Shen Ricky returned to the castle an unmated and unmarried omega. 

It was truly an astounding achievement for an omega of Shen Ricky’s standing to reject such a proposal - but again, his good reputation at court protected him from the worst gossip, as most people welcomed him back to the castle like a long lost son. 

Hao, personally, was very glad to see the prince return. Not because he knew him on a personal level or held any particular affection for him. No, he was happy to see him return because it meant that for the first time since he had come to the castle, people were not talking about him . The center of attention had finally shifted to someone else.

According to Matthew, who was his most reliable source when it came to court gossip, all people could talk about were the upcoming tournament and whether Shen Ricky would be allowed to belatedly join the courting season now that he had returned. 

It relieved Hao greatly that some of the scrutiny people had regarded him with was finally fading. 

These days, he was in a pretty good mood overall, spending most of his time going on public strolls with Hanbin or reading in the library. Right now, it was Matthew’s turn to dig through The Rose Project, and since he was pretty busy with all the preparations for the tournament, it took him a little longer to get through it all. 

They had all agreed on getting back together only once they had all read through the entire project to discuss how to proceed with their newly gained knowledge. 

For the time being, Hao was more than happy to keep a low profile. Ever since Lord Yoon had cornered him on the eastern tower, he had become more cautious about sneaking in and out of his father’s study. If they decided to go forward with The Rose Project, it was best nobody suspected that they were up to something.

So, Hao allowed himself a break from cracking his father’s case. It wasn’t like there weren’t enough other things keeping him occupied. 

When he wasn’t spending time with Hanbin, or watching Taerae’s choir rehearsals, or helping Matthew out with his duties around the castle - there was still his mother. 

She had agreed to let Hanbin be the one to take him to the tournament, deciding to take a step into the background. According to her, it would signal the seriousness and strength of the unit Hanbin and him were forming. Hao didn’t really care what it would signal, but it made him happy that his mother seemed to trust him more these days. She was letting go of some of the control and instead let him gain more independence over his own courting season. It was a nice feeling.

Hanbin had also been delighted when Hao had delivered the news to him. Hanbin had not planned on joining the tournament himself, since he was already successfully courting an omega and didn’t want to prove his worthiness to anyone else. So, Hao looked most forward to spending the day by Hanbin’s side, watching as their peers fought it out among themselves. 

Hao wasn’t sure what to think about the entire tradition of the tournament itself. Apparently, there would be a horse race, an archery competition - and the highlight, a sword fight. 

Those were all physical demanding tasks that had nothing much to do with using one’s wits. It seemed all very benign to him. Could you really measure a person’s worthiness by their strength? 

He understood that it was an event for entertainment mostly, but still, it all felt a bit nonsensical to him.

Surprisingly, his mother largely shared his sentiment. This time, she barely lectured him about rules and proper etiquette. Mostly, she just wanted him to stay by Hanbin’s side for the day, while she would mingle with her own associates - an order Hao was more than glad to follow. 

This time, the robes she had prepared for him were a lot less intricate and expensive, leaning more on the comfortable and practical side. He was wearing brown linen pants paired with a simple white flowy shirt, with the left sleeve pulled up. Since he would be spending the entire day in these, and not just the night, Hao did not complain about the simplicity. He was rather happy about the fact that he would be able to breathe and move around without breaking a sweat.

Because his mother was his mother, she had woven a string out of white gladiolus that she was wrapping around his waist as a belt for the finishing touch. At least like this, nobody could accuse Hao of not putting in any effort for his appearance. 

 

Hanbin knocked on his door more than punctually to pick him up for the event. His mother had just finished combing through his hair, huffing in annoyance at being interrupted. 

She went to open his bedroom door. 

“You’re early,” she told Hanbin, who sheepishly ducked his head as he followed her inside the room. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“Just sit down and wait while I finish this,” she instructed him and Hanbin took a seat behind Hao’s desk. 

Hao curiously peaked around his mother, catching a glimpse of Hanbin. He was also dressed casually, hair neatly swept out of his forehead. The sight of him made Hao’s heart do a little jump.

Then his mother stepped back into his field of vision, applying some color to his cheeks and lips with several cushions and brushes. Hao just let her do as she pleased, having long since learnt that there was no use in arguing with her when it came to his appearance. 

After a few more minutes, she stepped away, urging him to stand up. Her gaze was analytical as she told him to spin around. 

“All done,” she finally decided.

She wiped her hands clean on her own robes, which she would probably change out of now that she was done attending to Hao. 

She turned to Hanbin with a strict gaze. 

“No improper behavior. I trust you to take good care of my only son for the day. Remember, I will be watching,” she warned him. 

Hanbin’s face was perfectly innocent as he affirmed her that he would do nothing but accompany Hao through the day. 

Finally, they were left alone as she stepped out of the room to make herself presentable. 

Hanbin grinned as he stood up from his chair, approaching Hao with his hands stretched out. 

Hao took them with a smile. 

“Are you ready?” Hanbin asked him. 

Hao nodded eagerly. “We should hurry. Taerae told me the choir would sing right after the opening speech and I don’t want to miss it.”

He wanted to pull Hanbin along, but was stopped when Hanbin didn’t move with him, feet rooted firmly in place. He turned around with a confused expression. 

Hanbin chuckled. “Wait just a second,” he told him - now it was him who was pulling Hao closer. “I haven’t told you how beautiful you look today yet. You look very beautiful.”

Hao felt his breath stutter, overwhelmed not only by the words but also by the sudden proximity. Hanbin had done that a lot more recently, getting so close to him that Hao felt like it was hard to breathe.

Those were the moments Hao’s mind went either blank or on overdrive. Ever since he had felt the gentle press of Hanbin’s lips against his forehead, he wondered how they would feel against his own lips. Then he blushed at his own thoughts. Was Hanbin thinking about it as well? Hao couldn’t tell. Hanbin was always such a gentleman, never getting closer than was appropriate. 

Sometimes, Hao wished they could forget all about propriety and customs. All he really wanted was for Hanbin to sweep him off his feet and hold him close. 

The scent of roses suddenly tingled his nose and Hao realized that it was coming from him. Quickly, he took a step back, coughing in embarrassment. 

Hanbin only laughed fondly, not letting go of his hand. 

“We should leave,” Hao repeated, not sure what else he would do if he and Hanbin were to be alone even a second longer.

This time, Hanbin let himself be pulled outside his room and down the scholar’s floor. 

 

The court was already bursting with excitement, people chatting and running from left to right. His hold on Hanbin’s hand tightened as they made their way through the crowd. 

The tournament was held in the royal gardens, the biggest garden the castle had to offer. Multiple horses were already bound near a horse track, right next to a shooting area with bows and arrows prepared - as well as audience stands all around the gardens for the curious spectators. 

There was a buzz in the air as they made their way to the middle of the garden, where a small tribune had been built.

They found a spot with a good enough view and enough space to not feel suffocated. Near the tribune, the members of the choir were already lined up, dressed in their traditional uniforms. Hao waved when his gaze met Taerae’s, who smiled back at him. 

It didn’t take long until the King appeared and the crowd parted to make way for him. As soon as he stepped on the small stage, everybody became silent. It was impressive how much power he held. 

“Welcome to our annual tournament! I’m happy to witness all your excitement and I’m sure we’re going to see an outstanding performance by everyone who is brave enough to compete today,” he opened the event. “As always, the victorious ones will be rewarded with a medal of honor. I hope to see a fair and just competition!”

People clapped as he stopped speaking. The King waved the choir up on stage. 

“To start us all off on a good note, I believe the royal choir has prepared a performance. Please, enjoy!”

There was applause again. Hao squeezed Hanbin’s hand when the choir finally started singing. 

He had heard this song multiple times in rehearsals before, but it still filled him with pride and joy to see his friend on stage. 

Taerae didn’t speak much about it, but Hao knew that he had a passion for music and singing. Seeing him live out that passion was a sight to behold and Hao wished that Taerae could follow that passion until the very end. Everything else, Hao would deem a heinous injustice to his friend’s talents. 

Once the song was over, Hao cheered enthusiastically. He had witnessed all the hard work the choir had put into preparations. 

“They sound so lovely,” Hanbin leaned over to whisper in his ear. His breath tingled against Hao’s skin, who shivered in reaction. 

“They are all great singers. Taerae told me some of them train their entire life,” Hao confirmed. 

“Is that something you would want to do in the future?” Hanbin asked him all of a sudden. “Now that you are back at the castle, you could join the choir as well.”

Hao would lie if he said the thought hadn’t crossed his mind before. Seeing Taerae sing with so much joy and passion was inspiring - how could he not think about joining him? 

“I do love music,” Hao admitted, always having had a special appreciation for the art form. “But I don’t think the choir is where my purpose lies.”

It was the truth. Maybe in another life, Hao could give his entire self to music, but in this life, he felt like he was destined for another path. Where that path would lead, he had yet to discover. 

Hanbin looked like he wanted to pry, but before he could, they were interrupted. Taerae had found them, cheeks red from adrenaline. 

“Taerae!” Hao exclaimed once he recognized his friend, pulling him into an embrace. “You were amazing! This was your best performance yet!”

Taerae smiled, satisfied. “Thank you! I think we did well today, the conductor looked very pleased.”

“You all sounded wonderful,” Hanbin agreed, bowing his head. 

“Thank you, Lord Sung,” Taerae bowed in return. 

At first, Hao found the formality between them very odd, but then he remembered that they were in public and Taerae and Hanbin were both noblemen. Also, while he was familiar with both Hanbin and Taerae, they must’ve not been cordially introduced to each other.

“Please, call me Hanbin, Lord Kim,” Hanbin immediately offered.

“Call me Taerae, then,” Taerae agreed with ease. “I’ve heard only good things about you from Hao.”

Hanbin chuckled. “Not so many from Matthew then, I suppose?”

Taerae laughed along. “I’ve heard nothing yet that made me dislike you. You seem to be of great character.”

“Likewise,” Hanbin returned the compliment. 

Hao watched the interaction with a smile.

“Taerae!” A loud voice coming from somewhere in the crowd made Hao shriek. 

Taerae pulled a grimace. “That’s probably my mother looking for me. I think she wants to scout out all the possible winners so she can try and set me up with all of them.”

“You should probably listen to her, then,” Hao told him, only for Taerae to roll his eyes. 

“But most winners are all brawns, no brains. You know how I feel about alphas that cannot string a coherent sentence together,” Taerae groaned, making Hao giggle. 

“I don’t think you have a choice,” Hao said, pointing to where Lady Kim had emerged from the crowds, waving hastily for Taerae to join her side.

Taerae only rolled his eyes again, but then obliged his mother’s wishes and disappeared in the crowd with her.

 

“He did not sound happy,” Hanbin commented, worry creasing his forehead. “Does he not enjoy the courting season?”

“I think he doesn’t enjoy having to entertain dull alphas,” Hao let him know. “But he can handle himself.”

Hanbin nodded, before nudging him in his side. “What about me? Am I a dull alpha?”

Hao giggled. “No. You have never once been dull.”

Hanbin grinned, satisfied, but there was a faint blush resting on his cheeks as well. 

“Should we find a seat?” Hanbin suggested, pointing over to the audience stands. “I think the race is about to begin soon.”

They made their way over, climbing a few ranks up to have a better view of the entire race track. The sun was shining brightly today, so Hanbin offered the seat in the shade to Hao. 

“Thank you,” Hao smiled as he sat down. 

All of these kind little gestures Hanbin did for him always made his heart feel so fond. He glanced at Hanbin, who had sat down by his side. The sun was shining on his complexion, making him look golden underneath the light. A brown strand of hair had fallen over his forehead. Hao’s fingers itched to stroke it back into place.

Before he could give in to his urges, he got distracted by the people around them gasping. 

Shen Ricky had climbed the stands, a servant holding a parasol over his head as he sat down. Right away, people started whispering about their beloved prince, wondering if he’d come to take a look at all the eligible alphas this courting season. 

Despite being glad to be paid less attention, Hao couldn’t help but feel pity for him. He knew what it was like to return to the castle suddenly, to be met with so much attention - although he might not quite match the amount of attention Ricky gathered. 

Hanbin followed his gaze, turning to look at him with confusion. “What is it?”

Hao sighed. “I just feel sorry for him. It must be so strange for him to be back. I wish people would just leave him alone. It’s not his fault the engagement fell through.”

Hanbin gave him a bemused smile. “That’s so like you,” he commented.

“What is?” Hao asked puzzled. 

“To have compassion for him, someone who has everything,” Hanbin elaborated. “But I understand. He returned under unfortunate circumstances. Although, I don’t think the public is blaming him too much. He is as beloved as ever.”

“That’s good. It’s not like he chose this fate,” Hao nodded. 

Actually, when Hao thought about it, it was quite impressive what Shen Ricky had accomplished by returning to the castle unmated. He wondered what had driven him to make such a decision, disregarding the duty thrust upon him at birth, uncaring about the expectations. Besides pity, it was respect Hao felt when looking at Shen Ricky. 

He was distracted once more as the judge of the race informed  everyone with a loud voice about the start of the competition. Many of the noble alphas had swung themselves in the saddles on their trusted steeds, ready to show off their skills. 

Hanbin snorted when the first group of riders shot away through the field. 

Hao, who did not understand much about horseback riding, glanced at him curiously.

“I think your friend Taerae has a point,” Hanbin muttered underneath his breath. “This whole tournament is a bit ridiculous and superficial. We are not even celebrating the most talented horseback riders, we’re just watching people try to show off.”

“But isn’t the point of a competition to find the best?” Hao asked, a bit baffled by Hanbin’s statement. 

“It should be, but this one is not. Because the best are not even allowed to participate,” Hanbin replied. “The guards,” he added when Hao kept frowning. “Jiwoong could probably beat everyone here in his sleep.”

“Why aren’t guards and servants allowed to compete?” Hao questioned. Now that Hanbin mentioned it, it didn’t make sense to exclude the people who trained all their life in a competition like this. 

Hanbin shrugged. “Probably the same reason why not everyone is allowed to join the courting season at the castle. They care too much about standing and bloodlines to see what really matters.”

It was rare to hear Hanbin, a nobleman, find such strong words about people of his own standing. Hao, who had nothing but his father’s money to his name (and not even that truly, as the will stated), had always felt beneath the noble people because of his lack of connections. 

It reassured him that Hanbin seemed to not care a single bit about such things. Otherwise, he probably wouldn’t have courted Hao in the first place. 

 

Once the races were over and they crowned a winner, people got up from the stands. Slowly, they strolled over to the shooting range, where the second competition would be held.

Hanbin took his hand as they made their way over and Hao gladly let him lead the way. 

It was unusually warm for this time of the season, the sun foreshadowing what would await them once summer fully came. 

“Should I get you a beverage? Water? Juice? Tea?” Hanbin asked him, stretching his head to spot the table with refreshments. “It’s getting quite warm.”

“Oh, you don’t have to. I can go myself,” Hao quickly declined, but Hanbin did not relent. 

“Nonsense. Wait here and I’ll be back in a second,” Hanbin said, lifting Hao’s hand to his mouth and pressing a chance kiss to it before disappearing. 

Hao felt his ears burn up at the sudden gesture of affection. Then his heart bloomed with happiness and he smiled to himself. 

 

He was about to find a quiet corner to wait for Hanbin - but someone found him first. 

“So this is the omega everyone has been talking about.”

Hao’s heart dropped to the ground when he saw none other than Shen Ricky standing behind him. 

He had never bowed so quickly in his life, head getting dizzy from how fast he had lowered it. 

“Prince Shen,” he muttered nervously. 

His mother had not prepared him for meeting an actual prince. She was probably losing hair somewhere in the crowd, witnessing Hao on his own, face to face with such a highly political figure. 

“Straighten up,” Shen Ricky told him. “I like it better when people talk to my face than to my feet.”

With no hesitation, Hao did as told, standing up straight to look at Shen Ricky. He was actually even more ethereal up close. Hao noticed that like him, Shen Ricky was also quite tall. His robes glittered underneath the sun, embroidered with silver strings.

“It’s an honor to meet you, Prince Shen” Hao said, lowering his eyes. “My name is Zhang Hao.”

“I’ve heard your name, Hao. And you seem to know mine as well,” Shen Ricky told him, only making Hao sweat even more. “So please, call me by it. No need for bothersome titles.”

When Hao looked understandably hesitant, Shen Ricky narrowed his eyes. 

“That’s an order.”

Well, Hao couldn’t directly disobey an order from a prince. 

“I’ll try,” he said, earning him a smile from Ricky. He looked much younger when he smiled, reminding Hao that he wasn’t that much older than the prince. “So, where have you heard my name then?”

“People talk. They say you’ve been stealing the spotlight this courting season,” Ricky told him.

“People like to exaggerate,” Hao protested right away. 

“So there have not been over two dozen courting offers with your name on it?” Ricky asked him teasingly. 

Hao snorted. “Not if you only count the ones without spelling mistakes in them.”

For a second, Ricky looked shocked. Hao was startled by himself as he realized what he had just said. He was not talking with Taerae, Matthew or even Hanbin, who he knew would not take his words in jest. No, he was talking to Shen Ricky, a prince, a noble, the epitome of blood, standing and heritage.

To his surprise, Ricky bursted out laughing. He held his stomach, cracking up as if he had never heard anything funnier. 

Again, Hao was shocked to find so much youth still in Ricky, who had always been put on a glass pedestal, too mature and delicate to even entertain such things as fun and humor. Ricky was much too young to have been through what he had been through. 

All because he was a royal omega.

It made Hao feel deeply conflicted for the person in front of him.

“I can see why you are popular,” Ricky told him once he calmed down. “I like your style.”

Hao smiled at him, unsurely. He wasn’t certain why Ricky had approached him in the first place, or why he had deemed Hao worthy of conversation in this sea of people more aligned with his standing. But maybe that was just it. Hao had no standing. He did not know how to treat someone like Ricky according to customs. 

“Thank you,” Hao said, this time smiling much more genuinely. 

If Ricky wanted someone normal, he could give him that.

“Maybe we’ll see each other around,” Ricky smirked, before he was pushed along by his guard to keep moving. 

Hao bowed to him once more.

He couldn’t believe he had just spoken to Shen Ricky. 

 

A few moments later, Hanbin found him again, a tall glass of water in his hand. Hao accepted it gratefully, the cold liquid working wonders in the simmering heat. 

“Should we keep going?” Hanbin asked him, offering his arm. 

Hao took it gladly, letting himself be guided through the crowd. 

The shooting competition had already begun when they made it to the archery range. 

They watched for a little while, but Hao didn’t find this tournament as interesting and thrilling as the race had been. Hanbin seemed to notice his distracted mind, leaning over to his ear to be heard over the noise of the crowd. 

“Have you ever shot an arrow before?” 

Hao turned his head to look at Hanbin. He had, in fact, never been taught how to shoot an arrow, nor how to yield a sword or ride a horse. His father had been a scholar of the mind, and the only things his mother had taught him at the cottage were pretty trivial such as housekeeping and sewing. 

He shook his head.

Hanbin’s infamous grin appeared on his face. “You want to try?”

Hao’s heart fluttered a little at the sight of Hanbin’s smile, the twinkle in his eyes all adventurous.

He was, to say, a little intrigued. 

“How?” He questioned. After all, he was pretty sure he was not allowed to join the tournament, nor did he really want his first attempt of shooting an arrow to be in front of the entire castle. 

Hanbin only smiled and pulled him along. 

A little offside the tournament, a small practice range had been built for contestants to get familiar with the wind conditions. Now it was left abandoned next to the actual shooting range, all attention on the ongoing competition. 

Hanbin let go of his arm to reach for the practice bow. Hao raised his eyebrow when Hanbin picked up an arrow as well.

“Have you ever shot an arrow?” Hao asked him.

It was a valid question. Hanbin’s family was involved in the trade, not in the guard. 

Instead of answering, Hanbin knocked the arrow, drew the bow and let go. The arrow hit the target perfectly in the middle. 

That answered Hao’s question.

“When my parents employed Jiwoong, they made him teach me everything,” Hanbin explained. “They think it is important for everybody to know how to defend themselves.”

Impressed by how easily Hanbin had pierced the arrow through the target, Hao took a step closer to him. Everyday, it felt like he learnt something new about Hanbin. 

Many years had passed since Hanbin had been the clumsy child trailing after Hao. In front of him stood a man, versed and skilled in many areas. It was so very attractive.

When Hao was close enough, Hanbin passed the bow to him, before retrieving another arrow for him.

Testingly, Hao pulled at the string, surprised to find it so sturdy and firm. It had looked so easy when Hanbin had done it earlier, but it actually required a lot of strength to bend the bow. 

When Hanbin handed him the arrow, Hao struggled to place it correctly while also aiming the bow at the target. 

In the end, his arrow landed hardly two meters away from his feet and his fingers hurt from how hard he had pulled at the bowstring. 

Hanbin chuckled at his first attempt, only making Hao pout at him. 

Quickly, Hanbin picked up his arrow from the ground, before walking back over to him. 

“Here, let me show you,” Hanbin said, stepping behind him and circling his hands around his waist. 

Heat flushed through Hao’s body as Hanbin touched his hands, raising the bow together with him. Hanbin’s chin was only centimeters away from his shoulder, his chest pressed lightly against his back. 

A pleasant shiver shot up Hao’s spine when Hanbin’s breath hit his neck. 

Hanbin quietly cleared his throat. 

“See, you take the arrow between these two fingers here,” he explained, showing Hao how to properly knock an arrow.

This time, Hao barely had to use any strength as Hanbin helped him draw the bow.

He heard Hanbin swallow. There was tension in the air.

“Now,” Hanbin said. “The important thing is to just let go as quickly as possible. Don’t push, just let the string slide off your fingers.”

Hao nodded, somehow not daring to speak. 

“Ready?” Hanbin asked. “On three. One, two-”

They let go of the arrow together. With a whipping sound it slashed through the air, landing just centimeters to the left of Hanbin’s earlier shot.

Hao exhaled shakily. He could still feel Hanbin’s body heat from how close they were standing, could still smell the scent of pinewood mixing with his own rosy one. 

Hanbin cleared his throat again. Then he stepped away, letting go of the bow and Hao’s hands.

“Not bad,” he complimented him, as if the shot had been any of Hao’s doing. 

It made Hao laugh. The sudden tension between them subsided at once, returning to the gentle feeling that usually accompanied him whenever he spoke with Hanbin. 

“Well, I had an outstanding teacher,” Hao told him, letting the bow sink.

His arms weren’t used to carrying anything other than books, so the bow was an unfamiliar weight, making his muscle strain. Hanbin was quick to relieve him of it, taking it back to put it down again. 

“You think so?” Hanbin asked him, scratching his neck as a blush tinted his cheeks pink. His voice sounded a bit too vulnerable to come off as casual. “You’re the first person I ever taught.”

Hao remembered Hanbin’s wish to become a teacher and not take over his parent’s duties. It was uncommon for people to abandon their family legacy to do their own thing - but Hao knew that Hanbin’s talents would be wasted continuing work he had no passion for. 

“What an honor to be your first student, then,” Hao said sincerely. “I’m sure many more will follow.”

Hanbin looked at him, at first surprised that Hao had so easily seen through him, but then he smiled coyly. 

“Thank you. I hope so,” Hanbin told him. “I already scheduled a meeting with my parents to tell them I want to quit. I’m afraid of how they’re going to react.”

Hao could understand Hanbin’s nerves. It could make you quite anxious, not knowing if you’d ever fulfill the expectations of your parents. However, after having met them personally, Hao couldn’t believe that Hanbin’s parents would be anything but supportive. 

He stepped closer to Hanbin so he could hold his hands. 

“It’s going to be fine,” he assured him. 

“You believe so?” Hanbin asked him, clearly torn inside. 

Hao gave his hands a squeeze. 

“I believe in you,” he said firmly. 

Hanbin’s eyes widened, looking at him in awe. 

The sound of applause disrupted the moment, making Hao startle. Hanbin laughed at his reaction. 

The shooting competition must’ve come to an end.

The crowd began moving again, this time back to the audience stands. The race tracks had been transformed to a small fighting arena, as the last part of the tournament would be a sword fight.

 

Hanbin intertwined their fingers as he moved them through the crowd again. 

They passed by the line of alphas signing up to join the last competition. 

Hao kept his head lowered as they walked around them, glad that his mother had kept his attire so plain today - but someone still noticed him. 

“Zhang Hao,” Yoon Seulchoo stepped into their way, grinning conceitedly. “Come to watch me?”

Next to him, he felt Hanbin’s body tense up at the unwanted company. However, they were surrounded by many other nobles and Hao really didn’t want to attract any more attention. 

“No,” he answered pointedly. “I’ve come to watch the tournament.”

Seulchoo snorted, expression turning all ugly. 

“Would you please step aside now?” Hanbin asked, voice polite yet dangerous at the same time. 

“What? You’re not competing at all today?” Seulchoo sneered, awfully confident for someone whose nose had been broken at their last encounter. “Afraid you’ll lose?”

Hanbin exhaled deeply. “You cannot provoke me. I simply have no need to prove myself in a tournament.”

Seulchoo’s eyes narrowed. “You sure I cannot provoke you?”

Hao could see how Hanbin’s jaw tensed, but otherwise he remained calm. 

Seulchoo’s grin only grew uglier.

“Hey, guys, listen up!” He yelled, making all other nobles turn their heads their way. 

Hao wanted to sink into the ground. So much for laying low today.

“I wanna make a bet with Lord Sung,” Seulchoo announced. 

That piqued the interest of the surrounding alphas, who eyed the exchange curiously. 

“I already told you, Lord Yoon, that you cannot provoke me,” Hanbin stated, not minding the sudden attention of his peers. 

Disregarding Hanbin, Seulchoo kept talking. “If Lord Sung wins, I’ll back off,” he said.

“And if you win?” Someone out of the group of noble alphas prompted. 

Seulchoo grinned. “Then I’m owed a kiss.” His gaze shifted from Hanbin back to Hao, who felt his heart freeze. “From Zhang Hao.”

“No,” Hanbin declined before Hao even had the chance to. 

“Coward,” Seulchoo shrugged. 

This time, Hanbin growled. Apparently there was one way to provoke him.

“Hao is not an object to be wagered,” he said. “Besides, you’re not courting him. Such a request is simply improper.”

“Refusing a challenge is basically admitting defeat,” Seulchoo declared. “Have you all heard that? Lord Sung admitted that I’m the stronger one.”

“I did no such thing!” Hanbin seethed through his teeth.

“Then just compete with me,” Seulchoo said. “If you win, I promise I’ll leave Zhang Hao alone.”

“We’re not betting on Hao,” Hanbin repeated heatedly. 

“You’re just afraid to lose,” Seulchoo retorted. “Afraid we’ll all find out just how unworthy you are of any omega’s attention. Especially not from such an expensive one as Zhang Hao.”

Hanbin growled. It was clear that Seulchoo was attacking his honor. 

Hao wasn’t sure what to do. Simply the idea of being a prize in a competition was nauseating. It was dehumanizing. Like Hao wasn’t a person who decided on his own whom he wanted to kiss.

“Give me a sword,” Hanbin stated coldly, letting go of his hand. “But we’re not betting on Hao. He is off-limits.”

“But where is the fun in a fight without any stakes?” Seulchoo taunted him. 

Hao’s insides twisted. He was done being treated like an object. He was not without a voice, he was not without wits. It was time he started using both.

“Enough,” Hao spoke up, even though it felt a bit weird to do so in front of so many people. His heart was beating rapidly as he felt all the stares in his back. “Hanbin is right. I am not a prize to be won, Lord Yoon.”

Seulchoo sneered in his direction. “Watch your tongue. Sooner or later, you’ll be mine.”

This time, Hanbin surged forward, only to be stopped by the competition coordinator. He must’ve noticed the rising tension and purposefully stepped between the two alphas.

“Keep that energy for the fight,” he told them sternly. “You two want to sign up for a direct challenge?”

Seulchoo grin was wicked. “Sure. Count me in.”

The coordinator nodded. “And you, Lord Sung?”

All eyes were on Hanbin as he gritted his teeth. “Yes. Put down my name.”

“Alright. You all line up again. Everyone who is not a noble alpha, please leave to take a seat.” He pointedly looked at Hao. 

Then he walked away, to sort out the order of the fights. 

Seulchoo smirked victoriously as he followed him to pick up his sword.

Hanbin let out a heavy sigh. 

He turned to Hao, expression torn up with guilt. “I’m sorry,” he spoke quickly. “I’m really sorry. I don’t know why I did that. Usually, I’m not so hot-headed. He just-”

“I know,” Hao interrupted him. After all, he had witnessed first hand just how dirty Seulchoo played to get people to do what he wanted. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not. I’m better than that. I don’t need to get into fights to prove my worth. Especially with such people,” Hanbin hissed. “I wanted to spend the entire day with you and now I’m caught up in this. I’m really sorry.”

“No, it’s really fine,” Hao assured him. “He questioned your honor.”

“It’s not about my honor. He just-” Hanbin let out a sharp breath. “I hate the way he talks about you. Like he thinks he can win you.”

Oh. Oh .

Hao took a step closer. He wasn’t sure what gave him the confidence to, but he raised his hand to caress over Hanbin’s cheek. Hanbin stared at him wide-eyed. 

“Well, in that case, there is only one thing you can do,” Hao told him, gaze all determined. “You better beat him.”

Hanbin looked star-struck, but then his gaze mirrored Hao’s own, full of determination. 

 

Before the coordinator could make his rounds again and notice Hao was still there, he let go of Hanbin’s face. He joined the remaining crowd who headed to the audience stands to watch the tournament. 

He was keeping watch for any familiar faces and exhaled in relief when he spotted Matthew within the throng of people.

Without Hanbin leading the way it was much harder to find your path in between the many moving bodies. Halfway there, Matthew noticed him as well, turning around to meet him on his way. 

“Hao! Did you get lost? What are you doing here in the back?” Matthew asked him once they had reached each other. “Shouldn't you be sitting up front with all the other nobles?”

Only now did Hao realize that they were surrounded by servants and guards. Instinctively he had made his way to the very back, not wanting to gather any attention. Apparently he was disregarding social rules and joining the spots reserved for everyone without proper standing. No wonder it was suddenly twice as crowded.

It wasn't like Hao was entirely wrong here. While he was allowed in the courting season to mingle with the nobles, he did not have any noble blood in his veins. 

Before Hao could explain his presence, they were joined by someone else. Kim Jiwoong, the Sung’s family guard, was looking at him curiously. 

“Hao? What are you doing here? Where's Hanbin? Shouldn't you be with him?” He asked him. 

Jiwoong seemed to hold enough authority in his guard uniform that people around them finally made some space, allowing them to breathe a bit more freely. 

“Hanbin has joined the tournament,” Hao explained to them. “We had to separate. I didn't know these seats were reserved.”

“What? I thought he didn't want to join,” Jiwoong frowned. 

Hao all too vividly remembered just how Hanbin had been coaxed to enter the competition. 

“He was challenged to a swordfight and had no choice,” he told them. 

“Challenged?” Matthew seemed excited. “Who challenged him? What did they want?”

Hao swallowed bitterly. But there was no sugarcoating it. 

“It was Lord Yoon,” Hao answered. “And he wanted me.”

Matthew gasped, excitement shifting into utter appallment. Jiwoong's frown deepened as well.

“Lord Yoon should just get banned from all courting events! He's been really out of line this season!” Matthew complained all upset. “He really needs to stop this weird obsession he has with you!”

“Don't speak so loudly,” Jiwoong scolded him, eyeing the people around them warily. 

Lord Yoon was still a noble from a powerful family and insulting him openly could have ugly consequences. Luckily, nobody around them paid any attention to their conversation. 

“It's true!” Matthew argued. “Don't tell me you think it's right for an alpha to wager on an omega! We're not living in the middle ages anymore!”

Jiwoong sighed, rubbing his forehead. “I'm not saying I'm not sharing your sentiment,” he said. “But I've told you many times you need to be careful with your words. I don't want you to get into danger over your loose tongue.”

Matthew rolled his eyes. “Don't worry. I know who I can trust.”

Jiwoong exhaled as he shook his head. This seemed to have been a common conversation topic between them. Hao hadn't known before that Jiwoong and Matthew were so familiar with each other, but it made sense, as they were both working for the Sung family. 

At that moment, the first two men entered the fighting arena, prompting the crowd to cheer. Their swords shimmered dangerously underneath the sunlight. For the first time, Hao realized that they'd be fighting with real weapons. Dangerous weapons.

He gulped, his guts twisting painfully. He had encouraged Hanbin to fight, but maybe he should've talked him out of it. It was a meaningless competition after all. Hao had already made his choice, and some tournament wouldn't make him change his mind. But now there was the possibility of Hanbin getting hurt just because of him. 

Would Lord Yoon even hold back in the fight? Hao couldn't see him fight fair. 

Hanbin had told him he had been trained in fighting, but somehow Hao couldn't envision the gentle, kind man he knew in that way. 

He turned to Jiwoong, who was watching the first fight unfold with furrowed eyebrows and an analytical gaze.

“Jiwoong,” he tried to get his attention, and the guard snapped his head around to look at him. “Hanbin told me you've trained with him. How good is he with a sword?”

To his surprise, Jiwoong began smirking. “The sword is Hanbin's weapon of choice.” He must've noticed Hao's concern, because he added. “You need not worry about him.”

Despite the reassurance, Hao couldn't help but feel sickly as he watched the first fight come to an end as one man brought the other to his knees.

“Hanbin is tougher than he looks,” Matthew told him, playfully nudging him in his side. “He's gonna do extra well now that he has someone to show off to.”

Hao blushed at the teasing comment, but even his flustered state couldn't overshadow his rising nerves as he observed the next few fights. 

 

He must've chewed half the skin off his lips by the time Hanbin finally entered. His gaze was focused as he got into position, sword resting comfortably in the palm of his hand.

Seulchoo was strutting in behind him, leisurely swinging his own sword around as he waved to the cheering crowd. 

This time, it was announced that the fight was due to a direct challenge, which only seemed to make the enthusiasm of the audience grow. 

Hao really didn't care about the challenge. All he wanted was for Hanbin to make it out unscarred. He reached for Matthew beside him, squeezing his hand once he found it. 

Hao was so tense, he was holding his breath as the coordinator instructed both alphas to raise their swords. It seemed like time had stopped. 

Hanbin's eyes were grazing over the heads of the crowds and Hao's heart stopped when they landed on him. It lasted for a fraction of a second only, before he shifted his gaze back to Seulchoo, fully focused on the upcoming fight. 

Then the starting signal of the whistle resonated through the gardens. 

Hao wished he could close his eyes until it was over, but he couldn't tear his eyes away, fearfully awaiting the end of the fight. 

Seulchoo made the first strike, surging towards Hanbin with his sword raised high. The sound of the iron meeting iron made Hao flinch. 

Hanbin seemed unperturbed, meeting each of Seulchoo's strokes with ease, almost as if this was a dance for him he had perfected over years of practice. 

As Hao continued to watch his flawless moves, he reckoned that perhaps he had. 

Next to him, Matthew kept cheering on his friend, hollering whenever Seulchoo had to parry one of Hanbin's attacks. 

It soon became evident who had the upper hand in the fight, as Seulchoo seemed to lose more and more of his composure, posture getting sloppier with each stroke. Meanwhile Hanbin seemed barely out of breath.

On a last desperate attempt, Seulchoo threw his entire body forward, throwing Hanbin momentarily off balance. The tip of Seulchoo’s sword grazed Hanbin's face, before Hanbin quickly ducked away to avoid any further injury. 

Hao felt like his entire body was pulled apart. There was a cut on Hanbin's cheek now, little drops of blood falling on his neat shirt. Seulchoo seemed to say something to him, but Hao was too far away to hear it. Something in Hanbin's eyes changed. 

“That was a mistake,” Jiwoong muttered underneath his breath. 

Before Hao could ask what he had meant, he saw it with his own eyes. 

It seemed like Hanbin had finally deemed the fight long enough. With two well-executed strokes, the sword was knocked out of Seulchoo’s hand, flying through the air in an almost artful arch. Expertly, Hanbin caught it with his free hand. 

Seulchoo was seething in anger as he was now defenseless. The crowd roared, the fight so obviously over with a more than deserving winner. 

Hao felt like he was two seconds away from fainting. Relief flooded his entire body. He inhaled deeply, only noticing now how shallowly he had been breathing during the match. 

After being officially declared the winner, Hanbin threw Seulchoo's sword to his feet. He didn’t bow to him - Hao reckoned Seulchoo might be one of the few people Hanbin did not bow to. Not regarding Suulchoo another glance, Hanbin turned around to exit the fight area. 

Hao's brain switched back on. 

He pulled at Matthew's sleeve. “Hanbin. Where can I meet him?” 

Matthew was smiling widely, still celebrating his friend's victory. 

“Oh, I'm not sure you're allowed back there. You might have to wait until the entire tournament is over,” Matthew let him know. 

Hao couldn’t wait that long. There were still many fights left until an overall winner could be decided. Jiwoong sensed his impatience. 

“Come with me. I’m sure I can find a way,” he offered his help kindly.

“Really?” Hao asked. He had not spent much time alone with Jiwoong so far, but everything he had learnt about the guard only made his respect for him grow. 

“Just follow me,” Jiwoong smiled, already looking for a way out of the stands. He turned to Matthew before they left. “Don’t cause any trouble. I’ll not be here to clean up your mess every time.”

Matthew scowled at him, but underneath Jiwoong’s sharp gaze, he relented.

With Jiwoong leading the way, it was much easier to maneuver through the sea of bodies. He kept his head low and walked closely behind the guard’s back.

Soon they reached the stairs, heading down to the gardens. The heat immediately resided once there were no longer dozens of bodies pressed against him. Hao inhaled greedily. The mixture of different scents had been intense, the fresh air feeling like salvation in comparison. 

“This way,” Jiwoong told him, walking behind the stands. 

There was enough space for them to walk next to each other now. Hardly anybody was not watching the tournament up in the stands, only a few straying souls relishing in the sun around them. 

“Can I ask you something?” Hao asked, glad he didn’t have to strain his voice any more to be heard. 

Jiwoong hummed in approval. 

“What did you mean earlier? When you told Matthew not to stir up any trouble?” 

Hao had many reasons to ask that. One of them was that perhaps, he was currently very much involving Matthew in something that very potentially would stir up a lot of trouble. 

Jiwoong cracked a smile. “Matthew is very head-strong. He came to the castle late, he didn’t grow up with all the customs, he forgets his manners at times. He doesn’t always understand how consequential his actions could be if he’s not careful.”

Hao could see the truth in Jiwoong’s words. Matthew was never shy to speak his mind, words often unpolished, but in a sense also the most honest. Hao admired that about him. 

“You help him with that?” He wondered out loud. “His manners?”

“I’m not noble, but I’ve lived among nobles many years. I know how easily they can be offended,” Jiwoong said. “I’ve learnt that the hard way.”

That only spiked Hao’s curiosity more. “The hard way?”

Jiwoong glanced at him. “Hanbin’s right. You are very smart. Nothing slips past you.”

“I don’t want to be intrusive,” Hao quickly recoiled, but Jiwoong shook his head. 

“It’s fine. I’ve already told you that I’ve been enrolled in the guard at a very young age. I dared to speak up to one of the noble alpha’s once for what I believed to be unfair treatment, and he threatened to kick me out of the castle for it,” Jiwoong recounted the story to him. “Luckily, around that time, the Sung family noticed me and asked for me to be assigned to train their son.”

Something connected in Hao’s brain. “Did they ask for Matthew to be assigned to them as well?”

Jiwoong smiled again. “No. I did,” he replied. “Or, I asked Hanbin, and Hanbin asked his parents. Fortunately, they were very open to the idea as soon as they met Matthew in person.”

“Does Matthew know?” Hao asked him. “That you’ve been caring for him all this time?”

Jiwoong turned his head away, staring at his feet instead. “There is not much I can do to protect him. But I’m a guard. I enjoy certain privileges that Matthew doesn’t have. I’m happy to do it quietly.”

Because Matthew is still an omega, Hao added in his head. Neither Jiwoong nor Matthew came from powerful families, and yet that was something Jiwoong would always have that Matthew didn’t. 

“Matthew’s really brave,” Hao stated, thinking about all the times Matthew had stuck his head out for him to retrieve information from places Hao had no access to. 

“I know,” Jiwoong agreed right away, before sighing. “That’s why I’m looking out for him in the first place.”

His voice sounded very tender. Hao seriously wondered if Matthew knew how deeply Jiwoong seemed to care about him. 

“Here we are,” Jiwoong suddenly stopped walking. 

Hao looked around surprised. He hadn’t even noticed that they had walked around the entire arena once. They were back at the spot where Hanbin had been challenged in the first place. However, the line of alphas waiting to fight was now gone. Underneath the stands was a small room where they must’ve all gathered inside.

The door looked tightly locked, but Jiwoong walked ahead unafraid. 

“Wait here, I’ll call him for you,” Jiwoong let him know, pointing for Hao to wait out of sight.

Hao did as told, leaning against the wood of the audience stands. Above him he could hear the sound of feet stomping, cheers and applause. 

 

It only took a little bit of arguing until Jiwoong was allowed inside, and then a few more minutes until he reemerged together with Hanbin. 

Hao’s heart skipped a beat when his eyes landed upon him. It had hardly been an hour since they had parted ways and yet he had already yearned to be in his presence once more. 

“Seriously, thanks for getting me out of there. I’ve told them multiple times I don’t want to compete further, but they wouldn't let me leave,” Hanbin spoke to Jiwoong. 

“Don’t thank me. It wasn’t my idea to see you,” Jiwoong smirked, nodding his head towards Hao. 

Hanbin’s eyes widened as he spotted him, then his lips formed a soft smile. At least Hao wasn’t the only one who had missed someone. 

“I’ll excuse myself then,” Jiwoong said, casually leaving them on their own. 

Hanbin quickly closed the distance between them.

“Hao, are you alright? I realized only too late I should’ve at least found Taerae or your mother before I left you alone,” Hanbin asked him. 

“No, I’m fine, really, I found Matthew and then Jiwoong,” Hao quickly assured him. There was no reason for Hanbin to worry about him. There was still a cut fresh on his cheek, the bleeding not yet having stopped. That was what they needed to worry about. “You’re injured.”

As if only remembering now, Hanbin raised his fingers to his cheeks, wincing when the touch stung him. 

“Right, that was a stupid mistake. I’m usually not that careless,” Hanbin told him. 

Hao huffed in disbelief. “Careless?” He repeated. “Hanbin you were…” Hao was left with no words. The way Hanbin had fought made him speechless. “I didn’t know you were so good with a sword.”

Hanbin smiled, pleased at the praise. “I’ve told you before, I’m not that little boy anymore that used to trail after you, hoping you’d turn around and look at him.”

“You’re not,” Hao confirmed. That much was very clear. Hanbin still possessed the same kindness, the same curiosity, the same warmth. But he was a man now. 

And Hao was very much looking at him. That, too, had changed.

“Is that okay?” Hanbin asked him, voice a little uncertain now. 

“It’s impressive,” Hao replied, making Hanbin’s smile return. There was a pink flush in his cheeks as well. It would’ve been a lovely sight if not for the very obvious drop of red running down to Hanbin’s chin. 

Before Hanbin could wipe it with his hand, Hao stopped him by holding it down. 

“Please, let me take care of this,” he said. 

Hanbin looked starstruck, simply nodding and granting Hao’s request.

“Let’s leave then,” Hao said. “I do not wish to stay here any longer.”

“Me neither,” Hanbin agreed right away. 

 

This time, it was Hao who was leading the way. 

They left the noise of the tournament behind them as they headed back to the castle. With one goal in mind, Hao made his way to the scholar’s quarters. Hanbin followed him like a little lamb. It was fun to see this stark contrast to the man fighting just moments ago.

He pushed the door to his room open, letting Hanbin step inside first. There were still a few things strewn around from his earlier preparations, but otherwise he kept his room pretty tidy. Luckily, the coat Hanbin had lent him was hidden securely underneath his sheets, otherwise Hao would’ve probably been too embarrassed to continue.

“Sit down,” Hao instructed Hanbin, pointing to his bed. 

The pink flush on Hanbin’s cheeks deepened, going down his neck. 

“I’d rather sit down here,” he said, walking over to the desk chair. “I don’t want to be improper.”

Hao almost laughed. It wasn’t like his bed was an intimate space, only a pillow and sheets that had recently been washed - so they probably didn’t even smell like him that much. 

Still, he respected Hanbin’s decision. 

“Suit yourself,” he said, heading to the small bathroom attached to his bedroom. He wet a towel and searched for some bandages. 

Hanbin was nervously tapping his feet, eyes darting around the room. He had never been in here for long, Hao realized. Suddenly, he could understand Hanbin’s nervous demeanor much better, as he imagined what he would act like stepping into Hanbin’s private bedroom. 

The thought alone managed to make heat rise to his cheeks. 

He cleared his throat, stepped in front of Hanbin and leaned down. 

“Sit still, I’m going to clean your cut,” Hao told him, carefully bringing the towel up to Hanbin’s face. 

They had never been this close before. Hanbin’s skin was so smooth, the rosy undertones much more visible this close. As his fingers grazed beneath his ear, he also noticed just how soft his skin was. The faint scent of pinewood lingered on him, always so pleasant and calming. 

Hao tore his gaze away to shyly meet Hanbin’s eyes. The alpha was looking up at him in awe, seemingly inspecting him just as much. 

What did Hanbin see? 

Overcome with insecurity, he retreated back - but he didn’t get far. 

Hanbin’s hands had risen to the small of his back, keeping him in place. 

“H-hanbin?” Hao questioned when Hanbin didn’t let him move. 

Instead, he was urged closer. His knees knocked against the chair and he stumbled forward, planting himself in Hanbin’s lap.

A hot flush spread through his body as his breath hitched. 

Hanbin’s eyes were intense as he looked up at him. 

So much for being proper.

Flustered beyond belief, Hao tried his best to keep going. He replaced the towel in his hand with the bandages. Carefully he covered the cut on Hanbin’s cheek. Like this he looked almost cute. 

Done with his care, Hao tried to get back up again, but Hanbin was still holding him close. 

This time, Hao couldn’t hold back a comment. “What happened to being proper?”

At least, Hanbin had the decency to blush, smiling sheepishly. 

“You’re so pretty,” he told him. “Let me look just a moment longer.”

Hao’s ears were ringing. Not knowing where to place his hands now that they were no longer occupied cleaning Hanbin’s wound, they awkwardly settled on Hanbin’s shoulders. They were surprisingly firm and strong. 

Coyly, he ducked his head. “Have you looked long enough now?”

“It’s never long enough,” Hanbin denied. “I’ve been waiting so long for this, you have no idea. Some days, I can’t believe I finally get to have you looking back at me.”

Hao’s heart fluttered. He almost didn’t dare to ask. “H-how long?”

Hanbin smiled tenderly. “I knew you were special the moment I laid my eyes on you for the first time. I didn’t understand it back then, but I do now. Even when you were gone, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Hao swallowed. He hadn’t known about that. Had Hanbin really liked him since they were children? It felt impossible. That was such a long time to harbour such fond feelings for someone else.

“That’s a long time.”

“I would’ve waited even longer,” Hanbin declared and he sounded so sincere, Hao had no choice but to believe him. 

His eyes dropped down to Hanbin’s lips. They were so temptingly close. So close. He leaned in a little. 

He wasn’t brave enough. 

Shyly, he pressed a kiss to Hanbin’s cheek instead, just above where he had placed the bandage. 

His heart was pounding wildly when he pulled away. 

Hanbin was staring at him, mesmerized. 

The grip on his back finally loosened up a little, and Hao took the opportunity to get up from Hanbin’s lap. Otherwise…he wouldn’t have known what would’ve happened. 

He heard Hanbin suck in a deep breath, before he too, stood up. 

They looked at each other, before shyly looking away again. 

“Uhm…thanks for today. I had fun. Despite…the ending,” Hanbin broke the silence first. “Erm, I hope your mother doesn’t take it too badly that we left early. I would love to accompany you to the next ball as well.”

“I’d love that, too,” Hao quickly said. Even if his mother insisted on being his chaperone again, he would find a way to be with Hanbin in the end. 

“Good,” Hanbin said. “And…erm…thanks for the whole…erm…the-” he pointed to his cheek. 

Hao nodded. While he was still flustered himself, it was quite endearing to see what effect such a simple thing as a kiss had on Hanbin as well. At least, they were equally smitten with each other.

“I’ll leave then,” Hanbin said, now pointing to the door. “To…er…get some rest. I’ll see you?”

“Mhh,” Hao hummed, smiling at Hanbin. His heart felt so incredibly fond. “Find me soon. And rest well.”

Hanbin lingered at his door for a moment longer, apparently caught up in looking at him again. 

‘It’s never long enough ’ it shot through Hao’s mind. Of course, Hanbin meant everything he said. 

Once he gathered enough willpower to tear his gaze away, Hanbin opened the door and swiftly let himself out. 

Hao sighed loudly, dropping to his bed. A giddy laugh left his lips. 

Was this what being in love felt like?

Notes:

Hao: Hanbin would never hurt a fly

Hanbin: I would fight the world for you

 

lol thanks for leading!! thank you for all your lovely comments, i love chatting with you!!
everybody stay safe and healthy :33

Chapter 14: Protea

Summary:

protea. known for their beauty; represent love, romance, unity and passion

Notes:

wahahah many fun things happening in this one hope you enjoy :3

Hao was hot. The season had fully changed from mild spring to burning summer. 

It was too hot to move and so Hao laid motionless in his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was like the heat had made time slow down, melting and stretching around him. He could spot the little dust particles in the air moving in slow motion. Even through his blue tinted windows the heat of the sunlight was building far too quickly, making him sweat and stick to his sheets. 

It was still early in the day, the only reason Hao hadn’t yet motivated himself to get out of bed and jump into a cold bath. Instead, like a dumpling in a steamer, he let himself be coated by heat. 

Even the coat that Hanbin had borrowed him so many weeks ago, that he occasionally secretly took to bed with him, he had tossed over his chair instead, not standing the extra warmth it brought. 

Just because he could he tried to pick out the scent of pinewood from it and a pleasant cold shiver traveled down his body when he did. 

Maybe he should’ve indulged in the coat after all. 

 

Before Hao’s heat-fried brain could further trail off, he was forced out of bed by a knock on his door. He sighed, rubbing some of the sweat off his forehead and rolled himself out of his sheets. 

He was only supposed to meet Taerae and Matthew in the afternoon, but he suspected one of them to be the culprit. 

When he had shuffled his way to the door, he was surprised to see his theory falsified. 

Gunwook was giving him a crooked smile as he gazed down on him. 

“Lord Zhang,” he bowed his head. “I came to return your book.”

Hao needed a moment to catch up with reality, the heat making thinking so much harder. 

“Gunwook!” He quickly bowed back. “Sorry, I didn’t expect you. I must look unruly.”

“You look very pretty,” Gunwook shook his head. “I’m sorry to wake you.”

“No, I was awake already,” Hao said, deciding to ignore the white lie Gunwook gifted him with. After all, Gunwook was just being polite. “Do you mind waiting while I freshen up a little?”

“Not at all!” Gunwook smiled, revealing his pink gums. “I’ll wait right here!”

“Oh no, come inside and sit down. I’ll just be a minute,” Hao said, waving Gunwook inside. 

Gunwook hesitated for a second. He must’ve never been invited into someone’s chambers in the castle, but Hao liked Gunwook and didn’t care much for maintaining hierarchies. He was not a noble himself, after all. Upon Hao’s insistence, Gunwook entered his room. 

“Take a seat,” Hao gestured to the chair behind his desk, quickly removing Hanbin’s coat from it and throwing it on his bed. “I’ll be right back.”

Gunwook nodded, thankfully not commenting on the coat. Hao swiftly hurried into his small bathroom. 

He took the quickest bath in his life, soaking his skin in ice cold water and scrubbing the sweat away. It did wonders for his body and mind, the refreshing cool allowing him to think more clearly again. 

Dressed in light summer robes, he joined Gunwook back in his bedroom. 

Gunwook was fiddling with his thumbs as he waited, face lighting up when he noticed that Hao was back. 

“Sorry, I’m feeling much better now,” Hao apologized, taking a seat on his bed. 

“No worries, you didn’t know I was coming,” Gunwook was quick to say. “I put your flowers in the vase over there. It’s a Protea.”

“Thank you so much. It’s beautiful,” Hao said, only now spotting the flower on his desk. It was truly unique with red and pink petals. Hanbin had never sent him the same flowers twice so far, always picking something different to surprise Hao with. Hao loved learning more about all different types of flowers.  

Gunwook cleared his throat. “I wanted to thank you again for the book. I really enjoyed reading it.”

Hao shook his head as he accepted the book Gunwook was handing him back. “That was nothing. I’m glad you liked it.”

“Did your father really write it?” Gunwook asked him curiously. 

“Mhh,” Hao nodded, delighted to see Gunwook so interested in literature. He reminded him of a young Hao. “That’s one of his earlier works.”

“Did he write about other things than flowers, too?” Gunwook asked, eyes sparkling with thirst for knowledge. “Not that I don’t like reading about flowers, but it’s all I see every day.”

Hao laughed, finding Gunwook endearing. There surely was a bright head resting on those broad shoulders. 

“He did. You might have heard of it,” Hao answered him truthfully. “It’s called ‘ A distribution of health and wealth ’. It’s more on the philosophical and political side.”

Gunwook’s eyes widened in awe. “Your father wrote that! I’ve heard about its influence, but I’ve never gotten to read it myself!”

Hao had to smile. His father’s work had truly reached everyone, from the King to a farmboy. Perhaps reaching the farmboy was even more important, as those were the people who had been really impacted. It was so meaningful to witness his father’s wisdom spread even beyond his grave. 

Gunwook gave him a shy look. “Do you carry a version of it here in the castle? And if so, would it be possible to borrow it?”

Hao had to laugh at Gunwook’s enthusiasm. 

“We do and it’s very much possible,” Hao said, always happy to make the work of his father more known across the kingdom. 

“I promise I will return it to you safely in a timely manner!” Gunwook said eagerly. “I will take the best care of it.”

“I have no doubt about that,” Hao replied fondly. Simply by the way Gunwook had carried the book he knew he honored the written word like no one else. “I’d be interested to hear what you think about it.”

Gunwook looked surprised. “You’d want my opinion on your father’s work?”

“Yes,” Hao confirmed. “Philosophy is there to be discussed. It’s important to voice your thoughts.”

Gunwook made a confused noise. Apparently nobody had ever told him that before. “Even someone like me?”

Somehow, a little piece of Hao’s heart broke. Again, he saw himself in Gunwook, feeling unworthy to even express an opinion. Who would even listen to a nobody like him? Like it’d matter. 

But it did matter. To Hao, it did matter. Everyone mattered. That’s what his father’s works had all been about. And so Hao would listen.

“Especially someone like you,” he told Gunwook, full of conviction.

Gunwook looked a little stunned at the statement. 

Hao got up from his bed. “Shall we go get it then? I’m sure you have to return home soon.”

Gunwook nodded eagerly, following Hao like a little lamb as he took him to the library. 

Nothing made him happier than handing the book to Gunwook, who skipped his way out of the castle, the book securely tucked underneath his arms. He couldn’t wait to discuss it with him once he returned.

 

Now that his day had officially started, Hao remembered how much he actually had planned for today. 

First off - meeting his mother. Probably the part he looked the least forward to. 

She hadn’t been overly pleased with him and Hanbin after the tournament. After all, Hanbin shouldn’t have fought in the first place - and then they had left early, even before the victors had been announced. 

The only thing that had calmed her nerves had been the fact that Hanbin had won his duel, which in her words, proved that Hao only deserved to be courted by the most skillful alpha. Therefore, luckily, it had not damaged his reputation at court. 

Hao was only happy that she hadn’t heard about Shen Ricky speaking with him. Hao hadn’t told anybody about that conversation, because in hindsight, it felt very surreal that a prince had spoken with him. Shen Ricky also hadn’t approached him ever since and Hao knew better than to request to see him. He knew his place.

He made his way over to his mother’s chambers. Even the short walk across the scholar’s yard made him sweat, the sun burning bright on the spots of his skin that weren’t covered by his clothes. Once he reached his mother’s doorstep, he thought he could almost take another bath right away. 

He knocked on the door and was pulled inside the room not long after. 

To his surprise, his mother’s bedroom was much tidier than when he had last seen it. Because she had no workplace at the castle, she had stored all of Hao’s robes in her chambers, altering and sewing them on her own in her freetime. 

Now, there were no robes in sight, no needles and pins and various fabrics strewn across all surface areas. 

Instead, two suitcases stood neatly packed in the middle of the room. 

Hao made a confused noise. 

“I have woken up feeling quite light-headed the past few days,” his mother explained without further ado. “I think it’s time I retreat to the cottage for a few days until my flu has passed.”

Realization hit Hao. It was summer now. Flu season, as his mother liked to call it. Suddenly, the weird sensation he’d been feeling in the mornings made a lot more sense to him. It was not only the heat from outside affecting him. The heat was also coming from within him.

He felt a little whiplashed by the unexpected topic of conversation. He had expected to get another lecture about courting rituals again and how important it was now to adhere to propriety - not this.

His mother had always been uncomfortable discussing such intimate things with him ever since he had presented as an omega. Of course, Hao had been educated about everything he needed to know by her. But neither of them liked going into detail about this most private of affairs. 

So, Hao was more than fine believing his mother was truly fighting a flu and not going into heat. 

“I understand,” Hao quickly said, avoiding eye-contact.

“The carriage is going to pick me up in the afternoon, so I wanted to discuss a few things with you before I leave.”

Hao nodded at her to go ahead.

“According to my sources, the next ball is not going to take place until next month, once everyone’s…flu has passed,” his mother started. “So you should be fine here. I should be back here in a few days. I expect you to act properly. You should also inform Hanbin about my temporary absence. He should know that even without a chaperone around, I won’t tolerate any further missteps from him and I will find out about them.”

Hao nodded along. He was happy his mother trusted him enough to let him stay at the castle while she was gone. There was too much he needed to do here. Not to forget that being forced away from Hanbin sounded everything but appealing to him in the moment. 

“Also, once I’m back, I think we should discuss your flu,” his mother spoke quickly. “It might be best for you to retreat to the cottage as well. So, please be careful and inform me if you start to notice any symptoms.”

Hao nodded again, feeling very awkward. He knew why they never talked about these things. Somehow, it was very embarrassing. 

“If there is an emergency, you can reach me via letter,” his mother seemed to put an end to their one-sided discussion. 

“Anything else?” Hao asked to be sure. 

His mother bid down on her lip. “Stay away from Lord Yoon and his son.”

Hao blinked. He hadn’t expected that. 

Of course, after Hanbin had fought Seulchoo publicly, his mother had inquired about the nature of their relationship. Hao had reluctantly told her about his improper approaches. His mother had obviously not been thrilled to find out, but she hadn’t said anything about it thus far. Hao had thought since Hanbin had won the duel, she had deemed the issue settled. 

That didn’t seem to be the case after all. 

It did remind Hao of the one conversation he had with Seulchoo’s father, Lord Yoon senior. His mother had to recognize that name. It was the name that was written on his father’s will. 

Hao was so curious about what she was thinking at the moment. As always, his mother knew so many secrets that she would never share with him - leaving Hao to search for the truth on his own. 

In the past, he would’ve never dared to ask, but today, he felt brave. 

“Why? What do you know about Lord Yoon?” Hao asked her, studying her expression carefully. 

She didn’t let her mask slip. 

“He was being unruly to you. Isn’t that enough reason to stay as far away as possible?” She told him sternly. 

Hao knew there was more that she didn’t want to admit. 

“What about his father? Lord Yoon senior?” He questioned. 

His mother’s gaze darkened. 

“The Yoons are a powerful family,” she said coldly. “They’ve never brought fortune to our family.”

Hao’s breath hitched. It was vague, but it was enough for him. There was a history there. Between their family and the Yoon family. Just in what way were they connected?

“You will stay away from them,” his mother told him, leaving no way for arguments. 

“I promise,” Hao agreed. Personally, he wasn’t really keen on being in a five mile radius of Seulchoo. It would be an easy promise to keep. 

“Good,” his mother said. “You can leave now, that’s all. I will finish packing and be back in a few days.”

Hao didn’t need to be dismissed twice. 

 

As he made his way to his father’s study for his next meeting, his thoughts kept roaming. He had always suspected his mother to know more than she let on. He wondered if he could be patient enough, will she eventually tell him about what had truly happened over ten years ago?

For now though, he was on his own. 

Well, not completely. 

It was still early noon as Hao entered his father’s study, cautiously locking the door behind him once he was inside. He expected Matthew and Taerae in only a few hours, which left him enough time to think some more. 

However, before he could retrieve The Rose Project from its hiding place, an off sensation overcame him. Something was off. He looked around the room. 

Had someone moved the desk? Just a few inches? Hao frowned. 

There was also an unfamiliar aroma in the air, something fruity and tropical. He didn’t recognize the scent. 

Had someone been in here? No, that couldn’t be true. Apart from him, nobody had a key. The only people he had given said key to had been Taerae and Matthew, so that they could come here and read in peace. 

Perhaps, one of them had moved the desk. That was the only logical thing that made sense. The scent, however…

Maybe it was coming from outside? It was summer now, after all, and their kingdom harvested many fruits once the temperatures rose enough. It must’ve traveled up here from the scholar’s yard, where they planted many fruit trees.

Hao shook his head. Yes, that was a logical explanation. He needed to stop being paranoid. 

After his mysterious conversation with Lord Yoon on the castle tower, nobody had suspected a thing over what he was up to. This space was safe. 

Inhaling deeply, Hao shook off his nerves and knelt onto the floor to move the one loose tile. The Rose Project still laid hidden underneath the ground. Everything was normal. 

He brought the scriptures to the desk and moved the loose tile back in place. 

All three of them had finally finished going through all the scriptures and letters and decided to meet up to discuss the findings today. Hao used the spare time he had by coming early to skim over the most important passages again, noting down the questions he had left. 

In his head, he already had a few ideas on how he wanted to proceed, but he wanted to talk about them first with Matthew and Taerae. It was not only his head on the line for this, after all. 

 

A few hours later, his brain was steaming and his stomach was rumbling, reminding Hao that he hadn’t eaten all day. Just on time, there was a knock on his door. 

He jumped out of his chair, turning the key around and swiftly let his friends inside. As if Matthew had read his mind, he was carrying a tray with sandwiches and fruits. After checking the hallway - nobody in sight - Hao closed the door again. 

“Thanks for coming,” Hao greeted them as they settled around his father’s desk. 

It was nice seeing them back in here. It only felt right to do this together. Matthew and Taerae had walked with him since the beginning and he couldn’t be more grateful for their support.

“Of course, I feel like it’s been ages since The Rose Project met up!” Matthew grinned, setting down the food he had brought. 

“Well, we’ve all been busy,” Taerae said, picking up a sandwich first. “But yes, it’s been a while. I think it’s good that we’re back here to speak about how to proceed.”

Hao nodded. “I agree,” he said. “But first I wanted to hear your view on my father’s research.”

Taerae leaned back with a sigh. “Well, it’s astounding, isn’t it? All this injustice is engraved in our laws and structures. I always thought the problem was just those rare close-minded people with such views, but it is a systemic issue.”

“It’s insane!” Matthew agreed, bubbling with energy. “I’ve been subjected to some of these laws without even knowing about them! Back when I came to work for the castle, I had to get my father’s permission. I always thought it was because I wasn’t an adult yet, not because I was an omega.”

“I was quite shocked to learn about that as well. It seems so outdated that omegas need to get permission to work from an alpha,” Taerae hummed in agreement. “I don’t even understand why that’s even a rule.”

Hao was glad to see his friends on the same page. It was not just him and his father who were outraged by the injustice enforced in their law. 

He took a deep breath.

“Because they don’t want us in power,” Hao stated calmly. “That is why we cannot work in powerful positions, why we can’t work at all without permission. That’s why we aren’t allowed to own fortune or property. Because money is power and land is power, and we are not supposed to have power.”

It was silent for a moment. Hao knew that his words had been strong, but after reading through all of The Rose Project, this was what it came down to. He had thought long and hard about it, but it all circled back to this one explanation. The people in charge didn’t want to share their power. It wasn’t right. His father had seen that. 

“Couldn’t have said it better,” Taerae said after a while. “It’s quite infuriating to think about.”

“It’s madness!” Matthew argued. “It’s not like we are not as smart as any other alpha!”

“Mhh,” Hao hummed thoughtfully. “The question is, now that we have all this knowledge, what do we do with it?”

His gaze had been focused on the scripture on the desk. Only when he raised his head did he notice that Taerae and Matthew were both looking at him expectantly.

Taerae inhaled sharply. “I think it’s up to you. These are your scriptures. You can do whatever you want with them.”

Matthew nodded along. Somehow, it filled Hao with pride, seeing both his friends trust him with this explosive knowledge. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Hao said, because of course he had been. There was practically nothing else he did. It was in his very nature to think and think and think some more. “I’ve only wanted to find out what has happened to my father. It led me to this.”

“So we have a motive now,” Matthew concluded for him. “Someone knew about this and wanted your father to stop working on it.”

Hao hesitated before saying his next words. It was a heavy accusation to make. 

“I think the Yoon family might have something to do with it.”

Lord Yoon’s words on the tower, Seulchoo acting on behalf of his father and his mother’s ominous warning this morning - it all meant something. It was all connected. 

As of now, it might be more of a gut feeling than a logical conclusion, but the Yoon family was involved in whatever he had uncovered. 

To his surprise, Taerae nodded right away. “Actually, I was thinking the same thing. Ever since you told me about Lord Yoon approaching you on the eastern tower, I felt like something wasn’t right. It couldn’t have been a coincidence.”

“He also told his son to watch out for me. And my mother alluded to the Yoon family bringing misfortune to us,” Hao added what had fueled his suspicions. 

“They have a bad vibe as well,” Matthew agreed. 

Hao sighed. “But we have no proof. We cannot simply accuse them. It could mean our end.”

After all, Lord Yoon was a powerful man and his father’s death was over ten years ago. Nobody would believe him. It would be his words against the one of a nobleman.

“So we need to find proof,” Taerae concluded, full of determination. 

“But where do we start looking?” Matthew asked. “Could we even find something after so much time?”

It was a valid concern. One that had plagued Hao’s mind most nights as well. A gut feeling simply wasn’t enough for him. He needed evidence that supported his claim. That’s how scholar’s worked, that’s how science worked.

“Actually, I think The Rose Project is a good starting point,” Hao said, opening the scripture and flipping to the page he wanted to point out. “There were many lists of names in here as well.”

“Yeah, your father kept track of all the people working in the castle. He used it to point out how there was a lack of omegas in all higher ranking positions,” Taerae remembered. “What about them?”

“You are right. But there is one list that has no label. I wanted to ask you if you recognize any of the names on here,” Hao said, finally having found the page. 

 

Park Gunhee

Kim Sejun

Jang Solhee

Min Rei

Kim Taejoon?

 

Hao waited as both his friends read over the short list. Taerae’s eyes widened first. 

“Kim Taejoon,” he whispered. “That’s my father’s name.”

Now Matthew also looked surprised. “Really?”

Taerae gave him a pointed look. “I know my father’s name.”

“Yes, I’ve only skimmed over all the names at first as well, but on my second read I found this,” Hao confirmed. “It made me think. Taerae, your father told us that my father wanted to talk to him about this project before his death.”

“Right, but he never got to,” Taerae recounted the conversation they had with Lord Kim all those months ago. 

“I think my father was looking for potential allies. Someone to support this case before he published it,” Hao finally shared his theories. “Do you recognize any of the other names?”

Matthew and Taerae exchanged a look before studying the list again.

“They are not nobles and not servants,” Matthew concluded. “I know all of them and these names are not familiar to me.”

“I don’t recognize anything either,” Taerae said. “But if they ever worked for the castle, there has to be a record of it.”

At first, Hao was a bit disappointed, but then he nodded. He had hoped maybe Matthew with all his connections would recognize a name. 

“Then that is where we start looking for proof. I think we need to speak to them,” Hao said, carefully closing The Rose Project again. “They might know something.”

“I think that is a brilliant idea,” Taerae praised him. “We’ve found this much. We can track down a few people.”

“Totally! How hard can it be?” Matthew cheered with a grin. 

Again, Hao felt more than grateful to be blessed with two such loyal friends. 

“Actually, there is something else,” he said, breathing in and out a few times. Matthew and Taerae looked at him in expectation. “I think I want to publish The Rose Project.”

This was what had mostly cost him sleep these days. Publishing was risky. But it was right. Flowers only bloom with courage. And this would be the seed.

To his surprise, Taerae only smiled. “You want to publish?”

Hao let out a long breath. He had thought long and hard about this.

“Yes. I know this has nothing to do with solving my father’s case, but I feel like this is something more important,” Hao felt the courage grow within him the more he spoke. “My father never got the chance to publish this work and he left it for me to find. I know it’s a risk and I know it’s not going to be easy, it might even be dangerous, but if we want things to change, we cannot keep quiet.”

It was silent for a minute as Hao awaited the reactions of his friend. He knew if even just one of the opposed, he would reconsider. 

“Duh?” Matthew said, like it was that simple. “You said we’d make trouble when we started this. So let’s make trouble!”

Hao almost laughed at the ease in Matthew’s voice. 

“I agree, we cannot keep this to ourselves. But it will be hard to find someone to publish this,” Taerae commented. “And I think we need to take some safety precautions.”

It seemed like he hadn’t been the only one considering publication. 

“What are you thinking?” Hao asked his friend. 

Taerae grinned. “I think we should publish it ourselves. And distribute it ourselves. Anonymously."

As soon as Hao heard it, he saw how sensible this idea was. It would mean a lot of work. They needed to edit The Rose Project themselves, needed to write the copies themselves by hand, needed to find a way to make them accessible to the public without being caught. 

However, it was the best way forward. And the safest. Perhaps even the only one. 

“It’s going to take some time to get everything ready,” Hao pointed out. “It’s going to be hard work.”

“Well, I think you are the perfect person to lead the project,” Taerae shrugged. 

The compliment made Hao blush. He has never been the leader of anything, happy to stay in the background, unnoticed, unseen. 

This time, however, he felt like he needed to do this. He wanted to do this. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, not wanting to rope his friends into something they had any doubts about.

“We’ll follow your lead,” Matthew saluted playfully. “You have our full support!”

Hao chuckled amused at Matthew’s enthusiasm. 

“Alright, I’ll sort out the details and come up with a plan. I’ll come to you when I need help,” he said, actually feeling quite energized to embark on this journey. “In the meantime, we lay low.”

“And look for those people on the list,” Taerae reminded him. 

“Right,” Hao nodded. There was indeed a lot of work to be done, but he had never felt more confident about accomplishing something. “We should agree on a next meet-up now where we discuss how we progressed.”

“Oh, I’ll probably have my heat in two weeks, so I’ll be out then,” Matthew said, so casually that Hao almost thought he had misheard. He choked on air, coughing a little.

He had never heard anyone speak so nonchalant about such a private affair. 

“Mine is up soon, too,” Taerae nodded. “What about you, Hao?”

Hao felt his face turn all shades of red. How could Taerae and Matthew ask him that so directly?

“Come on, no need to be shy. It’s a normal bodily function and we are all omegas,” Matthew cooed at him, apparently sensing Hao’s embarrassment. 

Hao felt a bit speechless. Was this how people usually handled their heats?

“I’m…a bit later, probably a few weeks,” Hao mumbled, not wanting to be the odd one out. 

He had presented early, but his heat had always come on the late side.

“Mhh,” Taerae nodded. “Then probably no meet-up until next month. That’s good, it leaves us plenty of time to work.”

Matthew seemed to have moved on from the serious talk, nudging Hao in his side and wiggling his eyebrows. 

“So? Have you talked to Hanbin about your heat yet?”

Hao squeaked. His eyes widened in shock.

“W-what?!”

Matthew looked befuddled. “What what ?”

“Why should I speak with Hanbin about…about that!” Hao said, feeling like his head was short of exploding. 

Matthew’s forehead furrowed. “Because he’s courting you?”

Hao blinked. His mother had not prepared him for this. Was it a custom to discuss heats with the alpha courting you? Surely not! That was just totally improper!

“Why does that matter?” Hao huffed. 

“Because Hanbin is the kind of alpha that would want to care for you during,” Matthew pointed out, like it was obvious and Hao was the unreasonable one. 

“What?!” Hao screeched again. 

Care for him? That couldn’t mean…no!

Hanbin and him hadn’t even kissed yet! And while Hao had been wanting to, dreaming about it even, going from kissing to…to that seemed like a big leap!

“Hao, have you never talked to someone about your heat?” Taerae asked him, voice soft. He looked a lot more understanding about his shock than Matthew. 

Hao pouted. “My mother doesn’t like talking about it,” he said, flustered. “But I’ve been educated. I know it’s not proper for unmated couples to…to care for each other!”

Taerae sighed while Matthew started cackling. Hao felt very out of the loop. 

“Stop it!” Taerae glared at Matthew. “He’s not been in the castle and has never been courted. How was he supposed to know!”

“Sorry, sorry, I get your reaction now,” Matthew said, while still sounding amused. “Alphas that are courting omegas like to prepare care packages. You know, some food and blankets. Nothing unruly.”

Oh. Hao blushed. That made a lot more sense. 

“But it’s up to you to tell Hanbin about it. I get that it might be uncomfortable if you’ve never really talked about it,” Taerae told him. 

“I-...I-” Hao stuttered, mind still a bit scattered. “I’ll think about it.”

While the thought of speaking to Hanbin about something so private and intimate was quite embarrassing, deep down the notion of receiving some blankets from Hanbin was very appealing to him. 

He remembered how just this morning the scent of Hanbin’s coat had given him a sense of calm against the unbearable heat. It might be worth it to jump over his shadow.

“It would make Hanbin very happy,” Matthew grinned suggestively.

Taerae smacked him on his chest. “Stop teasing him.”

“Hey, I’m just saying he should take advantage of all the perks of courting season,” Matthew said. “Not all of us could be so lucky.”

“Please, as if you’d have any trouble finding a willing alpha as well,” Taerae deadpanned. 

All of a sudden, Hao was reminded of the conversation he’d shared with Jiwoong. 

Matthew winked at him. “Who said I’m having trouble?”

With those words, he rose to his feet. 

“We’re done here, right? I do have some laundry to do,” Matthew asked, giving Hao a sly smile. “You won’t mind taking the tray back down to the kitchen for me, right? Thank you!”

Like a turbulence, Matthew swept out of the room. 

Taerae rolled his eyes. “Don’t mind Matthew’s words too much. He just likes to mess with you and he didn’t grow up with all these customs of propriety.”

Hao nodded, by now very used to Matthew’s antics and lack of a filter. “It’s alright.”

Taerae stood up as well, plopping one last grape into his mouth. “You want my help with this?”

He pointed to the remaining food, but Hao shook his head. “No, I can handle it. I still have time before I have to meet Hanbin this evening.”

Taerae began smirking, his expression resembling Matthew’s a little now. “I see,” he said. “Have fun, then. And really think about what we’ve talked about.”

Hao squinted his eyes at him as Taerae began giggling. His friends really liked to tease him too much! He waved Taerae away, who quietly slipped out of the study as well, leaving him alone. 

 

Hao let out a long sigh. Slowly he began to arrange all the plates and cups Matthew had brought. He crouched down to the ground to pick up a bread crumb, when he noticed something shiny in the corner. 

He frowned. It was a button, shimmering silver in the afternoon sun. 

He inspected it closely. It didn’t look like it belonged to his friends. Matthew didn’t own any silver to wear, and he hadn’t seen Taerae wear anything resembling anything like it either.

In fact, it didn’t look like anything that anyone in their kingdom was wearing. The design was foreign, the engraving way too cursive for what was currently being in fashion for noblemen. 

How did this button end up here? It hadn’t been here before, because Hao had searched this room from top to bottom multiple times when he had been searching for The Rose Project. 

An eerie feeling settled in his guts. 

No, he reminded himself. Apart from him, nobody owned a key to this room. Nobody could’ve come in here. This must be Taerae’s. Hao would make sure to return it to him as soon as possible. 

He needed to stop being so paranoid. It would get him nowhere. 

He slipped the button in his pocket and stood back up. With practiced movements, he hid the scriptures back underneath the loose tile. Then he gathered the tray in his arms and headed down to the kitchen. 

 

 

The sun was slowly sinking on the horizon as Hao stepped outside in the royal gardens. The smell of flowers was laying in the air, inviting him to take deep breaths. It was still pleasantly warm and Hao reveled in the sunrays tingling on his skin. 

A sense of serenity overcame him. 

It had been a busy day, but he knew what was about to come would make it come to a perfect end. 

“Hao!”

Hao startled, spinning around. Hanbin was waving at him from a distance. A smile spread on Hao’s lips at the sight, his heart growing fond. 

He started making his way over to Hanbin, who to his surprise, started running towards him. 

Before he knew what was happening, Hanbin had scooped him up in his arms, spinning him around as his feet lifted off the ground. A thrilling sensation unfurled in Hao’s chest and he couldn’t help but laugh out loud. 

“I did it!” Hanbin said breathlessly, softly putting him back down to his feet, but his hands remained firmly planted on his waist.

The open affection made Hao’s heart flutter. There were crinkles on Hanbin’s cheeks, like there always were when he was smiling so brightly. Hao loved seeing them. 

“You did it!” Hao repeated with a giggle, trying to match Hanbin’s enthusiasm. “What exactly did you do?”

Hanbin grinned at him, biting down on his lip. “I’ve quit my work. I’m no longer a trade ambassador.”

Hao’s eyes widened as his chest swelled with pride. Since having met Hanbin, it had been more than evident that he was unhappy in his position, dreading the work he had to do, the legacy he was born into. 

Multiple times, Hanbin had expressed his wish to turn his life around - but it was a step that needed a lot of courage. It seemed like Hanbin had finally gathered enough of it. 

“That’s great!” Hao cheered for him, sincerely excited for Hanbin. “You really did it.”

Hanbin smiled sheepishly. “Never could’ve done it without you.”

Hao’s breath got stuck. Hanbin’s gaze was resting on him, eyes sparkling with affection. It made him entirely flustered, warmth filling him up like a cozy fire. 

“Come on, I need to tell you everything,” Hanbin said, grabbing his wrist and pulling him along. “I’ve prepared something.”

Hao trusted Hanbin’s lead, trying to keep up with his pace. They passed the rose gardens and the fruit trees, only stopping when they reached the small pond.

Hao’s eyes widened when he saw what Hanbin had meant. A nice blanket was spread on the ground, a few candles already lit around it. Two glasses of ice tea were standing in the middle and Hanbin handed him one as he helped him to sit down. 

“This is wonderful,” Hao said, taking in the romantic atmosphere of the candlelight. “You really didn’t have to!”

“Nonsense! This was no work at all,” Hanbin quickly denied, carefully placing the pillows around Hao so he would be most comfortable. 

Hao took a careful sip from his iced tea, finding it pleasantly sweet. “Thank you.”

Hanbin gave him a soft smile, also settling down now. His fingertips were grazing Hao’s knees.

“So,” Hao prompted. “You wanted to tell me about your day! Did you talk to your parents already about your work?”

Hanbin nodded. “I did. I was really nervous, but I knew it was something I had to do.”

“What did they say?” Hao pried further.

“They were really supportive. Apparently, I’ve not been that good at hiding my displeasure at work,” Hanbin grinned sheepishly. “They encouraged me to find work that I would enjoy for an entire lifetime.”

Hao’s heart bloomed with happiness. Knowing that Hanbin had such a kind family was bringing him joy. 

“Did you tell them about wanting to teach?” Hao asked curiously. 

This time, Hanbin shook his head. “Not yet. I thought I’d tell them once I found a position at court.”

“I’m sure you’ll find one soon,” Hao encouraged him. He couldn’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want Hanbin to teach them. 

“I hope so,” Hanbin sighed. “I’m not sure there are even any positions open right now. And I have no scholarly background.”

“But you have knowledge and kindness. You are smart. I’m sure if you set your mind to it, you could teach anything,” Hao said, truly believing his words. 

Hanbin might not come from a family of educators, but he’s always been curious and eager to learn. Two qualities every teacher should possess. Paired with his patience and gentle nature, Hao could envision him clearly as an educator for young children, just like Hanbin wished to be.

“You really think so?” Hanbin asked him, uncharacteristically timid.

Hao understood. It must be scary, leaving what you knew to chase something you didn’t know. In his eyes, it only made Hanbin braver. 

“I do,” Hao confirmed, reaching for Hanbin’s hand that was resting on his knee and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Actually, I have an idea.”

It had just come to him. He didn’t know if Hanbin would be open to it, but in Hao’s mind, it made perfect sense. 

“What kind of idea?” Hanbin asked him intrigued. 

“I might know a position that will be free soon,” Hao told him. “I think it would suit you.”

“Yes?”

Hao took a deep breath. “I think you should teach dance.”

Hanbin looked surprised. “Dance?”

Hao nodded. He recalled the dance lesson he had taken with Taerae and how outdated the teacher’s methods had been. 

“The current dance instructor, Lord Baek, is of old age. And he’s not really pleasant to be around,” Hao told him. “I think parents would be more than willing to hire an alternative.”

Hanbin looked thoughtful for a moment. 

“It would be a good way to get your foot in the door as well. You would gain people’s trust and once they know you are a reliable teacher, you could move on to other subject matters,” Hao tried to convince him. 

Hanbin laughed. “I like it,” he said finally. “It’s a great idea. Besides, I’ve always loved dancing.”

“Really?” Hao beamed at him, glad that Hanbin considered his idea.

“Of course!” Hanbin said. “I will have to talk to the old instructor first, however. I don’t want to make it look like I’m trying to steal his position.”

That was probably a smart move. The last thing Hanbin needed was a rivalry standing in the way of his career. 

“That’s probably for the better,” Hao agreed with him. “People can hold grudges.”

Hanbin laughed softly at his comment. He shuffled a little closer to him, playing with Hao’s fingers as he looked deep into his eyes. 

“Thank you for believing in me,” Hanbin told him.

Hao felt his heart leap out of his chest. Feeling heat rise to his cheeks, he turned his head away. 

He reached for his glass of ice tea, taking a long sip. Suddenly, he was feeling very warm. He fanned his face with his hands.

“Are you feeling hot?” Hanbin noticed immediately. He looked up at the sun as if trying to find a way to make it burn less brightly. 

“It’s fine,” Hao quickly said, but Hanbin didn’t let himself be deterred. 

Suddenly Hao was pushed around so his legs were laying across Hanbin’s lap. As if he were made of porcelain, Hanbin began to untie his shoes. Once his socks were removed as well, Hanbin placed his arms underneath his legs and behind his back and lifted him up. 

Hao squealed, not having expected the sudden lift. Hanbin gently set him down near the pond, making his feet dangle in the water. It was refreshingly cold, making a pleasant shiver travel down Hao’s back. 

“Better?” Hanbin asked him. 

Hao sighed in pleasure and nodded. “Much better.”

Hanbin grinned, tearing his own shoes and shocks off and joining him in the water. His eyes flickered to him mischievously, before he flicked some water in his direction. 

Hao yelped, pouting at a laughing Hanbin. His revenge came in the form of a splash of water with his foot, making little drops of water rain down on Hanbin. 

Hanbin kept laughing, shuffling closer until their thighs were touching. Hao felt the heat return to his body, starting from where Hanbin’s skin met his. 

“This is quite nice, isn’t it?” Hanbin said, leaning back on his hands and throwing his head back. 

Hao had to take a moment to capture his beauty. Underneath the sun, Sung Hanbin glowed golden, like he was made to revel in its light. He truly was a child of the sun.

Hanbin was right. It was a nice place. Nobody but them was out here at the moment, giving them a sense of privacy and peace. The sun was turning the sky all shades of orange and pink, making the sight even prettier.

“Mhh,” Hao hummed in agreement. “Thanks for bringing me here.”

Hanbin turned his head to him, smiling all soft and gentle as he studied his face. 

Then he let out a deep sigh, staring at the water again. “Too bad we cannot stay for long. I don’t want your mother to retract my permission to see you without a chaperone. She’s not been my biggest advocate since the tournament. So I better bring you to your rooms soon.”

At first, Hao pouted in disappointment, not wanting to leave either. Then he remembered. 

“My mother is currently not in the castle,” he informed Hanbin. “She wanted me to tell you.”

Hanbin made a puzzled expression. “Oh,” he said. “Why?”

That was a reasonable question. One that Hao should’ve expected. Yet, he found himself flustered searching for a reply. 

“She’s left for the cottage for a few days,” Hao told him after chewing on his tongue for a while. “She…erm…she was feeling unwell.”

Hanbin’s frown deepened, before he seemed to realize the true meaning of Hao’s vague explanation. 

“Oh!” He said, at least having the decency to look a little flustered as well. “Of course, yes. I understand.”

Hao started at his feet underneath the water. Silence engulfed them. Awkwardly, Hanbin cleared his throat. 

“So, will you be leaving for the cottage as well then?” Hanbin asked him carefully.

Hao had thought discussing such private matters with Hanbin would be unbearably embarrassing. However, somehow he didn’t mind Hanbin asking that question all too much. While he was a bit flustered, he knew that whatever he decided to share with Hanbin would be safe with him. 

“I’m not sure yet,” Hao disclosed. “I think my mother wants me to, just to be safe. It should still be a few weeks, though.”

“And do you want to?” Hanbin asked him, voice still so incredibly tender, as if he knew just how vulnerable Hao felt speaking about this. 

Hao glanced shyly at him. “Erm…I don’t know,” he muttered. He took a deep breath in. “Taerae and Matthew told me about the tradition. With the care-packages. It sounded nice.”

He saw Hanbin swallow. Hopefully, he hadn’t been too forward. He wasn’t really sure how to go about this. 

“I can prepare one for you,” Hanbin stated. 

Hao nodded, heart beating wildly. He was hyper aware of all the places where Hanbin was touching him again. 

He raised his head to find Hanbin looking at him already, pupils all dark and wide, as if Hao was something precious. Hao was burning again, wanting, yearning. 

Hanbin was so close.

Hanbin’s gaze dropped down to his lips. Hao’s heartbeat sped up. 

“Hao,” Hanbin whispered, so close now that Hao could feel his breath. “Can I…can I kiss you?”

Hao had never felt so nervous before, like his entire body was tingling with anticipation. He had dreamed about this for a while, had imagined it, had wanted it. A kiss, to him, was a promise. 

There had been days where he had doubted he would ever be kissed, all sad and lonely in the cottage. It had always been a secret wish of his, to find someone, to share that promise with. 

And Hanbin…Hanbin was so perfect. There was no one else Hao could imagine doing this with.

“I’ve never been kissed before,” he said. He didn’t know why he said that. Somehow, it had just come out of him.

Hanbin looked stunned. “Never?”

Hao shook his head. “There’s never been anyone who I wanted to kiss me,” he explained. “I do want you to, though. To kiss me. Please.”

Awe spread on Hanbin’s face, before it morphed into an incredibly fond smile. 

Hao’s breath hitched when Hanbin’s hand came up to his cheek, thumb caressing it softly. He met Hanbin’s eyes, which were so deep, their warm brown color holding so much trust. 

Hanbin was so close now. Just a little closer and-

Hao’s eyes fell shut and only a moment later he felt a soft touch on his lips. 

The feather-like weight on his lips made his entire body tingle. It was like a thousand butterflies had simultaneously flapped their little wings inside his belly. Like a thousand flowers at once had bloomed. 

It was over as quick as it had happened. 

Hao’s eyes fluttered open. He felt breathless. 

Before Hao could move too far away, Hanbin brought him in again. 

This time, his lips moved gently against his, coaxing him into a heart-fluttering, shy dance. 

Hao hadn’t believed it possible, but it felt even better than the first one.

When Hanbin pulled away, he grinned sheepishly. His hand left Hao’s face, rubbing his own neck. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, not sounding sorry at all. “Just one wasn’t enough.”

Incredibly flustered, Hao decided to stare at the water again. His hand lifted to his lips, which were still tingling. Had that really just happened? Had he really been kissed by Sung Hanbin?

“I-...I-” he stuttered, having lost all his words. Did kissing usually render people speechless?

Hanbin smirked. “That good?”

Hao gasped, playfully hitting Hanbin’s shoulder. “Shut up!”

Hanbin giggled, but the pink hue on his cheeks let Hao now that he also had been flustered by the kiss. 

“I really liked it, too,” Hanbin confirmed for him, because he was Sung Hanbin, open and honest about everything, but especially about his feelings. 

It made Hao smile. At some point, his heart couldn’t grow any fonder of Hanbin than it already was - but he hadn’t reached that point yet. His heart swelled even further. 

Hanbin cleared his throat. He removed his feet from the water and stood up, holding out his hand to help Hao up as fell.

“I should probably still bring you home on time,” Hanbin said. “I wouldn’t put it past your mother to hire someone to check on your bedtime.”

Hao giggled and rolled his eyes. But Hanbin was probably right. His mother had eyes and ears everywhere, no matter if she was present or not. 

 

They packed up their little picnic. The sun had set now, leaving them in the dusk. 

Hanbin safely accompanied him to his doorstep. 

Just because he could, Hao pressed another peck to his lips before slipping through his door into his bedroom. 

He felt entirely giddy as he spun on his own axis, before dropping on his bed with his arms spread wide open. 

On the other side of his door, Sung Hanbin was staring at the air for a solid minute, stunned breathless. Then he grinned to himself, a skip in his step as he returned to his own quarters. 

 

 

The next morning, Hao awoke with a smile on his face. His entire body still tingled from the memories of last night. 

He was practically floating as he danced through his room getting dressed, giggling and humming to himself. Who would’ve thought that kissing someone could get you in such a good mood?

Determined to have the greatest of days, Hao stepped out of his room. As usual, he found a bouquet of flowers on his doorstep. Meaning, Hanbin must’ve also been up early today. Hao wondered if he had slept just as well as he had. 

He spun back in his room, carefully placing the flowers in a vase on his nightstand. He leaned down to smell them and his mood lifted even further as he found them wonderfully fragrant. 

 

With a swing in his steps, Hao made his way to his father’s study. Somehow, he found himself extremely motivated on starting all the work he had set out for The Rose Project. 

He waited until the hallway was cleared of any other scholars before getting the key out of his pocket. Sneakily, he entered the office, cautiously locking the door behind him. 

The scent of fruit was even stronger this morning. It reminded him of mangoes. Hao wondered if the mango trees in the garden were currently being harvested. 

Undeterred, he knelt down on the floor, removing the loose tile and heaving the old scriptures out of their hiding spot. 

He was about to put the tile back in place when he spotted something from the corner of his eyes. 

His heart stopped and he froze in place. 

There was a pair of feet looking out from underneath his father’s desk. 

Hao blinked. 

As for most pairs of feet were, this particular pair was also connected to a body, long legs stretching out in the small office space. It was a stranger, a very tall stranger. The scent of mangoes was coming from him. It was a rather unusual scent for an alpha. 

Hao had never seen his face before. Whoever he was, he was currently sleeping peacefully underneath his father’s desk.

Later, Hao realized what he did next was incredibly stupid. It would’ve been much smarter to remain calm. 

But at that moment, he screamed. 

He jumped to his feet, looking for a possible weapon - seeing as he only had the loose tile in his hand, he deemed it reasonably dangerous. 

His screaming had awoken the other person, who startled out of his slumber. He sat up, hitting his head on the desk and yelping in pain. 

When he spotted Hao, tile lifted over his head, ready to hit him, he startled once more, trying to retreat even further underneath the desk.

“Don’t hit me!” The man screamed, holding his hands up in front of his face. 

“What are you doing here?!” Hao asked him, defending himself as he cornered the man. 

Was this a spy? Someone Lord Yoon had sent? How had he even gotten access to this room? 

Somehow, Hao felt like all their hard work was over before it had even truly begun. 

Oh, what would his mother say? She had been gone for just a day and Hao had already blown up everything!

“I…I was just sleeping! I swear!” The man said calmly.

Hao watched with hawk eyes as he slowly made his way out from underneath the desk. Threateningly, he raised the tile. He had never hit a person in his life. He wasn’t even sure if he was able to. He had no idea what he was doing. 

“Look, I was told this office was abandoned, I didn’t know you worked here,” the man told him. “I’m not here to hurt you.”

Hao didn’t know if he could trust him. With the tile in his hand, the man now had a great view of the secret hiding spot of The Rose Project. 

Was this all a ruse to bring upon their downfall? Why had he never before seen this man? 

No, Hao couldn’t trust his words. He needed more information. 

Not letting the tile sink, he scanned the man up and down. He did not look overly dangerous, no obvious weapons on his person. He was wearing foreign clothes as well. Hao recognized the missing button on his shirt.

Just who was this?

“Who are you?” Hao asked him straight forward. “And you better not lie!”

The man swallowed. 

“I’m a Prince from the Northern Empire,” the man stated. “And my name is Kim Gyuvin.”

Notes:

you know you're a slow writer when it takes your main couple 100k words to share a first kiss lol

and a surprise reveal at the end!! haha what do you think gyuvin is doing there :D share your theories in the comments im curious :33

thanks for reading!! everybody stay healthy <3

Chapter 15: Valerian

Summary:

valerian. medically used to treat anxiety and insomnia; representing strength, vitality and readiness

Notes:

hehehehehehehhhehehehehehe enjoy :3

Hao’s head was spinning. 

Kim Gyuvin was now calmly sitting on top of his father’s desk, eyeing him curiously. Hao wasn’t sure what to make of him. 

“You can put that down,” Gyuvin told him, nodding his head towards the wooden plank still in Hao’s hand. “I’m not gonna fight you.”

Hao hesitated. Gyuvin was an alpha and taller than him, probably stronger too. He was a stranger who had somehow broken into his father’s study. It was impossible to predict what he would do next.

Yet, his instincts told him that Gyuvin was telling the truth. He was not going to hurt Hao. 

Slowly, he put the plank back into its place on the floor. He tried to act casual as he picked up The Rose Project. Hopefully, Gyuvin wasn’t on the scholarly side and had no interest in scriptures. 

To be safe, he hid it behind his back. 

“So, Kim Gyuvin, I’m going to ask you again,” Hao said, taking a deep breath in. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve really only been sleeping in here,” Gyuvin repeated, raising his hands innocently. “I swear.”

Hao narrowed his eyes on him, but detected no signs of lying. 

“How long?” He questioned, because it was clear that this hadn’t been his first night here. 

“Let’s just say…a while,” Gyuvin admitted sheepishly. 

Hao sighed. He couldn't believe his morning had taken such a stark turn. 

“Why?” He asked, exasperation obvious in his voice. 

Why of all places had Kim Gyuvin decided to sleep in an abandoned scholar’s office? There were plenty of rooms available in the castle for royal visitors! Their kingdom prided itself on hospitality! They were more than friendly with the Northern Empire, so surely a prince would’ve been hosted according to his status. 

For the first time, Gyuvin seemed reluctant to answer. He avoided his gaze, tracing the scratch marks on the wooden desk with his fingers. 

“Just…because,” he finally shrugged.

Hao nearly laughed. What a ridiculous answer! 

“Kim Gyuvin, you better tell me the truth right now or I will report you!” Hao huffed, trying to sound authoritative.

It was an empty threat. Hao couldn’t tell anyone that he was also using his father’s office frequently as a secret headquarters for a rebellion - but Gyuvin luckily didn’t know that. 

“No! No, please don’t!” Gyuvin sounded fearful. “It’s just…it’s complicated!”

“Complicated?” Hao huffed.

Gyuvin opened his mouth, but before he could come up with another excuse, there was a knock on the door. 

Hao shrieked, spinning around. Who could that be? 

Taerae and Matthew weren’t scheduled to meet him! Hanbin, perhaps? But they had just seen each other last night…

He turned back to look at Gyuvin, whose expression had turned downright frightened. 

Things fell into place. 

“Who is that?” Hao asked him, figuring that whoever was knocking on that door was not looking for him. 

“Nobody!” Gyuvin confirmed his suspicions. “Don’t open it!”

The knocking got more insistent. 

“Kim Gyuvin!” A muffled voice cut through wood of the door. “Open up!”

Hao’s eyes widened. He recognized that voice. 

As if this morning couldn’t get any more absurd. 

“No, don’t-” Gyuvin protested once more, but Hao was done. 

Smoothly, he hid The Rose Project in between the other scriptures in the shelves. Then he went straight for the door.

A startled looking Shen Ricky greeted him. For a moment, they both just stared at each other. 

“You are not Gyuvin,” Ricky pointed out very eloquently. 

“No,” Hao said. “I’m not.”

Hao could practically see in Ricky’s eyes as he connected the dots. 

“Well,” Ricky grinned. “This is awkward.”

Hao couldn’t help but huff. “So, your highness, do you mind telling me why a prince from the Northern Empire has been residing in my late father’s office?”

Ricky sighed, rubbing his hands over his forehead. 

“At least let me come inside first?” He requested. “I don’t want to have this conversation in the open.”

Well, Hao didn’t think he really had a choice. It wasn’t like he could deny someone with Rick’s status entrance. 

 He stepped aside, letting Ricky pass him. He locked the door behind him. 

Gyuvin stood up once he saw Ricky, giving him a small wave. Ricky only sighed again. 

“So, explain.” Hao said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

“First of all, I thought this office was out of use,” Ricky told him. “Otherwise I would’ve never used it to hide Gyuvin.”

Hao frowned. “Why would you hide him in the first place? It’s not like we're not friendly with the Northern Empire. There is surely a room for him available.”

“Because-” Ricky cautiously glanced at Gyuvin. The man gave him a soft smile. “Because Gyuvin is the reason why I’ve returned to the castle. He’s the reason I didn’t get married to that prince in the Southern Realm.”

Hao blinked. He felt like there was a longer story there. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve been sent to the Southern Realm. Just a customary visit. I’m only the fourth prince in line for the throne, so I do a lot of travel and diplomacy work,” Gyuvin chimed in. “It was supposed to be a short stay…but…”

“You know I’ve been sent to the Southern Realm to tighten our bond with them. There were month-long negotiations and I was set on fulfilling my duty as a royal omega,” Ricky intercepted. 

This part, Hao had already known. Their entire kingdom had been witness to the long process of arrangements. That’s why it had been such a shock to see Ricky return without a ring on his finger and a bite on his neck. 

He wondered how this all connected back to Gyuvin. 

“I met Gyuvin while I was there. And he…and we…”

Gyuvin stepped closer to Ricky. A gasp left Hao’s lips as he saw him connect their fingers. 

“We fell in love,” he stated, bold and confident, as if it was something he was proud of. 

Hao’s gaze snapped to Ricky, observing his reaction to this claim.

A faint blush rose to Ricky’s cheeks, but he didn’t deny anything. 

“As soon as I realized my feelings,” Ricky mumbled. “I called off the engagement. People were upset, but I knew it wasn’t right anymore. I couldn’t marry anyone else. I didn’t want to. It wasn’t fair.”

Hao’s heart ached as he heard Ricky’s voice break. Again, he was reminded just how young Ricky actually was, only a few years younger than him. His marriage had been arranged so fast. It must’ve been a lot of pressure. It must’ve been even more pressure to decide to defy the expectations set on his shoulders since his birth. 

“I returned here,” Ricky finished his story. 

Hao nodded slowly. That explained…a little bit?

“And how does this connect to Gyuvin sleeping in here?” Hao asked him. 

Gyuvin smiled sheepishly. 

“Once I noticed Ricky was gone, I followed him here,” he told him. 

“You are such a moron,” Ricky scoffed, but there was no real anger in his voice. 

Gyuvin’s eyes turned sweet, playfully nudging Ricky in his side.

Ricky looked at Hao. “I wasn’t sure how my family would react to Gyuvin coming here, especially since he is the reason why the engagement fell through. Then I heard people talking about you and I remembered that your father’s office had been left empty since his death. I thought it would be the perfect hiding spot until we figured out a plan.”

Well, that explained the rest of it. 

Hao groaned, his brain working overtime. He rubbed over his face. 

So, Shen Ricky had a secret lover, who was also a prince. Just what had this morning turned into?

“Couldn’t you just have…I don’t know, couldn’t have Gyuvin come here on a diplomatic visit?” Hao asked them. 

In his mind, there were much simpler ways to have a foreign prince come to the castle without having to give away their relationship. It wasn’t like it was uncommon for their kingdom to accept visitors.

Gyuvin and Ricky exchanged a look, expressions dumbfounded.

“You truly are smart,” Gyuvin said. 

Hao sighed. Seemed like Gyuvin was not on the scholarly side after all.

Or, perhaps the kinder explanation, being in love could turn you a little stupid at times.

“You’ll keep our secret, right?” Ricky asked him, eyes almost pleading. It was a strange expression on a prince who had everything. “I want to introduce my parents and the Queen and King to the idea of Gyuvin on a positive note.”

“Yes,” Hao agreed, already tired despite the day just having started. “As long as Gyuvin will find another place to sleep in by tonight. This is not a bedroom.”

Gyuvin grinned, nodding eagerly. “I will officially arrive on a diplomatic visit right this afternoon.”

That was that problem solved. There was just one more question. One that had rung alarm bells ever since finding Gyuvin underneath his father’s desk.

“How did you even get access to this room? As far as I was concerned, I owned the only key,” Hao asked them. This was a possible security issue and he needed to get to the bottom of it. 

Ricky rolled his eyes. “Please, I’m the nephew of the Queen. You think it is hard for me to organize a key?”

No, it was probably not hard for Ricky to get anything he wanted. Still, this didn’t really comfort Hao’s worries. 

“Are there any more keys to this room? Could anyone else get a hold of one?” Hao asked him urgently. 

Ricky frowned. “I mean, anyone of the royal family, I guess? The castle belongs to us, after all.”

“How about anyone else?” Hao pried further. “What about other noblemen?”

Ricky snorted. “No, not without our permission. The royal family knows exactly how many keys there are to our properties. If anyone wants a copy, they need direct permission from our family.”

Hao let out a relieved breath. This meant you had to go through the royal family to get a key. That was a hurdle not many would take. 

Ricky squinted his eyes on him suspiciously. “Why are you asking?” He questioned. “What have you been doing here anyway?”

Hao’s pulse sped up. He had thought he had drawn the attention away from his own whereabouts - but Shen Ricky was not without wits. 

“I own my father’s key,” Hao told him, trying to sound confident. “I’ve been coming here to read. It’s…quiet.”

“It’s quiet in the library as well. Plus, there are many more books there,” Ricky countered. Now his curiosity seemed to have truly been piqued. “Why do you come here?”

“I like coming here,” Hao retorted. “Makes me feel closer to my father.”

He hoped Ricky would buy that explanation. It was perfectly reasonable - a mourning son, yearning for his father’s presence. For a moment, it looked like it - but then Gyuvin opened his mouth. 

“He was hiding something earlier,” he ruined Hao’s perfect lie. “Some sort of scripture.”

“That’s not true!” Hao quickly denied all accusations.

Gyuvin scoffed. “Please, you were threatening me with the plank it was hidden underneath. I’m not blind!”

Hao cursed himself. Everything had been going so well. Just why did Gyuvin have to be such a keen observer? 

“You must’ve hit your head,” Hao tried one last resort. “I did no such thing.”

“I did not hit my head!” Gyuvin said, pouting insulted. “At least not that hard! You were hiding something!”

With confident steps he approached the shelf. Hao felt the sweat run down his spine. The Rose Project was standing in between the many other scriptures, but if you looked carefully, you could see that it didn’t belong here. The pages were too old, too used.

Hao held his breath as Gyuvin's finger traced over the different works. They stopped right on top of The Rose Project.

His heart dropped. 

“It was this one!” Gyuvin announced, pulling it out of the shelf. 

Hao could hear his own heartbeat drumming in his ear. What should he do now? Run? Fight? Deny ever having seen that scripture?

Was this the end of The Rose Project?

“Zhang Hao,” Ricky’s voice vibrated with authority. “What is the meaning of this?”

“It’s…it’s…” His mind drew a blank. He was out of excuses.

Ricky had read the title by now. “What is The Rose Project?” He asked. “Tell me right now. That’s an order.”

Hao bit down on his lip. Gyuvin was a prince, albeit a foreign one, who had no real power over him. Ricky, while not a true prince, did have power over him. Lying to him would be more than unwise. Especially when there was so much evidence against him. 

He weighed his options. Either he told Ricky the truth and hoped he wouldn’t find himself banished or he lied and would for sure be banished. 

He looked into Ricky’s eyes. 

They were the eyes of a royal. The eyes of a prince. Ricky was the system his father was criticizing in his works. 

But he was also an omega. He had called off an engagement because he had fallen for another. He had defied expectation. 

Ricky was a troublemaker.

Hao hoped he wasn’t making a big mistake. He wished Matthew and Taerae were here to consult him on this risk - but they weren’t. Hao had only his guts to trust. 

“The Rose Project was the last project my father worked on before his death,” Hao stated with as much courage as he could. “He bequeathed it to me.”

Ricky hummed, clearly needing more information. “What’s it about? Why are you hiding it?”

Hao swallowed. His heart was flickering, trembling with fear. Was this what courage came down to? Sharking with fear and yet still deciding to speak up?

“I believe it’s the reason my father was murdered,” Hao said. 

Ricky looked stunned. “Wha-”

“He spoke up about the inequality of alphas and omegas in our kingdom. He wanted to change society, he wanted lasting change. Change that would’ve threatened people in power,” Hao kept talking. “He had proof for discrimination. Lots of it. It’s all in there.”

Ricky looked at him. Then at the scripture. Then back at him. 

“So scholar Zhang was a revolutionaire,” he concluded. Then he smirked. “Tell me everything.”

 

Hao’s head was aching when he went to bed that night. It had taken him all day to let Ricky and Gyuvin in on all the investigating he had done since he had returned to the castle. 

There was still an odd feeling in his stomach. He hadn’t wanted to include anyone else in The Rose Project. Even just Taerae and Matthew knowing was risky. Now there was a prince and his secret lover - who of course was also a prince - involved. 

Hao had multiple times stressed how important it was to keep quiet about everything. To his surprise, Ricky had been really passionate about the whole issue. Perhaps being sent off to another empire to marry a stranger had radicalized him. 

Then there was Gyuvin. The first alpha who more or less voluntarily had joined The Rose Project. He had mostly kept quiet, seeming confused about everything Hao was unveiling to them. Apparently, they did things much differently in the Northern Empire, where Gyuvin had been born and raised, so he couldn’t relate much to their struggle. 

In the end, Hao had no real choice but to trust them. If he wouldn’t find himself exiled for treason by tomorrow morning, Ricky must’ve kept his word and stayed silent. Then he would need to find Matthew and Taerae and inform them about the…situation. 

They probably hadn’t expected him to call an emergency meeting this soon after they had last met. He hoped they would forgive him. 

He turned in his sheets. His mind was spinning again. 

He would love to go for a walk outside to clear his head, but he doubted that was a good idea. He kicked his blanket away, feeling hot underneath his collar. He turned once more, from his stomach to his back. There was sweat making his nightgown stick to his skin. He wiped over his forehead. 

There was no use. With a long sigh, he sat up. If he could not roam around, he could at least open his window. 

He poured himself a glass of water and wobbled over to the window with the blue tinted class. With quick fingers he opened it, inhaling greedily as the fresh air hit his hot face. 

He gulped the water down and leaned outside. The clitter of the crickets was the only sound he could hear. The night was quiet. 

Finally, his mind quieted down as well. Hao didn’t know for how long he was standing there, thoughts muted as he stared ahead into the darkness. 

It was unusual for him to completely tune out like this, but he supposed his day had been quite stressful and even his brain needed to rest at some point. Only when his back protested from the strain did Hao close the window. 

He was about to move back to his bed, when he caught sight of something. 

Hanbin’s coat. It hung over the back of his chair, emitting the faint scent of pinewood. 

Normally, Hao would be too flustered. He had never actually worn the coat around, despite Hanbin telling him he could - but he was alone in his chambers at night.

As if moved by a mysterious force, Hao reached for the coat, holding it to his face and inhaling deeply. It smelled heavenly. 

He fell into bed cuddling the piece of clothing to his chest. It only took a few seconds for him to fall asleep. 

 

The next morning he woke up sweaty, mind fuzzy. Realizing what he had taken to bed with him, his face heated up even further. Quickly he hung the coat back over the chair and headed straight to the bathroom to draw himself a long, cold bath. 

Again, there were many things for him to do today. He couldn’t lose a single minute.

There was a bouquet of Valerians waiting for him in front of his room and Hao took them inside with a bright smile. 

Hanbin, he sighed dreamily in his head.

Then he hurried on. He passed a few castle guards on his way. They didn’t call for his arrest. He took that as a good sign. 

With urgency he knocked on the door to the Kim residence. 

It was Lady Kim who opened the door for him, a polite smile grazing her features as she recognized him.

“Zhang Hao,” she greeted him and Hao bowed slightly in return. “Come inside. You must be here to see Taerae. My son is still getting ready in his room.”

“Thank you,” he said, stepping into the entrance hall.

“I must say, I’m happy to see you, as well, though. Your mother told me about her temporary absence and entrusted me to watch over you in the meantime,” she let him know. “So feel free to come to me if you need for anything.”

Hao’s ears felt a little hot as he bowed once more. He had suspected his mother to inform Lady Kim about her leave, after all she was an old friend to their family. 

“Thank you,” he said once more. “May I see Taerae now?”

“Of course,” she replied. “But don’t keep him too long. We’re having tea at the courtyard today.”

Hao nodded, although what he was about to tell Taerae would probably take more than a few minutes.

 

He knocked on his friend’s bedroom door softly, before letting himself in. 

Taerae was standing in front of his mirror, combing through his hair. His robes were still untied in the back. When he spotted Hao’s reflection, he turned around, eyebrows raised. 

“Were we scheduled for breakfast?” He asked him. 

“No,” Hao quickly denied, helping Taerae bind his robes together. “Something happened that I needed to tell you urgently.”

Once Hao was done tying the strings together, Taerae turned around to face him properly. 

“You look worried. Is everything alright with you?” He frowned, sniffing the air. “You smell a little different.”

Hao blushed, as the memory of Hanbin’s coat flushed through his head. Its scent must’ve rubbed off on him during the night, lingering on his skin despite the bath he had taken.

“Yes, it’s just…yesterday…something…unexpected occurred,” he muttered, not really knowing where to start. 

Taerae eyed him curiously. “What happened?”

Hao bit down on his lip, letting out a shaky breath. 

“Prince Ricky and Kim Gyuvin, Prince of the Northern Empire, might’ve discovered The Rose Project.”

Taerae’s mouth dropped open. Then it closed. Then it opened again. Hao could practically see the thoughts rushing behind his eyes.

“Okay,” Taerae said finally. “Elaborate.”

As short and precise as possible, Hao relayed what had occurred yesterday. Taerae remained silent, only humming and nodding along as he listened.

His face remained expressionless until Hao reached the end. Hao didn’t know how to read it.

“I’m really sorry,” he apologized either way. “I should’ve been more careful. I should’ve made something up. If anything bad happens, I will take all the blame. The scripture legally belongs to me, so I hope I can keep you out of it.”

“Calm down,” Taerae told him, petting his shoulder. “It’s not your fault a foreign royal decided to use your father’s study as his private bedroom. You had no choice but to tell the truth.”

Relief washed over Hao. It seemed that Taerae wasn’t angry at him. Hao wouldn’t have known what to do if Taerae decided to cut all contact with him. 

“It seems that we can trust Prince Shen Ricky and this Kim Gyuvin,” Taerae added. “Who knows, maybe they can even be of help.”

“I hope so,” Hao said. “We’ve come all this way and you’ve risked so much for me. It would be a shame to be forced to stop now.”

Taerae hummed, thoughtful. “We know the risks. But Hao, you have to be cautious. You are right. It’s your name on the paper.”

Hao knew the risks, too. Taerae was right, it was the name of his father, the name of him, attached to The Rose Project. 

Taerae sighed, rubbing over his face. 

“This day is already a mess,” he said, walking over to his dresser to slip on some jewelry. “At least now I have something to think about while I try to make conversation with another dull suitor.”

Hao’s lips twitched. At first, he had been shocked by Taerae’s blunt judgments of alphas’ intelligence, but now he found them mostly amusing.

“Right, your mother told me you were having tea down at the courtyard,” Hao remembered. 

Taerae had yet to accept a courting offer. It seemed like Lady Kim still insisted on entertaining all alphas that had expressed an interest in Taerae, anyway. 

“Unfortunately, my mother hopes that one day, I will just fall madly in love with one of them so she can finally be done with chaperoning me,” Taerae said, fumbling with his golden rings. “I think we’re both pretty much over it at this point. Usually, she stops forcing me to sit down in the courtyard once summer is over.”

“Who knows, you might be surprised today,” Hao shrugged, not wanting Taerae to give up on love.

His friend only snorted. “Please, Hao, I’ve lived at the court all my life. I know these people. Nobody can surprise me anymore.”

“And you’ve never fancied anyone?” Hao wondered out loud.

Taerae hesitated, before shaking his head. “I’ve never fancied an alpha.”

It seemed like he wanted to say something more, but they were interrupted by Lady Kim.

“Taerae! We need to leave now if we want to drink our tea warm!” Her voice resonated through the door.

Taerae grimaced at him. “Sorry, but that’s my cue. You should find Matthew and tell him what you told me.”

Hao nodded. “Good luck,” he wished his friend, who only laughed before leaving. 

Hao lingered a little longer. He wondered what Taerae had wanted to tell him. 

 

Hao let himself out of the Kim residence. While Taerae was usually pretty easy to locate, finding Matthew was always a little harder. Most days, he attended the Sung family, but even if he did so today, he could either be with Lord Sung, Lady Sung or even Hanbin. 

Of course, Hao hoped for the latter. If Matthew was with Hanbin, it would be the easiest to request a short private conversation with him without having to answer too many questions. 

His first guess took him to Hanbin’s office. However, once he arrived, he found it empty. Of course, Hanbin had quit his work, so the office was no longer actively in use. Still, Hao had hoped to find him here. 

Because the next plausible location to search for Matthew was the Sung residence. The chance of encountering not only Hanbin there, but any of his parents, was much higher. Not that Hao disliked Lady or Lord Sung, but it would be hard to explain the need to speak to their servant in private so suddenly. 

Not really left with any other plan, Hao headed towards the noble quarters. 

 

He kept his head low, bowing politely whenever someone passed by him. He still felt out of place in this part of the castle. 

Once he reached the far end of the hallway, where the Sung residence was located, he stopped. He should probably make up an excuse why he wanted to see Matthew before knocking. 

What would be a good reason?

Maybe he could say he was returning something Matthew had forgotten at his place? But he wasn’t carrying anything with him at the moment…

Before he could make up his mind, the door swung open, nearly hitting him in his face. 

He yelped, jumping backward just in time. 

“Goodness! I’m so sorry!” It was Jiwoong heading out, also looking startled by the almost accident. 

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Hao quickly reassured him, catching his breath. 

“You must be here to see Hanbin,” Jiwoong concluded. “You’re in luck, he just stepped by. Let me call him for you-”

“No, wait!” Hao interrupted him before Jiwoong could summon Hanbin. 

Jiwoong blinked, confused, but halted. Hao exhaled. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. Jiwoong probably wouldn’t ask questions. He knew Hao was a good friend of Matthew.

“Actually, I was looking for Matthew. Could you call him for me instead?” Hao requested.

To his surprise, Jiwoong blushed bright red. “Oh, erm-...Matthew is not available today,” he muttered, looking a bit frazzled. 

For a second, Hao was confused. Then his gaze dropped to the small basket Jiwoong was carrying. It was filled with soft blankets and sweet snacks. Matthew’s favorite kind. The sweet scent of maple filled the air, clearly coming from the blankets that must be Matthew’s personal ones. But there was another scent mingled with them, something a little sharper and more minty - resembling the fragrance of the person standing right opposite of him.

Hao connected the dots. 

He couldn’t help smirking. “I see. I gather you are on your way to deliver this to him.”

“You are too smart,” Jiwoong sheepishly scratched his head, but didn’t deny it. “Yes. I thought it might help him.”

“Does Matthew know you’re coming?” Hao asked him.

Jiwoong shook his head. “No, erm…I don’t plan on going inside! Just…leaving this outside his door. He moved to a private room for now, outside the Sung residence. For his propriety…and safety.”

At least Hao wasn’t the only one getting flustered talking about this topic. Jiwoong seemed just as shy, awkwardly looking everywhere but at Hao. 

“You are a good friend,” Hao told the guard with a gentle smile. “I’m sure if you tell Matthew how much you care about him, he would notice it, too.”

Jiwoong’s ears turned bright pink. It was almost funny to see the otherwise so professional guard reduced to this flustered state. In Hao’s eyes, it made him even more likable. Matthew would do good with him.

“Thank you….I…might,” Jiwoong said, avoiding his eyes. 

Hao laughed softly. 

“I guess I will speak to him in a few days time, then,” Hao said. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Jiwoong nodded curtly, before passing by him quickly, apparently keen on ending this interaction. Hao couldn’t blame him. It was a rather private matter. 

 

Just as he was about to turn around, accepting that he had to postpone letting Matthew in on the news, the door to the Sung residence swung open once more. 

“Hao?”

Hao spun around, heart picking up speed. Of course, Hanbin was standing right there. 

The alpha smiled at him. “I thought I heard your voice.”

Instinctively, Hao began smiling as well. Not even a full day had passed since he had last spoken to Hanbin, and yet his heart had missed him. Seeing Hanbin now, after he had kissed him - Hao’s entire body seemed to be just short of levitating. 

“Yes,” Hao confirmed, tugging a strand of hair behind his ear. “I was talking to Jiwoong.”

“Were you looking for me?” Hanbin asked him, a hopeful twinkle in his eyes. 

Hao hated having to cross his hope, but he didn’t want to be dishonest with Hanbin. At least not more than he had to be for Hanbin’s safety. 

“No, I’m sorry. I was looking for Matthew,” Hao said, making Hanbin pout in disappointment. 

“Matthew’s not gonna be here for a few days,” he told Hao. 

“Yes,” Hao nodded. “Jiwoong told me as much.”

For a moment, Hao feared this would be the end of their conversation. While he had a lot of things to do, he never wanted to separate from Hanbin. 

Luckily, Hanbin seemed to feel the same way. 

“So,” he said, leaning against the doorframe. “Since Matthew isn’t here, you have nothing to do now, right?”

“Oh, I-” Hao hesitated. Technically, there were more than enough things on his current to-do list.

“Would you like to come inside?” Hanbin asked him, stepping aside and making room for Hao in the door. “My parents are both out at the moment. So are Jiwoong and Matthew.”

Hao’s heart beat wildly. Hanbin’s smile was so charming, the pink of his lips so tempting. There was a magnetic force pulling him closer to Hanbin before he could even make up his mind. 

Hanbin smiled so obviously pleased, closing the door behind them. 

Hao remembered the Sung residence from the last time he had visited, the entry hall and the dining room. This time, Hanbin led him into a comfortable sitting room, showing Hao to a couch, letting him take a seat first. 

As he did so, Hao felt his mind get a little woozy. His knees trembled weakly and he was glad to be off his feet for now. Perhaps, he hadn’t eaten enough today. 

Hanbin sat down next to him sideways, putting his hand near Hao’s knee. The touch felt comforting and calming, like a light breeze on a summer day. Hao immediately relaxed against the pillows.

“What did you want to speak with Matthew about?” Hanbin asked him, a natural question to have. 

Hao bit down on his lip. He tried to put on his most casual expression. “Nothing important.”

His entire focus was somehow on the place Hanbin was touching him. His thumb was now gently caressing back and forth over Hao’s leg. It seemed to be more of an afterthought for Hanbin, touching Hao like this - but Hao felt like his entire body was burning up. 

He tried hard to sharpen his mind. He wanted to shift the attention away from him.

He smiled at Hanbin. “How was your day?”

Luckily, Hanbin didn’t pry. He never did. He leaned further into the couch as well, shuffling even closer. 

Hao could pick up his scent. It went straight to his head. Pinewood. It made something deep inside of him stir. 

“I’ve asked Lord Baek, the old dance teacher, to meet with me. We have an appointment for the upcoming weekend,” Hanbin told him, sounding quite excited. “I hope it’ll go well.”

Hao reached for the hand resting on his knee with his own. It was mainly to offer Hanbin some comfort in return, but the additional brush of skin only made it even harder to concentrate on what he was saying.

“It’ll go well,” Hao assured him. “I know it.”

Hanbin gave him a bashful smile. “Thank you.”

“Do you have any other plans for the day?” Hao asked him, urgently needing to focus on anything but how fantastic Hanbin’s touch felt and how much more he suddenly craved for it. 

Hanbin looked rather sheepish now. “Actually,” he said. “I was just about to return to my own quarters. I’ve just come here to pick up a few of my old blankets from my old bedroom. To give to you.”

Hao’s mouth dropped open. “Oh.”

“Wait a second,” Hanbin told him, getting up from the couch. 

The second his hand left Hao’s leg, there was a disturbing feeling spreading in his stomach. He felt a little nauseous, an icky pain spreading in his guts. Maybe he had eaten something wrong?

When Hanbin returned, he was carrying a basket in his arms. It looked quite similar to the one Jiwoong had been bringing to Matthew earlier. 

Hao’s eyes widened. Hanbin had told him he would prepare a care package. Somehow, he still was surprised to receive it now. 

It was filled to the brim with blankets and pillows, all heavenly smelling of pinewood. Had Hao been alone and possessed any less self-restraint, he would’ve buried his face in them immediately. 

“T-thank you,” he mumbled, as Hanbin set the basket down on the small table in front of them. 

“There’s also some water and food inside. I wasn’t sure what would be best, so I put a little bit of everything,” Hanbin told him, digging through the basket to show Hao everything he put inside. 

It made his heart ache with fondness. Something overcame him. Why was Hanbin so far away, looking at a basket instead of at Hao? He watched Hanbin’s side profile intently, yearning desperately to be seen and looked at and touched. 

“Hanbin,” he breathed out. Somehow, he had drifted closer to Hanbin on his own, now kneeling on the couch right next to Hanbin.

Finally, Hanbin turned his head towards him. His gaze captured Hao with silent awe. He let go of the basket, shifting so he could pay full attention to Hao instead. 

“Yes?” He asked quietly. 

Hao was past the point of embarrassment. Hanbin was so close. He needed him even closer. 

“Can you kiss me again?” He asked, leaning further into Hanbin, who shuffled backwards a little to make more room for Hao, who was now just short of climbing into his lap. He moved his head closer, close enough to whisper against Hanbin’s lip. “Kiss me.”

Apparently, Hanbin didn’t need any further invitation.

At first tender, but then with increasing passion, he pressed his lips onto Hao’s. His hands settled on Hao’s waist, pulling slightly and making him fall fully in his lap. Hao’s fingers reached up to Hanbin’s hair, pulling at the soft strands. 

It made Hanbin gasp and a shiver travelled down Hao’s back. He felt on top of the world. This was only his second time kissing Hanbin and yet he doubted there was a better feeling on earth. 

Hanbin’s tongue licked over his bottom lip, and Hao’s mouth opened for him. It was exhilarating, sensing Sung Hanbin with every fiber of his body, every one of his senses occupied by him, from his touch to his taste. 

There was another urge inside of him, screaming at him to be tended to. Something they hadn’t done before, but that Hao was longing for like he had never longed for anything. 

“Hanbin,” he pulled away, short of breath.

Hanbin chased after him, stealing another kiss from his lips, before backing up enough so Hao could speak. 

“I want-” Hao’s voice broke. “I want you to scent me. Can you?”

There was a deep rumble, starting to resonate in Hanbin’s chest and traveling all the way to Hao’s own. He shivered as he let the sound encompass him. He had never felt anything like it before. 

 “Yes,” Hanbin breathed, first against his lips, then against his neck. “Yes.”

On instinct, Hao bared his neck, giving Hanbin all the access he needed. At first, it was just a soft nuzzle, but then Hanbin was positively rubbing his scent onto him. 

A pleasant tingle lit Hao’s body up, and he let himself fall deeper. The scent of pinewood was now all around him, like he had drowned in a bath of it. 

“Hao,” Hanbin gasped. “Y-your scent-”

Hao wasn’t sure he was properly comprehending any words. Only Hanbin, Hanbin’s scent, Hanbin’s taste, his touch, the sound of his voice-

“It’s different,” Hanbin stated, seemingly having gathered some of his clarity back. 

Hanbin noticed it before him. 

There was a hot flash seeping through his body, then a cold one, followed by another hot flash. 

Suddenly, he was pushed out of Hanbin’s lap, who jumped across the room. The distance was painful, making Hao whine in discomfort. 

“Hao,” Hanbin called to him urgently. “Hao, your heat.”

As soon as the words were spoken, Hao recognized the signs. The spouts of dizziness. The draw to Hanbin’s scent. 

At once, he snapped out of it. 

His heat had come earlier than expected. 

Mortified, he curled into himself. As if on cue, his stomach started cramping. 

“Hanbin,” his lips were trembling, feeling the sweat run down his spine. “W-what do we do?”

Hao was not home, not at the cottage. He hadn’t spent a heat anywhere else for over ten years. Fear crept up in him. 

Hanbin was looking at him from across the room. Sensing Hao’s panic, his gaze softened. 

“It’s going to be alright,” he told him gently. “We need to get you to your room. If I stay close to you for much longer, we might trigger my rut.”

Hao’s face heated up even more. Right, he had almost forgotten about that part. While omega’s heats were an annual event, alphas’ ruts were only ever triggered by an omega experiencing them.

Hao nodded. He tried to get up on his feet, but collapsed right back down. He always felt so weak during this time of the year. 

Noticing Hao’s struggle, Hanbin carefully crossed the distance between them. 

“I’ll carry you,” he announced firmly.

“B-but-” Hao wanted to protest, but Hanbin firmly shook his head. 

“It’ll be fine,” Hanbin told him. “You need to be safe.”

He wrapped Hao up in a blanket, covering him the best he could. Hao appreciated it. If he had to be carried across the castle, he wanted to at least hide his face. 

“We’ll take the servant’s path,” Hanbin read his mind. “Nobody will even see us.”

Hao still hid his face in Hanbin’s chest, covering the rest of it with the blanket as Hanbin heaved him up in the air. This way, his modesty was at least somewhat protected. 

“Y-you need to inform Lady Kim,” Hao told him as they passed through the hidden pathways that were mostly used by servants. “She’s supposed to take care of me while my mother is gone.”

It would be a scandal otherwise. Hao, going into heat without a chaperone, in the presence of an alpha nonetheless. It could be reputation ruining. They needed to inform her to ensure that nothing inappropriate had happened. 

“I will,” Hanbin confirmed. “Once I know you’re safe.”

 

Hanbin was right. They didn’t encounter any other soul. 

Relief flooded Hao as Hanbin pushed the door to his room open. He was set down on his bed. Immediately, he wrapped himself in his blankets. 

“I…I’ll leave now,” Hanbin swallowed hard, tearing his stare away. “Be…be safe.”

Before Hao could say anything in return, apologize or thank him, Hanbin had surged out of the door.

A shiver travelled through his body and he fell back in his sheets with a long sigh. 

This would be the longest three days of his life.

Notes:

thank you for reading!!

did you like the gyuvin reveal? haha somehow i couldn't resist the ship :D
things were getting a little steamy in the end hehehe
let me know what you think so far!!

stay safe and healthy :33

Chapter 16: Orchids

Summary:

orchids. meaning innocence and grace; but also seduction and attraction

Notes:

heyhoooo it is Friday again and im back with a new chapter!! hope you'll like it :33

Hao woke up and the fog in his head seemed to finally have lifted.

His muscles felt sore as he sat up in his bed. He rubbed over his face. Despite not having done much besides lying down in bed the past few days, Hao felt exhausted. The unbearing heat inside his body had resided, but he felt the remnants of it in his bones. 

He rose to his feet, wobbling to his bathroom to draw himself a much needed bath. Once he submerged himself in the water, he felt some of the tension in his body leave. He sighed, closing his eyes as sunk deeper in the bath. 

His heat, while not wildly uncomfortable, always left him drained of all energy. 

Forgetting about time, Hao soaked in the water until his skin was all shrivelled up and pruny. Only then did he burst the bubble of serenity and heaved himself out of the bathtub. He put on some fresh clothes and felt a little more human again. 

As he stepped into his room, he found his things to be a mess. 

His sheets were strewn across the room and the plates of food that Misse Kim must have arranged to be brought to him had gathered on his desk and windowsill. 

His face blushed as he made his way over to his bed, only to step over some of the blankets that did not belong to him. Hanbin had indeed kept his promise and delivered his care package to his doorstep. It had helped tremendously in providing a sense of calm and comfort in a time where usually everything felt just a little too much. 

Yet, after how things had gone down between him and Hanbin, Hao couldn’t help but be embarrassed. Left in solitude for the duration of his heat, Hao had actually spent more time than he wanted to admit thinking about Hanbin and that heated kiss they had shared before Hao’s ignorance to his own body had ruined everything. 

He urgently needed to apologize to Hanbin for the way he had acted. He hoped he could take the care package as a sign that Hanbin was not too upset by his behavior. 

Hao usually wasn’t the type to lose control over himself and his instincts and it mortified him that it had happened in front of Hanbin. But Hanbin was kind and gracious - hopefully, he would forgive Hao for his leap in judgement. 

Slowly, he began to gather all the things that had been misarranged and sorted them back into their rightful place. Everything that belonged to Hanbin he packed into the basket it had been delivered in. 

The scent of pinewood that had originally lingered on the different sets of blankets and pillows was almost completely gone, replaced by his very own rosy fragrance. Should he give them to be washed and laundered first before returning them?

That would probably be the best and most proper way to go about it. However, that would also mean involving another person, handing off the blankets Hanbin had personally delivered to him. Something instinctual inside of him also twisted uncomfortably at the notion of anyone else receiving Hanbin’s blankets, even just temporarily.

Hao sighed, spinning on his heels and dropping back onto his bed. He pressed his hands over his eyes until colorful circles appeared behind his eyelids. He was frustrated with himself.

There was no way around it. He just had to endure the humiliation and hope Hanbin would be merciful once more. 

He stood up, for a short second feeling dizzy due to his blood rushing from his head to his feet. After being confined to his room for so long, his legs itched to move. 

Perhaps, he could postpone the conversation with Hanbin a little. 

First, he needed to get some fresh air. And some proper food.

There was a bouquet of flowers sitting outside his door when he stepped outside. Unmistakably sent from Hanbin. A smile slipped onto Hao’s lips. 

 

He wandered down to the kitchen. He was too late for regular breakfast, but there were some fruits and waffles left over that Hao was able to take for himself after asking the servants. 

Since the sun was shining warmly outside, Hao thought it would be a good idea to eat in the fresh air. Anything but his own room would do. 

The scholar’s courtyard was currently busy with two classes of children being taught on the stone benches. Apparently Hao wasn’t the only one having the idea to move outside for the day, the sun enticing even the biggest homebody.  

Leaving the scholar part of the castle behind, he turned to the Queen’s garden instead. It was the biggest garden in the castle, bigger than the actual castle itself. Surely, he could find a quiet place to have his breakfast there.

He walked a little, past the lily ponds and the bamboo fields – near the rose gardens he stopped his journey. 

There was a small wooden bench left unoccupied in the corner with the blue roses. Satisfied with his choice of scenery, Hao made his way over.

He sat down, enjoying the pleasant warmth of the sun for a moment and breathing in the soft breeze. This was peace. 

He only managed to take a single bite out of his waffles with strawberries, when the sun was blocked by a person. 

At first, Hao scowled - he had looked for a secluded place to not be bothered. But then he squinted his eyes against the sun and recognized the person standing in front of him. 

“May I join you?” 

Ricky didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, he simply stole one of Hao’s strawberries from his plate and settled down on the free space next to him. 

Hao pouted, but gathered that he owed Ricky as many strawberries as he wanted. After all, he was still a free man, which meant that Ricky must’ve kept his word and not told anyone about The Rose Project.

“I haven’t seen you in Scholar Zhang’s study lately,” Ricky commented, licking the strawberry juice off his lips. 

“I’ve been…indisposed,” Hao explained and Ricky immediately nodded in understanding.

“Summer season. I get it,” he said. 

“I figure you’ve been visiting my father’s study in my stead then,” Hao asked curiously. The prince was still a little of a mystery to him. If they now shared this big, dangerous secret, he deemed it would be best to get to know him better. 

“I’ve been reading his scripture,” Ricky disclosed to him honestly. “I’ve been wanting to know what it’s all about myself after you told me about it. Gyuvin has joined me most days.”

Hao couldn’t help but snort. “I’ve heard his arrival was met with great hospitality.”

Ricky’s lips twitched as well. “We treat all our royal guests with great hospitality. He has his own wing in the royal quarters now. Right next to mine.”

“That must be quite convenient,” Hao smirked. 

“Mhh,” Ricky hummed, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Beats the study.”

Hao giggled. If anyone had told him a few weeks ago he would be sitting in the Queen’s garden with a prince, having breakfast and laughing, he would’ve never believed them. 

“I haven’t thanked you yet. For keeping your word,” Hao said, more earnest this time. “You could’ve accused me of conspiring against the crown, but you didn’t. I will always be in your debt.”

Ricky frowned. “Nonsense. What you are doing is nothing forbidden. You are a scholar. It is your duty to look at our world and understand it. Even if you find out the world works unfairly.”

“I am no scholar,” Hao corrected Ricky right away. He was just privately researching his father’s death and his old scriptures. That was far from what his father and all the other scholars were doing.

Ricky gave him a pointed look. “You are. You might not be allowed the official title and compensation without an alpha’s approval, but what you are doing is just the same.”

Hao was about to protest again, but he was too stunned by Ricky’s words. It was clear where he had gotten his knowledge from, his father’s voice coming to life through him. 

“So you’ve really read it. The Rose Project,” he said - otherwise Ricky would not have said it that way.

“Every word of it,” Ricky confirmed. “And I agree with you and your father. So does Gyuvin. Whatever it is you need to do with the project, you can count on our support.”

“I-” Hao was speechless. He had been overwhelmed by Matthew and Taerae’s support and help - but someone of Ricky’s (and Gyuvin’s) standing joining The Rose Project? 

It was simply unbelievable. 

“Thank you,” he spoke the only words appropriate at this kind of moment. 

Ricky smiled. “Just let me know when I can help. I’d like to be involved. I think this is a cause worth fighting for.”

Hao bit on his lips. It would probably be harder to keep the project secret if someone with as much attention as Ricky was involved. On the other side, Ricky was a much bigger asset than he was a burden. Ricky had real influence in the court. A prince on their side could not be dismissed easily. If they really wanted to elicit change, he was a worthwhile ally to have.

“There is some more research we need to do before we move forward,” Hao told him honestly. “Things I need to prepare. But next time we have a meeting, I will send out an invite to you.”

“You better,” Ricky threatened him playfully. 

He plopped another strawberry into his mouth, before rising to his feet. 

“I have to leave now. I’ve promised our guests to show them around the lands of the castle,” Ricky told him, very clear that he only meant the one guest currently residing next to his own chambers. He leaned down to Hao. “You didn’t hear this from me, but my aunt is planning the next ball to be held out at the great lake.”

Hao didn’t have the chance to remark on any of this information before Ricky had already disappeared through the rose bushes. 

Seemed like somehow, he had networked even harder than his mother.

Hao allowed himself the remainder of the day to rest and recover. The basket with Hanbin’s things stood guiltily in the corner of his room, reminding Hao that he had many things to take care of. For now, he decided to ignore it all in favor of hiding in the gardens with an old book. 

Only when evening turned to dawn did he get up to retire to his room. He stole himself some more food out of the kitchen, ready to head to his bed after eating a very late dinner. Tomorrow, he promised to himself, he would take care of everything. 

 

However, when he returned to his room, he startled so badly that he nearly dropped the plate of food. There was already someone waiting for him, leisurely sitting on his windowsill like he owned this place. 

“Hao!” Matthew jumped down to his feet. “Finally!”

Hao had to take a moment to calm his speeding heart down. He hadn’t expected company this late, but he supposed Matthew always found him when he least expected it. At least, he wasn’t being awoken in the middle of the night this time.

“Matthew,” Hao called him full of disbelief. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve heard you asked for me a few days ago,” Matthew shrugged. “This is the first day we are both out of confinement, so I wanted to see what that was all about.”

Hao remembered now, the reason why he had shown up to the Sung residence in the first place. He had wanted to see Matthew to tell him about the prince joining The Rose Project. 

“Right,” he said, trying to sort out his thoughts. “Are you feeling well now?”

“Good as new,” Matthew grinned. “But you never call for me unless it’s something important or dangerous, so don’t make me wait any longer to find out!”

Hao sighed, but relented. After all, this was an urgent matter and Matthew needed to know. He told him everything that had happened, including the conversation Ricky and him had shared this morning over breakfast. 

Matthew listened attentively, but other than Taerae and him, he didn’t look shaken in the least. 

“Wow, that is the juiciest gossip I have ever heard!” he gasped excitedly. 

“You cannot tell anyone,” Hao reminded him. 

Ricky had not broken his trust and Hao would like to return that favor. 

“Of course, I know that,” Matthew rolled his eyes. “But isn’t this good news? Shen Ricky and a foreign prince are powerful allies to have!”

“They will also draw additional attention to us,” Hao warned him of the consequences.

Matthew laughed, nudging him in his side. “Please, we already have you to do that.”

Hao huffed, deciding to ignore the teasing remark. “So, I guess you don’t have any reservations about both of them becoming part of the project?”

“I don’t think I have much of a say against a prince,” Matthew shrugged, like it was already a done deal. 

It made Hao frown. “No, that’s not true. The Rose Project started with you. We would’ve never found out as much without you,” Hao told him firmly. “I value your opinion more than that of any prince. If you don’t want them to be part of this, I will find a way to placate the prince.”

For the first time ever, Hao saw Matthew avert his gaze, actually looking flustered. Matthew was the most brazen and confident person Hao knew, so seeing him all coy was new - truly a rare view. 

“Wow,” Matthew tried to play it off with a casual grin. “That’s…er…yeah. Thanks.”

In a way, Hao could understand Matthew’s unusual reaction. As a servant, he was often disregarded, invisible, overlooked. It has been a great advantage for them to attain information, but it must be hard to live unseen all the time. But Hao did see Matthew as more than his duties. He had meant it when he had said that he valued Matthew more than any prince. 

Hao knew the struggle of not knowing your place in a world of noble people. Matthew, beyond all his bravado and confidence, must feel the struggle all the same.

“I don’t mind it, though. The prince and that Kim Gyuvin fellow joining,” Matthew cleared his throat. “The more support we have, the better, right?”

Hao gave him a gentle smile. “Right,” he ended up agreeing. “But if you ever change your mind, let me know. You have a voice in this, too, and I’ll make sure to hear it.”

Matthew returned his smile, much less mischievous than most of them were. “I will,” he promised. “And I value your opinion a lot, too.”

Hao felt his heart warm. He had hoped to find a friend when he returned to the castle all those months ago and he felt like he found an irreplaceable one in Matthew. 

“Thank you,” Hao told him earnestly. 

The food on his plate had probably gone cold now. Over telling Matthew everything, he had completely forgotten about his hunger, but now the craving returned that much stronger. Before he dug in by himself, he produced a second set of chopsticks for Matthew. 

“Do you want a bite?” He offered. 

Matthew accepted the cutlery without hesitation. He joined Hao at his desk, picking up a piece of grilled tofu. 

“So,” Matthew said, swallowing his bite. His smile was back to its teasing nature. “How long do you expect me to ignore the basket reeking of Hanbin’s scent standing in the corner?”

Hao felt his cheeks flush with heat. He groaned, trying to hide his face behind his hands. Of course, knowing Matthew, it had only been a matter of time until he got teased about something again.

“Forever, if that’s possible,” Hao mumbled, making Matthew cackle. 

“No, I don’t think that’s possible,” Matthew told him with a wide grin. 

Hao was about to curl into himself in embarrassment when he remembered something. Perhaps it was time to turn the tables for once.

“What about you then?” He decided to attack, raising his eyebrows at Matthew.

Matthew looked perplexed. “What about me?”

“Back when I was looking for you, I ran into Jiwoong,” Hao disclosed to him. “He was carrying something pretty similar to that basket to bring to you.”

Matthew’s eyes grew to the size of plates. “That’s- that’s not- that’s different!” He spluttered. “Jiwoong is just a friend who is looking out for me! We are not courting like you and Hanbin! It’s completely different!”

“Mhhh,” Hao hummed with an ironic smirk. “Totally different.”

Matthew continued to ramble nonsensical phrases, clearly flustered being put on the spot all of a sudden. It made Hao have mercy on him. 

“Matthew,” his tone was much more gentle now. “You know that Jiwoong cares about you, right?”

Matthew was avoiding his eyes, picking at the plate of food instead. 

“We’re friends,” he muttered quietly. 

Hao let out a breath. He wasn’t sure if he should meddle in this relationship, but somehow he felt inclined to offer his point of view. 

“I think Jiwoong sees you as a little more than just a friend,” he said. “You can see it in his eyes whenever he looks at you.”

Matthew turned to look at him. “His eyes?” 

“You must feel it too,” Hao said softly. “He is very fond of you.”

“I…I-” Matthew stuttered, cheeks tinting red. Then he decisively turned his head away. “It doesn’t matter. It would never work out.”

It was rare to see Matthew flustered and shy, but it was even rarer to see him not optimistic about something.

“Why wouldn’t it?” Hao asked him, confused. 

“I admit, I’ve…noticed it before. And I might harbor…similar affections,” Matthew confided in him. He looked surprised by his own words. “Wow, I’ve never said that out loud before.”

It only made Hao more puzzled. “But if you return his feelings, then why wouldn’t it work out?”

“Because I’m a servant, Hao. We’re not meant to be courted or to have great romantic love stories. We are expected to serve, to earn money to eventually return to the countryside and settle down,” Matthew told him. “And Jiwoong is in the guard. His duty is to the castle and the Sung family.”

Hao’s heart hurt hearing Matthew draw out his own future so devastatingly. Like it was all already written for him, set in stone with no way of changing it.

“This doesn’t have to be your story,” Hao told him.

“You know, I always hated living in the countryside. It’s so boring and lonely there. That’s why when the opportunity came for me to leave for the castle, I took it right away,” Matthew shared with him. “And I think I belong here. I don’t want to find a mate only to settle down somewhere out there.”

It seemed like Matthew had thought about this before. Hao related to his sentiments of the countryside. He had experienced its loneliness as well. He could imagine how someone as lively as Matthew would find returning there to settle down draining. 

 “You know,” Hao said, reaching for Matthew’s hand and squeezing it comfortingly. “Someone once told me that we make our own legacies.”

Matthew glanced at him bemused. “Legacies are only for noble or rich people.”

“No,” Hao shook his head firmly. “Legacy is what you do with your life, what you want to leave behind.” He took a deep breath. “You are right. Your place is in the castle. Your place is with The Rose Project. You were made for great things, Matthew, greater things than serving tea and washing laundry.”

Matthew looked at him a bit stunned. 

“And if you want to have a love story grander than life, you can have that, too,” Hao added, full of conviction. Matthew deserved to write his own story. There was no such thing as pre-written destiny. The future was up to them. At least, that was what Hao believed.

Matthew was silent for a moment. 

“People are wrong,” he finally said. “They say your greatest asset is your beauty. But it’s not. It’s your fierce mind, Hao, and your kindness. Especially your kindness.”

The words made Hao soften.

He smiled at Matthew. “And yours is your bravery,” he returned the compliment. “So be brave about your heart as well.”

Matthew let out a soft laugh. Then he put his chopsticks down, rising to his feet. 

“I’ll go to bed now,” Matthew told him. “Thanks for the food. And the talk.”

“Always,” Hao said softly. He never thought of himself as being good with words, but if he had encouraged Matthew in any way at all, he couldn’t ask for more.

Matthew smirked. “If you don’t return that basket tomorrow, I will send Hanbin your way, alright?”

Hao gasped, but before he could retort anything, Matthew had left, his high giggles echoing through the hallway.

He shook his head. It seemed like they both needed to gather some more bravery.

The next morning Hao woke up with his mind set. He’s fallen behind enough these past days, it was time to get things done. 

Besides, he has been informed that his mother would also return to the castle today and he wanted to deal with all the embarrassing duties before he would tell her about the events of the last days. He gathered Hanbin’s basket in his arms, having covered it with a freshly washed blanket so the scent wasn’t too obvious.

Also, by now he knew that Matthew’s threats were never empty. 

Just as he thought so, there was a knock on his door. It startled Hao, who wasn’t expecting anyone this early in the morning. 

Was his mother back already? But her arrival had been scheduled for the afternoon! 

He put the basket back down to open his door. 

Perhaps he had underestimated Matthew’s impatience. 

Sung Hanbin was standing on the opposite side of the door, lifting his head when Hao opened it for him. He was carrying a bouquet of orchids in his hands.

“Hao!” He slightly bowed. “Sorry to disturb you so early in the morning, did I wake you up?”

Confronted with the sudden sight of him, Hao felt his heart pick up speed. The last time he had seen Hanbin, he hadn’t been in the clearest state of mind. Despite having prepared to see Hanbin again today, he was horribly flustered facing him now.

“N-no, I was up already,” Hao quickly replied, awkwardly fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt. “Erm…did Matthew send you?”

Hanbin wrinkled his brows, looking cutely confused. “Matthew? No, but I-” he looked a bit sheepish now. “I’ve heard from him that you are feeling well again. So I wanted to see you.”

“Oh,” Hao breathed out. 

He knew what he should do. Explain himself, apologize, return that basket - but the words wouldn’t leave his lips, stuck in his throat. Which was a rarity, because usually whenever he was with Hanbin, they couldn’t stop speaking. 

Now they both seemed a little awkward, not knowing what to say.

It was Hanbin who took the first step. “Can we go somewhere to talk in private?”

Hao nodded, eager to clear the air between them and return to their usual level of comfortable conversation.

“Please, come inside,” he offered, stepping aside so Hanbin could come into his room, where they could talk without any distractions.

Hanbin’s cheeks flushed a bright pink. “I…oh…is that alright?”

Hao blinked, puzzled by Hanbin’s hesitation. He’s been inside his room before. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Hanbin scratched his neck. “Just…you’ve been…in there…and I don’t want to…overstep.”

It took Hao a moment to understand Hanbin’s reservations - but he had aired out his room and cleaned it properly, so any traces of his heat should be gone by now. His face started glowing with warmth, but he fought through it.

“You’re not overstepping,” he insisted. “Except, if you prefer another place, then we can go there.”

“I-” Hanbin bit down on his lip. “No, this will be fine.”

He stepped past Hao into the room, who closed the door behind him.

Hao really wasn’t sure how to handle this sudden weird tension between them. Had he really ruined everything between them? He didn’t want to think so. His feelings for Hanbin had grown so tender, if Hanbin were to end the courtship, Hao would feel devastated. 

Hanbin was standing in the middle of the room, staring intently at the bed. Then he tore his gaze away and walked over to his desk instead, pulling out the chair to sit down.

Hao followed him, sitting down on the chair next to him. Their knees brushed as he did so and both of them jerked back as if the touch had burned them. Hao felt awful. Had his actions really made Hanbin feel so uncomfortable that he couldn’t even touch him anymore?

Hanbin cleared his throat. “Hao, I-”

“I’m sorry!” Hao blurted out first, looking down in his lap shamefully. Apologizing was the least he could do in this situation.

It was silent for a moment, in which Hao didn’t dare to look at Hanbin’s reaction. He didn’t want confirmation of his worst fears, namely that he had ruined everything that had been growing between them. When he finally did look, he found Hanbin looking confused. 

“You’re sorry?” Hanbin repeated as if the words didn’t make sense to him. 

Hao nodded. “Yes. I…acted really inappropriately and it must’ve made you uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable?”

“And yet you were so kind as to…as to bring me this,” Hao pointed to the basket. “But I understand if I crossed a boundary. I hope you can see past my behavior. I’m not usually that reckless with my…with my heat.”

He barely whispered the word, feeling heat creep up his face. 

“It just surprised me this year. I’m sorry I subjected you to that. It must’ve been shocking.”

Now that he had started, the words just sputtered out of him, all the worries finally coming to the surface.

“I wasn’t uncomfortable,” Hanbin stated calmly. 

Hao snapped his head up, trying to make out Hanbin’s expression. He didn’t look…upset? 

“You weren’t?” He asked breathlessly.

Hanbin shook his head. “Not in the slightest.”

“Oh-”

“I’ve actually…really liked it. Being close to you. Scenting you,” Hanbin said, only making Hao’s heart skip even more beats. 

Had he misread this all along?

Hanbin shuffled a little closer to him, reaching for Hao’s hands. This time, the touch didn’t feel like too much. It was comforting. 

“I’ve just…I wasn’t sure if I crossed a boundary. I should be the sorry one. You weren’t in your right state of mind,” Hanbin told him, looking quite torn. “I should’ve noticed it sooner when your scent had changed. I wasn’t sure if you really wanted it.”

Hao took a moment to breathe. It seemed like they had been worried senselessly about the same thing. It was almost funny how similar they were. 

“I’ve initiated it,” Hao stated, not wanting Hanbin to believe he had done anything Hao hadn’t wanted him to do.

“Yes, but you weren’t-”

“I’m still the same person,” Hao said clearly. “Some…some instincts might be stronger, but I can still make my own decisions. I’m still myself during....”

Hanbin glanced at him through his bangs. “So you’ve…you wanted…”

Hao tried to swallow the embarrassment the best he could. Hanbin had been honest with him, so he deserved the same honesty in return.

“I might not have asked for it if I weren't driven by instincts,” Hao said, squeezing Hanbin’s hands. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want it.”

Hanbin looked at him full of awe. The absolute tenderness in his eyes was too overwhelming for Hao to look at for longer than a few seconds, so he shyly turned his head away.

“That’s…that’s good,” Hanbin finally said.

Hao nodded, happy that they had set things straight. “So I guess nobody has to be sorry then?”

Hanbin’s lips twitched into a smile. “No, I suppose not,” he agreed. His smile turned a little coy as he leaned a little closer to him. “Does this mean I can scent you again?”

Hao hadn’t expected that request. It made his heart ponder nervously.

“Sorry, it’s just…my minds been sort of…occupied with the thought of it lately,” Hanbin told him, cheeks dusted pink.

Scenting was intimate. They had been courting for a couple of months, it wouldn’t be an unusual thing to do for a couple at their stage. It was an action reserved for family members marking their young children, and for lovers. It symbolized belonging. 

And who was Hao kidding? He had asked for it first. He still remembered the pleasant shiver that had run down his body when Hanbin had left his scent on him. It’s been on his mind more than any other thing.

“Mine too,” he admitted as much. Courage, he thought to himself. He was allowed to want good things. “I would really like it, I think.”

Hanbin beamed at him. “Can I now?”

Hao’s heart did a flip. Hanbin was looking at him full of reverence, gaze so sweet on him. 

“I…yes,” Hao agreed, secretly yearning for it.

For a moment, he feared the weird tension between them would return - but it didn’t. Instead, it felt quite natural as Hanbin leaned closer to him, making Hao bare his neck for him. Softly, he nuzzled his nose against his throat and Hao sensed the scent of pinewood wrap around him like a warm cloud.

A pleased sigh fell from his lips. When Hanbin was done, he pressed a short kiss to his neck, before retreating.

Hao’s entire body was tingling. It was like he had just taken a shower of warmth and comfort and all other good things on this earth combined. His heart glowed in happiness. 

Hanbin was smiling as well, little crinkles appearing on his cheeks like the whiskers of a cat. They basked in the moment, no awkwardness left, only the mutual affection deep in their hearts that spoke louder than any words. 

Hanbin broke the silence first, letting out a long sigh of devastation.

“I have to leave now. I’m shadowing Lord Baek today for his dance lessons,” Hanbin told him. “But I wanted to see you first.”

“Oh!” Hao’s expression lit up hearing the good news. “You need to tell me all about it later!”

“Do you have plans for dinner tonight?” Hanbin asked right away.

Hao shook his head. “My mother returns this afternoon, but she doesn’t expect me to join her for dinner.”

“Then will you join me?” Hanbin asked him hopefully. “I feel like we haven’t spoken in ages.”

It made Hao giggle. It’s only been three days since their last conversation - but he couldn’t say he didn’t understand Hanbin’s sentiment. 

“I would be honored,” Hao agreed more than happy. 

“The honor is all mine,” Hanbin said, pulling Hao’s hand to his lips to press a soft kiss to it. 

Hao laughed sweetly at the display of chivalry. Hanbin never failed to make him feel special

“You better hurry now. I already made you give up your old occupation, I don’t want to be responsible for you losing your new one,” Hao teased him, which made Hanbin laugh. 

“You didn’t make me give up. You saved me,” he insisted, but got up out of his chair. “But you are right, I should hurry.”

Hanbin always had a way to make his heart pound.

“I’ll come to your room at seven to pick you up,” Hanbin let him know.

Before he could disappear through his door, Hao remembered what he had initially planned to do.

“Hanbin, wait!” He called out, getting the basket. “Thank you again. It really helped me. I wanted to return it to you.”

Hanbin looked down at the basket, then he looked back at Hao. He pushed the basket back into his arms.

“Keep it. It’s yours,” he said. “I’m only glad it helped.”

Before Hao could make up a reply, Hanbin had closed the distance between them and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his lips.

“I’ll see you tonight,” he smiled brightly, before ultimately turning to the door to leave for his duties.

Hao’s heart followed him out as his body remained firmly rooted to the floor. His heart would probably follow Hanbin everywhere. After all, it had been Hanbin’s to keep for a long time now.

Notes:

thanks for reading!!

sorry if you expected smut but i gave up on writing it so this will probably be the level of steamy it's gonna get >.<

but yeah, this story has reached 500 Kudos!! that's awesome!! i can never really believe that my stories reach so many people, im really happy and appreciate all of you for taking the time to read this!! :3

have a wonderful weekend!! :3

Chapter 17: Begonias

Summary:

begonias. symbol for warnings about future misfortunes or challenges; dark and unpleasant thoughts that distract you from your happiness and joy

Notes:

Happy pride month!! :3
a little more angst today huhu but i'm sure you can handle it!! enjoy :D

The next few days, Hao felt like a new sense of purpose was fueling his every move. He woke up with the first light of the sun, made a first trip to the library and then locked himself into his father’s study to work. 

There were two main goals set in his mind. The first one was finding proof for the murder of his father. The second one was editing The Rose Project into a publishable scripture.

He always started his days working on the first one. Finding out the truth behind his father’s death was what had started this all. He would not give up until he found justice. 

Whenever he went to the library, he walked past all the scriptures and headed straight to the records. There was an entire shelf filled with records about castle personnel. Then they were records of all the noblemen and their endless family trees. After that, there was an entire section of foreign noblemen. The possibility that his father could’ve looked for support outside of their kingdom was not zero. After all, scholars were some of the best connected people, collaborating for research beyond boundaries. So, Hao had to look through all of these records as well.

By now, he knew the five names on that ominous list by heart. However, so far, except for Taerae’s father, they hadn’t been able to identify anyone else on the list. 

Since it was a tedious task, Hao had asked Taerae and Matthew to help him out with it whenever they found the time. Matthew had also promised to ask around the servants, as servants knew more names than probably anyone else in the castle. And Taerae said he was going to subtly bring the names up to his father, to see if there was any connection between them. 

It was a long process, but it was their only lead. In the end, they had no choice but to follow it. If they found proof, all the effort would be more than worth it.

Once all the names he read started to blur together and he was no longer able to absorb any of them, he switched tasks. 

Working on The Rose Project was a lot more fun, but that didn’t mean it was any less difficult. What his father had written so far was a loose collection of information. It needed to be sorted out, presented in a way that people could easily follow it. There was a lot of information to go through and Hao didn’t want to ruin his father’s hard work by shortening it for the sake of simplicity. 

Still, he decided that if they wanted many people to know about the injustice omegas were facing, he needed to break down The Rose Project to its most important parts. 

Once he had decided on first writing up a short version, another idea had come to his mind. He wanted to publish The Rose Project in its entirety at some point - but it couldn’t hurt to distribute a shorter, compiled version first. After all, they would publish under no name. Interest would be low in a scripture that had no name to it if they didn’t somehow create curiosity.

Hao had said they would make trouble. He wanted to stir things up. Even if that included…unconventional means of publishing and distributing a philosophical work.

The idea had come to him in his sleep. The easiest way of distributing papers is to hand them out to as many people as possible themselves. However, to secure their anonymity, they couldn’t just walk around the castle and wave the papers around. 

They could, however, send the papers flying. 

All they needed was a big enough crowd. 

Since Hao needed to write all of the flying papers per hand, it would take him some time to get a large enough quantity ready. He wanted to at least write 500. If they were causing trouble, he wanted it to be big trouble.

At first, he had hoped he would get it all ready before the next ball, so they could send the papers flying there, but he soon had to admit that it was an impossible task to accomplish in such a short time span. 

The next ball had been announced for the end of the month, which was now only two weeks away. Besides, like Ricky had hinted, it would take place outside of the castle, which made the logistics of the entire operation much harder. 

No, they had to wait for a different opportunity to use the flying papers. 

 

Hao had just finished another successful day of work, making his way back to his room in a good mood. He had managed to write three more flying papers today, which was one more than he usually wrote in a day. 

He decided to take the detour through the scholar’s courtyard and gardens. The sun was shining low in the sky and it was still pleasantly warm. A deep sense of joy made Hao’s chest glow. 

He allowed himself a moment to take it all in. He was here and he was happy. He didn’t feel like a total outsider anymore. Half a year ago, that would’ve felt impossible to him. His life had taken a completely unexpected turn, but somehow, it had been exactly what he needed. 

Serenity fell over the garden as vibrant pink Begonias bloomed underneath the setting sun. It smelled of earth and herbs and summer, birds singing in the sycamore trees above him, building their nests in the branches full of green leaves. Life was vibrant and he was vivid.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

It was all too perfect. 

“Zhang Hao.”

A cold voice cut through the peaceful silence. Hao startled around, having assumed to be alone out here. 

When he recognized who had called his name, his body froze. 

It was Lord Yoon senior, Yoon Yeochan. Seulchoo’s father and the person who had authorized the testament of his father merely a day before his death. The person who Hao suspected the most to be guilty for his father’s death. 

His heart was beating wildly, mind rushing. He had not encountered Lord Yoon since he had cornered him on the eastern tower. Just the memory gave him shivers. Lord Yoon’s presence alone made the temperature around him drop, like shadows were glued to him everywhere he showed up and the sunlight vanished in his presence. Wherever he went, nothing good would follow. 

Despite his harsh feelings for the man, Hao had enough sense left to bow. “Lord Yoon.”

“What a pleasant evening it is,” the nobleman commented as he took a step closer. “Don’t you think?”

Instinctively, Hao shuffled away, but Lord Yoon didn’t seem to pay his discomfort any mind. 

“Very pleasant,” Hao agreed slowly, the fear rising inside of him laming his tongue.

“Rumors say you have been making yourself scarce around the castle lately,” Lord Yoon said casually, as if they were still discussing the weather. “What is keeping an omega like you busy?”

Hao couldn’t help but narrow his gaze. Why was a nobleman interested in his whereabouts? Was he suspecting Hao as much as Hao was suspecting him? Did he sense that Hao was figuring out the secrets of his father? That he would find out that Lord Yoong had been involved?

“I enjoy being alone. I’m not good with crowds, so I like to keep to myself,” Hao said, calculative with his words. “People just like to make up rumors.”

“But being alone all the time cannot be healthy,” Lord Yoon insisted. “You must have someone to keep you company. Certainly, my son has tried.”

Hao had to bite down on his tongue to keep himself from making a less than flattering remark about Lord Yoon’s son. He would rather be alone for the rest of his life than spend a minute more with Seulchoo. 

“I’m already being courted,” Hao told him firmly. “I’ve made my choice.”

“Sung Hanbin, so I’ve heard,” Lord Yoon smiled wickedly. “You might want to reconsider.”

Hao huffed, getting irritated. “Why would I want that?”

Lord Yoon’s gaze darkened. “You’ve turned twenty-four this year. Your time is running out to find a suitable match.”

Hao’s breath got stuck in his throat. Twenty-four was not an old age for people to start seriously thinking about mating. Had anyone else said this to him, he would not have taken it seriously. 

But it was Lord Yoon who had said it. Lord Yoon, who knew of the will. Lord Yoon knew Hao had to find a mate until the age of 25, otherwise he and his mother would lose all their belongings. To Hao, it was more than clear that he alluded to that paragraph in the testament. He was acknowledging the existence of the will. 

Which meant he knew that Hao knew about it. They might’ve returned the original will to its place in the vault, but page four was still missing from it, safe with his mother. Lord Yoon must’ve looked for the will and figured out that the fourth page was with them. 

It only confirmed Hao’s suspicions that Lord Yoon was not innocent. What exactly his role was, what exactly he gained from this, he wasn’t sure. But for some reason, Lord Yoon was interested in Hao and his father’s death. 

For a second, Hao considered playing dumb, pretending not to understand what Lord Yoon was hinting at. But Lord Yoon wasn’t stupid, and he knew that Hao wasn’t stupid either. 

“I’ve made my choice,” he repeated, facing Lord Yoon with as much courage as he could gather.

“Maybe it’s the wrong choice,” Lord Yoon said. “My son might be better suited for the position.”

“Lord Yoon,” Hao said coldly, trying to draw a clear line. “You are overstepping. You are not my chaperone. You have no say about who I chose as a mate.”

Lord Yoon’s grimace turned ugly. “You need to remember who you are talking to, omega ,” he hissed, hardly suppressing his anger anymore. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt. I thought a scholar’s son would prefer words over violence.”

“V-violence?” Hao’s breath hitched. 

Was Lord Yoon threatening him? Or…worse, was he threatening Hanbin? 

“I’m just saying,” Lord Yoon retreated a little. “Don’t break my son’s heart. That would be too brutal and you are not a violent person, I know that.”

It was a twisted game he was playing. Unlike his son, who often chose his words bluntly, Lord Yoon was very calculative in the way he spoke. But oh, the real intention behind his words was obvious. He didn’t mean that Hao was the violent one, breaking hearts, even if that was what he was saying. It was just a cover for what he was really meaning. 

If Hao didn’t give Seulchoo another chance, someone might get hurt.

Panic spread in his chest. So far, he had been able to swallow the fear, hide it behind a facade of false confidence. Now, he was crumbling. The instinct to run overcame him.

“My mother is expecting me,” he lied, bowing his head. “I need to leave.”

 

He didn’t wait to be excused, instead turning on his heels and walking away as fast as his feet would carry him. 

He felt a little nauseous as he made it to the safety of his room. He pressed his back against the door, trying to take deep breaths. His knees gave up underneath him and he slowly sunk to the ground. His heart was pounding against his chest, short of breaking his ribs. 

The world was spinning around him. As a young boy, he had often played with a spintop. He imagined this was what it would feel like to be one. 

Lord Yoon’s words echoed in his head. He should reconsider. Violence. Reconsider. Violence. 

He hid his face in his hands and noticed disturbed that it was wet. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and he quickly wiped them away. The fear had caught up to him now. Like an all-consuming monster it had taken over him, pulling him deep, deep under until it was hard to breathe. 

Only one thought was crystal clear in his mind. Lord Yoon was the one who had murdered his father. He was sure of it. He had no proof, but he just knew. 

The fact that he knew and yet could do nothing about it made him feel powerless. Weak. It was an unjust world, one where the truth could mean nothing if told by the wrong people. What could he even do? Lord Yoon was a powerful man, he had connections, assets that only a man of his standing had access to. Meanwhile, Hao was left with only his voice.

It was frustrating. All this work they put into finding proof, and yet Lord Yoon was walking around the castle a free man, unpunished for his crimes. They had chosen this fight, but sometimes everything made Hao feel so hopeless. Was there even a chance that what they were doing would change anything?

No. No, he couldn’t think like that. He couldn’t give up before the fight had really started. Only because Lord Yoon had made a move, didn’t mean they would let themselves be threatened into silence. 

He scolded himself internally, forcing himself out of the thought spiral. Now was not the time to let himself be intimidated. Now was not the time to be weak. 

Flowers only bloom with courage. 

He wiped the rest of his tears away. 

Unfortunately, Hao didn’t get a lot of time to really think about Lord Yoon’s words the next day. He didn’t want to let himself be threatened, but he also didn’t think it was wise to ignore the implications of the conversation. Not wanting to make a hasty decision, he had wanted to sleep one night over it, before making up his mind and coming up with a plan. After all, there were more people involved than himself. People he wanted to protect. One person especially. The fact that Lord Yoon had mentioned Hanbin by name alarmed him greatly. If Hanbin really would be in danger because of him…no, Hao didn’t even want to think about it. But he needed to. For the sake of Hanbin’s safety, he needed to come up with a plan. He needed to make a choice on what he was willing to sacrifice.

However, his mother seemed to have remembered her role as his chaperone and demanded his full attention. 

Hao wished he could focus on what his mother was telling him about the upcoming ball, but his thoughts still circled around that dooming conversation with Lord Yoon. His mother must’ve noticed his distraction, as she stopped her monologue. 

“Zhang Hao!” She snapped her fingers in front of his face, making Hao shriek in surprise.

He shook his head, trying once more to not get lost in his own head. His mother sighed, clearly displeased with his absentmindedness. 

“Are you listening now?” She asked him, stemming her hands in her hips. 

“Yes,” Hao nodded, pressing his lips together. “Sorry.”

“You better are. This next ball is important,” his mother told him. According to her, every ball was important. “Maybe I should accompany you instead of Hanbin.”

This really made Hao snap out of his head. Him and his mother had previously come to the agreement that since Hanbin had proven to be a trustworthy partner, she would no longer need to chaperone his every public appearance. He had been looking forward to being accompanied to the ball by no one but Hanbin.

“No! No, please, Hanbin is perfectly capable of taking me to the ball.”

His mother looked skeptical. “He for sure was very forthcoming during your flu, so I’ve heard.”

Hao flushed, heat creeping up his cheeks. Of course, his mother had interrogated him about his heat once she had returned to the castle from her own ‘flu break’. It hadn’t helped his case a lot that he still had Hanbin’s scent on him when she had come to see him. 

“Hanbin has been a perfect gentleman, you know that,” Hao defended him, as it was the truth. “Lady Kim attested to it.”

“Mhh,” his mother hummed. “I know you’ve progressed in your relationship and it’s good that your feelings for each other seem to be growing, but Hao, we still have to be careful. You know what’s at stake.”

Hao swallowed, throat feeling very tight. Oh, he knew more than well what was at stake. Probably more than his mother would want him to know.

“I’ve heard the next ball would take place outside the castle, at the great lakes,” Hao tried to distract his mother with new intel he knew she would be interested in. 

Usually, it was her who knew all about the upcoming courting events, but Hao guessed it was only fair that he shared his own inside knowledge. 

It worked, as his mother let go of discussing Hanbin. 

“Outside? Where have you heard that?” She questioned him, pursing her lips. 

For a moment, Hao considered being honest and telling her about Prince Ricky - but he supposed he had given his mother enough things to be worried about lately. He feared she would suffer a heart attack would she learn about his connection to the Prince.

“The servants were whispering,” he settled for a little white lie instead. 

“Really?” She wondered out loud, clearly intrigued. “I’ll have to confirm with my sources, but if that’s true, I’ll have to make some arrangements. Your robes would have to be altered a little. And we would need to order a carriage to take you.”

“I’m sure Hanbin can take care of the carriage,” Hao assured her before she would start scheming on how to make his entrance the most grande. He wouldn’t put it past her to order a golden carriage. “The Sung family travels a lot. I’m sure they will have one to accommodate us.”

His mother narrowed her eyes on him. Then she relented. “Fine. Hanbin can take you.”

Hao smiled gratefully. He knew his mother didn’t like passing over control. Maybe, a part of him also thought that she didn’t like the idea of not being the only one taking care of him anymore, passing that duty on to Hanbin as well. It had been just the two of them for a long time. Being taken by Hanbin to the ball instead of by her meant that Hao was moving on. Without her.

It was a scary step, but also one Hao felt a sort of nervous excitement from.

“Thank you,” Hao told her sincerely. 

His mother might not have always been honest with him, but he knew that she always had his best interest at heart.

“Now, I need to advance accordingly,” his mother said, never one to get sentimental. “I’ve also told Lady Kim you’d be joining her son for further dancing lessons. They expect you at noon”

She didn’t let him get in another word, already storming out of his room, muttering to herself underneath her breath. Hao had no doubt it would take her no longer than a few hours to confirm his rumor.

Hao looked at the clock on his desk. There wasn’t much time left until noon. It seemed like he would have to take a break from The Rose Project for today, but that didn’t displease him too much. 

Besides, he really needed to talk to Taerae - so meeting up with him had been on his agenda anyway.

 

Hao knew the Kim residence well by now. Just like last time, the table in the dining room had been pushed to the side to make enough room for dancing. The small musical ensemble was already tuning their instruments in the corner when Hao made his entrance, let in by a servant.

Taerae was waving him over, smiling painfully. 

“I’ve heard you’ve also been enslaved to this again,” he greeted him. 

Hao had to laugh. While he hadn’t overly enjoyed his last dancing lessons with Lord Baek, there were worse ways to spend his afternoon. At least he would be with Taerae.

“I need to talk to you about something later,” Hao told his friend right away. If he didn’t get to talk to someone about Lord Yoon soon, his head would explode from overthinking.

Taerae was usually the right person to go to for these kinds of conversations.

Taerae seemed to sense his shift in mood right away, frowning concerned. “Alright. Is everything well with you?”

“Yes, it’s just-”

Before Hao could finish his sentence, the door swung open.

Lady Kim was walking in, but accompanying him wasn’t Lord Baek, as Hao had expected, but Hanbin. 

Hao’s heart skipped a beat once his eyes fell on him. They had seen each other for iced tea and a stroll yesterday afternoon, but Hao still missed him every time they parted. He wondered if the point would ever come where he didn’t want to spend more time with Hanbin, but he doubted it ever would.

“Lord Baek couldn’t make it today,” Lady Kim explained to them. “But he assured me that Lord Sung would take equally good care of you.”

Taerae exchanged a glance with him. His friend’s mood had lifted within a second of the announcement. Hao felt for him. Lord Baek had been unreasonably harsh on his friend for years, criticizing his dancing when it was already flawless.

“It will be my honor,” Hanbin told her, bowing his head in respect. 

“I’ll leave you alone then,” she said, stepping out of the room again. 

Hanbin’s smile was dazzling as he made his way over to them. 

Hao could feel his own cheeks pinch up. Hanbin had told him about his new work. Apparently, Lord Baek mostly took him along to his lessons, making him run errands and schedule duties - in return he was recommending Hanbin to other families looking for a dance teacher. 

So far, Hanbin had been employed by two families, looking for dance lessons before the next ball would be announced. When Hanbin shared the news with him, he was glowing with excitement. Hao had been so proud of him back then, for following his dream, nevermind the fear and uncertainty. 

Despite knowing of Hanbin’s career change, he hadn’t expected to see him here of all places. Lord Baek was not officially retiring yet, although he seemed to have warmed up to the idea now that he had someone to pass his duties off to. 

It was a delightful surprise to see Hanbin in his stead today as well. 

Not only because he was always delighted to see Hanbin, but also because Hao already knew he would be an immensely better teacher than Lord Baek.

“What a nice surprise,” Taerae said when Hanbin approached them. “So it’s true what Hao has been telling me and you’ve joined us scholars.”

Hanbin smiled bashfully. “Lord Baek has been kind enough to advise me on my new duties.”

“Your new duties suit you well,” Taerae let him know. “Although I’m surprised to hear anyone refer to Lord Baek as kind.”

Hanbin looked a bit shocked by Taerae’s blunt comment, before cracking a smile.

“I see why Matthew befriended you,” he laughed.

Taerae grinned amused, apparently satisfied by having made Hanbin laugh. 

 “So, has Lord Baek briefed you about us?” Taerae asked him. 

“I like to make my own picture,” Hanbin answered. His eyes flickered over to Hao. “Although I might be a bit biased.”

Hao couldn’t help but smile coyly. 

Taerae snorted. “Alright, let’s get started then. You want to teach Hao first?”

Hanbin tore his gaze away from him. 

“Oh, whatever you prefer. You could also dance with each other while I observe from the outside, if that’s what you are most comfortable with,” Hanbin suggested, always accommodating everyone's wishes.

“Me first then,” Taerae decided easily. “I would never deny you the chance to dance with Hao.”

Hanbin’s ears tinted pink, but he didn’t argue with Taerae’s plan of action. He instructed Hao softly to take a seat on the sidelines for now. 

Perhaps it was a good thing Taerae went first. It left Hao some time to calm down his beating heart. Hao watched as Hanbin gently led Taerae into the rhythm. Unlike all the times he had seen Taerae dance before, he seemed happy this time, naturally following Hanbin’s lead. 

Hanbin kept praising him as well, which made Taerae even more pleased, who had never gotten complimented for his dancing before. It was more than obvious that Hanbin was a born teacher and Hao was once more glad that Hanbin had had the bravery to pursue his real calling. 

With a soft smile he observed how they danced around the room, the flow of the music easily carrying them. 

He hadn’t expected to see Hanbin today, and he for sure hadn’t expected to get to dance with him before the next ball. 

As much as he wanted to feel joyous about this turn of events, once again, Lord Yoon’s words cut through his mind. 

Hanbin…would he be harmed by further associating with him? Hanbin didn’t even know about the content of the will. His mother had warned him about telling anyone about it, for they might want to court him for the wrong reasons once word spread about it. 

Inheriting a massive fortune and property could be an incentive to anyone, really. It could easily ruin someone’s morals.

Hao knew Hanbin wasn’t the kind of person to court someone because of such superficial reasons. Hanbin had assured him over and over again that - for whatever reason - he found Hao wonderful.

Still, telling Hanbin about the will could change things. Hanbin wasn’t stupid. He might very well put together that such a testament was very unusual and that something about Hao wasn’t normal. He might understand that courting Hao would not be as easy as if he were just any other omega. 

He really hoped Hanbin wouldn’t change his mind, but he also couldn’t blame him if he did. After all, the possibility of real danger had become more than palpable. 

Lord Yoon had made it very clear that he was not afraid of threatening people. 

Hao bit on his tongue. If he was being honest with himself, it wasn’t fair to keep Hanbin in the dark for much longer. By courting Hao, he had unknowingly made himself a target. 

Hao couldn’t live with himself if anything would happen to Hanbin only because he had decided to show kindness to Hao.

Conflicted, Hao realized that he was at a crossroad. 

“Hao?”

He flinched. He had gotten lost in his own head again. 

Hanbin was standing in front of him with a small smile, holding out his hand for him. 

“It’s your turn,” Hanbin said, helping Hao out of his chair. 

Despite everything, Hao’s heart fluttered as he took his hand. Gently, Hanbin guided him towards the middle of the room. 

“Hey,” Hanbin breathed as he placed his hands on Hao’s body.

“Hey,” Hao smiled back breathlessly, his skin tingling where Hanbin was touching him. 

The ensemble was playing an upbeat tune and smoothly Hanbin made them fall into rhythm. His hands were incredibly soft where they rested on Hao’s waist. Hao always felt safe whenever Hanbin held him.

A shattering thought hit him. Would Hanbin ever be safe with him?

“You are in deep thought,” Hanbin noticed as he spun them around. “What has your mind so occupied today? Something you’ve read?”

Of course, Hao was like an open book. It had always been hard for him to hide his emotions and Hanbin had always been attuned to him. 

“Not something I’ve read, but something somebody said to me,” Hao disclosed as honestly as he could. 

“You look worried,” Hanbin pointed out. “Is there something I can do?”

“I-” Hao’s words got stuck in his throat. Even now, when Hao was hiding the truth, was secretly putting Hanbin in danger, he was still so kind. 

What had Hao done to deserve so much kindness?

“No,” he said decisively. “No, it’s my problem. I’ll figure it out.”

Hao knew that sooner or later he had to make a choice. Sooner or later, it seemed, he had to choose between Hanbin’s safety and his own heart.

“If you don’t want to share your concerns with me, I understand. You know you can talk to me about anything,” Hanbin told him, as always too sweet. “I just wish there was something I could do to ease your mind.”

Hanbin’s gaze was soft on him and Hao couldn’t help but to fall deeper into those eyes.

“You already are,” he said. “Holding me. Dancing with me. That’s all I need.”

A smile lit up Hanbin’s features and Hao had never seen a lovelier sight. He would do anything to protect that smile. 

“Then I will hold you forever,” Hanbin promised him with a gleeful grin. “And since I’m now officially your dance teacher, there will be lots of dancing, too.”

Hao couldn’t help but laugh, infinitely charmed by Hanbin. 

“I didn’t expect to dance with you again so soon,” Hao told him honestly. “But I’m really proud of you.”

Hanbin looked sheepish. “I would’ve never been brave enough to try without you.”

“No,” Hao shook his head. “It was all you. You’ve always been a dreamer. You would’ve always followed them.”

Hanbin pulled him a little closer. “And what do you dream of?”

Hao felt his pulse in his head, heart pounding against his chest. It’s been a while since anyone had asked him about his dreams. Hao had never known what his purpose on this earth was, in a way he was still looking - but one thing he was sure of. Hanbin had been part of his dreams for a while now. 

It filled him with great guilt, because it was a dream he knew was selfish to chase. Perhaps, sometimes giving up on a dream was the brave thing to do. The right thing to do. The only thing to do.

He took a deep breath. 

“This moment,” Hao replied bittersweetly. “For this moment to never end.”

Hanbin gave him a fond look. 

“I cannot stop time,” Hanbin told him. “But I will give you many more moments like this one.”

Hao’s heart clenched with affection. How could he not? Hanbin was…Hanbin was…he was…

Words left him.

 

Sooner than he wanted to, Lady Kim returned, ending their lesson. 

She thanked Hanbin once more, paid the musicians and was surprised to hear Taerae getting praised by a teacher for a change. 

“It seems like you are a well-versed teacher, despite your short experience,” Lady Kim said. “I guess I will spread word of your talents to the other scholars. We can always use more talented people.”

Hanbin beamed, bowing multiple times. He looked so happy, smiling brightly at Hao as if wanting to share all his joy with him. 

Hao returned it, but there was a sad filter laying over his own emotions now. 

Hanbin’s happiness…Hao wasn’t selfish enough to ruin that. Hanbin’s dreams…he had to protect them, even if that meant giving up on his own ones. 

 

His expression fell as Hanbin left the room. His smile felt fake as it slipped off his face. Everything felt so heavy now. Like the force of gravity had suddenly multiplied, pulling his limbs to the ground. He felt his own power fade, no longer able to withstand it.

Taerae stepped to his side, a teasing glint in his eyes. 

“You must be happy now,” he nudged him with his elbow. “Getting to dance with Hanbin again.”

Hao felt heat rise to his eyes, unspilled tears gathering in the corners and blurring his vision. His lips started trembling. Immediately Taerae noticed the shift in mood. 

“Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?” He asked him, gently leading him to his room where they could talk in private.

Hao wiped the tears out of his eyes before they could fall. He needed to be strong. 

“Has this anything to do with what you needed to talk to me about?” Taerae inquired cautiously, handing Hao a handkerchief. 

Hao sniffled once before swallowing the last of his tears. 

“Taerae,” he said, trying to steady his voice. “Lord Yoon killed my father.”

Taerae let out a gasp. “A-are you really sure?”

“I am,” Hao said. “And I think he might want to hurt one of us next.”

Notes:

thanks for reading!! :33

hehe, what do you think?? a little more of a plot focus today...i'm so curious to hear everyone's opinions on this!! :D
of course, a chapter is not complete without a little haobin fluff...im sorry, even that is a little angst this time :((
but i do always promise happy endings for all my fics!!

anyway, i was very happy to hear from all of you last chapter, you can't imagine how much i appreciate every comment :33
have a lovely Friday <33

Chapter 18: Hourglass Vines

Summary:

hourglass vines. symbolize the fleeting nature of time and the transience of life, reminding us of how fragile and precious time can be; associated with the idea of cherishing the present moment and making the most of our time

Notes:

Happy Hanbin day everyone!! Hope you can celebrate with this new chapter :3

Hao stood in front of his mirror, watching his reflection move. The color applied to his face had done a remarkable job at hiding the circles underneath his eyes. His pale complexion looked more rosy and youthful than in the past few days. He had not been sleeping well. 

After conspiring with both Matthew and Taerae he had decided that Lord Yoon was more than dangerous. So far nothing had happened, but whatever he was up too, it would certainly not be of any benefit to them. 

Caution. That’s what Hao had advised his friends. They couldn’t make themselves look guilty. Otherwise, Lord Yoon would only grow more suspicious. If Lord Yoon knew about the will, they at least had to keep The Rose Project secret from him. Working in the dark was what kept them safe. Safer. 

Hao knew it was dangerous to continue moving forward with their plan. But he also knew that they had come too far to let themselves be intimidated into submission. 

However, that wasn’t what Hao was losing his sleep over. At least, it wasn’t everything.

No, as so often, it was Sung Hanbin who occupied his every thought. Only this time, it wasn’t for pleasant reasons. It was unbearable guilt that Hao felt towards him, eating at him every night. Piece by piece he was getting consumed until there would be nothing left to blame.

Hanbin knew nothing of the conditions of the will. He didn’t know that he would become the heir to Hao’s father should he decide to mate Hao by the end of the year. He did not know that that might make him a target. 

Once Hao had come to the conclusion that as of right now, Hanbin made a very lucrative victim, he had begged his mother to tell Hanbin about the testament. His mother had strictly refused. She didn’t want word to get around. In her opinion, it would be best to wait as long as possible to reveal its content, to make sure Hanbin wouldn’t betray them for their fortune once he found out. 

Hao had none of the same worries. He knew he could trust Hanbin, but mostly he cared about his safety. After all, Lord Yoon had been pretty clear when demanding Hao to reconsider the courtship. If he didn’t…his wrath might get directed at Hanbin.

Breaking off the courtship was the last thing Hao wanted to do, but if it was the only way to protect Hanbin…there wasn’t really a choice for him. 

He sighed, turning away from the mirror. 

Tonight he was dressed in black. It wasn’t a color his mother had considered for him before, always picking vibrant colors for him to stand out and attract the attention of possible suitors. 

For this ball, she had switched things up. There was a tight belt snug around his waist, holding the wide-legged pants and his shirt together. There were two cut-outs at his waist, revealing a piece of his milky skin. Apart from the bracelet Hanbin had gifted him, he was wearing no other jewelry. 

It was a rather minimalist gown, but Hao liked it for its simplicity. Dressed in black, it would be easier for him to disappear into the night. It also made the red of his lips and cheeks stand out more. Hao would’ve never admitted it out loud, but it almost created an alluring picture.

His mother, as agreed upon and on Hao’s insistence, was to stay behind in the castle. Hao wasn’t taking this decision for granted . His mother always liked to be present for all courting events, liked to be in control - but then, in contrast to Hao, she had never liked the water. Tonight’s courting event would be held near the great lake of their kingdom. 

His mother’s own discomfort was large enough to beat her need for control. 

So, it was only him all dressed up as the two of them were waiting for Hanbin to come pick him up at his door. Hanbin alone would accompany him to the carriage taking them to the great lake. It would be a short journey, albeit long enough to opt for a carriage instead of walking there by foot. 

“Stop fiddling,” his mother scolded him, rolling the left sleeve of his shirt down again. 

Hao had developed the nervous habit of rolling it up, much to his mother’s dismay. 

“Let’s go over the night one last time,” his mother said after having fixed his gown. 

“Hanbin’s not going to leave my side. We’re going to pick up a dancecard at the entrance and dance. We’re going to leave at midnight,” Hao repeated what his mother had told him over and over again. 

Seemed like she wasn’t ready to relinquish all control yet. 

“Good. If anyone else approaches you for a dance-”

“I’ll decline politely,” Hao finished his mother’s sentence. 

His mother nodded, looking satisfied. 

Hao wondered if she would be very disappointed should Hao break off the courtship with Hanbin. She would probably be angry. After all, Hao had pleaded with her to consider Hanbin and she had trusted his decision. There was a lot at stake for her as well. To ruin all her effort…but for Hanbin, Hao would do it. 

Even if his mother wouldn’t understand. Even if she would be upset. 

It was a truly conflicted situation, because it not only involved himself. No, many people depended on his decisions. His mother and him would lose everything to their name if Hao wouldn’t find a suitable mate until next year. But Hanbin might lose everything by becoming said mate. 

It was an impossible dilemma.

The past few days, Hao’s heart had wavered every time Hanbin had come to see him. There were moments when he had wanted to tell him everything, but he knew that would only make it more dangerous for Hanbin. Knowledge was power, a power his father had been murdered for. 

It wasn’t fair to Hanbin to keep him in the dark. But then…Hao was also too weak to just let go of him that easily. 

After tonight. That’s what he told himself. He would make a decision. 

 

There was a soft knock on his door, making Hao flinch. He had been lost deep in his thoughts again. 

His mother opened the door, revealing Hanbin standing on the other side. 

Just like him, Hanbin was wearing a black ensemble of clothes. His hair was neatly swept out of his eyes and he was standing tall and proud. Hao’s heart fluttered at the sight of him. He was so handsome.

“Lady Zhang,” Hanbin bowed in greeting. “Is Hao ready?”

Hao joined his mother at the door, smiling shyly at Hanbin. 

Once Hanbin’s eyes fell on him, his expression shifted into something soft and affectionate. It always made Hao melt a little when Hanbin looked at him that specific way.

“Hao,” Hanbin breathed out, before bowing his head again. “As always, you look astoundingly lovely tonight.”

Hao smiled bashfully at his feet. Shyly, he met Hanbin’s gaze. “Thank you,” he muttered. “It seems like we are matching.”

Hanbin smiled as he realized they were indeed wearing the same color. 

“People will know we belong together then,” he commented cheekily, making Hao’s face flush. 

His mother cleared her throat, apparently not wanting to witness anymore of their flirtations. 

“Lord Sung, I expect you to bring my son back safely. Don’t leave him out of your sight,” his mother reminded him, voice firm. 

“I don’t plan on looking away for even a second,” Hanbin confirmed, winking playfully at Hao. 

His mother rolled her eyes, but her lips were twitching. “You two have to leave now. I heard the first carriages have already left.”

Hanbin nodded. He offered his arm to Hao. “Are you ready?”

Hao released a breath. For one last night, he would let himself be carefree and enjoy the company of Hanbin. One last night, he allowed himself to want and to dream.

He took Hanbin’s arm. “Let’s go.”

Hanbin beamed at him. He bid his mother a quick goodbye, before escorting him out of the castle. 

 

There were already dozens of carriages lined up outside the front gate of the castle. Hanbin confidently pulled him to one of them close to the end. As they neared it, Hao recognized the Sung sigil engraved on its wooden door. 

“I used to travel in this a lot for work,” Hanbin explained to him as he chivalrously held the door open for him. 

As ambassadors of the trade, the Sung family traveled a lot, checking on their trading routes and corresponding with foreign merchants. Even though that work was now in Hanbin’s past, he must’ve seen a lot more of their kingdom than Hao ever had.

Hao took a seat on the cushioned inside. It was surprisingly comfortable. A lot smaller than the carriage that brought him and his mother to the castle so many months ago, but it looked sturdy. 

Hanbin shortly conversed with the carter, before joining him inside and closing the door behind him. Soon after, the carriage started moving. 

Hanbin shuffled closer to his side until their thighs were pressed together. The contact sent a pleasant tingle all over Hao’s body. 

Hanbin took his hand. “Hao?”

“Mhh?” Hao turned his head to look at him. Hanbin’s eyes were incredibly soft. 

“I hope you can enjoy tonight. I know you’ve been worried lately,” Hanbin whispered, voice filled with tenderness. 

Immediately, Hao felt bad again. Of course, Hanbin wasn’t oblivious. He had noticed Hao’s shift in mood almost right away. He had offered multiple times to listen to whatever worried Hao’s mind - but Hao just couldn’t. He wasn’t ready to lose Hanbin yet.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, gnawing on his bottom lip. “I didn’t mean to concern you.”

Hanbin frowned. “Don’t apologize. I just wish you would talk to me, but I cannot force you. And it’s my choice to be concerned about you.”

Hao sighed. Would Hanbin still be this kind after Hao would…no, he didn’t even want to think of it. He had allowed himself one more night. He would try to make the most of it. A perfect night. A perfect end. 

“I will enjoy tonight, I promise,” he assured Hanbin and himself. “My mother’s never loved the water, but I always have. I’ve been wanting to see the great lakes.”

Hanbin eyed him warily, before letting it go. He smiled softly. “I can take you whenever you like.”

“You have work to do,” Hao reminded him. “Work you actually enjoy now, so you cannot slack off already.”

Hanbin grinned. “You have no idea what I would do for you.”

Hao’s breath hitched. Even though Hanbin’s eyes were glinting playfully, Hao knew by now that Hanbin meant every word he said. He was honest to the core, and his honesty included his feelings towards Hao. Some days, Hao still felt like it was too much and he didn’t deserve it.

Flustered, he turned his head away, watching the scenery fly past them. It was late already, the sun slowly setting outside, turning the wheat fields into fiery pitches of orange and red.

“Hao,” Hanbin spoke up to get his attention once more. 

“Yes?” Hao asked, glancing at Hanbin.

The alpha looked a little sheepish now. 

“I know I’ve promised your mother to look out for you tonight, and I will keep that promise. But there is something that could…help our cause,” Hanbin mumbled. 

Hao raised his eyebrows, not sure what Hanbin was hinting at. 

Hanbin bit down on his lip. 

“Would it be possible for me to scent you again?” Hanbin finally spoke out loud. 

Hao’s face warmed up. Apart from the heat incident and that one time after it, they hadn’t engaged much in scenting. Sometimes, when they were alone, Hanbin had pressed a kiss to his neck, leaving just a hint of his scent on him behind. 

Yet, whenever Hao thought of it, nothing but pleasure filled his mind. He had been too shy to ask for it again, and Hanbin, at times, could be too chivalrous to bring it up as well. But Hao craved it, yearned for it. Perhaps even more so now that he knew he couldn’t have it for much longer. 

Instead of replying, Hao only tilted his head to the side, baring his neck for Hanbin. 

Within a second, Hanbin had closed the distance fully, face pressed against Hao’s skin. 

“Is this really alright?” Hanbin asked him before committing to it. 

Hao gulped, body already set aflame by the proximity. “Yes, please.”

Hanbin didn’t need further invitation. Hao sighed in bliss as he felt his senses get clouded with the heavenly scent of pinewood. Getting scented by Hanbin always felt otherworldly, a sensation he could hardly put into words. 

Good, amazing, perfect. Those were words that came into his mind. Safe . That was the most prominent one. 

Hanbin only pulled away from him when the carriage stopped moving. 

They were both breathing heavily. 

“Uhm,” Hanbin coughed, sitting up straight. He looked a little disheveled. “I think we’ve arrived.”

Hao nodded slowly. He felt a bit  dazed, but after a few breaths, he connected back to reality. 

“Right,” he said, throat feeling very dry for some unknown reason. “We should probably get out then.”

“Yes,” Hanbin agreed. For a moment, he stared at the walls of the carriage very intently. Then he seemed to pull out of it. 

 

He moved to open the door to the carriage, offering Hao his arm once more to help him climb out. Hao let himself be assisted, carefully stepping onto the gravel road. 

Their carter took off, probably to park the carriage off to the side until they decided to return to the castle. 

Hao had never seen much of their kingdom, so even having traveled just a few miles made him excited. A lot of people were already walking around them, heading down the dirt path. In the distance, Hao could see the great lake glistening underneath the moonlight. 

It was breathtaking. 

Hanbin and him fell into step with the other people. Excited tension laid in the air as they moved forward. 

The great lake had been accordingly prepared to host a courting event. A large white canopy had been built where many servants were already bestowing the various guests with beverages. Around the entire lake golden lanterns had been strung between the trees, glowing warm and attracting small moths. Hourglass Vines were draped among them, their lovely pink hue shining golden underneath the light.

In a corner, the royal orchestra was already setting up, tuning their instruments. 

Hao watched it all in awe. It felt like he had stepped into a fairy tale. A sense of freedom spread in his chest. 

 

Hanbin led them to the canopy first, where they were greeted by a few servants. 

One of them asked if Hao needed a dancecard for the night, which he accepted with a grateful smile. Carefully he bound it to his wrist, only for Hanbin to pull it towards him not even a second later. 

“I’ve come prepared,” Hanbin told him with a cheeky smile as he pulled out a pen. “May I have all of your dances, Lord Zhang?”

Hao couldn’t help but giggle. “I’ve heard you are a stellar dancer, Lord Sung,” he played along. “But all of my dances? Isn't that too much to ask?”

“I will not disappoint you,” Hanbin promised charmingly. 

Hao laughed again. “You may then,” he agreed, watching with a fluttering heart how Hanbin put down his name for all the dances on his card. 

“Thank you,” Hanbin said, slipping the pen back in his pants. 

He said it so sincerely, Hao’s heart couldn’t help but grow even fonder. But it was tinged with sadness. How much longer would this moment last?

Trying to get rid of the bitter feeling, he took Hanbin’s arm once more. “So? Are you going to make me ask you to dance again?”

Hanbin smiled, so unbearably happy - it almost hurt. 

“Let’s go then,” Hanbin said, pulling him along outside. 

 

The grass was soft underneath his feet as he stepped out of the canopy. High above their heads the stars were twinkling. It seemed like the entire earth had decided to make this a perfect night. 

A few people had already gathered near the orchestra, waiting for the music to begin. Hanbin and him joined them. As always, Hanbin’s hold was incredibly gentle on him. 

“Don’t look at your feet,” Hanbin whispered softly, lifting his chin up with his fingers. “Didn’t I teach you better than this?”

Hao smiled bashfully. It was a nervous habit of his to stare at his feet rather than his dance partner. 

Before Hao could come up with a playful remark on his own, the music started. Reflexively, Hanbin began moving to the rhythm. Hao, startled and not prepared, stumbled right into him. 

Hanbin giggled and it sounded so lovely, Hao couldn’t help but join his laughter. 

“Here, let me,” Hanbin said softly, putting his hands back around Hao’s waist and carefully guiding him into the music. His skin tingled where Hanbin’s fingers grazed it. “Don’t overthink it. Just follow my lead.”

Hao swallowed, entrusting his entire being to Hanbin. 

Dancing with Hanbin always felt like floating. The ground underneath him didn’t feel like grass anymore - no, they were dancing on top of the clouds, where no one could reach them. 

Hao hadn’t even realized he had closed his eyes until a gentle breeze made him open them again. He met Hanbin’s gaze and his breath hitched. Hanbin’s beauty was overwhelming. 

Hanbin smiled at him, before guiding him into a playful twirl and pulling him even closer. 

“See? You’re an excellent dancer,” Hanbin told him, beaming with pride. 

Hao smiled coyly. “Well, I’ve had an excellent teacher.”

Hanbin’s lips curled in amusement. “Really? Tell me more about that teacher of yours.”

“Oh, Lord Baek is such a wise man, very precise with his steps,” Hao replied teasingly. 

Hanbin chuckled. “Oh, Lord Baek, I see.”

“Mhh, years of experience,” Hao hummed full of mischief.

Hanbin laughed, before spinning Hao around faster than he could comprehend. In the next moment, they were so close, Hao could feel Hanbin’s heartbeat against his own chest. 

Hanbin’s eyes were dark as they met his. “So you prefer Lord Baek as a teacher?”

Hao’s throat felt dry. A shiver rushed down his spine as the scent of pinewood engulfed him once more. 

“N-no,” he stuttered out, feeling heat rush to his face. All clever remarks were swept out of his head in an instant. “You’re my favorite.”

Hanbin smirked, obviously satisfied with that resolution.

The music changed rhythm, turning into something more cheerful and less intense. Hanbin smoothly adjusted their steps to the light-hearted tunes. He placed both hands on Hao’s waist and lifted him off the ground as the melody reached its climax. 

Hao yelped, suddenly no longer flying only in the metaphorical sense, grasping onto Hanbin’s shoulders. The alpha laughed as he put Hao back down, swinging them around with enthusiasm. 

“You haven’t learnt that step yet?” Hanbin teased him. 

“Warn me next time,” Hao pouted, albeit still handing off all control over their movements to Hanbin. 

“Okay,” Hanbin grinned. “This is your warning then.”

Hao had no time to mentally prepare before he was lifted off the ground again as the melody repeated itself. This time, however, it was less scary and more exhilarating. His feet tingled, no longer just feeling like floating. This was what birds must feel like when they spread their wings to fly.

“Stop it,” Hao giggled once he was on solid ground again. 

“This is how the dance goes!” Hanbin defended himself. “Trust your favorite dance teacher.”

Hao felt his face flush at his own words being used against him. 

 

They kept floating for what felt like an eternity. Hao could’ve kept going for another eternity, but Hanbin’s responsibility reminded them to take a break and hydrate. 

As they stepped away from the dancefloor, Hao took in his surroundings for the first time in what had to be hours. People were looking at them, whispering behind their hands. 

Hao had grown used to the attention, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed it. 

Hanbin shared his sentiment, swiftly pulling them into a more secluded corner where a few trees shielded them from the view of other people. He waved a servant over, who was carrying a tray of beverages. He picked up two for them, handing one to Hao, who only now noticed how thirsty he was. 

“Thank you,” Hao bowed to the servant and to Hanbin, guiding the cold glass to his lips. 

They remained in their hiding spot as they finished their water. It was fun, people-watching when you couldn’t be watched in return. 

Hao spotted Taerae looking very bored as he stood next to his mother. It seemed like his friend had not found a suitable dance partner this time around as well. 

Then, his gaze drifted further, towards where all the attention was apparently gathering. How could he not have noticed it sooner?

Prince Ricky was standing off-side to the dancefloor, right next to the Queen, who seemed to sway gently to the music. People were staring at him even more than they were at Hao. It must’ve been that way all his life, so he probably knew nothing else. Hao still felt pity for him.

A few meters away, he recognized Kim Gyuvin. The prince from the Northern Empire seemed entirely out of place, not knowing what to do with his long limbs. He kept stealing glances at Ricky, as if not knowing how to approach him best. 

Hao snorted behind his hand. 

It was kind of funny to watch the two lovers skirt around each other like this in public. If you were to trust the whispers, people were already guessing at the affection the foreign prince seemed to hold for their very own treasure. They were just rumors, but Hao couldn’t blame people for suspecting considering how poorly Gyuvin concealed his feelings. 

He guessed it was mostly because Gyuvin had no idea of their courting customs, so that he didn’t know how to express and hide his affection properly. 

A murmur went through the crowd as the foreign prince finally gathered the courage to approach Ricky. He bowed, then stared at the Queen and stumbled over his own feet. Evidently embarrassed, Gyuvin headed straight past them. 

This time, Hao laughed out loud. Hanbin also must’ve observed the scene, as he chuckled along with him. 

“I didn’t know the prince from the Northern Empire fancied Prince Ricky,” he commented, also clearly amused by Gyuvin’s misguided actions. “Did you?”

Hao smirked. “I had a hunch.”

“It would probably do him some good to study our courting rules, though,” Hanbin added. 

“Probably,” Hao confirmed, watching as Ricky tried to brush off the Queen’s curious looks. 

 

They had both finished their drinks now, deciding to bring them back to the canopy themselves. Just as they were about to get back to dancing, the orchestra stopped playing. 

A small circle of people gathered around the Queen. Curiously, Hanbin and Hao made their way over. 

“I’m pleased to see everyone enjoying themselves this evening,” the Queen announced. Her dress was entirely golden, making her glow warm underneath the soft light of the lanterns. “Since the year is already halfway over, I wanted to use this opportunity to think about what our wishes are for the remaining months.”

A pair of servants brought out two chests. When they opened them, an array of small boats was revealed. They had been folded from golden paper. 

“As our guest from the Northern Empire has let me know, there is a tradition to whisper your wish into a paperboat before you let it sail across the ocean,” the Queen explained, winking at Prince Gyuvin, who awkwardly shuffled on his feet. It seemed that even being a prince didn’t make you immune to the Queen's charm. “Since we have no ocean and to honor his visit to our lands, I decided to include the tradition for today’s event.”

Excited whispers picked up around them. Hao had read a little about the traditions of the Northern Empire before and had always found this one particularly beautiful. The Northern Empire bordered a wide ocean and they believed in water spirits. You sent them your wishes and prayed for them to be heard and fulfilled. 

Hao doubted any water spirits would find their wishes in their great lake, but it was a nice tradition nonetheless. 

After the Queen herself and Ricky had picked up their golden paperboat, everyone else stepped forward to retrieve one as well. 

“Do you want to join?” Hanbin asked him and Hao nodded. 

Together they made their way to the front, lucky enough to get two of the last few paperboats. They followed the trail of people down to the water. 

People spread out at the lake shore. The Queen released her boat first, watching as it moved ahead in the black of the lake water. 

Hanbin turned to him with a smile. “What do you wish for?”

Hao’s heart grew heavy again as he looked at Hanbin. Underneath the moonlight, he had first fallen for Hanbin. They were standing underneath the moonlight again at this moment and Hanbin had only grown more beautiful to him. 

He swallowed the sadness and decided to focus on the happiness. Just for tonight. 

“I wish,” he said, before pressing his lips against the boat to whisper his wish into its sails. “For this moment to never end.”

Hanbin watched him reverently as he let his boat touch the water. 

“You’ve wished for that once before,” Hanbin remembered.

Hao nodded. It was always his wish whenever he was with Hanbin. 

“What is your wish?” He returned the question. 

It was dark, but not dark enough that Hao missed how Hanbin’s cheeks turned to a pinkish hue. 

“I’m afraid if I tell you, it won’t come true,” Hanbin told him sheepishly.

Hao pouted, feeling tricked. “I’ve told you mine!”

Hanbin smiled fondly. “I will tell you. One day.”

Hao kept pouting as Hanbin whispered his wish so quietly into his boat, he had no chance of overhearing it. 

What could Hanbin have wished for? Happiness? Health? Something for his family? Or for his work to be successful? 

Would Hao have to cross his wish in the end? When he had to make the decision and keep away from him? No, Hanbin would be safer far away from him. Hanbin could be happy without him.

Hanbin stood up straight again after he had let go of his boat. He walked over to Hao, interlocking their hands. 

Even after all this time, it still made Hao’s skin tingle. He let out a sigh and leaned his head against Hanbin’s shoulder, trying to ignore how heavy his heart felt. 

They watched as the boats kept drifting further away. Next to the reflection of the moon and stars, the boats made the lake appear magical. Perhaps, there really were water spirits, living underneath the surface and turning their wishes into gold. 

Slowly, the crowd started to disperse again, but they remained still and silent. 

“Do you want to go back to dancing?” Hanbin asked, voice soft as if trying not to break the moment. 

Hao shook his head. He loved dancing with Hanbin, but he wanted to be alone with him for a bit longer. 

“Can we take a walk around the lake?”

Hanbin smiled and nodded. Their hands still linked, he started pulling Hao along the shore. 

 

It was quiet so far away from the ball. Faintly they could hear the orchestra play, the voices of people, but the chirping of the crickets in the bushes was much louder. The wind in the treetops rustled the leaves and an owl howled. It was pure nature like Hao had last witnessed it at the cottage.

It was later now. Colder. A harsh breeze made Hao shiver. 

“Are you cold?” Hanbin immediately noticed. 

“A little,” Hao admitted, knowing there was no use in lying when Hanbin was so perceptive. “It’s alright.”

“No, I have a coat in the carriage,” Hanbin said, pointing to the gravel path they had come from. “Should I go get it?”

Hao blushed. “You don’t have to.”

“You’re cold. It’s not far from here,” Hanbin insisted, but then hesitated. 

“What?” Hao asked him. 

Hanbin chewed on the inside of his cheek, looking conflicted. “I promised not to let you out of my sight.”

Hao was quiet, processing Hanbin’s apparent problem for a moment, before laughing. “I will be fine on my own for a few minutes. We’re far away from the crowd. Nobody will approach me while you’re gone.”

“But-”

“You don’t have to get the coat, either,” Hao added when he noticed Hanbin’s reluctance. “It’s not that cold.”

Hanbin frowned. 

“Or I could come with you to get the coat?” Hao suggested. 

Hanbin let out a sigh. “No, stay here, I’ll get the coat, it’s faster if I run. You are right. It’ll be fine. No one is around.”

Hao smiled, leaning in to press a swift kiss to Hanbin’s cheek. “Thank you.”

Hanbin’s gaze turned fond on him, before he finally let go of his hand and started jogging towards the carriages. 

Hao watched him with tenderness resting in his chest until his frame disappeared in the darkness. 

 

Then he turned back towards the lake. The boats were now so far gone that you could only make them out as little golden dots. 

He spotted a small wooden dock just a few meters to his right. It wasn’t too far, so Hanbin could easily find him once he returned with the coat. Deciding to explore on his own, Hao walked towards it.

After walking on grass for so long, it felt weird to step onto the sturdy wood. It made a hollow sound underneath his shoes.

“I thought he would never leave.”

Hao spun around, heart pounding in his ears. He knew that voice. He despised that voice. 

Yoon Seulchoo was standing at the end of the dock, ugly grin distorting his features. 

“Seulchoo,” Hao breathed out, his entire system on alert. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been trying to speak to you alone all night,” Seulchoo said. 

The wheels in Hao’s head turned. “Have you been following us?”

“Everybody’s allowed to take a walk around the lake,” Seulchoo shrugged, but Hao easily spotted the truth behind his words. 

Hao was starting to feel nauseous. He hadn’t seen Seulchoo all evening - but apparently he had been watching him. Was he here on his father’s orders? Did he want to see if Hao was still choosing Hanbin?

“Hanbin will be back any second,” Hao let him know, cautiously stepping further away as Seulchoo crept closer and closer. 

“Lots of things can be done in a second,” Seulchoo stated, now only a few steps away. 

Hao had reached the end of the dock. One step further and he would fall into the deep dark. 

He narrowed his eyes on Seulchoo, trying to hide his fear. 

“What do you want?” He asked him fiercely. 

“You know what I want,” Seulchoo replied amused. “You.”

His stomach churned in anger.

“I’m not something you can own,” Hao argued harshly.

Seulchoo grinned. “That’s debatable.”

Hao wanted to retch all over Seulchoo’s feet. He had never met such a despicable alpha before.

“My father agrees with me,” Seulchoo said, steadily edging forward. “You belong to me. You and everything you own.”

Hao fervently shook his head. “I will never belong to you.”

“You might want to think about it again,” Seulchoo scoffed. “Or else.”

Hao’s ears were ringing. “Or else what?” He asked bravely. 

“It might get ugly for some people,” Seulchoo replied with an air of casualty, as if he was not threatening him with the same breath.

Fear crept up Hao’s spine. Try as he might, faced with danger, it was hard to hide his fright.

“What are you going to do?” Hao shivered. “Do you want to hurt Hanbin?”

“Hanbin?” Seulchoo sneered. “Hanbin is not worth my attention. Besides, it’s much easier to ruin an omega than an alpha.”

An icicle was rammed through his heart. Seulchoo wouldn’t…

He stepped closer again. Hao could now feel Seulchoo’s breath against his cheeks. He must’ve smelled Hanbin’s scent on him, as he pulled away with a disgusted grimace. 

Hao’s body froze. 

Seulchoo’s eyes fixated in him, like he was nothing but prey.

“Do you want me to ruin you, Hao?” Seulchoo growled dangerously. 

Tears shot onto his eyes. It was like that night again, where Seulchoo had first forced himself upon him. Helplessness overcame him. Like a fish out of water, he couldn’t move. 

He needed to get away. He did not want to be touched by him again, but Seulchoo’s blocked his way back to the shore.

There was only one way. 

He took a deep breath. Then he turned around and jumped with all his might. 

Harsh coldness engulfed him as he was submerged into the freezing water of the lake. It prickled his skin like needles. 

His lungs were burning as he dived further away from the docks. 

The water remained calm around him, no sign of further disruptions. At least that meant Seulchoo hadn’t followed him. 

 

Once the need for air got too powerful, he resurfaced. He inhaled deeply, already beginning to tremble from the coldness. 

As he turned around to look at the docks, he found it empty. Seulchoo must’ve left after Hao had decided to escape him by jumping into a freezing lake. 

Luckily, Hao had learned how to swim when he had been a child. It was not a skill many of their people possessed, as their kingdom did not border any large bodies of water. But his father had insisted after Hao had nearly drowned himself in a bathtub when he had been four years old. 

His muscles were tensing up as he swam back towards the dock. 

Suddenly, he heard footsteps clatter against the wood. Had Seulchoo returned? Had he only waited for Hao to climb out of the water?

“Hao!”

Hanbin! 

Suddenly regaining his energy, Hao paddled his way back to the docks even faster. Hanbin knelt down at the end of the dock. A coat was mindlessly thrown onto the wood next to him. He was holding his hands out for Hao. His gaze was terrified. 

Hao’s own hands were shaking as he reached for Hanbin’s. With surprising strength, Hanbin heaved him out of the water. Hao fell to his knees, coughing and trembling. His teeth were chattering so much he feared he would break them. 

“Hao,” Hanbin breathed out, quickly putting the coat over Hao’s shoulders. “Are you alright? What happened?”

Hao wasn’t sure if it were tears or the lakewater that blurred his vision. He let himself drop forward into Hanbin’s arms, partly for comfort, but mostly for warmth. Hanbin was always so warm. 

“Can we go home?” Hao sniffled, burying his nose in Hanbin’s chest. “Please?”

“Of course,” Hanbin said, holding him dearly despite the water dripping on him. “Can you walk?”

Hao nodded. His knees were weak, but at least he was still feeling them. With Hanbin’s help, he got up to his feet. The strength in his legs wavered and Hanbin wrapped an arm around his waist. Hao leaned on his shoulder, letting Hanbin carry most of his weight as he focused on trying to fight the cold. 

 

Somehow, they made their way over to the carriages. The carter looked at them surprised, but upon Hanbin’s command, he got the horses ready for the trip back. 

Hao’s muscles were hurting from shaking so much as he climbed into the carriage.

Hanbin quickly got in behind him, and immediately Hao huddled back up to him. The cold was seeping through his clothes, his skin, down to his bones. Hanbin allowed him closer, gently putting his arms around him as he held Hao against his chest. 

When the carriage finally started moving, Hao felt nothing but relief. 

Seemed like he had to redo his wish. He really wanted this night to end. 

Notes:

Thanks for reading!!

Sorry we're not ending on a happier note for the chapter, but I promise you all a happy ending!! and the end of the haobin angst (most of it) soon :)

Love seeing you all with your theories in the comments hehe always happy to talk to you :D

Everybody stay safe and healthy :3

Chapter 19: Lilacs

Summary:

lilcas. representing the first blush of young love; symbolizing balance between the fleeting and the eternal, reminding us to savor the present moment and find courage in the face of adversity

Notes:

hellu and welcome back!! hehe, i hope i can ease your worst fears with this one :3
enjoy!! :3

Hao had never been this cold for this long. The trip back to the castle didn’t take them a full hour, but to him it felt like an eternity had passed. Hanbin was holding him during the entire ride, rubbing over his arms trying to emit heat in any way possible. The water had drenched Hao too deeply, seeping into his bones and freezing him from the inside. 

In addition, his thoughts weren’t really warm and cozy either. 

Seulchoo appeared in front of his eyes every time he tried to shut them. Seulchoo, threatening him. Seulchoo, wanting him like one might want an especially rare gem. 

Hao shivered. Disgusting. 

Yet…Hao knew that Seulchoo’s threat wasn’t empty. He might not have said it with words, but to Hao it was very obvious that he would try to ruin anyone who would stand in his way of owning Hao. Right now, the most prominent obstacle in that path was…Hanbin. 

Hao swallowed. They hadn’t talked since Hanbin had pulled him out of the lake. Hao couldn’t. For once, his teeth were chattering too much to form a comprehensible sentence. And then…he knew what he needed to say…would hurt. 

The carriage stopped in front of the castle gates. 

“We’re here,” Hanbin told him, slowly pulling away from Hao. 

Hao instinctively clutched onto him. Hanbin was his only source of warmth. He wasn’t ready to let go. 

“Hao, we need to get you inside. You need a warm bath and some dry clothes,” Hanbin said, voice all gentle and soft as if any more volume would break Hao. 

He hadn’t felt so fragile in a long time. 

Gathering that Hao was in no state to move on his own, Hanbin pulled him further into his arms. As if Hao weighed nothing, he lifted him up and somehow managed to maneuver them out of the carriage. 

 

Hao was too busy hiding his face in the crook of Hanbin’s neck to notice where they were going. He assumed Hanbin would carry him straight to Hao’s rooms. 

He was proven wrong when he noticed the orange shimmer of the windows instead of the familiar blue shade tinting the light falling into hallways.

Hanbin opened a door and walked in with a confidence that let Hao know that this had to be his private quarters. In any other circumstances, Hao would’ve blushed being brought here this late into the night. Now, however, his body didn’t have enough warm blood left to send some to his cheeks. 

Hanbin set him down on a soft sofa, purple cushions all around him. 

“I’ll draw you a bath and get some clothes ready,” Hanbin let him know, placing another blanket over Hao before leaving to what Hao assumed to be a bathroom. 

 

Hao cuddled deeper into the blankets, finally feeling some warmth seep back into him. Now that he was no longer outside, he slowly started to feel his body again. 

Curiously, he glanced around the room. Hanbin had mentioned that he had moved out of his parents’ quarters before, but Hao had never visited him in his private room. 

Unlike Hao’s room, which only consisted of a bed, a desk and a closet, Hanbin’s rooms were big enough to have a small kitchen built in as well. A large canopy bed stood near the orange-stained glass window. The blue-silver sheets matched the fuzzy carpet on the ground. There was even a small fireplace in a corner. 

They were nice rooms, nothing too lavish, but comfortable in their own right. They were very Hanbin. The entire room smelled of pinewood and the scent made Hao shiver in pleasure.

Hanbin returned from the bathroom, forearms bare and slightly damp from where he must’ve tested the water temperature for Hao. 

“Your bath is ready,” Hanbin said, holding out his hands to help Hao up. 

Hao pouted. He had just started to feel warm and comfortable. 

“Please, Hao, you need to change. You’ll get sick,” Hanbin pleaded with him, eyes all soft with concern. 

Hao sighed. He hated when Hanbin was this reasonable. He let himself get dragged out of the blankets and into the bathroom. 

 

Hanbin left him respectfully alone once he was in there, closing the door and telling him to call if he needed anything. 

It took him a moment to peel out of his wet clothes. His mother would probably kill him in the morning once she saw what had happened to them. He didn’t know what he should tell her. But that was something to worry about tomorrow.

He slid into Hanbin’s bathtub. A deep sigh left him as the heat engulfed him. The icky feeling of having been stuck in dirty, wet clothes for hours finally left him. Hao closed his eyes and felt his muscles relax. 

He tried to drown out his thoughts, but in the silence, it was nearly impossible. 

The night was over. It hadn’t ended the way he had wanted it to. But maybe it was better that way. 

Maybe a clean cut was the nicer option. 

He knew what he had to do. Tonight had shown him that he was no longer safe. Neither was anyone surrounding him. He couldn’t impose that risk onto Hanbin as well. He hoped Hanbin would forgive him.

He could’ve stayed in that bathtub for hours and hours. Not only because it was warm, but also because getting out would mean having to face Hanbin. 

There was no use in delaying it any longer. 

Hao got out of the bathtub. As promised, Hanbin had prepared a towel and a new set of clothes for him. They were simple, nothing like what Hao wore. The scent on them only further proved that these were Hanbin’s clothes. 

Since they were of similar height, they fit Hao quite well, despite being a little loose on his shoulders, making the sleeves slip over his hands. 

He allowed himself a moment to breathe in the lovely scent of pinewood. He wondered if a future with Hanbin would’ve smelled like this. If home would’ve felt like this. 

He hadn’t wanted to become emotional, but the thought made him choke up. 

He had to do this now, otherwise he would never be brave enough to do it at all. 

 

He stepped out of the bathroom. Hanbin was sitting on his bed, staring at the door. He rose to his feet once he saw Hao emerge. 

He had also changed clothes, wearing a set similar to what Hao was wearing. He looked so soft . Hao’s heart ached. 

“Are you feeling better?” Hanbin asked him, walking over to him. 

Hao nodded, quickly averting his eyes. He couldn’t look at Hanbin. It would only make things harder.

“Yes, thank you,” Hao mumbled. “You didn’t have to bring me here.”

“I wanted to,” Hanbin said firmly, reaching for Hao’s hands and squeezing them gently. 

Hao wanted to pull away, but it was too hard. 

“I…I should leave,” he said instead, hoping Hanbin would simply let him go. 

“Stay,” Hanbin whispered. “Stay. Please.”

Hao felt tears coming up. He closed his eyes. 

“I can’t,” he breathed out, voice already shaking. 

“Why not?” Hanbin asked, still so kind and understanding. 

Hao had never felt so guilty before. He hated himself for what he said next.

“I…I’m not good for you, Hanbin,” Hao muttered. “I can’t be with you any longer. You have to understand.”

The grip on Hao’s hand slackened for a moment, before it got even tighter. 

“H-hao,” Hanbin stuttered. “What are you saying?”

Hao took a deep breath in. Then he looked up at Hanbin. 

“We need to stop. This needs to end. You…you don’t deserve this. I’m sorry,” he spoke. “I’m sorry I wasted your time. But you’ll…you’ll find someone better. Someone who is good for you. Someone who deserves you.”

It took him all the strength he had, but he ripped his hands away from Hanbin. 

“Thank you for everything. But you need to stay away from me,” Hao said, hoping Hanbin would listen to him. 

This was the only way he would be safe. 

He exhaled shakily, moving to the door to leave. 

“Zhang Hao!”

Hao froze. Hanbin’s voice was no longer soft. He had never heard him speak like that before. At least not to Hao. 

Startled, he turned around. 

Hanbin was staring at him, looking downright mad. He scoffed. 

“I thought you were smarter than this.”

Hao blinked. He had expected Hanbin to be upset - but this…he had never seen him like this before. 

“I-”

“I’m in love with you!” Hanbin interrupted him. 

Hao’s heart stopped. Hanbin had spoken of his affections for him before, but neither of them had ever been so blunt. 

Hanbin let out a sad laugh, running frantic hands through his hair. 

“Zhang Hao, I’ve been in love with you probably my entire life,” Hanbin repeated, sounding even more desperate. 

“Hanbin, I-”

“I’ve lost you once before. And I waited, years , hoping to get to see you again. All these years, I kept thinking about you, where you were, if you were happy, if you ever thought about me,” Hanbin intercepted him once more. 

Hao learned and remained quiet. 

“And then, one day, you were back. You were back and everything suddenly fell into place. I’ve been in love with you this entire time,” Hanbin said. “So, no. I’m not gonna find someone better, because it’s only ever been you for me.”

Hao felt a single tear roll down his cheek. 

“And you don’t get to leave again. I’m not going to let you go this easily,” Hanbin stated, suddenly full of conviction. 

There was a whirlwind of feelings inside of him. Happiness and sadness and guilt and the thought that he should be reasonable.  

“Hanbin, you don’t understand-”

“Then explain it to me!” Hanbin begged him. 

He had crossed the distance between them again. He was standing only a step away now. Hao could sense his body heat. He was like a magnet. His pull was too strong and Hao was too weak. 

“Hanbin, it’s not safe,” Hao whispered weakly. “Being with me, it’s not safe for you.”

“You’ve seen me shoot an arrow and fight with a sword,” Hanbin argued - fierce where Hao was fragile. “I can take care of myself.”

Hao bit down on his lip. He didn’t know what to say. Hanbin and him had argued before, mostly over philosophical dilemmas - Hao knew when he had lost an argument. 

Maybe, he hadn’t given it his best fight in the first place. Not when winning truly meant losing. 

“Hao, please talk to me,” Hanbin asked once more. “What happened tonight? I only want to help you.”

Hao’s throat hurt as he swallowed. He gave in. He gave up. For that he wanted to be a man of reason, a man of the mind, in the end, his heart always won.

“S-seulchoo,” he said, barely bringing the name over his lips. 

Immediately Hanbin’s gaze darkened, his scent flaring up. 

“Did he do this to you?” He questioned.

The memory flashed through Hao’s mind and his body felt so frail again. 

“Can we sit down first?” He asked.

Immediately, Hanbin’s gaze turned from harsh anger to tender concern. 

“Of course. You must be exhausted,” Hanbin agreed right away. 

Instead of guiding Hao back to the sofa, he led him to his bed. 

Hao flushed. This was probably not proper. But the fact that it was Hanbin, who had in the past refused the exact same offer made by Hao, made Hao give in. 

It had been a long night and he was too tired to fight or care about any customs. He wanted to be warm and he wanted to be close to Hanbin. 

Gently, Hanbin wrapped them in his sheets, until they were safely cocooned in warmth. Their intertwined hands rested on top of the blanket as Hao rested his head on Hanbin’s shoulder. 

It was tempting to simply let sleep take over but he couldn’t yet. 

He had made up his mind. If Hao was too weak to leave Hanbin, he needed to at least warn him so that he could be cautious. It was an ambiguous line, telling him enough to be prepared, but not too much, so that he wouldn’t be in even more danger. 

Hao gulped. 

“Seulchoo,” he started again. “He followed us. He wanted to speak to me alone.”

A low growl rumbled through Hanbin’s chest. They were so close, Hao could feel it vibrate against his side. 

“Seulchoo and his father have been very interested in me this courting season,” Hao added, mouth dry.

Hanbin frowned. “Lord Yoon? Why is he interested in you?”

Hao carefully considered his next words. 

“Before my father died, he wrote a will,” Hao said. “Lord Yoon knew about that. He was the one who authorized it.”

Hanbin’s expression only became more and more confused. It was quite a leap in their conversation. 

“What has that got to do with Seulchoo?” Hanbin asked him, understandably puzzled. 

“My father wanted to bequeath his belongings to me and my mother, but we were not eligible for his inheritance,” Hao explained to him slowly. “So instead my father decided to pass on his belongings to the person who would become my mate.”

There it was, out in the open. Hanbin would not only become Hao’s mate but also the heir to his father should he decide to see the courting through. 

“I have to mate someone before I turn 25, otherwise the inheritance will be lost,” Hao said when Hanbin remained quiet. “That’s why my mother and I returned to the castle.”

“So Lord Yoon and Seulchoo…they want your father’s fortune,” Hanbin concluded. 

The conclusion was only a little flawed. For Seulchoo, it would make sense to only be after the money - he was young and impressionable, he could be tempted by a fortune as big as the Zhang fortune. Lord Yoon, however, was already rich and noble. For him, an entirely different reason to have Hao in their control was probably more imminent. 

But Hao knew better than to point as such out to Hanbin. He couldn’t tell him about The Rose Project. Hanbin was a noble, if he were suspected to associate with rebellion like this, he could be stripped of all his titles. He was already in enough danger. 

“They’ve been…they’ve been telling me to reconsider the courtship,” Hao said, voice trembling again. “They said…they said they would hurt someone if I didn’t. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Hao,” Hanbin breathed, leaning over to press a soft kiss to his hair. “It’s not your fault. And I promise you, nothing is going to happen to me.”

Hao knew that wasn’t something Hanbin could promise. He didn’t know what Lord Yoon was capable of. That he had been the one to push his father off that tower. That he was responsible for the death of a man. Who said he wouldn’t do it again?

“Tonight…did Seulchoo threaten you again?” Hanbin asked carefully. 

Hao nodded. “He said he would ruin me. And he was…he was getting so close. I didn’t…” There was a knot in his throat. “So I jumped.”

Hanbin growled. “I am going to punch him. Again.”

Hao almost laughed. It was so absurd. 

“Please don’t,” he said. “You’re already in danger just by continuing to court me. Don’t make yourself more of a target.”

Hanbin remained silent, jaw clenched. 

“Also,” Hao inhaled. “I would understand if this…changed your mind. You didn’t know about the will when you made your offer. I know it’s a lot and you didn’t ask for any of this. If you…if you don’t want to continue courting, I would understand. I actually think it would be best. Now that you know, you have to agree, right?”

Hanbin sighed. “Did you really not hear any of what I told you earlier?”

Hao turned his head to get a better look into Hanbin’s eyes. 

“I’m in love with you,” Hanbin said and this time Hao let the words sink in and make his heart flutter. “Nothing will change that. No testament, no threats, nothing.”

He shifted a little so they were properly facing each other. He reached for Hao’s other hand, pulling both of them into his lap. 

“And your inheritance is yours to keep. I don’t want it. Even if it will legally be mine, it’s yours and your mother’s to have,” Hanbin told him firmly. “I don’t want any piece of it. All I want is for us to be together.”

Hao felt another tear run down his face. This time not out of devastation, but because of utter relief. 

He couldn’t believe he had found Hanbin. 

Slowly he let go of Hanbin’s hand, reaching for his cheek instead. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. 

“You’ve waited so long for me,” Hao whispered as he retreated. 

“I would’ve waited even longer,” Hanbin said reverently, his fingers gripping onto Hao. 

“But I’ve been waiting too,” Hao told him, heart beating wildly inside of him. 

It was true. He hadn’t known he had waited for Hanbin specifically. He hadn’t known there was something missing. He only knew that he had been lonely, craving for a connection, craving for love. 

And now he had finally found it all in Hanbin. 

“You were?” Hanbin breathed, astounded. 

Hao nodded, smiling softly. “I’m in love with you, too.”

Hanbin exhaled shakily, body visibly reacting. It made Hao feel entirely giddy. 

“You are?” Hanbin asked him, full of awe. 

Hao’s smile widened. “I am.”

“Say it again, please,” Hanbin requested. 

Hao giggled, but complied. “I’m in love with you.”

This time Hanbin’s entire body shivered before he started smiling like he had won a grand tournament. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say that,” Hanbin told him, leaning in to press a swift kiss to Hao’s nose. 

Hao laughed. Hanbin was so endearing to him when he was happy. He wanted to see him happy every day. 

“Your entire life,” he said breathlessly. “You’ve waited your entire life.”

Hanbin’s gaze turned tender as he regarded Hao with a long look.

“Worth it,” Hanbin replied, before pulling Hao into another hug. 

Hao let his body drop into the embrace. 

There was still a pinch of unrest sitting in his stomach. He wasn’t sure if he would end up regretting this decision. If Hanbin should get hurt, it would be his fault alone. 

Here, in his arms, warm and loved, he couldn’t bring himself to feel any regret. 

He could only pray it would stay that way. 

Warmth filled his chest, glowing deeply from within him. Hao had never felt so comfortable and safe. The scent of pinewood and forest hovered faintly in the air, making it easy to imagine he was outside, laying in a field of lilacs. 

It must trigger one of their most ancient instincts, from when they had still lived and travelled in packs, roaming the woods to hunt. 

A pleased sigh fell from Hao’s lips as he cuddled even further into the sheets where the scent of nature was even stronger. He wanted to sink into it, drown in it and breathe it until the air in his lungs was full of it. 

He shuffled around on his quest to bury himself, only to bump into something hard. 

It tore him out of his sleep-befuddled, instinct-driven mind. Utterly confused, he blinked his eyes open, ready to pout at whatever hindered him from following his dreams - only to realize that he was in Hanbin’s bed. 

The scent was Hanbin’s. And the thing he had rolled into was Hanbin. 

Heat shot up his face. Memories of last night flashed through his head. 

They had talked and Hao had cried and he had been so, so tired. Hanbin had invited him into his bed, just to talk but it seemed like Hao must’ve fallen asleep at some point. 

Why hadn’t Hanbin woken him up? An omega and an alpha sharing a bed before mating! That was unheard of!

Clearly, nothing inappropriate had happened between them, but simply the thought of being caught in the alpha’s sheets flustered Hao greatly. 

He clutched the blanket tightly to his body, pulling it up to his face to hide. What was he supposed to do? Would Hanbin be mad if he were to wake up to find him still here? 

After all, Hanbin had never crossed that boundary before, refusing to even sit on Hao’s own bed to keep up propriety. This must’ve been an accident on Hanbin’s side.

Should he try to sneak out before Hanbin stirred awake?

However, just as Hao tried to crawl out of bed, Hanbin rolled around. One of his arms reached for Hao, slinging around his waist and pulling him flush against his chest. 

Hao’s face burned up. Was Hanbin still sleeping? Was this his unconsciousness acting? If so, Hao needed to get away, not wanting to do anything that a conscious Hanbin would not approve of!

The hold on him tightened as he started a second attempt to leave. 

“Shh,” Hanbin whispered, eyes still closed as he buried his nose in Hao’s hair. “Don’t go.”

Hao’s heart was pounding. Not only had they never been this close and intimate before, but Hanbin was now moving down to nuzzle his neck. The scent of pinewood got stronger. 

“H-hanbin,” Hao muttered, hands nervously patting Hanbin’s chest. 

Hanbin moved his head back, but his arms were still tightly wound around him. His eyes opened. 

“Hey,” he said, looking down at Hao. “When did you wake up?”

His voice was a little rougher, rawer this early in the day. It made a blissful shiver travel down Hao’s spine. 

“J-just now,” he answered. “I-”

“Did you sleep well?” Hanbin asked, letting his gaze roam over Hao’s face as if trying to memorize every tiny little detail. 

It flustered Hao greatly. 

“I did,” he confirmed. He looked down, biting on his lip. “I…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep here. You should’ve woken me up.”

“You were exhausted. I couldn’t have possibly woken you when you slept so peacefully,” Hanbin told him, sweet as always. He leaned down, mouth now next to his ear. “Besides, I was the one who invited you to bed.”

Hao’s entire body trembled, set aflame with only a word from Hanbin. 

“Aren’t we going to get into trouble?” Hao asked shyly. 

If people found out, it could ruin his reputation. 

“Nobody is going to know,” Hanbin assured him. “You needed the rest. And I wasn’t ready to let you go. This was the best way.”

The confidence in Hanbin’s voice calmed Hao. He didn’t want Hanbin to get into trouble for simply being too kind to him. He let himself sink further into Hanbin’s embrace. It felt like the safest place on earth. 

His heart was beating fondly in his chest. If he listened closely, he swore he could hear Hanbin’s heart beat in sync. Maybe that’s what happened when you were in love. Your hearts became one, beat as one. 

The thought filled Hao with happiness. 

There was lots to worry about in the future, but that was something he knew would always make him happy. This feeling, this moment, he needed to treasure it. He didn’t know how many more of these moments he had left. 

“Hanbin, about last night-”

“You don’t have to worry about it any longer. I’ll take care of it,” Hanbin told him. “I’m trained in self-defense. And I will tell Jiwoong to be on the look-out. He’ll keep an eye on you too, from now on.”

A heavy feeling settled into Hao’s gut. Just because of him, Hanbin now had so many things to be stressed about. Even Jiwoong would get involved. It was so much hassle just for him.

He knew Hanbin had chosen this, had chosen him over something, someone that would be easier to love. Yet, he couldn’t just swallow all the guilt at once. 

Truth is, he was afraid. Afraid for Hanbin. 

“You don’t need to go through so much trouble for me. I’ll be fine on my own,” Hao told him. 

Hanbin sighed. “Hao, your safety and well-being is what is most important to me.”

“But-”

“No but,” Hanbin said firmly. “I’m in love with you. I care for you. Please, let me.”

The confession made Hao melt into the pillows.

“I…I care for you, too,” Hao mumbled coyly. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. Not because of me.”

“Nothing is going to happen to me,” Hanbin reassured him. “There is only one thing that could hurt me.”

“One thing?” Hao questioned curiously. 

“Losing you,” Hanbin said, meeting his eyes deeply. “So you cannot leave me. Let me protect you instead.”

Hao’s breath got stuck. Hanbin was so good and everything that was good was Hanbin. 

It went both ways. Because Hao couldn’t stand the thought of being without Hanbin. Losing him was unbearable. He had tried, last night, to leave him for the better good. Now just the thought of that made him wither in pain. 

It was too late for him. He was utterly bound to Hanbin for Hanbin held his entire heart. There was nothing he could do.

“I’m just…I’m worried about you,” he breathed, fluttering his eyes closed so he could escape the intense look in Hanbin eyes. 

The alpha pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. 

“The only thing you need to be worried about right now is how to get out of my rooms without being seen,” he said, amusement swinging in his voice. 

Hao gasped, looking up at Hanbin. “You said nobody would know!”

Hanbin chuckled. “Don’t worry, I have a plan.”

He groaned, hesitating pointedly before removing himself from the embrace. 

“Unfortunately, if we stay indisposed any longer, I’m afraid people will start rumors. We’ve left earlier than the other guests,” Hanbin said, stretching his limbs. “So we better show our faces at court soon. Preferably, separately.”

Hao tried not to feel too disappointed by the loss of warmth that was Hanbin’s embrace. One of them needed to be the reasonable one and Hao was fine with leaving the job to Hanbin for once. 

He watched as Hanbin got out of bed, stretching even further. His sleepshirt rose, exposing a sliver of skin. Hao discreetly looked away, feeling his face burn up. There was a reason it was considered inappropriate for unmated couples to share a bed. 

 “I’ll bathe first and then send for Matthew to bring you some new clothes,” Hanbin let him know. “It would probably look a bit suspicious if you were to walk around in my clothes.”

“Right,” Hao nodded, relieved that Hanbin actually seemed to have a plan in mind. He also got out of bed, beginning to collect his belongings. 

He only noticed that Hanbin was staring at him because of the sudden silence. Confused, he turned to look at him. 

“What is it?” He asked him. Did they forget about something?

Hanbin’s face flushed pink and he sheepishly rubbed his neck. 

“Nothing. I was just…” he trailed off, eyes now wandering around the room. 

“You were just what?” Hao pried, raising his eyebrow. 

“Just…you look good. In my clothes,” Hanbin told him, honest to a fault. “You’re so beautiful.”

It was Hao’s turn to blush. Hanbin had told him countless times that he found him beautiful, but he was never prepared for it. 

Especially not right now, in the morning when he hadn’t washed his face yet, dressed in clothes not fitting to his body, hair not taken care of and eyes probably swollen from crying. 

He couldn’t possibly look beautiful to anyone. 

But he did to Hanbin. Somehow, he always did to Hanbin. Perhaps it was not only his outer appearance that Hanbin found beautiful. 

“You should take a bath,” Hao told him, feeling flustered. 

He tore his gaze away before he would do something reckless. Like pull Hanbin back into bed and kiss him until there was no doubt about where he had spent the night.

Hanbin lightly cleared his throat. Perhaps a similar fantasy had played out in his mind. 

“I’ll be right back,” he announced, grabbing a fresh set of clothes and disappearing into the bathroom. 

 

Hao let out a breath, falling backwards onto the bed. 

He stared at the ceiling for a moment. A giddy feeling overcame him. He kicked his legs trying to rid his body of the sudden exhilaration. Could you overdose on happiness?

If so, Hao would certainly make a good case study. 

He rolled around, burying his face into a pillow, trying to calm down. 

Hanbin was in love with him. 

Hanbin was in love with him.

Hanbin was in love with him .

He couldn’t believe it. 

All these years, questioning if he was loveable, only for Hanbin having been in love with him from afar all this time. 

It was…it was…it was! 

He wanted to scream but he held himself back. Hanbin might be in the next room, but he could still very much hear him. 

He needed to calm down. Now was not the time to lose his mind. 

He counted up to five in his head, inhaling, then counted back down to zero as he exhaled. After doing so for a few times, he felt like his heart was beating at a regular speed again. 

“Hao?”

Hao jumped out of the sheets. How much time had passed? 

Hanbin was still slightly damp from the bath, rubbing his hair dry. An amused smile played on his lips. Hao’s heart accelerated once more. 

“I’ll leave now. Matthew should find you here soon,” Hanbin let him know, throwing the towel aside. “You should probably also bathe before you leave here. Your scent…”

Hanbin blushed and looked away, but Hao could guess what he had wanted to say. His own scent must be completely overshadowed by Hanbin’s after spending a night in his arms and the scenting this morning. 

“That’s probably a good idea,” Hao agreed, chewing on his lips. “Thank you.”

Hanbin shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

“No, I mean it. Thank you. For everything. Last night. This morning. Everything else,” Hao said, feeling earnest. “You could’ve chosen a much easier path. But you didn’t. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about all this sooner.”

Hanbin sighed, closing the distance between them. He still smelled heavily of pinewood, but now it was mixed with the sweet aroma of bathing oils. 

“I understand,” Hanbin said. “I’m thankful you trusted me now. It must’ve been hard to carry around on your own.”

Hao let Hanbin circle his arms around his waist, pulling him close again. Hanbin’s face was a mere inches away from his own. Hao’s hands lifted, settling down on Hanbin’s shoulders. 

Hanbin leaned in, pressing the softest of kisses to his lips. It made Hao feel like levitating. 

When Hanbin pulled away, his expression was filled with tenderness. Hao’s heart hurt in the best possible way. 

“I’m in love with you,” he whispered breathlessly. They were the only words that came close to all the feelings inside of him right now. 

Hanbin beamed at him, as if he had never heard anything more beautiful. 

“I have to go now,” Hanbin told him, voice sounding strained. “Otherwise I might never leave.”

Hao giggled at the admission, albeit feeling very much the same way. It felt wrong to separate, even though they had spent the last 24 hours almost glued to each other’s side. 

“Okay,” he said, letting Hanbin pull away. 

“I-” Hanbin hesitated before leaving through the door. “I’ll see you tonight? For dinner?”

Hao laughed, before nodding eagerly. “I’d love that.”

Hanbin smiled, finally leaving with the promise of another meeting. 

 

Hao spun around, the overwhelming feeling of happiness returning. 

He sank down on the couch, deeming the bed too dangerous. 

A few minutes passed. Hao waited dutifully, trying to distract himself by going over a rather riveting moral dilemma he had read recently. But no matter how much he tried to wrap his head around a philosophical argument, his thoughts drifted back to Hanbin and his smile and his scent and his embrace. 

Hao had never believed to become such a lovesick fool one day, but there was no denying it. Hanbin had made him lose his sanity. 

 

The door opened without a knock. Hao only startled slightly, relaxing when he saw it was Matthew with some of his clothes. 

“Zhang Hao,” his friend greeted him with a devilish grin. 

Hao blushed a deep red. He knew Matthew wouldn’t judge him, but it was still embarrassing being found in an alpha’s chamber when he was not supposed to be there. 

“Thank you for coming by,” Hao told him, keeping his head lowered. “My clothes got ruined last night.”

“Goodness, what did you and Hanbin get up to?” Matthew wheezed, only making Hao’s face turn even hotter. 

“N-not like that!” He defended himself, but his voice sounded more like croaking. 

“Sure,” Matthew cackled, clearly not believing him. “That’s why you reek of him.”

“It’s really not like that,” Hao mumbled. 

Matthew whined. “Come on, Hanbin wouldn’t tell me anything when he asked me to bring you clothes! Please, give me some details.”

“He just…he just held me,” Hao admitted shyly. “Nothing more.”

It was still new to him to discuss such private matters with anyone. 

Matthew whistled through his teeth. “Wow, never would’ve pecked Hanbin to be the type to invite any omega to his bed.”

Hao sighed. He supposed he needed to tell Matthew about last night’s incident anyway. After all, Seulchoo had threatened anyone close to him, which very much included Matthew. 

“There was an incident,” Hao settled for the short version. “Yoon Seulchoo, he was at the dance. I had to escape from him by jumping into the lake. Hanbin…found me and comforted me.”

“What?!” Matthew asked, visibly startled. 

“I had to tell him about the will. To keep him safe. He needed to know,” Hao continued. 

“You told him about The Rose Project?” Matthew questioned, perplexed. 

Hao shook his head. “Only about the will. He needed to know why he might be a target for the Yoon family. He believes they are after the inheritance.”

“Oh,” Matthew nodded along. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry, I probably should’ve consulted you before telling him. The will and The Rose Project are not explicitly linked, but there still is a connection,” Hao apologized. 

“No, we can trust Hanbin. Besides, sooner or later, he would’ve found out about the will anyway,” Matthew assured him. “It might not be such a bad idea to include him in the Rose Project as well.”

“No, we can’t”, Hao disagreed right away. “He’s already in danger by associating with me. The more he knows, the more dangerous it will be. Imagine if someone found out Hanbin is part of a rebellion.”

“Prince Ricky knows,” Matthew shrugged. 

“ Prince Ricky is a prince . He enjoys privileges, protection that other nobles don’t. Hanbin’s position is much more vulnerable than that of a prince as beloved as Ricky,” Hao argued. 

Hanbin said he wanted to protect him, but Hao knew that it was Hanbin who needed to be protected more. 

“I see your point,” Matthew nodded. “But he’ll find out at some point. You can’t keep this secret forever.”

Hao bit down on his lip. It wasn’t like he was actively lying to Hanbin by keeping this from him. It was simply a matter of safety. 

“I won’t,” Hao said. “I will tell him everything once it’s safe.”

Matthew sighed, like he had more to say but didn’t. Hao was grateful for it. He knew when it came to Hanbin, he wasn’t the most reasonable person. But Hanbin was his first love. Perhaps, he was entitled to a little unreasonableness. 

“Also, Matthew, you need to be careful as well. Both you and Taerae,” Hao urged his friend. “Seulchoo said it was easy to ruin an omega. He might’ve meant me, but it is possible he was talking about you.”

Matthew snorted. “Please, Seulchoo doesn’t even know I exist. I’m a servant, in his eyes, I’m nothing more but a replaceable face.”

“Still,” Hao insisted. He had felt guilty since the beginning, dragging his friends into his personal issues, possibly endangering him. “You need to watch out for yourself. The Yoon family cannot be trusted.”

“I know,” Matthew rolled his eyes. “But I’m invisible, did you forget?”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t get hurt,” Hao reminded him. 

“Fine,” Matthew gave in. “I’ll be careful. I promise.”

“Good,” Hao said, relieved. A teasing glimmer sneaked into his eyes. “Maybe this would also be a good excuse to stick closer to Jiwoong in the future.”

Matthew gasped, cheeks turning a soft pink. 

“Do you want me to throw these clothes out of the window?” He threatened playfully, making Hao laugh. 

“Please don’t,” Hao giggled, happy to have turned the tables for once and flustered Matthew. 

“Then shut up,” Matthew said, pushing Hao towards the bathroom. “And clean up. You reek of Hanbin!”

Hao was still laughing to himself as he sunk into the water of the bath. 

 

With Matthew’s help, who made a great look-out, Hao successfully managed to leave the noble quarters without being seen. He had held his breath the entire way to the scholar’s courtyard, only feeling safe once he had reached the gardens. 

Just to make extra sure people wouldn’t start any rumors, he took the long route, making certain his face was seen by multiple scholars and servants on his way.

When he reached his own room, he allowed himself to breathe again.  

What a way to start the day. 

 

After so much adrenaline, Hao looked forward to a minute of peace and quiet all by himself. 

That was all he got. A single minute. 

The door to his room busted open.

He almost screamed at the sudden intrusion - but it was just his mother storming in. 

“Oh, good, you’re up already,” his mother forwent any greeting. “I assumed you and Hanbin stayed late last night, since nobody informed me of your return.”

So word of Hanbin’s and his early departure hadn’t spread. That was good. He didn’t need any more rumors following him. 

For the fraction of a second, he felt guilty for not telling his mother about the events of last night. But she would only ask questions. Besides, it wasn’t like she also wasn’t keeping secrets from him. 

Still, he needed to warn her. 

“Mother,” he let out a deep breath, sitting down on his bed. “We need to talk.”

His mother gave him a long look. “We do. That’s why I’m here. You need to tell me how the night went and you better not tell me it went badly.”

Hao sighed. He had suspected that his mother had sought him out for this reason. Since she hadn’t attended the ball herself, she must be itching to gather information. After all, she liked being in control of the situation and information was power.

“It went well,” Hao soothed her first. “But there is something you need to know.”

His mother smiled satisfied, before frowning. “What is there for me to know? Did Hanbin get into another fight?”

Hao shook his head, not wanting Hanbin to get on his mother’s bad side. He knew how much Hanbin valued the opinion of his mother. 

“No, it’s not about Hanbin. Maybe it is a little,” Hao said, searching for the right explanation. “The Yoon family. You mentioned them before.”

His mother’s eyes narrowed. “Did Yoon Seulchoo approach you again? Because I swear-”

“No,” Hao quickly interrupted here. It was a lie, but one that was needed for the greater g. 

He didn’t want neither Hanbin nor his mother picking up any fights with the Yoon family. The safest place for them to be was the one furthest away.

“I’ve just been having an odd feeling lately. I think you should stay away from them,” Hao said, giving his voice an urgent tone. He hoped his mother understood the warning. “Please, be careful.”

His mother looked understandably displeased. She didn’t like not having the full picture and it was more than obvious that Hao was keeping things from her. Even if she wasn’t his mother, Hao had never been good at lying. 

“Zhang Hao-”

“There is something else,” Hao intercepted what would certainly be a questioning he couldn’t escape from otherwise. 

His mother scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “What else is there?”

Hao swallowed. This, he needed to tell his mother. 

“I’ve told Hanbin about the will,” he said quietly. “He knows about the inheritance.”

His mother huffed, starting to open her mouth, and closing it again. Her jaw tensed. 

“I thought,” she said slowly, clearly angry that Hao had made this decision without her. “That we agreed to keep the will a secret until both of us were sure about him.”

“I am sure,” Hao retorted confidently. 

His mother sighed, frustration wrinkling her face. “Hao, I understand that you have feelings, but this is not something to take lightly. The more people know about this, the more people will try to get to you for the wrong reasons. That kind of money is corruptive. We cannot just trust anybody with it. We might end up with nothing but dirt to our name.”

“Hanbin doesn’t want any of the inheritance,” Hao denied right away. 

His mother hissed through her teeth. “Of course he told you that!” She ran her fingers through her hair, looking almost frantic. It seemed like Hao had truly destroyed one of her carefully crafted plans and she was falling apart. “Now we cannot test him anymore. His motives will be unclear. He’s in power now and he-”

“He’s in love with me.”

The words had left Hao’s lips before he had truly thought about them. Usually, he was very tentative with his words in arguments. However, his mother just assuming the worst of Hanbin irked him in the wrong way. He understood her fear, but Hao was not someone to make rash decisions. He was a thinker and his mother knew that. 

For some reason, those words stopped his mother’s monologue. 

Hao summoned the last of his courage. 

“And I’m in love with him too.”

His mother's previously enraged features softened. Her entire demeanour shifted from fearful and on edge to gentle and…sad?

“Oh,” she breathed, no longer pacing through the room. 

She crossed the distance, sitting down next to him. 

Suddenly embarrassed by his declaration, Hao turned his head away. Hadn’t his mother just said he shouldn’t be swayed by feelings? Now he had proven that when it came to Hanbin, his heart was ruling over his mind.

“Did he tell you that last night?” His mother asked him, voice incredibly tender. 

Hao nodded. “He did. Before I told him about the will.”

“Oh,” his mother said again. She reached for his hand, pulling it into her lap. “And you? Since when did you feel this way about him?”

Hao was a little surprised to see his mother so emotionally vulnerable with him. He didn’t dislike it. 

They had always gotten along, but neither of them had ever shared much of their innermost feelings with each other. Ever since the loss of his father, both of them had become sort of…cold and reclusive. Lonely. 

These past months had warmed Hao up again. He was no longer alone and he was no longer afraid of his feelings. 

“A while now,” Hao answered honestly. 

His mother squeezed his hand. When Hao glanced at her, she was smiling sadly. 

“That’s good,” she said, nodding. “He seems like a good man.”

That made Hao confused. Hadn’t his mother not just said that they couldn’t trust Hanbin?

“But you said-”

“I know. I’m sorry,” his mother said. 

She wasn’t a woman to apologize easily. It stunned Hao a little. 

“Sometimes I forget that this isn’t just about inheritance. That is important, of course. But you are my son,” his mother told him earnestly. “And he is your first love.”

Normally, Hao would’ve blushed and felt uncomfortable sharing these details with her. Strangely, he found himself wanting to share even more with her. 

“I’m his, too,” he said, smiling down at his lap. 

The hold on his hand got even tighter. “I’m glad you found each other then.”

“I promise, we can trust him. I’m not blinded by my feelings,” Hao told her determinedly. “Hanbin would never do anything to hurt me.”

His mother sighed. She let go of his hand. “It’s not like we have a choice now,” she told him. “But I do hope you are right. Losing the inheritance would hurt. But losing your heart, that’s a pain only few can recover from.”

The words resonated in the moment. 

His mother’s gaze looked far away. Hao was reminded that it wasn’t just him who had lost a father. His mother had lost a mate, a husband, a love. She had lost her heart. The pain must’ve been unbearable and this was the first time she decided to share it with Hao.

Hao felt for her like never before.

After what felt like an eternity, his mother got up to her feet. 

“I’ll have to think about some things,” she told him. “And I need to order some more fabric. I’ve had the most brilliant idea for your next gown come to me in a dream. I’ll expect you in my chambers for new measurements in a few days.”

Hao felt like he needed to say something to her, about how sorry he felt, how he shared her heartache, even after all these years. But then she gave him a tough smile, one that let him know that she was strong. She was one of the few ones who survived losing their heart.

“I’ll be there,” he promised her. 

She regarded him one more look that Hao wasn’t sure how to read. Then she left his room. 

Hao fell back on his bed. 

Today was really a whirlwind of emotions for him. 

 

Notes:

thanks for reading!!

i know there is not really a lot happening action wise because i always get so lost writing dialogue...but i still hope you liked the chapter!!
i always love writing the dramatic confession scenes, so i hope the emotions came across in this one well :)
let me know what you think!!

everybody stay safe and healthy :3

Chapter 20: White Oleander

Summary:

white oleander. associated with death and evil, used to poison enemies. bad luck.

Notes:

this is a long one...enjoy :3

Hao’s wrist hurt. He put his inked pen down and twisted it a few times, trying to get rid of the ache. When he picked his pen back up, the pain returned instantly, making him clench his teeth. 

He sighed, dropping the pen again. 

It seemed like he was done writing for today. 

For the past few hours, he had been copying the flying papers. By now he had almost finished 300 of them. That was his goal before he would even try to do anything with them. 

A few more days and he could call another Rose Project meeting to discuss how to proceed. 

Matthew and Taerae had been keeping him company in his father’s study whenever they found the time these days. Either they helped him with the flying papers or went through the records of people that had worked for the castle in the past that Hao had borrowed from the library. 

Unfortunately, it was a very long list of people, filling multiple shelves in a special section of the library, and they could only look through one book at a time. 

Park Gunhee

Kim Sejun

Jang Solhee

Min Rei

Kim Taejoon?

Hao had memorized that list by heart. They had crossed off Kim Taejoon right away. They had already spoken with Taerae’s father and he had not known anything about The Rose Project. Beyond the rumors, he also had heard nothing about his father’s death being anything else than a coincidence. 

Besides him, they had only found one name on the list in the records so far. Min Rei had been a foreign scholar in the castle at the same time his father had been. She was from the Northern Empire, residing in the caste for a few years. Most of her works had been related to medicine. 

Shortly after his father’s death, she had relocated from the castle and moved back to her homeland. 

Taerae was currently looking into finding her address so they could possibly hold correspondence. But finding someone who wasn’t even living in their kingdom anymore was hard. Still, Hao didn’t give up hope. She was a lead. If they could get just one letter out to her, it could mean getting proof that his father’s death had not been an accident. 

They all agreed that her moving right after his father’s death was no coincidence. She must’ve known about The Rose Project. Just like all those other people on his father’s short list. Perhaps, Lord Yoon had threatened her to leave or she would’ve found the same fate as his father had. 

Hao was convinced. Maybe he was also getting desperate. Min Rei must know something. There was only a slight chance of finding her and an even slighter chance that she’d even reveal anything to them - but a chance was a chance. 

Hao sighed, leaning back in his chair. He stretched his arms, his entire body feeling sore from being hunched over a desk for hours. He was working alone today, both Matthew and Taerae occupied with other duties.

It was still only early afternoon. Usually he wrote until the sun set or he was supposed to meet Hanbin for tea. His wrist was throbbing, however. 

He gathered the flying papers he had completed today and carefully stored them underneath the loose tile in the floor together with the original Rose Project. 

If he couldn’t write anymore today, he might as well go through some more records. Min Rei might’ve left the country, but there were still three other names on the list they could find. 

He got up, ready to head to the library to retain some more records to look through. 

He listened at the door to check if there were any voices to be heard in the hallways. When everything was quiet, he let himself out. Quickly, he locked the door behind him. With brisk steps he walked down the corridor. 

 

A few scholars and servants encountered him on the way to the library. Hao politely bowed to them. By now the librarian was very familiar with his presence. She didn’t even look up from her desk when Hao pushed the door to the great library open. 

Hao wasted no time, heading towards the corner of the library that usually wasn’t frequented by anyone. The record section laid in the far back, books upon books collecting dust on the shelves. 

Hao spotted the little pink paper they used to keep track of what books they had already checked out. It marked a shelf not even halfway through the long rows of records. But this was no reason to be discouraged!

Hao motivated himself as he picked up the next three record books. He clutched them tightly to his chest as he made his way back to the entrance. People didn’t need to know what he was borrowing. Just to be a little less suspicious, Hao also reached for a scientific paper on healing herbs on his way out. 

This time the librarian did look up as he slipped past her. Hao gave her his best inconspicuous smile and she simply waved him off with a nod. 

Both hands full, Hao pushed the library door open with his back, so he didn’t notice someone had been waiting just outside. 

“Ouch!” Someone whined as they were hit by the door. 

Hao gasped in surprise, guilt overcoming him. He got ready to bow deeply to whomever he had hurt, but froze when he recognized the boy. 

“Gunwook!” He exclaimed happily, before resuming his bow. “I’m so sorry, did I hurt you badly?”

Gunwook also began smiling widely when he saw just whom he had run into. 

“No, not at all! Just stubbed my toe a little,” Gunwook assured him. “Actually, I was looking for you! Someone told me I would most likely find you in the library if you weren’t in your chambers.”

It was more than lucky that Gunwook had run into him here. While Hao spent a lot of time in the library, lately he was mostly coped up in his father’s study. 

“Well, you found me then,” Hao smiled at Gunwook. “Can I help you with something?”

Gunwook gave him a coy look. “I just wanted to return your father’s scripture to you.”

He held out his father’s most influential work, ‘A distrubution of health and wealth’, out to him.

“You’ve finished it?” Hao asked excitedly. 

It had been a while since he had borrowed the work to Gunwook, but apparently he had spent his time well reading it. 

“I’ve actually read it twice. That’s why it took me so long,” Gunwook admitted sheepishly. “It was the most interesting thing I’ve ever read. Thank you so much for lending it to me.”

Hao heart bloomed. He understood why Hanbin found passion in teaching. There was something so fulfilling in sharing knowledge with someone and seeing how it shaped their mind. 

“You’re very welcome,” he said. “So, do you have some time now to discuss what you thought about it?”

Gunwook looked perplexed. 

“If not, that’s alright. You probably only came here for a flower delivery, right?” Hao quickly added, not wanting Gunwook to be forced into something. He didn’t want him to get into trouble at his work. 

“No…I…I don’t have any other deliveries for the rest of the day,” Gunwook shook his head. “I just…I wasn’t sure you really meant it last time. And you look busy.”

Hao understood Gunwook’s reluctance now. He gave him a fond smile. 

“I promised to hear out your opinion,” Hao assured him. He had meant it. Philosophy was there to be discussed. Otherwise, it was entirely useless. “I’d love to hear what you think.”

“But what about your own work?” Gunwook asked sceptically, gesturing to the stack of books currently occupying Hao’s arms. 

“That’s just some light reading I’m doing,” Hao appeased him. “Nothing that can’t wait for tomorrow.”

“Oh…okay, then,” Gunwook finally agreed. “If you are sure.”

“I am sure,” Hao confirmed once more. “Follow me. I know a private place.”

 

Usually, he would be more than cautious bringing someone down to his father’s study. But with Gunwook, he had no concerns whatsoever. Maybe it was because Gunwook was so bright, Hao couldn’t imagine him having a single bad bone in his body. 

Luckily, he had hidden any traces of The Rose Project before he had left. The office looked like any other room. And Gunwook, who was a practical stranger to the castle anyway, probably wouldn’t notice anything being off in the first place. 

He dropped the records on the desk and invited Gunwook to sit down on the other side as he poured them both a cup of water. 

Gunwook carefully placed his copy of ‘A distribution of health and wealth’ on his lap, nervously fiddling with the corners of it. 

Hao couldn’t fight a smile. It was obvious that Gunwook had never debated or discussed anything. But Hao was more than happy to teach him. 

“So, is there anything that comes to mind that you wanted to talk to someone about?” Hao asked him, not wanting to influence Gunwook by giving his own opinion first. “You can be completely honest.”

Gunwook nodded, seemingly gathering his thoughts. 

“Mostly, I was just astounded. Everything is just so logical. It made me wonder why it needed scholar Zhang to point all this out for things to change,” Gunwook said. “Shouldn’t it be logical to everyone that healthcare needs to be provided to everyone? After all, illness can befall anyone. Why was the system broken in the first place?”

“You are right. It seems so normal these days that there is always a healer nearby everywhere. We can hardly imagine what it must’ve been like back then. Don’t you think so?” Hao encouraged Gunwook to express his point of view.

“Yes. People living in the villages must have been so scared,” Gunwook hummed.

Hao was more than happy to hear him say that. While reason and knowledge were great things to have, empathy and compassion, in his eyes, were even more important. Compassion bred true wisdom. 

It was what made the difference between a great thinker and a reformer. 

Hao’s father had been both.

“Your heart is big,” Hao commented fondly. “And your mind is bright.”

Gunwook blushed, flustered by the compliment. “My mother always says I got my brain from my father, but my heart, I got from her.”

“Your mother sounds like a lovely woman,” Hao smiled, curious to learn more about the boy. They had never had the opportunity to exchange any personal information before. He didn’t even know Gunwook’s last name. All Hao knew about him was that he delivered flowers for his parents. “Did your parents raise you on your flower farm together?”

Gunwook shook his head. “My parents weren’t always working with flowers. My mother used to work here at the castle. My father did the flower deliveries back then for his own parents. They met during one of his assignments.”

“Oh,” Hao breathed out. “Did your mother leave the castle to live with your father then?”

“Not right away. My father worked as a gardener here for some time. He attended the Queen’s rose garden. He still talks about it, he was very proud of it,” Gunwook replied, wallowing in memories. 

“It is very beautiful,” Hao agreed. Now that it was summer, the roses were in full bloom, bringing beauty to the world. “So did you grow up at the castle then?”

“I barely remember it. We left before I could turn nine,” Gunwook told him. “But I do remember that we all shared a room in the servant quarters. A lot has changed since then.”

For some reason, Hao hadn’t expected that information. Gunwook always looked so lost when he roamed the castle halls, it was hard to imagine they were once home to him. 

But then again, he had been a young boy, even younger than Hao when he had to leave the castle. The story didn’t make complete sense yet, but Hao was eager to get to the full picture.

“Why did your family leave?” Hao asked him, curiosity rising. 

Gunwook shrugged. “It was so long ago. I don’t really remember. It happened very fast. I guess there was more room, better opportunities at the flower farms. My grandparents needed someone to take over.”

Somehow that story didn’t sit right with Hao. Something about it…was odd. Perhaps it was because Gunwook had always reminded him of a little himself, that he now saw similarity in their stories as well. 

Just like Guwook, Hao also barely remembered the night he had left the castle. His mother simply had grabbed him, told him his father had died and that they needed to leave right away. He had been twelve then, not able to explain the world anymore. Everything had shifted all at once. 

Had Gunwook felt the same way?

“It must’ve been hard for you, moving when you were so young,” Hao told him warmly, relating to the boy. 

“Like I said, I barely remember anything. When I think about how I felt back then…I mostly feel relief and not sadness. I don’t know what I had been afraid of back then, but I didn’t mind leaving so much,” Gunwook hummed in thought, as if everything was still a little blurry to him. “Besides, I like it at the farm. There are flowers everywhere and the people are nice.”

Hao knew what it was like living in a village. The peace and quiet. The loneliness. He could only hope Gunwook wasn’t similar to him in that aspect. 

“How long has it been since you moved there?” Hao asked him. 

“Must be over ten years now. I turned 20 in spring,” Gunwook answered. 

Hao couldn’t help it. His thoughts were tumbling in his head. He was a thinker. Some might even call him an overthinker. But thinking is what made him find things. Thinking was what made him catch on to little details that other people would dismiss for coincidences.

Hao didn’t believe in coincidences anymore. 

“Over ten years ago,” Hao repeated, almost soundlessly. 

So Gunwook must’ve left the castle roughly around the same time Hao and his mother had. Just after his father’s death. 

Maybe Hao wasn’t just seeing the similarities. Maybe there actually were similarities. Maybe Gunwook’s and his fates were indeed connected. 

Gunwook had been afraid back then. Perhaps even happy to leave. He had just been a young boy, but children picked up on the atmosphere around them. Had the young Gunwook noticed that something bad had happened? Had they been in danger?

Why would they have been? Well, there was only one possible explanation Hao could come up with. He eyed Gunwook. Had he found another missing piece to the puzzle? He needed to confirm his suspicions right away.

“Gunwook, what is your full name?” Hao asked, perhaps a bit out of context. 

Gunwook looked taken aback for a moment. “My full name?”

“Your surname,” Hao clarified, trying not to sound too impatient. “What is your surname?”

“Park,” Gunwook answered him slowly. “Park Gunwook. That’s my name. Why?”

Hao’s heart started pounding. Could it be? All this time, right in front of him, had been a connection he had missed. 

“What is your mother’s name?” Hao continued his questioning. If he was right, then this could be a breakthrough for them. 

“Why?” Gunwook asked once more. 

A part of Hao was delighted that Gunwook was questioning him, but the other part of him was impatient. 

“Please, Gunwook, I can’t explain now, but it might be important,” Hao pleaded with him.

He hoped the few conversations they had shared so far had instilled Gunwook’s trust in him. 

Gunwook hesitated another moment, deep furrows on his forehead.

“Her name is Gunhee,” Gunwook finally complied with his wishes. “Park Gunhee.”

Hao’s heart dropped. 

There it was. The first name on that list. A servant, living at the castle with her family. Fleeing just after his father’s death. Everything fit. 

Park Gunhee. 

I finally found you.

Hao lit up several candles. His father’s study looked almost mysterious, illuminated by the flickering shine of the flames. He blew out the match, waiting a few seconds for it to cool down before tossing it away. 

Hao preferred to meet people in the mornings, because he felt like his brain was at its highest capacity then. However, if there were so many people involved, you needed to make sacrifices and compromise. 

That’s why it was already way past sunset now and he was still only awaiting all members of The Rose Project.

Taerae was the first one to arrive, having snuck out underneath his mother’s nose after bedtime. He helped Hao set up the teacups as they waited. Next was Matthew, who had been out late, running errands for the Sungs all day. 

His face brightened up as soon as he spotted the plates of pastries Hao had secured this afternoon from the kitchens. 

“You are a lifesaver,” Matthew said, already chewing on a jam filled pastry. “I was starving.”

Hao chuckled as he watched his friend. “Eat all you want.”

“Seriously, some new treaty got stuck in the mail so I had to search for it all over the place,” Matthew kept whining. “My feet are dying.”

“Well, luckily we won’t need your feet for this,” Taerae joked. “But I do hope your brain is still working.”

“My brain is very healthy, thanks,” Matthew huffed, stuffing the second half of the pastry in his mouth. 

Taerae was about to reply when a knock disturbed their bickering. Both Matthew and Taerae froze in silence and looked at Hao alarmed. 

Hao smiled at them reassuringly. “It’s alright. I’ve invited them.”

He went ahead to open the door. 

As always, Prince Ricky and Prince Gyuvin came stuck together. 

“Thanks for coming,” Hao greeted them, swiftly closing the door once they were safely inside. “I know it’s late.”

“Please, I’ve asked to be part of this. I wouldn’t miss it,” Ricky told him, shrugging off his large, golden-embroidered coat. 

Behind Hao, Taerae and Matthew jumped up to their feet. They were frozen in place. There was still a drop of jam smeared across Matthew’s lips. 

Right, Hao remembered. This was the first time they met the prince. 

“Your royal highness!” Taerae got his voice back first, bowing deeply. 

“It’s an honor!” Matthew followed right away, nose almost touching the ground. 

Ricky gave Hao an amused look. “Didn’t you tell them about me?”

Hao smiled sheepishly. “I might’ve forgotten to mention that I sent out a message for you to join us tonight.”

Ricky sighed, before addressing Taerae and Matthew who were still facing the ground. “Please, stand up straight. I’m not keen on all the formalities, so just call me Ricky. I’d rather we treat each other like friends.”

Taerae and Matthew straightened up, but still looked starstruck. 

“Ricky’s right. We’re all equal here,” Hao confirmed, not wanting anyone to feel confined by societal roles in this room.

There were no hierarchies in the Rose Project. That was the whole point. 

Taerae smiled, always quick to adapt. “If you insist, Ricky.”

“I do,” Ricky repeated, returning his smile. 

“I guess planning a revolution together is the best way to make friends anyway,” Matthew shrugged. 

“Just my thoughts,” Ricky agreed, a teasing glint in his gaze. 

All eyes now turned to the second prince in the room. Kim Gyuvin was shuffling awkwardly on his feet. 

“Erm…yeah, me, too. I mean, I guess I’m not your prince in the first place. So I’m just Gyuvin. And I’m also here.”

Hao nearly laughed out loud. In comparison to Ricky, Gyuvin didn’t seem like a prince at all. Ricky always had that grace, that elegance, that aura of untouchableness to him. Heads turned wherever he went. Gyuvin was the exact opposite. His height didn’t make him look unreachable, it made him look lanky and awkward. 

But there was a kindness to his eyes, a softness to his facial features that made you trust him instantly.

Kim Gyuvin was the only alpha in the room, the first alpha to join the Rose Project. He might not fit the princely image, but somehow Hao couldn’t help but think he fit perfectly to this group. 

After all, just like Ricky, he was a troublemaker. Someone who followed his heart, even if social conventions dictated him to follow his duty instead. 

“Is it true then?” Matthew disrupted the silence. “You really followed Ricky all the way here?”

It was just like Matthew to gossip with a prince. Even if said prince was the topic of said gossip. Sometimes Hao wasn’t sure if Matthew’s bravery was a bit unwise. Jiwoong had warned him about that once. Matthew didn’t know when not to speak up. 

A trait Hao mostly admired, but one he had to admit could be dangerous. 

Luckily, Gyuvin didn’t seem upset by the direct question. He nervously scratched his neck, glancing at Ricky with pink cheeks. “Yes.”

Matthew clapped his hands excitedly. “So you’re going to court him?”

“We’re gonna wait with the official courting offer until next season,” Ricky chimed in. “We’re going to take it slow.”

“How slow? Because there is a bet among servants and I still need to place mine,” Matthew asked with a wicked grin.

For a moment Hao worried he had gone too far.

However, Ricky had really meant it when he said he didn’t like formalities. Any other prince would’ve probably been appalled to be questioned like this by a servant. Hao hadn’t spoken to Ricky that often either, he didn’t totally know what to expect from him. 

The prince only smirked. “I’d say around my birthday would be a good bet.”

Matthew giggled, giving Ricky a grateful thumbs-up. 

Taerae cleared his throat. “As much as I love to gossip with you,” he said. “Aren’t we here to discuss different matters?”

The attention in the room shifted from Ricky back to Hao. It was weird that in a room with two princes present, people would still look at him. 

But Hao had said it himself earlier. They were all equal. Status didn’t count inside this room. 

“Yes, I wanted to speak to all of you,” Hao confirmed, pointing towards the chairs and windowsill. “Please, sit down.”

Everybody took a seat, Hao passing the teacups along and filling them with fresh tea. After everyone had settled in their spot, he reached for The Rose Project, which had been lying on the desk. 

“So, there are two things I wanted to talk about. First, about my father’s case and finding proof for his murder. Second, about publishing the Rose Project,” Hao started off the meeting. 

“Let’s start with your father’s case first,” Taerae decided. “I’ve made some progress.”

Upon noticing Ricky’s and Gyuvin's confused looks, Hao reckoned that an explanation was needed first, despite his burning curiosity for Taerae’s news. 

“As I told you before, we suspect my father’s death is related to the Rose Project. We suspect the Yoon family has something to do with it, they’ve been acting suspicious around me,” Hao caught them up to speed.

It was bold, accusing a nobleman without proof in front of the prince, but Hao hoped Ricky would hear him out.

“Lord Yoon?” Ricky questioned, face distorted with disgust. “I’ve never liked him. He’s obsessed with legacy and maintaining the old standard. But he enjoys a high reputation at court for his long standing loyalty to the royal family.”

By now, Hao shouldn’t have been afraid to reveal this theory to Ricky. After all, the prince had proven more than once that he didn’t care for royal customs and bloodlines. Still, he was relieved that Ricky didn’t mind him accusing another nobleman of murder. 

“We found a list of names inside The Rose Project, who we suspect know something about my father’s death. We’ve been trying to find them,” Hao explained further. 

“Right, I remember all the lists,” Ricky nodded, reaching for the scripture that Hao easily handed over. He flicked through the pages of names with a frown.

“I found Min Rei’s name in one of the castle records. She used to be a scholar here,” Matthew continued, then he turned to Taerae. “Did you manage to find her address?”

Gyuvin visibly jerked at the mention of the name. “Min Rei?”

Everybody turned to him. 

“Do you know her?” Hao asked him, surprised by his reaction. Maybe he shouldn’t be.

After all, Min Rei had come from the Northern Empire, where they assumed she had returned to. Gyuvin’s home. 

“She’s a famous healer. She treated my sister once,” Gyuvin told them. “She works at the castle.”

Taerae sighed, deadpanning at Hao. “You couldn’t have invited him sooner? I’ve spent hours trying to find out where she lives these days.”

Hao gave him an apologetic look. In hindsight, he should’ve at least considered asking Gyuvin about her. But it wasn’t like he was frequently in touch with him. Even just getting a message to them tonight had been tough, especially since he wanted to be discreet about inviting two princes to a rebellion. 

“He’s right. Min Rei works at the castle in the Northern Empire. She gave up on most of her research,” Taerae confirmed Gyuvin’s words. “That’s why we couldn’t find any recent publications of her either.”

“Thank you for all your effort,” Hao told his friend. “You did great.”

“Now we only need to find a way to contact her,” Matthew thought out loud. “I doubt if we send a letter to the castle, it’ll reach her easily. She doesn’t know any of us. She might not even open it.”

That was a valid concern. “She might know my name. It’s my father’s name,” Hao suggested. 

That had been his plan. Hoping Min Rei remembered his father and that he had a son and that her curiosity would outweigh any lingering concern she might have.

“She might dismiss the letter even more likely if the Zhang name is attached to it,” Taerae pointed out what Hao had already feared. “If she fled from here, she might not want anything to do with it.”

Another valid argument. They could send it anonymously, hoping Min Rei would be curious enough to read it anyway. 

“We can send it in my name,” Gyuvin suggested simply. “She’ll open that one for certain.”

“That’s…” Hao’s mouth felt dry, overwhelmed by the sudden offer. A letter from a prince couldn’t be ignored. “Very kind of you. But do you know that attaching your name to this might be dangerous? It could have serious repercussions if this gets discovered. Not only for you, but also for the relationship between our kingdoms.”

“You’ll just have to write a clever letter then,” Ricky chimed in. “One that only Min Rei can understand. You can do that, right, Zhang Hao?”

Hao swallowed. As always, involving other people was a risk he didn’t like to take, but one he had to if he wanted to proceed. Using Gyuvin’s name was the only way they could be totally certain that Min Rei would read their letter. 

“I’ll have to codify it,” Hao agreed. “I cannot be direct in case someone intercepts the letter.”

“We value privacy in the Northern Empire. Nobody will even touch the letter of a prince,” Gyuvin told him, for some reason the least concerned. “And I don’t mind lending you my name. This is a worthwhile cause.”

It still made him uncomfortable, putting other people in this position. Even if all of them assured him multiple times they were aware of the risks, Hao hated the idea of any of them getting hurt because of him. 

“I’ll think about it,” Hao said, taking a deep breath. “But I’ve also found someone.”

He quickly recounted his encounter with Gunwook yesterday, which had prompted this entire meeting.

After he was done, everyone looked thoughtful. 

“If she was a servant over ten years ago, I wouldn’t have known her. I came here way after Scholar Zhang died,” Matthew said. 

“So Park Gunhee was a servant,” Taerae hummed. “I didn’t expect that. I assumed everyone on the list to be scholars or at least related to them.”

Hao understood his confusion. After all, his father had been a scholar, so most of his friends had wandered in the same circle. If he had discussed his work with anyone, it would’ve most likely been a scholar. 

“Park Gunhee worked in the gardens,” Hao thought out loud. “My father’s early works were all about flowers. He might’ve met her there.”

“No wonder she fled right away,” Ricky pointed out. “She was a servant and an omega. If she knew something, nobody would’ve protected her from meeting the same fate as scholar Zhang.”

A shiver traveled down Hao’s back. He had already assumed the same thing, but hearing it spoken out loud was chilling. His thoughts drifted back to Gunwook. 

Gunwook had just been a child back then. He had been innocent. He still was, just a flowerboy, making deliveries. Yet somehow, he had almost met the same fate as Hao. He almost lost a parent as well because of The Rose Project. 

“You think she’d talk to us?” Taerae asked him. 

Hao sighed deeply, feeling really ambivalent about what was the right thing to do in this case.

His family had brought danger to Park Gunhee before. And here Hao was, involving her again. But he saw no other way.

 “We have to try,” he said. “Gunwook gave me the address. They live at the southern border. I want to send her a letter and ask her to meet me in person.”

“That’s a good idea,” Matthew nodded. “People are more open face-to-face.”

That was Hao’s hope, too. 

“How are you going to get there?” Taerae asked him. 

“I’ll worry about that after she agrees to meet me,” Hao replied, also having worried about that. 

But one step at a time. First, they needed to reach out to her. It seemed like he had to write two really good letters. 

 

He exhaled loudly. Time to move on to the second part of the agenda. This one was no less nerve-wrecking. 

He distributed the flying papers he had written so far in between his friends, who studied them curiously.

“Oh, this is like a short form of the scripture!” Gyuvin figured it out right away. “Like a summary!”

"Correct," Hao confirmed with a small smile. “I’ve been calling them flying papers. The idea is to send them flying at an important event where as many people as possible will see them before they get confiscated for investigation.”

“That’s so clever!” Gyuvin exclaimed. “It’ll get people talking and curious about the full scripture.”

“And hopefully thinking about the injustice,” Hao added. Once they got people thinking, he hoped public opinion would be swayed in their favor. If people would be on their side, it would be easier to operate in the future. “I’ve written almost three hundred of them. I’m waiting for a good opportunity to distribute them.”

“Hao, this is truly amazing. You write even more pointedly than your father,” Taerae told him, skimming over the paper. “This will for sure stir up some trouble. Maybe even enough that a real publisher will take an interest.”

Hao was flattered by the high praise, smiling shyly. This had been the first thing he had written on his own. Technically, it was based on his father’s work, but those were still his words on the paper. He really hoped they would have an impact - even just a small one. If he managed to convince one person, it would be enough.

“Even so, I think it’s safest to stay anonymous for a while longer. At least until we’ve figured out my father’s case,” Hao said. “Unless we get support from the court and the law, this could still be counted as rebellion and treason. Convincing the public is just the first step.”

“Please, we have a prince working with us,” Matthew grinned confidently. “Once we turn public opinion around, the court will follow. And so will the law.”

“The King and Queen are not unreasonable people. They are not resistant to change,” Ricky commented. “But royalty is deeply rooted in traditions and customs. There are conservative forces in nobility that will not take kindly to your demands of equality. Changing ancient laws like this…it’ll take some convincing.”

Hao understood that now. While he personally couldn’t see why someone would not support the change The Rose Project wanted to bring, he knew that some people benefitted from the old ways. Change could be scary. But in this case, it was more than necessary. 

“You said you are waiting for the right opportunity,” Taerae said. “Maybe the next ball of the courting season? Lots of people attend.”

That’s what Hao had thought as well. 

“Those are not the people you want to reach. Young couples, noblemen still working underneath their parents, they have no real influence yet,” Ricky shook his head. “You want to reach the people in power. And the servants, for they carry information to everyone else in the castle.”

Hao sensed that Ricky was hinting at something.

“What do you have in mind?” He asked him curiously. 

“My cousin’s, the princess’, birthday is in a few days. The entire royal family and all high-ranking nobles will attend,” Ricky shot out, as if he had waited for that question. “All servants were asked to serve that day as well.”

Of course, Hao had heard about the princess’ birthday, it was impossible not to. But it was such an exclusive event, he hadn’t even considered it for his plan. Now that Ricky had pointed it out, however, it truly was the perfect opportunity.

It would be a night everybody would talk about. It was perfect to cause trouble. 

“He’s right. I’ve been asked to serve champagne the entire night,” Matthew nodded. “So I’ll be there.”

“Gyuvin and I as well,” Ricky said, holding Gyuvin’s arm.

“But you two could not possibly send these flyings. People would notice if you went missing,” Matthew shook his head. “I, on the other hand, am invisible.”

As the only servant among them, Matthew often played a different role. They had used his invisibility to their advantage. He could get into places unseen, because servants were never paid any mind. Most noblemen didn’t even bother to learn their names and faces because there were just so many of them. 

It was a practice Hao disliked. He knew Matthew suffered under it as well. It was obvious in the way he revelled in attention whenever it was given to him. 

“Don’t say that lightly,” Hao reminded him. “If you get caught with these, it could end dire for you.”

“Please, Hao, I know what I’m doing,” Matthew calmed him. “You know how well I can sneak around. If these two help me by creating a diversion, I’ll have no trouble sending the papers flying. Nobody will even know it was me.”

He grinned at Ricky and Gyuvin, who nodded in support.

It still unnerved Hao that he wouldn’t be there when it happened. Maybe it was not only his mother who liked to be in control.

“You can trust me, Hao,” Matthew insisted once more. 

Hao sighed. Trust wasn’t the issue. It was the fact that among them, Matthew was the most vulnerable. He faced the highest risk, as he had no title or no money protecting him. 

“You told me I was made for more than serving tea. So let me do this,” Matthew reminded him. 

Hao gave in. 

“Fine. But we’ll have to come up with a real plan,” he agreed, handing off all the flying papers to Matthew. 

“Thank you,” Matthew beamed at him, holding the papers almost reverently. 

Hao watched him with mixed feelings. 

He really hoped this was the right decision.

 

It was past midnight when Hao blew out the last candles. They spend hours finalizing the plan. While Hao still felt a little queasy about it, there was also another emotion mingling in his guts. At first, he hadn’t recognized it, the fear too overwhelming. But then he realized - it was excitement. 

This was it. The first steps. This was what his father had wanted him to do with his work. It was the legacy he had left behind for him. Hao would do his best to do him justice. 

While this was only the beginning, Hao knew that with their first move, things would be set into motion. It would maybe take a few more months until he got the entire Rose Project ready for publishing, but the idea would be out then. There would be no going back. 

Hao picked up the last candle in his hand. The flame was small, but it would be enough to light him the way back to his rooms. Everyone else had already left. Hao had insisted it would be less suspicious if they left separately, so he had stayed until everyone else had left. 

A few minutes had passed since Gyuvin had bid him goodnight, so hopefully the prince had made it safely into his bed by now. Hao took the keys, scanned the office once more - everything was hidden where it was supposed to be - then he slipped out of the door.

He looked left and right, but at this hour the hallway was empty. Still, it was good to be cautious. Some of the scholars liked to work late into the night.

He locked the door behind him and began sneaking down the corridor. 

Just when he thought he had made it to the staircase unseen, there was another light casting its shine against the walls. Hao’s heart pounded in his chest as he saw the shadow move closer towards him, the steps coming down the stairs getting louder. 

He looked around in panic, but there was no good place to hide. An excuse! He needed to come up with a good explanation for why he was here! 

What could that be? Restless feet? Hunger? A nightmare? Sleepwalking?

He blew out his light, hoping if he kept his head down, whoever was heading towards him would not look at his face too closely. Perhaps they would simply pass him by, thinking he was a scholar working on his thesis late into the night. 

Regarding that the best plan, Hao kept his gaze glued to his feet and confidently moved onwards. If he didn’t look like he didn’t belong here, maybe he wouldn’t be questioned.

He hurried his steps as the stranger neared. He could do this. He was about to pass by the stranger, when someone grabbed his wrist. 

“Stop right there.”

It was a familiar voice. Hao’s breathing stopped. He lifted his gaze.

“Zhang Hao.”

Kim Jiwoong was looking at him with stern eyes. 

Jiwoong had always had a serious face, maybe it came from being a guard his entire life. At this moment, his expression was downright stoic. He didn’t look happy. 

“Jiwoong,” Hao said, pulling his wrist out of his grasp and bowing politely. “What a lovely night, isn't it? Perfect for a walk.”

Jiwoong's face didn’t even twitch at his attempt at an excuse. 

“We both know you aren’t here for a walk. You’re not as subtle as you think you are.”

Hao felt tension rise in his body. 

If Jiwoong had followed him here, anyone else could’ve done the same. Had it been reckless after all meeting up at night? 

He liked Jiwoong. The guard had shown him great kindness in the past. He knew Jiwoong had a soft side to him, one that looked out for the people he cared for. That’s why being a guard suited him. Not because Jiwoong knew how to be strong and brutal with a sword, but because he knew when to be soft. 

However, even with all the good feelings Hao had for him, right now, he wished for him to be anyplace else. 

He took a deep breath in, trying to summon his courage. 

“And what are you doing here?” He challenged him in return. 

As a guard, and more importantly, an alpha, Jiwoong didn’t have to adhere to night time rules. In contrast to Hao, Jiwoong was free to wander the castle at any time he liked. 

That didn’t mean it was common for alphas to roam around at night. So an explanation was very much not too much to demand. 

“Hanbin’s told me to watch out for you,” Jiwoong told him, clearly not making up an excuse like Hao had. “He’s been worried about your safety.”

Hao’s heart warmed for a fraction of a second. Of course, it was Hanbin’s doing, who only ever wanted the best for everyone. It wasn’t like he hadn’t told Hao either. No, he had informed Hao about the precautions he would be taking after learning about the will. 

Yet, Hao hadn’t assumed Jiwoong to look out for him even past daytime. 

“As you can see, I’m perfectly safe,” Hao told him, trying to brush him off quickly. “No need to worry.”

Jiwoong’s gaze narrowed on him. 

“Don’t play stupid with me. We both know you’re not. And it doesn’t suit you.”

Hao has never been good at lying and Jiwoong would be a hard person to fool. He was trained to look through the false facades of people, to detect harm where people didn’t suspect a threat. 

“So,” Jiwoong took a step closer to him. “Why don’t you tell me what you’ve been really doing?”

Hao’s mind was quickly flickering between all the possible answers he could give. What would convince Jiwoong to leave him alone?

“I couldn’t sleep,” Hao started carefully. “I come down here to my father’s study to think sometimes. Hanbin gave me the key.”

“And do you usually invite other people if you want to think?” Jiwoong asked him, clearly not buying any of his excuses. “I didn’t know thinking was a group activity.”

Hao’s heart dropped. It seemed like Jiwoong had been watching him for longer than he had hoped. Just how much had he seen?

“I understand having a nightly tea session with Matthew and Taerae,” Jiwoong answered the question for him. “But why, Zhang Hao, are you hosting two princes after midnight?”

Hao gulped. His pretense had fallen. 

“Prince Ricky and I have become close during the courting season. He likes being invited when I meet my other friends,” Hao said, which wasn’t technically a lie. 

Jiwoong didn’t look convinced. Hao couldn’t blame him. Anyone with a curious mind wouldn’t be satisfied with his half-truths. 

“What are you up to?” Jiwoong questioned him. 

“That’s confidential,” Hao decided to shoot him down straight forward. Otherwise he knew Jiwoong would never stop his interrogation. 

The guard scoffed. 

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Jiwoong told him. “Don’t put yourself in danger without reason.”

Hao understood that Jiwoong was coming from a place of concern. That didn’t give him the right to judge Hao when he knew nothing of his motives. 

“I’m not stupid,” Hao replied harshly. “And I’m not reckless.”

Jiwoong looked frustrated now. “I’m not saying you are. But Hanbin told me you are in danger and then I find you sneaking around at night with Matthew-” 

His voice broke. Suddenly, Hao understood.

“Matthew isn’t stupid either,” Hao said, voice growing softer. “He’s not doing anything he doesn’t want to.”

“So what he does, what you are doing, it’s dangerous, right?” Jiwoong asked, clearly nervous now.

It’s not like Hao could lie to him. He had tried and it didn’t work.

“It might not make sense to you, but it’s something he needs to do,” Hao replied. “That we all need to do.”

“I just wish he could stay out of it. Why does he always jump into everything when it’s not safe! I just want him to be safe!” Jiwoong was upset. “Why can’t he just stay out of it and be reasonable, just this once!”

“Are you in love with him?”

Jiwoong looked up in surprise. “I-”

“Because if you were truly in love with him, you’d understand. Matthew was never happy living in the shadows. Matthew could never sit still if there are things that can be done,” Hao said, full of conviction. “You once told me you liked him for his bravery. So don’t take it from him or call him unreasonable because of it. Let him be brave if he wants to be.”

Jiwoong bit down on his lip. No matter how much he liked him and how much he wished for his friends to find happiness with each other, Matthew deserved someone who would love him fully. Not someone who would cage him with their love. He needed the type of love that set him free. 

The guard sighed. “You are right. I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just-”

“In love,” Hao intercepted him.

Jiwoong nodded, defeated.

“Admitting when you are wrong is a strength not many possess,” Hao complimented him. “It’s a trait that’ll help you a lot.”

It was silent for a moment. Hao wasn’t sure if he had gone too far, arguing with Jiwoong like this.

“You truly are wise,” Jiwoong told him quietly. 

Hao’s heart calmed down in relief.

“I appreciate your concern and your effort on Hanbin’s behalf to look out for me,” Hao ignored the compliment. “But I cannot stop now. Some things are worth the risk.”

“You’re really not going to tell me what you are doing?” Jiwoong asked him one last time.

“It’s in your best interest,” Hao replied. It was the truth. If Jiwoong wanted them to be safe, it would be better for the secret to stay between them. 

The Rose Project was dangerous to know about. No matter your station. 

“Can I at least walk you to your room then?” Jiwoong offered. 

Of course, he had the same good manners as Hanbin. 

Hao graced him with a smile. “That you can do.”

 

It wasn’t a long walk to his room. Hao noticed how Jiwoong kept a hand on his sword at all times. Perhaps a habit, perhaps the darkness of the night put all of them a little on edge. Hao could sense there was something lingering on his mind. 

“This is it,” Hao stopped him when they reached his door. “Thanks for bringing me here. I’ll retire now.”

“You’re not going to wander on your own again tonight?” Jiwoong wanted confirmation.

Hao laughed softly. “I promise, the only place I’ll wander to is my bed.”

Jiwoong nodded, satisfied with his answer. 

“Hao,” he called him back before Hao could fulfill his promise. 

“Yes?” He asked, turning away from his door. 

“I hope you know. Hanbin. He’s in love with you,” Jiwoong said, clearly needing to get this off his chest before they would part for the night. “Whatever it is you are doing, whatever is worth the risk, just know you are no longer just carrying your own heart.”

Hao exhaled, the words hitting something deep inside of him.

“You are carrying Hanbin’s, too. I swore to protect him when the Sung family took me in. You are his heart now, that means you are under my protection, too. But Hao, please don’t take his heart lightly,” Jiwoong said, a rare vulnerability resting in his eyes. 

Hao had known about the bond Jiwoong and Hanbin shared, having spent many years growing up together. He had never heard Jiwoong speak about it so openly, however, their bond usually only visible through the small acts of kindness they exchanged with each other. Hanbin truly must be a dear friend to him. Just like with Matthew, Jiwoong cared deeply about him. 

“Hanbin is very strong. I taught him to be, I taught him to fight. But when it comes to you, he is very weak,” Jiwoong said, almost pleadingly. “So please, don’t do anything that could hurt him.”

Jiwoong regarded him one last earnest look, before turning around and walking away.

Hao’s heart was beating wildly in his chest. No, it ached. Hurt. Because it had long since left him. 

As much as Hanbin’s heart was his, Hao’s heart was with Hanbin just as much. 

Each day that the birthday of the princess got closer, Hao grew more nervous. Finally, the day had come. 

If everything went according to plan, last night Matthew had hidden the flying papers in the ballroom. Hao had actually come up with a clever system. Since the ballroom had a high ceiling, nobody would notice the small device in between all the chandeliers. He had attached a translucent thread, just like the ones used for fishing, to a small basket where the papers were stored in. The threat would be draped across the ceiling, into the curtains of the windows. All that was needed to tilt the basket and release the papers was to pull at the string. They would fly down on all party guests like giant snowflakes, without anyone knowing who was responsible for the chaos.

It was good that Ricky had free access to all castle rooms, otherwise it would’ve been hard to prepare the contraption. Hao had made him detailed drawings and Ricky had reported back to him that it should all work flawlessly. 

They decided it would be best to put the papers inside at the latest moment possible, to avoid anyone discovering and confiscating them before they were released. So Matthew snuck into the ballroom last night, to place them inside the little basket. 

The sun was rising outside now and Hao waited for Matthew to find him in his rooms. They were supposed to have one last meeting in the afternoon to go over everything one last time. 

Hao put on his casual robes and was about to head outside to grab some of Matthew’s favorite treats, when there was a knock on his door. It startled him for a moment. Neither Taerae nor anyone else had announced themselves for breakfast.

He crossed his room, curious to find out who would want to speak with him so early. 

The sight he was met with was much more pleasant than he had expected. 

Sung Hanbin was smiling at him, a bouquet of White Oleanders in one hand and a tray of food in the other. 

Hao’s heart fluttered. He hadn’t expected to see Hanbin at all today. They had gone on a stroll yesterday afternoon and Hanbin had told him he would be teaching all day today.

What a pleasant surprise. 

“Hanbin,” he breathed out, cheeks rising with happiness. “What are you doing here?”

Hanbin chuckled. “I just wanted to see you. So I brought breakfast.”

Hao’s heart clenched with fondness. 

“You are-” Hao said, searching for words that fit. Hanbin curiously raised his eyebrows. “A dream.”

Hanbin laughed again. “If you say so,” he said. 

“Please, come inside,” Hao told him, opening the door all the way.

Hanbin hesitated a little. He had shown reluctance to enter his chambers ever since bringing Hao here in the midst of his heat. 

The memory still managed to fluster Hao greatly. That’s why he worked even harder to make Hanbin forget about it, wanting him to feel comfortable in his room again.

“Please?” Hao repeated and that seemed to be enough to convince Hanbin. 

Once he crossed the doorstep, Hao closed the door behind him. Hanbin set the tray of food down on his bed and placed the flowers in the empty vase on his desk. 

“Thank you. These are beautiful,” Hao told him gratefully. “And for the food.”

Hanbin nodded curtly, sitting down on the desk chair while Hao settled back into bed.

“Didn’t you have a lesson in the morning?” Hao asked him, curious about the surprise visit. 

“Lady Jung cancelled on me. She ate a bad clam yesterday and is feeling rather nauseous this morning,” Hanbin explained to him. 

Hao had never been so happy about someone getting sick.

“Oh,” he hummed, picking up a bread roll from the breakfast tray. It was still warm. “Have you eaten yet?”

Hanbin watched as he cut the roll in half and spread some strawberry jam on top. He shook his head.

Hao pouted. That wouldn't do! “Why don’t you join me then?”

He patted the empty spot on his bed, inviting Hanbin to share the space and food with him.

Hanbin stared at him for a long time. His jaw tensed.

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” he said through clenched teeth.

Hao frowned in confusion. “Why not?” He asked, not sure why Hanbin was so against sitting down on his bed. “We’ve shared a bed before.”

It was true. Hao spent an entire night cuddled in Hanbin’s sheets. So it wasn’t like Hanbin didn’t like the proximity per se. Did he?

Hanbin took in a heavy breath. His eyes were fierce as he looked at him. “Because once I’m in your bed, I’m not sure what I’m going to do.”

A shiver made Hao’s body tremble. Whenever Hanbin got this intense, his gaze shifted into something darker, more alluring. Desire was building inside of Hao. 

It wasn’t a sensation he was overly familiar with, but by now he knew how to recognize it. The gentle burn in his stomach, the feeling of sparkles in his fingertips. 

He wanted Hanbin. 

Slowly, he rose to his feet, walking over to Hanbin. The alpha looked up at him, a mixture of awe and hesitation in his eyes. Carefully, Hao reached for his hand. 

With patient force, he pulled Hanbin out of the chair. Gaze not leaving him, he guided them back towards his bed. 

“Hao,” Hanbin said shakily when the back of Hao’s knees hit the bed and he sat down. 

Hao glanced up through his eyelashes. Hanbin was standing tall in front of him, fingers still intertwined. A single tuck more and he would tumble forward, right on top of him.

“Once I start, I’m not sure I can hold back,” Hanbin said, as if that was a warning Hao needed.

Determination filled Hao. He pulled at Hanbin’s hand. His back hit the sheets as Hanbin fell forward. They had never been in this position before. A tremble moved down Hao’s body. 

Hanbin was hovering above him, eyes pinched close. 

“Your sheets,” he muttered, voice strained. “They smell like you.”

Hao understood all too well how Hanbin must be feeling. He still remembered what it had been like, lying in Hanbin’s sheets, engulfed by the scent of pinewood. 

In his own bed, he could hardly pick up on his own rosy scent, already too accustomed to it, but for Hanbin it must be intense. Maybe that’s why he had kept his distance. 

“Do you like it?” Hao asked him. So far he had never dared to ask anyone if they favored his scent, afraid to hear the answer. But with Hanbin, he felt safe, because Hanbin owned his heart.

Hanbin’s eyes were still closed as his lips twitched into a smile. “Goodness,” he breathed, before opening his eyes. “You have really no idea what you do to me.”

Hao gulped. His hands, so far uselessly lying by his side, started moving. He glided them over Hanbin’s broad shoulders until they reached his hair.

His eyes fluttered close as he nudged Hanbin even closer, until he could taste his breath. 

A lightning bolt cursed through his body when Hanbin finally leaned in. His lips were soft and fleeting against his, and Hao involuntarily whimpered when the touch disappeared. He craved more. 

He curled his fingers deeper into Hanbin’s hair and the alpha growled. The sound traveled through his body, making him sigh in pleasure. 

It seemed like an eternity had passed until Hanbin kissed him, really kissed him. His lips captured his with increasing passion, heat building between them. Hanbin’s tongue was licking into his mouth, making Hao think he had left earth behind and entered heaven. 

“Hanbin,” he whispered the only thing on his mind. 

The scent of pinewood was wavering around him like a thick cloud. It was a dangerous thing. Hao, always priding himself on his wits and sharp mind, found himself rendered completely thoughtless.

Hanbin’s lips wandered down, over his jaw to his neck. A sharp breath fell from Hao’s lips as he arched his back, throwing his head back. The sensation was too good, it was like a thousand little fires lighting up his skin. 

He gasped when he felt the hint of teeth graze his neck. 

He jerked his legs and hit something hard. A loud clunk made both of them startle apart.

Hao’s feet had hit the glass of juice on the breakfast tray that had spilled all over the floor. 

Before he could truly comprehend it, Hanbin was gone. The sudden lack of warmth and scent made him blink in confusion. Slowly, he sat up. 

Hanbin was already on his knees, swiping up the liquid with a towel. Hao watched him, still dazed, lips tingling. 

The longer Hanbin was away from him, the clearer his mind got. 

His heart was beating frantically against his ribs. It wasn’t like they had never kissed before, but it had never been this intense. His face felt hot.

If Hao hadn’t knocked down that glass…what would have happened?

Hanbin’s ears were bright red as he stood up, throwing the towel in the hamper for laundry. Luckily, the glass hadn’t broken. Hao leaned down to pick it up. 

The silence between them was thick. The only sound was their heavy breathing, evidence of what they had been up to just moments prior. 

Hanbin cleared his throat. He was back to sitting on the chair. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean…” He started, looking uncharacteristically flustered. “I got carried away. I knew it wasn’t a good idea.”

A weird feeling spread inside Hao’s gut. Hanbin was apologizing. Had he not wanted it? Had he not liked it?

Hao, admittedly, had no idea what he was doing, but so far Hanbin had never seemed to dislike any of their encounters. Had he done anything wrong this time?

“Oh,” he breathed out. “I’m sorry, too.”

He wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for, but he didn’t know what else to say. He wished he could read Hanbin’s mind. 

Hanbin was usually pretty open and honest about his feelings, but Hao had noticed in the past that when it came to this sort of intimacy, Hanbin was very hard to read. Which was a problem, because Hao mostly felt too shy and embarrassed to really bring himself to talk about it. 

Hanbin nodded, features still all torn up with tension. He stood up to open the windows. He remained there, taking a few breaths of fresh air before returning to his seat. It seemed like that had calmed him down enough. 

He was back to smiling softly at him as he pointed to the remaining food on the tray. 

“You should eat,” Hanbin reminded him gently. “I only picked the best things for you.”

The tension between them resided within the blink of an eye. The usual comfort that their conversations carried was back. Usually, Hao always loved the atmosphere when he was together with Hanbin, but somehow he couldn’t help but feel a smidge of disappointment.

He picked up the bread roll he had filled with jam earlier. He took a bite. It was still warm and crispy. He put it down to spread blueberry jam on the other half. Then he handed that one to Hanbin. 

“You need to eat, too,” Hao insisted. “You have a long day ahead of you.”

Hanbin accepted the food with a warm smile. “Thank you.”

Hao watched pleased as he ate the food he prepared for him. He had never really been interested in cooking but he could see the appeal of sharing food with the people you cared about.

A relaxed silence settled between them as they finished their food. Hao could get used to spending his mornings like this. Did Hanbin want that, too? Seeing him first thing in the morning every day? 

Hao subtly shook his head. He was getting ahead of himself. 

“Hao?” Hanbin broke the silence. His longue licked the crumbs off of his lips and Hao followed the movement mesmerized. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Hao blinked, trying to focus. “Yes?”

There was something hesitant in Hanbin’s face as he shifted on his chair. 

“You know, back when you told me about the will?” Hanbin started cautiously.

Immediately Hao straightened up as well. So it was this kind of conversation. 

“Yes?” He urged Hanbin to continue. 

“I’ve told Jiwoong to look out for you and your family,” Hanbin took the invite. “He told me you’ve been sneaking around at night.”

Hao sighed. 

Perhaps he should’ve expected this. Of course, Jiwoong was employed by the Sungs, he would report back to them. 

If it had taken Hanbin almost a week to bring it up with him now, he must’ve thought a lot about it.

“Nothing happened to me,” Hao assured him, knowing that Hanbin’s main concern was about his safety. 

Hanbin stared at him in disbelief. “But you do understand why that would worry me?”

“I like to go on strolls when I cannot sleep. You know that,” Hao said, trying to keep Hanbin as far away from this as possible. 

Not if tonight could still go wrong. Hanbin could not be indicated should their plan fail. It would ruin him.

Hanbin’s expression was serious. “You tell me Lord Yoon is threatening you about the will, but you still decide to go out on your own at night when you are least protected? Hao, you must know how unreasonable that sounds!”

“I told you, nothing happened to me. I am fine,” Hao repeated firmly. 

He hated lying to Hanbin, but it was the lesser evil in this case.

Hanbin looked frustrated now. “But something might happen. If you keep doing this, you might get hurt.”

Hao closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in and out. He knew he would act the same if he was in Hanbin’s place, so he couldn’t blame him for getting upset. 

“I know you are probably a good bit smarter than most people you share conversations with, me included,” Hanbin said. “But I’m not blind, Hao. I know you are up to something.”

It seemed like Hao was worse at keeping secrets than he had thought. He believed they had taken enough precautions for their activities to remain undetected. But of course, if you paid attention, you noticed.

And Hanbin, admittedly, had always paid the most attention to him. 

“Hanbin, I’m not-”

“Don’t deny it,” Hanbin intercepted. “You disappear for hours at a time where I cannot find you. Then you tell me about that testament. And now you are putting yourself in danger by sneaking around at night. I’m not stupid. I can put two and two together.”

Hao swallowed. “I’ve never said you were stupid.”

Hanbin huffed out an empty laugh. “If you truly don’t want to, you don’t have to tell me what it is you are really doing.”

Guilt overcame Hao. He didn’t want Hanbin to feel like he didn’t trust him. 

“It’s not like I don’t want to,” Hao said quietly. “It’s just safer for you this way.”

“Safer for me?” Hanbin repeated after him. “What about you, Hao? What about your safety?”

“Don’t worry about my safety-”

This time, Hanbin actually laughed, but it sounded all hollow. “Do you know how insane that sounds to me? Not worry about you? You might as well tell me not to breathe! Do you really not understand how I feel for you?”

Hao’s heart ached, hearing the strain in Hanbin’s voice.

He knew all too well how Hanbin felt. He was feeling it all the same, like their hearts had been connected all along. That was why he was doing this. Because to him, Hanbin’s safety mattered more than his own.

“Every minute of every day that I cannot see you, you are still in my mind. Even if I tried, I couldn’t stop worrying about you,” Hanbin told him fiercely. “You’ve always been there, right in my heart. And I just wish you would let me in.”

A moment passed. 

His legs felt weak as he stood up, carrying him across the room. He knelt down in front of Hanbin, taking his hands and leading them to his heart. 

“You are there,” Hao told him earnestly. The last thing he wanted was for Hanbin to doubt his feelings for him. Not when that was one of the few things Hao was so, so certain about. 

Hanbin’s eyes widened. Slowly, he spread his palm, feeling Hao’s heartbeat. Then he pulled back to reach for Hao’s hands, holding them tightly. 

“Then please, just let me help you,” Hanbin asked of him, sounding desperate. “I only want to protect you. Whatever it is, I will protect you.”

Hao felt his walls tremble. “I-”

 

Before any words could leave his mouth, the door to his room swung open, banging against his wall like an explosion. 

He startled so badly, for a moment he feared he would have a heart attack. 

Taerae was standing on his doorstep, breathing heavily. His hair was a mess and there was sweat dripping down his forehead. He looked terrified. 

“Hao,” he heaved, holding onto the doorframe as if that was the only thing keeping him upright. Hao feared his friend would pass out any second. 

Quickly he jumped to his feet and hurried over to steady him. 

Taerae’s body quivered, pupils shaking. “It’s Matthew,” he finally managed to say. 

Hao’s heart dropped. “What happened?”

“He’s been attacked.”

Notes:

dum dum DUM!
is the cliffhanger bad? haha

a lot more plot happening this time, let me know what you think about all of it!! and a little haobin at the end :3

thank you for reading!! <3

Chapter 21: Yarrow

Summary:

Yarrow. Known for its resilience and ability to thrive under harsh conditions, believed to have many healing properties

Notes:

ahhh so sorry for making you wait, huhu i really tried to get this chapter out as soon as possible, i hope you'll take this as my apology :]

When Hao was a child, his mother had told him he had two left feet. He had started walking late and never quite caught up with the other toddlers. His balance remained unstable most his life, even if he eventually got the hang of walking. For all running competitions, he always came in last and most other physical activities weren’t his strength either. 

Fortunately, around that time he had learnt how to read from his father, so he didn’t mind sitting out when all his peers raced to find out who was the fastest one among them. 

In conclusion, it was needless to point out that Hao definitely wasn’t the best runner. Definitely not the fastest. 

In the present, however, he found himself running like his life depended on it. It was him who reached the infirmary first. 

A healer gave him a surprised look as he slid around the corner, almost crashing into one of the spare beds. 

He scanned the room. He spotted him in a corner, curtains drawn halfway around his bed to give a sense of privacy. 

Not caring about the scolding looks of the healer Hao bolted over there. 

His vision blurred with tears as he recognized the weak frame of his friend. 

Matthew was lying motionlessly in the bed, chest sinking and falling shallowly. His eyes were shut but it didn’t look like a peaceful rest. His skin was pale, almost greyish. There was a bandage wrapped around his head. At one side, it was stained red from where Matthew had bled. 

Hao felt dizzy, the world shifting on its axis. 

Just in time someone reached for his arm, keeping him upright. Shocked by the sudden touch, he turned around. 

Jiwoong was sitting by Matthew’s bedside. He hadn’t even noticed him there when he had entered. 

He looked tired, exhausted even. His face was drained of any color and there were dark circles underneath his eyes.

Hao’s knees buckled and he sank to the floor. His forehead rested against Matthew’s bed.

His entire body felt like it was inside a hole filled with sludge and mud. Every move felt heavy. Every attempt to escape only made him sink deeper. It was a lost fight. 

A faint ringing echoed in his mind growing louder and louder, making his head ache.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, not really knowing whom he was addressing. 

Both Matthew and Jiwoong deserved his apology. His body shook with a suppressed sob as a hot tear streaked his cheek. 

What has he done? 

“What happened?” Hao asked, slowly lifting his head to take in Matthew’s frail state. He was terribly afraid of hearing the answer.

Jiwoong sighed heavily, all emotions drained from his body.

“He didn’t return to his chambers last night. When he didn’t come to serve breakfast on time, I got worried. So I went looking for him.” Jiwoong’s voice was cold. “I found him near the great ballroom. There was blood everywhere. A chandelier crashed down on him. All the shards…”

Hao felt nauseous just hearing about it. A chandelier had dropped on Matthew, seemingly just when he had been about to hide the flying papers for him. 

This couldn’t be a coincidence.

“Did the healer say something?” Hao whispered, his voice hoarse. 

“He must’ve lied there for hours. He lost a lot of blood,” Jiwoong told him bitterly. “She said we’d have to wait.”

Hao sobbed against Matthew’s blanket. This was all his fault! They had relied on Matthew’s invisibility too much. Seulchoo had told him it was much easier to hurt an omega than an alpha. It was even easier to hurt an omega servant. Nobody looked out for them. They were the most vulnerable. 

Nobody would even question if it had truly been an accident. If a noble alpha had been hurt, there would’ve been an entire investigation about why the chandelier had been loose, but Matthew enjoyed no such privileges. 

In his case, it would just be bad luck. Tragic, but nothing that could be helped.

Hao burned with rage and guilt. He should’ve never let Matthew put himself in the crossfire like this. He cried for his friend and all omegas just like him. He cried for the injustice of the world. He cried.

 

“Hao,” a gentle voice called out to him. 

This time, it was Hanbin. Him and Taerae must’ve finally caught up to him in the infirmary. The sound of their breathing was filling the tense silence. 

Soft hands pried him away from Matthew’s sheets. Hao clutched onto Hanbin instead, clinging desperately onto his robes. Hanbin pulled him up to his feet and into a tight embrace. 

“Shhh,” Hanbin soothed him, gently brushing through his hair and down his back. 

Hao sobbed bitterly into his arms. 

Just a few minutes ago he had looked forward to this day with nervous anticipation. How had everything turned so bad so fast?

Somehow someone managed to get him a chair. Hao practically collapsed into it. Hanbin didn’t let go of his hands, holding them tightly.

The voices of his friends talking drowned out. His thoughts sharpened. 

If Matthew was hurt…no, nobody would dare to hurt a prince. But what if? Hao hadn’t believed it possible for Matthew, brave, strong Matthew, to get hurt like this. He couldn’t take any more chances. 

Matthew wasn't the only one he had delegated to deal with the flying papers.

He let go of Hanbin’s hands and wiped his tears away. He needed to act and he needed to act now. 

Hanbin had crouched down in front of him, looking stunned by Hao’s sudden shift in mood. Hao’s gaze sharpened. 

“Hanbin, I need you to go and find Prince Ricky,” Hao told him, full of conviction.

Hanbin blinked, obviously perplexed. 

“W-what?” He asked, understandably confused by the sudden request.

“You need to go and find Prince Ricky,” Hao repeated firmly. 

Between all of them, Hanbin had the highest standing. If anyone would be let into the royal quarters, it would be him. 

“Why?” Hanbin asked, his frown only deepening. 

Hao bit on his lip. Now more than ever it was important to keep Hanbin away from all of this. He had just witnessed how dangerous it was to be associated with The Rose Project. 

“I cannot tell you,” Hao replied.

Hanbin sighed in frustration. “Well, I’m not going to leave you right now!”

It was sweet. Hao knew Hanbin only cared for his safety. In any other circumstances, Hao would’ve never dreamed of sending Hanbin away in the first place. Nothing soothed him like Hanbin’s steady presence. But this situation demanded urgency, not sentimentality . 

“Hanbin, please,” Hao begged him. “Please, just try to find him.”

Hanbin looked reluctant, but only for a second longer. Something inside of him gave way and he let out a long breath. He rose to his feet. 

“Alright. Whatever you need,” Hanbin agreed, like it hadn’t really been a choice for him. If Hao asked, he would comply.

Jiwoong and Taerae silently observed their conversation. Taerae’s face was serious, sharing his sense of urgency. But even on Jiwoong’s face there was an inkling of suspicion. 

Hao didn’t dare ask anything of the guard at this moment, for he knew his heart was broken and he was partly responsible for it. But his eyes pleaded silently. 

Jiwoong seemed to understand. His stoic expression didn’t shift one bit, but he joined Hanbin’s side.

“I will go with you,” he announced.

Hanbin’s confusion only seemed to grow. “No, stay here, I know you-”

“I’ll go with you,” Jiwoong repeated before Hanbin could truly protest. 

Hanbin looked from Jiwoong back to Hao, who quickly turned his gaze away. He exhaled. 

“Fine. Thank you,” he said, seemingly accepting his lack of knowledge. 

Both alphas turned to leave, but Hao reached out for Hanbin’s hand before he was gone. 

“Be careful,” Hao said, voice barely a whisper. 

Hanbin’s gaze softened. His eyes flickered to Matthew and he seemed to understand that something was at stake here. 

“You, too. Don’t wander around alone while I’m gone,” Hanbin told him, voice leaving no room for objection. 

Not that Hao would’ve. He was right where he needed to be.

“I’ll stay with him,” Taerae said, sinking into the seat that had previously been occupied by Jiwoong. 

“Okay. Stay safe,” Hanbin reminded him once more, before letting go of his hand and really leaving.

 

Hao waited until he could hear the door of the infirmary fall into its lock before turning to Taerae.

“We both know this wasn’t an accident, right?” Hao said, keeping his voice low to not be overheard by the nurses. 

Taerae shook his head. “I don’t believe in coincidences.”

Hearing his suspicion confirmed, Hao’s heart felt even heavier. He had sent Matthew into this. 

He leaned over to his friend, reaching out for his hand. There were small scratches from the glass of the chandelier all over them. His face, however, was smooth as ever. He took a closer look at the bandages on Matthew’s head. His forehead creased. Somehow, they didn’t fit. 

As if struck by lightning, Hao carefully inspected the headwound. It didn’t look like something had fallen on top of him. No, the impact must’ve come more from behind.

“He was ambushed from behind!” Hao pointed out to Taerae. “He must’ve been knocked unconscious before the chandelier was even dropped. That was just a disguise to hide that he was purposefully ambushed!”

Taerae’s eyes widened as he followed Hao's theory. He inspected the injuries himself and seemed to come to the same conclusion. 

Taerae inhaled sharply through his teeth, lips twitching with obvious disgust. “What cowards.”

It was clear who he was insulting. They both knew who had done this to their friend. Lord Yoon’s handiwork was written all over this. He had disguised a murder as an accident once before and got away with it. 

Hao’s heart clenched. He couldn’t this time. His father’s death was irreversible, but Matthew couldn’t….he wasn’t dead yet. He needed to live. 

“Hao,” Taerae suddenly said, sounding alarmed. “Hao, the papers!”

Hao’s mind was currently very far away from worrying about the flying papers and their failed plan. The only thing he cared about was that Matthew lived.

“He must’ve been on his way to hide them in the basket,” Taerae kept talking. 

Yes , Hao thought bitterly, because I sent him. 

“They didn’t find the papers with him,” Taerae said, voice shaking. 

It took Hao a moment to understand, but then realization hit him. The flying papers were gone. Jiwoong had found Matthew, who surely would’ve noticed them. That meant they had been removed from Matthew before Jiwoong had arrived at the scene. 

The Rose Project had been discovered. No, it had been stolen. 

Of course, the original was still safely hidden in his father’s study. But the flying papers he had worked on for the past weeks were all gone. It wasn’t that he was upset about all his effort being wasted now, but about what this meant for them, for the future of the Project. 

Whoever had taken the papers knew about them now. Of course, the papers had been written anonymously, so there was no proof that Hao was the one behind them. But Lord Yoon must know, just like Hao knew that it was him who had hurt Matthew. 

Hao felt like he had lost in a game he hadn’t known they were playing. Until now, Lord Yoon had no idea what his father and now Hao had been working on. He might’ve suspected, but he hadn’t known. 

Now he had a perfect summary about just what exactly Hao was trying to fight. Hell, he had hundreds of summaries! Which meant he could be much more strategic about shutting down his efforts for change in the future. They no longer enjoyed the privileges of secrecy.

“Something is weird, though,” Taerae thought out loud. “If he found these with Matthew, why didn’t he accuse him of treason? All the evidence was there!”

Hao had multiple reasons why he didn’t. First, he must admit that he hurt Matthew then. Second, he might not have expected Matthew to survive the night anyway. Third-

“He knows it’s not Matthew pulling the strings,” Hao spoke out loud. “Or well, I bet he thinks a servant could’ve never written anything like that. He knows it’s me.”

Taerae inhaled sharply. “He’s coming for you.”

Hao nodded. Somehow the thought didn’t even scare him that much. With Matthew lying in front of him barely breathing, every emotion inside him dulled. Nothing of this would mean anything if they lost Matthew. Matthew was The Rose Project. Just like Taerae was, and Ricky and Gyuvin were. If they lost just one of them, The Rose Project wasn’t complete anymore. 

Devastation had never felt quite like this before. 

“I deserve it. This is all my fault,” Hao stated ruefully. 

Next to him, Taerae gasped in shock.

“Don’t say that! You didn’t want this to happen. Matthew knew what he was getting into,” Taerae told him sternly, but Hao couldn’t believe him. It was hard to accept comfort when guilt was tearing him up inside.

“Lord Yoon threatened me about this and I still let Matthew go,” Hao countered. “It should be me in that bed.”

Taerae gave him a look of disapproval. “Stop it, Hao. I mean it. This is not your fault. We all knew the dangers. Matthew is not a child, he can make his own decisions. You didn’t make this decision for him. You cannot just take his agency away from him.”

A bitter taste filled Hao’s mouth. If he couldn’t blame himself for this, it would mean that it hadn’t been under his control. That what happened was out of his control. He didn’t know if he liked that feeling better than the guilt.

“Besides, we both know who is truly at fault here,” Taerae scoffed angrily. 

The hatred in his voice was obvious. Usually, Hao wouldn’t condone hate in any form, but in this moment, he felt the dark and ugly emotion poison his heart and his mind. It was a destructive emotion.

He closed his eyes and breathed a few times. This was not what they needed. Hate wouldn’t bring Matthew back. That was what counted. The only thing that mattered was Matthew’s life.

He squeezed Matthew’s hand, sadness overcoming him when he felt no pressure in return. 

“He will wake up,” he spoke into the room. “He has to.”

It was quiet. The sound of a chair scratching over the floor as Taerae scooted closer, until he could hold Hao’s other hand. 

“He will,” Taerae agreed. “He’s strong.”

Hao nodded, feeling new tears fill his eyes as he stared at Matthew’s lifeless face. 

“If not, I will kill him myself,” Taerae added, actually managing to make Hao laugh. It was a short one, shifting into a snivel as soon as it started. 

But for just a moment, Hao felt hope. Taerae was right. Matthew was strong. They couldn’t give up on him. 

 

The sun was burning through the windows when Hanbin and Jiwoong returned to the infirmary. The morning dew had transformed into midday heat. Taerae immediately got up to offer his chair back to Jiwoong. The guard didn’t hesitate to take a seat, shuffling close enough to hold Matthew’s hand. Hao wouldn’t have let go of it for anyone else, but for Jiwoong he did. 

He pulled his hands back into his lap. He inhaled deeply, before facing Hanbin. The alpha’s face looked conflicted as he looked at Matthew. Hao knew he was hurting, too. Matthew had been his friend far longer than he had been Hao’s. 

“Do you want to sit?” Hao offered him his seat, but Hanbin shook his head. 

“It’s fine,” Hanbin declined. 

Hao stood up anyway, gently pressing Hanbin down into the chair. Hanbin gave him a grateful look. 

Hao allowed him a moment with his friend before he had to ask. Hanbin’s gaze roamed to Matthew’s face, eyes filled with sorrow. It must’ve been hard for him, leaving his friend in this condition. Yet he still had, because Hao had asked him to. 

Hao gently put his hand on his thigh. There was no need to postpone this any longer.

“Did you find Prince Ricky?” Hao inquired softly.

He hoped, prayed, that there wasn't any further bad news. It was a selfish thought, but Hao just couldn’t take any more catastrophe for the day.

“Yes,” Hanbin told him. “It wasn’t easy getting into the royal quarters. They were busy preparing the princess’ birthday dinner. Only invited people could enter.”

Hao knew it was never an easy task to search for Ricky. After all, he was a prince, the nephew of the Queen, and that came with certain hurdles hindering people to approach him. 

“I bribed a servant to let us in,” Hanbin continued. “It was hard to find him with all these people bustling around. But I finally spotted him with the Prince from the Northern Empire.”

Relief filled Hao. Ricky and Gyuvin were unharmed. Hanbin had seen them with his own eyes.

“Did you speak to them?” Hao asked, eager to find out more.

“Not much. I wasn’t really sure what you wanted me to say,” Hanbin answered, giving Hao a curious look. “I only managed to tell him that Zhang Hao sent me before I was asked to leave.”

Hao averted his gaze. Hanbin must have so many questions. Questions that Hao just couldn’t answer without putting him in danger. Even just sending Hanbin to speak to Ricky was a risk. Now that he knew that Lord Yoon had his eyes on his every move, he needed to think over his every step. 

“Thank you,” he still said, looking down at his hands. “Thank you, truly. You didn’t have to do this for me, but you did. I cannot express my gratitude enough.”

He lifted his gaze to look at Hanbin’s face. There were a million question marks written all over it. Apparently, Hanbin didn’t have the strength to give his voice to any of them today. 

He simply sighed, leaning back in his chair. 

Hao knew this wasn’t the last time Hanbin would ask questions. 

For now, though, they were all too tired to worry their heads about anything but Matthew. 

 

A few days passed. Every morning, Hao’s first path led him to the infirmary. He sat by Matthew’s bedside for hours, talking to him. Nobody knew if Matthew was even hearing what they said, but Hao thought his friend would appreciate the conversation if he did. He had always hated boredom. The least Hao could offer him for his sacrifice was a little gossip, even if he barely had any of it. 

Every day without fail, Jiwoong joined him in the evening. Hao never asked if Jiwoong stayed the entire night, but somehow he knew the answer. Every day, Jiwoong's expression became a little more solemn. Hao tried to encourage him, but it was hard. It seemed like the light inside of Jiwoong had permanently dimmed. 

Taerae told him over and over again that this wasn’t his fault, but it was hard to believe when he was faced with Jiwoong’s sad eyes every day.

Most days, Hanbin came by directly at noon. He brought him food and held his hand. They didn’t talk about anything important. It seemed like they agreed that as long as Matthew was on the edge, they didn’t have the strength to argue. Hao was grateful for it. He still didn’t know what to tell Hanbin. 

He knew it was safest to try and break up the courting, but by now he had accepted that he wasn’t strong enough to do so. He wondered if Hanbin would be fine with not knowing. It seemed like Hanbin was still burning to ask him, only holding himself back because he knew how vulnerable Hao was.

One day, even Ricky and Gyuvin paid a secret visit to the infirmary. Luckily, they came at a time where it was only Hao and Taerae there. Otherwise Hao wasn’t sure if he could have avoided the questions any longer. 

They couldn’t hold a proper meeting, not in an open space like this and with one of their members unable to participate. They all agreed to put The Rose Project on hold for the time being. There was nothing they could do as long as Matthew was fighting death. 

 

It was now a week after the accident. The healer had told him once a week had passed without any improvement, hopes were slim for recovery. But Hao didn’t want to think about that. 

Just like every other morning, he took his seat at Matthew’s side. He swore he could still smell the scent of mint lingering in the air. Jiwoong must’ve left not long ago. It comforted Hao that his friend hadn’t been alone at night.

“Hey, it’s me again,” Hao said, taking Matthew’s hand. “I hope you’re not growing tired of me already. I know I’m not the best gossip.”

He let out a sad laugh, caressing over the back of Matthew’s hand. 

“I’ve heard someone got caught gambling down in the kitchens. No, I think it was just a bet. I think it was over tomatoes. Honestly, it didn’t make much sense to me,” Hao mumbled. He had tried to pick up some gossip on his way here, but he never really managed to get the gist of it. “Oh, and Lady Song made her decision about whose courtship she will entertain and which one’s she will end. I think she picked Lord Im. Or was it Lady Lee? No, I think she chose Lady Lee.”

Hao sighed. He couldn’t remember ever being this bad at something. 

“Anyway, I read the most riveting scripture last night. It discussed the ancient way of pack living before civilization,” Hao decided to talk about something he knew better. 

However, before he could truly get into it, a weird sensation shot through his fingers. It startled him. It almost felt like Matthew had squeezed his hand. 

Could it be?

“Matthew?” He asked, voice cracking. 

Had he imagined it? Had his desperation for Matthew to wake up make him delusional? 

No, there it was again! A faint squeeze! He was not hallucinating this!

A long groan fell from Matthew’s lips as he shuffled in his sheets. Hao’s heart pounded in his chest. He didn’t dare to breathe.

Slowly, Matthew’s eyes fell open. 

“Please, not another scripture,” Matthew told him, voice all hoarse from days of being unused. “I’d rather you go back to your bad gossiping.”

Hao jumped to his feet, body feeling like strung on a rope. 

“Matthew!” He exclaimed full of disbelief. “You’re awake.”

Matthew squinted his eyes at him, before coughing. “Seems like it.”

Hao wanted to cry. And dance around in joy. Was there such a thing? His emotions were all over the place.  

Tears overcame him. Before he knew it, he was sobbing at Matthew’s bedside, face hidden in his sheets. 

“Hey, hey, shhh, stop crying please,” Matthew mumbled, overwhelmed by his sudden display of emotions. 

But Hao couldn’t help it. The relief washing down his body was too big to be contained inside. Once all the tears had been cried, he sat up and took a deep breath in.

“I’m sorry,” Hao apologized, for everything really. 

Quickly, he reached for the glass of water by Matthew’s bedside, helping his friend to drink, who must be dying of thirst. Matthew accepted it gratefully, drinking the water with big gulps. When the glass was empty, he smacked his lip, looking a lot more lively already. 

Breathing felt a little easier again. The restrictions in Hao’s chest loosened. 

Hao carefully put the glass aside when Mathew was done. He didn’t know where to start. There was so much to say, so much on his mind these past few days. It was hard to put it all into words.

“I’m so sorry,” he just repeated again.

“It’s okay. Looked like you really needed that,” Matthew shrugged easily. 

Hao almost wanted to cry again. Matthew should be furious at him, but he was acting so non-chalant, as if he hadn’t just woken up after a week of being unconscious. 

“No, I meant for sending you out there. I should’ve never agreed to let you go on your own. You did this for me. It’s my fault you got hurt,” Hao spoke, voice wavering with the threat of breaking once more. “I would understand if you’d never wanted to see me again.”

Matthew let out a laugh of disbelief. 

“What are you talking about?” He questioned, eyebrows raised to his hairline. 

“You were attacked when you went to hide the flying papers. If you hadn’t done that, you would’ve been safe. None of this would’ve happened. I knew this was a possibility but I didn’t stop you,” Hao confessed guiltily. “I’m so sorry. The Rose Project has gotten too risky. I think it might be best-”

“Don’t say it,” Matthew interrupted him, voice all sharp and firm. 

Hao’s breath hitched. He wasn’t used to this tone from Matthew, who usually liked to tease him, not argue seriously.

“Let me get one thing clear,” Matthew said, with no trace of mischief left in his eyes. “I didn’t do this for you. I did this because I believe The Rose Project to be worth the fight. I did this for me and all omegas just like me. I didn’t do this because you asked me to, Hao. The Rose Project might be your legacy, but it impacts all of us.”

The words hit something deep inside Hao. He remained silent. 

“You cannot stop now. That would be giving up,” Matthew said decisively. 

“You could’ve died,” Hao countered, shaken with guilt. “You could’ve died because of this.”

“But I didn’t,” Matthew argued. “I’m right here and I won’t give up just because they try to scare us.”

They stared at each other. It was clear that Matthew was convinced about this. 

“They silenced your father, Hao. It took over ten years for us to raise our voices again about this. If we don’t do it now, nobody else will. And this change needs to happen,” Matthew said. “I’m not going to let them take my voice.”

In his head, Hao knew that Matthew was right. They all knew that the injustice against omegas in their kingdom was old-fashioned and in dire need of being addressed on a big scale. His heart, however, couldn’t live with the fact that getting into this fight might mean losing some of his friends to it. 

“Zhang Hao,” Matthew called his name firmly. “You cannot let fear rule you. You are too smart for that. And we need your voice. We cannot do it without you.”

It’s been a while since Hao truly believed that he had a voice that mattered. But he had to admit, working on The Rose Project, he had felt a sense of purpose that he had missed nearly all his life. At this moment, he might not feel very powerful, but he still had his voice. 

He would always have his voice, even if that was the last thing he owned. They could take everything away, but his voice would still be his.

“Think about it,” Matthew said. “If they went as far as attacking me, some random servant that they think has no power in the first place, they must be really afraid of what we have to say.”

Hao hadn’t even considered that perspective. It gave him a new surge of strength. If Lord Yoon went as far as hurting a servant and stealing his papers, he must truly believe that The Rose Project could have a real impact should it be revealed to the public. 

Hao gave Matthew a tough smile. “I said we’d make some trouble.”

Matthew returned his smile. The twinkle in his eyes was back. “Fortunately, I like trouble.”

A shaky breath left Hao. It felt good to have his friend back. He reached for his hand, relishing in its warmth. He had always known that Matthew was strong, but now he had proven that he could survive anything. 

“Fine,” he decided, letting Matthew’s stubbornness convince him. “We won’t stop. You’re right. We can’t stop now.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” Matthew grinned, satisfied. “Didn’t want to get knocked out for nothing. So, when are we going to let the papers fly then?”

Hao’s heart dropped. Of course, Matthew didn’t know. 

“Matthew, whoever hurt you, they took the papers. They weren’t with you when Jiwoong found you,” Hao muttered. He hoped Matthew wouldn’t blame himself for this. It was not his fault the papers had been stolen.

His friend looked devastated. “So you’re saying Lord Yoon is now in possession of months of your hard work?”

“That’s…that’s what we suspect, yes,” Hao confirmed with a heavy heart. 

Matthew sighed deeply, the news clearly not alleviating his stress. “Well, that’s not good.”

“It can’t be helped. The only thing important is that you are well now. Papers can be replaced, you cannot,” Hao told him earnestly.

Matthew playfully rolled his eyes, but he was smiling all the same. “Sappy.”

Hao giggled, glad to see that Matthew was already back to being his old self. 

“So, you didn’t see anyone when it happened?” Hao asked him, curious if Matthew remembered anything about his ambush. 

“No, it was dark. I heard steps behind me, so I tried to run, but they were faster than me. Something hit me in the back of my head and then everything went black,” Matthew recounted his memories. “What are they saying happened to me?”

Hao exhaled. “A chandelier crushed you. We believe Lord Yoon made it look like an accident.”

Matthew snorted. “Of course.”

“I’m sorry. You deserve justice,” Hao said, relating to Matthew’s frustration. 

“It’s no use. Nobody would believe me. I was an omega out alone at night. I wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place,” Matthew pointed out. 

Hao hated how rational he sounded, like that was just the way things worked. 

“If you want to go into this fight, I will support you,” Hao told him. “You matter. You deserve justice.”

Matthew looked at him for a long time, like he saw Hao in a new light. He supposed not many people in his life had been ready to risk so much for him, a mere servant. Hao would, without a second of hesitation.

“Thank you,” he said simply. “But I think I want to focus my energy on The Rose Project. If we get people to listen to that, someone else in my situation might finally get justice in the future.”

Hao squeezed Matthew’s hand in consolidation. “If that’s what you decide,” Hao said. “But first you’ll need all your energy to focus on your recovery.”

Matthew groaned. “Don’t worry about that. Once I get some food inside of me, I’ll be out of this bed in no time.”

Hao laughed. “Sure. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you can barely sit up.”

“Just minor things,” Matthew waved him off. “I’ll be back to my normal self in a few days tops.”

Somehow, Hao could believe that. Matthew was strong. If someone could force his body into recovering faster by sheer willpower, it would be him.

A comfortable silence settled between them. Hao was about to inform a healer about Matthew’s state of wakefulness and get him that food, when Matthew held him back by his sleeve.

Matthew turned his head away, coughing a little.

“So…Jiwoong found me?” Matthew asked, a sheepish expression on his face. 

It was rare to see Matthew coy, so Hao let himself enjoy the sight of the hint of pink rising in Matthew’s cheeks.

“He visits you every day,” Hao told him fondly. 

Matthew let out a breath. “I know.”

Hao gave him a curious look. 

“I could hear him talking to me. It’s all a bit blurry, but I felt when he was here,” Matthew admitted shyly. Then he threw Hao a pointed look. “You, too. Your gossip is really terrible, by the way.”

After a moment of perplexion, Hao laughed. He knew Matthew was only teasing him because he was feeling flustered. 

“Well, what did Jiwoong tell you then?” Hao asked him, not letting Matthew off that easily. It was only fair, since he endured his fair share of teasing on Matthew’s behalf as well.

Matthew’s cheeks tinted an even darker shade of red. “I…I don’t really remember,” he muttered, but Hao wasn’t sure if he believed that. However, after everything, he allowed Matthew this much privacy. 

“He really cares about you,” Hao told him. 

“I care for him, too,” Matthew admitted. “But I already told you it won’t work. Our futures are not compatible. Jiwoong’s duty is to the castle.”

Hao remembered how Matthew had once told him that before. He hated that his friend denied himself this future, this love.

“You know, I don’t think Jiwoong cares a lot about where his future lies as long as you are there with him.”

Matthew turned his head to look at him. “I-”

“You should talk to him. He will be here in a few hours,” Hao told him. He could practically hear the heart of his friend beating in his chest. He knew that feeling. The possibility of love could sometimes be as nerve-wrecking as the real thing.

“What if it won’t work out? What if I let this happen only to lose him in the end?” Matthew asked him.

Hao’s heart clenched. He sympathized with Matthew’s fear. 

“You need to have faith in him and in you,” Hao said. “You’ll feel it if it’s meant to be.”

“Really?” Matthew asked. 

“It’s how I feel when I look at Hanbin,” he told him honestly. “Like there is no universe in which we are not together.”

Matthew looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he smirked. “Wow, and I always thought Hanbin was bad. But it seems like he truly found his match.”

Hao made a flustered noise. He tore himself from Matthew’s side before more teasing could occur. 

“I think it’s time for me to get the healer. She needs to make sure you’ll recover just fine,” Hao said, standing up. 

Matthew cackled. “Don’t forget to ask for food for me!”

His face might feel on fire, but Hao wouldn’t have it any other way. The only thing that counted was that Matthew was awake and alive. Everything else he could live with. 

 

The news of Matthew’s recovery spread like wildfire among their friends. Taerae showed up with music sheets jammed underneath his armpit, seemingly having left practice early. Hanbin and Jiwoong arrived together, apparently also having abandoned their duties as they were still dressed in their work attire. 

Matthew looked a bit flustered by Jiwoong’s presence. Hao assumed he remembered a little more about Jiwoong’s words than he had let on. He diverted the attention quickly to Hanbin, who had brought an assortment of Matthew’s favorite pastries. 

It was a joyful day, the first one in what felt like an eternity. Despite not being able to move much on his own, muscles weakened by days of being unused, Matthew laughed and talked along with them, eager to catch up on what he had missed. Hanbin’s parents also sent a bouquet of flowers that another servant brought in the afternoon. It felt like an entire village had hoped for Matthew’s health to improve.

They all stayed late into the night. Only when the healer urged them to get going, insisting that Matthew needed rest now more than anything else, did they get up. 

Jiwoong seemed more reluctant than the rest of them. He hovered by Matthew’s bedside, fiddling with his sheets as if to buy himself more time. 

Hao threw Matthew an encouraging look. His friend blushed, but Matthew had never been short of bravery. 

“Jiwoong, could you stay a little longer? I wanted to talk to you about something,” Matthew raised his voice. 

Jiwoong’s entire face lit up. “Yes. Of course!”

“Will you walk us back to the scholar’s quarters?” Hao asked Hanbin, who eyed his friends curiously. 

Immediately, Hanbin’s attention was back on him. “Yes. It’s late. We should get some sleep.”

He linked his arm with Hao’s and waited for Taerae to join their side. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Hao bid Matthew his goodbye. 

Taerae gave him a swift hug and then they let Hanbin lead them out of the infirmary.

When Hao went to bed that night, he couldn’t help but feel a little more optimistic about everything. 

 

Matthew had been right when he had boasted about having a speedy recovery. Within the next couple of days, he wasn’t only able to sit up, but he was able to walk around the infirmary. The healers still kept him for further observation, but it looked like Matthew had survived the injury without any lasting effects. Matthew’s lifted spirits rubbed off on all of them. 

When Ricky and Gyuvin showed up to see Matthew in the early morning hours, they had a spontaneous emergency meeting for The Rose Project. They had to speak in codes in case any of the healers should overhear them, but it was obvious that all of them wanted to continue. Ricky was already thinking about different occasions for when they could spread the flying papers and Taerae said he would help Hao out writing the papers. 

The shock was still sitting heavy in their bones, but seeing Matthew act so headstrong about his injuries, they all gained a new sense of determination. It was like the incident had only brought them closer together, more focused than before.

As long as Matthew was still bound to the infirmary, Hao decided to move his work there as well. He always brought some library records for Matthew, who was keen on helping out. Hao spent most of his time trying to come up with the content of the letters to Min Rei and Park Gunhee they had yet to send. He bounced his ideas back off Matthew, who was brutal with his criticism, telling when Hao was putting things too directly or too cryptically. 

But it wasn’t only The Rose Project that kept Matthew’s mood lifted. Jiwoong kept up with his frequent visits. Whenever he showed up, Matthew was very keen on getting Hao to leave. Apparently, the two of them had many things to say to each other in private. 

He really hoped things would work out for them. In his mind, there were no other two people who deserved a happy ending more. 

 

It was a week since Matthew had woken up. Today, Hao had made some actual progress with the letters, Matthew approving of all his sentences. He was about to read them to him from the top one last time, when they were interrupted by the arrival of Jiwoong. 

Quickly, Hao hid the letters in the pockets of his robes. It was better he didn’t get to see them. He collected the records as well, pressing them against his chest so Jiwoong couldn’t read the titles. However, his worries were not needed. All Jiwoong could look at was Matthew. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Hao bid his friend goodbye, who was absentmindedly waving him away, already making room for Jiwoong to sit down at his bedside. 

Hao smiled fondly, taking that as his cue to leave. 

He stood up and turned to leave, only to walk straight into a chest. 

He startled, not having noticed the other person coming to see Matthew. It seemed like Jiwoong hadn’t come alone. 

Hanbin was steadying him by holding onto his waist, chuckling at his clumsiness. 

“Hanbin!” Hao exclaimed, surprised, pulling out of his hold. “I didn’t even see you there. I was about to leave, are you here to see Matthew?”

It wasn’t unusual for Hanbin to step by to pay Matthew a visit. Mostly, he came during his lunch break to keep them company, though, so Hao hadn’t expected him. It was an unwritten rule that evenings were reserved for Matthew and Jiwoong.  

Hanbin’s features were gentle, they always were when he looked at Hao, but he couldn’t help but notice the worry lines on his forehead. 

“No, I…I was coming to see you,” Hanbin told him, nodding his head towards the exit. “Let’s go?”

Something in Hanbin’s eyes made Hao feel unsettled. It wasn’t like Hanbin and him had been on bad terms the past few days. But the conversation they had before Taerae had interrupted them with the news of Matthew’s injury had been left unfinished, lingering between them.

“Oh, okay,” Hao agreed, letting Hanbin take his hand and pull him away. 

Their friends didn’t even seem to notice them leaving, too wrapped up in the presence of each other. 

 

Hanbin didn’t head to the scholar’s quarters, instead leading them outside to the Queen’s gardens. 

It was still warm, although summer was now nearing its end. They passed by the small ponds, turning towards the rose gardens. 

“How are you these days?” Hanbin opened the conversation as they navigated through the fields of Yarrow. 

Hao nervously chewed on his lips. He knew Hanbin deserved answers, but he wasn’t sure what to tell him. 

“I’m good. Just very relieved Matthew is getting better so fast,” Hao replied honestly.

“Yes, it was a shock to all of us,” Hanbin agreed. “Matthew’s been a dear friend to me for ages. It was…shocking to see him injured.”

Hao swallowed. By the tone of Hanbin’s voice he could guess that he suspected Hao to know more about the background of Matthew’s accident. 

“Shocking,” Hao hummed in agreement. 

It seemed like Hanbin had beaten around the bush enough. He had never been good at not addressing what was on his mind directly, always open and forward with his opinions. It was what Hao liked about him. There was no guessing with Hanbin. He always told you honestly what he was thinking.

“Yet, I couldn’t help but think that you had expected something like this to happen,” Hanbin continued, giving Hao a curious look. 

“I-” Hao started, before stopping himself. He didn’t want to lie. “What makes you think that?”

Hanbin let out a deep breath. “Hao, please, I’m being honest with you here,” he said, sounding drained. “You tell me about the will and that someone might try to hurt you or me. But you still sneak around at night. And a few days later, Matthew is laying unconscious in a bed in the infirmary. Matthew, who is not even connected to the will or your inheritance! You sent me out to inform Prince Ricky and Prince Gyuvin of Matthew’s injury, who I’ve never seen you talk to before. Do you really expect me not to ask questions?”

Put like this, no, Hao couldn’t really expect Hanbin not to ask questions. Despite his best efforts to keep Hanbin away from The Rose Project, he had become entangled with it. 

An image flashed through Hao’s mind. This time, it was Hanbin laying in a bed, injured, with blood all over his body and face. It was a horrifying image. He shivered. No, he couldn’t let this happen. He turned his head away, staring at his feet.

Hanbin made a frustrated noise. “Hao, please, I don’t know why you cannot just tell me?”

“It’s not safe,” Hao told him, as he had done so often in the past. “If you’d know more, you’d be in danger.”

Hanbin didn’t look placitated at all by that answer. “So you are doing something? Something dangerous? That’s why Matthew got injured?”

Hao remained quiet. There was nothing he could say to satisfy Hanbin.

“Why?” Hanbin continued asking anyway.

Hao inhaled. “Because,” he said. “Some things are worth the risk. Some things are more important than safety.”

Hanbin stopped walking, in turn making Hao halt as well. They stood next to each other in silence. Then Hanbin stepped in front of him.

“I can understand that. I can understand that some things are worth the fight. But I cannot help but picture you in Matthew’s stead, Hao. I don’t think anything on this earth would be worth it to risk you getting hurt,” Hanbin said, looking straight into his eyes. 

“It is to me,” Hao remained firm.

Hanbin huffed, frustrated. There seemed to be many things on his mind, expression shifting every second. In a way, Hao could relate to him.

Hanbin reached for his hands. There was a desperation in his eyes that made Hao’s breath hitch. “But does it have to be you?”

The question made Hao’s thoughts stutter. It was a valid question. Did it have to be Hao risking all these things? If Hanbin suffered so much just thinking about the possibility of Hao getting hurt, couldn’t he just leave The Rose Project behind for him? Wouldn't that be the safest for both of them? Couldn’t someone else lead The Rose Project to success?

“No, it doesn’t have to be me,” Hao gave in, before returning Hanbin’s stare fiercely. “But I want it to be me.”

“Hao-”

“Hanbin, this is my legacy. My birthright. I need to do this,” Hao didn’t let him come to word. This was something he felt strongly about. He never knew what his purpose was, all his life wandering around, lost. But this…this was it . “You once told me we make our own legacies. This is mine.”

Hanbin opened and closed his mouth multiple times. The concern in his eyes slowly vanished, replaced with a newfound determination. He took a deep breath, as if coming to terms with something.

“Okay,” he said simply, before stepping closer to Hao. “But then I want in. I want to know everything and I want to be part of it. Whatever it is you are doing, if it’s worth the risk to you, it is worth the risk to me.”

There was a fire burning in Hanbin’s eyes. It was the sort of passion Hao felt himself when he worked on The Rose Project. Hanbin never said what he didn’t mean. 

“Are you sure?” He asked him one more time, just to be sure. “Once you know, you cannot unknow. It could make you lose everything.”

“I am sure,” Hanbin confirmed for him, with no ounce of doubt in his voice. 

Hao’s heart wavered. All this time, he had wanted to keep Hanbin safe by excluding him from this part of his life. But at this point, he questioned his own actions. Hanbin was a grown man, a good man - and he knew too much already. Hao knew, if he told Hanbin to back off, he would, but he also knew that Hanbin would never stop worrying then. 

He valued their relationship too much to forbid Hanbin from what Hao was doing. If Hanbin would keep something like this from him, even if it was for his safety, Hao would feel furious. Hanbin had shown him more patience than Hao had expected him to. He stayed by his side through it all. 

He did not want to be the person forbidding people to do what’s right and stand up for what they believe in.

He wanted to give his all to Hanbin and that included The Rose Project. 

It wasn’t like the fear had disappeared. No, it was still there, looming in the corner of his mind. But he felt strongly that Hanbin and him were better together than apart. He couldn’t let fear rule him. 

It was time to be courageous. It was time to tell Hanbin everything. 

Notes:

ahhh of course ao3 had to be down the one time i end a chapter on a cliffhanger and want to update the new chapter sooner huhu so sorry for the delay :(

anyway, haha, of course i couldn't kill matthew!! it would break my heart, so i hope you can sleep peacefully now :D
and hanbin finally joining the rose project hehe i feel like we've been all waiting for this :3

anyway, let me know what you think down below!! i love to chat with you :33

thank you for reading <3

Chapter 22: Iris

Summary:

Iris. In Greek mythology representing the concept of linking and connecting two separate entities; also a symbol of recovery, associated with the idea of resilience and strength

Notes:

welcome back and hello to everyone newly joined!! :3
hope you like this chapter :D

It was late when Hao brought Hanbin down to his father’s study, but the alpha didn’t complain once. Not about the time of way, not about all the detours Hao took to make sure they wouldn’t be seen. The curiosity in his eyes only seemed to grow with every step they took. 

The hallway was empty and Hao made a quick process of unlocking his father’s study, not wanting Hanbin to be spotted with him here by the wrong pairs of eyes. He shut the door and turned the key in its lock, making sure nobody could disturb them in the foreseeable future. 

As Hanbin had done so often in the past, when they had come here to discuss scriptures, he took a seat on the windowsill. Then he watched Hao with quiet expectation. 

Hao moved with caution. Hanbin’s eyes widened when he got to his knees, revealing the loose wooden plank and what was hidden underneath. The original scriptures of his father looked just like when he had first found them. The papers were slightly yellow, years of dust turning single spots brownish. The corners were crooked and a few pages had small rips. They were a witness of time. 

However, the outer appearance of The Rose Project didn’t affect any of its content. And its content was still of the same importance as when it had first been written. 

Hao carefully lifted the Rose Project out of its secret hiding spot. His hands remained surprisingly steady. He exhaled, before looking at Hanbin. 

“You need to know, what I’m about to tell you might count as treason,” Hao warned him. “Reading this might cost you your title. Or even worse.”

Hanbin didn’t look afraid like one might expect someone to react to such news. No, his intrigue only seemed to have increased. 

“I understand,” Hanbin told him without any doubt in his voice. “Your secret is safe with me.”

A part of Hao had hoped for Hanbin to reconsider, to get scared and be happy staying in the safety that was ignorance. But of course, Hanbin couldn’t be frightened with the notion of losing his title. He had never cared for such things. No, just like Hao, Hanbin had always been enticed by the search for knowledge, not by the search for power. Maybe that’s what had drawn them to each other in the first place.

He closed the distance between them and handed The Rose Project over. 

With reverence Hanbin caressed over the title page. His lips soundlessly formed the words “The Rose Project.”

He raised his gaze, looking at Hao curiously. 

“My father left this for me. It was the last work he wrote before he died,” Hao answered his silent question. “We believe it is the reason why he was murdered.”

Hanbin’s pupils widened in shock. “Murdered?” He whispered. 

“Yes,” Hao confirmed, hoping he sounded firm. Every time he spoke the words aloud, they got a little more real, but not less mortifying. 

“Who would-?”

“We suspect the Yoon family. They’ve been very hostile towards me. My mother also doesn’t speak kindly of them. They are known to be a powerful traditional family,” Hao said before Hanbin could even finish asking. “Of course, we have no proof. It’s been ten years."

“Oh, Hao-” Hanbin’s eyes were full of compassion, like his heart had been broken just like Hao’s had been when he had first found out. 

Back then, Hanbin had found him lying in the mud underneath the stars, trying to find his purpose in this ever confusing world. Back then, Hanbin had simply laid down back to them and told him that his future was up to him. Hao still remembered his words to this day. It had been when he had first fallen for Hanbin.

“I’m so sorry,” Hanbin said.

Hao took a deep breath in. He needed to stay in the present for this.

“The Rose Project was bequeathed to me by my father. It’s all about omega rights and the injustice our kind experiences at the hands of powerful alphas and ancient rules. It’s aimed at changing laws and challenging those in power. It's a harsh criticism of the people in charge. It’s…trouble,” Hao continued talking, otherwise he would crumble apart before he could tell Hanbin everything. “If you want to join, you should read it. All of it.”

“I will,” Hanbin said without hesitation.

“Taerae, Matthew, Ricky, Gyuvin and I, we’ve been working on this together. We wanted to spread word about The Rose Project,” Hao told him. “But before we could act out our plan, Matthew was injured.”

The memory of the morning still sent a chill down Hao’s spine. They had been really lucky.

“So Matthew’s injury wasn’t an accident,” Hanbin concluded on his own. 

“No, it wasn’t,” Hao confirmed, breath trembling. “Anyone who works with me might suffer a similar fate. I believe Lord Yoon or someone close to him has been watching me. He keeps his eyes on who I associate with. And now he knows about The Rose Project. He knows what we’re fighting for.”

He bit down on his lip. His chest was shaking from his unsteady breathing. 

“Hanbin, by telling you all this, I just put you in immense danger. I’m really sorry.”

“Hey, no, don’t,” Hanbin was up on his feet, putting The Rose Project down as he engulfed Hao in his arms. “I’ve been in danger all along, willingly. I choose this. I wanted in. I’ve told you before, it’s only ever been you for me. Nothing could keep me away.”

“I just feel like everything I do and am puts everyone I hold dear in my heart in danger,” Hao said, letting himself sink further into Hanbin’s arms. It felt good to be held with all his crippling doubts haunting him like ghosts. 

“You said it yourself. Some things are worth the risk. And this is worth it,” Hanbin told him, full of conviction. “And I don’t just say that because you believe it to be worth it. I truly believe in this, too.”

“You haven’t even read it yet,” Hao mumbled quietly. Of course, he knew Hanbin, he had suspected his beliefs to align with those of The Rose Project. But it was reassuring to hear it out loud.

“That doesn’t mean I haven’t noticed the injustice before. I might be an alpha, so I’m not affected by any of it, but I know society isn’t fair in how it treats you,” Hanbin said, pulling away so he could look into Hao’s eyes. “And you are right to speak up about it. This is not treason. It’s the opposite. This is justice. And it will be my honor to raise my voice by your side if that’s what you want.”

Of course, Hanbin always found the right words, no matter the situation. He had found them back then, in the mud under the star and he found them now. That’s what made Hao fall deeper and deeper each time. 

“There is something else,” Hao said, letting go of Hanbin’s embrace but holding on to his hands. “Something you might be able to help us with.”

He had considered consulting Hanbin about this before, but Hanbin hadn’t known about The Rose Project then, so it had never truly been an option. Now, however, Hanbin could hold the key to some of the answers they were looking for.

Hanbin perked up, always ready to help. “What is it?” 

“There was a list of names we suspect knew about The Rose Project back when my father had been first working on it. I think they might know something about his death, so we’ve been trying to find them,” Hao gave Hanbin the summary of their past months of work. “One name on the list was Park Gunhee. She-”

“She owns the flower fields in the south,” Hanbin finished his sentence. Just like Hao had guessed, Hanbin knew her name. After all, he had been purchasing flowers from her for months and he had been an ambassador of the trade for years. 

“Yes. I want to write her a letter and if she accepts, I want to speak with her personally,” Hao said, happy that Hanbin was catching on so fast. 

“I could take you. I’ve been to the flower fields before. I haven’t spoken to her personally, but we’ve been in correspondence,” Hanbin immediately offered. 

Hao smiled. As always, Hanbin wasn’t shy to share his kindness. “Thank you. But let's first wait to hear if she even wants to see me. If I’m right, she might have reasons to be afraid to associate with the Zhang name again.”

“Whatever you decide is best,” Hanbin agreed right away. “I’ll support you no matter what. Just let me know.”

Hao’s heart clenched with adoration. It was sweet how encouraging Hanbin was about this endeavor. Deep down, he knew Hanbin must be itching to keep him away from this, out of danger - Hao felt the same urge towards Hanbin. It meant a lot to him that Hanbin seemed content to follow Hao’s lead, trusting him to do what is right. 

“Thank you,” Hao said coyly. “I can never thank you enough. If I were you, I probably would’ve run from me ten times already. I know this is a lot and probably not what you imagined it would be like to court an omega. I know I bring a lot of trouble with me.”

Hanbin gave him a stern frown. “Hao, this is no trouble,” he told him and Hao almost laughed at the blatant lie. “The more I learn about you, the more you fascinate me. I knew you were extraordinary when I first met you, Hao, but this…you amaze me.”

Of course, Hao told Hanbin that he was secretly leading a rebellion and Hanbin told him that he was amazing. If he hadn’t heard it with his own ears, he wouldn’t have believed it. Hanbin was truly one of a kind. He couldn’t believe they found each other - but maybe that had always been inevitable. Like a red string of fate was pulling them towards each other, destined to meet in every universe.

“You are the amazing one,” Hao mumbled, flustered. 

Hanbin laughed and shook his head. “No, I’m really not,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind Hao’s hair. Then he put his hand on his cheek, caressing his skin gently. 

Hao’s breath stuttered. Maybe they just had to disagree on this one. Because in Hao’s mind, Hanbin was his favorite person. The one who followed his dreams no matter what path had been prewritten for him. The one he could look at and feel right at home. The one who offered him safety in a world of dangers. The one who had waited for him an entire lifetime.

Hao found that to be pretty amazing. 

Hanbin leaned in, his lips grazing Hao’s in the softest way possible. Like the hint of a feather. It made Hao’s heart jump out of his chest in affection. Overwhelmed with fondness, Hao clutched his fingers into Hanbin’s shirt, needing to hold on to something to ground him. He feared he would float away otherwise.

Hanbin was smiling at him tenderly when he pulled away. He brushed over Hao’s cheek with his thumb, before letting go. Hao let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

“It’s late now,” Hanbin told him, as if he hadn’t just made time stop for Hao. 

Smoothly, he copied Hao’s earlier movements, hiding The Rose Project back where it belonged, safe underneath the ground. 

“And I’ll have some reading to do in the morning,” Hanbin added, holding his hand out for Hao to take. “Let me walk you to your room so we can both get some rest before the sun rises.”

Hao blinked, watching Hanbin with quiet awe. Sometimes, he couldn’t believe he was real.

“Yeah,” Hao breathed. “Yes, please. Thank you.”

Hanbin smirked, waiting for Hao to check if the hallway was deserted before they headed outside together. 

Hao’s heart kept racing until he reached his bed, and even then it didn’t calm down for a while. Was it possible to love a person so much it couldn’t be contained in a single heart? 

Despite the added weight on his shoulders of knowing that Hanbin was now in danger because of his involvement, there were actually many perks of having told him. 

First, Hao didn’t have to feel guilty for lying to him anymore. Whenever Hanbin picked him up from his room to go on an evening stroll, he could simply be honest about how he had spent his day. 

Second, all his friends had been very supportive about Hanbin’s involvement. Matthew, of course, had befriended Hanbin for many years, and knew he could only be an asset to them. Taerae also knew of his great character and that way it was easy to convince Ricky and Gyuvin to trust him as well. 

Third, together with Hanbin, they gained another alley for The Rose Project. Apparently, Matthew and Jiwoong had talked about a lot more than just their relationship. Hao couldn’t be too mad about that, after all he had also told Hanbin without consulting the others. Besides, there were no secrets between Hanbin and his guard and it wasn’t like Jiwoong hadn’t been suspecting them anyway. 

Lastly, now that Hanbin knew and had read The Rose Project, Hao could discuss its content with him. He had always loved picking Hanbin’s brain about these issues. It reminded them of how they had first gotten reacquainted with each other, spending minutes or hours speaking over whatever Hao had chosen from the library that day.

Hanbin, despite having no scholar background, had always had a bright mind. Combined with his great kindness and compassion, Hanbin made a strong advocate for all matters of equality and reform. 

Yes, there were many bonuses to having Hanbin on their side. 

 

Nearly three weeks after Matthew’s been brought to infirmary, he was healed enough to return to his own quarters. He was supposed to rest for two more weeks, but could do so without constant supervision. Luckily, the Sung family was very accommodating, allowing Matthew as much time as he needed to rest before he returned to his duties. 

Both Hao and Taerae showed up to the infirmary the day of his discharge, happy to help him move the few things that had accumulated here over the time of his stay. 

Hao was folding a pair of pants as Matthew sat on his bed, overseeing the process and swinging his legs with restless energy. He had been eager to leave for days. Hao could understand, he had also always been a wanderer. 

“Hey Matthew, what’s this?” Taerae asked from the other side of the bed, where he had been cleaning out the little nightstand. 

A dark leather bracelet was dangling from his fingers. Before Hao could get a proper look at it, Matthew had already leaned over and snatched it out of Taerae’s grasp. 

“Nothing!” He answered far too quickly to convince them. His ears turned suspiciously red. 

Taerae threw him a glance, a smirk sneaking onto his face. 

“I didn’t know you wore jewelry like that,” he commented. “Where did you get it from?”

“Nowhere!” Matthew insisted, clutching the bracelet to his chest. 

“So it just magically appeared in your drawer?” Taerae pried, voice dripping with irony. 

Matthew huffed. “Maybe it did! So what?”

Taerae snickered to himself. Hao put the pair of pants he had been folding neatly aside. 

“Can I see?” He asked carefully. 

Matthew looked reluctant, but when Hao pouted, he relented. He handed the leather bracelet over. 

It was sturdy, clearly crafted with skill and care. There were intricate patterns pressed into it. A smile crept on Hao’s face when he spotted the initial KJ on the inside. It looked just like the golden bracelet he was wearing on his own wrist, the one Hanbin had given him at the start of the courting season. Just a simpler, more robust version of it. 

“It’s very beautiful,” Hao told him, giving it back. “Suits you.”

“How lucky it just appeared out of thin air for you,” Taerae said, barely hiding his amusement. 

Matthew groaned. “Okay, fine. Jiwoong gave it to me. Happy?”

“Depends. Are you?” Taerae returned the question.

That seemed to knock the wind out of Matthew for a moment. Hao watched his face carefully. A small smile appeared on his lips. 

“Yes. I think I am. I really am,” Matthew told them, voice incredibly tender. 

Hao’s heart warmed for his friend. 

“So, what does it mean? Is he courting you?” Taerae asked him, barely concealing his giddiness now. 

Matthew shook his head. “Neither of us are noble. We don’t participate in the courting season,” he reminded him. 

“But he gave you a bracelet with his initials on it,” Hao pointed out, holding his wrist up, his bracelet dangling from it. “That means something.”

“Well, yeah, Jiwoong’s a bit of a romantic. He wanted to give something to me,” Matthew said, uncharacteristically coy about all this.

“So he is courting you,” Taerae concluded. 

“We’re not noble, we don’t-”

“I know, I know,” Taerae intercepted before Matthew could deny it again. “But that doesn’t mean you cannot do your own kind of courtship. Not everything has to be traditional.”

“I agree. I think it’s sweet Jiwoong wants to court you like this,” Hao agreed. “You deserve it.”

Matthew fiddled with the bracelet, clearly flustered. “Well, he couldn’t afford a golden bracelet anyway. Besides, with my line of work, it would’ve been impractical and probably gotten dirty and broken right away.”

“Matthew,” Taerae spoke, giving  his friend a look. “Just enjoy it. This is a good thing. You can enjoy it.”

Hao smiled to himself. Not long ago, he had been the recipient of the exact same advice. Perhaps, just like him, Matthew had trouble accepting that he deserved good things, too. His life as a servant had probably made him believe that good things were unachievable in the first place and he should settle for the bare minimum. 

But just like everyone else, Matthew deserved to dream. More than that, he deserved to be loved.

“Okay,” Matthew breathed. “I will. I draw the line at a courting offer, though. That custom is just ridiculous. I don’t need any parents' involvement in this.”

“Well, that’s the good thing about not being part of the official courting season,” Taerae said with a painful grimace. “You get to pick and choose the traditions you want to participate in.”

Matthew immediately picked up on Taerae’s displeasure. “Is your mother still making you entertain alphas for tea?”

“We’re having a silent battle. But I won’t give in just for the sake of being courted,” Taerae sighed. 

Hao gave his friend a pitying look. “There is really no one you consider?”

He knew Taerae had plenty of options to choose from. He was beautiful, smart, witty, funny and had a wonderful voice.

“I’m not sure alphas are for me. I might just grow old by myself,” Taerae told them, trying to cover his pain with a humorous smile.

Hao felt his heart brittle. Of course, you couldn’t force love and there was nothing wrong with never choosing an alpha. But experiencing love with Hanbin made Hao want to share that kind of experience with his friend. 

“You won’t be alone,” Hao told him, full of conviction. “You’ll have us.”

This time, Taerae’s smile looked a lot more genuine. 

“Okay,” he cleared his throat. “I’m done with my part. How are you doing, Hao?”

Hao placed the last folded shirt on the small pile of clothes. “All done. We’re ready to go.”

“Thanks for helping me pack!” Matthew beamed at them, jumping to his feet. 

Taerae snorted. “Help? You did nothing but sit on your butt the whole time!”

“Hey, I’m still recovering!” Matthew defended himself, making both his friends chuckle. 

“Come on, lead the way before I make you carry all your own stuff,” Taerae instructed him. 

Apparently not wanting to take that risk, Matthew led the way outside. He waved the healers goodbye, before pushing the door wide open. 

 

It was a small trip from the infirmary wing to the noble quarters. As Matthew was housed by the Sung’s, they made their way down the hall, to the very end. Hao knew this path well by now. 

Neither Lord nor Lady Sung were home as Matthew unlocked the door. He showed them to his room, which had a similar layout to Hao’s, albeit being a bit smaller. A bouquet of Irises stood on the windowsill, probably courtesy of Lord and Lady Sung. Hao began sorting Matthew’s clothes back into his closet.

He stared at the door with worry. Like most doors in the castle, Matthew’s door didn’t have a separate lock. Not even Hao’s bedroom could be locked. Only noble people could request a separate key to their doors, as the royal family rarely gave out keys to their own property. 

So far, Hao hadn’t been too concerned about that. Why would anyone want to invade his room, when he owned nothing valuable in the first place? Now, however, the unguarded door seemed like a safety hazard. 

Lord Yoon, or whoever had hurt Matthew, might come back to follow through. Matthew being back in his own rooms also meant he was no longer in constant company of the healers, who would notice if anyone came to see him at night. 

His guts twisted with discomfort. 

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to return here?” Hao voiced his concern out loud. 

Matthew pouted. “You heard the healers! I’m all good to survive on my own! I’m not some fragile thing that can’t ever take care of himself again!”

Right away, Hao felt bad. He understood too well how trapped Matthew must feel. 

“I didn’t mean it that way. Just…you are not safe just because you recovered. Someone might try to hurt you again,” Hao told him, gnawing at his lips. 

Matthew’s upset expression softened a little. “I can’t hide forever. Besides, the door to the Sung quarter locks. And Lord and Lady Sung would hear if anyone would trespass. And Jiwoong’s room is right down the hall. Trust me, I’m probably more protected here than in the infirmary.”

Hao’s gaze flickered to the door again. Everything Matthew said was true, but still, after seeing Matthew injured once, it was hard to let his worries rest. 

Taerae laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be alright. Even Lord Yoon knows it would look suspicious if another accident happened to the same servant in such a short amount of time,” he told him. “Besides, haven't you heard him? Jiwoong is right down the hall.”

At the teasing tone in his voice, Hao couldn’t help but crack a smile. Matthew gasped, throwing a pillow at Taerae, who laughed and ducked away. 

“I’m sure if we ask him, Jiwoong would stand guard outside,” Taerae continued. This time, he couldn’t avoid the pillow, getting hit straight in his face. 

Hao laughed along, feeling his heart get a little lighter. Now that they knew what was at stake, what Lord Yoon was capable of, they would be more cautious. They were prepared now. 

Still, Hao wished there was something he could do about that door. 

Later that night, he met up with Hanbin for dinner again. They usually chose a secluded part of the dining hall to eat, so they could enjoy at least a semblance of privacy. Hanbin had arrived before him, standing up when he spotted Hao walk in. Instinctively, Hao began smiling, steps speeding up on his way, almost turning into cheerful skips.

“They served your favorite tonight,” Hanbin greeted him, pointing to the two bowls of steaming food. “So I already got you a serving.”

Hao’s smile widened even further. “Thank you.”

They sat down opposite each other. Hao always loved having dinner with Hanbin. It was the perfect way to end his day. Seeing Hanbin always calmed him down, no matter how turbulent his day had been. 

“How were your lessons?” Hao asked as he picked up his chopsticks. 

Hanbin had been scheduled for two private dance lessons today, as well as shadowing Lord Baek on a group lesson. Hao knew that Hanbin always enjoyed teaching both kinds, but he was keen to have Hanbin recount them anyway.

“Great fun, as always,” Hanbin smiled, that special sparkle in his eyes that had never been there when he had still been involved in the trade. “You remember that little boy I told you about? Haruto?”

“Yes,” Hao nodded, remembering that name from Hanbin’s retellings. 

“Today he asked me if I knew how to do a cartwheel. He said he learnt how to do it and if I couldn’t do better than him, he would ask his mother to find a better teacher,” Hanbin said, little giggles erupting between his words.

Hao joined his laughter. “So? Did you do it?”

“I had to!” Hanbin exclaimed. “My skills as a teacher were being questioned! I had to prove him wrong!”

“I’m not sure cartwheeling tells much about your skills as a dance teacher,” Hao chuckled, finding Hanbin’s reaction endearing. 

“Hey, if it instills trust in my student, I’m happy to do it,” Hanbin told him with a smile. 

Hao laughed again. “So, he didn’t request for your removal?” 

“Seems like my cartwheel skills are up to par,” Hanbin confirmed, only making Hao giggle more. 

It was just like Hanbin, a nobleman with a stellar reputation and honor to his name, to engage in a cartwheel competition with a young boy. 

“Anyway, enough about me,” Hanbin put his chopsticks down. He leaned on his elbows, propping his chin on his hands and focusing all his attention on Hao now. “How was your day?”

Even after all this time, Hao felt flustered under Hanbin’s tender gaze. He picked at his food, avoiding his eyes. 

“I worked a little in the morning. I’ve written two more papers, but I haven’t gotten a letter yet,” Hao told him, his words maybe cryptic to everyone else, but not to Hanbin. “Then Taerae and I helped Matthew move back into his rooms in the afternoon.”

Hanbin’s expression turned serious. He always got serious when Hao told him about his progress with The Rose Project, like he knew how important it was to Hao. 

“That’s good. And the letters will come,” Hanbin assured him.

Hao nodded. He hoped Hanbin was right. He had placed a lot of hope on Min Rei and Park Gunhee on solving his father’s murder case. Without them, they would be back to the drawing board again. 

“So, how’s Matthew doing then? I only saw him briefly yesterday,” Hanbin asked him. “I might visit him later, I wanted to step by my parent’s quarters anyway.”

“He’s happy to be back to his own rooms,” Hao replied, still relieved that Matthew had recovered so quickly. 

“Was he wearing the bracelet?” Hanbin asked him, making Hao perk up. 

“You know about the bracelet?” He questioned, surprised. Matthew had been very keen on keeping that private earlier, but then again, Hanbin was a close friend of his. 

“I was the one who told Jiwoong to make it for him,” Hanbin let him know. “Jiwoong said he gave it to him yesterday, but when I visited Matthew he wasn’t wearing it. I was afraid to ask about it. Maybe he didn’t like it?”

With Hanbin’s explanation, things started to make sense to Hao. Of course it was Hanbin who encouraged his friends to seek their happiness. It seemed like both of them had been working on the same cause without knowing it. They were like mirrors of each other.

“He loves it,” he assured Hanbin. “It was a good idea. I’ve never seen Matthew so flustered.”

Hanbin let out a relieved sigh, before smiling. “Yes, Matthew gets like that. He likes to tease other people, but he doesn’t know how to be on the other side of it.”

“It’s sweet to see him like this, though,” Hao said, truly meaning it. “I’m happy for them.”

“Me too,” Hanbin agreed. “You might not know this, but Jiwoong’s been in love with him for years.”

Hao smiled cheekily. “I did know. Jiwoong told me a while ago, but by the way he acted around him, I had already guessed.”

Hanbin leaned back in his chair, eyes twinkling with amazement. “Of course. Nothing ever slips past you, Zhang Hao. There is nothing you don’t know.”

From anyone else, it might’ve sounded mocking or exaggerated. But from Hanbin, Hao knew it was an earnest compliment. They still made him flustered. 

“There is a lot I don’t know,” Hao admitted, lowering his gaze. Creases formed on his forehead. “It worries me greatly.”

Hanbin frowned, leaning closer over the table as if wanting to chase all ofHao’s worries away. 

“What worries you?” He asked him, always extra attentive when the topic concerned Hao’s well-being. 

Hao sighed deeply. “Matthew’s safety. When I helped him back to his room, I noticed that his door doesn’t lock. I know, he’s safe within your parent’s quarters, but it still worries me,” Hao replied, honestly.

To his surprise, Hanbin didn’t seem to share his concern. Instead, he started smiling for some reason. 

“Zhang Hao, did you read my mind?” He asked playfully. 

It made Hao furrow his brows in confusion. “What?”

“I’ve been working on something,” Hanbin told him eagerly. He reached for his bag that he had placed underneath his table. “I wanted to give it to you.”

Hao watched bewildered as Hanbin got out a metallic construction. He placed it in the middle of the table. 

“What is that?” Hao asked him, just as puzzled as before.

“It’s a lock,” Hanbin explained to him, letting Hao take it in his hands.

Upon further inspection, it didn’t take Hao long to figure out how it worked. You installed it on the inside of your door, pushed the metal lever to the right and your door could no longer be open from outside. No key required. 

“You are amazing,” Hao breathed out. He lifted his gaze to beam at Hanbin. “Did you make this?”

Hanbin scratched his neck, a healthy flush on his cheeks now. “I found some construction plans in the library and asked a smith to make it for me.”

With reverence, Hao put the lock back down. Hanbin was right. They must’ve read each other’s thoughts. With anyone else but Hanbin, that might’ve been scary. But it was Hanbin. He trusted Hanbin with his every thought. He even trusted Hanbin with his heart.

“It was just, I noticed how your door doesn’t lock. Anybody could come in at night and try to hurt you. I couldn’t sleep thinking about it. I need to know you’re safe,” Hanbin told him, never shy to express his feelings. 

Hao’s heart fluttered wildly. Hearing Hanbin confess such things at times was still so overwhelming, making the world bloom a thousand different colors.

“Thank you,” he breathed. “You didn’t have to.” 

“Your protection matters most to me,” Hanbin stated, like it was a simple fact. “I will do whatever it takes.”

If they were in a less public place, Hao would’ve kissed him for that. Hanbin always managed to make him feel cared for and safe. Protected. Instead, he took Hanbin’s hands and squeezed them.

“Do you think you could make more of these? One for Matthew and one for Taerae as well? I’m pretty sure Ricky and Gyuvin already have locks at their doors,” Hao requested, hoping he wasn’t asking for too much. Hanbin was already so busy and he didn’t want to trouble him with more work. 

“Of course,” Hanbin agreed without any argument. “But this first one is for you and I want you to install it on your door today,” Hanbin instructed him. “I’ll walk you back and help you later.”

“I-” Hao felt a bit breathless by the intensity in Hanbin’s eyes. “Yes. Thank you.”

“Hao,” Hanbin said, holding his hands tighter. “There is one more thing I wanted to ask of you.”

Hao’s eyes widened. Hanbin rarely requested things from him. “What is it?”

After everything Hanbin had given him, Hao was sure whatever it was, he would find a way to fulfill his wish.

“I think it would be good for you to learn how to protect yourself,” Hanbin answered, gaze all serious. 

“Oh,” Hao hummed, not having expected that. Now that he heard it, he saw no reason to deny Hanbin. “Yes, that would be reasonable.”

“I want to teach you,” Hanbin added, eyes not leaving him.

Hao’s breath hitched. “Y-you?”

“I’ve been taught how to fight by Jiwoong. I’m not only skilled with a sword,” Hanbin said. The scent of pinewood got a little thicker around them. “It would make me sleep a lot better if I knew you learnt how to defend yourself.”

“Aren’t you busy?” Hao asked him, not wanting to disturb Hanbin’s schedule. 

“I’m never too busy for you,” Hanbin shook his head. “You are my priority. If you agree, I will find the time.”

Hao’s heart skipped a beat. Since Hanbin had brought it up, he found the idea to be pretty sound. After what happened to Matthew, it would be good for all of them to learn how to protect themselves. Hao had never wielded a sword in his life and only once shot an arrow. He was helpless in a battle and that made them vulnerable. 

The image of being taught by Hanbin himself was also very appealing, almost making him blush. 

“I…yes. I agree,” Hao said, making Hanbin smile. 

“Thank you,” Hanbin said, pressing his lips to his hand. Hao almost squeaked, heart leaping out of his chest at the fond gesture. “You will not regret it.”

Hao took a deep breath in, trying to calm his heart.

“I’ve heard you are a spectacular teacher, Lord Sung,” he said, voice tinted with mirth. “I look forward to working with you. It’s an honor.”

Hanbin smirked. “Lord Zhang. The honor will be all mine.”

Notes:

thanks for reading!!

a little more on the light-hearted side and a littler earlier to make up for last chapter's delay :3 how do you like it?

hanbin finally knows!!! im always unsure with those scenes because i dont want to repeat myself too much huhu

anyway, have a lovely day!! i appreciate all and every comment <3

Chapter 23: Freesia

Summary:

Freesia. associated with passion and desire; as well as the goddess of love, Aphrodite, representing her virtues of purity, chastity, and piety

Notes:

helluuuu lots of haobin today...basically it all haobin...lol enjoy :D

Usually, Hao didn’t spend much time in the morning pondering on what robes to wear. His mother was the one who was interested in fashion and how clothes could make a statement without words. All his extravagant gowns had been chosen for him by her, according to her vision. Hao himself mostly preferred robes that wouldn’t make him stand out in a crowd, opting for more muted and neutral colors in his daily life. 

Today, however, he was standing in front of his closet at a loss. What did you wear to learn how to fight? Probably something you could move in well, something that didn’t restrict your movements too much. Since Hao had never been keen on physical activities, choosing to spend his time with reading instead, he didn’t own many clothes of that type - which was the root of his current decision problem. 

In the end, he decided on a simple black shirt and the loosest pair of pants he could find. He tightened them with a sash around his waist, although it was quite impractical to do this part on his own. His mother always got his pants to fit much tighter than Hao could, but he still tried his best. It would be quite impractical for your clothes to hinder your moves during a fight because they didn’t fit you properly. And Hao knew he didn’t need any more things besides his own inability to lower his chances in a fight. 

Hanbin had taught a dance class in the morning, but he had promised to pick him up from his room right after. 

He sat down on his bed, wondering what Hanbin would teach him today. He knew the alpha was confident with a sword, but he doubted they would start with such a mighty weapon. Hanbin had already shown him how to shoot an arrow, although Hao hadn’t shown much prowess in that regard. If Hao was being honest, the only thing he remembered from that lesson was the ghost of Hanbin’s touch as he had guided his movements. 

Hao shook his head. He was getting distracted. 

 

Fortunately, there was a soft knock on his door. The lock Hanbin had gifted him was securely attached, preventing the door from being opened without his permission. The moment he had installed it, he had felt infinitely more safe sleeping during the night. 

He pushed the lever to the right. Behind his door, Hanbin was waiting for him. He was holding a bouquet of yellow Freesias and wearing a bright smile. 

“Hey,” he greeted him. “Thought I’d deliver these personally today.”

Hao nearly swooned. No matter how many flowers Hanbin gifted him, the happiness they brought him wouldn’t dwindle. 

He had often told Hanbin that he didn’t need to continue giving him flowers as courting gifts, but Hanbin had never missed a day since his courting offer. 

“Thank you,” he said, accepting the bouquet. “Do you want to come inside for a moment while I put these in water?”

As always, Hanbin seemed hesitant at the invitation. This time, Hao could understand. After all, the last time Hanbin had been in his room, they had ended up in his bed, closer than they ever had been before. His cheeks flushed red at the memory. 

He still remembered the feeling of Hanbin pressed so close, like a phantom touch against his skin. 

“Yes, just a minute,” Hanbin finally agreed, following Hao inside and closing the door behind him. 

As Hao went to exchange the water in his vase, Hanbin looked around his room. Luckily, he kept it pretty tidy, so there was no need to be embarrassed. 

“The lock works?” Hanbin asked, eyes having landed on the construction attached to his door. 

“Perfectly,” Hao confirmed with a bright smile. “Thank you again.”

“No need,” Hanbin shook his head, humble as always. “I gave one to Matthew and Taerae yesterday. So you should all be protected from unwanted visitors.”

Of course, Hanbin had already heeded his request. With this knowledge, Hao could stop worrying about his friends getting ambushed in their sleep.

“Thank you,” Hao repeated, because there truly was nothing else he could say, met again and again with Hanbin’s overwhelming kindness.

He had finished setting up the bouquet, proudly displaying it on his windowsill. It brightened up his room and it smelled lovely, matching well with his own scent of roses that usually lingered in the air of his room.

“Really, it’s nothing,” Hanbin muttered sheepishly. 

He was sort of adorable, acting so nonchalant. A magnetic force pulled Hao towards Hanbin. He let his gaze trail up and down his form. Hanbin must’ve changed after his lesson. Instead of his usual refined robes he was wearing a more practical uniform, something akin to what the guards were wearing. 

“I didn’t know how to dress,” Hao admitted shyly as he stepped underneath Hanbin’s gaze. “I’ve never done something like this before.”

They were so close now that if he stretched out his hands, they would touch Hanbin. Now it was Hanbin beholding him. Hao felt heat flush to his face. 

“You look perfect,” Hanbin stated, voice sounding a little breathless.

“Oh,” Hao whispered, surprised by the sudden praise. Hanbin had complimented his appearance many times before, usually when Hao had been dressed up by his mother. Yet, every time it knocked the wind out of his lungs.

Hanbin’s hands hovered in the air between them, before landing on his waist. As if unsure whether to pull him closer or not, Hanbin held him at a distance. His thumbs grazed over the sash wrapped around his waist. There was an intense look in his eyes, one that gave Hao the shivers. His gaze traveled up, getting stuck on where his loose shirt exposed his collar bones. Hao swallowed heavily.

The fragrance of pinewood mingled with the scent of roses. It smelled so alluring, Hao nearly sighed in pleasure. Did Hanbin feel the same? Like their scents were meant to be one? Like having him close like this was something he always wanted?

Suddenly, Hanbin pulled away, clearing his throat. 

“We should leave,” Hanbin said, turning to his door and stepping out of his general proximity. 

The scent of pinewood followed him. Hao blinked, confused by the sudden shift in tension. 

“R-right,” he stuttered. 

Hanbin held the door open for him. Hao thanked him with a smile. 

He didn’t want to overthink it. Most likely Hanbin didn’t want to get distracted from their purpose for today, which was teaching Hao self-defense. He tried to ignore the voice in his mind insisting that Hanbin had been avoiding physical closeness for a while now. 

He was just busy. There was nothing to worry about. 

 

Hanbin went ahead, making his way out of the scholar quarters. They took a shortcut to the other side of the castle through the Queen’s gardens and finally arrived at the servant’s residences. Every servant and guard that wasn’t assigned and housed by a noble family stayed there. 

Hao hadn’t wandered this part of the castle often since it was so far away from the scholar’s quarters. During this time of day, it was mostly abandoned, probably all residents out fulfilling their duties. 

Hanbin seemed much more familiar with this section of the castle than Hao. Confidently, he led him down the stairs into the basement. 

They walked past a few more rooms. Through the wooden doors Hao could make out the sound of swords meeting and people yelling. This must be where the guards trained. 

Once they made it almost to the end, Hanbin stopped. He pushed a door open, revealing a wide, empty room. Its floor was laid out with mats, feathering Hao’s steps. Apart from that, the room was pretty much left bare. 

“I reserved this room until noon,” Hanbin told him as he closed the door behind him. “I thought you’d appreciate some privacy.”

Hao lowered his head in gratitude. Hanbin always went above and beyond to assure Hao the most comfort possible. 

“I do appreciate it,” he agreed. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for accepting to come here,” Hanbin countered. “I know you don’t like violence. But I feel like this is necessary to keep you safe. As much as I'd love to stay by your side all the time, I know it’s not possible. So this is the next best thing I could come up with.”

Hanbin was right. Hao didn’t like violence. Battles were supposed to be fought out civilized, with clever arguments and the mind as your most dangerous weapon. Not with swords and fists. 

“Needs must when the devil drives,” Hao replied simply. 

He was not unreasonable. By now it was more than obvious that their opponents weren't above using violence. Even if Hao couldn’t see himself ever injuring someone that severely, he saw that it was the safe choice to learn how to protect himself. 

“Alright,” Hanbin said, clapping in his hands to officially start the lesson. “Let’s do this then.”

Hao had always shined at learning new things back when he had been taught by his father. He focused his mind, ready to take on this new challenge.

He had removed his outer robe, revealing the tan skin of his arms. All of a sudden, Hao found it much harder to concentrate on his words. 

“We’ll warm up first to prevent injury,” he instructed him. 

He started demonstrating a few stretches that Hao tried his best to follow. 

His body protested almost immediately, not used to this kind of strain. 

“Here, let me help you,” Hanbin spotted his struggle right away, walking over to him. 

Hao wasn’t sure if it was really helping, his entire body tensed up when Hanbin touched him. With gentle force, Hanbin guided him into the stretch, one hand pressed on his spine while the other settled on his hips. 

Hao tried his best to hide how much such simple touches affected him. Maybe because it had been a while since Hanbin had been so close to him that every single graze of his fingers felt amplified in its sensation. 

Hanbin coughed, removing his hands. Hao wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what was going through his head right now. Could he tell that Hao’s mind had been wandering away from the exercise?

“That should be enough for now,” Hanbin announced, stepping away. 

Hao straightened his body, face flushed with exhaustion and embarrassment. If Hanbin continued this way, he wasn’t sure he’d survive this lesson. 

“What’s next?” He asked, trying to keep his mind focused. 

“I was mostly trained in swordfighting, but I do have some experience with direct combat,” Hanbin told him. Hao had become witness to it before, back when Hanbin had punched Seulchoo. Hanbin for sure knew how to fight. “While you can do a lot with your hands, it can never hurt to have a weapon on you for emergencies.”

He fiddled with his pockets, pulling out a small object. Curious to see what he had brought, Hao shuffled closer. 

“What is that?” He asked, his desire for knowledge infinite. 

Hanbin smiled at him. With a flick of his thumb, a sharp blade jumped out. 

“It’s a pocket knife,” Hanbin explained, before tugging the blade back into its case. He held it out for Hao to take. “Try it.”

Hao had never held anything else but a kitchen knife. With reverence he accepted the weapon. He copied Hanbin’s earlier movements, startling slightly when the blade appeared. 

“I sharpened it this morning,” Hanbin told him. “I want you to keep this with you at all times.”

 Hao’s eyes flickered to Hanbin’s face. “What?”

“It’s yours. I want you to have it. For your own protection,” Hanbin repeated more firmly. 

It was unexpected. Hanbin had never gifted him such a thing. All his gifts had been flowers or jewelry, pretty things that caused no harm. 

He inspected the pocket knife further, hiding the blade again. The case was sleek and black, unsuspecting to the untrained eye. It was small enough to fit in any pocket, henceforth the fitting name. Hanbin’s initials were engraved on the handle in golden letters. It must’ve been a gift to him, too. 

“I cannot accept this,” he breathed. Weapons were much more valuable to Hanbin than to him. “I don’t even know how to use this. It’s much more useful in your possession.”

“Hao,” Hanbin’s gaze was serious. “I don’t need a knife like this to protect myself. You, however, have never fought before. My heart would feel much more at ease if I knew you carried this with you.” He closed Hao’s hand around the handle. “And I will teach you how to use it.”

There was no arguing. Hao swallowed. If it would make Hanbin feel better, he would keep the knife with him. 

Trying to compensate for his flustered state, Hao confidently slipped it into his pocket. He met Hanbin’s gaze. “Yeah? Teach me then.”

Hanbin’s lips twitched into a smirk. 

“Let’s really start then,” he said. 

He took a few steps away from Hao, shaking his fists out. 

“The most important thing to know about getting into a fight is that if possible, to avoid it,” Hanbin told him. 

Hao rolled his eyes in irony. “Really?”

Hanbin chuckled. “I suppose I don’t have to tell you that. But there are some people who do actually enjoy getting into a fight. But it doesn’t matter whether you attack or defend. It will always hurt you.”

Hao listened closely. The prospect of physical harm was really unappealing. Why did people get into fights again? It seemed fully unnecessary to him. 

“The next thing you need to know about fighting is, that you cannot really anticipate anything,” Hanbin continued his lesson. 

Hao frowned. “So you’re telling me teaching me is not really helpful since I cannot be prepared anyway?”

Again, his comment made Hanbin laugh. Somehow, making Hanbin laugh had become one of his favorite things to do, always making him feel a little lightheaded. Hanbin’s laughter sounded like a lovely little melody. He wondered what else he could say to make him laugh again.

No! Focus!

“Don’t be so bleak,” Hanbin joked. “There are a few things that are useful to know in a fight.”

“Like what?” Hao challenged impatiently. 

“You, Lord Zhang, are a terribly impatient student,” Hanbin scolded him playfully. “Am I not even allowed to finish my sentences?”

“Not if you’re being so slow,” Hao teased him right back. 

Hanbin let out a laugh. Success!

It was fun being with Hanbin in this context. The privacy of the practice room made him feel oddly confident. 

“Didn’t know you were so eager to fight,” Hanbin pointed out cheekily. 

“Maybe I’m just eager to fight you,” Hao countered, making Hanbin burst out laughing once more. 

Hao joined him, giggling lightly. They both knew that in reality, Hao would rather rip out the pages of his beloved books than throw a punch at Hanbin. 

“Alright, I’ll hurry it up then,” Hanbin said, swiping the hair out of his face. It revealed his forehead in a very attractive way. Hao’s heart fluttered slightly. Hanbin raised his fists. “I’ll show you how to avoid a punch and then throw a counter-punch.”

Hao fixated on Hanbin’s posture. His strong shoulders were attenuated more than usually in his training uniform. He shook his head. Focus!

He followed Hanbin, also raising his fists. It felt awkward to him, but he fought through it. 

“You only have a few milliseconds to decide which side to move,” Hanbin told him. “But in my experience, most people are right-handed and throw a right punch first. So you’ll move your body to your right.”

In slow motion he threw his fist towards Hao, who instinctively moved out of harm’s way. 

“Perfect!” Hanbin praised him. “You’re a natural at dodging!"

Hao rolled his eyes at the over-exaggerated compliment. Everyone would’ve been able to avoid Hanbin’s punch that had been made at a snail’s pace.

“Now,” Hanbin continued. “You do what I did. Use your right hand and aim for the nose or the eyes. That will hurt less than punching the jaw or the skull.”

Despite the discomfort due to performing an unfamiliar motion, Hao dashed his fist forward. 

With no effort at all, Hanbin moved out of the way. “Good!” He exclaimed.

Hanbin had always been a very encouraging teacher. It was what Hao loved about learning from him. No matter how bad you were, Hanbin made you feel like talent was simmering inside you, just waiting to be discovered. 

Although it felt a bit foreign in this context to him, Hao still enjoyed the thrill of learning something new. 

“Just one thing,” Hanbin said, taking Hao’s fist that was still hanging mid-air. Carefully he moved his fingers, putting his thumb outside of his fist instead of inside. “This way you will not accidentally break your own thumb.”

“Right,” Hao agreed, nodding along as he sensed the logic behind that correction. 

Instead of letting go of his hand, Hanbin tenderly caressed over his knuckles. He was looking at his hands as if they were something precious. 

“The more I think about it, the more of a misdeed this is,” Hanbin muttered.

“Mhh?” Hao’s head perked up, confused. 

“Just look at your hands. They were not made to fight. They should never fight,” Hanbin mumbled, holding them between them with quiet awe. “Your skin is so soft. It would be a misdeed to break it with something as cruel as violence.”

Hao’s heart flickered like a candle in the wind. Hanbin always spoke about him like he was something precious, something treasured. He knew Hanbin was in love with him, but hearing the reverence in his voice almost made it painful. 

“Hey,” he pouted, tearing his hands away before Hanbin could do something even crazier. Like kissing them. “I’m much tougher than I look.”

Hanbin sighed, but then gave him a soft smile. “I know you are. That’s why we’re in this position in the first place. You chose to fight for what’s right. I just hate what that means for your safety.”

“Trust me, I’d much rather debate Lord Yoon than punch him,” Hao told him. “But it’s not up to me.”

“Let’s just hope I’ll be there when he decides to make his move,” Hanbin settled on. “That way your hands can stay untainted.”

Hao huffed, amused. “My hands will be fine,” he assured Hanbin. “Now will you teach me how to use my knife or do I have to find another teacher?”

“Alright,” Hanbin chuckled, easily appeased. “Let’s move on to the knife then.”

They went through the motions again, Hao indicating his counterpunch. 

“This is the moment. While your opponent moves away, you get a moment to remember your weapon,” Hanbin told him. “This is your chance to turn the table.”

Listening to Hanbin’s words, Hao quickly reached for his pocket, pulling out the knife. 

“Good,” Hanbin said. “But you need to be much faster. After the first punch, it’s impossible to guess where your opponent will attack next. If you draw your knife first, you will at least gain a moment in which they hesitate.”

Hanbin grabbed his wrist, lifting it up higher so it was closer to Hanbin’s face. 

“And don’t look like you are afraid of your own weapon. You need to look like you mean it,” Hanbin instructed him. 

That was probably the hardest part for Hao. Deep down, he didn’t want to hurt anybody. Not even Lord Yoon. Violence was against his nature as a human-being. Simply the thought of drawing blood made him want to vomit. 

“What then?” Hao asked, not sure he wanted to know the next step. His hand was trembling already, despite this only being a practice situation. 

“You need to use the moment of hesitation. This is your chance,” Hanbin told him. “You basically have two choices. The first one is to attack.”

His hand still wrapped around Hao’s wrist, he moved the knife to his abdomen. 

“A hit to the abdomen won’t kill anyone immediately, but it will weaken them enough,” Hanbin explained. “If you aim for an arm or a leg, chances are your opponent will still be able to fight back. The stomach is much more painful.”

Hao swallowed. Despite Hanbin’s descriptions being far from vivid and colorful, the imagination of hurting another person already made him nauseous. It was appalling that people did this to each other. 

“And what is the second option?” He asked. 

Hanbin breathed, moving his wrist back to its initial position. 

“You have the element of surprise on your side,” Hanbin said. “It’s more risky, but you could always use this moment to run.”

Run. Also not something Hao was good at, but he much preferred this option. 

“I will run,” he immediately decided. 

Hanbin nodded in understanding, as if he had never seriously entertained the thought of Hao choosing differently.

“If you run, it’s important that you don’t look back. It will only slow you down,” Hanbin taught him. “And don’t stay quiet. You run and you scream at the same time.”

That sounded sensible. Jiwoong had taught Hanbin well. 

“Do you want to try it once?” Hanbin asked him, letting go of Hao’s wrist to get back in his starting position. 

Suddenly Hao was filled with adrenaline. So far, everything had been just a game, Hanbin slowing everything down for him to learn and catch up. Now it was time for the real thing.

“Don’t hold back,” he replied, slipping the knife back in his pocket. 

“Are you sure?” Hanbin asked, but Hao nodded stubbornly. 

“I want to know what I’m up against,” Hao confirmed. 

“Alright,” Hanbin agreed. “Do your best, then.”

They stood opposite of each other. Both of their fists were raised. For a moment, Hao realized how absurd this situation was. Then he focused. 

“I’ll start,” Hanbin let him know. 

Hanbin had been right. Hao only had a fraction of a second to dodge, but somehow he managed to avoid the punch. 

Hanbin looked proud, before getting back into character. Hao was too slow to actually attempt a counterpunch, instead just taking a step backwards as Hanbin attacked again. 

It took him two more attempted punches from Hanbin to get his own first punch in. 

It was a weak one, one Hanbin easily avoided, but it gave Hao enough time to whip out his pocketknife. 

As he held it up, Hanbin froze in his movements - there it was, the moment of hesitation. At this point, Hao’s instincts kicked in. 

 

He bolted, running away as fast as his feet would carry him.

The practice room was big, giving him enough way to actually gain speed. He heard Hanbin come after him, his footsteps getting closer. It was tempting to look back, but he remembered Hanbin’s words. 

He was about to make it to the door when he felt the sash around his waist come loose. It tangled in his legs and made Hao slip. 

Suddenly, he was falling. 

Someone reached for him, but it was inevitable. They landed on the floor, that in clever foresight was covered in soft mats, cushioning their fall. 

Hanbin must’ve tried to catch him, but instead Hao had dragged him down. Now Hanbin was laying on top of him, hovering slightly over his chest. 

The thrill of the chase slowly caught up to Hao. The adrenaline rushed through his veins. In a normal fight, he would’ve been frightened - but somehow with Hanbin, it had felt exciting. 

For some reason he started giggling. Hanbin stared at him, concern shifting into bewilderment. 

“Are you alright?" He asked him, a bit breathless. 

Hao nodded, hair brushing against the floor. “Yes. That was so close! I almost made it out!”

Upon getting confirmation of Hao’s well-being, Hanbin allowed himself to laugh along. 

“It was not bad for your first attempt. You held yourself well,” Hanbin praised him. 

They were both still catching their breaths from the wild chase. Hanbin’s chest was almost touching his. 

“Thank you,” Hao smiled. “I guess my robes were my downfall after all.”

They both looked down at where his sash had been. Now nothing was holding his shirt together, revealing a sliver of skin where a few buttons had become loose. 

Something in Hanbin’s gaze darkened as he looked down on him. It made his heart race for a different reason than exhaustion. Being perceived by Hanbin always did. 

As if in a trance, Hanbin lifted his hand, slowly brushing over Hao’s naked skin. His body shuddered at the touch, making him lose his breath. 

Their eyes met and it felt like lightning had struck the air. A hot tension filled the air between them. Hao held his breath, not knowing if he wanted to break it. He didn’t.

His own hands moved up to Hanbin’s hair, getting buried in the soft strands. 

It seemed like they had forgotten why they were here in the first place, completely wrapped up in each other. 

“Hanbin,” Hao pleaded, softly inching his face closer. 

Apparently, that was all the invitation Hanbin needed. He crashed their lips together. 

Hao gasped in surprise. It had been a while since Hanbin had kissed him with such passion. It made his head buzz, like all other thoughts besides Hanbin’s name had melted into one blur. 

He tightened his grip in Hanbin’s hair, meeting his lips with increasing vigor. The alpha let out a low growl, opening his mouth enough to make their tongues meet. It felt like a fiery dance had started between them. 

Hao’s body burned with desire. The scent of pinewood practically coddled him, covered him, consumed him. 

His skin was on fire where Hanbin was still touching his bare skin. Possessive fingers traveled further down his body, gripping onto his waist, only loosening his shirt further. Hao’s head was spinning, but he didn’t mind the lack of oxygen if it was from Hanbin kissing him like this . 

Not really sure what he was doing, but trembling with excitement, Hao let his own hands wander. Down from Hanbin’s hair to his shoulders, until he reached the front of his robes. There were a few knots holding them together, but somehow Hao managed to loosen them enough to push the fabric off Hanbin’s shoulders. 

He whined when he made contact with Hanbin’s bare skin as well. Finally, Hao understood how Hanbin could sound so reverent about his skin - because Hanbin’s skin might’ve been the best thing he had ever touched. 

It felt strong and taut, his muscles defined on his chest as Hao grazed over them. Yet, at the same time, it was so incredibly soft, like a cloud or something even softer like a daydream. 

Hanbin groaned, letting go of his lips after having kissed Hao senseless. He began trailing wet kisses down his neck instead, until he reached his collarbones. 

Hao panted in pleasure, overcome with a sensation that he had never felt before. Something was lighting his body on fire, making him want to melt into Hanbin until there was no telling them apart anymore. 

He needed to get closer until there was no space left between them. 

Hanbin seemed to be on the same page, crawling further into him. Hao’s legs fell open to let him in closer and Hanbin settled between them like a missing puzzle piece. 

Hanbin was holding him so tightly, sucking on his skin and creating red marks on his exploration of Hao’s body. It was too much, and yet, it wasn’t enough. 

Hao wanted more. He wanted.  

“Hanbin,” he whimpered, hands back on Hanbin’s bare shoulders, squeezing them. “I think…I think I want-”

Before he could express what he wanted, Hanbin stopped. His eyes widened in shock. Where the scent of pinewood had been sweet and spicy before, it was now filled with panic.

It took Hao’s befuddled mind a moment to catch up to the sudden change in emotions. 

What had happened? Had he done something wrong?

“I’m sorry,” Hanbin said, jumping up to his feet. He seemed frazzled. 

Before Hao could realize what was happening, Hanbin had moved away from him. His lips were still tinted pink, his hair dishevelled and his chest bare. 

Hao hadn’t imagined what they had done. He hadn’t imagined the passion boiling between them - but then why did Hanbin look so-?

“I need to leave!” Hanbin announced.  

Hao sat up, utterly confused. Hanbin picked up the robes Hao had removed from him and dashed out of the training room, leaving him alone.

W-what?

 

It took Hao hours to find back to his own room. Not because he got lost on his way through the royal gardens, but because his mind kept spinning. So, Hao did what he always did when his mind was running too fast for him to keep up with. He went for a walk.

It hadn’t been the first time Hanbin had run from him. Hao didn’t like to remember that uncomfortable moment they had shared in his bed, when Hanbin had apologized for kissing him after Hao had practically begged him to. 

Hao had wanted him back then, too. 

Admittedly, Hao was pretty inexperienced when it came to these things. Of course, he had been educated, but so far nothing had ever tempted him as much. 

He understood what this feeling meant. Every cell of his body craved for Hanbin. 

Did Hanbin not share this feeling? Did he not desire Hao in the same way? 

Hao hated the possibility that Hanbin might not want him. He knew Hanbin was in love with him, but that didn’t have to mean that Hanbin wanted him as well. 

Did it make Hao guilty for having these thoughts? He knew that it wasn’t proper for unmated couples to entertain these desires…but if Hanbin truly wanted to mate him, then was it really wrong? 

Hao couldn’t help the way he was feeling, the way Hanbin’s presence made him react. 

He didn’t want to feel ashamed, but Hanbin’s reaction was hard to read as anything but rejection. Was Hao not good enough for him after all?

When he had lived in the cottage, isolated for years, those kinds of doubts had often busied Hao’s mind for hours. He had come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t beautiful, that he was too tall to be considered pretty, that he was too shy to be considered tempting. 

But with Hanbin looking at him, truly looking at him, for the first time in years, he had started to believe the opposite. 

He didn’t want to go back to that state of crippling self doubt, but it was almost impossible not to. Not when Hao wanted so much, yearned so much, and Hanbin would rather run away than touch him. 

 

Even when night came, fog blurred his thoughts and grey clouds of doubt circled his mind. Usually, Hanbin was open and honest about everything, not afraid to speak his mind. But when it came to intimacy he was a blank page to Hao. So the only thing he could fill the blank page with were his own qualms. 

Hao knew it was eating him up inside. Being left alone with himself had never served him well. He knew he needed to talk to someone about this. Since Hanbin was not an option for obvious reasons, he needed someone else he could trust blindly.

He didn’t sleep well. 

The next day, despite his best efforts to concentrate, Hao caught himself time and again getting distracted. He nearly spilled ink all over the paper he was working on, but luckily caught himself. With a sigh he put his pen down. He had barely finished one flying paper in the hours he had been working in his father’s study. Usually, he would have written three by this time. He tried, he really tried to drown himself in his work as usual. Since they had lost all the flying papers, there was a lot of work to be caught up on. Hao loved working on The Rose Project. Normally, he was able to focus on it for hours, without even realizing the passing of time.

There was no use. No matter how much he didn’t like to admit it, today Hao’s mind was preoccupied with other things. Hanbin to be specific. 

Luckily, he was freed from his torture when a soft knock on the door interrupted him. Hao jumped to his feet immediately, abandoning his work. 

He had waited, hoped for this. 

It was not everyday that Taerae or Matthew joined him in his father’s study, since both of them had other duties, so every time they did, Hao felt more than delighted. Today, however, he needed one of them. 

It seemed like luck was on his side, as not only one of them, but both of his friends hushed inside the study once he opened the door. Quickly, he locked the door again, following them back to the desk. 

“Ahhh, my favorite tea!” Matthew exclaimed, already pouring himself a cup and helping himself to one of the biscuits that Hao hadn’t touched all day.

Matthew was still resting in his rooms most days, but he had slowly been returning to attend to some of his less tedious tasks. Still, it eased Hao’s heart immensely when he saw Matthew act this carefree. Sometimes, people were haunted by the ghost of their injuries, but it seemed like that wasn’t the case for Matthew. 

Taerae waited until Matthew was done until he poured himself a cup as well. He skimmed over the desk, seeing Hao’s half-finished paper. 

“I see you’ve been busy already,” Taerae commented. “At this point, we’ll recover our losses in no time. Have you gotten any letters so far?”

Hao shook his head. “No, not yet,” he answered, rather than telling Taerae that he’d spend most of the day staring out the window.

“So, you want us on write or record duty today?” Matthew asked, already stretching out his fingers. “I’m feeling up for both!”

Hao took a deep breath. It always embarrassed him a little, speaking about private matters, not used to sharing these parts of himself. However, he knew that these were his friends and they wouldn’t judge him for his feelings. 

“Actually,” Hao said, slowly tidying up the desk and putting the unfinished flying papers back in their hiding spot. “It’s good that you both came today. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Matthew and Taerae exchanged a curious glance as they watched him. Usually, Hao wasn’t someone who made excuses about work. 

“Alright? Did anything happen? Did Lord Yoon approach you again?” Taerae asked him, a worried frown distorting his features.

Hao swallowed. “No, not at all. It’s not about the project. Or my father.”

That only seemed to confuse his friends more. 

“What is it then?” Taerae inquired. 

Hao avoided their eyes, shyly fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt. “It’s about…courting. And Hanbin and I.”

“Yes!”

With an enthusiasm Hao should’ve probably expected, Matthew slid into the spot next to him on the windowsill. He was grinning giddily.

“Did Hanbin do something?” He asked, eyes sparkling with interest. 

Hao wasn’t sure if that made him more or less flustered. 

“No…erm…it’s more about what he didn’t do,” Hao muttered, still not sure how to breach this topic. 

Taerae had also sat down now, a teasing smirk spreading on his lips. At least he was no longer concerned. 

“What? Did he forget to bring you flowers this morning?” Taerae asked, taking a sip from his tea. 

No, even this day, Hao had found a fresh bouquet of flowers on his doorstep. 

“Did something happen yesterday?” Matthew guessed when Hao remained quiet. “He was teaching you how to fight, didn’t he?”

Just the words prompted Hao to remember. His cheeks flushed as the images of Hanbin and him appeared in his head. Hanbin, above him, kissing him, undressing him.

He inhaled. There was no way around this. 

“Have either of you ever…wanted someone?” Hao asked, not meeting his friend's eyes. 

Matthew squealed, which startled Hao slightly. That had not been the reaction he had expected. Taerae punched him in his side. 

Endeavoured to put on a more calm expression, Matthew leaned back against the window. 

“I have wanted many people,” Matthew told him, like it was the easiest thing to admit.

It actually helped in making Hao feel a little less ashamed about talking to him. 

“And have you ever…?” He couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud. 

Matthew understood him either way. He grinned. “Do you want to know if I have ever lain with an alpha?”

Hao nodded, willing himself to not look away, despite the heat rising in his cheeks. “I know, as unmated omegas, we are not really supposed to. But…”

Matthew giggled. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t be curious, right?” He helped himself to another biscuit. “I have. To answer your question.”

That news surprised Hao a little,although maybe it shouldn’t have. After all, he was also considering it. 

“But I do have to say that I’m a servant, Hao. It’s not the same for me. I guess, in a way I enjoy more freedom than all those omegas participating in the courting season. My reputation cannot be ruined to anyone that matters,” Matthew told him. “Because I’m not someone that matters.”

Hao was about to open his mouth to protest, but Matthew already shook his head. 

“Not in that way. But you know what I mean. Only noble people care about such concepts as purity and virtue. Us servants are exempt from those constructions, because none of them would consider mating us in the first place. So nobody cares about our purity,” Matthew shrugged.

Hao understood what Matthew was saying. Although, rationally, it didn’t make any sense to him. Of course, his mother had taught him about such values as purity, that omegas were supposed to adhere to. He had heard about omegas whose reputations had been ruined for trusting the wrong people. It was just another thing that was unfair in their society. Perhaps, he needed to make an addition to The Rose Project before publishing. 

“That’s so dumb,” Hao stated, prompting both his friends to laugh. Perhaps the effect was stronger because Hao rarely made such crude statements. 

“I suppose,” Matthew chortled. 

“Did you…with Jiwoong?” Hao asked him, fighting through the embarrassment. He was an adult man! He could discuss intimacy with his friends!

Matthew smirked. “No, not yet. I just got together with a few other servants back when I was younger and adventurous."

“But Jiwoong…he wants you?” Hao said, proud of how well he was hiding his nerves and how stable his voice sounded. 

Matthew laughed again, but he sounded confident when he spoke. “I think so. I think he’s been wanting me for a long time, so I’m making him wait a little longer.”

Somehow, the confirmation only made Hao’s heart feel heavier. Hanbin had also been waiting for him for a long time, but he wasn’t confident at all that Hanbin wanted him. 

He needed to know. “How can you tell?” 

“You told me once, it’s the way he looks at me. The way he touches me. Some nights, he sneaks into my room when I let him,” Matthew confided, sighing dreamily. “And he kisses me in a way that makes me dream of more.”

Hao slumped. Hanbin wouldn’t ever dare to do that. They had shared a bed before, but that had been an exception, an emergency. Otherwise Hanbin would’ve probably never even let him into his chambers.

His gaze shifted to Taerae, who had been quiet so far. 

“Have you ever wanted someone?” Hao asked him, because he knew Taerae to give the best advice. 

Taerae seemed to ponder for a moment. “No…I…-” he stopped himself. “I have never wanted an alpha.”

Hao nodded. With how little interest Taerae had in the entire courting season, that answer wasn’t surprising to him. 

“I tried once, when I was younger and curious, and wanted to be rebellious, but it really wasn’t-” he visibly shuddered. “It wasn’t for me. I ran before we really got anywhere.”

Hao’s heart wilted. A hot sensation shot up his eyes and he realized it was tears. 

Running away. Wasn’t that what Hanbin had done?

Taerae noticed first. He leaned forward, patting Hao’s arm. 

“Hao, have Hanbin and you…?” He asked so softly, as if he could sense how vulnerable Hao was being. 

“No,” Hao choked out, wiping his tears away. “Hanbin…ran away.”

“Oh,” Taerae cooed, embracing Hao gently.

Matthew snorted, rolling his eyes. “What an idiot.”

“I don’t think Hanbin wants me,” Hao sniffled, his insecurities getting the best of him. “I cannot blame him, I’m not…desirable or experienced.”

“Hao, please,” Matthew deadpanned. “That’s just utter nonsense. I have no doubt Hanbin yearns for you.”

Hao blushed at Matthew’s words, although he couldn’t quite believe him. “Then why does he run every time we…touch?”

“Because he’s an idiot!” Matthew repeated, exasperated. “But that doesn’t have to mean you have to be one, too! You’re supposed to be smarter than him!”

That actually managed a teary giggle out of Hao. 

“I just…I don’t want to pressure him either. He doesn’t like talking about this. And if he will never want me, then I can understand,” Hao muttered. “It just makes me feel like I did something wrong.”

“Ah, so you haven’t talked to him about this yet?” Taerae pointed out, always the observant one. 

Hao shook his head, lowering his gaze as he whispered, “No. After he ran away, I just felt so ashamed.”

Taerae sighed, softly petting Hao in comfort.

“First, there is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s normal to have these wants,” Taerae told him. Like this, it was obvious that he came from a scholar family as well, obviously having been educated by his own mother on these things in a pretty open-minded fashion. “Second, I was not in love with the alpha I ran away from. I was young, and way in over my head. I could have never enjoyed it.”

Taerae took his hand in his. 

“Hanbin is in love with you. Sure, you cannot pressure him or make him want what he doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean you are any less desirable or any less loved.”

A few more tears slipped down Hao’s cheeks, this time out of gratitude for his great friends. 

Matthew reached for his other hand, not wanting to be excluded. 

“If you want to know what I think, Hanbin does want you,” Matthew told him firmly. “He’s just wrapped up in his own head. Maybe he doesn’t like talking about it, but you definitely should have a conversation with him.”

Hao squeezed their hands in support. He knew, sooner or later, Hanbin and him had to talk. It felt good to have had this conversation with his friends first. Now he was less afraid to face what was to come. 

“But Hao,” Taerae let go of his hand to turn to him, looking in his eyes. “You do have to consider a few things. I know you want Hanbin, but Matthew said it earlier. It’s not that simple for us.”

Hao furrowed his brows. It surprised him to hear those words from Taerae, who had never struck him as particularly conservative about these things.

“What do you mean? I trust Hanbin,” he said with a frown. 

“I know,” Taerae smiled warmly. “But it is a big step. And it’s not about purity or virtue or something, but it is something that you cannot take back ever again. It makes you vulnerable. It changes you.”

Hao remained quiet, letting the words sink in. 

“I’m not telling you not to do it. I don’t think Hanbin would ever hurt you,” Taerae said. “But as your friend, I want you to be safe. Physically and emotionally.”

Matthew grinned, wallowing in memories. “I remember getting the same lecture once upon a time.”

Taerae flicked his head. “It’s not a lecture. I just know that neither of you have had this conversation with your parents, so I’m taking the fall for the team here.”

Hao laughed. His heart already felt a little more light-hearted, despite not having spoken with Hanbin yet. 

“And we thank you for your services,” Matthew joked, saluting playfully. 

“I truly am thankful,” Hao added, a lot more sincerely. “To both of you.”

His friends returned his smile. Something inside him glowed warmly.

No matter what happened to him in the future, Hao was sure their friendship would never change. 

Notes:

thanks for reading!! :3

a bit more of a relationship focus and all of the interpersonal stuff and lots of haobin hehe let me know how you like it!!
i love reading all your thoughts in the comments, really it makes me smile so much!! :)))))))))))))))))))))))

i hope you are all doing well!! pls stay happy and healthy <3

Chapter 24: Nigellas

Summary:

Nigella. symbol of curiosity; reminds us to stay open-minded and approach new ideas and experiences with a sense of wonder; to embrace the beauty of the unknown.

Notes:

lol no plot just haobin today enjoy!!

Hanbin’s head was spiraling. While he loved his new work, there were parts of it that stressed him out like nothing else. Like figuring out a schedule for Lord Baek, who had very specific preferences about his break times. 

Hanbin knew it had been the right call becoming a fellow to a scholar first, before offering his own services. Lord Baek’s reputation, connections and knowledge had progressed him much further than his own efforts would have. It was a privilege he was grateful for, being able to join the scholar community after only being involved in the trade. He knew it was partly due to his family name and his noble heritage that it was possible in the first place, two things he had had no influence over. Taking over a teaching position and becoming an assistant to a scholar was not easy to achieve and he felt indebted to Lord Baek for taking him in and allowing him to chase his true passion. 

That didn’t mean that Lord Baek was a particular pleasant person to be around. Hanbin especially didn’t like that he played favorites with his students and that he let the students who weren’t his favorites know it. In his opinion, everyone should be treated equally. While Lord Baek was his entrance key to the scholar world, he would for sure not try to follow in his footsteps, deeming many of his teaching methods outdated. 

 

Currently, Hanbin was trying to organize three classes into one day, which was the maximum amount Lord Baek would teach within a day. If Hanbin reserved the small dance hall for all three of them, then Lord Baek wouldn’t have to move around so much in between lessons, something he always complained about. However, Lord Baek’s preferred dance hall was not available and Hanbin knew that it would put him in a bad mood to teach somewhere else. And Lord Baek’s bad mood usually meant that his students would have to suffer the consequences. So, Hanbin usually wanted to avoid making him too upset. 

He set back and started at his various attempts of creating the best possible schedule. It was impossible. 

Hanbin sighed and leaned back in his chair. Jiwoong was out with his mother on a trip today, so he didn’t even have his friend to exchange thoughts. Jiwoong was much smarter than most people gave him credit for, and he was a natural problem solver. But he wasn’t an option today.

Of course, his next idea was to consult Hao, who was by far the smartest person he knew. He was sure Hao would not only offer him solid advice, but would also make him feel good while doing so. Because Hao was not only smart beyond imagination, he was also compassionate. His words could put any worried mind to rest.

It seemed like the perfect solution to all his problems…if it weren’t for the fact that he was currently avoiding Hao. 

Hao…

 

Especially after their last encounter in the guard training halls, it had become very dangerous to let his thoughts linger on the omega.

He dropped his head on his desk and growled in frustration. No, he couldn’t go there. Thinking about Hao…it never ended well these days. And if he couldn’t even think about him, going to see him was not even an option he seriously entertained. 

Maybe if he just waited long enough, the perfect solution would come all on its own.

 

As if waiting for that cue, the door to his office sprung open without any prior notice. Hanbin didn’t even bother looking. There was only one person who never knocked and stormed in like a hurricane. 

Seok Matthew, his trusted friend and dearest annoyance, waltzed into the room like he owned it. He took over his usual spot on the windowsill, getting comfortable against the throw pillows Hanbin had put there especially for him. 

“I spoke to Lady Yukima,” Matthew told him without any further greeting. “She agreed to switch halls with Lord Baek. But you have to get her some of those imported lemon tarts that your parents brought from their last trip.”

It seemed like his silent prayer had been heard. A solution had come all on its own - albeit in a form Hanbin hadn’t expected - Seok Matthew, after all, was more often part of his problems than solutions.

“Done,” Hanbin agreed right away, feeling some of his stress get elevated by the news. He hadn’t had much hope when he had asked Matthew if he could seek out Lady Yukima, who was notorious for her stubbornness, but apparently Matthew had worked his irresistible charm. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Matthew shrugged easily. 

With a much lighter heart, Hanbin got back to his schedule. The big question marks slowly cleared in front of him as he found a way to arrange the lessons for the upcoming week. If he hurried, he could finish this today and deliver it to Lord Baek right away. 

“Hanbin,” Matthew interrupted his concentrated silence. 

“Mhh?” He hummed, dipping his pen into some fresh ink. 

“You need to stop being an idiot.”

His pen dropped to the ground. Frantically, Hanbin crawled under his desk to retrieve it. Luckily, no ink had splatter on his schedule. Lord Baek hated sloppiness. And as he mentioned earlier, keeping Lord Baek in a good mood was beneficial to everyone around him - especially his students.

Careful not to accidentally smudge his paper, he put his pen away. He turned his chair around to look at Matthew. 

“Now, what is that supposed to mean?”

It wasn’t rare for Matthew to be blunt with him. Hanbin appreciated his brutal honesty. Admittedly, he had been coddled a lot by his parents, so getting the perspective of a more neutral outsider had been more helpful than harmful most times. Not many noblemen would agree with him on this view, but Hanbin had never placed any value on hierarchies. He valued Matthew’s input just as much as he would that of a noble. In fact, he valued Matthew’s opinion more.

“You know what I mean,” Matthew deadpanned. 

Ah. Well. 

Hanbin turned back to his desk, fumbling with his papers. 

No, he totally didn’t know what Matthew could possibly mean. Matthew, who had only been back to his duties for a few days, spending the rest of his free time with… no .

Do not even think about him!

He sighed in frustration. He was doing it again. Avoiding it. 

Avoiding Hao. To his credit, at least he was aware of it. But somehow that only made it worse. It was just…lately, whenever he thought of Hao, his mind drifted to places that were…improper, to say the least. 

“No, I don’t,” Hanbin insisted, not ready to confront this issue yet. Avoidance had been his plan of action by choice! Being in denial could be such a wonderful thing!

He picked up his pen and pretended to write rather than doing actual work. 

Matthew sighed dramatically. With a force way too strong for someone who had been in the infirmary merely weeks ago he swiveled Hanbin’s chair around. 

Face to face, it was hard to ignore Matthew’s knowing gaze. 

“You need to stop avoiding Hao,” Matthew stated. 

Ah. Blunt as ever.

Perhaps there were moments when he appreciated the bluntness less. Especially when Matthew used it to call him out on his more stupid ideas.

“I’m not avoiding him,” Hanbin denied right away, even though they both knew it was a lie. 

“Whatever you think you are doing by avoiding him, it’s not working,” Matthew told him firmly. “So just stop it.”

Hanbin bit on his lip. It’s not like he was doing it on purpose. Well, he was…but there were reasons!

“I’m just…I need to get my head sorted first. Lately, he’s been really…distracting.”

Distracting was putting it mildly. Hao had been distracting at the start of the courting season. He had been distracting laying in the mud underneath the stars, torn up about his purpose. He had been distracting coming down those stairs at the Official Introduction, dressed like a daydream. He had been distracting sitting in a carriage next to him, so close Hanbin had felt like he had been sitting in a field of blooming roses. 

No, Hao was no longer just distracting. 

Matthew snorted, not amused by Hanbin’s behaviour. “Well, it’s not really doing Hao any good. He’s been very distraught lately.”

Alarm shot through Hanbin’s body. He knew avoiding Hao was not a smart move. No, it was very dumb. But at the moment it had been the only thing he could think of. 

Hearing that Hao was distraught, however, made him feel like he was not only dumb. No, he felt like the world’s biggest idiot. Seeing Hao distraught was always painful. Hao should never experience any hardships if Hanbin could help it! Now learning he was the cause of it - Hanbin felt like he had failed as a human-being.

“Have you talked to him?” Hanbin asked, needing to know more. Despite the distance between them being entirely his fault, deep down, he was craving to see Hao again. He always wanted to see Hao, that was just a thing that was always true. It’s been too long since he had gazed into those eyes and seen their vivid sparkle. It might be his favorite view in the world, seeing his eyes light up whenever a new idea crossed Hao’s mind. 

He was so smart and so pretty, most days Hanbin was still in awe at Hao’s sheer existence.

“Yes, but it’s not me that needs to talk to him!” Matthew scolded him, rightfully so. “Come on, what are you doing?”

Hanbin opened and closed his mouth, but now words came out. 

“I’m just…I’m just…” Hanbin ran out of excuses. Truth was, he was just weak.

Matthew looked understandably frustrated with his lack of an answer. 

“Well, Hao thinks you don’t want him,” he told him, only making him feel worse. 

It felt close to a death sentence. 

Hanbin jumped to his feet. “What?!” He exclaimed. 

This was insanity! How could Hao even get that idea? Clearly, the opposite was the case! Hanbin wanted Hao too much. So much, in fact, it made his brain turn into mush whenever he looked at him these days. No, whenever he just thought of him!

Which was why Hanbin was avoiding him. He wasn’t an animal, their kind had evolved from that. It wasn’t like he had never experienced these desires before, but with Hao, everything felt amplified. 

He supposed being in love with someone did that to you.

But Hao deserved better than someone who couldn’t control his urges around him. And Hanbin had been determined to become that someone. That’s why he had thought some space would help him, at least until he learned how to be around Hao again without being swallowed by want. 

However, if Hao seriously doubted his feelings…didn’t that mean that Hanbin had failed to express his devotion in the first place? Did Hao really not know how Hanbin felt about him? Was Hanbin really that stupid?

Matthew rolled his eyes. “Just talk to him,” he said dryly. “And stop being such an idiot.”

It felt like a punch in his guts. No, worse. Hanbin had seriously messed up. If Hao was having doubts, Hanbin keeping his distance must’ve only fueled the flames. 

Just, after their last encounter…Hanbin thought it had been clear that he couldn’t keep his head straight in Hao’s closer proximity. And Hao deserved better than some instinct driven caveman!

Avoiding him had just been the means to an end, namely getting his urges under control!

Hanbin groaned in misery, hiding his face in his hands. He hoped Hao would forgive him for his utter incompetence. 

After all, Hao was everything to him. Hanbin had waited years to be with him, he wouldn’t let anything ruin their courtship. Least of all himself. If he had to grovel at Hao’s feet to prove his feelings, Hanbin would happily do it. 

 

Hao was staring out of his blue-tinted window. There was a rainshower raging outside, rain pouring down in heavy streams. A summer storm, perhaps the last of the season before fall would come and take its turn in the yearly cycle of seasons. 

Hao’s heart felt heavy as he watched the drops form little streaks on his window, racing against each other to the bottom. 

It had been three days since he had seen Hanbin. Ever since they officially started courting, they had never spent so much time apart. Except for his heat, which perhaps, had started this entire demise. That had been the first time Hanbin had run away from him.

Hao didn’t want to think that Hanbin was doing it on purpose. It would hurt too much, admitting that Hanbin might no longer want to see him. Perhaps, he was just busier than usual. However, his steady absence made him ponder. In the past, Hanbin had never been shy to make the effort to see him, no matter how busy he had been. 

On the other hand, Hao didn’t want to overwhelm Hanbin by forcing his presence on him or the obligation to see him. But he missed Hanbin. It was a bit ridiculous, it’s been mere days - but his heart longed for Hanbin. Every minute of every hour. It longed. 

The darkness outside made Hao stand up to light a few candles. It was late already and the weather only made it more gloomy. Hao had eaten dinner alone in his room today, trying to distract his aching heart with work and his favorite meal. 

It didn’t help. There was only one person that really could help him.

He looked at the golden bracelet on his wrist. He was wearing it every day, a little spark of happiness making his chest tingle whenever he saw it. He brushed his thumbs over the name engraved in it.

Sung Hanbin had promised him everything. Yet, Hao still wanted more. Didn’t that just make him greedy? Shouldn’t he be content with what he had already gotten? Hanbin was more than he had ever dared to dream of. Hao would have to learn that there were times in which Hanbin wouldn’t have time for him. And that was okay. It didn’t have to mean that Hanbin no longer wanted to be with him.

 

He changed into his night gown, ready to call it a night. He pulled the sheets on his bed back, ready to slip under when something made him halt. A sound.

There was a knock on his door. 

Confusion spread in Hao’s head. It was way past the appropriate hours for a visit. Just who could it be? His mother? Matthew? They were the only people he knew who generally disregarded reasonable visiting times. 

Or was it someone dangerous? Suddenly, Hao's heart was pounding. The lock Hanbin had made for him was securely in place, shielding him from any unwelcome intruders. 

Slowly, he made his way to the door. 

“Who is there?” He raised his voice, just loud enough so it could be heard outside. 

“Hao? It’s me!” 

The voice was unmistakable. Hanbin!

His heart was speeding up for completely different reasons now. 

Hanbin had never come to see him so late into the night! What did he want that couldn’t wait until the morning?

Panicked, Hao looked down on himself. He was only wearing his light sleeping robes. They were so fine, if the moonlight fell on them at the right angle, they appeared almost sheer. Painfully embarrassed, he remembered that Hanbin had already seen him like this once, back on his first night here, when he had gotten lost wandering the noble quarters. 

“W-wait a moment!” Hao told him, hurrying over to his closet to find something to cover himself with. 

The first thing his eyes landed on was the coat Hanbin had given him. He hesitated, but then reminded himself that Hanbin was currently standing outside his door in the dark. If he made him wait too long and someone should see him, it could spark nasty rumors. Or worse, make him leave. 

He shrugged the coat on and went to unlock his door. He opened it just a smidge and Hanbin smoothly slipped inside. It had been a while since Hanbin had entered his room without any hesitation. Lately, whenever he had come, he had been really reserved, not wanting to be physically close. It made his heart flutter that that seemed to have changed, but Hao forced himself to stay calm. If Hanbin didn’t want to be close to him, didn’t want him , that was okay. He didn’t need to torture himself with his own hopes and fantasies. 

“Hey,” Hanbin breathed, back pressed against the closed door. 

His gaze drifted up and down Hao’s frame, who shuffled on his feet in one spot. Being perceived by Hanbin was always nerve-wracking, even if he wasn’t merely wearing his sleeping gown and a coat.

In stark contrast, Hanbin was still dressed in his work clothes, every tempting inch of his skin covered up. It only flustered Hao more. 

“What are you doing here?” Hao asked, feeling a bit breathless being met with Hanbin so out of the blue. 

As if torn out of a trance, Hanbin shook his head. His gaze focused. 

“I’m sorry to disturb you so late. I just…I needed to talk to you,” Hanbin explained his surprise appearance. 

“It’s fine,” Hao let him know. “I’m happy to see you.”

It was the truth. There were lots of things he wanted to talk to Hanbin about, but he would be content to just get a glance of him if that was all Hanbin had time for. Their separation had weighed on his heart more than he would like to admit.

“Me too,” Hanbin agreed with a soft smile. It washed some of Hao’s concerns away. 

So Hanbin still wanted to see him. But…then why had he run before? Why had he only come now?

“Did anything happen?” Hao guessed, because he didn’t know what else required this level of urgency. 

“No, nothing happened,” Hanbin denied right away. “I’ve just…missed you.”

Hao’s heart drummed in his chest. Then the ugly, twisted doubts infested his mind. 

“Did you?” He asked, lowering his head to stare at his feet. “You seemed pretty eager to get away from me last time we spoke.”

Maybe it wasn’t fair, accusing Hanbin like that. He had sent flowers every day and he was here now. Just…the gloomy clouds in his mind made him think irrationally.

Hanbin had run away. Hanbin didn’t want him. He wasn’t good enough. He was not…

“Hao,” Hanbin’s voice was a wisp of itself, broken with pain. “I’m so sorry.”

Hao didn’t know why, but his eyes filled with tears once more. Was Hanbin apologizing again for not wanting him? Was this the confirmation that Hao was not enough, or that he was too much? That he just wasn’t right?

“I…I understand,” he tried to be brave, even though a part of his heart was falling apart. “I’m not…You don’t have to feel guilty about not desiring me. I know I’m not…”

He couldn’t finish his sentence. It would hurt too much, speaking those words in front of Hanbin, who he had always dreamed would finally want him. All of him.

“No,” Hanbin said, sounding desperate. He reached for his hands, holding them tightly. “Hao, no, that’s not-”

He sighed, swallowing heavily. 

Hao looked up, shy to meet Hanbin’s gaze. He looked devastated. 

“Why don’t we sit down first?” Hanbin suggested, carefully tugging Hao closer to his bed. 

“Y-you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Hao told him, letting his body be moved. “I know being close to me brings you discomfort.”

Hanbin’s expressions look pained. As if to make a statement, he sat down on Hao’s bed first, before pulling him down so they were sitting next to each other.

“I think there has been a big misunderstanding,” Hanbin told him, still holding his hands in his lap. 

Hao tilted his head. “Y-you ran away. After we…after I touched you,” he whispered what had been laying heavy on his heart all this time. There was nothing to misunderstand. Hao had received the message clearly. Hanbin didn’t want to be touched, at least not by Hao.

Hanbin’s cheeks blushed a vibrant pink color. “I did. And I’m terribly sorry. I shouldn’t have run away.”

The words took a moment to reach him, because they made no sense. If Hanbin was sorry, why did he run? What was he sorry for?

“Then why did you run away?” Hao asked, puzzled. 

The answer might hurt, but the fear of pain had never stopped Hao on his search for knowledge. 

Hanbin breathed in deeply. “Hao, you make me lose my head.”

Hao blinked. Had his actions upset Hanbin that much? Was he mad?

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, not knowing what else to say.

Hanbin shook his head. “No. No, don’t-” He stared at Hao, that almost dangerous gleam in his eyes that made Hao’s breath hitch. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t bring himself to form the words. 

Hanbin had always been too kind. Was he afraid of hurting Hao’s feelings? Was that why he wouldn’t just tell him the truth?

Wanting to make it easier for him, Hao shuffled away so their thighs were no longer touching. He tried his best at a brave smile. 

“It’s alright, Hanbin,” he repeated, because Hanbin had given up so much for him. Hao could give up on this little thing for him in return. “It doesn’t matter to me if you don’t want me.”

Suddenly, the distance between them was gone. Hanbin was invading his space, legs pressed close, a hand on his thigh and one on his left cheek to make Hao look his way. 

Hao gulped. Hanbin’s eyes were so dark, like the night sky without any stars. It was so easy to fall into them, drown in them.

Hanbin huffed, like something was funny. 

“It’s not that I don’t want you. Me not wanting you…that’s…riddiculous,” Hanbin said. He licked over his dry lips, voice all dark and deep. “Hao, I want you too much. I’m afraid if I don’t keep my distance, I will not be able to hold back for much longer.”

Hao’s breath got caught in his lungs. 

“Y-you want me?” He stuttered, scared to have misheard. 

“So much it makes my body burn,” Hanbin confirmed. There was no doubt in his voice.

By now, Hao knew Hanbin meant every word he said. He had never lied to him. Never broken a promise. 

“Why?” He whispered in disbelief. He had spent too much time telling himself he wasn’t desirable…

Hanbin looked like the question pained him.

“Have you seen yourself?” Hanbin stated, like it was obvious. “Dressed in those robes and my coat. Smelling like a dream,” he paused to take in a breath. “You’re beautiful. You’re smart. So smart, it still amazes me. You’re courageous and sweet and kind. Hao, anybody who wouldn’t want you is a fool.”

Hao’s entire body heated up. Compliments…he had never handled them well, but hearing them from Hanbin - it was impossible not to get flustered. 

Usually, he would’ve tried to deny them all, but Hanbin only ever spoke the truth. In Hanbin’s eyes, he was beautiful and smart and all those things he had said about him. 

Perhaps he was no longer denying it because during his time spent at the castle, he had slowly come to believe it himself.

“Really?” The last sprout of his insecurity needed reassurance. 

Instead of answering with words, Hanbin surged forward. His lips met his with a passion Hao wasn’t prepared for. Flames flickered between them, a fire so hot, it burned in the best possible way. 

A heavy breath left his lips as Hanbin finally let go of his lips and he gasped for air. 

“I’ve wanted you since that night I found you lost in the noble quarters,” Hanbin confirmed for him, resting their foreheads against each other. “And I will want you every day for the rest of my life.”

Hao’s heart threatened to burst open his ribcage by how wildly it was beating against his chest. 

“I want you, too,” he whispered in between breaths. 

Hanbin smiled, before looking conflicted. He cleared his throat, pulling away from him. 

A horrible feeling overtook Hao and he clenched his fists into Hanbin’s robes. 

“Don’t-” he said weakly. “Don’t leave again. Please.”

Immediately, Hanbin pulled him back in his arms. “I wasn’t. I won’t.”

Hanbin softly brushed over his back with his hands, subtly scenting him as Hao leaned in even closer. A heavenly sensation settled in his bones as the scent of pinewood engulfed him. Hao let himself be held until the worst of his sudden panic had ebbed away. 

 

Slowly, his emotions made room for reason again.

“Hanbin,” he sat up straight. 

Now that he had learnt that Hanbin did want him, he had a few more questions. 

“Why did you run?”

Hanbin visibly gulped. 

“Because if I give in to my desires…I might not be able to stop,” he said, voice still a little raspy from their kiss. 

“But you want me?” Hao repeated. 

“I do,” Hanbin nodded. 

“And I want you,” Hao said. “What if I didn’t want you to stop?”

A flash of something dark and dangerous lit up Hanbin’s eyes. Only now did Hao recognize it as want . Desire . His body shivered. Hanbin desired him.

Then Hanbin turned his head away, breaking eye-contact with him and the sudden tension faded. 

“We are not mated yet,” Hanbin stated the facts. “You shouldn’t…we shouldn’t…You could…”

A new emotion entered Hao’s mixture of feelings. There was relief and giddiness, want - but hearing Hanbin’s explanation, irritation rose inside of him.

“Sung Hanbin,” he said, voice all fierce. “You are not truly saying what I think you are saying?”

Hanbin glanced at him, but remained quiet. Hao inhaled. 

“Do you believe in purity? Do you think being with you would ruin me? Damage me? Lessen my virtue and my worth as an omega?” 

He sounded angry, Hao realized. He wasn’t angry often, so it felt a bit foreign raising his voice.

Hanbin’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “No, Hao, no!” He took his hands. “That’s all nonsense. Nothing could ever ruin you in my eyes. Nothing could ever damage you. Purity and all that…I don’t believe in any of it, trust me.”

Hao’s heart calmed down. Deep down, he had known that Hanbin wasn’t the type of alpha to believe in those things. But the past few days had made him feel vulnerable. It made him question everything.

“Then why shouldn’t we?” Hao asked him, voice now back to its usual softness. 

Hanbin let out a heavy breath. 

“Because it’s not fair,” he argued. “For me, there will be no risk. There is no purity for alphas. If word got around, you would face all the consequences alone.”

“I thought you didn’t care about society,” Hao pointed out, not understanding what Hanbin meant. 

“I don’t. I really don’t, but many other people do. This would take your choice away, Hao. If you give your all to me and people found out, I would be the only option left for you. It’s not fair. We’re not mated yet. I don’t want to take your choice away from you.” 

Finally, something clicked in Hao’s mind. It wasn’t that Hanbin didn’t want him. It wasn’t that Hanbin cared about purity or virtue. 

No, Hanbin was insecure. Insecure that Hao would change his mind by the end of the year. If they would be with each other, Hanbin was right, it would limit Hao’s options. It would leave him no choice but to mate Hanbin. 

Hanbin had waited years for him. It had always been Hao for him and no one else. He was afraid Hao didn’t feel the same.

Hao lifted his hands, softly stroking over Hanbin’s high cheekbones. Hanbin’s eyes were filled with tenderness. Right in front of him, Hanbin had made himself vulnerable. Hao fell even more in love with him.

“There is no choice for me,” Hao told him softly. “It’s you. I’ll only ever want you. Just you. For now and all future days.”

The words had come from his heart. He could feel Hanbin’s breath stop. 

“But what if-”

“No what ifs,” Hao interrupted him. “I’ve made my choice. You are it for me.”

“But-”

“Are you going to change your mind about wanting to mate me before the end of the year?” Hao intercepted once more. 

“Never,” Hanbin replied, sounding more than sure of himself. 

“Then you have to trust me that I feel the same way,” Hao told him firmly. He moved his hand from Hanbin’s cheek to his chest, feeling his beating heart underneath his palm. “I hold your heart. But you hold mine, too.”

For the first time, it was Hanbin who was holding back tears. Even with watery eyes, he looked perfect. Mesmerized, he watched how a single perl dropped down his cheek.

“I’m so in love with you,” Hanbin whispered. “I can’t believe I found you again.”

“We found each other,” Hao smiled, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Hanbin’s tear-streaken cheek. He could taste the salt, but somehow, that only made it better. 

Hanbin chased after him, capturing his lips in a kiss that made Hao feel like floating. 

“Hao,” Hanbin’s voice sounded rough now. “You really don’t want me to stop?”

An excited tingle spread in Hao’s chest. 

“No. I want you,” he confirmed shakily. 

He could feel Hanbin’s smirk as he grazed his lips once more. 

“And you’ve never…?”

This time Hao could feel the blush creep up his face.

Hanbin was his first love. His first kiss. His first everything.

“Never,” he breathed into Hanbin’s mouth. 

Hanbin licked against him, making Hao whimper. 

“Then maybe next time, I won’t stop,” he whispered, before pulling away.

The scent of pinewood still laid thick in his room, making Hao feel woozy so it was hard to comprehend Hanbin’s words. 

“Next time?” He asked, barely able to hide his disappointment as Hanbin let go of his hands. 

“Mhh,” Hanbin hummed, and Hao pouted. “Don’t tempt me,” Hanbin warned him, gaze flickering down to his lips. 

Hao blushed - he hadn’t meant to! Did Hanbin seriously get affected by such simple actions?

“It’s late and you deserve something better. You deserve something romantic and perfect,” Hanbin told him.

“I just need you,” Hao said, because that’s all that mattered to him. Everything with Hanbin would be perfect. 

Hanbin laughed fondly. “Please, I know it’s selfish, but let me give this to you,” Hanbin asked of him. 

Of course, Hanbin would insist. Perhaps, the silly romantic part in Hao, the one that had swooned over the love stories in novels when he had been younger, even felt a little giddy. 

“Okay,” he agreed. He batted his eyelashes at Hanbin and bit down on his lip. “So does this mean you’re running away again right now?”

Hanbin groaned in pain, his gaze glued to the red of Hao’s lips. It made Hao giggle. 

“Don’t make this harder for me,” he begged, fingers curled tightly in his lap and jaw clenched. 

It exhilarated Hao noticing those things. Was this really his doing?

He stood up first. He hesitated for a second. Was he really bold enough to do this? His heart pounded like a drum. 

As if by accident, he let Hanbin’s coat drop to the floor, now only clad in his sleeping gown. Not turning around just yet, Hao walked to his door, undoing the lock. 

Once he was done, he spun around to check Hanbin’s reaction.

He was sitting on his bed, frozen in time as his dark gaze narrowed on Hao’s frame. Hao nearly laughed. This was fun . 

“Hanbin?” He asked innocently enough. “Didn’t you want to leave?”

Hanbin blinked. “Right,” he said slowly. 

He rose to his feet, eyes not leaving Hao as he made his way to the door. 

“Is anything wrong?” Hao asked, barely able to hide his teasing grin now as Hanbin reached him.

Hanbin stared at him a moment longer. But just a moment. 

Before Hao could catch up, he was pressed against his own door, kissed like there would be no tomorrow. 

When Hanbin separated from his lips, Hao had nearly forgotten his own name. 

Hanbin shot forward once more, stealing one last kiss. 

“I-” Hao breathed. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Hanbin told him, voice sounding deliciously raspy. 

Hao shivered. It took him a while to come back to his senses. When he did, Hanbin was already gone. 

He locked the door. Then he jumped into the air, before giddily dancing his way over to his bed. 

Could love really taste this sweet?

 

The next morning Hao woke up with a warm heart. His dreams had been full of Hanbin. It did make him feel a bit silly how absolutely smitten he was - but it was his first love. He was entitled to feel a little over the moon. 

Hao was humming underneath his breath as he started getting ready for the day. Now that his mind was cleared of most worries, he had no doubt it would be a productive day. Sadly, they had not yet received any reply to the letters they had sent out. Min Rei lived far, so Hao could understand that if she even decided to answer, it would take a while. 

Park Gunhee, however, resided in their kingdom, just a day's worth of travel away. Hao really hoped he hadn’t offended her with his inquiry to meet. After all, there had to be unpleasant memories attached to his name. It’s been some time since he’d seen Gunwook as well. Hopefully, his curiosity hadn’t affected him either. It had been Gunwook who had revealed Park Gunhee’s whereabouts to him. Perhaps, she had wanted to stay hidden. Something that Hao had now destroyed. 

Had it been the wrong move? But those names were the only hope they had to get any proof against the Yoon family. The more witnesses they had, the more believable Hao’s accusation would become. He was just a son, desperate to get justice for the murder of his father. Even if they didn’t want to talk to him, Hao hoped they could at least understand that he had no ill intentions.

Lost in thoughts, Hao slipped on his robes, binding them tightly around his waist and combed through his hair. Once he deemed himself presentable, he collected his quills and empty papers, all set to work for the day. 

However, before he could head out, there was a knock on his door. 

Was Taerae coming by for breakfast? He had more often than not kept him company the past few days, knowing that Hao had been feeling a bit down. 

Not thinking too much, Hao unlocked and opened his door. On the opposite side, it wasn’t Taerae awaiting him. 

Park Gunwook was standing to his full height. Where his expression had usually been bright and curious, his eyes were now stern and serious. He was holding a bouquet nigellas of in his hands.

Even though Hao had just been thinking about him, his sudden appearance surprised him. 

“Zhang Hao,” Gunwook greeted him, even foregoing his usual bow. “We need to talk.”

Notes:

thank you for reading!!

hehe i feel everyone on twitter was really interested in hanbins pov for a change huhu im sorry its only such a short part, i will try to include it again in future chapters!!
(i was actually considering writing a little spin-off once this story is done, where i write some of the scenes from bin's perspective, but im not really sure yet if that would be interesting to read)

anyway!! happy hao day!! mine and hao's birthday are actually only three days apart, so this is an extra happy time in my life :D
please eat a big piece of cake for both of us!! :3

Chapter 25: Sweat Peas

Summary:

Sweat Pea. variety of meanings, including pleasure, departure, and good-bye; representing the future, a symbolism of hope, anticipation, and potential.

Notes:

heyyy sorry for the delay, pls enjoy :3

Hao was pouring tea into cups with a calmness that he didn’t know he possessed. His hands were steady as he put the kettle back down, not betraying how nervous he was feeling on the inside. 

Gunwook was observing him silently, curious eyes following his every move. Hao cleared his throat and sat down on the other chair behind his desk. 

The bouquet of flowers Gunwook had brought him today rested awkwardly in between them. Slowly, Hao raised his cup to his lips, taking a careful sip. The liquid was scorching hot, quickly making him put the beverage back down. 

“So,” Hao started the conversation, not standing the building tension any longer. “You wanted to talk.”

Gunwook had always looked like a little brother to him, but at the moment, his gaze was serious. Perhaps, Gunwook was more mature than Hao had given him credit for so far.

“You owe me an explanation,” Gunwook stated clearly. 

Hao exhaled, trying to relieve some of his anxiety. “What do you need me to explain?”

“You wrote a letter to my mother after I told you about her. It distressed her greatly for a few days,” Gunwook told him. 

Of course, Gunwook knew about the letter. Hao knew what it was like living in the country-side. A letter was as exciting as it got. Plus, Gunwook was smart, smarter than most people. He must’ve connected the dots between Hao’s sudden curiosity and the arrival of the letter in no time.

“I’m sorry to hear that. It wasn’t my intention to upset your mother,” Hao apologized. Hearing that Park Gunhee had been troubled because of him was his worst fear coming true. 

If his theories were right, he could very much understand if the Park family would want nothing to do with them. That’s why he had been hesitant to reach out to her. He didn’t want to force them to speak up against their will.

“What exactly was your intention?” Gunwook inquired. He had always had a bright mind, Hao had known it the first time he had met him. 

“It’s complicated,” Hao bit down on his lip. He trusted Gunwook, but The Rose Project had already caused his family so much harm. Could he really subject Gunwook to the same fate by involving him? 

Gunwook sighed, obviously frustrated with the lack of information. “Why does my mother know your name?”

Hao perked up. “She does?”

“Zhang - that’s your name, isn’t it? She recognized right away,” Gunwook confirmed. 

Hao’s heart beat wildly. So Park Gunhee had known his father. 

“It’s not only my name,” Hao muttered vaguely. Gunwook understood right away. 

“Scholar Zhang?” He whispered. “She has never talked about him before. My parents are simple people, they don’t own any scriptures.”

“Gunwook,” Hao said, scooting a little closer. “Did your mother say anything to you? About my letter?”

Gunwook eyed him cautiously. He was clearly protective of his family and he might have good reason to be. 

“Like I said, she was pretty upset. She refused to talk to my father about it at first.”

“Oh-”

“But after a few days, something changed,” Gunwook intercepted him. “She sent me to find you. She said it was important.”

Hao could hear his own heartbeat in his ears. “What does she want?”

“To meet you. She said sending a letter would be too dangerous. She wants to talk to you in person,” Gunwook answered. “As fast as possible.”

Hao rubbed his hands over his knees, feeling that they had become sweaty with nerves. Park Gunhee wanted to talk to him. She had knowledge and she wanted to share it with him. 

“Tell her I’ll come to see her as soon as I can,” Hao said, not even needing to think twice about it. 

If Park Gunhee was willing to see him, he would follow her request. At this point in time, she was the only person who could help him solve his father’s case. Hao was desperate to speak with her. For weeks, all he wanted was to speak to someone who had been there, who would talk to him. Was he finally going to find the truth?

Gunwook huffed. “I’m not telling her anything unless you give me some answers!”

It was more than obvious that Gunwook was frustrated. It seemed like Gunhee hadn’t told him anything either. Hao knew all too well what it felt like if your own mother kept secrets from you. His own was still shielding him from the truth as well. That’s why he needed to speak to someone else, someone like Gunhee.

Having compassion, Hao let out a calm breath. “What do you want to know?”

“Why does my mom want to see you all of a sudden? What did you write in that letter?” Gunwook shot out right away. Just like Hao, he seemed to have prepared all his questions in advance and would not leave until he got some answers.

Hao almost smiled. Gunwook’s courage was admirable. He saw a little of himself in his desire to search for knowledge. 

“I’ve asked her to meet me,” Hao replied honestly. “I was hoping she had some information for me.”

“What kind of information?” Gunwook pried. 

Hao hesitated. How much could he tell Gunwook? He trusted him, he truly did - but this was sensitive information. Information that would endanger Gunwook’s safety.

Still, Gunwook was an omega, just like him. Gunwook was a thinker, just like him. 

It felt wrong, leaving him in the dark. Especially now that Hao was involving his family in his search for the truth. Besides, Gunwook had proven that he was mature and an adult. He could make his own decisions.

“If I tell you, you might be at risk,” Hao still wanted to make sure Gunwook knew what he was getting into. “Are you sure you want to know?”

Gunwook looked fierce. “I want to know. Please, tell me.”

Hao nodded. He hadn’t truly expected another answer.

“I believe your mother and my father used to be quite close back when they were both residing in the castle,” Hao told him. 

“What makes you think that?” 

“My father used to research flowers and plants a lot, as you know. And your mother worked in the gardens. I don't think it’s that unlikely they’ve met there,” Hao said. “And her name was mentioned in my father’s notes.”

Gunwook took a second to comprehend, expression shifting with every new thought that formed in his head. 

“Why would your father mention her? She was not a scholar,” Gunwook pointed out the obvious flaw. 

“Before my father’s death, he was working on a secret project. It spoke up about the injustice omegas are facing in our kingdom. I think my father discussed it with your mother before he passed,” Hao decided to just be honest. 

Gunwook’s mind seemed blown. He was silent for a moment, as if trying to make sense of the situation. It must be a surprise to him, hearing that his mother had worked together with a scholar when he knew her as nothing but a farmer. 

“He discussed it with my mom?”

Hao nodded. 

“I think she was one of only five people who knew about it. It’s a…revolutionary scripture. It could be seen as treason, that’s why associating and knowing about it might be dangerous. It’s not something you leave just lying around. He must’ve really trusted her,” Hao confirmed. “I also think it was the reason why my father was murdered.”

Gunwook’s eyes fell out of his head. 

“B-but you- they said it was an accident!” 

“I think someone covered up the murder,” Hao replied. “And I think your mother might be one of the few people who could tell me more about it. That’s why I reached out to her.”

Gunwook let out a long breath, resting back in his chair. He looked like he had just done some exhausting physical work. 

“ My mom? Are you sure?” Gunwook asked, clearly still in disbelief. 

To be fair, Hao had just dropped more than one bomb on him. 

“I am,” Hao assured him. He gave him a serious look. “Gunwook, everything I just told you is strictly confidential. You cannot share this knowledge with anyone, or you might be in danger. Do you understand?”

Gunwook brushed his hair back. “Yes, of course. I understand.” Something seemed to gnaw at him, so Hao waited patiently for him to continue. “Is this why…we had to leave the castle? Because my mom knew too much?”

Gunwook proved his smartness once again. Easily, he had spotted the connection between the destiny of Hao’s father and that of his own family. 

“The timeline matches. Your family left right after my father died. I suspect it to be related,” Hao agreed with him. “I’m sorry.”

Gunwook frowned. “Why are you sorry?”

“If it hadn’t been for my family, your family wouldn’t have suffered so much,” Hao said, guilt pulling at him. “And now I’m involving you again, even though I know it’s dangerous.”

“It’s not your fault. And I believe my mom would want to help you,” Gunwook shook his head. “She seemed pretty determined when she told me to find you.”

Hao wasn’t sure if Gunwook had truly grasped how precarious the situation was, but it still felt good to hear those words. 

“I’m grateful to her. I’ve never known her, but she seemed to have shown my father great loyalty,” Hao spoke softly. “And she raised such a brave son. I cannot wait to meet her.”

Gunwook blushed at the praise. He took his cup of tea and took a long sip. Hao suppressed chuckling.

 

“When can we expect your visit then?” Gunwook asked him after he put his cup back down. 

“I’m not sure. I’ll have to discuss leaving with my own mother and arrange for transportation. But I hope to arrive within a week’s time,” Hao replied, already worried how he’d explain to his mother that he’d travel for a few days. “I’ll probably bring a few other people with me. All trusted friends.”

“Alright,” Gunwook hummed. “I’ll let her know.”

“That would be great, thank you,” Hao said. He still couldn’t quite fathom that soon he’d get to speak to someone who had known about the original Rose Project. 

“Hao, that scripture you told me about,” Gunwook mumbled sheepishly. “Is it possible for me to read it? I’m just…curious to see what it’s about…if you think it cost your father his life.”

Hao smiled. Natural curiosity could never be contained. And clearly, Gunwook’s curiosity knew no bounds.

“As of now, there is only one copy that I cannot give away,” Hao told him, and Gunwook sat back disappointed. “But,” Hao smiled. “If you want, I can give you the short form I’ve been working on. It contains the most important arguments."

Gunwook’s eyes sparkled and he nodded eagerly. Hao laughed. 

Seemed like he had to write up one more flying paper.

 

No matter how much Hao wanted to pack his things and head straight out to meet Park Gunhee, there were things that needed to be done first. 

First of all, the entire Rose Project should know about this development. It’s been a while since they had all met up together - back before both Jiwoong and Hanbin had joined. Maybe it was overdue to give everyone a status report.

Although, with all these people involved, it got harder to find a time that worked for everyone. Only two days after he had spoken to Gunwook did Hao manage to determine a time that worked for all of them. 

As always, the meeting spot was his father’s study after the night had taken over. Hao was lighting up all the candles, preparing the room so they could all comfortably see. It would probably get a bit crowded. The study was designed for just one scholar, not seven people, but they’d make it work. 

Hanbin and Jiwoong were the first two to arrive. Hao reckoned that was more because of Hanbin, who immediately took the matches from him to lighten the last few candles. Hao was still nervous to see him here, but this was what Hanbin had wanted when he had asked to be involved. Besides, Hanbin was the person whose help he would need most. 

“So this is the infamous Zhang study,” Jiwoong commented as he walked around the room. 

Hao realized that Jiwoong had never seen it from the inside.

Hao smiled softly. “I don’t think my father ever expected so many people to occupy his space.”

“It’s your space, too, now,” Jiwoong told him. “You are a Zhang, too.”

Hao flushed a little at his words. Jiwoong was the only person who hadn’t been told about the Rose Project by him first. No, Jiwoong had joined the Rose Project on Matthew’s account. Sometimes, Hao wasn’t sure what Jiwoong thought about all of this. It was Jiwoong's duty to protect the Sung family and it was his heart’s duty to protect Matthew. Both of whom were now involved in a dangerous undertaking due to Hao. 

It meant a lot that despite all of this, Jiwoong seemed to trust Hao. His gentle eyes and supportive smile made Hao relax a little more, seeing him in his father’s chambers.

Hanbin had put the last of the candle down on the desk, slipping into Hao’s side and sliding his arm around his waist. 

“I think it’s right we meet here. It’s where The Rose Project was brought into life,” Hanbin spoke softly. He gave Hao a smitten look. “I think your father would be very proud of you.”

Hao blushed, quickly hiding his face from Hanbin’s gaze. 

Luckily, he was saved by a knock on the door. 

Taerae and Matthew arrived together. Matthew was holding a tray of tea in his hands, which Jiwoong took over right away.

“I thought we’d be the first,” Matthew commented cheekily. “But it seems like you beat us to it.”

“I wanted to come a little later, but Hanbin was becoming unbearable,” Jiwoong teased, making Hanbin gasp in betrayal. 

“I was not!” He fought back. 

Hao giggled, chest swelling with fondness. Even after all this time, hearing that Hanbin was just as happy to see him as Hao was, made his heart race.

Lastly, Gyuvin and Ricky arrived only a few minutes later, letting themselves inside with the key Ricky had made back in the day. 

“Sorry we’re late,” Ricky apologized sheepishly. “Had to take a detour to avoid the guards.”

Jiwoong and Hanbin started to bow in respect, but upon noticing that nobody else regarded the prince with such courtesy, stopped in their movements. 

Ricky regarded them with a kind smile and a dismissive nod, making them sit down.

 

It was getting cozy now as everybody took a seat. Ricky, Matthew and Taerae squeezed together onto the windowsill, while Jiwoong remained standing by the desk. Gyuvin sat down on the small side table and Hanbin pressed close to his side on the chair. 

Everybody was looking at Hao expectantly, waiting for him to begin the meeting. 

It was still a bit of a foreign concept to him, being the person looked at for guidance. He had never declared himself the leader of the project, nor would he consider himself to be the sole decision maker - but everyone still respected his opinion. Like what Hao said mattered. 

He took a deep breath. 

“First, thank you all for coming. I know it’s not ideal, always meeting up at night, so I appreciate you all for taking the time,” Hao began, regarding everyone with genuine gratitude. “I suppose we also have to make some introductions.”

He turned to Gyuvin and Ricky. 

“This is Kim Jiwoong, a guard for the castle. He is assigned to the Sung family,” Hao introduced Jiwoong first, who leisurely raised his hand in greeting. 

Ricky lowered his head gracefully. “Thank you for your service. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

It was rare to see Ricky use his power as a prince, so at times Hao completely forgot about the position he held at court. At these moments, however, it was more than evident that Ricky indeed was a true prince, his silent grace and gratitude telling of his character. 

“It’s my honor,” Jiwoong replied, his expression softening up a little as he took in Ricky’s non-threatening presence. As a guard, he was still under the command of a member of the royal family - but everybody in the room could sense that Ricky would not use his power over him.

“Erm…yeah, and I’m Gyuvin, yes, it’s totally nice to meet you, haha,” Gyuvin chimed in, his quirky charm and lanky limbs always a stark contrast to Ricky’s effortless grace.

Jiwoong gave him a look, slightly lowering his head. “Prince Gyuvin, from the Northern Empire. My honor.”

Gyuvin awkwardly scrambled with his long arms. “No, Gyuvin is just fine. After all, we’re all equal here, right?”

He glanced unsurely at Hao, who couldn’t help but giggle. He had never spoken much with Gyuvin privately, but every time he interacted with him, his sympathy for the awkward prince grew.

“Right,” he confirmed with a nod.

Jiwoong also smirked, posture becoming less stiff. He looked at Hao, as if quietly wanting to communicate to him that he had done well choosing the people he trusted. Hao returned his smile. 

Then he turned to Hanbin, who was sitting impossibly close next to him. 

“And this is Hanbin, a nobleman, from the Sung family and-”

“And your mate,” Ricky interrupted his introduction with a knowing grin. 

Hao’s ears set on fire. “He’s not- not yet! We’re just-”

“Please, your names are always whispered as a set. I’ve known of his name as long as I’ve known of yours,” Ricky told him with a cheeky glint in his eyes. 

Hao glanced at Hanbin for help, who only leaned back smugly, apparently very satisfied with that information.

Hao cleared his throat. 

“Well, anyway,” Hao diverted the attention. “He’s joined The Rose Project.”

“It’s nice to meet you again. Under more pleasant circumstances,” Ricky addressed Hanbin directly now. 

“I agree,” Hanbin smiled. After all, his first contact with the prince had been after Matthew’s injury, when Hao had begged him to find Ricky. “You, too,” he added towards Gyuvin. 

“Right, yeah, so much nicer like this,” Gyuvin scratched his neck, gaze switching between Hao and Hanbin. “And congratulations on mating, I guess?”

“We’re not-”

“Thank you,” Hanbin chuckled, taking Hao’s hand who spluttered at the reply. “Though I have to inform you that in our kingdom we only mate at the end of the year, so I’m still courting Hao.”

“Oh,” Gyuvin breathed, embarrassed. Hao wasn’t sure if his own face was redder or Gyuvin’s. 

Everybody else in the room seemed to be amused greatly at his expense. Maybe Hao should reconsider inviting them all at the same time to discuss things. 

“So,” Taerae was the one who took mercy on him, getting the meeting back on topic. “You don’t summon us for no reason. Do we have any new information? Did Lord Yoon talk to you?”

Hao was grateful to get back on topic. He cleared his throat and straightened in his seat. 

“Right. I do have some important news and I wanted to discuss it with all of you,” Hao said. “It’s not so much to do with The Rose Project but more with my father’s murder.”

The tension in the room rose. Hao could practically feel the eyes on him.

“You don’t say…has your letter been answered? The one to Park Gunhee?” Taerae concluded out loud, mind sharp as usual. 

“Not directly. But her son invited me to go see her as soon as possible,” Hao answered. “It sounded like she knew something.”

“That’s great news!” Matthew exclaimed excitedly. “Maybe with her testament, we could take Lord Yoon down! Then it would be much easier to distribute The Rose Project as well.”

Hao sighed. He wished he could share Matthew’s optimism. “Maybe. But even with her testament…”

“It wouldn’t be enough,” Jiwoong finished his sentence. “She is an omega servant. Her words will not hold much weight against that of a noble alpha.”

“If she’s even brave enough to go on record,” Taerae hummed. 

That’s what Hao feared as well. Park Gunhee was a lead, someone who could give them new information. But even with her as a witness, they couldn’t implicate Lord Yoon of murder. It was weak evidence at best. To take down a man with power like Yoon, they needed more. 

They needed-

“Min Rei,” Gyuvin spoke out loud. “She is an alpha. A scholar, a respected healer, and a foreigner. Nobody could accuse her of ulterior motives if their statements matched.”

Hao nodded. That’s the conclusion he had reached as well. That was their only hope. Alone Park Gunhee’s statement could be dismissed, but backed up by someone as reputable as Min Rei, it might be enough to get a real trial. 

“Yes. By chance, you haven’t heard from her in the last few days, have you?” Hao asked the foreign prince. 

After all, Gyuvin had sent the letter in his name, so the reply would arrive to him as well. 

Gyuvin gave him an apologetic look as he shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. I have not.”

Hao’s shoulders deflated. But he didn’t give up hope yet. 

If the letter had reached Min Rei, she might still consider her options. It wasn’t impossible for her to reply. And they still had Park Gunhee. Perhaps with her information, they could unveil new places to search for evidence. 

The murder would be brought to justice. Hao wouldn’t rest until it was.

“Then we start with Park Gunhee,” Hao decided. “She wanted to talk to me as soon as possible.”

“I will take you,” Hanbin offered right away. “I know the way. I’ve been to the flower fields.”

Hao gave Hanbin a soft smile. He had hoped for that. After all, Hao was entirely unprepared to travel on his own. 

“Thank you,” he said, squeezing Hanbin’s hand. “But I doubt my mother would let us leave on our own. It would look suspicious.”

“You mean, it would look scandalous,” Ricky chimed in with a wicked grin. 

Hao glared at him, forcing his blush down. 

“I can accompany you. The Sung family doesn’t like their only son traveling solo anyway. It will not look suspicious,” Jiwoong suggested. “Besides, I acted as your chaperone before.”

“That’s very kind,” Hao said, regarding the guard with a grateful look. 

Jiwoong’s support meant a lot to him. He had the most experience protecting people and Hao hoped he could rely on him to help keep everyone as safe as possible.

“You’ll need a servant, too. It’ll be a lengthy trip, someone needs to care for you,” Matthew grinned, clearly more interested in going on a journey than fulfilling his duty as a servant. 

“You can come along, if you want to,” Hao allowed it. He glanced at Taerae. “But I think for my mother to agree, your presence will be much more vital.”

“Me?” Taerae asked, surprised. 

Hao nodded. “She knows you. Trusts you. She’ll not suspect anything if I say you’ll be by my side the entire time.”

Taerae shrugged, but didn’t seem to mind joining the trip. “Sure. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you,” Hao smiled. He couldn’t imagine going on this journey without Taerae, who had been with him since the very beginning. 

“So everyone is going except us?” Ricky pointed out, motioning to Gyuvin and himself. 

“I think two princes joining our excursion might draw too much attention,” Hao voiced his concerns. 

Ricky hummed in agreement. Then his eyes brightened with an idea. 

“Then why don’t Gyuvin and I travel in a different direction?” He suggested. 

Gyuvin made a confused noise. “Where do you want to go?”

“Home. Your home,” Ricky stated. ”Min Rei might not write to us, but she might talk to us.”

Gyuvin nearly fell off his makeshift seat in surprise. 

“You wanna go north? To the castle?” He asked in disbelief. 

“Yes,” Ricky confirmed certainly. Then he looked at Hao. “What do you think?” 

Hao felt conflicted. It wasn’t a bad idea, but at the same time, it was a risk. 

“I don’t want to ambush Min Rei into giving a statement. She might have good reasons to remain quiet,” Hao worried.

“I don’t think it’s a bad idea,” Jiwoong chimed in. “Many people don’t like to put things into writing, because it might affect them later. It could be used against her. But she might speak to us privately. Even if she doesn’t go on record, talking to her could be worth it to get information.”

Hao always thought of Jiwoong as a reasonable and sensible person. Hearing his reasoning calmed his doubts a little.

“And we will not force her,” Ricky assured him. “If she truly doesn’t want to see us, we will leave her alone.”

Hao contemplated for a second. In the end, he agreed with his friends. It might be worth a shot. 

“Fine. While we will travel to the southern border, you will travel to the Northern Empire,” he said, laying out their plan. “Once we’re all back here, we can hopefully put the puzzle pieces together.”

The next day, Hao was nervously kneading his hands. Hao knew that the right timing was the most important thing to have this conversation. He also knew that he wanted to leave for the flower fields as soon as possible. 

Two things that weren’t easy to align with each other. 

Hao has practiced patience in the past, he wasn’t unfamiliar with waiting. It was just challenging when everything inside of you screamed at you to just pack your things and run. 

But Hao overcame these urges. He was not a fool. 

He had asked his mother to meet him for tea in the afternoon. He had asked Matthew to help him prepare a private table in a secluded part of the courtyard. He had even paid the kitchen servants to prepare his mother’s favorite treat - lemon pie. He knew getting her in a good mood was the key to getting what he wanted. 

His mother was not a mean person. She was strict. Protective. Controlling, at worst. But she had also been young once. When he was little, she had told him stories about how she had traveled through the kingdom. Her parents had been merchants as well, selling all kinds of fabrics. Unfortunately, Hao had never gotten to meet them, but according to his mother, they had been great adventurers. 

He hoped he could appeal to this side of her today. 

After considering it for a long time, Hao had decided to invite Hanbin as well. After all, it was Hanbin’s carriage taking them. Also, Hao hoped it would look less suspicious if it came across as Hanbin’s idea to travel for a few days. His mother had become so soft lately when Hao had mentioned their love for each other. Almost as if nostalgia was making her remember her own romance.

 

As planned, Hanbin arrived a few minutes early. Hao supposed if they wanted to convince his mother, it would be a good start to be punctual. 

“Hey,” Hanbin smiled, joining Hao at the table. “Have you been waiting for long?”

He was wearing his usual teaching attire, but it was obvious that he had taken some time to straighten up his appearance after giving his lesson. 

“I helped Matthew set the table,” Hao let him know. 

Hanbin nodded in understanding. He glanced around the courtyard. “I bet he couldn’t resist eavesdropping. He must be lingering somewhere.”

Hao laughed. “I have no doubts about that.”

Hanbin brushed his palms over his nice trousers. Hao was afraid they’d become wet with sweat, so he reached for them to prevent the worst. 

Hanbin gave him a nervous smile as he intertwined their fingers. 

“What are you so worried about?” Hao asked him gently. “You know, she might not show it, but I’m fairly certain that my mother has grown quite fond of you.”

Hanbin grimaced. “It’s just been a while since I’ve seen her. Last time, I didn’t know about…everything.”

“Well, absence makes the heart grow fonder,” Hao nudged him playfully. 

Hanbin rewarded him with a more genuine smile. “I’m also worried she might misunderstand my intentions. I am taking you away to my family’s cottage, where we’ll be without her supervision.”

Honestly, Hao hadn’t even thought about that . He had believed his mother would have reservations about letting him leave with Hanbin for a few days, but mostly because she had never let him travel anywhere on his own before. Not because they might…

His cheeks heated up. He leaned over to Hanbin, making sure his words couldn’t be overheard by anyone else. 

“And what if those were your intentions?” He asked shyly. 

Since they had last talked about it, Hao’s mind had been wondering what Hanbin was planning. He might be practiced in patience, but this was a new kind of longing that was hard to withstand. Staying away from Hanbin was getting harder every day. 

Hanbin’s eyes widened at his words. His ears turned pink. 

“Well…then…that can be arranged,” Hanbin mumbled, voice low and dry. He coughed, before turning his head away. “But I still wouldn’t want your mother to know.”

Hao giggled, finding Hanbin endearing. Exhilaration spread in his chest. He hadn’t thought it possible, but his wish to travel as soon as possible had become even more desperate. 

 

Before they could discuss this topic any further, his mother appeared in the courtyard. 

Hanbin eagerly jumped to his feet. He greeted his mother with a respectful bow, pulling out her chair for her. 

“Lord Sung, I didn’t know you’d be joining us,” his mother commented, throwing Hao a curious glance as she settled down. 

“I invited him,” Hao explained, taking over serving tea and pie. 

His mother nodded. She noticed the pie flavor and threw Hao another glance before taking a bite. She raised her eyebrows. 

Of course, she was a smart woman, she knew what Hao was doing. She must sense that something was up. Hao had never asked her out for tea before. 

“Well, it’s good to see you again, Lord Sung,” his mother said. “I’ve heard you’ve been treating my Hao right. I’m grateful he seems to be in good hands with you.”

“Ah, it’s my honor,” Hanbin muttered sweetly, humble as ever. 

“I’m also grateful for your discretion. Hao told me he informed you about my late husband’s testament,” his mother continued. “I think you can understand why we’ve not been honest with you sooner. Such sensitive information in the wrong hands can be quite destructive. I hope you will not break the trust Hao and I have put in you.”

“I completely understand. I would’ve probably done the same in your place. You have to protect what’s yours,” Hanbin  found the right words as always. “I hope Hao has also told you that I don’t want any of your husband’s belongings. My family has their own fortune. I will not touch yours.”

His mother eyed Hanbin warily. “As you know, the fortune will be yours to do with what you want. If you want me to continue being the estate manager, I can act in your will.”

Hanbin shook his head. “I want it to be yours, not to manage, but to own. Legally.”

His mother snorted. “You must be aware that it’s not possible.” She reached for her cup and took a slow sip. “But I will be grateful if you allow Hao and me unlimited access.”

Hanbin’s expression looked sour, like he hated that solution. Every party at the table knew, however, that it was the best solution at the moment. At least, Hao hoped, until they got The Rose Project ready to publish. The inheritance and ownership laws were some of the first things he wanted to change.

“That’s the least I can do,” Hanbin said. His fingers clenched into his trousers again. 

Hao noticed and took his hand. This shouldn’t be up for discussion in the first place, neither of them liked the power imbalance they found themselves in. Despite not wanting it, Hanbin had been given power over their life assets. 

If Hanbin wasn’t such a good person, everything could’ve looked very different for them. 

His mother knew that as well as Hao did, probably even more. 

“So,” she said, putting her cup down. “Why don’t you two tell me why you’ve wanted to meet me here in the first place?”

The change in topic was welcomed, as it eased the uncomfortable tension surrounding them. 

Hao squeezed Hanbin’s hand. This was what was truly important. 

“Yes, we have a request,” Hao started carefully. 

His mother hummed. “About the next ball?”

Hao frowned, confused. “The next ball? That hasn’t even been announced yet.”

His mother only shrugged. “It will be in two weeks.”

Of course, his mother knew. Hao didn’t even question her sources, as she was usually right about these things. 

Hanbin seemed impressed, not as used to his mother’s networking as Hao was. But the next ball was far on his list of things Hao wanted to discuss. 

“No, it’s not about the ball,” he denied. 

Now his mother looked curious. She leaned forward, placing her elbow on the table and gracefully resting her chin on her hand. 

“What is it then?” She inquired, squinting her eyes. 

Hanbin looked at him, taking a deep breath. “I want to take Hao out. My parents own a cottage up in the south of the kingdom and this might be the last few weeks with nice weather before the storms rage over this land.”

They seemed to actually have surprised his mother, which was not an easy thing to do. 

“You want to travel?” She followed up. 

“Yes,” Hanbin nodded. “I wanted to ask for your permission to take Hao to see the cottage.”

His mother remained quiet for a moment, only making Hao shuffle in his seat nervously. It was hard to read her face, his mother was practiced in hiding her true thoughts. 

“I see,” she said, leaning back in her chair and glancing in between the two of them. “You think it’s a smart idea to travel just the two of you? Surely, you must know what it will look like if you leave on your own without a chaperone.”

Hanbin swallowed. “That’s why my guard and servant will come with us. They have traveled with me many times before. My guard also acted as my chaperone this courting season.”

His mother didn’t look convinced.

“Taerae will come, too,” Hao chimed in. “It will be a trip to enjoy the remaining summer days.”

HIs mother pursed her lips, but the mention of Taerae’s name had made her features soften. 

“Please, mother, I have never seen the south before. I have never traveled anywhere but father’s cottage,” Hao asked her. “Hanbin’s told me they have beautiful flower fields there.”

“Flower fields?” His mother repeated. Something must’ve intrigued her about that, as there was a new twinkle in her eyes. She looked at Hanbin. “Where do you say that cottage of yours is?”

“In the south, near the border. I’ve ordered flowers from the fields all courting season long. I don’t have a map with me right now, so I can’t show you,” Hanbin answered. “I’ve been there multiple times, though, so I know the way well.”

His mother’s suspicion didn’t seem to fade. She seemed to debate something with herself. Finally, she sighed. 

“Fine,” she gave in. “When will you leave and how many days will you be gone?”

“Four days. Five at most,” Hao promised right away. “And we’ll leave the day after tomorrow. We will be back for the next ball.”

“You seem to have it all planned out already.” His mother’s gaze sharpened as she fixated Hanbin. “If anything bad happens, Lord Sung, you will answer to me.”

Hanbin met her gaze unafraid. “Nothing bad will happen if I can help it.”

“As always, you chose strong words,” his mother hummed thoughtfully. “I do hope you keep up with them.”

“We will take care of each other,” Hao added. “And we’ll travel in a group. If we stay together, we’ll be safe.”

“Lord Sung, may I speak with my son privately for a moment?” She asked Hanbin without even looking at him, eyes fixed on Hao. 

Hanbin was a bit perplexed, but when Hao nodded at him to go ahead, he stood up. 

“I’ll see you later, then,” he excused himself, pressing a fleeting kiss to Hao’s hair. He bowed to his mother. “Thank you Lady Zhang for all your trust. I will not disappoint you.”

 

His mother hummed, but waited until Hanbin was out of earshot before saying anything. 

“Is there anything you want to tell me, Hao?” His mother asked him. 

Hao couldn’t shake the feeling that she was seeing right through him, able to read his every thought. Did she know about Park Gunhee and her flower fields? Is that why she was suspicious? 

Hao always knew that his mother must have the full story of his father’s death. She might even know all about the original Rose Project. Sooner or later, Hao would have to ask her about it. But for now, he decided to investigate on his own. He felt if he confronted his mother with the facts, she would be less likely to lie to him. But for that he first needed to find the facts.

“Do you?” He returned the question. “Want to tell me something?” 

His mother’s stern gaze didn’t waver, but Hao endured well. He was no child anymore. His mother might be his chaperone for the courting season, but in the end, it had only been an act of politeness asking her for permission to leave. Hao knew, even without it, he would’ve found a way to go and meet Park Gunhee. 

“I thought you didn’t like the countryside,” his mother pointed out. 

“I’ve never seen it. Apart from our cottage and the village,” Hao argued. “And Hanbin’s been giving me flowers all year. I want to see where they come from.”

For a moment, both of them just stared at each other, neither backing off. It was like both of them knew the truth, but neither of them said it out loud. Neither of them was ready yet. 

Timing was important. And this was not the time. It would come, one day. But not today. 

“Hao,” his mother said, leaning over and reaching for his hands. “Please, be careful.”

Immediately, Hao’s heart softened. His mother had a tough shell, she was guarding her heart with high walls. But inside, she was just like every other mother, full of love for her child. 

“I always am,” he said. “You should be careful, too.”

His mother snorted amused. “I’m an old woman. I know my way around.”

“Well, so do I,” Hao countered and his mother sighed. 

She let her gaze roam over Hao’s face, as if seeing him in a new light for the first time.

“You’ve grown up so much since we’ve come here,” she said, almost like it hurt her. 

It flustered Hao a little. “Well, I had to at some point.”

His mother laughed and smiled. “Tell me all about your trip when you come back. Will you?”

Hao returned her smile. “I’ll bring you back some flowers.”

His mother looked deep in thought, but then she smiled again. 

“Sweat Peas would be lovely.”

 

Hao thought about that moment for a long time later. 

Was this how she had felt all those years ago as well? Had his father not told her anything either?

There were many questions left to be answered in the future. 

His hope now was that Park Gunhee would shine some light onto the missing dark spots of the story for them. 

The plan was set in motion. Hanbin informed his parents about the trip, who happily allowed them permission to use their cottage as a place to stay. Actually, it was quite convenient that the Sung family owned a residence near the flower fields. This way, they had a base to return to and didn’t have to intrude on the Park family too much. 

Hao was carefully considering what to bring. The weather was getting increasingly hard to predict, nice sunny days interchanging with rainy ones. Apart from his clothes, he also didn’t know what scriptures to bring. Would Park Gunhee want to see proof that Hao was indeed the rightful owner of the Rose Project? 

In the end, he decided against bringing the original scriptures with him. It would be too risky losing them. Instead, he packed the draft version he was currently rewriting when he wasn’t working on the flying papers. It was still unfinished and unpolished, but if Gunhee would question his seriousness, he hoped it would convince her of his earnestness. After all, Hao was planning to do big things.

 

There was one last thing that required his attention before he would leave. It wasn’t just him going on a journey to speak to a potential source. 

Prince Ricky and Gyuvin would be departing three days after them, so as to not make it too suspicious. After all, both Ricky and Hao were people of interest in the court and people would notice them leaving. Similar to Hao, Ricky had convinced his own parents to let him travel. It was an open secret at court that Gyuvin and Ricky were to be promised to each other in the upcoming year, despite no official announcement being made yet. 

Allowing Ricky to join Gyuvin on a trip to the castle meant that the court was approving of this possible new union. 

To Hao’s surprise, the day before they would leave, Ricky summoned him to his chambers. A young servant girl had delivered the massage to him, visibly nervous being trusted with information from someone like Ricky. 

So far, Ricky and him had avoided being seen together in public. They were both figures that demanded attention wherever they went and Hao had avoided bringing more attention to him than he already was. Most days he still wondered what people found so interesting about him. 

Ricky seemed to be past the secrecy, it seemed, openly calling on Hao like this. And Ricky was still his prince. Despite considering Ricky a friend, Hao knew that he couldn’t refuse his request. 

 

He followed the servant girl through the hallways. They left the scholar’s quarters and crossed the royal gardens. 

Hao had actually never entered the private royal quarters before, which lay far away from the scholar’s residences. The air seemed to be different as they entered. 

The windows were larger, tinted in colorful depictions of different nature scenes. Hao had rarely seen anything as beautiful. The hallways and stairs were covered with red carpets and the railing were decorated with golden ornaments. It made Hao afraid to touch anything. 

What must it be like, growing up in a place like this? Would you grow used to it or would it all remain overwhelming? 

For the first time, he was glad not being raised here, instead having moved to the cottage. It was lonely and isolated, but at least you weren't afraid to breathe there. 

They climbed three sets of stairs until they reached a part of the castle that was secluded from the public. Two guards were stationed at the top of the stairs, eyeing them coldly as they approached. 

The girl lowered her head and Hao followed her lead. 

“This is Zhang Hao. He is here to see Prince Ricky,” she said, not raising her gaze. 

The two guards exchanged a look before stepping aside and letting them through. Hao eyed their swords warily as he walked past them. 

The girl let him around one more corner before stopping in front of a big wooden door. 

She raised her first, knocking three times. 

The door swung open and Ricky appeared with a big smile. 

“Hao! Finally,” he greeted him, pulling him inside by his wrist. Quickly he bowed towards the servant girl. “Thank you for bringing him, Minji.”

The girl flushed and curtsied before leaving.

Ricky closed the door behind them. 

 

Hao’s jaw dropped as he took in Ricky’s room. It was tastefully decorated, but it was still pretty lavish. 

A bed that easily fit five people stood pressed against a wall, golden drapes hung across. A beautiful balcony let outside, overlooking the fields surrounding the castle. Hao imagined you could enjoy the sunset everyday from there. 

Ricky led him over to a seating area, a black sofa with golden cushions inviting you to lounge around. 

A set of freshly brewed tea was already sitting on the small glass table, together with an assortment of pastries Hao was sure Matthew would’ve killed for. 

“So this is how you live,” Hao breathed out as he sat down, still in awe from the sheer magnitude of the room. 

Ricky simply shrugged. “I’m actually thinking about redecorating. Feels a little stuffy.”

Hao nearly laughed. Instead, he helped himself to a mouthful of tea. It tasted divine. 

“So, why have you called for me?” Hao asked him. “And do you think it was a smart idea doing it so publicly?”

“I’ve wanted to discuss my upcoming journey with you. I don’t want to say anything to Min Rei that you don’t approve of,” Ricky replied easily. “And I think it was a very good idea.”

Hao sighed. Ricky was young and rich, which meant he could get reckless. 

“I appreciate your trust, but if you get publicly involved with me, it could be dangerous, even for you,” Hao reminded him. 

Ricky might be related to their King, but he was still vulnerable.

“Things are not as they were before,” Ricky argued, his eyes sharp - almost cat-like. “I thought a lot about my role in The Rose Project. I don’t want to be a silent supporter. I want to pull my weight.”

“Ricky, you know how grateful I am for your discretion. You are helping-”

“I’m not helping with the library search, because it would look suspicious. I’m also not helping with the flying papers, because if I disappear from court too long, it would look suspicious,” Ricky interrupted him. 

Hao let out a long breath. He sympathized with Ricky. It must be frustrating being in his position. Being a prince came with its price. Engaging in secret rebellions was just a little harder for him with eyes following him everywhere.

“You are just as important to The Rose Project as anyone else,” Hao assured him. 

To him, every member of the Rose Project was equal. They were all working for the same cause. 

“I know. But my position forces me into a different role than anybody else,” Ricky pointed out. 

“I wish it would be different,” Hao said, but Ricky shook his head. 

“No, I’ve been a quiet chess piece all my life, used to secure alliances and peace. I know that’s the one thing I’m useful for,” Ricky said, like it was simply a fact. 

It made Hao’s heart clench. Just because Ricky was a prince and enjoyed all luxuries of life didn’t mean he hadn’t suffered. Like Matthew, Taerae and Hao, Ricky was an omega, which meant on his own, he was completely without power. The dissonance must be even more pronounced in Ricky’s position, where you stood at the very top, yet at the same time, everything could be taken away from you should an alpha decide to do so. 

Every lavish thing in Ricky’s room, from the golden cups to his massive bed, didn’t belong to him. It had been given to him, but he didn’t own any of it. 

“That’s not all you are useful for,” Hao tried to convince him. “You have a voice as well. You are smart and fierce and you stand up for what’s right. People look up to you.”

Ricky smiled sweetly. “Thank you for your kind words. But I actually want to make use of my position as a chess piece.”

Hao furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?”

Ricky’s smile turned a little wicked. “Hao, you have powerful enemies in this castle. The Yoon family is well-connected.”

Hao swallowed. He knew that before already. Lord Yoon was a well-respected man in the court, a trusted advisor to the king. People were loyal to him. If Hao should accuse him, he would face considerable backlash.

“I want them to know that you have powerful allies, too,” Ricky stated, gaze fierce as he looked at Hao. 

“Ricky-”

“I do not enjoy the power Lord Yoon has, but I do have one thing over him. My blood,” Ricky said. “I do enjoy a higher standing than him. And I’m just as well-connected to the royal family as he is. I don’t want him to think that he’ll face no fight if he dares to raise complaints about you and The Rose Project.”

Hao’s heart surged with confidence hearing Ricky speak. Even if they found proof of Lord Yoon’s involvement with his father’s death, it would be hard to go against him in front of the judges. Ricky standing with him would mean a lot. 

“Thank you,” Hao told him, meaning it with his entire heart. “But you are no longer a chess piece. You are choosing your place to stand in. That means you are the player.”

Ricky gifted him a smile, this one a little coy. 

“Spoken like a true scholar,” Ricky commented, making Hao flustered. 

Ricky had called him a scholar once before. Hao had denied it back then, not feeling like he deserved the title. His father had been a scholar, a great thinker, a man talented with words and unafraid to express his opinions. Hao still felt far away from that. 

“So, you wanted to talk about Min Rei?” He changed topics, putting his cup of tea down. 

Ricky let it happen and nodded. “Yes, but I think we should wait for Gyuvin. He wanted to come by to join our conversation later.”

Hao raised his eyebrows. “Is he allowed in your chambers without a chaperone?”

Ricky smirked. “We find our ways.”

Hao wasn’t sure what Ricky meant, but he assumed he would find out later. So he leaned back against the cushions, waiting patiently. 

“Are you nervous? Visiting the Northern Empire?” Hao asked the prince. 

They hadn’t had many opportunities for private conversations, so Hao thought he should use this one. 

“I’ve never traveled anywhere on my own,” Ricky admitted. “Except when I was promised to Prince Xian in the Southern Realm.”

Hao hummed. Ricky’s engagement had only been terminated for a few months. It must still linger on his conscience. 

“Does it remind you of that time?” Hao pried, curious to see what Ricky thought. 

It had been Ricky who suggested the trip, but he didn’t want to force him to do something he wasn’t ready to do. 

“No. Back then, I felt trapped, and talked myself into feeling fine. I thought it would be my last journey. My destiny,” Ricky explained, sighing heavily. “This trip makes me feel the opposite. It makes me feel free.”

A small smile played on Hao’s lips. To him it was still astounding how brave Ricky was. Back then, Ricky had saved himself. 

“What did your parents say?” Hao asked him. 

Ricky’s cheeks flushed a light shade of pink. 

“I think they expected it. They like Gyuvin. And Gyuvin’s…not really subtle.”

“Neither are you,” Hao added playfully, making Ricky glare at him. 

It was very obvious that the two of them were fond of each other. Not only because Gyuvin was very bad at concealing his affections in public, no matter how hard he tried, but also because of the way they looked at each other.

“The king and queen were supportive as well. An alliance with the Northern Empire is just as useful to our kingdom as one with the Southern Realm,” Ricky continued. He bit on his lip, chewing restlessly. 

“Yet, something still worries you,” Hao pointed out, reading the concern from Ricky’s body.

Ricky sighed heavily. “Gyuvin’s a prince as well. His parents rule a kingdom.”

Hao frowned. “You are afraid to meet them?”

“No. I’m quite certain they are lovely people and will approve of our union as well,” Ricky denied. Hao gave him a curious look. “It’s the kingdom I am afraid of.”

“What are you afraid of?” He questioned, not sure he understood. 

“It’ll be my future. Gyuvin is my future,” Ricky told him honestly. “His people will be my people. What if they don’t like me? Aren’t I just a stranger to them? And I…when I went to the Southern Realm, my heart ached every day, because I missed my family so much.”

Hao’s heart softened. At moments like this he was reminded just how young Ricky was. Just because Ricky carried himself with all the grace and poise of a prince, didn’t mean that inside he wasn’t still just a normal boy. 

“You will be a sweetheart to their court just like you are to ours,” Hao assured him. “And I don’t think Gyuvin will forbid you from visiting your family here.”

“I’m not sure I’ll ever feel at home anywhere but here,” Ricky muttered quietly. 

Spending his entire life loved by his people, Hao could see how Ricky would be afraid of leaving the castle behind. After all, this was all he knew. It was where he had grown up.

“You know what,” Hao told him, reaching for his hand and holding it loosely. “I’ve come to learn that home can be more than just one place. It’s also the people we are with that make a place a home.”

Ricky gave him a long thoughtful look. Then his lips twitched upwards, turning into a smile. 

“You truly are wise beyond your years,” he told him sincerely. 

Embarrassed by the compliment, Hao turned his head away. He had simply spoken from his heart. 

 

Just then a knock interrupted the silence. 

At first Hao turned towards the door, but the sound hadn’t come from there. Confused, he looked around the room, only to startle when he saw a person standing on the balcony. 

Gyuvin was knocking against the glass door, grinning sheepishly. 

Immediately, Ricky got up, letting the other prince in. 

So that was the way they found, Hao thought amused, his heart still pounding in surprise. 

“Hi,” Gyuvin greeted him. 

It clearly wasn’t his first time in here as he smoothly made his way over and settled against Ricky’s side. 

“Glad you could join us,” Hao muttered in disbelief. 

The three of them sat around the table. A sense of adventure overcame Hao.

They were really doing this. 

“Alright,” he said. “Min Rei.”

“Min Rei,” Gyuvin repeated and Ricky nodded eagerly. 

“Let’s make a plan,” Hao said, gaze full of determination. “Do you have a pen and paper?”

Notes:

thank you for reading!!

hehe a bit more plot focused today, what do you think?? :D
haha many of the side character got a little more time today, i hope you liked it :3

everybody stay safe and healthy <3

Chapter 26: Lotus Flowers

Summary:

Lotus flower. symbolizes the journey from darkness to light and from ignorance to wisdom.

Notes:

hiii wecome back hehe enjoy the chapter :33

It was early in the morning when they got ready for their departure. 

Hanbin was currently carrying his suitcases down the stairs for him. At the merchant’s gate a carriage was waiting. The Sung family had been so generous as to lend them one of their bigger carriages as there were five of them traveling this time. 

Matthew and Jiwoong were already storing their own belongings in the storage compartment at the back of it when they made it down the stairs. 

The weather was gloomy, grey clouds hiding any sign of sunshine. Soft rain was drizzling down onto them. 

“Let’s hurry,” Hanbin said as they stepped into the rain. The ground was muddy and soft underneath their feet, making them sink a few inches with each step. 

The horse pulling the carriage was standing calmly, unfazed by the weather conditions. It must’ve seen much worse in its life. Hao patted its long neck, offering a carrot he had stolen from the kitchen. 

Jiwoong would be their carter for the journey. The guard had learned how to steer a carriage since he was a boy, although it had been a while since had had to make use of this skill. They didn’t want to take someone else on the journey with them, however, and they had faith in Jiwoong’s ability. 

Hanbin had stored their suitcase in the back and was now walking around the carriage to inspect it one last time. 

“Everythig looks safe for traveling,” he stated. He turned to look at Jiwoong. “Will you be alright with the rain? Otherwise we could wait until it passed.”

Jiwoong shook his head. “This is barely any rain,” he said, glancing at Hao. “Besides, I believe Hao will just start walking there if we don’t depart soon.”

Hao flushed red as he noticed that he had been pacing in one spot, eager to leave. 

“We’re only waiting for Taerae now,” Matthew said, throwing an arm around his shoulder. “Then we’ll be full speed ahead, right?”

Jiwoong laughed. “Right.”

Just that moment, two people appeared at the merchant’s gate. Hao let out a relieved breath when he recognized them as Taerae and his mother.

Lady Kim was holding up a fine umbrella, carefully stepping on the parts of the pathway that weren’t muddy yet. 

Taerae’s expression matched the weather, a tense frown stitched on his face. As soon as he reached their proximity, Hao could feel his friend’s bad mood turn the air sour. 

“Lord Sung,” Lady Kim greeted Hanbin first with a short bow. “At first I wasn’t too sure whether I should allow my son on this excursion without my supervision, but when I heard you’d accompany the group, I felt relieved.”

Hanbin blinked, clearly caught off guard by the sudden compliment. Then he lowered his head. 

“Oh, I’m happy Lord Kim is coming along. We’ll only travel to my parent’s cottage to see the flower fields. It’ll be a safe and healing trip,” Hanbin assured her. 

“Well, I’m glad to know that Taerae will be under your care,” Lady Kim stated. 

Hanbin looked a bit flustered. “Yes, my guard, Kim Jiwoong, and I will ensure a safe journey.” He nodded his head towards Jiwoong, who bowed in respect. 

“Such two fine young men,” Lady Kim praised them. She stepped closer towards Hanbin. “May I ask a favor of you, Lord Sung? It might sound a bit bold.”

“Oh-” Hanbin looked perplexed by the sudden request.

“Enough, mother!” Taerae intercepted, chugging his luggage into the carriage loudly. “We need to leave now if we don’t want to get caught in the storm.”

Lady Kim narrowed her eyes, clearly not approving of her son’s misbehavior. 

“The rain is getting heavier,” Hao chimed in, trying to save his friend from an argument. “Taerae is right, it’s best we leave as soon as possible.”

Lady Kim sighed in annoyance, but seemed to give in. 

“We’ll speak when you return then,” she announced, giving her son a stern look. 

Taerae shrugged, climbing into the carriage to escape his mother’s gaze. Hao wondered what had his mind so troubled this morning. His friend wasn’t usually so harsh.

Matthew hurried after Taerae, apparently even more curious than Hao was to find out what was up with him. 

Hao respectfully lowered his head towards Lady Kim one last time. “Goodbye. We’ll be back in three days.”

Her gaze softened as she looked at Hao. 

“Have a good journey, Hao. And please, if you find the time, share some of your reason with Taerae,” she told him with a long sigh.

Before Hao could question what she had meant with her words, she had bowed to Hanbin and turned to leave.

Jiwoong climbed up to the coach box, signaling their cue to ride.

“You should get inside, too,” Hanbin nudged him towards the carriage. “I will help navigate Jiwoong in the front until we’ve reached the main road at least.”

Hao lifted his hands, pulling at Hanbin’s coat. He made sure Hanbin was as protected from the rainy cold as he could be. 

“If there will truly be a storm, don’t hesitate to take a break. I don’t want you to get hurt or sick. I can wait one more day to see Park Gunhee,” Hao told him, lifting Hanbin’s hood for him. 

His fingers brushed his soft brown hair, patting it for a moment. 

Hanbin reached for his wrists, guiding them to his lips with a tender smile. 

“I’ll make sure we’re going to reach our destination. Don’t worry,” Hanbin reassured him after pressing a single kiss to his knuckles. “Now get inside or you’re going to fall ill from the rain.”

Hao sighed, only reluctantly pulling away from Hanbin. He knew they were being ridiculous. They would be mere meters separated from each other, yet Hao’s heart felt like they were saying goodbye.

 

He opened the door to the carriage and climbed inside, letting his body drop onto the cushioned seats. He was actually glad to escape the rain. He hated the feeling of wet clothes sticking to his skin. 

Taerae and Matthew were already occupying the window seats, so Hao sat down in the middle next to Matthew. 

Taerae was staring out of the window, forehead still creased with anger. Matthew wasn’t subtle in his staring, silently urging Taerae on to share what had displeased him so much. 

However, Taerae was ignoring him. 

Only when the carriage started moving did he tear his gaze away from the window. 

“You’re brooding,” Matthew commented, never shy of confrontation. 

Taerae huffed, turning away again. 

“What troubles your mind?” Hao asked him, a little softer than Matthew. “It might help to share.”

Taerae sighed. He eyed Hao thoughtfully. 

“Do you think I’m weird?”

The question surprised Hao. 

“Why would I think you’re weird? You’re one of my most trusted friends,” Hao told him honestly. 

“The weirdest thing about you is that you like to dip your cheese into jam,” Matthew added. Hao subtly nudged him in his side with his elbow. 

However, Taerae rolled his eyes and actually chuckled. 

“My mother seems to think there is something wrong with me,” Taerae told him. “She’s been pretty relaxed about my lack of interest in the courting season so far, but now…”

He sighed and threw Hao another look. 

“She’s seen Hanbin and you together and thinks I’m missing out,” Taerae disclosed. 

A twinge of guilt made Hao’s guts ache. He had never intended to cause Taerae any trouble or put a rift in the relationship with his mother. 

“Don’t,” Taerae intercepted before Hao could voice his apology. “It’s not your fault. My mother just hasn’t realized how…unconventional my disinterest was until she saw what a normal courting season is supposed to look like.”

“That’s nonsense,” Matthew pointed out. “There are omegas that are getting mated far older than you are right now.”

“But no omega ever rejected all courting advances like I do,” Taerae argued. “My mother thinks I’m not trying hard enough. She thinks I’m scared…of commitment or…whatever.”

Hao gave his friend a thoughtful look. It was obvious that something was holding him back.

“Well, are you?” Hao asked, trying to understand his friend. 

Taerae frowned. “No, I don’t think so. There’s just nobody that interests me at the castle.”

“You shouldn’t be forced to entertain a courting with anyone if you don’t want to,” Hao said. “Someone will eventually come along.”

“My mother is losing her patience. She said if I don’t like anyone at the castle, we have to look elsewhere. She wanted to ask Hanbin earlier if he could connect us to alphas outside our own kingdom, since his family has ties to all kinds of noble families through their travel,” Taerae told them. 

His body shivered at the imagination. It was clear that that was the furthest thing from what Taerae wanted.

“I don’t think your mother means to harm you with her intentions,” Hao thought out loud. “But I think she might be overstepping. You can find someone on your own terms.”

“I just don’t understand why she is so desperate for me to get courted all of a sudden,” Taerae voiced his discontent. 

“I think she just wants you to give love a chance,” Hao shrugged. Lady Kim had never struck him as an overly conservative woman. From what he knew, Taerae and her usually got along well. She might be an alpha, but she was a scholar as well, a well-red woman. 

“A foreign alpha doesn’t sound so bad,” Matthew wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

Taerae bit down on his lip. He seemed to hesitate, as if carefully searching for his next words. “What if…it’s not an alpha I want?”

Matthew looked confused, but Hao had already guessed something along those lines. Taerae had told him before that he didn’t want an alpha. Hao didn’t think there was anything wrong with wanting to be alone and never wanting anyone. Taerae could do amazing things on his own. 

But at the same time, Hao had noticed the pain in Taerae’s eyes. He had tried to cover it up with humor, but underneath the surface, Hao knew that Taerae didn’t want to be alone. He just didn’t want to be with an alpha. 

“I don’t think love is limited to alphas and omegas,” Hao told him gently. 

Matthew’s eyes widened and he gasped as he understood the implications of Taerae’s admission. 

“Wait! What?” He spluttered. “You like omegas?”

Taerae flushed red and shifted his gaze away. 

“I think my mother might be suspecting it, too. That’s why she is pushing me to pursue a courtship with an alpha,” Taerae muttered, not denying Matthew’s conclusion. 

Hao let out a long breath. Carefully he got to his feet, changing his seat to sit next to Taerae. The carriage unfortunately hit a pothole as he did so, so Hao less than gracefully fell into Taerae. 

His friend laughed as Hao straightened himself up again. At least his fall had broken the tension in the air a little.

“Sorry,” Hao smiled sheepishly. Then he reached for Taerae’s hand. “There is nothing wrong with you. And you aren’t weird. And even your mother has no right to dictate who you should give your heart to. That’s only for you to decide.”

Taerae’s eyes shimmered as he looked at him, before gently squeezing his hand. 

“Thank you. I’ve never…some days I still don’t want to admit it to myself,” Taerae replied earnestly. “But I think this is who I am. And I cannot change it.”

“And we love you just the way you are. There is no need to change anything about you,” Hao spoke, making Taerae smile softly. 

“Okay, but I have, like, so many questions,” Matthew blurted out. 

Taerae jerked his eyebrows at him. 

“I mean, what Hao said, of course. Like, love is love and all that. Really cool that you like omegas,” Matthew said when Hao threw him a stern look. His friend had just shared something vulnerable and Hao did not want him to feel pressured to share any more than he was ready for.

Taerae snorted, clearly already used to Matthew’s attitude and not offended by his curiosity. “Go ahead.”

“When did you know? How did you know? Did you have a crush on someone before? Did you-”

“Alright, slow down,” Taerae chuckled, fondly rolling his eyes at his friend. 

“Well!” Matthew urged him on when Taerae remained quiet, obviously very curious. 

Taerae exhaled deeply. “I think I’ve known since forever, I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. I didn’t understand when I was younger. It’s not really spoken about openly and I’ve never heard of such relationships. I tried to like alphas but it never felt right. And there’s been…moments.”

“Moments?” Matthew pried. 

Taerae looked embarrassed. “Moments. Like when Minhee smiled at me. Or when Juyeon’s hand accidentally brushed mine. And my heart fluttered, like it was supposed to around alphas.”

“Minhee?” Hao repeated, remembering that name. “Didn’t she join our classes when we were children?”

“Yes, she was taught by scholar Zhang as well. We remained close for a while longer, but she got mated when we both turned 20 and moved to a village with her alpha,” Taerae confirmed. 

“And Juyeon was your family’s servant for a while, wasn’t he?” Matthew asked excitedly. “I think I remember him.”

“Yes, he moved away shortly after you came to the castle,” Taerae nodded. “I was sad. Unusually sad. I realized that I really must’ve liked him. More than liked him. Same with Minhee.”

“And now? You say the alphas at the castle don’t interest you, but what about the omegas?” Matthew grinned. 

Taerae laughed and shook his head. “I’m not looking at them anymore. I don’t want to go through another heartbreak. Unrequited love…it’s not easy.”

“How will you find out if it's unrequited if you don’t even look at them!” Matthew pouted. 

“Please, I know chances of finding someone like me are low,” Taerae commented dryly. “Maybe when I’m older.”

Matthew groaned in frustration. Hao felt for his friend. It must not be easy. If you opened your heart to the wrong person, you could end up getting very hurt. Ostracized even.

It wasn't that such relationships were forbidden, they were just…unheard of. Hao understood why Taerae was so careful with whom he entrusted this information about himself. 

“I wish it were different for you,” Hao sympathized with him. “I believe one day, it will be. One day, nobody will be judged for the way they love.”

Taerae smiled fondly. “You always were a dreamer.”

Hao returned his smile. “I was raised by my father. And you know what kind of world he envisioned and worked towards. How can I not be a dreamer?”

“You should write a scripture after The Rose Project!” Matthew suggested eagerly. “Advocating for it. Destigmatizing it! You know. Like The Taerae Project.”

Taerae snorted and Hao giggled. 

“I might,” he agreed, fully meaning it. Taerae gave him an astounded look. 

“You’d want to write about that?” Taerae asked him. 

For his friend, Hao would do much more. If he could make the world treat his friend a little less harshly for simply loving differently, Hao would write a thousand scriptures. 

“If I survive The Rose Project, I will,” Hao promised him. He wasn’t a scholar, nor was he trained in writing, but he would find a way. “It might not be good, but it will be right.”

Taerae’s surprise turned into awe. His eyes warmed. He leaned against Hao. 

“Thank you.”

 

They took their first break when the rain got too heavy to drive on. Jiwoong halted the carriage at the side of the road and both he and Hanbin climbed inside to avoid the worst of the weather. 

Sensible as he was, Taerae had brought towels in his luggage, allowing the two alphas to rub themselves dry. 

“I hope the roads don’t turn too muddy. The further we get away from the capital, the harder it might be to keep going then,” Jiwoong worried, watching the rain outside with a deep frown.

“We’ll just drive slowly then,” Matthew encouraged him, helping him dry his moist hair. “It’s going to be fine.”

“Park Gunhee will not expect us before tomorrow,” Hao added, also hoping to ease Jiwoong’s mind. He was grateful he had offered to come along in the first place. “We have time.”

Jiwoong regarded him with a warm smile. 

“Here,” Hanbin caught his attention, nudging their thighs together. He was holding a small cup, filled with a warm beverage. “I brought some tea. We should keep warm.”

“Thank you,” Hao said, accepting the cup. The tea was still surprisingly warm despite it having traveled so far. 

Hanbin poured everyone else a cup from a metal bottle and Matthew distributed cookies he had taken from the kitchen. It was not the most nutritious meal, but it warmed Hao from the inside. 

 

They were lucky, as the harsh wind seemed to push the rain clouds away, revealing a clear sky. Soon, Jiwoong decided they should head on, in case the weather should change its mind again. 

“I’ll sit with you this time,” Matthew jumped up before Hanbin could even move. “I know the way just as well as you,” he added when Hanbin threw him a cautious look. 

“We’re more concerned about you distracting the driver,” Taerae commented teasingly. 

Matthew gasped at the jab but Jiwoong only smirked. 

“Don’t worry, Lord Kim, you will be transported to our destination safely,” Jiwoong countered, helping Matthew out of the carriage. 

Taerae only rolled his eyes at the formal address. 

“Can’t believe I’m stuck with two pairs of lovebirds,” Taerae muttered, throwing Hao and Hanbin a look where they were still sitting far closer together than necessary. 

Especially after their conversation earlier, Hao felt a little bad. One day, he hoped, Taerae could find his own match. He would make sure of it. 

For now, he only cleared his throat in embarrassment and let go of Hanbin’s hand. 

“Gunwook might join us after tomorrow. And for the trip back. He said he had some deliveries to make anyway,” Hao told him, hoping to cheer Taerae up. 

“Gunwook was her son, right? Park Gunhee’s son?” Taerae asked curiously. 

Besides him and Hanbin, none of them had ever spoken to Gunwook. 

“Yes. I’m sure you will like him. He is very bright,” Hao confirmed. “I showed him one of the flying papers and he was very interested in The Rose Project. I was thinking of asking him to join…but I’m not sure.”

“What makes you unsure?” Hanbin asked him, always attuned to Hao’s concerns. 

“Park Gunhee fled from the castle because of The Rose Project. At least, that’s what I assume,” Hao muttered. “I don’t want Gunwook to share the same fate. I don’t want him to get caught in the middle.”

Taerae huffed. “Hao, when will you finally get it in your head that people who join The Rose Project understand the risks? You just said he’s supposed to be bright. If you’ve already shown him the flying papers, I’m sure he can make his own decision based on that.”

That was true. It could be very advantageous if they had someone like Gunwook on their side. Not only because he was very smart, but because he could offer a new perspective and had different access and connections to people than them. He was a traveler, a merchant, he could spread word outside of the castle, could gather support in areas they could never reach on their own. Areas that probably needed The Rose Project the most, like omega communities in the villages. 

“He’s right. I’ve not spoken to Gunwook a lot, but he would be a good ally. Who knows, his mother might want to join again as well,” Hanbin said with a shrug. 

Hao seriously doubted that. He mainly wanted to speak to Park Gunhee about the circumstances of his father’s death and if she considered speaking up in front of a court. It would probably inevitably lead to him telling her all about him reviving The Rose Project, but considering her more than unfortunate experience with her involvement last time, Hao did not want to ask her for support once more. 

“We won’t know until we talk to her,” Hao sighed. “I really hope she will trust us.”

Taerae smiled at him. “I wouldn’t worry about that too much.”

Hao furrowed his brows. If Park Gunhee didn’t trust them, this visit would all be for nothing. 

“Why not?”

“Because people trust you, Hao,” Taerae stated like that was a simple fact. “There is just something about you that makes you seem trustworthy.”

“He’s right,” Hanbin agreed. “I took one look at you and knew your heart was good.”

Incredibly flustered by his friend’s words, Hao sunk deeper into the cushions of his seat. He had always considered it a serious disadvantage that he couldn’t lie or hide his true emotions well. Perhaps, it could be a strength as well. 

“She might not. Not with her history with my father,” Hao remained firm. “We’ll just have to wait and see.”

 

They reached the Sung cottage just as the sun was setting. The weather had been kind and stayed mild and dry. Despite the dirt roads having softened up, their horse pulled the carriage with no effort at all.

After being confined and shaken around for so many hours, Hao was more than happy to finally stretch his legs again. Hanbin held his hand as he jumped out of the carriage and into the soft grass. 

“This way,” Hanbin led him onward, treading up the gravel path leading up to the cottage. 

Hao took it in with slight awe. It wasn’t unlike the cottage he and his mother had inhabited for years, that he used to call home. Wooden beams and thin windows, flower patches with wonderful Lotus flowers surrounding the frontside. It was bigger than the one Hao knew, stretching highly towards the sky. 

When Hanbin unlocked the front door and they stepped inside, Hao realized that it also smelled different. Their cottage had always smelled like flowers and whatever soup his mother was brewing on the stove that day. 

The Sung cottage smelled clean, like it wasn’t frequented often, with a woody aroma clinging to its rooms. 

They slipped off their shoes before entering. A big and cozy living room with a huge fireplace occupied most of the space. Three lounges were pushed together, a nice cream color, standing on top of a matching fuzzy carpet. There were dozens of candles placed on the small table in the middle of the room and the shelves on the walls. A huge piece of art was hung on a wall, depicting an abstract vision of the sunset. 

“I’ll show you the remaining rooms and then I’ll get started on the fire,” Hanbin told him, softly pulling Hao along. 

There was a small in-house library next to the comfortable living room, with a narrow desk placed inside, clearly used as a study. Hanbin smirked when Hao studied the covers of the books and scriptures - most of them maps or related to the trade. 

A title caught Hao’s eyes and he pointed it out to Hanbin. 

‘A distribution of wealth and health - Zhang Fei’

Hanbin chuckled when he noticed. “My parents always valued your father’s work.”

Once again, Hao realized what a huge impact his father’s work had had. Would he ever measure up to his genius?

Reluctantly, he separated from the study. He always felt most comfortable surrounded by books and wisdom. 

The last room downstairs was the kitchen. 

Matthew and Jiwoong were already occupying its space, having come inside after making sure their trusted horse was comfortable in the attached stable.

“Where’s Taerae?” Hao asked, missing the last of their travel group. 

“Bathroom,” Matthew informed him. “I don’t know about you, but I think we should get started on dinner. I’m really hungry.”

“Good idea,” Hanbin agreed. “I wanted to get some dry wood from the shed anyway to start a fire. I’ll bring some for the stove as well, then.”

Jiwoong rose to his feet like it was second nature, ready to help. “I’ll get our luggage.”

“I’ll think of a menu,” Matthew said, the most natural in a kitchen among all of them. 

 

Not knowing where he could be most useful, Hao followed Jiwoong outside to help with their luggage. He had brought some food in his, hopefully helping Matthew in his mission to come up with a recipe. 

Taerae also showed up, carrying the last remaining suitcase into the cottage for them. 

Hao quickly unpacked what he had brought, Taerae and Jiwoong adding what they had carried. Matthew was already rummaging around the kitchen, looking for pots and ladles. Once Hanbin had started the fire for them, Matthew had a full course dinner in mind.

Under Matthew’s direction, they got to work. Besides Matthew, Jiwoong also proved himself thrifty in the kitchen, cutting up vegetables like it was his second nature. Despite Hao having cooked together with his mother most of his life, he had never managed to pick up her skill. So he happily let his friends take the lead on food preparation. Luckily, next to Taerae and Hanbin, who’ve had all their meals cooked for them, he didn’t look too inept. 

They ended up having a hearty meal around the low table in the living room, sitting on the spacious lounges. The fireplace was providing a gentle warmth. Together with the tofu soup Matthew had cooked, it made Hao feel quite comfortable in this foreign place right away. 

Once the last of the side dishes was eaten, Hanbin, Hao and Taerae offered to do the dishes, having provided the least to the meal. Together, it didn’t take them long to clean up everything, however when they were finished, it was already dark outside. 

When they returned to the living room to join the others, Jiwoong’s eyes looked heavy. It must’ve been quite exhausting, chauffeuring them through the unsteady weather all day. 

Hao felt a little bad for keeping him awake a little longer.

“I think we should go over our plan for tomorrow one last time,” Hao said, gaining the attention of the room. 

“Shoot,” Matthew urged him. 

Hao inhaled. “So, Gunwook and Gunhee know we’re coming. I’m not sure if she’ll prefer to talk to me on her own, or with us as a group. It might overwhelm her if we all come.”

“The three of us should go,” Taerae suggested, pointing to Hao, Matthew and him. “We’re all omegas. She will feel more at ease with just us.”

Hao had entertained that thought before as well. 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? What if something happens and you need help?” Hanbin asked, clearly a bit uncomfortable with the idea of letting Hao out of his sight. 

“You said you know Park Gunhee. And I know Gunwook. They are not dangerous,” Hao assured him. 

“Why don’t Hanbin and I wait in the carriage while you go talk to her? You’ll need me to drive you anyway,” Jiwoong suggested a compromise. 

Hao considered it. It seemed like the best option. 

“All in favor?” He asked into the room and everybody agreed. “Great. That’s how we’ll do it then.”

His chest fluttered with nervous excitement. Hopefully, everything would turn out well. 

“So, sleep?” Jiwoong asked, barely suppressing a yawn. 

“Right,” Hanbin nodded. “There are two bedrooms upstairs. We should decide who sleeps where first.”

Matthew didn’t hesitate, jumping to his feet and pulling Jiwoong along. “You’re coming with me. Nobody come knocking on our door tonight!”

Jiwoong laughed perplexed, but let himself be dragged without protest. 

That only left Taerae, Hanbin and him. Hao turned his head away flustered. 

“You two can share the other bedroom. I can take the lounge,” Hanbin offered, chivalrous as he was. 

Taerae snorted. “Oh no, you two can share. I’ll sleep here.”

“I really don’t mind staying here if you prefer a bed-”

“It’s just us here. Don’t worry, I definitely won’t come knocking on any doors,” Taerae interrupted Hanbin’s attempt of persuasion. 

Hanbin and his eyes met, before both of them blushed and looked away. 

“Alright. Erm…if that’s fine for you, Hao?” Hanbin asked him. 

Hao nodded. “Yes. I don’t mind.”

Internally, he was overjoyed with the prospect of sharing a bed with Hanbin. 

Hanbin reached for their two suitcases, heading upstairs first after bidding Taerae goodnight. 

Taerae winked at him. “You’re welcome.”

Hao giggled, thrill overtaking him. “Thank you,” he whispered, before following Hanbin upstairs. 

 

The bedroom was down the hallway, all the way opposite of the room Matthew had claimed. It would ensure them enough privacy. 

Hanbin had already lit up a few candles and was currently looking for his sleep attire in his bag. 

He gave him a small smile when he saw Hao join him in the room. 

“Do you want to take a bath first?” Hanbin asked him, nodding towards the door where Hao assumed to be another bathroom. 

He shook his head. “No. You can go first. I need to properly unpack my suitcase first.”

“Alright,” Hanbin nodded, before getting up. “See you in a minute.”

Hao stared after him until the door fell shut. His heart was skipping beats. 

Decisively, he focused on his luggage, carefully sorting out all the things he had brought. He had unloaded all the food down in the kitchen, and was now only left with clothes and scriptures he had deemed essential. 

However, no matter how much he wanted to distract himself, his thoughts drifted back to Hanbin, just behind that door. The last time they had shared a bed felt so long ago and it had been under less than ideal circumstances. 

This time, they both had chosen to be here, no drama or emotional turmoil forcing them together. It made Hao nervous and giddy at the same time. He wondered if Hanbin felt the same. 

He hoped trying to persuade Taerae to share with him earlier had only been because he was trying to be a gracious host and not because he wanted to avoid sharing a bed with Hao. 

No, Hao scolded himself. Stop it. Last time they had talked about this, Hanbin had told him that he wanted him. That they even might have each other soon. 

He didn’t expect anything from tonight, not after they had traveled all day and were both exhausted. All he wanted was to be held by Hanbin, comfortably resting in his arms as they drifted away to sleep. 

The door creaked as Hanbin opened it, his hair still slightly damp as he dried it with a towel. 

“All yours now,” he smiled at him, holding the door open for him.

Hao giggled sweetly, taking him up on the offer and slipping inside the bath. He had never taken a faster bath, eager to be back to Hanbin. 

 

When he returned to the bedroom mere minutes later, Hanbin was hovering over a few maps, drawing out the route they had to travel tomorrow to the flower fields. Apparently, it shouldn't take them long, not more than two full hours, but with the current weather conditions, it was better to be safe than sorry. 

When Hao sank to his side on the bed, Hanbin lifted his gaze, giving him a soft smile. 

“Have you found everything okay?” He asked him, putting the maps away to give all his attention to Hao. 

It was such a small gesture but it made Hao’s heart flutter like nothing else. 

“Yes. This place feels quite familiar. Reminds me of my old home,” Hao told him honestly. 

Hanbin’s gaze turned tender. “Do you miss it?”

Hao sighed. “No. Not really. The castle is much more lively. It was pretty lonely out there,” he denied. “But coming here with you is nice. It must be nice to have this place to retreat should everything get too much at the castle.”

Hanbin beamed at him. “We can come here whenever you want to. Or go to your cottage.”

The thought of returning to the cottage together with Hanbin hadn’t occurred to Hao so far. It did sound somewhat appealing, showing Hanbin just how he had spent the years that they had been separated. There were nice aspects of the cottage and the village. 

“I want to. Some day,” Hao confirmed. “I think it would be nice to visit my father’s grave together.”

Usually, everyone’s eyes turned pitiful when he mentioned his deceased father. And there was a hint of sadness in Hanbin’s eyes, but mostly they were just full of soft understanding. 

“I would love that,” he replied kindly.

Hao couldn’t help the smile forming on his lips. Hanbin really was a dream. Something you only wished for. 

“So,” he shuffled around, looking at the bed behind him. “Do you have a preferred side?”

Hanbin grinned sheepishly. “No, not really.” Then his expression turned serious. “Is this really fine for you?”

“It’s more than fine,” Hao admitted sincerely. “It’s all I want.”

Hanbin’s gaze turned a little darker - something Hao recognized by now, something that meant that he also wanted . 

Then his features softened up again. 

“Alright,” he lifted the sheet so Hao could easily slip in. “It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before. Get in.”

Hao giggled, pulling the blanket over him and waiting for Hanbin to join him. 

The alpha didn’t wait much longer, rolling over so long until he was pressed against Hao’s side. He teasingly nudged his waist, the sensation tickling Hao, who squirmed with laughter. Hao liked it a lot more when Hanbin was playful about getting closer than when he overthought it. 

They settled in a comfortable position, Hao’s head on Hanbin’s chest and Hanbin’s arms resting easily around his waist. It was the safest Hao had ever felt. 

If he had a choice, he would never leave again. 

Hanbin hummed in contentment, pressing a sweet kiss to his hair. 

They laid in silence for a moment, simply enjoying each other’s warmth and company. Hao could listen to Hanbin’s heartbeat and he noticed how his own heart was trying to match its rhythm. 

He let out a long sigh and sank further into Hanbin’s embrace. 

“Are you okay?” Hanbin asked him right away. His body tensed underneath him, arms threatening to pull away.

“Yes,” Hao replied, nuzzling into Hanbin’s chest. “Just worried about tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Hanbin breathed, relaxing again. “It’s going to be fine. We have a good plan. And Park Gunhee has requested this meeting herself.”

“I know,” Hao bit down on his lip. “Just, last time we planned something for The Rose Project it went horribly wrong and ended up with Matthew in the infirmary.”

Hanbin finally seemed to understand where Hao’s concerns were rooted. He tightened his hold on him. 

“That’s not going to happen again. I’m here with you. I’ll protect you,” Hanbin assured him. 

“Sometimes, I feel like The Rose Project is cursed. Like anyone who touches it is doomed to a painful fate,” Hao worried out loud. “And I’m the one leading everyone to their demise.”

“I don’t believe in fate,” Hanbin told him. “But I believe in you. And I believe in your legacy.”

“And we make our own legacy,” Hao mumbled reminiscently. 

“Don’t be afraid of doing great things, Hao. You are too brilliant to be chained away by fear and doubts,” Hanbin said. 

Hao let the words settle in. He had never thought he was destined for great things. But maybe that was Hanbin’s point all along. There might be a part laid out for you by destiny or fate - but you could always choose a different one. Your future was up to you. 

The only thing it took was to be courageous and overcome the fear of going into the unknown. 

But flowers only bloom with courage. 

Hao slowly began to understand what that truly meant. And he would try his best to live up to it.

Notes:

thank you for reading!!

hehe i feel like many of you already guessed the taerae part of this chapter hehe but here it is!!
what do you think?
also more of a fluffy chapter i think, but next chapter we're gonna focus on plot again ;)

everybody stay safe and healthy :3

Chapter 27: Peonies

Summary:

Peony. associated with truth, sincerity, and honesty. represents a commitment to honesty and integrity in relationships, as well as the importance of speaking and living one’s truth.

Notes:

hiiii sorry im late again i had a really eventful week and and an assignment due huhu but now please enjoy!! :3

Hao woke up to the gentle scent of pinewood surrounding him. His lips formed a smile even before his eyes opened. He snuggled deeper into Hanbin’s soft embrace, trying to hide from the first rays of sun calling for them to rise. 

The chest underneath him vibrated as Hanbin chuckled at him. Hao scrunched his nose.

Reluctantly, Hao opened his eyes, only to find Hanbin already looking at him. 

“Did you sleep well?” Hanbin asked him, carefully brushing a strand of hair out of Hao’s forehead. 

Hao’s heart soared. This was what had been missing all his life. Someone holding him, waking up and feeling like you were home. 

“I did,” Hao replied honestly, not even his worries about today’s meeting had kept him awake. With Hanbin close, sleep had come easily. “I can’t wait for the end of the year.”

Hanbin’s eyes widened at the implication. At the end of the year - if they got the Queen’s blessing - they would be allowed to mate. Then it would no longer look improper if Hao moved into Hanbin’s quarters with him. They could share a bed every night. 

Hanbin gave him a reverent smile, slowly lifting Hao’s hands to his lips. He placed a kiss on Hao’s finger, where one day, hopefully, a ring would be. Apart from rings, they would also exchange mating bites, claiming each other in their current and all future lives together. 

It was also then that Hanbin’s courting offer would be due. 

“You offered me anything,” Hao muttered into the quiet morning, remembering the offer vividly. The day his life had changed, had become brighter and warmer. “But I just want one thing.”

Hanbin listened in silence. Hao shuffled around so he could properly look at Hanbin. He placed a hand over Hanbin’s chest. 

“I want every morning to be just like this one. Just you holding me, and knowing my heart being safe with you,” Hao whispered. 

Coyly, he tore his gaze away. He always felt a bit shy when he voiced his feelings like this, like they were larger than his words could encapsulate. 

Hanbin reached for his face, softly turning it back to him. 

“I would give you the world if you asked for it,” Hanbin told him earnestly, eyes filled with quiet certainty. 

Hao knew Hanbin meant it. He always meant every word he said. 

“Well, I’m not asking for the world,” Hao mumbled shyly, looking down at where Hanbin’s heart was beating underneath his hand. “Just you.”

Hanbin sat up, moving Hao along in the process until they were face-to-face. His hand wandered down to Hao’s chin, lifting it up. 

Hao’s breath hitched and in the next moment, Hanbin’s lips found his. 

It wasn’t their most fiery kiss, but it still burned within Hao. He let Hanbin lead the kiss, simply enjoying everything he was given. Kissing Hanbin always took his breath away and turned his mind quiet. The only sound in his head was a peaceful rustle, like waves brushing up against the shore. It was fire and water at the same time. Hao wanted to drown in the feeling.

They were both gasping for air when Hanbin finally pulled away. Hao’s eyes were still tightly shut, heart beating wildly as he tried to sort himself out. Hanbin kissed him senseless in the best of ways. 

“Maybe I need to ask for one more thing,” he breathed out. He opened his eyes, meeting Hanbin’s gaze, resting on him dark and heavy. “You need to kiss me like this every day.”

The tension broke and Hanbin laughed fondly as Hao blushed red at his bolt request. 

Hanbin leaned forward, pecking his lips once more. 

“Anything you want,” he smiled, little creases forming on his cheeks and around his eyes. 

Hao’s heart fluttered with joy. Hanbin’s happiness might be the greatest sight on this earth. Prettier than even the prettiest flower. 

Before either of them could lean in for another kiss, they were disturbed by a knock on the door.

“I’ll get started on breakfast. You two should join us,” Matthew’s muffled voice called out for them. Hao was glad that his friend was sensible enough not to open the door, otherwise he would’ve found them entangled in the sheets. 

“We’ll be right out,” Hanbin called back. The footsteps that followed let them know that Matthew had heard him. 

Hanbin sighed. Instead of kissing Hao again, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to his temple. 

“Come on,” he said, helping Hao out of their messy sheets. “We need to get up. We have a lot of things planned for the day.”

Hao was a bit disappointed at having to leave the bed so soon. However, the prospect of today’s events motivated him to get ready. Besides, tonight he would get to be back in Hanbin’s arms once more. 

Matthew was rummaging around the kitchen when Hanbin and him made their way downstairs. Jiwoong was leaning over the counter, watching him with a fond look in his eyes. 

“Where is Taerae?” Hao asked when he couldn’t spot his friend. 

“Here,” someone yawned from behind him. Taerae was still huddled in his blanket as he shuffled into the kitchen. His hair resembled a bird’s nest and Hao’s lips trembled with amusement. 

“Oh, good! Everyone’s up then,” Matthew exclaimed, flipping the batter in his pan around. “I’m making my specialty pancakes.”

Hao decided to make himself useful and set the table in the living room. Hanbin soon joined his side, staying closer to him than usual. Hao didn’t mind it. Even after their night together he still couldn’t get enough of Hanbin. Being around him was addicting. The more you get, the more you want.

They worked out the remaining details of their plan over fluffy pancakes and fresh fruit. Hao felt the familiar thrill setting his nerves on fire. This anxious excitement - he had felt it before the day they had wanted to send the papers flying. Back then, everything had gone south. He could only hope today wouldn’t turn out to be as disastrous. 

 

Jiwoong got their horse out of the stable and bound it back in front of the carriage. Just like them, it looked well-rested and refreshed after a full night of sleep and a hearty breakfast. 

Before Hao could climb into the carriage, Hanbin pulled him aside. 

“Everything okay?” Hao asked when Hanbin’s gaze rested on him for a while without saying anything. 

Hanbin let out a shaky breath. “Are you carrying the dagger with you?”

A little taken aback by the sudden question, it took Hao a moment to reply. The dagger Hanbin had gifted him had mostly rested in his nightstand so far. Hao didn’t like the thought of carrying around a weapon. He didn’t think he could ever use it against anybody. 

Yet, when he had packed for this trip, he had slipped it into his suitcase without much thought. 

“I saw you brought it earlier,” Hanbin bit down on his lips. “And it would make me rest a lot easier letting you go on your own knowing you have it on you.”

Hao sighed. He patted against the inside pocket of his coat. 

“I have it with me,” Hao told him, making Hanbin exhale in relief. “But I don’t think I’ll need to use it. I trust Park Gunhee.”

“I do, too,” Hanbin quickly agreed. “But in case anything should happen and I’m not fast enough to reach you, you know how to use it.”

Hao nodded. He remembered the lesson Hanbin had taught him about self-defense. If he couldn’t use the weapon to hurt anyone, he could at least use it to buy himself some time to run. 

“I’ll be safe thanks to you,” Hao assured him, raising his hand to caress his fingers through Hanbin’s silky hair once. 

Hanbin reached for his hand and pressed it across his cheek, before kissing it. 

“We won’t be separated for long. Everything will go well,” Hanbin spoke. Hao wasn’t sure if he was talking to him or himself. 

“Everything will go well,” Hao repeated. 

It seemed like they both needed to hear it. 

 

Their moment got interrupted by Jiwoong approaching them.

“Hanbin, you have the map?” Jiwoong asked, looking ready to depart.

Hanbin stepped away from Hao. “Yes. I think I remember the way, but we’ll take it with us just to be sure we won’t get lost.”

“Great. Let’s get going then, as long as the weather is mild like this,” Jiwoong agreed. 

Hao squeezed Hanbin’s hand one last time, before climbing into the carriage. 

He took a deep breath in as he sat down next to Taerae. 

Everything will go well. 

 

The fields outside the window passed by quickly and peacefully. Hao, who had never seen much from their kingdom outside the castle and the cottage he grew up in, was astounded by the sight. The scenery was beautiful. It was also lonely and vast, like most of the countryside, but there was quiet serenity in it as well. It made his heart feel heavy in a weird way. 

No matter how optimistic he tried to be, deep down, he was full of anxiety. He kept kneading his own hands the entire trip, drowning out the soft chatter of Taerae and Matthew. They had waited so long for this one moment. It felt like an eternity ago since they had first come across the name Park Gunhee, centuries since they had figured out the meaning and identity behind it. And now it was finally time to put a face to Park Gunhee’s name, to fill out the name with a life and a story attached to it. 

How could Hao not be nervous when his expectations were so high for this meeting? He really hoped to get some new information. Park Gunhee was the first person he could ask honestly about his father who might give him honest answers in return. So far, Hao had investigated all on his own, with only the help from his friends, so getting to speak with an outside source, someone who had been so close to his father, felt surreal. 

He watched the trees and crop fields pass by, mind moving along with him. Slowly, the fields turned brighter colours, crops replaced by flowers. Red seas interweaved with blue seas and bright yellow and orange ones. The air around them smelled sweeter. They must be getting close. 

 

Suddenly, a black horse appeared on the horizon. Its rider steered right in their direction. At first, the sudden appearance on the otherwise abandoned road alarmed Hao. Then he recognized the silhouette of the rider coming closer. 

“Gunwook,” Hao informed his friends, who had never met the flowerboy before. “We must be close.”

Jiwoong slowed down and stopped the carriage as Gunwook crossed their path. Hao was the first one out of the carriage. 

Gunwook had jumped off his horse, speaking with Hanbin about the directions to their farmhouse. He stopped once he spotted Hao coming around the carriage. 

“Lord Zhang!” He respectfully lowered his head. “We were already awaiting your arrival. You really came.”

“Of course,” Hao smiled, bowing in return. “And please, just call me Hao from now on.”

Gunwook’s cheeks bunched up in happiness, nodding eagerly. 

Matthew and Taerae had followed him out by now, obviously curious to meet someone new. 

“Gunwook, this is Kim Taerae. He sings at the choir in the castle and he is a dear friend of mine,” Hao introduced them. “And this is Seok Matthew, he is a servant like your mother used to be, and you can trust him with your life.”

All three of them exchanged polite greetings, bowing at each other.

“Thank you for accepting our visit. Do you think your mother will allow just the three of us to talk to her?” Hao asked. 

Gunwook needed a moment to reply. Ever since he had introduced Taerae, his gaze seemed to have been stuck. 

“Right,” he tore his eyes away. “My mother thought it would just be you. She was really anxious. But I think you three will be fine. If you trust them, so will I.”

Anxious? Hao wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. 

“Thank you. We will try not to bother her for too long,” Hao promised him. “Will you show us the way to your home so we can meet her?”

Gunwook nodded. “Yes. That’s why I was riding out here. Our house lies offside the road, it’s hard to find if you don’t know the way. I didn't know Lord Sung would be traveling with you.”

Hao smiled as Gunwook glanced nervously in Hanbin’s direction. 

“That’s very kind of you. It’s actually been a while since I’ve been here, so your help would be much appreciated,” Hanbin said, pointing at the maps in his lap. 

Gunwook perked up, visibly happy to be of help. 

“It’s not far from here. You’re right on track,” Gunwook told him, moving back to mount his horse. 

Hao didn’t miss the look he threw at Taerae as he swung himself on top. His friend also looked mildly intrigued by this new acquaintance. Hao smiled to himself.

“Let’s go then!” Matthew clapped into his hands, bubbling with excitement. “My butt can’t take much more of those cushioned seats!”

That seemed to be the cue for their departure. 

 

Only five minutes after they had climbed back into the carriage, a farmhouse appeared in the distance. Gunwook showed Jiwoong a spot to park the carriage for now. 

Hao gave Hanbin one last reassuring smile, subtly pointing to the pocket he was carrying the knife in, because he knew it would make Hanbin feel better. Hanbin waved as he walked away, but his face and body was tense, like he was ready to fend off attackers any second. 

Hao hoped there would be no need for that. 

 

Gunwook went ahead, walking up a small cobbled path towards the farmhouse. A few chickens strayed over the porch. It smelled like hay and grass. 

“The next village is a few miles down the road, so it’s pretty private out here,” Gunwook explained to them. 

Hao hummed. Private was one way to put it. Lonely was another one. Had the Park family chosen this place to retire specifically for its secludedness? Had they not wanted to be found?

They reached the front door. Without much further warning, Gunwook pushed it open.

“Mom! Dad! We’re here!” He announced their arrival. 

He showed them where to put their coats. He was extra careful with Taerae’s, making sure there were no creases as he hung it on the coat rack for him. 

“This way,” he smiled, holding the door towards the living space open for them. 

His friends glanced his way, so Hao inhaled one last time, bracing himself for what was to come. Then he stepped ahead.

 

They entered a cluttered kitchen. A large wooden table took up most of its space. Different flowers were placed on top, some drying, some wrapped up with different papers and bows. Many of them looked exotic, but Hao recognized the peonies. Gunwook motioned for them to keep walking, so Hao opened the next door. 

The door led to a cozy living room. A small fire was burning in a corner, warming the air inside. All furniture in the room was wooden and looked like it was old and hand-made, knitted blankets and colorful cushions decorating it. There were flowers here too, releasing a soft, fresh fragrance. 

However, Hao didn’t pay much attention to the interior design of the room. His focus rested solely on the two people who had risen to their feet at his entrance. 

A tall woman stepped towards him. Park Gunhee. She was here. She was real. 

Her hair was long and black, and while Gunwook towered over her, she was still a tall woman, close to Hao’s own height. Her eyes were sharp and bright, sparkling the same way Gunwook’s did. There was a lot of wit in that mind of hers. Hao was sure of that.

Before Hao could even try to introduce himself, Gunhee had crossed the room. She lifted a hand to his face, inspecting it closely. 

“You have her beauty,” she whispered. Their eyes met. “Zhang Hao.”

Hao quickly lowered his head. It surprised him a little that Park Gunhee had recognized him without any introduction. After all, they had never seen each other before. 

“Lady Park,” Hao bowed. “Thank you for welcoming us to your home.”

Behind Gunhee, someone cleared his throat. A man, an alpha, was standing behind her. Presumably her mate and Gunwook’s father. To be honest, Hao hadn’t spent much time thinking about him, much more interested in Gunhee herself. That didn’t mean that getting his approval didn’t matter now. He was the only alpha in the household, he was part of the Park family and he had met the same fate because of his father. 

“Thank you, too, Lord Park,” he kept bowing.

“Stand up straight,” the man told him sternly. He eyed him warily. “So you are the Zhang boy. The one giving our Gunwookie those books and sending my mate that letter.”

Hao tried his best to keep his head high and not get intimidated. Hearing it like this, it did sound like he was once again causing trouble for the Park family. There was no denying that Hao and his question would disrupt the peace the Park family had built for them here.

“I am scholar Zhang’s son, yes,” he confirmed steadily. “I am very much who you think I am.”

Lord Park huffed, but his mate chuckled amused. 

“You have your mother’s beauty, but your father’s nerve,” she commented. “That can be a dangerous combination.”

Hao smiled unsurely. “I’m not here to bring you into any danger. I just want to talk to you.”

Gunhee sighed, before nodding. “Yes. Let’s talk.”

She gave her mate a pointed look. He grumbled a little, before announcing that he needed to do some work outside at the flower fields. It reminded Hao a little of how reluctantly Hanbin had let him go off on his own. It spoke of the relationship Gunwook’s parents had. It meant a lot to him that Gunhee trusted him enough to send her mate away. 

 

“Gunwook, be a dear and make our guests some tea, please?” Gunhee asked her son, who nodded eagerly. 

He turned to Taerae. “What flavor do you like?”

Taerae’s lips quirked up. “Anything that’s sweet.”

Gunwook nodded, hurrying into the kitchen without asking anyone else for their tea preference. 

Hao didn’t really mind, far more eager to get straight to the point. 

Gunhee sat down in a comfortable arm chair, leaving the couch to them. Hao didn’t hesitate to sit, sliding into the spot closest to her. He was ready to start talking. 

“Lady Park-”

“Just call me Gunhee,” she interrupted him. “I don’t have a title.”

Hao had known that. Usually, only noble people were addressed as Lady or Lord, but for him it was a sign of respect to not call people just by their name if you met them for the first time. 

“If that’s what you prefer,” Hao said. “You can call me Hao in return.”

“Sure, Hao,” she agreed easily. He eyed the other two people on the couch. “Do you usually bring your fellowship when you meet someone?”

Flustered, Hao realized that he had yet to introduce his friends. 

“I’m sorry,” Hao apologized for his mistake. “This is my friend, Kim Taerae, also the son of a scholar. And Seok Matthew, he works as a servant at the castle.”

“A servant?” Gunhee perked up, eyes sparkling with curiosity. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Matthew saluted playfully. 

Gunhee exhaled as she leaned back in her chair. His sharp gaze focused back on Hao.

“What are you up to, Zhang Hao?”

“Before we start talking, is it alright for my friends to stay? They know everything I know and have been by my side for the entire journey. There is nothing I don’t trust them with,” Hao asked, not wanting to overwhelm Gunhee with the presence of two more unexpected strangers. 

“I don’t mind a scholar’s son and a servant staying in my home,” Gunhee confirmed. “But I do hope that this conversation will stay confidential. After all, I fear I already know what you might’ve come here to ask.”

Hao swallowed. Of course, Gunhee was smart. She must have an idea why Hao had contacted her after all these years. 

Gunwook came back with the tea, placing their cups down on the small coffee table in the middle. 

“Careful, it’s hot,” he spoke to Taerae when he put down his cup in front of him. 

Taerae smiled and nodded. Gunwook went to sit down in a chair next to his mother, right opposite of him. 

Hao cleared his throat. 

“I want to talk to you about my father,” Hao decided to be straight forward. “I have a theory you might know more about the circumstances of his death.”

Gunhee watched him intrigued. 

“What makes you think that? His death was ruled a tragic accident, after all,” she said.

Hao met her gaze unafraid. “I found my father’s old scriptures. The Rose Project. I don’t think his death was an accident. I think he was murdered because he was writing about the injustice in our kingdom.”

For a moment, Gunhee looked awed. “You found it?”

Hao nodded. The name must’ve awoken some memories in Gunhee. He wasn’t sure if they were good ones yet.

 “He bequeathed it to me. It’s mine now. And I decided to revive it.”

Gunhee sucked in a deep breath. “That scripture…it’s dangerous.”

That confirmed it. Park Gunhee knew about the project. She had seen the scriptures. She knew what they were about and why they were dangerous. 

“Why do you think that?” Hao asked her. 

Gunhee gave him a dry laugh. “Don’t tell me you don’t know why. I can tell you’ve got your father’s mind, Hao. I bet you already have a theory about everything.”

“I do, but as you said, it’s only a theory. You were there. You know what happened.You know the truth,” Hao countered. He needed to know what Gunhee knew. 

Gunhee sighed deeply. “Fine. What do you want to know?”

Relief flushed Hao at the open invitation. Now that he was allowed to ask, he could no longer hold back.

“What do you know about my father’s death?” Hao asked again. 

This time, Gunhee didn’t avoid the question with a counter-question. 

“You are right. It was not an accident. At least, I don’t believe so,” Gunhee told him. 

Hao’s heart dropped. Of course, he had known, he had always known, but hearing it out loud, confirmed it. It made it real. This was proof. His father had been murdered.

Finally, Hao knew the truth. 

“Your father was a great thinker, who brought much goodness to our kingdom. He was beloved by many. But there were few who despised him and his visions. Few who wanted to see him gone for the changes he brought, and the changes he strove to bring,” Gunhee elaborated. “This scripture. The Rose Project. It was a thorn in their eyes.”

Hao’s throat felt dry all of a sudden. He reached for his tea and took a careful sip. It had a peachy flavor and ran down his throat sweet and smooth. Slowly, he placed it back on the table. 

He took a deep breath. This next question was a loaded one. He knew it.

“Was one of those people Lord Yoon?”

Just the sound of the name made Gunhee tense up. Again, Hao had found his answer. 

“Lord Yoon is a powerful man,” Gunhee muttered. 

“Did he threaten you to leave the castle?” Hao pried further. “Back when my father died?”

Gunhee met his gaze. Then she tore away. With shaky fingers, she fished something out of the pocket of her robes. Hao realized it was a piece of paper. He watched attentively as Gunhee put it down on her lap.

“I first met your father when I was a young servant. I always had a way with plants, so the old Queen trusted me with her gardens. Your father was very interested in flowers at the time, wanted to know what made them so resilient,” Gunhee said.

She picked up her cup of tea and took a slow sip.

“I taught him everything I knew. Back then, I thought it was a bit funny, after all he was the scholar and I was just a servant. Most scholars wouldn’t think we would have anything to say. But your father was kind, he listened to everything, told me it helped him a lot with his scriptures.”

Gunhee traced the rim of her cup with her fingers, lost in thought. Hao held his breath, hanging onto every word of hers.

“Even when your father eventually moved on from flowers, he still came to talk to me. He said he liked getting my viewpoint on his scriptures before he published them,” she continued. “Your father was a good man. He didn’t deserve to die so young.”

She sighed heavily, placing her cup back down.

“It was two days after your father’s death. At this point, I wasn’t sure what to believe. People were saying it had been an accident, it had been winter and the towers had been frozen. He could’ve slipped and fallen. At the same time, you and your mother had seemingly fled the castle overnight. It all didn’t make sense,” Gunhee recounted her memories. 

They vaguely matched with Hao’s own blurry ones. He remembered how his mother had pulled him out of his bed, how snow had lain outside and how he had huddled close to her as the carriage took them away to the cottage. 

“That day, I came back to our rooms and there was a letter laying on my bed. It confused me, servants don’t get letters. And my mate never thought much of the written word, so it couldn’t be from him.”

She unfolded the piece of paper that she had pulled out of her robes. Hao’s breath hitched as he recognized the Yoon wax sigil. She placed it down on the table. 

Slowly Hao leaned forward, curious to read it. 

‘Stay quiet or meet the same fate.’

His body shivered as a cold shower ran down his back. It was just one sentence, but Hao could imagine the horror Gunhee must’ve felt reading it back then. 

“After that, it was clear to me. Someone must’ve caught wind of The Rose Project and decided to get rid of it,” Gunhee said. “So, I packed my things, I grabbed Gunwook and my mate and ran away. My mate’s family owned flower fields in the countryside and they could always use help here. It was far enough away to make sure we would all be safe.”

So it was true. Gunhee had fled, just like he had. He knew he had been a barely presented child back then, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty. The Park family had suffered greatly because of their involvement with his father. 

He picked up the letter, tracing the sigil with his thumb. This was it. This was proof. Together with Gunhee’s words, it could be enough to sway a judge. 

He felt bad for asking, but he had to. He had sworn to bring justice to his father’s death. 

“Gunhee, I know it must be hard for you, but you know the truth. If you speak up-”

“I can’t,” she interrupted him right away. “Lord Yoon is a powerful man. People wouldn’t believe me over him. I’m nothing but a mere servant. And an omega, too.”

Hao could empathize with her fear and desperation, but he wanted to overcome them with her. 

“My father was murdered. And Lord Yoon is still dangerous. You can help end this. Please,” Hao begged her. 

She gave him a pitiful look. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not fair. It’s not fair you lost your father, but I cannot help you. It’s too dangerous. You know that.”

“Please, we can help protect you. You have proof, we just need to find a way-”

“No,” Gunhee said fiercely. “Your father is dead. I’m sorry. But he is dead. And The Rose Project died with him. The fight is over.”

Something inside of Hao shifted. Until now had felt guilt and compassion towards Gunhee. Now he felt angry. 

“The Rose Project is not dead. It’s alive. It’s me. It us,” he pointed to Taerae and Matthew. “We are The Rose Project.”

“You shouldn’t be. You will end up like your father,” Gunhee told him. 

“You once believed in it, too. Otherwise my father wouldn’t have included you in The Rose Project!” Hao argued fiercely. “The fight is not over.”

“I-”

“I’m not asking for your help with The Rose Project, again. If you want to join, you are more than welcome to. But I cannot ask that of you after what you went through,” Hao said. “All I ask is for you to go on the record about my father’s death. You knew him. You said he didn’t deserve to die. Please, help me to make this right. Help me to bring him justice.”

Hao met her gaze head-on. He knew he was asking a lot, but Gunhee was his only hope right now. 

Gunhee remained silent for a long time. She studied his face closely, like she was trying to see something. Then there was a moment where she seemed to have found what she had been looking for. It seemed that something inside of her had shifted, like a seed had blossomed. 

Hao was breathing heavily, he had talked so fast he had forgotten to breathe in between. 

“I…I want to help you,” Gunhee finally said. “But I am afraid. My word alone might not be enough.”

Hao could understand so well. It was a scary thing, speaking up. He was still learning himself.

“I am trying to find more people who know the truth. You might not have to do it alone,” Hao tried to encourage her. 

“Other people?” Gunhee asked. 

Hao nodded. “My father told other people about The Rose Project. You are the first one we are talking to, but-”

“I will be the first and only one,” Gunhee stopped him. 

That made Hao halt in confusion. “W-what?” 

“There were four of us, right? When you found my name, you found three other names as well. Sejun, Solhee, Rei and me,” Gunhee replied. 

Hao nodded, perplexed. So all the people who were involved had known about each other. 

“Your father had been looking for allies. People who he trusted. People whose opinions he respected, whose support he would need,” Gunhee said. “He knew the scripture would be controversial, so he wanted to do it right.”

“What happened to them?” Hao questioned curiously. 

“Solhee was an elderly healer. I heard she died a few years ago of old age, but she stayed at the castle till the end. I suppose Lord Yoon never suspected her. Sejun…he drowned shortly after your father’s death. He was a scholar, he wrote mostly about the sea and traveled a lot. It was ruled an accident as well, but I am not so sure about that, either,” Gunhee answered. 

Her eyes were filled with sadness. 

Hao’s heart felt heavy. Death seemed to follow The Rose Project.

“What about Min Rei?” He asked. He knew she was alive, at least. Ricky and Gyuvin were currently traveling to see her.

“She was exiled. Accused of treason without even getting a hearing. She had to leave our kingdom and is not allowed to return,” Gunhee replied, putting the last puzzle piece into place. “I’m the only one left.”

Defeat overcame Hao. This couldn’t be true. Had all their efforts been for nothing?

 

No.

This was not it. He came all this way. Giving up simply wasn’t an option. 

They might find a way to bring Min Rei back into their country. And they still had Park Gunhee. She was their best bet. 

“Then I can only ask you once again to help me,” Hao pleaded. “We will publish The Rose Project. It will become so big that Lord Yoon cannot shut us down anymore. Then it will be much safer for you to speak up. And we have ways to protect you.”

Gunhee eyed him, not sure if she should believe him. “What ways?”

“Prince Ricky. He is a part of The Rose Project, too,” Hao answered. “He could grant you immunity.”

“Please, you have read the scripture. Prince Ricky has no real power, he is an omega,” Gunhee shook his head. “His request only needs to be overruled by one alpha. And I’m sure Lord Yoon has many powerful friends who owe him a favor.”

“Prince Ricky might not have brute force, but he has soft power. He has influence. People listen to him, people trust him. If he supports you openly, people will trust you, too,” Hao insisted. 

He felt kind of bad, using Ricky’s status and reputation in this way, but if it would convince Gunhee to be brave and speak up, it was worth it. He also didn’t think Ricky would mind too much. After all, he was a rebel at heart.

Gunhee still looked reluctant. 

“I will not leave your side if you decide to come to the castle. And I will only ask you to do so once I know it is safe. I promise you, I will do everything in my power to protect you should you decide to go on the record,” Hao pursued. 

He knew it was a strong promise to make, but it was one he intended to keep. No one would die because of The Rose Project anymore. Not if he could help it.

Gunhee looked at him for a long moment. Time seemed to stretch around them. Hao held his breath. If Gunhee still didn’t want to help after this, he would accept her no. After all, he understood her fear. 

“Okay,” Gunhee finally said. “Once the time comes, if you ask me to, I will speak up.”

Hao almost didn’t trust his ears. 

“R-really?” 

Gunhee smiled, almost motherly. “I can see him in you. You are right, I once believed in the project, too. I still believe. I think your father would be very proud to see you continue his fight.”

Hao’s heart swelled. His vision blurred with tears of joy and relief, but he quickly wiped them away. Relief was a powerful feeling. Their efforts and sacrifices had not been in vain.

“Thank you. I know it’s not easy, I know you suffered a lot on my family’s behalf,” Hao acknowledged. “And I sincerely apologize for everything we put you through.”

“Your family has never brought suffering on me,” Gunhee denied. Then she grimaced. “It’s that rotten Yoon family.” She looked full of fight now. “And it’s time we do something against that.”

Hao smiled, encouraged by Gunhee’s changed attitude. Someone could only take so much and it seemed like she had taken enough. It felt good to see there was still fight left in her. Lord Yoon had taken so much from them, but he had not broken their spirit yet.

“There is still much we need to do first. The Rose Project needs a lot of work and I want to make it as safe as possible for you to come forward. There are more people we need to talk to. For now, you should stay here, where it’s safe for you,” Hao told her. “But once it’s time, I will let you know by letter.”

Gunhee nodded, a slick smile on her lips. “I see. As expected, a Zhang always has a plan.”

“Thank you, again. For agreeing to see me. And your hospitality. And your help,” Hao lowered his head in respect. “I will forever be indebted to you.”

Gunhee sighed. “Just stay safe. I fear there are dangerous times lying ahead of you. For all of you.”

She looked at Taerae and Matthew as she said so.

Matthew grinned and shrugged. “Hao promised us some trouble. Personally, I’m really looking forward to it.”

Taerae rolled his eyes and nudged his friend in his side with his elbow. “Excuse him. We’re really thankful for all your information. It’s really fascinating to speak with one of the original members. There probably wouldn’t be a Rose Project without you.”

“It was mostly Fei’s doing. We were just helping where we could, sharing our experiences with him,” Gunhee shook her head. “He was the core of it all.”

Taerae smiled in Hao’s direction. “It’s much the same these days.”

Hao flushed at the praise. Getting compared to his father never felt right in the past. Those had always been footsteps too big to ever fill. But maybe one day he could walk his own path, without needing to measure up to him. 

“Thank you again,” Hao bowed. “We don’t want to impose on you much longer. We’re very grateful for everything. Let us know if the situation here changes or you start to feel unsafe. If need be, I will find a place to hide you and your family.”

Gunhee shook her head. “I have my own ways to stay safe. Don’t worry about that.”

Hao really hoped that the sheer distance between the castle and flowerfields would grant Gunhee the safety she had expected to find here.

“It was a pleasure to meet you,” Gunhee said as they rose to their feet. She gave Hao one more long look. “You do really look just like your mother, but your eyes…your eyes are all Fei’s.”

A warm sensation spread in Hao’s chest, like a glowing gemstone had replaced his heart. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled flustered. 

 

Very satisfied with how the conversation went, they got ready to leave. They were about to head out the door when Gunwook stopped them. 

“Hao, do you…can I ask you something?” Gunwook asked him with a sheepish look. 

“Of course,” Hao replied right away. 

“May I…may I join you on your journey back? I need to deliver some flowers to the castle anyway and I…would love to learn more about The Rose Project,” Gunwook requested earnestly. 

Hao smiled. After sitting in on their earlier conversation, Gunwook pretty much knew everything already. Besides, Hao had wanted to have him on their side anyway. Gunwook’s sharp mind would only be an advantage. 

“You are already one of us,” Hao told him easily. “I think we would all be delighted to have you around for the trip back.”

Gunwook beamed. When he saw Taerae’s warm smile, he choked and his cheeks turned red. 

“Thank you! That’s great! I’ll go get my bag and be out with you in a minute,” Gunwook squeaked in between coughs, running back into the house as they stepped outside. 

Hao giggled lightly. Matthew was wiggling his eyebrows, shoving Taerae lightly. 

“What did you do to him?” He cackled. 

Taerae rolled his eyes, but there was a smile playing on his lips. “He for sure is a very interesting fellow.”

Somehow Hao couldn’t help but feel giddy. At least, like this, Taerae would no longer be the only one left out in their group. 

Jiwoong and Hanbin had parked the carriage around the corner of the farmhouse. 

They must’ve seen them approach from afar, because they jumped down the coachbox before they had even closed the distance. 

Hao’s gaze was immediately drawn to Hanbin, who was apparently trying to meet him half way, walking towards him with brisk steps. 

Ever since Gunhee had agreed to speak up, the feeling of relief had spurred Hao on. Everything had gone well. Gunhee was on their side and Gunwook was joining them as well. For the first time in a long time, everything seemed to be going their way.

His feet acted on their own and he began running towards Hanbin. Uncaring of the audience, Hao jumped into his arms, letting Hanbin twirl him around as he pulled him in for a kiss. 

His lips were met eagerly, Hanbin holding him impossibly close. 

“Quit it, guys!” Matthew’s voice scolded them, tearing them apart. “It’s hardly been over an hour and you two act like you haven’t seen each other in years!”

A bit embarrassed now after all, Hao tried to separate from Hanbin, who only tightened his hold on his waist.

“If you’re in love, minutes feel like years,” Hanbin teased him back. 

Matthew groaned in disgust. “Goodness, please never say anything to me ever again."

He was only distracted once Jiwoong stepped by his side. He intertwined their hands and pulled Matthew in to press a short kiss to his hair. 

“I suppose your conversation went well then?” He asked with a smile on his lips. 

“Very well,” Taerae affirmed, pulling both Hao and Matthew away from the alphas. “Gunwook is riding with us now. We’ll tell you everything once we’re back at the cottage.”

Without further ado, Taerae dragged them both into the carriage. 

“Hey!” Matthew protested as he was squished against the cushions. 

“What? You can smooch Jiwoong all you want once we’re back at the cottage and I don’t have to see it,” Taerae deadpanned at him.

Matthew glared at him, but Hao burst out laughing. Taerae had a point.

He leaned against the window, watching the carriage set in motion again. Gunwook’s horse strutted alongside them. 

It seemed like things were finally looking up.

Notes:

thank you for reading!! :3

hehe more of a plot focus today, a few things are revealed and some old theories get confirmed :D what do you think??
also i tried to sprinkle in some haobin moments i hope you like it :)))

everybody stay safe and healthy :D

Chapter 28: Moonflowers

Summary:

moonflower. represents the beauty that comes out of the darkness; also stands for dreaming of love

Notes:

hiii here we go again enjoyyy

They had found a rhythm by now. The sound of pots and pans clattering in the kitchen and wood being chopped in the backyard resonated the air. The Sung cottage was filled with life again as the day came to an end. Hao watched his friends bustle around with a fond smile on his lips. 

Was this what youth was supposed to be like?

Gunwook joined his side. He had just cared for both their horses outside, making sure they got along well before they went to rest in the stables for the night. 

He looked a little lost standing in the room. 

“Come on, I’ll show you around,” Hao took mercy on him, hooking his arm with Gunwook’s. 

After all, he supposed he would be of no big help with neither cooking dinner nor gathering wood and starting a fire. 

 

“Lord Sung is so gracious, letting all of us stay here,” Gunwook commented as Hao guided him through all the rooms.

Hao’s heart warmed hearing Hanbin being spoken about so kindly. He truly deserved all the praise. He took a turn to their right, opening the door to the small study.

“The entire Sung family is really gracious,” Hao agreed, remembering how easily Hanbin’s parents had agreed to their extended stay at the cottage. 

“You must be happy, having found such a kind mate,” Gunwook hummed as he inspected the shelves in the cramped office space. 

Hao’s cheeks heated up. 

“He is not my mate yet,” he mumbled shyly. 

Gunwook turned to look at him. “But he will be, right? You two were made to find each other.”

“I-” Hao’s words got stuck in his throat. Gunwook had sounded so nonchalant about the issue, as if it wasn’t even a question. “Do you meet many alphas out in the countryside?”

Gunwook shrugged. “Not really. People come and buy flowers a lot, but that’s it.”

“It must be lonely,” Hao hummed, knowing how he had felt when he had been younger, stuck with just his own mother and nothing worthwhile to do. 

“I get to make a lot of trips, so it’s not that bad,” Gunwook smiled. 

Hao sensed the sadness behind that smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Do you have someone? Besides your parents?” 

Gunwook averted his gaze, looking at his feet instead. “I do have Dookie. She’s my best friend.”

Dookie was the horse Gunwook had ridden. Hao remembered how fond Gunwook had treated her. It told you a lot about a person how they treated those around them, especially those in their care. Gunwook treated everyone with gentleness, animals and humans alike. Together with his brightness and sharp mind, it made Gunwook an incredible friend to have. 

“You have us now, too. The Rose Project,” Hao told him, reaching out his hand to pat Gunwook’s shoulder. “You’re one of us.”

Gunwook’s gaze was a bit stunned, before he smiled, this time genuinely happy. “Thank you. I know I’m just a lowly flowerboy, but I do want to learn so much from you!”

Hao shook his head. “You are never just , Gunwook. You are so much more than you think you are. And I think it is me who will learn a lot from you.”

His words seemed to have flustered Gunwook, who coyly ducked his head. 

 

The moment was interrupted by Taerae sticking his head into the room. Gunwook’s posture changed immediately, standing alert and tall. 

“Dinner is about to be ready,” Taerae said with an amused smile. His twinkling eyes took in Gunwook’s almost impossible straight posture. “If you two want to join us.”

Hao nodded right away. “Thank you. We’re coming,” he said. “Wait, Taerae!”

Taerae stopped in his motion, raising an expectant eyebrow. “Yes?”

Hao pointed towards the bag Gunwook was still carrying on his back. 

“Do we need to change the sleeping arrangements or can Gunwook join you on the other sofa? I don’t mind switching if either of you prefers a bed,” Hao asked him. 

Taerae’s gaze flickered back to Gunwook, scanning him over once. Gunwook shuffled nervously on his feet, avoiding eye-contact. 

“No, it’s alright. I’m sure Gunwook and I will be fine on our own,” Taerae finally said, before swiftly turning around and heading towards the kitchen. 

Next to him, Gunwook looked bewitched.

“Hao,” Gunwook asked him quietly. “Taerae…is he…does he…have someone? Like you have Lord Sung?”

Hao squinted his eyes at Gunwook. It was obvious that Gunwook had been quite fascinated by Taerae since first laying his eyes on him, but perhaps there was even more to it. He was barely able to hide his smile. It seemed like Gunwook would really teach them all. 

“No, he does not,” Hao replied. He didn’t want to say more, after all it was Taerae’s private life. If Gunwook wanted to know more, he would have to ask himself.

Satisfied with that information for now, Gunwook nodded. 

“Shall we join the others for dinner now? I fear we have many things to discuss. It might be a long night,” Hao said, walking ahead. Gunwook followed him without hesitation. 

 

 

Matthew had cooked up another delicious stew. A warm fire was flaring in the fireplace, warming up the room nicely. They settled around the table. 

Hanbin handed him a bowl as he pulled him down in the spot next to him. Hao accepted it gratefully. It had been a long and intense day. All that worrying had made him quite famished. 

The first few bites were eaten in absolute silence. Apparently hunger had befallen them all. Then, after the first hunger had been satiated, Matthew started chatting away, always quick to make new friends. He was very curious about Gunwook, asking him all kinds of questions about himself. 

Gunwook surprised them all when he revealed that he actually wrote a lot of his own music whenever he got bored on his long trips. It was something Hao also hadn’t known before, but it fit well with Gunwook. He could picture him with an instrument, coming up with little melodies to sweeten up his day and make himself feel less lonely. 

“That’s so neat! Taerae is actually in the choir, so you two should definitely do something together in the future!” Matthew pointed out excitedly. 

Gunwook’s gaze shifted back to Taerae. “You sing?”

“I do,” Taerae confirmed. “I can also play the guitar.”

“I love the guitar,” Gunwook said, sounding positively enchanted and making Taerae smile.

“You should play me some of your music some time then,” Taerae told him and Gunwook nodded eagerly. 

Hao watched the exchange with a fluttering feeling in his heart. If nothing else, he was just happy that a new friendship was born. Gunwook could definitely do with a few more of those. 

Jiwoong cleared his throat. “I don’t want to interrupt you getting acquainted, but you still haven’t told us what exactly happened with Park Gunhee.”

He was right. So far, there hadn’t been a quiet moment to discuss what they had learned today with everyone. Only now, fully satiated and covered by the falling night, did they find the time to really talk. 

“You’re no fun, I was still getting to know Gunwookie!” Matthew pouted, nudging Jiwoong in his side. 

Jiwoong poked him right back. “Hey, you weren’t sitting outside for an eternity, worrying about what was going on and if you needed our help,” he said. “I swear, Hanbin was moments away from storming inside.”

“I was not!” Hanbin quickly intercepted, making Hao giggle. 

He reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. He knew Hanbin had been worried. It meant a lot that he trusted him enough to let him do all these things alone, knowing how dangerous it could be. But Hao wasn’t helpless. He didn’t always need to be protected. He was a smart man and Hanbin respected that. 

“Gunhee was a very gracious host. We are a lot wiser now thanks to her,” Hao said, deciding to open the conversation. “Your mother is a very brave woman, Gunwook.”

Gunwook smiled proudly. “I know.”

 

They took turns recounting the most important parts of the conversation. 

Most of Hao’s theory had been right. Gunhee and her family had fled the castle after his father’s death, threatened by Lord Yoon to keep quiet. There had been a Rose Project back then, too, under the leadership of his father, who had tried to find supporters before publishing it. Now they had solid evidence that hinted towards the death of his father not being an accident. Gunhee was a witness and she still had the letter with the Yoon sigil supporting her claim.

Of course, there was bad news as well.

“So Lord Yoon might’ve murdered another member of The Rose Project,” Jiwoong said out loud, letting out a long sigh. 

“Kim Sejun. They said he drowned, but his death was suspiciously close to the death of my father,” Hao confirmed. The fact that another person might’ve died at the hands of Lord Yoon made him shiver in horror. 

“That’s why we couldn’t find him in recent records either,” Taerae hummed. “All his works must be over ten years old.”

“And Min Rei was exiled for treason,” Hanbin said with furrowed brows. “Lord Yoon really did everything to make sure The Rose Project would die with Scholar Zhang.”

“He must’ve been really angry if he went that far,” Gunwook commented thoughtfully. “Or really afraid.”

That’s what Hao gathered as well. It’s what Matthew had said back when he had been injured. Lord Yoon must be terrified of the impact the Rose Project could have. That’s why he was fighting so hard to keep it under wraps and silence their voices. 

“But wait, if Min Rei was exiled, can Ricky and Gyuvin even do anything?” Matthew asked. “She cannot come back to give a statement.”

“Ricky could ask for her to be pardoned,” Hanbin replied with an idea. “Members of the royal family can revoke certain judgements.”

“But let me guess, it has to be an alpha having to pardon her?” Taerae chimed in. 

Hanbin sighed, defeated. “I don’t know the laws well, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Most noble omegas aren’t granted political powers.”

“Couldn’t Gyuvin do something? He is an alpha and a prince,” Matthew suggested. 

Jiwoong shook his head. “He is a prince of the Northern Empire. Just like Ricky, he could only ask for her to be pardoned as a diplomatic effort between our kingdoms.”

“So we have nothing besides Gunhee’s word? Her letter is the only solid proof we have against Lord Yoon?” Matthew summarized. 

It was quiet for a moment. Hao met Taerae’s gaze across the room. His friend seemed to have the same thought. Hao nodded at him to go ahead. 

“Actually, there is one person we are forgetting about. One person Gunhee didn’t mention, but who must’ve known about everything. Someone whose name is all over The Rose Project as well,” Taerae said. 

All heads turned to him. Taerae gave him a questioning look. Hao sighed. 

There was one more person whose last name was Zhang - the name most prominently associated with The Rose Project, the name written on its title page.

“Zhang Mei,” he answered the unspoken question in the room. “My mother.”

It was obvious that his mother must know more than she let on. She was not a scholar herself, but Hao knew that his father had shared everything with her. He could not have kept The Rose Project from her. His mother was too sharp to hide it from. Hao knew from experience. 

“You reckon your mother might know more?” Hanbin asked him carefully. 

“I’m certain she knows the truth. That’s why we fled. That’s why she only dared to return ten years later, when the will forced her to find me a mate,” Hao answered him clearly. “She warned me about the Yoons before. I’m more than certain she knows all about The Rose Project, too.”

Silence filled the space between them. 

It was so obvious. Zhang Mei held all the answers. In all the years they had lived with each other, she had never said a word to him. It had taken Hao to investigate secretly to get to the bottom of his father’s death. He knew, if he didn’t do it right, she would remain quiet. 

However, he also knew, sooner or later, he would have to ask her. And when the time came, he would not be satisfied with lies or weak excuses. 

“If my mother was afraid of speaking up, I can only imagine how terrified your mother must be,” Gunwook broke the silence first.

Hao had never thought of his mother as a fearful woman. She was fierce and headstrong, stubborn even, but never afraid. However, Gunwook’s words rang true.

Now that he thought about it, his mother had made a big effort separating their name from the reputation from his father. She had avoided speaking about him ever since they came back to the castle, and even before that, as if wanting to signal that that chapter of their life was in the past. 

Perhaps returning to the castle had frightened her more than Hao had thought. That’s why she had done anything possible to show the people that they were no threat. That she hadn’t come to revive any old rebellions. That she was only there for one purpose: Courting season. 

She had made sure Hao was only talked about in regards to his beauty, had made sure when people spoke his name, it was only in the context of the courting season. She had made him appear harmless, just another omega searching for a mate.  

Yet, Hao had gone behind her back and done what she had so desperately tried to portray they weren’t doing. He had gone and dug up the past. 

“Hao?” Hanbin’s voice was soft, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Are you feeling well?”

Hao inhaled deeply, softly nodding. 

“Yes,” he confirmed quickly. “Just…I hope one day she’ll be honest with me.”

“I’m sure she didn’t lie to you with ill intentions,” Taerae comforted him. “She must have her reasons.”

Hao hummed. That’s what he was afraid about. Because now there was no turning back anymore. What if he had dug all of their graves by meddling in the past?

 

It was late in the night when they all headed to bed. For hours, they had been discussing their next steps. There were so many possibilities and what ifs. 

The only thing Hao was sure of was that they should rather publish The Rose Project sooner than later. Otherwise Lord Yoon might find another way to cross their plans. All his threats would become useless once the scripture was out there. Then people could make up their own minds about everything. 

Once he would be back at the castle, Hao would pick up the pace, rewriting all flying papers. At least, that was something he could do. Something that was in his power. 

Still, the future of The Rose Project frightened him. What was Lord Yoon doing at the moment? Was he also strategizing against them? Was he just waiting for them to make the next move? Was his mother safe? 

“I can hear you thinking,” Hanbin spoke into the silence of the night. 

He was laying next to him in bed, staring at the ceiling just like Hao was. 

“Sorry,” Hao apologized, not wanting to keep Hanbin awake when he should be getting rest. After all, they were traveling again tomorrow and it would be a long trip.

Hanbin chuckled softly. “Don’t apologize. I love listening to your thoughts.”

Hao heard him shuffle around in the sheets until he was resting on his side. Hao sighed, but also turned around so he could face him. 

He realized that Hanbin was the first thing he had seen today, and he would also be the last. It was something that made his heart soar with joy, despite the doubts clouding his mind. Hanbin would always be a ray of sunshine, even in the darkest of days. 

“You did really well today. Getting Park Gunhee to open up to you after everything she went through. Bringing Gunwook here. I don’t think you always realize what great things you are achieving every single day,” Hanbin praised him. 

A fond feeling spread in Hao’s chest. It was nice hearing Hanbin speak about him so kindly. The truth was, however, that Hao could’ve never done any of it without all the help he has been getting along the way. Everyone who had joined The Rose Project had helped him out tremendously. Meanwhile, all Hao did for them was lead them face forward into danger.

“I’m just…worried about everything again,” Hao admitted, although he did not want to burden Hanbin with his concerns again. 

Hanbin hummed. “You do that a lot.”

Hao smiled painfully. “I fear I can’t help it. My brain is just wired to worry all the time.”

“Sounds exhausting,” Hanbin commented. 

“It is. Especially at night, when I want to sleep,” Hao sighed in agony. 

He wondered if his father had been the same. People always praised his father for his active mind, but sometimes Hao wondered if being a great thinker also had some disadvantages. Like lying awake at night, because your mind was so full of thoughts, sleep refused to find you. 

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Hanbin asked him all of a sudden. 

Hao blinked, not sure he had heard right. He sharply turned his head around. “What?”

“A walk? You and me?” Hanbin repeated with a soft smile. 

He looked serious. Hanbin was always serious about what he said. By now there was no doubt left about the sincerity of his words.

“What? Like, right now?” Hao questioned, not sure he understood correctly. 

“We’re not at the castle at the moment. Nobody will know if we wander around at night,” Hanbin shrugged, giving him a cheeky smirk. 

“But…it’s so late. You need rest,” Hao argued, trying to be reasonable. 

“That has never stopped you before, has it?” Hanbin countered playfully. 

“I-” Hao was out of arguments. It was true that he had more often than not foregone sleep to go for a walk instead when he had gotten especially restless.

“I know you want to. I know it helps your thoughts to settle down,” Hanbin said softly. 

He was right. Usually, when Hao’s thoughts had gotten too much for him, he had gone outside and roamed the forest. Since coming to the castle, he had been forced to break that habit. Omegas had to adhere to bedtime and with Lord Yoon on the loose, it was not safe for him to roam around in the darkness.

But as Hanbin had just so helpfully pointed out, they were no longer at the castle. 

Hao’s legs twitched restlessly. The overwhelming need to move overcame him like a storm. 

“Can we really?” He asked, just to be sure. 

Hanbin laughed fondly. He pushed the sheets aside. The next thing Hao knew, he was pulled to his feet. Hanbin draped a thick coat over his shoulders. 

He motioned for him to stay quiet as they sneaked out of the room. Giddiness filled Hao’s chest. There was probably no need to sneak around, since they were only here with their friends, but somehow the secrecy made this sudden endeavour a lot more fun.

Jiwoong’s and Matthew’s room was silent as they passed it. Hanbin held his hand as he slowly guided him down the stairs. 

The quiet voices of Gunwook and Taerae reached Hao’s ear from where they were resting in the living room. They seemed to be conversing with each other, also not yet ready to fall asleep. 

 

Hanbin pulled him further along. As carefully as possible he opened the front door and they slipped outside. 

They walked a few steps until they were sure they could no longer be heard inside the house before they started laughing. 

A sense of youth and adventure overcame Hao. 

He grabbed Hanbin’s hand and dragged him along. 

Somewhere along the way, he had started running. He ran and ran until his lungs were burning and his thoughts were finally quiet. He was reminded that living in the countryside didn’t only mean loneliness. It also meant freedom.

That’s what probably attracted so many omegas to move back out once they mated.

He stopped running, breathing heavily. Hanbin caught up to him, leaning against him. His hair was tousled from the wind, robes slightly askew. There was a bright smile on his face. He had never looked happier to Hao.

“Feeling better?” Hanbin asked him in between breaths. 

Hao laughed and nodded. “Yes. Much better. Thank you.”

Hanbin smiled, intertwining their hands. 

In a much slower tempo Hanbin pulled him forward. They had reached a field of moonflowers, shimmering white underneath the pale moonlight. He let Hanbin tug him along to a stone, where they sat down. 

For what felt like an eternity, they just sat there, together in silence. Only the sound of their breaths and the music of nature was around them. 

Slowly, Hao let his head fall against Hanbin’s shoulder. 

An overwhelming feeling of fondness overcame Hao. He hadn’t even needed to say anything for Hanbin to know what he needed. It was like Hanbin understood him, truly understood him. 

He glanced at the alpha and his heart clenched. 

“I love you.”

Hao had not planned to say it. It had just fallen from his lips, like a truth that needed to be spoken. 

He heard Hanbin’s breath hitch. 

“Do you remember when you found me that night in the mud, underneath the stars?” Hao asked him, staring up at the sky where thousands of stars were twinkling. 

“I remember,” Hanbin answered quietly. 

“I think I have loved you since then,” Hao said, feeling a little flustered by his own confession. “I was so torn up about everything that day, so I went on a walk. But then you found me and you just…laid down next to me. You gave me a purpose. That’s when I knew that I loved you.”

Hao lifted his head to properly look at Hanbin. Their eyes met and Hanbin’s were glistening, full of awe and silent wonder. 

“You might have fallen for me first, Sung Hanbin, but I love you just as dearly,” Hao told him fiercely. 

“Hao, I- you-” Hanbin gasped, clutching a hand to his chest. “You can’t just say things like that! You’re going to give me a heart attack!”

Hao giggled at the dramatic reaction. Hanbin was adorable. Hao truly loved him so much. 

He surged forward, pressing a peck to Hanbin’s lips. Before he could pull away, Hanbin held him in place, properly connecting their lips in a kiss. 

Hao melted into it. To this day, every kiss from Hanbin made his stomach flutter and his heart leap out of his chest. 

“I love you, too,” Hanbin whispered in between kisses. “If that wasn’t obvious by now.”

Hao smiled into their next kisses. “It was,” he said. “But it’s still nice to hear you say it.”

“Then I will say it a lot,” Hanbin promised with another kiss. 

That sounded wonderful to Hao. 

“Do you believe in soulmates?” Hanbin asked into the night.

Hao thought for a moment. “I don’t believe in fate. I think we make our own choices. Our own legacies,” he said. Then he turned his head to look at Hanbin. “But sometimes, I do think I was meant to find you.”

Hanbin smiled softly. “We are not fate, Hao. Loving you is my choice, one I make every day, and I do so happily,” he told him. 

Hao had never thought about it like that. People liked to account fate to finding their mate - it was a romantic idea, one Hao could see the appeal in. Hanbin’s words were true as well, however. Loving Hanbin was something that happened to him, but it was also something he decided to do every morning he woke up. It was the way they treated each other, the way they trusted and confided in each other. 

It was theirs. Not something fate had decided for them. 

“A soulmate is someone you chose,” Hanbin added. “Someone you trust not only with your heart, but with your soul. Someone so connected to you, you might as well have been one in a past life.”

“That’s a nice thought,” Hao commented, reaching for Hanbin’s hand and holding it. 

“My parents taught me that,” Hanbin hummed. “When I first joined the courting season, they sat me down and told me that courting someone is a commitment. It’s something precious. That’s why it never felt right to me to court anyone before I met you.”

It made sense for Hanbin to think like that. He took people’s feelings seriously. He had never made Hao feel like he wasn’t valuing their relationship. He was chivalrous, and kind, and well-mannered, but it came from a place of respect and not from conservatism. Hanbin had always made him feel safe, but never trapped. 

“They raised you well,” Hao said, squeezing Hanbin’s hand. 

“I think my parents chose each other as soulmates as well,” Hanbin muttered. “That’s how they could raise me so well. They love each other so much, but there was still enough love to give”

Hao let the words sink in for a moment. A thought crossed his mind. Had his parents also chosen each other?

“My mother was always really cautious when it came to me getting courted. I think it was mostly due to the will,” Hao thought out loud. “But I also think she wants to save me from heartbreak. I think it’s because her heart was broken when my father passed.”

“I can’t even imagine what it must be like, losing a soulmate,” Hanbin wondered. He met his eyes. “I don’t think I could recover if I ever were to lose you.”

Hao’s breath hitched at the honest confession. It was a heavy confession, but one Hao felt all the same. His thoughts drifted back to his parents again. 

If his mother had loved his father even a fraction of how much he loved Hanbin…

“I don’t know if she ever did recover.”

Hanbin’s expression turned sad. He pulled Hao into a hug. 

“Sometimes I feel like I’m betraying her, doing all this behind her back,” Hao whispered. “Clearly, she is trying to move on and get over his death. And here I am, forcing everything back to the present.”

“Your mother might have her reasons,” Hanbin agreed. “But you are not betraying her. He was your father, too. It’s your story, too. And you have a right to know it.”

Hao sighed deeply. “I think I’ll have to talk to her soon. She deserves to know.”

Hanbin’s gaze went soft on him. He petted his head and pulled him to lean against his shoulder again. 

“If there is anything I can do to help you through this, please let me know. You don’t have to do this all on your own,” he told him sweetly. 

Hao let his body sink into the embrace. 

“You being here is all I need,” he answered truthfully. 

Hanbin pressed a kiss against his temple. A shower of warmth traveled down Hao’s back. How had he gotten so lucky?

“Then I’ll be here until the very end.”

Notes:

thanks for reading!!

more of a slow chapter again i guess :) some plot and some (new?) romance :) and of course couldn't leave out the haobin :D

what do you think?? let me know :33

stay safe and healthy <3

Chapter 29: Gardenias

Summary:

Gardenia. associated with love, passion, and seduction; a symbol of secret love and desire.

Notes:

hehe this is probably the most haobinful chapter so far...enjoy :33

The first thing that shot through Hao’s head the next morning was how much he would miss this. Hanbin was still pressed against his back, one arm lazily resting over Hao’s waist. Heat radiated from his body and Hao, always prone to freezing, snuggled deeper into the embrace. 

After their spontaneous moonlit walk it had been pretty late once they finally made it to bed. Hao had slept like he was laying on clouds, but now the morning sunlight was tingling his nose and forcing him into wakefulness. 

Hanbin seemed equally as reluctant to get out of bed. Hao could feel how he woke up, how his breathing changed slightly and the hold around him tightened a little. He groaned roughly, burying his face in Hao’s neck. He inhaled deeply and Hao guessed that his rosy scent must engulf him just as warmly as Hanbin’s scent of pinewood did him. 

A soft smile spread on Hao’s lips. This was what he would probably miss the most about their trip. Sleeping and waking up next to Hanbin. It would still take months until they could get permission to mate at the end of the year and be allowed to share a bed together. 

Hanbin pressed a fluttering kiss to his nape, nuzzling him once. Hao sensed himself getting drowned in his scent and already knew that it’d be lingering on him for the rest of the day.

“Good morning,” Hanbin muttered roughly. 

Hao shuffled in the sheets until he faced Hanbin. He gifted him a sleepy smile. 

“Thank you. Again, for last night,” he whispered. The remnants of it still remained glowing in his chest.

Hanbin returned his smile fondly. “You’re a dream.”

Hao wasn’t really sure what Hanbin meant with that, but it made his heart flutter regardless. 

He stretched in the sheets and sat up. Hanbin pouted at him, which made Hao giggle. 

“We should get up. We still have to pack. I bet everyone is already waiting for us,” Hao scolded him playfully. 

Hanbin sighed, but followed him out of bed without further protest. 

 

Hao was right. Everybody else was already up and about. Someone, Hao guessed Matthew, had made breakfast again. A big bowl of fruit salad was standing on the kitchen counter, just waiting to be eaten. 

Taerae and Gunwook were munching on their share as they came down the stairs, talking to each other over slices of pears and peaches. 

“Hao! Hanbin! You’re up!” Taerae noticed them first. “So early?”

He gave Hao a teasing wink. Hao turned his head away sheepishly. Judging by Taerae’s knowing gaze, he must’ve noticed Hanbin and him sneaking out last night.

“Where are Matthew and Jiwoong?” Hanbin asked him, casually filling a bowl for Hao. 

Hao noticed with a fluttering heart how he selected the strawberries for him, knowing that Hao liked them the most. It was such a simple, mundane action, but Hao could feel the love behind it. Perhaps he was still a little love-drunk from last night.

“Jiwoong wanted to check the carriage,” Taerae relayed the information. “And you know Matthew. Of course he offered his help.”

Hao could guess what that meant without any further information.

“They’ve been gone for a while now. Should we check on them? See if anything is wrong?” Gunwook mentioned innocently. 

Taerae laughed fondly, patting Gunwoo’s head. “Don’t worry. I’m sure they are both more than perfectly fine.”

Hao noticed with a little spark of joy that they were sitting closely to each other. They must’ve gotten pretty comfortable with each other during the night, sharing a room. Perhaps he wasn’t the only one who had gotten a taste of love last night. 

Just as Hanbin and him joined them on the couch, Jiwoong and Matthew stumbled in through the backdoor. Jiwoong’s hair wasn’t nearly as neat as it usually was and Matthew’s collar was slightly askew. 

Taerae snorted into his bowl of fruits at their appearance. Gunwook’s eyes widened, apparently now understanding the subtext of Taerae’s earlier words.

“So,” Hanbin cleared his throat, amusement swinging in his voice. “I guess the carriage is fine?”

Jiwoong had at least the decency to look embarrassed, but Matthew was shameless as ever. 

“It’s good as new. You will have no problems with it,” Matthew said, pulling Jiwoong along with him as he strutted through the room.

He pushed Jiwoong onto the couch first before placing himself sideways over his lap. Jiwoong looked a bit perplexed at first, before simply slinging his arms around Matthew’s waist and steadying him. 

Hao couldn’t hide his smile. Not long ago Matthew had denied himself this kind of love. It made him happy to see two of his friends so happy together. They fit well together.

“Have all of you packed yet?” Hao asked them. 

After all, they were leaving for the castle as soon as all of them were ready to leave. For a pleasant change, it wasn’t even raining today, which meant that their travel would not have to be delayed due to weather conditions. 

Gunwook looked confused. “Packed? But I thought-”

“Not yet. I’ll get started after breakfast,” Taerae intercepted him, reaching for Gunwook’s hand and giving him a pointed look. 

It puzzled Hao a little. Next to him Hanbin squirmed in his seat. Something was…odd. 

“Are you done already?” Jiwoong shifted the attention away from the pair, addressing Hao instead. “I could load your luggage into the carriage already.”

Hao slowly shook his head. “No, there are a few things left. I’ll bring it down here once I’m done.”

“Good, I’ll help you load it into the carriage then,” Jiwoong told him.

The guard exchanged a glance with Hanbin, that didn’t go past Hao. 

Had he forgotten about something? Why were his friends acting so…odd?

Before Hao could raise his question, Matthew started chattering about the latest court gossip, leading the conversation to a different place. Hao decided to just shrug it off. If there was a problem, he had no doubt that his friends would tell him. He trusted them blindly, after all. 

 

Hanbin and him returned to their shared bedroom once breakfast had been eaten and cleaned up. 

Hanbin was still acting a bit fidgety around him, but he didn’t say anything. Hao guessed that it had to do with their upcoming travel. Hanbin might be nervous the weather wouldn’t hold. It wouldn’t be without reason, since it had rained every day during their trip so far. 

They silently gathered their belongings. Hao hadn’t brought much, so it didn’t take a long time. Hanbin kept eyeing him from across the room, slowly folding his clothes. 

When they were done with their belongings, Hanbin stood up straight. 

“I’ll bring these down and check on the others,” Hanbin told him, picking up both his own luggage and Hao’s. “I’m sure we can leave soon.”

Hao nodded, grateful for Hanbin’s help. “I’ll come with you and make sure we haven’t left anything behind downstairs.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary. You can just stay up here,” Hanbin shook his head, but his smile was looking a bit strange. 

Hao squinted his eyes at him. Hanbin had never lied to him before, but something about him was just off this morning. 

“Are you feeling well?” He asked him, now a little concerned that Hanbin was getting sick. The temperature had dropped a little and with the constant rain and their walk last night, it wasn’t unreasonable to assume that he had caught an illness. 

“No! I mean, yes, I’m perfect. Perfectly normal,” Hanbin grinned, acting the exact opposite of perfectly normal. “I’ll be right back! Just wait here for a moment!”

 

He was out the door in seconds, not leaving Hao the opportunity to question his odd behavior further. Hao was about to get up and follow him to find out what was up, when someone else slipped into the room. 

“Hao,” Taerae looked inside the room. “Can I come in?”

Hao’s mind was still with Hanbin. “Did you notice something strange with Hanbin just now?”

Taerae chuckled softly, closing the door behind him. 

“He’s going to be alright, don’t worry,” Taerae assured him. 

Somehow, that only made Hao’s suspicions rise up. So something was up with Hanbin?

“Actually, can I talk to you about something?” Taerae asked him, distracting Hao momentarily. 

The change in his expression immediately alarmed Hao. Where Taerae had been smirking previously, he was not looking a bit coy. 

“Do you not have to pack?” Hao asked him, still a bit confused about this morning. 

“I…I wanted to talk to you first,” Taerae replied. 

Hao gazed at him, letting his eyes roam up and down. There was an air of vulnerability surrounding his friend that Hao hadn’t witnessed often before. This seemed serious. Immediately, Hao focused on him. 

“Of course, you can always talk to me about everything,” Hao said, patting down the empty space next to him on the bed. 

Taerae made his path across the room after closing the door, sitting down with an uncharacteristically shy smile. “Thank you.”

“What is on your mind? Can I help you with something?” Hao asked him warmly. 

Taerae shuffled a little in the spot. He closed his eyes, as if bracing himself. Then he took a deep breath.

“I’m not sure. It’s not really a…a problem. At least, I hope it’s not. I don’t want it to be,” Taerae bit down on his lip. 

It was rare to see Taerae ramble so much. His friend was usually precise and clear with his words, the best at giving sound advice. 

“I’ve just…I’ve come to you because I think hearing your opinion would help. I value your opinion a lot. Not only because you’re smart, which means you're usually right about things, but because you are one of my closest friends and you have a good heart.”

Taerae’s words warmed Hao’s core. The feeling was mutual. Hao also valued Taerae’s opinion a lot, not only because he was reasonable, but because Taerae was the first person in a long time who he had called his friend. Knowing his trust was returned meant a lot to him.

“Also, I think Matthew would tease me too much,” Taerae added, the usual mirth back in his eyes. 

Hao giggled, understanding his friend all too well. “Why don’t you tell me what your concern is first?”

Taerae nodded. He inhaled deeply. “After you met Hanbin, how long did it take you to know you were in love with him?”

Hao was taken aback by that question. His cheeks warmed up a little, flustered by the topic. He truly hadn’t expected Taerae to bring that up. Still, for Taerae he would do his best to answer.

“I…erm…a little while. At first, I didn’t allow myself to even see him as an option. I didn’t think anyone would want me and Hanbin was just…too good. I didn’t want to get my hopes up,” Hao recounted the early stages of the courting season. They have come a long way since then. “When he offered to court me, I couldn’t believe it. In hindsight, I was probably already a little in love with him by then.”

Taerae smirked teasingly. “Yes, I remember your mental crisis.”

“It wasn’t a crisis!” Hao argued with a pout. Back then…he had just been in disbelief. It was hard to trust when you’ve been isolated for so long…but Hanbin had always made it feel so safe. So easy to fall.

“Sure,” Taerae playfully rolled his eyes. Then he was back to being thoughtful. “So…when you first met him…you didn’t already feel it?”

“I-” Hao stopped. 

He had known Hanbin as a child, but love hadn’t been on his mind back then. And when he returned to the castle, he had met Hanbin under…unfortunate circumstances. It had been hard to feel anything but embarrassed upon seeing him again as an adult. Yet, as he tried to remember, he hadn’t ever felt like Hanbin would be someone dangerous to him. 

“I guess I’ve always felt safe with him,” he finally answered. 

That probably described his early feelings for Hanbin the best. Safety. 

“Safe,” Taerae hummed thoughtfully. 

Hao gave him a curious look. “Why do you want to know?”

He was sure there was more to it than Taerae suddenly wanting the freshest gossip about Hanbin’s and his relationship. That was something he could see Matthew doing. But Taerae must have another reason. 

“It’s…” Taerae looked away. Then he seemed to gather his courage and met his gaze. “Gunwook.”

“Gunwook?” Hao repeated, trying to hide his smile. 

Taerae sighed. “I know it’s ridiculous. I’ve known him for little more than a day, but when he looks at me…there is this feeling inside my chest. I’ve never felt like that before after meeting someone.”

Hao’s heart did a flip. 

“So you think you might like him?” Hao concluded, trying hard to conceal his giddiness. 

“It’s certainly…a positive feeling I have towards him,” Taerae confirmed cautiously. He looked worried. “Don’t you think it’s too soon?”

“Too soon for what? To have positive feelings ?” Hao asked right back. 

“It’s just…I’m not like this. I guard my heart especially because of this,” Taerae argued. “I don’t care that he’s a servant but…And we’re both omegas. ”

The implication was clear. Other people, beside the obvious reason of Gunwook being an omega, would take issue about a noble omega like Taerae showing interest in a mere servant from the countryside. Omegas were supposed to match social standings above them, or at least on a similar realm. 

“We can’t control our feelings,” Hao remembered him. “I don’t think you should want to control your feelings.”

Taerae gave him a look of disbelief. “Do you know what you are saying?”

“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy,” Hao amended him. He wished he could promise Taerae that everything would work out without any complications, but they both knew that wasn’t realistic. “But you said you’ve never felt this way before. Don’t you think that’s worth exploring this?”

Taerae gnawed on his lip. “But what if I get hurt?”

“Then you get hurt,” Hao shrugged, as simple as that. 

Taerae snorted. “Great.”

Hao gave him a long look. “But aren’t you hurting already?”

Taerae’s head snapped around. “What do you mean?”

“I see you, Taerae. I see how you hurt inside, denying yourself the possibility of love. You said it’s a guard, but isn’t it really a prison?”

Taerae huffed. “You truly are too smart.”

“You’ve asked for my opinion,” Hao smiled at him. “I think it’s time you let your guard down a little. It doesn’t have to work out perfectly, but it’s worth a shot. There might be heartache but Taerae…there might also be love . And it’s not too soon if that’s what you’re feeling. Your heart deserves a little romance.”

“Romance.” Taerae said the word as if he didn’t know what it would entail. 

“From what I can see, Gunwook is already quite smitten with you as well,” Hao nudged him teasingly in his side. 

Taerae groaned and buried his face in his hands. “He’s just…different.”

“He is a good person. Even if it turns out that he cannot return your feelings, he will not judge you for yours,” Hao encouraged him. 

“We talked the entire night. I’ve never talked with someone that much. All the alphas at the balls were always so dull and boring, barely able to string together two coherent thoughts. But Gunwook-”

“-is very bright,” Hao finished for him with a laugh. He knew of Gunwook’s intellect. His bright mind and curiosity was what had made Hao like him right away as well. 

“I feel like we could talk forever and it would never get boring,” Taerae confessed. 

“That does sound like you have positive feelings for him,” Hao chuckled. It was sweet that Taerae was the one speaking of his affections for someone for a change. 

After all, he had advised him on his relationship with Hanbin more than once. Hao was more than glad to return the favor. 

Taerae laughed with him. It seemed like for a moment, he was able to let go of his real concerns and worries and fears, and simply let himself experience this feeling of infatuation. It was a lovely sight. 

Hao reached for his hands. “You know, no matter what you decide. If you pursue Gunwook, or not. If people start talking or something else happens. You will always have my support. And I will fight for you. Whether that’s with The Rose Project or without it. You are worthy of being loved and loving.”

Taerae’s gaze turned soft as he squeezed his hand. 

“I wish everyone would think like that,” he sighed. 

“Love is love. It’s never something you should feel ashamed of. You should be proud of it. You shouldn’t hide it. It’s the most selfless thing someone can do. Loving another person,” Hao spoke his mind. 

Taerae smiled. “You should write that down.”

Hao had simply said what he had been thinking. It wasn’t worthy of being published, just a stray thought. But the idea remained. Sooner or later, Hao would write something about it. Something bold and full of belief. Having this conversation with Taerae only gave him more courage that this was something that needed to be spoken up about as well. 

 

 

His conversation with Taerae was ended by Hanbin returning to their room. His eyes switched between Hao and Taerae, seemingly sensing that he had interrupted a vulnerable moment. 

Taerae took mercy on him. He stood up, pulling away from Hao. 

“Thank you for the talk. I’ll get going then,” he said gratefully. 

“Are you sure?” Hao asked him. If there was more that Taerae needed to get off his chest, he would tell Hanbin and everyone else to delay their departure.

“Yes. My heart feels much lighter now,” Taerae assured him. 

Hao believed him. “You can find me anytime if you have something on your mind,” he told him anyway. 

“I will,” Taerae nodded earnestly. 

Then he glanced at Hanbin and smirked. 

“But I’m sure you’ll have plenty of other things on your mind today,” he commented. 

Then he hushed out of the room. 

Hao blinked, puzzled. 

He gave Hanbin a curious look. “What did he mean?”

“Ahh, I’m sure it’s nothing,” Hanbin said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. 

The odd feeling returned. There definitely was something Hanbin wasn’t telling him. 

“Are you ready to leave now?” Hanbin asked him.

“I-” Hao wasn’t sure how to ask. For now, he gave up. If it was something serious, he was sure Hanbin would let him know eventually. He didn’t want to pressure him if he wasn’t ready to talk. “Yes. Let’s go.”

Hanbin smiled nervously. He held out his hand, waiting for Hao to take it before leading him down the stairs. 

 

 

Downstairs, everyone was still lingering around the couch. It stunned Hao. Why had nobody else packed yet? They had agreed to leave in the morning! 

“Why aren’t any of you ready yet?” He asked, startled by their behavior. 

Matthew gave him a lazy grin as he stood up. “We’re staying another night.”

“What? But I thought-?”

“Just keep walking,” Matthew interrupted him, gently pushing him out the door. 

Hao turned to Hanbin, seeking help, but the alpha only kept smiling. 

What was going on?

Outside, Jiwoong had readied the carriage, their horse already tied to pull it for them. However, when he spotted the three of them, he jumped out of the driver’s seat. 

“It’s all good for you to leave,” Jiwoong told them, handing the reins over to Hanbin, who had climbed up front. 

“Thank you,” Hanbin replied, making room next to him. 

He looked at Hao expectantly. 

“Care to join me?”

Hao didn’t understand, completely befuddled by the entire situation. 

“I…what-?”

Again, Matthew pushed him forward and with Hanbin’s help, he was up on the coach box before he could really comprehend it.

“Have fun!” Matthew called after them as Hanbin set the carriage into motion. 

Hao could see them wave and hear their laughter as they turned onto the field road. 

 

He shook his head, trying to keep up with reality. It didn’t work. This was definitely not what they had planned! 

“Hanbin,” he said, turning to the alpha next to him who was suspiciously quiet. 

“Yes?” Hanbin smirked, eyes leaving the road to glance at him. 

Hao huffed out a laugh of disbelief. “Can you please tell me what’s going on? Why are we leaving on our own?”

Hanbin chuckled softly. “It’s a surprise for you.”

“What? A surprise?” Hao let out a breath. “Why? Aren’t we expected at the castle?”

“It’s a courting gift. To make up for the flowers I didn’t  get you the past three days,” Hanbin shrugged simply. “And don’t worry. Nobody will question why it took us a day longer considering the weather.”

“B-but I-,” Hao wanted to protest. He felt a little out of his depth here. To his defense, he had just been sort of kidnapped. “You don’t need to keep giving me courting gifts. I already know about your commitment to me.”

Hanbin gave him a stern look. “I want to give them to you. It’s not only about commitment. It’s what I want to do for you. What you deserve.”

Hao’s heart skipped a beat at the sudden confession. It still felt a little overwhelming to be on the receiving end of Hanbin’s devotion. 

“Fine,” he gave in, leaning into Hanbin’s side. “Will you at least tell me where we are going? The flower fields?”

“You, Zhang Hao, are too curious,” Hanbin scolded him playfully. 

Hao pouted, making Hanbin giggle. 

“But it’s what I love about you,” Hanbin admitted, utterly carefree. 

It made Hao blush. Curiosity was both a blessing and a curse. He couldn’t imagine many people appreciating it as a trait. But Hanbin did. He seemed to like every tiny little thing about Hao.

Hao cleared his throat, flustered. “So?” He asked again. “Where are you taking me?”

Hanbin laughed. “I already told you it’s a surprise!”

That only made Hao pout again. He crossed his arms and observed their surroundings. But it was senseless. He didn’t know this area. He couldn’t even guess where Hanbin was currently driving them. 

Hanbin noticed his pouting. “Don’t worry, you’ll see soon.”

Hao simply sighed and submitted to his fate. He couldn’t just jump out of a driving carriage anyway. Plus, he was also feeling a bit excited, going to an unknown destination alone with Hanbin. It felt like an adventure.

“Since when do you even know how to maneuver a carriage?” Hao wondered out loud. At least as far as Hao knew, Jiwoong had been the one holding the reins on their journey so far. 

“Jiwoong taught me,” Hanbin replied easily. “Besides, this is our best horse. She could probably find the way without anyone guiding her.”

“So you’ve been there before,” Hao pointed out, still trying to figure out where they were headed.

The corners of Hanbin lips twitched, clearly knowing what Hao was doing. “I will not tell you until we arrive.”

Hao whined, but wasn’t seriously upset. He knew, if he seriously wanted to know, Hanbin would tell him. However, it was sort of adventurous, not knowing where they were headed. 

Instead of pestering Hanbin with more questions, he busied himself watching their surroundings. He pointed out the beautiful scenery to Hanbin, the squirrels and birds that he spotted in the trees. 

Hao didn’t recognize anything on their way, and soon the familiar sight of the flower fields vanished as well. Instead they were encircled by big trees. A few of the leaves had started to turn colorful, but most of them were still green, holding on to the passing summer. 

A small river purled to their right. The birds chirped and the leaves rustled beneath the wheels of the carriage. A fresh wind blew around their noses. Hao inhaled deeply. Their air was so fresh out here. It smelled like youth.

 

 

Eventually, Hanbin slowed down the carriage. Hao immediately noticed the change in pace and perked up, trying to spot what they were here for. In between the trees he could make out a small cottage, hidden by trees and ivy. 

Hanbin stopped the carriage on a small patch of grass. He jumped off first, freeing the horse from its constraints and letting her roam free for now. Then he returned, offering Hao a hand to help him climb down as well. 

Hao still wasn’t sure what they were doing here. Was somebody living in the cottage? A Sung family member Hanbin wanted him to meet? He was suddenly feeling very nervous. 

He let Hanbin help him down, clutching onto his arm as they walked up the small path to the door. 

Just when Hao was about to ask who they were visiting, Hanbin got out a set of keys. He rustled them playfully, before selecting one to put into the lock. 

 

Hao was holding his breath as Hanbin pushed the door open. 

 

It was silent inside, indicating that they were currently the only ones here. So not a visit then?

He gave Hanbin a curious look, who simply smiled and pulled him along inside. He closed the door behind him as Hao stepped in further. 

With curious eyes he took in the interior. The hallway was narrow, walls painted a bright shade of white. He turned around to Hanbin, who simply nodded at him to go ahead. 

So Hao did. 

Carefully he tread on, entering the living room. A comfortable looking seating area occupied the space, various colorful pillows brightening up the room. There were shelves pressed onto every wall. However, many of them weren’t nearly full, much empty space left to be filled with books and scriptures.

Hao couldn’t hold back his curiosity any more. He spun around to face Hanbin, who was watching him with a careful expression. 

“What is this place?” Hao asked him

Hanbin gave him a coy smile. “It’s yours.”

Hao blinked, surely not having heard right. “What?”

Hanbin closed the distance between them. He reached for Hao’s hand, holding it reverently. “It’s my courting gift to you. If you want it.”

Hao gasped. 

“What do you mean it’s mine?” He asked. 

“It’s yours,” Hanbin repeated. “A gift.”

“You’re gifting me a cottage?” Hao repeated breathlessly. 

“Yes,” Hanbin nodded, as if any of this was normal. 

It was not normal. It was utterly ridiculous. It was utterly Hanbin. 

“You gifted me a cottage,” Hao breathed in disbelief. 

Hanbin looked a bit unsure now. “Do you like it?”

Hao almost laughed, it was so ridiculous. 

“You gifted me a cottage!” He repeated. 

Hanbin nodded slowly. “I…did.”

Hao shook his head, before dropping forward and hiding his face in Hanbin’s neck. 

“I cannot believe you,” Hao mumbled.

“If...if it’s too much-”

“It’s too much! It’s way too much!” Hao laughed, before slinging his hands around Hanbin’s neck. “Thank you.”

Careful arms came to rest around his waist, holding him gently. Hanbin was beaming at him as if Hao was the sun itself.

Hao still couldn’t believe this was real. Hanbin had promised him anything. He had delivered on his promise. 

“It still needs a lot of work, but I want you to be comfortable here,” Hanbin told him softly. “I know, you need to live at the castle at the moment, but if you ever need space, this will always be yours.”

It was so considerate. It wasn’t like Hao and his mother didn’t own a cottage already. Even Hanbin’s parents owned one that they readily allowed them to use! But those places didn’t really belong to him. His old home still felt like it was owned by his father and it was haunted by old memories. And as much as he liked Hanbin’s parents, he would always feel like he was intruding there. 

But this place…it was theirs. They could come and be alone whenever they wanted to. 

“You have no reason,” Hao shook his head.

Hanbin grinned. “Luckily, you have enough for both of us.”

Hao laughed, slowly pulling himself out of Hanbin’s embrace. He continued looking around the cottage. Now that he knew it was theirs, he saw it differently. All the empty spaces were just waiting to be filled. 

He walked along the shelves, noticing with delight that Hanbin had already brought copies of all his favorite books here. 

“When did you even find this place?” Hao asked him, astounded. Between his new work and courting Hao, he must’ve not had a lot of time to look at cottages. But this place seemed too perfect, like it had just been waiting for them.

“I had it built,” Hanbin told him. 

Hao snapped his head around. “You had it built? When?”

Hanbin looked a bit sheepish now. “When you agreed to let me court you.”

Hao couldn’t believe it. Hanbin had been planning this for so long. It had truly always been Hao for him. 

“You built us a cottage,” he said, once again realizing how absolutely ridiculous this was.

“I built you a cottage,” Hanbin corrected him. “It’s yours and yours only.”

 “I-”

“I know, the laws aren’t allowing it yet. But it’s yours. I will make sure of it. It’s yours in every way. Legally. Illegally,” Hanbin continued. “It’s yours.”

Hao had never physically owned anything as valuable as this property. His mother managed all their finances and while he had never been short of anything, receiving something that was solely his… It felt different. 

His heart felt tender as he looked at Hanbin. “It can be ours, too. I want you here. I want it to be ours.”

Hanbin shook his head. “If I put my name on it, you know it will only be seen as mine. No matter if your name is on it, too.”

Hao sighed. He knew it was the truth. If an alpha claimed this property, it would only ever be an alpha’s property. He appreciated that Hanbin had thought so much about this. 

Although he had no doubts that if Hanbin put his name on the property next to Hao’s, it would truly be theirs and he would never take it away from Hao. It was a symbolic gesture. 

Letting an omega own land. Perhaps, Hao would be the first omega who would officially own land. 

“You are…unbelievable,” Hao said. 

It only made Hanbin smile. 

“Come on, I’ll show you the remaining rooms,” he invited him to explore further. 

Hao nodded eagerly. He couldn’t wait to see his cottage.

 

There was a small kitchen downstairs, a storage room, a bathroom and a room that was left empty so far. 

Upstairs was another bathroom and two more empty rooms. 

“What were you planning to put in here?” Hao asked with a laugh as he spread his arms and spun around in the empty space. 

Hanbin watched him fondly. “I wasn’t sure what you would like, so I left them empty for now.”

Hao stopped spinning to look at him. “You must’ve had some ideas?”

A sheepish smile crept on Hanbin’s lips. “Well, you do need a study for all the rebellions you’re going to lead.”

Hao laughed at the overstatement. He was currently only participating in one rebellion and he hoped after that one, there would be no further ones needed. 

“It’s a bit large for a study, don’t you think?” Hao pointed out. After all, his father’s study at the castle would comfortably fit inside this room twice.

This time, Hanbin blushed a faint pink. A rare sight. It made Hao curious. 

“Well, there is always the possibility…”

“The possibility of what?” Hao pried when Hanbin didn’t continue. 

Hanbin avoided eye contact. “You know…”

Hanbin’s sudden shyness made Hao giggle. “What?”

“Children.”

Hanbin had nearly swallowed the word, but Hao had still heard it. 

His heart beat fast all of a sudden. They had never brought up the subject before. They weren’t even mated yet! It was way too soon! However, the fact that Hanbin had thought about it made Hao all tingly inside. 

Hanbin was envisioning a whole future with him. A family with him. It was a future Hao wanted to share. 

“Or, you know, I guess we could put something else in here,” Hanbin kept rambling, clearly interpreting Hao’s silence wrong. 

Hao smiled softly. He walked over to Hanbin, taking his face in his hands. Finally, the alpha looked at him again. 

“I think children sound lovely.”

He saw Hanbin’s breath hitch. His cheeks were still faintly pink, but Hao had no doubt his own complexion had turned a matching shade. 

“Yes?” Hanbin breathed unsurely. 

Hao nodded. “Yes. Someday, right?”

“Someday,” Hanbin confirmed with a warm smile. 

Even though they seemed to be on the same page, the entire subject still made Hao incredibly flustered. Quickly, he pulled Hanbin out of the room with him and into the last one they hadn’t been to yet. 

 

Unsurprisingly, it was the bedroom. A large canopy bed was standing in the middle, light blue sheets making it look very soft and welcoming. 

Hao dived right in, the pillows and blankets engulfing him like clouds. Hanbin chuckled at his behavior. Hao simply squinted his eyes at him, before reaching for a pillow and aiming it at him. 

Hanbin’s expression turned surprised as he ducked out of the way at the last second. 

“Oh, I see,” he grinned, picking the pillow up from the floor. 

Hao squealed when he saw Hanbin approach with it. Quickly he picked up another pillow to defend himself from the upcoming attack. 

Hanbin jumped onto the bed just as gracefully as he had, throwing his body on top of Hao’s. Then he started rolling Hao up in the pile of blankets until he couldn’t move anymore. 

Hao was laughing so much, he could barely catch a breath. He struggled himself free, throwing another pillow at Hanbin’s head, which hit him  in the chest this time. 

Hanbin growled playfully, pinning him back down. 

Suddenly, the playful tension turned into something deeper, darker. 

 

Hao’s pupils widened as he took in Hanbin on top of him. They were both breathing heavily. The scent of roses and pinewood mingled in the air, getting stronger by the second. 

“Hao-”

“Kiss me, please,” Hao pleaded. He couldn’t wait any longer. He wanted. 

Hanbin didn’t need more encouragement. He surged down, connecting their lips in a fiery kiss. 

Hao felt his insides set on fire, burning pleasantly as melted into Hanbin’s embrace. He opened his mouth slightly, trying to catch Hanbin’s tongue. Instead, Hanbin caught his bottom lip with his teeth, nibbling gently before pulling away. 

“Hao,” Hanbin panted. His face was rosy again, hair disheveled. 

There was that dark look in his eyes. He wanted Hao. 

“Hao, do you remember what we talked about? Do you still want me?” Hanbin asked him breathlessly. 

There had never been an easier question to Hao. 

“Yes. I do. I want you. Now,” Hao nodded eagerly, not caring how desperate he sounded. By the look in Hanbin’s eyes he was just as desperate.

“Hao, I-” Hanbin started, only to be interrupted by Hao’s lips. 

They kissed again, getting lost in each other. This time, Hanbin took the initiative and licked into Hao’s mouth without being coaxed to. It made a shiver run down Hao’s spine. 

His legs fell open and Hanbin crawled between them. When he lowered himself, pressing their bodies together, the sensation was so heavenly that Hao whined in pleasure. 

Hanbin pulled away briefly, hot breath falling against Hao’s cheek.

“I had this whole plan for tonight. I had candles and flower petals. I planted Gardenias in the backyard just for this,” Hanbin mumbled as he pressed down kisses along Hao’s jaw. 

Hao threw his head back, allowing Hanbin full access to his skin. He reached for Hanbin’s shirt, fiddling with the buttons. 

“I wanted it to be special for you,” Hanbin muttered lowly, taking mercy on Hao and helping him get rid of his shirt. 

His entire body trembled at the sight of Hanbin’s naked skin. He had never seen it before. Hanbin was so beautiful. Like he was a Gardenia himself.

“May I?” Hanbin asked, tracing the hem of Hao’s shirt now. 

“Yes,” Hao said, letting Hanbin remove his clothes for him. 

For a moment, Hanbin didn’t move, simply looking at him. Before Hao could get self-conscious, Hanbin started tracing over his skin like he was caressing a work of art.

“You’re so pretty,” Hanbin whispered like he was worshiping. “I really wanted this to be perfect for you.”

Hao’s heart fluttered. No matter how vulnerable he was making himself, he would always feel safe with Hanbin.

“This is perfect,” Hao assured him, pulling Hanbin back down to kiss him again. “Everything with you is perfect.”

Hanbin growled against his lips, pressing their bodies together again. 

“Hao, I don’t think I can hold back any longer,” Hanbin heaved, the scent of pinewood so thick around him Hao felt like he was drowning in it. 

Hao swallowed. “Then don’t.”

Their eyes interlocked. They looked at each other for an eternity, both realizing what was about to happen. Hao had never felt more seen than in this moment. 

He gave Hanbin a small smile, who returned it with full brightness. He leaned down, connecting their lips in another kiss. This one was just as passionate, but there was something exhilarating about it too, something nervous, something new. 

Hao closed his eyes and let himself fall.

He had dreamed of this moment. 

Finally, he was wanted.

Notes:

thanks for reading!! :3

im really bad at writing spicy stuff but i always set myself up for it huhu so im feeling a bit shy - but i hope it wasn't too bad krkrkrkkr

anyway, hope you are having a great day!! stay safe and happy always :3

Chapter 30: Anemone

Summary:

anemone. associated with strength and protection, a compelling contrast to their fragile appearance; reminder that strength lies not only in physical resilience but also in emotional fortitude

Notes:

hiii and welcome back!! things are happening aaaa enjoy!!

Hao’s body felt sore in the best way possible when he woke up. Next to him, Hanbin was still sleeping soundly. His chest was rising and falling in a steady rhythm. Hao thought he could listen to Hanbin breathe for hours. Then he thought he was crazy for thinking that. 

He fell further back into the cold sheets. Whenever he closed his eyes, he could still feel Hanbin’s touches on him, his hot skin pressed against his in a moment of total conflation. It made Hao want to giggle with happiness but he held himself back, not wanting to wake Hanbin.

They have had each other many times last night. If Hao wasn’t so sensitive to sunlight, he  would probably also still be sleeping. 

The air in the room was thick. The scents of pinewood and roses had merged into one, just like they had. Hao never wanted to smell anything else again. It was a perfect scent. Hao wondered if their children would smell like this. Again, he thought he was thinking crazy things. 

He truly was love-drunk. 

Hanbin stirred next to him. Hao tried to stay still, but his efforts were in vain as Hanbin’s nice brown eyes opened to look at him. 

“Hey,” he mumbled roughly, a lazy smile stretching on his lips. 

Hao’s heart fluttered. Even after yesterday, such a simple thing as Hanbin’s smile could make his heart skip a beat. 

“Good morning,” Hao replied, letting Hanbin pull him closer by his waist.

For a moment, Hanbin just looked at him. Under different circumstances, Hao would’ve felt bashful, being perceived so attentively while he was being so raw. Right now, however, he reveled under Hanbin’s gaze. Hanbin had seen all of him, had wanted all of him. Hao had never felt so- so everything before! 

“How are you feeling?” Hanbin asked him quietly. 

His thumb was brushing over Hao’s naked shoulder. Hao had slipped on Hanbin’s shirt last night to shield himself from the cold, but it was a little loose on him, falling off his shoulder easily. 

Hao gave Hanbin a small smile.There was a whirl of emotion raging like a storm inside of him. But truly, there was only one word that could come close to describing what he was feeling.

“Loved.”

Hanbin’s eyes widened. Then he beamed at him. A tender kiss was pressed to his forehead. 

“You are. So much,” Hanbin whispered.

Hao’s smile got so big, it almost hurt his mouth. Could a person be in pain because they were being too happy?

“You are, too,” Hao replied honestly. 

He surged up, stealing a kiss from Hanbin. The alpha looked surprised for a moment, before chuckling fondly. Hao laughed and sunk back into the pillows. 

“I wish we could stay here forever,” Hao sighed. 

Even the thought of getting up made his body recoil. He was right where he should be. It felt cruel to leave. 

Hanbin grinned. “Me, too,” he agreed cheekily. “But I fear you have important things waiting for you. A rebellion doesn’t happen without the guidance of its leader.”

Hao pouted, but he knew Hanbin was right. There was a lot of work laying ahead of him. This trip had been both: a way to advance them as well as an opportunity to get away from the castle and its scheming nature for once. However, it was time to make use of the knowledge they had gained from coming all this way. 

If only the bed wasn’t so temptingly comfortable!

 

Hanbin laughed as he watched Hao bury himself in the sheets, as if trying to physically entangle himself so much that he couldn’t be removed. 

It was adorable. Hanbin felt honored getting to see this unblemished, sweet, yes, vulnerable side of Hao. When Hao was out in the world, he always tried to portray an honorable picture of himself. And Hao was undeniably honorable. But he was also sweet, so incredibly sweet. It was definitely one of his favorite sides of Hao. Who was he kidding? He loved all sides of Hao. 

He loved his smart mind and the way his eyes would light up with wit when a new clever idea crossed his thoughts. He loved the fire in him, that would burn bright whenever he talked about the change he wanted to initiate. He loved the cheeky glint in his eyes when he bantered with Hanbin like he had nothing to be afraid of. He loved how Hao got shy when Hanbin complimented him too much. He loved when Hao was so beautiful he stole everyone’s breath in a room. He loved when Hao was so kind to the world and the people in it that it made his heart hurt with fondness. And he loved when Hao was sweet and pouted and whined because he wished to stay in bed with him forever. 

A wish that Hanbin shared very much. However, as much as Hanbin wanted to grant it, he knew the world needed Hao. He wasn’t selfish enough to keep him to himself, at least not entirely. 

Last night, Hanbin had gotten to love a new side of Hao yet again. This one, he decided, would be one he wouldn’t share with anyone else.

Hanbin’s lips and throat suddenly got very dry. His gaze was trailing after Hao, who despite all the whining and pouting had wrangled himself out of bed. The sheets had fallen to his feet, leaving him in only Hanbin’s white shirt. 

It was barely covering enough. Hanbin bit down on his lip, eyes glued to Hao’s frame. 

This sensual side of Hao…he would probably need some time to get used to it. Just the sight of Hao’s bare legs made something inside of him stir again. But he held himself back. 

They didn’t have time. No matter how much Hanbin wanted. And he wanted very much.

 

Hao stretched and yawned, turning around to Hanbin who quickly averted his gaze, pretending to tidy the sheets. 

“We need to pick up some flowers for my mother on our way back. I promised her Sweat Peas,” Hao told him. 

The thought of Lady Zhang helped a lot in taming Hanbin’s upsurging desires. He swallowed heavily and jumped out of bed. 

“Right. That shouldn’t be a problem. Gunwook can probably show us where they grow,” Hanbin nodded. 

Just to be safe, he turned his back to Hao. He knelt down over his luggage to search for fresh clothes to wear.

“Can I bathe first?” Hao asked him, assumingly having found his own clothes already. 

“Of course,” Hanbin coughed, trying desperately not to imagine Hao in a bath. “I’ll wait.”

Hanbin was still crouching down, rummaging through his luggage, so he didn’t see Hao approach from behind. Only when a short kiss was pressed to his cheek did he realize that Hao had closed the distance between them.

“Thank you,” Hao breathed. 

Hanbin’s head shot around, just in time to catch Hao’s sweet smile. 

Then he disappeared through the door, leaving Hanbin behind with a wildly beating heart. 

 

The weather was kind to them again as they climbed back into the carriage. It was chilly outside, but the autumn sun was shining brightly, warming up the world around them. Hao still used the cold wind as an excuse to cuddle up closely next to Hanbin. Luckily, Hanbin didn’t seem to mind one bit.

Due to the dry roads, it didn’t take them long to reach the Sung family cottage. 

This time around, everyone actually had their bags packed. As they pulled into the road, Hao could make out all the luggage waiting to be loaded from a distance, being guarded by Taerae and Gunwook.

Next to the luggage, Gunwook already had his own horse saddled. Taerae and Gunwook were standing close to each other when Hanbin guided the carriage into the pathway to the cottage. They were petting the horse’s neck and innocently touching over its fur as if their hands had brushed by sheer coincidence.

The sight made Hao want to sing. He was riding on a high of happiness this entire trip it seemed. It was only fair that he shared that happiness with all his friends. 

 

When they noticed them, Taerae and Gunwook jumped apart, as if having been caught doing something forbidden. 

“Hao! Hanbin! You’re back!” Taerae greeted them, cheeks tinted a light pink. 

Hanbin brought the carriage to a halt and Hao jumped down first to greet his friend.

“Yes, the roads were empty and dry. It was a quick journey,” Hao told him, overflown with giddiness. “It’s so good to see you again!” He reached for Taerae’s hands and began spinning them around in a circle. Taerae gasped in surprise but quickly recovered and played along.

“That’s good! We still have a long way to go today, but it’s nice to see you in good spirits!" Taerae laughed, slowly bringing their spin to a stop before they could get too dizzy. 

They were both a bit breathless, but Hao didn’t mind. He was just too happy!

Taerae cleared his throat. “Matthew’s been packing lunch all morning, so I think we should be good to go in a minute.”

“I’ll go get him and Jiwoong,” Hanbin said, who had turned the carriage around for departure, but there was no need. 

Just as he had said it, the two of them came walking down the front door. Matthew was carrying two baskets full of food in each arm, while Jiwoong was dragging the rest of their luggage behind them. 

“We heard you arrive,” the guard explained. “Thought we’d start loading the carriage already. Do you need some time to rest before we depart?”

Hao left the answer to Hanbin. After all, it was him who had steered the carriage the entire way back. 

“I’m good. The sooner we leave, the sooner we arrive,” Hanbin shrugged. 

“Me too,” Hao nodded in agreement when Jiwoong’s questioning gaze shifted to him.

“Great! Let’s get going then!” Matthew decided, putting the baskets inside the carriage. 

Gunwook mounted his horse confidently. 

“I can ride ahead. I know the way like the back of my hand,” he told them, showcasing his usual gummy smile. 

 

Only a few minutes later, everyone was ready to leave. Hanbin had checked on the cottage one last time, making sure everything was in order, before locking the door. Gunwook was riding small circles on the road as Jiwoong climbed onto the coachbox to maneuver the carriage to follow him. 

“Inside, now!” Matthew pushed Hao from behind, almost making him fall as he climbed into the carriage. 

A bit confused, Hao complied and took the window seat. He thought Matthew would join Jiwoong in the front again. 

“You’re sitting with us?” Hao asked as Matthew sat down opposite of him. 

Behind him, Taerae climbed inside and closed the door, leaving the spot next to Jiwoong on the coachbox outside to Hanbin. 

Matthew didn’t answer him. Instead, he was grinning wildly, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“So?” He started, looking at Hao expectantly. 

Hao tilted his head, slightly bewildered. He shot Taerae a helpseeking glance, but his friend was making a similar expression, a smug smile gracing his features.

“What?” Hao asked, not understanding. 

“You’re glowing,” Taerae commented. 

“I- thank you?” Hao replied, not sure what Taerae meant. 

“Looks like you enjoyed your surprise ,” he added, a knowing glint sparkling in his eyes. 

Finally getting the hint, Hao blushed crimson red. Was it that obvious?

Matthew yelped in joy. “I knew it! So you did have each other!”

Hao bashfully stared at his feet. He had sought advice about this from his friends before. It shouldn’t be a surprise that they had guessed what had occurred at the cottage so easily. After all, Hanbin and him had been alone for an entire night. 

“He gifted me a cottage,” Hao mumbled. “He said it was mine.”

“And then he made you his!” Matthew giggled, only making Hao blush deeper. 

Taerae laughed, but hit Matthew scoldingly. “Enough with the teasing.”

“But I want to know!” Matthew moaned. “Was it good?”

Taerae huffed, elbowing Matthew again. 

He looked at Hao. “You don’t have to answer that.”

A bit embarrassed, but mostly still happy, Hao smiled softly. 

“It was perfect,” he muttered, the smile forcing itself on his lips. 

Matthew squealed with excitement. Taerae’s reaction was far more tame, but he looked just as happy for him. 

“I’m glad,” Taerae said fondly. He looked at him quietly. “You seem different.”

Hao perked up in curiosity. “Different?”

“More confident,” Taerae elaborated. He smiled. “It suits you.”

Hao thought about it for a moment. Taerae was right. 

It had just been an experience, being with Hanbin. It hadn’t changed him as a person. But he felt different. Being wanted like that, loved like that…Yes, perhaps confidence was the right word for it.

“It’s the glow! I’m telling you!” Matthew insisted, making all of them laugh again. 

Hao leaned back in his seat with a fond feeling in his chest. He knew he would treasure this memory for many years to come. 

 

Thanks to Gunwook’s guidance, who knew a few shortcuts along the way, they reached their destination quickly. They only halted twice, once for a lunch break and once to pick flowers for Hao’s mother. 

The roads remained dry and there weren’t a lot of travelers either. Soon the towers of the castle appeared on the horizon. They had only been gone for a few days, but Hao felt like an eternity had passed. It felt good to be back.

The trip had been an enlightenment and a dream. 

Now, however, he was glad to return. This was where he was needed. 

The Rose Project and his father’s case needed to be worked on and Hao couldn’t wait to pour his entire heart and wisdom into it again.

Hao’s wrist was hurting as he leaned back and stretched in his chair. Another successful day had gone by. Today he had managed to write five more flying papers. Taerae and Matthew had stopped by the study as well and contributed two each. If they advanced like this, they would soon have undone the loss. 

Gyuvin and Ricky hadn’t returned from the Northern Empire yet. They had left after them and the trip was longer, so Hao didn’t expect their arrival until a few days later. Until then, they couldn’t form a new plan to spread the papers. So for now his main goal was to write up as many as possible so they could make a real impact when they found a good opportunity to set them flying once more. 

The next courting event had also been announced just as his mother had foreseen. However, it wasn’t a formal ball this time but a friendly picnic. Since the weather had turned mild, perhaps for the last time of the year, the Queen had decided they should make good use of the last rays of sun. 

His mother had allowed him to attend the event with Hanbin again, no longer insisting on chaperoning them. It would’ve been a bit ridiculous anyway, considering they already went on a trip without her supervision. 

She had been really quiet when Hao had visited her to tell her about the journey and deliver her the flowers. Hao wondered if she suspected the true nature of the trip. He had almost considered asking her about what he had discovered, but then backed out again. It didn't feel right. 

The moment had passed when Hao had mentioned the upcoming picnic, effectively getting his mother to go into planning mode again. Apparently, she was requesting a golden basket that Hao could bring to the event. Hao wouldn’t be surprised if even the blanket he would be sitting on would be color-matched to whatever his mother would make him wear that day.

 

He knew, one day he could no longer avoid the conversation. But for now, he focused on what he could do on his own. Which was writing flying papers and continuing to finish the old Rose Project scripture his father had left for him. 

He doubted Ricky and Gyuvin would be back in time for them to spread the papers at the courting event. The thought had crossed Hao’s mind, but he had immediately dismissed it. It would take place outside in the bright daylight. There was no way they could distribute the papers without being seen. 

He hoped Ricky knew of an event that would be a better opportunity. However, mostly he awaited their return to hear about Min Rei. 

Would she be brave and agree to go on record? Could they find a way to annul her exile?

There were so many questions that he hoped Gyuvin and Ricky could give him some answers to.  

 

A petal fell from the bouquet of anemones standing on his desk.

The cramps in his hand distracted him from his own drifting thoughts. He had been writing for hours. Outside the window he could already see the sun setting. Now that it was autumn, the days started to get shorter. The shift of the seasons always made Hao feel a little solemn. Approaching winter was the hardest time of the year for him. Not only because he was prone to freeze once the temperatures dropped, but also because…that was when his father had died. 

This year it felt especially hard. He felt like he had connected to his father in a different way in the past months. Learning about The Rose Project, speaking to people who had known him - his father hadn’t ever felt so alive to him since his death. It was weird. 

Hao knew that continuing his work wouldn’t bring him back, but it was a comforting thought that this way, a part of him would live on. 

 

He shook his head, brushing off his dreary thoughts. Whenever it got late, he tended to get lost in his own head too much. He rose to his feet, deciding to call it a day. 

Besides, he was supposed to meet Hanbin for dinner shortly. If he wanted to freshen up before that, he needed to head back to his rooms now. 

Carefully he hid all papers and the scripture underneath the loose wooden plank in the floor. Then he listened against the door if anyone was currently roaming the halls. When he couldn’t hear any footsteps, he considered it safe to leave. 

 

Swiftly he sneaked out of his father’s study. Fortunately he had been right and he was all alone in the hallway. He locked the door quickly. 

Just when he thought he would make it out unseen, a large figure walked around the corner. Hao nearly froze in place as he recognized him. 

Lord Yoon grinned as he spotted him across the hallway. 

It wasn’t forbidden for Hao to be down here, where the scholar’s offices were located. He and his mother were residing in the scholar’s quarters, so it wasn’t an odd place for him to be either.

Still, Hao wanted to avoid having a conversation about his whereabouts with the nobleman. He lowered his head and fastened his steps, hoping that Lord Yoon wouldn’t stop him. 

It was a naive conviction to have. 

“Zhang Hao,” Lord Yoon raised his voice once Hao was in his proximity. 

“Lord Yoon,” Hao greeted back politely, offering a short bow as a sign of respect to a higher standing person. 

Once again, he attempted to step past him, but Lord Yoon grabbed his forearm. 

Instinctively, Hao flinched back. His entire body trembled as he ripped himself out of Lord Yoon’s grasp. Those were the hands that had murder his father. The thought made him nauseous. 

Lord Yoon grinned wickedly at his reaction. “Are you feeling alright, Hao?”

No, Hao was not feeling alright. He glared up at Lord Yoon but quickly schooled his expression into a neutral one. He didn’t need to give Lord Yoon any more reason to suspect him. 

“I’m sorry, yes. I startle easily, it’s a bad habit,” Hao told him, lowering his eyes. 

Lord Yoon huffed. “I see.” Hao could feel his piercing gaze on him. “I’ve heard you went on a trip recently.”

It didn’t surprise Hao that Lord Yoon knew about the trip. For reasons he still couldn’t understand, Hao continued to be a popular topic for court gossip. Besides, he was certain Lord Yoon had eyes watching him. 

“Lord Sung invited me and my friends to his family’s cottage,” Hao relayed what was already public knowledge. 

Lord Yoon hummed. “So you are still set on pursuing Lord Sung?”

Hao lifted his gaze. The thought of Hanbin gave him courage. 

“I already told you that my choice is made.”

For the first time, Lord Yoon let his mask of indifference slip. He looked very dissatisfied. 

“I thought I made it clear that I strongly encourage you to reconsider,” Lord Yoon hissed, lowering his face down to Hao’s. “Perhaps I need to emphasize once more.”

Hao took a step backwards. He reminded himself of the dagger that rested hidden in his breast pocket. He doubted Lord Yoon would try to hurt him here in broad daylight, but he couldn’t help but feel scared by his intimidating presence. He was an alpha and a nobleman, after all, outranking Hao in all aspects. 

“I understood you clearly last time,” Hao spoke, his voice calm and steady despite his inner turmoil. 

Images of Matthew laying unconscious in the infirmary flashed through his head. Lord Yoon truly was ruthless in the pursuit of his wants. It probably wasn’t often that someone refused him. 

“I don’t think you did,” Lord Yoon insisted. “But I can make myself much clearer next time.”

Hao’s breath hitched. “N-next time?”

“I know what you are doing, Zhang Hao. I know what you want to do,” Lord Yoon stepped even closer until Hao was backed against the wall. “I also know who you hold close to your heart.”

“I-”

“Those papers…they won’t work. They are outrageous. It’s not how society works. Your father couldn’t change it and some little worthless omega like you certainly can’t either,” Lord Yoon snarled. “Tradition is what makes our kingdom great. I won’t let someone like you destroy our legacy.”

Hao could hear his heart pounding his head. Lord Yoon had never spoken so directly to him. His patience was running thin, it seemed, tired of his Hao’s defiance. 

“I could ruin you, Zhang Hao. It would be very easy,” Lord Yoon continued. “But you could be of use to me. So stop fighting and just listen to me.”

Hao swallowed. The scent of smoke coming from Lord Yoon was suffocating. 

“Why would I do that?” He asked, holding onto his last string of courage. 

“Because-” Lord Yoon placed a hand next to his head, leaning down so Hao couldn’t avoid his eyes. They screamed of danger. “I would spare you and everyone around you if you complied with my wishes.”

Hao was breathing heavily. This was a threat, as open as it could get. Hao wanted to run, push away Lord Yoon and defend himself - but his body felt weak. 

“I- I-” His tongue felt like it was made of lead, every word he tried to form heavy like cement. His voice was gone.

The sound of footsteps approaching saved him. 

Before Hao could do anything else, Lord Yoon stepped away from him. Without any further acknowledgement he disappeared down the hallway. 

Not a second later a scholar came down the stairs, head hidden behind a scripture. 

Hao’s knees still felt weak. He held onto the wall and inhaled deeply. Then he closed his eyes and counted to three. 

The scholar didn’t even notice him as she stepped past him, too engrossed in whatever she was reading.

Then Hao’s pulse sped up. Almost stumbling over his own feet, he hurried away. Totally distraught, he started walking, getting faster and faster until he was actually running. 

For the first time, he didn’t mind the looks he got. All he wanted was to be alone. He needed to be alone. 

 

Once he reached his room, he pushed the door open so hard it banged against the wall. Quickly he closed it, pushing Hanbin’s lock in place. Finally, his legs gave up underneath him. 

He sunk to the ground with his back pressed against the door. His hand found his heart, feeling it beat against his chest like it was punching its way outside. 

The room began to spin around him. His own breathing was so loud, Hao could hear its uneven rhythm. 

No. He couldn’t panic. He needed a sound mind. He needed to focus. 

He closed his eyes. He didn’t know how long he sat there, but after a while, calm settled back over his body. 

He breathed in and out one more time, before opening his eyes again. The room wasn’t spinning anymore. 

Hao gulped and stretched out his legs. He still wasn’t sure if he was able to get up just yet. 

 

So he sat. 

His mind was replaying the conversation with Lord Yoon over and over again. 

Nothing had happened to any of them since the incident with Matthew. Had they considered themselves too safe?

Back then, Hao had been ready to give up and lay the project to rest. If it hadn’t been for his friends empowering him to carry on, there would no longer be a Rose Project. 

Had it been a mistake? 

Hao didn’t want to think that, but he also didn’t want anyone else to get hurt. 

And Hanbin…Lord Yoon obviously disapproved of him. It sounded like he still wanted Hao to agree to a courtship with his own son, Seulchoo. Simply the thought was revolting!

Yet…Lord Yoon had murdered a man before when he hadn’t given in to him. 

Everyone assured him again and again that they knew what they were risking, that they thought it was worth it. But was it really worth it to sacrifice their life for?

Hao couldn’t bear the thought of losing even one of his friends. Wasn’t he the one leading them to their doom?

Just like his father had led Gunhee, Min Rei and all the others to their doom? Could they really stand a chance against Lord Yoon and his powerful connections?

 

Hao exhaled. He knew this would happen. He knew Lord Yoon was a threat. He knew he would try to intimidate him. 

He couldn’t let it get to him. 

This was too important.

He thought of his friends. About Taerae’s never-ending trust in him. About Matthew’s undying fight. About Ricky and Gyuvin, traveling across literal kingdoms because they believed in him. About Jiwoong’s quiet support and Gunwook’s loud enthusiasm. 

He thought about Park Gunhee and her bravery all those years ago and now. 

And he thought about Hanbin. About his smile and his love that only seemed to grow each day. 

They all relied on him. He couldn’t let them down. Lord Yoon didn’t have the power to make them lose hope. Not as long as they had each other. 

 

Hao wiped across his face once. Then he pulled himself up to his feet. 

He needed to talk to the others first. Tell them what Lord Yoon had admitted to. He had been the one responsible behind Matthew’s accident. He had at least seen the flying papers. He knew what they were about, just like he had known all those years ago. And he was once again trying to shut it down. 

His words were as much a threat as they were an admission. An admission that he feared The Rose Project.

Hao walked over to his desk. He needed to figure out a way they could all be a safety net to each other. Walking around the castle alone could be dangerous. 

He sat down but stopped in his tracks when he noticed what was laying on top of his desk. 

He blinked. He rubbed his eyes. He shook his head. 

But they were still there. The old flying papers. 

Was he hallucinating?

Lord Yoon had just admitted he had stolen them from Matthew after assaulting him! What were they doing on his desk all of a sudden? 

Was this a trap?

Hao picked up the one laying on top, inspecting it closely. There was no mistaking it. This was his hand-writing. His words. 

He had thought he’d never see the papers again. He thought Lord Yoon might’ve even destroyed them, burned them in a fire or thrown them in a river. Out of all places he had expected them to appear again, his desk had been far down the list!

A note had fallen to the ground when Hao had picked up the flying paper. Curiously, Hao crouched down to read it. 

 

I believe these are yours. Be careful. He wants to hurt you. Poison. 

 

A chill made Hao’s body shiver. He read the words again and again. 

It was simple language. The letters were a little messy, too. It looked like whoever had sent the note wasn’t writing very often, unpracticed in his expression and penmanship. So not a scholar. Certainly not Lord Yoon. 

A servant perhaps?

But how would a servant get access to the papers? Had they stolen them back from Lord Yoon? And how did they know they belonged to Hao?

Hao wasn’t particularly close to any servant except Matthew. He was kind to them, treated them with the respect they deserved. He was friendly with a few of the servants working in the kitchen, who had been interested in learning how to read and write from him. 

Hao had brought them some easy books from the library once - but they certainly weren’t close enough for them to commit a crime on Hao’s behalf. 

He read the note again. It clearly referred to Lord Yoon. What did the note writer know about him? They must’ve read the flying papers. Had they guessed why Lord Yoon was threatening Hao?

Questions and more questions. 

And then there was the last word. 

Poison. 

That one was the most alarming. It was the only thing Hao hadn’t already known. Especially after their conversation earlier it was painfully obvious that Lord Yoon wanted to hurt them. Now Hao had an idea on how he wanted to accomplish it. 

Poison. That seemed to fit a cunning man like Lord Yoon. No traces, no blood, no proof. If you knew the right people, you could easily get away with murder that way. 

Hao shivered. 

He needed to warn the others. Right now. 

 

Just as he got up to his feet, there was a knock on his door. 

For a moment he froze, scared to open it. Then he remembered that he was supposed to meet Hanbin for dinner. As always, the alpha was perfectly on time to pick him up. But food was the last thing Hao could currently think about. 

“Who is there?” He asked just to be safe. 

“Hao? It’s me, Hanbin,” a familiar voice answered. 

Hao exhaled relieved. 

Without any further hesitations he opened the door for Hanbin. He reached for his arm and hastily pulled him inside his room before locking the door again. 

The alpha looked a bit perplexed by the gruff greeting. 

“Hao? Is everything alright?” Hanbin asked him, confused. 

His gaze rested intently on his face. He must’ve noticed Hao’s distress right away as he brought his hands up to caress his cheeks.

“What happened?” Hanbin asked him. 

Despite his head being full of thoughts, words left Hao. He simply let himself drop forward into Hanbin’s arms. 

For the first time since encountering Lord Yoon his body lost its tension. Hanbin didn’t ask, simply holding him safely. Hao sighed and sunk deeper into the embrace.

The thoughts inside his head slowed down a little, letting him form a coherent idea of what to do. 

Instead of telling Hanbin what happened, he slowly pulled out of the embrace. He took his hand and guided him over to his desk. 

Hanbin frowned. “Are those the flying papers?”

Hao nodded. 

“Why are they here? I thought you were keeping them in your father’s study,” Hanbin asked, clearly not understanding yet. 

Hao inhaled. “That’s because these are not the ones I was working on recently. These are the old ones.”

Hanbin’s breath hitched. He turned to look at Hao with wide eyes. 

“You mean the ones Lord Yoon took from Matthew?” He asked for clarification. Clearly Hao wasn’t the only one who couldn’t believe this. 

“Exactly those,” Hao confirmed.

Hanbin’s mouth dropped open. 

“How did you get them back?” He asked befuddled. 

Hao shook his head. “I didn’t. Someone brought them here for me.”

He showed Hanbin the note. The alpha studied it quietly for a moment, eyebrows drawing closer. 

He frowned at Hao. “But- but- who?”

Hao shrugged. Then he took Hanbin’s hand. 

“I don’t know,” he replied. “But I think we might have to invite a few more people to our dinner.”

Notes:

thank you for reading!!

hehe starting off with some sweet haobin before diving more into the plot again!! what do you think!!
i really loved reading all your comments last chapter, hehe you guys are too sweet, thank you so much!! :3

everybody stay safe and healthy <3

Chapter 31: Jewelweed

Summary:

Jewelweed. symbolism of health, adaptability, and resilience; said to have magical healing properties, capable of warding off evil spirits and providing protection against negative energies

Notes:

hiii and welcome back!!
enjoy :3

It was the first time Hao was the last to arrive at a meeting for The Rose Project. 

It was also the first time they didn’t hold a meeting in his father’s old study. However, it had simply been more convenient to change the location of the meeting to the Sung residence. 

Lord and Lady Sung were out on a trip so their home was left empty for the time being.  Since Jiwoong and Matthew were staying there anyway, and Gunwook had transitionally joined Matthew in his chamber, it had been an easy choice. For Hanbin, it wouldn’t look suspicious to enter his parent’s rooms either. Besides, it would be far more comfortable to gather in one of the Sungs’ spacious sitting rooms than to squeeze into his father’s small study. 

Hao was currently hurrying down the hallway, already spotting the familiar wooden door of the residence, a metallic crest of the Sung family adorning it from the outside. 

It was late already, night having fallen over their kingdom. It was always dark for their meetings. Unfortunately, that was the only way to keep up the little secrecy that remained. 

Nervously, Hao looked over his shoulder. It was quiet. Technically, he wasn’t supposed to roam around so late on his own. But adhering to court rules wasn’t the only thing worrying him. Lord Yoon’s threat still rang in his ears. A much more imminent reason not to walk around the castle at night alone.

After Hanbin had found him in his rooms, he had immediately sprung to action. He had given Hanbin a brief summary, before instructing him to gather all members of The Rose Project. He also warned him to not eat any food and that none of them should eat or drink anything for the time being. 

Hao doubted Lord Yoon had already poisoned any of their food, but it was better to be safe than sorry. Hao wouldn’t risk any of his dearest friends getting poisoned. 

To warn his mother, he actually took inspiration from the mysterious well-wisher who had given him the information. He had quickly written a short note, telling her to be careful around food. He had changed his hand-writing enough so it wouldn’t be recognizable as his to her.

Hao hoped that would suffice. His mother was a smart woman, she would figure out what it meant. While he wanted to tell her outright, he couldn’t do so without confessing what he had been up to behind closed doors. 

Hao didn’t think he or his mother were ready for that conversation yet. 

Now, the reason he was late to his own meeting wasn’t that he had written a single note. He had actually made a trip to the scholar’s garden, which had taken longer than he had anticipated. 

 

Finally, he had reached the door of the Sung residence. He took a deep breath in. He checked if there was really nobody who had followed him, but everything around him remained quiet. 

He raised his fist to knock. 

Just a second later, the door was opened and Hanbin pulled him into a tight embrace. 

“Goodness Hao, you scared me so much!” He breathed, burying his nose into Hao’s neck. 

Hao wasn’t sure what to do, surprised by so much affection. They had only been apart for an hour at the most. But he would never deny Hanbin closeness. He brought his own arms around Hanbin’s shoulders and hugged him back. 

“Hey, enough over there!” A voice Hao recognized as Matthew scolded them. 

Hanbin tightened his hold one last time, before slowly pulling away. 

“Are you alright?” Hanbin asked him, scanning him as if to inspect his body for any injuries.

Hao laughed softly. “I’m perfectly fine. I was just in the gardens. Nothing happened.”

Hanbin exhaled relieved. “You told me to meet here with everyone as soon as it got dark. I got worried when you didn’t arrive.”

Finally, Hao understood why Hanbin had been so anxious. Especially after he had only given him a short rundown of what had occurred with Lord Yoon just hours earlier. 

“I’m sorry. It took me a little longer to collect enough, but I really only was in the gardens. Nothing happened,” Hao explained, feeling guilty for causing Hanbin anguish. 

Hanbin nodded, clearly just happy to see him unhurt. “Next time, I’m coming with you. I don’t like you being out alone after it gets dark.”

“Hey, you two, care to let us be part of the conversation too?”

This time it was Taerae interrupting, both eyebrows raised to his hairline. 

“Yes, Hanbin didn’t tell us a thing when he summoned us here,” Jiwoong added, crossing his arms. “I’m curious to find out what was so urgent.”

A bit embarrassed now by being so caught up in Hanbin, Hao took a step away from the alpha. His friends were lounging in the sitting room, watching them at the door with varying expressions. 

Hao cleared his throat. Then he crossed the room to join them. Hanbin followed, locking the door. 

“Right, I’m sorry. You all deserve an explanation,” Hao told them. “This is why I am late.”

“You brought food!” Matthew exclaimed at first when Hao put what he had collected down on the small table. Upon closer inspection Matthew realized that it wasn’t edible at all. “Why didn’t you cook it?”

Hao couldn’t help but laugh. 

“It’s not supposed to be cooked. This is Jewelweed. It’s-”

“-the mother of all antidotes,” Gunwook finished his sentence. 

Of course, the flowerboy had immediately recognized the plant. 

“Yes,” Hao confirmed with a nod and a smile. “It’s very effective against most poisons.”

“Poisons?” Taerae repeated. He gave Hao a look of skepticism. “Why would we need that?” 

“Is that why Hanbin forbade us to eat?” Matthew followed up. 

Everybody seemed to have the same question, glancing at Hao expectantly. 

“Yes. Lord Yoon found me again today. He…threatened me and everyone close to me,” Hao replied with the truth. 

The shock was visible on all their faces. 

“Did he do anything to you?” Jiwoong asked, similar to Hanbin scanning his body for injuries. 

“No, he just…threatened me,” Hao recounted, a shiver making his body shake at the memory. 

“He told you he would poison you?” Taerae questioned. 

Hao shook his head. That was the weirder part of the story. 

“No. When I returned to my room, I found an anonymous note. Together with these,” Hao said, pointing to the heap of flying papers Hanbin must’ve brought here earlier. 

“I was wanting to ask what was up with that earlier,” Taerae mentioned. “Aren’t these the ones who got stolen from us? By Lord Yoon?”

“Yes,” Hao confirmed Taerae’s suspicions. “He admitted as much to me during our…encounter. I was just as surprised as you when I found them just lying on my desk with a note warning me of poison.”

“So that's why you brought the Jewelweed,” Gunwook grinned. He turned around to everyone. “It’s really easy to use. If you start to feel queasy after any meal, you just chew on the petals. It’s best to keep it on your tongue for a while for all the antioxidants to properly unfold their effect.”

Gunwook had explained it far better than Hao could’ve. He had only read about Jewelweed in some of his father’s earlier works about flowers, remembering the plant to be a powerful antidote. Gunwook, who had worked his entire life with flowers, was far more experienced with these things. Once more he was glad to have Gunwook with them.

“Thank you,” Hao said gratefully. He distributed the flowers. “From now on, I want you to carry this with you at all times or at least have it nearby whenever you eat or drink. If you need more, there is more in the scholar’s garden. Come find me if you have trouble locating it.”

Everyone accepted the flowers without protest, trusting both his and Gunwook’s words. 

“Also, don’t accept food from anyone who you think could be bribed,” Hao continued. “Don’t have your meals alone. We should stay close to each other from now on. Especially once it gets dark. I don’t think poison is the only force Lord Yoon is willing to use to cause harm.”

Hao could feel Hanbin’s heavy gaze rest on him. He returned it with a small smile. 

There was silent agreement in the room to his suggested safety precautions. Nobody even voiced the idea of stopping The Rose Project. It touched Hao a little that everyone seemed to have faith in this, that they thought it was worth the risk. 

“Hao,” Taerae hummed. He studied the note that had been attached to the flying papers. “You really have no idea who this could be from? What if it’s a trap from Lord Yoon?”

Hao heard his concerns. “I’ve considered it. But it doesn't make sense. Why would he hand over the flying papers after going through the trouble of stealing them in the first place?”

“You think your mother might’ve written this?” Matthew suggested, snatching the note from Taerae. 

Hao determinedly shook his head. “If my mother found out about these, she would confront me directly. She’d want me to stop, not to continue.”

“Who else would want to support The Rose Project?” Jiwoong asked what they were all wondering. 

“It has to be someone close to Lord Yoon. Someone who Lord Yoon trusted with the location of the flying papers,” Hanbin muttered. 

“You don’t think Seulchoo-?” Matthew asked. 

Hao trembled with disgust. “No. Seulchoo wouldn’t be a supporter. He doesn’t see omegas as people to respect. He sees us as objects. He might not be the smartest, but I doubt he’d accidentally deliver these to me.”

“I also doubt Seulchoo is involved in much of his father’s scheming. He always was a blabbermouth, couldn’t keep a secret,” Hanbin added condescendingly. “He’d be a liability. He’s too dimwitted for conspiracy.”

It wasn’t often to hear Hanbin insult someone, but he had always held a stark dislike for Seulchoo. 

“When he was trying to court me, he told me his father instructed him to chase after me. I think he is just a pawn in his father’s game. He’s dangerous, but he’s not pulling any strings,” Hao agreed. 

“But then who else could it be?” Matthew raised the question again. 

Hao shrugged. “Judging by the handwriting, I was suspecting someone not used to writing a lot. It’s a bit clumsy.”

Matthew raised his head. “A servant?”

Hao shrugged again. “Does the Yoon family have a personal servant?”

Matthew huffed. “A few. Lord Yoon always hires the new arrivals. I think it’s because they are the most afraid to be sent away again. They are the easiest to control.”

“That sounds horrible,” Gunwook pointed out. 

“Yeah,” Matthew laughed bitterly. “He reached out to me, too, back then. Luckily, I already had an offer from the Sung family.”

Hao threw Jiwoong a glance, who met his eyes. It had been Jiwoong’s doing that Matthew had ended up with the Sung family. A much nicer employer than Lord Yoon. 

“Have you spoken to Lord Yoon’s servants before? Do you know them?” Hao asked. 

Matthew shook his head. “I don’t know them well. I spoke to them before, they’re all nice, but Lord Yoon is very…controlling on how they spend their time off. They don’t often join servant gatherings. They’re all young. I think they are afraid of speaking up and making a mistake. Most noblemen don’t like it if we talk about them behind their backs.”

Hao sighed heavily. While he was curious about the sender of the note, he didn’t want to cause trouble for them. After all, they had helped him out tremendously and probably risked their employment at the castle by doing so. All Hao really wanted to do was to thank them, but they probably had a reason for why they wanted to stay anonymous. 

“So, with these, we have probably enough to try distributing them again, don’t we?” Taerae asked, flicking through the pages and pages of flying papers. 

“Yes. We now practically have double the amount we had. It’s more than enough,” Hao agreed. “We only need an opportunity.”

“Gyuvin and Ricky are rumored to be back the day before the picnic,” Matthew let them know. 

Hao perked up with interest. Matthew’s gossip wasn’t usually the most reliable, but there always was a spark of truth in rumors.

“So soon?” He asked. 

“Yes, “ Matthew grinned. “People are saying they secretly got engaged in the Northern Empire so our King and Queen can no longer oppose a union.”

Hao snorted in amusement. “Well, at least they're not suspecting the real reason behind the trip then.”

“I’m really curious what they worked out with Min Rei,” Gunwook said. 

Hao shared his curiosity. Min Rei was the only living person who could give a statement to support Gunhee’s claims. 

“Me too,” he sighed. “But we should probably wait for Ricky and Gyuvin to be back until we decide on any further plans. Everyone in favor?”

All his friends nodded. 

They adjourned the meeting after that. 

It was only three days until the picnic. They would probably call another meeting soon after that. For now, they should put their focus on staying unharmed. 

His mother often summoned him to her rooms before courting events with the purpose of talking strategy and doing last-minute adjustments to the garments she had picked out for him.

So, Hao wasn’t overly surprised when a servant girl was sent to fetch him the morning before the picnic. These days, Hao exclusively ate breakfast with Taerae. It was safer to eat with someone else present. Luckily, they didn’t have to make use of the Jewelweed so far.

Being called to meet his mother crossed his plans. 

He asked the girl to inform Taerae that Hao couldn’t join him this morning. He hoped Taerae could find someone else to eat with. Perhaps Gunwook could keep him company. The flowerboy had mostly been laying low around the castle, disguising as a servant and following Matthew around on his tasks. Hao couldn’t imagine him turning down an invitation from Taerae, though. 

 

He walked down the familiar path to his mother’s rooms, which weren’t located far from his own. He was pleasantly surprised when he saw someone approach him from the opposite side of the hallway. 

“Hanbin?” He beamed happily. He hadn’t expected to see Hanbin earlier than dinner. 

Hanbin pulled him close and - after checking if other people were around - pressed a swift kiss to his cheek. 

“Good morning,” Hanbin greeted him, eyes sparkling with joy. 

“What are you doing here? Were you coming to see me?”  Hao asked him. 

Hanbin shook his head. “Your mother invited me to come see her.”

That was news to Hao. Usually, when his mother wanted to see Hanbin, she asked him to bring Hanbin. 

“You too?” Hao inquired. 

Hanbin shrugged. “I was also surprised.”

“Don’t you have to work?” Hao asked him. 

“Lord Baek excused me for the day,” Hanbin replied. “He was really understanding when I told him it was regarding our courtship.”

Hao made an intrigued sound. “Never picked Lord Baek to be a secret romantic.”

His comment made Hanbin laugh and the sound made Hao’s heart swoon. 

“You never know,” Hanbin chuckled, before turning to the wooden door. “So, shall we?”

Hao exhaled and nodded. Suddenly he was very curious why his mother had summoned both Hanbin and him.

Hanbin raised his fist to knock. Shortly after the door was opened by his mother. 

Hanbin lowered his head in respect. “Good morning, Lady Zhang. It’s good to see you again.”

She returned Hanbin’s bow halfheartedly, already pulling Hao inside by his wrist. 

“Come inside, we have much to discuss,” she urged them on. 

Hanbin followed them inside, closing the door behind him. 

“Mother,” Hao asked, slightly out of breath by the hurried welcome. “What’s this about?”

His mother didn’t answer directly. She hardly ever did. Instead, she motioned for them to sit, already pouring tea into cups. Then she pushed a plate of pastries towards them. 

“I thought we could have breakfast together,” she simply said. 

Hanbin and Hao exchanged a short glance, before obeying her wishes. 

In the corner of the room, Hao noticed a fresh bouquet of Jewelweeds. His mother must’ve gotten his message then. Slightly more relieved, he picked up his cup of tea and took a sip. 

“What gives me the pleasure of joining you this morning?” Hanbin asked politely. “Did you want to talk about tomorrow’s event?”

His mother regarded him with a sharp look. “Not directly.”

It had been a good guess. 

“What do you want then?” Hao asked, a lot more blunt than Hanbin. 

His mother sighed, putting her croissant back on her plate. “I see we won’t be able to eat until we’ve talked.”

“Oh, we can eat first!” Hanbin offered immediately. 

“I don’t think my son is that patient,” his mother countered.

She must’ve noticed the way Hao had been fiddling with the sleeves of his robes again. A nervous habit of his. But he found it strange. Was his mother suspecting something? Had she figured out the note was from Hao? But then why would she invite Hanbin along?

“Sorry. You just never invited both of us for breakfast before, I can’t help but wonder about the reason,” Hao admitted his curiosity. 

His mother didn’t seem too mad about his inquiry. 

“Well, I wanted to talk to both of you. About your future,” his mother finally answered. 

“Our future?” Hanbin repeated. He sounded surprised, and there was a hue of pink sneaking up his cheeks. 

“According to my sources, tomorrow’s picnic will be the last courting event of the season. Courting season will be officially over then,” his mother explained. 

Hao’s eyes widened. The year had progressed so fast. It felt like yesterday since he had been introduced to court. At the same time, it felt like an eternity had passed. Time was a strange thing.

“Since you are the only one courting my son, Hao won’t have to choose who to commit to. But you two do have to decide if you want to commit to each other and pursue mating,” his mother laid the cards on the table. 

Hao’s heart was pounding in his chest. It wasn’t like Hanbin and him had never talked about mating each other. It had come up a few times. However, now that they needed to make the decision officially, he felt weirdly nervous. 

Hanbin looked at him, holding out his hand for him. Hao took it right away, letting Hanbin hold it on his lap. 

“I love your son. I am deeply committed to him. If he will take me as his mate, I would be honored to submit our mating request to the royal court,” Hanbin said firmly. 

His eyes didn’t leave Hao as he spoke. His words filled his heart with warmth. 

“Hmm,” his mother hummed, making Hao turn his head away. She was smirking, amused. “How do you feel about mating, Hao?”

It felt like his mother already knew the answer. They weren’t exactly hiding their affections for each other. Still, Hao felt shy, averting his gaze and looking at his feet. 

“I want to mate, Hanbin. I…love him. I want a life with him,” Hao spoke the truth. 

He felt Hanbin squeeze his hand. When he lifted his gaze, he saw Hanbin smile at him with so much fondness, it made his heart glow. 

His mother leaned back in her chair. “As I expected. That’s good. As Hao’s chaperone and his mother, you have my blessing.”

Hao gave his mother a grateful smile. Hanbin bowed to her deeply. 

“I will do right by your son, Lady Zhang. He will be loved until the day I die,” Hanbin promised.

“Good,” his mother said. She sounded strict, but Hao could hear the happiness swing in her voice. “Now to the organizational aspects. Do you know what you have to do?”

“I have to submit an official mating request to the court. Then the Queen will invite us to the winter solstice, where she decides if she will bless our union or not,” Hanbin answered, clearly having informed himself of the process. 

Hao, who had mostly relied on his mother for all courting regards, was surprised to hear there were so many steps involved. 

“The request is just a formality. However, getting the Queen’s blessing is important,” his mother said. “She hasn’t objected to many unions yet, but without it, you cannot get mated in this kingdom.”

Hao heard of the tradition before. It was ancient. In ancient times, the leader of a pack had to approve of new unions to make sure they weren’t to be challenged for power by a strategic match. It was also to prevent forced matings, a last safety instance for omegas to be protected from unwanted advances. 

Today, it was more of a ceremonial procedure. 

“What could make her want to object?” Hao asked, finding that part of the tradition particularly odd. 

“If she thinks your mating is of severe disadvantage for one of you. If she has reason to suspect one of you is not faithful to his heart,” his mother named reasons. “Or if your union could be a danger to the kingdom.” 

Hao swallowed. Would they get approval if the truth behind The Rose Project gets out? Would they be considered a danger to the kingdom? 

Hanbin seemed to sense his distress, because he held his hand a little tighter.

“We will get her approval,” Hanbin announced, full of certainty. 

“I’m counting on it,” his mother told him. “The request has to be submitted by the alpha in the union. You will need my signature as Hao’s chaperone, so come find me after the pirnic again so we can finalize all the formalities.”

Hanbin nodded determinedly. 

“Also, I’ll need to get your measurements,” she announced. 

“I- what?” Hanbin looked puzzled for the first time. 

“If my only son will get mated by the end of the year, he and you both need to have appropriate garments for the occasion. I don’t want your robes to be mismatched,” his mother explained casually. 

Hanbin blinked. “You want to make me a robe?”

“Yes,” his mother confirmed. “My son has a reputation for his beauty. You will not ruin it.”

Hanbin chuckled, baffled. 

“I- thank you,” he said, bowing his head again. “Er- I can pay you?”

His mother snorted. “I don’t want your money,” she leaned forward, her eyes getting a dangerous gleam. “I want you to keep your word.”

She didn’t say it outright, but it was obvious what she meant. Hanbin had promised Hao anything. Hanbin had promised to give them full access to their inheritance, which would become his after mating Hao. 

“I will,” Hanbin replied firmly. 

They looked at each other for a long moment. His mother was a guarded woman, clever and sharp, not easy to be fooled. But to Hao it was clear that she had started to trust Hanbin a long time ago. 

“Good,” his mother leaned back in her chair. “Write up the request and find me to take your measurements as soon as possible.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Hanbin agreed. 

Finally, his mother smiled. The atmosphere in the room shifted at once. 

“Can we finally eat now?”

Hao let out a relieved laugh. 

He hadn’t expected to have this conversation when he woke up this morning, but somehow, he was glad how things had turned out. 

Everything about his future might be blurry and unsure - everything but Hanbin. And as long as Hanbin was in his future…it couldn’t be too bad, could it?

When Hao returned to his rooms that night, he was tired but happy. Hanbin had kissed him goodnight at his doorstep, making Hao’s heart flutter in the best of ways. No doubt would he dream about that kiss and Hanbin’s smile tonight. 

He was so overcome with joy he almost didn’t notice the two letters that had been slipped underneath his door it seemed. Only when he stepped on them and caused them to slide across the room did he realize their existence. 

Curiosity took over, ending his love-drunken daze. Just as Hanbin had reminded him, he locked his door before crouching down to retrieve both letters. Unfortunately, one of them had slid underneath his bed, making him lie flat on the ground and nearly dislocate his shoulder to get it out. He just so grasped it, reaching for it with his fingertips.

His robes were a bit dusty when he finally got back up to his feet. Luckily he had seen his mother in the morning, or she would’ve scolded him for his messy appearance. 

The two letters looked very different. One of them looked like the simplest piece of paper, folded it half twice to conceal its content. The other one was a proper envelope, heavy parchment paper and a wax sigil sealing it close. 

Hao’s face lit up as he recognized the sigil. It was that of the Shen family. Ricky. 

He disregarded the mysterious slip of paper for the time being, instead carefully opening the letter that must’ve come from Ricky. 

 

Dearest Hao, 

Gyuvin and I have safely arrived back at the castle from our trip to the Northern Empire. What a riveting journey! You won’t believe the people we’ve met and what we’ve learned from them. I have to tell you everything as soon as possible. Hopefully, we’ll see each other at tomorrow’s picnic. 

Sincerely, 

Ricky

 

It was a short message, but it told Hao everything he needed to know. So Ricky and Gyuvin were indeed back. Perhaps, they had come to his room to speak to him, but Hao had been absent, having dinner with his Hanbin. Hence, why they left him a letter instead. They were clever enough to not write about their trip directly. Like this, the letter read like a friendly message of two acquaintances waiting to catch up with each other. 

People they’ve met - that must refer to Min Rei. So they managed to meet her. 

Hao wondered what she might’ve told them. His legs started to get a little restless, but he knew that it was unwise to seek Ricky out so late into the night. 

Besides, it sounded like Ricky would attend tomorrow's courting event. They’d be able to schedule a meeting with everyone there. After all, Ricky and Gyuvin also needed to be caught up to speed with recent revelations. 

Hao read the letter one more time, just to make sure he didn’t miss a hidden message. Then he swallowed down his untamable curiosity. He’d have to wait one more day to find out everything Ricky and Gyuvin had come to know. 

Hearing from Ricky so unexpectedly almost made Hao forget about the second note. Perhaps something Ricky had forgotten to add in the letter? Who else would write to him?

Carefully, Hao put the letter from Ricky aside, hiding it in a drawer of his desk. Then he regarded his attention to the much more inconspicuous note. He squinted his eyes at the little piece of paper. He sighed. 

With slow fingers he unfolded it. 

He thought Ricky’s message had been short and secretive, but this note was even shorter. 

 

Applejuice. Beware. 

 

At first, Hao couldn’t help but snort in bewilderment. The two words together sounded ridiculous. Who would write him such a nonsensical, cryptic note?

However, something about the handwriting looked familiar. It was…clumsy. Unpolished. 

A thought crossed Hao’s mind like lightning. He opened the drawer of his desk again, pushing Ricky’s letter aside. 

There it was! The mysterious note that had come attached to the returned flying papers. 

Hao inspected the letters closely, but seeing the two notes next to each other, there was no doubt. It had to be the same person writing these. 

Poison. Applejuice. 

Suddenly, the note didn’t seem all that funny anymore. So far, nothing had happened regarding the poison threat. Was this another hint? Would the apple juice at tomorrow’s picnic be poisoned? It made Hao shiver. 

It seemed like he had his work cut out for him tomorrow. 

He regarded the note one more time with scrutiny.

Whoever this mysterious messenger was, sending Hao these warnings…they were truly a guardian angel.

Notes:

thank you for reading!!

im a bit unhappy with the chapter huhu i feel like it sort of acts more like a glue between last chapter and next one where a lot more will be happening, but i still hope it's enjoyable?

anyway, everybody have a great day!! :3

Notes:

Thanks for reading!!
Always nervous to start of a new story, I'm curious to see where this'll take us :3

This is just a short and sweet intro to set the scene before we dive more into all the plot and characters right next chapter :)
I'm really excited to share everything and would be so interested to see what you think so far!! :D

If you feel like it, you can also check out my Twitter: @thoughtsbyKiki
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