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“I love you.”
Sound repeated these words to his reflection in the mirror for the hundredth time, and he still cringed at the sound of them, eyebrows pinching together.
He'd been dating Win for over a year now, and they still hadn't touched the sacred L word with a ten-foot pole. Sound was getting a bit restless about it, because he felt like they should've taken that step ages ago, in line with the natural progression of relationships.
It was just three little words, and yet, the mighty Sound Saran was made helpless in the face of them. He may as well be on his knees, bowing to those words, acknowledging himself as a lesser being who couldn't express himself properly.
He knew without a doubt that he loved Win. And he knew Win loved him too, as much as that little voice in his head sometimes tried to convince him otherwise. Why, then, was stating it out loud proving to be the most difficult thing he'd ever attempted to do?
It was harder than learning how to play the guitar, singing, maintaining a YouTube channel, attending his university classes. He'd swiftly taken on every challenge that he was faced with, seldom making mistakes after he got the hang of things.
The one exception to this golden boy rule was, of course, badminton. He was lousy at first, missing the birdie at every given opportunity. But Win had coached him well, his skills were now decent enough to consider it conquered.
But this was vastly different. Loving Win wasn't some task that he could master after one class, some hurdle he could jump over before moving onto the next obstacle.
Win was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. As such, he wanted to make sure his feelings were made abundantly clear.
When he first met Win, he never would've expected they'd end up together. Win was hot-headed and quick to threats of violence, just the kind of overcompensating idiot that Sound steered clear from. Toxic masculinity and anger issues had no place in his busy life.
Except, Win was so much more than that. He cared deeply about his friends, he worried about disappointing his parents, he put a lot of pressure on himself to be the best person he could be. So much pressure that he nearly caved in from the force of it.
He held so many feelings inside that he didn't know what to do with them, resulting in sudden outbursts to expel his negative energy.
The very same Win who resulted to explosive yelling matches in times of stress had carefully taken care of Sound when his wrist was injured. He'd carried Sound's bag around for him, opened doors for him, even held his water bottle as he drank from it.
He'd actually smiled at Sound when he caught him walking out of the physical therapy office, and Sound had never been the same since. His mind struggled to overlay the soft-speaking, gentle version of Win with the volatile, irate version of him.
As he got closer to Win, slowly unwrapping the complex layers of his psyche, he learned what was hiding below all that surface-level rage.
Underneath the chipped paint of a hastily thrown-together mask, Win was riddled with insecurities, and anger was the only way he knew how to deal with them. The only way he could go through his days without his fears of inadequacy suffocating him.
Because it was easier to pretend he was an angry firecracker than a sensitive soul, soft and delicate on the inside.
Win had mellowed out a great deal since graduating from high school. Sound liked to think his constant presence in Win’s life helped, the silent assurance that Sound wouldn't be leaving him for some imaginary “better” partner.
Win used to worry about that a lot, in the first few months of their relationship. Thankfully, he seemed more confident in their unbreakable bond now.
Don't get him wrong, Win was still a foul-mouthed idiot. But somewhere along the line, Sound had switched from wanting to shut him up with a punch to wanting to shut him up with a kiss.
And Win had shifted from pushing him away in times of crisis to pulling him closer, allowing himself to depend on Sound, seeking him out for comfort.
So yeah, they were pretty much made for each other. Sound couldn't imagine himself with anyone else. He didn't want some sickly-sweet puppy love, the idea alone was enough to give him the shudders. But still, he wanted Win to know how much he meant to him.
He was determined to speak his truth, sooner rather than later. He couldn't allow another year to pass by without making his feelings clear. He didn't want to be old and grey and still struggling to say a few simple words that crossed his mind all the time. Because he knew that, at his old age, he'd still be with Win. If Win would have him.
Win was it for him.
He wanted to say those three words when Win’s face was the first thing he saw in the morning. When Win made it a point to pick him up from class on his stupid motorbike. When Win fed the stray cats in their neighborhood and gave them all names.
Countless times, the words had built up in his throat, only to get stuck there. He just couldn't get his mouth to move, and no amount of clearing his throat would knock the words free.
Maybe some part of him was worried things would somehow change once he said them. That Win may get freaked out and run off, never to be seen again. The anxiety would claw at his stomach, trapping the phrase firmly in his throat, forcing him to swallow it back down like it was never there in the first place.
He felt like the biggest coward in the world.
He had to get over his fear, for Win's sake. He deserved to understand the depth of Sound's feelings, to never again have any unfounded worries that Sound may leave him.
Because Sound Saran was madly in love with Win.
He just has to find the right time to tell him that.
But was there such a thing as the right time? Such a moment seemed elusive to him.
Every time he allowed his feelings for Win to wash over him, tearing down all of his defenses and leaving him mushy and lovestruck enough to make his confession, he got tongue-tied. The phrase just wouldn't escape the cage of his throat, leaving him choking and swallowing around nothing.
But he needed to quickly find that perfect moment, because he'd already almost slipped up and ran his mouth at an inopportune time.
They were at a flower shop, a place Sound never imagined himself to be. But Win had been nagging him about how lifeless his apartment felt, ever since he moved in a few months ago.
Sound was frankly tired of telling him to shut up and deal with it or move back out, which always ended in Win insisting that Sound would be so lonely and sad if he left.
Sound denied it every time, but they both knew Win was right. So here they were, looking for something to spruce up the place at Win’s behest.
“You want to come home with me, little guy?”
He turned to Win, ready to be offended at the term. Since when was he a little guy? He was basically the same height as Win, maybe even taller!
Only, Win wasn't talking to him. He had turned away from Sound and was conversing with a plant that sat on a shelf. He was so ridiculous, speaking to a houseplant in the same subdued tone he used to soothe stray cats. He looked crazy.
“I'll name you Q, and you'll grow big and strong in my home.”
How lazy, to name something with one singular letter. But it was so undeniably Win of him, to cut corners when it came to naming, while at the same time going the extra mile to take care of that very thing he named so lackadaisically.
As annoying as Win was, he could be annoyingly… cute, sometimes. Sound couldn't fight his smile.
“I love…” Sound caught himself slipping before it was too late, wiping the dumb smile off his face. He'd never gotten that far along before. And already, the words were retreating, slicing his throat like knives on their way back down.
But Win was looking at him with a raised eyebrow, silently questioning his odd behavior. So he had to improvise, grabbing a plant from a nearby shelf. “I love this plant!”
“Sound, that's a cactus.”
He looked down and, sure enough, he was holding a thorny cactus. It wouldn't usually be his first choice, because all he could picture upon first glance was a scenario in which he stumbled and ended up with a thorn in his eyeball. But he'd made his bed, so he had to lie in it.
“I know that! Cacti are easy to take care of, so it's a good choice.”
Win shook his head, shifting his focus to the plant he'd already seemingly bonded with, if that was even possible. “You're just lazy.”
Sound placed the cactus back with a huff. He'd almost let his grand confession slip out, and what he got in return was an insult.
“Fuck off. Clearly, you don't want my help choosing, so just pick one already.”
That captured Win's attention, and he came over to Sound with a sneaky smile. “Awww Sound, do you want a cactus?”
Sound cringed at the exaggerated sympathy in Win’s voice, speaking to him like he was one of his dear stray cats, or perhaps now a houseplant. “Ew, knock it off.”
“We can get a cactus for you, Sound. Aww, don't be sad, poor Sound.” Win was pinching both of his cheeks, and Sound had to smack his hands away, stubbornly ignoring the rednese tinting his ears.
“I hate you.”
Not exactly the three-word phrase he'd been dying to let out, but it worked for now. He dramatically turned to leave, stomping off with the sound of Win's laugh echoing after him.
Win could pick whatever plant he wanted, Sound didn't care. He just wanted to get home and nurse his mental wounds from his near screw-up.
The next time Sound almost said those magical words, it was intentional.
Gun had dragged them to the bowling alley, forcing a double date upon them. Win was whining, because he was in last place and he had yet to score any strikes. Meanwhile, Sound was coming in first. He was simply too good at games, a fact he wasn't shy to brag about whenever the opportunity presented itself.
When he scored his tenth strike of the night, he was met with a resounding chorus of “Boo”s from the other three attendees.
“You're cheating!,” Win accused, jumping up from his seat, all fired up for some reason.
“How could I cheat? I'm just naturally good at this.”
“Okay, then show me.”
Win picked up a bowling ball, placing himself in the center of the lane. Sound just stared at him blankly, unsure if he should humor him or not.
“Well? Come on, hotshot. Guide me, prove that you're so good.”
Sound shook his head, but obeyed, if only to shut him up. He came up behind Win, sliding his hands down Win’s arms until they came to rest at his wrists. He hooked his leg around Win's, guiding it to a more suitable position.
He swore he could feel electricity thrumming under his skin where they touched, his hands holding firmly onto Win's wrists. “You have to relax, you're too tense.” He spoke softly, right next to Win's ear, and watched in amusement as that very ear started turning red.
Win listened to him, relaxing every muscle and allowing Sound to guide him into the perfect throw. Of course, the ball hurtled down the very center of the lane, knocking down all the pins.
“I did it!” Win turned, wrapping his arms around Sound and jumping in place from excitement. Sound melted into his arms, against his better wishes. His body always seemed to let go of any tension when Win was embracing him, as if it knew he was in the safest possible place.
He didn't have the heart to point out that it was technically him who scored those points, not Win. He'd let him have this silly little victory, only so he wouldn't lose that elated smile.
Win stopped jumping, so now they were just standing there, with Sound holding him around the waist. Win's waist was easily his favorite thing to grab. It was so easy to wind an arm around it, to trace his hand along the area and watch as Win attempted to fight his shyness.
Win’s smile was so pretty, his eyes were shining under the lights of the bowling alley, and his soft lips were calling to Sound. He may have gone a little crazy, because all he wanted to do at that moment was confess his love and kiss Win until he was breathless, innocent bystanders be damned.
“I…,” he started, but his throat closed up on him, threatening to suffocate him if he continued. He had to pause, breathing deeply and gazing into those captivating eyes that held so many complex emotions.
He remembered when they didn't know each other well yet. Win was always yelling at him, quick to start a fight. But his eyes were lonely, melancholic, a stark juxtaposition to his irate actions. That was Sound’s first hint that Win was something much more than an anger-riddled teenager who couldn't control his mouth.
After that surprising discovery, Sound had taken the time to pick apart each and every feeling he saw reflected in Win's twinkling irises. The depths of emotion he hid behind anger, thinking nobody would take the time to peek behind the curtain.
But Sound had. He'd taken the risky plunge, dove into the deep end without a life jacket, all in hopes that Win would jump in after him, not allowing him to face the chaotic waves of falling in love alone.
Against all odds, Win rose to the occasion, holding his hand so they could brave the storm together.
Sound loved him so much. He only had to use his words to match that sentiment.
But what came out of his mouth instead was: “I… think you’re annoying.”
He thought Win might lose his smile, shove him away and call him a buzzkill. Instead, his smile only widened, like that was what he expected Sound to say, and his hands came up to rest on Sound's shoulders.
“Right back at you.”
Before he knew it, Win's lips were pressed against his. Right there, in front of the entire occupancy of the bowling alley, Win had the courage to do what Sound couldn't.
His grip around Win's waist tightened, and he fell into the kiss, as he always did. His mouth moved languidly against Win's, gentle and unhurried. Win’s soft, pillowy lips were his biggest weakness.
Win liked to use it against him at certain times, such as when he was complaining that Win hadn't washed the dishes like he asked, or didn't vacuum his crumbs off the floor. He'd grab Sound by the shoulders and swiftly kiss him to shut up his complaints.
Sound only allowed it because Win always followed it up by rectifying his mistake. Besides, he felt an undeniable calmness spreading through his body whenever they were connected by the lips. It made it impossible for him to stay annoyed for long.
“Hey, get a room!”
Gun's shout caused them to part prematurely, and Sound mentally cursed him. That lip-locking was the most fun he’d had all day, and now he had to go back to throwing a stupid ball down a stupid lane when he could be kissing his stupid boyfriend instead.
He cleared his throat, glancing down to hide his flush. “You're still in last place, dumbass.”
“Thanks for the reminder.” Win snorted, brushing past him without a care in the world. “If you're shy, just say that.”
He sputtered, not sounding convincing in the slightest. “I'm not!”
Win offered one last disbelieving glance before joining Gun at the ball return.
He was so annoying.
Sound loved him so much.
Screw finding the right time.
There was no such thing as a perfect moment to bare his heart on his sleeve, he just had to come out with it before he exploded. He'd fumbled so many times, getting the first syllables out before choking them back down and spitting out some nonsensical phrase in its place. It was a wonder how Win didn't think something was wrong with him, with the way he kept redirecting his words lately.
At this point, he'd take any chance he could get to lift this heavy weight off his chest, to quiet the nagging voice in his head calling him a coward for being afraid of three little words.
But they weren't just any three words. Speaking them aloud was the highest act of vulnerability, the ultimate surrender of his heart and soul to the one person he trusted them with. If he admitted the depth of his feelings, Win would know just how mushy and gross Sound’s insides were. He'd be offering his bleeding heart on a silver platter, complete with a side of his deepest desires and wildest dreams.
He could only hope Win wouldn't be turned off by it.
He was so tired of his constant failures that he now believed any moment would suffice as grounds for his confession, even when they were laying in bed or when Sound was riding on the back of his bike. As long as they were together, that was all that mattered.
Win was lazy, he never wanted to get out of bed in the mornings, so Sound had started the habit of putting toothpaste on Win's toothbrush for him. Win would saunter into the bathroom moments later and join him at the sink, brushing his teeth with his eyes still closed.
Win always looked the cutest when he was fast asleep, one of his cheeks squished against his pillow. Since Sound woke up first, he indulged himself every morning with a few quiet minutes of roaming his gaze over Win's sleeping face. With every feature soft and relaxed, he looked so at peace.
Sometimes, Win's face would twitch briefly, like the weight of Sound’s gaze was disturbing him. Sound would raise a careful hand, gently stroking Win's hair, and that was all it took for him to still, features evening out once again.
Win appeared so small and delicate when he was sleeping, like Sound could lift him with no problem and carry him out of the room. When Win drooled into the pillow, Sound should've found it gross, but it just made him smile. Because Win wouldn't let just anyone see him like this. Sound was special to him, someone he could trust to show even the most vulnerable parts of himself.
Win’s second-cutest moments were when he was still half-asleep, eyes struggling to stay open as he mindlessly brushed his teeth. Like a child, he'd get toothpaste all over his mouth, because he couldn't see what he was doing.
They weren't the most traditional couple. As such, perhaps the ever-evasive perfect moment for them was something like this, brushing their teeth with all the domesticity of an old married couple.
Sound finished, rinsing his mouth out with water. Win was still brushing his teeth, clearly fighting off a yawn with his eyes firmly closed.
Sound was staring at Win’s drowsy face in the mirror when he spoke. “I lo…,” he trailed off, because Win’s eyes had suddenly opened, locking with Sound’s in the mirror. Just like that, all the courage drained out of him.
Win's sharp eyes stole his breath away, and they may as well have stolen his voice box too, because now he was stuttering as he searched for a suitable replacement for the words he just couldn't get himself to say.
He turned his gaze to his own reflection. “I look so good right now, can you believe I woke up like this?”
Win scoffed, spitting his toothpaste out and rinsing Sound's faux bravery down the sink with it. “You're so weird.”
“You're just mad that I'm hotter than you and you look like a troll.”
“Not true.”
Win left before he could reply. Which was just as well, because he was fresh out of snarky responses and he needed a minute alone to stare at himself in the mirror, wondering if he would ever overcome his stupid fear.
Sound had been hyping himself up all day, because he planned a special dinner for tonight. He'd made Win's favorite foods, laying them out artfully across the dining table. He'd purchased some roses on his way home, and they now sat in the center of the table, in a pretty purple vase he picked out.
It may have been overboard, or even cliché. But he was trying his best to foster a romantic atmosphere, one that he would feel comfortable enough to spill his guts in. He hoped Win didn't make fun of his little setup, there was no way he'd be able to maintain his confidence if that happened.
“I'm home,” Win called from the living room, and Sound could hear the jingle of his keys being hung on the designated key-holder.
“I'm in the kitchen!,” Sound responded, restlessly shifting his weight from foot to foot as he waited for Win to pop his head around the corner, nervous of his reaction.
Once Win found him, his attention was immediately drawn to the dining table. “What's all this?”
His palms were sweating and his heart was beating so fast, until he was sure it would jump up into his throat and leave no space for the words to come out. He cleared his throat, willing his heart to slow down, and forced himself to speak. "I made your favorites for dinner.”
Win glanced from the table to Sound, then back to the table. His eyes narrowed, understandably suspicious. “What's the occasion? Don't tell me I forgot something important.”
“No, dumbass. Just stop talking for a second.” Sound leaned over, grabbing onto the back of his chair to hold himself up. He suddenly felt too weak to handle his own weight, one second away from toppling over due to his knees giving out on him.
Win dropped his wary expression in favor of concern, stepping towards Sound with outstretched arms. “Are you okay?”
Anxiety was already sneaking up on him, threatening to turn into a ferocious beast inside his stomach, tearing him open from the inside out.
“I'm fine, I must be tired from cooking all this.” That was a reasonable excuse, possibly, he wasn't sure. It was hard to think when his brain was pounding out of his skull.
Tentatively, Win grabbed onto his shoulders, easing him into his seat. “You already worked hard all day, you didn't have to do this. If you collapse on me, I'll be pissed.”
Sound threw him a half-hearted glare, and he'd never admit it, but Win's touch was already enough to calm him down considerably. He could think clearly now, his head was free from the cottony clouds that had obscured his thoughts.
“I think you meant to say thank you.”
Win offered a smile as he took his seat across from Sound. “There’s my Sound Saran.”
Sound would be lying if he said that tiny possessive phrase didn't have his heart doing flips in his chest, possessing him into continuing his agenda when he'd just given up hope.
“Win, I did this because I love…”
This was it, the closest he'd ever gotten to spelling out his true feelings, once and for all. He just had to say one more word, three letters serving as the thin line between the sweet release of the truth and the stubborn clutches of cowardice.
But Win was looking directly at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence. It was daunting, having his full attention like that. It had Sound shivering in his seat, and the words were transformed into a million razors, cutting into his vocal cords until he had no choice but to abandon them.
“I love when you do the dishes. So they'd better be spotless after this.”
Win tilted his head in confusion. “You’re bargaining with me? But you always complain that I get water all over the place when I wash the dishes.”
Sound took an angry bite of his food, taking his frustration out on the dinner he so lovingly prepared.
“Because you do! Who taught you how to clean, a dog?”
“Geeze, at least I clean up the water after!”
“Shut up and eat, Win.”
His plan had been foiled, yet again. But he couldn't be too mad about it, when Win was so happy to dig into his dinner, and Sound even caught him secretly admiring the roses once or twice.
Oh well, there was always tomorrow.
It was their designated movie night of the week. This was something they'd started months ago, when both of them were so busy that it was hard to catch time to unwind alone. Luckily, their schedules had calmed down since then, and they saw each other so much now that if it was possible for them to get sick of each other, they would.
But they'd kept up this little tradition, because it was fun. They were watching some silly apocalyptic movie complete with aliens and zombies. That's right, the film had both of those supernatural beings. The plot didn't make much sense, but such was the case with brainless media that was only good for hate-watching, something both of them were very proficient at.
It was around the time the aliens and zombies had started to fight each other that Sound shifted his focus from the screen to Win. Sometime during the film, they started holding hands. Sound hadn't even noticed. His body must've moved on its own, seeking the warm comfort of his lover’s palm against his.
The colorful lights from the screen played over Win's face, illuminating his every feature. Those thick eyebrows, wide nose, plush lips. Sound could admire him for a thousand years straight and he'd still never tire of the sight.
Even when Win thought of him as nothing more than a slightly infuriating friend, Sound had always been at his mercy, tiny needles plunging into his heart every time he raked his gaze over Win's face.
When Sound leaned closer on pure impulse, he could see the movie reflected in Win's eyes, tiny versions of the characters running for their lives in his pupils.
Win turned to look at him, and the world fell away around them. Sound was pretty sure the Earth stopped spinning, the wind quit blowing, the moon stalled in the sky. All that mattered was him and Win, frozen in this tender moment.
He was no longer a secret admirer, stealing forbidden glances at Win from a distance. Now, Win met his gaze head-on, and his eyes softened around the corners when he caught Sound staring. Such a minute change, nobody else would notice, but Sound did. He always would, for he'd studied all of Win's expressions and kept a catalogue of them in his brain.
“What are you looking at?”
Win's words may have been aggressive on paper, but the tone they were uttered with was colored with layers of fondness and amusement. Not to mention, his lips had curled up around the edges, completing the image of adoration.
This was the moment. Their eyes were locked, their fingers interlaced, and Win was so beautiful. Sound was enamored, overtaken by his overwhelming feelings for the man beside him, the man who'd stuck by him through thick and thin.
“I lo…” He was so sure that he could do it this time. He was so close that he could almost taste the words in his mouth, his teeth digging into his bottom lip to form the v next.
But like clockwork, the words transformed into thorns, jabbing his sensitive throat. It was like he'd forgotten how to breathe, and it took black spots creeping into the edges of his vision for him to take a deep breath, letting it out with a loud exhale.
It was no use, he still couldn't do it. After all this time, he was stuck in the same place, unable to convey his feelings in words.
“I lost the remote, get off your ass and help me find it.”
Win rolled his eyes, breaking the spell that had glued their gazes together. “It's in your other hand, dumbass.”
Sound looked down and, sure enough, his other hand was clenching around the remote with a death grip.
“Oh.”
Win snorted, turning back to the television, and the moment really had passed. The Earth resumed its rotation, the breeze continued to blow through the trees, the moon slowly ascended.
Sound blew it. Again.
“Yeah, now shut up and watch the movie.”
He didn't grace Win with a response. He was too busy sulking, throwing himself an internal pity party and wishing he was just a little bit braver.
They were lounging on the couch, a lazy day consisting of nothing but staring at screens and snacking sessions.
He'd all but given up on his confession plan. All of his attempts had gone awry, like there was some higher being at work, determined to sabotage him at every given opportunity. He was convinced he'd never be able to say those three little words, and he'd just have to deal with it.
Clearly, the absence of the phrase in their relationship wasn't bothering Win in the slightest. Sound should wisely take a page out of his book and forget those three words even existed. They showed their love for each other in other ways: acts of service, quality time together, physical affection. They didn't have to outright state it for it to be true.
It was silly that Sound had gotten so caught up on this. They knew in their heart of hearts that they loved each other, that was all that mattered.
“I have to go, I promised Gun I’d give him a ride to Tinn’s place.”
Sound offered a distracted nod, only paying half-attention. He was working on getting a high score on a mobile game he'd recently downloaded. He was always playing some new game, only to beat it in a few days and move onto the next. He, Sound Saran, was simply too good at everything he tried to do.
Everything except confessing to his boyfriend of one year, that is.
Win pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “I'll be back in thirty minutes. Love you.”
Sound nodded again, more from habit than anything else. Win was already at the door when Sound finally registered his words.
His eyes widened, his heart picking up speed as his grip on his phone loosened, causing it to clatter to the ground. “Wait!”
Win turned back to him, giving him an odd look. “What, you want to come? I mean… three people can't fit on my bike.”
Sound scrambled from his seat, darting over to where Win had just been about to leave. “No, dumbass. What did you just say?!”
“I said I'm giving Gun a ride.”
“Not that, the other thing.”
“That three people can't fit on my bike?”
“No!” Sound groaned, rubbing at his temples. He felt a headache coming on. “Think hard about what else you said.”
Win tilted his head, looking like a confused puppy. “What?”
In a fit of desperation, Sound grabbed onto Win’s shoulders, shaking him. “You said you love me, you idiot! How can you just say it so casually?!”
Win blinked stupidly, mouth dropping open in shock. “Oh, it just slipped out. But isn't it obvious? We've been dating for a year, Sound.”
The phrase Sound had been beating himself up over being unable to say had simply slipped out of Win’s mouth without him realizing. It came that naturally to him. Like it was an obvious fact of life, written in the stars and whispered by the mountains and scribbled over the surface of the sun, Win loves Sound.
That was enough to have Sound’s pulse going haywire, and he could feel his face heating up from the intense emotions he was experiencing.
“Well yeah, but you never said it before.”
Win shrugged, like he didn't really see the big deal. Like he wasn't breaking open Sound's chest and ripping his still-beating heart right out of his ribcage, holding it within his firm grasp. Claiming every facet of Sound, writing his name in dark ink over every iteration of him, even the ugly parts he wasn't proud of.
“I didn't think it needed to be said.”
“You're such an idiot, I can't believe I love you.” And just like that, the words slipped out of his mouth, too. He was cured of his baseless fear. All he needed was the gentle push of Win admitting it first to give him the courage to conquer his demons.
He used his grip on Win's shoulders to pull him into a searing kiss. Their lips slotted together, perfectly-fitting puzzle pieces, completing each other. Just as Win was his other half, filling all the cracks in his lining, making him whole.
“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he repeated in between kisses, speaking against Win’s mouth because he didn't dare pull away from him. He needed this, to remain connected to Win while pouring his long-restrained love into the kiss, making up for lost time. Easing the part of himself that was so scared to say this, which seemed beyond silly now.
It didn't change a thing. Not in a bad way, at least. Win wasn't running for the hills or keeping Sound at an arm's distance, as he might've foolishly thought. If anything, Sound was filled with so much relief that he felt closer to Win, their hearts uniting as one.
Win had said it as easily as he breathed, he hadn't even given it a second thought. Like it was something everyone intrinsically knew. The birds make nests in the trees, the fish swim in the ocean and Win loves Sound.
Meanwhile, Sound had been stressing this entire time. If you combined Sound’s overthinking with Win’s lack of brain cells, you just might get a normal person out of it.
Sound was holding onto the sides of Win's head, keeping him in place while kissing him within an inch of his life. He deepened the kiss, focusing his attention on Win's bottom lip, even briefly taking it between his teeth.
He wanted Win to feel as claimed as he did, wanted to sink his fingers into every part of Win he could possibly reach and never let him go. For Win was his everything; his sun and moon, his clouds and stars, his Earth and Mars. He needed Win like he needed air to breathe.
When he pulled away, it was only because his lungs were screaming for air. Win was just as breathless, with a delicate flush spreading across his cheeks, making his freckles stand out more. His lips were puffing up, reddened and irritated when Win ran his tongue over them, as was his flustered habit.
“What was that? Jesus, Sound. If I knew you wanted to hear it that bad, I would've said it sooner.”
Sound squeezed at his shoulder, a gesture of fondness as much as a gentle admonition. “You should've. I kept trying to say it, but I thought you might run away like a big baby.”
Win scoffed, looking at him like he'd just said something completely ridiculous. “As if. You're stuck with me, Sound Saran.”
That only made Sound want to kiss him again.
Win wouldn't leave him, come hell or high water, because they were in this together. Sound had already dedicated every part of his heart and soul to this man, there was no denying that he'd be crushed if Win disappeared from his side, slipping through his fingers like mist, an oasis that Sound had dreamed up in the middle of the desert.
He couldn't allow that to happen. He needed to make sure Win stayed right where Sound wanted him, safe and sound within the comforting confines of their home. He had to ensure Win knew he always had a place by Sound’s side, for he'd never give Win up for anything in this world.
He ran his fingers through Win's hair, playing with the dark strands. “Tell Gun to call a cab and stop using my boyfriend as a chauffeur service.”
“Why?” Sound forgave the short reply, only because Win was clearly still kiss-dazed, eyes swirling with haze, voice weak and shaky.
He leaned in again, this time kissing worshipful lines over Win's artful freckles, purposefully tempting him with soft presses of his lips.
“Because I want you to stay with me, and you love me.”
Win seemed to understand the weight behind his words, for he raised his hands, placing them upon Sound's cheeks. Win cradled him, like he was something precious to be admired, something to be handled with great care to avoid shattering his skin.
“I'll stay. I'll always stay.”
Sound's cheeks were dusted red, he could feel them burning hot against Win's palms. But he didn't care, it was worth it to see the reverent shine in Win's eyes, proving that he really did love Sound more than anything else in this universe.
“I love you.” He said it again, just because he could. Because the words had been sitting heavily in his chest for months, weighing down on his heart, piercing his throat every time he tried to get them out. But now, he could say it whenever he wanted to, without fear. There was no anxiety clawing at him, no sharp objects lodged in his throat.
“I love you, too.”
And it was Win who kissed him this time, launching a full-on attack against his mouth, probably as payback for Sound stealing his breath away. Sound didn't complain. In fact, he allowed Win to take the lead, melting into a mushy and docile being, in the way only Win could drag out of him.
Nothing else mattered in that moment. The world consisted of only them, two people who loved each other, wrapped up in each other's existence until the end of time.
Every second spent with Win was the perfect moment.