What a Drag!

by smileatthesky

Summary:

The Seafam go to a drag show with Percy!

Notes:

A follow on from the previous work in this series - Viewing Party!

Unfortunately for Percy, Rhode was not a Goddess known for forgetfulness. So, roughly two weeks later Percy was sitting on the subway on the way to a drag bar, sandwiched between two Gods, and Annabeth was sitting across from them, trying not to laugh at the sight.

Following the swim meet incident, Percy should have guessed that none of his family would be subtle for this outing. Rhode, true to her nature, had done extensive research on the concept of drag shows and performance art, and had stumbled upon a variety of famous drag queens to educate the rest of her family about. The previous night’s Atlantis dinner was paired with a pseudo-PowerPoint presentation from Rhode about influential drag queens such as RuPaul, and Trixie and Katya. Triton in particular had taken a liking to the way that Trixie’s eye makeup and had painstakingly attempted to replicate it for the evening. Unfortunately, even after four hours in front of the mirror, he was left looking more similar to a raccoon than a drag queen. Annabeth had (as kindly as possible) inquired as to why he didn’t use his Godly powers to simply apply the perfect replication of Trixie’s makeup. Apparently, Triton was rather taken with the concept of drag as an art form, and did not feel right about stealing a signature look, and that he must follow the tutorials offered to be true to the art.

Percy was trying to be as plain as possible to counteract his family in a simple black jacket and jeans, Annabeth, with a sparkly top and rhinestones glued to the outer corners of her under eyes, was probably the next in line of subtlety. Kym and Rhode were not terribly more excessive in their outfits, Rhode because she had compiled extensive research on the average drag show attendant's dress, and so had stuck with sparkled fishnets as her statement piece; and Kym because her general style gave such an air of coolness that the body glitter she had employed for the night elevated it without seeming costumed.

Amphitrite had been unable to attend this evening due to her book club falling on the same day (“I’m terribly sorry to miss it, but the club only meets once every decade, so I have to make an appearance,” she had said apologetically). Percy was quietly thankful for this as he was not uncertain that she would have attended in a full-blown ball gown. Why does Percy think this? Because his father was sitting next to him in a full three-piece suit with a matching monocle and pocket watch. His reasoning was that if he was attending a show, it would be rude not to show up in his best evening wear.

To give Percy’s blood pressure some relief, Triton had spent so long on his makeup, that he didn’t get a chance to pick out an outfit to match and was just in his everyday wear. Unfortunately, this seemed to make his makeup seem even more out of place.

Thankfully, the people of New York are rather desensitized to odd-looking individuals or groups riding the subway, so bar a couple of odd glances (and maybe a not-so-subtle photo or two), the ride to the bar was mostly uneventful.

“Tell me again why we had to take the Subway?” Annabeth asked as she pushed through the busy turnstiles at their station, “Could they not have like, teleported with us to the bar?” She was looking ahead of Percy, up the stairs to see if Piper was at the top waiting for them yet.

“Because what’s the point of having a New York experience if you aren’t going to experience it like a New Yorker!” Poseidon threw his hands up in emphasis, and attempted a truly terrible, and rather derivative, New York accent.

“Besides, it would be much too difficult finding a suitable place to land, with how busy the city gets during the nightlife,” Percy didn’t bother questioning why Kymopoleia knew so much about New York nightlife politics.

“Hi guys! Woah,” Piper paused during her greeting at the sight of Percy’s extended family. Truth be told, she was quite convinced that Annabeth and Percy had been lying when they said 4 Gods would be joining them at the drag show, “you guys look incredible!”

Triton gave a small bow in thanks, whilst Triton blushed slightly at the compliment. “A pleasure to meet you finally Miss McLean,” Rhode extended her hand in greeting.

“The pleasure is all mine my Lady,” a small curtsy from Piper brought a smile to Rhode’s face.

As Piper continued to properly greet the Godly company, Percy and Annabeth began to scope out the bar. Piper had, on the recommendation of Lacy and Gracie, booked the group a table at a larger drag show. The hope was that with a larger crowd, the Gods may go slightly more unnoticed, as well as that Percy’s family could get a more immersive experience.

Piper presented their tickets to the bouncer at the door and led the group through the dark entranceway and into the main bar. Surrounding a large central runway and stage, canopied by dark purple velvet curtains with twinkle lights suspended from the ceiling was a scattering of tables of various sizes and cleanliness. Thankfully, and surprisingly to Percy, the Gods seemed to blend right in, and if anything, they were underdressed when compared to the majority of other patrons. Most tables were already occupied by collections of colourful, drunk, and excited groups, and the line for the bar was getting longer by the second.

Piper pointed out the table they’d gotten for the show, a front row bar height table with chairs all on the one side so that everyone could watch the performance. Annabeth expertly weaved through the crowd to forge a path for the others to follow. Rhode was complimenting Piper on her excellent seating choice, and Triton was turning redder by the minute as he was being complimented on his makeup from one of the tables. Even Poseidon was getting complimented on the drag reference of his three-piece, and was feeling rather chuffed.

When Percy got himself situated at the table, he noticed that Triton was not with the group and looked over to see him immersed in conversation with the group of guys who had complimented his makeup. He went to retrieve him when Kym put a hand on his arm, “Don’t they’re harmless. Just discussing cut crease techniques and how to get maximum glitter payoff,” Percy maybe understood three of those words.

Just as Piper and Annabeth returned with the groups’ drinks and Triton had finally made his way back from the other table, with a small sheet of paper in his hands that he’d used to take notes on, the lights began to dim. An extravagantly dressed drag queen made her way on stage and began to welcome everyone to the show and introduced the first performer.

It was easy for Percy to forget that his family once lived in ancient Greece, and had blindingly extra performances and parties frequently, given that they seemed so, well so old, most of the time. But he will never be able to wash the picture of a pink-haired, sequin-wearing, drag queen taking a $20 note out of Poseidon’s hands by biting on it out of his mind. Ever.

Percy felt that it was rather unfair to the other tables how much attention their group was getting. Kym and Rhode had been prepared, bringing along enough bills to fund a small army, and word seemed to have gotten out among the queens that the table of ridiculously attractive newbies was the one to entertain for the big bucks. Even Percy had been convinced to sheepishly throw a few notes onto the stage for the performers. That’s right, Percy Jackson, one of the seven, slayer of giants,and destroyer of Kronos, was nervous to offer money to drag queens. This was a fact that Annabeth and Piper had been giggling about whilst he went red in the face when Miss Fortune had winked and given him a special shoutout for his generous donation.

“I must say, these ladies are rather talented. I can’t imagine being able to gyrate that much whilst singing so incredibly,” Poseidon was truly amazed at the performances. Percy wanted to wash his brain out with soap at hearing his dad say ‘gyrate’ .

“Dad, it’s called lip-syncing. The music’s playing and they’re just mouthing the words,” Percy yelled over to him. The excited screams and cheers coming from Kym, Rhode, and Triton didn’t help. Percy hadn’t seen Rhode this undistinguished since, well literally ever.

“Well, I know they’re not playing the music live, there’s nowhere for the orchestra, I’m talking about the words,” Poseidon yelled back with a scoff.

“No Dad,” Percy tried to think how to explain it, “The music that’s playing includes the words, and the queens just pretend to be singing,”

“Sorta like J-Lo,” Kym leant over, before returning to the enthralling ass-shaking of Bella Donna.

“How in Hades’ name does he not know what lip-syncing is, but knows who J-Lo is?” Piper was rather confused.

“I have no clue,” Percy just shrugged.

After staying through all the performances, a strong “BRAVA” from Poseidon at the end of each act, Triton was begging Rhode to stay behind with him and Kym to get signatures from the queens. Unfortunately, the bar had a no loitering rule unless previously organised and advertised by the queens, so the bouncer quickly shooed the group along. Percy, Annabeth, and Piper were bewildered by how casually he had dismissed a group of Greek Gods. If they hadn’t been so busy chattering about how exhilarating the show had been, Percy was pretty sure that bouncer would have been turned into a fish of some sort. Was that something his father could do?

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 6 of Seafam my beloved