Apothecary for the Acrimonious

by Ambrosia (AmbrosiaCider)

Summary:

“ALL I AM IS BEING NICE AND THEYRE ACTING LIKE THEYRE GONNA JERK OFF TO MY MESSAGES TONIGHT… LIKE WHAT ARE WE DOING“

or

Survivors (+ killers if I ever get to them) dilly dallying

Props to my friends for inspiring stupid shit like:

“i’m gonnna hit myself this truck keeps making laps aorihnd my house. where is my short bus 😔“

“br is on the short bus. fork found in kitchen“

MAYYYYBE ILL ADD SOME SORT OF PLOT :P

Notes:

Everyone needs to put on their thinking caps for this one:

Does anyone know that one jurrasic world series, Camp Cretaceous???? Bc my whole idea is like, yk how the Nublar Six stayed on Isla Nublar for a long time before getting rescued and returning to mainland to finally peruse somewhat normal lives… now imagine that but forsaken 🔥🔥🔥

Chapter 1: Tea Time (EDITED)

Notes:

re wote this bc it sounds like a npc wrote ts aug 29

Scaredy Cats

10:37 pm

 

Chance:

guys…..

how the fuck are we still alive

I just watched Elliot almost get run over bc he didn’t look both ways b4 crossing the street 💔💔

 

Shedletsky:

imagine this is all a dream because we’re ghosts in the after life

 

Noob:

That would be such a lame way to die after all this ._.

Hit by a freaking car . 

 

007n7:

if u were a ghost u wouldn’t have made me pay for ur sandwich last week .

 

Shedletsky:

fuck u my money was in the car

Gosh so greedy

You have MORE than enough money to share around 

 

Two Time:

hey…

Yk speaking of money 

Can someone cashapp me  🙁

pls

pretty please

🙏

 

Chance:

Damn

did u guys  hear somethin?????

😓

 

Shedletsky:

Idk must’ve been the wind 

ANUWAYSSS 

 

Two Time:

SELFISH FUCKS OH MY GOD

I WENT TO PSYCOTHERPAY AND EVERYTBING

AND NOBODY CAN SPARE ME $25 ???

PLEA

IM ACTUALLY BEGGING

 

Shedletsky:

UR CRAZY IF U RHINK IM GONNA CASHAPP UOU A WHOLE TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS

 

Two Time:

apple

pay!???

 

007n7:

😭

How desperate are you?

 

Two Time:

I NEED MONEY :((

guys.

guys. 

Im at tea time buffet and they don’t accept cash 

PLEASE

IDK HOW I EVEN GOT HERE

 

Chance:

hoe

that was your first mistske

Should’ve gone to hot pot

 

Two Time:

Why would I go there alone????

 

Chance:

💔

ME

SHOULDVE TAKEN ME

I LOVE HOT POT!!!!

 

Two Time:

well  i don’t even like hot pot

25 dollars pls

cough it up guys

nicd joke 

 

Noob:

Dw

I’ll do my good deed of the day and send u the apple cash ☺️

 

Two Time:

🤑

Ty

 

Builderman:

Why are all of you guys poor??

 

Shedletsky:

RIGHTTT

not me tho guys!!!

Brokies 🤢

 

Noob:

Ikr!!!

Gosh I hate when the average person doesn’t own million dollar corporation

!!!

God!!!

I just hate avaerage people!!!!!!

 

Chance:

wai

 

Noob:

I hate people in debt!! 

 

Chance:

Man

wonder who that is!!

 

Two Time:

you made me bet my left shoe and than you sold it back to me for $50 

Mh fuckass sketchers 

 

Chance:

haha omg…

who’d do such a thing ..

Capitalism 

 

007n7:

That’s actually poor person behavior

 

-

 

Chapter 2: Strange Horticulture (EDITED)

Summary:

hi future readers, I’m going back and adding characters and editing chapters

-

 

STRANGE HORTICULTURE MENTION!!!! I LOVE STRANGE HORTICULTURE! GO PLAY IT!!!

Notes:

my day at school was so ass tdy that I can’t believe how bad it was 💔

Scaredy Cats

9:34 pm

 

Chance:

SWEET MORHER MARY

DUSEKKAR WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SELL ME

OH MY GOD

 

Dusekkar:

???

Excuse me?

 

Chance:

🤓

This juice thing u made me

You said it was “a mild sleeping tea.”

I JUST WOKE UP TEN HOURS LATER ON MY KITCHEN FLOOR.

WTAF

 

Dusekkar:

Oh

Yeah, that happens.

Specifically with that elixir

Not too sure why 

 

Chance:

????

 

Dusekkar:

Might’ve been the Forest Camphry extract

 

Chance:

MIGHT’VE???

Im so fried

my herbal doctor don’t know shitttttt

3/10

 

Guest:

LMAO

 

Noob:

I want oneeeee

 

Elliot:

nuh uh

DO NOT TAKE DRUGS FROM DUSEKKAR

 

Dusekkar:

It’s a very strong herbal remedy.

Not sure if I would classify it as a drug.

 

Chance:

Nothing abt ts was a remedy ☹️

and im so thirsty too wha

Put that on ur symptoms list bc there is NO reason for my throat to be drier than the Sahara rn

hoky heck

 

Dusekkar:

It’s not a drug.

 

Two Time:

That’s what plugs say before they get arrested btw

 

Noob:

O WANNNNT ONEEE

PELASEEEE

 

007n7:

’Local nutcase caught crushing magic beans’

Ur the next kid on front page news, Noob.

 

Noob:

awe shooo

gonna snort those magic beens 🥰

 

Builderman:

How the hell do you even have a license for your shop

 

Dusekkar:

:)

Whats your slogan again?

Imagination is key?

something like that 

 

Guest:

Good guess… 😭

 

Builderman:

all this work and for what…

 

Chance:

builds u gotta take away that license

mf got a whole plant that GROWLS at ppl

😭

i nearly shit my pants

Guest:

Yeah I think it’d be for the best 

smth in there bit me

Dusekkar:

First of all, you were touching it and you had no business being there

Guest:

First of all, it HAD TEETH..

WHO ACTUALLY OWNS SOMETHING LIKE THAT 

 

Shedletsky:

Its kinda like medieval walgreens 

except it doesn’t have snacks

or any sex toys

and the only thing in stock is rlly weird plants that fuckin stare at u

 

007n7:

I’m SICK of all this hippy dippy herbal shit

Bring back Rite Aid 😕

 

Dusekkar:

I don’t know why you’re talking.

You came by for Candlewood just the other day..

 

007n7:

Oh.

sooo actuallyyy Idk what your talking about

I do not partake in the consumption of hallucinogenic plants!!!

 

Buildman:

So, it IS drugs???

 

Dusekkar:

NO

 

Chance:

ITS LITERALLY DRUGS DAWG

 

Dusekkar:

They’re not.

 

Shedletsky:

Will I get high if I take em???

 

Dusekkar:

Well

I guess that depends

Maybe if you’re stupid enough

 

Elliot:

Ur walking on a thin line bud 😭

 

Noob:

We should ALL go visit Dusekkar’s shady plant shop

 

Elliot:

HEELLOOO???

YOU ARE NOT EATING THEM!!!

 

Dusekkar:

IT’S NOT SHADY

It’s a fine business

 

Builderman:

Um

What are we supposed to do at a plant store?

Stare at leaves??

 

Dusekkar:

God forbid something isn’t a video game 

You should get a plant

It might prevent you from completely losing yourself to pixels

 

Shedletsky:

LOSER

 

Dusekkar:

you should learn from this too

 

Taph:

yeah! learn to eat plants!

 

 

Notes:

ooc is my legal name btw

Chapter 3: Yap Hour (EDITED)

Summary:

don’t question the order 😣

Notes:

elliot collège elliot collège elliot is in college

 

Scaredy Cats

6:51 am

 

Elliot:

▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊|• 07:14

 

Shedletsky:

GOOOD GOD

what could you possibly be yapping about at 6:51 am 😒

 

Chance:

It went from daily 1 min msgs to 7 

it evolved 

 

Guest:

It…

 

Elliot:

I HAD THE TIME

And  I never have time :P

 

Shedletsky:

TOOOOO MUCH TIME 

Three essays and a movie in the transcript .

 

007n7:

Why’s the audio so bad…

It sounds like you’re in a tornado 

 

Elliot:

it was windy outside 😒

Gosh when did everyone become such big haters

all i’ve been reading is COMPLAINTS

 

Chance:

srry

but I can’t understand a single thing ur saying 😭😭

 

Shedletsky:

I am NOT listening to all this

 

Elliot:

OK SO BASICALLY

ok well first 

umm

well idk how to start now

 

Chance:

get listening guys bc ts is abt to take longer than the audio msg

 

Elliot:

Do me a favor and jump off your balcony.

anyways

this morning at 5, the admin @ school sent out an email saying that the animal science class lost a hamster

they said she may or may not respond to the name Susie

and that she’s running around in her hamster ball somewhere

IDK HOW RHEU LOST A HAMSTER IN A BALL

But then they had every class go out and start screaming susie all over campus :/

 

Noob:

OMG A HAMSTER??

IVE ALW WANTED ONE

FIND HER AND GIVE HER TO ME 

I NEED HER

 

Elliot:

sorry to tell you…

but we never found her

it was yesterday btw

I was gonna tell u guys yesterday but I was too tired 

so she’s probably dead. i guess

 

Chance:

NOO SUSIE 💔💔💔

 

Guest:

She might’ve gotten out of her ball

We used to have a hamster @ the house and it’d get out ALL the time 

 

Elliot:

If she did we’re DEFINITELY not finding her

and also last night 

I had to spend five hours picking up sticks

I was so mad

and yk what

im STILL mad

my knees HURT

 

Builderman:

What the hell do you need that many sticks for???  

Are you building a bridge?

 

Elliot:

NO.

ITS BC THE PIZZA PLACE’S PROPERTY IS SO STINKIN BIG

AND WE HAVE TOO MANY TREES

AO AFTER EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN STORM WE NEED TO PICK UP THE STICKS THAT FALL

EXECPT THE STICK GUY WASN’T HERE

AND MY DAD WAS LIKE

”OHHHH IF ONLY SOMEONE SO DILIGENT AND HARD WORKING COULD PICK UP THE STICKS AND MAKE YJE PROPERTY BEAUTIFUL” YA IF ONLY DAD

SO I HAD TO DO IT . 

also he didn’t even pay me for that. 

meanwhile i was supposed to be studying for an exam 😓

 

Shedletsky:

oh hell naw 

they got u working over time for free 😭

workplacd manipulation 

 

Noob:

U can put stick picker upper on ur resume now tho :3

 

Chance:

Mr Builder should go be a man and do manly things not make my pretty princess do it 

 

Taph:

what…

 

007n7:

That’s actually really embarrassing

never say that again 😭

 

Chance:

Wlliot was right. everyone IS a hater

Y’all just can’t match my energy 😒

 

Two Time:

Ya I’m ur biggest hater on insta

 

Chance:

when the fuck did you get instagram.

are you azuresfirsttime123

 

Shedletsky:

DUCKINF HELP ME

 

Two Time:

take a wild guess

 

Chance:

really regretting putting “ifb” on my bio ☹️

 

Builderman:

What in gods name does that mean.

 

Shedletsky:

i follow back 👋🤓

 

Elliot:

am i supposed to??

I haven’t followed 25 ppl back

 

Chance:

bro u didnt eben follow me back💔

making me look like a fan

 

Shedletsky:

That is some chronically online bs

 

Taph:

I see your 212K snap score btw.

 

Shedletsky:

😁

I forgot that was public! Gonna shoot myself 

 

Elliot:

outed by taph 💔

ngl I wish I could do that 

But i can’t afford to dilly dally!!!

 

Noob:

Dilly dally is my full legal name!!!

I do anything but what I’m supposed to be doing ❤️

 

Elliot:

I’m jealous.

ok wait anywahs 

I need to continue transcribing my msg bc you lazy fucks can’t even listen to it

 

Shedletsky:

😎

 

Elliot:

I was talking to mia the other day

abour how they make so many bad jellybean flavors

or maybe i’m just basic

but who’s actually eating dr pepper jelly bean

or  buttered popcorn

They actually make me gag

i need to know ur favorite flavor of jelly bean 

if it’s wrong i’m gonna cry 

 

Noob:

…

im sorry but 

Popcorn

or maybe tutti fruitti 

 

Elliot:

what do you see in popcorn.

 

Noob:

”what do you see”

I don’t see poo

IT TASTE GOOOOOOOOOD

 

Two Time:

Ew what

Ive never had a jellybean

 

Shedletsky:

YOu’RE WEIRD

WEIRDO

 

Two Time:

u forget my past

😒 

also you eat those chamoy food packages from tiktok idk why ur talkin 

Tnose are 75% microplastics

 

Chance:

I LIKE STARBEREY JAM

 

Dusekkar:

coconut

 

Taph:

^^

 

Guest:

Orange

 

Elliot:

what the fuck 

 

007n7:

wtaf is orange

 

Guest:

ORANGE JELLY BEAN

 

Elliot:

ITS FLABOR IS PRANGE???

 

Guest:

ITS ORANGE LIKE THE FRUIT??

 

Elliot:

GOOD LORD

i hate orange 

I like pomegranate

 

Noob:

Wait what

I never heard of that flavor

 

Elliot:

RLLY!???

 

Noob:

where do u get ur jellybeans from

 

Elliot:

the normal jelly bean store

 

Two Time:

IVE NEBER HEARD OF A POMEGRANATE OR STRAWBERRY JAM JELLYBEAN

 

Guest:

”the normal jelly bean store” Please.

ok tbf i dont eat jellybeans

 

Elliot:

they’re the best flavor

Pomegranate

 

Two Time:

ive never tried real pomegranates before

Elliot:

WHAAAAA

 

007n7:

what kind of simulation are you living in where you need to clarify “real pomegranates” 😭

 

Two Time:

not candy land apparently 

 

Shedletsky:

They’re in wonderland 🙏🙏

 

Elliot:

the pomegranate in the cups at the store r good

everyone who’s says they’re not are lying

just the ones straight from the fruit taste better

rlly good

i love pomegranate

 

Two Time:

I can tell

 

Chance:

yk now that I think abt it

Yiur the type of freak who would like cinnamon jellybeans

 

Two Time:

I don’t even eat jelly beans 🙁

 

Builderman:

I like the cinnamon jelly beans

 

007n7:

Me too :)

 

Chance:

Ew

what the freak is wrong w u guys

Tnere is NOTHING to like about Cinnamon jelly beans 🔥

 

Elliot:

I hate when I’m tryna get a cherry jellybean and I get a cinnamon instead.

 

Chance:

REAL AF OMG

 

-

ok

Chapter 4: Break In

Summary:

idk I’m tryna give everyone their own little chapter… 😭

Is it noticeable?

Scaredy Cats

10:10 am

 

Shedletsky:

i hate beatlestwt

why someone posted a huge thread of how exactly they would eat paul mccartney

 

Dusekkar:

Wow, thank you for sharing.

next time, don’t.

 

Noob:

UM WHAR

007n7:

WAIT I FORGOT.

DID YOU GUYS SEE THE NEWS?

 

Noob:

uh oh

 

Two Time:

HUH???

Dunno who u think I am but I do NOT watch the news 😭

 

Noob:

WHAT NEWS

 

007n7:

SOMEONE BROKE INTO BUILDERMAN'S OFFICES.

 

Chance:

WHAT.

 

Guest:

Oh?

 

Builderman:

That was me.

my bad

sorry

 

Elliot:

??????

 

Builderman:

I forgot my work badge and security wouldn’t let me in…

 

Shedletsky:

So basically

you broke into your own building.

 

Builderman:

Correct

 

Noob:

Man.

What the hay??

 

Chance:

You’re literally the CEO

why didn’t you just tell them who you were 😔

 

Noob:

rite.

There is Noooooo reason to be breaking into your own building 😕

 

Builderman:

It was 3 AM

i was wearing sweatpants.

 

Elliot:

Oh my god

U can’t be srs.

 

Chapter 5: Banned

Notes:

guys am I crazy or does Elliot need more skins… I love maining him but I’m just so SICK of seeing the same skins again and again bc they’re the only cute ones (Also why have I only ever seen one person use Tom) :(
I use the cashier skin and my 4th milestone skin for Elliot and I’m sick of them both 💔 Like why am I flexing my maxed out elliot if I STILL can’t aim and always heal the wrong people 😭😭😭😭

Taph JUST came out and I love all his skins 💔💔💔

the survivors r like roblox players to me. yes they can get banned

 

Scaredy Cats

2:41 pm

 

Shedletsky:

Rate the apology guys 😒

Dear Roblox Moderation Team, I am writing to appeal my recent 3-day ban, which I believe was issued unfairly and inconsistently. I take the rules of the platform seriously and understand the importance of fostering a positive community. However, the reasons provided for my suspension do not seem to warrant such a harsh punishment, and I would like to explain why. Looking at the list of "harassment" violations, I find it difficult to understand how some of these phrases justify a ban. For example: "Cap" – A widely used slang term that simply means "lie." How is this considered harassment? "Heh couldn't be me" & "EZ win" – These are common phrases used in competitive gaming environments and are not inherently hostile. "Clearly ur fesh out the womb" – This was not intended to be an insult, just playful banter. "OK UNEMPLOYED CLEARLY" – Sarcastic banter, not an attack. "GET AWAY FURRY" – This was not an unprovoked insult. A user dressed as a furry was engaging in inappropriate behavior toward my avatar, and I was trying to get them to stop. None of these statements were intended to harm or intimidate anyone. I did not initiate hostility, nor did I engage in any form of actual harassment. Given this, I respectfully request that my ban be reviewed and overturned. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your response.

 

Chance:

You did NOT write ts 

”I look forward to your response.” Bitch they are not writing back 😔

 

007n7:

2

 

Shedletsky:

shat up bruh

 

Noob:

IM CRYING

THIS IS SO SERIOUS..

 

Elliot:

How’d you get banned  ._.

 

Noob:

._.

 

Shedletsky:

Dont ._. me ☹️

Idk ig I’m just too cool 

If this doesnt get me unbanned…

Builderman and me r abt to have some major beef 

 

Two Time:

Major beef ☝️🤓

srry everything u say is a joke 

 

Shedletsky:

Okay this actually pmo bc they denied my appeal

I literally didnt do anything wrong especially not THREE DAYS

PLA

BUILDERMAN PLS.

I DIDNT EVCEN SAY ANNYTHING??

 

Builderman:

Rules are rules 

Ty ❤️

 

Chance:

LMFAO 

 

Guest:

said Ty ❤️ like he ain’t just ruin Shed’s life 💀💀

 

Shedletsky:

RUINED MY LIFE IS CRAZY.

But like also yes

 

007n7:

why did u even say “GET AWAY FURRY” 😭😭😭

 

Shedletsky:

Dude was being weird I s2g 💀💀 kept following me around, doing cringe emotes in my face

 

Chance:

It was never that srs

U coulda just turned ur joins off 😭

 

Shedletsky:

No bc why should I be the one to leave???

 

Two Time:

ur so stubborn it’s unreal.

 

Shedletsky:

IM INNOCENT 😡

 

Builderman:

The moderation team disagrees

 

Shedletsky:

Oh my god

Be so for real.

 

Guest:

Can we talk about how professional that appeal was tho??

 

Chance:

Right like “I respectfully request that my ban be reviewed” and they hit him with “Ty ❤️” LMAOOO

 

Builderman:

I read every word btw 😁

 

Shedletsky:

OKAY AND???

 

Dusekkar:

You’re still banned 

 

Shedletsky:

DONT START DUSEKKAR

Can’t believe my downfall is being witnessed like this

💔💔

 

Elliot:

I mean technically you told us to rate the apology so u set urself up.

 

Two Time:

Negative five stars 

 

Dusekkar:

I read the whole thing and I gotta be honest I wouldn’t unban you either 

 

Shedletsky:

Okay now y’all are just haters.

 

-

 

i was gonna add taph but i forgot 👋👋

Notes:

Ily Taph!!

I’ve been using Deep Winter Taph and I love him sm but I’m so ASS at using him… I can tell all the Taph pros r laughing 🙁😕

Chapter 6: Scrapped 1

Summary:

scrapped bit

 

Scaredy Cats

12:45 pm

 

Noob:

I just found a chocolate bunny from Easter 2020

Do I eat it

 

Builderman:

I feel like the answer should be obvious!

 

Shedletsky:

Obvioysly yes!!????

No question

eat it

stream it on insta i wanna watch 

 

Elliot:

DONT EAT IT

 

Noob:

IDK GUYS IT SHOULD BE OK

i mean there’s no mold

 

Two Time:

EAT IT EAT IT

 

Elliot:

WTV U DO DO NOT EAT IT ISTG 

 

007n7:

Do NOT eat that shit Noob 

 

Elliot:

Nvm eat ir

 

007n7:

Eat it

 

Elliot:

Nvm again don’t eat it ❤️

 

Builderman:

YOUR KIDDING…

 

007n7:

Did I do that 😭

 

Chance:

U will NEVER catch El aggreingig with 7

 

Two Time:

wtaf

Howd u fuck up agreeing so bad

 

Noob:

Ok ao

hoq about a litttlllleee comprise here

I’ll eat it later and if I get food poisoning and die do NOT say it was because of the bunny

say something cool 

 

Elliot:

What kind of compromise is this.

 

Shedletsky:

stfu I want him to eat the moldy chocolate 💔

 

Builderman:

For what purpose?

 

Chance:

oh my god the vending machine just ate my money

in gonna kill myself

wtf do i do when i put the money in

 

007n7: 

You don’t know how to use a vending machine…

 

Chance:

nvm i figured it out

i love life

 

 

 

 

Chapter 7: Scrapped 2

Summary:

I keep telling myself I’m gonna play the new forsaken update and then I don’t 😭

 

Scaredy Cats

3:12 pm 

 

Two Time:

french makes no sense

 

Guest:

Well yeah…

You don’t speak french. 

 

Two Time:

WELL IF I DONT SPEAK FRENCH WHY AM I SAYING

THE NOT UGLY VERY CAT IS EATING

 

Guest:

BECAUSE YOU DON’T SPEAK FRENCH

 

Two Time:

YEA I DO

 

Dusekkar:

Oh.

Its the thought that counts

I guess…

 

Two Time:

I SPEAK FRENCH.

TAPH KNOWS

RIGHT TAPH

TAO

PHA

TAPH.

TAPH PLS.

 

Dusekkar:

Even Taph knows that you don’t speak French. 

 

Two Time:

I DO

 

Guest:

Wtv you say 😭

 

Two Time:

furture tense is stuoid everything should be in present

 

Dusekkar:

You say things like this and then you want us to believe you..

 

Two Time:

why am i being assaulted by tenses

 

Chapter 8: Microwave and baby spoon

Summary:

this really goes to show the type of person i am

Notes:

i got hit in the head by a soccer ball

 

scaredy cats

2:15 am

 

Noob:

GUYS

I microwaved a spoon and now the power is out

What the hippy hay do I do :(

 

Elliot:

u have brain damage

 

Chance:

nuh uh

hes got microplastic-based spiritual enlightenment

 

Shedletsky:

Ok wait

what if yoy put milk in the microwave first

like preheated it

and then poured it on the cereal

 

Chance:

you belong in jail.

Oh my god.

 

Builderman:

I want out

 

007n7:

..

 

Taph:

It’s 2am

Who microwaves metal at 2am

 

Noob:

I was heating up my cereal

I didn’t realize the spoon was in there until the microwave started growling at meeee :/

 

Dusekkar:

First of all, you heated up CEREAL?

 

Taph:

Cereal is gross

 

Two Time:

Why is the microwave growling tho

 

Noob:

Idk it made a grrrRRRRRRRRrrrMMMbbbbbTTTTtttt BAMMMM BAMMMM BOOOKM SHHHUU USIAJAHHHHHHHAAAHHH

noise

Is that normal???

 

Builderman:

Let’s put on our thinking caps for this one..

 

 

Chance:

brah u acting like we work at the microwave factory ☹️

Two Time can’t even use a microwave

 

Two Time:

Suddenly it’s a crime to accidentally burn ramen in the microwavs??? 

one tome

 ONE

 

Elliot:

u said “burn” like that thing didn’t come out like a brick

 

Shedletsky:

nah real

last time i visited they handed me a bowl and it fucking clanked

 

Two Time:

OKAY

WELL

it was al dente

 

Guest:

that shit was a LUMP OF COAL

SMOKE EVERYWHERE

ALARM BLARING

I had to use tongs to throw it out.

 

Taph:

woa

 

Shedletsky:

woa

you guys ever notice how Taph disappears for 72 hours then returns with completely unreadable 12-paragraph messages 

like a war criminal trying to justify himself

or smth that isn’t english

 

Taph:

Sorry

I was rereading my psych undergrad assignments

 

Elliot:

what level of autism is reading his old psychology assignments unprompted

 

Noob:

i tried to read once

but then i remembered i have the attention span of a squirrel on lean ☹️

 

Two Time:

yk since we’re all sharinggg..

is this a safe place to say I had a dream where dusekkar gave birth to an ikea

 

007n7:

No.

 

Dusekkar:

Please NEVER be within a 10 mile radius of me.

What the fuck

what does that even MEAN

 

Guest:

that you  pushed out a floor plan

 

Elliot:

he screamed and a meatball display came out

 

Dusekkar:

.

Im just exhausted from knowing you.

 

Noob:

anways!

upon further examination my cereal is BURNT and my spoon is shaking

i think it’s alive

 

Two Time:

you’re a parent now

congratulations on spoon baby

 

Chance:

oh how sweet

yiu guys made life with a  $30 kitchen appliance ❤️

 

Noob:

the microwave made a noise like it was trying to speak 

HWLP ME

 

Elliot:

GIRL WHAT IS HAPPENING..

HUHHH???

 

Noob:

i think i heard the word “beezelbop” or like “garfunkulus”

 

Guest:

Ok garfunkulus is a little crazy now 😭

 

Chance:

did ur spoon bark at you?

be honest 🤩

 

Noob:

it whimpered :(

 

Shedletsky:

idgaf abt ur spoon baby

did the microwave explode

 

Noob:

wdym explode 😇

 

Builderman:

Explode is not an ambiguous word

.

 

Taph:

he means

BOOOOOMMMM BAAAMMM BOOOMAN OH MY NO MY MY MY MY MICRO WAVE NO!!!

 

Noob:

oh ya

then me and my spoon baby exploded the microwave

 

Chance:

Reminds me of that time Two Time fucked up my microwave 

 

Two Time:

Well srry i don’t have one at home 

go buy me one brokie

 

Chance:

IM BOT GONAN BUY U A WHOLE ASS MICROWAVE

GO GWT A JOB

YOU GO BUY IT 

 

Two Time:

Now why would I do that if you have a big fancy one in ur house

 

Chance:

💔

ts pmo 

don’t come over again

ever

 

Two Time:

Too late

open the door 😼

 

Chance:

god. 

 

Dusekkar:

Hi

I want all of you placed into little padded rooms where you can’t touch anything sharp or make decisions

this is not a sweet message.

 

Elliot:

ao cute 

institutionalize meee

 

Shedletsky:

so two times ‘apartment’?

 

Builderman:

You actually might be right w that one

I genuinely feel like I run a psych ward sometimes

 

Noob:

Spoon baby’s first meal 

I gave it almond milk

 

007n7:

listen…

I’m not saying you invented an eldritch entity slash monster

but I AM saying you should move out of the house and salt the foundation

maybe burn the whole thing down too

 

Chance:

bros an expert in demonic babies 

talking like he’s got a phd in demon spoonology

 

Elliot:

he’s projecting

bc his son is a diseased blood clot

with lightning mcqueen crocs and a cold sore

 

Guest:

You’re a bundle of joy until it comes to 7n 

 

Elliot:

he brings out my inner hater 😊

 

Builderman:

i’m genuinely begging

for one moment of peace

just one.

 

Shedletsky:

damn it’s the wind again

Couldve sworn i heard smth

 

Chance:

ya ur write

 

Noob:

spoon baby’s name is “Garfunkulus the Eternal” now

he’s resting in a mixing bowl next to the cookie jar

i gave him a napkin for a blanket :)

 

Dusekkar:

Please get rid of that thing.

please

 

Two Time:

ok but hear me out

what if we raise it

like a group project

we can all be joyous 

and whimsical 

and hold hands and be friends

 

Guest:

What if I don’t want to hold your hand..

 

Taph:

I do

 

Chance:

ofc u do

 

Builderman:

Not in a mean way, but I’m not co-parenting with the people who once caught a raccoon and named it “Percocet with a lollipop emoji”

 

Elliot:

Percocet with a lollipop emoji 💔☹️

I miss her

 

Two Time:

Spoon can be the new percocet with a lollipop emoji 

 

Shedletsky:

EWWWW HOLDINF HANDSAA

YUCKKYYY

🤢🤢🤢🤢

Srry guys but I only hold hands with builderman 

 

Builderman:

what

 

Shedletsky:

when we sign legal documents 

haha

 

007n7:

I honestly thought that the raccoon was scarier than the spoon baby

 

Elliot:

PERCOCET WITH A LOLLIPOP EMOJI???

SHUT

UP

I AM NOT TAKING COMMENTS FROM THE MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE A DISCARDED USB STICK

 

Guest:

so violent all of a sudden

someone missed nap time 😭

 

Builderman:

why am i always the one babysitting the clown parade

 

-

 

😐

Notes:

I swear that last week I absolutely despised pizzaburger, but I woke up this morning and started getting a LITTLE into it 😐

Chapter 9: The hourse is hungey (EDITED)

Summary:

OOC IS MY FULL GOVERNMENT NAME I FEAR Z😎😎😎

Notes:

o wow i rlly like the cricket ambience!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Didn’t add c00lkidd in this bit bc it didn’t seem very appropriate 🤓🤓🤓

 

Edited Aug 30

 

bru i need to go chapter by chapter to change jason’s fuckass name to slasher 😭😭 

 

-

 

Kitchen Nightmares

1:03 pm

 

Slasher:

I just saw this thing on line

If anyone can cook please send me salmon and fettuccine

that looked SO GOOD

 

1x1x1x1:

yk what I just had

I just had stuffed eggplant w zucchini corn and tomatoes and lamb

 

Slasher:

shittt

we got a fine diner over here 😭😭😭

The fanciest place i go is olive garden 

 

1x1x1x1:

Ew what. Olive garden?????

I think I went there once and got food poisoning 

 

Slasher:

😃

Oh wow!

Yeah i’m ngl all their food is horrible

vut im addicted to going

 

1x1x1x1:

you should try making a chipotle chicken sandwich

and grill it

I forget where I saw that but I rlly want one

 

Slasher:

I thought you hated chicken tho

 

1x1x1x1:

it’s just one of those things

 

Slasher:

.

I feel like that was an incomplete thought

 

1x1x1x1:

I want chicken parm

Whys john not responding

does  he hate me

HWLLO???

 

Slasher:

😭

They hate seeing us talk abt food

 

1x1x1x1:

HELLLOO??

John better be getting the nastiest, freakiest, most heaven-sent pussy of his life if he’s ignoring me right now

 

Slasher:

Ok so why was that completely random.

That escalated so fast

Yiu were asking for chicken parm???

 

1x1x1x1:

censor that

 

Slasher:

Sit with your words.

gonna have to take a star away for that one

 

1x1x1x1:

Im about to take all your stars. don’t start 

 

John Doe:

oh hello

 

Slasher:

Hello sunshine!!!!!!!! 🤓

 

John Doe:

Sorry i was disposing of someone

 

1x1x1x1:

oh ok

were they hot

 

John Doe:

only in the fire pit

 

Slasher:

jesus christ

 

John Doe:

Nah i’m kidding I was picking up Jane’s chinese order

 

Slasher:

what her order 

I wanna try chinese

 

1x1x1x1:

you say that but you never try anythint

your diet consists of fries rice chicken carrots potatoes and select fish

 

Slasher:

sorry my slasher cuisine isn’t nice enough for you :(

can i log off

is that allowed

can i leave?

 

1x1x1x1:

no

bexause im hungey

 

Slasher:

Call me crazy but I swear on my momma you told me you just ate stuffed eggplant

 

1x1x1x1:

are u calling me fat

 

Slasher:

If I say yea your gonna orbital strike me 

No

 

John Doe:

Just eat

 

1x1x1x1:

I don’t want to eat alone

I’d rather starve 

 

John Doe:

Good god

dor someone SO hungry you’r rlly picky abt meal times 

You’re already begging us

 

1x1x1x1:

I’m also poor

 

Slasher:

Hey twin 😓

 

1x1x1x1:

John ur the only employed person here

you’re grown and have money

use it

buy me something 

 

Slasher:

I have a coupon for Arby’s

you want that?

 

1x1x1x1:

I’d rather eat glass.

 

Slasher:

my slasher cuisine denied again 😔

 

John Doe:

Ive never had arby’s before

 

1x1x1x1:

Keep it that way

 

John Doe:

Is it that bad?

 

1x1x1x1:

As a well dined person

I swear it’s inedible 

my stomach hurts so bad i’m going to die

 

John Doe:

Is it that time of the month?

 

1x1x1x1:

yo wtf

Tread lightly bc i’m abt to kick u off my spotify premium plan 

Mh one luxury

 

John Doe:

😰

 

Slasher:

John..

I think the horse is hungry 

 

John Doe:

No shit the house his hubgey

hose

hoese 

horse

hungry

 

Slasher:

Fat ass horse

 

1x1x1x1:

REMEMBER WHEN WE USED TO HANG OUT???

AND EAT TOGETHER???

Remember when we were all friends and held hands ??????

 

John Doe:

We’re not friends

 

Slasher:

Ya u might be a little more 

 

John Doe:

Shut ur trap 

 

1x1x1x1:

wow ok

when did we elect the mayor of frown town

ig all those nights spent looking at my ass meant nothibgb 2 u

 

Slasher:

I hate this new era

Bring back ur nonchalantness 1x4 🙁

idk who this new guy is but it craves chicken parm every 3 hours 

 

John Doe:

this guy was never nonchalant 😭

Watching those miniature cooking videos on his ipad at night 

 

1x1x1x1:

my show ❤️

I want chicken parm

 

John Doe:

5 mins

 

1x1x1x1:

BLESSED

 

-

 

A majority of my chapters deal with food :P

 

Notes:

things will b more normal next time maybe :/

Chapter 10: cha cha

Notes:

listen, I thought abt making Dusekkar talk in rhymes or wtv shit he be crackin’ in game, but I am NOT abt to be writing all this riddler riddle me this dr. seuss type stuff ❤️

 

 

scaredy cats

7:28 pm

 

Taph:

i’m hungry

 

Chance:

whyd you read my mind

my atomach wont shut up

 

Dusekkar:

I just watched Taph almost get assassinated by Elliot from across the room via projectile to the head.

It was a container of yogurt melts

 

Elliot:

Js sharing the love guys

 

Builderman:

In the form of calcium-rich blunt force trauma

 

Chance:

omg 😭

And somehow u couldn’t manage to throw food in my direction back at the island 

 

Elliot:

Listen.

I tried my best :P

 

Chance:

U PURPOSELY IGNORE M
ME

 

Elliot:

NO I DIDNT BRUH

I THROW IT AND U IGNORE IT

I WATCHED YOU DOING LOOPY LOOPS AROUND MY DAMN PIZZA

LIKE ITS OLYMPIC FIGURE SKATING

Don’t play. 

 

Chance:

😓

 

Elliot:

You were out there doing pirouettes around my pizza

You made eye contact with the slice

I’ll never forgive any of u 4 that btw

 

Chance:

I was dizzy ok ???

 

Guest:

Lwk miss it when El would throw a pizza and then MISS COMPLETELY

and just turn to me saying “well that was embarrassing..” before running away 

 

Shedletsky:

Gee I miss dying too!!

Super nostalgic of u all

great times 

10/10 experience

 

Guest:

anyways

I’m ordering poke if anyone wants

 

Chance:

pls i will literally beg

i’ll sing

i’ll dance

 

Guest:

alright

but only if u do a little performance rn

 

Chance:

ok hold on

On my way! 

 

Shedletsky:

“On my way!”

☝️🤓

Chance about to hit us with a two-step

 

-

 

Chapter 11: Got Talent?

Notes:

I remember being a roblox talent show WARRIOR

 

scaredy cats

5:07 pm

 

Noob:

im at roblox talent show tech rehearsal on a sidequest

mr builderman  asked me to be a gaffer when i was buying tickets.

so now im here :/

 

Chance:

Anything but working their job 😓

 

Noob:

Erm

I don’t have a job

 

Guest:

Censor that b4 you give El and 7 panic attacks

 

Two Time:

what’s that

gaffer

 

Chance:

its like stage crew

 

Noob:

im working the mics >_>

 

Elliot:

Istg he did that to me too 

buying tickets to the talent show for dusekkar and his bf turned into a builderman unskippable cutscene

I JUST WANTED TO GO HOME

and now

SOMEHOW

im going to fix the mics in between performances for the show tonight and tmr

 

Builderman:

putting you guys to work 

 

Noob:

:/

 

Elliot:

pls you don’t even work.

 

Chance:

but that’s ok

maybe that gets u a spot in like

builderman favorite council or smth 

 

Elliot:

we dgaf chance

unnecessary sidequest💔💔

 

Two Time:

And shedletsky probaby takes up all the spots on the council anyway

 

Noob:

mr builderman was like yeahh we dont wanyt you to pay we want you to be a part of this like ok boi (＋_＋)

 

Guest:

“yeahh we don’t have anyone to do mics and we want you to be part of this”

 

Elliot:

cuz there was only one other girl doing it and i made Mia come with me

AND BUILDERMAN WAS LIKE HESITANT TO ADD HER

WE NEED MORE PPL

 

Shedletsky:

I told yall not to go to that stupid ahh event

sgouldve listened 🤑

 

Two Time:

be so for real

all you said was that u were gonna bomb the location 

vut ur probaby sitting on ur bum at home

 

Shedletsky:

❤️

 

Elliot:

I CANT BREATHE

TGERE WAS THIS ONE GIRL WHO MADE A SONG ABOUT HER EX FRIEND AND IT WAS… EHHH

BUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SONG SHE TALKED AND WAS LIKE “but youre the victim,,, right?” AND THEN JEPT SKNGING

IM CACKLING

 

Shedletsky:

OK GIRL ….

 

Noob:

That was highkey SUPER awkward 🤩

 

Elliot:

bro it was so bad

i was fighting tears

and i was right at the front

 

Two Time:

love the comedy act !!!

 

Noob:

STPP 

 

-

 

ugmmmm so i WAS gonna write more but i got bored

 

Anyway since ur here let me tell you this CRAZY THING (not that crazy) that happened the other day. 

So school is coming to an end alr, we have like 10 days left or wtv— but some kids still feel the need to start the MOST drama ever.

Like the world does NOT revolve around u brah 💔

I was in class mindin my own damn business and then this freak of nature who sits in the back of class starts tweakin the fuck out… Now i wont go into detail bc GOD FORBID that freak finds this some how… Anyway, it started freaking out and there was sooooo much yelling, and it was verbally attacking everyone and causing a whole scene (mind u we were supposed to be taking a test) and then it started individually harassing everyone and then started trauma dumping rlly randomly. And this went on until ten minutes before class ended… AND THEN. (well actually i probably can’t say this so just imagine something else crazy that happens during the same class)

So all that happens and my heart was hammering in my chest and the lady is all like “ok guys!!!! head to class! 🤩” Queen my life was just shortened by twelve years. 

 

Look at me being a drama queen 😭

Chapter 12

Summary:

Jason (tries) to get a job

Whale tea mention
i love whale tea

Notes:

i’m gonna be so real with u guys I didn’t watch any of the Friday the 13th movies all I know is that Jason was a young lad when he droawned and died so he’ll be a little older in here ig 😔 don’t kill me

btw everyone who has an age is aged up a little bit js cuz it makes it easier for me 2 write this random shit down  :P 

 

Kitchen Nightmares

7:36 am

 

Bluudud:

these freshmen asked teacher if he had an hairdryer as a joke and he just pulled one out of his bag

she’s drying her uggs

GUYS WHERE ARE YOU.

 

Jason:

I just woke up

 

Bluudud:

r u for serious

r u not going to school wtf 

 

Jason:

yaaaa

 

Bluudud:

die

die twice 

 

Jason:

Shadows die twice

 

Bluudud:

ur not cute.

 

1x1x1x1:

Go back to your fractions kid

 

Jason:

i have to get ready

and then update mt resume

and go to the mall and start job hunting

FUK my lifeee😭💔

 

Bluudud:

EWWW

 

Jason:

im trying to fit everything on my resume in one page

 

1x1x1x1:

isn’t it good if ur resume is multiple pages…

 

Jason:

i heard somewhere that there cant be too much yapping

so i have to shorten it

 

Bluudud:

i walked arounr the mall the other day asking if anybody was hiring snd i either was told no or to apply online 

 

Jason:

Oh

 

C00lkidd:

that’s rlly super embarrassingh

 

Bluudud:

gst ur ipod having butt outta here brah 💔

 

Jason:

im at this boba place in berry ave theyre printing out an application rn

 

1x1x1x1:

which one

 

Jason:

whale tea

 

C00lkidd:

ONMGGGGGG

PLS WOEK THERE

I LOVE WHALE TEA

ITS SO GOOD

 

Jason:

yes ok

maybe i made a bad first impression because i walked in with goncha

we are ALL getting hired this summer

 

Bluudud:

not me :/

i asked at tours les jours and she just tokd me to email them usinf the business card😒

 

1x1x1x1:

John did that once upon a time and they never responded

 

Bluudud:

😐

 

-

 

 

 

 

i need to stop writing abt food. this is becoming an issue 

Notes:

i finished the blocktales demo 4 the day it came out and now i’m sad again…..

Chapter 13: Myterrous baguette

Summary:

mysterious baguette, if ur out there, I HATE YOU I HATE YOY I HATE YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFEEEEEE

Notes:

guys i am SO cooked for my finals next week 😍

 

scaredy cats

5:23 pm

 

Shedletsky:

ugh guys

 

Dusekkar:

Oh great.

 

Shedletsky:

damnn waiitt

at least let me get my complaint in first 

 

Taph:

😐

 

Shedletsky:

ok ok wai

taph do u remember the guy who joined in mm2 and then stalked us to westbound 

 

Taph:

o ya

 

Shedletsky:

He’s pissing me off so bad

 

Builderman:

what else is new?

 

Shedletsky:

GOSH CANT A GUY COMPLAIN ANYMFOE??

DO I HAVE PERMISSION???

Like yesterday me and taph and Builder played dead rails and he (the random guy) usually plays so I invited him

 

Dusekkar:

”Do I have permission?” and then he continues anyway 

 

Shedletsky:

And then when he joins bro starts complaining 

And he’s like “I gave up calling with my hg to play this”

And I was like yeah then just leave and stfu

But bro did NOT leave

I’d rather call my bsf too like get out 

And then he literally left me behind 

on the train

And everyone was telling him to stop and he didn’t 

And I js left 

 

Dusekkar:

Sorry but this is such a non-issue

 

Taph:

Hes a sensitive guy

 

Shedletsky:

ty toe 

I’m a soft, delicate, lost soul all alone in this terrible world

No frienfs

no famliy

no nearby kfc

 

Builderman:

Ok wrap it up

 

Dusekkar:

Toe???

 

Shedletsky:

brah idk

Ok but it wasn’t even that that pmo

after i left

And was happy in my bath 

Yk with my bath bomb and music 

And then I start getting this notifications 

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

BITCH BEEP

and they’re all Like ohh where did u go where did y go 

Bro SHUT UPPPPPP

WHERRE DO YOU THINK I WENT.

So I left him on opened 

And then he would text 

“Opened”

Alr wrap it up.

Yeah ur on opened shut up

Idk who you think u are bro

We aren’t best friends all of a sudden 

And then he’s completely obsessed with the maam thing 

 

Taph:

Mysterousbaguette :/
I actually didn’t like him at all

 

Shedletsky:

Literally

 

Dusekkar:

Thats not how you spell mysterious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

thus is scrapped 

 

 

Chapter 15: Amy the Yoga teacher

Summary:

hey guys i have a picture

 

kitchen nightmares

10:58 am

 

Bluudud:

guys who tf just sent me “hello”

the fuck

WHO IS THIS

WHICH ONE OF YOU

 

Jason:

So ominous

 

Bluudud:

erm

i responded

i’m a bit worried ngl!

Why did Kelly from yoga class just text me asking for amy the yoga teacher

who the fuck is kelly 😐

 

pr3typriincess:

well who the heck is AMY..

top ten most basic names😍

 

John Doe:

”sorry this is the wrong number”

Thats all

 

Bluudud:

Ok i said:

”I fear I am not Amy. but i hope u are able to book ur yoga class”

 

pr3typriincess:

”I fear…”

BE SOOOO FOR REAL RN 

 

Bluudud:

ong why she sending me paragraphs bro

”Sorry, I think my assistant saved the wrong number. I hope that I didn’t disturb your beautiful day.” 

 

1x1x1x1:

what the melliental 

millennial

 

Bluudud:

TO WHO??

 

1x1x1x1:

both of u

 

Bluudud:

wow

smh just trying to be nice

 

c00lkidd:

what do you know abt being nice?? :/

 

Bluudud:

BRO STFU.

IM PLENTY NICE

I BOIGHT UIU MCDONALDS THAT ONE TIME

 

c00lkidd:

no u bought yourself mcdonald’s and gave me a single fry 😓

 

pr3typriincess:

aeey 

srry that made me giggle

 

Bluudud:

IM ACTUALLY CACKLING

KELLY FROM YOGA JUST OFFERED TO BUY ME COFFEE

see this is what being nice gets you

free fucking coffee

 

1x1x1x1:

i wouldn’t know 😐

ngl i would’ve left her on read

 

John Doe:

We can tell.

 

1x1x1x1:

my mean nature.

thx for stating the obvious jeez

😒

 

pr3typriincess:

I vaguely remember this book 

no david no

and 1x is a freakin david bro

 

c00lkidd:

NO 1x NO 😡😡😡😡

 

1x1x1x1:

all this hate for what guys 

look what it did to me

ol ew that was not meant to be inspirational 

delete that

 

John Doe:

Don’t worry it wasn’t 

 

Bluudud:

“I never thought I could chat with strangers in such an interesting way. This is definitely the happiest thing for me today. My name is Kelly, I’m 39 years old, and you?”

 

Jason:

stop bc rhat is so cute

 

Bluudud:

but she left me on delivered

fuck ass kelly

 

John Doe:

I think she got embarrassed bc she was txting a teen

 

Bluudud:

probs 🙄

 

pr3typriincess:

or maybe she was lesbian and was looking for a woman her age or something 

 

Bluudud:

i missed both boxes 

🤩

 

pr3typriincess:

she DID offer to buy u coffee

 

Bluudud:

tahts tru 

 

c00lkidd:

or she was just being nice

 

Bluudud:

ok mr unassuming

 

Jason:

i have a picture of a dead bat

 

John Doe:

oh.

 

Jason:

dude this whole power outage thing has me roleplaying as a homeless

 

1x1x1x1:

hey! so why did we just skip over that!😊

 

John Doe:

Idk why your talking like you don’t do ts too.

 

Jason:

rightt 😔

 

c00lkidd:

why

 

Jason:

because it was at my door step 

 

c00lkidd:

but why.

 

Jason:

Well why do you love your dad?

 

John Doe:

This is ridiculous. 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 16: scrapped 3

scaredy cats

5:20 pm

 

007n7:

This pmo.

The dunkin was supposed to be open for another hour

and they were CLOSED.

 

Noob:

I would’ve cried

 

007n7:

I shed a tear

 

Elliot:

Dont get mad but it’s kinda a thing that ppl close early when they c u coming their way

 

Two Time:

“Dont get mad but highkey everyone hates u”

shat up

 

007n7:

idgaf anymore 😐

we all die at the end

 

Shedletsky:

oh!

Rlly loving the positive vibes we got going on guys!!!!

yes!!!

10/10 atmophere

 

Chance:

omg ya i love atmophere 🤩

 

007n7:

what is with you and these random ahh yelp ratings bud ?

 

Noob:

guys.

shur up 😭

i just had an interview and i stuttered so bad I sounded like AJ from freakin wonderland system 😭😭😭😭😭

 

-

 

😐 maybe i’ll take all the scrapped chapters and finish them idk 

 

also a big tree fell on my house so ….. idk when i’ll update again 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

Chapter 17: scrapped 4

another scrapped one bc my flight got canceled and i’m stranded in texas 😐

 

kill me slr bro 

 

scaredy cat

3:22 pm

 

Dusekkar:

Sorry, I’m running extremely late.

Very very late

super

late

 

Taph:

very late

he has a bread

unyoasted

in his mouth rn

 

Shedletsky:

srry but eating untoasted break is CRAZY WORK

Thats so gross

 

Chance:

dawg

u eat bread like everyday 

 

Shedletsky:

Ya but not naked.

 

007n7:

”not naked.” 

guys, are we serious???

 

Guest:

taph said u had bread and the only thing I could think of are those gacha mini movie series girlies running late to school w bread in their mouth

 

Two Time:

HOW DO YOY ONIW ABOUT THAT

guys that was my shit back in the day

 

Taph:

STOP

First of all it was a baguette

 

 

Chapter 18: scrapped i forgot how many numbers

 

scaredy cats

9:59 am

 

Noob:

Guys there's this car

Idk what is is

It's not a beetle

It's not like a Toyota

Its like abettle but triangular 

Tiny two seater

 

Guest:

hm😨

 

Noob:

Idk what it is but that's my new dream car

I like tiny two seater

Like beetles

 

Guest:

aww cute

don't beetles catch fire all the time

 

Chance:

Oh

that's kind of rude...

 

Noob:

ikr

its not a beetle though so

it wotn catch fire

 

Taph:

i want a beetle :/

 

Chance:

mmm

uts gonna blow up

 

Taph:

then i'll die in style

 

Chance:

"Hey guys look at my beet-"💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

 

Taph:

what if i blew up your house

 

Chance:

WIAH WHAT.

 

 

Chapter 19: Sh*dletsky

Summary:

1x4 and shed trying to fix things (clickbait)

Notes:

so i got stuck in three states, and a tree is still in my house, and I failed my archery presentation so i need to makeup my gym credit AGAIN….. 🤣🔫

 

kitchen nightmares

12:39 pm

 

1x1x1x1:

Oh my god guys...

Pepto Bismol invited me out for coffee tommorow

should I go??

 

pr3typriincess:

Girl NOOOO

that coffee outing is past due by like

YEARS 😊🖕

 

Jason:

he's BALDING

 

1x1x1x1:

OK

BUT 

hes my dad

 

Jason:

UR GONNA GET KIDNAPPED

BANNED

 

John Doe:

atp just start making the missing person posters already

 

1x1x1x1:

damn ok

make sure to make my pic is the hot ones from insta

 

c00lkidd:

NOOO

DONT DO IT

:(

 

Jason:

1x, when pepto bismol murders you...

well

I TOLD U SO

 

1x1x1x1:

HELP ME.

i lwk miss him

 

bluudud:

no

no

no

 

pr3typriincess:

i would not accept that half ahh apology

I owudo be expecting a 4 course meal at the 5 star restaurant Sazón in Santa Fe

 

bluudud:

why do y have that planned..

 

pr3typriincess:

I’ve been wronged a few times :)

 

Jason:

HE IS THE ADMIN. 

u should tell a trusted adult 👍👍👍👍👍

 

1x1x1x1:

pepto is my emergency contact guys 😐

 

John Doe:

TELL SOMEONE ELSE

 

1x1x1x1:

HOLY

U GUTS R ASKING TOO MUCH OF ME

 

c00lkidd:

GIYS MY PHOEN UPDATED

ITS BEEN AN HIUR

erm

This is scary

 

1x1x1x1:

NO GUYS. 

 

bluudud:

UH

YES.

 

1x1x1x1:

ur brains r like half baked pies istg

you guys don’t get it like i do 😒

 

bluudud:

This is a dangerous obsession 😨

 

1x1x1x1:

NO.

 

c00lkidd:

I will provide you free therapy on Monday just to get you to stop

#hashtagdangerous

 

1x1x1x1:

NONO HE IS MY THERAPY

ok wait

acyually

ignore that one idk why i said that

 

Jason:

Danger: a situation that could/will happen if around unsafe condition

Therapy: getting help

Therapy : not pepto bismol

they're different 😘

 

1x1x1x1:

STOP. 

THIS IS HATE GUYS. 

 

John Doe:

BO IT ISNT

THIS IS US TRYING TO HELP YOU

 

1x1x1x1:

I changed my mind i don’t want help

 

John Doe:

HE ASKED YOU FOR COFFEE.

OHTSIDE WORK HOURS

ABOUT NON WORK

 

bluudud:

banned u once, bro will ban you TWICE

 

1x1x1x1:

HE SAID FREE DAY

FREE PAY

 

pr3typriincess:

ill send an appeal dw 😋

 

c00lkidd:

NO

NO

NO

NO

 

Jason:

kid is ptsd-ing rn

 

1x1x1x1:

so based on the crowds reaction

i think ill tell pepto yes 

 

pr3typriincess:

oh girl.

 

Chapter 20: he looks like he growls

Notes:

can someone guess the fic…

 

scaredy cats

5:13 pm

 

Dusekkar:

So I did NOT take Noob as a fanfic writer but I just saw her writing the most atrocious piece of literature I ever read.

 

007n7:

wait what

I want to see

 

Noob:

GUYS.

it’s an mcr crackfic i’m writing w my oomf

 

Dusekkar:

the comments have people who just read the best piece of literature in their pitiful lives.

this is disturbing

 

Twotime:

what could u have possibly written abt dawg

 

Noob:

its about mikey being addicted to vaping

 

007n7:

what

 

Noob:

and gerard being a 2020 kid

he barks at ppl in the halls

 

007n7:

oh!

 

Noob:

theresa acene where his tail gets yanked

in the halls

and he geowls at them

 

Guest:

send ts to me

I need to see this with my own eyes.

 

Noob:

ok ok wait

dms

oomf wrote the actual nice writing parts and i mostly did dialogue

 

Guest:

Oh I’m scared

I’m scared to press the link

im doing it

 

Dusekkar:

Im sending you prayers. 

 

Twotime:

what flowers do u want at the funeral

 

Guest:

uhmmmm

I fw lilacs ngl!

 

007n7:

can we get a live Guest reaction

 

Guest:

ya

the writing is lwk really good

i have no idea who’s who 🩷

what’s even happening

is there something wrong with pete

why is he special 

 

Noob:

Yes

jes a liytle Special❤️

 

Guest:

Ok so 

did they have sex one time or smth

 

Noob:

it was a handjob at a party and now hes delulu

 

Twotime:

what tha hellllll

 

Guest:

Atop bc pete kinda reminds me of you Two

 

Twotime:

EWWWWSTOP

 

Guest:

Pete…

he needs to be put down 

this is like that one game

 

Noob:

clas of 09

 

Guest:

Im gonna assume that’s right

 

Noob:

gerard is just jeffery

 

Guest:

Whos gerald

 

Noob:

the one playinf dnd

 

Guest:

oh i just got to that 

i was so confused

i feel like i’m in a dream and keep waking up in a dream like 10 times 

I’m absolutely horrified

A bomb needs to be strapped to pete’s back

oh my god

there’s fanart

i’m scsred

OH M YGOD

OG MY GOD

 

Noob:

Sid you enjoy? ☺️

 

Guest:

Well

uh

 

007n7:

He’s speechless 😭

 

Guest:

I’m in shock

 

Twotime:

HES DEAD YOU KILLED HIM

 

Noob:

I ONLY WROTE THE DIALOGUE IDK WHAT U WANT ME TO DO

 

Guest:

The dialogue was the worst bit

 

Noob:

💔💔💔💔

 

 

-

 

 

if we got any transformer fans here, I started a highschool au fic w starscream as the main character. It includes a bunch of other characters that I don’t think get a bunch of content, like blurr, deadend, Astrotrain… it only has two chapters atm but the third is on the way trust….

“—okay, yeahhhh, but if I was a 19th-century industrialist, I would’ve invented child labor, too,” Deadend was saying to Astrotrain as he entered class. “Like, those little bastards have small hands. They can reach into all those little gears and crevices.”

Starscream pinched the bridge of his nose. “Please. Please don’t let me hear you say that when someone’s recording.”

“I’m just saying what we’re all thinking!”

“No one is thinking that except you,” said Elita from behind them.

“You’re all haters. Excuse me for using that thing in my skull.”

Elita rolled her eyes. “That ‘thing’ looks like a deflated basketball.”

 

aren’t i good at marketing??? If u guys want i can also do one 4 forsaken :3

 

Chapter 21: me me time

Summary:

noli next chapter

that forsaken update pmo bc NO TAPH MILESYONES AND BARELU ANY TAOH SKINS WTFFDDDDD 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 

 

im kidding.

I love that skin that gives taph a red hat. i have no idea what it is but i love it and idgaf

 

 

scaredy cats

2:38 am

 

Elliot:

i can’t sleep :(

 

Chance:

Okg twin… ❤️

Neither can i

 

Elliot:

i’m supposed to be awake in two hours

i need to die alr.

Chance:

IM SUPPOSED TO IN 3

how cooked are we

🤣🔫

 

Elliot:

we js might be cooked.

I NEED TO DIE.

I don’t wanna go to work tmr so imma hide my moms car keys ❤️

 

Chance:

calliou type shit

u can’t drive???

 

Elliot:

ya it’s actually rlly embarrassing.

My dad was tryna teach me once upon a time

the first time he made me cry bc he kept yelling at me 

and then i told my mom and he got mad at ME for telling her

 

Chance:

it’s ok queen u can do it❤️

run over animals ❤️

 

Elliot:

ok but the real reason i don’t drive at my grown age is bc once i was driving on the road

practicing

and a snow plow hit me and i almost dief

I think im traumatized

 

Chance:

UHMMM RANDOM LORE DROP??

HELLLOOO?

RED ALARM???

 

Elliot:

sometimes i feel like i live in a cartoon

 

Chance:

uhggghnmmm

If it makes u feel better

I used to eat legos ☺️

kije the big long bricks

I swallowed them whole

 

Elliot:

what.

 

Chance:

WHEHH

Don’t pretend u didn’t eat weird shit when u were a kid too

 

Elliot:

oh yaaa

I ate two little magnets once and we had to go to the er

 

Chance:

alr bro save some mc events for the rest of us 💔💔😓

ok i’m locking in 

trust me i’ll be asleep at 2:50

 

Elliot:

OH

YES LOCK IN

I will too 😼

wait i need to pee

 

Chance:

Why is this so real

 

Elliot:

soilmayes :P

 

Chance:

Cant belive ur my soilmayes 💔💔💔💔💔

 

Elliot:

dude my skin picking problem is so bad

idk how i got it

but the skin on my hands is all bad

and my lips

 

Chance:

stop 🛑 

 

Elliot:

*£¥

HOLY HZIR

NOT

WAY

YOU JUST DIXED IT

 

Chance:

heh…

Anytime cutie 😎

 

Elliot:

die

It’s 12:50

2:50

 

Chance:

LOCK IN IDIOT

 

Elliot:

MEEE????

Y am i even trying 

 

Chance:

Im giving you

untile 3

 

Elliot:

deadline to be sleeping 💔?? 

 

Chance:

Sleep little baby don’t say a word…..

 

Elliot:

Im appalled. 

 

Chance:

goodnight sleepo!!

 

Elliot:

omg i’m so hot

whys it so hot.

 

Taph:

hi

 

Chance:

hello taph….

 

Taph:

burning bud in stock

 

Chance:

OMG

BRB

 

Elliot:

gag addiction in its final stages 😐

 

Taph:

im laughing so hard rn

i lied.

 

Chance:

IM KILLING YOU.

HOLY SHIT

TAPH

 

Elliot:

IM GIGGLING

 

Taph:

He fell for it 😭

 

Chance:

I ACTUALLY JOINED THE GAME

WHY ARE TOU AO EVIL

 

Elliot:

U HOPPED ON SO FAST

 

Chance:

I SAW NOT IN STOCK AND I WAS LIKE

🤣🔫🔫

 

Taph:

Im never gonna forget tgis

 

Chance:

STOP JT EIGHT NOW

 

Elliot:

Im goin 2 tell mia 😭

ok for real i’m going to bed

Gn

 

Chance:

OKAYYY GOODNIGHT I LOVE U

 

Elliot:

ILYT

 

Chance:

🥰

 

Taph:

I hope burning bud is in stock and u doesn’t  get it 

 

Chance:

wow….

wheres this hating coming from

 

Shedletsky:

it was alw there

frrakin g*ys blowing up my phone when i need my beauty sleep

🤬💔

 

-

 

 

Chapter 22: 1x4 is employed guys everyone cheer up and down and clap and jump for joy and touch the ground and blow the horns and throw the confetti and scream with joy as they fuck u doggy style wait who said that delete that you dumb fucking Zidopt iIDOT IDIOT YOY

Notes:

roblox waterpark mention

do i start ap lang work today 😓 Is huckleberry finn THAT bad

 

kitchen nightmares

9:40 am

 

1x1x1x1:

Can someone pick me up 

robloxian wayerpsrk 

they have me doing attendance for the 3 kids learning to swim 

this one slavic couple and their kid asked to just pay and go in… um girl hate to tell you this 

i had ti call my manager because i forgot when the pool opened

 

Jason:

Girl

😭😭😭

 

1x1x1x1:

WHAT???

ive just been sitting here spacing out until someone comes

 

John Doe:

u coulda google searched that 

 

1x1x1x1:

I AM NOT GOOGLING ON THE JOB

 

John Doe:

CALLING YOYR BOSS IS WORSE

OH MY GOSH 

 

1x1x1x1:

She could have google searched too :/

also i didnt know where to direct that couple to get admission

cuz ive never been here

 

c00lkidd:

I used to go there alllllll the time w my dad :3

But we stopped going cause BLUUDUD WOULDNT STOP TRYING TO DROWN ME

 

bluudud:

IDK WHAT U WANTED ME TO DO HRO

U WERE TOUCHING MY FEET LIKE SAND LOUS

 

Jason:

Wait stop I’m actually afraid of sand lous 

 

pr3typriincess:

me too 🥰

 

1x1x1x1:

the spot imma usually be at is selling park passes and she said the chair i sit on is like the argument chair because old people come and try to argue with you when you say they have to give evidence that theyre a veteran

 

c00lkidd:

do vets get free access?

 

1x1x1x1:

I guess 

First day of the job and I argued with five elderly people  😇

 

Jason:

Aweee

you’re in your goody two shoes era

only five people at 10 am ❤️

 

bluudud:

wai what’s ur job again

 

1x1x1x1:

selling the pool passes @ robloxian waterpsrk

It’s so dead here that I swear only old people go

 

bluudud:

do u need to wear clothes?

 

John Doe:

…

 

1x1x1x1:

Well yes.

For any job. 

 

pr3typriincess:

BLU WHY ARE YOU SO SPEd 😐😐😐

 

bluudud:

I MEANT SPECIAL CLITHES

 

1x1x1x1:

no

 

Jason:

is it nice out

 

pr3typriincess:

It isn’t that hard to open the door. 🤩

 

1x1x1x1:

yea but idk cuz im in the office

its all jolly outside like it wasnt flooding yesterday

guy iust came in and said it was hot

kill me

summer is actually the worst season and I’m willing to die on the ship

 

pr3typriincess:

I’ll die with you??!!!!

I hate summer because I hate mosquitoes

IM THE NUMBER ONE MOSQUITO HATER

 

1x1x1x1:

some guy just called and said “are there lounge chairs at the pool!” girl idfk

go there and see for yourself

 

Jason:

How fast do you want to get fired???? 😭

 

 

Notes:

i said noli next chapter but i forgot about noli

noli next chapter guys
trust

Chapter 23: scrapped 7

Notes:

hey gng wsp

i beat my ass trying to update my other fics meanwhile i haven’t started my ap work how cooked am I

 

Noli tdy.

H h h i my name is noli

and i am

8 years old

and i kike

purple

 

im being so for real i haven’t read any noli lore so idek who this guy is 😭😭😭😭😭 FAKE FAN you all chant. 

 

kitchen nightmares

12:05 pm

 

pr3typriincess:

Is anyone here actually capable of doing numbers

 

Jason:

no ❤️

 

bluudud:

well

Doe does 1x4 if you wanna count that 

 

pr3typriincess:

Cute! Can we normalize not sharing that! Thanks! 🥰

 

Jason:

I stand with your presidency 

 

pr3typriincess:

Thank you Vice President!!

 

bluudud:

since when did we have a gc president

 

pr3typriincess:

since forever dumbo!

 

John Doe:

I fear this administration wasn’t democratically elected 

 

pr3typriincess:

Do you know how to do math??????

 

John Doe:

Yes?

 

pr3typriincess:

Help.

I got signed up for freaking kumon .

Im 25 pages behind and i dont know what im doing :(

 

c00lkidd:

NOWAYYYYYY

ACTUALLY??? :0

 

bluudud:

kumon at ur big age 😭

 

pr3typriincess:

I’m new to the double digits still.

And I KNOW you’re not talking considering you are enrolled in CONCEPTS math.

At YOUR grown age

 

bluudud:

☹️

 

c00lkidd:

Better get studying 🤓

 

Jason:

Tough pill to swallow

can’t relate tho!!!

 

pr3typriincess:

I DIDNT BELIEVE THE KUMON THREATS AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED 😒😒

 

John Doe:

What math is it

 

pr3typriincess:

multiplication…

Im in the trenches, Im telling you 

Timer and everything 

 

John Doe:

Oh that’s easy dw

I can help you :)

 

bluudud:

I TOLD U GUYS THAT HE DOES 1x

I’VE BEEN SAYING.

john doe out here doing 1x4 on the regular

since 2017

this is his olympics

 

Jason:

You need to be put down 

 

-

 

Im more likely to eventually finish this than the other ones i think 

 

anyways go look at my tumblr post because I SWEAR on my grave that there’s a vision 

 

https://www.tumblr.com/lemonsleaf/790364856074338304/forsaken-fandom-yall-need-to-hear-me-out-on-that

Chapter 25: u r what u eat

Summary:

i had fun writing this in my head but it’s not funny irl 👵

 

scaredy cats

10:23 pm

 

Dusekkar:

Hello.

I just wanted to make sure that everyone was aware that JOHN SHEDLETSKY dips chicken nuggets in cola.

At wendy’s.

 

Chance:

BROTHA WHAT 😭😭

 

Builderman:

Oh yeah…

 

Chance:

No.

No “oh yeah…”

That is heinous

Holy.

You got me clutching my pearls bro

I don’t even got pearls

 

Builderman:

I dunno It’s not the worse thing.

His bedtime snack is cheetos puffs in milk 

 

007n7:

EXCUSE ME??

 

Chance:

what… ☹️

in…???????

 

007n7:

Like cereal?

 

Dusekkar:
I fear someone is going to court for this

 

Chance:

Thus is some scooby doo type stuff bro

 

007n7:

Does it eat the sticker on the apple?

 

Dusekkar:

Hes actually severely allergic to fruit

and vegetables

 

Chance:

im throwing up

im peeing

im throwing up again

i need to hold someone’s hand

 

Builderman:

you ever look at a man and go “I could fix that”

 

Chance:

Builder

My wonderful

WONDERFUL

gorgeous Builder

you CANNOT fix him 😭😭🔫

Thats like tryna get twotime to stop getting it w Azure

 

Dusekkar:

Oh.

 

Chance:

Im being so deadass

I was walking back from my grandma’s funeral and I was passing by their house so I’m like

”ok yk what, let me say hi.” cuz last time we saw eachother i accidentally ran them over with my new ATV

 

007n7:

wwur what. 

 

Chance:

and tell me why 

I get on the PORCH

AND IM HEAR THEM GOING

AGGRESSIVELY

LIKE WHA

IF SOMEONE FACETIMEs ME ILL START REENACTING TS BRO

NO WAY THEY GONNA B THAT LOUD 🤬

ITS 2PM ON A TUESDWY

 

Builderman:

☠️

How does one even recover in that situation??

 

Chance:

i left a text and RAN

Wgich by the way, TWO RESPONDE WITH 😳 LIKE WERE BOTH NOT IN OUR TWENTIES

Also I think it’s relevant to mention that 2Time gets called “T”

 

007n7:

Well.

I was gonna say that T isn’t even a nickname but I get called 7. 

 

Chance:

U can’t moan “T” and have it sound sexy…

that’s a consonant 

 

Dusekkar:

Did he mean tea

As in.

Spilling it?

 

Chance:

Who’s millennial auntie is this 

They’re spilling something

It ain’t tea

 

Builderman:

I hate it here

 

007n7:

we need to go become monks

 

Chance:

Do they have wifi

 

Builderman:

I ASSURE you, Chance has no idea what a monk is.

 

Chance:

ya lol

anyways I wasn’t tryna get dragged into a side quest

I was still wearing my funeral shoes 😭

 

007n7:

DID U THINK THE SIDE QUEST WAS GONNA B A THREESOME????

 

Chance:

yiy never know 😐😐

anythint can happen 

Remebwr that

buttergly efffect or sum

 

Dusekkar: 

Not butterfly.

 

Chance:

red rope theory

 

Dusekkar:

😐

 

Builderman:

”you never know” he says, while being in a committed relationship 

 

Chance:

NOT THAT I WOULD CHEAT ON MY OTHER HALF

7 u fumbled BAD 🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

Dusekkar:

You know sometimes I think Shedletsky is the weird one in this group

And then Chance tells a story

 

Chance:

and you’re the guy who dips chicken in coke

Don’t throw stones in your soda nugget house 😒

 

Dusekkar:

That was JOHN.

NOT ME.

DON’T YOU DARE DRAG ME DOWN WITH HIM

I eat like a normal person. I season my food. I drink beverages SEPARATELY

 

Chance:

This is the guy that owns the illegal hippy dippy plant store btw

 

Builderman:

That’s not even THAT bad tbh

 

Chance:

Builderman you gotta stop defending the irredeemable

Okg wait

Yiu guys know how people make yaoi of the countries

like the people who post on tumblr 

russia x america 

 

Dusekkar:

My case stands.

WHERE ARE WE GOING WITH THIS

 

Chance:

NO BUT U GUYS KNOW RHAT RIGHT???

 

007n7:

I searched it up and had a physical reaction

 

Chance:

hopefully it wasn’t a boner

anwhwqys image that

tbe human countries

but Stockholm Syndrome

Thats builderman

 

007n7:

YOU’RE irredeemable

 

Chance:

DAWG AND WHAT R U 😭😭😭😭

 

-

Chapter 26: Holy Noly !!!!

Summary:

does anyone fw the band ghost 🤩🤩🤩 I’m having rlly bad post ritual depression since i saw them on 7/19

Notes:

”TEAM COMEDY NEEDS TO LOCK TF IN 🤬🤬” I say with my 15 deaths and 1 assist

 

I such ahh at phighting, so sorry team comedy 😭😭😭 Trust me, I’m TRYING.

what even is niki lore. I’ve played forsaken like twice since he came out bc i everytime i c him in game my head implodes and my eyes melt out of their sockets

 

The addition of noli

adding new characters is kinda awkward i fear bc i am NOT abt to make a whole ahh plot abt joli pulling up considering I have this goofy JW camp cretaceous/chaos theory AU goin on 👵

 

kitchen nightmares

6:09 am

 

1x1x1x1:

what is nolan and why is it tryna follow me on instagram

 

John Doe:

Hi

Good morning

Hello

Hi

 

1x1x1x1:

wait ew why is it posting abt c00l’s dad

 

John Doe:

Hello

Good morning

 

1x1x1x1:

Who is this bot

 

John Doe:

Hi

 

Jason:

I think he wants a good morning back 

perhaps

 

1x1x1x1:

good morning john 

 

John Doe:

hi!

 

1x1x1x1:

istg Doe has different personalities

ugh wait

WHOS MOLI 

:9 i

do i accept the follow request 

 

Jason:

ugmmnn

ygg

uhmmmm

ouh

sure!

 

1x1x1x1:

how do i learn bass guitar 

 

c00lkidd:

Shouldn’t you be at work?

 

1x1x1x1:

🙁

um anyways

 

Jason:

Doing everything BUT her job 😭😭😭

 

1x1x1x1:

c00lkidd who’s niki and why does it post abt ur dad on instagram dot com

 

c00lkidd:

Ohg.

Him n my dad were bsf i think

I THINK

i dunno tho!!!!!!!

 

1x1x1x1:

“Sometimes you’re not in love, you’re in psychological warfare with a narcissist”

I WONDER WHO THIS IS ABT 😭😭😭😭😭

 

John Doe:

Gee…

I wonder.

 

c00lkidd:

:P

Ya it was a whole thing

a saga, even

Idk much abt it

 

1x1x1x1:

I’m so bored that I’m stalking 07’s ex on insta :/

 

Jason:

bros employed and STILL bored

 

1x1x1x1:

❤️

i was reading a bad review abt Robloxian Waterpark and it said its turned ghetto and a big group of men came but they didnt even say anything they did just thay they were there

 

John doe:

PUBLIC POOL TURNED PUBLIC. WAS OPEN TO PUBLIC!!!!!!! 0/10

 

1x1x1x1:

Literally

and theres a ton where its jusy ppl mad that you cant come if ur not from robloxia city 

 

c00lkidd:

wait rlly

I didnt know that!

 

1x1x1x1:

you can be accompanied by a robloxia resident though

 

Jason:

why would people wanna go to roblox wp

 

1x1x1x1:

rights it sso ass

someone said they got turned down after driving an hour

 

John Doe:

an hour for robloxia water park is an hour too much 😐

 

Jason:

i just saw a body bag on the side of the road

 

John Doe:

Sorry what

 

Jason:

😓

wasnt me

 

1x1x1x1:

HOW DO I LEWRN BASS GUITAR

 

John Doe:

JUST GO TO WORK AND DO YOUR JOB X

 

1x1x1x1:

I HATE MY FUCKIN JOB

 

c00lkidd:

Noli knows

I think

If u wannnaaaa

Yk

 

1x1x1x1:

lwk ya

im SO bored 

 

-

 

kitchen nightmares

8:38 am

 

Jason:

we live in a time where randoms get added to the chat

thiught we had a bond guys <\3

tbis hurts

 

John Doe:

Um no not really

 

Jason:

Yea you say that meanwhil u were 12 inches inside 1x last wednesday at 3:46 pm

 

1x1x1x1:

YO WTAF

HOW DO U INOW ABOUT THA

 

John Doe:

THAT LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENED

STOP MAKING SHIT UP

 

Jason:

idk guys it was pretty loud and clear to me

hlw long r u gonna fight the allegations

 

Noli:

Whatz.

 

Jason:

Fuck ass random.

Doesnt know the lore 

 

1x1x1x1:

NILAN😭😭😭😭😭

 

Noli:

When do I get my name privileges

 

1x1x1x1:

when u get over ur bad breakup 

 

Noli:

sybau kid 😭

 

1x1x1x1:

“ur partner won’t cheat but will fail to realize they’re inconsiderate and unappreciative”

This was almost a decade ago btw

 

Noli:

you’re a little hoe

I see that birthday post.

Birthday kiss

 

Jason:

OMG RIGHT

QND THEN JOHN SWEARS THEYRE NOT A THING

 

John Doe:

WELL IT WAS THEIR BIRTHDAY

 

Noli:

DOESNT MATTER IT HE WAS THE BIRTHFWY BOY

FUCKING WHORE

 

John Doe:

WELL ACTUALLY IT DOES BC IT WAS THEIR BIRTHFAY KISS SO IT DIDNT COUNT

 

Noli:

DONNNNNTTTT CARE

IT COUNTS

 

John Doe:

SHUT UPI

WHO INVITED THIS GUY 

 

c00lkidd:

Oh nah

 

Noli:

oh It’s you 

 

c00lkidd:

ih heyyy….

hey

😓

so

hiws the weather been????🤩

 

Noli:

Um

pretty good idk.

 

c00lkidd:

yeag

👍

ok

 

Jason:

Im trying rlly hard not to laugh. 

 

-

 

 

 

follow my tiktok guys pls pls pls 😐🔫 i promis ill post super cool things trust https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8kHqjJb/

 

EDIT:

BRUH WHOEVER SAW MY DRAFTING NOTES WHEN THIS UPDATE WAS FIRST RELEASED…. FORGET U SAW THEM 😭😭

 

 

i’m officially a taph main sorry elliot

 

also “noli’s instagram posts” r real posts

 

i promis u this song is good i pinky pronoms https://open.spotify.com/track/5LA5Qhk8UYBHBaqjwqtHDz?si=NzVaGP7LQVeRcISJBnTUig

Notes:

head cannon that whenever positivity is directed @ 1x they momentarily shrink in size

Poly plays guitar

they call me the director coolbeans🤓😎

ok i actually need to be put down/ Euthanize me 😭😭😭😭😭

Chapter 27: !!!

Summary:

“nobody is gonna pay attention”

“hey! be positive!”

“ok well i’m POSITIVE nobody’s gonna pay attention!”

Real life interaction btw 😓

H ih ih uh ubb!!!

 

HI!!??

 

Jusy wanted to let u guys know that this chatfic will b going on a short hiatus for 4 reasons

 

1) I’m stupid and left all my AP work for Aug

2) I need to seriously work on and finish up the manuscript for my book

3) Update the other fics i left for dead

4) family issues 😓🔫

 

it’s not that deep tbh but I am feeling very overwhelmed ^_^

 

Ill probably be back b4 the school year starts or right after it starts… sooooo I hope u guys have a super cool time with the rest of summer/the beginnings of your school year :3 lock in guys and may that 4.0 find u

 

“I’m alw open to chat on tumblr, tt, discord, rblx, (pretty much everywhere) js ask” I say while also being extremely introverted😐

 

but srs just ask, bc once upon a time, i had a reader stalk me and track me down to all my socials 😭 was kinda weird

 

And I’m also open to any requests whether it be chapter ideas for this one, any of my others, or entire fics incase anyone wants to drop a bomb 🥰

Chapter 28: Rations

Notes:

the regretrvator brainrot came back to me after i found the L and K shorts on TT. WTFFFFF I LOVE LAMPERT 😓😓😓

“guys i swear im not a weirdo!!!!” i scream while being the author of SEVERAL roblox forsaken fanfiction and robot romance

lalalalala lalalaa

 

here r some rations for yous.. i leave again 

 

scaredy cats

1:12 pm

 

Taph:

is it a fursona if i wish i was a fish

 

Two Time:

What even is a fursona ❤️

 

Taph:

Idk :/

 

Two Time:

All i know abt furries is that they get bullied online and that there’s a girl who use to crawl on all fours at the monastery

 

Taph:
I love koi fish.

I saw some at a garden center with Duse and I can’t stop thinking about them

 

Two Time:

my neighbor has a koi fish pond and they’re the cutest things ever :(

 

Shedletsky:

Ummmm

 

Two Time:
‘Oh great.

 

Shedletsky:

oh hello!

 

Two Time:

hi…

 

Shedletsky:

why did i JUST find out 

that 

john FUCKING DOE

IS FUCKIBG

1x

WHATAF 😭😭😭😭😭😭

 

Two Time:

😰

suprise!!!

 

Noob:

^^

 

Dusekkar:

This is news to you?

 

Shedletsky:

CLEARLY BRO.

WHAT THE FUCK

DID U KNOW!???

 

Dusekkar:
I thought everyone knew??

 

Taph:

Yes!

 

Shedletsky:

Stfu taph 😭

I can’t believe I didn’t know. Omfg

 

Elliot:

How did you not know…

I thought u guys made up and everything 😐

 

Chance:

Shed thinks he’s too nonchalant for 1x 💔💔

 

Elliot:

And not even to be mean but even 07 knows what c00lkidd is doing at all times :/

 

007n7:

Guys this might be a moment in history right here.

 

Guest:

Congrats 😭

 

Noob:

ILLPRINTTHIS OUT 😊😊

 

007n7:

:)

 

Shedletsky:

All u guys srs need to think abt blowing ur brains right here right now

IM SCARED

HELP.

THIS IS SO AWKWARD. DO I BRING IT UP?

 

007n7:

How’d you find out??

 

Shedletsky:

SEE…

The thing is

 

007n7:

He didn’t tell you?

 

Shedletsky:

No… 😓

 

Guest:

Oh that IS Awkward…

good thing my daughter loves me enough to tell me things ☺️

 

Shedletsky:

🤬🤬

ok so basically.

I was walking my merry way down the road bc i felt like pilfering pirates

 

Dusekkar:

Walking?

Are you sure this is real?

 

Shedletsky:

FML

Hello all, I just wanted to address some things. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and I realize that some of my past actions were really hurtful. I specifically made jokes and comments at the expense of others that crossed the line into bullying. That is   not okay, and I take full responsibility for that 

 

Chance:

Dropping the notes app apology 😭

 

Shedletsky:

I did not intend to cause harm but I understand that intention doesn’t erase my misyakes . I am truly sorry to those I hurt.

Thank you 4 ur time

 

Noob:

This made water go out my nose

 

Chance:

OH!

 

Shedletsky:

ok so as I was saying

 

Two Time:

Wait don’t start yet

I need to get my charger.

 

Shedletsky:

😐

so how have you all been?

 

Chance:

WELLLL SINCE UR ASKINGGGG

AWFUL

NETFLIX IS REMOVING BAND OF BROTHERS

 

Noob:

WOAH WHAT :0

SERIOUSLY?????

 

Chance:

YES BRO.

WHAT AM I AUPOOSED TO WATCH ON REPEAT NOW 😕😢

 

Noob:

The pacific?

 

Chance:

THEYRE REMOVING THAT TOO

 

Noob:

]_*

awe whatttt

I HAVENT SEEN IT YET 

I heard it was good tho

 

Chance:

IT IS

DO IT WHILE U HAVE THE CHANCE 💔💔

 

Noob:

ok chance chance!

 

Chance:

i may be inconsolable

 

Guest:

Netflix isn’t that good anymore tbh

I haven’t been able to find anything good to watch

 

Elliot:
‘I think the last good thing i saw was electric state before my freakin dad kicked me off the family plan ☹️☹️

 

Guest:

Oh that one was good

I saw it a while ago

Charlie cried

 

Elliot:

me too 😞

 

Chance:

i’ll invite u 2 my neyflix 🥰

 

Elliot:

Omg thx 

 

Two Time:

hi

 

Shedletsky:

Finally.

ANYWAYS

I was walking my merry way down the road

and I look across the street

bc idk 

it felt like a force

like echolocation 

 

Dusekkar:

What in god’s name are you talking about

 

Shedletsky:

Im getting to ittttt

ao i look across the street

and I see John Doe

And in a rare moment of me feeling neighborly and kind, I decide to J walk to go say hi to him 

cuz i was under the impression that he was 1x’s bsf

And idk why it took me walking into the store to realize he was looking at RINGS.

AND WE TALKED.

AND .

UEAH.

 

Chance:

ok that is REALLY AWKWARD 😭

How r u that out of the loop

 

Noob:

Aren’t Jane n John together tho „O_o„

 

Shedletsky:

Its a V type thing apparently 

Idk and idgaf

 I WASNT AWARE OF ANY OF TS 💔💔💔💔💔

 

Elliot:

You learn something new everyday, they say (ᵕó_ò)

 

Shedletsky:

qnyways that’s what happened on my sunday! 

What abt yours!!!

 

Elliot:

um

um

well

Im still in bed

 

Noob:

HEY TWIN!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

my school schedule comes out tmr and since this is basically my dairy you ALL will hear about it

 

this is the most ridiculous ration chapter ever anyways hi if ur still alive… pls come back.. 

 

UNSTABLE UNIVERSE PARROT VIDEO !!!!! 

SHOOOOOOT ME 😍🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

Notes:

do we fw polycules guys

Chapter 29: TITANIA IS THE BEST MOON, SORRY TITAN

Summary:

was made august 17

Notes:

i’m posting al my drafts

lalalala

 

This is a throwback to last years hunters moon

 

here’s a piece of bread to last you till school starts!!

 

kitchen nightmares

8:33 pm

 

bluudud:

guys is it just me or is the moon absolutely HUGE

 

Jason:

y

ss

yes

fuckass ohone

 

Noli:

full moon coming up

tahts why

 

John Doe:

Really?

 

Jason:

but usually full moons r normal

 

Noli:

yeah I lied

Don’t know shit about the sky

 

1x1x1x1:

phd in lying ❤️

I just remembered something so random

but when I was a little kid

I wanted to be an astronaut rlly bad

 

John Doe:

out of all the jobs 

 

Jason:

that’s cute tho :(

 

1x1x1x1:

no wair

and then my dad showed me this movie

I have no idea what it’s called but I cried

Iy was abt this lady and her space team

her team died

and she was stuck all alone in space drifting away

and she was hallucinating them

It scared me so bad

 

Jason:

Oh!

I guess that’s one way to steer someone’s career path

 

1x1x1x1:

I work at the fucking pool.

 

John Doe:

This one?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k0ijEEivCbg&pp=ygUPZ3Jhdml0eSB0cmF1bGVy

 

1x1x1x1:

YES

And he was all like “do you want to be an astronaut NOW??? ☺️☺️”

FUCK NO.

 

bluudud:

what’s your favorite moon in the whole solar system 

 

1x1x1x1:

Venus

I think

 

Jason:

ARE YOY SEROUS😭😭😭😭😭

 

bluudud:

YALL ALW SAYINF IM SPED

LOOK AT THIS GUY

 

1x1x1x1:

YOU SAID

SOLAR SYSTEM

AND NOT SPECIFY WHICH ONE

 

Noli:

i am rolling over laughing rijgt now

Airhead award goes to 1x4

 

bluudud:

I SAID FAVORITE MOON BRYH

 

1x1x1x1:

OH.

 

Noli:

Venus :3

 

1x1x1x1:

STOP

I DONT READ THINGS COMPLETELY

I NEVER GOT HIGHER THAN GRADE 8 😭

 

John Doe:

my jaw dropped when i read that 

 

C00lkidd:

dude pick it back up

thats not good

 

Noli:

Im going to stomp on you 

 

1x1x1x1:

on another note

i almost ran over a deer tdy

 

C00lkidd:

X THIS IS NOT GOOD TO HEAR..

IM TRYING TO CONVINCE MY DAD TO LET ME B IN THE CAR WITH YOU

 

bluudud:

atp you might as well sign your life away

uou are NOT coming back out that car 

 

C00lkidd:

😰

What the flip flop

how am i supposed to get to my mall tycoon now

 

1x1x1x1:

Figure it out because  I WILL crash

run over bluudud on my way over

 

bluudud:

is this child endangerment

 

---

IM NOT OK.
WHY DO I HAVE ALL MY HARDEST CLASSES BACK TO BACK TO BACK

and also i moved schools cuz i moved states so wtf i am officially a weirdo.

no way i have

pre calc
physics
apush
ap lang
JUST ALL STACKED ONE ON TOP OF ANOTHER
THIS IS IT

MY LAST YEAR ALIVE

HOLY MOLY

Notes:

in memory of my solarbwlls chat fic that hasn’t been updated in MONTHS

Chapter 30: bits n pieces

Summary:

i took psat and only got a 1260, I may be homeless in the near future

Notes:

It’s august 21st as I am writing this. I asked my friends

“do u think i can finish 40 chapters of huckleberry finn by sunday and finish a 500 page memoir by the end of next week”

And band camp friend sent me prayers and freshman friend just told me that she hopes the gods have mercy on my soul

 

End of chapter will have news whether or not i finally locked in after complaining about ap lang in multiple chapters and multiple fics. Ap lang summer work saga comes to a wrap in THIS CHAPTER. IK YALL SICK.

 

This chapter is purely scrapped bits and ideas that I’ve made during my off time :P

I have my last day at the dental office soon thank god. it’s miserable 

 

RELEASING THIS EARLY IN HONOR OF TAPH MILESTONES. I LOVE THE MILESYONES SM OMGGGGG TDY IS A GOOD DAY FOR THE TAPH MAINS

 

kitchen nightmares

8:40 pm

 

Jason:

I dunno if this is realistic

but do you think if i took my drivers test tmr with 5 hours of practice I could pass

 

1x1x1x1:

no.

 

Jason:

Ok but u don’t count

You’re mentally challenged in the area of motor vehicle transport 

 

bluudud:

”mentally challenged” it’s ok js call him stupid

 

1x1x1x1:

:/

 

bluudud:

im at band canp rn i wanana go home

whyd i join marching band.

 

Jason:

all this time and i did NOT know you played an instrument 😭

 

bluudud:

unmmm

I do french horn

C00lkidd does trumpet

 

Jason:

wtaf

how did you end up with french horn???

tahts so random

 

bluudud:

dont even rn.

IDEK

The conductor randomly approached me one day last year 

and was like

how do you feel about playing horn?

I didn’t really like my trumpet so I said I’d try it out

nwxt thing i know they got me doing laps around the football field next to C00lkidd who is fumbling REAL bad

 

pr3typriincess:

OH I WAS GONNA ASK ABT BAND CAMP !!

thoguhts and prayers ❤️

 

C00lkidd:

thank youz

I mean it isn’t totally bad.

Since we’re here 9 to 9 the music leader guy dumps a bucket of ice water on his head every morning :D

 

bluudud:

O ya

thats fun

they run ts like it’s a military camp doe

we end in 10min and we are trying to get to the last set

 

C00lkidd:

Sighhhh…

 

bluudud:

watch him keep us late

 

Jason:

9 pm is crazy for band

How do you commit to something like that

SCHOOL no less

 

C00lkidd:
‘I used to love my trumpet but my music teacher last yr was booty

he was like the evil dictator Vlad the impaler except he made us cry every rehearsal and threw drumsticks at the percussion section

 

bluudud:

fhat guy pmo

my school playlist is gonna b working overtime this year 

 

Noli:

Let me put you on to peak

https://open.spotify.com/track/2aHqdN4K9naX3oBuUxp6zf?si=gLZOaR3OR7yr8VRKP_HKtQ

 

bluudud:

i forgot this lurker was here

putting my trust in you

 

Jason:

live bluu reaction ??!!!

 

bluudud:

oh you are so right

OUGHHH THIS IS GOOD

okk

ill download this

 

Noli:

I am counting down the days until they play this on tour

 

-

 

kitchen nightmares

5:12 am

 

C00lkidd:

i js threw moldy bread at bluudud 😊

 

Jason:

HAHAHA

 

bluudud:

BRO I SCREAMED

IT WAS HARD

if u see C00l in the hall RUN

 

C00lkidd:

if you see a tree in a foresy

LEEEAVE

but no i’ll give you guys food

 

bluudud:

MOLDY

 

pr3typriincess:

Holy heck

Why are you guys up this early. 

get a job

 

bluudud:

hey um.

you didnt knoe this but im letting u know now

that word

needs to be censored

its like

really traumatic to hear for me

bc i didn’t get hired this summer

 

Jason:

Yuh he breaks out in hives

 

pr3typriincess:

oh girl don’t worry i can tell 

 

bluudud:

like YOU’RE the one to talk

 

pr3typriincess:

I actually did something productive this summer

KUMON

 

bluudud:

go do that. 

 

-

 

scaredy cats

2:20 pm

 

Taph:

There’s a bee in my room.

Im quite frightened.

 

Noob:

dont let it sting u babes

 

Shedletsky:

gonna hurt like a booty hole

 

Taph:

:/

 

Shedletsky:

dont bend down to reach for anything cause it’s gonna put jellybeans up ya bootyhole

 

Noob:

bro😭

 

-

 

scaredy cats

8:43 pm

 

Elliot:

Do you think if I waited till next week to cram for my exam that same week I’ll pass?.

 

Noob:

mayhaps…

 

Builderman:

What happens if you don’t pass?

 

Elliot:

Well I’ll probably need to drop out

change my name

leave the country

maybe get a pet alligator

which might be better than studying!

um and I just checked, apparently I have a paper due too! Next week!

26 pages wtf.

 

Noob:

WHAT THE HELL

ARE YOU SURE

HAVE UOU CHECKED

DOUBLE CHECKED??

 

Elliot:

yea

I might cry

Yhefes a annotated reading  i need to do before hand too

wtf.

 

Noob:

theres NO WAY

 

Elliot:

ISTG IM A GOOD STUDENT

IDK HOW I LET THIS HAPPEN.

 

Builderman:

You better be for all the money your paying 😭

 

Guest:

wait but honestly

it seems do able if u get me

because once you get working you get WORKING.

 

Elliot:

I haven’t been able to work recently tho 💔

 

Noob:

Sometimes I’m so glad I didn’t go to college

that would genuinely take me the whole year with how much I dilly dally ._.

but that’s also why I have like 6 side jobs 😓

 

Elliot:

i’m  crying

Is being a nurse worth it guys

axtually nvm i need to lock in

 

Noob:

i’ll be supporting u babes

 

Chance:

hey gng 🤑🤑

 

Elliot:

hai

can any1 come w me to a sushi conveyor pls

 

Guest:

Go do your work 😐

 

Elliot:

i’m quite lonely

and hungry

 

Chance

EAT AOME

DARK CHOCOLATE

CHERRIES AND PRETZELS!!

 

Noob:

ouuh wait!!

U ate with that, I WILL be trying :3

 

Elliot:

I don’t live at the supermarket.

 

Chance:

ok whagever

idk what u have

💔💔💔💔

 

Noob:

have rice and tuna

ive been craving that

 

Elliot:

I DONT HAVE THAT EITHER

wjat kind of fridges do u guys have bc all this is too fancy for my kind

 

Noob:

no i just like buying food with money I don’t have ☺️

 

Elliot:

ok so can someone come with me or what.

 

Noob:

ELLIOT.

GO DO UR WOEK RIGJT NOOOOWWW 

YOU’RE GONNA CRY NEXT WEEK

 

Elliot:

I DONT WANT TOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ok if i read till 

chapter 10

will u go out with me

 

Noob:

yes!

 

Elliot:

YAY THANK U

 

Chance:

You’re gonna b sobbing in morning wondering why U didn’t read mor

 

Elliot:

um let’s not manifest.

 

Chance:

IM NOT

just pointing it out……..

 

-

 

scaredy cats

7:38 pm

 

Two Time:

u guys r sleeping on boxed mac n cheese

iys so creamy

ive been eating it for 8 days straight

 

Shedletsky:

WTF EW .

 

Builderman:

You’re just making Kraft.

 

Two Time:

Its the way u make ut

truat me guys

when have I ever been wrong

 

Builderman:

Many times

 

Two Time:

nuh uh

 

Builderman:

what abt

The earth being the center of the solar system

The color green coming from orange and blue

Spawn being real

Venice being a country

Being fluent in French

Ambidextrous being spelt Amasterdeckoris

Dinosaurs being make believe

The sun being a planet

 

Taph:

santa being fake

 

Builderman:

Santa being fake

Twinkies never going expired

Mississippi being a fake state

lionfish and horses breeding to make hippocampi 

and also flamingos  being born pink and unable to fly 

 

Two Time:

Jeez.

Well did you expect me to be a genius????? :(

 

 

 

Notes:

Aug 26 I finished huckleberry finn and annotated all 311 pages

Still don’t know what happened exactly

but now i must read my other 40 chapter memoir, fully annotate THAT, write three essays for each book, and have it all done sep 2nd, sep 3rd the latest.

if i don’t make it out alive… I loved some of you. Not all, some. 😇

Chapter 31: Majestic harp starts playing

Aug 27

 

Im posting all the drafts I did bc Im pretty much done w all my summer work!!! I have three more essays but I think i’ll finish them all tdy . I b writing like yall r my friends 😭

Also! In case some don’t know, I’m going back and editing a lot of my older chapters, and any chapter w the killers bc I need to change jason 2 Slasher . I might also add taph and Noli to earlier chapters  . so 🤓

 

kitchen nightmares

4:42 pm

 

Noli:

THIS GIRL IS GOING CRAZY

WHQT DO U MEQN BY “THEY WWNT BLOOOD” 

“I MADE THEM ANGRY.”

 

Slasher:

Where the fuck are you that you’re experiencing this rn

 

John Doe:

He really could be anywhere

 

Noli:

THE ONLY LIKE NON CRAZY THING SHE SAID WAS

“my name is Alex “

THE OTHER OFFICER WAS DYING TO KILL HER

HE KEPT ASKING ME CAN I SHOOT HER

 

Slasher:

HWLWPE WHATBWHTJE FRRQEAK

 

Noli:

I thought this was prison not the psychiatric hospital 

Y this girl talking to me abt the voices in her head 

 

1x1x1x1:

Aye your finally home!!

 

Noli:

Kill yourself.

Every night i pray that tmr will be your last 

 

1x1x1x1:

Oh!

Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine!!!

 

John Doe:

speak for yourself

 

1x1x1x1:

Ill have you know that I opened the door for someone today

 

Slasher:

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Some1 better give u the princess diana award

 

 

Chapter 32

 

 

Aug 29 - yay!!!

 

this should’ve been in the bits n pieces chapter but idc

 

kitchen nightmares

10:52 pm

 

Bluudud:

does any1 have snack recommendations 

 

pr3typriincess:

oh so you can text but you can’t watch kpop demond hunters

keep that energy

 

Bluudud:

IM GOING TO BED RN

 

pr3typriincess:

so why did ur air pods js connect to my phone

this isn’t adding up.

 

Bluudud:

cuz i was listening to my lullabies

 

pr3typriincess:

so my voice?

 

Bluudud:

my 72 hr rain noises

oh.

 

pr3typriincess:

let me stop…

 

Bluudud:

IM SHITTING

 

pr3typriincess:

the bathroom is right next to ur room by the way

 

C00lkidd:

☠️

 

-

 

Also sorry I keep changing my user on every account i own 😭😭😭 

 

When i get the urges i must tickle them

Chapter 33: AND I GOT STUNG BY A BEE 😓😓😓💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Summary:

AUG 28

Notes:

first day of school tmr. Weird kid S3 ep 1 but it’s ok!!!!!!

Last yr someone poured a whole bottle of coke over my head on the FIRST day

Make it make sense guys 😐 Ik u don’t want to b here but neither do i 😓

meeroooow

 

im so lonely.

i did  a lot of killers drafts bc there’s less of them but next time will be survivors :3 

 

um this was inspired my friend who got stung by a bee bc she sat on it while at the pool

 

 

kitchen nightmares

2:19 pm

 

1x1x1x1:

IM AT WORK

AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DTUNG BY A BEE

 

Bluudud:

WHAT A LOSER

POINT AND LAUGH 

 

1x1x1x1:

OWCH

PWWWWWW

 

John Doe:

Howd you get stung 😭

 

1x1x1x1:

IDFK I WAS JUST WALKING AND IT STUNG ME AND I SHOOK IT OFF

OWWWW IT BURNSm

 

Noli:

HEL

 

1x1x1x1:

ITS SWELLING

it hurts so bad oh my god

i didnt expect this 

 

C00lkidd:

wait i wanna c  ?!!!!!!

 

1x1x1x1:

Image

 

John Doe:

oh yep its definitelt swelling

 

Bluudud:

you have no idea how hard i’m laughing rn.

 

Noli:

r u allergic to bees… that does NOT look normal

 

1x1x1x1:

I hope not.

 

Noli:

that looks awful

 

1x1x1x1:

HOLY SHIT R U SRS.

I THIUGH U KUST HATED ME

 

Noli:

YEA.

 

1x1x1x1:

ivr bever been stunt before

AND THE LIFEGUARD CANT FIND WHATEVER HE NEEDS TO FIX IT

 

C00lkidd:

i never met anyone who has been stung before

can i get your autograph 

 

1x1x1x1:

I can’t write cursive. 

 

 

Chapter 34: the family loaf of bread

Summary:

first day of school 😓🤓

Notes:

i see so many taph players now that taph has milestone skins

aug 29

 

in retrospect, all of these could’ve been in the bits n pieces chapter. 

is that how you use retrospect? idk i’ve never used it before 

 

scaredy cats

9:15 am

 

Shedletsky:

Lets NEVER take a big vacation again because whoever the FUCK left JUST the butt of the fucking bread in the wrapping… COUNT YOUR DAYS

WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT

JS THROW IT OUT BRO

 

Builderman:

You didn’t hear this from me, but I saw Two Time have the last slice

 

Shedletsky:

YOU FUCKING HOE

TWO TOME

 

Two Time:

SORRY SORRY

IM SORRY

I DIDNT KNOW IF ANYONE LIKED THE BREAD END BIT

I DIDNT WANNA THROW IT AWAY 

AND THATS LIKE

WASTING FOOD

A GOOD TEN BUCKS

 

Shedletsky:

No.

Atp we could just buy another bread and not feel bad about it

we ate all the good parts

 

Taph:

tahtw as good bread

 

Chance:

yes taph

tell me more

 

Taph:

I love herb bread

 

Chance:

Yes Taph…

Yes…

 

Dusekkar:

I personally like focaccia

caramelized onion focaccia

 

Shedletsky:

fancy ahh bread

 

Taph:

I don’t like the onion bits

they’re too sweet

and make the bread soggy :/

 

Noob:

awe what?? :(

 

Dusekkar:

Well that’s why I get you the herb focaccia

 

Noob:

AWEEE WHATTTTT???? 😭❤️

 

Shedletsky:

g*y af

 

Chance:

Do the red lobster busiscts count

 

Noob:

Those biscuits r so good >_<

Shedletsky:

I take this kid to red lobster and we look so big asking for another basket

 

Chance:

I LOVE the red lobster biscuits

i’d suck cock for those

 

Two Time:

I never had red lobster

 

Chance:

Ywo time…..

I will be the first to take you to red lobster

Itll be like being reborn again

 

Two Time:

SRS??????

 

Shedletsky:

oh nah 

U got the they/them excited 😭😭

 

Elliot:

everyone’s lying 

Red Lobster’s food is so bad

 

Taph:

I feel bad for the lobsters

 

Two Time:

o

 

Elliot:

cuz it’s not even like they taste good

 

Noob:

😔

red lobster bread my favorite bread

 

Elliot:

If u were a bread

I think you’d be one of the breads with all the artificial food dyes

and be bright purple

 

Noob:

I LOOOOVE RAINBOW BREAD

Builderman would be multigrain

Dusekkar whole wheat

 

Shedletsky:

My top two least favorite breads brah 🤬

 

Chance:

we can tell…

Can i be the red lobster bread

 

Guest:

What are you guys on about 😓😓

Roleplayonf breads????

 

Noob:

no

but i think if u were a bread you’d be potato bread

bc that’s what they ate instead of wheat bread during famine times

 

Chance:

okkk intellectual! 

 

Guest:

Tahgs so random 😭

 

Noob:

no bc if u think abt it

potato bread was their only hope

and it helped them survive

 

Chance:

WAAAAITTT

UR ON TO SOMETBING

🔥🔥

DIDNT KNOW U WERE A POET

 

Noob:

I try my best ☺️

 

Guest:

Thank you

 

Elliot:

annddd

Two Time’s banana bread bc I like banana bread

 

Two Time:

I haven’t had banana bread b4

 

Taph:

I can make banana bread!!!

Very good

wirh chocolate chips :3

 

Shedletsky:

And i’m saying this with everyone’s best interests in mind

whixh is rare

BUT TAPHS BANANA BREAD IS SO GOOD

EAT IT

 

Taph:

I just saw the recipe on instagram (⸝⸝0⸝⸝0⸝⸝)

 

Elliot:

Yet it’s the only banana bread I eat

 

Noob: 

Shedletsky’s wonder bread :P

 

Chance:

WONDERBREAD WHITE 😭 

 

Shedletsky:

I can’t even deny that

Im a white bread consumer 😇

 

Elliot:

Yeah with a little bit of mold to it

 

007n7:

Wellll

I think you’d be sour dough bread

Because your very sour 

and you feed off others love

 

Elliot:

You’re a loaf

but only the butt of the bread

nobody likes you

 

007n7:

WHAT??

 

Noob:

unless they want bread crumbs

 

Elliot:

oh yeah that

 

Noob:

other than that it’s a pretty pitiful existence

 

Guest:

Wtf that’s so mean 😭

 

---

 

have I spread the bones shredder propaganda yet?

I probably have. but Ill do it anyways 

LISTEN TO BONES SHREDDER

AS OF AUG 29 HE HAS RELEASED A NEW SINGLE CALLED PULLING TEETH

HE ALSO HAS

DAYLIGHT

AND 

SKY IS FALLING

ALL ARE SONGS FROM HIS DEBUT ALBUM MORBID LITTLE THING THAT IS RELEASING IN ITS ENTIRETY ON SEP 19. I LOVE RANDY MOORE. IVE BEEN HERE SINCE DAY ONE SO U SHOULD JOIN ME 🤬🤬🤬

 

Also he might go on a tour soon.

Notes:

i hate pizza burger.

Chapter 35: Poptootsie Pop

Summary:

too cool for school

Notes:

The start of a new era
I made this based off my own school groupchat with the two freshmen I adopted and other Junior friend .

And ya, the gc is called poptootsie wiggle irl

They’re aged up btw. Freshmen, Sophomore, Junior. Same age difference as canon. Also is slasher technically considered a kid. do i add him. someone tell me pls. 

 

Poptootsie Pop

2:14 pm

 

pr3typriincess:

guys get ready to bust out of here

 

C00lkidd:

🗣️🗣️🗣️

 

Bluudud:

I love to bust

 

pr3typriincess:

Bluudud try to be normal challenge (impossible)

i’ll pick u up v00lkidd

Baby’s first day at hs!! 

 

Bluudud:

who’s v00lkidd 

 

pr3typriincess:

evil version of C00lkidd

C00l evil twin

 

C00lkidd:

i have to personalitys 

C00lkidd

and

V00lkidd

 

Bluudud:

V00lkidd is the one who laughed at me when the earring went through my foot

 

pr3typriincess:

V00l ran me over yesterday

 

C00lkidd:

priincess come get me

hurry i look lonely

 

pr3typriincess:

I’m going as fast as I can

THESE STUPID SLOW WALKERS

OH MY WORDDD

 

Bluudud:

so is everyone in this school part snail

 

C00lkidd:

WHERE ATE YOU

 

Bluudud:

im in the bathroom i need to wahs my hands because i touched gum inder the table

ok

my first day rating

3/10

it was uneventful and boring. poopy shit

 

C00lkidd:

yeah man why couldn’t i witness a person being locked into a lovker

 

Bluudud:

and i already have a quiz in AP world!! huzzah

 

pr3typriincess:

We need to stuff V00l in a locker

 

Bluudud:

V00L NEEDS TO BE IN A LOCKER

NO MORE EVIL DEEDS

 

C00lkidd:

“NO MORE EVIL DEEDS” you say evily because you are evil 😣

 

Bluudud:

ok i already have a love-hate relationship with apwh

4 assignments already posted

this is what i get for choosing the scholarly path

 

C00lkidd:

r u ok

 

Bluudud:

The real question is will I ever be ok

 

pr3typriincess:

Wow are you a poet

sopocles

 

Bluudud:

im being pushed to my limit rn. tell me why she just posted another assignlent

 

C00lkidd:

Syabu

 

Bluudud:

C00L KIDD WTF

 

pr3typriincess:

that was v00lkidd not c00lkidd

 

Bluudud:

get V00l under control

 

C00lkidd:

meow

woof

 

pr3typriincess:

and now v00lkidd appears to be a furry

 

Bluudud:

what’s ur fursona

 

C00lkidd:

frog

 

pr3typriincess:

I was talking to this girl abt the homecoming football game

and she was like

ohhh im gonna find a ganggggg Im gonna fuck up these freshhhmen

Girl this is a gated community 💔

Your ops have a 9:30 pm bedtime

 

C00lkidd:

me too 😞😞

 

-

i’ve been into sleep token for a bit

by “into sleep token” i mean i like six of their songs

vore, the summoning, take me back to eden, even in arcadia, alkaline, and hypnosis

Most of their songs aren’t my cup of tea, I would like some recommendations tho… if anyone wants to share any of their fav ST songs or just any song recommendations in general!!! I love music!

Notes:

Also sorry updating is gonna be slow. I swear I have pieces in the work, not including other fics, but idk. I’ve been kinda bummed out lately idk why. I hate ap lang. Yheyre so mean 😭

I’ll try to post sundays and saturdays. Maybe fridays. if any1 has any chapter requests lmk. I like catering to wat ppl want to c.

Notes:

Hey!!!
This is supposed to be a fun, little silly thing that I can write in my free time :)
So it might not alw make sense and there WILL be time jumps, Au’s, etc!!!

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 3 of Lemon’s Forsaken Fics (4 super cool ppls only!!!)
• Part 5 of Lemon’s Rblx fics :3