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Elijah’s carefully indifferent expression faltered when his sister entered their kitchen with the youngest doppelganger on her arm. He rose to his feet in greeting, setting aside his newspaper.
“Sister, whatever it is that you have dragged Elena here for, I must insist –”
“God, Elijah, would you relax for one minute? Elena’s here of her own free will, I swear.”
Elijah raised a dubious eyebrow, but lowered it when Elena nodded at him. He lingered for a moment, taking in the pallor which seemed set beneath her usually warm olive skin, the slowed rate of her heart, the way her eyes darted anxiously around the space as if every minute detail was an assault on her senses. It only took him a split second to identify the cause, and he did his best to keep his face unaffected.
“She is free of compulsion?”
Rebekah rolled her eyes. “I know this might come as a shock to someone who spends all day hiding away in his study, but I can actually maintain a friendship without using my supernatural abilities, thank you very much.”
“I wasn’t aware that you two were friends.” She didn’t dignify him with a response, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she breezed back out of the kitchen, Elena still following silently behind her. On her way out of the door, he watched the doppelganger’s lips curve into a soft smile, just for him, before she turned to follow his sister.
For a moment he debated following the pair, disrupting whatever nefarious plan his sister was likely hatching, but instead he busied himself with the newspaper that he had been diligently reading when they had entered the house.
It took him another minute to realise that the text was upside-down.
“Matt, can I borrow your phone? I need to call Stefan before –”
She never got to finish her question, the tyres of Matt’s truck screeching against the tarmac as a flash of blonde hair appeared before the windshield, her imposing figure in the middle of the bridge sending the car crashing through the railings.
I just wanted a chance to say goodbye, Elena thought, her tears mingling in with the rushing river water as it filled the car, passing her shoulders and plastering her hair to her face. She did her best to soothe Matt, holding his hand in hers even after his eyes went glassy and the consciousness faded from his eyes.
I’m so sorry, Matt, you didn’t deserve this. You didn’t deserve the way I selfishly held on to you for so long, or the way I cut you out of my life even when it’s what we both needed. You didn’t deserve to lose your sister because of some stupid vampires moving to town when they recognised my face. You don’t deserve to die just because you were the one taking me home.
When Stefan appeared at the car window, she could have shouted for joy, if there had been any air left for her lungs to grab onto. He began to pull her free, but she shook her head, gesturing to Matt.
Save him, she mouthed, her eyes blazing fiercely, and she watched Stefan’s resolve crumble. She didn’t even attempt to remove her own seatbelt, nor to open the passenger door. She watched her two ex-boyfriends floating away with a detached sense of relief.
Matt will survive. I said goodbye to Damon. I got to see Stefan one last time.
Enough, now.
I’m ready.
I’m free.
She should have known that it would never be that simple.
It had been a rude awakening, blinking into the harsh fluorescent lights of the morgue while air seared back into her vacant lungs. The room was too big and too small all at once, cavernous yet stifling, every tiny sound amplified as it echoed off the stainless steel walls, distant but magnified. Elena was distracted from the oppressive space at the sound of a familiar voice.
“Ah, good, you’re awake. I was so hoping that would happen.”
She spun around from her seat on the gurney, not thinking too hard about where she found herself or why.
“Rebekah? Did I die and go to Hell?”
Rebekah winced. “Only half right, darling. I am sorry, you know, but I just couldn’t face going on the run again after your hunter friend murdered my brother.”
“Woah, rewind. I died?”
Rebekah sighed impatiently. “Yes, obviously. I might not be fully up to speed with all the advances of modern medicine, but I don’t believe they tend to put the living patients in the morgue, Elena .”
Elena was overwhelmed all at once with a tide of different emotions. Amusement won out as her breaths devolved into laughter which soon became hysterical. To her surprise, Rebekah steadied her with a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“Elena, it’s okay. Just breathe.”
It took a moment, but the world began to calm around her as the air slowed its race in and out of her lungs.
“You compelled me.” Elena’s eyebrows furrowed.
Rebekah pinched the bridge of her nose, flicking a perfect blonde wave of hair back over her shoulder. “I was trying to help. I won’t do it again?” she offered.
Elena nodded.
“Elena?” The fearsome blonde Original looked a little nervous. “You don’t have to decide right now, but there are a few things you’re going to need to think about pretty soon. If you want to stay here , that’s up to you,” she grimaced, “but it might be nicer to get you home.”
Rebekah’s odd behaviour almost didn’t surprise Elena any more, but it was certainly strange to be led by her hand as she helped her rise to her feet. She appreciated the way her fingers –cold from her death in the river– were warmed in the other girl’s touch, and the warmth spread through her as they walked quietly through the deserted hospital corridors. Neither one mentioned the fact that their hands remained clasped together until they had to separate to climb into the car, nor the way that their hands gravitated back towards one another over the centre console of Rebekah's sleek black car.
“Are you very angry at me?”
Elena frowned. “I’m annoyed, yeah.”
“Just annoyed?” This version of Rebekah was one that Elena had only briefly glimpsed before, back when they had admired her pretty red dress in the mirror, before Elena had quite literally stabbed her in the back. Elena hadn’t often seen her looking this vulnerable, and she was swiftly reminded that this millennium-old monster was also a teenage girl full of doubts and irrational fears.
Just like her.
“Yeah, Rebekah. You killed me.” Her voice was oddly detached, and Rebekah surprised her by noticing.
“There’s something else though. You don’t seem so angry about that part.”
Elena shook her head, trying to clear her mind. “No, I guess I’m not. In some ways you were doing me a favour,” she laughed dryly, pinching the bridge of her nose as she mirrored Rebekah, who raised her eyebrows at the sound. “I’m mad because I was trying to say goodbye to Stefan and you took that away from me. I’m mad because I was ready to let them go and I lost my chance to tell them that. I’m mad that you chose the one place that I almost died, twice, the place where my parents died. I’m pissed that you didn’t even think about the fact it wasn’t just me in the car, and you just left Matt to drown with me.”
Rebekah’s eyes were wide, but she held each accusation repentantly. “He was just –”
“Collateral damage? Yeah, I’ve heard that one before. Whatever happened to sneaking up and breaking someone’s neck? Hell, whatever happened to just asking nicely, Rebekah? It’s not like it would even be the first time I sacrificed myself for your family.”
“Are you seriously implying that you would have willingly given up your life if I had come and knocked on your door?”
Elena looked up at her with sad eyes. “I don’t think you all deserve to die, you know.”
Rebekah forced a smirk. “You would have done it if Elijah had asked.”
Elena shook her head. “He wouldn’t have needed to ask. I just wanted to say goodbye first, that was all.”
Rebekah felt her eyes widen. “That’s what your phone call was about, on the bridge? You were on your way to –”
“Yes, Rebekah, I was going to end my stupid life to stop Alaric from killing your family and by extension every vampire in the world. I was going to say goodbye to the Salvatores, tell them that I loved them and that I would continue to love them once Klaus’ death took them with him, in some vain hope that they would finally find peace when they crossed over. I was going to dig out those old bottles of painkillers that I was prescribed from the last time I was in a car that drove off that bridge, and – and –” Her voice broke off as her shoulders shook with sobs, her breath erratic as she struggled for control. Her hand stayed firmly in Rebekah's through her whole tirade.
“You didn’t want to wake back up,” Rebekah concluded shakily into the silence, once Elena’s breathing was steadier. Guilt began to gnaw at her from the inside, and an underlying anxiety joined it. She doesn’t want to be a vampire , she reminded herself. Usually Rebekah would bury her guilt beneath sarcasm and deflection, but she found it difficult to summon that persona with Elena’s fragile hand in hers, instead awash with fear that Elena would choose death over immortality. Her hand tightened around Elena’s, just a fraction, as if holding her closer could convince her to stay.
“It wasn’t part of the plan,” Elena admitted in a whisper, still not trusting her voice entirely, “but I guess it doesn’t matter what I was planning, now. I wasn’t meant to wake up, but of course the universe isn’t done with torturing me yet.” She shot Rebekah a wry smile, her tears already drying in streaky tracks down her cheeks.
“Darling, I didn’t know you considered me your whole universe,” Rebekah winked, before blushing and covering her mouth. “I mean –”
She was cut off by Elena’s snort of laughter, a genuine sound –miles away from the hysterical laughter from earlier– that she wasn’t sure she had ever heard before. She wanted to hear it again.
“Where are we going?”
“I’m taking you back to the mansion. I doubt your fridge at home is stocked with human blood, and you have a decision to make.”
Elena swallowed uncomfortably at the mention of blood, suddenly aware of the overbearing pressure in her gumline and the dry burn that razed its way down her throat.
She was distracted enough that she didn’t ask questions when Rebekah pulled out her phone and quickly shot off a text.
Need to fix something. Coming home. Don’t be weird about it.
Elijah had squinted at his phone for a moment before shrugging and glancing back to his newspaper. He frowned down at the report of Matt Donovan’s truck driving off of Wickery Bridge, his heart sinking.
Elena had found the drive to be less overwhelming than she had feared, the confined space and Rebekah's hand in hers keeping her protected from the vast world of sounds and scents and everything that now threatened to drive her insane. It would have been reasonable for her to be wary of cars so soon after another accident, but Rebekah's solid presence was enough to keep her grounded, even as they weaved through the streets of Mystic Falls at a pace that could hardly be described as legal.
She had managed to focus briefly on Elijah, sitting at a polished marble kitchen island with an upside-down newspaper, forcing a smile for him before Rebekah had led her away to her bedroom. It was clear that Klaus had been responsible for the minimal furnishings, while the succeeding decoration screamed of Rebekah’s touch; dated trinkets from the last decade that she had been awake sat atop her dresser, designer clothes were scattered on the bed and hung from the desk chair, a sprawling spread of glossy teen magazines lay across the floor, each open to a different glamorous outfit. Elena wondered for a moment when it was that she had come to know Rebekah quite this well.
There was something infinitely familiar about the room, and oddly charming; it reminded Elena of her own bedroom, and the childhood sleepovers that she had been to at Bonnie’s house or Caroline’s. It felt a little more like home than she was expecting, and when Rebekah patted the space on the mattress next to her, it felt strangely natural to go and sit beside her, sinking into the soft pillows with a sigh.
“Why are you being nice to me?” Elena probably wouldn’t have asked so plainly on a normal day, but her head was spinning with the events of the last few hours.
Rebekah looked across at her oddly. “Well, it might not be my blood in your veins that brought you here, but it is my fault that you’re faced with this particular decision, Elena.”
“So, it’s out of obligation? I’m your responsibility because it’s your fault that I might turn?” The idea stung, and Elena’s newly enhanced emotions made the pain physical, her body flinching away from the girl beside her.
“I suppose that’s part of it.”
“What’s the other part?” The slightest glimmer of hope was magnified, recklessly pushing aside the potential rejection. She tried not to let it show in her eyes, but her handle on her new elevated senses wasn’t quite enough to hide her vulnerability. Fortunately, Rebekah's own anxiety clouded her vision.
“I … Do you remember, that night when you gave me back my locket? We were standing in front of the mirror together, and –”
“You looked totally gorgeous. And then I stabbed you in the back.” Elena winced. “Sorry,” she muttered, looking down, the guilt resurfacing and nipping at her until Rebekah interrupted her thoughts again.
“Right, yes, all that; I think we can call it even, considering I did just kill you?” Elena nodded with a faint smile. “What I meant though, was before your hideous and cruel and utterly undeserved betrayal, that moment. I felt like I finally had a friend, someone who cared about me. Does that make sense?”
Elena nodded. “Yeah, it does. I think that was the day that I really began to understand you.” She gave her a small smile. “So, you’re trying to be my friend?”
“I’m trying –” She broke off, taking a deep breath before starting again, straining to keep her voice even. “I’m trying to be supportive in whatever way you need. I don’t think you deserved to die either, you know.”
Elena blinked silently as Rebekah repeated back her own words from earlier.
Stefan had explained it to her long ago, when she first found out about vampirism: the way that a vampire’s feelings were kicked into overdrive in their transition. Nothing he said could have prepared her for the way that her mind was jumping from one emotion to another, each one turned up to full. She was on the verge of tears just at the suggestion that Rebekah cared the slightest amount for her life. She did her best to regulate herself, trying to stifle the sense of relief at having an ally in a world that suddenly felt out to get her.
“Rich coming from me, I know, considering. But it’s still true.”
Elena nodded, staring at a blank space on the wall as she tried to distance herself from her feelings. It didn’t work, especially not with Rebekah fighting to get her attention again.
“Elena?” She met Rebekah's waiting nervous eyes. “I won’t pressure you either way about your choice. I’ll answer any questions you have if I can. I would really like it if this wasn’t the end, though. After a thousand years of being subjected to their company, I can confidently tell you that anyone who can go toe to toe with my brothers is worth having around. Hell, anyone brave enough to stab Elijah , let alone argue with Klaus … Well, you get my point. If you stick around, I’ll be here.” The girl sitting next to her didn’t feel one thousand years old, but just a naïve seventeen.
Elena allowed herself a soft smile. She couldn’t come up with the right words, so instead she stayed silent and leant on Rebekah's shoulder, listening to the slow beat of her pulse against her cheek.
“So, whose blood was it?”
Once Rebekah had gotten her into fresh clothes that weren’t saturated with the stench of now-dry river water, Elena had decided to spend her afternoon in the mansion’s living room, and her hostess had dutifully pulled all the curtains shut to keep out the irritating rays of sunlight. The only illumination in the room was from a slowly fading fire, although no one in the room wanted any more than that; the two Originals could see well enough in the low light, while Elena found the darkness soothing to her heightened senses. She sat with her feet tucked up on the sofa, losing herself in the crackling flames which brought up memories of her first death.
“It was Damon’s.” Elena wasn’t sure how she knew the answer to Elijah’s uncharacteristically tactless question, except that everything in her was certain.
Elijah’s eyebrow raised, clearly expecting Rebekah to have been the one to answer. “I didn’t realise that you and Mr. Salvatore were quite so … intimate,” he began, quickly clamping his mouth shut at Elena and Rebekah's twin looks of disgust. Rebekah’s quickly faded into a look of confusion as she turned to Elena.
“I didn’t tell you that. How did you …?” she muttered, before turning to Elijah. “She’s right. That doctor, Meredith Fell, likes to cheat at her profession, so she dosed up Elena just in time for her to come right back to life when she drowned.”
“A rather well-timed case of medical malpractice, then,” Elijah smirked, although he watched to make sure that this comment was better received.
“Sure.” Elena sounded indifferent, but there was a storm raging below. Elijah was familiar with that mask; he himself wore it often.
Rebekah shot her brother a warning glare. She hasn’t decided yet, it screamed. Elijah seemed to understand the non-verbal cue, once more becoming keenly interested in the book in his hands.
“How did Damon survive?” Elena suddenly asked. Rebekah tensed.
“How do you know that he did?” she asked, the same quizzical look on her face.
Elena shrugged, as if it was obvious. “I don’t know. I can just sense it, I guess.”
Rebekah and Elijah shared sharp looks out of Elena’s eyeline.
“It seems that it is possible that Niklaus was not being fully honest with you about siring the Salvatores’ line,” Elijah suggested, his relief visible when his words didn’t prompt another scornful response from one or both of them. “I am as surprised as anyone else; I was certain that he was being truthful.”
“Oh yeah, Klaus is known for his honesty,” Elena commented offhandedly, and both Elijah and Rebekah nodded in concession, “he’s practically a model citizen.” Elijah managed to hide his smirk at Elena’s heavy sarcasm, while Rebekah wore a Cheshire Cat-worthy grin at the obvious disdain for her brother.
“Our brother is often deceitful, but in this matter I believed him to be telling the truth,” Elijah admitted.
“As it is, it was only your hybrid friend who was affected,” Rebekah chimed in. “Pity, there were a few vampires in Katherine’s line that I was looking forward to not seeing again.”
Elijah rolled his eyes, while Elena studied the Original siblings from across the room. No one dignified the comment with a response, so silence settled between them, interrupted only by the occasional pop or crackle of the fire as it faded.
Elena was the one to speak up, her eyes narrowed at the book in Elijah’s hands. “You know, you might have more luck with reading that if it’s the right way up.” His smile was genuine at her teasing tone, weak as it was.
“Thank you. I will take your point of view into consideration.” That was twice now, although he wasn’t sure that she had noticed the newspaper.
“That sure makes a change,” she sighed, leaning her head back against the plush couch cushions. At his curious eyebrow, she went on, “I feel like every day of my life since vampires found their way into it, any opinion or choice I have has never been my own, it’s always theirs . Well, not all vampires,” she paused to smile at Elijah, “but all of my choices. Everything about me was always up for debate ever since that night …” She trailed off, her eyes glazing over.
Rebekah took her hand gently. “Elena, are you still with us?”
Elena’s gaze snapped back to the room just as quickly as it had left. “Damon compelled me.” She sounded almost completely numb. “He compelled me the night my parents died, and the day I first met you –” she glanced up at Elijah “– God, what if there’s more and I can’t even remember it?”
Rebekah was rubbing soothing circles into Elena’s palms. “It’s alright. This is just part of the transition. You’ll see anything that you were compelled to forget.”
It was hard to tell if Elena was still in the room with them, even as her physical form sat motionless. A few moments later, when her shoulders began to shake with hyperventilating breaths, Rebekah held her in her arms, rocking her back and forth as she whimpered sadly into her shoulder.
“I don’t trust him.” It was barely louder than a whisper, obscured by sobs and hiccoughs, but both Rebekah and Elijah heard it loud and clear.
“You don’t need to, darling. You don’t need to see him ever again if you don’t want to.”
Rebekah’s words were the tonic she needed, and she sank limply into the embrace, letting herself be shielded from the world.
Elena drifted in and out of consciousness in Rebekah's arms as the details of her compulsion came back to her in flashes of memory. Elijah spoke softly to his sister as she held Elena, observing the way her hands moved without thought to soothe her every time she stirred.
“What do I do, Elijah?” she asked finally, looking to him for advice the way she had been accustomed to for the past thousand years.
“Elena knows her mind. She is one of the strongest people I have ever met; the Petrova fire burns fiercely in her, even when she is at her weakest. All you can do is let her make her choice.” Elijah’s words of wisdom rang true, but they did nothing to ease Rebekah's nerves.
“What if she doesn’t choose to complete the transition? She never wanted to be a vampire – she even made her mind up yesterday to take her own life … I don’t want her to die .” Her voice faded to a whisper with her confession, and she fought the sting of tears that made her eyes glitter in the firelight.
Elijah decided against making a jab about the fact that she had been the one to facilitate Elena’s death when he caught sight of the pain in his baby sister’s face. “She will make her choice; she is strong in her convictions, but not above changing her mind. Either she will remain, or she will pass on. I don’t need to tell you that grief is an inevitable part of life, no matter if it is an immortal life like ours, or a human life. If she chooses to leave us, you will honour her with your grief.”
“Please, don’t leave me. I don’t want to lose you,” Rebekah murmured into Elena’s hair, and Elijah chose that moment to absent himself from the room, sensing that his part in the conversation was over.
The last of the sunlight was disappearing from behind the curtains, and Elena felt cold, weak, hungry, and tired.
“Darling, have you made a decision? You don’t have much longer left.” Rebekah stroked her hair, unmoved from her position cradling Elena to her chest on the couch.
“It was so much easier to decide yesterday,” Elena admitted. “The choice was simple. Everything is different now.”
“Things can be overwhelming at this stage. I barely remember my transition, it was over before I could even consider making a choice either way, thanks to our parents. They forced me to drink first …” She trailed off, her eyes growing distant for a moment, before remembering the moment. “You have a choice, though, Elena.”
Elena strained her neck to look up at Rebekah's face, searching for something there. “What’s the worst part of it? The thing you hate the most about being –”
“Immortal?” Rebekah's usual scornful tone was softer as she absently traced patterns on Elena’s upper arms. “Watching the world change around you and being forced to adapt so quickly; our inability to grow and change, even when we can manage to blend in. Sometimes I wonder if it even is possible for creatures like us, or if we’ll always be stuck, just as we were when we turned, or maybe a little worse.” She paused. “A lot worse.”
“Don’t you feel like living for a thousand years has changed you?” Elena’s voice was growing weaker.
“I know I’m different than I was as a human. I don’t know if I’m better.”
“I think you’re pretty good just now,” Elena whispered with a smile, making Rebekah flush prettily. “You know, when you’re not being a colossal bitch,” she teased, and Rebekah snorted.
“Well then, what are you waiting for?”
Elena’s eyes flickered back to the cooler laying on the table. Elijah had insisted it be within reach, while Rebekah had caved to Elena’s demand that the blood not be visible until she decided she wanted it, if that was what she did decide.
“Tell me the good bits?”
Rebekah smiled, absentmindedly stroking Elena’s hair as she told her little stories of her life; snippets of falling in love, seeing the world, meeting incredible people. It was rare that she even mentioned her vampirism in the stories, Elena noticed, except for when her brothers were involved. The stories trailed off into quiet as Rebekah noticed the rattle of Elena’s breath in her lungs, as if her body had finally realised that it had died almost a full day prior.
“Elena, darling. If you’d like to stay with us, now’s the time.”
Elena nodded, her hands shaking a little as she reached towards the cooler.
Rebekah was working out how best to cradle Elena and stand, but Elijah was at their side, a clear bag full of red liquid casually offered in his open hand, although the tension running through his forearm revealed his true state of mind.
“It’s up to you, Elena,” Rebekah told her quietly.
“I know, Rebekah. Thank you for letting me choose.” Her voice was dry and her breathing laboured as she sat up carefully. “Will you help me?”
“Always, darling,” Rebekah responded immediately. As weak as she was, Elena understood that the answer wasn’t just about helping her drink from a bag. Nor had her question been.
Ever so gently, Rebekah propped up Elena’s head against her own shoulder, taking the bag of blood in her hands to open the clasp and holding it to Elena’s lips.
A terrible moment of stillness hung in the air before Elena took her first sip, all three relieved when she gasped for air after draining the bag. Even after a few more pints, Elena still refused to leave Rebekah's arms.
Rebekah glowed smugly in the firelight, slowly relaxing as Elena warmed slightly in her arms. She let herself be soothed by the slow, steady pace of the new vampire’s heartbeat as it sounded against her ribs, matching her own.
There was no plan, just eternity stretching before them, and Elijah watching from the other end of the room, a soft look in his eyes as he regarded them both. Rebekah allowed him a smile before turning her attention back to Elena, getting lost in the sound of her soft, contented breaths.
The rest of the world disappeared as the fireplace grew dark, the glowing embers settling in the grate. Soon enough, the Petrova fire would emerge again, a phoenix from the cooling ashes. For now, it was enough to watch the embers come to rest, and to wait.