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After finishing his training for the day, Phainon began the journey back to his quarters, muscles sore and sweat drenched. Though the sun still shone in Okhema, it was admittedly getting late. No matter how many times he’d taken this route, the city was as picturesque as ever. Between the scenery and impressive architecture, he never got bored of the view. It was almost home. Few people were still out, so he could go straight to his destination uninterrupted. He was usually happy to stop and talk about virtually anything: idle gossip, the market’s wares, helpings of humour. But tonight he had a commitment.
Once he arrived, he set his sword down in its usual spot by the window with a quiet clang. It felt heavier on the journey than when he swung it, other weights tying themselves to his synapses as the solitude invited what it always did. When he relinquished his weapon, strife was laid to the side, a pang of anxiety remaining as anticipation flooded in to join. Would tonight be a reward for his efforts, or a reprieve from them? He only had to wait a little longer.
Per usual, a quick bath soaked up the aftermath of his workout, tension washed away down the drain. He changed into a short and breathable chiton, taking a moment to rake his hair into place.
He checked his teleslate, typing out a simple: “are we still doing it?”
Not even a minute elapsed, and he got a response: “yup. I’m in my room. Dan Heng’s staying late in the library. I think Mem’s gone with him too.”
“Great! I’ll head over now”, he sent back, followed by an emoji of a chimera jumping for joy.
To an outside observer, Phainon knew what the whole thing would seem like. Going to Caelus’ room at a late hour when they knew they wouldn’t be disturbed? How Aglaea would tease them… They weren’t up to anything so lurid, thankfully. How could they be ready for something like that now?
It was all planned a few days earlier over some honeycakes. Each of them had to come up with something they could do together that would feel special. Intimate. A play date, to be coy. Amidst the Flamechase, breaks had to be seized whenever possible. The Chrysos Heirs had held a meal together the other evening, but now was time for just the two of them.
Since they’d already bathed together many times before, Phainon’s first idea was shot down immediately. Sparring also didn’t seem quite right in this case. It had to be relaxing, done in the privacy of Caelus’ room. Hand holding was too simple, and cuddling could come after. Trust falls couldn’t be relished. Reciting poetry also felt too one-sided. If only Aglaea weren’t busy with the council…
In the end, he’d ended up going to the library to look for ideas. After hours of searching, his head fell onto the desk in defeat. A minute later, Anaxa dropped a book on it and left without saying a word.
A Treatise on the Delicate Art of Intimacy. Written by the Demigod of Romance.
It was worth a try, he supposed, and Professor Anaxa had gone out of his way to find it for him. He expected something overly mushy or pretentious, but it was actually quite a fascinating read. Eye opening, in fact. He would certainly revisit it later, knowing that he needed all the help he could get in a subject he had precious little familiarity with. He turned to a section on intimacy exercises. There were common themes of trust and closeness, though one stuck out to him. He found himself excited at the idea of trying it.
Phainon picked up the book from his desk, quickly revised the steps, then set it down and left for Caelus’ room. He had to do this right.
He knocked twice, so giddy and nervous that he opened the doors himself. There was Caelus, draped reverently over a large plush of a seal. Phainon grinned, closing the doors behind him and making his way over.
“Already found someone else, have you?”
Caelus turned his head over so he could face Phainon, still sinking into the plush. “Yeah, this is your new love rival. Try not to be jealous.”
“No promises.”
He walked over and leaned down to give Caelus a brief hug. They often greeted each other with one these days, and sometimes ambushed each other from behind. Needless to say, only half the time did it not result in a near-injury.
Caelus took a seat on his bed, patting the space next to him while he crossed his legs. He started to rub his neck sheepishly, not quite meeting Phainon’s gaze.
“So…I’m gonna sound really desperate for this, but I’ve hardly thought about anything else, except tonight, for days.”
Phainon moved in alongside him, sheets rustling as he settled into place. He was relieved that Caelus felt the same.
“Then let us be desperate together.”
Caelus laughed. “Did that sound better in your head?”
This was met with a light punch to the arm and an overplayed roll of the eyes. “Shut up.”
They both sighed as the laughter died down, Caelus leaning back on his hands while Phainon rested his on his lap.
“Would you like to go first?” asked Caelus, inclining his head.
Phainon was happy he’d asked first, because he felt rude requesting outright. There was nothing else he cared about now beside sharing what he’d discovered.
He nodded, eyes alighting with excitement. “You won’t be disappointed. I found this technique in a book Professor Anaxa lent-“
“Wait, Anaxa gave you a romance book? Maybe Aglaea’s rubbing off on him…”
“It’s a treatise on intimacy. By Aglaea, funnily enough. It contains some intimacy exercises. I found one we can try.”
Caelus raised an eyebrow. “Like naked cuddling and stuff?”
“Well, yes, but this is different. Just as pleasant though, I hope.” He offered an expression of resolution. “I promise.”
“Lead the way, oh wise and noble Snowy.”
“Is it too much to request an original nickname?” Phainon tilted his head to one side.
“I’ll get back to you on that.”
Phainon guided them both through it. First, they had to shed their clothes except for their underwear. A few weeks earlier, there might have been hesitation or embarrassment. Instead, they simply got on with it, and set the garments aside. Focused as they were on getting it right, neither had to try hard to avoid staring too much. This wasn’t about how handsome the man in front of him was. At least, not entirely.
Next, they knelt on the bed, across from each other, but close. They brought their hands to rest on the other’s shoulders gently, holding on without clinging. Both had done their fair share of fighting, yet their palms and fingers still held a reassuring delicacy, soft as their souls. Phainon couldn’t help offering a quick squeeze of reassurance.
They breathed deeply, in and out, chests rising and falling steadily. Soon, their breathing was synchronised, now the only perceptible sound. All the while, they stared into each other’s eyes until nothing else seemed to exist. Brilliant blue and vibrant yellow, framed by warm faces. They searched for nothing, waited for no sudden move, just looked. So much life in such tiny pieces of a larger whole…
Caelus pictured a memory of Phainon treating a baby seal for injuries. His movements were careful, and his expression was the epitome of focus, yet it could never hide the deep kindness blossoming from within. Strong and gentle at once; a blessing worthy of The Equilibrium THEMSELF. He was the pole star in the sky guiding the journey onward, though never so distant. In this universe of uncertain possibilities, here was something to be certain of.
Phainon recalled a time when Caelus told a joke so ridiculous they were both in stitches. Focusing on the details of the joke itself would only ruin the moment. It was theirs alone. He remembered how weightless he felt as he laughed, how oddly relatable he found it, and how easily Caelus’ features could make the most precious pictures. Everything would be okay, because here amidst the bleakness was a light.
With their memories in mind, they leaned in, closed their eyes, and pressed their foreheads together, stray strands of hair tickling skin. They simply existed now, as one unit. The skin contact that initially came as a shock was now fading into the background as they fused into each other. Any conception of time’s passage was immaterial, this frozen felicitation the eye of the storm amidst the racing of the world.
As they resurfaced from the pool of stillness, a moment passed where each waited for the other’s next move. Yet as they waited, their eyes met as nebulas once more, an undeniable pull tugging at their very beings. Caelus leaned in a little closer, almost on instinct, as Phainon’s gaze darted between holding eye contact, and his lips. Another move forward, slightly hesitant, a hair’s breadth apart now. There was no turning back now.
Before they knew it, their lips had pressed together in a slow, tender kiss. Caelus rested his hands at the base of the man’s neck, not quite sure what to do with them. Phainon meanwhile, cupped his face on both sides, loose but unwilling to let go. Entirely instinctual now, they both went along with it, not worrying about what was or wasn’t the right way to kiss. It felt good, cathartic after all the waiting, but monumental even in isolation. There was a fire of excitement in them, yes, but after the exercise, it was more a swaying candle flame than a firework. An uncountable number of heartbeats later, and they pulled away gradually, mildly flushed.
Phainon spoke first after what felt like an era, allowing them both to gather themselves a little.
“How was that? All of it, I mean.”
It was as wonderful as he’d imagined it, and of course he expected a positive response, but he needed to hear him say it, a part of him wondering if it wasn’t enough.
“Incredible,” was the only word Caelus could manage, almost breathing it.
Between the exercise, the kiss, and the bewildered joy on his lover’s face, Phainon felt a strange surge of confidence. He almost asked: “what should we do now?” With an encouraging smile, hushed to barely above a whisper, he instead posed: “what do you want to do now?”
Half in his own world, Caelus scrambled for a witty response, desperate to return to their usual silliness before he collapsed from the heat of it all.
Nothing came to mind.
A patient silence passed. The Trailblazer scratched his head, wondering if he’d pull an idea loose. “I’ve done a bit of flirting here and there, but I’ve never gotten this far. Um…”
If Caelus were being honest, he would have admitted that he hadn’t decided ahead of time what to do for his ‘special thing’. He had tried, of course, but distractions were abundant in this vibrant new world, and he’d winged plenty of things before.
Think. Think. Think. Think. I just kissed him. Think. Think. Think. Or did he kiss me? Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. He tasted so good. Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. Think.
Through some peculiar word association, his synapses drudged up a rare point of agreement between Dan Heng and March: watching a movie together was perfect for any relationship, platonic or romantic.
March leaned forward in her seat. “Watching a movie together is always the way to go! It’s a cliché for a reason, you know.”
Dan Heng brought a hand to his chin. “Come to think of it, I have read that you can build emotional associations through shared evocative experiences. A film would be an excellent method.”
He blinked away the recollection. His phone was working on Amphoreus. Even if he couldn’t connect to the internet, he had a couple of movies downloaded for whenever they might be needed. With trademark cockiness, he’d once considered how it might be saved for a hypothetical date. He didn’t feel so smooth and charming now that the real deal had arrived. Being earnest would have to do.
“I might have an idea. We don’t have to do it, obviously, but it might be fun.”
Phainon chuckled. “Your ideas are always fun! What have you got for me this time?”
Caelus pulled out his phone. “Dan Heng’s mentioned movies to you, right? I was wondering if you wanted to see one?”
“Of course! I’d love for you to share it with me.” His proverbial tail was wagging.
As the player loaded, Phainon chatted away, such was his reputation.
“I’ve attended a few theatre performances in Okhema here and there. Even got called up onstage once. It went…passably. A ‘movie’ is just one of those but on video, isn’t it?”
“Come to think of it, it’s rather peculiar that we don’t have ‘movies’ but do have messaging services. I’ll have to broach the idea to Aglaea sometime.”
“If I’ve not watched one before, will it hurt my eyes? I suppose if it’s on a teleslate, or indeed a ‘phone’ screen, it shouldn’t matter.”
“I must seem like such a simpleton to you, having no knowledge of something so ubiquitous beyond the sky. Though, in fairness, it was the other way around when I first showed you around Okhema.”
In the meantime, Caelus searched through his saved films. Choices, choices…Phainon would surely appreciate a bit of action, but given the tone of the evening, maybe something less intense would work, like a romance. He could also see him enjoying a good comedy with how quick to wisecrack he was. The plays in Amphoreus tended to lean more on the dramatic end, so that could be a factor. An action romantic dramedy was what he needed. Truly a needle in a haystack.
He searched and searched, until he found the perfect film: Love, Death, and Space Whales.
He tried his absolute best to explain the absurd premise to Phainon, who nodded along, somewhere between eager and thoroughly confused. “I can’t say I predicted that, but it’s intriguing all the same. I’m putting my trust in your taste here, so for your sake, I hope it’s worth the wait,” he teased.
Neither of them wanted to go grab snacks. The most they could find in the room were a couple of flatbreads nabbed from the market earlier. As Caelus went to press play, he realised that there was one other opportunity worth taking here. He grabbed a massive, fluffy blanket and wrapped it around them both in one fluid motion. Phainon beamed at the gesture, adjusting the blanket so it fit perfectly. They half lay back against the pillows, setting the phone down on a makeshift mountain of quilt cover.
“There, now we’re ready.” He pressed play.
Under the blanket, they began to snuggle close to one another. Caelus wrapped an arm around Phainon, who rested his head against his shoulder. It felt like nothing in the world could harm them. The warmth they shared brought more comfort than even the greatest fireplace. They were safe in a cozy sanctuary of their own creation, close as could possibly be. Phainon was utterly glued to the novel experience before him, but managed to divert his attention away long enough to sneak small glances at Caelus, who did the same in turn. It was a game of who could catch the other staring, albeit one that no one truly lost.
Caelus always debated whether he preferred to watch films on his own, or if they were better with company. On the Express, the crew sometimes held movie nights. There was fighting over snacks, and then fighting again over who ate them all. Pauses for toilet breaks and the briefest of responsibilities, such as engineering checks. The sofa space had to be shared evenly, no matter how comfy it was stretching out.
March was so animated in her reactions she might as well have been a show herself. Dan Heng shushed, yet still let out musings about the production here and there. Himeko and Welt were naturally the least disruptive, but even they had their moments depending on the film.
Then there was Caelus, the wildcard midpoint between March and Dan Heng. Suffice it to say, he avoided watching sad films with the others.
Viewing all alone came without many of these compromises, and he could never say no to convenience. Ultimately, they were two different experiences with their own merits. Some films were better alone, some with others. He was, however, starting to lean towards watching with someone being the better option…
As it turned out, Phainon was one to really get into it. Laughter so infectious that they both had to have been drunk. Tears that fell without shame, a catharsis he sorely needed. Shuffles of excitement as his blood pumped at the action scenes. A sweet little smile that was occasionally accompanied by a blush. Caelus was right there with him at each stage. If they’d watched a horror film, would he jump out of his seat? Were these responses something he could only express with him, a chance to be even more childish than usual? Still, he was quiet in the moments that warranted silence. It was a marvel how much he changed the whole viewing experience.
Even when the film ended, neither particularly wanted to move. They’d practically molded into the blanket, any significant shift a potential threat to how the fluffy snow of their comfort had settled.
Their voices held one conversation about the film, while their bodies held another, small, soothing touches being offered casually. Phainon unleashed a silo of questions, just like when he was a student at the Grove. Some had simple answers relating to the general art of filmmaking. Others were more complicated, because despite having a title like Love, Death, and Whales, the film wasn’t shallow by any means. Caelus was tempted to feed him some amusing false answers, but his enthusiasm was too adorable to meet with disingenuousness.
Caelus had by this point swallowed his pride, letting any desire to play it cool like some debonair playboy fade away. Melting into a lovey-dovey puddle wasn’t as embarrassing as he expected. The urge to stay arranged exactly as they were was almost overwhelming, but the prospect of cuddling properly under the covers began to outweigh it.
“As much as I’d love to stay like this, if we get into bed now, we won’t have to move at all for the rest of the night.”
Phainon let out a clipped giggle. “Overcoming laziness to be lazy…Inspirational. I’ve no complaints.”
Like an ancient machine whirring to life, Caelus moved out of their blanket sanctuary and climbed into bed. It was decidedly less effort for Phainon, though he felt it a shame they had to shift.
“You’ve been training, I’ve been scavenging for treasure among Okhema’s scraps: we’re resting, not lazing.”
They arranged the covers over themselves, each lying on their side facing the other. Phainon reached out and took Caelus’ hand in his, pressing a kiss to the palm.
“I suppose. Though, it’s still relatively early. We have plenty of time to talk, if you’d like. Tell me more about other ‘movies’ you’ve seen.” He winked, voice now just above a whisper. “They’ll be my bedtime story.”
Approximately two hours later, they finally closed their eyes to try and sleep. But of course, two uninterrupted hours talking was a luxury worth the late bedtime.