Chapter Text
For someone that claimed not giving a fuck about what anyone would think about her, Natalie Scatorccio’s relationship with herself was complicated, to say the least.
However, Natalie’s relationship with the Yellowjackets was not complicated per se. It’s not what one would call best friends, or friends, either. Maybe it’s a very loose definition of teammates. Or maybe it’s just her who has issues identifying proper relationships when it comes to herself. She’s fine reading anyone else.
For example, she might understand very little about Jackie and Shauna, except the running joke the entire school has that Shauna is Jackie’s minion (not that anyone would dare to say it to her face, though), but there is definitely something… odd about it. Jackie’s nice to everyone, and Shauna has her days. So Natalie doesn’t mind them too much.
She for sure knows that Tai and Van are screwing. She’s seen the looks. She’s seen the soft touches when they’re all drunk at house parties. It doesn’t make much sense to her, though, because one: Van is the nicest out of all of them. Genuinely nice. Not weird nice like Misty or Laura Lee, who’s probably just nice out of religious guilt. And two: Tai reminds her of a chihuahua. All bark and no bite. Her temper rises in seconds, and it triggers Nat’s fight or flight she took from home.
But Van calms her down right away. You know what? Maybe that’s how they complement each other. Nat shrugs at the thought.
She doesn’t give too much thought to coach Ben, but she knows he’s gay, though. All the mom’s flirt with him during games and weekend practices and he couldn’t give two shits. But he’s nice to her, so whatever. He’s also the one who offered to drive them back, he gets bonus points for that.
Akilah and Mari are unintentionally funny, even though they keep to themselves most of the time, and Gen and Melissa have always just been kinda there, an awkward smile here and then, a pat on the back when they’ve had a good game. Nat doesn’t mind them either.
The point is, she doesn’t consider herself close to any of the girls in that capacity. And why would she? They all seem to have more stuff in common with anyone else than her, but she can’t blame them.
She knows the ‘stoner’ reputation follows her around even though that bad trip while in public happened once.
After that she swore off whatever it was that her friends were offering. But no one knew, and she didn’t make any efforts to correct them.
Her home situation wasn’t great either, and everyone in school knew. Her mom was a victim of her dad’s abusive behavior, and Nat would usually hide or leave home until late hours until the storm had passed. What was she supposed to do? Cry to the whole school about it?
… Maybe she did get caught doing that once or twice after practice.
And, as much as everyone is in the team and they, most often than not, have a good time together, they all have their own friendships and their own places they belong. Deep connections aren’t her thing. She would blame her parents, but not everything can be their fault, and— actually? Yeah, it’s most likely her parents.
Her point is… these are very non-confusing, indifferent thoughts for very non-confusing, indifferent relationships.
And then there’s Lottie Matthews.
Lottie Matthews, who’s always so chill around everyone, even when they’re all acting crazy.
Lottie Matthews, who plays her best game every single time no matter how shitty the team’s performance is or how corny Jackie’s speeches at halftime are.
Lottie Matthews, who knows more about Natalie than the whole team combined. Not because Nat has dumped any kind of information by herself, but because she’s asked, unlike anyone else.
Natalie feels weird about Lottie. Not in a romantic, crush type of way. More in a… drawn to someone type of way. If she could choose one person to be close to in the team, I’d be her.
But Lottie’s always too busy being daddy’s little rich princess and hanging out with her little rich friends. And, that’s how her inner monologue about Lottie goes every time.
Not that she’s even asked Lottie.
Not that she thinks about it often, anyway.
Not that she gets nervous around her in the locker room. Ever.
Not that she had to take a couple of deep breaths when she had to sit next to Lottie in the plane on their way to nationals.
Oh, shit. Right. Nationals…
The Yellowjackets made it to fucking nationals!
Everyone at Wiskayok High School was static as the girls knew the expectations were ridiculously high for a high school soccer team.
The game was rough. Both defenses were strong and shots on goal weren’t common for the first half. Lottie and Tai did their best to find Jackie or Shauna open and get them the ball, only for their efforts to be dismissed by the other team. In one lucky strike from their number #9, the Yellowjackets were ahead.
This lasted a few minutes, as Van deflected a goal attempt that resulted in one of the opponents aiming the ball right at her face, knocking her out for a second and giving them a chance to score on the rebound.
They were livid as the referee allowed it, and a fight broke out. Both coaches called their teams back as Tai had to fight all the urge to pull the girl who hurt Van by her face into the mud.
The rest of the game was aggressive. Pushes, shoves and fouls were made left and right. The Yellowkackets refused to lose to those cheating assholes. The problem was that after the first goal, Shauna or Jackie were never open again. They needed to switch up their strategy. No more Jackie or Shauna.
And that was the thing. They worked together in that pitch better than they worked together in real life. “A well-oiled machine”, like coach always said.
They wasted no time in the added minutes. Van to Laura Lee. Laura Lee to Lottie and then to Tai. Tai to Mari. Mari to Nat.
Then the crowd was buzzing. Even more so when the girls managed to win with a last-minute goal courtesy of Natalie, who was there at the right place at the right time.
The supporters’ side roared as the final whistle blew and the girls ran towards her to celebrate.
To Natalie, it felt like a group hug that would stick with her for a while. And yeah, they’ve hugged in the past. They hug at practice, after games, when one of them scores, etc. But that’s tradition, something everyone does.
She thinks ‘living in the moment’ is a skill she doesn’t have. But neither is thinking about the future. She knows a few of her teammates are going away to college after summer ends. Others mentioned taking a break or traveling abroad with their families.
But no one knows what her plan is. Hell, she doesn’t even know what she’s going to do after all of this is over.
The girls weren’t all that bad, regardless. Soccer was a good escapism from her life at home. But now that that was ending, what was she supposed to do to fill that void?
“Nat, you’re coming?” A voice wakes her up from her thoughts. Jackie was staring at her with the trophy, as big as their two heads, in one hand. “The others are changing already, let’s go.”
The small pitch was left empty as everyone headed out to celebrate this victory. But there was no party for them, or at least not in Seattle.
The party was waiting for them back in Jersey. The coach had set a curfew and a no-drinking policy (they weren’t supposed to drink anyway… right) to have them ready for the trip back.
Natalie followed behind Jackie as they headed to the changing rooms, where the rest of the team was chatting excitedly and music was blasting from a small radio, courtesy of Van. I saw the sign. Life is demanding without understanding. I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes. The echo of the song blasted through the walls as the girls sang off-pitch.
I saw the sign. No one's gonna drag you up. To get into the light where you belong. But where do you belong? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Nat scoffed. Appropriate. Lottie walked past them, singing and dancing off-beat, encouraging them to do the same. Jackie shrugged and joined immediately.
They both gave Nat a look, she shook her head, surrendering and joining the two of them. Maybe letting loose wasn’t all that hard… for a bit. I saw the sign and it opened up my mind. And I am happy now.
It was McDonald’s drive-through and hotel room carpeted floors for them. They sat in an awkward circle as they ate their food quietly, exhaustion washing over them.
Jackie was the one to break the silence, pretending she was hitting a glass with a fork, only it was a fake ‘clink-clink-clink’ sound over a stale french fry hitting the paper cup. “Okay, god, I wish we had booze for this, but whatever, raise your… shakes, everyone!” They all gave her a funny look, but did what she said nonetheless.
“I know the future is big and bright for all of us. I’m happy to be part of this team and getting to know and play with each and every one of you. You’ve made this possible and now we get to brag to our future kids about being elite high school soccer stars!” She said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. “To the Yellowjackets!”
“To the Yellowjackets!” They all chanted in unison, fake hitting their milkshakes together, toasting together for the last time that night.
The celebration didn’t last long as they needed to be up early for the trip. Coach Ben said he’d leave anyone behind if they weren’t up and running by seven in the morning. And he usually meant business.
Now, she’s burnt out and staring at the ceiling while she waits for her turn at the bathroom. If she had to share with one other person and it was already hell, she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to share it with other ten-ish people tomorrow.
Natalie sat on her bed, pondering about the same thing that’s been in her head since they won States. It’s silly, but it never leaves her mind. She wishes it would. She wishes she could take something that could help her loosen up, forget about it, numb it. Anything. She looked around unamused until her eyes landed on the mini-fridge and… wait a second.
The morning after, Nat and Akilah were leaving their shared room as they heard two of their teammates doing the same thing. The hallway seems a little bit crowded now for what was going on.
“I don’t get why we have to drive all the way back,” Shauna grumbled under her breath, pulling her bag around her shoulders, along with the door of the cheap-looking motel their school could afford. “We could’ve ‘bonded’ afterwards. If that’s even necessary.”
Natalie sighs. Shauna gives her a look over her shoulder, looking distressed. But that was just how Shauna behaved lately.
She would leave parties early, refuse to stay after practices, and cut phone calls short. Natalie wondered how Jackie usually ignored all of it. Graduating and going off to college seemed to have different effects on everyone. But for one, Jackie seemed the most excited out of all of them.
“Easy, Shipman. It’ll be only a couple of days. Maybe three or four with pit stops.” The door slams closed behind them as they walk towards the elevator. Jackie smiles. She always would.
None of them wants to spend their time crammed up in the bunk of a bus with only one bathroom for more than 48 hours, but if someone’s going to make sure everyone has a good damned time, that’s gonna be their captain.
Shauna just keeps going as they head to the empty bus. To be fair, it didn’t look terrible. They knew it had bunks, a few kitchen appliances, a toilet, and most importantly, it would take longer for Nat to make it back home. “An entire soccer team, Jackie. Plus Ben. I just can’t—
“Guess Lottie can only pull the 'rich daddy' card once per championship,” Nat says from behind them, a smug look on her face.
“A ‘thank you’ would be nice, you know? Can’t imagine being stuck in a bus twice this week with sad-eyed puppy over here,” Lottie exclaims as she walks towards them, tossing her bag on the ground and sitting on top of it. Shauna looks at them in disbelief.
Natalie laughs as she leans on the bus and takes a drag from her lit-up cigarette, “Chill, Shauna. We all aren’t shitting rainbows at this idea either.”
“I wish someone brought some booze to make this a little more bearable,” Mari says as she joins the group, imitating Lottie and dropping herself to the ground with a huff. They all agree non-enthusiastically.
“We have some card games!” Laura Lee chimes in enthusiastically. They all groaned instead.
“Fuck that,” Mari replies. “Maybe we’ll find something along the way. Who knows?”
Natalie shrugs and drops her cigarette to the ground, stepping on it nonchalantly. “Here’s hoping.”
“Ben said no drinking.” Shauna interrupts.
“Maybe Ben doesn’t need to find out, Shauna.”
“Excuse me? And how do you plan on that happening?” Tai mocks as she and Van appear next to the group.
The blonde smiles as she shakes her bag, small clinks of glass barely hitting each other catching everyone’s attention. Oh.
“You raided the fucking mini-bar, Nat?!” Tai whispers as she gets closer to examine Natalie’s bag.
“I really hope that’s not alcohol, Natalie!” Misty yells from inside the bus, popping her head out of one of the passenger windows, startling everyone.
“What the fuck, Misty?! How long have you been in there?!” Natalie’s head turns as she looks at the floating head staring right at them.
“About three hours. But it’s all worth it. All’s set for the Yellowjackets road trip! Woo-hoo!”
They all rolled their eyes at the same time. This was gonna be a fun ride.