Brothers

by Irbo

Summary:

'Last time we all made the mistake of leaving each other when we needed each other the most. This time...we'll stay together.'

This lasted all of a day before a cold and terrible truth forced them apart again. Scattered, demoralized and burdened with guilt, will five old friends find their way back to each other? Most importantly, will two brothers recover the trust and love they once had for each other?

A post good ending fic centered around Hero and Kel (though the others will get a turn eventually!) and their struggles to recover what they have lost. Though the past will never return, a new day beckons.

Chapter 1: Henry and Kelsey

Shirts. Pants. Underwear. Socks. Shoes. Toothbrush. Textbooks. So many textbooks. He'd unpacked all this stuff only a week ago, but Hero couldn't muster up any kind of amusement at the situation. A month ago, he'd been excited to come back from a busy year of college to spend time with his family and hang out with his little brother, who wasn't so little anymore. When Kel had called him the day before he left and gushed about finally managing to lure Sunny out of his house, Hero had even allowed himself to think that this would be a summer of reconnecting, of paving over old roads.

Instead, it had become a living hell. So here he was, repacking everything and going back to college to stay for the rest of the summer. Responding to the situation in the only way he knew how – running.

He just couldn't take it anymore. Sunny's morbid confession at Basil's bedside had tossed him right back to square one. The years he'd spent trying to forgive himself for not noticing any signs of what Mari was about to do had been for nothing, because Mari hadn't done anything. She wasn't the one who took herself from him. That honor went to her little brother, a boy Hero had once considered close to a brother himself.

Hero zipped up his suitcase and stood up, facing the window. The angle he stood at gave him a nice full view of the stump that had once been the tree Mari had – no, Basil had hanged Mari from. Hero clenched his jaw and turned away. Basil. Another ex-brother. Kel had told him at some point that Basil had ended up in a psychiatric hospital for what he'd done to Sunny, and to himself. Hero just hoped the hospital knew who they had on their hands.

The worst part, though, was home. Kel was suffering, and even someone like Hero, living inside his head more than outside these days, could see it. His side of the room got progressively dirtier, and Hero no longer had the energy to help him clean. Whenever the two looked at each other, Hero saw no light in his brother's eyes, and it hurt even more because he knew it was the same the other way around as well. His little brother had always looked up to him, always turned to him first when something was wrong. Now, when Kel needed him, Hero was gone. Again. Soon to be literally. The only saving grace was that Kel himself was spending less and less time at home. See no evil. There was only so much staring at the consequences of his own failures he could take before he snapped. Luckily his college had a relatively lenient summer residence policy.

Hero sat down at his desk and wrote out a quick note to his parents. It was a weak and unsatisfying explanation for why he'd suddenly decided to up and leave after only a month, but it would have to do. Really it was only to assure them – and Kel – of where he was going, that he would be safe. The truth had already waited nearly four years. What was a little longer? At least he'd only have to deal with his parents' shock and dismay over the phone later, instead of in person. Another little act of cowardice he indulged himself with. Add it to the list.

With a grunt, Hero picked up his backpack, grabbed his suitcase, and headed for the stairs. He'd picked the ideal time. His parents were out with Sally and Hector at the park, and wouldn't be back for hours. Hero carefully placed his note on the dining table and walked to the front door, stepping lightly as if anyone was around to hear him. That was his parents sorted, he thought as he opened the door. The only remaining task was not to be spotted by…

…Kel, standing in the driveway, basketball tucked under his arm. Wherever he'd been, he'd clearly been pushing himself – he was red in the face and breathing hard. It only took him a second to realize what was going on, and his blank expression sagged into one of begging disbelief. His basketball fell from his arm, rolling slowly out onto the road.

"Hero…" he murmured, his eyes beginning to shine. "You…you're not… why , Hero?"

Hero couldn't even bear to look at him. He kept his eyes fixed on the asphalt and walked forward. "I'm sorry," he muttered in return, but he was so quiet he wasn't certain Kel had even heard him.

"Again?" Kel asked, louder this time. "You're going to leave me again ? You promised." He moved to stand in Hero's path. Hero pretended to find something terribly fascinating about Kel's shoes. His hands clenched his bags so tightly it hurt.

"I need you, H-Hero," Kel tried, his voice cracking. "I need your help." Each word sent stabs of pain through Hero's heart. A good brother would have dropped his bags right there and then and hugged Kel. Luckily Hero had dropped that description a long time ago.

"Talk to Aubrey," Hero replied, hating the words as soon as they left his mouth. "She's probably feeling the same way as you. You should…you should talk to her."

"I don't know where she is!" Kel shouted, making Hero wince a little. "I haven't seen her since the hospital. And yeah, Hero, you're right. She probably is feeling the same way as me. That means we both need you! But you're…you're just…" Kel was now heaving, trying to control the tears coursing down his cheeks. "What…what am I supposed to tell Mom and Dad? They're going to…they're going to ask me things…they're going to think…"

"I left a note," Hero muttered. "It's on the table." Kel didn't respond to that, but Hero could hear his strained breathing. He obviously wasn't going to move. So Hero committed his last and greatest betrayal.

After that day, years ago, when he'd reduced Kel to a crying wreck in a fit of rage and despair, Hero had promised himself one thing, over and over again – never again would he lay a hand on his brother. It was the one commitment that kept him attached to the delusion that he was a good person, a good older brother. Because good brothers don't hit. Luckily Hero had dropped that description a long time ago.

It was only a slight push to the side, but Kel stumbled away as if he'd been punched. Hero didn't stay to witness what he'd done. Instead he walked quickly away, Kel's cries blocked out by the rolling of the wheels of Hero's suitcase on the concrete. Hero shut his eyes and took in a few deep breaths as he walked. In ten minutes he'd be on a bus and out of Faraway Town, this time for a long while. Just ten more minutes of misery, and then he would be alone again, away from everything. At least until his parents called.

Suddenly, Hero's musings were interrupted by a loud bang, followed by the screech of tires. His blood froze in his veins, and he stopped dead.

Surely not…

He turned around. When he saw that it had only been Kel's basketball, exploding after being run over by a passing car, that terrible cold lifted a bit. But then he caught sight of Kel's face, a fright mask of terror, guilt and pain. He was reaching both arms out towards Hero, like a baby calling for its mother. His eyes were shattered, shining, tears brimming. Within half a second, Kel's face had seared itself into Hero's memory. At this point any good person would have stopped what they were doing and run back to Kel. It was Hero's last chance to do the right thing, and he knew it. But he turned away anyway, and kept walking.

Just ten more minutes and he could return to a place that didn't reek of death and broken dreams. Sure, he'd still have the nightmares, the memories, the regrets. But at least he could pretend to be someone else who hadn't done and felt all those things. Everyone he knew at college called him by one name and one name only.

Henry.

***

Kel stared at the mess of what had once been his basketball, now reduced to a few strips of rubber on the road. He clenched his jaw and stepped out onto the road to pick them up. Mom would get on his case about this if he didn't get rid of the evidence. But what did it matter? Mom was going to get on his case anyway now that the golden boy was gone. Kel looked off in the direction his brother had disappeared in, and his vision clouded over with tears again.

"I hate you," he whispered, too quietly for anyone to hear. Nobody was around to feel awful about saying it but himself. An image flashed in his mind's eye of Hero standing in front of him, listening to him say it, with that miserable look on his face he sometimes had. He felt a weird rush about imagining Hero wilting as Kel laid into him, but the disgust and guilt wasn't far behind. What was he doing? This was his brother. Kel loved him. Kel would never do or say anything like that to him.

He was better than that.

Standing there on the sidewalk, it came to him just how lonely he felt. Sunny was gone. Hero was gone. Basil was…somewhere, and nobody knew when he'd be back. If ever. Aubrey should have been around, but wasn't. It was just him. If the old group hadn't been dead before, it certainly seemed like it now. Hell, only two of them were even in Faraway right now. Kel found his mind drifting to Aubrey. He wondered what she was doing right now. At least she had her Hooligans. Maybe they were off somewhere beating up another innocent kid. That seemed to be her favorite form of release.

"Fuck you," Kel whispered, but felt bad about it again immediately. He grimaced and clenched his fists. Why couldn't he even let himself indulge just a bit? Why did these pictures of their hurt faces need to keep swirling around in his mind? Kel dropped the scraps of ex-basketball and rubbed his eyes viciously, trying to scrub the thoughts away. With a sigh he traipsed back up to the house and went inside. Nothing to do now but wait for the other shoe to drop.

It took hours for them to come back. Dad must have been grilling for half the citizens of Faraway at the park. As always, Hector's frenzied barks announced their return. "Kel!" his mother called as she came in. "Are you here? I saw one of your basketballs on the road. You need to be more careful, mijo ! What if you had run out after it? Go and pick it up and put it in the bin. Ah…alright, alright, Sally, I'll put you down. You've had a very long day, haven't you? Hector, I swear by all that is holy, if you don't…"

Then everything went quiet. Kel, who had been lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling for who knew how long, sighed and got up. They'd found the note, then. He trudged out of his room to the stairs, and heard frantic conversation from the kitchen. Suddenly his mother appeared at the foot of the stairs, brandishing the piece of paper in her hand. The look in her eyes was wild. "Kelsey, what is this! What did you do to Hero? Why is he gone? Did you two fight?"

"We didn't fight," Kel replied, voice devoid of emotion. It felt like he'd used all his tears up for the next few months. "He got sad again. So he left."

"Sad again?" his mother repeated in disbelief as Kel walked down the stairs towards her. He headed past her into the living room, where his dad was standing by the phone, desperately punching in numbers.

"He's not picking up," he said, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "I've already rung him three times. Hero, where in God's name are you?"

"It's a long bus ride. He's probably asleep." Why was Kel still covering for his brother? Everyone in the room knew full well that he wasn't picking up because he didn't want to.

"This is about the hospital, isn't it?" his mother said. "He barely left his room once you got back. Neither of you went to see Sunny off when he left, and neither of you ever called Basil's caretaker to see how he was doing. What happened, Kelsey? And don't you dare lie to me again."

Oh, so when he lied, it was a crime. But Hero could lie with every word that came out of his mouth, say that they'd always stick together, that he was doing okay, and that they'd all come together to talk about it eventually, and that was totally fine. Why wouldn't it be? Why would the golden boy ever need to be kept to his promises? Kel's mouth settled into a firm line. "I told you what happened the first time. Basil wasn't doing well, and that's why he hurt Sunny. Because he was leaving."

There was fire in his mother's eyes now. "Liar. If that was it, you would have been all over Sunny. But you never even asked about him again after that. Tell me the truth, Kelsey, or you'd better get used to seeing these four walls for a long, long time."

It seemed like Kel was wrong about having used up all his tears for a while – he'd found a fresh reservoir. "F-fine!" he yelled, growling as his voice cracked. He hated how talking to his mother always made him sound like a whiny kid. Whenever they had a conversation it was like he was twelve years old again. But he couldn't help it. And then it suddenly all boiled over.

"Why don't you ask Hero, huh? He lied to you too. He said exactly the same thing I did! But I guess it's okay when he does it, because he's Hero. He can do anything he wants and you'll still love him more than me. If he came back right now you'd forgive him straight away, because at least you'd have your precious Hero back. If it was me running, you'd probably just…wait for me to come back by myself!"

"Kel…" came his dad's voice from somewhere behind him, but his mom wasn't about to let him get between Kel and his punishment. "Go to your room," she said, pointing to the stairs. "And don't you dare show your face down here again until you're ready to apologize for all those horrible things you said. Go!"

Kel was a complete mess now, red in the face and sobbing, fists clenched. He tried to think of something else nasty to say, but he couldn't hold a thought for more than half a second before it dissolved into directionless emotion. Without another word, he stomped up the stairs to his room and closed the door behind him, making sure to give it a good slam. He was risking a second lecture with that move, but by that point he was beyond caring. It wasn't like she could make him feel any worse.

He faceplanted into his pillow and lay there for a while, simply listening to the world around him. It was still mostly quiet downstairs, aside from the occasional nervous chatter or a shriek from Sally. At some point, someone let Hector out into the backyard and he snuffled around underneath Kel's window before running off to bark at something in the underbrush. Every so often, a car drove past. As the light dimmed, the wind picked up and the trees began to sigh in chorus. The draught was making him cold, so he got up to close the window. For a moment he stared into Sunny's backyard, letting the terrible memory of that day wash over him. Then he closed the window, drew the curtains and returned to his bed. He wasn't planning on experiencing the humiliation of going down for dinner, so he simply lay there, his body twitching as it attempted to burn off the excess energy.

After what felt like forever, Kel's eyes finally began to droop, and the torrent of thoughts coursing through him slowed to a trickle. He curled up as he remembered everything he'd said, and another sob escaped him. He'd never let loose about Hero like that before. It wasn't fair. He loved Hero, and Hero loved him right back.

But not enough to stay with you. Not enough to stop him from running away again.

Kel pinched himself and pulled the blankets up over his head. Maybe tomorrow, somehow, things would be better.

***

It was a brisk autumn day, and Hero was uncomfortably cold even in his full suit. He adjusted his tie, tried unsuccessfully to smooth down his flyaway hairs, and left the house to head over to Sunny and Mari's place. Weirdly, he couldn't hear either the piano or the violin. He thought the pair would have been practising nonstop for the recital today. Hopefully nothing was wrong.

The front door swung open as Hero approached. As soon as he stepped inside, he heard the shouting. He rushed to the foot of the stairs to see Mari at the top, yelling at her brother as he shrank back against the far wall. A violin lay shattered against the bottom step.

"You can't do this now, Sunny!" Mari screamed. "It's…the recital is in a few hours! What am I going to tell our parents? What am I going to tell the others? They all worked so hard to get that violin for you! I can't believe you would be so irresponsible!"

Sunny closed his eyes and yelled right back at her. "I don't want to play! I hate it! I'm not as good as you. Go away!" He tried to make a break for their room, but Mari moved to block his way.

"You're not going anywhere…"

A shove, and Mari was falling. Time slowed to a crawl. Hero charged up the stairs, holding his arms out and catching her in flight. The impact nearly sent him down with her, but he braced with his back foot and held on. It was quiet for a moment. Sunny stared down from the top of the stairs, eyes wide and bulging as he realized what he'd just done. Mari was unmoving in Hero's arms, and for a moment Hero feared that somehow the worst had happened. But then Mari turned, locked her arms around him, and began to sob into his chest. Sunny, too, burst into tears and ran down to hug his sister, babbling out apologies. Hero gently set Mari down and gathered the both of them into his arms. Sure, the violin was still broken, and the recital was as good as over, but that was nothing Hero couldn't figure out. Mari and Sunny's parents were reasonable people. If Hero just explained to them what happened, everything would be alright. Maybe he'd take all his friends out for Gino's tonight instead, and keep all the formalwear on. That would be fun…

Henry's eyes fluttered open. It was still dark outside, and only the soft hum of the air conditioning in his dorm room and the occasional passing car disturbed the quiet of the early morning. The city was sleeping. Henry was not.

He barely even felt the tears as they rolled down his cheeks to stain the pillow beneath him. Those were always the worst dreams, the ones where he saved everyone. Waking up from them was a stab to the heart. Of course, before he knew the truth, those dreams involved him convincing Mari a life with him was worth living. Sometimes he'd even dreamed himself talking Mari down from the tree in some kind of ghoulish, self-indulgent drama. Now he knew, and his dreams adjusted accordingly. But the pain of waking up remained the same. He hadn't saved anyone. Not even his own brother, who he'd left to fend for himself. Hero would have saved everyone. But Henry hadn't.

Henry checked the bedside clock. A little before four in the morning. Dad would be proud. Well…maybe not. If he told his parents he was getting this little sleep, they'd probably kidnap him from the dorms. He'd only barely managed to prevent them running after him the night he left, in a phone call where Henry said so many lies he felt like his jaw was physically aching. He hadn't asked to talk to Kel, and apparently Kel hadn't asked to talk to him either. It was only fair, he supposed.

Oh well. As good a time as any to revise some of last year's material. He could still be a good student, even if he couldn't be a good brother, friend or son. Luckily he didn't have a roommate to yell at him about it – even with all the summer residents crammed into a single building, Henry still hadn't gotten a roommate. This was not a popular place to stay over summer, apparently. Anyone with a life to live would be out there and doing things. But Henry hadn't had a life to live since Mari had lost hers.

Bleary-eyed, he stumbled over to his desk, turned on the light, and sat down. The biology textbook was already sitting in front of him, invitingly open. He rubbed his eyes and got to work.

Chapter 2: Another Day

Summary:

Henry gets a roommate, and Kel gets worried about another lost friend.

Notes:

I am a filthy liar and posted this chapter three days after the last one when I said a week, but honestly I just wanted to give people a better sense of how everything is gonna go down. Next one definitely won't be for a week because I do not write fast enough to maintain a twice-a-week schedule, even with writing ahead :)

The rest of Henry's summer passed by in a dream. He woke up, usually at around four in the morning, brushed his teeth – personal hygiene was a non-negotiable – and then studied more or less continuously until he physically could not hold off the urge to sleep any longer, which usually happened at around eleven or midnight. He might have some cereal for breakfast, and a frozen meal for either lunch or dinner, but usually he wouldn't have both. The only times he left his room were to go stock up on frozen stuff – the food at the cafeteria wasn't exactly gourmet, but mainly he didn't want to risk having to talk to anyone else in the building. And cooking was well beyond his abilities right now.

The sleep deprivation left him feeling half-drunk pretty much constantly, but Henry hated sleeping. Every time he closed his eyes was psychological torture. He'd recall the day of the recital, or the night at Basil's house where he walked in on that nightmare of blood, with Sunny bleeding from his eye and Basil from his stomach, where he'd buried his shears. Sometimes he'd dream of Kel's broken-hearted expression as he left him on the sidewalk outside their house, and he'd wake up and throw up in the bathroom. The worst dreams, the ones of memories before Mari was killed, or the ones where he saved the day, would leave him lying insensate in his bed for hours afterwards, simply letting the tears flow.

It wasn't quite what he had done in the year after Mari's death, but it was close enough. Henry knew his body was screaming at him to stop. When he looked into the bathroom mirror and saw his sunken expression, or took his shirt off and noticed he was starting to be able to count ribs, he retained enough of the logical corner of his brain to realize that what he was doing was incredibly stupid. But he just couldn't bring himself to stop, even when his breathing became labored and his vision blurred as he bent over his textbooks. As long as he was doing something that wasn't sleeping and wasn't confronting the monsters in his mind, he was content.

His parents called most days. Henry told them the same thing pretty much every time.

"Just studying, Ma. I've got a lot of stuff to do before the year starts." True, but felt like a lie the way he said it.

"Yes, I'm doing alright. I've been eating fine. I cook for myself sometimes." Lie.

"Yes, I'll come back over winter break, don't worry." Lie, probably. He couldn't imagine wanting to see Faraway again. Of course, he couldn't stay away forever, but…

"Yes, I'm talking to people, Ma. I still have my friends from freshman year." Lie. He had met some cool people last year, that much was true. He'd gone out to parties with his roommate a couple of times. But he had never had any intention of keeping contact with them over the break. Even more so now. They weren't friends, really. The one person he did want to talk to was the one he couldn't possibly bring himself to.

"Oh, Kel's not there? That's okay. There's always tomorrow."

And then all of a sudden August was almost over, and the campus was full to bursting with people. Getting everything sorted in preparation for his first classes helped Henry take his mind off things. Plus, he had to switch rooms now, to the one he'd be sharing with his new roommate for the year. The prospect unnerved him a bit. He probably wouldn't be able to get away with waking up at four every day to study. And if one of his attacks happened, the ones that left him curled up on the floor, gasping for breath…

At least the room was pretty nice. There was a lot of natural light, and the walls here didn't seem to be quite as thin as they were in his room last year. Whenever the guys in the room over had decided to have one of their weed-fuelled marathon gaming sessions, Henry had been able to hear everything loud and clear – and smell everything loud and clear, as well. He was lucky his parents had never visited on one of those days, or they'd have skinned him. Good times.

Henry was busy folding his clothes to put in the wardrobe when he heard a knock at the door. Assuming it was his new roommate, he hurried over to open up, only to be confronted by a familiar unmoving face.

"Oh…Bowen!" he said, his voice coming out peppier than he felt. "I didn't realize you were studying here. Are you my roommate for the year?"

It was strange. Despite Bowen being from Faraway, Henry still felt better about sharing a room with him than with a total stranger. Close enough to know not to pry, but distant enough not to carry any bad memories. He'd gotten to know Bowen and Daphne a bit over the years – they'd been in the same cohort at school, and he'd spent one summer working part-time in their parents' bakery alongside them. Their enthusiasm for baking was a bit frightening at times, but they were lovely people. He remembered Bowen not talking very much: Daphne was usually the one to speak for both of them.

Bowen's expression softened on recognizing him. "Oh…hello, Hero. Yes, I will be in this room. Would you like some fresh bread?"

It was only then that Henry noticed he was carrying a container. Inside was, of course, a loaf of bread. "Gladly," he said, taking the box. It'd be the first fresh meal he'd had in ages. "Is Daphne here as well?" he asked, showing Bowen into the room.

"No," Bowen sighed, putting his bags down next to his bed. "Our parents wanted one of us to have a business management degree. Daphne was kind enough to let me be the one to come here. Oh, I miss her. And my little brother. But here I am able to see the world. Meet new people, have new experiences. It's all very exciting."

"That's the spirit," Henry said, cracking a smile. "I'm sure you'll like it here. But you'll see it's a lot different from Faraway. Lots more people, for a start."

Bowen closed his eyes and smiled slightly. "Oh, it will be an adventure. But I will admit, I'm relieved I'll be staying with you, Hero. I was afraid that my roommate would find me to be a bit…strange. But I'm more comfortable now knowing it's you."

"Don't mention it," Henry replied, trying not to wince at the second use of that nickname he'd come to hate beyond reason. "And I think you'll find that people aren't so bothered about things like that up here. You can be as weird as you want. Although you might not have as many opportunities for baking as you'd like." He nodded towards the little kitchenette, which was no more than a single stovetop and a small oven. Bowen's face fell as he took in the scene, and Henry had to chuckle.

"Hey, it's not so bad. There's a communal kitchen for each floor. It's a bit dirty, but not too many people are using it most of the time so you should still get some time to do your thing. And with how good your bread is, I'm sure you'll end up being pretty popular around here. Being a halfway decent cook is an easy ticket to any college student's heart."

Bowen hummed. "Perhaps. Thank you for the tips, Hero. I shall consider bringing gifts of fresh bread to the others on our floor."

There it was again. Henry scratched his neck. Should he mention it? He didn't want to make a scene over something so inconsequential, but every time Bowen said that name it felt like a punch to the face. And if other people in the dorm caught on and started using it as well…

"Just…ah, just one more thing, Bowen."

Bowen's eyes, a brown so light it was almost yellow, flicked to him curiously. "Yes?"

"If you could…well…I'd…I'd just feel better if you called me Henry. Ah, no offence to you, of course. It's not that…you know, it's not just you I'm saying that to. I would just…prefer to be called Henry around here. The other name is more of a Faraway thing. I hope that's not too much of a problem for you. Sorry to bring it up but…well, yeah."

Bowen stared at him for a long moment. Henry found himself shrinking slightly under his gaze. It felt a bit like he was being studied, analyzed like a mathematical problem. He wondered how much Bowen knew. Surely Basil's fight with Sunny was common knowledge around the town now. It had been months since then. Was Basil back already? Had Kel or Aubrey told anyone what had really happened? Had Sunny made an appearance? Henry found himself sinking into the possibilities, wondering, worrying…

"Of course, Henry," Bowen said eventually, his expression giving nothing away. "That's no problem for me. Now, where should I put all my things?"

Henry showed Bowen around and gave him space to set up his side of the bedroom. Henry's side was pretty sparsely decorated – just a corkboard with some charts and notes pinned to it, and a photo of him and Kel on the day he graduated high school in the back corner of his desk. He'd had that photo on his desk in his room last year as well, and couldn't bring himself to put it away somewhere, even though he hated looking at it. Besides that, there was only one other item of personal significance Henry took with him from Faraway, and that one stayed safely in his wallet where nobody else would ever see it.

Bowen, on the other hand, seemed to have brought a lot of stuff along with him. There was a bowl of sourdough starter that found its home on the countertop – Henry hoped he wouldn't end up accidentally knocking it over at some point. There were a few odd motivational posters that all seemed to have religious theming, as well as a crucifix over the head of Bowen's bed. There were a lot of pictures of him and Daphne at the bakery. And, finally…a Sweetheart poster? Henry could barely believe his eyes.

Bowen glanced behind him at Henry as he put that poster up, and Henry could have sworn he started to blush. "Ah…I hope you don't mind. I must admit I'm a bit of a fan. I can take it down if you're having friends over…"

"No way," Henry replied, grinning. "Embrace it! If anybody makes fun of you for it, it's their loss. And this is all part of the fun of living with someone else. You learn things about them that you never would have known otherwise. And some say you even end up learning things about yourself that you didn't know before."

The corners of Bowen's lips twitched upwards. "Thank you, Henry. There will be a new Sweetheart film premiering near the end of the year. I've always wanted to watch a film in a proper city cinema."

"I know a good one nearby. Oh, yes, that reminds me. You're probably going to want to know where things are in the city as well. I remember the tour of campus being pretty good, but it's no fun staying here the whole time. I can show you around sometime if you want."

Bowen hummed again. "Indeed. Perhaps not now, though. It is quite late, and I am starting to feel hungry…for a fresh meal. Let me see what I can find."

"Yeah, cafeteria food can be a bit miserable sometimes. But the fridge probably isn't going to have what you're looking for…"

Bowen, it seemed, had already figured that out for himself. He was staring into the fridge, stacked bottom to top with frozen supermarket meals. There was a definite frown on his face now, and he turned back to look at Henry. He had that penetrating look again, the one that made Henry feel like he was under lights. "These are all frozen meals," he stated.

"Uh…yeah," Henry replied. "I know it's not great for me, but, you know…things have been busy. There's been a lot of stuff I've needed to read up on before term starts. You know how it is. Just haven't had the time to cook for myself."

"And you haven't been eating at the cafeteria?" Bowen asked. Henry looked away. It was a bit embarrassing how easily Bowen had caught him out on that. Again Henry found himself wondering how much Bowen knew.

Bowen turned back to the fridge and stared into it for a while, chewing his lip. There was about ten seconds of uncomfortable silence before he spoke again. "We will cook dinner, I think. Perhaps you can show me this communal kitchen we have. I think this will be…fun."

"What? Like, right now?"

Bowen's tone brooked no argument. "Yes. I think this will be a good thing for both of us. But I believe we will be needing fresh ingredients. If you could lead me to the nearest supermarket?"

Henry hesitated for a moment, but caved. He'd never been good at turning down things like this. If Bowen wanted to cook with him, who was he to say no? It would be a good bonding experience for them – they'd be sharing a space for the next year, after all. And somewhere in his subconscious he recognized the same truth Bowen had: he needed this. Something to get out of the awful rot that had left him looking like a walking corpse.

"Alright then," he said. "There's a pretty good one close by. It might be busy right now with all the students coming in, but it'll have what you need. Let's get going."

And he had to admit he was enjoying himself. Nobody else was crazy enough to screw around with the communal kitchen on their first day of college, so he and Bowen had the place all to themselves. Bowen had decided on a relatively simple stew for their first collaborative work, so the kitchen was filled with the unrivalled smell of bubbling broth. Bowen was clearly in his element, bustling around and keeping watch on everything like a pro. Henry, on the other hand, was pretty obviously rusty. While measuring out the flour, Henry made the mistake of tipping the bag too far, leading to an avalanche and a big cloud of flour that covered his face and hair. Bowen giggled when he saw it – a wheezing, high-pitched noise Henry had never heard him make before.

"You look like a pop star," Bowen said, smiling as he pointed at Henry's hair. "What do they call that…frosted tips? Like Justin Timberlake."

"Yep," Henry snorted. "That's me. Just like Justin Timberlake. I didn't realize you were so in with the times, Bowen."

"Daphne enjoys listening to NSYNC," Bowen explained. "She plays their records at least once a day. Sometimes twice. Sometimes thrice. She was quite upset when they went on hiatus, but she tells me she knows they'll get back together. She has a poster of Justin in our room."

"'Justin', huh? You like him as well?"

Bowen smiled demurely. "A little. Now, please put the flour in. If we leave the meat to boil for too long, it will become tough and flavorless."

"Yes, chef!" Henry replied, measuring out the flour properly this time. As he worked, though, he was beginning to feel the first signs of tiredness coming over his body. He hadn't exerted himself like this in months. That wasn't good. The sun had barely gone down. He handed over to Bowen for the final part of the process and fixed himself an instant espresso from the machine nearby. It was nasty stuff, but well worth it to delay him sleeping. The longer he slept, the more he'd dream – and the more he'd wake up in between, crying silently and wishing he was dead.

At the end of it all, they ended up with some pretty good stew. With Bowen's bread on the side, it ended up being quite a hearty meal. While Henry stored the leftovers in bowls and wrapped them in plastic to keep in the fridge in their room, Bowen began assiduously cleaning every inch of the surfaces they'd used.

"We're going to have the cleanest college kitchen in the country if you keep up like that," Henry said.

Bowen looked at him with a disapproving frown. "Hygiene is no laughing matter. Dirty surfaces allow germs to thrive. It is also polite not to leave a mess when other people will need to use the same area."

"Hey, I agree completely," Henry said, raising his hands. "I'm just saying that most people aren't as…uh…selfless as you are. It's a good thing."

They spent the rest of the evening preparing for their upcoming classes. Henry checked out his scheduled assignments for the semester and winced. At least he wouldn't have to pretend that much to avoid going out anywhere. Hopefully Bowen didn't press too hard. 

As he stared at the screen, the words began to blur and run together. Henry closed his eyes and his head pitched forward slightly. When he opened them again, he was dizzy and light-headed. His body was going to force him to shut down soon. But it was only 10:30. Henry groaned and stood up from the desk, only for the world to start twirling around him. He looked over at the other side of the room to see that Bowen had already gone to sleep at some point. He should probably…have a shower, or…something like that…

He tried to take another step towards the bathroom, but nearly fell over. The floor rushed up to meet him anyway, strobing back and forth in his vision. His eyelids felt like cinderblocks.

No , Henry thought. It's still so early…

But his body didn't care. He was only barely able to get to his bed before he fell forwards, lying diagonally across it. He was asleep in seconds.

Hero awoke to the soft chirp of crickets and a warm breeze drifting through the room. It had been such a hot night they hadn't even bothered to close the windows. He turned to one side to see Kel, a slight smile on his sleeping face, dead to the world. Aubrey was lying above him on the couch, drooling onto his face. Hero grinned. That would be fun to see them realize tomorrow morning. At least until they kept fighting about it all day. He turned to the other side to see that Sunny was…

…gone.

Hero got up, careful not to disturb the others. Had Sunny just gone to the bathroom? He thought he heard a soft thump coming from the back hallway, but he couldn't be sure. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and wandered towards the bathroom, yawning. The light wasn't on inside, and when Hero opened the door he found nobody.

Then he heard a bloodcurdling, rasping shriek coming from Basil's room. All traces of tiredness instantly cleared from Hero's system. He ran over and flung open the door to Basil's room.

The moon shone in through Basil's window onto a scene out of a nightmare. Sunny lay in a pool of blood so dark it looked black. His face was turned towards Hero – one eye looking at him without seeing, the other pumping blood at a pace Hero wouldn't have believed possible. Basil stood by the window, his skin glistening with sweat. His eyes, wide and with a searing intensity behind them, swung from Sunny to Hero. He gripped a pair of gardening shears in his hands, the blades stained with black. As Hero watched, gaping in horror, Basil turned the shears on himself and plunged them into his stomach, screaming as he sawed into his flesh. Hero…

…woke up, his body frozen in place. His chest felt like it was in a vice, and each breath came out as a pained wheeze. He was burning up, sweat dripping from his forehead, and his eyes rolled around in their sockets seemingly at random. Henry dug his nails into his palms and tried to suck in air, gasping desperately. He was going to die. He was going to die. He was going to die. He was going to die…

A face swam into view above him. He was being moved. Henry closed his eyes and tried not to pass out, even as his lungs refused to draw in the oxygen he so desperately needed. Visions of Sunny appeared in his mind as he appeared that night: a thin, pale corpse. But Sunny had lived, hadn't he? And he'd told Henry the most horrible things afterwards…why would he do that? His head was pounding, an agonizing drumbeat behind his skull.

Cool air wafted around him. He was sitting down now. Then something very cold touched his forehead and he gasped, reaching up to grab it. A wet cloth. The cold water coursed down his face like tears. The pressure started to lift from his chest, and he opened his eyes. There was someone crouching in front of him.

"Sunny?" Henry asked, squinting, trying to make out the figure. They looked a bit like him, with their black hair and stoic expression. The person, whoever it was, shook their head.

"No. Just me. I…am sorry. I hope this is working. I haven't had much experience with…things like this. You are not looking well. I think I should call a doctor."

Bowen. The memories of where Henry was and who he was with started to crowd back in. College. Not Basil's house. Not the hospital. Far away from all of that. He closed his eyes and took in a few deep breaths. When he opened his eyes again, he could clearly make Bowen out. The corners of his mouth were turned down, and there was something approaching fear in his eyes. They were outside on the balcony of their room – Henry was sitting in a chair, draped in his blankets. He took the wet rag off his head and exhaled slowly.

"N-no. Please don't do that. I'll be okay. Just…" He trailed off. What did he want right now? Bowen didn't look assured.

"One moment," Bowen said, and went back inside. Henry tried to turn around to see what he was doing, but his body seemed to want to lie still for a moment, so he gave in. Instead, he gazed out at the city skyline and enjoyed the cold air across his sticky forehead. Bowen returned after a couple of minutes, carrying a steaming bowl of leftover stew.

"Eat," he ordered, placing the bowl in Henry's lap. "You are very thin. And those frozen meals have not been helping you."

Henry decided not to argue with that. He was pretty hungry. But it was a bit difficult to eat with Bowen's eyes boring holes into him from the side.

"I don't want to be rude," Bowen began, but seemed to reconsider what he was about to say. Henry looked over at him. He stared at the floor, deep in thought, for a while before continuing. "We all heard about what happened with your friends, Basil and Sunny. I must admit it shocked me. And considering Mari as well…I hope you will start to take care of yourself, Henry. It is…fairly easy to see that you have not been. I do not know if I am the right person to help. But I will try."

Henry swallowed and looked away. The last thing he wanted was to bring someone like Bowen into his troubles. Nobody deserved that. "I'm sorry for worrying you. I don't…it doesn't happen that often. At least not that badly."

Bowen sighed. "It is no trouble. Helping costs nothing. But if you are so determined not to see someone about this…whenever I have problems like these, I talk to Daphne. Or I go to church and seek guidance there. I do not know if this will work for you. But perhaps it is worth trying."

Talk? Henry had to stifle a self-deprecating laugh. He'd run away from his own family just to avoid doing that. He couldn't talk about Faraway. Even thinking about it felt like rubbing sandpaper on an open wound. As for church, Henry had closed that path off a long time ago – no divine plan that involved killing Mari was worth following. But he didn't want to seem rude, so he just nodded slightly. Bowen stared at him again for a while before offering him a hand.

"You should rest, I think. Hopefully your sleep will be peaceful."

Henry managed a weak chuckle at that. "I hope so too."

***

Kel didn't know how Hero did it – just lying there in your bed all day. It hadn't even been a full day since Kel was banished to his room and he was already about to explode. It felt like he had an electric current running through his legs, and they kept twitching at random like they were begging to be used. No amount of jumping jacks or pushups on the floor of his room was helping. He needed to be out there doing something to burn off all this negative energy. That's what he'd been doing since the hospital: leaving the house after breakfast and playing basketball, running or exercising until it was time to come home again. The only way of coping he had, since nobody else would talk to him.

It reminded him of something Hero had said to him during his meltdown a few years ago. Something terrible like this happens, and you just go and play basketball? Do you not get that she's dead and she's not coming back? Do you think she's just going to turn up at the park and hand you picnic food?

Kel gritted his teeth and whipped his head back and forth. No more of that. It was time to break out. Even if his basketball was now useless after being run over, there were always a few buried in the bushes around the park. The only problem was getting out. He hadn't come down for breakfast that morning or dinner the previous night, unwilling to face his parents again. This also meant he was starving, but he could deal with that once he got out as well – he had a fair bit of pocket money lying around in various places in the room. Except the shorts he was wearing didn't have pockets…

Ah, whatever. He tucked the bills in his pants around the waist. That worked, although he'd probably have to remember to take them out of his pants before walking into a shop. The cashier might not like touching his pants money.

Now, to get out.

Kel's eyes flicked to the window. He hadn't had to pull this trick off in a while, and he'd grown a lot since he'd last done it. Hopefully he wouldn't get stuck in the window. Not only would it be really embarrassing, but his mom would probably bolt the window shut or something, and then he'd never be able to use it again. But this was the ideal time to try. Dad had left for work. Sally wasn't crying, which meant she was sleeping, which meant Mom was also probably sleeping. It was now or never.

Kel peered out over the windowsill and judged the distance to the ground. When he was a kid, this felt like dropping off a mountain. Hero would have to be standing at the bottom, waiting to catch him, before he'd agree to do it. Kel had begged Hero to keep that secret from the others. They couldn't know he was kinda scared of jumping out the window. Now, though, if he hung off the outer windowsill he'd almost be able to touch the ground.

He squeezed his arms and head through the window just fine, but the frame pinched a bit around his ribs. He managed to wriggle out to his hips before the real trouble started. He tried to roll over onto his side, but he'd already jammed his hips tightly into the frame and they weren't moving. This was the downside to working on glutes. Kel placed his hands on the frame and pushed, harder, harder, harder…

…until he came free from the frame with a pop, and launched himself into the air. Luckily he landed on his stomach and not his neck. He lay face down in the grass for a moment, catching his breath, before picking himself up and looking around. Good. Escape was mostly complete. The last obstacle was Hector, who might ruin the whole thing if he was awake and wanting to play. Kel tiptoed around the side of the house, holding his breath, until he caught sight of the kennel. Hector was inside, sleeping peacefully. Kel pumped his fist in silent jubilation as he jogged down the driveway onto the sidewalk. As soon as he was out of sight of his house, he broke into a full sprint all the way to the park. Freedom at last.

The park was pretty busy today. Kids of all ages were running around, screaming and playing in a way that brought back warm memories. The crazy juice-selling brothers were arguing again. Kel didn't get it. If they argued every time they were close to each other, why wouldn't they just put their stalls further apart? Then he remembered Hero, and the situation stopped seeming weird and started seeming sad. Kel looked away from them and scouted out the basketball court. A couple of guys were standing around and chatting while tossing a ball around, but it didn't look like there was anyone there that he knew. Good. He didn't really want to chat with anyone today. It was a 'just him and the ball' kind of day. Like every day had been since the hospital.

Now he just had to find a replacement ball. People were losing them all the time in the bushes, so Kel figured he'd have no trouble there. He wandered into the brush and started kicking around experimentally. How was he coming up with nothing? The one time he actually needed a ball…

Then his shoe connected with something soft and fleshy, and the bush shrieked. Kel frowned and walked around it to see Kim keeled over, coughing and holding her stomach. She glared up at him with teary eyes. "Asshole. How did you even know I was here?"

"What? I didn't! I was just looking for a basketball. Wait, why are you here?"

"Spying on you, dumbass!" Kim spat, moving to sit against a tree. Kel had to take a few seconds to process that one.

"Uh…why?"

"Something's happened to Aubrey again!" Kim shouted, pointing an accusing finger at him. "You…you did something, I know it. Ever since Basil and the knife boy had their fight she's been so closed off. She only wants to hang out in the junkyard and smash stuff. Then yesterday morning she didn't turn up to our Hooligan meetup, and we haven't seen her at all since. I'm…I'm scared, Kel. You and your brother are the only other ones in town who actually know what happened. And you probably know where she's gone."

Aubrey missing? If she'd left him as well, just like Hero and all the rest…

Then Kel's mind slammed the brakes and went into reverse. She already had left him. She hadn't tried to talk to him at all since the hospital. Every time Kel had stopped by her house, her bike had been missing. He sometimes saw the occasional Hooligan around, but never their leader. So she wanted to run away as well? Fine.

"Maybe she's hiding away somewhere," Kel suggested, crossing his arms. "Maybe she's sick or something. I don't know. She isn't talking to me either. I have no idea where she is."

Kim gaped at him for a moment. "You are so full of shit. You are not going to stand there and pretend you don't care. Aubrey was, like, your best friend. And she could be in trouble."

"Well, she hasn't been my friend for years now," Kel shot back. "And I'm not saying I don't care. I'm just saying I don't know where she is. I hope you find her, or whatever."

Kim scoffed at him. "Okay, so you're being all Mean Kel now. Well, sorry to tell you, but we're going to find her and you're going to help. I don't take no for an answer. You'll see."

"Oh, will I? Well, you know what? I'm going to go to Gino's now. And eat some pizza. Happily!" Kel almost decided to flash his pants money, but thought better of it.

"You do that! But I'm still going to make you help us find her."

There was no winning this. Kel huffed and stalked away. Basketball would have to wait if Kim was going to be hanging around and pestering him. Maybe he'd just go for a run. First, though, lunch. He was genuinely hungry, and nothing hit quite like a greasy slice of Gino's. Seeing as he hadn't eaten in 24 hours, today was going to be a full pie day.

It was only while chomping through his pizza that the reality of the situation sank in. Aubrey might be in trouble. If even the chronically unserious Hooligans were worried…and he was trying to act all nonchalant about it. Kel put his head in his hands. God, he was being such an ass! Even with everything Aubrey had done, especially to Basil, she didn't deserve any harm. Why was he thinking like this? Was he turning into a nasty person? Man, he'd have to apologize to her the next time he saw her.

He really needed to burn off some of this energy.

Kel tried losing himself in the rhythm of feet on pavement, as if he could outpace his worries. But now all he could think about was Aubrey. Was she okay? Had she hurt herself? Was she even still here? Kel growled and quickened his pace. Just in case, he swung by Aubrey's house and peered over the fence. No bike. So she probably wasn't at home. But then where? Should he go back and try to find Kim?

This was making his head spin. At least he was starting to sweat properly. Maybe if he tried a little harder, he'd be able to calm his brain down a bit. He ran back to the park and did pull-ups on the monkey bars, even though he was kind of disturbing the younger kids playing. He even went back to the basketball court eventually and found himself a ball, but Kim wasn't there so he just practised layups until his wrists hurt. Still no dice. He was just as nervous and jittery as before.

Kel looked up at the sky and groaned. It was starting to get a bit late, and sooner or later his mom would figure out he wasn't in his room. It was time to head back. Hector wasn't in his kennel at all this time, so Kel had no trouble sneaking around into the backyard. He jumped up, just about managing to grab the windowsill at full stretch, and hauled himself back into his room. Like he never left.

Now what? He could play video games, but as soon as he looked at the controllers he started thinking about Sunny, and wondered what he was doing right now. Was Sunny thinking of him? Did he even want Sunny to be thinking of him? Where was Aubrey?

This was hopeless.

Somehow, the time passed, and the smell of dinner wafted upstairs into Kel's room. His face twisted into a grimace. He'd have to go down for this one; his parents would probably get worried (and angry) if he skipped two dinners in a row. Anyway, all that exercise had made that pizza at lunch feel like years ago.

Dinner was quiet and tense, the only break being Sally's occasional gurgles, shrieks or other baby noises. Kel didn't look up from his plate. The stilted apology he'd given his mother for his outburst the previous day had done nothing to make things any better. Both Mom and Dad were obviously still worried sick about Hero. Of course, they didn't have anything to say to Kel. Once he was finished, he put his stuff in the dishwasher and went back up to his room, ignoring his dad's calls to come down and talk to Hero over the phone.

As if Hero wanted to talk to him anyway.

And, just like that, another hollow day drew to a close. Kel lay in his bed, lights off, turning his thoughts over in his mind again and again. Hero. Aubrey. Sunny. Basil. He'd lost his friends again. He didn't know what he thought of them, and that made him feel disgusted. And Mari, the one person he could have talked to who might have known what to do with all this, was the one furthest of all from his reach. He sniffled. Why did she have to leave them? Why did…why did Sunny have to take her from them…

Ping

Kel sat bolt upright and stared at his window. There was no mistaking that noise. He rolled up the window and stuck his head out, only for the next rock to hit him square in the forehead. He ducked back into his room and hissed, trying not to feel too irritated about the snickering he heard from below.

"Come on, loser!" came the half-whispering, half-shouting voice of Kim. "I told you I'm not letting you out of this. Get down here or I'll get Vance to start throwing bigger rocks."

Kel looked out the window again and put his finger to his lips, glaring at Kim's shadowy form below. There were only two other people with her – by their sizes, it could only be Vance and Charlene. Who was missing? The weird one, Mikhael…and the other weird one, his younger sidekick. The one with the hair. Although you could also describe Mikhael like that as well…

"Hurry up!" Kim whisper-shouted, tapping her foot. "Time's a-wasting!"

Kel grunted and hoisted himself out of the window, taking care not to snag on the frame this time. He dropped to the ground, landing perfectly on his feet, and sized up his new comrades. The three of them towered over Kim, who didn't look very pleased with the situation.

"Where are the rest of you?" Kel asked, keeping his voice actually quiet. You never knew when Sally or Hector might decide to suddenly develop super hearing.

Vance responded this time. "Mikhael doesn't really like you. Also…he's Mikhael. And Angel is a bit too excitable."

Kim nodded. "He would jeopardize the mission. Stealth is of the essence here. If Aubrey's anywhere in Faraway Town, we'll find her. You, Kel, are an intelligence asset. I know you've never heard that before in your life, and you never will again, but it's true. You've known her the longest. If anyone can figure out where she's gone, it's you. So can you help us? Please?"

For once, Kim looked like she was actually asking. She was clearly anxious – her foot tapping hadn't stopped, and she was staring at the ground and chewing her lip. Vance, too, was oddly quiet. Neither of them had any candy on hand, which was nothing short of miraculous. Even Charlene was looking at him expectantly. Kel had never taken the Hooligans particularly seriously, as a gang or as people, but as he looked at the three now he found himself starting to warm up to them a little. If nothing else, they really did care about their lost friend. And Kel did too, despite the nasty thoughts that kept creeping in.

"Okay," Kel sighed.

"Yes!" Kim almost-yelled. "Operation Find Aubrey is a go!"

Kel scowled. "That's such a bad…whatever. Sure. Operation Find Aubrey. Have you guys already checked out the old hangout spot?"

"We've been there most of the day," Vance replied. "She's not there."

"Okay. Well, I guess we're going to start with some trespassing."

Notes:

Next chapter ready to go in a week! Hopefully Aubrey is okay...

Keep in mind that there is now a slight time gap - Henry is a couple of months ahead of Kel. This gap will close eventually, but it's important to remember.

Chapter 3: Operation Find Aubrey

Summary:

Kel does the chapter title, and Henry makes a new friend.

Didn't Forget the Chapter Title (This Time) Award - me

Henry awoke short of breath, as usual. Mercifully, whatever bad dream had been tormenting him had already vanished from his memory. The only thing he was left with was the memory of a smug grin, one that he used to see when he was particularly flustered or was stumbling over his words, which he often did when he was with her. He couldn't help it – his usual charming facade seemed to disintegrate completely in Mari's presence. She enjoyed doing that to him, too. The six of them would all be sitting together, the younger kids doing their thing, Henry acting like the dad of the group as usual, and then Mari would lean over to him and whisper… usually something a bit inappropriate for the setting. And just like that, Henry would be a sputtering, nervous fifteen year old again, and Mari would be wearing that silly smile. The kids never noticed. That was a little game played out only between the two of them.

God, he missed it.

Still half asleep, he grabbed his wallet from his bedside table and opened it to look at his most valuable possession. Though this photo had been taken with Basil's camera, it had never made it into Basil's album. Considering what Sunny had done to the album (and who it ultimately belonged to), Henry was eternally glad for that. It had been a proper date, just Henry and Mari. Mari had borrowed Basil's camera for the day, but had only taken the one photo. Though the memories of the day were starting to fade from Henry's mind, he remembered the warmth in his chest, the near-permanent flush in his cheeks, the sheer exultation at getting to spend all this time alone with his girlfriend.

The photo itself had been taken by the fountain in Faraway Plaza. Mari had set the camera nearby, started the timer, and rushed back over to sit next to him. Henry had beamed at the camera, thinking that this was going to be a conventional photo. But at the last second Mari had pulled him in for a deep kiss, one hand locked around the collar of his shirt, fingers brushing his chest. The camera had captured Henry's flaming red cheeks beautifully. As soon as they'd seen the finished product, they'd both agreed it needed to be kept somewhere special. At first, it had been tucked away in Henry's room. After Mari died, it then took up residence in his wallet, where it remained for the next four years.

There had been more to that day. Mari had taken him wandering in the forest, stumbling through the underbrush in the late afternoon light. The memory of fumbling hands and Mari's sweet giggles seared through Henry's brain like a hot knife, and he could take it no longer. He dropped his wallet and put his hands over his face, unable to stop himself from sobbing.

He would never feel like that again. Mari had been his first, and she would be his last as well. That warmth in his mind was associated with her and her alone. Everything since then had been duller, grayer. It would be difficult to find a more accurate epitaph. Even the sun had shone brighter when she was here.

Some part of his mind was speaking to him urgently. You can't let Bowen see you like this again. Get up!

Henry took in a deep, shuddering breath and swung himself out of bed, only to find the other side of the room unoccupied. Right – Bowen had classes early today. He was surprised he hadn't been woken up by Bowen getting ready. That being said, Bowen seemed like the type of guy to try his best to be as quiet as possible. The man had a very strong, if sometimes unconventional, sense of politeness.

He picked up his wallet and glanced up with puffy eyes at his timetable, pinned to the wall above his desk. Today he had his first lab for his chemistry course that semester. He grunted and rubbed his eyes. It wasn't that he hated chemistry. It could be quite enjoyable sometimes. But it was always a bit dispiriting remembering how far away he was from actually doing any medical subjects.

As he dragged himself to the dining table for breakfast, he noticed an object wrapped in aluminium foil sitting on the countertop. There was a note on top of it. From Bowen? Henry walked over to read it.

'Drink.' Yep, that could only be Bowen.

Henry unwrapped the foil to find it was a cup of tea. It was still decently warm, thanks to the foil. Henry had to chuckle. Bowen really was quite ingenious sometimes. He took a long sip, letting the warmth spread through his body. It tasted great, but the floral smell was what made it really special. It brought him back to days spent lounging on grass, trying his best to weave flower crowns while the others posed with theirs…

He put the cup down, suddenly not wanting to drink any more. After a few moments of thought, he poured the rest down the sink. Best not to get on Bowen's bad side by letting him know he disobeyed his very clear instructions.

An hour later, he arrived at his lab. It was still ten minutes before class began, as usual for him, so he spent the time looking over some new content. He only noticed that someone had started to sit down next to him when the squeak of the chair brought him crashing out of his zone.

He looked over to his new neighbor, who was grinning cheekily at him. The first thing Henry noticed was the color of his clothes: a blindingly yellow shirt to go with his very bright blue jeans. Aubrey would be proud of that color scheme. His hair was brown and tightly curled. Everything about his face from his smile to his eyes suggested that this was someone who couldn't be trusted around flammable materials. He seemed almost Kel-ish, in a way, though Kel would have towered over this guy. As Henry was doing currently – the chairs were so high and the height difference enough that he was actually slightly taller sitting down than the other guy was standing up.

"Hey," said Henry, not wanting to be rude by making the other guy introduce himself first. "I'm Henry."

"Hello, Henry," said the other guy as he sat down, still grinning. "Pleased to make your acquaintance. Man, I feel like a baby in a highchair here. Oh, my name's Jamie, by the way. Not short for anything. Well, apart from the average American male."

"Jamie," Henry repeated. "What are you studying?"

"This. Chem all the way. Man, it's been too long since I've done a proper practical. There's only so much fun you can have with the stuff you can find around the house. I need some chemicals that can actually hurt you, you know? Oh, uh, you're pre-med, right?"

Henry cracked a smile. "Huh. How do you figure?"

Jamie counted off on his fingers. "The eye bags. The fact you came to class early and started studying immediately. Also, you just kind of have the look."

"The look," Henry snorted, looking around the rest of the classroom. To his surprise, most of the desks were still unoccupied. Maybe Jamie was just a bit of an extrovert. "You're here early too, it looks like."

"Of course. I'm not going to be late for my first lab session in months. Looks like we'll be doing a titration today."

Henry smiled again. "Okay, I'll bite. How did you figure that one out?"

Jamie pointed at the equipment set out on each of the lab surfaces lined against the sides of the room. "Burette, volumetric flask, conical flask, clamp stand, other stuff. Classic symptoms of impending titration. And I can just about see that that bottle on the desk over there is labelled phenolphthalein, so my guess is we're going to be doing an acid-base titration. A weak acid, though. Phenolphthalein only changes color at around pH 9. Probably acetic acid with sodium hydroxide."

"Wow," was all Henry could say in reply.

"Go check if I'm right. If I'm not, I'll give you five dollars."

"Alrighty then," Henry said, getting up from his seat. "And if you're right, do I have to give you something?"

"Only if you want."

Lo and behold, Jamie was right. The nearest desk did indeed have bottles of acetic acid and sodium hydroxide solution. Henry turned around to see Jamie beaming at him from their desk. The sight made him break into a grin himself. This guy was oddly disarming.

"So?" Jamie asked as Henry came back. "What do I get?"

"Ask me next class." Jamie pouted at that, which only made Henry's grin grow wider.

The classroom filled up eventually as people made their way in, and the professor began to explain the practical they'd be doing. Exactly as Jamie had predicted, it was going to be an acid-base titration with acetic acid and sodium hydroxide. They then ran through the steps for a basic titration – Jamie, despite clearly knowing all this already, still seemed to be totally absorbed. It was a nice change of pace from some of Henry's other deskmates in the past, who were often more interested in chatting or doodling.

Eventually they were sent off to do their practical work. As expected, they were told to partner up with their deskmates. Jamie busied himself with examining all the equipment while Henry opened the bottles of solution.

"No!" Jamie cried as Henry started to pour the acetic acid into the volumetric flask. The sudden shout startled him, and he almost spilled the acid everywhere. He shot a look at Jamie, who was staring back at him sternly.

"Rinse first," Jamie explained. "You don't know what's been in those things beforehand. Even trace amounts of contaminants could mess up the results."

Henry was going to say that the professor hadn't asked them to do that, but one look at Jamie's face told him there was no arguing. "Alright then. So we wash the conical and volumetric flasks with deionised water. We wash the pipette with the acid, and the burette with the base."

Jamie's lips twitched upward into a smile. "Nice. So you do remember something from all that studying."

"I mean, that's sort of the point?"

Having an experienced hand like Jamie around was very helpful. Even with the extra step they gave themselves of rinsing the equipment, they still had everything set up in no time. Henry glanced around at other groups in the class and saw that a lot of them still were trying to remember where everything went. Jamie opened the tap on the burette and started letting the sodium hydroxide flow out into the flask to meet the acetic acid and phenolphthalein. Now they just had to wait.

"Sooo," said Jamie, leaning over the table and resting his chin on his steepled arms. "Where are you from?"

"It's a little place called Faraway Town," Henry replied. "You… probably haven't heard of it. It's kind of a long way away from here. Eight hour bus ride.

Jamie smirked. "Lives up to its name, then. Interesting that you live in Faraway Town and study in Nearby City. At least you're going in the right direction, I guess."

No, I'm not.

"I'm a native, sort of," Jamie continued. "My parents have an estate a little way off into the country. Close enough to get in here quickly when they need to, but far enough for that quaint rustic beauty. I still live in the dorms, though. Commuting here every day would take ages. Plus, you know, good to get out from under your parents."

Henry just offered a faint smile to that. He had a feeling Jamie hadn't meant by that quite what Henry had in mind.

"Siblings?"

"A brother," Henry replied, trying his best not to let any emotion slip through. Unfortunately, judging by the slight quirk of his eyebrow, Jamie seemed to catch his reluctance.

"Only child here, heh. You enjoying the city more than Faraway Town?"

"It's alright, I suppose? Things could be better. But, then again, they could always be better, right?" Why… why did he say that? The last thing he needed was to vent everything to this guy he just met an hour ago and make things awkward. Maybe he already had made things awkward. Jamie was studying him intensely. The eye contact started to make Henry feel a bit warm in the face. He averted his gaze, only to see that the solution in the conical flask had turned bright pink. They'd overshot while neither of them had been paying attention.

"Jamie…" he warned, pointing at the flask.

Jamie looked down, shrieked, turned off the burette tap, and put his head in his hands. Henry found himself laughing at his over-the-top reaction. He patted Jamie on the shoulder.

"Hey, it's alright. Barely anybody else has even started titrating yet. Besides, we still had to do three more repeats anyway!"

"...don't talk to me. I can't believe I did that…"

***

Most of the properties on Kel's street backed onto the road next to the park. However, the park road curved away to the north just about where it met Kel's house. Behind Sunny's old house next door was nothing but forest. It was through this huge stretch of foliage that Kel and the Hooligans now crept, trying not to make too much noise. Trying and failing. Vance and Charlene were just too big to avoid trailing branches, and Kim seemed to swear louder and louder each time she accidentally kicked something. Why hadn't any of them brought a torch or something? The moon was pretty full, but if they spent too much time wandering around here in this light one of them would accidentally poke an eye out.

"Here," Kel whispered as they came up against a wooden fence that marked the boundary of the property. Sunny's parents hadn't ever bothered to maintain it while they were still living there, since it didn't really keep anything out – any animal blocked by the fence would just climb a tree and get over it that way. And keeping other people out wasn't a concern of theirs. As a result, the fence was rotting and decaying. There was a hole in the fence that, back in the day, Kel had been small enough to squeeze through. He'd only used it a couple of times to sneak into Sunny's house when he was grounded (and would usually be sent right back again immediately by Mari), but it was just where he remembered it being. Unfortunately, everyone present, including Kim, was too big for the hole now. They'd have to deconstruct the fence a bit more. Kel nodded to Charlene, who cracked her knuckles and stepped forward.

"Watch out for loose nails," Vance urged. "If you get cut on something like this, it'll give you a nasty infection. Happened to one of my friends who works construction when he was tearing down a fence like this. Got a big gash through his hand that turned green a couple of days later. Ended up in hospital."

"Stop talking about that, Vance!" Kim said, again loud enough that the other three winced on instinct. "You're going to make me sick."

"Kim!" Kel hissed. "Stealth, remember?"

Charlene grabbed one fencepost and experimentally pulled it back towards herself. It came away with barely any effort, but snapped loudly enough for anyone nearby to hear. Luckily the new occupants hadn't moved into the house yet…

Oh. The lights in the house were on. 

That complicated things. Had they moved in today and Kel just hadn't noticed while he was out? Had they been there for ages? He wiped the sweat off his forehead and crouched low to the ground, squinting at the house in the distance. There was still a fair bit of wooded area between them and the house, so he wasn't scared of being seen, but if anybody came out of the house it would probably be best to book it.

But the house stayed silent. Kel motioned for the others to move forward, though he was already pretty certain this would be a bust. If the house was occupied, there was no way Aubrey would have come to stay here. And if she had, she would definitely have come out to investigate once she heard the fence break. But even if there was some clue, some indication of where she was…

Kel ground his teeth as he walked. Where are you, Aubrey?

Unsurprisingly, she didn't answer.

The treehouse loomed ahead of them, a massive edifice that was merely an inky splotch against the night. And a little way ahead of it, there was the stump. Even Kim didn't have anything to say now. Everyone in town thought they knew Mari's story: a story of a girl who couldn't take it anymore and left five grieving and broken friends behind. They all thought they knew what the stump meant. As Kel stared at it, a large hand landed gently on his shoulder. He looked up to see it was Charlene, her face totally invisible thanks to her hair and the dark. Kim and Vance waited by the ladder to the treehouse, neither of them seeming like they were in any hurry to move.

Not entirely sure what he was doing, Kel walked over to the stump. He bent down and groped around until he found what he was looking for – a pinwheel, which he knew would be bright pink, though he couldn't actually see it. He spun it with a finger and sat down, holding his legs to his chest like Sunny always did. The stress, held at bay for a while, started to wash over him. If something had happened to Aubrey, he didn't know what he'd do with himself. He couldn't lose someone else. Even someone he hadn't been friends with for years. He couldn't be the last one left. It would destroy him. If Basil never got out of his ward, if Sunny never came back from wherever the hell he'd gone, if Hero kept staying away…it would just be him. Totally and utterly alone.

But it wasn't just that he needed that trace of the others, was it? Even though Aubrey hadn't been a part of his life in so long, Kel found it hard to imagine getting up and going on with his day without at least knowing that she was around. It hit him then just how much he'd missed her over the years. Yes, she was irritable and annoying and kind of an ass sometimes. But not even after their worst fights had Kel ever hated her. Even when she'd pushed Basil into the lake, he hadn't hated her. He'd just been glad Basil and Sunny ended up okay, and that Aubrey had come back to them. He missed having a friend around who he could really rib and joke around with, and do high-energy stuff together because God knew all the others were completely hopeless with anything like that, and play fight and get up afterwards and brush everything off as if nothing had happened. More than ever now, he needed that: someone who could take him away from everything, if only for a moment. And when Kim had come to ask him to help the first time, he'd had the gall to pretend like he didn't care…

Kel tucked his head between his chest and his legs and started to sniffle, letting the emotion pour out of him. He heard someone approaching from behind him, and for the second time a hand landed on his shoulder. This one was rougher, though, and from the sour breath and slightly rancid BO Kel figured this was Vance.

"There's… no way that's what's happened, right?" Vance said, the cheer in his voice very obviously forced. "We'd… we'd know about something like that. If she was feeling that way. She's gotta be around here somewhere. We should get moving. She's probably not here, but maybe we'll find something that can help us."

Right. From the Hooligans' perspective, this was the tree where Mari had killed herself. Maybe Aubrey had gone to join her surrogate older sister. Kel's stomach seized up at the thought, but he let Vance pull him to his feet and headed off with him to the treehouse. He wouldn't assume that. He couldn't. Not yet.

Kel's and Sunny's dads had been the ones to do most of the work on the treehouse. It seemed like they'd done their work well. Despite its age, the treehouse emitted not a single noise of complaint as its four occupants crowded in, three of whom were pretty large and had to bend their necks to move around properly. Four occupants, not five. Because, as Kel had realized already, Aubrey was not there.

The moonlight coming in through the treehouse window illuminated the windowside counter, on which sat a few candles. Mari had always made sure to keep a stash of them in here for sleepovers. It seemed like nobody had removed them in the years the treehouse had sat unused. Vance rustled around in his pockets and produced a lighter, which he used to light them. They didn't provide much light, but it was enough to let them see each others' faces. Hopefully nobody looking out from the house would be able to see anything. Vance looked unusually pensive, staring into the flames. Kel didn't even want to begin to imagine how he looked at this point.

"Ow!" Kim hissed from behind them, immediately clapping a hand over her own mouth. She hopped around for a bit as the others stared at her. She took the hand away from her mouth. "I stepped on a… is that a jack? Oh no. How long have those been sitting there for?"

Kel let out a rueful chuckle. "It happens." He scooped the jacks up off the floor and put them on the table. Charlene was busy examining the ancient Mr Plantegg, who had seen better days. She smiled slightly and set the plush back down. Vance went from corner to corner, examining the place until he was satisfied. He sat down on the ratty carpet with an audible thud and sighed.

"She hasn't been here," he said, scratching his neck. "She told us you guys all came in here a while ago. I can see where you all walked around, but judging by the dust that was the last time anyone was in here. Which is kinda weird. I thought the real estate people would have come in and given the thing a hosing down when they sold the place."

"Maybe Sunny's mom asked them not to touch it," Kel murmured, laying down on his back on the floor. Kim appeared above him, looking like she was considering kicking him. Kel scrunched up his face at her, and she stuck her tongue out at him and walked away. "This was a pretty special place for us, even though we only got to use it a few times before… well, you know…"

They didn't, of course. But they got the general idea. This was supposed to be a place they'd use for years and years. Instead, they only got a couple of months before the world as they knew it ended. Kel turned away from the ceiling and looked at the others. It wasn't exactly a party. Kim was sitting on the table, kicking her legs aimlessly, while her brother slumped against one wall and stared at his shoes. Charlene stood by the window, gazing out towards the house.

"I… didn't know Mari that well," Vance began, still not moving his eyes from his shoes. "She was a year ahead of me, and, yknow, we didn't exactly talk to the same sorts of people at school. But she seemed like she was a really nice person to be around. It really sucks that you had to go through that. At that age, too."

"Aubrey's never stopped hurting," Kim added. "She'd never say it, but we can all tell. Back when I was first getting to know her, she told me she dyed her hair pink because of a promise she made with Mari. Mari was gonna be purple. Hearing that made me cry a little. I would have loved to have a big sister to do that with. No offence, obviously."

Vance chuckled. "Yeah, yeah. Not dyeing my hair. Maybe you could go purple, Kim."

"Oh, man. Can you imagine Mom's face? But nah, I don't think Aubrey would like that. What she had with Mari seems like it was pretty special. What all of you had seems like it was pretty special."

The words slipped out of Kel before he could really think about them. "So then why did you spend years making Basil's life hell?" He sucked in his breath as he clocked what he'd just said, and scrambled to recover. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. You don't need…"

"Nah, that's fair," replied Vance. "Look, I'll be honest. I never hated the flower boy. I knew some people who called him gay or whatever, but that didn't really bother me. It was because Aubrey got us to do it, and I didn't really care enough to ask why. She made it seem like the flower… Basil had done something really bad. So I guess I kinda felt justified enough not to question it."

"Did she end up telling you why?" Kel asked. "After Basil went to hospital?"

"...yeah," said Vance, looking away. "A photo album. Gotta admit, that one stung a little."

"Unfair," came a rasping, unfamiliar voice. Kel looked over to see that it was Charlene who had spoken, arms crossed, her usually neutral expression now distinctly angry.

"Yeah, Charlie, it was." Vance's own face had now twisted into something angrier than usual. "We're gonna have to tell him we're sorry at some point. If… when he comes back. From what it seems like, the poor guy had enough on his plate already without us adding to it."

"What happened at his house?" Kim asked suddenly. "Aubrey didn't really tell us anything. Just that Basil and the knife boy started fighting, but they weren't really fighting, but Basil still stabbed him in the eye and they took him to the psych ward for it. There has to be more to it than that. People don't just, like, stab each other for no reason."

A very cruel part of Kel wanted to tell them Basil had tried to kill himself afterwards. Maybe then they'd learn how to really feel sorry. But that thought was immediately followed by a wave of shame for even considering it, which only intensified once he remembered Aubrey's role in the whole thing. She was the Hooligans' ringleader in making Basil miserable. If she blamed herself for Basil's current condition, what terrible things could she have done to herself as punishment?

"I don't really want to talk about that," he said, getting up. To be honest, even if he'd wanted to talk about it, he really didn't have much to say. Even in hindsight, knowing now what Sunny and Basil had done, there were a lot of questions that remained unanswered. Kel couldn't even guess at what had gone on between Sunny and Basil that night at the sleepover. Maybe neither of them had been in their right minds at all.

"We should get going," he continued, walking over to the ladder. "Figure out where we're going to go next."

Kel could feel the demoralization in the air as the rest of them descended the ladder. They were no closer to figuring out where Aubrey had gone. And now there was a weird tension in the air. The whole conversation in the treehouse had provoked a bunch of emotions in Kel that he couldn't really identify. Now he was buzzing on the spot and having to try his best not to randomly lash out at people. This was really getting to him. At the very least, nobody in Sunny's old house seemed to have noticed the trespassers.

Nobody said a word as they trekked back through the trees to the fence. After they'd all squeezed through, Kel led them through the forest to the road behind his house. They crossed it and made their way to Faraway Park, which was deserted. At one of their sleepovers at Sunny's house, Kel and Aubrey had once dared each other to sneak out and head out to the park in the dead of night. They'd managed to sneak out just fine, but when they'd gotten to the park the long shadows and pitch darkness of the forest around them had bled their resolve dry. They'd sprinted back home together, now terrified of a monster jumping out at them. Kel hadn't even made fun of Aubrey for crying on the way, which had been a first for him. It might have had something to do with the fact that he'd been crying himself. Either way, they'd had more to cry about later when they'd tried to sneak back into Sunny's house only to find Mari, arms crossed, waiting for them on the couch in the living room.

That lecture had gone on for a while and left both of them in tears, begging for forgiveness. The memory almost made Kel smile. Mari had never had any tolerance for unsupervised shenanigans. Though if she was allowed to participate, it was a different story.

Kel, Vance and Charlene sat down at one of the wooden park benches. Kim paced around behind them, kicking at the dirt and muttering things under her breath. "Where else do you think she could have gone?" Vance asked.

Kel shrugged. "Apart from the treehouse, the only other place I can think of is Mari's grave. But there's no way she could be staying there if this is the second night she's gone. The caretaker would have found her by now. I… don't know. I really don't know. Did… any of you actually check her house? Maybe her bike is gone for some other reason."

"We went around and threw rocks at the attic," Vance replied, "but we didn't go through the front door, if that's what you're asking. Her mom, uh… doesn't like us very much. But you probably figured that. She doesn't like anyone very much."

Kel remembered going to Aubrey's house to retrieve the photos. It had been filthy. Had Aubrey's mother even realized her daughter was missing? Then an even nastier thought popped into his head. Was Aubrey's mother responsible for this? Had she done something to Aubrey? If they went to her house right now, would they see her lying in a pool of her own blood, like that night at Basil's?

"I don't know what to do," Kel said, his voice now shaky. "I… I think something bad might have happened to her. We should talk to adults, ask if anyone's seen her anywhere. We might need to call the police."

Vance sighed. "Yeah, you're probably right. It's pretty late, but if you wanna go around and knock on some doors we can do that. We probably should split up, though. People are gonna be more likely to talk to you than us. I'll take Kim and Charlie and go talk to the neighbors. Maybe if Mikhael and Angel are still up we can get them to help out as well."

"Thanks," Kel replied, suddenly feeling very tired. Sure, he was appreciative of how much Aubrey's new friends seemed to genuinely care about her wellbeing, but he couldn't shake the feeling of mild distaste at being around them, even with all their obvious remorse. He'd wasted a lot of the little time he'd had with Sunny going around and fighting these guys, and he'd witnessed firsthand their cruelty to Basil…

…the two people who had been far crueller to him than the Hooligans could ever claim to have been. Kel squeezed his eyes shut and put his hands over his face. Why did these thoughts keep creeping in? It was like a little voice in his head was screaming out his most disgusting thoughts, demanding to be heard. He hated it. He hated being mean to people, even if it was just in his head. The little intrusions made him feel like he was transforming into a worse version of himself. And then that thought summoned a mental image of Hero into his mind, and he had to fight to keep that down now as well.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw that the other three were walking away. Kim looked behind her for a brief moment and caught Kel's eye before hurriedly looking away again. Kel groaned and got up from the bench, swinging his arms around aimlessly. Where to go first? Who might have seen Aubrey? Basil's house was just across the road from hers. If Polly was there and not visiting Basil, maybe she could have seen something. It was the best lead Kel had, so he decided to just go for it. Hopefully she would be okay with talking to him. He hadn't seen her since the hospital, where she'd looked absolutely miserable and had barely moved from Basil's bedside.

Come to think of it, would Polly even still be around? Basil's grandma had died the night he fought with Sunny, so would Basil's parents even bother to keep her? Kel hoped she was still there. There was no way Basil would be able to handle living alone in that house until he graduated. Or maybe Basil's parents would take him away somewhere else entirely, and Kel would have lost another friend for good.

The lights were on in Basil's house when he approached. That was a good sign – at least somebody was there. Just like before, there were a lot of flowers scattered in various places around the front yard. Kel tried to figure out if they were being taken care of, but in the darkness he couldn't tell. He walked up to the front door, cleared his throat, adopted a cheerful smile which could not have felt more fake if he tried, and knocked.

A few seconds passed. He heard someone walking across the wooden floor towards him.

The door opened. Pink hair, the dye fading, black just about visible at the roots. A teal ribbon. Eyes – black, not teal – red and puffy. Lips trembling.

Kel's body moved on its own. He drew Aubrey into a crushing hug, buried his head in her shoulder, and started to cry.

Notes:

Happy reunion! Btw, I haven't studied chemistry since high school, so if there are any science people reading and spotting inaccuracies feel free to abuse me about them in the comments and I'll fix them up.

Next chapter (already done!) in one week.

Chapter 4: Friends

Summary:

Kel reconnects with Aubrey, and Henry makes a consequential decision in the heat of the moment.

When they were younger, Kel wouldn't have been caught dead touching Aubrey, unless it was hitting her. Now that he'd psyched himself out about something terrible having happened to her, though, he couldn't imagine ever letting go. God, why hadn't he tried harder to talk to her all this time? Why was he such an idiot?

"Okay, okay," came Aubrey's strangled voice. "Good to see you too, buddy. Hurts, though. Let go?"

Reluctantly, Kel unwound his arms from around her and she stepped back a couple of paces, rubbing at her neck. A couple of tears glistened at the corners of her eyes, but she wiped them away with the back of her hand. Her lips were twitching as if she was trying to suppress a smile.

"You're… such an asshole," Kel said, pointing at her, rubbing angrily at his own eyes with his other hand. "I thought… I thought you'd… I was so worried! You just disappeared!"

Aubrey glared and crossed her arms. "Oh, I'm an asshole, am I? Well, if we're gonna talk about assholes, we're gonna have to mention that you never came by to talk after we all got back from the hospital. What the hell was that about? And don't you try and tell me you were busy or some bullshit like that. I saw your sorry ass playing basketball six hours a day…"

"You didn't talk to me either! I didn't want to force anything on you! Maybe you didn't want to see me. Maybe you wanted to spend time with your other friends instead. It was hard for me too, you know. I… I didn't know what to do!"

Aubrey scowled. "You could have just asked me…"

"Guys," came a tired voice. The two of them turned to see Polly standing in the doorway that led to the bedrooms. "If you're going to fight, please keep your voices down. It's quite late, you know. We don't need the neighbors waking up and coming over to see what's wrong. Anyway, Kel, please come in! I'm sorry I don't have anything fresh on hand, but there's some leftovers in the fridge if you're hungry."

"Don't let him have that," Aubrey complained. "That stew was so good! I was gonna have it for lunch tomorrow. He doesn't deserve it."

"Huh?!"

The two glared at each other for a bit before returning their attention to Polly. Her expression was a bit softer this time, and a smile was threatening to break over her face. "Kel can have it if he wants, Aubrey. He looks absolutely exhausted."

"Yeah!" Kel declared. "I am exhausted. Because I've spent hours running around looking for you with the Hooligans. We even broke into Sunny's old place to check the treehouse…"

Aubrey cackled. "Shit, really? Did Kim actually manage to convince you to break in?"

"It wasn't Kim," Kel said, frowning. "It was me. I told them where the treehouse was and brought them to it. Why… why are you looking at me like that?"

Aubrey's jaw was hanging open. Polly, still standing in the doorway, sighed. After a few seconds, Aubrey's expression of shock morphed into a devilish smile. "Aw, man. I would have paid so much money to see that. Goody two shoes Kelsey Montoya, the nicest kid in Faraway, breaking into other people's houses. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I'm assuming Hero doesn't know about this."

Kel winced at the mention of his brother's name, and Aubrey noticed. Her smile died a bit, and the two stared awkwardly at each other for a few moments. The impasse was broken by Polly. "Come on, let's sit down. Aubrey, I imagine you have some things you'd like to tell Kel. And I'd much prefer to sit down while we have that conversation."

The three of them sat down around Basil's dining table. The leftover stew, after a bit more arguing and bargaining between Kel and Aubrey, was split equally between the two of them. In the meantime, Polly made tea for the three of them. Kel took a sip and let himself relax a bit as the warmth flowed through him. Aubrey, though, was barely looking up from her bowl. She clearly wasn't excited about the prospect of having this conversation. But Kel was absolutely not going to let her off without an explanation of what the hell was going on.

"Aubrey?" Polly prompted, wearing a gentle smile. "Why don't you tell Kel how you ended up here?"

Aubrey glared into her stew. "Okay. Fine. A couple of days ago, I got into a bad fight with my mom. A really bad one. She said… a lot of things. About me, about my friends. You included, Kel. She, uh… anyway. She said a lot of really nasty stuff. She was drunk off her ass, of course, but still, it pissed me off. I shouted at her. She shouted at me. We broke some stuff. Then she kicked me out. Told me to pack my stuff and leave. I took Bun-Bun and some clothes and came to the only place I thought might take me in."

"The only place?" Kel asked, confused. How… why would Basil's caretaker, of all people, be her last resort?

Aubrey stabbed at her food with her fork. "Kim and Vance's dad is fine with me, but that's not much use when their mom isn't. Angel's sister doesn't earn enough money to have a third person in the house. I don't think Charlie's mom even knows I'm friends with her. And I've seen the way Mikhael's parents look at me in church. Bowen and Daphne are nice enough but… yeah, that wasn't going to work."

Kel wasn't satisfied. "But what about me? We would have helped you! Sure, you haven't been around for a while, but my parents still remember you. They would have been glad to help out."

Aubrey didn't respond to that. Instead, she kept her gaze firmly on her bowl. The reaction confused Kel for a moment before he really started to think about it. They'd spent four years without talking to each other. Then, in the span of a few days, Kel had fought her and all of her friends multiple times over, watched her nearly kill Basil, then the both of them had watched Basil nearly kill himself. Was it so strange to assume that Kel would hate her after all that? The realization made him feel so much worse about his actions over the past month. Had Aubrey spent all that time thinking he never wanted to see her again?

Wait, he'd watched her nearly kill Basil. And she'd been bullying Basil for years. Polly was Basil's caretaker. Did she…?

"I'm sure Aubrey had her reasons," Polly said, stretching a hand out over the table towards Aubrey's. Aubrey grimaced, but allowed her hand to be taken. "It's been a stressful time for everyone, myself included. Oh, Kel, I imagine you'll be wanting to hear how Basil's doing."

Did he? As soon as that thought surfaced, Kel buried it beneath a mountain of self-recrimination. No matter what Basil had done, he was still one of Kel's oldest friends. Nobody deserved to go through what he had gone through. And he did want Basil back and with the rest of them. He wouldn't lose them again.

But…

"I've been visiting him most days," Polly continued, dragging Kel out of his head. "It took a while to convince the staff to let me see him that often, but having connections helps a lot, haha! He seems to be faring alright. Much better than anyone thought he would be doing. Off the record, one of the doctors told me they're hoping to be able to have him out and back with us before school starts up for the year."

Aubrey smiled at that. "Can't keep him down, huh?"

Kel smiled as well, but it didn't feel quite right. Yes, he felt relieved that Basil was doing okay. And yet the prospect of seeing him in person again made him feel a bit queasy. Not for the first time, he wished that his brain would just give him a straight answer on how he felt about things.

"Of course not!" Polly laughed. "A hardy little weed, that one. He does have a fair bit of physical recovery to do as well, though. He did some pretty serious damage to himself with… you know, the shears. He's having some trouble with mobility. Spending all that time in a hospital bed doesn't really help him there, of course, but some things can't be helped. He's working on it. Every time I talk to him, he seems so determined. Before all this, he used to be so skittish. I barely got a word out of him for years. But something about what happened seems to have put a bit of life back in him. It's… it makes me so happy to see…"

Tears were forming in Polly's eyes as she spoke, smiling softly. Aubrey squeezed her hand. Kel didn't really know how to respond, so he just adopted his usual smile. Polly took a handkerchief out of her pocket and wiped her eyes. "Oh dear. Excuse me. As I was saying, he really does seem determined to put things right. He asks about all of you a lot. He seems to really care about you guys. And I'm just so happy he has such lovely friends like you."

Kel, trying to ignore the pit in his stomach, discreetly looked over at Aubrey, whose smile had taken on a distinctly bitter tone. She wasn't looking at Polly anymore. So she hadn't told Polly about anything that had happened between them. Kel assumed Basil had never explained to Polly who was bullying him at school.

By this point, the handkerchief was no longer enough to stem Polly's tears. "I haven't been to see him since you arrived, Aubrey, but I think I'll go tomorrow. I'm sure he'll be delighted to know you'll be staying, even if the hospital won't let you visit him. It'll be good for him to have a friend so close." At that, Aubrey's face reddened, and she hung her head. Kel scratched his cheek. Putting an unstable Basil in the same place as his former tormentor was…risky. But what choice did they have? Kel didn't want to be the one to break the bad news to Polly.

"Are you, uh, sticking around?" Kel asked. "I know you were meant to be looking after Basil's grandma. Since, uh… well…"

"Fortunately, yes. Basil's parents have at least had the decency to…" She stopped talking suddenly, went very red, and put a hand over her mouth. "Oh. That was unprofessional. Please forget I said that. The answer to your question is yes, I'll be around for the foreseeable future. Basil's parents are keeping me on to look after him until he turns eighteen. You're not quite rid of me yet!" 

Aubrey snickered. "Like we'd ever want to be rid of you." Polly flashed the girl a toothy smile.

"Anyway," Polly said with a sigh, "I, for one, am absolutely exhausted. It's been a long day. Aubrey, it seems like your friends have been very worried about you, so I think that you should go and talk to them first thing tomorrow morning. At least let them know you're alright."

"I will," Aubrey replied, and at least she sounded certain about that.

Polly grinned. "Good. And Kel, I imagine your parents will skin me alive if I keep you out for too much longer. Your mother is quite a formidable woman, haha! If you need help getting back, I can drive you…"

"Thank you, but I'm all good," said Kel. "It's not that far. I can just walk it." He didn't feel the need to tell her that, not only did his parents have no idea he was here, but he was also meant to be indefinitely grounded.

"If you insist," said Polly, getting up from the table. "I'm off to bed again. Make sure you two put your dishes in the dishwasher before you go and do anything else. Try not to make too much noise." Then she yawned and disappeared, leaving only a faint floral scent behind her. Now that she was gone, Kel tensed up, and he noticed the same was true of Aubrey. There was an awkward silence for a few moments as the two of them cleaned up.

Aubrey was the one to break the silence first. "How's Hero?"

Of course that would be her first question. Kel tried not to look hurt, but he knew his face was betraying him so he looked away. "Let's… talk about that some other time, okay? Not right now. I don't want to think about that."

"Okay," Aubrey replied, her voice strangely gentle. Another few moments passed.

"Does Polly know?" Kel asked eventually. "About the lake, or…anything like that?"

Aubrey stared at the ground, frowning. "No. Well, I don't think so. I haven't said anything to her, and I doubt Basil has either. It… it really sucks, Kel. This is why I didn't want to go outside. You know about me and Basil, and obviously so do my other friends, since I got them all to help me. I just couldn't go up to them and tell them with a straight face that I was letting his caretaker take me in without her knowing about all the awful things I did to him. Every time she's nice to me I feel like such a terrible person. Telling the others why we were targeting Basil also made me feel like a terrible person. God, it's just… everything hurts so much, Kel. You know?"

He did. "Everyone deserves a home. Polly's nice. I'm sure, even if she did know, she'd help you anyway. Anyone can see you've changed." It was true. There was something wearier and more contained about Aubrey now that was obvious even with how little time they'd spent together – a far cry from the furious, trigger-happy girl Kel had fought with barely a month earlier.

Aubrey's chuckle was totally without humor. "I don't know if that's enough, Kel. You know, every time I try to feel angry at Sunny and Basil about what they did to Mari, I just… well, I remember I have no legs to stand on. What I did that day at the lake almost ended up killing both of them. It was fucked up, what they did. I don't think I'll ever look at them the same way again. But if Hero hadn't shown up when he did…"

Kel shifted awkwardly. Logically, what she was saying made sense. But it didn't feel like the same thing. Sunny and Basil had hidden their crime for years and let everyone believe a lie. It was a terrible accident, sure, but… it wasn't the last terrible decision they'd made.

"What's gonna happen when Basil comes back? Are you gonna stay here, or move back home, or what?"

"I'm not staying here for long, Kel. Just until my mom gets her shit together again. It should only be a few days before she turns up and begs to take me back." Aubrey's tone was cutting. Clearly the last month hadn't removed all the bitterness of the last four years. "But it's nice to know I have a safe haven here for a while. I don't really want to keep staying here once Basil gets back. He probably would be better off never seeing me again."

"No," Kel replied immediately, causing Aubrey to look up at him in surprise. "None of us are better off never seeing each other again. We're friends. I don't care that you did some things you regret. So did Basil. We're not gonna run away again. We're not gonna do what Hero did."

Too late, Kel realized he'd said too much. Aubrey raised one eyebrow, but didn't press the issue. Obviously he'd have to tell her about where Hero was at some point, but he absolutely was not ready to have that conversation now. He grasped around for a different conversation topic.

"No more eyes?" he asked, immediately regretting how stupid that question sounded. He pointed at her noticeably not-teal eyes, before realizing that probably didn't clear up much either.

Aubrey laughed. "My contacts are at home, dumbass. I don't just carry them around in my pocket."

"O-oh. Right." Silence for a few seconds. Aubrey had that look on her face that meant she was about to say something embarrassing.

"Do you like them?" she asked eventually, immediately looking away from him.

Kel thought about it for a moment. "They're different. But it's a good different. I think they show your character, same as the hair. Probably wouldn't wear them myself, my mom would kill me. But, uh, yeah, they're nice."

She smiled for a moment, then turned away from him, hugging herself, and let out a shuddering breath. "I… didn't realize how much I wanted us all back together again until it got ripped away from us again. That day with the four of us was the best day I'd had in a long time. I missed everyone." She paused for a moment. "Even you."

"Wow. I'm honored." Despite the sarcasm, Kel's cheeks were warm. Hearing that felt really, really good. "I missed you too. A lot. But I'd better get going now. If my parents find out I've been out, I'm not gonna be seeing you again for a while."

Aubrey chuckled. "Alright then. Thanks for looking for me, dumbass. I know it kinda doesn't seem like it, but I appreciate it. And breaking into Sunny's house was pretty hardcore."

Kel snorted. He started walking towards the front door, but stopped and turned back. Aubrey was still turned away from him, arms clasped firmly around her stomach.

"Uh, I'm not doing anything tomorrow. Except being grounded. But I could probably sneak out again. Unless you're going to be hanging out with the Hooligans for the whole day, or whatever…"

Aubrey sighed. "Kel, are you really going to make me ask?"

Kel smiled. For the first time in a long while, it was entirely genuine. "Catch you later, then."

He turned and headed out the door. As he did so, Aubrey's head turned slightly, and Kel caught a slight glimpse of her flushed cheeks. Had she turned her head a little further, she would have seen that Kel was blushing as well.

***

The first week of the college year was over, and Henry had almost never been less excited for a Saturday in his life. The classes and assignments had kept his mind working and away from any dark places. He'd settled into a comfortable rhythm with Bowen – though they didn't see each other too much during the day due to their conflicting schedules, they'd managed to find time for another joint cooking session. Now, instead of frozen meals, their fridge was stocked with the leftover fried rice they'd made, which was almost as good reheated as it had been fresh. An added bonus was that, since classes had restarted, Henry's parents were calling much less often now, not wanting to disturb him from his studies. Henry was glad to be rid of that painful ritual. Working diligently late into the night, stomach full of his own cooking, Henry would occasionally even be blessed with a full and dreamless sleep.

But now the week was over, and Henry found his schedule ominously sparse. Everything he still needed to do was finished by mid-afternoon, leaving him with far too much time on his hands. He cast a nervous glance towards the front door. Bowen had left early that morning but hadn't told Henry when he'd be back. If Bowen came back to find Henry rotting in bed, he'd end up being subject to another round of interrogation. Ever since that first night where Bowen had witnessed one of his panic attacks, he'd ask Henry about his health constantly. It was endearing in a way, but Henry couldn't deny it got on his nerves a bit.

Sighing, he walked over to his wardrobe and pulled on some sneakers. Maybe a walk would do him some good.

It was a nice day outside, and all the open spaces on campus were filled to bursting with people. Henry didn't really feel like wading through the masses, so instead he took himself out into the city proper. Nearby City was not the world's biggest city, but as a lifelong Faraway Town resident it still took his breath away a bit to see the soaring buildings and the crowds of people. This time, though, he wasn't heading to the big shopping areas. Though the glitzy malls were pretty cool, there was plenty of stuff to find if you went off the beaten track a bit. Henry lost himself in the maze of streets for a while, letting his mind wander over the various things he saw. 

That was the trick, really. The only way to keep himself sane was to always be doing something else, thinking of something else. Any downtime meant his thoughts would come creeping back in, and before he knew it he'd be crying into his pillow again.

His eyes were drawn to a particular store, one of those ones that just kind of sold things without any logic to its contents. Just behind the shop window was a wall of porcelain chibi cats. There were dozens of them in every position imaginable – sleeping, playing, eating, rolling over, and many more. Henry put one hand on the glass and smiled sadly. This was the sort of stuff Mari was always buying for Sunny back in the day.

He entered the store, a bell tinkling merrily above the door as he did so. A bored-looking clerk looked up at him for a moment from behind the counter, where she was reading a book, then looked away again. Besides the two of them, the store was deserted. Henry wandered over to the wall and picked up one of the cats – a black one, loafing with a slightly drowsy look on its face. Mari would definitely have bought this one for her brother. She was always giving him silly little things like this. For Sunny, obviously, there was never anything silly about it. Any gift from his sister was treated with the utmost gravity. Henry and Mari would giggle to each other as Sunny turned over the gift in his hands, looking at it from every angle, eyes wide, before muttering an earnest thank-you and running off to put it somewhere.

Henry's vision was blurring again. He took in a deep, shuddering breath, trying to hold in the tears, and set the black cat back down. How had he managed to derail himself so quickly? Why did every little thing in the world have to remind him of what he'd lost? He swiped at his eyes with the backs of his hands and picked up a different cat. This one was white with a little picnic basket hanging around its neck, peeking up at him with its tongue out.

Maybe a little bit of indulgence wouldn't hurt.

After paying for the cat, he put it in his pocket and left the store. A gust of wind whipped around him, and he shivered. There were clouds rolling in overhead, and it had gotten noticeably more chilly. It was probably about time to head back. Henry began to walk towards campus, only to notice a more immediate problem: his legs were about to give out.

Henry had never been very fit – that was more of Kel's thing. Back in high school, Mari had poked fun at him a couple of times by comparing him to the athletes in their grade, though she'd stopped after realizing that Henry had taken the jabs a little too seriously. Given that he'd spent the last few months not leaving his room, either at home or at college, his stamina was not as high as it could have been. It was only as he contemplated the distance he'd have to walk to get back to his dorm that he realized how much his legs were killing him. Then, of course, as soon as he sat down on a bench to catch his breath a bit, the skies opened. Within seconds, he was drenched.

Henry groaned and fished around in his pocket for his phone. Bowen had a car; hopefully he'd be fine with doing Henry a little favor. He really should get himself a car at some point. But that would cost money he didn't have, which meant he'd need to find himself a job… which actually would be a great way to eat up more of the spare hours he didn't want. Henry filed that thought away for later. Scrolling through his contacts, he came to his parents' number. For a moment, he hesitated, his finger hovering over the call button. What he wouldn't give right now for a warm meal at home, talking to his parents about his day while Kel joked around and bounced off the walls…

What the hell was he doing? He'd end up spending days drying these clothes out if he waited much longer.

"Hello, Henry!" came Bowen's tinny voice through the phone. He sounded unusually excited. "Why are you calling me?"

Henry sighed. "Look, I'm sorry to bother you, but it's just started pouring and I'm stuck ages away from campus. Is there any way you could come and pick me up? If you're doing something else, that's totally fine, I'm not going to force you–"

"No problem, Henry. I actually had a proposition for you anyway, so this is an excellent opportunity. Where are you?"

Henry squinted at the street signs and gave Bowen some directions. It took only about fifteen minutes for Bowen to get there, but by that point Henry already looked like a drowned rat. As soon as Bowen pulled up next to him, he dived into the front seat, sighing with relief as warm air rushed over him. The rain had been unseasonably cold for September, and he was absolutely freezing.

"Sorry for getting your car wet," Henry said, wearing his best apologetic smile. "I'll wipe it down with some towels once we get back to the dorms."

"We will not be going back to the dorms yet," Bowen replied, grinning at him. Henry was startled – had he ever seen Bowen actually smile before? Hot on the heels of surprise, though, was dread. What was Bowen roping him into?

"I was exercising at the gym today," Bowen explained. "While doing so, I came across some other people who live in our dorm, and we started discussing baking. They invited me to a party being hosted tonight at one of the fraternity houses. They said I would be quite popular there."

There were a lot of questions in Henry's head. Bowen was going to the gym? Bowen was discussing baking with random college guys at the gym? Discussing baking with random college guys got you invited to parties? He decided to bring up the most pressing issue. "Seems like they invited you, Bowen, not me. I'm not a gatecrasher."

"No, they were quite clear," Bowen insisted. "They told me to 'bring your bros too'. Since the party starts soon anyway, I think it is best that we head straight there."

"Bowen, I've just been standing in the pouring rain for twenty minutes! At least let me go back and change!"

Bowen shook his head. "If we go back, we will be late. It is impolite to arrive late to parties."

Henry sensed that contesting this wasn't going to work. Bowen's views on etiquette were ironclad. If he wanted to show up on the dot to a frat party, there wasn't a thing anyone could do to dissuade him. So he simply sat back in his seat and stewed, frowning out the window as Bowen drove and imagining the dirty looks as he tracked water through some random house. At least he wasn't still sitting outside – the rain was only getting worse as time went on. Bowen, for his part, was navigating the city with ease. He'd probably memorized the entire route before he left.

"We are here," Bowen announced happily, stirring Henry from his thoughts. Henry peered out the window. It looked like there might have been a large building nearby, but the rain was so heavy that the visibility was almost nil. "Unfortunately, I do not have an umbrella. We will run the rest of the way." And with that, Bowen hopped out of the car and jogged away. Henry yelped and hurried after him. He absolutely was not going to spend his first Saturday of the year wandering around lost in a downpour. As he struggled through the rain to the front door, his legs still aching in protest, Bowen was already knocking cheerfully. The door swung open to reveal a flashbang of color: dark green cargo pants and a purple shirt, with a grinning brown-haired head poking out the top.

"Bobo!" Jamie exclaimed, fist-bumping Bowen. "Very punctual, I like it. And… wow, Henry? I didn't realize you two knew each other."

"We are roommates," Bowen announced proudly.

Jamie's jaw dropped. "What? Seriously?" His tone sounded almost… envious? That wasn't the reaction Henry was expecting. He gave Bowen a curious look, but got no clarification.

"But we have also known each other for a long time," Bowen explained. "We are from the same hometown."

Jamie looked them over, chewing his lip. "Huh. Maybe I need to pay this place a visit. Seems like I'm missing out." Henry scratched his neck and smiled awkwardly. He wasn't entirely sure what was going on here, but his stomach was starting to turn a bit. Especially when Jamie broke off his examination of the two of them and flashed him a brilliant grin.

"You look like you've been swimming, Henry. Got caught in the rain?"

"Heh, yeah. Bowen saved the day there. He drove us both here. Uh, by the way, I don't think you actually invited me. Are you sure it's okay if I…?"

Jamie waved him off. "These guys don't care, they just want more people in here. I don't even live here myself, I just go to the gym at the same time as some of them and got an invite that way. That's also how I met the lovely Bobo. Anyways, come inside, it's much warmer. Mingle! Have fun!"

Henry and Bowen stepped inside, and Henry almost sighed as he was blasted with warm air. The inside of the house looked pretty much exactly the same as every party he'd gone to in first year – messy and packed with people. Sunny would have absolutely hated it here.

Don't think about that.

"It looks just like the movies!" Bowen marvelled, looking around. "I must find the kitchen. All shall share in some fresh bread." And with that, he was gone. Henry couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed to be ditched immediately by the guy who'd dragged him here in the first place. He wasn't really in the mood for socializing right now. But he was Henry, and he was supposed to be great with other people, so he soldiered on. He grabbed a cup of lukewarm beer from a table and sipped on it, grimacing. He'd never really gotten a taste for beer, but unless he was planning on getting absolutely wasted that was all he had to drink at college parties.

Holding his cup, he wandered through the ground floor of the house, never hanging around in one place long. He spotted a few people he knew from various classes he'd taken, and even managed to chat to someone who'd been on his floor last year, but it all felt very performative. They were nice enough people, but Henry had very little to say to them. He could do a bit of small talk and be a charmer, but there was nothing beneath the facade. The longer he went without finding a group of people to stick around with, the worse he felt, and the more terrible beer he drank. The harder alcohol was starting to look a lot more attractive now.

Ah, whatever. You only live once. He'd probably end up a blubbering mess by the end of the night – that tended to happen when he drank too much – but that wouldn't be too far from the norm. Right now he needed to empty his head, and that was one thing alcohol was good for. In the short term, at least.

Henry entered the kitchen and spotted a guy mixing Red Bull with some kind of liquid he couldn't identify. There were a bunch of filled shot glasses out on the counter.

"What you got here?" Henry asked, gesturing to the drinks.

"Jägerbombs, man!" replied the mixer. Henry nodded: he'd heard of these. Apparently they'd gotten really popular over the last few years. He picked up a glass and examined it, staring into the yellow-brown liquid.

"Give it a go," the guy encouraged him. "It's not fancy or anything, but it'll get you fucked up quick."

Henry shrugged and downed the glass, wincing as the alcohol burned its way down his throat. It tasted terrible. What did he expect?

The mixer clapped and laughed. "Nice, man! Usually when I give this to someone for the first time they end up spitting it back out. Looks like you could use some more. Take as many as you want. We have a lot of Jägermeister."

Henry picked up a second, downed it as quickly as he'd done the first, then took a third for the road. He walked away, bumping the edge of the counter as he went, and tried to find somewhere to chill out for a bit. He ended up just sitting down against one of the walls, watching people pass him as his head grew increasingly fuzzy. What a night , he thought. With a sigh, he drank his third shot and put the glass down on the floor next to him. He stared at the floor for a while, swaying back and forth slightly as the alcohol kicked in, before somebody sat down next to him.

"Hey there," said Jamie cheerfully. "How are things down here on the floor? Are you starting to understand my daily lived experience?"

Henry forced out a chuckle and turned towards him, trying his best not to lose his balance. He noticed Jamie wasn't holding a cup. "You're not drinking?"

"I drove here. I'm a responsible boy. Check out Bobo over there. He hasn't been drinking either, but he's more exciting sober than most people are drunk." Henry turned again to see that Bowen had gathered an entire crowd around him. True to form, there was a mountain of flour on the table in front of him, and he seemed to be explaining the best method to mix the flour with the oil. The hordes of drunk college guys around him were absolutely entranced.

Henry's mood sank even further. Even Bowen was having fun and making new friends. He, on the other hand, was moping around just like he did back in the day. Had everything just reset after hearing the truth? Was he going to have to go through everything all over again? His head was starting to buzz, and his thoughts kept scattering as he attempted to gather them.

A hand landed on his shoulder, gentle and undemanding. "Are you doing alright?" Jamie asked. "You don't look too good. I didn't peg you as the type to pound back Jägerbombs. I could be wrong, but…"

Henry smiled a bit at that. "Have you been watching me?" He was pleased to see a flush appear immediately on Jamie's cheeks.

"...maybe a bit. But can you blame me? Look, you don't have to tell me what's up or anything like that. I know we've only just met. We can just sit here and chat if you want."

"Things have been pretty rough recently," Henry admitted. "It's kind of complicated. But thanks for stopping by. It's good to have someone to talk to."

Jamie shoved him gently, though Henry was starting to become affected enough by the alcohol that he almost fell over. "Are you smiling like that on purpose, or is it just kind of your default thing?"

"Huh? I… didn't realize I was smiling when I said that."

"You were. You had that salesman smile thing." Jamie tried to imitate it, but it looked far too adorable for anything that could have shown up on Henry's face. Henry couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It is kind of my thing. Back when I was a kid, I used to be a big hit with all the adults. Responsible older brother, good grades, the whole deal. Sometimes I used to cook and bring stuff around to the neighbors, just because I felt like I should."

Jamie smirked. "You're going into medicine, you've got a killer smile, and you can cook? It's unfair that people like you exist. You're the full package."

"I wish," Henry replied. He was starting to feel kind of weird. There was a stray curl of hair over Jamie's forehead that he was feeling the urge to tuck back in place. And it really didn't help that Jamie was wearing purple. Purple… that was a color he loved. It was a color Mari loved. It was making him think of warm cuddles and lazy days.

"I guess you get that a lot," Jamie said after a while. "Cooking for the neighbors, huh? Didn't have a lot of quiet time as a kid, then?"

"Nope. Always stuff to do. Studying, or looking after my brother and… our friends…"

Something must have changed in Henry's expression when he said that, because a sheen of concern passed over Jamie's face momentarily. If Henry had been a little more drunk, he probably wouldn't have noticed at all.

"So," Jamie said, poking him, "I heard from Bobo that we actually live in the same dorm. You guys are on the fourth floor, if I remember correctly. I'm on the second. I'm kind of surprised I haven't seen you in the common room at all, but Bobo did say you guys cook most of your own meals. Man, I'm jealous. I'd love to live in your room."

Henry had to think for a moment. It was starting to get a bit difficult to string coherent thoughts together. "Second floor? Are you in that room that played the Captain Spaceboy theme at full volume on, uh, Thursday morning? At, like, three?"

Jamie cackled. "Nope, but I know who you mean. Real menaces, those guys. My roommate was so pissed. He was ranting to me about it all day afterwards, and I don't think I've ever heard him say more than ten words in one go any other time. He's pre-med too, by the way. You'll probably get to meet him in twenty years when you guys actually start med school."

Henry giggled. Too real. "I have to… I have to ask. Why, uh, why do you call Bowen Bobo? He's never, uh, struck me as a Bobo. Hehe."

"You don't think so?" Jamie asked, grinning his cheeky little grin again. "Look at him. He's such a Bobo."

For some reason, to Henry's delirious mind this was the funniest thing he'd heard in ages. He started to wheeze uncontrollably, clutching his sides and swaying back and forth. "Man, you're really starting to lose it," Jamie commented.

Henry looked into Jamie's eyes. There was a comforting warmth there that he found himself hungry for, a promise of peace and stability and understanding. Everything about Jamie was so confident, so put together, and Henry yearned for it. But that wasn't the only thing making him feel weird. The way his cheeks dimpled when he smiled (often), the way his small hands were locked around one knee as he sat there next to him… his stomach was churning. Though Jamie wasn't saying a word, he was telling Henry what he so desperately wanted to hear. An idea began to form in his addled mind.

"I figured out what I want to give you. For that bet you won in class."

"Oh, yeah?" Jamie asked. The look of genuine anticipation on his face was enough to wash away what little hesitation Henry had left. He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on Jamie's cheek.

His first thought was how different Jamie's cheek felt to Mari's. Where Mari's was smooth, the peach fuzz on Jamie's cheek provided an unfamiliar texture to Henry's lips. He leaned back and observed the reaction, a stupid grin appearing on his face. Jamie's face was bright red, and his lips were moving as if he was trying to talk, but nothing was coming out. He reached up and touched his cheek where he'd been kissed, a look of wonder in his eyes. Henry was feeling a million different things at once. He was feeling… he was feeling… like a man standing in the path of an oncoming truck.

"Excuse me," he muttered, staggering to his feet. Jamie, still massaging his cheek, did not respond. He was just about able to make it out of the room before the truck hit him, and he let out a cry of despair. What the hell had he just done? Images of a hanged girl, deathly beautiful in her white dress, appeared behind his eyes.

Traitor. How dare you soil her memory?

You're disgusting.

You promised her.

He had. "I'll love you forever," he'd said at her funeral, though nobody had heard but him and her. And he'd kept that promise for nearly four years.

You love her. You betrayed her. You're disgusting.

Henry was sobbing now. People looked at him with concern as he pushed through them, but he was past caring. He just needed to get out. He needed to go back to his bed so he wouldn't forget her anymore. The front door swung open. It was still pouring with rain outside. Henry didn't have a car. Fine. He deserved it.

"Henry, wait!" a voice called. Henry was going to ignore it, but a hand grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. Before him stood… him , eyes wide, that awful smile now wiped off his face.

"Y-you can't walk home like this," Jamie stammered. "You're drunk, and it's raining, and it'll take hours to get back to the dorms. Let me take you home. Please. I'm… I'm sorry…"

Henry opened his mouth to say something terrible, something that would make him go away and never talk to him again. On command, a stream of bile left his mouth. It took him a few seconds to realize that it was literal bile. He'd just thrown up all over Jamie, who was looking down at his soiled purple shirt in shock.

He is not her. You're disgusting.

Before he could stutter out any sort of apology, Jamie grabbed him by the arm and led him out into the rain, guiding him as he staggered along. Henry could tell he was about to enter full-blown panic mode: that familiar crushing feeling was settling on his chest, and that painful drum was beginning to beat inside his skull. He barely registered being set down in the front seat of a car. As an engine roared somewhere nearby, Henry curled up into a ball in his seat, wishing with all his waning strength to be with Mari.

Notes:

Henry's having a great time.

Next chapter ready to go in a week! Shockingly, there will be fluff in it.

(If anyone believes they saw this chapter without a title, you are WRONG!)

Chapter 5: Warmth

Summary:

Kel has some enforced bonding time with the Hooligans. Henry confronts his actions from the previous night.

Did Not (And Will Never Again) Forget the Chapter Title Award - me

It had been a few weeks since Kel had been reunited with Aubrey. The Hooligans were now back in force, ruling the suburbs of Faraway with an iron fist – which mostly entailed sitting outside Othermart with candy and glaring at passersby. There wasn't too much terrorizing you could do on scooters. Still, Kel was happy to see Aubrey back in her element, even though it meant there weren't too many opportunities for the two to actually hang out together. He always made sure to give her a cheerful wave whenever he saw her out with the Hooligans, and without fail he'd get a wave and a smile in return. Every time it happened his heart leapt a bit. It felt so nice to have his friend back again.

Occasionally he would manage to catch Aubrey by herself. This was usually when she was at Basil's house. Though Aubrey's mom had ended up taking her back after a few days just as Aubrey had predicted, any time during the day that she wasn't with the Hooligans she usually spent at Basil's house, doing various things with Polly. Keeping all of Basil's plants alive and awaiting his return was apparently a pretty full-on task. Whenever Kel happened to be going past Basil's house and saw the two of them working in the garden, he'd make sure to join in, and the three of them would while away the hours chatting about nothing. Luckily this happened quite often. Not that he was deliberately going by Basil's house as often as he could to check if Aubrey was there. That would be weird. He just… forgot where he was going a lot! Hopefully Polly and Aubrey believed that.

All this was possible thanks to Kel's indefinite grounding being lifted – silently and without warning, as was his mother's usual method. Kel had only found out about this when he'd accidentally walked straight out the front door in full view of his mother and she hadn't said anything. But that hadn't done anything to make home any less tense. His parents barely had anything to say to him. But of course they still called Hero pretty much daily. Their faces always lit up whenever they were speaking to him. They looked actually interested in his life. Kel hated that more than anything.

Every time they called Hero, they'd yell for Kel to come down and talk to him as well. Every time, Kel would ignore them. Every time, he'd feel like shit for brushing off his brother. But he could never bring himself to approach that phone.

Unsurprisingly, he preferred to stay out of the house as much as possible.

Today was a beautiful summer day: the sun was out, it was warm without being too hot, and the air was filled with the calls of birds and the chirping of cicadas. It was no day to be cooped up inside. Kel left the house bright and early, his looted basketball in hand, and headed for Faraway Park. Hopefully some of his teammates from last year would be there as well. Kel was dying for a good three-a-side game.

As he jogged up the sidewalk towards the park, though, he heard a familiar rumbling of wheels on concrete behind him. He turned around to see a convoy of mounted Hooligans, with a grinning Aubrey leading the pack on her old bike.

Kel smiled and waved, as usual. "Hey, Aubrey!"

Aubrey surprised him by screeching to a halt next to him. "Hey, loser. What are you doing right now?"

"Oh, I was gonna go play some basket–"

"Nope. You're coming with us. We're going to the old hangout spot. This is an order, not a request, by the way, if that's what you're about to ask."

"Huh?" Kel asked, bemused. "But… you're already hanging out with these guys…"

Aubrey flicked his forehead and glared at him. "Kel, we're not gonna do it like this where I have to hang out either with you or with my gang. You can learn to tolerate each other. And you will. At the hangout spot. Which is where you are going now."

Kel looked down the line at the rest of the Hooligans. Charlene and Vance at least didn't seem too bothered by this turn of events, but Mikhael and Angel were looking sullen. Kim wasn't too impressed, either; she stuck her tongue at Kel as his eyes passed over her. Kel returned the gesture.

"But I don't have a scooter…"

"Run, then. It's good for you." And with that, Aubrey rode away, the rest of the Hooligans following quickly behind her. Kel laughed – these guys clearly had no idea who they were dealing with. Run? Oh, he could run, alright. He put his head down and sprinted, enjoying the feeling of his legs, twitchy from disuse, finally having some work to do. Offended shouts rang out as Kel passed the Hooligans and sprinted through the park towards the hangout spot. Aubrey, who as the only person on a bike was the only person who had any chance of catching him, shrieked and rode off in hot pursuit.

On a paved road, Kel would have had no chance against Aubrey's bike. But the dirt and grass of the park was slowing her down a lot more than it was slowing him. He barrelled through the bushes that had grown over the entrance to the hangout spot, arms held protectively out in front of him to deflect any twigs or thorns. Bursting out onto the grassy lakeside, he hollered in triumph before diving off to the side, narrowly avoiding being ridden down by Aubrey as she came up behind him.

Kel lay on his back in the grass, trying to stem his laughter while gulping in air. He hadn't felt that exhilarated in ages. As he wheezed and giggled to himself, Aubrey appeared above him, hands firmly set on her hips.

"Beat you," Kel gasped, instinctively curling up and waiting for Aubrey to land a kick on him. Instead, Aubrey just shook her head, her mouth twitching a little, and offered him a hand. Kel pulled himself up, and the two stood facing each other. The rest of the Hooligans hadn't caught up yet, so for the moment it was just the two of them. Aubrey narrowed her eyes and started chewing on her bottom lip. It looked like she was deep in thought.

"That was fun," Kel said, beaming. Aubrey smiled and shoved him playfully, muttering a quiet "loser". Before Kel could respond, there was a loud crash as the rest of the Hooligans plowed into the clearing.

"Did you beat him, Aubrey?" Kim yelled, running up to them. "Tell me you beat this nerd." Kel turned to Aubrey and flashed her a smile. Aubrey went red and turned away, and Kim's face fell. "Aw, man…"

A screeching voice rang out, making Kel's ears hurt. "KEL! MY ARCH-NEMESIS!" He turned to see Mikhael storming towards him, Angel hurrying along behind him. Mikhael's wig was slightly off-kilter, but Kel didn't feel the need to point that out to him. He walked straight up to Kel and puffed out his chest at him, which might have been a bit more intimidating if he was taller than Kel's shoulder height.

"You may have vanquished me before," Mikhael proclaimed, "but that was an unfair matchup! You and the knife boy ganged up on me. This time, there will be no distractions. It will be you against me. Then we shall see who is the superior man."

"Man, I don't want to fight you again. I've got better things to do."

"You're not going to fight him," Kim explained snootily. "This will be a test of strength and endurance."

Kel looked Mikhael over, taking in his noodle arms, his chunky jacket that looked like something out of an anime and that he must have been absolutely sweltering in, his knobbly knees. "...okay?"

"Vance! Charlie!" Kim called. "Take those scooters over to the other side of the lake!" Kel's eyes narrowed – they'd definitely been fiddling around with their scooters before Kim called them. He saw Vance slip something into his back pocket and wink at him as the two jogged off. What were they planning?

"You will be doing a Faraway triathlon!" Kim explained. "The rules are simple. You'll run from here to the lake. You'll swim from one side of the lake to the other, where the scooters are. Then, you'll take the vehicle with your color on it " – she pointed out the strips of fabric Vance and Charlie were tying to the scooters, one yellow and one orange – "and ride back here to the start! Whoever comes first wins and gets bragging rights. You got that, nerd?"

Kel was lost. There had to be some kind of catch here. How could he possibly lose this? "Uh, sure, I guess?" He turned to Aubrey for guidance, but was only met with a blank expression. Sometimes Kel really didn't understand how Aubrey had found herself with such a weird group of people.

While Vance and Charlene hurried back, Kim marked out the start and finish line with a stick at Kel's and Mikhael's feet. Mikhael hopped around on the spot, swinging his limbs around randomly while Angel chanted at him. Kel did a few stretches, but spent most of the prep time in a staring contest with Aubrey. Aubrey won.

"ON YOUR MARKS!" Kim yelled. Mikhael settled into a position that might have looked like a sprinter's start in bad light. Kel ran in place a bit.

"GET SET!" Mikhael was inching slowly over the starting line. Kel wasn't too bothered.

"GO!!!"

Kel blitzed past Mikhael immediately, clearing the distance from the starting line to the lake in a matter of seconds. He leaped with all his might off the pier, and for a few glorious seconds he flew above the water. Then he landed. The freezing cold nearly made Kel seize up, but he straightened out and started to carve through the water.

Faraway Town was a long way from the beach, and the community pool wasn't really a place you could actually learn to swim in – mostly because it was usually half full of kid pee and dead leaves. For most of his life, Kel hadn't really known how to swim beyond what he figured out doggy paddling in the lake. Luckily he lived next to one of the best swimmers in the state. One summer he'd managed to convince Cris to teach him how to swim properly. It had taken ages to convince his parents they weren't dating, but at the end of it Kel had become a pretty decent swimmer. He wasn't very graceful or efficient, but his powerful legs and arms made up for that. After a while, the icy water actually became quite refreshing. The cold cleared his head and made him focus on his body rather than his mind.

He scrambled up onto the far bank and paused to look behind him. Mikhael was splashing around near the other end, making a lot of noise but not moving very far. He hadn't taken his jacket off. Or his wig. The Hooligans were screaming at him to get a move on. Kel grinned and trotted over to the scooter with the orange fabric tied around it. At least this would be over quickly and hopefully teach Mikhael a lesson he'd actually remember.

But as soon as he touched his scooter, the two halves separated from each other. Kel held the upper half in one hand and stared helplessly at the ground. They'd rigged it! Of course they had. There was no way they'd actually let Mikhael challenge him to a fair race. He looked back to the starting line to see Kim giving him the middle finger. If only he'd taken up his dad's offer to teach him some DIY stuff last summer…

Maybe it wasn't over quite yet, though. Mikhael was still nowhere near the far side of the lake. Kel had time to figure out a plan. His eyes narrowed in on Aubrey's bike, lying on the grass with the other scooters back at the start. Perfect.

He untied the orange fabric from his broken scooter and sprinted around the lake, back towards the start. As he made a beeline for the bike, Kim ran out in front of him, screaming "YOU HAVE TO RIDE BACK HERE! YOU'RE CHEATING!"

"I will ride back here!" Kel called cheerily, shouldering past Kim. He tied the orange fabric around one handlebar of Aubrey's bike, lifted it up, and started running back to the other side of the lake.

Over Kim's offended shouts he heard a piercing yell from Aubrey. "KELSEY, IF YOU BREAK THAT, YOU'RE DEAD!" Anyone else would have thought Aubrey was mad at him, but Kel could hear the note of grudging respect in her voice. If she was actually angry, she'd have been charging after him, bat in hand. He let the warmth of that respect course through him and kept his legs pumping.

He'd been running for a while at that point, and his pace was starting to slow. His arms were aching from holding the bike up. But Mikhael wasn't doing much better. By the time he finally managed to straggle his way out of the lake, gasping for breath and minus his wig, Kel was nearly back at the far side of the lake again. When Kel finally got back to where he was supposed to start and set the bike down, Mikhael was only about ten yards ahead, dragging himself along on his scooter with tired legs.

Though Kel's legs bumped the handlebars as he pedalled, and the bike didn't negotiate the terrain very well, the ride back to the finish line was nice and relaxing. He cruised to a stop well ahead of Mikhael, and was greeted by an infuriated Kim. "That's cheating!"

"Nope," Kel replied. "You said we had to use the vehicle designated by our color. You never said we couldn't change which vehicle that was. Also, you cheated first! You broke that scooter."

Kim went red, muttered something under her breath, then went to yell at Mikhael as he trundled over the finish line, looking like a dead fish slumped over the handlebars of his scooter. Aubrey walked up next and looked him over with something approaching admiration. "You just used your head to outsmart someone," she teased him. "Must feel pretty good."

"It does," Kel admitted. "It'll feel even better in a few seconds, though."

"What does that mean?" Aubrey asked. "Also, get off my bike now, loser. You had your fun."

"Ah ah, wait a bit. Who were you rooting for in the race?"

Aubrey rolled her eyes and made grabby hands at the bike. "You. Now give me the bike back."

Hook, line and sinker. Kel smirked at her. "Run. It's good for you."

Aubrey's eyes widened as she realized what was about to happen, and she lunged for the bike. But she only met empty air. Kel rode off cackling to himself, listening to the confused shouts of the Hooligans as they tried to marshal a response. Over the noise once again rang Aubrey's trademark shriek.

"KEL! GET BACK HERE! KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!"

***

Hero sat on one of the benches at Faraway Park, listening to the leaves rustling in the wind and gazing off into the distance. Kel was racing around the park, yelling and screaming and generally making a nuisance of himself. Hero would never understand how he had this much energy. He'd been bouncing off the walls all day, so their parents had told Hero to take him down to the park to run around. Hero couldn't help but feel a little annoyed about it. It always ended up being his job to shepherd Kel around, and it got pretty boring after a while.

A yell brought Hero out of his thoughts. Kel had tripped over something in full sprint and was now lying on the ground, shouting and clutching his leg. Hero walked over to see what was up. He saw trickles of blood coursing down Kel's leg – had he fallen onto a root or something? Hero felt like he was forgetting something. Wait, he was meant to be on his date with Mari right now! They'd promised to meet at the hangout spot. How could he have forgotten? Mari would be so mad if he was late. Hero ran off towards the entrance to the hangout spot, ignoring Kel's cries. He glanced back for a moment and instead saw an older Kel, curled up on the ground with blood flowing from his head. Kel raised his head, reaching out for him, his face tear-streaked and begging for his older brother. But Hero kept going. He couldn't be late.

As Hero fought his way through the underbrush that had grown over the pathway to the lake, he spotted Mari in the distance sitting on her picnic blanket. She had a whole feast laid out for the two of them, including a whole roast chicken. When had she found time to do that? She'd been so busy recently…

The bushes were getting thicker and thicker as Hero pushed through them. He wasn't getting any closer to Mari. He was going to be late. He was going to be late for their date and Mari would hate him. Thorns snagged at his clothes and scratched his flesh. Every step became exponentially harder than the last.

At the picnic blanket, Mari was turning around, clearly looking for him. Worry was etched onto her face. She was grabbing at the front of her shirt as she searched for him – a stress response she shared with her brother. With every second that passed, she looked more and more agitated. Tears sprang to her eyes. Hero tried to cry out to her to tell her he was there, but his mouth wouldn't move.

Eventually Mari got up and grabbed her picnic basket, hiding her eyes with the other arm. She ran off, clearly crying, leaving all the food behind on the blanket. Hero tried to scream with all his might, but couldn't utter so much as a squeak. He was late. He was late, he was late, he was late, he was late, he was late, he was late, he was late, he was late…

The trees grew over him and encased him in a prison of roots and thorns.

Henry opened his eyes and found himself lying on his back in bed. The first thing he noticed was his pounding headache. The second was a strong smell of coffee. He groaned a little and turned to the side. He was in his dorm room, and he was still wearing yesterday's clothes. Against his head's throbbing protests, he sat up and tried to blink his dizziness away. Meanwhile, Bowen wandered into the room holding what smelled like a cup of coffee. He was dressed very formally.

"Good morning, Henry," he said. "I have a second cup for you, if you'd like. From what Jamie told me, it seems like you had a bit of a rough night."

Jamie…?

Oh, Christ.

It all came flooding back to him in an instant: the party, the alcohol, the kiss, throwing up afterwards. Henry shut his eyes and willed this all to be a dream. Unfortunately, the world wasn't kind enough to grant his wish. Then a thought occurred to him, and his eyes popped open again.

"Wait, if Jamie drove me back to the dorms, when did you talk to him? What day is it?"

Bowen chuckled. "It is Sunday. The party was last night. Jamie brought you back here and stayed with you until I got back from the party myself. I… must admit I was not paying attention to my phone, and did not notice that Jamie had been trying to call me. I think he had been waiting around for a while by the time I got back."

Jamie had been the one to bring him back to his room? How did he even know where it was? This was all too much for Henry's brain right now. He was functioning at about 10% mental capacity.

"What did Jamie tell you?" Henry asked hesitantly.

"He said that you drank a lot of alcohol and became distressed. Then you tried to leave the party and threw up on him, so he decided that he would drive you home. He sounded quite worried about you. I would suggest talking to him."

So Jamie had left out the kiss. Henry internally thanked him for that, before realizing he should probably just go and do that in person, along with apologizing for kissing him in the first place and then throwing up all over him. And for unloading his problems onto him. He had a fair few things to apologize for.

Henry sighed. "Yeah, I should probably go and talk to him now. He's on the second floor, right? What room?"

"205," Bowen replied, adjusting his tie slightly. "I wish you luck. However, I have to leave now. I suppose I shall see you this afternoon."

Henry cracked a smile. "You're looking quite dapper there, Bowen. Are you going on a date or something?"

Bowen managed a slight smile in return. "It is Sunday, Henry. I am going to church. Perhaps you should consider joining me. Whatever demons you are fighting, it seems to me that you have not defeated them yet."

He was nowhere close to defeating them. But that particular answer was not one he had much enthusiasm for. "Thank you, Bowen, but I'll have to pass today. I really should talk to Jamie as soon as possible. But thank you for offering."

Bowen shrugged. "I will be praying for you. Remember, your coffee is on the dining table if you want it. And I believe there is some ibuprofen in the bathroom."

"Thanks, Bowen." Henry really was very lucky that he'd ended up with a roommate like Bowen. He doubted that a random stranger would have put up with quite so many of his antics.

Once Bowen left, a heavy cloud settled over Henry's mind again as he began to properly process the memories of the previous night. He… really hadn't lost his composure like that in a very long while. Jamie would be well within his rights to be absolutely furious with him. Henry fervently hoped that wouldn't be the case. He was genuinely a lovely guy to be around, with his easygoing and sensitive nature – not to mention that smile…

Stop . Henry sighed, ran his hands through his hair, and pulled on a pair of sneakers. Best not to stall any longer. Before he left, he swallowed a pill of ibuprofen and washed it down with half of the cup of coffee Bowen left for him. Man, that instant stuff was nasty.

As Henry walked down to the second floor, he noticed his heartbeat was starting to speed up a bit. He slapped his cheeks a few times to snap out of it. Regardless of how badly the conversation could end up going, he needed to have it. He'd done wrong, and he needed to apologize.

Or maybe there was a different reason his heart was racing. But Henry refused to contemplate that, in much the same way as he refused to contemplate why he'd even kissed Jamie on the cheek in the first place. It was just the alcohol. No need to read anything more into it than that.

Room 205. There it was. Just a nondescript wooden door like all the rest of them were. Henry swallowed and raised his fist to the door. He closed his eyes, gritted his teeth, and knocked. Then his eyes flew open again. What person in their right mind knocks on a door once ? Had too much time passed to knock a second time? Would it be even weirder now if he did? Had Jamie even heard it? Okay, well now it was definitely too late to knock again, but hopefully–

The door opened, and Henry was confronted with someone who definitely was not Jamie. For a start, he was even taller than Henry – so tall that he was stooping slightly to fit under the doorframe. He was dressed formally, just like Bowen had been that morning. His cornrows were immaculate, and he was wearing a pair of thick horn-rimmed glasses that made him look like an Oxford don. His expression was totally inscrutable as he peered down at Henry.

A faint memory rose to mind. Jamie had a roommate. Pre-med as well. Henry started to sweat. This was going to be his competition? This guy looked like he could snap Henry in half, both physically and intellectually.

"Uh, h-hi," Henry stammered. "Um… is there someone called Jamie here?"

The corners of the tall guy's lips twitched upwards. "Ah, you must be Henry. I've heard a lot about you. And yes, I've been told to expect you. Jamie isn't awake yet, but I'll go and get him up now. He's most bearable when he's just gotten up because he talks less."

"Wait, you know about me?" Henry asked, perplexed. The only response to that was an enigmatic smile, before the guy disappeared back into the room. Henry, left standing at the door, shifted his weight from foot to foot. The amount of butterflies in his stomach was irritating him. He could get through a simple conversation. He hadn't regressed that far, surely.

After what seemed like an awfully long time, the door swung open again. Henry's breath hitched in his chest. A pajama-clad Jamie was standing before him, blinking up at him. People back in Faraway always used to call Henry's hair a bird's nest, but Jamie's bed hair was something else. It was the sort of bird's nest that other birds would call the local nestowners' association about. And his pajamas were slightly too big for him. He looked… adorable. Henry had to fight the urge to pinch himself.

"Hey, it's the guy who threw up all over my favorite shirt," Jamie murmured sleepily, a smile appearing on his face. "You look a bit nervous. Did Omar scare you? He scares me a bit as well."

"I wish I scared you a little more," came Omar's dry voice from somewhere inside the room. "Then I might not have to listen to you constantly raving about your amazing friend from chemistry that you'd met once before last night…"

That woke Jamie up. He squealed and slammed the door shut behind him, leaving the two of them standing together in the hallway.

"Uh, yeah," Henry began. "Well, I mean no. Omar didn't scare me. Well… ah, I'm getting off track. Sorry for puking all over you. I hope your shirt's okay."

"It'll be fine," Jamie said, waving his hand dismissively. "It'll come out in the wash. At least I got a good story out of it. My car smells a bit, but it was due for a clean anyway."

"Thanks for taking me home as well. And for staying with me until Bowen got back. That was, uh… that was more than I could reasonably have expected of you. Sorry for causing you so much trouble."

"Don't worry about it," Jamie replied, his smile growing a little more somber. "You looked like you needed the company. You were, uh, thrashing around a whole lot and mumbling stuff. Nothing I could understand, before you ask. I did wonder whether I should call a doctor or something, but uh… well, anyway. It was no problem for me. Always happy to help."

Henry scratched the back of his neck. Now came the hard part. "And I'm also sorry for… for kissing you. I didn't ask you or anything, and that was really wrong of me. I promise you that that isn't who I usually am. I know the fact I was drinking isn't an excuse, but I just hope you don't think worse of me for it or think that I do that kind of thing a lot, because I don't. Next time I'll make sure I don't–"

Jamie poked him in the chest. "Henry, shush. If I'd had a problem with it, I would have told you. It was nice. Don't pull your hair out over it."

Henry lowered his head, acutely aware that he was blushing furiously. He was feeling fuzzy, and this time he couldn't blame the alcohol.

"Man, you've been freaking out about this all morning, haven't you?" Jamie asked gently. "Seriously, Henry, it's all good. It was a spur of the moment thing and, again, I would have told you if I didn't like it. Which I did, by the way. You're a good kisser."

Henry covered his face with his hands and groaned. Jamie chuckled. "I don't want to stop being friends or anything. In fact, I was meaning to ask if I could come over to your place sometime today. I hear Bowen makes a mean loaf of bread."

"That he does," Henry agreed, making eye contact with Jamie again. "And yeah, that'd be nice. Bowen's out at church right now, but you can come by anytime this afternoon if you want. Bowen did say he wanted to bake this weekend."

Jamie gave him a gleeful grin and pumped his fists. "Great! See you soon, then." Henry returned the smile and started to walk away.

But Jamie wasn't done. "Oh, by the way…" he said, causing Henry to turn around expectantly. "Something fell out of your pocket when we were leaving. Let me go get it." He ducked back inside his room, leaving Henry standing alone in the hallway. Henry suddenly felt a strange urge to go in there as well. He wanted to see this part of Jamie's life. Jamie had been in his room, so surely it would be okay if Henry saw his in return…

"Back," Jamie announced, before Henry had the opportunity to do anything stupid. In his hand he was holding the little white porcelain cat Henry had bought the previous day. He held out his hand, and Henry took the cat from him. Their hands brushed against each other. Henry wished the contact would last a little longer.

"By the way, you don't need to tell me where your room is," Jamie continued, winking. "I already know the way." Henry's cheeks flushed and he walked away, Jamie's snickering echoing behind him. He jammed the cat into his pocket as he went.

This was… concerning. He couldn't deny now that there was a part of him that felt a bit more than friendly towards Jamie. Not only was Jamie not Mari, but he was also a man, and Henry wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. The cat felt heavy in his pocket.

Traitor .

Obviously Henry himself had never had anything against gay people. But there was a difference between that and acknowledging the possibility that he could be one himself.

You promised her.

But that didn't make sense. There was no question that he'd loved Mari, but… could someone be into both men and women? Was that even a thing? Most importantly, though, for every rush of positive emotion he felt at seeing Jamie there was a corresponding rush of guilt and fury at himself.

You're disgusting. You're betraying her.

The darkness was beginning to reach up to him again. Henry felt his breaths become shorter and heavier. He banished all thoughts of Jamie from his mind, dug his hand into his pocket to grip the cat and quickened his pace. He really needed to get back to his room and change out of the clothes from yesterday, which he was still wearing. Maybe a shower would help calm his mind a little.

***

It had been raining in Faraway Town for the better part of a week, meaning Kel hadn't had much opportunity to leave the house. Locked up inside and unable to let off any steam around Aubrey and the Hooligans, he was starting to feel tense and uncertain again. He and his parents always seemed to be walking on eggshells around each other, afraid to engage with each other in case something snapped. Sally, at the very least, provided moments of happiness for him. He genuinely enjoyed looking after his baby sister, and his mom was always happy to leave Sally with Kel so she could get a bit of sleep. Babies were pretty demanding.

That day, though, the clouds had started to break a bit, and some weak sunlight was peering through in places. It was still wet and dripping outside – not park weather – so Kel was once again whiling away the hours keeping Sally company in the living room. Sally's curiosity was boundless. She never seemed to get bored of crawling around the carpet and pointing at random things. It was very cute.

"Baaaaaa… ba!" Sally cried, slapping at the couch. "Ba! Ba! Ba!"

"What are you doing over there?" Kel cooed. "Do you want to go up there?"

"Ba!"

Kel picked her up and sat down on the couch, but apparently that was no good. Sally started to whine and flap her arms around. Kel chuckled and set her back down on the floor. "You're silly."

Sally burbled in response and started off on her rounds again, peering over at various places in the room as she crawled around. It was about time for her to have her afternoon nap. Kel wondered if he should put her to bed now or wait for her to burn off some of her energy first. He knew from experience that when babies got tired they often decided to throw a tantrum, which then stopped them from sleeping, which then made them even more tired and angry. It was very confusing. But that's babies for you.

The sound of heavy footsteps down the stairs heralded the arrival of Kel's dad. Since he wasn't at work today, he was dressed casually in a t-shirt and jeans that were far too tight for him. "Look at you, looking after your little sister!" he exclaimed. "You two will be great friends when she's older. It's good she gets to spend so much time with her big brother."

One of them , Kel thought, but kept that to himself. Instead he said, "I hope so. But I'm gonna be so old by the time she grows up. She won't want to hang around with a boring old person like me."

His dad guffawed. "Ah, Kel, you say that, but you'd be surprised! One of my uncles had nine kids, and the oldest and youngest of them are still good friends to this day. Just don't ask about the other seven, hah. My cousins are a bit wild."

Kel was about to say something in response when his dad turned and headed straight for the phone. Kel's face fell. Normally his parents would call Hero in the evening once he was done with his day. But if they were feeling worried or stressed, they'd call him earlier in the day. Since it was barely after lunch, this meant it would be a bad day. Calling Hero always made his parents' mood worse, and often made dinner tense and quiet. Though his dad tried to hide how worried he was, his mom didn't. Seeing her so worked up over Hero always made something twist painfully in Kel's stomach.

"Hey, champ!" said his dad, the forced jolliness grating to Kel's ears. "How are things going over there?"

Kel stood up and headed for the stairs. He didn't want to be around for this.

"Hah. One day you're going to have to change your answers up a bit! Sorry, one sec… Kel!"

Kel's heart sank. He knew this day would come eventually. His parents had let him refuse to talk to Hero for a while, but he knew it couldn't last forever. Everybody had to make sacrifices for Hero, after all, because he was Hero…

Those thoughts again. Kel closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

"Kel, come on," his dad pleaded. "I get that you're upset with Hero for leaving so suddenly. So are your mother and I. But you can't just pretend he doesn't exist. It would be good for you two to talk. You guys were best friends for so long! You shouldn't let a little thing like this get in the way of that. You'll be brothers for life, after all."

Kel clenched his fists and lowered his head, trying not to cry. "If he wanted to talk, he should have stayed." His voice was shaky and quavering. He hated it.

Sighing, his dad ran one hand through his thinning hair. "I know, Kel. But you have to cut him some slack. Hero's been through a lot these past few years. I still don't know what happened with Basil and Sunny. Neither of you will tell me. But it's pretty obvious that whatever happened hurt him pretty badly. I think we can let him have some leeway on this one."

Kel's head whipped around to face him. Against his will, tears started to form his eyes. "It hurt me as well, Dad! But I guess that didn't bother him."

His dad raised his hands placatingly. "Okay, okay. You're right, I'm sorry. Of course it hurt you as well. But you know what I mean. Since everything with Mari happened, Hero has been so closed off. Sure, there's been times where he's seemed more like his old self, but we can all tell it's been hard for him, and I just think that we as his family should be there to support him–"

"YOU SHOULD BE THERE TO SUPPORT ME !" Kel screamed, his voice cracking on the last syllable. His dad stared at him, mouth open, frozen in shock. For a few moments the only sound in the room was Sally's crying – Kel's outburst had scared her. Hell, it had even scared him. It had been a very long time since Kel had last let his anger loose like that. He felt like his head was in a tumble dryer. He covered his eyes with one arm and turned, trying to block his dad's view of him crying.

"Kel…" His dad's voice was careful, like the voice you would use when trying to calm a feral animal. He couldn't take it anymore. He felt like punching something, kicking something, breaking something. Was this what Sunny felt like on the day of the recital? He sprinted for the front door, flung it open with a loud bang, and ran.

Alternating between hiccupping and sniffling, he ran down the sidewalk in the route he'd first memorized so long ago. Across the street, right and across the street again, down past the pink pinwheel where they'd first found Aubrey, crying over losing her shoe, then left.

Please let her be there.

He walked through the field of flowers, placed outside to soak up the sunshine after the days of rain, towards Basil's front door. He took a few deep breaths, hiccupped again, rubbed his eyes furiously and knocked. Quick, light footsteps approached, and Aubrey opened the door. It would have been the happiest Kel had ever been to see her, if he didn't count the day he'd first found her after she went missing. When she opened up for him, she had a playful smile on her face, but it died away as soon as she got a good look at Kel. Weirdly, though, the thing uppermost in Kel's mind was that she'd re-dyed her hair and gotten her contacts back. She looked pretty good.

"C-Can we go hit something? Please?"

Aubrey didn't hesitate or offer any comment. "Okay. Let me go grab my bat."

Notes:

Next chapter in a week! More fluff for Henry, not so much for Kel.

Chapter 6: Better in Company

Summary:

Henry gets a visitor from Faraway. Kel works some things out with Aubrey.

Notes:

This one is my favourite chapter so far. Hopefully you all enjoy as well!

Henry stifled a yawn as he trudged up the stairs towards the fourth floor of the dorm. It had been a long and tiring day of classes, and he was looking forward to a restful and relaxing evening before starting all over again tomorrow. Not that tomorrow would be a bad day, of course; in fact, it was rapidly becoming Henry's favorite day of the week. It was the day he had his chemistry class with Jamie. Something about the two of them working on their practicals together made Henry feel totally at ease, especially since it was usually Jamie, with the much greater skill and experience, leading the activity. Sometimes it felt good to just go along with the flow. It wasn't the only time in the week he saw Jamie, since he was now often turning up to Henry's room to chat either to him or to Bowen, but having a time of the week reserved just for the two of them made Henry feel warm.

Thus, it wasn't a surprise to him when he opened the door to see Jamie leaning on the countertop. It was, however, a surprise to see the second newcomer, working diligently alongside Bowen in what could only have been another round of bread-making. Henry had eaten more fresh bread in the last few weeks than in most of his life up to that point. Some pop song Henry didn't recognize was playing out of a boom box that had been set up unsteadily on the small dining table.

"Hey, Daphne," Henry said, closing the door behind him. "I didn't know you were coming out here. How have you been?"

Daphne hummed merrily in response and kept working alongside her twin brother. Henry supposed it was a bit much to expect Daphne to talk to him when the twins were so engrossed in their work. If there was one thing they knew how to do, it was bake bread. If there was one thing they did not know how to do, it was any other thing at the same time as baking bread.

Jamie's head swivelled towards him at the sound of his voice, and a broad smile broke across his face. Henry couldn't help but smile back. A happy Jamie was contagious, and very good at breaking through Henry's downcast armor. The second thing Henry noticed, though, was a minor miracle. Jamie was wearing a green coat with black pants.

"You're actually dressed normally today?"

"You wish," Jamie said, taking his coat off. Underneath was a black-and-white striped shirt.

Henry sighed. "Okay. You're a mime."

"I was considering a career change," Jamie said, winking at him. "Anyway, check out these two crazies over here. I feel like I'm watching aliens." While Jamie spoke, Bowen, who was rolling dough, suddenly stopped dead. Without any obvious form of communication between the two, Daphne, who was facing in literally the opposite direction, grabbed a container full of some sort of powder and handed it behind her to Bowen, who took it and started sprinkling it over the dough.

"See what I mean?" Jamie asked. "Inhuman. They have to have some kind of special sign language or something. Either that or they can read minds."

"We have trained together for many years in the art of baking," Daphne said.

"We know each other's minds as we know our own," Bowen added.

Henry laughed at Jamie's dumbfounded expression. "You clearly haven't spent enough time around these two. Trust me, you get used to it."

Jamie shook his head. "Your hometown really is full of characters. Anyone else you'd care to tell me about?"

"Well," Henry began, shooting a cheeky look at the twins, "there is one person. He likes to wear a bright yellow wig around and pay girls to pretend to hang out with him at the fountain in the plaza. Also, he makes everyone call him The Maverick."

Daphne sighed. "Our little brother has gone astray. He is too cool for us now. But we still love him."

Jamie looked back and forth between Henry and the twins. "You're… joking, right?"

"Nope! And then there's the Recycultists, but that's a whole other story that would take ages to tell. Our town is really weird. As you say, there's a lot of very memorable people."

Some you'd prefer to forget.

"You might have something in your water," Jamie suggested. "I can come down and take a look for you. The Maverick might have lead poisoning. Or maybe Daphne can go and do it herself. Before the two of them started on this delicious loaf of bread, she was actually telling me about how she was considering studying chemistry herself if her parents will let her away from the shop for a while."

"Really?" Henry asked, impressed. Though Daphne had always been the more outgoing of the two twins, he'd had no idea she had plans other than becoming the fifth generation to run the family bakery. Then again, he'd had no idea Bowen was planning on going to college either. It seemed like the twins had a lot more to them than he'd known.

"Yes," Daphne said, finally turning to face him. Her warm brown eyes regarded him like a long-lost friend. "I have come here mostly to see Bowen. I have been missing him. But I am also checking out this college in the hopes that I too may come here some day. I have always enjoyed the science behind baking as well as the art. Though I haven't had much time to explore. Our parents insisted that I return home early tomorrow."

Before Mari and Sunny had moved to Faraway, since Kel was too young to do much, Henry's playmates had included Daphne and Bowen. Daphne, as the more talkative of the two, had been one of the first people Henry had called a friend. Alone among everyone else in Faraway, Daphne had only ever called him Henry: the name she'd known him by when they were closest. Henry's love for Gino's and Hero Sandwiches had needed to wait for Kel to get old enough to continually pester their parents for pizza. Henry wondered if Bowen had told Daphne about his name preferences. It was probably safe to assume he had – the two basically shared a brain. Still, he was grateful that there was no possibility of a slip-up. Dropping his old nickname in  Jamie's hearing would require some explanations Henry really didn't want to give. 

While Henry was lost in his memories, Jamie had started talking. "It's pretty cool stuff. You're basically eating a whole lot of carbohydrates that a bunch of little creepy crawlies have been breathing into. I've always wondered whether you could suffocate someone by putting them in a room with enough active yeast."

"Can't say I've ever considered that possibility," Henry replied, grinning, "but that's really cool, Daphne. It'd be great to have you up here as well. The more, the merrier."

Daphne smiled, though it was a little sad. "I suspect my parents will not allow me to do so just yet. At least not until Bowen returns home. There must always be at least one of us working in the shop – oho, one moment."

While Daphne had been talking, Bowen had walked off to grab something out of the fridge. This left the dough wide open, and Jamie's hand had been slowly creeping towards the raw dough. Without even looking, Daphne grabbed a wooden spoon off the table and rapped it hard across Jamie's knuckles. Jamie jumped back and yelped, clutching his hand to his chest.

"Do not touch the dough," Daphne scolded him. "That is unhygienic."

"Henry, she hit me! Do something!" Jamie was pouting. Henry only clicked his tongue and gave him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, Jamie, but she's right. You shouldn't mess around with raw dough. I bet you haven't washed your hands."

Jamie sighed. "Man. I engender hatred and ill feeling. Does anyone even love me… agh!" His musings were cut off as Henry pulled him into a side hug and mussed up his curly locks.

"The dough is ready for the oven," Bowen announced, clearly having no time for any of this nonsense. "I shall set a timer. Then, Henry, we shall have some fun."

Fun? With Bowen, that could mean pretty much anything. Henry noticed he was still holding Jamie tight to his side. Jamie nestled slightly into Henry's chest and peered up at him, a faint dusting of pink across his cheeks. Henry kept him there for a moment…

Traitor.

…but let him go. Jamie stepped away, smoothing down his hair with his hands. Unusually, he had nothing to say. A loud bang startled the both of them as Bowen slammed the oven door shut.

"It is time for fun," Daphne said. "Henry, I brought up a chessboard for my dear brother in the hopes that he could bond with you. He would very much like to play."

"Chess, huh? It's been a while since I've played. How good are you guys?"

"We played often for many years," Daphne replied. "It was a stimulating intellectual exercise. The thrill of a hard-fought game is similar to the feeling of pulling a beautifully crafted loaf of bread out of the oven."

"But all of our games end in draws," Bowen lamented. "I am hoping to achieve a decisive result. Let us play."

It seemed like there was no arguing. The four of them moved over to the dining table and shunted the boom box aside, turning off the music, to make room for the board that Daphne was digging out of her bag. Henry sat down opposite Bowen, who was busy getting into the zone, muttering random things under his breath.

"Winner plays me," Jamie declared. "I was on the chess team in high school, I know a thing or two. By the way, Henry, if you're good at this as well I'll never forgive you."

Henry chuckled. "I don't think you need to worry about that. I can barely remember how all the pieces move."

As Bowen and Daphne lined up the black pieces on one side, Henry had to confront the realization that he couldn't even remember how a board was supposed to look. Jamie, fortunately, was willing to assist. "Rooks there… yep, then the knights… then the bishops… no, the queen goes on the other side, it faces the opposing queen… yeah, there you go. One of your knights is facing backwards, but that's fine. It adds character."

Henry smirked. "How do you rate my chances?"

"Against these two? Well, let's just say I'll give you a full kiss on the lips if you manage it."

Henry went red and turned back to the board, spluttering. His eyes met Bowen's. There was no humor there. Henry was getting the distinct feeling that he was about to be eviscerated. Daphne stood at her brother's shoulder, peering over the board with a similarly stern expression.

"Are you going to help me out?" he asked Jamie.

"Nope."

Henry's residual memories of chess games long past was almost able to carry him through the first ten moves. Then Bowen did something he didn't expect, and he was suddenly thrown off his rhythm. After a few moments of hesitation, he picked up one of his knights and moved it.

"Oho," said Bowen.

"You have blundered," said Daphne.

"You have blundered," Jamie agreed. "Mate in… five, I think."

Bowen moved another of his pieces, and Henry replied. Jamie sighed. "Okay, make that mate in one."

With a flourish of his hand, Bowen delivered a checkmate with one of his bishops. Henry chuckled, shook hands with Bowen, and sat back in his chair. There was a part of him that had actually thought he'd be able to pull that off. There was a different part of him that had really wanted him to be able to pull that off. He glanced up at Jamie, who was grinning down at him in that way that just made him melt.

"No kiss for you," he said, pretending to sigh in despair. "Now get up. It's my turn."

"I enjoyed that game," Bowen said as Henry got up for Jamie. "You should not be discouraged, Henry. Continue to learn, and we will have many excellent games together, I think. My record is now 406 draws to one win. Today has been a good day. Perhaps I shall even extend my record to two wins."

Jamie cracked his knuckles. "In your dreams, Bobo. I'll beat you even with your sister's telepathic communication. Not even your bread will be enough to cheer you up after that."

From the outset, it was clear that this was going to be a different caliber of game to the first. For starters, every move was taking about five times as long. And the twins were definitely communicating with each other, though Henry couldn't for the life of him figure out how. All of Bowen's moves were immediately preceded by a moment of eye contact between the two, like they were both confirming they had the same thing in mind. The more Henry thought about it, the weirder it got. Meanwhile, Jamie had put on his game face. His look of intense concentration, which usually only popped up when he was deep in the zone in a chemistry class, was on full display. His slightly narrowed eyes and pooched lips made Henry feel fluttery. It reminded him of late nights studying with Mari, the both of them bent over their work.

Don't think about that.

"Are you winning?" Henry asked.

"I am not," Jamie replied. "Quiet now. I need to concentrate." Henry tried his best to figure out how Jamie was losing by looking at the board, but whatever position they were in was well beyond him.

The timer dinged from the kitchen, and Bowen grimaced. "Henry, would you please be so kind as to go and fetch the bread? Do not tamper with it."

Wow, they really were in the trenches. Getting someone else to touch their bread? Henry headed over to the oven and very carefully removed from the oven to set it on the countertop for cooling. He turned around to see that Daphne had swivelled around, observing his every move with a beady eye. Henry couldn't help but giggle. Then Jamie lifted his head and met Henry's eye. Unseen by either of the twins, he winked, and lowered his head back to the table.

"I think we need some stakes in this game," Jamie said after a few moments. "What do you think, Bobo?"

"I am comfortable with my chances," Bowen replied, a hint of smugness in his otherwise flat voice. "What do you suggest?"

"If I win, you have to get a tattoo. Doesn't have to be a big one or anything, and it can be anything you want. How's that sound?"

"I can accept that," Bowen said, causing both Henry and Daphne to gasp simultaneously. "But if I win, you must get one of those nose rings. The big golden ones that they use to pull bulls around."

Jamie laughed. "Deal. I'll even throw in a choker with a cowbell on it to complete the look."

"Guys," Henry said, trying to keep the rising stress out of his voice, "I don't think this is a good way to make life-changing decisions like this. And this is a terrible trade, Bowen. Tattoos stay on your body forever."

"I can wear the ring forever," Jamie volunteered.

Henry put his head in his hands. "That is absolutely not what I meant. Or want. Please don't do anything stupid." An image of Jamie wearing a giant nose ring popped into his head and made him want to throw up. Suddenly he really wanted to make sure Jamie wouldn't lose this game.

"I'm not doing anything stupid," Jamie said. "Now get over here. I'm gonna show you something cool."

Henry dutifully wandered over to the chessboard. As soon as he got close enough to see the board, Jamie moved his queen into a completely undefended position in front of Bowen's king.

"What?!" Henry shouted, hands instinctively going up to claw at his hair. "Jamie, what are you doing? Oh, my God. Do you think this is funny? A nose ring…"

Jamie clutched his stomach, howling with laughter. It was only then that Henry noticed Bowen had gone very pale. Daphne rested a comforting hand on her brother's shoulder. "Our parents will be displeased, but… we put up a good fight. We almost had him beaten. There is honor in a well-fought defeat."

Henry was bemused. With the look of a man marching to his execution, Bowen reluctantly captured Jamie's queen with one of his pawns. Within a few moves, Jamie suddenly had Bowen's king pinned against the back corner of the board.

"Check and mate, Bobo," Jamie said, moving his rook into position to complete the rout. "406 draws, one win and one loss. I'm looking forward to seeing your designs. Maybe you can have a little bread slice on your upper arm or something, just so people aren't under any misapprehensions about what you like doing."

Bowen stared at the board, deep in thought, Daphne massaging circles on his back. Jamie leaned back in his seat and gave Henry another cheeky grin. A totally unwarranted surge of relief shot through him. Irritated, he pushed it back down. It would just have been a nose ring. A really big nose ring. And a cowbell. It wouldn't have been that bad. And yet Henry found himself absurdly grateful that it wasn't going to happen. Even his sympathy for Bowen couldn't overpower that feeling.

"Okay, so, let's not make any more bets we might regret," Henry suggested. "We've still got some time to kill. How about we watch a movie? I've got some old VHS tapes I took from my parents' house. Then all four of us can help make dinner. Maybe some kind of soup, given we've got all this bread."

There was a general chorus of agreement, and the other three moved to the couch while Henry fired up the VCR. Knowing his audience, he picked an old Sweetheart movie – one of the many released direct to VHS and constantly filling Hobbeez's movies section back home, much to Kel's disgust. While working, he listened to the sound of Jamie and Daphne chatting behind him, with Bowen's flat baritone joining in occasionally. He'd missed moments like this so much. Part of him had even thought he'd never experience something like this again: a genuine, honest-to-God movie night with friends.

He finished setting up the movie, turned off the lights in the room, and headed back to the couch to join the others. Jamie patted the spot directly next to him and raised an eyebrow, an offer Henry gratefully accepted. As the intro credits played and Sweetheart's piercing voice screeched out of the TV with all the elegance of a chainsaw, the twins were already fixated on the screen.

Henry felt a slight pressure on his side. Jamie was leaning slightly into him, but still facing the screen for plausible deniability. Henry chuckled quietly and slung one arm over Jamie's shoulder. Jamie reached up to squeeze his hand in appreciation, and turned to look at him. Even in the faint light cast by the TV, Henry could see the blush on his cheeks.

"Eyes on Sweetheart," Henry whispered. Jamie rolled his eyes and turned back to the screen, but the hand reached up again to grab Henry's own.

For a moment, Henry thought he must have been dreaming, because there was no voice in his head screaming at him to stop.

***

The last time Kel had been to the Faraway junkyard was many years ago, when his dad had taken him out to drop off the husk of their old broken water heater. He'd managed to cut his finger on a sharp piece of scrap metal. As soon as they'd gotten home his mom had whisked him off to the doctor to check for an infection, scolding him all the way there for being so reckless around sharp objects. Still, the trip was fun. And it had been kind of funny to hear his dad getting an earful about it afterwards as well.

This time there was no excitement. The weather didn't help. Though the clouds had passed by that point, the week of rain had left dirty puddles everywhere and turned the ground into sludge. Aubrey tapped her bat, now de-nailed, on the ground as she walked, marking out some kind of rhythm. Kel kept his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the road, though he occasionally snuck glances at Aubrey beside him. The awkwardness was starting to get to him. Did Aubrey not want him out here? Was she waiting for him to say something? Was this some kind of elaborate revenge scheme, and she was about to brain him with her bat and leave him for dead? Was he panicking? Maybe a bit.

Aubrey led him through a sea of rusting cars to a small clearing of yellowing grass. There had obviously been activity here recently. The cars framing the clearing had been graffitied many times over, and most of them were pretty badly dented. The clearing itself was littered with cigarette butts, empty bottles and candy wrappers. There was a patch of scorched grass in the center of the clearing where it looked like someone had tried to light a fire. Aubrey led him off to one side of the clearing, where there was a pile of cans, most of which looked as dented as the surrounding cars.

"Set 'em up on the hoods of some of these cars," Aubrey said, gesturing to the cans. "Once you've hit enough to make you feel a bit better, then we can talk about stuff. Or not. Whatever you want." With that, she handed over her bat and went to sit on top of a car, observing Kel impassively.

Kel hefted the bat. It was a lot lighter than he expected it to be. He glanced back at the mess in the clearing. "Do you guys come here a lot?"

"Yup," Aubrey sighed. "Now are you gonna hit some stuff or what?"

"Okay, okay," Kel replied, a little defensively. He grabbed a few cans from the pile and set them atop the hood of a nearby car. A click behind him startled him, and he whirled around to see Aubrey, cigarette dangling from her lips, trying to start a lighter. Aubrey caught his shocked expression and rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry about it. Focus on hitting stuff. I'm not going to pollute you with my delinquent ways. You'll get to go home and be a good boy again, I promise."

"That's not… I was just surprised!"

"Sure, Kel. If you had pearls, you'd be clutching them right now."

That irritated him. "Why are you being so mean? I didn't even do anything. I'm just asking you for help."

Aubrey lit her cigarette and exhaled. She'd positioned herself downwind of Kel, so the smoke billowed harmlessly away. "I saw your face when we came in here. It's the same face everyone makes when they see me. And I know what you and your friends at school say about me. Oh, look at how disgusting she is. Oh, look at how far gone she is now her dad's left. Oh, I've heard her mom beats the shit out of her every night. I heard she sleeps in piles of garbage and steals all her food."

"I never let any of my friends say things like that about you!" Kel cried, marching over to her. "Aubrey, I've never hated you. I'm sorry that we didn't talk for so long, but I want to make things better…"

Aubrey turned away from him, trying and failing to hide the tears forming in her eyes. "Just hit the damn cans, Kel!"

To say Kel was hurt was an understatement, but he knew it probably wasn't a good idea to press. Instead he walked back over to his cans and raised the bat. He closed his eyes, trying to channel the anger into his swing. The conversation with his dad replayed in his mind. Then his last conversation with Hero. Suddenly the image in his mind morphed, and he was no longer standing in a junkyard. Instead he was standing in his bedroom on a dark night four years ago, and the bat was raised not at a bunch of cans sitting on a car but at the immobile form of his brother, staring at the ceiling with puffy, teary eyes.

Kel opened his eyes and lowered the bat.

"You're so hopeless," Aubrey said from behind him. He turned to see Aubrey looking at him, slightly red in the face but otherwise with no trace of her previous loss of composure. She squashed her cigarette against the body of the car and tossed it away.

"I don't want to hurt anyone," Kel said. That, at least, was the honest truth. He didn't know much else about what he was feeling, but he did know that. "Are there people you actually want to hit?"

Aubrey smirked, though the bravado was hollow. "How much time do you have? Mom. Dad. You. Hero. Sunny. Basil. Pretty much any of my teachers. Take your pick."

Kel scowled. "Why? Why do you hate me so much? I was a kid, just like you. I didn't know what to do. I made some dumb choices, and I'm sorry for doing that. But I don't understand why you'd say something like that. It hurts, you know."

Aubrey took a shuddering breath and hung her head. "I don't want to hurt you, Kel. Not really. I've thought about hurting pretty much everyone in my life at some point. Back when I thought Mari had killed herself, I even sometimes thought about hitting her for taking herself away from me like that. It made me feel disgusting, but I thought about it anyway. And then once I knew she didn't kill herself, I still felt like hurting her anyway for thinking that stupid fucking recital was worth her life. But I never actually hurt anyone. I've never even hit anyone with my bat. I just come here and smash stuff that's already broken."

"Does it help?" Kel asked.

"Some days it does," Aubrey replied, swinging her legs. "Other days it makes me feel even worse, since every time I hit something I prove that everyone in Faraway is right about me."

"Not everyone," Kel objected. "Not the Hooligans. And not me. To me you're not just some violent bully. You're my friend, and we've been through so much together. I would never want you gone. I came back for you, didn't I?"

Aubrey chuckled. "Yeah, you did. Breaking and entering and everything. T-thanks for that, by the way. Again. I'm glad it was you who found me. I don't think there was anyone else I actually wanted to see."

Kel turned away, trying to hide the blush spreading across his face. Whenever Aubrey said something like that to him it was like an injection of pure joy. He stood there for a moment, trying to will his heartbeat to slow down a little.

"Look at you, trying to comfort me when we're supposed to be talking about you," Aubrey said eventually. "Classic Kel, huh? Always looking out for someone else and never for himself."

Kel scratched the back of his neck.

"Hero left, didn't he?" Aubrey prompted.

It took a few seconds for Kel to muster up the courage to respond. "Yeah, he did. After the hospital he pretty much went back to how he'd been when Mari died. Then he tried to sneak out of the house one day while the rest of us were out. I only caught him because I happened to come home while he was leaving. And… and I told him I needed him to stay, I begged him to stay, and he just… he just ignored me! And he left me to explain everything to our parents, and now they're just worrying about him and it's like the only time they recognize that I exist is when they're yelling at me for not wanting to talk to him or for not stopping him from leaving or some other crap that I just…"

He took a few shaky breaths, trying to stop himself from breaking down completely.

"...and it's always him! Everything is always about him! He gets a pass for everything because of Mari and apparently he's the only one who gets to feel sad about that, and it's okay if he doesn't want to tell Mom and Dad about what happened at the hospital but it's not okay if it's me, and… and…"

He couldn't hold back any longer. He sank to his knees, dropping the bat at his side, and started sobbing again, muttering rapid apologies under his breath. By that point he didn't even know who he was apologizing to: Hero? His parents? Aubrey? His brain had locked itself away from him again. Suddenly he sensed a presence in front of him, and a hand landed on his shoulder. He blinked away the tears in his eyes to find himself gazing into Aubrey's, which were full of fire. Her breath smelled a bit foul from the cigarette smoke, but Kel found himself thinking that it wasn't so bad.

"I… I need him back, b-but I need him to come back himself," Kel tried to explain. Aubrey's grip only tightened.

"That fucking asshole," she swore. "The next time he shows his face here I'll split that perfect jaw of his." One half of Kel was happy to hear Aubrey defending him. The other half was horrified. At that moment, Kel really couldn't tell which was real.

As Kel's sniffles gradually died away, Aubrey sighed, got to her feet and extended a hand for Kel to do the same. "Come on, let's try something else. Fuck Hero. Stop thinking about him for a while."

He pulled himself to his feet with her help. Aubrey chewed her lip for a moment, then picked up her bat and started walking away from him. "You still remember how to pitch?" she called back over her shoulder as she went.

"What… like baseball?"

"Yes," Aubrey snorted. "Like baseball. Chuck me a can or two, I want to work on my swing."

Kel shrugged and shook a bit to clear his head. Baseball had never been his favorite sport, but he'd still tried it out for a while in middle school. It was hard to find something he didn't enjoy playing as long as he had some cool teammates. He picked a can out of the pile, and Aubrey hefted her bat. "If you go easy on me, I'll hit you."

"Okay," Kel chuckled, hurling the can at Aubrey. Due to its bent shape, it veered wildly to the left and Aubrey was only able to catch it on the rim. It shot vertically into the air, spinning crazily, before dropping to earth and bouncing away in random directions.

"Boo," said Aubrey. "Get a good one this time."

"Try hitting it better," Kel shot back as he picked up another can – less dented this time. He geared up for a big throw. Aubrey's eyes gleamed in anticipation.

The can blurred out of Kel's hands towards her. Aubrey pivoted, catching the can perfectly in the middle of the bat. It soared into the sky as Kel watched, mouth open. Eventually it fell away somewhere out of sight. Kel thought it might have even cleared the junkyard entirely.

"Wow," he said, turning back to Aubrey. "That was pretty good. Man, you should totally join the baseball team when school starts back up! I've got some friends there and they've been looking for a real heavy hitter for so long. If you can pull that off in tryouts, they'll be begging you to join up!"

Aubrey lowered her bat, her smug expression now returning to neutral. "They wouldn't want someone like me on their team. I already get enough shit from people like that at school. I'm not gonna publicly humiliate myself like that."

Kel pouted. "I've never heard them say anything mean about you, but if they do I'll tell them to stop right away. Plus, there's no way they'd say anything like that once they see the way you hit."

For a moment, Aubrey just stared at him. Then she giggled slightly and sighed. "Kel, you're dumb sometimes. I get that you think everyone is great. Must be nice. But I don't think people are gonna stop gossiping about me just because I can hit a ball hard. They'll probably just say I learned it by smashing cars or something."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Kel objected. "Cars and balls are totally different! But I also think you're being too harsh. I know a lot of people on the team, and none of them are the type of person to say things like that. Although if they are saying that stuff to you, then I'll stop being friends with them right away. I don't want to hang around people like that."

Aubrey took a deep breath. "Kel, let's just leave it for the moment. I just want to let off a bit of steam, okay? Talking about sports teams and stuff is just… ah, let's just do something else. I think we left a couple of spare cans last time we were here. Maybe I can get you to be a real bad boy for once."

"There's cans right here?" Kel said, confused, but Aubrey only laughed as she walked past him.

"Follow me, Kelsey. All will be revealed."

The two walked over to one of the cars. A couple of cans of spray paint lay discarded in the grass in front of it. As they got closer, Kel was able to make out some of the messages scribbled on the car. There was a big 'THE MAVERIK', but the first half of it was too big for the amount of space so the second half was all squished together. There were a few penises, and someone had just written 'SHIT'.

"This is the clown board," Aubrey explained, handing him one of the cans. "We only let Mikhael and Angel use this one. Yknow, the first time Angel did this, he got so scared his sister would find out about it that he ran straight home crying. Don't tease him about it, though."

"I won't," Kel huffed. Then it dawned on him. "Wait. You want me to… graffiti!?"

Aubrey sighed loudly. "Kel, I know you're a total dork, but bear with me here. Do you think anyone is using this car right now?"

Kel looked over the car. Its windows were broken, it was missing all its tyres, all the upholstery had been removed and it didn't seem to have an engine. "...maybe the owner will come back for it?"

"Oh my God!" Aubrey yelled, quickly spray painting 'FUCK YOU' onto the car. "There. Now I did it. Nobody could ever possibly want this car now that it's got a rude message on it. You know, in case anyone still wanted it after seeing 'THE MAVERIK' on it. It's all yours."

When Kel still hesitated, she just grabbed his hand and forced his finger onto the trigger. Kel yelped as a spray of orange paint hit the car. "There," Aubrey said smugly. "You are now complicit in my crimes. Now stop being a loser and write something!"

But what to write? Kel scratched his chin, deep in thought, trying to ignore Aubrey's exasperated sighs. After a few moments, he slowly scrawled out 'Hi!' over the top of 'THE MAVERIK'.

Aubrey stared. "That's it?"

Kel thought for a moment longer, then added a smiley face to the end.

"Seriously? You can write anything you want to the world, without any judgment, and you just say hi?"

"Well, yeah," said Kel, stepping back to admire his handiwork. "I mean, should I have something else to say? Just 'hi' is okay for me."

He turned to look at Aubrey and was shocked to see tears forming in the corners of her eyes again. She covered her eyes with her hands and growled as her face went red. Kel was contemplating asking what was wrong when Aubrey did the unthinkable: she stepped up to him and hugged him, burying her face into the crook of his neck.

Pinballs started shooting around in Kel's stomach, and he could feel his face flushing. Aubrey was… right there , and she was hugging him! The warmth was overpowering. Kel hugged her back, wondering if this was all a dream.

"You're a good person, Kel," Aubrey mumbled into his shirt, sniffling occasionally. "Don't ever let anyone take that away from you. Not your parents, and especially not your stupid brother. You understand me? Don't let anyone take that away from you." The last sentence was emphasized by aggressive pokes to his chest.

Kel went even redder and held her tighter. "O-okay. I won't."

They stayed like that until Aubrey's sniffles died down, at which point she untangled herself from him and stepped back. The world felt a bit colder now that she was no longer in his arms. She stared at the ground and fiddled with her bow, which had gotten mussed up, until she was satisfied.

"You know, Polly bought the dye for me and helped me re-dye my hair," Aubrey said, in a shaky voice that indicated she could start crying at any moment. Kel knew enough by now to just listen. "I was just gonna steal it, but she insisted on taking me shopping. She bought me a bunch of new clothes too, since most of the stuff at my place is really old or moldy. The whole time I felt so bad for taking advantage of her when she didn't even know what I'd done to Basil. So that night I told her about everything I did to Basil. Turns out she knew the whole time. Basil told her ages ago. But she was still… she was still so nice to me. She told me Basil forgave me, and that she did too."

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Am I a bad person, Kel? There are so many good people around me, like you and Polly, who are just… nice. Just nice without conditions. And I'm not nice. I know that. I was so horrible to you and to Basil and even to Sunny, and I don't even have the excuse of what happened to Mari since I didn't actually know that at the time."

"You are nice," Kel said, moving closer to her and gently resting one hand on her shoulder. She didn't push him away. "You defend your friends and you stick to what you believe in. Yeah, you make mistakes, but everyone does. And I'm not always nice. When Kim first came to talk to me after you went missing, I blew her off. There was a part of me that hated you for leaving me again, even though I never went to see you."

"Me too," Aubrey whispered in a voice almost too soft to hear. "I thought you'd just gone off with your other friends again and forgotten about me. It… it made me so angry, but so sad as well."

Kel pulled her into another hug, and she returned it without question. Kel rested his face on the top of Aubrey's head. Her hair smelled really nice.

"Thanks for bringing me out here," he said eventually. "I think it helped me a lot. And I'm so glad we're friends again. I missed you a lot. I'm really, really sorry about not talking to you for so long. I was an idiot, I know. We should have gone through everything together. We could have helped each other. But we didn't, and I'm sorry for my part in that."

"I missed you a lot as well," Aubrey replied. "But the past is the past. We're here now. That's all we can ask for. Oh, and sorry for forcing you to sit through all my shit. But thanks for listening, I guess. Anyway, we should get the hell out of here and do something else. I don't want to sit in this miserable junkyard anymore."

Kel grinned. "Sure thing. Let's go get pizza."

"Pizza sounds nice," Aubrey admitted.

Notes:

I'm running out of ways to say next chapter in a week...

Chapter 7: Return

Summary:

Henry's masculine self-image takes a hit. An important arrival in Faraway interrupts Kel getting hot and bothered.

Notes:

Happy birthday to Aubrey!

This chapter turned out slightly hornier than usual since two horny segments in both narratives happened to line up with each other. But I couldn't resist a bit of Bowen thirst.

Henry had done plenty of difficult things in his life. One time a few years back, a whole bunch of his relatives had come up from Mexico for Christmas, and Henry and his mother had been left with the unenviable task of making dinner on Christmas Eve for a bunch of rowdy relatives who were tired and hungry from hours on the road. He'd managed it, even though his fingers had smelled like garlic for a whole month afterwards. In his second semester in college he'd somehow managed to get three finals scheduled on the same day. He'd managed that as well, and slept for about thirty hours straight afterwards. Most memorably, when he was fourteen he'd had to work up the courage to confess to Mari, his best friend who he'd been crushing on for nearly two years. He'd managed that, and when he came home that day he'd screamed into his pillow in pure joy, legs kicking in the air. Kel had thought he'd gone insane.

None of that, though, was close to being as hard as whatever the hell this was.

"So now that you've castled your king," Jamie was explaining, "you've got this setup with three pawns in front of it. This can be a pretty strong defence, but it leaves you vulnerable to a back rank mate." He moved one of his rooks to the back row of the board, demonstrating the checkmate on Henry's king. Henry, in the meantime, was trying to sort through dozens of pieces of information in his head.

"So then the obvious next question is whether you want to move the h pawn forwards to give your king an escape route if it's threatened like that, and if you do, when you should move it. Now, in a game like we have here, where the middle of the board is pretty closed off, the best thing to do would be to hold off on that… you still with me, Henry?"

Henry jerked his head up. "Uh… yeah. No, I'm just… just trying to remember all this stuff. You said you started playing chess when you were five?"

"Yup," Jamie replied, leaning back in his chair. "And trust me, when I was five, I was as bad at this as you were."

Henry frowned. "That doesn't make me feel any better."

Jamie's laugh was interrupted by the sound of footsteps arriving at the front door of Henry's room, and then the metallic jangle of keys. The two of them looked at each other and started to giggle quietly but uncontrollably.

"What do you reckon he ended up getting?" Jamie whispered.

"Daphne's face on his chest," Henry replied, and they started giggling again. As the lock clicked and the front door swung open, both of them composed themselves and tried not to look like they were too interested. As soon as Bowen stepped through the door, though, the facade fell away. Henry's jaw dropped.

"Woah," Jamie said from beside him.

Bowen had eschewed his usual dress shirt for a tank top. That by itself would have been enough to make Henry stare. He'd never noticed how… toned Bowen was. He knew that Bowen and Jamie went to the gym together on Saturdays – that was how they first met, after all – but Bowen had a physique that suggested he was much more than a casual gym goer. His arms looked really nice, and his pecs were clearly defined through the fabric of the top.

And then there was the tattoo.

In his bet, Jamie had been generous enough to say that Bowen could get whatever he wanted, at whatever size he wanted. Henry had assumed he would go for something small and relatively inconspicuous, given how his parents would react. But no. A beautiful swirling geometric pattern flowed from his right shoulder to just above the elbow. The skin around it was red and inflamed, and his entire upper arm shone weirdly in the light, but it was still gorgeous.

Henry was suddenly very aware of how good Bowen looked. He was also very aware that Jamie was very aware of how good Bowen looked. There was an almost hungry look in Jamie's eyes as he stared at Bowen, who at least had the decency to blush. Henry's face fell. Why couldn't he look at him like that?

Traitor.

"Uh… hi!" Henry said, trying to dispel the sudden weird tension in the room. "Seems like it went well. It looks really good!"

"Oh… thank you, Henry," Bowen replied hesitantly.

"Yeah, it's amazing," Jamie chimed in. "But, uh, I was kind of expecting you to go with something bread-related. Not that this is bad. It looks really good. I'm just surprised."

Henry had never in his life seen Bowen this emotive. He was grabbing one arm with the other in a very anxious pose. "T-thank you, Jamie. I must admit, I made this choice somewhat on a whim. I… was unaware of the amount of maintenance I would need to do. And of the risk of infection. I do not know if this was a good idea…"

"No, don't say that!" Henry said. "It looks really cool, Bowen. It's big, but you always wear your sleeves rolled below your elbows at the bakery so your parents probably won't notice. Plus I reckon you'll be a real ladykiller here with that."

"Or mankiller," Jamie added. "I'm feeling pretty killed right now." There it was again, that flash of jealousy. Jamie could be forthright with Henry sometimes, but it was nothing he couldn't attribute to his generally outgoing personality. This, though, was different. Henry had always secretly loved it when Mari had run her fingers down his torso, crooning over his nonexistent muscles. Seeing Bowen looking like that, and seeing Jamie responding to it so strongly, made him feel… strange.

By now, Bowen was too embarrassed to even look at them. "I… I will go to my room now. Please excuse my rudeness." He speedwalked over to the door leading to their shared bedroom and slammed it behind them, leaving Henry and Jamie gawking in his wake. The interior walls in the room were pretty thin, so they could easily hear Bowen shuffling around in the bedroom. Jamie fiddled around with one of his chess pieces while Henry stared at the floor, trying to will his thoughts back in order.

"Did you mean that?" Henry asked. "When you said that you, uh, were feeling killed?"

Jamie snorted. "Are you asking if I'm sexually attracted to men?" Henry's face flushed, and a slight smile broke over Jamie's face at the sight of it.

Henry stayed quiet, trying to figure out the best way to ask. Eventually, though, Jamie stepped in himself. "If that is what you're asking, then yes."

The two looked at each other for a moment. Jamie's demeanor seemed more strained than usual. His gaze almost seemed like he was searching for something. Henry fought to contain the strange feelings welling up inside him. "That's cool," he said eventually. "Uh, I mean, I don't have a problem with that or anything. I don't think Bowen does either. Hopefully."

Jamie chuckled. "He looks pretty good, doesn't he?"

Try as he might, there was no way he could convincingly deny it. "Yeah, he does. I didn't realize he was so fit. Your gym sessions must really be paying off."

Jamie shrugged. "He goes a lot, I think. He told me he started working out a while ago, when he was still in Faraway. But yeah, whenever we're there together he goes pretty hard. Could be just how he does things, could be masculine posturing. Who knows? I don't look too bad myself, by the way. You just haven't seen it yet."

Henry's eyes widened. Yet? Too late, Henry realized he was giving Jamie exactly the reaction he wanted. That gorgeous smirk was back. Henry scratched the back of his head and avoided his friend's triumphant stare.

"You should join us," suggested Jamie. "It's a good bonding activity. Plus, I'm pretty sure the amount of studying you do on weekends should classify as some kind of self harm. You need to get out a bit, ease your mind a little."

Henry smiled ruefully. "You've been talking to Bowen, I see." These days Bowen was always ready to deliver Henry a mental health lecture at a moment's notice. Probably because Henry still woke up most days struggling to breathe, and would collapse at his desk sometimes while studying late into the night. It was much better than it had been over the summer, but somehow Henry suspected that bringing that point up with Bowen would only make things worse. Luckily he hadn't had an attack as bad as the one on their first night as roommates.

"Maybe I have been," Jamie replied, the smile now gone. "You have secrets you don't want to share with me. Fine. Everyone has things they want to keep under wraps. But you should still make sure to take care of yourself. Bowen is worried about you. So am I."

Henry lowered his eyes to the chessboard, his gaze wandering over the position of each piece. He tried to imagine himself telling Bowen and Jamie about everything that had happened, from Mari's death onwards, but he just couldn't do it. It was still raw and glistening. Admittedly, he'd thought he was doing better at hiding it. But he'd rather claw his own eyes out than relive that night at Basil's.

"I don't know if I'd like that," he said. "The gym, I mean. You guys have been going for ages, and you're way fitter than me. I can barely run ten yards without running out of breath. I feel like you wouldn't have a very good time just watching me struggle to lift the bar."

"Everyone starts somewhere," said Jamie. "Consider it, at the very least. I think it'd be good for you. And, for what it's worth, I think you look plenty good enough without huge muscles." That got Henry to blush again, much to his indignation. Only Mari was supposed to have this sort of effect on him, Mari with her teasing smiles, her sparkling eyes, her wicked tongue…

Fingers snapped in front of his face, and Henry realized he'd been daydreaming. "Earth to Henry," Jamie said, now smiling again. There was a cheeky glint in his eyes. "Look, I've got a different idea. If your masculinity can't take a trip to the gym just yet, then we can do something else. Luckily I have a perfect destination in mind."

Henry laughed. "Go on."

Jamie cleared his throat in preparation for a long speech, and Henry rolled his eyes. "There's a little place about half an hour out of the city, pretty close to my parents' place. It's called… actually, I don't remember what it's called. It's a tiny little town. But they get loads of tourists. You know why they get loads of tourists?"

Henry sighed, trying and failing to suppress a smile. "I don't know, Jamie. Why do they get loads of tourists?"

"Because," Jamie said dramatically, "they have their very own American heaven."

"Huh?" Henry asked, nonplussed.

"Picture this. A Pizza House. A Taco Ring. A Divin' Donuts. Now picture them all together in one store. You can go from counter to counter, picking up the greatest that American culture has to offer all in the space of five minutes. It's a spiritual experience. Back when all my friends first got their licences in high school, we'd all drive out there after school every day. It was the place to be. Still is. I'm pretty sure it's the only triple fast food joint in the country."

Henry couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it. "You want to take me and Bowen out to three different fast food places at once. Am I understanding this correctly?"

"Who said anything about Bobo?" Jamie asked, winking at him. "Just you and me. What do you say? Next Sunday, maybe? I'm sure he won't mind."

Henry crossed his arms playfully. "Fine. But you'd better make it worth my while."

"Oh, I will. It's a date, then."

Henry sighed.

***

The weirdest summer of Kel's life was drawing to a close. Looking back on it, Kel had no idea what to think. It had started so well, with him finally managing to get Sunny out of the house. That triumph had turned to dust in his mouth pretty quickly. Sunny left, then Basil, then Hero. That wasn't great either. And yet Kel couldn't quite say it was a total writeoff. The last month or two had been… weirdly pleasant. Yes, he was still on awkward terms with his parents, but he was on much less awkward terms with the Hooligans. Some of them, anyway. Mikhael was still pretty weird.

And then there was Aubrey. Aubrey, who Kel could now, after so much time apart, finally call a friend again. Aubrey, whose genuine smile whenever she saw him felt better than an entire pizza pie. Aubrey, who made Kel's face grow warm and his stomach do somersaults just by seeing her. Aubrey, Aubrey, Aubrey. Kel was thinking a lot about Aubrey these days.

Was it a crush? Probably. Kel was kind of scared to admit it even to himself. Even with how much Aubrey had warmed up to him, he still knew Aubrey's reaction to any hint of Kel's attraction to her would probably result in him being beaten up. Or worse, it would destroy their newly rebuilt friendship. Kel had only just gotten her back into his life, and he was not going to risk messing that up by letting his pesky romantic feelings complicate things.

A part of him really wanted to talk to Hero about it. This sort of thing had always been his brother's bread and butter. But there was a much larger part that wanted nothing to do with him. So he stayed away from that phone, no matter how much his parents pleaded with him.

Besides, it was too nice a day to think about Hero. The August sun was warm, but not uncomfortably so. A gentle breeze quietly rustled the leaves of the trees. There were kids on every street, running around and screaming, enjoying the final few days of freedom before school started up again for the year. Kel would not be joining them just yet. He was on a mission.

It was time to buy some clothes.

Every year, just before the school year started, Kel's mom would sweep into his room and purge his closet. Anything that was too small was gone. Anything that had even the tiniest little hole in it (he got holes in his clothes all the time! It wasn't a big deal) was gone. Anything she called 'too ratty' was gone. About half of his closet would disappear. Then it was time to restock.

Kel would never admit this to anyone, but he kind of enjoyed clothes shopping. At least for the first hour, before his mom got really into it. There was something satisfying about cleaning everything out and starting anew each year. Plus, it was kind of nice to have clothes that fit again. He was still growing abnormally quickly every year. He'd definitely be taller than Hero by the time he…

…if he came back for winter break.

Nope. Not thinking about Hero.

"It's all so expensive," his mother complained as the two of them entered the shop. "This is ridiculous. Do they think I'm made of money?"

"Mom, you say that every time we come here," Kel sighed.

"It's gotten worse," his mother insisted. "Everything downtown is so expensive now. Why can't they be like Othermart? In all the time we've lived here, Othermart has only raised their prices a few times. Although maybe if we lived around here instead of in the suburbs you wouldn't have so many games. You're always on that console."

"That's not true!" Kel cried. "I go outside so much! I'm literally going to go to the park after this."

His mother harrumphed and led him inside. As she started to browse the racks of shirts, squinting thoroughly at each one, Kel surveyed the store. It looked like everyone here was doing the same thing – he saw a lot of bored-looking kids trailing around behind their parents. It reminded him of how despondent Sunny would look when Mari and their mother dragged him out of the house to go shopping. He always hated that. Probably because Mari unashamedly played dress-up with him…

Sunny. Kel's thoughts drifted. Where was he now? In a city somewhere, he knew that, but where? Was he sitting in some apartment on the fiftieth floor of a giant building somewhere? Was he drawing right now? Maybe his mom was taking him out shopping for clothes as well. What would he do if Sunny suddenly walked into this store and came up to him? Kel furrowed his brow. He would… he would…

A familiar voice shouted his name. Kel whipped around to see Kim, ambling up to him with a lollipop in her mouth. It looked like she'd just gotten a haircut; her undercut was very sharply defined. Kel waved at her and smiled. Kim, along with Vance, were the Hooligans he found it easiest to get along with, probably because they were the most normal ones. Kim was actually pretty cool, once you got past her weird short man syndrome.

Could a girl have short man syndrome? Kel filed that thought away for later.

"Sup, nerd?" Kim asked, peering up at him. "Didn't expect to see you here."

Before Kel could answer, his mother noticed Kim's presence. "Oh, hello there! Are you one of Kel's friends?"

"U-uh," Kim stammered, "y-yeah, I guess so?" Kel couldn't help but giggle. Kim shot him a foul look.

"Oh, thank the Lord," his mother replied. "Look, I wouldn't want to impose on you, but I'm having a bit of trouble here. I'm getting older, and I'm not so sure anymore what's fashionable for people your age. I don't want Kel to be going around wearing out-of-date things, you know? He needs to be able to impress people. Lord knows he'd be better off with a nice girl to settle down with…"

"Mom!" Kel complained.

She continued undeterred. "But you look like you know your stuff. What's your name, darling?"

Kel did not like at all the way Kim was smiling. "Oh, I'm Kim. Nice to meet you. And yeah, I'd love to help you pick out clothes for Kel. I'll make him irresistible, trust me."

Oh, no. Oh, no no no no. Kel tried to put a stop to it, but Kim was already whisking his mother off to browse. "Wait by the changing rooms!" his mom called. "Kim and I will bring you some things." Kim looked back over her shoulder at him and grinned devilishly. There was no getting out of this one. Kel trudged over to the changing rooms to await his fate.

It took them a while, but eventually the two of them returned, each carrying a bundle of clothes nearly as tall as they were. "Check out our stuff," Kim said. "You're gonna love this." Kel waited until his mother was looking somewhere else and gave Kim a middle finger, to which she reacted with mock horror.

"This first," his mother instructed him, thrusting some clothes into Kel's hands. "Now go on! Change quickly, too, or we'll be here all day. We have lots of stuff for you to try on."

Kel resigned himself into his fate and ducked into one of the changing rooms. Any hope he had that Kim might have taken mercy on him faded as he changed into the new outfit: a white short-sleeved button-up shirt and black shorts with a belt. When he stepped back outside, Kim had to cover her mouth to try to avoid laughing.

"Are you sure, Kim?" his mother asked hesitantly. "This looks like something my brothers would have worn to church when we were kids."

"I'm totally sure," Kim replied, nodding, still having difficulty maintaining her composure. "Girls these days love guys who always look like they're going to church. It's the, uh… piety. Piety is so in right now."

"Mom, she's messing with you!" Kel hissed through gritted teeth.

But his mother only shook her head. "Kel, you wouldn't know fashionable if it smacked you in the face. You wear those nasty sports jerseys most days! Kim seems like a very trustworthy girl. You should listen to her."

"Da… dang right you should!" Kim said. "Now try this one out."

Once again Kel retreated into the changing room. This one might have even been worse: blue skinny jeans and another white dress shirt, this time with a black vest over it. It looked like he was trying to impersonate both Sunny and Mikhael at the same time. The jeans felt terrible against his bare legs. He never wore skinny stuff!

"Oh, Aubrey will love this," Kim proclaimed as Kel stepped out of the changing room again. Kel sputtered and tried desperately to motion to Kim to shut up, but it was too late. His mother had already noticed.

"Aubrey? I haven't seen her in so long! People at church kept saying she went off the rails a bit after her father left. I only met her parents a few times when Kel was younger, before everything happened with Mari. They didn't seem very happy even then. I don't think… wait, Kel, are you seeing her?"

"NO!" Kel shouted, as Kim broke out into a fit of giggles. "We're just friends, I swear! And she absolutely would not like any of this stuff!"

Kim shook her head and turned to Kel's mother. "I've been friends with her for years, Maria. Trust me, I've picked all this stuff out so Kel will look better for her. Gotta help a friend out sometimes, you know? Kel's a bit hopeless on his own."

His mother sighed. "I always thought those two would end up together. They bickered so much, but you could always tell they cared so much about each other! I'll have to tell you some stories while we're waiting, Kim."

Kel had never been very good at giving death glares – that was more Sunny's thing back in the day – but he tried his best at Kim as his mother handed him a new outfit. Kim only responded with the most aggravating smile Kel had ever seen.

Returning to the changing room, Kel was suspicious to see how normal this one looked. The shirt was actually a normal T-shirt that Kel might actually wear. He unfolded the shirt to check it out, and saw text on the front.

'EAT. SLEEP. GAME. REPEAT.'

Yeah, he should have guessed.

The torture continued for a while longer. Kel was almost impressed by all the different ways Kim had thought up to embarrass him. But eventually the pile of clothes dwindled, and a few outfits were selected to make the final cut. Kel grimaced as they were laid out in all their glory before him. This was what he'd be spending the next year wearing. Bleugh. He'd have to get a part-time job or something so he could afford to buy clothes he actually wanted to wear. Maybe that was Kim's evil plan all along: forcing him to get a job. Kel liked playing basketball and chilling!

As his mom went to the checkout to pay for all the clothes, Kim sidled up to him. "Thank me later, nerd. You're gonna have a good time this year, I can sense it."

"You jerk!" Kel hissed, quiet enough for his mother not to overhear. "You know what? I'm gonna tell your mom that you keep stealing all that stuff from Miss Candice's shop. You'll never get to see me in any of these dumb clothes cause you'll be grounded forever! "

Kim stuck her tongue out at him. "You wouldn't do that, loser. Aubrey would get pissed at you if you did. And we all know how much you want to stay on her good side, don't we?"

Oh man, this was killing him. Kim was lucky that Kel was a man of peace. "You better not be talking about me with Aubrey."

"I don't have much of a choice," Kim replied with a shrug. "She talks about you all the time. Sometimes she even says nice things. It's pretty weird." Kel blushed, only to turn away in a huff as Kim laughed at him.

"You know," she said, her voice lilting, "I'm pretty sure Aubrey's at the park right now. By herself. You should probably head over there quickly before one of us finds her. You wouldn't want to share her with Mikhael for the day, would you…?"

Kel stomped his foot and hurried out of the shop, shouting a quick "Going to the park!" at his mom as he left. No matter how much Kim irritated him, he had to admit she was right. He did really want to hang out with Aubrey today. And he really did not want to hang out with ''''The Maverick''''. He couldn't tell whether the rest of the Hooligans encouraged his little shtick just to mess with him or not. Either way, it ground his gears.

Downtown Faraway was a pretty good distance from the park, so he decided to jog it. The beating rhythm of running usually calmed him down a bit and gave him something else to focus on. Not that he was running from anything in particular right now – yeah, the clothes kinda sucked, but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't too bad. He and his mom hadn't been weirdly awkward with each other like they had been so often in the weeks after Hero left. And he'd learned that Aubrey was saying nice things about him to her friends. What was there not to be happy about? The darker thoughts were sitting and gathering dust at the back of his mind. It was a new day, and Kel intended to live it.

He had broken a good sweat by the time he got to the park, so he stopped off at the vending machines for a delicious, refreshing Orange Joe. This one was only a year out of date! He guzzled the whole can in one go and felt much better for it. All the haters could eat their words. Orange Joe was and would always be supreme.

He took a quick peek around the park, looking for the telltale pink hair. The place was totally packed, just like everywhere else was right now – with only a few days left before school, everyone was making the most of the nice weather. It wasn't just the kids, though. He spied Mincy, squinting thoughtfully at the old yellow cat thing in the playground as she sketched away. A cluster of families had set up grills around the place, including Sean and Karen, who were engaging in some shameless PDA as usual. Kel thought about telling them their sausages were burning, but decided against it. There were some Recycultists standing around being a bit weird, but otherwise everything was normal. So where was…

…there! Kel found himself grinning as he spotted her, sitting down in the shade of a tree beside the basketball court. It looked like she was reading a book. Kel jogged over to her, but slowed his pace as he got closer, trying to sneak up on her. Unfortunately it didn't work. Aubrey turned her head and caught him immediately.

"Kel, what are you doing?" she asked without malice, treating him to a slight smile.

Kel got up from his half-crouched position and scratched the back of his neck. "Heh. Uh, don't mind me. Just walking around, you know how it is. What'cha reading?"

"Polly recommended it to me," Aubrey answered. "We don't have a lot of books in my mom's house. And by not a lot I mean none. We haven't had the money for stuff like that since Dad left. But I used to like reading a lot when I was younger, and I told Polly I wanted to get back into it. She suggested this."

"Man, I can't even imagine," Kel said. "Hero used to always be on my butt about reading stuff. He gave me books to read constantly . He said it'd help with getting my grades up. Joke's on him. My grades are terrible!"

Aubrey frowned at him. "Didn't you get a B in History last year?"

"Well, yeah, but I got Cs in everything else, and that… wait, how did you know that?"

Aubrey's eyes widened slightly. "Uh… I didn't. Moving on. Your grades are fine, Kel. Stop comparing yourself to Hero. If you think straight Cs are terrible, then I don't even know what my grades count as. I barely passed most of my classes last year. Didn't help that I skipped so often."

"But that's gonna be different this year, right?" Kel asked. "Hey, maybe we can help each other out. I hate sitting alone and studying for ages. It'd be nice to have someone to talk to."

"Maybe," said Aubrey, closing the book and putting it in her bag. "That kinda depends on my mom a bit. If she gets bad, I tend to get bad as well."

Kel was trying to figure out a response to that when he realized someone was calling his name. He looked over in the direction of the basketball court to see Jay jogging towards him and waving. It looked like he'd been exercising for a while: his normally styled blond hair was sticking up in weird places like Hero's did.

"Hey, Kel!" he said, running up to them and catching his breath. "Good to see you. I've been trying to teach PB to play basketball, and I don't think I'm a very good teacher. We're both getting a little frustrated. It's not good for our relationship. Maybe you could help out, being the beacon of light you are. You and… wait, you're Aubrey, right?"

The way Aubrey clammed up reminded Kel painfully of Sunny. "Yeah. That's me."

"Cool," said Jay. "Hey, maybe we could go two against two? Me and PB against you guys? How's that sound?"

"Heck yeah!" Kel shouted, hopping in place. "Aw, man, this'll be fun. Come on, Aubrey, let's go!"

Aubrey just stared at him, the same impassive expression on her face, but her tight jaw and clenched fists betrayed her feelings. Kel's heart sank a little.

"Please?" he tried. "It's just a bit of fun. I know you don't really play basketball, but neither does PB. It'll just be a friendly thing, you know. No pressure."

"Of course," Jay chimed in. "We're just here to have fun."

Seeing that Aubrey still wasn't convinced, Kel tried again. "For me? Please? I'd love to play with you… uh, I mean… wait, no, I didn't mean it in that way, I meant, like, I'd love to play on your team…"

"Oh my god, please stop talking," Aubrey sighed, getting up from her seated position. "Fine, I'll play. Just let me put up my hair first."

Kel whooped and cheered. Aubrey rolled her eyes as she shrugged out of her jacket and put her hair up in a ponytail. She was wearing a black half tank underneath which held Kel's attention more than he liked to admit. He held his gaze for a moment too long – enough for Aubrey to notice and raise an eyebrow at him. He blushed and looked away.

The three of them walked onto the court to greet Pretty Boy (did he have a real name? Kel had no idea), who waved shyly at them as they approached. "Hey, Kel," he said softly. "It's nice to see you again."

"Good to see you too, PB," Kel replied, blushing a little despite himself. PB really could be quite charming. Just ask Jay – he was staring at PB with stars in his eyes.

"So… we were thinking about a two on two game," Jay said to PB, putting a slightly-more-than-friendly hand on his shoulder. "What do you say? I'll go with you, and we'll face Kel and Aubrey."

"Sure," PB replied. There was silence for a moment as Jay and PB held each others' gazes. Kel snuck a glance at Aubrey to see she was trying her best not to laugh. He cleared his throat, startling both Jay and PB.

"Oops… sorry," Jay muttered, sneaking quick glances at PB. "Let's begin!"

The game actually started off more intense than Kel had expected. PB was deceptively agile, and managed to sneak past Kel more than once. Jay, on the other hand, had great technique and was fast, but nowhere near as dextrous. Kel could steal from him easily.

"Typical football player," Kel teased as he swiped another ball straight out of Jay's hands. "Slow and turns like a tractor."

Jay laughed. "Just wait until I tackle you. Then it'll feel like a tractor."

Aubrey started off a bit hesitant, but Kel could tell she was getting more and more into it. She wasn't half bad at shooting either. The way she pursed her lips and scrunched up her eyes in anticipation of every shot made Kel feel… like he should probably be focusing more on the game. But she looked very good. The ponytail wasn't her usual look, and Kel found himself looking her over more than once. He could have sworn he felt Aubrey's eyes lingering on him as well, but whenever he turned his head she would whip hers away.

The focus was a bit lacking on both sides after a while. Jay and PB were pretty brazen about it. Whenever Jay lined up for a shot, PB would stop dead wherever he was and observe. Whenever PB managed to land a shot himself (more often than Kel should probably have allowed him to, all things considered), Jay would run over to him and give him a hug that always managed to involve them jamming their faces into the crooks of each others' necks. It was kind of cute, but a bit distracting.

Eventually they called it quits after PB ran out of steam. While Jay and PB shared a bottle of Gatorade, Kel walked over to Aubrey. She was standing in a wide stance, hands on hips, breathing heavily. Her face was red and sweaty, and her hair was starting to slip out of the ponytail. Looking at her, the only thought running through Kel's head was 'wow'.

Aubrey caught his gaze and returned it for a moment, before sliding her eyes up and down his body. He tossed her a bottle of water, which she caught deftly and took deep swigs from. Some of the water ran out of her mouth and down her front. Kel had to fight to keep his composure.

"We're gonna head off now," Jay announced, drawing Kel's attention. He was now holding PB's hand. "Thanks for playing with us! It was loads of fun. We should do it again sometime."

"Totally! See you later!" Kel called back, waving as they left. He turned back to Aubrey, who had finished drinking and was now back to staring at him.

"Hey there," Aubrey said, her lips quirking upwards.

"Hey," Kel replied, blood immediately rushing back to his face.

"That was actually pretty fun," she continued. "Thanks for convincing me to play. Sorry for being a bit of a downer at first. I guess you were kinda right, huh? Jay seems like a pretty nice guy."

"Yeah, he is," Kel replied. "And yeah, that was fun. We were a good team."

Aubrey smirked. "That's just because you were only looking at me half as much as Jay was looking at PB."

Kel blanched and tried to respond, but all that came out of his mouth were random noises. Aubrey giggled and pushed him lightly in the chest. It felt like she left a burning handprint there.

"Let's head back to Basil's house," she decided. "I promised Polly I'd help her plant some of Basil's usual fall flowers today. You can help out too."

"S-sounds like a plan."

The walk back to Basil's house was comfortably quiet. It really was a beautiful day. The sun and the laughter still audible from back at the park made it hard to believe things had felt so bad only a few months previously. Was this what moving on felt like? Kel didn't know. The process of dealing with loss wasn't really one he had ever contemplated before he had learned the truth about Mari. Kel had been twelve when she'd died – old enough to understand what it meant, but young enough to keep living with gusto anyway. Every day he'd woken up feeling a little better than the last. He'd never forgotten her, and never would. But his journey had been easier than Hero's. He could admit that. He only wished people would stop assuming that, just because he'd had it easier than Hero, that meant he'd had it easy.

They passed the little pink pinwheel, still whirling merrily in place so many years later. Aubrey smiled sadly as they passed it, but offered no comment.

As the two of them turned onto Basil's street, a big white hospital van was pulling away from the curb in front of Basil's house. Kel thought nothing of it until Aubrey stopped walking and stared at him.

"Was that…?" she began, but was interrupted by Polly walking out onto the porch, grinning from ear to ear despite the fact she hadn't even spotted the two of them yet. All of a sudden, Kel understood, and his stomach dropped. Those dark and angry thoughts that had been dormant stirred again.

Polly turned and spotted them. "Aubrey! Kel! Oh, it's fantastic that you're here. Come in! Basil is back!" With that, she turned and dashed back inside.

Kel swallowed. His hand reached out and found Aubrey's. Under normal circumstances, Aubrey might have slapped his hand away or elbowed him, but this time she gave his hand a supportive squeeze.

Three words. So simple, and yet so, so complicated.

Basil is back.

Notes:

Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil! Basil!

Tune in next week for Basil!

Chapter 8: Resolve

Summary:

Basil returns. Henry and Jamie go out.

"Are you ready?" Aubrey asked quietly as the two stood just outside Basil's front door. Their hands were interlocked, but Kel's mind was too preoccupied to comprehend that. He was sailing a very small boat in a wild ocean storm, tossed around by currents he could neither see nor understand. He couldn't even look Aubrey in the eyes.

"No," he replied, but stepped inside anyway. Aubrey's hand left his as she followed. It felt awfully cold without her.

The normal floral scent of the room was much stronger than usual, as if someone had gone around and sprayed perfume everywhere. On the countertop, the kettle was steaming. Kel had gotten to drink a lot of tea over the last couple of months, courtesy of Polly, so he wasn't at all surprised to see two cups of tea sitting on the dining table. The flowers by the door were immaculate, thanks to the work of Polly and Aubrey. Polly herself was sitting at the table with her back to them, but she swivelled around as she heard them enter and grinned. Kel managed a half-hearted smile in return.

And right there in front of him, sitting across from Polly, was Basil.

The last time Kel had seen Basil, he had been lying in a hospital bed, half-dead from the grievous wounds he'd inflicted on himself with his garden shears. He had been a broken shell of the boy he'd once known, barely moving, always crying. After Sunny had made his confession, Kel hadn't been able to muster up the courage to come back. Basil had stayed much the same in Kel's mind as he had been for the previous four years – a ghost of the past, a fleeting shadow at the corner of his mind's eye. Every time he thought of Basil, his heart ached a bit, but the knowledge of what Basil had done felt poisonous. That Basil had started feeling like more of a thing to Kel rather than a person: a collection of bad memories and horrible emotions, distinct from the bright, curious boy he had been friends with years ago.

Even from just looking at him sitting down, Kel could tell the difference between this Basil and the one he had seen barely clinging to life in a hospital bed. Though he was still very thin, Basil seemed present in a way he hadn't been when Kel had been running around with Sunny. His pale blue eyes, though wide and carrying a hint of trepidation, were unclouded. His posture was a bit hunched, but he didn't look like he was trying to fold up into himself and disappear.

"H-hi, guys," Basil said, his voice a little scratchy. "I… I saw you've been taking care of all my flowers. Thank you."

For a dreadful moment, nobody said anything. Basil's eyes flitted from Kel to Aubrey and back again. Kel tried to think of something to say, but the words wouldn't come. Eventually, though, Aubrey saved him. "Don't mention it. It's just good to have you back again."

"Oh, I'll get you two some tea as well," Polly decided, seemingly oblivious to the tension around her. "Just give me a moment!" She hopped up and strolled over to the kitchen, leaving the three of them to stare at each other awkwardly. It was only once Polly was out of the way that Kel noticed Basil wasn't actually sitting in one of the dining chairs – he was in a wheelchair.

"How long are you gonna have that for?" Aubrey asked, gesturing towards the wheelchair.

"Oh! A-ah, hopefully not too long. I've been given some exercises to help the muscles in my stomach heal. I can actually walk, kind of. O-only short distances, though. And it hurts. But hopefully I'll be able to move around normally within the next couple of months."

"Don't let him get out of the chair!" Polly called from the kitchen. "He keeps trying to get up and walk around, and it's no good. He might tear his abdominal wall open again."

Basil gave them a guilty smile. "I… I just like to be able to move around by myself. I think I've spent too long being a burden on everyone."

Kel averted his gaze. A different version of himself would have leapt to compliment Basil and told him to believe in himself more. But right now he could not have uttered a word if his life depended on it. His eyes kept flickering to Basil's hands, wrapped tightly around his teacup. The same hands that had tied that noose and hoisted Mari up onto that tree. The same hands that had plunged garden shears through Sunny's eye. The younger Kel wouldn't have believed Basil capable of hurting a fly. Even now, sitting here, Basil looked like the image of pacifism. But those hands could hurt, couldn't they?

Did he still consider Basil a friend? One part of his brain said yes without hesitation. The other parts were throwing up error messages.

Aubrey moved, startling both Kel and Basil. She went to sit down next to Basil and gave him a light punch on the upper arm. That probably wasn't the best choice to calm Basil down, given their history, and Aubrey seemed to realize that immediately as Basil flinched away. Instead she leaned in close to him, squinting at his head.

"Did you change the flower in your hair?" she asked.

"Yes, I did!" Basil replied, a wobbly smile on his face. "You noticed. It's… uh, it's a lotus. I would grow some real ones, but they're a bit difficult here. They… they need to be in pretty deep water, basically. I was thinking about putting some in the shallower parts of the lake, but… oh, I'm rambling, sorry."

Aubrey was smiling now. Kel envied her. "Nah, don't apologize. I missed this. Why a lotus?

Of all the reactions Kel might have expected to that question, a blush wasn't one of them. "Ah… it's complicated. It's sort of like a reminder, promise and goal rolled into one."

Aubrey grinned. "Alright, then. Keep your secrets."

The kettle started whistling. "Tea coming up!" Polly proclaimed. Basil glanced over at the kitchen and tried to hoist himself up and out of his chair, but the noise alerted Polly immediately. She turned around and glared at him until he gave up the effort.

"I-it's polite to hand refreshments to guests personally," Basil tried.

"Don't try to weasel your way out of this, young man," Polly replied, arms folded. "It won't be too long. You'll be up and about in no time as long as you have a bit of patience. And there's no need to rush things. This house doesn't have stairs, after all!"

That one went down like a lead balloon. Kel winced, Aubrey turned away, and Basil went a bit green. Luckily, Polly turned back to the counter to pour out the boiling water before she noticed the reaction.

"P-polly doesn't know," Basil whispered. "About…" He trailed off, a peculiar expression on his face, before starting again. "About what Sunny and I did to Mari."

Neither Kel nor Aubrey offered any response to that. The three of them sat there quietly as they waited for Polly to bring the tea over. Even Kel, who usually started fidgeting if he had to sit still for more than thirty seconds, was silent. Aubrey looked at Kel for a moment with an expression he couldn't decipher, before turning her attention back to Basil. She lay a hand on Basil's arm and squeezed gently. Basil flinched a bit at the contact again, but offered her an awkward smile.

Polly came back over and set cups of tea in front of Aubrey and Kel. "Did you know I actually use some of Basil's flowers to flavor the tea? It always tastes better fresh, I think. Especially when they're as well cared for as these are. You're a lucky man, Basil! I couldn't have kept your garden in such great condition without these two."

"It does look really good," Basil agreed, smiling more genuinely now. "Thank you, really. I… I know it must have been hard for you to be here after everything that's happened. I didn't really expect you to stick around, hehe. But thank you for everything."

"We're your friends," Aubrey said, squeezing his arm again. "Despite everything. Don't forget it, flower boy." Basil blushed slightly and looked over to Kel, who was at least able to give him a nod and a stiff smile. It was the happiest Kel had seen him in years. Kel tried his best to mirror the positive energy, but his roiling mind wouldn't do what he told it to. He fought back the urge to slap himself. What was he doing? Basil was back, clearly trying to do better, and Kel's brain wanted him to… set everything back to square one by interrogating him about everything that had happened? This was not the time to be selfish. Why couldn't he just feel happy for his friend?

His friend?

Suddenly, the cup in front of him was empty. Kel barely remembered drinking it. Polly stood up and clapped her hands together. "Now, Basil, go and show Aubrey and Kel your new room! I'm sure they'll want to see everything that's changed. But do not get out of your chair. I can push you there if you want–"

Basil sighed and wheeled himself away from the table before Polly could finish. As Aubrey and Kel stood up to follow him, Polly huffed slightly and crossed her arms. "I was just offering, Basil!" Basil muttered something inaudible and rolled himself over to the door to the back half of the house. Aubrey chuckled and followed him, Kel trailing behind and trying not to let his feelings appear on his face.

"I decided to switch rooms," Basil explained as they turned left instead of right, heading towards his grandmother's old room. "Y-you can probably understand why. Also because we already had to get the door to Grandma's room widened when she was in her wheelchair. She, ah…"

Aubrey laid a hand on Basil's shoulder, and this time his reaction was almost imperceptible. "I'm sorry, Basil. I remember your grandma from when we were younger. She was really cool. I hope it was peaceful, at least."

"I-it was. She… she died smiling. The nurses told me she'd been asking where I was the whole time since she got there. It was like she was… waiting for me before she went." He sniffled a bit. "They didn't let me go to her funeral. But Polly planted some flowers on her grave for me. I… I'd like to go there and do it myself, once I'm able to." He paused for a moment, taking a couple of deep breaths, before opening the door to his new room and entering. Kel and Aubrey followed, while Polly waited outside.

Shockingly, the room was full of plants. The planters from Basil's old room had been moved over to join the ones already here. It smelled strongly of wet dirt and fertilizer. The photos hung on the walls of his old room had also been moved here. Kel walked over to have a look at them – more plants, mostly, with a few sunsets sprinkled here and there. Basil's Polaroid camera sat on one of the lower shelves of his bookshelf. Someone had given it a wash and polish since the last time Kel had seen it. The bedside table had four small plants on it that Kel couldn't recognize.

Basil wheeled himself over to his bed and immediately shifted himself out of the chair to sit on the edge of the bed, taking advantage of Polly no longer being able to see him. Meanwhile, Aubrey was bending over the bedside table, examining the plants. "Hey, isn't this one a… gladiolus? The one you used to say reminded you of me?"

"Yep!" Basil replied, scooting nearer to the table. "All of these remind me of one of you. The gladiolus for you, because of your strength and loyalty. Kel, this cactus reminds me of you, because you're resilient and can thrive even in adversity. This rose reminds me of Hero, because he can do so many different things, and he's loved by so many people! And the white tulip is Sunny, for his simplicity and his modesty." He looked like he wanted to add something else to the end of that, but closed his mouth instead. Kel stared at the cactus. He wasn't feeling very resilient.

"So where are you, then?" Aubrey asked.

Basil gave her a queasy smile. "I… well, when I was younger I used to like to think of myself as a sunflower. Always looking on the bright side. I don't know if I can really pretend that's true anymore, hehe. Anyway, I don't really want to put myself here right now. I don't… I don't feel like I really deserve it yet."

Aubrey scoffed. "It's not about deserving. You're our friend."

Basil shook his head. "I hurt people, Aubrey. I hurt you. The thing that kept me going through everything when I was in the ward was wanting to become better. I was a bad friend. To… to Mari and Sunny most of all, but to all of you as well. I want to be better now."

"Did you change this as well?" Kel asked, pointing to the flowerpot sitting below the windowsill. When Basil's grandmother had occupied this room in her final days, there had been a white egret orchid sitting in the pot. Now that was gone, and in its place sat a single white flower, round and fluffy-looking.

"It's a white chrysanthemum. Most often, chrysanthemums are yellow. The yellow chrysanthemum is actually associated with the Japanese imperial family! White chrysanthemums represent death in a lot of cultures, and in that way it's… kind of a reminder. But that's not really the main meaning for me."

"So what else does it mean?" Aubrey asked, walking over next to Kel to check the flower out herself. Kel found himself leaning into the contact.

Basil gazed at the flower in contemplation. "Truth," he said simply. "It's a promise I made to myself when I… decided that I wanted to live again. The lie I told hurt so many people. Even Sunny, and the whole point was for it to help him. I don't want to hurt anyone ever again. I don't want to lie to anyone ever again. I want to be better. I… whenever I was in the hospital and things started to feel too hard, I would imagine myself going to Sunny's new place. In my imagination I was older, but I never really decided how much older. Anyway, I would go there and talk to him and tell him how far I've come since we last saw each other. I would show him how much better I've become. And… and he would be different too. Older. He would have changed as well. And he'd tell me about everything he'd gotten up to while I was away, all the new friends he'd made and things he'd done."

He paused, sniffling a bit, before continuing. "A-and then we'd hug, and… and it would just be the most beautiful thing. That dream kept me going through everything, even when it was really bad and the doctors were telling Polly I might be in there for a year or even longer. I want to be better. Not just for Sunny, but for you guys as well. I've… I've done so much wrong. But I hope that one day I might have your forgiveness, not just because I'm your friend, but because I've earned it."

A stunned silence filled the room as Basil finished speaking. In less than two minutes, Basil had said more words than Kel had heard him say in the previous four years. The very un-Basil-like resolution in his voice and the strength of his conviction shocked Kel a bit. Polly had said that something about what happened had put a bit of life back into Basil. Apparently it was more than a bit.

Basil's eyes flicked nervously between the two of them as the silence stretched on. He started to pick at his nails. That, Kel realized, was the Basil he knew, nervous and needing approval – approval that, for some reason unknown even to himself, Kel was finding it hard to give.

Once again, it was Aubrey who came to the rescue. "You've grown up, huh, you little doofus? It's cool that you want to make yourself a better person. But just remember that you don't need to prove yourself to us. We're your friends, and we have your back, no matter what happens."

"T-thank you," Basil murmured, offering her a shy smile.

Another moment of silence passed. Basil perked up suddenly. "Oh! I almost forgot. Um… Aubrey. Polly told me about all the stuff happening with your mom and how you were staying over here sometimes. I-I just wanted to tell you that you can stay here whenever you want. I don't mind. Well, I mean, you'll probably have to sleep on the couch, unless you want to be in my old room with Polly, but… you know… if you want…"

Aubrey said nothing, but walked over to stand in front of Basil. His eyes widened as if he'd done something wrong, and he shrank away a bit. Kel frowned – what was she doing? She answered that question by suddenly leaning down and wrapping Basil in a tight hug. Basil yelped as he was dragged in, and seemed frozen for a moment, but eventually returned the hug, looping his arms around Aubrey's waist.

"Thank you," Aubrey said quietly, pressing her forehead into the top of Basil's head, before releasing him. Basil's hands wrapped around his stomach as if he was hurt, but he was beaming with joy in a way that sent Kel back to memories of making flower crowns in grassy fields.

As he watched Basil practically radiate with happiness, Kel came to a decision. Whatever stupid hangups his brain was having, he would simply ignore them. Basil was back, and they needed to help him recover and become the version of himself he wanted to be. Indulging whatever Kel was feeling would only lead to problems. He needed to be there for Basil.

So he would be, without question.

***

"I guess it makes sense that I was really drunk the first time I got into this thing," Henry joked. "I would never have done that if I was fully lucid."

Jamie made a rude noise. "Well, fuck you too, then. This 'thing' has been my trustworthy companion since I was sixteen. When you threw up all over it, it accepted that with grace and dignity. And I have gotten into an acceptably low number of incidents with it. The least you can do in return is be a little nice."

Henry laughed and surveyed the car. Jokes aside, it was not the proudest-looking car he'd ever seen. It was theoretically white, though the paint had deteriorated enough that it was more yellowish. There were too many scratches to count. Most ominously, though, there was a large dent running along the entire length of one side of the car. "Did your acceptable incidents happen with an eighteen-wheeler, by any chance?"

"Nope. It had that dent when I bought it. It also had… uh, some of the scratches. It may not surprise you to learn that it was very cheap. But it has served me well, and only starts smoking on rare occasions. It hasn't actually caught fire, though. Yet."

"What actually is it?"

"It's a 1985 Pontiac Fiero. This thing is almost as old as we are. Now, are you done freaking out? We gotta get going."

"Alright, alright," Henry said, getting into the passenger seat. "Let's go eat some fast food, I guess."

Jamie slipped into the driver's seat and attempted to start the engine. It took a couple of tries, during which Henry started to wonder whether they were both about to die in an explosion, but eventually it got there. Despite how the car looked, Jamie seemed to be a pretty good driver – or at least his driving didn't make Henry physically sweat like his mother's sometimes did.

As Jamie took them out of the slow crawl of the city streets and onto the highway, Henry watched the tall buildings and forests of billboards (seriously, did people need lawyers that badly?) blur past. It made him realize he hadn't really seen much of Nearby City since he got here. Even in first year, when he'd been a bit more adventurous, his activities had been restricted to things within walking distance or a short bus trip. This was a big city, and there were so many places he hadn't been.

"Over that way is my old high school," Jamie said, gesturing vaguely off to their right as they cruised along an overpass. "I boarded there during the week and only went home for weekends. Ah, I miss those days sometimes. I've gotten more boring since then, I think." Henry took a look and was surprised to see how leafy the neighborhood was. And there were some pretty big looking houses. He tried carefully to frame his next question so that it wasn't weird.

"Do your parents have good jobs?"

Jamie laughed. "They have a house in the country and they sent me to boarding school in a suburb with more mansions than apartments. What do you think? Dad's a bigshot investment banker, always travelling. Mom… well, these days her main work is overseeing the family assets and the house, but back when she used to work full time she was a pretty highly-regarded trader. As you might expect, I spent a lot of time with nannies and such when I was a kid."

"Wow. Your parents sound pretty impressive. I guess it's good to have one parent around more now, huh?"

For a fleeting moment, something changed in Jamie's expression, so quickly Henry thought he might have imagined it. "It wasn't really her choice. Things just ended up that way. And I actually hear more from Dad these days than her, ironically. When I was younger, he made a habit of calling every day he was away so that we wouldn't end up having one of those father-son relationships. He finds it a bit difficult to break the habit now even though he doesn't actually need to call that often anymore. Still, it's nice to hear from him."

Though he didn't say anything, Henry sympathized. His parents had stopped calling daily since the academic year had started, but calling every second or third day wasn't much better. He always felt a bit of tension whenever he heard his phone ringing, knowing that he'd have to work to keep his parents convinced that he was doing alright. Some days the fear in their voices was barely disguised, and they pressed him hard for information about what he was doing. On the one hand, it felt good to be cared about. But on the other hand…

And, of course, Kel still hadn't talked to him once. His parents at least made occasional excuses for him, but Henry knew the truth as well as they did.

For a brief moment, the urban sprawl gave way to the countryside. There was no actual untouched nature around here, but the rows of tall pines lining the road made Henry think of the true forests of Faraway. It only lasted a few minutes, though, before the concrete returned as they entered the small town that contained this apparent hidden gem of American civilization.

"We have arrived," Jamie proclaimed, pointing up the road. Ahead was a large building in garish colors, with the logos of the three fast food companies plastered proudly across the front. Behind it was, of course, a gargantuan parking lot. Shockingly, despite the size of the town, most of the spots were full, and the foot traffic around the building itself was seething.

"This place really is popular," Henry commented as they pulled into the lot.

"It has its own kind of beauty, I think," Jamie replied, peering around to look for a parking spot. "Ah, there's one. Right near the entrance, too. This shithead in his Audi thinks he's gonna grab that spot, but he doesn't know what's coming." The car lurched forward and swerved as Jamie stole the spot ahead of the guy coming from the other direction. Henry yelped and banged his knee on the dashboard, while the defeated driver honked angrily as he passed behind them.

"It's a cruel world," Jamie sighed as he got out of the car. Henry took a moment to catch his breath before getting out as well.

"That was dangerous," he scolded Jamie as they walked together towards the store.

"I live dangerously," Jamie replied with a devilish grin.

Henry's first thought on entering the building was how lucky he was that his brother didn't know about this place. Everything was Kel bait, from the pictures of greasy food hung up everywhere to the random arcade machines scattered around the place. He could easily picture a younger Kel thinking this was the best place on Earth. The current Kel… well, he hurt more to think about, but he'd probably still really enjoy this place as well. Maybe someday, if things got better – whatever 'better' meant – Henry would take him here.

Jamie led him over to one of the few empty tables in the building. "Here's how this is gonna go. You have to get one thing from each of the three stores. It can be anything reasonably sized. Pizza-burrito-donut was the usual combo my high school friends and I had when we came here, but there are acceptable variations. Pizza-nachos-donut was pretty common. One of my friends always used to go with pasta-nachos-donut, which is psychotic, so don't do that. You go first and I'll save the table until you get back."

"One from each counter?" Henry said, aghast. "There's no way I'll be able to eat that much. Also, it would feel bad."

"That's why you're going first. You get more time to eat. Maybe you'll watch me demolish my meal and feel shame that will spur you into eating more. Who knows? Now go and feast."

Henry sighed and walked over to the Divin' Donuts, which looked like the least busy of the three counters. He hesitated and turned back to look at Jamie sitting at the table, who winked at him. Henry hurriedly turned away again, a bit dismayed by how easily Jamie got him to blush. The way even the most effortless gestures on Jamie's part could fluster him reminded him way too much of Mari.

Fifteen minutes later, he was back at the table with his haul – a simple glazed donut, a mini cheese pizza, and a beef taco. Even looking at it made him feel a bit woozy. These were not foods that were meant to go together. Nothing about this place was natural.

Jamie clicked his tongue. "Man, you're so vanilla. Watch this, pretty boy. Be back soon!" He dashed off to get his own meal, leaving Henry to start on his own. The taco grabbed his attention. He'd never had 'Mexican' fast food before – with his mother being as good a cook as she was, there was never any need to. The fact that the only fast food places in Faraway were Gino's and a couple of burger places downtown probably didn't help. 

He took a curious bite out of the taco. Bland and uninspiring. What was with the cheese? Cheese wasn't meant to taste like that.

He had just about managed to force his way through the taco by the time Jamie returned, laden down with what looked like about twice as much food as Henry had gotten. The donut was piled high with whipped cream and sprinkles, and he had gotten an entire burrito. At least the pizza was still mini-sized.

"Experience my power," Jamie declared, unwrapping his burrito. "Man, I haven't had a breakfast burrito in ages."

Henry choked. "Sorry… a breakfast burrito?"

"Yup! It's got scrambled eggs, cheese, sausages, potatoes and avocado salsa. I could inhale one of these in two minutes at my peak. It's been a while since I've done this challenge, though, so I'm not expecting a miraculous performance."

Something inside Henry broke. "...scrambled eggs? I… I'm… and they call that a burrito? "

Jamie grinned. "Something the matter, Henry? Are you feeling like your culture is being appropriated? Just remember: it may say it's Mexican, and look vaguely Mexican on the surface, but it's not. This is pure American cuisine." With that, he chomped into the burrito. Henry shivered in disgust as bits of egg fell out the front.

"You need to have a proper burrito sometime," Henry decided. "My mom makes real ones with beef birria. I promise you, they're way better than whatever that is."

"Oh, I'd love to have some of your mom's cooking," Jamie replied, smiling at him. Henry's cheeks warmed again, so he busied himself with contemplating his still-untouched pizza.

"How is your family doing?" Jamie asked between bites of his burrito. "We've talked about mine, but you, Henry, are still a mystery to me. Where do you come from? What is your story?"

Henry chuckled, though he didn't dare to make eye contact with Jamie while he spoke. "Uh, my parents are doing pretty good. I think. I've got a younger brother, K-Kelsey. Everyone calls him Kel, though. Uh, he's sixteen. And recently we got a younger sister, Sally. She's a bit over a year old now. Cute as a button. My parents are totally obsessed with her."

He'd hoped his stumble when he mentioned Kel had gone unnoticed, but one look up at Jamie told him that it absolutely had not. Jamie got this very sharp look in his eyes whenever Henry slipped up and mentioned something he shouldn't have: one that made it obvious he was filing the information away for later.

"You on good terms with Kel?" Or just preparing to mount a full frontal attack. Henry grimaced a bit and looked away again before speaking.

"Things have been a little rough recently. But it's nothing we can't get through. Kel and I have been good friends since Kel got old enough to understand what friends were. Everyone has arguments."

It didn't sound convincing even to himself. As he turned back to meet Jamie's eyes, he saw that the other man was again studying him with that impenetrable look. The effect was only slightly ruined by the egg bits on his face. Desperately trying to steer the conversation into less vulnerable waters, Henry tried a question of his own.

"You said your parents are both big business types, right? What did they think of your choice of degree?"

Jamie's lips twitched upwards. "Smooth, Henry. Well, obviously my parents would have preferred I followed their path. My mom signed me up to a bunch of coding camps and whatnot. Medicine was a strong contender as well, actually. We could have been doctor bros. But nah, they couldn't really complain. Chemistry is a good enough field that they couldn't take issue with money or whatever. It wasn't like I was running off to become an actor or something. How about you? Any dreams you cast aside in your quest to never sleep again?"

Dreams. Henry knew he'd looked forward to the future at some point in his life. He just found it hard to remember what that felt like. "I used to cook a lot when I was younger. M– uh, people used to say I should go to culinary school. But I did well in school, and my mom wanted me to do medicine, so I'm here."

Jamie smiled again, though it was a more wry one than usual. "That's a ringing endorsement. Well, you could always start over. Move to a new city. Dye your hair blonde. Kill some people."

"Where did that come from?" Henry asked, chuckling. "How do you even think of this stuff?" Jamie just gave him a conspiratorial look and kept eating his burrito, offering no reply.

Henry stayed quiet, taking a moment to imagine an alternate timeline. Culinary school. Would he have enjoyed it more? Was he really not enjoying pre-med as much as he was implying? They were hard questions to answer.

"If you were in my place, would you have gone to culinary school instead?"

That one got Jamie to put down his half-eaten burrito and clasp his hands in thought. His eyes narrowed as he stared off into the distance. Though he might have just been looking at the Divin' Donuts counter. Maybe he wanted another donut.

In the meantime, Henry tried to answer the question himself. If he could go back in time and choose again, would he take the cooking route? Cooking had become a bit of a poisoned chalice for him after Mari died. He did enjoy it still, but did he enjoy it enough to make a career out of it? On the other side, did he enjoy medicine enough to make a career out of it? He couldn't really answer that, since he was still in the pre-med phase. But could he imagine himself liking it that much? Maybe…

"No," Jamie said suddenly, causing Henry to startle slightly.

"You would have stuck with medicine?" For some reason, that wasn't the answer Henry had been expecting.

"I would. You seem like the kind of guy who enjoys helping people to the point of making your own life difficult in the process. Medicine can do that for you. I think you'd enjoy it. Besides, you can always keep cooking as a side thing, but it doesn't work the other way around. The law does not look kindly on back-alley surgeries. You don't need to go to culinary school to be able to cook food that people really like. And the money is an added bonus."

Henry laughed. "Ah, I get it. You're angling for a housew… er, househusband position. Can't do that with a cook husband."

Jamie's eyes widened for a bit, then a wicked grin spread across his face. "Henry, what are you implying?"

In complete and total honesty, Henry hadn't even considered the implications of what he was saying. Now that he was considering it, though, a part of him found it appealing. Having Jamie turn up at his door after a long day was already something that made him feel good. What if that was every day? After an exhausting day doing surgeries, or whatever it was he'd be doing in ten years, he could come home and find Jamie there, and he could just walk right on over and give him a…

An image of a picnic blanket, nothing on it but an empty basket, flashed through his mind. The guilt returned again, gnawing at him. He lowered his head and stared at his pizza and donut as the sounds around him faded into a dull, continuous ringing. His chest was starting to constrict again, and his breaths were becoming shorter and more labored.

A tap on his shoulder, and he jerked upwards, his mind clearing suddenly. Jamie was holding his monstrosity of a donut in front of Henry's face. "Try this. It's so good. Just a bite, though."

Henry took a moment to compose himself, rolled his eyes, and took a bite out of the donut. The taste of whipped cream and vanilla custard filled his mouth. Very sweet. Again, though, Kel would have gobbled this down in less than a second. Maybe the two of them would bond over their mutual love of junk food.

Why was he now imagining Jamie meeting his brother?

Jamie leaned forward, smiling. "You've got some cream on your nose there, buddy." He swiped it off with a finger, leaving a pink dusting behind on Henry's cheeks. Catching the reaction, Jamie then licked the cream off his finger, which made Henry gasp involuntarily.

Jamie giggled. "You are so easy, you know that?"

The darkness was creeping in at the corner of his vision again. Henry tried to push it away by focusing on that captivating smile across from him. A question came to mind. "So… uh, maybe a kind of weird question. Don't feel like you need to answer it if you don't feel comfortable with it. But… how did you know you liked men? Like… sexually?"

"Oh, yeah," Jamie replied, munching on his donut. "That's such a weird question that definitely has nothing to do with what just happened. But, to answer your question, I figured this out in middle school. Eighth grade, to be exact. To make a long story short, there was this guy in my class, and I figured out that I liked him because I kept fantasizing about him bending me over my desk and–"

"Okay, okay," Henry interrupted, going a deep shade of crimson as Jamie snickered at him. "Understood. So there was no… soul-searching involved?"

"Not really. Hard to ignore the facts when they're in your face like that. It helped that my parents are not the type to care about that kind of thing. If that's what you're going through, then unfortunately I won't be of much help."

Henry sighed, not having the strength to deny it. "...can people like both? Men and women, I mean."

Jamie raised an eyebrow. "Have they not invented bisexuality in Faraway yet?"

"Faraway is a pretty small town, Jamie. Everyone goes to church every Sunday. The most sex education we got was from the pastor, and he just told us not to have sex until marriage and never to put your… uh, penis near anyone's… rear end? That's the first time I've heard the word 'bisexuality'."

"We're not in a convent, Henry. You can say dick and butt. But you seem like you want to be very clear that it's both men and women you're into. Why?"

Damn him. That was the one question Henry didn't want but couldn't avoid now it had been asked. He'd never been any good at lying. But how could he even begin to approach the topic of Mari? Especially when it was… well, Jamie he was talking to.

Henry took a deep breath and pulled his wallet out of his pocket. "I'm going to show you something. I'd like you to be very careful with it."

Jamie nodded, his expression suddenly grave. That was another thing Henry really loved about him. He could be loose and easygoing and light up any room he was in. But he wasn't a clown. When it mattered, he was sensitive and sympathetic. Kind of like Mari, in a way, but at the same time very different. Henry opened his wallet and stared down at the old, yellowing photo tucked away in it. He could effortlessly recall every detail of the photo in his mind, but seeing the real thing, seeing Mari , even if it was only in a photo, was a different beast. It made him feel everything. The kiss. The joy. The hope. All immortalized on a polaroid for a man who no longer knew any of the three, and who could barely recognize himself in the boy people called Hero.

With hesitant, trembling hands, he handed the photo over to Jamie.

Jamie held it carefully away from his food, cupping his hand around the delicate material. His eyes softened as he took it in. "That's beautiful. Man, look at you. I've never seen you that happy. If that photo was of me, I'd have kept it too."

Henry smiled, but felt nothing.

"What was her name?" Jamie asked. 'Was'. Again, caught out immediately. At least that preempted the part of Henry that still, even at this point, wanted to avoid telling Jamie anything.

"Her name was Mari. She moved in next door to me when we were both… eight, maybe? We were best friends for a while. Then eventually I realized I really liked her. I asked her out when we were fourteen. She said yes. The year after that was… it was the best of my life."

Jamie said nothing, simply waiting for Henry to finish the story. And how would he finish the story? What had happened to this version of Mari, summarized in a few sentences for someone who'd never known her? Had she had her promising and fulfilling life ripped away from her by her brother and her memory desecrated because of the selfishness of her brother's best friend? Or had she stabbed him in the heart by taking her own life and leaving him to mourn in silence?

Of course, there was only really one option. "She committed suicide."

Jamie was silent for a while, simply gazing at the photo. Wordlessly, he handed the photo back to Henry, who tucked it back into his wallet. Then he leaned back in his chair, stared at the table and exhaled.

"I… can't even imagine how horrible that must have been for you. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. At fifteen as well."

Henry let out a bitter chuckle, his inhibitions dropping momentarily. "That's my story. You know, some days I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself. Sometimes I think I died that day too."

Jamie's pale blue eyes gazed right through him. They reminded him of another set of pale blue eyes, ones which had once been so bright. The truth was that Henry found himself hoping for Basil to die in the hospital more than once. It was something he'd never tell anyone. But, as Jamie had said himself, it was hard to ignore what was staring you in the face. Part of him genuinely, furiously hated Basil and Sunny with everything it had.

"Do you have hobbies?" The whiplash almost made Henry laugh.

"What?"

"I'm being serious, Henry. Do you do anything other than study and grieve?"

"I talk to you and Bowen. I go out sometimes. What do you do?"

Jamie's stare still pierced like a knife. "I do a lot of things. Work out, mess around with chemicals, paint. I think you understand what I'm getting at."

"Yeah, you and Bowen both made that pretty clear… wait, you paint?"

"I do." He paused for a moment. "I can show you, if you want. I have a little studio at my parents' house. It's not far away from here."

For some reason, this proposal seemed especially significant. In a sense, it was. He understood enough of what he was feeling about Jamie by now to know that, by accepting, he would be crossing a line he'd refused to cross for years. He was pretty sure Jamie knew that too.

Henry put on a shaky smile. "Sure. As long as we're back at the dorms by dinnertime. I've got some work I need to do. You'd better eat the rest of that quickly."

Jamie looked down at his half-eaten donut and untouched pizza, and looked back up at Henry.

"I've got a confession to make. I don't think I can finish this."

Notes:

New chapter in one week!

Chapter 9: Hesitation

Summary:

Henry reconsiders. Kel's first day back at school ends on a high.

It was the first day of the new school year, and Kel was seriously wondering how many days in a row he'd be able to wear his orange jersey before the smell killed someone. Thanks to Kim, barely anything else in his closet was wearable. He held the jersey up to his nose and gave it a tentative sniff before recoiling in shock. Man… did he really smell that bad?

Okay, so that wouldn't work. That left him with a few options. Kim had gotten him clothes that broadly fit into three categories: stuff that made him look like a Mormon, stuff that made him look like the person Mikhael dreamed of being, and stuff that made him look like he stayed home all day and played video games (by declaring it in big text). What was the least of the evils?

Kel huffed and threw on one of the gamer shirts. Hopefully nobody would laugh at him too much. Maybe he could wear it inside out or something? Still, it was probably the best option. If he turned up in one of his new dress shirts, Aubrey would probably never talk to him again out of embarrassment.

You're forgetting someone.

Kel gritted his teeth. Basil would be there, of course, and Aubrey would definitely expect Kel to help him settle back into school life. Obviously he couldn't say no to that, but the prospect still left him with butterflies in his stomach, and not the fun kind. Complicating things further was Basil's temporary immobility – Aubrey had volunteered to be the one to help him get everywhere, which meant that, if he wanted to talk to Aubrey, he'd have to talk to Basil as well.

Which was fine! It was totally fine. Why was this still a problem? Kel thought he'd knocked some sense into himself the day Basil had come back. He gave himself a sharp knock on the side of the head and muttered some vague affirmation he forgot as soon as the words left his mouth. Basil was his friend, and he would gladly help him out in any way possible.

A shout from downstairs alerted Kel that he was going to be late for the bus. He sighed and slung his bag over his back. Why couldn't they make the first day of school start, like, an hour later or something? Transitioning immediately from a holiday morning schedule to a school morning schedule was just cruel. He wolfed down some eggs before sprinting out the door and down to the bus stop, where he ended up just chilling for a few minutes because the bus was late, obviously.

When the bus did finally arrive, Kel busied himself greeting people and responding to people who were pestering him about whether he'd be trying out for the basketball team this year (of course he would be, why was that even a question?). At some point Jay and PB got on the bus together, holding hands, and a wave of excited whispering rippled through the bus. Kel rolled his eyes. The gossip train was starting early this year.

The two of them spotted him and waved, taking the row of seats behind him. Kel swivelled around and rested his chin on the back of his seat. "Hey, guys," he said, beaming at them. "Made it official?"

"Yep," Jay replied, squeezing PB's hand. "Looks like we're already getting some press about it. Should blow over soon."

Kel bobbed his head and turned to PB, who was looking at him with a twinkle in his eye. "So, hey, PB. Question. I know everyone calls you PB, but… do you actually like being called that?"

PB smiled. "I think it fits me."

"Oh, yeah, of course. But, like, would you prefer to be called by your name?"

"You don't know my name." PB's tone was teasing, and Jay chuckled a little.

"Uh, well, you can tell me. If you want."

PB giggled. "Pretty Boy started as a joke name people called me. PB is also my initials, so that's where it comes from. My name is Patrick."

"Only I get to call him that, though," Jay said. "To you, he is PB. To the world, he is PB. You must keep this secret with your life." PB giggled again and nuzzled into Jay's shoulder.

Ah, they were cute. Kel smiled and assured them that he would, before noticing that the bus was pulling up outside the school. He peered out the window and immediately spotted Polly's little blue sedan parked out the front. Aubrey and Polly were busy wrangling Basil's wheelchair out of the open trunk. Kel quickly said his goodbyes to Jay and PB and dashed out of the bus and over to them.

Even from a distance, he could tell Aubrey was pissed off. By the time Kel got to them, Polly was helping Basil out of the passenger seat and into the wheelchair, while Aubrey stood beside them with crossed arms glaring at anyone who dared look their way. She spotted Kel and her arms dropped in a way that made it clear she was about to start ranting, before she noticed his shirt and raised an eyebrow.

"You paused your game to be here?"

"Kim! Kim! Kim's fault!"

"I have no idea what that means, but whatever. Can you believe this fucking school? They put Basil's homeroom on the first floor. The one fucking thing Polly asks them not to do, and they do it. There's no ramp or anything, either, which Polly said was illegal. It's lucky I didn't bring my bat today. It's only been like five minutes and I'm already fantasizing about smacking the people who keep pointing at Basil."

Kel looked around and noticed the attention they were getting – or, more specifically, the attention Basil was getting. There were a lot of hateful looks. Basil, for his part, was staring at the ground.

"I'll be back to pick you up in the afternoon," Polly was saying, laying a gentle hand on Basil's shoulder. "Try to have a good day, okay? Your friends are here. It'll be alright."

Basil gave her a desultory nod. Polly looked worried, but got back into her car and drove off. The three of them lingered on the pavement for a moment.

"Do you want to push yourself?" Aubrey asked Basil, who seemed shocked that someone was talking to him. Again he just nodded. Already he looked like he was trying not to cry, but he pushed himself defiantly towards the school gates anyway, Aubrey walking at his side. Kel followed after them.

They were immediately confronted with the staircase in the main lobby of the building. The place was seething with people, half of whom seemed to be looking at Basil at any given moment. Kel tuned out the snide comments he heard in passing, but the whole thing still made him feel ill. Basil seemed to be wilting more and more with each passing second.

Aubrey huffed. "Okay. So there's no way around this, since the only other way up is the fire exit and that's alarmed. It looks too steep to pull you up. Uh… yeah, Basil, we might have to carry you."

Basil muttered something under his breath. Aubrey turned to Kel. "Carry Basil. I'll get the chair."

Kel, stomach sinking, walked over to Basil and knelt on one knee in front of him. Basil, staring into his own lap, kept an iron grip on the wheels of his chair for a moment, before finally loosening and allowing Kel to gather him into his arms. Aubrey hefted the chair, trying to get it into a comfortable position, and started up the stairs.

Basil kept his eyes firmly closed as Kel carried him up the stairs, only grunting occasionally as his injured stomach shifted position. Kel was thankful for that, as it meant Basil couldn't see the wave of emotions that he was sure were reflected in his expression. He had this urge to shiver, to just drop Basil like a sack of rocks and see him roll back down the stairs like Sunny had done to Mari. He couldn't hold back the thoughts that flooded his mind.

Why? Why am I thinking things like this? What's happening to me?

The whispers only got louder and more pointed as people spotted Basil being carried up the stairs. Clearly the captain of the football team dating a guy wasn't going to be enough of a distraction to save Basil. Despite his attempts to ignore them, Kel heard what they were saying, the comments they were making, and he knew Basil did too. Eventually, Basil let out a single sob and grabbed Kel's shirt to bury his face in. Again Kel fought back the instinct to shudder.

After what felt like a million years, they reached the top of the stairs, where Aubrey was waiting. Kel gently deposited Basil back in his chair. Basil's entire body was quivering slightly and his eyes were puffy, but he seemed to be making a determined effort to keep himself together. Aubrey dragged Kel so his body was blocking the line of sight of people walking past and leaned down to match Basil's eye level.

"Don't listen to them," she said. "Fuck. Them. Okay? They're pieces of shit who don't know anything, and they're just looking for something to do with their boring fucking lives. And you'll be out of the chair soon. Understand?"

"Y-yes," Basil croaked out.

"Say it with me. Fuck. Them."

"F-f-f…"

"Fuck…"

"F-fuck them."

"Good." Aubrey stood up, and Basil let out a strained giggle.

"How are we gonna do this between classes?" Kel asked. He really didn't want to have intrusive thoughts of throwing Basil down the stairs multiple times a day, but if that was what he had to do to help his friend, he would do it.

"I'll handle that," Aubrey replied. "Now, you guys…"

She was interrupted as a guy walked past them, leering at Basil, and said, "Good to have you back, fag." Aubrey whirled around and tried to lunge for him, but Kel and Basil grabbed her arms. The momentum nearly pulled Basil out of his chair and drew a painful hiss out of him as his stomach twisted, but he held on. Aubrey satisfied herself with throwing a few threats at the retreating figure before eventually calming down enough for the boys to let go.

"Maybe I should bring my bat in future," she said, still glaring into the distance. "Put some nails back in it, too." Kel said nothing, but found himself catching Basil's eye. The boy was staring at him with an expression he couldn't decipher. Kel gave him a nervous smile.

***

The drive to Jamie's parents' house took the two of them through beautiful wooded country that seemed quite out of place given the asphalt hellscape they'd just left. As the elevation increased and the sun started to go down, the air became noticeably colder. Jamie turned on the heater, which naturally made a constant rattling sound that made Henry fear for his life a bit. Eventually Jamie pulled off onto one of the many nondescript dirt tracks that branched off from the road, and came to a stop in front of a mesh gate.

"Could you hop out and open the gate for me, please?" asked Jamie. Henry got out, sucking in his breath as the cold air hit. He probably should have worn a jacket or something. It was getting cold quite early this year. He started to wander over to the gate, but turned around in shock as he heard the car engine roar. As he looked on in disbelief, Jamie reversed the car back down the dirt track towards the main road and disappeared behind a corner.

For a moment, Henry was alone with only the sound of his breathing. Then he heard the engine rev again. And again. The front of the car jerked back into view. And again. It kept inching back towards him.

"Jerk," Henry muttered, smiling. He turned back around and unlatched the gate before opening it, allowing Jamie through. Jamie gave him a cheeky grin and a wave through the window as he passed. Henry sighed and closed the gate again behind him. He hurried back to the car to escape the cold. Mercifully, the car stayed put.

"You're mean," he chided Jamie as he got back into the passenger seat. "I thought you were going to leave me all by myself in this strange place as punishment for not eating all my food."

Jamie cooed. "Oh, poor Henry. Don't you worry, I'd never do that to you. The thought of never seeing your pretty face again makes me sick to my stomach." He set off forward again along the track, which wound seemingly at random through the forest. Even that painfully sardonic flirting made Henry smile a little, but he turned away so Jamie wouldn't see. No need to let him know how much of an effect he had. Instead, he watched the forest pass by alongside them.

"You know, when you said your parents had a place in the country, I was expecting something more along the lines of fields. But this is pretty rugged."

"Sure is," Jamie replied, swerving around a fallen tree. "My mom grew up in a pretty remote area, and my dad just loves outdoorsing. Don't be fooled, though. This place has better internet connection than most cities. And it definitely has better hot water than the dorms."

"Well, that's not hard." The two of them shared a laugh of mutual struggle. Showering in the dorms could be a challenging experience.

The house appeared suddenly as Jamie rounded a corner – a modern, brightly lit two-storey building which looked very odd amidst the nature. Weirdly, though, the garage was just a corrugated iron roof and one wooden wall, though the big SUV in it looked quite expensive. Jamie parked next to the other car, and the two of them got out.

"Let's get inside," advised Jamie. "It'll be warm in there. My mother longs for the heat of the home country."

Before Henry could ask what that meant, the front door swung open and a woman stepped out. This was definitely Jamie's mother: the eyes and hair color were identical. What they did not share, however, was height. Jamie's mother was about as tall as Henry, while Jamie only came up to his chin.

"Hello, Jamie!" his mother called, in a very thick Australian accent. "Oh, this must be Henry. It's great to finally meet you. What brings you two up here?"

"Just giving him the tour," Jamie replied. "We won't stay long. Mr Studious here has his books to get back to, and God forbid I keep him from that."

Jamie's mother barked out a laugh. "Right then. Regardless, it's good to see you. Henry, I've heard a lot of good things about you. I'm Lisa, by the way." She marched up to him and offered him a hand. Henry shook it hesitantly. She already knows who I am?

"Hello, Lisa. It's lovely to meet you. I wish I could stay for dinner, but unfortunately Jamie's right. I've got some assignments I need to do."

Lisa laughed. "Polite. You could teach my son a thing or two. Well, that's alright. I'll get out of your hair now. But I'm hoping to see you over more often in future, Henry. It's been so long since Jamie's brought anyone over here!"

It was relieving to see Jamie flustered for once. Henry laughed as the three of them traipsed inside to be met with a blast of warm air. He sighed in satisfaction and went to stand in front of one of the air vents. The house was spacious and spotless, though a bit too monochrome for Henry's taste. The living room next to the front hallway sported a very large wall-mounted TV, and the kitchen behind it looked well-stocked.

"I'll be in the living room if you need me," Lisa said with a teasing tone. "Jamie, go on and show him your art. Oh, by the way, Henry. If there's one piece of advice I would give you about my son, it's that you should only listen to half of what comes out of his mouth. He likes the sound of his own voice too much. Second piece of advice: he may seem cool as a cucumber, but he's a big softie. One hug and he melts."

"Mom!" Jamie exclaimed as Henry chuckled. "Okay, we're going upstairs now. Stop pestering him." He practically hauled Henry upstairs as the sound of his mother's barking laughter echoed behind them.

The upper floor looked much the same as the lower floor – a lot of white, big windows, and not a speck of dust to be found. "My old room is up here, but it's pretty much just storage now," Jamie reported. "Actually, my old violin would probably still be in there. But that's about it."

"You play the violin?"

"I did, up until I graduated high school. I was pretty decent at it. It just kind of fell by the wayside a bit. I was never that passionate about it, to be honest. But that's not what we're here for. Check this out." He led Henry over to one of the doors. It was only then that Henry registered that they were holding hands. Jamie's small hand felt warm and comfortable in Henry's grip. Just like…

Henry blinked furiously, trying to stave off the rogue thoughts. Luckily Jamie didn't seem to be in the mood to look at him right now, judging by the one very red cheek within Henry's line of sight, so he didn't notice. Despite his best efforts, Henry could hear the faint sound of a shattered boy's promise at a funeral.

"I'll love you forever."

The door swung open and Jamie stepped inside, letting go of Henry's hand. Henry's thoughts momentarily dissipated as he looked in awe at the room he'd just entered. Then he started to chuckle a bit.

Unlike everywhere else in the house, this place was messy; almost Kel levels of messy. Canvases were strewn randomly across the room. There were splotches of paint everywhere, some so high up on the walls that Henry couldn't figure out how they'd gotten there. Brushes, empty tubes and other various obstacles were scattered across the floor. Henry had to step gingerly around them, though Jamie seemed to know exactly where everything was.

"This is my studio," he said, turning to face Henry now that his face was an acceptable shade. "I actually haven't been here since the summer break, so things are a bit dusty at the moment. As you can see, a lot of my masterpieces are a bit unfinished. That's all part of the fun."

It was true – some of the 'masterpieces' did indeed look unfinished. One definitely finished painting caught Henry's eye, though: a big canvas hung high on one wall depicting a young girl with pigtails and familiar pale blue eyes, grinning at the viewer.

"What's that one?" he asked, pointing at the painting. Jamie seemed to know which one he was talking about without looking, and he suddenly looked a bit pensive.

"Story for another time," he replied. "Anyway, this is what I used to spend most of my time doing when I still lived here. I still like to come back here a lot to paint as well. I've been slacking off a bit on that. Of all the things I picked up after… during my teenage years, this one was the best. But yeah. I used to spend hours a day doing this. As messy as this looks, I can assure you it used to be a lot worse."

Henry walked around to look at all the canvases, most of which were portraits. He recognized Lisa in one of them, but the others were all people he didn't know.

"Friends, family, random people on the street that I try to do from memory," Jamie explained, peering over Henry's shoulder. "I'm not really sure why I'm drawn to portraits the most, but I barely do anything else. Though I don't do many portraits these days either, to be honest. Been having too much fun in the city."

Henry laughed. "You're in our room so often I don't know how you get the time to study. Or go to classes."

"What can I say? I love you and Bobo. You're great."

Henry chewed on that for a moment. "Is that so? What do you like so much about us? About me?"

Jamie shrugged. "You guys are stable. Grounded. I used to spend so much time running around in the exuberance of youth. One day I'll tell you about all the stuff I got up to. But I want to be done with that now, you know? You're someone I can just be in the presence of without pressure. You're comfortable. And you're cute. Though that goes for the both of you, especially with Bobo's new tattoo. Might need to watch out."

"Well, does your mom know about Bowen? Does Omar know as much about Bowen as he does about me?" Henry's tone was teasing, but he was feeling a bit strained. This conversation was only surviving without incident because neither of them were willing to spell out the implications of what they were saying, and both of them knew it.

"I've never been very good at hiding these things. I wear my heart on my sleeve." Again, that barely perceptible tension of what was being left unsaid. Henry felt himself start to slip into brooding thoughts again.

After a few moments of silence, Jamie spoke up again. "Have you dated anyone since Mari passed?"

A beat.

"Up until about a month ago I'd never even looked at anyone twice since Mari passed."

Silence again.

Henry could kid himself all he wanted with his little games with Jamie. They were a luxury for when he had a clear head. But he knew that as soon as he got back to his room and went to sleep, his dreams would show him where his mind really was. He would dream of hanging bodies and crying boys, and he would renew his vow, over and over and over again, to love her and only her for the rest of his life. In the daylight, the guilt could be ignored, but it always returned.

"You wanna head back now?" Jamie asked, seeming a little downcast.

Henry nodded.

***

The first day of school passed mercifully quickly. Kel got a few comments about his shirt, though, which only made him more determined to get Kim back somehow for her crimes against his closet. He hadn't had any classes that day with either Aubrey or Basil, which allowed him to take his mind off things a bit. At lunch he'd paid a quick visit to Aubrey and the Hooligans, who seemed to have adopted Basil into their group, before going to sit with his other friends he'd made through various sport teams. All the talk about tryouts and the strengths of different local schools got repetitive after a while, but at least it didn't give him any confusing thoughts. Kel was glad for a bit of mental quiet.

At least in that group it was Jay and PB rather than Basil who were the objects of the most gossip, since most of them knew Jay well. There were more than a couple of heartbroken girls around, and people kept coming up with increasingly unhinged guesses for PB's real name that made Kel laugh.

After the final bell rang, Kel dashed to the front gate, immediately spotting Polly's car parked outside. He waved and walked over to her as she rolled down the window. "Is Basil alright?" she asked, not attempting to disguise the worry in her tone.

"I haven't seen him since lunch," Kel replied. "It was pretty tough when we came in this morning, but I think Aubrey and her friends have been keeping an eye on him. Oh, there they are."

Aubrey and Basil, flanked by the Hooligans, emerged from the school gates and headed for the car. Basil was pushing himself as always, though his head was still hanging low and Aubrey didn't exactly look pleased.

"Basil!" Polly said, opening the passenger side door for him. "Hey there! How was your first day?"

Basil groaned as he wheeled himself up next to the door and hoisted himself into the car. "It… wasn't very good. I'd like to go home now."

"Want us to come with?" Aubrey asked, pulling the wheelchair around to the trunk of the car. Kel and Vance both moved to help her cram the chair into the tiny trunk.

"I-if you want…?" Basil replied hesitantly.

"Hey, don't worry about it," said Aubrey. "If you want some alone time after that, I don't blame you. I need to sleep at Mom's house tonight anyway, so… yeah. But I'll be there tomorrow, flower boy. Count on it."

Basil gave her a grateful look in the rearview mirror. "Thank you. I just… need some time to myself right now, I think. Thank you for all your help today, guys."

"No problem," Vance grunted as he slammed the trunk shut. "I think we owe it to you. See ya tomorrow."

As Polly and Basil drove off, the Hooligans began chattering amongst themselves. As soon as he spotted Kim, Kel made a beeline for her, only for Aubrey to step smoothly into his path. "You got some problem with Kim?" she asked, her voice dangerously casual. Over her shoulder, Kel spotted Kim putting up middle fingers at him.

"She made me get all these dumb clothes!" Kel complained. "It sucks. Now people point at me and laugh when they walk past me. And I'm not even wearing the worst of it."

Aubrey was unsympathetic. "Yeah, she told me. And it was funny. Also, it's really not that bad. If you think it is, though, you can always swap with Basil."

Kel scratched the back of his neck and looked at the Hooligans, who were busy bickering with each other over something. "So, did you get them all to help take Basil up and down the stairs?"

"Yep. Took a bit of convincing for someone " – she glared at Mikhael – "but everyone agreed to help out. Vance was right, we do owe it to him. I don't know if Basil feels comfortable being carried around by Vance and Charlie, but there's not much choice. Unless you feel like taking a break from your jock friends and helping out yourself."

Kel scowled. "Look, it's been a pretty hectic few days, okay? I'm sorry. I just needed a bit of time to get back to normal. I will help out. I promise." As a matter of fact, he had been asked in one of his classes why he was helping carry around a violent psycho. Though he'd just ignored the question, it had stuck in his brain more than he wanted to admit.

Aubrey crossed her arms, but her expression softened almost imperceptibly. "Fine, as long as you can help him out. He needs it. He needs us."

Suddenly, Kel felt like he would prefer to be talking about anything else. "Are you doing anything this afternoon? My mom wanted me to pick some stuff up from the bakery before I came home."

"I would rather be hanging out literally anywhere other than my mom's house," Aubrey replied, "so yeah, I can come along. Kind of feel like going for a walk anyway."

"My thoughts exactly," Kel said proudly. "Let's get going, then."

It was another beautiful late summer day, so the walk through town to the bakery was very relaxing. Neither of them said much, just enjoying the moment. But Kel couldn't help but notice they were walking quite close to each other. Closer than they normally would.

Aubrey made her intentions clear soon afterwards with an 'accidental' bump against his shoulder, facing directly forwards the whole time and pretending not to notice. Kel smiled and 'accidentally' bumped her back. He watched her side profile as she tried desperately to avoid smiling and giving the game away.

She bumped him again, harder this time. He responded with equal force. Then she turned around and pushed him, though with the weight difference between them (and the fact that Aubrey wasn't actually pushing very hard) Kel only stumbled back about a foot. He grinned and raised his arms, preparing for an almighty shove.

Aubrey faced him, hands on hips. "Do it and I'll beat you up," she threatened. Then they both dissolved into a fit of giggles. Kel felt a familiar warmth trace its way through his chest as the two locked eyes and their laughter slowly faded.

Eventually, Aubrey broke the tension by stepping forward and poking him lightly in the chest. "Come on. Let's go get this bread before your mother yells at you and you start crying."

"I do not cry when that happens," an offended Kel shot back, but Aubrey only laughed and kept walking.

They reached the Othermart and headed through the aisles to the back of the building where the bakery was located. It seemed like both of the bread twins were on duty today: Daphne behind the counter and Bowen next to one of the shelves. They were both stone-faced as usual, but Kel got a strange feeling that they were a bit more dour than normal.

Kel bounded up to the counter. "Hi, Daphne! My mom put in an order for some stuff this morning, and I'm here to pick it up. I even brought money this time!"

"Oh, yes," Daphne replied, blinking at him. "Indeed. I will go and fetch your bread now." She disappeared into the back room, leaving Kel and Aubrey to look at each other. What was that about? Daphne seemed almost uninterested. These crazies were never uninterested when it came to bread.

Daphne came back out and dumped a plastic bag on the counter. Kel handed over the cash. "Rough day?" he asked as Daphne counted out his change.

Daphne sighed. "Forgive me. It is a sorrowful day for us all. Tomorrow Bowen will be departing for college. I must admit it is impacting my professionalism. Oh, but I will miss him. We have never been apart for so long."

"Oh, that sucks," Kel replied. "Where's he going?"

"Nearby City. He will be studying business management. It is a long way away, and we will not be able to visit often. It is unfortunate."

Nearby City. That was where Hero was studying. Suddenly, a strange idea rooted itself in Kel's brain. Once Daphne handed over his change, he walked over to Bowen.

"Hey, so I heard you're going to Nearby City," he started uncertainly. Bowen just looked at him and didn't say anything. For a moment, Kel wondered if this was a good idea, but plowed ahead before he could start thinking too much about it.

"I don't know if you know, but my brother Hero goes there as well. I don't know if you guys still talk anymore, but… uh, yeah. Not to overshare or anything, but he hasn't been doing too well recently. You probably know the stuff that happened with Basil and Sunny. He went back to college for the summer a little while after all of that went down. He, uh… I don't think he's been sleeping well, and when he's feeling bad he always studies a lot. I'm rambling. Uh, anyway, if you see him around there, could you just… check in? See how he's doing? Only if it's convenient for you, obviously. You don't need to go around hunting for him or anything. Just… yeah. And don't tell him I told you."

Bowen stared at him for a few seconds, during which Kel started to wonder if he'd even been listening. Eventually, though, he nodded gravely. "If I see him, I will check in," he said. "Thank you for telling me this, Kel."

Kel gave him an awkward nod in return before leaving.

"Look at you, being all caring," Aubrey said as they walked away. "Hero doesn't deserve you, you know that?"

He sighed and avoided her eyes. "Look, he's been going through stuff. Just because we're going through a bad period doesn't mean I want him to work until he drops."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Somebody needs to take care of him. Lord knows he probably won't do it himself." She turned and stared straight at him. "But you have to stop making excuses for him, Kel. I get he's your brother and all, but he was still a piece of shit to you. He won't stop being a piece of shit to you until you tell him how much of a piece of shit he's being."

Kel didn't answer. The entire conversation, despite being about him, made him feel like he was overhearing something he shouldn't. Fortunately, Aubrey didn't press. The two left Othermart, returning to a warm breeze and the sound of chatter from the direction of the park.

"Wanna go to the hangout spot?" Aubrey asked suddenly. Kel nodded. Hopefully his mom wouldn't be too mad if he was a little late back. Also, hopefully he wouldn't leave the bag of bread anywhere. That did happen sometimes when Kel went and did other stuff.

The hangout spot was pristine as ever, if a little overgrown – Aubrey didn't tolerate her friends leaving random stuff here, unlike the junkyard. The descending sun made the lake shimmer in the late afternoon light. Across the lake, Kel could just about see six pinwheels spinning where they'd left them four years ago. Aubrey didn't let the Hooligans mess with those either.

The two took off their shoes and sat on the edge of the dock, dangling their feet in the cool water below. Aubrey looked a bit pensive. It didn't surprise him: the last time they were both here on this dock, she'd pushed Basil into the lake. Basil, who couldn't swim, and she knew it. As Kel looked into those impenetrable teal eyes, he wondered what she was thinking.

"You've been quieter recently," she said, turning to him. "You were kinda back to your old self, but ever since Basil came back you've gotten all moody again. Why?"

There were a lot of possible answers to that question, and Kel didn't know which one was the most correct. But he did know that the last thing he wanted to be doing right now was sharing his disgusting intrusive thoughts about Basil with Aubrey. Having weird misgivings and running away because of them was not something he did.

Unlike some other people , his mind said before Kel shut it up.

Instead, he went for a half-truth. "It just reminds me of everything. There was a while there where I could almost forget about everything bad that's happened to us. And now it's all in my face again. I don't know. It'll pass."

Aubrey sighed. "Yeah, I get it. I've had a lot of fun these past couple of months with you, just living in the moment and not having to worry about any of that stuff. And obviously I can't look at Basil without being reminded of… everything. But we still gotta be there for him, yeah?"

"Yeah," Kel replied. Part of him was begging to ask her why she was being so nice to Basil. Why could she forgive him so easily for hanging Mari but spend four years hating him for scribbling out the photos in the album? How could she act so naturally around someone who'd caused so much hurt to everyone? How could she even look at him without being painfully, painfully aware of everything he'd done…

But he didn't ask any of those things. He was sick of thinking about Basil. Instead he moved himself over a little so that their thighs were just barely touching. Aubrey rolled her eyes and kicked a bit of water over his leg, but didn't move. Kel grinned and kicked back. She hissed as a few drops of water got onto her miniskirt.

"Did you know that Vance has been teaching me wrestling?" she said with a faux calm, as if she was reciting a piece of trivia.

Kel played along. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah. That means people who get water on my clothes should watch out."

"I have half a foot and like 40 pounds on you," Kel boasted. "And I kind of know how to wrestle. I watched some WWE once. Maybe it's you who should be watching out."

That triggered Aubrey's competitive streak. She got up and walked back down the dock towards land, stretching her arms. "Leave your bag there. Don't want your mom's bread to get all squashed when I mash your face into the dirt."

Kel laughed and followed her. They stood a few paces apart facing each other. Aubrey kept stretching various limbs while Kel jumped around a bit.

"Ready to get your ass beat?" Aubrey asked.

"Always!" Kel shot back.

What followed lasted about three seconds and was a bit embarrassing. Kel ran straight at Aubrey, who stepped aside, cut his legs out from under him with a good kick, and slammed him into the ground on his back. The impact sent the air rushing out of Kel's lungs in a weird moan. Aubrey landed on top of him, hands planted on either side of his body, a savage grin on her face.

It took Kel a good while to get his breath back. As he tried to blink the stars out of his eyes, he became acutely aware of how close Aubrey was to him, her head hovering over his chest. The complaint about how that was definitely an illegal move died on his lips. The only sounds were the rustling of leaves in the warm breeze and the quiet hum of distant traffic. His heart rate, already elevated, skyrocketed and became so loud Aubrey was probably able to hear it.

Aubrey, who had been staring into his eyes for who knew how long now. Aubrey, who looked so beautiful like this, flushed with victory. She didn't show her happiness often, but Kel loved it when she did. It made him feel like he'd done something special. He loved that about her. He loved a lot of things about her.

People often called Kel oblivious, or stupid, or dim, or any number of other things. Sometimes he did miss things. But he had a certain intuition when it came to people, and that intuition was screaming at him that it was now or never.

Slowly, tentatively, he looped his arms around Aubrey's waist, his grip loose enough that Aubrey could easily break free if she wanted. Her breath hitched, and her cheeks bloomed pink, but she did not move.

For a moment, they kept staring at each other. Then Aubrey cautiously lowered herself down so her head rested on Kel's chest. There was no way now that she couldn't hear Kel's heart about to burst out of him. Belatedly, he realized that he could feel a second racing heartbeat pushing against his stomach: Aubrey's own.

The tip of Aubrey's bow tickled Kel's nose as she turned her head a bit and ran one hand along his arm. She lingered over his bicep, exploring it a bit, squeezing. "Buff," she muttered. "Not fair." Kel didn't trust himself to say anything without exploding.

Then she hoisted herself up again and moved forward so that her face hovered above Kel's. Her breath tickled his skin and sent goosebumps rippling across his body. He was losing himself in those wide teal eyes. Somewhere inside him, a mental camera snapped a picture, immortalizing the moment.

"You're nervous," Aubrey said, her voice little more than a whisper and punctuated by a little voice crack. Kel just nodded, feeling the blood rushing to his face. She kept looking at him for a while, her eyes tracing over his features, almost as if she was looking for something. Kel swallowed and gazed at her, inviting her.

She lowered her head, and her lips met his.

Kel closed his eyes and sighed into the touch, overwhelmed by the sudden rush of sensation. Aubrey was kissing him , and she was doing it so gently, so softly, and Christ he wanted to be doing this forever. Bits of her hair fell over his face, sending further stimulation to his already overworked brain. If a bomb had gone off nearby at that moment, Kel wouldn't have heard a thing.

After what seemed like a million years, Aubrey lifted her head again. Kel gasped and his head lifted involuntarily, trying to chase the touch. That got a smile out of her. She cupped Kel's cheeks with her hands and went in for a second kiss. Kel accepted it hungrily, and tightened his hold over her waist. Where the first kiss had been the image of innocence and purity, this one was passion. Kel's tongue probed gently against Aubrey's teeth, and she opened her jaw and let him in. Both of them groaned softly as their tongues met.

When they finally parted, Aubrey looked like she'd just run a marathon. She was breathing heavily and her mouth hung slightly open, like she wasn't really sure she wasn't still kissing him. Kel was doing the same, but he barely noticed. Every bit of his brainpower was being used to gaze up at her.

She moved back down to rest her head on his chest again, clutching one of his hands with both of hers, and they lay there together for a while, simply enjoying the feeling of each other while the setting sun bathed the hangout spot in beautiful shades of orange, yellow and red. Kel's mind was, for the first time in far too long, blissfully empty. The only sensations he felt were where Aubrey's body met his. Every stroke of his thumb with her own felt like a searing fire. Every one of her breaths on his chest felt like a barrage of kisses.

A blurry thought entered his brain. "Mom's gonna be mad I'm getting back late. Yours might be too."

Aubrey groaned. "No. Don't wanna. Stay here."

Kel broke into a big, goofy grin and gladly obeyed. Aubrey tilted her head so that she was looking at him while her cheek was still smushed into his chest. "Don't forget your bread."

That got both of them to laugh a bit.

Notes:

Kelbrey fans, you have been patient. Enjoy your reward.

New chapter in one week!

Chapter 10: Two Steps Back

Summary:

Henry slips up. Kel, Aubrey and Basil do some gardening.

"Two thousand milligrams of sodium," Bowen said, staring glumly at the back of the packet of instant ramen. "Ohoooo. My stomach is churning at the thought."

Henry laughed at Bowen's despondent expression. "This right here is the real college experience, Bowen. You've had it too good for too long. Most people don't eat home cooked meals. This is what I lived on for most of first year."

"And you wonder why you are tired and unfit," Bowen fired back, to which Henry only responded with another laugh. It was ingrained into Bowen's DNA that you needed to cook special meals whenever someone came over. However, with how often Jamie had dinner at their place, this was rapidly becoming financially unsustainable, even though Jamie covered part of the cost out of his own (apparently deep) pockets. Henry had managed to persuade Bowen that the fare for tonight's movie night should be some classic instant ramen instead. Bowen had conceded, but hadn't stopped complaining about it since. At least Jamie was fine with ramen – though he seemed to be fine with anything, as long as it contained no spice whatsoever.

Thinking of Jamie made Henry's stomach clench a bit. They hadn't seen each other or spoken at all since their trip to the fast food place and Jamie's house, which had been a few days prior. With time to reflect on it, Henry had come to a few realizations.

Firstly, it had been a date. He hadn't wanted to acknowledge that at the time, but it definitely was.

Secondly, Jamie had stopped about half an inch short of outright confessing to him. Henry couldn't ignore any longer that there was clearly some romantic interest there.

Thirdly, there was a part of him that really, really wanted to reciprocate. That terrified him the most.

His dreams had tormented him mercilessly since that day, baiting him in with sweet memories of his time with Mari before slamming their jaws shut over him with images of blood and death. He saw Basil, plunging shears into his stomach over and over again, crying happy tears as his lifeblood drained out onto a wooden floor. He saw Mari struggling against the noose, crying out in terror as Sunny and Basil hanged her from that tree, but could not move to save her. He saw Mari waiting all alone for him on her picnic blanket in a frozen field, shivering and fearful.

His days weren't exempt either. Every time his gaze happened to wander over the little porcelain cat he'd bought on the day of the frat house party, still sitting on his bedside table, it was like an injection of pure cold into his veins. Several times a day, he would recall the day of Mari's funeral: the day he'd made his promise to love nobody but her, forever.

The message was loud and clear. Jamie was sweet. He invariably made Henry happier whenever he was around. He was cute. But Henry could not, would not succumb. His heart belonged only to one person. More than once he'd considered asking Bowen to call off their movie night, but how would he explain that to him? And how would he explain it to Jamie? He couldn't just avoid him forever.

On cue, there was a knock at the front door. Jamie had taken to knocking only a single time whenever he came over, in honor of Henry's awkward attempt to apologize to him the day after the party. It was a little in-joke that usually made Henry start smiling in anticipation even before Jamie entered the room. This time, though, it made him feel like a lead weight was pushing down on his chest.

It was Bowen who ended up opening the door for him.

"Hey there, Bobo!" Jamie greeted him, as the two did some weird handshake thing that looked more like arm wrestling than a friendly greeting. "What's up?"

Bowen sighed. "Rarely have I been less excited for dinner. I cannot believe that people consume this regularly."

"Oh, it's not so bad," Jamie replied. "It has its own charm. I bet that in ten years you'll be reminiscing about the simpler times when you cooked ramen on your shitty little stovetop that was broken half the time. You'll look back on it as a character-building moment. Also, forget the ramen for a moment. I seem to remember asking you to wear short sleeves tonight."

As quickly as that, Bowen flipped from calm and collected to bashful, as he always did whenever anything related to his new tattoo was brought up. "I… do not quite feel comfortable yet with doing that. Perhaps some other time."

"Some other time? The weather's gonna start getting cold soon, and then that's gonna be your excuse for the next six months. Give it a go, yeah? Henry and I have seen it already. You are among friends. Nobody is gonna judge you."

A blushing Bowen lowered his head to the floor and did not answer. Jamie sighed and gently unbuttoned the cuffs on Bowen's right sleeve. "I'm gonna roll it just above the elbow, alright? No further, I promise. You'll only be able to see a little bit." Bowen blushed even more, but did not resist as Jamie started rolling up his sleeve.

Henry leaned against the countertop and observed the interaction. Normally, Jamie and Bowen being this intimate would get a reaction out of him. Normally he would have participated in the conversation. Right now, though, the only thing he felt was mild apprehension.

Jamie finished rolling up Bowen's sleeves and clapped him on the shoulder. "You look great," he assured him, before turning his attention to Henry. "Hey, Henry. How are you doing?" He walked over to the countertop Henry was leaning against and stood next to him, close enough that their shoulders were brushing. Henry flinched away from the contact.

"I'm alright," he replied, feeling guilty as a flicker of dismay crossed Jamie's expression before disappearing. "We should probably get started on dinner."

"Oh. Okay."

Henry and Bowen got started on the ramen while Jamie sat at the dining table. Instant ramen wasn't really a two-man job, but Bowen insisted on helping – another one of his weird etiquette hangups for whenever they had guests – and Henry did not want to be alone with Jamie right now. Normally there would be a lively conversation happening between the kitchen and the dining table in a situation like this, but it seemed like the room had picked up on Henry's mood. He could feel eyes boring into his back, though he didn't want to turn around and check if Jamie was actually looking at him. He did, however, catch Bowen looking at him once. Bowen's face was never very expressive, but Henry felt that he looked… irritated, almost? He turned his gaze back to the simmering pot again before he could decipher the look.

After a painfully long silence, three steaming bowls of instant ramen were ready for consumption. The three of them sat down at the dining table – Bowen at the head, with Henry and Jamie on either side. The clinking of cutlery and random slurping noises only served to accentuate the fact that nobody was saying anything. Henry kept his eyes firmly on his bowl. Bowen kept looking at his own arm as if he was continually shocked that the tattoo was still there. And Jamie… well, Henry had no idea what he was doing, since he hadn't looked at him once.

"This tastes great, you guys," Jamie said in a courageous imitation of his usual chipper tone, though the strain in his voice was clear. "Kudos to you."

"Thank you," Bowen replied in a voice so quiet it was little more than a whisper. Henry just nodded awkwardly, still staring into his bowl. The grease floating around on top was making him feel ill. And Bowen had been right about the salt. It felt like he was shaving years off his life by eating this. How had he managed to eat so much of this in first year? He wanted to puke.

He wanted to go to bed and dream again. It was miserable, but it felt more honest than this.

"Bathroom," Jamie murmured to nobody in particular, and got up from the table. The screech of his chair against the wooden floor made Henry grit his teeth. As Jamie's footsteps receded, he noticed he was gripping his fork so hard his knuckles were turning white.

"Henry," Bowen said, an uncharacteristic forcefulness in his voice. Henry turned to look at him. Unsurprisingly, he did not look happy.

"You are upsetting him," he observed, his fiery eyes meeting Henry's tired ones. "Why?"

Henry sighed. "Look, I think this might have been a bad idea. I'm… just really not feeling this right now. I've just been pretty tired lately. Maybe it would be best to put this off for another time…"

Bowen scoffed. "Henry, whatever you may think of me, I am not an idiot. Jamie told me about what happened on your outing a few days ago. This is not just tiredness. You have been exhausting yourself constantly for months and have been acting perfectly normal up until now."

"What's your point?" Henry asked, a bit snappier than he intended. It was obvious that both of them were getting rapidly angrier.

"What is my point?" Bowen echoed in disbelief, his voice rising to an un-Bowen-like volume. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Hero! Your mind is locked away in the past, and whenever it seems like the present is becoming too distracting for you, you self-destruct."

Henry clenched his jaw. Was that a slip-up or purposeful? Bowen had never made a mistake with his name before…

"Hero?"

Both Henry and Bowen whipped around to see Jamie standing in the bathroom doorway. Though his expression was neutral, his stiff posture betrayed how tense he was.

Henry scrambled to think of an explanation, but Bowen jumped in first. "Hero is his nickname. It is how people from Faraway refer to him."

"Is that right? Wow."

Another wave of memories washed over Henry. Though his relationship with Mari had been mostly placid, he had only been fifteen at the time, and there wasn't a fifteen year old boy on Earth who hadn't said something stupid at some point. Sometimes he'd say something (often about either Sunny or their parents) and Mari would have a reaction like that – something that seemed innocent enough on the surface, but sent a clear message that Henry had stepped into a minefield without a metal detector. Usually, in trying to get himself out of said minefield, he'd blow himself up.

He glared at Bowen, only realizing too late that this would signpost to Jamie exactly how important this piece of information was.

"Any reason you didn't tell me that?" Jamie asked, his tone deceptively casual. He walked back over to the dining table and stood behind his chair, looking down at Henry.

"It's not important," Henry replied flatly. "It's a nickname that people in my hometown use. It doesn't mean anything. My real name is Henry."

Jamie abandoned the pretense there. His face twisted in anger, and his next question was honed to a point. "What do your parents call you?"

Henry pursed his lips and said nothing. Under the pressure from Bowen and Jamie, both of whom were looking at him like he was a disappointment, his defensive wall began to crumble. The resolve he'd felt in deciding to stay loyal to Mari was starting to dissipate. What was he doing? Why did he feel so… ugly?

"God," Jamie said, turning away from him angrily as his face went red. "I really thought I was getting through to you, Henry. I thought… I thought you were responding. I thought we had something. But you were never planning on letting me in at all, were you? It looked like I was actually starting to get to know you, but now it turns out I don't even know you by the name that all the actually important people in your life call you."

"Not all of them. You don't." The response felt weak as soon as it passed Henry's lips, and Jamie responded by clenching his fists and letting out a pained exhale.

"Bullshit. I'm not important to you. I don't know anything about you. You won't let me know anything about you, because you want to keep me away. Because you want to live the rest of your life for… her ." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I showed you my trust, Henry. I showed you things and places that are important in my life. Now I feel like I've just been taken for a ride. I feel stupid."

Henry sat paralyzed, his brain scattering any coherent thoughts before they had the chance to settle. He couldn't form any kind of response. He didn't know whether he wanted to run to Jamie and beg for forgiveness, or shout at him and tell him to leave and never come back, or something else entirely. Bowen's iron, silent gaze on him from the sidelines didn't help either.

When it became clear that Henry wasn't going to say anything, Jamie let out a strangled yelp and marched to the front door, trying unsuccessfully to stifle his sniffles. Before putting his hand on the door handle, though, he turned to face Henry again. His jaw was quivering, the muscles in his neck stood taut, and his eyes glistened with tears. It looked horribly unnatural. Jamie's face was made for smiles and laughter. Seeing that expression on him felt like a stab in the heart.

"I'm right here, Henry," he said, his voice quavering and cracking occasionally. "Or Hero, or… whoever you are. I want this. I want you. And it really feels like you want this too. Am I crazy for thinking that? Why won't you just fucking let it happen?"

A slam of the door, and he was gone.

Silence descended like a heavy blanket over the room. Henry's throat felt raw, like he'd been screaming. He found himself staring at the empty spot across the table where Jamie should have been sitting. Inside his head was only a directionless whirlwind.

"If you think I do not understand that you are suffering, you are mistaken," Bowen said quietly. "I do. The loss was painful for us. I cannot imagine how it must have been for you. But this is simply self-torture. You are running from everything. You ran from your friends, your family, your own brother. And now you are running from Jamie as well."

"I ran from my family?" Henry echoed. "Is it so wrong to want a fresh start?"

"Where is the fresh start, Henry? There is nothing 'fresh' about this. You are living in an eternal vigil for somebody who will never appreciate what you are sacrificing. Did you know that most nights I wake up in the middle of the night because of your restless sleep? You throw yourself around, you kick, you cry. Sometimes I have even heard you beg for death. You study until you can no longer breathe properly."

Bowen went on, getting more and more upset as he did so. Henry could only listen in silence. "Have you looked at yourself in a mirror recently? You are so thin, and so pale. Am I just meant to wait and allow this to happen until one day I wake up to find you have had a heart attack in your sleep? If anything happens to you, your brother and your parents will demand to know what I did to help you. Am I meant to say I did nothing? When I come before the Lord someday, am I meant to tell Him that I stood by and allowed a friend to destroy himself in search of something he can never obtain? You are not just hurting yourself, Henry, as much as you may wish it."

He slumped back in his chair, seemingly exhausted by his outburst. Henry's vision went blurry as tears welled up in his eyes. How could Bowen understand? Henry and Mari had built a whole future together in hushed conversations while their younger friends played around them or in their precious few moments alone. In one day, it had all come undone, but not because of Mari as Henry had thought for so long. No, Mari had wanted all of it. She really had wanted that life with him. That knowledge only made the fact that it had all been ripped away from him even harder to take.

"I am not proficient with metaphors," Bowen said, "but I have a comparison to draw. When Daphne and I were seven years old, my parents sent her to a church camp for a week. It was the first time we had ever been separated for a long period, and I was very distressed. I demanded that her place at the dinner table be set every night, including food, so that she would not feel left out. My parents humored me for a while. 

"One night, though, some family friends came over, and we had dinner. But there were not enough places at the table, so one of them sat in Daphne's place. I was furious. I screamed and cried. My parents sent me to my room. All of that for someone who did not know, could not know what I was doing for them, and who did not benefit in the slightest from it. When she did return, and I told her what I had done, she just laughed."

"I get it," Henry said sourly, blinking his tears away. "There's a place at my table set for Mari and I should let somebody else sit there. That somebody being Jamie."

Bowen shook his head. "No. Your case is worse. It is not just one seat you are reserving for Mari, it is all of them. You have laid out an entire banquet for somebody who will never arrive. For as long as I have known you, Henry, you have been somebody with a great capacity to love. But you are spending it all on Mari, whom you cannot reach any longer. Even if she would want you to maintain this loyalty to her, which I doubt, she cannot show you any gratitude for it. There are many people who love you, who want to love you, but you will not allow them to. There is always the choice to run. But one day, you may very well find yourself running alone."

Henry stared at the table. Tears began to trace familiar lines down his cheeks.

"I don't want to live without her."

"I think it is time to accept that you can."

** *

Apparently Faraway hadn't gotten the memo that it was meant to be fall. Even though it was a few weeks into the school year and September was almost over, the days were still as warm and sunny as ever. The pathway up to Basil's front door was lined with vibrantly colored flowers Kel couldn't even begin to identify. It looked like a Disney movie.

Today was the day that Basil was finally going to get his fall flowers growing. Since he was still mostly wheelchair-bound and couldn't do the work himself, Aubrey had recruited Kel to help out, along with all the Hooligans, who still seemed to be doing their best to make things up to Basil. It was a good thing that everyone was mending fences, and Kel knew that, so he shoved aside the sick feeling he got in his stomach whenever he came here and walked around to the side of the house.

Everyone was already there, getting down and dirty. Kel scanned around for pink hair… there she was. As she always did whenever she was working in Basil's garden, Aubrey was wearing a simple black tank top and shorts, with her hair tied back in a ponytail. It looked like the dye was fading a bit again: the pink was lighter than usual. Kel's heart rate sped up as soon as he laid eyes on her. She was always pretty, but when she looked like this it was… sometimes hard to stay focused.

"Hi, Kel!" And there was the depressant to the stimulant. Kel turned to see Basil waving at him from his wheelchair, wearing his big floppy sunhat. He was seated in a commanding position where he could see everything that was going on in the garden.

Kel fought back the weird shivers that rushed through him whenever he saw Basil and waved back weakly. "Hey, Basil."

"Good to have you here, Kel!" Polly sang from where she was working on one of the planters. "There's some gloves and other equipment around the back you can grab. We still need to plant the pansies, so you can get started on those. The seeds should be round the back as well."

"Kim and Vance are doing the pansies," Basil corrected her.

"Huh?" Kim cut in, blinking at him. "I thought I was doing the… uh, the tasty asters. I'm pretty sure that's what I'm doing."

"What? N-No, the Tatarian asters are the ones still at the back. Did you really… agh!" Basil rolled over to Kim's planter to see what she was doing. Meanwhile, Aubrey had noticed Kel and was staring at him with her usual neutral expression, which could mean either that she was mad at him or teasing him. Or it could mean that she was just feeling neutral. Kel hadn't really mastered the art of reading Aubrey's moods yet.

He walked around the back of the house and found various gardening equipment scattered in heaps. What was he even meant to get, again? Gloves? A… trowel, maybe? Some seeds that may or may not have been tasty asters? He glanced around the side of the house, seeing Basil in animated conversation with Kim and Vance, but his eyes once again settled on Aubrey, who was busy digging out cavities in the soil for the seeds to sit in.

Maybe he could be a little indulgent. The two of them hadn't had much time to hang out alone this week, given how much time she was spending either with the Hooligans or at Basil's house. It was safe to say he'd gotten a little addicted to that 'alone time'.

"Hey, Aubrey, can you come help me with something?" Kel called. Aubrey looked at him and rolled her eyes with a knowing smile on her face, but got up and came over to him anyway. Neither Basil nor the Hooligans seemed to suspect a thing.

"Does big strong Kel need help carrying something?" she asked playfully once the two of them were safely out of sight behind the back of the house.

"Uh…"

Kel always got flustered whenever he had to initiate. It hadn't taken long for Aubrey to figure that out and use it against him.

Aubrey shrugged. "Well, it looks like you have everything under control back here. Unless you want to ask something, I should probably get back to the plants." She started to walk away. Kel squeaked at a very unmanly pitch and grabbed onto her arm. She turned back to him, one eyebrow raised expectantly."

"Can you, uh… kiss me? Please?"

"Hm. Like this?" Suddenly Aubrey's hands were on his chest, and she shoved him up against the back wall of the house. Before Kel knew what was going on, her lips were on his, her tongue was in his mouth, and he had gone straight to heaven. Her lips were a bit salty from sweat, and she smelled of dirt, but Kel wouldn't have it any other way. Her gloved hands came up to cup his cheeks, the rough material a little scratchy against the soft skin. Kel whined and held her hands in place with his own.

When they finally broke apart, Aubrey stayed close to him, still pinning him up against the wall. "That's enough for now," she decided, brushing a lock of his hair away from his face. "We should get back to the garden now. But maybe later. I, uh, missed doing that." That last sentence was said in a whisper, without making eye contact. Kel giggled like an idiot and planted a final kiss on her cheek before she stepped away from him, both of them red and puffing.

Even after a few weeks of doing this whenever they got a bit of time alone together, for Kel it hadn't lost any of its magic. Aubrey kissing him was always pure magic. But he hadn't asked her about where their relationship stood, and she hadn't brought it up either. Whether they were boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever wasn't really at the front of Kel's mind. As long as they were able to have some fun together every so often, he was content to be whatever Aubrey wanted him to be.

Aubrey turned to walk back to the garden, but stopped dead and went pale. It was only then that Kel noticed Charlene standing a few feet away.

Kel sucked in his breath and Aubrey let out a strangled gasp, but Charlene only smiled slightly – something Kel had only ever seen her do once or twice – and vanished back around the corner of the house. A flustered Aubrey followed after her within seconds, leaving a slightly dizzy Kel still leaning against the back wall.

It looked like their period of secrecy was now over. Oh well. Kel honestly wasn't too bothered by the Hooligans knowing that he and Aubrey were… whatever they were, but he knew Aubrey had her boss position to defend. Kel still had a weird kind of frenemy relationship with the Hooligans, and smooching the enemy was not the way to gain respect from your gang. That was her problem, though. Maybe Kel could even take the opportunity to embarrass her a bit. She was way too good at making him flustered, so it was about time he found a way to hit back.

What would Basil's reaction be? Kel frowned as his brain poured cold water over itself. Still, even though Basil had been back for weeks now, it always happened whenever he thought about anything Basil-related, no matter how happy he was beforehand. It was like a switch flicked in his mind. He'd placated himself before by reasoning that his weird intrusive thoughts about Basil would go away once they'd gotten used to each other's company again. But not only had the thoughts not gone away, Kel was also not at all used to Basil's company yet. Even talking about Basil made Kel feel uncomfortable, let alone talking to him. It was becoming increasingly difficult to conceal that discomfort from everyone. At some point, Basil would probably realize that he hadn't had a single one-on-one conversation with Kel since he'd gotten back.

He slapped his cheeks a bit and took some deep breaths, chiding himself to stop freaking out about Basil. Things would resolve themselves; all he had to do was bide his time until then. It'd be just like old times soon enough. In the meantime, he had to actually do some gardening.

Kel donned some gloves and eyed the seed packets. He… might have forgotten which ones he was supposed to be planting. Oh well. They were flowers. How hard could they be?

He grabbed a random packet and returned to the others, who were still hard at work. A feeling of deja vu washed over Kel as he spotted Basil directing everything from his wheelchair. Back before everything had happened, Hero and Mari had sometimes organized the group to help out Basil and his grandma with the garden. Basil's grandma had sat in her own wheelchair pretty much exactly where Basil was sitting now, barking orders in a voice that never seemed to get less forceful with age. The comparison made a faint smile appear on Kel's face. Basil wasn't quite as harsh a taskmaster as his grandma had been, but he was definitely way more assertive than normal.

"Angel, please be careful, you dropped some seeds!"

"That's enough water, Vance! Pansies need water, but you shouldn't drown them…"

"Mikhael, y-you're about to step on one of the goldenrods! Oh, The Maverick, sorry…"

Kel spotted Aubrey wielding Basil's big pair of garden shears. Her cheeks were still flushed and she was shooting occasional glances at Charlene, but she seemed like she was having a good time laying into the plants.

"Aubrey, that was a living branch!"

"Sorry, Basil. I'm no good at this."

Polly stood up from the planter she was working on. "I can do it, if you'd like. Basil's grandmother gave me a few tips on how to do this a while ago. Don't be discouraged, Aubrey. It's a lot trickier than it first seems!"

But Basil was already wheeling himself over to where Aubrey was standing, clearly a bit frustrated from not being able to participate himself. He held out his hand. "I-it's okay. Just let me do it. I think it would…"

He trailed off and went pale, seemingly only now realizing the significance of what he was asking. The last time he'd held those shears, it had been to maim Sunny and then plunge them into his own stomach and give himself wounds he'd nearly died from. Polly had started to walk over to them, but froze in shock as Aubrey placed the shears in Basil's hand. Kel's fists clenched involuntarily.

"It's okay," Aubrey said softly to Polly. "I'm right here. Nothing bad is going to happen."

Polly stopped walking and started chewing on one of her nails, but she didn't protest. Basil took a few deep breaths and started delicately pruning as Aubrey watched on, positioned close enough to him that she could grab the shears at a moment's notice. With each little twig and bud severed, a sick feeling welled up in Kel's stomach. Watching this felt very wrong.

Eventually, Basil got to the point where all the plants within easy reach had been trimmed to his satisfaction. He looked greedily at the flowers above him and began to stand up out of his chair before Aubrey or Polly noticed what he was about to do. He stretched up, up, towards the flowers…

…and something must have stretched too far, or in the wrong way, because he suddenly gasped and fell back again, the shears slipping from his grasp.

The shears fell and impaled themselves into the ground only a couple of inches from Aubrey's foot. Basil collapsed back into his chair, clutching his stomach. Kel sucked in his breath and ran forward, though Polly had already teleported to Basil in the blink of an eye.

"Alright, that's enough," she said in a wobbly voice, maneuvering Basil away from the fallen shears. "We are done with this for today. I'll finish it off tomorrow myself. Agh, I need to go get you some painkillers and check the wound. Aubrey, are you alright? Could you tell everyone that we're finished for the day?"

Aubrey, who was staring at the shears, took a moment to respond. "Uh… yeah. Come on guys, let's pack it in. We can go to the hangout spot or something."

Polly wheeled Basil away, muttering ferociously under her breath. With more than a few confused looks, the Hooligans hesitantly began to discard all of their gardening gear. Kel ran up to Aubrey, who managed to break her gaze away from the shears to stare into his eyes.

"Are you alright?" he asked shakily.

Aubrey responded by drawing him into a hug, right there in front of everyone. Kel blushed for a moment, seeing Mikhael's jaw drop in shock, before returning the hug. She was holding him way more tightly than usual. Any thoughts of embarrassment flew from Kel's mind. Right now, she needed him. He might not have been good at much else, but he could provide comfort. So he held her tightly as well, and pretended not to notice when he felt tears staining his shirt where Aubrey was resting her head.

***

Hero sat on a picnic blanket at the hangout spot, watching the tranquil waters of the lake sparkle in the bright sunlight. Today was a beautiful day for a picnic: a perfect treat for Mari, who'd been working so hard for her recital and her other extracurriculars. It was funny how someone could have so much time for everything except herself.

Come to think of it, when was the last time he'd even seen Mari? Hero tried to remember. It… it had been… when? It felt like a long time ago. But that couldn't have been right. They were boyfriend and girlfriend. They saw each other all the time. He just needed to remember.

What had they talked about, the last time they saw each other? The memories wouldn't come to him. What was wrong with him? He shouldn't have been forgetting these things. It… it must have been something about the recital. That was pretty much all she talked about for a while, about how she and Sunny were going to wow everyone. She would wax lyrical about how her little brother would finally gain the confidence he needed. All he needed to do was push himself a little. But that couldn't have been right either, because the recital was…

How long ago had the recital been?

Henry shuddered and looked inside the picnic basket, seeing all the nice hot food he'd cooked up at home and wrapped in foil for both of them to enjoy. He touched one of the foil wraps hesitantly, and gasped when he realized it had gone stone cold. Everything had gone cold.

How long had he been sitting here? Somehow he felt like he'd been waiting here for… a very long time.

Was she even coming?

Hero's breath steamed up in front of his face. It was suddenly icy cold, and a light snowfall fell around him. He stood up to look for the entrance to the hangout spot, wondering if Mari was about to come hurrying through, but it didn't look like there was any entrance at all. The forest had closed up around him. The snow began to fall harder.

He sat back down and shivered, unwrapping one of the foil packages. There was nothing inside.

"Mari, where are you?" he asked the trees.

There was no reply. The snow only fell harder.

Notes:

Somebody might learn to communicate one day :)

New chapter in one week!

Chapter 11: A Little Help

Summary:

Kel accidentally makes his thoughts heard. Henry makes his choice.

Notes:

1k hits! Thank you to everyone who hit.

"You can't put a plus four on a plus two, idiot!" Kim barked, picking the card up off the pile and throwing it back at Angel. "You can only put a plus two on a plus two! Pick up the damn cards."

"What!? That's not true. Whenever I play it with my sister, she always puts plus fours on plus twos."

"Then your sister is cheating! But we play honestly here." As Kim said that, she shifted slightly, causing her jacket to ride up slightly and expose several Uno cards that she had tucked into the waistband of her jeans. Aubrey, who was sitting next to her on the park bench, spotted them, narrowed her eyes, and then reached over and grabbed them all out. Then everything dissolved into shouting.

As cards flew everywhere, Kel sighed and set down his hand. It was a shame, too – he'd been doing pretty well that round. He'd had terrible hands in both the first and second attempts. Of course, the first time was deliberate, since Kim somehow knew a bunch of shuffling tricks and had dealt herself a full hand of wild cards and given everyone else bad hands. They'd gotten Vance to shuffle after that, but the second attempt had been derailed by Angel peeking at people's cards and loudly announcing whatever he saw.

A shrill whistle pierced the air, so loud that everyone immediately stopped shouting at each other to cover their ears. Kel winced, ears ringing, and looked over at Aubrey, who was the source of the noise. "You have one more chance to make this an actual game," she said, "or I'm going home. Stop screwing around."

There was a chorus of matters as everyone gathered up their cards and handed them back to Vance, who did not exactly look enthusiastic. "We've run out of taffy," he complained. "Can someone go get some more? We're still banned from Miss Candice's store."

"Kel's the only one who isn't banned," Kim said. "Kel, get your nerd ass up and go get me some candy."

"I don't have any money on me!" Kel protested, which was true, but he wouldn't have bought Kim candy even if he did have money. He'd learned the hard way that she paid people back as often as he did. Funnily enough, he'd actually tried to get his emergency $20 note out of the closet that morning after noticing he had nothing in his wallet, but he couldn't find it. That was weird. He always had an emergency $20 note in there as a matter of principle.

Kim scoffed. "No way you don't have any money on you! You probably do, like, millions of chores for your parents. I always used to see your brother washing their car and stuff."

"Kim, lay off," Aubrey snapped. Kim huffed but said nothing else – not even she was willing to defy a direct order from the boss. There were a few strange looks shared amongst the other Hooligans, though. They still hadn't fully gotten used to Kel not being the enemy anymore. Although, Kel reasoned, maybe it was more that they hadn't gotten fully used to Aubrey being on Kel's side. They hadn't told anyone about… whatever their relationship was, and Charlene had kept her mouth shut as well, but Aubrey had become noticeably friendlier towards him even in the presence of her friends. Plus they'd all seen her hug him. There was no way they didn't suspect something.

The thought made Kel smile a bit. Snappy, tough-as-nails Aubrey couldn't always keep up her act. Sometimes, when they were alone together, she got particularly soft, so much so that she'd blush fiercely whenever Kel brought it up afterwards. Not that he didn't like her rougher side as well. He liked getting pushed around a bit.

What's happening? Uno, that's right.

Kel tried to clear his mind of any wayward thoughts, though with Aubrey sitting right next to him it was a bit difficult. Mikhael was going on one of his monologues again, though Angel was the only one listening. Vance kept finding random cards scattered across the ground.

"Guys," Aubrey sighed, "it's just a card game. It's not that hard."

"You're so serious today," Kim replied. "You've been hanging around the nerd too much. Gotta lighten up a bit."

Since when was Kel the serious one? "Hey! I'm totally unserious!"

"I'll lighten up a bit once we're actually playing the game properly," Aubrey said before Kim could fire back. "Then I'll crush all of you."

"Oh, you're on," Kim declared.

Despite all the posturing, it was in fact Charlene who won that game. But at least they got through the whole thing without flipping the table. The whole ordeal had taken them most of the afternoon, and since Kim and Vance were at their mom's place that day they had to head off early. Curfew was no joke in their household. Aubrey told Kel once that if they were more than five minutes late their mom would start asking neighbors whether they'd run away from home. He couldn't figure out whether she was messing with him or not.

As the rest of the Hooligans prepared to go their separate ways, Aubrey came up to Kel. "I'm heading over to Basil's for the evening. Wanna walk there with me?"

"Sure, but I won't be able to stay," Kel replied. "Mom and Dad want me back home soon. They always get on my case whenever I have any homework for the weekend. That math assignment is killing me." Another half-truth. Kel found himself telling a lot of those whenever Basil came up. While it was true that Kel's parents wanted him home at a reasonable hour, they were very eager for him to patch things up with Basil and wouldn't complain if he stayed over there.

The problem was that being anywhere near Basil made Kel uncomfortable, even though he'd been back for more than a month now. Basil had definitely figured out that Kel wasn't 100% with him as well, which just made everything that much worse. He always deflated a bit when Kel was around, and whenever it was Kel's turn to help Basil get up or down stairs the silence between them was agonizingly painful. It hurt Kel to see Basil like that, knowing that he was the one causing it. But he couldn't bring himself to do anything about it.

That was a problem for another day, though. For now, he was having a nice late afternoon walk with Aubrey and feeling good about the world.

As they crossed the road in front of the park, Kim, Vance and Charlene went one way while Mikhael and Angel went the other. Angel, who lived at the end of Basil's street, would usually accompany them on the way to Basil's place, but it seemed like he'd be 'studying with his master' that evening (whatever that meant), so the two of them continued on alone. As always happened when the two of them were alone, Kel started to get some ideas.

He watched until the other Hooligans had vanished from sight, then turned back to Aubrey, who looked at him with undisguised hunger. She was, if anything, even more eager to mash faces than he was. They were just about to get to it when they both heard wheezing breaths coming from further down the road. Aubrey squinted in the direction of the noise in annoyance before going pale. "Ah, shit," she muttered, and sprinted off. Kel was left with no choice but to follow.

The source of the noise became clear pretty quickly: it was Basil, sitting against one of the trees lining the road and sweating bullets. "What are you doing out here alone?" Aubrey demanded. "You don't even have your wheelchair… wait, did you walk here?"

"I'm… okay…" Basil protested in between deep breaths. "Just… let me… catch my breath…"

"You're gonna hurt yourself again if you keep walking around," Aubrey said. "Where are you even going?"

"Fix-It. Want to buy… seeds… and some flowers. For Polly. To say thank you."

Aubrey sucked in her breath. "You were gonna try and walk all the way to Fix-It? Did you switch brains with Kel? Like, I get it, the chair sucks, but if you pull something in your stomach again you're gonna be spending a whole lot longer sitting in it. Polly doesn't know you're gone, does she? There's no way she would have let you do that. We should take you back…"

"NO!" Basil shouted, causing both Kel and Aubrey to step back on instinct. "Please. I need this. Can… can you help me? Please? I want… I need this. Just take me to Fix-It and back. I have the money. Please."

Aubrey actually looked like she was considering it, so Kel stepped in with what he considered the dealbreaker. "Dude, Polly is going to kill us if we do this."

"She'll kill me," Basil replied with a shaky smile. "She likes you. I'll just tell her that I told you that she let me do this. I'll figure it out. Just… please. I've been stuck like this for so long."

"Don't hurt yourself just to prove a point to us," Aubrey said quietly. Basil went a little pale at that, but quickly recovered and set his lips in a firm line.

"I'm going to Fix-It. Either you can help me, or I'll walk there myself. And if you try to carry me back home, I'll… ah… I'll kick you."

That one even got a chuckle out of Kel. Aubrey sighed and rolled her eyes, though Kel could tell from her body language that she was impressed. "Fine then," she said. "We'll help you. Even if Polly kills us for it. Might be a bit difficult to do this without messing with your stomach, though. We can't support you with our shoulders."

"I'll just grab your waists," Basil offered, going a little red as he said it. "Ah, if that's weird, you don't have to. We can… we can figure something else out."

Before Kel had a chance to object, Aubrey carefully helped Basil to his feet. For once, Kel seriously considered asking to skip out on this, even though he knew Aubrey would get pissed at him if he did. Having another good day marred by Basil was getting a little tiring.

Wait, did he actually just think that?

While Aubrey stood on Basil's right and allowed him to grip her waist, Kel took up position on Basil's left. As Basil's left arm wrapped around his back and gripped his waist, every muscle in Kel's stomach clenched at the same time. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to push down the urge to shove Basil off him, but Aubrey and Basil started moving before he could compose himself. All he could do was follow.

It was slow going. Even with the extra support, Basil couldn't move very quickly and needed to take breaks often. Crossing the road to the park was nervy, especially when Basil stumbled and nearly brought all three of them to the ground. They got a few weird looks from people walking by. But eventually they made it through the plaza and to Fix-It, where they had to turn and shuffle sideways through the narrow aisles while the guy at the counter stared at them like they were insane. Which was fair. It probably looked really weird.

Once they got outside to the gardening section, Basil asked them to let go and began maneuvering himself around the area, supporting himself on whatever raised surfaces happened to be around him. Kel could still feel the phantom grip on his waist, and it wasn't a good feeling like Aubrey sometimes left him when she'd been touching him. It felt cold and uncomfortable. He discreetly rubbed the area with his shirt, trying to get rid of the weird feeling.

"What are you looking for, Basil?" Aubrey asked.

"Bluebells," Basil answered. "They're perennial, so they should be here somewhere. They look like… well, blue bells. They symbolize gratefulness, so I thought it would be a good present for Polly."

"Those ones over there?" Aubrey suggested, pointing to a planter in the opposite corner to where Basil was standing. Basil looked over to where she was pointing and groaned.

Aubrey laughed. "Don't sweat it, flower boy. Just give me the money and I'll go buy it for you." Though he grumbled a little bit, Basil caved and handed over the cash. Aubrey set off to grab the flowers and pay for them, leaving Kel and Basil alone together. Kel busied himself with looking at the flowers, hoping Basil wouldn't say anything.

"Kel?" Ah, damn it. Kel put on his best 'everything is okay' face and looked over at Basil, who was staring at him with sorrowful eyes. Apparently the mask didn't work, since Basil visibly deflated after a few seconds of eye contact.

"I'm sorry, Kel," he murmured in a voice almost too quiet to hear.

"That's not good enough," Kel said, jolting as he realized he'd actually said that and not just thought it. Basil swallowed and turned away from him, his face going red. His hands white-knuckled the table he was leaning on.

Immediately, Kel felt like a complete piece of shit. Where had that even come from? Why was he ruining everything? Why couldn't he just be happy for his friend? Should he… should he apologize to Basil? Would that just make it worse?

"Basil, I…" he began hesitantly, but was interrupted by Aubrey's return.

"Alright, boys. Let's get going. If we're lucky, we'll be able to get you back home before Polly rips you limb from limb."

Basil gave her a queasy, obviously fake smile. Aubrey's gaze flickered between the two of them before she went to Basil's side, allowing him to grab onto her for support. Kel resumed his position on Basil's other side. He noticed that Basil was a lot more hesitant to touch him now, and he was definitely leaning into Aubrey.

As it turned out, they were only able to make it out to the parking lot before the reaper came for them. Polly's little blue sedan came squealing into the lot at a much more dangerous speed than Kel would ever have thought possible from her, and came to a screeching halt directly in front of them. Polly leapt out of the car and gave the three of them a murderous stare.

"Get in," she barked at Basil, with none of her usual warmth in her voice. "If you pull something like this again, I'll lock you in your room, so help me God."

"See you guys later, hopefully," Basil said as he opened the passenger side door and got into the car. Aubrey smirked and gave him a little wave.

"I'm disappointed in you two," Polly snapped. "Basil could have seriously hurt himself! I thought you were more responsible than that."

"We got you some flowers," Basil said from inside the car. Aubrey handed Polly the bouquet. Her gaze softened for a moment, before she huffed angrily and returned to her cold stare.

"Whatever. We'll talk about this later. We're going home now. Have a… good evening, you two." And just like that, they were gone, leaving nothing but tire marks on the asphalt to indicate that they had ever been there.

Aubrey started snickering. "Man, she has bite, I'll give her that. Twelve year old me would have been scared shitless."

Kel didn't feel like laughing.

***

It was the day of the class Henry and Jamie had together. Unsurprisingly, Jamie didn't show up. In one sense, Henry was glad for that, since there was no way he'd have been able to say what he wanted to say in that particular setting. But his absence left a gaping hole. Henry didn't realize how much he'd needed those moments of levity and comfort until they were no longer there. There was nothing to shield him against the relentless force of his mind now. He just went through the motions of the class, trying not to let any of his misery show on his face. Someone struck up a conversation with him. Henry put on a charming smile, engaged in some small talk, and walked away from it not even remembering the name of the person he'd been talking to.

After class he headed straight back to the dorms, not even bothering to stop somewhere for lunch as he usually did. The room was empty, since Bowen still had classes. Not that the room felt particularly un-empty when Bowen was in it. The two had barely spoken a word to each other since the night Jamie had stormed out. All he got from Bowen was stares of undisguised concern. He couldn't deal with that right now.

He flopped onto his bed without even taking his shoes off and rubbed his eyes. It felt like there were lead weights on every limb of his body. With difficulty, he managed to turn his head to look at the little porcelain cat sitting on his side table, poking its tongue out at him in a way that was obviously meant to be endearing but had now become agonizing.

"What am I doing?" he asked the cat. It did not reply.

Ever since he'd first met Mari, she had always been the one he'd gone to whenever he had a hard decision to make in his life. This continued after she died, though it played out purely in Henry's head. She'd always tilt her head to the side, hum playfully, and give him some advice in her typical Mari style, chipper and a bit teasing. It was advice he'd invariably take.

He'd searched for Mari's guidance ever since his fight with Jamie, to no avail. His dreams were still as nightmarish as ever, leaving him gasping for breath as he woke up, but Mari had not appeared even once. Her absence was terrifying. He'd become addicted to those little glimpses of Mari he got in his head, and the possibility that they might have ended was too terrible to contemplate.

All he had, then, was the photo in his wallet – the one he'd shown to Jamie at the fast food place. Sometimes he spent half an hour just lying in his bed and staring at it, hoping against all reason and logic that Mari would give him some message. Though he was surrounded by memories and remnants of Mari, as he had been since the day she died, he had never felt so distant from her.

What would she want him to say to Jamie?

Maybe if he just confronted him now, the words would come to him. Slowly and uncertainly, he lifted himself out of bed and trudged over to the front door. He maneuvered his way through quiet hallways, down two floors and a little to the left, until he found Jamie's door.

It was kind of funny, really. The only times he'd ever come here were to apologize. A strained grin crossed his face for a moment before vanishing. He knocked on the door.

It was a few moments before the door opened, and it was not Jamie but Omar again who stood on the far side. His eyes narrowed a bit as soon as he realized who it was. "Jamie is not here right now. But you should come in." He stepped aside and held the door for him. With no other choice, Henry stepped inside.

The room was, of course, nearly identical to his own. A few things were put in different places, and it smelled a bit different, but otherwise it was the same. Henry found his eyes drawn to the closed door that led to the bedroom. Suddenly he felt an urge to go in. He'd never seen that intimate part of Jamie's life before, and he realized that he really, really wanted to.

But he couldn't right now. Instead, he sat himself down at the dining table as Omar took the seat across from him and laced his hands together atop the table. He did not look happy.

"Did Jamie tell you about what happened?" Henry asked.

"No. Which is why I'm so concerned, because he always talks about you. Henry did this, Henry did that, Henry said this funny thing to me the other day. I know a weird amount of things about you. Probably more than you think. So whatever you did must have really hit him hard. And I'd like to know what it was. He's become a good friend of mine in the time I've known him, and I don't like seeing him like this."

Henry swallowed. "He likes me. Uh… romantically."

"Yes."

"I, uh…"

Henry trailed off. Omar raised an expectant eyebrow at him.

"...I didn't tell him some important things about me, and he… he feels like that meant I didn't care about him. Or didn't trust him. And I'm not really sure about what I feel about him. I mean, he's a really sweet guy, I'm not denying that."

"But you led him on?"

Henry sighed and looked down at the table. "Yeah, I did. But I want to make things right."

"Make things right how?"

Henry said nothing, because he had no answer to that. When Omar figured out he wasn't going to say anything, he huffed in disgust and looked skyward. "Well, I do know where he is. He left about an hour ago and told me he was going down to one of the chem labs to help out with some extra-curricular thing he's doing. He said he'd be back in a few hours, so you'll probably have to wait there for a while. While you're waiting, maybe you can figure out whatever it is you need to figure out."

Henry muttered a quiet thanks and stood up to leave. Before he left though, Omar called out to him once again.

"One more thing. Next time, figure out what you want before it gets to this point. I haven't yet met anyone who likes being played with."

Henry's face burned a little as he stepped back out into the hallway. Where to now? If what Omar had said was true, he'd have to wait potentially hours outside the chem building to be able to talk to Jamie. Whenever he pondered what he would actually say, though, his brain split into a kaleidoscope of thoughts. Maybe… maybe going back to his bed was a better choice. There was comfort in what he had always known. Sure, he might spend some time wondering about what might have been. But at least he would keep his promise.

Was it really so wrong to keep a promise?

Mari, what do I do?

His legs took him back to his room. When he opened the door, though, he found that Bowen had returned and was pacing anxiously around the living room. As soon as Bowen saw him, he stopped circling and walked up to him.

"Did you speak to Jamie?" he asked urgently.

At that point it all became too much for Henry. The dam burst behind his eyes as he fell into the arms of a very startled Bowen, clutching him like a buoy in a storm-tossed sea. "I d-don't know what to do," he sobbed. "I k-keep trying to ask her, but… she won't say anything!"

After a moment, Bowen returned the hug. Henry became dimly aware of much more solid Bowen was than him despite the fact he was about half a head shorter. It felt like Bowen could pick him up easily. Had he always been this thin, this frail? He'd never been fit, but he remembered that once upon a time he'd felt a bit more whole than this.

"Whatever you decide," Bowen murmured to him, "you must speak to him. You cannot just vanish. But I think you know what the right decision is. Jamie is good for you. He has been good for me. It is obvious that he cares a lot about you, and that you care a lot about him."

"A-and Mari?"

"Mari is somewhere that, God willing, none of us will see for a very long time. Let her rest, Henry. Please."

With a shuddering breath, Henry disentangled himself from Bowen, who returned to his anxious pose of grabbing one arm with the other. A weird sense of pride surged through Henry as he looked at his friend. Back in the day, Bowen had been almost silent, leaving his sister to do the speaking for the both of them. He'd been Sunny-like in his stoicism, never betraying an inch of emotion on a face that might as well have been carved from rock. But he'd grown, even while Henry had not. Henry could not have asked for a better friend.

"I'll talk to him," Henry said.

Bowen nodded slightly. "If you return to our room and I am not here, it is because I will be in the communal kitchen baking a cake."

Despite everything, Henry smiled. Some things about Bowen hadn't changed a bit. "A cake?"

"Yes. It is one of the weaker points of my baking repertoire. But that is not so important right now. Whatever you decide to do, Henry, please remember that I will be here to help you to the best of my ability. Even if I may personally disapprove."

Another smile. "Thanks, Bowen. I appreciate it. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you, you know?"

Bowen's only answer to that was a blush. Before Henry could think up any more reasons to hesitate, he left the room again. One foot in front of the other, he took himself where he needed to go.

The walk down to the chem labs was cold, and the wait was even colder. Since anyone with a lick of sense was inside, Henry had plenty of choices for where to sit. He picked a lonely little bench tucked up against the outside wall of the chemistry building, and sat and watched the sun go down. As the evening crept up on him, the wind picked up, the cold tearing right through Henry's sweater. But he gritted his teeth and stayed seated, jamming his hands into his pockets.

Lights flickered on, illuminating the walkways around him. The inside of the building was awash in bright yellow. It looked like it was probably warm in there. But Henry stayed seated.

It was only once the purple twilight had faded to an inky black that the doors to the chemistry building finally swung open. A small crowd of people exited, chattering amongst themselves and swearing as they felt the sudden cold. As random dark figures peeled off from the group and dashed off into the night, presumably eager to get back to the warmth of the dorms, Henry scanned the crowd frantically for Jamie. If he'd waited this long only to miss him, he'd probably…

…there, jamming his beautiful mess of brown curls into a beanie and laughing with some other students. Henry's heart sped up. He looked so pretty like that, with his cheeks flushed red from the cold and giggling.

Focus.

Jamie said his goodbyes to his friends and jogged off in Henry's direction, hands tucked under his armpits. Henry stood up from the bench and moved into the light. Jamie stopped dead, and his eyes widened in shock. The two just stared at each other for a while. The ends of Jamie's hair, trailing out of his beanie, whipped around in the wind. Henry didn't even want to know what his hair looked like.

"You're freezing," Jamie said cautiously. "Come inside. They're not going to lock the doors for another half an hour."

The two of them walked back into the chemistry building, and immediately a wave of warm air washed over them. Henry sighed audibly in relief, drawing a brief chuckle out of Jamie next to him. "You're insane. How long were you waiting out there for?" His voice echoed strangely in the empty lobby.

Henry scratched the back of his neck. "Uh… a while?"

The conversation died there as they returned to staring at each other. Jamie looked apprehensive, though Henry couldn't tell exactly why. Words kept forming on his lips and dissolving before he could speak them.

Before Henry could muster up anything to say, Jamie went first. "I'm really sorry for what I said about Mari. About how you were only living for her. That… that was presumptuous of me. You don't owe me anything, and I don't know how it feels to lose a partner like that. I'm sorry. I was just frustrated and angry, and it kind of slipped out of me without thinking…"

As he talked, Jamie was wringing his hands in a way that reminded Henry uncannily of Basil. He reached out and held Jamie's wrists. "No. You shouldn't be the one apologizing. I was the one in the wrong."

Jamie swallowed and gazed up at him with big, shining eyes.

"I've been selfish," Henry continued. "I know how you feel about me, and I've been taking advantage of that to give myself some comfort. You were right that I've been keeping you away. Part of the reason I didn't tell you about my name was because I don't feel like that person anymore. But part of it was because I didn't want you to know. Because I didn't want to let you take Mari's place."

Jamie's jaw was quivering again. "Do you… do you care about me, Henry?"

The words flowed out of him without hesitation. "Yes. Yes, I do. Being with you makes me feel better than I've felt in such a long time, and I'm always comfortable talking to you. I love your smile and your sense of humor. You're smart and you can do so many things. You can paint, and play chess and destroy me at it, but I never feel bad when you do, because it's you . I love being around you. I loved it when you took me to see your mom, and that fast food place you always used to go to. I want to know you. And I'm ready to let you get to know me as well. I wasn't before. But I am now."

It was obvious that Jamie so desperately wanted to believe what he was hearing, and only a tiny bit of logic was holding him back. "A-and Mari?" he asked, the plea clear in his eyes.

"Mari was special," Henry said. "She was everything to me. But she isn't here anymore. And… and I know, and some part of me has always known, that she would have wanted me to move on. She would want me to be happy, even if it was with someone else. I will always love her. But that doesn't mean I can't love other people as well."

Again the two of them stood silently for a few moments, staring into each others' eyes in the deserted lobby. Henry's heart sounded like a train going at full pelt, and Jamie was breathing hard, his mouth hanging open slightly.

"What now?" Jamie asked.

Once more, Henry delved deep within his mind to find the answer to that. He tried to summon an image of Mari. He tried to find her within himself, so that she could give him her blessing, or tell him anything at all. But he found nothing. The landscape of his mind was deserted. It was only him. It had only ever been him.

What did he want?

He pulled Jamie toward him. Jamie grunted as he thudded into Henry's chest, but barely had any more time to react before Henry was kissing him. His restraints suddenly dissolving, Henry ripped off Jamie's beanie, threw it to the floor beside them, and started running a hand through that tangled mess of hair that was somehow even worse than his own. Jamie's arms went up and around the back of Henry's neck. He was literally bending over backwards to be able to reach Henry properly. Henry pushed over him a little more, forcing him to lean back more to reach him, and looped one arm around his back to secure him in place. He was rewarded with a little moan that lit a fire in his belly.

It felt better than he could have ever possibly imagined.

They drew away at the same time, gasping for breath, though neither of them broke the tight grip they had on each other. Jamie was looking at him like he was the only thing in the world, and right now Henry had never been so sure of what he wanted. Every part of his body was screaming it at maximum volume.

"Come back with me," he croaked. "Stay the night."

The gravelly tone made Jamie shiver. "Bowen?"

"Not there. Making cake. Or something."

Jamie nodded, so shy in that moment that you would never have guessed that this was the same person who could make Henry blush at the slightest provocation.

"Okay."

***

Cakes, for Bowen, presented a unique problem. Bread was his lifeblood. While one could always tell immediately whether a loaf of bread had been baked with skill and care or not, bread was subtle and understated. It did not insist upon itself. It simply existed, and invited one to see for oneself. Cake, on the other hand, was gaudy and hedonistic. Everything about cake demanded that one look at it, observe it in all its glory. It was elaborate on the outside but simple within. Bowen had always felt that there was something insecure about cake, something that demanded to be so finely crafted yet was, at its core, a very simple mix of ingredients.

Bowen often saw himself in the bread he baked. He could not say the same for his cakes. Perhaps that was why they had never been as good as he would have liked. But a good baker could not limit themselves to one type of baked good. The world was vast and full of infinite variety, and to ignore it was folly. Also, cakes sold very well at the bakery. His father liked how he could get away with charging exorbitant amounts of money for them.

This practice cake was… passable. The cake itself was a little dry, and the top had cracked slightly, but a child would certainly find it acceptable for their birthday party. It would not win any awards, but everyone started somewhere.

He hadn't really considered who would actually eat this cake. Hero didn't seem like the type to eat large amounts of cake. Jamie, maybe… if they were still friends after all of this. Bowen hadn't contacted him to check if he was willing to continue their Saturday gym sessions. He had come to enjoy those a lot. If all else failed, he supposed he could just go around giving out free slices to people. His baking was already quite popular with the others on their floor.

But he earnestly hoped that Hero would make the right choice. He needed Jamie – probably more than Jamie needed him, to be frank. Bowen had faith. Hero could be stubborn, but he'd always had a good head on his shoulders.

Now it was time for the final step: a swirling pattern of whipped cream atop the cake. Bowen held the piping bag over the cake and flinched slightly as the movement exposed part of the tattoo on his upper arm. Despite Jamie's best efforts, he couldn't help but feel uncomfortable whenever he saw it. He often found himself staring at it in the shower for a very long time, in a similar way to how one's tongue obsessively explored the new strangeness of a lost tooth.

Did he like it? He didn't really know. But his parents certainly wouldn't. In many of his daily calls with Daphne, she had assured him that everything would turn out alright, and that the Lord would not judge him harshly for what he had done. Sometimes he doubted that.

Bowen exiled that thought from his mind and began to pipe the cream out carefully. Unfortunately, the piping bag had quite a thin opening, and the decorative pattern wasn't quite achieving the look he was going for. Tentatively, he squeezed the bag a bit harder.

Hubris turned to nemesis. The bag blew open with a loud pop, spattering Bowen, the cake and the countertop with copious amounts of whipped cream. He stood in silence for a moment, observing the disaster in muted shock, before wiping the cream off his face with one hand. "Ohoooo," he mumbled to himself.

Oh, this would be a hassle to clean up.

Notes:

As you can tell, I have a very mature sense of humour. Hopefully the cake was nice :)

Sorry, Bowen. You'll get some more POVs later.

New chapter in one week!

Chapter 12: Good Morning

Summary:

Kel has a bad day. Henry has a good one.

From the moment Kel rolled out of bed that morning, he knew it was going to be a bad day. He was way, way more irritable than usual. When the toaster burned his toast, he almost yelled at it before realizing his mother was in the next room and would probably kill him if he did. To top it all off, the school bus was super late again, and Kel spent about fifteen minutes bouncing around at the bus stop trying to work off some of his nervous energy.

It was a weird feeling. Kel didn't normally have bad days. He took each day as it came and tried to make the best out of it. Sunny, on the other hand… there was a guy who had bad days. He went to the same bus stop as Kel and Hero, so they'd always be the first to know. The usual tell was that he'd stare at the ground angrily and not talk to anyone, which would at least be kind of funny if his bad mood wouldn't also put Mari in a bad mood, which then would put Hero in a bad mood…

Why was he thinking about Sunny? That was not a train of thought that would help his mood. Kel found that more and more often these days his mind would run away from him. Aubrey liked to joke sometimes that he never learned to think very hard, but lately he'd been way too good at it. It almost made him wish he was as dumb as everyone thought he was, because then he wouldn't be having any of these problems. Almost.

As the bus pulled up to the school gates, Kel immediately spotted Aubrey and Basil waiting outside for him, as they did every day. It was a weird ritual in that only one of the three people involved actually enjoyed it. Kel liked seeing Aubrey, obviously, but Basil… well, the less said about that, the better. He always looked so deflated when Kel was around. It was a miracle Aubrey hadn't noticed how the two of them never interacted with each other unless they absolutely had to.

At least Kel didn't have to carry him up and down stairs anymore, since he'd gotten out of his wheelchair about a week ago. Stairs still required some help, and he shuffled around like an old man whenever he had to carry anything around, but he seemed a lot happier for it. At least until he spotted Kel. He always looked miserable around Kel.

As he walked up to them, Aubrey stepped forward, gave him a pinch and a punch, and grinned at him. Kel frowned. Was he missing something?

"It's the first of the month," Aubrey said with an exasperated sigh.

"Oh. Right."

"What do you mean, 'oh right'? It was Halloween yesterday. Dude, your birthday is in, like, ten days. Usually you'd be counting down the hours."

Oh, right. How had he forgotten that? He shrugged. "I don't know. Guess I've had my mind on other things. Maybe I'm more mature now."

Aubrey snorted and poked him. Kel smiled, but it faded when he felt Basil staring at him from off to the side. It was an unmistakable feeling that left his hackles standing up. He swallowed and tried his best not to show any outward signs of discomfort. Why couldn't his brain just work with him for once? He didn't hate Basil. He just… needed a bit of breathing room. Still. After two months.

"Come on," Aubrey said. "Class starts in five minutes. One of these days you need to tell the bus driver to step on the gas."

The three of them split there. Aubrey and Basil, whose lockers were quite close to each other, went off in one direction while Kel went in another. As he stood and watched the two of them walk away, chatting to each other, a sudden surge of resentment rushed through him. Basil looked actually happy. So did Aubrey. And it didn't feel good. Kel ground his teeth and turned away.

Irritation upon irritation piled up on him as the day went on. He'd forgotten about an assignment he was meant to turn in that day and got shouted at by the teacher. He heard from one of his basketball friends that the ancient coach, who hated everyone but particularly Kel for some reason, was actually staying on for another year despite the fact that everyone thought he was going to retire, meaning that it was going to be a lot harder to get into the team this year than he thought. Lunch was terrible, and Kim dragged him over to the Hooligans' table about three minutes in. Their conversation was usually fine (and could be pretty entertaining sometimes), but with how his day had been going it just made him want to puncture his eardrums. The fact that Basil was there and enjoying himself didn't improve things either.

Plus, Aubrey spent so much time talking to Basil and not to Kel. What was that about? Sometimes it felt like Aubrey barely interacted with him outside of their makeout sessions. Were they even actually a thing? He'd never asked, and Aubrey had never said anything. Was it just a release for her?

Something ugly was rearing up inside him, and he hated it.

He managed to make it to the end of the school day without snapping at anyone, though he got close a couple of times. As the final bell rang, he picked up his bag and dashed at full pelt out of the classroom, only to screech to a halt as he remembered that he was meant to be hanging out with Aubrey that afternoon. It occurred to him that he actually really did not want to do that right now. He wanted to go home and preferably sleep for a few days straight until whatever was happening passed on its own. But he couldn't do that. This was Aubrey! Even if he dared to ditch her, which he absolutely did not because she'd probably beat him up, she always made him feel better. Maybe this was what he needed to get something good out of this miserable day.

Kel slowed his pace so that, by the time he got to the school gates, Basil and Polly had already gone. Aubrey was leaning against the gate when he arrived. When she saw him, she gave him a smile. So she was in a good mood, then. That just confirmed to Kel that he couldn't do anything stupid to bring the mood down like telling her about the weird stuff he was feeling. He wasn't the type of guy who did that. If everyone else was happy, he was happy too.

"Man, you look beat," Aubrey said. "Rough day? Mikhael said you got yelled at."

Kel scowled. Of course the one class he shared with that idiot would be the one where he made a fool of himself. "Yeah. It happens. Not the first time."

"Heh, tell me about it. I usually yell back, though. Anyway, let's get going. Plans are happening."

They fell into step with each other as they walked off towards the park, which was their usual after-school destination. "Plans?" Kel asked.

"Yep, plans. I was talking to Kim in Biology. Apparently there's this new paintball place that opened downtown. It's a bit pricey, but Vance's birthday was a few days ago and he got a bunch of money from both his parents. His mom got kinda mad about that, actually, since she knows his dad doesn't have that kind of cash to throw around, but… anyway, that's not important. Point is, the money is there, and Kim will 'persuade' Vance to use it on some cool ass paintball. We'll bring the whole gang along. Basil too."

Basil. Basil, Basil, Basil. Everything had to involve him now, didn't it? The ugly thing inside him was knocking at the door. It wanted to come out. He was so focused on pushing it back down that he didn't even notice that Aubrey had stopped walking. He turned around to find her eyeing him suspiciously.

"Okay, that's enough," she said. "What the hell is up with you? I've been letting this slide for way too long now. You've been way grumpier than usual recently. I mentioned this to Basil, actually, and he basically just stuttered at me for two whole minutes and ran away, so something is definitely going on."

The ugly thing really wanted to come out. It really, really wanted to come out. And Kel's will to keep it down was waning. Would it really be so bad to just… say what he really thought? Because he did have thoughts, despite what Aubrey and everyone else seemed to think.

Aubrey narrowed her eyes. "This is about Basil, isn't it? Now that I think about it, I don't remember the last time you two actually had a conversation. You barely even look at each other. I thought we went over this already, Kel."

The pressure was building inside him. It was going to come out soon. He kind of wanted it to.

"Fucking talk to me, Kel!" Aubrey shouted.

The dam burst.

"Fine. Okay then. I'll talk. How the hell can you stand being in the same room as him? He hanged Mari. With his own two hands. And he wanted to do it, because he didn't want Sunny to leave or whatever. That's not normal. He is not normal."

"He's not normal?" Aubrey echoed. "No, he's not. He hasn't had a good life. His parents literally abandoned him. When I first started talking to him, I was his only friend. He used to spend all day at school just sitting in a corner staring at the grass. He's always been terrified of being alone. I mean, is it so hard to believe that he did something really bad because he thought he was going to lose the only person who actually understood what the fuck was going on in his head?"

"If he was so afraid of losing Sunny, then why did he stab him? Sunny could have died! Right as we were starting to all become friends again, Basil almost stole it from us. Would you cut the eye out of someone you loved? I sure wouldn't."

"He wasn't in his right mind, Kel! Sunny was moving away, and he freaked out. How hard is that to understand? Do you think I haven't talked to him about this before? We're basically living in the same house now, for fuck's sake. I wouldn't do that if I thought he could be some kind of cold-blooded psychopath. Life dealt him a bad hand, okay? Same as me. He's working through it. He wants to be better."

"Oh, come on. He literally framed Mari's death as a suicide. Why do you never mention that part? You keep saying it's not his fault and things were bad for him, but most people who have bad parents or whatever don't end up doing something like that. Good people don't do that, Aubrey. How can him being lonely mean it's suddenly okay? She was like a sister to you!"

Aubrey froze for a moment, the blood draining from her face. Then her jaw and fists clenched at the same time. She spoke through gritted teeth. "She was like a sister to me, huh? The fucking brick reckons Mari was like a sister to me? Well, you know what? You're right. She was. And you wouldn't understand that one bit, asshole. You can have a tantrum about Basil. Whatever. But why the fuck are you bringing me into this? Go whine at him."

"Maybe it's because I'm a brick. Just some clueless idiot who doesn't know how anything works. Isn't that right? Like, when I have a quota of maybe five thoughts a day, you can't really blame me if one of them is wrong, right? Oh, it's just poor Kel, trying to understand things that are too complicated for him again. Sad. Maybe his brother should teach him something."

Aubrey scoffed at him. "I thought this was about Basil. I didn't realize you were gonna throw all your insecurities out there like that. Poor you. You have parents who love you and a brother who always helps you with everything. I don't think anybody has ever had it as hard as you. When did you become such a self-pitying loser?"

Some part of Kel's mind dimly wondered what he was doing. But that wasn't the part that was in control right now. "I don't know. But I never know anything, right? I'm not here because I have a brain. You kiss me and mess around with me and whatever because I look nice, not because I could actually be good enough for you."

Aubrey's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head. She let out a choked noise. "You… you fucking…"

Tears appeared in her eyes, and she tried unsuccessfully to blink them away. That only made her angrier. She stepped in close to him and held one of her fists up to his face. "I really, really want to hit you right now," she spat. The look in her eyes reminded Kel of the day he and Sunny confronted her in the church. Seeing that fury directed at him had made him angry in return, but also despairing. In that moment, he had genuinely thought they might never speak to each other again. Now that he was seeing it again, the righteous anger boiling out of him was beginning to be replaced with something sadder.

He began to tear up as well, and his voice started to crack. "Yeah? Well do it, then. I can be a punching bag as well as kissing practice. That's fine. Maybe if you hit me hard enough I'll stop thinking at all, and then I won't be a problem for you anymore. Then you can go and be best friends with Basil. He did literally hang the corpse of someone we loved, but I guess I'm just too dumb to understand how that's actually fine. You thought it was okay to bully him for years over the photo album, but I guess scribbling over some photos is way worse than what he actually did."

The fist in front of his face drew back, ready to land a hit on him. Aubrey's face was red as a tomato, and every blood vessel in her neck was clearly outlined. Her arm was trembling with how hard her fist was clenched. Instead of swinging, though, she lowered her arm and let out a guttural scream into her hands. Then she shoved past Kel and ran off, her pink hair flying wildly behind her as she sprinted into the distance.

Kel stood still, breathing as if he'd just run a mile. Even though he was crying, he felt elated. In that moment, with all that pressure exploding out of him, he felt better than he had in a long while. That feeling lasted all of five seconds before fading into nothing.

"What did I just do?" he whispered to himself. He looked around and remembered that he was standing on a public street. They'd had that whole argument out in the open, and he'd said everything . If anyone had listened to what they were saying…

He could have doomed Basil. And now that the ugly thing had left, there was nothing inside him to tell him that was a good thing. Because it wasn't a good thing. That had never been what he'd wanted.

Now that he was actually able to consider it with a calm mind, he began to realize how deep of a hole he'd dug for himself. In the heat of the moment he'd fervently believed that everything he said was true. But it wasn't really, was it? He'd seen the way Aubrey looked at him when they were alone together, the two of them staring into each others' eyes like they were the only people on Earth. He'd heard the words she whispered in his ear sometimes when they were at their most intimate, things she'd never dare to say around anyone else. She wasn't just using him for her own enjoyment. He knew that. But he'd said it anyway.

And after all that vile filth came out of his mouth, the realization he was left with was that he didn't hate Basil. With all the pent-up anger and resentment gone, he was left with… well, he didn't know exactly, but it wasn't hate. Basil was his friend. He'd done something terrible, yes, but Kel still cared about him. He didn't know why he'd needed to do that to realize it.

Now that all of that was out of him, he felt strangely empty. Was this what being in shock felt like? Rationally he knew that the reality of what he'd just done would crash down on him at some point, but at that moment he couldn't bring himself to feel anything. He was emotionally winded, still catching his breath. He decided to just walk home. Maybe he'd have a nap or something.

When he stepped through the front door of his house, the first thing he saw was his mom standing by the telephone, punching in the number that Kel had learned by heart despite the fact he'd never actually rung it. At that point, though, he was too exhausted to feel angry about it.

His mom turned to him as she heard the door open, and her eyes widened as she got a look at his face. "Kel? Are you okay? What happened?"

Kel was debating whether to make something up or just ignore her and go to his room when she did something that surprised him: she put the phone down, walked over to him, and hugged him. Usually Kel got all squirmy when his parents tried hugging him, but this time he gratefully sagged into it. Dimly, he realized how much shorter his mother was than him.

"Oh, Kel," his mom said, rubbing circles into his back. "You try so hard, mi hijo , but you wear everything on your face. I know you probably don't want to talk to me. But talk to someone, please. You're so quiet now…"

Kel let out a sob, and clung to her harder.

***

It was springtime in Faraway. Color was returning to the world after months of short days and long nights. Flowers were springing up all around the park. Basil knew all of their names, and he was teaching Mari and Sunny to recognize each and every one of them, but Hero could never for the life of him keep them all straight. It seemed like he was as good at naming flowers as he was at making them into crowns.

Today it was just them again. Mari had set out the picnic blanket in the usual spot, and they were lounging together in the sun. The food for today wasn't anything magnificent – just some sandwiches, since Mari had been practising with Sunny that morning and didn't have time for anything more elaborate. That was fine with Hero. Sandwiches were great. Anything Mari made was great.

Mari clearly had something on her mind, though. The tell was that her hands wouldn't stay still: always fiddling with her clothes, or the basket, or the blanket, or whatever else was in easy reach. She wanted to say something. Hero just waited and let her speak when she was ready.

"We'll… always be like this, right?" she asked. "We'll always love each other?"

"Of course," Hero replied easily. "I can't imagine things being any other way."

Mari still wasn't satisfied. "Well… Hero, I've noticed something. There's someone else here, isn't there? I can't see them, but they're here. He's here."

The hangout spot and the rest of the world around them was gone. It was just the two of them on the picnic blanket now.

Henry was dreaming again. This wasn't her. This wasn't the Mari he had known. It wasn't even an accurate memory of her, really. The real Mari would never have asked him a question like that. Declarations of eternal love were not something she did. She had always been the more level-headed of the two of them.

"Do you still love me?" Mari asked fearfully, pulling her legs to her chest like her brother always did.

It wasn't Mari. It was him. Henry closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, Mari was gone. Instead, he was in her place. From the unwashed, unbrushed hair, the sunken eyes, the expression of total despair, and the beautiful jet-black suit, he knew exactly when this memory was taken from.

Hero turned to him with an expression too shattered to produce tears. "Does it ever get better?"

"Only if you want it to," Henry replied.

He woke up, the memory of whatever he'd been dreaming about already escaping him. There was a weight on his chest, as there pretty much always was when he woke up in the morning, but this felt… different, somehow. Scratchier. He looked down to see a mop of untidy brown hair lying on his bare chest.

Henry blushed as the memories of the previous night returned to him. He did have to get up soon, since he had an early class today, but… he could wait a bit, couldn't he? He was enjoying this. The soft tickle of Jamie's slow breaths against his chest felt like gentle kisses. Now that he was actually aware of his whole body, he realized that Jamie's legs were entwined with his. The bed was way too small for two people, particularly when one of them was Henry's size, so it was kind of forced, but his heart raced regardless. He reached one hand down and brushed his thumb against the soft skin of Jamie's thigh.

Turning his head to the side, he saw that Bowen's side of the room was empty. The blankets were gone from his bed. He'd probably have to apologize to him later for being a bit inconsiderate. His eyes then moved to the porcelain cat on his bedside table, which was sticking its tongue out at him reproachfully. The more Henry looked at it, the more whispers grew in the back of his mind, reminding him. He reached out and turned the cat so it was facing away from the two of them.

After basking in the warmth for a while, he gently moved Jamie's head off his chest, trying his best not to wake him in the process. Jamie's cheek peeled off his chest with a weird wet sound, revealing a big sticky patch on Henry's skin where he'd been drooling. Yuck.

A pair of gorgeous blue eyes opened and stared uncomprehendingly at him, blinking slowly. "Hmm… dead?" Jamie muttered. "Heaven? Aaangel?"

Henry leaned down and planted a soft peck on his forehead. "Go back to sleep." Jamie let out a weird grunting noise and did as he was told. Henry stifled a giggle. So Jamie was not a morning person. Noted.

He gently extricated himself from the bed and threw on some clothes. He'd have to take a shower before he left, but that could wait for the moment. It was breakfast time, and today Henry was feeling like at least a couple of bowls of cereal. He opened the door to the main room to find, as expected, Bowen ensconced on the couch. The blankets from his bed were wrapped around him like a cocoon, and he was reading a book. It looked pretty cozy, to be honest.

"Morning," Henry said, in a voice that came out as a deep croak. "Sorry for making you sleep out here. I know it was pretty cold last night. I promise I'll do all the dishes for the next week to make it up to you. And I won't do something like that again without letting you know first."

Bowen yawned and stretched. As he did so, the sleeves of his nightshirt fell down past his elbows, revealing the tattoo on his right arm. He scratched at it, seemingly unconsciously. "It did not bother me, Henry. I am simply glad you saw sense."

Henry gave him a rueful smile. "Yeah. I guess you were right, huh? Now you can hold that over my head forever."

That got him a very serious look from Bowen. "I do not gloat," he insisted. "That would be impolite. I would only hope that you listen to me more often in future."

Chuckling, Henry walked over to the kitchen to grab some breakfast. As he was doing so, he noticed the large plastic box on the dining table. "That's your cake, isn't it? Are those berries on top? Looks nice."

Bowen flipped over and rested his chin on the arm of the couch so he was facing Henry. He sighed. "Yes, that is the cake I was baking last night. It is garnished with strawberries, raspberries and blueberries. The recipe I consulted called for it to be iced with buttercream, but I used whipped cream because buttercream is simply too sweet for me. As you can see, the cream is very inexpertly applied. Perhaps desserts are not my calling."

"I'm sure it still tastes great, Bowen. I might have some after dinner. Probably not any for breakfast, though." He grabbed a bowl, some cereal and some milk and got to work. Bowen went back to reading his book. A comfortable silence reigned as Henry ate his breakfast and went off to have a shower.

Usually, Henry was quick and ruthless in the shower: in, wash, out. This time, though, he stood there for a few minutes, simply enjoying the feeling of the warm water washing over his skin. For once, he wasn't feeling like he needed to run anywhere. He was… calm. Happy?

He washed and dried himself, then brushed his teeth and attempted to force his hair into something resembling neatness. It was always a losing game, but he did at least manage to pat down the worst of it. He stepped out of the bathroom and checked the clock on the wall. Probably about time to leave. Maybe he'd grab a coffee on the way in or something.

Moving very quietly so as not to wake Jamie, he returned to the bedroom and began to pack up everything he needed for class that day. When he was finished, he took a moment to observe Jamie, who was splayed out in a very strange position with both his feet dangling off the side of the bed. He chuckled to himself and left.

"I don't know when Jamie will be up," he told Bowen as he headed for the front door. "Just go in and shake him if he's taking too long. I'm sure he won't mind. If he does, though, tell him I told you that you could do it."

"I will make breakfast for us both," Bowen replied. "There are some eggs we need to use. He seems like the type of man who would enjoy scrambled eggs."

Henry grinned. "What a gentleman." He turned to leave, and was just about to turn the door handle when the bedroom door opened to reveal Jamie, clad in an inappropriately small amount of clothing and still not really looking like he knew where he was. Bowen graciously averted his eyes.

"Jamie, go put some pants on," Henry laughed. "You're going to get cold if you walk around like that. Not to mention you'll scare Bowen. I'm heading to class now, but I'll be back a bit after lunchtime…"

"Hey. Hey. Wait." Jamie stumbled up to him, running a hand through his thicket of hair. Henry winced as he saw knots of hair break apart. There was no way that didn't hurt. Although Jamie didn't seem to mind too much. Once he'd managed to get to Henry, he stood on the tips of his toes and leaned up to kiss him, one hand reaching behind Henry's head to push him into the kiss. His breath was foul and swampy, but Henry didn't care. He held Jamie close with one arm around his back. Then he cheekily lowered his hand down to one of Jamie's buttocks, covered only by his boxers, and squeezed. He felt the response immediately against his leg, the thin fabric not doing much to conceal anything.

"Mmf," Jamie grunted as they broke apart. "Tease. Have a good day."

"You too, whenever you decide to start it," Henry replied, blushing. He leaned in and kissed Jamie's cheek, and was pleased to see him go a bit red as well. "By the way, there's cake, courtesy of Bowen. I thought you might want to know."

Jamie turned to the dining table and spotted the container. He ambled over and opened it, contemplated the cake for a moment, and then reached in and grabbed a fistful of it with his bare hand. From the couch, Bowen let out a shocked gasp. Within a few seconds, the chunk of cake had disappeared, leaving only some cream on Jamie's nose and a lot of crumbs around his mouth. Then he marched back to the bedroom and shut the door, Bowen staring after him like he'd just grown a second head.

Henry just laughed, and left for class.

Notes:

You ever have a great idea for a fic while writing a different fic? (I promise I will finish this one before starting anything new)

Also, if anyone was concerned, the section with Hero and Jamie is the most directly explicit this fic will get. If anyone was not concerned by that and in fact wanted more of it, sorry.

New chapter in one week!

Chapter 13: Honesty

Summary:

Henry rediscovers himself. Kel tries to salvage things.

Notes:

Way too much research was done for the first portion of this chapter. This whole chemistry bit is more trouble than it's worth but I will NOT let it go.

It was a bitterly cold evening again. The wind scythed through Henry as he jogged through the college campus, hands jammed into his pockets, trying to stick close to buildings to avoid the full blast. His parents had sent him a nice jacket a few days ago after he happened to mention that it was starting to get really cold, but even with his new gear he was absolutely freezing. A very light snowfall completed the scene. Henry hadn't gotten used to that yet. In Faraway, snow only fell a few months of the year. The beginning of November was too early for all that nonsense. But that was what Henry got for studying in the northeast.

The now familiar shape of the chemistry building appeared out of the gloom, and Henry quickened his pace as he recognized it. He almost took a tumble after one of his feet landed wrong, but he was able to rush through the doors and bask in the sudden rush of warm air without causing himself any serious injuries. Blowing into his hands in a vain attempt to work the numbness out of them, he set off through the deserted hallways.

It was nearly ten o'clock, so any normal person had long since left the building. His boyfriend, however, was not a normal person. He spotted the occasional bored guard roaming around, and made sure to give them all friendly greetings, but most of his attention was fixed on peering through the windows of the various labs.

Eventually he came to one where he spotted a lone, familiar figure in a white lab coat bending over some unidentifiable machine. Though his back was turned, Jamie was always very obvious by the hair, and also because nobody else was ever here voluntarily at this time of night. Henry smiled and opened the door.

"I have permission to be here," Jamie called in a monotone without turning around. "I've got keys, I'll lock up on the way out."

"Oh. Well, I guess I'll just go, then," Henry replied in a teasing voice. Jamie's head turned to him as soon as he realized who it was.

"Oh, hey there. Sorry, I thought you were one of the campus staff. They're always getting on my ass about leaving on time. I swear, it's like they're mad that I'm actually putting their equipment they spend tens of thousands of dollars on to good use."

"No offence taken," Henry replied with a grin. "What are you up to there?"

Jamie stepped away from the machine, revealing a weird device that kind of looked like a rocket. A bunch of trailing cables connected it to a computer sitting on a bench nearby. "I'm doing some NMR spectroscopy. Nuclear magnetic resonance spectroscopy, for the uninitiated."

"I feel pretty uninitiated," Henry said, walking up and inspecting the machine. "What does it do? And why do you need to be doing it at this hour?"

"Second question first. Me and some of my like-minded classmates have been working on this… uh, thing. With the approval of the faculty, of course. If you want to use their toys, you have to be nice to them. Anyway, we were able to synthesize the thing we wanted today, and I volunteered to stay back to do some preliminary purification stuff. NMR spectroscopy has a lot of different uses, but for my purposes it will detect impurities in large amounts. It's not ideal since it's not very sensitive, but it'll at least give me an idea of how much work I need to do. Plus, the machine is very cool."

It was very cool. Henry couldn't deny that. The two of them walked over to the computer, where a graph was slowly being generated. Henry looked over to see Jamie frowning at the screen. "Not good?" he asked.

"Not good," Jamie confirmed. "I think I'll be here for a while. This next part probably isn't going to be very interesting for you. It's gonna take a long time, there's no cool machines involved, and there's a lot of doing the same thing over and over again."

Henry smiled. "That's okay. I came prepared." He walked over to one of the empty tables, set his bag down, and pulled out a bunch of textbooks he'd stored in there. He would have been studying even if he was still in the dorms, so why not do it here?

Jamie blushed a little. "Thanks. I really appreciate it. Just, uh… ignore me if I start using some foul language at some point, alright?"

That earned him a finger wag. "Anger never helps the quality of your work. If you're getting frustrated, come over here and I'll help you out."

Jamie blushed a lot more that time. He turned back to his work, mumbling something Henry couldn't hear. Henry laughed and turned his attention to his biology textbook. It was always gratifying to flip the script on Jamie, who was usually the smooth talker. He wasn't even close to as immune from Henry's charm as Mari had been.

For the next couple of hours, Henry sat and studied while Jamie flitted around the room doing various things. Every so often, Henry would look up from his books and simply observe what Jamie was doing. Some of it he recognized from his own studies of chemistry, but most of it was beyond him. He stopped trying to guess what was going on once Jamie started waving something around that looked like a transparent genie's lamp.

Adenine, cytosine, guanine, thymine. Sometimes those little details had felt like they were only taking up space in his head so that nothing worse could sit in their place. If he could fill his memory with facts and figures, he wouldn't have any space to remember anything else, anything that might hurt. That hadn't really worked, but it had successfully made learning miserable, since it was just a mad dash to cram enough into his brain at once that it physically couldn't take anything else. A clearer mind worked wonders. Henry had forgotten that he actually enjoyed what he was studying, but he was beginning to remember again.

Studying had been an unhealthy coping mechanism for Henry for a long time now, but he did genuinely enjoy it. There was something about the logical ordering and reproduction of information that appealed to him. Sitting there taking notes, listening to the sounds of clinking glassware and pouring liquids, Henry felt totally at ease. The time flew by without either of them noticing. It was only once Henry checked his watch that he realized it was almost midnight, and that he was actually kind of tired. He looked over to see Jamie once again bent over the machine, carefully inserting a small tube.

An idea popped into his head. It wasn't an original one – Mari had pioneered this technique – but Henry remembered that it always worked well on people who'd been working for too long. He walked up behind Jamie and started to massage his back. Though the effect was dampened due to the thick lab coat between his hands and Jamie's back, the reaction was immediate. Jamie hissed in pain and arched up into him, mouth open.

"It's hard as rocks under there," Henry said, working out one particularly stubborn knot. "You've got to work on your posture. Can't have you getting any shorter. You might disappear."

"You're hilarious, He–ow!"

"You'll thank me in a few minutes," Henry said, working his way down Jamie's back. The way Jamie wriggled around his hands was very satisfying. "Your back must hurt doing this."

Jamie rested the back of his head on Henry's shoulder, looking up at him. Though he was wearing safety glasses, his eyes were still clearly red from strain. "Eh… sometimes. But I've gotta get this done. I'm doing another quick purity test, and if it looks okay we can head back. If it's not, though…"

"...then we'll still head back, and you can pick it up again tomorrow," Henry finished for him, leaning down and kissing him softly before he could reply. Jamie exhaled into him, the tension leaving his body as he went limp. The only sound in the room was the quiet whirring of the machine doing its work. Henry kept massaging down Jamie's back. When he was done, he hugged Jamie to him with one hand and brought the other up to cup one of Jamie's cheeks. Black eyes stared into blue.

"You're exhausted," he said, smiling.

"A bit," admitted Jamie.

The computer nearby beeped, and Jamie wriggled out of Henry's grip to go check it. Walking over to see as well, Henry saw that the new graph was a bit less spiky than the old one.

Jamie hummed. "Looks better, I'll give you that. I should probably do some paper chromatography on it, just to make sure…"

"You are not doing anything else. It's midnight. We're going to head back."

"I'm just gonna do one more test."

"You are not just gonna do one more test."

"I'm just gonna do one more test."

"Nope." Henry bent down slightly, locked his hands together behind Jamie's thighs, and hoisted him up. Jamie yelped and clung to Henry's neck, before starting to giggle uncontrollably. Henry set him down on a nearby benchtop – he wasn't strong enough to actually carry Jamie anywhere, after all. He smothered a cackling Jamie in kisses, peppering his neck, cheeks and lips until he finally gave in.

"Okay, okay, okay! No more tests. But I do have to clean up before we go. While I do that, would you please be so kind as to put my notes back in my bag?"

Henry packed his and Jamie's stuff away while Jamie took off his lab gear and dealt with all the various bits of equipment he'd left lying around. When he was done, he turned around to find Henry holding out his coat and bag. "Thanks, hot stuff," he said with a wink. Ready to go, he offered out a hand, and Henry took it with his own.

They walked back through the deserted halls together, Jamie locking each door behind them as they went. When they stepped outside, it was snowing harder, though the wind had mercifully died down. Jamie shivered and sidled up next to Henry, yanking a beanie over his head with his other hand.

"Christ. They really keep the buildings warm, don't they? I guess you never know what you have until it's gone. Luckily I have my hero to help me home through this dark and miserable night."

Henry chuckled as they set off. The snowflakes melting on his face provided a pleasant sort of burn, and his hair slowly gathered white outlines. With how close Jamie was to him, the cold wasn't actually too bad.

Jamie had a contemplative expression. "Hm. That reminds me, actually. You're not really Henry, are you? You're Hero."

Henry shrugged a little. "That's what most people call me. But, as I said, I don't really feel like that person anymore. It has a lot of things attached to it."

"What was that person like?"

Henry pondered for a moment before answering. "A good brother. A good friend. A good son. Someone who was always willing to help anyone out. Someone who was… selfless."

The crunching of their shoes in the snow was the only sound for a while. Eventually, Jamie spoke up again. "Do you not feel like any of those things now?"

"You weren't the only person I ran away from. Some people I'm still running from. The version of myself they think I am wouldn't do that. When people call me Hero, I sometimes feel like I'm wearing a mask of someone better than me."

"Maybe the better question is this. Do you think you can't be any of those things again?"

Could he? He tried to imagine the old days brought forward to the present. He imagined himself baking cookies in the kitchen of his house while the present day Kel and Aubrey bickered in the background. That scenario at least was plausible. But there were three people missing from that dream: one he could never get back no matter how much he wanted it, and two he wasn't sure he wanted back. In a weird way, the existence of 'Hero' seemed to be tied to the others. Without them, he could only ever be Henry. 

Was that really true, though? And even if it was, were they really gone?

"Maybe I could," he allowed. "You can call me either. I don't mind."

"Which name would be better for your growth and personal development?"

Henry rolled his eyes. That was such a Jamie way of phrasing that question. Jamie snickered beside him. "That's what I thought. So, it's official. You are now Hero."

"You're the boss," said Hero, smiling at him.

***

Kel didn't sleep much that night. He replayed his argument with Aubrey over and over again in his head. Each time it repeated, his mood sank a little further. Everything he'd said to her, which in the heat of the moment had sounded so real and so right, now seemed like horrible thoughts he should never have let leave his head. How much of that had he really meant? At the time, he would have said all of it. It was only now that he realized he basically didn't mean any of it. That wasn't him. That wasn't the way he thought about things and about other people. He wasn't like that.

Kel was reminding himself way too much of his brother these days.

When he did finally sleep, he dreamed of a darkened room and a face warped beyond recognition by anguish and rage, backing him into the corner of his room, spitting venom in his face. Kel had gotten those nightmares sometimes ever since that day. They hadn't been too bad, truth be told: he'd long ago blocked out most of what Hero had said to him that night three years ago, and the dream version of his brother never spoke in actual words. It only left him with a strange sense of foreboding.

This time, though, the dream was different. The memory was sharper, clearer, and Hero had been saying words, though Kel had only caught a few of them. The small number he did hear, though, stirred up memories of fear and guilt long buried at the back of his mind.

Stupid.

Useless.

Do you know how to love?

The hole he'd dug himself into was so deep he felt like he could only stand there and stare at it. He had to apologize to Aubrey, he knew that. But when? How? How would he even go about doing that? 'Hey, so I know I told you that I think one of our best friends is a psycho and that you don't care about me at all, so sorry about that.' Would she even want to talk to him? Should she forgive him for saying those things?

And it wasn't just Aubrey he'd have to apologize to either. She wasn't the one he'd treated the worst. Poor Basil, who'd only been trying to make the best of what he had and seemed like he was genuinely trying to change his life for the better, had only gotten scorn and rejection from him. Kel would have to mend fences with him as well. But that seemed like an even tougher prospect than Aubrey.

Whenever he got into an argument with his friends at school, Kel usually just took a moment to calm down, put a smile back onto his face, and went back to his positive self until it was clear that all was forgiven. That wouldn't work this time. He'd never had this sort of fight with any of his high school friends. He'd have to figure something else out.

It was a Saturday morning. Usually Kel wouldn't be up this early, but his body wasn't really letting him get any rest at the moment so he just decided to get up and start the day. The entire house was quiet as he walked downstairs to have some breakfast – even Sally, who was always willing to make some noise at any time of the day or night, was silent. The lack of outside stimulation only drew Kel further into his mind as he went through the motions of making breakfast. It would be cereal this morning. Some days he was willing to risk destroying some kitchenware to fry up some eggs or bacon, but today was not one of them.

Three mournful bowls of cereal later, he went back upstairs, showered, got dressed, and wondered what he was going to do today. It seemed weird to just go and play basketball at the park or something like nothing had happened, but if Kel decided to sit inside all day he'd go crazy. There was no way he was going to go and talk to Aubrey yet. It was too early in the morning for that. Apologies felt like more of an evening thing. Also, he needed to figure out what he was actually going to say beyond 'sorry', and that would probably take hours.

As soon as he stepped out the front door, though, he realized the choice wasn't going to be in his hands. He kind of expected somebody to come for him at some point – just not at this hour of the morning. Vance, standing at the end of his driveway, didn't seem like he'd expected to be out here this early either: his hair was all mussed up and he seemed to be wearing pajamas. It was a cold morning. Neither of them were really dressed for the weather.

"Come with me," he said to Kel. "Looks like you've got some stuff to answer for." Kel looked at the ground and didn't say anything, but followed.

Vance took him to Basil's house, as Kel expected. As they approached, he saw Basil and Kim standing out the front. Kim's back was to Kel, but her emotional state was pretty clear by the way she was wildly gesticulating and stamping her feet. Was she yelling at Basil? It didn't look like it. Basil's face didn't look like the face of someone who was being yelled at. Then Kim stopped waving her arms around and covered her face with her sleeve, shaking slightly. Basil hugged her.

Kel's eyes widened a bit. Wow. He… hadn't expected that.

They stayed in the hug for a moment as Basil muttered something to her. Then she disentangled herself from him and turned around, spotting Kel and Vance immediately. Her glasses were all wonky and her eyes red from crying. She lasered in on Kel, and her face twisted.

"YOU!" she shouted, storming up to him and shoving him hard. Neither Basil nor Vance looked like they were about to step in and save him, so Kel just stood and stared.

"What the hell did you do?" she demanded. "Aubrey's doing… this again, and it's all your stupid fucking fault again ! What is going on? Why is this happening? You never tell us anything! She never tells us anything! She just runs away sometimes and I have to go and get one of you because I never have any idea what's going on. What is it about you fuckers that makes her act like this?"

"Kim," Vance said quietly. Kel's mouth was jammed shut, frozen in shock.

"Are you… are you even listening? You know I'm her friend too, right? I worry about her too. I hate it when she does stuff like this and never says anything to me. And you're not gonna tell me anything either, are you?"

"Kim," Vance said again, more firmly this time. 

But she wasn't done. "You're such a piece of shit, Kel! You don't say anything to her for nearly four years, you leave me to help her through everything with her dad leaving and her mom doing… whatever the fuck she's doing, and then you just waltz back into her fucking life one day like nothing happened, and we're all supposed to pretend like this is normal and you didn't spend years hating each other. Oh yeah, and apparently you're dating as well. Were you ever planning on saying anything about that? Or was that just something else we weren't allowed to know about?"

"Kim, we should go," said Vance. "We'll talk to Aubrey about this later. Promise. But this isn't helping right now."

Kim wiped her eyes angrily and gave Kel one last scathing look over before leaving with her brother. That just left Kel and Basil, who for once seemed to be looking at him without fear in his eyes.

"Aubrey locked herself in the bathroom all night when she came back yesterday," said Basil. "This morning, she walked out and didn't tell me or Polly where she was going. I mean, I think I can probably guess where she went, but…"

"Yeah," Kel replied. "She'll be at the church."

An awkward silence descended. Something was keeping him rooted in place, facing Basil. Should he say something to him? Even if he wanted to, would this even be a good time for that? If he did want to say something to Basil, what was it?

"Were you arguing about me?" Basil asked.

"Kinda."

Basil slumped a bit for a second, but regained his composure. "I… I get it. I understand. I guess it was kind of stupid for me to hope that everyone would forgive me for what I did. If you hate me, I won't begrudge you that. But please don't make it Aubrey's problem. She doesn't deserve that."

He trailed off, pondering his next words before continuing. "And stop thinking so much about yourself."

The sudden sharpness in Basil's tone stunned Kel. Had Basil ever spoken to him like that before? Even when Kel's horseplay when they were younger annoyed Basil, he'd always just kind of sat there and accepted it. Basil wasn't confrontational. He didn't tell people to stop, or to do anything at all really. And yet here he was, doing just that. There was a challenge in his eyes, inviting Kel to deny it. But Kel couldn't, could he? He knew he'd been stuck inside his own head for too long. Maybe he was much more similar to his brother than he dared to admit.

"I don't hate you," was what he said instead. It felt lame and wasn't really relevant, all things considered, but he felt like it needed to be said. Basil responded by averting his eyes. He began to fidget. It was clear that the conversation was over for now. Kel said a nearly inaudible goodbye and headed off toward the church.

Faraway's church was nearly always occupied. There were enough retirees in the town to give the church what amounted to a permanent population. Ironically, that made the church kind of a bad place to go if you actually wanted to have some genuine introspection, since the resident oldies shamelessly commented on everyone in the room. And then there was the gossip. Not that Kel listened to any of it, of course. The fact that he'd memorized all of Mrs Bojevic's four (very messy) divorces was totally coincidental. Point being, Aubrey never just sat in the church anymore. There were too many judging comments for that. There was only ever one place she went now.

Except for the hangout spot, the church graveyard was way prettier than anywhere else in Faraway, which Kel thought was a bit grim. Old Beardy kept the place lovingly maintained. Every gravestone was as clear as the day it was set down. There was not a weed to be seen. If people left potted flowers at gravesides, he'd even water them.

But none of Old Beardy's work compared to the natural beauty around Mari's grave. White egret orchids, lilies of the valley, and the flowers representing each of her friends ringed the area around her grave in explosions of life and color. Mari would have loved her grave. It hurt him to think about that. Of course, it was Basil's work. Unlike his home garden, though, he didn't let Aubrey, Polly or anyone else help him with this. It was his own personal act of atonement. Though Kel had heard about it from Aubrey, seeing it in person was something else. It really was beautiful, even though most of the flowers weren't fully grown yet. Even someone like Kel could see that, once everything had bloomed fully, it would be spectacular.

Kneeling among the flowers, head bowed, was Aubrey herself. As Kel walked towards her, she didn't move an inch.

"A sister," she muttered. "You know I wished for that more than anything in the world? I used to dream about being adopted by Sunny and Mari's parents so I could be part of their family. It just seemed so perfect compared to mine. One time, when my parents were being really bad and I wasn't used to it yet, I begged Mari to ask her parents to adopt me. I'd never seen her look so sad. I bawled my eyes out when she told me they couldn't do that."

Kel kneeled down next to Mari's grave as well, keeping a non-intrusive distance between himself and Aubrey. The gravestone, polished to a gleam, said what it always said. 'The sun shined brighter when she was here.'

Yeah.

"She was the only one I really told about what was going on with Mom and Dad," Aubrey continued. "I mean, I said a couple of things to Sunny here and there, but I didn't want to worry him or freak him out with things like that. I just told him that they argued a lot. I didn't tell him that they were hitting each other. Or me. Only Mari knew about that." She took a deep breath. "She kept me sane when things got really bad. She always made sure that I could go to either her or your place in an emergency. She taught me how to treat my bruises and told me that one day, when things were better, we could dye our hair together. I… I loved her. She was the closest thing to a real parent I ever had. But that was a lot to put on a fifteen year old girl, wasn't it?"

Aubrey's parents hit her? The blood drained from Kel's face. If that was going on even while Mari was alive and her dad was still there, how bad had things gotten in the years after that? What had she been going home to every day while Kel ran around with his new friends and ignored the rest of them?

Aubrey kept speaking, though she still wouldn't look at him. "When she died, I was… shattered, and I was so angry at her for leaving me behind, but in another way I thought I understood it. Like, my twelve year old brain thought I'd taken all my sadness and put it onto her and it just ended up being too much. So many people relied on her. Sunny and Hero worshipped her. I did too. So, in a way, I thought I understood why she did what she did. It was just the easier way, yknow? For a while, especially after the album got scribbled over, I thought about joining her. If she wouldn't come to me, I'd go to her. I even wanted to do it the same way, but I never actually figured out how everything worked with the rope and all that. No idea how Basil knew that, by the way. I'll have to ask him sometime. Anyway. Point is, yeah, she was like a sister to me. You have no idea, Kel. You have no fucking idea."

Kel swallowed and hung his head, staring into a patch of lilies. Basil was right, wasn't he? He'd made everything about him. He hadn't considered Aubrey at all. Just like after Mari died.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice coming out in little more than a squeak. "I wasn't… I wasn't thinking…"

"Yeah. Neither was I, after a while. I guess once it gets to a certain point in a fight you stop worrying about whatever you were fighting about and start just trying to hurt the other person as much as possible. That started about Basil, didn't it? Hah."

Kel was quiet for a moment, trying to summon the courage to ask the question. "Does… does your mom still hit you?"

"Not since I learned to hit back." She didn't say it with any anger, sorrow or disgust in her voice – it was matter-of-fact, like giving the answer to a mathematical equation. It broke his heart.

Kel fiddled with the stem of a flower. "I don't know why I did that. I don't know why I've been thinking any of this. I'm just a jerk to everyone now, and I don't know why it happened."

"Because you don't say anything, dipshit," Aubrey responded. "When I get mad, I hit things. When you get mad, you pretend you aren't mad until you're so mad you literally can't pretend not to be anymore. I don't stand by most of what I said to you yesterday, but I do stand by that. If you have a problem with Basil, and you really still want to be friends with him, you have to talk to him about it. He won't say no, you know that. And you deserve to know. Mari was your friend too. There's nothing wrong with asking."

"Have you asked?"

"Some things. Not everything. But he always answers as best he can. I guess what you do with those answers is up to you, but I believe him when he says he wants to change. He was my first real friend, and I don't want him gone. If he'd managed to kill himself that night with Sunny, I don't know what I would have done. He's… suffered enough, I think. At my hands, mostly."

She changed her position, sitting cross-legged. Kel did the same. "After Sunny and Basil went to the hospital, I thought that was it," she said. "We had that one day back together again, and that was it. But then you came back for me."

"I never wanted us to stop being friends," Kel replied. "If I'd known… I would never have just let us stop being friends like that. Never. I missed you so much. I never found another friend like you."

"Then why didn't you do anything?" Aubrey meant it to be sharp, but there was a plea in her voice that even Kel could pick out.

"Because I'm an idiot, and I didn't know how to talk to you. I didn't even know if you still wanted to be friends with me or not. After a while, I guess it just became easier not to. You had your gang and you seemed like you were doing okay. I didn't want to accidentally make anything worse. That happens a lot when I say stuff."

Aubrey let out a pained chuckle. "Sometimes. Still. Yknow, as much as I hate to say it, the day you knocked on Basil's door and found me was one of the best days of my life. I thought it would be Kim or Vance or someone else in the gang. But you actually came back for me. I dreamed of something like that happening, but I never thought it actually would. Getting crushed by your stupid fucking bear hug was… like heaven. And look at me now. I get into a fight with you, and the first thing I do is wander off here and wait for you to come and find me again. Ugh. I can't believe I'm actually saying this shit. Twelve year old me would be puking right now."

Kel managed a shaky smile. "Yeah. Imagine if you told us we would kiss one day."

They both giggled a bit at that.

"You would have taken it worse," Aubrey said. "I remember you telling Mari you'd never kiss a girl in your life because they were so disgusting."

"Yeah. You were always more of a romantic. I remember when you used to sit on the swings with Sunny and talk for hours. Hero was so convinced you two would end up dating one day. Weird, huh?"

"Hey. He was kinda cute, in his dark and mysterious boy kind of way. I hope he's doing better now. He looked like an absolute nightmare when we last saw him."

A memory of a pale, painfully thin figure drifted to the front of Kel's mind. It was more than just malnutrition: Sunny had looked like he was literally fading from existence. "Yeah. Hopefully getting… that off his chest helped him. I really hope I get to see him again someday."

"Me too," Aubrey said quietly, tracing the outline of a tulip with her finger. "He was a good friend. Even if he did stab me that one time. Kind of deserved it."

"Dude, he barely cut you. He kind of swung a bit and it scratched you and then you started screaming like a little baby."

"That is not what happened," Aubrey declared, shoving him over. "I did not scream. I was surprised , because I didn't expect him to start waving a knife around."

"I remember you screaming," said Kel from the ground. Aubrey reached over and plucked one of his leg hairs, and he yowled.

"Did it sound a bit like that, asshole?"

After a few more giggles, they went quiet again, remembering why they were there. Kel stared upwards. The sky was very blue today, with only a few wisps of white disturbing the view. "I just want my feelings not to get in the way of stuff," he said. "Do you get what I mean? Like, I don't want to be the guy who brings the mood down. You and Basil seemed like you were doing okay, and I didn't want to disturb that by bringing in whatever dumb stuff I'm thinking about."

Aubrey sighed. "Every word that comes out of your mouth makes me want to punch Mr Perfect Hero more."

That lost him. "Huh?"

"Don't worry about it. Anyway, if your head is telling you that what you're feeling doesn't matter, you tell it to shut the fuck up. I care about what you think, Kel. And it's not just because it'll all come out anyway. I care about what you think because… I care about you. And I want to know how you're doing. You… you mean a lot to me."

Kel pondered that for a moment. "Me too. Uh, I mean, you mean a lot to me too. Not me mean a lot to me too. And I'm sorry for staying all that stupid stuff to you. I know you… care about me. I don't know why I said you didn't."

"Sorry for calling you a brick. And a self-pitying loser. Going after you and Hero like that was kind of a low blow. You're not actually an idiot. We all say it, but… well, we should probably stop. Actually, we will stop. I'll make sure of it."

Kel turned his head towards her, and extended an arm across the grass. Aubrey exhaled, took his hand and lay down next to him. They stayed like that for a moment, quietly peering into the sky.

"Next time," she said, "if you're feeling something like this, talk to me before you go crazy and not afterwards. Also, go and apologize to Basil. Then ask him about… well, everything. But, uh, if I could be a little selfish here, please forgive him. I'd like that."

"I'll try," Kel replied. Thinking about Basil again made another memory resurface. "Aw, man. I just remembered that Kim is so pissed off at me."

"Good. If you fuck with me, you fuck with her as well. Yknow, the first time I came to school with a black eye, she was absolutely fuming. She wanted to go and burn my house down with my parents inside. She literally made this whole plan that involved stealing from the gas station. I managed to convince her not to do anything dumb, but it felt good to have someone care that much about it."

Kel grimaced. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'll make it up to you now, I promise. I won't leave again."

"You better not." Again, Aubrey's tone was casual, but there was something in her voice that told him exactly how important this was to her. "No more leaving."

"No more leaving," Kel agreed.

The quiet was more comfortable now, but it was still missing something. An apology wasn't enough. Kel had been dumb, and he needed to make it up to her. Reluctantly, he found himself wondering what Hero would do. He'd had a couple of incidents of his own back in the day, although probably nothing this bad. Whenever he needed to get back into Mari's good graces, Hero would always use the same trick. Though he could admit he didn't quite have his brother's charm, Kel reckoned he could use it too.

"Can I… take you out?"

"What?"

"Like a date."

"Sure. When?"

Wow. Kel had no idea how he'd gotten to this part so quickly. "Uh… next weekend I have a lot of basketball stuff, so that probably won't work. What about the Saturday after?"

"Okay."

Was that a world record time? Kel broke into a massive grin. Aubrey snorted. "What are you smiling about?"

"I'm going on a date," he told her proudly.

She sighed. "Why did I have to fall for you of all people?"

Notes:

He's Hero again! Fic over, everyone go home.

New chapter in one week. It will be Basil time.

Chapter 14: Fears

Summary:

Faraway looms over Hero and Bowen. Kel talks to Basil.

Ah, finals. The destroyer of all plans. Even though they were still a month away, Hero was starting to feel the bite. Old notes needed looking over. Befuddled memories of content taught in the first few weeks of term needed refreshing. And all of this needed to happen while still keeping up with the constant flow of assignments and other classwork. Hero, for whom preparation was the watchword, could never start too early when it came to exams. It was starting to cut into his time with Jamie a bit, but he could live with that for the moment. At least they'd been able to come to an agreement on that: Jamie, despite his outwardly lax attitude towards most things, valued his marks as well. If all else failed, they only lived two floors apart from each other. Emergency visits were possible if either of them desperately needed the company.

The one holdout was Bowen, who was always dismayed to see Hero foregoing human contact for studying, but hell would freeze over before Hero put the brakes on when it came to exams. Getting through school with flying colors was non-negotiable. Sorry, Bowen.

Hero yawned as he climbed the steps to the fourth floor of the dorms. He'd just come from a few hours of studying at the campus library and was looking forward to a good dinner, though frozen meals probably weren't classified as a 'good' dinner. Another thing Bowen wasn't too thrilled by. Alas, the sheer convenience was too much to resist. Again, sorry, Bowen.

Bowen really did have strong opinions when it came to domestic life, didn't he? Hero chuckled to himself. He'd make for an interesting boyfriend. For that reason, and for a whole host of others. Maybe in another life it could have happened.

Reaching his front door, he brushed aside his sudden random thoughts about dating his roommate and entered. The kitchen was spotless, which was odd: usually Bowen was messing around with something or other at around this time of day. Then he noticed Bowen himself sitting on the couch, facing straight ahead towards the TV. He was sitting ramrod straight, with his phone up against his ear, not saying a word. The sounds coming from his phone were too quiet to understand. The hand not holding his phone was sitting in a fist on his knee. He gave no indication that he even knew Hero was there. Everything about his body language suggested to Hero that this was not a conversation he was meant to overhear, so he dropped his bag at the door and headed over to the fridge.

As Hero loaded a meal into the microwave, he heard Bowen say a very quiet "Yes, father." His voice was unmoving, without any of the emotion that had crept in over the months they'd stayed together. Hero glanced over at the couch in concern, but decided that it wouldn't be a good idea to pry. He busied himself with staring at his dinner rotating in the microwave. Sunny always used to love doing that. Hero couldn't say he understood the appeal.

…

The beep of the timer finishing startled him. Okay, maybe he understood it a bit.

He had just sat down at the dining table with his food when he heard a sob coming from the direction of the couch. Shocked, he whipped his head around to see Bowen still sitting in the exact same position, except now both of his hands were resting on his knees. He looked like he was posing for a school photo. His face was cast in deep shadow thanks to the lighting in the room, so Hero couldn't see if he was actually crying, but there was nobody else who could have made that noise. Hero left his dinner and went to sit on the couch as well, keeping some distance between the two of them.

Up close, Bowen was clearly shaken. His eyes were wide and unblinking, gazing straight ahead. Every muscle in his body looked taut. A single tear slowly traced its way down his cheek. Hero mulled over his options for a moment. That had obviously been Bowen's dad on the phone. He'd never seen Bowen look like this before, so it was safe to assume something bad had happened. Should he ask about it? It might have been something that wasn't his place to know. On the other hand, Bowen had done so much for him these past few months. It seemed wrong not to at least try to help him in return.

"Are you doing okay?" he asked.

"Yes, thank you," Bowen replied in a hoarse whisper. Aside from his mouth, every part of his body remained stock-still.

To hell with it. Bowen was clearly pretty distressed, and Hero wasn't going to just let him stew in that alone, regardless of what the reason was. He'd learned from the best, after all. "Bowen, you don't look okay. Did something bad happen back in Faraway?"

Bowen shook his head. Even that movement seemed robotic, as if his neck was moving on a hinge. "No. I called my parents to inform them that I have taken a job in the city."

"Oh, you did? Where?"

"A bakery."

"Oh, right." That one made him feel a bit dumb. "Did your parents not like that?"

"Mother did not criticize my decision, but Father was not happy. He thinks that I am drifting away from my place in the world. He wanted me to come to the city only to learn the skills necessary to run the bakery after my parents have retired. Before I left, he made it very clear to me that he did not want me developing any… ideas. About doing other things."

"It's just another bakery, though," Hero reasoned. "And you're just doing it to earn a little money on the side, right? Is that really so bad?"

Bowen let out a shuddering sigh. "It is more than that. It was not just ideas my father did not want me developing, but also… perhaps what I might describe as the outlook of the city. For four generations our family has run the bakery in Faraway. None of us has ever done anything else. Father was already harboring doubts about letting one of us go to college because he thought it might cause us to break from tradition. And I cannot deny that he is correct. Yes, I took the job at the bakery partly to earn some more money for myself. But I also wanted to feel what it was like to work somewhere that is not our bakery. I wanted something different. And that is not the only thing I have done to break tradition."

Instinctively, Bowen glanced at his arm before returning to facing straight forwards. He still had not looked at Hero even once during their conversation.

"Your tattoo," said Hero.

"You shall not make any gashes in your flesh for the dead or tattoo any marks upon you," Bowen recited. "Leviticus 19:28. It was stupid. I don't know why I did it. I just… I became too wrapped up in the moment. I am beginning to think Father was right. Maybe it would be better if I returned to Faraway."

There was a lot to unpack here. Hero was well aware that he had zero legs to stand on in pressing Bowen for more information, given how he was even now still concealing the truth about Mari from everyone, but… well, sometimes a bit of hypocrisy could be a good thing. "What is it that you're afraid of?" he asked.

"Judgment," Bowen replied. "Both of my father and of the Lord. My father will see himself proven correct, and he will likely forbid either of us from leaving again."

If it was Jamie sitting in Hero's place, he'd probably say something about Bowen having the means to fend for himself, if it came to that. Bowen had a job, was pursuing a degree that could take him to a lot of different places, and had the support of friends. Why settle for less than you could be getting? But Hero knew better. That mindset was a luxury of a different kind of upbringing. Whenever Jamie talked to his parents on the phone in his presence, Hero was always awestruck by the weirdly roommate-ish relationship he had with them, trading barbs and laying down boundaries with a sharp witticism and a smile. For Hero, that just wasn't how it was done. It was the same for Bowen. You couldn't disobey your parents. The only tool you had was persuasion, and most of the time it wouldn't work. That was just how it was.

So he tried a different tack. "Your dad isn't going to bring you back to Faraway because of the bakery job, otherwise he would have said so, right? So all you really need to do is keep the tattoo hidden from him. Sure, that might be a bit difficult, but it's not impossible. They don't watch you shower or anything like that. Maybe Daphne can help with that. And even if your parents do force you to go back, there's nothing saying it has to be forever. Someone still has to learn how to run the business. Who's to say they won't let you come back again in a few years?"

Another sigh from Bowen. "To tell you the truth, it is not really me that I am worried about. It was my sister who really wanted to leave Faraway and see the wider world. My father is more traditional about these things, so he picked me to leave instead. Daphne offered no protest, but I know that she is hoping she will be able to leave as well, at least for a while. She has kept in contact with Jamie, asking him about various things relating to the science programs at this college. Not to my parents' knowledge, of course."

Not to Hero's knowledge, either. Jamie had given him absolutely no indication that he'd been talking to Daphne. So Jamie could keep a secret. Some part of Hero's mind noted that.

"I… I feel that I have been selfish," Bowen continued, his stony baritone starting to crack. "I have enjoyed being here, and taken the opportunity to do things that my parents would not have let me do back home. If in doing so I ruin my sister's opportunity to do the same, I will not forgive myself. Daphne will never say a harsh word to me about it, but I know she will be very distressed. It is in times like these that I really envy my little brother. Mikhael has none of these expectations on him, since he decided so young that he wanted no part of the family business. My parents let him do as he pleases, and focus all their attention on us. There are some days that the thing I want most in the world is to swap places with him."

It seemed absurd, envying a kid who paid girls to hang out with him at the fountain, pretended to be an anime protagonist and wore a filthy blonde wig. But Hero would be lying if he said he hadn't sometimes felt the same way about Kel. Sometimes he wondered how it would feel to be the brother without expectations. Kel did seem like the happier of the two of them, even before Mari died. But honestly, Hero didn't really know. Their relationship had never quite recovered from that horror year after Mari died. More and more, he found that Kel's mind was a mystery to him.

"When are you going back to Faraway next?" Hero asked. "If we have enough time, we can probably think up a plan to make sure everything works out."

"Winter break. Daphne will come here for a few days beforehand, and then we shall return to Faraway together. You will come back as well, won't you?" He turned to face Hero. Hero couldn't turn down the obvious plea.

"Yeah, I will. I think it's about time I went back anyway."

Bowen nodded. "We should be grateful for the allies we have in this world."

A wry grin crossed Hero's face. Even now, in his moment of vulnerability, Bowen couldn't resist a bit of a sermon. Not that he was wrong. Hero's parents had been worrying about him for a long time now, and he'd given them very little in return. He needed to assure him that he was doing okay. And then, of course, there was Kel. He remembered the last time he'd seen his brother's face; the desperate, shattered look he'd seen in Kel's eyes. The events of the past four years had driven the two of them way too far apart. Maybe it was time to think about trying to repair things. Really trying, this time.

"Your brother worries about you," Bowen said, apparently reading his mind. "It is not my business to pry into whatever has happened between you. Nevertheless, I hope that you are able to patch things up. You have a good family, and a good family can be your strongest pillar."

Hero chuckled. "You don't need to convince me, Bowen. I already said yes. I know I need to talk to Kel, and I will."

Some of the tension seemed to have left Bowen's body. His expression was more contemplative now. "The last time I saw your brother before I came here, he was at the bakery with that pink-haired girl, the one who goes to church nearly as often as we do. I believe Mikhael is in her 'gang', though I'm not sure what their 'gang' does, truth be told. I wonder if anything is going on there. They did seem quite close."

Hero grinned. "Kel and Aubrey together? Hah. I think they'd rather rip each other's throats out. But it's good to see that they're friends again." That was one of Mari's weirdest predictions: she'd been totally convinced that Kel and Aubrey would end up together, when it was so obvious that Aubrey only had eyes for Sunny and barely gave Kel the time of day when she wasn't actively beating him up. Whenever Hero tried to explain this, though, Mari would just roll her eyes at him and cite her 'feminine intuition', whatever that meant.

It occurred to him that he knew nothing about what was going on in Faraway. It looked like Kel and Aubrey had managed to patch things up, which was good. When Hero had come back to Faraway from college last summer, Kel had acted like their relationship was unsalvageable. Hopefully they were able to support each other through everything that had happened.

But there was still one person missing from the roll call. "Did you hear anything about Basil before you left?" he asked.

"Daphne told me over the phone that he returned from the hospital some time ago. But I do not know anything other than that. My apologies. I can ask her next time we call, if you'd like."

"No, you don't need to do that. Thank you for offering, though." Basil was a different proposition to the other two. Kel was his beloved brother, and Aubrey was good at heart, though a little misguided. But Basil… well, his actions needed a little more explanation before Hero could accept them.

At least Sunny wouldn't be there. Hopefully.

"You seem preoccupied," Bowen observed.

"Aren't I always?" The joke fell a bit flat, though it was always hard to tell jokes around Bowen, given that he never laughed.

"I suppose there is time to prepare," said Bowen. "Winter break is a month away. There are still finals to get through before then."

"Don't I know it," Hero replied, getting up from the couch. He went to grab his bag and set up at the dining table for a night of studying, but Bowen cleared his throat. He turned around to see Bowen looking at him in his best imitation of puppy eyes.

"Chess?" he asked hopefully. "Just one game."

Hero had to laugh. "Need a win today, do you? Ah, why not? As long as it's quick."

"It will be."

***

Standing in front of Basil's house, Kel felt a familiar sinking in his stomach. Doubts began to flood his mind. What if it turned out he couldn't hold himself together in Basil's presence? What if this ended up torpedoing their friendship forever? What if Basil just didn't want to talk to him at all? It wouldn't be like he didn't deserve it. He'd spent the past couple of months basically ignoring Basil as he went through a really difficult physical and mental journey. That wasn't friend-like behavior.

Kel growled and punched himself in the head. Bad friend. But they had to talk. Aubrey was right: he couldn't just keep this to himself anymore. For one, it clearly didn't work, and for two, he had a right to know about Mari. It was a weird train of thought. The concept that he had a right to demand something of someone else wasn't one he engaged with a lot. He always saw himself as more of a giver. Especially when it came to someone like Basil, who was still recovering from everything. But the questions he hadn't dared give a voice to had gnawed at him for too long. He needed to know, and Basil was the only one who could tell him, since the only other person who might have been able to tell him had disappeared off somewhere without even a farewell.

He swallowed, steeled himself, marched up to the front door, and knocked. Yowch. Too loud. That was a weirdly loud knock. He sometimes scared people by doing that – well, that and doing it continuously for several minutes. Although that technique had at least gotten Sunny out of the house…

His meandering train of thought was interrupted by the door swinging open. Basil was dressed for gardening in green overalls with an old shirt underneath. He was wearing his gardening gloves, and his big sunhat was tucked under his arm. When he realized it was Kel, his face froze into a strange pastiche of a welcoming smile.

"Hi, Kel. Ah… Aubrey isn't here right now. She's at her mom's house. Sorry. I can tell her you came by, though, if you don't want to go over there."

Kel stood there for a moment, reaching one hand up involuntarily to scratch at the back of his neck. Now that Basil was right there in front of him, it was difficult to find his words. He had to say something quickly, though. Basil was visibly starting to freak out the longer the silence went on, sweat droplets forming at his temples and his eyes going wide. He was quivering slightly. Kel hated that he was causing this reaction in somebody he called a friend.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you. But, uh, not here. Maybe the park? If you're doing some gardening stuff, though, that's fine. I can wait. I've got some time to kill."

That didn't seem to ease Basil's nerves very much. "No, no, that's okay! There's plenty of hours in the day to get gardening done." He emitted a weird squeak that might have been meant to be a laugh. "We can go to the park if you'd like."

"Cool. Let's go, then."

As expected, the walk to the park was painfully quiet. Basil kept his eyes fixed on his shoes, although that might just have been to make sure he didn't trip over his own feet. Though he didn't need the wheelchair anymore, he still walked a bit strangely, with small, shuffling steps that put the least strain possible on his torso. Kel matched his pace.

"Does it still hurt?" Kel asked.

"Oh, ah… sometimes. Walking is okay. Getting out of chairs can be hard. Bending down isn't great."

"That sucks."

"Yeah."

The park was decently busy, which stumped Kel for a moment. He hadn't considered that he and Basil might not actually have a good place to talk. The hangout spot could have been an alternative, but Aubrey had taken the Hooligans there for the day specifically so that nobody would interrupt their talk. Kel scanned the park for easy seating. Unfortunately, all the benches were already full.

"Uh, is it okay if we just sit against a tree or something? I kinda forgot that it would be busy today."

"That's okay."

Kel guided Basil towards a suitable tree. Basil moved to sit against it, but was having some difficulty so Kel supported him. Touching Basil wasn't as unbearable to him as it was before his argument with Aubrey, but it still made him uncomfortable, and clearly Basil felt similar. The two of them sat next to each other in silence for a moment. The awkwardness felt thick enough to cut with a knife. Basil was keeping his arms wedged between his legs to avoid accidentally brushing against Kel, who for his part was busily looking anywhere except for the boy sitting next to him. He had to be the one to start things off, though. He was the one who'd brought Basil out here. He'd be the one asking most of the questions.

"First off," he began, clearing his throat as his voice caught on a glob of spit, "I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I know I've been a jerk to you since you came back. I've been pretending that nothing is wrong, but stuff is wrong, so… yeah. I guess I never actually gave you a chance to explain yourself."

Basil let out a shaky breath. "It's okay. I get it. I did some really bad things, a-and you have every right to be mad at me for it. I would never demand forgiveness from you or anything like that. I'm just happy that anyone is still around, really. It's better than I could have hoped for."

"But it wasn't fair to you. We were friends. Friends shouldn't treat each other like that."

Basil looked up and met his eyes. "Are we friends?"

"I want to be," Kel told him honestly. "Remember when I told you that when me and Sunny were getting your album back? I still want that to be true. But there's some stuff we need to get out of the way before that."

"Yeah." Basil visibly steeled himself, taking a few deep breaths and straightening his back against the tree. Kel watched him with some apprehension. Would talking about this cause him to break down again? Was this a good idea? Was there even any answer Basil could possibly give them that would make anything better? Why was he risking Basil's mental health on his own selfish desire to prod?

No, he needed to stop thinking like that. That was what had led him to blow up at Aubrey. Mari was his friend. It wasn't selfish for him to want to know what had happened to her and why.

"Where do you want me to start?" asked Basil.

"The recital day. When you… yeah."

Basil started to fidget. "O-okay. I went to Sunny's house early because I had nothing else to do that day and I thought I could give them some support, since Sunny had mentioned to me how much he was stressing about the recital. When I got there, they were already arguing at the top of the stairs. When I saw Sunny push Mari, it… I don't really know how to explain it properly, but I didn't see it as him pushing her. It was something else. Something behind him."

"Something behind him? Like a hallucination? A monster?"

"K-kind of. I guess the main point is that it wasn't him. But I thought that if anyone came and checked on us, they'd think that it was Sunny who pushed her, and then they'd take him away and I'd never see him again. And then I'd never see anyone again, because everyone would stop being friends if they knew Sunny killed Mari. I don't know. That part is a bit more hazy. I was panicking. N-not that I wasn't sad that Mari was dead! I was. I was freaking out. But I just… didn't want Sunny to go as well."

"Ironic, huh?" Kel said. Basil nodded silently and began looking at the ground again. A few seconds passed.

"Why did you pretend it was a suicide?" Kel asked. "And how did you even think of that? I don't think I even knew what hanging was when I was twelve. Well, until Mari."

Basil hesitated for a moment before answering. "There is a reason. B-but when I tell you, I don't want you to think that I'm making excuses. I know that what I did was terrible. I would never do it again. Even… even if it meant that Sunny actually would have been taken away somewhere and I would have never seen him again. Every day I wish I could take it back. I'm not trying to justify it."

"Alright, I get you. Don't freak out about it."

"Okay." Basil licked his lips. "Well… you know that when I was young and still lived with my parents, we travelled around a lot. We never stayed in the same place for more than a year. It was always the same. I got bullied a lot for being… you know, me, but I would make a couple of friends. I would hope that somehow this time would be the time I would be able to stay with them, but then it wouldn't end up that way and we'd go somewhere else and I'd… I'd never see any of them again. I spent a lot of time reading back then. Somewhere in one of those books I learned about suicide, and hanging yourself. I started thinking about it a lot. I was just so miserable all the time, especially when it was time to leave and I knew I'd never see anyone again…"

He took a moment to compose himself. Kel didn't know whether he should offer condolences or stay quiet or do something else. This type of conversation was one he'd never learned how to have. He loved his parents and all, but mental health didn't really exist for them. Unless it was Hero's mental health. Then it existed.

Shut up.

"A-anyway, when I was eight years old and we were about to move again, I decided that I'd had enough. I tried to hang myself from the ceiling fan in my room, but it just broke. My dad heard it and ran in and saw what I was doing. After that they sent me to a psychiatrist who told them that I needed to stay somewhere stable if I was going to develop like a normal kid. So they sent me to live with my grandma. I've only seen them a few times since then, and every time it's like they're… scared of me, almost. It's like they don't want to say anything, because they might say the wrong thing and then something bad will happen. They still travel all the time."

"Do you ever wish they were around more?"

A weak shrug in response. "I don't really know. When I got to Faraway and met all of you, I kept having nightmares that my parents would come back and take me away. I promised myself that if they did come to take me away from you, I would kill myself. I just couldn't bear the thought of losing everyone again, especially when you were all so good to me. I… I think that after a while they decided it would be better if they didn't have much contact with me. That was probably for the best. I don't know. Sometimes I wish I could see them, but…"

He trailed off, leaving Kel to his thoughts. So it was a fake suicide because Basil was thinking about suicide a lot around that time. That… made sense? Kel's brain wasn't rebelling against it, at least. But Basil's mentions of Sunny had caused another question to pop into his head.

"If it had been someone other than Sunny who pushed Mari, would you have done the same thing?"

There was a long silence after that. Kel was still staring straight forwards, so after a while he turned to face Basil. He saw Basil gazing off into the distance, silent tears tracing their way down his cheeks. There was something broken in his eyes.

"I wonder that a lot," he said, so quietly Kel could barely hear him. "I know my relationship with Sunny was unhealthy. He just understood me like nobody else did. I could talk to him about anything. Anything at all. He would never judge me. I always felt like everyone was judging me all the time, but he never did. He was such a good listener. I started coming to him with everything that was worrying me, and I always felt better after telling him about it. I felt better when I was around him. In the hospital I thought about it, and I realized that… I was kind of obsessed with him. I needed him to be with me and listen to me or I'd go crazy. Nobody else made me feel like that. I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving me forever. I… I don't know. Thinking about it makes me hate myself."

Kel mulled over his next question for a while before asking it. "Did you like him? Like, as more than a friend?"

Basil let out a choked sob and buried his head in his hands. "I-It's horrible," he warbled, his voice muffled through his hands. "I-if I did that because I… because I loved him, then… that would make me a monster. I would deserve to die for that. And… and I stabbed him, and I took out his eye! I swear, I thought I was hurting the thing behind him that pushed Mari. I would never do that to him on purpose. My best friend…"

His words dissolved into a series of long, anguished wails. Kel's lower lip started to tremble as well. Seeing Basil like this broke his heart. Once upon a time, he had been a bright and bubbly boy, always eager to spout off a fact about a plant or cheer them on in their endeavors. He was the keeper of their memories.

Did he still want to be friends with Basil?

Yes, despite everything. Kel still couldn't pretend that he understood exactly what was going on in Basil's head when he decided to hang Mari, or when he stabbed Sunny. But it was so obvious now that Basil was remorseful for what he did. He understood the gravity of what he had done. He was… well, Kel didn't know exactly what he was, but he wasn't a monster. He was Basil. They'd spent a long time apart, but Kel had never forgotten him. And he had no intention of losing another friend. Basil wanted to make something better of himself. Kel wanted that for him. He would never be able to forget what Basil did, but seeing how committed Basil was to changing himself made him feel less weird about forgiving.

It was only then that he realized Basil's cries had changed again into a continuous, desperate plea of "I'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorry." People were starting to look at him weirdly from across the park. Kel frowned at them until they had the decency to look away. He slung one arm over Basil's shoulder and pulled him in close, allowing him to curl up against his side as he let everything out. Basil tucked himself into a quivering ball and lay against him, still whispering apologies amidst his sniffles. Unlike before, Kel didn't recoil from the touch. This was his friend, and he needed help. If nothing else, Kel could do that.

After a few minutes, Basil quietened down, though he didn't emerge from his ball. Kel didn't really know where to take things from here. He hadn't really planned this whole thing out at all, and he definitely hadn't figured out what to do post-talk. A motivational speech seemed like it would be a bad idea: he'd never been any good at those. If it had been Aubrey in his place, she probably would have given him a friendly slap or something, but that wasn't Kel's style. Maybe he should just go with his gut.

"Wanna go get some pizza?"

Basil nodded and began to unfurl himself from his position, still letting out the occasional sniffle. Kel got up and helped Basil to his feet. As they stood and faced each other, Kel took note of his friend's puffy eyes and red face and gave him a moment to calm down a bit. Then he put his arm around his shoulder again and led him towards Gino's.

As soon as they stepped through the doors, Kel's stomach made itself heard. He hadn't eaten much for breakfast due to being nervous about the impending talk, and all the greasy smells threatened to make him go beast mode. He looked over to Basil and spotted him eyeing the menu hungrily as well. Maybe he hadn't had breakfast either?

"I'm kinda feeling like a full pie today," Kel said. "What do you reckon?"

"That sounds g-good," Basil replied, still not taking his eyes off the menu. "Ah… maybe we could split it half and half? I'm pretty hungry. Vegetarian for me, please. Oh, and I have some money, too."

That was good. Kel didn't have enough in his wallet to pay for an entire pie by himself. He accepted the cash with glee. "One half vegetarian coming up!"

But what to get for his own half? The ever-reliable meatlovers? The decadent four cheese? The majestic supreme? The… eccentric anchovy (no)?

"Kel?" Basil called. "Are you… are you still with me?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Go take a seat. I'm still thinking." His parents (and Hero) always hated how long he took to choose pizza flavors. He made no apologies for it. It was an important decision. If he got a really meaty pizza but wasn't feeling meaty that day, it'd make him feel bad. Whenever he tried to explain this to his family, they always asked how he could even tell the difference given how quickly he ate anyway. They just didn't understand.

"Dude," said the bored-looking cashier, "there's a line behind you." Kel turned and saw that he was right. And one of the people in the line was Cris's dad. Oops. Kel didn't want to get on his bad side. To be honest, he freaked Kel out a little.

"One pizza, half vegetarian, half supreme, please!" Kel said.

The cashier raised an eyebrow. "No sandwich this time?"

"Hey, man. It's on your menu. You can just take it off if you hate it so much. Also, shouldn't a sandwich be easier to make than a pizza?"

The cashier scowled at him. "Your family and the owner are the only people who like them. And the owner doesn't pay when he gets one. Anyway, what would you know about making sandwiches? Or pizzas? I don't see you working here. Bah, kids these days. I've had the help wanted poster up for months now, and not a single taker! Except for that one guy you came in with once. He was a good worker."

Hm. That was an idea. Kel always seemed to be running short on cash these days. Winter break wasn't too far away, either. Heck, maybe he'd be able to treat Aubrey to something nice. And get some free pizza.

Kel paid for the pizza and headed for the exit, since usually he'd jog around the parking lot while waiting for his food. It was only once he was at the door that he remembered he was here with Basil, who definitely would not take it well if he just left. He scanned the restaurant, located a very confused-looking Basil sitting at one of the tables, and headed over to join him.

"Sorry about that," he said as he took the seat across from Basil. "I guess I'm kinda preoccupied by thoughts of pizza."

Basil giggled. "Aubrey was right. You do have a weird way of being able to make any situation lighter. I'm pretty hungry, but… not really thinking too hard about pizza."

"You really think so? I kinda feel like I've been bringing things down recently. I mean, obviously with… yknow, the argument, but even before that as well. Haven't really felt like a positive guy lately."

"You always try to be," Basil said, "even when you don't want to. It's a good thing, b-but I think that sometimes it'd be better if you took more time to figure out what you want. It has to be real to work, you know? Nobody is asking you to be positive all the time. I know Aubrey especially cares about you and wants to know what you're thinking."

Kel stared at the table, drumming his fingers. "Yeah. I kinda got lost in my head for a bit there. You were right that it was making me only think of myself, as well. Man, I really can't believe I said all that stuff to Aubrey. It makes me think of…"

He cut himself off before he could let that thought slip. It wasn't that he didn't trust Basil. It was more that he still didn't really know what he thought about his brother. Sometimes he found himself staring at the phone, wondering if he should call. His parents had stopped asking him to come to the phone when they called, so he didn't even have that excuse to force himself to talk to Hero.

Instead, he changed the topic. "You and Aubrey are pretty good friends now, huh?"

"Heh. I guess so. She sleeps over at my house a lot, and we talk about… stuff. It's nice. Having a friend around a lot is a good thing for me, I think."

"She was pretty nasty to you for a while," Kel pressed. "Are you really okay with putting all that behind you just like that?"

"I can't really complain," Basil replied. He was smiling, but in a way that left no room for argument. Kel had already figured out that he was dead-set on believing that any bad thing that had ever happened to him was deserved punishment for what he'd done to Mari. Something like that couldn't be cured over a pizza date. Maybe it was something worth thinking about for later.

"Do you think it'll just be us three from now on?" Basil asked, changing the topic himself. His face now had a drawn look, like he'd just tasted something sour.

"Well, I really hope we get to see Sunny again at some point. Hero… I don't know. He seemed like he was back to his old self once Sunny got out of his house, but… well, everything happened after that. We don't really know what he's doing anymore. My parents call a lot, but they don't get much out of him. I guess I'm a bit worried. But, uh, on the bright side, it's not just three of us anymore. There's all of Aubrey's friends too. Even the weird ones. I think that counts for something."

Basil nodded, but his glazed-over eyes betrayed that he was thinking about something else. He kept opening and closing his mouth like he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. Kel waited. When he did speak, it was in a voice that dripped with uncertainty. 

"D-do you think that I should be allowed to see Sunny again?"

Kel chewed his lip. That was one he didn't really have an answer to. "Do you think you shouldn't?"

Basil hunched in on himself a bit. "Sometimes, y-yes. I did something terrible to his sister, and he was the one who suffered the most from it. I don't think that he would have stayed at home for all those years if everyone had known what really happened from the start. I think… everyone would have known that it was an accident. They wouldn't have blamed him. We would have tried to help him through it. A-and I stabbed him. I didn't mean to stab him, but I did. I'm a danger to him even when I don't have any intention of hurting him at all. I was way too dependent on him. I know that now. Sometimes I think that… I should be kept away from him. For his own good. And maybe for mine as well."

It was a compelling argument. When they were in the hospital, Sunny's mom had made sure Basil was banned from coming near Sunny's room. It didn't end up mattering, since Sunny recovered first and left before Basil got out of bed, but Kel couldn't blame her for doing that. What parent wouldn't want to keep someone like that away from their kid?

"Do you think you've gotten better since then?"

"Y-yes, but… I don't know if it's enough. I'm scared that I'll do something horrible again. I never wanted to hurt Sunny, but I'm the person who has hurt him the most in his life. I can't trust myself."

"Do you want to see him again?"

Basil swallowed, and spent a few seconds staring off into space before answering. "Yes. I want that more than anything. But isn't that another reason that I shouldn't be allowed to see him? If I still want it that badly, doesn't that mean it's all going to be the same as before?"

"Well," Kel said uncertainly, "he was, like, your best friend. I think it's natural that you'd want to see him again. And you probably need the closure. The way you guys left off wasn't great."

Before Basil could say anything else, Kel's order was called from the counter. Kel hopped up to grab the pizza. When he returned, he found Basil doing some sort of breathing exercise. His eyes were closed, and he was moving his hands up and down to the rhythm of his breaths. Kel just sat there awkwardly, not wanting to disturb whatever was happening. Eventually Basil opened his eyes, which looked a little clearer than before.

"This was one of the things they taught me in the ward," Basil explained. "Whenever I start thinking about things too much, it overwhelms me. The therapists there taught me a lot of ways to help calm down. It doesn't always work, but… this time it did, I guess."

Kel smiled. "Hey, that's pretty useful. You were always a bit anxious even before everything went down. It's cool that they helped you deal with all that."

"Heh. Yeah."

"Anyways, no point thinking about all that now. Sunny isn't here, after all. We'll cross that bridge to the other side! Uh, I think that's how that one goes. Whatever. Pizza's here, and I'm hungry. Dig in."

The two of them got down to business. It was crazy how just sitting and talking for a while made Kel build up such an appetite. The slices were disappearing even more quickly than usual, and yet he yearned for more. The trials of a growing body. Aubrey sometimes quipped that all the food went to power his brain. Although she probably wouldn't make a joke like that anymore. She'd promised to get everyone to stop making jokes about how dumb he was. Surprisingly, it seemed to have worked (mostly).

He finished the last slice of the supreme half of the pizza, belched to clear some more room in his stomach, and reached for one of the slices in the vegetarian half… of which there were none. He looked up in shock to see Basil tearing into the last slice of vegetarian pizza. Noticing him staring, Basil paused, and a bunch of assorted vegetables fell out of his mouth.

"Did you eat that whole half by yourself?"

Basil nodded and took the pizza out of his mouth. "Oh, did you want some as well? I'm sorry. I thought we were sticking to our own halves."

"Dude. You ate that pizza literally as quickly as I did. What the heck?"

Basil shrugged and blushed a little. "I'm hungry."

"Man, I guess I've got some power-eating competition. Hey, by the way, have you gotten taller?"

Now Basil was blushing a lot more. "A-ah… Polly did measure me recently. Apparently I've grown a couple of inches since leaving the hospital. Come to think of it, I have been hungry a lot recently…"

Kel whistled. "Good on you, dude. It's nice to see you eating again. I'm still kinda hungry, though, since I thought I'd be having some of your half."

"Me too," Basil admitted. "Do you… have any money left on you?"

"Nope."

Basil sighed and looked through his wallet. "I have some, but only enough for half of a pizza. Polly might get mad at me if I spend all my money on pizza. Although she is constantly telling me to eat."

Kel spread his arms. "See? This is a health activity, Basil! What you're doing right now is good for you. Now go and get us another half before I start eating the table. Don't leave me starving!"

Basil cracked a smile. "A-alright."

Notes:

Friends are for buying you pizza.

New chapter in one week!

Chapter 15: Kel's Big Day

Summary:

Kel turns seventeen.

Today was the day. November 11. The ritual that always occurred today had been honed over many years. When he was younger, Kel had always woken up really early on his birthday. Because it would be too early for the present-giving to start (in fact, his parents would usually still be asleep), he'd then spend the next few hours annoying Hero and running around and trashing their room in excitement. So it eventually became established practice that, in the Montoya household, the day of November 11 always started early. Specifically, 6am sharp. Even as Kel got older and less crazy about birthdays, the habit stuck.

Kel had some particularly cherished memories of those early starts. The year Sunny and Mari had moved in next door, his birthday had been on a Saturday, so everyone had piled into Kel and Hero's room for a sleepover on Friday night. Unfortunately, they'd forgotten to tell either of the siblings about the 6am start time. Mari at least had taken it in good cheer. Sunny, on the other hand… well, he was always a guy who liked his beauty sleep, and he was not amused. Kel had a very clear image in his mind of Sunny sulking over his breakfast pancakes, barely able to keep his eyes open. If only Basil had been around then to take photos…

His clock turned to 6, and Kel leapt out of bed and got dressed in his trusty jersey, which had thankfully just been washed. He was immediately assailed by the cold morning air, realized the jersey wasn't going to be enough by itself, and went to grab a hoodie. Now equipped for the proceedings, he opened the door to his room to see his parents' door down the hall also opening. His dad stepped out, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. From inside the room, Sally began to cry. That was one of the more recent drawbacks to the early start. Kel smiled guiltily.

"Happy birthday, champ," said his dad, wrapping him in a big hug. "Seventeen! Man, I'm getting old. And so are you. This time next year you'll be a fully grown man. Hard to believe, eh?"

Kel chuckled a bit. "Yeah. I guess so."

His mom came out of the room next, holding Sally, who was now in full-blown tantrum mode. Wincing, she walked over to Kel and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Happy birthday, mi hijo . Do you think we could maybe do this a bit later next year? The diablilla here does not like being woken up early." Proving her point, Sally let out a long wail.

"Uh, maybe?" Kel replied. He saw the reasoning behind it, and he was no fan of Sally crying, but at the same time this was his thing. For as long as he could remember, no matter what, November 11 was Kel's day. Making changes to that felt weird.

"Ah, we can talk about that later," said his dad. "Let's go downstairs. You don't have too many presents this year, but there's one I think you'll like a lot."

Kel was intrigued. The eternal debate of more presents vs better presents had been the subject of many arguments when he was younger. Generally, he and Aubrey had been on the side of more presents (though they didn't always like to acknowledge that they agreed), while Sunny and Basil backed better presents. To be honest, seeing Sunny get that violin on his twelfth birthday had almost convinced Kel that the better presents side had it right. Knowing what came afterwards soured the memory of the moment, though.

Anyway, enough thinking about the presents of the past. There were presents of the present to open.

As the family went downstairs and his dad flicked on the lights, Kel saw that his dad hadn't been kidding. Every year they'd stack all of Kel's presents on the couch – Hero told him once that this was a psychological thing to make it look like there were more than there actually were, since they were all raised off the ground and looked very big in the eyes of young Kel. Today, though, there were only three presents on the couch: two gift-wrapped boxes and one noticeably not-wrapped basketball.

"Figured you'd know what it was anyway," his dad said, grinning apologetically. "Try it out. I got it from a place that sells proper basketballs. Since the last one broke, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity."

"And now you don't have to take home filthy balls from the park that leave dirt all over the floor in your room," his mom added, as she continued trying to placate a very unhappy Sally.

Kel twirled the basketball around and gave it a few experimental dribbles. Good quality. Bounce was powerful but consistent. It fit well in his hand, and was sticky enough that he wouldn't drop it while also being easy to maneuver. Overall, a very nice ball. "Thanks, dad," he said, tucking it under his arm. He reached for one of the boxes.

"Not that one!" said his dad. "The other one first. Save that for last."

Very interesting. Kel set down the mystery box and instead unwrapped the other one, which revealed itself to be a razor.

"You're growing up now," his mom explained. "You need to trim some of those hairs!"

"What hairs?" asked Kel, feeling his chin. Still nothing there. It seemed like he'd inherited his brother's inability to grow facial hair. Which was weird, since their dad had a full beard.

His mom sighed. "Not your chin. Your legs! It looks like a cactus down there. You might cut someone if you stand too close to them." Sally seemed to like that idea: she immediately stopped crying and began laughing instead. Kel tickled her nose, and she giggled.

"Alright," said his dad, looking even more excited than Kel was. "Last one! Trust me, this is going to be a good one."

Kel carefully unwrapped the last box, trying not to let the hype get to him. He didn't want to get his hopes up just to find out it was a desk lamp or something. When he saw what it was, though, his jaw dropped.

His dad beamed. "Pretty cool, right? This is one of those new Motorola ones. You can text people on it and browse the Internet. Let's get this baby set up."

After a bit of fiddling around, the phone was ready. "This is your phone number," his dad said. "Write this down somewhere so you don't forget. That's an order, by the way. I know what you're like."

Ouch. Harsh but fair. As Kel checked through all the different functions of the phone, a notification that he was being called suddenly appeared. He pressed the answer button and spoke, immediately hearing his voice coming from his dad's phone as well.

"Woah. I'm on the phone!"

"If you boys are done playing," his mom said, "I think it's time to start on the pancakes. Kel, keep your sister busy, please. I can't make pancakes while she's pulling my hair."

"Heck yeah!" Kel cried, stuffing his new phone into his pocket and eagerly accepting the handover. This was another birthday perk: a mountain of pancakes for breakfast. Usually his parents put a strict cap on how much he was allowed to eat for breakfast, and he couldn't eat sugary stuff, but today his mom would serve him as many pancakes as he was physically capable of eating. All drowned in butter and maple syrup, of course.

As he messed around with Sally, he suddenly remembered that, as important as today was, there was another important one coming up. His date with Aubrey was soon, and he'd come across a tricky issue he needed to resolve. Before he could think too much about it, though, he heard his mom set down the first plate of pancakes. Dreaming of fluffy goodness, he leapt to his feet and ran into the dining room.

The pancake tower was tall. It was fluffy. It was syrupy. Oh, glorious pancakes. Down the hatch!

"He does that faster every year," his mother murmured. "Well, I'm glad I bought a lot of pancake mix."

He was halfway through his third plate when he heard a knock at the front door. He looked questioningly at his dad, who shrugged. "We didn't organize for anyone to come over. Must be one of your friends."

Kel went to open the front door and found Basil standing there, wearing a cute flower-patterned sweater and a grin far too cheery for this time on a Monday morning (at least for those who were not celebrating a birthday). He was holding a small potted plant.

"Happy birthday, Kel!" he said, offering him the plant. "This is your present. It's a cactus! It reminds me of you, but more importantly it's very easy to take care of. You barely ever need to water it. Just make sure it's in some sun and it'll do just fine."

"Wow," Kel replied, taking the plant. He prodded one of the spines and winced. "Ouch. Those are spiky."

Basil laughed. "They sure are. Oh, by the way, Aubrey was supposed to be here,  but she got some last-minute ideas for additions to her present. She's still working on it at our place. We'll go back and pick her up on the way to school."

"But I take the bus?"

Basil stepped to the side and pointed towards the street, where Polly was parked. On cue, she honked and waved at him.

Birthday limo ride to school with friends? This was shaping up to be a good day. Kel almost lost himself in the possibilities before remembering his manners.

"Oh, do you wanna come in? There's, like, a lot of pancakes. You can have some."

Basil's eyes sparkled. "Ah… if it's not too much of a bother. I would like some pancakes, actually."

"That's the spirit!" Kel cheered, wrapping an arm around his friend. "Also, my parents will totally be stoked to see you. It's been ages!" He led Basil inside and to the kitchen, where his mom was busy at the stove and his dad was feeding Sally little crumbs of pancake. Judging by her enthusiasm, it looked like Sally was gaining a taste for pancakes at an early age. Good.

His dad spotted them first. A brief flash of something Kel couldn't decipher flitted across his face before he settled into his usual jovial smile. "Oh, Basil! It's been a while since I've seen you. You're a fair bit taller now than the last time you were here, heh. How are you doing?"

Basil gave him a shy smile. "Hello, Mr Montoya. I'm doing… okay? It's been rough recently, but things are getting better now."

"I'm sorry for your loss," said Kel's mother, turning around to look at them while still flipping pancakes. It was very impressive how many things she could do blind. "Your grandmother was a lovely woman. I actually still have the brochure they handed out at the funeral. I kept it just in case you ever wanted a copy, since I know you weren't able to go yourself. It's got lots of photos and things in it that her relatives contributed, so you might not have seen them before."

"Really?" Basil blushed a little. "I-I really appreciate that you did that! But… ah, I already got a copy from Polly. But still, thank you."

"Polly is your caretaker, right?" asked Kel's dad, absentmindedly letting Sally chew on one of his fingers. "I see her sometimes at Othermart. She's always got trolleyfuls of tofu."

"Hehe. That's for me. I'm vegetarian, so we eat a lot of tofu."

Kel's mom dished up two final plates of pancakes. One was for Basil, but Kel still had the half-plate that he hadn't finished, so he was content with his haul. "Be warned," he told Basil. "You gotta bring your A game to this. Pancakes are serious business."

Basil giggled. "I can see that. Let's be quick. Polly won't be happy if we keep her waiting too long."

They both wolfed down their portions at record-breaking speeds before Kel went up to grab his stuff for school and drop off his cactus (in full sunlight, as instructed). Once he was fully equipped, he headed back downstairs…

Wait. Basil was here. That was actually perfect! Basil would probably have the answer to the tricky issue that Kel needed to resolve before his date. He'd seen Basil do it a lot, after all. "Hey, Basil!" he shouted, retreating back up the stairs. "Come up here! Gotta ask you something."

A curious Basil promptly appeared at the bottom of the stairs. He began to climb, though his movements were stiff and slow. Oops. Kel had forgotten about that. He hurried back downstairs and helped Basil up.

"So what was it that you wanted to ask me?" Basil asked, leaning against the wall to catch his breath.

"Uh… okay, so, you know about me and Aubrey, right?"

Basil started snickering. "Yes."

Before Kel could get off track wondering why Basil had that reaction, he plowed ahead. "So I've got a date coming up with her. But I've got a problem. This is gonna sound dumb, but don't say anything! Promise."

"Okay, okay. I promise."

"Cool." Kel took a deep breath. "So… I don't know how to hold hands while walking."

Basil looked at him blankly.

"Alright, hear me out, okay? So I know how to hold hands when you're lying down. One person's hand is on the bottom facing up and the other is on the top facing down." He mimicked the action. "And when you're facing each other you can do kinda the same thing, right? But… okay, so, when you're standing next to each other, though, like, it gets weird. Because your hands are facing in opposite directions. I've tested this out. If you want the palms of both hands to face each other, you have to twist your arm weirdly" – he twisted his arm around to demonstrate – "and that just doesn't seem like the way to do it. But if you don't twist your arm, then your knuckles face each other, right? And that really doesn't seem right either." He laced his fingers together backwards to show Basil what he meant.

Basil's brows were creased in confusion.

"Cmon, man! Help me out! I remember seeing you hold hands with Sunny all the time when we were kids. You know what you're doing. Please. I can't go on my date with Aubrey without knowing how to hold hands while walking."

"Do you… want me to show you?"

Kel nodded eagerly. Basil sighed and stepped up next to him. In a genius move, he turned his arm so his palm faced forwards, taking hold of Kel's hand from behind. Man, this guy really knew what he was doing. Kel was lucky to have a friend like him. They held hands, just to test it out.

Basil's hand was quite warm, actually. It fit in his own pretty nicely. Kel admired the sight, then looked up to see that Basil was going a little red.

A thought occurred to him. "Remember when I asked you about Sunny? About if you… you know, had feelings for him? Uh, so are you gay?"

Basil went a lot redder. "W-what would you say if I said yes?"

"Oh, that'd be fine. I don't care about that kind of thing. Guys can date other guys if they want. No hard feelings."

Basil exhaled. "O-okay. Well… yes, I am."

Kel nodded thoughtfully. Basil's hand was starting to get a little clammy, and he was definitely starting to blush. Maybe he was getting a little uncomfortable? Kel gave Basil's hand a quick squeeze, just to reassure him that everything was good, and Basil squeaked a little.

"Anyways, thanks for helping me out!" said Kel, letting go of Basil's hand. "We should probably head out now, though. I don't want to make Polly mad or anything. Oh, man, I should totally have invited her in for pancakes as well."

Basil just nodded, now blushing furiously. Kel bounded down to the bottom of the stairs and looked back to see that Basil hadn't moved, and was staring at his hand like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"You good, buddy?"

"A-ah, yes! Sorry. Let's get going."

Kel said goodbye to his parents and raced outside, only to wince as he was blasted with cold air. He hugged himself and trotted down to the car, Basil following close behind.

"Happy birthday, Kel!" Polly said as the two of them slid into the back seats. Kel sighed with relief as the warm air hit him.

"Thanks, Polly. So what's Aubrey's present?"

Polly gave him a conspiratorial smile. "You'll see. We'll go get her now. You two were in there for so long that she's bound to be done by now. In fact, my guess is that she'll probably be irritated that we took so long."

Kel switched targets. "Cmon, Basil!" he begged. "Tell me what the present is!" But Basil just shook his head and smiled at him.

"I think you'll appreciate it," was the only thing he'd say. Kel groaned and started tapping his feet. The suspense was killing him!

As Polly predicted, Aubrey was waiting for them outside Basil's front door with a distinctly displeased expression. There was something white tucked under her arm. As soon as the car stopped, Kel leaped out and jogged towards her, grinning. Faced with an onrushing Kel, Aubrey's lips quirked upwards.

"Took you long enough," she said as Kel came to a stop in front of her. On closer inspection, the thing she was holding seemed to be a ball of some kind of fabric. "What were you doing with Basil?"

"Eating pancakes," Kel replied. "Oh, and we were testing some stuff. But you'll see later. Anyway, whatcha got there?"

Aubrey grinned and shook out the fabric. It was a shirt: originally plain white, but now with some significant additions. In the center, written in huge letters with what looked like black marker, were the words 'HI, I KEL!'. Surrounding the text were several crude drawings of his face (also in black marker). One of them was being hit with a bat and had 'x's for eyes, and his tongue was hanging out. Another had several sausages jammed into his mouth and had sparkling eyes. Another was sniffing his armpit with a grossed out look on his face. The fourth and final face was a scarily accurate recreation of Kel's surprised face.

"Basil helped me with that one," Aubrey said, pointing to the fourth face.

The rest of the shirt was plastered with stickers and other random doodles. There were a lot of basketballs and Orange Joe cans. But the coup de grace was on the neckline, which had been bolstered by a lot of frilly lace so that it looked like one of those neck ruffs people wore way back in the day.

"Wow," said Kel, giggling slightly.

"Put it on," Aubrey ordered. "It's one of Basil's old shirts, so it won't fit. But that's the idea."

Kel obediently took off his hoodie and shirt, exposing his bare torso to the elements. He shivered as the freezing wind ripped through him, only to look up and see that Aubrey, cheeks flaming red, was staring at his abs.

"Oh my God, just put it on!" she barked, averting her eyes and holding the shirt out towards him. Kel cackled and put on the shirt. As predicted, it did not fit. The bottom of the shirt came down to just above his bellybutton, and the sleeves were so tight Kel had to hold his arms out a bit. And that lace made his neck really itchy. He looked down and saw that an envelope had fallen out of the shirt while he was putting it on. He bent down, causing the shirt to ride up his body even more, and picked it up. Before reading it, he took a quick glance at Aubrey, who was blushing and staring at the ground. Kel smiled and opened the envelope.

Hey Kel,

Happy seventeenth, nerd. I made this shirt for you (Basil helped a lot as well) because I'm still kinda mad about that whole argument we had and I realized I kinda let you off easy, but I guess even that shows how far we've come. It's been so long since I could make a dumb joke like this with you. I missed it. And I missed you. A lot.

I know we've still got a lot of stuff left to figure out, but I want you to know that I'm happier now that you're in my life again than I have been for a long time. Having everyone around again just feels right. Maybe one day we really will have everyone around again. I don't know. But I hope so. For now, though, enjoy the half of the year where you're older than me.

And again, thank you for coming back for me, even when I was too stubborn to come back for you. You're a good person, and don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

Aubrey

Kel's smile quivered a bit as he read the final lines. It really did feel right to have her back. Her and Basil, of course, but her especially. Having her in his arms felt right. Her lips on his felt right. Sometimes he wondered how he managed to last nearly four years without her.

Aubrey mumbled something he couldn't hear. She still wouldn't look at him, and the tips of her ears were red.

"What did you say?"

"Turn it over."

He did as he was told. On the other side of the letter were three words.

Kel's eyes misted over, and he dropped the envelope and drew Aubrey into a tight embrace. Aubrey's cute little squeak was cut off as he kissed her deeply, running one hand through her long pink hair. Aubrey relaxed into it for a few seconds before jerking back suddenly.

"W-wait," she stammered, "they're… Polly and Basil are right there!" She glanced fearfully towards the car. Basil gave her a cheerful wave.

"So?" Kel asked.

Aubrey was now as red as a tomato, but she offered no protest as Kel drew her back into the kiss. They stood there for a while, drinking each other in, Aubrey making an occasional quiet whimpering noise that only he could hear that just pulled him even deeper. After some unknown amount of time, Aubrey buried her head in the crook of his shoulder and started planting little kisses there as Kel rocked them both back and forth ever so slightly.

"Don't let go," she whispered in that soft, shaky voice that she would only allow herself to use when her guard was down like this. "Please. I… I want this to last forever, Kel." Kel responded by tightening his grip around her waist.

Once Aubrey's hands started drifting down to the section of Kel's midriff left exposed by his shirt, though, Polly decided to intervene. The honk of the car horn sent Aubrey jumping backwards, eyes wide. Spotting Basil roaring with laughter from inside the car, she sent him a furious glare and stalked towards them.

"T-toilet!" Kel called to her retreating figure. "Tell them toilet!" He was aware of how weird that sounded given what they were just doing, but he did actually really need to go. Maybe all those pancakes were starting to catch up with him. Before he could embarrass himself any further, he turned and ran into Basil's house.

Once he was safely locked in the bathroom and seated upon his throne, he took the opportunity to yell and pump his fists. Aubrey had really said… that to him! Even though it was just written down and not spoken, he still felt the force of it as if she'd whispered it in his ear. It was beautiful. This was the best birthday ever.

A sudden vibration in his pants caught him off guard. He had to think for a second before he remembered that he had a phone now – despite how excited he'd been earlier, it had totally slipped his mind. Wait, so that meant this was his first real phone call! Who could it be? Was it his dad calling because he'd forgotten something? Was it one of those survey people? A telemarketer? The possibilities were endless!

He grabbed the phone out of the pocket of his pants, accepted the call without even looking at the number, lifted the phone to his ear, and shouted…

***

"THIS IS KEL…er, KELSEY MONTOYA ON HIS NEW PHONE! TALK TO ME AND I WILL TALK BACK! YEAH!"

Hero leaned away from his phone slightly as he was assaulted by the noise. He couldn't help but smile. It sounded like Kel was having a good day. His parents had called and told him Kel was very excited about his new phone, and given Hero his number so they could communicate. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to come in and maybe ruin the big day for him. But he'd committed now. There was no going back.

"Hey Kel," Hero said. "Happy birthday, man. How are you doing?"

Silence on the other end of the line – a long, painful silence that said more than any words could. Hero's smile faded. Before he called, he knew this was probably going to be an unpleasant conversation, but it was only now that he realized just how unpleasant it could end up being.

"I'm good," Kel said eventually, all emotion gone from his voice. The contrast to his eager greeting was enough to give Hero whiplash.

"That's good. How are you liking your new phone? Mom and Dad actually asked me for some ideas for your birthday, and that was what I suggested. Is everything working okay?"

"Yeah."

Hero was starting to sweat. It had only been about twenty seconds, but was already so much more painful than he could have anticipated. "That's… that's good! Uh, but don't blame me for the razor. That was all Mom. You know how she is."

Silence again. Hero wiped his brow. "So, uh… did the others get you anything nice?"

"Basil got me a plant. Aubrey got me a shirt."

"Wow. What type of plant?"

"Cactus."

Hero realized he'd started unconsciously tugging on his hair. It was a habit he'd picked up a while ago that usually only came out when he was studying. He laid his hand on the desk he was sitting at and eyed it. "Nice. Won't take too much work to keep it alive, huh? I guess that's why Basil gave it to you, heh."

"Basil gave it to me because it's meant to represent me. It represents strength and resilience." There was something sharp and reproachful in Kel's voice. "Your flower was a rose, remember? Universally loved."

Hero was starting to get the feeling that he was under interrogation and was giving wrong answers to all the questions. "Uh… sorry, I don't recall. Did Basil decide that too?"

"Yeah. He gave flowers to all of us."

"Oh. Well… it's good that you guys are all getting along again. Aubrey especially. I remember you guys weren't on great terms when I was last there, so it's really good that you've made amends."

"Yeah."

"And, uh… is Basil doing okay? I heard that he was in a wheelchair for a while. Is that a permanent thing? And is he doing good generally?"

"He's fine. He's not in a wheelchair anymore."

More silence as Hero grasped around for something to talk about. Every second felt stretched out to an absurd length. He chided himself. This was meant to be his thing. If he couldn't even hold a conversation with his own brother anymore, then what was there left for him?

It was Kel that ended up speaking. "Hero, I have to get to school."

"Oh, okay. Well, happy birthday again! And I just wanted to tell you that I'll be coming down for winter break. I wanted to tell you first. And I'll stay the whole break this time, I promise. I won't leave again."

More silence. After an excruciating amount of time sitting perfectly still, holding the phone to his ear in a desperate attempt to catch any noise Kel might have been making, he looked at his phone and realized Kel had hung up without him noticing. He sighed and set the phone down. How long had he been speaking to nobody for? Had Kel even heard Hero say that he was coming back to Faraway for winter break?

Despite his abject failure, Hero couldn't help but feel a little relieved that his torture was over. He looked over to his bed, where Jamie was lying facing him. Though his hair was all tangled and he was in pajamas, Jamie's eyes were clear and alert. "Seems like you're in the doghouse," he noted.

"Looks like it," Hero grumbled, rubbing his forehead. "Agh. I'll be honest, that went worse than I expected it to. I knew he probably wasn't going to be happy with me, but… Christ."

"Why would he not be happy with you?" Jamie asked. He could make innocuous questions seem very pointed, Hero had noticed. For a moment, Hero debated brushing the question off, but he'd made a promise to Jamie. No more pushing him away. Though that didn't necessarily mean he had to tell the whole truth.

"The last time I was in Faraway, some pretty bad things happened," he explained. "A couple of close friends of ours ended up in hospital. After that, things just got worse and worse. I barely left the house, and Kel wasn't much better. I lost contact with the others. Again. One day I decided I couldn't take being there anymore, so I packed up and left to come back here for the rest of the summer."

Jamie mulled that over for a bit. "Does this stuff have anything to do with Mari, by any chance?"

"Yes," Hero replied, but didn't elaborate. As much as he wanted to be honest and upfront with Jamie, there were so many things about Mari and the years afterwards that he couldn't bring himself to talk about. There were the obvious reasons, like keeping Sunny and Basil's secret, but more than that the entire topic was a pit of spikes. A step awry, and Hero would find himself plummeting again. Jamie seemed to understand that. He never pressed about anything related to Mari, simply letting Hero say whatever he was comfortable saying. It was one of the many reasons Hero loved him.

"So Kel didn't want you to leave," Jamie deduced.

"More than that. He begged me not to. I tried to sneak out when nobody was at home, but he caught me. He looked… God, I will never forget his face when he realized that I was leaving. But I couldn't stay. I just couldn't."

Jamie said nothing, simply studying him with those pale blue eyes. Hero suddenly felt the urge to justify himself. "Y-you don't really have the full context here. I… after Mari died, I locked myself inside for an entire year. I pretty much did nothing. After everything happened, I started to feel myself doing that again. Just existing, rotting. I couldn't stay. I know Kel wanted me to, but I would only have made things worse."

"I'm not condemning you, Hero. You don't have to defend yourself. But I think it's a good thing you're trying to talk to him, even if he won't talk back. Seems like you two have some things to discuss. Although I will say, on the topic of rotting, that what you just described sounds an awful lot like what Bowen told me you were doing when he first got here."

Hero averted his eyes. That was an accusation he couldn't deny. The rest of that summer had already faded into a formless blur in his mind, but he still remembered the exhaustion, the despair, the feeling that he was disappearing. Not for the first time, he wondered what would have happened to him if Bowen hadn't ended up being his roommate. Would he ever have re-emerged from his box? Or would he have gone Sunny's way?

Jamie sighed and reached out with one hand to take one of Hero's own. "Hero, you're great, but you're like a turtle sometimes. There are times where you've just gotta stand up and face what you're running from. And remember, I'll be with you if you need me. Or if you don't. I'm persistent like that. Now, come here. I'm cold."

Hero gladly obliged. He lay on his back across Jamie's stomach, nearly bumping his head against the side wall. Staring at the ceiling, he let out a deep sigh. Before he could get too deep into his head, though, he noticed that Jamie was sneakily pulling his shirt up. Shortly afterwards, he felt Jamie drumming some kind of rhythm on his stomach with his hands.

He smiled. "What are you doing?"

"Making music," Jamie replied. To prove his point, he tapped out a few paradiddles. His hands were a bit cold, but Hero would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying it a bit.

"Am I an instrument now?"

Jamie hummed. "You could be." He poked the soft flesh of Hero's side, causing him to gasp and jerk away. "Usually drums don't resist, though."

"You're mean," said Hero. "If you're not careful, I'll squash you."

"Please. I could bench press you."

That got Hero intrigued. "No way."

"Dude, you're like… what, 180? 190? I'm not saying I could do a full set, but once wouldn't be too hard."

"Prove it."

With a shrug, Jamie wiggled forward so that Hero was lying on top of his chest rather than his stomach. "Flip over," he advised. "It's gonna hurt a bit if I'm pressing on your stomach." Hero rolled over, and Jamie readied his hands on Hero's back.

Slowly but surely, Hero felt himself begin to lift into the air. Wow. He hadn't experienced this since… however long it had been since he'd gotten too big for his dad to do this to him. It was kinda nice.

"Man," Jamie grunted, "this bed is not doing me any favors. And I can't even… kiss you from down here… ugh…"

Hero dropped back to earth with a thud. He rolled over to see Jamie was red-faced and breathing heavily. Jamie's heartbeat was thumping away beneath him, and it was making his own heart race a bit. He crawled up the bed and straddled Jamie, drawing him into a deep kiss. Jamie whined a little and started running his hands up Hero's sides. Always a sucker for the love handles, this guy.

They broke away when Jamie ran out of breath, and Hero moved to his neck, leaving soft kisses on the delicate skin. "Better?" he asked smugly as Jamie groaned in response to his efforts.

"Yes… much…" Jamie said in between breaths. Hero smiled and moved back to see his boyfriend's face in all its glory. Laying there breathless, his tangled hair spread out on the pillow like a halo, Jamie could have been an art piece. Hero almost decided on taking things further, but a thought occurred to him.

"You'll have to meet my parents at some point," he said.

"True," Jamie replied, trying to steady his breathing. "When?"

"I'll be going down to Faraway for winter break. You could come as well. Obviously I'm not expecting you to stay over Christmas or anything, but at least for a few days. My birthday is on the first of January as well, so maybe after Christmas?"

"After Christmas," Jamie affirmed. "Probably after Boxing Day, actually. But yeah, that would be nice. Someone very wise once told me that they have very good burritos at your house."

"Alright then." Hero cracked his neck and winced as pain shot through it. All his joints felt so stiff these days. That was probably an issue. He didn't want to end up hobbling around like an old man at thirty. Jamie was always telling him to fix his posture when he studied – not that he was one to talk.

Jamie clasped his hands over his chest and chewed his lip thoughtfully. "Are you worried about how your parents are gonna take it?"

"Well… they're pretty traditional people, sure. But, to be honest, they've spent so long trying to get me to get over Mari that I think they'll be happy I found anyone, even if it's a guy. There was a time when they were basically trying to set me up with every girl my age in Faraway." He remembered an ill-fated lunch with Katie from Miss Candice's store in senior year, and shuddered. "Have you told your parents about us?"

"Yup."

"Were they bothered?"

Jamie rolled his eyes. "You ain't my first, Hero. But you're definitely my best. Mom and Dad tended not to like the type of person I chose in high school and first year. I guess they ended up being right, since none of them lasted very long. You're different, though. I'm pretty sure Mom thinks you're too good for me."

They both snickered a bit at that.

"But you are worried," Jamie continued. "I can tell. Is it Kel?"

Hero sighed and looked out the window. It was still very dark outside. Mornings in the cold months did have a kind of icy beauty to them, but Hero had never been one of those people who enjoyed the cold. "I don't know what Kel will say. I don't think he'll have a problem with you being a guy, but…"

"...I'm not Mari?" Jamie supplied.

"That, yeah. But also… agh, I don't know. I'm just getting a bit stressed thinking about it. Kel is great. You'll love him. He gets along with pretty much everyone, so I don't really think there'll be any problem. I guess I should be more concerned about his reaction to me, heh."

"And your other friends?" Jamie asked.

Memories blended together in Hero's mind. The younger versions of Sunny, Aubrey and Basil that he'd known so well were half-meshed with the older versions Hero had only seen for a day or two. Sunny was beyond his reach, and he had no complaints about that, but he did want to see Aubrey again. And then there was Basil.

"We were a really tight-knit group when we were younger," Hero said. "There were six of us: me, Kel, Mari, her brother, and two others called Aubrey and Basil. The others were a few years younger than me and Mari, but we still did basically everything together. Everything kind of came apart once she died. I saw some of them for a bit when I went back to Faraway in the summer, but not for very long. They're all sixteen now, except for Kel, obviously, and… different. They really miss Mari, but they shouldn't have any problem with you. Hopefully."

"Confident verdict," Jamie commented. "Well, if there are any holdouts, I will bring them over to my side with my winning personality and charm. No child is safe from me."

Hero wrinkled his nose and snorted. He got up from the bed and started stretching various limbs. The amount of cracking that was going on in his body disturbed him a bit. "You need a chiropractor," Jamie said as he got up as well. He started running his hands through his hair to break up the knots – a process Hero still couldn't believe wasn't extraordinarily painful, given the state of his bird's nest – and ambled over to Hero's closet in search of some proper clothes.

"How's Bobo doing?" he asked, gesturing over to Bowen's empty bed. Bowen's new job started very early, and on the days he was working he was usually gone before Hero even woke up.

"He's been a bit antsy," Hero replied, trying and failing miserably to touch his toes. "You can tell everything going on with his family is starting to affect him. I don't think he's baked anything here in a week. Whenever I ask, though, he just kind of mumbles at me. He says he's enjoying the bakery job, though."

Jamie sighed. "I can't get through to him either. I've tried to talk to him about it a few times, but… yeah, just mumbling. I hope he's doing okay. Given that he's your roommate, he should know better when it comes to the whole 'I strong, I no talk' thing."

Hero raised an eyebrow at him, and Jamie wiggled his in return as he slipped on one of his shirts he kept in Hero's closet. Since this was Jamie, the shirt was salmon pink.

"Have you still been having trouble breathing when you wake up?"

"Sometimes," Hero admitted. "Not nearly as often recently, though. As ordered, I've been trying to keep to six hours of sleep at minimum."

"Good," replied the orderer in question, struggling to put his pants on. "Man, I must be getting fatter. I swear these pants aren't usually this hard. Anyway, remember that the average person should be having trouble breathing on zero occasions. Especially the average nineteen year old. Keep working on it."

"Aye aye," said Hero, chuckling as Jamie managed to trip himself over in an effort to get his pants past his hips. "You doing alright down there?"

"I'm good, thank you. I've got a class in twenty minutes, so it's about time for me to go. Once I manage to get dressed, that is. May I please have a kiss?"

"You may," Hero agreed. As Jamie got back to his feet, Hero walked over to him and gave him what he asked for. The tension in Hero's mind eased as he just focused on the feeling of his lips against Jamie's. It was a feeling he never got tired of.

"Heh. Thanks. Don't study too hard today, okay? I know finals are coming up, but that's not an excuse to stop taking care of yourself again. Take breaks."

Hero laughed. "You sound like my mom. But yes, I will take breaks. Have a good day."

Notes:

You may be wondering why I put cactiflower bait in this kelbrey fic. This is because I strongly believe that all male friendships are better with a sprinkling of sexual tension. This might also be true for female friendships, but I haven't done enough research to make a solid conclusion on this.

New chapter in one week! It will be a very big one (both in length and importance).

Chapter 16: The Dreamers

Summary:

Kel goes on a date. Hero makes an unwelcome discovery.

Notes:

Big one this week. It'll be worth it, though.

Twenty minutes before he was meant to leave to pick up Aubrey, Kel realized he had to find something to wear. He'd spent so long rehearsing what he was going to say that he'd forgotten that you couldn't wear stinky sports jerseys on dates. But what did you wear? What did Hero wear on his dates? Kel racked his brain to try to remember, but it was so long ago the memories were fuzzy. He did remember that Mari usually wore some kind of dress, but… would Aubrey really do that? Did she even own any dresses? So many questions. Not enough time to answer all of them.

He frantically pawed through his closet, looking for anything that might save him. There were those weird short-sleeved dress shirts Kim had convinced his mom to buy back when school started. He held one up in front of him and pondered it. Maybe… but then what about the pants? He couldn't wear the matching shorts. It was November! He'd freeze to death.

Wait, he could probably just raid Hero's closet, couldn't he? His lip curled at the prospect, but that really seemed like the only way to get some semi-formal clothing to wear. Kel didn't normally do formal.

He crossed over to the other side of the room and peered into his brother's closet. It was pretty much empty, seeing as Hero had taken most of it with him when he ran off back to college, but there were still a couple of things left. One of them was a pair of black pants that were a bit nasty-looking but were probably the best he could do in the circumstances. Sighing, he put them on. They fit nicely. He didn't like that.

Now he just needed a shirt. It didn't look like Hero had anything to help him there, so he ran back over to his own closet and rummaged through it again. Where did all these gamer shirts keep coming from? Kel swore there were more of them every time he checked. He spotted a shirt sitting at the back of the closet that looked like it was one of Basil's, back when everyone used to come around all the time.

Basil… flowers…

Ah, crap. He was meant to go to the forest yesterday and pick some flowers for Aubrey. How did he forget about that? Now there definitely was no time to lose. There was no way he'd be able to run out to the forest and pick enough flowers in time, so he'd have to make do with a quick visit to Fix-It. He had to choose something quickly so he had time to get there before heading to Basil's house.

A shirt caught his eye: a gag gift Hero had gotten him for his birthday last year. It was a t-shirt with a tuxedo pattern on it, bowtie and all. It'd have to do. Kel slipped it on, wincing as he felt the fabric stretch – he'd grown a lot over the past year – and sprinted downstairs, barely remembering to grab his wallet as he went.

His dad was sitting on the couch downstairs watching TV. "Why are you dressed like that?" he asked, but Kel had flown out the front door before he could even finish his question.

Man, it was cold outside. The choice to wear a t-shirt quickly seemed like a bad one. Kel accelerated his pace to generate some body heat and sprinted all the way to Fix-It. While running, he tried to remember which flowers he was supposed to be buying. He'd asked Basil about it, but he couldn't for the life of him remember what he'd said. Did Aubrey have a favorite flower? He didn't think so. But he did at least remember that Basil had assigned her a gladiolus. Maybe that was a safe bet. Did Fix-It even have gladio… gladioluses?

Luckily they did in fact have gladiol i , as the cashier kindly informed him. Kel emerged from Fix-It with a nice bouquet of gladiolus flowers and headed to Basil's place. Despite the cold, he started to sweat as he walked up to the front door. He ran through his opening line in his head. He'd spent a long time perfecting it. Would Aubrey like it?

He knocked.

He waited.

He was starting to get a little nervous…

The door swung open. Aubrey stood behind it, dressed exactly the same as she normally did. As soon as she saw who it was, she started snickering.

"Dude. What are you wearing?"

"I got you some flowers," Kel recited, holding the bouquet out to her, "so that you can… no, they can bloom like you bloom… in my… heart…"

As he was speaking, Basil walked up behind Aubrey and gave Kel a shy wave. Kel went a little red. Basil wasn't meant to hear that. Agh, he messed it up!

"Sorry, I'll start again. Uh, I got you some flowers…"

"I can see that," Aubrey said, taking the bouquet from him. "Uh, thanks for that. But, like, am I supposed to carry these around while we go and do whatever we're doing?"

Gah, he knew he'd forgotten about something when coming up with this plan. Luckily, Basil came to the rescue. "I can hold onto them for you! It's no trouble. These are some very nice gladioli, by the way. Did you get them from Fix-It?"

"Yes!" Kel said proudly. "Wait, uh… no, I picked them myself! From the… woods…?"

Aubrey tried and failed to hide her smile. "Oh my God, Kel. You're gonna kill me if you keep up like that. Basil, thanks for keeping the flowers. We'd better get going before Kel starts short-circuiting."

"Okay. You guys have fun!" Basil gave them a final wave before closing the door behind them. Now that they were alone, Aubrey folded her arms and looked him up and down, smiling. Kel started to blush, and he checked the time on his new phone.

"Oh, I'm two minutes late! Sorry about that. I hope I didn't keep you waiting."

"Kel, you didn't tell me what time you were going to come over. You also didn't tell me you were gonna be… uh, 'dressing up'? You gotta prepare me next time. I was not ready for the tuxedo shirt."

His face burned. "Eh… sorry. I guess I lost track of stuff a bit. I spent a lot of time preparing for this."

"I bet you did. That line about the flowers was quite something."

Kel couldn't see his own face, but he could take a guess at how red it was. "Oh… did you not like it? Maybe it was kinda bad. Agh, I'm messing everything up, aren't I?"

Aubrey giggled, moved his head so they were making eye contact, and kissed him. Kel's stomach did backflips, and he hugged Aubrey close to him (and not just because he was actually really cold). Aubrey's arms moved up to cling to Kel's neck. She had to stand on her tiptoes to kiss him properly.

"Never stop being you, Kel," she said when they broke apart. "If you'd had an actual plan for this date, I would have asked you where you put the real Kel."

"I do have a plan," Kel protested. "I come to Basil's house, give you the flowers, say the line, and then… uh…"

How the heck did he forget to plan anything after the flowers? What was he even doing? There was no way Hero would have made a mistake like that. He was getting so wrapped up inside his own head that he didn't even notice Aubrey burying her head into his chest, sobbing with laughter.

"You are such a dumbass," she said. "But you're my dumbass. Never change."

It'd be hard to want to travel back in time as much as Kel did right now. "Aghhhh. Okay. Okay. So… what the heck are we going to do?"

"Something warm, I think," Aubrey suggested, disentangling herself from him and wiping her eyes. "Your arms are cold. I can't believe you actually went for a t-shirt. It's the middle of November."

"I know, I know! I just… ran out of time. Urk." Okay. Stuff that was warm. Kel was blanking. Warm. What was warm? Exercise? No, he couldn't take Aubrey on a freaking jog for their first date, that would be ridiculous. But what about…

"...basketball?" he offered tentatively. "We can practise at the park! I can teach you, like, shots and stuff. Agh, no! That's a terrible idea."

Aubrey was still grinning broadly. "That's fine by me. Might need a basketball, though. Unless you wanna go fishing through the bushes for one?"

"Nah, I've got it. My house is on the way there, kind of, so we can just stop there and I can pick up my basketball. Oh, and I could use the new one I got for my birthday! It's really cool, actually. It bounces so well."

"Let's go, then."

As they walked back towards Kel's house, he swallowed and remembered what Basil had taught him. He offered his hand out to Aubrey. For a few painful seconds she didn't notice, but eventually she turned slightly and spotted it. Now it was her blushing like crazy. She looked around a bit before taking his hand. It was very warm. Kel squeezed it a bit like he did with Basil, and was pleased to see that he got a similar result. Aubrey bumped him in return, her tomato-red face aimed squarely at the ground. Not a word was exchanged.

As they kept walking and the initial exuberance wore off, Kel started to shiver. This stupid shirt wasn't doing anything for him. The breeze cut straight through it, even though it was tiny. He tried to hide his shivering from Aubrey, but she caught on quickly. She stopped walking, let go of his hand, and took off her jacket.

"H-huh? You're giving me your jacket?"

"Dude, you're shivering," Aubrey pointed out.

"But… that… isn't that me who's supposed to do that? Like, in every movie I've seen it's always the guy who gives the girl his jacket."

Aubrey tilted her head. "And which one of us has a jacket?"

"Uh… you?"

"Exactly. But if it really offends your masculinity that much, don't worry. It's only for a bit. Once we get to your house, you can get one for yourself."

Kel grumbled a bit, but he couldn't deny that he was absolutely freezing. He put on the offered jacket. It smelled like Aubrey. He looked up to see that Aubrey was wearing a black woollen top underneath that looked absolutely toasty. He didn't remember seeing her wear it before.

"This is one of Polly's tops," she explained, noticing him staring. "She gave it to me because I don't really have anything warm besides this jacket. Gave me a lot of advice too. Apparently she's a real expert at this whole dating thing."

"Advice?" Kel asked, raising an eyebrow. "Like what?"

Aubrey smirked. "Don't worry about it. Girls' secret. Let's get to your house before you end up ripping my jacket. You are way too big for it." She was kind of right, Kel had to admit. He couldn't actually zip up the jacket, and the ends of the sleeves were up at his elbows. If he let his arms fall to his sides, the jacket pulled so much at the shoulders that it felt like it was about to rip, so he had to walk holding his arms out to the side. Aubrey kept chuckling whenever she looked at him.

When they did finally make it to Kel's house, the two of them lingered on the front doorstep for a moment. Questions started flooding Kel's mind again. Should he invite her inside? That was probably the polite thing to do, but then his parents would see everything. They probably wouldn't mind too much since they'd known Aubrey for a while (well, the younger Aubrey at least), but was she okay with people knowing they were dating? Judging by the clouded look on Aubrey's face, she was having some thoughts of her own.

"Do you… wanna come in?" Kel asked.

Before Aubrey could answer, the front door swung open to reveal Kel's dad. "I knew you'd come back for a jacket!" he exclaimed. "It's way too cold for… wait, Aubrey, is that you? Oh, it's been ages! I think I've seen you around at church a few times. I was meaning to come up and chat, but never really got around to it. Wait…"

His dad's gaze flicked back and forth between the two of them, noting the jacket Kel was wearing that very obviously was not his, and his eyes widened. Kel felt the blood rushing to his face. "Gotta go upstairs!" he cried, shoving past his dad and running for his room. The fact that he'd just left Aubrey to face his dad alone only occurred to him as he was running up the stairs, and he hissed. Ah well. Too late for that now. He sprinted into his room, grabbed the basketball sitting under his bed, and went through his closet again. After emptying half of its contents onto the floor, he finally located a hoodie and sprinted back downstairs.

Unfortunately, others had gotten there before him. A very red-faced Aubrey was standing with both of his parents in the living room, and her eyes sent him a clear plea for help as soon as she spotted him. Both of his parents turned to face him as well.

"Our little Kel is all grown up now!" his dad declared, beaming with pride. "I knew you'd make it someday. You should have just asked me for some clothes. I've got some suits tucked away in the closet from back when I used to take your mother on fancy dinner dates."

"Why don't we do those anymore?" his mom asked sadly.

Kel rushed over, grabbed Aubrey's hand, and dragged her towards the open front door. "Sorry, guys. Me and Aubrey are gonna go now! See you… uh, sometime!"

"But I haven't even given her any food to take with you!" his mom protested. "Do not tell me you're going to take her to Gino's, Kelsey!"

Kel slammed the door behind them, and the two ran down the driveway and out into the street. Aubrey began to laugh uncontrollably, hugging her sides. She sat down on the pavement and started cackling, tears streaming down her face. Kel stood over her and stared dubiously. Was he meant to do something here?

"Oh," Aubrey gasped in between laughs. "Oh, man. We are so hopeless, Kel. We are so hopeless. Holy shit." She stood up but immediately sagged into him, still giggling.

"They didn't give you any trouble, did they?" Kel asked.

"Well, they asked how long we've been dating for. They asked if you've been good to me. Oh yeah, and they asked if you've done anything other than make me play basketball with you."

Kel muttered something under his breath, which made Aubrey start giggling again. "In hindsight," she said, "that was kinda funny. I don't know why I was so freaked out. Ah, man." She locked one of her arms around Kel's. Now that she wasn't wearing her jacket, Kel could feel a lot more of her body heat. It was nice. Kel fought off the urge to squeeze her bicep. She probably wouldn't take that very well.

Then Aubrey stopped again. "Wait. I can't believe I nearly forgot. Give me back my jacket." Kel obediently wrestled with the jacket, trying to get it off him without ripping anything while Aubrey watched with undisguised amusement. When he did manage to get it off, Aubrey laughed as the tuxedo shirt was revealed again.

"You didn't change out of that? Kinda respect it."

Kel grumbled to himself again and handed over Aubrey's jacket, putting on the hoodie he'd grabbed from his room. She slipped it on and, to Kel's shock, did a little twirl just like she always used to do when they were younger. She seemed to immediately feel self-conscious about it, though, crossing her arms and looking away.

"No, no, that wasn't…" Kel tried.

"Shut up," Aubrey replied, but there was no heat behind it. She linked her arm with his again and marched them off towards the park. Kel took a moment to admire the swaying motion of Aubrey's bow as she walked, but blushed and faced straight forward again when Aubrey caught him looking.

They made it to the park, which would usually be busy, given that it was a Saturday, but it was actually pretty quiet now due to the cold. As they stepped onto the basketball court, Kel gave his ball a few experimental bounces and grinned as it flew right back up into his hands. This was a good one.

"So, coach," said Aubrey. "What are we doing first?"

Kel chewed his lip. "Hm. Why don't you show me what you've got first? Then we can see where there's room to improve, and Coach Kel will help."

"I regret calling you that already," Aubrey said, grabbing the ball and marching off to the three point line. "Okay, so do you want me to… uh, shoot?"

Kel gave her a big grin and a thumbs up. "Yeah!"

Aubrey scoffed and turned away, trying and failing to conceal her flushed cheeks. She held the ball above her head and threw it at the net. It hit the backboard and bounced off.

"Okay, that was good!" Kel said, jogging over to grab the ball before returning to Aubrey's side. "But I see what's happening. Your shot technique could be better. Here, lemme show you." He placed the ball in Aubrey's hands and moved behind her, guiding her arms into the correct position. "See, when you're shooting, you actually want most of the motion to be in your wrist. You should be able to just basically–"

Aubrey swivelled her head around and pecked him on the lips, flashing him a devious smile before returning to her previous position. Kel was dumbfounded. "H-hey! I've lost my train of thought now…"

"Coach should be able to handle some distractions. Now c'mon. You were telling me how to shoot?"

"Y-yeah. Okay, so, the wrists–"

She did it again.

"You… you're doing that on purpose, aren't you?"

"No idea what you're talking about. Carry on, please. You were saying something about my wrists?"

"Uh, yeah. So, if you keep your hands in this position, you should be able to just basically flick your wrist–"

And again. Aubrey started giggling, and Kel couldn't help but join in.

"Stop! Stop kissing the coach! That's weird."

"Maybe you should try that one out yourself," Aubrey taunted him. "I hear you and the old fart who runs the school basketball team aren't on good terms. That could be your ticket in."

Kel stuck out his tongue in disgust. Aubrey immediately took the opportunity to inhale it into her own mouth, which took him by surprise. Before he could really get settled in, though, she broke off the kiss, flashed another jaunty smile at him, and started running away with his ball. Laughing, Kel gave chase.

"Is this good technique?" Aubrey asked, hurling the ball at him full force. 

Kel caught it deftly and spun it on his finger. "Nope. But this will be." He hurled the ball back at her. She batted it away with a shriek. Both of them chased after it, trying to grab it before the other could. Aubrey got to it a fraction of a second before Kel could and backed off, gearing up for another throw. Kel grinned and crouched, wiggling his fingers. He managed to catch it about half an inch away from his nose.

The two of them ran around like that for a while, pelting each other with the ball just like old times. Aubrey was breathless with laughter, her face red from exertion and her eyes sparkling. Kel couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her like that. It made him feel warm. The smile wouldn't leave his face.

Eventually, Aubrey caught the ball for the final time and dropped it, breathing heavily with her hands on her knees. Kel wiped the sweat off his forehead and walked over to her. Once he got close enough, Aubrey pulled him into a hug and leaned against him, her bow tickling his nose as it always did. He could feel her rapid heartbeat pulsing even through all the layers of clothing.

"Sorry for not bringing any water," Kel said, chuckling guiltily. "Probably should have thought of that. Maybe we can, like… drink out of the lake or something?"

Aubrey snorted and shook her head. "Nope. Hungry. We can get water wherever we're getting lunch."

"Okay, about that. I don't really have a plan for where we're gonna get lunch."

"I know you don't," Aubrey replied. "But you know as well as I do that the plan's always the same. I'm gonna count down, and we'll say it together."

Three. Two. One. "Gino's!" Kel gave her a guilty smile again and scratched the back of his neck. "Man, I'm not very good at this, am I?"

Aubrey smirked. "Kel, shut up. If I wanted a guy who would plan these big, elaborate dates for me, I'd go after your brother. You are you. That's what I… that's what I like about you so much." A dusting of pink appeared on her cheeks as she said that. "Maybe don't tell your mom, though. I feel like if she knew you were taking me to get pizza she'd yell at you."

Too right. Kel was not looking forward to whatever dating lessons his parents had inevitably conjured up for him when he got home. Mom was always telling Hero to buy things for Mari back in the day. Kel's wallet couldn't handle that kind of extravagance, at least not without drastically cutting the pizza budget.

They were blasted with hot air as soon as they walked into Gino's – with the oven and the air conditioning running at the same time, it was toasty warm. It looked like half the population of Faraway was enjoying the warmth. Kel frantically peered around, looking for a free table.

"Oh no," he groaned. "It's full. What the heck? Maybe I should've booked a reservation. Does this place even do reservations?"

Aubrey giggled. "Kel, it's a pizza place. I don't think they do reservations. Maybe you could have begged for one over the phone, though. 'Dude, I've got a date today and I've literally planned nothing! You gotta help me out here!'"

Kel wrinkled his nose. "Cesar wouldn't help me. He doesn't like me because I order sandwiches. And also because I don't work here."

"Maybe he should just take the sandwiches off the fucking menu then?"

"That's what I've been saying! I don't know what his deal is. Apparently the owner likes them, but does that really mean he has to keep them on the menu?"

"Don't convince him," Aubrey chuckled. "Hero will be mad if he comes back and sees that his precious sandwich isn't sold here anymore."

"Good," Kel said sullenly, before violently shaking his head. "Uh, sorry. Thinking about bad stuff again."

"Don't apologize for having thoughts," Aubrey said, slipping an arm around his waist after a nervous look at the other patrons, none of whom were looking at them. "In fact, you should talk about them more often. As I keep telling you."

Kel blushed and brought his arm around Aubrey's waist as well. She stiffened up a bit, again glancing at the people around them, but made no protest. He hugged her to him tightly, and she leaned her head a bit against his shoulder.

They eventually made it through the queue to the front counter, where a very stressed-looking Cesar the cashier was sweating bullets. "My driver bailed on me again," he hissed, jabbing his finger towards the 'Help Wanted' sign. Aubrey's gaze lingered on it for a while. "I have deliveries coming out of my ears right now! Can I get a little help?"

"Not right now," replied Aubrey. "We'll have a cheese pizza."

"Large meatlovers, actually," Kel said cheerfully. "And a bottle of water!" There was no way he was gonna cheap out on pizza on the first date. Cesar rang up the order, still grumbling, while Aubrey eyed Kel as he handed over the money.

"That's expensive," she muttered to him as they stepped away from the counter to wait. "I didn't want to make you spend all that money."

"But I want a meatlovers?" asked a confused Kel. Aubrey just grunted and turned away, taking a deep swig from the bottle of water. He got the feeling he'd done something wrong somehow.

Eventually their order was called, and Kel jogged over to the counter to grab the pizza. When he came back, Aubrey was rummaging through her pockets. She took out a crumpled-up $5 bill and pressed it into his pocket. Kel, his hands full, couldn't resist. "Huh? But I was paying for both of us…"

"No you're not," Aubrey replied. "Just take it, Kel. I'm not gonna let you spend that much money on me. I'm already basically living off charity from Basil's parents."

Her tone brooked no argument, so Kel just nodded despite his confusion. "Okay, so… where are we gonna eat this? It's still packed in here."

"Outside, I guess?"

They decided on sitting on the bench next to the fountain, balancing the pizza box on their legs. Despite how busy it was, the pizza was as high quality as ever: gooey cheese, meaty meat, and… saucy sauce? Kel had to keep reminding himself to leave enough for Aubrey, though she was also chowing through it at an impressive pace. Out of nowhere, she started giggling.

"Huh?" Kel asked, before realizing his mouth was full and covering it.

"I'm just thinking about Hero taking Mari out on a date to play basketball and eat pizza," Aubrey explained. "Can you imagine? That would be so funny."

Kel chuckled a bit before the realization hit him and he dropped his pizza slice. "Oh man," he groaned. "I've totally stuffed this up, haven't I?" The more he thought about it, the worse he felt. Basketball? This was his first date with Aubrey, and he took her to play basketball? And freaking pizza for lunch? They already had pizza, like, every couple of weeks! Why was he so disorganized? Why couldn't he just get it together and plan a decent time for the girl he really liked…

His thoughts were disrupted by Aubrey poking his nose. "Kel, whatever it is you're thinking, shut up. I'm having a good time, okay? I don't want anything big anyway. I wouldn't be comfortable with that. So just enjoy yourself, nerd." With that, she kissed him, one hand coming up to cup his cheek. It left greasy stains on his skin. He didn't care in the slightest. As she drew away, Kel spotted a piece of beef stuck at the side of her mouth, picked it off, and laughed at her startled reaction.

"Gross," she said, laughing as well. "You're not actually gonna eat that, are you?" Kel popped the beef into his mouth, and she fake gagged.

Eventually the pizza was done, and the two sat together on the bench, hands entwined, watching the cars go in and out of the Othermart parking lot. At one point, the wind started to pick up, sending leaves and random trash skittering across the ground. A group of kids coming out of Gino's squealed as pizza boxes went flying out of their hands. Aubrey's hair started whipping Kel in the face, so she settled her head in the crook of his neck.

It was cold. It was blustery. It was cloudy. But Kel didn't want to be anywhere else in the world, not for a million dollars. Sitting there, he felt like he had everything he needed. Everything bothering him – Hero, Sunny, his parents – felt so distant. There was only the wind nipping at his rosy cheeks, the cold metal of the bench beneath him, and the girl sitting beside him, warm enough to make this miserable late fall day seem like a golden summer afternoon…

…and now Kim and Vance as well, sprinting out of Othermart with plastic bags stuffed with candy tucked under their coats. As they ran by, Kim spotted the two of them and came to a screeching halt, gaping at the sight. Kel expected Aubrey to get up and go over to them, as she usually did whenever they met any of the Hooligans while the two of them were out together, but she stayed put. Instead she just waved at Kim. Vance tugged on his sister's sleeve, and the two made their escape before Miss Candice could come after them, though not before Kim shot Kel a glare. Kel smiled weakly. That was one relationship that would need a bit more effort to patch up; she was still angry at him for… well, a lot of things relating to Aubrey. But that was a problem for another day.

He remembered his birthday: not the weirdly bittersweet day it had become after he'd talked to Hero for the first time in months, but before that, when it had seemed like a day as perfect as this one. "I don't think I ever thanked you for that letter you gave me for my birthday," he said. "It was really nice. So thank you for that." Especially the three words on the back, he thought, but that part didn't need to be said out loud. They both knew what he meant.

Aubrey was quiet for a bit before answering. "Yknow, you never said it back."

Kel blushed. "W-well… you didn't say it! You wrote it."

She gave him an unamused grunt. There was a very obvious option open to him, yet Kel found himself hesitating. Would Aubrey like it if he said that? Would it make her uncomfortable? She'd written it to him, so obviously she couldn't feel that bad about it, but, like… people were weird sometimes!

Ah, screw it. 

"I love you, Aubrey," he said, his voice mercifully not cracking.

He'd never seen someone go so red so fast. She hid her face from him, covering it up with the fabric of his hoodie, but no amount of covering up could disguise that. Briefly, Kel wondered if he'd done something wrong. Had that been too fast? But then Aubrey raised her head again, her shining teal eyes meeting his, and he knew he'd done the right thing.

"I…"

Kel waited.

"I love you too, Kel."

She didn't give him a chance to respond. Instead, she climbed into his lap and kissed him. This one wasn't as passionate as they sometimes were. This was joy – the joy of finding something that had been lost for so long – and desperation, a plea not to let it go.

"I… I missed you," she said plaintively, keeping their foreheads touching. "I missed you so much, Kel."

"Me too," Kel replied. "I'm here now. We're here now."

The tears were flowing down Aubrey's face, and she did nothing to stop them. She hugged him, holding him so tightly it almost hurt, but Kel didn't mind. After all, he was holding her just as close.

Only one question remained. "So… am I, like, your boyfriend now?"

"What? Were you not before?"

"Well… you never said anything, so I guess I just assumed…"

He trailed off. Aubrey was quiet for a few seconds. Then she started alternately chuckling and sniffling into his shoulder. Kel couldn't help but join in.

Sometimes he really did feel like an idiot.

***

Not many things compared to the rush of finishing the last exam. As Hero walked out of the exam hall, he felt physically lighter, like he was walking on the moon. Someone dropped a bunch of books everywhere on their way out, and Hero swooped in to help pick them up with a graceful smile. It had been a while since he'd been in such a good mood.

His preparation had really paid off for this one. He didn't like to overstate things when it came to exam performance, but he felt like he'd done well. Pretty much all of his finals had gone well. Even the chemistry one had gone well, and Hero had been stressing a bit about that one because of how effortlessly good his boyfriend seemed to be at the subject. Even the prospect of his return to Faraway in a couple of days couldn't break through the euphoria right now. His parents had been calling a lot, asking about his exams and talking about the feast they'd throw for him when he came back.

He hadn't told them about Jamie yet. That was something he wanted to wait to do in person. Also, he wanted Kel to hear it, and Kel wasn't taking any more of his calls. That… was fine. He'd deal with that once he got back to Faraway.

Despite the fact that the exam had ended at midday, the post-exam nap instinct started to settle in as Hero made his way back to the dorms. He'd been going pretty hard recently – not as hard as he went during the worst parts of that awful summer, but pretty hard – and he was starting to think about how soft his pillow was. But no. The others definitely wouldn't let him do that. Jamie had made it very clear that they were going to go out and do something together in celebration, since Hero happened to be the last one to finish, and that attendance was compulsory.

Thinking of Jamie made Hero smile. In the past couple of weeks, with pretty much all free time dedicated to studying, he hadn't seen him a whole lot. They still called each other, and sometimes they'd visit each others' rooms briefly since they lived so close, but Hero was excited to have a properly good time with him again. Even his usually exuberant boyfriend wasn't immune to the stresses of exam season.

On the other hand, he'd been spending a lot of time with Bowen by necessity. Hero wasn't sure if his roommate was more stressed about his exams or about going back home afterwards. It was a little concerning, but hopefully the celebrations would ease his mind. Also, Daphne had arrived today (though Hero hadn't been there to see it due to having a pesky exam to do), and Bowen always seemed a little more comfortable when his sister was there. Hero hoped things would turn out well for him. It made him realize how fortunate he was that his parents were just a bit overbearing sometimes and not… whatever you would describe Bowen's parents as, particularly his dad. He tried to think of a polite word for it, but it was difficult. 'Stern' didn't really seem to cut it.

He opened the door to his room to find the other three already there, as expected. They were all sitting at the dining table, which had a bunch of pamphlets strewn across it. Jamie was flipping through one of them, pointing at it and talking excitedly. "They've got some crazy new stuff in here. I heard they've got these new realistic type… oh! Hey, Hero!"

Before Hero had the chance to say anything, Jamie crossed the room to him and kissed him. Hero took the opportunity to explore his hair, which was much shorter and much tidier than normal as a result of Bowen convincing him to get a haircut for the first time in some number of months Hero had blocked out of his mind in order to retain his respect for his boyfriend. When it wasn't all tangled up, it was actually quite soft and silky.

"You like it?" Jamie asked, leaning into the touch.

"I do," Hero replied, grinning at him. "Hey, guys. How are you two doing?"

"I have been well," said Daphne, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "The bakery has been busy recently, which has made our parents quite happy. The Christmas-themed goods are selling very well this year."

"I have taken the opportunity to get proper sleep again," Bowen added. "I must admit I underestimated college exams. Though Jamie keeps telling me that business exams are… how did you put it? 'For babies'."

"True," Jamie chimed in. "Speaking of exams, somebody's looking proud of himself. I take it that means you did well?"

"I'm not looking proud of myself," Hero denied, trying to suppress his smile. "I'm just happy that exams are over. I would never presume to say I did well before actually knowing."

"Bullshit. That is the face of a man who knows his parents will be proud of him. I'll have to give you your proper reward for that a bit later. I know how… excited you get when you get good grades, so I'll try to keep up."

"Okay, that is just not true," Hero objected, but Jamie breezily ignored him. Daphne went a little red and covered her mouth with her hand to hide a chuckle.

Jamie walked back over to the dining table and picked up the pamphlet he'd been looking at. "We've got more important things to consider right now. Check out this bad boy. This arcade megaplex thing just opened in Center, which is only two hours away by car. And by just opened I mean literally last weekend. Over 80 machines. A full bar-restaurant thing. And check out those prizes! That's a PS2 there, for those of us who don't know their gaming consoles."

"I didn't realize you were such a gamer," Hero said, looking at the photos in the pamphlet. It did look pretty sleek, but also expensive. Besides, an arcade? Really?

"Yeah, I'm not lame. You better not be lame either, because we've already decided."

"Have we?" Hero asked, directing the question at the twins. They both nodded.

"Jamie was very convincing," Bowen explained. Jamie beamed at him.

"I sense doubt," Jamie said, poking Hero in the nose. "Stop doubting. This will be loads of fun. It's a weekday afternoon, so the place probably won't be as busy as it would be on a weekend. Plus, we could set high scores on all the machines, since barely anyone has played them yet! Then we can watch those snotty little kids try and fail to beat our amazing scores."

Hero couldn't help but smile. "Weirdly sadistic fantasy, but fine. I can get behind this. So are we going to be leaving now?"

"Yep!" said Jamie. "I'll drive us. My car is–"

"No," Bowen interrupted, narrowing his eyes. "I refuse to set foot in your car. I will take us." Jamie stuck his tongue out at him.

"Hang on, what about lunch?" Hero asked. "Exams are hungry work."

"There's a Utah Fried Chicken just off the highway outside Nearby City," Jamie said. "We can stop off there for some drive-thru goodness. This might be an unpopular opinion, but my favorite thing to get there is corn on the cob."

"Do you just have encyclopedic knowledge of every fast food place within a twenty mile radius?" Hero asked. "Also, run the corn thing by me again?"

"Yes to the first question, no to the second. Let's get going!"

About five seconds after they got into the car, Daphne brought out the first of her NSYNC CDs. She started singing along, Jamie joining in with the lyrics he knew and making random noises for the ones he didn't (most of them). Her voice was really nice, Hero noted with surprise. Even Bowen was bobbing his head back and forth, though he was keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the road. Jamie kept nudging and poking Hero, sitting next to him in the back, trying to get him to sing as well.

"I don't know any of these songs, Jamie!" Hero laughed, nudging Jamie back.

"You don't need to! I know barely any of these. It's all about the vibe, you know? Oh, by the way, Daph. What did you think of Justin's album last month?"

"Oh, don't say that," Bowen warned. Daphne proved him right by swivelling around in the passenger seat and glaring at Jamie.

"They will get back together," she snarled. "The fact that Justin has released a solo album means nothing. They are on hiatus. They will iron out their creative differences and return better than ever next year. I know it."

Jamie raised his hands. "Okay, okay! Point taken! I was just wondering whether you liked it or not."

"I did," Daphne grumbled, turning to face forwards again.

When they pulled into the UFC (at the insistence of the twins, they would eat inside and not in the car), Jamie was devastated to find that they were no longer selling corn on the cob. He comforted himself with a giant burger that Hero was impressed could even fit in his mouth. Hero himself just settled for some nuggets and chips, and both of the twins did much the same.

"Isn't this great?" Jamie asked after vacuuming up the last of his burger. "Aren't we all feeling better already? Man, I'm so excited thinking about all the cool stuff I'll get to play at the arcade."

"You're right," Hero admitted. "It's nice to just hang out again. Things have been so busy recently."

"I agree," said Bowen, carefully dipping a chip in his gravy. "Rest and relaxation is important. Jamie knows this very well."

"Hey. I worked my ass off for these exams. Don't you go around insinuating that I'm lazy. It's a bit rich coming from the guy whose finals are all basic addition quizzes."

"That is an exaggeration!" Bowen fired back. As the two started going back and forth, Daphne caught Hero's eye and giggled. Hero smiled. It had been way too long since he'd had a proper conversation with her, especially given how close they had been when they were younger. He'd kind of lost contact with her after he'd started dating Mari. Maybe he could start to remedy that.

Once Jamie and Bowen had finished debating the merits of their respective majors, they got back out on the road again. The unbroken stream of NSYNC continued. Once it got to the most popular songs, even Bowen started singing along, his rich (though slightly off-key) baritone nicely complementing Daphne and Jamie.

Jamie started tugging at Hero's sleeve. "Come on, Hero! Join us! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeroooooooooooooooooo…"

"Fine! Fine! I'll sing!" And he started to sing as well, at least for the parts he knew the words to. It wasn't very good, but everyone cheered him on anyway. By the time it was over, Hero was blushing like a total idiot. It didn't help when Jamie, cackling like a madman, leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek.

The city of Center looked like it had even worse traffic than Nearby City. They slowed to a crawl as they passed through the downtown area, heading for the gigantic shopping complex that housed the new arcade. "Enjoying this, Daph?" Jamie asked. "I bet you never get the joys of gridlock in Faraway."

"We certainly do not," Daphne agreed, looking at the footpaths seething with people. "I see why some people get overwhelmed by the city."

Eventually Bowen took them through the snarl of traffic on the streets and into the snarl of traffic inside the complex's parking lot. Jamie kept 'helpfully' calling out whenever they passed a spot he thought they could park in, most of which were illegal. Once they did find a legal parking space, Jamie immediately ejected himself from the car and started stretching his legs.

"You're like my brother," Hero said as he got out of the car like a normal person.

"What can I say? I go a bit crazy when I'm not driving. Got places to see and people to do, you know?"

Hero snorted. "I think I heard that line about a hundred times in high school."

"They learned from the best."

The four of them entered the complex, immediately finding themselves engulfed in a swarm of people. Jamie took Hero's hand, 'because I'm so short I might get lost in here'. That line made Daphne giggle again. Seeing Jamie's smug smile, Hero decided he'd have to talk to Daphne about not pumping up Jamie's ego. The more he thought he was on a roll, the worse quality his jokes got.

Nobody around them seemed to notice the two men holding hands, but still Hero felt a little apprehensive. The two of them had agreed that PDA was a no-go, but even something as small as holding hands could result in a lot of raised eyebrows in Faraway. He trusted Jamie that nothing bad would happen here, but he couldn't help but catastrophize.

The arcade was easy to spot by the seizure-inducing flashing lights. Jamie's eyes sparkled at the sight. "This is gonna be so cool, Hero. What are you thinking of playing?"

Hero shrugged. "I used to play the old Space Invaders arcade machine they had in the Faraway hobby shop when I was little. I was okay at it."

Jamie wrinkled his nose. "Space Invaders? Man, you've been missing out on all the latest technological advancements. You better go and try them out, okay? I don't want to have to drag you around to stuff. Try to have fun."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." To appease Jamie a bit, Hero instinctively leaned down to kiss him, but froze once he realized they were in a public area with dozens of potential onlookers. Seeing his hesitation, Jamie chuckled a bit and rolled his eyes, but didn't force anything. Hero blushed a little and scratched the back of his neck.

The arcade was pretty busy, even though it was a weekday afternoon. Hero would hate to be working here on a Saturday. Jamie led them through the throng until he spotted an opportunity. "Air hockey!" he cheered. "Bobo, you're up. You've been chatting too much shit recently. I'm gonna take you down."

Bowen cracked his knuckles and marched over to the air hockey table, Jamie quickly following, both of them looking as serious as the grave. It left Hero and Daphne standing together, laughing at the sight.

"My brother seems to be having fun, doesn't he?" Daphne said, her voice sounding oddly wistful.

"I think so," Hero agreed. "He's opened up a lot since he first got here. I don't remember him saying a whole lot when we were younger, but he's gotten a lot chattier now. Even if he is still definitely the same Bowen we all know and love."

Daphne sighed. "That is good. I have often worried about my brother and how often it seemed like I was the mouth for both of us. The fact that he is finding his voice makes me happy. Though… I cannot say my feelings are entirely positive. I feel that I have lost some of the connection I have with him. Sometimes I cannot tell what he is thinking anymore. But I suppose that is probably a good thing as well. He likes Jamie a lot. I think Jamie has been good for him. And for you."

"You can say that again," Hero agreed, watching the two battle it out over air hockey. Bowen rammed the puck so hard that it bounced up off the rim of the table and caught Jamie on the nose. Normally, if something like that happened, Jamie would kick up a big fuss until Hero came over to give him some attention. But now things were all business. Jamie simply rubbed his nose a bit and got on with it.

"You know," Hero continued, "it's not quite the same as what you two had, but when we were younger, Kel and I were really close. Not like 'finish each others' sentences' close or anything like that, but… close. Now not so much. I think it's just part of growing up, in a way."

"Well, there were other reasons for that," Daphne replied. She smiled sadly. "All of our hearts went out to you after Mari passed, but mine and my brother's especially. We remembered you well. The way everything happened was… truly awful. I do not think I was ever able to tell you, so I will do it now. I am sorry for your loss. And I am sorry that we did not rally around you like we should have."

"Don't worry about it, Daphne. That was a long time ago now. And we were all kids. There's no point stressing over what we could or should have done. We're all here now, and that's enough for me." Although that was only true if 'all' meant 'everyone except his old friends'. Not for the first time, Hero wondered just how angry his brother was at him.

Daphne was clasping her hands together behind her, and her cheeks were distinctly rosy. "Henry, may I tell you something slightly embarrassing?"

Hero raised an eyebrow. "Sure."

"Well… when we were younger, I found myself developing… affection for you. I suppose it was only natural. You were very charming and well-spoken, and very helpful around the neighborhood. My parents thought you were a good type. Of course, I did not act on anything. I simply watched from afar. The first day you walked into school holding Mari's hand, I went home from school crying. My brother found me, and I refused to tell him what was troubling me for a full two hours. That is the longest I have ever kept a secret from him. He was very distressed when he could not figure out what was wrong. I… am not quite sure why I am telling you this. Maybe it is simply that I have kept it to myself and my brother long enough now. All of this passed a long time ago, of course. I got over it eventually. Though I did wish sometimes that you would talk to me more often."

Hero couldn't help but blush a bit. "Oh. Well… that's very kind of you, Daphne. I hope that wasn't too miserable of an experience for you. And I do hope we can talk more often now. Do you have anyone else you're going for right now?"

Daphne narrowed her eyes at him playfully and crossed her arms. "Hm. You and your boyfriend are both so nosy. The answer is no, my dear Henry. No boys have caught my fancy recently."

Hearing that name after taking it back and rejecting it again felt very strange. But, of course, that was the only name Daphne had ever called him. "Hah. After all this time, I'm still Henry?"

"To me, you will always be Henry. We were friends before any of that sandwich nonsense happened."

Hero laughed. "Fair enough. Anyway, you reminded me of something. You've been talking to Jamie about college stuff, right?"

A troubled look crossed Daphne's face for a moment. "Let's not talk about that right now. I see there is a racing game over there that is vacant. Care to challenge me?"

Hero grinned. "Why not? Been a long time since I've tried one of those. Let's see what you've got."

In that great battle of the stoppable force against the movable object, Daphne was just about able to inch over the finish line ahead of Hero… in eleventh place, after all the computer players had already finished. It didn't help that both of them had spent ages stuck in the same place, trying to figure out how to reverse. But they were laughing all the while. Daphne did have a very pretty laugh. Her confession was making him wonder a bit about how things could have gone. A life without Mari. It was hard to imagine.

Well, he thought, that wasn't entirely true. After all, he was living in one.

"That was remarkable," Jamie commented from behind him. Hero spun around to see that the two air hockey warriors had finished their battle and were spectating the match. Judging by Bowen's slightly smug expression and Jamie's furrowed brow, things hadn't gone his boyfriend's way.

"You didn't lose too badly, I hope?" Hero asked.

"Bobo was time wasting once he got ahead!" Jamie complained. "It was egregious, I'm telling you. I was ahead almost the entire time, and then as soon as he got a leg up on me he just turtled! Unsportsmanlike, I say."

Bowen shrugged. "Jamie does not understand tactics." 

Jamie gave him the finger and tugged on Hero's sleeve. "Come on, Hero. Let's ditch these losers. We can have loads of fun without them."

Hero laughed and turned to look at the twins, only to see that both of them were gazing intently off into the distance. He looked over and saw that a Dance Dance Revolution machine had just opened up.

"On second thought, let's not ditch these losers," Jamie decided. "I want to watch this."

Surprisingly, both of the twins were very good at DDR. Unfortunately, they kept on tying each others' scores exactly, and demanded rematches every time it happened in a vain effort to get one of them to beat the other. After a while, Hero's mind started to wander a bit. He returned to the thought of Daphne. What if she had confessed to him earlier, before he had really started to feel things for Mari? How much different would his life had been? Maybe they would have broken up and he would have eventually ended up dating Mari anyway. He frowned. Why did he only get into romantic scenarios with people who lived really close to him?

"What are you thinking about?" Jamie asked, tearing his eyes away from the spectacle for a moment.

"Do you ever wonder how much different your life would have been if some small things had gone a little differently?" Hero asked.

Jamie pondered that for a moment. "Thinking about Mari again?"

"Sort of. Not really in the same way as usual, though." Although, the more he thought about it, there was one moment that could have changed everything if it had gone a little differently, wasn't there? If Sunny had just… done his damn recital without having to…

"Best not to think too much about it," Jamie advised. "Maybe it's true that something small could have totally changed your life. But things didn't go differently. And thus you are here. No changing that now."

"Have you ever thought about it, though?" Hero pressed, watching Daphne do some maneuver with her legs that he definitely was not flexible enough to replicate. When Jamie didn't reply for a while, he turned and was shocked to see that his boyfriend looked… shaken, almost. His expression was clouded and distant.

"As I said, best not to think about it." His expression suddenly lit up, and just like that he was back to normal. "Oh, shit! Pinball! Okay, Hero, you have to see this. I am the greatest pinball player this country has ever known. Watch." He dragged Hero over to the machine, leaving behind any hope of continuing that conversation.

He didn't know about 'the greatest this country has ever known', but Hero could agree that he'd never seen anyone this good at pinball. Those scores got very big very quickly. It was also taking a while. Hero snuck a glance back at the DDR machine to see that the twins were still going at it, although now drenched in sweat. He chuckled. They must have spent a small fortune on that thing by now.

"Ah, nuts," Jamie said as his ball slipped out of play for the final time. "Not my best work. But definitely enough to high score on this thing, especially since it's been here for so little time. Maybe we'll have to come back later…"

The high scores flashed up on the screen, and Jamie's jaw dropped. Hero started to laugh. The entire top five was the same person – OMORI – and the lowest score of the five was nearly double what Jamie had gotten. The name was for some reason weirdly familiar to Hero, but he couldn't quite place it.

"What?!" Jamie demanded. "What the fuck is this?! This machine has been here for less than a fucking week! What is this bullshit? Have we got some secret fucking world pinball champion living in this shithole city?"

"Calm down, Jamie," Hero gasped in between laughs. "There are kids around. Well, it seems like this country now knows a better pinball player."

Jamie frowned. "No more kisses for you for the rest of the day. I'm serious. I am pissed off. OMORI, whoever you are, you are on my shitlist now. I will be back some other time to knock this asshole off his perch. Or hers. I don't discriminate."

The two walked back over to the twins, who had finally conceded that neither of them was going to beat the other anytime soon. They both looked like they'd just run a marathon. "A good day's work, then," Hero chuckled. "Well, you know what, Jamie? You were right. This was fun. Do we want to have dinner around here somewhere or go home and cook something?"

"Home… cooked… always…" Bowen gasped.

Hero snickered. "Fair enough, but we'll need some ingredients. The fridge is running a bit low right now. I saw a supermarket on the way here, so we can stop off there."

"Need to buy… as well…" Daphne said. "Father wanted… a rolling pin… appliance store…"

"Hero and I can go to the supermarket," Jamie suggested. "You guys can go get the rolling pin, since I don't think either of us are gonna be very useful there. We can meet up back at the car. How's that sound?"

The twins nodded, still catching their breath. Jamie took Hero's hand. "Lead on, chef. What will we be cooking tonight?"

"You will not be cooking anything," Hero replied. "As for me, I haven't decided. We'll see what we can find at the supermarket."

"I choose to believe I will not cook because you want to spoil me and not because I'm really bad at cooking."

"You can believe that," Hero said amiably. "Anyway, let's get going."

Hero was having strong visions of pasta, so he picked up some tinned tomatoes, fresh basil, and various herbs. Once they got to the checkout line, Jamie wandered off to check out the shelves of gum that every supermarket puts at the line to tempt bored shoppers. Hero had never seen it work before. "Since when did you chew gum?" he asked.

"I'm branching out," Jamie replied. "Go ahead. This is gonna be a tough decision."

Hero laughed and headed to an empty register. He busied himself with taking all the stuff out of the plastic bag he was carrying, and looked up…

…into the eyes of a ghost.

He was wearing glasses and his hair was a bit neater than the last time Hero had seen him. But what gave it away wasn't the stick-thin appearance, the pale skin or the prosthetic where his right eye had once been. It was the look of sheer terror in his eyes. The guilt rolled off him in waves.

Hero's jaw clenched. He took a quick look over at Jamie, who still seemed busy looking at the gum. Good. He didn't need to see this and ask questions. Hero returned his attention to Sunny, who looked paralyzed before realizing he needed to ring up Hero's items. His hands shook as he worked, and he wouldn't meet Hero's eyes again.

He looked a bit better. As soon as the thought entered his mind, Hero shoved it away again. What Sunny was doing was not his concern and did not interest him. The only thing he wanted Sunny to do was be somewhere that Hero wasn't.

As he picked up his bag and marched out of the store, he heard a tiny noise that might have been a word coming from behind him. He refused to look back. Instead he kept walking, rounded a corner so he was no longer in sight of the supermarket, and waited for Jamie.

What could Sunny possibly have wanted to say to him? Another unbidden thought. He shoved it away again.

Don't think about him.

After an amount of time that made Hero tetchy, Jamie rounded the corner, whistling some tune Hero vaguely recognized, and spotted him. "Hey there. Thought I'd lost you for a minute. We heading back to the car now?"

"Yeah," Hero replied, trying not to betray any hint of what he was feeling. As they walked along, Hero snuck a couple of suspicious glances at Jamie. His boyfriend was nothing if not observant, he'd learned. Coupled with that, he could control his face very well – most of the time, at least. Had he seen any of the exchange between Hero and Sunny?

"What was up with that guy at the counter?" Jamie asked, getting a strip of gum out of his pack. "You were giving him an absolutely filthy look. Did he fuck up your total or something?"

Hero considered lying, but Jamie would definitely catch him out. Instead, as always, he settled for a half-truth. "It was someone I don't want to see again."

"That guy was like sixteen at most. Since when did you beef with children?"

Hero turned to him. "I'm serious, Jamie. It was someone I don't want to see again. I don't want to talk about it right now."

Jamie raised his hands. "Alright, understood. Next time we're here, we will avoid the supermarket."

Hero allowed some of his tension to ease. That could just be a one-off. He didn't even live in this city, and it wasn't like they were going to go to the arcade here every weekend. Sunny could remain invisible to him.

Something felt strange in his stomach. Hero ignored it.

***

It had only been a few weeks, but Sunny had already decided that working here was miserable, and not just because it ate up his evening. His mom had explained why it would be a good thing for him, and Sunny kind of understood why, but it didn't mean he hated it any less. He felt like people saw the dead look in his eyes. They looked at him like they knew everything. Sometimes, when he was faced with an especially angry-looking customer, Sunny started imagining they would expose him for the world to see: call him a murderer, tell everyone how he killed his own sister. It left a pit in his stomach. At least it was only twice a week after school.

When Hero, of all people, suddenly showed up in front of him, that pit widened into a chasm. The way Hero looked at him left no room for doubt. Sunny wilted under his gaze. It told him nothing he didn't already believe, but seeing it confirmed was still a kick to the gut. The big brother he'd always thought so highly of now hated him. And why not? It was reasonable. His therapist didn't like it when he said things like that, and it always made his mother cry, but it was true. They could tell him all they wanted that he should move on and make the best of what he had. But they couldn't convince him that every second he existed wasn't just an act of charity from a world that rightly hated him.

His mind began to drift. Those endless purple skies still called to him sometimes. He closed his eyes and imagined the vast forest, and the little clearing with the house made out of a big shoe…

Someone cleared their throat, and Sunny's eyes shot open again. Another customer. He couldn't keep messing up like that, or they'd fire him. This one didn't look like one of the angry ones, though. Curly brown hair, blue eyes – a very familiar shade of blue, in fact – and a mouth that looked quick to smile. There was a pack of gum sitting on the counter between them. Sunny realized that this was the person Hero had been waiting in line with.

"Rough day?" the stranger asked, giving him a half-smile. Sunny nodded wordlessly and scanned the gum. As Sunny was counting out the stranger's change, he looked up to see his expression had changed completely. The kind blue eyes were now piercing.

"You're really not gonna say anything about that?" the stranger asked.

Sunny stared at him.

"Dude, I've never seen Hero look at anyone like that before. There is no way that was because you made some mistake with his stuff. That was personal. Who are you?"

Sunny began to sweat.

The stranger's eyes narrowed and gave him a look over. "Actually, you look a lot like… huh. That's probably not a coincidence, is it?"

Sunny swallowed.

"Hm. Excuse my bad manners. My name is Jamie. I hope we'll meet again soon." The stranger winked at him, shoved the pack of gum into his pocket, and left the store whistling. Sunny stared after him, his entire body vibrating with nervous energy.

Notes:

Hopefully both Kelbrey fans and Sunny fans will be happy with this one.

Join me again in one week as we move into the second act!

Chapter 17: New People

Summary:

Hero arrives in Faraway. Sunny receives visitors.

It was a snowy morning, and everyone was bundled up as they stood at the bus terminal, shivering and stamping their feet. Bowen had done extensive research on the climate of his new college, but he only now realized how good he had it in Faraway. Winters were cold, yes, but not like this. He felt like his eyeballs were freezing. Even having his sister jammed up next to him didn't help much.

Fortunately, we will not be freezing for much longer, Daphne thought. It is much warmer in Faraway right now.

A good thing, I suppose, Bowen thought back. I do not want to contract frostbite.

"Where's the damned bus?" Jamie complained, hopping in place. "This sucks. I'm dreaming of air conditioning right now."

"You really want me gone that badly?" Hero asked with a smile, though he didn't look like he was faring well either. Jamie, who was standing directly in front of Hero, responded by falling backward and forcing his boyfriend to catch him. Hero sighed. Bowen watched with a wan smile. He would be lying if he said that there weren't times that he envied the two of them. Even though they rarely displayed open affection in public – as tolerant as this city was, there were still boundaries even Jamie dared not cross – it seemed like a fuller existence than his own. His family were not the type for open displays of affection.

He turned and saw Daphne raising an eyebrow at him. Sorry, he thought. Daphne exhaled, and her breath steamed out in front of her in a big cloud. Bowen started doing it too. A bit childish, but it never stopped being fun.

It was at that point that the bus finally made its entrance, a full thirteen minutes behind schedule. Hero hugged Jamie and walked over to Bowen and Daphne. "I'll see you guys tomorrow back home, then," he said, extending his hand.

Bowen shook it. "You will. I hope things go well for you, Hero."

"You too, Bowen. Good luck with your parents." A shot of ice went through Bowen's veins, but he nodded stoically regardless. What was done was done. Judgment would come, or it would not. At least, that was how he comforted himself. A part of him, though, knew that it wasn't the Father above so much as the father below that he was scared of.

"Good luck, Henry," Daphne said, as the two of them tried to figure out whether they should shake hands or hug. Eventually they settled for an awkward fist bump. "Have you spoken to Kel at all since his birthday?"

"Nope," said Hero. "We'll see what happens. We're all in this together. Except Jamie."

"Wrong!" Jamie declared. "I will be in this as well. Just a bit later than you guys. Hero, how are you gonna survive a whole week without me?"

Hero hugged him again, this time for a little longer. Bowen glanced nervously at the idling bus. "I'll just have to do my best," Hero said, his voice now quieter. He quickly looked around to see if anyone was watching, and pecked Jamie's cheek. Jamie smiled at him, his face rosy.

With that, Hero ran to the bus. The remaining three stood and waved, though they couldn't actually see where Hero had ended up sitting because the windows of the bus were tinted. The bus pulled out of the terminal, leaving them standing and shivering on the sidewalk.

"Back to the car?" Jamie suggested. "I've lost my personal heater now."

"I think that would be a good idea," Bowen replied.

The car ride back was quieter than usual. Jamie was usually the one to initiate conversations, but today he looked preoccupied, staring out the back window with his brows furrowed. Bowen wondered if he was missing Hero already. It seemed a bit silly, given that Hero had been gone for all of ten minutes, but Bowen had seen similar behavior from couples in high school. It had always struck him as a bit performative. Even he didn't start missing his sister until they'd been apart for a few hours.

He was alerted to the telltale sound of a finger rubbing on glass. "Jamie, stop drawing genitalia on my windows," he ordered, not even bothering to look.

"That's Daphne!" Jamie complained. Bowen briefly glanced across to the passenger side window to see that Daphne was indeed drawing on the window, though not genitalia. Her cheeks went a little red once she realized she'd been caught.

"Apologies," she said, settling back into her seat.

Jamie tutted from the back seat. "Oh, Bobo. Your lack of trust wounds me. We've been through so much together, and you still think so little of me that you automatically assume I'm drawing dicks on your windows?"

Bowen rolled his eyes. Even he could acknowledge that he and Jamie made a strange pair. But there was just something very endearing about him. It was probably for much the same reasons that Hero had taken a liking to him, though not in quite the same way. What Bowen didn't really understand was what someone like Jamie saw in someone like him.

Once they got back to the dorms, Bowen was expecting Jamie to head back to his own room, but instead he accompanied them to Bowen's. "I'm sorry," Bowen said to him, "but we didn't have anything planned for the rest of the day. We will just be making sure everything is packed for the ride home tomorrow, and then probably lounging around."

"All good," Jamie replied. "I didn't want to do anything in particular. There was just something I wanted to talk to you two about."

Bowen glanced curiously at his sister, who shrugged. Whatever Jamie was planning to discuss, she didn't know about it. Though why had Jamie waited until Hero was gone to bring this up? Strange.

The trio entered the room and shed their outer layers of clothing. Jamie went to take his customary seat on the countertop and looked at the two of them. "Alright, I'll cut to the chase," he said. "Asian kid, looks about sixteen or so, dangerously thin, has one eye. Hero has some kind of issue with him. Ring any bells?"

Bowen froze. He shot a nervous look at his sister, who only gave him one in return. Can we tell him? he thought. Hero will probably not be happy with us if we do.

He must already know something, Daphne countered, or he would not be asking this question to begin with. Besides…

"Guys," Jamie interjected. "Use your words, please."

After a moment of indecision, Daphne stepped in. "His name is Sunny. Sunny Suzuki. He is the younger brother of Mari."

Jamie nodded. "The mysterious unnamed brother Hero mentioned. I thought so. So, what's his deal?"

Should we tell him? Daphne asked. Would Henry be unhappy with us if we did?

Bowen decided to try deflecting. "How do you know about Sunny?"

"Remember how after we were done at the arcade yesterday Hero and I went to get some groceries? Sunny was working one of the registers at the supermarket. Hero… I've never seen him look like that before. I've seen him look kind of pissed off, but that was like… hatred. And Sunny seemed to be expecting that reaction. So, again, I'd like to know what's going on there."

That was a lot for Bowen to take in. Sunny was working? Hero didn't like him? He supposed that there was no point trying to hide anything from Jamie now. "Do you remember when I told you what Hero did after Mari died?"

"Yes."

"Sunny was even worse. The way I heard it, he simply did not leave his house for nearly four years. I believe his father left. Their friend group split apart. I still saw Kel often, but Hero would not leave his bed, Aubrey started to lose her way in life, and Basil… well…"

"We heard many things about him," said Daphne. "Few of them were pleasant. He always looked terrified. Then last summer, Sunny's mother put their house up for sale, and Sunny unexpectedly came outside a few days before they moved away. I saw him on a couple of occasions, once with Henry. Henry looked happy that day. Happier than I had seen him in a very long time."

"And then?" Jamie prompted.

There was another few seconds of silence before Bowen spoke up again. "A lot of this is not much more than rumor, but… all five of them were together at Basil's house, and Basil attacked Sunny. Sunny lost an eye, but Basil's injuries were worse. Most people believe that Basil had some kind of mental break and attempted suicide afterwards. As soon as Sunny recovered, his mother took him away to their new home. Basil went to a psychiatric ward. A month later, Hero left and came here, where he has been ever since. This will be the first time he has returned to Faraway since then."

Jamie folded his arms and chewed his lip, frowning at the floor. "Bowen, that story doesn't make any fucking sense whatsoever."

Bowen was a little taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"Think about it," Jamie pressed. "Sunny's mom left him at home for nearly four years. Why? Why would she let him do that? You said Hero looked happy around him when he came outside, so then why does he suddenly hate him now? Sunny was the one who was attacked, if you're remembering correctly. What reason would Hero have to hate him? And why would any of that make Hero leave Faraway? Sure, it can't have been an easy thing to go through, but neither Sunny nor Basil were even there at that point. We're obviously missing something important here."

"Maybe," Bowen conceded. "But this seems… private."

Jamie sighed. "Look. Hero… okay, he's doing better than he was, I won't deny that. But he's not doing good either. And given that he's too fucking stubborn to see anyone professional about anything that's happened to him, we are all he has. And we are lacking crucial information here. I… we can't help him unless we actually know what's going on. Sunny is the only other person we know could tell us."

Being Hero's roommate, Bowen knew that Jamie was more right about Hero's mental state than he realized. Even now, Hero still could barely get through a night without some kind of tossing fit. And he still looked so exhausted. Though he'd gotten peppier over the last couple of months, the crow's feet and eyebags hadn't gone anywhere.

"He may not take our interference well," Daphne said.

Jamie slumped a little. "Yeah. He probably wouldn't. I know it's a gamble. Look, you two have known him a lot longer than me. And you know Sunny. It's your call. But I want to help Hero. He means a lot to me, and it… really frustrates me how powerless I am when it comes to stuff like this."

Instinctively, Bowen waited for his sister to make the call. He was a bit shocked to realize that both Daphne and Jamie were looking at him. He quickly cleared his throat. "Well… Sunny is quite timid, from what I recall. But if anybody could overcome that, it would be you, Jamie. You do have a knack for that sort of thing. And I do want to help Hero. Maybe we should."

Daphne looked sceptical, though in a way only Bowen could see. "How are you planning to find him?"

"If he's working," Jamie replied, "it'll be an after-school thing. We should head over to that supermarket this afternoon and check. If he isn't there, I'll have some extra time to look for him myself before Christmas. Although it'd be better if you two were there. From what I'm hearing, it'll probably help to have some familiar faces around."

Bowen didn't have anything planned for the afternoon, and everything was packed and ready for their return to Faraway tomorrow morning. This was a gamble, yes. But maybe it was exactly what his relentlessly stubborn friend needed.

"This afternoon, then," he confirmed.

***

The bus back to Faraway took eight hours, and Hero was awake and alert for every excruciating second of it. He'd never liked buses. The heater was broken and the constant jolting made him motion sick and ensured he could never fall asleep. The butterflies in his stomach weren't helping, either. All he could do was gaze out the window at the endlessly repeating scenery (and occasional grimy small town) and try to focus on not puking or freezing to death. Sitting on a bus for hours getting frostbite next to a pile of his ripening vomit would probably be as close to hell as he could reasonably get.

But that left his thoughts to wander, and there was only one place they were going. How would he face Kel? Would Kel still be angry, or would he be more mellow in person? His parents would definitely interrogate him about why he left in the first place, but what could he tell them? What was he going to say to Aubrey, if he met her? Or Basil? How would everyone react to Jamie?

Hero gritted his teeth. Sitting alone with nothing to do for hours was driving him up the wall. He needed to learn to drive at some point. The only reason the journey even took this long was because the bus was very slow and took a big detour before passing through Faraway. By car, the trip would only be three or four hours. But even if he did learn to drive, he'd still need a car, and for that he'd need a job. Not that that was impossible by any means: Bowen was managing his job and his studies just fine. It was something to think about.

Alternatively, he could have just asked to ride along with Bowen and Daphne when they drove down tomorrow. That would probably have been the easiest option. Hero sighed. Mari always used to tell him he thought too much for his own good. If only she could see him now.

Somehow, the time ticked by. Hero started to recognize landmarks, and the pit in his stomach grew deeper. He didn't really know what he was afraid of. He wasn't genuinely expecting Kel or his parents to freak out at him over the fact that he was dating Jamie. Maybe it was the thought of the embers of what he once had with his brother dying out. Maybe Kel wouldn't hate him, but they'd end up just being two people who happened to share parents. How well did he really know what Kel was thinking these days? It was an uncomfortable question.

The bus stopped at the Faraway bus stop, liberating Hero from the nightmare in his head but thrusting him into the nightmare of an uncertain reality. Dragging his suitcase behind him, he trudged his way through downtown Faraway, then out into the outskirts, past the Othermart and the park. He took a quick glance towards the basketball court to see if his brother was playing today, but the place was practically deserted. Too cold for anything like that.

Across the road from the park, south, right, past Daphne and Bowen's house…

Hector bounded out of his kennel as soon as he heard Hero, sprinting towards the fence and leaping so high he nearly cleared it. Hero chuckled and stuck his hand through the fence so Hector could lick it frantically. Sometimes he wondered about that dog. The driveway was totally open, and Hector knew he could pass through it when they went on walks, but at all other times it was like he thought there was an invisible barrier there. "Are you cold over there in your kennel?" he asked Hector, who started chasing his own tail in excitement. "They're not letting you inside? Mom's mean, huh?"

The front door swung open, and he looked up to see his mom charging towards him. "Hero! Finally! You worry me so much, you nasty boy…" She tackled him with almost enough force to bowl him over, embracing him with a crushing grip.

"Hey, mom," Hero gasped. "Can't really… breathe…"

His dad appeared in the doorway as well. "Hero! Welcome home, champ! How did finals go?"

His mom reluctantly loosened her grip on Hero just enough to allow him to breathe and speak properly. "They went well, I think," he said. "But I only did my last one yesterday. We're not going to get results back for a while."

"You'd better do well," his mother said. "Those hours you spent studying at college instead of here better have meant something. Now, come in. You're later than I thought! There is less than an hour until dinner is ready. Go put all of your stuff away. And talk to your brother. He's been moping around all day. Quickly, quickly! The vegetables are going to burn if I leave them for too long." With that, she hurried back inside, leaving just Hero and his dad.

"How has Kel been?" Hero asked.

"Oh, he has something important he should tell you," his dad replied, grinning. Almost as soon as he had finished saying that, though, the good humor vanished, and his brow furrowed. "I don't think he's very happy with you, Hero. You should talk to him. Since neither of you will tell us what happened at the hospital with Sunny and Basil, we have no clue how to help him."

Hero sighed. "Yeah, I know. I'll talk to him. Hopefully we can patch things up."

His dad's face brightened a little. "Very good. It's not healthy to have bad blood between siblings. When you're older, you'll be each others' best friends. He's up in your room, probably playing on that console. I'll leave you to it. Oh, and don't be too loud. Sally is having a nap."

Hero entered the house, Hector still charging around at his heels and barking, and headed for the stairs. As he began to climb, the telltale pitter-patter of Hector's paws against the ground echoed behind him. He turned around to see the very sorrowful-looking dog hopping in place at the foot of the stairs. "Still never figured out how to break that rule?" he asked sympathetically. Hector did not reply, shockingly enough.

What did Kel have to tell him that was important, and why did his dad look so happy about it? Had he been doing well in school or something? Somehow Hero doubted that that would be it. Maybe the basketball team had made it to regionals or something?

He opened the door to his room. As promised, Kel was inside, playing on his console. His side of the room was as messy as ever, while Hero's side looked like it had just been dusted and polished to a gleam. As Hero looked at his room for the first time since summer, he started to think that the number of trophies he had sitting around was probably a bit excessive. Maybe he should get rid of the hot dog eating one.

"Hey, Kel," he said, walking over to his bed and setting down his suitcase. "How've you been?"

"Good," Kel replied, not taking his eyes off the game. So there hadn't been any magical forgiveness since they'd last spoken, then. Fantastic.

"That's good. And, uh… Aubrey and Basil? How are they doing?"

"They're good." Kel's character died in the game, and he curled his lip and mashed the restart button. Hero masked his lack of conversation ideas by starting to put away all his clothes. Maybe he could ask Kel about whatever important thing he had to say? Kel might not actually want to tell him, though. Later, possibly.

Maybe he should just get to the point? "Kel, I know you're mad at me. I get it. It was wrong of me to leave when I did, I know that. I was under a lot of stress, and… yeah. I'm sorry I left you guys here to figure things out yourselves. But I'm happy that you're all friends again."

Kel didn't respond. Hero groped around for something to say, and grabbed the first thing he found. "B-but I'm staying this time. The whole break. I'm not going to leave again. If you need to… to talk about anything, I'll be here."

"Cool," said Kel.

Hero sighed. Clearly this wasn't going to be repaired in one day, especially given the maybe-bombshell he was about to drop on his brother. But that was fine. If Kel didn't trust him, he would show Kel that he could be trusted. All he had to do was be a good brother. He finished packing away his clothes and walked over to stand next to Kel, who was focused on his game.

"Can I watch?" he asked. Kel just grunted in response, which Hero took as a yes. He sat down next to his brother and started spectating. After a while, he started to frown a bit. Had video games always been this confusing? It had been a long time since he'd played seriously, and he definitely didn't remember there being this many flashing lights and sound effects. It was the sort of constant stream of stimulation that only someone like Kel could put up with. He winced as Kel collected some kind of powerup, bathing the entire screen in sickening blasts of rainbow light.

"This could give someone a seizure," he said in a half-hearted attempt at a joke. Again, Kel only grunted.

The awkwardness had settled firmly over them by the time their mom called them down for dinner. They both stood up, and Hero noticed something.

"You're taller than me now."

Something flickered briefly in Kel's eyes, but died away. "Yeah," he muttered, leaving the room. Hero followed him to find plates piled high with steaming tamales. Hero's eyes crinkled when he saw it. This was something he'd missed at college. He and Bowen were good cooks, but it was hard to match this.

"I'm preparing you two for Christmas Eve," his mom joked. Hero snorted. Though both of his parents were born in Mexico, his grandmother on his mom's side was Guatemalan, meaning that Christmas Eve was a time for truly exorbitant quantities of tamales colorados . Even the resolutely sullen Kel perked up a bit at the sight of all the food. But the true lover of tamales in the house was Hector, who was pawing at the front door from the outside. It was a noise Hero associated with home.

"So, did Kel tell you?" his dad asked excitedly as soon as the two of them sat down across from each other. Sally, sitting in his lap, screamed "KEL!" in support before going back to sucking on her fingers. Hero smiled at his little sister, but she didn't seem very interested.

"Dad," Kel complained.

"No, he didn't," said Hero.

His dad grinned. "Shy, is he? Well, I'll just tell you myself! Do you remember Aubrey? She used to come over here a lot, and she has pink hair now."

Hero rolled his eyes. "Yes, Dad. I do remember Aubrey."

"Well, our big suave ladykiller Kel here has found himself a girlfriend! She's only been here once, though, and I think that was only because Kel was taking her on a date and forgot something. He was wearing a very strange shirt…"

"Dad!" Kel said, louder this time. Hero's jaw dropped. Kel and Aubrey? Really? After all the time they spent fighting as kids? Maybe his parents were misinterpreting – that did happen sometimes.

He turned to Kel. "Is that true?"

Kel stared back at him, fire in his eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, it is. We were there for each other when we needed it." Hero flinched, and his dad chuckled nervously.

Well, Hero did need an opportunity to bring up Jamie, and it didn't look like he'd get a better one than this. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, trying to will away the visions of catastrophe clouding his head. Everything would be fine.

"I actually have something important to tell you as well," he said. Kel, feigning disinterest, stared at his plate, but his parents looked at him with expectant eyes.

"I'm… actually seeing someone as well."

His mother gasped. "Oh… Hero, that's fantastic! Oh, not to… well, you know what I mean. That's very good. I'm very happy for you. Is she nice? What's she studying?"

"When do we get to meet her?" added his dad.

Kel hadn't lifted his gaze from his plate, and his fists were clenched on the table. Something started to plummet in Hero's stomach, but he plowed on regardless. "Uh… it's not a she, actually. It's a he."

A stunned silence filled the room, punctured only by Sally's random burbling and Hector's desperate attempts to get inside. His dad was the first to speak. "Really? I… I didn't know that you were… like that…"

Hero scratched the back of his neck and smiled weakly. "It was a bit of a surprise to me as well, to be honest. But things just… turned out that way, I guess. His name is Jamie, and he's really nice. I really like him. If it's okay with you, I told him he should come down for a few days after Christmas. He could stay for my birthday."

His parents shot uncertain glances at each other. Kel still had not moved a muscle. "I… I suppose that would be alright," his mother said. "But… does that mean you're gay? What about Mari?"

"I think I like men and women?" Hero tried. From his mother's confused expression, though, he knew he'd lost her. "Uh, don't worry too much about that, Mom. He's really nice, trust me. I think you'll like him. And he's really, really good at chemistry. Really smart. Plays a mean game of chess as well. I think–"

"I'm going to the bathroom," Kel announced, getting up from the table and stalking out of the room before anyone had a chance to respond. Hero's heart sank as he watched his brother's retreating figure. This was even worse than he'd thought. Why did he ever expect this to go well? Obviously this was not something Kel wanted to hear right now. Kel, who was now… dating Aubrey. This was making his head spin. What had happened while he'd been gone?

"Hero," his dad called, snapping him out of his stupor. "If… if that's what you need, then we'll support you in it. It doesn't matter to us if you're gay, or whatever it is you said you were. All that matters is that you're doing okay."

Hero kept his eyes on the doorway leading to the stairs, hoping in vain that Kel would come back. "Yeah. Thanks, Dad."

***

Another day, another afternoon spent standing in one place for a few hours. It wasn't so bad when it was quiet, like today. Sunny's mind could drift freely for a while, floating on a vast and placid ocean. He could imagine what he was going to draw when he got home, or what he was going to practise. His old colored pencils were starting to get a bit worn – hopefully his mom would get him some new ones for Christmas. It seemed like something she would do. She was always giving him things now. He saw through it, but he took the gifts nonetheless. Refusing would only cause more problems.

He became aware that the girl at the register next to him was looking at him weirdly. He shunted that awareness away. It was a common occurrence. Sunny was a few years older than everyone else in his class, and it was kind of easy to tell that his right eye wasn't real, so he got a lot of stares. Most people didn't really know how to deal with him. Even the bullies stayed away, mostly. That was exactly how Sunny wanted it. He simply drifted on his little raft across his vast and placid ocean…

"Hey."

A tidal wave came and dragged him, kicking and screaming, back into reality. Sunny blinked a few times, adjusted his glasses, and focused on the person in front of him. For a couple of seconds, it didn't click, but then he matched the memory to the face. This was Hero's friend, the one who had talked to him a couple of days ago. He wasn't buying anything this time. Sunny's mouth felt dry.

"Mind somewhere else?" asked the friend, tilting his head. Sunny tried to recall his name, but drew a blank. He just nodded slightly, and got a slight smile in return.

"I don't blame you. Look, I know you're probably not thrilled to see me again. I sure wouldn't be if I was in your position. But this is important. I wouldn't ask you to do this if it wasn't."

When he realized Sunny wasn't going to say anything, he continued. "I don't know how much you know about how Hero's been doing. Not much, I guess, since you left a while ago and you guys haven't talked. But… okay, he's doing a bit better now. But before that, a few months ago, it was looking pretty bad. He was having a lot of trouble sleeping, and even breathing sometimes. He'd basically study until he passed out, then wake up and study again until he passed out, day after day after day. He has told me… some things."

Sunny's fists clenched involuntarily. Was this it? Was this his moment of catharsis? Was this person about to let the world know about what he had done?

"He told me that your sister committed suicide." A feeling washed over Sunny – he couldn't tell whether it was relief or disappointment. "He told me that you spent a long time inside afterwards. He also told… well, I know that last time he was in Faraway, you came outside. And you and your friend Basil had some kind of incident. I'm assuming that's the reason for the prosthetic eye."

He trailed off and sighed, breaking the unnerving eye contact he'd been holding with Sunny the entire time he'd been speaking. Sunny's head was filled with too many thoughts to be able to parse properly. He felt tired.

"I'm obviously missing a lot of information," the friend said, returning his gaze to Sunny, though it was a little sadder now. "You're the only one I know who could help. I get that whatever else you know about is not going to be fun for you to say. Maybe it's selfish of me to ask. But… Sunny, I really want to help him, and I can't. Not when I don't know anything. Please. For Hero. Help us so we can help him."

Among Sunny's floating mass of thoughts, one forced its way to the front. His voice came out croaking and raspy. "Us?"

The friend turned and pointed. Standing a little way away were twins, one wielding a rolling pin, one wearing a piece of toast around his head, their shining yellow eyes boring through him…

He blinked, and the vision faded. They were Daphne and Bowen. From Faraway. And now they were standing in front of him as well. At least the girl at the next register was paying attention to someone other than him now.

"Hello, Sunny," Daphne said softly, giving him a smile. "I like your glasses."

Sunny adjusted them self-consciously. That had been one of the first things they'd done when they'd gotten to the city. It turned out that he'd become very shortsighted at some point. Staring at the ceiling for years would do that to you.

Bowen was next, his voice just as deep as Sunny remembered. "As Jamie has said, we just want to help Hero. If you are not comfortable with telling us, that is fine. But please remember that we are not trying to interrogate you. Hero is our friend–"

"–and a damn stubborn one," the friend – Jamie – finished. "He won't tell us himself. Sunny, if you could help us out here, we'd really appreciate it. So would Hero, in the long run. When do you get off work?"

Sunny… wasn't actually sure. He usually just stood there until the manager came around and told him he could leave. He looked around and found the clock on the wall of the store. "Um…" He coughed, and started again. "Twenty… twenty minutes."

Jamie nodded. "Convenient. Well, are you doing anything after this?"

Was he? It was the last day of school today, wasn't it? Christmas was soon. So he probably didn't have homework. He shook his head.

"Would your par… your mom be okay with us coming over? I know it's a bit sudden and everything, but this is probably not a discussion for the shopping center."

The question almost got a smile out of Sunny. His mother was always begging him to bring 'a friend' home. "Yes. But she works nights. She might be gone." At least these days she left frozen meals behind.

"No problem," said Jamie. "We won't impose for too long. Thanks, Sunny. Seriously. I know this can't be easy for you to talk about, so… yeah. I'm really glad you've decided to help us."

Sunny didn't really know how to respond to that, so he just blushed a little and stared at the floor. The other three left the store. There were barely any customers around, so Sunny figured he could just start zoning out again.

"Psst! Sunny!"

Confused, he turned to see the girl at the next register looking at him. She had a name on her nametag. Daisy. The girl at the next register was called Daisy. Did he already know that?

"Sunny!" Daisy said again. "Who was that guy? Not the short one, the other one, the one with black hair."

Sunny stared blankly at her, and eventually she huffed and turned away. "Whatever. Excuse me for asking, I guess."

He blinked, and twenty minutes was up. His manager was standing in front of him, telling him he could leave, so he did. As soon as he left, he noticed the other three standing in a huddle, though they broke apart and did their best to look welcoming once they saw him. "Lead on," Jamie told him.

Sunny's apartment wasn't too far away from the shopping center. Even though the crowds of people were a bit overwhelming, he did like to wander over to the center sometimes in his free time and lose himself in the bright colors. The arcade games were fun. His mother wasn't too worried about what he did when he left the house, since her main concern was getting him to leave at all, so he was never challenged on what he did while he was out. He wouldn't really know how to explain it anyway. Once they got to his building, Sunny was about to buzz his room before remembering he had keys.

"This is a nice-looking building," Jamie said as they entered the elevator. It was the first thing anyone had said since leaving the supermarket. "Your mom must work pretty hard."

"I guess," Sunny replied. His mom always said that she worked nights because that was the first option she'd found in the new city, and nights paid better besides. Sunny felt like there was another explanation for it. But that was fine. He probably wouldn't want to be around himself either if he was in her position. "She works nights a lot. I have dinner by myself most of the time."

Jamie frowned. "That sucks. Well, Christmas is coming up. Surely she's not working over Christmas Eve, at least."

"She is," Sunny replied. She had sounded very apologetic about it when she'd told him. Sunny didn't really mind. When he looked back at Jamie, the frown had only deepened.

The elevator opened to a hallway of indistinguishable doors situated at perfectly identical distances from each other. When he first got here, Sunny drew this hallway a lot. Something about the bleak geometry of it was very appealing to him. It was a strange form of comfort. He led the others to his door and opened up.

"Sunny!" his mother called from inside. "How was work? I'm just about to leave, so it's good you made it back." She appeared in the entry hall. "Why don't you… oh, are these friends of yours? You should have… wait. Daphne and Bowen, isn't that right? You're the Parisi kids from the bakery in Faraway."

Daphne clapped her hands together enthusiastically. "That is correct! I remember you used to buy many croissants from us."

"You're right," his mom laughed. "Oh, and who are you, dear?"

Jamie's smile was just as winning as Hero's, if a little more mischievous-looking. "Oh, I'm Jamie. I'm one of Bowen's friends from college. We study in Nearby City. We were up here to check out the new arcade thing at the big shopping center, and that's where we found this little guy." He ruffled Sunny's hair. Sunny scowled. Jamie wasn't even that much taller than him.

"That's wonderful. Sunny, I'm glad you're finally bringing some people home. You should have told me, though! I'm leaving for work, and I don't think there's enough meals in the fridge to feed all of you…"

"Never fear," Jamie replied. "These two are very good cooks. They'll do a good job with whatever you have on hand. Sunny will be eating well tonight, I guarantee it."

The mention of eating made Sunny's mom switch to her serious face, as it always did. "Yes, make sure he eats. He's been… having some trouble with that recently. I can't check most nights since I'm working, so I'd really appreciate it if you could just make sure he gets some food in him."

The way she pretended to care made Sunny squirm. She cried a lot now, and tried to give him gifts constantly. To 'make up for lost time', she said. Sunny hated it. It felt wrong to him that she still put up this front now that she knew everything. He blinked and suddenly she was hugging him. It felt cold. Her perfume smelled strange. Sunny didn't move a muscle.

"Be good," she whispered to him before leaving.

The twins beelined for the kitchen and started snooping around. Sunny wandered into the living room to watch them. The place wasn't very big – just the central room with a kitchen, dining table, L-shaped couch and TV, with two bedrooms and a bathroom branching off from it – but it was comfortable. And there were no stairs. Jamie walked over to the TV and whistled.

"Pretty sweet," he said, pointing at the PS2 hooked up to the TV – another one of those random purchases Sunny's mom had made for him. "Got anything good on this?"

"The new Captain Spaceboy." It was alright. Captain Spaceboy wasn't really like the way he was in Headspace, but it was more honest to the original material anyway. He'd never played the PvP mode, though.

"Hell yeah. You read the comics?"

Read? Sunny basically had them memorized. "Yeah."

"Man, that's awesome! Come on, get over here. I'm gonna punt your scrawny little ass into next week."

He did not punt Sunny's scrawny little ass into next week. In fact, Sunny wiped the floor with him repeatedly. Once, when Jamie dissolved into yet another fit of swearing after losing, Sunny almost caught himself smiling.

"Dinner is ready!" Daphne called from the kitchen. Jamie leapt up immediately from where he was sitting and jogged over to the dining table, while Sunny stayed back long enough to make sure he won the match they were in the middle of playing before going over to the table as well. The twins served up some kind of stew that smelled pretty nice. Better than the frozen stuff, anyway. Sunny took some small bites.

Now that the mood was a bit lighter, the other three chatted amongst themselves. Bowen was way more talkative than Sunny remembered him being. He and Jamie seemed to be good friends. Occasionally Sunny tried to let his mind wander, but whenever he stayed silent for too long Jamie would yank him back into the conversation.

"So, Sunny, what do you get up to when you're not at school?"

Sunny chewed and swallowed. "Draw. Practise. Homework." He drank from his glass of water. This much talking was hurting his throat. Speech therapy often left him feeling like he'd just swallowed fire. He decided not to disclose the amount of time he spent at his various appointments each week.

"Do you talk to people at school a lot?" Daphne asked.

"Not really. They're all younger than me." Another drink.

"Yeah, I can see how that would be a problem," said Jamie. "Are you gonna catch up and graduate with the others, or are you gonna finish a couple of years later?"

Sunny shrugged. "Don't know." It was a wonder he was doing so well at school, to be honest. His mind wandered a lot, both in class and when he was doing homework. Somehow, though, he always ended up getting good grades. At least that made his mother happy.

When everyone was finished, the twins forced Jamie to do all the dishes, though not without a lot of complaining. Sunny went over to the couch and huddled in a corner, drawing his legs to his chest. He felt a bit sick from eating as much as he had, though all three of the others had eaten way more than him. It was nice, though. His mother was always telling him he should learn how to cook. Food hadn't been a big part of his life for a long time, so…

Belatedly, he realized that the twins were now sitting on the couch as well – Daphne next to him and Bowen on her other side. Jamie, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, came to join them, sitting diagonally across from Sunny on the couch so that they were making eye contact. Sunny curled up on himself a little more.

"We are not going to try to force anything from you," Bowen said. Sunny looked at him and met his eyes, colored a brown so light they were almost yellow. Mesmerizing. "Speak whenever you are ready. Just… tell us whatever it is that we need to know."

"For Hero," Jamie added.

For Hero. Everyone in the group had held their own special place in Sunny's heart. Hero was the great achiever. He could do anything. He was good at everything. He always helped Sunny whenever he was stuck on something and never asked for a single thing in return. Sunny took and took and took from him, just like he did from everyone else. He took Mari from them. From him. From the only person who might have loved her as much as Sunny did.

And he had run away afterwards, leaving the hospital without even an attempt to tell them where he was going. He was scared of them: of their judgment, of what they would say to him. But that hadn't stopped his head from filling in the gaps. He knew what he deserved, and even as he slowly started to build up something that resembled a life he was always aware that it was built on an act of cowardice. Again he had run, just like in the years after Mari died. But his friends didn't deserve misery, especially not when it was his fault. They deserved all the happiness in the world. Wasn't it time he gave back for once? If telling them would help Hero, then Sunny had to.

Friends… friends are supposed to be there for each other.

I hope you can find some peace… or you know… some happiness.

Last time… we made the mistake of leaving each other when we needed each other the most. This time… we'll stay together.

Maybe one day, things can go back to the way they were before.

You'll forgive yourself… won't you… Sunny?

Sunny began to speak.

Notes:

Things are not looking so good in Faraway. Who could have foreseen this?

New chapter in one week!

Chapter 18: The Truth

Summary:

Sunny tells the truth. Kel and Hero seek advice.

Notes:

99 kudos... we are so close...

As Sunny's story continued, told in a rasping and stumbling voice that several times threatened to crumble into tears, the temperature in the room seemed to plunge. Bowen felt cold. His body always locked in place when he was stressed, and he was facing forwards and so couldn't see the reactions of anyone else, but he could feel the tension in his sister next to him. Daphne's hand reached for his – again, as always when they were stressed – and Bowen gripped it for dear life. But there was not a single audible reaction from Jamie's direction.

Towards the end, Sunny's voice started to give out. As he described his confrontation with Basil in Basil's bedroom, and the way an almost insensate Basil had plunged a pair of garden shears through his eye, Daphne let out a choked noise. Sunny didn't continue for much longer after that, his words dissolving into sniffles and loud, hacking coughs once he had started to describe confessing to his friends at the hospital.

Water. Sunny needed water. Bowen stood up, though it felt like someone else was doing it for him, and walked over to the sink. His brain felt very fuzzy. Mari… poor Mari…

The glass nearly slipped from his hand. He held it to his chest, muttered a quick prayer under his breath, then returned to the couch. Sunny had curled himself into a ball, still sobbing, while a stricken-looking Daphne had one hand on his head, stroking his hair gently with a thumb. Jamie looked ill and was staring at the floor, though perhaps 'staring' wasn't quite the right word. His eyes were a very long way away.

Bowen reached out and tapped Sunny on the shoulder, which was the wrong move. The boy recoiled and jammed himself back into the corner of the couch, staring at him with wide, frantic eyes. Not knowing what to do, Bowen simply held the glass of water out to him. After a few seconds of incomprehension, Sunny took it and gulped it down.

The silence afterwards lasted for a long time. Sunny hid his head behind his knees again, though the occasional sniffle made his feelings clear. Bowen and Daphne shared looks and took occasional glances at Jamie, who still seemed like he was not quite there. Suddenly, though, Jamie looked up and spoke, his voice much quieter than normal.

"Thank you for telling us, Sunny. That… the fact that you had to carry that for so long, it…"

He cleared his throat. "I don't know how much this is going to mean coming from me, but I'm sorry that you had to go through that."

Apparently that wasn't what Sunny wanted to hear. He tightened his grip around his legs. "I-I'm a monster," he wept.

"No," Jamie replied.

Daphne wasn't far behind. "It was an accident. You did not know what you were doing. You had no intention for things to go… that way."

"I killed her," Sunny said, his voice desolate.

"You were not at fault," said Bowen. "You did not want to kill or harm her. You were young, and you responded in the only way you knew how to in that moment. I think, given all that has happened since, you have suffered enough."

Sunny shook his head but didn't say anything. Once again, silence descended over the room. Jamie stood up and walked to the windows, staring out at the cloudy cityscape. Daphne tentatively reached a hand out towards Sunny, but hesitated and drew it back in. He probably would not react well to that.

"Do you still have the piano?" Bowen asked. "I remember some evenings, quiet ones, where we could hear her practising from our house. She played very beautifully. Or was it sold with your old house?"

Unexpectedly, Sunny uncurled himself, revealing red, tear-streaked eyes. He got up from the couch and walked over to one of the doors. The other three followed.

The door opened to reveal a bedroom. Though it was the master bedroom, it was clearly Sunny's: the books, tiny single bed and toy boxes gave it away. Most of the space in the room was taken up by the grand piano, standing there in all its gleaming glory. To Bowen's surprise, there was sheet music sitting on the piano.

"How did you get this in here?" Jamie asked. "It looks bigger than the doorway we just came through." Sunny shrugged.

"It is very clean," Bowen noted.

"I clean it a lot," Sunny explained. He pointed to the rag and bottle of surface cleaner sitting on one of his shelves. "And I play it a lot. It's how I can… feel like she's here. Sometimes I think she's sitting next to me, helping. But not classical. I hate classical. Jazz."

Jamie gave him a wry smile. "Ordered chaos. Naturally."

"Would you like to play something for us?" Daphne suggested. Sunny didn't seem to like the idea too much, but he obediently sat at the piano and brushed his fingers over the keys. He looked absurdly small in front of the piano. He took a deep breath, took the sheet music off the piano, and started to play.

For the first time since Bowen had first seen him, some of the tension seemed to drain from Sunny's body. His stiff posture loosened a bit, and his face no longer looked quite so tortured. Despite his professed hatred for classical music, he was playing a waltz of a sort, though it was a brighter waltz than Bowen had ever heard. It sounded warm and comforting, though with a hint of sadness that gave the piece some depth. Bowen found himself unconsciously swaying. Sunny's eyes closed, and he let his head drift back and forth…

…until he made a mistake, and suddenly it was all over. His hands returned to his lap, and he did not start again. "I'm not very good," he whispered.

"Dude," Jamie said, "you played that from memory. That was incredible."

"Absolutely," Daphne agreed. "You are quite talented."

Sunny's cheeks went a bit pink, but he shook his head and got up from the piano. "No more," he insisted, herding them out of his room. They returned to the living room, which was starting to get quite dark as twilight approached. Jamie walked around flicking on all the lights.

"Do you miss your old friends still?" Daphne asked Sunny.

Sunny wrung his hands a bit and looked away. "Yes. But I'm scared. Hero…"

"Hero will come around," Jamie said from the kitchen. "I'll make sure of it. It makes a lot more sense now why he had that reaction, but… I mean, he's stubborn, but he's good at heart. Underneath all the pain of losing Mari, he knows that you shouldn't be blamed. It was a horrible accident. Nothing more."

Again Sunny looked discontented, but he didn't argue.

"We will be going back to Faraway tomorrow," Bowen said. "Is there any message you want us to give to your friends?"

Sunny blanched and shook his head vigorously. "No. Don't tell them… don't tell them I'm here. Not yet."

Bowen exchanged a look with his sister. Both of them thought that it wouldn't do Sunny any good to remain isolated, but they weren't going to push things and risk Sunny clamming up on them again.

"We will need to go now," Daphne said gently. "We need to prepare to leave tomorrow, and if we leave too late we will be stuck in traffic. I will give you the address of the dorm that Jamie and my brother are staying in. Hero is there as well, most of the time, but… that option is open if you need anything."

"Got a phone?" Jamie asked. Sunny shook his head. "Give me your email address, then. Or your mom's, if you don't have one yourself. I'll try not to forward you too much spam."

As details were exchanged, Bowen went to the kitchen to put the leftover stew away. Hopefully Sunny would be able to eat this for a couple more days at least. The poor boy was far too thin. A bit of meat on his bones would do him good.

The four of them bunched up at the front door, Sunny nervously clutching a sticky note with everyone's details written on it. Daphne knelt down to his height and pulled him into a hug. Sunny's eyes went wide, but he hesitantly returned it.

After that, Jamie came in for a hug as well. "Again, thank you for telling us," he said. "You're a braver man than me. Make sure you take care of yourself, okay? Don't give in."

It was Bowen's turn now. As he was a bit more physically intimidating than either Daphne or Jamie, Sunny looked a bit doubtful about it, but was unable to resist. It was kind of awkward for both of them – Bowen wasn't really a hugger – but Sunny didn't seem to hate it. After they broke off, though, Sunny wrapped his hand around his bicep and frowned.

"See you later, hopefully," Jamie told Sunny as the door closed behind them.

The trip back down to the car was quiet. Jamie seemed to be deep in thought. Daphne exhaled.

"I do not think I have quite processed that," Bowen said, breaking the silence. Daphne squeezed his hand supportively.

"Poor kid," Jamie said. "What a miserable run. I hope he's getting the help he needs. Not to mention Hero. Christ."

The cold hit them as they left the building. Daphne wrapped her scarf around her neck, while Jamie yanked on his ubiquitous beanie. He turned to Bowen. "If you could drop me off at my parents' house, that would be great," he said. "It's on the way back, don't worry. It'll maybe add fifteen minutes max to the trip. I have to pick up some stuff from there."

"Do you want us to wait and take you back to the dorms afterwards?" Bowen asked.

"Nah, I wouldn't hold you guys up like that. I'll just sleep at my parents' place tonight and ask my mom to drive me back in the morning. You guys will probably be gone by then, but that's life. I'll be down in Faraway myself in about a week or so anyway."

They made their way back to the shopping center and got back in Bowen's car. Bowen immediately cranked up the heater.

"I hope Faraway is treating Hero well," Daphne said, staring out the window.

Jamie snorted. "After what we just heard? I doubt it."

***

"We could go to the park?" Basil suggested. "He probably won't be there. Ah, I don't know what we'd do there, though. I'm not very good at basketball."

Kel felt Aubrey shift a little. He was lying with his head in her lap on Basil's couch, eyes closed, trying his best not to scream. He was probably crushing her legs, but Aubrey hadn't uttered a word of complaint. "Not now, Basil," she said. "Let's just chill out for a bit until people are feeling a bit more talkative."

Kel grunted and reached out blindly for her hand. He found it and placed it on his head. Aubrey sighed and began stroking his hair. "You're in dog mode today, huh?" she asked. Again Kel just grunted.

"Maybe it's a good thing?" Basil said. "Maybe now that he's not thinking about… that… so much, he'll be more… I don't know. Present? Maybe this new, ah, p-person will…"

Kel rocketed up into a sitting position, opened his eyes and glared at Basil, sitting on the floor in front of them, who immediately shrank away. "It's…!" he started, before realizing what he was doing and pausing. Basil's hands were held up in front of him like Kel was about to hit him, and Aubrey was staring at him with narrowed eyes.

It had even gotten a reaction from Polly in the kitchen, who looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Are you alright, Kel?"

Kel groaned and slumped, putting his head in his hands. "Yes, Polly. Sorry. And sorry to you, Basil, as well. It's not you. It's just…" He snarled into his hands.

"It's…?" Aubrey prompted him.

"It's just… he ran away from me and from everyone else here because it was all too much for him, right? He needed to grieve for Mari and nobody else was allowed to do anything that might distract him from that. It was all for Mari. And then he just… comes back six months later with an actual, literal replacement for her! And he's trying to tell me that we should just be like we were before again because he's okay now, or whatever. Ugh…"

Saying these things about his brother felt nasty. It felt kind of like the day he blew up at Aubrey – that same vile sludgy feeling in his throat, like something was trying to physically burst out of him. He closed his mouth and shook his head violently. His gaze settled on Basil, who still seemed a bit spooked.

"Keep talking," Aubrey ordered.

"No," Kel replied. "It's stupid. I'm just being mean for no reason. I don't even really know why I'm mad at him. He's doing his best, and he does seem like he wants to make things better. I'm just standing in the way of that…"

"Kel."

"What?" he snapped, whirling to face Aubrey, who stared at him with a raised brow. A split second later, he returned to his senses and wilted.

"I'm sorry. I… I don't know why I did that…"

"I do," Aubrey replied. "We agreed, remember? You have to tell me what you're thinking, or you end up doing shit like that. I don't care if you think you're being stupid or unfair or whatever. Finish your thought."

Kel looked away. He'd done it again: snapped at Aubrey for basically no reason. That was wrong. That wasn't what boyfriends and girlfriends should do to each other. And now she was expecting him to keep going and finish his ugly thoughts. He looked to Basil for help, but the blonde didn't look like he'd be opening his mouth again anytime soon. He had his knees up against his chin in a very Sunny-like pose. Kel's heart sank even further. "Sorry," he said. Basil smiled back at him, though it was hard to tell how genuine it was or what emotion it was trying to convey.

"Can you at least tell me if you think I'm being dumb?" Kel pleaded. "I just… I feel like I'm thinking the wrong things."

Aubrey snorted. "Have you beaten him up?"

"Uh… no?"

"Then you're not as dumb as I would have been in your place. Keep talking."

Kel swallowed. "Okay. So… Hero has just, like, decided that he's okay now and he wants to go back to being really close with me or whatever. But it's like I don't get a say in it. He's back now, and he's doing better now, so obviously things have to go back to the way they were before. And Mari… he's spent all this time grieving her, and he runs away from me because of it, but now suddenly that's not a problem anymore. And he's coming down after Christmas now – the new guy, I mean. He's gonna be staying at our place and everything. There's someone new now, so… like, what happened to all of that? Am I making any sense?"

Basil jumped in. "W-wait, 'he'? Is Hero…"

Kel sighed. "Yeah. It's a guy. I don't know anything else about him, though, except that he's called Jamie."

"Wow," said Aubrey. "Never knew Hero had it in him. To answer your question, though, I get it. Hero's back and he's acting like everything's suddenly okay now. It's stupid. He should know he can't just get a free pass back in like that."

"That's the thing, though!" Kel exclaimed. "I… when he told me that he was sorry for leaving, and that he was gonna stay the whole break this time and that I could talk to him whenever, I wanted to forgive him instantly. There was this part of me that just wanted to hug him and forget anything happened. Like always."

The night Hero came back, Kel had dreamed of their fight again. This time it had been so sharp that it almost felt like a movie. He was remembering more and more of what Hero had said to him – though the dream Hero was cold and lucid where the real one had been crazed and crying.

What would you know about love, Kel? Do you know how to love? Does anything actually get through your skull?

He didn't tell anyone about that.

"I really want everything to go back to normal," he said instead, laying back down in Aubrey's lap. "And Hero wants that too, I think. But… I don't want to just give it to him. What if he runs away again? What if… I don't know. This is dumb. I'm just being dumb."

"No, you're right," said Aubrey. "You can't just let Hero have everything he wants. You have to make him work for it. He doesn't get to just come back and pretend like everything's fine."

"Didn't I do that with you, though?" Kel asked.

Aubrey frowned down at him. "Why are you suddenly defending him now? It's not the same thing. You did put in the work. You came to find me. And you never did anything to Hero, whereas I was kind of an asshole to you. I mean, you were kind of an asshole for a bit as well, but nothing nearly as bad as Hero did to you."

Kel didn't really like that answer, though he couldn't put into words why he felt that way. He'd felt wrong throughout this whole conversation, like he was walking next to a steep cliff and the ground was slippery. Nothing the other two were saying was reassuring him. Sometimes he really did wish he didn't know how to think.

"If Hero wants to make it up to you, does he want to make it up to us as well?" Aubrey asked.

"Yeah. He asked me to talk to you guys about hanging out again. He said he wanted to do a whole picnic thing, just like we used to do."

Unsurprisingly, Basil didn't look thrilled. "A-ah, did you ask him about… me? Is he okay with me being there? I understand if he doesn't. I think I'd probably be uncomfortable too if I was in his position."

"If Hero has a problem with you, he has a problem with us," Aubrey announced firmly. "He makes it up to everyone or he makes it up to no one. Those are his options."

"I mean… he didn't mention anything?" Kel said hesitantly. "If he didn't want you to come, he'd probably say so, right? Maybe he wouldn't, I don't know. But he didn't say anything about it."

Everyone was quiet for a while. The room felt strangely tense. At one point Polly wandered out of the kitchen and spotted the three of them sitting silently, but seemed to decide against prying. Instead, she headed outside, leaving the three of them to their business.

"Basil, do you still take photos?" Aubrey asked suddenly.

Being asked a question always seemed to startle Basil a bit. Sometimes it was kind of funny. "Oh! Ah, not really. I think my old camera still works. I clean it and everything, but… don't really use it. Did you want me to take a photo of something?"

"Maybe. Let's go get it first. Then we'll see."

Aubrey got up from the couch, drawing a groan out of Kel as his comfy headrest deserted him. Basil got to his feet as well, stiff as ever, though refusing any help from Aubrey. Kel got up and stretched before following them. Abandoning that topic of conversation made him feel much better immediately. Aubrey probably wouldn't like that if he told her, but… well, so be it. Sometimes he just preferred not to think about bad things. Was that so wrong?

Kel hadn't actually been in Basil's room for a while – the three of them mostly did their thing in the living room, since Basil didn't actually have anything interesting in his room. He noted with approval that all of the flowers were still alive. The lone chrysanthemum still sat under the windowsill, reaching out for the sunlight. But there was still no sunflower on the bedside table with the others.

"How's your cactus going, Kel?" Basil asked, noticing Kel staring at the plants.

"It's actually still alive! I think. It hasn't, like, gone brown or anything, so I think it's still going. I'm kinda surprised, actually."

Basil smiled. "That's why they symbolize resilience."

Aubrey crouched down next to the chrysanthemum and peered at it intently. "What was Mari's flower again?" she asked. "I've seen them around her grave, but I don't remember the name."

"Lily of the v-valley," Basil replied. The smile vanished, as it always did when the M-word was mentioned. "They're quite poisonous, so Polly doesn't let me have any in here. Even if that wasn't true, though, I don't know if I'd actually grow any in here. It would make me feel…"

He didn't finish. Kel stepped over to look at the chrysanthemum as well. It was strangely mesmerizing in the sunlight.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Basil asked. "Before I got this one, I'd only really seen chrysanthemums in books. I didn't know how pretty they were in real life."

"Worth a picture," Aubrey said.

"Oh, yes, of course! Right away." Basil hurried over to the bookshelf and grabbed his camera. Kel and Aubrey backed away from the flower as Basil muttered to himself and took up various positions around it, trying to find the best angle. Eventually he found a spot he liked, and took a picture. The Polaroid slid out into his hand, and the other two crowded around him to watch it develop.

"Looks pretty good," said Kel.

"It's okay," Basil replied. "Honestly, I thought you guys were going to stay in the picture. I think that would have been pretty cool."

"You can still take a photo of us," said Aubrey. She grabbed Kel's arm and maneuvered him into position, standing next to her. Basil obediently stepped back to take a photo, but hesitated to press the button.

"A-ah… you're just kind of… standing there…"

It was true. Kel and Aubrey were standing ramrod straight at a weird distance from each other. It looked like one of those old family photos where nobody seemed to actually like each other. Blushing, Kel offered his hand out to Aubrey, immediately triggering the same reaction from her. She still got very shy about any public affection. Kel kind of loved it, to be honest.

"That's so cute!" Basil exclaimed. "Okay, one moment. Let me just…"

By now Kel had figured out that Aubrey's instinctive reaction when she got flustered was to hide her face by putting it up against the nearest available object. This time, it was Kel's chest. Unfortunately, Aubrey had forgotten that there was a camera on her.

Click

Basil beamed. "Aw, that's amazing! This is going to be a good one."

"No!" Aubrey shrieked, turning to face Basil, her face bright red. She charged at him to grab the camera. Basil yelped with fright, stumbled backwards and instinctively threw up his hands in front of him, dropping the camera. It bounced hard against the wooden floor.

Aubrey skidded to a stop, the color rapidly draining from her face. Basil, trembling slightly, took his hands away from his face and kneeled down to get the camera.

"Sorry," she muttered, hugging herself and stepping away from him.

"That's… that's okay!" Basil said, checking the camera. "I just wasn't expecting it. It's no problem. See, the camera's still working! Here's the picture." He waved it in front of them. Even Kel could see past the bravado, though – Basil's eyes were uncannily wide. Aubrey wasn't buying it either. She stepped away from Basil and sat down on his bed, arms still wrapped around herself.

"I don't actually have anywhere to put these," Basil admitted, holding the two photos in his hand. "S-Sunny still has the old album. I guess I could… just keep them with the camera for now?"

"We could totally get you a new one," said Kel, crouching down next to him. "Your birthday is soon, right? A new album would be a perfect gift!"

"I g-guess so," Basil replied, looking excited but a little hesitant. "My birthday is in a couple of months. But Christmas is in a few days as well, so…"

Kel slapped his forehead. "Christmas! Of course! I can't believe I forgot about that. Yeah, we could totally get you an album for Christmas. I'm sure they sell that stuff downtown somewhere. I do need to go down there anyway, since Mom's gonna be grumpy if I get her a Gino's voucher again. Wait, is Polly going to be around on Christmas? You could come over to our place if she isn't. Man, wouldn't that be cool?"

Basil chuckled a little. "That would be cool! But Polly will be here. I-It was very nice of her to do that. It'll be my first Christmas without Grandma, and I was… a bit afraid that I'd be alone."

"And nobody should be alone on Christmas," Kel declared. "Polly's cool, isn't she? Maybe–"

"I have to go," Aubrey announced suddenly, interrupting Kel mid-monologue. "Mom wants me back at home today."

She headed for the door, and Kel scrambled to his feet to catch her. "Wait, I'll walk you there! Uh… see ya, Basil. And merry Christmas!"

He stuck around just long enough to return a slightly downcast Basil's wave before jogging to catch up with Aubrey, who wasn't slowing down. Kel could tell she was upset. Was it just about the thing with Basil, though? For some reason, he didn't think so.

"Are you okay?" Kel asked as they crossed the road to Aubrey's house. She didn't respond.

"You were just telling me that I need to talk about stuff," he pointed out.

Aubrey growled. "I'm fine, Kel. I just need some time alone right now."

When they got within sight of Aubrey's front yard, Kel sucked in his breath. Aubrey clenched her jaw and fists. There was an open trash bag lying outside the front door that had once been filled with bottles. Those bottles were now all across the yard. Wordlessly, Aubrey walked forward and started to pick up the bottles.

"Aubrey, wait!" said Kel. "There might be broken glass and stuff. We should get a broom…"

"Kel." Aubrey sounded like she was about to cry, and she stayed facing away from him. "Just… don't come in. Please. Stay away from here. I don't… I don't want you near here."

Kel took a step forward. "But I want to help–"

"NO!" Aubrey screamed, whipping around to face him. She was crying. Kel was frozen in place. He should go to her and comfort her. But would she let him do that?

She let out a yell and threw the bottle she was holding at the ground. It exploded into tiny shards, turning the surface of Aubrey's yard into a glittering kaleidoscope in the afternoon sun. Kel took an involuntary step backward. Aubrey caught the motion, and something broke in her expression. She hung her head and simply stood still, hugging herself again. Kel could hear her ragged breathing from where he was standing.

He started forward again. "Aubrey…"

She turned and fled, running back into her house and slamming the front door behind her. Kel was left outside, gaping in shock.

After a few moments, he walked up and started picking up the bottles.

***

His male friends in high school always used to make fun of him for it, but Hero really did enjoy cooking with his mom. He enjoyed cooking with anyone, to be honest, though in different ways for each person. With Bowen, he felt like he was making art, even if it was just boiling some noodles. The man was nothing if not fastidious, and had a way of making the mundane seem inspired. With his mom, though, it was more of a social experience. It made him feel close to her, and the sheer domesticity of it was comforting. No matter what was going on in the world outside, he could still chop onions and listen to his mom talk about whatever was on her mind.

"Your father is using too much water these days," she was saying as she stirred the vegetable broth. "The garden, the shower, the toilet, everything. It's like he forgets about the water bill! Maybe I should put a limit on how many times he's allowed to go to the bathroom per day."

Hero laughed. "I think that's a bit drastic, Mom."

"You'll understand once you start paying bills," his mother insisted. "Although your brother is worse. He'll learn not to take twenty minute showers once he sees those letters turn up in the mail. Maybe I could limit his bathroom visits as well. Or deduct from his pocket money. Do you know how often that boy goes to Gino's? He even took his girlfriend there! Dios mío . I wish he was as put-together as you are."

Hero chuckled nervously. "I think Kel is fine, Mom. If Aubrey is happy with him, that's good. Not everyone likes the same things. Mari probably wouldn't have liked it if I took her on a date to Gino's, but Mari and Aubrey are pretty different."

"Would Jamie be happy with something like that?" his mom pressed.

Well, their first date had technically been at three different fast food places at once. Three times as bad? Hero snickered to himself. "Probably."

His mom sighed. "You kids are crazy. In my day, if a boy took a girl on a pizza date, he'd never see her again. The audacity…"

"I think it's fine, Mom. Let Kel do his thing."

She shook her head and muttered something in rapid-fire Spanish under her breath, too fast for Hero to catch. "He's different now," she said. "He's turning into a real teenager. Some days he's silent and won't talk to anyone. Other days he's like normal. I don't know what to do with him sometimes. He won't tell me anything. We only know he's dating that Aubrey girl because she told us herself."

Hero stayed silent and grabbed a clove of garlic to mince. He knew where this was going.

"And he's not the only one who doesn't tell us anything," his mom added.

There it was. "Mom, I'm sorry. I know it was wrong of me to leave. For Kel especially. But I'm going to make it up to him. And I can't tell you what the issue is. That's Sunny and Basil's personal business. You know that." Though he couldn't say he hadn't considered it in his darkest moments. The thought made him feel sick. Even when it came to Sunny, who Hero would be happy if he never saw again… he couldn't do that to him. Or Basil. That wasn't him. Maybe he deserved a second chance.

No. He stuffed that thought away. He'd promised himself he wouldn't start thinking about Sunny all the time. It would only dredge things up better left settled.

His mom was quiet for a while. Hero collected the onions and garlic and tossed them in a pan to sauté. He went to the fridge and pulled out a pack of beef mince, only to notice his mother staring at him once he turned around again. The suddenly apparent lines around her mouth and eyes shocked him. She looked tired.

"You don't have children," she said. "You don't understand how it feels. Two boys you've raised since the moment they were born. Did you know that when you were younger, people always used to tell me how lucky I was? I had one boy who was intelligent, hard-working, always helpful, and another boy who was a bright soul that could make friends with anyone and lit up any room he was in. Who wouldn't want children like that? But everything's different now. I feel like I barely know Kel anymore. And you're so… far away sometimes."

"It's just part of growing up, Mom," said Hero, slicing the pack open and letting the mince fall into the pan. He kept his eyes on the pan to avoid looking at his mother. If he did, he felt like he might start crying.

"You grew up too quickly. Both of you. You should have had more years like the ones before Mari died. There was a spark in you then that isn't there anymore. My father, before he passed, lived among ghosts as well. He was always talking about so-and-so who died five or ten years ago, and all the times he had with them. Sometimes he thought they were there with him. I wanted to scream at him sometimes. I wanted to tell him that there were still living people who loved him. But no. He insisted on staying with his ghosts every day until he became one himself."

Hero's vision was getting blurry. He blinked it away. "It's only one ghost."

"But an important one. Mari… oh, she was the loveliest girl I ever met. And I saw how much you loved her. When they first told me about what happened to her, I cried. For her and for you. I knew what it would do to you. I watched you waste away for a year. There were times when I thought you would try to join her. Hero, I pray you never learn how it feels to watch a child fade away like that. But you came back to us. Not the same as you were before, but you came back."

If only you could understand what I had to do for that to happen.

"Then, after Sunny and Basil went to hospital, and you and Kel started doing the same thing… I had nightmares, you know? I dreamed I would walk into your room one morning to find both of you dead in your beds. There were nights I didn't sleep because of it."

Hero sniffled. He dragged a wooden spoon around the pan, breaking up the mince.

"Everything will be okay," he said, and he didn't know whether he was talking to himself or his mother. "Things will go back to the way they were before. It'll just take time."

His mother sighed. "Oh, mi hijo . Clocks do not run backwards. You had those good times with everyone, but they're gone now. That's what I wanted to tell my father all that time. Yes, you have so many good memories, but you could be making so many more. He never listened to me. It was typical for him, really. He never listened to anyone."

He felt fifteen again, lying in his bed and staring at the ceiling, wondering how the world kept spinning without Mari around to push it. He recalled the feeling of his mouth, sticky and gluggy from not brushing his teeth for weeks. Had he done that last summer as well? He couldn't really remember. There were a lot of things he didn't remember about that time.

"What happens now, then?" he asked.

"Something different. Whatever that might be, you need to stick with your brother. You cannot run away from him. Your father and I won't be around forever, and you have a little sister who is a long way away from growing up. One day, you might find that you really need each other. Don't let him slip away from you, Hero. Promise me."

"I promise," Hero said. As soon as he did, though, he remembered that terrible night where he'd reduced his brother to a sobbing wreck. Kel had tried to talk to him every day that year. He'd stopped knocking on Sunny's door after a while, but he'd never stopped trying to get his brother back. Every day after he came home from school he'd sit by Hero's bedside and tell him about what had happened that day. Sometimes he started rambling about comics or sports or whatever. The younger Hero had hated every second of it and just wished he would go away. All Kel had ever given him was unconditional love, and how had Hero repaid him?

Maybe that promise had already been broken before he'd even made it.

Notes:

Brownie points for anyone who can guess what Sunny is playing on the piano. Hint: it is from the Omori OST, but it's not any of the obvious ones.

New chapter in one week!

Chapter 19: Picnic

Summary:

Hero tries to reconnect with his old friends in Faraway.

Notes:

100 kudos! Thanks to everyone who kudosed.

If I had to choose between you and her, I'd pick her every time.

Kel awoke to the smell of frying bacon. He yawned, scratched his scalp and stared at the ceiling for a while, simply listening to the sounds coming up from downstairs. His parents were chatting with Hero, punctuated by an occasional squeal from Sally. Kel looked outside and saw that it had stopped snowing, though the remnants of the snow over the past couple of days were still visible. Despite the fact that it was the middle of winter, Hero had insisted on taking everyone out for a picnic at the old hangout spot just like they used to do. Kel hadn't felt any desire to fight with him over that.

He got up and headed downstairs, where the rest of his family were already gathered in the dining room. Sally, sitting in her mother's lap, started yelling "KEL! KEL!" when she spotted him, getting a grin out of him. He walked over to her and let her gnaw on his finger. "She'll start biting you if you keep doing that, you know," his mother told him.

"Good morning!" said Hero, wielding one pan full of scrambled eggs and another full of bacon. "I knew this would wake you up. Want some?"

Kel nodded, and Hero plated him up a gargantuan portion of bacon and eggs. He grabbed a fork and was just about to dig in when he noticed Hero staring at him with a weird, hopeful look in his eyes.

"Thank you," Kel said. Hero smiled in response, and Kel returned his attention to his plate. This new thing Hero was trying to do made Kel feel weird. He was always chipper, cracking bad jokes, trying to start up conversations with Kel. It just felt wrong. He didn't like being bought off, even if the bribe was Hero's eggs and bacon, which, he begrudgingly conceded, was pretty good.

"You boys have your picnic today, right?" asked his dad, looking up from his newspaper.

"Yep!" Hero replied. "I'll be using the kitchen for the next little while. Sorry, guys. I'll put together some sandwiches and stuff. Kel, would you like to help out?"

"I'm good, thanks," Kel replied, gulping down the last of his eggs. It was absurd how hungry he still was. Hero would definitely make him more if he asked for it. Somehow, though, it felt like he would be losing some kind of battle if he did that.

"You sure?" Hero asked. "That'll mean Hector gets the scraps instead of you."

The first thought in Kel's mind was to tell Hero to shut up, which he immediately forced down with a wave of guilt. He tightened his grip around his fork, chiding himself to keep it together. He wasn't going to lose his composure again. Whatever he was feeling, he'd take it to Aubrey afterwards. She would know what to do.

"I'm good," he repeated, getting up from the table and taking his plate over to the sink. He could snack on something later. He turned around and saw that his brother's face had visibly fallen a bit, and suddenly he felt bad for not taking him up on his offer. For a moment, he considered just changing his mind, but he banished that thought. Aubrey was right: he couldn't just give in to Hero's charm immediately like he always did. Nothing would change if he did that.

"Kel, remember to wash your plate!" his mom called from the dining table, Sally joining in with a "PATE!" Kel rolled his eyes and started the sink running.

"You want a pate?" Hero cooed. "She can have eggs, right, Mom?"

His mother sighed. "Only a bit. I read somewhere that too many eggs are bad for babies. It does something to their teeth."

"Really?" his dad chimed in, frowning. "That can't be right. My mother fed me and all my brothers and sisters fried eggs every morning for years."

"And look where that got you!" his mother exclaimed. "You have to go to the dentist every three months. Manuel has dentures and he's barely sixty."

"Uncle Manuel has dentures?" Hero asked.

"Yes, didn't you notice? I hope you don't think those pearly whites are natural. All that beer doesn't help, either. Maybe that's why his kids are so strange."

"Kel, do you remember when Uncle Manuel took us for a ride on his motorbike?" Hero asked.

Kel did remember. His eleven-year-old self had thought it was the coolest thing ever. His mother had disagreed, however, especially since she hadn't known about it beforehand. Though it had been Uncle Manuel who'd copped most of the lecturing, Hero and Kel hadn't been spared either. "I remember," he said. Again, Hero had that weird triumphant smile. Did he think Kel wasn't noticing this?

"I should have hit him for that," his mother grumbled. "That man drives like a maniac. He could have killed you two!"

"Still not as bad as Ana Maria," his dad pointed out. At any other time, Kel would have been happy to sit and listen in on the family gossip, which was limitless given the number of aunts, uncles and cousins he had. Right now, though, he just wanted to get out of there. He put his plate on the drying rack and walked away upstairs.

"I'll come get you when it's time to go," Hero called to him as he left. Kel didn't respond.

Once he got back to his room, he let out a sigh of relief and flopped back onto his bed. Man, this was exhausting. He really wanted to talk to Aubrey. She had a way of making everything feel lighter on his back. It wasn't just that she distracted him from stuff, either. When he was around her, he genuinely felt that things would turn out alright. Being around the fake cheerful Hero didn't have the same effect. At least he'd see her soon, even if they couldn't really do what they wanted to do with Basil and Hero around as well.

So, what to do? Kel first fired up his console and slid in the disc for the game Hero had been watching him play. The two of them had played this together back in the day, but obviously Hero hadn't remembered that. The thought made Kel's lip curl, and he tried to banish those thoughts to the back of his mind. He'd have enough time to think about Hero later.

As he kept playing, though, he kept coming back to the memories with his brother. This was the part they were both stuck on for hours. This part was where Hero had sworn at the screen after dying, only for their mom to walk into the room just in time to hear it. At the time, it had been scary watching Hero get yelled at, but it was kind of funny in retrospect. This part they'd actually played with everyone there, and Sunny had taken over and finished the level for them as soon as they got stuck. Though Mari had basically zero interest in video games, she always cheered for Sunny when he did well at them. So did Hero, once upon a time.

Did they even have any memories like this from after Mari died? Even after Hero got out of bed again, it was just… different. Something was missing.

His character died, and Kel sighed and set down the controller. "Bad luck," came Hero's voice from behind him. He whipped around to see his brother leaning against the wall, arms folded. "Good timing, though. We've got to head out soon. You have your coat and everything? It's pretty cold out today… wait, what does your shirt say? 'I paused my game to be here'?"

"Kim got Mom to buy that for me," Kel informed him. "Along with a bunch of other stuff like this."

Hero furrowed his brow. "Kim… I know that name. Didn't you spit egg all over her once? That was when we were over at Sunny's old place, right?"

"Yup."

"Are you two friends now?"

"Uh… sort of, I guess." Maybe that was a stretch. Kim still glared at him whenever they saw each other. That being said, she did that to most people.

Hero grinned at him. "Good. It's always a good idea to get along with your girlfriend's friends. Things could go badly for you if you don't."

The thought of Mikhael crossed Kel's mind, and he shuddered. Now that he thought about it, did Mari have friends outside their group? Kel didn't remember ever seeing her with anyone else at school. She'd always been pretty busy. But that wasn't a question he wanted to ask, especially not to Hero.

"Anyway, make sure you're ready to go," Hero continued. "I'll be waiting downstairs."

Kel armored himself for the world's coldest picnic and headed down to join Hero, who was similarly bundled up. Hero handed him a rolled-up picnic blanket. "Ladies first," he said, opening the door for him. When Kel was young, that line always got him into a frothing rage. Since he wasn't twelve anymore, though, he just ignored the gibe and walked outside. The temperature wasn't actually too bad, and there wasn't any wind or much snow left on the ground, but Kel still wouldn't have called this picnic weather. Hero followed, holding a big picnic basket in one hand and Hector's lead in the other. Hearing the metallic clinking, Hector immediately bounded out of his kennel and ran over to join them.

The two of them walked to the park. Hero made occasional comments about the weather and random other things, to which Kel responded with the least words he could manage without feeling guilty about it. There were a lot of kids at the park, mostly running around trying to find large enough patches of snow to make a snowball out of. The brothers passed them by and headed towards the overgrown opening in the wall of trees that marked the entrance to the hangout spot.

Once they'd finished navigating all the abandoned warning signs, they entered the clearing to find Aubrey and Basil already there, sitting on the same pier Aubrey had pushed Basil from last summer. The lake was coldly beautiful, shimmering in the weak midmorning light. Kel had actually never seen the hangout spot at this time of year: he'd only found it in March of the year Mari died, and they'd stopped using it by the time winter rolled around. It didn't look quite so nice with all the skeletal trees around.

Aubrey hopped up as soon as she saw them. She looked really nice today, especially with her new beanie, courtesy of Polly. Kel thought it looked really cute. Her face didn't betray much emotion as she walked over to them. On the other hand, it was very obvious how Basil was feeling. He hung back by the pier, wringing his hands and shooting unsubtle fearful glances at Hero, who either didn't notice or was pretending not to notice. Hector excitedly leapt up at Aubrey as she approached, and she gave him a few head scratches.

"Hey, Aubrey," said Hero. "Been a while. How have you been doing?"

Kel suddenly remembered that Aubrey had promised to punch Hero the next time she saw him, and started to freak out a bit. Luckily, Aubrey didn't follow through with that. "Could be better," she said instead. "Could be worse."

"Things going well with Kel?"

Aubrey's eyes flicked to Kel and then back to Hero again. "Uh, yes?"

Hero laughed. "Good! I know I'm probably killing the fun by being here and chaperoning, so I hope you two won't get too mad at me for it. Congratulations, though. It's good that you two have stuck by each other."

Kel scowled. Why was Hero saying that as if he hadn't looked like someone shot him when he'd first heard about it? Also, it was pretty bold of him to bring up 'sticking by each other'.

Calm down. This wasn't the time to get mad at his brother for no reason. He could talk to Aubrey about it later. He pushed the ugly thing inside himself back down again.

"We did," Aubrey said. "I've heard that I should be congratulating you as well, though."

That one put a chink in Hero's armor. His chuckle was more nervous this time. "Yes, that's right. He'll be coming down here a few days after Christmas, so you guys will all meet him soon enough. I get that it's probably a little weird seeing me dating someone again, especially since it's… well, a guy, but… you'll like him, I think. He's a bit more relaxed than I am."

Aubrey shrugged. "I think it's a good thing. Might make things a bit easier from here on out."

"Yeah, I think you're right." Hero's smile this time was totally genuine and thankful, and that made Kel feel guilty again. He remembered how he'd left the table during Hero's announcement to his family, and he'd realized afterwards how bad that had probably made Hero feel, but… he couldn't stop himself in the moment. That didn't mean he actually wanted his brother to stay single and pining for Mari for the rest of his life though, did it? Why was it always so hard now to just figure out what he wanted? He felt like it never used to be that way.

Hero's gaze went to Basil next, who stood like a convict awaiting sentencing. He was keeping his arms behind his back, but even then it was obvious how much he was trembling. He was staring resolutely at the ground. Kel couldn't read Hero's expression. Aubrey crossed her arms and stared at Hero, sending a simple and unsubtle message.

"Hi, Basil."

"H-h-h-hi, H-H-H…" Basil stopped and tried again. "Hi, H-H-Hero."

"Have you recovered okay?"

"Y-y-yes. I was in a w-w-wheelchair for a w-w-w…" He stopped again and took a few deep breaths. Aubrey stepped over to him and started massaging his back. Again, Hero was giving no indication of what he was feeling behind his weird fake smile.

"For a b-bit. But now I'm n-n-not. Anymore."

"That's good. You looked a little stiff when you got up, though. Is that because of the damage?"

"Y-y-yes. Getting up and sitting d-d-down are hard. B-b-but I'm mostly okay… now." Basil seemed like he was already about to melt down. He rubbed his eyes and returned to wringing his hands in front of him. Aubrey whispered something in his ear, and Kel stepped towards him and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"Should we find somewhere to set up?" Hero asked, peering around the clearing as if one of his friends wasn't on the verge of collapse right in front of him. "It's a little cold out today, but that's part of the fun, I think. Mari used to make us do winter picnics all the time. Although I don't think there's enough snow around right now for snowballs. Unfortunate, but what can you do?"

The four of them set off around the lake, Hero out in front while Kel and Aubrey huddled around Basil behind him. Once Hero found a spot he liked, he indicated for Kel to roll out the blanket. Once the blanket was down and any bits of snow cleared away, Hero set down his big basket. "I made a lot of stuff for you guys today. Figured that would be a good idea. We've got a bunch of different types of sandwiches, some muffins… oh, and these leftover tamales, which aren't as good when they're cold but we had so many of them I kind of had to bring them."

He sat down on the blanket and gestured for the other three to do the same. They did so, though they kept a decent distance between themselves and Hero across the blanket.

"Think of it as… part one of the apology," Hero said, his expression suddenly shifting to become more somber. "I know I've got a fair bit of work to do to make things up to you guys. It was wrong of me to leave, especially when I was the one who said we needed to stick together. I just hope that… maybe we can bring things back to normal again?"

Kel didn't really know what to say to that; he was still a bit stunned from the whiplash compared to earlier. It didn't seem like Aubrey knew how to respond either. Basil, of course, was trying his best to look invisible. Not the most auspicious reception.

"Ah, I'm getting soppy," Hero said once it became clear that nobody was going to say anything. "Don't worry about it for the moment. Just have some lunch. We can figure things out later."

Aubrey was first to take Hero up on his offer, snatching a sandwich out of the basket and chomping into it. Kel took two – one for himself and one for Basil – but paused and looked at Aubrey, who was absolutely tearing through hers. She must have been pretty hungry. He handed the other sandwich to Basil, who took only a couple of nibbles before stopping. That was pretty much what Kel expected. If he was in Basil's position, he probably wouldn't be eating either.

That being said, the sandwiches were pretty good, even by Hero's usual standards. He'd really gone all out for this. It only made Kel more conflicted about how unresponsive he was being. He didn't feel like it was in his nature to hold grudges like this. His instinct was to forgive and forget. He knew on some level that things wouldn't work out if he did that, but that didn't make it feel any better to hold his brother at arm's length.

"These are good," he said, breaking the silence.

Hero beamed. "That's one of the tuna ones you've got, right? Yeah, I was experimenting a bit with those. I'm glad to hear that you like it! I've actually gotten a lot better at cooking now that Bowen is around, I think. It's always good to have someone to work with."

"Bowen?" Aubrey asked, inhaling the last pieces of her sandwich.

"He's my roommate this year," Hero explained. "Speaking of which, he must have come back down here with Daphne by now. Have any of you seen him around?"

Everyone shook their heads. Kel remembered his talk with Bowen before he left for college. Had Bowen remembered?

"If you do," Hero continued, "say hello for me. He's got… actually, I shouldn't tell you. He wants to keep it a secret. But he's changed a lot since he came to Nearby City. You might notice it when you're next at the bakery."

Hero having friends his own age that he actually talked about with other people? This was so weird. What the heck happened in the few months he was at college?

"Apparently the bakery is doing well," Hero said. "Christmas sales and all that stuff. Oh, and Christmas is only two days away now! Hopefully you leave room for tamales, Kel."

Kel cracked a small smile. The Christmas Eve tamales colorados were the stuff of legend. Back in the day, Mari was always sent over from next door at some point on Christmas Day to collect a big container of whatever was left over from the previous night. Cris's family sometimes got some as well, though the Parisi family never seemed to want any. Probably because there was too much stuff in them that wasn't bread.

"What about you guys?" Hero asked, looking at Aubrey and Basil. "What are your plans?"

Aubrey's mouth tightened, and she lowered her gaze. Basil briefly peeked up at Hero but returned to his former position just as quickly. Hero's smile became visibly strained. "Hey, no worries," he said. "Just take it slow, if that's what you want. That's okay with me. I don't want to push you or anything."

No response. It was at that point that Hector arrived to relieve Kel from the awkwardness. He'd been let off his leash and was snuffling around in the underbrush, looking for a stick that was to his liking. Now that he'd found one, he was impatiently waiting for Kel to play with him. Kel didn't need any more prompting; the atmosphere on the picnic blanket was so weird he just wanted to get away from it for a while.

Hector was a bit of a weird dog. He liked to play fetch, but sometimes he'd make you fetch from him as well, and liked to switch from one to the other without warning. So, when Kel threw the stick, Hector picked it up and began immediately running off in the opposite direction with it, forcing Kel to sprint after him. The dog ducked and weaved, but Kel was too good for him. He was trying to wrestle the stick out of Hector's mouth when Hector spotted something and immediately let go, cocking his head and staring off into the distance. Kel looked over as well to see a squirrel racing along the ground near the forest.

"Oh no," Kel said, and reached down a second too late. Hector had already started tearing off after the squirrel, barking madly. The squirrel, of course, ran straight back into the forest. Kel set off after him, but even he couldn't catch Hector at full sprint.

"AUBREY!" he called. Hector would pass close to the picnic blanket, so maybe Aubrey would be able to intercept. Aubrey turned, frowning, saw Hector sprinting towards her, and lunged for him. Hector simply dodged around her and continued into the forest, chasing after the unfortunate squirrel. As Kel barrelled past, Aubrey jumped up to join him in the chase.

Dang it. Hector would keep chasing that thing until he either caught it or lost it, so they needed to keep pace with him before he got himself lost in the forest. That was going to be difficult, though – Hector was way more agile over the rough terrain than either Kel or Aubrey. If they kept sprinting, one of them was going to break an ankle at some point.

Proving the point, Aubrey tripped over a root and faceplanted, luckily only in some dirt and not on any rocks. Kel screeched to a stop and came back to assist. As he helped her to her feet, she spat dirt out of her mouth and rubbed her nose, which looked like it had gotten scraped in the fall. Kel took a moment to pick the dead leaves and twigs out of her hair. Aubrey winced and gritted her teeth as Kel broke through some knots of hair, but let him do it.

"Ah, shit," she said. "We left Basil alone with Hero at the blanket."

Kel groaned. "That's… probably not good. But we have to find Hector. He'll get lost if we don't. We just have to hope Hero doesn't do anything dumb."

"Yeah, when has Hero ever done anything dumb?" Aubrey asked, rolling her eyes. "Also, we might get lost as well."

Kel shook his head. "We can follow the sun! It's a clear day today."

Aubrey frowned. "Follow the sun? How many times have you gotten lost in here to figure out how to do that?"

"Well… a lot. But we can't leave Hector out here. Plus, the sooner we find him, the sooner we can get back to the other two."

"Fine," said Aubrey. "But if Hero's done anything when he get back, I swear by all that is holy I will put his head through a wall."

"I know," Kel replied. "I know."

***

Hero could only watch as Kel and Aubrey ran off into the forest in pursuit of Hector. If he'd had a bit more time to react, he would have told them that it was super dangerous to run like that when a single unluckily-placed tree root could end up breaking your leg, but he was only able to shout the beginnings of a warning before the two of them disappeared. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He really was not at his best today, was he? Kel was the one engaging with him the most, which under the circumstances meant that he had a long, long way to go.

Especially when it came to the one person left with him on the blanket. He turned to look at Basil, who shrank away from him. Part of Hero had hoped that he could get away with a light touch with Basil; if he just waited long enough and didn't display any kind of hostility towards him, maybe they would be able to get closer again without having to talk about… things. But Basil was obviously terrified just being in his presence. This wasn't just going to go away.

More than once, Hero had found himself wondering why he didn't feel the same fury towards Basil that he did towards Sunny. That hadn't always been true: in the weeks immediately after the hospital confession, Hero had sometimes, in his less proud moments, fantasized about turning them both in to the police. There were many times where he'd hoped Basil's parents would simply take him away wherever they were so that he and Hero would never cross paths again. As time wore on, though, his antagonism towards Basil had dimmed. Thinking logically about it, Basil's crime was probably worse than Sunny's, if only because it had been entirely intentional.

But there was a sticking point in Hero's brain. Basil hadn't been the one to take Mari away from him – that had been Sunny. Yes, Basil had lied, covered it up and humiliated her corpse, but he didn't kill her. Sunny did that.

Maybe it was because it was hard to feel anything but pity for Basil. He looked like he was expecting Hero to start yelling at him, which made it really hard for Hero to want to. When Hero looked at him, the most he felt was a weird kind of sadness. The lie had ruined Basil more than anyone else besides Sunny. Remembering the boy he used to be compared with who he saw now, how could Hero bring himself to be angry?

"I-I-I-I," Basil blubbered, doing nothing to stop the tears coursing down his face. "I-I'm sorry, H-H-H-H-H…" He gasped for breath as he tried to force the sentence out through his stutter.

"Basil, you don't have to do that," Hero said, his voice coming out a lot wearier than he intended it to. "I'm not going to hurt you. If you need to talk, take your time."

Basil started taking deep breaths, grabbed a napkin from the picnic basket, and wiped his nose and face. He was still shaking, but it seemed like he was doing his best to calm down. It was only then that Hero noticed he had a different flower clip in his hair to replace the one he'd lost in the lake. It was actually one he recognized: a lotus. He wondered if it meant anything.

"I-I never gave you the ch-ch-chance to talk to m-me," Basil said after a while. "A-after the hospital. About everything. Sunny h-h-had to do it for me."

"I don't think that was your doing, Basil," Hero replied. "I wasn't ready to talk. None of us were. But if we were, you were in a normal room before you got transferred to the psychiatric ward. We could have talked to you about it if we wanted to. I don't think you would have said no."

"B-b-but…" Basil struggled to find his words, not helped by his shaky breathing that he kept having to bring under control. "I never got t-t-to t-t-t-tell you how… how s-sorry I am. That was the w-w-worst thing I ever d-did. Every day I wish I could t-t-take it back."

"You and me both," Hero said resignedly. It was only after he spoke that he realized he should probably be more careful about what he was saying, in case he caused Basil to have a meltdown, but, strangely, Basil didn't seem to react negatively to that.

"I j-j-just… I just hope that… one day I c-can make it… make things b-b-better. I've hurt everyone so m-much. I n-never want to do it again."

Hero fiddled with the half-eaten sandwich in his hands. He didn't quite know what to think about what he was hearing. One the one hand, Basil seemed earnest enough, but on the other… well, would anyone else have done what he did? The boy clearly had some serious issues. But then wasn't that even more reason to stick with him?

Friends are supposed to be there for each other.

I'll love you forever.

Hero's lip curled into a wry half-smile. He seemed to have a knack for saying things that created pretty serious commitments.

"Why are you so afraid of me?" he asked Basil. "I don't think I've ever hurt you in my life. Did you feel the same way about Kel and Aubrey?"

Basil shook his head. "In the w-w-ward, I… I had nightmares sometimes. That y-y-you would c-come for me. F-for what I did to M…M-M…" His facial muscles clenched as he tried to say her name. "M-Mari. The counsellors said that it was a m-manifestation of my desire to be p-p-p-punished for what I did."

Punishment. It was an alluring thought sometimes, but it so rarely helped. Even in Hero's darkest fantasies, he couldn't imagine himself being happy if Sunny and Basil were carted off to prison. The one thing he actually wanted was the one thing he could never get no matter how hard he tried. "Do you still want to be punished?" he asked.

"I feel g-guilty sometimes," Basil admitted. "Kel… he was mad at me at first. B-but we talked, and he's been n-n-nothing but good to me since. Aubrey apologized for d-d-doing all that stuff to me over the album. And they both helped me s-s-so m-much when I couldn't walk by myself. I… I d-don't think I deserve all that…"

That confused Hero. " Kel was mad at you? And Aubrey wasn't?"

Basil shrugged weakly. "Aubrey said it was b-b-because she almost k-killed me by pushing me into the l-l-lake. And for b-bullying me over the photo album. She's been staying at my h-house a lot recently. I d-don't think her mom is doing very well."

That was a lot to process. Kel holding grudges against both him and Basil? Maybe his mom was right: maybe he didn't know nearly as much about his brother as he thought he did. And Aubrey… when they'd last met, she was as angry at the world as anyone Hero had ever met. But from everything Hero had heard, first from Kel and now from Basil, that didn't seem to be true anymore. He was only now starting to realize just how out of the loop he was.

Basil's position had changed. He was now on his knees, hands running over each other in his lap, looking straight at Hero. Those watery blue eyes, almost the exact same shade as Jamie's, seemed to be begging for him. But Hero needed more. The questions that had been rolling around in his head since the hospital couldn't just be ignored – he saw that now.

"Why did you do it?" he asked. "Why didn't you call for help, or do… anything else? Why that?"

Tears started brimming in Basil's eyes again. "I was s-s-so afraid. I-I thought that everyone would l-leave if they knew what h-h-happened." He was inching towards Hero across the blanket, so slowly that Hero was sure Basil didn't realize that he was doing it. "I-It was selfish. I know. I just… I loved you all so m-m-m-much. I couldn't b-b-bear to lose everyone again. A-and Sunny… I c-couldn't lose him either. He was e-e-everything to me, he was the only p-person who understood…" He was almost touching Hero now, his big moon eyes imploring him. "I d-didn't want any of this to h-h-happen. P-please believe me, H-H-Hero, I… I was just so s-s-scared. I would n-never do it again. P-p-p-please. I w-want to be better, I want… I w-w-want to make things r-right…"

He collapsed forward into Hero's lap, clutching at Hero's jacket. Through his sobs he was mumbling things – the only word Hero could catch was 'please', repeated over and over and over again. After spending a moment frozen in shock, Hero rested one hand on Basil's back, rubbing circles just like Mari always used to do when one of the kids started crying, and discreetly wiped the wetness away from his own eyes. It would be a cruel person who could just not react to a childhood friend lying prostrate before them, begging them for even the smallest scrap of forgiveness. There were many things Hero didn't like about himself, but he was not cruel.

Basil's words did, however, convince him of one thing he'd been unsure about: he could never tell the others that he had met Sunny. Without Sunny there, the four of them could figure out a way to rebuild something together. Throw Sunny into the mix, and everything would get much more complicated. It seemed like it would create issues for Basil especially. Hero could easily believe that Basil wouldn't do something like that again as long as Sunny wasn't in the picture, but there was clearly something between the two of them that ran deeper than their friendships with the others.

Maybe one day he'd think about telling them. But not anytime soon.

Basil had quieted down to the occasional sniffle, his head still buried in Hero's jacket, when Hero heard a familiar jingling noise. He turned and saw Hector burst out of the forest, tongue lolling, looking like he was having the time of his life. He trotted over to the two of them, sniffed at Basil, and started licking his face. Basil groaned and reluctantly pushed Hector's face away. The dog, of course, took this as an invitation to play and started jumping around him, barking.

Kel and Aubrey arrived not far behind. Kel was a bit sweaty, but Aubrey looked totally exhausted and seemed to have banged up her face a bit. The two spotted Hero and Basil, and their eyes widened.

"Aubrey, do you need some help?" Hero asked. "You look a bit scraped up. I've got a first aid kit in the basket."

Aubrey ignored him completely. "Basil, are you okay?"

Basil lifted his head and turned towards them. His face was puffy and his nose was running, but he nodded. Aubrey narrowed her eyes and looked at Hero, the distrust obvious on her face. Hero sighed. Maybe she was more similar to before than he'd been led to believe.

Kel walked over and rummaged through the picnic basket until he found the tiny first aid kit. He got out the alcohol wipes and carefully dabbed them on the scrapes across Aubrey's face. She winced but let him do it. When Kel was done, he kissed her on the cheek and stepped away, leaving Aubrey blushing furiously.

Hero couldn't help but smile. It was the first hint of affection the two had allowed themselves to show in his presence, and it was very cute. Aubrey didn't seem to appreciate Hero's reaction, shooting a quick glare at him when Kel wasn't looking, but Hero was expecting that. If Kel was at least willing to acknowledge the existence of his relationship with Aubrey while Hero was around, that was a start.

"You're naughty," he scolded Hector, who wasn't letting anything get in the way of the playtime he thought he was having with Basil.

"Eugh," Basil complained as Hector got a lick in next to his mouth. He tried to stand up, but looked like he was having trouble. Hero placed a hand on his arm to steady him, but that just made him gasp and go rigid. At least Hector was having fun.

Hero finished hauling Basil to his feet and turned to look at the other two. "It's a bit miserable out here," he said. "I probably should have expected that, hey? But that's how it is sometimes. Would you guys prefer to do this back home instead? We can just make it a lunch thing. It won't be quite the same, but at least it'll be warmer."

"Polly's tea always warms me up," Kel said. "We should go to Basil's place."

The mention of his name made Basil jump a bit. "Oh! A-ah, okay! I think… I think she'd like that. W-we can do that."

Once Hero and Kel had repacked all the picnic supplies, they set off to Basil's house. Kel and Aubrey walked a bit ahead, whispering to each other, though Aubrey threw occasional glances back at the other two that made it clear that Hero wasn't off the hook. Basil seemed to be doing a bit better, but was still a bit hunched and anxious-looking.

"H-Hero," he said, "a-are we… is this…"

"We can talk more about that later, I think," Hero replied. "That's probably enough for today."

Basil nodded, looking visibly relieved. Hero faced forwards again to see that, at some point, Kel and Aubrey had started holding hands. "They're cute, aren't they?" he asked Basil.

"Heh. Y-yeah. They are."

"Did you expect it?"

"W-well… kind of? Aubrey talked about him so m-much, I k-k-kind of thought so. But I don't think even she knew she liked him until it h-happened."

"Until what happened?"

Basil went red. "Oh… I p-probably shouldn't say. Aubrey t-told me to keep it a s-s-secret. But she was very happy when she c-came home that day."

Aubrey glanced over her shoulder, saw both Hero and Basil looking at her, and yanked her hand out of Kel's. Hero laughed, and even Basil managed a faint chuckle. The noise alerted Kel, who whipped his head around, noticed what had happened, and blushed.

Hero winked at him. "Don't mind us. Carry on."

Kel grumbled and looked ahead. He did grab Aubrey's hand back, though.

Notes:

Oh, Hero. You have a long way to go.

New chapter in one week! Next week's chapter is my favourite of the fic so far, so stay tuned.

Chapter 20: Snow

Summary:

Nobody deserves to be alone.

Cold didn't begin to describe how it felt in the room. It felt like ice was seeping up through the floor and in through the walls. The buckets under the holes in the roof weren't enough to catch all the snowflakes, which drifted aimlessly through the room. Aubrey couldn't feel her fingers or toes. The ratty pink blanket on her bed had gotten too small for her a year ago, and she couldn't keep her whole body underneath it unless she curled up. Even if she could, though, it was too light to do anything against this weather.

Winter was always miserable in Aubrey's house. It was made of cheap clapboard that offered no insulation. When the wind blew, it sounded like a chorus of whistling through the dozens of gaps in the walls and roof. But Mom still wouldn't have moved from her position downstairs. She'd gather up any blanket or rug she could find in the house and wrap it around herself on the couch. Nothing would prevent her from rotting away. If she had the balance to make it up the ladder to Aubrey's room, she'd probably take the blanket off her bed as well. If Aubrey let her. Which she wouldn't. Probably.

The faint glow of Christmas lights crept into her room through the wall facing the street. The neighbours had all set up all their stupid fucking lights by now. It made it really hard to sleep at night, since Aubrey needed the room to be dark or she'd stay awake. Not that they cared. Too busy putting shitty plastic reindeer in their front yards and blasting the same fucking carols over and over again. The little drummer boy needed a bat to the head.

Just go. You can just go.

Aubrey hissed and pulled the blanket over her head. Not tonight. Tonight was for people to celebrate with their loved ones. It wasn't a night she was meant to gatecrash. She could go back to being a freeloader on the charity of friends she didn't deserve for the rest of the year. But she could spare them for tonight and tomorrow. It was Christmas, after all. Kel had actually asked her if she'd wanted to spend Christmas Eve at his place. She'd laughed at him. He'd looked sad afterwards, and it made her feel like shit, but… well, that was the thing, wasn't it? Aubrey wasn't someone you wanted around at this time of year. She was violent, angry, aimless. Who wanted someone like that to be in their house on the most festive night of the year?

But she was cold. She was so, so cold. Her teeth were chattering and she was shaking like a leaf. Was it the cold or something else? She swore she could feel some warmth on her cheeks. She turned her head to her bedside table. Through the gloom, she could just about make out the framed pictures: one with her and Kim, and another with the four of them (minus Basil – her fault, of course) all crowded together. She was crying in that second photo. She was crying now as well. So many people who would take her in if she asked. So many people who would let her live off them like a parasite forever, no matter how much damage it did to them.

Mari, who took so much time out of her whirlwind of a life to help Aubrey when she couldn't help herself. Before Aubrey knew the truth, she'd thought she'd simply piled too much on her too-young friend. On days like this Mari's absence felt like it was eating her. Kel, a person too good for her, even she could see that. Basil, who she'd hurt and hurt and hurt to the point of nearly killing for years, who still never refused her his hospitality no matter how often she abused it. Kim, who would die for her, and whom Aubrey had told almost nothing about her life before Mari died. Even Hero, who made her sandwiches and offered to bandage her up when all she had given him was scorn. So many people who gave her anything she wanted. So many people she would milk for her own benefit. But not tonight. Tonight she could freeze like she deserved.

But no, she couldn't, could she? She couldn't stop herself from being a burden on everyone else, even for a little while. She found herself walking across the floor towards the ladder, each step sending jolts of dull pain through her feet. Her shoes were still sitting at the foot of her bed. Maybe she enjoyed the pain. Maybe that was it.

Negotiating the ladder was treacherous with her hands and feet so numb. Aubrey almost made it to the bottom unscathed, but missed a step on the third last rung and fell to the floor, landing hard on her back. No reaction from the living room, of course. Maybe she could just keep laying here. It was so cold. She could just rest…

But the little worm inside her, the one that demanded she latch onto others for survival, made her drag herself to her feet, groaning as something pulled in her back. She placed a hand on the wall to steady herself and walked into the living room. Over in front of the television sat someone who, at some point, had been her mother. The room reeked of beer and food left out too long. Aubrey was just about able to make out the piles of trash strewn around through the dim light cast by the television. She'd have to clean those up at some point. She'd gotten lazy with that. Probably because she kept running away to Basil's house whenever anything got bad here. Better to escape responsibility than accept it.

Aubrey managed to get to the front door, and upon opening it was met by the howling winter wind, with no rickety walls to offer any protection. She peered back towards the television, hoping even for an angry yell asking where she was going. But she didn't even get that. She never thought she'd miss the days when her mother was violent, but in a strange way it was worse like this. It was like she was living with a husk.

That'll be you one day, after they've all left you. Sitting in some shack somewhere with nothing but an old TV, beer bottles and pipes to keep you company. Maybe you'll get a few assault charges before then.

She stepped outside. Her bare feet protested as they met the snow piled up around the front yard. The wind drove the falling snow before it, stinging Aubrey's face and making her grip her trusty jacket in an effort to conserve warmth. If she'd been wearing any of the warm clothes Polly gave her, it might have been better. But she never took that stuff back to her house. It felt wrong.

A step forward. Then another. The freezing concrete burned her feet. She staggered onwards, the way illuminated by streetlamps and the twinkling of dozens of Christmas lights. Across the road. There was mucus freezing in her nose. She held her arm up in front of her as the wind buffeted her back and forth.

The house was in front of her now. Most of the plants were gone from the front garden, dead or moved inside so they could be warm and watered and loved. Maybe she was a caterpillar. She giggled manically. She could imagine herself being a caterpillar. Maybe she was just going insane. A mumbled prayer burst from between her blue lips.

The door was right in front of her. She hated how much she wanted to knock, how much she wanted to step inside where the heat was and enjoy a nice cup of tea at the dining table. She hated how she couldn't resist the pull, despite the fact that she knew she didn't deserve any of it. How dare she impose on poor Basil like this? This was his first Christmas without his grandma. She'd meant the world to him. Aubrey knew that better than most, seeing as she was his oldest friend. Though being his oldest friend hadn't stopped her from terrorizing him until he shook in her presence. He still did that sometimes. He didn't think Aubrey would notice, but she did. It served as a reminder of who she really was. She'd nearly killed him. 

Her fist banged weakly against the front door. Maybe they wouldn't notice. Maybe that would give her the push to go back home and rot like she should. Maybe by the time the morning came she'd be too numb to feel…

"Aubrey?!" Basil's voice was panicked, and Aubrey was dragged across the doorstep. It was warm inside. She shut her eyes as tightly as she could.

"Polly! Aubrey's… she's f-freezing! What do we do?" That was Basil's voice again. Now they were fussing over her. Of course. Leave it to her to ruin Christmas Eve by staggering half-dead into their house when she wasn't wanted.

"Sit her on the couch." Polly now. She was a sweet lady. Always willing to lend a helping hand, never minding if she was never given anything in return. "Get some towels and dry her off wherever there's snow melting on her. I'm going to fill some bowls with warm water for her hands and feet."

She was sitting on the couch now, with towels draped over her. Basil sat next to her, wringing his hands in his lap and jammed up next to her to help warm her up. Polly came over with the bowls of water. "What happened, Aubrey?" she asked as she placed Aubrey's feet in the first bowl. "Why are you outside with no shoes on? Did something happen at home?"

Aubrey didn't trust herself to speak. She'd probably burst into tears if she did, and then they'd just fuss over her more. So she just shook her head. Polly put the second bowl of water in Aubrey's lap and placed her hands in it. Aubrey could barely feel the sensation.

"You could have gotten really badly hurt," Polly said, her tone too worried to sound like a proper scolding. "That was very dangerous. Can you at least tell me if you want to sleep here tonight?

No. I'm not going to force myself into your space like this.

She nodded.

Fucking coward.

"I think that's a good idea," said Polly. "Do you want me to call the Montoyas? I'm sure Kel would be over here in no time flat if you wanted him."

Aubrey shook her head vigorously. She could picture it in her mind, and it sickened her. Kel would rush in, eyes wide, and ask her a barrage of questions about what was going on. He would try to make her feel cared for. He was really good at that. But she didn't want to feel cared for. She didn't want him to be scared for her. She already knew she was a lot of trouble for him. People would give them weird looks at school, like they couldn't understand how someone like Kel would end up with someone like Aubrey. The worst part was that they were right. Kel deserved better. He deserved so much more than Aubrey could give. Even though she'd been nothing but a giant asshole to him for years, he still came back for her when she ran away. Pretty much everyone in his life already seemed determined to bring him down. Aubrey had no intention of adding to his problems, even if she really wanted him by her side. She wanted it so, so badly. But that wouldn't be fair, would it?

Polly didn't look pleased with her answer. "Well… okay. Basil, could you keep sitting with her, please? I'll make you both tea."

At some point, Aubrey felt sensation beginning to return to her hands and feet. It started as little pinpricks, grew into needle jabs, then started to feel like she'd dipped her extremities in burning gasoline. An arm slipped around her shoulder and pulled her close. Basil. She wanted to tell him to go away, to stop feeling like he owed her something for what he'd done when she'd paid him back for it many times over, but she couldn't do that. Instead she hid her face in the crook of his neck, sobbing and trying to muffle her groans of pain. He was so warm. He smelled of fresh soil and leaves.

"W-why?" she managed to choke out, shuddering as another wave of white-hot pain shot through her hands and feet.

"Why what?"

"Why are you… I hurt you. I just hurt you."

"No." His voice was uncharacteristically firm. "You've been better to me than I could ever have hoped for. You're my friend. You're always welcome here."

No. That wasn't right. She'd hit him, bullied him, nearly killed him. How could he believe that she was doing him any favors? She wanted to tell him that he deserved more than he thought he did, and that he didn't have to atone forever. He didn't need to feel obligated to her. But she couldn't do that, so she just kept staining his shirt with tears and ruining his Christmas Eve instead.

The pain subsided eventually, leaving her feeling hollowed out. It was only then that she realized how tired she was. She'd been missing a lot of sleep recently. It was hard to sleep when the temperature in your room was below freezing. Polly came back into the room – how long had she been gone? – and whispered something to Basil.

Aubrey was moving. She was… Basil had picked her up, hissing a little as his stomach protested, and was carrying her somewhere. Normally she wouldn't stand for that, but right now just keeping her eyes open felt like the hardest task in the world. Basil laid her down in a soft and comfortable bed. His bed. She wanted to scream at him. Why are you doing this? Stop letting me take from you. I'm not worth it.

But she couldn't do that. The delightfully soft pillow cradling her head and the thick, bulky blankets wrapped around her ensured that all those missed hours of sleep came up on her at once. She was asleep before Basil even had time to walk out of the room.

***

The monstrous Christmas Eve dinner had arrived. Mom and Hero had been working at it pretty much continuously since mid-afternoon, and the fruits of their labor was a heap of tamales so big that even Kel felt intimidated looking at it. The real reason for this was apparent pretty quickly when Hero set out tupperware boxes on the countertop before they'd even started eating and labelled them with people's names. It seemed like a lot of people in Faraway would be getting leftover tamales in the next couple of days. Or people not in Faraway – Kel spotted a box labelled 'Jamie'. It reminded him that that was happening pretty soon. 

Not that he didn't try his best to polish everything off himself. These things were amazing. Mom never forgot to remind them that they weren't as good as the real thing, because real Guatemalan tamales colorados needed to be wrapped in banana leaves instead of corn husks, which they only used because they were way easier to get. Kel, for his part, didn't really understand how that changed anything. Apparently Mexican tamales were wrapped in corn husks normally and they were totally fine. Anyway, why was he thinking about wrapping tamales when he could be eating them?

Before long, he was stuffed to the brim. Despite the fact that he ate more than anyone else, he also ate really quickly, so he was one of the first to finish. He decided to just sit back in his chair and enjoy the scene. Their family was one that did not skimp on Christmas decorations. The tree was up in the living room (much to Hector's dismay, they'd had to move his mat and toys to make room for it), wrapped with enough lights to make it look like daytime in the room even when the actual lights were off. Out in the yard there were more lights, as well as random Christmas-themed knickknacks they'd picked up over the years.

The conversation at the table flowed freely between Hero and their parents. For once, Hero looked like he was genuinely enjoying himself. It made Kel happy to see. Despite all the stuff they still had to figure out, Kel hated seeing his brother miserable. Maybe things really had changed – though, that being said, Hero still looked exhausted. If only Aubrey had accepted his invitation to stay over. Then things would have been perfect. Almost.

"What's on your list for this year, Kel?" Hero asked suddenly.

"KEL!" Sally shouted. Kel grinned – at least there was somebody in the house who was always happy to see him. He reached out to boop her nose but was immediately punished by getting a bunch of half-eaten tamal spat onto him. That only made him smile wider. They'd probably be great friends once she got a little older.

"Uh… I think I asked for the new Captain Spaceboy editions," he said. "They're too expensive at Hobbeez now. And Pedro won't let me sit in the store and read them for free anymore. He keeps telling me to get a job."

"Spaceboy, huh?" Hero grinned. "That's a name I haven't heard in a while. You and Sunny used to love watching that stuff."

And sneaking out at night to go read comics at Hobbeez, but Kel didn't feel the need to bring that up. He was lucky Hero slept like a log – though he was never able to understand how Sunny kept being able to get out of his house undetected. Mari was like a hawk at their sleepovers.

"Seventeen and still reading comic books," his mom complained. "Those things are bad for your brain. You don't see Hero reading any of that stuff, do you? Next year we're going to get you some real books."

"Mom, I got a B in my last English assignment." Not that it really mattered. When it came to school, it was go Hero or go home. B stood for Bad.

The conversation moved on from there as Hero started getting quizzed on college parties. It was kind of funny to watch him sweat as his mom interrogated him over whether he'd ever gotten drunk or made any 'bad decisions'. Kel busied himself playing with Sally, who had decided that dinnertime was over and food-throwing time had begun.

As dinner wound down and Hero started to divide up the leftovers between the containers, Kel was stationed at the sink, as happened every year. His dad, as also happened every year, managed to escape doing any actual work by going over to their movie collection and pretending to have a deep think about what Christmas movie they were going to watch. Kel was honestly shocked that neither Hero nor his mom had caught on yet. If Kel had tried it himself, there was no way he'd get away with it.

After what seemed like hours of washing dishes, he was finally able to join the others. For some reason, his dad had decided that they would be watching the new made-for-television Home Alone sequel. Unsurprisingly, it was not very good. Why was there divorce involved? Why did they keep all the characters but change the actors to people who looked nothing like the old ones? Sally, apparently the smartest one out of all of them, clocked out at the hour mark and started screaming loudly. Mom seized the opportunity to take Sally (and herself) to bed. After the movie ended with the divorce plotline apparently not amounting to anything, Dad took himself off to bed as well, leaving just Kel and Hero.

"Could have been better," said Hero, chuckling. "Want to watch something else? Maybe something actually good this time."

"Does it have to be a Christmas movie?" Kel asked.

"I guess not. What did you have in mind?"

Kel walked over to their box of old VHS tapes and pulled out his pick – 'The Thing'. Hero's face fell. "You have to be able to watch it now," Kel challenged. "You're an adult or whatever. You can't get all freaked out over horror movies."

"Plenty of adults get freaked out over horror movies!" Hero whined, conveniently leaving out the fact that most people did not get freaked out quite as much as he did when it came to this movie. It was one of Kel's fondest memories. One night when Kel was six and Hero was nine, they'd had family staying over for a few days. Kel woke up in the middle of the night after wetting the bed and woke Hero up too, who marched him downstairs haughtily to dob him in. They'd entered the living room to find the adults watching the part where the guy goes all crazy in the chair. Safe to say, Hero got much less snooty once he'd wet himself as well. Ever since that day, Hero had stayed well away from horror movies. No time like the present to drag him back in.

"Well, I'm gonna watch it," said Kel. "You can run upstairs if you want. If you stay, though, don't pee yourself this time."

That got Hero riled up. "I'm not going to pee myself. I'm not nine years old anymore."

Kel shrugged. "We'll see." He slid the tape into the VCR and returned to the couch.

As the movie played on, Hero tried harder and harder to play it cool, though it was a bit hard to pull it off when he couldn't stop himself from gasping whenever anything happened. Kel grabbed a bag of tortilla chips from the kitchen and made sure to crunch down extra hard on them when the movie was tense or quiet. It got Hero every time.

At last they got to the infamous scene. The cool guy with the beard had everyone else tied to chairs and was waving his flamethrower around. The other guy was going around getting blood samples from everyone. The anticipation was incredible. Kel looked over to his brother and shouted in indignation. "Hey! Watch the screen!"

"I'm not doing anything!" Hero protested, taking his hand away from his eyes as if Kel wasn't already looking straight at him. "I'm watching!"

"You better," said Kel. From that point on, he kept switching his gaze between Hero and the TV, making sure his brother wasn't chickening out. Hero, for his part, got visibly more panicked the longer the scene went on. The cool guy was warming up the metal thing he was using to test the blood. He plunged the metal thing into the first blood sample, and… the blood steamed a bit, and nothing happened. The guy was real. Hero let out a shuddering breath.

Now the second sample. Kel knew this one wasn't the scary one either, but did Hero remember that? The cool guy lowered the metal thing towards the blood, and…

Knock knock

Kel flinched, and Hero screamed and shot a foot into the air, limbs flailing. Who the heck was visiting them at this time of night? Kel went over to the VCR to pause it while Hero sprawled out on the couch, clutching his heart and breathing heavily. He headed to the front door and opened it to find Basil and Polly. Polly's brow was creased, but Basil looked sick with worry. He was wringing his hands in front of him, as he always did when he was stressed, and his eyes were wide and jittery.

"What happened?" Kel asked.

"A-A-Aubrey, sh-she…" Basil began.

Polly stepped in. "Aubrey suddenly showed up at our house. I think she walked here with no shoes on. She was absolutely freezing, and we needed to warm her hands and feet in cold water just in case she'd gotten frostbite. She's asleep right now, but… well, we think it would be a good idea if you could come and check on her, if that's not too much trouble for you. Right now I think she needs someone she feels comfortable around."

Kel gaped at them. "Huh? Did… did her mom do something?

"I don't know," replied Polly. "She didn't have any obvious bruises, but she can't have gotten that cold just by walking from her house to ours. It must be this storm. It's been very cold these past couple of days."

"What's up?" asked a confused Hero, finally appearing at the door next to Kel.

"I'm going to see Aubrey," Kel told him. "Hang on, I need to grab my shoes." He raced off upstairs.

"Kel, it's almost midnight!" Hero whisper-shouted at him. Kel ignored him. He ran up to his room, and was halfway through tying his shoes when an idea occurred to him. He opened his closet and fished around in the back until he found Aubrey's Christmas present. Tucking it under his arm, he ran out of his room, realized his shoes were still only half-tied, finished tying them, and then ran back to the front door, where Hero was putting on his own shoes.

"You're coming?" Kel asked, with perhaps a bit more surprise in his voice than he'd intended.

Hero sighed. "Yes, Kel, I'm coming. I'm not… Aubrey's still my friend." He grabbed a nearby piece of paper and a pen, scrawled something on it, and dropped it on the shoe rack next to the door.

"Is that a present for Aubrey?" Polly asked, noticing the things tucked under Kel's arm. "Oh, that's so sweet! I'm sure she'll love that." Kel just blushed.

Kel and Hero put their coats on and jogged out into the snowstorm with Polly and Basil. The wind around them was raging, whipping Kel's long (and in need of a trim) hair around his face. Luckily, they got to Polly's car quickly, where the heater was on full blast. As soon as Polly pulled into the driveway of Basil's house, Kel leapt out of the car and ran inside. About half a second before he was about to barge into Basil's room, he realized that doing that would probably freak Aubrey out and decided to take a gentler approach.

Slowly and quietly, he opened the door to Basil's room. From the light coming in from the living room, he could just about make out a halo of pink hair sprawled on Basil's pillow. It looked like Basil had gone to the trouble of taking off Aubrey's bow and putting it on the bedside table so it didn't get knocked around while Aubrey was sleeping. Basil really was such a good friend to Aubrey. It almost made Kel wonder why he'd ever been so hostile towards him. He'd have to find some time to thank Basil at some point for everything he'd done.

He walked over to the bed, sat down on it, and pulled back the covers ever so slightly. He couldn't actually see Aubrey's expression in the dim light, but the way she was curled up on herself suggested she wasn't doing too well. Kel let out a sigh and chewed his lip before setting down his presents next to the bed: a baseball bat, shiny and new, which he leaned against the wall, and a glove and ball which he placed on the floor next to the bat. It was probably better not to disturb her sleep – it looked like she needed it. Maybe he could write her a note or something? He got up from the bed, and…

"Kel?" Her voice was quiet and sputtering, still half-asleep. Kel turned around to see that Aubrey had shifted to face him. "Am… am I dreaming?"

"I'm here," said Kel, sitting back down on the bed and cupping her cheek with his hand. Aubrey reached up to touch his hand with her own, checking if it was real.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She let out a loud sob, followed by a series of quiet sniffles. Kel kept his hand on her face and wiped the tears away from the corners of her eyes with his thumb. Suddenly, her hand shot out and grabbed his arm.

"Kel, p-please stay," she begged him. "Don't… don't leave. Please. I… I need you…" She started sobbing again. Kel lay down next to her and she pulled him close, her arms gripping him so tightly he could barely move. She was really cold. Kel hugged her back, trying to transfer over some of his body heat. They stayed locked together like that as Aubrey's cries grew quieter and eventually stopped.

A noise coming from the doorway made Kel turn his head. Two silhouettes stood in the doorway: one short and thin, the outline of his fluffy hair unmistakable, and the other much taller. One whispered something to the other, and they closed the door, plunging the room into total darkness. The only things he could hear were quiet footsteps and whispers from the living room and Aubrey's soft breathing tickling his neck. He could feel every rise and fall of her chest against his own. Despite the circumstances, it felt comforting.

It wasn't long before he joined her in sleep.

***

There was a blizzard outside. At some point earlier today the TV had told Sunny that he shouldn't go out. That wasn't going to be much of a problem. On days like these, Sunny had no intention of leaving his apartment. He just sat facing the windows in the living room, watched the snow fall, and let his mind wander.

It made him think of Snowglobe Mountain. Time didn't really pass normally for him during his four years inside, so it was difficult to put a timeframe on it, but he knew that Snowglobe Mountain was one of the later additions to Headspace. As Omori – no, Sunny , his therapist had drilled it into him not to separate the two – became more comfortable in the world he created, he'd expanded the world further and further. Anything to give him an excuse to fight Captain Spaceboy again.

But those were the days when his imagination ran free. Now it was a lot more subdued, helped by the pills Sunny had to take every morning. When he looked out at the snow, he didn't see strange creatures and vast icy landscapes like he used to. He just saw a cold, gloomy blizzard. It made him shiver, even though the heating in the apartment was cranked up pretty high. None of the lights in the apartment were on, since Sunny usually didn't bother with things like that.

Was he… lonely? The thought was strange to him. He'd spent so long only needing the company of his Headspace friends that the thought of missing real people was unfamiliar to him. Would he feel better if his mom was here? It so often seemed like she was just pretending to tolerate him while getting away from him as much as possible. Sunny had long ago resigned himself to the fact that his mother rightfully hated him and always would.

But he couldn't deny it: he would feel better if his mom was here. Even though he didn't speak to her, even though every act of her kindness towards him felt fake and wrong, he still wanted her around. Sunny broke his gaze from the snow outside and turned to look at the little Christmas tree sitting in the corner of the room. It was a cheap plastic thing, and his mom hadn't had time to put up any lights, so it just sat there in the corner, a fake tree with no presents underneath. Looking at it made his stomach drop a little. He brought his legs to his chest and rested his chin on his knees. It was only the early evening, and he was nowhere close to being tired. What was he going to do to stave off this feeling? Maybe he could practise…

There was a buzz from near the front door, startling him. His heart started to race a bit. Had his mom forgotten something? Or maybe her work had given her some time off, and she was going to spend the evening with him? As soon as he thought that, though, he pushed that hope away. That was a heretical thought. His mom didn't want to spend more time with him, and shouldn't have to. It was probably just someone ringing the wrong apartment.

Sunny got to his feet, frowning as his stick-thin legs wobbled from the effort. His muscles had atrophied a lot during his time inside. His therapist – another one, not the normal one – had given him some physical exercises to do, but up until recently he hadn't really bothered to do them. Even before Mari died he'd never been physically impressive. But he'd started feeling self-conscious about how skeletal he was ever since Bowen, with his impressive muscles, had come over. That frustrated him a bit (as did realizing that he could barely lift a frying pan using both arms), but he'd started doing the exercises anyway.

He made it to the buzzer and pressed the button. A familiar voice came through. "Hey there, Sunny! It's Jamie here. I am very cold, so if you could let me in sooner rather than later that would be swell. I've also got some cool stuff for you, if you need some enticement."

Jamie? He came back? Even… even after hearing the truth? Sunny's head spun. He hadn't expected to see any of the three again. They got what they wanted from him, learned the truth about what kind of monster he was, and left him. Was he hallucinating? That did happen sometimes.

"Sunny? You there, buddy?"

Sunny shook his head to clear it and pressed the button to unlock the entrance. If he was hallucinating, he'd figure that out pretty quickly when nobody showed up to his door. If he wasn't hallucinating…

…well, he didn't quite know what he'd do.

His musings were interrupted by a knock at the door. Sunny jolted and looked fearfully around at the room: he was well-drilled by his mother that you had to clean up before letting guests in. Was anything out of place? He couldn't really tell, given how dark it was.

"Oh, Sunnyyyyyyy…"

Sunny sighed and walked to the front door. He'd just have to hope for the best. He opened the door to find Jamie standing there, though his face was so obscured by his beanie and scarf that Sunny wouldn't have recognized him if he hadn't heard his voice.

"Oh, that's so much better," Jamie sighed as he stepped inside. He started stripping off his outer layers, dumping them in a big pile next to the front door. That made Sunny wrinkle his nose a bit. If there was snow on any of that stuff, it might make the carpet wet. Jamie tried to move into the living room, but Sunny stood in his way and pointed down. As shy as he was, that was one thing he couldn't accept.

"Huh?" Jamie asked, looking where Sunny was pointing. "Oh, right, my boots. Jeez, okay, you little tyrant. I'm taking them off." Sunny folded his arms and watched as Jamie placed his boots by the door.

As soon as he was done, Jamie started turning all the lights on. "What are you doing sitting here in the dark, huh? That's not very festive of you."

"Watching the snow," Sunny said, a little defensively. It did feel nicer with the lights on, though. Now that he could see Jamie properly, he noticed that one of the things sitting in Jamie's pile of clothes was a big backpack. His hair was also absolutely wild from being under the beanie. It was even worse than Hero's.

Jamie hummed. "Right. How long has it been since your mom left?"

To be honest, Sunny wasn't even sure what time it was right now. It got dark awfully quickly after she left, and he'd just been sitting at the window since then. He shrugged. Jamie seemed to be expecting that answer. He stepped into the living room and gave everything a look over. His gaze lingered on the sad little tree in the corner.

"Have you had dinner?" Jamie asked. "It is dinnertime, by the way, in case you were unaware."

Sunny shook his head. He was feeling a bit hungry – which was a lot better than things had been when they'd first arrived in the city – but he rarely got food for himself unless he was absolutely ravenous. Knowing this, his mom always stocked the fridge with frozen meals, but most of the time Sunny couldn't even be bothered to heat them up.

"Let's fix that," Jamie decided. "I will warn you, though, there's a reason I let Bobo and Hero do the cooking." He wandered over to the fridge and peered in, grabbing out some stuff. Sunny watched from afar, still feeling a little strange that there was somebody else in his apartment.

When he was done, Jamie brandished his ingredients in front of Sunny with a grin. "It's omelette time, baby. No way we can mess this up, right? Wrong. Never say never. But we're gonna have fun doing it."

Jamie cracked some eggs into a bowl before dragging in a reluctant Sunny to add the milk and seasoning and whisk. Sunny's arm got tired very quickly from whisking, so he envisioned Bowen's bulging arms to spur him on. Then he got a bit too distracted thinking about Bowen's bulging arms and splashed egg on himself.

His cheeks went pink. That was weird. He hadn't really had thoughts like that about guys before. Well, maybe except for…

Jamie added some butter to the skillet and dumped the egg mixture in afterwards. Then came the filling: mushrooms and cheese, since that was pretty much the extent of what Sunny had in the fridge. Getting the omelette to fold over onto itself was proving a bit of a problem for Jamie, though. Each time he tried to get the spatula underneath it, it just tore through the omelette. By the time he did manage to fold it over, it looked less like an omelette and more like an egg pancake topped with more egg.

Despite the less-than-stellar presentation, Jamie plated the omelette with a flourish and a smile. "Dinner is served. Dig in, little man. We've gotta get you bigger somehow."

As Sunny took his plate over to the dining table, he realized that Jamie hadn't taken any of the omelette for himself. He looked at Jamie questioningly as he took a seat across from him. "I've got a pretty big dinner waiting at home," Jamie explained. "My parents go all out on this stuff. Also, if I may be so blunt, you need all that."

Sunny took a bite. The bottom was a bit burnt, and the cheese was too goopy for his liking, but overall it was okay. There was no way he'd be able to eat the whole thing, though. But for some reason, he tried his best to do it, forcing down bites even when he no longer felt hungry. It was strange: he hadn't felt that instinct in a long time. Even still, he had to admit defeat with about a quarter of the omelette left.

Jamie nodded approvingly. "Very good. Now go wash your plate while I get you your Christmas present."

A Christmas present? For him? Sunny's mind whirled as he washed up. Jamie had only met him once – well, technically twice, but he felt like the first time didn't count – and was getting him a Christmas present? Sunny never expected much with presents: his mom would get him something she thought he'd like, and he'd take it. But he felt excited for this one. Should… should he get a present for Jamie? That seemed fair. But then what would he get…?

"Voila," came Jamie's voice from behind him. Sunny turned, and his eyes went wide. Jamie was holding out a massive box set of colored pencils, many times larger than his old set. It looked a bit old and battered, but that didn't matter to Sunny at all in the moment. He took it reverently out of Jamie's hands, opened it, and ran a hand across the pencils. When he looked back up, he saw that Jamie was smiling from ear to ear.

"Thought you'd like it," he said, ruffling Sunny's hair. "I remembered that you told us about your drawing. I still had these at my parents' house, but I haven't used pencils in years. It's been all paint, pretty much. So I figured you'd be able to make better use of these than me. One favor, though – I'd like to see your drawings."

Sunny froze, and his cheeks started to go pink again. He'd never shown anyone the things he'd drawn, not even the stuff dating from after he came to the city. But… well, Jamie knew the truth, didn't he? And he couldn't really say no after what he'd just been given. So he led Jamie to his room and directed him to the big box he kept all his drawings in, old and new. While Jamie sorted through that, Sunny grabbed a piece of paper and began eagerly looking through his new set to find the right color to start.

"Is this all stuff from that dream world you mentioned?" Jamie asked. "Headspace?" Sunny nodded.

Jamie picked up a piece of paper and cooed at it. "Aw, that's Hero in his little jammies, isn't it? That's so cute. Oh, and he's got a spatula. I guess that checks out." 

Sunny felt himself blushing again, and focused on his paper. What to draw? Maybe… maybe this could be his present. But then what would be worthy of giving Jamie as a present? The mention of Hero sparked an idea, and he reached for a pencil.

Jamie sucked in his breath. "Wow. Some of these are… incredible. You thought of all this stuff while you were stuck in your house?"

Well, it wasn't like he had anything else to do but dream. Sunny shrugged. "It felt real. It was… vivid. It even had music."

Jamie pondered that. "Music. Wait, so does that mean that when you played that piece for us without the sheet music… you just came up with that in your head? That was in Headspace?"

Somewhat confused, Sunny nodded. Jamie put down the drawing and stared at him. "Dude. That is some serious talent. And I'm not just being nice when I say that. Thinking of music in your head and being able to just play it is not something most people can do."

Sunny lowered his head and blushed. He wasn't used to being complimented and he wasn't sure if he liked it. The suggestion that he was any good at music was foreign to him on a very fundamental level. That insecurity was what had caused everything. Now someone was coming along and telling him that Mari had actually been wrong the whole time? It made him feel a little queasy.

"I'm serious," said Jamie. "You said you prefer to play jazz these days, right? Does your school have some kind of jazz group?"

There was a big band at his school – he'd taken note of the flyers posted up around the school advertising for new members. He could never imagine himself actually applying, though. What if they had to perform somewhere? He would just fail again. He would let everyone down. That was what he was best at.

Jamie clicked his fingers in front of Sunny's face. "Stay with me, buddy. There is one, isn't there? You should definitely join. Trust me, you will blow them away if you can recreate even a fraction of what you showed us. It'll be good for you, too. Maybe you'll even make some friends."

Sunny swallowed. Jamie seemed to realize that he'd pushed too far: he moved away a bit, picked up the drawing he'd left on the ground, and sighed. "Look, at least consider it, alright? You seem like you're under the impression that you're good for nothing. I look at this" – he gestured to the drawings and then to the piano – "and I see a brilliant mind that just needs to start believing in itself. I mean, just… look at this!" He grabbed another drawing from the stack and showed it to Sunny. This one was a view of Orange Oasis from the top of the Dino Dig. Sunny didn't think it was particularly good. He drew his legs to his chest and hid his face behind his knees.

Seeing Sunny's doubt, Jamie huffed. "You're just… too young to write yourself off, yknow? What happened to your sister doesn't need to be what defines you for the rest of your life. There is so much more to you than you think there is. Get out there, and you might be surprised."

While Jamie was speaking, he spotted another drawing that had slid into view when he disturbed the pile. He pulled it out and snickered. "Well now. Who are these lovely, well-endowed ladies?"

Sunny went pale and snatched it from Jamie's hands. The Slime Girls. He'd like to be able to say that he'd drawn that one a long time ago, but… well, he gave it a shot anyway. "That's… that's… I just…"

Jamie laughed. "Hey, man, I don't judge. You don't wanna know what I was getting up to when I was sixteen, I can promise you." He reached for the pile again. Too late, Sunny realized what he'd found. This one was just Molly, and was way more explicit. It had been more of an experiment than anything else – he thought he'd thrown it out after drawing it.

"Scandalous," Jamie said, giggling to himself. Sunny yelped and launched himself at Jamie, trying to grab the paper off him. Jamie protected it with his body, still cackling maniacally while Sunny weakly pummelled him with his fists. "Give it back! That's… that's not fair!"

Jamie eventually relented and gave the drawing to Sunny, who immediately shredded it. No way he'd let his mom find out about that one. He took a moment to readjust his glasses – a feeling he still hadn't quite gotten used to – and turned back to Jamie to see that he'd already grabbed another drawing, though he looked a lot more serious now. "These are the others, right?" he asked, showing it to Sunny. "Kel, Basil and Aubrey?"

The drawing Jamie had found was of all six of them together in a row: Omori – no, Sunny – Aubrey, Basil, Hero, Kel and Mari. Like most of the drawings in that box, this one was drawn after Sunny left his old house. His therapist had encouraged him to draw his world whenever possible so they could better understand what was going on in his head. It was the one therapy task Sunny had taken to with gusto. This one was a little different, though: Mari looked like she did in Headspace, but the others were real, reproduced as best as Sunny could remember from his patchy memories of his few days outside. "And Mari," he added.

"And Mari," Jamie repeated. He started looking intently at the picture, like he was trying to memorize each of the faces. Maybe that was actually what he was trying to do. Had he met any of them before?

"I'm going to ask you something," Jamie said after a while. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." He looked to Sunny for approval. Sunny nodded.

"Mari is… well, for someone I'll never meet, she's ended up being quite important in my life. Could you tell me about her? Just… whatever you feel comfortable sharing. What was she like?"

What was she like? For Sunny, memory had bled into dream had bled into nightmare for so long that he found himself wondering if he even knew. He took a long time to sift through his fuzzy, half-tainted memories before answering. "She would help anyone if they asked. There was no problem she wouldn't help solve. She would listen to anyone. But she only accepted the best from people. Especially me. Everyone loved her. I think… that was what she wanted."

Jamie smiled, though there wasn't much humor in it. "Tough act to follow." He returned his gaze to the page, focusing on Mari. "Hero still keeps a picture of the two of them in his wallet. It's from a date they went on. It's very pretty. Looking at it, I can sort of begin to understand what he lost. It does make me wonder sometimes whether I measure up."

Sunny's brow creased in confusion at that last sentence. What was he talking about? His question was answered when Jamie looked at him, suddenly very nervous, and spoke again. "I have something to confess to you, Sunny. I haven't been totally honest. I said I was a friend of Hero's. That's not the whole truth. We're… we're dating. And I just… I hope you're okay with that, I guess."

Hero dating someone else? Sunny couldn't deny it felt a little strange, but Hero deserved all the happiness in the world. If that meant being with Jamie, then it didn't bother him. "I don't mind. As long as Hero is happy."

The relief that spread across Jamie's face was visible. He reached his hand out to ruffle Sunny's hair again, though Sunny batted it away. "Damn it, Sunny. You're gonna make me cry." It was true: his eyes were shimmering. "He invited me down to Faraway after Christmas, actually. The others will be there. I was hoping you could help me. How do I stay on their good side?"

Again, distinguishing the flesh and blood Kel, Aubrey and Basil from their dream counterparts was hard – especially Basil. But Sunny did his best, though his voice was getting all harsh and croaky again. "They're good people. Kel can always make you feel better. Aubrey is the strongest person I've ever met. Basil is…"

How was he meant to describe Basil? What Sunny felt about him couldn't really be described in words, especially not by someone with as few words as him.

"...he's loyal and caring. They're better friends than I deserve. They might be mad, but… they're not really mad at you. They're mad at me. Just don't try to be…"

"...Mari?" Jamie finished, another half-smile on his lips. "Probably won't be too hard. I don't think that role suits me. But thank you. I'll keep that in mind. For the record, though, given what you've just said about them, I don't think they're actually going to be mad at you. I think that if they knew you were here they'd be begging to visit you."

Sunny doubted that very much. But there was something else he needed to say: something he'd been itching to say ever since he confessed to them. "You can't… if you're going to forgive me, you have to forgive Basil too."

Jamie raised an eyebrow. "Sunny, you guys are different cases. What he did was… well…"

Sunny shook his head. "No. I don't care. He only did that because of me. You have to forgive him as well."

For a moment, Jamie paused. Then he sighed. "I can't promise you that, but… I'll try to keep an open mind. I haven't met Basil and I don't know what his story is. I promise I will hear him out, at the very least."

That wasn't what Sunny wanted to hear, but he sensed that was the best he was going to get. Still, he made sure to make clear his displeasure with a frown. Jamie's lips quirked upwards. "I do respect that you're standing by him, though. You're quite the character, you know?"

Sunny didn't quite know how to respond to that, so he just nodded. Jamie got to his feet. "I'm gonna have to head out now. There's a roast calling my name at my parents' house, and my mom will genuinely kill me if I'm not there in time to watch the Test. It's serious business. But thanks for letting me in, Sunny. I hope it helped, even just a little bit. I promise I'll do whatever I can to fix things between you and Hero. Oh, and merry Christmas, of course."

He opened his arms for a hug, and Sunny obliged. Then he was gone, leaving Sunny alone in the apartment once again. He was feeling…

…hopeful? Maybe?

He found himself returning to the drawing he'd started. Right now, there was only the beginnings of an outline of Hero, but he knew now what he wanted to put on the page. He'd need to get some old photos of Jamie to do the last part properly, which meant he'd have to send an email, but… he could do that, couldn't he?

Sunny grabbed a pencil and got to work.

Notes:

Aubrey POV! Aubrey POV!

New chapter in one week! Jamie in Faraway...

Chapter 21: Miscommunication

Summary:

Jamie arrives in Faraway, and Hero makes a slight error of judgment.

Kel's parents liked to make preparations when people were coming over, but he'd never seen anything like this before. For a start, they'd forbidden him from wearing his jersey – apparently that was 'too casual', so they put him in a button-down instead. Then they got him to clean and dust his shared room, including organizing his closet, which he hadn't done in… well, years, probably. At least Hero didn't escape it either: he'd been sent to do the same thing in the living room, while Dad mowed the front yard, took down all the Christmas decorations outside and picked up Hector's poop. Hector himself was only adding to the chaos. He could tell that something important was happening, so he spent the entire afternoon charging around the bottom floor of the house and the front yard, barking like crazy. That woke Sally up and made her start crying, which meant Mom then got mad, and it was all just a really big thing. Jamie hadn't even arrived yet and Kel already felt exhausted.

As night fell, Mom and Hero started working on dinner. Kel tried to escape upstairs but was instead forced to sit with his dad and watch television. There was at least basketball on, though the way his dad kept checking his watch every two minutes made Kel roll his eyes. He felt like they wouldn't roll out the red carpet like this for Aubrey.

Eventually his dad got tired of pretending to pay attention to the basketball and went to stand by the dining room window, peering out at the street. This gave Kel ten minutes of actual time to enjoy the game before his dad let out an excited yell. "A really beat-up car just pulled up out front!"

"That's him," Hero called from the kitchen. "Hang on, I just need to finish something…"

"No, no, I'll get the door," his dad said, jogging to the front door. At the same time, Mom came speedwalking out of the kitchen. Kel sighed and turned the TV off. It looked like the antics were not going to stop.

As soon as the first knock rang out, Dad threw the front door open. Kel craned his neck over the back of the couch, but his dad was blocking his view entirely. "Hello!" Dad boomed. "You must be Jamie. It's so nice to finally meet you. I'm Carlos. Come in, come in. Dinner is almost ready."

Finally, his dad stepped aside to reveal the new boyfriend, suitcase in hand. Hector ran up to him, tongue lolling, and Jamie gave him a few head scratches. The first thing Kel noticed was that, unlike his family, Jamie had not dressed up for the occasion. Underneath his bulky jacket was a black-and-white striped shirt that made him look French. His hair was short, brown and tightly curled. His eyes were almost indistinguishable from Basil's, which looked very strange.

Mom swooped in next. "Hello, Jamie! I'm Rosa. Hero is just in the kitchen finishing up dinner. We've been working on a special one for you. It will be ready very soon. You came just in time!"

"Oh, nice," said Jamie. His voice had a very slight accent that Kel couldn't place. "I've been told very good things about your cooking, Rosa. Hero is a very lucky man."

From Mom's smile, Kel could tell that he'd already won her over. "Oh, Hero's a good boy," she said. "Of course he's going to say good things about his mother's cooking. But, for what it's worth, I agree. Kids these days need to listen to their mothers more, don't you think?"

"Couldn't agree more," Jamie replied. His eyes landed on Kel. "Ah, there's the other person I've heard a lot about." Kel reluctantly got up off the couch as Jamie walked over to him and looked him over. Jamie was about a head shorter than him, Kel noted with surprise. Jamie offered out a hand, and Kel shook it.

"Hero tells me you're pretty good with a basketball," Jamie said, his eyes twinkling. "You've definitely got the stature for it. You in the school team?"

"Yeah." At a certain point, even the grumpy old coach couldn't deny that Kel was good enough to be in the team. That didn't mean he couldn't make Kel do extra training and generally be an asshole, though.

"Nice. You guys doing well so far? From what I remember from high school, the season has been going for a bit, right?"

"Yeah. It's been, like, a month and a half. We're doing okay." They were actually doing pretty well for a such a small school. Usually the massive city schools made mincemeat out of them, but Faraway was putting up a good fight this year. Not that Kel really felt like discussing the ins and outs of the state basketball scene with Jamie. Nor did he mention that he always played way better when Aubrey was able to show up and watch – though, to be fair, he hadn't told the rest of his family that either. They would have figured it out if they actually watched his games instead of dropping him off and leaving.

Jamie nodded. "Very cool. I never played myself, but I knew guys at my high school who were on the team. Pretty competitive environment, from what I've heard. You must be really good."

Kel went a little pink at that, but restrained himself. This was classic Hero charm right here: they really were two peas in a pod. He wouldn't be won over that easily. Someone needed to keep calm in this house, anyway: both his parents were looking at Jamie with stars in their eyes.

Hero joined them all in the living room. "Hey, Jamie. Was the trip over okay?" They hugged, and Jamie kissed his cheek. Kel's stomach couldn't help but roil a bit at the sight, but he tried to force that down. Whatever his misgivings, it was good that Hero had found someone else.

"Some ass… uh, incompetent driver cut me off on the highway," Jamie replied, "but I lived, as you can see. Dinner sounds good to me. I've been dying to see what you think is better than a classic breakfast burrito."

The four men moved into the dining room while Mom went upstairs to grab Sally, who had been napping. Kel caught her muttering "breakfast burrito?" under her breath as she left. Hero had already set out the platter of burritos, so Kel grabbed one immediately and bit into it.

He frowned. "Huh? This tastes weird. Did you…"

Hero made a frantic shushing motion, but Jamie caught on quickly. "Hero, did you dumb this down for me?"

Hero looked like a deer in headlights. "Uh… well, maybe we switched out the jalapeños for poblanos. And the sauce is less hot. But that doesn't really change anything! It's still Mom's classic burrito."

Kel was sceptical, but Jamie looked downright offended. "Hey, I'm no baby. Watch this." He took a big bite out of his own burrito. He then sat there for a few moments, exhaling through his mouth very slowly as his cheeks started going red.

"Could someone show me where the cups are, please? No reason."

"Get yourself some milk," Dad advised. "Works better than water for this sort of thing." He winked. Jamie looked very embarrassed and hurried off to the kitchen, Hero following close behind. Dad looked over at Kel and chuckled. Kel rolled his eyes, but he couldn't resist a little smile forming on his face as well. It was pretty funny, even if the burritos now tasted a bit suckier than usual.

Hero and Jamie returned to the dining table, the latter armed with a large glass of milk, just as Mom came in with Sally. "Oh, this must be Sally," Jamie said. "I've heard a lot about you." Sally giggled a bit and pointed to herself. "I 'ally."

" S ally," Mom corrected her. "S for Sally. You have to say the whole thing!"

"I'm Jamie," said Jamie. "Jay-mie."

"Ay-mie."

"Not Amy. Jay-mie."

"Amy." She giggled again, looking very pleased with herself.

"How was your Christmas, Jamie?" Mom asked once she'd gotten Sally settled in and willing to eat. "Were you with your parents?"

"Yeah, I went back to my parents' house," Jamie replied. "Gotta say, my Christmas Eve dinner probably wasn't as good as this." Mom, of course, fell for that one hook, line and sinker. Had Hero taught Jamie to do all this?

"Christmas Day is always pretty long in my household, though," Jamie continued, grinning. "My mom is Australian, so she's crazy about cricket. Every year she makes us watch the entire first day of the Boxing Day Test, which in our time starts at nine at night on Christmas Day and goes until about four in the morning. We're not allowed to fall asleep, either."

"Good Lord," said Dad. "How do you pull that off?"

"Napping in the afternoon," Jamie replied. "Dad and I try to sleep for at least three hours beforehand. It's pretty easy to stay awake if Australia are doing badly, because Mom yells at the TV constantly. Didn't happen this time, though. Three straight hours of Langer and Hayden. Yeesh."

"Kel, have you ever played cricket?" Mom asked.

"Uh… no." And he didn't know anyone who had. Weird sport.

"Shame," said Jamie. "I actually like it when it's not ruining my evening. I played for a while. I like to think I was a pretty decent fast bowler. But that kinda fell by the wayside once college prep started up, along with everything else I did in my free time."

The conversation went pretty normally from there. Jamie was asked about his studies, then about his parents (Mom looked very impressed with the answer to that one), then a bunch of other stuff. He answered with an easy confidence, always cracking a joke to lighten the mood. If he were anyone else, Kel would have probably liked him immediately, but he couldn't help but feel suspicious. He was no stranger to honeyed words.

Then the topic of conversation moved onto Hero and Jamie's relationship, and things started to slip off the rails a bit. "It must be tough being… you know, gay," Dad said, gesturing with his fork. "You know, with all the AIDS and things running around."

Jamie choked on his burrito. Hero went bright red. "Dad! What… you can't…"

But Dad had already gone off on his weird train of thought. "Hang on, you are… uh, using protection, right? I wouldn't want something like that to happen to either of you."

Hero let out a weird high-pitched squeaking noise, eyes bulging in shock, while Jamie stifled a laugh with the back of his hand. Kel winced: that was not an image he needed in his brain. Yuck. Think of literally anything else. 

"Carlos!" Mom snapped. "This is not a conversation for the dinner table! We are not going to talk about… that ."

"I'm just checking!" Dad protested, but Mom had already decided to change the topic forcefully to the only thing worse than this.

"Hero," she asked gently, "you've told Jamie about… you know… right?"

"Mari?" Hero asked. The table went quiet. Kel suddenly found his mouthful of burrito very hard to chew. Jamie didn't look confused at all, which gave away the answer to that question.

"I have," Hero said. Noticing Kel looking at him sharply, he added, "Not everything. But enough."

Jamie was looking at Kel with an indecipherable expression on his face. Those watery blue eyes really were very Basil-like. It was a weird comparison. Jamie had more self-confidence in his left pinky than Basil had in his entire body. But they were both really good at staring, apparently.

That killed the conversation for the rest of dinner, aside from Hero and Jamie occasionally muttering things to each other. Hero was constantly looking over to Jamie to check if he was enjoying the food in exactly the same way he used to do with Mari. The memory made Kel ache a little. He focused on his own plate.

Sally was getting impatient, so Mom put her down in the living room to mess around while everyone else finished their dinner. Once everyone else was done, Hero (ever the charmer) offered to clear the table and do the dishes himself. Kel was half-expecting Jamie to get up and do the dishes with him, since obviously he hadn't had enough direct reminders of Mari for today, but Mom decreed that both of them would be let off for the evening since it was a 'special day'. That, of course, meant the job would go to Kel instead.

"This was incredible," Jamie said, after taking yet another swig from his glass of milk. "I think Hero might be right that these are better than breakfast burritos. I honestly…"

Loud, terrifying choking noises suddenly started coming from the living room. Kel's eyes widened: Sally was spreadeagle on the carpet, face going purple, convulsing as she tried to hack up whatever it was that she'd swallowed. Someone blurred past Kel as Mom shot to her feet, swearing in Spanish. The blur resolved into Jamie, who scooped Sally up onto his forearm, her face pointed toward the ground, and delivered five sharp blows to her shoulderblades with the flat of his palm. Sally coughed out the blockage, which was a big chunk of one of Hector's balls, and started crying. Jamie rocked her gently, whispering soothing words to her, until she calmed down. Finally noticing that the entire family was staring at him in amazement, he stopped.

"Uh… sorry," he said. "I just… yknow, it's always a bit scary when something like that happens. Gotta act quickly. It's all good now, though. Isn't that right, Sally?"

"Amy," Sally replied, a little subdued but seemingly in good spirits. 

Mom rushed forward and took Sally, babbling at her in fast, angry Spanish, so it was left to Dad to be the polite one. "Thank you, Jamie. Young and quick, heh. I'd barely registered it by the time you got over to her. Maybe you should have studied medicine too."

Jamie chuckled, though it sounded a bit forced. Kel looked over to Hero, who looked a little shell-shocked. Hadn't Hero said at some point that Jamie didn't have any siblings?

Despite all the excitement, the rest of the evening went pretty much as normal. Dad brought out Monopoly, which Kel was actually secretly looking forward to. Even though it took such a long time and made everyone hate each other, Kel found it really fun. He had a knack for building up strong positions without anyone noticing. This game was no different: while the others fought over blues and greens, Kel quietly got his hands on properties in most of the different colors. Then, when someone really wanted a color, Kel would be there to offer it to them – in exchange for some hefty bonuses, of course. By the time the first player folded (Hero, who couldn't get a lucky dice roll to save his life), it was clear that Kel would win, so the others conceded defeat.

"At least one of you is a good strategist," Jamie said with a grin, handing over his money to Kel. "You should see your brother playing chess. Painful, I tell you."

Kel gave him a toothy grin in return, before remembering that he was supposed to be reserving judgment on Jamie. He changed it into a polite smile, but Jamie saw right through it and winked at him. "But Hero's got enough going for him," he continued, his smile wider. "He can be bad at a few things, right? Did you know he did better than me on our chemistry final? The subject I'm meant to be really good at? Typical." Hero at least had the decency to blush.

"Yeah," Kel replied. Gah. This was going horribly. Jamie was actually managing to empathize with him and it sucked. Aubrey would have been way better at this if she was here. Even Basil probably would have been. Maybe Kel was just hard-wired to succumb to charming people.

"I think it's about time for me to head to bed," Dad said, stretching and giving everyone a good view of his paunch. "Very nice to meet you, Jamie. Kel, I'll grab some blankets and pillows and set them up on the couch for you."

"Huh?" Kel asked.

"Well, we're not going to force Jamie to sleep out here," Dad explained. "He can borrow your bed for a few days. It won't be so bad."

Kel ground his teeth. Jamie didn't seem to like the sound of that either. "Oh, Mr Montoya, that won't be necessary. I can sleep out here, it's no problem. I wouldn't want to… uh, impose."

"Nonsense," said Mom. "We're not making a guest sleep on the living room couch. Besides, it might encourage Kel to get up a little earlier. He didn't get up until ten yesterday."

Kel sighed and walked off to the bathroom. He didn't want to hear any more of that. He closed the door, locked it, and stood at the mirror with his eyes closed. Of course he'd be kicked out of his room for this guy. That was just how things went, wasn't it?

There was a knock at the door, and Kel's eyes flew open. "You almost done in there, Kel?" asked Hero from outside. "I'd like to have a shower."

Talk to Aubrey. Just talk to Aubrey later.

Kel shoved everything down and opened the door for Hero, who frowned at him. "Did you flush?"

Restraining himself from snapping at Hero – because that wasn't what good brothers did – he just went back downstairs. A mass of blankets and pillows had been tossed onto the couch, so he started organizing them into something that resembled a bed. Suddenly he felt someone tap his shoulder, and he turned to find Jamie.

"I'll take over," Jamie said, smiling at him. "It's my bed, after all."

Kel looked at him questioningly.

"Dude, I'm not stealing your bed. I can stand a few nights on the couch. Go upstairs and hang out with your brother."

A little shocked, Kel muttered out a quiet "thanks" and headed for the stairs. Now that he thought about it, did he even really want to be sleeping in the same room as Hero right now? That felt like a bit of an ungrateful thought.

"Kel."

He turned. Jamie was staring at him again. He seemed like he really wanted to say something, but eventually broke eye contact and looked at the floor, lip curling in frustration. "Never mind. Good night."

"Good night," replied a bemused Kel before heading up to his room.

***

It was a warm day. The little kids were playing in the front yard – even from this distance, Hero could easily make out Kel's and Aubrey's voices as they screeched at each other. He'd probably have to deal with that later once one of them ended up injuring the other. But for now, he could enjoy a quiet post-lunch dishwashing with…

…Mari. The dream became slightly more lucid once Hero realized who he was with. But this wasn't the Mari who would speak to him, advise him, try to comfort him when he missed her. This Mari was just a memory, though he still felt that ache he always felt when remembering her. He'd always loved moments like these where the two of them could relax together, briefly free from the burden of their busy lives. His heart writhed as he thought about how many of these moments he could have had if things had gone differently.

Mari looked a little worried. "Is everything okay?" Hero asked, though it wasn't really Hero speaking – just the memory of what he had said at the time.

Mari sighed. "It's… well… I've just been a bit worried about Sunny lately. Mom and Dad have been coming down on him recently, especially since we agreed to do this recital together. They just… push, you know? I've tried to tell them that I'm working on it myself, and that the best way to get through to Sunny is by being patient and understanding, but they just won't accept it!"

The recital. A deep, boiling anger rose in Hero at the mention of it, but of course the Hero in the memory thought little of it. "Maybe it's a temporary thing. Is the recital practice going okay? They might get off his back if you guys do well there."

Irritation flickered across Mari's face, just for a brief moment before her face returned to its usual serenity. Had that actually happened, or was Hero's mind adding that in with the knowledge of what came after it? "As I said, getting through to Sunny requires some patience," she said. "He just needs to believe in himself. Everything is just this… insurmountable obstacle to him. I keep telling him the world isn't as scary as he thinks it is, but…" She sighed.

They went quiet for a little while after that, Mari washing the dishes and handing them off to Hero to dry. Outside, Kel was babbling away about something. At least nobody was yelling in pain.

"Hero, can you promise me something?" Mari asked, her brow still creased.

"Of course."

"Look out for Sunny for me, will you? I love him, but he's not the strongest. If for whatever reason I'm not around to help him when he needs it, could you do it instead? You know how much he looks up to you."

In real life, Hero had agreed without a second thought. Here, though, the older Hero broke through. "What if he did something unforgivable, Mari? What if he's the reason you're not around anymore? What if he… he ruined everything?"

Mari set down the plate she was washing and turned to face him. It only hit Hero then how young she really was – younger than any of the little kids were now. All of them were taller than her now, even Sunny.

"Did he really do something unforgivable?" she asked. "Or did he just ruin everything?"

Hero winced and clutched his chest before his eyes even opened. He had kind of hoped that this would have stopped happening by now, but the world was not that kind to him. Every time he woke up he still felt like he was crawling out of a tight tunnel. At least he'd stopped remembering his dreams, though he always felt a lingering sadness that suggested his dreams hadn't changed much.

He did miss seeing Mari, even though it was only in his head. Her advice would have been very helpful right now. Somehow he couldn't imagine her letting things get to the same point with Sunny as he had with Kel.

Hero turned his head. It was still pitch black outside, so he couldn't see his brother sleeping on the other side of the room, but from the occasional soft breathing sound he could tell that Kel was there. It also meant he couldn't see his alarm clock. What time was it, and why had he woken up so early?

The second question was answered first, as a faint mumbling noise drifted up from downstairs. Was that the TV? Hero frowned, swung out of bed, and immediately stubbed his toe on the trophy standing in front of his bookcase. He hopped around in place for a moment, gritting his teeth and trying not to wake Kel up. Once he'd recovered, he quietly left the room and padded downstairs.

He found Jamie sitting in front of the TV, the volume turned down so low as to be almost inaudible. Even with how quiet it was, though, Sweetheart's vile laugh was instantly recognizable. It looked like Jamie had raided their box of old tapes – this was a movie Hero remembered going to see with Mari when he was fourteen. He had not enjoyed it.

"Morning," he whispered, causing Jamie to shoot off the couch in alarm. Jamie whipped his head towards Hero, only for his expression to soften as he realized who it was. Before Hero could say anything else, Jamie wrapped him in a tight hug, resting his chin on Hero's shoulder.

"O-oh," was all Hero could say, returning the hug despite his slight surprise. Jamie could be touchy-feely at times, but something about this felt a little different. After a few moments, Jamie took his head off Hero's shoulder and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him. His breath was pretty foul, and Hero guessed his own probably was as well, but he didn't mind too much. He'd wanted to do this yesterday, but… well, he wasn't willing to do anything like that in front of Kel or his parents.

"Was trying to get you by yourself yesterday so we could do this," Jamie said as he pulled away, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "You didn't cooperate. Too busy being a good boy. But I've got you here now, so I can't complain too much."

Hero felt a blush spreading. "Oh… uh… heh. Uh, any reason for that? You seemed… I don't know, like you needed that?"

Jamie hesitated just a beat too long before responding. "Just missed you. I actually don't think we've gone this long without seeing each other since we first met."

That was an uncharacteristically bad lie – Jamie most certainly was not the type to get clingy over not seeing him for a week. Hero raised an eyebrow. Seeing his doubt, Jamie sighed. "Okay, not quite. When I got to the house, I saw those pinwheels you talked about by the dog kennel, the blue and orange ones representing you and Kel. But I saw the purple one as well. Then when your mom mentioned Mari yesterday… I don't know. I guess I just kinda got an idea of what this place means to you."

Hero's eyes widened. "Wait… Mari's pinwheel is in our front yard?"

Jamie looked at him strangely. "Uh… yeah. You can go out and check. It's right between yours and Kel's. I thought it would have been you who moved it."

"No, that wasn't me. I… I didn't even notice." Had Kel done that at some point? It had to have been him, right? Hero doubted that his parents would have done that. Now he felt bad. He couldn't just ask Kel about it, since he'd have to admit he hadn't noticed it for days. But would not mentioning it at all be worse?

Okay. He'd figure that out later. For the moment, he was standing in the cold living room in his pajamas and Sweetheart was on his TV – two things he did not like. He sat down on the couch and pulled Jamie's blankets over himself. "You're up way earlier than usual. I thought you'd still be stumbling around like a zombie at this hour."

Jamie chuckled slightly. "Uh… well, don't tell your mom this or she'll boot Kel down here again, but this couch is really uncomfortable to sleep on. But that's okay. I can be stoic for a few days."

"Kel looked so surprised when he came up to our room," said Hero, smiling at the memory. "He was not expecting you to do that. But if you have early morning TV all to yourself, why would you pick the most obnoxious person on Earth to watch?"

"Funny you should say that," replied Jamie, sitting down next to him, "because I was actually looking for cricket. South Africa are playing Pakistan right now. Sadly, your cable subscription doesn't seem to have it, so I decided to watch my idol instead."

Hero wrinkled his nose. "Your idol? She's unbearable."

Jamie sighed dramatically. "Of course someone like you would say that. You don't understand. She is power. She is beauty. She is grace. She truly has the most pulchritudinous face. I wish I could be a tenth as cool as her."

They watched the rest of the movie together, Jamie gleefully prodding Hero whenever Sweetheart did something irritating (i.e. all the time). Though he'd never admit it, Hero actually found the whole experience kind of fun. But he was very hungry by the end of it, so he got up to fry up some bacon and eggs in the kitchen while Jamie hovered over him like a vulture, demanding he add ridiculous amounts of salt. Soon enough, the smell brought Kel downstairs, blinking the sleep out of his eyes and cracking his neck.

"Morning," said Hero. "Did you sleep well in your nice comfortable bed?"

Kel looked like he was about to clap back, but a sudden yawn disrupted his concentration. "Yeah. It's so early, man. You guys got somewhere to be?"

"Blame this guy," replied Hero, tilting his head towards Jamie. "He decided he really needed to get in an early morning Sweetheart viewing."

Jamie raised his hands. "Guilty as charged."

"Sweetheart?" Kel asked, furrowing his brow. "Huh? Why that? "

Hero chuckled. "See, Jamie? Kel agrees with me. Of all the things you could have watched, you picked the worst."

Jamie was gearing up to respond when a muffled ringtone echoed through the living room. "That'll be mine," he said, heading back to the couch. "Who's ringing me this early? Probably Dad."

That left just Hero and Kel in the kitchen. Kel grabbed a plate for himself and leaned against the kitchen counter, eyes fixed greedily on the pan. Hero had never met anyone as food motivated as his brother. It was kind of impressive.

Jamie was quickly back into the room, his expression grave. "Okay, Hero, breakfast might have to wait. We have a bit of a Code Red. That was Daphne calling. Apparently the family was doing early morning baking prep, and they found Bowen's…" – his eyes quickly went to Kel before moving back to Hero – "...his thing. Yknow."

Hero frowned. "Oh, no. That's not good. I'm assuming that didn't go well?"

"It did not," Jamie confirmed. "Daph said we'd better get over there. The two of them are at 'the park' now – she said you'd know what that meant."

Hero rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, I do. Alright, just give me a few minutes to get ready to go." He turned to Kel. "Hey, sorry about this. It's a bit of an emergency. Just… don't let anything burn, okay? Don't touch the surface of the pan. And remember to turn the stove off when it's done."

Kel looked very confused. "Uh… okay?"

Hopefully Hero wouldn't come home to a house in flames, but there didn't seem like there was any option other than to take the risk. From everything Hero had heard about Bowen's parents, this was the nightmare scenario. He rushed upstairs to put on some warm clothes. When he came back down, Jamie was already bundled up and waiting at the front door. Kel's head was poking out of the doorway to the kitchen, frowning at them.

"Watch the pan!" Hero called to him as they left.

It was a sunny but absolutely freezing morning. The slight breeze rolling down the street felt like it was cutting straight through him. Hero grimaced and shoved his hands into his pockets. To think that Aubrey had been living through this in her rickety old house without any clothes even remotely suited to the weather… no wonder she was so pissed off at the world. Polly really was an angel for taking her in. Basil as well. Now that was a weird thought.

"How bad did it sound?" Hero asked, drawing his mind away from that line of thought.

"Pretty bad," Jamie answered. "Daph sounded like she was about to cry, and… well, you know how those two are. If I could tell over the phone, that's not a good sign."

"Yeah," said Hero, quickening his pace. "I'd like to think that their parents wouldn't freak out over something as small as this, but they've always been really strange. I really hope nothing bad comes out of this."

"Especially given I was the one who made the bet with him in the first place," Jamie murmured, almost too quietly for Hero to hear. Hero didn't say anything. Best not to catastrophize until they knew the extent of the damage.

They found the twins sitting together on the bench by the park swings. The place was totally deserted apart from the four of them – no child in their right mind was getting up this early on a weekend to go and play in a freezing cold park. Bowen was sitting with his head on his knees, Daphne whispering to him with one arm slung around his broad shoulders. As they got closer, Hero noted with shock that Bowen was audibly crying.

Jamie jogged up to Bowen and crouched at his side. "Hey, dude. I'm here with Hero. You doing okay?" Bowen responded by hunching further in on himself.

"What happened?" Hero asked Daphne.

"We were preparing to open the bakery for the morning," she replied, her lower lip trembling. "Bowen was washing some of the equipment and rolled up his sleeve too far. Father only caught a glimpse of it, but he knew what it was immediately. He was… he was furious. I don't think I've ever seen him that angry in my life. He told Bowen that he would be sent to Hell for what he had done. I… I thought Father might actually hit him… I…" She trailed off, swallowing.

Jamie's fists clenched. "Fucking prick," he muttered. "Piece of… ugh."

"Is there any chance this might just be a temporary thing?" Hero asked. "Will he cool down a bit if you leave him be for a while?"

Daphne looked at the ground. "I… it would not be usual for him. He did not threaten to take Bowen out of college or anything of the sort, but… well, this is exactly what he feared was going to happen when he let Bowen leave. I do not know what will happen now. Father made it clear that we are not welcome in the bakery today, so… now we are here."

Hero pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Well, I suppose there's still hope for now, at least. Is there anything you could do to make it up to your dad? Take extra shifts, or… something like that?"

He turned to Jamie for more ideas, only to find him gazing off into the distance with a confused look on his face. "What the hell…?" he said.

Turning to look in the same direction as Jamie, Hero immediately understood the confusion. A horde of teenagers was moving through the park on sleek silver scooters. For the two biggest members of the group, the scooters looked comically small. The only one not equipped with a scooter was the girl heading the pack: Aubrey on her bicycle, her long pink hair trailing in the wind. By the looks of it, they were heading to the old hangout spot. As they watched, though, one of the scooters left the group and headed towards them. The urine-colored wig made Mikhael (The Maverick?) recognizable from a long way off.

Mikhael skidded to a halt in front of the four of them, looking visibly uncomfortable under Hero's and Jamie's stares. "Um… hi, Bowen."

That got Bowen's attention. He lifted his head, showing a face so wrecked with tears that Hero took an involuntary step backwards. He'd never seen Bowen look anything like that: he could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen Bowen have any expression other than his usual stoic one.

"Your… um, your tattoo," Mikhael continued, voice uncertain. "I think it looks… um, pretty cool. It's cool."

The silence was so complete you could hear a pin drop.

"Also… Dad was talking about, um, forcing you to drop out of college. Stuff like that. So I, um, I said that I would help out at the bakery sometimes. If he didn't do that. Because I think that's unfair. So… yeah. He said he wouldn't."

Bowen just gaped at him, the tears stopping for a moment out of sheer shock. Withering under the stares of all four of them, Mikhail stuttered out a final "y-yeah" and got back on his scooter, racing off towards the hangout spot.

"Wow," said Jamie eventually.

"He doesn't usually work at the bakery, does he?" Hero asked.

Daphne shook her head in wonder. "No. Our little brother has never wanted anything to do with the family business before. Father has always wanted to bring him in, but even he could not match Mikhael for stubbornness."

Jamie chuckled. "Deus ex machina, huh? Well, that's a piece of unbelievably good luck. I wouldn't go getting any more tattoos though, Bowen, if I were you. And maybe buy your brother a new console or something."

"Console," Bowen mumbled – the first word he'd spoken so far. "Yes, I think… I should get him something."

"Speaking of which," Hero said, "there's someone we needed to see there, Jamie. The girl with the pink hair riding the bike was Aubrey. I think I'll introduce you."

"That was her?" Jamie asked. "I didn't realize we were dealing with hardened criminals here."

Hero rolled his eyes. "Maybe don't make that joke to her face. She's had a pretty rough time, and she's very protective of her new friends. Also, don't be too surprised if she's a little… aggressive."

"I like aggressive. Lead on." He turned to the twins. "Best of luck to you two. Hopefully nothing else happens. If it does, though, call me up and I'll steal some vodka for you."

Daphne gave him a queasy smile, while Bowen didn't respond at all, still staring off into the distance like he'd just witnessed a miracle. Hero led Jamie through the park to the overgrown entrance to the hangout spot, pushing through all the discarded warning signs and nearly tripping over the scooters the Hooligans had dumped in various places. As they emerged into the clearing by the lake, Hero spotted the Hooligans ambling around by the pier. The short and snappy one – Kim, Hero recalled – was barking orders.

It felt strange seeing the Hooligans here, like a splash of bright yellow paint on a black canvas. In Hero's mind, the hangout spot was for them. Though, that being said, he'd just brought Jamie here, who was more literally a splash of bright yellow paint on a black canvas since that was the color palette he'd chosen for the day. Hero could never tell if Jamie genuinely liked dressing like that or if he was just messing with people.

Aubrey was standing with Kim's brother on the pier. Kim's brother had something in his hand that Aubrey was leaning towards. Hero frowned. Was that a lighter?

He peered closer and sucked in his breath. Aubrey had a cigarette dangling from her lips, and Kim's brother was lighting it for her.

"Hero," Jamie warned, but Hero paid no attention. He sped up, striding over to the two so quickly that Jamie had to jog behind him to keep up. The other Hooligans quickly spotted them, but none were brave enough to confront them after seeing the look on Hero's face. Kim rushed over to Aubrey and whispered something to her as Hero bore down on them.

Aubrey's head turned. "Great," she said, as Hero marched up to her.

"What are you doing?" Hero demanded.

Aubrey's lip curled. "I don't know. What does it look like?"

"I… where did you even get that? Who gave it to you?"

"I did," said Kim's brother, crossing his beefy arms in front of him. Hero rounded on him, looking him up and down with fire in his eyes.

"You bought a cigarette for her? For a sixteen year old? Or did you steal it? Either way, it's illegal."

Kim's brother looked unimpressed. "I'm old enough to buy them myself, thanks. And yeah, I do buy cigarettes for her sometimes. I think it's better for her to get them from me than to try stealing them and land in hot water with the cops. Which has happened before, by the way, but I'm guessing you didn't know that. Plus, whatever Aubrey does Kim does as well, and I definitely don't need her getting into trouble as well."

Aubrey narrowed her eyes at him on hearing that, but Hero reacted first. "That's… you're an adult! You should be keeping her far away from that stuff, not… enabling it!"

Kim's brother stared at him. "All the shit that's going on in Aubrey's life, and you're expecting me to freak out over cigarettes?"

"Okay, stop," said Jamie and Aubrey at the same time. Aubrey swiveled to look at Jamie, who had a distinctly pained look on his face.

"So you're the new guy," she said.

Jamie groaned. "Yes. Can we stop escalating this, please?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Aubrey snapped. "Forgive me if I'm wrong, but the way I remember this whole thing starting was me minding my own fucking business out here before Mr Perfect decided to charge in and lay down the law."

"How am I the bad guy here?" Hero asked, turning back to her.

Aubrey laughed in disbelief. "How are you the bad guy? You, who fucked off as soon as things got hard and left us all here? Friends are supposed to be there for each other, huh? So much for that, I guess. But, yknow, feel free to keep pretending to be the group dad. Can't even be there for your own brother, but you can take time out of your day to police my fucking cigarettes. You know what? If you didn't want me to smoke, maybe you should have been around when I was fourteen and angry and trying to do shit to piss people off."

Hero's fists were clenched. A cloud was settling over his brain. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kim getting a phone out of her pocket. "What have you been saying to Kel about me?"

Aubrey barked out another laugh. "Oh yeah, good one. I'm the reason Kel isn't falling into your arms like he always does. Newsflash, asshole: he doesn't like you because you were a fucking failure of a brother to him. Again. Yknow, before you came back I promised Kel I'd beat the shit out of you the next time I saw you. More than once, actually. I'm starting to think I should have followed through with that."

"That's enough," came a voice from behind him, and a hand grabbed his arm. Hero was going to ignore it and fire back at Aubrey, but the grip on his arm suddenly turned to steel and wrenched him backwards. Jamie dragged him away, back through the trees, and didn't let go of Hero's arm until they were back in the main park area. The twins had disappeared at some point.

As soon as Jamie let go, Hero whirled around to him, ready to give him a piece of his mind. But Jamie got there first. "What the fuck were you thinking?" he spat.

Just like that, the cloud on his mind lifted. It left him feeling confused. "What? I… I was just…"

"You were just trying your best to piss everyone off," Jamie hissed. "What the fuck was that? You're not her dad. You can't get away with doing this parent roleplay thing, not when you've just come back after running away for half a year. You're supposed to be the one who thinks! Christ. And that girl with the undercut is definitely on the phone to your brother right now, by the way. You're gonna be dead meat once we get back."

He turned and marched off, leaving Hero gaping like a fish in his wake. After throwing a desultory look back towards the hangout spot, he followed Jamie, trying to sift through his thoughts. It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but… well, Kel wouldn't see it that way, would he? How much damage had he just done in the space of a few minutes?

True to the prediction, Kel was leaning against the front fence of their house. As soon as he spotted the two of them, he stood up straight and folded his arms, staring straight at Hero with an anger that Hero had never seen on his brother's face before.

Jamie snorted. "I'll leave you two to it," he said, walking around Kel and back into the house.

Kel took the couch that night.

Notes:

Hero simply cannot stop winning.

The guy I named Jamie after now wants me to write Hero/Jamie smut. The kicker is that the real Jamie is already dating someone. Very curious.

New chapter in one week!

Chapter 22: New Year

Summary:

Hero celebrates his birthday. Aubrey does some detective work.

"Happy birthday, champ!" said Dad, drawing him into a bone-crushing hug. "Twenty years old! Ah, you're making me feel ancient. Seems like only yesterday I was driving you to your first day of school. Do you remember how you cried and stuck yourself to my leg for half an hour?"

"Yes, Dad, I do," Hero sighed. "You bring that up every year."

"How does it feel to finally join the club?" Jamie asked.

Hero laughed. "It feels wrong that you're older than me."

"You just don't get it. In those extra four months I've had, I've learned more about the world than you could possibly understand. Spiritually, I am centuries older than you."

"Uhuh. Right." Hero cast a hopeful glance at Kel, who was sitting on the couch next to Jamie, but wasn't too surprised to get nothing. His fight with Aubrey had brought him pretty much straight back to square one with Kel. Which was a real problem, because they had already organized to hang out – all four of them plus Jamie – for Hero's birthday. The person Hero was on the best terms with right now was probably Basil, which felt weird.

There was a loud thump from the direction of the stairs, followed by some loud and angry Spanish from Mom. Dad rushed out of the room to assist, leaving Hero, Jamie and Kel in the living room – along with Sally, who was busy trying to hone her walking skills by holding herself up against one of the bookshelves. Hero noticed that both Jamie and Kel were watching her like hawks, and fought back a smile. Such natural protective big brothers.

Unlike you.

Though that was strange, wasn't it? Jamie was an only child. Come to think of it, it was also a bit strange how he was so quick to react when Sally started choking on his first night here.

That train of thought was interrupted by his parents re-entering the room, his dad carrying a big present which clearly had once been impeccably gift-wrapped but was now looking a bit dinted. Mom looked unhappy. "If that broke it… dios mío. They better have a good refund policy."

"This is your first present from us," Dad announced, offering the present to him. "It's a pretty big one! Hopefully you'll be able to make good use of it."

Hero began to tear open the wrapping, which proved interesting enough for Sally to come over and demand to be the one to do it instead. Hero craned his neck around her to peek at the box inside, and gasped as he saw the name of the product. "A laptop? What… how much did this cost?"

"A lot," said Mom, "so we're expecting you to use it a lot. The man at the computer shop told me they have these word processing programs that you can use to take notes in class so you don't need to carry paper around."

Woah. Hero knew barely anyone with a laptop at college – Jamie did, but he didn't count since his parents were absolutely loaded. He didn't know too much about computers, but he knew that something like this must have been really expensive. And Mom had immediately dropped it.

"Set it up later," Dad advised. "It'll probably take a while to figure out. And we still have your second present to give you! This one's not just for you."

"Oh?" said Hero. He began to run through the possibilities. Maybe it was some ticket for two thing they'd bought that he and Kel could do together. He'd heard there was a new paintball place downtown: maybe that was it? That would be a great opportunity to bond a bit with his brother…

Mom produced a voucher from her pocket. "This entitles you to a free dinner for two at the fancy French place downtown – the one near the library, if you remember it. Your father actually took me there once many years ago. We thought you could take your lovely new friend there. Probably not anytime soon, since he's leaving tomorrow, but this voucher is valid for a full year."

"Wow," said Jamie, smirking at him. "French, huh? I really am spoiled."

Hero grinned at him. That was pretty good too. He hadn't had a dinner date since Mari, and even that one was necessarily budget-constrained due to them both being fifteen. A proper one… that could be fun. He did want to see Jamie in a suit.

A little voice in his mind protested, though, and his gaze moved to Kel. His brother was looking off into the distance, seemingly not paying any attention to what was happening in front of him, but there was a slight downturn on his face that suggested some resentment. Hero's enthusiasm dimmed a little. He'd been excited at the thought of being able to do something with Kel. Maybe he should. He'd been thinking about getting a job for a while. Once he did, he could save up enough for the two of them to do something together.

"The sandwiches are ready for when you boys head out," said Mom, putting the voucher into Hero's hand. One benefit of being the birthday boy was that he didn't have to make all the sandwiches for the picnic again. Today was a bit warmer than the last time they'd tried this, so hopefully they'd be able to make a real picnic out of it – as long as Aubrey didn't tear his head off as soon as she saw him.

"We've been told to be there in twenty minutes," Jamie reported, getting up off the couch and stretching. "We'd better get ourselves ready to go." Kel got up as well, again not saying a word.

"Oh, one more thing," said Mom. "We've invited the family over to celebrate as well. They should be arriving sometime in the mid-afternoon, and we'll be cooking dinner for them. That means you and me! I'll call you once it's time for you to head back and help out."

So much for not doing any cooking. Hero's face fell. Why did they always do this without telling him anything beforehand? He'd probably have to cut the picnic short for this. "O-okay, Mom. Uh… how many people are coming over?"

"Eleven," Mom replied, counting on her fingers. "Papa, my sister and her family, Uncle Ignacio – not Manuel, he's out of the country right now…"

"And a couple of my brothers and their wives as well," Dad finished. Hero did his best to avoid sighing. Eleven visitors plus the six people already here… it looked like he'd be spending most of the afternoon and evening in the kitchen. On his birthday. But he couldn't really say no to Mom, could he?

"Happy birthday," said Jamie, an ironic grin on his face. "I guess we'd better get going now, then. The clock is ticking."

The three of them got ready to leave, Kel still pretty much unresponsive. Jamie retrieved a dubiously-wrapped gift from his bag – it had been decided that all his friends would give him presents at the picnic rather than having Kel and Jamie give him theirs beforehand. If any of them were planning on giving him presents now, of course. Surprisingly, Kel seemed to have one as well, but Hero wouldn't have bet much on Aubrey getting him anything.

"I feel like you're my bodyguards," Jamie joked as the three of them walked down the street, Kel and Hero in position on either side of him. "You know, it's kind of insane how tall you both are. Neither of your parents are that tall."

Hero shrugged. "Good luck, I guess. I don't know how good of a bodyguard I'd be, though."

"Yeah, I'd want Kel as my bodyguard. He looks like he could beat up any potential assassins for me. You'd just, like, tell them off or something." Hero chuckled, but there was no reaction from Kel. He didn't seem like he was paying much attention to the conversation.

Aubrey and Basil were sitting on the swings at the park. As the three of them approached, Hero decided it would probably be best to open with an apology to clear the air. "Hey, Aubrey," he said. Aubrey just looked at him with a neutral expression on her face. At least she didn't look like she was about to hit him. And she didn't have her bat.

"I'm sorry for what happened at the hangout spot. You're right that I don't really have a leg to stand on, heh. It's your business. I'm sorry for trying to impose myself like that. Just… I just hope that you're staying safe. That's all."

Aubrey stayed quiet for a moment. Basil nudged her and gave her a pointed look. "Yeah," she said. "I said some stuff I shouldn't have said as well. Stuff that wasn't really fair. And I get that you were just trying to… help. It's whatever. We can put it behind us."

Hero smiled softly. "I'm glad. It's better picnic weather today, so hopefully we can have a better time than our last attempt. The food isn't mine this time, sadly, but my mom is a great cook. Although I will have to leave sooner than expected. Apparently I have to cook dinner for a bunch of my extended family tonight."

"You really need to learn how to say no," Jamie chimed in. That made Hero remember that he had to do some introductions.

"So, this is Jamie. He's… my boyfriend. Uh, you've already met Aubrey." Aubrey gave him a desultory wave, and Jamie grinned at her. "And this here is Basil. He's got the best garden in Faraway, and he's a bit of a demon with a camera."

Basil blushed at the compliments. After an awkward moment of Jamie and Basil just staring at each other, Jamie extended a hand to him. Basil shook it hesitantly. Jamie opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it again.

"Shall we find somewhere to set up?" Hero asked.

He was expecting the others to just follow him quietly like last time, but Aubrey spoke up. "Yeah. We should go under that tree over there. I think that's a good spot." Basil licked his lips and nodded slightly.

After a moment of confusion at the newfound enthusiasm for picnic locations, Hero finally clocked what they were telling him: they would not be having a picnic at the hangout spot today, not with Jamie joining them. Hero couldn't really begrudge them that, so he and Jamie laid out the blanket and all their various other materials. They all sat together in a loose circle, with a noticeable gap between Hero and Jamie on one side and the younger kids on the other. Everyone grabbed sandwiches.

"Should we start with the presents?" Jamie suggested, very obviously trying not to smile. That was a warning sign if ever he'd seen one. Hero could only guess at what horrors his boyfriend had in store for him.

"A-ah, y-yes!" Basil stuttered at an oddly loud volume. "I mean… y-yes. Happy birthday, H-Hero. Ah… I was going to give you something else at first, b-but I was looking through some old storage boxes and… I found some of my old ph-photos that didn't make it into the album. I… I picked one for y-you." He seemed to be rethinking his choice as he spoke. "I h-hope you like it…?"

Basil reached into his pocket and pulled out a Polaroid. Hero swallowed and reached forward to take it. Would it be another photo of him and Mari? Did he even want that? Obviously he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to have more memories of her, but… would it make things any better? Would Jamie be mad?

As he took the photo, though, his fear melted away. It wasn't him and Mari – instead, it was him and Kel. Hero was giving his younger brother a piggyback ride. Kel's face was frozen mid-holler, his arms flailing madly in the air. His energy seemed to burst through the picture frame. The younger Hero was bending over under the onslaught, looking like he was about to topple over, but was laughing as well. The older Hero smiled as well, though not without a touch of sadness.

He showed the photo to Kel. "Imagine if I tried to do this now," he joked.

Kel's expression as he looked at the photo was unreadable. That was weird: Kel's expression was never unreadable. He let out a sharp exhale through his nose, but said nothing. Hero fought to keep the smile on his face as he tucked the photo away into his own pocket. He'd have to find a good place to store this. He already had a photo of him and Kel on his desk at college, but this one was really nice.

"Thanks, Basil," he said, earning himself a shy smile in return. "If you've got more photos like that, we should look through them sometime. I remember you did take a lot more photos than you put in the album."

"Maybe," said Basil, though he didn't look too enthusiastic about the idea. Hero couldn't blame him. Looking at a past he helped to destroy couldn't be that enjoyable.

"You want to go next?" Hero asked Jamie.

"Nope," came the reply. "I'll go last. Trust me, it'll be worth the wait."

Oh dear. "Alright, then," said Hero. "So…"

Aubrey shifted uncomfortably. "I, uh, wasn't able to get you anything. Not because I was mad at you… well, not just because I was mad at you. Things are pretty tight right now."

"That's okay," Hero replied. "No pressure. Kel?"

Kel sighed and offered out his present. Hero was just about to take it when Kel suddenly retracted it and took something off it: the card, Hero realized. Only then did he allow Hero to take the present. Something wrenched in Hero's stomach, but he did his best to put on a brave face. He didn't want to risk getting into another argument with Kel. Things were fragile enough right now.

When he opened the present, he was initially a little confused. "A… blood pressure monitor?"

Kel looked embarrassed. "I… kinda figured that you weren't doing so good sometimes. At college, I mean. So, just… don't have a heart attack on us or anything. And maybe you'll need it to be a doctor or whatever. Sorry. It's kinda dumb."

"It's not dumb," said Jamie. "I'll be making sure he uses it. Lord knows he needs to take better care of himself."

Hero's lower lip trembled. Was Kel really this worried about him? Did he think that Hero was seconds away from dropping? Six months ago, would he have even been wrong?

Before he had much time to think about it, he found himself pulling his brother into a tight hug. Kel gasped a little in shock, but hesitantly returned it. Hero squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop himself from bursting into tears. When he pulled away, he noticed that Kel's eyes were shimmering as well. "Thanks," he managed to choke out without betraying too much emotion. "Sorry for… making you worry."

Kel mumbled something he couldn't hear and looked off to the side, cheeks red.

"And you?" Hero asked Jamie, his tone teasing.

Jamie grinned broadly and gave him his present. "Yep. You're gonna love this. I painted it myself."

Painted? Wow. Now he was really interested. Hero tore open the wrapping, only to nearly faint on the spot as he saw the painting. Cackling madly, Jamie took the picture from him and displayed it proudly to the others. Aubrey made a gagging noise, Basil blushed and looked away, and Kel stared at it in horror.

The painting was, allegedly, of Hero. He was reclining on some kind of couch thing, naked except for a pair of boxers, skin oiled. His expression was way, way, way more sultry than any face he would actually make in real life, and this Hero had very well-defined muscles where the real one did not. As icing on the cake, the boxers Hero was wearing were very tight-fitting, so much so that there was a very clear… outline… around the crotch area.

"I worked very hard on this one," Jamie said proudly.

"With one hand?" Aubrey asked, rolling her eyes. Next to her, Basil made a strange squeaking sound, and she clapped one hand over his eyes. "Don't get any ideas, Basil," she said.

"Hey!" Basil protested weakly, batting her hand away and shooting furtive glances at the painting. Hero put his head in his hands, trying not to drown under the wave of embarrassment.

"Look at him, he's so shy," cooed Jamie. "This is why I made this masterpiece so you can see what he's really like."

"What am I even meant to do with this?" Hero mumbled into his hands.

"Put it above your bed," Jamie advised. "It will be an affirmation for you when you wake up in the morning."

Kel made a choked noise. "Don't put that in our room! I don't need to see that! Ugh, man…"

Jamie started cackling again. Hero peered through his hands to see that Aubrey was trying to stifle her own laughter, while both Kel and Basil looked like they were really going through it – though for different reasons.

"It… it looks good…?" Basil tried. Hero and Kel groaned at the same time on hearing that, which only made Jamie laugh louder.

"This is actually the first painting I've done in a while," Jamie said after he'd calmed down a bit. "Seems like I've still got it. Though maybe it was just because I was struck by inspiration." Blood rushed to Hero's face again. Was this Jamie's plan to make friends with the others: just embarrass him continually? If so, it was working way too well. Aubrey looked a lot less tense than before, and even Basil was seeing the funny side of it.

Aubrey grinned. "Have you been working out, Hero?"

"Stop!" Hero said. "We are not talking about this thing anymore! Jamie, please put it away. I'll… I'll figure out what to do with that once I'm back home."

"Not in our room," Kel begged.

"I'm not going to put it in our room!" replied an exasperated Hero. Did Kel think he wanted to see this nightmarish version of himself smirking down at him every day? Jamie put the painting back in his bag, though it was still burned into Hero's mind – and everyone else's as well, judging by the way Kel kept randomly shivering.

Surprisingly, it was Basil who spoke up next. "So… y-you paint?"

"I do," Jamie replied, looking at his sandwich in deep contemplation. "I picked it up after… well, a while ago now. Haven't been doing it so much these days because of college, but I thought I would make a lovely present for my lovely boyfriend who seems so very ungrateful."

Indignant, Hero started to say something before noticing that Jamie was staring straight at him and trying not to laugh. Hero had taken the bait enough times by now over the course of their relationship to recognize when it was being thrown at him, so he shut his mouth. Jamie giggled and nudged him. Hero bumped him back and smiled. God, his laugh was adorable.

"Do you… draw?" Basil asked, sounding a little more hesitant this time. "Like with p-pencils?" Hero's eyes immediately swivelled to him.

"Eh, I used to sometimes," Jamie answered. "Painting is definitely my preferred medium, though. If only because it looks way cooler."

"Do you know anyone else who… who draws?" There it was. Hero had suspected where Basil was going with this, and it looked like Aubrey and Kel had caught on as well. He was confident that Basil wouldn't get anywhere with this line of questioning: even if Jamie had seen Hero with Sunny, he had no way of knowing that Sunny was into drawing. The fact that Basil was even asking this question was a bit concerning. Was he so desperate to see Sunny again that he asked everyone he met about him on the offchance that someone might have come across him?

"Not really, to be honest," said Jamie, his face perfectly placid. "Why? Looking for lessons or something?" He still wasn't looking at Basil when he was speaking. That was a bit weird. Jamie wasn't the type to be bad with eye contact. Maybe Basil was just a little intense for him.

"No," Basil replied, looking slightly deflated. "Just w-wondering."

After that, the conversation moved elsewhere. Hero became more relaxed as the thought of Sunny receded from his mind. Jamie's naturally bubbly personality seemed to be winning over the others – even Kel, who was noticeably quieter than usual today – which was very good. As midday came and went, it actually started to get pretty warm. Hero started to feel sleepy. Maybe if he was lucky he'd be able to sneak in a nap before he spent the rest of the afternoon cooking…

"...and that's how I ended up in the principal's office for three hours," Jamie was saying in conclusion to some epic story Hero had already heard five times before. "It was a bit fucked up, I won't lie, but it was memorable at least."

"Hey, wait," said Aubrey, turning to Hero. "You don't have anything to say about that?"

"About what?" Hero asked.

Kel gaped at him. "Are you seriously telling me you're not a swear word Nazi when it's him?"

Jamie frowned. "Wait, Hero, you're a swear word Nazi?"

And just like that, the spotlight was back on him. "I… Jamie is an adult! He can say what he likes, within reason."

"Yup. Get fucked," Jamie told the others, a smug grin on his face. Aubrey immediately flipped him off. Hero put his head in his hands.

Suddenly he felt a buzzing in his pants. Saved by the bell. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, confirmed that it was his mom calling, and quickly told her that he would get back home as soon as possible.

"That's your cue?" Jamie asked as Hero hung up.

"Sure is," Hero confirmed. "I'm gonna have to go now, guys. Thanks for coming out here, everyone. It means a lot to me, and I'm glad you're all with me this year. Seriously. And again, Aubrey, I'm really sorry about what happened at the hangout spot."

Aubrey murmured something in reply that Hero didn't quite catch.

"So are you guys planning on hanging around still? I'll take the picnic stuff back home with me if not."

Aubrey shrugged. "I've got nothing to do for the rest of the day. Neither does Basil." Basil squinted at her, but didn't contradict her.

"Okay," said Hero. "So, Jamie. Responsible adult?"

"Theoretically."

Hero sighed. "Good enough, I suppose. Can you just make sure nobody hurts themselves?"

Jamie turned to the others. "Is there ice cream or something close by? I need sugar."

"There's Miss Candice's candy store in Othermart," Kel said. "It's like five minutes' walk away."

"Excellent. Let's go get candy. On the house!"

Hero sighed again. He probably should have expected that. That being said, it was a good idea. Kel in particular seemed to like people who gave him free food. He was sort of like Hector in that way.

"Well, you guys enjoy that," Hero said, gathering up all the picnic stuff and turning to leave. He only made it a few steps, though, before he felt a tugging on his sleeve. He turned around to find Aubrey, looking at him with that indecipherable neutral expression she always seemed to be wearing if she wasn't angry. A few paces away, the other three boys were talking amongst themselves.

"Have you told Jamie about what really happened to Mari?" she asked before Hero had a chance to say anything. "Or about Sunny and Basil's fight?"

Hero scratched the back of his neck. "Well… no. I told him that Mari committed suicide. I know I should tell him the truth. I know. And I will tell him at some point. I don't like lying to him, obviously. It's just…  honestly, even thinking about it makes me feel sick. And I didn't know if you guys would have been okay with me telling him right away. But I will. I promise. No more keeping secrets."

Aubrey's reaction was not at all what he had expected. "Huh. Interesting. I believe you." Then she spun on her heel and walked back over to the others, linking an arm with Kel. Hero smiled at the sight. Maybe Mari had been right after all: the pair seemed so natural in person. He hadn't seen them bicker once. He decided to just brush off her weird question and response – Aubrey could be opaque sometimes – and set off back home. A very large dinner needed cooking, after all.

***

Kel was actually talking again. Though she'd never admit it to anyone but him, Aubrey loved hearing him talk, rambling about whatever popped into his brain. Sometimes she felt like she could listen to him forever. It felt like basking in the sun – a constant stream of earnest and sincere warmth. You could always tell when Kel wasn't at 100%, not just because he wouldn't talk, but because that warmth that radiated off him would fade, like somebody turned the lights off. Hero always ended up doing that. It pissed her off.

Sometimes she felt like she was addicted to that light, that warmth. Which was weird given that she'd lived without it for so many years. Even so, she couldn't even begin to imagine going back to living without him, alternating her time between rotting in her bed in her broken home and doing random petty crimes around Faraway. It was kind of insane how long it had taken her to realize how she felt about him. That light was what she'd been searching for all this time.

But it didn't stop her from feeling sometimes like a little weed, stealing that light away for her own benefit.

She walked up to him, happily chattering away to Basil, and took his arm in hers. He jerked as he felt the contact and whipped around to her, blushing madly. Aubrey just grinned.

"Alright, kiddies," said Jamie, stretching his arms. "Let's get going. Anyone who actually knows where we're going, please feel free to direct me."

Aubrey scoffed. "Kiddies? You're literally the shortest one here."

Jamie wagged a finger at her. "Don't talk back to your elders! How disrespectful."

When she'd been told that Hero had found a new partner, Aubrey had immediately generated a picture in her head. That picture was pretty much just Mari. She absolutely did not expect the real Jamie, who seemed on the surface like somebody way too fun for someone like Hero. On the other hand, as someone who was always hyper-aware of when people were thinking things they weren't saying, or talking behind her back, she'd gotten pretty good at reading people. But she got very little from Jamie behind that deliberately charming smile. Maybe Hero was attracted to him because he was also really good at being Hero.

Or – a sneaking suspicion Aubrey was starting to have – not all was as it seemed with Jamie. But she'd have to talk about that with Basil later, once they were alone. Kel (bless his heart) would not have noticed this, especially since his thoughts always got a bit scrambled when his brother was around.

The four of them strolled into the plaza. Aubrey immediately spotted Mik– ugh, The Maverick – in his usual spot by the fountain, apparently having found more girls to pay to hang out with him. Sometimes she wondered why she kept him in the group.

Ah, shit. He had that obsession with Kel, didn't he? And he got weirdly protective of Aubrey sometimes. Would he start a fight again?

Apparently not. The Maverick's face lit up with righteous indignation when he spotted Kel, as expected, but cooled right back down again when he noticed Jamie, who winked at him. "Bobo says thank you!" he called cheerily to The Maverick as they passed. The Maverick responded by going red and starting to splutter, while the girls he was with stared at him with barely concealed disgust.

Aubrey frowned slightly. What was that about?

"Aubreyyy," Kel sang as they walked into the Othermart, "when are we gonna get to play baseball? We gotta use your new stuff!"

A blush came over her, and this time she made no effort to hide it. When she'd woken up on Christmas morning to find Kel drooling in his sleep next to her and a brand new set of baseball gear next to Basil's bed, she'd started bawling her eyes out. Someone doing all that for her was just… unbelievable. She loved him. She really, really did.

"Soon," she told him. "We should get the gang together for a game. That'd be good."

Kel pouted. "But I was thinking it could just be us…"

Aubrey snickered. "Aw. Cute. But if it's just gonna be us two, I don't wanna waste time playing baseball. Yknow what I mean?"

That made him go bright red. She wasn't joking, though. The realization that her boyfriend was not just sweet but incredibly hot was one that had taken her a while to accept – looking at him always brought back memories of the little noodle-armed psycho with really big teeth that he'd been at twelve. But she was comfortable by now with that knowledge. She had a six foot whatever basketball player who would let her trace every muscle on his chest, which was amazing, even though she kinda wished she could have that kind of physique herself.

More luck than you deserve.

She snapped out of her head as soon as she realized that Jamie, walking behind them, was laughing. "Smooth," he said to her.

"Oh, yeah?" she replied with a raised eyebrow. "What, do you quote poetry at Hero instead?"

"Nah. Pretty much the same thing as you, actually. If you remind Hero in public that physical intimacy exists, he acts like a grandma in church. It looks like that runs in the family." Indeed, Kel was looking very embarrassed that they'd been overheard.

"And in private?" Aubrey asked.

Jamie gave her a playful grin. "We're in polite company. Some of us would really rather not know the details." He gestured towards Kel, who had clamped his hands over his ears. Speaking of grandmas in church, Basil was listening quietly, looking like a kid who'd just stumbled across a bunch of naughty magazines in his parents' attic. To be honest, the concept of Basil having sexual thoughts was hilarious to Aubrey. In all the many conversations they'd had together since Aubrey had started staying at Basil's place more, they'd never strayed into that region – although there was something Kel had told her once that gave her a suspicion that there was a specific reason for that.

"Here's the store," she announced as the eye-wateringly pink wallpaper came into view. "I'm actually banned from ever setting foot in here again, so… uh, yeah. If someone could get me some gummy worms or something, that'd be great."

Jamie tutted. "This is why you don't shoplift from stores that are close to you, or you end up having this problem." Before Aubrey had the chance to process the implications of that, he turned to Kel. "I'll leave you to make the selection for her, then."

"How much can we spend?" Kel asked.

"Budget is unlimited."

Oh, this guy was too good. Kel looked like a puppy who'd just been handed a nice juicy rump steak. "Heck… uh, I mean, cool. Let's go!"

"I'll stay here with Aubrey," Basil volunteered, smiling nervously. "Ah… I don't really have any preferences for candy. You don't have to get me anything."

Kel looked offended. "No way, dude! We're not just gonna leave you out. We'll pick out some stuff for you." With that, he bounded into the store, leaving Jamie to hurry after him. That left her with just Basil, which was actually perfect. No better time to broach her absolutely insane idea.

"So…" she began, turning to him.

Basil's eyes darted around a little before meeting hers. Aubrey tried not to think too hard about the implication. "Y-yes?"

She figured she should approach this carefully. "Jamie. What do you think of him?"

"O-oh. Ah… he's… he's good. I'm happy for Hero. It looks like they're happy with each other."

"Mhm. You think he likes us?"

"W-well… yes. I think he likes you and Kel, anyway. I don't know. He just isn't really talking to me very much."

Okay, so Basil had noticed. Expected, but good. Basil always noticed when people treated him weirdly, but he was underplaying it. Aubrey hadn't seen Jamie so much as make eye contact with Basil the entire time.

"Why wouldn't he be talking to you?" she prompted him.

Basil looked at her like she'd lost her mind. "I… I thought it would be pretty obvious…"

"But I asked Hero, and he hasn't told Jamie anything about what really happened," she said. "Not about Mari, not about the hospital. Nothing. So what reason would he have to act weirdly towards you?"

"He can tell." Basil said that with total confidence, which made Aubrey facepalm. Basil could be very sensitive and empathetic, but was resolutely blinkered when it came to himself. He was totally convinced that he was evil and that everyone else could intuitively tell that he was evil. Any evidence to the contrary was rejected. This wasn't the first time the two of them had butted heads over this, so Aubrey knew that any further argument was pointless. That mental roadblock wouldn't allow him to consider any other reason why Jamie was acting weirdly. She had expected that, but… well, maybe she was just searching for some unlikely validation for her insane idea.

"Whatever. Doesn't matter." It was unlikely to the point of impossibility anyway. What were the chances?

Although… that did remind her of something Basil had said earlier. "That question about knowing people who draw? Real subtle, Basil."

Deer in headlights. "A-ah… I…" He slumped in defeat. "Okay, yes. I… I was just wondering. I know it wasn't very likely, but…"

"Do you want to see him again?"

"Is that a bad thing?" If that question had come from anyone else, Aubrey would have assumed they were being sarcastic. But Basil was being deadly serious. And why wouldn't he be? It was a legitimate question.

She sighed. "No. I do too. I might beat him up a bit for what he did to Mari, but I do want to see him again. The way he just vanished after the hospital… it was just… it was an accident, yknow? Stupidest, most avoidable accident in the world, but it was an accident. And he looked like he'd punished himself more than enough for it. I hope he's been going outside more."

"Yeah," said Basil, gazing wistfully into the distance. "I hope that he's been making lots of friends. I hope his life is going okay. He deserves it. Maybe… do you think that me seeing him again would just make things worse for him?"

"I think you've changed," said Aubrey. "For a start, you're taller than me now. Asshole. But you're also… I don't really know how to say it. I believe you when you say you understand that what you did was wrong. I believe that you won't let yourself get into a position like that again. As long as you make sure you're not dependent on Sunny like you used to be, I don't see any reason you guys couldn't be friends again."

As expected, Basil looked doubtful. Aubrey sighed. "Okay, think about it this way. Am I the sort of person who would lie to you to make you feel better?"

That got a little giggle out of him. "Probably not."

"So there you have it. I'm telling you the truth as I see it."

Basil was about to reply but stopped when he spotted Kel and Jamie approaching, each dual-wielding large bags of candy. Kel trotted up to Aubrey. "Gummy worms coming up!" he announced proudly, dumping a bag into her hands. Peering inside, Aubrey could confirm that it was entirely gummy worms. Dozens upon dozens of them.

"Got a bit of a mixed selection for you," Jamie said to Basil, dropping the bag into his outstretched hand. "I considered giving you a billion licorice bullets, but I felt like that would be too mean." Aubrey watched him closely – once again, no eye contact. Jamie was looking at the bag while talking to Basil. And not giving him the bag directly. Was she overanalyzing this?

"How much did this cost?" Aubrey asked, sifting through her worm mountain.

"Way less than I thought it was gonna cost," Jamie replied, popping a gumball into his mouth. "Dude, it's so much cheaper here than in Nearby City. Maybe I should move here. Do you have any chemical plants nearby?"

"Uh… I don't think so?" said Aubrey.

"Shame."

The four of them set off back towards the park, munching on their haul. Kel busied himself educating Basil about the different types of candy he had in his bag while Aubrey took the moment to just enjoy the day. It was a shame that Kim wasn't here, though. She'd be so jealous seeing this.

Thinking about Kim made her a little sad. They hadn't been hanging out as much since Aubrey had mended fences with Kel and Basil, and she could tell that Kim wasn't happy about it. Of course she had no intention of abandoning her best friend who had helped her through the worst years of her life, but…

Using her and tossing her aside once you don't need her anymore. What a great friend you are.

Aubrey grimaced and tried to focus on happy thoughts.

"Well, it's been fun," Jamie said once they'd reached the park. "I know Hero asked me to look after all of you, but since you're obviously capable of doing that yourselves I think I should probably head back and make sure he's not working himself to the bone. Lovely to meet all of you. I'll be heading home tomorrow afternoon, so this will probably be the last time we see each other for a while. Except for you, Kel. I imagine we're gonna have a pretty big dinner tonight. But yeah. Hopefully I will see you all again at some point. And, uh… cut Hero a little slack, if you could. He means well. He just gets very stuck in his ways sometimes."

Jamie turned and began to walk away. Suddenly Aubrey was confronted with a choice: air her insane idea now, or forever hold her peace?

Ah, fuck it. What was the worst that could happen?

"Wait!" she called, drawing curious glances from Basil and Kel.

Jamie turned. "Yep?"

"Have you been talking to Sunny?" she asked.

The poker face was almost perfect. Almost. But right before the practised facade of confusion settled over Jamie's face, there was a split second of shock. He'd been caught off balance.

Gotcha.

"Who?" he asked.

"Nice try," Aubrey replied. "You've been weird around Basil all day. Hero didn't tell you anything. So there's only one person who could have."

Jamie glanced behind him, as if to check that nobody was watching, before turning back to them. "You can't tell Hero about this, okay?"

"Wait, you met Sunny?!" Kel exclaimed.

"Yeah. We drove out to Center to go to the new arcade complex thing there, and he was working the register at the supermarket. Hero wasn't happy about it. He didn't tell me who Sunny was. I had to find out through other means. He would… uh, he would not be happy that I've been back to talk to him afterwards."

"Wait, Hero met him too?" said Aubrey. "And he didn't say anything? Motherfucker! Who does he think he is?"

Jamie looked pained. "I'm sure he had his reasons."

"Is Sunny doing okay?" Basil piped up, eyes big as saucers. "Is he… is he making friends? Is he eating more? Is he going outside…"

The questions crumbled away under Jamie's gaze. Basil shrank in on himself.

"Sunny told you everything," said Aubrey. It wasn't a question.

"Yes. He did."

Basil let out a little whimper and stepped backwards upon hearing that.

"Where is he?" Kel asked, folding his arms. "We need to see him. He's our friend. I don't… I don't care what Hero thinks. I want to see him."

Jamie's mouth set in a firm line. "I don't have any problem with you or Aubrey seeing him. I think it would be good for him. But I can't in good conscience say the same for Basil."

Basil wilted, and Aubrey stepped forward, teeth bared. "You do not get to say things like that. You don't understand anything. You weren't there."

Steel met with steel. "He stabbed Sunny, Aubrey. That's not really a 'you had to be there' thing. And it's been only… what, half a year since then? If it was… if it was just the thing with Mari, then maybe. But clearly that wasn't the end of the story. Sunny has to wear a prosthetic eye now. It's not safe."

Basil looked like he was about to cry. Every atom in Aubrey's body was pushing her to start screaming. It took all her willpower to force that instinct down. She would not let that part of her take over. Not again. Not since it nearly ended up with Basil drowning in the lake.

"And what does Sunny have to say about it?" she asked instead. Jamie remained silent, which told her that she'd struck gold.

"Basil is Sunny's friend too," Kel said. "You can't leave him out. He's changed so much since then. Ask anyone in town and they'll tell you. I used to think the same thing. I get it. But he's different now. He's become a better person. I trust that he won't do anything bad to Sunny."

Kel's random bursts of maturity really astonished Aubrey sometimes. Even she sometimes got stuck in the image of Kel as a blundering idiot, even though she knew how much those assumptions hurt him. Because he wasn't a blundering idiot. He'd just been treated like one for so long he started believing it.

Jamie's resolve seemed to weaken. He put his hands in his pockets. "Look… even if I wanted to, this is not the kind of call I can make on my own. Do you guys know Bowen and Daphne Parisi?"

Aubrey frowned. "The bread twins?"

"The wha– oh, right, of course. Yeah, that's them. Their shifts at the bakery tomorrow end in the afternoon a few hours before I leave. Head over to their place and we can talk about it there."

Jamie turned and walked away. Aubrey stood dumbfounded for a few moments before a slight sniffle from behind her brought her back to her senses. She whipped around and hugged Basil, who could no longer keep the tears at bay.

"H-he's right," Basil wept. "I… I'm dangerous to S-Sunny. I might h-hurt him again. I can't… I can't s-see him. Oh, Sunny…"

"No," Aubrey snarled. "He's wrong. You're different now. You're not going to hurt anyone. And Sunny definitely wants to see you too. You're not a monster, Basil. Don't let people convince you that you are."

Basil tried to say something else that was lost somewhere in his stutter. Two big arms wrapped around both of them. "You'll show them, Basil," Kel said, the confidence in his voice unshakable. "Just imagine how nice it'll be to see Sunny again. I bet he's gotten really tall now, just like you."

Basil clung to both of them like a drowning man, trying to steady himself. Aubrey patted his mat of fluffy blonde hair and imagined the meeting for herself.

Sunny…

Notes:

I don't have anything witty to put here this time, so I'll just say thank you to everyone reading this. I've had a lot of fun writing this so far, but I wouldn't have been able to get so far through a big project like this without the encouragement of people here, so thank you! I hope you're all still enjoying this fic as much as when you first found it ;)

New chapter in one week!