Chapter Text
His glazed-over eyes stung as he found himself staring at his phone. The bedroom was dimly lit, enveloping Izuku in darkness. Harsh blue light emitted from the screen carved out his facial features and provided a stark contrast betwee n the lightness of his face, and the rest of the room . He un-paused the Interview he’d been watching on his phone.
“So, Dynamight . If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask about one of your old classmates” The woman interviewing inquired politely.
“Go for it” Katsuki responded, looking intrigued.
“His name is Izuku Midoriya. I understand that you two were good friends, right?” He glared at the interviewer, hesitance evident in his Crimson red eyes. The energy between them became inexplicably tense. Katsuki let out a scoff.
“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
“R-right. So, how has he been lately? He showed some incredible heroism during the war against the Paranormal Liberation Front a few years ago. But since then, I hear he’s been pretty under the radar.” The interviewer trailed off.
“Almost like he vanished completely...” she hinted. He subconsciously tightened his hands into fists in his lap, as he stared at his shoes. "The nerd is fine. We haven’t talked recently, though.” he shrugged.
The woman seemed taken aback by his choice of words, and looked at him in surprise. “I’m sorry, you said... the nerd?” she chuckled nervously.
Suddenly, Katsuki felt a pair of disapproving eyes glaring at him from somewhere in the crowd. The hair on the back of his neck stood up. He scanned the crowd for the source, and eventually landed on a familiar figure. The camera followed his line of view and panned to the audience member’s face.
Best Jeanist
The man shook his head at him from the front row, with his arms crossed. The younger of the two simply rolled his eyes in response and straightened his posture, reluctantly.
“I mean, Izuku. Yeah. He’s good, I guess” he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.
“Could you…elaborate further on that?” she pried.
He could feel the blood boiling inside of him at her persistence. Can’t she take a hint, damn it?
Before Katsuki could explode at her, he remembered the years of makeshift media training that Best Jeanist forced him to do. Right, he needed to stay professional if he wanted to keep his spot as the #1 hero.
“Like I said, no one really knows what he’s doing right now. But I’m sure he’s fine. I’d know if he wasn’t” He glared at her with indignance.
The woman sighed, and dropped her shoulders in defeat.
Izuku’s thumb hovered over the pause button, but stopped as he saw Katsuki open his mouth to speak.
“But what I do know is that...” he started.
Izuku held his breath in anticipation.
“That Deku... he’s an amazing hero” he concluded with an unreadable expression, and he tugged at the collar of his white dress shirt. The buttons were only done up to just beneath his collarbones. He always hated the feeling of a shirt that was too tight at the neck.
Izuku’s eyes widened. He tried to suppress the warm tingling sensation that filled his chest upon hearing his words, as it was quickly replaced by a pit in his stomach.
The woman offered a small smile at him.
“Right.”
He finally hit pause, and returned his attention to his surroundings. He sat up from the cold, wood floor of his bedroom. The boy was exhausted, even though the clock only read 7:00 PM. He was so so tired, yet so painfully awake at the same time. The truth is, he’d felt that way for a while now.
It had been 4 years since the war. The memories of the things he’d seen and experienced haunted his dreams. He didn’t want to remember anything. Anything at all. But his efforts proved futile.
Cold, slack Crimson eyes. A blood-painted face.
He wasn’t exactly coping with what happened; all of it. Losing One For All, getting so many people he cared about caught in the crossfire, and failing to protect them. All Might, Aizawa Sensei, his classmates and... him.
He just couldn’t forgive himself for such a failure — for putting his loved ones through so much pain and stress, all because he was too weak to fix things properly. If only he had moved faster, thought faster, punched harder, then maybe, just maybe things would’ve been different. And Kacchan would’ve never died, even if only for a moment. He couldn’t live with the guilt anymore.
And so, the preparations were made. The 1-room apartment was clean for the first time in months. He paid back any money he owed to his mom or the bank. He sold his couch, the TV, the stove, the fridge, and his bedframe. He sold pretty much everything he owed, except a pile of All Might merchandise that he didn’t want to give away. It felt like throwing away All Might’s legacy, although in a way, he already had. A letter addressing his mother and All Might was left on the coffee table, to be found later.
With a knot in his stomach, and a lump in his throat, the man took one last look at his apartment. Izuku stayed there for a moment, thinking about the past few years he spent rotting away in there. Finally, he picked his feet up and began making his way to the top of the apartment building. Each step he took somehow felt like liberation and immense pain at the same time. Not physical pain, no. Something else.
With a simple push, the door to the rooftop opened easily.
“They should really install some locks up here...After I’m done, I mean” the former hero mumbled under his breath.
He took off his trademark red shoes, and carried them in his right hand. He was wearing a pair of black shorts, and the same white shirt he’d had since middle school. Slowly trudging towards the edge of the roof, his heart began to rattle inside his chest.
The man placed his shoes down, near the edge of the roof. He gazed at the view from the ledge. The city was still bustling, and faint car horns could be heard in the distance. So full of the life that his heart was lacking. There was a warm breeze that ruffled his emerald locks gently.
The way his mom used to. Back when he was a kid, and ran up to hug her.
The pit that was in his stomach seemed to triple in size, consuming his core entirely; leaving little space for any other emotion.
Oh god, his mom... what if she blames herself for this? Even though he explained it wasn’t her fault in the letter, he knew Inko; how she was. And what about All Might? His mentor. The only other adult in his life that believed in him when he was quirkless? The man who filled the void that his father left behind? He’d never forgive himself for letting this happen. He knew how much these two people loved him.
What about his friends? Iida, Todoroki, and Uraraka... he'd never even told them why he ghosted them. They probably still believed Izuku hated them, or left because of a personal vendetta. There was so much he was going through, and none of his classmates even knew.
He truly missed eating lunch with his friends. Sharing Soba with Shoto... studying with Iida... and gossiping with Uraraka after class. All those memories he had made with his peers at school were so precious to him. Everyone from his class were now living happy, successful lives. And there he was. The only one left behind, in everyone's shadows. They all shined so brightly, and he was... so dull in comparison.
He really couldn't see a future for himself anymore. He was tired of living the same day over and over. But despite the millions of reasons he had to die, he couldn't help but feel this contradiction in his gut. He had never hesitated to jump head-first into danger when someone else needed help; even without a quirk. However this... this was different . For the first time in his life, he felt true fear. There was no one to do this for, other than his own selfish reasons. To end his own misery.The adrenaline coursing through his veins were starting to make him heave roughly.
Izuku shook his head, with a shaky exhale. He pinched the bridge of his nose and grimaced. He couldn’t think about that now. He needed to do this.
Throwing his head back, he observed the sky and noticed the different hues of the sky blending together, like watercolor paint. Coral, lilac and orange.
Orange ... it reminded him of Kacchan. He would never see him again. He’d never hear his teasing remarks again, or his explosions. He’d never spar with him, and feel what its like to be his equal, or know he’d have someone to motivate him; to reach even greater heights, ever again. Izuku so deeply wished that he could gaze into his ruby irises once more, even if those very same irises once reflected back hatred for so long.
He couldn’t imagine life without Kacchan—But what about him?
Maybe he’d get by just fine without Izuku. Maybe his absence never made as much of an impact on Kacchans life, the way his did. Afterall, they’d gone so long without contact; years even, and he never once reached out. Even though the urge to call his childhood best friend up became all-consuming on some days. But it's not like thinking about Bakugo on a daily basis was anything new for him.
“Just pray that you'll be born with a quirk in your next life and take a swan dive off the roof of the building!”
The memory sent a shiver down the man’s spine. That’s right... this whole situation was so ironic. Sure, Kacchan was different now, and he knew he would never say anything like that anymore. He’d changed. Things were different now, and the man had shown some incredible growth and maturity compared to his younger days. Izuku couldn’t say he wasn’t grateful for his apology back during the war.
But still.
He wasn’t hurt by the ‘swan dive’ thing anymore... he was... almost nostalgic? Bittersweet in a twisted way? It was wrong, sure. But looking back, it was almost comedic that Kacchan predicted exactly how Izuku would die. Not as a hero, not as rival, but a useless, quirkless extra. Who knows? Maybe he really would be born with a quirk in his next life. And then maybe... just maybe—he wouldn’t have had to prove his worth to be seen as an equal by him.
When Izuku finally snapped out of his deep introspection, he saw that the sky had darkened significantly, and the sun was threatening to slip beneath the horizon at any moment. The hues of orange and coral that once tinged the clouds had long since disappeared, leaving behind only lilac and a deep lavender. Right, enough beating around the bush.
He let out a shaky exhale and tried to suppress his pounding heart. A million thoughts raced through his mind at once, leaving him disoriented; thoughts mainly of Bakugo and their time spent together. All in quick flashes, too short to decipher. The man’s breathing hitched as he peered over the edge, and stepped closer. There was only a sliver left of solid ground in front of his feet.
The tears streaming from his eyes blended together with the sweat beads rolling down his face. He could taste the saltiness of the tears so distinctly in his dry mouth.
The world around him came to a halt. The corners of his vision went blury.
He lifted his right foot in front of him, and began to shift his weight to that same leg, that was hovering over the ledge. Gravity’s force itched to pull him forward, as his body hinged over the rooftop.
“Young Midoriya!” an all-too familiar voice called out to him in horrified desperation.
Everything happened all at once.
Two firm hands gripped at Izuku’s shoulders so tightly, that he thought his shoulders might pop off the socket. With a sudden jolt, he was thrown back, and landed roughly on the cement flooring of the roof. The back of his head hit the ground and everything went black.
In an instant, he was transported inside the realm of One For all. 8 figures stood in front of him, in a uniform line. A look of pity and concern was displayed on everyone’s faces. A moment of silence passed before one of the figures slowly made its way towards Izuku.
All Might.
Even in his vestige form, the boy could make out the worry that wrinkled the older man’s eyebrows. He looked dejected and sorrowful. This time, All Might’s form seemed much more detailed and realistic than usual.
He reached his hands towards Izuku and pulled him close, enveloping him in a tight, fatherly hug. He could feel his mentor’s shoulders rattle. The mans fingers trembled as he tugged at Izuku’s shirt. Deku stood there, with his arms by his side as his chest rose and fell quickly.
“My boy... Oh Izuku, my boy” Deku didn’t recall ever hearing All Might’s voice sound so weak and miserable. It re-opened the pit in the young man’s stomach.
“All.. Might? Wha- what are—how am I here? I th- I thought-” he looked up at him.
“What were you thinking?! Why were you trying to… to end your life, young Midoriya!?”
“I- I uhm. I don't... I don't know. I just-” Izuku struggled to form coherent words and not enough oxygen was reaching his lungs. He heaved as he tried to breathe in and out, but to no avail. His breath pattern was erratic and fast-paced.
“Breathe! You can’t do this. I won’t allow it. I won’t let you go. Whatever is troubling you… We—we can fix it!” All Might’s lips quivered.
The shorter boy’s face was pale, and shocked. He stared up at his mentor with green, widened eyes, resembling an injured deer on the side of the road. Terrified, confused, in-pain. There was still so much youth left in those eyes, so much life and potential for change that Izuku couldn’t see on his own.
With a push, Midoriya broke free from the embrace and stumbled backwards. All Might would never understand. Why couldn’t he just go back to real life and finish the job? Why couldn’t he get what he so desperately wanted?
“I'm s-sorry All Might.. I just..” he gulped.
“Let me go. I need to do this. You don’t get it. I’ll see you here again when I’m done, s-so don’t worry, okay?” Izuku exclaimed.
Toshinori clearly couldn’t grasp what he was saying, or why he said it. He just had one goal:
Save Midoriya-shounen.
He lunged forward, towards Izuku and reached his hand out to him.
“Please!” All Might pleaded with the boy.
“Let me go!” Deku yelled, sending echoes through the desolate void of One For All. He smacked his mentor’s hand away, and right as they made contact, he opened his eyes, and found himself on the ground.
"Wha—what...just... happened? ‘M still…still ‘ere?" he lifted his trembling hands to ensure he really was alive, in the flesh. He didn't know how long he'd been out for, but the sun had long bid it's farewells. The neon lights of the city illuminated the skyline. His chest rose and fell in rapid succession.
He supported his weight onto his palms, and very slowly made his way into a standing position once again. He swore his knees would give out at any moment, but he forced himself to stand there, peering over the city.
Ok. I'm gonna do it for real this time. No chickening out. I'm ending this once and for all.
Tonight...
I'm Dying.
A twinge of pain stabbed through his chest. The urge to turn around... this feeling was consuming his core. Each heartbeat was reaching a deafening climax.
It took all the strength left in him to shift all his body weight into his right foot, as he stepped over the edge of the roof. This was it. For real now.
The sheer force of gravity brought him plummeting down the side of the building so fast, that he could feel his stomach rising into his throat. His body dropped down so easily. There was so resistance. Gravity’s brutality had welcomed him with open arms. it was then that Izuku realized;
He didn’t want to die. Not yet. He still needed to take care of something very important to him.
Not now. He couldn’t go like this.
But it was too late. He was far past the event horizon now. And there was nothing he could do about it.
He shrieked in terror from the top of his lungs. A raw, guttural scream, that echoed off the walls of the surrounding apartment buildings. His last spur of life before it was all over.
When suddenly, Blackwhip activated on its own, jolting him to the side roughly. The black tentacles of energy shot out of one of his hands and attached itself to the apartment building in front of him. The direction of descent switched abruptly, and he was flung towards the wall across the street. It was almost like Blackwhip was deliberately pulling him towards the wall as fast as possible.
Being flung through the air so fast the wind whipped against his ears, one thing became clear. A crash was inevitable, and he was set to die in mere seconds. He braced for impact, tensing every untrained muscle in his body.
Fwip!
His other hand sprawled out another string of energy and gripped onto his apartment’s wall, behind him.
“W-what!? How am I doing that? I thought I couldn’t use One For All anymore?! Are these... the embers?”
Izuku was now suspended in-between both buildings, connected to each structure by Blackwhip on both sides. He was strung up like a spider on a web, 40 meters in the air. With no way down safely, and no one around to rescue him. He tried to use his quirk to shoot out another web of energy to try and find another way back to the ground. But he’d reached his limit. His body wouldn’t listen, and he couldn’t use his quirk willingly. The embers had officially died out, and he could see the tentacles’ opacity begin to fade.
One For All was slipping away. For good this time. The tentacles would disappear, and he would fall to his death. He needed to think, fast.
Think... C'mon Deku.
A loud explosion could be heard below him. Orange and persimmon lights blinded Izuku, causing him to squint reflexively.
An unidentified force swept him up, and carried him bridal-style through the air. A series of smaller explosions followed suit.
He was so exhausted from trying to use what was left of his quirk, that he couldn’t find the energy to turn around and see the face of this mysterious savior, embracing him in their arms.
But he recognized that scent. Like the back of his hand. The sweet smell of nitroglycerin.
The explosion... this smell... Could it be?
“Kacchan?!"