Chapter Text
Kageyama Tobio.
Yoyogi National Stadium, Tokyo, Japan.
June, 2016.
Kageyama really thought he already moved on from his stupid crush on his stupid senior, Oikawa Tooru.
Really, he was not the naïve Tobio-chan from junior high who watched Oikawa with eyes full of admiration even when Oikawa was unkind to him.
He was also not the same ‘Oikawa-san’s junior’ who would feel intimidated by Oikawa on and off the court because he thought highly of him more than anyone else, more than any other strong players he had played against.
And most importantly, he was not the same gullible kid who believed the kiss that he shared with Oikawa during the spring of his first year in high school was something special for both of them.
The first time Kageyama Tobio got his heartbroken because of love was on the very next day after he experienced his first kiss.
Stupid Tobio.
He could definitely hear Oikawa’s condescending voice echoing loudly in his mind when he saw Oikawa kissing another girl on the same spot that he made a similar move on him yesterday.
Although this time Oikawa’s eyes were not closed, instead, he was looking straight at where he was standing.
It was the similar glare Oikawa gave him on the court. A challenge to prove that whatever happened between them, Oikawa would always still have the upper hand on their twisted relationship.
Surprisingly, Kageyama didn’t cry. His heart ached but he guessed deep down, he knew this would always be the outcome.
If he really used his single brain-cell, the kiss, everything that happened yesterday never really made sense anyway.
Oikawa hated him and never tried to hide his obvious contempt for Kageyama. Even when his voice was sweet as saccharin, his taunt was loud and clear.
Kageyama Tobio was always a persistent guy but that day he realized whatever feelings he held for Oikawa Tooru were something he should let go.
“No one understands what is and is not important to you better than you do”.
He remembered Kazuyo-san’s advice to his sister, Miwa from a long time ago and decided to walk away from Oikawa and the spot that should have been a memorable place for him.
His first kiss from his first love.
The first few steps were heavy but as Kageyama thought of his destination, the Karasuno’s gym where the volleyball practice took place with a group of people who wanted him, for a brief moment, his heart was at peace.
Since then, Oikawa was just his senior from junior high that he drew the inspiration for his serve from. There were times when the thought of Oikawa and the kiss fleeting through his mind, but fortunately Kageyama found a way to bury them just as fast.
Time flew and now that he was a professional volleyball player and representative of the Japan Men Volleyball Team, Kageyama’s everyday life was swamped with training, game days, social networking and sponsorship activities that occupied his mind and time until there was no more space to daydream about the past.
Well, of course until Hinata sent him a selfie with Oikawa from Brazil. Sometimes, Kageyama really didn’t know how to describe Hinata’s existence in his life as a blessing or curse.
Really, the last thing that he wanted to see after an eventful, hard day at the national training camp for Rio Olympic preparation where Kageyama was struggling to show his worth as the youngest player among the other experienced members was definitely not a picture of Oikawa Tooru with his tongue out, mocking him just like the old days.
He really thought he already moved on from the stupid crush he had on Oikawa…but if he had, why would his heart feel miserable knowing Oikawa and Hinata were having a good time together, something that he hardly experienced with Oikawa, except of course on that brief hours they shared during that day.
Well, not that it mattered much since the dream-like moments were ruined the next day anyway.
Kageyama let out a deep sigh that caught the attention of his teammate, Ushijima.
“Are you alright, Kageyama? Don’t push yourself too hard”.
When Kageyama received the Brazil selfie, his hand unconsciously reached out for Ushijima to show him that picture too.
He honestly didn’t know why but maybe, just maybe, he thought Ushijima would feel the same ache in his heart but from the confused look on his face (which Kageyama would find funny in different circumstance), it finally hit him that being jealous about this selfie was not a normal reaction.
Not everyone is like you. Stupid Tobio-chan.
The voice was back and louder than ever, ringing in his ears.
“Kageyama?”, Ushijima called out again when the setter did not respond to him. He tapped his back just enough to bring Kageyama back to reality.
Ushijima Wakatoshi was not one to pry on other people's private life if it was not related to volleyball and the team, but he had been looking out for Kageyama since the very first day he joined the club Schweiden Adlers.
He still remembered how Kageyama’s family was worried about their son living alone in a new environment when they came over to discuss the contract with the team a few months before Kageyama graduated from Karasuno High School.
Ushijima, who happened to listen to the discussion, volunteered to look after him and even invited Kageyama to stay with him much to everyone’s surprise, especially the person in question.
At that time, Ushijima thought it was a logical decision to take considering they would spend lots of time together, not just in Schweiden Adlers but also in the national team as Kageyama’s starting spot was pretty much guaranteed after his sensational performance in the 2015 Spring Interhigh and Under-19 Japan Men Volleyball Team.
It had been about a year since they began to live together. It was awkward at first considering the hostile interactions they had in the past but as time went by, they started to find many similarities between them and grew closer enough to talk even about stuff that had no relations with volleyball.
This was the first time Ushijima saw his setter spacing out after training ended. The usual Kageyama would either use this spare time writing on his volleyball journal or filling his stomach with carb and protein to recover his tired muscles before going home.
Kageyama was unsurprisingly very strict about his diet and personal maintenance routine.
Ushijima tried to think what could have upset the setter since he was doing really well during the practice too when he suddenly remembered the selfie that Kageyama showed him earlier.
“So, what do you reply to Hinata Shouyo?”, Ushijima said.
“Huh?”. The sudden interest caught Kageyama off guard.
“Oh, about that..uhhh..nothing. I just sent ‘why’ to him. Can’t believe how, of all places, they coincidentally met each other there”, Kageyama tried to sound nonchalant but his heart was bleeding with the word coincidence.
After all, he met Oikawa by chance too during the last spring of his first year in high school when they shared a kis…
Okay. Stop. Don’t go there.
Ushijima noticed the changes in expressions on Kageyama’s face, not his usual frown but something closer to anguish, and so he decided to leave the topic alone.
He did not think it was right for him to probe more than necessary. At least, not right now.
“Alright then, do you want to have dinner together before going back home? Kiyoomi would be there too if you don’t mind”, Ushijima invited Kageyama hoping that a nice dinner would make him feel better.
After all, one thing that they shared in common was the appreciation for a fulfilling and delicious meal.
“Oh sorry, Ushijima-san. I already promised to meet up with my sister after this”, Kageyama lied despite being a bad liar.
He just did not want to be around other people right now. Usually, he would love to intrude on Ushijima’s date with Sakusa since the latter would always throw him a disgusted glare across the table, which Kageyama always found funny, but not today.
“It’s alright. Don’t worry about that, Kageyama. Just make sure you have a good dinner okay” , Ushijima assured him while ruffling his hair gently.
The warmth from Ushijima’s hand was comforting but it was not sufficient to quell the roaring emotions inside him right now.
He averted his gaze from looking at Ushijima. The guilt was eating him from the inside.
Kageyama knew his roommate was worried about him but instead of being grateful for that, he kept agonizing over this stupid stuff instead.
About stupid Oikawa Tooru who was probably having a lot of fun with Hinata right now.
Stupid Tobio-chan.
After Ushijima left, Tobio quickly pulled out his phone and frantically searched for that person’s name in his contact.
The only person that could give him the scorching heat he needed to burn and destroy these feelings again.
Miya Atsumu.
Miya Atsumu.
Higashiosaka, Osaka.
June, 2016.
[ 6:05 p.m.]
Atsumu:
‘Samu
Back home yet?
[6:12 p.m.]
Osamu:
Nah. Still at work.
Might be back a bit late. New stocks just arrived.
[6:14 p.m.]
Atsumu:
Ya busy? Great!
Go spend the night somewhere else.
Tobio-kun’s comin.
Thanks in advance 😏
[6:15 p.m.]
Osamu:
Uh, ‘scuse me, why would I spend the night outside, ya shithead?
I paid the rent, this is my apartment too.
[6:17 p.m.]
Atsumu:
Well I don’t mind.
But Tobio-kun sounds needy on the phone.
Don’t blame me if ya can’t sleep later lol.
[6:18 p.m.]
Osamu:
Go to the hotel, then?? MSBY doesn’t pay ya? 🙄
[6:19 p.m.]
Atsumu:
Nu uh, too much trouble.
Someone might recognize Tobio-kun.
Attention is all on him now since JVA made him the face of national team for Olympic 😒
Bleh. That goody two shoes.
If only people know what he’s like.
[6:25 p.m.]
Osamu:
I don’t know if ya worries or can’t stand him.
Make up yer mind, ‘Tsumu.
Told ya to stop doing this shit with him.
[6:30 p.m.]
Atsumu:
Also told ya so many times before
Not yer problem.
Anyway, don’t come home tonight 🤓
[6:32 p.m.]
Osamu:
Ya owe me one, ‘Tsumu.
Do what ya want. Don’t come crying to me (or Kita-san) when ya get too deep into him and he breaks yer heart 🖕
Atsumu chuckled reading the last message from his twin brother because he knew Osamu might curse him thousands of times but he would never stop caring about Atsumu no matter what happened.
Well, it was not like anything bad would happen, really.
Atsumu couldn’t fathom why Osamu was too wary of his relationship with Kageyama. To be more exact, his sexual relationship with Kageyama.
It was convenient, felt good and gave him the same exhilarating sensation when he was facing strong opponents on the court.
And it was not like they have been doing this for years. Actually, they only fucked once before during the after party of V-League 2015/2016 Season, which happened several months ago and then, Kageyama was swept away with the preparation for Rio Olympic much to Atsumu’s chagrin.
Although okay, to be honest, they might have been crossing inappropriate boundaries several times back in high school days.
But still, really, nothing serious. After all, this started with a dare to begin with.
It happened during one of their joint training camps with Karasuno, Itachiyama and Kamomedai High held in Tokyo during his final year of high school.
Hoshiumi insisted for them to play truth and dare for their last night. There were cheers rising up from the others but frankly, Atsumu wasn’t in a good mood because of his team’s poor performance that day.
Unfortunately, the little giant just wouldn’t let him sleep in peace so he begrudgingly joined the others, slipping in between Kageyama and Sakusa, who were obviously dragged here by force too.
Atsumu vaguely remembered what the others said during their turn but there was no way he could forget Kageyama’s.
Kageyama decided to go with the truth. One of them asked if there was anything that he was afraid of. Just a straightforward and boring question which was honestly such a waste.
“There are many other interesting things you can ask to a goody two shoes like Tobio-kun”, Atsumu internally judged.
He wasn’t paying much attention to Kageyama’s answers at that time until Hinata yelled, ”But Kageyama-kun, you are scared of The Grand King”.
“Shut up, dumbass. Oikawa-san is just different, okay. I can’t help it”, Kageyama retorted back heatedly.
The Karasuno members were all laughing at the freak duo exchanged and started to corner Kageyama with “Oikawa-san” just like Hinata.
His flustered expression made the other non Karasuno members curious. They never expected that Kageyama would be afraid of someone when he was a monster that devoured the mortals on the court.
“Grand King aka Oikawa was Kageyama’s upperclassman back in middle school. He is a setter too, the top one in Miyagi. Don’t have any idea where he is now, though…but for real, not even The Ushiwaka could pressure Kageyama like he did”, Atsumu heard the long introductory explanation from one of the Karasuno members.
Suddenly, Suna, like a little shit he was, interrupted,”Hehhh…so it means compared to his senior, Kageyama doesn’t care much about the best high school setter Miya Atsumu, huh?”.
“Duh, of course. Who would take losers like Tsumu seriously, anyway?”, Osamu snickered, insulting his twin brother was his favorite hobby after all.
“Don’t mind, Atsumu ”, others hollered while laughing.
“HUH? Like I care about someone who hasn’t been to national. Don’t know him. Don’t care. Doesn’t matter”, Atsumu retaliated, feeling more awful than before, which just compelled the others to play jokes on him more.
“Atsumu, your turn. Truth or dare”.
“Dare”.
“Are you sure?”.
“Just end the fuckin’ game already! Okay, fine. Truth”.
“Tsumu, ya scared?”.
“Shut up, ‘Samu. Ya know what? Just give me the worst dare and I’m done with this”.
Atsumu's moody replies suddenly turned the atmosphere tense. Of course, except Hoshiumi Kourai who couldn’t read the danger signs all over Inarizaki's setter.
Or maybe he knew and decided to mess with the already irritable fox anyway.
“Okay, I dare you to kiss Kageyama then”.
Everyone gasped, praying this game wouldn’t turn into a bloodshed.
“You are sulking right, because of that Oika whatever guy. So, just kiss Kageyama and everything will turn out fine”, Hoshiumi announced cheerfully.
“Uhhh…I'm not sulking. Ya aren’t making any sense Kourai-kun”, Atsumu sighed, suddenly feeling more exhausted than ever.
“Okay, but it's still a dare. So, you gonna do it or take the coward's mantle?”, the Kamomedai’s ace grinned.
Atsumu swore he would definitely destroy Kamomedai in the next Inter High Competition but for now let him deal with this first. Like a mature person.
He threw a glance at Kageyama who was sitting next to him and saw that the younger setter was just frowning and scowling like usual, which meant his default face.
The difference between him looking unaffected with what was currently happening right now compared to his clearly flustered reactions when they were talking about his senior earlier honestly bothered Atsumu a lot.
“Well, I don’t mind but I don’t feel like taking Tobio-kun first kiss in this setting since I’m a gentleman. This is actually very rude to him, ya know Kourai-kun”, Atsumu tried to sound cool and composed, hoping that Hoshiumi would just let this go.
“Don't worry. This wouldn’t be my first kiss,Miya-san”.
The honest statement left everyone flabbergasted since it came from the person whose life only revolved around volleyball and only volleyball more than anyone else in this room.
“What the ???”
“King??!!”.
“Kageyama???? How dare you hide this from me? Your sworn partner? When? With whom?”.
“Since when have you been involved in this kind of obscene act without your senior’s permission?? You are from now on disowned from this club.”
Kagyema rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh after being bombarded with so many questions.
“Stop overreacting. It’s just a kiss. No big deal. Just like this”, Kageyama shrugged annoyedly before approaching Atsumu and the deep blue in his eyes was the last thing Atsumu saw before he was pecked on the lips.
It was just a brief touch, nothing like Atsumu’s own sloppy first kiss but the light brush was enough to make his skin tingle with anticipation.
Atsumu barely had recollection on what happened the rest of the night but he remembered going to bed feeling better than before.
The next day, Kageyama approached him when there were only the two of them left in the gym. Surprisingly, they were not being teased by others throughout the morning run and barely anyone mentioned what happened last night.
Not even the instigators, Hoshiumi or Suna.
“Miya-san, I’m sorry about last night. Ennoshita-san said you are being considerate of me but I went on and did that myself. Sorry for troubling you”, Kageyama muttered, looking apologetic.
Karasuno sure had a scary and caring captain. He must be the one who asked the others to keep their mouths shut.
“Hmmmm…I don’t feel like forgivin’ ya Tobio-kun”,Atsumu decided to tease him since he was in a really good mood today.
“Please, Miya-san, forgive me!”.
This time, the younger setter raised his voice a bit while bowing down 90° degrees.
Atsumu let out a big laugh that caught Kageyama off guard when he realized the older setter was just messing with him but his frown expression relaxed after seeing Atsumu’s hearty grin.
“Does that mean we are okay, now?”.
“Only if ya tell me who’s yer first kiss”.
“It doesn’t matter, really. A kiss is just a kiss. Nothing special”.
“Kisses supposed to feel good ya know Tobio-kun, not nothing special”.
“Well it doesn’t feel good to me”.
Lies .
Kageyama did remember the fluttery feelings when Oikawa pressed his lips on him, softly at first, then gradually deepened which left him aching for more and Oikawa gave it to him sweetly, but the lingering taste turned bitter the next day anyway.
So yes, it’s not a lie.
“Hmm.. Tobio-kun. That sounds like a problem to me. Want me to teach ya kisses that feel good?” .
Kageyama thought Atsumu’s brown eyes were unexpectedly deep and rather ferocious when he inclined his face towards him and brushed their mouths together.
For a moment, Kageyama forgot about Oikawa's strikingly hazel orbs as his own eyes instantaneously clenched shut, in a trance of Atsumu's tongue, evoking from him sensations that he was sure he would never feel again.
The butterflies in his stomach were dancing again, and for some reason, Kageyama felt disappointed with himself.
Atsumu was right, the kisses were good, better even, which meant Kageyama was just as fickle as Oikawa.
He had no right to claim that the kiss he shared with Oikawa was something special.
Miya Atsumu & Kageyama Tobio
Higashioka, Osaka.
June, 2016
The doorbell rang just as Atsumu leisurely walked out from the shower, feeling refreshed. As always, Kageyama’s timing was always too precise and accurate, it was almost frightening.
When he opened the door, Atsumu was greeted with the sight of fidgeting Kageyama, in his deplorable attempt to disguise himself with black sunglasses, Schweiden Adler's cap and even wearing a face mask.
Atsumu surely hoped none of his neighbours witnessed Kageyama coming here because he really looked like a suspicious culprit right now.
“So, what brings the busy Olympian Kageyama Tobio to my house at this time of the night hmmm?”, Atsumu asked playfully. He could not suppress the triumphant grin on his face.
Kageyama answered him with his iconic frown and pout before inviting himself into the house. The moment the door closed, he quickly jumped on Atsumu by pinning him to the wall to kiss him fervently.
That action caught Atsumu off guard but once Kageyama licked the seams of his lips and nibbled his fleshy bottom to slip his tongue inside, Atsumu returned the kiss with as much ferocity as his own.
Kageyama wrapped his arms around Atsumu’s neck, eyes clenching shut as he struggled to keep the image and voice of the other setter, one with dark brown hair and hazel eyes out of his mind even though he was supposed to be thousands kilometres away from him.
The two hour journey in the bullet train from Tokyo to Osaka was torturous since his phone was the only source of entertainment Kageyama had.
He couldn’t help but to take a look at the Hinata and Oikawa selfie, stared hard enough until the image of Oikawa, the much older Oikawa-san who he wasn’t familiar with, carved deeply into his heart and left a hollow space inside.
“Fuck, don’t stop”, Kageyama cursed when Atsumu pulled away to trail his lips down Kageyama’s sharp jaw before gnawing the skin at his throat greedily.
“Miya-san, please stop teasing me. I just need—”, Kageyama muttered with a breathy moan, his hands palming Atsumu’s hardening length when the blonde setter’s attention moved from Kageyama’s throat to nipping the delicate slope between his neck and shoulder instead.
That demand stopped Atsumu from his mission to leave playful bites on the exposed skin over Kageyama’s stretched shirt.
When he looked up into the deep blue of Kageyama’s eyes, which were now drowning with lust and yearning, he knew intuitively that Kageyama was using him right now to forget something, someone else.
Two can play this game, Tobio-kun.
Atsumu’s hooded eyes were burning with the same intensity when he dragged Kageyama to his bedroom with one goal, to make the younger setter forget this someone .
He would make sure that it would only be his name that would come out from Kageyama’s mouth once Atsumu was done with him.
Harsh pants and obscene moans echoed shamelessly throughout the room.
Atsumu rocked in and out with just his tip, adjusting the wet and stretched little hole to his size before pushing in another inch each time.
The slow pace made Kageyama too aware of his intrusion. He could feel every vein, every throb of Atsumu’s huge desire as it forced his inside to accommodate the girth.
Even after being senselessly fingered and the generous amount of lube that Atsumu used on him earlier, it still hurts to be impaled by something thick but Kageyama welcomed any kind of pain and pleasure that Atsumu could offer him. It was still more comforting than the agony in his heart right now.
Kageyama spread his legs wider when Atsumu’s cock finally buried to the hilt inside him.
His strong thighs clutched onto Atsumu’s waist to pull him closer, to feel his warmth deeper.
Their almost similar height and build made them a perfect fit like a puzzle.
“Good, it feels good, Miya-san. I need, ah , ah — more”.
“Damn, ya look so needy begging like that, Tobio-kun. Didja like my cock that much?”.
Atsumu’s voice was low and filthy when he gripped Kageyama’s legs around him to push them up on his shoulder. Like this, in this position, at this angle, it’s perfect.
He watched attentively as Kageyama’s breath hitched in pleasure, delicate hands twisting mindlessly onto his sheets with each rough slam of Atsumu’s hips.
The sight of the king who commanded the court writhing under him with his bobbing dick pointed hard and leaking—all of Kageyama was so enticing that Atsumu just had to mess him up more.
He started to stroke Kageyama’s dick in the same rhythm as his thrust, pressing his thumb at the wet slit. Everytime Kageyama moaned his name, Atsumu found his bliss from the obscene flutters around his cock.
So, fuckin’ responsive.
He might be wrong about Kageyama's nature as a volleyball player but his first impression was still right, wasn’t he?
Yer a serious, obedient and a real good boy.
Atsumu was more certain about it when Kageyama finished with a shout, white seed spilling onto Atsumu’s tight grip when he asked him to cum.
“Miya ahn , slow… slow down, ah, I just—”,
Atsumu kept fucking him through it, hauling him up until Kageyama was sitting on his lap, whimpering through gritted teeth and trembling body as Atsumu told him to bounce on his still hard cock.
Kageyama’s weight drove Atsumu’s length much deeper inside with every powerful thrust from below, the crown pressing just right against his overstimulated sweet spot.
“Came here all the way from Tokyo after practice to get me to fuck ya, right? Show me the result of yer olympic training, then”, Atsumu demanded, eyes glinting with mischief while free hands reaching over to fondle Kageyama’s flushed chest.
He could feel Kageyama’s hands tightening around his neck and fingers tugging at his blonde’s hair harshly when Atsumu leaned forward to catch the tip of the erect nub between his teeth.
Just a little more push.
“Not gonna beat the foreigners with this kind of stamina, don’tcha ?”, he murmured hotly, making sure Kageyama felt Atsumu’s warm breath against his wet areola with every roll of his tongue.
When Atsumu heard the sharp breath from Kageyama at the mention of that, he grinned.
So easy to rile up.
Kageyama tried to take control then, precisely rolling and circling his hips, taking Atsumu’s cock like he was made for this while his own needy erection rubbed raw against Atsumu’s abs slippery.
Anal play isn’t for everyone, but even during their first time Atsumu thought Kageyama was really good at it. Instead of a virgin that Atsumu had to coax into relaxing and opening for him, Kageyama eagerly pushed back, swallowing both the pain and pleasure into his tight little hole.
“Didja know Tobio-kun? I bet I can make ya cum just like this, without touching ya… Hn, what if ya can’t cum anymore unless ya get dick inside yer cute ass? ”.
“Shut ahp—I’m goin to come ah gain, hn fuck..fuc”, Kageyama slurred his words as his entire body fell over the edge of his own orgasm, wailing as he came for the second time tonight. He shuddered, cursing Atsumu under his breath but his inside still reflexively, obediently clenching around Atsumu’s pulsating cock.
It pleased Atsumu to know that Kageyama went out his way, stucked in the train bullet for about two hours, risked to ditch his tomorrow volleyball training for fucking Olympic preparation because he wanted Atsumu and no one else to fuck him until he lost his mind like this.
It did not matter if Kageyama was thinking about someone else when he appeared in front of Atsumu's apartment because Atsumu knew he would be the only one in Kageyama’s mind when he was done with him.
I’ll have this.
He manhandled Kageyama to lay down on his back again and Kageyama watched hazily as Atsumu pulled out his cock and took off the condom to stroke himself between Kageyama’s spread legs.
Kageyama thought Atsumu looked breathtaking like this, his golden hair sticking out wild and messy, sweat sheening his tensed muscles, while his face contorted in pleasure as he orgasmed harder, dense white ropes of cum marking Kageyama’s body.
For a brief moment, their eyes locked into each other and suddenly Atsumu was overwhelmed with a fierce wave of possessiveness. He let his instinct guide him as he pushed himself into Kageyama once more to release his remaining load deep inside, with less resistance than before, the hole now loose for him.
Because of him.
Silence took over as they were both trying to recollect themselves.
Kageyama could feel Atsumu’s cum dripping out of him, leaving him uncomfortably sticky but he was too tired and sore to even complain or do anything else.
Before Kageyama could rest his eyes, he was being manhandled for the third or was it four times tonight ? He already lost count.
Atsumu flipped him around until Kageyama was kneeling on all four with hips sticking up in the air. He was literally crawling with embarrassment in this position, feeling exposed more than usual but before he could protest, Atsumu grabbed his ass firmly, told him to stay still so he could spread him open and watch his cum trickling from the gaping and still twitching entrance.
“Miya-san—“.
“Shh, Tobio-kun! Let me take care of ya okay”.
Shame and arousal washed over Kageyama at the same time. He suddenly forgot what he had been agonizing about hours ago as the blunt head of Atsumu’s growing erection nudged up against him again and slided inside easily with a loud, dirty squelch.
“Hang in there for a little longer today, Tobio.”
Kageyama thought he lost consciousness somewhere in the middle of the intense fucking but when he came to his senses again, he faintly heard Atsumu apologized to him while cleaning him up (for real, this time).
“Haven’t fucked anyone since our last time together. Sorry, I guess I’m kinda pent up and lost control”.
Kageyama thought about his first kiss with Oikawa and how his lip was easily replaced by someone else the very next day.
Then, Kageyama thought about the first time he had sex with Atsumu and how he was still the only recipient of his intimate touch even months later.
He fell asleep thinking about Atsumu’s rough and gentle hands and how he wanted to stay in his warm embrace a little bit longer.
[12:15 a.m.]
Ushjima:
Atsumu, is Kageyama with you right now?
[12:25 a.m.]
Atsumu:
Uhmm… why would Tobio be in Osaka?
Why? Something happens?
[12:27 a.m.]
Ushijima:
It will do no good to both of us if you lie, Atsumu.
I just want to make sure he’s alright, right now.
[12:30 a.m.]
Atsumu:
Okay…okay.. yer right, he’s here.
With me. Safe and sound.
Please don’t be mad, okay.
[12:40 a.m.]
Ushijima:
That’s good.
Also I’m not mad. Whatever relationship you two have is not my business.
As long as it's not in my bedroom.
Also tell Kageyama to check his phone later.
I asked the coaches to give him a day off tomorrow. He doesn’t look too well, earlier.
Take care of him.
Thank you.
Atsumu put down his phone on the bedside table after reading the last message from Ushijima Wakatoshi. God, he really hoped Ushijima could forget about that issue already. It was not his fault if he didn't know which one was Kageyama’s room that night, okay!
Tobio was the one who brought me back to yer home.
He still remembered the murderous look in Ushijima’s eyes when he caught both of them naked on his bed the next day. Ushijima reminded him of Kita-san, his former captain from Inarizaki and that was not a good thing.
When the man who was dubbed as Japan’s young cannon locked his chilling eyes into Atsumu and coldly asked him to put on his clothes before interrogating him at the dinner table, Atsumu really thought it was the end of his life.
Meanwhile, Kageyama was still sleeping like a log during what probably one of the toughest moments Atsumu had since he was born, although he took pride that it was because he fucked the light out of Kageyama last night.
Ushijima was actually a lot calmer than he expected. He didn’t probe whether he and Kageyama were going out or just screwing around.
Instead, he just told him to be more careful about this and also asked Atsumu to hide the fact that Ushijima knew about this from the younger setter, probably so the latter wouldn’t feel awkward or embarrassed around Ushijima later.
God, Tobio sure is spoiled by people around him. Shoyo-kun, the lots at Karasuno, and even Ushijima Wakatoshi .
“Ya spoiled him too right, Tsumu”, his deep consciousness that annoyingly sounded a lot like Osamu whispered.
“Nah. Never”.
“Ya fucked him, made him forgot his misery just like what he wanted. Yer whipped, Tsumu”.
“Nu, uh! That’s for my own pleasure”.
The devil inside his head snickered. Again, just like Osamu or probably more similar to Suna now.
“If you are in for pleasure, you can just go fuck other people. No need to wait for months until he comes to you again”.
“Shut up”.
Kageyama slight rustling under the comforter beside him snapped Atsumu out of the conversation with himself.
The last time they slept together, Atsumu was too drunk so he passed out after they finished and when he woke up, the hungover hit him hard, not to mention the sudden confrontation with Ushijima.
So, this was the first time he watched Kageyama as he slept, lightly snoring. Unsurprisingly, he was frowning even in his sleep and babbled some nonsense before lulling into deep slumber again.
This tugged at Atsumu’s heartstring as he discovered a new side of Kageyama. His lips unconsciously twitched into a fond smile especially when Kageyama scowled harder.
He was about to touch Kageyama’s bruised and swollen lips ( God, would Ushijima kill him if he saw how he mauled Tobio?) before Atsumu was interrupted with the sounds of a call, from what definitely was not his phone.
Atsumu’s heart thudded loudly as if he was caught red handed. He lets out a sigh, internally thanking the caller for whatever annoying reasons.
When it rang for the second time, Atsumu pulled himself up to search for Kageyama’s phone as the thought of Ushijima calling to check on Kageyama like a worrywart he was, wouldn’t let him rest easy.
“Huh, it’s Shouyo-kun!”. Atsumu picked up the video call without a second thought as he felt excited seeing the name of the caller. It had been quite some time since he heard anything from the tangerine-head boy.
The last time they met was when Hinata greeted Kageyama and Atsumu during the Schweiden Adlers and MSBY Black Jackal semi-final match in the Emperor's Cup back in January. Kageyama was the one who brought up about Hinata's departure to Brazil around April.
“Shouyo—kun, hi! Ya doing well in Rio right now?”.
“Ehhhhhhhhhh—Atsumu-san? WHAT? WHY KAGEYAMA’S PHONE IS WITH YOU RIGHT NOW?”.
Atsumu chuckled. He was glad to know that Hinata was in high spirits as always even though he was far away from home.
“Why, Chibi-chan? Tobio doesn’t answer the phone?”.
Atsumu heard another voice, speaking Japanese from the other side of the phone and watched as a brown-haired man came into his view.
“ Uh, Oikawa-san, Kageyama picks up the call but technically it’s Atsumu-san who answers the phone”.
Oikawa-san. The name sounded familiar but Atsumu vaguely remembered where he heard him before.
Oh, right! The camp. The truth & dare game. Tobio-kun’s senpai.
“ Sorry, Shouyo-kun. Tobio-kun is sleeping right now. I don’t think he’s going to wake up anytime soon”.
“EHHHH—KAGEYAMA IS SLEEPING AT YOUR HOUSE, ATSUMU-SAN? DIDN’T YOU LIVE IN OSAKA? I THOUGHT KAGEYAMA HAS PRACTICE WITH THE NATIONAL TEAM IN TOKYO RIGHT NOW”.
“Yeah, well, things happened”.
Atsumu kept his answers simple, ignoring Hinata’s insistent yelling. He was more interested in the man beside Hinata right now. Unfortunately, Hinata wouldn’t stop screaming through the phone.
“ What??!!That guy couldn’t even spare his time to send me off to the airport but he can ditch training to go to your house. I can’t believe him”.
“Hahahaha. Sorry Shouyou—kun. Well, ya see,Tobio-kun kinda desperately needs something from me so—”.
That man’s face twitched as he listened to their conversation.
“Hmmmphh…tell Kageyama that he owes me meat buns for the rest of his life for this outrageous betrayal”.
“Don’t mind, Shouyou-kun. Sometimes, there are things in life that men will prioritize more than their friends..right, Oikawa-kun?”.
That Oikawa-guy probably never expected for Atsumu to call out his name. He looked startled and confused, a similar expression Kageyama made when Atsumu first called him goody-two shoes.
“Ahhh—I forgot to introduce you guys. Atsumu-san, this is Oikawa-san. Kageyama’s senpai from middle school. Oikawa-san, this is Atsumu-san…uhmm..we played each other a few times at spring national …he's a setter too and oh.…Kageyama met him in the national youth camp before”.
Hinata intervened when the atmosphere died down after Atsumu’s last remark earlier.
“Oh, right. Nice to meet you, Atsu-chan. Well, to be honest, I’m quite surprised that Tobio will prioritize any other stuff than volleyball. You must be quite an exception”.
It was impressive how that guy could compose himself so fast and even be the one who was cornering right now.
No wonder Tobio can’t handle him well .
“ Oh…I guess ya haven’t met Tobio-kun for a while now, Oi-ka-wa-san? Ya will be surprised at how much he changed”.
The distance between Osaka and Rio was approximately around 18,686 km but even when they were on opposite sides of Earth, Atsumu could still sense the rising tension between them.
This guy is bad news.
Although frankly, Atsumu also didn’t even know why he was picking a fight with Kageyama’s middle school senior. Definitely not because he was jealou—
Ok. Definitely not that.
“Ah…Atsumu-san, our ride has arrived. Sorry, but I need to hang up right now. It’s nice to talk to you again. Let’s keep in touch okay!!! Oh, and don’t spoil Kageyama too much”.
Hinata bid him goodbye reluctantly before ending the video call. Atsumu catched a glimpse of displeased look on Oikawa’s face behind Hinata before they disappeared from the screen.
There were so many thoughts jumbled up in his mind about Kageyama, about the many unregistered emotions and sudden possessiveness he felt around him, about that Oikawa guy, about their relationship, but, today had been quite an eventful day and Atsumu just wanted to have a rest right now.
It’s okay. Tobio-kun will still be here when I wake up tomorrow.
There’s no rush.
Oikawa Tooru
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
June, 2016.
“So… that Atsumu guy, is Tobio-chan close to him?”, Oikawa muttered, hoping that his voice sounded as nonchalant as possible after they finished ordering their lunch at a Japanese restaurant near Hinata’s place because the little tangerine had been quite persistent to repay Oikawa’s favor for treating him to dinner last night.
“Atsumu-san and Kageyama? I guess so… they are kind of similar so Kageyama gets along well with him compared to the other setters that I know”, Hinata answered thoughtfully after considering Kageyama’s relationship with setters from another school like Kenma, Akaashi, Koganegawa and even the man in front him.
“But, it’s still weird that Kageyama went all the way to Atsumu-san’s house in Osaka for a sleepover, though…. Atsumu-san said there’s something that Kageyama desperately needs from him. What do you think, Oikawa-san?”, Hinata asked back, trying to make sense of the phone call they had earlier.
He was right. It was definitely suspicious and out of character for Kageyama to do that, especially in the middle of national training camp he was having in Tokyo. Moreover, it was a crucial time since there were only two weeks left before the Rio Olympics commenced.
“Oh…I guess ya haven’t met Tobio-kun for a while now, Oi-ka-wa-san? Ya will be surprised at how much he changed ”.
“Sometimes, there are things in life that men will prioritize more than their friends..right, Oikawa-kun?”.
Upon remembering Atsumu’s words to him earlier about Kageyama, Oikawa scowled and started sulking.
Stupid national team player.
“Huh? Who? Are you talking about Kageyama?” Hinata questioned, feeling bewildered by the sudden change of Oikawa’s mood.
Oikawa realized then he just said his inner thought out loud and decided to just rant to Hinata. Surely, out of people who knew Kageyama, Hinata would understand his feelings.
“Yeah, who else? Of course that guy… What's up with him anyway doing that? Like is it a rebellious phase? Trying to play hooky? Doesn’t he know there are many people who would give anything to be in his place right now?”, Oikawa spat out his words, clenching his jaw, feeling irritated.
Hinata looked like a deer caught in a headlight listening to Oikawa’s complaint about Kageyama. He knew there was always this kind of strange tension between them but it was surprising to hear this from Oikawa when all he knew about the Grand King from Kageyama was how much Kageyama looked up and feared this ‘Oikawa-san’.
“Uhmm… ah, maybe Kageyama was having a hard time at the camp and tried to look for advice from Atsumu-san? I did remember that he asked for Atsumu-san’s opinion when he decided to play professionally right after high school like him……….”, Hinata said nervously.
Even though he had no idea why Oikawa was getting a bit heated about this, it felt right to defend Kageyama.
When Oikawa was still not convinced as he was currently stabbing the poor salad that just arrived with his fork, Hinata tried saying more, “Oh, but do you think it had something to do with the selfie we sent last night? Kageyama doesn’t know you are playing in the Argentina League, right?”.
Oikawa stopped torturing the salad and just stared at the food like it would offer the answer to Hinata’s question instead.
“The selfie..huh”, Oikawa muttered, more to himself than to Hinata. “You really think it’s bothering him, Chibi-chan? Seeing me again? That he needs to run to Miya?”.
He couldn’t help the bitter tone at the end.
Hinata was quiet for a while, pondering the right answer to give before speaking his mind honestly.
“This is a secret, okay. Don’t tell Kageyama I told you this but uh..I do realize that after you graduated, Kageyama didn't really mention you again. Like when I asked whether he knew if you are still playing, he would change the topic… which was strange! Because he was usually so enthusiastic about you, Oikawa-san !! Like there was one time that we brought you up, and he got so angry. Well, he’s always angry but that time it was more like sad anger ....”.
Oikawa’s expression was unreadable at first. He looked puzzled, clearly never expecting to hear this but when the words sank in, the surprise faded and was replaced by something quieter. He bit his lips and even though Hinata couldn’t see it, he was aware that under the table, Oikawa’s nails were digging into his palm as if the sharp sting might drown out whatever emotions threatened to surface.
It wasn’t guilt nor regret or about volleyball anymore. It felt heavier than that and from the solemn reactions, Hinata’s gut feeling told him that Oikawa knew exactly the answer to Kageyama’s peculiar behavior.
So, he continued, “I mean Kageyama is.. he bottles things up, but you know he’s not good at hiding when he’s upset….and I don’t think Kageyama is running away. He probably just wants to feel okay again”.
Oikawa opened his mouth, then closed it. Every word tangled in a knot he couldn’t untie. How could he pretend this meant nothing? Not in front of Hinata of all people.
“You really know everything about Tobio, chibi-chan. Been missing him a lot hmmm? ”, Oikawa asked instead, his voice light, too light as he tried to divert the conversation to anything but his feelings towards Kageyama.
Unfortunately, Hinata didn’t rise to the bait. His eyes steady as he returned the ball effectively to Oikawa’s court again, “Of course I miss him. He’s my most important partner”.
Then, a pause, just long enough to sting.
“How about you, Oikawa-san?”
What is Kageyama to you? Do you miss him? was what went unspoken, but Oikawa heard it all the same. It echoed louder than anything Hinata had said aloud. And for a second, his deceptive smile faltered.
“I don’t know. Maybe I just miss being that important to someone”, Oikawa laughed to lighten up the conversation, but it was hollow and brittle around the edges.
Hinata didn’t respond right away. He felt the weight behind his words, the quiet grief in them and all the chances lost in petty rivalry.
“I think…” Hinata began carefully, “being important to someone doesn’t just disappear. Not really. Even if we both change.”
Oikawa gave him a tiny soft smile at the maturity behind Hinata’s words. The kid had changed, too.
So, he nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense”. But deep down, Oikawa knew better they weren’t.
Hinata’s place in Kageyama’s life was irreplaceable, unlike him. And he was the one who gave Kageyama the reason to not give a meaning to their relationship in the first place.
They didn’t talk much after that. Oikawa just let Hinata ramble about his beach volleyball training and life in Brazil. But his thoughts strayed far away, back to the smell of rain and the taste of lingering first kiss that he stole from Kageyama years ago.
Oikawa Tooru & Kageyama Tobio
Miyagi Prefecture.
March, 2013
That day, although graduation was supposed to be the much-awaited highlight event for soon to be high school graduates, it felt just like another day for Oikawa.
After all, his high school life was more or less concluded the moment his team lost to Karasuno in the Spring Interhigh Qualifier semi-final match back in October last year.
Since then, he spent the rest of his last high school term counting the days for a whole new world to unfold before his very eyes. Soon.
Honestly, Oikawa was quite surprised with himself when the loss didn’t hit him as hard as he feared considering he had always been dreading the day Kageyama would surpass him, the fact he never once won against Ushijima and also the realization that he couldn’t bring his team to a bigger stage, to national for years.
He really thought when that day arrived, it would shatter him. Sure, the talk he shared with his mentor, Jose Blanco did give him a huge boost to keep moving forward despite the high chance to stumble upon a harsh and thorny road ahead, but if he was really being truthful to himself, the uneasiness and all the uncertainties about his own future in this sport really cleared up when he locked his eyes with Kageyama after the match, his last high school match really ended.
That was the moment the doubt settled inside of Oikawa. He had seen something in the younger setter’s clear gaze that made him feel like he didn’t need to win to prove his worth. Not to Kageyama at least.
To think that there was a time he nearly drowned himself in the nasty sea of inferiority complex and jealousy when Tobio looked at him with those very same eyes, that ironically were giving him a much-needed solace to not falter with what his teammates dubbed as a crazy ass decision after he shared his future plan with them.
“We’re even now. Don’t let it go to your head”.
He wished he could’ve said something more meaningful for his last words to Kageyama as high-schooler Oikawa Tooru, something less prickly but he didn’t want to relinquish the high ground he always had on Kageyama, not even when he was the loser on that day.
“Fuck, I will really stay as loser if I don’t stop thinking about Tobio right now” , Oikawa cursed under his breathe realizing that he let his thought wandered on his junior, that guy of all people instead of focusing on his graduation ceremony.
He really wasted quite some time since the principal was already in the middle of concluding his speech.
Well, to be fair, it was not like he was eager to listen to the lengthy ass speech anyway. And Oikawa already decided on his future path, so there was no need for another motivation from a not so important figure in his life. (Not that he was implying Tobio was important to him or anything).
“From this day forth, you will all be leaving the bounds of Aoba Johsai, and joining society at large. Out there, you will will surely meet many more new people and form deeper connections as you go through the stage to adulthood together and at the same time, you’ll slowly drift apart from friends you once thought close. Human connection is a fragile thing. With that in mind, if you’ve met someone you truly care for, keep them close and cherish them forever”.
Strangely, the last bits of the speech from the principal left a lasting impact and resounded deep within his heart.
And he was sure the advice referred to the connections he made here, his classmates, friends, teachers, coaches and most importantly his dearest teammates, so again for God’s sake why Kageyama was the one who popped up in his mind at this very moment?
It was not exactly unexpected since he was already thinking about him earlier, but now that Kageyama kept appearing uninvited, it was really getting on Oikawa’s nerves.
“Fuck!”.
“That’s the second time you curse in the span of 5 minutes. What’s wrong with you, Shittykawa?”.
No matter how hard he tried to spin the words, saying, “I can’t stop thinking about Tobio, that’s what it is” really sounded like he was obsessed with him or something and Oikawa didn’t need his best friend, Iwaizumi who knew him like the back of his hand to point it out loud to him.
“Iwa-chan, are you sure your future plan after high school isn’t being my mom?”.
Whamm!!
Really, maybe a smack on the head was what Oikawa really needed to drive Kageyama out of his mind.
Unfortunately, not even Iwaizumi’s hard smack could get rid of Kageyama Tobio.
His mind wandered back to that boy when Kindaichi and Kunimi came over to congratulate him. As he looked at his juniors, a thought suddenly occurred whether there would come a time when both of them would be friends with Kageyama again.
Many things could happen in two years after all. People changed, and so did relationships, for better or worse, only time would tell.
He patted their backs, flashing his usual “I have faith in you guys” smile he often reserved to his teammates before any match started.
“Now it’s up to the both of you to do better, okay!”.
Obviously, he was referring to the team and the expectations he had on them going forward but he might also mean something else entirely.
Oikawa couldn’t wouldn’t be nice to Kageyama, but maybe since they weren’t as twisted as him, Kindaichi and Kunimi could do it differently than him.
Again, every single thing reminded him of Kageyama. Even when his fangirls bombarded him with colorful presents, well-wishes and confession after the ceremony ended, he thought about the time, exactly three years ago, during his middle school graduation day when Kageyama went to him with a ball in his hand, asking him to teach him the trick to his serve toss one last time. But of course, Oikawa flatly rejected him as usual.
He admitted it was very petty and childish of him, but really, he always knew deep down in his heart that Kageyama didn’t really need his help.
He knew since the very first time he laid his eyes on Kageyama’s overwhelming passion and talent, it was inevitable that one day he would be the one chasing after his back.
And it was true wasn’t it? At 16 years old, Kageyama shone brighter than he ever was on his first time in national, a stage that Oikawa could only dream of for the last six years.
There was no hiding the truth. He couldn’t stop thinking about Kageyama lately because he brought it upon himself.
Not one day went by without Oikawa obsessively watching the recording of all Karasuno’s matches in the last Spring Interhigh till the image of the quiet king, who ruled the court with his serene presence, deeply engraved in his soul.
Oikawa wanted to see him before the little bird flew away out of his reach.
“You look like shit, Crappykawa!”.
“Iwa-chan, we are high school graduates now. About time to improve your vocabulary, don’t you think so?”.
Oikawa expected to receive another smack on his head but his best friend just gave him an incredulous look, which was honestly scarier because no one could read him as well as Iwaizumi could.
“You know, I can cover for you if you don’t feel like going to the gathering after this”.
Maybe it was because of the graduation ceremony, but Oikawa suddenly felt emotional listening to the kindness in Iwaizumi’s words. He couldn’t imagine how he would fare in the future without Iwaizumi by his side.
“Iwa-chan, uhhm…I…”, the words stuck at the back of his throat.
“You already have a place to go in your mind, right?”.
Iwaizumi wasn’t accusing or judging him. He was encouraging him.
“I will make up for this later. Promise!”.
“Hah, you better!”.
This was stupid ass decision. Oikawa was being really stupid. And it’s all because of his stupid junior, stupid Kageyama Tobio that Oikawa was currently standing in front of Karasuno High School which was basically void of human presence except few students and teachers who were in charge of cleaning after the graduation ceremony ended.
“Of course, there’s no way Tobio’s still here…It’s graduation day. No club activities. That volleyball idiot probably rushed back home to practice by himself”, Oikawa sighed before laughing out loud at his own ridiculousness because really what was he trying to accomplish here.
He quickly composed himself when he caught the weird glances thrown to him, hoping that none of them were from someone he knew.
Please not any of the noisy Karasuno members because he really would consider digging and burying himself in the hole then.
Like how did he even start to explain why The Great Oikawa Tooru was here? So fucking embarrassing!
Alright, now that the realization hit him hard, that he was really acting out of character for the whole day, this turn of event actually worked out well in his favour.
If somehow the universe aligned their time and Kageyama was still here, he would be making a fool of himself in front of him. And that was definitely not the way he wanted to remember his graduation day.
Oikawa pulled out his phone from the inner side of his pocket to check his class’s group chat which was currently being bombarded with all kinds of pictures from his classmates. He wondered if it was too late to join the party or he would just spoil the fun by arriving late.
Well, Oikawa knew that none of them were that petty to hold a grudge against him for ditching them especially since Iwaizumi was there to cover his ass, so why couldn’t he stop overthinking everything today?
3:00 p.m.
Iwaizumi:
Feeling much better?
We’re still here if you want to come
3:08 p.m.
Oikawa:
Aww…Iwa-chan missing me already :p
Already on the bus..otw >.>
Oikawa smiled imagining Iwaizumi’s reaction to his teasing and felt so much better. He looked out the window to make sure it wasn’t his destination yet when the bus halted in front of a stop and suddenly his breath was taken away by a familiar silhouette.
Of course, he would recognize the back of that head anywhere. Still perfectly roundish and adorable as ever.
Without thinking much, Oikawa left his seat and quickly rushed out, almost tripping at the exit when he got off from the bus although his body kept moving on its own until he finally stood in front of the person who had been occupying his mind for the whole day.
Kageyama looked surprised. His eyes that always appeared sharp widened, staring at Oikawa without blinking.
In other circumstances, Oikawa would probably use this opportunity to tease the younger setter's confused reactions but obviously he was not in the better position right now to act high and mighty after the stunt he just pulled.
It was still spring, but Oikawa felt as though a cold winter wind had just cut through them, freezing the words in both their throats. Neither of them spoke.
For a long, breathless moment, they just stood there, staring at each other until Kageyama broke the silence first.
“Oikawa-san…uhh…what are you doing here?”.
Oikawa blinked. He hadn’t even fully registered where he was and he definitely couldn’t say "I wanted to see you."
“Ehem… hmm… haha… uh, oh!!! I have a date! Around here. Yeah. A date.” He let out an awkward bark of laughter as his throat suddenly got very dried. “Almost missed the stop, haha.”
Kageyama nodded, but his eyes didn’t meet Oikawa’s. His voice was quiet and too stiff when he replied, “Oh… a date. Right. Of course… makes sense.” He shifted his bag, gripping the strap tightly , then he said, “Uhmm… have a nice day, Oikawa-san.”
And just like that, he turned away with a quick step toward the bus like he couldn't get out of there fast enough.
Honestly, when his brain came up with that flimsy date excuse, Oikawa already decided this was the best way to part in order to end the nonsense that had been gnawing at him for days.
But after seeing that kind of reaction from Kageyama, how could he just let him walk away?
So, for the second time, in the span of mere minutes apart, Oikawa caved in to a desire he thought never existed before. He reached out and grabbed Kageyama’s wrist.
How ironic. Last summer, when they ran into each other at Oikawa’s nephew’s junior volleyball class, it was Kageyama who begged him to stay, to hear him out.
Oikawa still had the photo of Kageyama bowing down to him in his phone gallery. Maybe karma was real after all.
“Oikawa-san?”.
“I lied”, Oikawa answered with a low voice, cheeks tinged pink. “I came here to see you, actually”. His voice turned louder, braver.
It was easy to charm people around him when he was being honest like this, but Kageyama had always been different. Still, Oikawa held onto Kageyama’s wrist, with his heart on his throat, waiting for a response until the bus conductor yelled and intruded their moments.
“Hey, boys! You two want to get on the bus or not?”.
Oikawa bit his tongue. He had never wanted to be so disrespectful to an elder in his life. Could the Old Man not read a room? He was putting his pride on the line here for God's sake.
But before he could yell back, he felt Kageyama’s wrist shift under his grip. He was trying to pull away.
Oikawa had never been "rejected" before since being dumped that one time by his ex didn’t count because it had been more of mutual agreement than a heartbreak.
For some reasons, being denied by Kageyama hurt in a way he didn't expect. Still, after all the times Oikawa pushed him away, what had he been hoping for?
"Tobio, sor-".
"SORRY FOR HOLDING YOU UP, SIR! WE STILL HAVE SOMETHING TO DO HERE SO PLEASE GO FIRST", Kageyama shouted loudly, bowing stiffly at the bus conductor.
Oikawa froze and the apology stuck in his throat. Always surpassing his expectations, really, what an annoyingly precious junior, his Tobio-chan.
When the bus disappeared from their sight, it was awkward once again between them. Oikawa cleared up his throat, then strolled over to the nearest bench and plopped down without ceremony.
He patted the empty spot beside him, “Sit here Tobio”.
Kageyama hesitated for a beat, then followed.
"Okay, uhmmm just in case you misunderstood, I know this was super weird but uhh.. I don’t stalk you or anything”, Oikawa blurted out defensively.
“I saw you from the bus window by chance…and I also want to see ..uh have something to say to you…so that was what brought me here. So, what are you doing in Shiroishi, Tobio-chan? Visiting an old school?", Oikawa promptly asked after realizing their current location.
The bus stop near Kitagawa Daiichi Junior High School.
"I planned to go there but changed my mind so I was heading back earlier", Kageyama muttered, his eyes on the ground instead of Oikawa’s.
Oikawa tilted his head, “Why do you change your mind?".
"Why do you want to meet me?".
"That's rude, Tobio-chan. You can’t answer a question with another question".
Hearing that, Kageyama snapped his head towards Oikawa, his already sharp eyes narrowed into a glare.
"You're the one asking me to stay, Oikawa-san. If you have nothing to say and just want to ridicule me as always, I'll leave".
Kageyama stood up, huffing and visibly upset but before he could leave, Oikawa grabbed his hand once again, but this time without being forceful, and gently held it in his own.
"Let's go together, then!".
“Why…?”.
Oikawa shrugged and told him straight, “You look like you need it”.
Kageyama didn’t argue back and he found himself following Oikawa’s back like all of those years ago in Kitagawa Daiichi. His heart was pounding loudly in his chest, but unlike before, it wasn’t out of anticipation or excitement but the restlessness whether this was a closure or another beginning.
They didn’t talk much on the walk to Kitagawa Daiichi, but the silence between them wasn’t the awkward kind or tension charged anymore. It felt like something unspoken was finally making its way to the surface.
The school grounds were quiet, nearly empty, save for a few distant voices echoing from the staff building. The volleyball gym doors were locked but Oikawa, being Oikawa, found a window that hadn’t been sealed properly. As an ex-captain of this team who always abused his power so he could practice longer, Oikawa knew his ways around this gym.
“After you, Tobio-chan,” Oikawa whispered with a mischievous grin and boosted Kageyama up before slipping in right after him.
The gym was dark and unexpectedly felt unfamiliar now to Oikawa after three years, but the moment he stepped onto the court, something shifted. All the memories came rushing back.
Unfortunately for him, unlike the warm comfort of Aoba Johsai Gym, there were more bad memories left here including the stinging echoes of his own mistakes and the heavy weight of never being enough.
“It’s smaller than I remember. Everything is, when you go back I guess”, Oikawa muttered.
In hindsight, all those hard times too felt insignificant now. He glanced at Kageyama who was already walking toward the volleyball cart located at the centre of the gym and wondered if Kageyama’s memories of this place were as bitter as his own.
There had to be more pain in this gym for him too, considering the whole self-centered king drama that happened in his third years here.
“Want to play?” Kageyama asked instead, throwing one of the balls to Oikawa’s direction.
Their eyes locked when Oikawa caught the ball with ease. It was a moment. Too long. Too loaded with the umpteen rejections to “Can you teach me the trick to your jump serve, Oikawa-san”.
Oikawa broke the eye-contact first but proposed a game instead, “How about this? Let’s play, serve and receive. If the person gets the ball up, the other one needs to answer their question”.
Kageyama raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued but not fully convinced.
“What kind of question?”.
“Any question. I will even entertain your question about my amazing serve”, Oikawa answered, a teasing grin tugging at the corner of his lips. “Don’t worry, Tobio-chan. Oikawa-san will go easy on you, okay”, he added with a mocked serious tone.
Kageyama scowled harder but Oikawa could see the competitive fire in his eyes.
“Okay.. but you better not run away this time, Oikawa-san”.
The floorboards groaned under Oikawa’s quick steps and without waiting for Kageyama to get ready first seconds after he agreed to play, Oikawa already tossed the ball into the air to launch a fierce serve across the court.
He aimed straight to Kageyama’s weak spot in a swift, precise motion and even though Kageyama managed to leap into position, the ball still zipped past his fingers before he could even react.
“That was an easy serve, Tobio-chan. At this rate, chibi-chan will be a better receiver than you”, Oikawa smirked, his brown orbs twinkling with mischief again.
“That should not count. You.. cheated,” Kageyama grumbled.
“Cheating? Is that the best excuse you have, Tobio-chan?”, Oikawa raised an eyebrow, making sure the teasing tone lingered.
Kageyama flushed, clearly disappointed with his failure to bump such a simple serve. But there was more curiosity in his eyes now, something Oikawa had always known would get him to play along.
Even though his pride was screaming for a redo, Kageyama pushed it down to entertain whatever game Oikawa wanted to play. It wasn’t always he had Oikawa full attention on him after all.
“Okay,” Kageyama muttered after collecting himself again, “ask.”
Oikawa’s eyes softened at the resignation and after thinking for a while, he said, “Why do you want to go back here today?”. There was no hint of teasing in his voice this time. He wasn’t mocking. He just wanted to know.
Kageyama stayed silent and for a moment, Oikawa wasn’t sure if he would ever get an answer at all until Kageyama spoke up again.
“Last year, I skipped the graduation day because I thought it wasn’t important. But today, seeing the third year senior being emotional, I….. just realized that I never properly say goodbye to this place”, Kageyama finally said, his tone steady but tinged with a bit of sadness.
He paused, looking at Oikawa for a brief second, a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes, “I guess I didn’t really understand how important it was until now”.
His confession hung between them like a weight. Oikawa wasn’t sure how to process it, not quite sure what to do with this level of openness from Kageyama. This was Kageyama’s way of coming back to things that he didn’t know how to handle before and properly, finally, putting them in the past.
Oikawa’s heart thudded unexpectedly. Was that the reason why he was so hung up over Kageyama too? Was there something here that needed to be said goodbye too?
His chest tightened. But before he could say anything, the whistle blew, not from a referee on court, but from a very unimpressed security guard standing in the doorway of the gym.
“HEY! What are you two doing here?!”
The voice echoed across the gym, but Oikawa barely had time to register it before his instincts kicked in. He grabbed Kageyama’s wrist for the third time that day and yanked him towards the window they snuck through earlier.
Once they slipped out hurriedly, they bolted from the ground that Oikawa believed now, was never welcoming towards the two of them. The gym was behind them, but it still clung to the air, to their footsteps, to their shared history. His heart raced, pounding not just from the sprint but from the whirlwind of emotions.
“I guess that’s it, huh?” Oikawa murmured while dragging Kageyama in his hands, glancing back towards the gym they just left, now only a shadow in the distance. “No more going back.”
That was a step towards something, right?
By the time they made it to the nearest park, the rain was suddenly pouring. They ducked under a small bus stop shelter, both panting and laughing breathlessly like kids who had just broken curfew.
That was the first time Oikawa ever heard Kageyama laugh and he thought it was quite a pity he never really heard Kageyama being this happy around him before.
They sat there for a while, just listening to the rain drum steadily around them, trying to ignore the wet school uniform clinging uncomfortably against their skin.
Kageyama already got rid of his gakuran so now only the soaked white shirt was sticking to his chest and outlining every line of his body unlike Oikawa whose school uniform had at least a vest to cover up.
Oikawa noticed the way Kageyama kept pulling at the wet fabric stuck to his torso and his gaze lingered there for a while, longer than necessary.
Then, he remembered the Aoba Johsai jersey in his bag, a graduation gift from Coach Irihata to him that carried his support and expectation towards Oikawa’s future.
“Take off your shirt and wear this instead”, Oikawa pulled out the uniform and handed it over to Kageyama, trying to sound casual rather than caring. “You are shivering. Put this on before you catch a cold and pass it on to me, Tobio-chan”.
Kageyama blinked in surprise. He hesitated for a moment, but when the chill crept under his skin with every gust of wind, Kageyama decided to not overthink why Oikawa was suddenly being kind to him.
“What about you, Oikawa-san? Aren’t you cold?”, he asked politely while sliding Oikawa’s jersey over his head. The fabric hung loosely around his shoulder, a reminder that he still had a lot more to catch up to Oikawa including the difference in their physical body.
Kageyama couldn't wait until he became as tall or taller than Oikawa. That was one of the reasons why he was still drinking milk until now.
“Only an idiot would catch a cold, Tobio-chan. Don’t worry”, Oikawa chuckled, the playful smirk curling back onto his lips.
“Also you look pretty good in Seijoh colour. Maybe white suits you better than black”.
Oikawa bumped his knees towards Kageyama and the latter just realized how close they were sitting now and his heart stuttered.
The air between them felt softer, more tender. It reminded Kageyama less of the crackling tension he usually felt around Oikawa and more of the slow, aching romantic dramas Miwa liked to watch on television.
Kageyama used to think he could never understand it, but now he was afraid to feel it. Being afraid of Oikawa wasn’t a foreign feeling, but when there wasn’t volleyball in the equation, he didn't know how to face it.
So, he kept his eyes focused somewhere out in the distance, afraid to look, afraid to feel. Afraid to confirm that this was all in his head, that it was just Oikawa teasing like always, without any meaning on it.
“Too bad that you lost your once upon a time opportunity to ask me for something”, Oikawa tried again to provoke a response from Kageyama when he realized Kageyama had gone quiet.
He wondered if it was a wrong decision to lend Kageyama his uniform? Was it too intimate? Too unlike their relationship?
Kageyama swallowed, his throat felt very dry with the effort to keep his body still, to not make any contact with Oikawa but every time he shifted, the borrowed jersey brushed against his damp skin and he flushed again.
It was too much but at the same time not enough.
“I…”, Kageyama started, but the words caught when Oikawa answered with a little hum to show that he was listening. This still felt unreal to Kageyama, to have Oikawa's whole attention on him, but he continued, “I want to know where you would be playing after graduation…Are you going to play for university or already got an offer from a V-league club?”.
Their knees bumped again but this time Kageyama didn’t flinch after steering the conversation and their relationship into volleyball again. Something that he knew was at least real between him and Oikawa.
Oikawa sighed and looked at Kageyama from the corner of his eyes. Of course, Kageyama would ask about this. What was he expecting, anyway… That stupid furrowed brow. That adorable ugly scowl. Still terrible at talking and only had volleyball on his mind. An absolutely despicable and amazing person who kept getting stronger, rising faster, being recognized everywhere now as only Kageyama Tobio. Not Oikawa’s junior anymore.
He should keep teasing, should tell him ‘why are you so obsessed with me Tobio-chan’, should break the news about his plan to Argentina easy and thoughtlessly ‘you are going to keep chasing after me forever, huh Tobio’, he should .. he definitely should… but he couldn’t.
Because deep down, he wasn’t sure if Kageyama needed him anymore. Hell, he wasn’t sure if Kageyama ever needed him.
Oikawa squeezed his eyes shut. This thought made his throat close. He could hear the rain patter on the roof with a gentle tap-tap and then, he felt it. A warm breath against his cheek.
When Oikawa opened his eyes, Kageyama’s face was right in front of him. He looked worried and that was when an idea clawed at Oikawa’s chest, a selfish need to not be forgotten, to leave something behind, something that Kageyama couldn’t ignore and replace.
And before Oikawa could stop himself, he leaned in and kissed Kageyama. A desperate, fleeting press of lips which was full of all the feelings he couldn't give him.
Kageyama stiffened, wide eyed and shocked like he didn’t know what to do, like no one had ever done this before. But, he didn’t push Oikawa away, instead he melted into the kiss. His lips moved against Oikawa’s, warm and trembling, uncertain but determined and his fingers curled into Oikawa’s vest as anchor.
So, there it was, something that no one else could take away from him. Kageyama’s first kiss.
Oikawa pulled back just enough to see the pink flush blooming across Kageyama’s cheeks, so he could commit the pretty sight to his memories, Kageyama Tobio, dazed and breathless because of Oikawa Tooru.
For a second there, Oikawa almost told him everything. About Argentina. And also maybe even about things he just realized now, the feelings he didn’t want to let go. But, if he told Kageyama now, it would ruin this perfect moment.
It would turn it into a goodbye. And Oikawa wanted Kageyama to only remember this day as one of the best days of his life. Just like Oikawa's.
Oikawa Tooru
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
June, 2016.
In hindsight, Oikawa thought maybe it would be better if he just told Kageyama everything at that time.
At least then, it would be a proper goodbye.
At least then, Kageyama wouldn't be the victim of Oikawa’s fleeting feelings that he never dared to let burn.
At least then, Oikawa’s heart wouldn’t be haunted by the shadow of someone that he just couldn’t let go yet.